#UGH CRAP i just want to live in peace why is my brain like this

[lindszeppelin]

Linds… ugggggggh. Just ugh. I’m about thisclose to losing my shit. I agree with you on the Cabo pix and it’s absolutely disturbing to see him AGAIN hiding under a towel.

I’m distressed that he is not more distanced from this group and my patience is running thin. I wish I could completely shut out Austin’s non-work related images and info. But honestly there’s no way.

I have some musings about the situationship status — that (full disclosure) have no basis in knowledge or reality. It’s just the crap rolling around in my head. Anyway…

We have discussed the complex elements he was navigating in his personal and professional life as this arrangement was orchestrated. I wonder if he has conflated his own increased level of fame/attention due to his work with the amount of exposure he has by being associated with them. I mean maybe he doesn’t see it as a “Gerber” problem but mistakenly thinks it’s mostly due to his own fame. Like they would be able to live a more private life if not for HIM.

I find it hard to believe a man in his 30s who grew up in Hollywood would be that naive. But maybe his good heartedness has blinded him a bit to their ways.

AND/OR

He’s 100% not interested in a life partnership at this time and this will do for now so why bother breaking up with K and drawing down all the associated drama when he clearly invests minimal emotional capital in her anyway. It’s a great idea except for the downside that she/this tarnishes his image. But he is likely unaware of that part. And maybe no one whose opinion matters to him actually cares.

I don’t know.

This is what my brain resorts to because I fucking can’t stand STILL seeing him associated with her. It’s like pairing filet mignon with funyuns.

What is wrong with me??? Why why whyyyyyyy do I waste my time/energy on this????

Thanks for being there bestie! Thank god I’m not alone.

haha MJ I adore you so much, and i love your analogy of filet mignon and funyuns.

but i first wanna say that the reason why you or us can't stop thinking about this no matter how hard we want to just support austin's work and not want to be forced to see the cringe shit about his situationship is because we clearly see it for what it is. if he was with the woman of his dreams that he loved, we would support him and we would invest a lot less time musing over it because well...there would be no issues with said relationship to be concerned about. as women, we have the deeply intuitive knowing that SOMETHING IS WRONG and the problem is not being corrected. it's being left to corrode. plus, we care about him and so we worry. just like any person in our lives that we love, we worry and our brains can't help but get drawn to it and hope that they're okay. same applies here. so, you're not crazy for thinking about this or putting energy into it. we would not be here if he was in a truly loving relationship that was fucking obvious to the entire world. we would applaud him and wish him the best and have peace of mind. this situationship disturbs the peace because it is not right.

but secondly, i think the latter of your theories is where my money goes, if i was a gambling woman lol. she is a "here for the moment" chick, not "wife material". minimal investment, not wanting to deal with the litany of press and media about a huge breakup announcement. he's probably still traumatized from how the media has taken and spun the vanessa breakup so i don't blame him for being a little scared. but what we know is that kaia is not his forever. men that are serious about their intentions on a woman will waste no time, and will not only show their genuine interests for a woman but they will make plans and they will settle down faster. it happens all the time. my parents got engaged after 6 damn months and they're still together after decades of marriage. he clearly is not ready at this time for marriage and she is too young for that serious commitment. so, low investment and probably biding his time waiting for the right time and the right woman for him to drop this gerber baby.

he's a smart man, he would not propose to a 22 year old girl like this is 1942. he just got out of a 10 year relationship not long ago. men don't jump ship like that so soon. it's gonna take him time to be ready for that serious commitment. and men take a lot longer to be truly ready for marriage before women are anyway. he is focusing on his career before settling down, clearly, as he has stated a lot that he is career focused.

but i'll end this by just reinstating that the cabo pics from last christmas and after the award season this year were vastly different in tone compared to this christmas. he was out and about the last two times, yes he had a towel on his head once, but generally he was seen pictured outside. this time he was seemingly hiding away in the resort, left by himself and not wanting to be seen by the paps with her or her family. alarm bells ring off. if this man has to practically quarantine away on what is supposed to be a vacation then it seems like he's at the end of this rope. also, what man that had a 2 year anniversary with their girlfriend act like that? a man that doesn't give a damn about her. he never did this with vanessa, not even once. he was proud to be around her, and if the paps came around when he didn't want them around then he protected her first from the cameras, using himself as a shield. but the towel over his head in cabo is different. how much more he is willing to take before enough is enough is up to him, but this felt like a desperate attempt to be by himself. and if kaia was the one, she would never put her man in that position out on the beach to be readily papped when she knows he doesn't like it.

and no bestie you're not alone <3

[knife-dad]

.

#my parents have pretty much decided that due to my grandpa's health they will be moving back to the states #which is great... we can afford a house with six incomes... I'll have my dog again... #but the thought of having to live with my parents again is making me spiral lol 🙃 #i love them but that last year before i left gave me a lot more trauma than i am willing to admit #and I've stood up for myself and gotten apologies and everything is fine but... I've got this fear that if i live with them again it will #go right back to being the way it was. i spent that last year in a constant state of not feeling productive enough #and struggling with intrusive thoughts and yeah my parents love me but they also don't always know how to help me #and my dad especially has made comments in the past that make it clear he doesn't know how to help with my mental health #and i just. i cant deal with that every day again #but maybe it wont be like that. maybe when they move back they will treat me like the adult i am and give me space and stuff #maybe it will be better? maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion #anyways. i think i just have to wait and see how it goes when they move... but if it's bad im gonna need to platonic marry someone and leave #preferably to a commune with all my friends on a nice estate in Utah. but i have to give my parents a chance first #any way ignore me I'm being dumb i love my family and i will be fine. i will be fine or so help me i will get out and thats a threat #also oh shit idk how long i can stay in the closet if i have to live with them oh no oh no... #UGH CRAP i just want to live in peace why is my brain like this

[greenhappyseed]

BnHA Ch.318 - Comparisons and parallels

Hey, did you hear Bakugo was back? I kid! Of COURSE everyone on Tumblr heard the collective BKDK screams. :) While the gremlin ex machina is the big news, a lot of other good stuff happened too.

We open the chapter with more Endeavor chitchat. He’s turning out to be a good coordinator, an insightful investigator, and all around worthy of being a top pro…except he’s still a crap father and still doesn’t seem to care about human beings. Even here with Deku, he appears to express concern over Deku’s wellbeing but immediately follows it up with:

Yup, he only cares about Deku as the OFA holder, not the kid who saved him in the war, the kid who used to intern for him, or the kid who’s friends with his kid. Ugh.

Deku swears to Endy that he’s fine because he’s still on his feet, but that’s a pretty poor standard. I mean, he’s wobbling and needs Blackwhip as a literal crutch. The vestiges agree with Endy and start to gang up on Deku, so Deku, in all his tired teenage wisdom, decides to ghost them. Apparently you CAN ghost a vestige, and Fourth is not here for it.

Holy heteromorph discrimination! All the villains we see Deku fighting are heteromorphs (some are even dressed like Spinner). We also see Deku fighting a gigantic shark-headed villain in the water, presumably because Gang Orca and Selkie were busy.

I LOVE the panel of Deku thinking of his family, his teachers, and Eri. This is what he’s fighting to achieve, but Deku’s perceptions (goals?) don’t necessarily line up with reality.

His mom is first (awwww) and she’s cheering for him like she did when he was little. NOT worried, not crying, just pure joy for her hero son, like he fantasized when he was a quirkless boy.

Gran Torino in his hero outfit, smiling and eating — NOT as Deku last saw him in the hospital.

Proud Dadmight with a genuine smile, NOT hero All Might. Also, All Might appears to be wearing his track jacket, not a business suit, so presumably Deku is thinking about a more casual training moment with his mentor. This is an interesting contrast to Gran Torino, who Deku DOES picture as a hero even though Torino handed his cape to Deku in the hospital.

AIZAWA GLARING WITH BOTH EYES AND HIDING HIS MOUTH, because THIS is how Aizawa looks in Deku’s happily ever after. But we all know Aizawa is probably hiding a sly smile under under his capture weapon, right??

Eri, finally smiling freely, because she’s learned how.

Also, it looks like Deku is again fighting heteromorphs at the bottom of this panel, although one of the kids he’s defending appears to have a duck bill, so we have some positive representation too.

Deku says he wants everyone to live their lives in peace and safety so they can smile together. Wow, where have we heard an idealistic kid say that before?

As Deku thinks about the ideal he shares with All Might, he arrives at Kamino, the place where “All Might” ended. Deku nearly collapses and meets his end when he sees a villain called Dictator, who was sent by AFO. Yup, Nagant wasn’t the only one sent by AFO, she just thought she was (and AFO didn’t prep her well — by comparison, Dictator received a full briefing about Deku). But look carefully at how Dictator uses different insults than AFO. He doesn’t call Deku useless or a boy (as both AFO and Nagant did), even though the imagery throughout this chapter points to the “what can you even do?” bit from Chapter 1. Instead, Dictator calls Deku reckless, impatient, and a loner.

“Rampage” in particular, calls back to this AFO/Yoichi exchange during the vestige battle, where AFO decried “rage” as being ruled by emotion and out of control, but Yoichi praised it as a form of passion.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I think AFO is increasingly afraid of Deku. AFO is putting more effort into prepping his assassins, and his pass-through insults are sounding more like the taunts he hurled at All Might. AFO is now referring to All Might as useless and Deku as reckless. If, somehow, we see Dictator in the next chapter, I’m curious if he’ll explode or bust out a second quirk…..He does say taking Deku to AFO will bring him security, so I think AFO explicitly threatened him. All I’m saying is, it’s weird that a villain named Dictator has no mission statement or political end he’s trying to reach. He seems to be acting purely on AFO’s orders or ELSE, which means AFO is getting desperate and doesn’t have time for games. By contrast, AFO persuaded Nagant the boy would stop hero society from collapsing, therefore her goal and AFO’s goal were aligned. Unlike Dictator, she wasn’t aware there was an “or else;” she didn’t know she would explode if she exercised “free will.”

Deku snaps out of his stupor long enough to challenge Dictator to give up AFO’s location. Dictator says if Deku wants a fight, he’ll give him one, which echoes a line from AFO in Kamino:

There’s no more “come quietly if you want to keep your limbs,” it’s straight to “let’s fight!”

FINALLY! We. See. Bakugo! I adore how Deku is piled under bodies, twisting his tired brain around, thinking “I need a strategy,” and Bakugo is just, “VILLAIN GO BOOM!” with a precision blast. He knew exactly how to get the villain while keeping civilians safe. Perfect victory (assuming Dictator is truly done). Also, Bakugo’s “that punk” could apply to either the villain or Deku. :) It’s a nice callback to the final exam when Deku can’t think of a strategy to win against All Might and Bakugo was, “I choose violence against my childhood idol.” Both times, Bakugo’s right — sometimes a little rage is necessary to save and win.

I have thoughts on AFO and the “my body moved without thinking” bits that I’ll post separately. As for my next chapter hopes and dreams:

More Bakugo and UA kids. Plus All Might and Stain. And some LOV love pleeeeease.

Figure out why Second is being sus. He says saving everyone is the right path for Deku (contrary to AFO, who calls Deku’s path “thorny”), and that inaction is not an option for OFA holders. We also know Second believes victory = life and defeat = death, so it makes sense he’d push Deku towards victory no matter the cost. Second also says there’s something that can bolster Deku, which is presumably Bakugo and friends. However, when Bakugo arrives, Second doesn’t look pleased. Assuming he’s standing the same way against his throne chair as he is at the start of the chapter, then in the panel below Second is looking over his LEFT shoulder AWAY from the other vestiges and towards the expanse of the OFA mind realm. (Earlier in the chapter he looks over his RIGHT shoulder to speak to Yoichi and Third.) WHY YOU LOOK AWAY FROM VESTIGE FRIENDS WHEN WHEN BAKUGO APPEARS??? ARE YOU ON THE LOOKOUT FOR AFO TO ARRIVE??

Although the arrival of foreign heroes has been promised for a bit, and I’m ok with some background forces to bulk the hero ranks, I’m not keen on new cannon fodder cameo characters that will show up for 4 chapters and then disappear. A Captain Celebrity appearance would be fun, but let’s be honest, he likely noped out of going to Japan to fight villains gone wild. If Death Arms quit, there’s no way Captain Celebrity would keep going!

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #mha 318 #bnha 318 #mha meta #bnha meta #long post #all for one #afo #mha afo #bnha afo #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #deku #mha deku #bnha deku

[pride-moth]

You only get what you grieve [Stolitz Week Day 5 Hurt/Comfort]

Ao3 Link

Event Info Link

Stolas has been drifting in and out of consciousness in his tight restraints for hours by the time Blitz, Millie, Moxxie and Loona break down the door to his holding cell. It’s a big, empty room, all metal and a single cupboard. Stolas is tied to a chair, has been for days, no food, no water in his reach. To get it, he would depend on Stella’s mercy and she has shown him none.

It takes him a moment to force his eyes open, and attempt to feel his own limbs when they all pour into the room. He can’t, the ropes around his body have cut off all sensation in them. He can faintly remember them hurting when he was first put in them, but all the pain has long been replaced by unbearable numbness.

Blitz rushes towards him to hold his face between his hands. “Millie! Give me your knife!” he yells and cuts Stolas free the moment he receives the knife.

Stolas’ arms fall to his sides uselessly. “Blitzy?” he says weakly, his voice barely more than a rasp.

“Sir, I think he’s dehydrated,” Moxxie remarks.

“Then get some water, Moxx!” Blitz yells, making Moxxie scurry into the back of the room, stands in front of Stolas again and takes his face back between his hands. “Stolas? Hey, it’s… It’s okay, we’re here now, you’ll be okay.”

“Stella?” Stolas asks, it’s all he can get out.

“She… She’s dead. We… Took care of that. It was… I was… Sorry, there was no other way.”

Stolas doesn’t say anything, but is overcome with a hefty cough.

Moxxie comes running back with a large bottle of water. Blitz yanks it from his hands and holds it carefully to Stolas’ beak. “Slowly,” he says softly, perhaps more softly than Stolas has ever heard him speak.

He drinks, trying to slow himself down, but he hasn’t had a drop of liquid in three days and his body is aching for it with every fiber. His arms start to itch again, so that’s a good sign as well at least. He stops drinking for a moment to whisper “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, I wouldn’t just let you die in this hole.” There’s a rumbling above them. Blitz looks up in obvious concern. “Can you get up?”

“I don’t know, I barely feel my limbs.”

The steps above them grow faster. “Loona, you’re strong, can you throw him over your shoulder when we get in a hurry?”

She shrugs. “I guess. Either way, we should probably get running.”

“I thought…?”

“Yeah, we got rid of Stella, but unfortunately Striker still has a bit more of a personal problem with us,” Millie explains while she gestures for Blitz to give her her knife back.

As if on cue, Striker appears in the doorframe, already bleeding from his shoulder, but his eyes hungry for a fight. “You killed my source of income, you destroyed my job and you’re even trying to save this pompous asshole?”

“I’d rather have a pompous asshole than a deranged one!”

“Hand him out to me, I’m sure there are enough overlords and royals in Hell who would be more than willing to pay a good bounty for him. And I would even be generous and give you all 10%. As a peace offer.”

“Fuck you and your peace,” Blitz says, draws his gun and takes a single shot.

The bang echoes throughout the small room and leaves Stolas’ ears ringing. A stinging pain takes over that makes it hard for him to look up and focus. But when he manages to lift his head again, he sees Striker on the ground, struggling to hold onto this bleeding leg.

“Let’s get out of here,” Blitz sighs and motions for everyone to follow him as he jumps over Striker and leaves him behind on the ground.

“Sir?” Moxxie says as though to raise an objection.

“Shut it, Moxx. Loona, take Stolas. Now.” Blitz doesn’t even look back at them.

Loona throws Stolas over her shoulder with surprising ease and carries him outside.

They make their way through the abandoned warehouse building in uneasy silence, only the sound of steps on metal between them.

When they make it outside, the light almost burns Stolas’ eyes. “Let’s go to the office,” Blitz offers.

“But Via…” Stolas says weakly, still hanging over Loona’s shoulder, suddenly overcome with fear for his precious baby.

“She’s there, we got her out of the palace first thing before we went on our little rescue mission. Took one of your butlers, too, so someone can look after her.”

“Oh thank the stars.”

“No, thank me maybe, but you can save that for later.” Blitz fishes his phone out of his pocket and stuffs it back in, frustration all over his face. “Moxxie, would you call an ambulance?”

“What?”

“An ambulance. Weee-oh, weee-oh. Takes people to the hospital, do you even have a brain up there?!”

“Sir, I know what an ambulance is, but why?”

“Well, Striker is bleeding out in there, for one.”

“Don’t you want him dead?”

Blitz laughs. “Are you insane? He’s the only motherfucker in Hell to put up a real fight, do you really think I want to deprive myself of that fun?”

Moxxie sighs, shakes his head, but calls the ambulance without further discussion.

Loona sits Stolas down on the couch of their waiting room. Stolas thanks her and feels sleep gnawing at him more intensely than ever before.

It takes not even two seconds before Octavia storms in and throws her arms around him, “Oh my God, Dad! You’re safe!”

Stolas weakly lifts his arms, thankful to feel them again at all, and wraps them around her. “Of course, Via. I would never leave you alone.”

“I assume Mom didn’t make it?”

Stolas’ looks around helplessly, unsure of how to respond.

“She was on the way to fully execute your dad, so we didn’t really have a choice,” Blitz says, as a matter of fact, but he doesn’t seem particularly happy about it. “I… I’m sorry.”

Octavia nods. A thousand emotions run through her big eyes in a matter of seconds. Grief, relief, anger. “I… I’m glad you’re safe, Dad. I just… I need a moment.” She lets go of him and gets up. She leaves the room.

“Via-” Stolas tries to get up but his legs don’t quite allow him to yet.

“Leave her,” Loona says, “Her mom might have been a bitch, but she was still her mom and it’s hard to lose that. I’ll check on her later.”

Stolas wants to protest, run after his daughter, but simply gives her a sad nod. He’s not running anywhere yet.

“How are you feeling?” Blitz asks as Millie enters the room with some hot chocolate for everyone.

Stolas can only shrug. “Like shit, mostly. I can sort of feel my body again, at least. But, I just… I can’t form a clear thought, it’s all so… foggy. I… I can’t even think of how I feel about Stella being dead. It doesn’t feel real. Nothing feels real.”

Blitz nods and hands him one of the hot chocolate cups. “That’s okay, take your time.”

“You’re being extremely nice to me,” Stolas remarks.

“Stolas, I’m coming off a 72 hour rescue mission and I’m mostly just glad you’re alive. I don’t exactly have energy left over for snarky sarcasm, okay. Being as charmingly abrasive as I am takes work.” Blitz plops down on the couch next to him with a shaky laugh. Stolas leans against him.

“Thank you. I don’t think I would still be alive without you.”

“I would never let you die,” Blitz whispers.

Across the room Millie is gesturing at Moxxie and they excuse themselves from the room moments later.

“Where are they going?”

Blitz sighs. “Ugh, they want to give us the room. As if I’m gonna drop a whole confession speech on you when you barely function.”

Stolas stops. “Confession?”

“Oh crap.” Blitz blushes. “I… Don’t worry about it today, okay? Worry about your daughter and the very awkward funeral you’re about to attend soon. Just… Just let me help you put yourself back together.”

Stolas stays silent.

“Let’s start by massaging your shoulders, those must be killing you. Sorry, maybe not the best time to make jokes about murder. Uhm, anyway.” Blitz puts his mug down, gets off the couch to walk behind Stolas. He starts carefully massaging Stolas’s shoulders.

It feels good, it takes some of the edge off, it brings warmth back into Stolas’ body. It makes everything feel a little less horrible. It makes everything horrible he has experienced in the past few days feel a little farther away. He doesn’t want Blitz to ever stop touching him. He wants to feel these hands on him for as long as he lives. It should be some earth-shattering revelation, but it simply feels like the culmination of everything they’ve been through. “I love you,” he whispers, without thinking.

Blitz stops massaging him for a moment. “You should call a therapist.”

“Because I love you?”

“No, because you’ve just spent three days tied up in a storage unit without food or drink and your wife had to be murdered to get you out of there. You might need some help processing that.”

“Were you even listening to me?” Stolas asks, a little heartbroken.

“I was, Stolas. And I love you, too, you big idiot, but I’m not going to talk about this with you now. Not before we’ve slept for 24 hours. Not before things aren’t somewhat okay with your daughter. I don’t… I’m not going to take advantage of you like that.”

“It’s not-”

“Please, Stolas. Let me just… Be there for you for now. Platonically.”

Stolas swallows but then he nods and that’s all that’s said about it for the evening. It’s enough, though, for now, that Blitz brings him hot chocolate and massages him and helps him talk to Via and helps him get up and walk again. And Blitz is right, he has other concerns for now. The horror of the moment is over, but there’s so much work ahead.

