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auteurdelabre · 5 days

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SO MUCH TO LOSE CHAPTER 11: SNOW

Rating: 18+

words: 15.2k

a/n #1: He's problematic but I love him your honor.

a/n #2: I LOVE Y'ALL for loving this fic! I see your comments and they warm my heart. I get inspired, I start writing the next chapter. I just fuckin love y'all. Please keep up the support here and on my A03.

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REBLOGS, COMMENTS, ENGAGEMENT ARE WHAT KEEP US FIC WRITERS GOING. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT IF YOU ENJOYED THIS.

Chapter 11: Snow

It's one of those nights where the weather feels biting and the snow heavy. The kind of weather that urges you to stay indoors and keep warm.

Luke invited you and Jennifer to the Bison for karaoke earlier but you declined, citing you had other plans.

Plans which involve the cup of tea at your elbow, the paperback in your hands and the fire going in the hearth. You feel cozy and warm and are almost drifting off when a knock at the door sounds.

You slip out from under the blanket over your legs, padding over to the door and opening it a crack to see a familiar face.

"Oh, hey Tommy."

The younger Miller comes in, shaking off the flakes from his shoulder. He lets the cold in, taking his time entering your home before closing the door behind him.

"Hey sorry to be callin' so late."

"Oh it's fine," you insist, suppressing a yawn. "You wanna drink?"

"Nah this'll be quick." Tommy sniffles, the end of his nose red from the cold. "S'about patrols."

"Uh huh?"

Tommy looks curiously uncomfortable, like a child who's been forced to apologize for something he feels he's not responsible for.

"I was thinkin' and you don't have'ta do ‘em anymore. I'll find someone to take over your spot if you need."

Tommy's face holds a myriad of expression, concern being the most predominant. Yours however holds nothing but confusion.

"Who?"

"Uh, was thinkin' of that Jennifer girl," Tommy says, hands deep in his coat pocket. He shifts from foot to foot slowly. "She seemed pretty up for it before. Was gonna head over to her place after this and ask her to take over til we find someone new to train."

This feels like a punch in the gut.

Useless.

The word Joel used when you first began. The word you thought you'd outgrown comes back like a sharp slap across the cheek. Your fingernails dig into the wood frame around the door, clinging to it.

The fire crackles dimly in the background, a soundtrack to your humiliation. Tommy can't look you in the eyes now and you have a feeling you know why. It makes you feel small and pathetic.

"Do you..." The words don't come easily, you have to force them. "Do you think I'm not good enough to be on patrols?"

"No," Tommy answers quickly, eyes wide and head shaking vehemently. "No. Not at all. This is just... I know back when you started you said you didn't really wanna do it. Preferred kitchen duty."

"Yeah."

"And we got some new blood in town lately, so I figured, you know..."

They think I'm useless.

Why else would Tommy be offering this? Stories must have gotten around. Maybe Luke said something in passing about you being stuck with window patrol while they did repairs. Maybe Jennifer was worried that you were being treated poorly.

Maybe Joel doesn't want you as his partner anymore.

That seems the most likely and somehow stings the most. A thought skitters across your brain like an unwelcome insect that makes your face grow cloudy.

"Did Joel tell you I'm bad on patrols or something? Is that the real reason you're here?"

"No. Joel never said you were bad on patrols."

If Tommy's lying he's doing a damn good job of it. Still, it feels like he's editing himself, holding something back.

You swallow, feeling a lump forming there. Part of you thinks it would be so easy to give in and agree to stopping. So easy to never have to put up with Joel's snide remarks or the panic you feel outside the gates.

But there is something in the loss of that challenge that frightens you more. Something that feels worse than useless, it feels like cowardice. Something that feels like The Group wins even if they hold no power over you anymore. You suppose that's what motivates you to address Tommy with what you hope sounds like confidence.

"I'd like to continue with them," you say to the ground at his feet. "If that's okay with you."

"You sure?"

You nod, watching an uneasy smile spread across his handsome features. Like he shouldn't be glad about your response but is.

"All right, then. I'll skip my next stop."

He leaves with a wave and you watch him trudging through the snow out the window, your arms coming to wrap around yourself, but not because of the cold.

///

"Focus and aim."

You grit your teeth before narrowing your eyes and focusing all your attention on the empty tin can sitting on the fence. It's cold today, biting, and the scarf you wear wraps around the lower half of your face.

You hold the weapon as you've been training, aiming with not your right eye but your left.

You inhale, your ears pricked at every sound. All the birds chattering in the trees, the wind that blows the faraway sound of the townspeople. Even Jennifer's light breathing behind you. You make it all go quiet.

"Fuck I can't. It's too loud out here."

"Loud?" Jennifer glances around the two of you, completely alone in the field.

"Yeah. Birds, wind, echoes...."

You shift restlessly before bringing the shotgun back up to your eye level. You want to get this right.

"Think of something calming," Jennifer urges, her eyes falling over your face as you focus. "Something that makes everything go quiet."

Something that makes everything go quiet.

Something calm.

Something that quells the frenetic beating of you heart.

Something that gives you that sweet blissful escape.

You try to think of that first sip of tea after a long day. How it mixes with the honey on your tongue, how you savor it. But it's not enough.

You think of the way running water sounds.

The sensation of sunlight on your bare shoulders.

The soft muzzle of Chesnut.

Joel.

His dark eyes meeting yours when you knelt at his feet that last time. When his hand went to your cheek.

That's when everything felt safe and quiet.

Jennifer seems to notice the steadying of your breathing because she nods approvingly as you let out a slow exhale.

"Now shoot."

You don’t want to think of Joel. He can’t be your safe thought. You force your mind to think of something else.

Making pastries with Ellie.

The sound Chestnut makes when he eats carrots.

Your sisters smile.

You pull the trigger, feeling as the weapon kicks back against your braced shoulder. The sound of the blast makes you wince.

The can doesn't even move a fraction.

"So close!" Jennifer insists, shielding her eyes from the glare of the grey sky on the snow. "It definitely grazed it."

"Won't do much good grazing a clicker," you frown, lowering the weapon. Wind whips stray strands of your hair against your ruddy cheek.

Oh c'mon now," Jennifer says trying to rouse your spirits. "We've been practising for weeks and you're getting so much better."

When Tommy came to offering you the repeat of patrols, you should have taken him up on it. And yet something churned within your guts. Insisted that you continue on with Jennifer's coaching trying to perfect your shooting skills.

Because there is no Chiyo. No protector. No benevolent figure to save you. It's just you now. You and you alone. And months ago the thought would have terrified you into never leaving your home. It would have burst into grateful tears at the thought of being let off the hook.

But something's been changing these last few months, something that gets stronger with every lesson Jennifer gives you, with every gallop atop of Chestnut. Something that whispers: not useless.

You kick at a stray patch of dirty snow, angry at yourself. You want to be better but it's taking so long. You want to feel more confident on patrols but your aim isn't progressing fast enough for you. You want to prove yourself not useless.

"Alright Smiley," Jennifer says slinging a companionable arm around your shoulder. "Let's go have breakfast."

///

Breakfast on cold days is always something warm like eggs or oatmeal with honey. Often there's hot chocolate which you take gratefully between your hands today. You make a note to pack one for patrols in the Thermos you keep at home.

You sit across from Jennifer who is back lit by the morning sun and looks like a goddess. How is Joel not more obvious in his intention for her? He's handsome but he's also at least fifty. He shouldn't be so picky with his personality the way it is.

But then again from what you've seen there's a certain air around Joel wherever he goes. One that has women of all ages smiling shyly and stammering when he's in the vicinity. Once you saw one woman drop an entire bag of yarn when he walked by in town. She didn't notice for a full three minutes.

"So how did baking go with Ellie?"

You're surprised by this question. You'd assumed that the whole baking with Ellie thing was private. You certainly haven't talked about it with anyone.

"Uh, how did-"

"She's going around telling eve ryone at school that she was baking with you," Jennifer laughs. "My friend Rebecca teaches her."

You recall meeting Rebecca a few weeks ago at one of Jennifer's big friendly breakfasts. One where you sat quietly listening to the chatting figures around you, being drawn into the odd conversation but mostly keeping quiet. You never feel quite comfortable around big crowds.

"It was nice," you offer, wrapping your fingers around the warm mug a little tighter.

You have no intention of telling her what actually occurred. You don't want to tell her about the trauma you endured before Jackson City or the pain that Ellie saw reflected in your eyes. Jennifer’s lips curl into a sensuous smile.

"Was Joel there?"

"Yeah, he was around for a bit."

You don't meet her eyes as you say this. And for some reason you don't mention to her that Joel made that second batch of pastries or that he wasn’t rough with how he spoke to you. The whole experience feels too private, too sacred. No matter what, you won't be sharing that information.

"Speaking of which..." Jennifer trails off, nodding her head towards the door of the dining hall. You don't even bother looking over your shoulder; you know that she's referencing Joel.

You try not to look stiff but you are. You're still unsure of how to act around him after everything that happened.

The two of you eat quietly as your mind goes back to that day on Rancher Street. You still don't know how you feel about Joel; you're still perplexed by his actions. One day he hates you the next day he can tolerate you. It's all very confusing and not a little irritating.

"He's staring over here," Jennifer says a short while later, trying not to move her lips when she speaks. "Keeps sneaking looks every few minutes."

You feel a grin spreading over your features as your friend smiles prettily, pretending she doesn't notice her crush. Maybe Joel isn't as thick as you thought and there is hope for the two of them.

Jennifer dabs a bit at the egg on her plate with her toast, her sleeves rolled up to showcase her delicate wrists.

"So, you gonna ask him out?"

"Nah," Jennifer shakes her head before taking a long pull from her coffee mug. "Joel's an old fashioned guy. I can't see him being into that."

It strikes you as humorous that things like old-fashioned men are still a thing. After the world has gone to rot, you're still shocked that certain socially expected norms exist.

"Maybe that's what he needs though," you offer diplomatically. "A kick in the pants from a pretty lady."

"There's plenty else I'd like to do with his pants."

You make a face and the two of you collapse into hushed laughter, tilting over your breakfasts. Jennifer claps a hand over your shoulder in amusement; her laughed ebbing when you flinch at the contact. Her eyes study you a moment before a voice behind you breaks in.

"Mind if I join you two?"

Luke stands looking down at the both of you with a charming smile. His hair is mussed, obviously just woke it up. You're struck with how handsome he is in the early light of the day.

"Course not," you say smiling up at him.

He takes a seat next to Jennifer, his thick-lashed eyes on you.

"Sorry I couldn't make it to practice this morning. Was tired from last night."

"Karaoke at the Bison, right?" Jennifer laughs. "Wish I could have been there to see that. I had to help the ladies with a textile emergency."

"Where were you?" Luke asks, chewing his toast as he stares at you.

"Reading," you admit with a shy glance at your fork. "I like reading in front of the fire in cold weather."

You always have. It's a safety for you in many ways. Curled under a blanket with the fire hissing and your latest paperback in your hands. Something nostalgic and beautiful about the written word surviving everything.

"Hopefully the window we repaired held up in all this snow," Luke offers, glancing over his shoulder out the window. Flakes are falling gently.

"I'm sure it did, you guys are all good at that stuff," you offer kindly. Jennifer watches you and Luke with a look of satisfaction, like Cupid after a successful mission.

"You excited about patrols?" he grins over at you.

"How could I not be? I get to go with Mr. Congeniality," you drop your eyes to your plate when you hear Luke and Jennifer giggle.

You feel buoyed by their laughter, it takes you back to a time in life when you enjoyed making people laugh. Funny cartoons about teachers sketched on lined paper. Giggling behind hands as they were passed between desks.

"With my luck though he'll tell me I'm riding my horse wrong," you joke, encouraged on by their twittering laughter.

"Or hell, maybe I'm breathing wrong," you drop your voice several octaves, adopting Joel's twang. "Too much inhalin' enough exhalin'."

When you don't hear laughter at this you look up from your eggs to see that both Luke and Jennifer have started to grimace, looking over your shoulder.

"Just got the word that we gotta head out early today."

Fuck.

Your shoulders go to your ears in embarrassment as you feel Joel's tall body standing behind you.

"Looks like there's gonna be heavy snow this afternoon," Joel's rumbling baritone informs you the back of your head.

"Okay," you tell him, shooting only a brief look at him over your shoulder before dropping your eyes back to your eggs because you're too humiliated to completely turn around. "I'll join you when we're done breakfast."

You need a few minutes to collect yourself. You know Joel just heard everything. You need to regroup, maybe get advice from Jennifer on how to handle this.

"No time to wait," Joel insists, his tone flat. "S'go."

You feel Luke and Jennifer staring at you during this exchange and you clench your jaw tightly in irritation.

"I'll bus your tray," Jennifer offers quietly across from you. "You go on."

You shoot her a grateful look, nodding as you stand. Joel is waiting there at your back, heavy eyes staring at you as you pull your jacket on. He's already got the backpack on, a gun strapped to him.

You follow him wordlessly out the dining hall and towards the front gates where Midnight and Chestnut wait for you. Joel gives you the second gun, waiting for you to throw it over your shoulder before watching you hoist yourself up on Chestnut.

"You ok there?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" You shoot back.

Fuck, he's already starting in on you. Probably pissed off since he caught you mocking him. He says nothing in response as he pulls himself up on Midnight, throwing a long leg over the horse's black coat.

You give a wave to Hank before the gates are opened and you and Joel ride out. As always you follow his lead, eyes on the horizon as Tommy's words full your head.

Raiders. Be more careful.

It would be just your luck to run into them. Or clickers. The thought makes you feel nauseated. You're still not a good enough shot. Grazing isn't killing.

"Did Tommy tell you about-"

"The Raiders? Yeah."

He doesn't offer more than that.

Joel is quiet today, maybe even thoughtful. He doesn't speak to you on the way out to Teton Village but it's not with that same hostility that usually surrounds him. It's just regular quiet. He's not rude, but he's not friendly either. If the two of you were even acquaintances you'd think he was miffed with you. As it is the two of you travel on in silence until Teton.

It’s your week to check the traps and despite your fears, you feel more confident with a bit of firearms training from Jennifer. Despite this you find yourself sticking closer to Joel during this walk into the forest.

You circle the tall trees, jacket catching on a thick gnarled tree trunk before you tug it off. Joel doesn't angrily chastise you when you trip over a wet patch because of it and bump into his back. He just goes rigid, waiting for you to right yourself before continuing on.

“Watch your step.”

Your shotgun is out, aimed at whatever you hear in the underbrush which just turns out to be birds. Snow begins, dusting your shoulders as the two of you head back to the tied horses. The traps were empty, a good and bad sign all in one.

You’re paranoid as you travel to the outpost, your eyes scanning the horizon and the passing landmarks looking for anything that could be a danger. Clicker. Person. Your talks with Ellie of The Group have you suffering from nightmares lately and that bleeds into your day, making you convinced you can see a shock of red hair or a hyena-like female laugh.

But that’s impossible.

You travel in tense silence all the way to Teton Village. The snow crunches under the hooves of the horses and you're thankful that the snow has taken a reprieve, leaving it just grey and blustery.

Soon enough you are at the village, about to do your normal rounds of the perimeter. You're confused when Joel leads you towards outpost building instead. You tie up the horses across the street and down a few houses, much to your increasing confusion.

The wood creaks under your boots as the two of you make your way up to the outpost. You stop in front of the door, hand going to the lock. His voice is at your back, quiet. You feel him standing close behind you, likely waiting for you to make a mistake.

"You remember the new code?"

"Mhm."

You're pleased with yourself when you do and it unlocks without issue. You make your way inside, smiling to yourself as you kick off the excess snow from your boots and head towards the storage room.

Joel is close behind you and memories of the lingering moments you shared inside this very room make themselves known when you feel yourself slick between your legs. You hate yourself for it just a bit, the way your body betrays you.

"Gonna check that the window's holdin' up. You handle the log book."

You nod, going to the waiting page and scribbling your names inside along with the time. Joel makes his way up the creaking steps, and you watch as his long legs carry him. After a moment you hear some hammering and assume that there are a few things in need of minor repair or additional reinforcement.

You take this moment to scan some of the past entries, the most recent from the last group who was in here a few days ago.

Repairs look great. Thanks.

You take a minute to flip back, curious to see old passages from former patrols. You never really took the time to do so. Varieties of handwriting and printing fill some of the pages.

Donated Blankets (x4), jerky rations replaced (x4), water bottles (x4), matches (x1 box). HTH’s do not work here. Too much static. Nails and hammers needed for repair to library flooring.

Cramped writing, sprawling letters, so distinct and so personal. You keep flipping until you come upon last December 25th’s entry.

All I want for Christmas is to not be living in the apocalypse.

You smirk and turn the page back, finding the same handwriting a few months prior.

Who wants to go skiing?

Your smirk turns into a small giggle before you turn back to almost two years ago, eyes alighting on a longer entry that wipes the amusement from your face.

Infectected spotted near Weston’s Pharmacy during AM patrol. One woman; Bloater, one child; Stalker. Both shot and killed. No injuries to patrol members.

You wince as you read this just as Joel trudges down the steps. He must be finished with repairs. You watch as he grabs some of the feed for the horses from his bag and leaves without saying a word. He reappears moments later, shaking the snow irritated from his broad shoulders.

"S'really comin' down,” he murmurs as the two of you take your places at the table. He pushes your sandwich and thermos towards you across the table, sitting in the opposite chair and sighing.

"I like the snow," you murmur as you chew thoughtfully, eyes turned skyward out the window.

"Won't like it when we have to ride back in it," Joel huffs between bites. He chews aggressively as if the universe conjured up the snow just to personally upset him.

He's right though, riding back in it doesn't seem very fun. Lunch is a quick thing, both of you quiet before Joel tosses back a swig of his coffee and tells you he's going to fix up some loose boards upstairs.

You don't offer to help because you know there's not a chance he'll want it. Besides, your job is to be on lookout when he does repairs in case the sound draws attention. You finish your lunch, draining your thermos of its hot chocolate. You’re feeling the chill extra strong today.

Joel reappears not too long after hoisting his gun over his back. You look at him in curiosity because Joel looks like he's getting himself ready to leave.

"You stay here, understand? Have your gun out, go stand watch."

Everything in you goes rigid. Years of carefully anticipating the changing moods of your captors gives you a sixth sense, like rumbling thunder announcing a storm.

Danger.

"Why?"

"I'm gonna go check out the other buildings on foot," he explains in a quiet rasp. "See if the Raiders rumor was true."

"Okay, I'll come with-"

"No."

His voice is low and sharp, broaching no argument. You stare at him, gaze traveling between his endless eyes, blinking rapidly a moment.

"I need you here coverin' me from that window"

He points to the southern window you were posted at last time. You nod at first before something stops you. You're not good with a gun, not yet. Especially at far distances. And Joel knows it.

You don't mention this fact. Joel knows better than anyone that your shooting skills leave much to be desired. This is busy work.

"But what if something happens to you?"

Joel's eyes sweep your face.

"You're gonna hide." Joel starts for the bottom of the stairs, hand on the dusty railing. "Come with me."

You follow him quietly, both sets of boots pounding the old wood steps as he leads you to one of the smaller rooms you don't often visit.

It's cramped with peeling wallpaper and extra lumber and nails. It must be the storage room for such things. You notice the cord hanging from the center of the ceiling.

Joel reaches up and grabs hold of it, tugging until it opens the hatch that lets down a wooden ladder. It's like the attic from your house when you were a kid.

"Reinforced it after the window last week so I know it's sturdy," Joel informs you, dragging a thumb along the ladders edge. "You hear anything that sounds like yelling or guns n' you climb up this ladder and use the rope to pull it up after you."

You tell yourself to be calm. That this won't happen. That Joel is an excellent shot. But you've seen too much in this world to live in that fantasy.

"What if they find it?"

"You keep quiet and blow their fucking head off when they climb up. It's your best option.... Your only option."

"Why wouldn't I go to the horses? Escape that way?"

"If I'm dead, trust me you won't be able to outrun ‘em. Your best bet is to lay low until a search party comes the next day."

"Okay."

"I'm gonna leave this pulled down.”

Then he's going downstairs again, making sure you know exactly where to stand at the window so that you're covered by the majority of the shutters' frame. You nod, listening intently as you gaze at him. The thick chord of his neck, the way his shoulders make him look formidable.

Is this the last time you'll ever see Joel Miller alive?

You don't like that sensation that accompanies such a concept. Ellie would be without a father. The girl has already been through enough.

"But nothing will happen, right?"

Joel pauses, dark eyes scanning your face. He must see something in it because his voice holds no malice.

"Nothing bad will happen."

You don't believe him. You don't like the way his eyes dart over your face, like he's trying to look for something.

"Do you understand everything I've told you?"

You nod.

"If you hear a gunshot you climb up into that attic."

"But-"

"Say it," Joel commands, the patience is slowly ebbing from his voice.

"Okay."

"You'll do what I say?"

"Yes. If I hear a gunshot or a scream I'll go up to the attic. I'll be quiet and if I have to I'll shoot them when they come up the ladder. Otherwise I wait for the search party."

"Good girl."

He says it brusquely as he brushes past you and down the stairs. You don't have time to ask him anything else because he's already at the front door.

He casts one look at you over his shoulder, confusing you with his stare before the door shuts behind him.

And now you’re alone in this crumbling building. A sitting duck if Joel is captured or worse, killed.

You wanted to stay on patrols. You wanted this you fucking fool.

You ready yourself at the window, watching as the tall figure of Joel makes his way through the snow. His curls float around his head in the wind and you feel a pang of anxiety at the thought of them splattered with his blood.

You watch the surrounding area for any movement and for once you think this is what you need to be doing. This is what you're good at. This is what you trained for in all those years entering abandoned buildings and scouring old barns for The Group.

You can keep Joel safe.

There is no movement aside from his tall frame, and yet you still keep your gun raised, cocked and ready should you need it to be used. The snow makes it difficult though. Flakes are getting heavy and puffy, making it hard, but not impossible, to track Joel.

You watch his long muscled legs work their way across the terrain, gun raised, body poised for attack. You marvel at how even from where you watch him high above he still gives a feeling of protector, of big. Of safe.

Soon enough Joel's frame moves behind the pharmacy, out of your eye line and you exhale slowly.

He didn't say where he was going or for how long. An easy oversight, but in moments like this it feels unforgivable.

Ten minutes go by.

Then twenty.

Then thirty.

As you watch out the window with your gun poised you can't help but marvel at how quickly snow is blanketing the ground. Joel's tracks in the snow have long been covered up.

When lightning steals across the sky and thunder booms loudly you feel it in your bones.

Thundersnow.

You’d heard some of the Wyoming long timers around town mention it at the Bison a few weeks back, but you’ve never actually witnessed it yourself. It’s surreal to see the snow drifting heavily as lightning cracks again.

The wind is picked up as well, whipping around the nearby trees. And yet you stand there like a statue, your gun aimed. It's only when you hear the distant whinny of one of the horses that you feel your heart leap to your throat.

Chestnut. Midnight.

In this weather they'll be suffering. Maybe even killed. You'd been so distracted by keeping vigilant over Joel that you hadn't even cast a second thought to them. Your body instinctively steps back from the window, eyes scanning over your shoulder.

He told you not to move.

But he didn't know it was going to be a blizzard like this.

You wrap the scarf around your neck and lower half of your face, stumbling out the door with your gun in front of you. You’ll be fast. You’ll bring the horses in and be back to the window before Joel ever realizes.

You sink into the snow easily; it comes just above your mid-calf over your boots. And it doesn't show signs of stopping any soon. It's so high that it immediately begins to seep into your boots, wetting your socks.

You feel as if you're waiting through quicksand. But it doesn't stop you and your dogged pursuit to reach the two animals huddled together under the tree. They shake aggressively, trying to avoid the falling flakes.

Snow blankets the two along their back and their manes. You watch Midnight give a particularly aggressive jerk of his head only to have more flakes accumulate from the swollen sky above. They morph into icy rain pelting down the back of your neck, your cheeks and your shoulders.

The horses are pulling at their reins and rearing up on their back legs as you approach.

"It's okay," you try to soothe, likely unheard over the storm. You reach your hand towards Chestnut’s bridle but he rears back at the clap of lightning that hits the sky at the same time.

“Chestnut it’s me! Calm down boy!”

You nearly scream when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You spin, aiming your gun shakily in front of you.

"S'me," the figure informs you. He pulls down his dark scarf and Joel's irritated expression is revealed.

"You scared me."

He doesn't answer this, simply grabs Midnight by his bridle and gives a sharp click of his tongue. Midnight struggles at first, but ultimately relents, trailing after Joel like an obedient child.

You quickly untie the slippery reigns from around the tree, attempting to tug at a very frightened Chestnut along. He comes down from his hind legs but his eyes are spooked. You slip in the wet snow, falling to your knees and hissing in pain. You grit your teeth, standing and attempting to pull Chestnut again.

"S'okay," you soothe, pulling him gently. He fights you, head twisting and the lightning cracks the sky. "Chestnut - C'mon-"

A sharp clap of thunder has him trying to pull from your grasp. You cry out as the reign rasps brutally around your knuckles.

"Chestnut! Stop!" You shout, panicking as the horse continues to jerk away from you.

Joel is back, his boots kicking against the deep snow. You feel him brush against your shoulder, large hand covering yours.

"Give 'em here," he grunts, taking the reins from you and tugging forcefully. "C'mon, C'mon, get goin'."

Chestnut whinnies terrified and you back up as his hooves shoot out anxiously. Joel grunts again before his fist jerks the reign brutally.

"Enough!"

Chestnut responds to this, eyes going to Joel and cowering. You watch in amazement as Chestnut bows his head, following after Joel with no more hesitation or defiance.

The three of you head into the outpost building, dripping with wet snow as you enter. Midnight is in the main room staggering at the side. Joel shifts his hand and urges Chestnut to follow, closing the door behind you as you enter.

"Sometimes you gotta be rough to get ‘em to listen," Joel explains, handing the reins off to you. "S'the only way to keep ‘em safe."

You don't know that you agree with that assessment. You unhook the reigns from Chestnut before pressing a soft kiss to his twitching muzzle. You whisper soothing words, waiting for your dear horse to stop his shaking.

"We'll leave ‘em in here for tonight," Joel says to them before looking over at you. You’re shivering, eyes wide. You must look a fright as you cast a wide-eyed look around the room.

“The door is locked right?”

“’Course.”

You both breathe heavily a moment, your eyes on his red cheeks.

"Did you see anything?"

