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swordsandholly · 17 days

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Double Date - Double Down

NSFW | MDNI

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem!plus size!reader

Word count: 4.9k

Summary: When you get a call in the middle of the afternoon from your friend begging you to fill an empty spot on a double date your initial instinct is a hard no. After all, no one wants to go on a blind double date and be surprised by the fat friend. It doesn’t help that this Simon guy is stupid fucking hot and obviously doesn’t like you - if his lack of talking is anything to go by.

A/N: Just a fun little oneshot I used as a warmup between working on chapters of future multi chapter projects.

“I said *no*.” You snap, angrily folding the washcloth in your hands.

Your friend splutters from the other side of the phone, the desperation in her voice only growing now that she’s on her fourth ask. “*Pleeeaase*! Steph backed out last minute and no one else is free-“

“How do you know I’m free?”

“You just said you were!”

You huff. She’s got you there. When she first called, you admitted you didn’t have anything going on but that was *before* she told you the plan for the night. Before she mentioned that her very, very conventionally hot military boyfriend wanted to do a little double date with his friend and one of hers. Plus, you take a least a little offense to being second choice. Really, last choice, it seems.

“Cass, you can’t just set up a blind date and take your fat friend. That’s not-“

“You’re not fat, love. You’re beautiful.” Her words drip with turned honey. You make a gagging face to yourself in the mirror. “You just need more confidence!”

You sigh loudly, pinching the bridge of your nose. You could try, for the millionth time, to explain to her the nuanced ins and outs of dating as a fat woman. The rules and stats that could rival even the most complex rpg… or you could be petty. It takes less time to be petty. “If I go, you’re paying for my drinks.”

“Johnny’s friend will probably-“

“Yeah, and when he leaves you’re paying for my tab.”

“He won’t-“

“We got a deal?”

She clicks her tongue. “*Fiiiine*.”

At least you can get wasted for free either way. A small consolation. She texts you the time and location, barely leaving you with enough time to shower and turn yourself into something presentable. Not that you really care. It’s going to be shit either way, most likely. Staring yourself down in the mirror, you suppose you could at least try to look somewhat attractive. If you’re about to get rejected (or possibly shouted at, you’ll never forget *that* horrendous interaction) you might as well feel your best.

The pub is small as you push through the front door. Casual. A couple pool tables, some darts, a large bar and few booths with stools on the outer side. You scan the room, searching for Cass’s familiar face.

“Over here!” Cass waves with a wide arc at you, a grin plastered from ear to ear. At least she’s having fun.

You take a long breath, bracing yourself for whatever is about to happen. Cass introduces you to her boyfriend - who is somehow even hotter in person. You can see why she’s so smitten with him. Johnny looks you up and down as he shakes your hand. He doesn’t comment, or make a face, or really react in any particular way, but you can feel a shift. Something in his eyes…

Maybe it’s just your imagination. You’ve always been a little over sensitive.

“Si will be back in a sec. Stepped over tae get a drink.” He flashes a grin.

You hum, quietly folding your hand as Cass pushes a cocktail for you that she preemptively ordered. Criticize her as much as you like, she knows her mixes.

“There he is.” Johnny grins, turning slightly.

You follow his gaze, heart sinking as your eyes settle on the man approaching your table. He’s massive. Tall and wide. Total brick shithouse. His face is mostly covered by a black surgical mask. A few years ago you might have questioned it but at this point you couldn’t care less, especially when his dark eyes meet yours, small flecks of gold honey catching the low bar lights. Barely styled tufts of blonde hair stick up from his head. They look like they might curl if he let it grow a little longer.

All in all, wayyyy out of your league.

He settles into his seat with all the confidence of any military man - back ramrod straight. He extends a large hand. “Simon Riley.”

You murmur your name, somewhat enthralled by the half lidded, almost bored look in his eyes. Now that he’s closer you notice a large scar splitting his left eyebrow and light, newly forming crows feet in the corners of his eyes.

“S-so you’re military, too?” You stutter, eyes trained on his the massive hand holding his glass. It’s nicely vascular, his nails are well groomed but it also looks like he could snap you in half with it.

Not that that’s entirely a bad thing - whatever that may or may not say about you.

He nods. “I’m a Lieutenant.”

“Oh! Officer position. So you’re smart, then?” You try to be charming, to give him a sweet smile and keep your body language open.

“Enough.” He deadpans. It takes a few beats for you to realize he’s not going to say anything else.

“Uh…” You squirm awkwardly under his gaze. It’s intense - his dark eyes nearly black in the low light of the bar. “I do hair.”

Conversation is slow, to say the least. The longest answer he gives you is maybe five words. He only flips up the mask long enough to take a sip of his drink every so often. You start to talk less, opting toward a group conversation in which Johnny takes the lead, which he is obviously very good at. He regales you and Cass with a few stories of his and Simon’s adventures. Some funny, some brave, some worrying. He’s setting the man up to be a god, nearly, but Simon himself just shakes his head and insists Johnny is exaggerating.

You wonder what he sees in Simon. Alternatively, you wonder what *you’re* supposed to see in Simon. Besides his good looks, of course. He’s… bland. Obviously bored if his constant glances toward the exits and rhythmic, occasional tapping on the corner of the table are anything to go by.

“Want tae go dance, lovie?” You overhear Johnny as he leans in toward Cass.

She glances at you, then Simon, then back to you before nodding enthusiastically. “We’ll give you two some time *alone*.”

In any other situation, you’d probably beg her to stay in desperation for a conversation buffer. Here and now, though, you’re grateful. You can finally let this poor guy off the hook. You wait until they’re gone; fully out of earshot before turning to the man in front of you.

“I…uh… look…” You chew your lip, glancing between him and your folded hands on the table. “Sorry… I know I’m probably not what, uh, what you expected… I get it if you want to leave. It’s - you don’t have to stay, or whatever. Don’t have to be polite…”

He cocks an eyebrow, eyes boring through your skull. “Why would I want to leave?”

“I know what I look like. You don’t have to be nice.”

His raised brow turns into a slight frown. “I think you’re quite pretty.”

You scoff - blushing despite yourself. “Again, you don’t have to be nice.”

“Do I seem like the type to just be nice?”

You continue to gnaw at your lip. He’s got you there. Simon definietly doesn’t come off as the type to bow to polite society. “You’ve barely talked to me.”

He stares for a moment. It’s his turn to avert his eyes, swirling around the whiskey in his glass awkwardly. Almost bashfully. “It’s not you. I’m… not great in public… especially in crowds…”

Oh.

*Oh*.

You’ve completely misjudged him, haven’t you? Shit. He’s just a big awkward lug isn’t he?You sigh, rubbing your temple. “Oh God, *I’m* the asshole, aren’t I?”

He chuckles, “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I’m sorry it’s just…” you scrub a hand over your face. “Most men don’t really want to be surprised with a fat girl on a blind date. Guess I assumed the worst.”

Simon hums. A low vibration that settles into your bones. He gets up, sliding into the booth side of the table beside you - his massive frame pushing into your space. He smells like spices. Cinnamon and pepper. A little hint of leather and tobacco underneath. It’s heady, and some primal part of your mind wishes you could roll around in it like a dog.

“Some men might like a waifish little thing, that’s their business, but personally…” He leans in, a large hand resting on your wide thigh. “Yeah. I like somethin’ I can get a proper handful of.”

“*Oh*.” You squeak, back stiff. Was that what you saw in Johnny’s face before? Approval?

“‘Ere’s a thought - we go back to mine. S’quiet. Can talk more freely. See where the night goes, hm?”

You smile hesitantly, finally looking up to meet his gaze. It’s honest. Kind. Dark pools of sincerity. It’s against your better judgement. Impractical. Out of character. Even so, you allow yourself to surrender with a warmth in your cheeks and a small nod.

“I’ll get an Uber.” He pulls out his phone, tapping away. “Five minutes out.”

“Want to wait outside?” You offer, nodding toward the front entrance. Simon just nods, following you out close behind. Neither of you say much of anything while you wait, but you watch him out of the corner of your eye. He taps on his leg a few times in much the same way as he did on the table.

He dutifully opens the car door for you, letting you slide in before climbing in beside you, long legs slightly cramped in the small sedan.

“You don’t live on base?” You ask as the Uber drives away from the infamous military housing. You’d been there once or twice - a while ago when you were younger and messier.

“S’too loud.” He shrugs. “Too crowded.”

“Well, at least you’re consistent.” You smile.

Simon hums, resting his hand on your thigh once again. It’s casual, not too high up or too much pressure. Not presumptuous.

“How’d Johnny get you out there in the first place? If you’re so *averse*.” You tilt your head.

He shrugs, “Was supposed to be another Sergeant we work with but I guess he cancelled. No one else was free.”

“Ah, so we’re both last choices, then.”

“Yeah?”

“Made Cass promise me free drinks if I came.”

“Smart girl.” He chuckles, holding out a hand to help you up out of the car upon your arrival. His hand is warm when you take it, and a small part of you feels disappointed when he lets go.

The building is small. Old. All red brick with a thirty year old intercom and an elevator that you’re pretty sure hasn’t been inspected since the place was built. About halfway down the hall, you start to second guess yourself. You don’t know a thing about this guy - you don’t know what’s going to happen as soon as you get on the other side of his door. His weird, bright red door. Wait - why is this whole floor covered in red doors?

“Alright?” He grunts, back turned to you as he wrestles with the lock.

“Uh - why is your floor color themed?”

Simon laughs, wide shoulders shaking with the movement. It’s a low sound, something that vibrates in his chest. Makes you want to press your ear to it, see how it feels. If it will reverberate into your bones as well. “The old lady that owns the building is a bit… unique. Likes to talk about colors and karma and destiny stuff.”

“Ah.” You nod, as if that makes any sense at all. “So you’re red?”

“Apparently.”

His apartment is actually quite homey, as you step into it. From a stiff military man like him you expected something akin to an ikea floor model. Instead it’s furnished with a well worn, green couch. A large TV with an extremely up-to date surround sound system and an entertainment center filled to the brim with CDs sits against the wall. A few movie posters fill the walls. All horror classics - you count three of the scream movies. The first two final destination. There are condensation rings on the coffee table.

Behind you, you hear the door lock and unlock three times, but you don’t pay it much mind.

“Want a drink?” Simon asks, already popping open a decanter full of something gold on a small drink cart beside the kitchen island.

“Sure.” The agreement is automatic - blurted out before you can second guess taking a drink from a total stranger.

You watch a little too closely as he takes off his light jacket, exposing his strong arms and a half sleeve tattoo. It’s a bit tacky, all skulls and military symbols. The black ink has been sun worn over time. The motif of a young getting his first tattoo after enlisting. He settles down on the couch with the decanter and two glasses, patting the spot beside him. You plop down. It’s pretty comfortable, honestly.

His fingers loop into the mask’s straps. You find yourself watching with wide eyes and bated breath as he removes it. His nose is crooked - broken more than a couple times, you think. There’s a scar running from his nose to upper lip that could only come from a cleft palette. It’s charming, in a way. When he turns toward you, you notice a patch on the side of his face that looks like a rather large burn all the way down to his sharp jaw. The roughness of him works, somehow. The scars and tattoos and choppy hair all coming together to create the visage of a life hard lived.

“You’re really pretty…” the words slip from your tongue before you can stop them.

Simon splutters out a laugh, the slightest hint of color appearing across his cheeks. “Didn’t take you for a flatterer.”

“I’m not.” You huff before nodding toward the posters. “Horror fan?”

He hums, passing you a glass. “Are you a fan? Of horror, I mean.”

“Found footage!” You grin a little too excited. “It’s the best genre.”

