#I've been listening wrong for 8 years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unforth · 7 months

Text

I had a day off yesterday.

And I can already practically hear the assumptions that such a statement is prompting the reader to make. Those assumptions are wrong. I don't mean I didn't work. I did, for about 8 hours. That's not at all what I mean.

I mean my wife took the kids out at 9:30, spent the night with her mom, isn't back yet the next morning.

There are things I NEED people on this website to understand about parenting. And I've talked about it before, and I'll talk about it again, because honestly the way that Tumblr as a cohort talks about parents makes me sick. Multiple polls have shown that only about 2% of people on here are parents. We're a huge minority, and we're constantly talked over, ignored, or accused of being bad parents (like, personally, I have had people reply to my comments or come on to my posts and tell me I shouldn't have my kids). In my case, being a parent means I'm almost 41, I'm married to @ramblingandpie, and our children are inching up on being 8 and 6 years old.

My entire day, and therefore my entire life, revolves around them. I'm up most mornings at 5 AM, because that's the earliest they're "allowed" to wake up, and so my brain just defaults to being awake around then - better to wake up before them, at least then I get a few minutes in the morning. Between 5 and 7, I sit with them, do my social media, work on side blogs, study Chinese. Then it's helping them get ready for school, then my wife or I or both get them on the bus, and then I work until the last possible minute, which is either when I need to go pick them up for an after school activity or when I need to go down and meet them off the bus. My afternoons are after school activities, chores such as washing the dishes and cleaning up toys, talking with them, working with them, playing with them. Their bedtime starts at 7:40, and my son gets scared if I leave before he falls asleep so I sit with him until about 8:15. As soon as he's asleep, I go fall on my face, sleep as best I can, then wake up and do it again. Overnight, it's hard to sleep deeply, because about once a week someone will wake up in the middle of the night and need help. That could be as minimal as a hug or as complex as having to completely change the bedding on a bunk bed at 2 AM while also comforting a child who is afraid they'll be in trouble, or afraid they're sick, or afraid of their nightmare, or, or, or. Further, if a child is awake, there is always noise. I usually study Chinese with two or more competing sources of noise. I read the same way. My life is loud, and active, and consists of constant interruptions.

I adore my family, and I love my children, but this is terrible for me.

I do all of this as an neurodivergent introvert. My clinical depression is at least medicated, mostly because post-partum depression after I gave birth the first time nearly drove me to suicidal in under a week (we were expecting this and were prepared, fortunately, getting help was as simple as a phone call). The constant noise and interruptions and forced socialibility are about the worst combination of home-life I could be subjected to. I spend far too many early mornings just breathing deeply and gearing myself up to be subjected to the wall of Loud, Boisterous, Needing-My-Attention that is every minute when anyone else in the house is awake.

So what did my day off look like?

I helped get the kids ready to go and did some morning chores. I'd been up at 4:30 AM so I also had already social media'd and studied. Then, while my wife finished the preparations, I started work, and I worked from about 8 am to about 4 pm, straight. I didn't get hungry so didn't bother stopping for lunch. No one interrupted me, no one asked me to look at anything they'd built, no one broke my concentration, no sounds could be heard except those I'd chosen myself.

I'd been out the day before at a local shopping street and listened closely to the things the kids said they wanted, so at 4 I grabbed a couple orders I needed to ship for work and drove to our local downtown, dropped the orders in a post box, then went back to the shops and did some Christmas shopping in the 45 minutes or so before everything closed. I think I'm basically done with what we'll get them - other bigger things will be left to grand parents - so that's a load off, I literally had a stress dream earlier this week about it being 12/24 and having forgotten to do the shopping and having to go to (oh horrors) the mall on the day before Christmas. (Reminder: I'm a Jewish atheist. It's just virtually impossible not to Holiday in the Culturally Christian Hellscape that is the US. Also, my wife is Christian. So.) Found something cute for my wife, too, even tho I already know the main thing I'm getting her. Then, I realized - one of my favorite restaurants is on that block. So. I went there. I sat by myself at a table, only the indistinct restaurant hubbub around me. I read four or five chapters of my book, and ate a savory crepe, and drank lovely fruit tea, and got a scone to-go that I'll eat for lunch today. It was more than I probably should have spent on myself - about $25, including tip - but fuck it. I only get maybe a handful of days off all year, and I'm allowed to indulge a little.

Then I came home. There were no lights on. There was no noise. I had considered doing some more merch work while watching TV on the actual television (my kids are too young for subtitled shows, so usually if I want to watch My Shows I either have to do it on my computer when they're not around, or put them on and read all the subtitles aloud while trying to keep up and process the actual meaning of what I'm reading). But when I got back, the quiet and dark was so goddamn NICE that instead I curled up on the couch and read more of my book. I did that until bedtime - still about 8:15, because I'm exhausted. Then...I went to bed. And I slept long and deep, knowing that there was no chance I'd be interrupted and woken up, I didn't have to be, even in sleep, alert to every noise and possibility that I'd be needed.

I'm still exhausted and burned out, but even one night to myself felt really, really nice.

Saying "Tumblr does X" as a universal statement is doomed to failure, but generally speaking, the parenting posts I see on Tumblr, the ones with tens or hundreds of thousands of notes, speak what's apparently widely seen as a truism on here: that unless someone wants to spend 24/7 with their kids, to be 100% emotionally available at all times, is always kind and patient and perfect, they are a bad parent, maybe even abusive. I remember when covid started, there were multiple posts actively mocking the "oh god, my kids are now home all the time, how am I supposed to do this?" attitude that a lot of parents posted in despair. WhY dId YoU hAvE kIdS iF yOu DoN't WaNt To SpEnD tImE wItH tHeM?

Look at what my usual day looks like.

Look at what my day off looked like.

Do you really think I don't want to spend time with my kids? Do you really think I don't love my kids?

But I'm not a fucking MACHINE. I'm a PERSON. That's what people on Tumblr seem to forget. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE. The same tumblrinas who post ~uwu be kind to yourself rest if you need to, you should forgive yourself for that mistake you made~ will turn around, with zero sense of irony, and post "you're a bad parent if you ever raise your voice around a child."

Expecting parents to be perfect means expecting parents to be inhuman. It also means that a parent can't be poor (can't spend all your time being the perfect parent if you have to work multiple jobs or weird hours!), can't be introverted (can't be a perfect parent if you're not completely emotional available, god forbid socializing is exhausting for you), can't be on the ADHD or autism spectrum (what do you mean you forgot to get your kid to a doctor's appointment once? what do you mean over-stimulation can make you angry? how dare you get angry at a kid!), can't be depressed (gotta get out of bed every single day, gotta always be upbeat, patient, happy, or else that's Evil), can't be (like my wife) physically disabled (what do you mean your hands hurt too much to hold a child's hand? are you denying them touch?? CRUEL). And when the only answer you can offer to that is, "if you can't be that perfect you shouldn't be a parent," then you're saying people who aren't middle class to wealthy, people who aren't neurotypical, people who aren't physically able, shouldn't have children.

And honestly...what the fuck is your problem?

I'm not perfect. I tell my kids to just leave me alone sometimes. I raise my voice, especially when one of my kids starts punching the other, but also sometimes just cause I'm exhausted and Can't Anymore. I've forgotten an appointment by accident and felt like a total fucking idiot, and I've skipped an after school activity because I just wasn't up for taking them. I've served them more unbalanced, unhealthy meals than I can count. I've made many, many mistakes, but I've also done my best, and I love my kids, and I hope that when they grow up, they'll still love me even as they recognize that I wasn't perfect, just as I've come to accept my own parents' short-comings while still loving them very much. They're people, too, and the older I get, the more I understand where they were coming from.

When I fuck up, I apologize.

When they tell me they're unhappy with something I've done, I apologize, and I try to do better. Sometimes I even succeed.

This shit is hard, yo. And it's getting harder every year.

I'm BEGGING Tumblr: you need to start seeing parents as people. The way y'all talk about parenting on here is toxic, and genuinely harmful, and frankly exhausting. You have no idea what the reality of raising kids is like, and you need to shut the entire fuck up.

I had a day off yesterday.

I might get one more before the end of 2023.

I already can't wait. I am so, so, so tired. sigh

(if you actually read this whole rant and even a single word of it resonated for you, please reblog it. I'm tired of never seeing positive posts about parenting while I see negative ones with a bajillion notes.)

#unforth rambles #parenting #momblr #nothing prompted this #i just think about writing posts like this all the time #because the low-level background buzz of how much tumblr hates parents is a constant stressor tbh #and every once and a while i tip over the line end up Writing the Thing #and so here we are again #god i have so much to do today and instead i procrastinate with this #oops

559 notes · View notes

natti-ice · 3 months

Text

Wrong Assumptions- Regulus Black.

Pairing: Regulus Black x fem!reader

Summary: The Marauders come to visit for the summer, Regulus does everything to avoid the love of his life

Warnings: written in third person (she/her pronouns), this is two parts in one (2.7k words)

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

Summer breaks at 12 Grimmauld Place weren't always eventful. It was quiet most days, a rare conversation here and there. The Black brothers got along to a certain extent. Even when his parents were constantly comparing him to his brother, Sirius did love his brother. Regulus wouldn't say it out loud but he loved his brother too.

This break was different than the rest, Walburga and Orion were out of town for a few weeks. This meant the boys had the house to themselves. Sirius took advantage of this immediately. He sent an owl to his friends the second his parents left, telling them to come asap.

Regulus didn't care they were gone, or that Sirius had friends over. He kept to himself most of the day anyway. He wasn't overly fond of Sirius' friends, they were the complete opposite of him. Loud, obnoxious, just all over the place. Well, that was mainly James.

He could tolerate the tall one, the short boy didn't look in his direction so Regulus didn't mind him. He liked Y/N, only because she was his friend first.

Growing up, their parents were friends. Y/N would come over and play with the boys, she was always closer with Regulus even though she was a year older. She wasn't into the things Sirius liked. He was more into physical toys, while Y/N and Reg would create fantasy lands with their imaginations.

One day they could be pirates finding lost treasure at sea, the next they were doctors performing emergency surgery on a teddy bear. This went on for a while till it was time for her to go to school. That's when she and Sirius became close, it seemed like she completely forgot about Regulus.

Most people thought Sirius and Y/N were in love the way they were never separate. For a while, Regulus didn't think that until he saw Y/N and Sirius cuddled up at the great lake one day.

The Marauders arrived a few days ago, nothing crazy had happened thankfully. No kitchen fires or broken vases, just loud voices that reminded Regulus of their presence.

It was about 8:30 in the morning, the house was quiet. Regulus figured they were all still asleep, he didn't like to leave his room when they were about the house. He went downstairs to the kitchen to make himself breakfast.

Walking into the kitchen, heading straight to the cabinet to make his morning tea. He failed to see someone already sitting at the dining table

"Good morning Reggie" She said

"Morning" he said with a thin-lipped smile

"How have you been?" she kept the conversation going

"I've been fine" he sat in front of her, stirring his tea

They made small talk for a while, catching up on what the other has been doing over the years. They hadn't had an actual conversation in who knows how long. Small waves and hellos in the hallways were the extent of their friendship.

The conversation was easy as if they'd never stopped talking. A few laughs here and there, until the boys woke up. Thumbing could be heard from outside the kitchen door, the boys came into the kitchen all at once. They were already talking about something probably meaningless. Regulus took this opportunity to slip out of the room.

It kind of hurt Y/N to see him leave, but she understood. He wasn't a people person. She would see him around school, always by himself. He would talk to some boys in his house, but she knew they weren't his close friends.

"Y/N/N get dressed, we're going into town today" Sirius told the girl as he buttered his toast

She listened heading up the stairs to her room to pick out an outfit. She passes by Regulus' room, stopping, backing up to be in front of his door.

She figured it wouldn't hurt to ask if he wanted to come. She knocks on the door

"Hey Reg, can I come in for a sec"

"sure" muffled by the door, she cracks open slightly stepping into his room.

It was very neat and elegant for a young man. A tall bookshelf and desk furnished his room.

"The boys and I are going out later, I just wanted to know if you wanted to come" she smiled

"Oh, no. Thank you, though" he said quicker than she'd like

"Okay, I'll see you later then" she left his room, it was probably for the best. The boys would've flipped if he came.

The sun was almost completely down before the Marauders came back. They went all over London.

During their absence, Regulus thought back to that day at the lake. He was studying some plants for herbology that lived in the water. A few feet away was his brother's little friend group. Sirius was leaning up against a tree, while Y/N was rested under his arm with her head on his shoulder.

A small pain struck Regulus' heart, he didn't understand it back then but he knows now. He's in love with her, the feeling was new to him. He felt sick to his stomach any time he saw them together after that day.

