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#Then I said hey anybody want to stream with me

makwebba · 2 months

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better than a podium l LN4

summary: lando could've won his first race in silverstone but he ended up not finishing. pairing: lando x gf!reader warnings: mentions of lando crashing and swearing. note: my first formula 1 fan fiction! not my first time writing fan fictions but it has been a couple of years since i wrote something and lately my love for writing is slowly coming back. the pictures are from pinterest and idk who the owners are so if you guys know the owner or if you are the owner, please lemme know :( also no hate on checo but it just kinda make sense cause he's in a red bull idk. dont come for me. anyways, i hope you guys enjoy it!

- lando was leading the race in silverstone, his home race. you could've not been more prouder for your boyfriend, you were certain he was gonna win the race but not until checo hit the rear tyre of lando's car which cause him to spun out and hit the barrier. your heart sank, everything went numb and it felt like the world just stopped. it was a bad crash, you waited for his voice to come through the mclaren headset that's snugged onto your ear. "lando, are you okay, mate?" randy asked through the radio. you can hear him grunt and groan in agony, breaking your heart even further. you hated seeing him like this every time you come and watch him race. what felt like ages, the medical car finally showed up to retrieve him back to the garage. lando didn't even bother making any eye contact with anybody once he got to the garage, not even you. he just went straight back to his driver's room, hearing the door slam behind you. you sighed as you rubbed your face with your hands in frustration. you walked over to where he locked himself in, you didn't even have to see him to feel the tension that was building in the air as you knocked on the door. "lan...?" your voice muffled against the wooden barrier between you and lando. lando's eyes closed shut when he heard your voice behind the door, he always loved how soft spoken you were to him. he hasn't responded back to you as he stayed where he was sat before deciding opening the door for you. there he is. what he once was; a ray of sunlight beaming through the morning sun to becoming the loud rumbling sound of thunder at night. you furrowed your brows as you quickly but gently swift his hand up against yours while you closed the door behind you. "hey..." you whispered as you brought your hand up to his face, searching for his eyes. lando was not the type to cry but boy, he was just on the verge of losing it. you brought him into a tight embrace, your face nuzzled on the crook of his neck and his arms wrapping around your back. he held you tight as you started to hear him sniffle which ached your heart painfully. you had to fight your tears back because he hated seeing you be so empathetic for him whenever he had a bad race. "i was close... so fucking close..." he mumbled, his voice getting choked up. "i know, my love. i know." you slowly pulled away from him as he quickly wiped the tears building up in his eyes with the palm of his hand before it could stream down his face. you rubbed his arms for comfort as you stood before him, you finally managed to see his eyes. oh so beautiful but it was filled with so much anger and pain. "you did so well out there. and i know your fans wanted you to win as much as you do. we all did. but sometimes things just doesn't go our way..." you said, running your fingers through the side of his head, intertwining with his curls. "could never win a race, huh?" he muttered, moving your hand away from him. "i don't know why i got into this sport in the first place. not even good at it." it broke your heart to hear him talk so low about himself. you tilted your head slightly to the side as your brows furrowed when he moved your hand away from him, stopping you from running your fingers through his hair. you didn't let him get away from it when you placed both of your hands on his face, staring directly into his eyes. "you don't have to be a race winner to be a great driver. you are enough." lando looked back into your eyes which eased him a little. he took a deep breath in when his hand found a place down on your lower back, a soft smile appeared on his face which made you smile back at him.

it was that contagious. "in everyone's eyes you're a winner. to me you're a champion." a wave of warmth cruised all over lando's body when you said those words to him. it definitely hit a nerve in his system but in a good way. it didn't take long until lando pulled you in closer to him and placed his lips against yours, gentle and passionate. "i wouldn't know what i would've done if you weren't here..." he said. landonorris and ynusername

liked by mclaren, user1, user2 and 1,233,754 others landonorris shoulda woulda coulda, right? but i’ve got something better than a podium.

the end x

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #lando norris smau #lando norris imagines #lando norris imagine #makwebba fan fictions

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starlightkun · 4 months

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➠ word count: 21.3k ➠ warnings: cursing, once again everything i know about hockey is from the internet and only for this fic i’m sorry, a couple different blood/injury mentions, needle/injection mention and descriptions, mentions of other medical testing/settings, just chronically ill girlie things 🤪 ➠ genre: fluff, sooo much fluff they’re sooo in love tbh, a bit of hurt/comfort sprinkled in, established relationship, college au, hockey captain sungchan, chronically ill reader (chronic migraines), christmas-y for a couple scenes in the middle, sequel to buzzer beater ➠ extra info: this is the sequel to buzzer beater, which you should definitely read before this one so you know what’s going on! the reader in this has chronic migraines, which i have. when the reader’s migraines, experiences as a chronically ill person, and thoughts about being chronically ill are described, that is me writing directly from my own life. i am not generalizing the lives of all people with chronic migraines/chronic illnesses, but i am sending all my love to any readers out there living with a chronic illness, and here’s a reminder to go take your meds! ➠ author’s note: i’m sooo down astronomically bad for hockey player sungchan and i hope you all are too bc take a look at that word count lol. anyway have fun!! ➠ series masterlist | spotify playlist

You felt more giggle than human at this point, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his collar to hide it from him and get a moment to recover your aching smile muscles. He hugged you even tighter to him, resting his chin on your head.

i. i will give you my palm to help you walk through the hurtful, want to give you that calm that you have so long searched for

[sicheng: come get your mans]

The random text from Sicheng made you shoot up on your couch. Hockey practice was happening right now, you were expecting Sungchan to come over to your place after—and also to not be getting texts from anybody on the team at the moment.

[you: hello? what?]

[sicheng: no seriously come pick him up he took a puck to the face]

You rushed through the automatic doors into the rink, looking around for any sign of paramedics or— The rest of the team was still practicing, and there was no obvious bright red blood on the ice, that was a good sign, at least. Nobody on the ice seemed to have even noticed your entrance. Okay, so maybe not a huge emergency then.

Taking a couple steps down the hallway that led into the locker room, you called out, “Sungchan? Sicheng?”

“Yeah! In here!” Sicheng replied. “You can come in!”

Throwing the door open, you immediately saw the goalie standing over Sungchan, who was sat on one of the benches, holding a rag up to his face. The white towel was blotted with crimson blood, and you gasped.

“Sungchan!” You darted towards them.

Sungchan lowered his hand, and you could finally see some of the damage. The blood was streaming down from a gash on the right side of his forehead, by his hairline.

No black eyes, though.

He gave you a wincing smile, and you thankfully saw all of his teeth still there. “Y/N, hey...”

You looked down at him incredulously, “How did you even—”

“I’m okay, baby,” he reassured you, reaching out with his free hand to squeeze your forearm.

“That’s not what I said. Aren’t you supposed to be wearing a helmet and visor out there? How did you get a puck to your bare forehead?”

“I’ll leave him to you,” Sicheng declared, backing away from you two. “I’ve got to get back to practice.”

“I wasn’t on the ice,” Sungchan explained. “I was talking to Sicheng by the gate. Rogue puck, he ducked in time, I didn’t.”

You knew whereabouts on the rink he was talking about. The school’s rink was also used for ice skating for some extra money, and had a separate entrance onto the ice for those patrons aside from the entrance from the players’ benches. Since he wasn’t anywhere on the ice, Sungchan must’ve felt comfortable taking his helmet off.

“And you didn’t have your helmet on.”

“Well, yeah,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Open gate, no helmet, rogue puck to the face,” you summarized, taking the towel from his hand to wipe up a drop of blood that had been inching down his temple while you two spoke. It at least wasn’t bleeding as profusely as before, the blood starting to coagulate.

“Really, isn’t it Sicheng’s fault? For ducking? He had a helmet on, he would’ve been fine if it hit him.”

“Mm, of course. Blame the guy with better reflexes than you.” You tossed the rag into the team laundry basket in the corner. “Alright, get changed, I’m taking you home.”

“Okay,” he agreed with a great sigh, bending over to untie his skates, then immediately sat back up. “Woah…”

As Sungchan blinked quickly to get reoriented, you dropped to one knee in front of him to start undoing his laces. “Lightheaded?”

“A bit…”

“I don’t know if I should be hoping for blood loss or concussion.”

After you’d gotten his skates off him, he was able to change out of his uniform and into casual clothes on his own. Slinging his practice bag over your shoulder, you handed his gear bag to him, knowing that you wouldn’t quite be able to manage that yourself. Without even waiting for him, you grabbed his arm to wrap it around your shoulders and snaked yours around his waist, the memory of him getting lightheaded replaying in your mind.

As the two of you left the cold rink into the equally cold December air, you kept an eye on Sungchan for any signs of him needing medical attention beyond your capabilities. Aside from the injury itself, he seemed fine, just with a slightly jutted-out bottom lip as he kept his eyes trained on the ground in front of his feet.

“What’s the pouty face for?” You asked.

“I’m not pouting.” Sungchan resisted.

“Yes you are. You look like a 186-centimeter baby. What’s wrong? Other than your acute case of puck face.”

The pout become even more prominent as he mumbled, “It’s like you’re not even worried about me...”

“Ah, of course I’m worried about my Sungchannie,” you promised, pulling him even closer with the arm you had around his waist. You moved it up to rub his back as you leaned your head against him affectionately. “I’m just so used to seeing guys get their teeth knocked out and their noses broken at your games that when Sicheng said you got a puck to the face, that’s what I was expecting to see. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I didn’t care. I was just relieved, is all.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded firmly. “Besides, I’m clearly worried enough to take you home and patch you up myself.”

“You are?” He asked hopefully.

“Oh yeah, I’ve got this first aid kit that’s about as big as you are. You’re going to be good as new, baby boy.”

His face finally cracked into a smile. “Why do you have a first aid kit that big?”

“It was the only one at the store that came with alcohol wipes. I need them for my monthly injection, to disinfect the injection site.”

“Right.” He squeezed your upper arm. “Of course, the girl that has to have an entire pharmacy in her kitchen.”

You nudged him with your shoulder teasingly, “And my Sungchannie, who has to take hockey pucks to the face.”

Once the two of you had arrived at your apartment, you immediately pointed to your couch. “Sit.”

Sungchan obeyed easily, plopping down without another word. He took off a couple layers now that you weren’t in the biting winter cold, setting them on the cushion beside him as you bustled over to your kitchen.

“My head hurts,” he announced, sounding downright pitiful.

“Really? Your head hurts?” You pouted at him, getting on your tiptoes to pull down your massive first aid kit from your cabinet.

“Uh-huh.”

“Aw, my poor Sungchannie,” you cooed, setting the huge first aid kit down on the coffee table and popping it open.

The apartment heating had kicked on, so you finally took off your heavy parka and overcoat as well, leaving you just in the base lounge clothes you’d been in before you’d hurried to get dressed with the urgent texts from Sicheng.

First, you tipped a couple of over-the-counter painkillers into his waiting hand, and he knocked them back with a sip from his water bottle.

Grabbing a couple alcohol swabs and boxes of bandages, you asked, “Okay, Hello Kitty, spaceships, or Pokémon?”

“Mm… What kind of Pokémon?”

“First gen. I think it’s mostly Gengars and Psyducks left in there.”

“A Gengar please,” he requested sweetly.

You fished a bandage out, pre-ripping the end of the packaging before setting it on the arm of the couch. Standing in between Sungchan’s legs as he was reclined back on your couch, you leaned over him, very gingerly brushing his hair back from his forehead so you could see the injury better. Thankfully, the bleeding had stopped between the rink and your place, all clotted blood and the start of scabs. Less thankfully for him, you were about to sanitize all of that. Gently turning his head so you could get better light, you tore open the first alcohol wipe and lightly touched it to the very edge of where you thought the wound started. Sungchan’s forehead wrinkled, but he didn’t make a sound. You continued at your task for another second before he finally spoke up.

“Y/N.”

“Sorry, I know it stings, but I’m almost done.” You promised. “I’d go faster but the lighting isn’t great in here, and some of it goes into your hair.”

“Don’t you think you’d be able to see better…” A pair of hands grabbed your hips, encouraging you closer, closer, down, down, until you were straddling Sungchan's lap, a knee on either side of him. “Like this?”

You were about to make a retort, except this tragically did get your own head out of the way enough to stop casting a shadow where you needed. So instead, you looked down at him with an eyebrow raised.

“How injured are you, really?” You questioned, pink-tinged alcohol wipe still in hand.

“So injured,” he fake-whined, settling his hands on your thighs.

“I’m sure.” But you made no move to leave, instead leaning in and getting back to work cleaning up the area.

Sungchan provided no more obvious distraction to you as you did so, seeming content to just smooth his thumbs over your clothed thighs and trace shapes there with his fingers. When you were finally able to see where the skin was split, you frowned, using your fingers to part his hair and inspect how far back it went.

“How long do I have, Doc?” He joked.

“You’ll live, but the bandages aren’t going to help the part that’s in your hair,” you forewarned. “That means be gentle when shampooing while its healing.”

“Sounds complicated. What if I mess it up? I think you should do it for me,” he suggested with a smirk, fingertips playing with the hem of your sweatshirt— well, really it was his sweatshirt, but he’d forfeited it to you some time ago.

“Is there something about getting injured that just turns you into a horndog?” You scoffed. For emphasis, you pinched the sliver of skin on his stomach that was exposed where his own t-shirt had ridden up above the hem of his pants and boxers.

He sat up then, forcing you to lean back to avoid smacking faces, but he just chased you forward until you were nearly nose-to-nose.

“No, there’s something about you being so worried and taking such good care of me that makes me want to show you how much I adore… you… back...” He punctuated the last three words with kisses that went up your neck to your jaw.

You looked up at the ceiling, as if pretending to consider this reason. But the happy smile that was working its way across your lips clearly gave away the fact that your mind was already made up. You snaked a hand between the two of you to push him back against the couch by the chest and hold him there.

“Alright, but at least let me put this Gengar bandage on you first, hm?”

ii. you are so beautifully, so brutally out of comprehension, and how lonely i was in the before and after

With a sigh, you rolled over in bed and checked the time. One hour until Sungchan was supposed to pick you up. It felt like somebody was slowly squeezing your head in some kind of medieval torture machine. There was no way this migraine was going away before your date. When it’d come on within thirty minutes of you waking up, you were hopeful that it’d pass and you could still make it, but clearly you had no such luck.

You sullenly drafted your text to him.

[you: hey, channie, im really sorry about this. i know we were supposed to go skating this afternoon but i’ve got a migraine, so i have to cancel]

Of all the dates that you had to flake out on. Sungchan had been really excited to take you to the rink during one of their open skate times, to share something he loved with you, and you were looking forward to it too. While you weren’t the best at ice skating, you were going to have the captain of the hockey team with you, so you hadn’t been too terribly concerned about your safety. The way his eyes had lit up when you said yes in the first place. God... you felt awful. In the back of your mind, you knew that you were just going to reschedule but still, it just made your head hurt worse to think about.

Ten minutes later, and he had texted back.

[channie: do you want some company?]

[you: ah, you really don’t have to. i’m sure you’ve got other things you need to do]

[channie: 1. i already cleared out my day for you 2. i want to be there with you and 3. i’m already outside]

You smiled at the harsh, painful light of your phone screen, reading the third bulletpoint over again as you typed your response.

[you: spare key under the fucked up looking gnome]

The door to your bedroom was slowly opened just a few moments later, and you wordlessly rolled over in bed to make room for Sungchan to slip under your blankets with you. You rolled back over practically on top of him and buried your face in his chest, happy to have something else to block out the light aside from your blackout curtains. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your hair. The corners of your mouth quirked up fondly.

“Hey...” You mumbled a greeting.

“Hey,” he murmured. “How bad is it?”

“Not as bad as the one from Halloween,” you reassured him, throwing an arm around his waist. “No lobotomizing or anything. Just... hurts.”

“That’s... good, I guess.”

“You put my key back under the gnome? Or did you bring it in?”

“Put it back. Also why do you have that fucked up looking gnome?”

“I saw him on clearance and he was just so horrible, I had to have him. So now I hide my spare key under him.”

You didn’t know if Sungchan had found your answer satisfactory, or just decided to leave the topic be for your migraine’s sake, but he said nothing more. His arms shifted a bit tighter around you, and you could sense his sour mood without even needing to see his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“What?”

“My Sungchannie…” You said in a hushed, teasing sing-song tone. “You make a terrible cuddle buddy when you’re this tense.” You poked his stomach for emphasis, which was solid as a brick wall. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, sorry.” He readjusted again, and you did feel his muscles relax a little under you. “You’ve got a migraine, you shouldn’t be asking me what’s wrong.”

“Well, we already know what’s wrong with me. So, what’s wrong with you?”

He let out a deep sigh. “It’s weird. When one of the guys gets hurt on the ice, I can see where they’re hurt and either slap a bandage on them myself or take them to someone who can. But when you’re hurting, my girl... I can’t do any of those things. I hate it.”

“Just you being here makes me feel better, Channie.” You squinted one eye open so you could reach a hand up to gently stroke his cheek. “I promise.”

“If you say so.”

Despite his melancholy words, he turned his head quickly to give a fleeting smooch to the tip of your thumb before you dropped it back down to lay the hand flat on his chest.

“And... ‘your girl?’” You asked slyly, wishing that there wasn’t a thick hoodie between his bare chest and your hand in that moment, as you were sure you would’ve been able to feel his heartbeat jump under your fingertips.

His eyes widened minutely as his head tilted in confusion. “Are-Are you not?”

“No, I am. Definitely.” You contentedly squished your cheek against his front.

“And I’m your guy. Right?”

“As if that could even be a question,” you giggled, the words punctuated by a yawn. “Yes.”

“Good,” he breathed out in relief, and you finally felt him truly relax underneath you. “Uhm, I’m keeping you up, sorry. You should go to sleep.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “My sleepy girl.”

“Mm, okay. Goodnight,” you mumbled, rolling over in his arms and letting your thoughts fully drift away.

“Love you...”

Sungchan continued staring down at you as your breathing evened out. The words seemed to have come out of your mouth as naturally as your breaths, and he fought back the urge to shake you awake again so he could say them back to you. Instead, he brushed your hair away from your face, planting a couple gentle kisses on your temple before scooting into his spot as big spoon for today and settling in for the duration of your sleep.

“I love you too,” he murmured into the crook of your neck, letting his own eyes close as he replayed the memory of you saying it first.

You woke up not even knowing your own name.

After taking a few seconds to properly come to and get reoriented from your migraine nap, you turned to your other side, immediately greeted by Jung Sungchan with such a tender look on his face that you had the breath knocked out of you.

Finally, you coughed out, “Hi...”

“Hey,” he smiled softly. “Sleep good?”

“Mhm... What time is it? How long did I sleep?”

“A few hours, it’s almost eight.”

“Cool, there goes my non-existent sleep schedule.”

He laughed quietly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. I mean, blegh, but no migraine. Just... eugh.”

“The way you classify feeling good and bad fascinates me,” he commented.

You shuffled onto your back, staring up at your ceiling. “It’s all relative. One of my good days looks different from another chronically ill person’s good days. Same with my bad days. And no two abled people’s good and bad days look the same either. I mean, before I had migraines, I wasn’t out there being a hockey superstar like you. So yeah, right now I feel blegh and eugh, but in comparison to before my nap, that’s pretty good.”

“Huh.” Sungchan flopped onto his back too. “I mean, I guess I kind of knew that but... never really thought it through like that.”

“It’s a working theory,” you shrugged. “I’ve only been like this for... a little less than four years? And I’ll have these for, you know, the rest of my life. So, I’ll continue to refine it as time goes on.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“What?”

“You’re really going to have migraines for the rest of your life?”

“Yeah. Unless some miracle cure is discovered in my lifetime. It’s a lifelong condition.”

“That’s… damn.”

You let out a chuckle. “It took a while for it to sink in for me, too. When my neurologist mentioned it at my first appointment, it was like, whatever, but now four years later… yeah, it’s really starting to sink in that this is my life.”

“Woah…”

“Anyway, I’m sorry again about ice skating. I know you were really excited for it.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll go another day,” he promised. “Thank you for letting me be here, with you.”

You pushed yourself up to sit cross-legged, and put your hand over his that he’d been resting on his chest. “Thank you for coming, Sungchan.”

His face scrunched up. “What’s with calling me that? Am I in trouble?”

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys…”

“One of what guys?”

“As soon as they get a nickname or a term of endearment they won’t answer to their government name anymore.”

“It’s not that, it’s just… it feels like I’m in trouble. Like, am I not your Sungchannie anymore? Am I not baby or baby boy to you anymore? I’m no longer Channie?”

“You’re not in trouble,” you told him, slotting your fingers with his. “But… as a literary student, I understand the importance of diction and the symbolism of names.”

“Yeah, exactly.” He nodded firmly.

You snickered, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you for being here with me, my Sungchannie.”

He caught the back of your head with his other hand before you could sit up all the way, guiding your lips down to his. It was a sweet, lingering kiss, which neither of you moved to deepen nor rush. When his hand fell from your hair, you straightened back up, smiling down at him fondly.

“Well, are you ready for dinner?” You asked. “I was thinking frozen pizza and very quiet movies. Unless you can’t stay the night.”

“No, I can stay.” He nodded, propping himself up on his elbows. “That sounds great. Whatever you want.”

“Perfect.”

You climbed out of bed, taking a second to get to your feet before heading for your bedroom door. Sungchan was still under the covers, though, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. You stopped at the threshold of the door, turning around to look at him.

“Channie?”

“Hm?”

“By the way…” You paused, letting silence descend for a couple seconds as he patiently waited for you to finish. “I love you.”

You immediately darted away towards your kitchen, laughing as you heard him scrambling to get out of bed and chase after you.

“Hey, come back!” He cried out, and you swore you heard the thud of an elbow or a knee bumping into a piece of furniture or a doorframe. “I need to say it back to you! Baby!”

You couldn’t run very far, sliding across your kitchen tile on your socks before skidding to a stop in front of your fridge. Sungchan came barreling around the corner right after you, wild-eyed, clutching his elbow and out of breath.

“No fair…” he whined. “You got a head start and I hit my funny bone on your door.”

“Your legs are like twice as long as mine!” You pointed out. “I think that’s just equity.”

“And my funny bone?”

“I’m sorry about your funny bone, baby boy. Want me to kiss it better?”

“In a second.”

“Alright,” you giggled, waiting patiently for him to finish his point.

“You know what’s not equitable?” He asked with his hands on his hips, slowly advancing towards you.

“Aside from you busting your funny bone on my door?”

He’d gotten you in arm’s reach, seizing you by the waist to pull you into his chest again. “You saying it to me twice now without giving me an opportunity to say it back.”

You laughed and wriggled around in his grasp as he held steadfast to you.

“So not fair!” Sungchan complained teasingly, showering your forehead, nose, and cheeks in kisses.

“Maybe it’s a good thing you’re not an athlete, you don’t play fair,” he chastised you. “Being so unbelievably cute while I’m trying to prove a point here.”

With another loud smooch to the top of your head, Sungchan let you go, removing you from him and holding you at arm’s length by the shoulders. You raised your eyebrows as you eyed the several kitchen tiles of space between the two of you.

“Very romantic, Channie.”

“Ahh, well I can’t think when you’re so close to me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. However you need to.”

“No, you’re right, come back here.” He pulled you flush to his front again, cupping your cheeks to tilt your face up to look at him.

You looped your arms around his waist, offering him a sweet smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he echoed, stroking his thumbs over your cheekbones. Sungchan looked over your features fondly, his lips twitching as he was clearly trying and failing to suppress a giddy grin. “I love you. I love you. And, I love you.”

You chuckled at him having to say it the third time, as your whole body buzzed with joy. Yeah, your insides were never going to un-mush at this rate. They’d been long gone since your first date.

“I love you too, my Sungchannie.” You gave him a gentle kiss, feeling him smile against your lips.

iii. i hear the secret whisperings of the world in the curves of all your bursts of laughter

Sitting in a stadium seat at the ice rink one afternoon, you watched the team’s practice as you waited for your boyfriend. Well, half-watching the practice. Now that the semester was over, you wanted to catch up on your personal reading list with the free time.

A sudden bang on the barrier in front of you made you startle and look up from your book. It surprisingly wasn’t Sungchan, but two other players—23 and 24.

You slowly waved at Jeno and Yangyang before turning your eyes back down to your reading. That just started up more fervent banging on the plastic and indistinct shouting from them.

“Oh my God! What?” You yelled back, tucking your bookmark into the pages.

Their words were indistinguishable though, because of the barrier, distance, and the fact that they were talking over each other.

“Hold on!” You huffed. Standing up and picking your way down through the rows until you were directly in front of them, you asked, “Okay, what? One at a time.”

“Are you coming to movie night tonight—” Jeno started.

“—at the Puck Pad?” Yangyang finished.

Your brow furrowed as you stared at their shining eyes as if they had just said a normal thing to you. “I’m sorry, the what?”

“Movie night?” Jeno repeated.

“You seriously think that’s what I’m confused about? I know what a fucking movie night is, Jeno,” you rolled your eyes. “What the hell is the ‘Puck Pad?’”

The two of them exchanged a look before Yangyang spoke up, “Where your boyfriend lives? The house that me, Sungchan, Ten, and Sicheng all rent.”

“The team is having a movie night there tonight!” Jeno reiterated. “We were just wondering if you were coming too.”

You blinked at them. “I’ve never heard Sungchan, Sicheng, nor Ten call the house that. Are you sure it’s not just you, Yangyang?”

Yangyang ignored your question with one of his own, “Are you coming?”

“Yeah, Sungchan mentioned some movies at his place tonight. I’ll be there.”

“Awesome!” They said in unison.

“So… the Puck Pad?” You asked abruptly as Sungchan came out of the locker room, your arms crossed and head tilted.

His elated smile dropped off his face as a bewildered look of confusion took over, and his arms fell down to his sides from where he’d been holding them out for a hug. “What…? Who told you about that?”

“So you do call your house that?”

“Look, we joked about that like once or twice when we moved in last year. It’s not like there’s a sign up or anything.”

“And you didn’t want to tell me about this because…?”

“It’s lame and makes us sound like a bunch of losers.”

“But you are.”

“Unh!” He held a fist over his chest as if he were grabbing some invisible weapon that he’d just been stabbed with. Clutching onto your shoulder with his other hand, he slowly started leaning more and more of his weight onto you as he made more fake noises of pain. “Oof! Oh God… Oh, that hurt, Y/N… My own girl… Ugh… Agh…”

Giggling, you had to change your stance to keep the both of you up as he was fully slumped against you. You let out a grunt of exertion as you readjusted to push on his chest and prop him back up into a somewhat standing position.

“Channie, get up!” You complained as he just flopped back over on you, bringing another bout of laughter from you as you struggled to keep the both of you up. “Channie! Seriously, you’re such a baby! Just a big loser baby!”

“Yeah, but I’m your big loser baby, right?” He teased, supporting just enough of his weight to be able to look you in the face as he pouted at you pointedly.

You pinched his bottom lip just a bit meanly. “Yeah, and you’d better not forget it. Now can we go? You do know that the team has been staring like the whole time waiting for us, right?”

The guys were all crowded up by the automatic doors in a huddle, in various stages of pretending not to watch and very obviously looking and snickering among themselves. Donghyuck and Yangyang were in the latter, the two underclassmen feeling rather brave tonight as Yangyang yelled out first.

“Come on, loser baby! We’re waiting!”

“Yang, it was big loser baby, actually,” Donghyuck corrected him facetiously.

“Right, of course,” Yangyang nodded seriously. “Come on, you big, stinking, whining loser baby!”

Sungchan straightened up, all humor drained from his features as he snapped his fingers and pointed at them. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Are you ready to go, Channie?” Jeno joined in.

“Don’t fucking call me that!” The captain shot back, grabbing your hand as he started leading the way over.

“Seriously, guys,” you spoke up once you had joined the pack of hockey players heading out of the rink. “Don’t call him Channie, please.”

Sungchan’s house—The Puck Pad—was a close enough walk that on nights like this, where the team would hold movie nights or other team events after hockey practice, the players would all leave their cars at the house beforehand and walk over. So you all had a roughly twenty-minute walk back there now, a gaggle of hockey players, their practice bags, a couple gear bags, and you.

“Why not?” Donghyuck fake-whined.

“Well for one, he asked you not to. That should be enough,” you retorted. “And two, that’s my nickname for him. Come up with your own instead of stealing mine.”

“Since you asked so nicely, okay.”

“Thanks, Hyuck.”

A phone alarm suddenly went off just a moment later, and you calmly turned it off from your watch before rummaging through the tote bag on your shoulder.

“Evening?” Sungchan asked knowingly, watching as you tipped out one pill after another into your palm, then grabbed your water bottle.

“Mhm.” You confirmed before knocking them back in several rounds. The two of you were thankfully towards the back of the group, so they didn’t notice when you had to stop and start every time you had difficulty swallowing your sips of water.

When you closed up your tote bag, took his hand in yours, and continued down the sidewalk at a brisk pace intent on catching up with the others, a frown cut across Sungchan’s face. “Aren’t you supposed to take those with food?”

“Forgot to restock the go bag with snacks yesterday. I’ll live taking one dose without it,” you shrugged. “Besides, we’re going to be at your place soon anyway, I’ll eat there.”

Sungchan reached into his practice bag, fishing out a slightly misshapen protein bar, “Here. Sorry, it got a little crushed.”

“Oh, you don’t—”

He tore open the wrapper with his teeth, then pushed it into your hand that wasn’t holding his. “Y/N, eat it.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

At The Puck Pad—which you were learning, it turns out, the entire team calls the house when nobody else is around—you ended up being pretty glad for the protein bar Sungchan had given you on your way over. You only ate half of it before you got to the house, but the guys were so disorganized that it wasn’t until almost two hours after you’d arrived that everybody was finally settled in the living room with popcorn, candy, pizza, beer (soda and water for you), and a movie playing on the TV.