#helluva boss #stolas x blitz #stolas x blitzo #stolitz #stolitz week #hurt/comfort #fanfiction #my writing

[fleetingpieces]

My One in a Million Chapter 4

Tagging @donttouchmycarrots and @sunflowerfox87 who I still can’t believe wanted to be tagged 🥺 

Thank you so much everyone for your support ❤️

And as always, thank you @inloveoknutzy and Nayla for proofreading, you guys are the best  ❤️

My One in a Million Masterlist

Chapter 4 - Morning routines

The feeling of the earth on his bare feet. Long nights playing video games with his friends. Streaming for his fans. Slow sunsets and starry nights. Having the gang at his flat all the time. Relaxing bubble baths. Sunday lunch with the Potters. Making the people who doubted him shove their words up their asses.

Those were all things Sirius Black loved.

Having his brother drilling him at 7 am on an otherwise perfect Friday morning was most definitely not one of them. Not at all.

“I told you a thousand times already, and I’ll say it again one last time. I am not. Going. To that stupid. Fucking. Dinner,” he practically yelled over the phone.

There was a tired sigh on the other end of the line.

“Sirius, please. Could you stop thinking only about yourself for once? They want you to come.” A short pause. “I want you to come.”

Sirius grunted lowly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No, Reg. I gave them too much already. I can’t keep giving them more. I’m sorry.” He hung up before Regulus could get another word in and raked both hands through his hair.

Manipulative pieces of crap. They ‘wanted him to come’? What a fucking pile of shit. They had never wanted him there, they only wanted whatever they could get from him, asking for more, more and more, until they could suck him dry. They wouldn’t even be bothering with him if he was of no use to them.

Saying no to Regulus was the hard part. Knowing they were using him precisely because of this, that Regulus himself was using it against him, was almost like a knife twisting in his gut. 

It hurt.

It hurt so fucking much, because Sirius still cared about him. He was still his little brother, despite the decisions they had both taken for their lives. But Regulus didn’t see it that way.

Sirius started pacing up and down his room, rubbing a hand through his face as his other went instinctively to his back pocket to grab a pack of cigarettes. He hated feeling like this, hated the push and pull that came with his family’s relationships; craving the acceptance of his own blood, wanting to be close to his brother, but also feeling like he needed to get as far from them as he could. Why couldn’t they understand he didn’t want anything to do with the company? Heck, he didn’t want anything to do with most of them, he only kept some sort of contact because of Regulus. Even if his brother didn’t really want anything to do with him.

A flash of pain slashed him in the middle of his chest, and Sirius stormed off to the balcony, a fag already between his lips.

Lighting it up felt like lifting some of the weight off his shoulders. He pictured all of his problems in his head and imagined exhaling them with the smoke, drifting away in the morning sky until there was nothing left of them.

Sirius snorted. He wished it was that easy to get rid of all his worries, but his brother’s voice kept whispering in his ears, no matter how many times he watched the smoke dissipate in front of his face, mixing with words that were not Reg’s but still sounded in his voice. Stop thinking about yourself. You’re such a disappointment. We gave you so much, and this is how you repay us? You don’t care about me. You don’t care, you don’t care, you don’t care.

“Ugh, fuck,” Sirius grunted as he leaned on the rail and let his head hang low, pressing his forehead against the cold metal.

A low sound reached him through the fog of noises in his head. It was a song he’d never heard before, its rhythm slow and calming, and Sirius tried to focus on that to clear his mind and make the voice shut up.

He raised his head, looking at the place where it was coming from, only to be faced with a sight that almost made him drop his cigarette six floors down.

The new neighbor, Remus, was behind the glass doors of his balcony, standing on top of a yoga mat, wearing a black tank top and a pair of grey shorts that were dangerously hiking up his thighs in the position he was currently in.

His arms were stretched on top of his head, his toned muscles making the veins in his arms pop, and his broad shoulders working with the slow movements he was making. There was such a peaceful air about him. His eyes were closed and the sun was drawing golden lines that flitted through his hair as he bent down at the waist to touch the floor, leaving his back exposed.

The freckles on Remus shoulders disappeared below the t-shirt, and Sirius desperately wanted to know just how far they reached. He swallowed thickly, unable to look away. It was mesmerizing to watch Remus transition between poses, his lithe body flowing like water. He briefly wondered if the man was as pliable in other ways, but when his heart rate started quickening, Sirius decided he should stop being a creep and allow his neighbor the privacy he deserved. Before he could tear his eyes away though, a black shadow darted into the room and tackled Remus to the floor.

Sirius gripped the rail unconsciously before he realised it was just Remus’ dog, and he was left breathless once more at the image in front of him.

Remus was laughing as the dog nudged him with its head, two of its paws pressed over those powerful shoulders as Remus stroked the fur at its sides. The man’s eyes were crinkled, his curls falling onto his forehead in a tawny mess that was so cute Sirius thought he might die.

Seeing him smiling like that, it reminded Sirius of the Halloween party almost a week ago.

At first, he’d been annoyed about Lily bringing Remus and a stranger into his home, but that was mainly ‘cause Sirius had been on edge about the whole family drama. He had been looking forward to a chill night with his friends, and having outsider eyes at that moment felt like something that would have made him step on eggshells all night to avoid revealing his identity.

But Remus had proved to be as interesting as Sirius had thought him to be the first time they talked, always taking him by surprise with his comments and reactions.

Sirius desperately wanted to know where the hell Remus had learned to play like that. It wasn’t every day that he was beaten by someone that didn’t seem to have a lot of time for games, even if he’d been overly distracted by his toned thigh touching his own leg. Yes, Sirius had had a hard time concentrating, but he hadn’t slacked off. Remus was good. And Sirius wanted to know how.

He was intrigued by the man in so many ways, his interest peaking with every new little thing he noticed: the gaming, the yoga, his weird way of thinking -Sirius chuckled when he remembered how Remus had thought he was a fucking drug dealer-, him showing up at a party wearing a jumper that was a few sizes too big for him, looking so impossibly cuddly and warm; his relationship with his dog, his relationship with that Leo guy.

As Remus nuzzled his nose into the dog’s fur, Sirius thought about the rainbow coloured bracelet on Leo’s wrist. He admired the guy for wearing the flag so proudly, just there in plain sight for everyone to see. Sirius wished he could do the same, to stand tall, out in the open. But the consequences for him were way too high.

A small, annoying part of his brain felt the need to remind him that this didn’t mean Remus liked dudes. But Sirius took comfort in the knowledge that, at the very least, it meant that he was ok with it. That he wouldn’t condemn Sirius for it.

Sirius reached for a new cigarette, even if he was already feeling calmer, and put it between his teeth, taking a second before lighting it. While he played with the flame of his lighter, he wondered how Remus knew about Padfoot. Oh, what he wouldn’t do to know that story.

His heart warmed, not for the first time, at how Remus had defended Padfoot so fiercely, having no idea that he was right there; no idea how much his words meant for Sirius. Remus had understood him incredibly thoroughly for someone that didn’t even know who Padfoot was. That he was sitting right next to him. And Sirius wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but he wanted to find out.

It was no surprise that Remus hadn’t recognized his voice, even though he was clearly a fan. Sirius always hid his accent on his videos to conceal any connection to his family, so his parents wouldn’t intervene and ruin everything.

Suddenly, the music drifting from the room next door changed to a more upbeat one. Remus lifted the black dog up in his arms, something that couldn’t be easy given its size, and hugged it as he started twirling around the room, laughing brightly as he did.

He was dancing. 

With his dog.

And the face he was making, like the animal meant the world to him... How could someone you barely knew be so fucking endearing?

Sirius was still staring when Remus turned around and lifted his head, his eyes locking with Sirius’. He stopped mid-turn, the smile slipping from his face. Sirius felt a blush prickling at his cheeks at being caught basically ogling him, but he waved with an awkward smile.

His only answer was a scowl, even if from afar he could tell Remus was blushing too. He set the dog down, glaring at Sirius, who let his hand drop slowly as he watched the man close the curtains in a slash.

Sirius hid his face in his hands, feeling the heat radiate from his cheeks. How could he fuck up so much? Remus would think he was a fucking creep now. Dragging his hands down, Sirius knew he would have to genuinely step up his game if he wanted to get to know this man.

In the afternoon, Sirius was still pondering ways to get more acquainted with Remus, and coming back empty handed. He didn’t want to just show up at one of his classes, he lived right next door for fucks sake! He should be able to find a way to start up a conversation with him, right? Although Sirius had to admit, he hadn’t seen much of the guy since he’d moved in. Of course, Sirius hadn’t exactly been in the right state of mind to notice him.

But life seemed to be on his side, at least this once. Because when he stepped into the coffee shop where he was meeting up with James and Lily, the first thing he saw was a head of tawny curls.

Barely keeping in his glee, Sirius walked towards Remus, figuring he could just say hi. He stopped dead in his tracks though, when he was just a few steps behind him and he realized Remus was humming the lyrics of An Open Letter to Myself.

“I love that song,” he said without thinking. The man had a lovely voice, sweet and a bit sad, and it made his curiosity peak again.

Remus jolted and turned around with surprised eyes and slightly flushed cheeks, but as gold met silver, his eyebrows dropped quickly over his eyes. Sirius was taken aback by the clear hostility in Remus’ features, which made him stutter as he cleared his throat.

“Sorry, I... I saw you and thought... I… uhm... should come and say hi? So...hi,” Sirius said and immediately groaned inwardly at his stupidity. Since when was he this clumsy? 

“Hello,” Remus said in a polite, detached tone before he turned away.

Sirius took a minute to rearrange his thoughts while he placed his order right after Remus. They got their drinks at the same time, and before Remus could walk away from the shop, Sirius scrambled for something else to say.

“Your dog is beautiful, what’s its name?”

The corner of Remus’ mouth tickled up at the mention of his pet, but it was pushed down almost instantly.

“Cocoa,” he replied reluctantly, and Sirius almost spit his tea.

“Cocoa? That huge ass dog has a cute name like Cocoa?”

Remus rolled his eyes, but he was almost pouting. “I just really like chocolate, ok? Besides, he’s just a pup,” he said as he moved over to add some sugar to his chai latte. Sirius followed.

“A pup?” he said incredulously. “How is that a pup?!”

Remus huffed. “He’s only about two or three years old.”

Sirius stared at him in disbelief. That dog was already past Remus’ knees, and if what he was saying was right, he was probably going to grow some more.

“Did you adopt him?” he asked, tilting his head, thinking about Remus’ choice of words. He was focusing his whole attention on Remus, and that was probably the only reason why he noticed the slight stutter of his hand as he stirred his drink.

“Yeah,” he said in a breath. Sirius thought that would be the end of the conversation, but then -as if he couldn't help himself- Remus added, “he was very young when I found him. He was abandoned and practically left to die; his previous owners must have thought it was too much trouble to raise a wolfdog, and decided to leave him tied up in the woods instead of being decent human beings and finding him an appropriate home.”

There was such disgust in his voice that Sirius took a step back while his heart melted into a puddle. Of course he rescued dogs. Sirius was starting to wonder if this guy was even real. He’d been so thoroughly captivated by him in such a short time, it was a bit scary. Sirius hadn’t felt like this in a very long time. He hadn’t let himself feel like this, it was too risky, and he knew it would be more sensible to leave Remus alone and stay away from him before things got worse, but he had felt drawn to him ever since the Halloween party.

“That’s awful. No one deserves to be treated like that,” he replied softly against his better judgement. If things got worse, he’d deal with that later.

Remus’ head snapped up, and for a moment it looked like he was drowning. Sirius had no idea what had brought that expression to his face, but the only thought in his mind was how desperately he wanted to erase it. 

In hopes of doing so, he tried to change the subject to something lighter. “So, you like games, huh? You really did a number on me the other day. When did you start playing?”

The response he got was not what he’d expected. Remus’ expression hardened, and he turned his gaze away as he discarded the used stick with more force than was probably necessary.

“That’s hardly any of your concern, is it?”

Sirius blinked. And then blinked again. Was he still mad at him?

“Look, I’m really sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just-”

“You really think this is all just about this morning?” Remus snapped.

“What?” Sirius was confused. What had he done? He’d made a little fun of Remus the first time they talked, but it hadn’t been that bad, had it? 

“At least you weren’t smoking into my room today,” Remus added with a huff, which made Sirius frown.

He supposed he did smoke quite close to the edge of their balconies, but by the way Remus was talking, he felt like there was more to it. He tried to think of all the interactions they had had so far, but he couldn’t think of anything that would elicit Remus’ anger. His mind drifted to them sitting on his couch with the NHL game, how their shoulders had bumped together playfully, how Remus had even seemed to be comfortable once he got a controller in his hands. It was the only time Remus had acted in a friendly-ish manner towards him, without the scowl that seemed to be permanently weighing down on his brows. But none of his smiles had actually been directed at him, they had all been shared with Leo.

He smiled a lot around the blond, but whenever he was close to Sirius he seemed to be in a bad mood. Sirius hated that.

“What did I do for you to dislike me so much?”

“If you need to ask, it just shows that it’s not even worth answering you.”

Remus turned around and walked briskly to the door, leaving Sirius completely dumbfounded. The door opened just as Remus was reaching for the handle, and he almost bumped into Lily and James, who were coming in. Sirius watched as he nodded at them with a few words, threw one last glare his way, and disappeared in the afternoon sun.

Lily watched him walk away with a confused expression on her face. She glanced at James who just shrugged, and then she looked directly at Sirius with a deep frown. He seemed to be getting a lot of those lately.

“What was that all about?” she asked when they got next to him.

“He hates me, that’s what it was,” Sirius grumbled.

“Why?”

“I don’t know!” Throwing his hands in the air, Sirius stared at Lily like she held all the answers in the world. “He looks at me like I’m the worst person to ever walk the Earth. What did I do to deserve that?”

Lily winced, and Sirius felt his heart freeze where it had melted on the floor.

“Well, apparently, you haven’t been a very good neighbor, have you?” she said gently. Everything started falling into place then, and Sirius suddenly had a pretty good idea what she was talking about. He could be a very self-absorbed prick after a row with his family.

“What can I do?”

“Maybe you should try apologizing first,” she doubted for a second before she kept going. “I’ve heard you broke something important of his on the day you two met.”

“That was him?!” Sirius asked in astonishment, remembering the day he’d knocked someone over in the hall, and ignoring the few heads that turned his way at his raised voice.

“You’re joking, right? You didn’t know?” When Sirius only shook his head, still speechless, Lily stared at him, bewildered. “Sirius, how could you not know?”

“I was so angry at the time Lily, I barely noticed anything I was doing!” Sirius said in a pleading voice. He glanced at James for support, who looked at him in sympathy and understanding. Sirius rubbed a hand over his face. “I just needed to get out of the flat, I couldn’t stand the sight of Reg with his cold eyes and-” Sirius stopped himself, clenching his fists.

It all came back to him. How Regulus had suddenly turned up at his flat, even though he wasn’t supposed to know the address. Even though he hadn’t visited Sirius’ home in five years.

How Reg had looked at him with such clear disappointment, like Sirius was nothing more than a waste of space, and had told him that he was expected to attend the annual Black Enterprises’ gala and fulfill his duty to the family. How he had stated that it was time he stopped acting like a child, with his foolish, selfish dreams, and took his place in the company.

Sirius had never wanted anything to do with the monster corporation that was Black Enterprises. He hated the way they did business and how they treated people, like anyone outside the Black family was trash.

A hand on his shoulder shook him away from his memories before he could spiral down into the hole he’d been in in the weeks before Halloween. Sirius looked up, and found James’ kind hazel eyes.

“It’s ok Pads,” he whispered. “You’re out of there. They have nothing on you, and you owe them absolutely nothing. I’m sure you can fix this.”

Sirius hoped his friend was right.

#My One in a Million #wolfstar #wolfstar fic #remus x sirius #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #neighbor!au #yoga!remus #remus #sirius orion black

[sweetchup]

Family

Type: Chrollo x reader

Au?: Family Au? Ish? But still takes place in normal HxH

Word count: 3000+

Warnings: Mature content, Abandonment, Disownment, Non-Con, Smut, Voyerism, little bondage, breeding kink (if you squint), no protection and Yandere

This isn’t how you imagined the day before your 22nd birthday to go. Yet here you were, sitting in your small two bedroom apartment with your two sons, well adoptive sons, who were playing on the floor quietly. The quietness is almost peaceful and comfy, even with the cramped space the cheap place provided. But you couldn’t just ignore the elephant in the room.

Legs spread and body leaned back into the Sofa. You would’ve thought Chrollo Lucilfer lived here based on how calmed he was. His eyes weren’t trained on one of his favorite books either, instead they were watching, observing, the boys on the ground, his sons, his itsy bitsy spiders.

You couldn’t deny it either. As you look at them, the resemblance was uncanny. The twins were basically almost identical copies of the young man. Except for a few minor differences.

Rubbing your temple, you close your eyes. How did you get into the mess exactly? Oh yeah the day after the twins were born.

———————

Fingers cold, clothes wet and throat hoarse, you stood out in your driveway in the rain. This wasn’t how you pictured your first couple of days out of high school to go. Your face and body stained with the cries from the sky, it was raining so much tonight that it was even hard to see what was even in front of you.

“You can’t do that to them! It’s wrong Melissa! Mom, come on we need to stop her!” You shout, not letting go onto your sister's arm.

“(Y/n) stop. You need to let it go” Your father orders from the door of your house, your mother in his arms distraught. Her body visibly shaking at the event turning out in front of her.

“Let it go. Let it go?!? You are seriously going to allow her to sell her newborn children, your grandchildren to meteor city? To that shitplace?”

Your older sister, Melissa, yanks her arm from your grasp. She glares at you backing away.

“It’s where they belong in the first place!”

Melissa gestures back at the old truck on the street. Next to the truck stood a man in a hazmat like suit holding the crying twins in his rubbery arms. You lost it and pulled Melissa by her shirt.

“Fucking excuse me?!?”

She shoves you away and into a puddle on the ground.

“You don’t understand (y/n)! They are monsters just like their father. We need—“

“Who says they are?! They literally got born yesterday.”

“(Y/n)—“

“No!! You are being selfish!! It wasn’t their fault you decided to go on a fun adventure and get knocked up by the leader of the phantom troupe! You—“

“(Y/n) that’s enough!” Your father yells, “the decision has been made.”

You ball your fist in the dirty water. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair! They hadn’t done anything wrong. Melissa was being selfish.

She thought it was all fun and games being with the leader of the phantom troupe. Getting her bubblegum brains fucked out by Mr bad boy. Yet when it came to being responsible for what she had done and made, she couldn’t do it. She just didn’t want to go through the trouble.You know what. Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck everyone.

Cursing under your breath, you stand up and dig into your pocket. Pulling out a wad of cash you chuck half to your sister and walk over to the man who has the twins.

Without a word you hold out the money as he looks at you. He looks at his partner next to him who grabs the cash. The man counts the money and nods. You quickly grab the wet and crying twins into your arms, backing away from the men.

Sadly you look down at the pair as the wiggle in your arms from the rain. You need to get them to warmth quickly before they get sick. Taking a look at your house, you walk inside.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n) (L/n)!! What in the world are you doing?!” Your mother shouts and follows after you.

———————

Now here you were, 4 years later, in this apartment. You had just finished High School when the babies were born, kicked out when you took the twins in and have been on your own since then.

Well until now, of course. You had come home from taking the kids out on a small toy shopping trip to see Chrollo sitting on your couch. It had seemed he had finally tracked you and the twins down, though you weren’t hiding from him anyways. You knew it would be futile to escape from an A-list bounty criminal like him, it would just waste money and time, and you were smarter than that.

“Mom!”

You look over at the eldest of the twins who had called your name. It wasn’t the best time to choose to talk but you can’t do much about it now.

“Hmm? What wrong August?” You say, getting off the couch and sitting on the ground next to the boy. The boy looks at chrollo suspiciously before looking at you

”Can I have shiny?” He whispers, like it’s a secret.

“Shiny?” You parrot back, “Oh! You mean my Keys?” August hushes you like he doesn’t want Chrollo to know.

Reaching into your back pocket you grab the keys. You palm them in your hand before letting them dangle out in front of the young boy; jingling as they drop.

“You want to play with my keys August?”

August’s eyes sparkle and he claps his hands with glee as you hand them to him.

“Thanks mom!” He shouts walking over to the rest of his toys.

You smile as you look at the young boy. August was the eldest of the twins, and even though he was still so young he was very mischievous. In a simple sense three ways to describe him were he was playful, a little sneaky and truly a little thief, especially when it came to the many shiny objects around the house. He loved to take them and hide them in his many secret places so he could keep them all to himself.

Your keys were one of his favorites. His all time favorite even. You didn’t know why and neither did he. All you could guess was it was due to you allowing him to play with it ever since he was a little baby.

“Hmm? Kao? What’s wrong?” You ask, looking at the small boy peering from under the coffee table. Kao’s silver eyes just stare at you and he only responds by blinking once.