"Nothin'," Joel informs you, shaking the flakes off his shoulder angrily. "Even if there was someone there's no fucking way to see 'em in this mess."

You're still shivering as you nod at him, following him up the windy creaking steps to the large former Library. Joel disappears into the logbook room and appears with a plastic box matches. You stand shivering and watching him kneeling in front of the hearth, using his pocket knife to make kindling and before long a fire begins.

"S'only good thing about this weather," Joel mutters to the hearth. "No one'll see the smoke."

His broad back ripples as he shoulders of his soaked jacket. It lands onto the wood floor with a plop. You watch as he kneels there, urging the flames to lick up into the kindling, blowing gently to get it to catch. You’re hypnotized at his acumen for this, as if he were meant to live out on the land. He loads the dry lumber over the now crackling flame before letting out a tired sigh.

"I told you not to leave."

You swallow, needing him to know that it wasn't insolence or even defiance that made you leave.

"I know, but the horses-"

Joel isn't listening to you; he's loading more wood into the hearth shaking his head in poorly concealed frustration.

"You don't fuckin' listen to me."

"I do so," you insist to the back of his head. "I just didn't today because there was something more important."

He stands, knees cracking and fixes you with a stern look. Just like that it's back to the old dynamic. Him like a dark black blanket over your body. Weighting you down with his effortless dominance

"I had it handled."

"How could I know that? I didn't see you."

"Patrol partners need to trust one another. That's why this ain't workin'."

At his words something clicks in your brain and the answer to your earlier question is so fucking obvious you’re embarrassed you didn’t put two and two together earlier.

"It was you who told Tommy to take me off patrols, wasn't it?"

Joel is silent, jaw set, left thumb and forefinger pressing together so tightly the tips go white.

"You had no fucking right to do that." You sniffle angrily, wrapping your damp jacket around your shoulders. "You go on about trust and you're the one going behind my back trying to get me kicked off."

"You shouldn't be out here," Joel insists. He sucks at his teeth.

"You don't get to say what I do."

"You're here ain't you? Doesn't matter what I say."

"You're such a-"

Joel's eyes flash and his hand is held between you, almost like you're a wild animal he's trying to hold at bay. But you think it’s the opposite.

"Don't," Joel warns voice barely above a whisper. "Don't start that."

Something in his voice terrifies you as much as it enrages you. So when hot tears prick the back of your eyes you're not sure which is the cause.

"Do you just hate me that much, Joel?"

You despise how small your voice sounds. Joel huffs a sigh, eyes closing briefly.

"S'not about that."

"What is it then?"

He just shakes his head and strides away from you towards the log room. You follow at his heels like a needy puppy. You push your soaked hair from your eyes, feeling your wet clothing weighting you down as you pursue him.

"Joel."

He ignores you, long legs carrying him quicker, boots scraping the floor.

"Why don't you want me on patrols?"

He begins to pull down one of the boxes from the shelving ignoring you.

"Answer me, please.”

It's not until you reach out a hand and grab his shoulder that he spins abruptly as if you've burnt him. He doesn't touch you; he just shakes off your hand and fixes you with a level stare that has you stepping back. Your feet slip in your boots and you realize you must look a sight, soaked to the skin, eyes red and chin wobbling.

Joel tilts his neck down, making sure to hold your gaze with his own.

"After all that shit you went through with those people? Why the fuck woul-"

He stops himself, the next word bit back, his eyes on the ground. The silence expands as understanding blooms in your face. You feel your jaw crack, eyes narrowing.

"You spied on me when I was talking to Ellie."

"S'a house, not a fucking football field," Joel sneers. "Sound carries."

Before you can say anything more you shiver. Despite the warmth of the fire in the next room you feel the chill of the damp creeping into your bones. Joel observes this and with a head tilt encourages you to follow him into the storage room.

You find yourself too exhausted to badger him further about patrols. Nothing will change in the next twenty four hours. So you follow in close pursuit, watching as he goes to one of the shelves and pulls out a duffel bag. Inside are two blankets, a few bottles of water and some rations.

"Strip and put this on," Joel says pulling out and then shoving a blanket at you. You take it into your arms gratefully before belatedly hearing what he told you.

Strip?

"Unless you feel like catching a cold. Be my guest," Joel adds when you hesitate. He takes the duffel and heads into another room, slamming the door behind him.

You go into the bathroom, the door creaking shut.

You're completely soaked from head to toe. It feels like you've had a freezing bath. And yet you hesitate a full minute before you realize that if you keep these clothes on there's a very good chance you're going to get seriously ill. And while Jackson City had a lot of amenities. antibiotics are always in short supply.

You strip hurriedly, your fingers shaking with cold. Your hair is squeezed and excess water circles the old sink. The clothing is squeezed as well as you try to wring out as much of the damp as possible.

You think about keeping your panties on because the thought of being completely bare under the blanket around Joel is far too daunting. But then the option of freezing in soaking under things doesn't seem like a better option.

The blanket is warm and when wrapped around you shoulders it hits you mid-calf. If you tuck it between your legs is almost like wearing a toga. You do, wrapping it so that only your arms and bottom of your legs poke out. You have the passing wonder if this is one of the blankets Jennifer made during her times in textiles.

You bring your clothes out with you, padding over barefoot to the large fireplace Joel has already begun stoking. He wears the blanket similar to you, tucked tightly around his broad frame. But one arm is out, the muscles glinting in the warmth of the fire’s glow.

"We don't normally do this," Joel explains, always in teacher mode. "Don't wanna attract attention. But desperate times n' all that."

You hang your clothes over a chair from the supply room and drag it towards the fireplace as Joel's dark eyes dart to see what you're up to.

"I was gonna put ‘em by the fire to dry," you explain. "You want me to wring yours out too?"

"Nah, I'll do mine," Joel replies. There's no snark left, his attention is fixed on the fire that's building there. You’re both just too tired to be prickly with one another.

A quick glance out the window confirms that the snow is still falling. So you're stuck for at least a couple more hours.

Great.

"Fuck that feels good," you say dropping to your knees and holding your palms to the fire. Joel's eyes swim over you before he fixes them on the roaring flames. His eyes are so dark they showcase the bright embers when you glance at them.

Everything is cold and damp. Your feet are numb from the snow and you hiss when the circulation begins in them again. Joel goes to wring out his clothes, bringing them back with another chair and propping it beside yours.

Joel drags the couch close to the fireplace, setting it down with a groan as his knees creak before collapsing onto it with a grunt. It looks more comfortable than kneeling on the floor and so you join him.

You knee brushes his as you take your seat, the fabric of the quilts rasping against one another. You try not to be offended when Joel jerks his knee away from you.

You get it. He doesn't like you. Can't stand to be around you if there's not another person as a buffer. But does he have to be so immature about it? You have a moment of concern when you think of your last buffer, Ellie.

"Will Ellie be okay tonight?"

"Yeah, Tommy'll make sure she is until I get back."

"How does he know when you'll be back?"

"He doesn't." Joel stokes the fire absently with a nearby stick. "When we don't come back at our usual time they'll usually give it a few hours and then come looking for us."

"Usually?"

"With a storm like this? They won't make it far. They'll figure we hit the same and're hunkered down somewhere. If we aren't back by tomorrow afternoon and the snow is clear then they'll send a group out. S'protocol."

"Oh."

The two of you lapse into quiet contemplation as the crackling fire sounds.

The house feels so big and with the sun going down it feels almost frightening. You’ve never been in this place in the dark. You don’t like how open the room is, how many shadows and walls exist. You miss your little home with its plain walls and minimal walls. You fantasize about how a bath would feel so luxurious at this moment.

You sniffle again, burying your face into the blanket a moment to warm it. The fire is definitely helping, but you wish it was bigger and the room less drafty.

Joel isn’t saying anything but he’s not scowling like he usually is when you glance over at him.

"Is Ellie doing any more baking?"

"Nope. Think she's more partial to just eatin'."

“Sounds like her,” you smile before pausing and adding: “Your pastries were good.”

Joel hums a response and emboldened by his openness you continue.

“I didn’t know you baked.”

“I don’t. Just followed the recipe you had on the counter.”

“Oh.”

Joel doesn't try to extend the conversation so you fall silent again as you go back to the floor and move closer to the fire. The flames warm your cheeks and your front. A cool drop of water runs down your spine under the blanket and you shudder.

You kneel a bit closer to the fire and gingerly move your hair over one shoulder, trying to dry it the best you can. As you do you feel the blanket slip down over your back, exposing your neck down to your shoulder blade. You hurriedly pull your quilt back up over your shoulder, heart pounding.

"M'gonna check the horses."

Joel lurches up from the couch, not waiting for your reply. You don't watch him go, finding you don't care to see his sullen expression. You're not sure which is worse, the ‘rude but communicative when needed’ Joel or this strange withdrawn creature that's replaced him.

Joel is gone for a little while. Much longer than it takes to check on the horses, but you don't mind. You like having a bit of quiet to fall under the spell of the flickering flames.

You wonder what Jennifer would think of this, being stuck in an isolated space with Joel overnight.

She'd be in heaven.

You smirk at this, knowing she'd take full advantage of the situation. Probably flutter her lashes and let the blanket slip open ever so slightly, giving Joel a flash of breast before faking modesty. It would work, you're certain of it. Joel strikes you as someone who likes the soft curves of a woman, perhaps because of what Maria said.

You can't wait to return home tomorrow. To have coffee in Jennifer's cheery house and update her on any and all Joel lore you uncover. It won't be much judging by his conversational skills so far. But you will be able to report that Joel Miller has very nice calves. You saw a flash of them when he got up.

Jennifer will have a field day with that information; she probably won't leave her bed for a week.

Joel returns eventually, his eyes refusing to meet yours. He comes back with the remaining two blankets from the duffel, throwing one over your legs. He sits on the far end of the couch, warming himself with the second blanket over himself. You tuck yourself on the other end, the two of you quiet as you watch the fire.

You think about ancient times when all creatures had was fire and an open sky to pass the time. When the air was free of chemicals and the landscape open instead of crowded with infrastructure. You wonder what they would make of your world now. Would they secretly cheer that nature has slowly begun to reclaim its earth?

Time passes and soon enough the sky through the window grows dark and the air grows colder. You start to shiver slightly and Joel adds more lumber to the fire. You think back to last week when you’d all had those brownies to share. You think back to this morning with your hot chocolate.

"Wish I didn't drink all my hot chocolate," you sniff with a sigh as you burrow back on the creaking sofa. You're not saying it for pity, more just to fill the quiet.

"We have some coffee left," Joel offers.

You’re surprised when he moves to grab the Thermos from his bag next to him beside the couch. You can't help but notice how muscular his bare arms are when he does. You take it from him, eyes on his large hand.

"Thanks," you reply, taking a small sip.

Even though you don’t drink coffee often you don't want to waste it. It warms you and the jerky he hands you along with it moments later makes the encroaching hunger fade. Joel takes the Thermos back from you, also taking a ginger sip before twisting on the cap and sighing.

"I miss real coffee."

Joel never talks about the past, not really. Never about his life before this. You've had to stitch his back-story together with patches of information gathered over your time and interactions with Ellie.

So this little glimmer, this tiny piece of him sticks out to you. It rattles in your bones and burrows deep in your brain.

I miss real coffee.

"The stuff they make in the dining hall doesn't do it for you?" You prompt, wanting him to share more, finding that you're desperate for a little more Joel.

"That's not real coffee," Joel scoffs. "That's instant shit. It all is."

You've never had real coffee either so you don't know if the derision is warranted. You’d always been a tea drinker yourself. You watch him slurp back the contents of his thermos while your mind is a million miles away.

Coffee. Joel likes coffee. Real Coffee. Joel drinking coffee. Real Coffee.

Did Joel go to cafes? Did he go to Starbucks and sit reading? Did he drink coffee with silly names and lots of whipped cream? Did women blush and stammer when a young Joel slid by them to grab cream or sugar?

You imagine a world before this one. One where you could have met in a cafe. Bumped into each other as you both reached for a cup. Classic meet cute. Then you remember this is Joel Miller. He would have scowled at you and told you to get your own coffee. The thought amuses you.

Soon enough the combination of the warm drink and the stress of the day gets to you. Your eyes begin to drift shut, your head slowly falling forward before you catch yourself. Joel must notice this because he clears his throat.

“We’ll take turns on watch,” Joel informs you. “You sleep first, I’ll get next. We’ll do four hour switches.”

“Okay.”

You don’t ask why you need to be on watch during a storm. You trust that Joel is right about it. Joel may be an asshole, but he’s an educated one. And so far during everything he has not let you down. He has been rough, he has been unpleasant but he has been there through it all. Joel Miller will protect you. You don’t know why tonight is when you decide this is true, but you do.

You burrow into your blankets, thankful for them. It’s not exactly warm, but it does the job. You still feel a little strange cuddled there completely bare underneath. It makes it hard to get comfortable and fall asleep but you eventually do.

You wake up what feels like no time at all later. Your hair is partially dried and the fire is still going steadily. You blink down your body to see you’ve stretched out on the couch, your feel practically against Joel’s thigh.

He’s staring into the fire, a flask in one hand and the other over your ankle buried under the blanket. You don’t think he even realizes that your foot is there. When you start to shift his hand moves to his thigh, his dark eyes blinking over at you.

“Not been four hours.”

“Tell that to my body,” you say wryly. “Any more coffee left?”

“Nah.”

Between the blankets and the fire you shouldn’t feel this cold, should you? You glance over when you see Joel handing the silver flask out towards you.

“What’s that?”

“Whiskey. It’ll make you feel warm.”

“Where’d you find that?”

“My bag.”

You smile gently before you shift back into a seated position on the couch, wincing at the muscle pull in your neck from sleeping at such an awkward angle. You take the flask with a polite nod of your head.

“Thank you.”

You take the flask from him before bringing it gingerly to your lips. You take a deep pull from it, wincing when the astringent alcohol hits your tongue.

"Strong," you mumble.

But you’re delighted when you feel it scorch a warm trail from your throat all the way to your belly. You take another sip before screwing the top back on. Joel watches this, his features relaxed. You wonder if he isn’t a little drunk.

"How'd he get you outta there?"

His voice is a husky rasp, his mouth barely moving as he murmurs this at you. You take a moment to try and process what he’s asking you.

"Huh? Who?"

"Chi guy,” Joel says taking the flask back from you and taking a long pull. “You were in a group ‘a Raiders. Something tells me they wouldn't just let their best shot and their trusty bait walk off into the sunset together."

He hands the flask back to you and you take another sip. Minutes tick by and you’re not answering his first question, so you suppose Joel decides on another angle.

"The two of you fuck?"

You turn your head to face Joel, surprised. He’s got a strange expression on his face, his lids heavy, waiting for you response.

"Yeah.”

Joel takes the flask from you, holding it there in his palms, not drinking, just staring into the flames. "You like it?"

You shoot daggers at him. "Yes."

You're not lying. You did enjoy your times with Chiyo. While there wasn't a romantic aspect, you definitely felt taken care of during those times together.

Joel nods, lower lip protruding as he takes another pull of the flask. You’re thankful to him for bringing it

“How much did you hear of what I told Ellie?”

“Enough.” Joel swallows thickly.

The alcohol warms your veins and your belly and you start to relax.

"Did that Group.... Try things with you?"

It takes you a minute to parse what he's not saying out loud.

"No," you shake your head. "The women in the group were territorial that way. Besides they didn't see me like a person. More like a dog. They never spoke to me unless it was to order me around or feed me whatever leftovers they had. Kept me chained up at night so I couldn't escape."

Joel’s eye tics just a fraction as he listens to you. And for some reason whether it be the intimacy of sitting there with him before a fire or the whiskey working through your veins, you decide to share with Joel.

You think because he’s one of the few people who won’t pity you for it.

“So The Group… that’s what I called them. I never really learned their names. There were three men, two women. They had me with then for a few years. I was obedient for the most part because by the end I didn’t care if I lived or died. I did what they said and they weren’t kind to me, but they didn’t make me suffer as much as they could’ve. They took me to the bathroom, let me shower when there was time. But they never spoke to me directly unless it was to order me around.”

Joel is completely still, and the only movement comes from the shadow of the flames reflected in his dark eyes. You find you can’t look into them, instead finding the space between your bodies on the couch to do the job just fine. You tell the little patch of green your story.

"Wherever we stayed we always slept together in the same room. They said it was for safety but I know they just did it to keep an eye on everyone. The only one who was chained up at night was me. I was the bait after all. Chiyo was chained up for the first few months but he was a likeable guy. He earned their trust through action. He was a good shot and they liked having him around.”

You swallow.

“Well, in the last place the toilets didn’t work so there was an outhouse out back so Chiyo told me that he had a plan. He suggested they celebrate the hunting of the day with a little booze they had stashed in the supply bags. They were all for it. They chained me up and I just sat there watching them get drunker and drunker. After a few hours most of ‘em were passed out.”

You shift under the blankets, finding that you’re not really feeling the cold at all.

“So I did what Chi had told me. I told them I had to go to the bathroom. Chi was pretending to be drunk and he said that he would take me to the outhouse to make sure I didn’t get up to anything. They were so drunk I don’t even know if they heard us leave after he unchained me.”

Joel is still silent, still attentively listening. You wonder if this is all boring to him. If he’s seen much worse.

“So we go to the outhouse. Chi grabs the gun, I follow him back but he makes me stay outside the bedroom. He tells me that I shouldn’t see what’s going to happen. I wanted to help, but he insisted and I was in no position to fight him on it.”

You close your eyes, replaying the moment.

“So I stood there outside the door and I listened to him shoot each one in the head. Some of them were already passed out. One tried to fight back but like I said, Chi was a great shot. They didn’t stand a chance. Then we packed up and we left.”

You can still see it. The flash of blood and brain on the walls as Chi exited. The slumped over bodies as he tugged your wrist, urging you to follow him.

When your eyes open again Joel is offering you the flask. You take it gratefully, taking a ginger sip before handing it back. You don’t know what else to say, even as Joel rests his heavy gaze on you.

"You think less of him for it?"

"For killing the people that wouldn't even flinch if they had to kill me?" You scoff. "Not at all. I wish he'd hung them by their feet over a pit of ravenous clickers. Had them piss themselves in fear. I wish they could have seen their loved ones bit. I wish they could have watched as everything was taken from them and then I wish he’d slit their throats so they’d take longer to die."

You know that Joel is staring at you and it's likely because he's never seen this side to you. This ugly, twisted, hateful side that you try to keep hidden. This side that you soften under baked goods and paper flowers.

"Chi was right though about not letting me help him kill them," you confess quietly. “I’m not built for it.”

Joel is quiet, his body so still you think he’s gone rigid.

"He got bit not long before I got to the next QZ,” you explain. “And I couldn’t let him turn into one of those things.”

If Joel is surprised by your admission about Chiyo's death he makes no mention of it, his features remain stoic, his dark eyes moving back to the fire. You wish you could make sense of his expression, but you can’t, you don’t know him well enough.

“I still have nightmares about killing him and I don’t think those’ll ever go away,” you murmur to the flames. “You know, I remember thinking the doe we killed on that first patrol had eyes just like him. That same glossy dark color. Looked the same when he was dead, just staring up at me."

You don't speak much after that.

Not until a short while later when Joel’s flask is re-opened and the two of you take long pulls. The alcohol loosens you both up, you can tell in the lazy way you both lean into the couch.

The blankets and the couch and the fire lend you a feeling of comfort, of warmth and you think that perhaps this isn’t as bad as the situation could have been. That this Joel sitting by you feels different.

“If I'd known all that stuff, I never would've.... Joel trails off, still looking into the fire. "I'd have done things different when we started patrols."

"It shouldn't take someone's traumatic history for you to treat them decently," you say, feeling emboldened by the drink. You wait for his biting reply.

"You're right."

You're surprised by his easy agreement but you don't let it show. You find it hard to let a lot of how you feel show with Joel. Something in you always holds you back.

"I think you were just so... skittery," Joel offers to the flames. "Made me nervous."

"Oh."

As you look at him from the corner of your eyes in shock you think that when he's not scowling he's quite handsome. Strong masculine features, full lips. You can understand why Jennifer is attracted to him.

At that errant thought your mind goes to your friend. Jennifer. This is the perfect opportunity to talk her up like she's done with you to Luke.

"You know Jennifer was sa-"

"What’s with you and bringin’ up that Jennifer girl?" Joel cuts in, shooting you a glare. His old irritated expression is back, along with his tensed shoulders.

"I...uh..." You weren't expecting such vitriol. He crosses his arms in front of his chest like a petulant schoolchild.

"I've talked with her a handful of times," Joel says with a huff. "And I don't like how she stares at me."

"Except I've seen how you stare at her," you shoot back with a frown, defensive of your friend. "And flirt."

"Flirt?" Joel looks beside himself. "When s'at?"

"Agreeing to drinks at the Bison after patrols last time, calling her Jenny," you list these things off with ease. "Or how about staring at her during breakfast just this morning? She caught you doing it, you know."

Joel opens his mouth to say something but then slams it shut. He goes quiet and you know he must be remembering when he did all those things. You don't fault him, Jennifer is a beautiful woman.

"It's fine if you like her Joel, she likes you and-"

"I don't like her. I barely fuckin’ know her." He takes a swig from his flask. "I wish you'd stop bringin' her up."

"Okay. Sorry, I will."

“Good.”

Joel must be shy when it comes to crushes and you don't want to embarrass him further.

To you Joel is a forever enigma, someone who shares so little of himself. You feel almost owed information on his romantic past, as if because he heard your story you deserve his. You don’t know if that’s a fair assessment.

“I’ve never heard you talk about a woman. Was there anyone before Jackson City?”

“Yep.”

He doesn’t expand on this and you sigh heavily through your nose. You’re irritated that you’ve shared so much with someone who obviously doesn’t care to do the same with you. Perhaps you misjudged hi-

"There was a woman back in the Boston QZ," Joel's says in a voice that goes soft. "Tess. We smuggled together."

"What was she like?"

He shifts in his seat, the blanket tightening. He looks both irritated and impossibly wounded. He doesn’t look at you directly, more the wall over your shoulder when he addresses you.

"She was always in charge," he tells you in a voice that sounds detached from him. "I was the muscle."

This surprises you. Joel seems such a natural leader, such a confident force. They can't imagine him cowing to anyone, especially a woman.

"Did you like that?"

"I liked hurtin' people at times, yeah."

You don't have to ask him why he liked hurting people because the answer is clear. It was better to cause pain in others when it helped distract from the gaping wound within Joel Miller in the shape of his lost daughter.

"No, I meant did you like Tess being in charge?"

"Sometimes," Joel relents. "Was nice not to have to plan and organize and everythin'. Could just exist for a bit."

You imagine Joel back in the QZ with a beautiful woman who warmed his bed and you feel a strange twisting in your stomach. She was tough. The opposite of you, you think. You're soft. Too soft for this world at times.

"Did you guys..." You trail off, feeling strangely insecure. You shouldn't after everything he asked about you, and yet it still feels like a boundary crossed.

He sneers at you.

"I'm a man ain’t I?"

You don't say anything in response to that.

Your assessment had been correct – Joel liked strong, tough women. Women like Jennifer who could be feminine but hard when they needed to be. Women like this Tess who you just know was beautiful.

The fire crackles in front of you, leaving you drowsy and almost hypnotized. It makes you momentarily forget that you and Joel aren't people who usually talk to one another.

“Were you in love with her?”

You want to know about the woman who caught his attention, who he talks of with such reverence.

"I tried," Joel finally answers, but you can see the weight of it behind his eyes. "Couldn't give it to her in the way she wanted though."

You wish you knew what Tess looked like, what she sounded like when she laughed and if she was a good shot. You wonder if they teased each other affectionately or if it was all seriousness and hard fucking. You wonder if he fucked her mouth like did yours. You wonder if they slept together, limbs entwined, breathing even.

You feel a stab of jealousy that he had that. At least twice if the sporadic history you’ve learned of him is correct. Two women who held him, two women who loved him. A man as recalcitrant as him found two separate women to care for him. And you? What do you have?

"I don't need love," you confess to him him with a labored sigh, eyes drifting half shut sleepily. "Wouldn't know what to do with it if I had it. I just wanna be someone's only."

"Someone’s only?"

"Like the only one they see," you explain with a yawn. "The only one they take to bed and kiss and all that stuff."

Joel makes a soft humming sound as he digests what you're saying.

You snuggle further into the blankets, watching the fire in the hearth and wondering what it must have been like to be in this big library back when it held hundreds of books. You wonder what sort of people sat in the very room you and Joel reside in. Did they study, their eyes going blurry the longer they stared at the pages? Did they sneak off to kiss in the stacks, nervous fumbling fearful of being caught?

Libraries have their own sort of life within them after all, it’s easy to imagine the dusty floorboards and the peeling wallpaper restored to its former glory. Can almost hear the soft ‘shhhh’ of an eagle-eared librarian. The world before seems romantic and nostalgic in moments like this.

If only you’d enjoyed it to the fullest.

Your mind drifts to the embers, red hot and pulsing. It reminds you of blood pooling in a gaping mouth.

"Joel, do you think the infected are still conscious?"

He looks at you from the corner of his eye.

"Huh?"

"I mean, like, do you think that they're trapped in their bodies still knowing what's happening but unable to stop it?" You wince at the thought. "Not able to control their bodies but still self aware?"

"I sure fucking hope not," Joel says quietly.

"Me too. Jennifer said that th-“

You stop yourself with a sharp wince, but Joel has heard you and he rolls his eyes.

“Why're you always bringing up that Jennifer girl?"

You shrug, embarrassed. "I guess because she's like, my only friend."

"Ellie'll be devastated to hear that."

Warmth floods you at that. Ellie, your sweet little pal. The girl with the bite that puts her trust in you of all people.

"Yeah I guess she is too," you say with a rueful grin. "She must be pretty desperate to have a grown woman as a friend."

"She's discerning," Joel mutters. "She doesn't waste her time on idiots."

You think that this is as close to a compliment that Joel's ever given you outside of sexual interactions. It gives you pause.

"I like how honest Ellie is," you offer. "It can be brutal at times, but I like that I know where I stand with her."

Joel smiles at that, a tight-lipped thing he's never offered you before. It makes you give one in return before your attention goes back to your hands in your lap.

“She sure thinks the world of you,” you offer.

“Yeah well,” Joel shrugs, embarrassed. “We’ve been through a lot.”

“Did she know Tess?”

