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villainousshakespeare · 1 year

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Therapy Fit for a God Chapter 24

Loki/OFC Rated E: Trigger Warnings: Smut, Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, talk of suicide, therapy, unhealthy family dynamics, mention of torture and mind control, touch starved, drinking

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23

Loki’s plans to conquer and rule Midgard have come to a disastrous end. After being captured by the Avengers, he is being held on Earth. Odin has refused to interfere, and the outlook for the God of Mischief appear bleak. His only hope may lie in one mortal woman, a Psychiatric expert brought in to interrogate him.

Dr. Caroline Thorpe is intrigued by Loki and thinks that more lies beneath his actions than is commonly known. Can she find out the truth before he is shipped off to die for crimes against the Earth? And can Loki bring himself to care?

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @yespolkadotkitty@maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere @ghostypau @ms-cellanies @colorfulfreakstudentpizza @mareebird @colorfulfreakstudentpizza @szycha22 @chokemedaddyloki @queenofallhobos @just-the-hiddles-reads @alwida10 @justjoanne242 @chantsdemarins @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokiprompts @evieplease

It had taken a satisfyingly short time to convince Thor and their mother that he was not going to be delayed in returning to Midgard. Friga had wanted to summon Eir and attempt to repair the sieve that they had made his memory. Thor had babbled some nonsense about danger if he set foot in the mortal's fortress. Loki had ignored them both with ease. The threat, made with just the right amount of intensity, that he would use his own weakened powers to access hidden paths to Earth were enough to have them both agreeing to bring him there themselves by a less strenuous route.

Loki didn't understand why they didn't just have the Gatekeeper open the Bifrost to the compound where this mortal woman was at present, but Thor was rather insistent that a stealthier course was called for. This was such an aberration from his brother's normal tendency to barrel in hammer first that both Loki and Frigga were quick to acquiesce, although their mother looked a little uneasy with the method it left to them.

"You do still have the Tesseract I assume, brother?" Thor had asked.

Another wave of sensation had rocked Loki, and he had to steady himself physically to avoid falling once again.

The Tesseract. Yes, the name filled him with something that was not quite comfort, but yet still offered a sense of relief. It was as if an escape card had been slipped into his pocket. It made sense; from what he knew of the Tesseract, container of the Space Stone, it could carry someone of sufficient mental strength to command it anywhere they wanted to go. One of the primal forces of creation, nothing he knew of would be able to stop it from taking him to Earth or anywhere else.

He had it?

Loki closed his eyes and mentally reached into his pocket dimension, paying much more attention than would usually be required in order to retrieve an item tucked away. He felt the auras of his usual items: knives, quills, paper, armor, anything he might need in his roamings, and dismissed them all. There were a few things he had not remembered adding, such as a rose-colored parka, some sort of projector, and a pair of sorcerous handcuffs. He would have to explore more later to see what else he had acquired in his missing days. There! in the midst of all the objects was a gently glowing blue cube that emitted a powerful aura.

Loki had pulled it out into the night air and held it aloft. How had he come to have one of the building blocks of the universe in his possession? It was yet another mystery to be solved. Right then however, he had been too concerned with the first problem. Who was this woman, this mortal of all things, who filled him with such a sense of need that he was willing to put his health at risk in order to find her and assure himself of her safety?

"Oh Loki, the Tesseract?" Frigga sighed in a voice he had been hearing his entire life.

"Apparently," he shrugged, tossing it up and catching it just for the effect. He couldn't have them realize how off his game he truly was after all.

"Give it to me, you are in no condition to use it."

"Mother -"

"Do not try to dissemble with me! You can barely stand on your own accord, how do propose to control an artifact of such power? More like than not you would end up on some random moon if you tried on your own. If you want to go, and must go now, then you will let me provide the guidance. End of discussion."

When it came right down to it, he had not been feeling at his best, and if there was any person he trusted to turn over such a weapon to it was his mother. Reluctantly he had handed the cube to Frigga and seen her breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thor, you know where this place is where Loki's friend is being kept?" Frigga asked in a brisk tone.

"I believe so," Thor answered. "My guess is that friend Stark should have been able to keep her in his rooms, rather than seeing her put into the prison."

