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#I've Been Waiting For You has me on the floor every time okay
softlyapollo · 11 months
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inkskinned · 1 year
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i'm used to it, and how bad it is, and how often it's so bad that it rings like a bell inside of me, drowning out everything around me. and the truth is that i get frustrated with myself about it - again? we're like this still? again? it's not that i feel weak, precisely. it's just this sense almost like - i've already been pushing against this thing for years now, shouldn't i have gained more ground?
i get frustrated because i'm sick of picking up the loose ends every six months. i get frustrated because it's always this same shit, same problem - i lose myself in a matter of months; spiral out of control, lose touch with friends and loved ones. i stop taking care of myself and therapy gets hard and i let everything around me wilt and shrivel and fall off; start somehow both sleeping too much and not-enough. i panic-attack and cry in my car in a target parking lot, pulling my hair out and hurting my ribs from sobbing so hard - and later, when i'm better, i'm embarrassed because how could i let it get that far?
it feels like - i already have done this so many times. isn't there a way out of it? isn't there a point where i've just... won? that it never happens again, that i just get to be done? maybe this is weakness, i guess - that i still (so often!) succumb.
i am used to it, so i forget exactly how hard it gets. do you even know how many times i've laid in bed, exhausted, blank and numb and listless and said - i can't anymore. i just can't. i'm not even really upset. it's okay. i've been here long enough. so much of my life was beautiful.... i'm just... done.
do you know how many times i woke up and i said - i can't and put my feet on the floor and said i can't, i don't want to and took a shower and walked the dog and bought myself fresh bread and put a nice playlist on and said i really can't, there's no end to this and i went to work and i called a friend and i made myself cookies even if food tasted like ashes and decided that i really should wait for the new album from that artist i love and i thought i can't, it's not worth it and then i washed my hands and cut my hair and drank more water and wrote a poem and signed up for an art class at the local community college and said i can't, i can't, i won't do this again, and i paid my rent and let the dishes rot in the sink but still made myself eat anything fresh even if it meant overdrawing my account on a stupid bag of plums just because they looked delicious and do you know how often i closed my eyes and thought this is it i really fucking can't, something has to give and i have nothing left that it can take and then i went to bed and i got up and i fucking survived anyway
yesterday the local ice cream place opened up for the first time this season and they were giving out tiny samples of their new dairy-free options and i tried a mango sorbet. three months ago i was positive that februrary was going to be my last month on the planet. i am teaching my dog a new trick and i just discovered a new band i love. i got a plant from the clearance aisle and repotted her and she's been perking up. i made salmon for alison and we ate it in her new house with her new beautiful baby girl. my manager told me he keeps recommending my work to others just because i always include a stupid number of puns. tomorrow i'm trying a new dance class. tomorrow i'm maybe going to buy more plums.
i forget, you know? it's not some bone-deep strength or some magical power. it's that some part of me knows - i need to stay. in all of this; out of all of this - i just want to choose love.
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3minsover · 2 months
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back on my steddie bullshit fr
Thinking about hope(ful)less romantic Steve driving to Eddie's trailer in the pouring rain to finally confess his love after months of dancing around each other and almost-confessions that crumble on the tips of their tongues before they can become anything real.
Steve finds himself pacing around the ground floor of a house that's too big and too quiet, thinking about a guy who should never, ever have taken up as much of his brain as he currently does. It's a Friday night, and Eddie's most likely out at a gig, or at a bar, or doing nerd shit. He's most likely doing anything but thinking about Steve. And yet here Steve is, entirely preoccupied with the reckless marvel that is Eddie Munson.
Fuck it.
It's been four months since Vecna, and everyone seems to be okay again. It's been long enough that it wouldn't be weird for Steve to make a move, right?
Before Steve can really consider what it is he's about to do, he has his keys in hand and he's heading out towards his car. He doesn't even realize it was raining until he steps out onto the porch, tugging the door shut behind him. And there's not much thought that goes into any of it, really. It's instinctive, the way Steve knows the route to Eddie's place by now. Regardless of the thrashing of his heart, there's an easy kind of familiarity in the sodden streets and jutting roads. Steve's windshield wipers are working double time, fending off the sheets of rain that pile down amidst the humidity of late July; it'd been a cloudless day until the sun set. But like the heaviness of Steve's heart, the clouds had begun to weigh themselves down with water, waiting for the moment where the heft of it all became too much.
Steve hadn't quite beaten those clouds to the punch.
He arrives at Eddie's with really no recollection of how he'd gotten there, only that he needed to see him and nothing was going to get in his way. Eddie's already sitting out on the porch when he pulls up. The dusty ground is darker, saturated with fat, relentless raindrops. Eddie sits on the steps of his trailer, only just covered by the awning. The toes of his sneakers shine with wetness.
"Why are you out here?" Steve asks, clambering out of his car. It's all he can think to say. It's not the words he wants to purge, not the things that have been itching in his throat every time they've been alone together for the last however-many weeks. But it's what comes out.
"Wanted to hear the rain," Eddie responds, a cigarette pinched between his thumb and pointer finger. It's a simple enough response. Shouldn't warrant a reaction. Only, Steve's standing a few yards away, dampening by the moment, and he needs to just get it out.
"I need to- I gotta talk to you," Steve stutters, drifting closer. Eddie's eyes narrow.
"About what?" he asks, clearly skeptical.
"About you. Or, me. Us. I- shit, I used to be good at this." Steve raises a hand to swipe over his mouth: it comes away wet. He's fucking soaked, standing defenceless against the onslaught from above. Eddie flicks the cigarette and the butt lands at the base of the steps. He hinges upright, dropping down a step until the raindrops begin to splatter onto his curls, landing like spits of silver against the glow of the street lamps overhead.
"Good at what?" Eddie calls through the low rumble of the rain.
"Good at- I dunno, confessions? I told Nancy how I felt about her no problem. Robin was a little tougher, but I still got through that, but with you," Steve gushes, entirely unsure as to where he's going with this, "I just can't seem to find the words."
For an impossible amount of time, Eddie stares. His pretty features seem to go through about a half dozen emotions before he settles on something that Steve's soul recognizes as pity. He prepares himself for inevitable rejection.
"You're telling me you can't find the words?" Eddie asks, incredulous, "Dude, i'm a songwriter, a fucking wordsmith, and I've been drawing a blank on you for months!"
Steve squints, a little at a loss.
"What?" he asks, feels stupid for not getting it straight away.
"Steve, I should be able to write songs about the guy I love, right?"
"Well- Yeah- I- Wait, what?" Steve starts before Eddie's words catch up. The rain's growing heavier, beginning to sting his cheeks a little, but he's fixed to the spot, not daring to move any closer. It's Eddie that draws nearer, dropping down the final steps until they're on even footing.
"If you hadn't- If you didn't come over here tonight, I was gonna- I was gonna come to you. I had this whole fuckin' speech planned out - I'm pretty sure it was stupid, honestly, but I wrote it anyway, because I have all these goddamn feelings about you, Steve. And I couldn't find a way to make them sound like anything other than what they are." Eddie's waves are flattening by the second, darkening under the weight of the water falling from above. Steve's heart pounds against his ribs, threatens to break free altogether.
"But I- I came here to- You're- Eddie?"
"Fuck sake, Steve. I'm-"
"Wait." Steve interrupts him, his brain catching up all at once, overfilling and spilling over. "Wait, just let me- Can I say what I was gonna say?"
Eddie folds his arms around himself, chilled by the rain despite the thick warmth of summer around them.
"Sure. Shoot."
Steve heaves in a breath.
"Okay. Eddie. I've been thinking, and you and me, we're good, right? Like, for each other." A droplet of rain catches between Steve's lashes, forcing him to blink it away. Eddie's slim figure remains in front of him, proving that this is real, this isn't some hallucination, some daydream borne of an idle brain. "I think you and me could be something good. Great, even. And I- I- I think I- I know you maybe said it already, and I shouldn't even be-" Eddie strides forward, closing the space between them in a breathless moment. Steve's breath catches in his throat. Eddie's dark eyes dart frantically between Steve's own, so round and wide and beautiful. Steve's so in love with him. "Eddie, I'm- I think I've... fallen in love with you." Steve skates his palms over Eddie's biceps, up and over his shoulders, until he's cradling the sides of Eddie's neck. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm in love with you."
Where they're so closely matched in height, Steve's eyes are crossing just to keep his gaze focused on Eddie, who's looking more like the proverbial deer in headlights right now.
"Shit, Harrington," Eddie breathes, and Steve feels it warm against his rain-chilled lips, "took you long enough."
It's a kiss that follows, soft and hesitant, like Steve would do anything but lean into it, like he's anything but head over heels, absolutely and embarrassingly in love. it's a kiss, and it's wet and a little too cold, a little too out in the open, but Steve wouldn't change it for anything.
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greatooglymooglyyy · 3 months
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Driver's License (Matt Sturniolo)
request:
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a/n: anon i love you so much, both of your ideas were so good. i hope you love this. i cut off the second part to gatekeep it till it comes out 💕 also ik in the song, it is the boys fault but i've done a few of those so I wanted this one to be on the reader.
contains: angst, fluff, breakup to makeup, abandonment issues, happy ending, kissing, cussing, 1.3k words
Three Months Ago:
“Okay, whoa. Don’t hit the break that hard. Ease on to it.” Matt says quickly, leaning forward a bit. I roll my eyes at his dramatics. “I barely pressed it, Matt.” I continue circling the parking lot slowly since he refuses to let me go over 5 miles per hour.
When a car enters the parking lot near me, I tense up but Matt jumps in. “You got it. You’re fine. They’re just gonna pass you.” He says, calmly, his hand resting near the steering wheel, just in case he needs to grab it. The car passes me and I relax, smiling over at Matt. “See.” He says, giving me a small smile back but then gesturing back out the window. “Look at the road, babe. Not me.” I snap my eyes away and focus back in.
“Pull into this one right here.” He gestures at a spot a couple of feet away and I turn into it, barely in the lines, and put the car in park. I wince and glance over at him, expecting him to talk shit, but he just smiles. “Not bad, baby. You wanna try to get on the street?” My eyes widen and he laughs and takes off his seatbelt.
“It’s okay. Next time.” He leans over and presses two kisses to my lips before opening his door so we can trade back. He comes around the car and opens the driver’s door, leaning in. “You’re gonna be coming through to pick me up in a second. Just wait.”
*********
I look down at the floor of the DMV and shake my head, trying and failing to push down my thoughts of Matt. Today is probably the hardest day without him I've had since we first broke up two months ago. Two months since I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life and didn’t even have the strength to try and fix it. Every time I think about the look in Matt’s eyes when I told him we were done, I want to crumble. So instead, I try not to think about it at all.
The attendant calls my name sharply and it snaps me out of my impending pity party. I quickly scramble over and take my license from her, muttering a quiet thank you. As I head back to my car, I can’t take my eyes off it. I always thought this moment would be so much bigger but it just feels empty now.
When I get in my car, I drum my fingers on the steering wheel for a second trying to clear my head. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to muster up something resembling self-respect before my heart wins out and I pull out my phone. This is a bad idea. I know it and repeat it to myself as I type Matt’s name into my Instagram search bar.
This has been a hard limit I set with myself, alongside not texting him or his brothers. I don’t stalk his Instagram like some psycho ex. Except apparently, I do today. And god, he looks good. His hair is longer than the last time I saw him, the ends curling up slightly. In his most recent post, he’s got a slight smile as he looks up at the camera but it’s the glint of something around his neck that makes my breath hitch. I scroll to his next post and zoom in to confirm it’s what I think it is and my eyes begin to water. He’s still wearing the necklace I got him on our first Valentine’s Day.