Joel goes quiet, staring back at the fire. You worry that you’ve said the wrong thing because he’s got a hurt look in his eyes. The kind that makes the dark brown of it glossy and hard.

“Yeah. She knew Tess.”

And something in the finality of his hushed tone makes you cease in that line of questioning. His eyes sweep to you as if belatedly realizing he's shared a vulnerable part of himself and like a feral cat that hisses when they realize they've let their guard down, Joel straightens.

"I've had too much of this," he says handing you the flask. You're surprised when you can feel it's still half full. "You should go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when your shift starts.”

"Okay."

You put the flask on the floor, looking into the fire before shifting onto your side, curling within the blankets. You gaze down over your hip to see Joel staring into the space in front of him and you realize that this is perhaps one of the only times you’ll be able to really talk to Joel.

And there’s a big, big question that’s been lingering in your subconscious for weeks now. One that you could never have brought up if not for this sense of camaraderie.

“Joel, why did you stop wanting to do stuff on patrols?”

You don’t know why but you need to ask him this. You’ve gone through the scenarios countless times trying to understand. The thought that you did something wrong, the thought that perhaps Joel got bored of you is what you’ve landed on, but you want to hear it.

He shifts again on the couch, his back cracking. He licks at his lower lip, hands bracing against his thighs. It’s clear he’s uncomfortable with the topic, but you can’t find it in yourself to let it go.

“Did I do something wrong that day?”

“No,” Joel says quickly. “Just thought it was a distraction.”

“Oh.”

You don’t really believe that. But you suppose it could be true. You are here to do a job after all, not suck him off. You exhale slowly through your nose as you think back to that final day, his thumb in your mouth and his eyes on your face. You think of how it felt to have your mouth full of him and that blissful sensation of quiet that came along with it.

“I miss doing it.”

It comes from you in a breathy sigh, a quiet thing said to the air in front of you. But its loud in the silent room and it makes your eyes pop open.

Did Joel hear that?

You close your eyes then, your cheeks heating because there's a hesitation, a silence. You cringe, feeling as though you've fucked this up this gentle alliance. Joel was so forthcoming with you and now he’s gone radio silent because you just said the stupidest thing possible.

You shake your head internally, bracing yourself for Joel’s mockery or derision.

There’s the feeling of the couch dipping and when you crack open your eyes Joel's muscular frame is moving towards you. The blanket has fallen to his hips, leaving his torso visible.

You sit up, suddenly intimidated by his broad frame and muscular stature. His eyes scan over your body hidden in the blankets. He takes in your braced pose, the way you’re almost wary of him as he moves over to you.

"Lay back.”

You look at his eyes reflecting the flames licking up the hearth. It's almost as hypnotic as his husky voice.

“What’re you-“

“I said lay back.”

His voice is stern but without its usual malice. He’s giving you an order and he’s expecting you to follow it. You remember the first day you met him.

I'm the one who gives orders. Not you.

You feel your pulse start to tick as the two of you lock eyes and its like everything in the world falls away. The whistle of the wind, the crackle of the fire, the thrum of your heart. Nothing is left save for your shallow breathing.

You tilt backwards, your arms securing your blanket tightly around your torso. You wonder if he’s going to fuck your mouth in this position. Or perhaps he’s just going to touch himself over you. Both thoughts have you pressing your thighs together tightly. You’re head is perched on the edge of the sofa arm, watching him.

Joel’s eyes dip to your waist and he confuses you when his long fingers slide to the blanket laying overtop you. He says nothing, just pushes the blanket up your waist, exposing you to him in the firelight. Goose bumps ripple over your flesh but not from the cold.

“Joel-“

His eyes never leave your face, but you feel his fingers brush over your bare thigh. The blanket toga you fashioned has come undone and you flinch as he moves his calloused hand over your skin, thumb grazing the crease between your thigh and hip. The air feels strangely heavy as Joel’s knuckles graze your slick entrance.

It feels so good.

Your hips jolt before you force them to still, your body supine before him. Joel tilts his head slightly, gazing at your exposed cunt with what almost looks like affection.

“She always this wet?"

The way he speaks is so vulgar but his tone is so soothing that it creates a strange dichotomy within your brain. It leaves you dumbstruck, able only to give a brief shake of your head in response.

Joel sweeps the tip of his tongue over his plush lower lip, wetting it.

"S'for me?"

You still can't answer; your throat feels sealed shut as he keeps his gaze fixed between your legs. But your silence and pink cheeks are their own kind of damning confession.

Joel says nothing more but there's a touch of amusement in his look that's not lost on you. It makes you tilt your face to the side, not wanting to show more of your hand.

Joel shifts, removing his hand from your body. You immediately miss the warmth, eyes snapping down the length of you to watch in quiet fascination as Joel shrugs off the blanket over his shoulders.

You swallow again, your own blanket raised to just below your eyes. You can't help but exhale softly at the sight of him.

Joel's body is a beautiful gold color. There are a few scars that curve along his flesh, a particularly jagged one along the right side under his ribs. He's broad and muscular and so masculine with his strong features and stronger body.

One of the blankets remains slung loosely around his middle, allowing you a brief vision of dark hair below his navel leading under the quilt before he curves forward. His wide hands come to slide up over your knees, gliding to your thighs and then back down again. He does this several times, his eyes watching the ascent of his touch as you pant softly.

His hands come to glide up your thighs again, thumbs coming to trace the soft inner skin there. You feel as his strong grip begins to urge your legs to part and in a panic your thighs slap together. You see the flash of his glittering eyes snap to your face.

"Open.”

When you don't immediately acquiesce you feel his thumbs tracing small circles on the inner skin of your thigh, not moving an inch from where he kneels half curled over you. His touch is setting of strange vibrations through your body, ones that make it hard to catch your breath.

“Open.”

He repeats it and the timbre of his voice is sweet and sticky like syrup. A coaxing thing that silently promises it’ll be worth it if you do. He waits, not moving an inch as you decide.

Finally after a moment’s deliberation you give a shuddering breath before your legs fall open on either side of him, exposing you in a completely new way as you hear him inhale slowly.

You feel like your entire body is on fire not only from embarrassment but from this overwhelming sizzling ache in your core. This strange desire that makes it impossible to think clearly. To remind you that you don’t really like Joel as a person. To remind you that Joel doesn’t enjoy your company.

But it doesn’t matter because Joel is moving to rest prone on the couch between your legs with a grunt. He props himself up on his elbows and goes to push the blanket over your hips higher but you tense. He must register this because his hands slide back, his mouth set in a firm line of patience.

One wide palm slips between your legs, gentle fingers grazing over your mound. The sensation is soothing, almost bordering on ticklish. You feel your body eventually relaxing, eyes drifting shut. Joel makes a quiet sound of what you think is approval.

You don't know how long this lasts for, but you soon find yourself boneless, lulled by Joel's shockingly delicate touch. Your arms which had been glued over your chest now relax, rising over your head over the arm of the couch.

You feel yourself drifting off, unsure of when Joel went from someone who terrified you to a man whose fingers are slowly dancing up the seam of your pussy. He feels so soft and gentle right now and you let him maneuver you however he wants. He must feel you relax in his grip because the soft drag of his fingers now slides between the seam of your sex.

Two thick fingers slowly spread the glossy lips of your pussy, brushing your straining clit in the process. Joel’s gaze is fixed there, almost as if he’s marveling at how wet you are. You shudder gently at his intense scrutiny, noting that Joel's eyes flick to yours when you do. You breathe shallowly, eyes wide and mouth parted.

Joel lowers his mouth to where his fingers still hold you open. With his dark eyes fixed on you, he gives a slow, languid lick of his flattened tongue over your clit. The sight and sensation causes you to immediately jolt, pleasure tearing through your middle.

Joel Miller’s mouth is between your legs.

You still can’t quite comprehend that this is happening to you. Goose bumps rise up all over your body, every sense quivering with arousal. Joel isn’t smirking, but it almost feels like he could be when you swallow thickly.

"He ever do this?” he rumbles. “Your friend?"

He says friend like others would say asshole.

"N-no," you say with a fluttering of your pulse. "Never had time."

"But there was time to suck his cock," Joel says with derision clear in his voice. “Time to ride him?”

You want to defend your old friend and point out the irony considering the past you and Joel share, but then his mouth is back there between your legs and all words leave you.

With his soulful eyes closing, Joel repeats the previous action with his tongue once, twice and then a third lingering time that has you grunting in the back of your throat, hips rolling against his mouth.

He pulls his mouth off you slightly and in the low firefight you see the web of saliva and slick that join his tongue to your cunt. It's lascivious and obscene and you feel as fresh arousal gathers there just at the sight.

You feel exposed, suddenly vulnerable with his mouth between your thighs. You go to close them but Joel's eyes snap open to scorch a blazing path up at you.

Obey.

Despite him saying nothing out loud, you swallow, nodding. He seems satisfied because he gives your clit a soft lave that makes you swallow a groan. You have a moment of confusion, wondering why he’s doing this all of a sudden.

"Joel I -"

"I like doin' this," he tells you almost frustrated at your sudden discomfort. "So just let me."

You watch as he slides his hands beneath the back of your legs, urging them to rise. You go limp, curious when he maneuvers your legs over his broad shoulders, hinging at the knee.

His mouth is level with your pussy now, more easily accessible and this seems to please him before Joel's lips begin to kiss slowly over pussy, making out with it in a way your mouth has never felt.

You have no desire for the pleasure to stop.

You feel his lips sponging along your mound before the fingers holding you open spread you further, allowing him to probe deeply with the thick muscle of his tongue, making the most deliciously vulgar wet sound as he does. His nose grazes your clit as he does this, fucking you with his tongue and teasing your clit.

You nearly capitulate off the sofa at that sensation. The deep thrust of his tongue twisting within your sopping core as you huff out little whines while the plush pout of his lips working against the dripping between your legs.

He breathes heavily through his nose, not wanting to break the connection of his mouth on your cunt as he gazes at you. He sees the way your head tilts back, the way your thighs slightly turn inward. He holds your hips down, thumbs absently stroking over the skin there before coming to cradle the lips of your pussy, allowing him better access to your aching clit.

He groans at one point, a low, sinful thing accompanied by a wet kissing sound that has your nipples tightening almost painfully under the blanket. Your hips roll lazily under the sensation, whimpering slightly when his tongue comes to flick over your swollen clit time and time again.

When his eyes drift closed you feel your body tightening. You lift your hips instinctively and you almost believe that you can feel Joel smirk against your cunt. For some reason that’s what has a white hot pleasure shooting up your middle as you rush towards your release.

“Oh f-f-fuck-“

You suddenly tilt backwards, as Joel's hands grip your hips tightly, fingertips dimpling your flesh as his mouth continues it steady dance against your pussy.

“There it is,” Joel murmurs against your cunt as you begin to keen loudly.

Everything in your body tightens and your back arches. Your toes curl into the soft of the couch as Joel works his mouth continuously through your shuddering cry of pleasure. He allows your thighs to squeeze the side of his head as your hands grip uselessly at your sides.

Joel laps at the pooling essence between your thighs, groaning as he does it. Your heartbeat flutters at the sight, his eyes rolled back and his mouth working hurriedly over your sex, making obscene sucking noises. You can only whimper down at him, hips rolling lazily against his searching mouth.

And then all at once Joel’s hands slide beneath your bottom, grasping large handfuls of your ass, holding you firmly in place so that his tongue can probe deeper.

"Another," Joel commands, licking flat swipes along your cunt, the tip of his tongue flicking your clit. Your thighs tremble and you give frantic little huffing cries at the sensation that seems to be building again.

"I-I cant-"

"You will," Joel tells you sharply, lips coming to circle your clit once more before sucking it into his mouth and you see fireworks behind your eyes. His words swim through your veins, much like they always do. Another. Another. Another.

He orders you obey.

He leads you follow.

You give his name out with a lusty cry and for the first time this evening you touch him. Your hands go to his thick curls and you clutch there desperately, needing to ground yourself, needing him as deep as possible, needing him.

He doesn’t shake you off and doesn’t demand you not touch him. If anything he seems to suck harder and you think you see his hips beginning to thrust against the couch. His arms banded over your waist hold you in place, his head shaking back and forth.

"Joel! I'm gonna... Gonna..."

"C'mon then," Joel urges between sloppy kisses to your cunt. "Fuckin’ do it."

Your hips pitch off the creaking sofa, rutting into Joel's mouth with abandon. You hear him groaning with approval and that sends your head tilting back as the pleasure rocks through you.

Joel gives a shudder, his lips trembling around your clit as you feel yourself coming down. He continues to suck gently, eyes closed. With trembling fingers you touch his cheek lightly, your body overwhelmed.

"S'enough," you tell him through gasps. "Can't... Can't do any more."

He nods and leans back slowly onto his knees, one hand on the back of the couch.

You go to tell him that you'll do the same for him. Your hand even reaches out towards him but it stops halfway when you see the wide damp spot at the front of his blanket.

He came.

When you tear your eyes to go to his face Joel is daring you to say something. His dark eyes are glittering in his face as he stares you down. His mouth is wet with your arousal.

But you can't ask: Joel did you just come while you were going down on me?

Even though you want to because the thought turns you on more than you can explain. That just your pleasure was enough for him to climax.

“Thank you,” you whisper, unsure of what to say in such a moment. The corner of Joel’s mouth twitches in amusement.

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes are on his abdomen, the scar there in the firelight twisted and obvious. It’s fresher than the other ones that litter his body. You want to ask him how it happened, you want to ask him why he did this tonight, you want to ask him so many more questions but you feel sobered up and too intimidated to ask him.

When you don't say anything more Joel leans forward again, eyes stuck on you. Your legs are still there on his shoulders and you go to move them off.

"I can’t do anything more." You feel your eyelids growing heavy, like each one has a tiny weight at the corner pulling down. "I'm tired."

"Go to sleep then," he tells you, rich baritone against your legs. You feel his lips grazing along your inner thighs, slow, gentle things, taking their time. “Don’t need to do anything but lay there.”

"What about you?"

"Not tired yet. ‘Sides it’s my watch."

You feel his mouth drifting over the seam of your thigh, breathing in your skin. His lips are petal soft and he’s doing that same light grazing that makes your eyes close before you slip into the warm and welcoming darkness of sleep.

///

You don't even remember falling asleep but judging by the quieting of the storm it's been a while. The fire is dim, but not out.

But that's not what has woken you.

It's the steadily building orgasm being coaxed out of you by the man still there between your thighs. You can't see him, but you feel his heavy mouth there. Has he just been there licking and sucking as you slept?

You make a croaking hum deep in your throat as your hips slowly begin to roll against his mouth. You can't see Joel's face in the semi darkness, but you just know he's looking at you.

You feel your climax building, pushing you to let out little whines. Joel's mouth takes you there, licking just hard enough to have your legs trembling. A husky order from somewhere in the darkened night.

"Go on then.”

You feel everything in you release at those three words. The delicious tension unwinding itself from your body as you come against his tongue.

"Good girl."

Only then does Joel remove your thighs from over his shoulders. He closes them gently like the pages of a cherished book before pulling your blanket back down over your body.

"Thank you," you croak out to him. It doesn't seem like enough but it must be because Joel gives a grunt. You feel his body lift from off the sofa. You want to see what he does next but you feel so relaxed and you're so tired.

Just so fucking tired.

///

You wake up too early the next morning, when the sky is still bleeding pink into the start of the day. You blink sleepily up at the window, confused that you’re so warm and cozy despite the fire being dead.

Belatedly you realize you’re sandwiched between the back of the couch and something warm and hard. The disorientation of sleep slowly seeps from you and you realize that you're snuggled up against Joel's back with your arm slung over his waist.

Memories of last night make your cheeks burn. Joel's mouth on you, the way he took his time. The way he came. Something about that fact makes your throat run dry.

His torso is bare and up so close to him you can see the small array of freckles along his tanned shoulders like a golden galaxy. He’s so broad, his body nearly falling off the edge of the couch as he sleeps on.

He's very still, his breathing slow and even. You peer up and see the threads of grey in his dark hair shining in the almost dead fire. You want to touch it, to see if it's as soft as it looks but you don’t dare.

His spine is under his taut flesh just inches from your mouth. You don't press your mouth to his skin but you can't help but inhale, shocked at how comforting the scent of leather and homemade soap is.

And while you should start the day and get as far away from Joel Miller as possible, there’s something about this moment that feels better than you can explain. It makes it so that your forehead presses against his spine and your front goes flush with his back. It makes you sigh softly as your eyes grow heavy and sleep pulls you back under.

---------------------------

TAGLIST

@casssiopeia

@getitoutofmymind

@joeldjarin

@elegantduckturtle

@cosmic006533-blog

@orcasoul

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@multiversed-daydreamer

@deninoe

@ashleyfilm

@missladym1981

@questionablemay

@noisynightmarepoetry

@eddiesxrings

@know-that-its-delicate

@onlyyoucan-getme

@cosmic006533-blog

@harryscum

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@puduvallee

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@guelyury

@sofiparallel

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@joelmillersblog

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@whataboutcloneclub

@cuteanimalmama

@locaparapedrito

@kateg88

@noisynightmarepoetry

@r3dheadedwitch

@hjzghi-blog

320 notes · View notes

matrixbearer2024 · 3 months

Note

not a request but i just wanna get an idea that i absolutely MUST get out of my brain before it consumes my entire being. So, your “get off my screen series”. You know that trend where ppl put that one vox vid of his face on their tv and put like hus hat and/or body attached to the tv. Imagine vox somehow finds a way to do that and y/n just does this.

THATS IT LMAO ABSOLUTELY LOVE AND ADORE YOUR SERIES. ANYTIME I SEE IT’S UPDATED IT MAKES MY DAY<3

TikTok Trending, Posts and Memes

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: With how many ideas you guys have at this point I might just continue to write short scenarios for this AU with all the ideas you guys are giving me- it's absolutely amazing seeing what y'all come up with and I'm just living for it hahahaha! Thank you guys so much!

The week you had was... interesting to say the least.

Vox had challenged you to at least take up basic programming, claiming you were too impatient to learn.

So you, being the persistent and stubborn you-

Decided to prove him wrong.

Besides, it can't be that bad if he knows how to do it.

You wouldn't tell him because it'd probably make him butthurt-

But you were sure Vox was 1000% more impatient than you.

You took up computer science for extra credit, quickly learning the ins and outs of basic coding.

It was just a world of syntax and numbers but you definitely found it fun.

And useful too-

Especially when you wanted to explicitly screw with others.

Vox may or may not have slightly taught you how to hack.

But you weren't using it for anything bad!

Just to change the final grade of some asshole students so they'd have to repeat the class.

That's what they get for just randomly tripping you in the hall the other day.

Vox was slightly proud but also kind of concerned-

You'd definitely end up where he was at this rate.

Thankfully though, you decided not to do anything too crazy since.

Instead you've been messing around on your devices alongside the tech overlord.

From practicing how to send him encrypted messages-

To straight up just shitposting all over his monitors.

It's not so fun now is it Voxxy?

You would sometimes try to transfer him around to other devices that weren't your own to see if he could actually do anything.

Well, he could- but it only worked if he was directly connected to it.

Meaning he had to be plugged in.

How he was able to connect to all your devices wirelessly without limitation?

Neither of you had a clue.

You both first tested it on your best friend's phone, only for Vox to immediately go back to your computer and blow up your notifications.

"Nope nope nope nope, that's the last time I let you plug me into some random fucking phone-"

"What?? What happened??? And it's not random, it's (Friend Name)'s Phone."

"Dollface, you know Valentino right? The one I told you about?"

"The pornstar? What about?"

You didn't exactly like where this conversation was going.

You had an inkling where it would end and you were already cringing.

"Yeeaaaah, I've known him for quite some time so I would think I've seen nearly everything."

"Get to the point Vox-"

"And yet I am somehow utterly disgusted by your friend's search history."

"Yeah, uh... I'd rather you don't tell me."

"I figured. Though it makes me curious about what yours looks like."

That gave you pause, given how Vox had practically invaded your entire computer-

Hell, he even gave your files a new sorting system-

You were surprised he hadn't gone through your search history.

Of all the things you'd think that was what he'd ransack first.

"You haven't checked my search history yet?"

"Why would I? It's not like I'm trying to find your secret porn stash or something."

"Bruh, why would I even have that."

"Your friend had one, I just guessed."

"Touché."

You were a little touched that Vox cared about you enough not to really dig into your secrets.

Or well, the things you wanted to keep secret.

For a big bad overlord, he was kind of a sweetheart.

"Okay now I definitely wanna see what you've got hidden in there-"

"FUCK OFF YOU STUPID OLD PICTUREBOX-"

"YOU CAN'T STOP ME BITCH-"

You know what, you retracted your previous statement.

He's a fucking jerk.

Vox quickly dug through your search history while the tiny desktop companion in his likeness refused to give you control over the cursor.

You couldn't stop him even if you tried.

His phone blew up from notifications with you cursing at him or just calling him names.

He just laughed at your dismay and continued to dig through.

Okay- wow.

While he didn't initially expect it from you, Vox reckoned he probably should've.

Much like how people had celebrity crushes, he figured you would have your own.

It just so happened that it wasn't a celebrity and it was a fictional character instead.

He kind of felt like someone slapped him in the face actually, even if he didn't know why.

"Soooooo- (Favorite Character Name) huh?"

"Shaddup-"

"This? This is your type???"

"IT'S A FICTIONAL CRUSH GET OVER IT-"

While you were practically steaming from the ears in embarrassment, Vox was just laughing and dealing with his mixed feelings.

On one hand, he found your reactions absolutely entertaining and hilarious.

On the other hand, he didn't even know who or what this character was and he already disliked them.

Just a gut feeling.

He continued to tease you for it though, bringing up more cringe parts of your search history much to your chagrin.

It wasn't really anything bad that you couldn't take, it was just so embarrassing that you'd rather he didn't dig any of it up.

So in the heat of the moment, wanting to get Vox off your computer- you plugged it into the only other active device he wasn't connected.

Your TV.

It was nearly instant, he went from teasing and texting to you to a befuddled face on the larger screen.

But what was more surprising, was he could actually see you this time.

It wasn't filtered over with static like when he'd first met you.

The live feed even had audio, which was just entirely unexpected too.

Who knew, plug a TV demon into his specific medium and he could actually operate properly?

But that's how you guys ended up figuring out how to connect his digital presence to your TV.

By entire surprise and from just fucking around.

"Oh my god that worked-"

"(Y/N)? Holy hell! I can actually see you!"

"I did not think that would work-"

"Wow, are you really that short or is your TV just perched up that high?"

You just flipped him the bird and Vox laughed at you again.

Though, you couldn't help but smile because of it.

Well, at least now he could converse with you "properly" like he'd wanted to for a while.

Even if it did mean he'd need to take up your entire TV.

"Oh- OH WAIT- I've got an idea!"

Vox couldn't even question what you were doing before you ran out of the room and out of his sight.

So while waiting, he took a gander at the room you left him in.

It became abundantly clear that this was your living space too.

From the colors to the patterns, Vox smiled fondly as he recalled your old conversations where you would just tell him things about the things you liked.

Yeah, he could definitely see your touch in how the room was designed.

He raised an eyebrow when you giddily came back into the room with some colored paper, scissors and tape.

What-?

"Okay Doll, just what are you planning?"

"You'll see~!"

Your excitement kept him curious.

What were you drawing over there?

Weird timing for an arts and crafts project if you asked him.

It was only until you approached him and taped something to the screen did he actually grow confused.

He couldn't see what you did despite you doubling over in laughter.

What could've possibly been so funny that had you keeling from it?

By the time you could finally look at Vox without laughing your ass off, you used your phone to take a picture of how he looked.

Approaching the TV to show him just so he could see the photo as well.

Ah.

So that's what you found so funny.

You'd fashioned his outfit-

Poorly made but still recognizable-

Out of paper and taped it to the screen.

His hat on top and his suit dangling off the bottom.

Admittedly, it looked downright silly.

Especially with the proportions being so off thanks to the size of the TV screen.

"Haha, very funny (Y/N). Very funny."

"I'm making this shit my wallpaper, you look so goofy."

Vox just playfully rolled his eyes at you with a smile.

If that was seriously all it took to make you laugh?

He'd do it again no questions asked.

Taking a peek at his internal clock though, he held back his disappointment that he had to leave when you were on such an elated high.

"Sorry to cut this short doll, but I need to disconnect. I've got a meeting in a few minutes."

"Hm? Then go and do what you need to do, I can always just plug you back in later. Good luck!"

The overlord chuckled when you raised a hand to pat the screen, he couldn't feel it but he wished he did.

"I don't need luck, but... thanks. See you."

"See you."

And just like that the screen fizzled out and returned to the smart TV homepage.

You'd sent the picture to Vox through your chats and he replied with a TV emoticon.

You giggled, course he would do that.

At least he didn't take offense to what you did-

Despite your poor art skills-

Maybe he found it as entertaining as you did?

Whatever, you switched the wallpaper on your phone to the new photo you had of Vox and laughed.

His confused expression really sealed the deal with how silly the picture was.

But imagine your surprise come morning when you realized he didn't switch the wallpaper back to his trademark grin.

You sort of expected him to, especially given that he'd done so with all your past attempts to change your wallpaper.

The fact he left it alone made you smile.

And as the day began and Vox left you a morning greeting-

You just shot him one back and got up to prepare for the day.

You figured the day would be just fine.

Yeah, you guys would be just fine.

A/N: Ooough this was a long one but I had a lot of fun writing it! I'll post the masterlist afterwards when I grab all the links to the posts and I'll just be continuing the other interludes before I post the chapter with Reader's death. Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this one!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #vox x you #Get Off My Screen Series

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multi-fandom-imagine · 1 year

Text

-Wanna Feel Your Skin.

A/n: I apologize if this sucks and if I left you off the tag list. But really on so sorry if it sucks.

Warnings: P in the V, teasing, creampie, biting, rough sex, aftercare, sex pollen. { everything is consensual ,Female reader.

Tag List:

@jeremy-is-heere , @cuti3pie4u , @yeojoongiee , @the-abyss-of-fandoms , @hrefna-the-raven , @msghostface , @lunamomos

Inspirations:

[ CLAIM ] our muses are arguing because receiver is worried and overprotective of sender, but when they get up in each other’s faces they end up kissing and groping at each other.

Song: Skin- Rihanna

Song 2: Dangerous Woman- Ariana Grande

Heat, it’s all he was feeling. Heat and want.

Leon didn’t understand what was happening to him, why he was feeling like this, why he wanted you so badly.

