#LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?? THEIR FICS AND ART AND META CHANGE ME ON A DAILY BASIS AND YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK TO THEM????

[ozzieinspacetime]

Do you ever wake up to check a server you're in and every single person you've ever respected and/or found inspiration from is just. There. Just hanging out. And you have to act like a normal person and not talk about the fundamental ways your interactions with them have impacted you as a person. Just. Completely normal.

#this has happened more than once to me but. god. it messes with me every time #LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?? THEIR FICS AND ART AND META CHANGE ME ON A DAILY BASIS AND YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK TO THEM???? #usualy my go to is leaving and casting myself into the deepest depths but i. like the fandom too much for that out #my wimpy bi-anual angst posts are nothing compared to their works and here i am acting like im on par with them!! for shame!! #this post is actually a perfect opportunity to establish a rambling tag so >:) #Ozzie goes Cosmic

[msperfectsheep-posts]

Okay Note here. CHARACTER ASK. i7 Torao, Haruka, and Nagi. Ouran High School Haruhi. Batman Jason. Anyone in persona you must talk about (I don't know anyone there). Did I miss someone? (You don't have to do all. I am mereky curious)

THANK YOU NOTE!!! I'm gonna put all of these beneath a cut just so I don't clog up people's dashes <3

Torao Mido: (IDOLiSH7)

Torao is the kind of character where you're like "literally why is he in the main cast when everyone else is a banger" and then you realize that his arc is just 4-5/6ths of the way into the story and you go Oh. Oh. I get it now. That's him. That said, I want to blast him with a fire hose.

Haruka Isumi: (IDOLiSH7)

Haruka was my discord pfp for several months and I think that says a lot already. I love him so much, he's like. so bulliable and he should be bullied. Dramatic ass teenager baby that dresses like an e-boy. I love him so much and every time he bleps (:P) in official art I want to Die. Prime blorbo material.

Nagi Rokuya: (IDOLiSH7)

I'll admit outright that, as someone who had Ouran High School Host Club change my brain chemistry forever when I was a child, and with i7 having a main character named Tamaki, I CONSTANTLY called Nagi "Tamaki" during the first season just because he was the silly blond weeb guy!! I was like holy shit there's two of them. And then I got to parts 3 and 4 and I was like Oh Holy Shit they're even more similar than I thought :'). Nagi is a BELOVED character of mine but it took a moment for me to grow into loving his character. I wish I saw more fan content of him because he fucking rocks, but he's also just on a different plane from a lot of the more popular characters and I get it. I love how everyone respects him as they should though. My king forever and ever.

Haruhi Fujioka: (Ouran High School Host Club)

SPEAKING OF OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB. Haruhi's arc in the anime and manga is a little different, and obviously the anime wasn't supposed to end where it did, but with the changes the director and writers made, I truly believe that it would be impossible for the animeverse to end the same way the mangaverse did. Anyways Haruhi is a really funny character because she's supposed to be the straightman in a lot of the jokes, but she's just as dramatic and silly as everyone else. And it's great. 10/10 protagonist, every time I think of her I think of that tumblr post about her with the big brown eyes and I go Yeah. yeah.

Jason Todd: (DC Comics; Batman)

(If you can't read that square, it says "SCOTT LOBDELL")

Jason was NOT my favorite DC character or even Robin for a long, long time. I only really got into his character when I started working on my fic, Beyond Imagination, and had to start analyzing what a younger Jason was like and how he would interact with the world in a modern day and age. All of the Batman characters get flanderized and mischaracterized by fanon and canon a lot, so it's hard to figure out what was generally agreed upon as canon unless you read yourself, but Jason's got a strong story and personality that really shined with his resurrection. I'd say it's one of the best uses of reviving a character thought to be dead, and every time I think about his death and like. both the in-universe and real life events that lead up to it, I get emotional. Great character that makes me deeply ill to think of from a meta-perspective.

Maya Amano: (Persona 2 Innocent Sin & Persona 2 Eternal Punishment)

Okay so. You may have noticed I tagged two Persona games for her and that's because, spoilers for Persona 2, the first Persona 2 (Innocent Sin) is a timeline that fails. The game with you resetting the timeline because you fucked up that badly, and the second Persona 2 (Eternal Punishment) is your second shot and doing things over. HOWEVER. Maya changes with the timelines because she was doomed to die with how things were set up in Innocent Sin, and fixing that to give the timeline a shot in Eternal Punishment changes her as a character. This bingo is more about Innocent Sin Maya, who is a 23 year old girlfailure reporter that makes me Deeply Deeply Ill. If you're ever curious, you can send me an ask and I'll talk about her more in depth because Persona 2 isn't the easiest game to play

Thank you for the ask!!!

#ask game #idolish7 #dc #ohshc #persona

[bleachbleachbleach]

Your blog is awesome and so wacky I love it! What inspired both of you to create the blog, and are there any people/blogs that inspire your posts or fics?

Aw, thank you!! We’re glad you enjoy it. <333 We initially made the blog as a receptacle for all our Bleach thoughts for posterity, because Apple Messages can’t be searched worth a good goddamn. Then being on Tumblr really opened the door in terms of the amount of Bleach content—really excellent Bleach content—that was out and about in the world! And I think my primary inspirations for B3 now are still having a place to put random Bleach things we make, and wanting to make Bleach friends. I’m variably good at both of these things, though. My goal is to post to this blog reflexively and without filter because the alternative is just me being deeply anxious about being perceived, ON TUMBLR, ON A BLOG ABOUT AN OLD ANIME, and I know logically that’s very silly. I also get anxious about overstepping Tumblr’s Pact of Parasociality, but trust that if you are interested in being friends I am too; I’m just scared of being a Kool-Aid Man. XD (And chronically absent from this platform, but one of my 2022 goals is to not be.)

The first three Tumblrs I remember looking at before we made this blog were @littleeyesofpallas’s Bleach name posts, @recurring-polynya’s meta (specifically the Renji fashion posts, because I am obsessed with Renji’s koi hoodie and overall think he’s the best dressed in the series; and also the post about Bleach and The Abhorsen Trilogy, a series that is my entire childhood and also the origin of my usual online name, outside of Tumblr), and @kaicko’s tiny Hyourinmaru art.

As far as what inspires posts or fics, I guess like everyone else here… THEM. The cast of Bleach! My desire to spend time with them! <33333 I like hanging out with them, and having places to hang out with them that exist in different registers, whether it’s omake memes or taking them very seriously in fanfic.

Bleachbleachbleach is such a silly name--it was supposed to be a placeholder. (Fascinating, right? Because I know what you’re thinking—in no way does this subtle and eminently clever name sound like a placeholder!)--and I just copied the name of the screensharing room we’d been using to watch… Bleach… But it’s our brand now and also frankly what I envision my ideal life to be. BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH!

—

I had actually completely forgotten that BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH was supposed to be a placeholder name, but I went back into the pit of Apple Messages and searched out the exact moment of blog creation for everyone's enjoyment (including my own)

May 3, 2021 ~9:45a PST

(under the cut because this post is starting to get very long)

The message exchange has been slightly edited for clarity and to remove some somewhat embarrassing messages in which we talk about posts/blogs we like, which are literally the ones whipplefilter mentioned above.

I find it hilarious that basically everything about the blog was supposed to be temporary. The name, the banner, layout, userpic... everything was supposed to be changed from the temporary images once we had a better grasp of the blog and more time. The pfp and banner are placeholders and something we have discussed updating/making better for... basically the entire 10mo that this blog has been around. And yet we still haven't done it, and now it's probably become somewhat of our brand. I do think the blog navigation is incredibly ugly/difficult to use, so maybe I will get around to changing it...

I'd like to point out that LOL, I mention wanting to have useful tags, and that is definitely not something we have here. If anything, they are probably the opposite of useful. XDDD

In all seriousness though, I do think we've met some wonderful people in the Bleach tumblr community, and maybe have made some new friends along the way? Which is ironic, considering we thought we only needed the imaginary Bleach friends. But it's nice to have friends that you can interact with! So please, feel free to message us!!

#no brain just bleach #asks #bleachbleachbleach history #i can't believe i found the moment of creation

[kinnoth]

What's your take on Thor Ragnarok? What's your take on Thor's development within the MCU so far?I'm a fan of your posts and tags!

GREAT QUESTIONS THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THANKS FOR BEING A FAN

tldr I """"like"""" Thor's canon development now bc I've done some fucking Olympic grade backfilling and contortion to recontextualize the canon to make it meaningful, but this results in me living in my own pocket universe of an interpretation where I can't really interact with other people bc they don't subscribe to my exact reading of canon

But bro I LOVE Ragnarok. I know that can be a controversial take (I've read the meta of people who think it "slaughtered" Thor and Loki's characterisations), but I just thought it was so much fun! Like on a movie watching experience level and on a lore/meta level, it's FUN. That's not something I can say for 95% of marvel movies, which are nigh universally too dimly lit and too reliant on hateful sarcasm between characters as a substitute for a relationship.

On a meta level, I 1000% subscribe to the idea that the entire movie is a retelling that Thor is preforming for his refugees, so it's a heavily edited, exaggerated, and sillier version of events meant to keep everyone's spirits up. On the point of lore continuity, I really appreciate that thor3 makes CANON and EXPLICIT Odin's campaign of imperialist violence behind his "peaceful" reign over the nine realms, I FUCKIN LOVE IT. I LOVE the context Hela gives to their family, because she makes canon and explicit Odin's disappointments in Thor. I LOVE that Mjolnir was Hela's weapon before it was Thor's because Mjolnir was never meant to be a metric for moral goodness or readiness for rule, but a metric for a colonialist's commitment to imperialist violence on behalf of an empire WHICH IS WHY IT FINDS CAPTAIN AMERICA WORTHY BUT NOT LOKI

(btw if anyone else can draw a line between Hela and Steve Rogers that is a. representative of Odin's priorities and b. includes Thor but excludes Loki, hmu, bc this is the best I got.)

(Mjolnir rejects Thor in thor1 bc Thor was trying to conquer Jotunheim for personal glory and doesn't accept him again until he starts thinking about the good of the empire again by protecting Midgard, an imperial asset. Mjolnir rejects Loki bc Loki is a not an imperialist in service of an empire)

Off topic but I know a lot of people get hung up on Thor leaving Loki paralyzed in the parking garage, potentially to be found by the grandmasters dudes? Like people say that was unaccountably cruel and ooc for Thor. But like, ok, they killed everyone on the way up, and Thor knows his armed gladiator rebellion is on his heels also headed for the parking garage, so I dunno, I never read it as Loki was in any particular danger? But I'm a notorious Thor apologist as well as a Loki apologist so 🤷‍♂️

Things I also love: loki defunding the military to spend that money on art and infrastructure, Loki's live action thorki fanfic that Asgard unaccountably loved, Loki stonewalling Odin's attempt to reconcile bc fuck Odin, Thor's lightning powers, Bruce banner is now a Jewish grandma, Hela have I mentioned Hela love that girlboss, Jeff goldblum love that wiggly man, the Valkyrie love that angry girl, "piss off ghost", inglorious deaths for all the warriors 3, "I'm here" (screaming, crying, shaking), the story about how Loki bit Thor as a snake as well as the confirmation that they are in fact the same age

I have complicated feelings about Thor's canon development tbh. On a very ground floor sort of reaction, I despise what they did to My Boy in infinity war and endgame. I think it's a disgusting character assassination and I don't think the russos understand humour and specifically how to use humour to expand on tragedy like what thor3 did.

On the other hand, if you've read my fic and meta, you'll know that I've accepted the canon development, bc at this point, I've done a LOT of very deliberate and concerted labour to MAKE the canon development we see between thor1 and endgame WORK. But, like, there was a LOT of labour that I, specifically, put into it. It fully relies on me specifically doing a lot of digging and reaching and mining these movies for every possible frame of content to the point where I am pretty sure I've put more effort into making all the development make continuous sense than any of the screenwriters put into the actual development.

And I think I've probably just drank too much of my own Kool aid but like, I am in a position now where I do think my interpretation of Thor's character development is THE most complete and accurate reading of his character development. Key to these points are: a) I think he is an ex-imperialist who is currently and actively trying to deprogram himself from the colonialists' mindset that Odin instilled within him b) he is trying to deprogram himself from Asgard's culture of extreme toxic masculinity wherein he was not taught to have any sort of emotional processing that did not involve physical violence c) Loki is/was/always will be the person he loves best

So like, as I try to show in my thorki canonverse fics (shameless plug for myself), I can make most of the bad decisions made about Thor's character in infinity war and endgame work if I recontextualize all of his canon actions with my own (well supported, well documented) headcanon'd baggage. Of course he goes on a death wish mission to get revenge on Thanos -- he has a literal deathwish bc he was already supposed to die with Loki. Of course he sinks into an unshakeable depression afterwards -- he has no identity now that he has no family bc he was never taught to live by himself or for himself. Of course he leaves new Asgard and abdicates his rule -- he hasn't wanted a hand in the dirty business of Empire ever since Odin's ambition got his mom and brother killed in thor2, and that hasn't changed. I try to make him go through all the canon-implied feelings and anxieties and doubts in front of the reader. My entire goal of this is that people read my shit, then look at canon and think "oohh that context DOES make it better!" I will be gratified if that is the case.