“Terrible taste.” He scoffs.

“Wrong! Found footage can be anything you want it to be - slasher, thriller, mystery, mocumentary. Anything.”

“Which makes them messy.” He argues. “Anyone can make one.”

“Yeah! Theres so many hidden gems out there.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Oh, I’ll put you on them. We just need to get you a good one.”

“Askin’ me on a second date already, love?”

“Oh, fuck off.” You shove at his shoulder. He was right, it is so much easier to talk freely out of the bar. Away from everyone and everything. His posture is far more relaxed, laid back into the couch with his hips canted forward rather than stiff as a board.

“We could watch one now?” He offers. If you were more sober, you might have heard the twinge of pleading in his voice. As it stands you’ve already drained the glass he gave you and are perfectly buzzed enough to be ignorant to the subtler parts of communication.

How convenient.

“Okay.” You whisper.

After a bit of debating back and forth you settle on Hell House. After all, it’s been your tried and true method for getting anyone and everyone into the genre. You don’t notice it, at first, but you slowly begin to scoot closer to him as you fold your knees up on the couch. Eventually, tucking yourself under his arm sling across the back cushions. Between him and the drinks - which you’re pretty sure is a rather fancy bourbon - you feel what could only be described as snuggly. Limbs loose and pliant, smile easy and words flowing as you cheer and jeer at the characters together.

At some point, Simon’s dark eyes meet between yours. You lean in, so does he. Inch by inch until your lips meet. It’s tentative, at first. Testing the waters. His lips are soft and move expertly against yours. You part for him has his tongue darts across your lower lip.

It’s easier than it usually is for you. Easy to let him pull you over his lap. To rest your hands on his broad shoulders as you take each other in. Normally, you’re not a person for one night stands. A commitment kind of gal. You can’t exactly say no, though, when you have a beautiful man’s hands traveling over your body like it’s the only thing in the world worth paying attention to right now.

He breaks the kiss just long enough to grunt, “Bedroom?”

“*Yes*.” You gasp between kisses.

Suddenly those large hands grasp under your ass as you’re hauled up. You grapple to hold onto the back of his neck, keeping your weight forward.

“Simon!”

“Yes, love?” He asks as if he didn’t just life you like a sack of potatoes.

“A-aren't I heavy?” You question as he makes his way through the apartment, peppering kisses over your neck and jaw.

“No.” He replies bluntly. Like what you asked was stupid.

You’re placed on a bed with all the gentleness of a rare china plate- one hand cradling your upper back and the other tucked under your thighs. There isn’t any time to take in the room before Simon is kissing you again but you do count approximately five pillows and zero navy sheets.

That shouldn’t be as hot as it is.

Simon leans in close, nose ever so slightly bumping yours. “Before we keep going, I want to establish a rule. Red light means stop. At any time, for any reason.”

You can’t help but smile. “Okay.”

“Say it back, doll.”

“Red light means stop.” You reach up and cup his face. So handsome. So warm.

“Good girl.” He murmurs. “Let’s get these off, hm?” Simon pulls your clothes off deftly - dragging those rough palms over your skin as he moves and kneading at the plushness of your hips appreciatively.

You reach up to tug at his shirt. “S’not fair if I’m the only one naked.”

Simon chuckles and hastily sits back to yank the shirt over his head, giving a lovely show in the process. You think this what people mean when they talk about an Adonis. There’s a comfortable soft layer of his strong abdomen. Something you want to sink your teeth into. Your fingers trace each dip and curve of his muscles, the lovely shape of his pectorals, the raised scars littering his body. Floral shapes from bullets along with slashes and smaller jabs. A particularly nasty one runs down his side, coving his ribs. A burn, you think.

“You’re beautiful.” You murmur. Definitely out of your fucking league. You move to sit up, reaching for his waistband.

His hand pushes your shoulder back on the bed. “Let me take care of you tonight, bird.”

Your face warms. Simon kisses your cheek, continuing down to your chest and taking one of your nipples in his mouth. Gently sucking and nipping at it while flicking the other with his hand. A shameful whimper escapes your throat.

Simon leans up to murmur in your ear, “What do you want, sweet girl?”

“Want you to fuck me…” You murmur, embarrassment making you want to close your legs. His solid hips block you.

“Oh, I will, but first I want those beautiful thighs wrapped around my head.” Simon continues to place kisses down your body, over your stomach, stopping right at your panty line and tracing along it with rough fingers. His arms circle your thighs and in one swift motion your hips teeter on the edge of the bed, Simon kneeling between them. His fingers hook in the waistband of your underwear.

“W-wait…” You sit up on your elbows.

He freezes, looking up at you.

“I, uh, I haven’t exactly *landscaped* in a while… wasn’t really planning-“

Simon huffs out a laugh. “I’m a grown man, love. You think a little bush is gonna scare me off?”

All thoughts related to anything within the proximity of embarrassment come to an instant halt as Simon’s lips wrap around your clit- sucking and nipping and lapping like a man starved. Like he’d die without it. A low groan rumbles through his throat.

“F-fuck!” You gasp, whimpers and moans interrupting any chance you may have at putting words together.

“Taste so fucking good, princess.” He mumbles against you. A shaky moan rattles through you as he pushes a thick finger in, working it gently. His other than grips your hip tightly, pinning you in place. The pet-name sends a shiver down your spine - leaving you rolling your hips and clenching on the finger inside you.

“Fuck, Si…” You gasp, tangling your fingers in his hair.

“I can tell your close, baby.” Simon groans. “Cum for me. Come on, be a good girl and cum all over my fucking tongue.”

The bastard knows the power he has in that voice. He *has* to. That baritone gravel sinks in your veins and all you can do is whimper. Panting pathetically the closer you get. His fingers curl up and your back arches harshly as your climax washes over you. Your legs tremble as he works you through it; stopping just shy of pushing you too far.

“Hey!” You gasp indignantly as a jolt shoots up your spine as he settles a final, harsh suck on your clit.

Simon taps your hip, climbing back over you as you scoot up on the bed. He carelessly kicks off his pants as he goes, toeing them off before settling between your legs. Those dark eyes rake over you leisurely - taking in every inch. Every curve and dip and flaw categorically. He sucks in a breath and sighs. “Bloody ‘ell, look at you… so fuckin’ pretty.”

Your face heats and you look away. “Who’s the flatterer now?”

“Not me. Just bein’ honest.” He places a quick kiss to your soft jawline before reaching over to dig through his nightstand drawer. You don’t miss the gold foil of the condom wrapper.

You can’t stop yourself from licking your lips as he pulls off his boxer briefs. Simon is uncut, already ruddy and leaking and just begging for your mouth. Maybe next time, though. He’s already slipped on the condom, carefully hooking one of your legs over his shoulder and the other around his hip. The man has a laser-focus to him, you’ll give him that.

“Still want t’ keep goin’?” He mumbles, eyes locked on his cock as is drags between your folds.

“*Please*.” You whine pathetically. Simon’s chuckle turns into a gasp as he presses in. It’s achingly slow and you roll your hips in demand for more.

Simon lets out a low groan as his hips meet yours. The stretch is perfect - just enough to feel completely full without pushing you too far. As though your bodies were made to slot together just so. Your head falls back, chest heaving as you beg him to move, to fuck you, just *please* for the love of god-

“Needy little thing.” He gives you a sloppy smile before setting a brutal pace. You find yourself clawing at his back, clinging to him as your back arches and the most obscene sounds are systematically torn from your throat. The angle he has your hips placed causes his cock to bully that sensitive spot inside you - dragging over it with every thrust.

Simon leans toward, bracing himself on his forearms and pinning you under him as he fucks into you. “So fuckin’ good f’me. Knew you would be. So soft and sweet and goddamn *pretty*.”

“*Fuck, Simon*.” You gasp, nose bumping against his as your lips intertwine. Breaths and moans intermingle as you both chase that edge. There’s nothing else, in this moment, just you and Simon and the sounds only he has ever managed to pull from you.

Your orgasm hits you like a train. Out of nowhere and all at once, tensing every muscle into a trembling mess as you clamp down around his cock. Simon sinks his teeth into your neck as his own climax takes him, cradling you close and moaning out your name so muddled you almost miss it.

For a few moments, you stay frozen in place trying to catch your breath as you come down. Your limbs feel like jelly when you finally try to move, body limp and pliable. It almost feels like a loss as he pushes off of you, leaving you open and vulnerable to the cool night air while he ties off the condom.

“Be right back.” He murmurs, slowly climbing off you and heading for an attached bathroom off to the left.

You let your eyes slipped closed only to jump and shoot back open as a dap rag drags between your thighs. A little yelp escapes you as the rough material drags across your oversensitive clit. Simon chuckles at you, tossing the rag back somewhere in the bathroom before crawling into the bed beside you. It’s so easy to curl into his chest and let those strong arms encircle you.

“Have fun, love?” Simon murmurs into your hair.

You just hum happily, smiling against his hard chest.

“Good.”

It’s just as easy as the rest of it to fall asleep like that. To seek out the warmth of his body in your satiated haze and press into him, allowing the night and rhythmic beating of his heart to overtake you. You feel four small taps between your shoulder blades just before tipping over the edge into comfortable nothing.

You wake slowly to an empty bed. The light from the window above you streams in - bathing the room in a light golden tone. It’s cozy. The blankets seem to pull you in, keeping you snugly in place. Distantly, you hear the sound of pots and pans clinking.

Shockingly, you’re not hungover. Well, not much at least. There’s a slight twinge in your head and a not unpleasant soreness in your hips. You dig around, finding your clothes strewn across the room haphazardly. Your underwear are nowhere to be found and you eventually give up with a shrug. They weren’t one of your best pairs anyway.

When you come out of the bedroom, you pause. Simon stands in the kitchen, working on something over the stove wearing only a pair of sweatpants. They hang loosely around his hips, showing off the rises and dips of his strong muscles and well defined waist. This scene somehow feels too intimate despite your activities the night before.

“Perfect timing.” Simon turns, placing a plate down on the kitchen island. The omelette before you looks immaculate, all the way down to a light garnish on top.

Your eyes turn to saucers. “You…you made me breakfast?”

“Course.” He nods sharply as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. As if *not* doing so would be some sort of affront. Either you’re still asleep and this is all a dream or you stumbled upon the perfect man through pure happenstance.

He turns the stove off and on and off twice before standing at the counter across from you while you sit on one of the stools at the island. It’s a comfortable silence as you both eat. Simon keeps glancing up at you as if waiting for your disapproval. Boyish, somehow, despite the size and breadth of him.

It’s perfect. The eggs practically melt in your mouth and the goat cheese and vegetables taste fresh. You can’t help but him happily as you eat.

By the time you’re done, you think you might be a little in love.

Maybe you should text Cass and thank her or something. Maybe a gift basket. “Oh. My phone’s dead.”

“Didn’t charge it before y’left last night?” Simon cocks an eyebrow, chewing on his last bite.

You snort. “It was last minute, remember?”

“What if I’d been some sort of psycho? What was your plan?” He grins as he takes your empty plate. If you were a more impulsive woman you may have gone so far as to lick the damn thing.

“Are you a psycho?”

“Not generally, no.”

“Well then, nothing to worry about.” You grin, watching a little too happily as he rinses down the dishes and loads the dishwasher.

Simon just scoffs at you.

You glance at the time above the stove, disappointment settling deep in your chest. “Shit. I should get going.”

“I’ll get you a cab.” Simon offers automatically, reaching for his phone.

You shift side to side, twiddling your thumbs. “Y’know… we never finished the movie…”

Simon cocks and eyebrow. From the pleased smirk on his face you can tell he knows what you’re implying. He still patiently waits for you to say it out loud.

