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jpmarvel90 · 4 months

Text

Don't Belong pt 1

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Word Count: 8392

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: Y/n is the adopted daughter of Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff. However, when science enables her mother's to have twin boys who are biogloically both of their's, her relationship slowly changes. At 17 she's ready to move out and move on, is it too late for her moms to fix things?

Y/n's POV:

When I was 6, my life was saved by none other than the Black Widow. She came in like the hero she is and saved me from the hell that was Hydra. Whilst helping me to acclimatise to normal life, we grew close, and she was a mother figure I never had. I was so shocked when she told me that she wanted to adopt me.

It was everything that I could ever ask for. She was an amazing mom. Caring, loving and always there for me. She had this soft side that not many people got to see. To the world, and a lot of the team, she had this tough, steely exterior. But I never saw that. Not from the moment she found me. I always felt safe and loved around her.

A couple of years later, Wanda joined the team and soon enough, Mama fell in love. I never saw mama so happy. They had the perfect relationship and Wanda took me on without a second thought. When I was 9, she adopted me, and I had two loving parents.

We had quite a domestic life. Tony built us a separate suite at the compound so we could still be close by for when they were needed for missions. I loved having parents that were heroes. I was so proud of them. I ended up spending quite a bit of time with Pepper when they were on missions together, but when they came home, they always had a couple of days off to spend time with me to make up for being away. It was great.

Watching them make a difference in the world, was the reason I joined the SHIELD Young Initiative Programme. I wanted to be just like my moms. Steve became a huge support to me, and alongside him and mama, I was acing all my practicals and exams.

But before that, when I was 11, our family grew. With the help of Bruce and Tony, Mom got pregnant with twins, both biologically hers and mamas. Billy and Tommy made our family complete.

As soon as Mom got pregnant, Mama told Fury that she wouldn't be going on missions once mom got into her third trimester and that after the birth they both would be taking maternity leave. She also told him that they would only ever be sent on a mission together if it was to save the world. Otherwise, under no circumstances were they to go together. They wanted to be around for the twins as much as possible and didn't want them left on their own if they had to go on missions together.

For the first couple of years, everything was perfect. But when they became toddlers, they were a bit of a handful. It meant that mom's focus went to them and slowly I became less of a priority for them.

I found it hard as I was coming into my teenage years, and I felt like I needed my moms more than ever. But I understood at the start. I was old enough that I could look after myself and the twins needed more. But it got harder when every time I tried to talk to one of them, I was brushed off, or told to speak to them later. But later never came.

Once I hit 13, I was their personal babysitter whenever they needed it. Mama told me how they were trying to make sure that her and mom still had quality time together, so had a date night or day each week. Seems they forgot about quality time with their daughter. It got to the point I was expected to drop everything to be there for my brothers. Picking them up at school, taking them to soccer. It didn't matter what I had planned, I was expected to do my job for the family. I did it without complaining, because I thought if I could prove that I was a good sister, maybe they would start to acknowledge me more.

To try and prove myself worthy, I worked even harder for SHIELD. However, now I lost mama as my training partner. She was too busy with work or the twins to help me train. It hurt when she told me that but, thankfully, Steve stepped up more than he had. He became like a father to me. I could confide in him when my moms didn't have time. Though there were still things that I couldn't talk to him about.

Now I'm 17, working towards graduating the youth programme and into SHEILD as an official agent. We have our final exams coming up and I'm doing everything I can to be ready for them. The top two initiates will get fast tracked through the system and be able to go on missions sooner.

I want nothing more than getting that chance. I need to start making a name for myself and to stop being under my mothers' shadow. Once I wanted to be just like them, to make them proud. But now I know that's not possible. They have their perfect biological family. I was just the stray they took pity on.

"You know, you could take it easy today. You're more than capable of passing these exams even on a bad day. You'll be finishing top of the class and joining us for missions in no time." Steve tells me as he holds the punch bag for me. "I just want to be on top of my game." I tell him, hitting the bag as precisely as I could.

"Have you told your moms about the date for your final practical. I'm sure they'll want to be around when you get home." He asks, making me falter with my hits. "I did, but I don't think they were listening. Although they seemed to acknowledge it, Billy was showing them his Lego at the time." I share with him.

Steve knows what's been happening with my moms and the only reason he hasn't done anything is because I made him promise not to. All I need to do is graduate and then I can get moved into the SHIELD facility and start a new life without being a burden on my family.

"You know, you should talk to them. I know you've tried, but really sit them down and tell them how you're feeling." He tries once again. "It's been years now. If they really cared for me, they would notice that they barely see me anymore. I don't even remember the last time they said I love you." I respond, my hits getting harder.

"Ok, I'm calling this. You'll hurt yourself and then you won't even be able to complete your exams." Steve tells me, stepping between me and the bag. I sigh but know he's right. "Just try for me ok. Maybe after your exams. They'll be so proud of you." He pleads. "Ok, fine." I agree. "Now go shower kiddo. You stink!" He teases me before dodging a punch I try to land on his arm.

I smile as I head up to my room. As I walk into our apartment, I see the happy family sat together watching TV. "Hi moms." I call out when I enter. They don't even turn around, so I call out again, only to get the same response. I decide to go and join them but as soon as I sit down, I'm scolded by mom. "Y/n do you have to come in here like that. Go and shower will you." She tells me off. I look to mama who doesn't even glance in my direction. "Sorry, I was training for my final exam." I explain but once again, nothing. I let out a small humourless chuckle to myself as I leave the living room. Every day, I feel more and more like I don't belong here anymore.

__________

I did it! I actually passed! Not only did I pass, I topped the class. I think I even saw Fury smile. I'm so happy, nothing can burst my bubble right now. As a class, we all decide that we're going to celebrate tonight. We've been a tight group and it'll be nice to actually spend time together without having to study or practice.

I practically run back to the compound, smiling ear to ear. "Someone's happy." Steve calls out to me as I rush through the kitchen. "Someone might be your partner one day!" I call out as I keep on towards my destination of finding my parents. "Can't wait kiddo. Well done! Knew you could do it!" Steve shouts after me.

"Y/n, don't run!" Mama scolds me as I find them in the living room. "Sorry, but I have to tell you something that I know you'll want to hear." I apologise with a smile on my face. "Not now Y/n. We're about to head out. The boys just need dinner and don't let them stay up late." She tells me. That's when I notice that she's dressed up in her best jacket.

"I can't look after the twins tonight. Our class are going to celebrate." I explain, hoping she might ask why we're celebrating. But that would be wishful thinking. "Time with your friends can wait Y/n." She tells me without even looking up at me, too focused on her phone. "Can't one of the others watch them. Just for tonight. I've never asked before. But just this once. Please." I practically beg, but to no use. "Stop being selfish and just watch the boys." She snaps, making a lump form in my throat.

"Fine." I mumble, leaving the room and head out of our apartment. "Where are you going?" She calls after me. "To see Steve. Don't worry, I'll be back to watch your precious boys." I talk back whilst leaving, hearing her call after me.

I make my way to find Steve. I know he'll be excited with my results. I wipe at my eyes for the few traitorous tears that fell. "So, I hear someone will be an Avenger in no time." Tony says as I walk into the kitchen. "I think I'll stick with SHIELD." I respond. I have no desire to be a full time Avenger. I'll be around to see my moms live their perfect life without me.

"I'm proud of you kiddo." Steve smiles at me, pulling me into a hug. "Thanks, old man. I couldn't have done it without you." I tell him truthfully, squeezing him tighter. "Your mom's must be proud. Especially Nat. Now's the time for celebrating." Pepper says. "Oh, I'm babysitting the boys tonight." I respond, trying to hide my disappointment. I notice that all others share a look.

They have all noticed how my relationship has changed with my moms, but thankfully, never brought it up. "We could watch them. Let you go out with your class. I know how much you've been looking forward to it." Pepper offers kindly. "Thanks, but mama said it had to be me." I reply. "Sorry kiddo." Steve says, wrapping his arms around me. "It's ok. I better go back before I get into trouble. I just wanted to tell you all about the results." I tell them.

"Of course Y/n. We're so proud of you. I can't wait to work with you." Tony pats me on the shoulder, whilst the others all give me a hug. "We'll do something together tomorrow." Steve promises and I nod. "I'd like that." I reply, taking a deep breath before heading back home.

When I get back to the apartment, both mom and mama are waiting to go. "Good, you're back. We'll be home late." Mom tells me, turning to leave. "And we'll talk about your attitude in the morning." Mama adds on with a stern look before turning to leave. "I love you." I call out after them. No response. My head drops. I really have just become the live in nanny.

_________

The next day, I didn't have to face my moms in the morning. They had taken the boys to the park and out for breakfast. I didn't even get an invite. But thankfully, Steve is taking me for dinner tonight to celebrate the passing of my exams and my imminent graduation.

He's taken me to my favourite Italian restaurant. It's nice to have this time. Steve really has been the only parent I've had recently. I'm so grateful for him. "So your moms don't know?" Steve asks as I tell him that I've been told I can move into SHIELD accommodation in a few days. "I've tried, but as usual, I barely have a conversation with them anymore. They probably wouldn't even notice that I've gone." I admit the painful truth. "Do you think they even still love me?" I ask the question that has been haunting me for a long time now.

Steve looks at me with a sympathetic look. He reaches out and takes my hand. "Oh Y/n. I'm sure they do. They just got lost in the boys and have forgot, that even though you're a teenager, you still need them." He tries to defend them. "If you say so." I mumble, not believing him.

"Well, I have something that might cheer you up." Steve says, changing the subject. "Oh yeah, and what might that be Captain?" I ask with a smirk, making him roll his eyes. "I spoke with Fury, and he already has a mission for you. It's nothing too big, a simple in and out to get some data." Steve explains, making a smile grow on my face. "Really? Me on a mission already?" I question and he nods. "Fury would have had you on them earlier. You've been the best recruit the programme has seen. But he had to follow protocol. There is one downside though." He shares. "Oh God, don't tell me it's with my mother?" I ask making him laugh. "No, just this old man." He responds. "Really? I'm going with you?" I ask excitedly. "Yeah, you don't need me. But I wanted to see you in action on your first mission. I really am proud of you kiddo. I'm glad that I've had a front row seat to seeing you become the woman you have." He expresses honestly, taking me off guard.

The rest of dinner is lovely, and I have a really nice time. It's nice to actually have someone care about your achievements. However, that happiness soon disappears when I enter the apartment to two angry moms. "Where do you think you've been? You've not been answering your phone." Mama yells at me. I reach into my pocket and see that my phone is dead.

"Sorry, my cell died." I tell her, but that doesn't help. "So, are you going to share where you were without telling us? It's 10pm Y/n!" Mom now joins in. "I was having dinner with Steve." I share. "Until this late. Why would you be going out for dinner on a school night? Why didn't he ask us first?" Mama questions me.

"We went out to celebrate when I missed going with my class. And it's not a school night. The programme has finished now." I tell them, trying to keep my cool. "Is this about that party you couldn't go to last night?" Mom asks. "No, actually, it was having someone to celebrate with that I finished top of my class and am now officially a SHIELD agent!" I snap back, taking them both by surprise.

"You've had your final exams already?" Mom asks, stepping closer but I pull away. "Yeah, I have told you on a number of occasions. But apparently you don't listen to me anymore." I admit, feeling tears building. "You finished top?" Mama says proudly, but I just scoff. Her pride is too late. "Like you even care." I growl. "Don't talk to your mother like that." Mom tells me off.

"Like what? You haven't given me the time of day in years. Why do you suddenly care that I was out late. Was I not around to be your personal babysitter? Or were you just annoyed I wasn't there for the one time you noticed I wasn't around." I call them both out taking them by surprise.

"Y/n it was one night." Mom tries to deny more calmly. "No, it wasn't. It's always the twins this, the twins that. I have to make allowances for them in my life and stop what I'm doing to be there to babysit them. When was the last time that you spent any time with me? When did you last tell me you love me or even acknowledge me?" I shout, tears falling down my cheeks, as my parents stand staring at me in shock.

"I have worked my ass off with SHIELD so I can get in and earn my spot with them. Where I can have my own place and start a life for myself. Because I clearly haven't been a part of this family for a long time." I share how I've been feeling. I notice that both their eyes tear up. "Oh Y/n, sweetheart, that's not the case. Of course you belong." Mama tries to argue, moving closer with a shaky hand out in front of her. I don't reach out. In fact, I move away. "Well neither of your actions have shown it in the last few years." I point out, making mom cry harder. "Look it's fine. I get it. I'm not your biological child. Billy and Tommy are. I'll always be grateful for you saving me from Hydra, but you've got your family now. Don't worry, I'll be gone in a couple of days." I say sadly before heading to my room, my moms frozen in shock in their spot.

I slam the door shut behind me, locking it and falling onto my bed. I bury my head into the pillow and sob. All the emotions I've been bottling up come out. My whole body wracks with each sob as I realise, it's official. I really have lost my family now.

Nat's POV:

I feel the tears slowly falling down my cheeks as I realise that my daughter stood before me as a broken girl who thinks her moms don't love her anymore. By the time I come to my senses, Y/n is already gone, and I'm left facing my wife who is sobbing. "Have we really been putting the boys first so much she thinks that we don't want her anymore?" I say at a whisper, my voice getting caught in my throat.

"It's my fault. Things changed when I came into the picture, and we started trying for our own babies. We didn't even consider how that must have made her feel. We didn't even reassure her that we would still love her just as much, regardless of if the boys were ours biologically or not." Wanda responds.

I quickly move forward and wrap my arms around her. "It's not your fault my love. We both wanted that. Our lives are significantly better with you in them Wanda. But you're right. We should have tried harder to make sure we involved Y/n and showed her will still love her." I comfort her.

I can't believe that I've let Y/n get to this point. The day I found her in that cell, she changed my life for the better. She not only made me a mother, but she made me more human. She made me see there was more than being an Avenger. She is the reason that I who I am today. Yet I've neglected her. I got so focused on the twins that I didn't even notice how little I have seen Y/n.

"We should go and talk to her." I suggest whilst Wanda still clings to me. "She was angry. We should give her some space. Let's take her for breakfast in the morning. I'll ask Pepper to watch the boys and we can start to make this right." She counters. "But..." I start, not wanting to leave this longer than we have to. "This is our daughter we're talking about. She has your temper." Wanda tearily chuckles. "Hey!" I poorly defend. She's right though. She might not be biologically mine, but she is my mini me.

That night I don't sleep. All I can think of is every time that I blew Y/n off and decided to spend time with the twins instead. When did we stop doing things as a family? I try and think of the last time I trained with her or helped her prepare for her exams. God, how did I not even know she was taking them this week?! "Your thoughts are loud Detka." Wanda mumbles sleepily as she turns over to look at me. When she sees the distress on my face, she gives me a sympathetic smile. "She has worked so hard, and we didn't even know she was completing her final exams. She told us yet neither of us remembered or even heard her apparently. We are awful moms!" I sigh.

Wanda moves and pulls me into her embrace. "I know. I feel awful too. I'm so proud of her though. She finished top. She's just like you." She shares. "She's moving out." I realise whilst Wanda just looks at me confused. "What do you mean?" She questions. "She said she would be gone in a few days. She must have been assigned a room at SHIELD. Our little girl was ready to leave the nest and we didn't even know." I respond, another wave of sadness washing over me.

"We'll talk to her and make her see that she is still very much wanted here. If she still wants to move out that's fine, but she has to know that we love her and always have. We can't change the past but we sure as hell can make sure we change the future and how see feels." She says determined.

Neither of us really sleep. I think we regret not talking to her last night. But our tiredness soon takes over and we get some much need kip. It definitely won't do any of us favours when we talk to Y/n in the morning. She won't make it easy on us and I don't want to snap because I'm too tired.

When we eventually get up, we check on the boys and I go to ask Pepper if she would mind watching the boys. "Is Y/n not available?" Pepper asks with a humourless chuckle. "What? No, we're going to take her to breakfast." I respond, surprised at the bite to her tone. She hums in surprise. "I'll take the boys. Make sure you treat that girl. She definitely deserves it." She tells me firmly. I nod and thank her before going to get the boys.

"Everything ok?" Wanda asks me when I take Billy from her. "Whilst we've been failing to notice Y/n, I think everyone else has noticed our behaviour. It's very frosty down there." I tell her and she nods sadly. I guess we can't expect anything less.

It makes me wonder what could have happened if we didn't have everyone else around. They have clearly been supportive to her and been there when Wanda and I should have. What if she didn't have that support, would she have even still been with us?

Shaking off the thought, Wanda and I take the boys to the compound living room, where we receive a number of glares from the team that were there. Thankfully, nothing is said, but my guilt keeps on growing.

With the boys sorted, I take Wanda's hand and we head to Y/n's room. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. We wait anxiously but get no response. I try again, calling out to her this time. "Y/n, honey. Can we come in?" I ask, but once again, we're met by silence.

I look to Wanda who's got a concerned look on her face. "Sweetheart, we're going to come in now." Wanda speaks up and pushes down on the door handle. I'm surprised when it opens but that is soon replaced by shock when I see her room practically empty. There are a couple of boxes with her stuff in, but most of her clothes have gone.

I let go of Wanda's hand and quickly move into the ensuite to see if she's in there, but I'm met by more empty cabinets. Panic builds within me to know that she's gone. "Where is she?" Wanda asks as stands by the chest of draws, picking up photos that had been turned upside. She lets out a muffled sob when she sees they're our family photos. What have we done to our daughter.

"She's probably asked Fury if she could move sooner. Considering how much he loves her, I'm sure he would have done anything to get her in as soon as possible." I respond, letting out a sigh. "But she's only 17. She's still a kid." Wanda argues. "I know babe. But when she signed up, it was part of the contract that I signed as her parent. Besides, she turns 18 next week and we'd have no say anyway." I admit.

"Shit, is it already her birthday? We've done nothing to prepare for that. In fact, I'm sure we both forgot." Wanda exhales, running her hands through her hair, whilst I made sure all the photos were back upright. Though, I notice our last family photo was back when Y/n was just 15. We've got hundreds of photos with the twins, but it's been over two years since we've had a complete family photo.

Wanting to know that Y/n is ok, I grab my phone out and hit Fury's number. It rings out and I let out a sigh before trying Maria. "Romanoff." She greets me. "Hill, I was wondering if you could tell me if Y/n has moved into her room yet and if so where she's been placed. Wanda and I want to surprise her." I try my luck.

"I'm sorry, Y/n has asked that we don't disclose her room location at the moment. She has been allowed early move in, so will be in a position to share once the other agents are moving." Hill responds. "Please, Maria, I'm asking you as a friend. We really need to see Y/n." I plead, hoping she'll have sympathy on me. "And I'm telling you as a friend that how you treated your own daughter is unacceptable. Do you know why she was the best cadet to come through?" She calls me out. "No." I respond in a whisper. "Initially it was because she was trying to be just like her hero mothers. But she got even better when she was fighting to make her own name for herself to start her life over. I watched her personality change to become guarded and her walls built high. That's what you did to her Nat." She scolds me through the phone.

"I know Maria. We have fucked up more than we thought possible and we're trying to make this right. We can't do that if we can't even speak with her." I counter. "This isn't something you can just fix with a talk and a hug. This is years of you slowly neglecting her. Pushing yourself onto her is not going to help with that." Maria warns me. I know she's right. We'll end up pushing Y/n away if we're not careful. But I also know that I can't wait to fix this. I want my baby girl to know how much I love her. Despite my inability to show her these last few years.