"His rooms?" Loki growled, not liking the sound of that one bit, even though he had no idea who the person they spoke of was.

"A very large suite, Brother," Thor hastened to assure him. "Several rooms. In any event, you need not fear. He is only a little fellow, and a mortal, though fierce in battle."

"I fear nothing," he had said automatically, still not liking the situation Thor presented.

"Alright," Frigga had cut through their discussion. "Each of you place a hand on my shoulder, like when you were children. Thor, I am going to enter your mind; visualize where this woman would be for me. As much detail as you can. Loki, no over-extending yourself, but gently reach for me. That's it. Now, brace yourselves my sons."

The teleportation had taken more out of him than Loki cared to admit. Frigga's firm arm locked with his had been all that kept him steady as the terrace around them disappeared and reconfigured itself into some sort of sitting room filled with human furniture in silvers and grey. He was grateful for her discrete support and shot her a quick look of thanks while Thor shook off the trip like a pet emerging from a lake.

Too late he had reached for the Tesseract, only to see Frigga turn her wrist and remove it to her own impenetrable storage with a smile that dared him to protest. Well, that too would be a battle for another time. He had to find this person. This doctor. His heart screamed that everything else was second no matter how much his intellect told him otherwise. It was extremely irritating.

"Where is she?" he had demanded of Thor, looking around and not seeing anyone.

"Calm down Brother," the note of ill-concealed amusement in Thor's voice rankled to no end and made him itch for his knives. "I told you the suite was large. She should be here somewhere, assuming Pierce didn't kill her."

And then a dagger had been in his hand, and a snarl escaped his lips. If anyone had laid so much as a hand on her, he would make them long for an easy death.

"Loki, control yourself," Frigga had snapped at him. "And Thor, show some respect for your brother's feelings. I am sure that this Doctor Thorpe is safe and near. Ah, I think I hear voices coming from that direction. Thor, perhaps you should lead, since you are friends with the Mortal who's home we have invaded."

Loki had showed his opinion of that plan by roughly pushing past his brother and wrenching open the door out of the room. He could hear the voices then, though not what they were saying. One was low and masculine, the other had a bell like quality that went right to his heart. It was her. He would bet what remained of his soul on it. He had to see her. Once he did, everything would be right again.

Charging down the corridor, he had come at last to another room with couches, chairs, and a low table, artwork decorating the walls. He hadn't seen any of it. There, seated on one of the couches, had been Her.

He had known the minute his eyes clapped upon her. A relatively small woman, she was dressed in a grey sweatshirt several sizes too big for her that was rumpled and unflattering. Her hair, a mess of snarled curls, was tied up on the top of her head somewhat crookedly, several large chunks falling down at random. Deep, dark smudges shadowed her eyes, speaking of sleepless nights and tearful days.

Loki had never seen anyone more beautiful in his life.

He had stood in the doorway, transfixed by the sight of her eyes. They were red and watery, but that could not disguise the sharp intelligence and, even more breathtaking, the kindness that shone forth from them. Those eyes, he had thought in a brilliantly clear moment, could take all the sorrows in all the world and make them bearable. Compassion, acceptance, and humor glinted in their bottomless depth. He wanted it, all of it, for himself.

Which made the fact that at that very moment they were shining on someone else, someone who was clasping her hand and smiling back at her, absolutely unacceptable.

An intense haze of red colored all before him. Loki did not know who she was, but he knew with a certainty beyond anything else that it was his eyes she should be staring into, his hand that belonged in hers. He would kill this worm of a Mortal for daring to touch the match to his soul. Menacingly, his grip on his knife tightened.

"If you want to keep that hand," he spoke quietly from the doorway, "I suggest you remove it from my Lady's. Now."

***

That voice, low and filled with menace, was the most wonderful sound she had ever heard.

Caroline's eyes flew from Matt's face over to the entrance. He was there. Standing in the doorway to the sitting room was the only man she would ever love. For the first time in over a week, Caroline's heart seemed to beat once more.

"Loki," she said, his name and nothing more, rising to her feet.

"In all my glory," he smiled, eyes moving over her.