“Would, uh, would you want to exchange numbers? Maybe… meet up… again…?” Your voice is more timid than you’d like. This fear of rejection is new. Being rejected is nothing new for you, so why does it suddenly feel so high stakes with this one guy you barely know?

You don’t miss the way his eyes light up ever so slightly at the question. “I’d love to.”

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convoloutedinjoke · 1 year

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This is maybe a bit of projection that is telling in all the least flattering ways but fuck it w/e, I think a breakthrough moment in postcanon Kim/Harry relationship functionality would be Harry having an epiphany like "ohhhhh. I don't HAVE to strategically manipulate him into accommodating my needs I can just TALK to him." after spending a couple months jumping through hoops and lying up a storm in order to like. not mention that some kinds of sex are scary and his joints start to hurt if they cuddle in the wrong position for too long. lol lmao etc.

#once again not tagging this because I am in the twee characterisation zone #but if uuuuh if I may be crunge for one moment #if you can but spare me another moment of your time #harriers be masking #for a variety of reasons #(note: the expression the copotypes the skills themselves especially drama and suggestion and savour fare)#(sidebar within a sidebar: not to autism all over this guy but others have noted the style of pretty much all prose happening in his head #is very self-critical and unforgiving. and in light of that I would like to direct attention to two of those being referred to and being #“good for” psychopaths and sociopaths #in light of everything else this really feels like just another facet of his feeling divorced from/unworthy of “normal” people!#like. thinking of yourself as a sociopath for having to manually interpret and react to social signals is!!! anyway)#the mask is on good and hard and its there for a reason but its also pretty indiscriminate about who it gets deployed on #(thinks about Harrys brain dora saying he cant “talk like a normal person”#did they ever fight about that? or is this more internalised self-hatred filtered through an attempt to understand what made her leave?)#anyway hes in the habit of Manipulating his way into getting what he needs from people #because being honest hasn't worked out so hot for him #like its been talked about a lot already but he calls the people who are supposed to be his backup and they take the piss out of him for #almost dying. how do you think they'd react to him asking for disability accommodations?#(not well. that was rhetorical.)#but hes alive and not as unwell as you might expect given literally everything he has going on #so he's finding a way to be accomedated somehow #and he is canonically prone to manipulation #im not saying that as a dunk! he just is and it doesnt have to be read as an unforgivable flaw #most of what he does with it is like. Fine.#but its there #ok idk where im going with this anymore im. very dehydrated #post over ogoodninght

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milaisreading · 4 months

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Meet the boyfriend

Pairing: Leonardo Luna x Itoshi sister!Yn

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Yn is here like 24 or 25 years old. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

"Leonardo Luna!!" The blonde flinched from his spot on the couch. (Y/n) wasn't one to yell at him, or anyone as far as he could remember, but when she did it was the scariest experience in his life.

"Yes?" He smiled nervously as (Y/n) walked into the living room, looking pissed at the Spaniard.

"What time is it?" She asked as Luna looked at his phone.

"Like, 10 in the morning."

"And you didn't bother waking me up? You said you would. We are supposed to meet Sae and Rin in an hour."

"In my defense I tried to wake you up, but you sleep like a rock. I tried waking you up for 20 minutes and then gave up." Luna said, raising his arms defensively as (Y/n) stared at him for a moment and growing flustered by his words. She did believe him that one, her parents and brothers did tell her the same thing in the past.

"I am sorry for yelling at you like that. I am just stressed." (Y/n) sighed in defeat as Luna pulled her down to the couch, hugging her right after.

"What's wrong, mi vida? You are never like this?" Came his worried response right after. (Y/n) kept quiet for a moment, unsure how to formulate her thoughts the best. This meeting was very important to her, after all, her brothers are very protective of her, even if they were younger.

"It's just that this whole you meeting my brothers thing is stressing me out. You guys aren't on the best terms, and I fear how Rin might react. Sae might take it better but I don't think he will try to calm Rin down-"

Before she could continue her ramble, Luna moved closer and kissed her. This surprised her, but she quickly recovered and kissed him back. The two parted after a minute and Luna gave her a warm smile, pulling her into a hug.

"It will be alright. I love you,and you love me. Whatever the two say won't bother me much."

"It won't?" (Y/n) hummed as Luna chuckled a little.

"I play football for a living. I hear insults on the field and critics all the time. Don't worry. But, I doubt they will say much, at least not in front of you." The older Itoshi moved away from the Spaniard, confused by his statement. But, just before she could answer the question, Luna decided to answer it for her.

"They love you, a lot. So I doubt they will say anything that might upset you, in front of you. I think the lunch will go well." Luna said simply, but it didn't help her at all.

"But they will still insult you when I am not there-"

"As I said, I heard worse on the field."

"How are you so relaxed?" She mumbled, pinching Luna's cheek as the blonde laughed.

By the time the two arrived at the restaurant, they were late by a good 20 minutes. Although Luna reassured her that everything will go well, her nerves were still all over the place. Sensing her uneasiness, Luna gave her hand a gentle squeeze, causing the girl to smile at him before looking for her brothers.

'It will go well.' She took a deep breath as she finally found the 2 sitting in a corner.

"Leo, I found them."

"Let's go then." He said casually as he finally spotted the younger two, pulling (Y/n) towards them.

"Sae, Rin, sorry for being late." (Y/n) finally spoke up as they approached their table.

"It's ok, big sis. We just came here as well-" Sae stopped talking as his eyes landed on Luna's form, then they fell onto their hands. Rin, who needed a good minute to connect the dots cleared his throat and spoke up.

"So, this is the guy you are seeing?" He asked coldly, causing (Y/n) to flinch and Luna to chuckle a little.

"S-surprise." She stuttered out as Luna kissed her cheek.

"Leo." (Y/n) looked at him in shock as her brothers yelled at him.

"Hands off!"

"Don't kiss her so casually."

'Most awkward lunch...' (Y/n) thought as she looked at their glaring figures.

#bllk #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock scenarios #itoshi sister #leonardo luna #bllk leonardo #blue lock leonardo #leonardo luna x reader #sae itoshi #itoshi rin

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wolven91 · 8 months

Text

'I fixed it'

Ulfric stared at the hodgepodge of taped wires and jerry-rigged mechanical parts with a critical eye. It sort of looked like it would work? It gets a bit fuzzy in the middle, but his gut told him 'maybe' with a positive inflection.

He wanted to spit at the whole thing. To swear at it and curse the designer of the damned thing. The human didn't like how his work had turned out; it wasn't pretty nor, was he confident he'd done everything right. Theoretically the engine would come back to life if he understood how it all worked.

Problem was he didn't though. This was all alien tech; everything was alien tech! Human stuff was always behind! But even alien tech was supposed to comply with physics, so he did what he thought was right.

The ship he was on was supposed to be a 'simple' 'off the rack' skiff ship that could make it from one planet to another in less than a day. Not only had the jump drive catapulted him and his fellow passenger way past their target, but they were also floating alarmingly fast away from the system.

Sure, it had emergency beacons and SOS systems, it advertised that 'everyone found was saved' with its life preservation tech.

"Found." Ulfric stated with sarcasm. "Everyone found..."

If they weren't found, then sure, this shit craft's designer could keep saying that.

"How is it looking?" Asked a delicate voice from the cockpit.

The hornless taurian, who called himself; Yasil, appeared in the doorway, holding himself against the frame. Ulfric avoided the odd creature's gaze. Ulfric had been a rough man before the Earth 'thing', but now he was stuck in close proximity to this... delicate alien guy... 'Focus on the engine Ulfric', his mind supplied.

"Well. I think it might work, we have enough conventional fuel to turn up back the way we came, then we can try and jump." Ulfric said, scratching at the back of his scalp. He didn't know about male taurians and their demeanour, so once they were introduced to one another, the alien wasn't what he was expecting.

When Ulfric saw a bull coming towards him, horns or no horns, the human had thought he was going to be sharing with a man who could shoot the shit, but instead, every attempt to connect with the usual conversation points had fallen flat.

So, bored as he was, Ulfric changed tactics. They were stuck like this for at least a day, the human wasn't going to spend that silent.

Ulfric was rough, but he wasn't without a little game.

He turned on the charm.

An hour into their journey he'd turned the attempts at idle conversation into discussions on a far less superficial level. He didn't have a set plan or 'topic' it was simply a matter of listening out for what someone reacted to, what they wanted to or enjoyed talking about, if they wanted to talk at all.

Thankfully, it seemed the bull wanted to talk, and the topic was him. Or rather Humans.

Ulfric wasn't opposed to talking about humans, but he hated talking about himself. So, he answered the alien's questions, at least until the cockpit readouts went dead anyway.

They both had watched as the two of them fell out of a structured jump into 'real' space. They then had watched helplessly as their target planet sailed happily by while they travelled near close to light speed through the system. They got 'lucky' by not having anything in front of them while traveling this way.

By the time Ulfric had gotten through the sealed door into what amounted to an engine room, and then figured out which bit had done what, they were too far away for the general communications array to be of any use. Still, at least Ulfric could be useful now, well... either useful or both of them would be lost to the void forever.

What followed was multiple hours of swearing, sweat and the breaking of several noncritical machines and furniture to fix the busted, stupid, ridiculously crappily built engine.

The human created something akin to art. Only not.

His new engine was the opposite to art.

It was a monster, and he was the new Frankenstein.

Using the attitude adjustors, Ulfric changed their yaw and roll. They pointed at the slowly shrinking planet they wanted, or roughly where it was going to be in the near future.

"What now?" Asked the bull, nervous in tone, but hopeful as he looked longingly at the human.

"Now. I kick start this mother." Ulfric said, getting up from his seat and readying his kickstart. "You holding onto the controls? Like I showed you? This is going to shake and judder something rotten."

"I got it." The taurian announced with a nod and a firm grip of the controls.

With a nod, Ulfric, with everything he had. With every ounce of hatred he had for this machine; he kicked the engine as hard as he could.

--- 0 ---

Ulfric stood in front of the spaceport's lead engineer. An ursidain covered in grease and other stains kept glancing from him, back to the craft that she had just appeared from. His craft, at least his engine anyway.

She was currently staring at his monster with a flabbergasted expression and kept glancing back at him before returning to the engine.

"You should be dead." She stated firmly.

"Well I'm not, I need to know why it failed so we can sue!" Shouted the shorter bull beside him. Choosing to ignore the fact the larger ursidain was speaking to the human. He wasn't a large taurian, nor did the young bull come across as an aggressive sort, but god help the poor soul that stood between him and justice. Ulfric never cared much for causing a scene, but the taurian had assured him that if they could remain in contact, justice would be had! Oh sure, they might get a few credits, but if they prevented the company from doing this again; they'd save lives!

Ulfric didn't mind either of those outcomes and he was starting to like the little taurian. All that pomp and show was just that, a show. He had a mouth on him!

"No I mean; this isn't possible! It shouldn't have worked! You've combined. plasma and pure oxygen!"

"I needed a combustion source."

"Thats. not. you." She tried to grasp his logic, but failed as the idea of using this method as a combustion source was suicidal.

She blinked, smoothed the thick fur on top of her head back, pulling the hair bobble from her wrist and tied the fur on the top of her head back with it.

"So. why is there no core then? How did you jump, without a core?"

"We ejected it."

"Was it damag-"

"And detonated it."

"You-"

"And rode the wave back."

The large bear alien stood back up right and stepped carefully away from the machine.

"I'm not touching this. Someone call for containment breach clear up."

