#She just kind of came up with it from her perspective

[eueuphoriaz]

I just need to get this out.

I just watched a video giving opiniated views on AOT characters and the views given on Hange is so stupid. After doing a few research on analysis for Hange, I realised that there are not a lot of in-depth analysis of her. Most of what I read are about her achievements, habits and behaviours. Perhaps I am not searching in the right directions but knowing that there are people who dont know Hange, and disliking her just because there is a lack on information/ back story on her, it is so unfair.

So I need to get this out. Like it or not, this is my views of Hange, and I will try to be logical and rational as much as possible.

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First and foremost, we need to know that Hange is the ONLY major character that we have no personal background story on. Even characters like Pieck and Annie, who appeared lesser than Hange throughout the whole story, were given a backstory to explain the reasons for their actions or choices. This means that we get the chance to understand them, empathise with them and thereby making a more holistic judgement on them and their choices or actions.

We do not have that chance with Hange. We only see her choices and actions. Hence, without understanding the why and underlying reasons for her actions, we can only judge her based on what we see only. Blame it on Isayama and not Hange.

Which is why most of the analysis I read are mostly about what we can see in the mange and anime: her optimism, her eccentricity, her compassion, her self-esteem etc etc. But we cannot link the "why" to all of these that we observe in her.

Honestly, another character I think is in a similar position is Armin. Both of them just have that drive, which is difficult to have an explanation to. Like, they are just like that.

Hence, Hange's character, in my opinion, is someone who, if you get her you get her. You cannot logically analysis her completely but if you know, you will love her. She is written in such a way that you have to experience intuitively.

So I am going to start this post now....

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I will organise this by timeline:

1) Pre-104

2) Pre-basement

3) Pre-Liberio

4) Rumbling.

I may get lost along the way but perhap will tidy up this in time to come.

And now, I would like to introduce the 3 men that are important to Hange's character:

Not them but they are definitely important.

The other 3 men are

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1) Pre-104 and Pre-Basement

Now, I am going to compare Hange during the Pre-104 period and Pre-Basement period.

Essentially, we know that pre-104, Hange was first driven by hatred and anger towards the titan. But somewhere along that time, she decided to change her perspective and took on a different approach in the war against Titan. She is on Humanity's side very clearly.

The moment shifted when 104 came. First, there is new info of Titan-shifters, enemy shifters, Wall titans etc. All these changes happen in the span of 1-2 months (from the Battle at Trost to 57th expedition to Stohess batte). Comparing to what Hange and the Survey Corp had tried to seek and understood for so many years, this transition is important.

No one knew what is going on but I think this is the start of Hange's transition back to Pre-104 period for her.

Essentially, Hange is brought back to where she had to fight the Titans enemies with hatred and anger. Of course we do not have the reasons for why but she is very consistent here. She is tough and will not hesitate to resort to violence for the greater good- Humanity

I just want to insert a scene from Levi explaining this in the manga (reminds me of the part where Hange said she wanted everyone to feel safe. This also tells me that Hange is terrified knowing that Humanity can be enemies too):

"Choosing the hell of humans killing each other over the hell of being eaten....That way all of Humanity doesnt have to be damned"

This is very very deep.

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Nick here, kind of represents the Titans that Hange used to hate, but now seek to understand. You can see the parallels in Hange treating Nick and Titans in both the Pre-104 and pre-basement timeline. If she cant understand the situation herself, she make Nick understand the situation himself so that he can disclose the information. And in the process, she values them (Titans and Nick).

2) Pre-Basement

The next important man is Sannes, because this is when Hange started to realise the real enemy. Are they the titans? Shifters? What is humanity actually?

Nick kickstart a new realisation for Hange as she transits from knowing "humanity vs titans" to "humanity and friendly titan vs unfriendly titans" to "friendly humans vs hostile humans".

This is very similar to Armin's speech when the 104 listened in to Sannes' torture.

Now, I have seen people commenting that Hange has not qualms about killing people and even titan after she knew that titan are actually human. And for that they did not like her decision to stop genocide, aka she is hypocritical.

Now, if you understand Hange's perspective of Humanity, it would be much more clearer that she is all for the bigger picture. For Humanity to survive and be free. Sannes and the king, on the other hand, is for Humanity to submit to the titans and accept any retributions that come.

Hange's Humanity perspective start to transit during her interactions with Sannes because it is a different belief she has to build upon her bigger goals now. Which type of Humanity is she on? Just like Armin's speech: Humans can be enemy because they have different beliefs.

Remember how Nick brought Hange back to the feeling of terror pre-104? Sannes gave Hange the opportunity to re-examine how she should respond to this new threat: human with different beliefs. Which is why I like her kicking of table scene so much. She is thinking and digesting a lot of what is going on. We dont see it but I think, we can feel it.

So pre-104 and pre-basement Hange are similar.

- She faced an enemy (Titan/ Humans), she respond emotionally and with violence (Titan's head football, Nick over wall, torturing Sannes)

- Given time, she eventually change the way she view her enemies (Titans, Nick, Sannes).

3) Pre-Liberio

So, after the basement and killing off all titans so that humanity can be free of the walls (I mean what can she do to those mindless titans right? They still possess a risk to humans if they cannot be restrained like Connie's mother or the baby titan), I feel that Hange reached her golden period.

I think that this is where she is most at ease with herself. Pre-104 period, once she is sure of how she wants to view her enemies aka Titans, she goes all out to experiment and understand them. Similarly after Basement and Pre Liberio, Hange now seeks to understand other humans, instead of titans now. Onykopon is the person that gave Hange that opportunity to be curious about human and their intelligence now. So we have her probing at guns and cars and what-not.

Hange at this stage is still on Humanity side but she does not differentiated them. I think she struggles with the idea of Humanity controlling the power of titans by giving up and sacrificing human lives. It is quite contradicting and we see Hange trying to understand once again, the Humans now.

I think Onykopon understood her and supported her as she tried to figure out what Humanity wanted.

I think her inner speech here is so important to understand that Hange is always on Humanity's side. I think many have pointed out she is always pro-life and she seeks a win-win situation, which can be idealistic, but at the least she tries to avoid a lose-lose situation. She is not being a coward at all.

4) Rumbling

I think many people just thought that she had changed after the timeskip and may dislike her for being wishy-washy about many decisions here. But if we follow Hange throughout the story, she always seek the way of understanding. She is going through a transition herself of understanding the world and she does not have the luxury of accessing anyone's past or future memories like the Titan shifters, or Marley's Eldians.

True, there is no time for Paradise to make a decision, she doesnt have the luxury of time to understand humans and it definitely will take time to change a system or global worldview. Sometimes it is impossible.

I included this scene from Armin during the Sannes torture scene. There is a lot of foreshadowing here, which hints at the continuation of humanity and the change in the way they should fight. I draw attention to Armin's observation that Erwin's coup is a rebellion against a system for almost 100 years. With Hange now trying to address a problem that newly arise within 5 years, how can anyone even question her competency!?!? And Armin's conclusion basically also foreshadow Eren's effect of Rumbling: creating a significant event (Rumbling) so that thr Survey Corp (Alliance) can be seen as a saviour and putting the blame on the MP or the government (Eren and the Titans). That is what basically happened for the Rumbling, and Hange initated that, with Armin continuing this form of retaliation via means of Alliance.

Her role now, is not to initiate change or gamble for change but to facilitate transition to the next person. Her decision to stop the genocide is exactly why Eren can only kill 80% of the world's population. Her decision to try to seek to understand help patch Magath's delusional view, changed Marley's victimised persception of themselves, lead the foundation of the Alliance and many others. Some say her sacrifice is unnecessary. It is if we only think of the situation in a micro view, ie Paradis vs the world. But Hange's view is always for Humanity to be free. She has to move on so that Humanity can move on. I would go as far as to say that she is the parallel of Eren's Attack Titan in human form. Thats why Levi knows she wont allow herself to stay out of action even before Eren declare that he will activate the Rumbling. (She was already fixing the cart when Eren spoke to all Eldians)

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So if I compare Hange after Liberio and with pre 104 and pre basement, she is still very similar:

- She faced an enemy (Titan/ Humans/ humans' internal violence), she respond emotionally and with violence (Titan's head football, Nick over wall, torturing Sannes, i think she struggled here and was redirecting a lot of the aggression internally towards herself-being hard on herself instead)

- Given time, she eventually change the way she view her enemies (Titans, Nick, Sannes, she accepts and embrace that violence within her, because she still believes in Humanity and she does not have the time to change or remove the violence within human).

A few more panels from the manga to highlight what the real enemy is:

Erwin's and Pixie's conversation after the coup is important as it hinted what really is the enemy.

I was curious about this conversation between Yelena and Levi. Now it makes more sense to me.

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In a way, many people have seen the most precious thing about Hange: the willingness to change yourself. I think, even for us, irl, we always want others to change for us, we always want the external environment to change for us. Much like Eren, when things dont go our way, we want them to change or die or disappear. Hange's willingness to admit vulnerability and change themselves, is something not many people can do. She is not avoiding. She is not even in the fight/ flight mode against threats. She is being in total control of herself by changing her perspectives, opinions and worldviews. Her level of self-awareness is not something many people observed because, we dont have a very complete understanding of why she is like that. Aka, we need her backstory so that people can understand her actions and choices easier.

This voice drama is so important to understand her as a whole.

".. it's ok to change..."

"...so let's change..."

"...so that we keept what shouldnt be changed."

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I kind of got lost and started to focus on her achievements instead. But Hange is just that character that is, if you understand you know.

#aot #attack on titan #hange zoe #shingeki no kyojin #snk #manga analysis #hange analysis #hange attack on titan #hange aot

[megamind2010]

Hi I’m a loyal fan plzease talk about Nells philosophy on love of I kill self

lol as promised in the tags from the crush meme

nell was raised by parents who were extremely in love. the kind of goofy embarrassing lovey dovey mother and father who still take each other on dates even though theyve been married for years... so for the first part of her childhood she had a very strong basis for what a happy and healthy relationship looks like

unfortunately when nell was thirteen his mother died in childbirth (unplanned and unexpected) and the shock and grief of the situation sent his father into a catastrophic depression that lasted nearly six years. he struggled to take care of himself, let alone his children, retreating from the world and leaving teenage nell with the burden of raising her two younger brothers, one of whom was a newborn baby. at the time she took this on with little outward display of resentment but it obviously changed her relationship with her dad irreparably

this also twisted nells perspective on love. if her parents could be so in love and so happy that it broke her dad to such an extent, then falling in love is an inherently selfish act. if you die before your partner then you are setting them up for misery and a high chance of them being a burden on those around them... so to nells mind its better for everyone if she never lets herself get that close to someone. doubly so when she becomes a superhero with the much higher mortality rate of that job

being friends with ted and witnessing boosters horrible spiral after he died only cemented this belief lol another example of "in the long run love just makes you miserable"

he dabbled with casual relationships in college mostly as a way to explore the sense of freedom that came with moving out after taking care of his brothers for most of his later childhood, but inevitably nell was always the one to break these off after a few months. didnt want the girls getting too attached and causing problems

this is a big part of why nell (in the canon ending) makes it all the way to dying without realising that their feelings for casey could possibly be requited. theyve spent a long time telling themselves that what they have with casey is "good enough" and that casey doesnt actually care about them past the free apartment and the sex... which of course isnt true. and nell dying actually does have horrible adverse effects on caseys life. sooo... i guess nell was actually right all along AVOIDANCE WIN

new york ending obviously detangles a lot of this. lots of conversations with ted about the vulnerability of love and trust and what not. shes getting there... its a tough belief to shake but having casey as a parasite does help to dislodge it. eventually

#nell #caseybug #i just woke up. gmorning #im going back to sleep ✌️ I love you koby thanks for giving me the chance to yap #asks

[nightcolorz]

Currently thinking about how Anne Rice has expressed that Lestat is a reflection in many ways of the type of person she wished she could be and how she didn’t understand gender + didn’t entirely identify with womanhood, and how all of those feelings are a part of Gabrielle’s character, down to Gabrielle basically saying to Lestat that she loves him because she sees the type of man she can’t be reflected in him and I just…Im not the biggest fan of Anne Rice as a person, she was definitely very flawed (that may be an understatement), but I feel bad that she seemed to have had some unaddressed gender dysphoria, and never really got to explore her gender in a way that she found satisfactory. Based on how she’s spoken about it it seems like she didn’t consider exploring her gender identity to be a possibility. And honestly I find that really sad

#Also there’s the added layer that Lestat was originally based off of Anne’s husband Stan Rice #And she saw a lot of Lestat in her son Christopher #A lot of times reading these books feels like looking into a bizarre reflection of Anne Rice’s psyche #For better or for worse #the vampire chronicles #anne rice #the vampire lestat #lestat de lioncourt #gabrielle de lioncourt #I think Gabrielle is based on Anne Rice more then she’d like to admit #While I was reading about her I kept thinking “..this feels oddly personal” #Lots of fans have pointed out that Gabrielle %100 was experiencing gender dysphoria #And my question always was #”how was Anne Rice able to write so accurately about gender dysphoria in an entirely unintentional and accidental way?” #Because it’s not like she researched it for her book or anything like that #She just kind of came up with it from her perspective #And I believe that’s only really possible if you’ve experienced it first hand #Especially considering how raw and realistic Gabrielle felt to me and a lot of other trans folks #So in conclusion I think Anne Rice might’ve been a bit of an egg #Which I hope isn’t too much of a controversial or speculative thing to say

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

.

#I know life is hard and we shouldn't take it personally and we should never expect people to coddle us and blah blah #but really I would like to just survive one day without someone being mean to me #I don't even need a day of people being nice #truly I would just take one completely mundane day where I didn't get cursed out or yelled at or spoken down to #and yes I'm well aware this is partially my fault because one person in particular I surround myself with is trash #but it's not just him #my sister cursed me out and accused me of insulting her because I said I didn't agree with her on something #I didn't even say she was wrong I legit told her her feelings were valid and that it was just hard for me to see it from the same #perspective #and when she got upset i took it all back and said I was wrong and apologized and still she berated me over messenger until I cried because #I didn't know what else to say #and even though I'm sick #I got up and cooked dinner for my family and I cleaned up the whole mess and put it all away but I didn't do the dishes because I was #struggling and had to lay back down #and my mom came out and did not say thanks for dinner or thanks for cleaning up or anything of the sort #she came out rolled her eyes scoffed gestured to the dishes in the sink and said you have a mess here #and then proceeded to complain about how I didn't do the dishes #and that's stupid to let that bother me but I swear it's an every day thing and like I was so proud of myself for getting up and cooking an #cleaning up my mess because I was struggling to get out of bed at all #and still all she can bring up is the negative and no matter what i do it's always like that never a positive note #and for the record my mom lives with me for free taking over my son's bedroom it's not like i left dishes in her house it's my dishes in my #house #and ofc my son's father found a way to yell at me but i don't even count that anymore #and i'm just emotionally drained #and it feels like lately it's just an every day thing and i'm so fucking tired #I can't remember the last time someone said anything kind to me at all and that's not an exaggeration #no one ever says i love you or i'm proud of you or thanks for doing that or this helps alot or you got this or you're good at this #and I just wish someone could see something good in me for once

[headspace-hotel]

in the future, Braiding Sweetgrass will be assigned to all students to read in school, and mostly they will hate it, because it seems to them like poorly structured rambling about nature and vignettes from the author's life. Soooooooo boring!

We will struggle to explain to them: no, no, this book was actually completely revolutionary for its time. When Kimmerer talks about the honorable harvest, learning to listen to the teachings of the plants, understanding nature as animate and alive, and the relationship of reciprocity and mutual dependence between humans and other life forms, these are ideas that were genuinely new and mind-blowing to us when we were young.

It wasn't just those in power that saw nature as "Resources" or some kind of mechanical system that would be better off without human interference—almost no one else knew another way to think. Yes, yes, we knew about symbiosis, but we hardly ever applied it to ourselves. Kimmerer is serious when she says her cultural perspective was almost wiped out; the culture we inherited as children literally didn't have the concepts she is talking about, and that's why the book was so important!

We will tell the students that it would have been weird even among "environmentalists" of the time to think of trees and insects as your family. I mean, well, yes, we knew that everything was related, but we thought Charles Darwin was the first to come up with that. You don't understand, we will say, most of these ideas about living in right relationship with nature would have been thought of as extra-scientific, sentimental or spiritual crap.

"Did you just not know where food and clothes came from?" they will ask, with eyebrows raised. Yes, but back then, food was mostly grown in enormous fields of only one crop where everything else had been killed with chemicals. We didn't really think of agricultural environments as "ecosystems"—"nature" was a separate thing—I mean yeah, we harvested logs from forests, but that was different. No, we basically thought Earth was divided into "human uses" and "nature," and that people shouldn't be in the "nature" parts. No, really!

The students will be fascinated and ask things like "But what about parks?" "Would a hay field be nature or human uses?" "How about pollinator gardens?" "What about the ocean?" and we will try to explain to them that we really just didn't think that hard about it

#the ways of the plants #nature #this future can be.

[midascrow]

Lucifer x GN!Reader

A Fan of the Devil?

———————//————

synopsis: Charlie’s father is introduced to the hotels “Gardener”, and comes to find out that they’re a fallen soul from above. He’s also surprised to learn that they’re a fan of his.

warnings: religious pressure(?)

an: Part 1? If this is well received ofc. This is told from Lucifer’s perspective and therefore his view and inner thoughts regarding what’s going on around him. I also threw in the idea that he’s bad with names cuz that feels very accurate to me lol

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He hadn’t expected his daughter’s friends to be so….eccentric, upon meeting them. Of course he knew Charlie’s heart bled gold for any sinner around, but he thought-, more so he hoped that she would keep somewhat better company.

Especially in the revelation of this “RaDiO DEmOn”.

Baggie- Mag- Vaggie, was alright he supposed. She loves his daughter, perhaps just as much as he does,that much he was sure. And while he was a bit disheartened by having not known of their relationship prior, he was still content and moved by the way the two leaned towards each others embrace as they spoke.

His heart ached. Just a bit.

“Are they up in their room again?”

“I think they’re in the Garden again, hon.”

Garden? The hotel had a garden?

“Oh! Oh maybe we could-“

“I don’t know…you know how they can be about us going in there..”

“Pshhhh! I’m sure it’ll be fine Vaggie! Plus remember how they always talked about meeting him??”

Meeting who? Who’s meeting who??

Was there some kind of owl in here?

“Dad!”

“Ah!”

Charlie blinked down at her father in an awkward beam, watching his red eyes dart around nervously, for a moment or two. “Who?!-“ His throat dried and swelled in embarrassment, cracking his voice as he fixed his pride with a dust off his hat. “Uhm…Yes? Char?” Nailed it. Totally. Very cool and suave of you big boss.

His daughter smiled, a crease in her brow before she clasped his arm and tugged him forward, away from the peering eyes of the others and down a long corridor. “There’s someone- Well-there’s someone who’s been dying to meet you! Yknow ever since they arrived here it’s just be non stop-“

Someone wanted to meet him? Why??

Surely they were a weirdo.

His grimace must’ve given him away, because Vaggie, who he hadnt noticed following them till the moment of, gave a small hum, to cut through her girlfriends words.

“They were a bit of a fanatic on earth apparently.”

He dead panned.

“A cultist.”

“No.”

“A satanist?”

“That’s not even what satanists do!”

“…..”

“….A banker-“

“Just-!….Wait and you’ll see.”

He fell silent at that, a frown pulled onto his pale lips as his feet dragged him towards wherever they were headed.

He was a bit stumped when they came upon two large doors, both decorated in shimmering glass mozaics, depicting two dividing scenes. An Angel; hands carefully cupped around a beautifully red apple, kneeled down towards the other mural, was depicted on the right. And on the Left, in the same position, with the same red apple, a demon.

He shifted uncomfortably.

“Wow Honey! I uh- Didn’t know this door even existed! It’s very cool, yes yes very cool- now let’s head back to the-!” He called nervously, a half witted laugh leaving his sharp tooth smile as Charlie nodded vigorously, shiney eyes aglow as she took hold of the golden handles of the ornate doors, pulling them open with a mighty huff as a golden light spilled from inside.

It was startling to say the least, fact proven by how Lucifer felt his wings practically shoot from his back in defense, feathers cascading down in time with the petals and leaves that followed an imaginary breeze through the threshold.

His ears strained to hear the quiet sound of rushing water and leaves shaking, birds chirping and insects buzzing quietly somewhere in the back.

His skin warmed. Not in the way it naturally did from hells weather, but as if the sun was beaming down on his skin for the first time in eons. Of course, he knew it was fake. But it was so close.

“Oh- shit! Charlie!” A voice barked beyond the golden glow of the garden, a figure stepping out from the shadows of a large bush, covered in leaves and flowers as they stumbled clumsily through, racing towards the door and slamming it shut, completely ignorant to the king beside their hip, who’s gaze pierced them in silent wonder.

He hadn’t felt that in a while.

“What did I tell you about coming in unannounced! You could throw off the entire ecosystem! The slightest temperature shift might make one of the flowers wilt or one of the fruits shrivel! At least warn me before-“

“Ahem.”

The sinner paused, shoulders jumping stiffly as they froze, finger pointed towards Charlie rudely from their rant before their gaze shifted to the side.

He heard the way their breath hitched, and his chest puffed slightly in pride, wings fluttering just slightly.

“Hello there.” He was being cheeky, he knew that, though his smile felt a tad too genuine, caused by the sheer awe that glimmered across the sinners face at the sight of him. “Lucifer Morningstar, I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting yet.”

He couldn’t find it in himself to dislike that look. He was the avatar of pride after all.

And a small part of him took a rather large enjoyment in the stuttering and stumbling of the sinner before him.

