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therhythmafterthesummer · 1 year

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Of Apples and Moss Beds (M) ~Felix [ft. Hyunjin]

Pairing: Werewolf!Felix x Werewolf!AFAB.Reader x Werewolf!Hyunjin Themes: Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Angst | Fluff | Strangers to Lovers | Soulmate AU? Word Count: ~15k | AO3 Synopsis: Felix’s crude reality made it so he hardly dwelled on the fact that he was alone. He never would’ve imagined he’d find a loving family of his own, or that he would be capable of imprinting and finding a soulmate, let alone two. [This story is an instalment of my WereRoomies series. you don’t need to read the other instalments to understand this piece]. Warnings (SO MANY): Felix’s POV · few descriptives of the reader such as: has big naturals, is older than Felix, is nonbinary/doesn’t care about gender (use of they/she pronouns, even in the same sentence) · mentions of child abuse · LGBTQ+ themes · it takes a WHILE for the reader to make an appearance oops there’s just a lot of backstory and exposition, y’all know i can’t shut the fuck up · pet names (baby, prince, darling, dear, pup, etc, so many pet names, god…) · polyamory · member x member action (suggestive mostly, and explicit with reader included) · nothing about this piece is straight just like any Felix-centric piece should be honestly/j · graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut).

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Author’s Note: so… i woke up one day and this just… happened. most of it came out of me way too fast, and honestly i’m sure i was either possessed, maniac, or in a very intense moment of hyperfocus. anyway, this piece is a bit different than what i usually do. i really wanted to challenge myself to write a poly relationship into my werewolf au and hyunlix just made sense to me. it was my first time writing such a dynamic–let alone a threesome–with this much detail, so i hope i did okay. regardless, i really like the direction this took, i’m really happy with it, and i hope the amount of member x member stuff doesn’t prevent anyway from enjoying this. as usual, don’t hesitate to let me know what you think💜 [special thanks to my one and only, my soulmate, and best friend for reading this before anyone else and providing her much valued insight]

Smut Warnings: a foot goes on someone’s private parts (MxM) but it’s mild/just teasing and super short and probably mostly harmless to the point where i’m not even sure it counts as a smut warning but i prefer to be safe than sorry · reader is a dom · oral (F&M.Rec) · breast/nipple play (F&M.Rec) · protected penetration [piv] · threesome · degradation (M.Rec. bitch, slut, etc are used) · face slapping (M.Rec) · some praising · snowballing.

Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

Felix had never been much of a believer when it came to imprinting and soulmates. He was never much of a believer of anything, to be honest. There was no time to fill his head with the improbable when he had to spend all his energy trying to survive.

When he was very young, Felix was kicked out of his childhood pack. To this day, he still believed it had all been completely unfair, leaving a pup werewolf completely alone in the world to deal with all that distress. They claimed it was all for the best, that he was throwing off the ecosystem they had built in the pack, that he was being disrespectful.

What did he do? He simply denied their alpha’s advances. Felix wouldn’t know exactly just how fucked up his childhood pack was until he eventually met other wolves, but even at the time his pack’s alpha’s claims that all betas and omegas were his to ‘use’ –yes, he would use exactly the word ‘use’–just sounded wrong to Felix. The man would always say that anyone that denied him would suffer the consequences.

Felix was a pup, a child, and even if he didn’t know how fucked up it all was at the time, he just didn’t want to do it. So he fought back, he denied every single one of his alpha’s advances as swiftly and discreetly as he could, always worming his way out of it.

Eventually, though, the man found out. He realised Felix was defying his authority, and the moment he realised that, he held his power over Felix’s head. ‘If you won’t submit then you’ll have to leave and become a packless bastard’.

The man was smug when he said it, Felix could still remember it as if it happened yesterday. How he was scared out of his mind, fighting every single instinct telling him to submit, but he stood his ground, uncaring of the consequences of his actions. ‘I won’t submit to you. Not now, not ever’.

So his alpha delivered. Him and his goons kicked him out–not before giving him the beating of his life, of course. But the worst part was that Felix’s parents didn’t do anything to stop it. No one did. This man had ingrained his toxic, abusive dynamic of submission into his pack so heavily no one dared say a word.

So Felix was left alone in the world when he was barely even a teen.

The first few weeks were tough. Oftentimes, he would shift into his wolf form and forage whatever he could to sustain himself; he spent so much time as a wolf that he’d sometimes forget he had a human side to him, too. Those moments wouldn’t last long, only a couple of seconds, but it always left him incredibly shaken when he could feel his humanity slipping between his fingers.

After months of roaming and wandering on his own, Felix started to realise why wolves lived in packs. He thought it was all bullshit before, but being a lone wolf without a pack left one in a weird and fragile state of mind. It left one paranoid, volatile, mad, and although he wasn’t quite sure how the mysticism of it worked, he realised he wasn’t quite right in the head at the time.

And then he met Hyunjin.

Felix truly never believed in imprinting and soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was sure Hyunjin was his, or at least, that was how it felt at the time.

It happened in the forest. He had just turned fifteen, he’d spent years out there on his own by this point, and as Felix laid next to a stream, devouring the remnants of his hunt, he felt a presence.

Oddly enough, he hadn’t encountered another wolf this close in years, and the sudden appearance of one made him snarl, made his fur puff up, made him want to appear imposing and commanding as if he wasn’t a measly beta teen-wolf with no pack of his own.

The wolf did recoil a bit, but it didn’t leave, it just looked at Felix with a curious glint in its eyes. And after a few moments of no movement, when Felix’s instinct to fight subsided a bit, his mind cleared slightly.

A quick sniff and he knew immediately. Another werewolf, and an omega at that. And maybe it was that last fact that made Felix relax just the smallest bit; if it came to it, he was sure he could take that omega in a fight and win.

The other werewolf approached him, tentatively, slowly, and for some reason, Felix didn’t move. It wasn’t that he felt scared or intimidated by them, he just… Didn’t feel threatened. So he let them come close. Not too close, though.

They sniffed him, and Felix did the same, getting hit by their scent, a strange mix of apples and pears. It was… Nice. But then the werewolf was getting way too close for his comfort, so Felix growled at them, scaring them into running away.

As soon as they were gone, he wished he hadn’t growled at all. He should’ve snarled or attempted to nip, not full on growl the way he did. Regardless, the werewolf was gone, and Felix was left once again on his own.

At least for a while.

Felix remained in that forest, foolishly hoping to see that wolf again. And it was a few days later, as he laid next to the same stream, at the exact same place he had been before, that he heard the rustle of leaves. This time, though, it wasn’t a wolf that came from between the trees, it was a boy. A lanky boy, probably around his age, seemingly normal, if not for the fact that he smelt like apples and pears.

It was honestly almost pathetic how Felix’s tail started to wag as soon as he saw the boy. If the other asked, he’d blame it on how long he had spent all alone out here.

“Hey…” The boy approached him, slowly, with his hands in the air as if to show Felix that he meant no harm, and somehow, Felix believed it. “I’m Hyunjin. I saw you the other day…”

Felix just looked at him for a moment. When was the last time a person had spoken to him out of their own will? He’d spoken with street vendors and kiosk owners and gym attendants, but that was all transactional. This boy, this Hyunjin, was talking to him, directly, and it made him feel oddly giddy.

So Felix shifted back into his human form. How many days had it been since he stood on his legs? Too many, probably. If the aches he felt were anything to go by.

“I’m… Felix”, his voice cracked a bit. It had been doing that a lot these days. His voice seemed to be constantly dancing between a high and a low pitch, and he simply blamed it on puberty.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I was hoping I’d find you here again”, Hyunjin regarded him with a small smile, and he’d lie if he said it didn’t make his heart skip a beat. “Do you… Need any help?”

“I’m fine”, was he? Was he fine? Felix was used to his way of life, but did that mean he was fine? That was something he didn’t want to discuss with a stranger, though, so he settled for fine.

“You don’t look fine”, Hyunjin looked him up and down, and it made Felix scoff in return.

Sitting cross-legged on the grass, bare as he was, Felix stared at Hyunjin, mustering his most confident tone. “Maybe you should get your eyes checked, then”.

It was Hyunjin’s turn to scoff now. Nevertheless, he walked closer. Felix tensed a bit, not used to having people so close to him, but he let Hyunjin sit on the grass in front of him, keeping his fair distance.

“Your scent smells, like, super distressed. You know that, right?”

Felix felt himself flush at his words. No, he didn’t know that. He was super confident he was one hundred percent fine… Wasn’t he?

“Anyway, this might be a bit forward, and weird, but I got worried the other day when I saw you here. I’d never seen a lone wolf, much less one so young… Before I knew it, I was in this forest again looking for you”.

“How’d you know I was a lone wolf?” Felix asked him, slightly incredulous.

Hyunjin shrugged, and he offered Felix a small smile. “You don’t have any trace of anyone else’s scent. Usually there’s a bit there from friends, family…”

Very quickly, Felix realised Hyunjin was… Nice. He had a way of talking that might’ve passed as rude to some people, and sometimes he was rude, especially because of the tone in his voice, but who wasn’t a bit rude these days?

Felix didn’t speak much that day, he simply listened to whatever Hyunjin had to say. He did have a pack, one he wasn’t particularly fond of. ‘Nothing too crazy, they just don’t like people like me’, he’d told Felix. He wasn’t entirely sure what Hyunjin meant by that, and he was too self-conscious that day to ask, so he filed it for later, either for when he found the courage to ask directly or for when Hyunjin had given him enough context clues for him to understand.

Hyunjin liked to draw, to paint, he was the pure embodiment of an artist, and the more he and Felix met in this spot in the forest, the more Felix got to see that side of him.

They met often, at least thrice a week. Hyunjin would always bring Felix food or clothes or puzzles to keep himself entertained. He eventually started to come with his art supplies, sitting in silence with Felix as he drew or painted something that he’d never let Felix see because he was too embarrassed. ‘It’s not good. I’ll show you when they’re good’.

Felix was sure whatever he did was amazing, but he didn’t push his friend. Because that was what Hyunjin had turned into after a couple of months meeting in the forest. A friend. It helped Felix feel like he belonged somewhere again. Even if it was just as a background character in Hyunjin’s life, he could feel his humanity slowly, but surely, coming back to him.

“Ugh, exams are the worst. I just don’t understand chemistry. What even is a mole anyway?” Hyunjin had been rambling about school a lot today, and Felix simply listened to him, lending him his ears to vent into.

“Wait, now that I think about it…” Hyunjin said after a while, looking away from his sketchbook. “What school are you going to?”

“I’m not going to school”, Felix kept his eyes focused on the Rubik’s cube in his hand, trying to figure out how to build one face of the cube without messing up the other.

“What?”

“I haven’t gone to school in years”, Felix shrugged. “I used to shift and sneak into this public school close to the town hall a few years back, so I did learn a bunch, but I couldn’t do it anymore after I started growing and my wolf form just wouldn’t pass as a dog anymore”.

Felix had told Hyunjin of his past, of everything that happened to him in his childhood pack. He could still remember the horrified look on his face as he told him. And honestly, Felix couldn’t blame him for being shocked and horrified by his story. The more he grew up, the more Felix understood the high levels of fucked up that pack’s structure had.

“Why don’t you go as a human?”

Felix scoffed at that, starting to get frustrated with the cube in his hand. “I tried. They require all that legal guardian shit. As you can imagine, my unfortunate lack of parents complicates that a bit”.

Hyunjin went quiet for a while, letting Felix fumble with the puzzle. Eventually, Felix heard the characteristic sound of pencil on paper, so he figured Hyunjin had gone back to sketching, with no intent on continuing the subject. That was, until…

“Want me to ask my parents?”

The Rubik’s cube fell on Felix’s lap.

“…What?”

“My parents”, Hyunjin repeated. “They can pose as your legal guardians. It wouldn’t be the first time a werewolf forges documents”, he added with a snort. Almost every single document a werewolf provided to human authorities was forged these days, so it wasn’t a particularly shocking statement.

However, what did shock Felix was Hyunjin’s proposal… Going back to school. Socialising with humans again after so long… Was he prepared for that? He wanted to learn, to pretend he had a normal life, maybe even… Make more friends? He’d never allowed himself to think about that too much, about going back to participate in the world outside of his little bubble in this forest.

“Would they even agree?” Felix’s voice was barely a whisper. He picked the cube back up from his lap and started to twist the faces again, trying to distract himself. “I don’t want them to… Know”.

Felix didn’t say it, but he was sure Hyunjin would understand. I don’t want them to know I’m a lone wolf. A packless failure.

“I’ll think of something”, Hyunjin mumbled, and if there was someone Felix trusted in this world to charm anyone into doing something, it was Hyunjin.

So that was how Felix managed to integrate into human society again. They both did some research, on public schools he could go to that’d take in someone so far behind, on possible scholarships he could apply to, on places to find school supplies… And as soon as they had all the necessary documentation, it was up to Hyunjin to get his parents to sign them.

It was hard to get used to at first. Felix got overwhelmed by the noise and the amount of people at school often, but he managed. In a couple of months he had gone from being a nobody, a lone wolf secluded to the woods, to being just some guy again, and only then did he realise how good it felt. To be seen, to be taken into account… And it was all thanks to Hyunjin.

During the day, Felix would go to school. In the afternoon, he started to volunteer at a soup kitchen in the area, helping feed those in need. The lovely lady that ran the place seemed to really like him, and she always appreciated the extra hands. ‘You’re so strong! Youth really does wonders for you, doesn’t it?’ She’d say often, and Felix simply chuckled in response, not really wanting to reveal that his strength had nothing to do with youth and all to do with his supernatural condition.

In return for his help she’d feed him, and eventually, Felix asked her to teach him how to cook. He found the act of cooking to come natural to him, he wasn’t sure if it had to do with his enhanced senses, but people would often compliment him on his food, and it made him feel proud. A feeling he hadn’t associated with himself in a long, long time–not to say never ever.

Felix still slept in the forest every night. He’d shift and curl into a fluffy ball of fur to keep himself warm. Hyunjin often offered him his home, or at least, his room, but Felix always declined. He didn’t want to be an inconvenience, and he was sure that Hyunjin’s parents wouldn’t appreciate him being there at all.

Felix only met the couple a few times, but that was more than enough for him to know that, even if he was grateful for their help, he simply didn’t like them. Just like Hyunjin didn’t, either. They were… Conservative. Because that was a thing, conservative werewolves.

‘They can’t accept the fact that I’m a male omega. Sometimes, I’m pretty sure they pretend like I’m not. That I’m a beta or something. And let’s not even talk about the fact that I like boys, too. They don’t know, know, but I’m sure they have noticed… They love to ignore that, too’, Hyunjin confessed to Felix after the first time he met them, after he couldn’t conceal the fact that he just hadn’t felt comfortable with the exchange, and Hyunjin’s words simply confirmed that first impression Felix had had of them.

Males were supposed to be alphas or betas, females were supposed to be betas or omegas, and other genders simply didn’t exist for them. Textbook homophobes, to put it simply. In this day and age…

Felix knew, of course. Hyunjin didn’t hide his sexuality not even once since they met, and Felix was always grateful for that, because it helped him come to terms with his own. People were people, love was love, and no gender or designation would get in the way of that, that was their philosophy. Call it being bi, or pan, or fluid, or however you want. All Felix knew was that once he left the lone wolf in the forest, he was just full of love, ready to share it with the world, with whoever was consensually willing to receive it.

By the time Felix had turned eighteen, the line of his friendship with Hyunjin had blurred so much he wasn’t sure he could call him a friend anymore.

What he had with Hyunjin was much, much more than just friendship. Felix would often find himself holding his hand, or hugging him, or simply touching him, all without really thinking much about it.

Hyunjin did it, too. And although neither said anything, they both knew.

Eventually, their lingering touches started to turn much less platonic, less innocent. They turned into heated makeout sessions, into groping and desperately rutting and grunting against each other, into Hyunjin asking Felix to help him out during his heats as well… It felt natural, just like breathing, to be with one another. They were friends and lovers and soulmates and everything in between, and it was right how it was supposed to be.

Especially because, just like Felix, Hyunjin also believed that love was to be shared, to be enjoyed, so their open arrangement was perfectly designed for them. Felix wasn’t a jealous man, on the contrary, he was happy whenever Hyunjin was, so as long as they kept things clear and consensual and safe nothing else mattered.

At the end of the day, they’d always have each other, and possibly someone else–or simply other people, plural–to share their love with. Although, they’d usually do these things separately, considering Hyunjin’s tastes sometimes were what Felix could simply describe as questionable at best… He had fallen for Felix, after all.

Felix found himself a job in a local café. His very first real job. That was the place that finally gave him a second chance at finding a family, that was where he met Chris.

Chris worked at the café as a partimer, seeking some extra income to pay for his studies while he searched for a job in his field. Felix knew Chris was a werewolf as soon as he saw him, even before he got close enough to get a whiff of his scent.

The man just exuded alpha energy, and the moment he spotted Felix for the first time his eyes went wide with surprise, but he still gave him the widest smile right after, a genuine smile that made his eyes disappear into crescents and dimples to appear on his cheeks. Honestly, Felix wasn’t much of trusting alphas at first glance due to his past trauma, but Chris’ entire demeanour was way too welcoming for him to not trust him almost immediately.

They got acquainted pretty fast, maybe too fast. It was just too easy to fall into Chris’ antics, he was goofy and funny and kind and a bit fucked up in the head, but he was a good guy all in all.

A few months of knowing Chris were enough for Felix to learn he led his own pack. He’d seen a couple of his pack members drop by the café, and they all seemed to be just as nice as Chris, which honestly didn’t surprise him. ‘It’s small, only four of us so far, but it’s great, honestly. Don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am right now with them’, Chris had told Felix once, and he sounded truly proud of it.

“What about your pack?” Chris asked one day while he cleaned the coffee machine. Closing time was nearing, and there were hardly any customers still within the place, so these were usually the times when they spoke anything related to their lycanthropy. “You never talk about them”.

“That’s because I don’t have one”, Felix replied simply, rearranging the display shelf for what seemed like the tenth time that day.

“You don’t have one?!”

Felix shrugged. “I have Hyunjin”.

“Oh, but that’s something. Well, someone…”

Felix had told Chris about Hyunjin, not in detail, but he knew. It was impossible not to know when his scent was always lingering on Felix’s clothes.

“Yeah, but he’s in a pack of his own”, Hyunjin hadn’t found the courage to defect yet, and Felix honestly couldn’t blame him. He’d been trapped in this vicious circle of guilt with his parents that made it really difficult for him to detach himself from them, even when staying with them only made him hurt and get more frustrated as time passed.

Chris’ brows furrowed, clearly confused. “So… If he’s in a pack, but you have no pack… Where are you staying?”

“Oh, I sleep in the woods”.

“You do what?!” Chris’ question came out a bit louder than he had intended for sure, a couple of customers looked back at him with clear confusion on their faces, and Chris simply offered them a strained smile and an apologetic bow.

“I’ve been sleeping in the forest since I was a pup… I shift, find a decent moss bed, curl up in a nice little ball, and fall off to sleep”, Felix offered with a smile on his face. Over the years, he had honestly started to enjoy it. Of course it wasn’t ideal, of course he would’ve preferred to have a warm bed and a roof over his head, but he’d gotten so used to it, it kind of made him feel like he was balancing his human-ness and his wolf-ness pretty well.

Chris’ face went completely serious, with his hand still holding a rag around the steam wand of the coffee machine, completely motionless. After a few moments of shared silence, he spoke again. “Wanna join my pack?”

Felix choked on his spit, Chris’ proposition catching him completely off-guard. “…What?!”

“Wanna. Join. My. Pack”, Chris repeated, slowly stressing each word.

“I heard you, okay. Jeez… I’m… Not sure I’m suited for the pack life”, Felix looked away from Chris then, focusing on the very interesting and very stale pastry sitting on the display shelf.

Still, he could feel Chris’ searing gaze on his side profile, and when Felix got enough courage to look back at him, he saw Chris looking at him, deep in thought.

Returning his focus to the coffee machine, Chris finally looked away, but he kept talking. “Did I ever tell you why I wanted to lead a pack of my own?”

“No…”

“I wanted to… To build a safe space. For those of us that were tired of being judged or mistreated. There was a lot of that in my childhood pack, Changbin and I were sick of it. Jisung, too–you remember Jisung, right?” Felix just nodded, and Chris continued. “Minho didn’t have a pack, either. But his case was very… Peculiar. He can tell you himself if you do choose to join us. Lix, you… Are nice. And although I don’t know what happened to you, I’m sure it was a lot for you to have been living in the forest since you were so young. So… Think about it”.

And Felix did think about it.

He could barely get sleep that night just thinking about it. About the prospect of having a pack again. Chris had shown him many times that he was just a different breed of alpha altogether, whether he knew it or not, so Felix found himself genuinely considering it. But there was something he needed to do before he made that decision.

“Chris’ pack? He offered that?” Hyunjin’s eyes were wide, and his mouth fell slightly open in surprise.

“Yes. But…” Felix stretched his hand over the table, past his stack of freshly made waffles, finding Hyunjin’s and holding it tightly in his. “I want you to come with me”.

Hyunjin blinked, and suddenly averted his gaze, fixing it on their joined hands. “Lix, angel, you know I can’t…”

“Love, listen to me”, Felix squeezed his hand, trying to get Hyunjin’s attention back to his eyes. “You can. Jinnie, baby, they’re sucking the life out of you in there. You don’t owe them anything”.

Hyunjin’s eyes flickered between Felix’s, looking at his face intently. Until he eventually squeezed his hand and heaved a sigh again. “Do you even know if Chris would take me? He asked you to join, not me. He doesn’t even know me. I don’t know him”.

“I’ll ask”, Felix reassured him, reaching over the table with his free hand to tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear–he had been growing it these days, and Felix would lie if he said it didn’t make his heart flutter. “If you tell me you’ll consider it, I’ll ask, baby”.

Hyunjin simply nodded, bringing Felix’s hand to his lips so he could place a kiss on the back of it.