Caroline felt a momentary pang of embarrassment for how she must look. Since the horrible incident she had taken the bare minimum of interest in her personal appearance, only doing enough so that her friends would stop hounding her about it. As her eyes took in Loki, however, she forgot her own state as his registered in her mind.

Loki had always been thin, although Caroline knew firsthand how much lovely muscle was hiding beneath his clothing. Now though, his cheeks were hollower and the soft green tunic he wore seemed to drape loosely on his frame. His beautiful pale skin contained even less color than before if that were possible, and his sharp eyes betrayed the slightest hint of exhaustion.

She had spent quite a bit of quality time with her alien prince; Caroline knew how carefully he guarded his appearance. If he was showing visible signs of fatigue, then he must have been in a bad way indeed. He was alive yes, but he had been hurt, grievously, and it was all her fault.

"Loki, I am so sorry," she stuttered, taking a step but not daring to approach closer. "I swear, I never meant to hurt you."

An odd look flickered across his face, and she realized that his eyes, which had become open and shining when he looked at her during their time together, were guarded once more. Of course. How could she expect anything else? She had shot him, almost killing him. Their relationship could not be the same.

"Doctor Caroline! You are here!" Thor bounded up to stand next to his brother. "You see Loki, I told you she would not be killed or incarcerated."

"I am relieved to see that you were right for once," Loki's eyes had still not left her face.

"Pierce tried, by Tony insisted on keeping me here," she said, wishing he would open his arms for her but not wanting to presume. "I guess for once the rich having undue influence worked in my favor."

"Ah, well I suppose I owe you thanks then," Loki's voice did not sound particularly friendly.

To her surprise, she found that his eyes turned away from her to gaze improbably to Matt with an open hostility.

"No, Brother, that is not friend Stark," Thor whispered loudly in Loki's ear. "I know it is difficult, as most Midgardian males look the same, particularly the smaller ones. I myself have made similar mistakes in the past."

"Matt Murdock, attorney," Matt said, extending his hand.

Thor shook Matt's hand with enthusiasm, but Loki only looked at it. Matt waited a moment, and then pulled it back with a shrug.

"I take it you are the Asgardians," he said.

"Oh, yes. Matt, this is Loki and Thor. Princes of Asgard," she didn't know what Loki's feelings were for his family at the moment, but he and Thor seemed to be forming a united front.

"Although they are not acting like it at the moment," a female voice dripping with disapproval added.

Caroline tore her eyes away from Loki with an effort to see a tall woman come up to stand beside him. To call her beautiful would be an understatement. Tall and regal with intricately styled red-gold hair, the woman personified grace. Caroline at once felt even more bedraggled in comparison.

"Forgive us, Mother," Thor lowered his head, but Loki kept his green eyes flickering between Caroline and Matt.

Mother. This was Frigga, Loki's mother and Goddess in her own right. Of all the times to be introduced to her, Caroline could not think of a worse one. Not only did she look like a street urchin, but she had committed an act of violence on the other woman's son.

"Your Majesty," she said, dipping her head since there was no way she was going to try a curtsey.

"Ah, so you are Doctor Thorpe," Frigga said, giving Caroline a quick once over that she was sure saw every inch of her.

"I am."

"My son has been anxious to see you. I am pleased to make the acquaintance of one so dear to him, although I could wish the circumstances were different."

"I'm honored."

"You are honored, she is pleased," Loki drawled, looking around the room. "Now that we are done with that, all of the rest of you to go away."

"Loki!" Frigga chastised.

"Very well," Loki said with a melodramatic sigh. "I would very much like for everyone to kindly leave Caroline and I alone. Now. Better?"

"Barely," his mother allowed. "Very well. We will wait in the next room."

Frigga turned and departed with an encouragingly smiling Thor. Matt began to follow, but stopped at the last minute, putting one hand on Caroline's shoulder and looking disconcertingly straight at her.

"You'll be okay?" he asked her.

"Far more than you will be if you keep insisting on touching what you shouldn't," Loki said dangerously.

"I'll be fine," she lied, thinking she was like to combust on the spot.

"I'll be right next door," Matt ignored him. "My hearing is excellent, so just yell if you need me. Loki, it's been educational."

