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vendoramachine · 4 months

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random headcanons

velvet & veneer

pretty self explanatory. i needed someplace to dump all these stupid little thoughts. also, as the younger sibling of an older sister, these are all just me self projecting our relationship <3

- vel is mildly dyslexic and it’s been a sensitive topic for her entire life (yet she still makes fun of veneer for not being able to do math)

- veneer had both of his ears pierced, but his left ear eventually closed up cus he doesn’t wear his earring on that side (ifykyk)

- velvet’s anger issues has made her throw things at veneer on multiple occasions

“do you remember that time i accidentally hit you and you threw that moisturizer container at my head?”

“…..”

- both had a very intense phase where they were obsessed with pokémon, specifically, team rocket

- jesse and james were both of their gay awakenings

- velvet always used to practice painting nails and doing makeup on veneer, that they never really grew out of it (she still does it for him <3)

- they never apologized to each other properly after getting upset with each other

“…you hungry?”

“…yeah. i’ll go with you to check the fridge.”

- strangely enough, vel asks to sleep in her brother’s bed if they don’t have anything going on the next day

- vel is one of them VIOLENT ASS SLEEPERS who kicks everything within radius, and her feet are always cold as fuck

“vel… vel, stop kicking me… v-velvet, YOUR FEET ARE COLD!”

- but ven is a blanket hog so they hate sleeping in the same bed but still do it cause it’s oddly comforting for them both

“veneer, it’s cold, bro… give me the- STOP TAKING THE BLANKET!”

- for some reason, they’re always coming at each other’s taste

- “i really don’t know what you see in ritz.”

“yeah? well, at least i didn’t fall for a random fan from the crowd.”

“BITCH-“

- their favorite places as kids were costco and ikea (don’t ask i just have a feeling)

- vel needed glasses as a kid, but she always hated how they looked on her, so she never wore them. ever. her eyesight is still lowkey shit.

- they both took violin and cello lessons as kids, but they thought it was mad boring and left (they don’t remember a single thing about it)

- velvet will fuck up a raw ass steak (so raw that you might as well give her an entire fucking cow), eating it with her bare hands like a wild animal

- as kids, they always talked about bailing each other out if one got arrested (but they both got arrested so that’s out the window 😻)

- “ugh, orange is so not my color.”

“girl, fuck you mean? you look better than all the bitches here.”

- ritz and orchid always go together to visit their criminal lovers in prison

- vel hates the feeling of gel, but does it for the aesthetic (veneer hates it too)

- veneer got his drivers license after vel, but she gets the WORSTTT road rage, so he doesn’t trust her and drives them everywhere

- vel has literally almost stabbed her brother with her sharp crown thingy

- veneer constantly asks his sis what he should wear because he’s too scared of being insulted

- both of their retinas have been burned by all the flashing cameras

- surprisingly, most of vel’s high school homecoming dates were men. nobody except veneer even knew she was a girl kisser until she turned sixteen

- they have matching robes. for sure.

- veneer is a shopping addict ( velvet carries his bags every time cus she thinks his complaining is annoying )

“ugh, my arms-“

“shut up. give me your bags.”

- vel had a giant ass rottweiler when they were in middle school that always scared the shit out of veneer, so that’s why he was so fucking scared of rhonda (velvet’s dog was really sweet tho 😢)

- ven coughs so hard from inhaling too much of vel’s perfume

- vel has a crippling fear of heights and veneer is the same with small spaces

- veneer is terrified of horror movies, and vel tells him to stop being a pussy (one jumpscare and you’ll see her clinging onto her brother)

- vel laughs her ass off every time her brother is mad because she can’t take his twink ass seriously

- these two turn into monsters when it comes to nintendo games (specifically mario kart)

- vel had the nintendo switch and ven had the nintendo lite

- they bought two so that they could have separate animal crossing islands, but ended up living on the same one anyways

- veneer loves the little clink that his shoes make

- never let either of them near cinnamon rolls. ever. (their asses will demolish entire buildings for that stuff)

i’ll probably add more to these later on, so watch out! i’m working on the requests, so watch out for those too!

#trolls band together #trolls 3 #velvet and veneer #velvet trolls #veneer trolls #fanfic #fanfiction #headcanons #funny shit #dumb headcanons #random ass post #lesbian #lgbtq #gay

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evenmorefatallyobsessed · 1 year

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Prof. Gelé AU Concept

To be clear this isn't the only Au/ comic I'll put the model in but it is the one that comes to mind for me most often.

Bleiss is born into the previous generation to RWBY's main characters like Jaune was in my Prof. Arc AU, also like him she became Glynda's partner.

There wasn't really much to say about Bleiss, not really. She Nicholas Schnee's second born daughter. She had talent, beauty and a fierce intellect. But she was also a rebellious teen with a chip on her shoulder towards Atlas.

After that one snake in the grass tried to coil around her what was his name again Assques? Anyways she broke his nose, stole his date and the next day sick of this Atlas high Society shit she left to be a Huntress in Vale, to live her own life how she pleased, free from the SDC.

And Bleiss didn't just manage she fucking flourished! Made a cute friend and admittedly unrequited love named Summer, the best drinking buddy ever in a Branwen called Qrow and finally a bitch she could count to cover her back in Glynda...

Yeah admittedly the two didn't get along too well at first... Okay more like their first two years but whatever. Anyways Bleiss fucking loved her life, shit even turned out she had a knack for this teaching shit.

though only for Hunter Academies, combat school parents were always complaining bout their brats picking up some of her awesome habits.

She loved her students, some more the others specifically of the cute girl variety. Gawd did she love putting that brat Coco in her place. She'd have to do it again soon, the girl had been a bit too cocky recently with her fellow students after all.

But for now there were mors important things to deal with. Some fuckers had attacked Amber, she might not have fucked the girl or anything but she was a former student and nobody fucked with the brats she trained, graduated or not.

So she was suprised when the Malachites called her. The pair of girls she trained both on fighting and in bed having been excited over beating Ray's fucking brat who tried to wreck her favorite club. Thank god she gave them a few lessons on fighting from time to time.

Anyways apparently Junior got some kid some fake transcripts. A part of her wanted to grab the suspicious brat and throw him in a cell to interrogate. Too coincidental that someone attacks Amber, steals half her fucking soul and now someone else is trying to sneak into where they just so happen to have her.

So she makes it a point to be in front of the Bullhead the faker was coming in through. She was gonna decide what to do with him once she saw him. After all her drinking buddy Qrow got in with fake transcripts after all so she had to at least pretend to give him the benefit of the doubt...

She felt a bit bad for her neice Weiss, yeah she wasn't exactly her favorite kid of her sis but still. She always did like sweet, little innocent Whitley betterbafter all.

Then her daughter started showing of her dad's side and the guilt for not paying her too much mind died...

Seriously she left the brat there in a freaking crater sniffling and... And... And who the fuck was that?

Tall, blonde and strangely getting her engines roaring was a blonde boy with deep blue eyes, and a freaking knight aesthetics and a sword and... Wait? That was him!?

Okay so the brat apparently had a semblance that influenced people, had to be that? She wasn't into men. So why did her eyes keep tracking him, right right semblance.

Well didn't matter she had her man targeted and went in for the kill. Grabbing the blonde away after old Ozzy's dumb speech. Really it was less kidnapping and more telling the blonde to follow her.

A lie about boys sleeping separately from girls and he was all too willing to follow. Really he was sorta naive for a spy/ assassin. She had him right where she wanted, in her room ready to get straight to the Seductio-Interrogation! She meant Interrogation.

Thankfully the hunky chump still believed he was in the clear so she just had to act all treachery and respectable and junk while she slowly used her ace.

Alchohol, loose lips came hand in hand with drinks after all. And here he was all trusting, with that dopey sweet smile and those lovely blue eyes and that fuckable fac- DAMMIT!

She didn't think he'd be heavy drinker like her, brat could hold his liquor... Sexy. Finally though she managed to ignore the blazing inferno that was her libido long enough to get down to buisness.

And by that she meant she broke a bottle and he reached to clean it for her drunk ass... And cut himself.

He, he didn't have aura... And then everything came out now that she was interrogating the boy about his aura outta worry more then suspicion. After all he couldn't be a spy without aura. That'd be retarded and suicidal, once she told him how she knew he was a fake he buckled and caved in...

And she listened, listened to the blonde talk about his dream, and how he was denied the chance to even attempt it. How he ran away from home, sold just about everything he owned to get his hands on the fake papers so he could risk it all on the chance to attempt to live up to his families name.

So he could be a hero instead of just his families biggest dissapointment... Their black sheep. And she made up her mind then.

Glyn would've blamed the booze, but Bleiss knew perfectly well what she wanted to do.

So she did something she really did...

Something Glynda feared her doing, she gave the blonde a private lesson... And no not the sexy kind though she was awfully fucking tempted.

But no Bleiss Gelé unlocked the blonde's stud levels of aura and then went full out drill Sargent on the sexy blonde. Most would've broke, hell many combat school graduates did under her excessive, cruel and unusual tutoledge.

It was why she was strictly teaching in Dust classes so she couldn't train the poor soft Hunters-in-training. But Jaune didn't break, oh he whined, cried and yelled, but the blonde as it turned out was made of tougher stuff then his folks gave him credit for.

And then the night was over... Dawn broke and the poor blonde bastard hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. But that was fine, she had a plan, she'd go to Ozzy, get his permission to make the kid her sexy assistant like she was gonna do for sweet lil Whitley when he came down for Vytal and then she'd... And he was gone!

Next thing she knows she's freaking out over the kid being launched into the fucking Emerald Forest! Oh Gawd! She wore him the fuck out and not even in the fun way!

She'd never been more pissed at her partner then she was at that moment as Glynda restrained her. She was freaking the fuck out as she saw the poor kid launched through the air... Then he wasn't cuz that one famous brat chucked her spear his way.

Then she directed herself his way... Did something happen between them? How? Darling must've at best had a minute or two to interact with anyone on the way here?

After several more minutes of annoyingly futile resistance she finally calmed down and accepted things as is and decided to watch Jaune try his luck during Initiation and vouch for him if he failed.

-O-O-O-

Glynda felt very... Conflicted over her partner Bleiss. On one hand she'd known her through her entire time in Beacon. She understood Bleiss even if at times if was irritating to do so.

It was ultimately why she felt secured to a point around her. Glynda knew what to expect from her... Usually. Right now as she fretted over a random boy who she couldn't have known for more then a few hours was leaving her utterly stumped.

She observed him, and frankly Jaune Arc while having high aura levels was hardly what she could call competent. The boy was tripping all over himself and getting lost in thought randomly.

He was proving to be a detriment to his partner. Then they entered that cave and he... Did he fall asleep!?

Actually looking closer at him the blonde he looked utterly exhausted and his aura levels were rather low especially given how quickly they were restoring... If she didn't know better she'd have thought the Arc had been fighting for his life, the. Night... Prior.

No...

Turning she looked to her worried partner and spoke the most dire question without thinking positive even her impulsive, sadistic partner wouldn't be so reckless.

"Bleiss what did you do?" Bleiss avoided her gaze and begun to mumble, that was never a good sign.

"What did you say?"

"I... just... Trained him a bit last night." She wasn't the only on to look horrified, Port, Oobeleck and even Ozpin looked pale at the implications. After what Bleiss considered legitimate training was illegal across the kingdoms.

"How is he alive..." She agreed with Port before turning back to the screen concerned about the boy.

Her previous concerns were utterly dashed. Anyone who could survive Gelé's training more the deserved a spot in Beacon.

-0-0-0-

Exhausted, irritated and sore were Jaune's feelings... Aura, thank merciful Oum for aura! He didn't know how he survived all these years without it. But he was sure he would've died last night if not for the soulful energy.

Miss Gelé was terrifying, at first he'd been flustered when such a pretty older woman tricked him into her room, then confused and then worried when his transcripts came to life.

But all that fell wayside when out of nowhere she stood up grabbed him, dragged him outside and told him she'd be teaching him a few of the basics a Huntsman needed to know.

He'd been about to talk back, not willing to take a hand out even if from a teache- Then she knocked him flat on his ass, walked up to him and said some kinda cool sounding words before she unlocked his aura.

Oh she explained what she did to him. But did so as she was stabbing at him with a freaking sword, darting around the place like a bullet. She even summoned monsters! Just constant pain, agony on the physical front and lectures on Grimm, Aura, Dust and a ton of other stuff he didn't know about.

All while she continued to beat his ass...

Once his aura shattered she'd beat him with fist, kicks and really painful grabs until it restored and they were back to him trying not to be impaled! Wash and rinse and repeat to sunrise! She looked happy! Excited even!

But hey, at least he had super powers now... Aura was awesome. Though right now he'd trade it in a heart beat for a coffee of even better a pillow...

But those thoughts could wait! He had bigger worries. He didn't go through all that just to g

fail Initiation! The Grimm weren't even as scary as that after all!

At some point he must've gone in a cave because currently he was running from a freaking Giant Scorpion!... Still not as scary as Ms. Gelé but this thing clearly wanted to kill him.

Aura into his feet like he saw miss Gelé doing he managed to outpace it! Pyrrha said something bout not wasting his aura but frankly he still had a lot...

Like much of the rest of the day it all happened like a blur. Ruby and Weiss eating dirt from falling from the sky and giant bird getting added to the mix and something about chess pieces.

All he knew is that they needed to get outta there fast to pass and best of all not fight the two giant monsters. That was a plan he could get behind!

And he would've, should've and was sure as hell going to. Until the ginger girl beside him called out her partner's name. He turned and saw that Pyrrha and the brunette he could assume was Ren hadn't made it before the bridge collapsed.

Really it should've been a easy choice, they were strangers, he hadn't even known Pyrrha a hour. He owed them nothing and the finish line was right there! Yep, it was a easy choice, one he didn't even need to think about... Dammit.

Pumping aura in his legs he leaped out towards them. After all what kinda person wouldn't rush in to help others? Not him that's for sure.

Exhausted, tired and only mentally there by a fraction his mind worked overtime. Instincts were in the front seat. And so he listened to them.

He knew there was no way he could tear through the things armor... At least, not with what he knew how to do. But there was something?

pumping aura into his arm he tanked a sting with his shield, the attack denting his heirloom's mechanism shifting sheath but somehow managed to feat of strength to not have his poise broken from the blow.

The Grimm's carapace was thick, to thick for a sword like his... But maybe if he stole another one of miss Bleiss's moves?

She'd been so nimble and quick during the fight, pushing aura into her legs as she explain it while beating him.

It was where he got the idea of doing it, though he had the feeling he wasn't nearly as good at it as she was. But despite how petite she was her blows were heavy... Because she put aura on the blade, heck she even swung it once and sent the energy flying.

It was that which he inspired to copy in that moment.

Pushing all the energy he could into his sword, desperation and determination were powerful motivators.

and from them he managed to once more repeat the technique Bleiss had preformed before him like her aura reinforcement.

All his aura surging out in a arc of violent energy, that cleaved into and through one of the Deathstalker's claws.

His aura shattered, he was out and now the thing was glaring at him, oh he was scared but he had three people with him. All of which seemed more worried about his auraless state then even he was. It reassured him, didn't seem like they'd run for it.

Which meant he had a chance. After all, this Grimm wasn't nearly as fast a attacker as Ms. Gelé, and Jaune had learned last night just how much being light on his feet could help.

He smiled, a crooked, sure toothy grin it's way, finding himself terrified but also excited to kill his first monster.

