#Star Flower PLEASE get out of here you dont fucking deserve this you did nothing wrong

[bonebabbles]

I keep starting and abandoning posts that go into my drafts, as I try to stay tasteful about how fucking revolted this part makes me. Like, I'm legitimately unsure if the very relevant trauma I have is making me see things that aren't here

But first we see that Star Flower is trying to ingratiate herself to the group, just after she reappears from chapter 5. Chapter 5 is about how Clear Sky is still abusive towards his son, and she comes in after stroking his ego, stressing how alone she is, and appealing to how she'll be loyal unlike his child. (She glances over at Thunder, directly implying this.)

Now in Chapter 9, she's babysitting and trying to care for Milkweed's kits (in spite of discomfort from Milkweed), taking a wet sleeping space away from the others, and pulling more than her own weight "without complaint." Putting herself through harsh sitations to prove her worth.

All while trying to appear extra attractive to Thunder, and later Clear Sky. Basically every man in power who can "protect her"

Like, am I going fucking crazy? With how we later find out that Star Flower was "promised as a mate" to One Eye's subordinate Slash, is... is that hypersexualization? One of the extremely stigmatized symptoms of sexual abuse?

She goes to find Clear Sky alone to throw herself at his paws, and he's very quickly attracted to how she promises to perfectly obey him, have no needs of her own, and finally be the perfect servant that he desires

"I don't deserve your trust because I am dirt. I understand you because I also regret something. I'd die for you. I'll never betray you unlike those who have."

This isn't manipulation. She means this. The story is playing their romance sincerely. She's comparing "betraying" Thunder by telling her own father about an assassination ambush to Clear Sky's history of child abuse, physical assault, and murder

She believes she's on the same level as this; a monster who murdered a childhood friend in a fit of entitled rage. She was a victim of One Eye who really believes that the way her father used her means she "understands" this monster, deserves this treatment.

And Clear Sky LIKES that.

He likes that she will have COMPLETE FAITH in him. That she will follow him WITHOUT QUESTION. That she will OBEY his orders. That's fucking verbatim, that's THE TEXT!!!

WHILE HE'S STILL CRYING ABOUT "ive tried to atone every day" FOLLOWING THE LAST TWO BOOKS WHERE THE ONLY SHITTY THING HE DOESN'T DO IS MURDER INNOCENT WOMEN

Am I insane?? Am I wrong??? Am I missing something here???? Why the fuck is the fandom takeaway "haha sexy girl steals his dad." Did I read the same book

#Csa mention #Did they once again do a misogyny so hard they accidentally gave their woman character trauma #My tip to anyone in a draining relationship. If your partner fetishizes that YOU would never leave or betray them unlike ''all the others'' #RUN. #There may be a reason their exes cut ties with them and they're praising you for ignoring red flags #Especially when your partner is significantly older and more experienced #Theres nothing noble about constantly suffering for the sake of 'loyalty' #Star Flower PLEASE get out of here you dont fucking deserve this you did nothing wrong #Bones reads dotc #Dotc hate #I thought i was just remembering things wrong when i was adding the subtheme of thunder having a connection to star via abusive dads- #-in my dotc rewrite. But no it's right there. It's in the text and it's something clear is attracted to #I abuse the shit out of my son and he left me once over it #But i can abuse this girl his same age and she won't run. Finally! A victim who won't leave! #And then they become mates and she births at least two litters #Cw abuse #sa mention #EDIT: I've changed the language just slightly #because the timeline COULD work out that starf was an adult when she was promised to slash for a very brief window of time #and hypersexualization is a symptom of trauma resulting from many types of sex abuse. Even that done when the victim was an adult. #it's just more common in CSA

[sunsinrinn]

Do you love her? Part 3

Angst, (some) fluff, language

Bakugo x reader (past), setsuna x bakugo, Kaminari x reader

Word count- 1,756

You look at Denki shock at his sudden boldness unable to speak. Taking your silence as rejection Denki, losing his boldness, begins to stammer,

“I- I shit, I’m sorry I said that I just needed to get that off of my chest. I totally get it if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. Oh crap i messed up. I mean I cant loose you as a friend. I know you’re still getting over Bakugo but I- I should have kept quiet. I just didn’t want to keep this from you but damn i should’ve just lied about what I needed-“

You cut him off, “Denki shut your mouth and let me speak,” He immediately stops rambling and listens, “I like you too. You make me feel complete again. You manage to make me smile even when I don’t feel like smiling. I cant imagine my life without you. I want to have a relationship with you. But if we do this we need to go slow. I know you wont hurt me but I still need time.” As you finish speaking you see his eyes slowly begin to widen along with his smile.

“Oh god- I thought you’re silence meant you didn’t feel the same way oh my god I cant believe it you like me back!” He says excitedly as he wraps his arms around you. You begin to blush and hug him back. When you hug him back he whispers in your ear “I promise I will never break your heart. I will protect it with all my power and make sure you never get hurt.” You smile softly at that and say “I know, and I trust you.”

As you guys hug, outside Bakugo looks like his entire world was shattered. He had not expected you to return Denki’s feelings. In fact he expected you to have closed off your emotions. He knew now he has to try harder to steal you from Denki. He could not allow Kaminari to swoop you in. Bakugo storms away forgetting about apologizing for the moment.

Later in the day, you and Denki are found in the common area really close,laughing at each other’s jokes

“Wow Denki did you finally ask her out?” Uraraka asks jokingly, not knowing it was true.

You look over at him to see him blushing like crazy, “Yeah, my phone charger finally confessed his feelings” You say laughing softly. He looks at you blushing even more.

You Look at him like he hung the stars and Uraraka could see how much you cared for him. “So when are you taking her on a date then, lover boy?”

“I- i we are taking it slow” he manages to say, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Ah, I see well. I hope you treat her better! Or else me and you will have some problems mister.” His eyes widen at Uraraka while you just smile. “Don’t worry about that Uraraka, I trust him” you say to her but look at him. He looks speechless at you, still not completely believing you are trusting him with your heart and love. “I promise I will protect her and never cause her harm” he finally manages to say. Uraraka just smiles believing him.

In the background, Izuku tells Shoto, “I’m glad they are together, he will really help her heal and I know he won’t hurt her.” Shoto nods before responding, “I am glad he confessed his feelings for her. I was about to do it for him.” Izuku just laughs at his response.

*A little time skip- A couple of months*

Bakugo has spent these last few months avoided the new couple disgusted at your low standard. He likes to think Denki is a rebound, someone who will keep you company until you get bored and want bakugo back. Although he is currently with Setsuna he has been close to breaking things off with her but he never does. He keeps thinking of ways to talk to you, reach out, but you have him blocked and avoid him when you’re alone.

“I will get you back y/n” he says to himself.

For you these past months have been wonderful with Denki you knew he loved you and he showed it to you. He would buy you flowers and your favorite snacks and even go shopping with you. You unconsciously compared your relationship with the one you had with Bakugo. Comparing them made you realize that bakugo never cared. He only cared in the beginning but after he stopped. He never even attempted to get to know you personally. He was only with you because you were head over heals in love with him. He was with you, not because he loved you, but he loved the idea of you being in love with him. Essentially, he only loved you because your love fed his ego.

You were foolish to think he actually cared, but Denki shows you how caring he is. Hell, he isn’t afraid to show you off or to give you affection in public. He wants you to know you are loved and that you deserve the world. He knows you are still healing but he will do everything he can to help you so you’re finally free from Bakugo.

Everyone can see how much he cares and how much he adores you. He worships the ground you walk. They also see that you are visibly happier than with Bakugo. Everyone knows that bakugo hates the relationship and they know that he hates that you can’t even look at him without being disgusted. He has somehow become colder.

Bakugo finally decides that instead of coming up with a plan he is just going to confront you. He decides to do it sooner rather than later so he no longer has to see you in Kaminari’s arms.

Days go by as you continue spending your time with Denki and others. Even now, Kirishima, mina, and Sero are cautious to talk to you. It hurts knowing you lost three friends, now they are just acquaintances. It hurts them too but they know its for the best, just in case bakugo wants to show up while you hang out with them. They are thinking they are sparing you from more pain.

Bakugo believes that full on confronting you is the way to go so he begins to avoid Setsuna. And oh boy, she pitches a fit so he reluctantly continues talking to her.

As you finish getting ready for your date with Kaminari you walk outside to wait for him. As you wait, Bakugo sees you alone and takes his chance to finally talk to you. He begins to walk out and stands behind you.

You sense someone’s presence behind you so you turn around smiling thinking its Denki. Your smile falls as you realize who it is, turning around quickly to avoid looking at him any longer.

“Y/n...” you hear him say softly but choose to ignore him so he continues, “Please y/n, I want to speak with you.” He reaches out to touch your shoulder causing you to flinch from his touch, “Don’t touch me Bakugo” you say coldly. He retracts his hand but continues, “Please, please forgive. You dont realize how much I miss you. How much I regret saying those cruel things to you.” His voice breaking as he speaks. His vulnerability almost, almost, changes your mind about him.

“Bakugo stop. We haven’t been together for months. Can’t you see I’m happier now? Can’t you understand that what you did and said really hurt me? I can’t be with you anymore.”

“Please y/n, please I still love you so much!”

You laugh at that, “You don’t love me. Do you love her?” You ask him that question for the last time.

“I don’t love her! I’m sorry I ever doubted my love for you! Please give me another chance!”

“Bakugo you don’t love me. I know you don’t. If you did, you would have never fallen for Lizard bitch Setsuna. You would have never stuck your tongue down her throat. If you love me like you claim you do, you would have fought harder for me to stay with you, not insult and degrade me and the love I HAD for you.”

He stays silent for a while, but soon speaks up, “I am so sorry for saying those things to you I was just so angry with myself for falling how Setsuna, and because I hated that you accused me of cheating. I want to make it up to you please just let me. I want a future with you by my side! I cant stand to see you happy with someone like Denki”

“You did cheat, bastard! What kind of game are you playing at Bakugo? You don’t want me unless I’m someone else’s. You don’t even know you’re being selfish right now! I am happy now but all you fucking care about is your fucking happiness! Leave me alone for fucks sake, Understand I don’t love you anymore, I love Denki and I am glad to have him in my life. He sees me as an equal and cares for my feelings.” You look back towards the door, where the hell is Denki when you need him? As you think that you seem him come outside hurriedly.

“I’m sorry I’m late- what’s going on?” Denki looks at you and bakugo. He notices your mad and bakugo looks broken.

“What happened?” He asks. You look at him and speak, “Oh nothing bakugo just came her to try and win me back.” He internally panics because deep down he’s afraid you’ll give Bakugo another chance.

“Don’t worry though. I already told him I have someone who not only sees me as an equal but also cares for me. Something he’s never done.” You smile softly at him and with that Denki’s worries are gone. He feels proud of what you said.

“Okay, well lets go y/n, we don’t want to be late for our date” and with that you hold his hand and walk off leaving bakugo behind.

Bakugo watches as the love of his life walks off happily. He knows he won’t love anyone as much as he loves you. He knows he’s going to have to live with the regret of losing someone who cared about him even when he was insufferable. That one question you always asked him will always stay on his mind, haunting him,

“Do you love her?”

The end.

Here is Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

A/N- with that “Do you love her?” comes to an end. I hope the ending is okay? I felt like I may have rushed it but oh well i guess...

What other characters should I write for? Any requests?

Taglist: @tspice283 , @random-fandom-girl-24

#kaminari x reader #bnha x reader #denki x reader #kaminari denki x reader #kaminari denki #kaminari #denki #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki #bakugo #bnha #mha x reader #mha

[thirsthourdemon]

What does happiness look like?

Includes: Kuroo

Genre: Angst, a tad of fluff

Warnings: cheating?

A/N: Mwuah Happy? What happy?

Cold and trembling, he was submerged into the freezing water up to his collar bones. Head resting on the dull coloured wall tiles of his bathroom, kuroo stared aimlessly at the edge of his tub. Chapped lips and a bored gaze on his pale face that night. Why cant we just be happy? To be obliviously happy. What did happiness even look like anymore? Was he even worthy of happiness?