#conservationverse #cuddleverse #haso #hfy #humans are space orcs #human #furry #human x furry #taurian #minotaur

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lovedrruunk · 1 month

Note

Hi! I saw that you were taking requests! Is it alright if I can request venture with reader that loves placing kisses all over their face? Hopefully this is alright with you if not feel free to ignore this!

'Kisses galore ⊹.(⸝⸝ ˆ ³(⁎˃ ᴗ ˂⁎)˚.

Venture (Overwatch x GN reader)

[Established relationship!]

Authors note!!! (;° ロ°); third....venture.... post......I have like 5 posts in total... well anyways!!! idc cuz i luv them! and i love YOUUUU AHH tysm for requesting this it was super fun to write i hope u like it !!!! also sorry its pretty short! I kinda wrote it on a whim wanting to post it before I went out so its not proof read either (Im actually so late rn its not even funny okay srsly gtg bye!)

Y’know that one tiktok trend that was popular last year where someone would be reapplying lipstick and then the camera would turn and its their s/o covered in kisses yea yea that’s just you guys all the time lol

In the beginning of your relationship they’d get all flustered and have this goofy grin on their face whenever you’d smother their face in kisses. Oh? And how do they react now? The exact same! Literally nothing has changed since the first time you’ve kissed them, they still giggle and look away. No matter how long its been they just can’t seem to get used to your affection

They could be hit by a bus going 200mph, in critical condition and one kiss on the nose from you would get them up and doing a little jig going yippee!

They might pretend to be annoyed or irritated but really that's just because they love playful banter and it’s pretty obvious how they feel about your kisses by the way they laugh and refuse to let you pull away

Their favorite moments with you are when you're laying over them somewhere enjoying each others company with your hands on their cheeks and your lips all over their face

They're pretty ticklish overall so kiss sessions usually turn into laughing fits

Although 99% of the kisses you share are all in good fun there are those times when they're sad or angry and you're kisses can't help but feel a bit more intimate and loving (please kiss their tears away!!!)

They appreciate you so much like they literally can't get enough of you. They cherish every kiss like it's the first and definitely act like it too. If you tell them they're blushing they'll deny it with their whole chest meanwhile looking like 🟥

“Augh! You’re suffocating me!” You and Sloane had been neglecting all your duties for the day in order to lay on the couch and bathe in the warm sunlight seeping through the windows. You both had been watching some random brainrot on their phone when you got bored and decided to pounce on them planting loving kisses all over their face. "Oh shut up" you playfully roll your eyes as you kiss them on the lips this time.

"One of these days I'm gonna die and you'll regret not listening to me" "Boo hoo" you giggled at their melodramatics deciding to pull away from them, but before you could you felt their hands tighten around you holding you in place.

"I mean... Dying in your arms doesn't sound so bad..."

"Yea yea whatever" You mumble happily as you lean down again pressing a kiss to their cheek.

#venture x reader #this was cute #im actually happy w it!!!#venture overwatch #overwatch x reader

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mrghostrat · 5 months

Text

OK IM ANSWERING ASKS!! open for some delightful streamer au headcanons

Anonymous asked:

ohh y'all mentioned how crowley / aziraphale would react to edits and ... oh god the chaos of a media share stream crowley would ABSOLUTELY be swarmed with simping clips, no matter how good he thinks he is at copyright striking oh and song requests after singing reveal oh ANDDD things in French that are just. vile (complementary) he would probably not do media shares for a looooooong while after that lmao

this has such chat jukebox energy oh my god. i love media streams, they're insanity, which makes them perfect for crowley.

and poor sod, when he finally thinks he's escaped the last of the simp clips, chat starts sending him seemingly "innocuous" songs to play. good old fashioned lover boy. pale blue eyes. a nightingale sang. HMMM there seems to be a theme here........

@genderlessjacky asked:

okay okay "How Long Can We Protect Aziraphale From Dying game" is amazing , love it , no criticisms at all . but what if we go the other way Aziraphale is a GOD at COD or Halo or whatnot lets just say before he became a cozy streamer , he used to play like a crapton of shooter games when he was younger or when they came out and played them for YEARS in his younger ages until he got bored and started baking and reading and stuff , discovered it was his passion and continues doing it , streams it ectect and when this happens everyone expects like "Omg he is gonna get killed in the first 5 seconds but ends up carrying the entire team to victory and everyone is like "WHAT." so confused that this innocent , plump old angelic man who cooks and reads and barates anyone who swears , got 20 kills in a row in COD?? while not swearing and barating anyone in chat who does?? is my life a lie???????? Bonus : Crowley , Anathama and Newton had no knowledge of this. at all. like he just assumed that they already knew he was really good at this and when they ask him ab it he goes like "hm? i thought you already knew?" and the others going "WELL CLEARLY NOT."

aziraphale is a man of many talents 😂 i personally can't picture him enjoying games that revolve around killing and hurting people, but i love when he can constantly surprise everyone and crowley with out of pocket talents and hobbies ehehehe

Anonymous asked:

I would like to suggest the Western Hognose as a most patient and cuddly snake to be delivered during snake delivery, they are funky little tubes with no neck and cute upturned snoots

UGH THEY'RE SO CUTE I WANNA KISS EM. i drew crowley's snake as a big black python but now i can't stop imagining him with a little guy that hides up his sleeve while he games and is small enough that people might not notice it immediately......... aziraphale's hand reaching into frame with a guy wrapped around it, and they just kind of sit there half holding hands while they wait for the snake to slither from one wrist to another.

Anonymous asked:

Your art inspires a hc…. Someone (Crowley, probably) gets Aziraphale a pair of purple round glasses and when the do streams together they match

omg aziraphale with blue light glasses that look like his little reading glasses from the show 🥺

@samsteacup asked:

So Streamer AU won't leave my mind. So I gotta share this. I understand if you don't put it into your ff, it's your story but your followers might enjoy it. :D 1. Aziraphale collaborates in Crowley's stream where they wanna play a game. (some shooter) and they set up Aziraphale character together but Aziraphale spends way too long to perfect him. Crowley is all patient and all and then when they start playing Aziraphale just can't handle the controls for the love of god. So Crowley helps him and it's a fucking disaster, he's furiously protecting Aziraphale in game while simultaneously trying to explain to him what to do. But Crowley is incredibly patient, even when they lose because Aziraphale accidentally shoots someone from their own team. The chat loses it because he usually is so short tempered in streams. Aziraphale is still a bit overwhelmed and frustrated that he completely ignores the chat. Which is good because people are shipping them to death and writing the wildest (naughtiest) theories of what already happened to make Crowley so gentle and patient. So Crowley just bans them all. 2. Another collaboration but this time on Aziraphale's channel. They are baking Christmas cookies together while talking about the holidays, gift buying, songs and other cute traditions/Christmas memories. While preparing the dough Crowley is a bit too aggressive while kneeding the wet with the dry ingredients and he gets a cloud of flour into his face. Aziraphale chuckles and cleans his face with some wash cloth. They continue baking and having a great time. Though Crowley constantly steals the leftover dough from Aziraphale, after he punches out the forms with the cutter. While waiting for the cookies to bake and cool, they start making the icing and drink wine. Crowley kinda overdoes it with the wine and gets a bit tipsy. So at some point he just dips his finger in icing and holds it to Aziraphale's face, who gets all flustered but eventually eats the icing of Crowley's finger. (Which will definitely not end up a GIF that forever haunts both of them in their streams) When they finally start icing the cookies, Crowley is not just tipsy anymore but properly drunk. So half of the Santa cookies get penises or boobs or both. And Aziraphale just rolls his eyes, says "You're being silly" (yes, exactly in that voice!) and takes away the wine from Crowley.

what the fuck im so FED

crowley switching on his patience to help aziraphale in a new situation like 😭 "i won't leave you on your own"

IT SOUNDS LIKE CROWLEY JUST STRAIGHT UP FORGETS THEY'RE LIVE and gets caught up just havin a fun time oh my lord!! 😭😭😭

@squirrellegion26 asked:

hiiiiii hi hi SIR IM ADDRESSING UR STREAMER AU. im in love with itttttt buttt what if what if what if crowley’s head pops up in one of azi’s streams like a frickin cat over the counter and chat is like “ohhh myyy goodness he’s adorable!!!” and azi’s like “oh, hello, my dear” and then crowley’s like “see ya peace” and then slinks back to whatever dark hole he slithered out of anyway SO MUCH LOVE TO UR AU I LOVE IT I CANT WAIT UNTIL UR FIC COMES OUT I LOVE U OKAY BYR

thpfht it's giving

Anonymous asked:

I just found your good omens streamer au and I'm instantly obsessed, I love the concept and ideas so much. This scenario instantly came into my head aswell and I wanted to share!! Like Crowley just did a really long stream and wants to go sleep and doesn't end up fully stopping the stream by accident, so the viewers see him after he thinks he ended stream and he just calls out "Angel, I need hugs now" and just walks off without knowing the stream is still going. And everyone in chat goes crazy trying to let anyone know the stream is still going but also with the fact they saw Crowley switch to his soft side so quickly!! And either Anathema calls Crowley to tell him it's still going and he runs back cursing to turn it off... OR...Aziraphale goes into the room to maybe collect the mug of coffee he made for Crowley and finds the stream still going and the chat going MAD over it trying to get his attention but also freaking out that it's Aziraphale.

oh lord have mercy on m for all this second hand anxiety but

you GOT ME with the mask switching from streamer mode to soft tired angel hugs mode, i'm punching myself in the face

i imagine that footage of aziraphale walking onto crowley's room for mug collection is like cryptid footage that occasionally circulates the gossip subreddits even after crowley has deleted the vod

Anonymous asked:

i literally just found your streamer AU and i have read EVERY MORSEL YOU HAVE ABOUT IT. i am so excited to read the fic when you’re finished with it! all i can think about is Aziraphale sliding things under Crowleys door if its locked while he’s streaming. and its the most random things every time, and of course it gets turned into a compilation posted somewhere. i just think that idea is silly. AGAIN I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS AND EVERYTHING YOU SHARE ABOUT IT!! 💕

hthfph THANK YOU FOR SHARING HEADCANONS i mean it, it's so fun and silly and i love that everyone is getting into this together ✨

#ineffable streamers #ask a rat

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devildomwriter · 6 months

Text

Horror Movie Marathon: They React to The Strangers

Lucifer

• He praises the tension set up wordlessly at the beginning of the movie. You can tell something happened before it’s more strongly implied she denied a proposal.

• He grins at the first knock assuming things will become more intense and he is 100% right. The tension increases and he enjoys watching the spiral of the two characters and the paranoia build.

• He likes how the camera angles change to feel like you’re the stranger in the home.

• He doesn’t jump scared but laughs imagining how scared Mammon would’ve been. He’s hoping you’ll get jump scared and cling to him more.

• As soon as they try running to the car he knows it’s about to get intense and sets the popcorn down to pay closer attention.

• He applauds the writing and the choice not to show the strangers’ faces even when they remove the masks.

• He believes the ending could’ve done without the jump scare as he thinks both characters should be explicitly dead after all the tension built up to the killing.

Mammon

• He hates feeling the awkwardness in the beginning. Feels bad for the guy. Imagine learning the person you want to spend your life with, isn’t ready to spend it with you. That scares him for other reasons.

• The first knock on the door and he’s already scared but he thinks it’s just a random person at the wrong home and he’s dead wrong about it.

• When the person comes back and he sees the scary mask he freaks out. He freaks out even more when he sees the man is now somehow in the home and then the woman’s phone disappears.

• He’s just as paranoid as the characters in the movie.