-0-0-0-

While they were sure Team RWBY would be the focus of their students for the staff the group their eyes were on were JNPR. And for once it wasn't because of miss Nikos.

No the reason was the blonde dancing around and avoiding the Death Stalker's strikes.

Who knew it was targeting him but didn't turn tell to run despite having no aura but instead kept it's attention so the others could wear it down.

"A Fucking Mazing..." Glynda felt a chill run up her spine as she turned to look at her partner. And what she saw terrified her.

Bleiss was unashamedly looking hungrily at the Arc.

"One fuckinh night with aura and he manages this..." Her lip bled she was biting it so hard. Wait, did she say a night with aura!? Didn't that imply he didn't have it before.

Surely not, he used aura reinforcement on his legs several times and even swung a aura Arc. Those were advance techniques, techniques her partner knew... Technique that look utterly and completely unrefined and raw being performed by the Arc as if he'd never used...

She had to do a double take, but, but he was so nimble on his feet?

"Heheh, Hahaha! He can't beat that thing in strength but if he can dodge me he can sure as hell dodge it!" That... Was true.

Actually he didn't look like he was dodging it so much as... Dancing around it's blows.

What was this, well at the least she knew one thing as Bleiss licked her lips.

She would have to keep a eye on the boy for his own sake from her partner.

#prof. bleiss au #bleiss schnee #glynda goodwitch #jaune arc #au concept

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dadsbongos · 7 months

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can you make a Itadori x reader where reader is gyaru please? :]

yuuji with a gyaru honey headcanons :) hehe

tried to keep as gender neutral as possible!! but reader is kinda feminine-coded, reader is implied to be like early 20s or laaate teens (18-19), didn’t place this anywhere in canon - just that at some point you two meet when he goes to tokyo

Knew of the subculture, obviously, but didn’t really know anybody who partook in it - especially since he grew up in a small town in the country where nobody was so bold (unlike in Tokyo, where you meet! omg)

Actually almost made you cry (dramatic) when you two first met because he referred to it as a trend

Verbatim, his goofy ass said “Woah, I didn’t know people still followed that trend!” to your face

He likes how proud and confident you are though!! You don’t care if other people think it looks good because you think it looks good

The only reason you even cared what Yuuji had to say was because he implied your fashion was just another fad

He also likes how passionate you are, often pointing out your idols and collecting old magazines from the gyaru boom when you were little just to keep that early 2000s-ness thriving

“How do you have no idea who this is, Yuu?! That’s Na-chan!” and he thinks you’re so cute when you’re all flustered, giving him lil history lessons, “Helloooo? Suzuki, Nana! She was in Popteen!”

Whenever he has the extra cash, Yuuji also finds it fun to buy you accessories or clothes that fit your specific aesthetic of the gyaru umbrella

Even though he totally turns into a little mess when you end up loving what he gets and are grateful (which was the end goal btw lol, he just can’t handle it)

People who don’t know you two kinda assume that you made Yuuji dye his hair pink and just garner negative opinions about you corrupting some nice young man

Not that you care, and Yuuji knows that, but he still gets upset when people have poor impressions of his hottie partner

And you never tell Yuuji this, but you also assumed that he dabbled in a bit of hair bleaching when you both met - so you ask one day if he can help you with yours and he looks at you all “ :o ?”

“Me?” 🤨👈

As if bro doesn’t have bright pink hair

He does try to help if you decide to wear colored contacts though!! And by help I mean… he wants to be emotional support

“You’re stronger than me, babe, I would’ve puked getting my finger that close to my eye.”

Hey he tries!!!!

He also likes sitting with you to do your makeup, he finds the process very hypnotizing

Like his own personal grwm video 🙂 wow

He can just blabber on and on and on about whatever while you hum and put your face on

Sometimes for no reason at all, he’ll go from staring at you to staring at the mirror and then back at you

Like if you asked he would actually have no answer as to WHY this mf does that, he just… does

Starts carrying special metal straws around for you so you don’t have to worry about ruining your lipstick if you get a drink in public that doesn’t have a straw (all WASHED and CLEAN and kept SECURELY, don’t worry babe✋ HE’S got you)

And just in case this dude’s green flags couldn’t be more apparent - he’s the type where if you wear thigh high, or generally long, socks/leg warmers then he makes sure they’re in place all day

He gets on a knee and fixes them up so you don’t have to sit or bend down <3

#yuuji x reader #yuji x reader #yuuji itadori x reader #yuji itadori x reader #itadori x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk drabbles #anon chatter :)#omg i havent used that tag in so long...#oops

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reverieblondie · 5 months

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Partners

Pairing: Kaine Parker x gnSpider-person!Reader

Warnings: Kaine has a potty mouth and threatens people but other than that just fluff!

Summary: You get called into Miguel's office for a new mission, you wonder who you will get partnered with, though it shouldn't be a surprise by now...

A/N: okay I know this is the fic nobody is asking for but the heart wants what the heart wants. and I want grumpy Kaine Parker to hold my hand while he threatens to beat up people. No, I'm not going to apologize. This fic was inspired by @eughi wonderful art of Kaine! if you want to know more about this character please check out their account they are amazing!

The picture that started my obsession here

he's just so pretty!

Word count: 2,797

In the dim light of Miguel's office, you stand listening patiently as he debriefs you on your next mission. This is all nothing new to you, some dimension, a new anomaly, you have had this debriefing many times now. Though the places and targets change you know what to expect by now there is only one thing that keeps you listening intently to the drull words of the spider society's brave leader.

Once he's done drilling into you what dimension and what anomaly you are supposed to capture, it's the moment you had been waiting patiently to hear, who your partner is for this mission. This was the thing you looked forward to hearing, Partner assignments. Would it be Jess? Webslinger? Spider-cat? You loved that little ball of fuzz. As you're cycling through the possibilities of who you could be teamed up with, it's then that your answer walks into the room.

Kaine Parker, in his very iconic suit of red and black, it’s littered with stitches. You didn’t know if they were from getting patched up after fights or just for aesthetic purposes. But either way, they did look pretty cool. Scarlet lenses of his mask keep on you as his tall figure approaches, you know he's studying you and also sizing you up. -Honestly, it’s no surprise if he was, he sizes up everyone without needing to say a word.

Being paired with Kaine again shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. Not being exactly social and his fighting methods leaning towards more…intense, it didn’t exactly make him easy to work with. Not surprising though, The dude is the definition of intimidating with his 6’4 height and broad muscular figure, plus his brash nature made it hard for people to adjust to. Aside from Peter B and Ben, you're the only other person he would go on missions with. Opting to go alone when paired with anyone else, and if they protest they are promptly threatened. Edgy, but you kinda enjoyed that about him.

Standing next to you now you wait patiently as Miguel debriefs him, it’s a much more summarized version than what you had to experience. Kaine is not the type to listen to a lengthy explanation, he’s more get the facts than get out kinda guy. Hell he didn’t even go to the mandatory monthly meetings.

As you stand there your senses are going haywire, looking up to where they are thrumming from you see those lenses staring down at you. Kaine seemed to have a staring problem and your spider senses always went crazy when he was. Maybe it was because of his sheer size, or it was possibly from seeing how easily he had zero qualms ripping into enemies when he deemed it necessary. Whatever it was, no other spider made your senses crazy like he did.

Once Miguel is done with his debriefing, Kaine is already opening a portal to the dimension ready to get this over with, ruthless and efficient. What more could you want?

“I want them captured in one piece, Kaine,” Miguel calls after us as we approach the portal.

You give a dutiful nod in understanding, Kaine however…

“Keep telling me what to do and I will break your fucking face…”

Luckily for you, he said it as he went into the portal, the last thing you need to be doing is trying to pull those two off each other….again….

----

“Yeah, then Kaine called like a million spiders to cover up the anomaly and proceeded to beat them to a pulp. He really can’t stand any Jackel variant.”

Munching into your burger you're still talking about your mission you had with Kaine a few days ago. Hobie and Gwen seem bewildered by your story, the young spiders having had little to no interaction with Kaine always seemed to look forward to the stories of your missions with him. Though you argue Peter B has the better ones involving Kaine. As you talk Peter nods in agreement, seeming to signal that he understands all the little quirks that make up Kaine.

A few more minutes into your conversation Jess is strolling up to the table to join you all for lunch. Using only the context of the story she quickly deciphers who you're talking about.

“Kaine huh, another intense mission with the scarlet spider?”

“Yeah, tasked to catch a rogue Jackal. You would think Miguel would learn not to let Kaine on Jackal missions considering how messed up they are when they arrive here. But he gets the job done and he's not a bad guy to have on a mission. Plus sometimes it’s funny when he cusses at the anomalies.”

They give you an odd look and you shrug going back to eating your food. As you're eating you're suddenly being interrupted mid bite by Gwen.

“Okay I am sorry but I am dying to know. What does Kaine look like?”

The completely odd question takes you back for a moment, “You know…red lenses…black and red-”

“No, no, no,” she quickly interjects “I mean his face.”

Without much thought, you point towards Peter, and this causes Peter to scoff, “Okay just because he's one of my clones doesn’t mean we are exactly alike…”

Taking a second to think you nod, “You know you're right. Imagine a way cooler-looking Peter with long auburn hair and face scares.”

The young spider's face lights up at the information and Peter shoots you a displeased look, he already gets teased enough from how Kaine and Ben are total beefcakes compared to him, but Kaine has height and cool looks beating him now. Then you suddenly remember something.

“Oh sometimes he forgets to shave so he will have a scruff going on, honestly looks pretty nice on him and fits the vibe.”

This comment seems to make Jess snicker and smile towards you. “Well just wait till he finds that out…he won't shave anymore…”

Rolling your eyes you shoot her a glare, “What's that supposed to mean?”

Peters chiming in now. “You know what she means…”

“Okay, let me just set the shit straight. Pardon the language kids. Kaine doesn't like me like that, he threatened my life the other day when I got in his way.”

“Then why does he only partner with you?”

“With that logic, he might like you, Peter?”

“Woah, woah, first gross, second me and Ben are like his brothers. You're the only one not in the family he will be around.”

“Because he has to.” you counter

“Because he wants to.” Jess persisted

Going to move to your next argument about how you two are nothing more than partners; it being because maybe he just likes your fighting style, your watch is suddenly blaring calling you in for a mission. Gwen and Hobie laugh as Jess and Peter give you a smug look as you get up to leave the table. Shielding your face from Gwen and Hobie you mouth a “Fuck you” to them. Sure Kaine's vulgar language may be getting to you but that doesn’t mean you're going to be cussing at kids…not yet at least…

As you walk to Miguel's office for your mission assignment, you find yourself walking rather briskly. Kaine might be your partner again…

The thought makes your senses haywire and you walk to the office faster…

—-

Kaine ended up not being your partner for that disaster of a mission. Laying in the infirmary your whole body still aching despite the painkillers you were given. Moving carefully you're very aware of the stitches patching up your side that ache in every which way you move. Your first mission with a different partner besides Kaine in forever and it failed ending with you both in a hospital bed.

Lucky for you though you got to be in your own private room not having to hear the complaining of your partner's screw-ups that resulted in this. Miguel is sure to give them a long lecture when they get well…as for you you're probably going to be HQ bound till you heal up all the way. You just had to be one of the spiders without fast healing…just your luck…

Laying there you're trying to just close your eyes to try and forget about the terrible mission and your current pain but a loud bang outside makes you jump and look towards the door to the hallway. Loud yelling that sounds…familiar…Then it's that tingling of your senses only one spider can get from you.

“Where are they?!”

Crash, Bang, skreech!

“Wait, they are resting you can’t go in there!”

“What are you going to do? stop me?”

Before you can even register what’s going on Kaine is pushing through your door locking it so nobody can come in. Turning to you he looks pissed! You open your mouth to say something but he quickly silences you,

“Shut up!”

Next to you now; the conversion abruptly ended before it could begin, he’s looking over you examining your face and your bandages, bruises and cuts litter your body and the bandages are wrapped all around you but you're okay, you're alive. Suddenly Kaine claw like hands are gently gliding over your skin tracing the brushes and cuts as gently as possible. The touch sends shivers through your body you're hoping he doesn't notice.

Still surveying you he takes his mask off abruptly, his scared face is scrunched in an angry expression, and deep brown eyes are staring at you studying you. You can’t help but feel more intimidated with him out of his mask than when he’s sizing you up in it. Those intense brown eyes are magnetic, his handsome features on full display. Some people might think the scars take away from his handsome face but you think it only makes him look better. Way cooler-looking than Peter…

“Who was with you?” he says in a suddenly calm voice compared to how he came in.

“What?”

“Dammit! Can you not hear? Who were you partnered with and what dimension was it?!” - and the yelling is back…

“Spider guy from 2782, dimension 38, vulture anomaly…” you say quickly, still confused why he was asking…

His hand comes up to rub the top of your head gently, a very personal and friendly gesture for him. Staring intently at you, there is almost a softness in his stony eyes, it's…different from any way you have ever seen before. Your breath seems to suddenly evaporate from you. This is a completely different…loving side of him you have never experienced from him…it doesn't seem real…are you in a coma?

“I’m going to kick his ass, then kill that anomaly…” -no this is real…

Once he's done speaking he’s stopping his rubbing on top of your head and now he gently glides his hand down to your cheek.

“Wait-”

Before you can protest he’s already at the door unlocking it and leaving the infirmary. Gone without even looking back at you…typical Kaine…

____

The rumors of Kaine's warpath quickly spread all over HQ and got back to you. Spider Guy got spared due to the doctors intervening after much convincing. Though all that rage ended up getting released on the vulture anomaly you and guy failed to get.

Vulture barely made it out with his life and was in critical condition once he was turned in. Of course, this caused Miguel and Kaine to get into it. Those two seem to always find a way to fight despite them having similarities…maybe one day they could be friends? Though with how little they interact with people socially, their hanging out would properly be them just staring at each other in a room plotting how they would kick one another's ass.

It has been a few days since the mission you were released from the infirmary but still not cleared to go back to mission work. So this means your days have devolved to you walking around HQ. Why you didn’t just take this time to sit at home in your dimension and relax you didn’t fully know. Though a part of you truly knew what you were doing, deep down you were looking for Kaine.

Of course after everything that happened and after what he did. He didn’t even come to talk to you. Or check in on how you were healing, hell everyone else did but your usual partner goes on an almost murder spree but can't bother to say hi. Though that's not his style, he's the ‘only I can kick your ass and if anyone else does it they are a dead’ kind of friend. Plus when he saw you he seemed…upset, could it be hard for him to see you inquired? For a moment you ponder the idea before quickly shaking it off.

Walking some more around HQ you find that you're in a more isolated area, a rarity for the society. Usually, everyone was so packed together so this is a welcome change of pace. Enjoying the quiet you look to the windows to observe the city but your eyes land on something else. Kaine without his mask hair tied in that half-up knot that compliments his face shape so perfectly. His brown eyes are so focused on the city, he looks lost and thought, you almost feel bad for going over to break his concentration but you haven’t seen him and you want to talk to him.

Making your approach you plop down next to him, your eyes are on him but he keeps his forward but you know he knows it's you next to him so you skip the greetings.

“So, I heard you went a bit overboard. Not that I'm surprised. But breaking the anomalies' kneecaps and leaving the dimension in a panic does seem like an escalation from your normal methods…” Leaning over you try to meet his eyes but he keeps them straight ahead before he sighs,

“I would have burned that dimension down if I needed to” Your mouth slightly drops and your eyes widen, well that's ...different… your heart racing now you feel that familiar tingling…how this guy rattles and intrigues you.