Wanda and I spend the day trying to get any information on where Y/n might be. We get a lot of cold shoulders, and our questions often go answered. I even spend time hanging around the Shield accommodation to see if I can catch a glimpse of her. My lucks not in and I return home deflated.

When I walk through the door, a smile forms on my face as I see Wanda giving the boys dinner. "Any luck?" She asks. I just shake my head. "We'll find her." She says confidently. "When was the last time we had dinner with Y/n?" I ask, looking to Wanda who's looking at me sympathetically. "Detka, you are punishing yourself by think that." She scolds me lightly. "It's true though. She asked when we last said I love you to her. I've been trying to think, and I don't remember. How can a mother not remember when they last said I love you to their child. Have we really subconsciously disregarded her because she isn't biologically ours?" I share my thoughts, tears falling freely down my face.

Wanda quickly moves from the table, leaving the boys to carry on talking about the latest Nintendo game they're playing. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in close. "We let ourselves get lost in the boys. They were a handful and we were blessed with a daughter who was selfless and caring. Subconsciously, we took advantage of that. But that changes now ok." She responds as I nod in the crock of her neck. We really need to fix this.

__________

It's been a few days and we've still had no luck in seeing Y/n. Wanda and I decided to go to Shield to talk to Fury today, whilst the boys were in school. I head straight to his office, knocking twice before heading in, not caring if he's busy. "Romanoff, Maximoff. What can I do for you?" He asks, moving his gaze from the laptop in front of him.

"It's been long enough now Fury. The other agents have started moving in and Y/n is still only 17, so tell us where she is staying." I demand, my tone harsh. "I can give you her room allocation, but she's not there." Fury responds, just angering me more. "Then where the hell is she?!" I shout, only calming down when I feel Wanda squeeze my hand. "She's on a mission. She'll back tomorrow." He responds nonchalantly.

"A mission? She's 17 Fury! How is she already going on a mission?!" Wanda responds before I even manage to direct my own anger into words. "She is almost 18 and finished top of her class. You knew that was a possibility when you signed her up Romanoff. She has the potential to be the best agent we've seen. She is ready." Fury retorts, but I'm still not happy. "She's just a kid, she could get hurt." I growl, worry taking over me.

"Natasha, she is far from the kid you think she is. If you still trained with her, you'd see that she can almost beat Steve in hand to hand combat and her weapons skill matches your own, if not better in some instances." He points out and I realise how little I actually know my daughter right now. "Look, I'll keep you posted when she's back." Fury concedes after a moment silence.

"Thank you. Is she on her own?" I ask but he shakes his head. "Steve went to be on comms." He replies and that puts my mind at ease a little. He loves her like his own, he'll do everything that he can to protect her. "Ok. Thank you." I say, taking Wanda's hand a heading home.

"We've missed so much Nat. Y/n used to tell us everything about her training and classes. We've created an environment where she doesn't feel like she can share with us anymore. She was probably so excited to get a chance on her first mission. But instead of us being with her and making sure she's prepared, we didn't even know she had gone." Wanda agonises.

"I'm worried that we may not be able to fix this. If her walls have gone up, they'll be near impossible to knock them down." I sigh. "You had walls once. What helped you to let them down?" Wanda asks. "Y/n." I respond, my gaze dropping to my hands. "Then we find away to be the same for her." Wanda tries to comfort me. But how can the people that caused her this pain, be the ones to pull her through.

The next morning is quiet whilst we get the boys ready for school. They asked this morning where Y/n was and that they missed her. It broke my heart. Because of our actions, not only is Y/n feeling alone, isolated, and not part of this family, but her brother might lose the chance of having their sister in their lives.

When we get home, we end up just sat waiting for any news that Y/n is on her way home so we can greet her. I want to be able to hear all about how her first mission went and actually be apart of something so special to her. I may not have shown it, but I've always been proud of her. She is talented and I loved training with her. I had always planned to join her again once the twins were old enough. But I didn't and it seems that I have missed out on so much.

Whilst I'm preparing lunch, I hear Friday's alarm go off and my ears tune in. "Emergency medical team to the landing bay. Emergency medical team to the landing bay." I don't even think before I'm dropping the knife onto the countertop. I go to call for Wanda, but she rushes in from the bedroom. "Something's wrong with Jess. I can feel it." She says worriedly. "Let's go." I say, taking her hand and rushing through the compound to get to the landing bay.

Cho is waiting, along with a nursing staff. "Is it Y/n?" I ask as we come to a halt next to her. It feels like an age before she responds. A small nod of the head breaks my heart. "H-how bad?" Wanda asks, a tremble to her voice. "Steve confirmed a gunshot wound. She's lost a lot of blood." She responds. I run my hand through my hair, my stomach in knots.

It feels like the world around me has become muffled. I don't hear the orders that Cho is giving her team. Had I been able to, maybe I would have known more about her condition. My chest feels tight at the thought of her being hurt and the chance that she might not make it.

It's not until a pair of hands cup my face, that I zone back into the environment around me. "Breathe for me baby." Wanda's shaking voice tries to calm me. But the complete fear in her own eyes doesn't do much to help. We're facing losing our daughter and she doubts the depths of our love for her.

I do my best to bring myself out of this panic attack. I can't be a broken version of myself. My wife and family need me more than ever. If I can't pull through now, I'm not worthy to be a mother. "That's it detka. Deep breathes." Wanda guides me. I take one more deep breath and stand straighter. This isn't about me.

I can see a frown on Wanda's face form as she sees me put up my own walls. I know that she hates when I do this, but it's the only way I know how to get through what's about to happen without completely breaking down.

It's not long until the QuinJet comes into sight and slowly starts to descend on to the landing pad. I feel like I'm holding my breath as we wait for the ramp to lower, and we can see how bad this is. My heart is thumping against my chest as it begins to lower, and I see Steve's face first.

Cho and her team move forward, a bed waiting, whilst Wanda and I hold back. I want to be by her side straight away, but I also know that we'll just be a hinderance to her care if we insist on being with her.

When we get a full view of Steve, I hear Wanda let out a sob beside me. He's holding our unconscious daughter in his arms. His own suit is covered in blood and my eyes instantly land on the blooded dressing on her stomach. "I tried to staunch the bleeding as best I could. But it just kept coming." Steve explains. I've never seen him so shaken up before.

He places Y/n on the hospital bed and moves out the way, before staring at his bloodied hands. Cho doesn't wait before rushing Y/n off to the medical bay, the three of us closely following behind.

"Is she going to be ok?" I ask as they start to get to work. But before she has a chance to respond, the machines start to go crazy and they move even faster to help my daughter. "I can't answer that right now Agent Romanoff. I need to focus on Y/n, but I promise I'll keep you updated." Cho says, her polite way of telling us to leave. I'm reluctant, knowing that in this moment, Y/n is on the verge of life or death. But with a subtle tug of my hand from Wanda, I follow to watch through the window outside.

My gaze doesn't leave my daughter as I watch over as the team work to save her life. I don't notice that another person has joined us until I hear a bang from behind me. My head shoots around where I see Steve pinning Fury to the wall. "You told us it was empty! That all she needed was to get to the drive and out again." Steve growls at Fury who's holding his hand up in surrender. "I know." He responds, but Steve isn't happy when he slams him against the wall again.

"Then why the hell is she led in that hospital fighting for her life. There was a whole guard waiting for her!" Steve yells. This information makes the anger inside me grow. "You sent her into an ambush?!" I join in now, furious that he has put my daughter in danger.

"I didn't know! I'm as surprised as you are." Fury tries to explain, but Steve isn't letting up. "Talk!" Steve spits. "I had an agent scout the base for two weeks! Every report was how there was no activity. I would never have sent her had I know there was any more risk. It was supposed to be an easy mission for her first." Fury explains.

I can see the honesty in his eyes, and I know Steve does too. Fury has been like family to Y/n and I do trust he would never willingly put her in unnecessary danger. "So, either Hydra suddenly decided to man the base or..." Steve starts. "The agent tipped them off." I finish off as Fury nods. "I've detained the agent, and he broke within minutes. It was a perfect opportunity for them to fight you without back up." Fury shares as Steve lets him go. "Except I wasn't meant to go in. So, they were faced with Y/n." Steve concludes.

"I'm sorry Nat. I really am. I never would put Y/n in danger like that. I wanted her to have a successful first mission. One that would build her confidence." Fury apologises with a sincerity that he rarely shows. "I want to see him." I state firmly, to which Fury sighs. "Me too. It's because of him that our daughter is fighting for her life." Wanda steps beside me, her eyes glowing red. "Not now, not while you're both angry and worried." Fury refuses. "He could be the reason my daughter dies!" I shout at him, but he doesn't budge. "And he'll also be the reason I have to arrest you for killing him. If it's not you it'll be Wanda. I'm not letting either of you do that." Fury once again declines.

In a huff, I drop to the seat in the waiting room, my head falling into my hands. He's right. I will kill him if I get my hands on him. "Be here for Y/n. She needs you now more than ever. Leave the rest to me. I can promise that he will not get away with it." Fury orders, the formality coming back into his tone. We all reluctantly agree, and he leaves content that, for now, a homicide will not be occurring.

"What happened?" I ask Steve when the silence becomes almost unbearable. He takes the seat next to me and his gaze falls to his blooded hands. "It was meant to be a simple mission to test her hacking. I was in the QuinJet for support, and she was to go in, get to the mainframe computer and download as much data as possible." He starts and I nod along. "It was going fine, and she was doing everything by the book, clearing each room one by one. Part of me was sure she would be just like you and be impatient to get what she needed." He shares, with a small smile, making me chuckle. "Thankfully, she's a far better agent than I am." I respond, feeling Wanda's hand interlink with mine.

"It was as she got to the second floor, she said something felt off. It was warmer and it didn't smell as damp and musty. She said there were signs that this floor had been used recently. Knowing the risk that could entail, I told her to pull back and we'd get a team to help us clear the base. It wasn't something we should be doing on our own." He continues to explain, my anger towards the double agent increasing by the minute. But I also feel pride at how she was able to establish that something was wrong.

"She did as I ordered, but she was ambushed on her way out. I was already on my way in to meet her when I heard gunshots start. By the time I reached her, all the agents were down around her, but an alarm was blaring, and I knew others would be on their way. I grabbed at Y/n's arm, but she didn't move. As I moved in front of her, it was then I saw where her gaze was fixed. She's been hit. I got her out of there as quickly as I could and set the QuinJet to fly on autopilot. I tried everything that I could to stop the bleeding, but there was just so much. I-I...." Steve starts to crumble as he aggressively rubs at the blood on his hands.

I reach out and place my hands over his, stopping his actions. "I know you would have done everything you could Steve. We don't blame you. I'm so grateful that you were there to help our daughter." I try to reassure him. "I'm going to clean up. I can't sit here with...this on my hands any longer." Steve says, standing up holding his hands out in front of him.

Silence falls again when it's just Wanda and me. I want to look through the window again, but I don't think I can see them working on her. If she dies, I can't watch that. She looked so small as Steve laid her on the bed. "I had always hoped I'd be with her on her first mission." I speak up, guilt building once again. "Hmm" Wanda responds, turning to look at me. "When we used to train together, I always knew she would be one of the best the agency we would see. I couldn't wait to work along side her. My pride was overwhelming." I share as Wanda smiles softly at me.

"What happened? Why did I let myself lose sight of her. I have no excuse for treating her how I did. When I adopted her, I promised that she would always be loved and safe. Look at her now. I wouldn't blame her if she never forgives me." I lament, tears stinging my eyes. "It wasn't just you babe. We both have done wrong by Y/n and it's not forgivable. But we can work to earn her trust back and be the mothers that she deserves." She tries to comfort me.

"What if she doesn't make it and we don't have a chance to make things right? Or she does make it through, but she wants nothing to do with us?" I question in a panic. "I think she always hoped you'd eventually pull your heads out your asses." Steves voice takes us both by surprise as he rejoins us in a pair of sweats and a hoody. "What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"Fury loves that kid. If she had asked to move out sooner, he would have allowed her too. I think part of her didn't want to go just in case you started being the loving and caring mothers you once were. Ultimately, she was still a kid and desperate to still have you in her life." He clarifies. "But she had already gone. We blew our last shot." Wanda speaks up. "Maybe you're right. But if anyone is worth fighting for. It's her." Steve points out and I couldn't agree more. I know that I'll do anything in my power to make things right and hopefully prove to my daughter that I love her more than I can express.

After hours of waiting, too scared to even glance through the window, Cho comes out of the medical room with a solemn look, and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I feel my breathing pick up once again, the thought of not being able to fix everything with Y/n becomes suffocating. It's not until Wanda grasps my hand that I find myself zoning back in.

"H-how is s-she?" I find myself asking in a quiet, unsure voice. Cho sighs and takes the seat opposite us, her hands interlocked. "Y/n suffered a gunshot wound to her abdomen. The bullet went straight through her liver. We were required to remove part of her liver, to ensure we saved her life. This was harder with the amount of blood that she lost. However, we were able to stabilise her before repairing the damage done to her liver." She explains.

"So, she's going to be, ok?" Wanda asks to clarify. "It's going to be touch and go. She's extremely weak right now and the next couple of days are going to be critical to her recovery. If she can pull through these next few days, I believe she'll make a full recovery. Though it'll take a lot of rehab to adjust to the changes to her body." Cho confirms.

I let out a small sob, knowing that she can pull through this. I have to believe that she will make it through these next few days, and we can be there to support her through her recovery. "Will she be able to return to full field duties?" Steve asks, clearly agitating Wanda. "Really Steve. That's what you're concerned about right now?" She snaps.

He turns to look at us and I know exactly why he's asking. "The SHIELD programme is everything to Y/n. To lose it after only just achieving it, that will crush her." Steve defends. "I think she would rather be alive right now." Wanda snaps back. "You just don't want to face that the honest truth is that without this programme, Y/n will feel like she has nothing, and I hate to say it, but she won't be too happy about being alive." Steve shares, an angry, yet sad look on his face.

Wanda goes to argue back, a look of hurt washing over her face. But I hold my hand up to stop her. "He's right my love." I interrupt her, making her snap her head to me. "SHIELD was the only family she thought that she had after she believed that she didn't belong in this family anymore. It will break her if she can't carry on what she worked so hard to achieve." I admit sadly.

I lock eyes with Wanda, and I see her heartbreak even further, if that's possible. "It'll take time and a lot of hard work, but I believe that Y/n would be able to return to full duties within SHIELD." Cho chips in, reminding us all that she was still in the room. "But first, she needs to get through the next few days." She reiterates, making all of us nod.

"Can we see her?" I ask, desperate to be with her and to hold her hand. "Of course. I'll be in my office, but the nursing staff will monitor her hourly." She smiles at us and leaves us to it. I take Wanda's hand and lead her towards the door and slowly push the door open. I let out a gasp when I see my little girl led in bed. She has a tube down her throat and wires attached to so many machines.

I've seen many people in this situation. But when it's your own daughter, there aren't words to describe the pain you feel. How helpless you are to make them better. All you can do is sit and watch as you wait for fate to take its course. Praying that you get your daughter back.

I instantly move to take a seat next to her bed, taking her hand in mine and holding it tightly. I notice the bruising to her knuckles, showing she fought. It brings a small smile of pride to my face.

Wanda goes to the opposite side of the bed and gently places her hand on Y/n's head. "I'm so sorry moya Lyubov." She whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. "We promise we're going to make things right. We are so sorry that you ever felt like you didn't belong in this family. You'll never doubt this again!" I make promise to her now, one that I will repeat when she wakes up. Because she will wake up.

Part 2

#marvel fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #avengers fanfiction #marvel #avengers #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff #wandanat #wandanat x reader

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finnsbubblegum · 1 year

Text

You Fell First But He Fell Harder (Joel Miller X Reader)

Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, sweet joel, domestic joel, rom-com

Summary (Series): reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah.

Summary: Grocery shopping with Joel and Sarah went wrong as you came across his ex-wife.

Words count: 1k

A/N: I’m trying to make this as a rom-com, hope you like my new series! This is part 4 of Where It All Starts. But it can also be read as a standalone. I'm beyond happy that many of you liked it so I hope you enjoy the next parts. Stay tuned and love you!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

You and Joel’s playing house was getting real. From three dinners a week to five dinners a week to seven dinners a week. Every night you spent with Joel and Sarah. You even ran errands for him and Sarah like buying diapers, baby stuff and groceries. But today, he offered to go grocery shopping with you.

“Got the list?” Joel asked as he put Sarah to sit on the shopping cart.

“Let’s get the baby stuff first. We need baby food, diapers..” You read the list written on the piece of paper in your hand.

“Okay.” Joel pushed the shopping cart beside you.

“This one?” Joel grabbed a baby diaper from the cabinet.

“Yep, that one.” You nodded and Joel put it in the shopping cart.

*Sarah babbled*

“You’re bored, huh?” You caressed her head.

“Apples or bananas?” You showed two different baby food to Sarah.

“Bananas.” Joel answered while he was looking at some stuff at the cabinet.

“I’m not asking you. I’m asking Sarah.” You scoffed.

“Oh..She gets to choose her food?” Joel looked at you and raised his eyebrows.

“Freedom of speech.” You smirked.

“You’re funny.” Joel scoffed and shook his head.

Sarah babbled and her hand moved to the banana flavored baby food.

“Bananas it is.” You put the baby food inside the shopping cart.

“I think she has your taste.” You bumped Joel’s arm.

“That’s my girl.” Joel kissed his baby daughter’s head.

“Okay, let’s get some veggies! Choo Choo!” You pushed the shopping cart a bit fast and Sarah giggled.

Joel followed you from behind and laughed at your actions. For a moment, he wished you were the one whom he married and had a baby with. He was blessed to have you and see you making his baby happy. He smiled and imagined it. Until he saw Sarah’s mom, he put a frown on his face and sighed. You looked at him as he stopped.

“What is it?” You put your hand on his shoulder.

“It’s her.”

You looked in front of you and saw someone approaching the three of you. It was a woman and a man. The woman looked familiar.

“Hi, Joel.” The woman waved her hand awkwardly.

“Hi.” Joel answered coldly.

“Hi, babygirl.” She walked to get closer to Sarah.

Joel dragged back the shopping cart protectively so she couldn’t go closer.

“Joel, I’m sorry.” She apologized.

“I see you’re happy now.” He looked at the man beside her.

She sighed. You just stayed quiet. This wasn’t your business to meddle in.

“I guess you’re happy too.” She looked at you.

“Did you get the papers I sent you?” The woman asked Joel.

Joel scoffed. You saw him clenched his fist holding the shopping cart. So you put your hand on top of his and stroked his hand with your thumb while your other hand rested on his shoulder.

“Let’s go, honey.” You stroked his shoulder.

“I guess I’ll see you in court.” Joel said goodbye to Sarah’s mom.

“See you in court, Joel.” They parted ways.

Then, the three of you went home. Joel was quiet the whole way home and you didn’t ask him a thing. You understood they were talking about divorce papers. And you knew it made him angry.

“Thank you for today.” He thanked you while parking his car in the driveway.

“Anytime. We had a pact, remember?” You smiled.

“I guess it works? We’re even now.” He forced a smile and frowned again.

Joel moved the groceries from the car to his house and you carried Sarah inside. Before you walked out the door to go home, you remembered Sarah hadn’t pooped yet. It had been 45 minutes since her last feed and you remembered this baby massage thing you read.