I close my phone and pull down my sun visor, staring into the mirror. Does it mean he still loves me? Do I still have a chance? Or does he just really like that necklace? I shake my head and push the visor up, throwing the car into reverse. It doesn’t matter. If there’s even still a fraction of a chance, I have to try.
*********
This was a mistake. I’m an absolute freak. I’m a loser. Why would I drive to this man’s house like everything’s fine? I put my head in my hands and count to three trying to calm down. I’ve been sitting outside of the triplet’s house for two minutes trying to get my nerve back but with every passing second I feel stupider.
Okay, it’s fine. This is fine. Before I can talk myself out of it anymore, I get out of my car and march up to their door. I knock twice, deciding that if they don’t answer in ten seconds I can run back to my car and pretend this never happened. I get all the way to eight before Chris swings the door open. We stare at each other blankly for a couple of breaths before Chris turns and calls for Matt to come down. He turns back to me, hardening his eyes. But he must see something in my face that makes him take pity because he just sighs before leaning in and whispering a low, “Don’t fuck this up, kid.”
As soon as Matt starts down the stairs, Chris turns and rushes back up, tapping a hand on his brother’s shoulder when he passes him. When he sees me in the doorway, Matt freezes momentarily, recovering quickly and setting his jaw. I take an involuntary step backward at the icy look he gives me as he leans against the door frame.
“Can I help you?” He asks. His voice has way less steel than I expected but the question still guts me. It feels like I’m standing in front of a stranger and not the boy who used to hold me every night.
“I just-” I start, biting down on my bottom lip as I try not to cry. “I got my driver’s license today,” I say lamely. I cringe slightly and he furrows his brow in confusion.
“Okay?”
“I just wanted to tell you that, I guess.”
“Alright. Thanks for the headline.” He says sarcastically.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.” I say, turning to retreat.
“That’s what you’re sorry for?” He demands, clearly angry now. “You’re not sorry for leaving me out of nowhere? For never answering a single one of my messages? For breaking my fucking heart?”
I swallow thickly and nod, stepping closer. “Matt. I’m sorry for all of that. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I promise you that was never my intention. I was just scared.” He laughs bitterly at that and shakes his head.
“No. You don’t get to use that excuse. Everybody’s scared. I was scared. You don’t get to just run when shit gets real.” His voice cracks a bit at the end and he runs his hand over his face. I reach out tentatively and place my hand on his arm. He locks eyes with me at the touch but doesn’t immediately snatch away.
“I wish I could take it back. I wish every day that I had just talked to you. And I understand if you can’t forgive me for that, Matt. I don’t know if I would either. But, I promise if you can, I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving that I’m all in.” His eyes search mine desperately for truth and I hold my breath waiting for his response.
“Tell me that you love me.” He says, quietly.
My heart jumps as fear floods my body. I’ve never said it out loud before. I exhale deeply, letting my eyes trail over his face. “I love you, Matt.” My voice is a little wobbly but I pour as much honesty as I can into those words, hoping he hears what he needs.
He nods, his serious demeanor still in place, and sticks out his pinky finger. I laugh wryly and lock our pinkies, sealing the promise.
Matt pulls me inside of the house and takes my face in his hands, kissing me so intensely that my body leans sideways. He pulls away, pressing another one to my lips quickly and then drawing me into his arms. I wrap myself around his waist, feeling like the weight of the world has been lifted.
“I missed you so much.” Matt’s voice grates against my ear as he kisses behind it. I slip my hands under his shirt before I pull back to look at his face and grin.
“Enough to finally let me drive you on the interstate?” I say hopefully.
“Absolutely fucking not-”
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lustlovehart · 2 months
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Hiii! I've never done this before but... What if Scara and reader had a fight... Like a fight fight... and reader was seriously injured due to him being blinded be emotions... What do you think would the aftermath of this...?
A/n: Yet again, another ask that i was originally gonna js give a short thought to, turned into something longer *sigh* (I need to stop doing this).
Summary: [Angst/Comfort]He could never say sorry, even in the moments it mattered.
Warnings: Harm to reader, Scars, Unrealistic Writing of getting hit with lightning,
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———
During his time in the fatui, no one exactly had the galls of stopping his rampages. The balladeer is quite famed for his regular intervals of anger, you’re no stranger to it yourself, you’ve seen him mad. it’s just…
Hes never been angry towards you.
You’d get the occasionally scoff every now and then if you uttered something he found foolish, but never has he lashed out at you to such a degree. Not to this level. He’s painfully reminded by his ignorance as soon as his hand crafted eyes lay sight upon your bare form, a body, a human body, covered in scars from lightning. Lightning he inherited, lightning he engaged, lightning he struck you with.
There’s no doubt, the silence is defeaning while you sit with him in the empty room, waiting for one of the medical professionals in the fatui to check on you.
He’s silent. It’s rare. He’s never been quiet for more than 5 minutes with you. He’s either complaining or attempting to make small talk a vast majority of the time, typically the former. But he doesn’t, he doesn’t even stare at you like he always does. You’re about to break the silence before the harbinger breaks it for you.
“You don’t look okay.” He doesn’t look at you, his vision trained on the white tile at his feet.
“Yeah. you struck me with lightning.”
“oh.”
It doesn’t hit you until he releases a quiet ‘oh’ from his mouth. Something you probably know better than anyone else that has been on teyvat within his 500 year lifespan.
This man can not say sorry.
“oh? Oh? Kunikuzushi put your pride away for one second.” you don’t try to hide the frustration in your voice. You truly did not mind the eccentricities the puppet in front of you holds, you never did, not even when you first met him.
He still doesn’t answer but you can see the way his face winces and widens in the same moment. Seems he got way too accustomed to ‘Kuni’ and ‘Scara’ to remember that you do in fact remember his given name.
“What else should I say to you? I’ll strike harder next time?” He isn’t getting mad, he was only infuriated earlier, but not now. You can see his demeanor start changing. Whether it be in the direction you want it to go, you’re not sure yet.
“Maybe a sorry? An apology? A “oh forgive me [Name] I love you so much?” He doesn’t answer you, he only scoffs and fall back onto the back of his chair. You don’t miss the way his fingers dig into the cloth of his clothing, probably using it as a replacement for human skin.
The man can’t breathe, but you can hear him inhale and exhale before his next words.
“i don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean to- well not at you.” It comes out softer than the other words hes said to you the entire period of time in the room. His eyes are finally off the floor, trying their best to maintain contact with your own.
Once again, all thats left between the space of you two, is silence. You look away from him for a moment, fiddling with the blanket draped over your legs. You’d like to assume that’s the closest you’ll get to an ‘I’m sorry from him’, but you can’t accept that, so you don’t reply. Ever since waking up, you never were able to see the scars on your body, only the ones on your arms. You wonder if they look hideous.
Your hand reaches behind you to your back, your fingers grazing whatever part you assume suffers scarring.
“Are you worried about how it looks?”
“No, not at all, fighting is commonplace in the fatui.”
“Lying isn’t good, you told me that yourself didn’t you?” Damn him and his pristine memory. You can never remember where you leave your keys yet he can remember things you’ve said to him years ago?
“No matter how scarred and beaten you are you’re still [Name] are you not?” With the way he’s looking at you, you’re sure this is another thing he’d want to keep out of the publics knowledge. “Even without your face i’d strike someone down for you in an instant.”
“Oh like you did to me?”
“…” Seems the sweet moment was ruined. You don’t mind though, it’s funny to you.
———
The weeks that followed still held some tension. You’d refused to see him for awhile. When asked by some trembling lower subordinate, one in which the harbinger had personally sent, why you weren’t seeing him, your reply made the soldier fear for his own downfall.
“He’s insufferable right now. I’ll talk to him when he shows me he’s not a man child who can’t admit his faults.” You’ve always been able to put up with his outbursts, but right now, you realize maybe you should turn up your attitude with him.
After that unfortunate event, not unfortunate for you, for the fatuss, your days have seemingly been more dull. You’ve forgotten just how eccentric the balladeer is. Waking up never seemed so boring, the puppet would either be by your side in the early mornings, or knocking on the door ready to whisk you away.
Seems that routine is coming back.
“Oh? Have you finally swallowed your ego-“
“I’m sorry.”
Seems he couldn’t go any longer without you, how sweet.
———
Tagging this, I was super confused if this could be characterized as angst w/ comfort or fluff. I just did both though.
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obaex · 9 months
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the three times duke tried to tell you something - rafe cameron
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summary: rafe's dog duke starts acting differently towards you, clearly trying to tell you something that you and rafe can't seem to figure out on your own.
word count: 1.2k
a/n: short, fluffy and sweet! forever loving soft rafe ♡
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The first time, Rafe noticed before you did.
It wasn't unusual for Rafe's eyes to follow you as you walked through the house, drinking you in as you wandered past him to the kitchen or back to bedroom or onto the back porch as he tried to focus on his work, fingers itching to pull you into him and toss his laptop to the side. What was unusual was his dog, Duke, following you everywhere you went.
He couldn't put a finger on when it started, but suddenly it was like you had a second shadow, Duke following your every move, his eyes trained on you or sitting patiently at your feet whenever you were stationary.
You didn't notice until you were coming out of the shower and nearly stepped on him as he sat, waiting for you just outside the shower door. "Oh! Geez, Duke! You scared the heck out of me" you said, leaning down to pat his head, much to his enjoyment.
"Hey, have you noticed that Duke has been following me around?" you asked Rafe. As if for emphasis, Duke exhaled loudly where he sat nearly on top of your feet as he looked up at you with his puppy dog eyes.
Rafe smiled and leaned over to look at his dog, "You lookin' after our girl, Duke?" Duke licked his hand in response.
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The second time, Rafe was on the mainland for the day and you were walking to get the mail, Duke firmly by your side, when your neighbor who was jogging stopped to talk to you. "Hey, Y/N! Good to see you! Having a good summer?" he asked.
He tended to be a little flirtatious so you tried to keep your answers curt and casual, but before you could answer Duke growled at him. You looked down in shock to see his teeth bared, his eyes fixed on your neighbor. He normally had such a sweet and loving disposition, you couldn't remember him ever being aggressive. You were almost embarrassed as you whispered "Duke!" in surprise. He looked up at you innocently before returning a narrowed gaze to your neighbor who was edging away from you both before he took off running again.
"Duke growled at Sean today when he stopped to talk to me" you told Rafe later that night. "I swear, Rafe, something has gotten into him, I've never seen him act like that before."
"Is Sean that guy that's always hitting on you?"
"Rafe..."
"Good boy, buddy!" he said, leaning down to scratch Duke behind his ears and getting a bark in response before Rafe pressed a kiss to your cheek.
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It was all fun and games for Rafe until later that week the two of you were in the kitchen making dinner and listening to music. Rafe pulled you into his arms to dance with you. He nuzzled into your neck, pressing soft kisses there and tracing them up your jaw to land on your lips, catching your smile with his own. He kissed you softly and slowly as his hands traced down your waist, and then he began to tickle you, eliciting a squeal and a giggle from you as you tried to wiggle out of his grasp. Duke was on his feet and barking immediately, nudging himself between you and Rafe, and nipping at Rafe's ankles, finally causing him to drop his arms.
"Duke! Buddy! It's okay!" he said, putting his hands up in front of him in surrender as Duke stood protectively in front of you.
Rafe looked up at you, "Okay, maybe I'm starting to see what you're talking about..." he trailed off, looking down at his dog "...and I thought I was protective, what's gotten into you, huh?" Duke looked from Rafe to you and back again and barked once like he was trying to say something, both of you looking at each other in confusion.
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That weekend you were curled up on the couch watching a movie, snuggled in Rafe's arms. Duke had been lying on the floor at your feet when he propped his head over the side of the couch and onto your lap.
"Hey, good boy" you whispered, running your hand over his head absentmindedly before returning your attention to the movie. He didn't give up. He nudged his cold, wet nose into your hand, into your lap, nuzzling you further and further.