These questions constantly seep their way into his head and like the overthinker he was, he’d spend hours remaining in the cold water pondering on when he was every going to see the light again. Bathing for decency. As he stood up from his position, he sneaked a peek at the autumn sky in the small compact window on top of his bathroom. Though his body was telling him to quickly cover himself, he simply took his time wearing clothes, still dazed. The moaning and groaning of his stomach, though not new, did not fell into deaf ears as he had thought to walked over to the local ramen shop to get something to eat. It wasn’t foreign for him to feel that as he had been doing that for a while. Eating just to survive. He pockets his keys and looks over at the jersey he was supposedly proud of. Framed with a picture of his previous volleyball team beside it. The smile he has on his face with the sweat dripping down his brow. Staying alive just for the sake of being alive.

What face will he make when he sees what happiness looks like again? The clicking of the door echoed telling him that he could go already. Once again taking his time, he admired the view of the night all the while not noticing the fumbling bike about to crash at him. In a swift moment he had barely moved aside as the bike had coming crashing into the pile of garbage cans. The loud crash scaring the kittens that have been concealing themselves using the bins and bags. “Im fi-hay-ne” she slurs through her loud announcement of her state while trying to pick herself up from the rubble.

“I wasn’t asking-“ “Well that’s mean! Didn’t your mother teach you to help those who needed it?” She banters while patting herself to rid of the dirt, though that did nothing to the stench that she now had on her. “You dont seem like you need help though...” his voice was in between a low growl and mumble. “Ha?! Look at this boy! Not even helping a lady! Who raised you?” She starts grumbling, picking up her bike and trying to get back on, ultimately failing. The night was so dark that only the light post was illuminating the way, looking at the ill mannered girl, he had finally gotten a good look of her face.

Scrunched up nose with stars for eyes, clearly scratched and a bit of filth layed on her soft cheeks. Her brows furrowed to the center and sweat glistening on her forehead. Cutting through his admiring thoughts” Then let me help you. My apartment is near by” he utters, seemingly regretting this but accepting the situation when she turns to him with a toothy grin and runs close him.

She smelled of garbage and oil, amusing him though she starts rambling about her day.

Wow she actually thinks I care...Hmmm...when will she even stop talking? At least she’s not awkward, I guess? What is she even talking about? “-So there I was right? He was trying to talk me into letting him eat me while I was on my period. Calling me his little ketchup packet-“ “HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT?!” A hyena like laughter emits from his lips. When was the last time he even laughed like this? His grabbed onto his sides and cackled the night away. The night, the moment he looked at her...

His eyes relaxed and a small smile to his dry lips, that was the face he had when he had finally seen what happiness looked like again.

The face he had made everyday since then.

“Tetsu! Look at the kitten mugs! We should get some! It looks great!” “Y/N, we dont need-“ “LOOK! They even have nekoma themed mugs! And fukurodani ones! These are great! Did you know I actually went to fukurodani?” Her blabber was a tune that was constantly stuck to his head now. Watching her bring the mugs to the counter, he quickly hands his card to the register without her protest...well up until “I could have handled that yknow?” Another one of her famous complaints. Who knew happiness was a small woman in an old jacket and was as aggressive as a chihuahua?

“Fine, then you can buy the tea, kitten?” The raven offered as she feels her cheeks grow warm at the nickname. “Of course Im paying for tea, idiot!” Hurriedly grabbing her shopping bag and walking to the entrance that kuroo had opened for her. Walking side by side while munching on the weird convenience store they had both decided on.

“I like these! We should buy more next time, no?” Gasping at the delicious snack.

“Make yourself at home...” “Will do, sir~” she enters his apartment so casually and places the mugs down. Plopping down on her, self-proclaimed, spot while the rooster haired male had set up his kitchen for some tea she sets up the show they were going to watch. Spotting some packets of convenience store food, the smaller girl stared at them and started arising from her seat.

Kuroo felt small arms wrap around his waist and a cheek to his back. “Tetsu...” “Yes, kitten?” Replying with a teasing voice however regretting it as soon the male realizes what was happening. “I told you not to eat convenience store food anymore!” She scolds. Sigh It was a sight to behold. A 6ft tall man saying sorry to a smaller female, who was not even his lover, scolding him of not taking better care of himself. Though after all has been said and done she brings him to a cuddle on the couch. “Im just scolding you because I lov- ehem I..aughh I mean be-cause... you aren’t taking care of yourself again...you idiot” The last part sounding almost like a whisper. He was safe, content and most of all happy.

Recalling the questions he once had in his head.

Who knew happiness looked like her? An aggressive small girl who was way too confident.

A certain warm light to her eyes. Brow always dripping with sweat. She was fierce and weirdly competitive in things that don’t really matter.

‘Who could eat the most mochi?’ ‘Who could finish their tea first?’ Most of which the former captain would entertain. Happiness looked like her whenever she would run after the birds at the park and giggle at their “Cowardice” to face her.

Happiness sounded like her odd stories and her voice shouting at the store owner to haggle with her. She was happiness. She was his happiness.

He knew in himself that he liked her of course. Through his ups and downs they were together. The convincing him to go to classes. Y/N constantly riding up to his apartment just so she made sure he would actually go. Her constant “Good morning”...the...

“Tetsu, come on. It’s a great day to go to do something after classes!”

“OI! WHAT ARE YOU EATING?! You think rice is cheap? Ha?! Eat the food I made! No more instant noodles!”

“It’s okay. Let it all out. Im here. Your feelings are valid, okay?”

“Hey tetsu, I bought some Grilled Salted Mackerel pike!”

Until it became...

“Kitten! Let’s go to the beach!”

“Hey! Eat your food! It’ll get cold yknow?”

“Chibi-chan! You can’t even catch up!”

“Do you need help with that one? Here you do it like this...”

“Y/N, kenma said we’re meeting up at the cafe near the station. Wanna get ready at 10?”

“Hey shut the fuck up! She can wear whatever she wants. You’re just a pervert if you think you’re allowed to cat call her just for wearing clothes, ass hole”

Coming back to his younger, more passionate self. The happiest and the best version of himself, he thought that through this he was at least worthy and deserving of being loved by her.

However not everything is perfect. There were days where Y/N couldn’t even stop by. She was tired and she needed to rest for herself. Kuroo understand that but lately she was a bit too busy.

Was she busy? He wouldn’t have doubter her if...he hadnt..He saw her walking out of campus with a guy that day. More specifically the school’s counseling president.. She was so nice. Nice to everyone. Even to people like that. She was even nice to him. Him. He wasn’t even anybody. He was nothing and she was everything. He hated to think about it but...Maybe she just did that out of pity. She’s so nice that she would do that. Who was he?

Who was he to be important? He wasn’t a president of anything. He was just himself. Was he even worthy enough that she takes care of him to such an extent? What could he do for her though?

The sudden creak of the door alerts him, his sharp eyes meet Y/N’s frame holding a bouquet of flowers. “Oh hey can you help with these? The guys at the committee bought them for me as thanks but I honestly like gardens more hahaha Still sweet though” Taking off her shoes and handing him the big bouquet of red to pink roses. He could have done much better. She didn’t even like their stupid bouquet.

“There’s a green house tea house thing close to my university. Wanna go then? I mean Im going to be dropping some stuff off at my locker so-“ “Really?! Sure!” An excited squeal came from her lips while she stepped in and occupied the majority of the couch in a deflated or one might say tired pose.

“Please pick from our flower charms!” The host to the tea shop announcing enthusiastically at the duo. Normally the two would have picked different flowers however captivated by certain flowers with bright pink petals that point to the sky. Cyclamens with small papers which read “Fight for your love”.

Just like fortune cookies.

Well what do you know? Passionate love then? What a coincidence due to the situation. To fight for your love.

Being seated at their booth, both had looked around the place. Clumsily piled high with beautiful plants and the sun light almost seemed too perfectly placed. Y/N looked as if she belonged there. With the flora decorating her, one would have considered her a fairy. “You look...N-nice...kitten” stuttering to even find the right things to say.

Under the table...

She had gently inched her small fingertips to touch his calloused ones. Holding at least a portion of her hand. Soft ,comforting and happy. When the tea had arrived Kuroo had only taken a small sip until he rejected the floral drink completely. “You know Chrysanthemums actually means Loyalty and patience? It’s really cool!” With the tea’s edge to her slightly parted lips, the young female had taken a quiet sip.

She enjoys the date with her hand completely clasped in his under the table. Shoulders touching and giggling at whatever kuroo was showing her on his phone. It was literal paradise. Beautiful flora, wonderful food and amazing her. It was perfection in a moment. The sun’s afternoon light striped through her hair and a portion of her cheek. Magic.

It was all until she had started squirming and gripping his hand tighter. “T-tesu...I ughh...I like someone. It’s this guy and...he...I think he might be the one, tetsu! He buys tea with me and holds me like Im home...”

So he was right. He was correct this time. He was so used to being wrong that right now being right felt like a punishment. Tetsuro though that he was the only one who he did those things with. So right and so wrong at the same time.

The little glimmer of happiness in him slightly fading.

He was just there because she pitied him.

He hated it but he didn’t say that, he couldn’t. He had his signature grin on as he knuckles her hair he says something along the lines of “You! You’re going to scare him off! Hahaha! You’re so stubborn too, chibi-chan!”

The laughter was sweet as the tea he had refused to drink. A few moments later the male had left saying that he had to relieve himself though he barely drank anything.

1: 02 PM

3: 27 PM

“Miss, would you like me to sit with-“ “Oh? Oh! No! Sorry! Im actually with someone. Im just waiting for him”

“Oh sorry! I thought you were alone”

6: 12 PM

8: 45 PM

“Umm...miss, we’re actually going to close now”

...

“Hello? Tetsu-“ “This number cannot be reached. Please try again-“

“UGH! I am so kicking his ass when I see him! Ditching me like that!...” Shuffling to gather her things and hurriedly asking for the bill. She leaves the moment she’s cleared and in search of the rooster head male.

Meanwhile the male was in the library ever since. Trying to simply clear his head. Trying to understand what had just happened. Recalling the exact moment that you weren’t his anymore. When a woman in a skimpy outfit had cat called him when he was about to leave. Something about how he looked well hung. Livid, he grabbed her to the side which she obliged in.

This was wrong.

Though why would he care? He was always wrong. The one moment where he was correct he was also wrong. He clenched his fist and forcibly bit his lips.

He was cringing at all of this. Y/N was supposed to be his and yet...She had to choose...and she chose someone who deserved her love.

The disgusting moans of the woman he was making out with at the alley way. Hungry, disgusted and furious. His touches were rough and almost hurting her.

Again, why would he care? Y/N didn’t even like him! He was only taken care of out of pity! He was nothing! All he was...was wrong.

Empty and wrong.

He took it all out on the innocent girl’s cunt. Kuroo called out for her. Her nickname.

Grasping and groaning ‘kitten’. Balls deep in this bitch he picked up from the street when his phone started ringing.

The light of his screen illuminating them.

On the other side of this though...Y/N was walking to his apartment to see if he was there. Also just as livid. Tear stained. Her mascara smudged. No longer looking like a fresh flower. A wilted yellow carnation to her hair while her hands fumbled with her phone. She felt betrayed. She felt useless. It took so much for her to even confess! She had to time everything! To the hand holding and intimate touches.

Even rejecting the council president because of him!

He was a jerk! Why would he even invite her to a date if he was just going to ditch her?

Was she the one in the wrong this time though? Did he even like her? Why would he just invite her?

Did she misunderstand? Were they just friends?...

Finally confessing to him and he just-...mid step. Her head just momentarily looking to the side, to the alleyway. When a familiar figure was illuminated by a screen’s light in his pocket. A familiar figure with a familiar ring tone in a foreign situation. The flower on her hair dropping to her worn out shoes.

It was like a blink. Like a flicker of the light. It was at least just 2 seconds when she saw it.

There he was. Frustrated, grinning, calling out for his ‘kitten’ and balls deep in a girl she has never even seen before.