With an ironic twist of his expressive lips, Murdock followed the Asgardian contingent out. Caroline noticed the way Loki's glare tracked him, and she felt a horrible surge of excitement. Surely if he was that unhappy with Matt's attention to her he couldn't have completely written her off.

The door shut, and they were alone. Caroline stared at Loki in exquisite torture as he remained silent. She had hoped and wished for nothing more than to see him again, alive and well. No matter what happened, she would be forever grateful that he had survived the blast she had shot him with. Still, it was hell to be so close to him and not touch him, not assure for herself that he was real and there and whole.

Finally, when she thought she might explode, Loki walked the few short steps and stood looming over her. One of his long, elegant fingers traced the side of her face, and Caroline let out a trembling sigh at the contact. His eyes, hooded and revealing nothing, captured hers and seemed to bore deep inside her soul, looking for something. She would have happily given him anything in that moment, if he had only named. it.

"My love," he said at last.

Just those two words, but Caroline let out a sob nonetheless, throwing herself into him and tightly wrapping her arms around him. Loki smiled, lifting her chin and claiming her mouth for a long, desperately needed kiss that nourished her more than any meal could ever do. He did not hurry, letting his hands explore her body as his tongue did the same to her mouth. It was searching, like his gave had been, giving her the chance to relearn how it felt to be in his embrace. When he finally pulled away, it was to sink down onto the sofa, bringing her down next to him. She felt at home and safe at last after the nightmare of the past days.

"So, you are Caroline," he mused, looking at her. "I am relieved to know what good taste I have."

As she stared at him in shock, Loki burst into manic laughter.

#Loki fic #fan fiction #Loki/ofc #romance #memory loss #post Avengers Assemble #Loki gets therapy #love #angst #smut in previous chapters #Thor #Frigga #Matt Murdock #snarky Loki #Loki has issues #Tesseract #reunion #the course of true love

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villainousshakespeare · 1 year

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Therapy Fit for a God Chapter 23

Therapy Fit for a God Chapter 22

Loki/OFC Rated E: Trigger Warnings: Smut, Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, talk of suicide, therapy, unhealthy family dynamics, mention of torture and mind control, touch starved, drinking

"Loki! Loki, look at me brother!"

Loki did his best to follow Thor's instructions, but his eyes could barely focus as he raised them to his brother's face. It felt as though all of the emotions in the multiverse were screaming inside Loki's head, pushing for a way out of the confinement of his skull. If his head had burst open and rained chaos on the world, Loki would not have been surprised to see it.

"You do not look well," Thor said with dramatic understatement. "I should go get Mother."

"No!" Loki pulled all of his internal strength together to control the riot of feeling overwhelming him. "Not yet. Tell me."

"Tell you what?" Thor asked, face a mask of panic as he struggled to make sense of his brother's brusque demands.

"Everything," Loki rasped. "How long."

"Since you were brought back?"

Loki shuddered as he tried to come up with a reset moment. He remembered preparing for Thor's coronation. He had thought himself a tangle of feeling then, although it could not compare to this moment.

He had been honestly proud of Thor, his brave older brother looking every inch a hero in his new armor and helm. At the same time, he seemed to be the only one aware of how unprepared Thor was for the responsibility about to be thrust at him. Odin was a great war chief and wise ruler, but he when it came to passing on those skills, he had fallen somewhat flat. After all, when all of your edicts are obeyed as a matter of law, why would you expect that lessons bellowed at your sons would not also be instantly absorbed and made into action?

Loki could tell that Thor had not seen the deeper meaning behind Odin's stories of their history. He saw only the glory of victory, not the cost that those victories levied. When Loki attempted to point out these truths to Thor, his brother accused him of cowardice. When he intimated to Odin that Thor was missing the larger picture, he was accused of envy that the crown would not pass to him, that or trite hopes that the weight of ruling would mature his rash brother. As usual, no one took his concerns seriously.

Which led to another emotion - frustration. Why was it always Thor who was advanced, when Loki was the one who saw, who heard, and understood? What was his great flaw that despite his greater apprehension he was forever second best to Thor?