“I forgot something.” You stopped half way.

“What?” Joel closed the door.

“Sarah hasn’t pooped.” You walked back to her room.

“That’s a problem?” Joel asked.

“Yeah. I learned about this baby massage to help them fart. Can I try?” You asked Joel for permission.

“Of course. You’re the master.” He let you.

You laid Sarah on the bed and let her get a comfortable position. Before you started, you took a deep breath in and out. You started with a slow and gentle massage of her tummy, you could feel it was full of gas. You massaged her little tummy again up and down with a gentle press.

*baby farted*

“Oh! Good girl!” You praised her as you giggled.

Joel's eyes widened. He was amazed at you. He wondered how you knew about this trick. You were not even her mom but you did a lot of research. Joel adored you.

After a few rubs on the tummy, you pumped her legs back and forth and she let out a cute fart again and again. The last one was loud but really cute.

*baby farted*

“That was a good one, baby.” You laughed.

Joel tried not to laugh but he couldn’t hold it. He finally burst into laughter as he heard his baby farted a big one. He laughed so hard holding his stomach. His jaw probably hurt from laughing too hard.

“You laughed.” You were relieved looking at Joel finally getting his happy face back.

“I’m proud of you, sweet girl. You just made your daddy laugh.” You snuggled your face to her tummy and shook your head.

“I’ve been thinking of ways to get your smile back. Mission accomplished.” You crossed your arms to your chest and put on a proud face.

"You-" Joel wanted to say something but he stopped.

“Thank you.” Joel smiled and looked at you.

His heart beat faster and he felt butterflies when he heard you said that. You didn’t only care about his daughter but you also cared about him. He suddenly saw sparkles around you and he blinked again to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. You were always beautiful in his eyes. But tonight, you were even more beautiful. He realized he just fell in love with the woman in front of him. His neighbor. You. Yes, Joel Miller was falling in love with you.

To be continued...

Taglist:

@lovelyygirl8 @skysmiller @moonlightdivine @crocodiile @angie2274 @pulchritudinousrogers @peqchsoup @msecho19 @happinessinthebeing @nyotamalfoy @nakedmoondiaries @dzaga890 @pa1g3-t0mm0 @prettysbliss @wanniiieeee @one-sweet-gubler @x-ap0llo-x @feministfanboi @ordinarylokix @afterglowsb-tch13 @param8re @tomorrowseverything @hummusxx @iranispunk @mrsyixingunicorn10 @likeanimagepassingby2 @mediocrewallflow3r @pedr0swh0r3 @mxtokko @dorck26 @cascactus28 @cheyxfu @stupidthoughtsinwriting @undermoonlightwalk @bigmoodyjoody @humanbug @sarahhxx03 @krisviciousx @quixscentsposts @dgct2 @dgraysonss @heybabyshae @fluffyspaceprincess @toottmblr

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milaisreading · 1 year

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Hiii good morning i was reading ur manager series and am totally in love with it specially the scenes where rin and reo decide to use their captain and rich-boy powers (the plushie one is my absolute fav) and i was wondering if i could request shidou and sae/kaiser/ness reaction to yns plushie or keychain? More than anyone else i wanna know shidous reaction🤭

Author : I didn't expect that story to be so popular since I came up with it at like 3 am☠️ but I hope you like this and thank you for the request🩷

Warnings ⚠️: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Shidou:

"Blue Lock is really that big now?" Loki commented as him and a few of his teammates were in the changing room of PXG, looking at a phone.

"Yeah! My sister wanted to buy one of the plushies and the site crashed like 3 times."

"Geez. Blue Lock 11 have boy group level fame." One chuckled as Shidou walked in, confused with the commotion.

"What are you guys looking at?" The blonde asked as he walked up closer, with the teammate showing him his screen.

"The guys who beat you, Blue Lock have now merch. Every girl or guy I know won't stop talking about them. My sister ordered like a collection of these plush toys."

"Haha my brother ordered all the keychains." Shidou was amused at the revelation, taking a mental note to tease Rin about it later.

"My sister has been complaining how hard it was to get the (Y/n) plush toy version. Every time there was a restock it got like sold out in a matter of minutes."

Now that was something Shidou had great interest in. The manager of Blue Lock has plushies? Shidou wanted to laugh.

'Hah! This is gold! But why would anyone buy that? A smaller version of (Y/n)? The whole replica? Small and soft...' Shidou's thoughts wandered off and he felt giddiness the more he imagined the item.

"Shidou, where are you going? We still need to train?" Loki called out as the taller walked out.

"I need to make fun of Rin for that plush toy of his!"

"Not again." Loki sighed and facepalmed.

The same night Shidou went on the Blue Lock website, where he found the said plush toy of the girl, and with absolutely no 2nd thought bought it.

'So adorable~' The boy grinned.

'I think 10 of these are a reasonable number.'

Sae:

Once in a while Sae would travel back to Japan to visit Blue Lock and his brother. Although he spent most of the time around (Y/n), trying to get her to join Madrid as their manager. The idea itself would be shut down by not only (Y/n), but also by Rin, who by now wouldn't leave the girl's side if he was around. This visit was a little bit different though. Since it was holiday season, Ego and Anri has sent everyone home and Sae was bummed a little. His brother wouldn't tell him anything relating to (Y/n).

'Brat.' Sae would roll his eyes at Rin's glares and him telling the older how his manager was none of Sae's business. The two weeks in Japan went by pretty quickly and it was Sae's time to go back. His mom, dad and Rin would drive him to the airport.

"It's in Rin's room?" Sae asked as his mom nodded her head.

"Yeah, I left your scarf there on accident, can you please get it? We need to hurry up to the airport and Rin is already outside."

Sae sighed and nodded his head, walking to the familiar door.

Opening it, Sae immediately spotted his red scarf and went to take it, only to freeze up when he noticed something on Rin's bed. On it was a smaller and softer version of (Y/n) staring up at him. Sae stood there for a moment and then quickly walked to the bed, picking the item up.

Sae stared at the soft toy in awe, astonished with how detailed it was.

'She looks adorable... nearly as adorable as the real (Y/n)? Where did Rin even find this? And why us he so reckless with it...' Sae sighed, patting (Y/n)'s head over and over.

"Sae! Hurry up!"

He turned to the door as his mother called for him. Sae shook his head and put the plush toy in his backpack and then took his scarf.

"Since you refused to tell me anything, I am taking (Y/n) with me. She is too adorable for Rin, anyways."

The next day, Sae was in his room and hugging the plush toy, enjoying the softness.

'So cute... so soft... I wonder if the real (Y/n) is even better to hug.' Sae's moment of peace was interrupted by his phone ringing.

"Hello." He said, already knowing who it is. He has been ignoring Rin's calls ever since he landed in Madrid.

"You thief! Did you take her?!" Rin yelled, obviously upset that his plushie was missing.

"Yes. She is really soft." Sae taunted.

"You bastard! I will come to Madrid and beat your ass!" Rin threatened.

"Do it and I will tell (Y/n) you had this thing to begin with. Imagine how much easier it will be to get her on my club then." Sae smirked as he got no answer in return and ended the call.

'Mine.' He thought as he hugged the plushie closer to himself.

Kaiser:

"What are you even looking at, Ness?" Kaiser raised his eyebrow as he saw his teammate and close friend smiling down at his phone.

'He looks like a child in a candy store.' Kaiser thought as Ness looked up at him in surprise, before showing him his phone.

"My package arrived today! I can't wait till I pick it up." The boy admitted as Kaiser went over the tracking history.

"From Japan? What did you even get there?"

"Huh? You didn't see it?" Ness wondered, making Kaiser even more confused.

"See what? Stop talking in circles."

"Blue Lock just released new merch and restocks-"

"Ness... please don't tell me you bought merch from THEM?"Kaiser asked in disbelief. As far as he knew, the only person in Blue Lock Ness liked was (Y/n).

'But there is no way they made merch of her. It's always about the players, not managers.' Kaiser thought.

"There was a cute plushie of (Y/n) and her figurine as well as a keychain... I had to get it!" Ness defended with an embarrassed look.

"Hold up... there is merch of her?" Kaiser wondered as Ness nodded his head.

"Yes! The plushie looks so adorable, I can't wait till I hold it." Ness cheered while Kaiser went to look at the item.

"Hmmm..."

A few weeks later...

It was late at night in Japan as (Y/n)'s phone rang. Panicked and still dizzy from her sleep, she took her phone and answered it.

"Helloo?" She slurred out, wondering who it could be.

"What a day to be alive, you never told me you had merch!" Kaiser laughed from the other side.

"Kaiser? Do you even know how late it is here? And what about the merch?" (Y/n) asked, a little annoyed but she was too tired to argue.

"It's kinda cute that my little Liebling is a star now. Don't forget about me when your merch sells out." Kaiser laughed.

"Shut up! I want to sleep!" She yelled but Kaiser kept on going and (Y/n) was forced to listen to his talk for another 10 minutes.

Kaiser on the other hand was sitting in his living room as the (Y/n) plushie sat on his lap, getting headpats from time to time.

Ness:

Ness was honestly not expecting to fin anything interesting the evening after a training. It was honestly normal, he showered, ate his dinner and went on his phone, to see what Blue Lock were up to. In all honesty he just wanted to see if there were any pictures or video clips with (Y/n) in them. But instead of that, he found an announcement on new merch.

"Huh? Plushies, keychains and figurines?" Ness mumbled and opened the link, boredly scrolling down the site as all of them were from players.

"Boring-" Ness stopped himself as he saw a familiar shade of (h/c) hair and stopped. Blinking at the items that were displayed, Ness took in the plushie, keychain and figurine that was displayed of (Y/n), all tiny and adorable.

"I need this. I don't even know what I entered this site for again." Ness mumbled as she put the items into the cart.

"You bought it?!" (Y/n) yelled from the other side of the phone. Ness giggled and hugged the plushie of the girl.

"Yeah! You have no idea how soft it is! I have been hugging it ever since it came hours ago." Ness said as the line went quiet for a moment.

"...and what do you think? How is the merch of me?" (Y/n) asked nervously as Ness looked down lovingly at her plushie replica.

"It's cute! Very soft and I love how well detailed it is. It's nearly as cute as you."

"A-ah?! You think so?! I... I need to go now and talk with Ego-san over something! See you, Ness!"

"See ya~" Ness said and ended the call, then looked down at the plushie again.

"So cute..." He smiled, giving a small kiss to the toy's forehead.

#blue lock anime #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #blue lock requests #shidou ryuusei #shidou ryuusei x reader #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #michael kaiser #michael kaiser x reader #alexis ness #alexis ness x reader

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cerealkills · 2 years

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"bad influence" vance hopper x good girl!fem reader ♡

cws: swearing, smoking and drinking, mentions child abuse and strict parents OVER 16 DNI. setting: 1979, before vance gets kidnapped genre/tags: fluff, canonxreader

You were the picture perfect girl at school. Always on time, did extracurriculars, pretty, athletic, smart, etc. You hated this because you hated putting on this front all the time. You liked to swear, you hated always wearing dresses and pink, you hated doing sports and you hated everything your parents made you do. There was a problem, though. You had strict parents. Really strict parents. They had very clear expectations of you and if you didn't live up to them, there would be hell to pay. Straight A's, always. Even a B would get you a slap on the face. Had to be home by 6 pm sharp, except on Fridays. They had to meet all your friends, and strictly, NO DATING. "You need to focus on school. You shouldn't be worrying about some stupid boy right now." Your mom would always say when you stared at a boy for a little too long. But you couldn't help that last rule. There was this boy, Vance Hopper. The school punk. Always late for class, aggressive as hell and someone that you should NEVER pick a fight with because you WILL lose. But secretly, you guys had been hanging out. Quite a lot, actually. You'd lie to your mom saying "Oh, I'm gonna spend the night at Annabella's house", when you actually went to spend the night at Vance's. Anna always covered for you, but even then, mom would still find out sometimes. But it was worth the beating you'd get. Vance was a whole different guy around you. He was sweet, goofy, gentle and just overall an amazing guy. You were getting ready to sneak out because surprise surprise, you were grounded. But you had managed to hide your new Sony Walkman from your mom. Since you were quite well off, you were lucky enough to buy one as soon as they came out. You sat quietly in your room, brushing your hair and putting on perfume while quietly humming along to the ABBA cassette you were listening to. Looking over at your clock, you frowned. "It's 11. Where the fuck is he?" You said quietly to yourself, pausing the music and taking off your headphones. You walked over to your open window where suddenly, the blonde haired boy popped out, causing you to stumble backward. "Haha, got you good, didn't I, sweetheart?" He said, with a smug look on his face. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." You replied as you rolled your eyes at him, with a look of sheer annoyance on your face. "What took you so damn long? What if my parents wake up? They'll kill me!" "Eh, don't stress. It's no big deal. Now get your ass over here, we gotta get going before your neighbors see." He said, grabbing your hands and gently helping you onto your roofs ledge. You both managed to get down and checked to make sure your window was closed. "Alright let's go." You said, running down the street holding your boyfriend's hand, who was struggling to keep up. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later on, at his house you guys were blasting music on his boombox as you guys drank and smoked together, cracking jokes, playfighting and just acting like morons. You took a swig of the beer in your hand and placed it on the floor. "Damn, who knew such a "good girl" drank and smoked in secret? Not being a very good role model right now, missy." He said in between laughs while you lay in his lap as he smoked a cigarette. "Oh shut your mouth." You said, sitting up and snatching the cigarette from his hand. You took a puff and you both just sat there for a minute, enjoying the feeling of eachother's presence. He quickly took the cigarette back from you and placed a light kiss on your lips. "You're such a bad influence on me, I swear." You said as you flopped back down into his lap. "Yeah, I guess so, princess." He responded as he ran his fingers through your hair. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*walkmans came out in 1979 btw *sorry if this is shittily written, im not super good at writing fanfics so im sorry

written by @mvnsoxns

#vance hopper x reader #vance hopper #the black phone #the black phone x reader #1979 #fluff #canon x reader

2K notes · View notes

taexbankai · 3 months

Text

I only want you

this is chapter 5, the other 4 chapters on my on page!!

this chapter is really long so brace yourselves lmao. enjoy!!

—————

it’s been a little over a month since prom night and yuta has been acting really weird. when i see him at school he’s always very dry and acts really standoffish. he takes hours to respond to my messages and whenever he do respond he only gives me short quick answers

“y/n we graduate this week can you believe it?!” nobara said excitedly as she gave me a back hug

“i know right? it’s hard to believe we were little freshmen 4 years ago” i said to her. We walked out of the school together

“i’m just happy that seniors doesn’t have to come back to the school until graduation night” yuji said as he ran up to us, megumi walking closely behind him

“honestly, i was so sick and tired of waking up early and getting ready for school” megumi said as he stretched

“where are ya’ll about to go? yuji asked me

“back to my house, we want to plan a graduation party” i told him

“oh okay, are we still hanging out tomorrow?” yuji asked

“yeah of course” nobara answered. we all spoke for a little longer before yuji and megumi left

“so.. how has it been with yuta?” nobara asked me as we got into my car

“the same. honestly we might as well just break up at this point” i told her and sighed as i began to back out of the parking spot

“do you honestly think he’s cheating through?” nobara asked me

“i don’t want to believe it. I thought that maybe at first he was upset with me because of the whole ‘me still having feeling for satoru’ thing. but i think it’s bigger than that. he always keeps his phone face down when we’re together at school and sometimes he won’t text me back until like 10-11 at night” i told her

“i think i’m going to ask maki myself and see what she says” nobara said, getting frustrated

“how could he ask you out just to cheat on you? that’s such a dick move. yuta didn’t even seem like the cheating type. I can’t believe him, and if the problem really is about you and satoru then he could’ve been mature about it and spoke to you. but if i find out he is cheating on you with maki… i’m killing both of them” nobara said angrily. i laughed softly at her, feeling good that she has my back

“i love you” i said and smiled at her before looking back at the road

——————

“wow, i always forget how rich your family is” nobara said as we walked into my house

“stop, we’re not rich” i said and laughed

“this is clearly rich y/n, you even have maids here” she said while laughing

“hello nobara sweetie! i haven’t seen you in ages, how are you?” my mom said as she came out of the kitchen

“hi mom! i’m good, how are you?” nobara said as she gave my mom a hug. my mom and nobara are really close so sometimes nobara calls my mom by her name and other times she just calls her mom

“i’m good sweetie!” my mom responded

“so what are you two up to today?” my mom asked me

“planning a graduation party. we only have a few days left to get everything ready” i told my mom

“oh okay, what day did you want to plan it for?” she asked

“we definitely want to do it the day after graduation, so saturday” i said

“okay well i’ll make sure your father and i aren’t home for that day so you kids can have the whole house to yourselves!, you’re stuck with us the day of your graduation though” my mom said and laughed, in which nobara and i started laughing as well

“okay then, i don’t want to hold you two too much longer. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me” my mom said

“okay mom!” i said as i started walking towards my bedroom with nobara

after a few hours of planning and looking at different places to pick up the party supplies we finally finished everything

“okay so on thursday we’ll go to party city and pick up all the decorations. friday is graduation and then saturday morning we’ll go pick up the food items, drinks, and the 3 different cakes. then we’ll start setting up at 6pm and the party will start at 8pm” nobara said, reading the notes we made on her phone

“yep, sounds good to me. I’ll send out the invitation to the seniors group chat so that way we can just invite all the seniors at one time” i told her as i started making the digital flyer on my phone

“okay cool. I’m gonna get going then, ino’s almost here to pick me up” she said to me as she started grabbing her things

“aw my favorite couple” i said making kissing noises

“shut up” she said, playfully pushing me while laughing

“okay girl, i’ll see you tomorrow” she said as she walked over to my door

“okay, you don’t want me to walk you out?”