(The only thing I cannot fix is the bit in endgame where Thor walks past Loki's Tupperware cell and the narrative doesn't come to a screeching fucking halt as Thor has so many feelings that he has some sort of paralytic breakdown where he simultaneously wants to commit Time Crime (tm) so he can just stay here forever and also wishes he could just die here, next to loki, like he was always supposed to. Like, that needed to happen to really lynchpin all of my work together into one smooth, problem free reading, but I'm not allowed to have nice things so)

(oh also I didn't like Thor calling frigga "mom". Shouldn't it at least be "mum"? I think "mother" is best tbh, bc I don't really read them as having that sort of relationship, see "toxic masculinity", see also "homosocial socialisation")

(and ok I get that it was a nice moment for Thor to call the hammer back to his hand, and I get that it even still works with my headcanon that mjolnir finds Thor worthy still bc Thor is defending the imperial asset that is Midgard, but like God damnit. The uncritical and unquestioning use of that word "worthy" when he catches the hammer again. Like worthy of what you guys? Do you ever ask yourself that question bc I very much do. I kinda wish they didnt bring it up at all, or if they did, it didn't come back to Thor's hand and he is just like, wistfully, "that's all right, I suspected as much. I'm such a different man now, mjolnir doesn't recognize me. I don't think I'd be alive right now if I had been the same man I was")

Wow that got long, anyway, thanks for chatting with me! Again, always a pleasure to field asks!

#internal thor tag

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

We need to unlock the mystery of your identity to we can go murder you properly

But there is no mystery. I am just Quill, and nothing more. I am a silly little writer, treading water in the ocean of the internet. What more does one need? :3

But in truth, my friend, I’ve recently come to the realization that my original reasons for going by the name “Quill” no longer hold, so I suppose the day could come when I share who I am. Rise from hell and walk among you, let you slaughter me as an equal. If this hypothetical day were to come, I suppose it would be sometime in tandem with the forearm arc.

You see when I first started going by “Quill” my reasons were pretty innocent, a fun name, an intriguing mystery that layers upon the meta. The fun chaos of seeing people trip over themselves to accuse one another like a game of Among Us. But as the days continued, I realized I actually really did value the anonymity of it all, because I was very afraid that if all the questions were answered, if all the links were tied, that would be the end, and no one would care.

I started this blog with an intense sense of imposter syndrome and anxiety, I was thoroughly convinced that it wouldn’t get the same attention as some of my other works, or more popular formats like AO3 fics or art ask blogs. And, well...obviously the reality of the situation is that I was right, hku is not the same. But I also discovered hku is also not comparable. It’s different, there’s different factors, different circumstances, and I think I like it that way.

I was very convinced that seeing the follower count go down after the real story began would be proof, proof that I’m not really as skilled as I thought I was, that I’m not as slick as others might give me credit for. But while meaningless numbers rose and fell and changed, I saw people being passionate about my work. MY work. Isn’t that a bit weird? People made memes, and art, and oc’s, and fics, and while some might argue that it’s really just a case of a small crowd being particularly loud—I don’t think I care.

So I want to say this from the bottom of my heart, with as much cheese as possible to send you lactose intolerant folks to the hospital: Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading through my funny little shit blog for all these months. You are all truly the reason I am doing this now.

I think I’ve convinced myself enough that I’m a decent enough writer. I think I don’t fear the crowd leaving when all the jokes are told and all the questions are answered. I mean, there’s still a ways to go, after all.

So yes, my friend, you do need to unlock the mystery of who I am. Because when that forearm arc comes, I am ready to reveal it. I have no need for it anymore. So I dare you. Am I a nobody swimming in the internets most unknown corners? Am I your discord friend, hiding in plain sight? Am I a woman, a man, a cactus, a horse? Will the answer even be interesting enough to warrant an occasion?

For now, I am just Quill, a silly little writer with a silly little blog. On this fine anniversary day, I must thank you again for reading it.

#out of character

[natures-marvel]

1 8 12 13 and 20

Hannah! I know we talked like 30 mins ago, but still happy to see you in my inbox! 😊

Fun meta asks for writers

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

So, as of now I am sharing the one I am currently writing. Its a multi chaptered horror/psychological thriller fic (@delirious-and-slightly-murderous says it aint much horror but lets see 🤷‍♀️) based on a bollywood movie with my own twists.

I have currently written about 20% and am planning write it all and then post it 2 or 3 days a week.

I never, EVER see horror movies cause I am too much of a chicken 😆 so exploring THIS genre is what I love the most about it.

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Depends. Sometimes I am in a mood for smut, sometimes I just want plain old fluff and sometimes I want something to blow my mind away. That being said, I always hate angst.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

I am very private person and only comfortable with the people I know. So.... not really?

13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

I dont keep projects for myself. But, as for my writing stuff:

Sixth Time's The Charm

The Club Isn't The Best Place to Find A Lover (So the ball is where I go)

Chasing Butterflies

There you go! 😊

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I would love to answer this one!

Okay, for this we will go by the order of the stories linked above:

1. In sixth time's the charm, the names of Andrés' 1st, 2nd and 4th wife are deliberate. Esperanza means hope but her actions render Andrés hopeless. Lucia is supposed to mean light but her actions push Andrés in the dark (aka he doesnt come out from his room for days). Dulcia means kind but she turns out to be the most two faced manipulative bitch.

Irene Ruiz is a direct referance to Irene Adler in the sense they both outsmart the male protogonist.

Also, the reason Andrés falls for his wives are the VERY same reasons for his divorce.

2. For the Berlermo AUgust fic, I got the basic insipiration from a gay Cinderella comic art. Then, I took some inspiration from MCU fics to see how bussinesses worked.

So, Tokyo being the lead of Snake Eyes is a direct referance to Ursula Corbero being the female lead of that movie.

The idea of fake dating to get press off the back came to me from an MCU fic I read.

@delirious-and-slightly-murderous has made a poster for this fic which is so nuts that I don't know whether to laugh, get flattered or offended.

(Bestie, if you are reading this, post that one! It will be a fucking riot!)

3. Chasing Butterflies has a lot of hilarious trivia.

The first incident was something that happened in my 9th class (or grade whatever you call that). I was Denver and the accused did get sent out 🤣

My favourite part was the food fight. I was laughing so hard whille writing that.

This entire fic was inspired by the 5th snippet where they ACTUALLY chased butterflies. I told @delirious-and-slightly-murderous once that Pedro and Rodri were SO immature that they needed a babysitter or they would be off chasing buttrflies. And this is how the idea for this fic came to me. Manu loved this idea and said, quote, "Write it! This will be bonkers!"

In the 4th snippet, I accidently wrote it in palindrome. It was supposed to be only Martín's POV but it didnt seem right, so I changed it. I only realized this after I posted this. So, it starts from Andrés' POV, then Martín and ends with Andrés' again.

And THE most craziest thing? I wrote this WHILE I was competing at a swim tournament!

#asks #thank you hannah #for this ask #also #I did win all of my races #so nothing to worry about 😄

[mothdalf]

@finweanladiesweek

DAY ONE: Míriel Þerindë and Indis

I’ve depicted them both in their wedding gowns here, sort of two different moments in time linked together.

Under the cut is a VERY long head-canon/meta that eventually kind of turned into a fic, hidden in case you just want to focus on the art.

Indis is a Vanyar lady from the House of Ingwë, I like to think she was close in age to Finwë and they met when the Vanyar and Noldor first arrived in Valinor. They end up dancing and socialising at pretty much every event and are pretty good friends. That friendship has the potential to change into something romantic. But what’s the rush? They’re immortal. He’s a king, finally establishing a safe place for his people. There’s no danger here. No need to produce heirs. No need to marry the first person you dance with.

Míriel didn’t enter the picture until later. I like to think of her as half-Telerin hence her silver hair. Her parents were a Noldor nis and a Telerin ner who met during the great journey, her mother choosing to remain with her husband and the Teleri who lingered East of the sea. As a result Míriel was born on Tol Eressëa, and is quite a bit younger than Finwë and Indis.

Despite her typically Telerin looks, Míriel was a Noldor at heart and immersed herself in Noldorin culture and craft, soon settling on embroidery and weaving. She even journeyed to the House of Vairë to further her textiles skills and learn from the Vala and her Maiar.

I like the idea that many elves in Valinor follow a specific Valar, learning from them and acting as emissaries and ambassadors and links between them and the elves. Any elf can choose this (e.g. Celegorm and Oromë) but it is more common among the Vanyar. It just so happens that Indis is a devotee of Vairë.

So they meet in the House of Vairë. And they’re very different. Indis is philosophical, interested in the themes, and the music, and the history of Vairë’s tapestries; Míriel inspects the stitches with a magnifying glass, and has to be stopped more than once from teasing the fibres apart to see how they’re woven together.

Indis channels logic and a cool composure, very insightful and granted foresight in many matters. She’s mindful, and always present, finding pleasure in this very moment. Míriel buzzes with ideas, sometimes her head hurts and she can’t think straight because she HAS to work through this next project, move on to the next one, she can’t step away she can’t stop. And her composure can be obliterated by one blow to her pride.

But somehow the friendship works, opposites attract sometimes. And upon their return from the house of Vairë, Míriel invites Indis to Alqualondë. And after that they visit each other often, and share letters once Míriel has learned to write Sarati. And if those letters ever start to take on a more flirting tone- well there’s no rush for them either.

It’s on one of these visits that they run into Finwë, Indis introduces her new friend, and the rest is history. It’s only after this that Indis turns her keen insight on herself and has an “oh shhiiit” moment. And now her best friends are engaged and what is she supposed to do?

She helps Míriel dress for her wedding day, arranging jewels, combing her hair, lifting the heavy embroidered fabric of the wedding dress she worked for months on over her head, and finally placing her crown on top.

They’re happy. She’s happy for them. There’s no betrayal or tricks or seduction, just love. Besides it’s probably better Finwë marries a Noldor woman anyway.

So when Míriel announces that she’s expecting a baby, Indis is sure the dull foreboding she feels is nothing but jealousy from a deep part of herself that she tries to shut away. She watches and helps Míriel as she pours all her creative efforts into beautiful things for this baby. Toys and clothes and blankets and anything else she can think of. Indis teases that the child won’t have to repeat an outfit for at least 100years at this rate. They take a trip back to the place they met and work together at one of Vairë’s vast looms to make a tapestry mural for the nursery.

But soon the frenzied crafting starts to slow. And slow more. Until Míriel barely bothers to do anything. People who know her are worried, but she just takes her husbands hand and says that she’s tired, after all she is working on something special at the moment.

When Fëanáro is born Indis watches her friend scream and curse, and eventually weep with joy as she whispers to her husband “he’s the most perfect thing we’ve ever made”

Things do get better for a while. But Míriel’s eye starts to twitch when people congratulate Finwë on their son, until eventually she barks out “of course he’d get the credit! I only did all the hard work” in a rough, sarcastic laugh that’s so unlike her. She doesn’t go to any formal events after this.

She sobs to her husband that she’s frightened. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. She’s happy, except that she’s not. She finds no joy and no inspiration, she’s cold and tired and feels like she’s fading away.

Finwë suggests a trip away, so they go back to Míriels house in Alqualondë, and she doesn’t feel as watched, as judged, less angry and paranoid.

But the grief doesn’t lift. She can’t settle to work, she can’t find anything she wants to work on, her head is emptied of ideas and full of fog and she just wants to sleep.

Indis comes to visit them and finds Míriel in the nursery one evening, crying quietly. At first she won’t talk, simply saying that she doesn’t want to wake him, but the tears don’t stop and eventually she whimpers that she’s scared, and she’s disgusted with herself. Because she loves her son so much, but she can’t help but resent him. In some small dark part of her mind she’s angry with him, for taking her happy life away from her, taking her strength and her drive.

Indis takes her hands and pulls her to her feet and down the stairs to Finwë. “we’re going to Lorien. Tonight. Staying here isn’t helping her and she needs more than this.” She towers over both of them and there’s no arguing with her tone.

Irmo and Estë help all they can. Nienna helps more. Eventually Míriel calms. Almost eerily.

One night she calls Indis to the garden of Lorien. Míriel embraces her and kisses her cheeks and thanks her for her help. She holds her hands and tells her she’s sorry, but she’s made her choice.

Indis tried to change her mind. So does Finwë when he runs toward the sound of a raised voice. Not Míriel this time.

She asks Indis for a moment with her husband. And Indis runs to fetch Fëanáro.

She hands the baby to Míriel and asks how she can leave him, he needs her.

Míriel’s face crumples but her resolve doesn’t. “I’ve already given him everything I have”

She presses the baby into her husbands arms and kisses him before lying down on the stone bench and closing her eyes. Míriel sighs, finally feeling peaceful, and doesn’t breath again.

After the resulting uproar has died down, Indis doesn’t see Finwë very much. She visits occasionally and reads his letters about Fëanáro’s brilliant progress eagerly, but nothing is ever as it was.