You and Sungchan had a plush, reclining armchair to yourselves, tucked cozily under a blanket. Sungchan had an arm around your waist holding you close to him as the other moved between his plate that was balanced on the armrest with a stack of pizza slices, and the small end table where your drinks sat. You were happily curled up into his side, head resting in the crook between his shoulder and his chest, and your legs in his lap as you propped your own plate up on your knees to eat from.

The guys had picked a horror movie first—one without jumpscares, as both you and Mark hated them. Blood, gore, body horror, or psychological thriller didn’t faze you, but under no circumstances could you handle jumpscares. Mark, on the other hand, didn’t care for horror movies in general and would only tolerate them if everybody else wanted to watch it. His hard line was jumpscares, though, which you two could agree on. So everybody had checked over multiple websites to be sure that this specific movie definitely didn’t have any jumpscares. Just lots of blood, as you were now finding out.

“Gross, dude…” Mark muttered under his breath from the couch. When you looked over at him, you could see his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the screen with a curled lip of disgust.

“Ugh, he had all those frogs inside him?” Yangyang pretended to gag, not looking away from the screen for a second.

“Good thing Hendery already went home for the holidays, huh?” Ten laughed, tossing a piece of popcorn into his mouth from where his head was pillowed in Sicheng’s lap.

Chenle, who had also been invited, snorted with amusement. “Hendery would be climbing the fuckin’ walls right now.”

“I’m with Mark, this is fucking nasty.” You shook your head, turning to bury your face in Sungchan’s chest. “Let me know when there’s no more frogs doing gross stuff to people’s internal organs.”

“You can pick next, baby. Promise.” Sungchan wrapped two arms around you. He leaned in even closer to you to whisper, “Please pick something not scary.”

Once the horror movie was over, you proudly picked a Christmas rom-com, making sure to get one that had the perfect balance of a low critics’ score and high audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, was at least as old as you, had a low budget, and starred two famous actors that hadn’t gotten their big break as of filming.

When Jeno tried to grumble, you merely stuck your tongue out at him. “‘Tis the fucking season, Jeno!”

“Oh, fuck yeah! Christmas movie!” Yangyang cheered through a mouthful of pizza, walking back into the living room with a newly filled plate of slices. “Jeno, did we already have this one on our list?”

“List?” You asked with facetious innocence.

“Jeno and I marathon shitty Hallmark Christmas movies every year when we go to his parents’ place on break,” the junior explained, plopping down into his spot next to his friend. “He keeps the list in the notes on his phone, so I wanted to make sure he checked it off if we had it on there.”

While your immediate instinct had been to tease Jeno like the other guys were doing, something Yangyang said caught your attention instead.

“Wait, Yangyang, you go to Jeno’s parents’ place on break? You don’t go home?”

“My parents don’t live here. I’m originally from here, but we moved abroad when I was a kid. They still live there. The holiday break we get for hockey is too short to make it all the way out there.” He shrugged, taking another huge bite of pizza. “Jeno’s family is super cool. His mom about lost it when she heard that I’d be staying at school for the holidays my freshman year, insisted Jeno bring me home. So I go every year now.”

“And you two binge Hallmark movies together,” Chenle cooed, pinching their cheeks in unison. “The bestest of fwiends.”

Jeno shook his head and rolled his eyes, but there was no denying the bright grin on his face when Yangyang talked about staying with his family, or when he snuck his phone out to open the notes app and covertly check something off on a list that you couldn’t quite read from the other side of the room.

The movie ended up being actually a really good laugh. Both intentionally and unintentionally. Some of the jokes still held up after all these years, which surprised you, and also, the movie was just funny bad sometimes, which was even better. You found your cheeks hurting from how much you were laughing by the end of it, and surrounded by similar smiles on your friends’ faces. Which made it all the more enjoyable. The ending was the perfect amount of cheesy, sweet, funny, and satisfying, and felt like the perfect way to finish off your own night.

As the credits started rolling, still with a smile lingering on your lips, you turned to Sungchan, only to find him already gazing fondly at you.

“Oh. Hi…” You squeaked softly, completely caught off guard.

“Hi, baby,” he murmured back. “Good pick, by the way.”

“Not too scary, I hope.”

“Well, I had my girl there to protect me from that terrifying small-town baker and the down on his luck yet equally terrifying single dad, you know.”

The rest of the guys were having a debate about the next movie to watch—Pride and Prejudice (2005), Donghyuck’s idea vs. The Amazing Spider-Man (yes, Andrew Garfield), Mark’s idea. A debate that was expeditiously devolving into a very loud argument, so you weren’t particularly worried about them hearing the quiet, playful conversation that you and your boyfriend were having in the couple of inches of space between your heads.

“Always happy to protect my guy from the horrors of cheesy rom-coms,” you quipped back. “Anyway, I think I’m about done. Unless you want to watch whatever they end up picking?”

Sungchan shook his head minutely. “Apparently Hyuck’s been watching that movie like every day since this girl in his Brit Lit class rejected him like two weeks ago—”

“You need a better fucking coping mechanism than Keira Knightly, dude!” Mark’s exasperated voice rang through the living room.

“Would you rather I take up heroin, then?” Donghyuck screeched back.

“No! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” The frat president groaned. “I meant like Tinder or something!”

“Oh, really great advice from my Big here! I should go get myself an STD or 7 because he doesn’t want to watch one movie with me!”

“It’s not one movie, this is the fifteenth time this month, Hyuck! And you know we have condoms in the house, man! Use them!”

“And that’s our cue,” Sungchan declared only to you, nudging you towards the front of the armchair.

You scooted off his lap, getting to your feet and stretching as your boyfriend spoke over the still-bickering Nu Chi brothers. “Alright guys, we’re done for the night. See you.”

A couple of the spectators gave you two ‘goodnight’s, but everyone else was still locked into Mark and Donghyuck squabbling match as the Little was now fake-sobbing into Sicheng’s arms about how his Big couldn’t care less about him and his safety and maybe he should go get every single sexually transmitted disease if it’ll make Mark’s life easier. Mark turned towards the closest wall and started banging his forehead against it as you and Sungchan headed up the stairs.

The Puck Pad was three floors and an attic. All of the shared family spaces were on the first floor: the kitchen, living room, dining room, laundry room, and a half bathroom; the second floor had two bedrooms and one bathroom, currently inhabited by Ten and Sicheng; and the third floor had two* more bedrooms and one and a half more bathrooms, occupied by Yangyang and Sungchan. Being the captain, when divvying up the rooms, the other three just kind of shrugged and gave Sungchan what was technically the master bedroom. It was at the end of the hallway, and while it wasn’t that much bigger than the rest of the bedrooms, it was the only one with an en suite bathroom. You would hesitantly call this a four bedroom house, as you were pretty sure that Yangyang’s room wasn’t actually supposed to be a bedroom. At least not when the house was built. The layout of the bathrooms had been your first clue, with there being just a half bath for him to use—he had to either go down one floor to use Ten and Sicheng’s shower or into Sungchan’s bedroom to use his shower—and the fact that the doors (yes, doors, plural, he had two doors to his very normal-sized bedroom, one of which was the actual entrance and exit from the hallway and the other, which was in an interior wall, could not be opened, despite having a handle and hinges) looked like they had been added decades after the frames had been built. You were stumped as to what the room could’ve originally been, but you were confident that it wasn’t a bedroom, at least. It was something that puzzled and mystified you every time you came over.

Donghyuck and Mark were either done with their spat, or the sounds of it couldn’t carry at the way up here. Either way, you were going to be well onto your way to dreamland soon as you settled down for the night with Sungchan, having done your nighttime routine, changed into your pajamas, and gleefully climbed under the covers.

“Are the other guys staying the night?” You asked Sungchan as he readjusted his pillow next to you to get comfy.

“Don’t know,” he said. “Usually they will if they drink a bit too much, or if they just don’t feel like going all the way home then having to come back this way for Saturday morning practice.”

You made a noncommittal noise, still ruminating over your half-idea in your own mind as you laid there with your eyes shut. The mattress and the sheets shifted beside you as Sungchan curled up behind you, resting a hand on your waist.

“Why are you asking?” He questioned curiously.

“Hyuck…” You sighed, placing your hand over his and slotting your fingers together. “Worried about him, is all.”

“It was some girl in his class that he’d talked to like once in the whole semester. He’ll be okay. Donghyuck’s just got to get the dramatics out of his system first.”

“Even so… Even if he’s just a bit bummed or whatever… Isn’t that what friends are for? To make you feel better when you’re bummed out?” You mused.

“Yeah, I guess so. That’s what Mark’s been trying to do, and he just ended up watching Pride and Prejudice fourteen times.”

You let out a soft burst of air, a quiet chuckle, at that. “Taking one—or, fifteen—for the team.”

Sungchan’s chest shook with a couple silent laughs.

“But really— Can you bring him back here after morning practice tomorrow? I want to take him out. Get his mind off it.”

“Yeah, sure. We can do something.”

“Ah, Channie, I was kind of thinking just me and Hyuck.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you guys pick on him.”

“He picks on us!”

“Baby?”

“Alright, alright,” he relented. “I’ll bring Donghyuck back after practice tomorrow for your little friend date.”

You turned your head to be able to press a fleeting peck to the tip of his nose. “Thank you, baby.”

“But I’m making you breakfast. You two will have to figure out something else.”

In the morning, you were faintly aware of an alarm going off early before it was quickly shut off and you rolled over in bed, burying your face in your pillow. Beyond your eyelids, it was still absolute darkness. You could feel the shifting of the mattress beside you and the press of a gentle kiss to your temple as you quickly sank under the calm waters of sleep once more.

You were half-awoken again some time later, a faint light streaming into your consciousness as the covers shifted once again, and a presence enveloped you from behind that hadn’t been there before. Letting out a peaceful sigh, you listened to the sounds of yours and Sungchan’s breathing as they eventually synced up, and you drifted back off without even realizing it.

Fluttering your eyes open, you groaned softly against the bright morning sunlight. After a couple seconds of squinting and blinking, your eyes had adjusted for the most part, and you rolled onto your other side. Sungchan smiled at you fondly as you rubbed at one of your eyes.

“You awake?” He asked quietly.

“Yep, ‘m up,” you offered a bleary thumbs up. “Just don’t make me solve any differential equations or whatever the fuck. Actually, don’t make me do that when I’m at full capacity either.”

He laughed softly, cradling the back of your head to pull you forward and press a kiss to your forehead. “Good morning, baby.”

“Mornin’ Channie,” you said back, punctuated by a yawn. “How was practice?”

“It was good. Donghyuck’s playing video games in the living room with Yangyang, by the way.”

“Good, good.”

“I think that was our smoothest Saturday morning yet. Were you able to go back to sleep okay?”

“Oh, yeah. I don’t even remember waking up at all, really.”

“Success,” he grinned.

You momentarily closed your eyes again, enjoying the peaceful moment as you let your body slowly work towards fully waking up. Sungchan gently stroked the backs of his fingers up and down your arm, and you relaxed even further under his touch.

“I like waking up next to you,” he admitted softly. You squinted one eye back open to look at him as he continued. “Doing it twice in one morning… I think that’s the most I’ve ever loved somebody.”

Shooting up just to push him back against the mattress, you held him there by the shoulders, your grip so tight it probably would’ve hurt if he wasn’t already used to much worse on the ice. He looked up at you with wide eyes.

“Are you trying to kill me, Jung Sungchan?” You accused. “Saying stuff like that to me first thing in the morning, I could melt into a puddle and never re-form! My heart could explode!”

“You don’t think my heart feels like it’s going to explode when I wake up and see you next to me first thing in the morning?” He huffed back. “That just sounds like equity, baby.”

“You don’t know the meaning of that word.”

“Maybe so…”

With a final shake of your head, you let go of him and fell onto your back next to him. He propped himself up on an elbow on his side so he could see you, the beginnings of a pout on his face.

“And what’s that pout for?” You teased, already with a sneaking suspicion.

“Oh, nothing…” He picked up one of your hands, dropping a line of kisses to the back of it and up your wrist and lower arm.

“Okay,” you played along with a smile on your face. “Because I was just thinking that I’ve been awake for a whole five minutes with no good morning kiss. But if it’s nothing, then—”

You couldn’t even finish your sarcastic dramatics before Sungchan had captured your lips with his in a sweet but intense kiss that pressed your head back into the pillow just a little bit. Curling your fingers in the hair at the back of his head and grabbing a fistful of his t-shirt with your other hand, you pulled him even closer, wanting to just be able to melt into each other completely like it felt like your mouths were doing.

Another alarm suddenly went off in the bedroom, different from the one that had gone off in the wee hours of the morning, and you broke the kiss for just a second to snooze it on your smart watch.

“Oh! Your meds.” Sungchan immediately looked over towards his dresser where your go bag was sitting safely.

“I snoozed it; I’ll take them in a few minutes,” you reassured him, grabbing his face to pull his lips back to yours.

He indulged you for a few seconds until you reached a natural break for air, where he instead pecked your cheek before sitting back on his feet. “I’ll grab them for you, I don’t mind.”

With that, he clambered off the bed and over towards the dresser.

It was impossible to get mad at him though as he so eagerly went to help. You were instead filled with such an overwhelming fondness and joy, unable to do much but smile tenderly at him. “Oh, Channie… thank you.”

“Morning, morning, morning,” he muttered to himself as he rooted through your tote bag to pull out the various pill bottles. “That’s… half of this one, one of these, and… one of this? Oh, and you just added this one, too. And your blood pressure cuff.”

“A-plus, Nurse Jung.” You beamed up at him as you sat up in bed, getting in the correct position to take your vitals with the cuff.

He came over to you, dropping your meds in your waiting palm. You looked over the colorful pills momentarily, pleased to see that he’d gotten it exactly correct. After taking them with your water that was on his nightstand, you held out your hand for him to give you your cuff. But instead, he undid the Velcro and went to loop it around your wrist himself, brows furrowing as he concentrated on the task at hand.

“How’s that?” He asked once he had it secured.

“It’s a little too close to my hand, actually, but good first try.” You undid the band, scooting it to the proper position. “It should be a little further above my wrist bone.”

“Okay. Got it.”

The two of you were silent as you waited for your cuff to take your blood pressure and heartrate, the only sounds that of your breathing and the usual ones of the device in operation. After the final beep and deflation, you brought your wrist down from your chest to look at the screen.

“Is that good?” Sungchan asked, focused on the results as well.

“Well these are my pre-dose numbers. And they’re actually a little lower than normal,” you explained, typing them into your health record on your phone with your free hand. “Only by 10 points, but that means that depending on the post-dose I’ll probably just have to keep a closer eye on my numbers today.”

“So now we set a timer for 30 minutes.”

“Yep,” you did so with just a couple more taps on your phone. “And in the meantime, you make me breakfast like you promised.”

“On it.” He smooched your temple, his hands tentatively reaching towards your wrist. “Can I take your blood pressure cuff off you now?”

“Of course.”

He gently peeled off the strap with a rip of the Velcro, standing back up to put it away in its case. Holding the cuff in its hard carrying case in one hand, he offered his other out to you, and you gladly took it, getting it to your feet.

“Hold on a sec…” You muttered, squeezing your eyes shut as you got light-headed for a moment, bright lights flashing in your vision.

“I got you, baby,” Sungchan murmured, pressing his arm to yours and grabbing your other shoulder with his hand—he must have set your cuff down or put it in his pocket.

Once you felt stable on your own two feet again, which took just a few seconds, you blinked a couple times, then smiled up at him. “Okay, ready.”

Downstairs, you could hear video game sounds as you emerged into the kitchen, accompanied by the muffled shouting of three voices. Yangyang, Donghyuck, and that last one had to be Ten, it wasn’t nearly deep enough to be Sicheng. You sat up in the corner of their kitchen counter to watch Sungchan as he cooked, occasionally in the way, but he never asked you to move, and you never offered. It was a simple breakfast, but nothing could beat the proud, happy grin on his face as he held your plate out to you.

“It looks great,” you told him, patting his cheek. “Thank you, Channie.”

“Anything for my girl,” he replied, absolutely beaming as he leaned in to give you a soft kiss. You could feel the curl of his smile against your lips.

The two of you had just taken your first bites sat at the kitchen table when Yangyang and Donghyuck wandered in.

“Something smells good,” Yangyang announced, his eyes immediately landing on your food.

You protectively pulled your plate closer to yourself.

“There’s plenty left in the fridge to make your own,” Sungchan replied, pointing towards the kitchen.

Donghyuck plopped down in the seat directly next to the one that you and your boyfriend were jointly occupying—you were on Sungchan’s lap. The sophomore stared longingly at your breakfast.

“Didn’t you guys already eat?” You asked. “You had morning practice.”

“That was forever ago.”

“You’re not stealing my girlfriend’s food, you ungrateful little shits,” the captain glared at the both of them. “Go make your own if you’re so hungry.”

“First Mark wants me to get chlamydia, now you want me to starve,” Donghyuck bemoaned. “Will I ever have a good role model in my life?”

Sungchan fixed you with a pointed look, but you could only giggle at your friend’s dramatics.

“Daddy issues much, Hyuck?” You ruffled his hair, earning loud cackles from Yangyang, and distant laughter from Ten.

Donghyuck stared at you with a dropped jaw as you heard a couple dumbfounded sputters from Sungchan behind you. The younger player recovered quickly, though.

“What gave it away? My unhealthy attachment to older male friends that I see as reliable, or my ‘I Heart DILFs’ shirt?” He retorted sarcastically.

“You do wear that shirt a lot,” you jested back easily. He owned no such shirt to your knowledge.

“And here I thought I was being subtle.” He clicked his tongue in feigned disappointment.

“As a trainwreck,” you nodded. “You and Yang either go get your own food or shut the fuck up, okay?”

Donghyuck stood up from his chair, giving you an overzealous salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

Yangyang went to follow his friend with a shake of his head. “Mommy issues much, bro?”

You couldn’t contain your laughs, tucking your face back into the crook of Sungchan’s neck to muffle them just a little bit. He wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you even closer to him. You kept laughing, even as he gently brushed his lips over the crinkles at the corner of your eye.

iv. because life is beautiful but life is work, so full of joy, so full of hurt

“So tell me about her,” you prompted Donghyuck as soon as the front door shut behind you two.

“What?”

“The girl that you like. Tell me about her.”

“Sungchan said you wanted to take me out to get my mind off it.” He regarded you suspiciously. “And everyone else is telling me I should just move on, stop moping and thinking about her all the time. Don’t know how talking about her more is really going to help that.”

“I heard that she was in one of your classes this semester and you two talked once. But if you’re this broken up about her… sounds like there’s more going on,” you shrugged. “If you want to tell me, I’m all ears. I know you feel like you have to ham it up for the guys all the time, make them laugh and stuff. But you don’t have to do that for me, okay? You don’t owe me entertainment in exchange for tolerating your presence or something. I’m hanging out with you right now because I want to.”

“I talked to her twice, actually. Not counting when she rejected me,” he began abruptly. “We were in the same Brit Lit class this semester, she sat in the seat in front of me. On the first day of class, she turned around to hand me the syllabus and accidentally bumped my water bottle. She smiled, apologized, and handed me the stack of papers and that was that. It’s so not me but I just, I couldn’t talk to her. It’s not just that she’s pretty—I mean she is, like the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen—but she’s so smart too. Whenever she’d answer one of the professor’s questions, she’d say something about the story that I would’ve never thought of in a million years. And like, the professor would be impressed too! But every single time I tried to hype myself up to say something, literally anything to her, I’d end up panicking and not doing it.”

“What was the other time? You said you talked to her twice, outside of when you asked her out. What was the other time, after the syllabus?”

He grimaced. “Ugh, right. I was walking across campus from the library to the parking garage one day. I was supposed to be meeting up with Mark at his car to hitch a ride back to the house. I had one of my sticks with me because I was taking it home to retape it, just sort of slung over my shoulders while I waited at the crosswalk. And it was dark, and I heard something behind me, whipped around to look, and ended up knocking her right in the eye with the butt of the stick.”

“Oh no,” you hissed sympathetically.

“I kept apologizing, but since I didn’t have my gear bag on me, just my bookbag and weapon, I didn’t have anything to patch her up with. She had some tissues in her bag thankfully… but I felt so horrible.”

“Aw, Hyuck, it was an accident. I’m sure she knows that.”

“And I felt even more horrible when I saw her in class a couple days later with that same eye black and blue.”

“Ouch…”

“And then on the last day of class, I caught up with her in the hall after turning in our finals, and I finally did it. I finally asked her out. And she said no.”

You let out a forlorn sigh, looping your arm with your friend’s. “I’m sorry, Hyuck. If it makes you feel any better, I think she’s missing out on a really great, sweet guy.”

“That doesn’t really help, but thanks, I guess.”

“I think it’s good to go ahead and be sad for a little bit, if that’s what you’re feeling.”

He let out a cynical chuckle. “I think my sadness is a bit of an inconvenience for the guys.”

“That’s not true,” you reassured him. “They’re just worried about you. You’re usually this big, unstoppable ball of sunshine. It’s like when one of you gets hurt on the ice, right? One of your teammates will slap a bandage where it hurts and you’ll keep playing. They don’t get why the bandages aren’t enough this time.”

“I don’t know if ‘ball of sunshine’ is a phrase that any of them of would use to describe me.” The corner of his lips twitched. “But thank you, Y/N. I didn’t really know what to expect when Sungchan told me that you wanted to hang out with me 1-on-1 today, considering you don’t really know me like you know some of the other guys. Like, I don’t think we’ve even been alone in a room together before, you know?”

“Huh. Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“Now I get it, though.”

“Get what?”

“Why everyone thinks you and Sungchan are gonna get married.”

“What?”

“Not like, now, but that you guys are going to, you know, make it, or whatever. Soulmates or something.”

You quirked up an eyebrow at the underclassman. “You believe in soulmates, Hyuck?”

“Yeah, I think I do. And I’m only telling you this because I don’t think you’ll call it stupid.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid. I think it’s sweet,” you reassured him, patting his shoulder. “A jock with a romantic streak, very swoon-worthy.”

“That how Sungchan got you?” He teased, elbowing you in the side lightly.

“Something like that.”

“Hmph.”

“This isn’t the end for you,” you said knowingly.

“I know, I know. Just feels like it.”

“I get it. Next time you want to watch Pride and Prejudice fourteen times, you can call me up, okay? Give Mark a break.”

“Careful, I might take you up on that.”

“Wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t serious. But for now, arcade?”

His eyes lit up at you finally revealing where the two of you were going. “Oh hell yeah! I’m so going to annihilate you at air hockey!”

“Don’t count on it,” you warned. “Sungchan’s taught me a few things.”

“Hey, baby, I’m back—” Sungchan skidded to a stop in the threshold of his bedroom, bag of delivery food in hand.

“Hey, Channie,” you smiled up at him as you were sat against his headboard. Donghyuck was curled up on top of the blankets by your legs like a cat, his head in your lap as you gently played with his hair.

“I was gone for like a minute,” your boyfriend gestured to the sophomore with bewilderment. “Does he just have a sixth sense for when you’re alone?”

“I told them they could join us for a movie.”

“Them?”

“Yo, you mind, bro?” Another voice piped up, Yangyang ducking under your boyfriend’s arm to walk in. He flopped across the foot of the bed, partially on Donghyuck’s legs.

“Oh, hey, Sungchan,” Jeno almost sounded surprised to see the captain in his own room as he followed his teammate in, laying down on his front with his arms and head resting on Yangyang’s back, and his feet up by the pillows.

“Well, I didn’t order enough for all of you,” Sungchan sighed, climbing over Jeno to settle into the empty space left beside you. “And no filching off Y/N, Donghyuck. Go downstairs and get your own food if you’re hungry.”

Hyuck tried to protest, “But—”

“Two of you don’t even live here, be grateful I let you eat as much as I do from our fridge, you’re not also getting the dinner that I bought for me and my girlfriend.”

“Fine. I’ll text Mark to bring snacks.”

“Mark, too?!”

Walking back with the guys to the Puck Pad after the last hockey practice of the calendar year, there was an elated buzz in the air now that the athletes were all finally on their own winter break. They were going over their plans for their short break: Jeno and Yangyang were going to Jeno’s parents’ the next day, Ten and Sicheng would both be leaving for their own homes tonight, meanwhile Mark and Donghyuck were both from the area, so they were staying at the Nu Chi house and just meeting up with their families on the holidays.

Realizing that you and Sungchan hadn’t really talked about your holiday plans yet, you peered up at him, about to ask, when suddenly your head started feeling light. You furrowed your brow, trying to blink away the momentary confusion as whatever you were about to say had slipped from your mind. Your head didn’t feel right on your body, but you couldn’t put your finger on what exactly it was.

Sungchan took just one look at you before letting go of your hand to instead grab your upper arm to steady you. His other hand went diving into the pockets of the practice bag in front of you, fervently searching for something.

“Dude, what the hell are you doing?” Jeno, the owner of the bag, whipped around to look at him incredulously.

“Where’s your snacks?” Sungchan was fumbling into another pocket now.

“Ate them already. I’m bulking.”

“Dude, bad idea,” Ten snorted.

“Shut up, Ten!”

Sungchan had started ransacking another teammate’s bag, and successfully pulled out a sports drink this time.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Yangyang protested.

Your boyfriend stopped and sat you on a bench nearby, cracking open the drink. “Y/N, here.”

“Bad idea to what?” You squinted your eyes up between Ten and Jeno curiously.

“Why does she need—” Yangyang was still complaining.

“Jeno’s been talking to Sugar n’ Spice,” Donghyuck answered your question, mischievous glint in his eye.

“Who—” You mumbled, but got cut off by the bottle being pushed against your lips insistently.

“Y/N,” Sungchan’s stern voice refocused you, and you obliged, taking a small sip of the sugary drink.

Ten continued filling you in, “Sugar n’ Spice and Everything Nice. One of Johnny’s old girlfriends.”

Jeno crossed his arms with an indignant huff, “They were not—”

“And who are you really going to believe? Johnny or her?” Donghyuck retorted.

“You didn’t even go here when they—”

“Guys, shut the hell up!” Mark finally snapped at all of them, gesturing to your general unwell demeanor.

“Oh shit dude.” Yangyang’s eyes widened.

“Yeah.”

“Bro, she does not look good,” Jeno stated the obvious.

“She’ll be fine in a minute,” Sungchan replied, holding the bottle back up to your mouth. His voice was firm but gentle as he instructed you, “Y/N, drink some more.”

“Anyway, Jeno, no matter how much you bulk, it’s not going to make up for the inches you’re missing. Height or otherwise,” Donghyuck taunted nonchalantly.

“Lee Donghyuck, I’m going to break your fucking nose, come here!” Jeno lunged for the underclassman, only making him yelp and dart away.

“Don’t—!” Mark’s warning was cut off as Jeno chased Donghyuck down, his voice fading out as he sighed and finished quietly, “...Cause any permanent damage...”

“You okay, Y/N?” Sicheng asked, as you took a couple more small sips.

You nodded. “Just a bit low, uhm, blood sugar. I’ll be okay.”

It always took you a few minutes to realize when you were low on your own, but Sungchan could tell with just one glance at you—it made you wonder what you looked like when you got like this.

Back at the Puck Pad that evening, you had already said your goodbyes to Ten and Sicheng; and Jeno, Donghyuck, and Mark were upstairs in Yangyang’s room allegedly helping him pack. Judging by the video game sounds you could hear from the bottom of the stairs, they had gotten a little distracted. Sungchan and you had settled down in the living room to watch a movie, and with the fog lifted from your mind, you were able to remember what you were going to ask him earlier.

“Hey, Channie?” You picked your head up from his chest to be able to look at him. He was laying on his back across the whole couch, you snuggled in on top of him.

“Hm?” He looked from the TV to you.

“What are your plans?”

“Oh. Well…” He paused the movie, his hands coming to settle on your lower back and sneaking just under the hem of your (his) hoodie to trace spirals into your skin. “Our lease ends after graduation, and Yangyang’s been talking about looking for a place with Jeno, and Ten and Sicheng are probably going to get their own place. I know we haven’t talked about it yet, but every time I try to think what I’m going to do, I just imagine that we would move in together.”

Your dumbfounded silence encouraged him to go on, his voice sounding far away and dreamy.

“Like, I don’t know, being able to wake up next to you everyday, and sleep in on the weekends with you with no practice. Cooking breakfast for you every morning, even just grocery shopping together. It’s all I can think about, really.”

You finally choked out, “I-I meant for the holidays. Like, visiting family, being in town…”

His cheeks started flushing. “Right. Sorry. I’m visiting my family on Christmas Day. What about you?”

“Me too.”

“We should spend Christmas Eve together, then.”

“Yeah, sounds good. New Year’s, too?”

“Of course. Who else would I kiss at midnight?”

A fond smile spread across your lips, and you tilted your head up to give him a peck. “Of course.”

“So, uhm,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “The other thing I mentioned?”

“What are you doing after graduation? Made a decision about that PhD program?”

“Yep… more school,” he sighed.

“Me, too.” You pulled a blanket up over you two. “I think… Yeah, we can move in together. I’d really like that.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You make me so happy, baby.”

“You could just move in with me? To my apartment?” You suggested as a grin spread across your face. You were getting giddy already imagining it.

Another forehead kiss. “I would love that.”

“You make me really happy too, Channie,” you murmured, your fingertip tracing mindless figure-eights into the front of his shirt.

“I love you so much.” He cradled your face with two hands with a tenderness that made your heart ache to be a part of him in a way that you could never physically attain.

You leaned in to touch your nose to his. “I love you, too.”

Christmas Eve was just a couple days later, and instead of walking in the park amongst the freshly fallen snow, or touring the elaborate lights put up in the rich neighborhood nearby, or baking Christmas cookies while watching cheesy Christmas movies, or any of your other cute Christmas plans with Sungchan, you were bedridden with a migraine. A bad one.