Sliding his eyes over he looks at you before he turns his head fulling, eyes tracing where your inquiries once were but have now been healing. In his eyes you think you see relief though with Kaine’s stoic expression you can never be too sure…

“Why did you do all that?” -the question seems almost stupid in hindsight.

Kiane's eyes meet your face for a moment staring silently into your eyes before looking back out into the futuristic city. “Your my partner, and I don’t need you getting hurt because of some other idiots mistakes”

The answer makes you laugh a bit, always so judgemental and coarse about others. Then the words you always think of asking but never do slip your lips next, “Why do you like to go on missions with me?”

Kaine takes a minute to think before he shrugs “I guess, things are just a bit better with you around….”

A smirk appears on your lips and as he looks back at you and huffs with an eye roll. “Shut up…”

All you can do is slightly laugh before nudging him “Well, I like being around you too, best partner someone could get paired with.”

You know that even if his face isn't changing in expression you know your words mean something to him. At least that's what you're hoping, Kaine is great and you're fond of him despite how others feel about his rough nature. He's a good guy even if he doesn't think so, but you are willing to take the time to convince him of that.

A couple of minutes pass before you move to get up and give him some alone time, something you are sure he values. As you stand you feel something that stops you in your tracks. Looking down you see Kaine's large hand on yours holding you gently, moving your gaze to his face you see that he’s avoiding eye contact looking away from you with a furrowed brow and a slight pout on his lips.

Sitting back down you hold his hand gently back and you watch as the blush slowly dusts his cheeks. You have to hold back the urge to call him cute. Holding your hand is a huge step of affection for him if you tease him now he will never be vulnerable again to you.

Time passes and you keep your hand in his as you gently slide your thumb across his large hand. The silence is comfortable and as you turn to look at him you swear you see the slight tinge of a smile….what a softie….

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caseylicious · 2 years

Note

Hello! I love your rottmnt work!! I just finished binge reading them!

Is it alright if I request a rise!Donnie x Shy! Mad Scientist reader?

Like April introduces her “normal” friend and Donnie is shook (and in love) when reader starts talking complex science out of nowhere.

Thank you so much!!

"In The Name of SCIENCE!"

Summary: April introduces her "normal" friend to Donnie. How will he deal with his feelings finding out that the reader is a "Mad Scientist?"

Character: Donnie

Reader: GENDER NEUTRAL (not specified in request.)

Relationship: CRUSH (Not specified in request)

Warnings: THE MOST WHOLESOME PIECE IVE EVER WRITTEN IS ABOUT TO BE SHOWN. TAKE CAUTION...

Words: 2158

A/N: Sir/Miss, I am in LOVE with your request!! It sounds so cute already, and I am so excited to just type this. Thank you for reading my work! You're so sweet.

As always! Please, Enjoy 💐

[ If you have any constructive criticism or corrections for any of my English do let me know! :) ]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

"April, are you really sure...?" You tilted your hooded head to her, with a hushed voice. Your (maybe only) friend, April; placed her attention onto you. She smiled, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. "Yeah! Y/N, don't worry! My boy Donnie is one of the smartest people I know! You'll get along just fine." You nodded hesitantly, not sure of what's to come as you both began to walk out of your school.

A few weeks ago, you became friends with the one addresses herself as, "April O' Neil." You as an individual tend to fall side to more of the "Weird" part of society. Not seeing any interest in cheerleading or Volleyball. You didn't feel right in those "categories." Which made you sort of a "creep" in your high school. And you genuinely didn't blame them. You couldn't imagine yourself wearing tight dresses which expose skin; it was ridiculous! What if you were in a situation in which you had to run away due to an outside threat? What would that unnecessary tight dress do for you? Other than exposing more skin to be harmed, it was an idiot move.

Which was why you chose to be practical. You attempted to share your ideas with others... but they just didn't see your ideas normal. They doubted that you could even reach such goals. They were just... impossible. You proved yourself and them wrong; and you so bad wanted to rant to people about your inventions. But nobody wanted to listen, you were just too weird.

It didn't really affect your mood that much. It's not like you thought badly of yourself. Heavens no, you knew your self worth. You could do things others just couldn't. You enjoyed most of your time alone in school, but sometimes... it just gets lonely.

You felt lonely, and that ate you up immensely. That was until you met April. She asked you about the app you created on your phone, which surprised you. Somebody asking about your creation? Your own baby? You answered shyly and she was amazed. You remembered the situation perfectly due to your "photographic" memory.

"Wow Y/N! That's actually helpful to society!" She leaned over from her chair to look into your phone. It was customized to your aesthetic. She was exactly 5 inches away from you. She was wearing an eyeshadow which contained ingredients which wouldn't harm the planet nor animals, and you could tell she was chewing on a mint for half of the class.

You had to think for a quick second on what to say, You were a genius. Obviously, but you knew your shy aspects would get in the way of a basic fast: "Thank you." You came to a conclusion just nodding your head.

Which... now leads you here. During those weeks of becoming "strangers, acquaintance, to inner circle." She asked you to meet some of her other friends, and it freaked you out a lot. April was one of the only people that seemed to tolerate your hyper fixations and rants about your lover, science. You weren't afraid of her proclaimed "friends." No. You were afraid of embarrassing her in front of her them. You didn't want to be the reason why her reputation decreases because of your weirdness. However, you did want to make her happy by participating, and you did.

You were dressed in a "normal-looking" attire and brushed your hair to the point where it didn't poof up like the many times of experimentation you did. Your hands tinkering with each other, you looked confusedly at the sewer manhole you and April stood in front of. "..Errm, April you understand this is a manhole, yes?" She chuckled, "Y/N! I'm not that dumb y'know? Pfft... This is where my friends live."

You were confused to her logic as her carefree face changed to a firm look. A look of maturity and seriousness, she faced you. "Y/N, you have to promise me whatever you see down there. That you won't freak out nor tell people about them." What was she talking about? You wouldn't freak out- you've done things that freaked out people to a degree where they questioned if you were mentally ill. "April.. you know I've done weird. I don't really see how your friends will freak me out." She looked at you, almost as if she was looking for your soul. Your will to live. "And... you're sure?"

You take a deep breathe, nodding with confirmation. "Yes, I am sure." Her face relaxed as you both ascended down the manhole.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

💜 Donnie

Raph has awoken all his brothers in the lair, due to the text April sent a couple days ago. She was going to introduce them to one of her own friends. Leo himself was excited to show off his skills to another person other than his brothers and April, Raph was excited to meet another person which was friends with April, and Mikey in general was excited to meet you... it was Donnie who was a bit doubtful.

Donnie was an unique individual, it didn't make him less of a person. It was just he saw the world differently. He saw logic while others may see emotions and feelings. He was aware of this and was still learning on how to react to things with a bit more empathy... but he really couldn't due to his low empathy. He decided that he was going to be a respectful person as April gave you a tour around the lair.

"Okay boys, you all know the drill right?" His older brother held some empty pizza boxes, cleaning up. Mikey nodded as he placed away his crayons. "Yep! Oooo!! I just can't wait to meet April's new friend!" A chuckle escaped Leo as he organized each of his Jupiter Jim comics. He glanced towards the turtle which only sat on the bean bag and scrolled on his phone. "Donnie, you plan on cleaning the lair?"

He smirked, "Oh, what you don't see Leo... I came up with a mechanic which would clean the lab for me! So while you three do simple activities like that, I chose to be practical." Leo groaned rolling his eyes, "You didn't plan on making a bot which could do that job for us?" Leo stood up, stretching down. "It could've be.. real practical for like- y'know. us?" Donnie frowned to Leo's poor memory.

"Last time I created an invention that did simple chores for you, each of you decided to tinker with it." He wasn't wrong, though.. he did make the bot be biased and favor him out of the other brothers. And be almost a body guard for him... but we don't talk about that.

Leo frowned, "well. You created the thing to be all biased over you!" Donnie gasped. "Scoff! Well if it weren't for you touching Shelldon, he would've killed me. Replacing me as your "new brother."

"Yeahh, but we saved your life didn't we?" Leo grinned mischievously, leaning over on one of the handle of his blades. "Oh yeahh! We did!" Donnie grumbled to himself, "Yes... you all did. Even so- still your fault." Before the conversation could continue, they all heard Raph shout- "THEY'RE ALMOST HERE!" And they all, except Donnie scrambled to get everybody tidied up.

- - - - - - - - - -

April's voice echoed down the hole, "We're almost there Y/N!" You nodded as you stepped down each step. Your gloves kept you from slipping, though you wondered how many times April had to step down the manhole to not fall down. You tried imagining what people April chose to hang out with. They probably were cool...

You were snapped out of your imagination when your foot reached a flat surface. You got off the ladder with April and you could see an orange-yellowish light. You hesitated for a second. This was it, the moment that every "lonely" person had to face. Meeting with people that you don't even know about for the first time ever. April was a couple steps ahead of you. "C'mon Y/N! They're right here!" You quickly nodded, running over. And that's when you came face-to-face with something you've never seen before.

Were they... turtles? Mutant? Your shoulders were tense as you stared at each one of them. A common response for.. most people. "Y/N, this is Raph..." She directed to the large red turtle. He waved towards you with a toothy grin. "Nice meeting ya!" You nodded shyly. "This is Leo..." The blue bandana-turtle brought out his hand towards you. "Nice meeting one of Aprils' friends." You nodded again shyly, shaking his hand. "This is-" Mikey jumped towards you, making you step back a couple steps. "Michelangelo! But call me Mikey!" His grin was so bright that you had to blink a couple times to see again. "And finally, this is..."

Your eyes climbed up to meet with the purple turtles'. "Greetings, I am Donatello. But please refer me as Donnie." He stood in a way that somehow made you relax. There was something about him you just didn't know, but relate too. Quickly getting yourself out of your thoughts, you introduced yourself. "H- hello... I am Y/N L/N... It's nice meeting all of you." Your voice squeaked a little and you covered your mouth embarrassed. Donnie assumed that you didn't understand science to your "regular" looking attire. Genuinely, he assumes everybody around him doesn't understand science and engineering the way he does.

After a few awkward stares, April chose to give you a tour. You found out that Leo's room was decorated in merchandise of Jupiter Jim, a show which almost each of the brothers cherished. You also noticed that his room seemed to be one of the "best" ones you've seen in a sewer. But let's be honest, have you ever gone into a sewer with a actual rooms? You've done a decent job at staying "normal" around them all. You didn't suddenly say a comment on their interests nor did you suddenly say random facts. Finally, you came upon Donnie's lab. Before you and April could even enter, The taller purple turtle had to set some ground rules.

"Do not attempt to touch anything. Do not try stealing any of my equipment, because I will know- and do not-" April sighed, "Yeah, yeah D. We get it!" You felt April nudge you a bit. She seemed to "know" that you'd get along with him immediately. He was the first familiar name he heard when you were walking with her.

The doors opened, as smoke exited the room. A dramatic entrance; exquisite. April walked in with Donnie. You walked in last hearing a loud slam of the lab doors. You breathed in some of the smoke, causing you to cough all of it out. When you cleaned out your lungs you were surprised to see inventions that you didn't know someone could make. You made an audible gasp walking towards the metal. Donnie stepped forwards quickly. "Hey- what did I just say-"

You probably spoke too soon, because your "norm" bubble all of sudden popped. You just knew so much about the material, how could you not share?

"Is this titanium?! Where did you get it? Oh my goodness- did you create it? No- no.. You couldn't have you'd need-"

"ilmenite, leucoxene, and rutile!" He said the words you were about to say. The turtle you noted as distant seemed to know what you were talking about. "P- precisely! You do know grabbing yourself some uranium could help create some radioactive equipment, right?" He nodded to your claim, because you were precisely correct! April smirked, watching you both infodump one another on the science and engineering behind his inventions.

"The titanium in your shell can get damaged in high-temperature situations you know that right? Exactly above 400 degrees Celsius... and- what tools did you use to sand it? I've tried a normal sanding board, but that didn't work!" "Ah- well, I used a technique of a sanding board and some Aluminum Oxide. They both help remove the rough surface." You grinned widely, explaining to him on your projects. How you were going to attempt to create a network of wires that would help society in a way, that you didn't know yet. But would figure out along the way. He ranted to you about his experiments and successful and failed projects. You bounced ideas on each other. You both didn't pay attention to April suddenly leaving the room to chat with the others.

"Well.. you could've placed a firewall system on Shelldon." You twirled your hair finally feeling like yourself.

He sighed, "You're right... I should've placed one even while he was charging."

He never expected someone like yourself to know all of this information. Your knowledge just made his heart just act a bit funny. Funny enough, just for him to fall in love with you.

#morilicious #rottmnt #rottmnt 2018 #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #rise donnie

632 notes · View notes

thornybubbles · 7 months

Text

You Give Love a Bad Name (Yandere Diego x Backstabber Reader)

NOTE: I didn’t write anything for the entire month of October and I feel awful about that. Imagine me, a lover of horrifying JoJo fanfics, not writing anything for the Halloween season! Unforgivable! So I’m gonna try to make up for it all this month starting with this story. Please accept this as part of my apology!

NOTE 2: I don’t know why I keep pairing poor Diego up with criminal Readers. It's an aesthetic, I guess.

Warnings: YANDERE, possessiveness, very dark themes and implications, degradation, violence towards Reader, threats, and other forms of unpleasantness. Also Reader is kind of an asshole. I head canon that yandere Diego is a lot wilder and meaner than regular Diego (not that regular Diego was nice). No smut!

Diego hated himself for letting you into his heart. He wanted to hate you, but he couldn’t muster the proper level of emotion. He loved you. He loved you dearly, and that was the problem. You had somehow wormed your way into his heart. You were so sweet to him the day the two of you met. He’d been injured and you showed up out of nowhere wanting to help him. He shooed you away, his pride and distrust of other people preventing him from accepting help from anyone. You insisted and he bellowed at you, demanding that you leave him alone and mind your own business. You started bawling then, not because of him yelling at you, but because, in your own words,

“I can’t bear to leave you like this! You’re bleeding so badly! Please, please let me help you!”

He sneered at you telling you to just shut up and aid him then. Anything to stop your infernal squalling. How your demeanor changed. You were so happy that you’d been allowed to help him, smiling sweetly as you bandaged his arm. You looked so cute that he couldn't stand to look at your face. You didn’t ask him questions about how he got injured or pry into his personal affairs. Instead you talked about how you’d been a long time fan of his and had followed as many of his achievements as you could. You told him that this was the first time you’d been able to actually watch a race that he was in and you were so excited about that.

Diego was used to having fans that adored and worshiped him, but you were something else. No other fan could point out maneuvers that he used to achieve his victories, but you did. You didn’t just adore him for his achievements alone, you actually studied his methods. You told him that you became a fan because you wanted to watch him succeed. Never in his life had Diego felt so… supported. Others had been lured to him for his looks, charm, and achievements alone, but you seemed drawn by merely adoration of him as a jockey and your joy at watching him win.

It flustered him and he hated that. Diego Brando was the one that flustered, not the one who got flustered.