When they meet again by accident on Oiolossë, it all comes back to them both. They’ve missed each other, they miss Miriel, but they don’t have to loose each other. So they fall in love, and she comes back with him to Tirion while they make a plan. Fëanáro (the equivalent of a 10yo) is wonderfully pleasant to her, he asks about his mother a lot, and shows her all the things he’s learning about and working on. He’s so like Miriel that Indis doesn’t know how Finwë stands it.

When they first tell him that they want to get married, he doesn’t think much of it, at least until he picks up on the gossip and controversy, it’s only then that he starts to realise that something is different.

Indis gets ready for her own wedding without her best friend.

Fëanáro doesn’t take the Statute well, and the problems start. He decides to move away to continue his studies. Indis is not invited to visit him when his Father is.

Finwë is terrified when Indis gets pregnant with their first child, but she’s not. “I am not Miriel. As much as some might wish that were the case.”

The relationship between Fëanáro and his half siblings is a whole separate post. But the things he says about her and her children hurt Indis.

Sometimes she wants to scream at him “I knew your mother! I was her friend! I lost her too! She would hate to hear you talk to me this way!” but she won’t. She can see how he feels and she understands why, but this doesn’t mean she takes the way he treats her children lightly, and he wishes Finwë would back her more in this. But she bares it, and she teaches her children to be kind.

This all changes with the incident. Fëanáro can lash out, he can say cruel things, but he has never threatened one of her children before. And he never will again if he wants to keep his head on his shoulders. She hears the Valar’s judgement, and knows she will comfort Finwë over his sons banishment, as much as she is grateful for it.

The rage she feels when Finwë decides to go with him is cosmic. But it’s when she sees Nolofinwë’s face that she snaps. She tells him with eyes sharper than any sword that if he chooses to go, he can never come back to her. No matter what happens between his sons, she will never forgive him for what he’s doing to her’s.

The news of his death makes her heart hurt in the strangest way. She’s closed herself off from him but the pain bleeds through. At least now he can be with Miriel, she thinks. He made it clear where his heart truly lay when he left. She laughs until she sobs, then composes herself to comfort her children.

She nearly sends Fëanáro to reunite with his father in Mandos when he insights her children and grandchildren to follow him across the sea. She nearly faints when Arafinwë comes back baring tidings of the kinslaying, the streets Míriel showed her around littered with bodies and the beach they would walk along in the evening wet with blood.

Indis stands beside her youngest son when he’s crowned and moves back into her old rooms in Tirion, abandoned when Finwë left for Formenos. After all, she’s been a ruling queen for longer than Arafinwë has lived. She’ll make a good advisor.

In Mandos Míriel is faced by the life she chose to leave behind. First her husband, and then her son. She speaks with Finwë for a long time, and many hurts are healed, but they’ve both made choices they can’t take back. Míriel stands by her decision, she chose to stay, at least in part so Finwë could move on, they make their peace with other, and she encourages him to return and make peace with his other wife. News of their son’s death stops him. He knows that he will remain, it’s with Fëanáro that his heart truly lies, not Míriel, whatever Indis may think. So he appeals for her to be allowed to leave in his place, every inch the king as he points out that the statute will remain unbroken.

She is allowed to see Fëanáro once before she leaves. There are no words for how she feels. So sad, so proud. She’s so sorry to leave him again, but she promises to watch over his sons.

Míriel returns to life, but she doesn’t return to the life she left. She stays close to the halls, and goes to a timeless place, but one she knows well.

It just so happens that Indis is a devotee of Vairë.

So much is different, and there’s a lot to work through, and it’s hard. But being back where they began, with a new life for each of them, is made easier with this reprise of their youth.

And if, as their friendship blooms again into a new form, Míriel eventually asks about the specific wording of the statute, and what it means for them being the two living parts of this three person marriage, well- there’s no rush to figure it out.

#my art #oh no this got long #miriel therinde #indis #noldor #yott more like yeet #house of finwe #finwë noldoran #Feanor #mentions of postpartum depression i guess #Headcanon #miriel/finwe #miriel/indis #indis/finwe #but im not sure if its vanyar or noldor vibes #that dress tm #i didnt ship them but i accidentally made myself ship them writing this #shit i wrote a fic? #tolkien #silmarillion #finwean ladies week #finweanladiesweek

[itsclydebitches]

Hello again! Im the tinfoil hat anon with the long ass asks and I finally had the time to read your response. Thank you, it makes my day reading your answers. I honestly just enjoyed them over a cup of coffee like a good book.

Now, the gun pointing scene I mentioned was in fact the one from the droid fight facility like the other anon suggested. But I really liked that you covered the boat scene too, I haven’t thought of it much myself and now I definitely have!

I also would like to mention I love your “candy bar” choice analogy and I 100% agree Hunter’s “invitation” to join back wasn’t welcoming in the slightest. It is very likely just an obligation as you said. Sort of “you gave us a chance, we owe you a chance too”.

And the problem with it is now I am struggling to figure out how the batch members might change their attitude toward Crosshair going forward, especially Hunter. As of right now Crosshair’s best relationship is not with his brothers but with Omega(as surprising as this is). And I think he does realize now she cared about him the most out of all of them during the short time they interacted(both 1st and last episodes). Even between themselves(not counting Omega) I find most of the bad batch members to be cold and distant to each other. They feel less like a family than Rebels for example. And they aren’t even a “found family”(a trope everyone loves) but an actual one! And I get that they’re soldiers and supposed to be tough, I don’t expect them to share all “the feels”. I just can’t put my finger on it but something feels off. I agree with your previous post, the show doesn’t do a very good job showing or even telling they love each other.

Will Hunter and co only start caring about their brother again only after he leaves the empire?(assuming he does at some point). What about Disney’s prevailing theme and message that “family always love and care for each other no matter what”? I guess it’s “family always love and care for each other but only if you’re good guys making right choices”. There is no room for mistakes or wrong decisions. In the last episode everyone form the batch seemed to have given up on Crosshair(besides Omega). For now their attitude seems to be just “you’re not our enemy” and that’s that.

I realize Crosshair is a “bad guy” and consciously made his choice(and we know it’s the wrong one) but to me it felt like he thought he didn’t even had a choice or rather became so lost and confused he actually thought he chose the empire as “the lesser evil”(as in the less shitty choice out of all the other bad ones). We as audience have the benefit to know exactly how atrocious the empire really is but maybe Crosshair still doesn’t realize that.

So what exactly must Crosshair do to get back “in their good graces” as you say? Start saving “the good guys”? Save the bad batch multiple times? There is a popular opinion on how Crosshair can redeem himself. That he eventually heroically sacrifices himself to save them. I personally REALLY hope it’s NOT what’s going to happen but I heard so many people speculating his story is set up to be redemption=death. I know you mentioned you don’t want “Vader style redemption” either. Personally I think it would be a waste of a character who has a lot of potential. And I just think that the batch kind of don’t really deserve his sacrifice(maybe save for Omega) after how they never tried to save him themselves and how they treated him overall. Maybe he will risk his life to save Omega at some point and that will “prove” to Hunter he cares? Although he has already shown he cares by saving her(even if in Crosshair’s own words it’s just so they’re “even”). And the thing is, he doesn’t need to prove that he loves them, he already did that in episode 15 and made it clear he does care. He actually went to extreme by shooting his squad to prove his loyalty. What were the moments the batch demonstrated they care about him? Hunter saying “you never were our enemy” and taking his unconscious body to safety? To me Hunter “not leaving him behind” during bombardment felt more like guilt about the last time it happened and an obligation to Crosshair for helping them with droids, rather than them showing care. And I kinda of think if that was any random civilian(or anyone other than an enemy or a threat) they would carry them out too just because that’s what good guys do and not because it’s their brother. You also mentioned that minutes later Hunter snaps at him with “if you want to stay here and die, that’s your choice” which I agree can be interpreted in different ways. And I think it’s one more point to it being an obligation that in Hunter’s eyes is fulfilled now. He corrected his mistake of leaving a brother behind and saved him this time, now his guilt won’t burden him any longer.

Anyway, I can’t wait for season 2 and I appreciate you and all the anons sharing the tinfoil hat, interacting and speculating together. Those discussions have been a lot of fun!

TLDR: How do your think the relationship between the brothers will mend or evolve in the next season? Do you think S2 will improve in portraying the batch more as a family rather than a group of mercs doing missions together? What are your thoughts on the popular idea of Crosshair’s redemption by ultimate sacrifice? As in, how likely do you think this scenario is?

Anon, that is just wonderfully hilarious to me. Ah yes, the sunrise, a good cup o' joe, and the overly long character analysis of a snarky, fictional sniper. Exactly what everyone needs in the morning! 😆

You know, TBB is far from the first show I've watched where there's an obvious, emotional conclusion the creator wants the audience to come to—the squad all love each other Very Much—yet that conclusion isn't always well supported by the text. It creates this horribly awkward situation where you're going, "Yes, I'm fully aware of what the show wanted to do, but this reading, arguably, did not end up in the story itself. So what are we talking about here? The intention, or the execution?" It's like Schrödinger's Bad Batch where the group is simultaneously Very Loving and Very Distant depending on how much meta-aspects are influencing your reading: those authorial intentions, understanding of how found family tropes should work, fluff focused fics/fan art that color our understanding of the characters, etc. And, of course, whether someone saw TCW before they watched TBB. I personally wouldn't go quite so far as to say they're "cold" towards one another—with Crosshair as an exception now—but there wasn't the level of bonding among the squad that I expected of a show called The Bad Batch. Especially compared to their arc in TCW. The other night I re-watched the season seven premiere and was struck not just by how much more the squad interacted with each other back then, but how those interactions added depth to their characters too. For example, Crosshair is the mean one, right? He's the one picking fights with the Regs? Well yeah... but it's also Wrecker. While they're trying to decide what to do with Cody injured, Jesse calls out Crosshair on his attitude—"You can't talk to Captain Rex like that!"—and Wrecker's immediate response is, "Says who?" and he hefts Jesse into the air. And then he just holds him there, clearly using his superior strength to do as he pleases, until Hunter (sounding pretty angry) tells him to put Jesse down. If Wrecker had put him into a more classically understood bullying position, like pinning him to the ground, it would probably read as less funny—less "Haha strong clone lifts Jesse up in the air!" and more "Oh shit, strong clone can do whatever the hell he wants to the Regs and few are able to stop him." It's such a quick moment, but it tells us a ton about Wrecker. That he's going to stick up for his brothers, no matter the context (Crosshair deserves to be called out). That he will gleefully assist Crosshair in bothering the Regs (something that is reinforced when he later throws the trays in the mess hall, after Hunter has already deescalated the situation). That he's likely been hurt by awful treatment from the Regs too. That he'll only listen to Hunter when it comes to backing off. Little of this work—that interplay among the squad that shows us new sides to them other than basic things like "Wrecker is the nice, happy brother"—exists in TBB.

Or, at least, little exists after Omega becomes an official member of the squad.

Because, as said previously, she becomes the focus. I don't mean that as a total criticism. As established, I love Omega. But if we're talking about why the squad can feel so distant from each other, I think she's the root cause, simply because the story became all about her relationships with the Batch, rather than the Batch's relationships with each other. Having dived headfirst into reading and writing fic, it occurred to me just how many of the bonding moments we love, the sort of stuff we'll see repeated in fics because we understand that this is where the story's emotional center is, are given to Omega in canon:

Someone is hurt and in need of comfort. Omega's emotional state is the focus + moments like her being worried over Hunter getting shot.

Someone needs to learn a new skill. Echo teaches Omega how to use her bow.

Someone reveals a skill they never knew they had before. Omega is a strategic genius and plays her last game with Hunter.

Someone is in serious danger and in need of rescue. Omega rescues the group from the slavers + is the most vocal about rescuing Hunter. (Which, again, is a pretty sharp contrast to the whole Crosshair situation.) Omega, in turn, needs rescuing from things like the decommission conveyor belt.

Similarly, someone is kidnapped and in need of rescue. Omega is kidnapped twice by bounty hunters and the Batch goes after her.

Someone saves another's life. Omega saves Crosshair from drowning.

Someone does something super sweet for another. Wrecker gives Omega her room. Omega gives Wrecker Lula.

A cute tradition is established between characters. Wrecker has his popcorn-esque candy sharing with Omega.

Someone hurts someone else and has to ask forgiveness. Wrecker is upset about nearly shooting Omega and they have that sweet moment together.

Note that most of these examples could have occurred between other Batch members, but didn't. Someone could have created a space for Echo on the ship too. Wrecker also could have apologized to Tech for choking him, etc. It's not that those moments shouldn't happen with Omega, just that there should be more of a balance across the whole season, especially for a show supposedly focused on the original squad. Additionally, it's not that cute bonding moments between the rest of the Batch don't exist. I love Hunter selling Echo off as a droid. I love Wrecker and Tech bickering while fixing the ship. I love the tug-of-war to save Wrecker from the sea monster. Yes, we do have moments... it's just that comparatively it feels pretty skewed in Omega's direction.

