#JD with an industrial just feels right to me

[kure0me]

Heathers headshots that I will desperately need later on as references because I can’t draw them consistently 😞😞

#I finally remembered Chandler’s freckles for the first time ever #can you tell I have favourites/j #very subtle hint: chandler and veronica #JD with an industrial just feels right to me #heathers #heathers 1989 #heathers fanart #heather chandler #veronica sawyer #heather duke #heather macnamara #my art

[bilolli]

Just Dance Care AU!

Ok ok so I thought of a story for this Au but it’s nothing really impactful or full of drama and angst like my other au’s, I wanted to leave this au easy and fun to play around, because, let’s say it. Just Dance and drama in the same sentence makes me laugh. 

story and PNG version under the cut!

(I gave up on Y/n design because I couldn't figure out a general look for them. This is you we are talking about! Draw your own JD fit, I'll draw mine soon XD)

Anyway here’s the story so far: 

Year 2029, videogames industry made a huge step forward and classic consoles and devices were substituted by the new and upgraded VR headsets with full body tracking. It’s something like the NerveGear in Sword Art Online without the kill switch. Some games still require you to actually move your body (like fitness games or sports because yeah, they don’t have a purpose otherwise). 

Y/n wanted to buy the newest VR headset but, while searching for the best offer, they found out FazCo entertainment was hosting a giveaway, the prize? One of their prototypes, a VR meant to be released the next year coinciding with the opening of their first mega pizza plex.

(so the plex doesn’t exist right now). You decide to sign up for the giveaway and after a while you receive an email telling you you won the VR headset and that, to claim it, you need to read and sign a series of NDA policies (understandable, it’s a prototype headset that’s not even in commerce). Some clauses are a little bit concerning but nothing you hadn’t read on other electronics booklets, so you decide to sign. After, like, a day, you have the VR in your hands. 

The box let you know with super saturated and colorful writing, that the VR came with a game pre-installed inside. Uh, that’s why they were giving one away, they wanted a free game tester…but you know what, it’s worth it.

You always liked Just Dance games, they make you think about happy memories of your childhood. This pre-installed game called “Five Dances at Freddy’s” is a close copy of your childhood game with original FazCo songs, characters, environments and also some collaborations with other famous artists. It probably will be the cause of a big copyright infringement report.

There are various ways to play it: story mode, Casual dance, Five Dances, and Just Dance Care.

The first one is similar to the casual dance mode but with little cutscenes between a dance and another to tell a tale, Casual dance is how you can play the collab songs, Five Dances is the multiplayer mode and Just Dance Care is a more uhhhh “hard” way to play the game with all the other modes mixed in it. You stare at the description of the last mode smirking and decide to try it first just to see how far you can get before losing (yes you can lose in hard mode in this Just Dance, but you don’t die, you just have to restart from the beginning). Turns out the FazCo wasn’t kidding when they advertised the new headset as a breakthrough in the world of virtual reality headsets, the thing TRANSPORTED you inside the game itself. 

You almost have a heart attack when you can’t find your VR on your head, but before you can try something you are blocked by two tall individuals who you think are the “tutorial” characters. 

Yadda yadda, tutorial, you can pause the game and exit whenever you need just by opening an hidden menu, you find out your tutorial characters are called Sun and Moon and that you are way worse than you remembered at dancing (damn full body tracking, there is no way you are going to do a cartwheel in the middle of a dance, you still don’t know if your body is inside your home and if you’ll physically feel pain if you fall and you don’t want to find out).

You pass an embarrassingly long time trying to win your first dance battle just to discover it was still the tutorial. 

You try to go on with the story but you fail at the first real battle with a bear character named Freddy. 

And guess what? You have to start again from the tutorial! Y/n is gonna spend A LOT of time with Sun and Moon if this goes on.

#JDCAU #Just Dance Care AU #bilolli's art

[insane-control-room]

dreams sometimes dont come to life

A short essay on why Buddy Lewek's characterization was the worst thing to happen to me during all my time of loving Bendy and the Ink Machine.

My excitement for DTCL was a simmering, cautious hope. 

A Jewish character? In a period right after WW2? Could there be, for once, proper religious representation in the media? My mind was full of ideas for how DTCL could approach his Yiddishkeit, how easy it would be for them! His name is Daniel? Have a cute little scene where he corrects someone’s pronunciation from DAN-iel to dah-NI-el. Negotiating to not work on Saturday, or feeling guilty or conflicted over it. Bringing home a nice tichel for his mother, who as a seamstress would appreciate fine fabric craftsmanship. Yiddish falling into conversation. A Rabbi mentor to show the difference between the two environments he was in. There were so many wonderful options, but I knew not to hope too hard. 

Just like the JDS itself, it was too good to be true. 

I had not read the book until today, because I had been gut punched by the information my friends had given me that there was hardly any mention of his Jewishness at all. The bite was worsened by it’s advertizing as a Jewish character. Which… barely.

The reality of the book hurt.

A lot.

So much so that it is what turned me away from the canon lore at all. 

I could not even read it because I did not want my disappointment to be worse, as it already stung like a wasp had managed to get into my heart. So for three years, this has just been sitting on my mind. This little nagging feeling of loss. The loss of something I never should have even hoped for.

But hey, we all want to be represented. 

It’s only so disappointing when it's simply a brownie card. 

I will go in order of the book of how it is written, and only focus on the Jewish side of things, despite my qualms with the writing itself as well, and other historical inaccuracies, and of those there are many. Nor will I mention my personal opinions on ‘shoulds and woulds’ of the personality of a Yid. No matter how hard that is for my critical mind. 

Right off the bat, we’re treated to the lovely Lower East Side! I have personal friends whose family is from that location during that time period, back when it was a whopping 70% Jewish population. Funnily enough, there is not a single reference to any synagogues or Yeshivot or klezmer bands or gemachs or… anything that was very prevalent in the area. In fact, it subtly pushes the whole concept of “Dirty Jew” in a way that tries to sugarcoat it with “look at how unfortunate Buddy’s situation is!” instead of the actual perceptions that have for so long followed the footsteps of almost any Jewish person. Antisemitism forced many Jews in the 1880s to move into slum like areas, and the entire conception had evolved from such a constricted environment. It is true that hygiene was an issue, however, when you take thousands of vastly poor, largely unsecularly educated, mass immigrants and try to cram them all in one place because no one could afford to travel- you get a lack of cleanliness. Such is life. The fact that the book does not touch on the reason aside from a causal reference that the people there were hard workers about a hundred pages later leans even heavier into that assumption. 

Assuming that Mr. Schwartz was Jewish (or even not) the garment industry of the time would not have cared if a delivery boy would have quit. There was, again, a massive influx of fresh and desperate workers who would work for little wages and long hours. It bothered me because one is to assume Mr. Schwartz was Jewish due to the time period and how prevalent Jews are in the garment industry, especially historically. During this time period especially, Jewish disunion in said industry were at record highs, so one person quitting would mean nothing. There would always be another person to fill the gap… and likely at a lower wage. 

Buddy’s knowledge of the war is also constantly shifting and disturbing in the way that it glosses over the Holocaust part of the Holocaust. He mentions that he knows about the War, hell, his father died in it, but he makes no reference to knowing why. In every single Jewish community, religious or otherwise, the Holocaust was a major issue. People excused FDR’s inaction due to the good he was giving to Jews already in America. Everyone knew about what was going on, even little kids. There is no reason he should be surprised about his Grandfather’s arrival. There is no reason that he would recognize his Grandfather’s accent, either, as there is no mention of anyone else with such an accent. As a child of immigrants, I cannot hear their accents, and that’s something I have noticed a lot of other first generation Americans do as well. So even if Buddy’s mother had a Polish accent, then it is still very unlikely that he would have recognized it. On the term of Grandfathers, how the hell does he not know the term Zeyde living in a community that, even today, dominantly speaks Yiddish? Especially considering the fact that Zeyde is a word that any schmuck off the street would know. 

Let’s consider Buddy’s nickname now. As Dot mentions, yes, Danny (pronounced dah-NI) or Dan would be more likely. But it’s because he was a little helper! Surely nicknames like Buddy would suit that purpose well! If he had been purely Polish, then maybe. But because he is a Yid in the LES, that is a hard no. The nickname would have been Ah klineh Menchie. A mensch is a boy that is very well mannered and always looking to help. Menchie is a very common nickname for such a personality even today. Being called “Buddy” makes no sense in such a community. 

The word “Jew” is not used in the book at all. There are only two uses of the word “Jewish”, all the way on page one hundred. Removing this from the book would have changed nothing. In fact, I would have found it a far more enjoyable read, reminding people that it was not just Jews who had been massacred and murdered in the camps. It would have gotten rid of the question. 