“Y-Your highness! Oh my gosh-“ He grinned “I wasn’t expecting your company- I would’ve dressed more- well I-“ Vaggie coughed from the side, redirecting their attention as they picked the stray foliage form their hair and clothes in a frenzy, towards the garden around them.

With a startled gasp they quickly stepped to the side, nearly tumbling in their haste as they held their arm out, presenting the garden to the king. “It’s..it’s an honor to meet you Sir.” Your voice was steadier, but still thick with anxiety that stuck like molasses to your tongue.

He watched your hand tremble, just slightly. Like his.

His wings fluttered again. A warm feeling bursting through his chest and into his eyes, giving them that shine that reflected the faux golden glow of the sun in the large green room. “The pleasures all mine, My dear. Do you mind explaining what it is you have-.…here”

His smile faltered, gaze stuck on the tree that stood tall and proud in the center of the spacious garden. Its leaves and branches stretched far, each adorned by beautiful red..apples, that hung and shimmered in the light. He expected the familiar ache of guilt to swarm his heart, but was surprised when he found himself breathless instead.

“I hope it’s..somewhat accurate. I’ve only seen recreations of course, never the real thing..” Your voice was a bit muffled in his mind.

He felt you step cautiously beside him, as he continued to gaze reverently at the scene before him. Shadows and memories danced past his eyes and through the patches of sun that decorated the floor. He swore he could hear quiet calls and whispers mix with the rustling leaves.

“You made this?” It wasn’t really a question.

Plants weren’t common in hell. Especially none such as this. They simply couldn’t grow in the rotted soil that spread across his kingdom. And there was simply no pure water to be found that could sustain them. So how-

“I might’ve take a few things before I fell.” You laughed shyly, cheeks warmed under the sun and the intense gaze of the King that snapped towards you.

Lucifer finally got a proper look at you. At your eyes and your features. Your afflictions. There was no denying you were a human soul. It was clear as day and still beat deep in your being. But..

“You were in heaven?” He gasped, eyes wide, mouth agape as he turned fully towards you, the grip on his cane tight as he scanned over the few demonic markings that lined your body, and the big golden X that flashed across your entire being. For only his eyes to see.

A virtuous soul cast out? Was that even possible? To turn away a true, virtuous soul, one of the few who had made it into heavens gate from their life on earth-

“It’s safe to say I didn’t truly agree with heavens teachings. It was too…polished.” There was an easy going smile that matched your tone, as you let your eyes wander towards the tree that wisely outshined every other plant in the garden. You continued.

“Heaven wasn’t my first choice. Frankly I didnt believe in it to begin with. But my folks were..somewhat of zealots. They wanted the best for me, I know that. But I missed…” You paused, seemingly thoughtful as Lucifer watched you with rapt attention, you both becoming ignorant to the two lovers that slipped out.

Charlie smiled softly to herself. Her dad needed this.

“I missed the free will that their religion took away from me.” Your gaze was knowing, almost wise like the tree when it peered back into his own, and Lucifer swore he felt something crack. Something lift from his shoulders and pulled his wings away, letting them spread proudly, in a way he hadn’t felt or experienced in years. Possibly ever.

“You know….I always enjoyed the story of you they told on earth.” Lucifer grimaced again, the vision of you dimming for a moment as he glanced away.

“Is that so? I’m sure they’re singing my praises.” It was a dry laugh, his hands gesturing in a faux confidence, but his lips quirked when he heard your muffled one.

“No, many aren’t. Most seem to align themselves with Heavens view…” You hummed thoughtfully and stepped forwards into the soft grass that peaked through the cracks of brimstone. Lucifer followed, instinctively. He felt leashed by your presence, though not necessarily in a bad way.

“Though there are plenty, who think a little more like me. There’s many versions of your story. I always knew that the original couldn’t be the full story. Too..one sided. Time on earth taught me that there was always a second side. Someone’s else thoughts-, perspective. Falling only confirmed that.”

You words tangled with your fingers that fluttered across the branches of a close bush, caressing a small flower that curled into your touch. “The first thing I did was look for the story. Of the garden. I wanted to replicate it, though admittedly there was never much detail to go off!”

You laughed again and the sound was quickly becoming a favorite of his. It was gentle..understanding. It almost hurt.

“And when I read the story..it was different. More romantic for sure.” You flushed softly, cheeks warm again as you recalled the way the story of Lucifer and Lilith warmed your soul. “But..more honest. Heart breaking even. I couldn’t believe how horrible it was must’ve been…and never knowing how amazing your gift was..” you turned to him again, your gaze so earnest and true that it made him step back.

Lucifer couldn’t deny the warmth in his own cheeks. You were pretty..pretty? That felt mundane. You practically glowed in the garden. And while it wasn’t a perfect representation of what Eden had been, it was better.

Eden had always been..one dimensional. It lacked the depth and feeling that Lucifer had hoped to give humanity. It was gorgeous, there was no denying that. But it wasn’t real.

This…This, is what he had hoped for the garden to be. Alive. Truly alive.

And…you brought it life…because of him? It didn’t feel right in a way. Having spent so many years locked away by himself and mourning the sin and ruin he had created from his own selfish wish.

Selfish? Had it been selfish? At the time, when he had done it, it didn’t feel selfish. He wanted humanity to live. To be alive! Truly, and honestly alive.

And you were so Alive. You were dead here in hell and yet you were breathing life into this gorgeous scene because you chose to. You chose to fall too. You chose to be in hell.

Because of him? Because of his…gift?

It was ironic almost. Laughable even.

Your lips pursed, a worried sweat on your brow as you lost that roaring confidence that bled into your words prior. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to preach or anything-“ He stopped you.

“So-.…you’re a fan?” His lips screwed into a wobbly smile, embarrassment creeping up his neck at his less then poetic comment, though the laugh you graced him with almost made the shame worth it.

“You could say that. I personally think I hold the title of number one fan, but you know beggars can’t be choosers I suppose.” You gestured animatedly, a small smirk on your lips as you professed your..favor towards the king, and he gleamed.

“Well!” His hands flew to his suit, straightening it out and letting his chest puff out from its slumped frame. “May I know the name of my, alleged, number one fan?” His words were coy, smug as he gestured to you with a flourish that he had shown to the other residents. (Of course till you had so rudely stunned him to silence)

The smile you gifted him was holy.

“(Y/N)…Your highness.” Your bow was playful, a little awkward and strained, but it made him laugh.

“(Y/n), hm? I’ll be sure to remember that.” His throat cleared briefly, “I…hope you wouldn’t mind me stopping by sometime again soon..I’d like to hear a bit more about your garden.” He liked the way you looked at him in this moment. Disbelieving but so hopeful. Like he was something, someone to gaze at in such a way.

“I’d be honored.”

Maybe you had a fan of your own now, as well.

———————☆

#hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #hazbin x reader #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel x reader #Lucifer Morningstar x reader #x reader #x gn reader #charlie morningstar

[diordeer]

౨ৎ TV IN BLACK AND WHITE

“nothing to be feared when you're in my heart, troubles come in threes but in your case they came in millions and trillions, but that's all right” - lana del rey (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, who plays priscilla and gets a bit of hate but its a tom blyth, rachel zegler kinda sitch

description: ok so i originally put this off bc i wasnt sure how to do it but then i did some brain storming and i looovee it i hope u do too 🤭

requested by: @tomblythsslut

Liked by sofiacoppola, iamcharliebushnell and others

yn.ln had so much fun on priscilla, miss u all 💔

View all comments.

user1 On my way! to make this movie my whole personality!

user2 Oh great! Another man hating movie!

↳ yn.ln thats not the point of the film? 😄

↳ user6 HELLO?

sofiacoppola 🩷🩷

user3 the behind the scene photos are giving me LIFE

user4 yn and jacob’s height difference might just put me in a coma

user5 yn casually dating and being best friends with the two white boys of the month

user6 i want all of her outfits NOW

↳ yn.ln this is exactly how i felt when i put the outfits on… wish i coulve taken them home!

user7 what a biased movie

↳ user8 the movie shows the ups and downs of the relationship from priscilla’s perspective, yes, but it would be more relatable to whoever’s side ur watching it from. Not biased, just true 😃

↳ user7 oh my god stfu

user9 MAN THIS COMMENT SECTION IS CRAZY

↳ user10 half is obsessing and the other half is hating 🤨

Liked by yn.ln, walker.scobell and others

iamcharliebushnell you are so so incredible!! love you 🩷

tagged yn.ln

yn.ln awhh love u more

user3 ur gf acted in one film that went well and thinks she’s the shit, for the love of god please humble her

↳ iamcharliebushnell why don’t u do me a favour and get a fucking life

↳ user2 WOAHHH

↳ user4 she IS the shit

dior.n.goodjohn shes so cute

↳ yn.ln we can leave, ill run away with u, just us!!

↳ iamcharliebushnell ⁉️

↳ yn.ln jokes!

↳ dior.n.goodjohn watch out mr, im stealing your girl 😉

user1 THE PUPPPYYY

user5 i hate the hate towards yn, but im kind of loving the drama i cant lie…

user6 charlie and yn are SO cute

↳ user7 THE WAY HE DEFENDS HER 😍

↳ user8 kinda feel like thats bare minimum tho like if ur gf was getting attacked would u not defend her?

↳ user7 stilll!!!! I think its rly cute

Liked by jacobelordi, iamcharliebushnell and others

yn.ln us looking for where u saw me say i thought i was the shit for acting in “one successful film”

tagged iamcharliebushnell

View all comments.

user1 YES TELL EM

user2 where did that even come from like? i swear that was out of nowhere

↳ user3 yeah! and they are REAL quiet now

iamcharliebushnell spoiler alert! We couldnt find it! Strange right?

↳ yn.ln super strange!

↳ user4 they are so iconic

user9 “im not angry, im just disappointed” is SCREAMING from the first pic

user5 men 🤷‍♀️

↳ yn.ln i want to agree with this but i also dont want to get cancelled again ! #notallmen 😊

user6 ALSO what is “one successful film” even mean?! this girl has an INSANELY successful career

↳ user7 they were too busy watching their film bro films

user8 love me a supportive AND hot boyfriend

↳ yn.ln really the whole package

user10 ive had crimson and clover stuck in my head ALL WEEK since seeing the film

↳ user11 the soundtrack is SOOO GOOD

taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities @b0ok-lover @vamplyle

#charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #smau #social media au #aesthetic #charlie bushnell #in the know #x reader #priscilla

[skelliko]

Hi Skelle! ☆ How r you? I hope you have a nice day/night! 🫶🏼 I want to request something.. my request is can you make like a full (not a mandatory) headcanons of how the guys will act if they have a crush on someone? Like how they behaviour will change, how they first meet the reader immediately think “yep, she’s the one”, where, and overall how sappy they can get when they have a crush 🥹 i would like them with baji, kazutora, chifuyu and haitani brothers.

Feel free to ignore this if you feel this is too much cause I don’t wanna stress your cute 🧠💐🎀🩷 brain 🧠💐🎀🩷

Lmao

a/n: hope this is okay, sorry for the wait. i didn't intend to make these all be in a school setting, I had tried to do some in a workplace but It's all I could think off without making it basic 😕

★-Tokyo revengers

๑-context: first interaction + how they act/feel with a crush

๑-featuring: Baji, kazutora, chifuyu, ran, rindou

°- kazutora hanemiya

-- kazutora was forced to stay behind the classroom to finish his work that he hasn't done, the teacher was sat in front of her desk doing whatever a teacher does there while everyone else but him exit out the room. however when you were on your way out you slickly slid a small, folded up piece of paper on the side of kazutora's desk which certainly didn't go unnoticed by him.

-- his eyes went right at you and watched as you walked away almost expecting you to look back at him but you didn't. to then occasionally glance at the teacher to make sure that she doesn't look up as his hand slides towards the note to carefully and quietly open it up. anything could have been written on the note but since he was so focused to not get caught his mind was blank and didn't assume anything right away.

-- the piece of paper held all the answers to the worksheet that he was supposed to complete. to avoid any suspicions from the teacher he immediately placed it flat on the desk underneath his palm to collect himself and not get too ahead of himself, I mean what if the answers are incorrect and your setting him up for longer detention? eventually he risked it and wrote down all the answers that you had given him and handed in his work. and sure enough you become a life saver there, he was able to get out of there quicker than he first anticipated.

-- eventually he came up to you "hey, thanks for the... you know. but why'd you give me 3 incorrect answers? thought you were supposed to be smart" he said it in a almost teasing way, not upset at all about the incorrect answers. but you replied with "because no one would believe you to get them all correct without being forced to do them again" and that right there is the moment that he realised what kind of smart and mischievous person you are, enough that you've captivated his thoughts for the rest of the day and onwards.

• normally he'd get pissed off when forced to stay behind in class, but now, his mind is flooded with you that he's getting stayed back more and more just so that your hand can brush over his desk and give a semi warm piece of paper that you've held safely in your palm on the way to his desk to get him out of a situation that he put himself in, it almost feels like holding your hand. are you aware of what he's doing? probably, but that won't stop him. he also keeps all the pieces of paper even tho they serve no purpose, but knowing that you were the one that gave it to him changes the perspective of those little scraps.

• he has a major urge to be around you, he's craving your presence and voice and he always feels some sort of ache is in body from just thinking about seeing you once the weekend has passed. also the same thing goes for craving your physical touch such as a tight hug or maybe even a scalp massage but he knows that won't happen any time soon but the crave is still there, it's like a maladaptive daydream.

• he also looks at you different compared to others, with you it seems like kazu is looking at an angle with gorgeous white wings and a stunning outfit, whereas with others it seems like their just ants. big difference there.

-- sure you've been in his class for a while but that was the first time you've actually interacted with each other, other than a quick eye contact from looking around the room. there's always that one classmate that you haven't talked to but once you do it changes so much more than you first intended.

• he feels his emotions to a certain extreme level and cause of this he tries to hide it as much as he can otherwise he grows too expressive without realising it. and that can easily make his feelings seem obvious if not tamed correctly. he tries to act casual despite his stomach is turned into a butterfly sanctuary, his palms are grown sweaty, and his breath is held in to get rid of the feeling of jumping about and smiling like a complete idiot. mentally hes turned into a little kid with red cheeks just because his crush smiled at him, someone give the kid an ice pop otherwise he'll overheat. no seriously he's burning up like a fever just being near you.

°- Keisuke baji

-- Baji was getting into some sort of escalating argument after school had ended, him and two guys were getting a little rowdy but because of Baji being in his nerdy disguise at the time he couldn't risk in making a scene

-- but then that's when you butt in and stand by Baji's side. it was certainly a shock to suddenly see you appear beside him and hear you verbalise your opinion and defend him like that against these two delinquents even though he could have easily defended himself despite the circumstances, he could have walked away and led them somewhere else but no, you brought yourself into the bickering before he could act on it

-- Baji was gonna speak up to cut you off and try and get you away from the slight hazardous situation but you certainly had a lot to say and that just caused him to keep quiet. were you not scared? if you weren't for yourself then he was surely scared for you. he wasn't mad at you for getting involved, instead he somewhat gained respect for you and he had to hold back in smiling.

-- though he obviously couldn't let the situation keep going so he had to quickly drop the whole argument by speaking over you and basically drag you away by your sleeve gently. his feelings didn't grow immediately right there and then but they did develop quickly over a short period of time.

• thinking of you? his cheeks are sore and he brings a hand up to his mouth to suppress it and as if to hide it even though there's no one around to hide his smile from. he doesn't know why he does that but he just does.

• if someone were to be told that baji giggles when you message him they wouldn't believe it, that whole image for them is nonexistent when it comes to Baji, wouldn't even consider it. but this man really does, he tries to stifle them and keep a calm exposure however when he's laying down on his bed he has a wide smile plastered stupidly on his face and when he feels an excited, giddy feeling he can't help but feel a small laugh escape. when he tries to hold them back it almost feels like his chest is being tightened. your suffocation him without even being there, imagine a potential news title 'baji Keisuke suffocated due to feeling giddy about a crush'

• not much of an artist, can only actually draw simple outlines of certain objects such as pain flowers or stick men, but that doesn't stop him from picking up a pen or pencil and start to doodle, nor does it stop him to have your features flash in his mind and him draw you as a stick figure or even a wobbly blob. he sometimes zones out in class when doodling and when he catches himself in drawing you he quickly scribbles it out before anyone or you sees.

°- chifuyu matsuno

-- its raining outside on a school day and you don't have an umbrella nor a hood to cover yourself so due to that you chose to stay behind in your empty classroom to wait out the rain just so you don't get soaked. you chose to stay behind and do something captivating that it even caused you to lose track of time, luckily Chifuyu walked past your classroom and saw you there, it's at least a few hours past school hours (don't ask what he's still doing here)

-- he curiously came up to you and mentioned it however even after those few hours the rain hadn't left and it was still pouring the same weight as it had at the start, and due to the sudden passed time you had no choice to head home even if it means getting drenched. but upon chifuyu hearing your reasoning, there was no way he was gonna leave you walking out in the cold rain while he had a perfectly good umbrella, even if he wanted to leave he just couldn't bring himself to.

-- so he did the first thing that came to mind and that was to try and offer his umbrella to you. at first it seemed convenient for you but then the thought of him going out in the rain with nothing bothered you, so obviously you declined. bit of "no it's fine" here and there but after some of those you both came to an agreement to share it.

-- halfway through with you both walking underneath the same umbrella and chatting away to avoid the awkward silence he walked you home without you realising, he had to turn a corner ages ago but willingly chose to stay with you since you both were having an interesting conversation. and sure enough, thump-thump-thump his heart is racing, ever since then you've been on his mind.

• he feels so much about you, butterflies in his stomach and the need to move around because if hes sat still he'd probably snap in half from the excitement that he can't handle when the thought of you appears. he can explode from the overjoy of interacting with you as if it's a rare thing to happen even though it really isn't, you're just that special. he definitely jumps around and about in his room and punches the air silently whilst trying not to cause too much noise. making a whole new cardio work out.

• whenever he's reading his manga and romance comes in he can't help but picture the two characters to be you and chifuyu. he flicks his eyes between the two characters repeatedly even if he's been on the same page for 5mins, he'd still play out the scenario of them being you two. I mean that whole first encounter almost seemed too cliché to not have come straight out of a movie with unrealistic standards. but no, it all really did happened which causes his mind to go in places that you two are almost casted together and made to talk, as if the universe is setting you both up.

• passing your classroom at any chance he gets just to try and get a glimpse at you but while doing so his heart paces like hes just ran a marathon, he hasn't even seen you yet but the anticipation is killing him. and even when it rains on school days again hes not heading straight home but instead he's making his way to your class to see if you're there again waiting for the rain to leave, always hopeful and wishing that you're empty handed without an umbrella or a hood.

°- ran haitani

-- your in an empty room scribbling something in a sketchbook, using both hard and light pencil strokes. doesn't bother ran at all that you're here doing your own little thing but what actually does is that you're sat in his usual seat. normally he wouldn't try to intervene, especially if it's something this petty plus he wasn't all that desperate to stay here for long but even then, he still walked up to you.

-- first instinct that you had when hearing his footsteps was to close your sketchbook shut before looking up, clearly you don't want no one seeing your personal work/drawings. this little thing perked ran's interest, he doesn't know much about art in the form of paper and pencil, but he's still intrigued as to why you chose to hide it that it made him forget about his petty emotion of you sitting in his seat.

-- in short term, he ended up seeing a few of your pages and the reason for it is cause you despise your own work, despite continuing drawing in your own time you seem to always criticise yourself and think harshly on them. but in his eyes he can't help but be in awe of them, he cant understand what's so bad about the drawings. next thing you know he's asking for a drawing of himself, you didn't seem too bothered by the idea as you were about your skill wondering if you could even pull it off but ran managed to convince you.

-- sitting in a chair in front of you as a muse, meeting eye contact as you looked at his features repeatedly to get the right shape of his eyes, nose and lips. him purposely moving a little to see if you'd say something about it and trying to peek over your sketchbook book to see your progress only for you to move it away out of embarrassment. it took a short while but finally seeing himself on a page in dark grey lead made him feel something, not necessarily a major attraction but appreciation even tho he's the one that pressed on the idea.

-- and that's when the butterflies hit, it's a major delayed reaction but the giddy feeling hit after being the muse and grasping the fact that you were able to draw him this well from you analysing his features, something about this made him more seen than he already is. maybe a confidence boost? who knows, even he himself can't figure it out exactly other than feeling warm from the inside out about you.

• no matter how hard he tries to relax around you he always feels blood rushing in his body making him become tense whenever you two have an interaction as small as just saying hi to each other, and once you both pass he sighs out air as if you've caught his breath and didn't let go, though he also ends up smiling after that sigh but it's more or less a mix of a nervous and happy smile, one that makes you to be unsure if you're supposed to be excited or scared.

• i reckon hes a yapper once he gets comfortable enough, anything that comes to mind he can talk and talk about it with you like his life depends on it, but once he's finished speaking he only then realises the things he's said and regrets it all even if the topics he's talked about aren't all that bad but he still gets embarrassed of himself for letting himself get carried away like that to the point where afterwards he speaks in a much shallower tone "...I don't know why I said that, ignore that" it's kinda cute tho.

• you got him twisting and turning, losing focus in certain activities and even his sight of where he's going. at some point he was walking but his eye view was so focused on you that he ended up walking into the metal, water foundation and he had to embarrassingly play it off hoping that no one had seen the doofus walk right into it as his head was turned 80° in your direction.