"Since your coronation," he said, deciding it was as good a starting point as ever.

"There was no coronation Loki, you know that," Thor sounded put out by the subject, but Loki couldn't let it go.

"I remember. You entered to great fanfare."

"And do you remember the Jotuns?" Thor demanded. "The Frost Giants that you let in to ruin the day for me?"

A new wave of feeling surged inside him at the mention of their ancient enemies. Loki slid off the bench onto the floor, eyes welling up with unshed tears. Why? Had something happened at the ceremony? He did vaguely remember a plot to postpone the coronation now, only so that Odin would watch Thor spin out of control and perhaps delay for a few decades.

"Loki, you truly seem unwell. I think we need to get you to mother. These unpleasant memories of your breakdown are not helping either of us."

Breakdown? Was that why he had been in the infirmary? Had Loki been so envious of his brother that he had slipped into madness? That would explain why Sif and Fandral had acted so strangely around him, but Loki was sure there was more. After all, he had suffered humiliation and envy his entire life; why should one more instance be of such great matter?

"You said... mortal Doctor?"

It was the last thing he could remember Thor saying before the deluge had begun. As he brought it up now, new emotions rose to the surface, crowding out the pain. Joy, acceptance, fear, and love. He did not know why, but it was as though a healing balm soothed the raw nerve that was his inner self.

"Loki, something is not right."

Well, obviously! Any number of things were not right. But the mortal, this Doctor he was reaching for a memory of. Loki had the feeling that she was more than alright. She might just be the key to everything.

"Thor, you're back!"

"Mother! Thank all the realms! Come quick."

Out of the corner of his eye, Loki saw the dim shape of Friga sprint onto the terrace, and then she was dropping neatly to the ground beside him.

"Loki! What are you doing out of bed?"

A cool hand was pressed to his forehead, but Loki shied back from it. He did not know what had happened to him, but the fear that these barely remembered feelings might be taken from him again caused him to instinctively recoil.

"No!" he gasped. "I need them!"

"Thor, what happened? What did you say?" their mother turned to her elder son anxiety obvious even through the miasma of Loki's haze.

"Nothing! I told him I was glad to see him looking better," Thor replied defensively. "And he was, until a moment ago!"

"Did you bring up anything about his accident? Or the time he was away? Anything that might have upset him?"

"Upset him, no! I even defended him against Sif and Fandral when they wanted to hold the Midgard nonsense against him!"

"They talked to him about Midgard? What did they say?"

"I don't know exactly I only caught the end of it. You know, just about the invasion, the Chitari, oh! And the Destroyer from before his time in the Void."

The Void! The word chilled him as deeply as Thor's mention of a Doctor had warmed. He had known a Void. Had hoped and dreaded it all at once.

"Loki, listen to me," Frigga was kneeling beside him again. "You have been through a great ordeal. A few days ago, you were almost killed by a blast from a solar phaser. It tried to rewrite all of your atoms into something not able to live. If you had been anyone else, you would not have survived. It was only because of your own fluid nature, that you made it through at all."

"Sounds wonderful," he managed to almost joke.

"You needed all of your strength to live," she continued, ignoring his interjection. "All of your energy to rebuild the pathways of your mind and body. We couldn't have you struggling. We definitely couldn't have you trying to work against us."

It made sense. He had studied for a time with Eir, and he knew that will was just as important in these matters as physical metal.

"There are... some things that happened to you," she went on, choosing her words with obvious care. "Unpleasant things, to put it mildly. You went through a very dark ordeal, my precious son. I am only partially aware of what was done to you, and it is almost more than I can bear. If I had the power, I would hunt down the ones who hurt you and make them pay and pay and pay again."

Friga was not often blood thirsty. If she was so open to revenge now, it must have indeed been a horrible fate he was subjected to.

"In order to allow you time to heal, Eir and I went into your mind. We built a wall between you and the memories of torture. It was our hope that when your body had mended, we could lower the blockade slowly, and allow you some memory of the hell you went through but alleviated by our combined magic. I had not expected you to rise so quickly from your sick bed. I'm afraid the mention of the pain it before we could prepare you has brought it all back at once."