You let out a soft whimper as tears welled up in your eyes, both from the pain and from pure frustration at having something else ruined for you because of these stupid migraines. Ice skating you could reschedule, but you couldn’t take a rain check on your first Christmas (Eve) together.

Sungchan curled his arms around you tighter, a steady pressure across your back. “It’s been two hours,” he murmured as quietly as possible.

“I don’t want my stupid fucking medication that isn’t fucking working,” you practically spat out, the first tears slipping down your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Sungchan pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder, careful to avoid your scalp, which currently felt like it was on fire in addition to your usual squeezing and stabbing migraine pain. Side effect from a new rescue medication your neurologist was having you try. Safe to say it wasn’t a winner.

At the distress in his own tone over his usual regrets of seeing you hurting but not being able to help, you finally broke down into open sobs. Clenching your eyes shut tight, you clung to his arms. Your chest shook with every breath as you quietly wailed, burying your face in your pillow. You couldn’t bear to turn around and see the angst on your boyfriend’s features.

“Oh, baby,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “If I could take all your pain away and put it on myself, I would. God, I’m so, so sorry.”

You could hardly talk past the solid, hard lump in your throat, at first letting out a couple more strangled sobs as your tears and spit ruined your pillowcase. When you finally blubbered something out, your voice was distraught and despondent, “Why can I never… never have nice things? Why does it feel like the world is so big and nothing can go right and it all hurts so much… and I’m just so small and my body and my brain are… so broken?”

“I don’t know, baby, I don’t know,” Sungchan replied desperately, fully weeping with you into your shoulder now. “You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry.”

You eventually fell asleep, but unlike your typical migraine naps, this one didn’t bring any sort of peace to Sungchan’s mind. Usually the naps were a good sign, you would wake up without the migraine and be relatively all better. But you’d never cried yourself to sleep during a migraine before, and having to hold a bawling you in his arms while he couldn’t do anything but apologize for being absolutely useless had left him shaken up. He didn’t think he’d be able to nap with you this time.

Sungchan didn’t dare move, keeping watch over you as you slept as if he could keep anymore pain away. He could still hear the echo of his heart breaking into a million pieces the moment you’d started crying.

Your head still fucking hurt. But this was a different throbbing than before, and was definitely from the heavy crying you’d done earlier. You groaned, covering your eyes and sniffling.

You could hear Sungchan’s breathing next to you, but he didn’t say anything as you rolled over to bury your face in his neck. Letting out a deep sigh, you found that you were dried out, unable to summon more tears. Finally, you spoke, “What time is it?”

God, your throat was dry.

“Six forty-five…” he replied softly.

“Well, Merry Christmas, Channie,” you grumbled.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Do you think it’s too late to go see the Christmas lights?”

You could feel him tense up under you.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to make yourself do anything for me, baby,” he reassured you, rubbing your back.

“I want to…” You insisted. “I just… probably need my earplugs. And sunglasses.”

“Of course, whatever you want.”

“And then we can come back and do eggnog pancakes?” You asked hopefully. The migraine had started right before Sungchan could start cooking this morning, so you weren’t able to enjoy your promised festive breakfast prepared by your boyfriend.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“And then presents.”

“Like I said, anything my girl wants.”

And so Sungchan drove you around in his car with the radio off, your sunglasses on like it wasn’t dusk right then, and earplugs in to drown out the sounds of passing traffic. The two of you were silent through the whole ride, communicating solely by squeezing the other’s hand that was laced with yours over the center console, pointing at any lights and decorations that either of you particularly liked, and smiling and nodding in acknowledgement.

When you got back to your apartment, you took off your sunglasses and earplugs to plop yourself down at your kitchen table while Sungchan once again brought out ingredients. He hummed Christmas carols while he cooked, and you rested your cheek in your hand to watch him fondly as he bustled around.

Your head was still throbbing, and you winced as you pulled your hood up and gathered your knees to your chest. As Sungchan opened the fridge to put the eggnog away, you saw him pull something else out, a familiar box.

“When is your injection?” He asked quietly, holding the container up.

You scrunched your nose as you brought out your phone to check your calendar. “It’s… oh shit, today.”

“I’ll leave it out to warm up.” He set it on the counter before going over to your stove and setting a timer for an hour.

You were supposed to wait at least 30 minutes after the medication left the fridge to inject it, but you liked to wait closer to an hour or two to make sure it had fully come to room temperature, to reduce any injection pain.

The pancakes were ready soon, and Sungchan and you ate them on the couch, the odd bits of conversation floating around between bites.

“So what are you and your family doing tomorrow?” Sungchan rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Oh, dinner’s at my parents’ place. I’ll pop over to Chenle’s family’s Christmas, too. They’re just across the street,” you hummed. “We don’t do a lot, but everyone comes over, so it’ll be a packed house.”

“That’s nice.”

“What about you, Channie? Any Christmas traditions?”

“You’re eating it,” he said proudly. “My dad always makes eggnog pancakes on Christmas morning. Then we go to my grandparents’ house for the day.”

You couldn’t wade through the slop that your mind was covered in to be able to aptly express how you felt about Sungchan sharing one of his family’s Christmas traditions with you, so instead you turned your head to press a long kiss to his cheek, squeezing his forearm appreciatively. He seemed to get the message, and moved his head to be able to kiss you gently.

“I love you, Y/N,” he mumbled against your lips. Then, pulled back just enough to look you in the eye. “I’m so glad we got to spend today together.”

You couldn’t help but bite down on your tongue bitterly at that. “Yeah, I love you too, Channie.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“My stupid migraines ruined our day! Again!” You turned away from him, dropping your face in your hands.

Immediately, one of his large hands rubbed your back while his other came to rest on your knee. “Baby, baby, my day wasn’t ruined.”

“We didn’t get to do anything how we wanted, and all I did was cry and make you cry!” You felt your eyes growing wet again. “And I’m fucking crying again!”

“I really do wish you hadn’t spent all day in pain,” he admitted. “You deserve to have the perfect Christmas Eve like all the cheesy rom-coms you like. But please don’t feel like you ruined my day or anything. I spent the whole day with my girl, which is a perfect day in my book.”

You wiped at your face messily, looking over your shoulder at him. “You really mean that?”

“Of course.”

“Even though I made you cry on Christmas? …Eve?”

“Well, it wouldn’t have been fair for you to be the only one of us who did.”

That finally made you chuckle, and Sungchan gave you a soft smile in return as he pulled you into him. You wrapped your arms around his waist, enjoying his warmth.

“Thank you, my Sungchannie,” you mumbled. “For being the most wonderful boyfriend in the whole universe.”

“The whole universe?” He repeated skeptically.

“Yep. Not even a competition.”

The kitchen timer went off then, and he gave you a final shoulder squeeze and peck to your temple before standing up and heading into the kitchen. He returned with your medication and stupidly large first aid kit. Popping the first aid kit open, he dutifully started pulling out an alcohol wipe, then an antihistamine. Sungchan had been around for your last injection by happenstance, and watched your every move carefully, so you weren’t surprised that he was able to get everything ready now.

“I don’t need that unless I break out,” you tried to point out. You weren’t allergic to the medication, but sometimes you got hives around the injection site within the first day or so just from it making your skin more sensitive.

“Baby, you always break out,” he insisted, presumably remembering when you started reacting less than an hour later last time, and all your stories about other post-injection reactions.

“No, there’s been like… a couple times I haven’t.”

He pointedly set the antihistamine down with the alcohol swab, then held up the bandage options for you to choose from.

“Mm… Sanrio,” you nodded to your newest addition. “I want a Kuromi.”

He fished out a bandaid with a Kuromi pattern on it, setting it aside. You broke the seal on the medication box as Sungchan walked into the kitchen. At the sound of running water, you looked up curiously, watching as he thoroughly washed his hands to the elbow like he was about to scrub in for an operation.

As he sat back down beside you, he held out his hands. “Can I do it?”

You froze, freshly opened box in hand. In the nearly two years that you’d been taking the injectable, you’d always done it yourself. Even your first demonstration dose at your neurologist’s office you’d done on your own to learn how to operate it. It had never occurred to you to ask anybody else to, really. Technically, the directions said you could, but you lived by yourself, had always been alone.

“If you’re okay with it,” Sungchan added after a couple beats of silence. “It’s fine if you want to do it yourself. I get it. You’ve just had a really long day, I want to help.”

“They say someone else can do the back of your arm…” You looked down at the small card of directions that you picked up out of the carton, a diagram highlighting all the possible injection areas. “But I want to be able to see it. So you’ll still have to do my thigh.”

“Okay.” He nodded seriously, accepting the box as you handed it to him.

He took a moment to study the instructions very carefully, and you opened the bandage in preparation. When he set the directions down and picked up the alcohol wipe, you rolled up the leg of your shorts and readjusted in your seat.

“I usually do it here.” You pointed to a spot, and he wiped the cool material over the area thoroughly.

Next, he grabbed the auto-injector from the box, pulling the cap off the end and dropping it back in the carton. You consciously tried to level your breathing as he paused to read the directions one more time. Sungchan pinched your skin and pulled it apart until it was properly taut.

“Do you want a countdown?” He asked.

“No, but hold on, I need to relax my muscle.” You flexed and eased your thigh a couple times, letting out a deep breath. “Okay, good.”

You kept your eyes focused just off to the side of the injection—you’ve never been able to watch needles go in you that you weren’t operating yourself, but you couldn’t fully look away this time. So instead, your gaze was on Sungchan’s forearm, the auto-injector enough in your peripheral that you could tell if something were to go wrong.

He pressed the blunt plastic tip against your skin. As requested, you had no countdown before the near-simultaneous click of the pen and prick of the needle came, followed by the stinging pain of the medication being pumped into you. You let out a slight hiss, already counting in your mind. The built-in indicator that meant the injection was over was displayed on the pen already, but you noticed that Sungchan kept holding it there until you reached your fifteen-count in your head. He had remembered from when he watched you last time, and must have been counting himself. The directions said to leave it in until the indicator showed, about 15 seconds, but you always liked to count to 15 seconds just in case, something you’d mentioned off-handedly last time.

As soon as he took the injector out and tossed it in the box on the table, you watched as a dot of blood and clear fluid—medicine—welled to the surface. Sungchan rushed to pull the bandage out, applying it to the site, catching the drop just in time before it fell down your leg. He gingerly smoothed down the ends, Kuromi smirking back up at you two.

Sungchan took the empty auto-injector into your bedroom, and you heard the telltale sound of it clanking into the plastic sharps disposal bin you kept under the bathroom sink. When he came back, you were already picking up the trash and closing up the first aid kit.

“Don’t forget your antihistamine,” he reminded you, holding out the tablet and your water bottle.

With your hands full, you leaned forward to take a sip from the straw of your bottle, then opened your mouth like a baby bird for him to drop the pill into. You swallowed it with slight difficulty, but he seemed content that you’d taken it, at least.

After everything was cleaned up, you meandered back into the living room, stopping in front of the couch to inspect the injection site with a pout.

“Is everything okay, baby?” Sungchan sat forward, brow furrowed with concern.

“Hurts…” You whined, flopping down next to him. “It didn’t use to burn after like this, but ever since my neuro upped my dose last month… it hurts.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” he pulled you closer to him with two arms around your waist.

You made a small ‘humph’ sound, habitually poking at the injection site. Ow, dumbass.

“Thank you, baby,” Sungchan mumbled into your neck. “For letting me help you.”

The genuine relief in his voice made you smile to yourself. You knew how cut up he was every time he couldn’t help during your migraines, and at first you didn’t get why he wanted to do your injection this time. After all, this was the same guy who had you come with him to get his blood drawn for his routine drug testing by disguising it as an ice cream date then suddenly remembering that he had to stop by the student health center on the way there (and jumped at your offer to come back with him to hold his hand instead of waiting in the lobby). But in his mind, doing your injection must’ve been the best he could do to help prevent you from hurting again like he’d seen today.

“Why are you the sweetest boy ever?” You whispered, kissing his hair.

Sungchan let out a muffled giggle. “Ever?”

“Ever.”

“Mm, I don’t know,” he hummed playfully. “Think I was born like this.”

“We’ve got to make sure you don’t go out in the rain, or you’ll melt,” you teased.

“I mean what I said the other day, you know. Just didn’t want to scare you… but I really do think this is the most I’ve ever loved someone. I know it hasn’t been that long, and it always feels like I’m rushing stuff with you, but it just always feels right. Everything always feels right all the time with you.”

“I knew what I was getting myself into when you said ‘I love you’ on our second date,” you reminded him, fond smile flitting across your lips.

“I thought we agreed to never talk about that again,” he grumbled.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But you were so adorable when you tried to pretend like you didn’t.”

“You were wearing my hoodie and had whipped cream on your nose and you were just so… perfect,” he defended himself, trailing off into a dreamy sigh. He smooched your cheek loudly. “Still are.”

You laughed, squirming a little bit at the sudden attack of affection, but not moving away as he peppered more overzealous kisses to your face. You instead cradled his cheek with one of your hands.

When he’d finally stopped to rest his chin on your shoulder again, you responded a bit more seriously to him, “I love you too… a lot. I don’t really have any romantic metric, to be honest. Migraines have sort of made it hard to date… or inconvenient, at least. But you need to know that I really do love and appreciate you so, so much, my Sungchannie.”

“I know, baby, I know,” he nodded just the slightest against you, gently rocking the two of you side-to-side.

You grabbed one of his hands to play with his fingers, slightly calloused from the weightlifting you knew was part of his mandatory hockey conditioning. Hockey season was already halfway over. His last season. You couldn’t imagine Jung Sungchan not playing hockey.

“Channie?”

“My girl?”

“I know we already talked about moving in together after graduation, but… What are you going to do after hockey’s over? I kind of can’t picture you not on the ice.”

You could feel him take a deep breath, and his free hand came to join the fray as it found one of your wrists. Specifically, the one that sported a thick blue and orange paracord bracelet with five plastic alphabet beads on it—2-7-J-S-C—that every hockey player made their freshman year. Sungchan gave you his not too long ago, on your one-month anniversary.

“I don’t know,” he whispered, as if he couldn’t make himself say it any louder. “I’ve tried to think about it too and… I can’t. I’ve been playing since I was a kid. I don’t… really have anything else. Just school, hockey, and you.”

“We’ll find you a hobby or two,” you promised, squeezing his hand. “Maybe you can take piano lessons again.”

He chuckled, letting you gently curl and uncurl his crooked pinky, the one he had broken that made him stop playing in the first place. “I don’t know… I think that might be gone for me.”

“If it’s something you really liked, you should do it,” you insisted. “It would just be for fun. I think it’d be nice, if you found the right teacher.”

“Well…”

“If you want to, Channie. I’m just brainstorming here.”

“Hockey season’s not over yet,” he pointed out. “We can circle back around in the summer.”

“That’s true, that’s true,” you agreed. “You should be savoring every moment right now, not letting me make you prematurely existential. I’m sorry.”

“You’re forward-thinking, baby, I appreciate that.”

“But it’s your last season, you don’t need me reminding you of that all the time.”

“Then why are we still talking about it, hm?” He said, mischievous smile on his face.

“We’re not! We’re not!” You held your hands up in surrender. “It’s present time! I swear!”

Sungchan laughed as he leaned in to press a kiss to your temple.

“Hi, Mr. Zhong!” You were beaming as you walked into Chenle’s house the next day, immediately being wrapped in a bear hug by his dad. “Merry Christmas!”

“Y/N! It’s been too long, too long,” he complained as you went to hug your best friend next, who had also come to greet you.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N,” Chenle hugged you tightly.

“Merry Christmas, LeLe.”

Letting go of your friend, you turned back to his dad, who was still waiting for a response, his hands on his hips.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Zhong,” you bowed your head in apology. “We just get so busy with school and—”

“Yeah, Y/N’s been really busy with her new boyfriend!” Chenle announced loudly, making sure that every occupant in the whole house could hear him.

“Y/N! You have a boyfriend?!” Mrs. Zhong called from the kitchen.

“Boyfriend?!” Mr. Zhong echoed in shock, his eyes going comically wide.

You were already smacking Chenle on the head and pinching his ear furiously. “Zhong Chenle, you little— I’m going to kill you!”

Chenle jerked out of your grip and ran away, you hot on his heels. He ran right into the kitchen, where his mother and several aunties immediately swarmed you.

“Y/N!” Mrs. Zhong grasped you by the wrist, pulling you over towards the stove where several things were cooking. She grabbed a spoonful of something from a bubbling pot and held it out towards you to try. As you leaned forward to taste it, she asked, “So, who is this boyfriend Chenle is talking about?”

“Is he handsome?” Another woman asked.

“Does he hold the door open for you?”

“What’s his name?”

“Does he know how to cook?”

“Do we know him?”

“Does he have a job?”

“How did you two meet?”

“Show us a picture!”

You choked on the rather delicious spoonful of soup that you’d just taken as you heard Chenle’s cackling laughter in the background. Wiping your mouth, you turned around to shoot him a glare before answering some of their questions.

“His name is Jung Sungchan, he goes to the same college as Chenle and I. We actually all had a class together a few years ago,” you started off slowly.

“Pictures, Y/N!” One of the aunties insisted.

“Yeah, Y/N, show us pictures!” Chenle repeated. “Or I will.”

“I will end you,” you said through gritted teeth as you pulled out your phone. Flicking through your gallery, you found a few that you really liked.

They were from his last home game, and these in particular were taken by Taeyong, as it had been the game against their league rivals, which drew in the graduated Nu Chi brothers and team members. You pulled the first one up, him still in his uniform as you had gone down to congratulate him right on the ice. He was towering over you even more than normal in his skates, an arm around your shoulders as you wrapped both of yours around his waist, the two of you smiling at the camera. As you went to show the picture to everyone, your skin started growing hot with the ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s that sprang up among the women.

“He plays hockey for our school, he’s actually captain.” You grew even more embarrassed as Mrs. Zhong zoomed in on Sungchan’s face.

“Chenle,” she looked up at her son with squinted eyes. “Is this your handsome friend who brought you home when you were drunk?”

“Mom, that was one time three years ago,” he groaned, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Chenle,” she said sternly.

“Yes, that’s him.”

Her face broke into a lovely smile. “Oh, I liked him. Very polite.”

“Yeah, I know, Mom. You still talk about it.”

“When was this?” You asked your friend with bewilderment. The two of you did everything together, including getting embarrassingly shitfaced as freshmen. Or, Chenle would get embarrassingly shitfaced and you would watch, thanks to your migraine meds.

“There was a Nu Chi party, after the Halloween one…” Chenle explained, and you appreciated him leaving out the details of the Halloween party in front of all these people. “Long story short, I didn’t realize how strong the punch was. Sungchan gave me a ride home.”

“Very polite, very handsome,” Mrs. Zhong nodded approvingly. She swiped to the next picture for you, this one of Sungchan kissing your cheek as you laughed and grabbed his jersey.

They all tittered and made various comments and approving noises, and you quickly turned your phone off and put it away bashfully.

“So, yeah… that’s him,” you finished awkwardly among their disappointed noises of you taking away the photos.

“I like him.” Chenle’s mom patted your cheek before turning back to the stove. “And if he gives you any trouble, you know Chenle will…”

“Mom did you see him? What do you think I could possibly do?” Chenle retorted. “He literally carried me in here over his shoulder, I don’t think I could really defend Y/N’s honor if it came to it!”

“Chenle…”

“Fine, Mom!”

v. i sat across from you, reading ulysses; and whilst i tried to project some intellect i’m not convinced i knew what it all meant, but i did know that the words were so pretty

“Have I ever told you how pretty you are?” Sungchan mumbled, resting his head on your shoulder.

You giggled, brushing some of his hair from his face. “Hmm, a couple times.”

“What?!” His head snapped back up, distress on his features. “Only twice?! God, what kind of boyfriend am I?”

The two of you were back in the team’s favorite dive bar, this time after the last home game of the season. It had been a smashing victory—in addition to the seniors’ last time to play a game on their home ice—meaning that everyone, including all of the long-graduated players and Nu Chi Tau brothers who had shown up, were celebrating extra hard tonight. You’d driven your car specifically to allow Sungchan to let loose for the occasion, hence his currently more-than-buzzed state.

He’d pulled you into his lap at the corner booth you were sitting at some time ago, morphing into the lovey-dovey cuddle monster that he always was when tipsy. Not that he exactly kept his hands to himself when he was sober either, but as soon as alcohol entered the equation, it was like he thought he’d die if he weren’t holding you at all times.

“I was playing, baby, you tell me that all the time,” you reassured him.

“Oh, good.” He breathed out in relief, going back to snuggling up to your shoulder. “Because you’re sooo pretty. Like, the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks, Channie.” You kissed the top of his head. “I think you’re pretty, too.”

“You do?”

“For sure.” You traced the line of the bridge of his nose. “My pretty boy.”

He hummed contentedly, but didn’t say anything more, letting his eyes flutter shut.

Ten, Taeyong, and another graduated Nu Chi brother, Kun, came over to your booth then, sliding into the seat across from you.

“Is he asleep?” Taeyong gestured to Sungchan.

“No, just a cuddly drunk,” you explained with a fond chuckle.

“‘M not drunk…” Your boyfriend protested.

“Tell that to the victory shots you were doing with Hyuck, Jeno, and Yangyang an hour ago,” you snorted, pushing your glass of water over towards him. “Here, some water, Channie.”

Kun offered out the half-eaten basket of onion rings that he’d walked over with. “Have some of these, too, Sungchan.”

“Sweet, thanks!” He grabbed a couple and stuffed them in his mouth happily.

“Thanks, Kun,” you smiled at him. “He didn’t drink on an empty stomach, so we should be ready to go in a bit. I want him mostly able to walk on his own two feet before we leave, though. Carrying a drunk Chenle and drunk Sungchan would be very different experiences, I feel.”

They all snickered, and you looked over at where your friend was currently pulling all of the cash out of his pocket to bet on a pool game between Johnny, Jaehyun—a former hockey player who had graduated last year, Jungwoo, and Yuta—former hockey player and Nu Chi brother, from the same cohort as Johnny. It looked like Dejun was running the betting pool, collecting Chenle’s money in addition to Hendery’s, Mark’s, and Hyuck’s.

“I feel like we should do something about the gambling happening over there…” Taeyong sighed, having been looking in the same direction as you.

“Probably,” Kun agreed, though neither of them made any move to get up. They simultaneously took swigs of their drinks.

“Y/N, what did you think of the reading for Direct Study?” Ten asked you, resting his very pink cheek in his hand.

“Oh, I thought it was fantastic!” You lit up. You and Ten both had Dr. Son for a Direct Study course this semester, and he was letting you two collaborate since you had such similar tastes in literature—you had a feeling your professor also liked having only one reading list and being able to meet with the both of you at once instead of separately. “I’ve always loved that author, though. The way her short stories can either be a quick read or you can really sit and take your time with them to absorb and peel back as many layers as you want.”

“You’ve read her before?”

“I recommended her to Dr. Son a while ago, actually. I read another one of her short story collections and sort of fell in love. I’ve been working through her whole body of work on my own time, but I hadn’t made it to this one yet, so I’m going into it with fresh eyes like you. I’m excited to see what you’ve been getting out of her works.”

“I think her diction is really fascinating.”

“Yes!” You gushed. “You can tell she takes her time with which words she’s using. Oh, I just love it.”

“You’re doing the Master’s in Literary Theory and Critical Analysis next year, right?”

“Yep! Picked my classes a couple weeks ago.”

Your friend flashed you a wide grin. “Thank God. There will be someone else competent.”

“Yeah, I’m doing Lit and Crit, and this one—” you patted Sungchan’s head as he was still shoveling onion rings in his mouth “—is going for his PhD in molecular biology.”

“Woah.” Ten’s eyebrows shot up.

“And what are you going to do with that, Sungchan?” Taeyong asked curiously.

“Fish,” your boyfriend answered absentmindedly through a mouthful of food.

You couldn’t help but laugh with your whole chest at his answer, even as you went to cover his mouth. “Chew and swallow before you talk, Channie. I think you just spat crumbs on poor Kun.”

The older man was flicking a piece of an onion ring off of his arm, giving you a strained, close-lipped smile.

Sungchan spent a considerable amount of time chewing his food, then washed it down with your water before giving a more cognizant answer. “I’m going to study a disease in a fish.”

“Molecular biology with a minor concentration in marine biology,” you corrected yourself and clarified his answer a bit more. “He’s joining one of his professors’ research teams.”

“Congrats, Sungchan,” the former Nu Chi president told him sincerely.

“Yeah, dude, wow,” Ten blinked, laughed, then shook his head. “You know, I don’t even know if I knew what your major actually was this whole time.”

“Seriously?” You snorted. “You two have been teammates for four years, and have lived together for two years.”

“I mean, I knew he was a STEM major,” Ten tried to defend himself. “But past that… yeah, I had no clue. It’s just sort of you know, when you think of Jung Sungchan, you think of hockey. He’s the hockey captain. I mean, does anybody really know Mark’s major?”

“I—”

“Not you, Taeyong, we know he was your Little.”

You opened and closed your mouth a couple of times, but found yourself drawing a blank. After all this time of getting closer to the team, you had sort of prided yourself on being friends with and knowing all of your boyfriend’s teammates on some individual level as people. But frustratingly, all you could think up for Mark was that he was Nu Chi president, center on the hockey team, and had been in your Comp I class a few years ago—a Gen Ed credit.

“Well damn,” you said bitterly.

“Exactly.”

After a beat, Taeyong spoke up quietly, “Music Theory. He likes producing music.”

Ten, Sungchan, and you all let out a chorus of ‘ohh’s at this revelation. You looked over at where Mark was spectating the pool game—from a vantage point of leaning tipsily against Johnny’s side when he wasn’t shooting, and against Jaehyun’s side when Johnny was shooting. You watched with amusement as he got passed back and forth, happy to see him being taken care of for once instead of taking care of all his friends.

“I should go swap out my Little’s drink for some water,” Taeyong announced. It was then that Hyuck must have made some comment to Mark, as Mark shoved his friend away with a loud complaint, his tone sounding rather embarrassed. “And my grand-little too…”

Dejun, Hendery, and Chenle were spectating their drunken spat in fits of giggles. Dejun and Hendery both reached for their drinks again, and Kun shook his head.

“I should do the same for my own demons before they get to that point,” Kun stood up with Taeyong.

Ten followed them out, “And I’m not going to third wheel. Bye, you two!”

“Bye, guys,” you gave the three of them farewells. “Congrats again, Ten.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he beamed down at you genuinely.

“Oh, Kun!” You called for him before he could get out of earshot.

He stopped a turned to you with an inquisitive eyebrow raised.

“Thanks for the onion rings, by the way.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I have one more favor to ask: Can you cut Chenle off too?” You requested. “And I’m not sure how you all are sorting out DDs tonight, but—”

“I’ll make sure he gets home safe,” he promised. “You two have a goodnight.”

“Thanks. Goodnight!”

Looking between Sungchan and the empty onion ring basket, you then checked the time on your phone.

“Alright, are you ready to go, baby?” You asked him quietly.

He nodded with his whole upper body. “Am I going home with you?”

“Yep. I’m taking you back to my place, and our classes all got canceled tomorrow for Spring Break, remember?” You shouldered your tote bag. “So we get to sleep in.”

“That’s my favorite thing.”

You giggled. “Sleeping in?”

“No, waking up with you,” he wrapped both his arms around your waist again. “And giving you a good morning kiss, and cooking breakfast for you, and helping you with your meds and your cuff.”

“I have a feeling I’ll be getting you meds in the morning tomorrow,” you quipped, pecking his forehead. “But I think mornings with my Sungchannie are one of my favorite things, too.”

“Sounds like a perfect match to me.”

“Hard to argue you with you there,” you snickered. “So are you ready to go? The sooner we go home and go to sleep, the sooner it’ll be morning, you know.”

“You’re so smart, baby. My girl’s the smartest ever…”

Pushing yourself out of his lap, you pulled him out of the booth after you and onto his feet. He immediately looped his arm around your shoulders, and you kept a hand on his chest and an arm around his waist to steady him as you started towards the exit. At the door, the two of you stopped to give the whole bar a final wave and call goodbye to anybody who heard you. You got a loud, raucous chorus of yelled and slurred goodbyes in return before you headed out to your car.

Back at your apartment, you made him change out of his clothes that smelled like the bar and into some of his that he kept here, then got into your own pajamas for the night before flopping into bed.

“Okay, question,” you announced as he laid his head in your lap, throwing an arm across your legs as if you were going anywhere.

“About?” He asked, his eyes fluttering shut and a content smile coming to his face as you started playing with his hair.

“How do you think you made it to the top two in Phantasmagorical Phriday this year? I mean, I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m not trying to be mean, Channie, or like, a Lit major elitist or anything, but Chenle and I have both been studying this stuff for four years now, right? Hendery has at least taken professional writing classes and some other stuff for his Comm degree. I think. But, no offense, you STEM majors aren’t exactly lauded for your excellent prose. First year, okay, we’re all brand new at it, and Dr. Son actually did real workshopping with us on it. But after that, we were essentially just getting coffee together once a month and then sending him a short story.”

He squinted one eye open to peer up at you curiously. “Do you think I bought off Dr. Son or something?”

“Bought off our professor so that you would almost win? Sounds like a waste of your money. Maybe bought off Chenle and Hendery to write shitty stories this year and better your chances? But you knew I was so morally upstanding that I wouldn’t take the bribe.”

“Oh, definitely. You’ve cracked it,” he snickered, closing his eyes again to enjoy your fingers working through his hair.

“I mean… Do you have a secret poetry journal in here somewhere?”

“No. You just kind of are being a little bit of a—” he was cut off by a loud yawn “—Lit major elitist, baby.”

“Mm?” You tilted your head with a confusion, perturbed frown on your face.

“You think that every STEM major just gets their Gen Ed humanities credits and never picks up a book again for the rest of their life.”