Kao was the opposite of August, sure he was mischievous at times as well, those two could be quite a handful, but he was very quiet and liked to keep to himself compared to his brother. Due to him liking to be quiet he had created a bit of a habit of doing this Morse code type of thing with his eyes. One blink means no, two blinks means yes and many blinks means I don’t know. Then there were also the many expressions with his eyes that he would be added to those blinks. Like an angry gleam in his eyes with a yes blink could translate to “Ugh fine” while a glossy sad eye with a I don’t know blink could translate to “mommy. I don’t know.” Or “Hold me.”

Right now Kao only blinked once and he has blank eyes so he said “nothing’s wrong”.

“Oh ok Kao. Is there anything I can get you?”

Kao opens up his arms and blinks twice for yes.

With a small whisper he says “cuddle.”

He was so cute sometimes. You coo at the young boy, pulling him gentle from under the table. As soon as Kao is in your lap, he rubs up into your soft sweater. After a couple more rubs and moving around he lets out a soft sigh, deeming he was comfortable and happy.

“Hey! Let me join!! I wanna cuddle mom!” August yells and sprints from his pile of things. With his running start he jumps, more like cannonball, into your lap. You groan as August lands. Here we go again. Or maybe not?

You had expected Kao to huff and claw at August. He usually does it when he believes his older brother is being a nuisance or being too rough with you. Yet you instead see that Kao is ignoring his brother and is having a staring contest with Chrollo.

Crap… you were so distracted by the kids that you forgot Chrollo was even in the room.

.

.

You kind of wondered how long this could go on. Chrollo seemed like a tough shell to crack.

.

“Cuddle” Kao requests suddenly. Startling everyone in the room.

Kao's request causes Chrollo to raise an eyebrow at the young boy. You however just sat there astonished. You couldn’t believe Kao had invited Chrollo for a hug. Kao hates strangers. It took the young boy over two months to allow any of the other children or staff at the daycare to even approach him.

You hear a creak from the coach and watch as Mr Edgelord himself, Chrollo, stands up and approaches your group. He was totally an Edgelord though with his long leather cross jacket, slick back hair and pale white skin. He looked like BotchedTopic hurled all over him. I mean that wasn’t bad he was clearly handsome, hell he was a 10 out of 10 in your book, but you just couldn’t wrap your head around how your blonde, fake and plastic like sister went and got knocked up by this guy.

Chrollo sits down on the floor next to you and goes to grab the boy from your lap but Kao only shuffles away. Chrollo pauses and looks amused at the young boy and tries again but the same thing happens. Chrollo looks at you to see if you know what’s going on.

With knitted eyebrows you look down at Kao. “Kao what’s wrong? Don’t you want to cuddle with dad?”

He blinks no but repeats “Cuddle”

You don’t understand. But August seemed to because he lights up like a Christmas tree.

“Yeah mom cuddle!”

You laugh, confused, and look at August. “August what are you and Kao talking about?”

“Mom!! It’s obvious! you have to cuddle with dad!!”

You blink a couple of times in shock before going beet red as Kao nods his head.

You sputter out incoherent words before taking a deep breath and in a soft voice say, “August, Chrollo and I aren’t together, together. We just can’t cuddle randomly.”

As you finish you see August’s face drop and Kao looking sad. Then for the first time in a while Kao actually says a full sentence.

“But...but the other mommys and daddys do it. The other kids tell us all the time.”

You are shocked silent. So that’s why. You hadn’t even thought of the fact that Kao and August are the only two at the daycare that don’t have a dad. You didn’t even think about what was being said by other kids or if they even noticed. Man this was a situation you had gotten yourself into.

Sighing you look up at chrollo. You don’t want to do it but you know it would make them happy. Pulling Kao and August off your lap you turn to chrollo.

Sheepishly you look at him in the eyes and, amused, he nods.

Holding onto his shoulder you sit lightly on his lap. You still wanted to keep distance between you two so you leaned a little bit above his chest and sat on his thigh instead. You thought it would be a good plan, though Chrollo had decided on other things. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you right against his chest and into his lap.

Your heart was practically hammering out of your chest and face was on fire. In a sad attempt to hide it from him you put your head on his shoulder, hiding your face using his fur collar.

August is heard giggling happily so you know your plan has worked and the two children are no longer sad. Listening, since you can’t hear them, you hear the two children move around and hear August whispering. You knit your eyebrows in confusion when you feel a large soft fabric put over the two of you.

“Thank you. That was kind of you two to give us a blanket” Chrollo says to the boys. His warm breath tingling against your skin.

As you sit there, stiffly, you hear the boys converse a little more, well mostly Chrollo and August. They just exchange a couple of questions to get to know each other before two pairs of footsteps are heard walking away and a door closes. Kao and August must have gone to their rooms to play.

Ever so silently, you pull yourself slightly off of Chrollo’s lap and look down the hallway to confirm that the two boys are gone. You sigh in relief when it was true but you are suddenly cut off.

You struggle as you are pounced upon and pinned down to the floor by Chrollo. With one hand holding your hands above your head and the other hand tying a cloth around your mouth, you were in a tough spot.

Your insults and cries are muffled against the fabric made gag. Chrollo hushes you as he bounds your hands above your head.

“Now, Now, (y/n), no need to cause a scene.” He says which only causes you to glare. He chuckles at your look, “Don’t worry I’ll make this quick for us.”

While you were taken aback by his comment, Chrollo grabs onto the waistline of your pants and panties and pulls them off in one quick swoop.

You weren’t going to allow him to use you this though. No way in hell. While he was unbuckling his pants you take your leg and kick him in the face as hard you can knocking him over.

Wiggling away, you pull your bounded hands to your face to take the gag off. Finally off you try to shout.

“Au—“

But you couldn’t even finish a word as Chrollo had pushed you face first into the floor and held you there. Wiggling around you can’t get the muscular man off of you. Cursing at yourself for being so stupid and naive to let this man into your house, you go to shout again.

“Ack—“ You are cut off again as chrollo shoves two of his fingers into your mouth. Your eyes water, you gag slightly at the foreign object in your mouth. You hear Chrollo chuckles above you. He brings his head to the crook of your neck and starts biting and sucking at any possible skin he can get at.

“Hmm… maybe I should’ve let you call out. I wonder what the boys would’ve said seeing you in this position.” He mumbles out against your neck.

You freeze in your tracks, balling your fist in absolute furry. How dare he. How absolutely dare Chrollo say that in a situation like this. Using them as some sort of hostage. Bargain.

But at the same time, you couldn’t do anything. You couldn’t, no you never want them to have to walk in to see this. The threat had work. You were trapped.

Chrollo takes his fingers out of your mouth and spreads your legs. You shiver as he runs his fingers up and down your slit; spreading the wetness he found there. He chuckles and pulls his fingers away wrapping them around his length instead. He gives himself a couple of testing pumps for good measure and aligns himself up. You take a deep breath as he starts to push his length in. Choking on your breath and gritting your teeth you try to keep yourself quiet to not show you were in pain. Finally bottoming out, Chrollo groans into your ear.

“I'm your first huh? I feel very honored.” It seemed your attempts at playing it cool hadn’t worked on him.

“Shut the fuck up you bastard” you curse lightly out at him. Though you regret saying that as Chrollo suddenly pulls his length all the way out before pounding back into you. You moan lightly out into the crook of your arm, from the pain and pleasure.

“I don’t think I heard what you said (y/n). Do you think you can repeat that?” He says calmly. You could practically hear the smirk on his face when he said that.

Not going to give up to him you try to answer back but are cut off as he starts off at a rough pace as if he was trying to pound you into the ground. The sounds of slapping and lewd noises fill the room as you try your best to keep quiet. It was pointless though because even with your mouth being blocked with your arm you were still loud.

“F-fuck-k Chrollo-o slower. Slower. You’r-re making too-ohh much noise.”

You hear chrollo humm above you in consideration. He pauses and flips you onto your back, entering you again. You think maybe he listened to you for once, but are proven wrong real quick when he sets a fast pace.

You reach up pushing against his chest trying to get him off, in a sorry attempt to get him off. Sure this made less slapping and lewd noises but with this position his length was just getting deeper, making it hard for you to be quiet.

“Mom?”

You freeze to the bone. You look to see that thankfully August wasn’t actually standing here and was still in his room. The only problem is that now you have to answer the boys while being pounded into by chrollo. And you damn well know he isn’t going to take a pause for you to do so.

“Y-yes August? What’s up?”

“Can we have pizza for dinner tonight?” He whines from his room, “I’m not in the mood for chicken.”

“Why-y of course. I’ll make it as soon as I can.”

“Actually, August we have other plans”

You looked shocked up at Chrollo. What in the world was he planning now? He puts one of his hands up to your face, slightly skimming your cheek. Your shiver at the touch and go to bite his hand but stop when he changes his pace. You mewl and pant as his now change of pace, with harsh and slower thrusts, bash constantly into your g-spot. Biting your lip, you shake your head at chrollo, asking for any mercy.

“Huh? But we want pizza.”

“Oh it’s not that it’s just.” Chrollo takes a minute to think, “It’s just I adore the way your mother takes care of you two. Calm, well-kept and so sweet. It causes my heart to ache just by watching you three.”

Chrollo pauses for a second. Letting out a soft groan as his thrust went frantic, he seemed to be close as well. You tried to hold on but you just couldn’t keep it in any longer. You felt the pit in your stomach finally burst causing a wave of pleasure to fill your veins.

Shaking in pleasure and dazed you feel chrollo let out a few more thrust before joining you as well. Letting out a low groan as he filled you up with his warm cum.

Letting out a couple of pants you both try to compose yourself. Now pulled out, chrollo zips himself up and wraps you in a blanket before hugging you into your chest. Absolutely exhausted and sore you don’t fight back.

“I still don’t understand dad.”

Crap you totally forgot about August. It also didn’t help that you couldn’t do much in the state, you probably couldn’t even walk correctly.

Chrollo laughs, “I see. Well I talked to your mother and we decided that you all, you, Kao and your mother, are going to stay with my friends and I. We are going to all travel together as one big group and we need to leave tonight to catch the quickest flight. So we are going to have dinner at the airport instead.”

You looked shocked at Chrollo. This man must be out of his mind. No way you would willingly allow you or the boys to go with him. Especially since his friends were probably the other troupe members.

You hear quick frantic footsteps and see August and Kao are sprinting from their room. Both are gleaming with happiness; even Kao had a small smile on his face.

“REALLY DAD?!? We are staying ALL together?!” August shouts out excited; doing a little spin at ‘all’.

“Why of course! That not all—“

“NOT ALL!!”

Chrollo hushes the boy and places a hand on your head. The sweet action causing a shivery go up your spine.

“Your mother has actually also agreed to being my wife and the mother of another of my children. A little sister or brother for you two.”

It’s silent in the room and you looked stunned at Chrollo. You felt sick to your stomach. This man WAS out of his mind. He was absolutely bonkers. Insane! A sociopath!

Suddenly, you are jumped upon twice. Blinking you looked stunned at your kids in your lap. Tears and snot rolling down both of their faces like waterfalls. You reach out to them, holding them tightly to you.

“K-Kao? August? Are you ok? What’s wrong?” August pulls away from your clutches, sniffling.

“M-m-mom,” August babbles out trying to rub the tears off his face, “I’m so-o-o happy! I’m SO happy”

“Wha—“

“Family-y” Kao mutters into your neck, “H-Happy family.”

You go to say something but are cut off as Chrollo pecks your lips. He looks at the boys and pets August’s head.

“Yes boys. We are one big happy….

family…”

#hxh #hunter x hunter #phantom troupe #hxh scenarios #scenarios #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo lucilfer x reader #yandere #yandere chrollo

[athrialuxegna]

Stronger than she thinks Part 2

Triggers warning: mental and physical abuse, violence, swearing

Part 1 | Part 3

Fanfiction | Archiveofourown | Wattpad

It was 6 a.m when I walked out of the cafeteria and nearly choked on my saliva when I saw Eric and Brent. They were laughing at some joke. I couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge in my stomach. If only Eric knew what monster Brent was. Who was I kidding! Eric would not give a shit about this. They stopped in their tracks when they notice me. My face contorted with disgust at the sight of Brent’s horny eyes looking up and down my body. A cold shiver ran down my spine.

“Christine, long time no see.” Brent’s smirk was full of himself.

He had me cornered. Eric was staring at our exchange. It was really bad. If I backed away it would give too much information and the same if I retorted. Ugh, one week of more or less peace wasn’t enough. I became a real ninja since my encounter with Eric. I have succeeded to avoid both men, but my luck was wearing off today.

“My life was brighter without the sight of you. Such a shame you just ruined it.” My sarcastic tone enraged him, his ears turned red and his eyes shot fire. Good. Then he smirked. Oh, crap.

“You know you miss me, Chrissy.” His voice was hushed and seductive.

All color was drained from my face. My nails were digging in my palms, blood slowly spilling from the crescent wounds. This nickname rang a bell. He had called me that when he was all over me. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood in my mouth. Motherfucker!

“I have something better to do than talking to a prick like you.” I hissed back, turning on my heels.

“You’re so hot when you’re angry Chrissy.” He called after me.

A wave of entangled emotions was bubbling inside of me. It won’t be long before I break down. I began to run when I turn the corner. I went straight to the roof. The rain was pouring hard. Thick drops fell on my face and soaked my clothes. I screamed at the top of my lungs to the raging sky. I couldn’t take his attitude, his face nor his fucking nickname. I took out all my pent up anger and desperation onto the wall beside me. My knuckles hit the wall harder and harder until my knees gave out.  I imagined his face, as bloody as my hands, as shattered as my soul. I wish I could just disappear or forget what happened. Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks. Okay, maybe I was not drained yet.

“Why did you do this to me?” I asked to the raging sky, defeated.

“Why who did what to you?”

Eric’s deep voice startled me. He was standing right at the door, the only escape from the roof. Wonderful. I sighed deeply. I am so fucked, I thought. I felt like I was ready to jump from a cliff without a safety net awaiting me at the bottom. Everything was crashing down around me. I had nothing to lose now. Still, a part of me refused to admit what happened. My bruised ego wasn’t willing to let go. I closed my eyes a second before answering, my back still facing him.

“It’s none of your concern Eric,” I replied dryly.

The tears had stopped as soon as I heard his voice. I appeared weak enough right now to not turn around crying my eyes off. Eric came in front of me, crouching down to be near my level. His eyes more intense than usual as if he was trying to read my thoughts. I wished I wasn’t in the cafeteria earlier. I wished Eric would just ignore me.

“I know this is related to Brent.” I hold my breath at the name. “Tell me, Christine, what did he do to you?” His cold voice chilled me to the bone.

I shivered but held his gaze nonetheless. I shook my head in complete denial. Eric was the last person I wanted to confess to. Eyebrows furrowed and teeth clenched, I held my ground.

“Nothing.” My voice was surprisingly strong.

Eric huffed then closed the gap between us. His breath fanned my face, our noses nearly touching. My breath quickened at the sudden intrusion into my personal space. Tears brimmed in my eyes and I cursed my body for trembling like a leaf. Eric’s eyebrow quirked up, his piercings glistening at the movement. His icy blue eyes tore into my soul, curiosity burning inside them. However, his face was void of any emotion.

“Now, tell me why are you in such a state? You can’t fool me, Christine.” His low voice reached a deeper octave.

Seconds passed, I couldn’t bring myself to tare my eyes away from him. Even though I hated him to follow me up here. Didn’t he have better things to do? I closed my eyes and whispered finally.

“Brent raped me.”

My surrender cost me a lot. It was the final straw, the confirmation that my life became a living hell. Silence followed my confession. I found the courage to open my eyes. Eric was fuming, his gaze fixated on the ground. A hole would appear any second in the concrete at this point. His clenched jaw and fists told me that he was on the verge of losing his self-control. I didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing. Was he angry at Brent for doing this? Or was he angry because Brent might lose his job as his consultant? So many questions swirled in my mind when his sharp voice cut the dreadful silence.

“When?”

“Monday night,” I replied curtly, not trusting my voice further.

“Son of a bitch.” He muttered under his breath. “We have to report to Max. Brent has to respond to his crime.”

His words held a finality that scared me. Will he report with or without my consent? His entire demeanor screamed that he was ready to bolt for Max’s office any second. I shot him a wary look and shook my head. It can’t be happening so fast. I hadn’t processed the whole thing yet.

I needed some time to prepare myself for the incoming battle. Should I say the truth or should I lie? An investigation won’t do anything without my word. Brent set up the whole thing, there was no proof. Unless… I went to the infirmary to be examined. No way, no one would ever touch me again or see my lady parts.

“Max won’t know anything. Brent can’t be judged for his crime because of the circumstances.” I retorted with annoyance.

“What circumstances? Rape is rape for fuck’s sake.” Growled Eric.

“You wouldn’t understand because I can’t even figure it out myself,” I admitted bitterly. “Cowardice is my crime.”

“What do you mean?” Something flickered in his eyes.

“While he was…” I trailed off. “I couldn’t move a muscle, my body won’t cooperate. I was helpless, an empty shell. I could just watch and... feel.”

The words ran out of my mouth before my brain could register. I wished I could disappear or that Eric would magically teleport somewhere else. I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment and shame. I lowered my gaze onto the floor, I couldn’t look at him after saying this.

“It is pretty common during a traumatic experience. Your brain shuts down to protect you, it’s a defensive response.” He explained with a rather know-it-all voice.

A surge of unknown anger bubbled inside of me. His nose side triggered something deep. I huffed and threw my arms around to avoid punching him. His psychological bullshit wouldn’t help me to get rid of my guilt.

“I was a coward nonetheless and I’ll remain as long as I can’t forgive myself. Where’s the Eric I know, the ruthless leader? He would just say to suck it up and get on with my life or I would end up Factionless. Why do you care anyway? Just throw me over the roof already to end my misery!” I yelled.

Eric stood still, unfazed by my sudden outburst. He crossed his arms over his broad chest and waited until I calmed a little bit. His eyes boring holes into my skull.

“Enjoy, this is the only chance you’ve got to shout at me.” He smirked briefly. “No matter what you think of me Chris, this is part of my job to ensure the security of all Dauntless members. The only way to protect you and other women is to send him to justice.”

I growled inwardly. He was right. Brent should be stopped as soon as possible. He could do worse in the meantime. I sighed deeply and bowed my head. I was conflicted. Part of me wasn’t willing to give in. My intimacy had already been violated. I didn’t need a nurse looking down there now. I was selfish, I knew, but it was easier to ignore it than to face it. Tell me about being Dauntless, huh.

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready to report this,” I muttered.

Eric’s lips twitched up at the corners in an almost genuine smile. My heart skipped a beat at the sight, his face always tight and closed was a bit relaxed. Bewitched Eric returned. His changing demeanor was unnerving, I didn’t know what to expect next.

“We should go back inside to take care of your knuckles. Unless you want to catch the flu.”

He turned on his heels and stalked away. He didn’t seem bothered by the rain drenching his clothes and hair. I followed him down in the compound. The cold hallways made me shiver. My soaked clothes clang awkwardly to my body. I certainly looked like a penguin with a stick shoved up his ass or a pathetic excuse of a cowboy, walking after hours of riding a horse. We didn’t say a word until he took a turn I hadn’t expected. He was leading me down the leaders’ quarter. I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Why do you bring me here?” I questioned warily.

“You prefer Marlene’s questioning?” He retorted coolly.

I began to walk again. Marlene was the head of the infirmary, a curious young woman who couldn’t hold her tongue. Eric’s smirk returned to his lips. He was himself again. Good. We entered his apartment. It was huge, tidy, and neat as if no one lived here. There was classical furniture, a black leather couch, a table, a full bookshelf. Three closed doors faced us, which lead to the kitchen, the washroom, and the bedroom, I presumed. Eric went into one of the rooms to get me spare clothes.

“You can use the bathroom to take a shower and change. We’ll take care of your knuckles after.” He pointed to the door closest to me.

I nodded and took the clothes from his hands. He disappeared quickly through the same door. I guessed he had a bathroom connected to his bedroom. Perks of being a leader. The hot water hit me and washed my emotions. Reality dawned on me. Eric knew. He was the only one other than Brent. How will it go between both men? They were working together, how was this supposed to go well?

I hoped that Eric would not do anything impulsive. It would only worsen the situation I was in. I didn’t even know what was the law regarding rape. Did it even exist? I wasn’t sure. Rape was a rare occurrence in Dauntless, exceptional trials that I’ve never seen in my twenty-five years here.

I tried to escape from my thoughts while drying myself. I get changed. Eric gave me one of his shirts, a large hoodie, and jogging. It smelt like him, his scent surrounded me. A mix of mint and leather. A strange sense of security settled in me. A knock on the door resonated.

“Are you finished?” Eric asked through the door.

“Yes, you can come in,” I responded, slightly surprised by his thoughtfulness. He could have barged into the room with no care in the world. We were in his apartment after all.