That's why he didn't want to go out with them, if it was just Y/N, he'd go anywhere she wanted.

The boys had worn themselves out today, they all were asleep by 11:30. Y/N laid in her bed, trying her best to fall asleep. She was restless, she didn't have as much fun as she pretended she did. Throughout the day Regulus ran through her mind. She missed being around him, watching him grow up on the sidelines was painful. They should've done it together.

When he got sorted into a different house, she knew there wasn't a chance for their relationship to be as it once was.

She left her bed, she walked the halls of the house trying to cure her boredom. She decided to go up to the roof. It was a place she and Reggie would sneak off to when they'd gotten in trouble. No one ever found them.

She climbed up the hidden ladder that was installed into the ceiling of the top floor. A warm breeze hit her face as she got to the roof. She sat down against the brick wall that's connected to the chimney.

She sighed, finally some fresh air. She loved her friends, but sometimes they were too much.

"Y/N?" A voice said

"Reggie?" she asked back

A tall figure came from behind the wall, sitting next to her.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked

"Just needed a little air" he nods, "I didn't know you still came up here" she says

"Yeah, it's my own hideaway" a small smile on his face

They sat in silence for a minute or two. Y/N taking in the beauty of the night sky.

"Can I ask you something?" Regulus asked randomly

"Sure, anything"

He takes a short pause, thinking of how to word the question. "Are you in love with my brother?" he asks in a quiet voice

She looked at him searching for any sign he was joking. He was being serious. She had to laugh.

"What's so funny?" He was confused by her hysterics

"I'm sorry, it was just funny. You think I like Sirius?"

"You don't?" He was even more confused now

"No! I love him, just not in that way. I don't know why everyone thinks me and him are a thing." She explained

"Okay... what about when you two were cozied up at the lake?"

"Are you stalking me Reggie?" she teased

"What? No." He was thankful for the darkness, he could feel his face heating up

"It was cold that day, I forgot my jacket. He was being a good friend is all. Plus he's not really my type" she said

"Oh. I don't think he deserves you anyway" he smirked "What is your type then?" He needed to know, he knew it would eat him up if he didn't know.

It felt like she was taking forever to answer, he could hear his pulse. It was so loud, he almost missed what she said.

"I'm sorry what?" he asked

"I said, you" She smiled

This was something he had wanted to hear for a very long time, now was his time. Something came over him, and he went for it.

"I love you" he blurted out

"I was hoping you'd say that" she leaned in slightly, inches away from his face "I'm going to kiss you now" she whispered

Regulus closed the distance between them, holding her cheek in hand. This moment was what he thought about every day. He was afraid he was dreaming. Finally pulling away for air.

"I love you too, Reggie"

They didn't stay on the roof for long, the summer nights were quite warm. Sleep wasn't an option for them, rekindling their friendship and starting a new relationship gave them an adrenaline boost.

They thought of things they could do that were fun but didn't risk them getting caught. Regulus was trying to come up with something when he remembered a little secret of his.

"I know something we can do, but if you tell anyone I'll deny it" he started

"What are you talking about? Should I be worried?" She asked, his bold vague statement made her very curious

"I own one of those muggle television sets. I was tired of hearing the kids at school talking about them so I had to see what the big deal was"

"Really?"

He nods,

"Oh my" she laughs, "Who would've thought, the pureblood has a liking for muggle things"

"Hey, it was only-"

"I'm teasing, Reg!" she smiled at him "I'd love to watch tv with you"

"C'mon I show you where it is," he said, standing up offering her a hand.

She accepted it, pulling herself up. They climbed back down the ladder into the house. Regulus took her hand, leading her down the dark hallway to a small room in an abandoned part of the house.

The room was pretty bare, with only a small tv and a two-person couch filling the space. Reg walks over to the television turning the dials finding his favorite channel. It played reruns of the American show 'Charlie's Angels'.

Both of them sat down on the couch, closer than they would've this time yesterday. He had already seen this episode before, he filled Y/N in on what she'd missed.

The couple sat together enjoying the program, neither of them could believe they were finally together. They were still getting used to being around each other again. It was a little awkward at first, but as their nerves calmed they eased into it.

"Y'know what would make this better?" Y/N said

"What?" his voice raspy from not speaking

"Snacks"

"You're absolutely right" he smiled

Walking downstairs, trying their best to be quiet. They knew if the boys found out, it would be a whole fiasco. It was best to keep it to themselves for now.

Y/N took the lead stepping into the kitchen pushing open the door, the fridge light was already illuminating the room. Sirius had woken up and decided to get something to drink.

"Oh hey Y/N/N... and Regulus?" he furrowed his brows together "What are you two doing?" he questioned

"Just hanging out, we couldn't sleep" She came up with on the fly, Regulus silently stood behind her, maintaining eye contact with his older brother.

"Right, can I talk to you for a minute, Y/N" he said pulling her into the other room

She kept her composure, she knew he had many questions. But she wasn't ready to tell him everything just yet.

"You and him are friends now?"

"We've always been friends, Sirius. We just haven't talked in a while that's all" she told him

"Okay, just answer me this one question" he sighed, dreading the answer. "Are you messing around with my brother?"

"WHAT?" She said a little too loudly "No, I am not messing around with him" she whispered, Regulus was probably listening

"I'll take your word for it" he put his hands up in defense "I've got to go back to bed, Goodnight"

"Goodnight, Sirius" she watched as he ascended up the stairs

She released the breath she didn't know she was holding, going back into the kitchen.

"How'd it go?" Regulus asked

"Fine, but he is very suspicious. If we want to keep this a secret, we'll have to be more discrete." She didn't like keeping secrets from Sirius, but she didn't want to jeopardize her relationship with Regulus.

He walks up to her, taking her face in his hand. "We'll tell him soon enough, don't worry dear" he tells her, placing a small kiss on her forehead

It was the Marauders last week at The Black's house. Every night Y/N and Regulus would stay up, take every moment they could to be together before she had to leave.

This also meant they were exhausted during the day. She still had to hang around the boys, so she sacrificed her sleep to keep her secret. The boys noticed her tiredness but didn't pay it any mind, figured she was worn out from being around them for so long.

There were a few times they had almost got caught, barely getting out of each situation. Like the time James decided to be an early bird.

It was 4:45 am, Y/N and Regulus had accidentally fallen asleep in the living room. Y/N was laying on top of Regulus. James half-awake walked past the room, thankfully it was quite dark in the house. He could only see her figure on the couch.

"Psst, Y/N" This caused her to stir, she realized whose voice that was. Slowly turning her head to face James, thinking she was caught.

He wasn't looking in her direction thankfully

"Yeah?" she answered

"Go to your room, there's no way that couch is comfortable" he walked away

She frantically woke up Regulus after she saw James' silhouette was gone. They both had to tiptoe back to their respective rooms.

Today was her last day. One by one the Marauders were leaving. James and Y/N were the last to leave. She, James, and Sirius were waiting in the living room. Her parents would be there any minute, so she wanted to say goodbye to regulus.

"I'm gonna go say goodbye to Reggie" she told the boys

"Careful, he might bite" James laughed

Rolling her eyes, she made her way to his room. Lightly knocking on the door,

"Hey Reggie, can I come in?" she asks

"Of course," he replied

She walks into the room, he was standing in the middle of the room. He'd been waiting for her to come up there.

"My parents will be here soon, I wanted to say goodbye" She walks up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He snakes his arms around her shoulders, squeezing her tight.

"School starts back soon, Won't be long we'll see each other again" he says pulling away slightly so they're face to face.

"I love you, Y/N" He leans down, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss.

He's so happy he finally got the girl. The girl he always wanted, even when he thought she loved his brother.

"Hey Y/N, your parents-" Sirius says walking into his brothers from

The couple pulls away from each other, not fast enough for Sirius not to see.

"Haven't you heard of knocking" Regulus questions his brother

"I thought you said you two weren't messing around?" confusion slapped across his face

"We're not!" she panics

"Right, then what the hell was that?" slight anger in his tone

"We're not messing around. I love him, Sirius" She had to tell the truth

Sirius didn't say anything, only eyed the couple. Sighing he finally replied,

"I know,"

"You know?" Regulus asks

"Yeah, I've always known you loved each other. I just didn't know how to feel about it"

"How do you feel about it?" Y/N didn't want this to ruin anything being her and Sirius, he's her best friend

"It'll take me a while to get used to, but I want you guys to be happy"

Y/N walks up to him, wrapping him in a bear hug. "Thank you" she whispers

A car horn is heard outside the window

"I should probably go" she let go of her friend, walking back over to her boyfriend

"I love you, Reggie" giving him a quick peck

"Ew, please don't do that around me," Sirius says, a sickened look on his face

"You're gonna have to get use to it" she shrugged walking out of the room. Regulus follows behind her, standing next to his brother

"Goodbye Y/N" Sirius yells down the hall

"Goodbye boys" she says, heading down the stairs

Once he heard the door shut, Sirius turned to his brother

"If you hurt her, I promise you I will make your life hell" he put on a fake smile

"I wouldn't dream of it" he matched his brother's smile

Tags: @madwcman

Join a tag list!

#regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #regulus black x female reader #regulus black #regulus black x y/n #regulus black fluff #regulus black fanfiction #marauders era

169 notes · View notes

sophieinwonderland · 5 months

Text

Now, why would you dare me to embarrass you and your pals like that?

I appreciate how you wanted my attention so bad you posted me to not one, but two subreddits.

Makes a girl feel special! 🤣

I have actually never seen Wikipedia cited as a source about endogenic plurality. Though I do see anti-endos all the time, when asked for sources, telling people to just Google things.

Anyway, here's @guardianssystem's document filled with academic papers about endogenic plurality:

I've compiled my own, but honestly, theirs is better organized than mine.

And in the interest of fairness, here are all the anti-endo papers debunking endogenic plurality:

Sorry, I forgot. Those don't exist. Oops. 🤷‍♀️

Echo chamber? LOL!

Weren't you the one spouting a bunch of lies on Tumblr, got totally debunked, posted the people who debunked you to r/systemscringe to have a hugbox where fakeclaimers could assure you how the people who contradicted you are all fakers, and then blocked everyone who disagreed with you?

Weren't you also the one who, when shown a quote from an expert in dissociative disorders who worked on the DSM-5 saying that a disorder isn't a disorder if it doesn't cause distress, argued that the people who defined what disorder are must be wrong about that definition?

You're a misinformation machine who can only find support when huddled in cringe subreddits. Don't try to talk about people in echo chambers.

Also, you know most of psychology is just... listening to people? That's how it's been as long as the field existed. DID (or MPD at the time) was a recognized disorder since long before the first brain scans were conducted on DID patients. It's saying something though when basically every single scientist who has ever researched endogenic plurality has said they believe it's a real thing, or that it could be. While absolutely zero academic papers have expressed that it's fake.

There is also an fMRI study into tulpa systems that's been in the works, but results have yet to be published.

Sure, if that's what you'd like me to call you, Crazy. 😊

Anyway, Crazy, you should know that just because you personally find something scary doesn't mean everyone will or that the thing is bad. Personal preferences are a thing.

In a study of tulpamancers though, most generally reported their lives becoming better after the practice.

78% reported improvements in their mental health, and 91% on overall life.

There are many out there who would jump at the chance to have someone there with them that knows them intimately, and to never have to be alone again.

If it's not for you, then so be it.

But it's certainly not something to be afraid of.

And maybe, for those who are willing to commit to the practice while America struggles with an epidemic of loneliness, it's something worth being open to.

This is actually pretty fair.

But that's now, and I'm looking at course of history and trends of plural acceptance.

300 years ago, any plural would be viewed as demon possessed and end up tortured or killed for their plurality.

70 years ago, all plurality was seen as a mental illness, and it was common to force plurals, as well as anyone else associated with mental illnesses, into asylums.

30 years ago, the first real plural communities were able to connect on the internet and form in small numbers.

8 years ago, the first studies into endogenic plurality started being conducted. 4 years ago, the ICD-11 acknowledged that you could have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. 2023 marked the first, but certainly not the last, time a system used their system name as an author of an academic paper.

Recently, new plural resources have been designed and put into use. More servers than ever are using Pluralkit. And Simply Plural went from 100k users at the end of 2021 to 210k at the end of 2022.

Progress is happening far more rapidly than you realize. And you had best be ready for it.

BOO! 👻

Oh, hey, I just realized... this is literal pluralphobia!

Liberté!

Egalité!

Fraternité!

And yes, The Future is Plural! 😜

128 notes · View notes

sparrowrye · 1 month

Text

Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, A3 part 4

Synopsis: Alastor disappeared for 8 years, leaving you confused, crushed, and angry. You spent those years building up your new self and protecting the haven from dangers left and right. What will happen when he returns to the new changes? Will he return anytime soon? Could you even go back to the way things were?