How dare you make him feel like this…

Thereafter you became an absolute pest. He saw you nearly everywhere he went and he didn’t know how to feel about it. He jokingly accused you of stalking him and the shocked and ashamed look on your face had him laughing. Finally he had made you blush, and it was the loveliest sight he’d ever laid eyes on. You had him, fully and completely, and he found himself looking forward to seeing your excited face in the crowds. Seeing you like that, waving at him from among the rabble, it never failed to have him smiling. You were like a rare jewel shining through piles of trash. Your very presence made him feel uplifted. Even when he wasn’t doing well in the race, you were there to offer your support.

“So what if you lost your place!” you said. “You’re Diego Brando! You’ll do what you have to to regain your spot in the race and gain five more places in the process! Nobody can keep you down!”

Then you’d hold your little fist in the air and cheer and another crack would form in the shield that Diego had put around his heart.

Some time after that, you confessed to Diego. You told him that you’d had a crush on him since you first saw his picture in the newspaper, but meeting him in real life and seeing his feats for yourself, actually getting to speak to him in person… it turned your crush into full blown love. Many women confessed their attraction to him before, but it was always limited to his looks or fame. Other than his mother, no one had ever said they loved him before. It shattered the shield around his heart completely and he went weak in the knees.

He confessed his own love for you that day, unable to hold back his feelings anymore. He’d given up on ever feeling loved again after his mother’s death. He’d given up on love in general. Love was a weakness after all. It made people do foolish things. Made them sloppy and stupid. Love could destroy a person’s life. How he wished that he’d remembered all that later… when you betrayed him.

It happened not long after he obtained Scary Monsters. He was so eager to go and show it to you. He longed to see your shocked face become an expression of amazement and adoration. He wanted to stand in place and watch as you marveled at his new power. He wanted to see the glimmer of tenderness in your eyes as you stroked his face and whispered words of encouragement.

“Look at you, Diego! My God! You’re unstoppable now!” he imagined you saying.

But you weren’t there. He couldn’t find you at the checkpoint. He searched the inns, saloons, shops of the town, but you were nowhere to be seen. He started asking the other racers if they’d seen you. No one seemed to know who he was talking about. Dread filled his heart to bursting. Where were you? Had something happened? Were you ill? Injured? Lost? Had someone done something to you? He’d bloody murder anyone that laid a hand on you!! Desperate, he started asking the townsfolk in hopes that one of them knew something. Fortunately, most of them seemed to know who you were, but the looks they exchanged with each other when Diego mentioned your name told him that something was wrong. Very wrong.

The townsfolk had a very interesting story to tell about you. Con-artist. That was the word they used to describe you. They told him about all the other men that you had warmed up to, how they all found themselves in the same predicament he was in. They told him about how you would seek out wealthy, famous, desirable men and make them fall for you. Then, when they least expected it, you would rob them and leave them with empty wallets and broken hearts. Diego could have massacred the entire town right then and there. He didn’t want to believe that they were talking about you. Not his sweet, innocent darling! Not the angel that was always there for him, uplifting him, encouraging him, loving him… He wouldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe it. He ran back to his hotel room and searched through his belongings. It wasn’t true! You wouldn’t do that to him! Not to him!

Half of his money was missing along with the necklace that he’d bought for you. You’d been kind enough, at least, not to rob him completely blind. How had he not noticed that his money bag was lighter than usual? When did you even have time to do this? You must’ve snuck into his room when he was practically tearing the town apart looking for you. You must have been lying in wait, watching for the moment that he left his room so that you could slip in and help yourself to what didn’t belong to you. Diego searched his bag again, hoping beyond hope that he’d just miscounted his cash and misplaced the necklace… and he found the cute little message you’d left for him,

“It’s been fun, Diego, but I’m afraid it’s time for me to head out. No hard feelings, handsome! Don’t be too mad at me!”

It felt like the room had fallen away, leaving him in a black void and the only thing he could see was the letter he clutched in his trembling hands. His mind was racing with all manner of dark and murderous thoughts. It had all been a lie, a cruel, hateful lie! He never meant anything to you at all. He was just another mark for you, wasn’t he? Another notch in your damned belt! He should have known. He should have been able to see through your act. He’d imagined you to be some kind of jewel amongst filth, but he forgot that ALL humans were filth! Well you certainly reminded him of that, didn’t you? Diego’s fury-fogged gaze dropped to the bottom of the letter where you had the utter nerve to leave a mocking lipstick print on the paper.

You sealed your fate with that little stunt.

Diego held the note close to his face and breathed deep of your scent. He hadn’t fully grasped all of Scary Monsters abilities just yet, but he did know how to utilize its heightened sense of smell. He could smell the oil in your lipstick and the hint of your breath still lingering on the paper. You’d had tea instead of coffee that morning. He also caught a whiff of your perfume. It was the one that he’d bought you, imported from France and very expensive. At the time he thought you were worth it…

…Your scent was fresh. Very fresh. You were still in town. You hadn’t left yet.

Diego slammed the door to his hotel room open, startling a young woman with a cart full of food trays. He sniffed at the air frantically, looking for all the world like a wild dog on the hunt. The woman started to speak to him, to ask him if he needed anything, but when he turned his yellow-eyed gaze on her, the words caught in her throat and she could only let out a tiny peep of surprise. His expression was that of a feral beast and he was panting ragged breaths as if he’d been running for miles. He sniffed the air a few more times before rushing past her. The woman pressed herself against the wall, barely avoiding being knocked down as he rushed down the corridor. She stared after him in confusion. She recognized him of course. Most of the hotel girls knew of the famed Diego Brando, but she was fairly certain that his eyes weren’t yellow.

Was it even possible for humans to have yellow eyes?

-----------------

You sighed as you climbed into the stagecoach that was to take you out of town. You felt a little guilty, you had to admit. Diego seemed so enamored with you, much more so than you expected of him. Watching his haughty, bitter demeanor melt into something soft and loving kinda had your heart pounding. It was a shame you just didn’t feel the same way. You would never forget that story he told you about his mother. You really wished that he’d never opened up that much to you. Poor Diego. He would be devastated at your betrayal, no doubt. Knowing that would eat you up inside, but you were sure that the fat stack hidden in your bag would ease your heartache.

“Hello, dearie.”

You were not expecting to ever hear that voice again. You looked up to see Diego staring at you with a blank expression from the seat across from you. When did he get into the stagecoach with you? Was he already in there waiting for you?

“Diego!” you said with a start.

“I got your note,” he said, holding up the note you’d left him and giving you a joyless smile. “I couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye in person.”

Your eyes darted around the inside of the coach, looking for anything you could use to bend the situation into your favor. Diego kept talking.

“I was so worried about you, sweetheart.” he said with a mock pout. “I couldn’t find you anywhere. I was afraid something awful happened to you.”

Your eyes fell on the bandages on the sides of his face. Was he injured? It didn’t matter. It was something you could use. Show him sympathy. Make him forget his anger and remember how good your hands felt against the skin of his face. That’s usually all it took for most.

“Diego, what are those bandages for? Did you hurt yourself?” you said, giving him a pitiful look of concern.

You reached up to him, hands coming up to touch the bandages. Your fingers had barely grazed the gauze of each bandage before Diego uttered an inhuman growl,

“Keep your filthy, thieving little rat claws to yourself!”

You pulled your hands back as if he’d tried to bite you, and held your arms to your chest to protect them.

“Diego, please, you don’t understand…” you began but he sharply cut you off.

“Oh, yes. Let’s hear it! Tell me all about what I don’t understand! What sob story will it be this time? Will it be the one about your dying aunt who was like a mother to you? Will it be about how you want to pay off your father’s gambling debts? Or will it be the one about you needing money to send your younger siblings to school? Or maybe it will be the one about buying shoes for orphans? Does that cover everything or will I be getting a new story this time?”

You gave him a pleading look and tried to think of something, anything to tell him. You didn’t know what to do or say. Most of your victims were too busy wallowing in heartbreak to bother confronting you. Diego was the only one that went so far as to track you down. It was unexpected, but it wasn’t a scenario that you were completely unprepared for.

“Floyd, Fleetwood, The Allman Brothers, Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young…” he listed off the names of some of your previous victims. “Do those names ring any bells? Including me, was that the full list of your targets or am I missing some?”

He was, actually. He left out Morrison and Dylan, but you weren’t about to correct him. While he fumed you reached into the hidden pocket on the inside of your shawl and grasped the grip of your pistol.

“How did it feel to know that you got one over on the great Diego Brando?” he asked. “Did it give you a little thrill? Did it give you your adrenaline fix? Did you have a laugh or two at my expense?”

“Diego, please. I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t needed the money!” You pleaded in a last ditch effort to sway him. “I’ve fallen on hard times!”

“Hard times?” Diego scoffed. “I doubt that you’ve experienced any hardship more serious than deciding what to have for breakfast in the morning!”

His eyes darted to your throat for some reason. He thought he saw movement there but he wasn’t sure. He tried to focus his blurred vision on the glimmer of something around your throat. Ah. You were wearing the necklace he bought for you. He smiled bitterly at the sight of it.

“The necklace looks lovely on you, dear. I was trying to keep it a secret from you until I was ready to give it to you, but it seems you’ve gone and spoiled the surprise. It goes well with that new outfit though. Blue was always your color. Tell me, did you buy that with my money?”

You drew your pistol and aimed it at his chest.

Diego’s instincts kicked in at the sudden movement. He saw something shiny in your hand, but couldn’t quite make out what it was. Though that newly awakened, primitive side of his brain was screaming at him that what you held in your hand was a weapon and he was in danger.

You didn’t want to do it, but he’d cornered you, and cornered rats have a tendency to bite. You barely had time to cock the gun before Diego slapped it out of your hand with a speed you hadn’t expected from a human being. The gun flew out of the window of the coach and you heard it clatter against the ground a moment later. It’s a wonder it hadn’t gone off. The state of your gun was the least of your worries as Diego swung backwards with the same hand that had knocked the gun out of your hand and backhanded you across the face. You let out a yelp of pain and shock and shrank in on yourself, curling up in the seat and shielding your head with your arms. You could feel your hair dangling down in your face. Diego had slapped you so hard that your hair came undone. You could feel blood trickling out of one of your nostrils and you really hoped he hadn’t broken your nose. Your face stung like hell.

You felt yourself being grabbed by the shoulders. You shrieked as Diego yanked you up to face him, pulling you out of your protective ball.

“D-Diego! Please! Don’t h-hurt me!” you begged.

“Hurt you?” Diego said, voice suddenly sounding deep and distorted. “Hurt you? After what you did to me, I should KILL YOU!!”

His voice came out in a roar that shook the coach and vibrated throughout your entire body.

You were crying now, sobbing and pleading for him not to kill you. Diego just stared at you with wild eyes. The color of his eyes seemed off and his pupils looked odd. You don’t know if what you were seeing was the result of the abject terror that Diego had instilled in you or if there was something strange going on with his face. The corners of his mouth seemed to shift under the bandages and stretch up the side of his face far further than they should go. His lips, and patches of skin around his face and neck seemed oddly scaly. And his teeth… Why did they look so long and sharp?

“W-what’s happening to y-you?” you asked.

He didn’t answer your question. He was too busy panting like an animal and being hypnotized by the trickle of blood coming from your nose.

“Does it make you feel accomplished, knowing you humiliated me like that? I can practically hear everyone laughing at me behind my back. How they’ll look at me when I pass by and whisper to each other about how I fell prey to a con-artist and then they’ll snicker like schoolchildren. I won’t allow it. Do you hear? I won’t allow you to add me to your lists of conquests! You won’t place me on your trophy shelf! What’s worse is that you have the nerve to pull a gun on me! Were you thinking of adding murder to your list of crimes? I’ll kill you first! Love, you have no idea how hard it is for me to keep myself from biting your pretty head off…”

You sobbed as you listened to his mad rant and watched at his face and body continued to contort into something monstrous.

“Please don’t kill me…” you sobbed.

Your plea seemed to snap him out of whatever daze he was in and his eyes lifted from the trail of blood from your nose to your tear-filled eyes.

“I can’t…” he whispered. “I should. Believe me I’m angry enough… but I don’t think I could ever live with myself if I ripped you apart like I want to. And prison’s too good for you. You wouldn’t stay there long anyway. You’d just flutter your lashes at the nearest gullible guard and you’d be back on the streets in no time without ever going to trial. Isn’t that right?”

“Diego… you’re hurting me…” you said in a pained gasp. He was gripping your shoulders so hard.

“Oh poor thing.” He mocked. “Well you hurt me first, you lying, conniving little harlot and, believe me, you’ll pay for it! I’m not letting you go… I still want you. Damn my own foolish heart, I still want you. So you’re going to stick by me just like you used to. But you’re not getting out of your punishment. As much as I love you, I won’t let you get away with what you did to me. I want you at every checkpoint singing my praises louder than ever before. I want you throwing yourself at my feet even if it means kneeling in filth. I want you to do it where everyone can see you, so you can see what it feels like to have everyone laughing at you. You’ll be at my beck and call, my personal servant. If I can’t have you as my lover, then you’ll be my dog! You’ll grovel before me, beg for my attention, and my kindness, and I’ll give you none of it until I think you’ve earned it! That’s right, there will be no more perfumes, jewelry, or fancy clothes for you. From now on you’ll have to earn that, too. I’ll show you exactly what it means to fall on hard times!”

This couldn’t be happening! Not to you! You were supposed to be on your way to the next town and the next poor sap to con. You weren’t supposed to be here now in the clutches of a madman who seemed to be turning into a monster.

“Don’t think for a minute that you can run either.” Diego continued. “Try to escape and I’ll find you. I’ll hunt you down just like I did today, only when I find you again I will kill you! I’ll kill you and anyone you try to get help from.”

“Please, Diego,” you sobbed. “I can pay the money back! I can--!”

“This isn’t about the damned money!” he thundered.

You cringed at his tone, afraid that he’d hit you again.

“I can make it up to you! Please, Diego! I’ll do anything!” you said, hoping beyond hope that he would listen to reason.

Diego grinned revealing rows of jagged, animalistic teeth. You just stared at them, unable to believe what you were seeing.

“Good. Glad to hear it.” he sneered. “You can start by giving me a little kiss.”

You stared warily at his mouth and wondered if he could actually bite off your head, like he’d suggested before.

“Well?” Diego growled, impatient with your hesitation.

You leaned forward and planted your trembling lips against his. The skin there felt rough and leathery. You didn’t have time to think about it as Diego abruptly dragged his tongue across your face, lapping up the blood from your nose. You groaned in disgust and Diego chuckled.

“Again. Kiss me again and this time do it like you bloody mean it!”

You obliged, pressing your lips against his and his mouth all but engulfed you as he turned the simple kiss into a full on make out session. You whimpered pathetically the entire time.

Diego pulled away, his face back to normal.

“Well, that’s a start.” he quipped.

------

Diego walked out of the stable after putting Silver Bullet away. Like clockwork, you shoved your way out of the crowd and landed on your knees at Diego’s feet. He turned, giving you a blank look. You didn’t look up. You didn’t want to see that triumphant look in his eyes. You also didn’t want to see the looks of disgust and pity on the faces of the crowd. It was bad enough that you could hear the things they were saying about you.

Pathetic.

Desperate.

Filthy.

Annoying.

At every checkpoint, Diego had you playing the part of his pitiful little fan that followed him everywhere he went, desperately seeking his attention. It was beyond humiliating, but you didn’t have a choice in the matter. Diego warned you that if you wanted to eat today, you’d better put on a good show like the obedient little dog you were.

“You were wonderful out there today, Diego!” you said, using the tone you’d always used on him back when you were trying to win him over.