The door opened and Eric walked in. He changed into a similar outfit to mine. I couldn’t recall the last time I’ve seen him in anything other than his leaders’ attire. His tight shirt outlined his toned chest and his jogging hang low on his hips, I could catch a glimpse of his smooth skin. I adverted my eyes elsewhere, disturbed by my wandering mind. I was raped a week ago and I drooled over him. Something was definitely wrong with me. Did Brent hit me too hard?

I’d lie if I said that he wasn’t handsome, but Eric was Eric. He was untouchable, a leader, and most importantly the bearer of my secret. I needed to suppress the reminiscence of my crush on him. It wasn’t the time nor the best circumstances and, let’s be real, Eric could have any other Dauntless girl. So why bother with me?

Eric opened a drawer and took a first-aid kit without glancing at me. I had washed all the dry blood from my hands. The cuts were visible now. I let him take care of them. His rough hands were gentle and he kept space between us. I appreciated the gesture even though his changing behavior unsettled me. He bandaged my hands then cleaned all the supplies.

“If you want to fight find a real opponent. Next time the wall will win. Your bones are not that tough.” He remarked, his eyes resting on me.

“I wish I could kill him with my bare hands but it would do me no good.” I huffed while rolling my eyes.

“You could call me next time.” His voice light as a feather.

“What? You’ll do worse than the wall, Eric.” I responded, crossing my arms over my chest.

His laugh filled the bathroom. I’ve never heard it before. I was stunned for a second, processing what I was witnessing. I must’ve looked at him like he had grown two heads because he composed himself and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” The ghost of a smile lingering on his lips.

“I’ve never heard you laugh before,” I said without thinking.

His serious expression returned as well as his cold blue eyes. The Eric I knew was finally back.

“Now get out of here. I have work to do.” He dismissed.

I was about to leave when I look at him with worried eyes. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Come on, I won’t do anything about your secret without your consent.” He practically growled.

“Thanks, Eric.” I nodded slightly then walked out of the apartment.

Once alone dread fell onto me. I went to the tattoo parlor, my safe haven. Tori was cleaning her stuff when I walked in. She smiled at me and beckoned me to come with her to one of the tattoo stalls. I joined her and sit on the tattoo chair as if I belonged in here.

“Hey, Chris you want something today?” She asked, taking a sit by the chair I sat on.

“Yop Tori. I think I’ve got an idea.”

I explained to her what I wanted. She drew the design, it was better than what I have expected. The buzzing of the machine soothed me. It was a tough pleasure to get tattooed. The needles were in and out of my skin, the dull ache growing in my back. Tori hadn’t talked since the beginning.

“Now, would you tell me why you’re wearing man’s clothes and have your knuckles bandaged?” She asked out of nowhere.

I tensed slightly then relaxed not to mess up the tattoo.

“I ended up getting caught in the storm outside. Someone get me spare clothes. ” I answered carefully.

Tori hummed in response. Silence fell upon us once again. I must have fallen asleep because Tori woke me up by shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see a large smile on her face.

“Good nap, sleeping beauty?” She mocked.

“Sorry, I won’t do it again,” I replied, stretching my sore muscles.

“Don’t do promises you can’t keep, Chris.” She laughed.

Every time Tori tattooed me I fell asleep in no time. I smiled and get up to see my back in the mirror. The beautiful Phoenix, wings spread, was looking back at me. It was stunning, the fine details made it seem real. A masterpiece that took my entire back. Satisfied and happy, I turned to Tori.

“This is wonderful. Thanks, Tori.”

She nodded and was called by another customer. I waved goodbye and took my leave. I didn’t know what to do on my days off. Even more so now that I didn’t have any friends to spend time with. I missed hanging around with Jenna and Kate. I have encounter neither of them since their visit in my apartment. A dull ache crushed my ribcage, I was alone. Brent took everything from me. He took more than my innocence, he destroyed my life. I couldn’t trust anyone, not fully at least. There will still be a doubt, a “what if” that will ruin my relationships. I wandered in the Pit like a lost soul. It was becoming full. I sat on a rock and watched Dauntless members passing by.

A hand fell on my shoulder. I jerked away and turned around to face Four. My eyebrows furrowed as my heart calmed his frantic beats. He looked tired, working in the control room took its toll on him. He seemed more dynamic when he was training the initiates. He arbored a somber expression, his eyes boring into mine.

“Chris we have to talk about something. In private.” He muttered.

I gulped, it wasn’t something good. Four had to know something to appear out of nowhere to talk. He had seen something. Cameras were all over the compound. Brent couldn’t avoid all of them. I didn’t want anyone to see what happened. If they were a trial, it would be watched by so many people. My body shivered and I get up to follow Four in an empty hallway. We stood a few feet apart, staring at each other, choosing our words carefully.

“Chris, I saw what happened Monday night. Eric and I were talking about the next initiation when the screens showed you and Brent.”

Eric knew before I confessed. I felt betrayed that he didn’t tell me. I swallowed thickly and shook my head. The situation was getting out of my hands. I needed to get out of here. The pitiful gaze Four cast on me made me sick. I couldn’t take his soft eyes. I turned around and ran as if I was chased by a werewolf.

I turned the corner and crashed into a strong body. My eyes settled on Brent. He had his arms wrapped around my waist to keep me from falling. His intense brown orbs plunged into my emerald irises. My body stiffened and I wriggled in his grasp to get free. It only made him tighten his grip.

“Oh Chrissy, I knew you would run after me.” His low voice rang in my ears.

I tried to pry him away from me to no use, he was way too strong. His lips graced my neck, a cold shiver ran down my spine.

“Brent get off me. I don’t want you.” I growled.

Footsteps echoed in the hallway. Brent let me go and I bolt out of here. Eric was right. Brent had to be brought to justice or he will continue. I went into my apartment and closed myself for the rest of the day. I didn’t eat this evening. I was feeling sick at the idea of explaining what happened to Max and the other leaders. My night had been restless, haunted by horrible nightmares.

#divergentfanfiction #Eric Coulter #EricXOC #fanfiction #ericdivergent #slightlyAU #NoWar

[babedur]

The Ebon Hawk looked like a pigeon squatting among eagles as they set it down in the Royal Hanger Bay of Iziz, but fortunately the man who came to greet them looked about as worn as they did. 

“Jedi,” Captain Bostuco said. “It’s good to see you again.” His eyes flicked over her bandages, the way she leaned on Bao-Dur- and him on her- to get down the ramp. “You mentioned over the comms that you were in need of assistance. Medical is standing by.”

“Thanks,” Tiniat said, aware that she should probably be saying more. “It’s… thanks.” Nothing else came. 

They were whisked away by medics who were tired, overworked, but practiced and calm. Iziz’s brief war had given their veteran doctors a refresher in front-line trauma care and their fledgeling students a crash course. Poison gas, laser burns, these were things they’d already seen in the weeks prior, even if this time they’d happened on another planet. Tiniat was content to close her eyes and answer simple questions about where it hurt. The deeper consequences of the last few days would wait patiently. 

The only sticking point came when the medics tried to give them private rooms- a luxury, nowadays, since many of the Onderon military’s wounded were only just beginning to walk or wheel their way out of recovery. But Tiniat… would not be separated from her crew. Not yet. And given how Atton suddenly materialized at her side and how Brianna had sunken into an opening stance, they would not be parted from her, either. A shared ward it was. 

Tiniat slept. 

She woke, drank some water, relieved herself, slept. 

Woke. Mical informed her that a message had come from Telos, Admiral Onasi reminding her of her promise, but Mical had told him that it could wait. He seemed pleased with himself, maybe a little smug. It was a charming look on him. Or maybe it was good to see him look anything other than tired and a little hunted, how he often looked when she woke. She needed to catch up with him, with several others of her crew, since the last few days happened so fast that they hadn’t had any time. 

But she slept. 

She had a… some kind of nightmare. A spreading emptiness, taking everything, all life, her feelings draining out of her. She woke to Atton shaking her shoulder, and he talked to her about repairs to the ship, absently straightening her pillow and fixing her blankets until Tiniat simply reached over and took his hand, because she didn’t know what they were but surely they were something where he could wake her from a nightmare and she could hold his hand while he talked her ear off to drown out the fear that was circling her brain like a fog.  And eventually, she slept.

She woke. She ate. The medics informed her that she could shower, so she did so, and the hot water felt like it brought her back to life. Or, at the very least, back from a very cold place. 

There was a list of things she needed to do. Speak with every member of her crew and figure out what the hell had happened- highest on that list were Bao-Dur and Mandalore. She needed to figure out what their position was with Iziz, since they’d been mooching off their hospitality for a few days, though saving the life of the queen a week prior probably covered that. She needed to actually see to the ship, she needed to sort out what her crew wanted to do next, she needed to deliver the navicomputer to Admiral Onasi. 

But first, she needed to get dressed.

Luckily, Mira was on the ball. Or, at least, outside the shower stall, with a pile of Tiniat’s clothes. “We’ve been taking turns,” she said, bluntly. “Whatever happened on Malachor- it was… bad. Mical and Visas had it the worst, aside from you, but even they were up a few days ago.”

Tiniat frowned. “How long have we been on Onderon?”

“About a week. Eight days, actually. You didn’t know?” Mira sounded like she was pushing down a bit of alarm at that. Tiniat didn’t blame her. She was pushing down some alarm, herself. 

“No, it felt like…” It felt like she’d been drifting in and out of sleep, sure, but not for that long. An entire week. “It didn’t feel like that long. Where is everyone?”

Mira was definitely happy to steer the conversation back to the practical. Tiniat took her clothes and stepped back into the shower stall to change while Mira updated her. “Around, mostly. Mandalore went back to Dxun after two days, said he’d be in touch. HK’s been snooping around the palace. Atton hates it, but I think the droid’s just bored. T3’s working on the ship. 

“Mical’s been making himself either useful or a nuisance, depending on which medic you ask- he’s barely let any of the rest of them come near you since he got back on his feet. Keeps meditating over you. Not going to lie, it’s kind of creeping me out, and I know that his healing trances actually do stuff. 

“Handmaiden- or, Brianna, I guess- has been doing her Handmaiden thing, training with the military. She made the mistake of practicing with her saber a few days ago, so now everyone’s wondering exactly how many Jedi are with us. I’m happy to let them just think it’s you, Mickey, Brianna, and Visas, honestly.”

“I’m fine with that, too,” Tiniat said. “I wonder how long it’s going to take for G0-T0 to take his bounty off… wait, didn’t he… die?” 

“Oh, yeah, HK got him. He’s very proud of that. Told all of us how he’d removed that blight from existence, and how it only coincidentally saved our meatbag lives, it was all just because G0-T0 insulted his pride as an assassination droid, you know. The works.”

Tiniat snorted. “Sounds about right. Bao-Dur?”

“Worked on the ship for a day or two, then went down into the city. He’s been doing some fancy stuff with shields to keep the beasts from the wilds from getting into what little farmland Iziz has. He looks like crap, honestly, but you know him. He prefers to be busy.”

Tiniat could only imagine. “Visas?”

“Honestly, she’s doing pretty good, compared to most of us. Meditating a lot, talking to us- I think she’s trying to sort out what’s going to happen next. I mean, it’s gotta be pretty hard on her, getting out from Nihilus’s thumb only for most of us to… do whatever we do next, I guess.”

Tiniat finished lacing up her boot and stood, looking over Mira. “And how’ve you been?”

Mira shrugged. “I’ve been fine.”

Tiniat raised an eyebrow. 

“You’ve been up for all of thirty minutes, after spending a week staring dead-eyed at the ceiling, and you want me to dump my woes on you?” 

“When you put it that way, it makes me sound kind of messed up,” Tiniat observed. “We all went through hell, Mira, I don’t expect you to be okay and I don’t expect to be able to fix it, but please don’t pretend that you’re fine when you’re not.”

Mira’s glare held for a few moments longer before she sighed. “It’s… a lot, you know. I’m figuring it out. I thought Hanharr was dead, it turns out Kreia… brought him back to life, or something? That’s something you can do with the Force?”

Tiniat made a ‘sort-of’ gesture. “Not exactly. But it’s something that has to be done while someone’s still clinging to life, and Kreia is definitely dead now, so…”

Kreia is definitely dead. She’d held her while she died. Heard her last words. Felt her leave this world.

“Woah, hey now.” Mira steered her into a plastic chair. “See, this is why I wanted to keep it to myself.”

“Just got dizzy,” Tiniat murmured. “It’s- It’s not something that can be done again. And Malachor is well and truly dust now, so it’s not like someone can go after his body. He’s gone.”

“I know that,” Mira said impatiently. “And now he might be able to finally get some peace, and stop inflicting his suffering on every human who crosses his path. But…“

“But he was important to you,” Tiniat said. “In a fucked up way. He’s still a part of your life that’s gone now.”

“It’s a good thing,” Mira said. “Well. It’ll be a good thing.”

Tiniat wished she could be so confident. Kreia was gone. But she just nodded. 

“I noticed,” Mira said, “That you didn’t ask about Atton.”

“I figured he could tell me himself,” Tiniat said dryly, and gestured at the refresher door. It opened. Across the hall, Atton jumped. 

“Hey! You’re up,” he said. Mira snorted. 

“I’m up,” Tiniat replied, standing, and looked him over- much like he was looking her over. He looked tired. He hadn’t shaved in a day or two, which was usual with him, but something in the way he stood….

“The doctor sent me,” Atton said, dutiful errand boy that he pretended to be, not at all like he heard she was awake and came running as fast as he could. “I think she said something along the lines of ‘take it easy,’ but you’re going to ignore all that anyway, so I won’t waste my breath. Also, the Queen wanted you to know that the Hawk is being repaired, we’re free to stay as long as we like since we’re her personal heroes, thanks again for saving her life, the usual.”

“She spoke to you?”

Atton rolled his eyes. “Oh, no, not me. She spoke to a messenger, who spoke to another messenger, who spoke to me. From the sound of things, Iziz is still pretty rough. Not everyone loyal to Vaklu backed down once he was executed, and there’s still all the beasts in the streets- a battle over Telos didn’t exactly help all of them get moving out of here.”

“Ugh,” Mira said. “And the streets were already messy enough before the civil war. I’m glad we’re sticking to the palace.”

Tiniat opened her mouth to remind Mira that she hadn’t been able to practice the beast trick on an actual creature yet and this would be excellent experience. Mira’s glare pushed the words back down her throat. Another time.

“Is there anything to eat in this place?” Tiniat asked, instead. 

#my fic #snippet #tiniat soleria #kotor 2 #kotor #kotor fic

[whumpbby]

whumpbby 😭 commiserate with meeee. Idk if you've seen this post that's kind of blowing up about how fandoms are racist in general because they always focus on white characters and ships over the POC ones and to be real, it's not that I disagree. I do agree, very much so, though I think the issue is way more nuanced. But I figure hey it's still a relevant post and I go to reblog and then I realise it's written by a goddamn anti 😭😭😭 now I have hIVES gdi the op is in the notes screeching at people for being kylo ren fans and telling them to die and I'm just So Over This, we can't have anything nice

The worst part is that this post got onto my dash from the blog writingwithcolour who gives really good and multi-cultural advice on writing POC and while I see why they'd reblog it, my automatic EWW UGH reaction to finding an anti's post unfiltered on my dash is now putting serious sus on that blog :((( I'm just here to whine at you dats all but yeah antis are ruining so many good things about Fandom I can't even feel good about a relevant post anymore

*commiserating*

I feel ya, the fandom that is supposed to be the place of fun and unwinding being overridden with self-congratulory bullshit is a pet peeve of mine too. 

It is hard to find a balance between ‘ yeah, these issues exist’ and a ‘no, I am not here for that’ and not end up on this or that pitchfork, because we seem to be living in the time and social sphere where daring not to be concerned about the current issue of the week for even one second of the day marks one as a degenerate/racist/sexist/take your pick. It’s the wart marking the witch. And you are expected to prove your creed constantly, to preform to someone’s satisfaction until they deem to absolve you. 

If she floats, she’s a witch. If she drowns, she’s not, but well, the point is moot.  

It’s tiring, god, it’s exhausting - when already so many things are exhausting in the real life we have outside of these fandom spaces. And it gets doubly exhausting once you realise that - it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. No graph showing how many poc characters are NOT being shipped, no list of authors who ship ‘problematic’ ships, not one anon message trying to shame someone into not doing something - NONE OF IT MATTERS. 

NONE. Not one grain of good has come out of it. 

People see a problem and get invested and sometimes the problem is real and needs solution - and very often we are so small and have no resources and we can’t help in any realistic way. So, brain comes up with ways of helping us feel less shitty about out own helplessness and we invest ourselves so deeply into them, because what else can we do? That post, that blog, that call to arms, that callout, that anon message - we are doping something! We are helping! 

We are doing something, right? Right??? 

It’s so hard to admit that not one child was saved by the witch hunt on Ao3, not one minor was saved form grooming by attacking fanfic writers on whatever platform, not one person was saved form abuse by attacking trans people, not one person was helped by the war on the “Q-word”, not one goddamn soul was helped by the anti-bullshit. All it results in is misery and pain and harassment, but hey, at least someone is reacting! - and, hey, these are ‘effects’, right? And we’re after ‘effects’ because at least we are doing something if it has effects, right??  

These movements, these tactics, these people - they are nothing else than kids stomping their feet in their respective kiddy pools and thinking the waves they create change the currents of the real ocean. They imagine they are stopping a tsunami hitting some foreign land when all they do is splash on the people who just want to wet their feet in the same pool. 

Listen. A story. 

In my town there's this guy who will randomly appear in the market square and shout about God and Salvation and how everyone sucks. This recent Christmas he positioned himself right opposite of the charity orchestra and was a nuisance to anyone who wanted to stop for a moment and listen to them playing Christmas carols - to have in this depressing and cold, and busy end of a crap year we have all survived, a moment of respite, of Christmas cheer, a crumb of relief. Usually the orchestra is surrounded by people and kids throwing coins into their box, by folk recording on their phones, etc. No, this this year no one could enjoy a moment of peace, because a nutcase behind tried to overshout the orchestra, so people kept walking, intimidated and annoyed. 

Out of frustration and, I admit, curiosity, I walked up to him and asked why won’t he move over to let the orchestra play - what I got was more shouting. Because listening to Christmas carols was hypocritical without the sprinkling of despair over the state of humanity and Our Sins. 

He wouldn’t engage, he wouldn't speak to me like a person - I was standing two feet form the guy and he was yelling at the top of his lungs so everyone heard him. I was raised Catholic in one of the most Catholic damn countries in Europe, I know what God is about. But, you see, it didn’t matter to the guy, what mattered was that he needed to be heard yelling. This was his attempt at converting people - by yelling in their faces. He was doing something and feeling better for it! 

This  guy was the anti-movement in a real, compact, one-dude pill. Any anti-movement you can think of that picks a flag and then starts to screech in its shadow, because it makes them feel better about themselves. 

As for Kylo...

The hilarious hate towards Kylo fucking Ren of all people? Towards people who ship him? All that misplaced anger at the crappy treatment of the poc actors by Disney and predominantly male ‘fans’ of Star Wars?? Let that sink in - white dudes with money made decisions, white dudes on the internet ganged up on an actress - but nah, dude, the women who write fanfic are the culprit!  We can’t gang up on Disney and we are too afraid of the dudes on Reddit and 4chan, but these girls writing Reylo porn are there and accessible and not scary and not male! We can take them on!  

How is it not hilarious? How?? This level of misdirection and confusion, being so intimidated by the insurmountable task of being angry at a corporation that makes their merch (that they are still buying, because hey, a fan is a fan, who doesn’t want a baby Yoda t-shirt?) that all they can do is to spin around and bite the ankles of the person standing behind them? How is this not hilariously morally bankrupt and so pitifully, tragically human? 

Let the block button become your shield, another good blog will come, don't regret blocking ones you are not sure about. You’re here to relax, you don’t deserve this kind of stress. They will keep screeching, but you keep walking, friend, the orchestra is still there playing your tune, enjoy it. 

#dicks horse #fantasticalmemories

[somerpmemes]

The Umbrella Academy S1 Starters

Change as needed.

“There is no mystery here. Nothing to avenge, nothing to solve, nothing like that.”

“You know, after all these years I find it strangely comforting.”

“Same thing that always happens. I made a wish and it came true and I couldn’t take it back.”

“Well, sober up this is important!”

“Guns are for sissies. Real men throw knives.”

“I’m afraid there’s just nothing special about you.”

“Eternal peace is probably overrated.”

“You never know when to stop, do you?”

“Best funeral ever.”

“I feel like we should try and stop him but then again, I also just kinda want to see what happens.”

“You should have locks on your windows.”

“Damnit, I’m sick of this cost-cutting bullshit!”

“Never been after one of our own before.”

“I didn’t think it was possible to miss a person this much.”

“Sorry I left without saying goodbye.”

“Maybe you were right to be dismissive.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good sleep.”

“What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain.”

“You know what? You’re probably better off here.”

“You don’t get to blame your problems on anyone but yourself.”