• He assumes things will be fine when the man grabs a gun but he was wrong and it somehow continues to get worse and he’s holding you tighter every time and lying about not being scared.

• He’s fucking screaming when they get into the home and he has his eyes covered as they’re stabbed to death.

• The Strangers explanation for killing them is even worse and he keeps texting Lucifer to make sure the door is locked for weeks to come.

Leviathan

• He’s thankful for the first knock because it interrupts a sex scene and he was not prepared to watch that with you right next to him.

• He enjoys the intense build-up and paranoia and compliments the camera work and the angle choices for building tension.

• He feels really bad for the people not just because someone is trying to kill them but because people suck and their safe space has been invaded.

• He’s actually shaken when his best friend is mistakenly shot. He feels bad for the guy and the friend. He can’t imagine what he’d do if he accidentally hurt you.

• He’s trying to calm his nerves by eating lots of popcorn but it’s not working because it goes flying when the break-in occurs

• He critiques all their choices and tells you the best way to defend your fort. He was an admiral in the Celestial Realm and is now one in hell so he knows what he’s talking about.

• He approves of how brutal they are with the death, they didn’t cut corners. He did not appreciate the jump scare at the end.

Satan

• He’s intrigued as soon as it begins, he appreciates showing not telling in movies

• He’s theorizing all the different ways things might happen and begins wondering if the camera angle really does mean someone is watching from behind.

• When things start to go missing, his detective skills kick in and he tells you how they could’ve snuck around

• Things quickly escalate after the next few knocks and he tells you all the ways you could prevent this in the future and then realizes the House of Lamentation doesn’t have those methods and is lost in thought

• He thinks the acting is really well done and sees the movie more as a critic than as an audience member.

• Hearing the girl say “Next time it’ll be easier” has him pretty excited for potential sequels and hooks him even more at how little the strangers care about what they’ve done

Asmodeus

• He’s disappointed the sex scene got interrupted because he knows it’s just downhill after that first knock on the door.

• The masks freak him out. How ugly does someone have to be to wear a weird mask?

• He’s mad the guy doesn’t believe his girlfriend at first because the knocks were so loud and why would she make that up?

• Finally the masks come off but their “ugly faces” aren’t even shown and he feels like that’s even worse because it could be anyone but he’s distracted from this thought when they are stabbed and he lets out a high-pitched shriek.

• Thinks that was an awful ordeal but the strangers saying there will be a next time makes it worse. The little boys they passed by didn’t even realize these were the culprits so they’ll just get away. He’s super mad about it.

• He’s super popular and doesn’t mind attention but the movie made him secure his bedroom a bit more—from everyone but you

Beelzebub

• Like whenever he sits down for a movie he’s just eating the popcorn and other food assortments. He’s loud enough that subtitles are needed until the louder parts.

• He doesn’t really get the first part of the movie until it’s spelled out for him and then he feels bad for the guy.

• Now he’s just kinda sad until the knock happens and he drops some popcorn. He’s not scared it just surprised him.

• He is visibly anxious on behalf of the couple as the film progresses. He shakes his head whenever they leave the house and he’s pretty upset when the people successfully break in.

• He’s as close to you as he can be because he can’t imagine if you were in a home invasion like that.

• He can’t believe how callously the strangers behave and that they might do it again and no one even knows who they are.

• At first he’s worried the little boys would be killed too but is relieved they are okay.

• He enjoys the movie but doesn’t get the cinematic talent

Belphegor

• He’s all on board for this movie because it means he can snuggle you.

• Snuggling is a tad awkward in the first scene so no one says a word which is why he nearly falls asleep but the knock wakes him with a startle as much as the main characters

• He calls them stupid for almost every decision they make, even the smart ones.

• “Dumbass…” he says when the man accidentally kills his best friend. “Look before you shoot.” Which is valid but the guy was paranoid so it’s understandable.

• He can’t believe after the disaster of trying to get to the car that they’d run outside toward a barn and forest, they’re just asking to be killed.

• He doesn’t react to their deaths, he saw it coming a mile away.

• He enjoys the tension of the movie and the interesting narrative but it’s not one he’s dying to rewatch.

Solomon

• He loves horror movies so he’s excited to watch. Normally he’s down for more gore but he’s okay with the slower opening as long as it adds to the story and it does.

• He laughs at the masks and now he sort of wants one but only because he knows Mammon watched the movie too and he’d love to scare him a bit.

• He’s always asking for your opinion on what they do next and why you think that is as if he’s giving you a psychology quiz.

• He also asks you what spells you’d use to defend against an unknown intruder but eventually all the questions stop when it gets to the climax and he pays much closer attention.

• He enjoys the gore but he especially enjoys the most unforgettable line “Because you were home”

• He tells you not to worry as he’s far stronger than any intruder might be and you’re safe with him.

Simeon

• Not a fan of horror he’s trusting your judgment on the movie and so far it’s okay. He’s a little uncomfortable with the almost-sex scene but thankfully it’s interrupted.

• He thinks it’s just a lost stranger but nope, it’s one of THE strangers and she keeps coming back. He finally realizes she’s a bad guy, and so is the other one with the mask.

• He thinks it’s a great idea to get to the car and leave but things don’t work out that way.

• “Oh dear…” he says several times as things keep getting worse.

• He gasps when the friend is accidentally killed and wonders why you wanted to watch such a tragic movie.

• He’s still under the assumption there will be justice so when the couple is stabbed to death he’s in shock. He’s in more shock when the strangers leave like nothing happened and plan to do so again.

• They then have the nerve to say they only sin sometimes. That gets to Simeon and he wants them to pay but the movie ends and he’s surprised you’d watch something this bleak.

• He kind of wants to watch the sequel, maybe this time things will go better.

Raphael

• Not a movie he’d watch unless it was suggested but he’ll watch it. He always pays very close attention to detail.

• He immediately deduces the awkward situation with the couple and why it’ll play a party in the movie.

• When the camera angle changes he tries to figure out where the strangers could be hiding in the house and how they got in without anyone noticing

• He knows why the girl knocks too, he’s seen all kinds of weird things while working down in the human world.

• When they use a shotgun he kindly informs you a spear would be more efficient and why…in detail.

• He’s worried for the two boys handing out fliers and mad when the woman says she only sins sometimes right after mentioning they’d do it again

• He’s a little surprised by the jump scare at the end but just shakes his head in response.

• He enjoyed the movie but you have to endure a safety seminar afterwards.

Thirteen

• She’s just hoping for some prank ideas when she sat down to watch a home invasion movie, she didn’t think it was gonna be super serious but the first few minutes dampened the mood.

• She laughs when the tension builds and points out things you wouldn’t have noticed. She makes the connections very quickly about everything that’s been changed and misplaced

• Keeps telling them to grab the gun and when they actually do she knows it’s not gonna work or it wouldn’t be in the movie.

• She likes the idea of the anonymity of the Strangers and keeps telling them they had a good idea when they find another way to scare the couple

• She was hoping they wouldn’t be killed like that but figured it was coming. She thought it was very creative to just be stabbed but “Oh well”

• Thinks the strangers’ response to breaking in was spooky

Mephistopheles

• He thinks the directing was good and likes how solemn the atmosphere feels before the horror has even begun

• He thought the first knock would begin things and shook his head when they answered the door. It threw him off a little but then he saw the man inside and was startled though he denies it.

• Recommends they not leave in the car and laughs triumphantly that he was correct in assuming it’d go horribly

• He’s shocked at the brutality of the strangers and is slightly disappointed he didn’t get to see their faces but appreciates the “directing of it all”

• He believes their response “because you were home” hits the point of the movie Home even more about senseless violence and acting on opportunity

• Laughs that the little religious boy got scared by a dread woman

Barbatos

• He correctly guesses things that are going to happen long before they do starting with the phone call to the best friend and it’s amazing how detailed about it he can go without using his powers.

• He feels awkward just watching the couple in the home prepared for a more festive occasion when it is not

• He likes that the angle of the cameras changed to make it look like you are the one inside the house and he tries to stop himself from guessing more things and spoiling it for you by eating more popcorn.

• nothing startled or scared him but he says “oh my” a lot.

• He thinks the shotgun is a great solution but already guessed how that would go wrong so he does not react other than shaking his head when the friend is mistakenly killed

• He thinks the deaths could’ve been more brutal considering it’s a horror movie but the responses given by the stranger make up for it as they’re rather chilling

Diavolo

• He immediately feels bad for the relationship turmoil the couple is going through before anything bad even begins to happen

• He knew the first girl at the door was going to be trouble.

• When the camera angels change and appear behind the characters as if following him he’s already on the edge of his seat

• The loud knocks surprise him each time and he squeezes your hand a little harder

• He knew they wouldn’t escape and when the gun went off he just knew it was going to be the friend instead. He shakes his head, he couldn’t imagine what he’d do in that position

• He expected their deaths but he’s nonetheless taken aback at the brutality of the strangers especially when their explanation is “because you were home” chills.

• He got jump scared at the end.

• Suddenly he’s replacing and reinforcing the locks in the castle as if someone like him could be hurt by a group of masked strangers

#obey me request #obey me headcanons #obey me movie marathon #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me solomon #obey me thirteen #obey me simeon #obey me raphael #obey me mephistopheles #obey me barbatos

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dyns33 · 5 months

Text

Communication issues

A little Shane x female reader, without any zombies

Y/N quickly told Lori about it, because she didn't know how to talk to Shane about it without him taking it the wrong way.

Shane often took things the wrong way. Oh, he wasn't yelling at her, he wasn't hitting her, but he was reacting like a stupid child, not listening, not trying to understand, just feeling criticized and attacked, and preferring to run away to the bar for hours, before coming back to finally hear what she wanted to say to him.

It would have been the same for this subject, if not worse. Because sex was obviously a very important subject to Shane.

So important that they had been fucking at least three times a day since they met, which was almost a year ago.

Y/N wasn’t complaining. Not complaining at all. Shane was a very gifted, very considerate lover. But this limitless libido was starting to tire her a little, and above all to intrigue her.

Completely honest, he had told her about all his previous relationships, even the one that had only lasted one night. There had been many. He started very young.

It might have seemed stupid, but Y/N wondered if it meant something, if Shane didn't have a problem. Maybe he was repressing things, maybe he was looking for some form of affection, maybe there was a hormonal problem.

It wasn't mean, she was just worried about him. And as she knew he wouldn't understand, she spoke about it to Lori, who looked at her with wide eyes.

"… Three times per day ?"

“Is that the only one you remember from what I just said? ”

"Three times per day."

"Yes. And I'm not complaining ! If I tell him no, Shane doesn't force me either, but he goes into the bathroom and stays there for a very long time, if you know what I mean. You think that he has a problem ? Maybe he should see a doctor ? To talk, or get some medicine."

“You want him to stop ?”

"No ! I just want to understand why he behaves like a rabbit in heat absolutely all the time, if it's normal or if it's something else. It's for his own good, you can't hear his heart beat super fast when he falls asleep."

Lori found her fears a little absurd, but adorable. She couldn't really help her, though, because her husband wasn't as productive, so she had no other point of comparison.

Her advice was to talk to Shane about it, or watch if he seemed to be having a heart attack mid-coitus.

Not finding the words to explain her apparently imaginary fears, Y/N opted for the second option and everything went well.

Until one evening when Shane returned from patrol, tired, visibly disturbed, and remaining in the hall while she was cooking.

"Shane ? Are you okay ?"

"… Yes."

"I'm doing some chili. I hope you're hungry. How was your day ? Did you catch any bad guys ?"

"No, calm day. I'm going to take a shower, baby."

This was normal. Shane always took a long shower after his work. This time it was a little long, but that wasn't the problem.