"But it was not mention of Midgard that did this to him," Thor said hastily, sounding for the world like a guilty child.

"Then what?" Friga asked.

"It was when I brought up the woman. Caroline. The one who is in love with him."

"In love with me?" Loki gasped.

Thor had mentioned before that he was courting this mysterious woman, and that Loki claimed to love her. He had also said that she had shot him. That all had seemed to match Loki's expectations when it came to romance. He was not without occasional dalliances, he was a prince after all, but at the end of the day no one was in love with him. Certainly not someone he loved in return. But Thor said this woman... Caroline, a lovely name... was in love with him. So why was she not here, and why had she shot him?

"The woman who shot him?" Friga asked, clearly as surprised as Loki.

"Yes," Thor nodded. "Didn't I tell you that part?"

"It appears to have slipped your mind," she said tartly.

"She and Loki formed an attachment. Friend Stark and I found them hiding after she broke him out of prison. At first, I thought he had kidnapped and enchanted her..."

"Thor!" their mother admonished.

"Well, she was tied up," Thor explained. "But in truth she had fallen in love with him. She is quite lovely, and smart as well. For a mortal."

"Oh, Loki, if only I had known!" Friga exclaimed. "When we cleared your mind of the torture, we must have cleared it of this woman as well."

"Caroline," he said, barely hearing his mother.

A hazy image began to form in his brain. A mass of untidy hair. Kind, keen eyes. A smile that formed at the most odd moments. Loki felt his heart begin to beat a rapid pace. Yet, despite his accelerated heartrate, the roiling pain of negative emotions began to ease even more. The warmth her name inspired spread through Loki, allowing him to breath.

"If what you say is true, where is she?" Friga demaned.

"I don't know," Thor confessed. "I was too concerned with Loki. He was so weak."

Loki winced at the description, but he could tell there was honest fear in his brother's voice, so he let it go.

"I thought only to get him back to Asgard," Thor continued. "I suppose Dr. Caroline would have been taken into SHIELD custody. It would have been easy enough once we had taken the Mind Stone away. In any case, she collapsed herself when Loki dove in front of the gun."

"Why would I do that?" Loki asked, of himself as much as of his brother.

"I have been wondering that myself," Thor said with a shrug.

"Oh Loki," Friga looked at him with compassion in her eyes he did not quite understand. "You do love her."

"Yes," he said slowly, not knowing who she was or what had passed between them, and yet somehow absolutely certain that his mother was right. "Yes, I do."

***

"So, this former patient that Stark was talking about - that was the alien who invaded Manhattan?"

"It was more complicated than that, but yes. Loki," Caroline tried to keep her voice steady as she said his name.

"Excuse me for being blunt, but he's not the best advertisement for sanity."

"I can see why you would think that Mr. Murdock."

Caroline could not blame the man for his skepticism. Even without being able to see her haggard appearance, she knew she presented a far from put together presence. And as much as she loved Loki and understood the reasons for his actions, he had come across as a bit unhinged during the whole invasion.

"Matthew is fine," he told her with a lopsided smile that was somehow boyish. "I've never really talked to a therapist before."

"More a go it alone type?" she asked half-heartedly.

"I guess. Although as Stark pointed out, I do talk to my priest on occasion."

"That wasn't just hyperbole?" her attention was actually drawn for a moment.

"You sound surprised."

"I guess I just don't know a lot of people who actively practice religion. The enhanced individuals I've been working with lately tend to not believe in any higher power than themselves."

"Well, in all fairness your last patient called himself a God."

Caroline tried to hide the wince at the comment. It hurt to talk about Loki as though he were just another client. He had come to be so much more than that to her.

"I don't mean to over-step, but it seems like maybe you need to talk to someone more than I do, Dr. Thorpe."

"Do you moonlight as a priest, Mr. Murdock?" she tried for humor and felt it fall flat.

"Matt. And no, my calling was in a different direction. But circumstances have turned me into a pretty good listener."

"Thanks, but I've been self-indulgent enough these past days," she replied, ignoring his attempted at self-depreciating humor. "I don't need to bore you with my drama."

"Somehow I doubt a relationship with an alien demi-god who tried to crown himself king of New York would be boring."