Previous part

Part 4: new things

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We have several trackers on some of the trucks," Vox explained, gesturing to the wall of televisions. Some were stand stills of city road entrances, others seemed to be on someone, and others were obviously underneath a car.

"You couldn't have told me this over the phone?" I questioned. I was adorned in my dark maroon outfit again. My Dragon Demon persona was shining through like gold.

"You're a distrustful person. Figured I'd have to show you in person," he answered, glancing over at me, "besides, it's not like you visit very often."

"I have no reason to," I shrugged.

"What exactly is your plan?"

"Follow them to their factory. Then destroy it."

"Why don't you just interrogate one of them?" he questioned. I had been texting him specific instructions to not intervene with any of the drivers. "The workers keep mentioning two specific names: Azrael and Esdras. Maybe they're at the head of this operation now."

"Are you tracking their route or just their location?" I inquired, ignoring his suggestion.

"Both."

"I want all the trucks to go back to the factory to get new shipments. Then let them send out again."

"Why?" He sounded disgusted at the idea.

"Anyone can carry on Blackwater's legacy if they slip through the cracks. You don't have the location of all the trucks. Destroy the factory and not the workers and they start up again a decade later."

"So just let them get their re-supply and give more of those devices out?" He crossed his arms and faced me. The workers in the room had their headsets on and were listening to possible conversations through the cameras.

"No. That's where you'll come into play." I slid my hands in my pockets and leaned my weight on one leg. "When the trucks get to the factory, make sure each and every one of them has a tracker. Follow each truck well away from the factory before taking it. Then wait a few days in case there's another wave of trucks and do the same. Kill the workers as they come out of the hive."

Vox hummed and glanced up at his screens. "Once we have taken all the trucks, then what?"

"I sink the factory."

"What about all the machines still out there?"

"You get them as you find them. Shouldn't be a problem in your territory with all the cameras."

"I've got a lot of land now," he said smugly.

"Not my problem." I shrugged.

"Oof, cold hearted per usual." He made a fake pained gesture over his chest. I made no comment. "You ought to get out of that haven more. Relax a little."

"With you?" I questioned with a sideways glance.

"That's certainly an option." He took a step closer.

"You forget I'm soul bonded." This wasn't the first time Vox had tried to poorly flirt with me or encourage me to leave my haven for anything other than business. I could feel Alastor's hot eyes watching through mine.

"To a soul who abandoned you."

I rolled my eyes, head turned away. "He'll return."

"Maybe not for another fifty, sixty, or a hundred years. You should get out and explore. Experience more of the world."

"I don't think Alastor would be too happy if I were to go out drinking with an enemy in his absence."

"We've already got a deal together. What's wrong with a little drink?"

I turned and lowered my head so my eyes casted up in a glare.

"You."

The pained look was exactly what I was hoping to see. His recover was quick, though, as were his movements as he stepped into my personal space.

"If you can manage to be with Alastor of all Demons, you'll find me more susceptible." The static of his screen was making the hair on my neck and arms stand up.

I brought my tail up to push him away by his chest. "Like Alastor, I'm afraid I don't reciprocate the feelings."

"You're unlike Alastor in a lot of ways," he pressed.

"Good thing he and I compliment each other then."

"You seem awfully defensive about a killer Demon who abandoned you without a word for eight years. And so suddenly too."

I didn't comment. My smile was a half smile and my hands were still in my pockets. Vox had terrible timing for himself. I could feel Alastor melting with my own shadow, ready to pounce.

"Has he returned?" Vox asked. My expression must've given it away because his smile came back full force. "Finally returning after all the hard work is done?" He sounded excited.

He stepped in my personal space again but when I put my tail up, a thick wire snaked out of the wall and wrenched it to the floor. My eyes darkened as I bared my teeth in a snarl, claws ready to cut wires and scratch screens.

"Tell me, dear, how's it feel to know that all your hard work will be for nothing?" He went on, "No one will challenge your haven now that he's back and defending it. You won't need our deal anymore but you're still bound to it. You might even be forgotten as news picks up on his return," he reached a blue claw towards my face, "after all, who can trump the Radio Demon?"

"Not you." Alastor's contrasting red claws gripped his blue wrist before he could touch me. Vox's eyes widened as did his smile.

"Good to see you back Alastor," Vox greeted him as Alastor roughly shoved his hand away. I yanked my tail out of the cord's hold.

"I'm disappointed in you, old friend." He placed his cane on the floor and examined his other claw. The workers had noticed his arrival and turned in their chairs. "Attempting to attract my soulmate in my absence? How ill will of you."

"Says the one who left them without a word."

"My reasoning is none of your concern and all of ours."

Ours. It sounded strange coming from him.

"If you came here to nix our deal, I'm afraid that's out of the question."

"I'm not." He stepped directly in between us, back to me. "I'm here to remind you she may be bound by your deal, but I am not."

Vox scoffed. "If you attack me then she'll have to fight you."

"There's always a backdoor to every deal." He took a step closer. "And I'm great at exploiting them." He backed away and placed a claw on my shoulder. "Do enjoy the deal while it lasts. It won't be for long."

His magic and shadows surrounded me as he teleported us out of the station.

****

I started cooking dinner early while Alastor made his first broadcast in eight years. I had texted Vivian to keep Nym and Thatcher a little bit longer after school and to keep the radio off. Nearly every building had a radio.

Only a select few in the haven were given phones as a means of fast communication. Access to the internet was granted via our library or Internet rooms -- secluded rooms in a single building with several computers and phones.

My deal with Vox was to keep his stations safe from attacks so long as he promoted us in a positive way and never came into, listened in on, or observed the haven through his technology. This allowed anyone to access the internet safely from home.

Putting the wooden spoon down, I looked out the kitchen window at the empty ocean. I moved from the stove to lean on the rim of the sink. My claws tapped the metal carefully.

"So much is going to happen again," I whispered.

The first day of Alastor's return hadn't even finished yet. We 'made up', he met the children, Charlie showed him the town, he and Vox antagonized each other, and he was making his first broadcast in years.

I was truly starting to believe he wasn't a hallucination as I heard the muffle of his voice through the floorboards. He felt like a missing puzzle piece fitting back into my life but not so smoothly, almost as if I was second guessing if that piece actually fit in there or was just the right size and shape.

I wanted to cry.

I let out a loud grunt and went back to the stove. I had been wanting to cry since Alastor and I made up. Things weren't back to normal and probably won't be for a long time. I was still so angry, so hurt, and still confused. Just because he didn't leave on purpose didn't negate the fact that he still left me alone. I was someone different, someone new. Would he still care about me once he actually got to know the new me? He was clearly already upset with me about the children.

You're soulmates, I reminded myself.

Dinner was a simple mixed gumbo recipe I often used when I didn't have anything planned or when I needed to feed a lot of mouths. I wanted to have everyone sit down and have dinner together, hopefully to clear up confusion and negative feelings, but Reagan and Lucas already had plans and I wasn't going to attempt to encourage Alastor to talk with the two younger ones yet.

Speaking of which, the two of them came bolting in the front door. Thatcher ran right for my legs to avoid his sister who was carrying something cupped in her hands. Her love for nature wasn't shared with her younger brother who hid at the first sign of something with more than four legs.

I wrapped my tail around Nym's front to keep her away from him. She didn't fight me hard but was laughing and taunting Thatcher from the safe distance. I bore with it for only a minute or two before instructing her to let the poor creature loose and wash her hands.

Alastor remained in his office for a long time. I ate dinner with the two kids, listening to their chatter about school and the drama that came with it. It didn't get interesting until they mentioned one of the male teachers spending the after school hours in Ms. Vivian's room chatting with her. I would poke my friend for more information the next time we saw each other.

I procrastinated seeing Alastor. I hadn't changed his room much, really at all, since he disappeared, but I had gone through his office a few times and accidentally rearranged his bookshelves. So I washed the bowls, pot, and utensils as slow as I could.

Maybe a peace offering.

I went into the freezer and pulled out a tightly wrapped package. I unwrapped the meat and broke small pieces off, stirring them in a single bowl of the gumbo and using magic to make it hot again. Since Alastor disappeared, I had to hunt and harvest my own meat. It kept the strain and pain at bay but every now and then I would experience horrible withdrawal symptoms from a lack of his blood. It wasn't until three years later that I was able to go months without the horrible withdrawal, so long as I consistently had some other kind of blood, typically of a Demon.

Was Alastor's body the same as when he left or did it also suffer the wraths of time? Would he crave blood of some kind soon? Regardless of the answer, I needed to do something nice for him.

So, with unsteady feet, I climbed the creaky staircase to his--our--bedroom. I heard shuffling from his office and stopped early, gently knocking on the wood door. I waited only a moment before he opened it, red eyes glowing in the dark ambiance of the upstairs hallway. I needed to put more lights up here.

"I brought you some dinner," I offered the bowl. His toothy smile didn't change as he stepped aside to let me in. He closed the door behind me, my ears picking up on the click of the lock, and took the warm bowl from my hands. His claws brushed against mine as he did and I clasped them behind my back.

The smell of smoke and cedar wood was finally returning to the room. It had lost his scent after the first few months.

"Something wrong, my dear?" He placed the bowl on his desk and motioned for the single chair by the fireplace. He sat in his desk chair as I took the empty one and wrapped my tail around my ankles.

"No. Should there be?"

"You seem anxious." He sounded so nonchalant as he crossed his legs, elegant as ever, and examined the contents of the dish.

"Perhaps awkward is a better term."

"How so?" His expression gave away nothing as he began eating the meal.

"Are you upset with me?" I asked instead.

His pause was short. "There's a lot I'm currently managing."

"Such as?"

His eyes flicked up to mine. "Am I being interrogated?"

"What? No--I'm just...I'm curious."

"About?"

Why is this so difficult? I inwardly groaned.

"I'm worried about your thoughts on the house and on the children."

"I am not a fan of children. That you are aware of."

"I know that and..." I glanced down at my claws. His intense stare was difficult to meet. "I won't leave them or kick them out of the house."

"That was expected."

I fell silent. What was the point of me coming up here? I was getting nowhere with him.

"I will not do anything to them, if that is your concern," he added.

"I didn't think you would," I said quickly, "but...I don't know. I'm sorry."

"You have done nothing wrong."

Why was he being so nonchalant with me? Usually there was some kindof emotion poking through when we interacted. It felt like his eyes never left me. I never once saw him looking elsewhere.

"I didn't change much with the house," I tried next.

"I noticed. Though you seem to have spent a lot of time in my office."

"I'm sorry."

"I was not looking for an apology."

His contrasting personalities were confusing me. I noticed dials moving on his motherboard. Maybe he operated much like me in having different personalities for different aspects of his life. Maybe he was still in Alastor the Radio Demon persona.

"I read a lot of your books," I said.

"And made your own abstracts."

"I was supposed to remove them from the books before you came back."

"What for?"

"I know you said that's something you enjoy doing. So I didn't want to take that away from you."

"I enjoy reading your handwriting. Though I must admit," he licked his yellow teeth from the meal, "it looks like chicken scratch."

I crossed my arms and leaned back in the seat. "I never wrote anything until you disappeared. We didn't exactly need to write in the fighting rings." My face was hot with embarrassment. I shouldn't have come up here.

"Indeed. Maybe cursive would do you better."

"I struggle to understand your handwriting."

"Practice makes perfect." He placed the empty bowl on his desk.

"I guess." I crossed my legs and picked at the tips of my claws.

Silence hung over our heads for awhile. To my surprise, I felt myself actually relaxing in it rather than feeling more awkward.

Master of silence, I thought to myself.

I heard the patter of footsteps as Nym and Thatcher came looking for me. On weekend nights they often went to play with friends or spend the night in their homes.

"Well, I should go see what they need." I stood and took the bowl from his desk, his eyes following my every move. "They probably want to go see—" he caught my wrist "—their...friends..."

His grip was firm but kind. I could faintly smell his sweet, cedar wood scent. His back had come off the back of his chair and lips covered his sharp teeth.

My face was warm.

A single claw rubbed along my wrist.

My chest felt tight.

And my lips were dry. Too dry.

My tongue darted out to wet them, daring a fleeting glance at his lips.

He noticed.

I hadn't even realized his other arm had moved until his claw found the back of the my head. He pressed and pulled, bringing me closer and causing me to bump knees as I shifted my weight.

His scent was so overwhelming it made my nose pinch. He gently pressed his warm lips against mine in a soft kiss. My eyes closed as I leaned my weight forward a little more. I loved the feeling of his claws threading through my hair.