After much consideration, Hyunjin gave Felix the goahead. He wanted to defect, he wanted to detach himself from his parents as much as he could, and most importantly, he wanted to be able to be himself, openly. So, that afternoon, during his shift at work, Felix went to Chris to ask him about it.

“Would you consider taking Hyunjin in, too?” Felix asked him as soon as Chris came in through the door and stood behind the counter.

“Wow, what happened to ‘good afternoon’? What happened to ‘hello’?” Chris chuckled, washing his hands in the sink. “I’ll have to meet him first, though. But, if he’s anything like you, I’m sure it’ll be fine”.

“We… Don’t have much, you know that, right? I mean, I sleep in the woods for a reason. It’s cheap”.

“You mean it’s free?” Chris snorted, but he gave Felix a genuine smile after. “We’ll manage. That’s why we live in packs, don’t we? To help each other out”.

Felix stared at Chris for a few long moments.

All of a sudden he felt a bit… Overwhelmed, to put it simply. He didn’t know what came over him, or why Chris’ words affected him like they did, but, after a few more moments of silence, he took a hold of Chris’ apron, looking down to the floor. “Chris, can I… Can I hug you?”

Felix had barely finished his question when Chris was already pulling him into his arms, cradling the back of his head and patting his back. Something snapped in Felix at that moment, he started to tremble, and he just couldn’t hold in the tears that had started to well in his eyes.

Chris didn’t say anything, he just hugged Felix tightly, and dear heavens if this man’s hugs weren’t the warmest and most comforting hugs Felix had ever felt. He knew it in his heart then, that he had made the right decision. That this was how having a Pack Alpha was supposed to feel like. Comfort, protection, warmth. Not whatever the fuck was happening in his childhood pack, not whatever the fuck was happening in Hyunjin’s pack, either.

The first night at Chris’ den was… Interesting. At the time, Chris was rooming with Changbin, and they had decided for Felix to spend the first nights here with them, or at least until Chris met Hyunjin and let him join the pack.

“I’ll take the sofa”, Chris told Felix as soon as they entered his flat.

“Nah, don’t worry, I’ll take it”, Changbin shouted from the kitchen, where he had been cooking dinner before Chris and Felix came in.

“No way. I’m not letting either of you take the sofa”, Felix intercepted immediately. “I’ve been sleeping on the ground for years, don’t worry about me, seriously. A sofa is a luxury at this point”.

Felix was used to saying these things out loud without thinking much about them, so he decided to ignore the apologetic look on Changbin’s face when he said that.

That night, while laying on the sofa, Felix did nothing but toss and turn.

The sofa was great. Plush, comfortable, but he felt incredibly awkward. After one too many turns he finally decided to shift into his wolf form, curling in on himself on the sofa, and then he truly felt comfortable. It wasn’t that much different from a moss bed; the biggest upside was the fact that it was dry and warm here, so truly, for Felix, this was like a five star hotel at this point.

He’d no longer have to store his few belongings in gym lockers, or use gym showers, he’d no longer have to be aware of every single sound around him in case a hunter decided to come around the corner, or in case it started to rain, or in case one of the wild cats living in the area wanted to start a fight. As he drifted off to sleep, Felix truly, truly felt incredibly lucky.

Even the next day, when Felix woke up to the sight of Changbin’s smiling, swollen face, looking fondly at him still curled up on the sofa, he felt at ease, his wagging tail more than proof of that.

Now, getting Hyunjin to meet Chris, and for Chris and the other pack members to accept him was easy. Felix had no doubts in his mind that Chris and the others would like Hyunjin enough to let him join the pack as well. What was difficult was getting Hyunjin to defect.

He started gradually taking things out of his house. Important stuff, sentimental stuff, documents, anything of value. Hyunjin passed them all to Felix for Felix to keep them safe at the den. The idea was for every material thing he wanted to keep to be taken out before he spoke with his parents–if he spoke with his parents at all.

Hyunjin wasn’t sure yet… If he wanted to just disappear or if he wanted to confront them. He was sure they wouldn’t just let him leave, they’d try to convince him to stay with their impeccable emotional manipulation tactics, so he was leaning more towards the idea of leaving quietly.

All his plans went to shit when they saw him taking out the last bag of his belongings. Or at least, that was what he told Felix when he arrived a crying mess at the den.

The sight of Hyunjin crying his eyes out, the distress in his scent, it pulled at Felix’s heartstrings unpleasantly. He hated seeing him like this, he wished he could make it all better, make him smile again that charming smile of his. As soon as he saw him, Felix pulled Hyunjin into his arms, and Hyunjin started crying harder against his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably as the door to Chris’ flat closed behind him.

“What happened?!” Jisung asked as soon as he noticed Hyunjin’s state.

Hyunjin mumbled unintelligible nonsense against Felix’s shoulder, and Felix couldn’t help but bring a hand to his hair, trying to soothe him. “Shh, baby. It’s okay. Take your time…”

By the time Hyunjin had stopped crying the three of them sat on Chris’ sofa. Hyunjin gulped down the glass of water in his hand, and proceeded to blow his nose on a napkin Jisung had brought him.

“You told them that? Seriously?” Jisung softly caressed Hyunjin’s back, looking almost incredulous. “ ‘Your son is a fruity omega, deal with it’ has got to be the best coming out phrase of all time, honestly. You’re so badass”.

Hyunjin chuckled, blowing his nose again. “I was so angry when I said it. They were so angry when I said it. They started calling me names, saying I was an ungrateful bastard… And I just… Told them to fuck right off and left before they could even try to guilt trip me into staying”.

Felix brought a hand to Hyunjin’s chin, tilting his face towards him, offering him a smile. “You did it, baby. You’re free. We’re free”.

A small smile made its way onto Hyunjin’s lips as he looked back at Felix, his eyes were still a bit bleary and red, but they looked so, so full of hope, Felix couldn’t help but lean in and press a brief peck on his lips.

Jisung whined next to them, and when Felix turned to look at him he had a pout on his lips. “No kiss for me?”

“My God, Jisung. Not everything is about you”, Hyunjin sighed, sounding more like his usual self. He turned anyway, gripping Jisung by the cheeks with one hand and giving him a quick peck. An entirely platonic exchange, not uncommon between omegas, to be honest. “There. Happy?”

“Very!” Jisung was beaming, and it made Felix chuckle. “Welcome home”, he added, with a splitting smile on his face, pulling both Hyunjin and Felix into a hug.

Everything was smooth sailing from there. As smooth sailing as living in a pack of several traumatised werewolves can be.

Throughout the years, Felix managed to finish his basic studies, he was no longer illiterate in the eyes of the human government, and he had found himself with a career goal. He wanted to be a chef. Preferably a pastry chef. Cooking was still, to this day, one of his biggest escapes. At first it was only regular food, then he started trying more complicated dishes, and eventually he found out how challenging baking could be.

His packmates were often the test subjects for every meal he cooked, especially Hyunjin, of course, who was there with him every step of the way, always supportive, always ready to give Felix an honest review of whichever concoction he had put together.

More people joined Chris’ pack, Seungmin, Jeongin… And eventually, by the time Felix was well into his twenties, came the girls. Or at least, some girls.

Chris’ current girlfriend came first, a human who took the place of Pack Mum before Chris even got the balls to confess his feelings for her… Then came Changbin’s girlfriend, an omega who also defected from her abusive pack and seeked comfort in the only other werewolf she knew. And of course, Minho’s best friend and now girlfriend, who had been coming to the den since Minho joined the pack. Felix liked to call her their honorary pack member, since she really didn’t live here, but she came and stayed over so often she was already like one of their own.

Felix honestly would’ve never imagined his family would get so big. Because that was what this pack had become to him, the family he never truly had. He knew that he wanted to share his love, and here, with these people, he was able to share it more than ever–at least, his platonic love.

When it came to romance, it always went back to Hyunjin. Felix had dated a handful of people throughout the years. Humans, mostly–not to say exclusively. But things usually fell through when they simply couldn’t understand his relationship with Hyunjin. They always pretended they were okay with being in an open relationship, the reality was, they simply weren’t. So Felix often found himself breaking things off with people.

Hyunjin was a bit more lucky, he had a couple of serious relationships that actually lasted a fair amount of time. But ultimately, things would also fall through. Not because of his relationship with Felix, but simply because people change, their needs change, their wants change… And Hyunjin was one hundred percent sure of what he wanted, so as soon as any hesitancy came from the other party, ties were cut off.

Felix truly, truly never ever believed in imprinting and soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was sure he now had two.

It simply happened one day, while going on a morning run with Hyunjin.

Every other weekend, very early in the morning, Felix and Hyunjin would go to the forest, to the same one Felix used to live in, to where they met for the first time. Felix found comfort in the place, the den was his home, but these woods were the place in which he was reborn, so he enjoyed coming here to connect with that part of himself every once in a while.

Hyunjin came just to spend some time with him, Felix knew it. He wasn’t overly fond of waking up early in the morning, but he never once complained. He understood how much it meant to Felix.

And in that place, was where they met you, too.

As Felix and Hyunjin drank from the clear stream, their ears perked up at the sudden rustle of leaves behind them. Slowly, another wolf came from between the trees, curiously eyeing them both.

Felix felt almost exactly the same way he did when he met Hyunjin for the first time, minus the excessive amounts of trauma he was dealing with back then.

They didn’t make any attempts to run or showed any hostility, since the wolf wasn’t showing any hostility, either. Very quickly they were enveloped by the scent of a werewolf, an alpha, just as the wolf came close to sniff them.

The wolf looked… Intrigued, more than anything. Their dark fur flowed with the gentle breeze passing by, and if Felix thought they were beautiful as a wolf, he wondered how they would look like as a human.

Hyunjin seemed to be in the same state Felix was, entranced, but before they knew it, the wolf took off into the woods again, gone out of their sight.

“So, uhm… I didn’t imagine that, right?” Hyunjin said a while later, as soon as he shifted back into his human form and tugged his jeans up his legs. “Who was that?”

“Dunno. You certainly didn’t imagine it”, Felix slid his plaid shirt on, slowly doing each button. “It felt kinda like…”

“Like when we met”, Hyunjin finished, slipping his shoes on. “Without the ‘growling at me and scaring me to death’ part”.

Felix chuckled, finishing with his clothes.“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“Never, sweetheart”, Hyunjin winked at him, slinging an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. “You’ll have to be making up for it for the rest of your life!”

“You’re so dramatic sometimes…”

That night, though, Felix could only think about the encounter. He wondered how he could find that wolf again, Hyunjin had told him earlier to simply let things flow, just like he did when he met Felix for the first time. If it was meant to be, you’d meet again.

And you did meet again, although not exactly in the way Felix had hoped for.

Felix loved his job, he loved baking, and decorating cakes, and working at this bakery specifically. It was fun, especially on days like these, with orders like these. A basic marbled cake, frosted with white and green buttercream, with the words ‘congrats on the sex’ written on it.

He wasn’t usually the one giving the customers their orders, but they were a bit understaffed today, so he brought it out as soon as he was called for it. Thankfully, it was quite slow at this time, so there was only one person waiting by the counter.

Felix called for the customer in the receipt anyway, and that same person perked up, looking at him. As soon as your eyes landed on his, he felt immediate familiarity, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint why.

“So, your cake’s ready. Please check and make sure it’s all to your liking”, Felix fell into his customer service persona anyway, it was hard not to, he practically spoke in autopilot at this point whenever he was behind the counter.

“Looks good”, you mumbled once you took a brief look at the cake. “How much do I owe you?”

“Well, says here you paid half upfront, so here’s the remaining amount”, Felix signalled to the register, and you started to take cash out of your bag.

What an odd interaction. He felt like there was something on the tip of his tongue the entire time, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was missing something.

“Here you go”, you handed him the money, and Felix pressed buttons on the register, getting it to open and giving you the necessary change once he had deposited the bills inside.

You took the box and turned around to leave. Felix’s brows furrowed, confused, but he didn’t say anything.

However, you turned back around, so fast Felix almost jumped on the spot when you placed the cake back down on the counter. “Were you in the forest the other day?”

Felix was completely caught off guard, but he recognised you then. The alpha from the forest. “That was you?” He lowered his voice, making sure the other lingering customers didn’t eavesdrop the conversation.

“Yes! I’ve been… Uh… This is gonna sound super weird, I’m sorry, but I’ve been looking for you, although I’m not really sure why exactly”, your brows furrowed, and Felix almost wanted to reach over the counter and smooth it out with his thumb.

“Me, too. Well, us, too”, a couple of customers came into the store, and Felix offered them friendly smiles and a quick greeting before turning his eyes back to you. Taking a napkin from the holder on the counter and a pen, he scribbled his phone number quickly, signing it with his name.

“Text me… If you want”, he added once he handed you the paper.

You looked at the napkin in your hand, then carefully folded it and placed it in your back pocket, giving him a “sure thing, Felix” with a smile on your face as you took your cake. “Have a nice day!”

Work couldn’t go any slower after that encounter…

“A female alpha?” Hyunjin asked as soon as Felix started telling him the story, when Felix had finally made it home and slid inside the bathtub to join him.

“So it seems. Well, they didn’t really tell me their gender or anything, but they were certainly female presenting… A lot of… Cleavage and stuff”, Felix had been too confused earlier to focus too much on it, but now that his mind was a bit clearer, he was remembering… Things.

“What are the odds… An alpha for a beta and an omega”, Hyunjin leaned back on his end of the tub, extending one of his legs a bit, and immediately, Felix felt the pressure of the ball of Hyunjin’s foot on his length.

Quirking a brow, he looked at Hyunjin with a smirk on his lips.

“Are you trying to rile me up, my sweet prince? Trying to distract me with your low tactics?” Felix chuckled from where he was leaning on his end of the tub, taking a hold of Hyunjin’s heel and pulling him further against him.

“Question is, when am I not, my love?” Hyunjin gave him a smug smile, and it was just as he was about to say something again that Felix’s phone rumbled from where he had left it on the toilet lid. He looked at Hyunjin, and Hyunjin looked right back at him. Before Felix could say anything, Hyunjin was already stretching his arm, taking the phone, and looking at the notification.

“It’s them”, Hyunjin urged, handing Felix the phone to read the message.

> Unknown Number: hey > it’s me, from the bakery > the ‘congrats on the sex’ cake? > anyway > would you like to go for coffee sometime?

“They could’ve just said ‘the alpha from the forest’, to be honest”, Hyunjin chuckled, still amused by the cake story.

“What should I tell them?” Felix was suddenly nervous. Why was he nervous? He’d done this before. Hell, he wasn’t even the one asking the other out… Was this even a date?

“Say yes! Give them a date and a time”, Hyunjin urged, nudging him with his foot.

“Are you coming, though?”

“I think you should meet them first”, Hyunjin replied confidently. “I’m intrigued, but you already met them, and you know we usually don’t… Like the same type of people. I really think you should meet them first. See if they are nice, and if they are and you want something with them, see if they’re comfortable with… You know. Us”.

So Felix replied then, a short ‘brunch tomorrow. 11am?’ to which you gave him a positive answer and the name of a café he had been to before, so he knew where to go. All details which he gave Hyunjin immediately.

“That’s great, baby!” He nudged Felix with his foot again, making the other smile. “Now, come here. I want you to absolutely destroy me”.

Felix couldn’t help but chuckle. “Needy, are we?” But he moved anyway, leaning forward to kiss Hyunjin properly.

The next day, while Felix anxiously bounced his leg as he sat at one of the tables in the café, he felt oddly nervous. He reasoned it was because you were a werewolf. Felix had truly only dated humans before, the only werewolf he’d ever been with was Hyunjin–he did shoot his shot at Changbin once when he started to live at the den, but to this day he was sure Changbin hadn’t even registered it, so he let it go.

“Hey”, you regarded Felix with a smile as soon as you saw him, taking a seat in front of him. God, Felix hadn’t realised yet, but you smelt like the forest. Like pine and the moss beds he used to sleep on, and it almost knocked the air right out of his lungs.

“So”, Felix started once you both had procured your respective coffees and sandwiches. “The woods, huh? Never seen you around before”.

“You go there often? Never seen you around, either”, you replied between bites of your food, and Felix gave you a nod in responde, not wanting to discuss why he went to the woods in the first place. “I go there often, too. My sisters like to hangout around the place. I was looking for one of them when I saw you guys”.

“You got sisters? Never seen any other werewolf there that wasn’t Hyunjin, now you…”

“Hyunjin? That’s the other wolf you were with?” Felix just nodded again, and you continued. “Well, my sisters aren’t werewolves, that’s why. I’m, uh… My pack is not exactly… Conventional”.

“Oh?” Felix couldn’t help but quirk a brow. “I’m intrigued”.

You gave him a sheepish smile, taking a sip of your coffee right after. “Werecats, werejackals, werebats… It’s a very odd pack, we’re all a bit different. I’m the only werewolf in it, actually”.

Felix’s jaw went slack, completely in shock. “…Come again?”

“Uh, well, there are two werecats, one werejackal, two werebats, and we might be integrating a vampire soon, actually. Not the same thing as a werebat, by the way”.

Felix just blinked, and you gave him an almost shy smile. “Damn, it’s like you’re collecting otherworldlies”, Felix chuckled, dragging his fingers through his hair and leaning back on his chair.

“Yeah, well… We got fed up and decided to stick together”, you offered simply.

“All girls?”

“Nah. Some of us, like me, don’t care about gender at all. Some girls, some boys, some non-conforming… You know…” You eyed him intently, almost as if you were trying to test his stance on the matter, and it had him chuckling.

“Oh, I know”, he replied, with a genuine smile on his face.

You seemed satisfied with his answer, and that, for some reason, made him feel giddy.

That was when you truly started to open up. You were just a bit older than him, you worked at your late parents’ antique and oddities shop, it had been left in your care once they passed away, and your den was located right above it. ‘Got the entire building for ourselves! I’m honestly glad my parents were careful enough to leave me everything they had to their name. I don’t know where I’d be if they hadn’t…’

You were very moralistic, and blunt, and honestly? Really hot. Felix was listening intently to everything you were telling him, he really was. But he could also multitask, so admiring your attributes while he listened was going incredibly well for him.

“What about you, though?” You asked eventually, taking a sip of your now cold coffee.

Felix shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m a baker, as you probably inferred. I have a mostly werewolf pack, but we’ve got a few humans as well”.

“Your alpha allows humans in their den?” You asked, a bit incredulous, and Felix really laughed out loud at the thought of Chris not allowing humans at his den, all things considered.

“He does. Actually, my pack’s alpha is head over heels for his human girlfriend. Any moment now they’re gonna mate and or get married, I’m sure”.

“And you? Hyunjin?” Ah, there it was. It was time to speak about That.

“Hyunjin’s my mate”, Felix replied honestly, confidently looking you in the eyes. “And just to clarify, I don’t mean a mate as a friend. He’s my mate mate. We’ve been mates for years. But… We’re in an open relationship”.

“Oh?” You leaned back in your seat, and the curious glint in your eyes gave him some hope. “Never heard of polyamorous mates before. Does it really work for you guys?”

“It does. We’re both just… Two guys who love each other, and want to share our love with other people, too”, and they were. They truly, truly were, and Felix believed this one hundred percent. “It’s all about trust and consent and all that, you know?”

“Oh, I know…” Your fingers tapped the table.

You looked at Felix for a moment, the air was suddenly heavy between you two, thick with something intense, alluring, and Felix could feel the hairs at his nape stand on end when you leaned on the table, resting your elbows on it. “So… If I take you home right now, and fuck your brains out, your mate won’t mind?”

Blunt. Forward. Very much an alpha, you were.

“My mate was the one who urged me to text you back last night”, a smirk made its way onto his lips, and he leaned forward on the table as well, matching your stance. “What about you, though? You’re an alpha. Wouldn’t it bother you? To know I’m also someone else’s? To share?”

“I’m not a possessive alpha. Not like that at least”, you licked your lips, and Felix’s eyes followed the movement like a hawk. “Like you said… It’s all about consent, and trust, and all that”.

“Exactly…”

You stared at him, and Felix stared right back. In your eyes, all dark and clouded with need, he could see it all. In your scent, he could smell it all. Arousal, lust, want… It was honestly almost comical how fast the both of you stood up from your chairs. The bills had been paid for already, so you simply slung your bag over your shoulder and took Felix’s hand, tugging him out of the café.

“My place is close by”, you told him simply, and he followed you without hesitation.

“Isn’t it dangerous for you to show me where you live on a first date?” Felix teased you as soon as you both made it to your building’s entrance–it was more a door than an entrance, but he figured the term still worked.

“I don’t know why, but my instincts tell me I can trust you, Lee Felix”, you said as you started to climb the stairs, and Felix followed right behind you, not even pretending like he wasn’t staring at your ass the entire time. “But anyway, what would you do to me? I could probably snap you in half”, you grinned at him as soon as you made it to your door, hastily getting your keys from your bag and unlocking it.

“You wouldn’t dare! Who’d take care of my Hyunjin if I’m gone?” Felix bit back, stepping into your home.

As soon as the door closed behind him, you pushed Felix against it, pressing your whole body against his own, and that look in your eyes truly reminded him that you were an alpha, that you were very much capable of snapping him in half, and that he’d gladly let you fuck him silly at any time of day.

“Well, if he wants, I can take care of him no problem. I honestly haven’t been able to stop thinking about his apple and pear scent”, you caged him against that door, with your hands at either side of him. “But then again, I also haven’t been able to stop thinking about yours”.

Before Felix could even attempt to respond, your lips were on his. Warm, slightly chapped from the cold air outside, but still moist with your saliva, and his entire body came alight. You tasted like coffee and bread and like the sweetest nectar he’d ever drunk.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as your tongue made its way inside his mouth, devouring him, and he simply took it, pushing his tongue against yours and holding your waist tightly. Felix wasn’t sure if it was the influence of your alpha scent, if it was the fact that you were a werewolf, or the fact that you’d met in the forest, right where he had met Hyunjin, his forever mate, making his brain jump to conclusions, but truly, Felix had only ever felt this ravenous with him before this moment.