“nah i’ll be okay, later!”

after nobara left i ate dinner, got in the shower, brushed my teeth, did my face care routine and then laid down in my bed. I got on my phone and was scrolling on instagram until i got bored. I went to my messing app and clicked on yuta’s name

“still no response huh?” i said as i saw he still didn’t reply to my message from 1pm asking if we wanted to hang out with me, yuji, nobara, and megumi tomorrow. I looked at the time on my phone and saw that it read 10:23pm. I sighed and closed out the app. bored with nothing else to do, i decided to just go to sleep. i got up to turn my light off, as i walked back to my bed my phone suddenly started ringing which scared the living shit out of me. i picked up my phone and saw that satoru was calling me

“hello?” i said, confusion laced in my voice. i waited for satoru to say something but the line was silent

“toru? are you okay?” i asked, my heart starting to beat faster wondering what was going on

“y/n” was all he said. his voice sounded really low and deep

“yes?” i asked him

“i just wanted to hear your voice. i needed a friend to talk to and suguru is sleeping over at yuki’s tonight dorm tonight” he said. i could hear the muffled sound of blankets, i’m guessing he just laid down on his bed or turned to his side

“okay… is everything alright?” i asked him again

“yeah i’m fine silly girl. just bored and lonely” he said to me. riko immediately popped up in my head

“how are you lonely when you have a girlfriend?” i asked him, with a slight laugh

“what are you doing up so late?” he asked, completely ignoring my question

“nobara left about an hour ago so i was just up doing nothing” i told him as i laid down in my bed, staring up at my ceiling

“oh okay… I know your graduation is this week, are you excited?” he asked me

“yeah, just excited to finally be done with highschool” i told him with a dramatic sigh. he started laughing which made me smile hearing his laugh

“i wish you, shoko, and suguru could come to my graduation. won’t your college be on summer vacation by then?” i asked him

“yeah but suguru and i have to do a week of summer school, i don’t know about shoko though” he told me. i let out a dramatic cry

“damn, i wanted to see you all” i said as i turned onto my side, now looking out of my window

“i know, i wanted to see you too” satoru said. i was about to ask him a question when i heard him yawn

“are you tired toru? go to sleep if you’re sleepy” i said to him

“i just had a long day, i want to sit on the phone with you though” he told me. i felt my heart skip a beat

“why do you always do this to me?” i asked him, slightly frustrated at him for always making me so nervous and flustered, but more mad at myself for allowing it to happen

“do what?” he asked, confused

“sweet talk me. you always say nice things to me and get my hopes up. when you say stuff like that it makes me heart skip a beat” i said, nervously biting my bottom lip, regretting telling him. i heard satoru softly laugh before he spoke up

“you think that’s how i sweet talk people? if i would’ve said “i can’t wait to see you again so i can make you mine and keep you to myself” then i would have been sweet talking you” he said to me. i was stunned into silence. the example he used was probably no more than just an example…but my heart was beating so fast i didn’t know how to react

“see? that was so good you’re silent now” satoru said while laughing at me, snapping me out of my thoughts

“h-hey, stop messing with me. you’re so annoying” i told him playfully

“i wasn’t” he said

“you weren’t what?” i asked him. did he mean he wasn’t messing around?

“hey don’t you have a boyfriend?” he asked me. i was disappointed that he didn’t answer my previous question

“yeah… i think” i said, laughing a little

“what do you mean by i think?” satoru asked

“well, basically to make a long story short, he’s been acting really weird. barely responding to my texts, we don’t hang out or see each other outside of school anymore. He hangs out with my friend maki a lot though… i feel like something is going on but i can’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t want to accuse him of anything you know? but i’ve tried being a good girlfriend. we were doing good at first, we’ve been dating since junior year but after prom night he was acting weird and i don’t know why” i told satoru, ranting to him. i continued ranting and satoru quietly listened to me. once i was done ranting, he finally said something

“he’s cheating on you with the girl” was all he said

“y…you think so?” i asked him

“i know so… i’m a guy. the girl that he lost his virginity too is this maki girl. that’s why he didn’t want to answer when you all were playing the game… that’s probably what they were talking about before you walked outside the same night” satoru told me. i was quiet, tears slowly coming to my eyes before they slowly slid down my cheeks

“that makes a lot of sense actually…” i said to him, trying to cry without him noticing

“i’ve never cheated on him or anything like that. was i a bad girlfriend? is it my fault?” i asked more to myself than to satoru

“hey hey hey don’t cry y/n!” satoru said, his voice sounding slightly panicked

“i could be wrong you know. he could have a perfectly good reason why he’s been acting that way. don’t take my word for it, that was just my opinion” he told me, trying to make me feel better

“i’m not crying” i said, wiping my tears

“y/n… i know you too well, i know you’re crying right now” he said softly

“no i’m not” i said, lying to him still

“okay, answer my facetime call then” he said before he hung up. seconds later i received a facetime call from satoru. i frantically wiped any traces of tears off my face as i sat up in my bed and answered the call

“what took you so long to answer huh? i bet you were wiping the tears off of your face” he said while laughing. i grabbed my led lights remote and turned on my white lights so satoru could see me instead of me sitting in the dark

“shut up” i told him as i placed my remote back down and laid back down in my bed. satoru just smiled at me

“you’re too pretty to be crying over a boy y/n” he told me as he rolled onto his back while holding his phone up enough for me to still see his face. my heart was racing, he was acting a little different tonight

“yeah? well i cried over you too before remember?” i said while laughing

“don’t remind me, i felt horrible” satoru said as i laughed harder at his reaction. we ended up talking on the phone until two in the morning before we fell asleep on facetime. when i woke up and checked my phone is was almost twelve in the afternoon and my phone was on 2%

“shit, i forgot to set an alarm” i said to myself as i quickly put my phone on the charger. I was suppose to meet up with nobara, yuji and megumi at one so i needed to get up and start getting ready now. i opened my messages app to text them in our group chat and let them know that i just woke up and was going to start getting ready. before i clicked on the group chat icon, i saw that i had a message from satoru. i immediately clicked on it and read what it said

‘my phone died while we were sleeping last night, thanks for keeping me company though’ he ended the message with two white hearts. i had a huge smile on my face as i texted him back. after i sent my message to satoru i went to the group chat and sent them a message. i then went to mine and yuta’s messages and saw that he read my message but didn’t respond. i rolled my eyes and closed my phone to start getting ready

—————— skip to graduation day—————

“omg we’re really about to graduate!” nobara said as she excitedly shook me back and forth

“i know i know i can’t believe it!!” i said as i shook her back. all of the seniors were in the back of the graduation stadium lining up to walk across the stage. nobara was in front of me and in front of her was ino, yuji, megumi and then more students in front of him. behind me was yuta, maki, momo, mai, miwa, kokichi, inumaki, and the rest of the graduating class. i turned around to look at yuta who was already looking at me

“are you excited to graduate?!” i asked him, a big smile of my face

“yeah” he said with a small smile. i was too happy and excited about graduating that i didn’t realize how dry his response actually was. we began to hear cheering and clapping, i glanced at my phone and saw that it was 7:00pm, which means the graduation ceremony started. we walked out of the back room in our lines and made it to our assigned seats. the graduation stadium was full of families cheering. i looked up in the stands for my mom and dad but there was so many people there that i couldn’t find them. i could slightly hear someone yelling my name so i knew they were here, and that’s all that mattered to me.

after the ceremony all of the freshly graduated students walked out to the front of the building to meet up with their families and friends to take pictures and get ready to go home. i was separated from nobara as she went with ino to go find their families, i walked by myself to the front and looked around for my mom and dad. after weaving through tons of parents, friends, siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents, and students who were outside hugging their families and taking pictures, i finally saw my mom and dad looking around waiting for me with a sign in their hand. i started running up to them and once they saw me coming they started waving their “my daughter just graduated” signs in the air and cheering for me. i ran up to them and gave both of them a hug

“congratulations baby!” my dad said as he gave me a kiss on my forehead. he then placed 3 money lei’s around my neck

“i’m so proud of you honey!” my mom said as she placed another money lei around my neck. i started tearing up, being so thankful for having such amazing parents

“thank you both so much! and four money lei’s? how much money is each of these?” i asked while laughing

“nothing too much, i only folded one thousand dollars” my mom said, proud of her money folding and decorating skills

“oh okay so like $250 on each money lei?” i asked

“no silly, one thousand dollars on each money lei” she said while laughing

“WHAT?!” i yelled

“i wanted to give you more but your mom said that if we gave you too much you right run away with the money and never come back” my dad said while laughing

“don’t worry dad, 4 thousand is more than enough, thank you” i said. my parents would always give me money but i seriously wasn’t expecting four thousand dollars from them today

“okay, let me get my phone out so we can take some pictures” my mom said as she pulled her phone out. my dad pulled his out too and started recording

“dad why are you recording? i thought we were taking pict-“

“guess who?” i was cut off by my eyes being covered by two large hands. i immediately started jumping up and down from excitement

“suguru you made it!!” i screamed and turned around, throwing myself at my big brother and giving him a big hug

“congratulations baby sis, i’m so proud of you!” suguru said as he hugged me back. i started crying into his chest

“don’t cry too much or you’ll ruin your makeup!” i heard another voice say, i let go of suguru and saw shoko standing next to him

“shoookoooooo!” i said as i gave her a big hug as well

“i missed you two so much” i said to her as she hugged me back

“hey what about me?” my heart dropped, no way… i must be dreaming. i slowly let go of shoko and turned to my left, i saw satoru standing there with a huge bouquet of flowers. i immediately ran over to him and gave him a hug, he wrapped his arm that wasn’t holding the bouquet around my waist

“congrats on graduating!” he said to me

“thank you toru” i said, still hugging him. i can’t believe they were all here, it’s been a year since i last saw them

“hey, my hug wasn’t that long!” i heard suguru said. we all laughed at him as i finally let satoru go

“i thought you said you guys couldn’t come because of summer school?” i asked satoru

“i lied to surprise you. we watched you walk across the stage too, but i don’t think you saw us in the stands” he said as he wiped the tears off of my face

“did you guys know?” i asked my parents as i turned and faced them

“of course! suguru called us two months ago telling us he was going to be here for your graduation” my mom said. now i understood why my dad started recording

“did you really think i’d miss my baby sisters graduation?” suguru said and laughed

“oh yeah and this is for you, i made it myself!” he added as he took a money lei off of his neck and put it around mine

“it’s one thousand dollars, mom said they gave you some as well” he told me. i was so excited to see them, i didn’t even realize they were holding stuff, except for satoru

“thank you!” i said to him

“and here’s mine! i saw you post on instagram about wanting this brand” shoko said as she handed me a gift bag that had graduation balloons tied around it

“you can open it when you get home” she said and smiled

“thank you sho” i said to her, my cheeks hurting from how much i’ve been smiling

“and finally, here’s my gift” satoru said, i turned and faced him as he gave me the huge bouquet of flowers, i looked closer at them wanting to smell them only to realize that they weren’t flowers, but 100 dollar bills rolled to look like roses

“toru-“

“it’s also a thousand, i don’t wanna hear any butts or ands” he said, cutting me off while laughing

“i also got you this” he said as he took out a little box, he opened it up and it had a beautiful gold necklace in it. i heard my mom gasp while i stood there, tears threatening to fall again as i watched him take the necklace out of the box and show it to me up close, in the middle of the necklace was a single diamond

“turn around” he ordered me, i immediately turned around and felt him move my hair out of the way and put the necklace on me

“i got you this one because i feel like the other necklace i got you for your birthday has too many bad memories attached to it” he laughed as i turned back around and hugged him

“thank you so much toru! i love you” i said to him, the last part slipping out

“you’re welcome, i love you too” he said, hugging me again

“how touching, you’re stealing my sister from me” suguru said sarcastically

“you totally just showed me up with your gifts” shoko said. i laughed at both of them

“i appreciate all of the gifts you all got me, thank you so much. this is the best day of my life!” i said to them and my parents as they all laughed at me

“i still have the necklace you gave me toru, i just don’t wear it much because of yuta” i told him

“it’s okay, now you have a new one” he said and smiled

“okay, let’s all take some pictures before we go to dinner!” my dad said

“dinner?” i asked

“yeah, your graduation dinner” my mom said

i took some pictures with my parents, shoko, suguru, and satoru. some group photos and some separate photos

“y/n! we have to take pictures together!” i heard someone yell to me, i turned around and saw nobara running up to me with our group of friends and their families closely behind her

“it took us forever to find you!” she said as she reached me and gave me a hug

“sorry, i was so caught up in seeing everyone” i told her. the rest of our friends had met up with us. i turned to greet the huge group of family and friends that came with them, i then turned and introduced everyone

“this is my mom and dad, and this is my other best friend shoko, my big brother suguru and this is satoru” i said to my friends, i then turned and introduced my friends

“you’ve all met some of them already but these are my friends, this is miwa, momo, inumaki, ino, kokichi, mai, maki, and then my boyfriend yuta” i said, leaving megumi, yuji and nobara out of the introduction’s since they already knew them

“nice to meet you all, thanks for being friends with my little sister ” suguru said as he smiled at everyone. shoko, satoru and my parents all waved at them with smiles on their faces. my friends families approached my friends as they wanted to start taking pictures of all of us together, yuta’s parents walked over to my parents as they began to catch up and talk to each other. i saw satoru and suguru exchange a quick look between each other before they both approached yuta, who i was still standing by

“so… you’re the boy who’s dating my sister” suguru said as he looked yuta up and down. yuta started to look a little nervous

“y-yeah that’s me” yuta stuttered

“don’t mess with him suguru! he’s nice to me” i said, not wanting suguru to embarrass yuta

“nice to you huh?… i just want to meet the boy who my sister is dating, he is your first boyfriend after all” suguru continued

“and this is maki?” satoru spoke up. satoru and i made quick eye contact before he looked back at a flustered maki who was still standing by yuta, her parents speaking to inumaki’s parents

“nice to meet you” she said as she nervously stuck her hand out to shake satoru’s hand. satoru didn’t shake her hand though, he only muttered a quick ‘hi’ before his attention was back on yuta

“i’m going to be completely honest with you right now” satoru started as he took off his sunglasses, now staring yuta directly in his eyes

“i don’t like you” he said

“neither do i” suguru said. i felt like my blood pressure was going up by the second. satoru pulled me gently by the arm so i was standing next to him instead of yuta

“not responding to y/n for hours” satoru said

“being super dry” suguru continued

“ not making any time for her” satoru said

“ignoring her” suguru said

“ and the icing on the cake… spending more time flirting, gigging, seeing, and talking to little miss maki right here” satoru said. i knew satoru was going to eventually tell suguru but i didn’t think they would be so angry about it

“i- i can explain-“

“save it” suguru said, cutting yuta off

“because it’s my precious baby sister’s graduation today i’m going to let you slide. but we’ll have our time to talk” suguru said to a now very nervous yuta. suguru and satoru both turned to me and put smiles on their faces, as if they didn’t just threaten my boyfriend

“let’s go take these pictures!” suguru said as he turned me around and put his arm around my neck, satoru walking with us on my other side

“hello nice to meet you..again. i’m mai and this is my dear friend momo” mai said as she and momo came up to the three of us

“hello!” both satoru and my brother said

“do both you have girlfriends?” mai asked them. they both laughed as i ran my hand over my face, laughing at how straightforward she was being

“yes i have a girlfriend” suguru said

“nooooo” momo said

“what about you?” mai excitedly asked satoru

“mai..” i said in a warning tone

“kidding, i’m kidding” she said as she laughed, i laughed with her before all the parents started calling us as they had all of their camera’s ready to start taking pictures

after we all finished taking millions of photos, my friends and i all said goodbye to each other and went our separate ways

“okay so let’s get to the place for dinner! did you all drive here together?” my mom asked as we started walking towards the parking lot

“no we all drove our own cars” suguru told her

“oh okay, shoko were you coming with us to dinner?” my mom asked shoko

“i can’t i’m so sorry! today is also my cousin’s graduation and my family is having a bbq tonight” she told my mom

“aww man, i wanted you to come but it’s okay honey i understand!” my mom said as she gave shoko a hug

“are you coming to my party tomorrow?” i asked her

“of course girl” she said as she gave me a hug. she said goodbye to my dad, suguru and satoru and left to her car

“yuki’s still coming to dinner right suguru?” my dad asked him

“yeah her mom is dropping her off now. her little brother’s graduation finished up about an hour ago” he said. just then we saw a car pull up and yuki hopped out of the passenger’s side and ran over to us

“hi y/n! congratulations on your graduation! everyone is graduating today” she said and laughed as she gave me a hug and a gift

“thank you yuki! i missed you” i said as i hugged her back

“i missed you too sweetheart” she said

“great everyone is here! yuki you didn’t drive your car?” my mom asked

“no, suguru told me i can just ride with him when we left from my dorm” she said as she walked over and gave my parents a hug

“okay well then, suguru and satoru can just follow us to the restaurant” my dad said. satoru and suguru said okay and i started walking towards my parents car

“nah, you’re riding with me” satoru said as he grabbed my wrist. suguru and yuki were already getting in suguru’s car and my parents didn’t even turn around when satoru stopped me

“okay” i said and walked with satoru to his car. he took all my gifts and opened the door for me

“thank you” i said, suddenly feeling a little shy as i got into his car. he put my gifts on the back seat of his very expensive car and got in the drivers side and started the car. he pulled off and drove until he was behind suguru’s car, in which suguru was behind my parents car as they started to pull out of the parking lot

“you can connect your phone and play some music” satoru told me. i happily took out my phone and connected it to his bluetooth, turning on my favorite song. i turned down some so i could talk to satoru

“so… what did you think of yuta?” i said as i looked forward, watching the road with satoru

“i don’t like him” satoru said , keeping his response short

“really?” i asked, still not seeing why he doesn’t like him

“yes really. you’re too beautiful to be wasting your time on someone who won’t spend any time with you or even respond to your text messages. y/n he literally hangs out with another girl more than he hangs out with you… break up with him” satoru said as he glanced at me before looking back to the road

“yeah.. you’re right. i love him though” i said to satoru, turning my head to look at him while he drove the car. he looked so good in his white button up shirt and his black pants. his hair was shiny and his glasses sat right at the tip of his nose. he smelled so good and his lips looked so juicy. i mentally slapped myself, feeling ashamed looking at satoru like this when we’re literally in the middle of talking about my boyfriend. satoru stopped at a red light and turned to look at me

“you love him?” he asked me. my heart skipped. the atmosphere in the car suddenly changing

“y-yes i-“

“are you in love with him? or do you love having him around?” satoru asked me, cutting me off. i couldn’t give him an answer though. his question was similar to what nobara was saying the night of the sleep over

“he’s not a good boyfriend y/n” satoru said as he faced the road again, the light now green

“he was at first” i told him

“how so?” he asked

“when you left me heartbroken and alone, he helped me get over my depression and heart break” i said to him, hoping the conversation didn’t get depressing because of me bringing up satoru rejecting me

“he saw an opportunity and took it” satoru said, thankfully not changing the mood into a depressing one

“what? how?” i asked, my attention fully on satoru

“you were sad and gullible. he most likely had a crush on you or some type of attraction towards you. when he found out that i rejected you and then moved away for college he jumped at the opportunity to make you his and it worked” satoru explained. i listened to his words, happy to be getting a male’s perspective on the situation

“i’m not saying that he didn’t or doesn’t love you, but he definitely took advantage of you” satoru said. i nodded my head, seeing exactly how that could have happened. satoru is definitely right

“but enough about him. you look beautiful tonight, even with a little bit of your makeup smeared from all that crying” satoru said as he laughed

“that’s because i was overwhelmed with happiness” i told him, smiling at him calling me beautiful

“you’ve been complimenting me a lot lately” i told satoru, my smile getting bigger

“if your wack ass boyfriend won’t do it then i have to” he said and laughed

“hey toru… why didn’t riko come with you guys?” i asked him, wondering why he hasn’t brought up riko once since i’ve seen him. he stayed silent for a few seconds before he answered

“because she’s not my girlfriend anymore” he simply said

“what??! why not?” i asked, but i couldn’t help the small smirk that came to my lips after hearing that they broke up

“because she cheated on me, i never found out with who though. i broke up with her like 6 months ago” he said

“she… cheated on you?! when i catch her i’m beating her ass. why would she cheat on you? you’re so kind and sweet… not to mention how attractive you are! i’ve never met a more attractive guy in my life. i don’t understand why she would cheat on you” i said, pissed off that she cheated on satoru. did she even realize how lucky she was to be with him? i heard satoru start to laugh

“you’re so cute when you’re mad” satoru said as he turned into the parking lot of the restaurant, still behind suguru’s car

“maybe it’s because we were both busy with school. a little after we starting dating i realized we didn’t have as much in common as i originally thought” he told me as he pulled into a parking spot. before i could say anything else satoru spoke up again

“ready to go eat?” he said with a smile, i figured he didn’t want to speak about the topic anymore so i didn’t ask anymore questions