The question.

That question. 

“You’re Jewish, right?”

First and foremost, due to Buddy’s portrayal, Dot had absolutely no reason to assume that he was Jewish. Everyone knew that all those against the Nazis were put into the camps or simply murdered. This is what nailed the coffin shut for me. I wish they would have made him Polish, and Polish alone. I already knew what to expect thanks to my friend’s warning three years prior, but I still could not help but feel utter disappointment and hurt with Buddy’s defensive response. Defensive. This trait would not come up in Jews for many more years since the 1880s, all the way until the 1980s. As a frankly completely non Jewish boy who happens to have Jewish blood, he would have shrugged it off. Instead, the book uses both mentions of, not even Judaism, but Jewishness, to bring up antisemitism in a historically inaccurate and nauseating way. No Jewish pride. No casual agreement. Not even confusion before recognition. Defensive and angry. 

Soul crushing. My disappointment is immense and my lack of surprise is larger. 

Needless to say, my motivation to finish the book had been axed sharply, and the next chapter, chapter 10, was the last I managed to read with a critical eye, especially because it is the end of any possible hope. The rest of the book fails to have anything else historical or cultural of value. 

Buddy displays no Yiddishkeit. He does not wear a kippah, he does not wear tzitzit, he does not even recognize Yiddish. No kosher, no Shabbat, no chagim or zmanim. Hell, he eats out with Mr. Drew at a restaurant, and even if the steak somehow had been kosher, he eats cheesecake directly after. Nebach. No hashkafa at all.

The end of the chapter is what turned off my brain, however.

Using the term ‘Never again’ with said not kosher food. 

Well. 

Do I even have to explain how belittling that is? Do I have to say why this leaves me numb? Do I have to continue reading with thought, only for more pain?

Dai li. Enough for me. 

I finished the book. Of course I did. I haven’t left a book unfinished in years. 

The rest I read hollowly. There was nothing for me in it. It had an okay story, fine plot points, and tied into the game. More or less. Mainly just used the names and slapped on a BatIM sticker.

Dreams come to life, sometimes.

Not this time, Control. Keep dreaming. 

Thank you for reading this rant that has been on my chest for three years. 

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #batim opinion #jewish characters #jewish thought #jewish media portrayal #buddy batim #buddy lewek #dreams come to life #dtcl #garment industry #yiddishkeit #historical fiction #historical research #antisemitism #brownie carding

[expressionbean]

updates updates! all great things. i just want to get it out buuut nobody irl is currently available to listen to theo scream time. buckle up friends

first, i'm trying to clean up all my blogs. very excited because i'm getting more time to write now than i have the past month or so.

back to school rush is over at work. that means i don't get scheduled for shifts every single day! i will get scheduled a lot during home football games because i work in a college town in the south USA. football is a big deal here. however, i have days off now, which is really nice.

as for academics: i'm talking with one of my professors later this week about possibly seeking a master's degree in actuarial science or pursuing actuarial science in general - i like the risk management side of my degree program a lot more than i thought and a job that combines risk management with statistics and data analytics... exciting. making grabby hands right now for real.

i'm doing a bunch of stuff with WSIA (wholesale & specialty insurance association) this year as usual, including traveling to conferences if all goes well. i very well may also be traveling (on a scholarship!) to london next year, so now i'm trying to go through passport obtaining hell. it's quite the process to get one these days, but it's really exciting and feels more real than it did last year.

studying for my upcoming exams is going pretty good so far. for the non-risk management/insurance/actuarial science people, i'm trying to get a lot of certificates by january 2024 and then a few more in may 2024. for anyone who does want specifics or is just curious, the next paragraphs go over what i'm actually up to with those! feel free to skip over it lol. i'll put it under a cut so it's not too long!

i have a few exams for the cpcu (chartered property/casualty underwriter designation, very very hard to obtain and holds a LOT of weight in the industry - some companies treat it like a master's degree and those who hold it do indeed sign off with it much like lawyers sign off with JD) coming up. i won't be able to get the full designation by the end of my bachelor's degree, but i will be able to get a couple!

i found out recently that i may not have to take section 520 of it at all because i attend one of a few accredited schools in the country, and my insurance ops class lets me have a waiver for it if i pass with an 80 or higher. i don't think they'll let me have a waiver for 500 since the associated class i made literally a 79, but i'll apply anyway. the ethics portion should be easy and i can schedule that for... whenever. i just have to find a block of time where i can sit and do it.

as for the exam i'm really worried about, i'm taking the alabama department of insurance's property and casualty license exam in december. and normally, i wouldn't be worried because i love p&c, but the studying materials are so awful. they're dense and have no graphs, section breaks, spacing, pictures, nothing!

it's just hundreds of pages of text in small black serif font. i'm going to break out my dinosaur sticky tabs. and my highlighters. and i will hope my ADHD brain gets excited enough about the dinosaurs to let me read the prep manual. my professor for my p&c class is letting me quiz one of the sections on thursday and i've barely opened the book. LMAO.

anyway, thanks for reading if you got this far! i hope y'all have a lovely week.

#update post

[twopoppies]

https://twitter.com/telegraphwomen/status/1537120088549113856?s=21&t=XpHFefG1RWDVXn1mFB77Vg it makes me so happy to see more and more public figures come out these past few years (although rebel wilson only came out bc otherwise she was going to be outed by a magazine which is awful). i mean although no one should have to come out to be seen as not straight/should have to define their sexuality for the public’s appeasement, and they’re all entitled to keep their private lives / romantic / sexuality private if they choose to, it seems like more and more of them are starting to feel safer doing so? like i’m sure that closeting / homophobia in the industry / etc will still happen, it’s not going to be a simple or immediate change, and that lots of public figures will still wait until they’re older to do so, but idk it’s just good to see. bittersweet i guess is the right word maybe? like i’m v happy for them but i can’t imagine everything they’ve had to go through to get to this point, if that makes sense. hopefully it does!

I like how I totally thought she was wearing Harry’s JD Anderson sweater 😅😅😅 And yeah, I totally get what you mean.

x

#celebrity coming out

[imabillyami]

You brought up the quality of the product going down once the bloodline is over, and I think WWE knows that. That's why they are pushing the judgemental day so hard. They think awesome faction=profit when, in reality, the reason the bloodline is so good is because they were so much more than dominant villains. There were layers to these characters. They were funny, had fun without it being at the expense of another wrestler being beat up (all the time sorry Elias), they were sad, angry, scared, unhinged and not at the loss of power but this was very much a family. People call this a once in a generation story, and I 100% believe that. It's like fate lining up with the right history, players and story, and people being powerful enough to only allow only a few people to touch it. We will have other fun factions, stories, and players, but there is only one Bloodline that will go down in wrestling history, and it was a privilege to go along for the ride

I could talk about it all day

Hey friend! First of all, thanks for your message! I apologize for the late reply.

I'm sure WWE knows that. They're very aware and they try too hard and fuck it all up in the process. The booking has been an overall mess lately, more so than usual if I dare say so. And I don't care who is fucking it up, but it needs to stop (spoiler alert: it's WWE so it won't).

Roman said it himself during the interview he did with Ariel Helwani on Wrestlemania weekend "We're all 4-D characters while the others are 3-D characters at best." (something along the lines of that) and that rings very true. The Bloodline upped the whole game. They set the example of what characters, factions, storylines in the industry can be. And while people were and still are constantly complaining, the numbers speak for themselves.

They can try their hardest to replicate that kind of thing, but they won't be able to. You're right about this being a once in a generation kind of thing where all the right variables came together at the perfect time.

Look... I like the JD. I like Rhea, I like Dom, I like Damien, I like Finn. I just think that lately they're trying too hard to replicate the Bloodline's success. Trying to squeeze something new into a formula that doesn't fit. What got them over as a group is how they organically grew together. Right now, to me, it feels very much forced and like creative has no idea what to do with them other than have them be successful. They're fumbling this whole thing a lot lately and the frustration on all sides is rather obvious.

Plus WWE has always been epically bad (lots of it thanks to old McFart) at making their character's decisions and motivations make sense long-term and longterm storytelling in general. We were really well-fed by the Bloodline stuff, but outside of that... Well...

(I enjoy reading your thoughts a lot, so feel free to come talk to me any time <3)

#lovely anon #anon #m answers #replies

[jdrubbishremovalau]

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[thegirlwhowritesfics]

Gossip

All right y'all thank you for your feedback on Part one of my Mayans post, if you haven’t seen it please check it out here.

At the end of the day, gossip is gossip and there’s no way to 100% verify the truth behind it; however, some of us do have legitimate sources. I have a friend who works in PR for a different studio, but guess what? All the PR peeps know each other and they talk. Peep (my source) I actually met many moons ago at a PR event here in Australia. We bonded over a different fandom and here we are.