“Yeah, can I get that twenty bucks, like, now or what?”

“I could smell it was you.”

“If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead.”

“I have never been a prodigy at anything.”

“This city’s really going to shit, huh?”

“God, please un-remember that.”

“At a certain point, it’s not about practice, it’s whether you’ve got something special. And maybe you just… don’t.”

“You don’t find it interesting how ordinary people live their lives?”

“Sometimes there’s beauty in the mundane, you know?”

“You have no concept of what’s important.”

“How come you’re so light and fluffy?”

“Where’s my knives?!”

“It’s okay, if you hated him. He was terrible to you.”

“Around me, you don’t have to apologize just for existing.”

“I don’t think my dad ever forgave me for being born.”

“I mean, nobody tells me shit.”

“Who’d you piss off this time?”

“Well it looks like you got what you wanted, one way or another.”

“I barely remember what we had for breakfast at this point.”

“Torturing works best when you know what you’re torturing.”

“I hate sprinkles.”

“You stayed because you couldn’t let go of the way things used to be.”

“You know I hate code names.”

“There’s no such thing as good guys or bad guys, there’s just people.”

“Oh, so this is you suffering in silence.”

“I’ve been around long enough to know that when something seems too perfect, it’s usually anything but.”

“The future doesn’t come with any guarantees, you want something in life, you’ve gotta go for it.”

“You’re not killing anyone today.”

“I know you’re still a good person, ___.”

“For the first time, someone thinks I’m special.”

“What’s meant to be, is meant to be.”

“I’m not looking for happy.”

“We’re all looking for happy.”

“No one’s ever believed in me like this.”

“Please don’t bother. And I won’t either.”

“I have been left out of everything for as long as I can remember.”

“If I’m gonna die, I need to know I killed those bastards first.”

“I can’t believe I was stupid enough to go back there.”

“I need someone to take away my options.”

“I must have utter silence in order to complete this task.”

“Can I ask you a cuckoo bananas question?”

“I guess I’m just tired of this being told what to do, where to go.”

“Our only choice is to do what they say. One way or another, they always get you.”

“If I see a boner, I’m out.”

“Everyone I like is already dead.”

“You couldn’t disappoint me if you tried.”

“Ordinary is not a word I’d use to describe you.”

“Could you just for one second turn off that cynical brain of yours?”

“Yeah, a part of me wishes I didn’t know.”

“All the “what ifs?” start to haunt you, you know?”

“I think you’re the only person who really knows who I am and still likes me anyway.”

“We both know that even you have a limit.”

“Chasing something unattainable is a recipe for a lifetime of disappointment and resentment.”

“We didn’t choose this life, we’re just living it.”

“Sometimes what you want’s right in front of you. By the time you realize it, it’s too late.”

“Yell if you’re, you know, in trouble.”

“You spend your whole life trying to forget about the crap you went through as a kid, you know? And then the second you step back in, you feel just as insignificant.”

“Ugh, sobriety isn’t easy.”

“I’ve never felt so alive. But I’m so thirsty!”

“You can’t run away from this, ___.”

“That was foolish of me. I should have burned it all.”

“We get to visit exotic places, meet new people, and then kill ‘em.”

“You watched me search for answers and said nothing.”

“There’s always a choice.”

“This stuff that’s happening to you, it’s scary.”

“Why would anyone do that to a perfectly good doughnut?”

“Don’t answer, that was purely rhetorical.”

“___, I promise you no matter what I’ll be back for you. Come Hell or high water.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not threatened now.”

“Ask me again and I’ll burn you with the cigarette lighter.”

“I love needles.”

“I liked the sober you.”

“I wanna be numb again.”

“Life isn’t supposed to be easy. Life is hard. Bad things happen, good people die.”

“You know, I’m tired of seeing you wallow in self defeat.”

“I’m only trying to protect you.”

“Let’s get out of here before the cops come.”

“Don’t forget I’m not the only killer in this room.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“It’s not difficult to accept, it’s impossible to accept!”

“They’re still afraid of us. Even after all these years.”

“Did you know?”

“I do think an explanation of sorts is owing.”

“Is there any way to silence the voice in your head that screams out to be the center of attention?”

“Alright, I’ll be the first to admit, things really got out of hand.”

“You willing to throw away all that goodwill?”

“And here I thought you were the smart one.”

“Everyone has a past.”

“Do you hear gunfire?”

“So it’s a suicide mission.”

#tua #rp #rp starters #starters #sentence starters #sentence starter meme

[sukirichi]

read the new chapters and aAAACKKKKK BESTIE???

y/n - ‘I was born to make everyone’s life a living hell’ maam this LINE?! JAW DROPPED, TIME STOPPED being insecure all her life and wanting to live up to the expectations to her dad just to have that sliver of attention from him, that sentence gives us a glimpse on how little she felt despite being accomplished, rather successful actually because she always cleans her boss’ mess have a lot of baggage to unpack. and when the secret was confirmed, her anger rejects all of the entity that ties with her past because both her parents deprived her for the things she was supposed to have– becoming greedy to fulfill those. then eventually, somehow, going back to her roots aka being humble after having the talk with her dad. As most of her insecurity started because of him and how she had to be the bigger person for his other family, clearing out the misunderstanding between them brought a sense of peace  while she’s settling in the restless turn of events.

and with our main man gojo, this guy, it is not wise to- 😤😤 how can you say you’re engaged after doing the body tango huh? esp when you said you want y/n to be your wife? oh gee and the revelation of his past relationship with mia and how he sees her in y/n is so fucked up. can’t help but think that satoru wanting to marry and be this lovey-dovey with y/n is just him reliving the moments that mia never gave him in the past. and y/n accepting that their current relationship is based on how they’re filling up the cracks in their needs and settling for the sake of familiarity. imagine how deep in love our girl is to keep satoru in her life 💔 im still in it for the second lead agenda

needless to say, everyone here needs a therapy so they can get their shit straight together 🤧🤧 (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~ ┻━┻

BUT i know you mentioned this many times but laywer! naoya all poised and in his best behavior while helping y/n in her new situation has my heart go💕💕 winning lots of cases and is known in his field, he proved that he is both beauty and brains. and the pen spin??? man be pulling those fast spins either to distract or impress the person he is talking to flashing those perfect white pearls wtf now i can’t get that out of my head naoya brain rot 🥵🥵 also celebrity chef! sukuna in charge of all those delicious, exquisite cuisines? imma make myself broke just to taste his masterpiece🥲 ooh but how about him being a michelin star chef and owning a michelin-starred resto?! no doubt, left and right you see this man appearing on some high food magazine on the cover 😊😊 oh oh i also saw that supermodel! choso?? also his face is plastered on magazines AND luxurious advertisements ex. shibuya crossing! where most people be drenched in his glorious presence yea weird shibuya arc ref pls kill me and everyone talks how handsome and intimidating he is while he just have a rbf and only the closest people in his life get to see him drop that front 😌😌

with that in mind, imagine supermodel! choso being a godfather to the baby of y/n?? he would go soft immediately at the sight of the child and would probably love giving lots of branded clothes it will be good enough for more than a year ☺️🥲😭

oh and there is this one scene in chp7 that reminded me of the recent korean movie i watched i dont wanna say it in case you wanna check it out its called sweet and sour and oh god idk why but watching it, mind keeps on prompting your fics 😬😬 maybe bcos i some of your fic always had med related topics and the main actress role there is a nurse. i remember that you’re on your clinic training so maybe thats why 😳oohh pls don’t forget to take breaks and be safe heart and oh ur a psych major too? oh wow hi ig in relation to one actress in the sweet and sour fic, she was also in a kdrama the heirs- which was popular at the time with it being packed with some solid household actors and actresses. sky castle tho, ig it relates to the theme of reckless more because its mostly how parents from the upper class will mindlessly destroy someone’s life to attain their materialistic desires  🤧🙂

this fic, easily in my top 3 ‘heart belongs to who it dictates’ so many twists, so much drama and ANGST! YES BESTIE GIMME THOSE ANGST 🥲😌

i hope you’re doing well nowadays :’)) we need to find gege the best chiropractor to take care of his back, so good that it’ll make naoya respawn to life 🙂 suki i don’t think i’ll get tired of saying how much i love your work that it feels illegal im reading it for free 💔. i don’t really have much to offer, but im wishing you good health and success in your life :’)) aah i’ve mentioned this already but take care always 💕💖😊🥰

- 🍳

read the new chapters and aAAACKKKKK BESTIE???

y/n - ‘I was born to make everyone’s life a living hell’ maam this LINE?! JAW DROPPED, TIME STOPPED being insecure all her life and wanting to live up to the expectations to her dad just to have that sliver of attention from him, that sentence gives us a glimpse on how little she felt despite being accomplished, rather successful actually because she always cleans her boss’ mess have a lot of baggage to unpack. and when the secret was confirmed, her anger rejects all of the entity that ties with her past because both her parents deprived her for the things she was supposed to have– becoming greedy to fulfill those. then eventually, somehow, going back to her roots aka being humble after having the talk with her dad. As most of her insecurity started because of him and how she had to be the bigger person for his other family, clearing out the misunderstanding between them brought a sense of peace  while she’s settling in the restless turn of events.

and with our main man gojo, this guy, it is not wise to- 😤😤 how can you say you’re engaged after doing the body tango huh? esp when you said you want y/n to be your wife? oh gee and the revelation of his past relationship with mia and how he sees her in y/n is so fucked up. can’t help but think that satoru wanting to marry and be this lovey-dovey with y/n is just him reliving the moments that mia never gave him in the past. and y/n accepting that their current relationship is based on how they’re filling up the cracks in their needs and settling for the sake of familiarity. imagine how deep in love our girl is to keep satoru in her life 💔 im still in it for the second lead agenda

needless to say, everyone here needs a therapy so they can get their shit straight together 🤧🤧 (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~ ┻━┻

BUT i know you mentioned this many times but laywer! naoya all poised and in his best behavior while helping y/n in her new situation has my heart go💕💕 winning lots of cases and is known in his field, he proved that he is both beauty and brains. and the pen spin??? man be pulling those fast spins either to distract or impress the person he is talking to flashing those perfect white pearls wtf now i can’t get that out of my head naoya brain rot 🥵🥵 also celebrity chef! sukuna in charge of all those delicious, exquisite cuisines? imma make myself broke just to taste his masterpiece🥲 ooh but how about him being a michelin star chef and owning a michelin-starred resto?! no doubt, left and right you see this man appearing on some high food magazine on the cover 😊😊 oh oh i also saw that supermodel! choso?? also his face is plastered on magazines AND luxurious advertisements ex. shibuya crossing! where most people be drenched in his glorious presence yea weird shibuya arc ref pls kill me and everyone talks how handsome and intimidating he is while he just have a rbf and only the closest people in his life get to see him drop that front 😌😌

with that in mind, imagine supermodel! choso being a godfather to the baby of y/n?? he would go soft immediately at the sight of the child and would probably love giving lots of branded clothes it will be good enough for more than a year ☺️🥲😭

oh and there is this one scene in chp7 that reminded me of the recent korean movie i watched i dont wanna say it in case you wanna check it out its called sweet and sour and oh god idk why but watching it, mind keeps on prompting your fics 😬😬 maybe bcos i some of your fic always had med related topics and the main actress role there is a nurse. i remember that you’re on your clinic training so maybe thats why 😳oohh pls don’t forget to take breaks and be safe heart and oh ur a psych major too? oh wow hi ig in relation to one actress in the sweet and sour fic, she was also in a kdrama the heirs- which was popular at the time with it being packed with some solid household actors and actresses. sky castle tho, ig it relates to the theme of reckless more because its mostly how parents from the upper class will mindlessly destroy someone’s life to attain their materialistic desires  🤧🙂

this fic, easily in my top 3 ‘heart belongs to who it dictates’ so many twists, so much drama and ANGST! YES BESTIE GIMME THOSE ANGST 🥲😌

i hope you’re doing well nowadays :’)) we need to find gege the best chiropractor to take care of his back, so good that it’ll make naoya respawn to life 🙂 suki i don’t think i’ll get tired of saying how much i love your work that it feels illegal im reading it for free 💔. i don’t really have much to offer, but im wishing you good health and success in your life :’)) aah i’ve mentioned this already but take care always 💕💖😊🥰

- 🍳

y/n becomes a real baddie when she’s pissed off 😫

hmm y/n wasn’t really working hard for her dad’s attention, it was more like she felt so left out and unwanted (she feels unwanted wherever she goes) that she just decided to pack up and support them from afar bcos to her, she’s so alienated in her dad’s family that she felt like she had to work hard to earn a spot in their table. she knows she’s the outsider but she wants to feel like she can be part of them, that she is also a child deserving of love and care, but becos her stepmom focused more on her actual kids and her own dad was too busy with his new family now, it made y/n feel that she had to do something to be worthy of that.

that’s why most of the money she made working in tokyo was still wired to her family; she put her brothers in school and supported them, all because she hoped it would make them accept her more. now, things are different because she finally found her biological family, but even if valeria and co. still don’t want her, y/n is now more focusing on building something that’s truly hers that no one can take away. yes yes, she did become greedy, but more for power than of acceptance. she got to a point she doesn’t care as much vying for her parents’ approval and now thinks her luxury gives her comfort; only because at least she has that much. like she said in the latest chapter, happiness was not what she needed, it was stability and money - all things she lacked before.

and yea she did go back to her roots! all of her issues started with her dad anyway but that part is slowly patching up 🩹💔 oooh actually your theory is right bestie 🧐 gojo found y/n interesting bcos she reminded him of mia, so the more she pushed him away, the more he’s like wait, i’ve been here before, let’s not repeat past mistakes but i can do better now. on the part where gojo talked to mia while she was asleep, notice how he said he’s given a second chance to do better now, all because he couldn’t do them with mia but he could with y/n.

ohhh actually y/n was the one who established that ‘fulfilling mutual need and settling for familiarity instead of being lonely’ type of relationship. gojo avoided her for weeks and he’s pretty settled in keeping his distance, but she was the one who sought him out. deep down, y/n is afraid if she doesn’t at least use him as an anchor to her more humble roots, then she might spiral out of control and end up like valeria, thus using him as a ‘distraction’ but in reality, she needs his comfort to be grounded.

SECOND LEAD AGENDA OMG LETS GOOO 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ geto the fine fine option.

NO BESTIE MOMENT U MENTIONED LAWYER NAOYA I JUST KNEW I WAS GONNA SCREAM. okay but lawyer! naoya is so fine, i love his character so much bcos he’s a pure bean. originally, i was gonna make him an antagonist but i found he had more potential as a good, supportive character. HIS PEN SPIN HELPPP WHY COULDN’T HE JUST BEEN OUR BABY DADDY 😫 he pulls them fast spins bcos he’s nervous btw HAHAHAHA y/n can be quite intimidating and lawyer! naoya is sometimes too precious.

celebrity chef! sukuna is MEAN! he was pictured after gordon ramsay so lmao. omgggg sukuna being famous not only for his food but also his handsomeness 😳 he gets so cocky over how no one can get in his level while popping a battle of champagne, listening to ‘careless whisper’ while dancing to his reflection in the mirror 😤

also yoo supermodel! choso is THE hot shit 🥵 he’s so famous his schedule is packed for an entire year and a half and those are just for very selected brands and designers! ugh imagine going to work on the subway when you see supermodel! choso with rbf posing sexily and you swoon because he’s so sexy. plot twist that choso doesn’t know how to drive bcos as a kamo family member, they grew up with drivers taking them to and fro, so when his driver got sick and everyone else was busy, supermodel choso takes the subway himself and hides behind a face mask and cap while still wearing extravagant clothes that makes him stand out more. he does not have ‘subtle’ on his book at all.

and yeah people say he’s intimidating but its more his height and build + rbf! in reality, he’s just as soft and sweet as naoya, but both of them go into protective mode when someone they care about is being crapped on. and boy when they DO get into “what did you just say?” mode, better run away 🏃🏻‍♀️ supermodel! choso is also an heir to the kamo empire though not after the business, but he still has enough power to take you down in a second.

meanwhile, lawyer! naoya didn’t become this successful without being so savage yet composed he makes you question your entire existence before he drags you to court. lawyer! naoya is so scarily convincing that he can make you plead guilty even tho you did nothing wrong 💀

aaaah omg supermodel! choso LOVES babies actually! as the eldest child who looked after his brothers bcos the kamo parents are always away for work, being a father figure is so natural to him. i can picture him being the one who cries harder than gojo if the baby is born bcos he’s so excited, then reads poems to the baby before sighing that childbirth is such a beautiful thing 🥺

omg i know sweet n sour, the actresses are one of my faves tho i haven’t watched it yet! oooh they’re a nurse? i didn’t know that 🧐 i actually finish my short training in a week so i’ll be heading on to heavy majoring in psychology! wait bestie are YOU also a psych major 😳💕 oh and i see i see, sky castle *jots that down for future references* reckless actually has lots of significance in terms of the parents’ roles so i’m excited to see that! and aww thank you so much, can’t believe i made it in someone’s top three 🥺💕

HELP AHSKWKW i’m gonna call the best chiropractor in the world and send them gege’s way, i’ll cry a river if that’s what it takes to bring my boo back to life 😭 and noo baby the support already means a lot to me, i’m just happy to indulge in my hobbies and share it wih you all so thank you very much for everything 🥺 please take care of yourself too n have a nice day!! kith MWAH 💕

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series: reckless #jjk: manga spoilers #anon:🍳

[miss-smrxtiee]

“I’m sorry” from prompt list!!

-Truly Sorry-

prompt #13 “I’m sorry...”

Warnings: Swearing. TINY amount of angst

Summary: Eliana and Ethan get in a heated argument that causes uncertainty to grow in their relationships. How will Ethan make it up to her? - ONE SHOT

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long! I planned to have this posted 2 days ago but I’ve had some things come up in my personal life that caused me to hit the brakes a little on this but it’s finally here! Please like and reblog if you enjoy! It’s greatly appreciated💖 -S

Thank you @aylamwrites for the ask! YOU A QUEEN EVERYONE GO CHECK HER OUT! 💖🙌🏻 (Her OH fics are everything)

❤️-prompt list-❤️ (ask me!)

💖-full masterlist-💖

——————————-

Ethan’s POV

Guilt spreads through Ethan’s chest... Why am I so stupid! He looks across the room, his eyes settle on pictures of both him and his lover...

Why do I always push her away like that?

10 minutes before...

Eliana and Ethan were both in a very heated argument... I mean they have fights but this one was bad...

“You should calm down! It’s not a huge deal listen, I’m sorry Okay? You win.” Ethan says to a fuming Eliana.

“You’re not getting away like that! I’ve been trying so fucking hard these past few years to make you respect me! And one single thing changes that view and I have to listen to your lectures and all the stuff you hate about me! I’m sick of it!” Eliana rants. Ethan’s eyes widen. He can practically sees the pure anger rolling off of her.

Crap. She’s really getting mad about this... I need to calm her down so it doesn’t go overboard.

“E... I’m really sorry I haven’t respected you... I know I’ve been a dick these past few weeks but if you give me a chance I can make it up to y-“ Eliana cuts him off with her hand.

“That’s what you said before... I’m not sure if I can believe it again.” She sighed “Listen. I need some time to think... I know it’s sudden but I’m just gonna get a hotel for a while and process things. It just seems logical right now.”

Ethan’s eyes widen at her words. She wouldn’t just leave.. right? He looks at her as she packs a small suitcase of her clothes and toiletries.

Why am I so stupid...she shouldn’t leave me... god I’m such an ass...

After a few minutes she walks back into the living room with her bags. He frowns at her. “How long until you come back.” Ethan hoped she would realize she doesn’t need to leave. And that he loves her more then anything.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Awhile... I’m not to sure but if I find out I’ll text you. She said looking away from him. Not wanting to make eye contact

Shit.shit.shit.shit. I’m so stupid! Why do I always push her away?! Do something you idiot!

“... please don’t leave. I love you and I would do anything to make it up to you.” Ethan pleaded.

“I’m sorry Ethan, I need this space before we ruin this beyond repair. I’m doing this because I love you too.” Eliana looked genuine and Ethan just hung his head, not looking at her.

“..... ok, I love you. Please be safe. And text me.” He said. Eliana nodded and walked out, looking behind her shoulder as she turned down the hall.

Guilt spreads through Ethan’s chest... Why am I so stupid! He looks across the room, his eyes settle on pictures of both him and his lover...

Why do I push her like that...?

————————

Eliana’s POV

As soon as she got into her car her tears started to spill down her cheeks. I can’t live without him. I have to fix this and taking a break is the only way. She thought to herself.

Eliana drives around aimlessly trying to clear her head. After awhile she gets checked into her hotel and just plops down on her bed with a groan.

The room wasn’t anything fancy, it’s the last thing she could get for a last minute reservation. It had a mini fridge for food, a nice sized bathroom with a walk in shower. Their was one bed that took up most of the room.

I should unpack but...

