#Jieun's mother | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

authorhjk1 · 2 months

Note

https://www.reddit.com/r/kpopfap/comments/1agagbq/iu/

IU being an expensive hooker

Expensive Night

(IU X Male Reader)

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

You shout as you walk through your living room. Your parent's living room to be exact.

It felt like an awesome idea half an hour ago. And it felt like a dream twenty minutes ago. But now it feels like you are committing a great sin.

Your parents are out for a dinner date. It's their anniversary today. The 25th. You helped your dad with the surprise for a week now. He wanted to take your mother out to the place they first met. Their school, which you are going to currently. He got the key for the roof from the janitor yesterday and will surprise your mom with a romantic picnic, overlooking almost half of the city.

Your father didn't tell you what he planned for afterwards, but he let you know that they are gonna stay out late.

Which now means that you are home alone at 9 pm on a Thursday night. Not necessarily unusual. You finished your homework, starting to prepare for your finals. School today was like any other day.

Except for one thing. One of the guys bragged about having sex with the hottest girl in school. You still highly doubt that he told the truth. But you can't help being envious. You never had sex before, despite being eighteen for a while now.

Your parents always told you, that it's not about the act itself, but about the person you are with. You always agreed to some degree, but you still feel like you are missing out. And there is no guarantee you are ever gonna find that woman. Right?

Which now leads us to your actions from thirty minutes ago. You never considered doing it. You were never really into porn and you definitely never even had the urge to pay to watch something like that. But for some reason, that spam mail you got, lured you in.

Because of the woman's picture. You usually delete these kind of mails as soon as you see them, not wanting to catch a virus. But when you saw her picture, you couldn't resist.

Not only because she looks like a goddess. Like the most beautiful woman you've probably ever seen. But because she is Julie's mother.

Who's Julie? The hottest girl at school. The girl your classmate allegedly slept with.

You were surprised to see her in that email. You were even more surprised, when you found out that this wasn't a normal dating site. It was an ad for an app. An app where you can hire a prostitute. To pay a woman to have sex with you.

Never in your life did you think about doing this. It didn't even cross your mind once. But here you are. Thirty minutes later, staring at your phone.

"See you in forty minutes, baby 😘"

You check the time. She is gonna be here in like 8 minutes.

Suddenly, you become incredibly nervous. Since you asked her to come over, you were worried about your parents finding out. But now, you realize that this is actually happening. What are you supposed to do? You already took a shower. Maybe prepare flowers? But that's stupid, you aren't trying to date her.

You get back to your room, starting to clean it properly. She might already know who you are. The two of you didn't interact with each other for the last two years. You only caught a glimpse of her occasionally at events and stuff. But she is still Julie's mother. And older than you. You don't want her to think you are some inexperienced child.

When the doorbell rings, you feel the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. This is really gonna happen.

You slowly walk over to the front door. Taking a deep breath, you finally open it.

You are stunned by the older woman, who is standing in front of you. She might be your mom's age, but she looks better than any of the girls at school. Probably even better than her own daughter.

"Hello, handsome."

Jieun gives you a heartwarming smile. Her white dress looks incredible on her. You can't help but glance at her shoulders and then her thighs shortly after. The excitement of feeling her skin on yours makes your body heat up. You can feel your erection starting to grow.

"Do you want me to come in? You can keep staring once I'm inside."

Her melodic laugh makes your cheeks flush. You wanted to look like you've done this before, damn it.

"S-Sure."

You close the door behind her, after she walked past you. The scent of lilac lingers in your nose.

"Have a seat please."

You are not really sure how to proceed. Do you offer her something to drink? Do you discuss her pay? You are still surprised she doesn't seem to recognize you. It's probably for the better anyway. You already feel bad for paying your classmate's mother for having sex with you.

You are slightly curious to why Ms. Lee is doing this, but your thoughts get distracted by her sitting down.

Her long, creamy legs almost make you reach out to touch her. The smile playing on her lips makes you want to kiss her.

"Do you want to discuss everything for a minute, before we start?"

Jieun shakes her head, a mischievous smile on her lips.

"Sure. Would you like something to drink?"

"I'm sure I'm going to drink something very delicious later."

Once you realize what she means, you have to sit down, not wanting to expose how hard she is making you.

"You are still pretty young though. Do you have enough money?"

You take the bundle of bills out of your pocket. It's everything you got for your last birthday, plus some of your earlier savings. A lot, but definitely worth it.

You feel a little awkward throughout this transaction, but Jieun seems to really be a professional.

Once you are done, Jieun takes your hand.

"I guess your bedroom is this way?"

She smiles at you, looking back over her shoulder. You nod, still mesmerized by her beauty.

Once you enter your room, Jieun makes you sit down on the edge of the bed. You hear your breath hitch, when she suddenly straddles your lap. Your hands instinctively move to her thighs, you feel her weight on your crotch.

Without another word, Jieun captures your lips with hers. You can't believe this is actually happening. The two of you share a hot kiss as you feel her slowly grinding against you. By the way she let's a moan escape into your mouth, you know that she can feel your hard cock.

"You're such a good kisser."

She only stops for a moment to tell you that, before she gets back to kissing you again.

You wonder if she is actually telling the truth or not. But you can't ask her as she starts to make the kiss more messy. Her fingers run through your hair, occasionally tugging at it lightly. Her tongue pushes past your lips, now dueling with your own for dominance.

You feel like the kiss lasts for hours. But eventually, the two of you need to break away for air.

"Do you want to watch me strip, or do you want to take the dress off yourself?"

"W-Watch."

You almost stumble over that one simple word.

With a grin, Jieun slowly gets off your lap. Instinctively, you cover your crotch with your hand, ashamed at how hard you are.

You expect her to just take it off. Instead, Jieun turns around. She puts her hair over her right shoulder, exposing her neck.

You gulp as she sits back down on your lap.

"Would you mind?"

Your eyes linger on the zipper of her dress. This is really happening. Your fingers shake slightly as you start to open Jieun's dress from behind. Slowly, you reveal more and more of her flawless skin.

You now stare at her completely exposed back. Unable to hold yourself back, you want to have another taste of Jieun's body.

Your lips meet her skin as you kiss her shoulder. You slowly move towards her neck, peppering her with small kisses.

"Good boy."

A sigh escapes Jieun's mouth. You like how she said it. With love and appreciation. As if you are the man she loves.

It turns you on more and you slowly kiss down her back. You take the same path her spine tikes, enjoying the sight of Jieun getting goosebumps at your touch.

Once you are unable to bend down further, Jieun gets off your lap. You can't tear your eyes off her as she twirls around, before giving you a seductive look. Slowly, she starts to let her dress glide down her frame.

"What do you think, honey?"

Her chest is exposed first. Her mounds seem to probably fit perfectly into your hands. Her pink nipples taunt you, trying to make you jump into action. Jieun's toned midriff deserves just as much admiration. You unconsciously bite your lip, when her dress slips past her hips, exposing her white panties. The lace patterns are firmly wrapped around her thighs. You can only catch a glimpse of her lower lips.

With a smile, Jieun hooks a thumb underneath the waistband, slightly pulling it down. Before you can see more of her, she puts it back in place, visibly enjoying teasing you.

"Not so fast. You have to show me what you have first."

You watch as Jieun steps between your legs, before she kneels down. This still feels like a dream to you. But here you are, you classmate's mother unbuckling your belt.

"I like the sight of that."

Jieun grins up at you after pulling down your pants. You have to stop yourself from bucking your hips towards her as she gives your cock, which is still restrained by your underwear, a kiss.

Another one follows quickly after.

"Thank you for this big gift."

Jieun chuckles as she lifts her head to kiss your lips. You can't tell if she is genuine or not. But her fingertips dancing along your length, make you forget what she just said.

With an alluring sparkle in her eyes, Jieun looks up at you as she pulls down your underwear.

"Fuck. You are huge."

You watch her bite her lip as she stares at your now exposed member. Of course you measured it before. This time you know that she isn't exaggerating. At least not a lot.

"Let me have a taste."

Jieun leans down to kiss your cock. She licks her lips afterwards, before she runs her tongue along the length of your shaft.

"Relax, baby."

Jieun giggles, covering your right hand with her left. Only now do you realize that you've taken a hold of your sheets. Your knuckles starting to turn white.

"Is this your first time?"

You nod slowly, embarrassed that it's so obvious.

"Don't be shy. It's an honor, you know."

Jieun slowly strokes your cock up and down as she talks.

"Why don't you lie down and let me take care of you?"

"S-Sure."

You position yourself in the middle of your bed with your back slightly sinking into your mattress. Jieun is lying on her stomach, between your spread legs.

"I can't believe this is your first time. With a cock like this..."

She kisses your base and slowly starts to move towards your tip, peppering your cock with kisses. Once her lips wrap around your tip, she sinks her head down. You let out an embarrassed moan as Jieun uses her tongue to play with the head of your cock.

The older woman knows exactly what she is doing. You seem to sink further into the mattress as Jieun keeps worshipping your cock. Her lips glide along your shaft. Her tongue swirls around your tip, whenever she moves upwards.

"Such a nice cock."

She murmurs to herself occasionally between sucks and licks.

"It tastes so good."

Eventually, your cock is covered with her saliva.

"Do you want me to deep throat you? Check if it fits or not?"

You nod in excitement while Jieun is still talking.

"If it doesn't, I'm not sure if you would fit in my pussy. If you destroy me, you have to pay extra."

She gives you a wink, before she laughs.

You give Jieun an awkward smile, hoping that really is a joke.

When she starts to take you into her mouth again, you hold your breath. Her lips glide along your shaft. She goes further down than before. You feel Jieun starting to slow down a little. Eventually, you hit something inside of her.

It makes Jieun gag. She slowly backs up, until her mouth is empty again. She gives you another look, before she dives in once more. Soon, you have her choking again. This time, she went down even further. Instinctively you put a hand on her head, slightly bucking your hips upwards.

You can't believe how good this feels. Your cock feels warm and safe in Jieun's mouth. Your tip probably already down her throat as she tries to open her jaw even wider.

You catch yourself pressing Jieun's head into your crotch. Eventually, she taps on your thighs, struggling for air. Regretfully letting go of her, you watch your in spit covered cock fall out of her mouth.

"Wow. You are really something."

Before you can reply, Jieun is deepthroating you once more. Apart from the occasional choking, everything is quiet. You look down, watching how small rivers of her saliva run down to the base of your cock.

Your breathing becomes heavier as you try to calm yourself. This isn't the right time. You need to hold out longer. Your fingers bury themselves in your sheets once more.

"I-I want to fuck you now."

You are embarrassed, when these words spill out of your mouth. But you need a moment to calm down. You don't want this to end too soon.

A devilish smirk plays around Jieun's lips as she moves them along the length of your shaft. Until she finally releases your cock out of her mouth, you are afraid that you would cum too soon.

"I see you are getting more comfortable?"

"Well-"

Jieun's warm smile makes you stutter. You can't believe you are seeing the same smile with which she congratulated you on your 12th birthday. It just feels unreal.

"How would you like to take me?"

You haven't thought about that yet. Now that you got a much needed break, you try to come up with something.

Jieun must've seen you struggling to find something. She leans over your body to give you a deep kiss, before she moves her legs on both sides of your hips.

"Would you like me to ride you?"

You hesitantly nod. Now that you are about to lose your virginity, you don't care about how. You just want this to happen.

Your heart races when Jieun slowly pulls down her lace panties. This is the first time you actually see a woman naked in real life. Her shaven pussy greets you, once the white fabric reaches her knees. It looks too good to be true. You unconsciously lick your lips, imagining your head between her thighs. You bet she would taste delicious.

"What do you think?"

Jieun pulls back her folds a little, showing off more of her pink insides.

"I-It looks amazing."

"I hear that a lot."

Her laugh makes you smile.

Jieun puts her left hand on your chest, her smile suddenly turning into something different. She almost looks needy now.

"It's time to put your cock where it belongs."

Her right hand holds your cock once more, slowly stroking it a couple of times, before she guides it towards her warm core. This is it.

You watch with wide eyes. Your tip brushes her wet folds. Jieun moves it along her slit a couple of times, before she starts to part her lips with your cock.

Her wetness and warmth welcome you as your tip finally slips inside. Jieun slowly lowers herself onto you. Her pussy seems to swallow your cock, almost like her mouth did earlier. Its walls hug you, slightly squeezing your dick.

"Good boy."

Jieun mumbles, her eyes closed, as she sinks herself onto you.

You feel her pussy gliding along your shaft, until Jieun finally stops. You are almost fully inside of her by now. But you can see that she is struggling to take all of you inside.

Your hands automatically move to her waist, not sure what else to hold onto.

"You really are big."

Jieun sighs, before she starts to circle her hips. A moan almost escapes your mouth. This feels too good to be true. Why don't people have sex all the time? How are they able to do anything else?

You start to lose all train of thought, when Jieun stops the circling of her hips. She now lifts herself off you, both of her hands pressing against your chest. Her lips have a tight grip on you as they move along your length.

"Damn, you are making me so wet."

Jieun moans when she reaches your tip.

"I just want to impale myself on your cock until I cum."

Her confession makes you groan. You never thought you would hear someone say that to you. Ever.

Staying true to her words, Jieun suddenly slams herself down onto your lap. Bot of your eyes roll back at the pleasure. You feel your thighs slightly sticking together, due to Jieun's juices.

Before you can completely recover from this new feeling, Jieun has already moved upwards again and is now impaling herself onto your cock once more.

She hits you hard and deep everytime. The couple of seconds she needs to recover, whenever you bottom out inside of her, feel like ages.

"Jieun."

You moan her name, when she lets her pussy glide along your shaft once more.

Eventually, the two of you get used to each other. Jieun trades in the hard and deep thrusts for pace. She starts to really ride you now. The sound of her hips meeting yours echo through your room.

"Such a nice cock."

She breathlessly moans, her eyes shut as she enjoys the feeling of being completely filled.

Jieun keeps riding you, making you struggle to keep quiet. You try to distract yourself from the inevitable. Your hands start to explore Jieun's body. They first roam her midriff, enjoying her toned stomach, before they move further upwards.

You feel Jieun slowing down a little to make it easier for you to cup her tits. She tilts her head back when you grope her breasts.

"Yes, baby. Good boy."

You feel her pussy hugging you a little tighter now. You realize that you can't hold off your orgasm for much longer. It has been coming for a while now. Your exploring of her body made you forget about it for a moment. But the squeezing of her walls bring you back to reality.

Your hands keep cupping her tits as Jieun picks up the pace again. Soon, you are not the only one, who is hanging on by a threat.

The older woman feels your cock parting her walls, everytime she slams herself down on you. It almost seems like you hit deeper spots with every hit. Her nails slowly start to scratch the skin on your chest. That little bit of pain makes you squeeze Jieun's tits a little harder.

This finally drives the older woman over the edge. You didn't expect her to cum because of you. But here you are. Her pussy is pulsating around your cock, trying to to make you cum as well. Her lewd moan sounds like the voice of an angel as she voices her pleasure.

Jieun's tight grip on your cock brings you closer to your orgasm as well. You are able to hold out Jieun's, until she slowly starts to ride you again.

"Oh fuck. I needed that."

She sighs, enjoying your cock deep inside her pussy.

"I've been really stressed lately."

Jieun leans down to give you another kiss. You realize you are starting to get addicted to her lips. It's the same way with her pussy. If you stay inside of her for much longer, you doubt you will be able to live without it from now on.

"Tell me when you're there."

Jieun seems to be able to tell that you are close. It's embarrassing that you are cuming so soon. You wished you could try out more positions with her. Maybe even get a taste of her pussy. It looked more delicious than anything you've ever seen.

Jieun keeps riding you. Her snatch keeps your cock warm and wet. Her juices make it easy for her lips to glide along your shaft.