“Are you clean of anything?” You asked as soon as your lips disconnected, starting a trail of kisses all the way from his mouth to his neck, licking and sucking on his pulse point, making him whine.

“Yes”, Felix replied simply, slightly breathless, because it was the truth. He got checked regularly, as did Hyunjin.

“Good. Me too”, with that, you dropped to your knees, swiftly undoing his belt, popping open the button of his jeans and opening his zipper. God, he was so hard already, how had he gotten this worked up just by a few minutes of kissing?

It was really hard for him to care at all as you mouthed his length over his underwear. “Let me know if you want to stop at some point, okay? You say stop and I’ll stop. Promise”.

Felix nodded, his eyes fixed on yours as you palmed him. You squeezed him over the fabric, and he was starting to lose it, truly. “Say it, Felix. Say you understand”.

“I–I understand”, saliva had pooled in his mouth, so he swallowed, getting lost in your sinful stare. Felix was usually the one taking the lead, but right now, there was nothing he wanted more than to let you do with him as you pleased, and by that look in your eyes, he was almost certain that was what you wanted, too.

“That’s it. What a good boy”, you smiled at him, a genuine smile that made your eyes disappear, a complete contrast to the way you pulled his underwear down, letting his cock spring free from its confinements.

As soon as you took his length into your warm, wet mouth, he just couldn’t help himself, the moan that left his lips was almost pathetic to his ears, but he didn’t care. Felix let his head fall against the door, lost in the feeling of your warmth around him, on the obscene slurping sounds filling his ears, on the smell of the forest surrounding him completely, making him tremble where he stood.

When was the last time he had had sex with a stranger? But then again, somehow, you didn’t feel like a total stranger, you felt familiar, almost as if he had known you for a long, long time.

“So fucking good with your mouth–Fuck!” The feeling of your throat around him was too much, you were working him up way too quickly, he had to focus really hard to hold it all in. Maybe it was the mix of your entire being–your scent, your values, your tits that looked absolutely amazing in that low top–or maybe it was the new experience that had him so heated, but he’d usually be able to go longer than this, he had stamina goddamn it.

You pulled away from his cock with a lewd pop, replacing your mouth with your hand, pumping him fervently. Sweet, sweet torture… “It’s okay, puppy. You can come. I’m not done with you, though. You can come and then I’ll work you up all over again, hm?”

Felix nodded, frantic, his eyes jumping from your hand working his cock to your face, to your eyes staring right into him. As soon as you took him back into your mouth he was gone. “Shit, fuck… You’re seriously… I’m gonna come, fuck…”

You bobbed your head once, twice, thrice, and then his mind went blank. An assortment of swears and grunts and moans flew past his lips as he shot his load down your throat, and you kept blowing him through all of it, even when he stopped coming, bringing him to the brink of oversensitivity.

“Shit, wait, too much…” He whined, writhing against the door. For a moment, he thought you wouldn’t stop, he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t.

But thankfully–or regretfully, he couldn’t decide…–you took pity on him, finally letting him fall from your mouth and staring up at him with a satisfied smile on your face as you looked at him taking deep breaths. When you stood on your feet and kissed him again, Felix really started to feel lightheaded, drunk on your scent, on his own taste on your tongue.

“You okay?” You asked, and it seemed like you genuinely cared, which honestly made his heart flutter.

“More than okay, holy shit”, Felix replied between kisses, making you chuckle. You instructed him to take his t-shirt, his shoes, his jeans and underwear off, and he did it without hesitation.

“Come here, pup”, you tugged him away from the door, walking a few strides and pushing him to sit on the sofa, straddling him as soon as he was seated.

His hands came to rest on the curve of your ass, and before his hazy mind could register the movement, you had already tugged your shirt and your bra away from your body. His mouth watered at the sight of your breasts falling into their natural place, and right there, sitting on top of him, you truly, truly looked like a goddess.

“Felix”, your hand came to his nape, caressing his skin softly. “You seem to be very focused on my chest. Just like you were yesterday”, shit, he had been caught, but honestly, he couldn’t find it in him to care at all.

“How could I not? Shit, look at these”, he moved his hands to cup your tits, squeezing them gently. You allowed him to do it for a few moments, but then you took a hold of his hands, placing them on your ribs, right below your breasts.

“Wanna suck on them, pup?” You kept his hands pressed to your skin, and he immediately nodded, sucking you eagerly when you pulled his face to your breasts.

He didn’t know how long he spent with his mouth attached to your chest while you rolled your hips to get some friction from his already hardening length. All he knew was that when you came from the attention he was giving to your tits, from the grind of your still clothed core against him, the sound of your moans and your soft praises had him almost coming again.

That afternoon, after you took him from that sofa to your room, after you slid a condom on his cock and rode him until he couldn’t take it anymore, Felix left your flat all levels of fucked out of his mind, with a promise of another date, and an almost bashful ‘you think Hyunjin would like to meet me?’

As soon as he was back home, he made his way to his bedroom, finding Hyunjin propped on the headboard of the bed with a sketchbook and a pencil in his hands.

Felix plopped on the bed, sighing contently, and Hyunjin immediately chuckled in response.

“Jinnie, baby. You have to meet her, seriously”, Felix turned to his side and propped himself on his elbow, looking at Hyunjin.

“You think I’d like them?” His mate asked with a chuckle, barely even looking up from the piece he was working on.

“I’m sure you will, shit…”

Hyunjin agreed to meet you, so Felix gave him your contact, and in a couple of days, you two went on a date.

Felix wasn’t sure why he felt so incredibly excited at the prospect of you and Hyunjin going on a date. Maybe it was the fact that they both hardly ever found a common partner, and he was sure he’d enjoy his relationships much more if Hyunjin could be involved.

So he laid on his sofa that day, playing games on his phone and waiting for Hyunjin to come back home.

It was getting dark by the time Felix heard the tell-tale signs of a key going into the keyhole. Hyunjin stepped into the flat with languid steps, dropping his bag on the floor right by the entrance and making his way to the sofa. Felix fixed his gaze on him, looking at his every move. His hair was tousled, his shirt wrinkly and barely even tucked into his jeans, and Felix could’ve sworn he was limping a bit.

Finally, Hyunjin plopped on the other end of the sofa, slouching and staring at the ceiling, and Felix slung his legs over Hyunjin’s lap. He was silent for a while, but Felix didn’t push him, he simply kept quiet and waited for Hyunjin to gather his thoughts.

“Holy shit”, were the first words coming out of Hyunjin’s mouth, just as he brought a hand to softly caress Felix’s calf.

“How’d it go?” Felix couldn’t hold back any longer. He needed to know.

Hyunjin gestured in front of his chest, with his eyebrows high on his face. “Tits. Shit…”

Felix snorted at the comment, amused by the daze his partner was in. “I know, right?”

“That wasn’t normal, Lix”, Hyunjin finally looked at him, with an indecipherable glint of something in his eyes. “I’ve been with alphas before, but whatever that was went completely beyond that”.

“It kinda felt like…” Felix started, unsure if he should say it.

But Hyunjin clearly decided to say it instead. “Like when we’re together”.

“It’s crazy, though. We barely know them”, Felix was trying to find a logical explanation, anything factual, and not based on folklore.

Hyunjin snorted. “Darling, we’re dogs. What does it matter? Shouldn’t we follow our instincts? How many people can say they’re as lucky as us? I can’t believe we finally found a common match”, he carded his fingers through his hair, slumping further in his seat.

“So, that means that you’d like to… Include her? Like… The three of us being a thing?”

“After what I experienced today? Hell fucking yes”, Hyunjin chuckled. “As long as they want to. It’s all a bit… New”.

“Mm, it is”, Felix finally sat down on the sofa, sitting close to Hyunjin and dropping his head on his shoulder. The mix of his and your scent on his clothes had his heart doing somersaults in his chest.

Dating you was… Interesting. At first, you’d go on dates separately, either you and Hyunjin, or you and Felix, the three of you just getting used to one another. Until one day, finally, the three of you went out together.

Felix found it incredibly exhilarating, walking around with an arm around Hyunjin’s waist while holding your hand. It all felt just so… Natural. Easy. Just like it had been when Felix and Hyunjin started to get really close, when they figured out what they meant to each other.

It was all just so much fun, and he was having the time of his life.

Eventually, you needed to meet Chris. If Hyunjin and Felix wanted you to come over, they needed to make sure that their pack’s alpha approved of your presence at the den, and, honestly, Felix respected Chris way too much to not follow this rule, especially because it was one of the very few ones they had at all.

Chris was a bit guarded when you came to his flat to meet him for the first time. He was super stiff, and a bit more stoic than usual. Felix was sure it wasn’t the fact that you were an alpha per se, but the fact that you were an alpha that just wouldn’t stop shamelessly checking his girlfriend out, and it was probably triggering his instincts.

Felix had told you of their relationship before, but maybe he should’ve been a bit more explicit on how looking at her Like That could possibly bring your chances of coming and staying here to absolute zero.

Hyunjin had noticed, too. And he had been trying his best to distract you enough so you would stop. It wasn’t until Chris’ girlfriend excused herself for a moment, when Chris left the room and followed her, that both Felix and Hyunjin lunged at you.

“Darling, please. I’m begging… Stop checking her out. Chris is very possessive of our dear mother”, Felix urged, speaking as low as he could.

“Oh my God. Was it obvious?” You sounded genuinely distressed about it, and it made Hyunjin facepalm himself.

“Of course it was fucking obvious! You’re not exactly the epitome of discreet, love”, Hyunjin whispered-shouted.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to… I honestly have zero intentions with her. She’s just… Hot. Looks so…” You made squishing motions with your hands. You really didn’t need to say it, their pack’s mother was certainly very soft and squishable, Felix often found himself going for hugs or cuddling, so he understood, but his relationship with her was entirely familial, completely different to what you were doing right now, and it would never trigger Chris’ nature–unless the man was close to his rut, but those were technicalities…

“I’m just… Admiring, you know? Can you blame me?”

“No”, Hyunjin sighed, dragging his hand over his face. “But please stop looking at her like that. If there’s anyone off limits at this den, it’s her”.

You pouted, looking slightly annoyed, but you nodded regardless, finally taking a deep breath. “I know you guys are right… I’ll do my best not to start any fights over pretty girls here. No promises, though…”

When Chris and his girlfriend came back, your staring had finally stopped. Regardless, when they returned, Chris held onto his girl like the most obnoxious koala, and as usual, she didn’t seem fazed at all by this.

You gave Chris a bit of context on your life. Your den, your pack, but most importantly, you told him the values and foundations of your pack, which were very similar to Chris’ own. That, added to the fact that you stopped looking at his girl, had seemed to soften his entire demeanour.

“They can stay”, Chris told Hyunjin and Felix that same evening after you left. “They seem nice and I like what she’s doing with their pack”.

Felix heaved a sigh, feeling immensely relieved. At least, until Chris spoke again.

“But, respectfully, tell her to fucking stop looking at my girlfriend like that. At least when I’m around. It fucks up with my head, and it’s incredibly unpleasant, okay?”

Chris didn’t sound particularly angry, mostly just annoyed. Felix knew you wouldn’t make any real advances towards his girlfriend, just like Chris probably knew you wouldn’t, either. Not to say how they all knew his girl just wouldn’t even acknowledge any potential advance. Hell, Felix doubted she even noticed you were looking at her like that at all, she only ever seemed to register Chris in that regard.

But at the end of the day, just like Hyunjin often said, they were dogs, and they often had to fight their animalistic instincts with an insane amount of human self control, which could honestly get quite tiring.

With the approval of their alpha, you started to regularly come to their den–more specifically, to Hyunjin and Felix’s flat, of course. You wouldn’t spend the night that much, though, which was completely understandable. After all, you had a den of your own to attend to.

Some nights, Felix wished he could be snuggled between you and Hyunjin, he wondered how that would be like quite often.

When he told Hyunjin about this, he simply chuckled and said ‘we’d need to get a bigger bed, then. You and I can barely fit on ours’, which honestly sounded like an amazing idea to Felix, but Hyunjin shattered his fantasy when he added, ‘how would you be snuggled between us if you love to sleep at the foot of the bed, though?’ which was also an excellent point on his part…

Regardless, you came over often, to meet Hyunjin if he was there, to meet Felix if he was there, or to meet them both if they were both there. It didn’t really matter, you just dropped by and spent time with either or both and left your scent everywhere and Felix honestly loved it more than he could’ve ever imagined. There was hardly anything that made him as happy as the mix of your scent and Hyunjin’s all over him, it made him feel giddy, and warm, and loved.

“That’s it, Lixie, baby… You’re doing so well…”

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. Kneeling on the sofa, with one hand on your hip, the other fondling one of your breasts, and his chest firmly pressed to your back, Felix buried his face in the crook of your neck, moaning against your skin as you kept pushing your hips back to meet his thrusts. He felt just so drunk on your scent, on the feel of your ass hitting his pelvis, and the tight grip of your walls around his cock.

“You smell so… Good, fuck…” Sweat collected at his temples, he rolled your nipple between his fingers, making you moan, the sound turning to a blissed chuckle.

“You do, too, pup. Fresh… Like petrichor”, you told him simply, pushing your hips back harder, faster.

How many times had this sofa seen you two fuck in the past handful of months? Felix wasn’t sure, but he was sure it hadn’t been enough, he needed more of it. He loved doing it here, right in the living room. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the fact that your scent would linger in the fabric after you left and he’d get to smell it for days after when laid down.

Suddenly, you stopped moving, and Felix instinctively stopped moving as well as the sound of his front door opening reached his ears.

Okay, maybe it could also be the fact that Felix knew Hyunjin loved coming back home to the sight of his partners having sex that made him enjoy fucking on this sofa so much.

“You guys are fucking without me?” Hyunjin dropped his belongings at the entrance, pouting, quickly making his way to the sofa.

You chuckled, pressing a kiss on his lips once Hyunjin kneeled in front of you, wrapping his arms around you and Felix, sandwiching you between them. “You were taking too long to come home, Jinnie”.

“Too long, sweetheart”, Felix let go of your breast to grip the collar of Hyunjin’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss, too.

Hyunjin sighed, burying his face in the crook of your neck, while Felix did the same on the other side. “Got caught up at work…”

“You work too hard, honey”, you told him, wrapping one of your arms around his waist, pulling him further into you, striking a normal, almost domestic conversation as if your walls didn’t have a vice grip on Felix’s length.

“Did you at least manage to fix that part of the mural you didn’t like?” Felix asked, caressing Hyunjin’s hair, continuing the conversation as if he wasn’t rock hard inside of you.

“I did…” Hyunjin pressed his nose to your pulse point, inhaling deeply, audibly, and it made you chuckle.

“Wanna join us? Or are you gonna stay there and watch?” Felix could feel his cock twitch when you asked that, and honestly, either option sounded exactly like absolute heaven to him.

“Have to clean up, I’m covered in paint”, Hyunjin finally detached himself from your neck, looking between you and Felix with a sad pout on his lips. “You guys go on, I’ll join you after a shower”.

With a quick kiss to both of you, Hyunjin hurriedly retreated to the bathroom.

Felix attached his lips to your shoulder, peppering your skin with kisses as you took a hold of both of his hands and brought them to your chest. “Wanna keep going, Lix? Or do you need a break?”

He squeezed your breasts, trapping your nipples between his fingers, and the way you clenched around him with the motion had him salivating, truly making him feel like a dog. Like a really horny dog. “Let’s keep going. Or I’ll die”.

Reaching behind to take a hold of his hair, you turned your head, finding Felix’s lips for a heated kiss. As soon as your hips started to push back against him again, he groaned, the sound getting lost in your mouth while you held him tightly in place, ravishing his mouth.

Tugging his head back a bit, your lips attached to his jaw, the lack of your mouth on his own let his blissed grunts and groans and moans spill freely out of his mouth. He quickened his pace, and you immediately matched the rhythm. Between your scent and the sounds you were making and the slapping of skin and the delicious feel of you wrapped around him Felix started to feel lightheaded, he’d been so close to coming so many times throughout the entire evening he was sure he’d explode at any moment.

“Darling… I’m so, so close”, Felix couldn’t help but groan as soon as you started to move even faster, holding his hair tighter.

“Come whenever you want, sunshine”, when you kissed him again, when you started to rub circles on your clit and clenching so, so tightly around him, Felix knew he was done for, he wouldn’t last much longer.

Holding your hips and burying his face in the crook of your neck to get close to your pulse point, he snapped his hips as hard as he could, chasing that sweet, sweet relief, and as soon as he took in a deep breath and your scent engulfed him fully, his mind clouded.

“Fuck, fuck, Lixie, baby…” A growl resonated from deep within your chest as soon as you got your release, it made him shiver, and coupled with the feeling of your walls clenching repeatedly around his length was enough to send him over the edge.

Felix came with a deep, low growl, shooting his load into the latex. A low rumble started to resonate within him as he kept coming, and it remained even after your cunt had milked the very last drop.

“Aww, you’re rumbling. What a cute little pup you are”, you chuckled, slightly breathless.

Felix felt himself flush. Taking a hold of the condom at the base to secure it in place, he carefully pulled out of you, tying a knot and dropping the soiled latex on the floor to pick it up later. He plopped on the sofa, panting a bit, still rumbling, and he couldn’t help but scoff.

“And what about it?”

“Nothing”, you laid on top of him, kissing his cheeks, making him flush further. “You’re just really cute”.

“‘Course I am…” Felix mumbled, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close.

You just chuckled, pressing a loud, brief kiss on his lips.

After a quick moment of hydration, and as soon as Hyunjin was out of the bathroom, you and Felix pulled him into the bedroom, pushing him to the bed, not even giving him a chance to dry himself properly. You kissed Hyunjin fervently, just as Felix sucked love bites on his neck, eliciting a whimper from his mouth.

“Darling…” Hyunjin mumbled against your lips, trying to get your attention. “Want to… Would you let me…” With Felix’s languid strokes on his cock, Hyunjin could barely speak, and it had Felix growing impossibly harder against the curve of Hyunjin’s ass.

“What do you want, puppy?” You brought a hand to his chest, toying with one of his nipples, making him whine.

Hyunjin swallowed thickly, pushing his hips back against Felix’s length. “You… Want to taste you, please”.

“You want a taste?” You quirked a brow, pinching his nipple harder, making him swear and rut his hips harder against Felix. “What do you think, Lixie? Should I give our dear omega what he wants?”

Felix chuckled softly, licking the shell of Hyunjin’s ear, quickening the pace of his hand around Hyunjin’s length, reducing him to a whiny mess.

“He asked nicely, baby. Our Jinnie has had a hard day today, haven’t you, love?” Felix asked, and Hyunjin simply nodded in response, burying his face in the crook of your neck to get as much of your scent on him as he could. “I think he deserves a treat. Don’t you?”

“Are you turning soft on me now, Lixie?” You chuckled, but you pulled yourself away from Hyunjin anyway. He whined in protest, and you hushed him gently. “But I agree. Today our prince gets what he wants”.

Hyunjin hardly ever didn’t get what he wanted. Just that sometimes, what he wanted wasn’t for you and Felix to pamper him. Most times, he wanted to be ruined, to be played and toyed with however you and Felix pleased, to do whatever you wanted to him. Today didn’t seem like one of those days, so Felix didn’t see any reason to not give him what he asked for, just like you didn’t seem to, either.

Sitting against the headboard, you sat with your legs open, and Hyunjin immediately scrambled to get close to your core. The moment his tongue made contact with your skin, he groaned, and you bit your lip, looking at his every move. Felix just placed his hand on the back of Hyunjin’s head, softly caressing the strands as he enjoyed the sight of his tongue licking you, of his plump lips sucking on you.

“Baby…” You made grabby hands towards Felix, and he could feel his heart swell in his chest just by the way you looked at him, with need, and want, and maybe even love. “Kiss”.

Felix wasted no time, planting his lips on yours, relishing your moans against his lips, relishing the feeling of Hyunjin’s head bobbing and moving between your legs as he held him in place. Your tongue pushed its way inside Felix’s mouth, right as your hand wrapped around his length, and the sudden contact had him moaning immediately.

Your other hand joined Felix’s on Hyunjin’s head, further pushing him against you. Very quickly, the room filled with the sounds of your moans, of Felix’s moans, of Hyunjin’s moans… Groans, grunts, whimpers, and whines mingled with one another, to the point where it was hard to know from whom the sounds were coming out from. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was Hyunjin between your legs and your hand around Felix’s cock… All that mattered was the mix of your scents in this room on this bed and the amount of lust and love pouring out of all the three of you and bouncing off the walls.

Lately, there was nothing Felix enjoyed more than getting lost on his lovers bodies, than the feeling of you and him and Hyunjin just sharing your warmth, your pleasure, and as he felt you tense under Hyunjin’s quickening tongue, as he felt your grip on his cock tighten the further his mate worked you up, he knew there was nowhere else he wanted to be than right here, in this moment.

Felix detached his mouth from your lips, attaching himself instead to your neck, licking at your pulse point for a moment–just enough to get a concentrated taste of you, quick enough to not trigger your alpha instincts. The contact of his tongue on your neck was gone almost as soon as it started, and he finally moved away from your neck to attach his lips to your cheeks, groaning and moaning against your skin.

“You wanna make me come, Hyunjinnie?” You asked, and Hyunjin nodded, sucking your clit into his mouth, making you throw your head back against the headboard.

“Make our alpha come, Jinnie”, Felix pleaded, pushing Hyunjin further into you. “Use that filthy mouth of yours just like you know how to, and later, you can get my cock, too”.

Hyunjin moaned, the sound strained and muffled as he got lost in your heat.

“Our sweet prince just wants to have his mouth full, doesn’t he?” You pressed a kiss on Felix’s lips, and he felt you shiver and tense further. “Always eager…”

The closer you got to your high, the more your scent seemed to intensify, and Felix was almost drunk on the smell of fresh fruits and the forest. He rocked his hips, fucking your fist just as his tongue kept dancing against yours.