He had to push down, he couldn’t focus on that! He can’t shouldn’t be focusing on wanting to fuck you.Gritting his teeth he ran a shaky hand through his hair. He didn’t know what the fuck he got injected with but right now his priorities was to find Ashley and make sure that you stay safe in the process.

And of course she had to show up, Leon knew how much Ada pushed your buttons. She knew his feelings for you despite him never telling you.

“It would be so easy Leon, to just give in to your desires…I don’t think she’ll complain.”

Leon wanted to say something, he tried to open his mouth but that scuffle had riled him up. He could feel his pulse pounding under his skin, his heart racing.

Working his jaw Leon did his best to focus on what Ada saying but then you stepped closer, your hand placing its self on his forearm. He wanted to shrug you off. The rational part in his brain begging him to push you away. It was coming to a point where he couldn’t even hear your voices anymore.

“Why the hell are you here.”It’s not like you hated the woman per say, you knew the shit she did yet that wasn’t the reason why you held so much hate for her, you hated how much she flirted with Leon. That he seemed to hold something for her. You hated how jealous you felt but you knew you could never admit it out loud. What was the point in admitting your feelings only to be turned down.

Ignoring your question, Ada tipped her head to the side watching the man stumble towards the table. His nails digging into the wood, chest heaving. She wondered if this might be the push you both needed. She was honestly getting tired of watching you both dance around each others feelings.

“You should take care of our dear Boy Scout. Don’t think he’ll last much longer.”

Turning away from Ada you gasped seeing Leon hunched across the table, he didn’t look good and at the moment you could careless Ada being gone.

“Leon! Shit you’re burning up.” Pressing your hand to his head you tried to think what might be wrong.

God why did you have to stand so close to him, why did you have to smell so good. Squeezing his eyes shut he tried to drown out your voice, tried to tell you to leave but nothing game out but a strangled groan, he could feel his blood rushing south. Something he did not want to happen.

“Don’t tell me you’re all worked up about her Leon.God I don’t understand why you’d even having feelings for that woman.”

Pushing away from the table he took a few steps away from you nearly tripping. He wanted, wanted you badly and he was scared what might happen if he’d act on his impulse.

“Really Y/n…you think I have feelings for her? Christ you’re smart but I didn’t think you’d be blind. How can’t you see that.” Gritting his teeth he snapped his neck towards you. “You don’t see they I have feelings for you?”

“What?” You we’re so quite he wasn’t sure how he picked it up and right now he didn’t care, he never meant for the words to spill past his lip this. He hated how desperate he sounded.

A small rumble escaped his lips, he didn’t know what made him snap. Maybe it was the pent up feelings or how you were looking at him but he wanted you, he wanted you now and the next thing you knew your body was being pinned to the small table. Leon’s hands on your hips. You tried not to shudder feeling his hardness pressing into you. His lips finding yours, you did your best to return the kiss until he broke it.

His face hiding against your neck, his fingers skimming your bare skin as they slid under the shirt you were wearing. “Please…please you need to leave.I can’t stand the thought of hurting you.”

Sinking your teeth in your lip you let your fingers run down the back of his neck. “Then take me Leon…please…I want this.”

Your voice, your pleading as your legs wrapped around his hips. Your clothes coming off happened bast, to fast in his mind. His hand cupping your breasts, sliding down your hips to your center.

This was his, for his eyes lonely and once he was out of this hellhole he was going to take you right, treat you like a Queen but right now he wants you and he’ll make sure you’d be screaming out his name.

A small whimper escaped your through as he pushed a finger in your warmth, your juices coating his fingers. He couldn’t wait to be within you, to feel you envelope his cock.

“Don’t hold back Leon.Please I want to feel all of you.”

Leon did his best to not to hurt you, his nails digging into your curves as he drew you closer. Your body nearly sliding off the table as he sheathed himself into your warmth.The table groaning underneath you as he continued to thrusts, his hands guiding your hips. You did your best to match Leon’s movements. One hand moving down where you both were joined as he pressed his thumb to your clit.

A cry leaving your lips, your breasts bouncing with head of his hard thrusts.His lips capturing your own as his tongue swirled against your own, your cry’s muffled.

The familiar feeling building in your stomach as your legs tightened around his hips. Your fingers weaving through his freed hand, Leon squeezing it gently. The only sound in the room were the ones of your love making, moans spilling past your lips. Begging for more, a deep chuckle escaping Leons chest as he slowed his pace. His mind clearing of the fog, teasing you.

The tip of his cock brushing your clit as he nuzzled your neck as he moved his hand back to your hips.

“Say my name.”

“Leon…please. Don’t stop.”

Your body tensing as he pushed his cock back into your pussy.

“So good, you feel so good.”

Your first climax hits you the moment Leon pulled out his member. The tip barley grazing your walls. Your teeth sinking into your bottom lip. Your body quivering, chest heaving as your arousal dripped down your thighs and on the table below you, waves of pleasure shooting through your body as he thrusted back into you.

“More.”

Picking up the pace, Leon hitched your leg higher on his hips, the new angle making you cry out his name. Your scream echoing the once silent room as pleasure rolls through you.

Then you scream, your throat raw as he continue to thrust.His breaths coming in harsh, burning pants against your cheeks as he continues to fuck you, his hips snapping against yours as his name continued to slip past your lips over and over.

Your head swimming with dazed pleasure, consuming desire. Your blood pounding in your ears as as the table creaked with each force of his thrusts.Another climax building, a feral growl escaping Leon’s throat as you felt the base of his cock start to swell.

“Yes!”You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, feel the pleasure building within you as his thrusts started to become more sloppy.

“Y/n.”He groans out your name, rutting faster, deeper, his thrusts becoming more desperate and with one last, power thrust he slams his shaft within you. Your nails digging into his shoulder as you sobbed out his name.

Leon comes, burying his face in your neck, a shuddering groan of pleasure escaping his lips, his chest pressed against yours. You could feel his heart pounding as your lips found his, your body still shaking with pleasure as he fills you with his seed.You kiss him, slowly, careful as he throbs within you.

His mind free from the fog, everything finally clear as his body finally relaxes.Your fingers now stroking his cheek as he lent against your hand finally coming down from the high.

“I’m sorry…this wasn’t exactly how I wanted our first time to happen but.”

Chucking weakly you ran your feelings through Leon’s hair, the man melting into your touch. Of course the man would revert into his caring self. “Leon. You don’t have to apologize, I mean it’s not the most romantic place but I’m not complaining.” Placing a kiss you his cheek you then gave him a teasing smile. “But next time you want to fuck me, pick a place that’s more comfortable.” You teased.

Snorting Leon captured your lips in for one last kiss before he finally pulled out from your warmth.Watching the cum slipping out of your warmth was stirring something with him, forcing himself to look away he cleared out his throat tugging his pants back up. “Sorry for…tossing your clothes away.”

Blinking, you narrowed your eyes, a smile forming on your lips as you started to put your clothes back on. “How’s that fair that I’m the only one that got naked.”

Once you were finally dressed Leon placed his hands on your hips. “I promise…next time we’ll both be naked.”

“Hmm and I’ll be comfortable.”

Placing his fingers under your chin he forced you to look at him. “You’ll be very comfortable.”

Grinning you gave him another kiss before pulling away. “Good, now before we go and you know rescue Ashley again. How are you feeling?.”

Closing his eyes, Leon clutched your hips. He hummed. “A lot better actually, I love you. I should have said that in the beginning.”

“I love you too Leon.”

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silassinclair · 2 months

Note

It’s my first time requesting, so I’m sorry if you don’t understand my bad english ;-;

May I request a GN readerx Yandere Wild West Outlaw (my brain can’t remember his name) with a reader who sleeps anywhere on anything? There will be one time this man has seen his darling somehow out of the ropes and is sleeping on the roof.

I understand if you don’t wanna do this request, but if you do it thank you from the bottom of my heart! <3

Always take care and take a break when needed~

This request is so silly I have to do it. Also your english is great, don’t sweat it!!

Yandere Wild West Outlaw x Sleepy Reader

CW// Nothing, just wholesomeness

Masterlist

It’s yours and Maddox’s first night together after he took you from your home. You two are camping out in the desert by a cave. There’s a small fire lit and Maddox’s horse Jasper is munching on some carrots.

But it’s been awfully quiet, the outlaw thinks. Why is it so quiet?

He realizes it’s because of you! You’re usually always thrashing and screaming at him and now you aren’t!

He also realizes that you’re no where to be found… It makes him panic slightly. He shoots up from where he’s sat and he looks around the camp. The desert is dangerous, what if you got stung by a scorpion or bit by a rattlesnake!?

“You come out from where you’re hidin’ missy! Or I outta shoot-”

He nearly trips and falls flat on his face. Looking down he sees you taking a dirt nap, quite literally in the dirt. How did you get so far away from camp? Did you sleep walk? Fall asleep while trying to escape? Whatever it is Maddox doesn’t give a damn, he’s glad he found you.

“You’re a dumb little thing. What would you do without me?”

From this moment onward Maddox sees a repeating pattern. You sleep anytime, anywhere. And on occasion you can even “teleport”. He thought about calling a priest to perform an exorcism on you once.

“Sweet Jesus, this ain’t possible… How’d ya get out here!?”

When you fall asleep while on his horse he sits you in front of him so he can act as a back rest. He doesn’t want you falling off now.

Loves it when you fall asleep on him. You’re so vulnerable when you’re asleep like this. He can touch you without getting yelled at or smacked. So he takes advantage of it.

Combs his hands through your pretty locks of hair and caresses your plush cheeks. Sometimes when you squirm in your sleep from a nightmare he shushes you like a baby and rocks you back and forth.

Stays by your side from now on when you’re asleep after… the incident.

The Incident:

After over a week of being on horseback and foot Maddox finds an old house for them to settle in temporarily. It’s a cute house with victorian architecture. It’s definitely abandoned and all the owner’s belongings are still there. They most likely fled due to the Native American tribe near by but Maddox isn’t afraid of them. He actually gets along with the tribesmen better than the whites who hate him for being half American and half Mexican.

“This place is nice. It almost the same size as my old home.” Y/n mutters as she admires the decor. But her eyes feel heavy, she needs to sleep. This past week has been exhausting.

Maddox notices how worn out she is. She’ll be no good to him if she’s a mopey, tired slug. So he brings her upstairs to the main bedroom. The bed is dusty but it’ll have to make do.

“You’ll sleep here sweetheart. But I’m gonna have to tie ya’ down. I don’t need ya’ escaping now.” Maddox ties a rope from the bed post to her ankle.

Y/n doesn’t even bother to yell or fight back from being tied down. She just falls asleep immediately like a hibernating bear. When she’s asleep Maddox unpacks some supplies down in the living room. He also cooks up a can of beans and digs in.

It’s quiet. All his life he’s been alone, but he’ll never admit he feels lonely. He’s never had anyone to trust or rely on. Most nights he’ll sleep under the stars and talk to Jasper. But he’s a horse so talking to him is one sided.

Even though Y/n is sleeping just upstairs he misses her. Misses her snarky comments, creative insults, and the way she smacks his chest when he gets too close.

“What are you doing to me woman..” The outlaw mutters to himself as he trudges himself up the creaky wooden stairs. He’s in front of her door and he opens it slowly, peeking his head in. But then he slams it open when he sees she’s gone.

“Y/n?” He shouts, looking around the room and searching every corner. She’s missing again! Maddox runs like a cat out of water as he searches the whole house. What if she got hurt!? He could never live with himself.

He kicks open the front door and looks around the property. What if the tribe found her and thought she was a threat? Every negative outcome of what could happen to her comes to his mind. Getting eaten by a coyote is a possibility too.

Maddox takes his hat off and grips his black hair.

“FUCK!” He shouts and kicks the dirt on the ground, the cloud of brown blowing with the wind. Maddox walks back to the house in defeat where he tells Jasper that Y/n’s gone, and she is never coming back. But the horse only exhales loudly and shakes his head back and forth.

“She’s gone buddy. I know you liked her but she’s probably dead in a fuckin’ ditch somewhere!” The man snaps.

Jasper slams his front leg down and neighs loudly. His nose is pointed up towards the house.

“What are ya’ on about you?” Jasper never behaved like this before unless he wanted to try and tell him something. He’s a smart horse, so any sound or motion me makes is usually when he tries to convey a message.

Maddox looks up at the house where Jasper is looking and squints his eyes. He puts his hat back on to cover his eyes from the beating sun. Looking closer he sees a familiar head of h/c hair on the roof!

“Y/n!?” Maddox says in disbelief. How the fuck did she get up there!? Does she even know she’s up there? Probably not.

“Shit boy, what do we do?” He turns to his horse. Jasper neighs louder and Maddox looks back up and sees that she’s about to fall off the roof!

“SHIT!”

Y/n turns in her sleep and falls off the roof. Maddox feels his heart drop and he breaks off into a sprint. Just before she hits the ground he catches her, making them both fall to the dirt.

“Y-You?” Y/n wakes up and sees she’s outside and that god forsaken outlaw is beneath her. His head is under her dress making her squeal and scramble away.

“W-What in the hell!? What do you think you’re doing? Why am I outside and why was your ugly mug up my dress!?”

Maddox groans and rubs his head. He turns to her with a glare and grabs her wrist, pulling her up.

“I ain’t ever takin’ my eye off you again! You ought to be a witch or somethin’!”

From that moment onward Maddox sleeps next to Y/n in a bone crushing cuddle. When he feels her move in the slightest he wakes up and tightens his hold. No way in hell will he let something like that happen again.

#yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #obsession #maddox graves #western #cowboy #request #reqs open

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dilfl0v3rss · 1 year

Note

Erwin x black reader = chef’s 💋

you right you righttttt. like how my name supposed to be dilf lovers if i’m not showing no love to the dilfssss

dilf!erwin who doesn’t actually have kids, but was always seen as a father figure to the ones in his neighborhood. whether it be playing basketball at the park with the teens or buying the little ones ice cream, dilf!erwin always made the kids happy.

dilf!erwin who all the moms swooned over, but he never really payed anyone any mind, until he met you…

you were picking up your little sister from elementary school when you saw him there. you had no idea who he was, but you knew none of the kids you’ve met before belonged to him. you were side eyeing him multiple times, labeling him as some type of creep by the way he was looking around with his hands in his pockets looking suspicious. he eventually caught you staring and took it a sign to approach you.

“uhh hi. is this the parent pickup area.”

the moms there were all whispering among themselves during your interaction with this man, acting as if he was some type of celebrity. you payed them no mind though, giving him another weird stare, still hesitant on telling him the truth just incase he was, in fact, a creep.

he smirked at you, chuckling a little before continuing.

“swear m’not a creep. just here to pick up my friends niece.” he held his hands up in defense before digging in his pockets for his phone. he then unlocked it before pointing it towards you. there he sat with the kid you’ve come to know as mikasa on what looked like her porch, ice cream cones in their hands as they made silly faces at the camera. you couldn’t contain your laughter, eventually stopping and giving the man a shy nod, feeling a little bad for giving him weird stares earlier.

“m’sorry about that. you can never be too safe these days.”

he nodded in understanding, waving his hand to let you know it wasn’t an issue.

“no no i get it. i could’ve been an actual weirdo and you would’ve been the only one to notice. no help t’these ladies. i could’ve been here to snatch up one of their kids and they wouldn’t of known a thing…too busy staring at my ass.”

he pointed to the ladies behind him with his thumb, giving them a small wave before turning back to you. the giggles that were coming from these grown women behind you would’ve made you think you were in high school again. you started laughing as the man rolled his eyes at the group of moms behind him.

“i’m erwin. erwin smith.” he held out his hand for you to shake, which you happily took.

“i’m y/n. it’s nice t’meet you.”

dilf!erwin who was filthy rich, but never looked like it. choosing to wear sweatsuits and white tees instead of tailored suits.

dilf!erwin who decided his money would be put to better use in your pocket rather than his.

“i-i can’t take this.” you say as you push the black card back towards the man in bed with you. the two of you have been having this thing going on for awhile now. sneaking away to each others houses in the middle of the night to fuck each others brains out before the neighborhood ladies could find out and bombarded you with questions.

“you’d put better use to it than i do. plus, i wanna see you in more of this.” he hooked his finger into the waistband of your lingerie before letting it snap back onto your brown skin. you eventually take the card, but still only use if for an occasional coffee or gifts for him.

dilf!erwin who gets jealous very easily, seeing you as his and his alone. so when he’d see the other college boys approaching you to try to get your number he couldn’t help but make it known you were his right then and there. giving you a small “hey love” in the middle of park before tonguing you down right in front of them, earning loud gasps from everyone there.

dilf!erwin who didn’t really care about what the neighborhood moms thought of him, knowing half of them probably cheat on their husbands with the pool boys anyways.

dilf!erwin who never saw himself having kids of his own until he start fucking wit you. every time he saw a pregnant woman he’d get to thinking about how pretty you’d look like that. stomach swole with his child as you wobbled around his house. it made him hard just thinking about it.

dilf!erwin who decided to stop pulling out, trying to knock you up as soon as possible so he can have a kid of his own.

“f-fuck daddy m’gonna cum” your arms were held behind your back by each of his hands, pulling your chest from the bed as he pounded into you from behind. “go ahead baby m’still not stopping.” the tight coil in your stomach began to snap for the third time tonight and your boyfriend still didn’t let up, continuing his fast pace before flipping you over and shoving all nine inches of himself back into you.

“w-why are y-you f-fucking me like t-thissss?” you had no idea on what has gotten into him for you to be getting fucked like this, but you honestly weren’t complaining. your lover put his large hand around your neck, squeezing the sides as he watched your eyes roll back. “because daddy loves you so much fuck- he’s gon give you a baby. want you all swollen and chubby wit my kid in you and this is the easiest way t’do it.” you couldn’t even register his words over the loud *plap plap plaps* of his hips slapping against your thighs.

“now just relax and let daddy work princess. still got two more loads t’give you before i can let you sleep.”

dilf!erwin is the best

#erwin smith #aot x black reader #erwin smut #erwin x black!reader #erwin x reader

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jake-g-lockley · 1 year

Note

hi! i saw joel miller but only if i ask nicely so pretty pretty please joel miller and prompt #19

Falling Into Place (Joel Miller x reader)

Masterlist | Wanna be tagged?

Prompt: ARGUING!!! Then a heated “kiss me.” and suddenly their hands are all over each other.

A/N: Hey there nonnie! Thank you so much for the ask! I’m so sorry this took so long ahahah, I was a little stuck with Joel ngl. I hope you don’t mind me changing the prompt a little bit cuz I’ve written this prompt too many times hahahah. Anyway, here’s sweet and soft Joel, enough to warm your heart and brain. (Also a little thank you to @lil-stark and @campingwiththecharmings for aiding in my quest for fluffy goodness).

Warnings: MDNI, smut, very public sex, fingering, unprotected p in v, biting and marking, Joel is a lil thief, alcohol is involved, pre-outbreak.

Word Count: 3.9 k

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You don’t really know how you became friends with Joel Miller.

It feels a little out of place whenever you hang out with the tall, dark and handsome man and you can’t help but feel like he’d much rather chat with his buddies over some beer.

You had asked him to help you out when you moved into the neighbourhood, and he used his carpentry skills to build you a new shelf that you had designed. You babysitting (or teenage sitting) Sarah certainly drew the both of you closer and Joel found it absolutely endearing when Sarah wanted to spend more time with you. You found yourself keening towards his senses of humour and sarcasm, your heart warming at the way he treated his daughter.

Joel Miller was most definitely your type, his brown curls and matured face made you feel things that you wanted to thoroughly forget. You knew he had a heart of gold and a smile to match, but it only made you fall into a deeper hole, one that you knew was going to take forever to dig yourself out of. So you kept it strictly platonic with Joel, building a friendship like no other with him, stuffing all of your feelings for him in a bag and throwing it into your box of problems you want to put away.

In your horrible efforts to stuff your feelings for Joel away, you didn’t notice how head over heels in love with you he was. Joel looked at you as if you brought the sun with you wherever you went, his entire demeanour changing whenever you were around. Sarah, the ever attentive daughter sat and watched as her father failed at trying to convey his feelings.

The first time she pointed it out, Joel got defensive.

“Come on, you’d have to be blind if you think we all don’t notice!” Sarah sighed as her father furiously shook his head.

“Who’s ‘we all’ ?” Joel grumbled, his eyes shifting to his brother who at that second decided that it would be a great time to go for a drive.

After a while of denying, Joel caved hard and decided to ask Sarah for help. He was afraid. The last thing he wanted was to lose a woman like you.

“You’re already doing everything right, Dad. You now just have to find out whether he feels the same.” Sarah said over dinner one day.

For weeks he had been trying to figure out what to do, until one day when you and he went to pick Sarah from school.

“Dad, I need you to sign the consent form for the camping trip.” Sarah said before Joel could even pull out of the parking lot.

“Oh! A camping trip! You’re gonna have so much fun, Sarah.”you piped up before Joel even thought of digressing.

“Do you like camping?” Sarah asked, resting her arms on the seats in front of her, her curly hair brushing your temple.

“Hmm, I’m more of a picnic girl, you know, food in the sunshine with a soft fluffy blanket under you.” You say nonchalantly and Sarah smiled.

A thought crossed her mind and she looked into the rear view mirror, only to see her father staring at her, wide-eyed. Sometimes Sarah wondered whether her dad knew what she was thinking, but this moment just confirmed that the two of them shared the same brain cell. Her smile widened and Joel shook his head slightly, trying not to draw your attention.

Sarah sat back into the back seat, her arms folded as she contained her excitement. All she had to do now is to convince Joel to let her do the planning.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Joel took a deep breath as he loaded the last of the things into his truck, covering them with an inconspicuous tarp so that you wouldn’t guess what he was up to. He smoothed down the clothes Sarah had picked out for him and started for your front door. His nerves were already on edge. He knew that you would come with him, but it was more the matter of whether you liked what he and Sarah had planned for you.

Sarah gave him some last minute tips before leaving for camp the day before. She threatened him that he wouldn’t see the light if he didn’t open his mouth and confessed to you over the picnic.

“You are coming back with a girlfriend, old man. If not, you are not coming back at all.” she had huffed, folding the blanket that she picked out for him.

His hand shook slightly as he raised it to ring the doorbell, waiting with baited breath until he heard your footsteps. You swung the door open and beamed at him, the morning fog and the dim lighting kickstarting Joel’s worn out heart as he stares at you. Your hair was in a bird’s nest style and you brought your hands to the top of your head to attempt to tame it. Joel started to dissociate, wondering whether he could experience this hairstyle first hand every morning.

“Joel?” Your voice brought him back from his little daydream and he smiled softly at you.

“Meet me at my place in about 20 minutes, I’m taking you somewhere. Wear something comfortable.” He blurted out before his nervousness took over and spoiled everything.

You stared at the man before you. He looked different, cuter. His dressing style was slightly different, and you wondered what the occasion was. He was wearing a white t-shirt with his jeans but he had a navy blue button down shirt that he used as a jacket and you couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked.

You nodded and closed the door, running for your room as soon as you heard him descending the patio. You were there in 15 minutes, the fastest you’d ever gotten ready. Joel opened the door as soon as you knocked, only to be absolutely blown away from the dress you were wearing. You had chosen your favourite simple white sundress with puffed sleeves and accessorised with a pretty navy blue bow in your hair. Your burgundy lipstick topped everything off and Joel was in absolute awe, making you look up at him curiously.

It wasn’t the inconspicuous tarp in the back of his truck that made you think Joel Miller was going to kidnap you and kill you, it was when he handed you a blindfold and a pair of headphones.

“Please, I know this is weird but you have to trust me.” He pleaded, his brown eyes big.

Those eyes were going to get you killed one day. You gave in and put it on. Joel drove for a few minutes and then he stopped, tapping your hand reassuringly. You decided to trust him, he had nothing but purity in his eyes when he looked at you. Besides what was the worst that could happen?

Joel’s hand wrapped around your wrist after a while, startling you. He gently removed the headphones and took your hand in his.

“Alright, it’s ready, I’m going to walk you out of the truck, ‘kay?” He whispered and you nodded.

You followed him as he pulled you out, your heels settling on what seemed like grass. He walked you a distance away from the car and when he stopped, he gently tugged at the blindfold, letting it fall and revealing his surprise. As your eyes adjust to the light, you’re absolutely stunned. Before you lay a large blanket with pillows and a large picnic basket. Food, fruits and alcohol poked out of the basket and the scenery was absolutely delightful.

You turned to Joel in shock and he was chewing his bottom lip in anticipation for your reaction. He looked so beautiful like this, the green grass giving him a perfect backdrop.

“Shit Joel! This is beautiful!” You squealed, stumbling towards him for a hug.

Joel was smiling so hard that he didn’t realise that you were hugging him. He found himself melting into your soft grasp, soaking up the way you held him. He took hold of your hand and guided you onto the blanket, watching as you sat down and tucked the hem of your dress under your legs. He followed suit and began to dish out food and wine for you. The both of you talked and drank, totally oblivious to the rest of the world as the sun rose higher and higher into the sky.

The both of you were considerably tipsy as the wine from the wine bottles evaporated quickly. Joel was fully laying down, a glass of wine balancing on his wide chest. You glanced at the hot Texan sun and reached into your bag, pulling out your bottle of sunscreen to reapply. You were lathering the product all over your arms when you noticed Joel was looking at you, his nose scrunched up and lips pursed as if he were going to say something.

“What? Want some?” you ask, holding out the bottle.

“Pft sunscreen? Please, I'm a man.” Joel scoffed, downing the rest of his wine and setting the glass side.

You raised your eyebrow at him as if he said something absolutely ridiculous.

“Well the sun is non discriminatory and it doesn’t care what gender you are, it still will give you skin cancer!” you say, wiggling the bottle over his face.

Joel rolled his eyes and you decided to take matters into your own hands. You put a blob of sunscreen on your finger and try to swipe it on his face, only to have Joel dodge you. He grabbed your hands with a laugh and tried to take the bottle away from you but when he did, he stumbled and pushed you down, landing on top of you and pinning you down. He snatches the bottle of sunscreen with a grin but your determination got the best of you.

In your sundress, you flip Joel over and he lands on his back with a thud and a light groan. His eyes widened as you sat properly on his chest, pinning his arms down with your legs. Joel felt something steer in him as he gulped and suddenly he didn’t care about the sunscreen, not even the smug look on your face as you began to put the sunscreen on his face. He watched as you slowly let go of his arms, raising his arms to rub sunscreen on them and once he felt like your guard was let down, he decided to strike.