I need to go to bed... she hesitates to text Ethan and tell him she was at the hotel. It’s just gonna be awkward, he can wait.

After she brushes her teeth and changes into her pajamas, she gets nestled into bed, her mind drifts off wishing Ethan’s arms were around her. She missed his little snores and the rise and fall of his chest. It was comforting. I miss that grump...

She smiled to herself and repeated the phrase.. I miss that grump. She stayed up thinking for awhile but ultimately drifted off into a deep sleep, still missing his warmth.

Ethan’s POV

Part of him was hoping that she would run right back through that door and fling her arms around his neck and tell him she didn’t mean it. But of course, she hasnt.

She has a right to be mad... but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Ethan stared at the door for what felt like hours after she left. He felt more upset then he has in a long time.

She’s gonna forgive me, right? He wasn’t sure how she felt. She had calmed down after his short apology that was still, even then, cut off.

Ethan’s hands ball into fists. I’m not giving up on us. I’m going to do everything I can’t to show her that I love that impeccable goofball...

He smiled to himself with a chuckle.

Impeccable goofball...

The next day...

Eliana’s POV.

She was pacing around her hotel room, not knowing what to do. I have to pull myself together... Eliana throws on a skirt and her blouse with her doctors coat on top. It was her signature outfit and she loved it to pieces.

She sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror after doing her daily morning routine. She reaches for her hairbrush in her bag...

More digging

Where is it?

More digging

Ugh it’s somewhere

More digging

Eliana sighs and flops down on her bed, think of the night she left their Condo...

Last night...

I have to do it for us... Eliana says to herself as she scrambled around to grab the things she needed to leave.

This is for the best right? Yeah of course...

Eliana continues thinking on the problem at hand that she forgets her hairbrush on the bathroom vanity...

Shit

I can’t go to work like this...

Eliana thinks back on all of the smaller stuff she left whilst in a hurry to leave and get her emotions together...

She groans as she throws her head back. I’m gonna have to get my ass out of bed and go over there to get my stuff.

She stares at her phone, then at the clock, and then back at her phone and she sighs while calling Doctor Emery about letting her take a half day and be in at 8:45 instead of 5:45. She grinned as she agreed and hung up to gather her things and walks to her car.

She pulls into a parking lot to text Ethan so it won’t be as awkward if she showed up without warning.

Ethan’s POV.

He hears a ding from his phone and he pirks up seeing Elianas contact name pop up.

Eliana: Hey, I forgot a few things last night... can I drop in for 5 minutes and grab them?

Ethan looked at the desk knowing it was her work day and he had the day off and nothing else to do... nothing else to do.... aha! Ethan’s brain sparked with a brilliant idea. He quickly replies.

Ethan: yeah of course, you have the key so feel free to come right in and grab your stuff.

Ethan hops off the couch and gets to work right away to prepare for her arrival.

Eliana’s POV.

She sighed looking at his text. It’s gonna be awkward... she turned on her car and plugged her GPS into her radio speaker and her mouth drops a little.

I really drove a lot last night. She thought as her GPS showed how far their condo was from the hotel.

She groaned and pulled out of the parking lot, beginning her drive.

5 minutes later...

10 minutes later...

15 minutes later...

“You have arrived at your destination” the voice rang out through her car. Sending a shiver down her spine at what’s to come.

She pulls in the driveway and sighs as she steps out of the car. She grabs her empty bag she was going to fill and walks towards the door.

She inserts the key into the lock and turns the doorknob counter clockwise until it pops open.

She walks in and and makes her way to the living room.

Oh my god...

Her breath hitched at the state of the living room. She noticed it was dark but didn’t think much of it at the time she was walking in. Wow. She said to herself at the sight Ethan had set up.

“Hello beautiful.” Ethan said wrapping his arms around her waist as she stared dumbfounded at him and their living space.

15 minutes before hand...

Ethan’s POV.

This has to be perfect. Ethan thought for the 10th time since his call ended and he got to work. He quickly put together a fort he and Eliana already had “blueprints” for and he knew it by heart. He smiles to himself as he put pillows on the floor of the fort, thinking what was to come. He grabbed as many of her favorite snacks and placed them into the cushioned area of his fort.

He then thought about his plan and what he was going to do to tell Eliana that he wasn’t going anywhere and she shouldn’t either. I love her and I want her to realize I would do anything for her. He said to himself.

He had a few minutes before she was supposed to arrive. He walked around, to nervous to focus his mind on anything else but her. He found himself picking up their old photos together. Most taken by Eliana much to his distaste at the time. He sighed picking up a photo of him and Eliana watching House M.D on amazon prime. The photo showed Eliana’s expert selfie skills as her middle and index finger pointed up into a “peace sign” whilst winking with a slight show of her tongue sticking out at the camera. He was glaring at her in the background, clearly trying to focus on the show and not her shenanigans. But was also clearly failing. He sighed at the memory.

Binge watching night...

“Smileeee!!” Eliana said while taking several selfies of the pair.

“Rook, you gotta focus on the show...” Ethan said motioning to the screen.

“Oh please, you just wanna watch so you can say that you figured out the case before anyone else did...” she said with a smirk.

He glared at her, capturing the moment Ethan now held in his hands...

Present...

Eliana’s POV.

She continued to gape at the set-up. Her gaze wondering the giant fort with the tv hidden under, her favorite snacks, even her favorite pillow was stuffed in her spot she usually took when they built this same fort.

She looked back at Ethan who was smiling warmly at her from around her shoulder, his hands where still rapped around her waist and he spun her around to face him.

“I love you.” He said, not even a moment later she crashed her lips to his and they’re faces smiling wide as they parted. She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her up and spun her around, eliciting a fit of giggles from her.

“E... I don’t even know how to tell you how sorry I am...” Ethan said while setting her down.

“Hey, I’m sorry too. I should’ve talked to you more about our situation and I might just be saying that because I practically died without you.” They both laughed and he took her hand and led her over to the fort and they both sat down. He handed her a glass of her favorite drink to ever exsist.... grape juice. She laughed as he handed her a wine glass of it. They clinked the glasses together.

“To new beggings?” He asked.

“To new beginnings.” She replied

“I have to be at work at 8:45 ya know.” She said raising her eyebrows while taking another sip “I can’t binge watch all day.” She said. “I also have to grab my stuff from the hotel...” She added shyly.

Ethan tapped his chin and quickly got up, placing his glass down and leaving her in confusion. “What are you doing?” She said before he disappeared around the corner. He looked back at her and smiled. “I’ll be back in a second.” She raised an eyebrow as he left. He returned a minute later with a grin on his face.

“What did you do?” She asked with her brows furrowed in confusion.

“I convinced Emery to give you the day off” he said proudly as she gaped at him. A second later her surprised face turns into a smile that matched his. “We can grab your thins tomorrow.” He added before kissing the top of her head.

“I can’t believe you convinced her, she never lets loose, I’ll also probably get beef from Zaid when I walk into work tomorrow..” they both laughed in usion.

(Switching To Ethan’s POV kinda randomly...)

Ethan grabs the remote as they both get comfortable in the fort and Ethan smiles as she snuggles into his side.

He tilts her head up to meet his gaze. “I’m going to spend this day very wisely my dearest.” He kiss her softly and she smiled up at him.

“And however are you going to do that?” She said with a teasing tone. He kissed her hand, looking into her eyes.

“I have many things planned, starting with rewatching that one episode of Hosue M.D and showing you how much I love you a little later.” He waggles his eyebrows and she snorts, leading them into even more laughter and she pops an M&M into her mouth. He knew it was her favorite and soon enough they where watching the same episode they where watching when she took the picture. But this time glaring didn’t even cross his mind, he only thought of how lucky he was to be with her in that moment. He made a vow to himself to do better and never to jepordize their relationship for no reason in the first place. He loved her now, her loved her before, and will continue to love her for many years of happiness to come. He thanked his lucky stars for the beautiful goddess laying in his arms. And couldn’t ask for anything more.

#choices stories you play #pixelberry #choices #playchoices #ethan ramsey #incorrect quotes #incorrect open heart

[liquorisce]

decisions, decisions pt 2

Fandom : Bleach 

Pairings : Ichihime (ft. some ichi x ishi bickering which we love around here)

Rating : T

Part 1

A/N: A few months ago I wrote a post-tybw-karakura-gang-finishes-high-school kinda thing called ‘decisions, decisions’  ft career choice discussions and orihime thinking of leaving town for uni. I wanted to write some more of that stuff and more ichihime pining obvs, so here it is. also i hate myself for not being able to participate in ichihimeweek2020, i suck, but anyway, ‘nuff with the nonsense, here’s the fic: 

(ps: pls be nice to me and like/reblog/comment or whatevs and tell me what u think, ily thx)

...

It’s five minutes to two, and Ichigo fought to stifle a yawn. The menacing five hundred pages of English grammar exercises in front of him wasn’t helping. 

“... Unbelievable,” he curses, slamming the book shut, much to the annoyance of his bespectacled classmate sitting across him. “Why the hell can’t they just teach us proper English in school?! I’m absolutely fucking positive that Honda-sensei didn’t mention more than three tenses in her class. And what kind of English lesson takes place in Japanese anyway?!” 

“... Quit your whining, Kurosaki. Some of us are trying to study here.” 

Ichigo fumed. By ‘some of us,’ Ishida was pointedly referring to just himself and the long-haired beauty sitting right opposite him, who, judging by her giggling at his outburst, welcomed his distraction. The same giggling that was contributing to the problem, contributing to Ichigo’s immense distraction since after dinner. 

“You’re not even human, Ishida,” he says dismissively. “Keigo’s literally made his bed on my dad’s couch, you can hear his goddamn snores, and Mizuiro left to ‘watch the stars’ with some new girl thirty minutes ago.” 

“You’re the one who invited us over to your place for an all-nighter group study session and you’re calling it quits before the sun is up? As expected, you’re weak.” 

He was right, this had been Ichigo’s idea, Yuzu had offered to make them dinner and his dad had plans tonight, so they were guaranteed some peace and quiet. Despite the noise and the chaos of their group, he missed hanging out with his friends. Ever since the school had given them voluntary study holidays for the upcoming University Entrance Exams, he didn’t get to see much of everyone, as they were either studying or training for competitions. Even today, Tatsuki and Chad left after dinner because they had to get up early for practice and they had decided they wouldn’t be giving the exams anyway. 

Ignoring Ishida’s pointed attempts to rile him up, he turns his attention to Orihime, who despite enjoying their banter, was more focused on the cram book in front of her.  

“Inoue, how are you still so motivated and so… awake?,” he asks, exasperated. “It’s almost 2 am! And you’ve been scribbling away furiously for the last thirty minutes. What are you even studying?”  

“Mouuu, you’re right. I’m not able to solve this proof anyway. Maybe I should call it a night?”

“Electromagnetism?” Ishida asks, skimming the title of the chapter, “Oh, I’ve done this one, I can explain this to you if you want.”  

He doesn’t know what irritates him more, Ishida’s nerdiness, or the soft look in his eyes as he unfailingly offers to help Orihime out, as he’d been doing a lot more of late, ever since they had started studying for the entrance exams together. In fact, it’d been this way this entire evening, starting from when he took a seat right next to her at the table as if he fucking belonged there, leaning over into her notebook, whenever she needed help, his arm casually brushing against her long, silken locks, her answering smile bright and incredibly close to him, and - Ichigo forces that thought to a halt because it has him gritting his teeth.  “... For God’s sake, give her a break,” - 

“... Shut up, Kurosaki, not everyone is applying to study *English* in University”- 

“And what exactly do you mean by that, asshole?” Ichigo snarls, with more venom than needed, because despite having had enough with Ishida’s condescending attitude towards his study choices, his recent behaviour had Ichigo prickling under his skin.  

“... Err, Kurosaki-kun…” Orihime starts, because she’s used to Ichigo and Ishida arguing (they’re just being affectionate, she always insists), there’s a glint in Ichigo’s eyes that’s different.

“... Exactly what I said, some of us don’t have the luxury of skipping the math and science exams,” - 

“Ah, Kurosaki-kun is right! I think my brain really can’t function anymore tonight,” Orihime declares loudly, inserting herself in between them. “Kurosaki-kun, I think I will leave now. Thank you so much for hosting us today.” She bows, her formality annoying him even more, but still throwing him off guard.

As always, Orihime’s pleasant demeanour diffused the rising tempers… somewhat. With one last glare, Ishida grudgingly agreed, “Then I guess I will take my leave as well.” 

Ichigo wants to be polite and say something like, “we should do this more often,” but he’s pissed off, and couldn’t wait to be rid of Ishida’s arrogant mug, so instead he offers, “Inoue, can I walk you home?” 

He doesn’t notice the faint red on her cheeks or the hesitation on her face, when she mumbles, “If it doesn’t inconvenience you.” And he’s torn again - tearing his eyes away from the pretty blush dusting her cheeks unable to stop himself from wondering bitterly if she’d let Ishida walk her home without much protest.

“Ishida lives in the other direction and it would be out of his way, so I don’t mind.” 

“Well then,” Ishida says, looking at her with more fondness than Ichigo would have liked, “Your eyes are all red and puffy. Sleep well. Don’t strain yourself, okay?”

“Yes sir,” she gives him the salute, “... good night!” 

“... And text me that you got home safe. This idiot can’t be trusted with anything,”- 

“... for fuck’s sake, just go home already!” 

“Kurosaki-kun,” she whispers, amused, as she watches Ishida walk away with a cheeky grin on his face, “you’ll wake the neighbours with your angry yelling.”

“Ah, you’re right,” he mumbles, rubbing his neck sheepishly, as their footsteps fall into place beside each other, “I’m sorry for all the swearing, I don’t know why I let Ishida under my skin so much.”   

“Hmmm,” she says, “It’s kind of cute, your bickering. If this were a yaoi novel, I’d totally ship it!” 

“... what the hell?!” His face is red, not just because the thought of him… and Ishida… Ew. But also because this is coming from Orihime, the last person he’d ever expect to engage in fantasies of this sort.

Giggling, she quickly switches to a more somber note. “You seemed... on edge today. Did something happen between the two of you?” 

He doesn’t know how to answer that question. Truth be told, he’s barely able to understand it himself. Sure, there was the usual trading of insults that took place between the two of them, but it was different this time. His whole demeanour just pissed him off. The way he always seemed to know what Orihime was asking, the way he was always able to help her, the familiar way he spoke to her… and the revelation that they’d been studying together for weeks now! 

“I don’t know,” he sighs, because he can’t even explain what he is feeling, let alone the reason behind it, “... I guess it’s just the stress of the exam.” 

“Ugh, tell me about it,” she whines, “I’m so thankful Ishida-kun is giving the same exams as me, and we can share practice questions and tips. I really wouldn’t be able to do this alone.” 

He ignores her mention of him and the tick in his jaw in reaction. “But I don’t get it. You’re giving almost all the exams. Why?!? There’s surely no need.” 

She blushes, ashamed, “I know it sounds stupid, but I really haven’t decided what I want to study in University. I figured if I just gave all of the exams, I would have more options to choose from.” 

“... Come on,” - 

“... And I will also prefer to go wherever I get a scholarship.”  

His fist clenches, “... So you’re definitely applying outside of Karakura?” 

“Yeah, although I’m not sure if there’s any point. It’s so difficult to aim for the National Universities, I’ll never get through. But the counselor says it’s worth a shot for the scholarship.”

“... I thought your aunt was helping you with tuition?” 

“... Only till high school. And I cannot burden her anymore. I’ve received so much from her already.” 

Ichigo doesn’t miss the way her voice wavers at the end, the guilt evident in her words. And he can’t stand it. “... Cheer up,” he says softly, playfully elbowing her. “You’re one of the smartest kids in school. Rank #2 after all the shit we went through last year! If anyone can do it you can.” 

“... You think so?” she mumbles, looking up at him, her insecurities heartbreaking in the grey of her eyes.  

Everything about her is so honest, it hurts him a little bit because his first thought is to say no, to talk her out of it, because the revelation is too sudden, too jarring - he can’t bear  the thought of this town without her. But he nods, smiles encouragingly, because that’s just way too selfish.

Shaking his head out of these thoughts, he asks, “... what was the counselor’s recommendation, again? As a career path?” 

“Ah, Hirata-san said maybe I should just follow my love for baking,” she says, smiling. 

“... and? Why don’t you consider that? You wouldn’t have to give these blasted exams then.” 

He liked the idea of this, now more than before, momentarily regretting his role in convincing her to apply to university. Orihime working in the local bakery, coming around his house everyday to share the leftovers, staying back for dinner maybe… 

“... but Kurosaki-kun was the one who said I wouldn’t be very good at it!” She pouts, “You said I’d make too many things in weird flavours and nobody would want to buy them.” 

Crap. He truly felt like waltzing back in time and whacking the past version of him for saying something like that.  Because if it were anyone else shitting all over Orihime’s dream, he’d have sent the punk flying. Where were all these feelings coming from anyway?! 

“... Shit, I didn’t mean,” - 

“... it’s okay, you’re right. And besides I can work there part-time through University. I was thinking…” She took a deep breath. “Well, actually, it was Ishida-kun’s idea. Maybe I could study to become a doctor? My strength is in healing people anyway…” 

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Well of course, he'd say that. He's going to study medicine too." And of course he would try to talk Orihime into it. The bastard had taken every opportunity to slither by her side - 

She laughs, a pretty sound, interrupting the profanity in his mind. "Yeah, he did say it would be nice to have some company… but I'm not sure." Sighing, she asks, "How did you decide on English Studies?" 

It wasn't too difficult for him honestly. It helped that he was fairly certain he didn't want to study math or science going forward. "... I like stories. And I want to be able to read and share stories in a global medium, so I decided to study English." 

He looks at her only to find her looking at him in fascination, "... Truth be told, I didn't spend too much time thinking about it. The career aptitude test returned similar results as well, so I just went with it." He shrugs, "I think I'll enjoy it. Let's see." 

"Ahh, you sound so optimistic about your studies, Kurosaki-kun. I wish I could be like that." 

They've reached her apartment building now and she turns to look at him, wistfully. He wishes he could do something for her, ease her anxieties in some way. 

"What about you?" He asks. 

She looks at him, puzzled.  

"... You've told me all about what everyone wants you to do. What do you want to do? I'm sure you must have some inkling." 

“... I,” she stops, opens her mouth again to say something, but nothing comes out. “... what I want… ah, you’ll probably think it’s silly.” She smiles wistfully to herself, because this wasn’t something that she’d ever admitted out loud.

He rolls his eyes, “... Try me.” Because she was many things, and yes, definitely silly sometimes in that unique way of hers, but he would never, could never, call her dreams silly. It’s a moment of realization for him, when he gets angry with the way she dismisses her own dreams that way, and he feels overwhelmed with the desire to pick them up, and keep them safe where no one can trample them, along with that spaced-out, wistful smile of hers. 

“Well,” she gulps, nervous, “I’ve never really thought too much about going to university. Sensei says I’m wasting my potential... but honestly, I think I’ll be happy working.” 

She looks at him unsurely, waiting for a reaction, an opinion, like everyone else. Everyone who’d been urging her to continue school and pursue all kinds of studies that she could possibly do, but… “I just - I want to build a simple life with someone I love. A family, maybe, someday.” 

It comes out so fast, she wishes she could grab the words and shove them back in her mouth. She chances a glance at him, her cheeks hot and furiously embarrassed. 

His expression is unreadable as he gazes down at her. She’s beautiful in the moonlight, he thinks, and it isn’t really a revelation to him, but the melancholy of her beauty is, the loneliness that he wishes he could extinguish as easily as he does hollows. “A simple life huh…” he murmurs. And he can almost picture it, Orihime, ten years from now, a child in her arms, a little boy maybe, with her wide brown eyes and - 

“Well, looks like you have planned it out better than any of us,” he manages hoarsely, unable to look her in the eye anymore. Not with all these… feelings simmering so close to the surface. And before he can help himself, “Do you already know who this mystery man is?” 

He’s come to realize how absolutely unequipped he is to hear the answer, but her unassuming statement has already taken residence inside him somehow, a burning sensation accompanying it. 

 His question jolts her into consciousness, and she notices they’re almost at her apartment. “Ah Kurosaki-kun is very curious today,” she laughs nervously, “only one confession per day! That’s the limit!” The fake cheer in her voice grates in her own ears but she hopes desperately it will steer him away because she’s this close to telling him sometimes, and this was one of those times. Especially in these rare moments when she feels an odd mixture of weakness and greed, where she wants to latch on to him and ask him to stay by her side, hoping selfishly that his kindness will make him say yes. But Orihime was practiced at hiding those feelings away. 

 “Is that right,” he smiles teasingly, albeit weakly, “... I didn’t know you were so mysterious, Inoue. Well goodnight, then.” 

And as he watches her climb up the stairs to her floor, and then lean over the railings to wave goodbye one more time, he can’t help but think of that image of her again, happy and in love and so beautifully fulfilled. And he thinks of the shadow of the man next to her, who will protect that dream and that smile, and his stomach clenches bitterly. 