So, as a VERY long-winded way of answering your question, I think we need to fix the above in order to tackle Crosshair's redemption in season two. Now that we've had a full season focused on Omega, we need to strike a better balance among the rest of the squad moving forward. We need to re-established the "obvious" conclusion that the rest of the Batch loves Crosshair and that's done (in part) by establishing their love for one another too. To my mind, both goals go hand-in-hand, especially since you can develop their relationship with Crosshair and their relationships with each other simultaneously. Imagine if instead of just having Wrecker somewhat comically admit that he misses Crosshair (like he's dead and they can't go get him??), he and Tech had a serious conversation about why they can't get him back yet, despite very much wanting to. Imagine if Echo, the one who was rescued against all odds, got to scream at Hunter to go get Crosshair like Omega screamed at them to go back for Hunter. Imagine if we'd gotten more than a tiny arc in TCW to establish the Batch's dynamic with each other, providing a foundation for how they would each react to Crosshair's absence. Instead, what little we've got in TBB about Crosshair's relationship with his brothers is filtered through Omega: Omega's embarrassment that she knocked over Crosshair's case, Omega treating Crosshair's comm link like a toy, Omega's quest to save Hunter that just happened to involve Crosshair along the way.

Obviously, at this point we can't fix how the first season did things, but I think we can start patching over these issues in season two. It would be jarring—we'd still be 100% correct to ask where this "Brothers love you, support you, and will endlessly fight for you" theme was for Crosshair's entire time under the Empire's thumb... but I'd take an about-face into something better than not getting any improvement at all. It is frustrating though, especially for a show that I otherwise really, really enjoyed. For me, the issue isn't so much that the show made a mistake (since no show is perfect), but that the mistake is attached to such a foundational part of the franchise. Not just in terms of "SW is about hope and forgiveness" but the specific relationship most clones have with each other: a willingness to go above and beyond for their brothers. The focus on Omega aside, it's hard to believe in the family dynamic when one member of the family was so quickly and easily dismissed. I couldn't get invested in Hunter's rescue as much as I should have because rather than going, "Yes!! Save your brother!!!" my brain just kept going, "Lol where was this energy for Crosshair?" It messes with your reading of the whole story, so in order to fix that mistake going forward, we need to start seeing the bonds that only sometimes exist in season one. Show the guys expressing love for one another more consistently (in whatever way that might be—as you say, soldiers don't have to be all touchy-feely. Give us more moments like Wrecker supporting his brothers' bad habits) and then extend that to Crosshair. Which brother is going to demand that they fight for him? Which brother is going to acknowledge that they never tried to save him? Which brother is going to question this iffy statement about the chip? In order to buy into the family theme, Omega can't be the only one doing that emotional work.

Ideally, I wouldn't want Crosshair to go out of his way to prove that he's a good guy now. I mean, I obviously want him to stop helping the Empire and such, duh lol, but I'm personally not looking for a bunch of Extra Good Things directed at the Batch as a requirement for forgiveness. Simply because that would reinforce the idea that they're 100% Crosshair's victims, Crosshair is 100% the bad guy, and he's the only one who needs to do any work to fix this situation. Crosshair needs to stop doing bad things (working for Empire). But the Batch needs to start doing good things too (reaching out to him). Especially since Crosshair made a good play already, only to be met with glares and distrust. He saved Omega! And AZI! And none of them cared. So am I (is Crosshair) supposed to believe that saving one of their lives again will result in a different reaction? That doesn't make much sense. And no, his own life wasn't at risk when he did that, but does every antagonist need to die/nearly die to prove they're worth fighting for? As you say, he's already shown that he loves them, far more than they've shown the reverse. Every time Crosshair hurt them (attacking) it was while he was under the chip's influence. In contrast, the group has no "I was being controlled" excuse for when they hurt him (abandonment). Season two needs to acknowledge the Batch's responsibility in all this—and acknowledge that they're all victims of the Empire—in order to figure out an appropriate arc for Crosshair's redemption.

Right now, the issue is not Crosshair loving his brothers, the issue is how Crosshair chooses to express that love: trying to keep them safe and giving them a purpose in life by joining the organization that's clearly going to dominate the galaxy. The only way to fix that, now that his offer has been rejected, is for him to realize that a life on the run from the Empire, together, is a better option for everyone. And the only way for that to happen is for the Batch to seriously offer him a place with them again. They need to make the first move here. They need to fight for him. And yeah, I totally get that a lot of people don't like that because it's not "fair." He's the bad guy. He's with the fascist allegory. He's killed people and has therefore lost any right to compassion and effort from the good guys... but if that's the case, then we just have to accept that (within the story-world, not from a writing perspective) Crosshair is unlikely to ever come back from this. When people reach that kind of low, they rarely pull themselves out on their own. They need other people to help them do that. Help them a lot. But with the exception of Omega's reminder—which Crosshair can't believe due to how everyone else has treated him—they leave him alone and seem to expect him to fix himself first, then he gets their support. It needs to be the other way around. Support is what would allow him to become a good guy again, not "Well, you'll get our love when you're good again, not before." That's unlikely to occur and, as discussed, it doesn't take into account things like this bad guy life being forced on Crosshair at the start. If the story really wanted this to be a matter of ideological differences... then make it about ideological differences. Let Crosshair leave of his own free will, right at the start. Don't enslave him for half the season, have him realize he was abandoned, imply all that brainwashing, give him no realistic way out, and then punish him for not doing the right thing. This isn't a situation where someone went bad for the hell of it—the story isn't asking us to feel compassion for, say, the Admiral—it's a situation where Crosshair was controlled and now can't see a way out. That context allows for the Batch, the good guys, to fight for him without the audience thinking the show is just excusing that behavior. They should have been fighting from the start, but since they didn't, I hope we at least start seeing that in season two.

Ultimately though... I don't really expect all of the above. The more balanced dynamics and having the Batch fight for Crosshair rather than Crosshair going it alone... I wouldn't want to bet any money on us getting it, just because these are things that should have been established in season one and would have been more easy to pull off in season one. (If the Batch wouldn't fight for Crosshair while he was literally under the Empire's control, why would they fight now when he's supposedly acting of his own free will? It's backwards in terms of the emotional effort involved.) But again, it could happen! I'd be very pleased if it did happen, despite the jarring change. I don't want to make it sound like I think they're going to write off Crosshair entirely. Far from it, I think there are too many details like his sad looks for that, to say nothing of Omega's compassion. But the execution of getting him on Team Good Guys again might be preeeetty bumpy. I expect it to revolve around Crosshair's sins and Crosshair's redemption, even if what I would like is balancing that with Crosshair's loss of agency, the Batch's mistakes, and their own redemption towards him.

Honestly though, I just hope that whatever happens happens soon. It's a personal preference, absolutely, but after a season of Crosshair as the antagonist, I'm ready for him to be back with the group, making the Empire (and bounty hunters) the primary enemy. Whether his return happens through a mutual acknowledgement of mistakes, or through Crosshair being depicted as the only one in the wrong who has to do something big to be forgiven... just get him back with the squad lol. Because if the writing isn't going to delve into that nuance, then the longer he remains unforgiven, the longer some of us have to watch a series while going, "Wait, wait, wait, I really don't agree with how you're painting this picture."

#TBB #The Bad Batch #SW #Star Wars #mymetas #long post

[frogmentarii]

QUESTIONS FOR OC CREATORS

Haaaa ok so I am doing this cause i saw @fallout-lou-begas steal it from @tarberrymentats and they both looked like they were havin hella fun so i am commandeering this for my own purposes. So lucky for yall its Emi time (art by the dearest @yesjejunus because yall need to see more of her work)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Because she's an older woman (57) that breaks a lot of moulds and I love to see it. Aside from just enjoying older characters, Emi isn't a sweet old lady and she isn't here to try and mother anyone. Her drives are entirely her own and while she prioratizes herself and her sister before anyone else, its not always due to complete selfishness and just due to growing up in the wastes (I try to keep her character true to a fend for yourself setting as possible). I think Ill go into detail in another question with this, but I went through a lot of concepts and personalities for Emi before settling on someone who was seasoned and very much a product of the wastes. I think after seeing a lot of other couriers I finally figured out what I wanted to do differently, and that sort of helped guide her to become what she is today.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I think my last line there sort of short answers this. I wanted someone different from the other couriers I saw, and wanted to make one that was distinct or even juxtaposed against some tropes. She's a woman in her late 50s that doesnt try and play mom/granny to the companions, she very much has no stake in what happens to the Mojave, she doesnt care about Benny or that he shot her in the head (such is life in the Mojave, but she did have a job to complete so ripperoni him), and a lot of her motivations are selfish or exist to benefit her sister. She doesnt act 'old' in the fact that she isn't a wise caring soul or a grumpy old man, but rather her age is shown through her experience, and this also shapes her personality. She's never had to formally 'grow up' so she can come off as immature and irritating for her own entertainment, but she doesn't have youthful ignorance for how the world works. She knows how to be responsible but she doesnt have to act like it outwardly, even with her Tragic Caregiver Backstory.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

To a large degree in the beginning, yes, and to specific degrees now, also yes. Writing in general isnt my strong point though I did know what I wanted for her. The main image is there but the details are funky, and Ive been slowly hammering those out as I work along with her and Camila's stories. There's been some huge changes along the way that help push both of them towards an ending I like and that fits them, and even if it takes forever and I never actually write a fic, I'll be happy when she finally feels completed in New Vegas.

Aside from that, she kind of fits in anywhere in regards to AUs. My friend @yesjejunus and I have probably like 40000 fucking aus for our OCs and all of them feel just as organic and their canon stories.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

So I know I have an 'original concept Emilia' art on here where she looked like Laura Croft and had aviators but that wasnt even her first concept. I had originally wanted to make a petite southern belle type from Louisiana who used a shot gun and had a mean streak, but as I kept playing with concepts Emi really started to lean other places. Another huge change was her personality. Even when her concept got settled as a sniper from Mexico, she was suppose to be an early 30s caravan guard who was way too sure of herself. While there are reminents of that concept still in her, she has a lot more experience in the wastes and in think-on-your-feet situations to back up her attitude. Another thing she required was dropping her "take me seriously" personality with more goofy "i do what i want cause why not" traits.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Emi can get along with anyone at a surface level, for a small while, if it will benefit her or she wants to pass time. She really doesn't have interest in folks who arent interesting or beneficial in some way. Since I don't really offer her much, and am a bit of a wet bag, she might yank my chain for her own funsies or she'd have no interest.

And while I did indeed give Emi my go with the flow attitude, I think I wouldn't be able to keep up with her. Emi is very fast paced and doesnt necessarily have regard for those she decides to pick up as drinking buddies for the night. Def dont trust her with my life, and knowing the shit she gets into I'd def want to steer clear of it....like a trainwreck its much better to watch her from a safe distance, lol.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

A lot of affection from a meta standpoint? I've worked with Emi and Cam a lot since creating them, and they've def come a long way since their original concepts. I wouldn't say their story is quite where I want it yet, but I am quite happy with it overall.

That, and Ive met so many awesome writers along the way with Emi. Not all of my friends have posted fic but the amount of world building and having our characters interact and talking OCs ive done with them has placed both Emi and their OCs in a special place for me. Sure her having her own story is fun but I much more prefer the bonds Ive created with people over OCs and I think thats a bit more of a cherished component to character creation for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Literally? That she likes to be irritating if she feels she can get away with it (or even if she cant). Actually? That she has a very "I shelter you and feed you therefore I make the rules, period." stance on how she takes care of her charge. She lets a lot of shit slide with Camila but things get very Rapunzel-esque at times.

H) What trait do you admire most?

How sure of herself she is. Even if its to a fault, she trusts herself and her judgements. That sort of confidence is something I strive to have haha.

To a lesser degree, and more of a meta point I wanted to make with her, just...her appearance I suppose? To me she's attractive, but she also has a lot of traits that aren't conventionally attractive and that's played a lot into how Ive wanted her to be. Again she's 57 years old. She has age to her body, her skin wrinkles and droops, her tits sag, she has the body of someone who uses chems, and yet despite her age and breaking of beauty standards ive made it a point to show that she is desired or thought of as attractive in non fetish specific circumstances. She herself, while aro, also still has an active sex drive and I really wanted this to be a backseat part of her character, as I feel like fandom in general shafts older women in this department (this also goes for a lot of her non 'old lady' traits I give her too). She still has sexual needs and is still very much sexually active, and she is still found to be a regular sort of attractive and is desired by those she gets involved with.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Yes? Ish, to a degree. I didnt have to but I wanted to. I also did a lot of headcanoning with post Mexico for her early life which, afaik is free real estate for lore/nothing super detailed has been given in canon.

Given that she and Camila both shape their stories as individuals, I did have to split up some canon elements to follow two seperate characters, but other than that I really just had to make sure Emilia's story wasnt "boring" in the fact that she again, has no real stake in what happens to Vegas/the Mojave.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Cackles in 'which au will I obsess with today'

For the most part yes, however I love placing her in new things or different stories. She may be 'my courier' but really shes just the frog granny that goes into whatever au I am feeling at the time.