You then found yourself staring up at Joel, your hair splayed everywhere and your breathing quickening. Joel was on his knees, bracketing your body, his hands on either side of your head.

“You're gonna pay for that, sweetheart.” Joel huffed.

“A little sunscreen hurting the big bad man? Boo hoo dummy!” You say, despite how fast your heart was racing at the term of endearment leaving his lips.

“You're the one who's scared of the sun!!”

“You clearly don’t read, Joel Miller!”

“Right as if you can read anything, pretty girl.”

“I CAN DUMBASS”

“YEA RIGHT, SO READ THIS!”

Before you could register what Joel meant, he dives down and his lips are suddenly connected with yours, effectively silencing you. He kisses you hard, his hand cupping your cheek as you arched your back so that your chest pressed against his, kissing him back with equal fervour. He pulled back after a few seconds, and his lips were as red as his pretty cheeks, tainted with your burgundy lipstick.

You huffed out a few puffs of breath before saying the only thing that came to your drunk-addled mind.

“I thought manly men hated girly girl things. Why the hell are you wearing my lipstick then?”

Joel was taken aback by your reaction, clearly not expecting how nonchalant you were. You reached up and touched his lips, swiping the plump pout and showing him the transfer with a grin. Joel smiled but suddenly a wave of insecurity rushed over him, evident on his face.

“What’s wrong, Joel.” you say quickly, wondering if your little joke rubbed him wrong.

“Are we doing this because we're drunk?” he whispered, peering down at you.

The panic instantly faded from your body, replaced with quaint relief.

“Joel, you big dummy, I’ve been wanting to kiss you since forever. I promise that I’d do it again and again as sober as a judge.” Your words brought a relieved grin on Joel’s face.

You slid your hands to his chest and gently pushed him off you, patting the space beside you.

“Lay down, let me show you.” you whisper.

He obeys, guiding you as you straddle his body once again. You frame his face with your hands, gently carding your fingers through his curls, twisting them slightly, enjoying how his eyes flutter slightly.

“Here’s that brilliant brain of yours, bringing my ideas to life.” You whispered, planting a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“These beautiful lines hold so many memories and I hope to make more with you.” you kiss the crows feet at the edges of his eyes.

“I’ve always wanted to pinch your cheeks, so full of life.” you kissed his bouncy cheeks before pinching them gently.

“Your adorable ears, the ones that listen to me ramble without fail.” you kiss both of his ears and Joel melts further into the blanket below him.

“Your chocolate eyes, better than any delectable treat I can dream of.” you left feathery kisses on his eyelids.

“Your amazing lips, carrying your beautiful smile and your even more beautiful words.” you kiss his chin and his lips.

Then you slowly traced his nose with the palm of your hand, your fingers tickled by his eyelashes on either side. You bend down and gently kiss the tip of his nose, before nipping it slightly with your teeth, giggling. You pulled away to see the radiant smile on Joel’s face, which had lighted up like a firework.

“Wait, what about my nose?” he whispered, and you couldn’t help but blush and grin shyly.

“You’ll find out later.” you whispered back and Joel felt a rush like no other as his cheeks heated up too.

Joel brings his head up and kisses you, pushing you and turning slightly, so that the both of you are on your sides. His hands gripped at your hips hard before coiling around your waist and pulling you ever so close, crushing every bone that existed in your body. You whine into the kiss, your arm looped itself around his neck and your free hand combs up his soft curls for purchase.

Joel surprises you by biting your bottom lip and tugging it slightly, pulling a gut wrenching moan from you. Joel went back to kissing you, licking into your mouth as he desperately felt the urge to hear that sound again. He pushes you down fully and breaks the kiss, kissing your chin before planting kisses as soft as cotton onto your neck.

You arched your back again and Joel took his chance to attack. He started his assault on your neck, kissing, biting and sucking in a pattern that had you writhing against him, grinding his hips down to meet yours. His hands couldn’t seem to let go of you, as if he was absolutely hopeless without the feeling of you. Your hands bunched up the back of his navy shirt, crumpling the material as you fisted it hard. The sounds that escaped your lips made Joel growl against your neck, at the same time where the bulge at his jeans caught your heated core, which made you gasp. Joel pulls away at the sound of your gasp and you look up at him with wide eyes. You had the words at the tip of your tongue but you had difficulty conveying it with how you were breathing.

Joel looked down your body, to where your dress had hiked up, exposing a lovely lacey thing that covered you. The strain at his jeans grew more tight and his heart and mind raced.

“Joel, I need it. I need you, please, baby. Give me whatever you have.” you whisper, clutching at your chest.

“Fuck, sweetheart, let me take care of you.” He groans, shifting you slightly so that his body shielded you.

He pulled your dress up a little more before sliding his hands down your body, taking in the curve of your figure and the plush of your skin. He cupped his hand at your mound and you whined, bucking your hips up to meet his hand as his other hand snapped the band of your panties at your hip bone.

“Shh, baby, relax.” He whispered before lifting your hips and pulling your panties down before stuffing them into his back pocket.

You keened as the outdoor air hit your already soaking pussy. Joel dipped his finger in your folds, absolutely mesmerised by how wet you were already.

“Good lord, you’re already dripping and I haven’t even properly had my way with you.” He pushes one finger through and you swear you almost lost consciousness with how you let the air escape your lungs.

“Joel, please.” You needed something else or else you were going to lose it like a mad woman.

“Patience, pretty girl. I need to stretch you open first, don’t know if it's gonna fit in your perfect pussy.” Joel purrs as he inserts another finger and pumps them in and out, your slick making it easy.

You bit down hard on your bottom lip, breathing hard and Joel immediately chastised you.

“Nuh uh, sweetheart I need to hear you, let go of that lip, that's right.” his Southern drawl makes your mouth drop open and the symphony of noise starts again.

He hooks his fingers and hits that perfect spot, arousal bubbling hard at your abdomen as your back arches off the blanket and your chest puffs out. You were absolutely turned on by the situation, having your first with Joel out in broad daylight. One of your tits jiggle out of the confines of your low cut dress, making Joel grin down at you, letting his free hand slide and capture it, squeezing down at the pressure in which he hits your g-spot again.

“So fucking beautiful, wanted you for so long, angel.” He moans, pulling his fingers out and slipping them into his mouth as your hands undo his belt and his jeans.

Your eyes stayed on his as he sucked your arousal off his fingers. He spit onto his hand before taking over and pulling his cock out of boxers. You gaped at the size of him and realised that he wasn’t just bragging when he said that it’d be a tight fit. He fisted his hardened member a few times, tipping his head back as he squeezed the tip a little.

“Baby, I don’t have a condom.” He says and you swear your whole demeanour lights up.

You realised that he truly didn’t intend for this to happen and he wanted you to enjoy your picnic. He certainly wasn’t complaining now with how hard his cock is and you weren’t either as your pussy clenched around nothing.

“That’s ok, I want to feel you. Only if you’re okay with it.” You tell him shyly and Joel swore that Christmas had come early for him.

He nodded silently and he braced himself with his arm as he pushed himself against your entrance, running his cock up and down your slit, catching your clit a few times.

“Inside, Joel, want you to fill me up, with your cock, your cum, your everything.” You slurred slightly the arousal making you stupid and all you could think of was getting your fix from the handsome man above you.

Joel slips inside you with a groan and you hiss at the burn. You’ve never had someone so big and your eyes teared at the stretch. Joel, as attentive as ever, stopped in his tracks, his eyes searching yours. He was terrified, terrified of hurting you as he speared you hard.

“It's ok Joel, it’ll be ok, move baby.” You smoothed your hand up and down his arm and he obliged.

Your movements stopped and you were now gripping hard at his biceps as Joel slowly bottoms out, grinding as his pubic hair tickled your clit. You were absolutely dizzy with delight, your head lolling as you smiled up at Joel.

“Not gonna last, your pussy’s so tight.” He breaths.

“We come together, baby.” You urged as the sting dissipates and the pleasure waves started coming in.

At first Joel had control, the slow drag of his cock creating the most beautiful feeling in you. You felt so close like this, with him in you, your pleasure morphing into the feelings that you had pushed away, making you realise that you actually love this man.

It was when Joel’s thumb found your clit when all hell broke loose. He started pistoning his hips, his free hand finding your wrists and pinning them over your head. You pulled your wrist out of his grasp as he fucked into you faster before lacing your fingers with his.

“Ungh, Joel, just like that, ungh, fuck me, fuck me, fuck, ungh.” You babbled as your grip tightened.

Joel could almost cry at how beautifully you were taking him, your whole body shaking as your moans echoed with his grunts in the empty valley. His thrusts were on the cusp of being sloppy as he felt his pleasure catch up with him. His thumb at your clit was a little too much and the bubbling pleasure boiled over as drool seeped from your mouth.

Joel licked your saliva and kissed you hard as you came undone, breaking it off to see your face contort as you came hard, your arousal gushing around his cock. Just at the sight of you cumming, Joel’s pleasure got the best of him and he thrusted hard, pumping a generous load of cum deep inside of you as you milked him with how your pussy was still clenching hard.

“Fuck, I love you! Pretty, pretty sweetheart, all mine.” Joel babbled too and the words hit you like a truck, prolonging your orgasm.

Joel slumped against you, kissing your neck softly as the both of you basked in the sun and the glow of the mind altering sex.

“I can’t believe you kissed me.” You say out loud and Joel brings his face out of your neck, an exasperated look adorning his handsome features.

“You’re telling me that I stuffed you full of my cum, told you I love you and you’re still thinking about the kiss, darling?” He huffed and your face blazed at his dirty mouth.

“T’was a good kiss.” You mumbled as Joel laughed and grabbed a few napkins before gently pulling out.

“I love you too, by the way.” You say and Joel’s cheeks flushed pink.

He bent down and kissed your forehead, nose and lips before cleaning you up.

“Why don’t I clean you up and we can go home and I’ll show you how good I kiss you and how much I love you. Maybe I can put my nose to use this time.” He winked at you as he pulled your dress back into place, casually forgetting to return your panties.

Your face heated up as he gathered you in his arms and walked you to his truck, finally feeling like you had found your true home.

Tagging: @wolfbook87 @bodhisattva11 @nyotamalfoy @whatsliferightnow @minigirl87 @alexxavicry @marygraceee @bloodredwolfsbane @euphoricosmo @violet-19999 @celiaswife @kierramofficial @ryebreadsworld @your-voice-is-mellifluous @lil-stark @absolutelybloodyhopeless @mintpurplemnm @bubblezuku @cookielovesbook-akie @mandoloriancookie @magic-schoolbusdropout @anony-muse @anonymously35 @nerdreader

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toruro · 9 months

Note

hi mika:3 i have an idea slash request (or a thot bcs i wanna here ur input wtv ur more comfy with) thats rotted my brain for like months esp since minghao hosted that expensive ass monthly meeting…. but minghao fucking you on the cold glass windows of the penthouse he paid for for a night or a few overlooking the city 👩‍💻💿

(p.s. ive been waiting to share this idea with u if u opened back up ur requests bcs i wouldnt want to lend it to any other author 😭💋)

mile high club ... ?

pairing. minghao x reader tags. smut (18+ / mdni), fluff w/c. a/n. i almost teared up reading this. i am gutted. the fact that u wanted to share this w me and ME ONLY?!>!? i love u so much :[

you should've known. should've known that your sneaky little fiance was up to something when he gave you that sweet, sweet smile and told you to put on your prettiest dress and your prettiest heels this evening. should've known he was planning on treating you to something a little bit bigger than just dinner.

you're still not sure why it came as a surprise to you when minghao took you by the hand and whisked you away from the restaurant you two had just dined in, and took you on a long drive under the cool night sky.

giggles and looks from the corner of your eyes, you noticed that minghao took you down a road which you didn't recognize as 'on the way home.'

"baby, where're we going?" you asked him lazily. the windows were ajar and the evening winds blew through his black hair as minghao focuses on the road. you grin at the sight, reminding yourself to tell him later to cut his hair less often.

smirking, hao smooths a hand over your bare thigh, caressing the skin with his thumb. "you'll see baby, you'll see."

and see, you most definitely did.

it didn't take long for him to pull up in front of one of the fanciest hotels in downtown, shushing all your questions as he excitedly helped you into the glass elevator that overlooked the city, taking you all the way up to the top floor despite your questions.

"hao, what is this about?" you attempted to ask through muffled giggles as he pressed kisses against your lips as an attempt to keep you quiet.

"just look," he muttered, pulling away so he could key in some code on the final floor. what lay behind the door was the massive layout of the hotel penthouse, large windows that showed off the glittering, buzzing lights of the city around you.

as you make your way to one of the wide glass panes, looking down and over the sight. minghao carefully follows behind as you mutter out words of thanks and praise for finding such a beautiful space ... "so pretty hao, i love it ..."

there he is now, digging his face into your neck as he wraps his arms around you from behind. lips and tongue trace over your shoulder blade as you melt into minghao's arms, head lolling to one side to make it easer for him to reach his favorite spots.

his arm snakes down between your legs, digging under the painfully high cut dress you've got on (minghao says 'painfully high cut' not because it was painful for you but because it made him so fucking hard it hurt).

you moan the second his deft fingers brush over the lacy clothe of your panties, playing with your cute 'n' sensitive clit as your legs begin to lose their stability. and fuck, minghao hadn't even had the chance to slip his tie off before you press your ass over his clothed cock, murmuring about how you gotta have him right now ...

"gotta prep you first baby ..." he tries to mutter in your ear, words drying on his tongue when you press behind and into his crotch harder.

"wan' it now," you whimper, one hand falling forward to press against the cool glass of the windows, the other reaching back to latch onto minghao's and play with the hair at the nape of his neck. so hot and sticky, minghao pressing your head forwards so your cheek's against the glass, hot air blowing steam on the windows ...

clanking of belts and popping of buttons as he quickly shoves his pants down, weeping cock springing out and hitting your ass over your dress ... fuck, your dress. you just look so pretty with your back arching upon his touch, short cloth running higher up your thighs until he can see the peek of your lacy white panties.

minghao just can't hold himself back, the way you call for him so prettily and so he's shoving your dress up 'n' over your ass, scooping one finger through the fabric of your panties so he can yank them to the side ... his cock's leaking all over you by now, precum smearing over the plush skin of your ass.

and with heavy breaths rumbling in his throat, high and breathy whines slipping from yours, minghao slips his throbbing cock into the fluttering walls of your cunt ... hugging hao's fat length so nicely his fingers might burn bruises into your hip from holding too tight (lip sucked between his teeth as he chokes back moans).

his thrusts start quick, each one dragging out of your warm folds slowly before ramming back into you in one go. your body lurches against the window, has pressed against the smooth surface as you try to hold on, try not to lose yourself to the way hao's fucking the life out of you over the city ...

feels so good, and you can't help the way you whimper whenever his skin slaps against yours, firm grip pulling you back into his hips for an other jostling thrust ... "feels s'good baby," hao rasps from behind you, leaning forward to press his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in you scent and watching the view from next to you.

the scene's so pretty and you're moaning his name so cutely when he pounds into you from behind, throttling with every snap of his hips ... tits pressed into the glass as he snakes a hand over your stomach and fuck, hao's so grateful. so fucking grateful, and so he's whispering praise into your ear ... "you're so pretty like this ... pretty thing with a pretty view ..." and it's got your brain buzzing like crazy.

your orgasm is creeping up on you, so best believe you hold on tight. can't have you falling asleep already, right? after all, seeing you all pressed up against the steamy glass has the gears in hao's mind spurring, and you'd be a fool to think he wouldn't fuck you on every surface of the room until your cute cunt's fucked raw and spilling with his cum ...

#minghao x reader #minghao smut #xu minghao x reader #xu minghao smut #svt smut #seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #💌 drabbles #answered #✰ 💿 anon

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basichextechml · 2 years

Text

Beaded Curtains

Eddie Munson/Afab!Reader

Rating: Explicit // 5.8K words // Sub!Eddie, Dom!Reader, Pegging, Anal Sex, Porn Watching

Maybe accepting a sketchy vhs from Robin wasn’t your smartest move.

Or maybe it was.

A/n // I wanted to fuck this man. And not in the conventional sense. also shoutout to my baby girl @storiumemporium for being my beta 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

NSFW under the cut!

---

“Alright so this isn’t what you think it is-”

“You’re handing me porn.”

“Well, yes-” Robin struggled to explain, a vhs extended towards you.

You mentally scolded yourself for thinking ‘oh, I’ll just visit my friends at work, keep them company. This is a good idea’. You never imagined you’d come in and find yourself absconded by your best friend, chucked past the beaded curtain in the back and come face to face with the smallest adult film selection in Indiana. You should’ve just been a bad friend, moron. “But it’s not like- okay I’m starting over.”

You nod as if this conversation was anywhere near normal, eyes averted from the cover of the vhs where a woman nude from the waist up gazes up at you.

“So I was watching this, right, and the guy looks like Eddie so I had to stop,” She said, rattling the case towards you as if that answered anything.

Your brain was blank, your brows furrowed in confusion, and the only thing you could think to process was- “why were you watching porn?”

Robin deadpanned, looking at you as if you were stupid, “Oh I’m sorry I was unaware that fucking Hawkins, Indiana became a hotspot for lesbians. I like looking at the women in them.” She drawled, shoving the tape into your hands. Symbolically, it felt heavy, realistically, it was actually pretty light- and what the fuck were you gonna do with it? Luckily, Robin was telepathically linked with you in some weird way, answering the question without you having to voice your confusion. “Listen, I dunno man, you’re always talking about the new stuff you’re trying- so I thought maybe you’d wanna watch it with him?”

“Awwww.” You coo, “It’s so sweet how you look out for my sex life.”

Robin laughs, turning you around by the shoulder and pushing you past the beaded curtain back into Parentally Guided society, “Yep, it’s all part of my masterplan- get you so satisfied you stop talking to me about it. Now get out of here, my fifteen minutes are up.”

“Don’t I have to check this out?” You ask, but she’s still shoving you out the door, the heels of your boots digging into the gravel outside.

“Already did it, and I won’t even charge you a late fee,” she says, winking, before promptly shutting the door in your face. You bark out a laugh in the middle of the practically empty parking lot, a porno in your hands.

As you shut the door to your car, throwing the tape in the passenger seat, you hummed to yourself, eyeing the back of the tape. No sign of a man on it. Fuck, your curiosity was peaked. Did you really have to watch it? The subconscious part of your brain had already decided that for you apparently, pulling out of your parking spot and starting on the road down to Eddie’s house.

Guess you were watching porn.

---

Using your extra key to unlock the door to Eddie’s trailer, you ignored the baffled look on his face as you stormed in, quickly scanning the room and checking the bathroom to make sure that Wayne was gone. When the older man was nowhere in sight, you went around the entire trailer closing the blinds.

“Uh-” Eddie called out, looking up from where he was stationed on the couch to watch you tottle about, “nice to see you too, doll. You good?”

“What? Yeah, I'm fine- what makes you think I’m not fine?”

He gets up to pull your fingers away from where they’re fiddling with a window latch, “oh I dunno. You’re twitching by the way”

Huffing, you take up his spot on the couch, settling into the dent he had made for himself and pulling the vhs tape out of your bag to throw at him. Ignoring the way he fumbled before finally grabbing the box, you distracted yourself with the chips he had abandoned. Pointedly not looking as the couch dipped beside you, your breath hitched as he flipped the box around in his hands, the sleeve crinkling. “Didn’t think this was your style sweetheart, how come you didn’t clue me in sooner?”

He was mocking you, the little shit.

You narrowed your eyes, turning to look at the teasing grin your boyfriend was giving you. But if you looked close enough, a certain haziness clouded his eyes. “Robin gave it to me.”

“Oh? Should I feel threatened by Buckley?”

“She said the guy in it looked like you, so she gave it to me.” You said, taking the tape back from him and moving off the couch- whatever confidence you had mustered pushes you towards the tv to sit in front of it, fiddling with the box before popping it open. “I was hoping that we could watch it together?”

You didn’t have to turn around to know what sort of expression Eddie had on his face, you could imagine it from the small groan he let out, and the rustle of the couch from him sliding down and spreading his legs to relieve the pressure his sweatpants put on him. The VCR clicks as it accepts the tape, and you grab the remote on your way back to the couch. Eddie accepts you with open arms, practically pulling you into his lap as you get settled, his arm curving around your waist and his hand finding its home high up on your inner thigh, squeezing you as the film started.

“Holy shit.” You swore, mouth open in shock. “He really does look like you.” Pulling back from Eddie’s chest, the scrunched expression on his face made you laugh.

“I don’t look like that.”

“You totally fucking do.”

Of course, it wasn’t uncanny, but the similarities were there. The same long, shaggy brown hair, the big brown eyes. The actor's lips were a bit smaller, his face a bit rounder, but if you squinted you could definitely see why Robin felt the need to turn it off. “Hmm, I must say though,” You drawled, leaning up to kiss the curve of his jaw, “I think you’re much more handsome.”

The look he gave you was electric, lips pursed to a smile as he nosed at your hairline before giving you your own kiss, “Oh do you now?”

Your response was cut short by a moan on screen, only realizing that you both had been neglecting the film. Your gaze flickered back to the tv before-

What?

What the fuck?

It wasn’t like anything you’d ever seen before, your eyes glued to the screen as the woman who had been on the cover of the tape loomed over her male counterpart, one hand spreading him open as the other glistened in the low-light, working in and out of his ass.

“Fuck sweets,” Eddie chokes out, his grip on your thigh tightening, the metal of his rings digging into your skin “Didn’t know you wanted to swap-”

“I didn’t know!” You lurched for the remote that sat just far enough out of your reach to be comfortable, attempting to grab it, but Eddie’s arm stayed firm around your waist, keeping you in place on his lap. “Eddie let go- oh my god-” The moans the man on screen kept letting out became exponentially louder, and the fact that he looked like Eddie was really throwing you off- because his partner was practically bending him in half.

The camera zoomed in on the space where the actors connected, a flesh colored dildo attached to the woman by a harness, the lube that coated it shining and squelching between their bodies as they moaned. Eddie’s hand once again squeezed down on the meat of your thigh, a squeak of surprise squirming from between your lips as you jolted, legs coming together and pinching at Eddie’s fingers. It was only then did you notice the ache inside of you.

You didn’t even know that- that people could do that.

“Don’t hurt yourself thinking, I can practically hear the cogs turning in there,” Eddie mumbled, low and close to your ear. That wasn’t fucking helping. “You into this doll?”

Though you didn’t respond, Eddie could tell you were, in fact, into what was happening. The way your pupils blew out, the clench of your thighs, the pure heat rolling off of you in waves. There was confusion too, and if he thought about it, that was to be expected. It’s not like you were innocent when you both met, it just didn’t occur to you that something like this was an option. You didn’t think to ask, didn’t know where to look.

Now you did, and by the way Eddie was pawing at your sides, he would definitely be up to help.

He watched as you bit your lip, and excitement bubbling deep within him as you finally drew away from the acts on screen, looking up at him in hesitance. But you trusted him. This was your Eddie, you knew he’d never make fun of you for being… into something out of the ordinary. It was practically his social brand.

“Yeah,” You said, a lilt to your voice, a wavering confidence you hadn’t yet fortified. “Yeah I think I’m into it.”

Like a cat that caught the canary, Eddie grinned, leaning down to kiss against your neck, basking in the way your breath hitched and your body melted. “You maybe wanna try it? I’m all up for you manhandling me, sugartits.”

Snorting, you pulled away, your nerves fizzling out as you held your boyfriend at arms length, “If you ever fucking call me that again, we’re not doing anything.” Finally grabbing the remote, you pressed the off button, throwing it somewhere else across the couch. Mentally reminding yourself to not forget the tape when you left, you turned back to Eddie. “But yeah, I think… I think I might wanna try something like that.”

---

You fucking hated driving- and you fucking hated that in order to get anything, you had to drive all over fucking Indiana to fucking find it.

You had driven four hours to Bloomington. Four.

Cranking the AC, you glared at the huge, black, nondescript, plastic bag in your passenger seat. Finding everything you needed was hard. Finding the right stuff was even harder. Eddie had told you some things- stuff he’d seen in magazines, tidbits of things he’d learned by himself. You’d, of course, done your own research, a fair share of time spent in the anatomy section of the library, browsing through magazines- fuck, you even wrote to an advice column that you’d found in a BDSM magazine, and man, was it difficult to even find where they sold those things. Thank god for anonymity. But it was all culminating at this very moment. Four hours away from home, in fucking Bloomington.

As you merged onto the freeway, the world’s worst road trip looming on the horizon, you managed your breathing and thought of what you were doing this for.

Your really, really cute boyfriend spread underneath you.

---

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, you think to yourself, back resting on Eddie’s bedroom door as your fingers fiddled with the lock. Eddie on the other hand didn’t seem to hold many reservations, digging through the plastic bag you had placed on his bed.

You had stopped home before coming over, freshening up, making sure everything fit, cleaning certain things. And now it was happening. You were gonna do this. Pushing off from the door, you sit down on the bed, looking into the bag alongside Eddie.

“I got the right stuff, right?” You ask. Eddie grins, holding up a bottle of lube.

“Sure did- how’d you know this brand was my favorite?” He goaded, dropping it back into the back before getting into your face. You scoffed, heat rising to the tips of your ears as he nudged your noses together, your hand pushing against his chest.

“Because you told me, jackass.” Enjoying the way he giggled, you feel your confidence returning, egged on by the hands greedily pulling you closer. His hair fanned out beneath him, taking a moment to appreciate it as you pressed your lips to his- well, that sounded gentle. It was more of a clash, something eager and familiar in a night that was bound to be anything but. Eddie let his hands roam, the heavy touch you craved petting over you, pressing into areas that made you keen, opening your mouth up for him just a little more. His fingers traced down your chest, migrating naturally to the edges of your shirt, beginning to tug it upwards.

He let out a whine of confusion as you pulled away, “I thought I was in charge tonight?” You question, keeping your hand firmly on his chest.

Now, million dollar question, was Eddie listening to the words you were saying? The answer was no- not when you were so utterly distracting. Your kiss bitten lips and ruffled hair drew his focus, the way your hands settled over his chest, your thighs squeezing his hips. A pitiful Huh? Is all he can manage.