“You deserve it,” he whispers to her retreating figure, “... You deserve all of it.”

- fin - 

A/N : The ending was cheesy, I KNOW UGH

#ichihime #kurosaki ichigo #inoue orihime #bleach #liquorisce fanfiction

[hailene]

𝚁𝚊𝚠  𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚎

𝚁𝚊𝚠 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚎| 02

𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

(𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮– ���𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘒𝘪𝘥𝘴, 𝘕𝘊𝘛, 𝘉𝘛𝘚, 𝘛𝘸𝘪𝘤𝘦, (𝘎)𝘐-𝘋𝘓𝘌, 𝘔𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘰, 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘬)

Genre: angst, racing!au, college!au, gang!au, underworld!au

Word count: 2.5K

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

00|  01|  02|  03|  04|  05|  06|  07|  08|  09|  10|  tba

People were fighting. My eyes couldn't count how many, nor could they recognize anybody besides the boy whom I had just met in the kitchen. A damaged car was abandoned on the alley way and somebody was leaning on its hood as if they were hurt. I couldn't believe my eyes. My brain was trying to explain the situation to my own self, I knew street fights existed, I knew Seungcheol was likely to be part of this kind of world. So why am I surprised? Why can't I move my body and leave? Why am I frozen in place?

I feel somebody pulling me inside the house and shutting the front door closed, locking it afterwards.

"Usually, when people are fighting, one should find a shelter for themselves," Joshua says as I turn around to face the boy.

His dreamy figure couldn't be wiped off, not even by the glint of worry and seriousness crossing his face. I frown, surprised that he is not bothered by my actions. Because I sure was.

"Sorry," I say and he shakes his head.

"You haven't wronged me with anything, you just need to be careful," he says. "I think it's better if we stay together with Liv and S.Coups upstairs, is that fine?"

What are the others doing? I want to ask.

Instead, I simply nod and follow him.

Half an hour later, silence had settled in. Seungcheol was texting somebody, his body leaning to the wall in front of the king-sized bed that Yuri and I were laying on. I was staring at the ceiling. She was surfing the online news, searching for something which only she knew what it was.

Joshua was reading a book near the lamp on the bedside table. He looked peaceful, almost annoyingly peaceful, considering the loud and tensioned silence that was floating in the air.

"It was NCT this time," Seungcheol says under his breath, his eyebrows furrowed.

"It must have been Momo's ties again..." Yuri sighs, still surfing on the internet.

Seungcheol sighs, putting his phone in the pocket of his sweatpants. It was interesting to watch them talking about something which I couldn't understand. I wasn't going to ask because I felt like sooner or later, I would find out what they are talking about anyway.

"If they're this obsessed with taking Mingyu out, what will happen with Jeonghan and THE8?" My sister asks silently, but nobody answers.

"Don't you think it would be nice if you told Emma what you're talking about as well?" Joshua casually says while flipping a page.

Yuri and Seungcheol look at him surprised, as if they forgot about his presence. Shortly after, the boy clears his throat, looking at my sister as if begging her to save the situation.

"The less she knows, the-..."

"If you're gonna say the safer she is, then I really want to disagree with you," Joshua say closing his book and taking off his silver-rimmed glasses. "She's not safe anyway and I really believe knowledge is power in this case."

"She will know all of it, just not now," my sisters insists, making me even more curious.

Joshua sighs and moves his gaze towards me sympathetically.

"Hoshi and Jun are trained fighters, that's why they rushed in the middle of the chaos," he explains lightly. "One of our friends, Mingyu, was driving to this house but apparently some other not-nice people were following him. It's a high probability they had the same reason as the ones who crashed Seungcheol's car."

I nod, trying to comprehend everything that was going on. Especially because Joshua has just told me that the boy I met an hour ago in the kitchen is a trained fighter. What is that even supposed to mean?

"Do you... have snipers and stuff?" I ask, half jokingly, half genuinely curious.

Joshua chuckles.

"None of that," he smiles. "We do have people responsible for certain things, but you'll meet them when the time will come."

I nod, feeling relieved that they weren't an actual mafia carrying guns around. Despite the fact that they weren't that far away either. Yuri-ah... what did you get me tangled in?

"How many people are there?" I ask Joshua, who was watching me as if he wanted to see how I react to the new information.

"Thirteen," he replies casually and my eyes widen.

Holy crap that's a lot of people.

"Do all of you live here?" I ask confused.

"None of them lives here! This is my house!" Joshua says in a higher pitch and I hear Seungcheol snickering in the background. "But it's the largest space that any of us owns so they oftentimes come here, with or without asking!"

I smile, knowing that it must be annoying to have twelve other people come to your house whenever they feel like it, being them friends or not.

I pause before turning around to look at Yuri who shut down the laptop in the meantime.

"Are we going back home anytime soon?" I ask in a hopeless whisper.

She smiles tiredly.

"Not for too long," she replies. "You should get used to this place."

*

Turns out Joshua's living room was actually a nice place for working on my assignments. Yuri was working on her stuff upstairs, while Joshua was preparing coffee "for the uninvited comers" in the kitchen. I was trying my best to focus on what I had to do, but the memories of last night were constantly popping up in my head. I fell asleep while hearing Joshua and Seungcheol talking and I woke up in the same bed, but alone.

It felt like I was dreaming, like I was actually home and all of the events from the past few days were part of my imagination. But when I walked in the kitchen half an hour later and saw Seungkwan and Hoshi eating milk and cereals, I realized this was actually my reality now.

I wake up from my thoughts at the sound of the front door opening and I turn my head towards the entrance to see who was the new comer. I got used with the idea that I was going to meet a lot of new people, but that didn't mean I wasn't curious.

Soon enough, a light-blonde-haired boy enters the living room, stopping in his tracks as soon as he sees me. I recognize him immediately.

Jeonghan smiles as soon as he realizes who I am as well, approaching me and stopping right in front of the coffee table I was sitting at.

"Well well well, Olivia finally decided to bring you here," he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

I simply smile, turning my attention back to my papers. I didn't want to let him see the blood-rush in my cheeks.

"How is it?" He asks calmly.

He was wearing an over-sized flannel shirt, which alongside his skinny black jeans was forming a really casual attire. But in fact, he could wear a trash bag and still manage to look breathtakingly beautiful.

"I don't know," I mutter. "Fine so far, I guess..."

"Right, I'm gonna ask you the same thing in a week," he chuckles but his humor doesn't get to me. "But it's fun if you get the hang of it."

"Have you got the hang of it?" I ask while flipping some papers in order to look like the conversation with him wasn't affecting me that much and I could actually focus on what I had to do.

"I'm having fun, so I'd say so-..."

"Ugh, stop messing around," I hear Joshua saying as he enters the living room, Jeonghan and I both turning our heads to look at him.

"It's fine," I sigh, trying to sound a bit bothered.

In fact, I was bothered by the fact that Joshua suddenly appeared in the room rather than by Jeonghan's attitude.

"See? She says it's fine," Jeonghan says with a cocky smile on his face. "What now? Did they make you her guardian?"

I chuckle and Joshua frowns.

"You're lucky you are talented," Joshua threatens him with a spoon that I didn't realize he was holding.

"As you say, chef," the other boy waves him off and Joshua sighs.

"Coffee is ready," he mutters before leaving the room.

"A terrible chef," Jeonghan whispers, making me chuckle.

I wasn't going to drink coffee anyway. And I was probably going to regret that later.

*

Thirteen.

There had to be thirteen of them, as Joshua said. I was mentally counting how many friends of Seungcheol I had met so far: there were Hoshi, Joshua, Woozi... that loud-ass boy whose name I think it was Seungkwan, Jun and...

That's it.

Plus Seungcheol and Jeonghan, whom I had already known, I count up to seven people.

So there were still six boys whom I hadn't met yet. Six boys that I was likely to meet tonight.

It took a lot of convincing work from Jeonghan to make Yuri agree on going together to some kind of weekly race that he had to take part in. So now, everybody was wondering around Joshua's house as if they were going to a fancy party. Maybe we were. But if so, I was definitely not wearing the right clothes.

However, of course, going to the race had to come with costs. I couldn't stay with Seungcheol, nor with Yuri, because apparently, they were pretty famous among... this kind of things and people seeing me with them couldn't do me any good. Jeonghan was racing, so he couldn't stay with me. Therefore I was left with Joshua. Which- if you are asking me- wasn't that bad. Except from the fact that Jeonghan came up with the idea that I should pretend to be his girlfriend in order not to arise suspicions.

In fact, for some reason, he looked rather pleased that he could make me feel uncomfortable.

The racing area looked much like an abandoned neighborhood. However, something in the bright neon lights on the side of the road was telling me I shouldn't judge by the appearances. Cheers could be heard in the distance, only getting louder as we were driving closer to what looked like an open-air arena.

"Just... how many people are there?" I ask with curiosity.

"A few hundreds," Joshua replies casually and my eyes widen.

A few... hundreds?

That's...

That's a lot.

Joshua chuckles.

"Don't worry, it doesn't look like it," he says and his words make me relax a bit.

I didn't know that what he actually meant wasn't meant to comfort me.

The chatter was loud. There were indeed a lot of people, of literally all kinds. Most of them had crazy outfits and hairstyles. They looked high on life, but some of them might have been high on something else. It was definitely not as unpleasant as I'd expected it to be and the walk from the parking lot to the stands let me analyze the surroundings quite a lot. Yuri instructed me well during the car ride, telling me I should stick with Joshua, no matter what happens, that I shouldn't talk to strangers unless he says it's okay and that I should not, under any circumstance, give signs that I might know her, Seungcheol or Jeonghan.

For some reason, she emphasized the last condition really well.

Up to this point, I can tell this much: she has been hiding a lot of things from me these past few years. But somehow, I feel like I didn't really had time to be mad on her. Other than the fact that she is Seungcheol's girlfriend and that he is apparently... really influent among the underworld of this city, I can't tell why she is so obsessed with keeping me as far away from this as possible.

They aren't a mafia, are they?

They can't be. I mentally laugh at the thought. Being part of a mafia would be too much for my sister. She is not like that.

However, they might be... something.

I notice how people steal glances at Seungcheol and Yuri as they advance to the stands, Joshua and I trying to basically get lost in the crowd. He was holding my wrist gently, making sure I don't get lost in the mass of people. Jeonghan was nowhere to be seen. So much is going on here, I can't focus on anything. A few people step on my feet, making me flinch in pain, but nobody notices. Everybody was too caught up in their own conversations, in their own drug-induced-like exhilaration. The smell of sweat and sweet perfume was invading my nostrils and the cigarette smoke in the air was making me dizzy. This place is so lively and so dead at the same time, I think.

Eventually, we reach a set of stairs and I realize we are near the stands. I follow Joshua as he climbs up to the eighth row, I count. There weren't many people in sitting in the stands; most of them were on the edge of what looked like the racetrack, probably wanting to be as close as possible to the ones who were going to compete.

Holy crap, I think to myself as soon as I take in all my surroundings. This place is something else.

The bright white lights were making me feel like I was on a stadium. There was a specific rawness about this place, that gave it some kind of breathtaking vibe. The racetrack was long enough to get lost in the darkness of the night, the cold emptiness of the rail giving me shivers. It's not going to stay hollow for too long, though.

The lost paradise, open just for the chosen ones, I think. It felt unreal. It felt like I was hallucinating.

I pinch myself.

Nope, it's real.

"It's pretty nice, right?" Joshua asks, bringing me back with my feet on the ground.

Nice is an understatement.

He smiles as my lack of response. There was something about Joshua's aura that made me feel at ease, but the tint of bitterness in his smile made me slightly shiver anxiously.

"You know," he speaks "you seem to be the kind of person who would enjoy coming here regularly."

I look at the fiery crowd on the side of the racetrack and wonder what Joshua might think that I have in common with those people. I hear him chuckling and I turn my head towards him again.

"I wasn't talking about them," he says. "Look right."

I turn my head towards my right and see small groups of people, looking really well-dressed, seeming to be engaged in serious conversations. Their aura was powerful, as if they owned this place or as if they could if they wanted to. Gangs. Of course there had to be gangs over here.

I turn my head towards Joshua again so I don't stare for too long and he smiles again. However, this time, it's not so genuine.

"Part of a gang?" I ask. "No, thank you."

"It's funny," he smiles.

I frown. What could he possibly find funny in the current situation?

He turns his head to look at me. His gaze is mesmerizing, as if... as if he could be a manipulator in some sort of...

"You're talking so confidently for somebody who lives under the same roof with one."

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

00|  01|  02|  03|  04|  05|  06|  07|  08|  09|  10|  tba

#Seventeen #NCT #stray kids #bts #blackpink #mamamoo #g idle #red velvet #jeonghan #the8 #seungkwan #scoups #mingyu #wonwoo #woozi #dino #vernon #joshua #svt dk #Jun #hoshi #angst #multifandom #mafia au #gang #race #cars #college #twice #kpop

[elopez7228]

Scenic Route 34/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774 

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

Rey sat in the grass, contemplating the decision she had to make. The car was ready. BB8 was chasing crickets around.  Right now, almost no one knew her location on the remote campground. But she couldn’t stay there forever. She was furious at Ben...but somehow she couldn’t forget about the night they had spent together. Just thinking about it sent shivers down her spine.  

No, she had to act rationally.

It was a mistake to let Leia and Ben take advantage of her. She had been too rash, too trusting for her own good. She didn’t doubt Syed’s intentions; she had also seen Skylar’s brutality with her own eyes. And something told her they wouldn’t be fooled by bear spray twice. She wished she had been even firmer with Ben that it was his responsibility to reign in the lunatics on his team...

But the doubts crept in. What if he couldn’t do it? Or, what if he didn’t actually want to? Worse yet, what if he never really loved her at all? It was hard to wrap her head around his actions. His kisses were ardent, by all accounts he was even more earnest than he had been that night in Jackson Hole.

Sleeping with him hadn’t felt like a trophy fuck or a one night stand, she had felt like an empress. He’d been so focused on her pleasure, on unraveling her with a gentleness that almost seemed out of character. Still as driven as ever, but sweeter, somehow. No one had made love to her like that in ages.

Was that all in order to get his hands on the microchip? Beneath all her righteous anger she’d hoped that it had been a misunderstanding. Maybe then it would’ve been less painful.

Maybe it was time to embrace the obvious: Cupid had it out for her. Just like with Finn, when things were finally looking up, everything came crashing down.

What now?

She thumbed through her contacts mindlessly. She ought to check in on Poe, but she hardly felt like it. Calling Jessica seemed even worse.

It rang just then, startling her.

Ben Solo.

Was he about to tell her that Syed had been put in the naughty corner? Probably not.

“Yes, Ben?” She sighed.

“Please don’t hang up.”

She wasn’t going to, but it was nice of him to insist. She relented.

“What is it this time?”

“Syed and Skylar are looking for the Falcon. You can’t hope to get away in that car.”

“I see you haven’t been successful in convincing them to leave me alone. Also, this is escalating rather quickly, isn’t it?”

“Look, I’m sorry I put you in this situation, I—“

“Yeah, I suppose you should be,” Rey tried to cut  him off, but Ben was determined.

“Whatever I did before, I regret it, and I’m trying to protect you now. So let me finish. You need to change cars.”

She snorted derisively. “Do you think I have that kind of money? Besides, your mother trusted me with the Falcon, am I really just suppose to let it rot somewhere?”

“No, no, don’t worry. I’m sending Kelsi Ren your way. Switch with her, and try to gain a few hours on Syed and Skylar.”

“And if I refuse?”

“You won’t make it past ten miles. Syed’s out for blood.”

“Is that a threat?”

Ben hesitated to respond. Rey could hear his uneven breathing on the other side.

“Rey, I know I fucked up,” he said hoarsely. “You don’t have to forgive me, but you have to trust me.”

“Trust is a big ask. As for forgiveness, we’ll see. I guess I don’t have a choice about the car...”

“I’m not trying to force you, but it’s your best option. I mean it.”

Rey rolled her eyes. Really, what alternative did she have? She sighed again.

“When will Kelsi be here?”

“Ten minutes, she’s on the way. When she gets there, switch the registration papers too. Don’t talk to her, don’t answer any questions.”

“It’s not like I’ll invite her to tea,” she grumbled as she hung up.

Ben wasn’t kidding: a large Lincoln Nautilus pulled up next to the Millenium Falcon in a matter of minutes. To Rey’s chagrin, it wasn’t quite large enough to fit her mattress, so they were back to sleeping in the car. At least this one had air conditioning. That would be a welcome change.

She supposed she should call Leia about the Falcon soon. She had promised to deliver both the car and the dog, but perhaps Leia would be receptive to the “looming killers” argument. Desperate times called for desperate measures...

Kelsi emerged from the car. Rey had seen her on stage before, but she was different out of costume, in broad daylight. She looked good in her ripped jeans and hiking boots, though she appeared younger now. Short platinum blonde hair framed her face, which was well-hidden beneath a combination of dark sunglasses and a tattered shawl that wrapped around her shoulders.

“Are you Rey?” She asked casually as she approached.

“Yeah. Here’s my car,” she replied, gesturing to the aging Oldmobile Cruiser.

The blonde grimaced, muttering something about a shitty last minute plan under her breath.

“Here’s the keys and the papers. The tank is loaded. Where’re you headed?”

Ben’s voice echoed in Rey’s head: don’t answer any questions. She realized it was time to play the clueless tourist again, since everyone seemed to think she excelled at the role.

"I don’t know,” she said, giving Kelsi her blankest smile. “I’ll just hit the road I guess. Go wherever life takes me.”

“Whatever,” Kelsi grumbled, mostly to herself. In an almost mechanical gesture, she handed Rey the keys and the registration document.

Now it was time to move the contents of the Falcon. Rey cleared out the glovebox, suddenly noticing that the toy car was gone. She panicked when she realized that Luke’s address was still there. Had Ben found it the other night? If that was the case, he now knew her location and her destination. And that meant he knew his uncle’s address. But he never once said anything. Another day, another game of hide and seek.

“Ugh, this piece of crap reeks of dog!” Kelsi complained. Behind her, Rey snorted. Good luck with that, princess.

Finally, Rey moved BB8’s toys and food bowl to the back seat of the Lincoln before getting behind the wheel. The engine revved up smoothly, and she instantly knew this was a major upgrade compared to the Falcon. It also came with a leather interior, GPS, and Bluetooth. Score! The rest of this trip was going to be so much fun.

She put her sunglasses on and adjusted her seat. Time to hit the road again!

For a little while she basked in the feeling of relief, forgetting that she was currently a crazy old woman’s pawn with no other plans in life, on the run from a pair of assassins and leagues away from her dying ex-husband.

She drove carefully out of Bozeman on Highway 89. She connected her phone to the Bluetooth system, finally deciding to give Poe a call. The conversation was brief as Finn was stable and nothing had changed. Rey neglected to mention her own circumstances because she didn’t want her friends in England to worry more than they already did.

Now that she thought about it, she wasn’t as scared as before. Was this her new normal—travelling alone, confronting bears, flirting with rockstars, and outrunning gangs? Despite the risks, she had never felt more alive.  

She slowed the car as she approached what looked like a police barricade. Rey was about to pull the window down when the officer standing there motioned for her to keep going.

But by now her good humor had suddenly disappeared. Ben had said that she wouldn’t make it ten miles in the Falcon. Was this barricade the proof? Did FORCE really have the means to intercept her like that? The idea was so terrifying that she pushed it away.

She was headed even further west, in the direction of Idaho. It was 8 AM now. If she drove for another twelve hours, she could spend the night in Reno, Nevada. From there, San Francisco would only be four hours away. Rey would find Luke Skywalker, give him his dog and the microchip, and live the rest of her average life in peace.

Eventually, she would have to call Leia Skywalker, but right now she needed some dial-in advice from her Fairy Godmother.

“Rey, good morning! How was the concert?”

Concert? Maz’s question was brimming with so much enthusiasm that it took Rey’s brain scrambled to catch up. Ah yes, that concert. Before...before everything. The old woman listened patiently as Rey explained the events of that night, and the unexpected consequences.

“Rey. Rey! Listen to me, I don’t quite get the story behind this micro-SD thing, but it sounds important. So as far as I understand, group A hid this thing on you without your knowledge, and group B, the gang, is looking for it. And you’re angry at group A but you forgive them, while also being in love with the leader of group B, who you’re in a spat with right now. Is that it?”

“I am not in love with—“ her voice broke off mid-sentence.

Who was she kidding? She couldn’t even lie to herself anymore.

Maz was silent, allowing Rey to internalize her revelation.

“What about him?” She asked Rey gently, “Is he not in love either?”

“I don’t know, Maz. He’s been chasing  me for a week with his smoldering looks and his  but-I’m-a-sentimental-beast  love songs. And last night he was—“

Rey sighed.

“Last night he was so genuine. Or so I thought. I believed his affections, and I believed his words too. But this morning he was sending me mixed signals. On one hand he was rummaging through my stuff while I slept, but on the other he just gave me a new car.”