°- rindou haitani

-- you and him happen to share the same taste in music and favour the same band/Artist, he knew this by overhearing a conversation you had with someone and that made him perk up a little but not enough for him to engage in the conversation. he'd silently listen in to hear what your favourite song is and guess if your a hardcore fan or just a regular

-- despite rindou not being the one to come forward about the mutual interest that you both have, it was you that needed up going up to him after hearing his music escape though his earphones from how loud he set the volume to be. sure he was a little embarrassed after you mentioned it but once you both started talking about the band, something had opened him up as you talked about it with enthusiasm while he was agreeing with everything that you were saying and adding his own little comments, you were both constantly on the same page.

-- hes gained a small interest in you but not enough to catch feelings and be attached, there's plenty of people with the same interest as him and even though he can't find many it doesn't mean that you should be on top of the list. yet.

-- those previous, tamed feelings were immediately thrown out the window after hearing you sing his favourite song when you thought you were alone, he didn't mean to intrude but when he quietly walked in a room to get something he ended up hearing your voice singing along to a favoured song, you immediately became his favourite cover. your tune and enthusiasm had him captivated and stuck. he didn't get the item but instead but he stood outside of the door listening until you stopped.

• when you suddenly appear and make yourself known he gets a little spooked and drops whatever he was holding in his hands (mainly depends on what the item is, as in if it's not fragile and just a pen) its the type of scare that makes his mind go 'oh shit they're here, act cool, act cool' you can just walk into the room and when Rindou looks up to see you its like his whole body does a nervous shut down for a split second. he's normally not like that at all so when that became a common occurrence he swore he was starting to become insane.

• only you're allowed to touch his glasses or gloves or in fact anything that belongs to rindou. sure his brother is an exception but that's to be expected. if anyone else tried to touch his stuff he'd more than just swat their hand away like an annoying pest, but with you? he feels warm and giddy about you picking his glasses up and trying them on yourself, heat rushes up to his face but he always tries to act cool and casual. he just can't shake the thought that you've worn his glasses that he's wearing right now, it almost feels like getting a high five from your favourite celebrity.

• anyone would probably assume Rindou to be a little heartless from him occasionally being nonchalant around others and sure that's true enough but with you? he's flustered, cannot specify enough of it, poor man can't even go a day without his lungs constantly shifting in volume from the way you get him so nervous. he's even grown to stutter a little, not a whole lot but enough for it to be noticed once in a while and each time he looks back on the sentences he's said he always cringes at himself.

 ♡----

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #kazutora headcanons #baji headcanons #chifuyu headcanons #rindou headcanons #ran headcanons #kazutora hanemiya #baji Keisuke #matsuno chifuyu #ran Haitani #rindou haitani #haitani brothers #baji keisuke x reader #rindou haitani x reader #ran haitani x reader #chifuyu matsuno x reader #kazutora hanemiya x reader #kazutora x reader #baji x reader #chifuyu x reader #ran x reader #rindou x reader

[russellsppttemplates]

My person (Charles Leclerc)

Your brother's best friend is sure you were made for eachother

Note: english is not my first language. Most times I read a brother's best friend trope, it's usually the reader going after the boy, so I felt like doing things a little bit different (also, my brain got a bit jumbled because I was wondering about the perspective, and in the end I went with reader being Joris' twin). Also, I always feel a little bit of impostor's syndrome whenever I post these tropes for which I've read many great pieces about it, and I never know if my ones are good enough to be posted but we're going with it

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

Most people thought having a twin brother was bitter sweet because while you had to share everything since the womb, you had a brother so there came a time where you wanted to have different toys, different rooms and different styles.

Different friends, however, was never a question. Even with different interests, you and Joris often came as a duo, so both of your friend groups were pretty close.

"We're going to Charles' apartment to watch the football game, are you joining us?", Joris asked, throwing himself on your sofa and partially occupying your personal space, "Marta is going to be over and I think she's taking Chiara with her, too".

You don't remember a time where Charles wasn't in your life. Your brother knew him since they were in kindergarten and so there wasn't a memory where he wasn't involved. Which brought you to the last time you were with him, just a week before.

Charles spent the afternoon with Joris at your brother's apartment, wanting to relax and game for the rest of the day.

"It's Y/N", Charles said as he gave Joris his ringing phone, your caller ID prompting him to pick the calk up right away, "can you come and get me, please?", he heard you faintly as Joris got up straight away, listening to whatever you were telling as he put on his trainers and jacket.

"Y/N needs me to pick her up from the café - turns out her date thought she wouldn't mind going home on her own", Joris rolled his eyes, "it will be quick, you're good on your own here?", he checked with Charles, "sure", the driver assured, unpausing the game and carrying on.

Another date and another disappointment for you, Charles thought. While you weren't as close as his brother was to him, he still knew about your life as much as your other friends, and lately you had been looking for someone, your person, you claimed. Luck had yet to join your search as every date you went on seemed to go between bad and awful.

If he had the courage to come clean about his feelings, maybe things would be different. For a while, yes, you were Joris' twin sister and that was it. You were a cool girl and he didn't mind spending time with you or having your hang out with their group, but things changed when you went to university.

Maybe it was your glow up, although you never needed one to catch his eye in the first place, but year after year, you grew to exude confidence, your natural beauty enhanced as you turned into a charming, caring and kind young woman.

Since he didn't want to ruin the bond you had, he watched it all happen from the sidelines. How happy you sounded whenever you had a date later in the week, whenever a cute guy came up to you in the club and how you squealed "I think this one might be the one!" as you excused yourself and declined dinner invitations from the group for a date.

He heard the door open and then close, footsteps approaching the living room as he paused the game just in time for you to sit on the sofa, "what's up, Leclerc?", you nudged his shoulder.

"I'm good, how are you?", he quesioned, "I guess that one isn't the love of your life either?", he semi joked.

"He was certifiable, at the very least", you began as the boys chuckled, "Hey! I'm qualified to make such appreciation! He kept talking about himself and he was borderline sexist, but then he said I would be fine going home on my own? I don't know, it was a mess and I can't believe I even experienced that - I'm going to pretend it was a fever dream", you shrugged your shoulders, "I was expecting to spend the afternoon with him - thank Goodness I didn't, - and the construction work at my place is still going so I don't have anywhere to go, I'm sorry if I'm crashing your afternoon", you gulped.

"It's fine, it's nice having company other than us two playing and screaming at eachother", Charles smiled as Joris shrugged his shoulders, "you're already staying her until the building work is done", you brother offered.

"I wasn't asking you, silly; you're my twin, dealing with me it's something that comes with the job", you winked.

When it came to dinner time, the three of you decided to have take out, your brother calling the restaurant and scheduling a time for him to pick it up, "I'm going to shower", you said as you got up from the sofa, heading to the guest room you were staying in.

By the time you got out, your heard Joris shout that he was leaving while you put on some comfy clothes for the evening in. When you went to the balcony so your towels could air dry for a bit, you sat in the padded chair, looking out to the sunset.

He would come, you thought. It wasn't particularly a manifestation or a "throw it at the universe" kind of thing, but rather something to reassure yourself. You were worthy of the standards you set for yourself and there was someone out there for you, and he would come.

"Hey", Charles stepped into the balcony, coming to sit in the chair next to yours, "a cent for your thoughts?", he smiled softly, the warm yellow and orange light hitting his eyes in a glowy hue.

"Do you believe that the right person for you is out there?", you shot softly.

"I know she is", Charles gulped, "Oh, confident!", you giggled softly, "but it's nice, better than being sulky like me".

"I'm not sure how much better it is. I know she is out there, but it's a little more complicated than just going up to her and tell her that", he played with hia thumbs.

"So you're chickening out?", you quirked your eyebrow, partly teasing him but genuinely curious about it. You didn't have enough fingers to count how many girls tried to approach you and befriend you with the only goal of getting into a friendship circle that would lead them to Charles, and he could probably chat up anyone he wanted, so it was hard for you to understand how he didn't have the love of his life with him yet.

"It's not chickening out if you think it might cause some issues with your friends, I think. I'm being prudent, that's all", Charles tried, wanting to take the opportunity to try and see where you stood. Girls were usually sharper than guys, so you said many times, maybe you'd take the hint.

"If I knew who the love of my life was, I would go to him and never look back. I know it sounds silly, but I wouldn't want to be away from him a second longer, it would be quite shitty if he was in a relationship", you mused, "but if we were really meant to be together - if it was a both ways kind of thing - he would know it, right? Goodness, sound a bit like a romantic sop, don't I?", you chuckled, "but I would fight for him, for us".

Charles felt inspired before he felt a little angry. Here you here saying you would fight until you found your person when he was right there. If it really worked as a both ways thing, you'd have to know and feel the person you kept looking for was him. He broke into a full belly laugh as he stated at you. No make-up, hair sitting in its natural wave and comfy clothes, you never looked so beautiful to him.

"Would you let me fight for us, too?", he mused quietly but loud enough for you to hear, "would you want me to do that?".

Giggling at him, you could only shake your head at his words, "I know this sound silly - Joris teases me enough about it enough", you groaned as your hands covered your face.

"I'm not joking or teasing", Charles clarified, turning to face you on the chair, "All I want is for you to look at me the way you look at them", Charles stated, "whenever you talk about your dates before you go on them, you're so hopeful that that guy will be the one, you look forward to it like it will be that time, and you never looked at me that way when I constantly make efforts to hung the stars and the moon for you and stand there hoping they get to you".

His confession took you off guard. Charles just admitted he liked you, in a way with words that was more elaborate than what any of your dates had ever told you combined.

"I thought you were being nice?! Was this some sort of plan?!", you quesioned immediately. He had been around you your whole life, you surely would've noticed it, wouldn't you?

Charles chuckled in a way you found a smidge belittling, "it wasn't a plan! Y/N, I have not been planning this or doing some strategy, it just happened out of nowhere!", Charles bit back, "like you said, the person for me is out there and she's you!".

The noise from the door pulled both of you out your discussion, your brother's singalong voice announcing he was back with the food.

Dusting your sweatpants, you stepped back inside the living room, shaking off the jitters you had as your brother scrunched up his face, "is everything okay?", he asked.

"Of course, I'm just hungry and you drove like a grandpa here", you bickered back as Charles joined you at the table, "I'll get the cutlery and plates from the kitchen", you mumbled.

The dinner was eaten quietly on your side, Charles and Joris making most of the conversation as you exchanged a few looks with the Formula One driver, your twin brother seemingly obvious as he carried on as usual, "I'm going to bed", you said after helping tidy, "are you sure? We were going to watch something on TV?", Joris asked you.

"I'm getting a headache, so I'll pass, good night boys", you gave them tight lipped smile.

In the bedroom, you changed into your pyjamas and finished your night-time routine and got under the sheets, Charles' words replaying as you looked at the ceiling.

"Y/N? Are you joining us or not? Do you have any plans?", Joris insisted, "you've been weird lately", he pointed out.

"I'll join you, yes, just need to get my hoodie and then I'll be good to go", you scrambled out as your heart beat faster inside your chest.

Joris offered to drive to Charles' apartment, getting there when Riccardo, Marta and little Chiara were alresdy inside with Charles.

"The rest of the group couldn't come, so it's just us", Riccardo said as he noticed your expression, "what a shame, more food for us!", you smirked, sitting next to Marta and playing with the little girl on her lap, "hello, my love, hello!", you cooed in the voice you only had for babies, "look at you so grown up! You get more beautiful everytime I see you", you smiled, tickling her chin softly as she giggled loudly.

"Who did the roast potatoes last time we got together?", Joris stepped back into the living room, "I did", you stated as you grabbed one of the toys on the coffee table, ready to sit down on the floor so you and Chiara could play together.

"Don't sit down!", your brother yelled, "sorry, but you can't sit down - Charles needs help with the potatoes and he doesn't know the recipe like you do", he reasoned as you got up, trying not to show how much you didn't want to be in the same room alone with Charles. Watching football while having dinner with your group of friends was one thing, spending one on one time with Charles after what he said to you the last time was another.

"Hey", you said as you stepped into the kitchen, "Joris said you needed help, what can I do?".

Charles smiled a little, maybe at the irony of your quesion, "I don't know what seasonings to use in these", he said as he showed you the vegetable with the ones he already cut up.

"Okay, do you keep the spices in the same place?", you asked as he nodded, encouraging you to use his kitchen like it was your own.

Opening the cabinets and grabbing what you needed, you started mixing the ingredients and cutting up the ones you needed to, "can you get me the olive oil, please? I can't reach it", you asked and Charles complied, "thank you".

"Is this how this is going to be? Interacting like we haven't known eachother since we were little and like I haven't poured my heart out to you?", Charles said, arms crossed as he rested against the kitchen counter.

"I wasn't counting on you saying all of that, I was so caught off guard that I haven't been able to think about anything else in my off time!", you offered, setting the knife down on the chopping board.

"It's not like people have speeches ready and give of warnings when they're about to confess their feelings for someone... I myself wasn't expecting to do it until the words came out of my mouth", Charles gestured as if he was vomiting, "what do you expect it to be like anyway? People have to warn you they have feelings for you and ask if you want to hear it?! Is that what you want?".

"I want to feel loved, appreciated and valued. I want to be with someone that reminds me that I'm beautiful, that I'm smart and I'm wonderful. I want to share my life with someone who has no trouble with me wanting to have both career goals and family goals, I want someone who supports me as much as a support him, who is willing to do silly things because I enjoy them and who loves me for me, flaws and all", you let out in one go, "That's what I want".

Charles eyebrows climbed on his forehead, "Are you insinuating I can't give you that? Is that why we haven't spoken since that evening at Joris' place?".

"I'm saying you're my brother's best friend, and no matter how much I think you can do it - because you make me feel like that just from being my friend, imagine if we were dating -, I don't want to risk whatever we have, all of us", you gestured to the living room where the rest of the group was.

"Y/N", Charles pleaded, "you don't think I've thought about that? I didn't do it on a whim like you think I did, I've been sitting on this for quite a while, actually", he clarified, "I will respect whatever you decide, okay? But can't just sit and pretend that you don't want this thing between you and me as much as I do, because we could be so good-", he was interrupted as Marta crossed the corner and stepped inside the kitchen, "Charles, can I heat Chiara's soup on the microwave?", she asked with the small tupperware on her hands.

"Sure, here", he guided her as you resumed to seasoning the potatoes, putting them on the tray and then in the oven, "the game is about to start, hurry up!", Joris yelled.

"I'll just wash this, and that too", you took the tupperware's lid as well as the utensils you needed for the dressing.

"I need to cool it down a little, maybe in a bigger bowl", Marta said as Charles helped in getting the bowl from the cupboard as you set the utensils aside to dry, "Merci, Charles, off we go then", she said as she waited for you both to leave and go to the living room so she could follow you.

"Come here, sweet cheeks", you clapped at Chiara, taking her away from your brother's arms and putting her in the highchair so she could eat comfortably, "auntie Y/N is going to give you your delicious soup, yummy yummy", you smiled.

Charles couldn't help but take in the sight, how you made Chiara feel like she was the only person in the world as you smiled and spoke to her, finding a million and one ways to get her to eat the soup in the bowl.

The food was ready by the half-time break, so you all helped with bringing the food to the table, eating it as the team you were supporting ended up winning the game.

"She's knocked out", you pointed out to Riccardo, Chiara asleep in the little makeshift cot you made on the sofa with some pillows and blankets to make sure she was warm and secure.

"We can clean up, you guys go home and take this little princess to sleep in her own bed", Charles smiled, stroking the little girl's cheek softly as he watched her peaceful expression.

"You don't mind?", Marta wondered as the three of you nodded, helping the parents gather their daughter's belongings so they could leave, hoping she wouldn't wake up and make it harder for her to fall back asleep.

"Sweet dreams, petite fleur", you cooed as Marta cuddled Chiara into her chest, squeezing her small hand softly before they walked out of the door.

"These need to go on the dishwasher", you sorted through the plates and checked if they were safe to go on the machine as your brother help you.

"We should probably get going", Joris said, not wanting to overstay your welcome, "do you need anything else, Charles? Otherwise, me and Y/N will leave you to it", he said.

"Actually, me and Charles need to talk, if that's okay", you looked at the driver, catching him by surprise before he nodded in agreement.

Joris didn't dwell too much on it like you thought he would, "so you need me to come and pick you up or...?", he trailed before Charles saved you, "don't worry, I've got her", he stated.

When Charles accompanied your twin brother to the door, he was blunt and honest, "She's my sister, but there could be worse guys than you", Joris offered as Charles narrowed his eyes, "Oh, please, do you think I'm that blind? I've seen the way you look at her and how you always go above and beyond for her - she's just being too stubborn about it to see it, too. Still, if you ever break her heart or cause her any tears of sadness and anger, you're going to wish I didn't know so much about you", he threatened, although it didn't go as planned as they both laughed, "I trust you, there wasn't anyone I would trust like this", he sighed, "you're just lucky you have brothers, otherwise I might've taken revenge on you", he nudged his shoulder.

"I bet Lorenzo would enjoy a cuddle every now and again if you'd like", Charles giggled before he showed his seriousness again, "I just want this to work out between us, I think she's my person, you know?", he mused, realising how cliché and whipped he sounded, "I'll take care of her, you don't need to worry", he assured.

Charles closed the door and walked back to the living room where you sat down on the sofa, legs covered with one of the blankets, "I- thank you for staying back", he smiled, pointing with his eyes to the spot next to you silently asking if he could sit.

You opened the blanket so he could sit next to you and you could both keep warm, "I want to apoligise for not saying anything the last time we spoke, and for how I've handled this", you began, "I'm sorry, Charles", you said earnestly.

"Apology accepted", he nodded, "and did you just stay here to apoligise?", he quesioned.

"I- I thought we could have a date, sort of anyway", you mumbled, "and I could also tell you how I feel about you since it seems I owe you that with what you've told me", you looked into his eyes, "it wasn't that you were ever off bounds or anything like that, I never cared for those supposed rules, but it never occurred to me", you blurted and Charles quirked a brow, "shoot, that's not what I meant, ugh", you grunted as he soothingly rubbed your thigh, "what I meant is I always thought you'd never look at me that way - I'm Joris' twin - so I just took all of the affection I had for you and put it in a friendship feelings and all of the things you did for me, I thought you were just being nice because you're a nice guy", you clarified.

"Does this mean you're letting me treat you like you deserve? Because I plan on making sure you feel and know you're wonderful every single day", he smiled charmingly, confident words contrasting with his shy attempt of lacing your fingers together on his lap.

"How can you be so sure we are eachother's person?", you couldn't help but mumble, even if the butterflies in your stomach were dancing like they hadn't been in a long time, "I just know, and I'll help you see it, too", he smiled, kissing your knuckles before he pulled you to his chest, finding something to watch on the TV.

You both watched reruns of one of your favourite shows, pointing out little details you loved and talking about any topic that came to mind, and once Charles' body warmth and his touches along your arm caught up to your system and lulled you to sleep, your head finding it's spot on his chest as he smiled down at you, your beauty never ceasing to amaze him as he noticed every mole, freckle and scar on your face from up close.

Even if he didn't want to move, and that it wouldn't be the first time he slept on his sofa, he reasoned that he should at least offer you his bed. Softly stroking your cheek, he coaxed you to wake up, "I'm sorry for waking you up, but we can't sleep here", he whispered, kissing the side of your head, "you can sleep in my bed, I'll take the sofa", he offered as you stretched a little bit, removing yourself from his chest.

"If you promise you won't do any funny business, we can sleep in the same bed", you yawned.

"Of course I won't, Y/N! I would never do anything you didn't want to, I-", Charles panicked, not wanting you to think he was trying to take advantage of you.

"I'm only kidding, I know you won't", you assured, arms pulling him to stand up with you as you walked to the bedroom after turning everything off, "I trust you, Charles, completely", you smiled.

To him, it meant the world.

You felt his heart race when your hand landed on his chest, "I need a t-shirt, though, this is not comfy to sleep in", you reasoned as he looked for one on his drawers, "here, you can get ready here while I get ready in the bathroom", he smiled, kissing the top of your head before he stepped inside the ensuite.

After you swapped so you could brush your teeth, you were both undoing the bed, pulling the sheets back over you and having eachother.

"I really want to kiss you right now, but I don't want to cross any boundaries", Charles admitted as your heart raced in your chest, "I'd really like that, you can kiss me if you want", you consented.

Charles leaned to rub your nose in his before kissing your lips softly, allowing you both to revel in the feelings that had been put in labelled boxes at the back of your minds.

Parting your lips to breathe, you cupped Charles' cheek, your palm tickling from his facial hair as your thumb rubbed his skin, "I think you might be right", you mumbled, licking your lips, "about what?", he mused, "about the fact that you'll help me see it too", you smiled.

The next morning, you woke up with Charles looking at you, "Good morning, Y/N", he greeted, "See? I didn't pull any funny business", he wiggled his brows chuckling.

This was a sight you could get used to.

"Good morning", you smiled, "did you sleep well?", you wondered, pulling closer to him now that you were awake.

"I did, did you?", he asked and you nodded, cuddling closer to him and basking in the feeling of just being there.

"We are going to take this as slow as you want", Charles whispered against your forehead, leaving little kisses and pecks on your skin, "but I want you to know I'm all in".

"I'm all in, too", you whispered, "I can't promise you it will be a straight line - or that I won't spiral out every now and again because hey, it's me -, but I feel really good about this, you make me feel really good", you blushed as you kissed between his eyebrows, "having said this, not all of us have the day to do some training and sim racing, and I'm one of them. I have to go home to change and then head to the clinic", you pouted slightly.

"How about I make us some breakfast first, then I'll drop you off?", he suggested, stealing a peck from your lips, "hmm, sounds good", you hummed.

.

"Were you expecting us to be surprised?", Marta said as she and her family arrived in Charles' yacht, the three of them seeing you and Charles kissing at the table.

Throwing your head back in laughter as Charles walked up to help them inside, you shielded your eyes from the sun with your hand, "at least pretend you are", you joked.