I also have a couple of friends that I know from tumblr that work in the industry that have either told me things that they have heard or know of.

I’ve asked her to suss out some of the rumours that have been sent to me, so these are a mix of both our options and other sources.

I would also like to point out websites like lipstick alley and reddit are not reliable sources to get gossip from, it's just keyboard warriors. If you want good celebrity gossip (Mayans wouldn’t even be a blip on the radar though) check out deuxmoi.

So buckle up and let's get into the drama.

So back to post one and the lack of PR within Mayans coming from FX etc. It's also not coming from the cast or the crew, all of the posts they have posted recently are old pictures. They have been posted previously either on their feeds or on stories. And I get the whole “Not leaking info from set” that studios have but this isn’t a Marvel movie. Actually I feel like we saw more content from the latest Spider-man movie than we have so far from Mayans S4.

Alright here are some of my anons;

“I saw the asks from another anon about this Mayans drama, so I decided to have a look around. Now am I trippin or are people really coming out saying Emily and JD had an affair???Like is any of this true as in like there’s evidence or is it just a bunch of upset fans cause Clayton’s off the market? Oh and by the way I’m in no way a Emily or Clayton fan, but some of what I’ve seen could be career ending”

There is no way Emily and JD had an affair, there is no evidence of this and the basis of this rumour appears to have come from a “fan”. JD spent his break with his family, he was constantly posting loved up photos of his family, and they look genuinely happy.

So many people are talking shit about Emily and it 100% stems from jealousy. But not a single person has asked what a 36 yr old man wants with a 23 year old girl.

“So I don’t know if you have been asked this but what’s you take on the rumour that Emily T hooked up with Michael Irby and other older male costars? From what people are saying Gino and Danny are about the only two that didn’t hook up with her.”

Y’all seem to forget that Emily is still a young adult, she’s 23, they met her when she was 19, if she's having affairs with her older married co-stars, we should be asking why they are in their late 30s to mid 50s with her. It would be a clear power disadvantage and it's disgusting. Also I have zero belief any of these rumours are true. These rumours have come from “fans” no legitimate gossip site or whispers within the community have come up about these.

Peep agreed that none of the affair rumours are true, she's asked friends who work on the Mayans set and apparently it's all bullshit.

Did Clay and another cast member get into a fist fight?

So I’ve heard that Clay and another cast member got into a fist fight, 3 different sources have told me it wasn’t a fist fight but they did get into a verbal fight stemming from Clay acting like he's better than everyone else and treating the crew like shit. Another cast member stepped in and blew up at Clay about his behaviour and it did almost come to blows but they were separated before it happened.

Did Clay get fired?

The last thing I heard on this subject is no, but he’s on thin fucking ice and if he doesn't get his shit together he's out on his ass.

Are Clay and Emily a PR relationship?

While I would like this to be true as far as my sources go its a legit thing, and honestly everyone I know who works in PR said this would be a terrible fucking PR stunt cause of the age gap and the fact he’s known her since she was pretty much a minor. As you can see from the downward trending of Clay online it's blown up the wrong way.

I’ve heard a few other things but I don’t want to post about them because I would still like a second source to confirm as they are pretty damaging rumours. though some of them are pretty clear to anyone who has two eyes.

I hope this answers some peoples burning questions, if you have any more let me know.

#mayans mc #gossip #mayansfx #emily tosta #clayton cardenas #mayans mc asks #mayans fx #fx network

[darlington-v]

I know different interpretations of a work are generally enriching and cool... but c!dream villan interpretations is like how to tell me you only watch Tommy without saying you only watch tommy.... which would be fine but its not a great place to be making statements about the whole nature of the dsmp lol

Wild speculation, but sometimes I wonder if like, because the dsmp didn't really start as a narrative, and a lot of fans don't nessecarily enter it expecting a narrative, but then there is one and the fandom is really discourse heavy and everyone is sort of excpeted to have an opinion while maybe not expecting to form one from the begining or not having a ton of experience with narrative in a way that would "expect" them to have an opinion or not take things at face value??, I don't know if I explained that well at all... and I don't really even think thats right nessecarily... but like wow sometimes some of the takes about power and government and villany...

Honestly, it makes sense!!!

I think something interesting is like.... looking at how animatics have shaped the like tone and culture of the fandom essentially. Like, an interesting fact that I didn't really fully grasp until SUPER recently is like...

c!Wilbur out the gate admits he is manipulating c!Tommy. Like his first youtube video on the Dream SMP he admits his goal is to manipulate c!Tommy and people like c!Tommy into helping him achieve a potion ("drug") empire to monopolize on potions because there were a lot of people on the server who like to min-max, which is to put all of your effort into this one specific skill essentially. so like... i know minecraft doesnt have a skill tree but if it did, it would be putting all your points into that one specific branch of a skill tree. So he wanted to exploit the labor of all the TommyInnits to.... maintain a Potion Empire.

THIS IS A LONG POST BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY SO BUCKLE UP

And I don't think a lot of the fandom who joined later on knows this. I certainly didn't until like a week or so ago? Like... I knew c!Wilbur had been manipulative from the start because I'm a mod of (shameless self promo incoming) @dsmpanalysis and we have a lot of different POVs in that mod team and discord and we talk about it really frequently. I joined the fandom as someone who was really big on L'manburg ESPECIALLY crimeboys, and have turned into.... *gestures vaguely to my blog*

And ngl I owe a lot of it to @1-michibiki-1 in terms of c!Dream "Apologism" but all of the mods there have expanded my thoughts and views on the storylines of this narrative.

My application consisted of like largely essays about like... how I think Dream was the villain but he was meant to be the villain because you don't get any insight into his character WHICH.... IS A FAIR ASSUMPTION AT FIRST GLANCE. People are easily villainized when you cannot get a glimpse into their thought process. It's easy to dwindle someone down into this flat character and starting out I knew Dream didn't stream the SMP on purpose.

And I personally came to the conclusion of "Oh! So Dream is supposed to be the villain." However as the story continued and I learned more about what Dream went through I began to realize that... it's more than likely a form of a red herring. My opinions on this were immediately solidified when I watched Ranboo's 2 MIL stream because both Ranboo AND Dream agree on enjoying red herrings.

There have been MANY times were Dream has said that c!Dream is a complex character and he's not a wholly evil guy and there have been times where the narrative has honestly just proved that.

Anyways, what's important though was that... I learned most of this from other people who were more focused on c!Dream rather than myself. Eventually I shifted from c!Tommy to c!Ranboo and c!Techno after c!Tommy betrayed c!Techno and I began to realize.... everything I learned before hopping in wasn't exactly what it seemed.

Part of this is because I'm older, I heavily identify with c!Techno's sense of loyalty and philosophies on government, but I especially identify with the anguish c!Techno voiced in... a lot of lore but especially the lore around Doomsday.

I'm not 16 anymore. I don't always feel wronged by adults, or older people in my case, whenever they absolutely have done something wrong by me, but I do feel wronged by my close friends. I also felt like c!Tommy's sense of loyalty didn't line up with mine after what felt like him constantly flip-flopping and refusing to understand c!Techno's morals on government didn't line up with his.

In short, it was easier to identify with Tommy in these animatics versus in the actual stream content because c!Tommy is played by a 16 year old. I'm not a teenager and my line of thinking doesn't entirely line up with people that age anymore. It's harder to place myself in the same shoes of someone's OC who is played closer to their actual age, because I'm not that age.

Regardless, I was still on the c!Dream is a villain train. I wasn't ever like... c!Dream is repulsive I hate him, but I was like omg hot villain lad go brrr.

Even when the first like... mellohi, panic room, Ranboo lore stream popped up I thought "Oh! c!Ranboo corruption arc?"

And I was excited because I really wanted this shy, nervous character to turn into villain buddies with his good pal c!Dream. I'm a total sucker for villains and corruption arcs and all that good shit.

SO I STARTED GETTING REALLY INTERESTED IN ENDERSMILE. I'VE BEEN ON ENDERSMILE SQUAD OUT THE GATE. NOT THE SAME WAY I AM NOW, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THEM TO TEAM UP.

So... upon not really keeping up with c!Dream and being relatively??? indifferent? I don't think I started arguments on c!Dream back then, but I might have. But I remember like... starting to participate more whenever c!Dream came up and looking more into Dream's character BUT ESPECIALLY TALKING WITH OUR SERVER'S C!DREAM SPECIALIST MICHI ABOUT DREAM A LOT MORE.

And because Michi has been a watcher since day one and was a DTeam fan rather than a SBI fan, she was able to provide me with more information on how the server worked pre-Tommy but especially pre-Wilbur.