Taglist: @boosyboo9206 @kuroos-babie @yamaguchi-stan @janellion @cthuroo (thank you for helping me I love you) @my-mass-hysteria @zoppzoop

#hq kuroo x reader #kuroo x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu kuroo x reader #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!! #anime #hq anime #anime series #haikyuu nekoma #haikyuu angst #hq nekoma #hq angst #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu kuroo tetsuro #hq kuroo tetsuro #hq kuroo

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

#asks <3 #anon asks! #star anon #long post

[cannibalisticshadows]

Nightcall (2/2)

[ao3 Link] .    [Part One]

Megamind drops out of the media. Though the media doesn’t drop him.

The spike in his frequent fights with Metro Man has done a complete 360, much to the relief of the locals and to the disappointment of tourists. The news and media alike have leaped onto his sudden change like scavengers to fresh offal. Talk of his recent rendezvous, or lack thereof, are on everyone’s mind.

“He’s a maniac,” some talk-show host said into the speaker, hunched over a desk looking quite aggressive. The screen of the television baths the blue alien in a dull electronic glow illuminated his reflective eyes. He frowns at the person but having no good point to disagree. He’s just offended someone would be so bold to jump into the obvious.

“He’s a maniac, and Metro Man has been taking his sweet-ass time in trying to bring this alien-fuck down. Sure, sure, all-righteous and no-killing and what not. I’m sorry but he’s just pious.” Not just ballsy, but controversial. “My only guess as to why Megamind has abruptly vanished like a phantom is because our city’s hero finally grew a pair and kicked his skinny blue ass into the next life. And by God will none of us miss him. Look at what a shit-show he’s turned this city into—“

Megamind turns the TV off by throwing the remote so hard that it shatters the screen.

Sighing, he crawls out of his little nest of blankets and decides it’s time. He’s been procrastinating enough; he’s done nothing for the past two weeks and it’s getting to his head.

His plan to tell Roxanne started out sounding like the only resort to fixing him and his dumb extraterrestrial make-up, but he’s been pushing it off since he got home the last time he broke out of prison. Who knew he could really raise some hell by simply doing nothing.

Roxanne has made few appearances on television since her last kidnapping. Sadly enough, due to his absence, she had little to do (at least, to the public eye). She was the main reporter, focusing on Metro City’s star inhabitancies. Metro Man had nothing much to do besides helping little old ladies or getting cats from trees—not worthy of making an emergency announcement on the news.

And since he hasn’t seen her, he’s going into such a stump he’s made several near attempts to just show up at her place with no spray. How would she respond?

Well, he’d find out tonight.

He filled the invisible car up with his home-made energy source, making sure it wouldn’t run on empty. Tonight he was going out, far enough to reach the boonies.

And he wouldn’t be alone.

Megamind, unsure of how she’d react but knowing this would be practically life or death for him, grabbed a few essentials. The de-gun. Knock-out spray. Rope. You know. The usual. This had to go as smooth as possible for him to get serious with her, to assure her he’d never bother her again as long as he got this off his chest so he could wallow in misery with a peace of mind.

So, making sure she’s home with the affirmation from one of his spy-bots, Megamind packs up his things in the car and zooms out of the Lair before Minion can so much as ask “Where are you going, Sir?”

When he gets to her building, he uses a brainbot to fly him up to her balcony. She never locks it (Oh, Roxanne, I do question your sanity sometimes), so when he pushes the glass doors open, he enters a relatively quiet domain.

The lights over her tiny kitchen are on, illuminating her one-person apartment. Sniffing, and catching the remnants of her perfume, he follows it until—

“Mega—“ Before he gives her time to even finish saying his self-given name, he whips around and gives her a reasonably large dose of spray. She gasps, eyes roll up, and her body drops in a dead weight. Flinging out an arm he catches her, unable to keep his hungry eyes from the expanse of her pale, bare neck. Megamind splays his fingers across her bare, marveling at seeing her for the first time in weeks. It’s been too long.

Tonight she’s wearing civvies. A pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a white peasant blouse with little red and blue flowers along the neck and sleeves. She’s missed a barber appointment, he thinks, as her hair is exactly two centimeters longer than usual. Her hair’s also a bit damp, curling ever so slightly at the very ends. She not wearing makeup, either, letting him see all of her little brown freckles dusting her cheeks, like little stars in a milky white setting. He licks his lips.

Megamind ties her wrists and covers her mouth with a cheap duck tape. He’s never taped her mouth shut before, but for once he doesn’t want her screaming or complaining. And despite every Hollywood movie where the bad guy tapes the victim’s mouth shut, it’s very possible to remove it without the use of hands.

He carries her out bridal style, whistling for the brainbot to bring him back to the car. Once on the ground, he tucks her into the passenger seat and pulls the belt on, all before getting in himself.

And then he drives. He drives for a long time, content for the moment to sit in silence beside the soft rumble of the car’s engine.

Swerving through Metro City’s night traffic, the city lights gleaming in this never sleeping place, he keeps his head low as he goes, so stressed he finds himself clutching the wheel so hard it threatens to snap. The leather of his gloves scrunches.

They (he; she’s still knocked out) drive out of the midnight city into the rolling countryside, past the lake and past the forests. Lush green hillsides and vast farm lands. He can hear the road scratch under the car tires as asphalt turns into gravel and dirt.

After about forty minutes of driving, he can tell Roxanne is beginning to stir. Quickly, he pulls up beside a huge oak tree in the middle of no where, and void of another living soul for miles.

Well. There is a cow outside but it’s like, ten feet away minding its own business.

As the car comes to a stop, he turns the key and all is instantly quiet.

With a soft grunt, Roxanne squirms in her seat and consciousness slowly comes to. He doesn’t watch her, choosing to star at his bony knees and twiddle his thumbs. All he can hear is her movements, and his own rapidly beating heart.

“M…Mmm?” Her eyes slowly open, blinking in the dim atmosphere. Her eyes then open wider, and she looks around for the usual sights of a kidnapping. Seeing as they’re only in the car, and her mouth is taped, she abruptly begins to struggle.

“Wait!” He says frantically, trying to calm her like one would do for a wild horse. “It’s okay! This isn’t a kidnapping! Well, technically it is but it’s just us—“

“MMM!?” She starts to work her mouth through the tape in earnest, tongue visibly trying to lick at the stickiness.

“Please, wait! This is—I just want to tell you something. Something… important. I promise on my ancestors that you have full permission and more to beat me outside but… please. Just listen to me. Please, Miss Ritchi.”

Her struggling stops, and she turns to him with a suspicious glare. He bows his head, flushing in shame. She hates me.

Though she’s trapped him under an intense stare, snaring him more than he had with her, Roxanne goes still as if awaiting for whatever stupid thing he’s got to say to her.

“I… want to apologize, for my behavior two weeks ago. It was unforgivable.”

“Mm.”

“But—I… I…”

She glares harder. Ashamed of himself, he turns his stare to the dashboard.

“I love you.”

He doesn’t look up to catch her reaction, but she doesn’t respond verbally.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He bangs his forehead against the steering wheel with each confession, feeling all the pint up emotions in him pouring out like water from a broken dam. It burns his insides with glorious relief and bittersweet shame all at once. Yet it keeps flowing. “And I’m so, so sorry. It’s—not my choice, Miss Ritchi. I can’t help it. My b-body…Ah—s—“ he stutters, so anxious it’s close to making him piss himself. He can feel it claw at this throat, threatening tears. “My species… we d-don’t have crooches, like a human. We… fall in love. Hard. And once. Only once. Once and only with one person. And that’s it. We mate for life, like doves. Or beavers. Wolves. I-It doesn’t matter. But once the relationship is formed that’s it. Cheating or finding a second love if the other leaves or dies is purely an earthly concept. My own p-parents, they—they only had eyes for each other. Sex or romance wasn’t even a concept I understood before I met y—…. I didn’t chose you, Miss Ritchi. I didn’t want this to happen. You don’t deserve this. I’ve already turned your life into a living hell, and for that I cannot apologize enough, even onto my grave. My transgressions are unforgivable. Yet, even being here on Earth I cannot…. There is no place for me. My planet, it’s… I’m all that’s left. And Minion. I didn’t think I could possibly imprint on anyone, much less a human, in this way. Yet… I am so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have known…”

She’s fidgeting ever so softly beside him, he hears the crinkle of the tape.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he takes in a staggering breath, wet tears rolling down his sharp face and trickling on his lips. Salty like the sea.

He can’t bring himself to speak again in fear of weeping like a damn baby, but he feels as vulnerable as one in the moment. Weak. Childish. Pathetic.

The car falls into a silence, with his shaky breaths and a light breeze rolling against the windows. Other than that, it’s as quiet as a void. He glances at her from the corner of his eye, and sees her staring outside at the cow as if it had done something personal to disrespect her.

They sit in silence for a long time.

“I’m done,” he suddenly says.

He hears her move around again.

“I’m… I’m done. With this business,” he gestures to himself in general, to the car, to his gun. “I mean, there are things you don’t know about. Things I’ve done behind cameras. In the underworld. I’ve committed enough sins to last multiple lifetimes over. There’s blood on my hands. Miss Ritchi. Like you wouldn’t believe. And… I’m going to give it up. I can’t keep doing this…

“This such a archaic concept for me. Aah, uh, did you know… Of course you wouldn’t… The males, sometimes even the females, of my kind have to… catch the other sometimes. To express that they feel the same way. Avoids miscommunication or misplaced feelings. My own father… had to sneak into my mother’s household as teenagers to propose to her. It’s—I didn’t even realize it until recently I was courting you! Unconsciously! I’m—God I’m so sorry, Miss Ritchi. I just need to go away. “

She lets out a muffled sound again.

“I’m moving from this place,” he looks around at the vast farmland, the dot of the city in the distance, reflected by his rear-view mirror. “Romania sounds nice. I do a lot of business over there. Lots of forests and hillsides where there’s no one for miles. I can’t bother you or anyone out th—”

Roxanne suddenly spits.

Looking over to her in surprise, he sees she has vanquished the duck tape and has rolled it up in her mouth to spit it onto the dashboard. Turning on one hip, she faces him with such a glower it chills him to the very bone.

“Don’t. You. Dare,” she hisses.

He shrinks in his seat.

“Don’t you dare drop this on me and say you’re just gonna leave!” She yells, pulling against her taped wrists. He opens his mouth to let out a string of never ending apologies, but—she’s starting to cry, he sees, much to his absolute horror. Has he truly upset her this bad? He really was a monster.

“How—you stupid, stupid man,” she cries out, and suddenly—he sees her raise her arms, still taped by the wrist, and he honestly thinks he’s about to be hit when—

She loops her arms around his big blue head and latches onto his neck, yanking him closer and making him clumsily fall onto the stick shift as—

Her mouth is on his. So hard do their mouths come together that their teeth clack, faces clashing together he barely has time to process what’s happening. Gasping, hands wild and unsure in the air as she seemingly tries to suck his soul out, but—he knows what’s happening, mildly, but a bigger part of him is convinced he’s dreaming or hit his head.

The feeling of her lips touching his, though, is electrifying. Every nerve in his body begins to sing and scream all at once, overwhelming him with a sensation override. She moans and presses closer, both of them awkward and clumsy as they clutch at the other from opposite seats. Clutched… he feels his hand involuntarily grab her waist, holding his close but terrified he’s mixing the signals. It feels so so so good, though, and—

She pulls away before he can even realize he was responding back, albeit unsurely. Arms locked around his neck, he mentally curses himself for tying her up. But. It felt like the thing to do at the time.

“You listen to me you son of a bitch,” she viciously spats. “You come to my place, ten’o’freakin’clock at night, and tell me you love me only then to say you’re leaving? What the actual hell!?”

He attempts to pull back, hide in his shell, run away from her furious reprimand, but his neck is still trapped by her arms. Shit. Really a bad decision to tie her up. The alien’s prepared to say something, anything, to show how much of a lowly creature he is in her light, but all that comes out of his throat are choked warbles and whimpers. “I—“

She sniffles.

He meets her eyes in surprise to see two glassy blue orbs meeting his. Frantically, he try to console the weepy female by nervously patting her back. “Ah—M-Miss Ritchi—“

“You were such an A-hole,” she says, sobbing. “Megamind, for once you were actually cruel. It scared me.”