#courier six #emilia #emi #emilia vazquez #fnv

[cross-d-a]

heads up 7 up

post the last seven sentences of your latest project (meta, fic, any other writing)

omgg i am finally getting to this!!!! @vishcount u always tag me in the best things thank uuuuu!!! i just adore reading all the snippets you send me?? like????? i literally CRIED reading That One Scene the other night and i hardly ever cry when reading!!!! u truly are a goddess and u Ruin me with all your dmbj thoughts ♡

because i am a CHEAT i am doing more than one project bc hello???? too many aus. also, doing ~7 or fewer sentences :)

★ first off I have the year-late HP birthday fic for my dear, dear @haru-tl. pls hit me for not having this finished yet. im an idiot and we all kno it. i tried really REALLLLLYY hard to find a snippet that wouldn't immediately give away the plot xD. i figure u deserve a piece of what i've been cruelly denying u haha:

"Severus only ever catches pieces of him: his laughter, warm and lingering. His hair, a frightful mess of dark curls. His hands, steady and rough, a lovely dark tan that’s as warm as his voice, as warm as a fresh cup of tea cradled between his palms. His eyes, a bottle green. A scar, pale and tangled upon his brow. It stretches its spindly fingers to caress his temple, kiss his cheek, to whisper along the length of his nose."

★ this is from the whispers of spirits, a dmbj fic centered around Li Cu & Liu Sang in Reboot wherein i just....go hog wild on all the stuff i was unsatisfied with, particularly the Princess Mute and Li Cu's spirit snake. this bit is kind of a flashback scene I'm not sure where to put yet:

“Mr. Jiao was predictably arrogant, predictably sleezy. He wielded English like someone might wear 24k gold: as if he thought it was the best way to boast wealth and privilege. He rattled off a price that would have made Liu Sang choke several years ago. It almost made him choke now. But he didn’t. Liu Sang was more professional than that, and he couldn’t afford to show any weakness here.”

★ i've been sitting on a half finished chapter of my ye zun indulgence fic, things we hunger for (guardian), for like 2 months now ( ; A ; ) i seriously need to get back to it bc it might be one of my fav things i’ve ever published???:

"Seeing Shen Wei now, moving about the kitchen like this is his own home, Ye Zun realizes it’s like hearing something slot into place, like a key in a lock. Or perhaps it’s like watching someone add a few strokes to a character, turning it into something new, yet familiar. It makes something in his mind settle and curl content, like: yes. Yes, this is how it’s supposed to be.

It’s a dangerous thought."

★ this is from a Wu Xie/Poly Reboot fic I've had bouncing around for several months now cause like- everyone one loves Wu Xie and he deserves all the love anyway :'):

"His father calls him greedy, but that’s okay because Wu Xie is. He’s greedy for affection and maybe he’s naïve, just like Pangzi says, for giving his heart away so easily. But when someone smiles at Wu Xie and means it?

Well.

That was how he fell so hard to Xiao Ge in the first place. He’d already been feeling a sense of mineminemine, but the second he could read the smile in Xiao Ge’s eyes he was gone. Dust. That was it for him. Here was his second heart, living and breathing and smiling right at him."

★ aaaaand finally we’ve got the star wars/dmbj au @jockvillagersonly and i have been screaming about to each other. omg i’m so Gone on this au. jockvillagersonly you’re such an enabler thank you ♡ also, i really couldn’t help but do more than 7 sentences.....:

“Wu Xie really hates how artful the fall of ink-dark hair is across the man’s brow. All pretty and perfect, like careful strokes of a brush. Like something right off the sinful side of the Holonet. 

“Tianzhen!” Pangzi hisses, elbowing Wu Xie hard in the ribs. “What the kriff are you doing?! I thought you hated Force-users!”

Admiring the equally perfect curve of Zhang Qiling’s backside, Wu Xie jabs Pangzi back. Right in the gut. Ignoring how Pangzi chokes and splutters, Wu Xie doesn’t say that he thought he did, too. He doesn’t say that all changed when he toppled from the Hanava tree. When Zhang Qiling reached out like he could catch him, like he had any reason to catch him. And those long fingers crooked as if he was holding something precious, and Wu Xie—

Wu Xie felt something soft and warm envelope him whole as he stared into Zhang Qiling’s dark, dark eyes, and his body slowed until he was floating midair.

Wu Xie certainly doesn’t tell Pangzi he’s developed a startling new kink. 

Pangzi might never recover.”

once again. sorry not sorry i did this differently. i’ve got too many things i’m working on at the moment haha. and omg vish thank u again for tagging me bc it’s so fun to share things i’m working on :’)

tagging @jockvillagersonly @lichelleme @undyingsunshine and @traineecryptid plus anyone else who wants to share their writing!!! ｡ﾟ✶ฺ.ヽ(*´∀`*)ﾉ.✶ฺﾟ｡

#tag game #finally finished this thing hahaha omg it was fun tho!! #so difficult to choose what i wanted to share!!!!! #my fic #cross talks

[keeptheotherone]

Recap

There’s been lots of firsts: the first fic I wrote, the first I posted, my first fic idea, first NaNo, first challenge, first collaboration, first novel-length fic, first Big Bang, first art, first author interview, my first second fandom (does that count?). I told you the best idea I’ve ever had and shared secrets about Faintest, Slimmest, Wildest Chance, the Auror series, Hidden Chambers and Unseen Monsters, In Love and War, and “Everyone Says So” (OBHWF 13). 

We’ve had meta, head canon, and new content (Ginny and her nieces, Charlie and Amy, Smutty Claus 2013, “The Melted Elf” with dialogue from White Collar, Lily Luna’s impending arrival, and an extremely rare poem).

I’ve talked about friendships, answered your questions, and shared prop photos. But there is one thing that I haven’t done....

Plans

I am supposed to be working on the last of my Sherlolly trilogy, The One Where Mary Gets Involved, for the WIP Big Bang. That’s ... not going so well, but I do intend to finish that fic this year.

Do You Promise is the fic that has been preoccupying my spring. I’m about five chapters in with minimal idea where Charlie and Amy are going, but they haven’t been shy about saying what they want so far!

I would LOVE to start the 8th year school-year fic by the end of this year; we shall see. Moving from plans to dreams, I still want to do another fic in the Auror series exploring who leaked the photo of Ron and Dolohov to the press, plus the party fic I talked about earlier in the week. I’ve had Sherlolly vibes about Adele’s 25 ever since it came out, I told the Hinny Discord I’d do a Romione songfic, I have a great scene between Ginny and Draco that just needs a fic to go in, I want to do a Quidditch fic with Ginny around her first nationals/World Cup, I have probably half-a-dozen ideas for OBHWF (about half Next-Gen and half Hogwarts-era characters), I’d like to do some outtakes from Manic Monday and The One Where Sherlock Sleeps With Molly. I have some scenes for a Mythea set in the US and a combination Greg & Mycroft friendship Mycroft/Anthea romance fic. 

In other words, I have more ideas than I know what to do with and unless I manage some focus and discipline, I could write 100K and still not finish anything!

I’m also probably going to start writing for publication; I’ve spent the last ten years saying no, writing is a fun hobby and I don’t want it to turn into work but this last year has changed not only my life, it’s changed me, and I think I’m ready. I want to do a nursing memoir as a collection of one-shots (y’all are ‘bout the only people in my life who understand what I mean by that) and I also have a romance novel idea that has been floating in my brain for literally decades. 

Acknowledgements

Thank you to anyone who’s ever read any of my work. To those who leave favorites or kudos, who alert/subscribe, who review and comment. I love all y’all! <3 I think words would ooze out of me even without an audience, but there certainly would be no point in sharing and only a mere fraction of the joy, reward, and satisfaction I get from interacting with each of you, whether it be here, FF, AO3, or an inbox somewhere. Never ever doubt your notifications make me smile :) You special few I know IRL--feed yourself some chocolate or ice cream today. You have helped nurture an artist, and that is no small thing.

For my Tumblrers, followers and lurkers alike: thank you for playing! For liking and reblogging and asking and cheering and supporting--you’ve helped make this celebration fun, even if I have lost more sleep in the last ten days than the last ten weeks.

(I have more, but I really have to go to bed now ... it’s 90 min past my bedtime and I’m responsible for keeping people alive tomorrow. So a few staggery late posts b/c I’m the dingbat who decided to pick up two extra shifts while doing this big project and planning three trips in 10 days the week after this, so ... yeah. Goodnight!)

#ktoo turns 10 #ktoo talks fic #about ktoo

[babywarg]

Writing Tag Game

I've never done this and it looks like fun! Thanks for the tag, @visionarygalaxy 💖

No tags, but please do this, it is a fun fic retrospective thing.

(I apologize if I missed any tags for previous memes - this has been a terribly busy seven days. Please ping me via PM if I missed anything 💖)

AO3 Name: babywarg

Fandoms: recently, MCU; specifically, ironstrange. previously: tenipuri (RIKKAIDAI!!), katekyou hitman reborn, gensomaden saiyuki, hobbit movies, yst/rw, yyh, etc. i'm a one-fandom-at-a-time person

Tropes: Uhhh I am not sure I have one. Two switches with dominant personalities occasionally duking it out and then giving way just a little bit to let the other in, I suppose... (I privately refer to it as “semepile” but there should be a better word for it out there)

Number of Fics: 83 total for all pseuds; just 65 for babywarg

Fic I spent the most time on: definitely my first multichapter, Settling for a Miracle - i'm STILL spending time on it!

Fic I spent the least time on: all the fics that are below 1000 words 😺 His Storms has a special place in my heart because it came fully formed in my head; putting it down on paper was effortless.

Longest Fic: co-written: Particles (with the brilliant @amethyst-noir​ <3). solo ride: Settling for a Miracle

Shortest Fic: that is a complete ficlet and not a meta: Waking Up Beside Him for the First Time

Most Hits: No Longer Human

Most Kudos: Love Through Time

Most Comment Threads: co-written: Particles. solo ride: Settling for a Miracle

Most Bookmarks: Love Through Time

Total Word Count: 360,200

Favourite Fic I Wrote: here's a quick 10:

1. What Comes Next

2. No Longer Human

3. Our Time Together

4. Love Through Time

5. Particles (although I’m sort of cheating because I love the parts that @amethyst-noir wrote the most 😺)

6. Saying Your Names

7. Stigmata

8. Seven Days in Love

9. A History of Love

10. Hold Back the Night

Fic I want to rewrite/expand on: Saying Your Names. it feels like there's a lot of lore in this fantasy AU that i wasn't able to explore in just 5 chapters.

Share a bit of WIP or story you are planning: okay! tagging @wspaceblog for this because it's a WIP of something we've been talking about 😺

Tony grew up in his father's tailoring shop. In his three decades there, he had witnessed a lot of people coming and going - but few truly made an impression on him.

Off the top of his head, in fact, he could think of only two:

One was someone who never set foot in the shop at all. It was a boy about twelve (Tony's age), bone-thin and pale, with dirty blonde hair.

He always looked like he had come out of a fight - there was sometimes a bruise on his face, or a torn sleeve, or a ripped shirt collar. But always, he entered Tony's line of sight with a sort of rage burning in his baby blue eyes.

He would stand in front of the shop and look up at the display mannequins, which changed clothes every Wednesday - and, slowly but surely, the anger on his face would fade.

It would take on a serene look - as if he were staring not at clothes, but at works of art.

And sometimes the boy would look beyond the mannequins, and set those baby blues on Tony's face. And when he saw that Tony noticed, he became flustered. A touch of color graced those gaunt cheekbones.

More than once, Tony opened the door to the shop, hoping to invite the boy in. But the boy always fled whenever he heard the knob turn.

- and in the end, it was all right, because Tony's dad hated letting "the rabble" into his exclusive shop. That boy neatly fit into his father's definition of "the rabble."

One day, the boy just stopped standing in front of the shop. Tony always wondered where he'd gone.

The other was someone who arrived way later: a boy about nineteen (Tony's age). He strode in with the confidence of someone who could afford the goods.

Tony never actually knew if the boy had money. He only knew that the boy was good at looking like he did.

And he only knew that the boy liked running his fingers over the finest cloth they had.

His dad didn't like this, of course, but didn't see any cause to throw him out. The boy wasn't damaging the merchandise.

He just sent Tony out to deal with the kid. And Tony had to deal with the kid a lot. The kid visited the shop several times, just looking and touching for a few minutes, and just letting Tony talk about the selections on which he lingered.

The kid had a self-important air about him that unsettled Tony somewhat, but at the same time, drew him in.

Tony's dad didn't like him.

That might have been part of what made it so much fun for Tony to escort him all over the shop, telling him anything and everything that came to mind - all but spilling his most precious trade secrets and sewing tips.

Tony didn't mind if the kid just came to waste time; his quiet, yet intense presence was welcome.

One day, the kid found it: the cloth with the exact pattern and texture that he wanted. His holy grail.

It was a good choice, too - one of their most tasteful, most expensive velvets.

"How much to make a fully bespoke suit out of this?" the kid asked him.