———————

after the very delicious dinner we all walked back to the parking lot

“satoru you’re staying at our house right?” my dad asked

“if that’s fine with you” satoru said and smiled at my dad

“of course! we had the guest room prepared just for you!” my mom said excitedly as my dad laughed

“okay i’ll be there then!” satoru said and laughed with my dad

“great! well your father and i are going to the airport now, we’ll see you in a few days sweetie” my mom said as she pulled me into a hug

“have fun at your party, i feel much better knowing your brother and satoru will be there” my dad said as he gave me a hug as well

“i will, love you guys! thank you for everything” i said to them. they said their goodbyes to everyone else and got back in their car

“i’m going to go back with yuki to her parents house for a few hours to spend time with her family since they’re also celebrating a graduation today. y/n you have your house key right?” suguru said

“yeah” i told him. he nodded and pulled me into a hug

“okay then, i’ll most likely be back home tomorrow morning. i’m sure we’re gonna be drinking tonight so i might sleep over at yuki’s house” he said as he broke the hug

“take care of my sister satoru” suguru said as he dabbed up satoru. i gave yuki and hug and said bye to her as suguru opened the door for her as they got into his car. satoru and i left shortly after

once we got to the house all the maids had already left for the night. i turned on the living room lights and took my heels off, holding all my graduation gifts in one hand. satoru came in after me, locking the front door and taking his shoes off

“damn, it’s been so long since i’ve been here” he said, carrying his small suitcase with him

“how long are you staying here for?” i asked him as i started walking upstairs to my room, satoru following me

“only a few days” he said

“why not longer? a few days isn’t enough time” i said to him as i reached my room door

“you want me to stay longer?” he asked me as he stood at my door, leaning his tall body against my door frame

“of course i do” i said as i sat my gifts down and looked at him as i sat down on my bed

“hmmmm….you can drive with me back to my apartment and i’ll grab more clothes and stuff to stay here longer” he told me. i jumped up and ran to give him a hug

“yayyy! yes i’ll definitely come with you! can we ride by your college? i’ve never seen it” i said. satoru laughed at my excitement

“you could’ve came to visit me, it’s only an hour and a half drive from here” he said

“yeah but you never came to visit me either” i said

“fair” he said and threw his hands up in defeat

“so what do you want to do tonight? i have edibles” he asked me as he opened his suitcase, pulling a bag of edibles out

“really? let’s take some” i said excitedly

“look at how excited you are over some edibles” satoru laughed as he opened the bag and gave me one before eating one himself

“thank you!” i told him

“you’re welcome. i’m going to go put my stuff in the guest room and hop in the shower really quick” satoru said to me as he placed the bag of edibles on my bed

“i’ll keep these out just in case we end up wanting to take more” satoru said

“okay, i’ll hop in the shower too then” i told him. he nodded and walked away to the guest bedroom. i walked over to my bathroom and turned on the shower water before taking off my make up so i could use my face cleaners in the shower

——— ——

after my shower i put lotion and my pjs on. i grabbed my phone before i turned off my room light and walked downstairs to see satoru in his pjs sitting on the couch on his phone. he looked up at me once he heard me coming down the stairs

“damn, girls take forever to shower” he said while laughing. i walked over to him with a smile on my face, his hair was damp and he didn’t have his glasses on so his beautiful blue eyes were staring right at me

“put those blue lights away, i can’t focus while looking at your bright ass eyes” i said, teasing him

“oh wow, i can’t believe you took it there” satoru said, acting hurt as he put his hand over his heart before we both bursted out laughing. after we stopped laughing satoru suggested that we play just dance. i started up the wii and we played just dance for an hour before we were tired and hungry again

“i think the edible is making me hungry” satoru said as he took his phone out

“what do you want to eat? i’ll order whatever you want” satoru said as he looked at me

“ummm, lets just get pizza and drinks” i told him

“oh! and some ice cream too please?” i asked him

“okay” he said as he went on uber eats and started ordering the food. while he was ordering the food i got a text on my phone. i looked and saw yuta had texted me. i unlocked my phone and saw he had sent me a long message with 2 photos and a video attached to it. i immediately began reading the message

‘hey y/n, i’m just texting to tell you that i’m breaking up with you. i’ve been wanting to break up with you for a while now but i felt bad because of how miserable you were. you texting me multiple times a day and always trying to hang out became overwhelming. that night when we played truth or dare i was going to tell you the truth about maki and i. she’s actually my ex girlfriend, we broke up because we had grown apart and a little after we broke up i had found you. you were cute and also going through a heart break so in order to get my mind off of maki i decided to try and date you. maki and i ended up meeting a few weeks after we started dating and had sex. i’ve been having sex with maki at least twice a week since then, we were each other’s first times so our bond is extremely strong. i asked you if you still had feeling for gojo because i wanted to make myself feel better about cheating on you knowing you still had slight feelings for another guy, so i continued acting like i loved you. i wanted to tell you this in person but your brother and that gojo guy scares the living shit out of me, so over text it is. i would appreciate it if you didn’t contact me again after this, or maki as we’re back together again. i’ll block you after this message sends. goodbye’

my face was full of tears after i finished reading the message. i then clicked on the pictures and video he had sent. in the first photo, him and maki were in bed together as he laid in between her legs. their clothes were off and it looked like he was in the middle of giving maki head. the second photo was a picture of maki giving yuta head. by this point i was on the verge of hyperventilating, but i still forced myself to watch the video…. the video was a sex tape of maki and yuta. the phone was propped up on something so i had a full body view of them both having sex. to make matters worst the sound was on, so i could hear both of them moaning. satoru turned to look at me, confused and wondering what i was watching. before he could ask any questions, he saw me crying and was in a state of panic

“y/n what happened? are you okay?” he asked. i couldn’t answer him, instead i threw myself at him and cried in his arms. satoru, still confused, started rubbing my back trying to console me even without knowing what was going on

“you were right” i finally said through broken sobs once i calmed down enough to speak

“right about what?” he asked. i slowly sat back up, breaking the hug as i gave him my phone. he looked at it and i watched his face go from confusion, to shock, to anger within seconds. i then saw him tap the screen and swipe, so i assumed he was looking at the photos and the video now. i heard moaning coming from the phone before satoru got off the video and let out a frustrated sigh

“that fucking asshole. i knew i should have punched him in his fucking face when i saw him tonight. i knew it!” satoru said, completely furious now. i stayed silent as i watched satoru grab his phone and press a few things on the screen before he put the phone to his ear. after a few seconds i heard suguru’s voice on the other side of the phone saying hello

“suguru, you’ll never believe what y/n’s bitch ass ex boyfriend just did” satoru said as he stood up, pacing around the living room with his phone to his ear and my phone still in his other hand. satoru then explained in detail what yuta did, he even reread the breakup message he sent me to suguru over the phone. i couldn’t hear exactly what suguru was saying but from the tone of his voice, he sounded just as mad as satoru

“don’t worry about it i’ll take care of her tonight…. yeah…. okay i will. enjoy your night with yuki and her family……yeah we’ll figure it out tomorrow when you get here….okay” i watch satoru as he continued speaking to suguru on the phone. i got up and walked to the downstairs bathroom, splashing water on my face before looking at myself in the mirror. luckily i didn’t look too terrible. i was having such a fun night just for yuta to ruin it. as i stood in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, i began to really think about what just happened. because of how strained our relationship has been the last couple of weeks, i’m not necessarily sad about the breakup as i was going to eventually breakup with him because of how the relationship was. i’m more upset over how he decided to break up with me… not only did one of my friends betray me, lie to me, and sleep with my boyfriend. but he cheated on me our entire relationship and then sent pictures and videos of it. i was hurt, i was annoyed, but most of all… i was angry. how could they do this to me? i’ve been nothing but kind and loyal to the both of them. I didn’t get close with maki until after yuta and i started dating, i never even knew they used to date. i tried to calm myself down by splashing more water on my face

“satoru is finally back out here after being away for so long. i’m not going to let them ruin our night” i said to myself. i took one last look at myself in the mirror before i walked out of the bathroom. once i made it back to the living room i saw that satoru was off of the phone with suguru. he was sitting back down on the couch and was taking pictures of my phone with his phone

“hey how are you feeling? you okay?” he asked me as he looked up at me

“i’m okay” i told him as i sat down next to him on the couch

“i’m taking pictures of his contact information and maki’s. me and suguru will be contacting them later, don’t you worry” he said as he tapped my head. i saw him take a picture of maki’s phone number before he handed me back my phone. i laughed at him before giving him another hug

“i’m not going to let them ruin our fun night” i said to him

“good! i ordered the food already, it should almost be here by now. should we find a movie to watch while we eat?” satoru asked

“yeah!, i’m going to eat another edible too, that whole situation ruined my high” i said as i stood up to go grab the bag off my bed

“can you grab me one too please?” he asked. i said yeah as i made my way upstairs. i grabbed the edibles off of my bed and popped one in my mouth. i then walked back downstairs and sat back down by satoru. he grabbed an edible and i took another one. after all that just happened i wanted to get fucked up and forget about it all

“okay how about this movie?” satoru asked as he landed on a funny movie. i said okay and he pressed play. right when the movie was starting the door bell rung. satoru paused the movie before he got up and grab everything from the uber eats person before thanking them and closing the door

“i gave them an $100 tip on the app, they must’ve been hella happy because they drove over here fast” satoru said as we laughed. i helped him bring everything to the coffee table in the middle of the living room

“i’m going to go put the ice cream in the freezer” i told him. he nodded okay and i walked to the kitchen. after i put the ice cream away i grabbed two glasses for us to drink out of. i dimmed the lights so we could watch the movie but still see our food. i sat down on the couch and we began eating our food while the movie started playing. after 30 minutes of watching the movie i began to feel dizzy. almost like i didn’t have any control of my body. everything around me seemed different and i knew the edible had kicked in. i started laughing at nothing in particular, just laughing uncontrollably. satoru turned to look at me and started smiling

“y/n… you’re high as hell right now. your eyes are super low” he said and started laughing

“so are you.. your eyes are super red” i told him and laughed again

“yeah but i’m not as high as you, i have a higher tolerance” satoru said

“i’m craving something sweet. you want your ice cream?” satoru asked as he stood up. i nodded and he went to get our ice cream. we ate our entire thing of ice cream in 20 minutes

“toru im boredddd” i said, no longer wanting to watch the movie

“me too, what should we do?” he asked

“let’s play hide and seek in the dark!” i said excitedly while laughing

“okay, i’ll count first. you hide” satoru said. i jumped up off the couch and began turning off any remaining lights in the house. satoru turned the tv off and started counting with his eyes closed. the only light we had was the moon light that came in from the windows. i tried to run up stairs but it was hard because of how high i was. by time i finally reached the top step i heard satoru say 29

‘…30, ready or not here i come!” he said as he immediately started coming upstairs. i bursted into my room and hid under the covers on my bed

“you can’t play hide and seek when you’re high y/n, you’re way too loud” i heard satoru say as he laughed. he was standing right in front of my bed

“no fair! you cheated” i said. satoru laid down next to me, trapping me underneath the covers

“why would i cheat?” he said. i wiggled free from underneath the blankets. i turned on my led lights with my remote and then turned to look at him

“because you know that i would’ve beaten you” i said as i looked back at my remote, turning my led’s to the color pink

“nah, i’d win” he said before laughing again

“i want a rematch” i whined. satoru was about to answer but his phone started to ring. he pulled it out of his pocket before he answered the phone

“yeah she’s okay now…she’s right here…okay” satoru said before he handed the phone to me. i took it

“hello?” i said

“you feeling okay?” suguru asked me

“yes i’m fine” i told him

“okay, i was just checking up on you. don’t worry, i’ll beat yuta’s ass for you” suguru said. i laughed at him before telling him to hang up because me and satoru were playing a game. we said our love you’s before we hung up

“are you really okay though?” satoru asked me. i handed him back his phone as he stared at me. he was still laying down on my bed, looking up at me as i was sitting up

“yeah” i said

“he didn’t deserve you y/n. you’re a good girl, you deserve someone who’s going to take care of you and love you unconditionally” satoru said as he sat up, not breaking eye contact with me. i wanted to say something but my words were stuck in my throat. i don’t know if it was because of satoru or the weed, but my body started to feel tingly

“someone who will protect you, and cater to your every need. be there to wipe the tears off of your pretty face” satoru continued as he gently touched my cheek with the palm of his hand

“toru…”

“someone who will make love to you. send you cute little texts throughout the day. bring you treats just to see you smile. take you out on dates” he said as he used his other hand to touch my other cheek. i watched as his face was now inches away from mine. i felt like my heart had completely stopped beating

“and the only man who can do that for you is me” he said before he gently kissed me. i was so shocked that for the first 2 seconds of the kiss i was completely still. after i got over the initial shock i kissed him back. after a few seconds, he pulled back. we stared at each other for a minute while we caught our breaths before i leaned forwards and kissed him again, in which he immediately kissed me back. this time satoru put his tongue in my mouth. the feeling of his tongue against my tongue made me moan. i put both of my hands in satoru’s hair and he gently laid me on my back, my head now resting on my pillow. satoru broke the kiss and looked at me for a second before he started kissing me neck. i moaned again, a little louder this time. my hands still in his hair. i’ve never experienced this feeling before in my life. i could feel satoru’s dick against my leg. i moved down slightly so that it was touching right where i wanted him. i started grinding myself against him and closed my eyes at how good it felt.

“f-fuck, you’re killing me y/n” satoru said as he stopped kissing and sucking my neck and looked at me. the eye contacting we were holding was enough to make me cum right then and there. satoru put both of his hands on my hips to keep them firmly in place. he then started to slowly grind himself against my pussy as i wrapped my legs around his waist. i was so thankful that we both had thin pjs on. my eyes rolled to the back of my head

“oh my go- toru don’t stop… yes” i moaned, now gripping his hand that was pinning my hips down against the bed

“fuckkk… you look so sexy right now” satoru said as he looked down at me. i could feel his dick getting harder and harder by the second

“toru… please fuck me” i said between moans. satoru groaned at my words before he bent back down, kissing me again. his hips kept grinding against me, his pace quickening

“please…please..please toru please” i said, begging him to fuck me. i reached in-between our bodies until i felt the waistband of satoru’s pants. i was about to put my hand inside of his pants before satoru grabbed my hand, stopping my movements. he stopped moving against me and just looked at me for a few seconds, catching his breath

“are you a virgin?” he asked me

“n-no” i said, avoiding eye contact because of the embarrassment of still being a virgin

“don’t lie to me y/n” satoru said

“yes…” i answered, still not making eye contact

“y/n…. i can’t have sex with you” satoru said as he sat full up, i sat up after him

“why not? it it because i’m a virgin? i can take it i promise” i told him. he laughed at me before speaking

“you being a virgin is a small reason why, but not the main reason” he said

“then why?” i asked him

“i don’t want to upset suguru. he would kill me. plus you’re high right now… how do i know that this is what you actually want and it’s not just the weed making you feel this way?, how do i know you actually want me to be your first time?” he said as he laid down on the other side of my pillow

“what?! how would suguru even find out? i won’t tell him” i said as i turned to look at him

“i already left a hickey on your neck. i wasn’t thinking, i got too caught up in the moment” satoru said as he pointed to the hickey on my neck

“i don’t care what he says. i’m 18 now i can do whatever i want!” i said, slightly frustrated that satoru was making it seem like i can’t do anything with my brother’s permission

“y/n…”

“i want you satoru. i’ve never wanted someone so much before in my entire life… it’s always been you. i want you to want me too” i said to him. he was silent for a little bit before he grabbed me by my arm and had me lay down on his chest

“trust me y/n, i want you. i just want to wait for the right moment to take you…because once i fuck you, you’re mine forever” he said. i looked up at him, heart fluttering at his words

“ your boyfriend just broke up with you.. i don’t want you acting rashly. you’re also a virgin so i feel like you might be in a rush to lose your virginity… an 18 year old virgin.. i can’t believe it” satoru said, teasing me. i lightly slapped him on the chest

“not funny” i said. he laughed and grabbed my face before he pulled me into a passionate kiss

“this isn’t fair. you got me all worked up and horny just for you not to fuck me” i told him

“did that yuta guy ever make you cum?” satoru asked me. i shook my head no

“no, we never did anything sexual… he was too busy fucking maki and eating her out” i said and rolled my eyes

“so… you’ve really never gotten head before?” satoru asked

“no. never” i told him honestly. the look in his eyes changed

“lay down” he told me. i opened my mouth to ask why before he cut me off

“now. and take your pants off” he said. i immediately did what he said, feeling excited. i watched satoru get on his knees and then open my legs. i immediately covered my pussy with my hands, feeling extremely shy even though my panties were still on. satoru started laughing

“don’t be shy now” he teased. he slowly removed my hands

“relax baby, i’m going to take good care of you” he said as he slowly pulled my panties down. my embarrassment started to slowly dissipate as i got more horny looking at him

“you’re this wet after a little bit of dry humping?” he asked while laughing

“shut up toru” i said, a smile on my face. satoru took my panties all the way off, throwing them on the floor with my pants before he looked me in the eyes

“are you sure?” he asked me, any hints of joking completely gone

“positive toru” i said as i smiled at him. he smiled back at me and laid down on his stomach. he slowly ran his finger in between my folds before he stopped at my clit. he started rubbing slow circles on my clit. i bit my lip so i wouldn’t be too loud. i started breathing harder as my heart starting racing faster

“i wanna hear your pretty moans baby” he said. before i could respond to him i felt his warm tongue lick up my pussy. he ran his tongue back down before going up again, this time stop at my clit and circling it with his tongue. his lips then latched onto my clit and he began sucking on it. my hands immediately went to his hair as i started tugging on it. i sat up some to watch him, moaning flying out of my mouth every second. satoru looked up at me and kept suck on my clit without breaking eye contact with me

“toru… you look so fucking good… don’t stop baby” i said, moaning his name. he moaned, clearly turned on by my moans. the vibration from his voice made my body jump in shock and pleasure. he used his left hand to grab my thigh to keep my legs apart as his right hand came up and started massaging my other thigh. satoru stopped sucking on my clit and sat up on his knees again, his face was glistening with my wetness mixed in with his spit. i was about to ask him why he stopped before an entirely new sensation ripped through my body. satoru put one of his fingers inside of me

“t-toru” i said, out of breath

“let me know if you want me to stop or if it’s too much for you okay?” he said as he looked at me, i nodded my head and felt him start to move his finger in and out of me. satoru never took his eyes off of me, he watched every reaction i had to this fingers. he then slowly entered another finger and then a third. my face was full of tears, it felt so good, my mind couldn’t catch up with the pleasure. i had my eyes screwed shut, moaning uncontrollably as i begged satoru not to stop. his pace began to pick up

“fuck… you’re so tight” satoru said while biting his lip. i felt him start to hump against my leg, feeling just how hard he was. i started to feel a weird feeling in my lower abdomen

“toru-“ i said but all the words were knocked out of my body as satoru had began sucking on my clit again as his finger’s continued pumping in and out of me

“satoru… satoru!! i’m going to cum” i yelled, my back arching off of the bed. after a few more seconds, i came. satoru kept fingering me and sucking on my clit until i was too sensitive to take anymore

“so how was it?… let me guess… spectacular?” satoru said as he looked at me, sitting back up with a big grin on his handsome face. i smiled

“more than that” i said as i pulled him on top of me by his shirt and kissed him. he kissed me back and we made out for a little bit. after he pulled away i yawned, now suddenly feeling very tired

“are you tired now?” satoru asked me

“a little” i told him, getting comfortable in bed

“put your pants back on before your brother walks in here tomorrow morning and sees you” he said as he laughed, standing up and grabbing my clothes off the floor before handing them to me. i lazily grabbed the clothes and began putting my panties back on without getting all the way out of bed. i saw satoru walk over towards the bedroom door

“where are you going?” i asked him, stopping my movements

“to double check that the front door is locked and then to my room” he said as he turned to look at me

“can’t you sleep in here tonight?” i asked him

“you want me to sleep in here?” he asked me. i quickly nodded my head and he smiled

“okay, let me go check the front door and then i’ll be back” he said before he disappeared into the hallway. i continued putting my panties on and then my pants before i got comfortable again in my bed and waited for satoru to come back. after a little bit longer, satoru walked through my door, closing it behind him

“sorry it took a little longer, i had to grab my charger from my suitcase” he said

“it’s okay” i said and smiled at him.