“Oh, oh my dear—No, no, my sweet, no! I wasn’t—“ he swallows. “I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was just frustrated. With myself. With my instincts. I—if I behaved any less I would have made a fool of myself.”

“Well, you already did that by yelling at me, you cabbage.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“You made me feel like a whore the last kidnapping.”

He remembers that dress she wore. Wine red, rimmed in black. His... comment to it. Megamind bows his head and clenches his whole body. “I am sorry.”

“And you made me worry about you. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Confused, he looks up at her. Roxanne then pulls at her arms and lets him go from between them. Gesturing with her wrists, he catches her drift and pulls out his trusted butterfly knife and whips it out, glad to have something to do with a tool he’s familiar with. Nothing else felt familiar; alien and strange.

As the plastic finally rips away, her skin safe from his sharp little friend, she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him to her again. Eyes wide, he numbly feels her kiss him a few quick, consecutive times before—

She slaps him in the chest.

He’s nearly got a concussion from how bad the whiplash is.

“Is it true?” Roxanne demands. He’s unable to speak. “Is it true? Do you love m—“

“Yes. Yes, I love you. A million times over.”

This little woman shakes her head, eyes glistening with something he can’t begin to understand. He feels like he’s drowning, with a weight tied to his feet to prevent him to swimming to the surface. He can't breath. She then grabs onto his shoulders. Shaking her head again, she says, “Then don’t go to Romania. Don’t leave Metro City. This place is our-your home.”

“Miss Ritchi, I can’t… stay around you anymore,” his voice breaks. “I can’t without—“

Her lips are on his again.

Shocked, but rapidly trying to learn this new skill she’s apparently trying to teach him, he responds as best he can. Periwinkle blue to unpainted pink, their lips press against each other, seining the warmth and the wet of the other’s mouth. He once saw this activity between lovers an unsanitary and strange thing, but now he understands its meaning. His lips are quite sensitive, and this kissing sets his body to flame, scrambling towards something he can’t seem to catch.

When she pulls away, he follows her, not wanting this connection to end. A tiny bead of saliva snaps between them as their lips depart.

“For such a genius, you can be unbelievably dense.” She cups his face. “I love you Megamind."

What.

"God, I love you. And your behavior, this month—I thought you’d finally lost it. Or just got tired of me.”

His first instinct is to respond yes, yes he has lost it, completely and utterly, but—

“You—you what—“

Roxanne shakes her head again, this time smiling so wide that it nearly reaches her ears, all pearly whites on display for him. She lets him go, finally, letting him think straight. Which is bad because his brain runs in about five hundred directions. Blinking rapidly to disperse the tears in her wet lashes, she continues with, “I’m glad you told me this. Because—I was considering on moving as well.”

He jolts in his seat.

“I sometimes get job offers in other places. This time… I had an offer in Liverpool.”

“Leeverpul!? What’s can you find in Leeverpul?”

“I like the British accent. And it’s far, far away from here.”

Hapless, he stares at his knees.

“Hey,” she pulls him out of his stupor. “Look at me. That’s better. Now. That stuff you said about… imprinting on me? Is that true, too?”

“All of it,” he breaths.

Roxanne nods her head and leans back against the leather seats. “Then listen to me. I love you with all of my heart. I have for a long time, Megamind. So it hurt me, so, so much with how much of a dick you were suddenly turning into. You may as well have stabbed me in the heart.” He winces. “And then you just up and vanished. Gone. Everyone is talking about you!”

He can’t believe what she’s saying. It’s nothing like he ever imagined happening in any probable outcome of this. She… actually… returned his feelings? What??? What witchcraft is this!? He really must’ve bumped his head hard!

“I... know. I see the news. I see my lack of an appearance in the public eye has given you less work… Ah, are you sleeping better?”

She looks at him in confusion.

“You were always falling asleep.”

Roxanne lets out a loud sigh. “I know… I know…”

“Why.” It isn’t a question.

“I always thought you were just a bit ol’sweetheart that grew up on the wrong side of the law. I fall in love with you a little harder every time you goof around like that. I hate that you’re always destroying something or trying to start a fight, but it was a little endearing.” She lets out another loud exhale. “And then you started acting like I was shit under your shoe.”

“N—!“

She raises a hand, and he immediately goes silent.

"So I started drinking. Tried to drink the pain away. But that doesn't work," her voice breaks a bit.

He wants to bang his head against the wall.

“And I hate that you dragged me out here,” she motions toward the countryside. “You don’t have to ship yourself off to God knows where, but stopping the kidnapping would be nice. Even if it’s apart of your… culture.”

“Whatever-Whatever you desire," he swears reverently.

“What I desire,” she says, placing a hand on his knee, “is for you to take me home.”

He nods, expecting that answer.

“And I want you to come up with me. We’re gonna have a talk.”

“O-kay...?”

Suddenly she leans over again and presses his lips to his cheek. With his breath hitching, because its still a lovely, foreign feel to him, she adds, “And then I’m going to show you how much I love you, too.”

“W—“

“I know you, Megamind. I can see it in your face. Now. Take us home, sweetheart.” She kisses his lips again.

This time he knows what to do, and copies her actions better than before. It feels like fireworks.

He’s glad he told her.

#megamind #nightcall #megarox

[xiii-jb-46]

Monster

A lot of words

Warning: Sadness, slight mention of suicide (very little)

"Sweet pea!" I yell has he throws a vase at the wall.

I stood there crying until he stopped raging out. It was all over me being out too late.

"You couldve gotten hurt and so could our baby!" He says and I couldnt stand him being this angry anymore.

"Im sick of you always getting angry Sweet pea. We need to end this! This relationship is making us monsters and it hurts. What happens when our daughter will be born and we are still fighting? Its bad sweet pea." I sobbed with the final drop of tear rolls down my cheek.

"Fine." He agrees and help me pack my things.

"I guess this goodbye Sweet pea." I choked out with a slight tone of guilt in my voice and heart. I hope I don't regret this.

"I guess." I get into my car and drive to my friend Betty's house and cry in her arms.

I would be lying if I said I wouldnt be hurt by this. We dated for 3 years and we were slowling turning to monsters. We would fight over little things and then we would make up then the cycle continued. It was a dangerous love.

_______________

Its been a month since Sweet pea and I broke up and the our daughter was born. To be honest I haven't even thought of name since I wanted sweet pea's input but I didn't want to walk up to him and go hey let's talk baby names and she was only just born 5 days ago but Sweet pea might have been tough on the out side but he was a puppy at heart. While I was walking to pops I accidentally bump into someone and quickly apologised.

"Y/N?" The guy says and I look up to see Jughead.

"Hey do you wanna catch up?" He says and nod. I had nothing else to do and deep down I wanted to know what he was doing, Sweet pea.

We sat in a a booth and he had bought me my food which was suspicious because Jughead nevers buy me good, ever. Even when I beg.

Dont get me wrong though he is nice and sweet but he was being too much.

"Where is the little serpent princess?" He asked

"With Betty and Alice."

"Jughead?" He hummed as he bites his fries.

"Cut to the point. Why did you invite me to pops?" He sighed and looked at me leaning into his chair.

"Well you see sweet pea has been depressed lately and unfortunately it started when you two ended. I know you two had a huh bad relationship as you called it but you two were made for each other. What I am saying is go check up on him and it might make him happy." I nod starring at my food and then eating it.

"He isn't being his usual self, is he?" Jughead nods quite quickly while sipping his milkshake.

"He says it isn't the same without you." He says making me think for a bit. I decided to go back and see if what he said was right.

Jughead knocks on the door to Sweet pea's trailer. "Its open." We walk in and I see a drunk sweet pea laying on the couch facing his TV that wasn't even on.

"Jones, Did you bring my cookies and cream?"

He says which made me smile.

"Yes and more." Sweet pea gets up and stares at me.

"Y/N?" He looked sad and guilty that it almost made me cry. I ran to him and hugged him tightly finally crying his chest. He finally responded to the sudden contact.

"I miss you Y/N"

"And I dont know what to do anymore." He sobs as I could feel his tears.

"My head is a fucking mess. I dont want to miss you anymore." I nodded in his shirt as he broke down.

"I miss you too."

"Well isnt this sweet." I hear from the front door. Their Malachai was leaning on the door frame.

"I thought you were still in jail." Jughead said standing beside me. Sweet pea didn't cry anymore. His tears were gone and his eyes were no longer puffy.

"Well you thought wrong." He pulled out gun and I was ready to fight. I don't really know what I was gonna do but if I have to jump to save someone then I will. Serpents protect their own.

"Bye sweet pea. Is it?." He shoots and I immediately push sweet pea out the way. The bullet went into my rib cage. The impact caused me to stumbled back but sweet pea caught me just before I hit the ground. I touched were it hurt and when I lifted my hands to my eyes the blood ran down my hand like water. Jughead ran out to go catch Malachai but I knew he was long gone.

I looked at my hands that had blood covered in them again and looked up at sweet pea who was crying. I touched his face caressing it and smiled at him.

"I love you Sweet pea. I will always watch over you. Don't hold back and stay here. Go to university and turn this shit hold of a town into something better. For our chile to grow up in." Was the last words I said before everything went black.

"No baby don't leave me! Baby wake up. Princess?" He tried to wake you up but nothing worked.

"No no no I love you Y/N please just wake up." He crys and Jughead tried to tell him to take me to the hospital but Sweet pea they could do nothing but declare your death as a murder.

_________________

Sweet pea looked down at the head stone. The pain in his chest couldn't be described . The love of his life had died protecting someone who made her pain and love.she deserved someone better is all he thought as he held their daughter's hand.

"Who is that daddy?" The small cute voice asked looking up at her father.

"You mother darling." He placed the flowers down and stayed kneeling.

"We have the same name." She giggled. If it wasn't for their daughter her would have given up on life but he dying wish for him to make the place they lived in a better place

"How did she die?"

"Protecting me from a bad man sweet heart." She nods and hugged her father.

"You can cry daddy. I won't tell aunty Toni or uncle fangs or uncle Jughead or Papa FP." She continues the list making him giggle.

"You always know how to make me happy." They hold hands and leave the cemetery with memories and laughter.

#sweetpea imagine #southside serpents #sweetpea x reader #sweet pea #romance #jughead jones #riverdale #crying #tears #the feels are real

[falteringfaith]

20 things I learned in 2020

1. The only certainty in life is uncertainty.

This is obviously true in the case of, you know, a global pandemic, but even moreso is the way this permeates every aspects of our life on earth. Fundamentally, nothing in certain. No time has ever been ‘precedented’. This year was a reminder of that, but so was clerkship in general. Every month, every new rotation forced me to confront the difficulties I had managing uncertainty. As a person who needs to know EVERYTHING at all times, I was forced to accept that I simple could not know it all in these clinical scenarios. This doesn’t mean it made it any easier to deal with - I still get pretty anxious the night before a new rotation, but I certainly deal with it easier than before. 

2. Ask for help.

Ask and so you shall receive! Why stumble around the hospital by yourself, sweating anxiously and checking your watch nervously as the minutes tick by closer to when you’re supposed to be at X or Y destination, when you can ask someone who is (in my experience - literally always) willing to help? Now, I stride in and ask the first person I see where I can find what I am looking for. People want to help - you just need to ask. Whether its for finding something or letting someone you can confide in know that you’re struggling - ask.

3. You are what you do every day. 

Aristotle said it best, so I won’t mince his words. What we spend our time doing each day reflects what is valuable and important to us. This year, for the first time in my life, I began to work out for myself and made it a habit. I wasn’t doing it to lose weight, to participate on a team, or for any other reason than for me. I noticed myself get stronger, happier, feel better. I made it a habit to the point where when I don’t do it, I feel off. I didn’t think this was something that was possible for me - rather, that I was destined to a life of just not being an exercise person. But here’s the thing - everyone is and can be an exercise person. You just have to be doing it for the right reasons - for wanting to move your body in a meaningful way each day because thats what makes it feel right. I hope to come to love my body and all it does for me in the coming years. I would lie to say that I love and am truly accepting of it right now, because I know I am not. But I do know that I am treating it a whole lot better than I ever have before.