Laughter erupted from the crowd and your face heated up. You lowered your gaze even further so that you were staring at the mud that stained your knees. Diego ignored the crowd and tenderly grasped one of your hands. He pulled you up from the dirt, earning a murmur of adoration.

How kind he was to give that filthy street walker even a modicum of his time.

“You don’t look like you’ve eaten in a while,” He said in a soft tone that had tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

He was horrible. The living definition of a monster. How could anyone buy into this act of fake kindness he was putting on? He used a thumb to wipe the tears from your eyes, smearing some of the caked up dirt on your cheeks.

“Don’t cry, now. Let’s get you fed.”

He pulled you along and you followed behind him, head lowered. Diego had ruined you. The days of holding your head high were long over. You would never get your dignity back after this. The only thing that concerned you now is whether or not Diego would let you sleep in a hotel room or stick you in the stables tonight.

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #reader insert #yandere jojo #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo x reader #yandere jjba x reader #yandere diego brando #diego brando x reader #diego brando #yandere steel ball run #steel ball run #jjba part 7 #jjba sbr #i'm sorry if this is bad

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borisbubbles · 1 month

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Eurovision 2023: #02 & #01 (Finale)

02. CZECHIA Vesna - "My sister's crown" 10th place

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Decade ranking: 5/116 [Above Daði Freyr, below Käärijä]

Finland over Czechia seems like a no-brainer. Some midcarding bitches vs ~K*Ä*Ä*R*I*J*Ä~ come on, how hard can it be? Who is Czechia even for?!

ME, motherfucker. This entry is for ME, and FOR ME ALONE!!! and since this is MY ranking, that made the decision very difficult. It took me MONTHS to settle who to put at the top.

Vesna are often cited as one of the more overrated acts in the year. Overrated by whom? Who overrates Vesna? Isn't 10th a correct placement? i've met NO ONE who would even consider putting them as high as second? - and I obv don't count since it took me AN ETERITY to out myself as a Vesna stan!!

I'd counter that Czechia are THE MOST UNDERRATED by the fandom (not by placement - that is Slovenia, as always) and absolutely deserved all the good things that happened to them ^_^

So obviously, there are multiple factors at work here. The song is a fantastic earworm. Like, defo one of the best in the year? In terms of sheer replayability, "My Sister's Crown" is on the same level as "Edgar" (studio only :-/) and "Carpe Diem", and you know how much I value those. The song has four languages (including Bulgarian) and none of them clash. The lyrics are quotable and fun. This is a track with ATTITUDE and ZEST, that managed to criticize the war in Ukraine without beating us over the head with it via a poorly hidden, clumsily written political message. The song is SMART, and respects its listeners.

LOVE'S NOT A MONEY BAG BLOOD'S ON YOUR GOD'S HANDS YOU CANNOT STEAL OUR SOULS

However, going into the year, there were issues - Vesna were messy and dissonant, and the six girls often gave the impression of competing against each other for attention. They were not a UNIT. Although "My Sister's Crown" was always one of the best songs, many (including myself!) were sceptical it could come together.

And it did, spectacularly.

See, one of the things about this year is that the good performances and good songs were often mismatched. Albania, Estonia and Poland had great on-stage glam-ups, but they were severely hampered by the songs being what they were. Other countries such as France and Austria had good songs, but required really good acts to tie them together, and failed or, in case of say UK, has good acts that were performed badly.

If you made a Venn Diagram between the best songs and the biggest growers, there wouldn't be much overlap. Except for Czechia.

To quote Matteo Lane's pearl of wisdom; if there's only ONE GAY, everything gets done! Ahmad Malloun was the One Gay and channeled his bossbottom energy to fuss Vesna into shape. Suddenly, the girls were harmonious and disciplined and that made all the difference. Suddenly, Czechia had an act with a clear vision - Six women united visually through their outfits. Vesna had become a UNIT, united through sisterhood.

SESTRO KRASIVA OI TI SILYNA HOROBRA JEDINA KORONA TVOJA

It really doesn't get mentioned nearly often enough how amazing the Czech staging was. Sure, Loreen and Käärijä, both top notch. But this is my personal favourite of the bunch. It's a visually stunning, avant garde act that fits the music, that fits the thematics, that pulls you in and tells a story without overtly complicating matters. They start as a group of angry hexaplets and then burst into joyful sororian rapture at the end. The staging is both aesthetically pleasing and intuitive. They hit the gold standard for acts that everyone should try to strive for!!

There are times where I wonder whether I really should rank Vesna above Käärijä. My Sister's Crown fully morphed into a me-coded entry. And perhaps, if and when I watch 2023 again, I may do exactly that. For now though, I've decided against it. The argument for Finland is less complicated, so I went with that. And now for the winner of this ranking I am sure NOBODY saw coming ever:

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01. FINLAND Käärijä - "Cha Cha Cha" 2nd place

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Decade ranking: 4/116 [Above Vesna, below Chanel]

It's Käärijä, bitch.

I rest my case for ranking Finland first. I don't think anyone argues this as invalid? Good, let's pick it all apart because if there's anything Käärijä deserves, it is being talked about. 😉

So um, where to start? Maybe it's best to start with the song - "Cha Cha Cha" was that rare 1-in-500 entry. I always say that novelty always tends to become stale over time - once in a blue moon however, it endures. "Cha Cha Cha" is a novelty song that is also an excellent song in its own right, and it stil holds up very well. It's a fun song to listen to, even without all the circus and theatrics.

The circus and theatrics though, omg <3 Talk about a DELECTABLE act, once again. This is yet again an example of how staging compliments the song and makes it digestible. Cha Cha Cha is entirely in Finnish with only a few loan words tossed in - difficult to get into on paper. The staging however, brings the plot points home.

The song's about wanting to overcome anxieties to dance? So break from the crates

Confront the inner Dance Demons that harass your psyche

make your way to the dancefloor while dodging decapitation via errant wires.

and then, when you overcome all fears transition to that godly, campy key chance, ride your them, having overcome your inhibitions.

AND I GALLAVANT ON THE FLOOR LIKE A CHA CHA CHA AND MY ANXIETIES HAVE NO GRIP ON ME NO MORE

The act is BRILLIANT. The ballroom dancers with their creepy pearly-whites, the dorkopotamus choreography, the styling, the overwhelming sense of triumph once the key change hits... It's the same deal as Vesna and Loreen, just a handful of visual cues that visualize the song's themes (anxiety, rather than sisterhood or desolation) are easy to understand and don't further complicate matters. THIS is how it's done. This is how you Eurovision.

The magical ingredient that tied it all together was the man, the dad bod, the bolero himself - Käärijä. Talk about a personality so massive everything gravitated towards him. It's hard to put the extent of his likeability into words - he's just so disarmingly himself. The key here is that Käärijä doesn't see himself as anything special. To him, he's just "boy from Vantaa who likes queen Loreen". He's just self-aware enough to realize the effect he has on others, but not self-aware enough to understand what exactly endears him to so many people. So when Käärijä plays up for funsies, he magnifies all aspects of his personality which makes him... even more endearing. 😍

(it's the same magic dust that has people flock to Baby Lasagna this year, really.)

It's rare to have a contestant who managed to completely warp the meta around him to this extent. It's even more rare that the contestant in this position then loses the competition. I remember telling my friend André, who was behind on NF news, that Käärijä had won UMK, and he replied with an innocuous "great, I haven't been this excited for a contestant since Verka!". I think I realize in that moment, that was to be Käärijä's destiny. Verka was the Hot Favourite in their year, the breakout star of 2007 - and Verka placed second to a more competent entry (Molitva <3). It was in that moment that I knew that Käärijä's inevitable fate was to come second to Loreen.

And I feel like, we all knew deep down that was where we were headed. We all wanted Käärijä to win as much as we did, because we knew that he would not. He was blissfully cruising towards a loss, and that was too much of an injustice to accept it and not manifest a reality where he beats Sweden.

It even got to a point where some people are now retroactively trying push the notion Tattoo is better than Euphoria (that statement is more offensive than anything I've ever commited to print or speech, including the one time I called Lesley Roy frumpy on cam <3) and the best entry ever (excuse you?) largely because it beat Cha Cha Cha.

So if Käärijä is this great, then why the doubt? Why only fourth for the decade (for the moment)?

Well, it's same deal as Cornelia for me. The best live of Cha Cha Cha that we received was the first one, at UMK, and every other performance we've had since then was not as good. The one in Eurovision had terrible vocals and slightly less impressive staging compared to UMK. I know right? The ESC staging did MORE and yet accomplished LESS. They got rid of all the wrestling references? Where's the close-up at the end? The arena? THE LIFT?

Sure, these inaccuracies didn't detract from my personal enjoyment of Cha Cha Cha. They however did allow for Käärijä to fall behind far enough behind Loreen in the jury vote so that he could no longer catch up with her in the televote, like a death by a thousand paper cuts.

It was a great live, but it wasn't great enough to win. Eurovision Käärijä was not Käärijä at his best, while Vesna without question gave their best performance in the Grand Final. Hence my doubts.

However, I ultimately went with Käärijä anyway because he did something Vesna could not - he gave a concert in my city, and I attended. HE MADE ME LEAVE THE HOUSE AFTER DARK. And god, if you've not been to a Käârijä gig before, absolutely fucking go if you're able to - IT'S CRAZY IT'S PARTY is the perfect catchphrase for this hyperactive, sexually amorphous, adorkable gremlin.

He was his unadulterated self, slapping his belly only vaguely aware of his sex appeal, swooning over a group of Slovene attendees because they reminded him of The Love Of His Life Bojan Cveticanin, ripping one of his merch t-shirts in half and then wearing it as a jacket, airdiving a wayward balloon that floated its way on the stage. The music was also excellent. Exposed to to the FULL scope of Käärijäness, made all the good memories of the 2023 preshow flow back, how could I not rank him anywhere other than first? Maybe I will change my mind and rank Vesna first in a few years from now, but for now, let's savour him while he's still fresh in our minds.

REMINDER THAT THE 2024 ROSTER IS GREAT LARGELY THANKS TO KÄÄRIJÄ.

REMINDER THAT HE WOULD SO WIN ANY FUTURE EUROVISION IF HE WANTED TO:

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(May I just name this as my fave song from the 2024 nf season MAY I????*)

He WAS 2023. He WAS Eurovision.

He may have lost the contest, but he has won life. (and paid his taxes.)

ALL RISE FOR THE BEST ACT OF 2023!

The RANKING (completed)

"Novo, Bolje" was my fave 2024 NF also-ran. Obv.

ADDENDUM: ABOUT ESC2024

Yeah, obviously i'm not going to do a pre-show ranking. With all the poison and controversy going on, it's just not the right time. I delayed this ranking specificially so that I wouldn't be temped to do the 2024 one later. (Unlike a certain broadcasting institution, I possess a modest amount of insight, foresight and self-awareness. 🙂 )

Hopefully, ESC 2024 goes down without too many incidents, and I'll able to start my post-show ranking the week after the Grand Final.

See you there, hopefully, if Eurovision isn't dead and buried by then! 💚

#Eurovision 2023 #ESC 2023 #ESC #Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision2023 #BorisBubbles #Vesna #My Sister's Crown #Czechia #Finland #Käärijä #Cha Cha Cha

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ganymede-princess · 7 months

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The Crimson King | Rhaegar Targaryen

ship: rhaegar targeryen x fem!oc

warnings: I really don't think there is any? jaime is a little scary i guess. OH and cannon divergence. Big ol' TW for that.

summary: a young crannogman girl meets the crowned prince on a very special occasion.

word count: 3298

a/n: phew! this was a long time coming. I hope you like it! (and if you don't fuck with the romance, there's a more interesting scene at the end!) There will be a part 2, just by the way ;)

written by @ganymede-princess

The thick, hot air in the royal ballroom carried the scent of a thousand perfumed bodies. Long tables lined the room, piled high with foods from across the Seven Kingdoms. Among the dishes Frida spied fat frogs legs and water lily syrup from her home in the Neck, next to crabs and succulent fried fish from Lannisport, sweet pastries made from the honey of Highgarden, and bowls of flakey pink rock salt from Dragonstone. Despite the sight of countless exotic delicacies, her stomach churned.

Hundreds of highborn folk all milled around, laughing, dancing, talking, each one dressed more lavishly than the last. Frida had never seen so much silk in one place. Bewitched as she was with the nightlife of King's Landing, she found herself growing into the wall like an unsightly mushroom. She was acutely aware that she did not blend in with the royal aesthetics. Her unruly hair could only be half tamed and her mauve linen gown looked miserly next to the lavish satins and velvets that garbed the ruling class. Frida could feel a hundred sets of eyes boring into her, though when she glanced around, there were none there to meet. She thought there must be hearths burning somewhere. If there were no hearths, why did the air feel so heavy?

Frida searched the room for the face of her brother to no avail. Ewyn had no struggles with making friends in spite of his Crannogman roots and noticeable limp. Frida guessed he would be engaged by the end of the night. With no respite in sight and her breath coming shallower by the second, she made a hasty escape. She slipped around the edge of the ballroom, narrowly avoiding several dancing couples, at least three stray cats, and a drunken septon, before emerging onto a small rampart with stairs at either end. Frida thought it wise to take a quick turn around the rose garden below to calm herself, but once she reached a shadowed corner she could contain her exhaustion no longer and fell to her knees between two sweet smelling bushes. She did not cry, just breathed deeply, content in the knowledge that she was far away from prying eyes. Until she heard a sniffle from behind the rosebush to her left.

"Hello?" Frida's voice caught in her throat. There came no answer, just another quieter sniffle. "Who's there?"

"Nobody." Said the invisible man in a voice thick with sorrow. "Leave me."

"What's the matter?" The leaves rustled gently as Frida shifted awkwardly, trying her best to see through the thick bushes.

"Worry not."

"But you're crying."

"No." His voice cracked. "I am the- I am a man."

"What's that got to do with it?" Frida corrected. "My brother cries all the time, and he's already one and twenty."

There was a brief rustling in the bush and the clearing of a throat.

"What brings him to cry?" The voice seemed to settle a little.

"Oh everything!" Frida murmured. "Books, flowers, pretty sunsets. He cries almost every time he rides a horse. He has an injury to one of his legs, you see. A lizard-lion took his knee in its jaws and damn near tore his leg off! He used to love running, so riding is a real joy for him."

"A lizard-lion? You are from the Neck?"

Fuck. Frida thought. The voice carried the accent of King's Landing and she knew very well that folk from the capital were the most prejudiced against Crannogmen out of anywhere in the Seven Kingdoms. He was sure to send her away now, or worse.

"Yes."

"Tell me, what is it like there?"

"Oh- um. Wet." She babbled. "Very wet and slippery."

"I hear that beautiful flowers grow there." The man mused, his mild voice easing Frida's apprehension slightly.

"Yes. Ghost orchids, swamp arums, blue-eyed Bessies that grow on the trunks of trees; all of them beautiful." In a hushed voice she added, "But, do you know which is the most beautiful flower of all?"

"No, tell me."

"Black water lilies. My house has bred them to perfection."

"Your house?"

"I belong to House Fenn, Ser."

"Ah." There was a moment of surprisingly comfortable silence between them. "What brings you to the garden, my lady?"

"You take me for a lady?" Frida giggled.

"Are you not?" She could hear the smile return to his voice. "You take me for a Knight."

"Are you not?"

"I am, yes, but there is more to me than a knighthood."

"Such as?"

The man paused for a moment.

"You didn't answer my question."