“Well…”

“Am I wrong?”

“It’s not like I’m out here balancing equations for fun!” You tried to defend yourself. “I got my science credits and never looked back.”

“I took a few more creative writing and literature classes sometimes,” he shrugged. “Whenever I had a spare slot in my schedule, or needed a couple credits of whatever to keep my scholarship for the semester.”

“Yeah, student athletes, you guys have to be full-time in order to keep your scholarships.”

“Mhm. Sometimes all the classes I needed for my degree that were happening in a semester didn’t uhm, didn’t make the minimum credits, so I needed another class or two.”

“Why lit classes? And writing classes?”

“Baby, it’s literally what you’ve been studying for four years and you’re acting like you can’t understand why anybody would be interested in it,” Sungchan pointed out, pinching your thigh.

You swatted his hand away. “No, I’m just trying to understand you.”

“Did I really act like I hated Dr. Son’s class that much freshman year? I did all four years of Phantasmagorical Phriday.”

“No, you didn’t seem like you hated it or anything. I just thought that you would’ve used the extra slots for easy classes. PE or something.”

“Yeah, Coach was always trying to get me to take his classes.”

“But you just really like writing and lit classes that much?”

“Why is this so surprising to you?”

“Well— I just kind of feel bad that I keep leaving you out of all the crit lit conversations that Ten and I have,” you admitted guiltily, not intending to leave him out of all your fun conversation with his teammate about books in your lit classes, but he never seemed all that interested; nor had he read any of the books, to your knowledge. “Do you want to borrow books or read along so you can talk with us about it?”

“That’s okay, baby,” he told you, reaching up to pat your hands that were already on top of his head. “Honestly, I like listening to you talk about all this stuff more than I ever liked the classes themselves.” After a beat, he absentmindedly added, “I would kind of pick them half-hoping you had signed up for the class, too.”

You tilted your head curiously. “Really?”

“It was more like a little daydream that I had. That I’d walk in on the first day of class and you’d be sitting there and recognize me and smile at me and ask if I wanted to sit with you. Then, you know, we’d swap notes, be study buddies, and I would finally get the courage to ask you out,” Sungchan sighed, nuzzling his cheek against your thigh in an almost nostalgic and bittersweet way.

“Channie…”

“That was really embarrassing to admit. I thought I was going to die without telling anybody that, especially you,” he mumbled, his voice becoming more muffled as he turned his head to fully bury his face in your lap.

“You are a bit tipsy, baby,” you reminded him gently, stroking the back of his head.

He turned onto his back to fully look up at you, taking a slow blink before adding emphatically, “And I just love you so much.”

You grabbed him by the sides of the face to look him in the eye very seriously, but couldn’t hold it for very long, tender smile coming back to your features almost immediately.

“I love you too,” you affirmed, and he was once again beaming, grabbing your hand to presumably kiss your knuckles, but he missed a bit and kissed the back of your wrist instead. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course! Anything for my girl.”

“Your girl wants to know…” You said your words slowly and enunciated to make sure he understood. “On the first day of Dr. Son’s class, do you remember how you felt about me then?”

Specifically, you were thinking about the second game of the season, when you’d learned about Hendery and Chenle’s bet from freshman year. Hendery swore he could tell Sungchan had a crush on you from the first day of Dr. Son’s class, but you had your doubts. Mostly because you yourself couldn’t even remember looking at Sungchan on the first day of class, much less even talking or, God forbid, flirting with him—literally anything that would warrant him apparently outwardly crushing on you.

His face immediately scrunched up. “Mmm…”

“It’s okay baby, I know it was a long time ago, and you’ve had a bit to drink—”

“No, I remember, I remember. I’m just afraid you’re going to think I’m a creep…”

“More of a creep than signing up for classes in my major hoping I was going to be in them?”

“I’m sorry!” He rushed to apologize, his features immediately turning distraught as he half-sat up in his haste to say sorry.

“Shh, shh, my Sungchannie, it’s okay, it’s okay,” you quieted him, squeezing his hand that he was still holding and stroking his forehead, encouraging him to lay down again. “I was just teasing you, I’m sorry, that was mean of me. I think it’s cute, I promise.”

“You think I’m cute?” He asked with a heavy pout.

“Baby boy, I’m in love with you. Of course I think you’re cute.”

The corners of his mouth pulled back into a small smile. “Yay…”

“So? Will you please tell me?”

“M’kay…” He huffed and readjusted again, this time to rest some of his weight on his shoulder as his head was still pillowed in your lap. “I remember everything about that first class, you know? The room number, where we were all sitting, the Phantasma Phour…”

“Really?”

“Third flour, 3104.”

“I thought Gothic Lit was on the second floor?”

“It was on the third floor only for the first week then it got moved to the second floor for the rest of the semester.”

“Huh. Good memory.”

“I remember because the third floor of the Lang building is always super hot, but I didn’t know that because it was our first day. I wore my new hoodie from the team because I was so proud to be on the team, but I didn’t have another shirt on under it because I heard the Science building was always cold from some other Bio majors, so I thought I wasn’t going to have to take it off. So when we were in Dr. Son’s class that first day, I couldn’t take the hoodie off, even though it was like a billion degrees in that room…”

“Oh, oh no, Channie.” You attempted to coo sympathetically through your chuckles.

Sungchan sighed, pulling your hand back to his hair. “Anyway, Dr. Son had us in that Socratic circle, remember?”

“Yep, I remember.” You nodded, obliging to his whims easily and playing with his hair again.

“I was right next to the door, because I just wanted to get in and out of there. Hendery ran in a couple minutes late, and he ended up next to me. You and Chenle sat together at the front, a few seats away from Dr. Son’s desk, right next to the window. I just remember thinking that you were really pretty, with the window kind of giving you this little halo of light.”

“Baby, how is that creepy?” You chuckled. “You thought I was pretty.”

“You don’t remember what happened in the rest of that first class, do you?”

“What? What happened?”

“Dr. Son had us do an icebreaker with a partner…” He trailed off leadingly.

“Channie, I’ve taken so many of Dr. Son’s classes at this point, I can’t even remember who I was paired up with for that one,” you tried to reassure him.

“It was me.”

“Oh.”

“So not only was I a sweaty mess in that hoodie, but I had to be a sweaty mess while talking to this really pretty girl.”

“Channie…” You looked down at him, guilty for not remembering this at all. Though maybe it was for the better if he was apparently such a mess? Maybe that would soothe his distress over “embarrassing” himself in front of you.

“I thought Dr. Son was going to have us ask the normal stuff, name, major, year, you know. But it was Dr. Son, so of course it wasn’t normal.”

“Of course.”

“He made us ask all that, and made us ask each other something we were afraid of, and something we wanted. It wasn’t going to be shared with the class, just with our partner. I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of you, pretty girl that I knew nothing about other than your name, that you were a freshman, and a Lit major. I really wanted to impress you, but I couldn’t come up with anything super deep. Do you know what I said?”

“No…” You confessed, tone already apologetic as you held his gaze. “I’m so sorry, baby, I don’t remember any of this.”

“S’okay…” He yawned again. “I said the truth. I was afraid of not being as good at hockey as I thought I was, and that I wanted to be team captain one day.”

“Those were good answers. It was the truth, not some philosophical lie. And look at you now, baby boy,” you told him strongly, patting his chest before going back to stroking his head.

“Mm… Back then you just kind of had this look on your face that wasn’t really dislike or even boredom or anything but just sort of like… that was exactly what you were expecting me to say. I felt like I’d just put myself into the dumb, self-centered, sports-obsessed jock archetype in your mind and I’d never be able to get out. Because then you answered and I wanted to smack myself for giving such stupid answers and wearing that stupid hoodie.”

“What did I say?”

“You were afraid of what the outcome of your brain MRI was going to be. And you wanted to hurt less.”

Your jaw dropped in mortification. “Oh my god… Sungchan, I’m so sorry I just dumped all that on you literally the first time we met. I…I had a lot going on then, with my migraines. I had just started seeing my neuro like a month before classes started, she ordered the MRI as a just in case thing, but it still made me so freaked. My appointment to go over the results was after my classes that day, I literally couldn’t think about anything else. All I remember about the first day of freshman year is that appointment, getting the clean results. Holy shit, don’t tell me I dropped that on you and left you hanging about whether or not I was fine?”

“When I saw you on Wednesday actually laughing and smiling with Chenle, I was hopeful. I didn’t want to ask you in case it wasn’t good, though, and you were just trying to distract yourself or something. So I caught up to Chenle after class a while later and asked him. After Dr. Son started the Phantasma Phour stuff. He didn’t tell me about your migraines, just said that the results were clean.”

“Ah, Channie… None of that was creepy.” You promised sweetly, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“This is the creepy part…” He mumbled, gaze turning downwards. “Jeno saw me when I was talking to Chenle and invited me to the Nu Chi Halloween party that year, Chenle too. And Chenle brought you, and you got a migraine.”

“I didn’t realize you were there too. Did you see me screaming my head off?”

“No. I was trying to keep Jeno distracted.”

“Jeno?” You echoed, confused.

“Jeno said in the locker room…” Another yawn. He rubbed his eye. “He said he invited Chenle because he knew Chenle was going to bring you, and he wanted to sleep with you. But he didn’t think you would’ve come if he had invited you himself.”

You pursed your lips thoughtfully at this new revelation. “Huh…”

“I was keeping Jeno distracted with beer pong and stuff, but he finally slipped away, I guess at the same time you got your migraine. When he told me the next day that he was giving up on fucking you because you’d punched him in the face and he ‘knew better than to stick his dick in crazy,’ I thought you decked him for coming onto you and just admired you even more.”

“Not quite,” you laughed, remembering the bloody nose he’d nursed all night in the same room that you were nursing your migraine and Chenle sobered up. “But this story does add a whole new layer to my friendship with Jeno… Does Chenle know about this?”

“I don’t think so. Or Jeno would have gotten his nose broken again, right?”

“Probably.”

“Are you mad?”

“What would I be mad about? You having a crush on me? Our mutual friend wanting to fuck me one time three years ago?” You snorted, cupping his cheeks to get him to roll over and look at you again. “Baby, the only person I could possibly be upset with here is myself for not even giving you a second look in that class three years ago. Because then I could’ve had my Sungchannie this whole time.”

“Noooo…” He whined, shaking his head zealously. “I should’ve actually done something instead of just pining like a loserboy.”

“But you’re my loserboy now.”

His eyes widened. “You think I’m a loser?”

“Of course. My prettiest, cutest, sweetest, loveliest—” you punctuated each adjective with a kiss to his nose “—loserboy that I love so much.”

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” You smiled down at him. “Now, I think that’s plenty of tipsy confessions for one night. It’s time for you to sleep, my Sungchannie.”

As you started readjusting to lay down next to him on the mattress, he grabbed you and pulled you into his chest like a teddy bear.

“You didn’t want to, right?” His voice was right under your ear.

“What?”

“Sleep with Jeno?”

You lowered your voice conspiratorially, “I’m going to tell you a secret: I couldn’t tell any of the Nu Chi guys apart for the longest time. Didn’t even know Jeno’s name until I broke his nose. To me, they were all just gross frat guys who probably didn’t know how to wash their dicks.”

“Should’ve kept it that way,” he grumbled, holding you even tighter.

“Oh? You want me to unlearn all of our friends and acquaintances names?” You teased, wrapping one of your arms around him too.

“Can you?” He asked hopefully.

“Not quite how it works, I’m afraid,” you clicked your tongue. At his tipsy whines starting back up again, you hushed him once more, “Shh, it’s okay. I might know all their names, but none of them get to be baby boy.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He agreed, and you could hear the smug smile in his voice.

“You need anything else from your girl? Or will you finally let her sleep?”

“Kiss?”

“Of course.”

Tilting your head up, you pressed your lips to Sungchan’s. He hummed contentedly against your mouth, unhurried in his motions as he met your every move. You sleepily kissed him, entirely unaware of time, but finally pulling back when your lids were getting too heavy to properly open back up. Blindly giving one more kiss to the corner of his mouth—it felt more like the side of his bottom lip, honestly—you settled your head back on his chest.

“There you go, Channie.” You yawned, pushing your face further into him. “Goodnight… I love you.”

“Goodnight, baby,” he was mumbling too, presumably also on the brink of falling asleep. “Love… you…”

vi. whilst i make space for all the parts of me that i do not want, i let them be, as minds twist through the fractured expanse of our being

“Okay, thank you,” you forced a casual nod to your doctor as she entered in a few more things on her computer.

“The ladies up front will schedule everything when you check out,” she offered you a kind smile. “Do you have any more questions for me today, Y/N?”

“No, no, just uh… need to get everything scheduled, you know.”

“Alright, well it was good to see you as always,” she stood up, leading you towards the door of the exam room. “And I’ll see you again soon. Have a good day.”

“You too.”

You went through the motions of checking out and scheduling, adding the next appointments to your phone calendar with the receptionist at the front desk, then shuffled out to the parking lot. Your mind was still reeling as you got into the passenger seat of Sungchan’s car.

“Hey, how’d it go?” He turned in his seat to ask you. It was just one of your normal check-ups with your neurologist today, and with the hockey season over, Sungchan had the time to take you to and from the appointment, promising to take you out for dinner after. You didn’t have much of an appetite anymore.

Your gaze was locked on the dashboard in front of you. Your jaw clenched as you tried to battle back the tears that threatened to well up and just answer him.

“They’re getting worse again. Increase in- in frequency and severity,” you finally choked out. “My neuro wants to get a blood panel and brain MRI done again. She says we probably just need to adjust my meds again but—”

“A brain MRI?” Sungchan echoed in disbelief.

“Make sure there’s nothing in there that’s not supposed to be in there. It’s always clean, but every single time, the what if… it’s scary,” you admitted, your voice getting smaller as the tears finally came, spilling over onto your cheeks and down into your lap.

“Oh… oh baby,” his voice softened as he reached over to take your hand.

“And even if everything, all of that fucking shit is clean. It just means that my stupid fucking meds have stopped working and my stupid fucking body isn’t working like it’s supposed to and I have to do it all over again. Trying out more medications that’ll do God fucking knows what to me until we find the new perfect concoction that keeps me a semi-functioning person. God dammit!” You spat out, slamming your other hand down in a fist against the dash. “Ow, fuck, that hurt. God, fucking stupid…”

Sungchan grabbed both your hands with one of his, keeping them in your lap as he wiped at your tears with his free hand. “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” you blubbered. “That you got me and that I’m—”

“Stop it,” he cut you off sternly, with the harshest tone he’d ever taken with you. “Don’t you dare start apologizing for this. I wouldn’t let anybody else talk about you like that around me, and you’re not going to either.”

“God, yeah, okay,” you nodded and sniffled. “Thanks, Channie.”

“When is it? The MRI?”

“I-I have it in my calendar somewhere.”

“I’ll go with you,” he promised, cradling your chin in his palm to get you to look at him. “Whenever it is, I’ll go with you. And when you go get the results, okay? Car, waiting room, exam room, wherever you want me, alright? But you won’t be alone.”

You bit your bottom lip, squeezing his hand tight with both of yours. “I’d really like that. Thank you.”

He leaned across the center console to press a kiss to your forehead. “Anything for my girl.”

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valstranquility · 6 months

Text

END - LN4

pairing: lando norris x reader

summary: yn can't take the distance from lando anymore.

notes: sorry i haven't posted in literally 3 months. please excuse any errors or inaccuracies.

Y/N doesn't recognize herself anymore.

Her old self was confident and never took shit from anybody. But now she was a shell of the person she used to be.

When she first started a relationship with Lando, they were bright and so in love. He would surprise her with flowers often and have dinner with her every night.

Now, it felt like she was living with a stranger. He was no longer the man who she felt would give her the world. She was no longer one of his priorities, she fell second or third.

The decision to end things was not an easy one. Y/N was naive in thinking she would spend the rest of her life with Lando, how could she go and end the relationship she'd been in for the entirety of her adult life?

Her decision was finalized the night he was once again late and didn't bother to let her know. He had failed to show up for dinner numerous times in recent weeks, each missed meal a painful reminder of their growing disconnect.

Y/N was sitting at the dinner table. Two plates. Both untouched.

She knew tonight was her last.

She immediately got up and started packing her things. She didn't let any of her tears fall, knowing this has been a long time coming.

She packed all of her things, not wanting to leave anything behind. She sat at the dinner table and waited.

He finally arrived an hour later.

That hour gave Y/N the chance to think things through and plan what she was going to say to him.

"Oh, hey," he said as he walked through the door. He noticed the bags by the door and grew confused. "What's going on?"

"Lando, we need to talk," she said.

"Talk about what, Y/N? Is everything alright?"

"No, Lando, everything is not alright," Y/N said, her voice gaining strength. "I can't go on like this. I can't keep feeling like a stranger in my own relationship."

"What are you talking about? 'Feeling like a stranger?' Are you leaving me?" he asked.

"Yes, Lando. I'm leaving. I don't deserve to be treated like this."

"Wait, so you were just going to leave without even trying to talk this out?" he asked, his voice filled with slight anger.

"Don't you even start, Lando. I've been trying to get through to you for so long. You never listen, you never talk to me. I can't keep doing this."

Lando shook his head, frustration mounting. "This is ridiculous, Y/N! You can't just give up without trying to work things out!"

"Lando, I tried so hard to try and make this work with you, but being here, with you, is hurting me. You hurt me," she said, voice trembling.

"You know what, leave. Leave me and don't bother coming back," Lando said. His anger was at an all-time high and he couldn't believe the things she was saying.

Y/N shook her head in disbelief. She knew this wouldn't end well but she didn't think it would end like this. She wanted to look at him for a second, just to take him in, knowing this would be the last time she would see him, but she held back knowing she didn't want this to be her last memory of him.

Y/N grabbed her bags and left, softly shutting the door behind her. She didn't give herself any time to think as she got in her car and drove to her friend's house.

As Y/N's footsteps faded away, the weight of her absence settled heavily on Lando's shoulders. His heart ached with the intensity of his emotions.

Tears streamed down his face, and he clutched his fists in frustration. Regret for his previous words and anger at himself for letting things deteriorate into this mess churned within him. He wished he had handled the situation differently, wished he had been more attentive to Y/N's needs, and now it was too late.

That night Lando did a lot of thinking.

He realized that he had taken Y/N for granted, not appreciating the depth of her love until she was gone. Her absence left an indelible void in his life, and the reality of her departure was a bitter pill to swallow. The silence of the house, once filled with their shared laughter and conversations, now echoed with the haunting sound of what could have been.

Regret gnawed at him as he reflected on the last few months. He realized that he had been distant, preoccupied, and emotionally absent. He had foolishly ignored her attempts to communicate and reconnect.

One thing Y/N said kept coming back to him.

"You hurt me."

The realization that he had hurt the person he loved most left a bitter taste in his mouth. Lando's heart ached not just from the loss of Y/N but from the knowledge that he had been the cause of her pain. He wished he could turn back time, to be the partner she deserved, to listen to her concerns, and to love her like he once did.

He decided that he needed to fight for her.

With a heart heavy with determination and hope, Lando found himself standing outside Y/N's friend's house, where she had sought refuge after their painful breakup.

It had been three weeks since Y/N left him and he thought they'd both had a lot of time to think.

The journey to this doorstep had been filled with self-reflection and a deep longing to make amends for his past mistakes. He couldn't imagine life without Y/N, and he was willing to do whatever it took to win her back.

As he knocked on the door, his knuckles rapped nervously against the wood. Moments later, the door creaked open, revealing Y/N standing on the other side. Her eyes met his, but they held a certain resolve, a guarded determination that he hadn't seen in her before.

"Lando," she said softly, her voice tinged with sadness.

Lando's heart skipped a beat. "Y/N, please, I... I've realized my mistakes, and I want to make things right. I love you, and I can't bear the thought of not being with you."

Y/N looked into his eyes, her expression pained but resolute. "Lando, it's not that simple. I appreciate your feelings, but the hurt we've been through runs deep, and it's time for us to move on."

Lando's eyes welled up with tears, and he reached out, wanting to touch her, to pull her close. But she gently stepped back, closing the door a fraction. "I've thought about this a lot, and I need to find my own happiness, even if it's without you," Y/N said, her voice firm but filled with sadness.

Lando's heart sank, the weight of her words crashing down on him. He knew he had pushed her to this point, and he couldn't fault her for wanting to protect herself. He nodded, tears streaming down his face, and stepped back from the door.

"Y/N, I understand," he whispered, his voice trembling. "I'll always love you, and I hope you find the happiness you deserve. And if you ever want somebody to share that happiness with I'll always be here."

With that, Y/N softly closed the door, leaving Lando standing outside, alone and heartbroken. The door symbolized not just the physical separation between them but also the emotional divide that had grown between their hearts. Lando knew that winning her back might be impossible, but he also understood that it was the consequence of his actions.

#— lando norris #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x female reader #lando norris x fem reader #lando norris angst #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #mclaren

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natailiatulls07 · 7 months

Text

The golden trio Pt 6

Lando Norris x female!reader

Carlos Sainz x female!reader

Max Verstappen & Female!reader & Charles Leclerc

Summary - Being bestfriends with two famous formula one drivers is never easy, but what will happen when you get involved with yet another formula one driver??

Warning - swearing, crying

A/n - 😌😋

The golden trio

Twitter

username It’s been five days since Lando was caught kissing that other chick and Y/n hasn’t posted ANYTHING!!

username He has sooooo fucked up mate it’s unbelievable and by the looks of it he hasn’t done anything to apologise yet 😖

username You know I don’t think anyone has seen her leave the apartment building either, like we know Max and Charles are around but they haven’t be looking all that happy

username Yeah cause someone who is practically their little sister has been hurt time and time again!! What do you expect?

f1gossip

Spotted: Y/n L/n leaving her apartment complex with both of her roommates, Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc.

Liked by username and 1,583 others

username Lando fucking Norris you are a fucking idiot 😒

username Oh mate, she looks devastated

username She can’t get a break!!

username Did you guys see Max and Charles though?! They were so annoyed

username I hope the chick is happy, she ruined a relationship 🙄

Max Fewtrell twitch live stream

Twitter

username Anybody watched Max Fewtrells twitch this evening?? Lando??

username You can tell he’s so guilty with himself!!

username Like he was so blunt!

username He had it coming, like you can’t go around kissing another girl whilst you’re in a relationship. It’s common sense.

Text (White: Reader) (Red: Carlos)

Hey, I heard about what happened with Lando I’m sorry

Yeah these things happen, it’s not your fault

Look I have a idea but you can back out if you want totally your choice

Ok?? Go on

So I’ve was thinking if we could date until Lando gets jealous

Oh right…

Please don’t feel like you have to do this tho

Sure I’ll do it, I don’t want to let him down easily

Perfect! So should we go on a date tomorrow night and make sure people see??

Yeah that’ll be a good idea, the gossip instagrams just love to post about me so it’ll spread fast

f1gossip

Spotted: Y/n L/n and Carlos Sainz, former McLaren teammate of Lando Norris, seen on what seems to be a date in Monte Carlo this evening. It has been a few days since Lando Norris, who seems to Y/n’s ex now, was seen kissing another girl.

Liked by yourusername and 3,263 others

username Mr Norris what will you do now??

username She really said get even bitch 😚

~~ Liked by yourusername

username Ooooo more gossip more gossip!!!

username Yk I would sell my kidney to see what is going on behind the closed doors 👀

username Y/n in her reputation era??

username Yk, Idk what to think??

Gossip Groupchat (White: Reader) (Blue: Max) (Red: Charles)

Hey Bee…

Yeah I’d everything ok?

No…

Um Lando is currently stood in our living room, pestering Charles on where you are…😬

Wtf!

Why? Ask him why he’s there!

Seen 2 minutes ago

Yk I don’t like the fact that it’s taking forever!

He is here to apologise, he feels horrible and I think he means it

Well tell him that I am busy and that he should consider this relationship done

Ok soooo he’s gone but

But…?

I don’t think he was very happy that you are completely blocking him out, more angry in my opinion

Look that’s his problem, you can’t go around kissing other girls whilst you’re in a relationship it’s common fucking sense

Ok, what time are you coming back tonight?

Around 9pm, Carlos has a flight in the morning

See you then Bee

Bye guys

Bye Bee

f1gossip

Since Y/n’s date this evening we have noticed that the former couple have both gone and unfollowed each other on instagram and other socials. Maybe the ship has really sailed away.

Liked username and 2,583 others

username Oh Shit!

username So that really does mean…

username No I can’t do this, nope not today 😭

username True love? Yeah no that doesn’t exist

username What do we do now?!?! 😰

username Friends to Lovers to Enemies 🥺

yourusername

But now you’re on your knees while I’m wrapped up in his sheets 😚

Tagged: carlossainz55

Liked by carlossainz55 and 75,925 others

username MISS GIRL!!!

username Karma really is a bitch!

carlossainz55 ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

= yourusername 😋😋😋

username Lando you know this is about you!!!

~~ Liked by yourusername

username Loving this whole thing!!!!!

username She moved onto a real man, not a little boy. Well deserved!

Tag list: @eviethetheatrefreak @janeholt3 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @namelesssav @amalialeclerc @eugene-emt-roe @skepvids @ravisinghs-wife @bellaturner @roseseraj

#formula one #formula one x reader #lando norris #charles leclerc #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #carlos sainz #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fic #lando norris imagine #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #carlos sainz x reader #charles lechair #redbull racing #ferrari racing #mclaren racing

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itsthestutterforme · 26 days

Text

Who Loves A Party? 1/2 (Soft!Dark!Rafe Cameron x Pogue!reader)

Summary: You are Pope’s sister and no matter how much Pope tries to separate you, Rafe always his way to you.

Warnings/Notes: GIF is not mine, all mistakes are my own, drug use, fluff fic, mild language, suggestive themes

“Oh come on, Pope. Don’t be such a pussy.” JJ snorts, wrapping an arm around Pope’s shoulder.

“Whenever she comes to a party, she’s surrounded by dudes.” Pope states and you roll your eyes, before returning your attention back to the mirror.

“Well duh, it’s a party and your sister’s hot. Of course she’s going to be surrounded by dudes.” JJ defends.

“Thank you, JJ.” You said with a smile, standing up from your vanity mirror and JJ winks at you.

You wiped off any excess lipgloss from the corners off your lips.

“Gross. And I’m talking about kook dudes.” Pope says and you grab a hold of his shoulders.

“If you don’t want to give me a ride, that’s fine. I can literally find my own ride. But if you’re trying to keep me away from this party, it isn’t happening.”

“Fine. Just don’t talk to Rafe. That guy is a lunatic.” “I don’t talk to him. He talks to me.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“He hasn’t tried anything with you has he?”

“No, he hasn’t.”

“Good”

“See, man? Bringing Y/N around isn’t a bad thing. She keeps the Kook king in check.”

Meanwhile the party started two hours ago and Rafe arrived an hour in, thinking you would be there already.

The two of you had a love-hate kind of relationship. He loves that you hate him.

Pissing you off is way more addicting than getting high, that’s for sure. Topper notices Rafe glance at the door for the sixth time in ten minutes. He rests his face against his palm as some blonde talked his ear off.

“Dude can you be any more obvious?” Topper jests. “What are you talking about man?” Rafe grumbled in annoyance at the girl next to him.

What the fuck was she still talking? Rafe thought to himself. “You haven’t touched a line since you got here and you keep looking at the door. You’re staying clean for her. A Pogue.” Topper says with an amused chuckle.

“But yeah, I was wondering if you knew anybody who-“

“Oh my God, can you please get the fuck away from me? You’re so annoying.” Rafe snaps at the girl and her face burned red with embarrassment.

She looks around at Rafe’s friends who were chuckling at her and she stands from the couch with tears in her eyes.

“What are you waiting for?” Rafe quirks a brow. She rushes down the stairs, tears streaming down her cheeks when you and the rest of your brother’s friends walked into the party.

“And you can mind your own business, bro. Alright? I didn’t talk shit when you were dating my sister.” Rafe tells Topper, taking a swig from his solo cup.

“I’m not judging you, Rafe. I’m just curious, man. She hates your guts. Why don’t you go after a chick who actually wants you?”

“She does want me,” he reasons. “Right,” “Speak of the devil,” Rafe stands when you stroll into the house at the front of the group.

The girl Rafe yelled at, ran into you on the way out of the house and you stumbled into JJ’s chest.

“Sorry man,” you apologized, patting his chest jokingly.

“Don’t stop on my account,” JJ teases and you rolled your eyes. “Imma go find the booze.”

Pope smacks the back of JJ’s head when you started to walk away. “Hey!” “Gross man, knock it off.”

Topper watches Rafe rush down the stairs after you. “He’s so pussy whipped,” he says before sniffling a line.

You walked into the kitchen and spied the massive keg sitting on the counter. There were no solo cups in sight so you took it upon yourself to get a wine tumbler glass.

You were so engulfed at how satisfying the beer streaming into the glass was, that you didn’t hear Rafe come up behind you.

“Well look what the cat dragged in,” Rafe starts and you jump at his abrupt presence, causing some beer to spill on the floor.

“You’re such a jackass,” he smirk widens and his eyes drank in what you were wearing. A red bandana top with dark wash jeans, red Vans and some gold hoops.

You watched him over the rim of the glass when you took a swig. “Can I go now or are you going to watch me some more?” You retort.

“Oh, that’s an option? In that case,” he takes a step towards you but you pushed his chest until he stumbled back, although it took you a few tries.

He also loved it when you roughed him up a little. “You can stay where you’re at, lover boy.”

“But I’m your lover boy,” he reaches for your chin and you slapped his hand away.

“The fuck you are,” you stepped around him and naturally, he follows you out of the kitchen.

“Don’t you have something else to be doing?” “Nope, I’m right where I need to be.”

You spun around and stop an inch away from his broad chest. You had to admit the black backwards hat and black polo shirt was doing something to you.

But he would never know that.