Rolling your eyes you settle back on his lap, a firm look on your face. Eddie can feel his blood rushing south as you grip his wrists, pulling them from your waist and pinning them to the bed. “I’m in charge tonight.” You reiterate, despite his unfocused grin. The moment you let go of his hands, they’re back on you, tugging at your shirt and trailing up your thigh.

You suck on your teeth, obviously displeased as your boyfriend tries to lean up to nose at your neck. His back hits the bed again, opening his mouth to plead his case, the need to feel you still twitching at his fingertips, “C’mon sweetheart- I swear you can be in charge, scouts honor- Just lemme get that shirt off of you-”

Eddie’s snark was cute- if only because it showed off that he was just as, maybe more, nervous than you. The flicker of his eyes as they took in everything that was happening, occasionally darting to the black bag that still sat on the other side of the bed. The tips of his ears red hot, his tongue darting out to lick at his bottom lip. Fuck. He was so fucking cute. And despite his obvious conflictions, he jabbed “Thought you were in charge, doll- what’s the holdup?”

“For someone just meant to sit there and take it-” You drawl, grabbing his jaw to tilt it up, baring his neck to you, “-you’re talking quite a bit.” His pulse quickens, you can feel it beneath your tongue, laving at the artery at the side of his neck. A steady thrum of support to know that you were going in the right direction, that what you were doing was making him feel good. A pitched groan escaped him as you shifted in his lap, grinding your hips down onto his clothed dick. This part was familiar. A repeat of hazy summer nights or rainy afternoons. When you had time to take it slow.

The unfamiliarity would creep up soon, however. Crawling down your spine as your hands trailed up his, encouraging him to arch away from your touch so you could pull his shirt up. The faded, black material bunched around his armpits, his hands- having remembered the implied no touching rule- bunching up the sheets of his bed in anticipation. You paused for a moment, at a temporary loss. Normally, you were the one laid out beneath him like this. Racking your brain, you recalled your past endeavors.

What would Eddie do?

You made contact with his doe eyes, wide and blown with anticipation as you slowly lowered yourself, molding your chest to his stomach. He recognized this.

“You gonna-?” He asked breathlessly.

You hum, nodding your head as you blew lightly on the pink skin of his nipples, “ ‘m gonna play with your tits, alright pretty boy?” Your hands come up to grip at the little muscle he has in his chest, pushing it together in a way that he normally did to you. Eddie was sensitive- the feeling of your thumbs brushing over his nipples causing him to keen- his back to arch needily against your hold as you collected spit in your mouth. Your tongue, practiced and concise, brushed over his left nipple. The eye contact you held intensifies the stimulation of your mouth closing in on him.

“Ouch- fuck!” He curses, hips involuntarily bucking up into your clothed cunt. “I don’t bite you!”

“Yes you do, baby,” You reply cheekily, tongue tracing the divots your teeth had left in his pec, “leave me all sore and bruised, don’t you think it’s only fair?” You can feel the way he groans in response, the sound reverberating from his chest into your jaw. You hum, switching to his other pec, peppering it with little love bites as your hand slowly draws downwards. The lithe planes of white hot skin giving softly beneath your touch, grazing the beginning of Eddie’s happy trail. Your mouth quickly followed your hand, nipping at the sensitive skin of his ribs and kissing at his stomach. Pausing for a moment, your eyes flickered up to Eddie, waiting for any reticence- and when you found none, you pulled down the sweats he had on.

Leaning back on your knees, you take a deep breath, hands settling to the curve of where Eddie’s hips met his thighs. You pointedly ignored how his dick twitched at the somewhat tame contact. “Alright baby, uhm-” the plastic bag crinkled loudly as you reached for it, pulling out the plastic bottle of lube. “I really need you to tell me if I do something you don’t like, alright? Just say so at any point and we’ll stop, no matter what.”

Eddie’s light hearted laugh was nearly drowned out by the sound of the cap being popped, and the protective seal being peeled away. “Yeah, alright doll- I’ll tell you to stop doing something that’s got me harder than-” His sentence was cut by a warbled moan escaping his throat- your hand, slick and warm, wrapped tightly around the base of his dick.

“If you can’t be serious,” You said, your grip tightening ever so slightly, “Then we’ll stop, got it Eds?”

He let out a moan as you pumped him slightly, his head falling back as his words skipped, “Yeah- fuck- yes, I’ll tell you- ‘swear, so please just touch me.”

Well, since he had asked so nicely.

You began to pick up speed, wrist flicking on every upward stroke. The squelch of your touch was obscene, everything slicked and gliding, your thumb flicking up to play with the underside of his head in a way that you knew kept Eddie’s nerves alight. His skin was raised as your lips kissed the apex of his thighs, the lithe muscles flexing as you dipped lower. The whine he let out caused you to moan against him, heat spreading through your center as you sucked a hickey into the inside of his thigh, kissing at the sensitive skin. It released from the suction of your kiss with a pop as you mumbled softly.

“You can touch me now.”

Almost immediately, his hands let go of his sheets, coming down to caress the crown of your head, his hands shaking as your own gripped the bottom of his thighs, just below the curve of his ass. As you pitch his legs up, the crook of his knees falling to your shoulders, you look up.

Eddie’s eyes, filled with a haze of lust, search yours for any sort of apprehension- a que that maybe you didn’t want this as much as, seemingly, he did. You only smiled, something soft and placating, as your fingers trailed down his inner thigh and ghosted across his perineum. You took a deep breath.

“ ‘m starting now, okay?” You promised, and for the first time in maybe the entire time you’d known Eddie- he was silent.

It wasn’t as satisfying as it should’ve been, and deep in your chest, you had the primal urge to hear him cry.

Dipping your head down, you took him into your mouth, wrapping the tip against the plush of your lips and cradling it with your tongue. You can feel the legs on your shoulders relax, a shaky gasp crawling from Eddie’s lips- and only then, do you push your middle finger into him.

“Shit! Fuck-” Eddie yelps, thighs coming up to bracket your face as you panic. Sirens go off in your head- and even as you try to pull back, Eddie’s legs keep you firmly in place, his ankles locking together at the small of your back.

“I’m sorry!” You cry, hand stilling inside of him, warring with yourself internally as to if you should keep your finger inside, “Does it hurt? Do you want me to stop?”

Eddie groans, throwing his forearm over his face as his hips flex up into your finger. He’s warm around you, and you can feel him clench down, squeezing your finger in a way that lines up with his anxious breaths. “Nope,” He whines, “ ‘m peachy- it’s just- fuck, sweetheart, not used to having something up there.” Eddie takes a moment more, withdrawing his sweaty forearm from his face and threading his fingers through his bangs, his cheeks and forehead bright red.

He looks angelic.

You want to kiss him- but you know you can’t, with the angle you were in not very forgiving. So you just have to wait for his ok. The hand that isn’t currently up his ass comes up to massage his thigh, hoping to ease some of the tension.

“Alright-” He sighs, looking at you through his fingers, “I think ‘m good, think ‘m cool.”

“Yeah?” You giggle.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” and you begin to move again, wiggling your middle finger before slowly pulling out. You shift back, putting his hips on the bed as you push in again, building up a steady rhythm. You’re only spurred on by the noises Eddie’s making. High pitched, guttural groans as he grinds against the finger you’re giving him, tiny chants of Please, please, please, filling the air. Grabbing his left leg at the knee, you spread him wide- eyes lidded as they take in where you’re connected.

“So quiet, Eds,” You tease, curling your finger up, hoping the anatomy textbook you read hadn’t lied to you, “You take me however you please- but you’re crying at a single finger?”

“Fuck! Holy fucking fuck- there- right there, doll- oh my god-”

His hips buck into you, stuttering as he lets out a sharp, loud moan, the sound echoing off his bedroom walls. Your finger glides over a certain spot smoothly, and with every press his hips jolt, and his whines grow louder.

Your grin is saccharine and dripping as you pull your finger out again, only to press back in harder, the staccato of his moans filling your ego and sending it bursting through any inhibitions you may have had. He was feeling good. Really good- and you were the one making him feel that way.

Eddie felt the way you moved inside of him so sharply that he felt the movement was etched into him. Everytime you hit that- that spot- he felt like he couldn’t breathe, his legs going numb as you bent over him, the dim lighting of his room and the pleasure being inflicted upon him marring his vision as you dealt him little kisses.

The people of Hawkins thought him a cult leader. That wasn’t true in the slightest, even if he occasionally played into the notion. But maybe, with the nudge of your ring finger sliding into him along with your middle- he might actually become a cult leader. He’d definitely print shirts of your face. Maybe your hands.

“Feels good-” He finds himself babbling, fingers cupping your chin to bring you closer to him, words being spoken against your lips, “feels real good- is this what you feel like? When we- ohhh shit-”

Three.

You’re at three fingers.

“Not really, you’re much bigger than my fingers,” Your purr reverberates in his ear, the unexpected praise going straight to his dick, translucent pearls of precum rolling off his choked head and landing on his happy trail.

He can feel everything- hear everything- and it’s all getting mashed together until he gets tunnel vision on you. Your kind eyes, your mean grin- your fingers, glistening with lube working in and out, pressing on that spot over and over again. He can feel it in his nerves- lighting him on fire.

And despite it all- despite his brain melting- he bites out, “Well shit, doll. You holding out on me?”

Maybe it was a ploy to get you out of your clothes quicker. Maybe he really did want a taste of his own proverbial medicine. To feel how you felt when he carved himself into you, whispering dirty secrets or proclamations of love into your ears, your cheeks, your chest. You clamored off of him, muttering a curse as your foot caught on the edge of the bed, your shirt already being thrown to the floor.

Eddie somehow managed to move up to his pillows, moving them around some and falling back to watch you discard your last piece of clothing- your underwear.

The black plastic bag had been completely wiped off the bed as you pulled out a mass of leather and a sizable rectangular box. Untangling the harness, you began the attempt of pulling it on and adjusting it. It was… a learning curve.

“Don’t look at me. This is embarrassing,” You snapped, struggling with the straps. Eddie snorted, the sheets ruffling.

“I dunno, I kinda like my little mountain climber.” He quipped, narrowly dodging the dildo box you’d thrown at him. He knew by the click of everything coming together, that he was screwed- perhaps a little too literally. Whatever inkling of nervousness left in him fizzled out once you crawled back onto the bed, settling in front of him, your hands on his folded knees. “How do you want me, sweetheart?”

You thought back to the first time you’d ever felt like this. In this very bed. With this very person. The first time you had ever had sex with him.

He’d have to forgive you for emulating it now.

“I want you on your back.” You said finally, your hands crawling inwards to spread his legs a bit, keeping your eyes on his face.

“Yes ma’am.”

Rolling your eyes, you decided to let the jab slide, grabbing the lube that had been previously discarded at the end of the bed. Eddie chose to embrace the way you lubing yourself up really turned him on, kicking the back of your hips softly to get you to hurry up, impatient of a man as ever. Blessedly quiet was he as you lined up to his entrance, hand guiding you home as your other intertwined with his. You squeezed his hand reassuringly, thumb tracing over the back of his own as you mumbled encouragement through his grunts and whimpers, trying not to wince at the whines. Though, when he only had a little left to take, Eddie gasped sharply, your head snapping up to look at his glazed eyes and drooling mouth.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

He shook his head, hair slapping against his face and sticking to his cheeks from the sweat, “nuh uh.” He protested, bringing your joint hands down to his dick, “I just- fuck sweetheart- just need a sec, kay?”

Pumping him a couple times in reprieve, he relaxed for a moment, eyes fluttering closed, his legs untensing around you. Smooth in all senses, you finally slid the last inch in, grinding the harness of your hips slowly against him, heating rolling off of him in waves. A waterfall of desire pulling you closer to the man you loved as he got used to taking in all of you. Your eyes didn’t stray from the way he gripped you, hole clenching and unclenching around you.

You’d go insane, you decided, completely and utterly insane. Is this how Eddie felt? Watching you take him? All of him? You ground yourself against him a little harder, the roll of your hips causing him to twitch and yelp at the friction. How did he get anything done? You wanted to stay like this forever, blushing and crying beneath you.

You gulp, kiss bitten lips and reverent eyes finally looking at Eddie.

“Can I move?”

“Please.”

As you slowly dragged your hips from him, strap sliding out, the lube stringing- you wished you could feel how warm he was on the inside. You’d have to make do with the sight of him gasping your name as you pulled out again.

You went slow- trying out different angles as you pushed back into him, brow furrowed in a sort of concentration that Eddie would’ve thought cute if it weren’t being targeted at his undoing. Your hands, soft and promising against his, release his hold and find a new home on his hips, pulling him down to meet your thrusts.

Eddie can feel it- small jolts of pleasure snapping through him in places he hadn’t ever known existed. It fucking rocks- and he needs more, your hesitant, explorative thrusts inhibiting the winding ball in the pit of his pelvis. “C’mon, you can move, won’t break you know?”

His resolve flickered when your eyes met his again, and for a split second he saw something a little darker than normal, your grip a little tighter on his hip.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Want you to give it to me as good as I give it to you, alright?”

Eddie made this grave, he might as well lay in it.

And fuck, he might really be sent to the grave.

You were brutal in the way you began to use him- your angles from exploring before hinging his downfall, the force and pressure unwinding him from the inside out. Everything seemed too much yet not enough. The heat of your thighs sticking to the curve of his ass, the way your right hand forced his knee up- he didn’t even know it could go that high. Open and spread, Eddie felt vulnerable for a split moment. And then he felt his heart swell, right alongside his dick. You gave this to him all the time. You trusted him like this, in a way he might not have considered. You loved him. He loved you. He loved you. He loved you.

He really loved you when you hit that spot inside of him again, he could’ve sworn his vision blanked for a moment.

“Shit shit fuck- feels so fucking good baby. I can feel you so deep, ah, fuck- like you’re in my stomach-”

“Yeah? Feels good?” You cooed, reminiscent of all the times he had teased you as he split you open. “Doing so well- so so so well- for me babes. Such a pretty boy letting me open him up like this- You’re perfect aren’t you? So perfect.”

Eddie honestly to god giggles, his hips inadvertently rolling upwards to meet your thrusts, clammy hands reaching around the back of your neck to pull you forward. Your noses brush against each other as he mouths against your lips, “Aww you’re sweet on me, that’s embarrassing, doll.”

You thrust up particularly hard as you connect your lips, swallowing the moan you had wrenched out of him, forcing his hips up to find that spot you had before. Eddie full body shudders when you find it- letting out a noise you didn’t even know he could make as you pulled back from his saliva covered lips, watching the way tears pricked at his lashes with a sick sense of satisfaction. “I dunno babe, think you’re a little sweet on me too.” You jab, pulling away from his wandering hands as your own slips beneath his dick, pressing against a spot on his lower stomach. He all but keened, back arching into your hand. You could feel yourself moving inside of him- the action causing the pit in your stomach to grow steadily.

The faster you went, the harder the harness pressed against your own bundle of nerves, edging you closer just as Eddie came undone beneath you. It only egged you on, your release becoming second priority.

“Fuck fuck fuck- Think I’m gonna cum-” Eddie moans, breath hoarse as his hands grip the pillow beneath his head, trying to find leverage as his eyes snap shut, lips pursed.

“Good,” you say absentmindedly, stamina wearing thin as you push his legs wider. “Good boy- you can let go, ‘promise you’ve been so good- so cum.”

And he does. Just for you, all prettily on your dick. You’d give anything to feel it, but you’d have to settle for your own release rushing over you as you grind into the harness, hand scrambling to pump Eddie through his release. He curses throughout the entire thing, his smart mouth reduced to nothing but drivel as his release splatters across his stomach and rolls down his ribs in rivulets that soak into his sheets.

You both stay like that after it’s all past. Panting heavily into the air before you decide to finally pull out, the movement bringing a broken whine from Eddie’s throat. Your mind, clouded in the afterglow, searches for a familiar thing that normally comes around now- yet you’re blanking. It’s only when Eddie’s legs twitch and fall to the side, his drying cum going with it, are you broken out of your stupor, mumbling softly that you’ll get a rag as you press a kiss to his sweat covered temple. The kiss is far too chaste for what you had done.

I’ll have to thank Robin, you think to yourself as you turn on the sink and retrieve a washcloth.

---

Family Video doesn’t technically open until 9. But you know that Robin has to be here at 8 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to check inventory, so you make sure to show up early with breakfast and the vhs that started this all tucked firmly under your arm.

“Stop fucking banging on the door! You’ll break it!” Robin chastises, unlocking the door and pulling you in before clicking the latch again.

You shove the food into her hands, and she moans dramatically at the smell of hash browns and an egg and cheese breakfast sandwich from the seedy diner down the street. “Shut up, you literally wacked Steve’s head against it the other day- surprised it didn’t shatter.”

She stifles a laugh between bites, trailing to the counter to set down her coffee. You put the vhs tape next to it, pulling out your own sandwich. Humming in acknowledgement, she nods towards it. “So I assume it worked out? Took you a while to bring it back.”

You wonder vaguely if she knew about the actual premise of the film was, deciding that if she didn’t, it was better to keep it vague.

“I brought you breakfast, didn’t I?”

#what's a better way to introduce myself to a fandom than through porn?#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson smut #sub!eddie munson #reader insert #stranger things x reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction

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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year

Note

Hello!! Recently found your page and when i tell you i binge read almost all of your lookism content i mean it.

That being said i would love to ask if you could do a scenario where y/n and Goo hate each other but fake date in order to make Gun jealous and of course annoyed (in Goo’s case), however in the end they both fall for each other.

Aww!! THANK YOU FOR READING!! Isn't this community great. Isn't Lookism great.

I LOVE fake date fics! Slight deviation to just trying to prove Gun wrong (the plot is thin, okay).

Goo Kim x Reader: Fake Dating

"Get your hands off me!"

"It's called acting, you bitch!"

"Dumb bastard!"

"Stupid hag!"

"Four eyed fuck!"

"Shit for brains!"

A door slams shut. You and Goo freeze for a brief moment before throwing yourselves at each other. Your lips smash painfully together, and hands wander. It's for authenticity, you see.

(And it works.)

Gun stops in his tracks, "What the fuck?"

You had been chit-chatting as you usually do during one of the lulls in your missions with Gun.

"-and winter weddings are sorta magical, y'know? I like the idea of getting married and having snow falling all around me. But summer with the weather, I-"

Gun has had enough of your mundane chatter. "How the hell do you find the stupidest shit to talk about. You can't even get anyone to date you."

You throw a punch at him, "We dated!"

He dodges your attack, "And we broke up."

"Fuck you, loads of people want to date me!"

Gun peers over his sunglasses at you, he knows you are bullshitting.

Ugh. You'll show this asshole.

"Hey, you big lump," you kick Goo's chair. Oops maybe a bit too hard. You cackle as he tumbles into a heap on the floor.

"AHH! What was that for, you dumb bitch!" Goo gives you the filthiest look.

(On paper you and him should get on like a house on fire. But the first time you met, he had opened his mouth and asked who brought along this pretty little bimbo. You tried to rip out his tongue for that. Well, the rest is history.)

"So..." You eye up the blonde dusting himself off and readjusting his glasses. Is this one of your worst ideas? Probably. "Wanna piss off Gun with me?"

"I don't need you to do that."

"But what if we can take it to new realms of irritation?"

"..."

"I'll pay you."

"Why didn't you say so, Princess! I'm all ears."

Goo had always thought you were a little weird. As if this doesn't prove his point exactly.

Whatever.

He's making money and irritating Gun. Two of his favourite things. Add in beating someone up in there, and it's his holy trinity.

Hmm, maybe he could beat you up after this. That would be fun. He gives you a sly glance as you're explaining the 'fake dating' and what it entails.

Seriously, what an oddball.

After Gun discovers you two all over each other, he turns around and swiftly exits.

He did not care for getting involved in your love life. That ship had long sailed.

The only concerns are with his own sanity.

Having you and Goo together is a dangerously irritating, annoying combination. It doesn't just increase his chance of getting a headache and into trouble two-fold, it increases it exponentially.

...And the fake dating begins.

"Sweetheart, this song reminds me of you!" Goo gives a mocking smile that only you could see.

Gun is sitting in the back while Goo drives and you occupy the passenger's seat. That's fine as far as Gun is concerned. The further he is away from the both of you while you have this little... thing going on the better.

He honestly could not care less. But even listening to you two flirting is like nails on a chalkboard. The headache is returning. He should really invest in some headphones.

"Aww~ You are so sweet!"

You run your hands along Goo's thigh then brutally dig your nails in as you pinch him. This fuck. Did he think you couldn't hear the lyrics? The woman in this song is a useless doormat.

Goo blows you a kiss in return.

"Cupcake!" Goo matches pace with you and goes to hold your hand. You hear Gun's unhappy grumblings from behind. "There's a new hot restaurant that opened up. We should go on a date!"

"I would love that," That really would be thoughtful if you guys were an actual couple.

"We can have a nice night out and walk along the Han river."

"Perfect."

Goo's grip on your hand tightens, he looks deviously at you. Oh no. You prepare yourself for whatever comes out of his mouth next.

"And afterwards we can go back to mine for dessert? You know what I mean? By dessert? That's how everyone phrases it right? To mean we will just fuck all night? With my big, huge, throbbing-"

You hear a stumble and cursing from Gun. You look at Goo and feel him mentally high five-ing you.

Heh. That'll teach Gun for being such a dick. This isn't such a terrible idea after all.

"Sweetheart! Don't I look handsome!"

Gun questioned his life choices.

You and Goo had insisted on running into a designer store for something quick. 'Something quick' had turned into an hour of Goo parading around in suits. And now Gun is waiting sullenly in the corner for you both to finish up whatever the fuck you are doing.

"Hurry the fuck up,"

"Gun, you sourpuss! It's for the HNH function tonight. Goo needs to look his best."

Goo definitely did look good, you'll give him that. The blonde has a great body and a keen eye for fashion.

"Honeybun?" you turn your attention towards your 'boyfriend' as he strides out the fitting room. The suit looks like it was tailored especially for him.

Oh. Has he always been this handsome? You start to think maybe he isn't so bad until-

"You said you'll treat me for showing you a good time last night?"

You must be a better actor than you thought. Your mouth doesn't drop open at his boldfaced lie and your face remains neutral.

This prick. No doubt he's going to rack up an absurd bill and make you pay.

"Let's have a closer look then," you walk over to him, playing the part of a sweet girlfriend. Your hand smooths out the lapel and shirt.

"Silly, your tie is all askew," you adjust the knot and tighten it until it almost chokes this idiot.

Goo doesn't say a word, just looks down at you with a smirk. You feel the urge to wipe it off.

"I do like this one," you say. Your hand reaches out to caress his face. He stills at your unusually tender touch, his next backhanded comment gets stuck in his throat.

You push yourself up on your tiptoes to press your lips to his.

As if on autopilot, Goo's arms moves to circles your waist, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. Something about the way you fit with him feels natural.

You nip at his lower lip. Hmm, Goo really is a good kisser.

Gun closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. You two are getting on his fucking nerves. He really shouldn't kick your asses here. He takes a deep breath and counts to ten.

Scratch that, maybe one hundred.

Goo, with his arm around your shoulder, eyes your Uno cards.

He had already won a couple rounds ago, and now you and Gun are determining who between you is the loser.

"No cutie-pie, don't put the green one down. Gun will +2 you!"

"Don't help her out!" Gun growls at you both sitting across from him. He gets awfully testy even with silly games.

You hum and haw at whether to trust Goo as he studies your hand, trying to come up with a strategy.

"Put this one down," he ignores Gun and points at a particular card, "cross my heart babe!"

Fine. You follow his instructions.

Gun huffs and picks up a card from the pile. Guess he couldn't follow your colour or number.

Goo taps twice on his cheek. You giggle and reward him with a loud smooch.

"Like this,"

Goo comes up behind you, pressing himself fully into your back and helping you adjust the grip on the golf club.

You subtly elbow him.

"Watch it," you whisper.

"You're paying for my boyfriend services," he responds under his breath, a grin never leaving his face.

Your voice returns to its normal volume, "I thought I was doing it right?"

"Nooo Princess, your swing is all off!"

He rests his head on your shoulder, actually telling you about where your hands should be and correcting your stance.

If you were a weaker woman, you would be feeling butterflies, and your face would flush. You would think about how sweet Goo could be, and how fun he is in a relationship...

You see Gun from the corner of eye and quickly derail any straying thoughts. Instead, you turn and lightly graze your lips on Goo's cheek and shuffle your hips into his crotch playfully.

Goo, delighted at your movement, chuckles.

Off to the side, Gun facepalms.

You open your mouth obediently as Goo spoonfeeds you.

"Isn't it extra delicious when your Goo-bear is feeding you?" He flutters his eyelashes. God, this guy is so ridiculous you couldn't help but laugh.

"Do you have to fucking do that? I'm trying to eat here." Gun glares at the display.

"Don't be jealous just because you'll never know love like this!" Goo snaps before feeding you another mouthful.

Gun rolls his eyes. Why does Charles curse him with the most idiotic partners.

"Yeah I'll just pay for mine and the wifey's food," Goo smiles at the waitress, handing over some cash.

"Just pay for it all you cheap asshole!" Gun is exasperated. It's a goddamn hole-in-the-wall, not some fine dining establishment. The total is pocket change.

"Nope!"

"You fucking-"

The waitress clears her throat awkwardly.

"Pay for it yourself, you prick," Goo retorts as he nuzzles into your neck.

Gun angrily slams down some money.

"What's this?"

So much for doing work. Goo loudly makes an entrance into your office and wafts a piece of paper in front of your face. You snatch it irritably.

"My invoice!"

What? This wasn't the duration that was agreed.

You narrow your eyes at him, "But we're not done yet!"

"No, we're not."

"So?"

"So I thought I'll give you a 100% discount for the foreseeable, sweetheart."

Your eyebrows knit together. Does this mean what you think it means?

Goo is a picture of nonchalance, he perches on your desk as he examines his nails.

"You mean you actually want to...?"

"I'm having a good time. You look like you are too."

Hmm, you couldn't deny it. And you never thought kissing him could be so pleasant.

"So we're really...?"

Goo gives you a smile and a casual shrug. "If you want to, Princess."

How does nothing ruffle his feathers. How can he be so relaxed about this?

You mull it over. What's the worst that could happen? The last few weeks have been undeniably fun. You don't think you had ever laughed so much.

You school your expression and give him a nod.

Goo's easy smile turns into a toothy grin. He pulls you close and kisses you, like all the times he had before. But this one feels sweeter. Real.

Goo fucking Kim is actually your boyfriend. Who would have thought?