The sounds of your wet kiss, the sounds of Hyunjin slurping you up, the squelching sounds of your fist around his length had Felix’s head spinning, and when your release washed over you, the feeling of you trembling and the smell of your arousal in the air almost, almost made him come, too.

With a tight grip on Hyunjin’s hair, you got him off of you, tugging him up for a kiss, a kiss Felix couldn’t help but join, moaning at the taste of you on Hyunjin’s tongue.

“Satisfied? Happy you got what you wanted?” You asked as soon as Hyunjin separated his lips from yours, sounding incredibly confident for someone who was still panting for air.

Hyunjin nodded, whimpering when you tugged on his hair again. “Good. Now be a good boy and lay down for us, hm?”

Hyunjin scrambled, laying on his back and watching as you took a condom from the box that had been hastily thrown on the bed earlier. As soon as you slid the latex on his length and you made sure it was securely in place, you straddled him, sinking yourself on his cock in one swift movement, eliciting a shared groan of relief.

You didn’t move, you just sat on him, watching as Felix got close to Hyunjin’s head, kneeling with his length in his hand. Hyunjin looked up at him, with his eyes all glossy and with flushed cheeks, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. Truly a sight to behold.

“Please, Lixie…” Hyunjin begged, and you chuckled from your place on his lap, making him flush further.

“So desperate, baby. As if you didn’t just have your mouth busy… How needy…”

“If there’s one thing our Jinnie is, is needy. Aren’t you, love?” Felix chuckled, caressing Hyunjin’s cheek briefly, only to finally move closer to him, slapping his length against his cheek, making Hyunjin flush further. “A textbook slut, aren’t you?”

Hyunjin swallowed, nodding. The sound of a hand hitting skin resonated in the room, the slap Felix gave Hyunjin made his mate moan as soon as his palm made contact with the skin, and Felix gripped his chin tightly with one hand right after. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes!” Hyunjin whimpered, writhing a bit under Felix’s hold, and it made him feel tingly all over, tingly with lust and love and need. “Your slut!”

“Good boy”, you chuckled, pinching one of his nipples, making him squirm.

“Indeed. Our good little slut”, Felix let go of Hyunjin’s chin, caressing his cheek after.

“Please… Move, please”, it wasn’t very clear to whom Hyunjin was talking to, to you who had been sitting on his length for a while now, completely unmoving, or to Felix who had his cock so close to his mouth, but not letting it touch his lips at all. Most likely, it was directed to the both of you, but Felix decided to move first anyway.

“Open up, then, my dearest prince”, Felix couldn’t help but groan as soon as Hyunjin’s lips wrapped around him, sucking him eagerly, moaning around his length as he bobbed his head.

“That’s it, sweetheart… You always look the prettiest, the most handsome, with your mouth stuffed full of my cock, you know?” Pushing the tip of his length against Hyunjin’s cheek, Felix slapped the bulging skin a bit, relishing the way Hyunjin closed his eyes and moaned in bliss.

You chuckled from your place on Hyunjin’s lap, placing your hands on his chest for leverage and finally starting to bounce on his cock, making him whine and whimper as Felix kept thrusting into his mouth. “Look at you, Jinnie, dear. So pretty. Moaning for us like the prettiest bitch in heat”.

“Moaning like our perfect slut, you mean”, Felix chuckled, the sound breaking into a moan of his own as Hyunjin started to move as well, meeting Felix’s thrusts, letting his cock ease into his throat.

“That, too”, your pace was ruthless, the sound of his gagging and your skin hitting Hyunjin’s had Felix salivating, and he wasn’t sure where to focus. On his forever mate choking on his cock, or on your tits bouncing with every single one of your movements, or where Hyunjin’s length kept disappearing within your heat…

Hyunjin’s moans were getting increasingly more desperate, Felix could feel his orgasm grow incredibly close, and as soon as he locked eyes with you while he kept thrusting into Hyunjin’s mouth, he knew he wouldn’t last.

“Come here, Lixie. Let’s give our precious little omega what he wants”, you urged, quickening your pace.

“Fuck!” Hyunjin started to swear as soon as Felix’s length fell from his mouth, his blissed out noises now spilling freely from his swollen lips without the foreign body fucking his mouth.

Felix moved closer to you, just as you got off Hyunjin’s length and pulled the condom off of him, dropping it somewhere behind you to collect later. With his hand around his cock, Felix leaned into you, kissing you sloppily as he jerked himself, as you pumped Hyunjin with a tight fist.

Hyunjin was moaning a lot, Felix was grunting a lot, you were borderline growling, and it was all so much, so intense, Felix could feel his entire body tensing, and he was ready to burst at any second now.

The second you bit Felix’s lip, he couldn’t hold back anymore. Muttering a quick warning to no one in particular, and with a few more strokes, he finally came, spilling all over Hyunjin’s abdomen, his climax clouding his senses completely as all the tension finally left his body. He opened his eyes just enough to look at your hand around Hyunjin’s length, and if he hadn’t been lightheaded before he would’ve certainly been now at the sight.

“C’mon, Jinnie. Wanna come for us? For your precious mate and your dearest alpha?” Hyunjin frantically nodded in response to your question, gripping the bed sheets tightly in his fists, moaning and swearing and making all assortments of unintelligible noises under your ruthless grip.

With one final, drawn out moan, Hyunjin came, some of his seed dripped all over your fingers, while the rest landed on his torso, soiling him and mixing with Felix’s cum. As soon as the last drop was out of his mate, Felix dived, licking the mixture of their releases into his mouth. With his tongue thoroughly coated in their juices, he kissed Hyunjin, pushing his tongue into his mouth.

Hyunjin whimpered, pushing his tongue against Felix’s briefly, until finally you came close, and Felix simply moved his head enough so you could join in. And truly, Felix had never felt any more fulfilled than he did in this very moment, sharing that kiss with his two favourite people in this world, in that mess of tongues and lips and fluids.

With a satisfied sigh he dropped on the bed, laying next to Hyunjin just as you left the room, picking up the used condom from the floor on your way out. When you returned with a soaked washcloth in your hand, you cleaned up the mess that had been left on Hyunjin’s abdomen, murmuring soft words of encouragement as you did so. Felix simply took the cloth from you after to wipe the remnants of his release from his length just as you laid next to Hyunjin, pulling him to your chest, and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

As soon as Felix turned on his side, pressing his chest to Hyunjin’s back, Hyunjin started to rumble, letting out a content sight at your soft caresses on his hair and at Felix’s tender kisses on his shoulder.

“You should stay”, Hyunjin mumbled against your chest after a while, making you chuckle.

“I can’t tonight, pup. I’ve got to prepare this whole thing at the den… They’ll be waiting for me”, you answered simply, and when you looked at Felix he gave you his best puppy eyes, adding a sad pout for good measure.

You gave him a smile in response, pinching one of his cheeks. “I really can’t, Lix. Don’t make this any harder for me”.

“We just… Miss you when you’re gone”, Felix pressed his body further against Hyunjin, just as you did the same, effectively sandwiching him further between you two.

“We do”, Hyunjin reaffirmed, practically suffocating between your breasts, probably exactly where he wanted to be.

You sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind Felix’s ear. “I miss you guys, too. But you know I just… Can’t leave my packmates. They’re my family. And I know you guys won’t leave Chris, so… This’ll have to do for now. We’ll figure something out eventually”.

Felix just hummed, closing his eyes for a bit to enjoy the warmth of your palm on his cheek, to enjoy the rumble of Hyunjin against his chest, to ignore the need to find that solution right now. There was no point in dwelling on it when it truly was a bit of a complicated situation, and his post-coital state certainly didn’t make it any easier to make logical decisions.

The three of you laid there for a while, just sharing some body heat, some light conversation, until you moved to the bathroom to clean up, until you eventually had to call it a night and leave.

As Felix laid in bed with Hyunjin that night, curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed just how he loved to do, he realised that, he had truly never believed in soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was one hundred percent certain having one would feel just like it felt when he was with you and Hyunjin.

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whinlatter · 1 year

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Harry’s thoughts of Ginny in the Forest: a meta

‘Nothing too big, because you wouldn't be able to take it with you... I wanted you to have something to remember me by.' - DH, p. 99 (UK edition)

Here I am, on a rainy Thursday, doing re-reads for some writing and thinking about the parallels between Harry and Ginny's kiss on his birthday, and Harry’s thoughts of Ginny as he goes to his death.

I’m thinking differently about Ginny’s motivations for the kiss these days. I used to think about her words to Harry that morning, and the act of kissing him, as a promise she’ll wait for when he comes back. Lately, I’m wondering if it’s not something sadder, and more profound. I think what Ginny does on Harry’s seventeenth is the act of a person who is starting to process the fact that the person she loves is likely going to his death — that he might not be coming back. It's a scene of a person bracing for grief and thinking about love after death, and it will set the stage for how Harry meets his own death in the Forest.

So here’s a much-too-long meta to help me think through these ideas - about the kiss, Ginny’s suspicions about Harry’s fate, and what it means that Harry returns to the memory of Ginny at the end of his life. (Stick the kettle on for this one and if you worked this all out long ago before me, just give me an eye roll and forgive me).

I’ve always taken Ginny's words to Harry before their kiss at face value. I thought of it not quite as a fun scene - it’s certainly sad - but sweet, a little sexy, and sort of reckless, even a bit mischievous on Ginny’s part.

It’s the birthday of the boy Ginny loves. They’re not together anymore. She knows he's going away. She wants to give him a birthday present, but she doesn't want to give him something he has to haul around or might lose. She does want to let him know that, despite their separation, her feelings are still the same. She craves a moment with him before he goes. She is still in love with him, she is deeply attracted to him, and part of her still feels a bit possessive. Although she’s not really concerned Harry’s going to crack on with some Veela, she does want him to have a memento of their time together. She wants him to have a happy memory, of physical intimacy and emotional comfort, to keep him going while he's away, to feel less alone.

Most of all, I used to think of the kiss (and whatever Ginny imagined might come after the kiss) as a promise. I still love you. Even though we’re not together and I respect why you have to go, I’m still all in on this. I’ll wait for you for when you come back. I want you to have the memory of this, as proof.

Harry’s reveal

But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I think about the context of when this kiss happens, after Harry and Ginny's last conversation before his birthday. It's the one a few days before, when Harry and Ginny are laying the table for dinner, and Harry lets slip to Ginny what he, Ron and Hermione will be doing when they leave:

'‘And then what does she think’s going to happen?’ Harry muttered. ‘Someone else might kill off Voldemort while she’s holding us here making vol-au-vents?’ He had spoken without thinking, and saw Ginny’s face whiten.‘So it’s true?’ she said. ‘That’s what you’re trying to do? ‘I - not - I was joking,’ said Harry evasively. (DH, 78-9, UK edition)

This is a desperately sad scene, but it’s also an important moment. Harry, so used to having his guard down with Ginny, realises he’s accidentally confessed something big: that he’s going on the run to try and kill Voldemort himself, with Ron and Hermione’s help.

Ginny is shaken by this. As a character, she tends to either take things in her stride, or yells first, processes later. But this catches her off guard. Her words suggest there has been speculation about what it is the three of them are going off to do (‘So it’s true?’ suggests that Ginny, and perhaps other members of her family or the Order, have been speculating about this for some time). But both she and Harry realise here that he’s flippantly confirmed something huge that Ginny did not already know for sure. He’s spoken aloud the task is that Dumbledore has left him.

It is a sign of how close Harry feels to Ginny, how safe he feels in her company, and how difficult he finds managing keeping secrets from her, that he lets this slip. He won’t come as close to telling the truth to anyone else, even people he trusts. The scene before this, in his conversation with Mrs Weasley, he didn’t let on nearly as much (though he admits that he found affirming the importance of secrecy difficult when he looked at Mrs Weasley and saw Ginny’s eyes staring back at him):

‘Well, Dumbledore left me . . . stuff to do,’ mumbled Harry. ‘Ron and Hermione know about it, and they want to come too.’ ‘What sort of ‘stuff’?’ ‘I’m sorry, I can’t—’ ‘Well, frankly I think Arthur and I have a right to know, and I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Granger would agree!’ said Mrs. Weasley. Harry had been afraid of the “concerned parent” attack. He forced himself to look directly into her eyes, noticing as he did that they were precisely the same shade of brown as Ginny’s. This did not help… ‘Dumbledore didn’t want anyone else to know, Mrs. Weasley (…) I didn’t misunderstand,’ said Harry flatly. ‘It’s got to be me.’ (DH, 77-8)

Later, he’ll also refuse to give any information to Lupin, for the same reason.

'‘Can you confide in me what the mission is?’ Harry looked into the prematurely lined face, framed in thick but greying hair, and wished that he could return a different answer. ‘I can’t, Remus, I’m sorry. If Dumbledore didn’t tell you I don’t think I can.’ ‘I thought you’d say that,’ said Lupin, looking disappointed.’ (DH, 173-4)

But with Ginny, he’s accidentally gone much further. He hasn’t said Horcruxes, but he’s as good as. The trio are setting off to try to kill Voldemort, the most dangerous task imaginable in this war. He tries, in vain, to undo it, but the damage is already done. Ginny knows more now than she did before: that the journey he’s about to go on is one that very likely will claim his life.

What does Ginny know about Harry’s fate before this moment?

It's clear from this interaction that Harry has never discussed any of this with Ginny before. In their breakup scene, Harry repeatedly said that he was breaking up with her for her own safety. He said he did not want her to be used as bait, as she already had been previously, and as Sirius was: 'Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up...' (HBP, 602). The focus was entirely on the risk to Ginny's life, a risk Harry says he cannot live with.

Ginny’s remarks at Dumbledore’s funeral told us something about how she, at that point, understood the path ahead for Harry. She made her half-joke that Harry was always busy saving the Wizarding World, and says she thinks he 'would never be happy', never fulfilled or satisfied, unless he were 'hunting Voldemort' (HBP, 603). She showed she interpreted his actions as choices being made by someone brave, determined, and personally committed to bringing about the end of Voldemort, not someone destined to. Harry’s motivations and reasons are ones she respects and empathises with. She knows the path ahead is dangerous. She doesn’t yet think of it as lethal.

Harry didn’t respond to her assessments at the funeral, neither correcting nor confirming them. He didn’t let her know, at that stage, exactly what it is he is going to set off to do. The closest Harry came to revealing the road ahead for him in the break-up scene was this:

'It’s been like… like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you,' said Harry. 'But I can’t… we can’t… I’ve got things to do alone now.' She did not cry, she simply looked at him.’ (HBP, 602)

This is a pattern throughout their relationship, both as friends and later as romantic partners. Ginny knows a little, but not a lot, about Harry’s path. She thinks of it almost entirely as a decision he has made himself. Conversations about Harry’s destiny - about the Prophecy, about being the Chosen One, and, eventually, about the Horcrux hunt - happen near Ginny, but never with her. She does not seem to believe that Harry is the Chosen One or in any way bound to Voldemort's own fate. At the start of HBP, on the train in Slughorn’s carriage, Ginny states publicly her belief that any speculation about Harry being the Chosen One is nonsense:

‘We never heard a prophecy,” said Neville, turning geranium pink as he said it. ‘That’s right,’ said Ginny staunchly. ‘Neville and I were both there too, and all this ‘Chosen One’ rubbish is just the Prophet making things up as usual.’ (HBP, 140)

Ultimately, before DH, Ginny has been given very little information. We can assume that she’s decided to respect Harry’s decision to keep any information from her and not to push for it. She has reason to fear he might be in danger, but she doesn’t yet know the full extent of it.

Ginny’s response

The immediate aftermath of Harry’s confession at the Burrow is very telling.

‘They stared at each other, and there was something more than shock in Ginny’s expression. Suddenly Harry became aware that this was the first time that he had been alone with her since their stolen hours in secluded corners of the Hogwarts grounds. He was sure she was remembering them too.’ - DH (79)

It’s important that, immediately after this confession, Harry’s mind immediately takes him to private time spent alone with Ginny at the end of HBP. His certainty that Ginny, too, is reminiscing about them is typical of their wordless displays of understanding. They both reach for memories. And the memories of the last time he was alone with her, when they were still together, suddenly trigger an intense emotional and sexual tension. They are soon interrupted, and the dinner afterwards is extremely awkward. Harry wishes he were further away from Ginny, and tries, with great difficulty, to avoid touching her at the dinner table. The energy between them is intense and charged, anticipatory and frustrated. There are lots of ‘unsaid things’ that have just passed between them, and both are aware of it (DH, 79).

There are important themes being introduced here. Whenever Harry thinks about memories of his time with Ginny in DH, he does so consistently in two clear ways. To him, those times were private, intensely intimate moments which carried huge personal significance. It is strongly implied those were moments of sexual intimacy between the two of them, and where they shared an emotional closeness neither has found with any other character. But those moments with Ginny are also something Harry feels he was wrong to take. His relationship with her was something that, in retrospect, he embarked upon against his better judgement. He now feels it was something he was not entitled to, on account of his own burdens and obligations. Those were ‘stolen hours’ that were ‘something out of someone else’s life’. If we look to the wedding scene, we can see this most clearly:

‘‘Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely,’ said Auntie Muriel in a rather carrying whisper. ‘But I must say, Ginevra’s dress is far too low cut.’ Ginny glanced around, grinning, winked at Harry, then quickly faced the front again. Harry’s mind wandered a long way from the marquee, back to afternoons spent alone with Ginny in lonely parts of the school grounds. They seemed so long ago; they had always seemed too good to be true, as though he had been stealing shining hours from a normal person’s life, a person without a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead…’ (DH, 121)

There are certain tropes at play here, that will that recur again and again in Harry’s thoughts of Ginny until the point of his death: the memory of time alone, the feeling of shared emotional and physical intimacy, to an intense degree; the sense of their time together being something stolen, both in the sense of it being snatched from within darker times, but also being forbidden, given with Harry’s fate when it comes to Voldemort. That Harry recalls these moments at a moment as two other characters make lifelong vows of marriage to each other is not insignificant: all is set up to maximise the sense of tragedy.

Ginny processing Harry’s fate

Ginny is not naive. Harry’s confession seems to change something about how she thinks about what he’s about to do. She may once have dismissed the prophecy of Harry as the Chosen One as nonsense. But she now has reason to suspect that might not quite be true.

She may well re-trace what she does know. After all, she was at the Department of Mysteries two summers prior, where she learnt that Voldemort, at least, thinks there is a prophecy of significance that involves Harry directly. She knows Harry has been having one-on-one lessons with Dumbledore: she even gave him one of the invitations (HBP, 228). She also knows that Harry and Dumbledore left school for a secret mission alone on the night the Astronomy Tower was attacked and Dumbledore was killed. She observed how Harry saw Dumbledore’s death as a catalyst to prepare for a path that required him to step back from her. Above all, we also know that Ginny is a character who understands Tom Riddle intimately. She is one of the people who comes closest to understanding the stakes of your life being bound, in some way, to Voldemort.

It is also significant that Ginny is a character canonically intrigued, and touched, by death, and by powerful Dark magic. The diary, and her own near-death experience, is the most obvious example. But in the Department of Mysteries during OotP, we are told she is also one of the characters most drawn to the veil, despite having far less direct experience of loss and grief than Harry, Luna, or even Neville:

‘[Harry] took several paces back from the dais and wrenched his eyes from the veil. ‘Let’s go,’ he said. ‘That’s what I’ve been trying to — well, come on, then!’ said Hermione, and she led the way back around the dais. On the other side, Ginny and Neville were staring, apparently entranced, at the veil too. Without speaking, Hermione took hold of Ginny’s arm, Ron Neville’s, and they marched them firmly back to the lowest stone bench and clambered all the way back up to the door.’ (OotP, 775)

I don’t mean to suggest Ginny knew what was coming for Harry, that she foresaw him having to go to his death. She knows nothing of Horcruxes, she doesn’t know the contents of the Prophecy, and she certainly doesn’t know Harry himself is a Horcrux. Harry, of course, doesn’t yet know the certainty of him going to his own death, at this point in the text. But given the information she alone has been handed, inadvertently, by Harry, she has plenty of reason to begin to suspect the path Harry is on is one that might end in death, moreso for him than for an anyone else in this war.

Ginny doesn’t appear much in the following pages, other than in her role helping to prepare the house for the wedding. Over the next few days, she has lots of time to consider Harry’s words. We know she’s also sharing a bedroom with Hermione, who is actively preparing for their imminent departure, and watching the three of them try to sneak off together to make plans. This is time for Ginny to start to digest the information Harry has unwittingly divulged. She can now begin to think about how she ought to respond to the prospect of him leaving for a mission that will, likely, cost him his life.

The kiss itself

We can see Ginny has planned this interaction with Harry in her bedroom. The false casualness of how the scene opens - ‘Harry, can you come in here a moment?’ - and the actions of the bedroom’s other occupant, Hermione, suggests some level of premeditation and collaboration. For the first time, Ginny brings him into her bedroom, with the door closed. The setting is obviously intimate and suggestive.

Harry describes Ginny as seeming nervous, but purposeful, like she is readying herself for something - she ‘[takes] a deep breath’. She is looking at him ‘steadily’. Harry is nervous, too: he cannot bring himself to look at her, finding it almost painful, like ‘gazing into a brilliant light’ (DH, 98). Her trademark blazing look is in full force. She doesn’t entertain his attempts at small talk: she is serious about what she’s about to do.

‘‘I couldn’t think what to get you,’ she said. ‘You didn’t have to get me anything.’ She disregarded this too.’ (DH, 98-9)

Ginny opens by revealing how difficult it has been for her to work out what she could give him, under the circumstances. She is, in her own way, acknowledging how hard she is finding processing what it is he has to do now. She has been struggling with the prospect of Harry’s departure, and the possibility, even the likelihood, of his death. But she has decided she wants to make that path easier for him. Despite his reassurance, she insists she wanted to give him something.

‘‘I didn’t know what would be useful. Nothing too big, because you wouldn’t be able to take it with you.” He chanced a glance at her. She was not tearful...' (99)

These lines are so significant. The first two lines in particular are deeply profound. They read very differently to how I first thought of them, if seen in this light. I didn’t know what would be useful, she says, because she doesn't know what she can say that will be useful. What could possibly make this easier, to help Harry think about the enormity of his situation, or to help guide him on a path requiring him to accept his own likely death?