“i brought your phone from downstairs too” he said as he handed me my phone. i told him thank you as i turned and put it on the charger. i read the time and saw that it was 3:21am. i heard satoru plug his charger into the socket before putting his phone on the charger and then placing his phone down on the dresser on the other side of my bed. he then laid down next to me. i scooted over until my head was against his chest. i looked up at him as he looked down at me. i couldn’t believe satoru was laying in my bed right now

“goodnight toru”

“goodnight princess”

———————

WHEWWWWW this chapter was longgggg, it literally took me 6 straight hours to type out, i make up the chapters as i go so it takes a while. it’s probably gonna be a few days until i get the next chapter out. while i was typing this chapter i kinda felt like y/n’s aging was confusing. she turned 15 and was a sophomore but she graduated and is 18? so lets just act like all of that makes sense, since i didn’t realize my mistake until now lol. anyways i hope you all enjoyed this chapter, i’m not very good at writing smut scenes. please let me know if it was bad lmaooo, see y’all in the next chapter… byeeee

#gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojou satoru x reader #jjk #jjk smut #jjk suguru #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu gojo #smut #yuta okkotsu #maki zenin #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jujustu kaisen #yuki jjk #gojo smut #satoru smut

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brewsterispunkk · 11 months

Text

THE TUTOR

part 4/4

pairing: eddie munson x f!reader, eddie munson x inexperienced!reader

WC: 4.5k

summary: the end

warnings: smut! 18+! proceed at your own risk!

A/N: It’s finally here!! Thank you for ur patience and support!!!! I hope this doesn’t disappoint!! also—send me eddie asks if u dare . hope you enjoy . xx, lucia 💖

4/4

You woke up with a pounding headache.

Your brain felt like it was splitting beneath your skull and your tongue felt like sandpaper. You yawned, trying to stretch out in your bed, before your feet hit something.

You blinked your eyes open and quickly realized you were in Robin’s living room, on her parents’ burgundy velvet couch.

You coughed, registering the room around you.

It was a room you’d woken up in a thousand times before: the same velvet couch, the same lacy curtains, the old box TV in the corner, the shag carpet that hadn’t been changed since the seventies. And there, sprawled out on the loveseat across from you, was Robin, sleeping with her mouth open.

You would’ve laughed had you not been so hungover.

You groaned, glancing at the clock.

11:00 a.m., it said.

Shit, you thought. My mom is going to kill me.

“Psst!” You looked at Robin, scrambling to sit up. “Rob!”

“Mmph,” she grumbled, half-asleep, rolling over on the loveseat.

“I’m going home,” you whispered to her. “I’ll call you later!”

You found your combat boots laid neatly by the front door, side by side.

You puzzled.

You never laid your shoes neatly like that–you always threw them haphazardly by the door. So much so that your mom always gave you hell about it. And Robin was even more messy than you. So, who had brought you home last night?

You tried to think back, but found you couldn’t remember anything past nearly vomiting on Eddie’s shoes.

Eddie.

You had nearly forgotten. What had happened after you vomited last night? You couldn’t remember.

You felt your stomach drop.

Oh god, had you said something?

You felt your stomach turn from something other than the alcohol.

Did you say something to him? You paled at the thought. The thought of it all coming to light like that. The thought of it coming to light at all.

Shit, shit, shit.

You needed to fix this. Or rather, find out if there was something to fix.

Picking up your speed, you sped-walked to your own house, two doors down from Robin’s, earning you a concerned look from Ms. Eldstrom across the street.

You didn’t care though—nothing else was running through your mind. The thought of your own bed and pain reliever and good sleep had worn off. Now, all you cared about was calling Eddie and fixing whatever damage you’d done.

- - -

You sighed, receiver to your ear, the tone droning through the top.

After an apologetic explanation to your mother, you’d gotten away with a minor lecture before she was off to work. You’d showered, changed, and practically run to the phone.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” you mumbled.

You huffed, ready to give up, before you heard the familiar click.

“Hello?” His voice was unmistakable, even through the phone.

“Eddie?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

“Yeah, I got that,” he joked half-heartedly. The usual jovial lilt wasn’t present in his voice. “You just waking up?”

“Yeah,” you said sheepishly. “I just came home from Rob’s. Did you help me home last night?”

“You don’t remember?” Eddie sounded surprised, and your heart leapt.

What had happened?

“Uh, no,” you said into the receiver. “Whatever was in that jungle juice did the trick.”

“Hmm,” Eddie hummed.

“But hey,” you tried to lighten the mood. “We can cross that off the list now.”

“Yeah.”

There was another pause as you waited for him to continue. Okay, something was definitely up with him.

You inhaled sharply.

“So, uh, do you wanna hang out later?”

“Huh,” Eddie laughed on the other line. “And what? We can’t cross much off the list on a Saturday.”

“Oh…” you trailed off. “I didn’t mean for the list… I just meant as… friends.”

It sounded like a question. You mentally kicked yourself. God, that was so stupid. Of course he would think this was just for the list.

“Oh,” Eddie sounded surprised. “Okay, of course.”

“So you’re free later?”

“Uhm, not exactly,” Eddie sounded dejected. “I’ve got work.”

“Work?” You snorted. “Since when do you work?”

“Well, not work, sales.” He stressed. “You know.”

“Oh,” you stated. “Work.”

“Work.”

A drug deal, duh. You’d nearly forgotten about Eddie’s side hustle.

“Okay,” you sighed. “Another time then.”

“Wait!” Eddie rushed into the phone. “I’ll be done around..eight? Wanna come over after? Maybe watch a movie?”

“Sure,” you smiled into the receiver. “That sounds good.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

“Ok,” you said. “And Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm sorry about getting so drunk last night. That couldn’t have been fun for you.”

There was another pause—one you could cut with a knife—and you wondered if you’d said something wrong.

“Yeah,” Eddie laughed mirthlessly on the other end. “It’s alright, sweetheart. It’s what I’m here for.”

Your heart sank at his tone. It was resigned and almost.. sad?

What the hell could have happened to have made such a switch in him? You weren’t sure, but tonight you would find out. You’d beat it out of him if you had to.

“Okay. See you tonight.”

“See ya.”

- - -

It was freezing when you walked up to the trailer, the warm light from the lamp shining down on you in the snow.

It was snowy. The winter weather had kept away for most of November and December, but had come in fast in the past week. The result was about twelve inches of snow on the ground and more coming from the sky in thick flurries.

You blew warm air into your hands before sighing and knocking again, a little more frantically this time.

“C’mon, Eddie—“

Your chattering was cut off by Eddie swinging the door open. You jumped.

“Hey!” He said, moving aside and waving you in. “Hey, sorry. I was in the bathroom. Come in, it’s freezing.”

“You’re telling me,” you said as you shuffled into the entryway.

You shook off your wet scarf and shrugged out of your jacket before hanging it on the hook by the door. You kicked off your shoes like you’d done the few times before when you’d been over to the trailer.

He was wearing grey sweatpants and a Metallica Kill ‘Em All t-shirt that was obviously a few years old. It was faded and had a hole in the collarbone. The sleeves and shoulders stretched sinfully over his chest. God was testing you, you were sure of it.

“Get over here okay?” Eddie asked, walking over to the kitchen. He opened a cabinet, pulling out two mugs and walking over to a coffee pot, half full with steaming coffee. “It’s coming down out there.”

“I biked.”

There was a silence.

“You what?”

“I biked over; it’s not too far—“

“Jesus, sweetheart!” Eddie handed you a cup of coffee with cream, pressing his hands over yours once you’d taken hold of the mug. “You’re freezing. You’re lucky you didn’t get frostbite.”

“You’re dramatic.”

“So I’ve been told,” he cast you a look before retrieving his own cup from the kitchen counter. “I’ll drive you back. No way am I letting you bike home in this.”

You rolled your eyes half-heartedly, touched by his concern.

“Fine. But only because I nearly froze my ass off out there.”

“Glad we can agree on something,” he leaned toward you teasingly. You playfully nudged him. “You got any ideas for what’s next on the list? I’m pretty sure all we have left is ‘get a boyfriend’—“

“Oh god, stop right there.” You covered your face with your hands.

“What?” Eddie asked. “You put it on the list.”

“And I’m regretting it, too.”

“Oh please,” he pulled your hands from your face. “Really, it’s fine. Besides, I saw you crossed something out next to it. If you want, we could do whatever that was—“

Oh god, you thought as you remembered what you’d almost included on your bucket list.

“No.” You covered up the hard tone you used with a cough. “No, that’s fine. Forget that.”

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.”

“Eds—“

“I mean, really you’re like one of my best friends anyway—“

“Eddie.” You stopped him and he looked at you expectantly. “It’s okay.”

“Come on, will you please tell me?”

“Not tonight,” you shook your head at him, willing your blush to go away.

“Hmm, so maybe another time?”

“Maybe.”

His eyes held yours for a moment, wry and scrutinizing. He was trying to guilt it out of you, you knew it, but you wouldn’t budge. You were already going to embarrass yourself enough tonight anyway, the last thing you needed was to add another thing.

“So,” you got up, walking toward the couch. “What’s on the docket for tonight?”

“Hm,” Eddie got up, following you in. “I got a few things from Family Video, but I have some stuff in the cabinet too if you wanna look through those.”

You hummed, getting up to kneel in front of the T.V. The T.V. stand held a variety of VHS tapes. There were the few that were obviously Wayne’s—old westerns and golden age movies—and then there was the majority of the others which belonged to Eddie.

You grabbed a stack of what looked like horror flicks and began looking through them.

“Did you run into Robin at Family Video?” You asked, moving a Halloween VHS to the bottom of the stack.

“No,” Eddie hummed from behind you. “She wasn’t in.”

“How about Steve? I think he was on shift.”

There was a pause, the only sound being the heating unit humming in the background.

You sucked in a sharp breath, hands skimming to a stop over the VHS tapes.

Was that what this was about? Steve?

Of course it was. Eddie had told you how uncomfortable Steve made him, and you’d left him at the party anyway. You were such an awful friend. You’d gone and gotten drunk, while Eddie—

“Yeah,” he coughed. “Harrington was there. That was awkward as hell.”

You turned around, eyebrows scrunched together in apology.

“I’m sorry.” You said. “I didn’t mean for it to be like that.”

“What?” Eddie looked at you confusedly from his place on the couch.

“Steve.” You said, and Eddie looked down. “He makes you uncomfortable and I left you there with him the other night. I’m sorry, I—“

“Wait.” Eddie put his hands out. “What are you talking about?”

“Last night,” you sat cross legged in front of him. “I left you with Steve. And then I got drunk and whatever I said, Eddie, I’m sorry, I don’t remember any of it.”

“Sweetheart, what are you talking about?” Somewhere during your word-vomit, Eddie had walked over to you and sat in front of you. His hands found your shoulders.

“Please,” he continued. “I’m not scared of Steve Harrington. You didn’t do anything wrong. We went to that party to get drunk, and that’s what you did. Why would I be mad at you for that?”

You blanched.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“You wouldn’t be here if I was mad at you.”

“Then why have you been acting so strange?”

Eddie blinked, taken aback. His brown eyes darted from you to the rings on his hands.

“I haven’t.”

“You’re shit liar.”

Eddie scoffed.

“C’mon, Eds,” you pushed. “The looks, the freakin’ silences? Since when do we have awkward silences?”

“Look,” he stood up, hands on his hips. “It’s nothing, okay? It’s none of my business.”

You followed him standing up in pursuit. He’d begun to pace back and forth across the living room.

“What? What isn’t your business?”

“Nothing, just—“

“Just what?”

“You and Steve!” He stopped suddenly and whirled around to face you. You stumbled, realizing how close the two of you were.

“Me and Steve?” You asked incredulously. “There is nothing going on between me and Steve.”

“I know,” Eddie sighed, hands flopping to his sides. “I saw the way you looked at him last night, making out with that girl.”

You just stared at him. His eyes looked pained, pleading. He looked at you intently as he continued.

“You looked so sad.” Eddie gave you a knowing look. “You’re into him—a blind man could see it. And I guess—“

He cut himself off, shaking his head.

“You guess what?”

“I guess—I couldn’t look at that. You sad, bent out of shape over someone else.”

Your heart stuttered.

Someone else, he said. Did that mean…?

You started.

“Eddie, what?”

He furrowed his eyebrows.

“And then when you got sick and cried? I couldn’t handle that. Especially when that idiot couldn’t see what he had right in front of him—“

“I do not have feelings for Steve. I never have.” You interrupted, taking a step closer to him. “The reason I was crying last night was because I was drunk and I couldn’t find you.”

“You…”

You went out on a limb and grabbed his wrist, running your thumb over the inside.

“The only thing I cared about that night was that it was you holding my hair back.”

Eddie looked at you in disbelief.

“Are you saying…”

“Eddie,” you sighed.

You didn’t know what it was—maybe it was the coffee or the snow or the adrenaline that came from being this close to him—but whatever it was, it made you put it all on the table.

You pressed your hand to his chest as he looked at you with wide eyes. He was on bated breath, hanging on your every word.

“I have been absolutely pathetic over you since August when Ms Taylor assigned my seat next to yours.”

He opened his mouth to reply before closing it again, seemingly at a loss for words. His brows scrunched together and made a concerned wrinkle between them.

“You aren’t fucking with me?”

“Eddie—“

“Because if you’re fucking with me and this is some joke, that would be—“

Your cheeks heated up and embarrassment flooded your chest.

Oh god, you thought. He doesn’t feel the same way.

Abort mission, abort mission, abort mission—

You scrambled, backing away and dropping your hands from him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—you don’t have to say anything. I’ll just go—“

His arm on your waist cut you off.

With decisiveness, Eddie pulled you to his chest, one arm snaking around your waist and the other to your wrist. Before you could get a word in edgewise, his lips were on yours, soft and insistent.

He pressed them to yours firmly in a chaste kiss before he pulled back.

“I’ve wanted to do that for months,” he whispered to you. “You have no idea.”

You sighed and pressed your forehead to his. You shook your head.

“Eddie—“

His lips stopped your words.

This kiss was more insistent, passionate. His soft lips parted yours before his tongue dipped into your mouth. You sighed into it, bending into him. Your arms, which had been idle at your sides, ran up his arms and into his hair.

When your fingers scratched his scalp, Eddie moaned, a sound from deep in his throat, and jerked against you.

You giggled and pulled back, nose bumping his. He laughed with you, panting against your mouth.

“Sorry,” he breathed, before kissing the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then your jaw.

“It’s okay—oh,” you moaned when he reached the spot under your jawbone that made you weak in the knees.

Eddie hummed before honing in on the spot with his teeth.

“Ha,” you grabbed at his shoulder, your other hand going to the back of his neck.

“There?” He asked against the skin of your neck. You nodded absentmindedly, pulling his face back to yours.

He tasted like coffee and cigarettes and something sweet and uniquely Eddie. Your chest stuttered as he returned your kiss with enthusiasm.

He hummed, the vibrations tickling your lips as he kissed you deeper. His hands found your waist as he began to walk you backwards toward the couch.

You were overwhelmed—the sensation of Eddie against you and the confusion of walking backwards getting to you making you lose your footing.

Your mouth was separated from Eddie’s as you tripped over the stack of VHS tapes you’d gotten out only minutes earlier. You slipped, almost falling, before one of Eddie’s arms grabbed you full around the waist. You gasped, hands grabbing his forearms.

“Woah, woah,” he breathed into your mouth. “I got ya, I got ya.”

You nodded as he steadied you. He pressed a closed-mouthed kiss to your lips before pressing another one to your nose, then another to your cheekbone.

“C’mere,” he said, falling backwards on the couch.

Awkwardly, you straddled his knees, leaving some space between your chest and his. Your own hands sat idle on your thighs.

Eddie tentatively gripped your waist and brought you closer to him, before pressing a deep kiss to your mouth. His tongue teased the entrance of your mouth as he pulled your hips flush with his. He separated for a moment.

“This okay?” He asked, hands smoothing up your sides. You gripped his shoulders, out of breath with the sensation of having him here, so close to you. So warm, firm, pulsing and alive.

“Uh huh,” you nodded against his lips. “Just,” you paused as he moved open-mouthed kisses down your jaw and neck. “Just haven’t done this much.”

Eddie snorted into your neck.

“Yeah, alright.”

“No, really,” you breathed, only half-coherent. You were drunk on his scent. “I—I have only kissed one person. If I’m doing something wrong or—or weird, you gotta tell me.”

You were practically panting, grinding down on his obvious erection that poked through his sweatpants. Eddie paused, hands halting your hips’ movement.

“Wait,” he pulled back, hair crazed and eyes wide dazed. “You’re serious?”

“Uh,” you gulped, still catching your breath. “Is that okay?”

You let your hands drop from his shoulders to your thighs. Eddie Immediately grabbed them and pressed them to his chest.

“Y-Yeah, princess.” He pressed a short, deep kiss to your lips. “That’s perfectly fine. I just—I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Sorry,” you said lamely.

Eddie smiled at you, before kissing your nose lightly.

“Don’t be,” he pressed another kiss to your jawline. From here, you could smell his shampoo from his still-damp hair. It was addicting. “That just means this will be so much more fun.”

You sighed, his lips moving further down your neck. He stopped, focusing on a spot at the base of your throat and sucking. Unable to stop yourself, your hands went to his hair, gripping the curls.

He moaned into your neck, before nipping sharply at the spot.

You jerked in his lap as a jolt of pleasure tan through you. The noise you let out was something between a moan and squeak. You felt your cheeks heat up.

“Didn’t like that?” He asked, pressing a kiss to the spot.

“No,” you breathed. “I think I liked that a little too much.”

“Mmm,” he hummed, before going back to work. You sighed, and before you could even think about stopping yourself, the words started coming.

“God, Eddie,” you groaned, scratching his scalp. “Thought about this.”

Eddie’s hips jerked against you. He pulled away from your neck and peered up at you, eyes glassy.

“Yeah?” He pressed a kiss to your sternum. “What did you think about, baby?”

You moaned at the nickname. You felt him smirk against you.

“Oh, you liked that.”

You nodded. His lips trailed the hem of your shirt. “Tell me, baby. What did you think about?”

“You,” you said. “Your—your hands, your lips, your—your nose.”

They just came rushing out; you couldn’t stop. Eddie chuckled and you felt your cheeks heat ag your admission. He sucked at a spot on the top of your breast.