“What is it with white boys and wanting women who don’t like them?” You flicked the back of his hat but he caught it before it could hit the floor.

“You wanna know what I think?” He questions. “Not particularly, no.” He leans in and whispers, “I think you go to these parties because you’ll know I’ll be there.”

His lip brushed against the shell of your ear, causing you to shiver.

“I can almost say the same thing about you, Kook.” You tease and he puts his hat on your head.

“You know if you wanted my hat, all you had to do was ask, princess.” He flirts, purposely changing topics.

“Dude,” JJ pulls Pope away from talking to a girl and points to you and Rafe talking in the hallway by the kitchen.

“Damn it,” Pope sighs. “Yep. Let’s go get her.” JJ starts, him and John B following Pope through the crowd.

Pope shoved Rafe away from you, making Rafe’s drink drop from his loose grip.

“Get the hell away from my sister, Rafe.” Pope starts.

Rafe’s gaze darkened as he steps towards the group. “I’ve been minding my business out of respect for your sister. But if you touch me again, we’re going to have a problem.”

Topper and Kelce hear the commotion and made their way over.

“Okay,” you say to yourself as you step between the two groups of guys.

“Pope, we literally just got here and you’re going to get us kicked out.” You reasoned and Pope continued to stare at Rafe.

“There’s a bon fire out back. Let’s go and cool off some.” You flicked Pope’s forehead when he wasn’t moving and he glares at you.

“Move. Let’s go.” You tossed Rafe’s hat back to him before leading the group outside.

“I’ll come find you later, yeah?” Rafe calls after you, chuckling when you flipped him off.

A sun beam shined directed on your eye lids, causing your eyes to slowly peel open. You groaned when your pupils dilated as a result and turned onto your side away from the sun.

You closed your eyes and let out a satisfied sigh once you get comfortable again.

Your breathing subsided until you slowly came to a realization.

You weren’t in your bed.

Your eyes snapped open to see Rafe sound asleep, leaning his head against his inner arm. Your lips parted when you noticed he was shirtless.

Lifting the blanket up, you let out a relieved sigh when you see you were completely clothed.

You must have been cold because you wore Rafe’s North Face jacket loosely around your arms and chest.

Your gaze trailed back to Rafe. From his smooth, toned chest to his muscular arms that occasionally flex as he breathed.

You slowly sat up and looked around the room. It was twice the size of your room and judging by the hats pinned to the wall, you were in Rafe’s room.

Though you had no recollection of how you got there. The throbbing around your temples vaguely reminded you of some kook’s bright idea to get crossed.

And twelve hours later, you wake up in Rafe’s bed. Rafe stirred under the sheets until he finally opened his eyes.

He met your gaze and neither of you moved or said anything. A stray of sunlight shined into the room, illuminating Rafe’s periodt eyes to a brighter shade of green.

It reminded you of what you thought a botanical garden would look like.

Rafe could see the gears turning in your head as you contemplated whether you should leave and you saw sadness flash over his eyes.

You should be saying something snarky about him finding an excuse to get you in his bed. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Instead, you find yourself laying down next to him, mirroring how he was laying. Bringing the covers back over you, you pulled them up over half of your face.

Your eyes soften when he smiles at how adorable you looked. Meanwhile his gaze swept over your face in attempt to memorize your delicate features.

He wasn’t sure if he would ever be this close to you again. And he wanted to make the most of it.

Slowly reaching over, he smooths the pad of his thumb over the bronze skin of your cheek. Your eyes fluttered closed as you were surprised by his delicacy.

Bringing your hand over his, you opened your eyes again. You didn’t know what was happening but you knew that you liked it.

Turning around in bed, you gently pulled at his hand silently asking him to hold you.

He slides closer to you and drapes an arm over your waist, sliding a hand under your abdomen.

You could feel his heart pounding against your back and although you were covered from head to toe, his warmth burns everywhere he was touching.

Smoothing a hand over his arm, you heard a shaky breath leave his lips. “You okay back there?” You ask, finally breaking the silence and he lets out another breath.

“This feels like a dream,” “Awe, you dream about me, lover boy?” He hums in response, bringing his hand from your waist to your hair where he gently rubs your scalp.

Your pleased moans spurred Rafe to continue to scratch your scalp. Although he was hoping to make you moan for a different reason.

“M’gonna fall asleep if you keep doing that.”“That’s the idea, sweetheart.”

After a few minutes, your soft snores filled the room. And soon after that, your phone vibrated in the pocket of his jacket you were wearing.

He reaches into your pocket and silenced the phone before it could wake you.

He was going to put your phone back in your pocket but then he saw that it was JJ calling you.

He has been calling you since three this morning. Plus you’ve been getting texts from Pope and Kiara asking you where you ran off to.

Every chance JJ gets, he flirts with you. And I’m fed up with that shit. Rafe thought to himself.

So he used your Face ID to unlock your phone and sent a picture of him holding you, making sure to angle it so your thick ass pressed against his crotch was on display.

Everything about the picture pointed to that you two slept together.

Him being shirtless. You wearing his jacket. The confident smirk on his face.

You hadn’t slept together. But he didn’t need to fuck you to claim you as his. Everyone accepted it. Everyone except the pogues.

He hit send and his smirk widened when JJ’s read receipts were on indicating that he saw the picture.

JJ: What the fuck??! [10:06 a.m.]

JJ: I’m going to fucking kill you, Rafe. [10:07 a.m.]

Mission accomplished.

Rafe swiped down to turn on Do Not Disturb. His thumb hovers over the off button as he contemplates.

Just a few more things.

He keeps your phone in his hands while you subconsciously slid closer to him in your sleep, without a clue in the world.

#black!reader #rafe cameron x black!reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron drabble #rafe cameron x reader

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luminouslune · 2 months

Note

hi I have a request for andteam

When you cried because you think you don't deserve them

It's okay if you are busy i will wait

Ok have a good day

Sweet nothings

&team x reader

Genre: fluff, angst

A/n: Sorry for the late reply! Thanks for the request!! Enjoy!

Koga Yudai (K)

He had just come back from the studio and the first thing his eyes met with was you curled up in the corner of the couch, tears littering your face. His heart dropped and he quickly went to your side. "Hey, hey, what's wrong..?" He asked softly, taking your face gently in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. His eyes looked at you with concern. You quietly looked up at him with watery eyes. "I... got in my head again..." You replied quietly. "I've been trying my hardest lately to look on the bright side of things but then there's always something bothering me." You explain quietly. He looked down, pulling you against his chest. "What's bothering you love..?" He asked, running his fingers through your hair. "I don't feel like I'm enough.. to you, everyone, myself..like am I doing enough to show you that I love you, am I doing enough so people know that I'm a good person with good intentions and motives..? I just.. I dunno." You said with a sigh, eyes trained onto the ground. "You're more than enough.. and don't let anybody tell you that you're less than that.. what's got you thinking like this love..?" He asked, kissing your forehead. You shrugged, glancing at him. "Oh Y/n..." he said, giving you a sad smile. He made it his mission to get rid of all of the dark thoughts that littered your mind, he'd do it for hours if it meant you'd be okay.

Murata Fuma

He held you tightly in his arms as you cried your eyes out. You guys have been together for quite a bit and he had never seen you this upset before. "Y/n, you're more than enough for me. I wouldn't ask for anyone else. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, I really do. I want you, your flaws, your imperfections, your mistakes, everything that comes with you. You worry to much honey.." He said, looking down at you. You softly smiled at him, feeling reassured. "Thank you.." You said softly, burying yourself into his warmth. "Of course sweetie." He replied, pulling you in closer.

Byun Euijoo (EJ)

One of your friends led EJ to the practice room you broke down in. "I have no clue what's wrong.. I was hoping you would.." She said, opening the door for him. He sighed with a small frown. "Thanks." he said, walking in and quickly pulling you into a hug. Quiet, choked sobs were all that left your lips as he held you, he didn't ask any questions he just tried his best to calm you down. It's not the first time this has happened so he knew what to do. "Shh.. breath angel.." he spoke softly, gently rubbing up and down your back. That's all you needed to feel better, just to be held and understood, and EJ had that for you.

Wang Yixiang (Nicho)

You automatically went to find Nicho as soon as you felt tears stream down your face. Gently knocking on his door. He almost immediately opened it just to be met with your tears stained cheeks and furrowed eyebrows. "N-Nicho..." You said quietly with a broken voice. "Oh no, Baby.." He said, looking at you worriedly. He pulled you into his room and sat you down on his bed. "Talk to me Y/n.." He said softly, brushing your hair out of your face. Tears automatically began to spill out from your eyes once again. "They said I wasn't good enough.. for you or for anyone.." You said quietly. He took you hand, gently caressing it. "What..? Baby who..?" He asked. "The girls.. at work.. they won't shut up about it.." You replied. He sighed, slightly irritated, this wasn't the first occurrence with those girls. "Baby, ignore them.. I know it's hard but, know that it isn't true okay..? You are enough. Especially for me, okay..?" He said softly, looking at you. You nodded. "Okay.. "

Nakakita Yuma

You hated the Internet, you hated it with all of your heart. You could never understand how people could make up the meanest comments about you, and they didn't even know you. You sat on the ground, scrolling through the endless horrible hate comments. You hoped you could at least find one positive one but no. Yuma had walked in, unnoticed by you. Suddenly a gentle hand took the phone from your hands and turned it off. Yuma crouched down to your eye level, looking at you with worried eyes. "Why do you do this to yourself precious..?" He asked softly, wiping your tears away. He pulled you closer to him, kissing your head. "You're enough Y/n."

Asakura Jo

You had been hanging out in the studio as Jo practiced with a dance partner. You watched as they bonded fairly easy and how the their movements perfectly paired with each other. Sitting there in thought. Should I even be with him right now? Why would he want to be with a no body? He should date one of those ethereal idols that were up his alley. You sighed quietly and got up, leaving the studio to go outside. You sat on a bench just waiting for all of this to be over. "Hey you okay..?" Jo asked, walking out of the buildings front door with his bag, assuming he was just about ready to leave. "Oh-yeah.." You nodded, glancing over at him. He sighed quietly and sat next to you. "Alright, what's wrong..?" He asked softly. "Nothing." You responded blankly. "No, I know somethings wrong, the Y/n I know doesn't act like this." He said. "Are you sure you wouldn't be happier with someone else..?" You asked, finally turning to him. Your question had caught him off guard. "What..? No, of course not. Y/n, I wouldn't be with you right now if I didn't like you." He said softly. You sighed quietly. "Sorry.. I don't mean to doubt you." You apologized. "Don't apologize.. sometimes you just need a bit of reassurance." He said with a small smile, gently pecking the corner of your mouth.

Shigeta Harua

At school a lot people found Harua attractive. Which is fine you had thought so too of course, but as a foreigner a lot of people didn't seem to like the fact that you were with him. And of course that came with a lot of looks and people talking behind your back. Usually you had no problem tuning their voices out. However, recently it's been getting to you. Eventually their voices became too loud to handle. "Can I use the bathroom?" You asked the teacher, she gave you the nod of approval and you darted out the door of the classroom. You went inside of a stall and sat on top of the toilet to cool off. What the hell is going on with me? I was totally fine, why all of a sudden? You slightly jolted up as you got a message from your phone.

Harua💌: hey, are you alright? Wya?

Y/n: all good, I'll be back

Harua💌: typing...

You closed your phone before he could reply and headed out the stall, you purposely waited until it was time for lunch, walking out of the bathroom you of course ran into Harua. "You're being weird, what wrong?" He asked, lifting your head up by your chin, forcing you to look at him. "... I don't know.." You spoke truthfully, tears threatening to spill. "I used to be perfectly fine, had no trouble ignoring what they say about me but now it's hard to ignore, they won't stop.." you said quietly, tears streaming down your face. "Love..." he said with a small frown, pulling you into a hug. "You're alright.. you'll be okay.." He reassured you softly.

Takayma Riki (Taki)

His friends never seemed to like you much. You could never understand why, you weren't a bad person. "Taki could do better." "He could pull anyone, and he settled for her?" "Bro what are you doing?" You sighed quietly and left the conversation, walking away from them. You hear Taki scold them from behind you as you walked off. You heard some yelling but chose to tune out the words. "Y/n!" He yelled. He caught up to you, taking your hand. "I'm so sorry.. they don't know what they're talking about. Don't worry about them, they're irrelevant." He spoke, taking your face in his hands. "Your perfect." He said with a soft smile, looking at you with love struck eyes. And you of course couldn't help but smile back at him.

Hirota Riki (Maki)

You had been avoiding Maki all day, and he knew it, he was worried that he had done something wrong. He had let it slide for the school day, but when you didn't respond to his text he went to your house. You sighed quietly as you went to open the door, already knowing it was him. "Hey.." I said quietly. My eyes glanced at everything but him. "You're avoiding me." He said. You glanced at him then glanced away. "No I'm not." you denied. "Then look at me." he said, taking a step closer to you. You hesitantly looked up at him, tears pooling in your eyes. "Schatz, what's wrong..?" He asked softly with a frown, even though he already knew what was wrong, he always knows what's bothering you. You didn't reply, leaning your head onto his chest with a quiet sob. He looked down at you worriedly, wrapping his arms around your waist. He wasn't going to make you spit it out, but he'd be there when you were ready to.

#andteam imagines #kpop imagines #andteam #kpop #andteam x reader #kpopidol #andteam nicholas #&team #andteam yuma #andteam k #andteam maki #andteam harua #andteam fuma #andteam ej

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deadqueerboys · 5 months

Text

Okay, so.. the Wine Stream just ended, and I have thoughts!!!

Wilbur Soot x Reader (headcanons sfw/nsfw)

First time writing for Wilbur, I have no idea if he allows it or not.

I have the conscience that I'm gross for that. You have no idea of how ashamed I'm.. but horny thoughts are horny thoughts!!

No gender specific, I'm more used to writing for male/gender neutral reader.

NO MINORS HERE!!!

I'm the king of starting a thing and not finishing it! You gonna see this a lot on this one, i don't know why i am like this. If you want me to keep going with those, just ask me. Also, I'm accepting requests again! For Quackity, Wilbur, Slimecicle, and who whatever you guys want!

Does anybody really read that? I know you want to scroll until the nsfw part.

Sfw - because I'm a nice person.

I can only imagine this guy coming home from a fly or spending time with friends and needing to see you.

He loves to be close to you. Especially touching you in a soft way, like holding hands, petting your hair, or just letting his hand for you to play with it. (I'm autistic, I swear i can spend hours just playing with somebody's else hand, moving the fingers up and down, like a child).

Wilbur is always kind, and he might or not get worried when you call him William.

It was almost 1am, Wilbur spent more than two hours just seeing some videos and also trying to get an inspiration for a new song. You were worried. You've always been, but he insisted that it was just his work.

"Hey, love, uhm.. I'm going to sleep if that's okay for you.." You say with a tired and weak smile, trying to be positive.

Wilbur didn't heard, he never did when he had headphones on. You got closer to his chair, taking his headphones.

"Ugh! William, I'm going to sleep, okay? Don't make any loud noise." You said before rolling your eyes.

Something just happened. Wilbur's mind just stopped. He got up, and in a question of second, he was already in front of you. Always with those puppy eyes, like if he did something wrong.

"What did you just call me?" He asked, his voice sounding like a lost child: kind but scared.

Loves to talk with you about anything and everything, geography in special. He had some other hyperfocus, but that one hits hard!

Need stimulation, like playing with fidget toys like a spiner and those kinda of things, but loves when his partner notices it. Imagine backing home from a day of work or studying and he just hugs you and ask how was your day, after a long conversation, which he was looking kinda upset, you give him one of those colorful toys who shine and you have to touch all of the buttons who are lighting. Oh my God, he's so happy! He plays with it all the time. And he always makes sure to remember that his partner gave him this.

Clingy, but not in a weird way. A sweet way. Soft hugs, kisses on the cheek, arms around of you in public, and anything he feels like doing.

He has so many ways of expressing himself for you! He can sing, write, read, talk, give you gifts, literally everything!

He has such a sweet smell, he never smells bad!

Loves to give you comfort. If it's a cold night, you can sleep with the sure that in the moment that you woke up, you'll have socks on your feet and one more blanket than you slept with. As you slowly woke up, he's sleeping with his messy hair all over his face, it's an adorable image!!

(It might be kinda amab at this part, but..) Come on, give him some of your clothes, you know he looks perfect on it!

Now nsfw - because I act like a slut even being asexual.

MORNING SEX!! He's all messy, but now he's holding your waist from behind, rolling his body against yours. You don't even notice it, and then you feel a hard thing touching your leg, which makes you almost jump. In fact, you couldn't, because his hold was too strong.

"Mhm.. babe, wake up.." You whispered, trying to look in any direction as you couldn't move your neck for look behind you, where he was.

"I'm already awake.. it's been a while, actually." Wilbur smirked. Now that he knows you're awake, his plans will turn into actions. "Tell me.. did you miss me, huh? Did you miss it..?" His voice is teasing. He knows that. He started to kiss your neck while putting you closer to him, if that was possible.

Now, think with me, he's all tired and he wanted to bad to be kind with you, but today was passing him off! The make-out season just started to be more aggressive. His body is taking all the control over you. And you almost can't breathe. Even though he seems like not caring for it.

"W-wil.." You asked, taking the breath you could before he keeps kissing you aggressively.

"Yes, honey? Do you want something?" He asks, that dirty smile on his face was just there for arouse you. Wilbur looked at you before starting to kiss and suck your neck. "You're so pretty.."

He kept talking while you started to grab his hair. As you moaned. You felt him getting harder.

Loves compliments you while having sex.

He's a totally bitch when we are talking about hickeys, Wilbur loves to give you them, all the time, you're his propriety, why wouldn't he like that?

He also loves it when you give him marks, scratching your nails on his back and in his chest, biting him in anywhere, but sometimes he might ask you to be careful, he doesn't want so many attention for it when he's making an concert.

Hates public sex, but lives for public teasing! Hands on your thighs, slowly going up.. when you look at him, he acts as if he isn't doing anything.

(For M! Reader or just amab, i'm sorry):

He would totally sit on your lap on public! He's moving and slowly going up and down while he still keeps having a normal talk with other people. When he finally feels he got you, that he turned you on as much as possible, he get up and gives you a kiss on the cheek.

"What? You weren't thinking about this now, right? Babe.. we're in public.." Wilbur plays innocent, giving you his hodie so you can cover your erection.

You know what he wants, everybody knows what he wants!

Oh, please, moan his name! That's the only moment he would love hearing you call him as William. (Will still better to moan, in my opinion).

Such a perv with a smile on his face! You know what he's doing. He does it for fun.

So, this scenario didn't get out of my head for a while.. it's personal, I think. Also, it's really gross and maybe too kinky. Maybe I could call this one as "Playing Alone". Enjoy it if you want:

You spend all the day out, and by the text, something was obviously wrong with Wilbur. He said he was only playing guitar, and as a gentleman, he asked if he could take your guitar to try a new thing. You said yes, there was no reason to say no. But, the feeling that had something happening just couldn't get out of your mind. As you go home, you go upstairs. As you're getting closer to your room, you can hear his soft moans. Oh, that little bitch, he couldn't even wait until you got home?

"Wilbur? Babe, are you there?" What a dumb question. You knew he was there! Still, you asked because, depending on his reaction, the things you are doing with him later might change.

"Yes.. yes.. uh.. that's not a good moment!" He says he was desperate. You felt that. You started to hear him moving and fast, running around the room, maybe hiding something. Then, he opens the door with a big smile and his clothes all messy and crumpled. "Hi love.."

You took a long saw of the room, nothing was out of place.. except that your guitar wasn't there. "Uhm.. babe? Where's my guitar?"

"Your guitar?" He seemed more nervous as he looked at all the places except in your eyes. "Oh, I broke it. I.. it fell on the floor.. and I.."

"YOU WHAT?!" You screamed, an angry tone on your voice. He couldn't have done that.. he wouldn't even dare think about that!

"Okay.. alright, calm down! I didn't break it... you know.. all of your clothes have my smell now.. I was needy, and I tried to distract myself by playing with your guitar.." He started to explain himself, blushing as hell, making fast moves with his hands. "It weirdly had you smell in it because you said you always let a paper with your perfume inside of it.. I started to play it, just some normal melody, and.. when I noticed my mind were already out."

"What do you mean with out? I know you jerk off, but.. oh God... no! No! No!" You shake your had while denied it. "No, you didn't!"

"I'm.. I'm sorry, okay?" Wilbur stuttered nervously.

"Just show me it! How bad was it..?"

Wilbur walked inside the room and took the guitar out of the closet, where he had put her before. The guitar has cum over all of it. Probably not inside, so it wasn't a big problem, but it still looks sticky and milky. Between all of the emotions.. horny was the one who provided.

"Oh.. babe, you were missing me, huh?" You asked, a smirk on your face, grabbing his chin, making he look at you..

As I said, I like to don't finish some projects, let some other people imagination be free. If you continue it, make sure to let me see it, I'm anxious.

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iridescent-petrichor · 1 year

Text

if i could i would be anybody else

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: vague insecurity mention, alcohol mention

Words: 1K

It was a typical party at the beach, only a couple minute's walk from the Chateau, and you found yourself sitting on the outskirts, leaning against a tree with a half-empty solo cup in your hand. You could’ve sworn the entire island was here, dancing their hearts out to music that was blasting so loud you could feel it in your throat.

John B was off with Sarah, dancing much closer to the middle of the crowd than you were, embracing all the noise and people and alcohol. Pope was sat on a log beside a couple of tourons, talking very enthusiastically about something you couldn’t hear. Kie was grabbing another drink, getting sidetracked to lecture a passerby about something you were sure they’d done. JJ was stood leaning against a tree, drink in hand with a very pretty girl batting her eyelashes at him.

You always envied how your friends were able to find their places to be at parties. It always ended the same, with you standing alone away from the crowd, watching drunk people trip over themselves until it was socially acceptable to leave.

The noise and crowd was overwhelming, and you set your cup down, glancing around once more before making your way down the beach, trudging towards the Chateau for some much-needed peace and quiet.

When you finally arrived, you beelined to the bathroom to splash some water on your face, taking a deep breath and then staring into the mirror for a minute.

You hadn’t noticed, however, when you snuck off, JJ’s gaze was fixated on you, setting his own cup down when he watched you slip away. He was vaguely aware of the girl in front of him, still telling him a story, leaving her with a half-assed excuse before he followed you.

You were still staring into the mirror, starting to pick apart all of your flaws, not bothering to wipe away the tears that were now streaming down your face.

It wasn’t often that you let your insecurities get such a strong hold on you, but sometimes you got in your own head when you were sitting alone at a party while your friends had the times of their lives. You couldn’t help but wonder if they were happier with you gone.

A knock on the bathroom door startled you out of your thoughts.

“Y/N?” JJ’s voice confused you. “You alright in there?”

Quickly, you wiped the tears from your eyes, frowning when you realized they were so red and puffy that you knew JJ would notice.

You opened the door, giving him a smile. It was futile, as JJ’s face falls the second he takes in your appearance.

“Hey,” Ever so gently, he moved forward, resting his hand on your cheek. “What happened?”

You shook your head, moving back into the bathroom to sit against the wall. “Nothing, just got a little overwhelmed.”

“You should’ve told me,” With furrowed brows, he took a seat opposite you, his back against the bathtub. “I would’ve walked you back.”

You shook your head again. “You were busy, I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“You never bother me,” He insisted, and despite how loud your insecurities were in your brain you could tell he was entirely genuine.

Rolling your eyes playfully, you nodded, conceding your point.

“I’ll stay with you,” JJ said, making himself as comfortable as possible on the bathroom floor.

“You don’t have to-”

“I know.” His voice was firm in a way you didn’t see often. It was a tone he used only with you, and only when you weren’t particularly confident in yourself.

Still, you persisted. “JJ, you should go have fun. I don’t wanna take away from that.” Despite how much it ate at you seeing JJ flirting with random girls, you didn’t want to stop him from the constant flirting, or shotgunning a beer surrounded by his friends instead of sitting on the floor of John B’s dingy bathroom with you.

“Besides,” He sighed almost dramatically, stretching. “It won’t be any fun if you’re not there.”

You didn’t say anything, mind still running wild over how much you doubted his words. Surely your presence didn’t change whether or not JJ or anyone was having a good time.

Looking at the floor, you didn’t see the way JJ’s gaze softened at the sight of you.

“You know, we do like spending time with you.” He very gently nudged your leg with his foot, making you look up at him. It was as if he could peer into the deepest parts of your brain, dissecting exactly what you were worried about.

“I know.” Neither you nor JJ were convinced, with your halfhearted tone. You averted your gaze once more, and JJ’s heart broke at how small and meek you seemed.

He moved from his spot, crawling over to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around you.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” JJ could tell you weren’t gonna open up more, and instead decided to change the subject.

You shook your head once more, fighting the urge to apologize for daring to not want to watch a movie. “I don’t think I could pay attention to anything right now.”

He nodded, standing before holding his hand out for you to grab, helping you up as well.

“Then let’s just go to bed. You look exhausted, sunshine.” The pet name fell easily from his lips, something he’d called you for years. It never failed to make you smile, even on nights like this.

You let him lead you out of the bathroom, towards the guest room that he’d made his own.

The two of you quickly change facing away from each other, with you grabbing an old shirt of his that he kept at the Chateau.

When you were done, you both climbed into the bed under the covers. JJ didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, pulling you impossibly close. It was an embrace so sweet that you finally felt like you could breathe again, snuggling closer to him and feeling yourself already starting to fall asleep.

The pogues would come back later and find you two in his bed, tangled in each other’s arms. They would surely make a whole scene about it, but that was a problem for future you to sort out.

#jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader

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metallicaislife · 5 months

Text

Introverted

Requested by: @dallysnecklace

Genre: Angstish Fluff

Word Count: 1,223

Warnings: Rude Lars(I swear I don't hate him, he just makes a compelling villain lmao), feelings of self doubt.

Solitude is what brings me peace. I can read, listen to music. Do whatever I want, whenever I want.

Then Kirk came stumbling into my life, quite literally.

Back when we were in high school he ran into me in the library. The books I held on to went flying. He saw the Stephen King book I had in the stack. After that incident in some way or another he was always by my side. I was annoyed at first, but the dork wormed his way into my life. Now, years later, not only is he my best friend, I’m totally in love with him. Am I still about as awkward as the first day we met? Absolutely. But for some reason he still sticks by me, even now as he’s living out his dreams of being a rockstar.

Kirk and I were walking to a bookstore, we were in a comfortable silence.

“I like you,” he started, “like a lot. I want to be more than friends.” He continued. My heart was hammering in my chest. I couldn’t think straight. I immediately stopped and turned around.

“Hey, wait! Where are you going?” I could faintly hear him ask as the blood pulsated in my veins. I didn’t stop. Not until I found myself in my apartment. I leaned against the door. I finally let myself catch my breath and process what he said. I’ve liked Kirk forever. And I probably just ruined that opportunity simply by malfunctioning when he told me he likes me.

I jumped letting out a small scream when there was a knock on my door. I held my hand over my heart and opened the door.

“Can we please talk about what just happened.” Kirk asked out of breath. His eyes were wide with worry, scared he’d said or done the wrong thing.

“I’m sorry I speed walked away.” I whispered. He laughed breathlessly.

“I like you too.” I whispered. His eyebrows perked up.

“What was that?” He asked, “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I like you too.” I said again, this time a little louder. A goofy grin spread across his lips.

“Not gonna run away again?” He asked. I shook my head.

Kirk, I came to find out was the best person I could possibly date. He was patient and kind, but he helped me push my boundaries. I became more confident in myself. I mean, at the core I was still me, just with some more pep in my step. I knew I had Kirk to rely on, and he could always rely on me.

I went to the Metallimansion to hang out with Kirk. I quietly entered the house. I went to take off my shoes when I heard Lars talking.

“I just don’t get what he sees in her.”

“It’s not up to you to decide what he does or doesn’t see in her.” I heard Cliff respond. This could be about anybody.

“She’s just so mousy and can hardly maintain eye contact. She gets flustered so easily it’s like walking on eggshells, Y/N is just so annoying.” Lars complained. Okay not about just anybody, this was definitely about me.

“Dude shut the hell up before I punch you. She’s nice, she has quirks just like the rest of us do. Stop being a dick.” Cliff defended.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I silently backed out and went home as fast as I could.

I knew it, it doesn’t matter how much I think I’ve changed, it's still the same. I curled up in my bed and just cried.

A while later my phone rang. I sluggishly got up and answered it before it went to voicemail.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, babe. Where were you today? You were supposed to come over, I’m worried.” Kirk’s voice came over the line.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Something came up.” I lied.

“Oh. Okay, that’s fine. Could you let me know next time? I really thought something bad happened.” Kirk said.

“Yeah. Of course. Sorry.” I said in an even tone.

“Are you okay?” Kirk asked.

“Yup.” I answered. Kirk was silent for a few minutes.

“If you say so.” He sounded a little dejected.

“Well I gotta go, bye.”

“Wait, I love-“ he started but I hung up as a fresh wave of tears made their way down my face.

I curled back up in my bed going to sleep trying to forget it all.

My head was pounding, as was my front door. I groaned, getting up and answering the door. Kirk stood outside with a frustrated look on his face.

“Can I come in?” He asked. I couldn’t meet his eyes. I simply nodded and opened the door letting him in.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked. I turned to face him, my eyes still focused on the floor. “Please look at me.” He practically begged. I took a deep breath finally looking up. Kirk looked really upset. It’s all my fault. It would be easier if I wasn’t a burden to him.

“What’s going on? Why are you pulling away? Please don’t lie to me and say everything is okay.” He said to me, my bottom lip wobbled.

“I heard Lars talking about me to Cliff. It just reminded me you’re way out of my league and it’s best I just hang out by myself.” I said, wringing my hands together. Kirk reached out to still my hands.