Now, you could definitely argue well Michi probably has clear bias but it made sense to me when I looked back on how the storyline had been constructed and was going along, and everyone in the server talks a lot about our own biases and how we want people to maybe not lean so hard on them. Michi would also provide like anecdotes on what had happened and I'm sure links were probably provided at one point but the point was I felt like Michi had no reason to lie or manipulate how the story was told and if she did, eventually someone would have pointed it out because... Group of like... right now it's around 20 or more analysts but I don't remember how many at the time there were. POINT BEING, WE'VE ALL GOT POINTS TO PROVE AND IN MY EXPERIENCE NOT MANY OF US HAVE BEEN SHY TO PROVE THEM.

So if anyone ever had any differing opinions they would be talked about and we literally had and still have discussions.

REGARDLESS.... I DIDN'T FACT CHECK IN DEPTH BECAUSE I THOUGHT PEER REVIEW WAS ENOUGH WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE HOURS UPON HOURS OF STREAMS TO WATCH.

Anyways. Eventually I started paying closer attention and looking more into c!Dream lore but only recently have I started to triple check before speaking about c!Wilbur lore because I know everyone has biases and while I did trust everyone's thoughts and analysis in the discord, whenever I make essays I typically like it to be largely air tight and if theres a mistake, I want it to be because I forgot not because I just trusted what was said. Plus, I wanted to get down to the specifics of how Wilbur had always started with manipulation on the mind.

SO I WATCHED HIS FIRST VIDEO ON THE DREAM SMP.

AND WHAT I WAS NOT BY ANY MEANS EXPECTING WAS WILBUR TO SAY WORD FOR WORD, VERBATIM,

"SO WHY DON'T I START AN INDUSTRY WHERE I USE THE TOMMYINNITS OF THE WORLD TO WORK FOR ME, TO CREATE THINGS THAT THE MIN-MAXERS OF THE WORLD WILL WANT."

Like... this is in no way an attempt to like hardcore villainize c!Wilbur like everyone does Dream, it's just more so to like REALLY outline how far off a lot of fandom interpretation of c!Wilbur is....

Because of SBI focused animatics.

Now, when I joined I watched A LOT of animatics that really highlighted like... Wilbur being this self-loathing JD-esque, "I destroyed it because I had to because the world was against me because no one loved us, Tommy" type of character. At least... that's what it came across as.

And it definitely highlighted the fact that Tommy was a victim, which he is. He is undoubtedly a victim and no not even any dream apologist can change my mind otherwise. Tommy, despite being an instigator sometimes, didn't deserve the abuse he received.

But these animatics never shown the fact that c!Wilbur started L'manburg as a shady ploy to exploit people like c!Tommy and vilify c!Dream so he could have power.

And that was easy because Dream and Tommy had wars before. They had spars and pranks and here's the plan to take back my disks and here's the plan to out smart the thieving little child etc etc.

And all of the animatics I watched never mentioned this. Neither did the recaps though. The recaps gave the events flat out, there didn't sound like there was bias, and honestly I don't really know if there was rather than like... a lack of nuance. And it's hard to provide a recap with that much nuance in a short period of time for a youtube video, to be perfectly fair.

However, this creates a perfect formula for entirely rewriting the history of a server. c!Wilbur quite literally fucking succeeded TO A META LEVEL. He slandered and ran smear campaigns against Dream and like he even does that with Sapnap in the beginning. But what's crazy is that it transferred over into the meta! Most of this fandom understands Wilbur as a victim of mental illness, and yeah maybe? He definitely wasn't mentally well by the end of pogtopia, but he never started out with honorable intentions. L'manburg was never a victim, only its citizens. The TommyInnits of the world.

I just think it's like... such an interesting case study. Because this is like... an opinion like shared by at least half of the fandom, but the vilifying of c!Dream is shared by MOST of the fandom I would argue. Which is like even more crazy for me because that was c!Wilbur's goal!!!

LIKE I GO INSANE WHEN I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE HIS REACH IS JUST TOO POWERFUL. HE'S NOT EVEN ENTIRELY REAL, JUST A MANIPULATIVE PERSONA OF SOME BRITISH GUY.

And I mean... maybe people who have watched Wilbur's video on the SMP still maintain this idea that Wilbur wasn't always the bad guy, but honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if their introduction was still an animatic. Like bias is hard to check and I'm not going to lie I could have sworn I watched both Wilbur's AND Tommy's video on the SMP in the beginning and yet I STILL was a ride or die for tragic yet on some level still honorable Wilbur and a resilient Tommy.

Like... upon watching Wilbur's first video... possibly again I was surprised because I thought I did watch it like right before I even started watching the streams and yet I was still so invested in c!Wilbur as this tortured anti-hero.

It took 6 months of... not being in an echo chamber, full of multiple different people of different ages, different stream POVS, and people who joined the fandom at different points in time.

IDK IF THIS WAS EVEN ENTIRELY RELEVANT IT JUST FELT TANGENTIALLY RELEVANT AND THIS WAS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A HOT MINUTE AFTER LIKE WATCHING WILBUR'S FIRST VIDEO AGAIN.

TLDR;

SBI CENTRIC ANIMATICS HAD A LASTING AFFECT ON THIS FANDOM AS IT'S HARD TO GO BACK AND ACTUALLY CHECK THE NARRATIVE FOR SOLID FACTS FOR YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION BASED ON THE FACT THAT THIS NARRATIVE SPANS OVER HUNDREDS OF HOURS WORTH OF TWITCH STREAMS.

#asks #anon #dream smp #dsmp #dsmp analysis #dream smp analysis #dsmp meta #dream smp meta #my analysis #long post

[inkdemonapologist]

more TIOL Joey/Sammy rambling

I keep thinking about the implications of TIOL on Sammy and Joey’s relationship to each other and I keep REALLY feeling like it’s more and more apparent that we are NOT getting the full story, from either of them...

So here’s some, rambling and musings???? First off, some of the timing of what we have is interesting to me:

>> 1931/1930(?) The Illusion of Living Joey describes Sammy as unimpressed and dismissive. Sammy is two steps ahead and Joey follows along, trying very hard to impress him, and agrees to everything Sammy demands without question. It's made very clear that Joey needs Sammy more than Sammy needs Joey. Joey says he's lucky to have Sammy, but also insists that Sammy is actually here because Joey's doing something right -- otherwise, Sammy would obviously leave.

>> 1935 Sammy's BatDR promo audiolog Sammy's frustrated with Joey's poor planning, which is leading him to long hours and troubling dreams, a workload so terrible he doesn't think he'll be able to keep it up for long without losing his mind. He describes this as "typical," but snarkily dismisses his own concerns, saying "someone has to keep the little devil happy," and it's unclear if he means Bendy or Joey.

>> 1941 The Illusion of Living Joey describes his day-to-day relationship with Sammy much as they started -- Sammy makes his demands (stay out of the music department, only meet when scheduled), and only interacts as necessary; Joey scrambles to accommodate him while heaping praise on him.

>> 1943-1946 BatIM, Sammy's second and third audiologs; Norman's first audiolog At some point after the ink machine is installed, Sammy complains that it's interrupting his work constantly, and that the “solution” to help with the leaking is making the interruptions even worse. He levels these complaints directly at Joey, and his comment about "more distractions" could imply that interruptions were a recurring problem before the machine.

We don't know when the Sanctuary was created, but it's clear Sammy was getting pretty desperate for an escape when he started kicking everyone out of recording just to get some peace.

>> 1946 Newspaper in the Employee's Handbook Sammy publicly praises Joey’s leadership, telling the press that Joey "runs a pretty tight ship" and that there's no problem with the workload at JDS - that's just how this industry is. They’re better off without the people who couldn’t keep up.

>> 1946 DCTL, infected human Sammy Sammy immediately blames Joey for the accident with the ink and pipes in his storage closet but lashes out at Buddy, as if he needed some target for his anger and it couldn’t be the actual person responsible. Despite the fact that Thomas almost CERTAINLY told Joey about Sammy's weird behaviour, and was correct about Sammy stealing ink, Sammy suffers no consequences and in fact continues to have access to ink he really shouldn't have access to for a WHILE. (Also, as thedreamfisher has pointed out, Joey is the first to notice Sammy is missing, and he’s VERY upset about it).

>> 1946 DCTL, transformed Sammy Sammy speaks dismissively about Joey; his monologue pities the boys he's kidnapped for "living your sad little lives [...] to please Joey Drew," a weird accusation that he does not have anywhere near enough information to make. Either Sammy's getting more details than we realise about Buddy from Joey, or he's projecting -- Sammy was the one working so hard to please a man, to “make the little devil happy,” when he could've been pleasing a god.