"Oh my Goodness, I never thought you two would become a thing? Does this mean we can finally stop hearing your disgraced love life stories and Charles' complaints about who you went on a date with?", Riccardo belted out, catching the attention from a couple on the yacht next to the one you were sitting on.

"To be fair, that's how I noticed it", Marta began, "Charles didn't complain anymore about how he was alone and that the universe wasn't working on his favour", she smirked, greeting you two.

"We have been keeping it down low just to see how things would go", you blushed at getting caught and steering the conversation elsewhere once Chiara babbled at you, "Oh, baby girl, hello!", you cooed, pulling her into your arms.

"Soon enough you can get one of those, I bet your kid would be very very cute", Riccardo nudged Charles' shoulder, loving that the group now could have a few teasing moments and themes at your expense, all in good fun.

"What a warm welcome!", you heard your brother yell, a fake angry and ironic tone noticeable in his voice, "First, no one is here to greet me with a glass of something to drink or even a helping hand to step in", Joris clarified, "then I'm presented with a conversation about my sister's and my best friends sex life, which I don't want to know about by the way!!", he said as he came up to you, kissing the side of your head, "I'm happy she's happy, and that you're all happy together, but no talking about that, please!".

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc x you #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

[sycamoregirlsworld]

Wildflower and Barley- L. Castellan

luke x fem! psyche! reader

“my coffee black, in my bed at 3. you’re too sweet for me.” -hozier

She was too good for him. Luke had realized that since the first day she had come to camp, but he still couldn’t help but want her.

She was impossibly beautiful, inside and out. She was brilliant, and she was a good fighter.

She was one of a kind. Psyche had no other demigod children, and while (Y/n) swore up and down that she inherited no powers from her mother, Luke thought otherwise.

She was intoxicating, she could fill your head with only thoughts of her until you were sure that your soul belonged to her. Everyone wanted her— either as a friend or a lover. Whenever she passed by, heads would turn to follow her.

And that included Luke. For awhile, he was content just being her friend. He couldn’t have her like that—he wasn’t good enough for her— but he was content to just be in her presence.

So he would watch from afar, want building up in him every time she’d smile or even just glance at him.

From an outsiders perspective, you would’ve thought the pair were dating. Luke flirted with her—(Y/n) flirted back too—but to Luke it was just a friendship, she was just being friendly.

And it was staring to drive him crazy—he saw the way girls and guys looked at her—Luke wanted to be the only one who could stare at her like that.

But he wasn’t hers, so it was just a stupid pipe dream.

I mean, she was perfect in his eyes. How could anyone so perfect like someone like him?

While he stayed up at night cursing the gods (more specifically his father) and put on a false show of confidence, she walked around with no worries or doubts following her, only butterflies her mother had undoubtedly sent.

She hadn’t been broken down by the world like he had, so he had decided that he would do anything for her to not be.

(Y/n) told him so many times that he didn’t need to protect her, but he never listened.

Which is how he found himself in the infirmary.

Luke scowled as he looked up at the ceiling, wincing a bit as it pulled at his split lip. (Y/n) was going to be so pissed at him, but he didn’t care.

‘They deserved it.’ He kept repeating to himself as he counted down the seconds until (Y/n) came and ripped him apart.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the door to the infirmary burst open, frantic footsteps following it.

“Luke!” (Y/n)’s worried voice called out as she hurried over to him. “Annabeth told me you were in the infirmary.”

The brown haired boy opened his eyes and smiled at her, patting the spot beside him. “Hey, beautiful.”

(Y/n) frowned at him as she sat down, scanning his bruised face as she anxiously cracked her knuckles. “What happened?” She mumbled. Luke frowned as she tentatively reached out for his face, before hesitating and letting her hand fall back beside her.

“You can touch me, y’know?” He smirked as he grabbed her hand and rested it on his face. “It doesn’t even hurt that bad.”

“Jus’ don’t wanna hurt you..” She averted her gaze, but she kept her hand planted on his cheek.

Luke rolled his eyes fondly as he grabbed her free hand. “I don’t think you could ever hurt me, princess.” His brown eyes twinkled in triumph as she turned her head to glare at him, cheeks burning red.

“Don’t call me that.” She grumbled before pointing a finger at him. “And you’re evading my question! What happened to you!?”

Luke sat up straighter as he smiled bashfully, biting his cheek awkwardly. “Okay, so don’t get mad!”

“That’s an awful way to start this.”

“No— seriously, (Y/n).” He laughed. “Just let me explain.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes at him but shrugged, indicating for him to continue speaking.

“During sword training today, these two Ares boys were talking about you.” Luke sighed. “They were saying gross things— and y’know I couldn’t let them talk about you like that.”

“Man, I don’t know why she hangs around Castellan.” Luke heard one of the Ares boys sigh. His ears perked up at the mention of his name. He crept closer to the two boys, wanting to know what they were saying.

“I could treat her so much better—do her so much better.” The other snorted and winked at his friend. “She looks innocent but I bet she’s hiding some freaky secrets.”

Luke felt his face grow hot in anger as he realized the conversation was about his bestfriend—not to mention that they were talking about how they wanted to fuck her. It made him feel sick.

“Hey guys.” He frowned as he walked up to the boys, his hands grasping onto their shoulders. He could feel one of them tense up as he heard Luke’s voice, and it gave him a sick sense of satisfaction.

He didn’t think he was all that scary, but if he scared these guys enough to back off (Y/n), he would take it.

“Oh— hey, Luke.” One of them swallowed thickly as he turned his head to look at Luke.

His friend on the other hand, didn’t look as scared as he turned towards Luke with his chest puffed out.

“Hey man.” He smirked as he looked Luke up and down. “How’re you doing?”

“I was doing just fine, until I heard you talking about (Y/n) like that.” Luke crossed his arms with a glare.

“Don’t be so jealous, dude.” He scoffed as he ‘playfully’ punched Luke in the shoulder. “Just because she let you fuck doesn’t mean—”

And that was all it took for Luke to pull back his fist and connect it to the boys nose.

(Y/n) stared down at Luke with a small frown as he finished recounting his story. “Luke..” She began.

“I know, I know— you don’t like it when I get in fights.” Luke sighed and looked up at her with soft eyes, silently pleading her to not tell him off this time.

“I really don’t.” She mumbled as pulled on her necklace, it was a nervous habit of hers. “Especially fights about me.”

“Well, I’m your bestfriend.” He shrugged. “If I’m not going to defend you from creeps, what am I good for?”

(Y/n) frowned as she stared down at him, her eyes softening. “It just makes me feel bad when you get hurt because me.”

Luke sat up in the bed and tugged her into a hug. “M’ not getting hurt because of you.” He mumbled into her hair. “And anyways, you know I would do anything for you.”

(Y/n) wrapped her arms around him tightly. “I don’t care what other guys say about me, I’ve got you.” Her voice was muffled by his shirt, and Luke was sure she could feel his heart beating erratically.

‘Did she just… is she saying what I think she is?’ Luke pinched himself, this couldn’t be real.

“Luke?” Her voice pulled him away from his thoughts. She moved away from his chest and looked up at him, her cheeks bashfully red.

“Most guys wouldn’t get into fights over their best friend…” She trailed off, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

Luke swallowed as he looked down at her, he could feel his mind clouding with want.

She was right, most guys wouldn’t beat someone up because they wanted to fuck their bestfriend.

“Maybe.. it’s because I want to be more then your friend.” He breathed out as he leaned his head down. His breath fanned over her face as their noses brushed. He was so close he could taste it, but he’d never taste her without permission.

“Maybe I want you to be more then my friend.” (Y/n) smiled as she moved closer. Her lips brushed against his and it took everything in him not to take her right there.

“Please— kiss me.” His face burned red as he squeezed his eyes shut.

In an instant, (Y/n) had her lips firmly pressed against his. She threaded her fingers through his hair, careful to avoid his injuries, as she tugged him closer.

Luke felt his breath hitch as her lips moved against his in a frantic pace. Gods, he had been wanting this for so long and now he finally had it.

He grabbed her hips and pulled her onto his lap, lips still attached to hers. He could feel himself start to lose his composure as she gasped into his mouth. She was so beautiful, he just wanted her—

“Luke.” (Y/n) pulled away from this kiss and stared down at him, wide eyed and breathless. “We’re in the infirmary.”

“And..?” Luke tilted his head as he squeezed her thighs.

“And you’re hurt!”

Luke smirked and grabbed her chin, bringing her down to him once more.

“Good thing we’re in the infirmary.”

#luke castellan #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo series #pjo tv show #aesthetic #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #charlie bushnell

[livingforthehopeofitalll]

Invisible Girl- Pt. 1 🫥

Coriolanus Snow x Reader

*Follows movie adaptation*

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Y/N Ravinstill's world was one of opulence and deceit. Born into the prestigious Ravinstill family, she was overshadowed by her twin brother Felix, whose incompetence was forgiven due to his gender.

One evening, Y/N's mother scolded her for reading a political article. "Leave those matters to your brother, Y/N. A woman's concerns are different."

"Felix, you should learn something from your sister," President Ravinstill would jest, not realizing the injustice in his words.

Y/N sat in her room, browsing over ancient texts. Felix barged in, a condescending smirk on his face. "Still pretending you're as capable as me, little sister? No amount of reading can change the fact that you're just a woman."

Y/N, accustomed to such belittlement, held her composure. "Perhaps, Felix, you mistake arrogance for capability."

There was a rare combination of beauty and intellect that Y/N possessed and it went unnoticed by her family. The Ravinstills upheld a tradition of favoring males, her potential was dismissed, and achievements ignored. Her only escape was the Academy, where her last name granted her popularity, yet the disdain lingered even there.

———————————————————-

Y/N's escape was the Academy, a place where her family name granted her popularity. But popularity came at a price. Arachne, fueled by jealousy, made Y/N's life unbearable and she endured the hate with a grace that only fueled Arachne's bitterness.

Sejanus, the rebellious soul, recognized Y/N's struggles. He became her friend, a companion in the silent rebellion against the Capitol's prejudices. Coriolanus, the ambitious but conflicted boy from the fallen Snow dynasty, observed Y/N from a distance, his curiosity growing into something more.

"She's different, Sejanus. She sees beyond the surface. It's... intriguing," Coriolanus admitted, his eyes following Y/N's graceful movements.

-——————————————————— It was a chilly afternoon at the Academy, and the courtyard was deserted, except for Coriolanus, who sat alone at a weathered bench, picking at his leftover lunch. His eyes were distant, lost in the tumultuous thoughts that often haunted him. Unbeknownst to him, Y/N observed from a distance her heart was stirred by an unspoken compassion.

Approaching cautiously, Y/N cleared her throat, "Coriolanus, is this seat taken?"

He looked up, surprise flickering in his eyes. "Oh, um, no. You can sit."

Wordlessly, she placed a small bundle on the table—a set of clothes that once belonged to Felix but were discarded without a second thought. "I thought you might need these. My brother doesn't appreciate good things."

Coriolanus, unused to such kindness, stammered, "I... thanks, Y/N. But why?"

She shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips. "Because we're more than the labels they put on us, remember? If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

Coriolanus, taken aback by this unexpected gesture, blushed, his usual guarded demeanor momentarily shattered. "I... sure, thanks."

From that day forward, an unspoken understanding formed between them. Y/N's act of kindness became a bridge, allowing them to traverse the gap that societal expectations had created.

-———————————————————

As weeks passed, Coriolanus found himself seeking Y/N's company more often. Their interactions evolved from awkward exchanges to genuine conversations, laughter, and shared secrets. The walls he had carefully built around himself began to crumble.

One afternoon, Y/N caught Coriolanus stealing glances at her during a lecture. "What's on your mind, Coryo?" she teased.

He looked away, feigning nonchalance. "Nothing, just... thinking."

Y/N's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Thinking about what, exactly?"

Coriolanus, unable to hide his smile, admitted, "Maybe about someone who's changed my perspective on a lot of things."

———————————————————

The Academy's grand hall buzzed with the energy of students preparing for the day's classes. Y/N, usually composed, entered the room, unaware that Arachne, fueled by jealousy, had plotted a public humiliation.

As Y/N took her seat, whispers circulated through the room. Arachne, with a venomous smile, stood up and called out, "Attention, everyone! I have a little game to play. Let's see if Y/N, with all her supposed intelligence, can handle a real challenge."

Sejanus and Coriolanus exchanged uneasy glances as the class turned its attention to Y/N. The atmosphere thickened with anticipation.

Arachne approached Y/N's desk, brandishing a sheet of paper. "I found this abandoned in the library. Looks like someone's secret poetry." She grinned maliciously.

Y/N, caught off guard, felt her face flush with embarrassment. The room fell silent as Arachne began to read aloud, her tone dripping with mockery.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, In the shadows, Y/N's secrets are true. A girl who thinks she's smart and wise, But in reality, it's all just lies."

Felix, seated nearby, erupted into laughter, relishing the moment. The cruel jest reverberated through the room, and Y/Ns friends, Sejanus and Coriolanus, exchanged glares with Arachne.

Sejanus, unable to tolerate the humiliation, spoke out, "Arachne, enough! This is petty and unnecessary."

Coriolanus, torn between his loyalty to Y/N and the desire to fit into the Capitol's expectations, remained silent, his gaze fixed on the floor.

Undeterred, Arachne continued, "Oh, Sejanus, you always were the bleeding heart. Can't you see? Y/N's just like the rest of us—full of flaws and secrets."

Y/N, gathering her composure, met Arachne's gaze. "I'm shocked you are so interested in me, Crane. Perhaps you should focus on all of your flaws instead of creating drama."

The retort, though defiant, only fueled Arachne's anger. As the class continued, whispers persisted, but Y/N, resilient, turned her attention to the lesson at hand. Little did Arachne know, the attempted humiliation only strengthened Y/N's resolve to defy the expectations placed upon her by the Capitol, and the ember of resistance within her burned brighter than ever.

#coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #tbosas fic

[sl-ut]

like real people do

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

description: abby is one hundred percent, totally, and completely straight. that is, until she meets y/n.

warnings: UNEDITED, swearing, slight hints of nsfw, alcohol consumption, a hint of homophobia? (not really but just in case)

words: 5.9K

date posted: 08/02/24

The years had not been kind to Abby. By the time that she and her friends were celebrating her twenty-first birthday, the woman had suffered many losses; the death of her mother at a young age, her father’s murder a few years back, and most recently, her breakup with Owen. She was quick to discover that the universe was not exactly on her side. 

From her perspective, Owen was not just a boyfriend. Of course, he was hardly even that at most times, but he also represented the time in her life where everything was good; Salt Lake City, spending time in the woods with him and her dad, playing stupid little games to pass the time with him, Manny, and Mel…he reminded her of when everything was easier. She sometimes felt guilty for this, considering that she sometimes couldn’t tell whether her emotional attachment to him was because of how much she cared for him or for the impossible standards she’s always held him to. 

Seattle represented a new beginning for her and her friends. They were able to find a new community, stay together, and live a semi-normal life that even the Fireflies were unable to offer them. Things were good there, people generally liked her, and she was quickly making her way up the ranks as one of the top WLF soldiers, though there were certainly some downsides. At the WLF compound, she began to see things in a new light; She was able to focus on herself for once, do the things that she wanted and branch out more than before. She was no longer limited to the small world of the few Fireflies who actually made it out of Salt Lake City. 

It’s for this reason that she holds herself at least somewhat accountable for how things ended with Owen. Of course, she didn’t blame herself for his infidelity, nor for him choosing to do so with one of her closest friends, but she knew that it was her distance that caused the rift to form between them. She felt betrayed by them, obviously, but as time passed, it seemed clear to her that she was more hurt by the fact that it was her two closest confidants who had caused the pain, not the fact that Owen and Mel had been sleeping together for months before she and Owen called it quits. 

Her saving grace during this period of her life came in the form of someone she would later consider her best friend, despite how offended Manny gets each time she calls her that. Her first interaction with Y/n was the moment that she knew she needed to have her in her life, one way or another. 

She hadn’t noticed her right away, but who would? Amidst the thunderous crowd of the cafeteria just before lunch, it would be nearly impossible to notice anyone who she wasn’t directly looking for, which in a way, is how Abby noticed her to begin with. Manny was actually the one to sniff her out first, as he so often did with pretty girls, his midnight black hair standing out against the white fluorescent lighting. She beelined for him, an annoyed expression crossing her features as she figured out the reason why he’d been late for patrol.

“Manny!” She barked, “How many times do I have to drag your ass to the gate before you actually show up on ti–”

Her attention was immediately caught by the figure sitting across the table from him, eyes falling on a young woman with a look of shock on her face, clearly concerned by the large woman who’d nearly pulled Manny out of his seat with only one hand.

“Abby!” He greeted, doing his best to brush it off, “I was just on my way to meet you when I got distracted by this one,” He winked at the girl with a laugh, “Don’t blame me, it’s entirely her fault. Cierto, hermosa?”

Every engorged muscle in Abby’s body had to hold her back from physically gagging at his obnoxious charm, but she was a bit relieved to see that the girl did not seem to be falling for it so easily. 

“Whatever,” the blonde shook her head, trying to suppress any of the nerves that seemed to have wormed their way into her bloodstream under the girl’s stare, “We’re late, and I’m not taking anymore shit from Isaac over you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He shrugged, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he began to head towards the door, offering a short goodbye to the girl before jogging to catch up with the blonde, who’d sped off in an attempt to get herself away from the girl. 

“Cute, right?” He asked, a knowing smirk on his lips.

She shrugged, “Yeah, your standards seem to be on the rise, finally. What ever happened to the medic–what was her name again? Ginger?”

“Me and Y/n? In my dreams, sure,” He stared at her with a raised brow, “I’m not exactly…her type.”

Something clicked in her mind, and made the twisting feeling in her gut worsen. Goosebumps prickled at her skin as she thought back on the roaming stare of the girl in the cafeteria–Y/n, as Manny had called her. Had she been checking Abby out? And why did that idea excite her so much?

“Oh,” she hummed.

“You, however… you definitely were. Did you see the way she was looking at you? Like she wanted you to–”

“Shut up, would you?” She sneered, “I’m not–that’s not–”

“I know,” he sighed, though a knowing look crossed his features, “I know.”

A few days had passed before Abby had run into Y/n again, only this time, it was a much more pleasant interaction. Abby had been spending a lot of time in the library, especially since her breakup with Owen and even ended up sleeping there some nights when Manny took the liberty of reserving the room for himself and whatever girl he was dating at the time. She found some peace there, burying her nose into random books from before the outbreak and pretending that, for just a few minutes, she isn’t just the top scar killer in the WLF. There was hardly ever anyone else there, which was a definite plus; She still had a long way to go before she’d be used to all the attention she gets around the arena. This day in particular. though, someone else occupied her usual seat in the furthest corner, by the window. 

She jumped in surprise at the sight of another person in her place, holding her palm to her chest to hold in any noise that may have emitted from her throat. The girl raised her head to look over the thick spine of the hardcover book she was reading, surprise evident on her own face as well.

“Sorry,” Abby choked out, “I just wasn’t expecting…I’m usually the only one here.”

“Oh,” Y/n sat up straighter, laying her book page-down on the table in front of her, “Yeah, I usually take the book back to my room, but my roommate is a little…busy at the moment.”

Abby snorted, “I get what you mean. Mine too.”

There was a beat of silence before Y/n chimed in again, “What are you reading?”

Abby glanced down at the book in her hand, eyes scanning over the faded words on the cover. She actually hadn’t known what book she’d taken off the shelf, just slowly making her way through every book in the library, “Uh, Jane Air–Eyre. First one I grabbed.”

“That’s a good one,” Y/n nodded, “One of the classics, I think they used to call them.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Abby mentally kicked herself, of course she would completely blank in front of the girl she’d been thinking about all week (but she was still, totally not into her). “Uh, what about you?”

Y/n smiled, “A Complete History of the Western World. Call me nostalgic, but I like learning about how things were before.”

“Me too,” Abby smiles, “In a way, it’s kinda comforting to see that this isn’t how things always were, you know?”

Y/n grinned, which quickly turned into a frown, “Sorry, I didn’t even…I’m Y/n.”

Abby smiled tightly, cheeks burning red as she reached forward to accept the hand offered to her, “I’m–”

“Abby,” Y/n smiled bashfully, “I know. You’re Manny’s friend, and sort of a big deal around here.”

Abby shrugged, the red of her cheeks now stretching to reach the tips of her ears, “Yeah, that’s what everyone seems to say. Not sure if I really live up to that expectation, though.”

Y/n chuckled before glancing down at her cracked wrist watch, a wrinkle appearing between her eyebrows as she closed her book and stood up from her seat, “Sorry, not trying to run away from you or anything, just lost track of time. Talk to you later, Abby.”

The next few weeks passed with several more interactions between the pair, and Abby would actually consider Y/n to be a friend. They could often be found in the library together, or grabbing a bite to eat with one another and sometimes a few others. Manny often grumbled about Abby swooping in and stealing his friends, but he always seemed to be more than happy to see the two of them together. That strange feeling did not disappear, though, like Abby thought it would. In fact, it got considerably worse.

Instead of having a little bit of nerves around her, Abby was struggling to keep herself from constantly pulling her into her lap, or reaching out to hold her hand across the table, or to tell her how deeply in love with her she wa–except Abby is straight. She likes guys. She dated Owen, and she was deeply hurt by his betrayal, right?

That’s what she told herself. Each longing to touch Y/n was just her own loneliness talking, every time she wanted to be held, it was her basic human need for affection, not because she was romantically or sexually interested in another woman. In fact, she had a little bit of a crush on one of the guys she went on patrol with the other day, or so she told Y/n. She made an effort to make it abundantly clear to the girl that there would be no romantic relationship between them, and was relieved when Y/n didn’t seem to put off by it. She continued to hang out with her, and to invite her to different social events around the arena.