She doesn’t want what she gives to him now to be too heavy, too sad, or too serious, because she knows Harry will not be able to deal with it (‘nothing too big’). Anything too declaratory, too sentimental, or too enormous, would be impossible for him to leave with. In the last part of the sentence, her words are deliberately vague: because you wouldn’t be able to take it with you.

I think this is the most poignant part, and it suggests the part of Ginny's mind that believes in, and is curious about, what happens beyond, after death: the voices on the other side of the veil. I think there is some part of her that thinks Harry might be going somewhere she can’t reach him - what Dumbledore will later call going on. Ginny does not openly speculate about where Harry will be taking whatever she gives him. That it could be to his own grave, or beyond, is left unspoken. He looks at her, finally, after these words, because he seems to understand, on some level, what she is trying to say to him.

‘She took a step closer to him. ‘So then I thought, I’d like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela when you’re off doing whatever you’re doing.’’ (DH, 99)

Ginny has decided: the thing she will give him is a memory, one that he can take with him when they part. Something to remember me by. She wants the memory of her, of them, to be useful, to serve him in some way, and to be something that he might be able to take on with him after death. She tries to soften what she’s trying to convey, with the joke about the veela. But both seem to understand what she is really saying: that she isn’t really asking for his loyalty or fidelity. She doesn’t say she’s giving him ‘something to remember me by’ for when he comes back and they can be together again. Her words are very final. The joke is supposed to make it easier for him to hear what she is saying: she’s telling him, quietly, how to think about her when he leaves, whatever leaving might mean.

Harry, for his part, continues the joke. (‘I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest.’) She plays along, sort of, in a very sad way (‘there’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for’). But both seem to know that there is no real silver lining to this.

And then there’s the kiss itself:

‘There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for,’ she whispered, and then she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before, and Harry was kissing her back, and it was blissful oblivion, better than Firewhisky; she was the only real thing in the world, Ginny, the feel of her, one hand at her back and one in her long, sweet-smelling hair —’ (DH, 99)

It all comes to a head here. Harry recognises that this kiss feels exceptional, unlike any other they’ve ever shared - that Ginny has never put so much into a kiss before. It is ‘blissful oblivion’, this moment of extraordinary intensity, where she kisses him and allows him, for a moment, to think only about her and them together. It’s heady and sexual (‘the feel of her’). It’s a gift for Harry to be able to forget everything and let this moment be a vacuum, to focus only on her. The crescendo effect of the short causes and run-on sentences allows the moment to build and build, a crescendo effect that anticipates something to come.

Of course, their moment gets interrupted, again. Unlike when Ron interrupted her with Dean, Ginny doesn't rage at him this time: she is subdued, a response that is far more appropriate for her processing the fact that she may have just had her final kiss with the boy she loves. Harry suspects she has started to cry, something he notes is out of character. Ginny had imbued a lot of meaning into this interaction: this is a portrait of a character whose heart is breaking.

When Harry and Ron are discussing the kiss outside on the lawn, after the initial shock of being yelled at by Ron for going anywhere near Ginny, Harry has his own, shattering realisation of what all of this means for himself and Ginny:

‘Yeah, but you go snogging her now and she’s just going to get her hopes up again—’ ‘She’s not an idiot, she knows it can’t happen, she’s not expecting us to— to end up married, or—’ As he said it, a vivid picture formed in Harry’s mind of Ginny in a white dress, marrying a tall, faceless, and unpleasant stranger. In one spiralling moment it seemed to hit him: Her future was free and unencumbered, whereas his . . . he could see nothing but Voldemort ahead.’ (DH, 100)

Thinking aloud, Harry says it would be idiotic for he or Ginny to imagine they could be together, either now, or at any point in the future. He expects her to find someone else; he cannot even begin to imagine a future for himself after the task set out for him. He does not say his inevitable death - he has not yet embraced that reality - but he remains caught in the certainty of an existential battle with Voldemort that he knows he may well not survive.

Later that day, Harry will receive the snitch from Dumbledore’s will. Though he doesn’t know it yet, he now holds the resurrection stone, the item that will open at the close in the forest. It is a birthday that starts and ends with hints about what little time he has left: the stage is set for an arc that, now, has to end in his own death.

Foreshadowing Ginny and the Forest

Moments foreshadowing the significance of the forest are all over Deathly Hallows. Sometimes, they mirror the moment of his own death; often, they are related to Ginny. When they leave the Ministry, with Ron splinched, clutching the Horcrux locket, they arrive in a forest. For a moment Harry’s heart ‘leaped’ at the thought that they were back in Hogwarts’ grounds, the site of so much of his earlier happiness with Ginny (DH, 221). When the trio hear that Ginny, Neville and Luna tried to steal the sword of Gryffindor, it is the Forbidden Forest they are sent to by Snape as punishment (248-9). Harry does not fear the Forest, and is consoled by the thought of Ginny serving detention there rather than anywhere else.

In the Forest of Dean, the scene where Ron returns begins with Harry thinking of Ginny. He sits at the mouth of the tent, wanting to look for Ginny on the Marauders’ Map, until he remembers it’s Christmastime and she is at the Burrow (297). Later, in a moment that mirrors his later walk to his death, he follows his mother - Snape’s patronus, the doe - into the woods, in order to recover and destroy the Horcrux, inching Harry’s own life closer to its close:

Though the darkness had swallowed her whole, [the doe’s] burnished image was still imprinted on his retinas; it obscured his vision, brightening when he lowered his eyelids, disorienting him. Now fear came: Her presence had meant safety. “Lumos!” he whispered, and the wand-tip ignited. The imprint of the doe faded away with every blink of his eyes as he stood there, listening to the sounds of the forest, to distant crackles of twigs… He held the wand higher. Nobody ran out at him, no flash of green light burst from behind a tree. Why, then, had she led him to this spot?’ (DH, 299)

Foreshadowing Harry's end in the Forest means also foreshadowing Ginny's own appearance at the moment of his death.

Harry’s ‘death’ in the Forest

In the final battle, Ginny is the last person Harry sees before he begins his walk into the Forest. He takes the words she says to the child on the ground as her final act of comfort. Harry hears them as if they are being spoken to him:

‘He was feet away from her when he realised it was Ginny. He stopped in his tracks. She was crouching over a girl who was whispering for her mother. ‘It’s all right,’ Ginny was saying. ‘It’s okay. We’re going to get you inside.’ ‘But I want to go home,’ whispered the girl. ‘I don’t want to fight anymore!’ ‘I know,’ said Ginny, and her voice broke. ‘It’s going to be all right.’ Ripples of cold undulated over Harry’s skin. He wanted to shout out to the night, he wanted Ginny to know that he was there, he wanted her to know where he was going. He wanted to be stopped, to be dragged back, to be sent back home (...) Ginny was kneeling beside the injured girl now, holding her hand. With a huge effort Harry forced himself on. He thought he saw Ginny look around as he passed, and wondered whether she had seen someone walking nearby, but he did not speak, and he did not look back.’ (DH, 558-9)

Harry believes that this is his final moment with Ginny before he goes to die. A part of him wants her to know that it’s happening: he is leaving, at last. But he can't call to her, because he worries she will try and stop him, and he might let her. Instead, he walks on, and doesn’t look back. After watching Ginny comfort the girl crying for her mother, Harry then goes on to the Forest, and summons his own mother, his own family, to walk with him to his death.

‘His body and mind felt oddly disconnected now, his limbs working without conscious instruction, as if he were passenger, not driver, in the body he was about to leave. The dead who walked beside him through the forest were much more real to him now that the living back at the castle: Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and all the others were the ones who felt like ghosts as he stumbled and slipped toward the end of his life, toward Voldemort. . . .' (DH, 561-2)

Harry is already preparing to go on from this world: his living loved ones are the ones he now feels furthest from. He stands now with the dead he has summoned, who recognise him and seem to have memories of him. He doesn't fear the dead: he is going to join them.

It’s the death scene itself that I think has subtle, but important parallels with the kiss scene much earlier. In both imagery and in writing style, the scene recalls that earlier moment, where Harry found himself on the edge of another kind of oblivion. There is this mounting, febrile sense of anticipation. There is a tension that is almost sexual, a dynamic injected into the scene through descriptions of Bellatrix’s body language and behaviour towards Voldemort:

‘Bellatrix, who had leapt to her feet, was looking eagerly from Voldemort to Harry, her breast heaving. The only things that moved were the flames and the snake, coiling and uncoiling in the glittering cage behind Voldemort’s head.’ (DH, 564)

The ugly parallel of Bellatrix and Voldemort is not supposed to show the pair as the mirror image of Harry and Ginny. Rather, it is a theme that recurs throughout the series to demonstrate the gulf between Harry, with his immense capacity for love, and Voldemort, with none. Bellatrix and Ginny are memorably paralleled twice in the series: once, at the Department of Mysteries, where Bellatrix moves to ‘torture the little girl’, and Harry steps in to prevent her (OotP, 783), and again in the final battle:

'Bellatrix was still fighting too, fifty yards away from Voldemort, and like her master she dueled three at once: Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, all battling their hardest, but Bellatrix was equal to them, and Harry’s attention was diverted as a Killing Curse shot so close to Ginny that she missed death by an inch— He changed course, running at Bellatrix rather than Voldemort, but before he had gone a few steps he was knocked sideways…’ (DH, 589)

As Harry waits for the killing curse, we see the most direct parallel with Ginny's final kiss to him:

‘None of the Death Eaters moved. They were waiting: everything was waiting. Hagrid was struggling, and Bellatrix was panting, and Harry thought inexplicably of Ginny, and her blazing look, and the feel of her lips on his — ’ (DH, 564)

There's such an intense physicality and breathlessness to the whole scene, and an enduring pseudo-sexual tension, with Bellatrix audibly panting. Even the sentence structure even invokes the kissing scene: the run-on build up of clauses, the repetition of the present participle to actively hold the reader in one present moment, building and building and ending on a dash, the promise of something more.

At the end of his life, Harry returns to the memory Ginny gave him. She meant for it to be useful, if he was to go to his death. And at the close of his life he chooses to use it, as he prepares to leave her behind in this world and depart for the next. Just as the Resurrection Stone helped accept death, so too does the memory of Ginny. He feels the memory of her, the sensation of physical touch and of being kissed, the look she gives him that he knows as one of love and great courage. As he is killed, he remembers her last gift to him, the certainty of her love for him impressed upon him.

There's a line in OotP that I think is such an underrated line that sums up who Ginny is as a character. Harry is trying to get to Umbridge's fire to speak to Sirius when he thinks the latter is being tortured at the Ministry; Hermione suggests using Ginny and Luna as a distraction, despite Harry's objections:

'Though clearly struggling to understand what was going on, Ginny said immediately, ‘Yeah, we’ll do it,'... (OotP, 736)

This is who Ginny is. It's especially who she is to Harry, during the war. She doesn't fully know what's actually being asked of Harry (and, by extension, what is being asked of her, as the person who loves him, and who has most to lose if he is to die). But even when kept in the dark, she is enormously selfless, and her biggest act of bravery is extremely quiet. She keeps the secret Harry accidentally bestows on her, and she realises, in some sense, before he does, what it will likely mean for his life. She chooses to let him go on, knowing that he is loved, to make the path that he is on a little bit easier, even when she has realised that it will take him away from her for good.

#well that was longer that it needed to be #when in doubt write your way thru ur thoughts #pointing out foreshadowing and gasping is a full time job #justice for the birthday smooch basically #man said: blissful oblivion and also oblivion as in my DEATH #too deep in this to work out if this is even insight at this point #hp analysis #meta #harry/ginny #harry and ginny #hinny #harry x ginny #harry potter #ginny weasley #deathly hallows

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peeterparkr · 4 months

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thus, with a kiss, i die| tom holland

PROLOGUE: the rivalry.

romeo & juliet modern au.

summary: the well known story of star-crossed lovers. Your local bar has two spots for bands, but only one spot for an opportunity to get a record deal. Your band, the Capulets and his band, the Montagues have been rivals long enough. But what happens after a night when you get to know their lead singer?

chapter summary: who are the great rivals at the Verona bar?

pairing: singer!tom holland x guitarrist!reder

warnings: swearing, alcohol mention

word count: 3k

this is literally romeo and juliet, it's one of my favorite stories, if you've read my other works you KNOW I love to quote it, and reference and eveyrhting. Anyway, this is my take on it. Modern world, hope you like it. I haven't written anything in ages so here goes.

character glossary next chapter masterlist

wanna be tagged?

This is an unequivocally known story, a tale as old as time, of those of two star crossed lovers, who most likely lost their mind. Star-crossed lovers, they call them as if the stars were undeniably conspiring against them. Are the stars really against secret, illicit-feeling escapades of a young, naive love, so powerful and strong that it ends up in death?

Or were they too busy to help them out when everything went insane?

Shakespeare said it himself, didn’t he? ‘Violent delights have violent ends’. Perhaps the name and the reference itself doomed upon a foretold tragedy. Yet, here we are.

And it all comes back to a simple rivalry, and thus shall start like it always does. In a small bar named ‘Verona’, always playing live music, near a college. Nothing too unusual, nothing so fancy. With a small stage. Smoking blue and purple. With a wall full of old bottles, just to adorn. A small stage with a few vintage lights hanging from the ceiling, a worn out rug, and a neon light sign which read: ‘Don’t waste your love’.

Where people gathered to have a beer, or two in those small wooden tables, or perhaps in the green couch, nibbling on a few snacks while they listen to one of the two bands Verona offered.

Some liked the Capulets, an all female band. Some liked the Montagues, perhaps for the handsome lead singer. Some liked both. Some liked neither.

But Verona was the rivalry. The rivalry between the two bands was what made Verona an interesting place, or that’s what some people liked to pry upon, the well known story about two former friends, Monty and Billie ‘Cap’ who once fought almost to death and decided to each go their separate ways and declare themselves sworn enemies.

Things hadn’t been quite the same since. Each formed their own band in an act of revelry and had tried to crush the other. The Capulets were known for their soul-crushing lyrics, meanwhile the Montagues were known for their remarkably outstanding sounds. As said before, their lead singer was quite someone that moved crowds. Pleasing to the eye.

The Capulets had recently lost their main guitarist and a rumor of who would join had circulated. Monty was anxious to learn all about the new member. A war shall begin.

In all honesty, nobody really cared about them, but both were on the edge waiting for each other's next movement.

And in the end, they were young and naive with big wishes and hopes, with the same stupid dream that one day someone would walk in the night their gig was on and offer them the entire world.

It was funny, how they believed so much in Verona, just a small bar, that happened to have a few legends come from. A few people said great names like Billy Joel had once played there. Drunk folks are very unreliable narrators. But not quite the most unreliable.

Which brings us to two members of the Capulets, Georgia and Sam. The drummer and pianist, respectively. The first, a short haired, with a diverse set of earrings, a top tank and loose pants. A cigarette hung from the corner of her lips. The two of them were having a drink, knowing they would have to listen to the Montagues later, they needed some alcohol in their body to make sure they could stand the occasion.

Some of Montague’s crew had already arrived and were tuning in. They watched, amused. It was a fair Friday afternoon, and people were gathering already to have a beer and some chips.

“You know, we got the Saturday gig? ” Samantha said as she plaid with a half-full cold beer glass. Her style was more 70’s, big hair, big pants and striped shirt. “If we keep going like this we’re going to crush them.”

“I think we should actually crush them,” said Georgia, puffing her cigarette. “Get a whole ass piano and just dump it on them, cartoon style, y’know? Especially Tom. Gosh, I’d like to just get rid of his stupid British face. I might dislike him more than Monty.”

Sam shrugged. “That was a great move, you’ve got to admit that.”

“Aye, great move? Getting a pretty face just to get more audience, please,” Georgia rolled her eyes. “This should be about talent!”

Although she knew that half the girls there were just there to see Tom. Georgia only judged them slightly. Tom was most definitely the newest sweetheart. Curls, chocolate kind eyes, and Georgia supposed he was fit. Besides, a hopeless romantic, or so the girls would say only because he had an accent. Perhaps they all believed he was the next Hugh Grant.

“Perhaps Cap should bring in someone as beautiful, y’know? As bait.”

Georgia rolled her eyes once again. Although it didn’t sound as stupid. And perhaps that’s why Cap had decided to bring in someone as beautiful. Although the new member, Georgia knew, was naive and had a lot to learn, she could perhaps appeal more. And besides their looks, their talent to write, Georgia knew it was most likely to appeal to Paris, the young handsome bartender, the bar’s owner's protege, who could pitch in to have them more often.

But they were losing right now and they both knew it. How they’d manage to convince Princess Skylar to get them the next day was beyond them. Skylar was the bar owner, or at least she presented herself as so. Even though she was just a manager she basically owned the place. She gave out the slots as long as people were buying drinks. And lately the Montagues were bringing in more money.

Montgomery, ‘Monty’ had brought in Tom to be his new lead singer, and they’d been booking the Saturday gigs more often since. Perhaps bringing in a wider female demographic to Verona, buying pretty cocktails. Although, Georgia thought it could be now constructive for them since the male demographic had decreased and they tend to be the ones to drink more beer. Besides, one thing they could rely on was Tom having a girlfriend, so at least the girls would eventually have to give up and go back to the heart wrenching lyrics.

“Is it me or do they sound worse each day?” Wondered Sam as she heard a hard tune. Bea, her enemy, the Montague’s pianist was a fan of only key smashing. “Whenever I listen to them I just need to run to the bathroom and puke.”

“No, I think you should just puke on them,” Georgia said. “I’d be your number one fan.”

Abby, the Montague’s drummer, and Georgia’s number one enemy had overheard. Georgia said her technique lacked enthusiasm. While Abby said Georgia lacked any technique.

Both were wrong.

“Whatcha say?” Abby questioned. “Did y’all come here to learn?”

“Learn?” Sam stood up with her beer. “Learn how not to play, am I right Georgia?”

Sam wasn’t good with comebacks. Georgia pulled her back down.

Abby chuckled. “If you play like that then I won’t worry anymore.”

“Ah,” grinned Georgia raising her own drink, vodka soda. “So you are worried. Gotcha.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “I don’t believe you’re invited here.”

Ben, another member of the Montagues and the reason they had a new lead singer was nearby plugging in his instrument. Not as handsome as the others, people would say, but he was peaceful. “Let them be, Abby. They can be here.”

He often tried to ignore them, he was there for the music and the music only. He thanked Monty for giving him the chance to be there and disregarded the stupid rivalry. He was the bassist, and had become quite popular now that he was acquainted with Tom.

He didn’t like any trouble… unlike Theodora, another member of the Capulets who was with them at the bar but had been quiet enough. It was hilarious how they often were angered by the other’s presence and yet neither tried any other place to hang out.

Theodora searched for the trouble. Perhaps Theodora was the one to hate the most of the Montagues. All of them and especially their newest member. She was the scariest of the Capulets, impulsive and with probably some anger issues. She despised them, and wasn’t afraid to show it.

“Eh, for sure we can be here. It’s a bloody bar. But you could try and kick us out. Don’t be such a pussy, Ben Dover,” Theodora’s first statement was one to make heads turn.

Ben turned to look at her from his bass. “I’d rather not get tired, unlike you I care more about my music.”

“Why does it sound like a bunch of people farting then?” Asked Sam. Again, she wasn’t good at this.

But before he could even respond, Bea, the pianist had already begun the… fight, if you could call it one. Apparently the fart statement had been the one to bother her, funnily enough.

She’d stormed over, yelling and screaming nonsense. Raising her hands and giving them fingers.

Very classy.

Georgia and Sam had stood up to walk over to the stage. Bea had continued a rampage of all the cuss words she could think of and calling them out on their lack of talent and accusing them of coming here only to plagiarize their songs, to which Theodora kindly answered they couldn’t plagiarize a ‘pile of pure shit’ unless they went to the bathroom. Sam had continued with the fart insults.

Ben only stood there watching them and trying and failing to calm them down.

Soon, the other poor customers at the bar were involved in the fight, trying to incentivize the company. Some others were drunk enough to fight with them and others just enjoyed the show.

Billie, ‘Cap’, who had acquired the nickname from quite a young age, by making everyone call her ‘O’ cap’n my cap’n’ after making The Dead Poets Society her entire personality, had walked in along with her girlfriend, Clara. Cap was usually chill. A great leader, a great singer and a great friend. Unless, of course, you betray her. She’d been betrayed by Monty, whom she’d now nicknamed Slap-Dick.

“Christ.” Cap muttered as soon as she saw the scene. Part of her band only raised glasses, fingers and lame insults and she was sure she’d just seen a beer can fly by. “Angel,” she turned sweetly to Clara. “Will you please hold this?” As she handed over her purse.

“What for?” Clara questioned.

“Yes, I might need to throw some hands— oh, how interesting, see who just walked in, the scum himself, Slap-Dick,” she greeted.

Monty, one hand on his girlfriend’s, Maddie, waist, and one hand holding his guitar walked in. Cap scrunched her nose with disgust.

“The fuck are you doin’ here Cap’n Crunch,” Monty snapped. “It’s our gig tonight, please get your vulgar and uncivilized twats out.”

“I’m pretty sure your darling band if we can dare to call it that, was the one to start this,” Cap crossed her arms. Cap knew her own crew was not good at insulting. Although as she eyed Theodora she thought she may have been wrong in her initial statement. Still, she continued. “Your zoo is making all of this noise.”

“Oh! Fuckin—.” Monty laughed but thankfully was interrupted before he could say anything that would make the show even better.

“Stop!” Skylar had yelled, breaking a bottle against the wall as all the lights were turned off and the faint ambiance music stopped playing. She liked drama. “For fuck’s sake, stop!”

Everyone felt the air cold, paused in the middle of the argument. The lights were turned back on, completely, leaving nothing to the imagination. It was chaos, as if a hurricane had hit the entire bar. Theodora was holding Ben by his shirt, Bea was standing on a chair, Sam and Abby just stood in front of each other. The other drunken clients just stood there awkwardly. Standing ever so slightly less elegant.