It had been so long since I last felt someone touch my hair like that.

I hadn't realized until now just how touch starved I had been, how much I craved his gentle touch. There was danger in those claws but they were kind and careful on me, never daring to do me harm again.

Maybe things would be okay. I thought to myself as I leaned my weight on the armrest of his chair and pressed harder into the kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

I'm so excited for this act! It's time for all the sweet (and smutty) things to happen. I promise the goods are coming ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@wendigonamecaller @saccharine-nectarine @thesimpybitch @papas-ghoulette @masochist-downfall

#demi demon #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #soulmate au #soulmates #reqs open

57 notes · View notes

ywpd-translations · 4 months

Text

Ride 761: Reserve

Pag 1

1: Please get ready the allen key, the allen key

Time is going by

Yessir!!

6mm

Yessir

4: You gotta calm down

Ye.... yessir, teh!!

You're frozen stiff

Pag 2

1: Sugimoto-san, where do I put this

The supplies box is under the foil bag over there, so put it in there

2: Ah, here?

Wait

3: Whose shoulder bag is that?

Kaburagi-san's....

4: (NdT.: the writing says “Kaburagi”)

7: This way, you won't have to look for it when you'll have to take it out

Oh... thank you so much!

Time is short when you have to hand it over, so you need to take your time with preparation beforehand

8: 40 minutes before the start!!

Pag 3

1: Alright, let's get your heartbeat up one more time

Yessir, teh

Is he alright?

Soon my role as a reserve will be over

Pag 4

1: Pfuui, it's hot

Together with the signal gun at the start....

3: No....

4: I guess it's already over?

6: These six people are already rock solid

Pag 5

1: I'm sure they'll run a good race

2: How about you sit down? Sugimoto-kun

The preparations are almost done

3: And you've been standing on your feet working since this morning

Pag 6

6: I feel.... disappointed

7: Even though I lost during training camp, I was still told I'd be the reserve

I guess I still “felt like I had a chance”

Pag 7

1: Say, Sugimoto-kun

Huh

Ah, yes!?

2: Why did you start riding bikes?

4: Ah, yeah, I've never told you?

5: Yeah

Well.... it's a silly story

It's just an ordinary story that's not worth listening to- you still want to hear it?

Yeah

7: My father used to ride a road bike

He suggested it to me but I was scared so I didn't

Pag 8

1: But, one day.... ah... well, my father's family home is in Okayama

In the north of Okayama at the border with Shimane, there's a huge mountain called “Mt. Daisen”

2: One time, when he made me get on a rental bike and run, he said “let's go there”, and took me there even though I didn't want to

3: For some reason, I was deeply moved

That majestic mountain's scenery kept changing as I advanced

4: I thought it was really interesting

5: Even though I said I was scared of falling, I soon got absorbed in riding

Pag 9

1: And I thought it was fun

2: I could ride this forever...

3: that's what I thought

4: After that I asked my father to take me to, like, Lake Kawaguch or Hakone on the weekends. We went to Hakone three times, three times (haha)

5: But still, the first time you see the scenery from a mountain is the best

Pag 10

1: Maybe I wanted to see the scenery for the first time

3: When I became an high-school student, I met Naruko, Onoda, and Imaizumi

Well, I had already heard about Imaizumi in middle school races

Those three....

4: I saw them running in the Inter High giving their whole body and soul

Midosuji!!

5: I saw them from up close

Onodaaa

Onoda-kun!!

Onodaaa

Pag 11

1: In my third year, I thought I wanted to see this Inter High's scenery

3: from inside the course

6: For sure

Pag 12

1: It didn't come true though

3: No no

4: Hahaha!! Why am I talking about such gloomy things before the start!!

Sorry, sorry, forget what I said just now, forget it!! Let's be bright!!

5: I'm their support, after all

My role is to be their backup!! Yes!!

Pag 13

2: The participants will be at the starting line soon

3: I give up....

4: Ah, ah

What's wrong?

5: Ah, every year we gather cyclists from each school who failed to enter the race in the “selected team”, right?

6: Yeah, the team with white jerseys and number bibs in the 200s!!

There's a vacancy there

Pag 14

2: Give it your all!

Yes, senpai!!

3: Thirty minutes until the start!!

4: We were informed just now

Are you looking for someone to fill in?

Well... there are conditions... and there's probably no one....

5: who can be ready within fifteen minutes from now

Pag 15

2: Oooii

3: Oh... it's Touji-san

He's in a hurry

Are there troubles? It's the first time I see Touji-san running

4: Sugimoto!!

5: Huh!?

Onii-chan?

6: Why are you in such a hurry.... everyone has finished getting ready, we're going soon

Sugimoto-san?

Huh? Me?

Pag 16

1: Do you want to ride in the Inter High!?

2: Huh!?

3: Run!? In the Inter High!? Eh!?

You're saying this to me!?

I just got a call from the director

4: He's speaking with the main office right now

Pag 17

1: But the the team's six people are rock solid...

2: It's not Sohoku!!

It's the team with white jerseys and number bibs in the 200s!! There's a vacancy there

3: They asked us to lend them a reserve!!

4: You only have fifteen minutes to get ready

Moreover, it comes with strict conditions!!

6: Still, will you run!?

Pag 18

1: Sugimoto....!!

2: Sugimoto...!!

3: Sugimoto-kun!?

5: Sugimoto-san!!

6: Ehy ehy

No, no!!

7: Sadatoki, set the wheels on Sugimoto's frame!!

On!!

Pag 19

2: Wa- wait please. This is the third Inter High and I've always been working for this team behind the scenes

And, I mean, supporting is also an important.... role

Ye-yes, that's it

3: The Inter…..

4: High!?

Me!?

5: This is the important last Inter High, so I'll reliably support Imaizumi, Naruko and Onod-

Pag 20

1: Is there anyone who would throw away their dreams for someone else?

2: My Colnago

Pag 21

1: It's a great opportunity

Run!! Take....

2: This chance!!

Imaizumi....!!

4: That day was hectic for me

Until up twenty minutes before the starts I was frantically doing preparation for the race for everyone

Pag 22

1: And after that, somehow, I wore a jersey I had never seen before

2: And, shaking, I was standing at the starting line of the Inter High

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 761 #WHAT A CHAPTER WHAT A CHAPTER!!!#this IH watanabe is really like 'you think you know whats going to happen?? no you dont!!'#nothing is going accordin to keikau ashsakhdf AND I LOVE IT #SUGIMOTOOOOOOOOO #IM SO HAPPY IM GONNA CRY #im a little confused about the team hes running with - like what the point whats the role of that team??? im confusion #BUT whataver HES RUNNING IN THE IH AND I LOVE THAT FOR HIM #also excuse me but that part after hes been all honest with miki and then he tries to play it off like something unimportant .......#killing me would have hurt less #and the fact that hes still saying until the end that hes going to support the other instead bc supporting is important #sugimoto......... bby :')#make your dream come true ;A;

99 notes · View notes

young-royals-confessions · 7 months

Note

Hello hello, it's anon from the flight! And how lovely it's this fandom that I got a moniker from an anon confession? I've read the messages and checked the reblogs and wow! I seriously didn't expect for my unhinged message to be this welcomed since I'm three years too late to this beautiful show! With this beautiful people and thank you so much to everyone who recommended me to listen to the Simon-not-actually-made-by-AI actor. AND SINGER! BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED. I'm still in disbelief he's real, like Omar Rudberg is so pretty AND has such a nice voice??? AND HE'S GORGEOUS and he's a great actor and UGH THE CHEMISTRY. With who I now know iis called Edvin and now I feel the need to see them acting next to eachother forever and ever, so much chemistry can't be wasted!! (looking at Netflix. I'm still so crossed I missed out of this beauty for three years wtf Netflix)

SO I binge watched the second season, patience isn't my name, and WHAT THE FUCK. Was not prepared for that rollercoaster. I gotta be honest, I almost stopped watching and went to sleep halfway through the season like ugh I fucking hate that Marcus dude, sure in the end I understand why he was a necessary evil for the plot but I fucking hate love triangles. I was a teenage girl during the height of love triangles in tv shows, I hate them. But I hate August the most. I think of his face and feel enraged.

BUUUUUUUUUUT UGHHHH. THE LOVE BETWEEN SIMON AND WILLE. That overpowered everything. Seriously, how am I supposed to be functional after being a witness to their valentine's ball kiss? And Simon's song? (Which I have been obbsessively listening on repeat WTF I understand nothing but I can feel FEEL the meaning on my bones. This beautiful dude's voice wtf. I can understand Wille's obsession, I'm practically obsessed too now wtf)

AND THE END OHMYGOD. A BALM FOR MY SOUL. I was kind of hoping to get heartbroken AGAin for shit and giggles but noooo, I got the best ending and I'm trying to not be too spoiler-ey since I'm sure I'm not the only human being living in this planet called Earth who's unaware the most perfect TV show exists and it's called Young Royals and beautiful people are in it to everyone taste no matter your sexual orientation (like hello Felice too!)(still shocked Omar Rudberg is a real person and not generated by artificial intelligence, maybe I'll be convinced after some proper sleep time, but for now he's too beautiful to be real. Not even exaggerating and I'm really good at that okay!)

I'm still processing the second season, I took a nap after I finished but I'm still tired since I cried and laughed and was left with the biggest smile in my face (and I also was in an 8 hour flight!) and then went to youtube and saw a clip from season 3 AND OMFG THESE TWO DUDES ARE TOO PRETTY FOR WORDS. Happiness and love look wonderful in Wille, like the literal heart eyes he's delivering there? That's how I feel when I see Simon too. Relatable character is relatable. What can I say about Simon without sounding crazy except I need to protect him at all costs??

I don't know what else to say except THANK YOU for reading me and thank you to everyone who has been nice to me in the comments even when I'm still anon, it means the world to me. I hope I'll be more coherent after eight hours of sleep and I won't be too embarrassed reading my own message tomorrow lmao and I don't know how I'm going to survive until 2024 for season 3, I'm sitting here taking notes for that too! I already know the answer it's fanfics so I'll be checking AO3 but also analysis? Meta? how are you guys for real? I was expecting a teenage fandom with just vibes but I guess I was wrong. And I love it. As much as I love the show and Simon and Wille's relationship and I gotta be honest, Omar Rudberg's face and voice. UGH.

Thank you so much for reading me again and for everyone who has left messages for me, I'll freak out more once I get some proper sleep!

Thank you and I'm sorry again XOXO

YAY thanks for coming back!! 💜💜💜

#anon from the flight #is back!#yr s2 #yr s3 #yr fandom #young royals #omar rudberg #new fans

86 notes · View notes

goodbyeapathy8 · 5 months

Text

Leaving Kindergarten Mafia

There have already been a few posts floating around about the Discord server implosion of Kindergarten Mafia. They do a great job of outlining the events that happened, with documentation, directly from the folks who were harmed by the server owner (Hann) and mods that helped enable their racism. (Snake and Mouse, Jinx1, Jinx2, mousydentist, Faye, among others.) So I'm not going to do that.

These are my own thoughts on the specific racism and tenets of white supremacy that I observed in the server as well as a general commentary on joining fandom spaces.

Rarely do I emphasize my age but it's relevant so here we are : I am 35 years old this year and Kindergarten Mafia was part of my first baby steps into any fandom. Ironically, my hesitation to join fandom ended up being proven because I had heard, for a very long time, that fandom spaces were dominated by racism and a failure to acknowledge POC fans. For a long time, I was complacent and felt "safe" in that server of 300+ folks.

Until one Native member spoke up about the usage of "spirit animal" as appropriative and the cracks in the foundations began to show themselves to everyone and not just the people with marginalized identities.

I had already started to feel uncomfortable in how the server dealt with ableism. There was also a member who I've previously called out on Tumblr, for usage of the m*dget slur in their story, and who became extremely vocal recently. (Spoiler alert - they wrote an entire essay excusing their usage of it, multiple times in the fic, because they couldn't be creative or bothered enough to come up with an alternative for a "short person".)

Without further ado, let's get into it. These are all from the link above, "tenets of white supremacy in organizations" (and yes, a Discord server of 300+ people absolutely DOES count as an organization).

1. Sense of Urgency, such as prioritizing quick or highly visible results that can exclude potential allies. -> In the server, both server owner and problematic mods continued to emphasize that their "missteps" (i.e. racism) was due to needing to seek a solution ASAP for the good of the server.

2. Worshipping the Written Word, such as valuing strong documentation and writing skills. -> Rebuttals to POC/marginalized folks were constantly full of dictionary definitions, copied over.

3. Believing in Only One Right Way, such as concluding something is wrong with people who refuse to adapt or change. -> POC members and allies were banned when anger was expressed because OUR anger suddenly made it an "unsafe" space for the server owner and problematic mods.