Your arms are slowly getting tired and you regretfully let go of her tits. Instead, your hands retake their place on Jieun's hip.

"Oh baby. Your cock feels so good. I really need your cum now."

Jieun's moaned words make you twitch inside of her. You are able to hold on a little longer. One more bounce. Two. Three.

You start counting, trying to distract yourself.

Ten. Twelve. Thirteen.

"Jieun."

Her name slips out of your mouth, accompanied by a deep groan. You never expected to say her name like this.

"Cum for me, baby. Put it in me."

You are unable to think straight. This is the hardest orgasm you've ever had. Everything starts to become blurry as you approach the end of the cliff.

"Creampie me. Give me that load."

Jieun's moans finally push you over. You feel her stop moving as you start to shoot rope after rope inside of her. You pump her pussy full with your cum.

You see stars as Jieun's pussy contracts around you, trying to squeeze every last drop out of your cock.

"Oh fuck yes. That's a good boy."

You eventually calm down, unable to comprehend what happened in the last thirty minutes. Did you actually do it? You had your first time with your classmate's mother? And came inside of her?

You are still unable to move, blankly staring up at the ceiling.

Jieun puts more weight onto your chest, leaning over you.

"You did great, baby."

She gives you another kiss.

"Where is the shower?"

"S-Second door on the right."

Jieun chuckles before kissing your cheek. She gets off of you and then off the bed. You realize she slipped her panties back on in the process. A dark spot is starting to ruin the white lace.

Taking this opportunity, you move your head, watching Jieun reach the door. Your eyes on her ass cheeks, taking in a sight, which you will probably never see again.

To your surprise, she suddenly turns around. Jieun giggles when she catches you staring.

"Aren't you coming?"

"W-What?"

"I thought you would enjoy taking me against a hard surface."

She winks at you, before leaving the room.

If you could, you would immediately jump off the bed. But your body is telling you take a moment.

Your eyes wander through your room, until they get caught on the yearbook, which is standing in your bookshelf. If Jieun would've seen it, would she have done the same? Or would she have called this off?

You genuinely can't tell.

When you hear a moan from the bathroom, you immediately jump out of your bed. The tiredness is all gone now. You realize that every second with her is priceless.

#ask #kpop #anon #kpop smut #kpop girls #kpop gg #male reader #lee jieun #iu soloist #iu smut

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mrkis · 11 months

Text

the best man. (m.l)

PAIRING: mark x reader GENRE: smut, fluff WORD COUNT: 6.5k

SYNOPSIS: meeting the one for you at your best friend's wedding wasn't exactly how you imagined this day turning out, neither was fucking him in the bathroom of the venue.

CONTENT WARNINGS: plot with smut, explicit content, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, bathroom sex, riding, big cock mark, marks a lil goofy

You can remember the first day you met Jieun: her soft hair curled in waves down her back, the rosy red tint of her cheeks from the cold weather, how her smile and eyes gleamed when she introduced her twelve-year-old self to you at the playground, dressed in a sage green sweatshirt and some jeans. It was a simple outfit choice, but you couldn’t deny how gorgeous she looked in it.

You can remember the first day you experienced Jieun suffer through heartbreak: her hair thrown up messily with strands falling in front of her face, eyes puffy and wet, lips curled into a frown with a sage green blanket wrapped around her form, shoving her nose in endless of tissues that were scattered in her room, leaving a trail from the door to her bed. It’s crazy, you think, she still looks gorgeous.

You can remember the first day Jieun met ‘the one’: her hair tied back into a sleek ponytail, glittery makeup decorating her eyes and glossy lips, sage green jewellery dangling from her ears and around her neck. Her cheeks were flushed a soft pink as she met the eyes of the barista that was taking your coffee orders, mouth shifting into a shy grin as she kept her gaze locked on his, completely mesmerised by his appearance. Her voice was soft, her boldness sizzled into nerves and shyness, but yet again, she still looks gorgeous.

Today will be another day that you will remember in the future𑁋her wedding day. You’re starstruck by her absolute beauty: her hair is curled in waves down her back just like the day you first met her with some strands framing her face, her makeup is light and gentle, eyes shining with excitement in the reflection of the mirror as she patiently waits for the makeup artist to apply the finishing touches, how her body is adorned in the most beautiful sage green wedding dress you have ever seen.

“Are you going to cry?” Jieun's voice teases you as she meets your eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “Because if you start crying, I’ll start crying”

The makeup artist tuts, pointing her brush warningly at you. “No crying”

“I’m not going to cry” You laugh as you gently pat under your eyes, hoping to not feel any moisture. “You just look gorgeous, that’s all”

“Thank you” Jieun smiles softly, giving another quick thanks to the makeup artist who had finished touching up her face. Jieun leans towards the mirror to take a good look at herself, pleased with the results. “My mother wasn’t too happy about me switching out a white wedding for more of a coloured theme”

“It’s your wedding. You do whatever you want” You tell her, taking a quick peek down at your silk cream bridesmaid dress, hands rubbing over the material. “Sage green has always been your colour anyways. I would’ve been surprised if it wasn’t included in your wedding”

Jieun beams at that, “Right? But on top of that, my dad wasn’t happy that we weren't going for a traditional wedding in a church… He’s not exactly thrilled to be invited to his only child greenhouse wedding”

“This wedding is for you and for Johnny, not your parents” You say with a straight face, clearly not impressed with her parents thoughts towards the special day. “If anyone needs to be happy and satisfied, it’s you two”

“Well, I would be even more happy and satisfied if you brought a date𑁋”

“Are you seriously bringing this up again?!”

“It’s my wedding!” Jieun whines, turning around in her chair to face you with a pout. “How could you not bring a date? What happened to the guy you were speaking to on Tinder? I thought things were going well with him”

You scoff, “He was obsessed with talking about himself, was freaking out over the fact that his untrusting roommate had to cat-sit his cats and he refused to eat dessert because it had fruit in it… You know, for a guy called Ten, I rate him a fucking zero𑁋maybe a three because he had nice teeth”

Jieun purses her lips together in deep thought, fingers mindlessly playing with the end of her curls and you watch as the cogs turn inside her head, immediately shaking your head when you see the wide smile creep upon her face as she meets your eyes.

You know that look all too well. She’s got an idea brewing in her head, or maybe she’s already got something planned for you and you’re ready to disagree with everything that’s about to spill out of her mouth until the door to the room you’re in slides open, revealing Jieun's mother who gasps at the sight of her daughter.

You take this as your cue to leave, wanting the two to be alone to talk and experience this moment together. You mumble to Jieun that you’re going outside for some fresh air before giving a quick greeting to her mother, rubbing her arm gently as you slip past, allowing the door to slide shut behind you.

The exhale you breathe out is deep, heels clicking against the marble flooring of the house as you make your way outside and into the sun, using your hand to cover the bright beams as you stare over at the greenhouse conservatory where some of the guests linger outside while others are already seated.

You smile when you see a few people you recognise, waving at a few old classmates that Jieun had invited and you go to walk towards them to give them all a proper welcome until your right foot twists beneath you, your heel getting caught on the concrete below you.

A panicked ‘Oh my god!’ yelps from your right as a hand reaches out to curl around your upper arm, tugging you upwards and steadying you before your clumsiness could cause some real damage. You hiss through your teeth at the slight twinge of pain in your ankle, enough to cause a little discomfort but you’re grateful to see nothing was broken when you glanced down, cursing wildly under your breath for wearing heels that you weren’t used to walking around in.

You turn your head to thank your saviour, expecting to see them staring at you while laughing at your mistake but you’re surprised when you see a boy with messy light blue hair staring at you with a startled expression, deep brown doe-eyes wide and round with his mouth agape.

You’re immediately taken back by his attractive appearance and with him being such an unfamiliar face, you’re intrigued𑁋curious to know who this boy is and who he might be in relation to at the wedding. But before you can even open your mouth to even speak a single word, he’s the one that breaks the silence between you both.

“You almost died”

Your brow raises in amusement. “That’s a little dramatic”

“No, I’m serious. That was a Final Destination moment waiting to happen. Ankle snapped in half, face smashed to the ground, blood everywhere… I had the visions, dude”

“You have an interesting way with words”

The corner of his lips quirk upwards into a smile. “And you have an interesting way of walking”

“Touché” You purse your lips together, looking down at the heels with a soft hum. “I blame the shoes. They’re difficult to walk in”

“I’d offer you to swap but, uh, I don’t think they’d go with the outfit”

“I don’t know…” You tease as your eyes take him in, using this opportunity to really check him out. His white dress shirt is tucked neatly in the waistband of his black trousers, accentuating his pretty little waist. His black blazer is left unbuttoned and the matching coloured tie lays clean and ironed against his chest. You grin, “I think you’d look pretty good in a pair of heels”

He splutters out a genuine laugh, a slight pinkish hue casting over his cheeks as he rubs the back of his neck before his hand shoots out in front of you, introducing himself as Mark. You smile as you take his hand in your own and you introduce yourself, and the sound of Mark repeating your name softly is enough to have you weak in the knees.

Mark tells you that he’s close with Johnny and that he’s his best man to which you then fill him in on how you know Jieun and that you’re her bridesmaid.

He’s smiling so gently at you as you explain your long friendship with Jieun, nodding as he listens to you intently, even adding his own little comments to when he first met Jieun and how well she and Johnny are matched and you immediately agree.

The conversations between you both flow so easily that you’re almost shocked, unable to understand how you can feel so comfortable and click so well with somebody you just met𑁋you more or less wish you had met someone like him on Tinder instead.

“The ceremony is about to start,” Mark announces as he takes a quick glance at his phone that he pulls from his pocket, checking over the time before pocketing it back. He wets his lips as it curls into a grin, offering his arm out to you. “Can I walk you inside? Just in case you, you know, trip over your heels again”

You surprisingly feel a little shy at his offer and you can’t help but grin back as you nod, sliding your arm through his, pressing your hand to his bicep. “Yeah… Just in case”

The ceremony was the most beautiful moment you have ever witnessed.

Having Jieun walk down the white carpet of the greenhouse arm in arm with her father and a beaming smile spread across her lips was enough to set off the first wave of waterworks, subtly patting beneath your eyes as you take in how gorgeous she looked.

The second wave of waterworks came when you saw how happy and in love Jieun looked when she and Johnny whispered their vows, holding each other close as they shared a loving kiss and the guests cheered with boisterous claps and hollers.

The third, and thankfully final, wave of waterworks happened when you heard Mark say his best-man speech, claiming how in the many years he has known Johnny, he has never seen him this happy and that a permanent smile was on his face all thanks to Jieun and how eternally grateful Mark would be to her for giving his best friend his happiness.

You weren’t going to cry again, although the food you were all served at dinner tasted like pure bliss and you were so close to getting on your knees and praising the chefs for their hard work and tasteful dishes, but you kept your emotions steady and thanked them as they came across your tables to clear your plates.

“You know, I always knew Jieun would be the first one out of our class to get married” Soojin states as she stares over at Jieun mingling with Johnny’s parents, embracing them tightly with a grin. Soojin smacks her painted red lips together and takes a sip of her wine before nursing the glass in her hand, “She’s always had this aura about her. Meets the perfect guy young, loved up and married in her twenties, ends up living in a fancy home surrounded by a white picket fence with her husband and kids𑁋maybe a dog too. God, I would love to have my life planned out like that”

“Nothing is stopping you” You point out, taking a gulp of your own drink. “How are things going with you and Chan?”

“Do you see a ring on my hand?”

“Not yet” A chuckle leaves your lips, pushing Soojin’s hand out of your face as she teasingly waves it in front of you and she laughs, retracting back to tuck her hair behind her ears. “What about you? Have you been seeing anyone recently?”

“No” You can’t help but sound a little bitter as you give your answer, not particularly in the mood to remember your failed tinder dates and endless hookups that have left you unsatisfied and annoyed. “I’m going to live a miserable single life. Maybe I’ll get a dog to make me feel less lonely”

“The last time we spoke you were seeing Jieun's cousin right? Was it Jaehyun?” His name makes you grimace and Soojin snorts, covering her mouth to conceal the rest of her amusement. “That bad?”

“To be fair, he did warn me that us fucking in his apartment would be risky because of his roommate being there”

“What? Like he never leaves the apartment?”

“No. They share a room. The end of their beds are literally pressed together, toe to toe!” You wail with a frown and Soojin’s unable to control her laughter, almost spitting her wine across the tables as she splutters but you take no notice, shivering at the memory of the beds. “They turned the perfectly capable extra bedroom into a makeshift gym. It was scarring”

“Your dates can’t be all that bad” You almost broke into the story of your recent date with Ten until a soft call of your name grabs your attention, shifting in your chair to see who had called for you and you’re surprised when you see Mark standing behind you with a boyish yet kind grin.

It takes you an embarrassing amount of time to realise that he had asked if the chair beside you is free for him to take and you dumbly nod, giving him your best smile as you expect him to lift the chair and take it to wherever he needs to go, but your brows raise in surprise when he slides the chair out from beneath the table to sit beside you.

“Johnny and Jieun are talking with his family” He explains to you despite you already knowing and he folds his hands in his lap. “Feeling like a third wheel over there so I hope you don’t mind me joining you?”

“Not at all” You smile. “Your speech was amazing by the way”

“She cried” Soojin joins in almost immediately with a teasing tone and you roll your eyes, nudging her with your shoulder as Mark laughs. “She’s right though, your speech was incredible”

“Thank you” Mark smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as his cheeks tint a slight pink and you mentally awe at the sight, wanting to reach out and pinch his flustered cheeks but you keep your hands to yourself respectfully, keeping them busy with holding the wine glass in your hand.

It doesn’t take long for Soojin’s boyfriend, Chan, to join the table and he instantly makes Mark feel even more welcomed and comfortable, indulging with him in all sorts of conversations that has him laughing loudly and unable to keep his body up straight as his shoulder continuously brushes against your own, it makes you feel a little bit flustered when you feel his body warmth radiating to yours.

You are so touch starved.

Chan excuses himself to go buy the entire table a drink and Mark tags along, quickly asking you what’s your preferred drink but Chan’s already clamping his hand down on Mark’s shoulder and boasting about how he’s already got the drinks memorised, tugging him towards the bar.

“He’s cute” Soojin states, watching after the pair with a smirk before she turns her gaze to you. “He’s cute”

“I’m aware” You nod, chuckling lightly. “I met him earlier, actually. Saved me from tripping over these heels like an idiot”

“Wow… you literally fell for him”

“Funny” You snort, downing the rest of your wine and placing the empty glass on the table before swallowing, patting the corner of your lips with a napkin. You watch him at the bar laughing along with whatever Chan’s talking about and you can’t help but smile at the sight. “Fuck, he is really cute”

“Ask for his number” Soojin smiles. “Or bring him home with you later, keep your bed warm”

“This is a wedding, I’m classy today” You tease.

“I’m far from classy” Soojin scoffs, sending a sultry look over to Chan who meets her eyes from across the room and sends her a wink. “I almost fucked Chan in the bush outside when I saw him dressed in the suit”

You don’t have time to fully comprehend and laugh at her words as the pair are already returning to the table with a tray of drinks, each handing them out to their respective person and you wait for your turn, grinning up at Mark as he takes his seat back beside you with two red wines in hand.

He passes one with a gentle smile, “You cool with red wine?”

You snort, taking the glass between your fingers, “I’m cool”

Mark grins at that, cheeks tinting a slight pink. “Cool”

The drinks start to flow through your system and it doesn’t take long for you to become tipsy and chatty, conversing with the table about different topics and even about the wedding as Jieun and Johnny finally join. Mark seems to be on the same boat as you𑁋tipsy and chatty with a hint of touchiness.