“That’s not true.” Kirk said sternly, “you’re so amazing, funny, and kind. I love you just the way you are. Have I enjoyed seeing you more confident in yourself? Absolutely, it means you’re starting to see yourself the way I see you.” He said, fresh tears filled my eyes. Kirk brought his fingers up and started wiping away my tears.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Lars was being a dick with whatever he said. Cliff too.” Kirk replied.

“No, not Cliff. He defended me.” I said. Kirk smiled.

“I’m glad. Wanna go cuddle while I tell you all the things I love about you?” Kirk asked softly.

“Cuddle yes, but if you start complimenting me I might combust.” I said, Kirk laughed as he interlocked our fingers dragging me to the couch. He laid down and pulled me on top of him holding me close.

“Any time you start to feel that way, please don’t pull away. Come to me and I’ll give you so many reasons why I love you and think you’re absolutely incredible.” He said, rubbing my back softly. “Oh and I’m kicking Lars ass, no ifs ands or buts.” Kirk said.

“Cliff may have beat you to it, I didn’t stay long enough to hear fists fly.” I said softly. Kirk chuckled.

“Glad I can rely on Cliff to have your back.” Kirk said.

“Me too. He’s a good friend.” I said.

“You consider him a friend?” Kirk asked, he sounded excited. I nodded. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you for weaseling your way into my life. I love you.” I said.

“I love you.” He said, kissing my forehead.

I smiled nuzzling into his warmth. I would be forever grateful for Kirk who came stumbling into my life and stayed, showing me there was more than just books and solitude.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to request or chat :)

-Isa

#metallica x reader #metallica #metallica imagines #metallica scenarios #kirk hammett x reader #kirk hammett #metallica fluff #kirk hammett fluff

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imaginestuffs · 2 years

Text

Who Do You Love? Pt.2- Ex Eddie Munson x reader, now Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 14.53k

Warnings: Language, angst to fluff, allusions to sex, I think that's everything! if not let me know!

Summary: a continuation of part 1. Reader has to try and move on from Eddie, she remembers the good times. Her friends are there for her, and something seems to blossom between her and Steve. Maybe she'll be ok now.

(gifs not mine!)

Walking away from Eddie was probably the hardest thing you’d ever had to do. You knew you needed to find a payphone and call someone to come get you, you didn’t want to be alone right now. You remembered that the nearest place to have a payphone would be the diner on the corner so that’s exactly where you went. You made your way to the diner trudging along through the cold bitter night. Doing your best to stop more tears from falling down your face, you didn’t know what to do anymore. He had been your best friend before you began dating since you were 7 years old and now it was all gone. Your love was lost and that was that.

You saw the diner and quickly made your way to the payphone that sat outside of it. Reaching the phone you dug through your pockets praying that there would be some change. You finally found enough and you could’ve cried from how relieved you were. Thinking about who to call was easy enough, knowing that Nancy had something she needed to do tonight you decided to call Robin. You knew she and Steve were at work but you couldn’t think of anybody else to call. Not knowing if Steve knew about the situation you were a bit nervous about telling him. You knew how protective he was of you, but that also meant he would come and get you in a heartbeat. The thought of being with the people who do love you made fresh tears come to your eyes. You would be surrounded by warmth and not the freezing emptiness of lost love.

Placing the change in the slot you entered the number and you heard Robin’s voice come through.

---

Robin and Steve were bored at the end of their shift. They knew no more customers were going to come in and so they finished rearranging the movies back into their original places and doing inventory. Suddenly the phone rang and Robin sighed heavily before answering it, her eyes widened at the sound of your voice and she perked up. “(y/n), wait, don’t cry, please don’t cry,” she tried to console you in her very chaotic Robin kind of way. Pretty much in a panic.

Steve overheard the conversation and immediately he was standing by Robin asking what was going on.

You were standing in front of the diner with tears streaming down your face as you tried to explain to Robin what was going on. “I did it, I confronted him. He finally told me, he admitted that he didn’t love me anymore and that he loves Chrissy,” you cried through the phone.

Steve finally snatched the phone from Robin and heard you crying. His eyes went wide at the sound of your sobs through the phone. His worry was skyrocketing as seconds passed. “Woah, Woah, hey, (y/n), what’s going on?” he asked in worry. Your breath hitched at the sound of Steve’s voice. “Steve, can you please come get me, please,” you whimpered. His heart dropped, and his brows furrowed. “Wait, where are you? I’m on my way just tell me where you are,” he said. Robin went and grabbed her stuff from the back as you told Steve where you were.

“Just hang tight, we’ll be there soon ok, go inside don’t stay in the cold. I’ll come and get you ok? I promise we’ll be there soon,” He reassured you and you nodded though he couldn’t see it. “Ok, ok, thank you so much,” you breathed out and hung up the phone.

Your hands were shaking from being completely overwhelmed and in the cold for so long. You walked to the glass doors and stopped as you looked inside. It was the diner you used to go to with Eddie, the corner booth every Saturday morning for breakfast and milkshakes way too late into the night. You didn’t want to go in, you noticed your usual waitress and you cried even more. You had a feeling she would ask where he was and you couldn’t handle telling her what had happened. You decided to just stay outside and wait for them to get there.

You just sat there against the wall, basking in your hurt. You didn’t know what else to do, you lost so much in a matter of minutes and it all was just so overwhelming. Nothing felt real, you could see him in everything around you. You remembered the moments you had in this parking lot in the middle of the night. Dancing around in the rain, stealing kisses, and playing air guitar. Running from him when you stole his lighter, and him catching you around the waist spinning you around till you felt dizzy. Hiding in the corner booth laughing at absolutely everything. Now there was nothing, it meant nothing to him anymore.

You didn’t even hear Steve’s car pull up. They both got out and noticed you sitting right outside. You looked so lost, and it broke their hearts. Robin was the first to reach you, slowly crouching down next to you as Steve did the same in front of you. “Hey, sweetheart,” you heard Steve’s voice and immediately your eyes snapped up noticing both of them there. “I’m sorry,” you said suddenly feeling bad for making them come out here for you. “Why would you be sorry?” he asked with eyes filled with worry. Robin had told him everything on the way over and he was pissed.

“I could’ve just walked home and you wouldn’t have had to come out here,” you said and felt a lump form in your throat. “Don’t be silly, I’m so glad you called us. I would hate you walking home all alone, especially like this,” Robin said and you looked over at her with a watery smile. “Why didn’t you wait inside? it’s freezing out here,” Steve asked. “I couldn’t go in there, I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I keep remembering, I didn’t want to remember, but it doesn’t go away” your voice cracked. He stood up and pulled you to your feet gently. “Well, let’s get you warm, and take you home huh?” he asked and you nodded. You reached forward to grab his hand and looked at Robin beside you and held out your other hand. She took it softly and they guided you to the car.

You slid into the passenger seat while Robin took the back. They knew at that moment that all you needed were your friends and so they were there for you. Steve held your hand as he drove and Robin tried to make you laugh the whole way. Eventually getting some giggles out of you as she told you about an old woman hitting on Steve at the store earlier. You looked over at Steve with a raised brow. He rolled his eyes, “That story is never going to go away is it?” he asked and you both shook your heads. “No way,” you said at the same time and chuckled. Steve smiled at the sound of your laughter, his heart warming at the smile that had slowly been coaxed out of you though small.

He thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and had harbored a crush on you since the night you fought off those Demodogs. His tiny crush had developed over the years and he ended up falling in love with you. When you started dating Eddie his heart broke, he knew that it was over for him. He did what he could to get over you and nothing seemed to work. So the minute you called crying his mind went into overdrive. When Robin told him what had happened his heart hammered in his chest, and he had to fight every instinct to find Eddie and make him pay for what he did to you.

He didn’t realize that his grip on the steering wheel had tightened, and you noticed his grip on your hand got tighter as well. You looked over at him in worry, “Steve,” you said and squeezed his hand. He looked over at you and you could tell that something was wrong. “Steve, what’s wrong?” you asked. “It’s nothing,” he said and tried to smile at you. You didn’t believe a word he said but just nodded. The rest of the drive was silent. You dropped Robin off and before she got out she leaned over the seat to kiss your cheek, “Call me in the morning ok,” she said and you nodded your head. “I will. Love you Robs,” you said and she returned the sentiment before walking into her house.

“Steve, I know that it’s a lot to ask, and you can say no but, um,” you trailed off a bit. Becoming too nervous to ask him to stay for a while. He glanced over at you and squeezed your hand. “Nothing is too much to ask, especially not right now,” he said and tried to soothe your nerves. You took a deep breath, “Would you stay with me for a while? it doesn’t have to be long, I just don’t want to be alone,” you said shyly. “Of course, I’ll stay for as long as you need me ok,” he said and you nodded softly.

You pulled up to your house and slowly got out of the car, and walked up to the door with Steve placing a gentle hand on the small of your back to guide you along. You were thankful for his warm presence not wanting to be in the cold any longer. You felt like you had been left in the snow for months as Eddie slowly left you, and you finally gained the warmth you so desperately needed within your friends.

You unlocked your door and you lead him up the stairs and to your room. He had been there before and so it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen. Posters on the walls and the soft blue bedding that you adored so much. He thought it was absolutely adorable. You still had the bear he had won you at the fair a few years back sitting on your bed next to one that Eddie had won you as well. You quickly snatched the second bear off of the bed and placed it into your closet. You sat on your bed and took a deep breath. “Do you want to talk?” he asked. You shook your head, “Not really, would you mind listening to something with me?” you asked. “Of course not, we can listen to anything you want,” he said and you smiled slightly. “You sure? You don’t mind The Eagles do you?” you asked as you walked to grab the album and put it on. “Not at all,” he said with an encouraging smile. “Hotel California ok?” you asked. “I love that one,” he said despite not knowing the band too well, and most definitely not knowing the songs on the album. You smiled brightly. “That’s awesome, my favorite song has to be either Victim of Love or, of course, Hotel California, or maybe New Kid in Town,” You said and chuckled nervously at your three different options. “Well they’re just too good to choose one huh?” he asked and you chuckled. “You don’t listen to them much do you?” you asked with a tiny smile. “That obvious?” he asked and you shrugged. “Just a bit, that’s ok though, is it still alright if I play them?” you asked. “No, Yeah of course,” he said and ran his hand through his hair. “Now that I think about it, New Kid in Town is my favorite,” you said and smiled. “I think you’ll like that one,” you said before you let the record begin to play.

Hotel California begins and you smile, “I really hope you like it,” you said and looked over at Steve. “I’m sure I will,” he said with a grin. He toed his shoes off and left them by the door and laid his jacket over the back of your desk chair. “Would you mind if I got comfortable?” you asked shyly. You weren’t usually nervous around Steve, but tonight felt different, you felt very vulnerable.

“You can always get comfortable around me, you know I don’t mind,” he said and you nodded your head. You walked to your dresser and opened it just to see that Eddie’s shirt was still sitting in there. You instinctively reached for it but stopped yourself. You took a deep breath before moving it aside to grab an old shirt and a pair of pajama pants.

You walked to the ensuite and turned on the shower. You knew Steve wouldn’t mind waiting for you, he had done it before and so it wasn’t a very big deal.

Steve watched you close the door and sighed heavily. He let himself flop down on the bed and groan. He was so in love with you it hurt. He could smell your perfume on the comforter and that candle you loved so much. He was always hit with the scent of rosewater and ivy as soon as he walked into your room and it was something that always seemed to bring him a sense of comfort. He listened to the music and smiled at the thought of you dancing around your room to it. Singing it on your way to visit them at work, on their lunch break. A smile settled on his face as he sat up and noticed the pictures on your nightstand. In the midst of the group pictures was one framed one. It was one of you and him, you stood in front of him and his arms wrapped around your shoulders with his chin resting on your head. You were in the middle of a laugh, and he remembered that day more clearly than anything.

He sat on the edge of your bed with the picture in hand. His smile was bright as he remembered that day. He didn’t notice that you had walked out. “That’s one of my favorite pictures,” you said. He turned to look at you and saw that you were walking over to him. You looked absolutely adorable, so soft in your pajamas, with no makeup and soft hair resting over your shoulder. You sat down next to him and leaned against his shoulder so you could look at the photo too. He warmed up at the contact, your favorite rosewater body wash made him want to melt. “I was so happy that day, I just couldn’t stop laughing. You just kept making me laugh, it was one of my favorite days with you,” you said and rested your head on his shoulder.

“Really?” he asked almost in disbelief. “Yeah, I mean, You always make me happy. Like now, I can’t thank you enough for that,” you said and looked over at him with a sad smile. He looked over at you after setting the photo back in its place. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I’ll always be here ok?” he said and grabbed your hands in his. You nodded your head. “I’ll always be here for you too, anytime you need me,” you said and squeezed his hands.

“I have an idea,” Steve said and got up taking you with him. “And what is that?” you asked. “Let’s listen to your favorite song,” he said and gestured to the record player. You raised your brow as you walked over to the player. “You want to?” you asked. “I’d love to,” he said and you smiled giddily before swiftly moving the needle back to where it needed to be.

“Alright this is it,” you said and smiled when you heard the first notes. As the song starts he walked towards you. He grips your hand and pulled you closer to him. You chuckled when you felt him spin you around. “What are you doing?” you asked and smiled up at him. “We’re dancing,” he said and you giggled. His heart melted at the sound, he watched how happy you were at this moment. He was sad it couldn’t last forever. How anyone could make the mistake of losing someone like you was incomprehensible to him. You were sweet, silly, brave, and smart. Absolutely beautiful with a kind soul. The way your hair moves around when you dance and the way you laugh when you both stumble. The jokes you made and the way your nose scrunched up and your eyes narrowed when he told a bad joke. You just being you.

He had no idea what Eddie was thinking but he knew for a fact that you deserve better than that. And he hoped that just maybe at some point he would get to treat you right.

The night had finally come to an end knowing that it was time for him to go seeing as he worked early tomorrow.

You walked down the stairs with Steve going to walk him out. You got to the door and opened it letting a cool breeze blow into the house. You shivered a bit and looked over at your friend. “I actually really liked that Album,” he said trying his best to get even just a sliver of more time with you. “I’m glad you did, I thought you might,” you said and smiled softly at him. He nodded, “You know, I think I have to say that my favorite would be Wasted Time,” he told you and you bit back a smile and bounced on the balls of your feet. “Yeah?” you asked excitedly. “Yeah,” he laughed lightly. “I’m so glad you liked the record,” you said. “We’ll have to listen to it again,” he said and you nodded happily. “Definitely,” you said and reached up to place your arms around his neck. He smiled and pulled you closer into his embrace. “Thank you, Steve,” you said softly. He could feel your breath against his neck and it made him hold you tighter. “You never have to thank me,” he said and kissed the side of your head.

You pulled away and he could see the tears in your eyes. “You’re not alone ok, you have us. You have me,” he reassured you and you sent him a watery smile. “Love you, Stevie,” you said and hugged him one more time. “Love you too,” he squeezed your hand before telling you goodnight and walking to his car. Oh, how he wished you loved him like he loved you.

You waited until you couldn’t see his lights anymore before you closed the door. Sighing heavily you made the walk back up to your room.

You pushed open the door and looked around, you sighed at the residual warmth Steve had left behind, and tried to focus on that. Tried to focus on your friends. You struggled as you climbed into your bed. You lay down and you couldn’t help but feel the vacancy beside you, now you knew it would never be warmed by the body you loved so much ever again. It was a hollow feeling as you stared at the pillow next to you, not noticing that tears had begun to fall once more. You shut your eyes tightly and clenched the sheets in your fists until your knuckles turned white. Tears soaked your pillow case, and your breath caught in your throat as you tried to hold back the sobs that so desperately wanted to come out.

It was dark and the cold began to creep into the room again, your memories played over again behind your eyelids. The moments of love and happiness slowly made their way to the forefront of your mind.

He was lying next to you with that big grin you always loved. He was doing his best not to let out a laugh as you muttered sleepily about something that happened in class that day. He had asked you what grade you had gotten on the final exam and you had first talked about it vigorously. Excited that you had actually passed, but slowly as time dragged by he saw your eyes get heavier and your voice slurring sleepily. He leaned over and tucked a strand of hair away from your face. “Why don’t you get some sleep babe,” he said softly and you shook your head. “No, I didn’t see you very much today. I want to stay up with you,” you said in determination as you rubbed your eyes. “We have all of this weekend to be together, it’s ok to sleep. I’ll be right here,” he said and let his knuckles graze your warm cheek. “You promise, you’ll be here when I wake up?” you asked and reached up to grab his hand in yours. He smiled softly and tangled his fingers with yours. “I promise, You won’t wake up to an empty bed Sweetheart,” he said and kissed your forehead. You nodded drowsily before lifting your chin, tilting your head up silently asking for a kiss. He chuckled and leaned forward to place a kiss on your lips. You hummed happily before tucking yourself into his side. “I love you, Eddie,” you mumbled. “I love you more. I love you forever,” he said and held you tightly against him feeling your breathing even out.

He was right, you didn’t wake up to an empty bed. He was right there.

You felt sick as you remembered that night. The last thing you heard was that he would love you forever. Now look at you, he fell in love with someone else and that promise of forever was dust in the wind.

Eventually, you fell asleep, only being able to keep yourself asleep for a few hours before you woke up and couldn’t sleep anymore.

You sat there awake curled up in your blankets, watching out the window as the sun slowly came up. The birds started chirping and the sun sent golden and peach hues across your room. You looked over at your clock and noticed that Robin would be awake by now. Keeping your promise you picked up your phone and dialed her number.

She picked up the phone, “Hey Robs,” you said softly. “Hey, how are you?” she asked, you could hear the frown on her face. “I’m ok,” you told her with a shaky breath. “It’s ok that you’re not ok right now,” she reminded you. You bit your lip and closed your eyes, “I’m really not,” you admitted to her. “Do you want us to come over after work?” she asked you. “No, no it’s ok you don’t have to do that,” you told her. “We don’t mind, really,” she tried to reassure you. “Really Robin you don’t have to,” you said. “Well, you know to give us a call whenever ok? I’m sure Kieth wouldn’t mind seeing as he’s had a crush on you for years,” she said and it made you let out a little chuckle. “Don’t remind me,” you laughed a bit. She smiled despite you not being able to see her. “Just saying you have options,” she joked and you laughed again. “That’s comforting,” you joked back and she laughed. “Alright, well I have to get going Steve is here. Call whenever ok? Love you,” she said and you smiled softly. “I love you too Robin,” she hung up the phone and you sighed before curling back into your blankets. You heard a knock on your door and you sighed. “Honey, can I come in?” you heard your mother call. You knew you couldn’t say no. “Come in mom,” you said and she opened the door. She saw you tangled in your sheets, “What’s going on?” she asked and sat on the edge of your bed. “It’s nothing mom, I’m fine,” you tried to deter her. “You’ve been crying honey,” she said and pushed your hair back. You knew you couldn’t avoid it forever. “I broke up with Eddie last night,” you told her and shut your eyes tight. You didn’t want to see her expression. “Oh, “ she cooed. “What happened?” she asked. “He doesn’t love me anymore, he’s been sneaking around with Chrissy Cunningham for 2 months,” you explained and took a shaky breath. You looked at her to see anger in her eyes. “That asshole,” she cursed and your eyes widened. You rarely ever heard her curse. “Mom,” you said in surprise. “It’s true. How dare he do that to you. The best thing that’s ever happened to that boy he just lost,” she stated matter of factly. “Would you like me to call his uncle?” she asked and your jaw dropped. “Oh my god, mother no. No, don’t do that,” you pleaded with fervor. “Alright, alright, but if you need anything you call me ok, I picked up an extra shift today so I’ll be home a bit late,” she told you and kissed your head. “Ok, mom, I’ll see you later, Have a good day,” you said and watched as she closed the door. You heard the front door close and you looked over at your nightstand.

Most of the pictures you had were of and with Eddie. You sat up slowly and picked one up. It was of you and him on your 18th birthday last year. Eddie was on your porch swing with you resting your head in his lap. You were looking at each other with bright smiles. It was one of your favorite days, and now those are gone.

You got out of your bed and went downstairs to maybe find a box of some sort. When you finally found one you walked back into your room. Silently you started putting Eddie’s things into the box. His old shirts and sweaters that you had stolen over the years, the gifts he gave you. You grabbed the teddy bear from the closet and took a good look at it before tossing it in the box. You threw in spare picks that always slipped from his pockets when he tossed his jeans to the floor. Lastly, you took off the necklace he gave you and put it into the box, your neck was suddenly bare and it made you uneasy. After all these years of wearing the small star pendant around your neck, you put it in the box to give away. You remembered you were about 15 when he won it for you at the arcade.

You sighed and set the box next to your door. You decided that taking a shower would be good for you, to wash away the tear stains and the emotions of yesterday so you could try and start over.

As the day dragged on you heard a knock at the door and your brows furrowed not knowing who it could be. You opened the door and there stood Robin and Nancy. They both held bags filled with what looked like snacks, movies, and tissue boxes. “We brought everything,” Nancy said and your heart clenched at the thought of your friends caring so much about you. “I heard what happened, I’m so sorry (y/n),” Nancy said and stepped forward to hug you as best as she could while holding the bags. You hugged her back and sighed at the comforting feeling. “Come in you guys it’s cold,” you said and stepped aside so they could walk in. “You really didn’t have to do this,” you said as they set the stuff on the counter. “But we wanted to. Steve said sorry he couldn’t be here, he had to work late,” Robin said and you shook your head in dismissal. “It’s ok, I didn’t expect you all anyway. I didn’t expect anyone,” you said. “We didn’t want you to be alone,” Robin said and hugged you.

“Do you guys just want to go upstairs?” you asked and they both nodded. “Yeah sure,” Nancy picked up the bags again and they followed you up the stairs.

You reached your room and opened the door. They both noticed the box by the door but said nothing. “How have you been?” Nancy asked as you all sat on your bed. “Well, it’s honestly been really hard,” you said and looked down trying not to get emotional once again. “I know it must be hard, I’m so sorry. He was an asshole to do that to you,” Nancy said and rested a hand on your shoulder. “I could barely sleep. He wasn’t there, I mean he hasn’t been here in a while but It just hit me that he’d never be here again. I’d never wake up to that sleepy smile and mess of frizzy curls. I’d never get another I love you before falling asleep. He’s gone, and he has been for a long time,” you finally let out. Their expressions were sympathetic. “I know it only happened yesterday but, things will get better. You’ll find someone new, I promise,” Nancy said and you scoffed trying to hold back tears. “That’s the problem, I never wanted anyone else,” your voice cracked. “You know, I look at you and I see the sweetest and most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I see you, and I see someone who could be just as strong by herself as she felt with a guy. I see someone unstoppable who just hit a bump in the road and believe me when I say this. You’ll be ok,” Robin rambled on a bit and a sad smile came to your face. Tears had fallen down your cheeks, and you leaned against your friend just letting yourself cry. “I really love you guys,” you choked out and Nancy leaned over to join in on the hug. “We love you too, now how about we try and get your mind off of this for a while huh?” Nancy asked and you nodded.

The rest of the night went well, and after they left you got a call from Steve.

“Hey, (y/n/n). I’m sorry I couldn’t be there tonight,” he said and you sniffled, still getting over the tears you cried while Nance and Robin were over. “It’s ok Steve,” you said and he frowned at the sound of your hoarse voice. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked and before you could say no, the box of Eddie’s things caught your eye. “Is there any chance that you could come by tomorrow?” you asked nervously. He perked up a bit and nodded his head despite you not being able to see it. “Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll be there,” he said and you felt a gratefulness bloom in your chest. Thankful for the people you had in your life. “You can just come by in the morning,” you said, “Do you need me to bring anything?” he asked. “No, just you,” you sighed. “Well then, I’ll see you in the morning,” he told you and you smiled a bit. “Goodnight Steve,” you said and he bid you goodnight before you hung up.

Once again the night was hard, tossing and turning. Watching the sunrise again you sighed and turned away from the window. It was about 8 when you decided to get up, so you’d be ready when Steve came over. You wanted to look decent enough to take the box of Eddie’s things back to him.

You put on your coziest burgundy sweater and a pair of dark jeans with your converse. A knock sounded on the door and you went to open it. Steve stood there with a bouquet of flowers for you. Your heart warmed at the sight and you smiled softly. “I didn’t know which ones to get so, I chose the prettiest ones. Well, I thought they were the prettiest, I don’t know if you would, but I did. So, yeah, these are for you,” he said and handed the bunch of flowers to you. Your smile widened. “They’re beautiful Steve, thank you,” you said and let him in. You walked into the kitchen, grabbed a vase, and filled it with water before placing the flowers in.

“I was wondering, um, I have some things to give back to Eddie. I’m scared to go by myself and I was wondering if you’d go with me?” you asked shyly and looked away from him. He walked over to you and placed a hand on your face, gently turning so you'd look at him. “I’ll go with you, you don’t have to be scared ok, I’ll be there,” he said “What if she’s there?” you asked and he looked down at you with firm reassurance in his eyes. “Even if she is, I won’t let anything happen. I’ll go in for you if you want me to, you don’t even have to see him,” he said. You bit your lip and felt a flood of comfort wash over you at the look in his eyes. “I can do it, just please be with me,” you said and reached out to grab his hand. “I’m there the whole way,” he said and kissed your head.

Steve grabbed the box from your floor and put it in the trunk of his car. He got into the driver’s seat and looked over at you. “You ok?” he asked and you slowly nodded. “I’m ok, let’s go,” you said and he grabbed your hand. You were trying to muster up the courage as you held his hand tighter in yours. The ride was mostly silent, and it wasn’t uncomfortable it was soothing.

You pulled up to the trailer and sighed heavily. His van was there so there was really no avoiding him at this point. Steve put the car in park and took a glance over at you, “Are you ready?” he asked and you shook your head. “That’s ok, we can wait for a bit,” he said and squeezed your hand. You shut your eyes and took a deep breath, doing your best not to remember all the times he carried you up those stairs. How he chased you around the yard with the water hose in the summer.

You knew you had to get it over with and so you decided it was time. “Ok, I’m ready,” you said and nodded at him. “Alright, I’ll get the box,” he said and got out to open the trunk. You hesitantly stepped out of the car and wrung your hands as you stared at the door. Steve stood next to you, “Ok, let’s go,” you breathed out and made your way up the steps. You knocked on the door with shaking hands. Steve placed a hand on your back comfortingly easily holding the box with one arm. You heard shuffling and the door opened.

There he stood with his messy hair and those big brown eyes you loved so much. He looked like he had just gotten up.

His eyes widened at the sight of you, “(y/n), what are you doing here?” he asked and looked past you at Steve. He furrowed his brows.

“I came to give you your stuff back,” you said and took the box from Steve. You could see the guilt in his eyes as he looked at you. “Eds?” you heard a soft voice call from behind him. Your breath hitched in your throat and you almost dropped the box. “Shit, sorry hold on,” he said and held up a finger before disappearing from sight. You glanced over at Steve and he could see that you were struggling to keep it together. “Who is it?” you heard her voice ask. “It’s no one, just go back to bed Chris,” His words broke your heart even more. “It’s no one? You’re no one now?” you asked yourself in your head. Your grip on the box tightened as you felt a lump form in your throat. “Just give me a minute, I’ll be right back babe,” you heard him say. You took a deep shaky breath before just setting the box down. “Can we leave now?” you asked Steve. “Of course, we can let’s go, sweetheart,” he said and just as you began to walk away Eddie came back to the door. He saw you walking away and quickly walked down the steps. “Wait, (y/n), just wait,” he said. Steve slightly pushed you behind him as you stopped walking.

“What do you want Munson?” Steve asked, you could hear the anger in his voice. You looked at Eddie and he could see the tears in your eyes. “Just let me talk to her, I’m not trying to fight with you Harrington,” Eddie said in frustration.

“You don’t get to talk to her, not after what you did. Haven’t you done enough, you broke her heart isn’t that enough for you? What more could you want?” Steve spat at him. He looked at Steve with his jaw clenched tightly. He knew what he did, and he felt horrible. He wanted to try and salvage anything he could. “Eddie, you should just go back to Chrissy she’s waiting for you. Don’t try and make things right because it won’t ever be right again. You lost me for good, so just don’t try ok? Just don’t,” you said with as much strength as you could muster. “I’m sorry,” he said with pleading eyes daring to take a step forward. Steve pushed him back, “Don’t.” he growled. But he was persistent, “Just one minute,” he pleaded again. You took a small step out from behind Steve, and you could a spark of hope in his eyes. “I gave you 2 whole months to explain yourself Edward. 2 months, I’m done waiting for an explanation. I heard all I needed to. I’m no one now huh?” you asked as your voice broke. His face fell, “No, just please. You’re not no one, I just didn’t want her out here. Not right now, just told her to go back to bed,” he said and Steve looked over at you. That used to be your bed, not hers. “Well she’s waiting for you in there so why don’t you just go back to bed with your new girlfriend and leave me alone,” you tried to be harsh but your voice fell at the end. Looking at what he had done made him break knowing he’d lost any semblance of anything with you.

“You come near her again Munson, and I swear I’ll kick your ass,” Steve threatened. You could hear the rage he had and saw it on his face when you looked at him. You knew it was time to leave.

You grabbed Steve’s wrist and gently tugged him toward the car. He looked over at you and began to walk away wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulder as he guided you to the car.

Eddie could see the slight shake of your shoulders as you walked away, he knew you were crying and his heart broke. He wanted you in his life, but he knew that you were right. He lost you for good. That’s the last time you spoke to him.

---

You stopped going to Hellfire and stopped sitting with the boys every day. You sat with Nance and Robin. Chrissy had taken your place at the Hellfire table and all of the boys grew slightly uncomfortable by her presence. They missed you at their meetings, and they missed the random stories and jokes you made. You smiled and waved when you passed their table, stopping by for a visit when Eddie wasn’t there. You always made sure they were ok whenever you could.