When you finally pull away, you both stay within touching distance, beaming at each other like morons.

"Bastard."

"Bimbo."

Goo suddenly frowns, and the magic breaks. "This doesn't change anything. You still need to pay the bill!"

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luvamps · 2 years

Text

Friday i’m in Love

eddie munson x goth!witch!reader

also this gif of him reminds me of the cure’s greatest hits album cover

a/n: ermmmm couldn’t get this idea out of my head and i admit it’s completely self indulgent bcuz i love eddie and i am both a witch and a goth n i haven’t seen this anywhere and YEA had to do it

warnings: none, but this isn’t a serious fic meaning my punctuation is terrible , nothing is edited and is really just a bunch of word vomit from my brain lol

also i just wanna say that usually when i write for reader inserts they’re almost always for poc readers but while writing this i had caribbean and latinx readers in mind. nothing is specified so it’s pretty open but just wanted to put that out there!

words: 1509 kinda went overboard for a hc but i luv him so shut up

newhosies enjoy <3

—

okay so you’re a kinda new student at hawkins high

you have friends not super close but they’re a group of goth kids that you gravitated towards n they had zero problem taking you in

and although you’re all goths,,, somehow the new kid ,, you ,, have now been labeled the witch of hawkins

why ?

well .

walking down the hallways of hawkins trying to find your class proved easy enough of a gateway for two jocks to make their way towards you

long black flowy skirt , lived in black long sleeve blouse with rips here n there ,, down played with worn dirty converse

easy target i suppose

“hey, y/n right ?”

looking up from the schedule to the unknown jock smiling a little too smug for just a regular greeting

anyways they’re trying to be subtly insulting but everything they throw at you that’s supposed to be an insult is kinda flattering

“death himself” “wednesday addams” “satan's girlfriend”

and “witch”

n to be honest ,, you giggle cuz they’re not wrong

your family comes from a long line of practitioners and it’s something you take great pride in

you don’t necessarily flaunt it,, but your little group knows

“hey y/n ! read my cards i needa know how this dates gonna go,” “you think you can hex my dad ? maybe cut a few years offa him?”

they took your practice serious, but since this was a pretty new concept to them outside of horror movies and fictitious books they never fully understood it

anyways one day while being harassed by these same couple of jocks whose names you’d learned for a little joke you’d been waiting to pull

mr eddie “the freak” munson happens to be passing by

and you knew him,, well of him + his reputation ,, had a few classes with him too

but honestly you never cared

you stayed in your circle and never ventured further than that

and eddie knew you

he knew you kinda had the same wrap as him

it was hard to not hear about this new “witch of hawkins”

and he never understood the nickname bcuz like ??? there were other goths what made you so scary

until that day

so he’s passing by while the jocks have you cornered

and eddie kinda slows down once he picks up pieces of the conversation

at first it’s just them picking at your make up, jewelry and clothes

and then he sees you digging around in your pocket for something

his attention is fully grabbed when he sees you pull out a small worn voodoo doll that looks vaguely like .. the man standing in front of you

then you finally speak up

“did you know, all I need is your last name, this doll and one strand of hair for me to fully curse your bloodline?”

and then your harassers straighten up a bit and scoff

“yea, sure, as if i’d believe that bullshit”

and then you speak again “well carver you’re in luck cause i’ve been looking for another test dummy”

and then what really does it for munson

is when you start speaking a different language, slow and deep

this is what scares off the two boys in front of you and they start to scurry away

not without a “what the fuck! you are a witch!”

you roll your eyes and scoff then mutter to yourself

“dumbasses wouldn’t know the difference between voodoo and witchcraft if it was taught to them as an actual class”

and you start to head in the direction of the class you’re way too late for

when you’re stopped again

with a sharp sigh you consider ditching this class altogether to have a smoke instead of showing up with only 20 minutes left

you turn around and come face to face with “the freak” himself

smiling widely with stars in his eyes

“Can I help you ?”

and the first thing that comes out his mouth is

“i think you might’ve put a spell on me too sweetheart”

from then on the rest is history

—

eddie’s nickname for you might be sweetheart but you can attest that the name fits him 100x more than it fit you

he’s so sweet to you

he’s loving and funny and caring and and and and

super flirty

“my girlfriend would be so jealous of how hot you are”

“eddie i am your girlfriend”

“god don’t i know it”

never said he was a good flirt

eddie might be a metalhead and you a goth but he thinks it’s a match made in hell

you’ve given him a couple of recommendations from bauhaus to the cure to depeche mode

and while eddie loves his loud thrash metal, he finds himself drawn to the dark , eerie yet enchanting sounds of your favorite bands.

he’s also given you band recs ! but you won’t let him know that his recommendations are bands you’ve already known and loved.

metallica, megadeth and black sabbath as well as other metal bands were household favorites for your family but the way eddie lights up when talking about their new songs or how that riff is totally something he could nail

you can’t bring yourself to tell him

he doesn’t completely understand your practice as a witch but he’d never disrespect it

“babe so, like, can you talk to ghosts and stuff then?”

you’re always trying to read his cards

you just wanna make sure he’s fully equipped with knowing how to deal with upcoming situations !

oh and eddie loves your makeup

sometimes you go full trad makeup

but sometimes you’re lazy and you just go black eyeliner and some black lipstick

regardless of the look for the day eddie can’t stop admiring you

your outfits are so much cooler than he’ll ever be and they just make you look so much prettier

you guys now become a “cult couple”

you frequent hellfire every now and then and it makes you giggle to watch how animated he is as DM

the kids all know you and were admittedly a little intimidated of you at first

yea eddie’s known as a cult leader but he wears ripped jeans and a denim jacket

you’re always drenched in black fabric exaggerated makeup and have a certain aura to you

“eddie she looks like she talks to crows in a graveyard!” dustin had voiced his opinion when eddie had mentioned her coming to sit in one day

“is she actually a witch ??? because if i accidentally upset her and get hexed i’m blaming you,”

safe to say once they got used to you they liked having you around

your cynical personality made watching you and eddie converse quite entertaining.

empty threats to hex people were also quite fun and something eddie took advantage of

“dude i’m so getting y/n to curse you,”

also !!! your friends think he’s the funniest

at first they’re like “no way you’re going out with munson”

but one day you have him sit with you and he has the whole table laughing

they love having him around so you guys switch off on friend groups

making each other mixtapes !!!!

he puts bands you actually don’t know on it and you’re super shocked like wow wtf this is so good i didn’t know these people existed

and your mixtape to him is like goth love songs bcuz you’re in love and cheesy and ewwww

he thinks you’re the most romantic person alive even though you have trouble voicing your emotions

you’re definitely a gift giver/ acts of service type of lover

so when he listens to the mixtape you’ve made him he really listens to the lyrics in each song and he’s just heart eyes and butterflies

so in love with you dude idk

gets you a black cat as a birthday gift but it’s really just a stray kitten he found that reminded him of you

obviously you love it because you’ve always wanted a familiar but cats are weirdly pricey

you guys brainstorm names together and finally decide on something that fits all of you

lucifur

get it

no ? just me ?

anyways it’s a play on the reputation you both have at school,, eddie thought of it and it made you laugh so you had to keep it

you call the kitty luci for short after finding out she’s a girl

you and eddie are both constantly at your house or his trailer,, your house when he wants to see luci and watch movies on a giant (but not really) TV with you

his trailer when you want *alone time* away from your parents

wherever you’re at though neither of you care as long as you’re wrapped up with each other with some weed and snacks

you guys are super in love im jealous

he says he loves you first btw

you say it a couple days after and everything is just so warm and love filled idk how to explain it

newhosies yea super in love rock couple who scare kids in public with just their presence mwah love it.

#eddie stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x poc reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie munson x goth reader #eddie munson x witch reader

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deanstead · 2 years

Text

Murder Next Door || Part 1

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: no

Summary: When one of Jay’s neighbours is found dead, both he and Y/N find themselves right smack in the middle of what could turn out to be a very dangerous situation.

Word Count: 2,689

Tags/Warnings: canon-typical mentions of murder, blood, idiots-in-love

A/N: So this is another one of those "Resa's brain is at it again" but it got a little... long HAHA. So I'm splitting it into parts. I'm not sure how many parts there will be yet, so we'll see!

MINI SERIES MASTERLIST || JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST

Part 2

You pulled your jacket tighter around you, ducking into the apartment building quickly to get out of the wind. Winters in Chicago were seriously brutal.

As you turned to close the door behind you, the door was stopped with a forceful bang as someone put his hand against the glass to stop it, the sound making you jump.

You exhaled, blinking back at the person.

He had a black cap on, almost covering his eyes, his scarf was pulled up almost to his nose, and his other hand was jammed tight into his pocket.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Cold night, didn’t wanna have to dig around for my keys.” His voice was smooth and clipped.

You didn’t say anything, just gave a small polite smile before you headed back up. By the time you crossed the threshold into Jay’s apartment, the encounter had already been forgotten, your eyes falling on the pizza boxes on the table.

“Finally. I’m starving.” Jay complained, his head already leaning on the back of his couch as he angled his head to look at you.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Sorry, the meeting took a lot longer than I expected.”

Jay just pulled himself off the couch and headed towards the table.

“I was supposed to pay for dinner.” You told him, glancing up to look straight at him.

Jay rolled his eyes. “Just shut up and eat.” He answered, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite off it.

You’d been crashing at Jay’s apartment for a while, partly because he had a spare room and partly because he’d found out about the problem with your previous apartment and had bullied you into staying.

But you also knew the real reason why you’d been hesitant to move in.

Maybe things would have been much easier if you weren’t in love with your best friend. But it wasn’t like you had much of a choice in the matter. You’d almost called Will instead, since you'd known the brothers forever, but you felt like you’d be encroaching too much on Will’s space considering he only had the one bedroom he slept in.

So you found yourself here, sitting across from Jay, munching on pizza that he hadn’t even let you pay for considering you were freeloading at his house.

“What?”Jay asked, his eyes narrowing at you.

You shrugged. “Thinking of a gift, plotting your murder, you’ll never know Halstead.”

Jay rolled his eyes and you laughed, hiding everything else behind it. Just another normal night with your best friend.

You woke up the next morning with a pounding headache.

Your first instinct was to blame Jay for the extra bottle of beer he’d handed to you the previous night, but when you sat up and swung your legs off the bed, logic found its way to you and you knew two bottles of beer would definitely not give you a hangover.

Trying to ignore the pounding, you got up to go to the kitchen for a glass of water.

The house was quiet, which meant Jay had already left, so you pulled open the drawer, grimacing when you realized you’d forgotten to refill the aspirin.

With a sigh, you closed the drawer again. The pounding had somewhat subsided but not totally. You were glad that at least you didn’t have any meetings today. Today was supposed to be writing day which worked out because you could take things at your own pace.

Throwing on some clothes that were a bit more decent, you headed for the door, locking Jay’s door behind you before you froze.

“Jay?”

Jay was standing about two doors down, next to Kevin, looking into his neighbor's house with that expression you called his detective face. That’s when you saw the yellow crime scene tape right across the doorway and registered that Jay had his police vest on.

“Y/N, I didn’t think you were still…” Jay paused when he turned to look at you. “You okay?”

You shook your head. “Migraine, I think. But we’re out of aspirin. I’m just gonna…” You pointed.

Kevin gave Jay a nod and he stepped towards you. “Bad?” He put his hand on your forehead gently and you were acutely aware that Kevin was watching.

“No fever. Do you want me to make the run?” Jay asked, keeping his voice low.

“Detective Halstead, focus.” You teased gently, trying to hide the fact that your heartbeat had picked up. “What are you doing here? Everything okay?”

Jay glanced behind him. “Yeah, we need to interview everyone on the floor anyway so why don’t you go back in and I’ll be in shortly.”

“Can you interview me?” You asked, an eyebrow raising.

Jay let out a short laugh. “You’re a witness, Y/N. Not a suspect. Get back in there, and lie down. I’ll be right there.”

You rolled your eyes at him for fussing over a migraine but you were also secretly glad you didn’t have to go all the way to the store.

By the time Jay came back into his apartment, you were sprawled on the couch and definitely in need of that aspirin.

You heard Jay bustle into his own kitchen before he pressed the pill in one hand and then handed you the glass of water.

You felt the liquid trickle down your throat, bringing the aspirin tablet with it, before you glanced back up at him.

Jay frowned. “You didn’t have that much to drink last night. Should I be worried?”

You would have rolled your eyes if not for the splitting headache.

“I’m fine.” You said, propping yourself upwards. “So what’s going on?”

Jay’s expression took a heavier look now as he sat himself on his coffee table so he was facing you directly.

“The house two doors down? Did you know her?”

You glanced up at him, your eyebrows bunching together in confusion. “The blonde girl?”

Jay nodded.

You raised an eyebrow now. “She’s your neighbor, Jay.” You paused but when he didn’t say anything you went on. “I met her a few times around... You know, like in the stairwell, or the lift, but we didn’t really talk or anything, I don’t even know her name. What’s going on?”

Jay gave an audible exhale and you knew him well enough to know what followed wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Someone called in a dead body.”

A silence followed his statement.

“No.” The word escaped your lips like a whisper. “And I assume it’s not natural?”

Jay gave you a sad look and shook his head. “Preliminarily? Definitely not.” He paused. “You know I can’t tell you more.”

You nodded, looking down.

“Did you see anything yesterday or recently that was out of the ordinary?” Jay asked, and you could even hear the conflict in his voice. Like he hoped you did so that he could crack the case, but he also hoped you didn’t so you wouldn’t be wrapped up in all this.

“Like I said, I don’t even know her name. Off the top of my head, I don’t think there was anything. I always saw her alone.” You answered. “Sorry.”

Jay shook his head. “You know, if you think of anything…”

You gave him a small teasing smile. “I’ll call, Detective. I already have your number.”

Jay rolled his eyes but glanced back down at you as he stood. “How’s the head?”

You nodded. “Better.”

Jay reached down to ruffle your hair in that annoying way he did even though he knew you hated it. “I’ll be late, obviously. I’ll call Will to check in on you.”

“Do not.” You warned, even though you knew it was useless.

Jay just smiled, waved, and headed out the door.

Abbie Walker, 27.

The words stared back at Jay from where he sat at his desk. Jay hadn’t known her personally, he hadn’t even known her name and the only interaction they had had was probably polite smiles and nods as a form of greeting, but this still felt like it hit a little too close to home. Literally.

It was only as Adam walked into the bullpen that Jay tore his eyes away from the photo they’d put on the board.

“Medical Examiner’s report. They count twelve stab wounds.” Adam said, with a grim look on his face, handing Jay the report.

Jay frowned. “That much overkill?”

Jay’s eyes raked over the report quickly before he handed it back to Voight for him to take a look.

Before Voight could say anything, Kim jogged up the stairs. “Jay, you need to take a look at this.” She said, her voice was slightly urgent as she headed straight for her desk and pushed the USB drive she had into her computer.

“We got the traffic pod that has a view of the front of your building.” Kim said, pulling the slider across the video to the part she wanted to show Jay.

“We cleared almost everyone who came in within three hours before and after Abbie’s estimated time of death. Except two people. One is a guy who delivered flowers, Kevin’s on that. The other person is this guy.”

Jay squinted, leaning forward to take a closer look.

“Wait stop.” Jay said, as there was a ringing in his ears.

Kim nodded, pulling the video backwards again. “This is why I wanted to show you. That’s Y/N, isn’t it? Heading in right before him?”

“Damn it.” Jay muttered, his eyes registering the timestamp on the video as Kim pressed play again and he watched the tape of you heading in, and the guy behind you reaching out to hold the door to make sure it didn’t close before he slipped in.

Hailey shook her head. “Jay, maybe she didn’t…”

Jay let out a sigh. “With our luck?” He glanced at Voight.

Voight nodded. “Kim, Jay, go.”

While the rest spread out to follow on the other evidence they had on hand, Kim nodded, following Jay to his truck as he sped off back towards home, where he knew you would be.

You’d barely settled at the table and opened your laptop when the door opened.

You glanced up with somewhat of an exasperated look on your face, expecting to see the redhead Halstead standing there. Instead, you frowned in confusion.

“Jay? What are you doing…” Your voice trailed off as you noticed Kim right behind him.

“Hey, Y/N.” Kim called.

You smiled back at Kim, giving her a small wave, although your frown deepened when you glanced back at Jay.

“What’s going on?” You asked.

Jay glanced at you as he and Kim sat in chairs facing you. “You were home late last night, did you see anyone?”

You shook your head before you paused.

“What is it?” Jay prompted, noticing the change in your demeanor immediately.

Kim sat up a little straighter and you looked at her before you glanced back at Jay. “There was this guy… Uh… I remember because he gave me a shock.”

Jay’s frown deepened.

You shook your head, reading Jay’s expression immediately. “No, he just stopped me from closing the door. The sound gave me a shock. He said… he said it was too cold and that I was saving him the trouble of digging for his keys.”

Jay glanced at Kim.

“What’s…” Your voice trailed off because you’d already reached the conclusion. “Oh my god… no…”

Kim nodded at Jay. “I’ll call Hailey.”

As Kim excused herself, Jay got up, rounding around the table to squat in front of you. “You couldn’t have known, alright? Did you see his face?”

You shook your head. “No, he had a… a scarf draped over the lower half of his face. It was cold, I didn’t think…”

Jay shook his head more vigorously this time, reaching for your hand and squeezing gently. “Don’t do that.”

You glanced up, belatedly realizing how close Jay really was to you, the air feeling like it was sucked out from the room.

Jay blinked back at you before he lifted his hand from yours quickly. Before the awkward tension could fully permeate the room, Kim walked back in. “Jay, we gotta…”

Jay cleared his throat, pulling backwards as he nodded at Kim.

“You going to be okay?” He asked, with a final look back at you.

You smiled and nodded. “Go save the city.”

You watched Jay and Kim walk out, the front door clicking shut behind them, before you turned back towards your computer.

You were going to work and you were not going to think anymore about what had happened next door, you told yourself even as another ‘what if’ floated through your mind.

Jay didn’t come back that night, even though he’d called to check in on you and offer to have Will come over. You’d rolled your eyes over the phone and promised him that you’d latch the door so well that even if he did come home, he’d have to sleep on the corridor outside.

Even so, you knew Jay was behind it when Will called you all of ten minutes later to offer to bring food over. You relented with a “Fine, you worried I’m going to forget your stupid face?”

So Will had come over with food, which actually saved you a trip and you’d spent the night catching up with him, rolling your eyes as he gently teased you about how you only wanted to hang out with Jay.

But you were grateful that at least Will’s presence had taken your mind off a lot of other things.

By the next day, you were pretty much back to yourself. Jay had always been a little protective of you, even from the time you guys had been in school, and he was probably feeling a bit of heat from the case being a little too close to home. So you told yourself that you’d humor him, and that the Halsteads were just being… the Halsteads.

You’d gone about the day like any normal day but reminded yourself not to stay out too late, just going out for a short meeting with one of your publishers before you came home, or rather Jay’s apartment.

You smiled a little to yourself, realizing how the word ‘home’ resonated in your mind along with Jay, although it came with the bittersweet taste of the feelings you’d kept buried in your heart for so many years.

Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard a knock at the door.

You headed towards the door, wondering if it was Will again, and telling yourself if it was Jay, you were going to remind him that this was his apartment and that he didn’t need to go out of his way to make you comfortable.

But when you opened the door, it was neither Halstead.

The guy standing at Jay’s door was dressed in a CPD jacket, the kind that patrol put on sometimes, along with a police cap that was sitting snugly on his head.

You frowned a little, glancing to the side for sight of a non-existent partner.

“I’m from CPD, we have some follow up questions about the murder down the hall. Do you mind if I come in?”

You felt your eyebrows unconsciously bunch together. Even if Jay couldn’t come himself for any reason, there was no way that he would send anyone other than Intelligence members in his place. And the fact that this officer was alone here was way too suspicious as well.

Your eyes flicked to where the officer’s hand was resting on Jay’s door.

You weren’t sure what would happen if you tried to forcefully close the door right now. If he pushed back, he’d overpower you easily.

You bit the inside of your cheek. As you stood there, trying to calculate all the possibilities in your head to decide what was the next thing you were supposed to do, he took another step forward closer to you, essentially forcing you to step backwards instinctively, his hand pushing the door open just a little wider.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

Character taglists are open!

#resa.fics #jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #murder next door fic #jay halstead mini series #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfic #chicago pd #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd fanfic #jay halstead series #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x y/n

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matrixbearer2024 · 2 months

Note

Can you do something with Vox and the reader and the reader listens to like sus or like nsfw songs (Think like Wheeler Walker Jr. (he’s a country music artist if you didn’t know, be warned)) and/or like morally questionable songs? Idk I’d think it’d just be funny with like the reader listening to a song and it’s just like really explicit😭🙏

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: I'm making a drabble out of this cuz I don't wanna go through the whole song for now- but this is way too funny of an idea to pass up. PLUS, I've got like the perfect song after the audio just popped up on my YouTube feed yesterday. Like, the song has two versions too- one explicit and one clean. Also, I am aware that the idiom in the title means being more cautious- but it kind of applies to Vox when he actually has to make a valiant effort to stop falling in love with you. He absolutely sucks at it but we're not gonna stop him LMAO.

youtube

Despite having prior knowledge to the songs you liked and listened to, Vox was still a bemused mess when guessing your music preferences. Sometimes he couldn't understand why you'd have a certain song in your playlist that just... didn't really fit. He'd even worry that something happened when a depressive song was randomly at the top of your 'most played' tunes for the day. Yet you were completely fine, actually just peachy- which confused him beyond belief.

All the more when he found you at the hotel teaching Angel some popular dance routines from when you were alive. The overlord didn't seem to mind what you were doing, hell- it was a little cute to watch. Even if he had a few qualms about your song choices, a lot of them bordering suggestive, it wasn't anything he hadn't heard before.

That was until the chorus of this specific tune started playing.

You wrap around me and you give me life~ And that's why night after night- I'll be fuckin' you right!

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!

It didn't help that you seemed completely unbothered by it?! Huh?!

Vox hadn't ever heard that song in your playlist before, if he had the lyrics and melody would be familiar- but no! So you had just decided to add this all of a sudden?! WHY??

He didn't realize his claws were digging into the bar top where he was leaning against until Lucifer pointed it out. Even then, he didn't react to the king of hell's teasing or jabs- merely crossing his arms as his brain tried to catch up with what was happening.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday- a week! Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday- Seven days a week!

Were you trying to tell him something?? Wha- how did you even find a song like this?! Much less know enough about the dance of it to teach! He was starting to overheat as his fans whirred loudly. Though at this point, it was mostly embarrassed confusion with a dash of lust.

Husker and Lucifer were sort of having a laugh at Vox's expense where they were standing near him. It had been clear as day ever since that the technology overlord had a thing for you-

This just pretty much confirmed it.

Maybe he totally wished to direct the song at you, if his pink screen was any indication. The guy even had small bolts of blue electricity just running across him, you were seriously sending Vox into overdrive and you had no idea!

Every hour, every minute, every second, you know night after night~ I'll be fuckin' you right, seven days a week!

By the time you had finished dancing with Angel, you picked up on some boisterous laughter by the hotel's bar. Only to see Lucifer and Husker actually losing it because a certain flatscreen companion of yours was bluescreened and sparking where he stood.

What the hell?

You were so confused.

But that just seemed to make a certain king and bartender laugh all the more.

#hazbin hotel #vox x reader #vox #hazbin hotel vox #get off my screen series #hazbin vox #vox x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader

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tojisbbg · 1 year

Text

♥ 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ♥

❝there's nothing you could do or say, i can't escape the way i love you. i don't want to, but i love you❞

♡ manjiro sano ♡

a/n: back at it again with the sad mikey shit :p

content: bonten arc!mikey x timeleaper!reader (y/n), angsty (lol as usual), hurt with comfort (yay!), mentions of suicide and suicidal talk, enemies to lovers (?), mikey just needs some love bruh, not edited as always.

...

“what the actual fuck is wrong with you?!” you screamed in fury, drenched in blood that was mostly not yours. you walked inside the living room of the very expensive penthouse you resided in along with eight other men. you saw the silver haired male sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine in his hand, unhinged from your loud outburst.

“you’re staining the carpet.” mikey brashly commented, watching the blood drip down your body and form puddles on the floor and getting on the carpet. this only made your blood boil even more, you were trying to have a serious conversation with him about how your whole team just got annihilated and he cares about the damn carpet??

“i called you at least fifty times to give me backup, there was a fucking bomb explosion you shit for brains! everyone is dead and i would’ve been dead too if i didn’t go out for my smoke break.” your voice trembled, tears welling in your eyes that threatened to spill in front of the emotionless man in front of you. the sight from earlier was horrific, screams from people you worked with being heard, blood and guts flying everywhere.

it was something you’d see in a horror film.

“tough luck for them. go take a shower and clean your mess up.” he ordered, gulping down the red wine in the glass in one go before heading towards the grand staircase.

“do you- are you not at least feel a little bit of remorse? they died because the people they counted on let them down. they’re dead for fuck's sake, manjiro!” you bellowed at his back, quickly wiping away the tears that accidentally slipped out. mikey turned around, giving you a bitter smirk as he inched closer to you, making you take a few steps back.

“should i go there? use my magic powers to bring them back to life? should i, y/n?” mikey sarcastically asked, mockingly batting his eyes.

“that’s not wh-”

“then what the fuck do you want me to do, huh?!” this time, he was the one screaming in your face, a vein popping in his neck. your eyes widened, throat becoming dry as this was the first time that he raised his voice at you.

both you and mikey disliked each other, never once getting along with each other. for starters, you hated him for how he disregarded izana’s death, treating your best friend’s name as some kind of taboo thing to be said around the house. not to mention that he stole izana’s whole look, making your hatred even worse towards him as you couldn’t help but mistaken mikey for izana at times.

you, too, died on the day izana was shot. however, it wasn’t on the scene, as kisaki and hanma took you down before you could even reach the place. next thing you know, you’re ten years into the future in some abandoned alleyway.

after figuring out your situation, you did some digging and research to find kakucho. you later did, as the wanted posters plastered all over the city gave it away. kakucho was ecstatic to see his old friend once again and begged mikey to have you join bonten. at first, the short little smurf strictly declined, not wanting to add in another member of tenjiku inside bonten.

to be fair, you didn’t wanna join bonten either. you were tired of living as delinquent and jumping from gang to gang. you wanted to live a simple life, in a small apartment, work a nine to five job and have a cat.

but things didn’t go as you planned.