It doesn’t bother you when you feel him unintentionally lean against you to listen to what Jieun was saying, hanging onto her every word and laughing when Johnny pipes in with a joke or flirty commentary that has Jieun nudging him while blushing.

You notice during this interaction how much Mark uses his hands when he speaks, explaining various things with his hands flying around or clapping them when someone says something too funny.

But it's when Mark sighs dramatically at Johnny’s teasing jokes towards him and drops his hands down that catches your full attention, feeling slightly taken back when you feel the heat of Mark’s hand splayed across your thigh, fingers mindlessly tapping against your skin.

He hasn’t noticed𑁋maybe he’s too tipsy to notice what he’s just done and you’re unsure of whether to subtly let him know or leave it be seeming as you wasn’t exactly opposed to him touching you. It feels nice, comforting… and a little hot.

You bite back any type of response or comment, hiding your grin behind the rim of your wine glass as you take a sip, ignoring Soojin’s lingering eyes on your lap and how she teasingly nudges your side.

Jieun catches on quickly too, wiggling her eyebrows in your direction before she leans into Johnny’s ear to whisper. You wanted to roll your eyes when Johnny looked back at you.

The attention is finally brought off of the two of you and back onto the conversation topic which makes you let out a sigh, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Mark and he leans in close, his breath fanning across your ear as he whispers.

“You good?” He asks you with concern. “Did you have too much to drink?”

“I’m okay” You tell him, turning to face him with a smile and he immediately smiles back. He goes to say something else but you accidentally shift in your chair, causing his hand to move slightly and Mark’s head shoots down to see his hand on your thigh, choking on a cough.

“Oh shit” His eyes are comically wide as he slowly moves away. “Oh, man, I’m so sorry, I didn’t𑁋”

“It’s okay” You tell him once again and you make a brave move to place your hand on top of his, causing his hand to drop back down onto your thigh and you see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows, cheeks dusting a light shade of red as he looks back up at you. You decide to remind him again, “It’s okay”

“You sure?” Mark asks and despite wanting to make sure you were fully okay with what you were doing, he turns his hand around beneath yours, palm against palm, fingers twitching against your own as he was desperate to lace them together, but it was you who took that initiative.

You interlace your fingers together and hold his hand tightly in your grasp, causing him to shy away from eye contact as he looks down at the table, unable to hide the goofy grin that spreads across his lips as his own grip tightens around your own hand, his thumb grazing across your knuckles comfortingly.

“I love this song!” Jieun gasps loudly as a familiar song blasts from the speakers, her guests already standing up to dance. She pulls Johnny up with her and looks over at you, “Do you want to dance with us?”

You’d like to, but you also don’t want to let go of Mark’s hand just yet. You feel a little selfish. “You go dance together. I’m going to finish up my wine”

“Okay” Jieun smirks, sending a sly wink your way as she pulls Johnny to the dance floor.

“Mark, Do you want to come dance with us?” Chan asks this time as he stands up from his seat with Soojin on his arm, grinning down at Mark who licks his lips nervously.

“Uh, you go first. I’ll join you guys later” Mark tells him and you don’t miss the way his hand subtly squeezes yours.

“Suit yourself” Chan shrugs as he, Soojin and the majority of the table head to go dance together. You smile as you watch the couples on the dance floor, how happy and in love everyone looks, especially Jieun and Johnny who are holding each other close, whispering sweet little things into each other's ears while sharing a few kisses.

You’re too focussed on the couples and the music to realise Mark is speaking to you, voice hushed due to the volume of the music. You struggle even more to hear him so you lean in close for him to whisper in your ear, shivers running down your neck as you feel his breath fan across your skin as you listen to him shyly if he can have your number.

You’re not sure why you’re stunned, but you are for a brief moment until you immediately nod your head, watching as he fumbles to grab his phone out of his pocket with his free hand, not wanting to let go of yours that he’s still holding in the other.

He hands you his phone, unlocked and ready to have your number and you can’t help but smile, typing in your number with your name and jokingly adding a heart to which he chuckles upon first seeing. You’re surprised when he shuts off his phone and puts it back into his pocket, not bothering to get rid of the heart or change it to a completely different emoji.

It’s silent between you both for a while as you enjoy each other's company, listening to the music, watching others dance and mingle. Usually you’d be the first on the dance floor amongst your friends, letting the music take over your body and feel the base through the speakers but you’re surprisingly content right now sitting beside a cute boy with your hand locked in his.

“So, why didn’t you want to dance?” You dare to ask Mark, glancing over at him as you take a sip of wine and he looks a little flustered.

“Oh, I, uh… I’m fine right here” He replies, chuckling awkwardly. “Why didn’t you want to dance?”

You smirk, “Because I didn’t want to let go of your hand”

“Jesus” Mark laughs, face reddening up as he shakes his head, tongue coming out to swipe across his bottom lip as he struggles to hide a smile. “You make me feel so nervous, man…”

You quirk a brow, “A good nervous or a bad nervous?”

Mark exhales deeply, meeting your eyes. “A really good nervous”

“Interesting” You state, feeling a little more confident as you lean in close to him, fully pressing your side against his and he laughs, allowing you to do as you please as he squeezes your hand again, the close proximity making him feel a little nervous but hot under the collar.

But he forgets he’s nursing his glass of wine in his free hand as he’s looking at you fully now, biting down on his bottom lip as your face is merely inches from his own and he accidentally loosen his grip on the stem of the glass as your nose brushes his, causing the contents inside to spill over his lap.

He makes a noise of shock and reels back in surprise, letting go of your hand to grab the now half empty glass of wine and stare at the mess he’s created.

He’s obviously embarrassed, sitting in shock and not muttering a single word as he assesses the damage and you’re already gasping loudly, hand flying to your mouth in shock.

You blurt out multiple apologies, regretting having made a move and occupying his attention which resulted in causing this mess and you quickly reach for a napkin off of the table. You’re patting his lap, hoping to dry his expensive looking pants as you still whisper countless apologies. His pants are black, so no stain will be shown yet you’re still feeling bad and entirely at fault.

Mark’s silent as he stares at you with wide doe eyes as you pat the napkin around his crotch, body frozen and mouth unbelievably dry as he feels you press against his cock. He’s unable to move, unable to tell you to stop what you’re doing until you begin to wipe and that’s when he reacts, snatching your wrist in his grasp as a choked groan leaves his lips.

“I’m fine” He strains and you pull back almost immediately once you realise how you were touching him. You wanted to apologise again, but you remain quiet due to your own embarrassment and look away from him, unable to meet his eyes although the thought of making him hard just from some mere touching leaves an ache between your legs and you press your thighs together, clearing your throat.

“Do you want another drink or something?” You ask him, quickly glancing at his half empty glass before looking at the bar. “I can get you another”

“No, no it’s okay” Mark coughs, shaking his head. He clears his own throat and shifts in his seat uncomfortably, pulling at his blazer to hide the obvious bulge in his trousers. “I’m… sorry, by the way”

“You don’t need to apologise” You quickly tell him. “It’s my fault for distracting you and causing you to spill your𑁋”

“I wasn’t talking about that” He cuts you off and your face immediately heats up, fully aware of what he’s meaning and you shake your head, wanting to tell him that it’s okay but he’s already continuing. “I don’t… It just happens, you know, and when you touched m𑁋”

“It’s flattering, really” You admit, letting out a slight chuckle. “It’s fine, I promise. I get that it’s totally normal though so don’t worry. It's cute”

It’s silent for a moment until he speaks with a lighthearted tone, “Did you just call me getting hard cute?”

You grimace, “Pretend you didn’t hear that, I don’t know what I’m talking about”

Before you can even begin rambling and make up your excuses, you’re already being cut off as you feel Mark’s hand slide back into your own, fingers interlacing and you bite back a shocked gasp when you feel him pull your intertwined hands to his lap, pressing the back of your hand to the bulge in his pants so casually that it makes your head spin.

You need him. You want him. The thoughts that run through your mind and needy ache between your legs has you desperate to be touched, to be fucked, all by him.

“I need to go to the bathroom” You announce, catching on to the disappointed sound Mark makes as he loosens his grip on your hand but you tighten it almost instantly. “Do you want to come with me?”

Mark’s confused now, “To… to the bathroom?”

“Yes”

“Do you…” He’s unsure of how to word his next words. “Do you need help peeing or something?”

“No, I don’t need to pee” You can’t help but laugh and Mark flushes red. You look at him fully this time, eyes dark and tone sultry. “I just really want to go to the bathroom”

“Oh” Mark blinks, brows pulling together as he’s even more confused. But then it all seems to dawn on him as his eyebrows raise up, hidden by the blue locks of hair that's across his forehead, his eyes widened in shock. “Oh”

“So, do you want to come to the bathroom with me?”

Mark nods quickly as his grip tightens on your hand, “Yeah. Absolutely, yeah”

You’re tugging Mark up from his seat the second he gives you the confirmation you’ve needed, weaving through the people on the dance floor and heading towards the bathroom area.

Mark’s hot on your heels, chest pressed against your back with his hand still locked in yours, almost tripping over his own shoes due to the speed you’re walking and him trying to keep up with you, not wanting to stray too far from you.

You miss the way Johnny and Jieun are watching you both with smirks on their faces, giving each other celebratory fist bumps before Johnny’s arm slithers around her waist to bring her in for a kiss.

You finally reach the bathroom area and Mark lets out a yelp as you walk inside and yank him into a cubicle, slamming and locking the door behind you both as he stumbles and falls back, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet.

“Dang…” Mark mutters as he takes in his surroundings, in awe at the white marble flooring and white walls with painted green vines. “Yo, this is a pretty expensive bathroo𑁋what are you doing?!”

Your fingers are pulling at the buttons on his pants as you simply state, “I’m going to suck you off”

“But… your dress,” Mark frowns as he watches you drop to your knees, your dress wrinkling and losing its pristine condition.

“You’re worried about my dress? That’s cute” You can’t help but chuckle and once you finally free his cock out of its confinements, you wrap your fingers around the base which causes him to suck through his teeth at the contact. “I don’t care about my dress, Mark. All I care about is making you feel good”

“Okay” Mark slumps against the back of the toilet seat, licking at his lips as he looks down at you with hazy vision. “Do what you want”

The moment he says those words, you’re already taking him in your mouth and a string of curse words leaves his lips, raising his fist to his mouth and biting down on his knuckles to conceal the noises he wants to make.

His cock feels hot and heavy on your tongue, and you’re taking him down your throat, sucking him and squeezing your hand around the base that you struggle to fit all the way in your mouth. He’s big and it drives you wild, the ache in between your legs becoming almost unbearable but you want to play with him a little longer, to taste him.

With Mark watching you through lidded eyes, it fuels you to put on a show for him and that’s exactly what you do. You pull back and close your lips around his tip, sucking and using your tongue. He’s panting above you, cursing in his fist, moaning when you take him back deep into your mouth, jerking him off with each twist of your own fist.

“You can touch me” You tell him, a string of spit connecting from your lips to the tip of his cock. “Touch me”

“You’re insane” Mark laughs lightly, his free hand coming down to rest on the back of your head, fingers gripping your hair as he pushes you further down on his cock and you gag a little when he hits the back of your throat, but you breathe steadily through your nose, hollowing your cheeks around him. “You’re filthy”

You hum around his cock as you shuffle forwards to sit better between his open legs, the slight sting of his grip on your hair urging you to do better, to give him everything you’ve got. The burn in the back of your throat is pleasurable and you moan, causing his hips to jerk forwards and you take him in deeper.

“Oh, fuck” Mark moans, pushing your head down. “Fuck, just like that𑁋oh my god”

You pull off of him with a pop, using your hand to jerk him off as you smile sweetly up at him, “You’re noisy”

“What do you expect?” Mark breaths out a laugh, hand coming down from the back of your head to caress your cheek. “I got a pretty girl on her knees in front of me sucking my cock”

Your heart swells in your chest, “Pretty girl?”

“Mhm” Mark nods, biting down on his bottom lip. “The prettiest”

The whine that leaves him when you completely let go of his cock almost makes you take him into your hands again, but you’re desperate for him now𑁋desperate to be filled with him.

Usually you’d scold yourself for allowing such a bare minimum compliment to get you hot and bothered but you didn’t care as it sounded so fucking good coming from him.

Mark watches you as you tug your panties down your leg and discard them to the side, bunching the hem of your dress up to your waist as you sit yourself down on his lap. One of his hands comes to rest on your hip while the other touches your cheek, bringing you in for a first kiss.

The kiss is soft at first, delicate, and Mark even leans back to take a look at your face with a small smile on his face. He caresses your cheek, thumb smoothing over your cheekbone, nose brushing against yours before he claims your lips again.

This time, it’s more frantic. You’re nipping at his bottom lip, his tongue melts with yours, hands moving to fist the material of your dress, bunching it higher over your hips as your own hand dips between you both to line his cock at your entrance to sink down onto him.

Mark gasps in your mouth as you moan at the feeling of him filling you so deep, your arms winding around his shoulders to keep yourself steady as you leisurely bounce on his lap, Mark’s grip tight on your hips as he thrusts up into you.

He’s kissing you breathless and you’re too drunk on his lips and cock to pull away for air, lacing your fingers through his blue hair as you fuck yourself down on him, putting all of your energy in riding him and it’s Mark that breaks the kiss to curse loudly with a strangled moan, panting as he stares at you with wild eyes and red lips.

“You feel good” He groans out as you squeeze around him and you whine softly at his compliment, “Fuck𑁋you feel so good”

“You’re noisy” You repeat from before in a teasing tone even though you’re not quiet yourself, unable to keep your noises at bay as you moan loudly when he matches the rhythm of your hips.

You like the way he sounds edging closer and closer to euphoria, and you would relish in the sound a little more if you could but you hear the bathroom door open and you hand immediately flies from his hair to clamp down on his mouth, causing him to stare up at you in alarm as someone walks into the cubicle beside yours.

You’re still lifting yourself and dropping back down on him, and he’s still fucking up into you to keep the pace despite neither of you wanted to get caught. And you’re thankful that whoever is beside you has flushed the toilet the second you let out a cry when he cock hits deep within and Mark’s quick to silence you too, pressing his hand over your own mouth and staring into your eyes.

You’re both panting behind each other's hands and you can make out the sound of water running from a tap before it shuts off, then the bathroom door opens and creaks shut behind them, leaving you both alone once again.

Yet, neither of you move your hand, still keeping each other silent despite the muffled noises you’re both making.

You feel yourself tipping closer and closer to your orgasm and you wonder if Mark’s feeling the same, only getting the answer with his eyes rolling back slightly as he groans, finally dropping his hand from your mouth to grab your waist and pull you down onto him.

Letting your hand drop from his mouth to touch his face, Mark finally speaks, “I’m gonna cum”

“Me too” You exhale deeply. “Cum inside me”

“Oh fuck” Mark grunts, craning his neck up to slot his lips over yours, tongue dipping into your mouth and tangling with yours as he cums deep, keeping you moving against him to reach your own peak and you wail as your orgasm hits you, clenching around his length as you rock in his lap.

You’re breathing heavily, pulling away from his lips to try and catch your breath as he leaves messy kisses down the column on your neck, loosening his hands on your hips to wrap his arms around your waist, holding you close to his chest and yours slide around his shoulders, fingers threading through his hair as your body quivers as it goes through its last few seconds of your orgasm.

It’s silent between you both now as you embrace each other and Mark’s still kissing your neck, rubbing your back comfortingly and you melt into his arms, fully relaxed and content although you should be both cleaning yourself up.