"Okay, okay" you said, thinking he wanted more pets, and giving him more attention. But he was unrelenting, his entire head now resting in your lap. "Rafe, look at this. He's never this cuddly" you said as Duke came to rest his head nearly on top of your torso at this point, where he finally sat still, eyes looking up at you intently as you continued to pet him, now with your full attention.
"What is it, buddy?" you asked.
He nuzzled into your torso one more time for effect.
And that's when the lightbulb went off in your head.
"Oh my god" you said, suddenly.
"What is it?" Rafe asked, pausing the movie and sitting up quickly at your tone.
"Oh my god" you said again, popping off the couch as you ran down the hallway, Duke hot on your heels.
"Sweetheart? Sweetheart! What's wrong?" Rafe said as he got up to follow you both.
You had shut yourself in the bathroom and Rafe began knocking frantically on the door. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"
Silence.
"Babe, you're freaking me out. Are you okay? Please just tell me you're okay?"
"H-Hold on" you said, your voice shaking.
Rafe jiggled the doorknob, his heart in his throat. "Babe, please don't make me break this door down."
You didn't respond and Rafe let his forehead fall against the door, eyes resting on the dog sitting next to him who was pawing the door helplessly.
The minutes ticked away before, quietly, the lock clicked and you swung the door open. You had tears in your eyes and Rafe immediately cupped your face in his hands. "Babygirl, what is it, what's wrong?"
You moved to hold up your hand that held a small plastic stick with a digital window reading one word that sent Rafe's heart into a maddening flutter: Pregnant.
"What?" Rafe whispered in disbelief as he took the stick from your hand.
"Babe, are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?" he said, a smile already breaking across his face. You gestured behind you at two other sticks on the counter, nodding and smiling as tears rolled down your face.
"You're having our baby?" he asked breathlessly, "I'm gonna be a dad?" The realization crashed over him as tears welled in his own eyes and you nodded vigorously.
"We're gonna have a baby!" he said, scooping you into his arms as he peppered kisses relentlessly on your cheek and forehead, finally finding your lips and searing them with a kiss that was so sincere and soft, overwhelmed with emotion.
You could feel him breathing heavily against you as you laughed and cried together, the moment broken only by Duke barking at your feet, jumping up, wanting to be a part of the action.
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taglist: @surftrips, @ietss, @gillybear17, @palmwinemami, @sweetestdesire, @softcoremaybank, @diary-of-jj, @m-indkiller
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remember-the-fanfics · 3 months
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Ask 'I very much enjoy the whole Gen z Overlord thing, I have been wondering you can do a what would they do when they meet Lucifer in the hotel. It interesting when they see how different he is to what they've been told of him.'
By @darkwrath32
During Dad beat Dad
Trying to write the whole episode, let's see how long it works out..
Slightly rush at the end
-
(Y/n) sat on the couch while watching Charlie theorize, well they aren't actually sure what she's doing exactly anymore.
"Charmander, I think it's time rest." Said (Y/n). Vaggie had ask them to help Charlie with figuring out the redemption plan as (Y/n) is the only Overlord trying to help with it, they agreed not knowing Charlie wasn't going to go to bed anytime soon.
"You can go to bed, (Y/n). I got the handled." Said Charlie, looking at (Y/n).
"Yeah, no. Vaggie will be super upset at me if I just went to bed." They said, getting up heading to the kitchen. "Plus I personally think the best time to think is the middle of the night. I also enjoy helping you with whatever we're doing because I've lost track. You want coffee?"
"Yes please, I'll explain to you when you get back."
-
"Charlie? (Y/N)?" Said Vaggie seeing the two standing infront of Charlie's planning board with a bunch of paper and string attached and to the side a few empty coffee cups and energy drink cans are on a table and floor.
"I'm just not quite understanding why it's not working. Okay, okay, think Charlie. Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think. Okay if I do this, it's going to be-" Charlie said, panic in her voice. "I have trust falls every single morning-."
"With who? And why?" Said (Y/n) in a less panicked voice. "I can only see you doing it with Vaggie." Both of the demons look like a mess and that they obviously didn't sleep.
"Yikes." Said Angel Dust.
"Come on, come on, come on, come on." Said Charlie when (Y/n) noticed the crowed behind them, holding a ball of string with some of it in their mouth.
"Charlie? Sweetie? You uh, you good?" Asked Vaggie, Charlie looked back with sleep deprived look while holding a piece of paper. "(Y/n) this isn't what I ment by help her." Vaggie told the young overlord, who just shrugged.
"Nope! No, not really. Ha ha, I've been up all night trying to figure out why the hotel isn't working." Charlie said, crushing the paper in her hands.
"We've done trust falls and sharing our feeling which still ew." Said (Y/n), bitting the string in their mouth off the ball.
"And now we only have a month before the angel come-." Charlie said before laughing in her demonic form before turning back. "At this rate-."
"May it's time-"
"NO."
"-to ask-"
Charlie getting close to Vaggies face and holding her checks before saying "DON'T SAY IT."
"-your dad." Vaggie finished saying and Charlie just groaned. "Charlie, I know you don't want to but we need every advantage we can get."
"He let the extermination happen to begin with. They just had a meeting and said, "Go ahead and kill everyone"- Wait, that's it!" Charlie suddenly realized something.
"Kill everyone?" Questioned Vaggie.
"Say sike." Said (Y/n).
"No! He could get me a meeting with Heaven!" Said Charlie.
"Boo! It sucked last time! Adam is a dick!" Said (Y/n).
"He was being an asshole but he isn't in charge of all of Heaven. We could go to the top. There's sure to be some angels who will listen." Charlie said, getting out her phone but hesitant on calling.
"What's the holdup? You got daddy issues?" Asked Husk.
"Doesn't everyone?" Said (Y/n), earning looks. "Okay, well then must be a generation thing then."
"No, we just have never been close. After he and mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls, sometimes, but only if he's bored or like needs me to do something." Charlie answered.
"Daddy issues." Said Husk and (Y/n), with one being more quiet about it.
"Well I'd like to meet the big dick in charge." Angel Dust said.
"The ultimate bad boy." Said Niffty before laughing and while holding a knife that Angel Dust quickly took away. "I bet he's scary."
"Wait, who is Charlie's dad?" Asked (Y/n) when Charlie decided to call.
"How the fuck do you not know? Her last name is Morningstar!" Said Angel Dust.
"Well I know she's a princess and Morningstar is a weapon." Said (Y/n).
"Toots, who would be the big dick in charge of Hell?"
"The devil?" Said (Y/n) before it clicked in their head. "Oh shit!"
Angle Dust and Husk laughed at their reaction.
"How have you not know yet?" Asked Husk. "You're an Overlord, you got to know politics in hell for that."
"I know I'm just busy making sure my area is taken care off and then helping here, I guess I never had time to draw the connection." Said (Y/n). "I didn't know the devil had a last name! Or a child!"
"He has a first name too."
"Oh shut up."
"Welp, we have an hour until he gets here." Said Charlie interrupting the conversation.
Vaggie then assigned everyone to do something and everyone scattered.
-
(Y/n) stood next to Angel Dust while he was doing his makeup while sitting on the table. Angel Dust finished and got scared by Niffty who was just staring at him, (Y/n) laughed.
"Come on, my dear. As the other one sponsoring the hotel, we both have to be front and center when he shows up." Said Alastor before guiding (Y/n) to stand beside the door next to him.
"Okay everyone, it's showtime." Charlie said before opening the door to a shorter blond hair demon with fancy attire.
"Charlie!!"
"Hey, Da-." Charlie didn't get to finish before getting hugged really tight by her Dad.
"He's so short." (Y/n) whispered to Alastor, earning a soft chuckle from the demon.
"Oh its so good to see you. Haha!"
"It's uh, good to see you too, Dad." Said Charlie before he finally put her down. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!"
KeeKee showed up along with Razzle and Dazzle to greet him and Lucifer, as (Y/n) finally remembered, greeted them and slight threat to Razzle and Dazzle to keep protecting Charlie.
"Wow! This place sure looks, uh...uh huh yah uh huh...It's got a lot of character!" Said Lucifer looking around the hotel before catching sight of the bar. "OH, what in the unholy hell is that?!"
"Just some of the renovations we had done. Adds a bit of color, don't you think?" Said Alastor, leaving (Y/n) and appearing next to Angel Dust.
"And who are you?" Lucifer asked, Alastor with a flare of the dramatic reappeared behind Lucifer.
"Alastor. Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure." Shaking Lucifer cane before wiping his hand off on his jacket. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name. Like my colleague said you are much shorter in real life." Panicked (Y/n) quickly got next to Alastor.
"Excuse him, I did not say those exact words." (Y/n) said, nudging Alastor. "But I'm (Y/n), pleasure to meet you."
"Who is this? Who is this man and child? Are you the bellhops?"
"Aha! No! I am the co-host of the hotel. You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast." Said Alastor.
"Not a kid, I'm co-manager slash other host slash sort of guest, usually when the others are busy. You probably haven't heard of me." Said (Y/n), copying Alastors introduction, shaking Lucifer's hand.
"Atleast this one has manners." Said Lucifer. "And nope havent heard of you! I guess that's why Charlie called it the Has-been Hotel, ahaha." (Y/n) quickly moved back away from the two.
"Ha ha ha. It was actually my idea."
"Ahaha. Well, it's not very clever."
"Ha ha! Fuck you." Alastor said before Charlie got in-between the two.
"Okay! Okay, anyway. Dad, look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other and share secrets and stories and intimate feelings! Without Alastor or (Y/n), we wouldn't have been able to pretty it up this much."
"Charlie has a very unique vision. I am happy to fulfil her bizarre requests." Said Alastor, putting his hand on Charlie's shoulder.
"Well they aren't bizarred request. Charlie thinks outside the box and it's nice to see her dreams become real." Said (Y/n) from the table, not getting closer to whatever beef Alastor decided he had against the other.
"Oh thank you guys." Said Charlie
"Ahem, Charlie! Dear, eheh, why don't you introduce me to your OTHER friends?" Said Lucifer, getting between the two and pointed at the group around the table.
"Oh yes, of course." Said Charlie getting next to Vaggie. "This is Vaggie, my girlfriend."
"Oh my golly! You like girls? So do I! We have so much in common! You put her there Maggie. Hey!" Lucifer said Hugging Vaggie, tightly. "Oh yeah, she's so pretty."
"Lovely to meet you, uh sir." Said Vaggie, taking a deep breath after being let go.
"This is our guests Sir Pentious, Angel Dust, and (Y/n) when they want to." Said Charlie.
"Your Majesty!" Said Sir Pentious trying to defend his cookies from Angel Dust and (Y/n).
"Heya short king~" Said Angel Dust, (Y/n) making a face at how Angel Dust said that.
"Hello from the otherside, again." They said, waving.
"(Y/n) helps with managing with Vaggie and helps when Alastor is busy." Said Charlie. "They just like helping, But anyway Husk is our bartender, and Niffty is our housekeeper."
"Nice to meet you." Said Husk before Niffty runs over and climbs up Lucifer's coat.
"Hello. I clean." She said before the chandelier fell making everyone cough.
"Alright then." Said Lucifer, pointing his cane at the chandelier magically making it disappear.
- "No one is gonna call you dad with that creepy ass smile" the song-
After Mimzy appeared, taking Alastor attention for alittle bit.
"So... you look nothing like how your depicted on earth." Said (Y/n), looking at Lucifer. "They used way to much red."
"..You're a sinner? When did you arrive in Hell?" Asked Lucifer.
"A few years ago. Around 2019 ish? It kinda blurry. I'm technically an Overlord." Answered (Y/n).