The problem was that he hadn't kissed her when he arrived, he hadn't asked her to come with him, and he hadn't kissed her before leaving the room.

But Y/N didn’t say anything. He must have been tired.

They chatted for the rest of the evening, watched a movie together, and then it was time for bed, and normalcy was completely shattered, when Shane quickly kissed her on the forehead and wished her good night, before to lie down with your back to her.

He kissed her on the forehead, before turning his back ?

There were some nights where he didn't even wait for them to arrive in the room before throwing himself on her, his hands roaming her body, his lips never leaving her mouth. It could last for hours, and when they fell asleep, it was always in each other's arms.

Shane must have been really tired.

However, the night passed, and things did not return to complete normal. He still kissed her on the forehead the next day, wishing her a good day. He didn't hesitate when she told him he loved her, responding that he loved her too with a strange little smile.

He responded to her messages. He called her during his lunch break. In fact, he was doing absolutely everything as usual, except touching her.

Y/N decided that maybe he was sick. He had a fever, he was afraid of infecting her, and instead of talking to her, he kept his distance.

On the third day, she woke up alone in bed and found him asleep on the couch. Gently, she touched his forehead, perfectly normal, and she had to accept the truth.

Physically, Shane was fine. There was another problem.

They could have talked about it. At least try. But he was rarely there because of his work, and he hated communicating. Y/N had figured that out a long time ago. His actions always had to be deciphered, and his actions were clear.

He didn't love her anymore. He didn't know how to tell her, so he gradually moved away, until he wouldn't come home at all.

Like with a bandage, she could have forced him to tell her, so that he would end her suffering, but Y/N wanted him to stay as long as possible, so she said nothing, staying alone in their big cold bed, and accepting his quick kisses on her head.

The tears flowed on Sunday, during girls' night at Michonne. Her friends asked her if everything was okay, and she broke down.

"He's going to leave me…"

"What ?! No ! Shane adores you, I've never seen him so happy with anyone !"

"He doesn't touch me anymore. He sleeps in the living room."

"What a bastard ! Do you think he's cheating on you ?"

“Andrea, you’re not helping.” Carol sighed, stroking Y/N’s back. "He may have personal issues. Lori, does Rick know something about it ?"

"He didn't tell me anything. You know how men are, they don't talk or they talk too much. My husband is the first type of jerk."

Y/N continued to cry, leaving the others to debate about the men and the reasons that could push Shane to act like this.

Then she felt very tired, apologizing and saying she wanted to be alone. Leaving the girls in the kitchen, she went into the living room, sitting down in an armchair to think about all this.

Bangs against glass startled her. Looking up, she found Shane pressed against the window, staring at her with panicked eyes.

“Shane ?” she whispered, getting up to open it for him. "What are you doing here ?"

"Lori called Rick to tell him I'm a huge asshole."

"What ?"

He didn't give her time to continue, pressing himself against her as before, taking her to the bathroom without stopping kissing her. He looked like a hungry, desperate animal, unable to stop himself from touching her.

"Baby. My love… Do you know that I love you like crazy ?"

“It’s been pretty confusing for a week.”

"I know. Rick told me on Monday that I was stupid. I wanted to stop on Tuesday, but it started to feel like a gamble, so I continued."

"… What are you talking about ?"

So Shane explained to her. He explained to her that Lori had told her husband about her fears, and his best friend had told him about it.

Of course, as Y/N predicted, Shane took it a little badly. He didn't understand what she criticized about their pace of copulation, while he made a lot of effort not to stay in bed all day with her.

So he had an idea, a stupid idea. It couldn't have lasted more than a day, but he was going to go home and he wasn't going to do anything. He wasn’t going to touch her, and if Y/N wasn’t happy, then she would have to do the work.

But Y/N hadn’t done anything, because she had thought he was tired, and because she didn’t need sex all the time. This had frustrated him greatly. Disappointed. He had spent a lot of time alone with himself, even in the bathroom, in other rooms of the house, at work, in the street, wandering like a lost dog without his owner.

"Rick made fun of me, saying that I looked like a zombie the next day. That it was proof that you were right, that I was like an addict in withdrawal. So I kept going, to prove it wasn't true… Except it was kind of true. I couldn't stay in bed with you right next to me anymore. It was too hard."

“Because you love sex.”

"No. Because I love you. It's you, darling. As soon as I see you, as soon as I hear your laugh, when you say my name, when you touch me… I'm addicted to you. Before, I would find a girl every now and then, I liked to fuck, but it wasn't the same. With you… It's like breathing, you know ? Rick also made fun of me when I tried to explain it to him, saying that I was a romantic fool. I love it when we become one, and when I know I'm making you feel good. That's my way to.. You know."

“Oh, Shane.”

Since he wasn't good with words, Shane continued his grand declaration of love using his tongue differently, his hands sliding over her body like a poet writing verses, and he chanted her name over and over until what saw stars.

Andrea entered the bathroom after they had just finished. She looked at them before quickly closing the door.

"… Oops." Shane chuckled nervously as he put his pants back on.

"You're kidding me…"

"Maybe she didn't see us well. I can try to jump out the window and you return to the living room with your dignity."

“Andrea clearly saw us, and she probably already told the others everything.”

"Sorry baby, I was so focused on you, I didn't think to lock the door. I know you're modest."

He held her hand for her walk of shame into the hall. The girls were waiting for them there with slightly embarrassed smiles.

"Hey everyone. Michonne, nice bathroom." said Shane as if everything was normal.

“I’ll clean it up after the party.”

“You better, yes.”

“Shane…” Y/N muttered as she closed her eyes, her cheeks almost as warm as when they were in the bathroom.

"Okay, it's late. I'm working early tomorrow, so I'll leave you. Y/N, see you at home ? Have a nice evening."

He kissed her before leaving, as he always kissed her before leaving a room, without caring about their audience.

Y/N stayed in the middle of the room, biting her lips while stroking her hickey-covered neck, and avoiding the mischievous looks of her friends.

"It seems… It seems he doesn't want to break up with me."

"I knew it. He's just an idiot."

"A very gifted idiot, from what I've seen and heard."

"Andrea. Try to think before you speak."

She wasn't wrong, he was very talented, and he used his talents to communicate all his love with everything other than words, which wasn't always a good thing, but Y/N wasn't complaining.

Next time she would speak to him directly, even if he might sulk a little, because he would always come back to listen at the end.

#the walking dead #shane walsh #shane walsh x reader #shane walsh imagine #shane walsh fanfiction

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cellu-lightreading · 6 months

Text

Pure Greed

It was all a coincidence really. Jamie's friends took him on a vacation, and a few drunken afternoons produced a flurry of content of him shirtless on his socials. He was twerking on the beach and eating all kinds of food. As he watched it back, he was a little embarrassed. The internet isn't usually kind to guys like him with double chins that eclipse their necks and waistlines wider than adults are tall. When he checked his phone and saw that his phone was blowing up, he was nervous that trolls had come to attack him. That's not what he found.

Hundreds of likes materialized overnight with a comments section overflowing with support and love. Not exactly body positivity comments, more swarming sexual admirers. There were heart eyes and eggplants and peaches. They said they liked his soft gut and his giant dimpled ass. They were drooling over how much he could eat instead of criticizing all the junk he was stuffing in his mouth.

At breakfast, Jamie decided to share the phenomenon on his post. No one could quite explain how these legions managed to find him of all people, but one friend had one idea of why they were so obsessed with him.

"They're called feeders or encouragers." Brandon said "When they see a big fat guy not promising to lose weight, they're like moths to a flame. You filming yourself stuffing yourself is like porn to them."

"How do you know all of this?" Jamie asked.

"'Cause they swarm the comments of all my favorite fitness influencers going on a dirty bulk in the winter. They go rabid watching a dude's abs melt away for a few months and then get disappointed and disappear in the spring when it's time to cut. Actually, this is a pretty good opportunity for you if you play your cards right. These guys will literally throw money at you just for being fat. Now that they've slashed your hours at work, you can probably string these guys along to keep the bills paid."

"I don't know how I feel about selling my body."

"You're not exactly doing porn. You don't even really have to get naked. All you have to do is be fat and get fatter."

"Get fatter? I just clocked in at 375 the other week! I can't afford to get bigger!"

"Considering we're the ones paying for your stay this weekend, I'd argue that you can't afford not to get bigger."

A few days after getting home, Jamie decided to give making content a try. He wasn't really sure what to do so he started with something basic every influencer did nowadays: a get ready with me video. He started the video from bed, letting the people see him heave his body out from under the covers. He slept shirtless normally so that might be something. He showed himself buttoning up his uniform shirt around his large frame and hoisting his pants around his thighs. He got a little self-conscious thinking about the ways his clothes tended to get stuck around his folds and how tight they looked in places. He pushed the thought away and started on breakfast. Normally, he didn't eat all that much for breakfast, at least not compared to his other meals. He didn't really get that hungry in the morning, preferring to keep things simple with some toaster waffles and bacon. He thought half the box of waffles was pretty moderate considering how small they were; there were only ten in the box to begin with. After licking up the syrup, Jamie ended the video with a wave and a smile hoping he was enticing enough.

Jamie closed the app out and forgot about it. Work usually kept him very occupied, so there wasn't a lot of time to check his phone. It was only at the end of the day when he got a call from Brandon that he thought to open the app at all.

"I'm genuinely curious: you really call five waffles and half a pack of bacon a light breakfast?" he asked Jamie incredulously.

"Yeah? I'm usually not quite full after that."

"Oh it's no wonder they're reacting well to this."

"How well?"

"Like two thousand likes plus a never ending stream of comments."

"No way!"

"Yeah and this comments section...honestly is pretty obscene. I definitely feel like some of these would make you uncomfortable, but still no fatphobic trolls so that's a win. People are definitely fans of you. They think you are the sexiest thing ever."

"I still can't believe this is a thing."

"It is absolutely a thing and it is happening to you. Lots of people hoping you'll keep making content, and you're already getting people offering to pay for you to eat stuff. I honestly feel like you should show them what you normally eat before you do all that."

"But I'm hurting now. The cash would be good to have now. You have no idea what I can do with that kind of money."

"I think I’m starting to." He said to himself. Then he asked, "Aren't you the same guy who was nervous about putting yourself out on the internet?"

"I am, but $40 is $40. I go through a lot of money in food and things like that. It would be pretty neat if I really could get a little help around here."

"Well, how does this sound? Take the offer, go have a good time. Don't deny yourself anything for the next month. Every time you want something, have it. You don't have to push yourself, just show off your normal life- and get it on film."

Jamie accepted the challenge. He took pictures and videos of every time he ate. Within the first week, Brandon was shocked to find out just how much food went towards keeping Jamie as big as he was. When he said breakfast was light, he wasn't kidding. He was ingesting thousands of calories just from the vending machine while he worked at his desk. One night he ate an entire party-size lasagna by himself and then remarked that "he still had a little space left, maybe dessert would finally top him off." He went to his freezer, grabbed a pint of ice cream he filled with all sorts of treats and toppings and ate it until he was licking the container. The scariest part to Brandon was that most of his videos felt like a confessional; no one was supposed to know all the eating he does, especially not the people in his real life- i.e. Brandon. Jamie was increasingly comfortable admitting to his new internet friends all of his favorite treats and tricks. That's how Brandon found out people put crushed Doritos on pizzas.

By the time their little challenge was ending, Jamie was on camera complaining how his jeans were getting a little tight. When the two of them met up at a function for a mutual friend, the conversation quickly veered off toward their project.

"You know, I had a lot of fun following your advice in the last month. I don't know when was the last time I got to have so much fun guilt free."