This one was different, though. Abby went, fully intending to spend the night by Y/n’s side, people watching and making fun of Manny as he struck out time and time again. She had arrived to the party with Nora, a bit of pep in her step as she slid into the common area, face falling as she immediately took notice of Y/n on the couch across the room, a soft smile on her face as she listened intently to whatever the girl next to her was saying, her arm curled loosely around Y/n’s shoulders.

Abby felt sick, almost giving in to the instinct to turn and run, and she is positive that if it hadn’t been for Nora being right behind her, she probably would have. She hesitantly stepped further into the room, glancing around awkwardly in hopes of finding someone to hide her from Y/n before she could catch her attention, though it only took a moment’s glance for Y/n to turn her head and shout, waving both Abby and Nora over to where she and the other girl were sitting. 

The girl’s name was Samyah, and Abby decided on the spot that she hated her. She hated the way that she talked, the way she dressed, they way she smelled, the way that Y/n looked at her, and most of all, she hated the way that she held Y/n’s hand as she led her out of the common room, hooded eyes making it clear what was about to happen. But it didn’t really matter, because Abby is straight and this wasn’t going to last anymore than one night.

Except it did. Weeks later, Samyah was still very present in Y/n’s life. Abby cringed every time she had to witness them kiss, or touch each other in any way beyond what could be considered platonic. She prayed every night that something would happen, that Samyah would cheat or die out on patrol, anything to have her away from Y/n for more than a few hours at a time, but when it really happened, she couldn’t help but fear that she may have willed it into existence–Abby wasn’t a religious person, but this seemed to be a bit too on the nose for it to not have been divine intervention. 

Y/n and Samyah had been hooking up for a few weeks when Y/n turned up at Abby’s room, cheeks glossy with tear stains and eyes burning red. Abby was quick to take her into her arms, ignoring the selfish part of her that was singing at the mere contact. She held her tightly, sitting her down on the edge of her bed and stroking the back of her head soothingly, waiting for her to tell her what had happened. 

“Let me know when you’re ready to talk,” She had whispered into her hair before pressing a firm kiss there.

It was less than a moment later when a sharp sniff could be heard and Y/n’s watery voice began to retell what had taken place earlier that evening.

“Samyah has a boyfriend, apparently,” She wept, “She told me she isn’t gay, she just wanted to see what it was like.”

Abby’s entire body burned hot with anger, and then with embarrassment. What would Y/n think if she were to tell her that she’d been wondering the same thing? How would she be able to move forward knowing fully-well that she was no different from Samyah, someone who she had been condemning over the way that she treated Y/n? 

But was it the same? Was it really? Since she had met Y/n, she hadn’t even glanced twice at Owen, let alone any other man. She was all she could think about, day and night, and yet she still couldn’t seem to come to terms with the fact her feelings for her might have been more than platonic. It wasn’t as if she were too ashamed or was actually against the idea of her dating another woman, she was just confused as to why these feelings hadn’t come up before. Sure, there were times where she thought Mel was the prettiest girl she’d ever seen, but that was back when there weren’t many other girls around (and she wasn’t screwing her Abby’s boyfriend), and there was once where she’d had a rather promiscuous dream about Nora, but nothing had ever evolved further than that. 

These thoughts started to keep her up at night. She liked Y/n, she really did, but was it worth risking her friendship only for Abby to decide that she wasn’t gay at all? What if she was just curious? It was normal for people her age to be interested in exploring these things, only she was sort of stuck in a situation where she was unable to. She couldn’t go to Y/n for help with this, that much was blatantly obvious, but what about someone else? She tried to think of other girls she could go to for help, but there was no one who she could immediately think of that she could go to without also risking her friendship with Y/n; she’d been insistent early on in their friendship that she was not interested in women at all, especially when Y/n made it clear that she most certainly was, and more precisely, in Abby, so what would she think if she found out that Abby had slept with another woman after insisting that she wasn’t interested? That might be more dangerous than going to her for help.

It was getting harder to ignore, as well. Y/n was increasingly dependant on Abby for comfort for weeks after she ended things with Samyah, not that Abby minded, but it was growing more difficult not to hold her to her chest as they share a pillow every night, to not reach out and take her hand every time they walk side-by side, to not push her onto the bed every time she undresses in front of her, to pin her down and–

Then Y/n moved on. She was still quite upset, but she had decided that she wasn’t going to spend any more time dwelling on someone who obviously did not care about her, so she met Reagan. Abby didn’t hate Reagan the same way that she had with Samyah, she clearly liked Y/n and treated her as well as she could, considering that they were in the middle of the apocalypse. She was funny, and she fit in with the rest of their friends better than Abby would have liked; she wanted to hate her so much, but the only reason she could think of was purely out of selfishness, that being the fact that Y/n spending time with Reagan meant that she was not spending time with Abby, and after a few weeks of near constant contact with one another, Abby was sure she was going through withdrawals.

It all came to a head when Manny demanded that she take some time off of patrol. With Reagan always around, she had taken it upon herself to start accepting extra duties to avoid having to spend time with the group, and more specifically, Y/n. He’d made some arrangements and assigned someone else to her shift without even telling her, and all but dragged her down the hall and into the rec room. Y/n and Reagan had yet to arrive, but Abby knew that, if she was going to be forced to sit and watch Reagan practically hang off of the girl that she was probably in love with, she was gonna need a drink.

Abby wasn’t normally a big drinker. In her early days in the WLF, there had been a few times where she’d had more than she probably needed, but it also meant that she didn’t necessarily have the highest tolerance, especially with Manny being the one mixing her drinks. He’d been more than excited when Abby went for her second drink, and decided that they needed to go drink for drink with one another. Needless to say, by the time Y/n arrived, Abby was drunk. 

“Abs!” The voice sounded excited as they curled their arms around Abby’s neck from behind, leaning over the back of the sofa she was sitting on to hug her warmly, “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

It almost felt like time had stopped the moment her eyes landed on Y/n, admiring the glint of the dim lights on her clean skin. Her hair was still damp, she’d just showered before coming to the party, and Abby couldn’t help but wish she’d also done so by the pooling of sweat on her forehead and palms. She leaned her head back against her shoulder, turning to glide her nose against her neck in a much more affectionate manner than she would have if she had been sober.

“Hi,” She mumbled, “You smell good.”

“It’s the lotion we found on patrol a few weeks ago,” Y/n laughed, “And you’re drunk.”

Abby shrugged, “No, just a little tipsy.”

Nora scoffed out a laugh as she plopped down on the armchair next to her, “Tipsy? Please, she’s been letting Manny mix her drinks all night.”

Y/n pulled away, leaving Abby to let out a small whine of defeat, “Uh oh. Something must be wrong to have you drinking Manny’s concoctions.”

“Hey!” The latino appeared seemingly out of thin air, “You’ve just lost yourself drink privileges.”

She raised her hands in surrender, “Not the threat you think it is, pendejo.”

Y/n threw herself onto the couch next to Abby, settling close enough for their arms to press against one another and sending Abby into what she assumed could only be early heart failure. 

“Seriously though, where’ve you been?”

The blonde shrugged once more, “Busy, I guess. Lots of patrols needed to be covered.”

“So you covered…all of them?”

Abby was quiet for a moment, then quickly changed the subject, “Where’s Reagan? Aren’t you two basically attached at the hip or something?”

The smile on Y/n’s face flickered for a beat, and Abby immediately felt a pang of guilt squeeze at her stomach and regret filled her for hurling such a harsh tone at her.

“Something came up,” Y/n turned her gaze to her interlocked fingers in her lap, “She’s not gonna make it.”

Abby recognized a familiar sadness in her voice, one that she had hoped to never hear again, so she dropped the topic and instead found herself falling into a conversation similar to one they would have had before Reagan came into the picture. Things felt right again, especially as Y/n’s hand grasped onto her thick bicep everytime she laughed, and she didn’t push her hand away when she reached over and rested it on her knee–that had to mean something, right?

After Abby finished her fifth drink, things began to get too fuzzy for her to handle, her head dropping back onto the back of the couch with a grunt, her eyes squinting shut in a weak attempt to refocus herself. Y/n glanced up at her, concern painting her features as she reached a hand up to stroke Abby’s flushed cheek. 

“You feeling okay?”

Abby grunted in response, leaning her cheek even further into her hand.

Y/n chuckled at her, pulling herself away to stand up and taking hold of Abby’s hand. The blonde’s eyes popped open at the contact, staring up at the girl with hooded eyes as she attempted to pull her to her feet. Abby pushed herself up, forcing her entire body weight into Y/n’s figure faster than she could have anticipated, almost knocking them both to the floor.

“Woah, steady girl,” Y/n laughed, slinging one of her arms over her shoulder, “I think it’s time to get you to bed, don’t you think?”

Abby nodded sleepily, allowing her to pull her along down the hallway, thankfully not having to climb any stairs to Abby’s room with the girl who was 95% muscle on her back. She was able to get her into the room and seated on her mattress with very little trouble–Abby was very compliant with every order that came out of her mouth. 

She sat back, allowing her to wipe a wet cloth over her face gently, her eyes struggling to stay open even though she was eager to see her face up close and personal once more. 

“Can I ask you something?” She murmured quietly, using every ounce of her strength to keep herself from moaning under Y/n’s touch. 

“Of course.”

She paused for a moment, almost like she was thinking it over, though she had no control over the words that spilled out of her mouth, “Do you think I’m pretty?”

Y/n stopped her movements, causing Abby’s eyes to shoot open and fall on the grinning face before her. She laughed softly, then louder until her laughter filled the room and bounced off of the walls. 

“Sorry, sorry,” she lifted a hand to cover her mouth to contain her giggles, “That’s just not what I was expecting. But,” Y/n reached around and tugged the elastic out of Abby’s blonde hair, carefully untwisting the braid until her long hair settled around her shoulders, “I think you are very pretty.”

She smiled, mumbling out a quiet thank you.

“I have another question.”

“I think it’s only fair that I get to ask you one first.”

Abby raised her eyebrows, but was quick to nod in agreement. 

Y/n leaned back against the footboard of Abby’s bed, setting the cloth aside, “Why’ve you been ignoring me lately?”

“I’m not–” the blonde argued, pausing to compose herself, “I’m not ignoring you. I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I?”

“Abby.”

The blonde girl winced at her stern tone, wary of meeting her gaze, “Look, it’s not like I don’t wanna be around you, it’s just…” 

Don’t say it, her very sober subconscious was pleading with her, please.

Her drunk mouth didn’t listen, “Reagan.”

“Reagan?” Y/n frowned, “What about her?”

A small smile appeared on Abby’s lips, “Nuh-uh, it’s my turn.”

Y/n scoffed, rolling her eyes in annoyance, but urging her to ask nonetheless.

“Do you love her?”

“Do I–Abby, why are you asking me this?”

Her bashful eyes fell to her lap, “I think you know why.”

“No, Abby I don’t–”

Her words were silenced, a hum of shock vibrating through her throat as Abby lurched forward, lips pressing sloppily against her own. Y/n froze, neither pulling away nor reciprocating, just remaining in place until Abby pulled away for air. 

Abby smiled, resting her forehead against Y/n’s softly. She was drunk, yes, but she had never felt more sober and in-tune with her own feelings as she was then, just after kissing the girl she was so hopelessly in love with for the very first time. 

The spell she was under broke the moment her eyelids fluttered open, allowing her to spot the hooded stare and tear-stained cheeks of the girl in front of her.

“Y/n? What’s–”

“You’re drunk, Abby,” she scowled, pushing herself away, “You should go to bed.”

“What? I just–No, please don’t go.”

Y/n turned to face her sharply, “Why? So you can use me for your own pleasure and then kick me to the curb?”

“What?”

“I mean–Jesus, Abby. You were there after Samyah. You were the one who told me she was such a bitch, that I deserved better, but you’re doing the same goddamn thing. Worst of all, you know how I feel about you, but you made it very clear to me that you didn’t feel the same, so I backed off.”

“I love you,” She stammered out, “I-I’m in love with you.”

Y/n laughed bitterly, shaking her head.

“Please,” Abby, fell to the floor as she tried to push her body off of the bed, “I’m telling you the truth. I-I didn’t know before, but I do now.”

Y/n sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose to collect herself, turning to face her once more before fleeing the room, “Go to bed, Abby. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Except they didn’t talk the next day. Or the one after that. Abby basically avoided Y/n like the plague after doing what she did. How could she? Everything that Y/n had said to her was true, she’d known it for weeks. Hell, it was the exact reason why she hadn’t made a move on her sooner. 

She knew she couldn’t escape her forever, though. The WLF stadium was pretty big, but they would both be living there for the rest of their (hopefully long) lives and would be bound to run into each other at some point in that time. She was also already in a fairly deep state of depression because of what had happened between the two of them, but also because of how much she just missed having her around. 

Which is why she found herself outside Y/n’s bedroom door after returning from a particularly risky patrol that had ended in only four of them returning from a group of seven. Abby was shaky as she made her way back inside the compound, her muscles screaming with every step and her body begging her for a shower and a long sleep, but her feet mindlessly carried her in the opposite direction of her own room. Her fist rapped against the thin wood before she could even process it, but she couldn’t run away now, not when she’d been pinned under a scar only an hour ago with a knife to her throat. 

Y/n looked a bit dishevelled as she opened the door, and Abby immediately thought the worst; had she really just shown up at her door at night? What if Reagan was in there? What had Y/n been doing in there when she knocked? Had Abby really interrupted her having sex with someone else?

But the lazy yawn that escaped her puffy lips forced Abby to realise that, no, she hadn’t interrupted her with someone else, she’d woken her up, which somehow made her feel worse.

“Abby?”

“Sorry, uh, is this a bad time?” She shifted her weight back and forth nervously. 

“No, I was just–no, it’s not,” Y/n crossed her arms over her chest, “You’ve been avoiding me. Again.”

“I know,” Abby frowned, “I’m sorry. For everything. You have every right to be mad at me–fuck, you have every right to never wanna talk to me again, but I just have to let you know how sorry I am and how much you mean to me.”

Y/n shifted her gaze to the floor for a moment before nodding, glancing back up at Abby and stepping back to open the door wider, “Wanna come in?”

Abby nodded eagerly, stepping inside with caution. She glanced around, taking in the small changes that had been made since she’d last been here. Y/n bedroom was, well, hardly even a bedroom. It was about the size of a large broom closet, just enough room to jam two twin beds and two small dressers inside, though she and her roommate had taken the initiative to make it somewhat cosy inside. Thankfully, the second bed was empty that night, meaning that she didn’t have to hold back.

“Wanna sit?” Y/n motioned to the foot of her bed as she took a seat near the headboard. 

“Uh,” Abby glanced down at her dirty attire, “I shouldn't. Sorry, I didn’t even change before I came here–fuck, I’m so sorry.” 

Y/n shook her head, “Hey, it’s okay, Abs. We can sit on the floor?”

The blonde’s shoulders loosened at the use of that nickname, almost like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she lowered herself to sit directly across from Y/n on the carpeted floor. 

It was quiet for a beat, both of the girls sitting in silence as they watched, both anxiously waiting to see who would speak first. 

“Did you mean it?” Y/n was the first to crack.

“Did I mean…”

“You know what I’m talking about. You were drunk, but you avoided me like a clicker, Abby, so please don’t play dumb and just talk to me.”

Abby cleared her throat, “Yes. I meant it.”

Y/n let out a heavy breath, and Abby couldn’t tell if she was relieved or even more upset with her answer, “Okay, so you meant it. But why couldn’t you just tell me that? You knew how I felt about you when we first met, but you told me you weren’t interested so that was that.”

Abby shook her head, “It wasn’t like that. When we first met, I was…still dealing with how things ended with Owen. I was angry and hurt, and I really thought I would never get over it. But then, after a little while, I started to realise that I wasn’t heartbroken over him, I was angry that he and Mel didn’t have the decency to talk to me before they started fucking behind my back.”

“Okay,” Y/n nodded, “But after that? Is it some kind of internalised homophobic shit going on? If it is, you could’ve talked to me about it, I could’ve helped you.”

“It’s not that. It wasn’t that I was scared or ashamed of myself, it was that I didn’t even really think about it, I guess. Then, when I finally did, you were with Samyah, and then that ended and you were so upset, and that got me thinking that…I don’t know, what if I was the same as her? What if I was just wanting to experiment? I didn’t wanna talk to you about it because I didn’t wanna lose you, and I didn’t want you to think that I was the same as her,” Abby could feel her eyes stinging from the sudden onset of tears, “And then by the time I realised that that wasn’t the case, you were already with Reagan.”

Y/n opened her mouth to speak, but Abby cut her off.

“I know, you’re with her, and if that’s what you want, then that’s fine. I want you to be happy. But I can’t leave here knowing that I didn’t tell you that I am in love with you, so much that I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

Y/n didn’t answer, not verbally. Instead, she threw herself across the room, clambering into Abby’s lap and messily pressing her lips against hers. Abby was quick to reciprocate, her lips moving against hers steadily and conforming the once sloppy movements into a more slow and rhythmic embrace. Her arms moved to wrap around her waist, palms sliding up and down her back greedily as Y/n gently took Abby’s flushed cheeks into her own hands. 

When they finally pulled away, they both broke into wide grins, leaning in to peck each other once more. 

“Reagan and I aren’t together. I guess I was just on the rebound and she was looking for a fling, but it’s over.” Y/n whispered, “ I love you too, so much that I do know what to do with myself.”

Abby laughed, eyes trailing down her body and finally settling on the dirt and mud and blood that had transferred from her own dirty clothes to Y/n’s. 

“Shit, sorry, got you kinda dirty.”

Y/n glanced down at herself, then shrugged with a sly glint in her eye, “It’s okay. It just means that we’re both gonna have to go shower before bed, right?”

Abby stared at her in awe for a moment, brain finally catching up to her words as she jumped to her feet, hauling Y/n up into her arms as she began a quick march in the direction of the women’s showers, the otherwise quiet hallway being disturbed by Y/n’s squeal of surprise and laughter as the tall blonde carried her. 

Though the laughter was certainly more bearable to the surrounding rooms than the sounds that echoed from the showers over the next hour, though Abby couldn’t find a single ounce of concern for the others in the moment, just glad that she was finally able to hold and touch and kiss Y/n, just like real people do.

#reader insert #x reader #imagines #lesbian #abby anderson #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #abby anderson x you

[lixiepixiedust]

hurt people hurt people

pairing — idolbf!felix x f!reader; established relationship

word count — 3.4k words

warnings — she/her reader, hurt/comfort, argument between reader and felix, angst, fluff, happy ending, cursing, felix just wants to hold someone again, members are kind of mean but i promise it's not targeted against them :(

summary — after his experiences, he learnt one thing. they'll only like him better if he's not himself. he thought you were one of them so he acted different around you too, but really, he just ended up hurting you how he was hurt.

Felix has always been known to be the most cuddly member in Stray Kids. Taking the opportunity whenever he could, he would leap onto his fellow members, catching them off guard while they were busy with something. However, it was no secret that, more often than not, these moments were mostly for his own comfort.

Despite his genuine intentions, there were times when some of his members found it hard to reciprocate the clinginess. During down times, they preferred to be alone to gather their thoughts, yet Felix always found comfort in hugs to help.

"You've got to ease up a bit, Felix. Clinging to people like glue is starting to become annoying," one of his members once told him.

After this conversation, it seemed like the rest of the members started gaining the confidence to express their feelings about Felix's behaviour, resulting them to distance themselves whenever he tried to initiate contact. Although Felix understood their perspective, it still stung. All the times they hugged him back or told him he made them feel better with his cuddles. It was like everything was insincere. 

Felix decided to change. He never did anything more than a high five, and during late-night drives from shows, he tried his best not to fall asleep on his members to avoid annoying them. Gradually, he noticed a change in his members' behaviour—they began liking him more, including him in conversations without the need for him to include himself.

Feeling a sense of inclusion, Felix decided that was how it should stay. He realized that keeping it this way could make people like him more. And just like that, he became the least cuddly member.

When you came into his life, he was met with an exact copy of his old self. Whenever he was on a call or doing work, you always found the need to pounce onto him and nestle yourself into him. He has gotten used to not having to be affectionate his people so it was weird to see someone who actually initiated contact first for once. This led him to being slightly distant from you.

"Felix!" you called from the bathroom.

"Yea? You okay?" he responded from the bedroom nearby.

"Could you grab me a towel?" you requested.

You heard him rise from the bed, making his way to the closet for a bath towel. As he approached, you shivered in the cold air, a stark contrast to the warm shower you had just enjoyed. He extended the towel toward you, his attention fully focused on the phone in his hand.

"Thanks, Lix," you said, offering a smile.

"Yeah," he replied, still glancing away.

After Felix headed to the room first, claiming his usual spot on the bed, you decided to indulge in your nighttime skincare routine. The soft glow from the bathroom light illuminated your face as you moisturized, then moved to the dresser to brush your hair. With your hair now smooth and untangled, you turned off the bathroom light and left the bathroom.

As you made your way to the bed, you noticed Felix lying there, scrolling through his phone. Quietly, you leaned over and switched off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. Felix, still buried in his phone, didn't notice your approach until you leaped onto the bed and sprawled out beside him. You propped yourself up on your elbow, peeking at his screen with a mischievous glint in your eye.

"Whatcha doin'?" you inquired, your voice playful.

Felix, startled by your sudden intrusion, glanced at you and smiled. "Just some stuff for work. What's up?"

You scooted closer, ignoring the amused yet puzzled look he gave you. "Nothing much. Just wondering why my boyfriend is so engrossed in his phone when he has someone as interesting as me right here."

"You're always interesting, Y/n. I just got caught up in some messages."