4. Paternalism, such as decision-making processes that are only understood by those with power and unclear to those without it. -> Despite multiple server users disagreeing with the server owner's tactics (including the co-owner, who stepped down), Hann continued to defend + make decisions.

5. Defensiveness, such as spending energy trying to protect power or defend against charges of racism. -> There's too many examples to cite here. But in the end, it was claimed that the initial problem was solved. And then the problem mod was invited back. With additional defense of why.

6. Power Hoarding, such as feeling threatened when anyone suggests organizational changes. -> Instead of wanting to listen to marginalized identities, the server was threatened with a shut-down. Multiple people stepped up to take over as server owner. But power hoarding was more important so not only was the server shut down... it was resurrected from the dead to include their favorite (white) people. This leads us to...

7. Believing I’m the Only One, such as thinking that if something is going to get done right, then ‘I’ have to do it.

8. Fear of Open Conflict, such as equating the raising of difficult issues with being rude or impolite. -> The initial issue around the problematic phrase was ridiculously hush hush. POC members were banned for their (rightfully so) angry remarks.

9. Believing in Objectivity, such as considering emotions to be irrational and destructive to decision-making. -> Not just the server owner but the people who rushed to defend them and the problematic mods, claimed to be impartial and objective, based on their queer identities or other things. As humans, none of us can actually be objective and all of us are a little racist because racism is a systemic problem that we were raised under.

10. Claiming a Right to Comfort, such as scapegoating those who cause emotional or psychological discomfort. -> In the end, it was clear that only whiteness was valued when POC folks + allies were banned or made to feel uncomfortable enough to leave (such as myself).

I know I've only posted my thoughts/feelings vs documentation (which, you shouldn't always demand because see above for "worshipping the written word") but if this screenshot of the new rules for the new server doesn't convince you that something (racism/cult-ism) is wrong with these folks... I don't know what will.

TL;DR - Ownership and modding of a large Discord server doesn't make you a god. You are, unfortunately, still a puny mortal with the biases that come along with being as such. I'm sure it was a fun power trip for those involved but I am happy to expose the rotting underbelly in a way that I see fit.

In conclusion, I leave you with further reading that will help decolonize your mindset and has done a much better job at showing that the problems with the Kindergarten Mafia are not unique (as they claimed). It is one that those of us with marginalized identities face constantly and we are fucking tired of running into this and being treated in a way that emphasizes the problem with our existence in real life. Intersectionality and decolonization is what will actually liberate us, and without both, online spaces are simply the same reflections of real life.

At the very least, I hope it gives some of you food for thought.

(I will also post my Scathing Letter™ that was my last message in the server as a separate post because I am wordy AF and this is already too long.) [1/26/2024 update] Now with part 2 because apparently I had more things to say.

#decolonize fandom spaces #kindergarten mafia #online fandom #racism

55 notes · View notes

balkanradfem · 7 months

Text

So, I've decided to start learning biology.

My education left me with only primary school biology knowledge, because I had zero biology lessons in high school, and now I find myself sorely lacking in knowledge. Which is inconvenient, now that I'm sick and have no idea what to do. I didn't know where to start, but my roommate is in high school right now, and I borrowed her biology textbook to get myself started.

The biology textbook was so misinformed and outdated it made me worry for the education system. Not only they didn't update any info from the last 40 years, some of the info was completely wrong. For instance, it claims there's 6 billion people on the planet (there's 8), and that there's 6 empires of all living things (there's 8, and some of the old ones have been renamed and disputed). I learned quickly to fact-check every bit of information on wikipedia, and this is where I found some truly astounding info that I had no idea about.

If you all have learned this in highschool and it's common knowledge, please excuse me, but I am shocked.

One of the first topics the book covers is evolutionary history of the planet, and it explains how blue-green algae were the first historic plants to produce a lot of oxygen, which sounds like a positive development for us, because most of the living things right now thrive on oxygen. But, looking it up wikipedia uncovered that it was in fact, an extinction event. Most of life on earth was at that point, thriving in non-oxygen environment, and the introduction of oxygen killed 85% of all living species on earth. It was a huge disaster that happened! It's called 'Great Oxidation Event', or the 'Oxygen Catastrophe'.

But that's not all, I found out that it was not only that which destroyed almost all life on earth, but there's been 5 different events in the history that destroyed close to 80% of all species on the planet, and for some of them we don't even know why. We only found proof that lots of species disappeared at all times and the dominant species on the planet rapidly changed, but no idea why, for some of them it's assumed it has to do with volcanoes or ice, and of them that is well known is the meteor, that ended the big dinosaurs.

I never realized how much of evolution was destruction and then starting over, this was shocking to me. It was also fascinating, I found myself following links and learning more about extinction events, also that we're currently in the extinction event caused by humans who are driving lots of species into extinction by taking over their habitats, which made me sad.

At this point I started reading other, biology-related materials, for example, I read a book named 'What an Owl Knows', which is written by Jennifer Ackerman, an owl scientist who studied owls her entire life; now I know more about owls. I also started listening to an audio book about the ocean, and this one proved to be very difficult to follow, but I'll tell you what I learned from both.

The owl book was charming, I found out that owls are the most quiet, soundless birds when they fly, because their wings and feathers are the biggest part of their bodies. This is how they manage to swoop up prey without anyone hearing a single flap. They're also very silent and subtle. Unless you're studying owls, you won't be able to tell if the owl is startled, or scared, because she will sit very still and not give you any clues. Smaller owls can go into their 'freeze' response easily if they're being hunted, because their instinct is to be still and not move when in danger! It can make you feel like the owl is not scared, since she's not moving, but she is most likely not comfortable if anyone is approaching her.

Owls have similar faces to our faces, and they're very charismatic to us; this is why baby owls, and injured owls in human care, can sometimes imprint on humans. This is bad news for the owls, because once it happens, they can never again be released into the wild, they'll either never learn to hunt, or they'll act towards humans, like they do to other owls - brawling, attacking, aggressive, territorial. Even if they really like us, they will keep acting like we're other owl, not a different species. They see us similarly to how we see them.

One of the best information I've learned, is that in Serbia, there's the biggest gathering of owls of all species, there can be more than 300 owls in one place at the time. The reason for this is common use of old-fashined methods of harvesting grains, which leaves a lot of leftover corn and wheat on the ground, attracting mice, rats, and other small rodents, which creates a great food source for owls. Serbian farmers don't use rodenticide, so owls don't get poisoned. Owls so beloved and appreciated there, that they have an owl festival every year, and the whole month of november is called 'Sovember', because owl in serbian is 'sova'. I never knew about this, even though it's my neighbour country! I looked this up, and I found a website for the international owl festival, but I couldn't find any more info. I would appreciate it so much if any serbian followers could write me about this and tell me their experiences with it, I've never wanted to visit Serbia more!

The book contains information about owls used in Harry Potter movies, including the names of the owls, as well as discussing how the books made owls popular, and how it made people want them as pets. Owls do not make good pets, because they're predators and will destroy things and be very difficult to care for, but the book encourages readers to find the local owls and keep them safe, to leave old trees with holes in them standing, so the owls could nest in them, or to hang up baskets that can also be used as nests. It was a lovely, charming book and I recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about owls.

The ocean book is named 'How the Ocean Works', by Helen Czerski, and I haven't finished yet, but it opened up a lot of questions for me. The funniest part of it was the breakup of what people used to think about the ocean; apparently before research, people assumed that the sea is salty because it's been left in the sun for too long, and that's just what you get from sun exposure, they believed that deep down it was not salty anymore. They also believed that the sea water cannot go putrid if left standing. It took a scientist checking this to confirm it was not true; sea water did go putrid left in a bucket in the sun, and non-salty water did not turn salty when left in the sun for months. It was interesting to know that for the longest time, people didn't realize it was the salt in the sea that made it salty, I then wondered how they got salt, and it turns out they just got it from the salt mines, which are leftover from the long-dried up seas.

Now new information that I didn't know, was that the salinity is different between the oceans, the Atlantic is saltier than the rest. The book also explained about how the salt is connected to the currents, and to the movements of the sea, and also changes the density of the water. One thing that had me taken aback was that the ocean waves are not only caused by the wind, but the water is reacting to earth's rotation, and this rotation is constantly moving the water. It feels like the ocean is being pulled both by the earth and the moon, constantly being driven by planetary forces, which is interesting, because it's difficult to tell that just by looking.

The book calls ocean the 'blue machine', because it's always moving, and filled with energy. Sun is always warming up the surface, making it a great reservoir of solar energy, and the book goes on about how it's possible to harvest this energy, using hot water, and cold water, apparently there's already buildings being cooled down by the ocean power, but I never managed to figure out how! I tried looking it up, and also found nothing. I wish the book explained the physics of it, so that I could try it out, it's a great thing to be able to get power jut by using hot and cold water, and the water is already heated by the sun, while you can get cold water from the bottom of the sea.

I think I might understand this book better if I read it, rather than listening to the audiobook, which as you can see, just has me puzzled because I do not catch details. Still I wanted to share my new learnings, and ask if anyone can tell me more, or if this is all knowledge that people who had biology in high school already have. I'm having a great time learning, especially because I can just divert in any direction that has my interest, and I can seek out information that gives me useful, practical knowledge. Wish all learning processes could be free and inspired like this!

#biology #owls #ocean #evolution #extinction #learning biology #making up for lack of high school knowledge #information #resources #natural power #harvesting power from nature #ecology #international owl festival #serbia

77 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

Note

Am I the asshole for siding with my Dad and actively shit talking/giving points about things his wife is wrong for?

Using 🎸🎶 as my emojis so I don't get lost.

For context, I (17F) and my sisters (14F and 12F) have lived with divorced parents for the past almost 13 years, nearly our entire lives. Our Dad (38M) and our Mom (38F) got divorced long ago, and since both have been remarried and divorced. My dad is currently married to his third wife (37F) and things have gone to shit. They grew up together and reconnected through Facebook a while back and began to talk. Since early July, they reconnected around late June, we have; drove 40 hours to Ohio to see and meet Wife and her 3 daughters (15, 7 and 5 F), moved them down over 80 hours of back and forth with both pets and kids, lived in a small trailer house until we closed our half million dollar one, and now we live in an old 1940s house where Wife never has to work unless she wants to. My Dad provides for her and her three kids easily on his own due to owning a fraction of the company he works for, but money has been a little tight due to a lack of houses to work on and her excessive spending.

This morning was when it bubbled over. She woke him up 30 mins before he needed to have his trailer, and hour away to pick it up, and be in another city still 30 mins from there, to pick up a free dresser we do not have room for. While getting ready he was informed her two youngest did the dishes to ask for something, a habit they all have. And to be clear, they ONLY do chores to go places and do things, so the house is often trashed. My Dad boiled over after both things adding onto all the stress of caring for 8 people and only seeing his 3 kids 4 days a month, and it started a scream fight that she encouraged. She loves to rile him up and then play victim, and this time was no different. Despite being angry, he asks if she still wants to go get the dresser, and she says she won't ride with him even to talk it out or get the fifth dresser for their room. So me and my middle sister (14F, we'll call her D.) Go with. We get the trailer, get into town, and he calls to confirm the address. Rather than tell him, she plays hard to get to piss him off, and we leave instead, not getting the dresser and taking the trailer back. The entire way Dad, D and I air our grievances about the behavior of Wife and her kids, discussing habits we don't like and clarifying we aren't doing it to be mean. It turns out, she was also bitching about the laundry and how she does everything when I've only ever seen her do theirs and no other chores. My Dad offers to solve it by having his own basket for his own laundry and even cooking his own meals if that's what's bothering her. Instead, she takes off her wedding ring rather than accepting the solutions. We talks, discussing how yes, they've been through a lot, but so have we, and that doesn't excuse her behavior.

We get home and the fighting starts again rather quickly, we don't catch much before it dies out but he tries to reason with her. I paint and everyone is calm for a bit. Well, I'm sitting on my bed and the fighting starts again. D and I share a room right over the garage, where the fight was, and D drops to the floor to listen. Our Dad uses many of the points we brought up in the car, and it hits hard and rings true really. At some point Wife complains that we never talk to her, and Dad points out that she picks fights when we're here and we know what divorce sounds like and refuse to get attached. She calls him our for being married and divorced twice, and Dad gets petty and tells her he didn't have kids outside marriage. And finally she complains that we don't do anything, and my Dad points out that we're self sufficient and do everything when we're here. The fight continues, he keeps making points we all discussed on the way to and from the trailer and failed dresser retrieval, and he keeps bringing up the ring since he doesn't want to divorce again.