“they had families too. parents, wives and kids. those people deserve to know what happened to their loved one because of you.” you tried to reason.

“i’ll have koko send out a message to their families.” mikey bluntly answered, making your jaw drop from how absurd he could get.

“a message? you think that the life of their loved one, who’s now gone, is worth just a message?” you questioned, shocked and refusing to believe that what your ears were hearing was a lie.

“look, i don’t have time for this shit. if you wanna have a sappy little group therapy session or something for them, then do it on your own time as you please. i’m leaving.” mikey harshly spoke, his voice laced with agitation.

“what if it was sanzu? ran, rindou, koko or even kakucho. what if i was in there, mikey?” you spoke, but your words came out as a whisper, yet it rang loud in mikey’s ear.

“as i said, tough luck.” he spat out before turning his heels, walking away to his room.

“you fucking piece of shit! yeah, go crawl into your little hell-hole like you always do.” you bitterly said, yet none of the words faltered him as he continued to take the steps upstairs.

“y/n?” you heard the familiar worried voice behind you, turning around to be met with the scarred man who had the haitani brothers trailing behind him. you broke down into tears, stepping a little back to make sure that he doesn’t touch you and get blood all over him.

“what’s wrong, are you hurt? you’re covered in blood! let me see, y/n.” kakucho sternly said, walking closer to you.

“no, your clothes will get ruined.” you sniffled, making him scoff as he pulled you into his chest, the warmth of his body comforting your conflicting feelings.

“it’s okay, y/n. everything will be okay.” gentle fingers stroked your back soothingly, as you drenched kakucho’s suit with blood and tears.

“they’re all dead! it’s all because of me and that stupid little shit. i couldn’t save them, kaku.” you choked on your tears, shoving your face deeper into his chest. kakucho let out a heavy sigh, hugging you tightly.

“you did everything that you could, y/n. you know it, i know it, the whole world knows that. stop blaming yourself.” he calmly responded, but you shook your head in denial.

“no, if mikey sent backup, they would’ve been alive now.” your hand clutched onto his button-up, feeling your knees growing weak.

“you know we can’t go over the boss’ orders, y/n.” kakucho gave you a sad smile as you peered above, the pads of his thumbs wiping away your tears.

“i hate mikey.”

“come on, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

---

it’s been about a week since the incident, kakucho ordered you to take a small break to recover and get your mental state back in check. over the course of week, the executives were pretty busy and were rarely seen at home, sometimes too tired to even make it back home and they ended up sleeping at headquarters.

strangely enough, after that whole argument you had with mikey, you haven’t crossed paths with him this entire week. to which you didn’t complain, it’s not like you wanted to see him either.

“you guys heading out early again?” you chewed on one of the waffles kakucho prepared for everyone, hearing him hum in response.

“yup, the haitani’s haven’t been home for like a week and i don’t think they could come back until next week. koko’s been buried under paperwork too, but i forced him to go sleep at home last night. he should be heading out an hour or so after me though.” kakucho explained, making you groan in annoyance.

“that means it’s me and this huge empty house once again. it’s so boring!” you whined, making him chuckle as he squished your cheeks.

“you got mikey.” he answered, which wasn’t wrong, but it’s not like you both liked each other.

“are you kidding? him being home and not is the same thing. hey, how about i come to work and help you guys out. you know, so that we all can finish early and come home sooner and be happy! teamwork makes the dreamwork you know.” you gave kakucho the best puppy eyes you had, only to be flicked on the forehead as you winced in pain.

“nice try, but no. stay home and rest up, also, check up on mikey. i know you don’t like him, but he’s going through a lot right now. you know that today’s izana’s death anniversary, right?” kakucho softly spoke, making you quiet down as you nodded.

“of course i know, i’ve been trying to forget it though. it still makes me sad, you know?” you let out a heavy sigh.

“mikey’s younger sister, emma, died on the same day as izana. his older brother’s death anniversary was last week as well. mikey needs someone, y/n. we tried to warm him up, but every year, he pushes us away. it’s your turn.” kakucho gave your a small smile, watching you in concern at the same time as you tried to process this new information he just spewed out at you.

“how is he still alive? after losing so many people like that, i would’ve killed myself. i mean, in all honesty, i was in a really dark place after izana died. i don’t think i’d even be here without you, kaku.” you said, an overwhelming feeling of sadness coming over you from hearing that about mikey.

no wonder why he’s so cold, sad, mad and lonely all the time. he’s still coping, even after all these years.

“he’s going through that now, so be his kakucho. i’m running late, so i’ll head out soon. i’ll message you later.” he ruffled your hair before untying his apron and heading up to his room.

soon after kakucho left, you decided to hang around the living room area and watch some tv. koko woke up soon and ate brunch, to which you accompanied him as you both gossiped together, giggling like a bunch of sassy teenagers. you bid the long silver haired male goodbye, locking the door behind you as you glanced at your phone.

it was almost three in the afternoon and there was pretty much no leftover that were left in the fridge. you decided to make lunch since there was still you and mikey in the house, you assumed that the others would just be eating out or getting takeout.

you cooked a quick meal of rice and curry, plating a dish for yourself as you sat down and ate alone. the silence inside the house was deafening, and you couldn’t help but reminisce the moment you spent in tenjiku. it was always a loud house, full of pranks which you devised with the haitani and your poor victims would always be kakucho and shion.

sometimes it would be izana, but that was only for you though.

you held a special place in izana’s heart, no one understood him better than you. you didn’t mind serving him and you were ready to go to the very end for him, but now he’s gone. which is why it almost felt as if you no longer had a purpose to live or keep on going.

you washed your plate after clearing it up in no time, deciding that you should bring up some food for mikey. you were growing a little worried on if he was even alive or not. he never stepped out of his room unless he needed to go to the bathroom or occasionally came down to eat when no one was there.

you knocked on his door a couple of times, but there was no answer. you scoffed, getting annoyed as the hot plate from the steaming food burned your hand.

“i’m coming in, asshole.” you said loudly, twisting the door nob, only to be met with darkness. you’ve never been inside of mikey’s room before, the familiar scent of his soft vanilla fragrance meeting your senses.

“jesus, are you a vampire or something?” you joked, switching the lights on, your eyes examining how his room was neat and tidy. you saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the window as his back was towards you.

“mikey?” you called out, yet he never responded. you furrowed your eyebrows, setting the plate of food down on the dressing table. you walked to him, tapping his shoulder yet he didn’t budge.

“mi-”

his head turned around and you almost let out a scream from horror. mikey’s face was as pale as a ghost, lips chapped as his eyes were red and puffy, streaks of dried tears on his cheeks as dark eyebags formed under his eyes. you saw pictures in his hands and you recognized that one of them was izana’s while the other photo contained a tall man with black hair and a blonde little girl.

“get out.” mikey lowly whispered, eyes full nothing but despair.

“mikey, you’re not okay. just talk to me, i’ll listen, i promise.” you begged him, your heart shattering to pieces as you’ve never seen him in such a terrible condition before.

“please, get out, y/n.” your name rolling off his tongue sent chills over your body, you wanted to break down in tears in front of him. respecting his request, you quietly left, shutting his door.

you went to your room, silent tears streaming down your face as the image of mikey’s condition was engraved inside your mind. you felt sick, like the lunch you ate an hour ago was about to come back up your throat.

you decided to take a short nap, hoping that perhaps it would clear your mind.

---

a loud strike of thunder startled you, making your eyes shoot open as you breathed heavily. your room was lighted by the dim light coming from your lamp. you glanced at the clock and saw that it was only five in the afternoon.

you got off your bed, slipping on your slippers as you let out a yawn. feeling thirsty, you headed towards the kitchen. as you walked past mikey’s room, you noticed that the door was slightly opened and there was a cold breeze coming through, sending shivers down your spine.

you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, clearly remembering that you closed the door of his room before you left. you walked towards his door, eyes peaking inside and you saw the man nowhere inside his room.

inviting yourself into his room, you walked inside and noticed that the sliding glass doors to his balcony was opened. you walked closer and you saw him sitting dangerously on the rails, making your heartbeat increase.

“mikey!” you yelled as you rushed inside, watching the man turn his head to look at you, dull eyes piercing your soul before giving you a small sad smile. he pushed himself off, making your eyes go wide.

“NO!” you screamed in panic, quickly leaning over the edge and grabbing his hand. mikey gasped, now hanging in the air from the tall penthouse nearly twenty stories high.

“why are you doing this, mikey?! have you gone insane??” you grunted, trying to keep your grip on him as tight as possible as your hands became slippery from the rain.

“just let me die, already. i want to have some peace for once in my life, not go through anyone’s death or cause it, i want to be free. please, let me go, y/n.” mikey begged, his face drenched with water, the wind blowing against his hair.

“i won’t let you go, mikey. i need you to be here! i want to see that stupid little face of yours everyday i wake up for my morning coffee, or when you hog the tv remote. i’ll save you, no matter what! i’ll keep coming back to you in any shape or form to save you.” you cried, your tears falling on his face as you saw his own eyes swelling.

“save me, y/n.” he croaked, tears pooling in his eyes before falling down his face. suddenly, you felt your hands loosing grip, making you yelp.

“mikey!” you bellowed, watching him slip and falling.

---

“NO!” you rose from your bed, heart beating erratically as you felt like you just ran a marathon. cold sweat drizzled down the sides of your head, the familiar sound of thunder making your heart drop.

you scrambled out of your bed, running towards mikey’s room, ditching the idea of knocking as you barged inside. you were relieved to his windows closed and the balcony door shut, as the man was tucked away in his bed, fast asleep.

you softly closed the door, letting out a breath of relief. you glanced at the clock and saw that it was well past midnight. you tried to piece together exactly what the fuck you just dreamed of.

you heard shuffling sounds coming from downstairs, peaking from the stairs to see kakucho sweeping the floor. your lips curled upwards, heading down as quietly as possible, wanting to surprise the zoned out man.

“boo!” you giggled, closing your palms on his eyes, startling him.

“you little shit.” kakucho breathed out, chuckling afterwards as he pinched your cheek.

“thought you weren’t gonna be home anytime soon.” you cocked an eyebrow, sitting on the sofa while watching him settle the broom down before taking the empty spot next you.

“yeah, well, i had a bad feeling for some reason and decided to come home.” he shrugged, and for some reason your throat felt dry.

could this all be a sign that something terrible was initially supposed to happen today? everything seemed off.

“it’s so strange. i actually woke up from a bad dream just now.” you let out a shaky sigh, leaning back and sinking in the sofa.

“what did you see?” kakucho asked, intrigued to hear about your dream.

“i saw mikey trying to kill himself by jumping off from his balcony. i swear, it felt so real.” you said, voice wavering in fear and anxiety as the scenes kept replaying in your mind. kakucho gave you a concerned look, taking a hold of your hand.

“did you check up on him after waking up? is he still alive?” he asked in panic, and you quickly assured him that mikey was fine, to which he finally relaxed.

“i can’t tell if what i saw was a vision or not. i’m so scared, kaku. what if-” you paused, trying to recollect your thoughts.

“what if something like that actually happens and i couldn’t have prevented it even after knowing.” your eyes glossed with tears, making kakucho’s heart swell with ache.

“nothing like that will happen, y/n. we’ll make sure mikey is okay.” the scarred man assured you, pulling you into his embrace as he stroked your hair.

“did you go to see izana?” he asked.

“yeah, i gave him his annualy nagging for dying before me. that stupid jerk.” you mumbled, making kakucho chortle.

“still mad at him, huh?” kakucho smiled, seeing your eyes glimmer.

“yeah, i miss him.” you said with a sad smile, feeling kakucho’s breath hitch.

“yeah, me too.” he replied.

---

the next few days the house was embraced with a familiar silence, the executives on a very important mission to europe came up. this left you and mikey alone once again. you were getting bored of watching the same old shows and movies.

you decided that you had enough of this cycle of hate and awkwardness, storming upstairs as you barged inside of mikey’s room. you found the man busy on his laptop as he casually laid on his bed, not even bothering to look at the door.

“don’t you know how to knock.” mikey snickered, eyes still not shifting from his screen.

“get up.” you demanded, standing at his door with your arms crossed over your chest.

“and who are you to order me around? as far as i remember, i am your boss.” he gave you a small smirk, getting under your skin.

“yeah, well it would’ve mattered to me if i actually gave a shit. so, stop being a stubborn asshole.” you scoffed, walking to his bed before harshly grabbing his hand, dragging him off his spot.

mikey yelped, quickly sliding his laptop off of his lap as he was forced to stand up. you dragged him downstairs as he looked at you with utter confusion.

“where the hell are you taking me? let me go, y/n.” mikey protested, trying to loosen himself from your grip, but you tightened your hold on his hand instead.

“somewhere that’s outside of your room and this house. you and i both need some air.” you shortly answered, shoving him out the main door as you locked it behind you. you saw him watch you with an unamused facial expression, not moving from his spot.

“what? you want me to carry you outside too?” you taunted, making him roll his eyes.

“you’re seriously annoying.” he grumbled, turning around as he walked towards the elevator.

you remembered that sanzu told you a couple of days ago how there would be a carnival that would be held near the beach today. you decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to lighten mikey’s mind and hopefully bring you both closer.

maybe not as friends, but hopefully mutuals.

the walk there was quiet, but it was short. the colorful lights beamed, screams of people of all ages being heard from all corners.

it delighted your to know that finally you were able to hear screams of joy and not of pain or agony.

“it’s so loud.” mikey mumbled under his breath, following you as you both walked through the entrance. you saw the little kids riding the merry-go-round, seeing their smiles and laughs lifted your soul.

maybe there is some good in this world.

“don’t you wish you could be a kid again?” you sighed, sitting next to mikey on the bench he was resting on.

“not really.” he answered, eyes strictly focused on his hands.

“mikey, look in front of you.” you said, but he didn’t budge. you scoffed, grabbing his face and forced him to look.

“don’t you see? there’s more to life than just being coped up in grief, sadness and loneliness. look at those teenagers on that rollercoaster, they look so happy and free. yet, there hearts might hold some tragedy.” you explained, giving him a small smile as his mouth fell agape.

“i don’t understand.” mikey spoke, yet his words came out like a low whisper.

“that girl with the blue hair might’ve lost her mom earlier this year, that boy might be recovering from childhood trauma from a neglectful family, and that other girl might be dealing with a family divorce. we’ll never know because even they are trying to move past those things. life is too short, we don’t know who’ll die next or not.” you placed your hand on his, feeling him flinch a little under your touch, his gaze shifting to your face.

his hands felt cold and clammy, slightly shaking. mikey couldn’t register this feeling in his chest, it felt like he was being suffocated.

“you think i don’t want to? i just can’t stop, it’s like my mind doesn’t have a pause or delete button.” he admitted, not wanting you to let go of his hand.

“then let me help you.” you gave him a mischievous grin, making his brows furrow.

“huh?” he asked in confusion, before letting out a yelp as you pulled him out of his seat. you both ran towards the big rollercoaster that you saw the group of teens riding on earlier.

“hope you’re not scared of heights, sano.” you teased, making him scoff.

“of course i’m not, i kill people for a living you know? a little height doesn’t scare me.” mikey defended, making you giggle as he sounded like a little kid trying to prove himself otherwise.

“whatever you say so mr. tough guy.” you mocked, trying to egg him further. the workers there led you and mikey to a cart for two, strapping you both tightly in.

“alright everyone! th-”

“excuse me, could you just check our straps again? this feels a little too loose.” mikey interrupted, as someone walked forwards and tugged on the straps.

“sir, you both are all set to go.” the lady smiled, making mikey give her a nervous one back.

“you could always hold my hand if you’re scared, you know.” you whispered to him with the ulterior move of mocking him.

“shut up, i’m just making sure that we both don’t have our dead bodies delivered to the penthouse by the end of the night.” mikey quickly said, looking away from your eyes as he glared at the employee for making him look stupid.

“alright everyone, the ride will start in five seconds! hold tight and enjoy the ride!!” the employee announced, making everyone squeal with excitement.

the rollercoaster began to climb higher and higher, until the people below you looked like tiny dolls walking around. your heart rate increased, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you approached the peak.

“fuck, i didn’t realize it was this high.” you heard mikey breath out, turning your head to see him with his eyes screwed shut. you grabbed his hand, holding him tightly as he opened his eyes, looking at you.

“i got you, sano.” you smiled, before the ride dropped with an incredible decceleration. both you and mikey screamed, watching the white haired male’s screams eventually turn into laughs.

his smile was precious, so beautiful if you would add. you saw how his hair flew in every direction as the ride threw you both in loops and turns. yet, he never stopped smiling, his fingers interlocked with yours.

“holy shit, that was insane.” mikey’s eyes glimmered, full of light as he carded his hands through his messy hair.

“i know right, can’t believe the invincible mikey is afraid of rollercoasters.” you joked, making him throw a glare at you.

“tell anyone and i’ll kill you.” he lazily threatened, before his eyes landed on the bumper cars.

“let’s go on that!” mikey outbursted, grabbing a hold of you as he dragged you to the bumper cars.

mikey and you sat in different cars, and because he’s a little shit, he chased you to bump into you. the whole time if was you screaming in panic as he got close to you, followed by fits of giggled from both of you as soon as you would collide.

“see, i’m such a pro.” he sassily commented, making you roll your eyes.

“i want funnel cake.” you pointed at the stand that sold the sugary treat, making mikey tilt his head in confusion.

“the hell is that?” he questioned, making you gasp.

“you never had funnel cake?!” you said in disbelief, and to your horror, he shook his head.

you and both rushed over to the stand, ordering one as you thanked the man. you took a piece and placed it in your mouth, humming in bliss as the taste of powder sugar and deep fried batter welcomed your taste buds.

“open.” you held a piece in front of his mouth, to which he accepted your offer, taken aback from the taste.

“that’s pretty good.” mikey said, taking a few more.

you both continued to navigate your way through the carnival as time passed, the sun beginning to set. mikey played a few of their games, winning a huge ass bear as you jumped in excitement.

“your girlfriend must be very happy.” the worker chortled as he handed mikey the big stuffed animal.

“oh, we’re n-”

“here.” mikey cut you off, placing the stuffed bear in your arms before stealing the plate of funnel cake, walking ahead. the worker looked at you with a smile to which you reciprocated one.

“it’s getting pretty late, we should head back.” mikey cleared his throat, averting his gaze from yours.

“let’s ride the ferris wheel before we go, it’s on the way to the exit.” you suggested and he hummed in agreement.

you both reached the ride, giving your last ticket to the employee before the door to a cart was opened. you sat down with the stuffed bear in your lap as mikey took the seat in front of you.

“enjoy the ride! our fireworks will begin shortly.” the worker said before starting the wheel.

“it’s my first time in years coming to the carnival.” you said with dreamy eyes as you peered out, seeing that you both were slowly going up.

“yeah.” he bluntly replied, not being able to take his eyes off of you. mikey never realized how beautiful you were, how your eyes would sparkle with adoration for those whom you cared about yet it held so much depth.

“you still mad at me?” mikey asked, making you look at him with a questioning look.

“for?” you asked.

“you know, the other day where the mission got fucked over.” mikey said with a soft tone.

“yeah, i was really mad. i wanted to punch you in the face so bad, but, i got over it.” you assured him, giving him a warm smile.

“i said a lot of stupid shit and was a real big asshole. i’m sorry for that.” he apologized, his voice sincere and warm.

“it’s okay, it’s in the past now.” you said, playing with the fur on the bear. you saw him sigh in relief, becoming more relaxed from your answer.

“that week was just hard to get through. it felt like it would’ve never ended.” mikey spoke, gazing out the window as he watched the people outside.

“i know, mikey. which is why i need you to know that you’re not alone. you could always talk to me, i’ll be your person.” his eyes softened from your words, throat burning as his eyes began to sting.

“i watched every one of them die in front of me, and i couldn’t do anything. this wasn’t supposed to be the life i planned to live. shinichiro was supposed to have his bike store established, emma getting married to ken-chin, and izana-” mikey choked out, your breath hitching as the name of your dead best friend rolled off his tongue.

“i’m sorry.” mikey quickly blurted out, watching your eyes become glossy.

“i know how it feels to feel hopeless, lonely and consumed. that’s how i ended up in bonten. after losing my parents, i needed a purpose to live, to which izana gave me in tenjiku. after he died, it felt as if my life no longer mattered. he was my best friend, my person.” tears streamed down your face, as mikey’s fingers gently wiped them away.

“but, i know he wouldn’t want to see me like this. you have to live for those whom you’ve lost. your sibling wouldn’t want to see you lead a miserable path. i found my purpose and you need to as well.” you took his face in the palms of your hands, stroking his cheek as you looked at him adoringly.

“my purpose is you and my loyalty to bonten. this is the life i want to live in, hearing you nag at me all the time. i want to wake up every morning to the smell of kakucho’s breakfast, go on batshit crazy trips with the haitani’s and haru, get spoiled by koko and the list goes on forever.” you honestly spoke, watching how his eyes softened, never realizing how much the guys meant to you.

“but how? tomorrow isn’t promised to us, how could you live a life in constant fear?” mikey asked with a shaky breath, making you sigh.

“you’re right, but you have to realize that fear will shadow you in everything that you’d ever do. this ferris wheel could suddenly break and kill everyone on it, including us. you just have to take the risk.” you reasoned, making him hum in agreement.

“i guess.” mikey mumbled, giving you a smile that warmed your heart.

“i’ll help you find your purpose, let me be your person, mikey.” suddenly, the fireworks went off, and the tension within the cart felt like a magnetic field. you didn’t realize when your face was a few inches away from mikey’s.

you could feel his breath close to your face, eyes falling on his lips as you couldn’t hold back anymore. you placed a hand on the back of his head, pulling him into you as you felt his soft lips on yours.

the taste of the sweet funnel cake resided on his lips, making you deepen the kiss. mikey’s hands found home on your waist, indulging in your touch that fogged up his senses.

your whole body felt feverish as mikey’s hot touch sent your body on fire. the white haired male’s face was warm and red, your lips never stopping any movement as you both continued to kiss desperately.

you both pulled away, breathless as the fireworks show continued.

---

the next few weeks following that little date you and mikey had, you both hadn’t spoken a word to each other. every interaction with him was painfully awkward as you would often bump into him which would result in a very silent two second eye contact before you both scurried off.

yet, you both still showed affection to each other through silent actions that didn’t require complete confrontation.

you would cook meals often since the other guys were rarely home, once again leaving you and mikey together alone. you would make sure to plate food for mikey and place it in the fridge so that he’d warm it up later and eat it.

in return, mikey would place a new dessert in the fridge for you to try from his favorite bakery that he went to every day for his daily taiyaki.

today for some odd reason, mikey hadn’t touched his breakfast or lunch as the food remained untouched in the fridge. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, going up to his room as you knocked a few times.

“mikey? i’m coming in.” you alerted him beforehand, opening the door, only to step into an empty room. you snooped around for a little, trying to see if he left a note or anything but nothing was found.

as if on cue, your phone buzzed in your pocket.

mikey: thank you for everything, y/n. please take care of bonten for me.

your eyes kept reading the words over and over again because it seemed as if they were dancing around. you mind couldn’t process what you read, panic rising inside you.

you called him about twenty times, yet it would go to his voicemail. you cursed under your breath, feeling helpless. even if you were to call one of your friends, it wouldn’t be any help because they were scattered in different cities around japan right now.

you tried to think of places that he might be in, but your mind was blank.

well, there was one place but the chances of him being there was very slim. yet, you silently prayed to whatever god there was up there that mikey would be there.

you arrived by the amusement park, shivering as the bipolar weather promised that it would snow soon. you walked further in as you were now on the boardwalk right above the beach. you went down the wooden stairs, stepping onto the soft sand.

you looked at all directions to find mikey, yet your efforts were fruitless.

it was too late.

tears welled in your eyes, your heart clenching in pain as you felt your whole work come crashing down. the beach was empty, it was only you who was there.

suddenly, through your blurry vision, you made out a figure with silver hair walking towards the waves in the distance. without any hesitation, you picked up your feet and bolted.

it had to be him, it just had to.

you nearly tripped, but as of right now, you didn’t care about anything.

you quickly wrapped your arms around him, stopping him from walking further in to be consumed by the waves.

“please, don’t do it, mikey. please, i beg you, i’m here now.” you sobbed on his back, feeling him becoming stiff.

“y/n?” mikey gasped, not believing that it was actually you.

“i won’t let you die, mikey. you can’t leave me!” you cried, feeling him turn around to face you.

“how did you find me?” he asked, still in shock at how accurately you knew him.

“my heart led me here.” you answered, looking up at him with glossy eyes. his face was pale, lips slightly chapped, cheeks rosy from the cold.

“y/n..” mikey whispered, stroking your wet cheek as you cried harder. he bit his tongue, trying to prevent himself from crumbling at the sight of your tears.

“no, please, just don’t say anything.” you placed a finger on his lips, hushing him as you silently sobbed, your heart aching.

“i tried, y/n. i tried so hard to not fall apart, but i can’t. i think i’m beyond saving at this point.” his voice cracked, making you shake your head in denial.

“i’ll pick up your pieces and put you together. i’ll save you, mikey.” you promised, holding him close to your chest, afraid of loosening your grip on him in fear of losing him.

“how do i stop letting this guilt eat me alive? i killed my siblings, i run a criminal organization and all of this is just proof that i have no purpose in life to continue.” mikey responded nonchalantly, voice dry as ever and sharp, lacking taste.

“you need to forgive yourself, though your siblings’ death wasn’t you fault. let me be your purpose, mikey.” you looked at him with hopeful eyes, watching a tint of pink dust over his cheeks even more aggressively than the cold.

“huh?” he blinked in confusion and you offered him a shy smile.

“wake up every morning for me, live your life to the fullest for your siblings, and work on becoming the best version of yourself. you still have many, many, and so many years ahead of you in life. you can’t give up now, i won’t let you. i need you to spend those years with me.” you spoke with glimmering eyes, the sunset kissing your face as you looked at the man in front of you.

“you..” mikey breathed out, not being able to find the right words to form a sentence. without thinking twice, he cupped your face and pulled you in for a kiss.

you smiled against his lips, having your answer.

“even if i fall apart in this darkness, i want you in my arms forever. i love you, y/n.” mikey peppered small kisses all over your face, making you giggle.

“i love you too, ‘jiro.” you responded, leaning in his touch.

you knew that you couldn’t escape from the way you loved him.

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