And Tony was taken aback, first by how soft and sultry the boy's voice was - exquisite, like mulberry silk.

And then, by how clear and brilliant his eyes were. Like subtly colored glass.

No choice, really, but for Tony to turn on the charm.

"For you," Tony said, all saccharine, "just six thousand."

(What? The kid was hot, but Tony wasn't about to go too low on a suit made of one of the best fabrics in the house.)

The kid didn't dispute the figure. He fell silent for a moment, feeling the scrap of cloth between his fingers in a light, almost reverent manner.

"I'll need a fully bespoke suit in a few years," the kid eventually said. "That fabric had better be ready for me."

"Years?" Tony echoed with unflagging sweetness. "We don't reserve for that long, especially not without a deposit. And especially not when people can still grow out of the cut." He gently took the fabric from the boy's hand. Their fingers briefly touched, and Tony brushed aside the light tingle that crept up his spine on contact. "Come back a few months before you actually need the suit, okay? And I'll personally see what we can do for you."

The boy just stood, staring into Tony's eyes as if determining his sincerity.

Then, the boy nodded, and wordlessly left the store.

He didn't come back in the following days. Or months. Or years, even, as initially stated.

The boy hadn't even left his name. By all accounts, this told Tony that he wasn't actually serious about the reservation.

But Tony still kept a few yards of the velvet material he had chosen stored away. He wasn't sure why.

#ironstrange #strangeiron #meme #tony stark #stephen strange #iron man #doctor strange #fic snippet

[rayonfrozenwings]

Hey mutuals, followers and p0rn bots, 

Its my blogs 3rd birthday! 

I’ve been lurking, posting, ranting in the SJM fandom on tumblr for three years and that’s kinda Crazy to me. 

So here are some fun Facts that kinda evolve into an appreciation post… and then an anecdotal history of this fandom I’ve been a part of. So thanks for hanging round and talking shit with me. :D

if ur tagged it’s just like a thanks or when I met you - lol you don’t have to read the whole thing... 

and the rest is under the cut.... 

I only liked posts for the First month, I never reblogged. It was my first time on tumblr.

I’ve had the same URL since the start

The first post I reblogged and commented on was @miladyaelin ‘s post about a Volcano in the Frozen Wastes - such a wasted opportunity for World destruction that was not used to full potential at all in KoA hahaha - maybe a spin off series? joke.

The first person to reply to one of my asks was abookandacoffee or @bookofmirth 3 months after I joined tumblr and that’s kinda scary because that means we have been speaking longer than we realised. 

@propshophannah​ thanks for letting me go nuts about theory with you!

The Big blogs in the SJM fandom change, and it's cool that being in the fandom for so long means that I get to talk with all these people and make some real friends.

I made read friends from reading books and talking about them - How Cool Is That!

I had fun making shit posts about Dorian’s couch, Rowan’s relationship status after EoS and seeing my friends come up with some pretty clever memes too. 

The Art is amazing, and actually getting to talk to artists about their art is something I didn't think would happen ever. So I’m so grateful to tumblr for that.

I want to tag a lot of people but - having been here so long means that urls change and I lose touch - plus I think I would go over the “50 tag limit” easily. 

The first kiwi blog who I talked to was @verifiefangirl and we bonded over the Old El Paso advert of “why not both”. 

I want to thank those who encouraged me to write my theories, and I did that for the first year on here. 

I want to say thank you to the people who told me “You know, you can write your theories as fic and people don't get as angry.” Because you were right! And so that started my writing of fan fic, and thank you to those people who wanted to be tagged and let me know what was up - sorry I haven’t written in a while. 

Thank You to @faenet and my Faenet Fam. I joined to share theories, switched it up to write fic, and then evolved into Edits. I was able to learn how discord works and be a part of a team and learn new photo editing skills - I knew nothing before I joined and it's so cool to have become a part of that community.

Thanks to my BookClub brotp - It’s been the best getting to know you all over the last year, discuss books and life. And just have fun. I honestly wouldn't have connected with you guys if we just relied on tumblr because it often requires me to say something first, and i'm not good at that. @theyretheirthere​ sorry I had to tag you twinnie. :P 

Some Fandom History for those who have been here a while ... (well for as long as I have been in the fandom, I know there was a time before this).

Phase One - POST EOS Theory and Beach Scene Debate, Elorcan exists now even tho People still HATE Lorcan (not me but lots of people did). ACOMAF love, nickname of Tam the tampon takes off. 

Phase Two - PRE ACOWAR, Moreil Hype, Fandom super excited, Acomaf love, Rhysand love.

Phase Three - ACOWAR IS AWFUL - Dumpsters on Fire, lots of fandom people left. The ones who stayed had discourse about Moriel, Mor’s sexuality, Nessian, the ending and how it was rushed, Azriel is a smol cinnamon roll who deserved better - lots of Az fics and the birth of Elriel started here. 

Phase Four - TOG FANDOM ARE MAD because Chaol’s novella turned into a Novel. Cyber bullying of Chaol lovers in fandom led to a lot of blogs leaving - just be kind to one another, you can talk about stuff without personal attacks.   

Phase Five - WE ARE ALL GOING STIR CRAZY, Someone released a TOD mock cover and there was a lot of ableist stuff going on. Bad time in fandom. 

Phase six - TOD Came out - Lots of people refused to read, other people felt vindicated about theories, other people were shocked about Maeve. Praise and Hate towards the book and for how SJM handled race and disability. Was she being sensitive or appropriating? Mixed Reviews, again fandom got a little smaller. Acotar Fandom was taking off in terms of fics. 

Phase Seven - Acotar Fandom PRE ACOFAS Fan Fic Mania. Most of us re-read acotar, acomaf, acowar and Fix-it fics, Nessian Fics, Feysand Fics, Lots of Fics. Lots of Art. I noticed the ACOTAR fandom kinda took off while the TOG one floundered.

Phase Eight - A New Novella for ACOTAR, ACOFAS - lots of hype. Lots of mixed reviews - “it had no plot” or “I love it” or “I don't like how the first pov changed depending on the character” or “Yay christmas!!!” or “boo wall scene” or “yay Wall scene!!” Again - more fics and art came from it. Snowball fight was a highlight, art was gorgeous, Amren as a snowball was also good. Fandom was flourishing again, yes we lost some people but we also had a resurgence in creative content.

Weird non-phase - Catwoman: Soul Stealer, was released but wasn't a “must read” for many people.

Phase Nine - Pre KoA, Fandom was Hyped! We were all doing our re-reads, theories came out again, discussions about favourite quotes of things we had forgotten were shared. Again - Some good ToG fic came out because people had it fresh in their minds again  - we were preparing. Edits were great, lots of Edits, Lots of Art. 

Phase Ten - KoA Came out and destroyed us. Fandom was relatively quiet while people abandoned tumblr to read it. Anti’s came out in force, they had more to say about it that the fans did. Fans didn't see this immediately because they weren't on tumblr. About a month after release, We got Meta and discourse on KoA and what it means and what Aelin’s story has meant to us personally. Edits started taking off again. This Phase is still ongoing even a year later. Personally I am in Awe of that book and what it managed to achieve, I wanted to re-read it straight away but it still has so many parts that HURT to read. 

New people slowly trickle into fandom, or pick up the books, its sweet, but as a veteran sometimes seeing the same arguments gets tiring and so I dont comment as much as I used to. I’m still here reading, but I don't really want to write another essay like the ones I've previously written to defend a point so i’m quiet. 

Where I think it will go next? 

Most of the people who remain in the fandom are good at looking at things with a critical eye but saying “I can still enjoy a book”, which I like. 

We will get hyped as a fandom for Crescent City which was pushed back to March 2020, even if we are unsure it’s what we want, I don't think we can help ourselves. 

ACOTAR 4 is in the works with no confirmed release date, just vague mention that it was being pushed back - twas supposed to be 2020 but I'm doubtful, especially if other titles are pushed back first like CC:HOEAB - it was by three months from Jan to March. 

WOTOG was also pushed back, first from release with EoS, then from release with ToD and now from release with KoA (those are all goodreads dates as I was waiting for it and keeping an eye out, but we also had novels added and other books like acofas - goodreads also isn't the best at staying on top of release dates)…. we have had mention of it that it will include art and is co-authored by Lynette Noni, so It is still being made at least - I mean I don't have to cry about it being cancelled just yet. And So I have to stay around for those. I became invested in the World building of TOG to not wait for WOTOG. 

So yeah, it’s been a wild 3 years. <3

#you dont need to read all this i just started writing and couldnt stop #obviously its my own experience as we all take highlights from things differently #renee rambles #renee rambles about her three years on tumblr #i might do another post for how im gonna celebrate but i need to organise it and i havent yet so something is kinda in the works #i only realised two days ago that i had been here so long #perks of not deleting my 52000 unread emails #so yea #i really want to tag everyone but wont #because if i miss someone ill be so sad #nice fandom is nice #sjm fandom #to scared to tag it with other fandom tags

[theteapotofdoom]

So I don’t like to mix up my actual real life with fiction because I like to keep the two separates and I don’t even like to drop some facts about me on this website, and I know that by now 70% of you follow me for Shigaraki Tomura content but fuck it, you’re gonna hear me talking about how important Theon Greyjoy is to me.

At this point, Theon Greyjoy is legit a part of my life. I started to watch GoT right after my graduation when I was 17. Although Tyrion will forever be in my heart as the first character I fell in love with, Theon hit me like a storm in season 2. I know it’s the season when he was supposed to be hateable but I never truly got that because every single time I looked at him, even when he was doing something awful, the only thing in my mind was “god this poor fucking kid ... he is just so lost ...” and that stuck with me.

I’m not gonna start to compare my actual privileged happy life with GoT because god that would be stupid, but let me share one thing. When parents separated when I was four, I have no memory of a life with the two of them together and always had two families. And this two families turned out to be pretty damn different, different rules, different vibes, different moods, different relationships ... I’m 22 now, and it’s always a little bit of whiplash to go from one side to the other. So Theon being torn apart by between the Starks and the Greyjoys? Theon never fitting with the Starks because he acts too much like a Greyjoy, and never fitting with Greyjoy because he acts too much like a Stark? Theon being uncomfortable and confused no matter where he is? Theon acting too hard against the Stark because he is desperate to be a Greyjoy again, and still not being Greyjoy enough to get his family’s approval? I felt that. I fucking felt that with every fibre of my being.

So yeah, I latched onto him, I projected hard. I began to read the book to get more material and fell even more in love with him. I wrote words and words about him, read pages and pages of meta and thoughts, fics and shit posts ... I’ve been following him in his journey, felt his pain, his fear, his anxiety, but also felt his progress, his redemption and his victory. He was a man who lost himself, was reduced to less than nothing by a monster who wouldn’t even let him have his name, and he still rose again. I am an aspiring writer, I consume a lot of media and stories, but this is the one that’s going to stick with me forever. This is the character journey I will forever aspire to write and the person I will always aspire to become ... he let me toward the type of art I want to create and the type of person I want to be. He really did that.

Shigaraki Tomura, Jean Valjean, Clarke Griffin, Tony Stark ... I’ve loved and still love a bunch of beautiful, life-changing characters. 

But Theon Greyjoy will always stand out. Theon Greyjoy will always be a little bit more special. He was by my sides during the most difficult and confusing years of my life, when I was figuring out who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.

Thank you Alfie Allen. Thank you Theon Greyjoy. 

I love you.

Now and always.

#theon greyjoy #game of thrones #got spoilers #got season 8 #i'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense #i barely see the screen through my tears #I will write something better later #he deserves better #this is raw emotions right now #alfie allen

[staringatthetwinsuns]

On writing Luke Skywalker as a character with a disability (meta thoughts)

Inspired by this post and the immensely thoughtful reblogs that go with it, I am going to try to consolidate my thoughts, advice, pet peeves, and feels about writing Luke Skywalker as a character with a disability (and perhaps touch a bit on Anakin/Vader). This is something I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about, and I don’t see it talked about very often, but now that I know I’m not the only one who thinks about it, I thought I'd try to share my perspective at least and start a conversation. Please feel free to add to, question, or outright argue with anything here.

First, a disclaimer: I am not an amputee, a doctor, an occupational therapist, or anyone else with relevant personal experience. I have personal reasons for caring deeply about this, but the most important ones are probably just wanting to see my favorite character written well and wanting to see diverse characters represented in fiction in general, so. Take this as you will.

Also, I will say in advance that I mix person-first language ("person with a disability") and identity-first language ("disabled person") here, because I know there are people who prefer both.... apologies/warnings in advance if you strongly dislike or are triggered by either.