"No, no it was not. Loki was a lot of things, but boring was never one of them."

"Was a lot of things? Past tense?" he was quick, this lawyer.

"That's the million dollar question. You see, I shot him."

"Shot him? With a gun?"

"A ray gun... sort of. Alien tech."

"Is he alright?"

"I don't know. Thor - his brother - took him back to their planet to heal him. That was over a week ago, and there has been no word since."

"But he was alive when you saw him last?"

"Barely," the image of Loki, breath shallow and unconscious, swam in her suddenly tear-filled eyes. "I didn't mean to shoot him. I was aiming for someone else. Someone who deserved to die. Loki dove in front and took the shot himself."

"Maybe he didn't share your opinion of the intended target."

"Oh, he did," Caroline laughed darkly. "Loki would have happily killed the man himself. I had to make him promise me he wouldn't before we came in fact."

"I don't understand. If you didn't want the man killed, then why -"

"Did I try to shoot him?" she asked. "I know this will sound impossible..."

"Dr. Thorpe, I'm a blind lawyer who fights mystic ninjas in my spare time. Believe me when I tell you very little sounds impossible to me."

Well, when he put it that way...

"I was being mind controlled by a magic rock from outer space."

"Okay, I can see how you might think that could sound unlikely," the half grin was back, but there was a kindness to it that let her know he was not laughing at her but attempting to laugh with her.

"Unlikely, but true. It was what was being used to control Loki during his invasion. We were working, along with Tony and Thor, to contain it and remove it from Earth. Unfortunately, I wasn't strong enough to resist it. Before I knew what I was doing, I was pointing the gun at Secretary Pierce and pulling the trigger."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you said this... rock... was strong enough to control Loki himself?" Matt was leaning forward in concentration.

"Yes," she conceded.

"And he is some sort of magical demi-god himself. So, it doesn't seem like it should be surprising that you would be unable to resist it. Maybe you need to be a little less hard on yourself."

"I shot the man I love."

"No, you didn't," he objected, raising his hand when she tried to argue back. "You shot a man you despised. Secretary Pierce. At least, I assume you despise him since you said he deserved to die. We'll come back to that in a minute. But you shot Pierce. That was your action. It was Loki's action to keep to your shot from hitting its intended target."

"If I hadn't fired, he would still be here."

"You don't know that. None of us can know what might have been. Maybe you would have killed Pierce and soldiers would have burst in and shot you all. You can't ever be sure. All you can be sure of is what did happen. Loki kept you from doing something you could never take back. His love for you was strong enough to spare you the guilt that would have followed you around for the rest of your life."

"How do you know it would have?" she challenged.

"Because you are a good person. I may not know you well, but even brief acquaintance with you is enough to see that. Vengeance isn't ours, Dr. Thorpe. We don't get to decide who lives and who dies. I've watched making that decision consume otherwise good people, until they become a shell of themselves. My guess is your Loki has seen the same thing. You didn't shoot him, he saved you. Don't take that choice, that action away from him."

As Murdock spoke the last words, Caroline felt them strike something within her. All his life, people had taken Loki's choices from him. His parents not telling him his true parentage, Thor's friends refusing to see how his rule played out before turning against him, Thanos torturing him until he could bend Loki's will to his own. Over and over, he had been robbed of his agency. Was she doing that now as well?

"You've given me a lot to think about," she admitted.

"I'm a really good lawyer," he grinned again. "I know how to make an argument."

"Remind me to get your card before you go," she smiled weakly. "I might need a good defense attorney before this whole thing plays out."

"It would be my pleasure, Dr. Thorpe," he said, placing a comforting hand over hers.

"If you want to keep that hand," a deceptively quiet voice spoke from the doorway, "I suggest you remove it from my Lady's. Now."

I’ve never written for Matt before, so hope I have his voice right! Thank you all who are still here!

#Loki #Loki fic #Loki/OFC #fanfic #romance #angst #love #true love #memory loss #Loki needs a hug #Loki gets therapy #post Avengers Assemble #Thor #Matt Murdock #Daredevil #mention of torture #past trauma #working through issues #heroes need hugs

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