“Hey boys, you said as you walked over to them seeing a clear opportunity to speak with them. “Hey, (y/n)!” Jeff said excitedly and you chuckled. “How are you guys?” you asked. “We’re ok, it’s just not the same without you. We miss you,” Dustin said and you wore a sad smile. “I miss you guys too, I’m sorry about everything,” you said feeling guilty about not spending as much time with them. “Don’t be sorry, we understand. It’s not your fault, we just can’t stand Chrissy for much longer,” Gareth said and you laughed. “That bad?” you asked with a bit of a grimace. They all nodded. “She knows nothing about D&D, all she wants to talk about is cheerleading and the sports games. She’s not very funny either,” Mike complained and you chuckled. “Oh really?” you asked with a raised brow. “Definitely,” Lucas said. You smiled, “Well you guys are always welcome to sit with me whenever you want to ok?” you said and squeezed Jeff’s shoulder. “Really?” they asked. “Of course, anytime,” you said. Before anyone could say anything else Eddie and Chrissy walked over and sat down. You could feel him look at you, and you tried not to curl in on yourself. It felt gross that you felt like you had to cower away from him when you used to tuck yourself into his side and kiss his cheek.

“I’ll talk to you guys later,” you gave a soft smile at the boys. Walking away you sighed but tried to keep your head up, not wanting him to see that you were still hurt. It had been about 3 weeks since everything happened and you didn’t have to go through it alone. Nancy, Robin, and Steve were there for you the whole time. You had been growing closer and closer to Steve.

There was something about him that you just felt that you needed. He was warm and bright he made you feel safe and like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

He took you to school every morning, and always picked you up first, and you were glad because it meant that you got more time with him. You found comfort in his bad jokes, sweet smile, and weird facts he heard from Dustin. You didn’t know but he had asked Dustin about D&D so he could try and talk with you about it. Dustin ended up telling you that he asked and you thought it was the sweetest thing ever.

Months had passed by and things had gotten better, your heart had had time to mend. With the help of your friends, you were able to realize that you deserved better than that. Lately, you had been looking at Steve differently, you began to see something you didn’t before. He was always there for you, almost every time he would come by he would bring flowers for you. You spent more and more time just you two on your own and you had begun to feel a crush grow, that feeling settled about a month in.

You didn’t expect to find someone again especially not so quickly and have it be one of the people you were closest to.

It was a Friday morning when Steve came to pick you up for school. Unbeknownst to you, Steve had finally mustered up the courage to ask you out. He just had to keep himself together until you got to school.

You had found yourself putting in the slightest bit more effort in the mornings. You heard Steve honk and walked out to see him leaning against the side of the car, you smiled and walked over to him. He opened his arms and you wrapped yours around him. “Morning, (y/n)” he said. “Morning Stevie,” you said as he opened the door for you. His heart raced when he felt your arms tightly wrapped around him.

About 2 weeks after the incident Steve had gotten Hotel California on cassette so you could listen to it in the car whenever you wanted to. It was already playing when you got in and you smiled brightly, Steve looked over at you and felt his heart melt at the sight of you so happy.

“Ready?” he asked as he put the car into gear. “Yup, ready for the week to be over,” you said and chuckled. “I’m sure Robin is too,” he said and you nodded. You hummed along to the music, ending up singing when your favorite song came on, Steve sang with you seeing as he knew the words after hearing it so much. He pulled up to Robin’s and honked the horn, he rested his arm on the console as he waited for her to come out. You quietly reached over and tangled your fingers with his. He looked down and over at you. You had a blush and a soft smile as you glanced at him. He squeezed your hand and feeling emboldened by your actions picked up your hand and pressed a kiss to it sweetly. Your smile brightened and so did his. You heard the door open and a loud sigh as Robin got in the car. Your hand never left his, “Good morning Robin, you ready to get this over with?” you asked and she sighed once again. “Yes, shit, I’m so ready for this to be over,” she whined and you chuckled. “Me too,” you said and gave her a smile.

“What’s got you so huffy?” Steve asked, “I have a test I absolutely need to pass and I’m not ready for it,” she said and you rolled your eyes. “You are so ready for it Robs, I helped you study almost all week, you’ve got this,” you said. “I don’t know,” she spoke, “Well, I do. I know you will pass and you’ll be so relieved,” you encouraged her. “Yeah?” she asked. “Definitely,” you said.

Steve smiled over at you as you encouraged your friend. You were a good friend and that was something he loved about you. He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles and you pulled his hand into your lap placing your other hand over it tracing patterns on the back of his hand. You got to school and he parked. You were about to get out when he asked you to stay for a minute.

“(y/n/n), can you stay for just a second?” he asked and you nodded. “Yeah, of course, are you ok?” you asked. “I’m ok, I just-” he paused

“I was wondering if you’d uh if you’d maybe like to go out with me?” he asked nervously. You blushed and bit your lip to hold back the excited smile. “I’d love to go out with you, Steve,” you said. He let out a breath and smiled, “Ok, that’s-that’s great. I’m off early today, so maybe we could go to the drive-in. I’ll pick you up at 7?” he asked. You let your smile show, and your cheeks were flushed. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll see you at 7 Steve,” you said and leaned over to kiss his cheek. He watched you as you walked away and over to where Robin was waiting for you. He could see you excitedly talking to her, taking a glance back at him you waved. He waved back before you turned to walk into the school.

That was just the beginning for you and Steve.

Little did you know that things with Eddie and Chrissy were just starting to go downhill. He watched from just outside his van a cigarette between his lips as you kissed Steve’s cheek. He noticed the blush on your cheeks and heard your excited rambling to Robin about Steve asking you out. He saw your bright-eyed glance and shy wave. He couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten at the sight of you giving that look to someone else. That was the look you gave him, and it made his heart ache. He could tell that something bigger than a date was going to happen between you and he couldn’t help but feel jealous. He stomped the cigarette out and made his way into the school. He walked past you and Robin at your locker. He saw all the pictures had been replaced. It wasn’t you and him anymore, it was the kids, it was you, Robin, and Nancy. It was you and Steve. He quickly found Chrissy and leaned down to press a kiss on her lips but she turned her head so it landed on her cheek instead. He looked at her with slight hurt, he knew something was up with her, it had been for about a week now.

She was looking at him differently and sometimes just not bothering to look at all.

You walked into the cafeteria and found the girls, as you went to go sit with them three people came to block your path. Dustin, Lucas, and Mike stood in front of you with large smiles. More like shit-eating grins. You looked at them with raised brows. “What are you doing?” you asked. “We heard about what happened this morning. Is it true?” Dustin asked. You shot a glare over at Robin and she shrugged guiltily. You sighed. “Did Steve ask you out?” Mike pushed. “That’s for me to know ok, not you,” you said and gently pushed past them. “C’mon, Robin already told us, just admit it,” Lucas said and you shook your head. You stayed silent and you heard them groan about it before walking away. You sat down by Nancy and she smiled knowingly at you gently nudging you. “So it’s true?” she asked and you smiled shyly. “Yeah, it is ok. He asked me out this morning, we’re going to the drive-in later,” you explained to her as you did to Robin earlier.

“I’m so happy for you,” she said and you blushed. “Thanks, Nance,” you said. “Would you mind coming over after school to help me get ready?” you asked them. “Yeah, of course,” She said. They could both tell how excited you were, and they knew Steve was too seeing as he had obviously been in love with you for years.

The school day ended, and you exited the school with a skip in your step. Nancy and Robin chuckled at how happy you were. You didn’t even notice those big brown eyes watching you as you walked away.

You got home and they helped you get ready, you decided to wear a baby blue striped shirt tucked into your favorite pair of jeans. Your white converse and light makeup. Nothing over the top but just enough.

The girls had left and so it was just you, it was almost 7 and your nerves had set in. You were never nervous around Steve but this was a little different, this was a date.

You heard a knock at the door and quickly ran down the stairs, you slowed to a casual walk as you opened the door. Steve stood there with flowers in his hand and a nervous smile. “Hi,” you breathed out with a smile. “Hey, I uh, I got you these, I remember you saying you liked daisies and so I thought you’d like these,” he said and you took them gratefully. “I love them, Steve, thank you. Come in,” you said and stepped aside to let him in. “I just have to put these in some water and we can go,” you said and quickly finished your task.

“You look beautiful,” he said as you walked to his car. You blushed and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Thank you, you look handsome as always,” you said and smiled when he blushed. “Thank you,” he said quickly, you could tell he was flustered. He opened the door for you. Before you got into the car you stood on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. He smiled down at you as you turned to get into the car.

The drive to the movie was filled with comfortable conversation and casual flirting. Him doing his best to keep the blush on your cheeks. You got to the movie and chuckled when you saw it was Stand By Me, “You remembered?” you asked giddily. “Yeah, I did. I thought you’d like it,” he said and his heart warmed at the sheer happiness he saw light up your features. “This is perfect,” you said and turned to him with a big smile.

You had mentioned wanting to see the movie a while ago, and he thought it was the perfect time to take you.

He watched you more than the movie, just seeing your reactions to everything was adorable to him. At one point you had mindlessly reached over to intertwine your fingers, holding his hand with both of yours close to your heart when something big happened. The end had made you cry but you loved it more than anything. You laughed at Steve’s comments made throughout the movie, taking time to observe the way the light from the screen lit up his features. He really was beautiful, and he thought the same thing about you.

The drive home was far too short for your liking as you had just turned down your street.

“You know, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time,” you admitted and he smiled over at you. “I can tell, you have a glow,” he said and looked down shyly. “You do, it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful,” he said and came to a stop outside of your house. “You’re too sweet to me, did you know that?” you asked softly. He reached over and placed a hand on your cheek to make you look at him. “No one could ever be sweet enough for you sweetheart,” he said and you smiled softly. He leaned his forehead against yours for a few seconds, you reached up and placed a hand over the one that was on your cheek.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” he said softly before letting you go and coming around to open the door for you. He held out his hand and helped you out of the car. You linked your arm with his and held his hand as he walked you to the door.

You stepped into the porch light and turned to look at him. He was smiling down at you, “Tonight was really great, Steve, thank you,” you said bashfully. “I’m glad you had a good time, so did I,” he said and took a tentative step closer to you. He had wanted to kiss you for the longest time. He wanted to know if your lips were as soft as they looked if they were as sweet as you were. He placed a hand on your waist and gave you a chance to back away from him but when you didn't he brought you closer to him. You looked up at him through your lashes and he swore his heart stopped when you ran your hands up his chest and over his shoulders. He let his other hand rest on the back of your neck. Leaning down he watched your eyes flutter shut and felt butterflies in his stomach as his lips grazed yours. He felt you push up slightly on your toes to press a plush kiss against his lips. He sighed at the feeling of you so close to him, your kiss was soft and just as sweet as he imagined. He pulled you flush against his chest and felt you card your fingers through his hair trying to be as close as possible. You lightly tilted your head to the right letting your nose brush his as you moved. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss and you let out a soft hum against his mouth. He slowly pulled away and a grin formed on his face at the sight of you. Your lipgloss was slightly smudged and your lips kiss swollen. You giggled a bit as you looked up at him. “What are you laughing at?” he asked and ran his thumb along your jawline. You moved your hand to tenderly wipe away the lipgloss that had transferred onto his lips from yours. “You had lipgloss on you,” you said and smiled up at him.

“Can I have some more?” he flirted. You laughed softly before holding his shoulders and pressing one swift kiss on his lips. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he said and you let your hands drop as he let you go. Your cheeks were rosy as you looked at him and he smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow ok?” you asked and he nodded his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, (y/n),” he said as you opened the door and stepped into the house. He walked to his car with a huge grin on his face, he knew that would be the first of many dates to come and he swore it was the best kiss he’d ever had.

A few dates later and he asked you to be his girlfriend. You of course accepted the offer, and now a month later, you were on the last day before the summer break. You had worn your new yellow sundress and a wide smile spread across your lips.

You didn’t notice the pair of eyes on you as you talked with your friend. Eddie didn’t know what it felt like when he did what he did to you. He didn’t understand until he watched Chrissy slip away just like you’d watch him do to you. He was heartbroken when she broke up with him and went back to Jason. She told him that she just didn’t want him anymore, and he can’t imagine how bad it must have hurt you as you sat next to him, and lay in his bed when you had the feeling that someone else lied there when you were gone.

You walked with Robin to the school entrance, finally ready to spend as much time with your boyfriend and friends as possible. “You know Robs, I swear if I work at Family Video Keith is gonna be a lot more weird than usual,” you told her. “C’mon, Steve and I will keep him at bay. All you’d have to do is smile and he would give you the job,” she said and you chuckled. “I probably could get him to let us go early now and again,” you said, contemplating her offer. “Exactly, you’d get more time with Steve too, and me of course, your favorite,” she said and you laughed and rested your head on her shoulder for a second. “Alright, alright, I’ll apply,” you said.

“Yes! Now I don’t have to be stuck alone with a mopey Steve Harrington,” she said and you furrowed your brows. “Mopey?” you asked. “He gets mopey when you’re gone,” she said and you chuckled. As you walked you didn’t notice someone walking right in front of you until you bumped into them. “Oh, crap,” you yelped as you almost fell over. Luckily the person caught you before you fell. You chuckled at the ordeal and looked up. There stood the boy who broke your heart months before. “Sorry, I almost knocked you over. Are you alright?” he asked and awkwardly drew his hands away from your arms. You felt a pang in your chest as you looked at him, he had been your best friend since you were 7 and this is the first time you’d spoken in months. “I’m, uh, yeah. I’m ok thanks. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you said. “Don’t worry about it,” he breathed out. You shook your head and sighed before putting on your best smile. “Well, I’ve got to go. Have a nice summer,” you said before linking arms with Robin and walking away. She gave you a look silently asking if you were ok. You just smiled, “I’m fine, I’m just happy to be done with this fucking place. It’s over,” you nudged her.

You were in that pretty yellow sundress, and your hair framed your face. A soft peach dusted your cheeks and a baby pink lingered on your lips. He couldn’t help but stare as you walked away from him, hearing your voice speaking directly to him for the first time in so long made his stomach turn. He missed you now that everything was over, and his jealousy was ever-present when he saw you with Steve. He had heard from the boys that he asked you to be his girlfriend, and it made him sick.

Walking out the doors and into the parking lot, you were going to head toward Nancy’s car when you saw your boyfriend parked right in front. Robin smiled at the way your face lit up, she had known Steve was getting off early so he could spend the rest of the day with you. You let out an excited laugh, and your smile widened as you looked at Steve leaning against his car. “Steve!” you shouted in excitement. “Baby!” he yelled and opened his arms ready to meet you halfway. You took off across the lot and jumped into his waiting arms. He let out a huff at the impact and laughed at the way you held onto him.

“You’re here,” you breathed out happily and pulled back to look at him. He smiled down at you, “I wanted to surprise you, I got the rest of the day off so we could spend it together,” he said and placed his hands on your cheeks. “Really?” you asked with a wide-eyed gaze. “Really,” he said and you pushed up on your toes to press your lips to his. Your arms went around his neck and he moved his to your waist.

Robin looked behind her to see if Nancy was there yet but all she saw was Eddie staring at you and Steve. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. She could tell he was jealous, and she knew he didn’t really have a right to be.

All of a sudden you were off of the ground and being spun around. Your eyes opened as you let out a yelp and you heard Steve chuckle at the surprise on your face. You laughed before Steve set you down on your feet. You held onto his arms to regain your balance, “I missed you, Steve,” you said as you felt your cheeks ache from smiling so much. “I missed you too Sweetheart,” he said and leaned down to press another kiss on your lips. “You look beautiful today,” he said and you blushed. “Really, I think yellow is your color,” he said and you chuckled.

“You think so?” you teased. “Oh, yeah, definitely,” he responded and took your hand. He twirled you and your dress flared out slightly.

You looked radiant as you twirled around. Your smile was the brightest thing he had seen in months, and the look in your eyes was the way you used to look at him. He was beginning to realize just how much he had lost. He didn’t just lose your love, but he lost your friendship. He remembered what you said to him, he lost the one person who was ready to love him for the rest of her life. She found someone else to love, and who loved her just as much. The sight of you kissing him made him shut his eyes tightly and fight off tears he didn’t have the right to cry. He did this to himself. He made his bed and now he has to lay in it. He has to watch you love someone else with everything you had in you. Eddie could tell that there was a future there for you both, and he just had to accept that he wouldn’t be a part of yours anymore.

The thought of having slept with Chrissy in his bed made him sick. It made him think of how you must have felt, knowing that your sacred little space with him. Just for you and him and those intimate moments had been defiled by something that was never real. He had brought Chrissy into his bed where you had had countless amounts of the best moments of your years together and ruined it. He brought rot into the beautiful garden that you had grown with him, where your relationship had bloomed in more ways than one. He ripped up the flowers where your body used to lay and replaced them with gravel and barren ground.

Knowing that you slept beside someone else and found comfort in the arms of another was hard.

He heard loud laughter and saw that Steve had picked you up bridal style and carried you to his car. He set you down and you leaned against the passenger door while he stood in front of you. He could see your hands locked around his waist and heard Steve laughing. Knowing damn well that you were making some dumb joke that you made up. Eddie turned to walk away when he saw him lean down and press kisses on your face as you laughed.

He didn’t want to see it anymore.

Steve opened the door for you and you got in. He walked to the other side and slid into the car. “Isn’t Robin coming?” you asked seeing as he would usually take her home too when he came to get you.

“Nancy’s taking her. I told you I wanted to spend time with you,” he said and you leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“I got something for you,” he said with a big smile. “What? You didn’t have to get me anything,” you said. “I wanted to. Now we have another album to listen to,” Steve spoke and handed you the cassette. It was Rumors by Fleetwood Mac. “I love this album,” you said softly and looked over at him with bright eyes. “Now, I know this one pretty well ok. I can get down to Dreams,” he said and you laughed out loud. “You can get down to Dreams?” you teased his wording. “Yeah, actually I can. I’ll just have to show you,” he stated and you laughed again. “Well, I guess I could get down to Dreams too,” you said and smiled. “That’s my girl,” he kissed your hand.

The drive to his house was mostly singing and occasional kissing at stoplights. Things had progressed well and your heart was fuller than ever.

You got to his house and immediately he whisked you away into his bedroom. You took off your shoes and set them by the door, placing your bag by his desk. He smiled as he watched you make yourself comfortable in his room like it was your own. He had always wanted this, he knew it was selfish but he always wanted it to be him you went home with, and him you kissed goodnight. He wanted to hold you while you slept and see you in his clothes. He never thought it would happen but here you are. He barely noticed that you had grabbed a pen and a sticky note.

The thought just popped into your head when you saw the pen and small piece of paper. You scribbled a small note for him.

“Dearest Steve,

I just wanted to remind you that I love you. My heart is yours love.

All my love, always, (y/n)”

You placed a small heart alongside the message and smiled before setting it in an obvious spot so he’d see it. You turned around and noticed him looking at you, “Steve, you ok?” you asked and walked over to him. A smile formed on his face, and he reached out to you grabbing your waist to pull you close. “I’m perfect,” he said and you smiled before reaching up to move a strand of hair from his face. “Yeah, you are aren’t you?” you said genuinely and just took your time to admire him. “Nowhere near as perfect as you,” he said and leaned down to rest his forehead against yours. “We’re not starting this Harrington,” you laughed softly and you could practically feel his smile against your lips. “Alright, alright,” he said and pressed a firm kiss against your lips before pulling away. He looked down at you to see your eyes closed and a small smile placed on your lips. You looked contented and it warmed his heart that he could make you feel that way.

Your eyes opened and he swore he saw them sparkle, “You know, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that,” you said with a big grin. “Oh really?” he asked and you nodded your head. “Ever?” he asked. “Ever,” you confirmed and he chuckled. “I know, I’ll never get tired of that,” he said and leaned into your touch as you placed your hands on his cheeks. You gently tugged him down and let your lips graze his pressing a feather-light kiss to his bottom lip. He squeezed your waist and pressed his lips fully against yours, parting your lips to let his tongue glide with yours. Your hands ran up and tangled in his hair.

You could barely describe the feeling of him this close to you. He was all-encompassing, a surrounding warmth after the very first snowfall of winter. You had never experienced a kiss like his. It was the sun that a flower needed to bloom, and you felt a field of wildflowers bloom in your chest at the touch of his lips to yours.

He felt your chest flush against him and swore he felt your heartbeat against his. Kissing you was everything he imagined and more, the taste of that lemon lip balm you loved to use, and the smell of roses overwhelmed his senses in the best way. He never felt that way when he kissed Nancy, it was never that sweet. Every kiss felt brand new, every move your body made to get closer to him was intoxicating. You felt like satin when he touched you, you fit against him like a missing puzzle piece. It seemed that you were made for each other.

You pulled away, and both of you breathed heavily. You let out a soft breathless laugh at the smile on his face.

“I love you, Steve,” you said and his eyes lit up. “You love me?” he asked softly. “Yeah, I do. I love you,” you said and reached to grab his hands from where they sat on your waist. You tangled your fingers with his and held them tightly. “I love you too. I love you so much,” he said and kissed both of your hands.

In a flurry, you were tossed off the ground onto his bed. You bounced up with a laugh and watched as he kicked off his shoes and climbed on next to you. He looked over at you before bringing you to his side, carefully tucking you close to him. You wrapped your arm around his waist and let your leg rest over his hip. “You know, I didn’t realize that I could love someone as much as I love you,” he said and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. You looked up at him. “What about Nancy?” you asked with slightly furrowed brows. He reached up and smoothed the crease between them, “I did love her, she was my first love. But I want you to be my last,” he said and your eyes teared up. He frowned at the tears in your eyes. “What’s wrong? What did I say?” he asked nervously. “Nothing, it’s nothing. I just… this-this feels so real.” your voice broke a bit. “Is that a good thing?” he asked. With worry still present in his voice and eyes. “It’s a great thing, Steve, it’s a great thing,” you said and reached up to stroke his cheek. He smiled down at you, “It will always be real,” he said and kissed your forehead.

“I’ll always make it feel real,” he said and let his hand on your thigh move upward tentatively. Your dress rode up at his movements and your breath hitched when he ran his fingers over the lacey edge of your panties. “Show me how real it is,” you breathed out softly.

---

When you woke a few hours later, it was because the phone was ringing. You took in a sharp breath as your eyes fluttered open. “Just let it ring babe,” you heard Steve’s sleepy voice in the almost dark room. The sun was almost set when your bleary eyes looked out the window.

You listened to Steve and once again buried your face in his neck and his large hand splayed across your back to keep you close.

You hummed against his skin when he placed a lazy kiss on your hairline. Just as you were about to fall asleep the phone rang again. “I’ll get it,” you sighed. “No, c’mon babe,” Steve tried to stop you. “What if it’s the kids?” you asked. “Ugh fine,” he said and dropped his head back to the pillow. You grabbed the phone. “Hello?” you answered. “Hey, (y/n), why didn’t you pick up the first time?” Dustin's voice came ringing through. You sighed once again, “We were sleeping Dustin, what do you need?” you asked. “I need you guys to pick me up from Hellfire,” he said deciding not to acknowledge your excuse and the line went silent for a few seconds. You contemplated it, “Why? Can’t Eddie take you home?” you asked. “No, he has some business to take care of on the other side of town,” Dustin said as if it was a big secret. You groaned. “Alright Dustin, when?” you asked. “Like now,” he said and your eyes widened. “Fucks sake, ok, ok we’ll be right there,” you said and sat up holding the covers to your chest. Steve looked at you in confusion. You hung up the phone and looked over at your boyfriend. “Dustin needs us to pick him up from Hellfire,” you told him while reaching up to run your hand through his tousled hair. He groaned in annoyance. “Are you kidding me?” he asked and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Nope, c’mon. We gotta go,” you said and tried to move from the bed. “He can wait for a few minutes longer,” Steve said and tried to pull you back to him. “We can’t just leave him waiting Steve,” you said and leaned over to kiss his head. He cracked one eye open. “You sure?” he asked. “I’m sure babe, c’mon,” you said and slowly moved to get out of bed. Your legs were still a bit wobbly as you stood. Steve smiled at you softly, “You alright there?” he asked, and you could hear the smile in his voice. You glared at him, “I’m just fine,” you said and stumbled a bit. He quickly sat up and reached to steady you. “Alright sweetheart, let’s sit you down for now,” he said and sat you down on the bed again. You huffed and he chuckled. “Your fault Harrington,” you pointed at him and he smiled at you over his shoulder as he rifled through his closet. Finally finding what he wanted he walked back over to you. He held your favorite yellow sweater of his and you smiled. “Arms up,” he said and you looked at him with a raised brow. “I can do it myself,” you said. “But I want to,” he said and you giggled softly. “Alright,” you said and raised your arms. He slid the sweater over your frame and smoothed down your ruffled hair when it was on.

He found a pair of pajama shorts you left last time and slipped them up your legs and over your hips. He placed a kiss on the band and smiled up at you. You smiled right back, “Thanks Stevie,” you said. “Anything for my baby,” he said as he got himself together before grabbing his keys. You slipped on your shoes and he escorted you out of the door. You got into the car and the music was on low as you drove the dark streets. Your legs were crisscrossed and Steve’s hand rested on your thigh with your hand over his. The car ride was quiet besides calm conversation and soft new I love you’s every now and again.

You got to the school and when you didn’t see Dustin you knew he was probably helping Eddie clean up. You sighed, “He’s probably helping Eddie clean up. We better go get him,” you said. “You can stay here if you want to,” he said and looked over at you. He could see that you were still a bit sleepy. “No, I’ll go with you,” you said and you both got out of the car.

He intertwined your fingers as you held his arm with your other hand as well. Resting your head on his shoulder as you walked. “I swear this kid is gonna be the death of me,” Steve said and you chuckled softly. “You love him though,” you said and smiled up at him. “Don’t let him know that,” he said and you let out a louder laugh. “Ok, I won’t. I promise,” you said and kissed his shoulder.

Dustin was with Eddie just as they finished cleaning they hear a loud laugh from outside. Eddie knew immediately who it belonged to. It was you, beautiful, beautiful you. He felt his breathing stop for a second as a knock sounded on the door. Dustin opened the door, and there you were. Sleepy-eyed and clad in Steve’s sweater. He looked at how you held him, “You ready kid?” Steve spoke up. “Yeah just let me grab my stuff,” he said. You slowly tugged Steve into the room and looked around. You missed this room so much, and it made you sad. Your eyes landed on Eddie and he could see a sad glimmer in your (e/c) irises. He knew you missed the game, and he missed you playing. He missed you kissing him when you and the boys won, he missed you sitting on his lap before the party would get there.

“Hey, Eddie. Good campaign?” you asked politely not wanting there to be an awkward silence. “Um, yeah, a good one definitely,” he responded with a curt nod. “That’s good,” you smiled softly. You didn’t want there to be any bad residual energy between the two of you for the boys' sake. Steve carefully watched the interaction, making sure you were ok. “How have you been?” he asked. Steve squeezed your hand and you squeezed his back reassuringly. “I’ve been really good actually,” you said and smiled up at Steve who smiled right back. “How about you?” you asked and looked back at Eddie. You could see what looked like pain and guilt swimming in his eyes. “I’ve been fine. Finally graduated you know,” he told you. “That’s great Eddie. I knew you could do it,” you said. It was true that you had a sense of pride for the boy after so many years of trying he finally did it. Steve leaned down and pressed a kiss on your head. You leaned your head against his shoulder. Eddie’s heart just kept breaking over again. That should be him, he should be where Steve is. He should be getting a congratulatory kiss from you and maybe even more than that. But that’s not how it is anymore. He’s not yours, and you’re sure as hell, not his.

He wanted you all to himself but he lost that the moment he thought he fell in love with Chrissy. He came to realize it was more so infatuation than it ever was love. And he lost you for good because of it.

He hated himself for it. He hated that he lost 11 years of everything you built because of a mistake he made. He wanted to scream that he still loved you, that he wanted you to be with him, not Steve. But he knew that he couldn’t mess up again, not when you were as happy as you were. You had a glow about you at that moment, and he knew exactly why.

He could still hear your soft sounds and the way his name fell from your lips. He could feel the drag of your fingernails across his back, and your legs locked around him. Eddie remembered so clearly what it was like to love and be loved by you. He knew that lightly mussed hair and lazy saccharine smile. Oh and the glimmer in your eyes, that golden hazy glow that flushed your figure. That was the look you had after you’d just made love. Eddie noticed the barely there wobble in your legs he used to tease you about. And that effervescent timeless beauty you held long after the afterglow.

He had never felt the way he felt with you, then he dropped your delicate heart on the floor. It just so happened that someone else put it back together and got to hold it. It was Steve who helped fix you. It was Steve that held your heart. It was Steve who made you glow like the sun. It wasn’t him anymore. If you were to ask now who he loved he would say it was you. But it’s far too late for that now.

“I’m ready guys, bye Eddie,” Dustin said as he headed for the door. You turned to follow him but not before turning your head to send him a small smile and wave. “Bye Eddie,” you said. He waved but before he could say goodbye you were out the door.

“I love you (y/n),” Steve said and kissed your temple. “I love you too, Steve,” you responded.

Eddie swore his heart stopped when he heard you exchange those words with someone else. It wasn’t his name you said after the I love you. You loved someone else now and he’d just have to find a way to live with that.

Now when you went home, your bed was warm when you got into it. Your vanity was decorated with new pictures and small notes for you left by Steve. You got to wake up to Steve’s messy hair and love-filled gaze. You got to fall asleep to a new I love you, one that was maybe warmer than when Eddie said it. You got to feel his lips leave sleepy lackadaisical kisses down your neck and shoulders when you wake up.

He would look at you and it would make you feel like you were the stars in his eyes. He made you feel special, you didn’t feel like you had to worry about him slipping through your fingers. He trusted you to hold his heart and you trusted him to hold yours.