“Just so you know, I don’t usually do this” Mark mumbles in the crevice of your neck and your brows furrow, slightly leaning back to get a good look at his face and he smiles at how confused you look. “I mean, like, meeting someone and hooking up with them straight away. I don’t usually do that”

“I don’t either” You tell him. “I usually go on a few dates before that”

“Noted, I’ll take you out next time” He says nonchalantly and your heart flutters at that. You wonder if he realises what he just said and if he’s serious on potentially seeing you again, you want to question it a little but you keep quiet when you notice Mark’s attention is brought to the décor of the cubicle. “Dude, this is a really nice bathroom though”

©mrkis

#mark lee smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut #nct mark smut

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sneebnationalism · 7 months

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the way sangwoo views sex is so intriguing to me. he honestly isn't as sexually driven as most people seem to assume he is. rather, he's focused on what sex represents to him. he uses it as a way to feel in control and secure with himself. after bum kills jieun, sangwoo fucks him as a way to establish that despite bum gaining some power over someone in a way, sangwoo is still above him. when sangwoo refuses to suck dick, that's not just him trying to dodge the gay allegations. rather, doing so would be putting himself in a position of submission, and therefore making himself weak.

meanwhile, bum is absolutely seeking a more traditional sexual relationship and is unaware of sangwoo's perspective.

i hate how people talk about him calling bum mom during sex because everyone just sees it as a kinky thing and ignores the fact that the whole chapter is like a waking ptsd nightmare. leading up to that, there's so many parallels between bum and eunseo. he's wearing her old apron, he asks to call sangwoo by the same romantic nickname eunseo used to use on him, and other subtle things that would tie the two together.

leading up to this, sangwoo has been going THROUGH IT thinking about his childhood in general and why his life led up to this point. a lot of this centers around his mom. his childhood was full of emotional incest, sexual abuse, witnessing domestic violence, and just general awful treatment from his mother who he cared too much about to refuse.

because sangwoo has been tweaking for days over this, he insists on not making eye contact while he has sex with yoon bum. not only that, but just not seeing his face whatsoever. people normally say that's also because he's dodging the gay allegations, but it's because bum looks like his mom. sangwoo wants to have sex in order to establish some sort of control and feel in power over the idea of his mother. but bum switches to a position where he is on top of sangwoo, the same position he was in when his mom sexually assaulted him.

so when he calls bum mom, it's because sangwoo is now in a position of submission. he's scared. the only person who was ever able to force him into that mindset was his mother. since then, he's been so adamant on avoiding that feeling that he'd kill and torture people solely to remind himself he isn't weak.

#killing stalking #oh sangwoo #yoon bum

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angelplummie · 1 year

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OKAY FIRST OF ALL HEY BABY IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

And yesssss I see the update where you’re writing for killing stalking!!! 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 literally going to die I’m so happy

BUT OKAY, a chubby reader (yk your girl thicc 🤪) yandere/toxic relationship/SMUTTT with Sangwoo where he cheats on Y/n all the time but she’s cocky because he always comes back to them. Then one day Sangwoo gets upset by Y/n’s cockiness and he teaches her a lesson…..

I LOVE YOU BABE AND MUAHHH I MISSED YOU

LOSING YOU

OH SANGWOON X FEM!CHUBBY!READER

cw: degrading, dubcon, implied kidnapping, references to murder, infidelity, he’s just super mean and weird, jealousy, threats of murder

a/n: this one is so fucking late and i’m sorry but i did it! this is going to flop because i never post and it’s a weird one so reblog please i love you

“Y/N? You awake?”

Of course you are, you always wait for him.

“Yes. You’re back late.”

Your voice was quiet with fatigue, but he could hear you alright as he removed his clothes and dropped them beside the bed. You had your back to him, but you could hear the soft thud of his jeans coming down to the hardwood floor, you could hear his shirt land on the edge of the bed. The house was eerily quiet when he wasn’t there, you didn’t like when he was gone. He always came back though. Always.

“Yeah, I was talking to this girl, Jieun. She goes to the same university as me.”

He lifted the covers and slotted himself behind you, your ass tucked right into his crotch, and he slung his big arm across your chest. You could smell him, he reeked of alcohol and girl. You’re sure if you turned around you would see his neck littered in hickeys, the top of his shoulders covered in nail marks. It was the same every time he went out, but what did that matter?

Those girls may think they’ve done it, gotten sangwoo to ’open up’, show them the ‘real him’, but they’re wrong. They’re all wrong. Only you know sangwoo, the real him. He probably tells all those girls about some version of his tragic past, his abusive father, his suicidal mother, and they think they know all there is to know about him. Until the next day and there’s parts of them rotting in sangwoo’s trunk.

You know everything. And you love him anyway. You are the only one for him, and you know it. He always comes back. You know he belongs to you. With you. He needs you like air, every day he comes home and fucks you like an animal, holds you tight, kisses you, he’s even soft with you, real sappy and disgusting. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he likes you a lot, he just... has a short attention span. You’re all he thinks of when he gets home, and it’s not like he really thinks about the other girls. You know it means less than nothing to him with them, and that’s all that matters. And when they’re dead afterwards, there no competition of who he likes more. You were never a jealous type anyway.

“I had sex with her in the men’s bathroom. From behind, against the wall. Then up against the mirror.”

Well, that was new.

“Oh?” you said, ”Did you have fun?”

He never told you the details of his flings, he just didn’t try to hide them, so this was strange. Maybe it was a close call with the authorities and he’s anxious about it.

You feel an curt exhale on your back.

“Of course I had fun. She’s not dead if that’s what you’re thinking. We just fucked.”

Why was sangwoo being so strange?

“Ok,” you turned around to face him, still in his hold. You noticed it’s getting tighter. Just as you thought, you could see blotchy pink hickeys on his neck in the dimming light. His face was neutral, unreadable looking down at you. You can’t lie, he was intimidating like this. To survive sangwoo, to live with him, you have to read him, and read him you cannot.

“Are you alright sangwoo?”

“Obviously,” he snapped, before sighing,

”Don’t you even want to have sex?”

You nearly laughed, but it’s in your best interest not to.

“You mean right now? Aren’t you tired?”

“No I’m not tired!” his voice booms, and you flinch against the covers.

He rolled you over to your back and now he loomed above you, something burning in his eyes. His hands were either side of your face, and his knees caged in your body, tapering in at the thighs, pushing the fat around to a near painful squeeze.

“Whats wrong with you? Aren’t you angry? I fucked someone else, stupid bitch.”

Mouth slightly agape, you tried to process. You didn’t even react to the name calling anymore, although the throb of hurt would never go away.

“You want me to be angry with you?”

“No, of course I don’t. I just want to know why you’re so ok that I cheated on you.”

You had absolutely no idea what was going on, and you were afraid to ask.

Isn’t this every mans dream? A girl that doesn’t care when he sleeps around? What’s his problem?

“Sangwoo...” you breathed, struggling to find the words. You were so confused.

“You always come back,” you wait a second, and when he doesn’t seem to be appeased, you continue, “I don’t care because you always come back to me. I know you like me best, that’s all I care about.”

His frown falters, momentarily, before a meaner, colder look takes his face. In the darkness he’s still beautiful and terrifying.

He hated that you make him burn. Sangwoo doesn’t burn for anyone, he burns people. And yet, everything about you is so... he can’t put it into words how he needs you. The thought of you with another man makes him close to violence, very close. So why can’t you do the same? Why don’t you care? He knows you love him, he isn’t an idiot. But... you aren’t showing it how he wants. Maybe you’ve gotten a little too comfortable. Maybe he needs to rectify that.

“You think I need you that much?” his voice had dropped an octave, gotten quieter. You knew to be careful now.

“No, but-“

“You do, don’t you? You think I’m your lovesick puppy? You think you’re in control?”

“Sangwoo, you’re not-“

“Don’t try and deny it.” his face was blank, totally blank, eyes boring into yours. He stares at you a while longer, and when he got no reply, he continued.

“Well, you’re wrong Y/N. I don’t need you. You need me.”

“I know Sangwoo, I do need you,” your voice shook, heat of the bed doing nothing to quell the cold creeping up your spine.

“Do you think you’re the only one that makes me cum?”

“No, but-“

“But I’m the only one that makes you cum?”

“Well, yes-“

“So what are you so smug about? Get up.”

He leant back, away from you to let you obey him, and got up slowly, towering above you. He stood expectantly, and you stared up at him from the mattress, not quite sure what to think.

“I said, get up,” his tone was sharp, it was hard to disobey.

You pushed yourself up as fast as you could manage, rocking gently to your feet. Your arms hung awkwardly at your sides, you weren’t sure what to do with yourself. His glare was unforgiving, but you couldn’t deny the throb in your clit at the anticipation.

“Turn around.”

And you did, a thrill running through your body. You were still stood stock still when he pried your arms from your sides and he pushed you against the wall, body pressing up against you. It hurt a little, but he was quick to make you forget.

Hands gripping your waist, he ground himself against your plump ass. Your hands were in front of you, bracing yourself against the wall. You made chopped breaths and little whimpers as he groaned into your skin, getting more and more annoyed at you; you drive him insane, why are you so calm? Why can’t you be like he is? You should be stupider, need him more. What the fuck is wrong with you?

He stopped grinding his erection on you all of a sudden, grip not relaxing for a second. Your eyes darted around the icy dark, heart thundering in your chest, face still against the wall.

“Sangwoo...” you whimpered, and he could feel the heart beat of your fat little pussy, “please, keep going.”

He huffed from his nose and his breathe ran down you neck once again.

“Then beg.”

Tears pricked your eyes as you stopped to process what he had said.

“Are you deaf? I told you to beg. Beg for me if you really want me that bad. Prove it.”

“Oh!”, you started as it clicked in your head, and the throbbing of your pussy became insatiable,”Please Sangwoo! Please, give it to me, please! I need you, please!”

He smiled at the whininess in your voice, the desperation. The need.

“I still don’t know if you deserve it,” he had taken on a playful tone now, temper seemingly subdued by your little display.

“Sangwoo!” you whined in protest, desperately pushing back into him. He groaned breathily at the feeling of your ass pressed right into him, the fat cushioning his cock teasingly.

His dick throbbed and he gave in,

“Fine, I’ll give it to you. You really are pathetic you know that?”

And he yanked down your tiny little pyjama shorts, to find your bare pussy underneath.

“Anything I tell you to do you do it.”

Your eyes squeezed shut and you yelped when he delivers a sharp slap between your legs, spread awkwardly open for him against the wall.

“But you still act like your better than me.”

He pressed against the small of your back with one hand, keeping you squashed tightly against the wall, chubby cheeks squishing at the pressure. With the other hand, he hastily undid the zip of his jeans, pulling them down around his thighs. Erection bobbing against your bare ass, he pulled his boxers down to his jeans and you stifled a whimper at the anticipation.

He always got weird like this when he was angry, and mostly you just had to stick it through. He would calm down after he had had his way with you.

Slowly, he lined up, relishing in the little whimpers coming from you. And he pushed in, groaning at how fucking wet you were. It was nearly impossible to go slow, you were so soft and he was angry at you, and yet he did, for fear he would cum too quick if he didn’t.

“You’re not better than me, alright?”

You huff, the stretch of his thick cock making you tense.

“Alright?”

“Yes,” you whined through pouty, drooly lips,”I’m not better than you. I’m sorry Sangwoo, I’m really sorry.”

“tsk,” he gives you one grind of his hips, nestling his enormous cock into you,”You’re just saying that ‘cause you want me to fuck you.”

“No! That’s not it.”

Tears were blurring your vision and you fought with your entire being not to moan, feeling his fat dick rub warm against your insides. He was moving ever so slightly to torment you, make you feel guilty for wanting to moan like a bitch when your poor boyfriend was so upset at you. You knew you had to keep talking, because he still wasn’t moving, and the feeling was enough to drive you mad.

“I love you, Sangwoo, I promise, it’s not-“

But suddenly, he started drawing in and out of you, not slow but not fast either. You let out a gasp of relief, and he smirks behind you.

“Alright, that’s enough outta you. Just take my dick like a good slut. Ohh fuck-“

You squeezed hard and his hips stuttered, pace increasing involuntarily.

He fucked hard into your gummy cunt, and you dripped down onto his balls. Eyes rolling back, he let out a string of grunts right next to your ear, making you shudder.

“See how I got you?” he said breathlessly, gripping the fat of your waist so hard it will probably bruise. The feeling of his breath against your neck made your stomach flip.

“This is just how I was fucking her,” and he drove into you again, grunting.

“I’m fucking you just like I was fucking her.”

You can only whine in response, something he takes as dismay. It pleased him.

“She was tighter,” his balls slap on your clit,”Not such a whore.”

Drool is inched past you lips, but you’ve gone limp in his grasp, only able to brace yourself against the wall. You heard him, but you’re unable to think about what he’s saying. You mumbled,”yeah, yeah, yeah”, he likes to be listened to.

“Maybe I should just get rid of you and keep her instead, maybe she’d be more fucking grateful”

Your breath hitched and there’s a sinking feeling in your stomach. You froze, and he laughed.

“That got your attention, didn’t it?”

You whined as his cock ploughed against your insides, cheek mushing against the wall. But that sinking feeling got deeper.

“Shit,” he hissed, his pace slowing,”I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum inside you.”

You hummed, still panting.

That feeling of dread didn’t fade. It didn’t fade when he came inside you, gruff grunting and a punishing grip on your waist. It didn’t fade as he pulled out, let go of you and let you fall to the ground. It didn’t fade as you felt his presence behind you, staring down at the top of your head.

And it didn’t fade as he walked away, back into bed, called you to him like he loved you. Told you that he loved you, kisses your temple.

And as you crawled into his arms, shaken, sweating, Sangwoo smiles. You need him to keep you alive.

You need him.

His hand rested over your chest, he could feel your heart rate. He could feel your fear. And it made him happy.

You were as afraid of losing him as he was of losing you.

#oh sangwoo #sangwoo x reader #sangwoo x femreader #sangwoo x f!reader #killing stalking #killing stalking fic #killing stalking x reader #ks fic #ks sangwoo #tw dubcon #tw jealousy #death threats #please people see this i’m begging u #sangwoo thirst #sangwoo smut #killing stalking smut #killing stalking thirst #oh sangwoo x reader

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killltheidol · 4 months

Text

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ REJECTS is a six-piece co-ed idol group under Angelico Entertainment. They debuted in 2017 with the lineup of REID, JIEUN, AIDEN, SUNHEE, and MIYU.

After the unfortunate passing of Sunhee in 2019, the group would go on a year hiatus and undergo a rebrand. With an original soft and sweet concept, when the group would reemerge in 2021, they'd take on a new and edgier concept as well as add four members: HANBIN, LOVE, JISU, and BEA.

This rebrand would prove to be successful, gaining the group a lot of traction and attention. However, Jisu would mysteriously leave Rejects in 2023 with no official explanation. He was swiftly replaced with ASH, forming their current lineup.

Reid's pre-debut life remains shrouded in mystery, with limited information available about his journey before joining REJECTS. His entrance into the limelight occurred with his debut in the co-ed group.

Reid is the son of affluent parents, both successful business owners. His father owns a lumbar company, while his mother is the proprietor of a hair care business. The influence of his family's success adds an intriguing layer to Reid's background.

Speculation surrounds Reid's debut, with some suggesting it might have been secured through financial means. Despite persistent rumors, Reid and his fellow group members staunchly reject these claims, emphasizing the authenticity of his entry into REJECTS.

Fun Fact! :: Reid is an avid collector of vintage vinyl records. He's shown his collection a few times, claiming he owns well over 200 records, and continues growing his collection.

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: REID

KOREAN NAME :: Kim Sangwon

BIRTH NAME :: Reid Kim

BIRTHDAY :: April 12th, 1997

ZODIAC :: Aries

BIRTHPLACE :: New Haven, Connecticut

HOMETOWN :: New Haven, Connecticut

ETHNICITY :: Korean

NATIONALITY :: American

FACECLAIM :: Johnny Suh

HEIGHT :: 180 cm || 6′2

Jieun was born in Busan, South Korea, to a trot singer mother and a famous record producing father. Her career path was pre-determined due to her parents, beginning her training at just 11 years old. Her entire life has been in the spotlight, making her grow a thick skin and a harsh personality.