4. Be vulnerable/STOP PEOPLE PLEASING

Holy fuck --- this !!!!!!!! You do not need to have it all figured out. You do not need to pretend that you are unphased by things or that you are the ~chill~ girl. This does not benefit anyone, and it certainly does not benefit yourself. People want honesty. They want to know how you’re feeling. All you do by shutting that away is harbor negativity and resentment that end up exploding later. I was taught to hide these emotions growing up for whatever reason - shame, embarrassment, whatever - but I will stop doing this. You cannot begin to unpack the why of how you are feeling, and try to achieve more, if you don’t do this. You should be open and raw - tell people why you love them (like when you messaged people you felt grateful for over twitter and facebook last summer) or why you felt badly about things (like you did in your relationship). You deserve to be heard.

5. Take a walk.

The power of going for a walk to clear your headspace and give you time away was truly found this year. Nature is grounding. Fresh air feels like it lifts the weight off your chest. Spend time outdoors - don’t feel badly if you cant - and breathe deeply. Feel the earth against your feet as you propel forward and deal with emotions. Whether it was 5 minutes between virtual clinics or 5 hours walking around when you were upset and in an argument with Felipe, taking a walk was the answer.

6. People like people that they like.

This year, in clerkship, I learned that it is not always important to be the smartest or wisest or wittiest. You dont even have to be smart, wise or witty. You just have to be trying, responsible, likable. A good team player. On most days, being just me, at my baseline, was more than enough. I think this year I realized that I am likeable (or affable) as one of my strengths. It was the CL psych nurses (Karen telling me “you are a star” on my last day and making me tear up on my walk down the hill back to my car parked on Strachlan), or it was the R3 on gen surg (”you have a good energy”) or whoever else. Not necessarily things or fields I knew the most about, but just who I am. And that was nice to hear. Stop the imposter syndrome - you are enough.

7. Non-fiction books can be enjoyable.

Fiction is still better, but there is lots to be learned in a good non fiction.

8. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

You bawled your eyes out on your birthday morning, at Felipe’s house on James. You sat on the balcony and couldn’t control all the tears that wanted to come out. It was blackout tuesday, and where was the validation that your year MEANT something if it wasn’t shown via birthday posts on instagram? More than this, people ARE DYING IN A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, SARA. And even moreso than that, you were flooded with, dare I say, WHITE GUILT that this was the way you were feeling in the midst of pronounced racial, civil unrest. For the first time, I think you were really confronted - every day, for weeks - with the fact that you were white. You knew this before, of course, but this was blaring at you from every angle, even on your fucking birthday. And here’s the thing - things will never go bac to the way they were, when you were afforded the privilege of being blissfully ignorant and unaware of your race. When it wasn’t something you had to think about, at all, because you were obviously part of the majority and benefiting from your race in innumerable ways each and every day. We’re not going back there. The only way forward is through. Get over your guilt, we’ve got shit to do.

9. External vs. Internal validation

I think this year you really realized how much you depend on external validation to feel valued and confident. I wish for you to see in the coming years how much more you are than just what people tell you. You are bold, brilliant, confident, clever and strong because you are - not because others tell you so. 

10. Recognizing my emotional dysregulation 

This year, I became a lot more aware of the fact that I emotionally dysregulate and have extreme tempers or profound sadness with a baseline of general bubbly/contentment/joy. Now, it’s going to be all about managing it...

11. Envy/comparison is a thief of joy.

12. You’ll never know if you don’t try.

I am proud of all the ways in which you put yourself out there this year and applied to things. You got rejected - a lot. Whether it was awards and scholarships (OMA ambassador, all the general scholarships through MacMed) or leadership opportunities (where to begin? OMSA day of action lead or even being part of the OMSA day of action), or the million times you vowed that you would not apply for Ontario Regional Director. There were so many times that week you wanted to quit - to not write a script, to not attend a zoom session, to pull out even when you just saw the competition - but you didn’t. You learned a lot, you practiced giving a zoom speech, and you chatted with some interesting people. You lost the election, but you personally did not lose anything. While at that time it was a tough pill to swallow, here you are. Now you have more time to dedicate to your YWCA partnership, and isn’t that a beautiful thing after all?

13. Stop putting things off - do them right away!

Still working on it lol.

14. Popcorn

15. Being a good friend/girlfriend/daughter is a skill. 

Noone ever tells you, I feel, that having strong, close relationships is hard work. You can’t just sit idly by. You also can’t expect that giving a gift or saying some nice words is enough. Especially in a year of social distancing - you had to get creative. Face times, flowers delivered, watching netflix simultaneously on the extension with Felipe (money heist anyone?), zoom hang outs, picnics at Oakville lakeshore, scheduling monthly hang outs with Sharon.. relationships are about making the time and investing into it like you would with anything else. You don’t necessarily have to be doing fancy things like this either - but emotional intimacy is important and necessary, too.

16. If you’re not doing it because you love it, it won’t give you any contentment.

All the extracurriculars in the world don’t matter if they dont make you tick. 

17. The opportunity for learning/gratitude is everywhere.

Whether its from patients sitting right in front of you (listen to them, always), podcasts, or anywhere else. There are opportunities to learn all around you. Likewise, there are always, ALWAYS things to be grateful for. Take a moment to pause and think about what you learned or are grateful for in a day. There is always something.

18. You’re actually really good at procedures.

Why did you think you weren’t? Were you indoctrinated to believe that only men were good with their hands? Regardless... don’t be nervous. You’re good at them!

19. Routine, good nights of sleep are not overrated. Not at all. 

20. Residents are the unsung heroes of the medical student experience. They make or break a rotation, and influence it more than any other factor. Future Sara you better be a fucking good resident to your med students.

Honourable mention goes to this awesome moment this year that I almost forgot happened, but thankfully tweeted about - “No better way to spend International Women’s Day than on the Labour & Delivery floor witnessing the strength, power & tenacity of mama’s in labour! First delivery of the day - unmedicated () with a beautiful baby girl joining the world!”

Another honourable mention to coming together with a fun crew to create COVIDreview, which unexpectedly got lots of media attention and praise but, most of all, was a fun way to get to know people in my class that I didn’t normally speak to.

On other notes, I will cherish the fact that I got to spend 3 months in my parents home with them for the first time in many, many years. We watched movies, did yoga, baked (a LOT), and went for many, many, repetitive walks. I love them more than words can describe and cannot imagine a life without my parents (and my brother). My family is everything.

I am also very appreciate to be in a relationship with Felipe that is constantly pushing me to be better and to recognize things about myself I didn’t know (or didn’t want to know). These things sometimes upset me, but ultimately I recognize they are important for my growth and leading me into becoming more of who I want to be. I am learning so much about myself, what I need and want in a partner, and how to communicate more effectively to convey these things (versus not communicating this at all in the past). Things aren’t always easy but I cherish the moments that happened this year (starting the year off travelling Arizona with him, meeting his sister/niece/nephew, him meeting my family, coming to Blue Mountain, going on an impromptu trip to Niagara, all the biking expeditions, going to Stratford for his birthday!!). I also must (MUST!!!!!) stop comparing my relationships to others. 

Overall, I find it ironic that the year marked by a GLOBAL PANDEMIC is the year where I was finally forced to stop, pause, and prioritize my health. My physical health, in building a habit for fitness that finally stuck, my emotional health in learning to recognize what I want in relationships and *starting* to ask for it/be vulnerable, and my mental health in taking the time for sleep, walks, and meditation (sometimes more than others). Lets continue to take these lessons into 2021. 

[hayjeon]

Flirt Lane (ft. Jeongguk)

Drabble game prompt 53. “I’m flirting with you.” → shy!jk, aka furious amounts of fluff (from the BTS in 10 years!au) → 2.5k words

A/N: Highly recommend reading both Yoongi’s and Tae’s versions of this au! It’ll make a little more sense :) Thanks for requesting to my beautiful bby mutual, @dat-town <3 Sorry if it’s not what you expected :( but pls feel free to request more to all my readers! 

You’re feet are killing you, as you scurry around the chapel, careful to take your gig seriously as you snap pictures of every aesthetic scene you can possible capture in the hustle of the wedding. 

Picture of the altar, check. 

Picture of the bride and her bridesmaids, check.

Picture of the groom and his parents, check. 

Snapshot of his members, check. 

Side-view of the flowers lining the entrance, check. 

Long-shot of the entrance, che-- oh shit.

You panic as you screen zooms up on the face you’d been dreading to see since this spring. It was your ex-boyfriend, Jaehyun. 

The asshole of all assholes, you dated him for about four months before you caught him fucking one of the secretaries in the office the both of you worked at. After the confrontation, he’d revealed to you that there was a bet that him and his other asshole friends had made, trying to see which one of them could date you the fastest, explaining the odd way the rest of his friends had vied for your attention out of the blue. 

You left that company long ago, wanting more for yourself than just a business office job for yourself, and had been freelancing with a smaller company that focused on photography and videography. You remembered taking and loving the classes on those subjects back in college, and had decided that the incident with Jaehyun was the final push for you to escape out of your comfort zone and go do what you wanted. 

The only problem was, smaller companies definitely were a investment, and you weren’t exactly making way too much as a photographer, which was why your friend had recommended you to the bride. You’d wanted to desperately become famous and successful and show the asshole what he was missing, but you were definitely not prepared for him to walk through the door with the eye candy on his arm, looking as good as ever. 

So you do what any woman does in an emergency situation. You panic and grab the first thing you see and dive behind it, making sure to hide your face as you peek out behind it. 

Jungkook is minding his business as well, doing the job as Yoongi’s ex-member and groomsmen to greet old friends and new faces as they walk into the chapel. He was in charge of greeting and guiding guests to their tables, but had stepped out to take a quick bathroom break and was on his way back when you’d grabbed him by the sleeve and practically used him as a human shield. 

He let out a sound of protest, a choked out gurgle of surprise, and you shushed him, hissing into his ear. 

“I’m so sorry but please be quiet and act natural!” 

He sputters, straightening himself up and spinning around you face you. “E-excuse me?” 

He recognizes you as the photographer Yoongi hired for the wedding, the girl who’d scurried here and there behind the lens for the duration of the rehearsal and the set-up. He’d admired your skill with the lenses and when Yoongi showed him some example stills, Jungkook was pretty impressed with the way you skillfully balanced contrast and exposure to create the perfect shot of the altar. 

But he never imagined meeting you in this way.

“I’m so sorry, but please, just hide me,” you reply, ducking your head down as you try to maneuver yourself in a way that hides your petite figure behind his larger one. He stutters, unable to compose himself when a girl who is as pretty as you is practically inches away from his chest, the scent of your shampoo filling his nose and making him blink too much. 

His hands start to sweat and he steps back, only to have you actually step back to get a good look at who he was. Your shocked eyes meet his round ones as he sees you registering his face from the wedding rehearsal, “Y-you’re Jeon Jungkook?!” you hiss, whatever you were hiding from, forgotten. You knew that there would be celebrities at the wedding, but no one had told you they’d be this close.

He nods hesitantly, eyes darting everywhere else besides your doe-eyed gaze. “Uh, y-yes?” He was a lot shyer than you’d expected, unable to meet your gaze as his wide eyes betrayed how surprised he was at the intrusion of his space. You step back politely, smoothing down your dress and trying to figure out how to explain to an ex-celebrity that you were currently trying to use him as a human block to avoid confrontation with your ex. 

You’re about to say something, but then suddenly your eyes grow round and Jungkook turns around as the third company sneers, “Y/N? Fancy meeting you here, how long has it been, 5, 6 months?” 

A handsome guy dressed in a white turtleneck and tux jacket on top saunters up with a girl who looks oddly like one of the ex-girl group members Jungkook would see stripping their clothes off on stage only to be booed off back in the day. But he watches in interest as your surprise melds into a look of steely determination as you balance your lens in one hand and the other on your hip, glaring down at the man.

“Honestly, Jaehyun, I dont remember how long its been since you cheated on me, so no, don’t really fancy meeting you here.” You sneer, flipping your hair over your shoulder as you roll your eyes and give the plastic girl on his arm a once-over. 

He snorts, wrapping an arm around the shoulder of the girl he came with. “Aw, Y/N, you’re still bitter about that? Get a life.” 