"(Y/n) is the youngest in the amount of years in Hell and age." Said Charlie. "They got here when they were 18 so that why they look like a kid." Said Charlie before Mimzy noticed that Lucifer was here, pushing Sir Pentious out of her way.
"Pleased to meet ya! Your Highness." She said before nudging Alastor. "Alastor, you gotta warn a girl when she's in mixed company."
"Charmed, I'm sure." Said Lucifer, sounding like he didn't care.
"As much as I'd love to catch up, Charlie, (Y/n) and I have a tour to continue." Said Alastor, Lucifer hearing this dragged Charlie.
"I'm sure Charlie can handle showing me around." Said Lucifer. "Along with (Y/n)."
"Why am I getting dragged into this?" They questioned with no response.
"Nonsense!" Said Alastor, grabbing Charlie and moved foward. "We started the hotel together, and we'll show it off together. Right, Charlie?"
"I was here before you!" Said (Y/n)
"Oh, right." Charlie said and Alastor let her go so she could show her father around with Vaggie and (Y/n) following behind.
This is going to be an interesting tour.
-
"So, once we have the proof that redemption is possible, this whole hotel will be full of demons wanting to check out into heaven! We just need a little time to prove it. The sharing circles haven't been working as fast as I hoped." Charlie told her father, leading the group. (Y/n) walking close to Alastor noticed when Alastor stop and looked back to see Husk.
"Hey, boss. Can I have a word? Uh alone,(Y/n)." Asked Husk.
"Hurry along (Y/n), I wouldn't be long." Said Alastor and (Y/n) got a nervous feeling about what the conversation going to be.
"Okay, see ya Husk." They said before walking to where Charlie and the others went, not seeing Alastor turn his head an 180 degree to face Husk.
"What is it?"
-
(Y/n) caught up with Vaggie, who was walking behind Lucifer and Charlie.
"What happened?" Asked Vaggie, who noticed (Y/n) and Alastor had stopped earlier.
"Nothing hopefully, Husk just wanted to talk to Alastor." They explained. "How's it going?" Noticing the nervous look on Lucifer's face. Vaggie didn't answer before they got on a balcony and Charlie had her help explain the hotel mission.
"And we've almost been able to find all of Angel Dust's drug stashes… almost." Said Vaggie.
"I remember when I found one the first time, still had no idea what it was." Said (Y/n), remembering how they showed Vaggie it and she quickly took it away and scold Angel Dust for it.
"So, once that's out of the way, it should be much smoother sailing!" Said Charlie, (Y/n) zone out know with how Lucifer acting Charlie would be disappointed in his response. They leaned on the railing, looking at the view of Hell.
"-Heaven, is not exactly as carefree as you might think. Yeah, they have rules, lots of rules, and they aren't very open minded as you'd hope. Look at (Y/n)!Why would heaven put a kid here? Unless they're a mass murder." Said Lucifer, getting (Y/n)'s attention.
"I'm not."
"These are our people, Dad, I… I have to try!" Said Charlie.
"Our 'people' Charlie, are awful! They got gifted free will and look what they did with it! Everything's terrible!" Said Lucifer.
"Hey! I didn't even get to even use my so call freewill and Charlie is trying to help!" Said (Y/n).
"Well I don't want her to herself on the line for people like-." Said Lucifer before a loud thud, shaking the hotel.
"For fucks sake."
"Geez! What now?!" Said Vaggie before everyone looked out to see Loan sharks at the front door with a battering ram.
"Well, like that." Said Lucifer.
"Mimzy! We know you're in there you lousy bitch!" One of the sharks yell
"Oh go fuck yourself!" Yelled (Y/n) before being pulled into a portal by Charlie.
"Que Carajo?!" Yelled Vaggie.
"What's going on?!" Said Charlie.
"I maaaaaay be in trouble with some loan sharks. I may or may not have borrowed 50 grand from—." Said Mimzy before hiding from a loud sound "And I may have also stolen a car… and crashed it… into the loan shark's girlfriend, but that bitch had it coming!"
Then all hell broke lose by the windows breaking with a barrage of fireballs, scaring everyone.
"My windows!" Yelled Niffty, upset with the broken windows.
"Ah, we're under siege! Ah! Take cover!" Said Sir Pentious, finally letting go of his cookies while dodging a fireball. Everyone panicking scrambled for cover.
"I'm going to fucking kill these assholes!" Said (Y/n), getting pulled by Charlie again away from a fireball.
"You see? This is exactly what I'm talking about Charlie. You build something nice, you invite people in and offer them everything and they just bring violence and chaos to your doorstep. It doesn't matter how well intentioned you are, they're always going to disappoint you." Said Lucifer unbothered with the chaos, getting on (Y/n)'s last nerve.
"You- just shut up! I'll handle this-." They said before Alastor appeared infront of them.
"No my dear, leave it to me. It's time to remind everyone why I am here."
"I'm also here for a reason, Alastor." Said (Y/n), glaring at the other overlord.
"Very well, shall we dear child?"
"We shall."
"A reminder to all, not to mess with the radio demon!"
"Oh, finally! Took you long enough!" Said Mimzy, earning a look from (Y/n).
(Y/n) let Alastor eat everyone in his demon form while they fought off and weakened the rest for him to finish.
"Does it even taste good?"
"Do you want to try some?"
"No thanks old man."
(Y/n) left Alastor to deal with Mimzy, seeing Charlie and Lucifer comforting each other before singing from the door way.
-"I'm happy they are solving their issues but why does it always have to be by song?"-
"Aww, that's so sssweet." Said Sir Pentious.
"It was." Said (Y/n), patting him on the back.
"Ok, I can get you the meeting but once you're in Heaven, I won't be able to go with you. Will you be ok?" Said Lucifer.
"I'll be fine." Said Charlie.
"That's my girl, good luck kiddo." He said before vanishing in red mist. (Y/n) got closer to Charlie.
"So you're gonna actually do this? Fucking mint, I guess." They said, not completely on board about Heaven of all places.
"The next part is going to be scary, you ready?" Said Vaggie.
"I'm ready, cuz you're gonna be with me." Said Charlie, hugging Vaggie.
"In spirit, right?" Said Vaggie.
"In Heaven!"
"Yay..." said Vaggie before (Y/n) started laughing at her reaction, earning a glare from Vaggie and a look from Charlie.
"You're coming too, (Y/n)!" Said Charlie, making (Y/n) stop laughing.
"Why?!" They said.
"Because you were the first one to help after Vaggie! You're a main part of the hotel!" Said Charlie, pulling (Y/n) in the hug.
"I'm killing myself." Said (Y/n) with a blank look on their face.
"(Y/n)!"
"I'm kidding... mostly."
"Shit.."
-
"Why would they want to meet (Y/n) aswell?"
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lyvndr · 10 months
Text
I just had a thought.
Xiao gets degraded by reader, and reader overstimulates Xiao (and Xiao has two dicks). Xiao is a half dragon in this. Messy little fanfiction.
Imagine Xiao, but he's a dragon, right? So, he has two dicks, and he's been really needy lately. But, thing is, Xiao never told you about this other half form of his, and you've always been dominating Xiao every time you had sex, so Xiao wanted to surprise you and end up taking the dominant role to fuck you with his dicks.
Now, when Xiao does reveal them to you, you're strangely excited. He slightly suspected this but shrugged it off. He'll simply dominate you anyway... But then you ask him to sit on the edge of the bed, and you get down on the floor, his dual dicks right up in your face.
“W— Wait, (name), this wasn't—” supposed to happen. That's what he wanted to say, since he really wanted to fuck you, but then suddenly you took one of his dicks in your mouth, started jerking off the other one, and you were reaching over to his ass to finger that with your free hand.
How was he supposed to keep his composure after that?
“Mm— gh, ah! Ah! Wait, d— don't–!”
Xiao threw his head back, letting tears sting in the corners of his eyes. You weren't even two minutes in, and the adeptus above you— the almighty Yaksha— was squirming, thrashing around, spreading his legs and trapping your head and hands between them as he moaned over and over again, chanting your name like it was sacred, and feeling himself reach closer and closer by the second. He was deep in your throat. You were sucking and gulping on his dick, licking away at every corner and crevice of his member that your tongue could reach while your hands were at work elsewhere on his perfect body.
“I— gh-! I- I was s— supposed to.. d- dominate you—!” Xiao moaned mindlessly, eyes rolling in the back of his head, finding himself drawn to the edge of his orgasm.
But, at the very edge where he was about to reach ecstasy, you stopped everything you were doing. A fine timing in your opinion.
“N.. No! Why'd you stop?!” Xiao cries, tears pricking at his eyes earlier were finally running down. “I.. was so close..”
“Xiao, you wanted to dominate me?” You asked, licking your lips for any pre-cum that Xiao might've let out.
“...I guess.” Xiao mumbled, a sudden regret seeping into his bones. He should've never revealed his plan.
You giggled. You started laughing, “Aw, Xiao, that's so cute!” You smiled, only for it to turn more sadistic. “So cute of you, my beautiful and pathetic little dragon, to think you could try and dominate me.”
Xiao whimpered. He rarely ever gets to hear such words from you, you're usually always so kind during sex, but now he knows..
He kind of fucked up.
“Oh, but it's okay. Beg enough for it, and maybe after your tenth orgasm I'll let you have it your way.”
Xiao whines at your offer. “But! I've— I've only ever made it through e- eight... And that was only once!”
“How about five for both dicks, meaning it'll total up to ten?” You smirk, wanting to test out Xiao's new extra dick to see if he could keep up.
“But.. what if I come through both?”
“Then we'll simply have to go through ten.”
And at that, you get Xiao to stand up and lean his butt on the bed as you resume your work. You were eating up his cock, his dick brushing against the deep back of your throat as you sucked and ate him up— without any trouble, either. You still jerked him off, but this time you didn't finger him. Instead, your free hand cupped and occasionally (lightly) squished his balls.
Xiao squirmed around again, sobbing and drooling, feeling your cool saliva drip down from your sweet lips and onto his balls, to which he grabbed your head and bobbed your head up and down his cock. He was so close, his eyed were already rolling back and he was gripping your hair like there was no tomorrow. He felt you choke on his dick, he felt your hand squeeze his balls just a little harder, and he definitely felt your aggression while jerking him off and—
“Please! Please, pleasepleaseplease! I– I—”
Xiao thrusted himself into you and both his dicks shot out large strings of steaming cum. Xiao was hypersensitive, squirming while you kept slowly jerking him off and felt every tiny movement of your tongue and mouth gulping and licking up all the cute cum he just gave you.
Xiao panted while you finally removed your mouth from his dick. You sat him down on the bed and led him to the headboard, where you got him to sit against. Xiao was too dumbified and too clouded in pleasure to realize that you got on top of him and hovered yourself over one of Xiao's dicks. By the time he realized that you were on top of him you had lowered yourself fully onto his cock, with your hand jerking off the other one (that you just sucked).
“Ah! Wai– ah! Please.. please wait—!” Xiao suddenly came inside of you and on your hand, overstimulation cracking his last remaining thoughts.
“Oh, already? I hope you'll be conscious by the time we reach the tenth one, little cutie.”
Xiao reached over for you, wanting to hold you, even wanting to hug you while you rode him, but you stopped him.
“Mm, not yet Xiao. You can hold me when you're about to cum.” You smirked, staring into his pleading, needy eyes. You started riding him again, watching him squirm in need and clinginess, letting him whimper for you as you made him feel amazing yet down at the same time.
He can only hope he can stay conscious to hold you, and he could only pray that he could make it to the tenth orgasm to finally get his way with you.
But,
You both knew that he still wouldn't handle it.
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 11 months
Text
okay okay rapid fire spider-verse thots fresh out of the theater, trying to minimize spoilers but jesus
da Vinci-looking Vulture... very cool
the art on Gwen's earth in general is SO cool
in general the animators were just SHAMELESSLY showing off with this one and it rules so hard
Rio Morales animated milf of all time
truly do not understand what all of you see in Miguel tbh that man suuuuuucks!! kill!!