You grinned, appreciating his response. "Fair enough. But you know, you can put that down for a while." With that, you snatched his phone, earning a gasp from Felix.

"Hey!" He took it back from you.

You chuckled and leaned in, resting your head on his shoulder. "I just did my skincare, and my skin is feeling so soft. Wanna feel?"

Felix raised an eyebrow, fake disgust on his face. "Do I?" he repeated, his tone teasing.

You reached for his hand and guided it to your cheek. "Feel it. I used that fancy moisturizer you got me."

Felix hesitated for a moment, then ran his fingers over your skin. "Hmm, not bad," he admitted, a faint smile playing on his lips.

Despite Felix's initial engagement in your conversation, you felt him subtly shifting his attention back to his phone. However, this time, instead of feeling a sense of rejection, you decided to playfully address it.

"Alright, Mr. Busy, I see how it is," you rolled your eyes.

Felix looked up, a sheepish smile on his face. "Sorry, babe. Emails keep coming in."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. I know your phone is practically glued to your hand. Do you even love me anymore?" you said dramatically.

"Of course I love you." His eyes swiftly looked at you then back at his phone.

You grinned, satisfied with his response. "Good, because I happen to love you too, even if you always act like your scared of me or something whenever I touch you."

Felix's expression shifted slightly, and you couldn't help but notice a hint of hurt in his eyes as they slowly gazed at you. It dawned on you that your playful remark might have struck a chord. You quickly backtracked, realizing that your attempt at humor might have unintentionally crossed a line.

"Well, not that it's bad or anything" you spoke quickly.

The room fell into an awkward silence, and you could feel the tension lingering in the air. Desperate to diffuse the situation, you attempted to switch the topic, rambling on about the colors gold and silver and how they complemented Felix's style.

You reach out to the necklace and fiddle with it between your fingers. "Oh by the way, Felix, I was thinking, do you think gold or silver looks better on you? I mean, you always wear those silver earrings, but gold has this warm tone that might suit you too. Not that silver doesn't look amazing, it does, but have you ever tried gold?"

Your words seemed to hang in the air, met with only silence from Felix. He kept his gaze fixed on the phone, fingers tapping away, seemingly lost in the messages or emails that occupied his attention.

"Or maybe a combination of both could work? Like, a subtle mix of gold and silver accessories. You know, they say mixing metals is a fashion statement. What do you think? Felix?"

Again, no response. Your attempt at a one-sided conversation continued, the one-sidedness becoming increasingly apparent.

"I mean, you always look good in anything, so I guess it doesn't really matter. But it's just a thought, you know? I was just thinking about how your style could evolve. Not that it needs to change! You're perfect just the way you are, but you know, I just thought..."

"Y/n, can you stop?" Felix's voice cut through the silence, and you lifted your head from his chest to meet his gaze. 

Confusion etched across your face as you asked, "What?"

Felix looked at you, his expression a mix of frustration and contemplation. For a moment, he hesitated, as if debating whether to voice the thoughts that lingered in his mind. Finally, he spoke, "This... all of this. Can't we just have a quiet moment without you sticking to me or talking this much?"

Your brows furrowed, caught off guard by his sudden request. "Is this because of what I said? If it was I'm sorry."

Felix's eyes flickered with a mixture of annoyance and something else you couldn't quite decipher. "It's not just about what you said. It's about the constant need for attention. I can't even have a moment to myself without you clinging onto me."

You recoiled slightly, hurt evident in your eyes. "I just wanted to spend time with you."

"You're suffocating me," he retorted, his tone sharper than before.

"Suffocating? Felix, we're in a relationship. Couples spend time together. I thought that's what we were doing," you defended.

He sighed, frustration evident in his voice. "There's spending time together, and then there's this constant need for validation. I can't even check my messages without you turning it into a drama."

You felt a knot forming in your stomach, a mix of confusion and hurt. "I never meant to. I just wanted to be close to you. What's so wrong about that?"

Felix sat up, his eyes locking onto yours. "Because it's too much! Can't you see that? I need space, Y/n. I can't be your source of constant entertainment."

The tension in the room escalated, and you could feel the weight of his words settling in. "I didn't think wanting to be close to my boyfriend was asking for too much," you muttered, more to yourself than to him.

Unknown to you, in his mind, Felix was wrestling with the contrast between your actions and his past self.

If I was always like this with the members, what must they have felt? Or did they just tolerate it to spare my feelings? he thought. Maybe they needed space, just like I do now. But I never gave it to them. I never thought about how they felt. All the times I thought I was comforting them was just me comforting myself.

As these thoughts swirled in his mind, he looked back at you.

Felix's frustration grew, evident in the way he raked a hand through his hair. "I need time for myself, and I thought you'd understand that."

"I do understand, Felix," you replied, your voice quivering.

He shook his head, the frustration in his eyes deepening. "No, you don't, Y/n. You never understand."

The words hung in the air, a heavy silence settling between you. It felt like a punch to the gut, the realization that the person you loved needed something you couldn't provide at that moment.

He sighed, a mix of regret and frustration in his eyes. "We all need to compromise in a relationship. It can't always be about what one person wants."

It can't always be what one person wants. That was something I should've kept in mind all those years of being a fuckin annoying ass.

"I'm not asking for much, just a little affection," you said, your voice pleading.

Felix shook his head, frustration evident in his expression. "It's not about affection, it's about balance. And right now, it feels like there's no balance."

The argument hung in the air, and you could see the emotional exhaustion on Felix's face. It was clear that, in his attempt to avoid the clinginess he experienced with his past self, he swung too far in the opposite direction.

You sat in silence for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. "So, what now?" you finally asked, your voice small.

Felix ran a hand through his hair, looking conflicted. "I don't know, Y/n. Maybe we need some time to figure things out. I just need space right now. I think it would be best for both of us."

Tears welled up in your eyes as Felix's words echoed in the dimly lit room. The air felt heavy with unspoken tension, and you struggled to find the right words to convey the hurt that was gnawing at your heart.

"I'm sorry, Felix," you whispered, your voice shaky. "I didn't mean to make you feel suffocated."

Felix sighed, his expression softening slightly at the sound of your remorse. "Y/n, I need to figure things out too. We both do."

You nodded, a mixture of sadness and understanding in your eyes. "I get it."

As you spoke, a single tear trickled down your cheek, and you hastily wiped it away. The vulnerability of the moment weighed on you, making it difficult to maintain composure.

"I never wanted to be a burden, Felix," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry."

Without another word, you got up from the bed, leaving the room in a quiet haste. As you closed the door behind you, you leaned against it, taking a moment to collect yourself. The weight of uncertainty lingered in the air, and you couldn't shake the feeling of doubt that crept into your mind. It stung. All the times he hugged you back or told you that you made him feel better by simply cuddling him. It was like everything was fake.

As you reached a more secluded part of the apartment, you sank onto the floor, your emotions finally overwhelming you. Tears streamed down your face, and you cradled your face in your hands, grappling with the ache of a love that seemed to be slipping away. 

The thing that hurt the most was how you were so blind to his feelings? The moments when he pulled away or tensed up, you brushed them aside, thinking he was just having a bad day or was in a strange mood. Now, it became painfully clear that you had been disregarding his boundaries, forcing him into a role he wasn't comfortable playing.

As you sat alone in the dimly lit living room, the guilt twisted your insides. How could you have been so blind and selfish? Your attempts to draw him closer were, in reality, pushing him further away. You always thought whenever he would push away from you or ignore your affection, he was just trying to joke around. The thought of him feeling uncomfortable with you became a bitter pill to swallow.

You wondered if he had ever truly enjoyed those moments or if he had only tolerated them to avoid hurting your feelings. The pain of realizing that your actions might have caused him discomfort gnawed at you, and you felt a sinking sensation in your chest.

The apartment was enveloped in a heavy silence, broken only by the soft sobs that escaped your lips. Unbeknownst to you, Felix had eventually decided to leave the bedroom, and as he walked down the hallway, he heard the muffled sound of your tears. His heart sank, guilt gnawing at him for the pain he had unintentionally caused.

As he approached the dimly lit living room, he found you huddled on the floor, your shoulders trembling with each stifled sob. Felix hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to approach the situation. The weight of his own realizations bore down on him, and he felt an overwhelming urge to be there for you.

He silently sat down beside you, leaving a respectful distance, yet close enough to offer comfort. His eyes softened as he watched you wipe away tears, and a pang of regret tightened his chest.

Felix sighed, his gaze fixed on the floor. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

There was a moment of uneasy silence before you spoke again, your voice filled with vulnerability. "Why did you fake everything, Felix. Everything you ever reciprocated was fake." You knew you were more mad at yourself than him. "You made me think you liked everything I did."

"Y/n, it wasn't fake" he mumbled.

"Stop lying, Felix." you blew your nose, "You know what? It's fine. From now on just tell me what you want me to do. I'll do it. I can stop being clingy and stop asking so many questions. You can tell me when to come over or not. I'll change anything, I just want you to like me."

His breath hitched. You thinking exactly how he did at the time. Wanting to change himself simply for another person's validation. That is how he ended up like he is now and he brought that pain onto you.

"Y/n, never change yourself, " He said, almost like a threat, while turning to you with tears brimming his eyes.

"But you don't even like me for who I am," you sobbed.

Felix ran a hand through his hair, a conflicted expression on his face. "I do, Y/n. So so much. But you started reminding me of-" He paused for a sigh, "Me. and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

His words hung in the air, and you felt a pang of confusion.

"Huh?" you asked softly, while blowing your nose.

Felix looked away, his voice carrying a hint of sorrow. "A year ago, I was all touchy, too. But then I noticed that they liked me better when I was less clingy. I didn't want to repeat the same mistakes, so I tried to be different with you."

The weight of his confession lingered in the room, and you felt a deep sense of understanding wash over you.

However, you inquired, "Who's 'they'"

"My members, friends, everyone. They all thought I was too much. I didn't want that for you."

"But I don't want you to be different, Felix," you admitted, your voice trembling. "I just want to be close to you."

Felix turned to you, his eyes glistening. "I want that too, Y/n. All I ever wanted to do is just lay in your arms and tell you about my day and just fall asleep. But I'm scared that I'd make you feel uncomfortable."

His words hung in the air, and you could feel the raw honesty behind them. The realization that Felix had been holding back his true self for fear of repeating past mistakes tugged at your heart.

"I didn't know," you whispered, your voice filled with regret. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Y/n," he shook his head, indicating that it's not your fault. "I don't think you know that back then, I could get way more clingy than you are now." Felix chuckled.

"That's impossible," you replied as Felix shook his head.

Felix sighed, a mixture of sadness and relief in his eyes. "I'll need to figure myself out cause I don't want to lose what we have" He reached out, gently wiping away a stray tear from your cheek.

As Felix's touch lingered on your cheek, you looked into his eyes, finding a glimmer of hope amidst the emotional turmoil. "Felix, maybe… maybe you should talk to your members about this. I'm sure they don't feel the way you think they do. They might understand and help you."

Felix hesitated, his gaze dropping for a moment before meeting yours again. "I don't know."

You nodded, understanding the complexity of his feelings. "I get that, but I also know they care about you."

Felix sighed, the weight of the situation evident in his expression. "I'll think about it, but for now, I need some time to reflect on everything."

"Take all the time you need, Felix. I'll be here when you're ready to talk," you assured him, your voice filled with sincerity.

"Thank you for understanding, Y/n. I appreciate it more than you know."

The two of you sat in the quiet living room, wrapped in a shared sense of vulnerability. The air felt lighter, the unspoken tension dissipating, and you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope for the future.

In the following days, Felix did indeed take some time to reflect on his feelings and the dynamics within the relationship. The idea of talking to his members about it lingered in the back of his mind, and eventually, he mustered the courage to bring it up during a group discussion.

As Felix shared his thoughts and concerns, his members listened attentively, offering support and reassurance. To his surprise, they not only understood but also shared their own experiences of finding a balance between personal space and closeness within the group.

Hyunjin, in particular, spoke up, "Felix, how are fucking stupid! Now I feel so bad! You being all mean doesn't change how much we care about you."

Felix felt a sense of relief wash over him, realizing that his fears of being a burden or misunderstood were unfounded.

With this newfound clarity and the support of both you and his members, Felix started to find a love for being affectionate again. It wasn't an instant transformation, but gradual adjustments and open communication allowed him to overcome his insecurities.

"Felix?"

"Yes, babe!"

"Can you get me a towel?"

He entered the bathroom with a white towel in hand, his attention tethered to his phone. Nonchalantly placing the device on the sink counter, he fixed his gaze on you. A sly grin danced on his lips as he boldly looked at you from head to toe. With an assertive move, he opened up the bath towel, enveloping you with it by pulling you into an unexpectedly intense hug that left no room for escape.

#skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz hurt/comfort #stray kids hurt/comfort #felix fluff #felix angst #lee felix #felix fic #stray kids felix #skz felix #felix x y/n #felix x reader #skz felix x reader #stray kids fanfic #felix x you #lee youngbok #felix skz #felix stray kids #stray kids #skz fic #skz imagines #felix hurt/comfort #felix argument

[thatfandomslut]

I Can't Quit You

Regina George x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Trigger Warnings: in denial Regina, make-out descriptions

Request:

Valentine's / Followers Celebration; Regina George w/ quote 7 and piece of chocolate 7. Or: “I can't see anything I don't like about you.” w/ falling in love.

Valentine's / Followers Celebration requests are closed.

Regina George was the ice queen of North Shore High School. She implemented fear into her classmates, or subjects, with just one startling look from her cold, blue eyes. If looks could kill, everyone at North Shore would be dead. However, at this moment, Regina found that she was the one terrified. And all because her long-time best friend with benefits smiled at her from across the hall. She swore that her heart now had an irregular heartbeat thanks to the rush it got before it was palpitated. Her face flushed and she experienced an involuntary action of her hand raising unconsciously and waving. When Regina realized what she was doing, her fingers twitched as she quickly turned away to walk into her classroom.

Admittedly, she had never experienced anything like this in her entire life. She had crushed on people before, but this feeling was entirely new. This was more than a simple crush, but she refused to say the diagnosis of this feeling out loud. She was falling in love, and Regina was terrified. When people are in love, they are soft and have a new perspective on life. Why would Regina want that? She couldn't fall in love, she was supposed to marry for money, like her mother did. Still, she couldn't help the giddy feeling flooding her chest as (Y/n) crossed her mind.

When lunchtime eventually made its way around, Regina was still cursing herself for feeling the way she did. She was trying to remind herself that 'love' was for the weak-minded. Regina was not weak-minded. She didn't understand why she couldn't just stop herself from feeling this way. It was easy when it came to Aaron and Shane. Though, she never actually felt anything for them. Why couldn't she just will away the feeling she got when (Y/n) walked into the lunchroom, saying 'hello' to all of her friends? Regina momentarily forgot that she wasn't supposed to be admiring her bright grin, but she couldn't help but fixate on it until their eyes made contact with each other.

"Hello, ladies," (Y/n) approached the Plastics table, everyone greeting her warmly. The only person who didn't speak was Regina, but she did throw a kind smile her way. She was nervous that if she spoke, she would word vomit all of her feelings in front of everyone. She couldn't show weakness in front of the Plastics, nor could she show weakness in front of everyone in the lunchroom. "I was hoping I could politely steal away Regina for just a moment."

Regina got up before following (Y/n) to their usual spot. Typically, they would make out right about now, but neither of them made the move. Instead, they shared a smile. "What's wrong, Regina? You don't really seem like yourself today." Regina was perplexed that (Y/n) noticed such a detail. After all, they didn't share very many classes, so all she had to work off of was limited texts due to class and smiles as they passed each other through the halls. This did not help Regina as she found herself unable to repress the feeling that caused a swarm of butterflies to invade her stomach.

“I can't see anything I don't like about you,” Regina admitted quietly, bracing herself for rejection. Instead, (Y/n)'s brows furrowed in confusion, prompting Regina to continue. Nerves bundled in her chest as she crossed her arms, unconsciously using this as a way to protect herself from her own feelings and fear of rejection. (Y/n), ever so observant, noticed this action as she placed a careful hand on Regina's arm to let her know it was going to be okay. "I'm not someone who falls for others. I'm used to having people fall for me. Then, you came along, we became friends, then more… and, now, I want even more than that. I can't quit you no matter how terrified I am of this feeling."

(Y/n) listened to Regina, shock filling her body as she stared at Regina for a long moment. She felt the same way, she was just surprised that Regina was the one who said it first. "I understand completely. I can't quit you either. Feelings like these are terrifying. But, maybe we can take it slow. We can go on dates, and do more than just make out." (Y/n) suggested gently, hoping this appease Regina. She knew out of the two of them, it would be Regina who would struggle with her feelings. Additionally, she imagined this conversation many times before and this was her best solution to how to help ease any of Regina's fears.

There was a moment of silence as (Y/n) gave Regina the time to think about her words. "We can take it slow, but I don't want to just be friends. I was scared to admit my feelings for you because I thought people might think I was too soft. Truth is, I am, for you. I can't just be your friend. So, if it's okay with you… as we explore this relationship together, can we be a couple?" Regina questioned.

(Y/n) nodded softly, kissing Regina softly. "We can. Does being a couple mean being girlfriends? Or, are we just talking?" She asked softly, her hand still on Regina's arm. Only now, her thumb was rubbing Regina's arm comfortingly as they talked. They've had deep discussions like this before, but this was different. This was about them, not about others or little complaints about their days. Whatever happened next would define them as people for however long they would let it.

Regina took one of (Y/n)'s hands into hers as she smiled softly. She could feel herself falling more in love (Y/n) at just the feeling of their fingertips briefly touching before their fingers laced together happily. "I want to be your girlfriend," Regina confirmed before pressing a gentle kiss onto (Y/n)'s lips. The action was reciprocated happily as the two spent the rest of their lunch hidden away in their usual supply closet. Regina decided that those who considered her weak because she was in a relationship would be in for a wake-up call because, if anything (Y/n) made her stronger.

#regina x reader #regina george x reader #mean girls x reader #mean girls

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 7.

Summary: A chance to look through Oliver Quick's eyes as he watches through windows, decides he wants to be loved, and finally takes a chance with the reader. Until it comes crashing down because Michael Gavey called Felix a slag, and it's made Oliver's problem.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: SMUT (we see reader topping felix from last chapter but through oliver's perspective, cockwarming, vague somnophilia because of that i guess??, reader getting head and reader giving head but reader's AGAB is not specified), also some vaguely unsettling imagery i guess, and the scene in felix's room with the cleaning is made even more tense and uncomfortable

A/N: 7084 words. POV shift to Oliver! Also this chapter is FUCKING HUGE, i tried to find a good place to maybe split it, but couldn't find one. so you're stuck with 7k, eat up friends! also i would really appreciate if anyone has any thoughts about how i've written oliver, id love to hear them, i don't want him to 100% like the reader, and i think ive managed to have him come across more uh, cerebral i guess im going with? yeah thoughts good, would love some. holy shit this chapter goes so many places.

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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Y/N's been rambling on about reading Anna Karenina for one of their classes ever since they'd met Oliver after his final class for the day, but he's barely able to focus on their words. Usually he likes to look like he's paying attention to their words, he knows it makes him seem attentive, and everybody loves to feel heard, but Oliver's mind is elsewhere. It's in the garden outside of Y/N's window. It's outside their door where he'd sat patiently, giving blithe smiles to your dormmates and telling them he was simply waiting for you to get dressed. The doors of the Oxford dormitories were thick, but not thick enough to hide sound on the other side from an ear pressed up against them when the hallway was empty.

It's not even close to the first time he'd seen you in these moments together; how no-one else in your group of friends, apart from Farleigh he suspected, believed you two were sleeping together was baffling. Wilful ignorance is a hell of a drug. He hopes the two of you never learn how to close your blinds.

But there was something different about yesterday.

"Any of youse seen Felix? Or Y/N?" He'd approached the group on the grass with the same kind of hesitancy he'd always put on for them, never wanting to seem too arrogant, to comfortable in their presence. He knew they didn't like him, but people like this liked feeling powerful over the 'lesser folk'. Anyways, it's not like he was particularly keen on befriending any of them, it was okay to hold them at arm's length.

Farleigh, beautiful, condescending Farleigh, looked up at him through his lashes; there was no sun in his eyes, the squint was more likely to be him half-pulling a face of contempt with plausible deniability.

"Maybe." Unhelpful.

"Y/N came through here like a fucking hurricane," Annabel told him; Oliver could only think of the irritating nasal in her voice as she'd listed off all the things she hadn't liked about him to Felix when they hadn't known he was around. Oliver fought not to make a face of his own.

"Took Felix and headed that way," a blonde boy -Rex? Reg? Oliver hadn't even bothered to retain his name - nods in the direction of the dorms.

"They're so co-dependent sometimes," India shakes her head, strange little expression on her face. Perhaps she did know and was trying to convince herself otherwise.

"Yeah," laughed Annabel, "they could have at least tried meditating or something."

"I don't know," Farleigh shook his head, clicking his tongue, "I don't think they have any other coping mechanisms apart from their co-dependant shit."

"They've always been like this?" India actually sounds a little fond.

"It actually used to be worse," Farleigh snorted, and Annabel pitched herself back in the grass, claiming that it couldn't be true.

"I mean, with that kind of money I think Felix is allowed to be weirdly close to his cousin," India says with a shrug. What? Why was the group laughing like it was an in-joke.

"They're cousins?" Oliver asks; Farleigh he knew about, but no-one had ever really talked about how Felix and Y/N had gotten so close. Considering all he'd seen them do together -

"Kissing, codependent cousins," Annabel sighs, sitting up.

"Hot, kissing, codependent cousins," India wraps an arm around her in solidarity, and the girls share an exasperated chuckle, though from looking around it seemed that a lot of the group shared that sentiment.