Jungkook whips his head to glare at the guy. He had no idea who you were and what the story was, but for a man to be insulting a lady like that was downright wrong, in his book. His hyungs had practically raised him, yes, but they didn’t raise him to be a mule. 

“Excuse me, that is no way to speak to a lady.” He says, trying to make his softer voice a bit harder as he steps up besides you and meets Jaehyun’s sneer with a hard frown. He revels in the fact that he’s eye to eye with the tall guy, and squares his shoulders in an attempt to intimidate him. 

Jaehyun frowns as he sizes up Jungkook, frowning as he steps back to see the fit build of the guy, and recognizes him as one of the popular faces in the kpop industry. The girl on his arm lets out a soft gasp and immediately he whips his head towards her to see her eyes grow large and her mouth drop open as she realizes its Jeon Jungkook in front of her at the moment. 

He rolls his eyes and faces Jungkook again, quirking an eyebrow. “Mind your own business.” 

You frown, as Jungkook steps in. But he beats you to respond. “Actually, it is my business.”

Jaehyun sneers, “What’s it to you?” 

Jungkook doesn’t really know where it comes from. Maybe its the fact that he’d been through only two relationships since the group ended a few years back, and he was devastated at how much it hurt to be cheated on and knew how you felt at the moment. Maybe it was how your cute little lavender dress caught his attention during the rehearsal and he’d argued with himself in trying to muster up enough courage to ask you how to use the 450 lens versus the other ones, but you were a bit too pretty and he was a bit too shy to actually approach you. 

But nonetheless, he blurts out, “I’m her boyfriend.” as he puts an arm around your shoulder and yanks you close. He can feel you tense beneath him as you whip your chin up to stare at him for a split second before you realize what he was doing. He feels like flying away when you step closer and wrap your free arm around his waist and smile at Jaehyun. 

“You’re dating her?” Jaehyun scoffs, unable to believe the scene in front of him. You thank your stars that you’d decided to actually wear a dress to this gig, because you knew some of the bridesmaids and decided it would be better than to show up in just jeans and a t-shirt like you usually did. Jungkook is dressed to the nines in a simple but clean cut tuxedo and he smells like heaven.

To Jaehyung’s question, Jungkook responds confidently, “Yes, it’s my pleasure. Took a while to convince her to date me, but it was worth all the effort.” 

Jaehyun taunts, “You know she’s a sucker for fairytales right?” He lets out a scoff. “She quit her job too.” 

Jungkook feels you tense as Jaehyun jabs you where it hurts. And Jungkook feels a rush of anger as he clenches his jaw for a second before giving Jaehyun the fakest sweet smile he can muster. “I’m glad she loves fairytales cause I can be the prince charming to her princess. And I guess she hasn’t bothered to keep up with you but she’s currently working at a beautiful company that’s being sponsored by a bunch of important guests today, so I’m pretty sure she’s doing better than you, who has to resort to bringing an escort as his date to the wedding of the year. But I mean, do you man.” Jungkook gives Jaehyun a last cocky smirk and a shrug of his shoulders as he turns around and drags you along with him. 

You’re still sort of in shock at the insults Jungkook just fired at Jaehyun, but you smile secretly as he maneuvers you towards the altar with confident steps. The confidence only lasts for about three more seconds until you’re out of Jaehyun’s line of sight and Jungkook lets go of you with a huff and takes out a handkerchief from his pocket to dot at his hairline. 

He returns to the nervous little puppy he was when you grabbed him, and his eyes are wide open again and his shoulders cave in as his gaze stays on the ground. You’re left in shock at the whole ordeal as you watch him with nothing to say. 

Finally, he finishes and realizes you’re still here and his eyes go even wider as he stutters, “U-uh, I-i’m sorry if I intruded, he was being r-really rude and I didn’t think you deserved that because you definitely deserve more than that, and you’re really way way prettier than that girl he brought and he’s a horrible guy and--” 

You stop him, eyes wide as a playful smile glints on your lips. “Wait, what did you say?” 

Jungkook literally looks like a deer caught in headlights as he takes a moment to backtrack on what he’d just blubbered about. And his eyes, if possible, go even wider as they snap back up to yours as he realizes he’d just admitted you were really pretty and that you deserve better. The handkerchief drops to the ground as he tries to read your expression, but you have a small smile on your face that he can’t really determine is just a polite smile to get rid of the awkwardness or just amusement at what a mess he’s making of himself. 

“Uh, sorry! Sorry!” He repeats, “I didn’t mean to say it like that, sorry! I just meant to say that you’re really pretty and that guy was really a dick and I could do better, I mean,” he catches himself with a start, sputtering even more to cover up his slip-up, “I mean! No, like only if you want, and I’m not saying you have to, but yeah the 450 lens?”  

You’re silent as you take in everything he’d just said to you. Then your face breaks out in a smile and a loud laugh and he’s shyly laughing along with you because he has no idea what that means and he feels more sweat coming. 

“Hahahaha!” You’re clutching your stomach as you witness the nervous boy in front of you. “Jungkook, right?” 

He nods. 

You smile at him, because seeing the guy in front of you literally sweating in nervousness and so shy he can’t get his words straight is so endearing. “My name is Y/N.” You stick out your hand and he takes it, not before wiping it furiously on his pants before taking it. Still, you can feel how damp they are with his nervousness. 

Smiling as you let go, you pat him on the shoulder. “Thank you so much, for what you did back there. Definitely, you’re right. Jaehyun did deserve that. How about I take you out to lunch, and take up your offer to thank you for you did?” 

His eyes are legit two huge circles as a smile breaks out on his face. “A-are you serious?” 

You smile, nodding. “I gotta get back to work now, but definitely I’d be happy to let you take me out on a date.” You wink at him and you walk away and Jungkook picks up the handkerchief and dots his hairline as he realizes he’d just sort of not really snagged a date with you. 

[To: Jungkook]: So what time can you pick me up? 

[From: Jungkook]: Oh! Yes! Sorry! How does tomorrow 4 sound? Late lunch?

[To: Jungkook]: Sounds perfect! See you there! And you looked really good today, you should wear that tux a little more often. 

[To: Jungkook]: 346.jpg file

[From: Jungkook]: Wow when did u capture this? I really like it! 

[To: Jungkook]: I have a few more I can show u :) it wasn’t hard getting good shots of you. 

[From: Jungkook]: Huh?

You smile, as you type it into your phone. He’s literally sitting a few feet away from you at the head of the table with the bride and groom and is boredly typing into his phone. A giggle comes up when you see his entire face go into shock at your blatant flirting. 

[From: you]: I’m flirting with you Jungkook ;) 

He looks up from his table and goes wide-eyed at you, ignoring the odd stares from his other members as he gawks at you. But then a small smile graces his open lips and he meets your gaze with a wide smile. 

[From: Jungkook]: Hell yes 

You giggle and look up and he’s still staring at his screen, typing furiously. 

[From: Jungkook]: The prettiest girl in the room is flirting with ME?!

[From: Jungkook]: actually I can’t wait, are you busy tonight for a movie after the wedding?

[To: jungkook]: Um isn’t the bride supposed to be the prettiest? I’m telling.

[From: Jungkook]: My hyungs taught me not to be a liar. 

#bts fluff #bts fics #jungkook fluff #jungkook fics #fics #drabbles #drabble game #jungkook drabbles #jungkook oneshots #bts drabbles #bts oneshots #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfics #jungkook smut #jungkook imagines

[we-are-all-of-legend-now]

Never Say Goodbye Playlist: Part Three

Youtube Playlist

|Part One | Part Two|

Part Three: Reader Recommendations

A Drop In The Ocean - Ron Pope

It's just a drop in the ocean, A change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together, It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, But I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven

All I Want - Kodaline

All I want is nothing more, To hear you knocking at my door, 'Cause if I could see your face once more, I could die a happy man I'm sure, When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside, I lay in tears in bed all night, Alone without you by my side

Always Remember Me - Ry X ft Sara Bareilles

Watch me as I fall, Into the water calling, Watch me as I sink, Into the sea and always remember, Me.

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

I have died every day waiting for you, Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you, For a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more, And all along I believed I would find you, Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more

At Your Door - Nate Walcott/Mike Mogis ft. Big Harp

And if you be my home, Then I won't need no roof, And I won't need no walls, I need you, And that's all, That's all

Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson

But the telephone is singing, Ringing, It's too early, Don't pick it up, We don't need to, We got everything, We need right here, And everything we need is enough, Just so easy, When the whole world fits inside of your arms, Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm? Wake up slow, mmm mm, wake up slow

Barbie Bandaids - The Isaacs

And I know, that you're ready to take a step, But I'm not ready for that yet, All I see is my little girl in tears and curls, Watching you grow before my eyes, Letting you go one Barbie bandaid at a time.

Barefoot And Bruised - Jamestown Story

Maybe when your sky comes crashing down, I can be your angel on the ground, If you get tired and can't go on I will carry you along, when the rocks below your feet wear out your shoes, when you're barefoot and bruised

Beautiful Boy - Coleen McMahon (Chapter: 62)

Today you’re gone, Today you left me, You left me for heaven, I’m on my knees, Crying and begging, Please let me be dreaming

Better Love - Green River Ordinance

When I set out for ruined lands, Shadows heavy where I stand, You took death and called me friend, I can't find a better love 

Boys In The Street - Greg Holden

When I was younger, My daddy told me I would never, Never amount to nothing special, He'd come at me from every angle, He'd say You're the last thing I wanted the last thing I need, How am I gonna answer when my friends tell me, My son was kissing boys in the street

Butterfly Kisses - Westlife

Butterfly kisses after bed time prayer, Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair, Walk beside the pony daddy, it's my first ride, I know the cake looks funny daddy, But I sure tried, Oh with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right, To deserve a hug every morning, And butterfly kisses at night

Bright - Echosmith

Did you see that shooting star tonight? Were you dazzled by the same constellation? Did you and Jupiter conspire to get me? I think you and the Moon and Neptune got it right 'Cause now I'm shining bright (oh) so bright, And I get lost (oh) in your eyes

Burning House - Cam

The flames are getting bigger now, In this burning house, I can hold on to you somehow, In this burning house, Oh, and I don't wanna wake up, In this burning house

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me and just forget the world? I don't quite know, How to say, How I feel. Those three words, Are said too much, They're not enough

Christmas And Me Are  Through - Your Vegas

Laugh a little louder, Sing a little prouder, See you in the Rose and Crown, We'll raise a glass to this old town, Home is where the heart is, The end is where the start is, Have a happy holiday, Remember, boy, to smile when you frown, Out by the old church I can hear them sing, Long live the king

Close Your Eyes - Michael Buble

So close your eyes, Let me tell you all the reasons why babe, You're never going to have to cry baby, Because you're one of a kind, Yeah, here's to you, You're the one that always pulls us through, You always do what you got to do babe, 'Cause you're one of a kind., You're the reason why I'm breathing, With a little look my way, You're the reason that I'm feeling, It's finally safe to stay

Cold Is The Night - The Oh Hellos

Steady is the hand that's come to terms, With the lessons it has had to learn, I've seen the things that I must do, But Lord, this road is meant for two, So I am waiting here for you

Colors - Halsey

Everything is blue, His pills, his hands, his jeans, And now I'm covered in the colors, Pulled apart at the seams

Comatose - Skillet

Oh how I adore you, Waking up to you never felt so real, Oh how I thirst for you, Waking up to you never felt so real, Oh how I adore you, ohhhh. The way you make me feel, Waking up to you never felt so real

Come Home - OneRepublic ft Sara Bareilles

Come home, Come home, ‘Cause I’ve been waiting for you, For so long, For so long, Right now there's a war between the vanities, But all I see is you and me, The fight for you is all I’ve ever known, Ever known, So come home, Come home

Control - Halsey

I paced around for hours, on empty, I jumped at the slightest of sounds, And I couldn't stand the person inside me, I turned all the mirrors around, I'm bigger than my body, I'm colder than this home, I'm meaner than my demons, I'm bigger than these bones

Could I Have This Dance - Anne Murray

As we move together, I knew forever, you're all I'll ever need, Could I have this dance, for the rest of my life, Could you be my partner every night, when we're together, it feels so right, Could I have this dance for the rest of my life

Cross That Line - Joshua Radin (Chapter: 1)

Every time I lose myself I find, I'm left alone but you need to know, For you I'd break these walls, I'd choose to fall, I'm going to cross that line for you, I don't know the right way, wonder what you'd say if I let go

Dark Horse - Foy Vance

Hold me dark and hold me light, Hold me wrong and hold me right, Hope is a sword with both sides as sharp, As the other as sharp as the other, And it cuts you of course and it cuts to the heart 

Dear Sophie - Tim Halperin

Looking at you from my eyes to my heart, I knew that I loved you right from the start. You're lying there as still as could be, you open your eyes and you look back at me. So go on and dream as big as the sea but dont let the tide take you too far from me. Well go on and find who you wanna be and know that my love for you will never leave.