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Well before TIOL there was a good amount of Potential Evidence that Sammy and Joey may have been an item at one time, and Dreamfisher has already gone over some of what TIOL has added to the pile. But it also introduces some REALLY INTERESTING contradictions --

Joey consistently describes Sammy as being in control and calling the shots, taking a whole weird tangent to point out that Sammy must think Joey’s doing something right, since he stayed on at JDS when he’s definitely skilled enough to find work elsewhere. Sammy corroborates this several years later, telling the paper that Joey's doing a good job. But we know that can't be true - privately, Sammy's diary is full of impotent complaints. He keeps shrugging off untenable working conditions with dismissive, frustrated sarcasm, as if there's nothing he can do about it -- while TIOL would have us believe that Joey would do anything to keep Sammy happy and jumps to meet all his demands. So why does Sammy act so powerless, complaining uselessly in BATIM and lashing out at his coworkers in DCTL? And we can’t shrug it off as JUST getting worse over time, because the timelines overlap -- Joey describes himself acquiescing to Sammy's demands as late as 1941, while Sammy is privately complaining about Joey’s terrible management as early as 1935 -- and then Sammy himself loyally defends Joey as late as 1946. There’s something fishy here.

You can chalk a lot up to them secretly being lovers with the idea that Joey has a point -- professionally, Sammy could leave easily. He's brilliant, and Joey has surprisingly not taken credit for that brilliance in his book; with his reputation and resume, Sammy could absolutely find respectable work outside of JDS. And it's clear from his audiologs he doesn't actually think Joey is good at running this company, nor is working here particularly pleasant. So why DOESN'T he leave??? There must be SOME reason... maybe a PERSONAL reason... some reason that sammy DOESNT WANT TO SAY....... some reason he keeps COMPLAINING ABOUT JOEY while still being WAY CLOSER TO HIM than most of the staff and getting SPECIAL TREATMENT........ HMMMMMMMM,

But there's... also another possibility here that like, the Joey doth protest too much? That shows up in the way he talks about Henry -- HENRY LEFT, AND IM HAPPY ABOUT IT ACTUALLY, IM NOT UPSET AT ALL, LIKE, SUCKS FOR HENRY BUT IT WAS A GOOD THING FOR ME!!!! -- Joey insists so vehemently that it’s easy to see the opposite is true. So uh........ why are you so intent on bringing up that Sammy could definitely leave if he wanted? That you can’t make him do anything? Why... say that at all? “Im lucky but also it’s not luck I made it happen but also he could leave if he wanted to like I can’t MAKE him stay haha” is a wild little unnecessary tangent for someone you’re DEFINITELY not blackmailing or manipulating, as Sammy’s behaviour gets more desperate and weird and he obediently tells the press that not only is there no problem, but Joey is doing a great job, and as he clings to the first powerful thing that promises him an escape from this life and this job and scrawls “he will set us free” on his music despite having nothing, seemingly, to be set free from.

Whether it’s a manipulative relationship or outright blackmail (or both!!), it REALLY feels like there's some element of the relationship between these two that we're only seeing shadows of.

----------------------------------------------

And then there’s that WEIRD “who does a god worship” conversation. I know Bendy books are not terribly subtle in their foreshadowing, but like.... still, it’s so on the nose, TOO on the nose, for what happens to Sammy, and it’s entirely initiated by Joey. Sammy isn’t interested in this conversation and only participates to indulge Joey, and then Joey fixates on his answer so much that the very next chapter he talks about wanting to become a god. The events of DCTL as remembered by Buddy seem to set Sammy’s transformation up as an accident, but the idea that Joey has this “so, hypothetically, what would a god like you worship, just wondering” question that gets the noncommittal answer of “something much cooler that hasn’t been created yet” and then Sammy just so happens to accidentally be infected in a way that results in him fervently worshipping Bendy, is a pretty wild coincidence that feels like it goes way beyond irony. This REALLY makes me wonder if Joey had a hand in Sammy’s fate after all...

For a while I’ve liked the one theory that Sammy’s not drinking ink from the machine, he’s drinking ink straight from the ink demon, which explains why he’s unique both physically (he’s the only non-toon with four fingers) and mentally (he’s the only one with that desperate devotion to the demon). Thomas surely reported Sammy’s weird interest in the ink to Mr. Drew after their argument so... Joey has to know, right? Is he... intentionally supplying Sammy’s closet with ink? Was getting Sammy to finally worship him/his creation actually an outcome he was attempting to engineer?

----------------------------------------------

That little aside about wanting to shove Sammy and give him a scare on the balcony may have been more revealing than Joey realised. It works startling well with the idea of a relationship where Joey is trying to push the limits of what Sammy can endure and find the point where he breaks -- from the moment they properly met, he wanted to see what Sammy looks like when he's afraid and not in control, if only for a second.

#bendy spoilers #bendy: the illusion of living spoilers #sammy lawrence #joey x sammy #we all write on the walls #we write A LOT on the walls apparently good grief #no actual solid conclusions here just lots of PONDERING #the illusion of living #the canon crew

[inchandescence]

To Anon

Question:  Yeolmaes hate baekhyun mostly because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never said anything about it, instead he kinda validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies Understand that yeolmaes have to deal with hundreds of hate messages written in Korean everyday and they are at a breaking point considering most of them come from bbh’s own fans How is it possible to like chanyeol and baekhyun at the same time in a situation like this? Do you even take chanyeol feelings into consideration? No? Not even once? He has to deal with thousands of nasty comments coming from bbh fanbase while bbh comes on Twitter reminding them how cute they are and how much he loves them If you cbkists choose to ignore this and baekhyun is actually in a relationship with Pcy it just means that you all couldn’t give less of a shit about chanyeol as a person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks

Answer: Anon...sighs you can't see something from one point of view only really, but it's okay i get you, ok so let us talk about this one by one: 1. You said: Yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never say anything about it -When you perceive the assumption that baekhyun stans hate chanyeol the most, did u believe it right or did u question it, like why its baekhyun stans, if its true then since when they started hating chanyeol, and why do they hate chanyeol, does their reason make sense or its just stupid like how other bbhls who hate other exo members too (for example some bbhls hate jd bcs both are main vocalists and they think jd is stealing bh's spot as a vocalist) -But at the same time, we cant find the exact number that would proof that bbhls are the ones who hate chanyeol the most, we only can see what twitter shows us, and it happened to me too that i see bbhls throw hate to chanyeol the most -But at the same time too, I've been seeing yeolmaes who throw hate at baekhyun too since years ago without me knowing the reason why they do that, and I keep questioning it everytime why yeolmaes suddenly started hating baekhyun so bad, when did it start -AND at the same time too, I've been seeing other exo member stans throwing hate to either baekhyun or chanyeol -But my twitter algorithm is the same as you anon, it shows that bbhls hate chanyeol the most and yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most, so I do often make the assumption that bbhls and yeolmaes are always on each other's throat -But yet again, I don't know who started hating the first time, is it bbhls, is it yeolmaes, and why they did that -This knowledge is unknown to me so based on this, to me the most right way is to think that both sides are wrong because hating is always the worse way to deal with things, the fact that we know is chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends they are always there for each other, usually when ppl see im saying this they will say its fake and its fan service, but people can choose to not see what they dont wanna see, so the easiest proofs to prove that chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends is one chanyeol is the only member in exo that baekhyun wished happy birthday on his instagram, two both of them support each other for candy and 1 billion views by coming to the mv bts, three baekhyun and chanyeol go to vocal lessons together, four chanyeol had taken a photo with all of baekhyun's bucheon friends before so in that photo baekhyun, chanyeol, and baekhyun's bucheon friends (istg if people see these as fan service then it doesnt make sense right?)