“Oh, you’re dirty.”

You nodded absentmindedly. His hands ran up your sides and under your shirt. His fingertips skated there hesitantly.

“Can I?” He asked, only a little bit aprehensive.

You reached for the bottom of your shirt, not even bothering with a response. Wordlessly, you threw it over your head.

For a moment, Eddie just stared at your bra-clad chest, big brown eyes unreadable. Your mouth went dry and you looked anywhere but him.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, you thought self-consciously, your arms moving to cross in front of you.

“Um,” you began, before his hands on your forearms stopped you.

“No, wait,” he gulped, eyes not leaving your chest. “Sun just—a bit starstruck.”

You sat there, watching him ogle your breasts before he tentatively placed his cande above them.

“Can—can I?”

You nodded, pressing his hands to you without thinking.

His heavy palms met your clothed chest and a broken sound left the back of Eddie’s throat. He palmed them, a pained look on his face as you sat in his lap.

“Oh my god,” he muttered. “I can’t believe this is happening to me. I can’t believe this is happening to me—“

“What?’ You breathlessly chuckled. Eddie pressed his forehead to your sternum, lightly squeezing your breasts in his hands.

“Can’t believe this is happening,” he pressed a kiss there. “Don’t deserve this, don’t deserve you.”

“Eddie—“

“Must’ve been a saint in a past life,” he mumbled, sucking a hickey to the top of your breast.

“Mm,” you mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

“Musta been a saint to get this.” He kissed your neck again. “God, you feel so good. So soft and warm and—-you smell so good, how do you always smell so good?”

“Don’t—don’t know.”

You were half coherent at this point, breathing out half-formed responses. Your whole body sang Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. All you could think about were his hands, his lips, his voice.

You were convinced that now that you’d had this small taste of him, you’d never be able to go back.

“Wanna make you feel good, sweetheart,” he pulled back to look you in the eye. “You gonna let me make you feel good?”

You met his glossy eyes and nodded, hanging on his every word.

“Okay,” he smiled, kissing your cheek. “Okay, sweetheart.”

“But, wait,” your hands met his shoulders. “What do I do? I don’t know what to do.”

“Hm,” he chuckled. “Who’s the tutor now?”

You lightly pushed his shoulder.

“Eddie, I’m serious!” You furrowed your eyebrows. “I don’t wanna mess up—“

“Shh, shh, okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He kissed your forehead. “You don’t have to do anything. Just sit there, perfect, just like now.”

You sucked in a breath and nodded.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he kissed you deeply before pulling back and whispering against your lips. “I’m gonna unbutton your pants now, okay?”

You nodded, your body tingling when you felt his nimble fingers against the zipper of your jeans.

“If you wanna stop at any point, tell me.”

You nodded again, before gasping when you felt the metal of his rings against the bottom of your belly. You jerked, unintentionally grinding your hips more into his. You felt his erection throbbing against your center.

“Oh, shit,” his hand retreated. “Sorry, I’ll take these off—“

“Wait!”

You grabbed his hands, eyes wide all of a sudden. He looked at you confusedly.

“Can you… keep them on?”

He looked at you for a moment before a glint lit up his eyes.

“Yeah?” He pulled you closer so there was almost no space between you. His large hands took ahold of your ass and squeezed. “You think about that? My rings?”

You gulped and nodded.

“Hm, okay,” he pressed a filthy kiss to your throat. “The rings stay on.”

When his fingers parted you, you were almost embarrassed by how slick you’d become, but any insecurity you had vanished when Eddie moaned brokenly into your neck.

“Mm, all this for me?”

“Y-yeah, Eddie,” you sighed.

“Good,” he nipped your throat. “Shit, that’s it.”

You mewled, grinding against his hand. “Let go. Take what you need, go on.”

You listened, audibly moaning when he pressed down on your nub.

You gasped, pressing kisses to his neck.

“Eddie, please,” you moaned, nails digging into his shoulder.

Underneath you, he had begun rutting against your hips mindlessly, gasping.

“That’s it, baby. Let go. That’s it, that’s it.”

It happened all at once. You clenched your eyes closed as you released, legs shaking around Eddie’s hips. Your hearing went fuzzy for a moment and you were sure you made the most embarrassing noise when you came. But if Eddie cared, he gave no indication. He only held you as you came down.

“Oh my god,” you panted when you came out of your haze .

“Oh my god,” Eddie repeated, somehow sounding more out of breath than you.

You caught your breath for a minute, before looking into his wide eyes. Instead of finding the confidence there that you usually did, you found apprehension. His wide brown eyes stared into yours. You surged foreword and kissed him more enthusiastically than you ever had.

“Mm,” he made a noise of surprise.

When you pulled back, you looked at him earnestly.

“I want you to know that I meant it,” you spit out. “I’ve been like, obsessed with you since August. You never had to convince me to tutor you because I would have anyway. I just wanted to spend time with you, I’m just—-not good at this kind of thing.”

Eddie looked at you sincerely, eyebrows scrunched, before laughing a little.

You furrowed your brows, confused, as he laughed, pressing his head into your shoulder. He pressed a kiss to your collarbone before pulling back and grabbing your face.

“Princess,” he sounded wrecked. “I’ve had a crush on you since your freshman year of high school when you let me borrow a pencil in Mr. Ortiz’s class.”

You blinked, dumb-founded.

All these years, Eddie had been pining for you—passing you in the halls and acting like he didn’t see you—and he hadn’t done a thing?

“But,” you blinked. “You never said anything.”

“Because I thought you hated me,” he leaned toward you.

“I didn’t!”

“I know that now,” he said. “But at the time it just seemed like the best option to…”

“Suffer in silence?”

“Yeah,” he cracked a smile.

You reached up and brushed an unruly curl from his forehead. He pressed his cheek into your hand and closed his eyes.

You smiled, before starting.

“Oh my god, Eddie.”

He hummed

“What about you?”

“What?”

“What about you?” You asked. “You didn’t… finish.”

Eddie looked at you sheepishly, palming your hips.

“Uh, about that… I did.”

“What? No, you—“

“Honey,” he looked you in the eyes. “I definitely did.”

Oh. You realized, and noticed his very obvious lack of a hard-on in his pants.

Your cheeks heated up before you felt a surge of satisfaction course through you. Yeah. You did that.

“So… about the bucket list.” You changed the subject.

“Fuck the bucket list,” he laughed, pulling you closer.

“Really?” You laughed with him.

“Uh, yes really. If you think I’m helping you get a boyfriend after that, you’re fucking wrong.”

“Hm, maybe we can find another way to cross it off…”

He smirked.

“That can be arranged.”

fin

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ssahotstuff · 1 year

Text

Day 11–Lactation

Aaron Hotchner x reader

Warnings: no smut just good ole domesticated lactation kink 😘

Word count: 1k

After the birth of your daughter, Aaron noticed the significant changes in your body first, and of course, he was completely adoring of you in every aspect, especially after something as rough as childbirth. He was constantly doting on you, making sure to remind you constantly of how beautiful and strong you were to be tackling the feat of motherhood. He kept you in high spirits, which is why it was so heartbreaking to see him going through a tough time.

He'd came home from a case involving children, which tore him to shambles, no matter how hard he tried to keep it together at work. He'd walked in the door and threw himself in your arms, holding you so tight that you could barely breathe. He eventually loosened his grip on you, his hands falling to your waist as he looked down at you, his eyes full of sorrow.

"Where are the kids?"

The house was especially quiet but you were getting a much needed break. You hadn't been away from her in six months, since she was born, but your aunt had offered to take the kids for the night so you could relax and get some rest, and you were quick to agree.

"They're with my aunt. They'll be back in the morning. Why don't we focus on taking care of you right now, hmm?" You led him to the bed, knowing good and well what he needed from you, although he wasn't too shy to come out and ask. You wouldn't make him, because you already knew. It had started when you made the decision to breastfeed—Aaron was incredibly interested, assembling your pump and reading the directions twice before you ever used it. He'd keep you company while you pumped at first, always nearby for moral support when you needed him. It wasn't until Mariella was about two months old that Aaron took you by surprise with his enthusiasm for a particular part of your new mom body. He'd always been obsessed with your breasts, laying on them, using them as a pillow when he watched tv, or playing with them during sex, sucking at your nipples for his own pleasure and yours. He didn't try to hide it, he was always extremely open with his desires, but you still couldn't hide the shock on your face when he'd first asked.

Mariella had just gotten to sleep in her crib so you and Aaron were making the most of the time alone with Jack at Jessica's. You were lying in bed naked, having just had sex for the first time since Mariella had been born, your world rocked entirely. Aaron was on your chest, toying with your nipple absentmindedly when it started to leak, droplets of milk rolling down your boob. He swiftly caught it with his thumb before looking up at you, plopping his finger in his mouth so he could taste. The sight was oddly erotic—you were taken aback slightly, and he seemed to be growing more bashful by the moment, blushing like mad in the lamplight.

"Does it taste funny?"

He shook his head, toying with your nipple once more, flicking it back and forth between his fingers until the same thing happened again, only this time his tongue darted out between his teeth to catch it, leaving a trail of warmth that filled your insides with butterflies.

"Can I—could I suck on them? Please, baby?" You went silent before giving him a small nod and he sighed in relief, his mouth immediately latching onto your breast. He groaned as your milk began to flow and fill his mouth, and he gladly sucked down every drop you could produce for him. His eyes closed, and the most serene look came over him; it was like every worry he had was instantly washed away.

"You look so good, Aaron. Wish I could take a picture," you breathed, and his eyes opened briefly, looking towards the bedside table.

"My phone is right there," your mouth fell open as his eyes shut once more, shocked that he'd allow you to snap a photo. You did it anyway, saving it for later, more focused on Aaron, who seemed to be having the time of his life. You ran your fingers through his hair, making him stop after a few minutes, a huff escaping his lips at the loss of contact.

"Just switch sides baby, you don't have to stop."

He repositioned his head so he could move to your other boob, your hand gently cupping his face until he went still, letting your nipple fall from his mouth, a bit of milk rolling down your chest. He was sound asleep, even snoring slightly, his arms wrapped around your waist, his head on your chest.

It had become a normal thing; you didn't even bat a lash at it anymore. It was something Aaron did for comfort, and you couldn't deny how it had solidified the bond you had with him tremendously, more trust and love in your relationship than most normal ones.

He started to strip, not stopping until he was left only in his boxers, letting you get comfortable against the headboard, a mound of pillows behind your back. You were quick to lift your tank top over your head, your breasts swollen and sensitive to the touch because your daughter had been gone and you hadn't pumped yet. Aaron was climbing between your legs, resting his head on your stomach before he took your nipple into his mouth, a hum of satisfaction leaving his lips when he finally had what he wanted. You gently brushed the hair away from his face, cupping his cheek tenderly as he sucked on your breast, his hand holding your boob to his mouth.

"You're such a good mama," he said through tired eyes, already starting to flutter shut—it could put him to sleep so quickly, Aaron just as milk drunk as your daughter would get. You let him stay put until it was time to switch, taking your nipple from his mouth to give him the other, a soft smile resting on his face as he latched back onto you.

"Just let me help, Aaron. Let me take care of you."

He didn't argue; in fact, he gave you a small nod before wrapping his arms around your waist, his face buried in your chest as he allowed himself to drift off to sleep in the safety of your embrace.

Master tags: @wheelsupkels @periodtcevans @hausofwhores @criminallyobsessedcm @tojithesourcerkiller @fireworksinthesky @pedrohoe04 @rousethemouse @thegettingbyp2 @mojo366

#ssa aaron hotchner smut #ssa hotchner smut #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner au #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader smut #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner gif #aaron hotchner x fem reader #Aaron hotchner #Hotch smut #criminal minds

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nicoline1998enilocin · 7 months

Text

Flufftober Day 11 | Chocolate lovers

Pairing | Boyfriend!Dad!Young!Tony Stark x Girlfriend!Mom!Female!Reader

Word count | 3.7K

Summary | Your daughter, Orion, has been wanting hot chocolate as a treat for a while now, and you and Tony are finally giving her just that. Though Tony's sweet tooth craves something much sweeter, he can't help but make it even more delicious by adding some sweet chocolate syrup.

Warning(s) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Tooth rotting fluff, smut (cockwarming, lazily making out, food play (chocolate sauce), hair pulling, nipple play, fingering, oral (F&M receiving), face fucking, cumming untouched, squirting, multiple orgasms, aftercare).

Prompt(s) | 11. Sweet tooth + Alt 1. Hot chocolate | @flufftober

A/n | This one shot is written for day 11 of Flufftober 2023, and it is part of my AU called 'love of my life'. It can be read as a standalone or combined with the rest of my AU. I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I did when writing it 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🧡

Divider is made by @cafekitsune | GIF-credit goes to @ladyeliot

Main Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist | AU Masterlist | Flufftober Masterlist

"Mommy? Can we have cocoa night?" your daughter Orion asks as you walk into the store. She's seated in your cart, and your son Hudson is in your boyfriend's.

The season has slowly been changing from warm summer to colder autumn days, and you absolutely love it, so you happily agree with your daughter.

"Course we can, Babygirl. What do you think, Tony? Want to make it a hot cocoa night tonight?" you ask as you walk through the produce aisle, looking at some vegetables for dinner.

"Hmm, that sounds like the perfect plan! But we need to make it early because we're having a big day tomorrow, remember? We're going to the zoo tomorrow!" Tony reminds you and the kids, who both happily cheer in their way.

When all the necessary groceries are loaded into the cart, you are on your way to the aisle with everything needed for a perfect hot chocolate. You're getting multiple flavors, many different sizes of marshmallows, and candy canes.

"How about we get some chocolate syrup for our pleasure later tonight?" Tony whispers into your ear, and you feel yourself getting wet at the thought alone, and you happily agree.

When Tony loaded the small syrup bottle into his cart, you were all done, and the four of you made your way to the register. As usual, the cashiers always coo to Hudson and Orion, who eat up every bit of attention they can get, and you understand entirely; they're the most adorable children ever.

You get behind the wheel when you're all done, and Tony sits on the passenger side. It's quite a drive back to the house, and since Tony drove on the way to the store, you're driving back home.

"I love you, Sunshine," he says as he brings your hand to his lips, placing a delicate kiss on your knuckles as he looks at you through his lashes, making the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

The drive back to your house went down without a hitch, and the twins even fell asleep about halfway through the drive, for which you are both very thankful.

You managed to transfer the twins to their beds without waking them up, and Tony was putting the food away when he suddenly came across the chocolate sauce again. It had already slipped his mind that you had bought it, but he'd use it well later.

When you're walking back to the living room, Tony meets you halfway, and without warning, he pulls you closer, planting a soft, tender kiss on your lips that has your panties soaked in no time.

When you pull away, you look at him through half-lidded eyes, a big smile breaking out. "What was that for?"

"No reason; I just felt like kissing my beautiful girlfriend and the most amazing mother of my children," he says, looking at you with pure adoration.

When he moved even closer, you suddenly felt that he was getting hard, and it suddenly clicked in your brain. A grin not unlike that of the Cheshire cat forms as you pull him toward the couch, a plan forming in your mind.

He pulls you onto the couch so you'll be straddling him, your dress hiking up slightly as you do so. "Can I keep you warm until one of the twins wakes up?" you ask innocently.

"Of course, Sunshine," Tony says, and you open his belt and pants enough to pull out his now almost uncomfortably hard dick before pushing your panties to the side and letting yourself slide down.

You let out a hiss as you feel him filling you up, the slight stretch giving a delicious and pleasurable feeling as you let out a soft moan once he's slipped in completely.

You let your head fall against his shoulder, and Tony places soft kisses on your neck and shoulder, his hands rubbing lovingly over your back as the two of you sit like this for a few minutes, basking in each other's love and warmth.

When you've adjusted to him, you lift your head and give him a soft peck on his lips, after which your kisses slowly get deeper and more passionate. The two of you enjoy a lazy make-out session for half an hour until you suddenly hear feet trotting your way.

"Duty calls," you say with a breathy laugh before lifting yourself off of Tony and swiftly adjusting your underwear while Tony stuffs himself away quickly and right on time.

"Daddy!" Orion says before falling into Tony's arms, and he puts her on his thigh for a sleepy cuddle, their favorite thing to do. Orion is the true definition of a Daddy's girl, but Hudson, on the other hand, is a total Momma's boy, and you're not mad at that.

"Hi, Babygirl," he says as he pulls her close, and she completely melts into his arms, like you did not long before. Like mother, like daughter, they say.

"I'm going to wake up Hudson, okay? After I get started on dinner," you said, and he nodded before craning his neck, begging for a once more kiss. He could never get enough of tasting you in whichever way possible.

"Hi, Babyboy," you say as you walk into the twins' shared bedroom, and he immediately pulls his happiest face as he sees you. Once he's sitting, he makes grabby hands at you, and you crouch down to let him wrap his arms around your neck, his cheek pressed against yours.

"Shall we make some warm milk for you and your sister? As a little treat for taking such a good nap?" you ask, and he happily nods, his thumb in his mouth as he curls into your side, his favorite place to be when you carry him.

Right now, they're still small enough to carry around, but you're dreading the day when you can't pick them up anymore, though you try not to think too hard about that.

"Orion, would you like some warm milk as well as a treat for taking the best nap ever?" you ask as you walk into the living room; she's curled into Tony's side, her thumb in her mouth, and she nods.

You and Hudson walk into the kitchen, and he has pulled his thumb out of his mouth and told you about something that happened in a cartoon; you listen intently while keeping an eye on the milk as it's warming up.

When it's warmed up, you put some honey in for both of them and put it in their respective cups to enjoy when all four of you are sitting on the couch.

"Here you go," you say as you hand the cup to Orion, and she starts drinking immediately. When you sit down, you curl into Tony's other side so Hudson can have his milk.

Both kids are fully awake but entranced by the cartoons they watch when their milk is gone. "Do you want to cuddle with Mommy, Babygirl? That way, I can start dinner," Tony asks Orion.

"Okay," she says with a small voice and crawls over Tony into your lap, occupying the space on your free thigh. She grabs Hudson's hand, and the three of you sit like that, all while you're trying not to die from absolute cuteness right now.

Tony looks at the sight in front of him as he's fighting against the tears, his three greatest loves all cuddled up and comfy on the couch. He snaps a quick picture before sending it in their family group chat and getting started on dinner not long after.

Dinner was gone before you knew it, and you promised the kids some hot chocolate before bed, so that's precisely what you'll do.

"Love, would you mind giving them a bath while I prepare the hot chocolates for everyone?" you ask, and he nods before taking the kids to the bathroom and bathing them.

In the meantime, you're getting all the toppings for the hot chocolate ready in little bowls so that everyone can build their own, though there will be some restrictions for the twins. Otherwise, they'll fill it up with marshmallows.

When the different sizes of marshmallows, candy canes, and other chocolatey goodness are on the table, you're preparing the milk, and based on the amount of laughter coming from the bathroom, the kids are also done with their bath.

About 10 minutes later, the twins run up to you wearing matching gingerbread men's pajamas, making them look adorable.

"Alright, let's get you both in your chairs so we can all have some hot chocolate together," you say before lifting them one by one in their chairs, shortly followed by Tony, who pulls you in for a soft, short kiss.

"We're ready for our hot chocolates," he says, taking his usual place at the dinner table. You give Orion and Hudson their hot chocolate with half a sachet of hot chocolate mix each due to the amount of sugar, and you and Tony have a regular one.