Frida hesitated, searching for a way to put it lightly.

"The feast is full of beautiful people. I worried that my being there would ruin things."

"Why?"

"Well... I am ugly, Ser."

"Ugly?" His voice was curt with indignation. "Who led you to believe this?"

"My mother always told me that other folks look down on Crannogmen and that they find us ugly." In the anonymity of darkness, words tumbled out of her. "Though she also said I am ugly for a Crannogman."

A thick silence stood between them.

"How could a mother say such a thing to her child?"

"She's very sick, she doesn't think-"

"She's well enough that you believe her." The truth silenced Frida. "Come here so that I might see you for myself."

"You won't like it." She warned him and prepared herself to move, though she was unsure in which direction.

Frida heard the tink tink of flint against flint, then a warm glow began to shine through the rose bush. Her ears roared with the pounding of her heart, but she knew she had to show herself. She had to see the face of the man with the handsome voice, and more so she had to know what he thought of her. Trembling, she revealed herself. A black hood shrouded his face in shadow, but Frida could see his deep blue eyes widen, almost purple in the firelight.

"My lady-" His voice came in an urgent, breathy whisper.

"Don't."

She turned away from him, already humiliated, until she felt a hand gently guide her face back to him. She resisted, gripping his forearm.

"Please, look at me." Though his voice cracked in desperation, it was commanding enough that she turned to him again. The light caught his arrow-straight nose, and the soft pillow of his lips. Frida's breath hitched.

"I must take your mother for a liar, my lady."

"She said... people like you would think I look like a toad."

"No." He smiled. "But if you did, you would be a very beautiful toad indeed."

"Thank you." She blushed, somewhat sceptical. "Let me see you too."

"I can't, my-"

"Your Grace!" A tall, golden-haired man wearing a glittering white cloak and armour came careening around the corner of the hedge. "Gods, I thought I'd lost you. Avast, wench! Rise in the name of your king!"

The kingsguard drew his ornate longsword and pointed the sharp tip at Frida's face. Aghast, she cringed away from him and crawled a few paces back with him keeping pace.

"Enough, Jaime!" The shadowed man leapt to his feet and lunged forward to push the blade away, toppling over the lantern. "Can't you see she's harmless?"

"Kingslayer." The word was out of her mouth before Frida knew what she was saying. Jaime Lannister swung the sword back around to her.

"It's treason to disrespect a Kingsguard." The young man's eyes glittered with rage. "Say it once more and I'll cut the head from your shoulders, girl."

"Enough!" The shadowed man commanded, and grimacing, the Whitecloak stayed his blade. "Leave us."

"But, Your Grace-"

"Leave us. Alert Ser Barriston that the ceremony will take place as we discussed."

"Your Grace, I cannot leave you undefended."

"I have a sword on my hip and the skill to wield it. Leave us. You will not defy me again."

"Your Grace." Ser Jaime stalked off in a huff, his white cloak billowing behind him.

"Please," The shadowed man looked down at Frida, face creased with embarrassment. "Ser Jaime prefers the title The White Lion."

Frida gaped, wide eyed; knowing the truth but not believing it. As he picked up the lantern with his ungloved hand, Frida thought he would burn his fingers to the bone, but he simply dusted them on his coat, stamped out the fire in the grass with a black leather boot, and shed his hood to reveal a mop of hair that glimmered like spun silver. His eyes were wide and glassy, and Frida saw then that they truly were as purple as morning glory. He held out his hand, and for a moment all Frida could do was stare at it.

"My king." Frida could not keep the astonishment from her voice. "I'm sorry."

"For what reason?"

"I've spoken ill and disrespected you." She looked away. "I'm sure I have."

"I have heard no disrespect from you, lady, I am not so easily wounded. Please, take my hand." He pressed closer, a smile taking over his tear-streaked face when she let him pull her to her feet. "I appreciate your honest words, please do not dull your voice for the sake of my title. Besides, I ought to apologise for the behaviour of my protector. Please forgive him, he is young and still has much to learn."

"My king." Frida found herself without words.

"Go back to the feast, lady." The young dragon sighed and pressed a kiss against her palm. "I must prepare in my chambers. Thank you... for your kindness."

Without the wit to respond, Frida curtseyed clumsily and hurried back to the hall. Her head and heart were reeling with the urge to tell The Bloodmaid, her favourite weirwood from home, and she felt suddenly and starkly alone without the comfort of her red timber eyes. As she tumbled back into the ballroom, her gaze fell on her brother who leaned on a giant stone pillar, surrounded with a number of laughing Riverlander knights. Heart sinking, Frida took a steadying breath and marched up to the group.

"Ewyn, brother," Frida took him by the upper arm, silence falling on the group. "May I have a word, just for a moment?"

"Frida," Ewyn stumbled over his words. "Don't you see I'm busy?"

"Come, have a word with us, fair lady." Grinned a young man with red hair and a speckled face. "There is wine enough for another."

"Ed," Ewyn turned on him, scowling viciously. "Mind you don't drown in it, will you? Come on, Frida, let's talk."

He took her by the hand and limped away with impressive speed. When the pair were out of earshot, he frowned down at her.

"What is it?" Frida could smell the beer on his breath as he spoke.

"You're not going to believe me." She scratched her wrist, the sleeves on her dress suddenly feeling too close to her skin.

"I always believe you." Ewyn cocked an eyebrow, leaning against his mangrove cane.

"Well..." Frida chewed her fingers.

"You've been in the grass." He tutted derisively, green eyes alight with amusement.

She noticed that green stains marred her hem, along with her knees, and she assumed her buttocks too.

"Shit!" She muttered.

"Tsk tsk tsk, is that any way for a lady of the court to be speaking?"

"Oh, sod off." She aimed a half-hearted smack at his arm. "I'll have you know, it wasn't my fault. A Kingsguard knocked me over."

"A Kingsguard? Well, I suppose this is the place for it."

"Well... he was guarding the king."

Ewyn narrowed his eyes.

"What did you do? Spit on him?"

"No!" Frida pressed a hand against her cheek, trying to stave off the heat. "I just spoke to him, is all."

"You- you spoke to him?" His eyes were round as lily pads. "The king?"

"I didn't know it was him to start with. He was behind a bush with a cloak on, he could have been anybody."

"Yes, but-" He squinted, baffled. "He really spoke to you?"

"Yes-"

The trill of a lone trumpeter silenced them, and they turned to see a herald on the mezzanine above the ballroom.

"Make way to the Throne Room!" Though the herald was tall enough to be a man, his voice rang out high and clear as a child's. "The ceremony will begin presently!"

As the Goldcloaks pulled open the huge doors at the far end of the ballroom, Frida and Ewyn exchanged a glance, silently agreeing to discuss things later. They followed the snaking crowd down the long hallway until it opened into the cavernous throne room which was already teeming with smallfolk. A pair of enormous candelabras were suspended over the crowd, washing the blood red walls in firelight. Frida wondered how they kept the wax from dripping down on the folk below.

As they passed by the jostling throng of peasants and workers to take their places in front of the ornate barrier, she felt ashamed to be separated from them. Since childhood she had felt the earth on bare feet and worked hard to sustain her House; to be dressed in any kind of finery and placed above the common people felt farcical. Goldcloaks lined the edges of the passageway through the crowd, and Frida noticed they stood two abreast in the peasants' section at the back, and single file from the vassal and cadet houses, all the way to the lords and ladies of the great houses at the very front.

"What was he like?" Ewyn whispered.

"Sad." Frida sighed.

"Sad?" He raised an eyebrow, then nodded wisely. "It's the only way to feel in his position."

"Very lovely, though." She admitted. "He'll be a good king."

Her brother's eyes crinkled in amusement, then he jumped as the heralds rang out a triumphant cry from the back of the room. Silence fell over the crowd as every man, woman, and child turned at once. Frida peered through the crowd, barely able to see a thing. She could see a Targaryen flag bobbing over the crowd, sending an odd lump into her throat as it came closer, and closer. The entire room was silent except for the footsteps growing ever closer. No cheering or jeering, no coughing. Then, through the gap between the two Goldcloaks by her side she saw Ser Barristan Selmy stride through, holding a long staff with a red dragon flag of black silk, glorious in his white armour. Next was the crown prince himself, dressed in mournful black velvet finery and a heavy black cloak that dragged along the ground behind him. The sadness on his face seemed carved into stone, but he held his back straight and walked with the grace and strength of a king. Behind him, his remaining two Kingsguard marched beside each other, their heads held high in pride. Ser Jaime supported the tawny Dornishman Lewyn Martell, who limped along with one leg in a splint, their arms around each other in solidarity. Once the tiny party climbed all the way up the steps to the Iron Throne, Frida caught a glimpse of four men in white who stood a little ways down the steps, new blood waiting to be sworn into the Kingsguard: three fresh faced young warriors, and a grizzled man of middle age with deep auburn hair streaked with grey.

Selmy, Lannister, and Martell took their places beside their soon-to-be brothers, while Rhaegar stood before the Iron Throne, its silver blades forming rippling shadows on the massive horned dragon skull behind them. Frida imagined hundreds of fallen soldiers watching down on the man they had died for, using Balerion's great hollow eyes to see. If their loss weighed him down, he did not show it, standing strong as a giant on the steps where his father's blood once formed a crimson tide. The High Septon stood beside him, hands clasped in solemnity beneath dagged sleeves, heavy with jewels; and beside him stood the little prince Viserys, milk white curls almost to his waist, dutifully clutching a red lacquer box. Rhaegar's eyes swept across the crowd, burning with pride, grief... perhaps even fear; then he knelt, his black velvet cloak folding around his frame like a pair of wings.

"By the light of the Seven, we gather this night to welcome a new king. Let us pray." Every faithful soul in the crowd placed hand over heart at the septon's words. Even for Frida, who's gods were cold and wild, it was hard not to be moved. "May the Warrior lend him the courage of his ancestors, that he might lead us with a bold heart through the harshest of winters; and may the Smith guide him to mend the divisions of our realm. May the Maiden warm his bed with a fitting bride and many sons; and the Crone bless him with wisdom to pass on to his heirs. May the Father Above guide him to justice, and the Mother protect him from harm. And the Stranger- when he must come- may he take him kindly."

The Septon turned, and Little Viserys fumbled to open the box. Frida heart swelled when she spotted an encouraging smile on Rhaegar's face, which seemed to grant the toddler enough strength to get the lid off. He tottered forward and held it up above his head, and the Septon took out a plain gold circlet and nestled it into the King's pale curls.

"Under seven sets of watchful eyes, I name King Rhaegar of House Targaryen, the first of his name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm. Long may he reign."

"Long may he reign." The crowd echoed as one.

Rhaegar rose to face them, and as he did, Frida saw that his crown was adorned with a single glimmering ruby that sat just above his eyes on a fine gold chain. He thrust his fist to the sky, and the room filled with the thunder of cheers and feet drumming on the stone floor. He seemed to drink in the praise, determination steeling his gaze. He dropped his fist to his side, silencing the crowd.

"From childhood, I knew the day my reign began would be marred with grief, but I could never have dreamt of the loss the realm has suffered for my coronation. I know that every soul in the Seven Kingdoms grieves for someone lost to this bloody rebellion, or my father's madness. King Aerys saw enemies in every shadow, and would have razed this city to the ground just to flood it with light and annihilate his mummer's adversaries. I saw smallfolk treated worse than dogs; children whipped by Goldcloaks in the street. How could a man see such tyranny and not rebel? Robert Baratheon's courage was admirable, and in another life I might have fought beside him and called him 'brother;' but his war was not the answer, and now we are left with the consequence. As I stand here now with you as my witnesses, I promise to usher in a new age of the Targaryen dynasty. An age of peace and unity, of prosperity and change. The House of the Dragon will reforge, and the realm along with it."

He stood in silence a moment, eyes ablaze. Then as the crowd erupted once more, he turned, his cloak billowing a red dragon on black, and stepped up to the Iron Throne on a stair forged from a giant warhammer. The heralds blared, Frida applauded until her hands burned with the effort and her heart hammered in her chest, and when she was done she felt her face wet with tears.

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #game of thrones #house of the dragon #rhaegar targaryen #rhaegar targaryen x reader #toby regbo #francis valois #francis de valois #reign

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mcflymemes · 10 months

Text

AS SAID BY ANDERS * assorted dialogue from dragon age: II

i think something's moving!

i hear it's quite popular.

that's not strictly accurate.

i'm always happy to see your face... but it seems particularly lovely right now.

we've hardly met and i feel like i know you. am i making you uncomfortable?

you do have an opinion on mages, don't you?

can i ask you something, [name]?

i think we're better off focusing on the task at hand.

i shouldn't be seen here.

i've tried not to shout it from the rooftops.

i know it isn't my place to criticize, but...

oh, i'm sure i can get more creative.

a year ago, maybe we could have had something.

that's not what i was going to ask.

i need your help again. can we speak privately?

i'm your worst nightmare!

you're not nearly as selfish as you pretend.

i'm right here, you know. should i stick my fingers in my ears until you're done?

they never learn, do they?

not all mages are weak.

go ahead. say it.

you specifically don't mention me.

why would you shy away from loving someone just because they're like you?

i don't know how you live the way you do, blithely ignoring the consequences of your actions.

i'd like to attend the funeral.

anyway, you wanted to talk to me?

i can't believe you're still not taking sides.

i would drown us in blood to keep you safe.

i keep thinking i know you from somewhere.

we have important things to do. why do they insist on interrupting?

i don't think they're here to chat!

you take a grave risk in trusting me.

it's not a good feeling, you know.

i don't know whether to cherish every moment i am with you, or fear for you to have me there.

how can you have so much faith? does nothing bother you?

it doesn't matter. nobody deserves that.

you've messed with the wrong mage!

everyone, over here!

some things are worse than death.

want to see what's under these robes?

this is so not working!

so you're telling me you have no opinion on the matter?

where did you learn your magic?

do you ever have any regrets?

it was meant well. i don't know if that's enough to forgive me.

you don't like me, [name]?

my bruises have bruises!

i think i broke every bone in my body.

i'm not sure how much more of this i can take.

no! don't be dead! please!

any suggestions?

are you sure you want to encourage me? i might be about to confess my undying love.

you didn't have anything to do with this?

my face is the least of my concerns right now.

you're giving me that look again.

i'm a mage, not a miracle worker.

if someone here tries to hire me again, i'm leaving.

don't mind me. i'm just going to hide my face for a while.

it is still a thrill to turn and see you beside me.

your support has meant the world to me.

sometimes i miss being that selfish.

what makes this relic of yours so valuable?

you've got a real chip on your shoulder, you know?

i just figured some of them would say no. for aesthetic reasons, if nothing else.

i don't see how that's any of your business.

why don't you shout? i don't think everyone heard you.

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akria23 · 4 months

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Suspect / Character Chart Update:

Nobody:

So this week’s episode moved us off the path of Nuth as he claimed that Nant committed suicide - including some possible flashbacks of the body. This moves my Nobody theory - specifically Nobody: Theory A into sus rank 1.

Do I believe that Nant committed suicide tho? No I’m not convinced yet. I do think he’d have a lot of reasons for suicide - which I pointed out the first time I posted - but there’s so many questions left with that option. Where’s the body? Did nuth hide it? Why? What about a suicide note - not everyone leaves one but it seems strange of Nant in particular to not want to get out to his brother what he’d never been able to say while living.