Originally, Jieun would debut in the now-disbanded rotational group SE4SONS at 16. Jieun's anticipated debut with SE4SONS took an unexpected turn when allegations of her being a violent bully surfaced. Promo shots featuring her were posted on the official SE4SONS SNS accounts, creating initial excitement for her inclusion in the group.

Soon after the promotional material was released, allegations of Jieun's involvement in a violent bullying incident emerged. These claims were supported by photographic proof and accompanying documents. Despite the compelling evidence, the allegations were later deleted and erased from the internet, leaving a cloud of uncertainty.

In the face of controversy, Jieun maintained a mostly silent stance on the matter. The absence of a confirmed denial or acknowledgment allowed speculation to persist. Many interpreted her removal from the SE4SONS lineup as an implicit confirmation of the allegations, with the company seemingly choosing to overlook the issue.

Jieun addressed the controversy in a singular statement, expressing frustration: "You don’t know me or what happened. Stop bringing it up, or my company will take legal action." This solitary response added another layer of mystery to the unresolved allegations.

Years later, Jieun still remains the most controversial member of Rejects.

Fun Fact! :: Jieun is extremely talented at calligraphy. She's been credited for making multiple logos for Rejects and is often drawing on the members' hands and arms.

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: JIEUN

BIRTH NAME :: Min Jieun

BIRTHDAY :: October 21st, 1999

ZODIAC :: Scorpio

BIRTHPLACE :: Busan, South Korea

HOMETOWN :: Seoul, South Korea

ETHNICITY :: Korean

NATIONALITY :: Korean

FACECLAIM :: Cho Miyeon

HEIGHT :: 162 cm || 5′3

Aiden's journey into the spotlight commenced within the esteemed trainee group "Hi-Class," where he stood as the first member to graduate and make an official debut. His tenure in Hi-Class spanned approximately a year, preceded by two years of private training within the Angelico Entertainment system.

Aiden's graduation from Hi-Class, although a milestone as the first to achieve this feat, was marred by controversy. Being perceived as a "quiet" member who never ranked in the top ten during his tenure, the event garnered minimal attention. The unremarkable nature of his graduation led to a lackluster response from Hi-Class fans, with many choosing not to attend or tune in.

The aftermath of Aiden's graduation manifested as a barrage of hate and protest. Considered controversial due to the lack of fanfare during his Hi-Class departure, Aiden's addition to Rejects was met with skepticism and rejection. Fans chose to ignore him and excluded him from discussions about the group.

Speculation surrounding Aiden's family allegedly paying for his spot in Rejects further fueled the controversy. This speculation resulted in Aiden becoming a target for criticism, earning him the unfortunate reputation of being the group's punching bag. This dynamic persists not only within Rejects but extends to the broader context of Angelico Entertainment.

Fun Fact! :: Aiden is one of the highest-paid models under Angelico despite not being a model. He's easily the most recognizable face in the group.

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: AIDEN

KOREAN NAME :: Yoon Iseul

BIRTH NAME :: Aiden Yoon

BIRTHDAY :: November 5th, 1998

ZODIAC :: Scorpio

BIRTHPLACE :: Los Angeles, California

HOMETOWN :: Los Angeles, California

ETHNICITY :: Korean

NATIONALITY :: American

FACECLAIM :: Kim Jungwoo

HEIGHT :: 6′0

Miyu's entry into entertainment began as a child model in Japan, where her early charm was noticed by talent scouts. She joined ANGELICO Entertainment in 2015, debuting in BLISSKISS as the main dancer and visual. The group faced challenges and disbanded in 2017 with minimal success. She would debut in Rejects a few months later to the dismay of BLISSKISS fans.

After Sunhee's passing, Miyu took on the role of Rejects' leader. Recognized for her natural leadership, she guided the co-ed group through transitions.

Miyu shares a close bond with Aiden, contributing to group cohesion. Their connection is a notable aspect of Rejects' dynamics. Miyu plays a key role in creating Rejects' music, adding a distinct sound to the co-ed ensemble.

Fun Fact! :: Miyu doubles as Rejects' unofficial chef, cooking the group almost every night for their group dinners.

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: MIYU

BIRTH NAME :: Kubo Miyu

BIRTHDAY :: September 10th, 1998

ZODIAC :: Virgo

BIRTHPLACE :: Osaka, Japan

HOMETOWN :: Tokyo, Japan

ETHNICITY :: Japanese-Italian

NATIONALITY :: Japanese

FACECLAIM :: Serena Motola

HEIGHT :: 165 cm || 5′4

Bang Hanbin, born in Busan, South Korea, in 1998, embarked on his entertainment journey with just two years of training. At 14, he made his original debut in 2012 with the controversial boy group "HIGHSKY" under the now-defunct label FANTASY ACADEMY. The group's mature concept for their young ages stirred criticism.

In 2015, an investigation into FANTASY ACADEMY unfolded, leading to the arrest of the CEO and staff for "misconduct" with underaged talent. HIGHSKY disbanded, propelling Hanbin into acting and a moderately successful soloist career.

Hanbin's return to the spotlight on Produce X showcased his visuals, humor, and poignant backstory. His revelations about mistreatment at FANTASY ACADEMY reignited public interest in his past.

Despite not making it to the debut lineup of X1, Hanbin found a new beginning with Rejects. Debuting as the visual, lead vocalist, and lead dancer, his multifaceted talents enhance the group's dynamic.

Fun Fact! :: In his downtime, Hanbin is the undisputed Rejects gaming champion, showcasing his competitive spirit offstage. He can, and will, beat you at any version of Super Mario.

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: Hanbin

NAME :: Bang Hanbin

BIRTHDAY :: September 7, 1998

ZODIAC :: Virgo

BIRTHPLACE :: Busan, South Korea

HOMETOWN :: Busan, South Korea

ETHNICITY :: Korean

NATIONALITY :: Korean

FACECLAIM :: Jung Jaehyun

HEIGHT :: 185 cm || 6′1

Isla Williams was born in her aunt's Malibu home on June 1st, 1999. Isla was raised by her aunt after her mother would never come to pick her up from her house when she was three. Isla's mother has never attempted to reconnect with her, and her father was unaware of her existence until she was fourteen. Though her upbringing was unconventional, Isla was a very happy child with a passion for singing and performing.

Isla's idol journey began when she was 15, joining an overseas JPOP group called "IceDream," where they would perform covers of Hello! Project & WACK songs. These covers would catch the attention of UP-FRONT PROMOTION, resulting in her getting recruited to be added to ANGERME, a group within Hello! Project. She would take on the stage name "Ai" during her time in ANGERME. She would graduate from the group in 2018 after being with the group for four years.

Isla would then go under a "rebrand" and debut in the rotational K-pop group GIRLGARDEN28 in 2019 under the stage name "Love" and quickly become a fan favorite. However, her addition to GG28 wouldn't last long as she would graduate in 2020, and her contract with Flowerbank would be dissolved.

Just a few months later, and to the shock of many, Love would reappear in Rejects as their main vocalist and lead dancer.

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: Love

KOREAN NAME :: Isla Williams

BIRTHDAY :: June 1, 1999

ZODIAC :: Gemini

BIRTHPLACE :: Malibu, California

HOMETOWN :: Malibu, California

ETHNICITY :: Mixed ( Black + European )

NATIONALITY :: American

FACECLAIM :: Nvee

HEIGHT :: 157 cm || 5′2

Ash Kim was born in Melbourne, Australia in 2000 to a single mother, being the youngest child alongside his older brother. He would move to South Korea at age 9 for his mother's work. Upon moving to South Korea, Ash would attend an international school where he would meet the "coolest people" he's ever met and the ones who sparked his love for music. Logan and Jinyoung would let him join their "band" after he begged them enough to do so, taking on the position of their drummer.

They began practicing at Logan’s house as a trio up until 2013, when Logan met their fourth and final member, Grace, who would later go by the stage name Ivy. After much consideration from the boys, Grace became an official member of the band, taking a position on the bass.

The rag-tag group began busking around Seoul and performing at small venues until they were picked up by Level Up Entertainment in 2015. While the group was excited to be under an actual label, Level Up Entertainment wiped their previous discography from the internet to give the group a “fresh start.” It’s been confirmed that this was done without any of the member's consent, and they’re still upset over their old discography essentially being lost.

Upon their debut under Level Up, the band did relevantly well and garnered a small yet dedicated fanbase. They still busked around Seoul and often performed mini concerts around Korea while giving out copies of their albums in hopes of gaining more fans. While things looked fine to the public, the band was struggling creatively behind the scenes due to artistic differences with their management.

In late 2017, Ash made a post on his Instagram story expressing how trapped he felt under his company and how the group was being punished with inactivity for not conforming to the image their label wanted for them. The post was later deleted, but it caused some buzz on the internet, gaining them more support.

Despite this support, Level Up Entertainment, in what is now known as an abuse of power, would disband 4OCEANS but would not release the members of their 10-year contract. After a lengthy legal battle, Ash, Logan, and Ivy were able to get out of their contracts, while Jinyoung was not so lucky and remained under Level Up Entertainment.

Ash would join Angelico Entertainment, apparently very close to the former CEO, Son Jinhwa, and produce under the label until he made his idol debut in 2020 with the now-disbanded group Cicada. After the abrupt disbandment of the group, Ash would be added to Rejects without notice, just appearing with them on Inkigayo one day.

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: ASH

KOREAN NAME :: Kim Yijoon

BIRTHDAY :: October 11th, 2000

ZODIAC :: Scorpio

BIRTHPLACE :: Melbourne, Australia

HOMETOWN :: Seoul, South Korea

ETHNICITY :: Korean

NATIONALITY :: Korean

FACECLAIM :: Han Jisung

HEIGHT :: 185 cm || 6′1

Beatrice "Bea" Tennet made a crashing entrance into the KPOP landscape by being one of seven female contestants on the JYP survival show STRAY KIDS. She trained three years prior to appearing on the survival show, specializing in dance and vocals. She was noted for being close to the boys and a punching bag for netizens as they deemed her "too touchy" with the other contestants.

She would make it to the final episode alongside three other female contestants but would not make the final group. Despite this, Bea would make her debut in ITZY in 2019 as the group's main dancer and lead rapper. While in ITZY, Bea would find herself being the punching bag for Kpop stans online and struggled to deal with the hate train towards her and her groupmates.

Due to this, in mid-2020, Bea would take an "indefinite hiatus" from ITZY that would later result in her departing from the group within the same year.

After practically vanishing from the public eye, Bea would reappear in Rejects in 2021, clearly doing much better than she was the year prior. She would take on the position of main dancer, lead vocalist, and sub-rapper.

🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: BEA

KOREAN NAME :: Beatrice Tennet

BIRTHDAY :: December 20, 2001

ZODIAC :: Sagittarius

BIRTHPLACE :: Victoria, Canada

HOMETOWN :: Victoria, Canada

ETHNICITY :: European

NATIONALITY :: Canadian

FACECLAIM :: Tate Mcrae

HEIGHT :: 175 cm || 5′9

#🕰️ ˖ ࣪ εïз ⬦ PROFILES!#ficnetfairy #oc kpop group #fictional idol community #kpop oc #fake kpop oc #idol oc #oc girl group #fake kpop idol #idolverse #fictional idol group #idol au #bts addition #kpop addition #kpop au #fake kpop girl group #fake kpop group

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ratedfleur · 6 months

Note

DAD JIWOONG X BABYSITTER IM FUCKING TJEJDJDJDJ I NEED HIM BADDDDD

pls elaborate on dad jiwoong hcs bc im going crazy thinking about him being a dilf 😫

AAAAAA jiwoong just emits DILF energy 🫠

dad!jiwoong who likes to keep an eye on you and his daughter, accidentally getting a glimpse of your cleavage when you bend over whilst playing with jieun.

dad!jiwoong who tries to suppress his urge to slam you against the wall and make out with you.

dad!jiwoong who just adores to be around jieun, happy smiles and giggle emitting from the both of them.

dad!jiwoong who just wants to constantly bend you over and fuck his feelings out of him.

dad!jiwoong who finds himself calling in the middle of the night when jieun is sick and crying. he thinks you’re better off as a parent than jieun’s actual mother.

#mikha’s works.#zb1 #zerobaseone #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 jiwoong #jiwoong smut #zb1 smut

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ratherbefangirling · 3 months

Text

Love wins all: perfect imperfect

An AU because I can't get it out my head but also I can't think enough to write a fic 🤧 unedited as usual. Or is it fic 🤔

Warning ⚠️: alludes to abuse, bullying, insensitive words for disability. And I clearly don't know anything about disabilities so please I'm sorry if I made a mess of it.

Genre: angst

Taehyung's life sucked. It truly did. It was like a downward spiral. Going round and round until he was worse off thereon from where he started.

Nobody knows they are different until somebody points it out. Taehyung grew up with his halmeoni, his grandmother who he adored. Loosing his parents had not been a tradegy when he never knew them to begin with.

He hadn't paid much attention to his eyes. He was half blind and really he could still see. He just tripped a lot more. When he'd be a little older the doctor would explain about all the medical jargon. But when he was little his grandma told that the heavens made him so beautiful that michievious devil's in their envy stole his other eye and if he were good one day the angels would bless him.

Then his grandmother died. And all the fairytale with her. His uncle adopted him. They had a deal. He fed and clothed Taehyung. Taehyung kept the house clean and stayed out of trouble. Sometimes his uncle felt nice enough to buy him strawberries. Sometimes he felt bad enough to turn his skin into strawberries.

And so Taehyung trembled as if winter had seated into his bones... despite that Taehyung didn't hate his uncle. At least his uncle didn't abandon him like his mother who'd found a new rich lover and dropped her infant and disappeared. An imperfection in her perfect world.

Then his uncle died and Taehyung figured it was his destiny to be abandoned.

As he bowed quite listless infront of every one who came to the funeral.

Poor thing.

Cursed child.

Devils spawn

Pitiful boy

Have you seen his eyes? They gave me such a scare

He's heard it all before. Everyday at school it's fascinating how kids can't get tired of pointing out the obvious. Pathetic people who thrive of the misery of others.

Suddenly a hush fell over the funeral hall. A man in an expensive black suit, surrounded by bodyguards came to pay respect.

"Im sorry for your loss mister?"

"Kim Taehyung."

"Yes, I'm the owner of the factory your uncle worked at as an apology I would like to provide compensation."

Taehyung nodded. The rest of it was a blur. He remembers drinking some of his uncle's liquor. Eating expired ramen. Laughing so hard and crying till he fell asleep. He remember meeting the lawyers and signing things he didn't understand and then he finds himself new uniform, new books in hand in front of a building so magnificent he felt cheap.

Soul Highschool for children with special needs.

He thinks his old classmates will have quite a laugh he's in a school with his kind. In a school of freaks they'd lovingly call it.

And maybe the universe finally felt bad for him because there he meet Jieun. His Jieun.

He sees her and thinks oh he's so grateful he's alive. She's beautiful. Like a blossom in the winter. Like spring. Like an angel.

When the teacher assigns Jieun to show him around. He follows her a little dazed. Almost falling like he always does and she gives him her hand like it's the most natural thing in the world, like being kind to him is so easy and its worth scraping his knees sometimes to see her smile at his dorkiness and so he can stare at her as she carefully bandages his knee blowing over it softly and the pain almost disappears.

You should be careful

She writes on her notepad and he nods.

I can't see in 3d like others.

He writes back.