Peter B is also on my shit list tbh. Gwen going along with this is understandable, she's literally a homeless teenager in a bad position to fight against adult spiders making decisions, but Peter... come on dude...
truly they HAD to leave Pav out of the middle of the movie because he would have sided with Miles (you think he would want Inspector Singh to die!! fuck no!!) and he's perfect so he would have just effortlessly swept the floor with every other spider-person
Gwen is flirtatiously trans coded and responds to Spider-Man at least once, congrats to her on the fun gender
Jessica's design is so cool but they made her such a cop... god I hope she's coming around in the next movie
cannot wait to see gifs of this movie slowing down every frame to point out every individual background spider-person
the fucking. the family of it all. Miles' parents afraid to let him grow up and Gwen's dad unable to accept the truth about his daughter and Miguel trying to raise a daughter who wasn't supposed to be his and Peter B's baby girl and Jessica Drew's visible baby bump and the spiders' collective miserable certainty that they are DEFINED by the trauma of losing someone they love.
something something Miles' parents and the spider society have the same problem - being afraid of change from what they thought was The Right Way To Do Things - but Miles' parents love and trust him to make the right choices beyond their understanding while Miguel and the other spiders are too hurt by their own traumas to imagine someone else thriving without it
also fuck all of them the boy's uncle died in front of him after trying to kill him HAS HE NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH
Hobie's soooo annoying (affectionate) but also right about, like, literally everything AND good with babies to boot
the whole ending is so ‼️‼️‼️‼️
the thing with Miles and Uncle Aaron at the end... you know the thing... DELICIOUS au right there tell me everything about that shit
the fucking end man
I've NEVER been in a theater where everyone collectively screamed @ the end of a movie fuck fuck fuck. there's cliffhangers and then there's THIS
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adventuringblind · 5 months
Text
Joint Coping
Lestappen x Reader
Genre: Angst
Dialouge: "Help me understand."
Summary: Max helps his partners learn to cope in healthy ways
Warnings: Selh-harm, unhealthy Coping, blood, Ferrari, Max being the sane one of the group
Notes: I would like to emphasize that this is a thing that does happen. I know because I've done it. This specifically is not something to be glorified at all. Self-harm done in groups can become competitive. This is a pretty toned down version of things I've experienced and it's less toxic. THIS IS NOT REACHING OUT. Just wanted to clarify :)
This is part of my 1000 follower celebration! Requests are still open if you'd like to participate (the link will take you to the request form).
Masterlist
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Max knows something is wrong with his partners. It's like an itch in his brain he can't scratch. A sixth sense, if you will.
The two Ferrari drivers are struggling with their team. Every problem is their fault. They have become the Ferrari scapegoats. When they do poor, it's the driver. When they do good, it's the team and the car.
He's coming to the end of his patience. If he has to hear them self deprecate one more time he might actually consider making them stand in the mirror and say nice things about themselves. Can he fuck it out of them? Is that a possibility? He really doesn't know but is desperate and willing to try anything.
They both DNF at the next race. Max is a man on a mission through media and debrief. He needs to see that they are okay. At the very least not sitting through some kind of lecture a parent gives to a child.
He sprints to the Ferrari garage and runs into Carlos. Despite his injury that took him out of the season, he still comes to support his team and teammates.
"Carlos!" The Spainard spins around to face him. "Have you seen-?"
"They already left over an hour ago. Did they not text you?"
There are warning bells going off inside of his head. Something is clearly wrong and they aren't telling him about it. He's about to sprint away when Carlos stops him.
"Before you go, you should that there were some awful things said by their engineers and they looked really upset about it."
"Thanks Carlos."
Max is back at the hotel as fast as he can manage. He tried both their cells with no answer. It's killing him from the inside out with anxiety. He's probably just overthinking, but it'll feel better when he sees they are okay.
He keys the door open and doesn't bother taking off his shoes. The lights are off aside from the one in the bathroom. Maybe they decided a nice relaxing bath would do the trick. Max could also go for one. He pushes that thought aside for now.
He knocks gently on the door. "You two in there?" No response. Or at least - not one to him directly. There are a few hushed whispers, but nothing loud enough for him to hear.
He waits Aproximatley ten seconds before he can't handle it anymore and swings the door open. He expects to see fogged mirror and water on the floor. Instead he's met with the sight red wrists and thighs.
He's lost. Max Verstappen has no idea what to do.
They are stripped down to undergarments. Legs dangling over the side of tub. A switchblade in the hands of Charles. They both look teary eyed and doped out. Are they enjoying this?
God, he feels so stupid. Weeks of having Sex with no lights on, sweatshirts in hot weather, no swimming and doing private ice bathes away from trainers. He should've noticed. Max could've stopped this sooner. He wants to rewind and tell them to come to him instead of relying on this to get the through.
"Guess you caught us." Charles let's out a half assed laugh. "You gonna stare at us all night? Or can we get the yelling part over with? Last three partners left us when they caught it. I understand if it's to much. Not your burden."
Max had been a later addition. The two in the bathtub had been together since their teenage years. Had they been Coping like this for so long?
"Sorry about the mess. Relapses are hard. We made it all season until a month ago." She leans her head onto Charles' shoulder. How can they make this type of environment endearing? This is unreal and they need serious help. Which Max will eventually get them when he can get his act together.
He kneels on the floor in between them. Max is just now registering the tears on his cheeks. They'd been in pain for so long. It hurts him just thinking about it.
"I'm not going to yell-" he looks at one. "-I'm not going to leave-" he looks at the other. "But help me understand. I want to help."
"It's easier to do with someone else around. It's more therapeutic." The lopsided smile on the female's face is not helping Max. He has to many questions.
First, he gets them cleaned up. Neither of them flinch when he disenfects the wounds. They don't look at him as he wraps them in whatever gauz is in the first aid kit. They look ashamed as he puts the knife in his bag and rinses the tub.
The one that gets him, however, is the look of pure confusion when Max hugs them both so tightly. It's like they don't know how to respond.
They sit in a circle on the bed. It's comfortable and Max can see both their expressions clearly.
"I know the struggle." He starts. "Punishing yourself is better then someone else doing it, right? But I had Daniel there reminding me to reach out."
"It's just easier this way."
"Easier isn't better. Look at the state you're in. I'm not leaving, but I am getting the both of you help."
He followed through with this the next morning. Then looked supposed to see him when they woke up. He, and his childish mind, kissed all the cuts and scars. Every single one of them received proper treatment.
The female cried and thre her arms around Max. Charles had looked away in shame. The reasons they started this are still foreign to him, but that's not his priority.
He gets them help. All of them, mind you. They do group sessions as the three of them to find healthier ways to cope with each other.
Reasons seem to fade into the background because they don't matter as much. The important thing is that Max caught it in time. That he didn't lose them to their own minds. They are partners, and Max would be devistated to lost someone he loves to those dark places.
He rests easier now that the itch has been scratched. His partners are doing better. They smile and laugh at his stupid jokes again. A bit of confidence regained.
And Max reminds them daily that nothing is worth it if you have to destroy yourself for it. Drivers or not, he loves them regardless.
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mrchiipchrome · 23 days
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You Always Go To The Parties
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W.C. - 5.7 k
okay so this is the project i've been working on for a little, hope y'all like it:) (also listen to American Wedding by Frank Ocean while y'all read this.)
To clarify, this is a lionesses x r series too, but this is literally just the chapter of introduction so that we can get to know the characters.
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“Do I really have to go? I can’t even drink legally here.” You groan, there was nothing stopping you from collecting your things and getting the hell out of that apartment in Boston, well except the manners instilled in you from an early age. There was nothing you’d like more than to crawl up in bed and sleep for the next few weeks.
No way Emma would let you do that. 
The sophomore defender had been one of the only people that had come back to college early, having been asked to show you around the campus and the facilities. She had quickly taken you under her wing, which meant that she wouldn’t let you sulk in bed the rest of August.
Brown cardboard boxes filled to the brim with different things, ranging from clothes to knick knacks, were stacked to the ceiling in the otherwise empty apartment. You didn’t mind, clearly, but it bothered Em.
You tuck your hands behind your head, staring up at the ceiling from your mattress that was placed directly on the floor. Your button up had the first few buttons undone, the top of your chest displayed for Em to see, you had even put your fancy trousers on for the stupid party you didn’t even want to attend.
“Yes, you really have to. How else do you expect to make friends, your cute British accent will only get you that far, you actually need to put in some effort okay?” Rolling your eyes at her words, you were quickly made to get up off the makeshift bed, getting pushed towards the door.
“But-” 
“No buts, you are going because I need someone to drive me home when I’m black out drunk tonight, you don’t want me to drink and drive right?” You can’t help but contemplate over her words, feeling the girl’s hand come down on your shoulder harshly. 
Clearly she didn’t like that.
“I mean you could just, I don't know…not drink?” She looks at you like she’s disgusted you’d even think about saying something like that, like she has to drink.
“Wow, it really is obvious your parents are rich.” You lock the door up as you look at her through the corner of your eye, a slightly judgemental look in your eyes.
Your parents were rich, but they didn’t spoil you so you weren’t one of those snobby rich kids, you were just like anyone else. Only you had access to more money than most.
“Shut up.” Emma puts her hands up in the air, like she’s surrendering to you, but you see the way she’s smiling slyly at you. Note to self; don’t get defensive when Em brings up your rich parents.
“You know, I could use a new Gucci bag if you want to contact daddy dear.” She looks up at you pleadingly as you make your way to her car, there was no way you’d use your car, it was far too expensive to be left outside a frat house. You really had to get a more beat up one.
Maybe you’d sell it, and donate the money you got for it to charity. 
“Aw, we’re taking my car?” Em whines, clearly she wanted to take your cool car.
“Aw, I’m not leaving my really expensive car outside of a frat house for hours.” You roll your eyes at her almost like she’s stupid, throwing her the keys so that she could drive, you didn’t even know where it was you were going.
“You know, you are really sassy for being a rich kid.” Em pulls out of the garage, the apartment complex you were living in was just off campus, so near that you walked there every day for pre-pre-season training (absolutely destroying Em every single time without fail).
“Yeah well, I grew up in the public education system in London, so that’s where I get it from.” You look on as the girl in the driver’s seat taps her fingers against the steering wheel, waiting for the red light to turn green.
“Really, I would’ve thought that they had you in private school from the second you popped out.” The green light stands out against the quickly darkening sky, starless and rather bleak, but that’s what you get for living in a big city.
“Nope, they wanted me to have a normal childhood, so here I am.” You motion to yourself, feeling the bumps and dips of the road beneath you, damn potholes.
“I mean fair enough right.” A certain quietness envelops the space between the two of you, it wasn’t uncomfortable, just present without any real purpose.
Your eyes slip shut, with Em turning the radio on, playing soft instrumental music like you weren’t in the middle of Boston where most people prefer hip hop and bubblegum pop. That was probably the biggest culture shock you'd been given so far, the music.
At home it was different, in a neutral way. It was neither better nor was it worse, but it was simply different.
You sink into your seat, the cool air blasting across your skin in that refreshing way, the summer’s heat canceled out by the air coming from the car. Slowly, sleep starts to take over your body in that calming sort of way that you’d wished for earlier.
It had only felt like moments since you’d fallen asleep as Em shakes your shoulders to get you to wake up, the pulsing music coming from the frat house a walking distance away already making your ears hurt. You look around at the surrounding nature, it wasn’t familiar to you, not the trees you’d found yourself memorizing nor the architecture present in Boston.
Even the people looked different, shirts with the printing of a dog on the front instead of the three books representing Harvard. Stupid of you to assume that Em would be rational for once.