I do think this does move up other aspects of the Nobody theory tho - they confirmed debt collectors so maybe Nant faked his death & went into hiding, or they harmed him. We still have the possibility of psychological break & Nont and Nant being the same person who just suffered a traumatic experience or drug usage that caused a break in his psyche - I still don’t want this the most but I can see it being this cause it is the safer route to end us off with.

Nuth:

Nuth has moved down in the ranks to the number 2 spot. Hes not lower because while he claims that Nant ruined his life and committed suicide all of his flashbacks of Nant so far hasn’t shown Nant be violent or harmful towards him. He’s pictured supportive, sexualized, and a hurt Nant. That’s not to say Nant couldn’t have harmed him or even made his life worse - it’s just a possibility that Nuth isn’t a reliable source even his flashbacks. We’ve seen him have hallucinations so it’s difficult to say what he recalls or sees as 100 proof of things happening or have happened.

Also…did they ever tell us what the bloody hand print was from… If Nant was selling drugs to pay his debt is it the same ppl Nuth is selling for? Theres also these lines or cages placed over Nuth sometimes and I’m not sure if it’s metaphor for criminality or a metaphor for how trapped he feels. There’s still one of two threads they can pull and circle back around to it being Nuth so he stays on the list.

Prom:

It’s still all vibes no evidence. He doesn’t slip, he doesn’t miss. He’s almost the perfect specimen partner wise in the sense that he has an ability to read Nont in a way no other does. He’s not overbearing, or controlling. He doesn’t try to change Nont’s mind after boundaries are set. Anything Nont says he needs or wants, Prom goes along with - an active supporter (plotting, research, giving him the weapon). But that’s the thing, Nont is more honest with him than he is with any other characters - and he has to see the frayed edges but he doesn’t pull Nont back at all. He enables…he’s supporting his descent.

The question I’m lost on is why. Maybe it’s empathy, relatability- I too am sadistic in my way, I too have rage, I wanna kill someone - and because he’s so good at repressing he admires & desires Nont who doesn’t repress who just acts and reacts. And this is what makes them revenge lovers.

But there’s still always that niggle at my brain that reminds me that Prom inserted himself and then had had influence over the case ever since. The show is always highlighting something off when Prom is in the mix - the music change, the aesthetic of the room, the way they position his def in scenes at the Playboyy with Aob & Puen (which I’m sure is to show us how he’s a source that benefits from the competing nature). He still feels like an invisible hand, still feels like he’s playing chess and seeing moves ahead of his lover. There’s so much mystery surrounding him still that’s it’s difficult to move him off the suspect board.

Porsche:

I still can’t tie Porsche into his death so he stays at number 4 ranking but I still wonder if his sugar daddy had anything to do with Nant that would’ve set them into a competitive nature for his resources and therefore enemies…that’s my mind working theories from what the story has given us thus far tho.

#playboyy #playboyy the series #playboyy meta #playboyy spoilers #Playboyy ep7 #thai bl #thai series #Playboyy theories

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viviennelamb · 15 days

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Greetings Vivienne,

I received your book earlier today, and I was just got to your section on Adam and Eve and I just wanted to say I really love how you interpreted the “be fruitful and multiply” verse, looking at it this way makes much more sense and is actually wholesome and uplifting. It’s no wonder lustful heterosexuals took this meaning out and exchanged it with a meaning regarding physical reproduction of the ego. Also I have read many years ago that Adam was originally female and that Adam had a womb, what they call a Tsela in Hebrew, which I find even more interesting as it would mean both Adam and Eve were female. Also Genesis 2:24 is quite interesting in wording the pathology of the incomplete male seeking to reattach to the female. I can’t wait to get to your chapters on genetics, I’ve always found it extremely important for beginners on the spiritual journey to understand male genetics so they won’t be deceived by pseudo spiritual “teachers” and duped into some form of phallus worship. You are one of the very few people who put the pieces together in their entirety and I’m so grateful to have experienced your work ❤️🦋💓🥰🌟🪷🌺✨

Hello ❤️,

Many people will interpret the Bible, and anything really, based on their personal vibration. A sex-conscious individual will obviously interpret everything they read sexually. I won't tell them they're wrong, but I do listen to people carefully and take them at face value to understand the state of their mind. I have a problem when they begin enforcing their carnal interpretation of a Spiritual book on me as if I exist to further their agenda, and I let them know quickly that I'm not one of their kind. If they want to breed themselves to death, that's their decision.

The Holy Bible is a beautiful book, and one of my favorites because it's the truth. Most people think that the Bible is telling people how to live, when it's the Book of Reality. They're also upset that the Bible is patriarchal, but it's the ordinary person who's patriarchal by having sex with men. Women like submitting to men, the Bible didn't tell them to do that. The book is just a documentation of what's actually happening.

There's actually a group that has more power than heterosexuals, which you will find in a later chapter. Heterosexuals have been groomed and taught to feel prideful about their sexual habits, so they procreate and spend their lives producing for the system. This group meticulously planned how to keep the system going and gaining all the profit from it while heterosexuals are in perpetual debt and stress. But it's their choice because they cannot pass up the status, validation, and limitless sex they get from marriage and procreation. Pride is a drug.

Heterosexuals don't have any power. They're slaves. Any "power" they have is artificial and they're the scapegoat. This is especially evident when I ask them why they have kids after they rant to be about the faults of society, and they shrug and go silent. I'm not against people having children, but I like to see where a person's mind is at and heterosexuals are zombies. I'm not impressed with child-free heterosexuals who still have sex because they're still placing themselves in the position to be slaves.

A heterosexual/bisexual who is chaste has gone against a hell of a lot more programming than somebody who's homosexual and chaste. When you're a lesbian especially, it's quicker to step out of brainwashing because nobody cares about lesbians, which is an advantage when it comes to finding God. Heterosexuals sincerely do not understand choice and freewill, they are operating on a genital level because they've been taught that's all they're useful for since birth—both the males and females.

Straights get irate when you talk to them about anything that isn't traditional. Most of them are convinced they're not traditional and unique when they have sex with the opposite sex and give birth. That's as traditional as it gets. The aesthetics don't matter, that was a marketing tool. They hold strongly to the notion of “social suicide” as anything that restricts their sexual options undermines their will to survive. They exist to breed and then die. They smugly say this is the only thing they're useful for as well.

Very basic concepts like vulnerability and personality traits are vast and complex to them because it brings a new aspect to sex. Pretty much, they explore anything that allows them to become preoccupied with sex in a slightly different way because there's legitimately nothing else for them to think about.

They're always protesting for freedom, but when I ask who is oppressing them, I still, to this day, have never got a direct answer. Whether it's about religion, race, gender, it's a system they could put an end to if they kept their legs closed.

Gender is an important topic in spirituality, but I'm going to go beyond that. There really is no gender. Men and women do have their roles to play wrt to attaining purity, which you will read about in OTE. But really, when an individual becomes pure of mind, gender is a construct that has been created primarily for sexual reasons. Once one leaves sex-consciousness because you're not having sex anymore, gender isn't a big deal—it's about who's false self and who isn't. This will be in the next book.

Low conscious males and females are copies of one another, which is why you see they have the same movements (red pill, pink pill, MGTOW, WGTOW, MRA, WRA) and neither can live by their philosophy because hateful dogma makes money. There's a prominent leader of a women's movement who talks a big game about hating men while being married to one. These individuals appear as human, but are animals. I never mean earthly animals either, they're much lower entities who are manipulative and have no regard for you. They're an amalgamation of disease, addictions and stolen personality traits, and they do it for profit. It's really weird, again, they're slaves and have a scarcity, lying and low-self worth problem. Until they resolve these issues, the only achievement they will have in life is having a lot of money... but become so depressed they cannot even spend it, so they hoard it and convince themselves it's “saving” or “investing.”

I'm glad you're enjoying the book so far!!

#ask

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tf2fansderogatory · 1 year

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guys hear me out. if the mercs were tf2 animatronics what would their mechanics be

my guy you just gave me an entire AU idea

RED and BLU are rival entertainment companies, both build animatronics that perform at restaurant locations and can be rented, FNAF-style. their animatronics are so similar that one *has* to be ripping off the other, but nobody knows which is the original and which is the copy so people just pick which one they go to based on the color scheme and aesthetic

Scout has two main functions; waiter/server, and entertainer via sports. he has impeccable balance and sure footing, making him perfect for carrying plates and other dishes across a room filled with rambunctious, running children. when it comes to entertaining, he has an entire portion of his memory bank dedicated to just about every major sport in existence. his AI’s pretty good in that if the kids don’t understand some of the rules for a game, he can easily roll with it and come up with rule modifications on the spot to make sure the games are as fun as possible. normal racing is a popular game, especially since Scout’s fast. a lot faster than he lets on.

Solly works as one of multiple story-teller bots, specializing in exciting, action-filled stories- 9 times out of 10, war ones. when he was being built, the poor engineer/mechanic/all-around technician (Miss Pauling) was too sleep deprived to come up with many ideas beyond war stories. Soldier also promotes general physical health, and will usually run through “training exercises” (fit for kids) with everyone in the room after the story is over. a lot of the parents think that only the boys would like Soldier and some of them actively discourage their daughters from visiting him but they’re DUMB. at least half of the crowd of yelling, confidence-boosted cadets is eager young girls raring to fight and prove that they can do anything the boys can. sometimes the kids’ll form teams and play-fight/do a mock war. Solly makes sure that nobody gets injured and everyone knows how to “fight” without actually hurting someone. he knows how to do it perfectly, after all.

Pyro does arts and crafts, sometimes with Demo or Engie. they also, by nature of their mute design, encourage kids to be more understanding of people who don’t talk for whatever reason, which then carries over to being more understanding of anyone not like them. Pyro’s room is by far the most colorful; walls painted like Pyroland, cork boards absolutely littered in drawings the kids have given them, the shelves in his personal room (basically a closet where he goes to deactivate at the end of the day) filled with trinkets the kids made. their room is also connected to a small outside area with a fire pit. it’s nice for kids to relax with him and just watch the fire go. he even has a built-in lighter function in his hands, so he can start up a fire whenever.

Demo is also a story-teller, but his story genres are mystery and mythological/paranormal. he has a specialized voice box that lets him make sound effects, but so that they still sound like a human imitating the sound. his room is one of the most popular ones, though he prefers to wander around the establishment instead of sit in his room when he’s not telling stories. he helps out Pyro with arts and crafts, occasionally, but another way he likes to spend time with the kids is by showing off the medieval weapons (models) he has, and the kids always find it cool. it’s a rather large collection, and the models are quite…accurate.

Engie is, just like his normal tf2 counterpart, good at just about everything and pretty overworked. if animatronics could get stress headaches, he would, although mostly because of his desire to get all of his jobs done perfectly all at once. the jobs in question are musical entertainment, assistant cook, helping with arts and crafts, and helping with maintenance after the place is closed. he can play any strummed string instrument, and has a separate voice box just for singing. he also has extensive knowledge of the inner workings most of the electronic systems in the building; lights, sound systems, fire suppression- but not security. the company doesn’t want to risk him going haywire or getting some kind of malware and then letting thieves and such in. Engie also has an issue with his programming for talking to adults- the speech part of his ai is lacking in that department, so he tends to pull from what he knows for talking to kids, which used to make him come across as condescending at times. by now, though, he’s tweaked it and managed to perfect that polite, disarming tone of voice. he’s very good at it.

Heavy and Sniper’s rooms are connected and are the two designated “quiet rooms”. Heavy also reads to/with the kids and Sniper also tells nature stories, but for the most part they just keep a calm environment. kids with sensory issues, kids who get overstimulated, and even just kids who want to take a nap come to their rooms. there’s plenty of differently textured stuff available if someone needs to ground themselves or just wants to feel a certain texture. as for Heavy and Sniper themselves, they’re very calm and keep their voices low. Sniper makes sure everyone’s doing alright and doesn’t need anything, and Heavy deals with kids that are getting too loud or rambunctious (he’ll guide them out of the room and give them a gentle scolding, then let them back in if they promise to behave). if, for whatever reason, a parent is the one causing the issue, it’s still rather easy to get the parent out of the room(s), especially considering the strength of the two

Medic is the first aid bot, of course. the are a handful of different first aid stations around the building, with buttons to call Medic to them if he’s not there already. something went a little wrong with his personality coding, making him that unhinged man we all know and love, but he’s surprisingly good with kids and filtering what he says to not disturb them. the kids adore him. like Engie, though, he has issues interacting with adults- but instead of pulling from kid interaction info and coming off as condescending, Medic goes off of default, bland, robot interaction and ends up being just…creepy. short, curt speech, a lot of staring (with eyes that are far too observant and watching to be comfortable), and over time it goes from creepy and emotionless to creepy and somewhat hostile. it’s clear he’d rather be anywhere but around the adult. if one is being very insistent on talking to him, he’ll take to tidying up the nearest first aid station, giving a few…specific tools a rather thorough cleaning.

Spy, on the other hand, deals entirely with adults. he greets people at the door, and ensures the adults are at the very least comfortable while their kids have fun. most people question why his face was designed the way it was (with a mask), but…he’s calm, sophisticated, charming, the perfect animatronic for the job and honestly a good conversationalist. so nobody ever bothers to ask. it’s just a design choice, after all. Spy’s second function is assistant security, which has two parts of its own. the first is if a kid gets lost in the admittedly very large building. he’s the one who tracks them down and guides them back to their guardian. the second is helping the night shift guards when the place is closed. on most nights, he just patrols with them and takes care of any issues by following normal protocol. sometimes, though, he can convince the guards to go home and get some rest, and he and some (or all) of the other bots patrol. if someone tries to break in on one of those nights, well…you weren’t expecting to break into the home of nine sentient, semi-malfunctioning robots and get out, were you ?

#this was fun thank you anon #posted by ikea #anon #tf2 #scout #soldier #pyro #demoman #engineer #heavy #medic #sniper #spy #tf2 bot au

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stra-tek · 9 months

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Excerpt from I Survived Kirk, a forthcoming trashy tell-all autobiography fanfic about a bitter redshirt on Kirk's U.S.S. Enterprise

Oh yeah, the ship. It was supposedly the USS Enterprise that had essentially been my home for five years, “refitted”. But from what I could tell, in the past two years she had been rebuilt entirely new. Hell, not long after we docked I saw some of the refit concept plans with the header “USS ENTERPRISE NCC-1800” – and nothing says “yeah, it’s an entirely new ship” like a new Naval Construction Contract number. But, for whatever reason in the end they decided to keep the old number. Remember, I’m an engineer. I knew the Enterprise backwards and inside out, and I didn’t see a single thing of the original ship in the new. Not even the corridors are where they were. I’m told some of the saucer superstructure remains from the original. I even heard a rumour the stardrive section was built entirely anew, because the original had been [REDACTED BY STARFLEET COMMAND]. Sounds completely insane, but hey, insane is what we do for a living.

It’s sterile. The bright colours were gone. Oh yeah, and THEY CHANGED EVERY SINGLE CONTROL ON HER. I had to LEARN EVERYTHING AGAIN FROM SCRATCH. They gave us all copies of the Bridge Operations Manual to study, saying if we could operate the controls on the bridge, we could operate them anywhere.

Now, I’m not one to say the enterprise has the most user-friendly interface in the galaxy. In fact, it was really quite impractical, with buttons being largely unlabelled and context-sensitive, and a nightmare to do anything outside of the expected context in a hurry. If that makes any sense. But rather than evolve the existing designs, they just swapped them out for something based on Vulcan interfaces.