You got to look at him as he laughed at your jokes, and as he smiled fondly at the kids he adored so much. You looked at him like he was your entire sky. You swore his touch made the snow melt and the flowers bloom in your soul that you never thought you’d feel again. Wrapping your arms around him and knowing he felt safe was one of your favorite things. He was open with you, vulnerable. And you would do anything to make him feel secure and like he can lean on you for support. You let him know that if he needed to fall apart and let everything go you would be there to help put him together again.

The love you had was pure, and it was something your friends had never seen. Was it sappy and cringy? Yes, but they loved how happy you were.

Everything finally felt right, you were happy again. It was a kind of unconditional happiness. The rare kind of happiness you only get once in a lifetime and you found that with Steve. Your soul only ached when you missed him for too long, you only cried when he made you laugh, and your heart only broke when his did too. You knew you would love him for the rest of your life and you truly felt he’d love you too.

---

Taglist:

@sebastiansstanswhore

@zvcdvm

@stqryhugswriteshugswrites

@lovurryy

@charleetheefictionalfucker

@thatfictionalwh0re

@angelamariaxo

@honneypies

@meddleaboutj

@behind-thebrowneyes

@thickynicky547

@hey-airam

thank you all so much for your patience and for reading this! I worked so hard and I really hope you loved it!

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ladykailitha · 1 year

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In the Midnight Hour Part 5

I made myself cry several times writing this next part. I’m sorry. It looks like two of my three WIPs are complete angst-fests at the moment. I can tell you they are both happily ever afters. I promise you that. Honest. Also Can Anybody See Me? will never devolve into angst because that is specifically meant to be fluffy as cotton candy and twice as sweet.

I will be focusing on this for a bit as I’m close to completing it. So the other two are on hiatus until this is done. Plus you really, really don’t want me to post the next part of Star Child until I have more. You really don’t.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Eddie wasn’t sure far the vampire thing went. He wasn’t sure if he could walk out in the middle of day and not become a crispy critter. It wasn’t something he wanted to test, if he was honest.

So the second the sun went down he found himself hiding behind the Motel 6 watching his uncle go about winding down from his day. Watching the news, washing his face and brushing his teeth. Tap, tap, tap.

As Wayne went about his routine, tap, tap, tap. Finally as he got into bed, flick, flick, flick, the light on and off. And then finally off.

Eddie sunk to the ground on his knees, tears streaming down his face. He let out a howl of pain, echoing through the empty parking lot.

Inside the motel, Wayne squeezed his eyes tightly, tears mirroring his nephew’s. Tap, tap, tap.

Eddie took flight, unable to stay there a second longer. His stomach was tying itself in knots. He knew he should feed tonight. He needed it. But not now.

He flew back to his lair, the laughter of Vecna filling the air.

“You friends don’t care about you,” Vecna said with a toothy grin. “Your only family is going about his day as if you never existed. I bet he feels relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about his fucked up nephew.”

Eddie’s face twisted in rage. “You don’t know jack shit, Veckie.”

Vecna laughed. “I watched as your sweet uncle go about his nightly routine as if you didn’t even cross his mind.”

Eddie frowned.

“Now you get it,” he continued. “Give it up, Eddie. You’re mine now. There is no one coming for you. There never will.”

Eddie let Vecna’s words pierce his soul. Let him see the anguish on his face, in every line of his body.

Vecna walked over to him and lifted his chin with a clawed finger. “You will behave now, won’t you?”

Eddie nodded.

“If you let Steve touch you again,” Vecna snarled, “I will kill you. Do you understand. You are mine and mine alone.”

Eddie gasped as Vecna dug his claw into his throat. “I understand.”

Vecna ran the palm of his hand over Eddie’s face. “I will let you continue to play with the Harrington boy.” Eddie closed his eyes. “Your pathetic brand of torment seems to be working.”

“Now go feed!” Vecna snarled. “Take your revenge on those petty fools. I delight in watching you play with them.” He pushed Eddie to the ground and then was gone.

Eddie opened his eyes, revealing the red slit pupils. His grin twisted around his sharp canines. He was ravenous. But he had an appointment to keep.

Steve waited by the open window, arms crossed over the window sill. The clock ticked over to midnight and there Eddie was, landing gently on the roof.

“Hey, Eds,” he greeted warmly.

Eddie stumbled on the tiles. Steve was out on roof in a split second and by his side.

“No!” Eddie cried. “Don’t touch me.”

Steve hovered nearby, concern etched into every line of his body.

“Veckie wasn’t very happy the last time you touched me,” Eddie bit out. “Said he would kill me if you did it again.”

Steve let out a whine. “I’m sorry. Maybe you shouldn’t come back.”

Eddie shook his head. “It’s a directive now. I have to be here.”

“Oh, Eds!”

Eddie sat down gracelessly on the roof, panting for breath.

Steve sat down next to him, careful not to even bump shoulders with the other boy.

“You okay?”

Eddie looked up at him and Steve’s eyes went wide.

“When was the last time you ate, man?”

Eddie brought his knees up to his chest. “I have to be careful or people will suspect something’s up.”

Steve scoffed. “You mean like the entire starting line of the basketball team being benched because they are too weak to stand?”

Eddie blushed and shoved his hair into his mouth. “Oops.”

Steve laughed. “I think only Robin and I noticed, if it’s any consolation.”

Eddie dropped his hair and looked over him. “Are you sure?”

“Pretty damn,” Steve murmured. “I heard a couple of kids talking and they think they have mono.”

Eddie laughed. “I hope everyone thinks they gave it to each other.”

Steve grinned. “We can only dream.” He bit his bottom lip. “I’m guessing you’re allowed to touch others to eat at least, right?”

Eddie slowly turned his head and looked Steve directly in the eye. “Please tell me you aren’t suggesting what I think you’re suggesting.”

Steve shrugged. “You need to eat and I don’t do anything anymore. I don’t even have job because my old work has a gigantic fucking red fault line running through it.”

“I’m starting to think you’re cursed, man,” Eddie said. “Two places you’ve worked have literally gone up in smoke.”

Steve lulled his head back and sighed. “Tell me about it. If it wasn’t for the hush money I got from the government, I’d up shit creek.”

“You really don’t want me to feed on you, Stevie,” Eddie whispered. “It’s not like the movies. It will hurt. And I don’t know what Vecna would do if I do this.”

Steve looked over at him and smiled. “With any luck, he’ll thank you for weakening me further.”

Eddie let out a low whine. He wanted this. He burned with desire for this. Steve pulled down the collar of his shirt and tilted his head away. Eddie licked his lips.

He could feel himself on the edge of a precipice. He leaned forward and pressed his tongue to Steve’s throat. Steve let out a little gasp. Oh the things it did to Eddie.

He sunk in his teeth, letting the blood well up in his mouth. It was like a fine whiskey after months of cheap beer. Eddie sighed, laving the precious liquid from Steve’s throat.

He forced himself to stop after two or three mouthful, pulling away gently. He looked over at Steve who looked as if he had just cum. All blissed out and happy.

Eddie blinked rapidly. That didn’t happen with any of the jocks. He gently cupped Steve’s face in his hand and tilted his head so that they were looking at each other.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured. “You okay?”

Steve stared at him for a moment before he came back to himself. “Yeah. Did you get everything you needed?”

Eddie huffed out a small bitter laugh. “Yeah, babe. I got what I needed. Just a little worried about you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Steve’s eyes began to clear and he straightened up. “Yeah. It was just a weird feeling. Like I was floating or some shit like that.”

Eddie’s eyes were wide as he cocked his head. “That’s not what usually happens.”

Steve blinked. “Maybe it’s because I was willing.”

Eddie shook his head. “Yeah, let’s go with that.”

Steve smiled that dopey grin of his and Eddie could feel Steve’s blood make his heart pound harder.

“You should go eat something and then go to bed,” Eddie murmured.

“You aren’t going to stay?” Steve asked with a frown.

Eddie shook his head. “Not after that. You’re going to be a little loopy for a while, and I don’t want you falling off this roof. I’m not sure I could catch you in time.”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them slowly. “I’m starting to see what you mean.”

Eddie waited until Steve was safely back into the house before he took off. He hovered in the air above Loch Nora and looked at his hand. His palm was red and hot to the touch, but it didn’t hurt. It hadn’t hurt last night either.

“That is interesting.” He thought back to earlier and his conversation with Vecna. The searing red line across the bastard’s throat. “Very interesting indeed.”

Steve woke up the next morning groggy and disorientated. He reached up to his neck and could feel two holes under his fingers. He got up and went into the bathroom.

In the mirror he could see that he had dark circles under his eyes and a vacant expression. He huffed out a laugh. Tommy used to say Steve always had a vacant expression, so no one would notice anything different there.

But the circles? That would be a problem. He pulled down his sleep shirt and marveled at the two puncture wounds that seemed to be healing faster than ordinary wounds.

Steve supposed that made sense. Vampires couldn’t have their victims unable to be fed on multiple times, after all.

He would just wear a polo today and blame the circles on his nightmares. He washed his face and brushed his teeth mostly on auto-pilot. Just going through the motions. He got dressed and wandered down for breakfast.

Drinking the orange juice seemed to help and he was feeling less like a zombie and more like a person. He fried up some eggs and gobbled them down, suddenly ravenous.

That was certainly an interesting reaction. Steve shook his head. He didn’t have time to worry about that right now. He grabbed his keys and ran out the door.

“So I talked to Dustin yesterday,” Robin began timidly.

Steve smiled. “Me, too.”

Robin squirmed in her seat. “What? When?” She smacked his arm. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I was just so tired when I got home,” he murmured, “that I forgot.”

She folded her arms. “Well, I’m not going to tell you what he said, until you tell me what happened.”

He laughed. “That’s fair. I hadn’t seen Max in a while so I bought donuts and went to go see her. See how she was doing, you know?”

Robin slowly turned her head back to Steve. “And Dustin was there?”

Steve pursed his lips and nodded. “We‒we talked. I don’t think we’ll ever have the relationship we had before–before Eddie died. But it’s good. It’s a start. It’s...”

Robin’s eyes softened. “I’m glad. I hated see you two on the outs.”

Steve pinched his nose and rubbed gently. “Yeah, me too.”

“So, Dustin doesn’t think there is anything to worry about,” she said after a moment. “There’s a mention of a half vampire half human character connected with Vecna. But if he hasn’t shown up by now, there’s a pretty good chance he’s not going to.”

“Tell me about him anyway,” Steve said. “I’m sure he word vomited about it.”

Robin eyed him wearily. “It was actually Will. Who is the sweetest kid, by the way.”

Steve smiled softly. “Him and El have had it the worst out of all of us and yet those to are still the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I’m glad you like him.”

“Anyway,” she continued, “he says that Kas sacrificed himself to become half vampire.”

“Kas is the one connected to Vecna?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes. As I was saying, he sacrificed himself to become half vampire and worked for Vecna for a really long time. Then Vecna got tired of him and locked him up. And that’s when Kas became The Betrayer.”

“He betrayed Vecna?” Steve asked in surprise. “That’s a ballsy move.”

“I know, right?”

“Anyway, he kills Vecna with this sword that is so sharp that it can cut through anything,” Robin finished.

“Wow,” Steve said. “That’s pretty wild.” He frowned.

“Steve?”

“Hop’s sword.”

Robin’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit.”

“That’s not good,” she said.

“Nope.”

“That means that even if Kas hasn’t shown up,” she said, “his sword has and he can’t be far behind.”

They pulled up to the school.

Steve felt a chill in the pit of his stomach. Like it was filled with lead.

“Steve?” Robin called. “Hey, talk to me.”

He pursed his lips. “I can’t. Not yet.” She opened her mouth to protest. He cut her off with a shake of his head. “I don’t have all the information yet. I’ll tell you when I do. I promise.”

She nodded and got out of the car. “We’ll figure this out, Steve. I promise.”

Steve nodded. “I know.”

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Tag List: @steddie-there @gregre369 @currently-steddiebrainrot @steddieassheg0es @estrellami-1 @anzelsilver @thequeenrainacorn @savory-babby @chaoticlovingdreamer @grtwdsmwhr @renaissan-vvitch @panicatthediaz @swimmingbirdrunningrock

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #vampire eddie #ladykailtiha writes

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alexblue29 · 7 months

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hey, you're cool.

oddly the therapist possum has a request!!

so, er.

ghost of chicago by noah floersch.

then, add

lovesick foolish!?

here's that idea, idk :,)

ANYBODY READING THIS, ILL BE YOUR THERAPIST :))))

Olay that song is so good though, thanks for making me obsessed with it! I made this pretty fucking angsty sooooo sorry? And let me know if y'all want more angst cause it's kinda fun to write! I wrote this in 45 minutes btw.

Foolish Gamers x Fem!Reader

It's angsty with a happy ending, unrequited love but not really, Foolish is a lovesick, kicked puppy, Foolish is called Noah although it.

Ghost Of Her

Noah sighed as he let himself fall into his chair. He looked over his setup, his monitors and computer were turned on with a discord call going. He had been chatting with Tina and Mouse before starting his stream. He rubbed at his face as he unmuted himself and picked up his cup of coffee.

His throat closed up for a second as he took his first sip, he missed her. She would always ask him what he was drinking and she'd have the same answer everytime he'd offer his reply,

"Honestly, people who drink their coffee black have to be psycopaths or something. Are you a psycopath, Foosh?" She'd laugh.

He quickly put his cup down as he stumbled into a coughing fit. His friends laughed at him, they asked him what happened.

"Nothing," he rasped out before clearing his throat, "Nothing, coffee just went down the wrong pipe."

He took his time getting his breath back and quickly redirected the conversation,

"I'm gonna start stream, see y'all on the server!"

Streaming did not help get his mind off of her, it never did. He would try to focus on his build but get distracted by his own thoughts. His chat, observant as ever, could tell he wasn't fully himself.

How could he be?

She's getting married tomorrow.

Noah rubbed his face roughly as he stood from his desk, he stretched, his joints popping as he did. He needed to clear his head and, even though it was nearing ten p.m., he grabbed his phone and made his way outside.

He walked for what felt like forever until he stumbled upon a familiar park, he made his way to it. As he walked, his feet guided him to the fountain in the very middle. He could see her, sitting by his side on the edge of it. A memory he cherishes of when she came to visit him for his birthday.

He remembers it like he still was there. A cold night, much like this one, he'd given her his sweater to keep her warm and tried to not melt every time his eyes found her. It was the perfect night. He should've said it. Why couldn't he just express his emotions like she could?

He frowned as he turned his back to the fountain and made his way away from it as fast as he could. His phone vibrated in his pocket, he reached for it and pulled it out.

Bad was calling him.

That was strange. They never called each other with their personal numbers, they exchanged them in case of an emergency. Before he realized it, the call had ceased. He didn'f reject it, he just waited too long.

Bad messaged him,

From: Bad (Dumbass)

I know you're looking at your phone.

It was all the warning he got before Bad called again. Noah retained a sigh as he answered,

"What's wrong?" his friend questioned right away.

"I have no idea what you mean, Bad."

He heard Bad scoff, Noah had always been a bad liar. "Tina and Mouse both messaged me saying you were being all weird and moppy this morning and I've watched your stream."

A moment of silence passed. Noah found his way on a stray bench before he whispered,

"She gets married tomorrow."

His voice broke in the middle, he couldn't bring himself to care.

He heard clicking noises from the other end before his phone vibrated again. He pulled it away from his ear and looked at the file Bad had sent him, a plane ticket?

"Bad, why did you-?"

"Because you are both idiots who refuse to be happy. Go get her, Foolish."

"I can't just barge into her wedding!"

"Says who?" Silence. Bad spoke again, "She's not happy, Foolish. Go get her."

And so here he was, in a taxi on his way to the wedding. It wasn't starting until twelve, it was currently ten-thirty. He couldn't fuck this up.

He thanked the driver as he closed the door. He saw her sister clock him immediately, he saw the way her eyes lit up with hope. She excused herself from a conversation and made his way to him.

"Noah! Thank god you're here, she's in the bride's room. Fifth door to the left, she's alone," She clapped him on the shoulder and lightly pushed him towards the building.

He thanked her quietly and quickly made his way to the room, he stopped before the door and raised a hesitant hand to knock.

"Angie? Is that you?" His heart lurched as her voice made its way to his ears.

"No, but she sent me to you."

He heard her inhale, he heard her quick steps to the door before she opened it, "Noah."

She let him in without a second thought. He took his time to look at her as she closed to door behind him. She'd barely changed from the last time he'd seen her. She already had her hair and makeup done for the wedding, but she was still in her white robe.

Noah couldn't take it, he took two large steps toward her and wrapped her in a tight hug that she reciprocated immediately. She was smudging her makeup on his shirt and he was definitely messing up up her hair as he gently grabbed the back of her head.

"Don't marry him," he muttered as he nuzzled into the top of her head, "Please, don't marry him."

"I can't just leave," she whispered to him.

He swallowed, "Bad bought my ticket to come get you, and two more to go back. One for me, and one for you," she looked up at him. "Your sister is on your side, she'll help you get your stuff if you need."

He caressed her cheek gently and whispered, "Come home to me, my clementine."

He could see her melt. He could see her ghost melt and finally letting the her he knew out again. She nodded. His heart was beating out of him chest. She broke away from his, went into the bathroom. He gathered all her things in her bag as he waited.

When she stepped out, her hair was up in a ponytail, her makeup off and she'd changed into some joggers and one of his old t-shirts she must have stolen when she visited him.

With her bag in his hand, he gently grabbed her hand and guided her away from the wedding. Together they made their way to the airport. She texted her sister and thank you and asked for her help to which her sister immediately agreed.

As they were flying back to Noah's home, he took a selfie of the both of them and sent it to their discord server with all their friends with a single message,

"Thank you, Bad."

#foolish #foolish x reader #foolish gamers x reader #foolish gamers #badboyhalo #foolish fanfic #fanfiction #alexblue's fics #alexblue's asks

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rafedaddy01 · 9 months

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Dont Leave Me

series masterlist

Warnings: angst, swearing, manipulation

summary: your torn between saving your friends or telling the truth about what you saw…

An: requests are always welcomed ‼️ (not edited)

Rafe was toxic. You knew it, he knew it. But it’s why you loved him, you had a tendency t help people and rage was in desperate need of some.

“Please don’t leave y/n. Y/n please!” Rafe cried as you got on your bike and rode out of his driveway. You didn’t know where you were going, your family kicked you out once you started dating the kook king. You were s pouge and they weren’t very fond of you hanging around royalty.

“JJ” you sniffled as you walked into the chateau “y/n? What’s wrong?” He rushed over to you. “I-I- I just didn’t know where to go. I know we haven’t talked since I started dating Rafe, but I just-just couldn’t go home. My parents don’t want me there and- I just didn’t know where to go..” you were sobbing in his arms at this point.

“Hey, hey hey! It’s okay. Just- tell me what happened”

“It’s Rafe. He’s in big trouble and he’s got me wrapped up in it” you said trying to catch your breath.

“What did he do y/n?” JJ said getting angry at the thought of rafe hurting you.

Just when you were about to tell him how you witnessed Rafe murder sheriff peterkin your phone dinged

“If you tell anybody what you saw, your little pouge friends won’t make it out alive” -Rafe

Your eyes widened at the message and you rushed out of the house, years once again streaming down your cheeks as you got on your bike and rode. To where you had no clue, but you needed to get away..

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wolfyaka · 6 months

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Has anybody else been overanalyzing All Might's hallucinations? Because I have and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this:

All Might has literally said twice that they are hallucinations and that those are things he's telling himself, so either for some weird reason he just can't and won't accept these are actually Nana and Nighteye talking to him (which would be weird but it would explain how Nighteye knew that was the actual vision) or they are indeed representing his own mind, which is clearly divided. I'm not saying he's two different people, of course, All Might and Toshinori are one and the same, but he does have a complex and contrasting personality and he can oscillate, just like he shows different aspects of himself as All Might and Toshinori.

Either way, if that's the case, I believe Nana represents his heroic, self-sacrificing to a fault self, always pushing him to keep going no matter what, which we saw in the two fights with AFO actually, and which makes sense because that's what she represented as well; and then, there's Nighteye, which represents his humanity, his fragility and in the end, his inherent value as a human being, his right to live; which is beautiful considering Nighteye is probably the first person that actually cared for his life and worried enough to have an argument with him, mind you, I don't agree with the way he handled it, but his heart was in the right place and he did what he thought was the best.

Which leads me to All Might's mindset when acting. I believe in this whole arc after he retired, he struggled with those two sides:

At times understanding his life was worth protecting and wanting to do so. Pushing himself to believe he could change his destiny and thinking of ways to do so, that is, when he promised to live to Izuku's mom, when he told AFO he'd keep living, when he made the promise to bend his destiny with Izuku, when he talked to Aizawa and said he had decided to live, when he decided to ask Melisa for help, when he used his student's quirks as support, when he started streaming his battle and just being aware of people asking him to live.

But at times, there was also the feeling that his life made no sense without helping as a field hero, mourning how weak his human body was, falling into depression, still craving to hold on to his dream, to his heroic core, and in that, doubting that he'd be able to bend his own destiny because in the end, he'd go as far as it was needed, and that, ultimately, it was fine because that was the heroic thing to do.

I believe he went into the fight with AFO with both mindsets at the same time and that's why in his hallucination he jokes about the mentor being meant to die, just for himself to answer back that no, that's just for comics, heroes are human too.

Also, as a side note, I love that the way Izuku's and All Might's destinies changed, wasn't because they stopped being crazy heroic (which yeah probably don't do that in real life, but hey, they did risk their lives for a very huge, good reason), it was because they allowed other people in, to be inspired, to care, and to help and save them, be it with their wishes and will or directly like Eri in Izuku's case and Bakugo in All Might's case. It seems so beautifully poetic, just like someone else said with the wordplay of the Three Musketeers, they gave "One for all", and everyone gave them "All for one" back, which is what society needed to begin with; the fault wasn't in All Might carrying everything on his shoulders per se, it was that he felt the need to do so because a lot of people didn't care enough to move one finger, like we saw with Shigaraki.

By the way... this expression is everything I ever wanted T^T

#all might #toshinori yagi #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha 405 #sir nighteye #nana shimura #mha #Am I overthinking?#It makes sense doesn't it?

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voted4exile · 1 year

Text

dream’s lore q&a 2022.11.16

Transcript of Dream’s answers to lore questions from his Twitter space on 2022.11.16. Timestamps link to an upload of the Twitter Space on Daily Dream Team Clips channel.

c!Dream’s lore finale [15:27]

Dream lore finale for Dream SMP. That's pretty good. It's a good topic. What about it? Let's talk about it. I think it turned out great. I- I really, I was really happy with it. Obviously, if we had more time and, and everything, we could do, do more. But I'm happy with what we, what we did, with what we were given. And I'm happy with how everything went. It went great.

I quite enjoyed playing the character, and I like, I like, like role-playing and stuff is fun, obviously. Had a good time. It was great. Kind of the daily streams. Streaming with. With Tommy, it went back. It took me back to back in the day. Tommy and Tubbo and everything. It was a lot of fun. I enjoyed it.

I think revealing a lot of the stuff that in terms of intentions. It was all stuff that has kind of already been out there, but not like kind of concise and also not like to Tommy- c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. But you know, it was fun. It was fun. I enjoyed it.

c!Tommy’s limbo [21:15]

“Can you talk about why c!Tommy saw that in his limbo?” I'd say that that's, that's more of a question for Tommy than, than me. Because my reasoning is, well, it's, it's what pushes the story along. But I don't know what the- Tommy's reasoning behind, behind it is and what Tommy's character's reasoning behind it is. So.

I think that the way that I would, I would look, I would interpret it is that-- It's kind of like it, like Tommy wants like-- This, this is what, this is how I would interpret it. And totally, Tommy could completely disagree. So feel free to disregard everything I'm about to say if you don't like it at all.

But I would interpret it as that Tommy really wants like for his friends to, to be able to, you know. If for it to be simple and for him to just be having fun with his friends. You know how, how, he- how it used to be back in the early days of the server and so seeing that but for his, you know, for-- seeing that, but for Dream. You know, the, the-- Dream experiencing what he, you know, what he wants. And of course, Dream is his nemesis, whatever. That's how. That's how I would interpret it.

c!Tommy did not forgive c!Dream [23:31]

“Hi king, can you confirm the interaction between Dream and Tommy wasn't a forgiveness, it was just understanding?” Yeah. No, no, Tommy wasn't forgiving, was not forgiving Dream. I think it was a-- I think Tommy, Tommy had never seen Dream other, as anything other than just this evil, you know, bastard that's doing all these horrible torturous things to him. Which he did and was. And had never, never stopped to think about or, or even imagine, you know, what Dream was like before, you know, in the, in the past. So it was more of a humanizing moment of kind of like a, you know, this person's, this, hey, this person's a human, too. We're both from the same place, whatever.

It was, it was definitely not, “Oh, that means that everything's OK.” Like, I think Tommy said this. Tommy said the same thing in the lore. He was like, “Well, it doesn't, you know, I understand, you know, what your goal is, but this isn't how you do it.” And I think it was one of those things where you-- In my mind, it was, it was a moment of, you know, before in, in the past, you know, you're never going to, if you don't understand somebody's intentions, you don't understand somebody's goals, you don't understand why somebody, what somebody wants and you go into every situation with a, “Well, you're, you know, you're evil or you're, you know, you're a bad person,” you know, whatever. Then you're never going to convince the other person. And it's the same thing with-- You're never gonna make any ground with anybody.

And I think that, so it was, it was the first time where, ever between Tommy and Dream, where they had any, any kind of understanding with each other. Because they had always just been at each other's throats and had always been. You know, fighting for so long. It had never stopped to really, really try and understand each other, but especially for, for Dream. As, as obviously his motives for a million different things had just been, had been up in the air and had been things that not only did the audience not know, but the, the characters themselves don't know either.

But yeah, so I'd say it was, it was 100%. It was not. It was not a forgiveness thing. It was a, it was an understanding. And it wasn't an understanding with a level of forgiveness. It was just understanding it completely. It was just a-- And I think it was more of a Tom- Tommy going up, you know, for the longest time, operating under the impression that Dream is just this, you know, evil bastard that. That, you know, “just enjoys, absolutely enjoys torturing me” and whatever. And, you know, that's the thing is you can interpret things how you like. But I- I'd say that there, there is an element there, and there, there is an element of enjoyment from, you know, from Dream's perspective. Because of, because of the, the past and their history together and whatever. I'm sure Dream does derive some joy from the actions he's seeing, the things he's put Tommy through and whatever.

But obviously those are-- He's not going into it with the intention of, “Oh, I- I- This is my, my goal is just to bring hell to Tommy or bring hell to the server” or whatever. And so I think that the, the moment of understanding is more understanding that if, if that's not, if that's not Dream, if Dream's intention isn't or Dream's main goal is not, you know, being an evil person and, you know, deep down he, he, he does have good intentions even if he's is an evil bastard for the way he went about things. That maybe there is a way to make it work. You know, because if you're just, if you're just pure evil then, you know. You get, get rid of, get rid of it from the earth, you know. Versus if, you know. Oh, you're, you've done horrible things. You deserve to pay, you to deserve to pay for them. You deserve to be punished for them. You deserve to have repercussions from them. But at the same time. Yeah, you can-- There is a way where we can work together because we have the same, we have the same goals, we have the same morals, we have the same, you know, whatever in mind. That’s kind of how I look at it. I don’t know if that-- I don’t know. I think it’s also more up for interpretation.

c!Dream’s plans for the prison [28:23]

“What would have happened if c!Dream's imprisonment had lasted longer?” I don't know what you mean by that. I think that the, the, the biggest, like, behind people, cause people were saying, “Oh, Dream purposely put himself in prison.” So I was like, “Well yeah, but no.” And from my pers- my understanding of it is, yes, Dream did purposefully, you know, put himself into the prison. And the prison was a part of the overall plan in terms of-- It wasn't, it wasn't, I didn't--

The prison wasn't built for Dream. The prison was built for the, for fulfilling Dream's goals overall and the ability to do that and one of those things was to-- Obviously, there'd be, there'd be certain people that would be more likely to get in the way and unlikely to-- And, and also having the understanding of the fact that there was a revival book. Dream, after kind of becoming aware of that and, and coming to possession of one himself, Dream had the idea that, well, you know, what if. What if somebody like Techno or somebody like, you know, somebody strong.

And I'd say, in my mind, that it was originally, when I came up with the idea for it, it was, it was more so based on Technoblade. And the reasoning for it was Dream being scared of the fact. Well, what if there's more? What if there's more revival books and what if death is not, you can't stop somebody with death? Like it's, it's scary knowing that you can, you, you can beat somebody fully and then they're just there. And so he thought the idea of making a prison where if that ever does come to be where somebody is trying to stop, stop him, stop his goals, stop, you know, hurt the server or whatever that they'd be able to be stopped by putting them in the prison. Which is kind of funny because, obviously, it kind of ended up being the opposite but when Dream- c!Dream put himself into the prison. It was, it was thought of as a very, it was thought of as a temporary thing and ended up lasting a lot longer than he had imagined. And also, on top of that, he didn't expect that Awesamdude would let Quackity into fucking torture him. So that obviously made things a million times worse. But.

Just to clarify, the prison wasn't built for Techno, but it was just like. Oh well, Techno's-- Seeing Techno’s power and stuff back then and being like, it was one of those things where it was like. Oh. What if somebody as powerful as Technoblade? You know, there are people that can be as powerful as, as, you know, as me or whatever, as c!Dream and so. What if one of them is is not on our side? Or what if Techno is not in the future? Whatever.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!dream #dreamwastaken #dreblr #c!tommy #tommyinnit #c!techno #technoblade #disc duo #discduo #rivals duo #rivalsduo #my posts #transcript #I cleaned up the twitter autogenerated captions #figured maybe some people would like to see #what dream had said exactly

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