“Where are we Em?” You ask, voice riddled with a sleepy kind of innocence that suggested that not everything had registered yet.
“We are in Connecticut, home of the huskies and what might be the best parties you’ll ever experience.” Your eyes shoot open wide, a more than flabbergasted look on your face at her naïve words.
“You kidnapped me and then drove me all the way to Connecticut for a party we could just as well have found in Boston?!” You ask her incredulously, like you couldn’t really believe her. And you couldn’t.
“Yeah, technically I did but you’ll also get to experience the party of your lifetime, so I think that it’s fine.” She tries to justify her actions by trying to reason with you, and whilst it doesn’t work in the way she wishes, Emma’s just happy you’re not totally freaking out.
“Come on grumpy, let’s go. Who knows, you might even have some fun.” Em pulls you along towards the house spewing flashing lights in a hundred different colors.
You let your eyes adjust to the blinking lights as you enter through the open front door, seeing the entire bottom floor of the mansion-like house covered with hundreds of students, packed together tightly like a sweaty sardine can.
The house reeks of bad body wash, moldy pits and strong cheap alcohol, and in a sense of the word Em really did tell the truth, you’d never seen anything like it before. It was almost like those frat boys couldn’t afford to buy deodorant.
If your arm wasn’t as firmly attached to your body as it was, you were sure that Emma would’ve torn it off by now, the resistance of the sweaty bodies pushing against your own as she leads you to the kitchen proving to be a difficult task for her weak arms.
Reaching the entrance of the large kitchen, the first thing you notice is that it’s not as tightly packed as the living room, only a few stragglers here and there with the stereotypical red solo cups can be found in every single person’s hand. Future alcoholists.
 “Okay, base rules since you’ve never been to a college party before, don’t take a drink from anyone you don’t know, don’t accept anyone’s request to go upstairs or somewhere private, you’ll most likely get robbed, don’t be too snarky, people don’t appreciate that and… I think that’s all. Have a nice night!” And with that she’s off to the living room, plucking a cup from a random man’s hand and taking a sip before leading him to the dance floor.
Yeah, base rules or whatever.
Standing alone in the kitchen, you suddenly feel so awkward. The only real parties you’d been to were the one’s your friends threw when your parents were away on their stupidly long business trips, just the chaotic friend group drinking together.
So this, college parties, was something that was totally out of your comfort zone and you’d never hated anyone as much as you hated Em right at that moment.
Spotting a boy out of the corner of your eye, you approach him with confident, yet still relatively hesitant steps, a question at the tip of your tongue. He looks up at you when you’re close enough to smell the odor of old spice deodorant and way too much sweat, his hat turned backwards on his head to hide the greasy hair still somehow poking its way through.
You almost feel bad for the poor thing, well that is until his mouth opens and you’re staring into the hell that is a frat boy’s gob. 
“‘Sup dude, what can I do for you?” His eyes run all along your body, from your ankles up to your face where he notices the annoyed expression.
“I was wondering if you had anything non alcoholic.” You smile staley, eyebrows furrowing together when his eyes light up like a kid on christmas. His laugh feels slightly insulting, especially when his hand comes up to point at you, but there’s really not a lot you could do.
“Dude totally, say the thing though.” You look at him confused, like you didn’t know what he meant. Spoiler alert; you did. “Y’know bo'ohw'o'wo'er.” 
He laughs again when you roll your eyes, and even if all you desire is to punch his stupid face in, you still say the phrase. Was it worth it for a coke? Eh, debatable.
He opens the fridge and throws you the can and laughs once more at your dirty look.
Sipping the drink slowly as you make your way around the house, the UConn students around you stare unashamedly at you, like they knew your face from somewhere, but you weren’t familiar per se. 
Your face scrunches up at the metallic taste of the American coke, much preferring the Mexican one they had in the canteen. You couldn’t complain too much though, you were the one who actually let yourself get dragged to the party.
It’s sudden, the way her eyes catch yours. Deep pools of endearing brown that capture your entire soul in a single second. The girl was mesmerizing as she stood leaning against the wall across from you, her long brown hair falling so effortlessly down her back.
Her gaze is just focussed on you for a second or two, her attention soon being stolen by the man standing in front of her, a sleazy smirk on his face as his eyes ran all along her body. It was clear that she was uncomfortable purely by the way her lips were turned downwards and the way her hands fiddled with the hem of her crop top.
There seems to be a lull in their one sided conversation as she looks to you almost pleadingly, getting the hint almost immediately, you walk over with confident steps, dropping the now empty can on the floor on the way.
The man is almost as tall as you, his burly shoulders disproportionate to the rest of his awkward body, his meaty hands gripping the red cup tightly like he was afraid someone would steal it from him. His hooded eyes do a once over when he spots you nearing them, almost turning a green pale at the sight of you.
You don’t understand why, there was no way you knew him and being recognised as Harvard’s newest addition would be unlikely. Especially in Connecticut.
“Everything alright here?” The girl seems startled by your accent, but she quickly schools her features so as to not show her surprise. Her hands wrap around your waist, and when you look down at her she looks back up at you with pleading eyes, asking you to just go along with it for the time being.
Your arm wraps around her shoulders and she leans into your body almost subconsciously, like you’ve known each other for much longer than you have.
“Yeah, everything’s going good.” He says, not backing down despite having been nervous at your mere presence only seconds before.
“Really? Because from where I stood it looked like you were flirting with my girlfriend.” You don’t even get the satisfaction of watching his gummy smile fade from his thin lips as he takes in your words, because he walks away from you before you can see it.
It makes you chuckle, especially since he walks up to another girl almost immediately, getting turned down in the same second.
“You okay?” You question the girl in your arms, her hand still resting on your waist as you take her in. You can feel her hair against your arm, her nails digging into your skin ever so slightly and the rest of her body pressed so tightly against your own.
“Yeah, he just wouldn’t leave me alone, thank you for the help.” She smiles at you sweetly, her brown eyes shining under the flashing lights. You smile back at her softly, noticing the way her grip loosens, you quickly let up on your grip of her shoulders.
Her unsure steps catch your attention as she takes your hand in her soft one, just like Em had done earlier in the evening.
“Where are you taking me?” You laugh through the sentence as she tries to pull you through the crowd of people, stumbling over her feet clumsily every so often.
“Do you like burgers?” She questions hastily, nearly having pulled you all the way to the front door already, she was a lot stronger than Em that’s for sure.
"Doesn't everyone?” You smile goofily when she looks back at you, her eyes narrowed playfully when you send her a wink. It’s only when you’re already out the door that you realize that Em is still in there, with people you don't know. Strangers.
You stop walking, the girl’s hand still in yours as she too stops, looking back at you confused.
“I’m sorry but my friend, Em, is still in there and I don’t want to leave her alone with strangers.” Her eyes light up again and you look at her weirdly, not understanding why she looked so happy that you had to leave.
“Em Whitmore?” She giggles at the shocked look on your face, clearly you didn’t know much about Em, the girl thinks to herself. You look at her suspiciously, how did she know Em?
“Yeah…how’d you know?” You ask her, still suspicious of her pretty intoxicated form. Her laugh carries all throughout the empty night, no one out and about except you and the mystery girl who’s soft hand is still in yours.
“I know her brother, she comes to a lot of parties here, because she knows she’ll be safe.” The brunette starts pulling you along again and you let yourself follow her, no longer worried about your Harvard counterpart. Her brother wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her.
By the time you reach the 50’s themed diner, you’ve already walked for ten minutes, side by side with the dark haired girl. You’re lucky that it wasn’t too far away, the half stumbling girl beside you probably wouldn’t have been able to walk that far without falling over.
The bell at the top of the door chimes when she pushes it open, the bored looking cashier perking up when he sees your companion. It was empty in the diner and you couldn’t imagine that keeping it open for this long wasn’t only for the drunk college students looking for a quick snack.
She drags you over to a booth in the corner, decorated in red and white stripes, a glass with straws standing in the middle of the table with a napkin holder beside it.
“Welcome to Donna’s Diner, what can I get for you?” The boy from the counter comes up to the booth after you’ve both settled, handing the two of you plastic menus. The dark haired girl smiles up at him, that fantastic glint in her eye once more.
“Come on now Alex, no need to be all professional.” You look up at him from where you’re sitting, his blonde hair curling around his ears, green eyes staring into yours kindly, thin fingers clasping the small notebook in his hands.
“Alex, this is my new friend, she knows Callum’s little sister, mystery friend, this is Alex and he’s in one of my classes.” You smile at him softly, sticking your hand out for him to shake, and he does take it in a confident grip, sending you a smile of his own.
“I’m Y/n.” Now the mystery girl looks up at you, finally a name attached to your face.
“Nika, I already know what you want, but how about you?” He looks to you when he speaks, obviously you wouldn’t know what to order, it being your first time there and all.
“I’ll just have whatever she’s having with a chocolate milkshake.” Alex disappears behind the counter again, your eyes following his retreating form. Looking away from the kitchen door, your eyes quickly meet the ones of the girl you now know as Nika.
One of her hands was tucked under her chin, keeping her head up in order to look at you. Relaxing into the cushions behind you, the small smile slowly taking over your face suddenly becomes full blown.
“What is it?” She giggles under her breath at your inquisitive look, and despite not knowing much more than her name, you already felt like she knew your soul inside and out.
“Nothing…it’s just that this is the last place I would’ve thought that you would bring me to.” The furrow in her brow is frankly quite adorable, her head turning to the side just in time to catch Alex walking out the kitchen with your food. 
You see the way her eyes light up again, the platter of pure greasy goodness at the center of her attention right at that moment. All you could think about at that second was how thankful you were that the season hadn’t started yet, because everything there broke every single diet you could think of.
Looking to the brunette, the laugh bubbling up from the pit of your stomach is almost one of wonder, because the beautiful girl had already managed to get through half the burger that was in front of her. It seemed like her intoxicated brain only was focussed on one thing, satiating her hunger.
It isn’t long until you follow her lead, picking up the burger and just trying to get the most you could of it in your mouth. You can’t help the groan that escapes you when the exquisite flavours hit your taste buds all at once, having to lean back into the cushions of the booth to be able to take it all in, closing your eyes fully to enhance the experience even further.
It’s only when she laughs that you finally open your eyes again, only to see her looking right at you like you were made of glass, like she could read you like a book and then play you like a fiddle.
“I understand, I had the exact same reaction when I tried it.” She continues to giggle at you when you start to eat like a poor man starved. It was a funny sight to be fair, the way your fancy act completely disappears when in contact with amazing food.
“How’d you even find this place?” You question her when you’ve swallowed and wiped your mouth off with a napkin, you still had manners after all. She smiles at you, gesturing at your surroundings, at the tables and the booths, the chairs and the ketchup bottles, at everything.
“I was drunk after a party once in freshman year and I just stumbled across it.” You nod in response, completely understanding the randomness of how she’d found the place. When you’re drunk, all you want is some greasy food.
“So it’s a well guarded secret between the students then? I assume there’s usually more people here at this time of night.” You take a sip of the milkshake when the last word has fallen from your lips, heat spreading across your face at the intense look you’re getting from the brunette in front of you.
It’s probably just because she’s drunk, you think quietly to yourself, almost trying to convince your mind that the stupidly attractive smile on her face was just one of momentary value, that it was only because it was late and you were tired that it affected you in the way it did.
“Yeah, something like that.” She responds, a comfortable silence enveloping you two as you continue to eat.
The only thing that could be heard was the murmur of the fan across the room, the patting of the fingers of the boy, Alex, at the counter and the sound of shallow breathing. Well that was until her accented voice breaks it with a question.