If you speak slowly I can read your lips. . I mean you don't have to write to respond

He nods in understanding and she smiles at him. And he smiles back. And it's a first smile in a long while, a small smile that lasts a long while.

So everyday little by little she guides him where the slopes are where the flowers are (because in this school they had textured walls and scented herbs and flowers so that the kids have easier time figuring out their class rooms on the basis of scents and touch)

One day they are sitting together eating when he sees her talking in sign language.

Teach me

She nods. And then everyday little by little he learns to speak to her. By touch, by taps, and maybe he's taking advantage of the situation and you know he shamelessly is. Calling it their secret language. He holds her hands.

One squeeze for yes. Two for no. And three for I love you.

And the fourth for I love you too.

He thinks she can tell. When they're out at the mall and he holds her hands claiming he can't see properly and he needs her to guide him.

He's allowed to have this advantage atleast.

So she takes him and he follows. Because really for her he'd go wherever. As long as they were together.

He can't tell who confesses first. He can't remember who kisses first just the tang of strawberry lip tint makes him smile cause really. How can someone be so perfect.

And then he becomes greedy all the time ceaselessly touching tapping pinching... till she playfully shoves him away pretending to be angry.

They come to take photos in the photo film booth to mark their year of togetherness(the happiest year of his life(sorry grandma he apologises to his grandma promising to put extra strawberries in her memorial this year)).

He pulls her closer. And she melts into him. And really he couldn't be happier. He pulls out a ring asking her to marry him. And he's glad he chose the moment because now her surprised face sits on their side table. And she's tried getting rid of it. But he won't let it happen. He wants all of her the bad the good the ugly the beautiful the stubborn the sweet the soft the sour everything until the very end .

I look ugly

Is it possible for the most beautiful girl to look ugly?

He signs and kisses her.

Dearest darling my universe.

And Taehyung believes he's cursed. He has to be because there is no other way to explain what happens next.

He's never paid much attention to news. He never has had time for it. It's nonsense most of it he thinks. Until the government declared to save the planet they'll eliminate the defects.

Defects. . .

Their cozy home was destroyed. It felt now like a dream he had conjured to keep himself safe, if not for the sound of Jieun breathing and her head on his lap as she rested.

She's so beautiful.

Even with the scars and dirty clothes and her bones that become prominent as there keeps being lesser food to scavenge.

She reaches out to him. He smiles at her as she wakes. He can't see her clearly but she is all He can ever see.

He know there situation has made her more frustrated. She wants to call out his name but instead she digs her nails into him. That's her way of screaming.

He still remembers the day their old safe house was discovered in the mayhem he'd lost sight of her and the crowd pushed her away.

I lost you I almost lost you.

And with the fear thudding in his heart he didn't know how to comfort her.

He knows not many people are left. It really doesn't matter. What matters is they can have one more moment together. Stay together a just a little longer. Cause he's not quite ready to loose her. He never will be.

They still have hope that their old safe house is safe, praying once the cubes are done with their work they'll move on to a different target because surely they won't search the same place again.

It's a flimsy hope. But hope all the same.

Their safe house is the same mall they had their first dates on.

But nothing was the same, infact it was entirely different.

They both were tired. He could tell. Their conversation had dissipated to save energy for survival.

Until they found the camcorder. It was an old model. And somehow the charging remained. It had a soft filter mode. And through its lens everything looked more dreamy. Perhaps all this was a bad dream. And they'd wake up and everything will be alright again.

Kim Taehyung-ssi would you like to say anything to the camera

"I would. Actually I'm on My way to propose my beautiful girlfriend and we're going on a date tonight. So wish me luck."

She smiled. He took the camcorder from her.

"Let's go. We'll be late for our reservation."

So off they went to play pretend in the finest restaurant of the mall.

Taehyung pulled out a ring he'd stolen earlier when she wasn't looking. At least he hoped she wasn't. (But she was... Always looking at him. Her eyes couldn't settle elsewhere and when he smoothly (or so he thought) pocketed the ring she suppressed a giggle pretending not to notice)

Will you marry me?

She squeezes his hand.

Yes

He laughs lifting her spinning her around.

I saw a dress shop on third floor.

He tells her excited. And she takes his hand and off they go. Through the shadows and the flickering lights. They reach the fancy wedding boutique. Trying on different dresses and suits.

Taehyung remembers asking her, back when things were different. In another cozy afternoon on their soft bed as he played with her hair.

How would you like our wedding to be?

I would want to invite everyone and have fun. To dance and sing and be merry.

To sing?

He asks curious.

My friend told me you had a lovely voice. I'm jealous I can't hear it.

So Taehyung had gone and recorded his voice and turned it into beats so she could enjoy it.

And maybe it wasn't a wedding she dreamed of but it was a wedding. Because what more did a wedding need than a groom and a bride who loved each other.

Laughing, playing around, slow dancing in each others arms as if they had all the time in the world. Looking in the mirror like it's a portrait as the camcorder captures the dreamy glow in their faces.

Should we go see our photobooth?

Taehyung only smiles in return.

So they go through the debris as her dress trails through the dirt. And like a miracle it's still there up and running.

So they both sit, squeezing into the booth. As the lights flashes. He squeezes her hand thrice and she squeezes it four times in response.

Jieun gets out excited to see how the photos have turned out and Taehyung watches his lovely bride. She turns to show him the photos and that's when she sees it. The cube.

The sentinel being that has ruined their live. Their future, their hopes and dreams all shattered.

She drags him away and he follows. She thinks she's escaped it when she sees another. It dawns on her that the only way to escape is to go through the center of the mall. Through the grave of clothes.

She runs and runs but it's too late. It has seen them.

And it's in front of them.

Instinctively she picks up a pipe from the ground easy to fight to defend.

Taehyung sees her and takes it from her ready to defend to protect. Pouring all his rage and frustration into hitting it.

But the cube remains unscathed.

All Taehyung can think of is that it can't end like this. He's not ready to let her go. But when rage is gone despair remains. He feels her hold him. He's wrapped in her arms trembling like he's a child again. She covers his eyes in her last attempt to protect it and he can swear he heard her say I love you

And then nothing.

Tumblr deleted the last part I wrote earlier TT from the proposal part if its weird that's why I'm sorry I tried.. but I hope it turned out ok. Ugh its so irritating.

Permanent Masterlist: @mintsugarmy : @cryingpages : @exfolitae

#love wins all #bts fanfic #bts drabble #Taehyung fic #kim taehyung #bts fic #v #v x iu #bts x oc #Taehyung x oc #bts angst #bts au

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808airsoftbros · 9 months

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The Vampire Hierarchy

Established 1192 AD by Queen Lee Jieun I to quell the chaos and negative energy of her dear sisters of the Red Stained Moon. In times long past, the sisters killed each other for blood and for love as finding a proper male for a mate is difficult.

So we shall start from the bottom of the royal pyramid to the very tip...

The Blood Sister

The Blood Sisters as titled are the lowest rank and are sworn as Sisters of the Blood Stained Moon when they are old enough to speak

You'll most likely encounter them as the largest population compared to the higher royal members

But that doesn't mean they are weak and vulnreable... They can definitely hold their own ground

However most of the time they prefer to stay together in certain groups/clans run by the Alpha Vampire

Typically are the scouts and rescuers of the children and believe me they are excellent mothers and experts on earning the trust of orphans

"Where are your parents little one~?" "Do you want to come with me~? I'll keep you safe~. I promise~,"

The Alpha Vampire

The Alpha Vampire is the leading Sister of the clan and in some cases are district leaders

Strict yet kind to her Sisters and treats her own children like her own even if they don't belong to her

However, the title of Alpha isn't just given... It must be earned

Only the eldest and strongest of the clan are able to pass the trials and be sworn in as the Alpha of her clan by the Dutchess

But she doesn't lead alone. She has her Sisters and her Enforcer to back her up in time of need

To those who wish nothing but harm and have ill intent attacking or messing with an Alpha is signing your own death warrant and will not hesitate to punish and kill those who pose a threat

Countess/Dutchess

The second highest rank of the Kingdom and the Queen's advisors and Representatives selected by hand by the Queen herself

Encountering an Countess/Dutchess is quite a rare sight and something to behold of as their beauty is phenomenal

However being an Countess/Dutchess isn't an easy life... Even for a Vampire as it's highly demanding and they have to multi task with their husband

But they will always make time to those who mean the most

Countess/Dutchesses aren't part of clans and they go solo but that doesn't make them vulnreable to attackers

But the Leading Countess would be Shen Xiaoting a Representative from the Vampire Kingdom in China

Queen

Ah the top of the Hierarchy Pyramid... Queen Lea Jieun I the Vampire Blood Sister who invented the royal system|

She's the Leader and Queen of her Kingdom and ensures that her Sisters and Children prosper in peaceful times and wartime

But that doesn't mean she won't repress uprisings or insurections because rebellion isn't tolerated in her Kingdom

She has her own Husband/Child to tend to but she has her advisors to run her Kingdom and districts

Living for over 900 years she's the eldest of them all thus she's the wisest of them all

However she does her weak points but her Sisters have that covered and will often visit the cities and towns to check on her people

#vampire #vampire au #vampire aesthetic #kpop #kpop idol #kpop gg #kpop vampire au

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slcwdance · 3 months

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Welcome to slcwdance!! a blog for midnightfms and penned by Liz ( 21+, cst ). Template credit to: sup_edits. Introducing . . . M O O N C H A E Y O U N G . . .

☾ ° 。◜Lee Jieun (iu). cis female. she/her.◞ could have swore i saw Moon Chaeyoung in the city tonight, probably heading to saeloun market ! i suppose after living in daegu for 1 year, they know what they like. i hear they’re a costume maker at masquerade community theater, but who knows. friends describe the 28 year old as Resilient + Affectionate, but others might view them as more Detached + Volatile. putting them into words? i’d say they have an air of pricked fingers covered in bandaids, a messy livingroom, old photos hidden away under the bed, if you can’t find them, they might be looking at the city lights from eodum apartments!

🐇 A B O U T

full name : Moon Chaeyoung nickname : - . age : 28 . gender : cis woman . pronouns : she / her . fc: Lee Jieun (IU) orientation : heterosexual /heteroromantic. date of birth : june 18th , 1995 occupation : costume maker.

🐇 B I O G R A P H Y.

Born with a silver spoon, Chaeyoung is the only daughter and was the heir to the Moon Empire. Ever since she was a baby whatever she wanted she got without even having to ask for it, as a child her room had been filled with toys and during her teenage years her closet had been filled with brand names only. It was a dream life for many, yet in exchange of all those luxuries she was expected to be the best, another thing for her parents to boast about, and she played her part really well.

She became interested in ballet at a young age and it became her whole world. Her eyes sparkled and her mother was more than happy to sign her up in a prestigious academy for it. Chaeyoung dived into that world while keeping her academics as top of her classes, sleepless nights with private tutors came and went but it was worth it in her eyes as she got to compete in the Asian Grand Prix and other competitions earning the attetion of the Korean National Ballet. She was doing wonderful in this new place slowly rising ranks until she became the first dancer, the prima ballerina of the National Ballet and that is when her dreams came crashing down.

She was pregnant.

And she was on her own, the father of the baby was gone and so were her supportive parents who claimed she was a shame to the family once they found out. With nothing more than what she could carry on her bags, Chaeyoung left that life behind moving to Daegu to start again, just her baby and her.

...1 year later.

Chaeyoung pregnancy ran smoothly thanks to a neighbor that took care of her and treated her as if she was her own daughter, the caring mother she never had. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy Jisung who is now almost 1. Even if she struggles with her work, her home is always filled with love.

🐇 P E R S O N A L I T Y.

The Chaeyoung of today is very different from the one during her teen years. The girl who never had to work for anything is now working any job she can, learning new things that can be done at home so she can work while staying close to her baby. long gone is the childish chaeyoung replaced by one driven by love, one that never gives up. her fingers are pricked from her work as a seamstress for the theater but she takes pride in them. A bit emotional detached, takes long to earn her trust and for her to open up, keeps new people at arm's length afraid they would leave her again.

+resilient +adaptable + affectionate

-detached -volatile -mistrustful

🐇 C O N N E C T I O N S

c o m i n g s o o n

#midnightintro #pinned post

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kusukixcrystal · 11 months

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Zen is a Prince From Grass

First, we will start with comparisons.

Younger Zen/Hyun (Age 18?):

Younger Jieun/Etinos (Age 16):

Older Jieun/Etinos (Age 19?):

Older Zen/Hyun (Age 23):

... I wanted to get that out of the way first. Zen and Jieun obviously have physical similarities (especially when they were both younger and drawn with thick eyelashes), but let’s go beyond this. After all, Cheritz has a habit of making the love interests in their games have similarities to each other. In every game, you always have 5 love interests and 1 MC pursuing them because of reasons (V and Ray's routes broke this pattern, but the original MM only had 5 routes so...). There are more specific similarities like 707 and Red, Yeonho, and Yoosung, arguably Lance and Jumin, etc. Now, I think this goes deeper in the case of Zen and Jieun.

In another post, I talk about how there is a pattern with Cheritz boys who have red eyes, and it's that they all have powers. It is explicitly stated/heavily hinted they have this power, and I pointed out that Jieun and Zen’s power is basically the same. (There’s gonna be a lot of screenshots as points of evidence/to get my points across).

I don’t have the exact screenshot of Zen saying that his dreams predict the future, but I’m sure he explicitly mentions this at some point in the game. If he didn’t, in my other post I mention 2 examples of him predicting the future. What am I suggesting exactly? Well, I think that Zen is not only royalty but also related to Jieun somehow.

Let’s start with what we know about Jieun’s power:

This is Jieun’s explanation from his route when confronted by Heejung. I have no idea where it is mentioned, but having red eyes is also another sign that you have these powers. (If someone knows where in the game this comes up let me know!). When he sees the future, wind flies everywhere and he uses it on purpose to see Heejung’s future specifically.

This is different from Zen, who only sees the future in dreams, and they come to him randomly. Though, I think Jieun does mention that he had to train his power in order to use it at will. If Zen was gifted this power by the gods, then doesn’t that mean that he is from Grass? And not only that, he has the potential to become king? If that is the case, why is he not there, and living a normal life?

To answer that question, we have to talk about Jihae/Eddison:

He is key to this theory. He is Jieun’s knight and his duty is to protect him. In Jieun’s route, he talks briefly about their past:

Jieun is talking about his own mother, and how she was a maid, while his father was presumably the king because Jieun still retains his prince status, despite his parents being from different classes.

He was separated from her after he was born, and the only way she can hear about Jieun is through Jihae (Jieun calls him ‘Eddie’ as a nickname).

Dark blue text is Jihae. Light blue is Jieun:

A lot to unpack here. This dialogue shows how Grass has a strict hierarchy. Aristocrats and commoners shouldn’t have relations. If they do, the child of such an affair is treated badly. Even though one of Jieun’s parents was of low birth, because he can see the future and has white hair, he is left alone. In fact, he’s still eligible to become king despite everything. Jihae was in the same boat, but because his hair was gray he was judged, called ugly, and a bad omen. In the dialogue above we see Jihae call himself filthy, a testament to how people treat him on the daily. Jieun recognizes how beautiful Jihae truly is, and that isn’t an exaggeration! When they come to Earth, Jihae is offered modeling jobs when he’s in Busan and starts a career out of it.

The 2nd screenshot shows him in one of his modeling gigs (Let’s take a second to appreciate him). It’s not that the rabbits in Grass do not see that he is beautiful, but that his social status as a child of a commoner/outsider derides everything else. In fact, his good looks probably garner even more disgust. Heejung also considers Jieun to be beautiful, so it might also be a facet of being noble/royal to be beautiful by Earth's standards.