Don’t Forget Where You Belong - One Direction

I feel like I'm dreaming. Oh, so I know, I know, I know, I know that I'm never leaving. No, I won't go. Don't forget where you belong–home. Don't forget where you belong–home. If you ever feel alone–don't. You were never on your own. And the proof is in this song.

Drive - Halsey

Your laugh, echoes down the hallway, Carves into my hollow chest, spreads over the emptiness, It's bliss, It's so simple but we can't stay, Over analyze again, would it really kill you if we kissed, All we do is drive, All we do is think about the feelings that we hide, All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign, Sick and full of pride, All we do is drive

Even My Dad Does Sometimes - Ed Sheeran

So live life like you're giving up, Cause you act like you are, Go ahead and just live it up, Go on and tear me apart, It's alright to shake, Even my hand does sometimes, So inside we rage, Against the dying of the light, It's alright to say that deaths the only thing you haven't tried, But just for today, Hold on, So live life like you're giving up, Cause you act like you are, Go ahead and just live it up, Go on and tear me apart, Hold on

Fight Song - Rachel Platten

And all those things I didn't say, Wrecking balls inside my brain, I will scream them loud tonight, Can you hear my voice this time?

Footprints In The Sand - Leona Lewis (Chapter: 48)

I see my life, Flash across the sky, So many times have I been so afraid, And just when I, I thought I'd lost my way, You gave me strength to carry on, That's when I heard you say, I promise you, I'm always there, When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair, And I'll carry you, When you need a friend, You'll find my footprints in the sand

For You - Gavin James

Well maybe I don't give up easily, And I know this is hard to see, But I wish time would slow down, So I could keep your heart around , If I can make you stay another day, I'll wait another day for you, and for you

Fun - Troye Sivan

Let's go have fun, you and me in the old Jeep, Ride around town with our rifles on the front seat, Fun, you and me in the Middle East, Shooting at rocks, bullets cocked in the midday

Gasoline - Halsey

Well my heart is golden, my hands are cold, Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me? Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me? Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?

Ghost - Banners

All the ghosts, They float, float around us, How they turned all our dreams into dust, This ain't your mother, But darling there was no spark, left for us, We wonder part too, But lost I was, And now I know that here, here I am, Oh and here, here I am, Oh, hard to believe, It's said and done, hard to believe, It's not dead and gone, I want to believe, On this world and in this world, but I just can't, Convince myself

Goodbye - The Sweeplings

Trust me sweetheart I’ll be here, When the star light fades, right alongside you, I’ll bring you back from anywhere, If you’ll do the same, there’s no end here, I’m not willing to lose you, I’m not willing to say goodbye

Good In Goodbye - Carie Underwood

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt, I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved, Sometimes life leads you down a different road, When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go, Someday you’ll see the reason why, Sometimes, yeah, sometimes, there’s good in goodbye 

Guiding Light - Foy Vance ft Ed Sheeran

But there's a sign ahead, though I think it's the same one again, and I'm thinking 'bout my only friend,and so I find my way home. When I need to get home, you're my guiding light, you're my guiding light.

Happily Ever After - He Is We

Oh, happily ever after, wouldn’t you know, wouldn’t you know. Oh, skip to the ending, who’d like to know, I’d like to know. Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?

Harbour Lights -  A Silent Film

You and I know I had to leave, And the harbour lights, I cannot see, But you were my rock never my stepping stone. I held my tongue, I turn on my heels, I couldn't look back. I want you to know, That you were my rock never my stepping stone.

Hello - Adele

Hello, it's me, I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet, To go over everything, They say that time's supposed to heal ya, But I ain't done much healing, Hello, can you hear me, I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be, When we were younger and free, I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

Helplessly - Tatiana Manaois

See you distract me, but I'm distracted without you. I don't know how to focus baby teach me how to. Cause I'm standing still again, But if you love me, just like the way that I love you, I wouldn't mind a little comforting from you. Why do I let you in my head?

Here With Me - Dido

Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, But I can't hide, I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, Until you're resting here with me, I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, Until you're resting here with me

Here With You - Jake Nauta (Chapter: 95)

Part of me wants to love you,  Part of me knows I can't. A part of me is trying, But part of me isn't there. I don't want to hurt you,  But I know I will. A part of me wonders if you'll love me still. 

Higher - The Naked And Famous

Higher, higher, Tonight we raise the dead, Tonight we bury this in fire, fire, Under the shape of years, And the weight that brought us here 

Hold Each Other - A Great Big World ft Futuristic

I know that we've been through a lot, I know that we both grew up, You know I missed you a lot, When I was young I was dumb, Didn't think you'd fit in my plot, And I appreciate the break because I love what we got now, You give me chills and I can't imagine you leaving, If I could build a perfect person honestly you would be it, And you know nobody knows you like I know you, I can't wait to come back home so I can hold you

Home - Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeros

Laugh until we think we'll die, Barefoot on a summer night, Never could be sweeter than with you, And in the streets you run afree, Like it's only you and me, Geez, you're something to see.

How Could You Leave - Jamestown Story

These days I spend home alone, And replay all of our songs I'm praying you miss me too, Breezeways where we walked alone, Teach me you still ain't home, I'm doubting you miss me too 

Human - Christina Perri

But I'm only human, And I bleed when I fall down, I'm only human, And I crash and I break down, Your words in my head, knives in my heart, You build me up and then I fall apart, 'Cause I'm only human

I Don’t Dance - Lee Brice

No, I don't dance, but here I am, Spinning you round and round in circles, It ain't my style, but I don't care, I'd do anything with you anywhere, Guess you got me in the palm of your hand, girl, Cause, I don't dance, Ohhh, I don't dance

I Don’t Know What I Can Save You From (Röyksopp Remix) - Kings Of Convenience

You called me after midnight, must have been three years since we last spoke, I slowly tried to bring back, the image of your face from the memories so old, I tried so hard to follow, but didn't catch the half of what had gone wrong, said "I don't know what I can save you from”.

If I Could Fly - One Direction

If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you, I think I might give up everything, just ask me to, Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down, Right now I'm completely defenseless, For your eyes only, I show you my heart, For when you're lonely and forget who you are, I'm missing half of me when we're apart, Now you know me, for your eyes only, For your eyes only

I Found - Amber Run

I'll use you as a focal point, So I don't lose sight of what I want, I've moved further than I thought I could, But I miss you more than I thought I would, I'll use you as a warning sign, That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind, I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, Right in front of me, Talk some sense to me

I Know You Care - Ellie Goulding

And know it wasn't always wrong, But I've never known a winter so cold, Now I don't warm my hands in your coat, But I still hope, 'Cause this is how things ought to have been, And I know the worst of it wasn't all that it seemed, Why can't I dream, Why can't I dream

Invisible Thread - Matt Gould/Griffin Matthews

Learn all I can, So when he comes to home, I'll be a better man, There is a long invisible thread, That wraps around my heart, And wraps around your head It tightens its grip, When things go unsaid, And I can't break free

I Want You To Live - George Canyon (Chapter: 36)

I want you to live, I want you to love, I want you to go on and not give up, I want you to live, I want you to try, I want you to know that I’m alright, I want you to fall in love again, I wanna see you smile again and again, I want you to live

I Was So Sure - Former Vandal

All these voices reach as high, But they still can't drown the sound, Of me knowing this is all my fault, We're still too young, this is too much, But I still know that there must, Have been something that I could have done

I Will Be There - Odessa

If you ever need someone, To just love you, If you ever need someone, To simply adore you, I will be there, Standing by your side, I will be there, Standing by your side

I Won’t Forget - Greg Holden

Now I finally see the way it is, I was a fool not to reveal the way I lived, But I won’t forget the days I lived in fear, And I’ll hold on to the memory no matter how severe, I won’t forget the days I lived in fear

I Wouldn’t Mind - He Is We

Forever is a long time, But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side, Carefully we're placed for our destiny, You came and you took this heart, and set it free, Every word you write or sing is so warm to me, so warm to me, I’m torn, I’m torn to be right where you are, I’m not afraid, anymore, I’m not afraid

Keep You With Me - Hot Chelle Rae

Days go by, And yeah I've always got you on my mind, oh, Cause I keep you with me, I say your name, I can’t touch you but it feels the same, oh, Gotta keep you with me 

Killing Me Softly With His Song - Roberta Flack (Chapter: 40)

Strumming my pain with his fingers, Singing my life with his words, Killing me softly with his song, Killing me softly with his song, Telling my whole life with his words, Killing me softly with his song

Letters From War - Mark Schultz

He said "Mom I'm following orders, From all of your letters, And I've come home again", He ran into hold her, And dropped all his bags on the floor, Holding all of her letters from war

Let Them Be Little - Lonestar

I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand, Felt so good in it, no bigger than a minute, How it amazes me, you're changing with every blink, Faster than a flower blooms they grow up all too soon

Life Is Beautiful - Vega4

When you run away from harm, Will you run back into my arms? Like you did when you were young, Will you come back to me?

Like I’m Gonna Lose You - Meghan Trainor ft John Legend

So I'm gonna love you, Like I'm gonna lose you, I'm gonna hold you, Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing, I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when, When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you, Like I'm gonna lose you, I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you

Love Me Now - John Legend

I don't know who's gonna kiss you when I'm gone, So I'm gonna love you now, like it's all I have, I know it'll kill me when it's over, I don't wanna think about it, I want you to love me now 

Magnet - Jilian Linklater ft. Dan Storm

I’ve felt love before, It’s always left me wanting so much more, But all I’ll ever need is holding onto me, Cause your love is like a magnet, And I dont want to resist it, What’s the point in acting like I don’t feel it 

March: Hills To Climb - Tim Myers

Dreaming of a view, From an empire in the sky, Golden gates can wait, Where the dust comes back to life, and the sins of time will ship, and the rivers heaven flow, When our hearts grow tired and cold, there's a strength to letting go

Marry You - Bruno Mars

Cause it's a beautiful night, We're looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you. Is it the look in your eyes, Or is it this dancing juice? Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you.

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you, That is how I know you go on, Far across the distance, And spaces between us, You have come to show you go on, Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on, Once more you open the door, And you're here in my heart, And my heart will go on and on

My Love - Sia

You gave it all, Gave into the call, You took a chance and, You took a fall for us, You came thoughtfully, Loved me faithfully, You taught me honor, You did it for me, Today you will sleep away, You will wait for me, my love

Nana - The 1975

I wish you'd walk in again, Imagine if you just did, I'd fill you in on the things you missed, Oh sleepless knight, a grown up man dressed in white, Who I thought might just save your life, But he couldn't, so you died

Need Somebody - Beatie Wolfe

When I grow old please stay by me as I fade, And if I grow cold please be the flame that holds the faith, Don't you know we need somebody, just somebody to take our hand, Don't you know we need somebody, somebody who will understand 

Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

We've known each other for so long, Your heart's been aching, but, You're too shy to say it, Inside, we both know what's been going on, We know the game and we're gonna play it, And if you ask me how I'm feeling, Don't tell me you're too blind to see, Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never Grow Up - Taylor Swift

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger, And it's so quiet in the world tonight, Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming, So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light, To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret, I'd give all I have, honey, If you could stay like that, Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little, Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple, I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart, And no one will desert you, Just try to never grow up

Now That I’ve Found You - Paul McDonald ft. Nikki Reed

You mean everything to me, my dear, I see you in my thoughts, and I hear you in my sleep, And now that I’ve found you, Now that I’ve got you, I’ve got everything 

One Step Ahead - A Great Big World

How could I ever be enough? Worthy of someone else's love? All of my hang-ups and all of my fears, You made them all disappear, One step ahead of me, You saw what we could be, How did you know, down in your bones that I'd come around?