“So, how’d you manage to befriend the girl with the scariest brother ever?” Nika asks you, her fingers playing with the napkin she’d taken only moments before. Her teeth capture her bottom lip softly as she looks at you tentatively, she’s positively driving you nuts with her pure unfiltered beauty.
“Well, for starters we both play football for Harvard, but she was the first one there to greet me, to help me pack up the necessities and all that. She never did mention a brother though.” You relish in the way she looks at you, all flustered and sweet despite you not having done anything in particular. It was adorable. Pause.
She nods absentmindedly, opening her mouth to speak before closing it and then opening it again, resembling a fish out of water more than anything.
“Were you going to say something love?” You ask the now blushing girl, and she hides her face in her hands at the embarrassment, clearly having zoned out for a little while there.
Reaching over, you pat her shoulder comfortingly before you ask her your next question.
“How about you? How do you know Em’s brother?” Nika reaches over the table to steal a few of your fries, laughing at the betrayed look on your face.
Maybe it was the drinks or maybe you were just funnier than you’d originally thought, either way the angelic sound of her laughing had graced your ears many times that evening. Not that you minded, you didn’t even mind a little bit.
“He plays basketball, I play basketball, and sometimes we train together.” You can’t help the feeling taking over you, the burning feeling that makes you question everything you’d ever known about yourself. Just the thought of your friend’s brother getting to enjoy her company makes the feeling inside you that much worse.
 It seems like she sees the way your expression changes just that little bit before it goes back to normal.
“So, you’re like…close?” You ask the basketball player timidly, rolling your eyes only seconds later when the brunette decides to take a sip of your milkshake.
“No, not especially close. I mean, we talk when we have to at the shared training sessions, but not outside of it. But realistically though, who in the world of college sports doesn’t know Callum Whitmore?” Looking at her cluelessly, you sarcastically shrug as if to say you, because you truly hadn’t known a single thing about the man before she had told you.
By the third time Nika reaches for your fries, you decide to just push them towards her and let her have them, you weren’t even hungry after the monster burger you’d just consumed. It wasn’t at all just because she was too pretty not to get whatever she wanted. Pause.
“You want to switch?” She gestures to your drinks, she’d gotten a strawberry milkshake that she didn’t seem to fancy all that much right at that moment. Sighing goodnaturedly, you give her a nod and allow her to take whatever was left of your shake, smiling softly as you sip absentmindedly at the pink shake she’d given you. 
Soon enough, the only thing that could be heard over the natural noise of the diner was the slight slurping every so often.
“I just got to go wash up, then I’ll walk you home, okay?” The brunette nods as she looks at you leaving, pulling out her phone to seemingly start to text someone not long after.
You walk up to Alex, who’s still standing at the counter and he smiles in your direction when you near, only seeing you out of the corner of his eye. Pulling out your wallet, you hold out your card to him.
“Could you do a to go order? God knows she’ll need that in the morning.” You nod your head in Nika’s direction, Alex smiling widely at you.
“You know, I’ve never seen her with you before…” His voice trails off, as if to tell you to fill in the blanks.
“Yeah, we only met tonight.” You smile at him staley, not understanding why the timeline of events was so important.
“You must be special then if she brought you here, it’s not often she brings anyone other than her friends here after a night out. Nico, drop me two burgers on the grill, one choc milkshake and a strawberry one.” As you walked towards the bathroom of the establishment, putting your card back in your wallet, you started to think about his words, wasn’t this place well known? What made it so special to Nika that the server had to point out how she never brought strangers there?
Wiping your hands off on your trousers, you go up to your table to collect Nika before swinging by the counter to pick up your to-go order, the brown paper bag looking out of place next to the two of you. It seems like she’s sobered up at least a little as she looks at you questioningly, her eyes soon falling to the bag in your hands and then back up at your face.
The bell chimes again when the two of you exit the diner, the cooling air of the late night a contrast to the warm atmosphere of the diner.
“What’s that for?” The furrow in her brow is so endearing that you almost feel the skip in your heartbeat, her eyes narrowing at you ever so slightly. Her arm threads through yours, one of your hands in the pocket of your trousers, creating the perfect space for her arm to go through.
You sneak a glance at her, flyaways being highlighted by the streetlights you were passing. Her head meets your shoulder as you start to walk back to the party, her apartment couldn’t be too far from it considering she hadn’t mentioned anything when you offered to walk her home.
“It’s for you, I just know that hungover Nika is going to crave Donna’s diner’s milkshakes to calm her raging headache.” You tease her softly, but there was definite truth there either way.
If there was one thing you knew about being hungover, then it was that good food usually helped at least a little (well, after the spells of throwing up everything from the previous night.) You give her a cheeky smile as you near the party once more, the booming music being heard from miles away. 
“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.” She speaks sincerely, you just smile at her in response, did you have to do it? No, but she’d kept you company all night so you did it anyway.
“Hey, can I just stop by my friend’s car before I walk you home? I just have to get something.” You were so thankful that you’d stolen the keys from Em before you went into the party only hours before. Leading her to the beat up truck, unlocking it and opening the door, you place the bag on the ground before you look through the glove compartment.
Finding the cartridge of painkillers and the pen that you were searching for with a small ‘aha’. The post-it notes Em always kept in her car finally came to use when you stole one, writing a quick message on it before sticking it to the plastic of the painkillers and dropping it down the brown paper bag.
You lock the car up, despite it being a piece of shit that no one would ever steal, Em always insisted on you locking it. 
Walking up to her side once more, you open your mouth to speak.
“So, lead the way home love.” You gesture for her to take the lead, it was her apartment after all. Taking your free hand in hers, the girl starts to lead you towards her apartment building, walking calmly side by side with your hands swinging between your bodies.
After passing countless trees, and even more cars, you suddenly find yourselves at the bottom of the slanted hill leading up to where she lives, and when you actually start to walk up the long walkway, it’s slowly almost like you’re both resisting the natural order of events.
But you had to leave her, both Em and Harvard were waiting for you and no matter how much you tried to resist, you knew that’s ultimately where you had to go, it was your life even if the girl you’d just met seemed far more interesting than anything.
When you reach the top, just meters away from the door, you hand her the bag, smiling timidly when she reached out to hug you, her inviting perfume enveloping you in a blanket of warmth. When she pulls away, she thanks you one last time for your kindness.
“Really, it’s no problem.” You reassure her, smiling softly when she turns back towards you one last time before the distance between you becomes larger and larger, her fingers soon punching in the code to open the door.
“Wait!” You call out for her right as she’s about to enter the building, her head turning back to you questioningly. “Don’t forget to put it in the fridge when you get in.” She smiles and nods before disappearing behind the door.
You start your walk back to the party a few minutes after the door has closed, something just keeping you rooted to the ground. It wasn't until you heard your name get called by that familiar voice that you turned around, seeing Nika through her open window, waving at you as you walked away.
It almost felt like you were in some cheesy romance movie as you waved back, turning to walk away after she closed her window. 
Truth be told, the evening had felt like something straight out of a romcom and some part deep down loved it. It loved the cheesy moments of pure unbridled love, the ability to express yourself freely, to dance in the rain, be your true authentic self in front of someone else was something you didn’t even know you longed for before you met Nika.
You shove your hands into the pockets of your trousers, every step you take moving you closer and closer to the frat house, closer to Em and closer to getting back to Boston.
Seeing Em sitting out on the steps of the house has you confused, why was she out there?
“Em? What are you doing out here?” You ask the clearly incredibly intoxicated Emma, your loud voice not even startling her, her slow movements showing just how drunk she is. The squeal she lets out when she sees you has you covering your ears, the intrusive sound killing your tired head.
She tries to stand up, but it just looks like Bambi on ice, stumbling and falling at every second. You come up and sling her arm around your shoulder, bringing her over to her car and sitting her down in the passenger seat.
“I’m not cleaning up if you throw up in here, just so you know.” She nods drunkenly, clearly not understanding a word you were saying.
“The reason why I was sitting outside is a long story.” She leans her head against the window, and knowing Em, she was probably imagining herself in a music video right at that moment.
“You can tell me tomorrow.” The car starts with a rumble and you pull out of the parking space on the side of the road, quickly pulling out and starting to drive on the main road.
It’s quiet for a while and you almost believe that Emma’s asleep, well almost since her feet move back and forth against the floor every so often.
“Where were you huh? What were you doing?” Her words are incredibly slurred and you can barely make out what it is she’s trying to say.
“None of your business mate.” She snickers at you, reading way too much into your response than she should have.
“You got some.” The way your face turns red doesn’t help your case even in the slightest, especially when she herself points out your reddening cheeks.
“Shut up and go to sleep, Em.” Your voice cracks in the middle of the sentence, still embarrassed by her insinuation.
“Mhm, you totally got some pussy.” You sigh as she laughs again, she was clearly getting a lot more joy from the situation than you were.
“Go to sleep Em.”
“Mhm.”
Maybe she had been right after all, maybe you had fun and maybe, just maybe the decision to go to the party was a good one. Not that you’d ever let her know that.
382 notes · View notes
bubbles0bop · 4 months
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thankyou for taking reqs!!! jjk- any of the jjk men (preferably suguru/toji/satoru) watching their girl best friend who they claim to have no feelings for whatsoever pole dance for the first time and feeling some typa way lol...it doesn't have to be anything too out there...just a little sensual sultry and moody??? way of the househusband-there arent enough content for this fandom :((- miku is pregnant and tatsu is over the moon...he does EVERYTHINGGG for her to make sure she's all comfy and cared for...
A/N: thank you for requesting! i decided it would be best to split this into two parts where the second will be posted on my page immediately after!
JJK Men Seeing their Crush Pole Dance
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Includes: Sataru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro
Disclaimers: Adult content! some feminine descriptives used, clubs, alcohol, smoking, flirting, sexual scenarios, no smut
Sataru Gojo
You and Sataru had been friends for as long as you could remember, practically connected by the hip since childhood and through your teen years.
Even to this day it was a rarity for your friends to see you two separated. The running joke was that everyone knew you both were practically soul mates. You two were the only ones who didn't see it - Living in a slow pit of denial.
One night, you had invited your best friend over for dinner and a movie (which was an often occurrence between you two), as you both enjoyed some sushi on your living room couch.
Almost reaching halfway through the movie, a thought came to your mind, "you know i've been trying this new type of exercise lately..." You trailed off, mouth full of sushi, honestly struggling to be heard over the sound of the TV.
"Good. You need it," Gojo snickered teasingly. God, for as long as he's known you and he still tried to get on your nerves.
"Yeah, you're one to talk- As if you even have any hobbies.." you retorted with a roll to the eye. He mostly ignored your comeback, waiting for you to continue speaking.
"Well, honestly it's kinda out there but i think you'd get a kick of it."
He raised an eyebrow at you, "What is it, naked yoga or something? You really don't need to show me that," He giggled.
You let out a sigh at his poor attempt at a joke, putting your bowl down on the table next to the couch. You stand, waiting for him to follow your actions. He stuffed one large bite of sushi in his mouth before following you down the hall of your apartment towards the bedroom.
What he saw is something that he really did not expect- a tall black pole was bolted from the ceiling to the floor, and it had one obvious purpose.
You laughed to yourself, "Okay, don't make fun of me yet, it really works. Just watch."
He was absolutely stunned by your words, thinking 'she can't actually be serious right now... is this her way of flirting with me?'
In all honesty-maybe it was.
He quickly figured out how seriously you were, as you reach a leg up high, wrapping your knee around the pole, letting it spin you. You let your arm lose and followed this action by grabbing the pole with your hand again, this time above your leg.
Sataru felt heat envelope his whole body. He just watched you out on a show for him, gazing across your body as it moved.
The heat traveled south.
You, the girl he had known since elementary, was in from of him, preforming some sort of performance as if it was just your every day activity.
Soon enough, you catch his gaze and let your movements cease. Your mind envelopes in worry for all the wrong reasons, thinking you've embarrassed yourself.