“I’m so fucking done with this,” Skylar said. “Stop you assholes, this is the third time this month.” She made her way through the tables and snapped her fingers down twice at Bea, motioning for her to get down. “I don’t care about your stupid feud,” she continued as she snatched Theo’s hand off Ben. “ It's so stupid, you’re both terrible bands,” she said as she walked in between Sam and Abby, separating them as both fueled with rage. “If this doesn’t stop,” she said, taking Georgia’s drink now and taking a sip for her. “And I’m talking to you both now,” she turned to watch Cap and Monty. “I’m going to cut you off, deadass. Not one more gig for either. Do you understand?”

Both tried to complain.

“I said, do you understand?” Skylar was firm.

“Yes, princess,” Monty hissed the nickname. Montgomery Williams was exactly the guy you’d think of when you thought of a guy who formed a band and played the lead guitar. His dark hair fell to his eyebrows and his cheeks were sucked in enough for him to be considered handsome. He was often seen with a pair of dark jeans and a new band t-shirt. A cigarette was his trademark accessory. Bulked enough but, not really. And he was often accompanied by his newest pursuit, this time, Maddie, a girl whose clothes were probably bought too tight on purpose.

“Now, Capulets, please give me the pleasure of your kicking you out,” Skylar said

Montgomery smirked.

“No, no, Monty, don’t get your hopes up. They don’t play until tomorrow, so from now on whenever the other band is playing the rivals cannot step in here, otherwise I’ll fuck you up,” Skylar threatened.

“I wanted a beer,” Cap complained earning a deathly glare from Skylar. “Fine, princess!” She took a deep breath. “Caps, let’s go get wasted at my place!” She ordered and her mates followed after.

Skylar had her arms crossed at the entrance as they walked out and the members of the Montagues clapped. She rolled her eyes.

“‘Lright everyone, if anyone causes another disturbance I’ll—“

“Fuck us up,” Monty finished. He clapped his hands and pushed Skylar from her shoulders back to the bar. “Absolutely, no worries, Sky, we’re very civilized and we will give you the best show tonight. We’re classy!”

“Don’t touch me again,” was the last threat she gave before heading back to her office.

Monty gave her a fake smile and then turned to Ben. “The fuck happened?”

Ben made his way back to the stage as he was followed by the rest of the band. “Honestly, Georgia and Sam were just here chilling. Abby overheard them and wanted to snap at them, I tried to calm them down but Theodora, you know Theodora.”

“Insane bitch, yeah.”

“Theodora just snapped and then it’s a blur,” Ben explained.

“Fuckin’—“ Monty pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mkay, well. We can’t let them, you know, get on our nerves, that what they want, they want to get rid of us, no matter what, they don’t even care if they go down with us,” Monty said. “So, uh—yeah, especially now that Tom joined us they’re desperate.”

His band mates only nodded with agreement.

“And— where the hell is he?” Monty frowned, noticing just now that his lead singer was nowhere to be seen. “We play soon, that idiot,” he rubbed his face with stress. Although he loved to pride himself on being better than Cap, he was often found with insecurities because deep down he believed he wasn’t.

Monty was especially scared now that he knew Cap was going to present her secret weapon the very next day. Why they were given a Friday instead of a Saturday was scary for him. Who had they brought in?

Perhaps, the Tom furor was finally gone after a few weeks, considering that although more women were parading in Verona, they would soon be gone as soon as they found out Tom was not available and not willing to flirt with them. Even when Monty had encouraged it, the guy would just politely decline it.

And now, they had the Saturday gig. The most important gig, and although Friday was next in line, he knew that important people showed up on Saturdays. Not Fridays.

Though he didn’t blame it entirely on Tom’s reluctance to flirt. He knew Cap had pulled her cards right. And he knew it had something to do with Skylar. Had anyone slept with her? Or had they given her money? Had their songs penetrated Skylar’s walls?

Either way. They had to have their lead singer show up. He couldn’t hide his anxiety as he approached the microphones, tapping slightly on them to try them.

Ben coughed, watching him.

“Ben?” Monty’s eyes widened. “Where is he?”

“Look, I haven’t heard of him since the morning,” Ben explained.

Monty furrowed his eyebrows.

“He did text me he would be here, but.”

“But what?”

“Him and Rosie broke up so he might not be feeling well, he told me he was devastated. He told me he was getting a drink before.”

Monty heard the news. His lead singer had broken up and was devastated on a Friday night gig. Where they had to sing silly love songs and hard beats. Songs that would be ruined if not sung with the right emotion. Songs that could potentially be ruined if sung drunkenly.

But…

“Are you telling me that…” Monty approached the mic, tapping it to make sure everyone heard him. “Did I hear that right Ben?”

“Monty.” Ben shut his eyes closed.

“Did you just tell me our handsome, British, sweetheart, muscly lead singer is single now?” He questioned with a smirk knowing he’d gotten the attention.

“Monty.”

“Did you just tell me that?” Monty pushed. “Is Tom single?”

Ben shook his head annoyed. “Yes, Monty.”

Monty smirked as he turned to the crowd. “Ladies… and no, actually, just the ladies, you just heard it! Our lead singer is recently single so I will need all of you to give him a warm welcome when he’s here, he’s going to need a lot of love. Will you guys help me with it?”

And for now, he knew, he was back again at the race.

character glossary next chapter masterlist

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i'm tagging some friends and some who asked, if you want to be added to the taglist tell me if you want to be removed, no worries tell me as well! :)

tags: @lnmp89 @blondygwendy @dangerousluv1 @love-granger @kikiwritesfanfics @astoldbydanid @erodasghosts @peterdarlingg @hollandweather @annathesillyfriend @mannien

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #peter parker #peter parker x reader #tom holland au #romeo tom holland #romeo and juliet au #spiderman x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland yes #twakid

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sillybucket · 10 months

Text

“They won’t look at me” { Jonathan Ohnn/Spot x g/n reader }

I just love writing for this character , so I decided to make another little story featuring the Spot :D

As always I apologize for possible ooc moments , and if someone already wrote about something similar know that it’s not my intention to copy anyone !

🍃 Warnings 🍃 : there is some angst in this one … basically , Johnathan and the reader have a talk with his parents some time after his transformation , and unfortunately it doesn’t go well for the poor guy ;(

☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ .

The room was alarmingly quiet , the sound of the clock on the wall and the traffic outside were the only things that interrupted the silence as the four people in the kitchen sat in front of each other …

The tension was palpable , Jonathan could feel the judgmental , baffled looks his parents occasionally gave him , and when (y/n) held his hand to comfort him he looked back at them with genuine gratitude before taking a deep breath .

“So uh … mom , dad , how have you been doing ?”

, he timidly asked , desperate to end that suffocating silence in some way .

“Business has been going well . My technological inventions are on high demand , so that’s something .”

Jonathan’s father averted his eyes from his son while answering his question , almost like he just couldn’t handle to look at his face …

“If that’s all you wanted to know you might as well leave now , we’re both busy and really don’t have any time to lose .”

Jonathan let out a sigh , trying to get his thoughts in order while (y/n) stared at his dad in disbelief :

he couldn’t be serious … sure , Lucas Ohnn was a very important scientist with a reputation to protect , but treating a member of his own family in such a cold , distant way simply because he looked different was simply unacceptable .

“I … just wanted to pass by to see if you were okay , and to let you know that you don’t have to worry about me : it hasn’t been easy , but I’ve been doing my best to rebuild my life after … after all that’s happened . Also I wanted to introduce you to my partn -“

“Mhm , that’s great Johnny … are you sure nobody saw you enter our house ?”

, Miss Ohnn asked , without even looking up from her phone .

“You’re right , Carol . What will the neighbors think if they see … that … inside our property ? They might start to think that we’re giving shelter to some strange creature , and that would be inconvenient …”

After hearing those words (y/n) stood up , unable to listen any further …

“Strange creature ? Are you serious ? That’s your son , Mister Ohnn ! You used to talk to him just a few months ago , you said you were proud of him for all his hard work at Alchemax and now you have the audacity to say something like that ? Right in front of him ?”

Everyone in the room now had their eyes pointed at them as they continued talking .

“This the same Jonathan you used to know , and just because his appearance changed you can’t just treat him like th -“

“(Y/n) , it’s okay …”

Jonathan had gotten up as well , gently putting his hand on their shoulder .

“Let’s just go .”

The two of them slowly headed towards the door , and before leaving he turned back to look at his parents one last time …

“Bye mom , bye dad … don’t worry , you won’t see me again .”

The late afternoon sun was starting to set as the two of them walked hand in hand back to (y/n)’s apartment .

“I’m sorry , I shouldn’t have reacted like that … it’s just - what your dad said … I couldn’t tolerate the way he was talking to you .”

Jonathan smiled softly to himself , squeezing their hand a little .

“There’s nothing to apologize for , honey … you’re always looking out for me , and I love you so much for that .

They were probably going to make us leave soon anyway .”

He then let out a sigh , his voice trembling slightly as he tried to go on …

“… I knew that this would end this way , that my parents weren’t going to accept that this is who I am now … but it just kinda hurt , y’know ?

They’re the only family I have left and they couldn’t even look at me for more than a few seconds .

I really do mean nothing to them …”

(Y/n) quietly listened to him , and when they finally stopped after reaching the apartment’s door they wrapped their arms around him , holding him in a loving hug .

“Well … you mean everything to me , Johnny . No matter what your parents think you’re definitely still someone worth loving , and believe me when I say that my life wouldn’t be the same without you in it .”

They looked up at him , gently caressing his cheek .

Jonathan wanted to say so many things in that moment … how much he appreciated them , how happy he was to have them in his life …

His arms surrounded their waist while he placed his forehead against theirs .

“God , I really don’t know what I’d do without you (y/n) …”

, he whispered , genuine adoration in his voice as he got lost into his partner’s beautiful eyes .

The two of them stood there for a few minutes , enjoying each other’s comforting warmth until finally (y/n) took out their house keys from their pocket and opened the door :

after such a stressful afternoon , all that Jonathan and (y/n) wanted to do was just lie down somewhere comfortable and rest in each other’s arms , forgetting about all their worries .

☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ . ☕️ .

Thank you so much for reading this little story until the end ! :D

Feel free to leave some feedback if you want to :) ❤️

#across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse x reader #atsv x you #atsv the spot #atsv x reader #the spot x reader #atsv #the spot #jonathan ohnn #jonathan ohnn x reader

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gamerwoo · 1 year

Text

Hyunjin: Age-Restricted (Part Two)

Characters: Hyunjin x female reader (ft the other skz members but minus jisung)

Genre/warnings: nanny!reader, boy next door/neighbor!hyunjin, virgin!reader, very bold and flirty!hyunjin and painfully shy!reader, fluff, some humor, mentions of poop (i mean reader’s a nanny, this is a given), it reader gets a lil turned on in some parts but nothing happens, implied that reader is tall (again, only one of the few times i mention reader’s appearance), reader has anxiety and second guesses herself a lot lmao, minors dni!!!

Word count: 6,116

Summary: You think it’s luck when the new family you nanny for is so stupid rich that they rent you a fancy new apartment just so you can live closer to them. You think it’s luck when the guy across the hall is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your entire life and makes an effort to talk to you. But that’s just about where your luck runs out, because Hyunjin is more out of your league than you could ever imagine, and you’re just some hopeless virgin who never had good luck in the first place.

tag list: @hyuneyeon @ack-aashi [be added to the taglist by filling out this form!]

permanent tag list (italics are unable to tag): @minluvly @awkwardnesshabitat @woozarts @septicrebel @4kwp @thepencilkorner @shmooooo @bubblelixie @byunhoebaek @dejavernon @ahandfulofkeys @slut-for-dabi

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You marched up the stairs of the house, knowing exactly where Seojoon was hiding. This kid was so easy, it almost seemed stupid that his parents would pay you as much as they were on top of paying for your apartment. Then again, they asked you to clean up the house when you could, so that was another task that made up for how much you made.

“Jesus, how big is this house?!” Minho gasped from your phone that you were holding at face-level.

“Move your fat head, I wanna see,” Seungmin demanded before shoving the older boy’s head out of the way and poking his own head into frame.

“How can you even tell?” you asked. “I’ve just been showing my face.”

“I can see the background.”

“Hardly.”

“Yeah, because you’ve got a fat head, too,” Seungmin quipped with a wide grin like he was oh-so proud of himself.

You sharply shushed him, “I don’t need Seojoon picking that up and calling his parents fat heads when they get home.”

You walked down the hall, knowing exactly where you were going. Spending three weeks with the kid, you figured he’d at least keep you on your toes a little. A toddler would be more exciting, right? But not Seojoon – not that he was boring. But Seojoon had his patterns and he stuck to them. It made taking care of him easy, at least. And he liked you because you always seemed to know exactly what he wanted and when.

Finally, you made it to Seojoon’s room. You pushed open his door that was already left cracked, the light turned on. You held a finger to your lips, telling your friends to be quiet on the video call as a smile broke onto your face slowly. You got down on your knees by his bed and carefully wrapped your fingers around the bottom of his sheets that hung over his bed. And then you ripped them up, letting out a yell.

Seojoon, who hid underneath the bed, began squealing and giggling.

“C’mon, bud,” you told him after he’d calmed down, “let me check your butt.”

“That’s a sentence I’d be scared to hear,” Minho mumbled.

“Who’s that?” Seojoon asked.

“My friends,” you replied. “They missed me.”

“No, you’re my friend,” he corrected with a giggle.

You feigned a pout, “What, I don’t have any other friends?”

“No!” he continued to giggle at the same time your two friends deadpanned, “No.”

“Alright, enough from the peanut gallery,” you decided before ending your call with your friends. You turned your attention fully to Seojoon. “Did you go potty in your pull-ups?”

“Nope!” he grinned proudly.

You narrowed your eyes, “Are you sure?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Can I check?”

“...Noooo…”

You let out a sigh, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. C’mon, let’s change you.”

At least you were settling into habit. You were getting used to coming home to your new apartment, and becoming familiar with the people you’d occasionally pass in the lobby or on your floor – you especially liked the nice freckled boy who typically worked the front desk during the nights. The first time he’d seen you coming home from work, he stopped you.

“You’re new, aren’t you?” he asked with a deep voice that took you by surprise considering how young and…fluffy he looked. “I know pretty much everyone in the building.”

You nodded, “I’m in room 805.”

“Oh, the nanny!” he grinned, and you thought the way his face lit up was cute. “Yeah, that couple showed up to put down the first few months' rent, and they told us it was for their nanny. We kept making fun of them for how boujee they sounded. You’re kinda popular with the bellboys now.”

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. You also got a pretty nice room – some good neighbors up there.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Well, I’m Felix if you ever need anything. I usually work nights, though, so don’t need anything during the day. Jerry sucks.”

Jerry did, in fact, suck, you learned quickly. You tried to greet him the morning after meeting Felix, only to be met with a grumble as he continued to stare down at his desk.

“_____!” Felix greeted you with a warm smile when you entered the lobby. “How was work?”

You made a face, holding up the garbage bag you held in your hand that only contained one thing: your sweatshirt. His eyebrows furrowed as he cocked his head to one side like a confused puppy, not understanding why you had a garbage bag in your hand with seemingly nothing in it.

“Blowout,” you stated.

“What?” he asked.

“A one-year-old shit so much it came out of his diaper and his clothes.”

His eyes widened as he let out a gasp, “What?”

“But I didn’t wear a shirt under my hoodie, so I had to text his mom and ask to borrow something from her closet,” you continued, annoyance in your tone. You weren’t necessarily mad at Hajoon – he was literally one, it wasn’t his fault – just at the situation. “Unfortunately, she only buys like, Gucci and shit, so.”

“That’s a bad thing?” he questioned.

“I cannot explain to you the anxiety I feel wearing her expensive clothing, like I could ruin it at any minute and get fired.”

He chuckled, “Well, lucky for you, we have in-house dry cleaning. Send it down when you get changed and I’ll have Jeongin get on it.”

“Thanks, Lix,” you sighed as you made your way to the elevator, praying that you would be the only one in it all the way up to the eighth floor.

“Okay,” you whisper to yourself before taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out.

Gucci shirt was being dry cleaned, you were out of your leggings that may or may not have also gotten poop on them – but what were you going to do, ask to borrow Mrs. Park’s pants, too? – and your makeup was taken off for the night. Now you just had to figure out what to do with your sweatshirt. Should you try to salvage it or should you throw it out?

Well, you’d already lost one sweatshirt to a blowout before, and you really didn’t want to lose another. Plus, this one was one of your cozier ones, so if you could wash the poop out, then you’d prefer that route than just tossing it. So you took your trash bag that you’d left by the door, and you opened the door to go to the laundry room.

Except there was something – or rather, someone – in front of your door with their fist up, ready to knock.

“Oh!” you both said in surprise at the same time.

“Sorry, _____” Hyunjin’s startled expression melted into a smile. His eyes drifted down to the white bag that you held in your fist, and his nose crinkled for a moment. “Taking out trash? Not a lot.”

“Uhhhhhh, yeah,” you decided to say, figuring trying to explain you were going to throw your poopy sweatshirt in the wash was not only going to make you seem disgusting, but was also not something that sounded great. How did you explain to someone that you got human feces on your clothes?

Especially when you had a crush on them and wanted them to like you back.

Hyunjin stayed true to his word about being your friend. While you were too shy and intimidated to say anything to him at first, he always went out of his way to at least say hi when he saw you passing him by in the hall, or wish you a good day when he saw you leaving the lobby, or hold the door if he saw you going for the elevator he was in. And so you slowly started saying hi to him first, but that was really where your ‘friendship’ – if that – ended. So him knocking on your door was something that hadn’t happened since you moved in.

But at least you were getting more comfortable around him. Progress was progress, you supposed -- or at least, that’s what Chan always told you.

“So, what’s up?” you asked him.

“So, um…” he began slowly, eyebrows furrowing together but looking like he wanted to laugh at himself, “this might be a weird request, but like… Okay, you’ve colored your hair before, right?”

“Like, did it myself or just in general?”

“Yourself.”

“A couple times,” you shrugged. “It wasn’t good because I can’t see the back of my head, but, yeah.”

“No, that’s fine!” he said quickly as if he thought you’d change your mind. “I was just wondering if you’d maybe help me with bleaching my hair…?”

You had to reply quickly or he’d think you were weird, so you didn’t have the time to sit there and wonder why he would ask you and not literally anyone else. He had to have friends he could ask. Hell, you’d sooner call up Chan and have him drive his ass to your apartment to kill a spider than walk across the hall and whine to Hyunjin.

But also, who were you to question a perfectly good opportunity to not only be around Hyunjin and talk to him, but actually physically interact with him. Running your fingers through his hair? Yes please.

You shrugged and offered up a smile, trying to seem like you weren’t bubbling with nerves, “Yeah, sure!”

“Cool, we can do it at my place if you want,” he offered, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb to his door he’d left slightly ajar. “I don’t want bleach getting on any of your stuff.”

Could Hyunjin hear your heart slamming against your chest? He was inviting you into his apartment? The last time you were alone with a boy that you had a crush on was when you still lived at home and went to your sister’s house for a cookout and you and one of her friends had to sit in the living room together because both of you were waiting for the bathroom. And you didn’t say a word to him, you just pretended to be on your phone the whole time. S to say you were nervous now was an understatement.

“Yeah, let me just…” you trailed off, realizing you didn’t actually know what to do with the sweatshirt, so you just kind of tossed it by the door before stepping out into the hall with Hyunjin.

“Smooth,” he chuckled before he led you across the hall to his apartment.

You figured his place would be almost exactly like yours, but you quickly realized it was so much nicer. Everything was a perfect stark white that was a beautiful contrast to the jet black accents, which was similar to your apartment. However, his had an upstairs, the loft of which hung over part of the kitchen/living area. He had large art pieces hanging on the walls, making it seem like some rich big shot lived there — which he may have been for all you knew.

“C’mon, we can use the bathroom upstairs,” he told you, leading you around the corner to the staircase.

“You have an upstairs bathroom…?” you asked quietly, mostly to yourself as you followed him up the steps.

“The apartments on the left side are a little more…more,” he explained, turning his head to talk to you over his shoulder.

“Oh…” was all you replied with.

Reaching the top of the stairs, he completely turned to you, continuing to walk backwards toward the destination, “I don’t really need this much space since it’s just me, but I have a lot of stuff, y’know? Plus, I felt like I had more freedom to decorate this like I wanted. I wanted it to feel more like…me, I guess.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” you shrugged. “I like my apartment, but it does seem kind of plain right now. I couldn’t take a lot of my stuff when I moved out of my mom’s because I had three other roommates in an apartment made for only three people, so when I moved here, I couldn’t really decorate a ton.”

He frowned slightly, “Why not go get your stuff from your mom’s?”

“I’d rather not,” you stated, making a slightly sour face.

Hyunjin chuckled with a nod, “Yeah, I feel that.”

Then he turned back around just in time to push open a door ahead of him at the end of the hall.

Inside, the scent hit you and smelled intoxicating and expensive. It was warm and spicy but still smelled clean and fresh with a hint of vanilla. There was a large bed with silk black bedding, even more artwork, a t-shirt or two laying on the carpeted floor, and two large mirrors — a standing one opposite the bed, and one on the ceiling hanging above it. There was a dresser on either side of the room as well, that faced the bed. You assumed it was Hyunjin’s room. But you didn’t get to look around much because he walked by the end of the bed to another door on the same wall and opened that one.

Through this door was a large bathroom that had a separate bathtub from the shower. It was a large clawfoot tub, with a spacious shower taking up the entire back of the bathroom, blocked off by frosted glass. His counter where the sink was took up most of the length of the wall, with the mirror being equally as big.

“Your bathroom is massive,” you commented, hearing your own voice echo back to you.

He chuckled, “Yeah, I guess so. If you ever wanna come over to use it, just let me know.”