Anyways, its causing a rift and I haven't told anyone but my Mom that I helped supply points, but I just feel bad because I feel like I somehow made the fighting worse by mentioning all the shit she does and talks about him and us.

TLDR; Dad and new wife were fighting all day and my sister and I gave points and talked shit about what's been bothering us in the car and our Dad brought up those points in the fight.

So Tumblr, am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

72 notes · View notes

marabarl-and-marlbara · 1 month

Note

hi i wanted to know if u have any good book recommendations? they can be about anything rlly i just want to become smarter

hi anonymous;

you:re as smart as you need to be, and really: you should read books out of passion (and fun) in lieu of pure raw erudition--mostly cause i think that is a fast way to burn yourself out by forcing yourself to read through dry garbage you don:t really want to read (this sounds loaded, but countering what i:m saying: if you are suddenly passionate about pursuing Pure Mathematics and want to just dive into math textbooks: then pursue that passion :-)) );

i do have recommendations, though! but i don:t think they:ll make you smarter; my favorite book as a kid was Howl's Moving Castle (hated the movie, garbage), it:s just a very fun fantasy book and it rekindled my love for reading after a long stint of trying-to-be-smarter by pursuing philosophical trash;

i really really really loved Squee! and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac as a kid, too; my dad sent them to me as a gift when i was really young & probably one of the only things he sent me that i deeply loved; i wish i still had those books, i:ve really been wanting to re-read them;

read Crying of Lot 49 this year and it moved me a lot--made me really interested in Pynchon as a whole; I'd rope a handful of American authors into this actually: Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Flannery O'Connor's A Good Man is Hard To Find, Cormac McCarthy's Outer Darkness were all amazing surprises to me that just made me really appreciate American authors (sort-of doofy but I really did just appreciate this southern tradition of writers in an inspiring sort-of geographical way, like: I know these lands! I am soaked in this dust! I have this same odd bigotry in me!) -- but I think all of those works/authors are great and you probably can't go wrong with anything any of them have wrote;

I'm currently reading My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante and really enjoying it; the cover/name makes you think of some harlequin romance novel but it's basically a femcel manifesto on hating someone so obsessively that it is indistinguishable from love; I'm currently listening to Stephen King's Duma Key and enjoying it--I'm listening through a lot of King books, just finished From a Buick 8 (loved it) (I'd rope King into the 'loving American authors' thing, cause he was a part of my culture growing up, you know? as doofy as it is, I'm kinda happy to have grown up alongside his career and output and it's been fun to finally delve into his stories);

also finished Nabokov's Pale Fire recent-ish -- if you like stuff like House of Leaves you might like it (it sounds sinful to compare that book to Nabokov but it's pretty apt, too); it's one of the few books I've read that actually made me laugh, and Nabokov is a beautiful writer, and Pale Fire is a book with enough depth that I think a reader could go through it several times and pluck out something completely new each time.

I don't think any of these would make you smarter; funny as it is: I think the KJV Bible is a beautiful read but I don't think I'd suggest it outside of attending church wholly because part of the poetry of the Bible comes from studying the context of a passage and all the lenses that come with it (I'd actually consider studying the 'academic biblical' analysis of the Bible as a church itself, not in contrast with church apologia); you can find a lot of odd inspiration in the works of prophets ala Mary Baker, Ellen White, various Catholic saints, Joseph Smith, Hubbard (wink, but sincere, I like Hubbard), etcetera--but I feel like inspiration or passion leads you to those works rather than some dull desire to soak up another persons passions in hopes that'll saturate you with something you've been missing. Ex: if you want to be a Christian Scientist: read Mary Baker; but likely if you wanted to, you'd already be reading--as circling as that sounds.

Take care, anonymous.

28 notes · View notes

its-chelisey-stuff · 10 days

Text

My final thoughts on Lovely Runner!

Things I loved about this ending:

No more time travelling. I was SO SURE we were going to go back in time one more time and had been bracing myself for it. And after seeing all these theories online, I really thought the one who was gonna go back in time was Sunjae. Beyond glad I was wrong about this. I was kinda dizzy with all these travels in time.

The way Sunjae got all of his memories from all the timelines back. I know it's technically the same person but the fact that the Sunjae we first met in the drama was fed up with everything and full of guilt always made me sad. That man needed a happy ending more than any of his "versions" lol I'm happy he got that and knew he was loved and saved, time and time again, by the girl he loved.

One hour of fluff! I'm so used to dramas pulling one last annoying twist in the final hour, that I'm pleasantly surprised it wasn't the case here. We got one hour of our leads being happy and in love. The romcom was romcom-ing till the last minute.

Taesung is officially the best second male lead in the history of kdramas. I don't accept any arguments. It's the truth. His character served a purpose and was key to ending that ill fate otp had with the psycho killer. He had the brain cells when our leads didn't lol And I love the fact that his friendship with Sol put him on the right path in life to become such a great detective and person. In a way, just like Sunjae, Sol's love for him, also saved his life.

Having said all this, and stating that this is gonna be a hard drama to top, I stand by the fact that romcoms in kdramas should be 12 episodes. Up until last year, some had been done that way and I don't know if this is somehow a controversial take to have, but I do believe this drama wasn't the exception *hides underneath the table*

Listen, I don't think it "dragged" because a lot of things were indeed happening, but my obsession for the story peaked at ep 8. If we never got a reason or backstory for the killer (which I don't hate but still why bring him in the first place? lol) we didn't need to expand the story another 8 eps. What we got instead, was more pain and trauma inflicted on the main leads, especially on Sol. Just to... what? Get even with Sunjae's love and own regrets?

Getting even with him and showing she loved him just as much, for me, was Sol going back in time to save him. I didn't need a "sacrifice" on her part to know that.

They were so cute this ep lol

Finally, I guess it's kind of poetic that Sol became devoted to Sunjae to the point of traveling time and space to save him, because of his songs, and once that purpose was served, he no longer had to be a singer in the new timeline. His love was why he wrote and made those songs. When he had no memories of Sol, there was no reason to longingly sing for her, but I still found it a bit sad. Like something was lost, you know? But this is me just being picky hahahah the fangirl in me will never like to lose the memories I have made thanks to the music I've loved.

And I guess in the end, it's kind of romantic only Sol and Sunjae remember those songs. Like a little souvenir between the two of how epic their love story was.

lol always a loser till the end.

#lovely runner #kim hye yoon #byeon woo seok #song geon hee #i did like that sunjae was bit upset at sol when he got his memories back #it didn't last but at least he got to tell her she had not right #in a way hahaha

53 notes · View notes

mikachacha · 7 months

Text

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚘𝚘 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛) 𝙿𝚝. 7

Synopsis: you got fed up by Bada constantly seeking you out so you finally confront her in hopes that she would stop.

Warnings: angst, cursing, reader revisits the trauma and pain caused by Bada

(A/N: writing this hurt my heart because damn, this story is a wild ride)

Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

As the show progressed, you would've expected Bada to stop bothering you but you were definitely wrong. Not only did she actively seek you out but she'd do everything just for you to notice her and talk to her which annoyed you to no end. You just wanted to live your life in peace and do your work in peace but she's definitely not gonna give you that. You're honestly tired and just wanted to move on so one afternoon, you dragged her outside so you could talk in private. You caught Yeni's eye on your way out and she gave you a thumbs up which made you smile and calmer on the inside. Things with Yeni have been doing great, that you would say. She's the complete opposite of Bada but you told her that you weren't ready yet, not until you're finally sure that you're over with Bada and it will only happen if you guys talk, which is happening right now.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Does it cause you excruciating pain whenever you see me happy that's why you always try and ruin it?! Look, you've already won three years ago. You already broke me down, you already made me lose myself while loving you so what more do you want?! I've given you everything! Gave you all my love, gave you all of me but it wasn't enough for you. It wasn't enough.. Always not enough.." you felt all of the pain came crashing back again as you're alone there with Bada. You were crying but you stood your ground.

"Y/N- It's not that.. I just wanted-" Bada started but you cut her off. You have so much anger that's been pent up for years and you just wanted to let it all out on her. You want her to feel the pain you felt all those years from what she did to you.

"Of course it's gonna always be what you wanted.. Have you ever thought about what I wanted? Have you ever thought about anyone else other than yourself? Fuck! I thought I was okay already. I thought I was healed from all the pain you brought but I was damn wrong.. Our past still haunts me to this day, did you know that? I couldn't bring myself to love someone new because I'm scared all of them will end up like you! Someone who just takes me for granted and takes my love for granted.. Why did you do that to me, Bada? Why??" you asked and Bada just looked at you, her own tears falling as she watched you cry in front of her, asking her why she did those things to you.

"Y/N please.. Listen to me. Even just this last time. I swear I'm not gonna bother you anymore. I know what I did has no excuse. I played with you, I hurt you, I took you for granted. I was an asshole. I thought I could get away with everything because I was rising to the top. But when you went back to the states, I realized how much of an idiot I was because at that moment I lost the one real thing I've ever known which was your love. I know my apology won't be able to fix this, sorry will not take back the pain I caused you. That it won't magically turn back time so I could make things better and take away the trauma I have caused. But please, even if I have to beg and kneel in front of you, please at least let me make it up to you.." Bada then proceeded to kneel in front of you, crying as she held your hands and continued to ask you for a chance to make it up to you even just as your friend. The once proud Bada Lee is just crying and begging, much like you did three years before.

Your own knees gave out as you continued to cry. You resent her for doing all those things to you but you also wanted to forgive her so you can also move on with your life. You know you won't be to love someone truly if you keep the baggage of the past and hold you down. You need to let go of it, forgive Bada and yourself for the things that had happened between you.

You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't notice you and Bada were hugging each other, crying and her apologizing to you repeatedly until she was hoarse. Team Bebe had to get her and Yeni brought you to Wolf'Lo's hideout so she can take care of you and make sure you're okay. She had admitted that she's in love with you and that she's willing to wait for you until you're ready to love once more. She supported you, showed you that love can also be a beautiful thing. Yeah it can hurt sometimes but it doesn't have to be all of the time. She's been nothing but patient and caring for you and you feel so bad that you can't reciprocate the feelings she has for you. You just can't bring yourself to love her back especially when you still haven't fully let go of the pain Bada caused.

"I'm sorry, Yeni.. I'm really sorry.." you sobbed as she cuddled with you on the couch. She just kisses the top of your head and rubs your back in a comforting manner like she always does when you cry.

"Jagiya.. There's nothing to be sorry about. I know you're hurting, I know that the wounds of the past haven't fully healed yet but I'm still gonna be here. I won't go off to love someone else when you're still healing. I'm gonna be with you until the day comes you're ready to share your life with me." Yeni says and you just hugged her. If only you met her sooner then none of this would've happened. You're thankful to have her by your side and you couldn't ask for anyone better.

"Thank you, Yeni.. Thank you for not giving up on me and for loving despite all this.. I just hope you can still wait for me." you said as you finally fell asleep from how exhausted you felt from all that crying. Yeni smiled a bit and pressed a kiss on your head.

"I'll wait for you Y/N, no matter how long it takes." she says and just lets you rest.

Meanwhile, Bada had to be attended to by medics. She passed out from how much she cried. Her guilt from seeing how pained you were by her actions three years before just became too much. She regrets everything and just wishes to be able to at least make it up to you, or take all of the pain she inflicted so you could find love again because everyone knows you deserve that. Bada knows you deserve to be loved, to be cherished and to be taken care of. You didn't deserve to be hurt, to be abused, to be taken for granted. You didn't deserve any of that. You were way too good, you were way too pure and Bada wasted all that.

"We should've seen this behaviour years ago.. I thought they were okay. I never knew that Y/N endured so much behind closed doors." Lusher sighs, they heard everything as they were looking for Bada to consult on a routine earlier.

"I hope they both find happiness and that they both forgive themselves from the things that happened between them since no one could change the past.." Tatter says as they watched the medics telling Bada to breathe and to not think of anything else as she began crying again. It was a heartbreaking sight but no one could do anything about it. Only you and Bada could fix this.

———;

@lil-elliesgf @efyyylee @hwm1hyun @mikaleialt @bunnywonyo @badaswifey @mrs-grim-reaper @b1ackbunny @wifey-badalee

#bada lee #swf2 #bada lee x reader #swf2 x reader #bada x reader #lee bada #bada lee imagine #bada fanfic #yeni cho

114 notes · View notes

dirtybitfic · 26 days

Text

COMPANY pt 1

Matt Sturniolo x y/n

contains~ business meeting , fight , slight degrading , little bit of flirting.

y/n pov -

Its currently 4 am and the only reason i'm awake is because my boss called me . I try my best not to fall back asleep as he goes on and on about shit I need to do before todays big meeting. Don't get me wrong I like my job but sometimes my boss drives me insane. I didn't sleep well last night which is not helping the current situation .