"Really?" Brandon asked. He thought back to a video where Jamie went back to a restaurant after their friend group left to have a second round of food. "I'm glad you've got a new space to do that now."

"Yeah, and the fans are really getting into it. They've got all kinds of food suggestions and the money never stops pouring in. They've been really supportive.”

"Speaking of ‘supportive’, how to put this delicately, has it gotten any harder for some of the things around you to physically support you and your new hobby?"

"Is this your coded way of asking me if I gained weight?"

"Yeah, I'm trying not to be really rude about it in public."

"It's fine. But it has gotten a little harder to wear anything with buttons, nothing wants to close anymore. I've easily put on 15 pounds, maybe even a whole 20."

"20 pounds in a month is pretty fast."

"That's why I was so nervous to start this. My body is an expert at putting on weight."

"So I see. Do you think you'll cut back down to something a little more manageable or-"

"No, I don't think the fans will like that too tough. That's like the one thing that gets them really jumpy. Every time I bring up the word diet or cutting, the comments get flooded with messages about how beautiful I am at this size and begging me not to lose weight."

"And this doesn't concern you at all?"

"I mean at the end of the day, they are people on the internet and this is my body. I get the final say on decisions I make with my body. I can always just lose the weight, right?"

"But it doesn't bother you that people are begging you to get fatter?"

"Honestly, no." Jamie laughed. "Like it sounds weird, but I kind of enjoy it. I mean, look at me. With no extra effort on my part, I gained 20 pounds in a month. If I'm going to keep getting fatter, I might as well do it with people who appreciate me this way."

"If you say so. As long as you're okay with it."

"Yeah, it's fine. All this talking about the channel is making me hungry though and I know I smelled something good earlier. What do you say we check out the snack situation?"

Sooner than expected by all, Jamie was planning on celebrating his first gainer milestone- 400 pounds. Jamie was a little surprised at the number, but his reaction surprised himself more. For a while, the idea of reaching the 400s was enough to send him into a crash diet of nothing but carrots and celery for a couple of weeks until a strong craving hit him right when he was starving. His willpower would fall apart in dramatic style, and his weight would continue its upward trajectory. This time, Jamie accepted it. It was shocking to know he had reached it with so little effort on his part. He expected to reach the 400s in the holidays, not from an extra trip to the vending machine at work. In fact, he didn't feel that much bigger crossing over the line.

While Jamie might not be excited, his followers were very excited to get the news. They begged to see him step on the scale and watch the magic number appear and sent some extra money to celebrate the accomplishment.. When Jamie saw how big the donations were, he knew he had to try to do something special. He had exactly one idea, but it made him a little nervous.

"So to... celebrate 400 pounds, I thought I would treat you all to a little sneak peak behind the scenes of the real life behind the fat man. This stuff annoys me, but you all seem to love it so I think you'll have a fun time. These are 4 of my big fat problems."

Jamie started off by showing his followers the pile of clothes he couldn't bring himself to get rid of. Every article of clothing in the pile was something he had destroyed just from being too fat. Shirts with the buttons popped off, belts where the buckle had been torn off, pants where his thighs had worn down the fabric from rubbing together all the time while he was walking and waddling everywhere, and everything where a seam ripped in defeat from holding back too much fat. More embarrassing than how he knew he was never going to fit back in those sizes, was how he had destroyed those clothes so no one else would ever get to wear them either. Trying to get them fixed would mean admitting that he had done all that damage to these clothes. To complete the exercise, Jamie put on an outfit from the bottom of the pile that looked smaller than he last remembered. The sweatpants were once the pants when he was too bloated to fit his normal clothes until his thighs made a heart shaped hole around the crotch. Years later, he could hardly get them around his legs. The fabric still felt delicate around the inside of his thighs, thin enough that he could practically feel the skin on tthe other leg through his pants. When he made the mistake of reaching for a shirt on the ground, the pants ripped apart all the way up to his ass. Jamie decided that was enough.

Number 2 was in his dining room. Jamie had a set of chairs that used to be his favorites in the house. He keeps them hidden now because he had two of them collapse under his weight in one night in the middle of a party. He won't use any of them anymore to save himself the embarrassment of using a chair that doesn't match. It doesn't hurt that even if he wanted to sit in one now, the arms on the chair are so narrow that he wouldn't be able to fit his ass in between. Jamie knew his followers would want the painful proof, so he gently lowered his rear end into one. First came the pinch of the arms skewering his doughy flesh, but the more he tried to unload his body in the seat, the more the arms relented against his flesh until they snapped off. With the arms no longer in the way to help slow down the inevitable, all of Jamie’s body plopped in the chair. The chair immediately protested with a loud symphony of moans and creaks. Jamie thought he might be safe from the ultimate embarrassment. He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in the chair. Before Jamie could even process what was happening, the chair disintegrated into splinters underneath him.

Number 3 was deceptively simple: tying his shoes. It took so much effort to do every morning that Jamie actively dreaded the idea that they would get undone during the day. With a large gut permanently sitting in the middle of his body, reaching all the way around to his feet was a challenge. Every day he would try in vain to reach over his belly to tug on his shoes. Getting it done often required contorting his body into ridiculous shapes to bring his leg closer. When he was done, it often left him breathless and tired enough that he considered slides for the rest of his life.

The last segment of his video involved going jogging outside. In the early spring, the weather was a fairly mild temperature, but you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at Jamie. Jamie purposefully made it short- just one lap around his cul-de-sac. There was no delusion that he would go far when this would already be one of his longest runs in years. He recorded how his tits and ass and belly all bounced around with every footfall. By the time he was back at his house, Jamie was wheezing and panting. His shirt was wet all over and his face was drenched in sweat. Just a few yards had the ability to completely destroy him. With that, Jamie decided that he had enough.

Jamie posted and it was a runaway success. All around the clock, Jamie was getting comments online. They cheered him on and told him how beautiful they thought he was. They weren't afraid to tell him just how hot that video was to them. The more comments he read, the more assured he felt that he made the right decision. Why be ashamed of something that made everyone love him more? Maybe this was where he belonged all along. His followers tripled within two weeks. He promised his followers that he would eat whatever they paid for. Jamie tried to sweeten the pot for them too, "If you look back in the archive, you all can tell what kind of guy you're working with when I make promises like that. I eat all sorts of junk and stuff myself whenever I get a chance. I'm also probably not going to burn all of that exercising. If my last video didn't make it clear enough, cardio is not something that has a regular place in my life. So feel at ease, knowing your money is going to a very good cause." Jamie gave his stomach a couple of pats for the camera.

Suddenly, money started coming in like a water hose. Money was coming into his account, gift cards were getting sent to his email, and presents were showing up at his door. Jamie had full-on supporters now. They were all in, engaging with him whenever he wanted to be there. If he was considering being lazy or having a little extra dessert, someone was always there within seconds to tell him to do it. If he wasn't sure about finishing his meal, there was always a little encouragement waiting for him in his messages.

His new supporters also came with a bit more edge. They were more willing to speak their mind about the kinds of food he should be eating: fattier, more flavorful, more. They introduced him to shakes; they gave him new concoctions to try to actively help push a few more pounds onto his already very generous frame. It was a new step for him to take. All this time, he hadn't been trying to gain, the weight had found him from trying to have fun. This had all been an adventure in people enjoying who he already was. The last 25 pounds were already a big shock for him, what would happen if he really opened the floodgates and started actively gaining weight? What would people say?

Nothing he hadn't heard before, something deep inside told him. It was scary to admit, but people had been comfortable saying all kinds of crazy things to him about his size for a long time. 400 might have been a new threshold of big, but he'd been fat enough to draw the ire of folks for hundreds of pounds now. The stares, the jokes, the dire warnings of health concerns, and the snide remarks were already fixtures in his regular life. No one would care if he put on a little more weight, they had already written him off as fat. The only person's opinion that matters is his own...and he was having fun.

Jamie made a video taste testing some gainer shake recipes for the very first time. His mouth watered watching all these delicious ingredients get added to the blender. He chugged one after another before he came to the realization that each one of those glasses was the calorie equivalent of a full day's eating. "Maybe I overdid it," he admitted on camera. The comments assured him he was on the right path.

One evening a few months later, Jamie was meeting up with his friends to celebrate a birthday. He was trying to inhale the rest of the McDonald's he had picked up on the way in his car. When he heard a tap on his window, he was startled. Brandon was leering in. Jamie rolled down the window.

"Jamie, are you actually eating in the parking lot of a restaurant that you're about to enter?"

Jamie looked to the pile of food on the passenger seat and accepted lying was not an option. "Yes."

"Oh my God."

"Look, I know this isn't the best look, but I had to do something. My appetite has been growing a lot lately-"

"From the amount of stretching your stomach's been doing for the channel."

"-and I don't want to pig out at every meal that I have in public. I already eat more than everyone else, I don't need to keep adding fuel to the fire. You and I both know they really only tolerate all of this," Jamie jiggled his belly, "because we've been friends for such a long time."

"Yeah, but you've got to admit that this is getting out of hand. You've gained like a hundred pounds in the last year or so, and when you started this you were worried about how big you already were."

"But when I started this, I was also deeply insecure about the idea of even showing my body in public. Now I have people in my life who are genuinely excited about me doing the things I love the most and are happy to see me be me."

"I'm not sure this is you guiding you along. Feels a little more like the tail wagging the dog. "

"Brandon, you know my life better than anyone at this point. I want you to think back to my videos. Have you ever seen me this happy in my life?"

"No. I want to say I have, but I haven't."

"Exactly. Believe me when I tell you that I'm okay. I'm enjoying myself. I'm in control of the situation. I wouldn't still be doing this if I didn't like it."

"Okay, but I think you should know you're starting to get to the deep end of all this stuff. I'm not going to be able to help you so much as you keep growing."

Jamie didn't take that as a warning at the time. He was more than content to catch up on Brandon's life while he ate. He had dessert after dinner and a midnight snack. Jamie kept on, knocking back gainer shakes like it was water. The only thing that gave him pause came while he was on the watch out to hit 500. Jamie went to his manager after his desk chair broke in a second place in one month. It had been a bit of a fight to get them to give him a big and tall chair in the first place back when he was cresting 300 and breaking it was not going to lead to a pleasant conversation.

"Look, I understand that we live in a body positive society now and the company is really trying to work on being more inclusive, but this is too much. We can't keep doing this. It might be easier to swallow the fact that you are now too big for a big and tall chair if it wasn't clear to everyone that you're also spending more time eating in your work day than actually working. Every paper that crosses your desk leaves with crumbs and grease stains and your numbers are slipping to the point that you're now last in the division. It's time for you to go."

Suddenly, Jamie was back in a crisis all over again. This time, though, he already had a lifeline. Donations had reached a fever pitch in the past few weeks and it was only going to keep increasing. The only real problem was that Brandon wasn't going to be able to help him find a new avenue to expand his business. Jamie turned to his followers, telling them all of his woes with the hope a savior would emerge.

He got another warning in his direct messages from another gainer. "Be careful what you wish for. The bigger you get, the more you're going to find people who are serious about this. The dark end of this community will drag you in if you're not prepared to handle it. There are guys who will keep pitching in with a meal or two, and guys who will take over your life."

That was what we had in mind when he met with Tom. Tom was a slender man who wore a dark suit and a sly smile. Tom had watched his videos since the very beginning. The bigger he got, the more active he had become in the comments.

"It's such a pleasure to get to meet you in person. I wish it was under different circumstances."

'Well these don't have to be sad either.”

“I didn’t say they were sad; I only wish they were different. I think every man of your… stature should be excited by the prospect of leaving your job to spend the rest of your days eating and having a good time.”