Before we go to the next thing, I have this assumption that chanyeol and baekhyun are two members that have the highest popularity in sk, either they are the top 3 or top 4, and my reason is bcs everytime there are individual album/photobook covers sold offline, their individual covers sold out the fastest, everytime, even with nature republic stuffs, ok so there's this possibility that we keep seeing yeolmaes and bbhls on each other's throat everytime bcs well both of them are two of the most popular exo members in SK (i mean even in china, chanyeol and baekhyun are the most popular members with sehun, there's data for this)

2. You said: Baekhyun never say anything about this, he kinda "validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere and voiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies"

-First of all, let's look at a bigger picture, is there any idol in the k-industry like ANY IDOL that ever said to their fans "guys don't say that to my member" IS THERE. ANY.? what I know is: there is none, none at all zero zip nothing, and if there's at least one or two idols, then its just one or two idols right -And thats it anon, thats just about it, idols dont have the absolute freedom of speech, they never do, and its hurting them all of them, all they can say is: "I love EXO, I miss EXO members the most, EXO is my home" and most solo stans who see that will just say "its bs" yet solo stans are also asking for proofs that the members relationship are fine -None of these kpop idols ever say anything about hate speech from their fans that are thrown to their friends/bandmates, and this kind of thing happens in every fandom anon, not just chanyeol and baekhyun, it's just how korean entertainment industry is, idols never have the ultimate freedom to say or do anything

3. Not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him, saying he doesnt like musical movies -That not showing up to the box premiere really changed the way you think huh anon, yeah I think that event also changed many yeolmaes' perspectives sighs okay, not showing up to the box premiere is like a very open information we can easily see it from one tweet that didnt mention baekhyun name during that event -BUT for other cases "avoid mentioning him" and "saying he doesnt like musical movies" is not a very open information, by this i mean u have to read alllll of the things baekhyun say, look at the trans for all of his vlives/shows/etc, read the whole trans for baekhyun's last vlive before he goes to the military, so u or other yeolmaes after that situation are either trying to "search for baekhyun's act or words that deny fans opinion about how they hate each other" bcs u still "have hope in baekhyun" or "search for baekhyun's act or words that support my perspective about how he hates chanyeol and never defend cy from bbhls" -"Validate their feelings" how? once again, it's just what bbhls think, did baekhyun do and say all of that because well "his motive is to support bbhls that hate chanyeol" and who are you, who are we to say that, are we our bias? can we go inside their minds and goes aha! this is why they do this and that! well no. because once again thats the entertainment industry, the chances for idols to "explain" all of the bad situations esp when its about how their fans act, is very veryyy low, or like the chance is even minus

-We are just fans who watch them on cam, without knowing what's on their mind or what is everything they are going through behind the camera, we know nothing, all of our opinions are just perspective that our mind created that turned into assumptions, we could never know the truth because kpop industry prevents their artist from showing the truths that may "hurt" people, who actually deserve to be hurt, but those people are the "money makers" for the company, it's bad it's toxic it's awful that just bcs they have to "maintain the money makers" idols can never get that freedom -Same goes with baekhyun, gdi we dont know him, we really really dont know him, his mind, his motives and reasons for his actions, who are we to judge him and call him selfish? -But what we know is baekhyun helping to defend chanyeol when that fake rumor was spreading by tweeting the mosquito thing, what we know is baekhyun and chanyeol doing their choreo for DFTF together that was practiced since early 2021 until before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun saying chanyeol he's fine when fans asked on japanese fansign, what we know is them still doing vocal lessons together, going to vocal lesson tgt too on march after the box premiere (bcs chanyeol's hair was grey in the vlog) before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun loving and singing "tomorrow" tgt with chanyeol, so what we know is they keep spending time with each other as bandmates and friends 

"do you ever take chanyeol's feeling into consideration, you all couldnt give less of a shit about chanyeol as person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks" 1. Baekhyun tweeting that mosquito tweet to defend chanyeol -Responses>> People went: oh he's just defending himself, he's being selfish once again, he doesnt care about chanyeol 2. Baekhyun answering fans question about chanyeol's condition -Responses>> No one translated this after few days OP has translated Original post Jan 29: https://twitter.com/tomo_exo/status/1355177834185064451?s=20 First ever translation on FEB 13 (AND FROM A CBKIST): https://twitter.com/NTH_2705/status/1360626904756228096?s=20 Also this cbkist isnt always active translating, I know her, she's not on Twitter as much as other trans account and she doesnt understand japanese, so she actually found the post on weibo and translated it from chinese thats why it was translated 2 weeks after, but before her? does ANY account translate this? well no. 3. Baekhyun and Chanyeol doing choreo in DFTF tgt -No BTS, no anything from SM, people who hate seeing them tgt can ignore easily, chanbaek stans can only watch the part over and over 4. Baekhyun and Chanyeol practicing their hitting the woah part in just usual mv -Again no one commented about this, except chanbaek stans bcs this is easily ignored 5. Lesson With Baekhyun -Responses>> yeolmaes went "chanyeol don't do this, chanyeol im not watching this, chanyeol what are you doing, i want chanyeol only, oh god why is chanyeol with him again, chanyeol is feeding chanbaekist, his fans (bbhls) gonna come at us again, fuck this im not watching" and bbhls went "the translation is wrong look theyre trying to sabotage bbh" and yeolmaes replied with "good for him haha, ya serves him right for being selfish" and also "why is it always chanyeol who does this kind of thing and never baekhyun? oh right because hes selfish hes sm golden boy he never gonna do this bcs his channel is own by SM" "look he promoted kyoongtube even in the nng" "look SM posted kyoongtube but not NNG u can see whos the mistreated one him"

All of those 5 things I mentioned, even tho some are small things....they got mostly negative responses from yeolmaes and bbhls who are not cbkist dont they? The things that prove chanyeol and baekhyun are always there for each other and they are bandmates, true friends, nothing change between them And yet, what did bbhls and yeolmaes do? Throw negative shits and comments to those things, esp Lesson With Baekhyun, and until now still hate Baekhyun... when Lesson With Baekhyun, is a vlog recorded by Chanyeol alone, he taped his phone in the car, he added Candy MV BTS with Baekhyun calling him "chanyeol ah" and baekhyun smiling while holding the food, a vlog where he praised baekhyun's vocals, prepared playlist for him, sing tomorrow together with him, laughing during their vocal lesson, and just...doing things tgt

And yet people still call it a fanservice? feeding chanbaekist? baekhyun is still selfish? when chanyeol worked hard preparing that vlog, providing it for us, baekhyun and chanyeol practicing their part tgt for DFTF, baekhyun tweeting the mosquito tweet

When Chanyeol and Baekhyun have done so many things together, after the fake rumor, after the box premiere, proving they are still good friends... so do you even take chanyeol's feelings into consideration? oh wait not just feelings, his efforts, his time, him uploading to NNG about him hanging out with Baekhyun, have you ever take that to consideration? or just ignore all those facts because "whatever i still hate baekhyun" 

So two options: 1. Hating and keep hating and telling others selfish because yall hate the fact that baekhyun never do this and that, that yall wanted him to do, but actually we don't know the reason why, we just don't know anything at all, accept assumptions that "baekhyun validated fans feeling" and thats according to you, your mind, your perspective, oh wait... it's all about you? 2. Know and accept and support and love, chanyeol and baekhyun's friendship, because thats what we know, thats what themselves say to us, thats what themselves been doing, accepting the fact that "chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends" and know we are not in the position to turn the friendship into bad relationship bcs what? bcs it comes from chanyeol and baekhyun themselves, not yeolmaes, not bbhls, not even exols, and so be a fan that know chanyeol and baekhyun have good relationship, keep reporting bbhls who said bad things about cy and vice versa, bcs what? we never want chanyeol to see that after lesson with baekhyun, apparently his "fans" still think baekhyun, his best friend and bandmate, is still a selfish person who doesnt care about chanyeol, so chanyeol is happy that we know and appreciate his relationship with baekhyun, with exo members because we care about chanyeol's feelings, because we trust his actions, his words, and we love everything he does, and also we love everyone around chanyeol that he loves

So choose... and last thing, are social media and on cam interactions, are enough to "measure" a group of people's relationships, so if your best friend never post any picture of you on their instagram and never tell stories about you to other people who well, actually are also strangers, living thousand miles away from you and your best friend, then it's okay for those strangers to say that your best friend hates you? avoiding to be affiliated with you? a selfish person? Have people ever think that it's tiring that just because you're a celebrity, you have to show everything, including minds, feelings, emotions, actions, personal reasons, to your fans? For them to be validated? And for them to turn into facts? Well, at least for me, the things I don't know then I don't know, I don't have the right to judge, and the things I know, especially positive things, that came from my own idols, that's what I'm holding on, that's what I support. *extra note: exo members always call us as EXO-Ls, not bbhls, not yeolmaes, not anyone, but EXO-Ls, so when they say they love us, "loved ones" are those who say themselves are EXO-Ls, who loves EXO as 9 members, because that's the fact

Have a good day anon, stay safe and healthy, God bless you, spread love and not hate

#chanbaek #chanyeol #baekhyun #exo #kpop #baekyeol

[winterandwords]

Hi! I have a question if you don't mind me asking? This is eyes-talks-ocs by the way! (Since you can only send asks from a main blog).

So, what is transgressive fiction, exactly? I'm asking because I don't think I've ever seen a book labeled as such, at least outside of the internet. But I'm also asking because I don't actually know what exact genre to pin my current project as. (I've just been calling it dystopian, but that has never quite fit right.)

I did Google just a little bit. I didn't really get a full sense of what it is though.

Anyway, if you do feel like answering. Thank you!