"You're hot too, Farleigh -"

"Thanks, but I'll stick with just that for now, I'm happy being the non-kissing, non-codependent cousin," he chuckled, before turning his attention back to Oliver, still awkwardly by the edge of the group as everyone else continued to gossip. However, catching Farleigh's eye, for the barest moment, his wolfish grin, Oliver had total and complete confirmation that Felix and Y/N were in no way actually related.

Which, if he were to guess, meant that Farleigh definitely knew the two of you were sleeping together.

And judging from all the times Oliver had spoken to you both, neither of you were aware of this well established gossip in the group, Farleigh was never ever going to correct anyone, considering how damn funny he clearly thought the entire bit was. It at least explained how the rest of the group was so unphased by the closeness you and Felix shared, while still apparently - kind of - dating other people.

Eventually, tired of putting up his awkward façade, though he was grateful for the slim amount of information he'd learned, he clears his throat.

"So -"

"That way," Farleigh doesn't look at him this time, voice flat, thumb jerking towards Y/N's dorm.

Its the afternoon, grey, most people are at classes, so the courtyard outside of your dorm room is empty of any other living souls. Whenever he stops in, or even walks past, he checks in your window out of habit to see if you're in; you don't close your blinds often so it's an easy way to tell. Anyone passing by wouldn't be able to see anything, not unless they stopped and made an effort, but Oliver wasn't most people, and knew the layout of your room and how to search it when granted even a sliver to look through like today.

And today, not only are you in your dorm with Felix, as predicted, but the sight of you both makes his mouth go dry.

Felix Catton on his back, arching, perfect mouth open in some kind of wanton, whorish noise undoubtedly as you masterfully worked his cock with your hand. Fuck, Oliver knows he shouldn't be here, shouldn't be watching this.

He steps forward into the bushes. They rustle, his heart jumps, but neither of you seem to notice.

He can't see your face with your back to him like this, but you must be saying something, because Felix's lips are moving and his chest is heaving as he's gasping out words. Oliver knows he's embarrassing flush, embarrassingly hard in these fucking slacks, but the courtyard is still empty, and he knows all too well how little the outside world matters to you and Felix in these moments.

He can feel his heart beating in his throat, in his ears, painfully against his ribs as you slide one leg so smoothly over Felix's hips, hand between your own thighs as you hover yourself above him. You're toying with Felix, taking your time, taking full and total control in a way Oliver's never seen you do. He didn't know anyone could make Felix act like this, look like this; he never thought Felix would let anyone. But he shouldn't be surprised that it's you of all people.

When you lean down over Felix, your chest against his, like a proud lion over its prey, Oliver feels sick with himself, with how he wants to burn this fucking image into his brain, with how fucking perfectly he can watch from here as you take the entire length of Felix's cock. Its impressive, both his length, and how fucking easy you make it look. You're kissing him. You're fucking him. You're riding this Adonis in a way that makes him pliant and desperate beneath you.

Oliver steps back from the window, finally glancing around to double check his surroundings. No-one peeking out of windows, no-one around. He heads inside. He knows he shouldn't but he does, pulls out the sweater he'd loaned from Felix and folds it in his lap when he sits with his back against your door, both as an excuse should anyone walk past, and to hide the visible hardness in his pants.

Sometimes you're too quiet to hear, but the way the bed creaks and the two of you moan, it's some kind of debauched symphony. Oliver swears he's not a masochist, but it almost hurts to hear you both like this, like something out of a dream or a fantasy, and to remain stone-faced at your bedroom door -

"I want everyone else you ever fuck to be jealous of the way you let me fuck you."

Oliver can't even begin to imagine the things this means, the things you want to do to Felix, but then he hears -

"Yes, fuck, yes- my Y/N, anything you want - please." Felix gasping, begging like Oliver's never heard before. Sounds he knows only you could have elicited from the man who makes people around him fall in love with him by accident.

Oliver Quick is never going to get these moments out of his head; he's never been so desperate to be wanted by anyone in his life, let alone two people. There is a shameless, lascivious kind of love between you both that he vows to get the chance to drink from the source.

It's again changed his perception of you, perhaps made him a little bolder once more. So the day after, walking to the pub after class, barely listening to you talk about your book, he's trying to see if anything's changed. As far as he was aware, your encounter with Felix the day before was unusual for you. Perhaps something's changed, and perhaps he's not subtle about looking.

It's something unspoken between you, it ebbs and flows depending on Oliver's mood, how bold he's feeling. A quiet, voyeuristic exchange you share, the pleasure of being watched, and the pleasure of watching. The roles reverse and your eyes are on him in the way eyes rarely are.

More the observant than the observed, he'd told you, yet he took pleasure in feeling your gaze upon him, taking the time that he knows is so precious to you to watch him. You are familiar to him in a way that is so foreign; you are watching and adapting and anticipating the desires around you. Not action, but reaction; a people-pleaser down to your bones, wrapped up Felix's brand of hedonism. You get off making people feel loved, but Oliver can't help but wonder about the desire you keep to yourself, just below the surface.

Neither of you have spoken about the night at the club; Oliver's desperate to see how long it will take you before you act, rather than get pushed into reacting. He doesn't know how long he can last.

Felix shows up to the pub with Annabel and a strained smile that doesn't reach his eyes. Which is better than Annabel's outright scowl. They sit in chairs across from the rounded bench that always took up half the table your group liked to tension filling the ample space between them. As the last to arrive, everyone else's attention was drawn to them, going quiet as everyone picked up the couple's sour mood.

There's a moment where Oliver catches the way Felix looks at you across the table. No-one else picks up on it, since in the next moment Felix raises his hands to cover a cough, and what Oliver suspects is a grin, but you've turned your head sharply, sniffing loudly and almost managing to press your face into Oliver's shoulder. After a beat you fake a sneeze, and apologise. Oliver brushes it off, and fights off a smile of his own. He doesn't have all the details, but clearly you made good on your promise to make Felix's other future fucks jealous.

"You know what? I'm desperate for a pint, anybody else -" Felix goes to stand, attempting to break the tension, but immediately Annabel scoffs.

"Desperate sounds about right." And she's not quiet with her scorn.

"Can you not do this now? We've been here two minutes, you want a drink?" He hissed, trying to keep up a positive façade despite the faint anger and embarrassment in his eyes. It doesn't last, of course, not with all eyes on the pair of them. It's Farleigh who speaks up first, not even bothering to hide his smug smile.

"You okay there, Felix?" He wears a grin that's all teeth.

"What?" Felix frowns, but Oliver can see exactly what Farleigh's talking about. When he brings it up, however, he does his best to sound genuinely innocent, concerned even.

"Have you got yourself hurt, Felix?" And when Felix meets his gaze he knows it's come across as intended, the conflict and frustration still somehow looking beautiful in his brown eyes.

"No, I'm fine," he tugs at the collar of his shirt, hoping it sits a little higher, hides the hickey that's clearly there.

"Burn yourself on a curling iron, Felix?" India teases, matching Farleigh's earlier energy, and while it did nothing to help Annabel's mood, at least Felix no longer seemed conflicted.

"Had a run in with a particularly aggressive vacuum cleaner?" You piped up from beside Oliver, and the minute Felix sees your own triumphant grin he starts to go pink around the ears and has to duck his head.

"Try several vacuum cleaners," Annabel snapped to the table, "or one whorish townie girl!" For just a moment, the group is quiet, contemplating what she'd said, the upset in her voice, but it's short-lived.

"How many vacuum cleaners?" Farleigh leans forward, elbows on the table and chin on his hands with a grin like the Cheshire cat. Felix tells him to fuck off, but his blush is still distinct.

"They're all over him," Annabel sticks her nose in the air, arms crossed and looking especially petulant. The lads at the table did actually cheer at that, much to her continued frustration.

"You spend entire nights hitting on other guys in front of me! You made eye contact while one latched himself onto your neck as I was trying to dance!" Felix argued back, and the jury of their peers began to shake their heads at this new information. Annabel pouted for a moment.

"That's different -"

"It kinda isn't," India tried to shoot for sympathetic, wincing as she said it, which was enough for Annabel to sigh dramatically, standing from the table.

"Fine, I do want a drink," and she immediately made a furious beeline for the bar. Felix, however, hesitated for a moment, watching her leave before he turned back to the group with a cocky smile, yanking down the collar of his shirt to show off several more bright, scandalous hickeys.

"Best vacuum cleaner I've ever had," he tells them all smugly, before standing up straight and righting his shirt, "okay, this round's on me." A cheer rises from the group, but as Felix walks off, Oliver catches the way he winks at Y/N. You snort a quiet laugh, but Oliver's pretty sure he's the only one who heard it.

Christ, you two weren't even trying to be subtle half the time.

Still, for all her apparent frustration at Felix's mystery partner, it seemed to only make Annabel cling to him further. No more flirting with strangers, no more sitting apart. She reeks of insecurity, but Oliver just watches you watching her. There's something in your eyes in these moments, like a lion too sated to be bothered with the hunt, but the instinct to pounce could resurface at any moment.

But Oliver's obsession with the intricacies of your lives still lead him outside of Felix's window after one of countless parties. Still watching with animal curiosity and a cigarette in hand, as Annabel works hard to stake her claim on a man she desperately wants to own.

Annabel is an unenthralling understudy, Oliver thinks.

Throwing the butt of his cigarette into the bushes, he can't bring himself to stay. He knows where he needs to go, knows what he needs to do; in his mind Annabel is a lithe and graceful performance of extasy, and Felix is all quiet focus and hard, gorgeous muscles shining with sweat from the exertion of it all. But there's no love. It's all performance, a pleasurable performance for them, he's sure, but it's just two beautiful people smashing their bodies together in sloppy ecstasy.

Fuck.

No only is a creep, and a pervert, but now he's a picky, creepy pervert.

But his thoughts stop in the courtyard outside of your dorm. You light is on. Your window is open all the way, and there you are, looking like a dream in your pyjamas, sitting on the windowsill and having a smoke.

"Ollie!" He'll never get sick of how you say his name, how you smile when you see his face. There's a split second where he has to make a decision, has to figure out how to approach you in this moment. At the club you'd all but folded on the spot at his bold approach, he knows he could have had you practically there and then if he'd been inclined, but part of him can't stop thinking about how you'd had Felix on his back, practically begging.

Oliver feels like every time he thinks he's close to figuring you out, he learns something knew about you that makes him rethink it all. He wants to know all of you, your hopes and dreams and the grotesque desires you will never tell the world, desperate to keep testing you and your reactions, and perhaps even your limits if it ever came to that, to figure out how to get underneath your beautiful skin the way Felix had. Part of him feels like you're never going to stop surprising him, one way or the other. You are intrigue and unexpected and he wants to carve a home for himself in your bones.

"Thought you'd still be out," you tell him, back flush with the frame of your window, one leg up on the ledge while the other dangled over the gardens he'd watched you from more times than he'd like to admit.

"'s not the same without you," he admits after a moment, hands in his pockets. Your endeared, bashful smile is predictable, but no less heart-warming to see. He loves the way you react to him.

"Is that why you're here," it sounds teasing, but he can hear a hint of something that almost sounds hopeful. When you look back at him again, there's that same look you've been giving him since he'd held you, kissed you, ghosted you at the club.

"I don't know," he lies softly, "I just started walking."

"Come on then," you grin, stubbing out your cigarette on the windowsill, "you came all this way, why not have a sleepover," and you swing your legs inside, hopping off the ledge. He moves automatically towards the window, but when you hear him moving, you frown over your shoulder, "door, Ollie."

He's never been inside your room at night.

It glows with the same gold light that all these old building with their old lamps glowed, casting all your knickknacks in shadow and sharp relief. Only your bed lamp was on, book open on your bed. Jane Austin's Emma.

"Sorry, I don't mean to impose," Oliver's voice matches the rest of how he wants to appear; small. Sitting on your soft, patterned duvet, he looks not at you, but around at the room you call home, cataloguing everything in this new light, trying not to think about Felix and Annabel fucking, Felix and Annabel laughing, Felix and Annabel joking about how -

He's a scholarship boy who buys his clothes from Oxfam; no-one wants to sit next to fucking Oliver.

"I love you Ollie," you tell him blithely, easily, truthfully, "you never impose."

Annabel grates on his ears and his nerves and his fucking memories. Your smile is like a balm for that the burn that snobby bitch leaves in the back of his mind when he thinks too hard about her.

You move with such ease around the space, not that he should be at all surprised at that. Perhaps it's more that he still feels like a stranger in his own room at times. Planting yourself against your headboard legs crossed and looking so at ease in your summer pyjamas, you ask, tone light, "you don't mind if I read for a bit, I'm not going to be up much longer, but like I said, you're always welcome to stay."

"What are you reading?" Oliver lets himself relax in your presence, lays himself back on the bed, looking up at the sculpted ceiling of the old building. He knows what you're reading, he just likes hearing your voice.

"Emma," he can hear the rustle of the pages, had seen the worn spine and yellowing paper, wonders if it's vintage, wonders how you got it if it is, "Jane Austen for my lit class."

"Finished Anna Karenina?" You make a quiet hum of acknowledgement. More silence and the warmth of company and lamp light, "it's been a while since I've read any Austen."

"Do you want me to read some to you?" Of course there's humour in your tone, but Oliver can hear it for the genuine offer that it is. When he looks at you, he can't help but smile. There's such fond affection in your eyes as you look at him over the top of the book.

"Please," he says it so softly, so sweetly, and it's enough to see you smile before you disappear behind the book again.

"I'm near the end, you won't get the context -"

"Doesn't matter," he sits back up, pulls off his jacket, kicks off his shoes, and settles back beside you.

"Settled?" Your voice is a murmur, barely a whisper, and when he laughs quietly, he knows you can feel the way it rumbles within him.

When you start, your voice is soothing, halfway through a chapter, through a conversation between characters he has no clue about. He's never read Austen but he'd devour her books if you were the one reading them. It feels like an almost perfect moment.

"- Seldom, very seldom," his head is on your shoulder, eyes scanning the page, the words as you read them, "does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken, but-”

"I did come here for you," something about the line makes the hairs prick on the back of his neck, he can't keep quiet; there is want still simmering beneath his skin, and each time his mind drifts to Felix and Annabel, something furious and desperate coils in his gut. You fall silent, book still open and aloft, cheek still resting against his head where he's kept it on your shoulder. When you take a deep breath, he feels it, both of you move in sync, "of course I came here for you."

This time, he doesn't reach out, doesn't touch you more than he is. Every time he's reached out, he's gone against the pattern you've observed of him, he's always made a connection with you where you know he holds back from others. This time, he waits with bated breath.

"If there's nothing more you want from me than moments like this, I'll never say another word about it," he assures, as if trying not to spook or pressure you. But still he waits.

"What do you want, Ollie?" To pick you apart like a vulture, to see the desires you keep so close they're written on your bones.

"You," he says instead, all gentle words and just as gentle breathing, "if you'll have me." Tell me what it is you want. Tell me you can want. Tell me you know you can want things for yourself, want things beyond a reaction to the wants and needs of everyone around you -

Carefully, you reach over to your bedside table, trying not to jostle either of you too much, and keep your place with a bookmark before you put the book down.

But you do make the first move. You take his face in your hands, holding him like he's fragile and perfect and porcelain, shuffling to face him properly. This kiss tastes almost like home, like finally from you both, until his tongue runs along your lips and you part willingly for him, the kiss turning quickly more passionate. Oliver's not even sure how he came to be straddling your lap, nor how he didn't notice you undoing half of his shirt buttons already, but when the kiss breaks he takes your hands in his.

"Of course I want you," tumbles from your lips, sounding heady, needy, and for just a moment, Oliver breath stutters in his chest. But he slows things down again, leans in to kiss you sweetly once more, before he's pulling off your pyjama shirt.

"I want to know what you want," he murmurs against your lips, kissing his way down your jaw slowly as he speaks, "wanna know how to make you feel good."

"Anything you do -" you try, but he looks up after pressing a kiss to your sternum.

"You need to be needed," he says softly, punctuating each statement with a kiss, refusing to break eye contact with you, "and you want to be wanted," his warm lips on your belly, he sees the conflict in your eyes, the desire and embarrassment all at once, "and you're very good at those things, one of the best, I'm sure." Hooking his thumbs into the waistband of your underwear, he pauses, "is this okay?" You nod quickly, enthusiastically, and he gives a warm smile.

"You're like me, sweetheart," he says softly, resting his cheek on your inner thigh for a moment, watching you still. Reaching out, you card your fingers through his hair, fingers trailing down his jaw, and he turns his face to kiss your palm, "I know that if I gave you half a chance, you'll figure out how to be all I could ever want, but tonight I want everyone to hear how you sound when someone's making you feel good-" he doesn't realise he's quoting something he should not have heard from Felix until it's too late, but you cut him off. You didn't even seem to realise.

Then your other hand is in his hair, a new look in your eyes, a newfound determination, a nervous excitement. You grip on his hair tightens.

"Yes?" He gives a cheeky grin, and you finally smile like you mean it.

"I get it," you roll your eyes, but there's nothing malicious about it, especially since the gesture has Oliver pressing his own chuckle against your thigh, "now you have one guess as to how I'd like you to shut up." There's that confidence he'd heard the other day, the confidence that was burned into the back of his mind, the confidence that had been part of the reason he'd spent a good hour in the shower after hearing it.

"Only if you turn out your lamp," he smirks, though inside all he can think about is how bright the whole room is through the gap in the curtains. It doesn't seem to bother you, it never has, and though he was grateful for it when he was on the outside looking in, there's something about being the one potentially being watched that causes him a faint sense of unease.

You call the moonlight more romantic anyways, and Oliver doesn't need to be told twice to go down on you.

When Oliver wakes the next morning, still in your bed, still in you, he almost wants to pinch himself. It's a childish sentiment, but you're in his arms, wrapped up in him and this early morning light through your curtains. Though he tries not to jostle you too much, the arm beneath his head is asleep and getting more uncomfortable by the second. Except the movement just makes you mumble around a breathy moan, hips moving against his.

"Fucking hell," he groans into your ear, and he gets a sleepy, contented chuckle in return, turning your face a little more towards him to give an affectionate bump against his forehead.

"Ollie~"

For just a second, Oliver thinks about living in this moment for the rest of his life.

"You okay?" He murmurs, watching your smile grow. Everything about you looks so pleased, so content, so satisfied.

"Never done that before," you admit, wiggling your hips a little. Oliver swears under his breath again, but judging by the mischievous smile you wear and the twinkle in your eyes, you knew exactly what you were doing. Then, with all the casualness of any other conversation, you manage to catch him off guard again; "anyone who thinks you don't fit in has clearly never fucked you; you fit perfectly -" his teeth sink into your shoulder before he can even properly figure out how he should have reacted.

But instead of finding it strange or off-putting, you let out a breathy laugh, tension easing in your shoulders. Your hips begin to roll against his, consistent, deliberate. He wonders how many people you've let fuck you like this, like they love you, like they care about you. Oh he knows you fuck your friends with love on your tongue, treat them like they're your last meal, like they mean something, but Oliver gets the feeling you don't expect them to return the favour. He's seen the kind of company you keep, he's pretty sure they never do.

How many of them have seen you grateful the way you look now, bathed in the morning light of Summer, laughing and unable to stop talking with such casual fondness in your eyes and on your lips.

When you go down on him in the shower, Oliver thinks he sees hearts in your eyes.

There might just be something very fucking wrong with you, and he's grateful for it every day.

But it doesn't last.

It's on a Summer day that's too hot, less than a week since he'd spent the night with you. Summer days around here seem to always be too hot, but this might be the worst. Felix still doesn't close his blinds, sun painting him golden where he lay on the floor of his room with a cigarette. Oliver had perched himself on the windowsill as you'd taken up residence on Felix's bed, sitting with your back to his headboard, engrossed in what appeared to be notes, or some kind of file.

Oliver has no idea if you've told Felix, or what you would have told him. The dynamic between the three of you appears to have remained otherwise unchanged. Sometimes, however, Oliver catches Felix looking at him out of the corner of his eyes, head tipped, curious like he was about Oliver's past; his expression is always unreadable, but it's started pitting in Oliver's stomach whenever he catches it. Felix always looks away. Felix has been looking at him less lately, that too causes some kind of anxious feeling Oliver would rather not dwell on.

"I don't like Michael Gavey," you announced from your relatively dark corner of Felix's bed. How did you even know Michael Gavey?

"Who?" Felix makes a face in the sunlight, whole expression wrinkling up, as if trying to wrack his brains. But you're looking at Oliver. There's no affection in your eyes, manila folder in your hands.

"He's-" Oliver feels like he's on the back foot again. All the comfort and good will he'd built up around the two of you feels suddenly so far away, "he's in my year." There's no precedent, no road map in his mind for where this could be going.

"He likes you," it's accusatory coming from you. Oliver looks to Felix for a moment, if only to avoid the intensity of your gaze, but he's closed his eyes, staying out of it.

Oliver considers bailing out of the window, but thinks better of it.

"He, erm, kind of was my friend, I suppose."

"Kind of was your friend?" Felix's voice is almost cold, surprising Oliver, but apparently not you. It's clear you're both looking for some kind of elaboration. Why did this feel like an interrogation? What had Michael done? Why was Oliver on trial for it? Felix cracks his eyes open as he takes a long draught of his cigarette.

"Back at the start of the year," Oliver wets his lips, fidgeting, focusing his attention only on the folder you held, desperate to know what was in it.

"Nasty friend you had," you tell him. It's so cold it almost stings.