“Rey, I’ve met Syed. She didn’t seem like a very nice woman. I’m willing to believe that she will hurt you, especially now that she has a bone to pick. So why is Kylo Ren risking himself to protect you, after he put you in danger?”

“Ben Solo. It’s Ben Solo who’s trying to protect me, not Kylo Ren.”

“What’s the difference?”

As Rey mulled the question over in her head, it dawned on her that she had always seen a clear distinction between Kylo Ren and Ben Solo. Why?

“Kylo Ren is just a persona. He’s a spy who operates the gears and collects the debts for FORCE. Ben Solo has a more complicated backstory involving his parents, and he doesn’t stand a chance against real villains like Syed Ren. He was the one who kissed me last night.”

“And the man who was looking for the microchip as you slept, who was he?”

“Definitely not the same guy who offered me a car so that I could escape.”

“It looks to me like this boy has a lot of soul-searching to do. I don’t know if you can help with his problems. Take the car for now and get as far away from them as you can! Go find yourself some shelter and let the boy figure out his own life. He’ll come back to you if he really means to.”

Rey contemplated this in silence. It was simple enough to worry about herself for now and let Ben come back when he was ready. It seemed reasonable, doable.

When their conversation came to an end, Rey stopped at Three Forks to get breakfast and buy a few more supplies for the journey. Ideally, she would make as few stops as possible to really stay ahead. Feeling a renewed sense of determination, she was ready to face the world again.

This part of the Rockies was different than the area east of the Teton, which she had passed on arrival. In Wyoming she had driven past dry mountain prairies that were almost desert-like. The other side of the mountain chain was much hillier, reminiscent of the Alpine countryside. She spotted grassy knolls, valleys, and snowy mountain peaks set against the flowery plains.

She followed the valley south, feeling lighter and lighter with each passing kilometer. There was no one behind her. No menacing SUV, no Syed in sight. Could it be that all her worries were immaterial?

Well, there was one person she still had to worry about contacting: Leia Skywalker.

#reylo #fanfiction #Modern AU #Scenic Route

[veridium]

miss independent

COLLEGE AU DISASTER COMING IN HOT 

I want to say that this chapter, even though relatively short and to the point, is a very important one in terms of content for me. Based on a lot of my experiences being a young queer person in activist/”social justice” spaces, and the ways in which people use those spaces for their own needs. This is all a eloquent way of me saying: gay drama, it sucks, and it’s real. The community isn’t a utopia!

So, uh, enjoy!

fic masterpost // last chapter

--

-- Theia The Gayuh: Hey 

Read 8:04am

-- Theia The Gayuh: Can we talk, please?

Read 8:13am. 

-- Theia The Gayuh: You turned on your read receipts just for this, didn’t you. 

Message Delivered.

She sends the messages Tuesday morning, and Liv can’t decide whether she’s angry or thankful she’s left her alone for 48 entire hours. Usually they can’t stand to be upset with each other more than the length of one L Word episode. Oh how the turn tables. 

Eventually, though, she does respond. After a whole day of classes, texting Cassandra about everything but the fact that Theia reached out, and seeing Ellinor in passing, walking hand-in-hand with Cullen. She’s glad they worked things out for now -- now being a day-by-day, sometimes even hour-by-hour kind of thing. They survived the first party saga of their respective relationships, and now she sympathizes with Cassandra’s desire for peace and discipline more than ever. Besides, it’s getting to be crunch time in the semester. They should be calming down. 

Olivia: Meet me at Johnny’s at 6, then. I can’t stay long. I have to study. 

Read 3:17pm. 

-- Theia The Gayuh: Sounds good. Thank you. 

If she scrolls up just a bit, she can find their last messages from before the war. Memes from gay instagram accounts, short threats of disownment and other heartfelt jokes. It’s not right being on the outs with her, but what can she do? She’s still angry, and that isn’t saying much. Olivia can be angry for years if she deems it necessary. 

She touches base with Ellinor, the other half of her brain, before she shows her face at the pizza place they agreed to meet. 

-- Ellinor: I don’t know, dude. Maybe she wants to apologize?

Olivia: I hope so because if it’s just more bullshit I’m going to be so mad. 

-- Ellinor: Cullen says to hit her with the crushed peppers if she fucks up.

Olivia: 👀

-- Ellinor: Okay I said it 

-- Ellinor: He says hope it works out. I said that was boring. 

Olivia: Be nice!! 

Before she locks her phone she looks back on the last messages Cassandra and her sent to each other from hours prior. They’re perfectly nice and sweet, not paragraph length like they used to be. The more they get to know each other the shorter the answers become and the less stressful it is to come up with what to say. She puts the car in park and turns the key, making one last wish that she won’t have to lose a friendship just so she can have a relationship.

Johnny’s is one of the most college-town holes in the wall there is. But, to be fair, their pizza is also the best in town -- or so Theia and Olivia swear every time they show up for the last by-the-slice orders at 1am. Now, in the socially acceptable hour of dinner for regular people, she’s reliving all the hazy memories when she walks in and sees Theia sitting back at a corner table along the wall, scrolling her own phone. 

Ugh. Fuck. 

She looks up and sees Liv standing like a scarecrow, and doesn’t smile. She just sits up and takes an anxious breath by the looks of it. Olivia tucks her head and walks over before it becomes a standoff in an old Western film. 

“Hey.” Theia says it first as Olivia drops her keys and wallet on the table. She does a subtle head nod in reply and takes her seat. That is more than enough. 

“Are you...how are you?” 

The sound of her voice is enraging still. Its sobriety and measured diplomacy, too. Where was it when she needed it? When Cassandra would have benefited from it? Oh, that’s right, drowned in a gallon of rum and bud lite. 

“I’m good. You?”

“Good.”

She holds back a glare. She shouldn’t be good. She should be far from good. But when she looks up, Theia’s face says as much. 

“I...I thought it would be better if--”

“H-how is Josephine?’

Theia gives her a confused look, hands sliding back and into her lap. “Uh...she’s...good. You haven’t been in touch with her?”

“Not since Saturday. I was planning on texting her.”

“Oh. Uh, cool. Yeah, you should do that.”

“Yeah.”

Awkward pause, part one, hits. Olivia’s eyes wander around the place, to the chalkboard signs with the beer tap menu, to the awkward high school-aged boy behind the counter re-folding takeout menus. Man, he still does not look a day over 15 with that haircut. 

“Liv.” Theia says it in a ‘let’s cut the crap’ kind of way, but she’s not ready to follow along. But she also can’t divert attention anymore so she keeps her mouth shut. 

“Liv, come on.”

“Hm?” she offers, and locks eyes with her. It’s then she notices the coca-cola cup of water and ice she has in her hand, straw by her mouth. 

“I know you’re mad at me.”

“Uh…” Olivia can’t hold it back anymore. This baiting and subtle nod to the issue is aggravating her bullshit meter. She smiles with impatience and shakes her head. “Uh, it’s not that I’m mad at you, Theia. It’s that you fucked up.”

“I know that.”

“Do you? Because you seem to be chilling with your ice water.”

“Ah.” Theia sighs, and sets down her cup. “So that’s how this is gonna go.”

So this is how this is gonna go? Ugh, she was right. It’s gonna be more bullshit. Not just the apology and explanation she deserves. No offer to apologize to Cassandra directly. No accountability. Why the fuck did she make this plan? Theia is never going to--

“Look, I know what I did was immature. I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? What about Cass? You went full Mean Girls on her. If anyone should be here getting an apology, it’s her.”

“As long as I get one for the hours I spent talking to you and texting you about her when she was pulling her bullshit.”

“That’s not how that works!”

“Well it should!”

“Uh, hey.” From above both their steaming heads, the boy from the counter interrupted, standing like a beanpole with two menus in his hand. He eyed them both with a look not unlike the way the little girl in the movie Matilda looks at Ms. Trunchbull, and sets them down between them. Olivia blinks away her hostility as best she can, but Theia just rolls her eyes and looks away. Classy. 

“Thanks,” Liv says, but the boy is already halfway back to the counter. Talk about a way of saying ‘please hurry up with things so you can leave sooner.’

Theia sighs with dread and takes her menu, thumb pressing a corner bend as she stares at the lines of words. Olivia keeps hers flat on the table and retracts her hands, peering over it like a child. Maybe she should pull out a magnifying glass and also search for a will to live. 

“I just don’t get what you see in her.” Suddenly, Theia sets down the menu and folds her arms. She’s really ready to be completely obliterated. 

Olivia perks up fast, outrage in her posture as her mouth goes open wide. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Theia?”

“It means exactly what it sounds like. I don’t get it. I didn’t get it in the beginning, I didn’t get it at the party, and I still don’t.”

“If you don’t get it, fine. You aren’t in the relationship.”

“It’s not that, Liv. You have always been a certain kind of person, and you have always been outspoken about what it means to be queer. You deserve someone who is as passionate about it as you, who won’t...like, I don’t know. Gentrify it.”

“Gentrify it?!” 

The boy came back again. This time with a notepad and pen. Behind him an older man was peeking out from the window into the kitchen looking as if he had bribed him to return. 

“I, uh…” Theia said, still mad as she nearly tossed him the menu. “I’ll have the Hawaiian personal, please.”

“Chill,” he replied, sliding the menu under his arm. Then he looked at Liv, one eye twitching a bit narrower than the other. What, was something on her face?

“I’ll have a Margarita. Medium, please...” she looks at Theia when she bends her brow. “I’m bringing back some for Ellinor. I owe her for stealing five of her easy-macs.” 

She hands the menu back because the guy looks like he’s being held hostage, releasing him back into the wild. After that she folds her arms and rests them on the table, leaning onto the table. 

“Oh. I thought…”

“You thought I was bringing some for Cassandra? What, that she’s waiting outside with sunglasses on and a sniper in case things go bad?”

Theia bites the corner of her mouth and looks away. Her fingers twist together as she takes in the wall painting hanging next to them of the old river bridge just past downtown. College town shops always decorated with images you could see by virtue of a 5 minute walk in any direction. As if it heightened the experience or the pride in a bridge of all things. 

“You give her too little credit.”

Theia snorted. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, asshole?” Olivia tilted her head, countering her feistiness. “You know nothing about her.”

“No one does! So she’s gay now. That mean she’s going to stop hanging out with those sexist, stalking assholes in her Bible study? The ones who campaigned for Prop 13 last year?”

“I never saw her out there with them!”

“It doesn’t matter, Liv! She still wasn’t against them!”

“You don’t know that!”

Theia scooted back in her chair but didn’t get up. She rolled her eyes so hard her head went with them, and she locked them on one of the tv’s on the opposite side of the room. Sports, or something, playing on the screen. Olivia stayed where she was, in the exact shape she was, though her flight or fight instinct trampled her willingness to stick around. This was the complete opposite of how she always wanted it to go, of how she always thought it would be. Her life had become a Dr. Phil special where the envious best friend was sat across from the happy but plain looking married couple, begging the best friend to stop egging their cars.

“Is she out to her family?”

Olivia scoffed. “Theia, you’re gatekeeping again.”

“I’m not, I just asked a question,” she corrected, looking back down at her. 

“I...I dunno.”

“Really?”

“Probably not. She just came to the conclusion herself. I don’t think she’s had the time or reason to. Not until...well, I don’t know.” She grabbed the straw wrapper leftover from Theia’s drink and began playing with it. 

“Pfft. Gotcha.”

“That doesn’t matter, though. Why should it? So she can be the “correct” form of real?”

“Oh, don’t give me that. You know what I’m worried about. The same reason you were concerned when Josie and I got together. The thing you saw fit to bring up that night, in public, in front of everyone. Remember how not-whispery your tipsy whispering is?”

Shit. She hadn’t thought about it like that. At the time, it was an empowering speech-and-run that she made to expel her rage. The kind of tell-off everyone dreams of giving when faced with someone’s traitorous actions. She hadn’t taken into account the volume, or the environment -- had Josephine heard her? Had other people? Oh God, that might have been completely humiliating…

Theia watched her, and shook her head. “Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, she does know what you said.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, that was a wonderful fight to have at 3am. Thanks for that.” 

“Theia, I--”

“Whatever, Liv. You know what I mean when I ask if she’s out. It’s different when we’re kids, when we’re poor...it’s not like that with you. You’re both adults, and she’s rich. What’s stopping her from doing what all those Beauty Queens do making out with our friends in the dive bars then running off to Mommy and Daddy’s house in the Dales?”

“She’s not rich, her fa--”

“Liv.”

Ugh, fuck. She rested back on her chair and ripped the wrapper in two. She caught her on something she would say was bullshit in any other context, and she hated her for it. Wealth wasn’t an individualistic thing, it wasn’t some easily-excluded condition. That was well-evidenced by her continued compliance with her Mom’s antics if it meant getting her tuition bills paid and health insurance secured. 

“You’re still being disrespectful and showing your privilege. It doesn’t matter the age of when someone comes out, it’s still difficult and uncomfortable. The fact that she is doing it, and doing it with someone in her life, is brave. And she and her family aren’t white. Neither are Josie’s. We won’t ever know what it’s like to do what they do. Money or no money.” If only you knew what she’s gone through, what she struggles with. Shit, if only *I* knew. 

“Ugh, you sound like those women’s studies harpies with all the buzz words.”

“I sound like a compassionate human being. You would do well to try it sometime.”

Theia slurped her water, visibly calmer than she was at the start. Perhaps a little too calm. Her heart was in the right place, if only she would admit she was just feeling protective and possessive of her best friend. Instead she was dunking and deep-frying her concern in narrow-minded visibility politics. Olivia flicked the ball of remaining wrapper onto the table, giving up on it as a plaything. She was looking at the person who helped her come to terms with her sexuality, the person who listened to her cry in the middle of the night after she’d have another fight with her Mom about wanting to cut her hair or have a pride flag in her room when she’d come home in the summer. They had gone through so much, and she wants to hold onto it with the hope that if she can change, Theia can, too.

“Well. I guess I’ll be wishing for her to prove me wrong, then,” Theia allows, shrugging her broad lesbian shoulders with her broad lesbian skepticism. This isn’t the last of it, and she isn’t convinced in the slightest. By the looks of it -- and by the knowledge Olivia has in 2 years of friendship -- she’s choosing not to pick the battle anymore. Relieving, but only to an extent. 

“Thanks, I guess. I still think you owe her an apology.”

“Fat chance.”

“Theia.” Olivia notices pizzas being brought out of the kitchen. Perfect fucking timing evaded them this far, why would it start now? “Apologize to her or I won’t let this go.”

“Oh come on.”

“I mean it--” she interrupts herself as the guy approached with Theia’s order and two pizza stands. She’ll have to wait until he’d do the second trip for her own meal. It felt like an hour, their stiff staring down of one another while Chad-Kevin-Trevor-whoever did his thing. Poor dude, he was annoying but he would get a good tip. No one wants to be at the mercy of gay drama. When at last everything was served, and the guy got out with his life, she pulled napkins from the dispenser and continued. 

“I’m not going to apologize to someone who proves me right the next day. I’m just not going to have her put a rift between us.”

“You have no faith in her and you don’t even know her!” Her put a rift between us? Her?

“I have seen this happen too many times in this town to blink it away, Liv. I’m not going to watch it happen to you and pretend it’s some big surprise.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

Theia chews away, dropping her slice down on the plate. Her greasy hands ate up the napkin she used to clean them off, finger by finger. “I can’t stop you from dating her. But you can’t stop me from having my gut feelings.”

Oh, fuck all. 

After a tense pause, Olivia grabbed the infamous crushed peppers and generously sprinkled them onto her own meal. “You know, maybe it’s for the better. If she were here she’d say she wouldn’t want your apology unless it was sincere. Which, obviously it isn’t, because you are an asshole.”

“Psh. Fine, say it’s that. All I know is I don’t say sorry unless actions prove it warranted. And I trust you enough not to do that thing everyone does when they get together.”

You mean U-Haul and crawl up each other’s assholes never to see anyone else again. Cool, that’ll be fun to attempt, considering I intend to keep you two as far away from each other as humanly possible. For my sake, and hers. Olivia took a large bite into her first steaming slice and, as always, immediately squirmed. 

“H-h-haw--”

“God dammit, Liv,” Theia grinned and slid her water to her side, which Olivia took and gulped from the rim. Fuck the straw. 

“Gah,” she gasps, and slammed it down. “I’m such a dumbass.” 

She met her glance, mouth lined with sauce and balsamic. Theia’s playful expression is her weakness. She chuckles for the first time all afternoon, pressing a crinkled up napkin to her mouth as she did so. Theia follows suit, leaning back and running her fingers through her down-and-tousled hair. She mutters a curse under her breath. It’s like opening a can of soda and letting the carbonation finally release. 

“Ugh, Liv, you’re always going to be my girl.” She reaches for the parmesean shaker and began dousing her pizza in it. A Hawaiian pizza with parmesean sounds disgusting, but the way she ogles it with hungry eyes, you’d swear it was the most delicious thing to ever be invented. 

Her statement though. Her statement makes Olivia’s heart creak. She wants so badly to nod and smile, fully believing in it as she always had. But the truth is -- and she hated herself for it -- the entire time she sits there she’s missing Cassandra. Missing her, the way she talks, the way she laughs when she had a mouth full of food. 

She watches Theia take her first cooled-down and thus safe bite, and for that split second she lets her inner frown weigh on her face.

The pizza isn’t for Ellinor, she confesses in her thoughts, one which she wishes to say out loud. But everything said not to. Everything said it wasn’t safe. And for that, she is at a loss. 

--

“Well, fuck her.”

Ellinor, having stolen a slice of the leftovers, thus proving Olivia’s fib somewhat obsolete, is adamant. Cross-legged in old basketball shorts and a tank with flannel on (peak pajamas aesthetic). All the while Olivia paces with a textbook in hand, trying to work out the anxious energy while also getting work done. A futile endeavor, a tale as old as time. 

“Ellinor, please.”

“Nah, fuck her. She knows what she did was fucked up!” said with a mouthful of margarita goodness. She gulps it down and then burps like a truck driver twice her age. Olivia has to giggle.

“Ahh, fuck, this hits the spot. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, fu--”

“I get it, okay!” Olivia shut the book and tossed it onto her desk. Huffing with indignation. What bright idea did she have thinking she could just be friends with so many opinionated and crass women? Oho, feminism, blah blah blah, women’s empowerment, blah blah, empowered women empower women, blah blah BLAH. 

“Well. Then what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to proceed as planned. Theia doesn’t feed me or pay my bills. Her opinion is purely arbitrary.”

“Uh huh, so that’s why you’re creating rubber burn marks on your carpet.”

“What?!” Olivia squeaked, looking back behind her bare feet. Oh, good one, Ellinor. 

“Liv.”

“Oh stop it! I’m doing my best. Theia is one of my first and truest friends. She’s the only one I’ve known as long as you.”

Ellinor slouched and scowled with bitchy apathy -- a talent she knew best. Sliding herself off her friend’s bed, she put her hands on her hips and stood toe-to-toe with her.

“Yeah, Liv, and only one of us isn’t being a dick about something that’s making you happy.”

Olivia frowns and slides her hands into her hoodie pocket. “It’s...it’s not the same. It’s different in the community versus out. I can’t--”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“Ellinor…” 

Ellinor dragged her feet as she headed towards the door. “Last I checked, Liv, there isn’t a Hayley Kiyoko song about being gay meaning you get to step over boundaries like they’re hopscotch squares!”

“Ell--”

“Nah-ah!” she yelled, sliding in through the door’s narrow opening. Her finger went up in the air as she lingered. “I can cite sources, too, Ruth Gay-der Ginsburg!”

“...I hate you.”

From the hall, the same sarcastic voice echoed: “LOVE YOU TOO!”

She’s going to be saying that for the rest of the week. Fantastic. Olivia resigned herself and fell back on her bed, hands across her stomach as she wished to be anywhere else but there. She had always swore she would tape stars and planets to her ceiling but never got around to it. Truth was she wasn’t tall enough to reach, and Ellinor has no advantage in that department, either. But...she could ask Cassandra. She could do that now. She could do a lot of things. 

But first, she can do one right thing, for someone who didn’t deserve the heat she got. She unplugged her phone and held it above her head. 

Olivia: Hey, Josie. I talked to Theia about the party. I’m sorry I made an ass of myself at your expense. 

Read at 8:55pm

-- Josie: It was not the funnest thing. I appreciate your apology, though. Theia was being ridiculous, I’m sorry you had to deal with that. 

Olivia: It’s not your job to apologize for her choices. 

-- Josie: I know! Is Cassandra okay? 

Olivia: Yeah. A lot has happened. I’m feeling really overwhelmed. 

-- Josie: Oh, dear. You want to get coffee tomorrow?

Olivia: 😭

-- Josie: Lol, okay. I’ll meet you in the Hub.

#fic update #day & age #friendship fic #college AU #college!ellinor #college!olivia #modern thedas au #hot mess express