Hello! I'm totally fine to answer and yeah, it's very hard to explain. It's maybe easier to give examples. The first three authors that come to my mind (as in, based on my preferences and reading) are Chuck Palahniuk, Bret Easton Ellis and Irvine Welsh, if that helps. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S Thompson. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. Post Office by Charles Bukowski. Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger.

Transgressive can overlap with other genres and definitions. It can be horror, sci-fi, noir, historical, dark contemporary, dirty realism, slipstream etc, so it often isn't listed as a genre on its own. If you look for lists of great transgressive fiction, you'll see a whole bunch of different genres represented, as well as books that don't seem like they'd have a lot in common.

In terms of subject and style, it's like...shit is fucked RIGHT up and it's impossible to miss. The wrongness, whether the characters see it that way or not, is generally the focus of the story. The conflict is often person vs self and/or person vs society.

Regardless of the setting (American Psycho and Trainspotting are very different books on the surface, for example), there's a strong thread of degeneracy and a sense of existing outside of or just below the shiny facade of society's norms, morals, ethics and values.

Rather than having a redemption, recovery or punished-for-doing-the-bad-things arc, stories tend to bring you into the characters' world as if it's normal, because to them it is, and then you're along for the ride. Characters often get where they're going not by realising the error of their ways and transforming their lives for the better, but by leaning more heavily into the fuckuptitude that got them to the bottom of the downward spiral in the first place.

The outrage industrial complex takes issue with it because some people don't grasp that fiction can be an exploration of extremes of the human condition in a sandboxed imaginary environment and not a guidebook for how to live a good life. So criticism of toxicity, cruelty, and illegal, immoral actions is often levelled at authors as though they're suggesting the events in their books are aspirational (which, obviously, no-one who writes books like this is actually doing because OMG of course not).

It shits in your brain, in the best possible way, and it's an adventure through the darker aspects of life. That's what I love about it. It challenges perceptions and gets your brain cogs turning, but definitely isn't to everyone's taste (which is totally fine!).

I hope that helps. It's not easy to describe, so if my rambling doesn't make a lot of sense, check out some of the examples in the first paragraph and books similar to those for a possibly clearer idea :-)

#writeblr #transgressive fiction #the shit in my head #writeblr community #am writing #creative writing #writers #writing community #writers community

[manggaetteokkie]

jason also admitted on ellen that he only recognized bts after a poll between fandoms in an awards show in 2017, in which armys won by a large margin. i know i shouldn’t trust him after he asked armys for 10m likes on tiktok smh

Honestly, I can’t fault someone for learning about BTS through the fandom, because it’s pretty damn amazing what we do, especially if they’re not really aware of the forces affecting the industry outside of their own little bubble.

That being said, I can 100% be salty about them using the boys only for clout afterwards. Honestly, I don’t want to be too angry on the boy’s behalf because I feel like Savage Love was just one of their side gigs done for fun and they were likely quite aware of how things would play out in terms of taking credit and stuff. As much as we consider them our babies, the boys are likely very aware of the shit that goes on in the industry, probably way more than they let on.

Still, it was kinda funny how JD was like “get me 10M likes and I’ll let you in on a secret~”, only to have BH be like “y’all hear sumn?” and release the news of the featuring right after fhjdjshdksk he tried but BH wasn’t playing either

#thanks for the ask! #anon #anonymous #answered #bangtan #bts #jason derulo #savage love laxed siren beat feat bts #my post #my stuff

[destinyc1020]

This can be a bit controversial for tomdayas, but I think it's ok to run it by you cuz you're more open-minded. I think that Z was being wooed by JDW during August & September. The key for me isn't the theater sighting, but his follow of Carmen. He doesn't follow a lot of people & Carmen has a lowly position in Hollywood. I think that JD was visiting Zs home. At the same time she was rebuilding her friendship with Tom. But it seems that JD wants to settle down soon & Z isn't ready for that

Mmmm.... idk? 🤷🏾‍♀️

I honestly don't see any real tangible signs that he was after her tbh lol. Plus, was Z really feeling like being in another relationship back in August after the crazy Jacdaya breakup? 🤔

I mean, I guess anything is possible. 🤷🏾‍♀️

For right now I just see Z and JDW as industry friends. I think if he had been trying to be more he would have been there on her hike with her family, and he would have certainly been there for her Emmy win. 👀

Who knows? Maybe they will date some time in the future? For right now though, I haven't seen much of anything that tells me that they were ever anything other than just friends. I think it's good that Z has connections now like the Washington's in Hollywood. 😊And I'm sure Carmen has prob met JD before.

But feel free to believe whatever you want Anon. ;)

[bonnienapierfilm]

WORKFLOW + CCT

Final Project - Scene Recreation

Recreation of a scene from Baby Driver (2017)

https://vimeo.com/491846046 

The original scene

https://youtu.be/rvYnnJ1zsUE 

Crew

Jack Birrell - Director, Bonnie Sanderson - Editor/Producer, Alex Caldow - DOP/ Producer, James Fox - Sound, Samuel Tabotta - Sound/ Camera operator.

Starring

James Fox - Bats, Bonnie Sanderson - Doc, Jack Birrell - Baby/Eddie, Alex Caldow - JD.

Pre-Production

When choosing a scene, we mainly listed films we love. However, after giving it some thought, using ShotDeck to minimise the search for a scene requiring a couple teen actors would have been helpful, as Baby Driver requires multiple actors of multiple ethnicities. After a search for suitable actors, we had to settle with using ourselves (not an acting course). Due to Cal from our group having to leave for home early, we only had 4 from the group left over, meaning the group shot would be impossible to film unless we where to set it up and just watch what was being filmed from the monitor. So James Fox from the course offered to help out (lifesaver) and played Bats as well as some camera and sound operating. 

We took some photos of the rough costumes and props so we could get a feel of what the preparation would be like on shoot day. 

Myself, Alex and Jack went charity shopping for props and costumes. We found a great suit for Doc and a blue patterned shirt for Eddie. We had to compromise with a plain yellow t-shirt for JD and just rolled the sleeves up, as well as sticking paper to a red jumped we bought for Bats. The rest of the props came together quite easily, finding toy cars and recreating the black board using paper and white pen. 

The studio we planned on filming in already had tables and chairs so that wasn't a concern, however we should have thought about the background. As the original scene has a busy background and some green on the pillars, if we had found something green to compensate for this it would have been better. So, most of the problems we faced where linked with the location in which we filmed, although it’s probably the best we could have found due to time restrictions and covid. The walls were incredibly white and made our shots look quite flat and generally just uninteresting compared to the original scene. 

Alex had planned out all our shots in terms of lighting, lenses and framing. It helped us stay really organised on the day of the shoot and I feel it would have been a lot more troublesome hadn’t Alex prepared this.  

The planning document:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iKBeYIbA3CZMcQUt0Q6a2EaaEuKo9VwPZ71b34jAyw0/edit?usp=sharing

Production 

Sadly, we ran into struggles before even reaching the shooting location on the shoot day. Sophie from our group had to pull out due to potential covid carrying. This meant we had no one to film the group shot, after messaging a few people, Samuel Tabotta came to our rescue! We had booked the studio out from 9:30am until 5pm, thanks to Ben who stayed longer so we could use equipment and put it away, luckily we managed to get it all filmed in time and he didn't have to stay too much later than 5pm!

We bounced Sachtler lamps off a bounce board to create a more soft lighting then filled the rest with an LED light. The lighting wasn't exactly the same but filming a daylight scene in a blackout studio was always a worry of mine, I had felt myself forgetting this was a lighting exercise and not just a fun project to recreate a scene we love.

Some shots were more complicated than just stills. So, in addition to trying to recreate the lighting and set, we had to recreate the same shot movement. For sliding shots we put a soft t-shirt on the table and placed the camera on top of it, with someone simply pulling the jacket from left to right to get the movement. This wasn't the best method however was the best we could could do with what we had, as first years are not allowed to use tracks. 

For the long push in, I brought my skateboard from home and Alex slowly pushed the end towards our actor, Jack. I also had to control the focus, so we took many many (many many many) takes until we finally took one we where happy with that wasn't too shaky. We also needed to record sound for this shot, so James had to sit on the ground to be out of the frame, we forgot to book out a mic pole, so he held his arm under the table to get Jacks monologue. Due to taking so many (many many many) takes, I'm sure his arm was in a lot of pain afterwards. 

Post-Production

Myself, Jack and Alex edited together back at the accommodation, taking around 3 hours to get it all done. Editing is what I am more attracted to within the film industry, so I requested to do most of the work. I especially LOVE watching scenes perfectly edited to the soundtracks Baby Driver is an obvious favourite for me (if only Spacey hadn’t linked his bad name with a good movie!). I think the music within the scene aided the edit as we could time the shots with the beats of the music, I think we were ever so slightly off but for a first time music edit, I was pretty proud of our work.  Alex had noticed a pen clicking sound within the scene, so we recorded the sound and inserted it at the correct times - which I do feel adds to the tension of the scene, making me realise even the smallest unnoticeable details are just as important to a scene. When grading, it was quite difficult as we had so much white in our takes, and getting the contrast needed for the scene was a challenge as it would black out our actors when putting even the slightest contrast. Resulting in a flat image in our final. 