Everyone made their perfect hot chocolates, and the kids both had one extra marshmallow as a treat on the side, which they both happily nibbled on while drinking their hot chocolate. And your evening feels perfect as it warms your heart.

"Shall I bring you two Munchkins to bed? Daddy can clean up here while I tuck you two into bed," you ask, and both Orion and Hudson nod sleepily, and you and Tony can't help but chuckle at the sight.

It only takes half a story for them to be into a deep sleep, and you ensure the baby monitor in their room is on before closing the door and helping Tony in the kitchen with the clean-up.

When you enter the kitchen, Tony finishes the clean-up, leaning against the counter with the chocolate syrup bottle beside him. You had completely forgotten about it then, but he hasn't.

As you approach him, he reaches out his hand, which you happily take, and he pulls you towards himself, wrapping his arms around your waist until your chest is touching his, and he gives you a sweet, shy smile before closing the gap between you two.

Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of his lips against yours, and you let him take the lead, opening your mouth instantly as you feel him licking against your lips.

You moan softly when you can taste Tony and some of the chocolate sauce he squirted onto his tongue, making your mind go crazy. The sweetness of the chocolate combined with Tony's usual minty taste has you slipping into a fuzzy headspace, and you try to pull him impossibly closer.

Tony's hands wander over your back upwards until he's reached your neck, one hand gripping tightly while the other slides up into your hair, pulling it harshly and making you groan loudly while his tongue runs over your throat, leaving a faint trail of chocolate behind.

But that wasn't enough for him, oh no. Tony has a sweet tooth beyond belief, and you have not seen the last of this syrup bottle yet.

Seemingly out of nowhere, he picks you up and puts you on the counter, and you spread your legs instantly, letting Tony take his place between them.

"C'mon, pull that zipper down for me, Sunshine," Tony says as his hands slowly rub your thighs, his hungry gaze fixed on your chest.

You tease him a little by pulling down your straps one by one and unzipping the front of your dress ever so slowly. You're completely naked underneath your clothing, which makes the reveal so much better, though his eyes almost burn a hole in your chest.

When it's completely undone, you let the fabric fall onto the counter, making Tony growl from deep within his chest when he sees you've been naked this entire time.

"Hmm, can't believe you've been naked under here for me this entire time, Sunshine," he says before leaning down and attaching his mouth to your nipple, letting his hand play with the other until he has an idea.

"Lean back a little for me, Sunshine. Wouldn't want this chocolate syrup to go everywhere after all," Tony says, and you do, laying your underarms on the counter as you lean back, leaning on them while Tony flips the bottle open.

He drizzles some of the chocolate syrup on your nipples, and it's a bit cold, but the thick sauce gives a pleasurable feeling to your pebbled buds.

"Can't wait to make a dripping mess of you," Tony says before he pokes his tongue out and licks over your hard nipple, lapping the chocolate sauce up while his hands keep inching closer to where you need him most.

"Please," you beg as your head falls back. The pleasure is almost overwhelming, yet there doesn't seem to be enough all at the same time. Something about him licking chocolate sauce off of you makes everything ten times hotter, and Tony is already rock hard, though he's taking care of you first.

"What is it that you want, Sunshine? Can't give you what you want unless you tell me," he says with a slightly degrading tone, and the pool of arousal between your legs grows with them.

"Want your fingers, Tony! Want to cum on your fingers," you tell him as he licks and sucks the chocolate sauce off your other nipple.

"Open your mouth first," he orders, and you do, sticking out your tongue as he holds up the syrup bottle, letting him squirt some on your tongue before capturing your mouth again, licking the sauce off your tongue.

"Good girl," he says, and the moan you let out as two of his long, thick fingers are pushed into your dripping cunt is honestly obscene. The pleasure you're feeling is so much that within a few short thrusts of his fingers, you cum with a broken moan of his name.

Your thighs tremble as Tony works you through your orgasm precisely to ensure he can prolong it for as long as possible. "Fuck me, please," you breathe out, but he doesn't grant your wish yet.

"I'll make you fall apart on my cock later, Sunshine, but right now, I want a taste of my delicious pussy, especially after she's been squeezing my fingers during your orgasm," Tony says with a mischievous look in his eyes.

He pulls you to the edge of the counter with a yelp, bends down to attach his mouth to your wet folds, and starts licking and sucking every last drop of your arousal.

You moan, and in the back of your head, you're thankful you have two deep sleepers. Otherwise, this would have been a different type of evening.

Tony groans as his tongue goes into your entrance, and his thumb is making steady work of your clit. Your hands find their way into his hair, and before he can even warn you what's happening, he cums into his pants from the combination of the hair pulling, eating you out, and your sounds.

He keeps building you up with a renewed vigor, and before you know it, you're falling apart again. A familiar rush of warm fluid rushes through you, and you squirt all over his face and the kitchen floor.

"Fuck, taste so good when you squirt for me, Sunshine," he says before licking up every last drop from your thighs and oversensitive pussy.

"Is too much," you say as you push him away, and he listens, instead opting to pull you in for a deep kiss that has your head reeling after the intense pleasure he gave you just now.

"Let's continue this in the bedroom, yeah? Made a mess of myself because of you, Sunshine. Came without you even touching me when you pulled my hair," he says as he picks you up, and you wrap your legs and arms around him so he can carry you to the bedroom.

"Love you so much, My Love," you sigh as you let him carry you.

When you're in the bedroom, Tony puts the chocolate sauce he brought with him on the nightstand, letting you lay down on the and taking his clothes off.

"Fuck, you made a big mess for me to clean up, didn't you?" you say, looking at the state of his clothes and the cum clinging everywhere. But that's not what surprised you most, but the fact that he is still hard is unexpected after the orgasm he just had.

You get up to sit on your knees as he walks to the edge of the bed and instantly stick out your tongue as he's close, ready to lick every last drop of cum off of him.

"Hmm, you look like a perfect cockslut like this, Sunshine; I should have you on your knees more often," Tony says while squeezing your cheeks with his left hand, his right one finding its place in your hair.

You lean forward, and as soon as you lick the cum off his tip, he lets out a deep groan because he's still sensitive after the orgasm, despite being fully hard again.

When he's all cleaned up, you take him into your hand and rub slowly up and down over his shaft, and you can't help but tease him a little with some kitten licks over his tip, which earns you a tug on your hair, making you moan.

"P-please, let me suck you off," you say, and he nods, so you don't waste any more time before taking his tip into your mouth and sucking in your cheek before slowly taking more of him.

The moan he lets out when you do that makes your cunt throb, but you're choosing to ignore it for now, instead wanting to make Tony feel like an angel is touching him. Though if you ask him, he already is.

The grip he had on your face is finally gone as he places both hands in your hair and sets a rough pace, fucking your face in earnest as he hears you gag, and the tears are streaming down your face as you look up at him.

"Oh, fuck," he groans through gritted teeth as he sets a brutal pace, and you're nails are digging into his thighs while you try to keep eye contact with him, which isn't as easy as you may have thought.

The pain your nails provide and the pleasure he feels make him fall apart very quickly, and before you know it, you're swallowing every last drop he gives you.

When he pulls out, he sits down next to you on the bed and quickly pulls you into his arms to calm you down a little, and he's genuinely concerned about your well-being when he sees you're crying.

"Are you okay, Sunshine? Did I go too far?" he asks between the kisses he's peppering on your face and hair, but you shake your head. He didn't go too far, but it was just a little unexpected, and you're still coming down from it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it that far," he whispers as you're trying to fight your tears, but to no avail. He wipes the tears away with his thumbs and holds you close until you've come down from everything.

"It's okay, Sunshine. I'm here with you," he whispers as he pulls the comforter over you and shifts a little, sitting against the bed's headboard while you're calming down in his arms.

"S-Sorry-" you croak out, but he doesn't let you apologize. "There's nothing to say sorry for, Sunshine. You've been perfect, and I'm sorry I may have pushed it too far. You've done nothing wrong; you're always doing so well for me," Tony tells you, and you believe him.

You just lay in his arms for a while, even after the tears stop. After fifteen minutes, you're finally ready to talk about it, and you're glad Tony is always willing to listen.

"I-I was a little… overwhelmed," you start, and Tony looks at you with interest and gives you his full attention.

"It's not that it was unpleasant at all, but we should have talked about it first. I'm not against it, and I won't mind you doing it again… Just not any time soon, okay?" you say with pleading eyes, and he wholeheartedly agrees.

"I should be saying sorry, Sunshine. I got carried away, and I didn't consider your feelings, but I am so incredibly proud of you for talking about it with me," he says before placing a small peck on your nose, and it makes you smile.

"See? There's that beautiful smile of yours again," he says, and you lean in for a kiss, feeling happy that you can always talk to him about any- and everything, no matter what.

"Shall we take a bath together before sleep? Our Munchkins are still fast asleep, so I doubt they'll wake up when we take a bath together," you ask him, and Tony agrees.

"I'll get it ready, okay? I'll get you once it's ready," Tony says, and you let him go so he can prepare the bath with your favorite scented bath oil and a few candles you always have in the bathroom for a romantic atmosphere.

"It's ready, Sunshine," he says, and you get up after Tony extends his hand and leads you into the bathroom. He steps into the tub and guides you in, and the two of you sink in the warm water, letting it envelop you entirely.

You place your place between Tony's legs and his arms wrapped around your waist, your head against his shoulder, and a small smile etched onto your face.

"Thank you for everything you do for me, Tony. And for the kids, as well, they are the luckiest Munchkins on this earth to have you as their dad," you say, and Tony's cheeks turn red at the praise and a shy smile forms on his face.

"Well, I couldn't do it without you, Sunshine. You're my rock, my love, my everything. And I honestly can't wait to marry you one day. Nothing on this earth would make me happier than to be your husband one day," Tony says, though he would return on that promise in many years.

The day he takes back his words is when he holds his first grandchild in his arms, and he couldn't be more proud of the family the two of you have built together over the years.

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i-like-turkey · 3 months

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I announced on Twitter that I was taking a step back from social media and fandom to deal with a personal matter. That’s still true. I just need to barf some feelings into the universe. I’m putting them under a cut. This is NOT an easy read and I’m NOT holding back details. Don’t feel compelled or obligated to share my pain. TW: Pet death & grief.

I said goodbye to my little girl on Thursday. She’s been my world since I took her home at the end of July 2012. It was both sudden and not sudden. So I’m in shock, but I’m also not really surprised. There were signs that something bad was looming and I had this gut feeling as early as January that this wasn’t gonna be a good year for us.

This likely all started a long time ago. I took her to the vet in August of 2022 right before we moved east. The vet told me that her heart didn’t sound 100%, but it wasn’t something that needed immediate intervention. She had a little murmur that could indicate heart disease and if it got worse, then I’d need to get her to a specialist to take pictures and then we’d likely get her on some medicine to deal with whatever the problem was.

So I heeded the advice to take a wait and see approach. My baby was acting fine. She made it across the country well. She had energy and life. Not quite her puppy energy, but she was 10, so that was normal. I took her to the vet again this last August and I heard the same thing. She has a murmur. It’s not quite bad enough to get images. If it gets worse, we’ll refer you to a specialist. Ok. Great.

We keep living our life. She still has energy. Lunging at cars and barking at other dogs and trying to get endless pets from all of the strangers we’d encounter while walking in our neighborhood and riding our building’s elevators. I can’t tell y’all how many people would ask how old she was and be surprised when I told them 11.

So we get to January and she’s coughing a bit more than she usually does. Background: for the last few years of her life, she’d occasionally have coughing fits when she got super excited about something or barked too hard at a car. Worrying. But something I’d disclosed to all of the vets we’d seen and they didn’t seem perturbed by it. But now the coughing was every few days instead of a couple times a month or three days of coughing followed by months without a single damn cough.

It got really bad mid January. I took her into the vet. The same one who’d listened to her heart in August. He listened again. Nothing out of the ordinary. She didn’t have fluid in her lungs. Her energy was fine. He sent me home with antibiotics and a cough suppressant and told me to come back if she didn’t improve after a few days of treatment. She improved. Not right away. There were scary times where her breathing was all labored, but after a few days of the meds, she was doing better, and by the end she seemed fine.

And then we get to last Sunday and I hear a cough and that wasn’t good. And then Monday she’s coughing a bit more and I’m getting nervous. I talk to my parents and we agree to not do anything yet because illnesses can linger and her energy was fine. My mom came over that night and we were standing by the laundry closet doors and my pup pulled a toy out of her toy basket and was just running all over the living room with it. She was shaking her head and growling and having an absolute blast flinging that thing everywhere for the entire lengthy time my mom and I were chatting. She didn’t look sick. She looked like a puppy with lots of gray hair.

Then my mom leaves and we sit on the couch and she rolls over for belly rubs and immediately has to roll back over to cough. Then she cuddles up to me and we sit there and watch TV and I pet her and then I take her out and we go through our nighttime routine. She seemed fine.

Tuesday was a good day. She had energy. We played a bit with one of her favorite toys. We had some good cuddles. I only heard a few coughs.

Wednesday morning she seemed ok energy wise. She coughed when she rolled over for belly rubs right after I got home from my morning walk (solo cause it’s long & hilly. She also got one every morning). I didn’t notice anything abnormal during the day. Then we go out for our evening walk and she’s sluggish. That also wasn’t abnormal cause her energy had been fading for the last few years. Sometimes she’d race through our walks. Sometimes she liked to take a leisurely pace. I never worried cause if a car zoomed past she’d lunge and bark and if she saw a dog, she’d lose her mind. But we passed a couple dogs that night and nothing. That had me on edge. But then we get inside and I put on her favorite TV show, Person of Interest, and she was barking up a storm at Bear and seemed fine. I take that as a positive sign and relax a little.

I make dinner. We go to the couch for nightly cuddles. She rolls over for belly rubs. Starts coughing immediately. I pet her through it. Then she cuddles into my side and coughs a couple more times as we sit there. I put her to bed at her usual bedtime. I hear her coughing a few times as I’m struggling to fall asleep. Then I wake up Thursday and she’s in bad shape. I don’t wanna describe it cause it’s too fucking tough to type and traumatic. But I get us scheduled with the nearby vet asap* and I keep an eye on my girl and her scary symptoms. The symptoms subside a bit. Then my mom comes over to help keep me calm as we wait for our appointment time. My baby perks up when she hears my mom knock. She runs from the couch to the door. She’s wagging her tail and barking and jumping on my mom. She goes and chugs half her bowl of water. We sit there with her for over an hour petting her as we talk. She’s breathing ok. Her tail is between her legs, so that’s a sign something isn’t right. But she’s getting all the love from us and seemed happy.

Then we leave. She pees and poops on the way (I didn’t take her out first thing that morning cause part of the scary badness that I’m skipping is that she peed inside). The vet comes in and listens to her. I show a video I took of her that morning. The vet’s reaction said it all. She snapped into action. Took my baby out of the room for x-rays. As that was happening we were going over pricing options with a tech and then shit kinda really hit the fan cause the x-rays were bad. No specialty review necessary. She had fluid around her heart. So we start talking about transporting her to a specialist. They bring my girl back in. The tech just kinda drops the leash and steps away as soon as my girl is through the door. She starts racing directly to me and she collapses. My mom runs for help. They take her away again. The vet ends up doing the procedure she would have sent us elsewhere to do. Basically draining the fluid. It’s blood. They get her stable and hooked up on oxygen and give me the option of trying to get her to the animal hospital for further intervention. But the vet was clear that she’d probably die on the way and it was VERY clear at that point that she wasn’t gonna get better from this. It was a heart tumor. Something had ruptured and started bleeding. There was no fix. So I made the call to let her go. We got my dad and my brother on the line and told them to get their asses over to us. We stood there petting my baby as we waited. Then we said goodbye.

*In hindsight I maybe should have gotten her in the car and driven her to an emergency hospital. But the closest one ISN’T close. And that wouldn’t have changed the outcome. She hated the car enough that she would pant during two minute drives. 40 minutes (assuming relatively light rush hour traffic which is probably a bad assumption so more like 60 min) of that while she was already in breathing distress might have killed her. But assuming we made it, they could have intervened and maybe bought her a day or two. But this wasn’t something she was gonna get better from. That extra time would have been full of pain. So I made the right call. She got more loves from me and my mom at home and got to pass peacefully nearby while she was surrounded by everyone who loved her.

So I’m devastated and completely out of my mind at the moment. I don’t know what’s up or down. I’m keeping myself occupied between sobbing fits by going through all the pictures I’ve taken over the years. It’s a pain in the ass because my storage habits are terrible and my screenshotting habits are worse so I have hundreds of thousands of images scattered everywhere and now I have to dig through them to find my girl.

Here are some painful lessons I’ve learned from this:

Don’t store 77k images in a single folder on an external hard drive. You won’t be able to copy them all over to the iCloud at a single time unless you have a fuckton of available disk space on your Mac. And trying to scroll through the images will push your computer dangerously close to the limits (I really need a new machine 😬)

Don’t rely too heavily on Snapchat to takes pics. It’s fun in the moment, but 5-6 years later you’re gonna cringe & regret that all your cute dogs pics from that era are plastered over with weird graphics. A Happy Mother’s Day pic with my dog on the couch behind me, hearts all above us, and a damn Wookie filter plastered over my face? jfc 🤦🏼‍♀️

Do give yourself a refresher on how Snapchat works lest you go through and favorite a bunch of memories, see a pop up flash about them getting added to a story, and then have a full on panic attack in front of your parents about how you might have accidentally shared semi-naked pics of yourself with the few people that still follow you 😅 (Yes, I’ve been been known to take and share some risqué pics. Yes, I wanted to download them before deleting them. I might be grieving, but I can still see a pic of my 2018 back muscles and think “Damn!” 🫣🤣)

Don’t be so lax and sloppy about your picture storage habits that you’re forced to keyword search your text messages for pictures cause it’s a good way to find out just how many women you’ve texted dog pics to throughout the years 🥴 She was a great wing woman, but she also loved to clam jam me cause she thought she was the one who should be getting kisses when I’d sit on my couch with a woman 😂

Do find a balance between taking pictures of every damn thing and living in the moment. I stopped taking lots of pics since my east coast move cause I wanted to get away from my compulsive snapping. Now I regret not taking at least one daily shot of her sleeping on the couch.

Do have other people take pictures of you and your dog. So far I’ve only found two different occasions on which someone else took a picture of me and my baby together. All other pics of us are terrible selfies or feature just my hand/arm/legs. I have memories of all those moments that I spent with her, but it hurts to not have a father away perspective on them. Part of this is my fault for living thousands of miles from my family, being fairly closed off to human connections aside from shallow hookups and activity buddies, and viewing my home as a sacred domain accessible to people only if there wasn’t another option for where we could hang out.

Thank you anyone who has made it this far. Please go hug your pets and tell them that you love them. If you would like to leave me a note, that’s very welcome. I don’t have the energy to engage, so it’s unlikely I will respond until the day my energy returns. Idk when that will be. Right now I’m still in the sobbing hysterically as I process my new reality phase. I need to get through that before I’ll be ready to start communicating normally. I’m hopeful that I’ll only need a week or two in this phase. But who knows. Grief is hard to predict. All I can do now is stay patient and work through it.

#personal #dog death tw #pet death tw #grief #the ao3 author's curse is undefeated #I really wrote chapter 17 into existence #ugh #I'm finding the lolz where I can

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