Now, in fairness, Vulcans had been flying through space for thousands of years (versus our hundred and fifty-odd) so their interfaces are probably among the most tried and tested in the galaxy, but they’re not what I grew up with. They’re not what I trained on and they’re not what I could use in my sleep. Nobody was happy. Scotty (now sporting grey hair and a pornstache) wouldn’t say a word against the change, but he chose his words carefully when discussing the new control interfaces. Other than that, of course, Scotty was bubbling with pride about the new Enterprise. He was one of the lead engineers on the refit project. Now her top speed was supposedly an insane warp factor 12 (up from 8 on the original, not that we ever adhered to that much), she had new and far more powerful weapons (when they worked, we quickly exposed a critical flaw in the phasers during the V’ger incident).

A lot of people say she’s the most beautiful starship ever created. I’ve never been one to say a starship is beautiful. It’s a thing, a vehicle, a machine, a means of conveyance. I was like that with cars as a kid and I’m like that as a grumpy old man. Anywho, all that said, yes this Enterprise is aesthetically pleasing, although I hate the the look of the new warp nacelles (the red spinners – or space energy matter sinks to those of us who lived on her) on the front were what got me interested in starships as a kid, to lose them sucked donkey balls), and the pylons looks as though they could be severed with one well-placed torpedo at their base.

Inside, as said already, she was sterile. Brushed metal everything. Particularly disconcerting, they’d added a shield to the transporter, protecting the transporter operator from… what? We were always told it was safe. The crew used it HUNDREDS of times without a shielded operator booth. Hell, I beamed dozens of people and tons of cargo up and down from various places. What was I unknowingly exposing myself to? Was it whatever sent Decker Sr, Tracey, Garth and the rest batshit insane? No straight answer from Starfleet. No straight answer even from Scotty, the man I trusted even though a part of me still suspected he killed that stripper and her husband.

The technical manual calls it a transparent aluminium radiation shield but treats it as if it’s always been there. So I dug back through records. Dozens and dozens of records, loads of ship designs and variants over 150 years. I eventually found the USS Franklin NX-326 had one on it’s cargo transporter, specified to “shield the operator from any cumulative radiations emitted by the transporter machinery during use”. What the fuck are “any cumulative radiations”?? It’s as if they don’t know themselves. And they probably didn’t, it was the age of terrifying stories of transporter ghosts like Cyrus Ramsey and Quinn Erickson, and 404 file not found errors. They were fucking with shit they barely comprehended. Hell, we wouldn’t have artificial gravity if it weren’t for a Slaver stasis box found on the moon. Let that sink in for a moment. We didn’t even design that shit, which we’ve just adapted and used for centuries. Did we come up with the transporter? We were technologically behind every other power in space when we first ventured out, but we were among the very first to beam people and things around? Hmmm.

Rumour has it Admiral Jonathan Archer was sterile due to overuse of transporters in the 2150’s. It’s a fact that his former weapons officer Malcolm Reed was unable to father children although no cause was officially given.

Maybe all the surviving insane starship captains should file a class-action suit against Starfleet.

#star trek #the original series #star trek movies #kirk #transporters #my fanfiction #fanfic #star trek fic

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 2 years

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10 Things I Hate About You

Summary: Jason Carver cannot date Chrissy until her anti-social sister, Y/N, has a boyfriend. So, Jason pays Eddie Munson to charm her.

Basically an Eddie Munson fic based on the movie 10 Things I Hate About You that nobody asked for.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: language,

Previous Chapter

Chapter 8-

Prom was not something Eddie Munson thought he'd ever go to.

Hell, this was his second attempt at Senior year and he hadn't gone to prom last year and he definitely never expected to find himself standing out the front of the High School gym in his uncles old suit ready for prom this year.

Gareth was standing beside him, also sporting a family hand-me-down suit that used to belong to his older brother. It was cheaper than renting out a suit for the night and definitely cheaper than buying one.

"I still can't believe Chrissy Cunningham is coming to prom with me, dude." Gareth said for about the hundredth time since Eddie had picked him up 10 minutes ago.

"You and me both." Eddie replied causing his friend to roll his eyes, but Eddie could tell he was nervous. "Relax, man. Chrissy is a nice chick."

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a packed of cigarettes, plucking one between his ringed ringers and fishing his lighter out. The second he had it lit, Gareth snatched the cigarette out his mouth and took in a deep drag before holding it out to him.

"I needed it to calm my nerves."

Eddie looked at him in amusement, "I'm afraid one puff of nicotine won't do much, man."

"Well, it's better than nothing and-"

Whatever Gareth was going to say got caught in his throat when the familiar rumble of the Dodge Challenge that they had gotten so used to hearing filled the air.

They both turned around to find the slick, black car pulling into the parking lot and Eddie couldn't stop himself from smirking at the faint sound of a heavy rock song coming from the inside of the car. He couldn't make out the lyrics, but knew it was good before the Challenger pulled up a few rows back in the closet parking spot and the engine shut off.

Chrissy was the first to step out and Gareth audibly gasped from beside him when he saw her, but Eddie was too focused on Y/N to even notice the other girl.

She was longer wearing tattered jeans or band shirts as she climbed out from behind the wheel.

The cigarette between his fingers fell to the ground, but he didn't care. All he could do was stare as she walked towards them in the most elegant dress he had ever seen.

Stunning.

That was the word he thought of the first day she stepped out the Challenger at school. The day her simple presence and daring aesthetic took him by storm. He knew the second he saw her that she was going to trouble.

All attitude and loud music. Ripped jeans and leather. She was unlike any girl he had ever met.

But, it was what's under all of that which caught him by surprise and lured him in.

She was stunning before the fancy dress and beautiful makeup. He liked her before any of that. He liked her before Jason paid him to take her out. He had liked her from the beginning. He always had.

Y/N laughed at something Chrissy said to her as the two of them crossed the carpark towards them. As she walked the fabric clung to her, hugging her curves in all the right places and Eddie found himself unable to look away.

"Wow." Y/N said, looking him up and down as the girls reached their side and Eddie found himself feeling a little self-conscious in his uncles suit. "You look good."

"You too. I mean you... you look really beautiful." He replied sincerely.

Y/N lowered her head a little, holding her arms in front of her and Eddie knew that was she was self-conscious as well. Although, he had absolutely no idea why because she was drop dead gorgeous, but he could tell she was nervous.

"Hey." He said, lifting her chin with his index finger forcing her to look him. "I'm serious. You look beautiful. Really beautiful."

That got a shy smile out of her which Eddie called a small victory, but he could still tell she wasn't exactly comfortable in the dress.

She always used to be covered with long jeans, shirts and never far without her leather jacket. But now... well, all she had was this dress and she was rocking it, but it wasn't much clothing.

"You look stunning, okay? Don't be nervous. But if you want my jacket, you can have it." He whispered, ready to take it off in a heartbeat if she needed it, but she shook her head.

"No, no. It's okay. I'm good." Y/N replied, giving him a reassuring smile. "But, uh, look, I'm really sorry I questioned your motives when you asked me to prom. I was wrong."

His stomach dropped at her words.

She was right to question his motives. He was a piece of shit who took money from Jason fucking Carver to take her to prom. But, he wanted to. Not the money part, no, he wanted to take her to prom before that. But, he still took the money and he has regretted it ever since, no matter how relieved Uncle Wayne had been when he gave him the couple hundred. He still felt like an asshole.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before answering.

"You are forgiven." He eventually said, a relieved smile washing over Y/N's face which just made him feel even worse.

She glanced over at Chrissy and Gareth who were both all smiles. "You guys ready to go in?"

They nodded before Y/N looked back over at him with a questioning look and he nodded too.

"Lead the way, Princess." He said, holding his elbow out which she quickly grabbed, linking their arms together before they walked towards the hall.

The hall was packed to the max. Your fellow students were all crowded around the dance floor in their fancy dresses and expensive suits, laughing and dancing together while music blasted through the speakers.

You and Eddie had managed to find a spot away from the horde of teenagers and were sitting down with a couple drinks and chatting, well, more like shouting above the music to each other.

"Hey! Have you guys seen Nancy or Robin anywhere?" Steve's voice suddenly called out.

You glanced over your shoulder to find the guy walking towards the two of you while balancing three glasses of soda in his hands.

"Afraid not, man." Eddie replied.

"Go and get drinks, they said. We'll be right here, they said." He mumbled to himself. "Yeah, no. Never doing this again, my hands are freezing holding onto these."

"Put the drinks down here. They'll show up once they get thirsty." You said, motioning towards the table in front of you and Eddie.

Steve nodded, carefully placing the glasses down and instantly rubbing his palms together trying to warm himself up.

"You two look good. Why aren't you out there dancing though?" Steve asked.

You shrugged your shoulders, "can't take our drinks out there unless we want to get covered in orange soda."

Eddie snorted softly, "Uncle Wayne would kill me if I stained this stupid suit."

"I could look after your drinks. I'm already watching the girls drinks anyway." Steve offered.

You glanced over at Eddie who met your gaze with raised eyebrows and you nodded before Eddie sprang out his chair.

"Milady." He said, holding his hand out towards you.

"Why thank you, good sir." You replied taking his hand, letting him help you to your feet before he led you over to the dance floor, shouting a quick 'thank you' to Steve over his shoulder.

You weaved your way through the sea of people before Eddie stopped and pulled you into his chest, his hand still holding yours while his other rested gently on your hip.

"I-I've never really done this before." You admitted, placing your hand on his shoulder.

"I've got you." He replied, pulling you closer before he began to sway to the rhythm of the music.

Chrissy and Gareth were a little further away, but you caught your sisters eyes through the crowd and she smiled brightly at you, having the time of her life while she danced with a very happy looking Gareth.

"This is nice." You whispered, resting your head against Eddie's chest.

Eddie didn't say anything in response to that, instead he kissed your forehead before leaning his chin down on top of your head, holding you close while swaying to the music. You closed your eyes wanting to savour the moment as you listened to the music through one ear and the gentle rhythm of Eddie's heartbeat through the other.

For the first time since you moved back to Hawkins, you felt yourself relaxing. Eddie's arms were warm and comforting and-

"What the hell are you doing with my girl?!"

The sound of Jason's voice snapped you out of it real quick. Eddie's body turned tense and you spun around out his arms to find Jason standing in front of Chrissy, Gareth now on the floor and it wasn't hard to figure out how he ended up down there.

"I asked him to prom." Chrissy hurriedly said, holding her hands up to try and calm him down. "We're not together anymore, Jason. I can go to prom with whoever I want to."

"What she said." Gareth grunted, pushing himself to his feet.

The crowd around them had stopped dancing, everyone watching on and waiting to see what would happen. But, you knew what was going to happen and you weren't going to let it.

"You messed with the wrong guy!" Jason shouted, glaring at Gareth. "Now you're going to pay. You and that little bitch-"

Your fist collided with the side of Jason's face, not letting him finish the insult to your sister. He stumbled back a step from the force of the hit, but was quick to react and you didn't stand a chance at the slap that followed.

Your head snapped to the side on impact, your cheek stinging.

Chrissy yelped from beside you in shock, but you just started to laugh as you turned back towards him.

"Really? You've seen my scars. Did you seriously think I couldn't take a hit?" You questioned in disbelief.

Jason opened his mouth to answer, but you didn't let him before your boot collided with his groin causing Jason to double over with a pained groan.

"Stay the fuck away from my sister, Carver."

Jason lifted his head, his body trembling with rage and his hand formed a fist by his side. Oh, this was going fun.

You stood up straighter, ready for a fight. But, before he could take a swing, Billy appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Jason's wrist, stopping him instantly.

Suddenly, Eddie stepped in front of you, putting himself between you and Jason protectively while Steve stood off to the side, warning Jason's friends not to intervene.

Jason's nose was bleeding now, your punch clearly doing some damage. Your knuckles were hurting and cheek was stinging, but seeing him like that was worth it.

"Let me fucking go!" He shouted, thrashing in Billy's grip, but Billy quickly tucked Jason's arm up behind his back and you knew Jason wasn't getting out of that restraint anytime soon. "I said, let me go, Hargrove. Now!"

"Nah, think it's better if I don't." Billy replied with a smirk, clearly enjoying this.

"He's only letting you go if you promise to leave. We're not going to let you hurt anyone else." Steve spoke up, now standing beside Eddie with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Say the word, Harrington and I'll throw his ass out." Billy said.

"Get him out of here." Eddie instructed.

Jason shook his head and glared at him, "you wouldn't even be at prom if not for me!"

Eddie's entire demeanour suddenly changed at those words, his posture turning ridged in front of you.

Gareth quickly looked over at you with an almost guilty expression causing you to frown in confusion before Eddie started talking.

"Jason-"

"You're going to kick me out of prom? Me? I was the one who paid you take out Y/N so I could go with Chrissy, but you let your little punkass friend steal her from me!"

It took a moment for Jason's words to actually register in your mind, but when they did, your entire world came to a screaming halt.

Jason had paid Eddie to take you to prom? He only asked you because he got paid to do it.

Eddie quickly spun around, his brown eyes wide and full of guilt and now Gareth's guilt made sense. He knew this bombshell was about to be dropped.

Everything between you and Eddie was a lie. It was all a fucking lie.

Eddie's mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water. He wanted to say something, but had no idea what to say which was fine because you didn't want to hear his lies.

"Nothing in it for you, huh?" You said, raising your eyebrows at him before you stormed off.

Tears burned in the back of your eyes as you shouldered your way through the crowd. Eddie and Chrissy were calling out to you, but you ignored them and rushed out the door. It was only once you were outside that you let the tears in your eyes finally fall while you marched to your car.

Chrissy would get a ride home with Gareth or someone. She would be fine, but you couldn't stay here. You had to get away.

"Y/N, wait!" Eddie's voice shouted.

You ignored him, pulling your car key out with now trembling hands and tried to insert it into the lock on the door, but you couldn't.

"Y/N, please. Let me explain."

You glanced over your shoulder to find him jogging towards you, but you didn't want to hear it.

"Explain, what? That you were paid to take me out?" You snapped, glaring at him through the tears.

"Y/N-"

"I opened myself up to you. I told you- I fucking told you about my dad and it-it was all a lie." You said, your voice breaking as a silent tear fell from your eye.

"No, no, it wasn't. Y/N it wasn't all a lie-"

"And to think I thought I was actually falling in love with you. Jokes on me right? Like I said, everyone either leaves, dies or disappoints. Should've listened to my own words."

"No, it wasn't like that." Eddie insisted desperately, but you weren't going to fall for that.

"Yes, it was! You were paid to take me to prom. By the one person I truly hate. I knew this was a set up!" You shouted, anger staring to take over.

The key in your hand finally turned in the lock and you quickly opened the car door, but Eddie blocked it.

"Y/N, it wasn't like that, okay?"

"Really? What was it like? A down payment now and bonus for sleeping with me?"

"No, I didn't care about the money! I cared about..." he started to shout before stopping himself, the fight leaving his body before adding softly, "I cared about you."

You stared at him for a moment before shaking your head.

"You are so not who I thought you were."

Eddie didn't try and fight when you reached for the door again, instead he stepped out the way allowing you to climb inside. You shoved the key in the ignition and bought the Challenger to life before you slammed the gear into reverse and pulled out of the parking spot.

You could feel Eddie's eyes on you, but you refused to look at him and sped off out the carpark. A fresh wave of tears started to rise in your eyes and you hastily wiped them away as you drove.

Next Chapter

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fanfiction

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