*phone call*

Matt - Y/n are you even listening right now

Y/n - Sorry yes mr sturniolo I'm just trying my best to stay awake right now

Matt - Well I will let you go back to bed but you better have things ready when I get to the office am I clear

y/n- yes sir I will have it ready

Matt- Good girl ill see you at 12

Y/n - yep see you in the afternoon

*phone call ends*

I woke back up around 8 and made my way to the office .

I always make it a point to look classy and wear business attire especially when we have big meetings like today. I wear an outfit that I know I look good in but comfortable enough I can sit through 3 hours and write notes for my boss.

I finished up my last task Mr. Sturniolo had giving me on the call earlier and sat at my desk waiting for him to arrive. I've been his assistant for about a year and a half. He's a pretty good boss though he can be harsh and assertive with me at times I try not to take it offensively .I know he just likes things a specific way .

I've been sitting for about 40 minutes when I get call from my boss and I immediately pick it up even though I don't exactly want too

*phone call*

y/n-hey mr sturniolo

matt-hi y/n I just called to tell you that the meeting has been pushed back too 1:30 our clients flight got delayed

y/n- Okay sounds good sir I just finished up the final touches on the presentation and the meeting room is set up and ready

Matt- Atta girl! thank you for getting all that done . Im sorry for calling you at 4 am I know it wasn't the best time

Y/n- Its okay I know you like things done perfectly so im not upset

Matt- Good well I'm parked down stairs and was about to go grab some coffee would you like to come with me?

Y/n- Sure why not ill head down now

Matt- Okay I took the blue convertible today so I have one of the claw clips you left in it a couple weeks ago so your hair doesn't get messed up

Y/n- Oh good thank you

Matt- Of course see you in a couple

Y/n- Yep heading down now bye

*Call ends*

One thing about my boss is he notices the little things most don't for example him knowing I wouldn't want to mess up my hair and keeping the clip in the car just incase I needed it. I know its just a small gesture but it makes me feel some type of way , a way I definitely should not be feeling about my boss. We have a slight age gap given he's 27 and i'm 23 which is yet another reason I should not have the thoughts that I do about him quit often.

I Made my way down to the private parking garage and walked around until I spotted my favorite car Mr Sturniolo owns. Obviously everyone loves a convertible but his is just perfection.

"Hey!" I greet him as I open the door and slide into my seat.

"Hi Good morning " he he greets me with a small smile.

" New suit?" I ask as I look over him noticing i've never seen him wear this suit.

" Yes actually it is" he says with a sigh .

" You don't like it do you?" I ask as I can tell from the sigh and his facial expressions he doesn't seem very excited about it.

" No I hate wearing colored suits but my brother insisted I wear it for todays meeting" he says with an eye roll making me laugh.

" Well for what its worth I think it looks good ... It brings out your eyes" I say smiling over at him.

he return the smile before asking where I want to go for coffee.

I told him to go to Philz so he heads there.

One thing that we do share is music taste so riding around with him is always good. We were listening to "Everlong by the foo fighters" when my phone started to ring.

I look down to see it is my ex who had recently broken up with me . I sigh as I immediately hit decline . He cheated on me for an entire year with a woman who owns a large art gallery and I only found out because I went with matt to buy art for his new penthouse he moved into and saw my boyfriend walking out of her office with lipstick on his face and an untied tie around his neck. Safe to say my boss saw a side of me I wished he never had.

I yelled at him for an hour outside the gallery when he finally broke up with me telling me " I don't love you anymore ... I actually never really did I just liked your body and living with you in your nice ass apartment " so obviously I punched him in the face and he cried like a bitch when I ended up "accidentally" breaking it .

Matt watched the entire thing and safe to say we did not end up buying anything from HER gallery. When we had gotten back to the car Matt had praised me for the way I handled myself and said he was proud of me for breaking his nose .

I felt bad acting how I did in front of him but i'm glad he didn't judge nor fire me for it.

" Zach again" he asks as he pulls into the parking lot giving me his full attention.

" Yes hes been trying to call me all week and I have been ignoring him " I answer as I throw my head back letting out a deep breath.

" They say you never know what you had until its gone . I have known your for a while now and I don't understand why he would cheat on you " he answers in a tone that shows anger and annoyance.

Im glad I have a boss who cares about me outside of work even though some would deem a conversation like this unprofessional it's very normal in our relationship.

"Yeah I don't know either but i'm over it I just want him to leave me alone" I answer ending it with a long sigh and looking over at him.

" Im sorry he's such an ass but we should go in and get our drinks and head back to the office" he answers as turns the car off and unlocks the doors.

I nod as we get out and make our way into Philz and order our drinks Matt always makes it a point to never let me pay which I appreciate but with the amount he pays me i'm very capable of buying my own coffee. I mean shit I live in a 3 bedroom open floor apartment all by myself , Just goes to show I make more than enough money.

We get our drinks and make our way back to the office to get settled in before the meeting.

As we were getting the projector up and running my phone started ringing again . I turn the ringer off and throw it in my bag rolling my eyes. It doesn't go unnoticed by matt when I catch a small smirk runs cross his lips. He doesn't smile too much , I notice that he only really smiles around his family and sometimes me if i'm lucky . He's intimidating which is one reason I was so scared when I first got the job but the thing that kept me going was one day about a month into working for him his mom came into the office and told me that I must be special because he went through 25 interviews before me and he had met me , He was very specific about how he wanted his assistant to act and behave and shockingly I guess that was me. He may have "liked me" but for the first year and a half he was cold and standoffish with me , he would practically ignore me unless he needed me for something or when he would tell me the things that needed to be done for the week.

He finally started warming up to me sometime last year and i'm really glad he did it makes the job 10 times better and enjoyable when he acknowledges and speaks to me .

I sat in my chair by the large windows as I zoned out looking over the city but was snapped out of it when our front desk guy told us through the intercom our clients were on the way up.

This new client we have is actually very exciting . The company that matt owns is a luxury advertisement production company . We make advertisements and plans on ways to promote products and grow the businesses me work with.

Our new client who is on their way up right now is a wine company . Their vineyards are located in the south of France and they have made a new champagne that is flavored with different fruits. They created a new flavor line which is peach, passion fruit , Pear and guava. At first I was skeptical of how well these flavors would taste and if they would really sell or not but after sampling them all I knew they were going to make amazing profit from the new collection.

I sat through thirty minutes of the meeting when my phone continuously rang and vibrated with calls and texts. I knew it was my ex and I started to get fed up so I stopped taking notes so I could just power off my phone.

I grabbed it from my bag with a roll as I saw 6 missed calls and 15 text messages that he had sent in the span of 30 minuets and started powering off my phone .

" You're assistant seems to be more interested in her phone than the importance of this meeting. I must say this is very unprofessional" I hear as my head snaps up and I make eye contact with one of our clients. He glares at me as he scolds me for being on my phone.

" i'm sorry I was just powering it off beca-" I try and explain myself but he immediately cuts me off before I get the chance.

" I don't want to hear any excuses . You need to learn how to respect the people who want to work with your company " he scoffs with a rude eye roll and I cant help the tears that start to fill my eyes.

I look at matt panicking but find him staring at me with an agreed look .

" i'm sorry would you excuse us for a second" matt says as he comes over pulling me out of my chair by my arm and dragging me out o the room.

"I-im sorry I didn't mean to-" I start to say as the tears stream down my face.

" Y/n you need to understand these are very important clients and if this goes right not only I will make a lot of money but so will you . I don't like the way he spoke to you but I will not compromise this deal by saying something to him. So we will take a few minutes for you to calm down and make him think that I set you straight and we will go back in" he says as he places a soft hand on my back soothing me .

I nod " yes sir" I answer as I calm my breathing and look up at him.

We keep eye contact as his eyes seem to grow darker . Something in me stirs as his hand moves up and down slowly on my back at some points getting so low he could grab my ass if he felt inclined too . I hater to say it but his soothing actions are turning me on. Ive always felt a tension between us but I used it aside just telling myself its his cold personality that makes every situation slightly intense .

He moves his hand to my chin holding it and moving my head up to really look at him . He slightly smiles " You calm down?" he asks in a deep voice that for some reason has me clenching my legs together.

"Yes sir i'm sorry for crying I just -"

"I know you don't like being patronized infant of people i've learned that throughout the years you've worked for me . Just be glad your well behaved or you'd really hate me " he says with what sounds like a small chuckle.

" why would I hate you?" I question as I step slightly closer.

"i'm not one to tolerate people misbehaving or defying me . You should know that by now" he answers in a more gravelly voice that has me clenching around nothing .

" right well umm should we go back in " I say in a wavering voice but clear my throat to try and play it off.

He smirks at me but nods his head .

He leads me back to the conference room with a hand on my lower back .

Im moving to open the door but stop when he start whispering to me.

" make it look like I corrected you okay " he whispers before opening the door .

I walk in as I distort my face to make it look as though I am upset and I move quickly to my seat and choose not to even look up at anyone .

I grab my computer and get to typing as matt starts back on the presentation and the clients make their comments and requests .

After about an hour the meeting comes to and end and they decide to go with us for their campaign.

" Me and my wife would like for you to come down to our vineyard in say 4 weeks and shoot promo videos and get photos for the videography does that time frame work for you Mr. Sturniolo?"

the man who blatantly degraded me asks as matt looks to me.

"y/n is the calendar clear that week?" he asks and I pull up his calendar that I schedule and go over it.

" Yes looks like there is only one meeting that week but its with gloria i'm sure we can reschedule it" I answer as I smile at both of them.

"Amazing well my wife is very excited for this campaign . She can be a bit much but what woman isn't right" he says jokingly to matt .

Matt smiles and nods as he leads him out of the office and to the elevator.

I audibly sigh and roll my eyes at his misogynistic comments , safe to say i'm not exactly thrilled ill have to deal with that man on a normal bases but its worth the money so I guess i'll just have to live with it.

Matt comes back in groaning and running his hands through his hair.

" I really do not like that guy" he says making me laugh.

" Trust me neither do I" I say making him chuckle and shake his head.

" He wants us to stay at his estate but I kindly declined . I told him We have many work calls we take and we wouldn't want to be a disruption " he says with a smirk .

I smile widely nodding my head

" Thank god I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house with that man for a day let alone an entire week" I say making him laugh.

" I'll book the hotel so you won't have to worry about that and we'll take the company jet " he says as he grabs his bag and powers off the projector.

" You sure I don't mind dealing with the hotel bookings" I say as I pack up my things as well.

" Yes I have a favorite hotel i've gone too many time there and I know they will give us amazing rooms and the view is amazing" he says as he walks over to me .

" Oh okay" I say smiling up at him.

His hand goes to my jaw like earlier as he moves his thumb softly back and forth .

I lean into the touch as he looks at me deeply like he's studying my soul.

" You did good today I know you're dealing with calls from that asshole and I appreciate you were powering off your phone " he says as he steps him closer to me .

I sigh as I avert my eyes

" Im sorry for causing our client to think of our company as less then because of my actions though" I say still not looking up at him.

" You did nothing wrong you're always a very good girl he's just an asshole who clearly doesn't respect woman"

I blush as I look up at him . His use of the term "good girl" today has gotten me feeling things I shouldn't.

He looks at me as I look up at him .

" If you ever need anything you call me okay . I know i'm your boss but I want you to consider me a friend too " he says as his hand slides down my neck to my shoulder.

His touch leaves goose bumps in its wake which i'm embarrassed about and I can tell he noticed my body reaction by the smirk that grows across his face.

" Yes sir I just wouldn't want to burden you with my problems you have enough to deal with as it is" I answer honestly .

He shakes his head sighing

" Sweetheart you could never be a burden no matter how hard you tried . You're the first assistant i've had for longer than 4 months which can only mean I like you very much and that is rare" he says making me smile .

" Thank you sir I like this job a lot and I hope to keep it for a very long time" I say as I step slightly closer . Our chest are almost flush against each other , im so close I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

" Trust me i'm not letting you go anytime soon " he says in a deep gravely voice that makes me feel such dirty things a literal whimper escapes me .

My eyes widen as I clear my throat and avert my eyes from his.

He grabs my face and turns it to face him again

" Did you just whimper " he asks with a smirk .

" What n-no I was clearing my throat" I say in a panic .

" Are you lying to me y/n " he asks in a teasing tone that almost has be whimpering again.

" No sir " I answer but avoid eye contact.

" Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth" he says in a demanding tone .

I feel as though i'm shrinking into myself as I look up at him .

" Im not lying to you I promise" I say as convincingly as I can.