Comparison (I like) 

Bar the obvious loss of a blue grade on the original,, I feel we all did quite well acting considering we are not acting students! I am proud of the attention to detail we had put into the props as I feel it makes up for the incorrect colouring and loss of set depth. 

Comparison (I dislike)

This shot is a far cry from the original. I think it was a shot we had taken after getting the sound working so felt stressed and short for time. It is a low (ish) angle and I feel we shot from too straight on. As well as the very off colour grading, this shot is very unsimilar to the original, however it is used in the fast paced montage at the beginning with music, so it’s a shot that was least important to us to get spot on. 

Overall, I am proud of the outcome. We put in a lot of work and despite being a project for uni, I thoroughly enjoyed the whole process (despite being stressful). The crit was the next day, the feedback from the module leaders and class made me very happy. There was an appreciation for the detail we put into the props and editing, and a comedic tone was received which I was hoping, as getting into a suit and playing a 50 year old man (60?..70?) was funny to me. We haven’t done a great deal of editing and colouring, so from the knowledge we had I think we did as good as we could have. 

(A photo of Jack checking our framing that I like)

#workflow+cct

[juliankinney]

━━ ( alex fitzalan + cis male + twenty-two ) oi , have you seen julian kinney around ? he lives in flat 14 in bedroom 4 ? i was meant to meet them this morning at bean me up before our lecture but he didn’t show . no ? well , shit . if you do see them , can you tell them i’m looking for them ? they’re a 4th year computer science student from madrid , spain & you’ll know it’s them because they might just remind you of a stack of unread books , the sound of keyboard typing at three in the morning , coffee creamer in every flavor , & unprescribed pills if that helps at all . just be careful , he can be a little distant , critical , & compulsive sometimes . —- oh don’t look like that , they’re usually ingenious , reliable , & confident most of the time . ✏ y! , 22 , she/her , cst

alright whats up guys, as jd once said, greetings and salutations!! im y and this here is julian, who i’ve known for two hours but adore already anyway. i usually play dumbass boys and he’s no exception, but i like to think he might just be a little less dumb than the rest of them. so lets jump into it!!! ♡

for starters here is his messy pinterest board that i made.. like i said... it is a mess, and still a work in progress but y’all can have it anyway!! (fun fact: was gonna make him texan but pepper called him country boy and i was triggered!!!!!!!!!!)

backstory:

 julian was the conception of two teenagers in love during the 90′s in spain; a local and a tourist. the pair were just seventeen when they became parents but it was a whole ordeal at the time because his father’s side of the family did not want anything to do with this impregnated nobody. it wasn’t his grandfather’s vision!!! his son was supposed to go into adulthood unscathed by his mistakes!!! as you can guess julian’s mom side of the family were your blue-collared society while his father’s side was more white-collared. at the time his mother was a student and helped her own mom with the family tailor shop while her father worked as a cook in a restaurant. on the other end of the spectrum, the kinney’s were in the film industry and of old money. needless to say, the two families had little in common.

the kinney’s tried to pay this girl off but her family was 100% not having it and after many arguments and empty threats they came to an agreement. said agreement was that julian would have his rightful surname and would stay in spain and the family would receive a weekly stipend for his expenses. in return no one would say a thing to the press— which, honestly was only ever a threat because the kinney’s wanted to pretend like nothing had happened. 

and so julian grew up in madrid with a single mother and the help of his grandparents. as far as he knew his father had died shortly after he had been born and had been madly in love with his mother (that part was true). the only reason he didn’t share a name with the rest of his family was because the pair had never married, which, would have been the truth regardless. everything was fine; he grew up working at the family shop, attended school, skipped school, maintained amazing grades while simultaneously spending 1/3rd of the time in detention, lost his virginity to marisol cordova in her lilac colored room, etc. he had the most basic upbringing a kid could have.

then his father died. his real father. and suddenly, on paper, he was well off. it wasn’t easy for his mother to tell him the truth when his grandfather stepped foot into the one story home like he had seventeen years ago with that sour look on his face, but she was forced to. she had no other choice. devastated as she was (and she was truly heartbroken), she told him the story of how one day during the summer of 96′ she met james kinney, and how the next year he came back. then, his grandfather informed him of his father’s will and how he’d have access to his inheritance once he turned eighteen.

it was... a lot to process, and as julian does when he feels overwhelmed, he got angry. he was very upset with his mother and even more so with this old man he was meeting for the first time who kept calling him shit like ‘his only grandson’ and ‘a kinney by blood’. it was infuriating for julian, and his mother further telling him about their weekly allowance among other expenses over the years did not help. at all.

that is how julian found out his father was a successful actor turned director, generally known for an action packed franchise released in the 2000′s. it was mind boggling— he’d turn on the tv only to see a picture of his now dead father on screen, news coverage of the deadly car accident that occurred during en route to manchester on every channel. it just didn’t make any sense and was very hard to feel sad for. besides, his mother had enough sadness for the both of them. at his funeral, the two had to stay in the back while the family tried to come up with a game plan of how things were going to move forward; james’ widow was not happy to see her husbands former lover and child at the scene. 

anyways in spite the fact that julian wanted nothing to do with the kinney’s, his grandfather had other plans. a vision of his own for the only grandchild his son had brought into the world, and that started with schooling. julian graduated and had no plans for college until his grandfather threatened to contest the will if he chose to stray from the path, and they needed the money; so college it was. a college of his grandfather’s choice of course, and what better place than somewhere closed off enough to distance julian from the outer world but elite in its own right? 

his grandfather’s plan basically is to make him successful, and being that julian has no interest in their world, he’s had to compromise and just live with the fact that julian is just going to be your regular everyday man. he’s only really doing all of this because he feels guilt over the years but not guilty enough to tell the world that there’s an extra kinney lying around (last names are so common right!?!??!) . however, he still wants him to be in the family. as in everyone in the direct family knows of him and he gets to be involved in all family affairs, etc, but julian just does not give a fuck about them fksdhjfs specially because of how they fucked over his mom and how james’ widow is so fucking bitter about the will.

ANYWAYS he’s been at the school for four years now, gets his schooling paid by his grandfather but still has a job because pride or whatever, and will hack into your shit!

personality/hc’s

i love him, he’s sweet but also not annoyingly sweet. as in yeah he’s nice and polite but has no problem squaring up due to his short temper. kind of blunt sometimes though, and either is dumb or acts dumb if he says something that might hurt someones feelings. like oh.. sorry you feel that way ksjfsdkln

super smart???? has amazing grades and constantly does his work; knows how to multitask and balance his life out (for the most part... at least until he burns himself out). an intellectual™ . not an eboy but i guess u could say a little bit of a gamer,, has tik tok downloaded on his phone, the dad friend i guess

is either in one end of the spectrum or the other when it comes to socializing. most of the time though he finds it exhausting,, talking is hard but once he does start talking it’s like shut up dude no one cares about javascript 

has a small pill problem,, he’s got to be successful somehow right !! also drinks lots of coffee and is a fan of coffee creamer, does not like the strawberry shortcake creamer though because ew. only tea he will drink is matcha green tea, anything else can suck it. 

has also developed some ~anxious~ feelings , why ? idk, light trauma i guess. his pill usage sure doesn’t help though! loser! ... tbh maybe his anxiousness has grown over the years because he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do after school like he has money (that he tries not to use if i’m being honest, would rather use the money he gains from his job which i haven’t decided what should be. leave me alone), and will have a degree, but he’s still just questioning everything?? things have just been weird

sometime during middle school years (idk whats the equivalent of this in spain, shut up) he got into computers and... i’m not proud of this but his first hack was into this girls account that he liked and bro all he wanted to do was see some titties man thats it i promise. that crush did not work out, obvs.

anyways yes he continued down this computer path and made an app during high school!!! it wasn’t successful at all and he eventually deleted it but good for him coding and shit!!! 

would hack into school systems to help out his buds and their grades. yeah they could have just copied off of him but... where is the fun in that lads 

sometime he be just looking up ‘james kinney interviews’ on youtube just to see who this dude was dshjkg poor lad

can speak english and spanish ,, has that lisp thingy spaniards have i hate it but i guess whatever 

kind of messy honestly, can someone clean his desk 

connections

literally anything just hmu i can’t come up with these things tbh

#pulled this out of my ass i literally just made him on the spot im jkshdsg #theflats:intro