You definitely saw him toss you a wink over his shoulder, but for some reason, you chalked it up to some kind of twitch. Some of the dads you’d met had a weird habit of winking a couple times when they spoke to you, so maybe he was the same. Maybe it was just a…man thing. But still, you weren’t sure how to respond, even if it wasn’t intended as suggestive as your brain made it out to be, feeling your cheeks heat up a bit. You wanted to say something while he opened the plastic bag that sat on the counter, beginning to read the directions of how to mix the bleach, but everything you came up with was either boring, stupid, or just had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

“Do you know how to do this?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed as he looked over the large, unfolded piece of paper.

“Is it a 1:1 ratio or 1:2?” you asked, looking in his direction instead of pretending to continue to admire the bathroom.

“Uhhh…” he trailed off, seemingly unsure. Then he passed the paper to you. “I’ve never done this, I’ve always had it done.”

You took the paper and scanned it over. Ratio, processing time, yada-yada. Then you looked back over at Hyunjin, your eyes flickering to the counter and then back at him, “Do you have gloves?”

“Yup.”

Then your eyes drifted down toward his shirt, taking note of the grey Off White brand t-shirt he was wearing, eyebrows pulling together as you narrowed your eyes, looking back up at his face, “What about a shirt you don’t care about?”

Hyunjin looked down at his shirt, holding out the hem and taking a moment to look it over before looking back up at you, “What’s wrong with this?”

You opened your mouth, wanting to ask him if he was crazy. You wanted to ask him how goddamn rich he was that he’d bleach a shirt that was over $300. But instead you closed your mouth, not wanting to upset him when this was the first time you were hanging out with him.

“Nothing,” you told him. “How did you wanna do this…?”

He shrugged, “You can reach.”

“It’s still more convenient if you’re sitting and I can see your entire head.”

“I can kneel,” he said almost happily.

And before you could tell him how uncomfortable that would get, Hyunjin got down on both knees in front of you, resting on the plush bath mat that rested in front of the counter. He looked up at you, blinking with a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips, and wide, innocent eyes.

But you wondered if he knew how badly your face heated up and how your heart thumped in your chest because he was on his knees and so close to your literal crotch that it made you want to pass out. Because as you felt yourself internally panicking, you were pretty sure Hyunjin’s smile was growing, reaching his eyes until they turned into crescent moons.

“Th-that’ll be like, really uncomfortable,” you told him, trying to keep your casual composure even though you wanted to explode. Your eyes were looking anywhere but down at him, because you just simply couldn’t hold eye contact with that man. But thankfully, it gave you an idea since your eyes were wandering and landed on the clawfoot tub. “You can sit in front of the tub on the floor, and I’ll sit on the edge.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a better idea,” he agreed with a smile that seemed…strange. It was like he already thought of it and was waiting for you to say something.

‘You’re going insane,’ you told yourself. ‘Fucking relax, idiot.’

Hyunjin stood and walked over to the tub, while you began mixing the bleach. He sat down on the edge, and you could feel his stare piercing your back – or maybe you were imagining it, you weren’t sure. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

Yup, definitely wishful thinking. Because when you turned back around, he was typing on his phone, dark hair hiding his face like a curtain.

But you also might’ve seen him look down at his phone at the right second.

Or you were gaslighting yourself into thinking you saw that because you wanted him to be staring.

‘Can you stop and get on with this already? He’s gonna think you’re crazy.’

“Ready?” you asked him to get his attention.

His head snapped up as he smiled, “Yup!”

You sat down on the edge of the tub, and Hyunjin sat down in front of your legs, back toward you. He immediately settled back against your knees, but this still wasn’t as convenient as you would’ve liked.

“Um,” you shifted your legs apart, “could you move back a little?”

“‘Course,” he replied, wiggling until he had moved back and was now sitting against the tub instead.

You prayed he couldn’t hear how hard your heart was beating in your chest at the way he intimately sat. Hell, you were praying that you didn’t like, smell funny or something. Of course, your brain always came up with the dumbest things to be self-conscious about, so you tried to push those thoughts to the back of your head and tried to focus on bleaching Hyunjin’s hair.

First, you combed through his hair with your fingers, wanting to get most of the possible tangles out. You heard Hyunjin hum softly, and your movements stuttered as you tried to not lose your shit. You felt tingling between your legs just at a fucking noise this dude made, and you were internally scolding yourself while also trying to get yourself to just fucking relax.

‘It’s just a hum. It wasn’t anything like, erotic. Chill, bitch.’

“This might be cold,” you warned as you got ready to put the bleach on his head.

All he did was hum in reply, but this hum was different, you told yourself. But it was true. This one was way more casual, and the other sounded relaxed and content, like maybe he liked the feeling of you playing with his hair…

‘Oh my god, stop it.’

You applied bleach to his dark hair for about a moment in silence, trying to steady your breathing and simply focus on just not melting the hair off of his head – though, maybe he’d look good bald…or like an egg.

“What kind of music do you listen to?” he wondered suddenly, and you could see over his shoulder that he was scrolling through Spotify on his phone. “I can play some music.”

“You pick,” you told him, eyes going back to your hands. “I’ll listen to anything.”

He sighed, and had he been facing you, you would’ve seen him roll his brown eyes, “Oh come on, every girl says that but they really won’t. There’s definitely things you don’t like.”

“Okay, um… Not a big classical fan, and I could never get on board with heavy metal.”

“Country?”

“Grew up with it, so I like the old stuff – except that one song. Fuck, it’s called uh… It’s by that Luke Bryan guy.”

“Ah, I know the one.”

“But don’t play it,” you told him before, for some god-forsaken reason, deciding to admit, “I will throw it back.”

Hyunjin let out a loud laugh, leaning forward away from you to turn around and look at you, “Seriously?”

You nodded, laughing along with him, “It’s just one of those songs. One of my old roommates used to get me drunk and then play it really loud in the kitchen. We got a lot of noise complaints.”

“Sounds worth it,” he was still chuckling as he went back to his original position. “So no Country Girl, got it. How do we feel about a throwback playlist?”

You shrugged, going back to work on his hair, “Sounds good.”

It didn’t take you too terribly long to coat his entire head in bleach. Then you put a cap on it and told him to sit for no more than 30 minutes.

“I’ll probably need some help toning it,” he said as he washed out the bowl and brush you used for bleach. “You mind sticking around?”

You shrugged, “I’ve got no plans tonight.”

He turned to look at you, placing the bowl and brush on the counter and flashing you a smile, “Well, now you do. Wanna start a movie or something?”

“What kind of movie?”

“You can pick whatever your heart desires.”

So you picked the movie. It was one you’d already seen already, and you were sure there were no scenes in it that would make anything awkward. But the problem was the sitting situation. You didn’t want to sit all the way on the other end of his couch because that seemed kind of rude. But you didn’t want to sit too close and be creepy. So you eventually just plopped down very un-gracefully about an arms length away from him, grabbing a throw pillow to hug tightly to your midsection before leaning back into the couch.

Thankfully, you were able to get absorbed into the movie mostly. It took a few minutes, but your mind eventually shut off and stopped worrying, and your thoughts were focused on the movie. It was a nice rest of not being hyper aware of only Hyunjin.

Well, until he shifted. He moved to cross one leg over the other, and threw his right arm across the back of the couch, his hand landing by your head.

Back to being hyper aware of only Hyunjin.

You tried not to make it too obvious that you were trying to steal a glance at him, but when you did finally turn your head ever so slightly to look at him, he was facing toward the TV, eyes focused – as far as you could tell, anyway. Maybe he was bored, you didn’t know.

Suddenly, Hyunjin turned his head ever so slightly to the right, side-eyeing you without changing his expression. You quickly averted your gaze, finding the TV in a split second, praying and hoping he didn’t notice you staring.

But what you didn’t notice was him silently smiling to himself and looking back at the TV.

You wondered if Hyunjin knew how to do anything. He asked you to bleach his hair, which was fine. But then he asked you to rinse the bleach out for him in the sink. Maybe he didn’t want to go lock himself in the bathroom to shower, leaving you alone in his apartment. But still, why couldn’t he just rinse it out himself in the sink?

Still, you did it. You weren’t complaining, you were just fighting the nerves and anxiety and butterflies.

Then you had to help him tone his hair, and again, rinse it. Then he asked you to grab his conditioner, so you conditioned Hyunjin’s bleached-blonde hair. You were pretty sure creepy men on TV shows when you were younger used to fantasize about being able to wash and condition pretty girls’ hair, so hey, you were living somebody’s dream. That was a win.

Hyunjin’s neck was still bent over the sink as he towel-dried his hair, scrunching it to get the water before messing it up with the towel.

“I hope you think it looks okay,” you let out a small, nervous laugh.

“Eh, it’ll look fine,” he said as he moved the towel to toss his head backwards, moving his hair from his eyes. “Can’t look worse than it has before.”

“What was the worst?” you wondered, still watching him from his right side as you both stood at the bathroom counter.

He continued to scrunch the ends of his hair, trying to get all of the water droplets that were falling, looking in the mirror at himself and his hair rather than at you, “I tried to go bright red and missed a big patch of roots at the back of my head.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you paused, trying to make sense of his story, “...But I thought you’d never dyed your hair before.”

That was when he finally looked at you, a smile on his lips that you’d give to your slow friend who finally got the joke and you wanted to pat them on the shoulder and make them feel like they weren’t stupid.

“I lied,” he admitted.

And that was when your heart dropped, but in a way you didn’t really expect. Because your mind immediately went to, ‘he’s a murderer!’

He must’ve seen the way your eyes widened – you really needed to learn how to control your facial expressions – and the way you eyed him, because he let out a laugh that sounded like your new favorite sound in the world. It just sounded so…happy and amused. Like, happier than you’d heard him sound before – not that you’ve really heard him actually laugh much.

“No, it’s nothing bad,” he explained. “I just– How else am I supposed to get a pretty girl to come to my apartment and play with my hair?”

You wanted to combust – maybe you were going to. Your face was rapidly heating up, and you weren’t really sure what your expression was doing but you were biting back a smile unsuccessfully, deciding to simply hide your face in both hands. You could hear Hyunjin laughing the same way he had just a moment ago, and then you felt warmth on your shoulders, his hands placed on them as he dipped his head to try and see some part of your burning face.

“Aw, don’t be so shy, _____!” he teased “I told you I think you’re pretty so now you’re going to hide from me? That’s not fair!”

You whined into your hands, the noise coming out muffled but still making Hyunjin continue that beautiful laugh as he smoothed your hair back that had fallen in front of your hands that still covered your face.

“You’re...really...bold…” you said very un-boldly into your hands.

“Only because I’m pretty sure I know where you stand with me,” he chuckled.

Another loud whine that only made Hyunjin wrap his arms around you, holding you to him. God, you wanted to die then and there. Did he not realize this was making your butterflies worse?

“How?!”

He shrugged, “I’ve gotten pretty good at reading people over the years.”

“‘Over the years’? You’re talking like you’re some old man; you’re like, my age!”

You felt him move slightly away from you, keeping one arm around your waist while the one that rubbed your back moved away. You felt him trying to get between your arms and your chin to put his hand there, trying to guide your head up.

“Will you look at me already?” he asked in a murmur, his playful tone now so soft and almost gravely. It was a contrast, that was for sure, and it made you feel…a lot.

What made you feel even more was how he looked at you. His brown eyes bore into yours, faces inches apart. You could almost feel his breath fanning against your lips as you stared back and tried to control yourself internally. But you knew what was coming, and you knew what would happen after that.

As much as you wanted Hyunjin to kiss you like you were pretty sure he was going to, you knew what always happened. You knew it would be a lot – not just for you, but probably him – and that it would be very, very embarrassing. You also knew that it would probably effectively scare Hyunjin away, which you didn’t want.

But you also couldn’t find it in yourself to say no. You’d never been good at doing that, always wanting to be a people pleaser. You were never one to stick up for yourself or much of anything, really. So when Hyunjin leaned in ever so slightly, eyes flicking to your lips and then back to your eyes, you just tried to tell yourself to relax and absolutely not panic. But with the anxiety warming the pit of your stomach, and the way your hands trembled against his shoulders, you already knew that it was going to be a rough start, anyway.

Buzz.

A soft vibration against your thigh made you jump, but it didn’t seem to phase Hyunjin at all. He continued to hold your chin gently in his hand, keeping your gaze locked.

Buzz.

Someone was definitely calling you.

Hyunjin broke into a smirk, “You might want to get that.”

He dropped his hand and went back to drying his hair like nothing had happened, leaving you frozen for a second as you stared at the space Hyunjin used to be in front of you. You tried to get your heart to calm down and the feeling in your stomach to subside. But you also probably looked like a moron still just standing there, so you finally slid a hand into the pocket of your biker shorts to retrieve your phone.

Chan.

“Hey,” you answered the phone in a breath.

“Hey, I– Are you okay?” he asked. “You sound stressed.”

You glanced at Hyunjin, but he either couldn’t actually hear your friend on the phone, or he wasn’t showing that he could.

“I-I’m okay,” you replied, though you were not. You still felt nervous and shaky, like you’d just gotten off of a rollercoaster. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to play some Smash with me,” he said cheerily. “It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to really talk to you and I miss you.”

“Um, y-yeah, we can play. Just let me finish something real quick and I’ll call you back.”

“Awesome, I’ll see you in a bit!”

You hung up and put your phone back in your pocket.

“Roommates?” he guessed.

He definitely could hear.

“Yea–” you paused, thinking of something suddenly. “How did you know I’m not with someone? That could’ve been my boyfriend for all you know.”

He playfully rolled his eyes before turning to face you, “Well, if my girlfriend stared at some guy the entire time they were watching a movie, I’d be pretty pissed.”

Well, that effectively shut you up. All you could do was stand there and look at him, then down at the ground, then at the open bathroom door.

You looked back at Hyunjin and announced very bluntly but still quietly, “I have to go.”

“I figured,” he chuckled with a nod. “I’ll walk you out.”

So he did. He walked you all the way to the front door of your apartment, waiting for you to unlock the door. And then you turned back to face him, only to see him leaning against your doorframe with a casual smirk on his face that made that frenzy begin inside you again.

You wanted him to kiss you so bad, but you didn’t want to deal with the consequences or the aftermath.

“So will you actually reach out to me this time?” he asked, quirking a brow.

‘Well now that I know you think I’m pretty, maybe I will.’

“Maybe I will,” you smirked right back at him.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he winked before backing up. “Have fun with your friend.”

“Goodnight, Hyunjin.”

“Goodnight, _____.”

You closed the door and let yourself settle on cloud 9 for a moment. The hot neighbor thought you were pretty and openly hit on you. You might just have a shot despite what you thought.

‘But,’ you reminded yourself, ‘just because he thinks you’re pretty doesn’t mean he wants anything more than sex.’

Which was the harsh reality of ‘dating’ as an adult. Sex was nothing to a lot of people. Sex was something you did just once with someone or even on the first date with someone you were interested in being with. And it wasn’t that sex really meant much to you, it was just…you weren’t comfortable with it yet. And you were scared of having to explain that to Hyunjin because what if that was all he wanted? What if he thought you were a baby for still being a virgin? What if this, what if that?

Your phone vibrating in your pocket pulled you from your panic.

Christopher 🦘🧡: Reminder that we’re playing together

Christopher 🦘🧡: I assume you’re still easily forgetful lol

You were. Some things just unfortunately never change, and your memory was one of two things that you were feeling hopeless about changing anytime soon.

“You seriously bleached your hair?” Changbin sighed. “Why?”

Hyunjin shrugged, holding his phone at an angle so his friend could see him on their video call. He was honestly wishing he didn’t even answer Changbin’s call since he clearly was judging his choices, but he needed to tell someone about how he was feeling, and Changbin was basically his only friend, “I needed an excuse to have _____ hang out with me, and she seems too shy to go for me outright asking her to watch a movie randomly or something.”

“Is that the girl who moved in across the hall?” Changbin asked before shaking his head and closing his eyes. “Seriously dude, what’s gotten into you? You hardly know this girl and you’re bleaching your hair just to talk to her.”

Hyunjin’s cheeks were beginning to turn pink as he narrowed his eyes at his phone, “Alright, hear me out, okay?”

“‘She’s different, I can sense it’, I know. You’ve said it like, 15 times since you’ve met her.”

“Well it’s true! And you know I’ve never been wrong about my reads on people.”

Even though he knew the younger man was right, Changbin still sighed again, rolling his eyes, “Just because she hardly speaks to you doesn’t mean she’s ‘different’.”

“Well she clearly doesn’t know who I am, and she’s also just so… I don’t know, she’s not really like what I’m used to. She keeps to herself, she’s not bold or outright – I like it. So sue me for trying to pursue this.”

What, was he just supposed to ignore the cute, shy girl across the hall when he could try to, at the very least, make another friend that wasn’t the bellhops who worked nights?

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t go after her if you want to, I’m just saying it seems like a lot to fry your hair over a girl you’ve hardly spoken to the last month.”

“Well, jokes on you, because I made a move,” Hyunjin sang, sticking his tongue out at his friend, “and she liked it. So we’ll be talking a lot more…I hope…”

Changbin chuckled, “I am happy for you, man. Let me know how things go.”

“You’re always the first to know.”

#k-labels #hyunjin #stray kids #stray kids smut #hyunjin smut #stray kids au #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #stray kids fic #stray kids series #stray kids x reader #hyunjin au #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin scenario #hyunjin fic #hyunjin x reader

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swordsmans · 1 year

Text

a lengthy breakdown of why ch. 878 is one of the best luffy moments in the entire series (to me)

question: favorite luffy moment?

oooomg it would have to be the scene in ch. 878 immediately after pedro's death--when luffy 1) snaps the crew out of their grief because they're in danger, 2) comes up with an extremely efficient escape plan for his crew 3) comes up with an extremely efficient plan to deal with katakuri 4) snaps the crew out of their grief again 5) gets the crew to execute their escape 6) executes his own plan (+ bonus moment in 880/881 because it's technically the "end" of this scene).

this whole moment on the ship is the Captain Of The Straw Hat Pirates moment for me. hang on, i'm gonna include manga caps because i dont think ive ever talked about the way the dialogue is set up in this scene before and im stealing this opportunity lmao

like, we almost never see luffy really engage with his role as captain and leader in a traditional sense--yes, he's captain, but in most arcs he fits the "The Big Guy" role more than the leader, and often the broader captain-ish duties fall to other characters (e.g. planning and executing strategy outside of battle, mostly). like, half of the entire joke in both dressrosa and wano is that luffy doesn't plan (even though we, the readers, know that he does) and yet in WCI he not only showcases his skills as a leader but does so flawlessly.

(for context, "The Big Guy" is basically the trope of like... the most powerful person, the one you know is always going to win/solve any problem by the end of it--the character who's going to fight the biggest bad in a story and who often can't deal with "little" problems within a story because it would undermine the internal logic of a story's power-scaling. i have many thoughts on The Big Guy and i think one piece is one of the few series that does it well, along with spyxfamily re: yor... but i digress.)

so here's where i think the "moment" starts in ch. 878. for a refresher, in ch. 877 luffy+co reach the sunny, fine chopper/brook encased in candy, katakuri attacks, big mom attacks, the sunny gets stuck in candy, and then pedro sacrifices himself. at this point in time, luffy+co have been on the ship for all of a few seconds--in 877, nami is trying to set up a coup de burst and explain how it works to jinbei at the same time, luffy is holding off katakuri, but nothing is really happening. when pedro sacrifices himself no one knows what his plan is so they don't have time to incorporate it into their escape strategy (which is basically nonexistent at this point). then--wham! pedro is down, the candy breaks, and there's a split-second of decision time that luffy jumps on, which brings us to 878

everyone is shocked and grieving, their tentative set-up is completely derailed, and luffy immediately takes charge--starting with "can we fly, nami?!"

he addresses nami as the navigator/in charge of the physical ship itself a this point (+ she set up the coup de burst in 877), then addresses the crew as a whole in "let's set sail, people!!"--like, the way this is phrased sets him apart slightly as someone with the authority to speak to the group as a whole; he's getting everyone's attention. then his declaration!!! "if we waste this moment... then we throw away his sacrifice!!"

he's completely taking charge of the situation and focusing on getting the rest of the crew to safety. it is his job as captain to look out for the whole, so he doesn't waste a second--which is so incredible, because we know luffy is emotional, that's his whole thing. he's incredibly emotionally-driven and emotionally-intelligent, but during this entire scene he is being emotionally driven to protect his crew, which in turn gives time for his (often-overlooked) intelligence and pragmatism to shine.

once he has everyone's attention as a group, he goes back to addressing crew members individually--which i think is really important because that's, like, literally what you do in a crisis when you're taking charge. you get everyone on the same page, then you single people out so no one feels lost or unmoored--everyone has something to do, everyone feels included in the solution in some way.

in these two pages alone, he addresses nami, chopper, and brook individually, and then jinbei responds (so he's also participating individually). i think the fact that carrot is excluded here also kind of supports this whole thing, because carrot isn't technically a straw hat--luffy isn't her captain, even though she's under his protection at this point. here, he's ordering his crew in his capacity as a leader.

and then, of course, there's the moment:

yes, he's talking to katakuri here, but he's also on the sunny's deck screaming--and his address to the crew doesn't have a distinct "end point" from a dialogue perspective, he just gets cut off when katakuri attacks carrot. here, i think he's declaring this as much to katakuri as the straw hats themselves. i think the "end" of this whole scene in 880/881 when he reassures the crew (after holding the fucking mirror shards in his mouth--god this whole scene is just so good) that everything will be fine supports this, too, because that feels like the end of the crew address to me. but i'll get there.

now that he has the crew on track to execute their own escape (by giving them step by step orders to do so, basically), he tackles the katakuri problem. at this point, he's already figured out what to do, because he's gearing up for the elephant gun grip that he uses to pull katakuri into the mirror world, and he doesn't tell anyone else his plan because it's his responsibility as captain to take care of the crew (as opposed to just his responsibility as The Big Guy to take out the strongest enemy, which--if we were just adhering to The Big Guy trope, i think he would have shouted his plan along with everything else. basically authority [no one needs to know my plan because it's my responsibility to handle it and i know i will] vs. equality [im the strongest but we're all in this together so here's what im going to do], and he's authority.)

then we get another crew address, this time starting individually then talking to the group. they see the shadow--they realize pedro has died but perospero has survived--nami is seconds from absolutely spiraling again (just look at that panel of her, oh my god). further proof that luffy is the most emotionally intelligent character in the entire series, luffy immediately redirects everyone's attention a second time, focusing them away from their grief again and onto their own escape again.

since this is, like, a second wave of grief/horror, he starts with the individual address--snapping everyone out of it directly because a whole-crew address might not cut it and he needs to include carrot, here.

then mid-address, he grabs brulee and starts executing his katakuri takedown plan. his focus here is entirely on keeping his crew safe in the most efficient way possible, and in two pages we get: assessing the situation (grief 2) -> solving the immediate problem (the escape plan starts to derail, everyone needs to snap back out of it) -> solving the next problem (katakuri) -> inspiring them to carry on because he's about to leave.