So, first things first, and this is really just general writing advice that could apply to any disability or ANY aspect of a character's appearance… to what extent is is even necessary to address Luke's prosthetic hand in fic? The post I linked to above was really talking about art, and in that case, I suppose you do have to make some sort of choice—to draw Luke with a natural-looking hand like he had in ESB, a black glove as in ROTJ, or a metal hand like in the sequel trilogy. In fic, however, it doesn’t always need to really be addressed at all. Again, this goes for ANY aspect of a character’s appearance, and the golden rule is: Would the POV character (the character whose point of view we are in at the moment) notice or care at this particular moment in the story? You know how it feels weird when you read a bad YA fantasy novel and the narrator says something like "I looked at him with my brilliant purple eyes, which perfectly accented my flawless ivory skin"? That’s unnatural because actual people (even teenagers, shock! horror!) don’t really go around thinking about their own eye color or how flawless their skin is (unless they're incredibly unlikable, and then why would we want to read about them?). They’d be slightly more likely to be thinking about it if their skin WASN'T flawless and that zit they found this morning was bothering them, etc. Cardinal rule: don’t mention anything the narrator or POV character wouldn’t logically be thinking about at the time.

So, whether you even need to mention Luke's hand at all probably depends on a number of factors: Whose POV are we in? When does the fic take place? (Luke's going to be more aware of his new hand between ESB and ROTJ, for example, than decades in the future.) Does anything specifically happen that reminds the POV character of the fact that his hand's a prosthetic?

Which brings me, I suppose, to the next thing: Whether it even counts as a disability at all and the fact that, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T, you still can't really ignore it as if his hand just magically regenerated.

So, first. Is having an amazing cybernetic limb in the Star Wars universe a disability? I say a cautious yes… or at the very least, it's a medical condition on the same level with say, wearing glasses or contacts or having a hip replacement or something in the real world?

I do think it depends on a lot of factors though, and movie canon, at least, doesn’t give us a lot of answers. We don’t really know how much feeling Luke has in his hand… pressure/pain is established, but what about heat or cold? Does it hurt at all (aside from pain sensors)? Is it stronger, weaker, less flexible (more flexible? That's a bit hard to imagine?) etc, than his other hand? I think it PROBABLY counts as a disability and at least counts as something that would affect his daily life in AT THE VERY LEAST small ways. More on that later.

I don’t actually remember what Legends had to say about any of this but again, movie canon doesn’t give us a lot. Here are some of the things I appreciate fanfic writers thinking about, though. (For the record, I am GUILTY AS HELL of overlooking some of this stuff myself in certain fics though, so don't feel bad if you have too… just suggestions for things we probably SHOULD be considering!)

1. How different is the sense of touch or the range of movement in Luke's prosthetic right hand, compared to his left hand? Does it affect the way he does things? Does he favor one hand over the other in certain situations because of this? Does this change as time goes by and any differences become his norm? (I'd personally think there'd be some difference… not necessarily better or worse, but different, and that over time it would definitely start to feel normal.)

2. How different does it look or feel to other people? 1980s-era special effects aside, look at the rest of the technology in the universe. Look at your own hand for goodness' sake. I can’t imagine it’s a perfect replica. Like, I can see the bones and veins in my hand. My fingernails get too long and split and have ragged cuticles. There's no WAY that anyone would even WANT a prosthetic hand that realistic, so. There's got to be some difference. Especially in a romantic or sexual situation, especially fairly soon after ESB, it seems weird not to mention this. I HAVE seen fics that addressed the body temperature issue, either by having the other character be surprised that his hand WAS warm or stating that it wasn't? I guess I personally don't think that heating would be a priority and that it might therefore be cooler than his other hand? Again, definitely not always necessary but, in certain scenes might be important and gets sometimes ignored.

3. There is no f-ing way that Luke’s hand actually ages, so… while I agree that the "Oh all the skin just fell off" idea is stupid, what DOES he do as he ages? Go for the metal model because it doesn’t look the same anyway so it doesn't MATTER if he ages? Get the skin updated to look more like whatever age he is now? Just… have a random 22-year-old-looking hand even though the rest of him is 50?

4. Regardless of whatever you go with for #3, either the entire hand or some of its parts must need replacing over time. Anyone who thinks people use the same prostheses for 30 years doesn’t know anyone who actually uses one (or hasn’t known them for very long, anyway), and even if you play the "advanced technology" card.. want to show me a 30-year-old car, airplane, or space shuttle that has NEVER HAD A PART REPLACED EVER? Can he do the maintenance himself (one-handed? Well, at least he has the Force?) or does a medical droid need to do it, etc?

5. What does the REST of the galaxy think about this? The only canon instances of ableism I can think of are Obi-Wan’s "more machine now than man" in ROTJ, and Dooku's not-so-nice thoughts about Anakin's arm in the ROTS novelization (although Palpatine obviously feels differently in the same scene), but… on the whole is there any stigma attached, or not? If so, is Luke more like "screw it," or is he somewhat self-conscious? What do Leia, Han, Chewie, Wedge... whoever else is in the fic, think? I mean, seriously... imagine a loved one losing a limb. You might not CARE (you shouldn't CARE, in the sense of loving them less or differently, and I don't think any of the above characters would either) but it would still be a thing to get used to?

6. Back to technical stuff, just how much of his arm IS mechanical anyway? Definitely seems to be more than he actually lost to Vader. (This Quora post is fascinating.) Again, usually not relevant since Luke never wears anything but long sleeves after ESB (which is a travesty; look at those ARMS on Dagobah), but… might be relevant if he’s naked in your fic? ;)

7. Related to #6, how obvious is the point where the synthskin meets his natural skin? This could probably be barely noticeable (theatrical makeup experience FTW?) but, might not be? Is this the reason he always wears long sleeves? XD I can't imagine synthskin can tan or grow hair or anything, right???

Okay, so assuming you've put the thought into your headcanon for the above (I… really hadn’t either until recently though, and my fics are all inconsistent so… no judgment either way), let me come back to this "minor thing that affects your life in small ways" thing.

I don’t really get the impression that, with Luke anyway, this particular fandom pays TOO MUCH attention to his prosthetic hand to the point where it feels like a fetish. I have read a COUPLE of fics that felt icky that way, but many more involving Anakin/Vader. If anything, it gets kind of over-ignored as a perfect replacement that is exactly like his biological hand in every way.

That's just not possible. It's not. And even if it WERE scientifically possible (in a very cyberpunk-ish world, no less) would anyone BOTHER to make a cybernetic hand with ugly veins, scraggly cuticles, and age spots?

So. Even if you don’t consider it a disability, it’s a THING. I don’t think my wearing contacts is a disability, but I still can't open my eyes underwater, and if I nap in the afternoon my eyes get dry and gunky, and if I drive somewhere and lose a contact I legally and literally CANNOT drive home (never happened but, anxiety FTW?), and don't forget that one time I lived through a major earthquake and all the supermarkets ran out of food because the roads were closed, you better bet I was worried about what would happen if I ran out of One Day Acuvue before the courier services opened back up (actually go to an eye doctor and get that awful glaucoma test? *shudder*). Similarly, someone who can walk normally on an artificial hip or knee isn’t disabled in the same sense that someone who uses a wheelchair is, but they still set off metal detectors and can’t sit comfortably in certain positions. It may or may not be a major thing, but it is a thing… and it does seem weird to me that a lot of writers seem to treat Luke’s hand as a perfect replacement when it CAN'T BE. For example:

1. It's metal in his body. I’ve translated enough medical documents to know that THAT IS A THING. Metal detectors, MRIs, whatever… there are times when metal vs. organic material is a thing.

2. He can't possibly have the same fingerprints, if he has any fingerprints at all. It MIGHT be possible for a planned amputation but… that hand was lost. Any biometric-type military clearance Luke has now has to be reset/redone. Finger vein identification etc. is probably a no-go period. (NEW THOUGHT: Unless the Alliance had his fingerprints on file... doesn't REALLY match up with the rest of the technology of the world, but... cool possibility?)

3. Maintenance. Especially considering if he’s going to live on a water planet with exposed mechanical parts with no one else to help him do maintenance if needed *side-eyes Rian Johnson*

4. Ongoing pain? This is a headcanon of mine anyway. From what I understand, phantom pain comes from the brain sending out signals to a limb that is no longer there, and getting no response. Since Luke’s hand DOES have feeling, I don’t think he’d have that kind of ongoing issue, BUT. I do think there’d be pain right after he got it (again, talk to anyone who’s had a joint replaced?) and I kind of imagine his hand aching whenever he was reminded of Vader or of losing it. Not a necessary thing to work in, I suppose, but that’s a headcanon I use a lot.

5. Identity as a disabled person? I have seen this addressed in some fics, and I agree that it might not have a place one way or the other in a story that has nothing to do with disability, but… I do sort of see Luke being especially compassionate to other veterans or victims of the war, and to people with disabilities in general, maybe especially because he now knows that’s something he shared with his father? I also like it when fics address the fact that not everyone in the galaxy has access to what I assume was the top-of-the-line model for the Alliance’s biggest hero, at that Luke might feel guilt about that, or at least a desire to help others?

6. Vanity/self-esteem? Luke doesn’t seem like a hugely vain person to me but… would he be at all self-conscious about meeting someone new and getting the awkward questions? Does he tell the truth, and if so how much of it? Or does everyone just already know? (That wouldn’t necessarily be LESS awkward though?) Like everything else, this probably depends on when the fic is set.

7. Is there anything he’s not supposed to do, like get wet (especially without the skin, oh dear sequel trilogy)???

I guess on the whole I see Luke as a not-vain person who probably wouldn’t care THAT much about appearances (except everyone does a little, right?), but I do think his hand would be a constant reminder of Vader, for better (after ROTJ) or worse (between ESB and ROTJ). I don’t think it would be as life-changing as losing a limb in the real world today, but I also don’t think he’d go months (or even a day really) without even thinking about it, with zero changes to anything whatsoever.

I think it’s really important that the technology in Star Wars is shown to be helping and healing people, rather than just blowing things up. I LOVE that people have taken that ideal version of a prosthetic limb and made strides toward actually creating it in real life. But I also think that just ignoring the fact that Luke IS a character with a disability (however rendered-minor it is by said technology) does a huge disservice to the character and to diversity in pop culture in general.

So… long story short, I’d love to see more fics that did address this, even if it’s casually and in passing. While there are certainly situations in which the best choice is "it doesn’t matter in this scene," if anything I see Star Wars fics going too far in the other direction… not really considering this as a part of the character and the world?

#meta #luke skywalker #writing fanfic #meta thoughts #disability in fiction #disability in fanfic #star wars #star wars original trilogy #meta thought #cybernetics #disability #representation #not an expert #just a writer #friendly debate welcome

[miss-m-calling]

Black Box Exchange 2021 letter

Requests: Agon, Giselle (Akram Khan), Jewels - Diamonds, Obsidian Tear, The Seasons’ Canon, Woolf Works

Dear writer,

Thank you so, so much for writing something for one of my dance canons! I am so excited for this exchange, and while coming up with prompts for these works, most of which are abstract, was sometimes a bit of a struggle for me, I hope my ramblings will inspire you. In general, for all these works I would just love something that evokes the mood of the piece: the music, the costumes, the movement, sometimes that certain vague yet clearly present something that specific dancers brought to a role… So if you end up writing something that is more of a mood piece, something dreamy and prose-poem-y, a character study (or the study of a duet or group’s dynamic), something closer to meta about either the making of a piece (incl. “how the theatrical sausage gets made” stories) or its meaning (whatever that may be), than a story with a plot, that’s great! And if you come up with story with a plot, that’s great too!

While I only requested fic, I would be beyond delighted to receive either fic or art treats! :-)

 Requests:

Agon – Balanchine/Stravinsky

Group: Female Soloist/Male Soloist (NYCB 1957 Agon)

I find everything about the background to the making of this ballet and its original cast so interesting. Arthur Mitchell talked in many later interviews about Balanchine deliberately making a point – even though the ballet is technically plotless – about both race and sex (and dance and music and visual style, too) in casting Mitchell and Diana Adams in the central pas de deux. Then there’s Mitchell’s position as a Black principal dancer in the 1950s; Adams being older than he as well as one of Balanchine’s favorite ballerinas but escaping, almost by accident, becoming embroiled with Balanchine to the point where he’d eventually lose interest, or alienating him the way a Farrell or a Kent or a Kirkland went on to do; Balanchine himself, with his manipulative ways and his desire to control his dancers even as he also adjusted his choreographic ideas to them…

I would love something that touches on those RL dynamics as well, or even in the place of, a fic specifically about the ballet, so if you feel like writing something that’s RPF, that’s great, and if it’s something that combines elements of RPF with on-stage happenings, that’s great too! There’s how the choreography combines competition with delicacy in partnering, how it’s both sexy and geometrical, both classy and nervy. The pas de deux was very daring for its time, again, due to both race and some of the choreography, and I’d love something about the two soloists’ big forbidden love playing out or being sublimated on the stage, or playing out also backstage (maybe without a HEA), or the world on the stage and the “real” world bleeding into each other. Maybe Balanchine manipulates them but then the dancers get away from his influence off the stage even if they obey him on it. (I don’t want Balanchine to be at the center of the story – but if you find bringing him in helps the story, that’s great, so long as the focus stays on the dancers.)

Feel free to blend the original cast/making-of story with the more athletic, even acrobatic way Agon is danced today, or focus on the slightly rawer, less hypextended dancing style of the 1950s. Whichever you prefer.