"Is he the one who got you all riled up the other week?" Felix finally appears to connect the dots, sitting up on his elbows. Thankfully, however, his amusement breaks the tension, and you have to hide your face behind the file as you opened it and began to read. Oliver could feel his heart in his throat, confused, anxious -

"Impressive mathematic record across the board for his first semester, as well all throughout sixth form," you rattled off, eyes narrowed as you look at the paper, "several documented attempts to contact the Head of Math, Phys-Ed, and Life Sciences to," you cleared your throat, shaking your head with surprising disdain, "beg to be exempt from any potentially mandatory Humanities or Social Sciences courses. Unsurprising," you rolled your eyes, "since he bombed his English and French GCSEs, and I think he's the kind of person who prides himself on a perfect GPA."

Every fact you list you do so with such casual cruelty, momentarily folding the file closed and leaning down to make sure you could see Felix.

"He went to high school with us apparently," so casual it actually hurts Oliver a little to hear, "year below us he said," and you wiggle the file in your hands, "looks to be true."

"Still don't know him," Felix shrugs, like he doesn't give any kind of a shit how you got your hands on all of this information. Sitting back, you continued;

"Applied for scholarships - didn't get them; turns out you have to play sports to get a sports scholarships," you click your tongue as you flip through the pages of Michael's file like you were reading the newspaper, "no clubs, no social life, and a notably arrogant prick." You snapped the file closed, levelling a look at Oliver that he'd never seen you make. It was nothing, like a void, demanding a reaction, a response from him. Accusatory yet without any hint of blame, there's something about this look of intense, demanding neutrality that makes him feel actually sick, like you'll be able to know when he lies, know all his secrets if you look at him long enough.

Felix settles back down on the ground, seemingly immune to the tension so thick Oliver felt like he was choking on it. Even if he looks away he can feel your eyes boring into him, like a spider watching a futile fly in it's web.

"What's your problem with him?" Oliver can only bring himself to look out the window, bringing his hand up to scratch at his nose. Maybe if he covers his mouth he won't spill his guts under your gaze. Then, almost so fast it gives Oliver motion sickness, the tension drops.

You sit yourself back, kick your feet out in front of you, and toss the file to the end of the bed. That can't be legal.

"It's sweet that your friends are protective, but he knows you're your own person, right -?" God your light, flippant tone all but rings in his ears. Still, Oliver knows a warning when he hears it.

"He's not my friend; he was, but he's not," Oliver quickly insists, desperate to be on the other side of this deeply uncomfortable conversation. The tension eases in your shoulders when he looks over to you; the right answer. Something about the relief he feels doesn't sit quite right; why had you brought Michael up now of all times? Why had your gaze felt so constricting, even when he and Michael weren't even close; all you would have had to do was ask -

"Said some nasty things about us is all," your voice goes quiet, rueful even, and he follows your gaze to the edge of the bed to where you knew Felix lay, "called Fi a slag."

But there it was; the true audience for your show of force, and the blade that sliced so cleanly through any other attachment people think they have with Felix, all in one.

Its a simple nickname, the most basic nickname anyone could give to a guy named Felix, but no-one else calls him anything but Felix. No-one else calls him Fi the way you do, they wouldn't dare. He wears your nickname like a collar and he doesn't even realise.

"What a cunt," Felix groaned, so infuriatingly uncaring.

In the moments that follow, Oliver almost feels like his head's spinning from the interaction that had just been forced upon him. There's so many questions, new, anxiety-inducing implications for the information you've brought to them both today. Felix doesn't seem troubled by it, but that seems to be the point.

"So fucking hot," he sighs into the afternoon heat, finishing off his cigarette like none of what you'd said even mattered now.

"I know," Oliver finds his voice again, barely. He can't look at you, at the way you're lounging in what he could mistake for triumph. All he can see is Felix, the centre of the fucking universe.

There's something grotesque about you both in this moment, in this room, beautiful and terrible; the perfect picture of privilege and squalor.

"What's that smell?" Pizza, mostly empty drinks, plates and cups unwashed, dirty clothes -

"Uh," if Felix thinks about it, he isn't thinking too hard, clearly, "I don't know." Smoke rings from his pretty lips aren't enough of a distraction from the moment, from the filth of it all now that Oliver's starting to properly look around.

Again he finds himself realising that he has no idea about your background, how you came to find Felix. Sitting with your back to the headboard and eyes closed, even you seem to not care-

"Can't believe you let him live like this," Oliver actually scoffs, hopping from the windowsill, needing to do something with his hands, move, shake off the layer of moral grime that your verbal attack on Michael Gavey had showered him in.

"What?" Felix barely even props himself up, "what are you on about?"

"It's disgusting, Felix."

"It's fine."

"Right, I'm cleaning up -" Oliver moves without thinking, picking up a the waste paper basket and throwing out trash from every surface he can reach. He can't look at Felix, can't look at you, but you're both watching him, "only rich people can afford to be this filthy," he hears himself say. Then, after barking a laugh with no humour in it, he turns his shallow gaze on you, "and what's your excuse? Just picked the habit up after all those years?" For a moment you look at him with genuine confusion, but you give him no real response before Felix tells him to fuck off. But Oliver doesn't stop.

Even as Felix is growing more fed up, insisting he'll clean up later, Oliver's own frustration rises. Felix will never do anything for himself.

Except he doesn't mean to say that part out loud.

That's what gets Felix on his feet, gets him to grab the basket, irritation and resentment on his tongue. Oliver feels like he's touched a live wire, like he's pushed Felix too far, watching him tall, frustrated, glowing with sweat from the afternoon heat. It's the heat Felix complains about as he blows about him room, resentfully stuffing rubbish into the bin, complains about the building and it's age and it's wood fucking panelling that can't be ruined with an air conditioner.

In the moment Oliver chooses to glance to you, he's surprised. You only have eyes for Felix, watching him with an expression Oliver can't begin to fathom, curled up in the corner of his bed. You are waiting. You are holding yourself back. You are desperately trying to let Felix prove Oliver wrong.

"Stressing about the exams?" Oliver tries to pivot, tries to redirect the conversation to something he can claw his way back from, that will keep these relationships from being unsalvageable.

"I'm not stressed about the exams, Ol," Felix sounds like he could snap at any moment, sitting on the edge of his bed, wastebasket held on his knees while his other hand reaches out to you. Still half a foot of space between you, and you keep yourself compact, but the intention is clear; Oliver wonders if he even knows he does that, or if it's just instinct for the two of you these days. Felix, however, is looking at him, that same look he's been giving Oliver since you'd slept with him, "you're driving me fucking -"

Felix seems to realise what he's saying, however, with a sharp inhale as he looked away, moving his free hand from beside you to run through his hair. What is there to say now?

Felix says he's got revising to do, that he'll text later about going to the pub. Oliver desperately wants to believe it, but can hear that it's a lie. Felix can't even fucking look at him.

Oliver finally throws a helpless, hopeful glance to you. This time you are looking at him, but there's apology in your eyes. It's enough. It's the confirmation he'd dreaded, that makes his stomach drop.

"Ollie," even just a few hours ago he'd been in love with the way you said his name. Never like this.

"I'll catch you round," he can't look at either of you as he retreats, cant bare your eyes on him like that, and Felix's turned away.

A million thoughts, desperate ideas, all circle the drain that is quickly becoming his mind as the anxiety and the anguish sets in.

Unsalvageable. Past the point of no return. Irrevocably, awfully different.

With all he'd learned of you both, however, he couldn't just let it go to waste. Oliver had worked for all he had in this life, this prestigious place, among these self-important people. Despite his ongoing attempts to figure you out, he at least knew that if he was good to Felix, he was in good with you.

And Oliver knew exactly who Felix Catton wanted him to be.

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #saltburn x reader #felix catton x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick x reader #head heart hand fic #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x y/n #oliver quick x you #felix catton smut #oliver quick smut #saltburn smut

[spaceshipellie]

we were never just friends

ellie williams x reader

summary: modern au, ellie and reader are in their mid twenties. ellie and reader have been friends for years. their friendship has always been a little bit flirty but nothing has ever happened between them, not like that. well, not yet anyway…

warnings: not much for this part, implied smut (minors dni)

an: there will be more parts coming (potentially 4?) and i have a feeling it’s going to be toxic and messy but have a happy ending (depending on who’s perspective you’re looking at 👀) so sorry but i’m feeling unhinged!

part one (part two, part three, part four)

you had been friends with ellie for years and your friendship had always been somewhat flirty but nothing had ever happened between you and you didn’t really expect it to at this point.

sure, when you were single, seeing ellie flirt, and kiss, and touch other girls made your stomach twist a bit but that didn’t mean anything, right? she was your best friend and you shouldn’t feel jealous. you always excused your feelings away by telling yourself it was just your anxious attachment talking. if something was going to happen between you and ellie it would have happened by now, and did you even want to risk fucking up your friendship?

whatever it was, it didn’t matter. you and kate had been together for 6 months now and things were good, you were happy.

it was 5:38pm on a friday evening and you and kate had a table booked for dinner at 7pm. you were sat on the floor applying your makeup, music blasting through your speaker, hyping yourself up.

you’d felt a bit lousy lately. nothing major just your clothes felt weird, it felt like you could never get your hair right, that kind of thing. you were excited for a night with your girlfriend, thinking it would make you feel better. your phone flashed beside you with a text.

kate 🩵

6:12pm

can’t wait for tonight baby, i’ll pick you up at 6:45 xx

you replied.

me too, see you soon xx

there were clothes thrown all over your bedroom floor from trying to find something to wear. once you’d settled on something you checked your phone. 6:43pm. kate would be here any minute. you sat on your sofa waiting, getting lost in thought when your apartment intercom buzzed. you buzzed her in and opened the door when you heard a knock.

“you look gorgeous,” kate said, wrapping a hand around your waist and pulling you in for a quick kiss.

“thanks, baby. so do you,” you smiled at her. she grabbed your hand and led you to the car. you mostly drove in a comfortable silence to the restaurant as it wasn’t far.

you were now sat at your table, opposite kate, sipping on your wine and enjoying the food. you talked about how your days had been and laughed about random inside jokes you had.

“so,” kate started, “how would you feel about going on holiday together? i was thinking we could go to california or something.”

a wave of excitement came over you.

“oh my god, i’d love to.”

“great, we can have a look and work it out in the next couple of days.” kate beamed at you and put her hand on your knee under the table. you leaned over and kissed her.

after you’d finished dinner you went back to kate’s place. you both kicked your shoes off as soon as you got inside and with giddiness from the holiday proposal and the wine you had drunk, you flung your arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a slow, giggly kiss. her hands went to your waist as she held you close, walking you both slowly towards the bedroom. you were pushed up against the door for a second whilst she blindly searched for the handle.

“i love you,” you breathed out.

she smiled against your lips, “i love you too.”

the door opened and you both fell into the room, clumsily making your way towards the bed.

˚ · • . ° .

you were lying on your back in kate’s bed, feeling sweet and sleepy. you were both naked and she was fast sleep, her arm dangling across your stomach. you slowly slipped out, being careful not to wake her as you threw on a large t-shirt and some underwear and went to get a glass of water from the kitchen. the clock said it was nearly 1am and you saw you had a message.

ellie 👽

11:27pm

there’s a band playing at hazy tomorrow night, you free?

hazy was kind of like yours and ellie’s go to bar. it had the coolest decor, it was mostly queer people who went, and they always had good music on. you replied.

12:49am

yeah definitely

you took another sip of water before going back to bed, kate still fast asleep.

you both didn’t wake up until about 10am, groaning and stretching as you did so.

“morning babe,” you heard a soft grumble from behind you. you turned to see her sleepy face looking at you.

“morning,” you smiled, “i’ll make us some coffee.”

you got up and made your way into the kitchen, leaning against the counter whilst the coffee machine did it’s thing.

ellie 👽

9:34am

cool, they’re meant to start playing at 8

what you doing today?

you

10:10am

i’m free this afternoon if you wanna hang out earlier?

you took the coffees back to bed, handing one to kate who had put some clothes on. she thanked you, taking a sip.

ellie 👽

10:14am

i can come over at 3?

you

10:15am

yeah sounds good, see you later

you saw her like your message before you put your phone down, taking a sip of coffee.

“what time are you working again?” you asked kate.

“12, so need to get ready soon,” she drew small, lazy circles on your bare thigh as you sat cross legged next to her. “you doing much today?”

“i’m gonna go home and tidy up a bit, then ellie’s coming over. there’s a band playing at hazy tonight so we thought we’d go.”

“oh nice, sounds like a good day,” she said, smiling at you.

you finished your coffees and you scrolled through tiktok as you watched kate get ready for work, before eventually getting ready to leave yourself.

“text me when you get home, love you,” she said, giving you a quick kiss before getting into her car.

“i will, love you.” you waved bye and put your headphones in to walk home. it was about a 20 minute walk but you liked walking, it was a good opportunity to listen to music and daydream.

once home, you quickly messaged kate that you were home safe and then sighed as you dropped your bag onto your bed, taking in the mess you’d made last night.

“fuck sake,” you mumbled, starting to lazily fold everything up and put it away. throwing a few things in a haphazard pile to go in the laundry. after that was done you took a shower and put on some fresh clothes. you didn’t even realise the time when your apartment intercom buzzed. you heard ellie’s voice say “hey, it’s me” before you buzzed her in. you opened the door before she could even knock.

“hey.”

“hey, i brought some food if you’re hungry,” she said, dumping the shopping bag on your kitchen counter. it looked like it had your favourite crisps/chips, some salsa, some strawberries, bottles of coke and a couple other snacks.

“oh thanks,” you smiled. she was wearing a t-shirt underneath a button up shirt with the sleeves pushed up, exposing her tattooed forearms.

you got out a couple of plates and started emptying the snacks onto them. ellie leaned on the counter, watching you until you handed one to her.

“thanks.”

you both sat on the sofa, your legs bumping into each other and you subconsciously moved over slightly so you weren’t touching. it felt like you shouldn’t really be sat that close, even though it wasn’t a big deal. out the corner of your eye you couldn’t tell if you could see a small smirk on her face or not.

you put on a random true crime documentary you’d been watching whilst you ate, even though you were barely listening to it as you talked.

“–it was fucking hilarious,” ellie laughed hard, her head going back, as she recounted when you had massively embarrassed yourself in a karaoke incident last week with dina when the three of you had gone out.

“god it was so embarrassing,” you held your head in your hands, laughing but your cheeks had heated up with the flashbacks.

“that was probably one of the drunkest i’ve ever seen you, and i’ve seen that a lot,” she grinned at you, getting a kick out of how flustered you were.

“fuck you, stop,” you giggled, playfully shoving her. her hand instinctively flying up to yours, grazing it before you took it back. you both just looked at each other for a moment, still smiling at the memory.

“you wanna carry on playing that video game?” she asked. you said yes and took the plates to the kitchen whilst she set it up on your tv. video games were one of the things you and ellie had first bonded over when you met and you’d always played them together ever since. you both had intense game rage so pretty much no matter what game you were playing, whether it was a horror game or a fucking gardening simulator, you’d both always be yelling out curses and generally just being loud. you obviously played a lot of multiplayer games, but sometimes you’d play singer player games and just watched each other.

you also both accidentally became very touchy. as in you’d be sat close enough together that your thighs touched. this was just so that you could both see the screen clearly. obviously. you’d be able to shove each other with your shoulders constantly, or if there was a jumpscare you’d scream and your hands would rush to grab each other. you didn’t mind. it had always been this way between you.

you played the game for a couple hours, becoming entirely engrossed in it. it was called it takes two and essentially, it was about two parents getting a divorce and after they tell their daughter, she plays with two dolls who look like her parents and pretend they’re not splitting up. the parents then turn into these tiny dolls and they have to put their differences aside in order to work together to get back to normal. it was hilarious and frustrating.

“what the fuck are you doing!?” ellie yelled.

“i’m trying to jump onto this thing.”

“no no you need to pull that lever first.”

“i fucking did!”

“well i can’t fucking move so you need to push it the other way.”

“you’re the one who told me to do it this way!”

“no i didn’t!”

“ellie… yes you did!”

she snickered at you. “whatever, just move it again.”

“my god, so bossy,” you muttered under your breath, jokingly.

“what was that?” she joked, nudging your arm, pretending she didn’t hear you.

“i said,” you looked at her, “you’re being bossy.”

your eyes were playful and the corners of her mouth fought against a wide smile. it took her brain a second to register a response. she looked back at the screen, and shook her head, not being able to come up with anything clever.

“just fucking do it.”

you smirked to yourself for winning that mini dispute, but did what she said and pushed the lever the other way so her character could move. you played for a while longer before you paused and checked the time.

“i need to get ready.”

“okay, we should probably order some food, what do you feel like?”

“pizza?” you said, heading towards your bedroom, ellie absentmindedly following you as you talked.

“cool, i’ll order some.”

“thanks, i’ll transfer you half of whatever it is.”

“no you don’t need to,” she said, leaning against your bedroom door frame as you raided through a draw.

“you never let me pay,” you huffed.

she just laughed, watching you faff around your room. eventually, you picked out a different top, not bothering to change your jeans. ellie was still leaning on the door frame, but was looking at her phone.

you ripped your top off, leaving you in just a bra and you applied some more deodorant. you didn’t really think much about changing in front of ellie, you’d known each other long enough that you’d both done it before. you probably wouldn’t if you were getting completely undressed, but it was just your top. besides, she probably wasn’t even paying attention. you didn’t notice her sneaking a quick glance at the line going down the middle of your back. you put the new top on and grabbed your makeup bag.

“how long does it say the pizzas gonna be?” you asked. ellie moved to sit on the end of your bed, leaning back until she was supporting her weight on her forearm, her knees dangling off the edge.

“about 10 minutes.”

“cool.”

she watched as you put make up on. silently admiring how much care you took with each step. you were sat on the floor with your back to her but caught her eye in the mirror. it made you a bit nervous for some reason.

“what are you doing?” you laughed.

“watching how the fuck you do all of that,” she mused.

“it’s not that hard, i pretty much just do the same look every single time anyway,” you said, patting blush on your cheeks with your fingertips.

“it’s still fun to watch,” ellie said, pulling out her phone again. when the pizza arrived, she answered the door for them. you ate, finished spritzing yourself with perfume and pulled your converses on.

“let’s go.”

˚ · • . ° .

you arrived at hazy about 10 minutes before the band were due to start playing. you could see them in the corner, finalising their set up. it was busy inside and ellie put her hand on your lower back to guide you through the crowd towards the bar.

“hey guys,” nadine, the girl behind the bar greeted you both. as you and ellie came here a lot, they all knew you. “what can i get for you?”

ellie looked at you and gestured for you to order first.

“i’ll have a corona, please,” you said and ellie said she’d have the same, whilst reaching into her back pocket to get her card out.

“no, els, i’m paying,” you grabbed her hand tightly to stop her and quickly tapped your card on the machine. nadine chuckled to herself and handed you both your drinks.

ellie laughed and rolled her eyes at you as you weaved your way through the crowd to a free table near where the band were just starting to introduce their first song.

you both sipped your drinks and watched them perform, subtly swaying a little to the beat in your chair.

“they’re really good,” ellie leant over to say in your ear, you could hardly hear each other otherwise.

“yeah, really good.”

after a couple more songs had been played you got up to go the bathroom. on your way back you got some more beers.

“thanks babe,” ellie said as you placed one in front of her. she didn’t do it a lot, but she’d always occasionally called you babe. you were sure it was just a flippant nickname but you couldn’t help but enjoy it every time.

˚ · • . ° .

it was well into the night now and you were both drunk and dancing, along with most of the people in here. ellie wasn’t much of a dancer but she had no problem holding your waist as you swayed to the music and holding your hand when you laughed and span around, accidentally falling into her. your free hand landing on her shoulder to steady yourself and she laughed at your clumsiness.

it took you a minute to realise how close you had gotten, bodies practically against each other, but you made an attempt to compose yourself.

“you okay?” she asked. her hand felt hot on your waist.

“yeah,” you leaned in closer to her ear so she could hear you, “i’m just gonna go to the bathroom.”

she let you go as you stumbled through the dancing bodies. after peeing, you washed your hands and leant on the sink, staring at yourself in the mirror. you were having a fun night with ellie as always but you were also aware that you were getting to that flirty stage of being drunk so you silently ordered yourself to pull yourself together before exiting the bathroom.

you could see a girl talking to ellie. she’s pretty, you thought. you slowly made your way over there, not wanting to interrupt but also not wanting to be suddenly left alone. as you got closer you could see the girl’s face drop and she left.

“who was that?” you asked, taking your drink back from ellie.

“just a girl asking for my number.”

“oh yeah? did you give it to her?”

“no,” she said, and you could’ve sworn you saw a hint of embarrassment flash through her eyes.

“why not?”

“i didn’t want it.”

“but she’s cute?”

“yeah, well. i’m here with you so,” she smiled at you, licking her lips and tilting her head slightly.

you tried and failed to stop yourself from smiling so wide. “you’re such a loser, ellie.”

˚ · • . ° .

you stumbled home with ellie after you’d offered for her to crash on your sofa. you hauled a spare duvet out from a cupboard and laid it on the sofa for her. she flopped down, lying on her back, mumbling out a thanks. you were going to take a glass of water to bed with you so you poured her one as well, spilling it slightly as you put it down on the floor next to her.

“oh fuck,” you giggled, “never mind.”

“thanks,” she said, looking up at you. you smiled before shuffling off to bed.

you heard her call out, “night babe.”

you yelled a “night” back and flung yourself onto your bed, making feeble attempts to remove your makeup before stripping off and slipping under the covers.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

an: so as i said before, this will probably have multiple parts, i hope you enjoyed part one! also, i’m from the uk so if any info about travelling around the us is wrong, my bad, and hazy is a made up bar so if that’s a real place, that’s purely a coincidence and it’s not based on it. anyway, let me know what you think of this so far, i’m really excited for it💜💜

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