“Well I don’t know if it’ll be the rest of my days.”

“I can’t imagine after this little experiment you’ll be begging to be back working a 9 to 5.”

“I can’t imagine I’ll enjoy being unemployed.”

“It’ll help when you stop thinking of yourself as unemployed and more as a full-time content creator.”

“Right…what's the catch?”

A few months later, Jamie was living in the lap of luxury. Tom hired someone to come around every day to take care of chores and get him whatever food he wanted. (Tom had also hired him to ensure that food was now always within arms reach and Jamie did as little physical labor as possible.He would get a bonus ever time he could sneak in appetite stimulant or weight gain shakes into his diet) Jamie spent the first couple weeks just testing his new helper on the lengths they would go for his every craving. He never found something he wanted that wouldn’t show up for him in multiple greasy bags ready to be devoured. Catering pans filled with burritos or lasagna would show up whenever he wanted.

Jamie was glad for the extra hands around the house because it meant he could devote all his time to his favorite hobbies. He could binge watch shows and play video games for days. The internet would graciously supply him with any kind of entertainment to keep his mind distracted while giant bags of chips disappeared into his maw.

The best part, Jamie thought, was having Tom around. All the nagging voices of his coworkers were replaced with Tom’s. He would come over when he got a break or after work, usually toting a bag filled with Jamie’s favorite treats. While Jamie shamelessly licked his fingers and the bag for every morsel, Tom would whisper into his ears how sexy he found him. He would tell Jamie how proud he was every time he found fresh fat and stretch marks while he caressed his body. Whenever Jamie got nervous and embarrassed about outgrowing clothes, Tom would celebrate and order in the finest meals he could find. Tom had transformed unemployment into being the best thing that ever happened to him.

Time slipped away and pounds piled on. The bubble of indulgence burst when Brandon paid Jamie a surprise visit. The helper opened the door slightly and Brandon barged in.

“Jamie, I think there’s something you should- dear Lord! What the hell?” Brandon took in the full extent of Jamie’s new level of obesity. He would check in on videos occasionally, but months had passed since he last saw him in person. “The camera really doesn’t do justice on how big you look.”

“That’s what Tim says too. He says I’ll waste away if I’m not careful.” Jamie let out a nervous chuckle that shook his bean bag sized belly.

“Brandon, do you know how much Tim is keeping from you? Do you even know how much you weigh?”

“Well I got fired around 500 and we just did a milestone video not too long ago, so I figure I should be in the early 600s.”

“That milestone video was for 700 and that was six months ago.”

“Well time sort of gets away from you when you don’t have to be at work five days a week. But I’m making the best out of the situation. I’ve got great TV and these delicious snacks that honestly taste like butter and sugar.”

“It probably is just lard and sugar,” Jamie said. “And this isn’t raising any red flags for you? Aren’t you worried about fitting through doors anymore?”

“Not since we widened them all. I had a few incidents where I got stuck.”

“A few?”

“Well the first time, I thought it was a freak accident, but then it kept happening and each time it was harder for me to get out. There was one time Tim was going to grease me up to get me out the door with some butter, but I had already eaten it all during a feeding session.”

“And again, you’re okay with all this? A man just emerges from the internet and you let him feed you off a cliff?”

“Honestly, it didn’t take as much convincing as you might think. Tim has this belief that just some people were born to be fat and that’s it. That being fat is our role to play in the world. And like I probably could’ve gone into the job market and fought for another boring job I don’t even like just to make ends meet, but my other option was to be perfectly fine doing exactly what I want to do. I enjoy eating and lounging around all day and the more I do it, the bigger I get, the more money I make to spend on food and fun stuff. Outgrowing clothes, furniture, my car- it’s all just a part of my life at this size. It’s been a part of my life for years now, decades almost. And the price to pay- the stuff that my doctors used to say to scare me- I’ve made my peace with it. I’ve spent too much trying to be scared by it already. One more cake isn’t going to make the difference.”

“Give up, he’s already made up his mind.” Tim said, emerging without warning. “This is who he is now. He’s settled completely into a life of being fed and pampered. Now all he wants in life is to keep growing for me and his subscribers. That strong-willed guy you used to know is gone. He’s accepted life as a fat boy. .’

The doorbell rang. The caretaker opened the door and in came a man in a polo with a gigantic grease stained brown paper bag. The smell of all kinds of food filled the house. Jamie looked at Brandon who was licking his lips. Brandon couldn’t contain his excitement. Brandon said, stunned, “This is really your life now. This is what fills your life with happiness. Do you even have any of your mobility left?”

“Of course I do. Look, I’ll go fetch my mid-afternoon snack from the kitchen myself.”

“Snack?”

Brandon rocked back and forth, trying to get some momentum. For a brief second, he made it off the chair. Then the momentum switched directions. The weight of a family of four slammed into the sofa. The wooden frame underneath let out a scream before the whole left side broke into pieces.

“Are you okay?” Tim yelled out.

“Let me help you back up.” Jamie stretched out his hands.

“No, I can get up by myself.” Brandon tried the trick again. He rocked back and forth and hauled himself up with a mighty groan. Breathlessly, he said, “I told you I could do it.”

Brandon waddled slowly towards the kitchen. Every thunderous step shook the house, rattling anything not nailed down. It was hypnotizing watching the dimpled folds of his body pillow-sized thighs brush past each other. His gut swung like a pendulum back and forth out of the bottom of his shirt. Every movement made his shirt slide further up his belly until it was blocked by his chest. The sound of his panting was hard to ignore as it grew louder. It didn’t seem like a long distance from the sofa to the kitchen counter, but when Brandon got there, it was like he had completed a marathon. Everyone was stunned by the sight, except for Brandon.

“All of this is for me, right?” Brandon said, catching his breath, “I’ve been hungry since I finished my second round of lunch an hour ago.” Brandon tore apart the bag and stuffed a fistful of seasoned fries into his mouth while he rifled through the containers.

#gainer story #gainer fiction #gay gainer #wg story #bhm #encourager #glorifying obesity #death feederism

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doodlegirl1998 · 6 months

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I think I finally realize why the writing in BNKA always puts me off in some way, something I've been saying for a while but never got a chance to go into detail.

The writing in BNKA feels like narrative manipulation.

I've come to this conclusion after seeing how the fandom reacts to certain moments and compare them to earlier scenes. And that was when it all clicked for me to come up with this word.

With how the unholy three started out (Bakugou, Aizawa, and Endeavor) then seeing their personalities and how others view them take a complete 180 to view them in a better light, that's what I'm referring to as narrative manpulation.

With Bakugou starting out as a bully and supposedly "changing" so others can say "Wow what a great guy he is!" And praise him to the moon and back... it's literally middle school all over again for him.

With Aizawa coming across as unfair and uncaring only for the narrative to prove he's right every time and have others treat him like he's japanese Einstein.

And with Endeavor starting off as a horrible person and the main conflict for Shoto to overcome... only for his family to welcome him back with open arms and say "We're all to blame for what happened!" just to lift some of it off of him and make him seem like he meant well.

The one common thing about these three is Hori having them express negative emotions and crying and the fandom eats it all up. Claiming that they've gone through development and that they really do care and are more than what we were led to believe. And then have them act the exact same way like nothing happened.

And that my friend... is narrative manipulation.

Hi @theloganator101 👋,

100%.

All of the writing in MHA is narrative manipulation but especially with those three.

Bakugou, Aizawa and Endeavour have narrative manipulation, their own in-universe simps, characters not reacting to them as they should and retcons to soften them and make them more palatable to the audience.

Bakugou and Endeavour are easy and extreme examples so I'll begin with Aizawa first.

With Aizawa, this has worked so well that you rarely see people critical of him and only those who have fully and critically looked at him in canon without #Dadzawa colouring their perception.

His students should dislike / hate or at the very least be wary of him. A teacher who sleeps all the time, pulls "logical ruses" lies and expels on a whim would realistically cause the mental health of his students to plummet. Yet all of 1A (including Izu who he seems to very much dislike) love him for some reason...

He's praised as logical, "harsh but effective" yet his fellow teachers should HATE him. Through the amount of students he's expelled I've heard some people theorising that he has expelled OTHER teachers students. Imagine how angry you would be as a teacher to find one of your students careers destroyed because a fellow teacher expelled them for a bullshit reason. Not only that but logically Aizawa's expulsions would have destroyed lives, destroyed careers before they fully lifted off the ground even made villians.

*There's also the fact that he's not shown to be a great friend in canon either, yet Aizawa is surrounded by Shirakumo, Yamada or Kayama who aren't offput from his behaviour. And even has a respect from All Might (despite the fact that Aizawa has been shown to dislike him.)

* - I'm not blaming Aizawa for being depressed or low key here. That's understandable. However friendship is about give and take. We don't see Aizawa being supportive back to his friends, we see them support him only. And when there's an opportunity to show Aizawa being supportive like to Mic after Midnight's death, Hori doesn't take it. Hori instead makes Aizawa shut Mic up. Additionally, when you like someone and are friends with them - you make the effort to show you like their company, you like being around them, you engage with them. Aizawa acts annoyed by his friends most of the time he's with them on screen, like he's grudgingly tolerating them at best.

Then there's Bakugou who is praised as the second coming of Christ, who lost nothing for suicide baiting a quirkless kid (our MC) and abusing him for ten years! Instead Izuku still calls him "Kacchan" 🤮, Bkg has made friends who are staunchly "anti bully" in Mina and Kirishima (who look stupid or hypocrites for being friends with this POS), Aizawa even praises and favours him for some reason despite Bkg's power being astonishingly one note and Bkg having so much of an awful attitude for heroics the villians thought he was a good recruit. 😬 Bakugou is the worst written character I have seen in a long time - a true Gary Stu.

And finally we have Endeavour, the child abusing POS himself who gets a tragic backstory that none of us wanted to see (his father dying as a kid), we have blame shifting on to Rei and Touya with their respective insanity (also now blame shifted on to Rei's incestous fam by some fans) and some even saying "Endeav had Touya's best interests at heart all along" which truly makes me scoff. If Endeav had Touya's best interests he would have taught Touya to cool himself off, he would have found another interest for them to bond over and sent him to therapy. Not ignoring his spiralling son until he died then got saved by All For One.

In addition, Rei's entire character being used as an "Endeav is not that bad" mouth piece makes me sick, Endeavour broke this woman, physically, emotionally and sexually (depending on your reading but she didn't look consenting to Natsuo and Shoto's births) abused her. So this choice with her character doesn't even make sense, she couldn't even see Shoto, she burnt her child because he looked like Endeav! Why doesn't she loathe this man like she should?! It is sick. It's even sicker of Hori to make her say "We are all responsible for what happened." Like that isn't the most delusional and victim blaming shit to say to your children who couldn't have done squat against their hero father.

Then there's Shoto and his story being overshadowed again by his abusive father, his friendship with Izuku being made about forgiving said abusive father. Shoto deserved so much better than this.

TLDR - the victims of the story should have been allowed to show the impact of their abuse / teaching malpractice that they have dealt with.

Aizawa should have resigned his teaching job (that he didn't even want in the first place) and got therapy as well trying his best to make it up to all those whose lives he ruined.

Bakugou should have been expelled for being an abusive asshole and being too dumb to hide it.

Endeavour should have had the Todofam HATE his guts and no one in his corner coddling him when he cries about Dabi then later Dabi should have finished him off instead of sprouting ice randomly.

#mha critical #bnha critical #Aizawa critical #Anti Aizawa Shota #Anti Bakugou #Anti Bakugou Katsuki #Anti Endeavour

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