(seriously. i cannot overstate how great the brulee grab mid-dialogue is in the broader context of this scene. seriously.)

(also, the way the group -> individual -> individual -> group address works in this whole scene feels like such a beautiful closed dialogue loop... even on a structural level it's designed to have the biggest possible impact. love u oda.)

then, of course, we have the culmination of this whole thing--the mirror smash. with ruthless efficiency, he not only isolates the biggest immediate threat (katakuri) but also the character who poses the biggest danger to the crew's escape--brulee. all three of them have been completely separated from his crew, and now he can both keep an eye on brulee and the mirrors (which is most of 880/881), the "intelligence" part of the plan, and confront katakuri directly, the "battle" part of the plan.

also, the decision to isolate katakuri works both ways here--he's not only protecting the crew from katakuri as an enemy, but he's also protecting the crew from their fight. we see in subsequent chapters that the katakuri fight absolutely decimates the mirror world. if they were to face off anywhere near the sunny, people would get hurt. if katakuri were to escape, not only could he harm the crew but luffy would have to give chase and bring the fight back to katakuri, wherever he ends up (attacking the crew). i fully believe the decision to isolate brulee shows that he's aware of this--their fight has to stay in the mirror world, because the only way he'll win is by operating at full power and his full power is destructive.

also--this moment is just really cool, okay? it's so, so cool.

honorable mention to the rest of this "scene" as it's continued in the next few chapters, specifically the way this whole thing culminates--luffy holding the last mirror shards in his mouth to make sure he can communicate his final reassurances to the crew without the risk of those shards falling into enemy hands.

to me, this is as solidly and completely an "i'm the captain of this ship!" moment as the declaration itself, and every time i think about it for more than 0.2 seconds i start to go crazy. but. it it technically a different "moment" (and is also extremely self-explanatory) so i won't go into it here.

also, side note because this didn't fit anywhere--i think this scene not only stands on its own as one of luffy's most badass moments but also works as a really amazing example of his character growth--particularly compared to scenes like the usopp fight in water 7 (different scenario technically because usopp isn't an enemy, but it is one of the premier moments when he struggles with the burden of being captain).

anyway, sorry this got stupid long *jazz hands*

#one piece #luffy #op analysis #i dont know if i have any kind of tag for this stuff actually #since i almost never do anything like this outside of dms #however... this is also a perfect example of why i DONT rlly do analysis outside the dms... because it's stupid long #gyro.txt

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

Note

AITA for not responding to someone in rp?

📝 <- to recognize

Also disclaimer this is about to be a very low stakes problem about a very small rp server between friends. If you don’t care then don’t read it’s fine 😂 I just want opinions over something I have some anxiety about. Everyone is in the same age range of about 24-26

Ok, so: basically what it says on the tin, I’m in a small rp server that has nothing to do with fandoms it’s just OCs, mostly dnd stuff. It’s just between me and a couple friends, there has been no serious drama whatsoever and it’s very nice!

We recently added a new member (I’ll call him Blue) who doesn’t have a lot of characters yet, but the handful he does have are… well. Practically all the same character. They have different backstories but all the same personality, which is to say they have none.

Every character of his is entirely neutral all the time, but not as some sort of comedy bit, just as… they are all very Prim And Proper, very intelligent, very unwilling to react to anything at all. No strong emotions about anything even when faced with something extreme like a villain or even a non-evil crazy event. We like to have fun and throw wild dangerous or just funny circumstances at our characters, yet his characters essentially always go 😐 “Well. That happened. Anyways.” And brush it all off… unless Blue thinks he can be The Savior of the day. But if he can’t just shut down the whole event, then his characters go back to being totally checked out and uncaring about any of it. He explains this saying that they’re all used to this kind of thing (though their backstories do say otherwise) and one of them is a god so he especially doesn’t need to react to things.

None of this is really the end of the world, it just makes interacting with his characters very difficult for me and a few others. For instance if I throw a villain in for the day, it’s… kinda hard to actually pose a threat when you have a handful of characters just standing there reacting like they’re on The Office. Similarly it’s harder to form emotional connections between characters if one oc pours their heart out and the other says “Well I’m sorry for your experiences” and brings nothing else to the table. There have been a couple instances as well where my friends and I worry that we’ve upset Blue with how our characters react, but like, if one of ours is a naturally rude and antagonistic person, they are going to be rude and antagonistic. Nobody else has a problem with this bc we all do it for variety and sometimes it’s fun to have a little oc drama! But Blue will have his characters react in a slightly guilt trippy way and then just go silent, sometimes explaining or even complaining out of character that their oc was Just Joking or similar. He hasn’t expressed being upset to us and nobody has had an argument about any of this, but the vibes end up feeling… off.

All of this just makes it hard to interact with Blue’s characters. They’re all The Same, they don’t really involve themselves with the rp in a way that garners reaction, and personally I overthink and worry about possibly upsetting him since we’ve all seen how weird things feel after 1 Antagonist Character says 1 Antagonistic Thing. So if I respond to his characters, I tend to respond more blandly than I do with others. Similarly, he has taken to proposing hypothetical ideas about rp and character interaction and then when I don’t immediately have a good response, he tags me and asks how my characters would react to his. I try my best to respond, really, but because there’s nothing there to bounce off of… it’s hard to come up with a good response! And if the response isn’t good enough Blue seems disappointed with it and just drops the whole idea altogether. This is mainly what fuels my anxiety about it, thinking that I’m not doing good enough while also not being given anything good to work with either.

To be clear I do not think he is being an asshole, At least not on purpose. I think there’s a lot of factors that could explain this and it’s honestly not a crime to just not be “good” at rp. What I’m wanting opinions on is should I be trying harder?? I worry that my effort has been affected by a growing distaste for his characters. He’s a lovely person, I have no beef with him lol, but I think it’s gotten clear that I respond more enthusiastically to the others. It’s not intentional, but it’s what happens bc I feel bad ignoring him altogether especially when he tags me specifically for a reaction. I also don’t know if the classic “omfg just communicate” response is very applicable because honestly I think I WOULD be the asshole for messaging him and saying “hey it’s not that I don’t like you it’s just that your characters are not fun to interact with, fix that!” Even in nicer terms than that haha cause in general offering unsolicited constructive criticism even with the kindest intentions is seen as a bad move.

So… AITA for not responding to Blue as much or as enthusiastically as I do for my other friends? Should I be faking it til I make it or does it not need to be an issue until it becomes one?

TLDR: new member of a small rp server joined and all his characters seem to have no personality and are all the same Perfect Intellectual type. There hasn’t been any serious problem but it is hard to interact with them and I am tending to lean toward bland responses bc I don’t feel like I have anything to work with here. Should I be trying harder or is it not a problem until it’s brought up?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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thefangirlfever · 5 months

Text

The first time (a Miguel O'hara NSFW fanfiction, 18+)

Summary : Reader and Miguel have their first time together.

Tags : NSFW, F/M, afab reader, trans character (FTM), cunnilingus, scissoring, fingering, slight mention of gender dysphoria, top surgery scars, squirting, fluff, first time, soft Miguel, mention of IST screening (stay safe and enjoy)

Word count: 3 323 words

Note: I really appreciate people creating more content about trans characters, including Miguel. As a cisgender woman, I tried my best writing this story. Feel free to tell me if I made any mistake or if you think that some parts may be offending toward transgender people.

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This was slowly turning into something more serious than a simple make-out session and you could tell it by the way your body was reacting. Miguel’s arms were wrapped tightly around your waist while you sat on his lap. What started as an innocent peck on the cheek has turned into a more heated kiss and now you were practically eating one another. None of you wanted to break the kiss and you were practically fighting for air as Miguel’s tongue caressed your lips and the inside of your mouth. One of his hands has been toying with the hem of your shirt for a few minutes already as if he was hesitating. You decided to break the kiss and give him one knowing look.

“Is something bothering you, Miguel?”

He kept looking at you under his long lashes and you could see in his eyes the internal fight that was taking place in his mind. You both wanted to take this moment to the next level and at the same time, something was stopping him. He cautiously looked for his words before answering in a whisper:

“Everything’s alright.”

He then pulled you closer until your foreheads were touching. Your breaths synced up in a slow and steady rhythm. His hand lifted up the fabric of your shirt as small goosebumps bloomed over your skin. When your shirt fell to the floor, you resumed kissing each other. The kiss was slow and you took your time exploring one another. It was not your first time kissing each other but you were still exploring cautiously your lover’s body, especially those sensuous lips of his. Miguel’s hands caressed your sides, his fingertips brushing against your ribs and drawing small circles over them. He took his time counting your ribs, locating every spots and marks on your body, memorizing them with his touch. His thumbs lazily slid up and down your abdomen before resting under your chest. Miguel looked into your eyes and he brushed away a strand of hair from your face. With one shy smile, he began to toy with the strap of your bra, not pulling it yet.

It was not your first time kissing but this would be taking things to a next level. You’ve been dating for almost a year now, slept together multiple times and yet nothing had happened between the two of you. It’s not that you didn’t want it, in fact you wanted it, probably as much as Miguel wanted it if not more.

But you know what was stopping him. You’ve been talking about it already quite a few times together, reassuring him… but what changed everything was how you helped him, always standing by his side during his transition, in the happiest but also the hardest time. You were the only one by his side when everyone left, including some of his family members, even friends, but most importantly you were the first one to call him by his name, the one he had chosen, Miguel. And he could never thank you enough for your help and your support. What was even more important was that you never did it out of pity. You still desired him after all this time and still looked at him in the same way.

And it was even more striking in this moment. You were still looking at one another, your gaze locked with his while your hands caressed the side of his face. Miguel’s lips kissed the palm of your hand, nuzzling his face into your hand with his eyes closed.

“Do you want to do this?”, he asked you in a whisper. His lips moved against the pulp of your hand, tickling you in the way. Your smile widened as he asked you this question. Your thumb rubbed the side of his face.

“Yes, I do.” Your fingers brushed against his jawline, tracing the outline of his face. “Do you want this too?”

Miguel looked at you with wide open eyes, a sheepish smile on his lips. He then kissed your shoulders softly, his lips merely above a whiff of wind. His lips followed the shape of your shoulders, of your neck and he dragged his tongue along your collarbone before kissing you between your collarbone and your skin.

“I want you.”

You resumed kissing one another while Miguel lifted you up, taking you to his bedroom. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders while he struggled to unhook your bra.

“So eager, are we?”, you teased him between two kisses. One of his arms was holding you close to his body and his free hand was pulling on the clasp of your bra. He was growing red with excitement and embarrassment. When did he become this clumsy? It must have something to do with you, he thought. ‘Screw this thing.’ He groaned in frustration with this small garment and he lifted you higher. His fingers left the hook of your bra and instead he pulled on the right strap of your bra and lowered it using his mouth, before doing the same on the other side. Miguel then rested his face against your chest, his nose delving between your breasts before kissing them tenderly and smelling the sweet aroma of your skin.

You held his face close to your chest while kissing the roots of his hair. You entered the bedroom and Miguel helped you lay down the bed, putting your body over the sheets as if you were the most precious thing in the world. You squirmed on top of the covers, removing your bra before sitting down the bed. When you caught Miguel’s gaze on you, you almost laughed out loud at his funny face but there was such a heat inside this serious look that you soon found yourself unable to laugh or even look away. Before you could even ask him if everything was alright, Miguel moved closer and extended his arms to touch your knees. His eyes reveled in the shape of your body, taking his time admiring your complexion, your curves and every little detail on your body. After a short silence, he whispered quietly:

“You’re so beautiful.”

He would have been unable to imagine such a body as wonderful as yours, even in his wildest dreams. He asked with much reverence:

“Can I touch you, please?”

You nodded slowly, pulling him closer to you. His lips found your neck and he planted a few kisses there, just over your pulse and the base of your jawline. He then kissed you lower, dragging his mouth down your body, down your collarbones, the valley of your breasts and your stomach. When his lips touched your stomach, he made a low groan and began planting quick, wet pecks all over your tummy. The sensation was more ticklish than anything at first and it got you giggling. Miguel watched you from the corner of his eyes, a soft smile on his lips while he kept kissing you. With his hands holding your sides, he began drawing small circles over your skin using his thumbs.

“Your skin is so soft.”

You giggled even more at the compliment, too self-conscious to fully embrace it. But Miguel was more serious than ever with his face almost pressing against your stomach. He could smell the scent of your lotion, savor your plump flesh as one would savor a desert, lose himself into the quivering of your body.

“You smell so good.” With his flatten tongue, he licked your skin, moving lower until it reached the hem of your pants. He looked at you to make sure you were fine with this and after one nod from you, he buried his face between your thighs. You caught your breath in your throat, watching him nuzzling his face against your crotch as if he had found Heaven on Earth. His muffled groans let you know that so far, he was enjoying himself. His hands began working on the buttons of your pants and he lowered them enough to reveal your underwear. The scent coming from between your legs was so arousing to him that he couldn’t resist it. It would be his first time seeing you fully naked and he wanted to make this moment as perfect as it could be. On your side, you were more than eager for him to remove the last piece of clothes separating him from your intimacy.

The two of you exchanged one look before it was settled. With you approval, he carefully removed your panties, leaving you fully exposed. With a quiet moan, he watched your sex come in full view. His face kept hovering close to your lips, his warm breath hitting your skin, making your thighs quiver.

“Can I...kiss you there?”You let out a “yes” under your breath before he kissed your mount of Venus. Your pubes rubbed against his lips and he was now the one laughing softly. You seemed to realize something as he kept kissing your vulva. With wide open eyes, you blurted out:

“I’m...I’m clean. I recently got a screening...” He looked at you for a second, a little taken aback before kissing you again, this time a little lower. You felt his kisses getting more playful as he replied:

“Yeah, me too.” The two of you exchanged one amused look before he resumed kissing you. One of his hands was still holding your side and the other was rubbing your thigh. When his tongue made its way between your lips, you were already wet. Your swollen and warm lips felt like a cushion for his mouth and he closed his eyes as if he was about to fall asleep on them. With his lips firmly attached to your labia, he proceeded to suck and lick your core. After a moment, he decided he wanted to fully appreciate and experience your body. That’s how he slipped one finger between your thighs, making sure that you were wet enough. He went slowly as he inserted his index into you, teasing your entrance at first, smearing your wetness over your folds before pumping in and out at a slow pace. The wet sounds of your arousal coating his fingers made the two of you smile. He removed his finger and licked it off, taking in the taste of your cyprine before inserting an other finger into this time.

It was quite pleasurable on your side. His hooked fingers were pleasurable but you were craving his touch somewhere else. No matter how much you gyrated your hips, this wasn’t exactly it.

“Can you move a little higher please?”, you finally asked him. Miguel turned a little red at your request, apologizing while he removed his fingers.

“It’s okay, don’t worry.”

With your guidance, his fingers went on a hunt for your most sensitive spot and when he found it, he couldn’t let go of it. His fingers first exposed the head of your clitoris from its little hood. The look of amazement on his face was priceless at first but he soon grew more confident and his fingers were now rubbing and flicking the small bundle of nerves until it turned red and swollen. You were growing more sensitive on that spot and he could feel it. The heat in your lower body was also growing more and more and his fingers were soaked in your juice. It began to feel like a small irritation on your sex but you knew what that meant, your were getting close to your orgasm. You clenched your thighs in a reflex while a sensation almost like a tickle spread down there. Miguel’s lips were parted as he huffed a bit, watching you getting more and more excited was definitely making him feel hotter. His own sex was dripping with arousal and it almost felt uncomfortable, but he couldn’t care less as his only goal was to please you. His thumb moved faster over your clitoris causing you to moan in a high-pitched voice that was nothing like yours. He had never heard you make this type of sounds and he would lie saying that he didn’t like it. In fact he enjoyed them so much that he kept applying more pressure on your already swollen clit and his other hand rested now on your lower belly, applying a well-appreciated pressure. You felt like you were close to burst into his hands.

“Come on, love. You’re close, I can feel it…”

His soft words made you blush since it was also your first time hearing him speaking this way.

“I’m trying…”, you answered while a croaked moan escaped your lips.

“Don’t do anything. Just relax, love and let me do the work.” Miguel’s cocky smile didn’t help your blush but you did so and let your body relax and when you began feeling loose, his fingers spread your folds apart and he dipped his tongue, using it to circle your clitoris before swallowing the nub and suckling on it.

Your body twitched and you let out a sound that was both a groan and a moan while you threw your head backward onto pillows. Miguel watched your climax at a very close distance, your juice dripping down his tongue and he swallowed everything before resting his face on your belly.

“Did you like that?” You answered positively, a large smile on your face while your hands began to caress his face. Your let your fingers trace the outline of his cheekbones, his jaw and the shapeliness of his lips. They were still slick from your release but you couldn’t care less. Understanding your silent request, he crawled back on top of you and kisses your face this time. Your hands kept traveling lower on his body and they were now resting on the hem of his shirt. You’d never seen him shirtless once since his transition but today he would indulge in your curiosity. He quickly put a kiss on your forehead before standing up and removing his shirt. You had to hold yourself back as soon as you saw him or else, your hands would have already been all over him. You took in the view in front of you and a smile furled up your lips. He didn’t seem embarrassed by your staring. In fact, he enjoyed the attention you provided to him, whether it was with your hands, your eyes or your lips. You were kissing the crook of his neck, helping him to relax his tense shoulders while your hands roamed freely his sun-kissed skin. You felt Miguel shivering when your fingertips brushed against his top-surgery scars. They were not really prominent but you could still see them. He was anxiously waiting for you to say anything about them and your reaction surprised him.

“Can I kiss them?” He couldn’t deny you this and so your lips followed the curve of his chest, running along the scars. Your soft lips trailed down his broad chest until they landed on his navel.

The scent of his skin was tantalizing, almost making you feel dizzy. You were overwhelmed by how warm and soft his body was and with your skin pressed against his stomach you had to catch your breath. The feeling of your warm and hushed breath against him was a ticklish, but not unpleasant sensation. Miguel began to brush some strands of your hair, softly massaging your scalp before tilting your head up.

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” But as soon as he saw your eyes, he knew there was no going back. You were too eager to discover his body and please him the same way he did to you. You gently pushed him back on the bed while his fingers unbuckled his belt. A wet patch had appeared in the front of his underwear and you pressed a soft kiss against it, making him whimper. He couldn’t wait to see how you would take care of him.

Watching his body writhing on top of the bed, squirming at every one of your touch was turning you on to the point that you couldn’t hide your enthusiasm. What you lacked in experience, you made up for with your eagerness. You were lapping at his folds while your fingers quickly thrust in and out of his cunt. You couldn’t believe how aroused he already was as your fingers were soaked in his juice.

“You’re so wet, baby…”, you moaned before hungrily kissing his clitoris. Miguel only groaned in answer, feeling his arousal reaching new heights. He had wanted you for so long and his body’s every reaction was the proof of this desire. He started mumbling in Spanish under his breath, making you smile as you kept on toying with his clitoris. Every time you were sliding your fingers inside him, you could feel his warm and wet walls tightening, squeezing you in the right way. This was giving you so many ideas about what you could do on an other occasion. At some point, you felt his walls clenching you harder and his orgasm took you by surprise. His his lifted up a bit and his hands gripped the sheets tighter. You watched in awe his body tensing like a bow until his release dripped down his thighs and your hands. His groans were now delicate moans as a wet jet of cyprine hit your chin. With one hand you held his hips onto the bed and with the other one you were flicking his clitoris, spraying both his thighs and his lower abdomen with the warm liquid. Miguel groaned at the feeling, he felt close again from just your touch.

“Sit on it please.”

When your two cunts began rubbing against one another, you couldn’t hold a gasp. His slick sex was heavenly and you rutted on top of him without any trouble. The way your clitoris was rubbing against him made a moaning mess out of you and he had to hold you by your waist. His eyes were scanning your face, memorizing every face you were making. He knew these delighted expression would follow him in his dreams for days, if not weeks. His words of praise and cheering were soon replaced by more moans before he reached a second orgasm. And then a third.

***

You were resting your head against Miguel’s chest while his hands rubbed your shoulders. He would plant soft kisses on your forehead or the tip of your noses from time to time, especially when you would close your eyes. It must have been already an hour since you told him that you needed to take a shower, and yet, your still snuggled against him, not wanting to move even a finger. His embrace was too comforting to leave just now and you thought you would never have enough of him.

“That was great.”, he whispered into your hair. You blushed at his words and silently agreed. When he saw that you were blushing, Miguel couldn’t resist teasing you further. He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up.

“What are you doing?”, you asked with a wide smile. His cocky smile was back on his face and he replied after kissing the tip of your nose:

“Didn’t you say you wanted to take a shower?” He then added with a wink: "I think I could help with that."

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This was a really long story and I hope the end was not too rushed. I hope you liked it as well as the hint at my next story.

I'll be less active in January because of finals but I'll try my best to still post.

Merry Christmas to ya'll !

#across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #fanfic #astv miguel #miguel o'hara smut #miguel x reader #spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #atsv

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