You can find a B&W recording of the pas de deux here, and the recording of the whole ballet is on one of the Balanchine: New York City Ballet in Montreal DVDs. Many other companies have danced Agon since then, there’s a variety of clips on youtube.

 Giselle – Khan/Lamagna

Hilarion (Akram Khan Giselle)

I won’t lie: I prefer this version to any classic Giselle. I was blown away by it on DVD and even more so when I saw it live. I love how it manages to update the story to the modern world in a way which makes sense more than not; I love the rethinking of the characters (especially Giselle and Hilarion); I love the music and the set and especially the group dances; I love the really, genuinely scary wilis…

Hilarion isn’t my favorite in the classic Giselle, but he became my surprise fave in this version. Partly that’s because I love Jeffrey Cirio (whom I saw perform the role live, and he’s in the filmed version’s cast), but partly it’s for how the modern version makes Hilarion this real antihero who veers very close to villainy but then is maybe more pitiful than anything else. I’d love something that focuses on the first act – love those wilis so much, I just don’t want a story about Hilarion’s death or about his being saved/redeemed. Let him be the bastard he is in Act I). So: something that explores his position as this go-between for the “masters” and the migrant workers/refugees – how did he secure that position? What kind of quick thinking (and footwork) does he have to perform to maintain that position? The choreography, the mime, and the symbolism of the hat make clear that the masters find him useful, but they don’t really respect him, and he in turn uses that modicum of power to try to boss around the other migrants, including Giselle. Plus there’s his constant needling of Albrecht, whose secret Hilarion knows and whose girl Hilarion wants (not that this Giselle would likely want to be thought of any man’s girl).

There’s also this Hilarion’s dynamic with this version’s Bathilde, who seems very clear-eyed about Albrecht and Giselle, and there’s that brief moment when Hilarion has the migrants dance for their overlords, when he bows to Bathilde and she acknowledges him. I doubt there’s real respect there – does he want her but also despise her for being so far above him socially? Is she amused and intrigued and maybe a little disgusted by him and her own response to him? Did they ever hook up and this is now a secret one of them can hold over the other, or they keep hooking up and struggling for emotional and social power in that dynamic, or it’s always been this extra snarky, somewhat dark version of, to quote another canon, “Farm boy, do X!” “As you wish.”

This ballet is an original creation for the English National Ballet and has been performed also by the Royal Ballet of Flanders. The DVD is the ENB dancing it, and the same recording should also be available to stream on Marquee TV.

 Jewels – Balanchine/Fauré/Stravinsky/Tchaikovsky

Female Soloist (Diamonds Jewels), Group: Female Soloist/Male Soloist (Diamonds Jewels)

This is just the perfect ballet, one where I love every segment equally, but I always come back to the central pas de deux and especially the ballerina role. I would love a fic that explored some of the undercurrents in her choreography. Her independence and almost teasing of the male soloist, who keeps pursuing her but never quite catches her, even when she lets him support her. At the same time, her regalness (the costume, the Imperial Russia inspiration), aloofness, but again, with a bit of that teasing, playful edge, though she seems to amuse herself much more than she tries to entice the guy, like she won’t accept responsibility for his response to and interest in her. The lady and the unicorn theme present in both the inspiration and in some of her movements – or is the lady herself the unicorn? Is it an updated myth of the unicorn as a symbol of chastity? Finally, her delight in being able to “show off” and set the tone for her whole “court”/ensemble dancing in the finale.

Diamonds has been performed by many companies, both on its own and as part of a full Jewels program. I don’t have a strong preference to any specific cast or version. So far as I know, there’s no full-length recording of NYCB doing it. You can find the pas de deux, adapted for television, danced by Suzanne Farrell and Peter Martins, here, and there are DVDs of Jewels performed by the Mariinsky and the Paris Opera Ballet. (FWIW, of those two, I prefer the Mariinsky’s version.) There’s also a Bolshoi Jewels on youtube, but IMO it’s not that good. There are many short clips of different companies dancing it on youtube.

Canon-specific DNW: anything above T rating.

 Obsidian Tear – McGregor/Salonen

Group: Ensemble (Obsidian Tear), Worldbuilding – Obsidian Tear

For this canon, which is technically plotless but also not really, I’m just really intrigued by the internal dynamics of this all-male group/society. The ballet has clear themes of group v. outsider/individual, as well as how desire can become a tool of power/oppression, violence, but also tenderness in unexpected places. Are these men some post-apocalyptic or fantasy tribe, like gender-flipped Amazons? Is the soloist distinguished by his red pants an actual outsider, in which case what is he doing on their territory and how does he first meet his star-crossed lover? Is his and the other guy’s meeting their first meeting, or are they reconnecting? Is he also a part of the community and has been separated from the others due to… what? Is he supposed to be a sacrifice in some established ritual, Rite of Spring-style, in which case the guy in red has at least an inkling of what’s coming, but then desire causes the preexisting script to play out differently this time? Or is his ultimate fate a result of the group leader’s jealousy? Also what’s the deal with the leader, the one guy who seems to be his BF, and then all the other guys including red-pants’ new lover? What if the leader came up with a different way to punish the wayward lovers than killing one of them? Feel free also to change the ending so the central duo don’t die. I’d also be down for a fic that riffs on the multiple meanings of the title.

You needn’t focus on the entire ensemble, if you’d prefer to write just about two (or three or four) of the guys.

This is a Royal Ballet piece that’s also been performed by the Boston Ballet. There are some short clips as well as a filmed rehearsal floating around on youtube.

Exception to blanket DNW: dubcon is fine for this canon e.g., sex pollen, must have sex as part of a ritual, “made them do it but really gave them their one chance for the sex they couldn’t otherwise have,” someone has to fuck or get fucked by one or more others (maybe while people watch), just so long as no one hates it from start to finish and is totally unaroused.

 The Seasons’ Canon – Pite/Richter

Group: Ensemble (The Seasons' Canon), Worldbuilding – The Seasons' Canon

If I had to pick just one live dance performance to take with me to a desert island, this would be a top contender. I just love everything about it: the styling of the dancers, the movement, the lighting design, the way Max Richter gave Vivaldi a spin… For this canon especially, I’d love something that invokes the whole piece’s mood and is maybe more of a riff/meditation/meta than a story with a clear beginning, plot, and end (though if you come up with a plot, awesome!) Who/what are the dancers? Some post-apocalyptic community? The result of a scientific experiment escaped into the wild? Are they birds? Lizards? Human-animal hybrids? How do the seasons of the title and the music, and suggested by the shifting light, affect their existence as a group? The piece also has a theme about the individual v. the group, in which standing out isn’t necessarily good or beneficial – something exploring that would be great too. Maybe the individual who stands out tries to make sense of their own and their group/community’s existence, and those efforts may or may not do them any favors.

So far as I know, this piece has only been performed by the Paris Opera Ballet. It streamed for a while on ARTE, and the whole recording occasionally pops up on youtube. There are also shorter clips online.

Canon-specific DNW: anything above M rating (I’m cool with sexual themes for this canon, I just don’t want nothing-but-porn for it).

 Woolf Works – McGregor/Richter

Group: Ensemble (Becomings Woolf Works), Worldbuilding – Becomings Woolf Works

All three parts of Woolf Works are so lovely, each in its own way, and part of why I specifically want fic for the middle section is that it’s so abstract and just so darn fun to watch. Yes, it riffs on the one-sentence summary of Virginia Woolf’s Orlando, and I find the gender-blurring costumes, the acrobatic choreography (vintage Wayne McGregor!), and the really inventive and very non-Elizabethan lighting design just so beautiful and so intriguing. Is it some weird version of the Elizabethan court? Is it the far future, are they partying in space? Is it a modern-day masked ball and the post-modernism is deliberate? Is it a weird fashion show (someone got high while preparing their final show at fashion school…), is that what the gender-play with the costumes is all about? Is it a competition for whose clothes and moves can be the most “out there” – who picks the winner, and what’s the prize? Is it all someone’s opium- or molly-induced dream? For this canon too, I’d love something that invokes the whole piece’s mood and is maybe more of a riff/meditation/meta than a story with a clear beginning, plot, and end (though if you come up with a plot, awesome!)

This is a Royal Ballet production and has been performed also at La Scala. The RB version is available on DVD and should be on Marquee TV, and there are clips online.

Canon-specific DNW: anything above M rating (I’m cool with sexual themes for this canon, I just don’t want nothing-but-porn for it).

General likes:

-pre-canon, canon, post-canon, canon-divergent, and missing-scene stories

-character-driven as well as plot-driven stories

-fics which mix humor and angst/serious business (when this fits the canon)

-characters at work and play

-group dynamics, family dynamics (including constructed families), professional partnerships, friendships, alliances, rivalries, intimate couples (new lovers/first times as well as long-term/established couples), UST-ridden couples who are not just UST-ridden but connected in other ways too

-irony, snark, humor, angst – all arising from the characters rather than the plot crowbaring it in

-linear, non-linear, and 5+1 stories

-hopeful endings, happy endings, bittersweet endings, “everything is awful but you’re here and maybe I don’t entirely hate that” endings

-worldbuilding

-spiky characters who keep their jagged edges and spikiness in adversity as well as when their lives are going well, square-peg-in-round-hole characters, tough characters with (maybe not so well) hidden vulnerabilities, characters who are their own worst enemies, characters who manage to get over themselves when the occasion calls for it, characters with conflicting values which may or may not be reconciled/resolved, characters who treat each other with respect and as equals even if they hate/annoy/can’t stand/love to dislike each other, characters who may not be exactly friends and may well irritate one another but manage to rub along to get the job done and maybe even grow to care about one another (much to their surprise/reluctance/discomfort), characters who just cannot get along with each other or find common ground

-workplace stories (this can mean anything from an actual workplace/casefic/procedural setting to anything that revolves around the canon world in which the characters live) in which the characters get to be competent

Shippy and smutty likes:

-(where it fits the characters) banter

-competitiveness or antagonism shading into attraction (this tension need not be resolved)

-”oh god why did it have to be you what did I do to deserve this“

-”come here and say it to my face/do that again/kiss me, you motherfucker”

-bickering yet loving couples

-characters who are serious about their romantic interests

-characters who think they are much better at flirtation than they actually are

-characters forced to work together only to prove much more compatible than they initially assumed

-fics which mix an exploration of characters’ professional and everyday lives with shipping

-characters who are incompatible in some important way (they are ideological enemies, cop and criminal, spies from opposite sides, or there has been betrayal!!!), and while they love and/or want each other, they’re not willing to change sides or abandon/compromise their identity/beliefs for the other’s benefit

-I don’t know how better to phrase this than: smut which fits the characters; how does their canon dynamics spill over into hubba hubba stuff?

-sexual scenarios that subvert expectations a little and surprise the characters themselves

-sexual scenarios that contain an element of competition or antagonism

-“this is a bad idea but we’re going for it hammer and tongs”

-not wanting to admit feelings or show vulnerability except oops it happens anyway, whether the characters acknowledge it or not

-characters getting way more into the sex or being more affected by it than they thought they would

-quick and intense sex, slow and intense sex, rough yet willing sex (when it fits the characters), unexpectedly emotional and/or tender sex

-masturbation while thinking of the other half of the ship (or not wanting to think about them only oops there they are in the fantasy!)

-first time sex

-established relationship, we-know-each-other-so-well sex

-”we’ve both wanted this and now we both know it so here we go diving in headfirst” sex

-for het and/or slash, oral, vaginal, anal incl. pegging, manual (ifyouknowwhatImean) – all is good. You can go as veiled or as explicit as you like, but please avoid excessive medical jargon – I don’t find a lot of mention of “penis” or “clit” sexy.

Ship/smut DNWs:

MPREG, A/B/O, knotting D/s, formalized BDSM, painful sex, hard kinks (holding someone down playfully, hair pulling and such like, the odd spank are a-OK) scat, watersports knife/gun/blood play incest deaging/infantilization, mommy/daddy kink under-16yos in sexual situations humiliation body distortion/horror (feeding/weight kink, come inflation, vore, etc.) unrequested ships/pairings soulmates and soul marks pregnancy and children (can be mentioned if canon, just don’t make the whole fic about them) wedding setting/theme secondary characters shipping the main pair like it’s their job xeno, tentacles, bestiality noncon/dubcon

Other DNWs:

torture and abuse (this and noncon/dubcon can be mentioned, but please don’t dwell on it in loving detail or subject any of my requested characters to it) descriptions of vomit, shit, and piss (”He pissed up against a tree” and the like is fine), toilet humor lots of gore/blood (mention it, yes; lovingly describe it, no), cannibalism, serious illness or injury character bashing genderswap/genderbent characters, characters as kids/young teens issuefic, gender/sexuality/race/ethnicity/religion/ability/identity headcanons death of requested characters hopeless, unrelenting gloom/angst/horror RL holiday setting/theme, RL religions as a major theme (invented fictional holidays and rituals are fine) reference to RL current events 1st and 2nd person POV unrequested crossovers or fusions AUs which have nothing to do with canon fic written in lapslock

#dear author letter #black box exchange 2021