" You better hope you're telling the truth" he says in a darker deeper voice that has me gulping .

" A-and why is that" I ask as I try and take a step back but bump into the table behind me.

" I don't like liars . Do know what bad lying little girls get y/n " he asks as he steps even closer and i'm forced to sit on the edge of the table as his body is positioned in-between my legs. If anyone where to walk in right now this would be a very compromising position to be in .

" No sir I-i don't" I say .

His entire demeanor changes his large presence now dark and cold as his hand moves to my neck pulling me closer as I gasp in shock.

"They get punished" he kind of growls more than speaks . My mouth opens but no words come out .

He lets go and steps back and goes back to his normal calm demeanor .

I sit in shock as he grabs his bag and starts walking to the door.

"Goodbye y/n see you Tuesday" he says in a kind of sing song tone that has me scoffing. He obviously finds it funny to leave me wet and speechless.

We've never had a moment like that sure we've had weird moments where a little flirting was involved but nothing like what the fuck that just was.

I hop off and grab my bag before rushing down the hall to the elevator . The second I get into my car I scream .

I don't exactly know why I did but it felt great.

I start up my car and put on my nighttime playlist and pull out of the parking garage and pull onto the bright light city roads.

The second I got home I went through all the messages and voicemails from Zach .

15 missed calls from Zach

37 missed texts

all consisting of " call me back" " Im sorry" " I love you so much please" " Fucking bitch answer me" " God your a cunt this is why I cheated on you" and a lot more .

I hate the fact that after listening to three of his voicemails i'm in full tears curled up on my floor in front of my huge floor to ceiling windows.

Im snapped out of my daze when I hear 5 loud bangs on my door . I jump up as my heart pounds . My apartment is the only one on this floor so its not like whoever it is has the wrong apartment .

I slowly make my way to the door when the bangs happen again this time harder .

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR Y/N" I hear Zach's voice from the other side .

I panic even more as I slowly go to open the door . The second I turn the lock the door barely open and a fuming Zach marches his way in.

He comes at me so fast I have no time to react . One hand is wrapped tightly around my neck as the other is grasping my hair so tightly I feel like my scalp is on fire.

" You think you're so fucking cute ignoring me huh don't you " he practically spits in my face.

" You-- cheated on me a-and broke up with me w-why are you mad" I choke on as I gasp for in in his tight hold.

" Don't you dare fucking speak to me like that . I said I was sorry but you just want to be a spoiled fucking bitch and ignore my calls" he bites out as his grip on my hair tightens and I scream out in pain.

" You think you are so perfect don't you good fucking too shoes but your just a pathetic little bitch who's unlovable " he shouts in my face as tears start to steam down my face and I cough as I try and pry his hand from my throat.

" I tried to love you I did but you are just so insufferable to be around you know that god your always so pleasant you never do anything bad you're fucking boring all you do is work and come home and sit around doing nothing like a pathetic little loser " He spits as he shoves me into the wall making me yelp.

His hand connects to my face as his fist hits my eye .

He has never acted like this before let alone hit me .

He immediately lets go and steps away also in shock of what he just did .

" I c-cant believe you actually j-just p-punch-ed m-ee" I say in a gasping panicked voiced.

"I-im sorry y/n I ... I didn't mean to I " he says as he steps further away with fear across his face.

"GET OUT GETH THE FUCK OUT " I scream as I fall to the floor and cry .

he runs out closing the door on his way.

My head is pounding my eyes isn't opening correctly and I haven't gotten off the floor in 2 hours.

My phone starts ringing making me jump but I turn it over to see "Matt Sturniolo(boss)" calling .

I don't answer because of the state i'm in and the last thing I want is my boss knowing wtf just happened .

I get a text

" y/f/m/l/n you better answer your phone this is very important" it reads. Judging by the fact he literally just used my full name I know I have to choice to answer his second call to me.

*phone call*

"H-hello" I say as I sniffle and try to make it sound like i'm not crying and my voice isn't stringed.

" Hey I know its late but the clients from today actually want us to come down Tommorrow and stay until the following Sunday and I already cancelled all the appointments this week that were a conflict so I need you up and ready at 10 am Tommorrow I will pick you up at 10 and well head to the airport" he rambles . I panic not knowing what to do I cant say i'm sick because he'll know thats a lie .

I stay silent as I continue sniffling trying to mask my situation .

" y/n are you there ? " he asks in a slightly worried tone.

"Y-yes its just that ... I can't leave Tommorrow " I say as my voice breaks with the last word.

" What why you obviously don't work Tommorrow so what is wrong?" he asks in more of an interrogational tone .

" I j-just cant okay " I bite back as tears start to stream down my face again.

" Y/n what's wrong are you crying " he asks his tone now soft.

"n-no " I try and say without giving away that i'm lying but obviously fail.

" I can hear you sniffling and your voice is choked up tell me what's wrong" he says in a sweet voice .

I sigh loudly " Zach came by earlier and he ..." I stop myself from finishing my sentence not wanting to tell my boss about the embarrassing events .

" He what y/n" his voice sounding slightly angry now.

" He yelled at me and said really hurtful things and then he ... he punched me " I answer in a squeaky raspy tone.

" HE HIT YOU" matt yells from the other side of the phone

"Y-yes" I say as more tears stream down my face .

"Thats it I'm coming to you is your door unlocked " he ask as I hear keys rattle in the background.

"Wait what n-no don't come here" I say in a panic . I do not want him seeing me like this its for one embarrassing and two he's my boss he shouldn't be coming to my apartment .

" Don't tell me no i'll be down there in 5 minutes that door better be unlocked"

I go to protest but the line goes dead.

As much as I love my apartment it doesn't help that Matt lives in the penthouse at the top floor of the building meaning he has easy access to come and see me if he really wants to hence why hell be down in 5 minutes .

I sit on my floor as I try and at least stop the crying before he gets here.

As i'm sitting calming myself my door opens and in walks matt.

I turn away from the door so he doesn't see my face.

" y/n where are y- why are you on the floor?" his voice rings as steps approach me .

I shrugged but burry my face in my arms .

I feel him sit next to me as his scent fills my nose . I sigh but still don't bring my head up .

" y/n look at me" he says in a soft sweet tone.

"No " I say as I shake my head .

"Y/n please you're safe with me you know that i'm not going to judge you" he says as his large hand soothe up and down on my back .

Im so embarrassed that at my grown age I'm crying infant of my fucking boos.

I lift my head and look at him as a look of anger and pain washes over his face.

" sweetheart" he whispers as he immediately pulls me into his chest cradling me . I feel as though i'm a little girl girl again being rocked back to sleep after a nightmare . I being sobbing in his arms as I choke out all the horrible things Zach called me and said to me.

" You are non of those things. Don't think for a second that what he says is true , You're are amazing , sweet, hard working and strong . He is a crazy ass motherfucker who didn't deserve you in the first place" he says as he rocks me slightly .

I for some reason feel inclined to crawl into his lap and bury my face in his chest . I know this entire situation should not be happening right now but I cant stop myself from doing it.

The thing is he lets me he pulls me closer as he smooths my hair and holds me to his chest tightly .

After god knows how long i've stopped crying and my breathing has become somewhat controlled.

I unbury my head from his chest and look up at him .

He smiles weakly

" My sweet girl" he says as his hand gently runs across my face wiping some tears away . I wince when his hand grazes my eye area.

" where are your pain meds ?" he asks as he runs his hand through my tossed hair .

" My bedside table" I answer in a whispered and exhausted tone.

" Alright come on lets get you upstairs " he says as he picks me up off his lap setting me on the ground and standing up then extending his hand to me , I take it as he pulls me up then follows me up the stairs to where my room is .

he tells me to get into bed as he runs down to the kitchen getting me water and rushing back up .

" which table right or left?" he asks .

I try and remember which one but cant so I just shrugged and answered that I couldn't remember so he goes to the rightsize on first .

He opens it and his mouth pops open as he looks at me .

"w-what are they in there " I ask in confusion as to why he looks shocked .

he just stares as me and slowly shakes his head .

It dawns on me after a couple seconds that that is the one I keep my "personal items in" . My body flys up in bed as I rush to close the drawer .

" Im so sorry I forgot about keeping those in that one I ... god thats so embarrassing.

" I never thought of you as the type to own things like that" he says with a laugh making me groan and hide my face in a pillow.

"Im only messing around with you , i'm not uncomfortable about seeing that its normal" he says as he walks to the other table finding the Advil and pouring out two in his hand .

" Take these to her with the swelling before it gets worse" he says as he walks over to me .

" were seriously just going to breeze over the fact that you ... my boss just say my ... "

" toys yes now take these" he says shoving his hand in my face . I sigh as I take them out of his hand and toe them into my mouth then take the water he had in his hand and swallow them down.

" Now i'm going to help you pack . Where are your suitcases " he says as he start walking around my room searching .

" You're actually joking right there is no way I can go looking like this" I say in a bratty tone . I didn't mean to use that tone its just the way it came out.

" First of all watch your tone but yes you're still coming and it will get better in a day or two and we don't have to start the campaign shooting until Tuesday so we can just stay in until then or when we go out you can just wear sunglasses. Now suitcases where are they?"

I groan but point to the door "hallway closet " I say as I yawn .

He nods and walks to the door opening it and coming back 5 seconds later with two suitcases in hand.

" Okay what do want to pack first pants, shirt ...? " he ask as he sets them out on the couch I have on the wall opposite my bed.

"Well I usually pack pants first "

" Okay where are your pants" he asks looking at me .

" Bottom three rows in the closet" I answer

" Any specific ones you want ?" he asks

" You know what how about you pick 4 pairs and i'll say yes or no " I say as I getting extra comfy in bed .

" Yes ma'am " he says jokingly as he makes his way to my large walk in closet.

He comes out 2 minutes later with 4 pairs in hand.

He holds up the first pair , I nod and he smiles " I really like these ones" he says as he happily packs them in my bag.

Second pair - I happily nod and he packs them.

Third pair - I dead pan as he laughs actually laughs . " You've gotta be kidding those were all the way at the back " I say as I give him a look. " why do you even own these " "They were part of a halloween costume like 2 years ago" he just shakes his head and sets them aside .

Fourth pair - " Matt this is a business trip" I say as a I shake my head no . " I know that sweetheart but we don't have to be in business attire the whole time" " I guess your right okay yes pack those"

"Okay next skirts pick 3 they are hung on the left side along with the dresses pick tow of those" I instruct him as I try and stay awake .

He comes back out with a big smile which i'm finding slightly unsettling given ive never seen him so cheerful before

dress one - " absolutely not"I say. He sighs and sets it aside

Dress two - I smile and nod yes . He neatly packs it

Skirt one - immediate yes

Skirt two - Yes

After 45 more minutes i'm fully packed except for underwear and socks.

"Okay last things are undergarments " he says as he looks at me waiting for to tell him where they are.

" Don't worry about those ill pack those in the morning " I say as I wave him off.

" I have a feeling if I let you do that you'll forget " he says as he tilts his head . I hate to admit but he probably right.

" fine okay top shelf of the drawers on the right wall" I say as my face flushes red. My boss definitely should not be handling my underwear and bras but at this point i'm to tired to care.

"wow these are organized so nicely" I hear him say from inside my closet.

Their's silence for a second before he comes out with a handful of my sets with a smirk on his face.

He sets them on top as well as socks .

"Okay done now shoes " I tell him where the shoes are and he picks all good options so that was easy.

He packs up my makeup and skincare bag putting them in the suitcase with the shoes .

" Okay fully packed and ready to go" he says as he pushes both cases by the door .

"Thank you Sir you really didn't have to do all of this" I say sincerely

" First of all as much as I love you calling me sir when we are outside the office call me matt you calling me sir makes me feel fucking old" he says with a smile.

I choke on air at his beginning comment with makes him chuckle.

" Im grateful I have you as a boss matt"

" Im great full to have you as my assistant y/n "

We both share smiles before he turns on my ceiling fan and comes and sits on the edge of my bed.

" I want you to know I genuinely do care about you y/n not just because you are my assistant but because your all around a great girl " he says as his pulls his hand on my comforter covered leg giving it small shake.

" Thank you matt really I couldn't ask for a better boss" I smile at him with half open eyes.

" I'll let you get some rest and ill take your extra key so you can sleep as long as you can and ill just come down and grab your bags and make sure your up and awake by 10" he says as he pats my leg and stands up.

" You sure I don't mind setting and alarm " I ask .

" Im sure now get some sleep and ill see you in the morning "

"Okay well see you in the morning and thank you again really "

" Of course . Good night y/n "

" Good night matt"

God what the fuck just happened ...

#matt sturniolo #fanfiction #dirty nasty #boss

24 notes · View notes