Photograph - Ed Sheeran

We keep this love in a photograph, We made these memories for ourselves, Where our eyes are never closing, Hearts are never broken, Times forever frozen still, So you can keep me, Inside the pocket, Of your ripped jeans, Holdin' me closer, 'Til our eyes meet, You won't ever be alone, Wait for me to come home

Pick Your Head Up - Cody Qualls

Pick your head up, It’s criminal what you can do to do yourself when you’re not feeling the part of you that’s fed up, I’ve the judgement that I’m not enough, And I’m sick and tired of being “not enough” 

Pink Cloud - Pegboard Nerds ft. Max Collins

I don't care if they talking about us ... no, I don't care if they put us down... no, I don't care if the sky falls around us, We're riding on a pink cloud 

Please Don’t Go - Joel Adams (Chapter: 126)

Most nights I pray for you to come home, Praying to the Lord, Praying for my soul, Now please don't go, Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone, Now please don't go, oh no, I think of you whenever I'm alone, So please don't go

Pretending - Cory Monteith & Lea Michele

Will we ever say the words we're feeling, Reach down underneath it, Tear down all the walls, Will we ever have a happy ending, Or will we forever only be pretending, We will always be pretending 

Returning Soldier - Vexento

Roman Holiday - Halsey

We'll be looking for sunlight, Or the headlights, Till our wide eyes burn blind, We'll be lacing the same shoes, That we've worn through, To the bottom of the line, And we know that we're headstrong, And our heart's gone, And the timing's never right, But for now let's get away, On a Roman holiday

Ronan - Taylor Swift

What if I'm standing in your closet trying to talk to you? What if I kept the hand-me-downs you won't grow into? And what if I really thought some miracle would see us through? What if the miracle was even getting one moment with you? Come on baby with me, we're gonna fly away from here

Run - Snow Patrol

And I can barely look at you, But every single time I do, I know we'll make it anywhere, Away from here, Light up, light up, As if you have a choice, Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear

Run Away With Me - Carly Rae Jepsen (Chapter: 74)

Oh baby, take me to the feeling, I'll be your sinner, in secret, When the lights go out, Run away with me, Run away with me, Oh baby, every single minute, I'll be your hero, I'm willing, When the lights go out, Run away with me, Run away with me

Safe And Sound - Sam Tsui/Kurt Schneider

Don't you dare look out your window darling, Everything's on fire, The war outside our door keeps raging on, Hold onto this lullaby, Even when the music's gone, Gone, Just close your eyes, The sun is going down. You'll be alright, No one can hurt you now, Come morning light, You and I'll be safe and sound

Saturn - Sleeping At Last

You taught me the courage of stars before you left. How light carries on endlessly, even after death. With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite. How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.

Save A Place For Me - Matthew West

Save a place for me, save a place for me, I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon, Save a place for me, save some grace for me, I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon

Shut Up (And Sleep With Me) - Sin With Sebastian

Don't you listen to those old conventions, No try to suppress your real intentions, You're open minded, at least that's what you keep on sayin', Don't be afraid of doing what you're best at, Shut up and sleep with me, Come on, why don't you sleep with me?

Sing For Me - Yellowcard

Look at me and listen close, So I can tell you how I feel before I go, Just a year, it's not much time, For me to show you I am proud that you are mine, I wish I had known the future in my heart, Was just about to start, Say tomorrow, I can't follow you there, Just close your eyes

Sinking Deep - Hillsong Young & Free

I'm wide awake, drawing close, stirred by grace, And all my heart is yours, All fear removed, I breathe you in, I lean into, Your love, oh, your love

Soldiers - Vexento

Somewhere Only We Know - Lily Allen

Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on, And if you have a minute why don't we go, Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything, So why don't we go, Somewhere only we know?

Standing Outside The Fire - Face

Life is not tried, it is merely survived, If you're standing outside the fire, There's this love that is burning, Deep in my soul, Constantly yearning to get out of control, Wanting to fly higher and higher, I can't abide, Standing outside the fire

Stars - Grace Potter And The Nocturnals

And I can't look at the stars, They make me wonder where you are, Stars, up on heaven's boulevard, And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far, So I, I can't look at the stars.

Super Trouper - ABBA

Facing twenty thousand of your friends, How can anyone be so lonely, Part of a success that never ends, Still I'm thinking about you only, (Still I'm thinking about you only), There are moments when I think I'm going crazy, (Think I'm going crazy), But it's gonna be alright, (You'll soon be changing everything), Everything will be so different, When I'm on the stage tonight

Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan

I wanna sleep next to you, But that's all I wanna do right now, And I wanna come home to you, But home is just a room full of my safest sounds, Cause you know that I can't trust myself with my 3AM shadow, I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

My heart stops, When you look at me, Just one touch, Now baby I believe, This is real, So take a chance and, Don't ever look back, Don't ever look back

That Kind Of Love - Max Schneider

Give me that kind of love that makes the hair stick straight up upon your neck, The kind you give your life for this like Montagues and Capulets, Don't need to live forever, Growing old with you is much better, Just give me 

The Call - Regina Spektor

Just because everything's changing, Doesn't mean it's never been this way before, All you can do is try to know who your friends are, As you head off to the war, Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light, You'll come back when it's over, No need to say goodbye

The Light Behind Your Eyes - My Chemical Romance

Sometimes we must grow stronger and, You can be stronger when I'm gone, When I’m here, no longer, You must be stronger and, If I could be with you tonight, I would sing you to sleep, Never let them take the light behind your eyes, I failed and lost this fight, Never fade in the dark, Just remember you will always burn as bright

The Men That Drive Me Places - Ben Rector

Oh isn't that just the way it goes, You're dealt a good hand and you get celebrated, Oh how am I the only one who knows, I'm half the man of the men that drive me places, And now everything's not given, I work hard to make my living, But I'll give credit where I think credits due, Maybe you got dealt a good hand, Maybe you play it the best that you can, But I don't know how far you'd walk without those cards

These Colours Don’t Run - Iron Maiden (Chapter: 50)

It's the same in every country, When you say you're leaving, Left behind the loved ones, Waiting silent in the hall, Where you're going lies adventure, others only dream of, Red and green light this is real, and so you go to war

They Don’t Need To Understand - Andy Black

What made me tough almost killed me, At least that's how I remember the story, Over the years I've forgotten how it was, But I survived and I won't walk down, The same old road that they all followed, It only leads to a life not meant for me

Thinkin Bout You - Frank Ocean

Yes, of course, I remember, how could I forget (how could I forget)? How you feel (how you feel)? You know you were my first time (time). A new feel, It won't ever get old, not in my soul, Not in my spirit, keep it alive (spirit, keep it alive), We'll go down this road, 'Til it turns from color to black and white

This Is Why I Need You - Jesse Ruben

Cause you make the darkness less dark, You make the edges less sharp, You make the winter feel warmer, You make my weakness less weak, You make the bottom less deep, You make the waiting feel shorterm You make my crazy feel normal, every time, You are the who, love is the what, this is the why

Till I Hurt You - Grace Weber

Last night I had a dream we were together, But I woke up to an empty hollow room, Did I help you build these walls we have between us? Or did it creep up like the blood beneath the bruise? And I never knew who I was- till I met you, And I never knew what love was- till you held me the whole night through, And I never knew what hurt was- till I hurt you.

Time To Go - Keane

Where there's nowhere to hide, From what's broken inside, A faultline rips right open, Under the wide wide ocean's tide, Under the wide wide ocean, Maybe it's time to go, Maybe it's time we went, You're making a spectacle, Maybe it's time we left

Truce - Twenty One Pilots

Stay alive, stay alive for me. You will die, but now your life is free, Take pride in what is sure to die.

True Colors - Zedd ft Tim James

All my life, one page at a time, I'll show you my, my true colors, No I won't apologize for the fire in my eyes, Let me show you my, my true colors, it ain't no rainbow

Unraveling - Liz Longley (Chapter: 67)

I've been tearing through boxes on nights I can't sleep, Searching for memories of who she used to be

Waiting - Aquilo

Waiting for you darling, Waiting for the word, Waiting for you darling, Just say it and nothing will stand in my way

Waiting For Superman - Daughtry

She’s talking to angels, Counting the stars, Making a wish on a passing car, She’s dancing with strangers, She’s falling apart, Waiting for Superman to pick her up, In his arms, yeah, in his arms, yeah, She’s waiting for Superman... 

Weight Of Living, Pt. I - Bastille

Stepping forward out into the day, Shrugging off the dust and memory, Though it's soaring still above your head, It is out of sight and none shall see, Oooh there's a light

We’re A Miracle - Christina Aguilera (Chapter: 48)

You and me, we're a miracle; meant to be, And nothing can change it, Mountains move, And oceans part, When they are standing in our way, You and me, we're a miracle; Angels stand watching over, And heaven shines upon us, everyday

West - Sleeping At Last

Time moves slow, When half of your heart has yet to come home. Every minute’s adding up, And leaving a mark on us. I can’t get you out of my mind. I can’t get you out of my mind. I can’t get you out of my mind. I solemnly swear, I swear that I’ll never try.

West Coast - Coconut Records (Chapter: 50)

We both go together if one falls down, Yeah, right, heh, I talk out loud like you're still around, Oh, no, no, And I miss you, I'm goin' back home to the West Coast, I wish you would've put yourself in my suitcase, I love you, Standin' all alone in a black coat, I miss you, I'm goin' back home to the West Coast

What Side Of Love - Parachute

It can make you feel you're bulletproof, Or can cut you down with the smallest truth, Sometimes it can take control, Sometimes it just lets you go, Ooh, lets you go

What’s Up - 4 Non Blondes

And so I cry sometimes, When I'm lying in bed, Just to get it all out, What's in my head, And I, I am feeling a little peculiar, And so I wake in the morning, And I step outside, And I take a deep breath and I get real high, And I scream from the top of my lungs, What's going on

When You Say Nothing At All - Alison Krauss

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me, There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me, The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall, You say it best when you say nothing at all 

Wherever You Are - Angus & Julia Stone

Driving around that town, Where you've been before, And we're like the kids from Candy, Kissing in the grocery store, And there's nowhere else to be, I could live in your old car, With the broken stereo, I want to be wherever, Wherever you are

Who We Are - Tristan Prettyman

I believe in something more, All the days that came before, Led us right to where we are, Right to where we are, It’s all written in the stars, We’ve already come so far, And we can’t change who we are

Why Not - Jonsi

Willow - Jasmine Thompson

I wouldn’t leave you, I would hold you, When the last day comes, What if you need me, Won’t you hold me, On the last day, our last day, Somewhere the timing will all come together, The mishaps will turn into sunny Decembers, The lovers will be able to find their willow

Winds Of Change - Vance Joy

Oh, you went running with my heart, And it's a long, long, long way back, And this right here, well it just ain't living, Oh, I want you to come back, Well I've been alone far too long, When are you coming home, my love? Well I've been alone far too long, When are you coming home, my love? My love

Without You - Mariah Carey

I can't live, If living is without you, I can't live, I can't give anymore, I can't live, If living is without you, I can't give, I can't give anymore

With You - Sharon Dee Clarke

Those unfinished conversations, We used to have still speak to me, And I write you letters every day, That I’ll never send and you’ll never see, All this wishful thinking, Gets me nowhere I can’t stay, Though my heart is broken, It keeps breaking every day 

You - Lost Kings ft. Katelyn Tarver

I can't get enough, We got the future, but in the past, Good and the bad, making it last, We are what I want and I want what I already got 

Your Song - Ellie Goulding

Anyway the thing is what I really mean, Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen, And you can tell everybody this is your song, It may be quite simple, but now that it's done, I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, How wonderful life is now you're in the world

21 Guns - Green Day

When it's time to live and let die, And you can't get another try, Something inside this heart has died, You're in ruins, One, 21 Guns, Lay down your arms, Give up the fight, One, 21 Guns, Throw up your arms into the sky

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