What does that have to do with Zen? Well:

1. Has gray hair.

2. Is considered extremely handsome, and is so popular that even Jumin has offered him to model for his company.

3. Has red eyes and can see the future in his dreams.

4. His healing ability! Magic is a thing in Grass so maybe that has something to do with it?

5. His own ‘family’ have voiced how much Zen doesn’t look like them:

“Why do we look so different?” I wonder why too Zen’s bro.

Poor Zen still gets bothered by people because of his looks. At least it's not as hostile as Jihae’s experience, but it’s upsetting nonetheless.

All of this added up, and you can see where I’m going with this. Zen could be a prince, one parent royal, and the other a commoner/outsider. This gives him gray hair, but he is still born with the power of precognition, making him eligible to become king. Who knows if his power would outweigh his status? It might not, if he ended up on Earth in the end.

Jieun stated that once every 3 generations, a divine child like himself is born. Zen and Jieun are clearly not the same people since their hair color is different.

I believe Zen is either a prince:

1. 3 generations after Jieun.

2. At some point in Grass’ history was a prince, whether in the past or the future.

The reason I say this is because of the timeline. Dandelion and Nameless have very explicit dates for when and where it takes place. Most of the time both take place on Earth in South Korea between the years 2012-2013. But Mystic Messenger is a big question mark. D & N’s years correspond with the year the games were released in. If we follow that pattern, then Mystic Messenger would have happened in 2016. The thing is, that is not confirmed in-game, and is just speculation. So, we can give the timeline some leeway.

There are 3 possibilities for how Zen got sent to Earth:

1. Zen made a desperate wish to leave Grass: This is the sad option. Based on how we see Jihae be treated, especially if you get deeper into his backstory, Zen could have been neglected/verbally abused/etc. for his hair. The Wizard in Dandelion can grant any wish you desire, as long as that wish is desperate. If Zen arrived on Earth as a child, then the implications of that are even worse. In exchange for a wish, your memories relating to that wish are taken away. Perhaps his memories of Grass was the price and that’s why he doesn’t remember anything. The earliest memory we see in-game was from when he was studying with his older brother as a child when he was 7 years old.

2. Sorcerers from the royal family: They sent him to Earth as a child. I bring this up because, in Dandelion, travel between the planets was seen as impossible. Of course, with the exception of The Wizard and making a desperate wish. He was the one who brought the rabbit and cat boys to Earth, after all. BUT THEN, Jieun came in.

At the end of Jieun’s route, he gets separated from Heejung and has to go back to Grass. 3 years after, Heejung is summoned to Grass by a group of sorcerers Jieun got together (Whether they are actually other wizards is up for debate). Jieun overcame the odds. This is why I suggested that Zen is a prince 3 generations after Jieun. Perhaps this spell was tweaked to send Zen to Earth instead of the other way around. Going back to what I said before, if Zen is a prince 3 generations after Jieun, and got sent to Earth in South Korea specifically, then it can make sense why it happened. 3 generations down the line I think records would remain of a former king (Jieun) summoning a woman (Heejung) from another planet, and maybe Jieun documented his stay in South Korea. A portal dropping Zen in South Korea of all places on the planet could make sense from this angle. Maybe he had some protection spells cast on him (his random fast healing?) and maybe even his human family has been bewitched to believe he is their birth son? Maybe some member of the royal family orchestrated all of this for Zen’s sake, so that he can live a life free of judgment (didn’t quite work out but still). This is mostly conjecture though.

The details of how all of that would happen are up in the air.

3. Zen was unwillingly sent to Earth/MM universe(?) and is now trapped: I think this one needs an entire post by itself. This has to do with Saeyoung being a wizard and April Fool’s DLC stuff. This one is the one I believe in the most.

Nonetheless, I have brought up all the points why I believe Zen could be a prince from Grass. (Also lol Zen hated Jumin for being a trust-fund kid, but he could be a divine child blessed by god and is a bunny prince lmaoooo).

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger theories #mm #mm theories #cheritz theory #cheritz #cheritzverse #zen #hyun ryu #dandelion wishes brought to you #jieun #jihae #etinos #eddie #eddison #I am losing my goddamn mind #Like I am not the only one seeing this right

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dat-town · 5 months

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you are the knife i turn inside myself (that is love)

Characters: Seunghun & OC (Jieun)

Setting & genre: angst, hurt/comfort, set in the world of Save Me Kill Me MV

Summary: Jieun had always been an enigma. Yet, Seunghun can’t stop loving her.

Warnings: mentions of suicide (Yonghee’s), past attempted suicide (MC), bullying, parents’ divorce and neglectful behaviour (MC’s), deceased parents (Seunghun’s), academic pressure, depression (MC’s), therapy ‒ if any of these topics are triggering for you, please don’t interact with the fic. if you would like to know what to expect under any warning beforehand, feel free to send me an ask

International suicide hotline: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

Words: 6k

Author’s note: it’s a spin-off to in your eyes i see another me, for my convenience I named the previous reader, as Jinah. I don’t think it’s a must to read it but it gives more context. Heavily inspired by the CIX story films and Save Me Kill Me MV, so the boys’ characters resemble that more than their idol personality. This story is heavily Seunghun-centric.

Title taken from Kafka, read the meaning here.

For @restlessmaknae, thank you for always being such a supporter, for introducing me to new music (and groups) and for fangirling with me over fictional characters or real people in general. I hope next year you find a place where they appreciate you the way you deserve it and that it will be a better one health-wise. I wish you more (kpop) concerts, travel experiences and happiness! love you <3

Seunghun couldn't tell when exactly he fell in love with Jieun. Was it love at first sight? The way her fringe had fallen into her dark eyes, the fierce fire in them, the way she had looked at him like everything was a challenge ever since the first day of high school? Or was it much later when she had held his trembling hand during his mother's funeral?

Seunghun wasn't sure but he knew one thing: he didn't remember how it was to not be in love with her. That's why it hurt when he started to notice her building up walls, acting weird and hanging out with Byounggon more. The boy told himself he wasn't jealous, he had nothing against the other guy after all, but lying could only take him that far.

Then his whole world turned upside down when it turned out that Jieun had a twin who pretended to be her while she was in a hospital. In a coma. Because of attempted suicide.

It was like an ice cold shower because Seunghun would rather have Jieun be with somebody else than dead. Or in pain. But Jieun was like a rose with sharp thorns, so to love her was like handing her a knife, ready to be hurt.

The smell of the hospital was the same. Seunghun remembered it all too well. It didn't matter that it wasn't the same building or that months had passed. He had spent too much time beside Yonghee's bed, praying that he wouldn't leave like his mom, to forget. And now here he was, right by the unconscious Jieun's side doing the same.

She looked so vulnerable in the hospital bed, all pale and put on machines that kept her alive. So unlike how she really was: wild and lively like ember among ash. Whenever Seunghun came to visit, his heart sank at the sight and he couldn't help checking the heart monitor just to make sure. Hoping that one of these days it would be different, that she would open her eyes and everything would be okay. What a wishful thinking but it's not like he had anything better to do.

"Your sister comes back from the UK tomorrow. You should see Byounggon, he's like an excited puppy," he recited, sitting on the uncomfortable metal chair next to Jieun's bed. He didn't believe she heard him but the nurses told him it could help, so he did his best. It made it feel less weird too, just being there, silent, watching her sleep. Like this, he could pretend they were gossiping, like she could chuckle anytime soon and call him out on his bullshit when he exaggerated. Not this time though; ever since Jinah notified them that she had finished all her final exams and was heading back to Seoul for the summer, Byounggon was restless. "How long do you think it will take them to get together officially? We all saw how they looked at each other and long distance can't be an excuse now."

Honestly, given Jieun's and Byounggon's arguing history, Seunghun didn't think the girl would have been thrilled to know that her twin got so close with the guy, but he would have rather taken her frustration than her silence at this point. He would have given anything for her to wake up. Maybe he was selfish but he wasn't ready to lose her too. Too many good people had left them last year.

"I miss you," he whispered, toying with a loose thread of her thin duvet. The realization wasn't sudden but his confession was. It tasted bittersweet on his tongue or like sour candy.

Seunghun gulped while watching Jieun's porcelain face, her dark lashes and listened to the rhythmical beeps of the machine beside her. Nothing even stirred. Gently, he reached out to take her hand in his, so cold against his sweaty palms, so still and unlike her. Jieun wasn't fond of public displays of affection after all. He sometimes got away with a brief hug or nudge on the shoulder, but Jieun was often quick to pull away. But she was like that with everybody, so Seunghun didn't take it to heart.

He squeezed her hand softly, suddenly nervous at being so daring, but naively he hoped that maybe the cliché things from dramas would turn out to be true for once. But no, even as he stood up to leave and let go of her pale hands, the heart monitor's beeps remained steady.

With Jinah back in town, they had one more person at those Saturday hang outs Hyunsuk liked to call movie nights in honour of the film club they used to be a part of.

Eventually all of them had graduated, even Byounggon and Jinyoung had managed to do so without having to retake the senior year. Seunghun wasn't sure it would have happened without Jinah. Sure, her lying to them and impersonating her sister had been morally wrong but with her around they had all gotten a new perspective: that they all had something to live for and none of the people who had left them would have wanted them to feel otherwise. At first, Seunghun had thought that it had been naive to think so, so unlike Jieun, but then he had gotten to know about her in the hospital and realized that maybe it had been their pessimistic mindset of theirs all along that had pushed the girl to the edge.

Hyunsuk and Byeol had gotten into the same college, sociology majors – she had wanted to study that and he hadn't known what else to do –, and it was cute how they lived their campus romance. Jinyoung had started working in a coffee shop and whenever they visited him, female customers were making heart eyes at him. Byounggon had gotten a job at a convenience store and often took night shifts because he had always been a night owl (and because with the timezone difference, this way he could talk more with Jinah), but with her back in time, it was most likely up to change.

And Seunghun? He had taken on a few children's dance classes to teach and was studying for the civil worker exam. With house bills to pay he couldn't allow himself to dream big. With all of them pressed up against each other on a couch, watching a movie, he was already paying his dream coins thinking of Jieun – that she would make faces but like this anyway –, wishing she was there.

It was almost the end of the visiting hours when Seunghun woke up. He didn't mean to fall asleep over Jieun's hospital bed, arms folded like a pillow but he was up late learning a new choreography. He loved the lack of crushing thoughts when he was dancing, the soreness in his muscles and the beats of music the only thing he was aware of. No what ifs or guilt or anxiousness, just dance. Except when Jieun had been watching him dance before because then his thoughts had been all about her.

The boy startled and pulled back, scooting back in his chair. He yawned as he rubbed his eyes. Then he froze, eyes widening.

Jieun was watching him.

Her eyes were misty and unfocused but she was awake. Seunghun stood up so vehemently that he almost knocked his chair back. Her name was a prayer of gratitude as he called it. The soft sound made the girl focus on him. Breathing through the plastic mask over her face, heartbeat measured by the wires put on her body, white hospital grown over her pale skin, Jieun seemed like a stranger but her eyes, they were still the same: sad but with fire in them.

Seunghun held his breath while a single drop of tear rolled down Jieun's temple, then she closed her eyes again right before the nurses arrived.

Seunghun was sent out while the doctors and nurses ran a million tests on the girl. He called Jinah and wrote in the group chat but he didn't know what else to do. He was pacing, walking up and down the corridor and while this was what he was waiting for, for her to wake up, it was also nerve-wrecking.

"How is she?" Seunghun ran up to the nurse who just came out of the room.

"Better than expected. But I can't tell you the details. Only family members are entitled to know medical details."

It left a sharp feeling in Seunghun's gut after spending in the hospital hours every week, but he wasn't surprised. He needed the family's permission to be able to visit too, so he didn't push it.

"Can I see her?" He asked instead, but the nurse looked at him uncertainly, with pity.

"I'm sorry but… the patient specifically said she doesn't want you to see her like that. Nobody apart from her family actually," she bobbed her head apologetically before hurrying away, leaving the boy behind.

Disheartened, Seunghun sank down onto the row of uncomfortable plastic chairs in the corridor and tried not to feel hurt. He knew how proud Jieun was, how much she hated to show weakness to others. He should have expected it, but it still stung.

He didn't know how much time had passed by the time the doctors and rest of the nurses left or when Jinah and Byounggon arrived. He just sat there, waiting, waiting. He wasn’t sure what for, not anymore.

Jinah told all of them that according to the doctors Jieun would make full recovery. She had to attend rehabilitation because she just spend months not moving and obligatory therapy due to the attempted suicide. She wasn't particularly happy about either of those nor having to repeat her senior year. But at least she didn't look like she was disappointed that she survived or so Jinah said. Not that they talked about it. Jieun wasn’t quite generous with words, not when it came to topics like this.

After a week of various examinations they would let her out of the hospital and she would spend two weeks in the mountains for recovery. Three weeks until Seunghun could see her again. If she was ready then.

"Seunghun, you are a beat behind. Where's your mind at?" His dance teacher's scolding pulled him out of his running thoughts.

Thoughts around and about her. Always her.

"Sorry," he mumbled and tried not to think of Jieun.

But he saw her even when he closed his eyes.

Jieun was alive and awake yet she had never felt farther. Seunghun's messages went unread on her phone and he only knew what was happening to her from Jinah. It felt wrong. Weren't they supposed to be best friends? When had it all gone wrong?

When she had jumped? Or when Yonghee had done?

Or when he had fallen in love?

Seunghun felt like she was slipping through his fingers like sand. It was almost like he was losing her all over again. For real, this time.

People said that it was natural to drift apart with your friends after school, once you didn't see each other every day, but he couldn't let go. He knew it wasn't about him graduating. Jieun was avoiding him. Seunghun told himself that she must have needed time. She was one of the strongest people he knew and she hated when she was seen as weak or vulnerable, she must have resented that he had been with her in the hospital. But how could he have not? At least he had been close to her that way.

The day after Jieun got back from the mountains, Seunghun got a text in the middle of his teens class. It was one simple message:

Can we meet?

His heart thrummed like a traitor when he saw it. He was sweaty and tired, but he wouldn't have missed out on the opportunity.

They agreed to meet at the park they often hung out later that night. Seunghun was more nervous than he would have liked to admit. His hands got clammy again after taking a quick shower and water droplets were still falling from his hair when he jumped on the bus. He was drumming on his knees to the rhythm of his heart, a jumpy little dance.

He didn't know what to expect. After months of not talking to Jieun, he wasn't sure. After her not wanting him to see her, he got even more uncertain. He kept replaying their last conversation. The one Jinah had confirmed wasn't with her. The way Jieun had smiled at him, nudged him playfully and stolen his fries. It had been painfully normal. He had used to beat himself up over not noticing the signs but all of them had been a mess after what had happened with Yonghee and Seunghun had been busy with his mother's funeral too. There had been a new norm after that, nothing had been the same, so nothing had felt out of the ordinary. Nothing had felt like ‘Yonghee all over again’.

Jieun was already there when he got to the park. She sat on a bench with her long hair falling onto her shoulders, moonlight shining on her fair skin beautifully. She wore her signature eyeliner and black nail polish which reminded Seunghun of times before she got to the hospital where she was pale and bare faced, looking young, innocent and so so fragile. Seeing her again like this knocked the air out of the boy.

"Hey," she looked up, straightening her spine a bit once she was aware of his presence. The small movement didn't sit well with Seunghun. They were closer than to act differently around each other… Or so he thought they were.

"Hey," he echoed and took the seat next to her, his hands gripping on the edge of the bench. It felt unreal, being so close to her again, and she was awake, warm and real. "You… you look better."

It was a clumsy compliment but Seunghun knew Jieun would have never let him get away with calling her pretty or something like that. She didn't like that and the boy never knew why but according to Jinah they were always compared based on their academics and looks too. Early signs of Jieun's rebellion came with her going against what their parents would have liked to see her as: the ideal, well-behaving, perfect little angel.

"Better than half-dead in the hospital? Jeez, thanks," the girl snorted and her tone made Seunghun wince. Joking with her almost dying wasn't funny to him. He didn't say anything though, so silence embraced them for an uncomfortable moment.

"I'm sorry," Jieun sighed eventually and she sounded sincere.

Seunghun wasn't sure why she apologized though. For the insensitive joke? For ignoring his messages? For not letting him visit her in the hospital once she was awake? Or for the reason she had been at the hospital in the first place? Nevertheless, Seunghun shook his head, not wanting her to blame herself.

"Don't be."

"I am," she insisted, her eyes intense when their gazes met. "I never wanted to hurt you."

The boy sucked in a breath.

He was at fault too: he cared too much. But he couldn't say it was okay nor he could say he wasn't hurt. He was so damn confused at the same time as he was just happy to have her back. Because she was back, right? She wouldn't disappear like that again?

He wanted to ask. He wanted to beg even though he didn't have the right to tell her what to do. He wanted her to stay, but they didn't talk about it, about the elephant in the room, since everything was still so fragile.

Instead Seunghun looked into her deep dark night of her eyes and smiled.

"I missed you," he said.

Stay with me, he wished.

"I missed you, too," she said with the smallest of genuine smiles in the corner of her mouth.

For then, it was enough.

Admittedly, Seunghun had feared that Jieun wanted to meet because she would have preferred to cut ties with him, that it would have been a goodbye, maybe her moving away or just trying to start a new life. He was terribly relieved when it turned out that she just didn't want to apologize over messages for being distant ever since she woke up. She just needed time and space and she didn't like the idea of him wasting his time beside her hospital bed like he had done with Yonghee, too. He wouldn't have called it a waste of time though, he'd had nothing better to do and he had wanted to be there for them. Since he hadn’t been able to help, this was something he could have at least done. But convincing Jieun something like this was a lost cause and he didn't want to argue. A part of him just wanted things to go back as they were but another part of him, the one that wasn't a coward, wanted to be mature about it and talk it through. But he was afraid Jieun would put her walls up and shut him out then and he didn't want to lose her. He knew how much she disliked that therapy already that she had to attend for a year.

So Seunghun did the next best thing he could think of: making sure Jieun had reasons to live. He started writing a list, a list that he hoped would never end, of things that he knew she wanted to do, achieve or see. Be it a band concert, a trip to Gangnueng or just a choker she bookmarked on her phone. He knew her well and long enough to easily come up with a dozen list items but the hardest part was being smooth enough at delivering these that Jieun wouldn't call him out on it.

Like when they were out late again one night and he thought using that excuse that he was hungry would be enough to suppress her doubts.

"It's just so random," she grumbled when he told her dinner would be on him. It wasn't even anything fancy, just bibimbap that she always loved.

"I wanted to take you out from my first paycheck but you weren't awake then, so here we are," he echoed the practiced explanation. Technically it wasn't even a lie, he had wanted to do that. But now he had one more reason to.

When they crossed an item off his unwritten list, Seunghun added two more points in its place. With time, it turned into a little bucket list about things he wanted to do with her. Hyunsuk teased him that it was almost like he was planning dates for them and Seunghun had to make him promise not to call them dates out loud in front of Jieun. So what if he wanted to try out the new bingsu place with her or watch falling stars together or discover old record stores? He just wanted to be with her.

He knew it was only a matter of time that Jieun noticed the pattern and actually said something about it and then it would end. Seunghun guessed she kind of already knew, she just entertained him by letting him throw in a new idea for every weekend. Sometimes she asked if he shouldn't have studied instead but eventually let him be after listening to his nonsense excuses like how taking a break would fuel his productivity eventually.

Seunghun thought he could act like nothing had happened. Because it seemed like this was what Jieun wanted.

But sometimes he just couldn't.

"Jinah told us that you went to a psychologist," he said quietly after they visited Yonghee and his steps halted when Jieun fell behind.

"She shouldn't have. She had no right," she snapped, sounding both cold and angry at the same time, brushing past him, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

It was exactly what Seunghun wanted to avoid, but the cat was already out of the bag, so he didn’t want it to be an affair to brush off. He caught up with the girl, grabbing her wrist just temporarily to stop her and slip in front of her vision.

"You could have told me," he added, quiet and gentle, and Jieun's anger seemed to fade. She always seemed to soften just a bit when it came to him. Maybe that was also a reason why he fell for her. Because she made him feel special.

"You were struggling already because of your mom on top of what happened with Yonghee," she reasoned and Seunghun wished that she would have been more selfish than that. How could she have thought that her struggles would have been too much on top of everything as if she mattered less to him?

The boy sighed, shaking his head.

"That's not the only reason," he argued because he knew her and she respected him enough not to deny.

"That's not the only reason," she agreed, keeping eye contact. Brave, brave Jieun, why was she so afraid of showing vulnerability as if it was a weakness? Didn't she know that he wouldn't have thought less of her because of something like that?

"Can you tell me now? What happened? I would have never thought that you…" Seunghun wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence and it was probably the worst timing and not the best location either. But at least the streets were vacant and they were the only people under this alcove. The stars would keep their secrets.

"I wanted to know how Yonghee felt," Jieun shrugged, trying to play it off but Seunghun saw the nervousness in her movements, the way she put her weight from one leg to the other. “Was he scared? Was it fast? Did it hurt? Maybe if it was fast and painless, it would be easier to accept it.”

Seunghun imagined her walking over the bridge, watching the river rush by underneath her and thinking of Yonghee. Of the boy with the gentlest soul and all those bruises on his fair skin. He imagined her screaming and reckless, finding comfort in the dark and the waves. The impact of her jump held magnitudes. It could never be fast and painless, not for those who loved them.

“Do you know what was the last thing I told him?” Jieun asked but Seunghun didn’t answer.

How could he have known when she had never told him? What he knew was that she had gotten into an argument with Yonghee not much before he had left them. But that was nothing new, Jieun had got into her fair share of arguments with all of them, especially Byounggon, because she was like an ember, fierce and restless. Yonghee had known this, he had known that her words were sometimes harsher than she intended.

“I called him a coward. I told him he was weak. That if he wasn’t going to stand up for himself, it’s like he’s letting them kill him,” Jieun’s lips trembled and she looked away, her voice getting breathy. “We were his safe space and I made him feel like he was a disappointment. I…”

A sob escaped her. It was so sudden that Seunghun didn’t see it coming. He had never seen Jieun cry. Not at Yonghee’s funeral, not when she had broken her arm trying a skateboarding trick in their freshman year. Yet, it was like an instinct: winding his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace. He half-expected her to push him away, to build up the walls once again just to prove that she was strong and independent. But maybe, finally she knew that from time to time it was okay to be vulnerable, with the right people it wasn’t a bad thing.

“I… What if that was the last straw? What if it was like I pushed him over the edge?” She sobbed into his shirt and he held her tighter as if he could keep her together as she was spiralling down. He had no idea she held so much guilt and grief inside.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered into her hair and murmured other reassuring words while storing her back. Yes, they were all bystanders and maybe they could have offered help, could have pushed more but Yonghee had loved them and he insisted that he was okay. There was no way they could have known what had been going on behind his smiles.

Jieun cried for a long time. Years worth of tears dried up on Seunghun’s white tee as she pulled back and wiped away the rest from her cheeks.

“Shit. I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you,” she sighed, her voice raspy from all that crying and the boy practically saw her build up her walls level by level as she composed her facial expressions and wiped away her smudged makeup. She was mentally running away, so the boy told her the only words he thought that could stop her.

"Jieun... you are the strongest person I know."

The girl blinked at him in disbelief, his reflection clear in her shiny eyes.

"Do you really still think that?" She asked ironically with the certainty of someone ragged and patched up, scars from her fall still fading into her pale skin. But to him, she had never been broken.

"Yeah, I really do," Seunghun nodded, convinced and genuine.

She had never looked stronger.

Seunghun was hovering over his textbooks in the pleasant warmth the coffee shop where Jinyoung worked provided when somebody stopped by his table. His first thought was the barista boy but the mellow female voice that greeted him proved him wrong. Even after months of knowing Jinah, sometimes the striking similarity of the twins still surprised him. Most likely because he had spent years without knowing about the other girl's existence. But now that he knew and the girl stopped pretending to be Jieun, it was also painfully obvious in just how many subtle ways they were different. It wasn't just about the lack of eyeliner – which Byounggon had noticed since day one –, but the way they styled their hair, the way they dressed or the way they talked. There was that warm smile on Jinah's face too that Jieun so rarely showed. Looking back it was impossible to not tell them apart.

"Hi, how's studying?" She asked, sounding sincerely curious as her fingers intertwined over her iced frappé.

"As okay as it can get," the boy shrugged, straightening his back, using her presence as an excuse to focus on something else other than the material. "And what are you doing here?"

"Just getting coffee while I wait for Gon to finish his shift," she explained and glanced at her watch, checking the time, before pointing at the chair across from Seunghun. "Can I join you until then?"

"Sure," the boy nodded, trying not to show any lingering awkwardness that remained from the time when she had been pretending to be Jieun. He wasn't angry at her anymore, he understood her reason no matter how wild it was but he still couldn't forget the confusion he had felt when he had thought he had been starting to lose Jieun to Byounggon only to realize that it hadn’t been her to begin with.

Small talk with Jinah wasn't as awkward as he thought though. He asked her about how she was holding up in the Korean summer weather and told her about his upcoming civil servant exam. Only when they seemed to run out of easy topics like that did she bring up her sister.

"Did Jieun tell you anything about Gon and me?" She asked, fidgeting with her napkin.

Seunghun furrowed his eyebrows. Why would they have talked about them? Was something up? Should he have known something? He thought things were going well.

"Uhm, no. Why?"

Jinah seemed a bit uncertain at the outright question. She was probably embarrassed to bring it up herself.

"She doesn't really like him, huh?" She whispered, tapping her nails against the glass. "And it's not like I need her approval but... she's still my sister, you know."

Well, Seunghun didn't know. He didn't have any siblings and up until last year he had no idea Jieun had. But after getting to know Jinah and their close bond with her twin despite being separated for years, he thought he understood why she felt that way.

"Jieun doesn't hate Byounggon or anything like that. They are just too similar in a way," he told her eventually, thinking of how vocal they both could be about their opinions, how fierce they could fight for their loved ones or how reckless they could be if they thought it was the right thing to do. They had similar enough personalities to clash because neither of them liked to be proven wrong... or seen vulnerable. They were the lone wolves that could lead packs. "Maybe the same reason why she doesn't think she is fit for happiness is why she would prefer if you stayed away from him."

Jieun was good at holding grudges but the one she forgave the hardest was herself. As if she didn't deserve it just because she made some honest-to-god mistakes.

"The same way she stays away from you?" Jinah asked and Seunghun's eyes widened, his ears on fire.

"Did she–"

"She didn't need to say anything, but I can tell that she is guarded whenever it's about you. She cares about you, a lot, but she doesn't want others to know," Jinah interrupted him before he could have asked and yeah, that sounded very much like Jieun. "While I was pretending to be her, I heard girls whispering that she didn't deserve you. That's also probably why she had 'bitch' written over her locker and who knows what else happened to her that made her think it would be a bad idea to… let you closer, I guess."

Seunghun hummed, more to himself than to her, his hands in fists, knuckles white in his lap. Was he a bad friend for not knowing about it? For thinking that something so petty couldn't get to Jieun?

He wasn't sure he had the right to ask more even if Jinah knew more, so he stayed silent and then watched Jinah's face brighten and following her gaze, he saw Byounggon by the door, with the same, small but happy smile on his face. They were so obviously in love that it made Seunghun wonder when it had stopped hurting for them.

Seunghun made a plan. It wasn’t a very thorough or foolproof plan but summer was ending and he really should have stopped being a coward. Life was short and he didn’t want to live with regrets.

He asked Jieun to meet at the playground in the park where they often hang out. This late it was empty and Seunghun was sitting on one of the two metal swings, enjoying the last of the summer breeze in his face. Jieun arrived with soft steps and a not so soft push on his swing. Her laughter that followed his yelp was a chime of bells in the night.

"So what's the occasion?" She asked, straight to the point, taking a seat next to him, not yet sensing his nervousness, so the boy decided it was better to just tip off the bandage.

"I thought we could get away from the city before you go back to school," he said once he was sitting up straight again. He reached into his backpack and handed her a return train ticket to Gangneung, her favorite beach town. She took it with a frown, her surprise morphing into something akin to embarrassment mixed with frustration. Not a good sign but the boy tried not to lose hope as he waited patiently for her to say something.

"You don't have to do this. You don't have to, I don’t know, trying to convince me that life is beautiful or whatever," Jieun scoffed but her fingers grazed across the paper ticket in her hands like it was something precious. Her addition almost sounded like resignation. "I don't want to die."

The not anymore echoed somewhere between them.

"I know. But I want to do these things with you," Seunghun insisted because it wasn't just about that. What happened to her made him realize that life was fragile and fleeting, he didn't have all the time in the world to wait around for a chance with her. He didn't want to procrastinate these plans anymore.

But it wasn't enough for Jieun, it never was. She liked logic and reasons and the truth.

"Why?" She asked firmly and Seunghun felt like he was held at gunpoint.

Because we are best friends sounded like a lie.

"I want to be the one you do these things with," he admitted and it sounded like a confession. He didn't plan it but his voice softened as he looked at her, his eyes were probably full of the longing he tried to hide so hard all these years because he knew she would reject him for a better or worse reason.

"Seunghun…" Jieun sighed and he thought this was it, she knew and she would reject him. Of course, she knew. He wasn't exactly subtle, even Jinah knew and she knew him for the least amount of time. Jieun looked at him and the boy held his breath, waiting for the blow. The invisible gun, aimed at his heart, fired. "You deserve better. I'm such a mess and a bad influence. You deserve a pretty girl who is kind and patient."

It didn't hurt as much as he expected. Jieun said nothing about her feelings or that his were ridiculous or one-sided. She just said what she thought was true because she had no idea how he saw her, how much he could thank her. She might not have been the conventional idea of pretty but to him, she was the prettiest. And bad influence? When it was her who pushed him to believe in himself and keep trying because he could do anything?

"I don't want anybody else," he said because he knew he couldn't have convinced her of anything else. “I like you.”

Jieun abruptly stood up from her swing and leaned over him, grabbing the metal chains to support herself just above his hands, her hair falling around them like a silk curtain and her warm breath fanning over his skin. Seunghun felt heat rush to his cheeks as he kept eye contact and warmth spread through his whole body from the point where her pinky brushed against his fingers.

"Why me?" Jieun asked and it was the most ridiculous question because the boy couldn't have said why it could not have been her.

The girl who had taken the blame when they had gotten caught being late from school because there had been a long queue for the waffle they had bought before classes. The one who had been there for more of his dance recitals than his own parents. The only one who had told him he could do it even when he hadn’t believed it. His safe place. His first love.

"It could never be anybody else," he whispered. He didn't mean it literally and she knew it. There were girls who had approached him before both in class and at the dance academy but he didn't care. To him, there was only Jieun.

"Idiot," she murmured but there was no edge to her words, only fondness. She sat back down on the swing next to him, feet kicking sand.

Seunghun turned to her, watching her expressions closely before he reached for her hand. First, he just tentatively held it, half-expecting Jieun to pull away, like she always did but when she didn't, he intertwined their fingers. They were both holding on.

What was love if not this? Feeling content just by sharing a space, this kind of closeness between two people? Knowing that by being vulnerable with them, they could hurt you and yet you willingly give them the power because you hope they wouldn't? Why? Because they love you too.

#cix angst #cix scenarios #seunghun angst #seunghun scenarios #cix seunghun #stories

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