You blurt out, "Oh god, that was really bad wasn't it? Honestly, I kind of thought it would make you laugh-" Sataru lets you rant as he watches you step closer to him. He doesn't pay an ounce of attention to your speech, though, as he has different thoughts plaguing his mind.
He lets his intrusive thoughts take over his actions, pulling you by your waist and onto his lap. You're sputtering some words of embarrassment and confusion, but Sataru decides that the best way to ease your mind would be to pull you in with a kiss.
God, he's been waiting for this for a long time...
Geto Suguru
Telling Sugaru that you wanted to try a new profession was basically your downfall. While he fully supported you, you first requested that he not visit you at work, mostly because you were new and VERY embarrassed by your "lack of skill."
Honestly, you should have known from the start that he would never listen to you, and would take any chance to witness you being flustered and embarrassed.
You seeing your best friend waltz into the establishment while you were on shift actually turned your cheeks to a darker shade of red than humanly possible. If anyone were to be mistaken, they could've assumed you were on the brink of heat exhaustion. Thankfully, at the current moment, you were serving drinks to the VIP section when you spotted Suguru waltzing in the club.
He scanned the room, trying to catch a glimpse of you, but you duck your head a little lower as an attempt to avoid his gaze.
You took a quick check of the time before bidding your goodbyes to your guests. It was almost time for your turn on stage.
You could feel yourself start to sweat, not wanting to face the embarrassment of your best friend catching you in this state. Making your way through the crowd of men, you are interrupted by the sound of a whistle from across the room.
"Good luck out there." Suguru spoke loudly (as to be heard over the music of the club) and sent you a wink.
You rushed to the back room, face turning res, as you realize you are now definitely going to have to face this humiliating situation.
Your coworker gestures to you as she makes her way off stage, signaling it's your turn. You grab some accessories (a thin scarf- enough to leave nothing to the imagination) and you head towards the stage in a skimpy, feminine outfit.
You receive a generous round of applause from the crowd as you enter stage. The DJ starts playing some sultry music as you approach the middle of the floor and you catch yourself feeling the music.
You start by teasing the crowd, moving through your regular routine.
You pull the scarf away from your shoulders, sensually, revealing more of your cleavage from underneath. You use your scarf to wrap around the pole, moving your leg upwards in a sexy motion.
Suguru found himself getting heated in the crowd as he watched you. You were enticing to every extent. Honestly, he had never really thought about the way that your body could move until this moment, and it turned him on big time.
Recognizing these thoughts brought him to shame, trying to dismiss them. But damn, did you look good. How could you have been embarrassed when you are obviously graced with talent?
He bit his lip at the realization that his pants were becoming tighter and he knew exactly why.
As for you, you finish your set without a second thought, forgetting for a moment about your friend sitting in the audience. You waved a thankful goodbye to the crowd as they clapped their hands together, shooting off whistles. 
You are making your way back to the main floor when you once again encounter your best friend, who was patiently waiting for you outside the door. The actually almost looked a little angry? Was he.. Jealous?
"Hey, Suguru, uhm, how did you like it..?" You asked while rubbing your shoulders, trying to console your own embarrassment.
He replies, raising his chin up in a flirtatious manner, "Oh, I liked it, alright. Maybe from now on i'll have to make private appointments.."
Toji Fushiguro
Being Tojis coworker meant that he always had his eyes on you. So when you casually mentioned to him that you had gotten a side job at the local club, it definitely caught his attention.
It was his idea to go out on a guys night to the same establishment this weekend- a total coincidence, of course.
Him and the guys walked into the club, instantly dispersing into their own areas of pleasure- a couple to the bar, another, off to the dance floor to flirt with some women- but Toji instantly had his eyes on the stage, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.
Toji really wasn't shy about his attraction to you, so you have a smokin hot body? Nothin' else to it. Just here to give some oh so loving support to his coworker..
A bouncer walked up to where he sat in the lounge, offering him some drinks, effectively starting his tab for the night. He was served a glass of whiskey, carefully gripping the glass in his hand as he started downing the liquor.
It took one or two performers to finally catch a glimpse of you on the stage. You were adorned in black and waltzing out onto the stage to a sultry song. You didn't seem to pay much mind to the crowd, and definitely not noticing your close friend in the audience.
You started your usual routine, wrapping yourself sensually around the pole, soaking in the sea of eyes in you from around the club. Toji took notice of this, letting out a loud whistle, hoping it would catch your attention away from all the other gazes.
Toji took his eyes off of you for only a mere couple of seconds to look around the room. All eyes were on you as your performance had gained the attention of almost all of the patrons, who had previously been occupied with their own pleasures. This made Toji's stomach start to burn with jealously.
He returned his eyes back to you as you finished the end of your set. He stood up, clapping with the rest of the crowd- this did, however, catch your attention as you walked off the stage, giving a polite wave to the club before disappearing off stage.
You felt your cheeks burn and you lowered your gaze to the black floor, which made a small 'click' with each step of your heels. You really haven't had any shame involving your profession until now, but for some reason you couldn't feel anything other than embarrassment.
You knew that the best way to deal with this was to go out into the crowd and find him, maybe to settle your worries.
You slide through the curtain that separated the crowd from the back stage area, to find Toji once again laying back in his seat in the lounge. This time, he held a sweet cigarette to his lips. He takes one last huff as he watches you strut towards him before tossing it to the nearest ash tray.
"So? You couldn't get enough of me at work?" You question slyly. You assumed he has only come here to embarrass you, but the look in his eye makes you think differently.
A low chuckle falls from his lips as he rises to meet your gaze. "I can't say you're wrong, sweetheart. But that show you gave was more than enough..." His voice was deep and he punctuated his words by laying a seductive hand to your waist. You could tell that he was tipsy but that didn't stop your cheeks from burning at his flirtatious actions. "How about we leave these losers to gawk and catch a room of our own?"
He didn't exactly leave you room to argue as he started pulling your wrist to the nearest exit, not that you really cared to protest anyway.
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vivian-pascal · 20 days
Text
I Don't Love You Anymore
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joel x f!reader
summary: Joel had been with you for a while, you both had a nice house in New York City, he'd seen the way you'd look at him and he just knew that if he stayed for too long, you'd never find your true love. He knows he's way too old for you and you need a younger man, much younger. So he does something that will tear both you and him apart. Forever.
warnings: angst, crying, pushing and shoving, mention of what reader wears, reader slams her fists and they bleed.
authors note: i've been feeling really down in the dumps lately. I just feel like my life is slowly spiraling downhill. so I thought i'd write some lovely angst to pour my heart and soul out too!
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Joel parks his truck on the driveway. Staying inside the car, thinking. Closing his eyes and breathing in deeply. He doesn't want to do this, god, he never ever thought he'd have to do this. Especially with you.
When you both met, you were in the airport and he had just gotten off his flight from Texas. He was heading to New York for a vacation. To get away from the suburbs and get into some classy skyscrapers.
You were walking with your phone in your hand and your headphones in. You didn't bother to look up and the next thing you know, you run into a person. Taking your headphones off, you look up to see a man.
He has salt and peppered hair, small gruff forming on his chin. You run your eyes down his entire body and instantly fall in love.
When he first saw you, he fell hard. Your small little body and the way you looked at him the day you met. He just couldn't stay away from you. He wanted to be with you every second, every hour, every day. He loved you with all his heart. You meant everything to him.
He reminisces on the days you two cuddled in bed together, laughing at each other's jokes. He chuckles to himself as he remembers you with whipped cream all over your face because he had dumped your head in cake since it was your birthday.
He turns the key in the ignition and opens the car door. Closing it, he rests his head on the window and breathes in one more time. He stands up and begins to walk to your door. He lifts his hand up and rests it on the door.
He knocks once. Patiently waiting for your sweet smile and that soft smell of your perfume. He sees the door open and there you are. His lovely girl. Standing there in a gorgeous flower dress, your hair is in a braid with little bows in the back. You smile up at him and he breathes in the smell of you for the last time.
He smiles shyly and you welcome him into your home. "Hey baby, what ya here for?" You twirl towards him and grab his hands. He pulls one back and rubs the back of his neck.
"Uh darlin', we need to talk." His face instantly twists as the small hint of fear crosses your face. "Oh." You gulp deeply as you let go of his hand. "Okay."
He walks into the living room and sits down on the lounge chair as you sit across from him on the couch. You look down at the floor and play with your hands. Waiting for him to say something.
He clears his throat and begins to speak. "I'm leaving. Tonight." Your face shoots up as your eyes instantly water. "What? When? What time? Why didn't you tell me earlier Joel? Where are you going?" His eyes become teary as he sees your panicked state. He never wanted to do this. Why is he doing this?
He closes his eyes and tries to blink away the tears. "I'm uh, heading back to Texas." You stand up and your eyes go back and forth between his face. "Joel what!? Why? I-I thought you liked it here. We have a house and-" He shushes you as he stands up and grabs your hands.
He stares down at your blood shot eyes looking into his. You look up at him mouth agape. "Are you breaking up with me?" It physically hurts him to hear the words. He closes his eyes and looks down. You remove your hands from his and look at him angrily.
"Is this what this is Joel? Your plan on breaking up with me!" He opens his eyes and sees your angry, teary, messy face. Your mascara running down your face and smudging the collar of your dress.
"Now, darlin', I-" "Don't you fucking call me that Joel." You scream at him and his face goes pale. He's never heard you yell like that before. It's like a dagger piercing through his heart over and over again.
You walk up to him and point your finger at his chest. "So all those memories we made meant nothing to you? Am I nothing to you Joel." He shakes his head and tries to back away. "No, you mean everythin to me. I don't know what I'd do if I never met you." You stand up straight and begin to chuckle.
"So if you loved me that much than why the fuck are you leaving me!" You push him and he hits the wall. Hard. Tears start falling from his eyes as he sees his girl a mess. You both just look at each other as you both cry.
He removes himself from the wall and slowly starts to walk towards you. "Don't you dare take another fucking move Joel. I swear to god." He stops in his tracks and stands a few feet away. "You don't deserve me. M'too old f'ya and I can barely do nothin'. M'not as excitin as I used to be when I was younger. You deserve someone who can take care of ya and be there f'ya when you get older." His southern drawl coming out stronger than ever as he cries.
You stare at him in distraught as he rubs his stray tears away. "Don't deserve you? Joel we've been together for two fucking years. If I didn't 'deserve' you, I would've left already." You walk towards him and grab his hands. You looks you in the eyes and shakes his head. He removes his hands and begins to walk to the door.
"Joel, where are you going? You can't just leave!" You run after him and grab onto his shirt. More tears fall from his face as he sees your tiny body trying to get him back. He opens the door and stops to look at you. "I'm sorry." He shuts the door but you immediately open it.
"Joel come back!" You run in the rain. Following him to his truck as he gets in it. You bang on the window as he backs off the driveway and leaves. You fall to your knees and scream and cry until your heart can't take it anymore. Soaking in the blankness of which was once full. You slam your fists onto the pavement of the driveway.
You pick them up to see that they're bleeding but you don't care. Nothing in your mind is making sense. 'Why'd he leave?.' 'Did he even love me?' 'Was this all a lie?'
You scream into the air and cry out. As Joel leaves, he can hear your horrid cries and bangs his hand on the window. Tears fall from his face as he sees your small body becoming a tiny speck. Nothing seems to matter anymore for him, or for you, because it seems as tho he never loved you.
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tags!
@morallyinept @mermaidgirl30 @rav3n-pascal22 @mountainsandmayhem @amyispxnk @pinkcrystal44 @guelyury @iamsherloocked @itsokbbygrl @heartpascalispunk @littlevenicebitch69 @brittmb115 @kotourasan123 @simplewanderer @tupelomiss @heartramen @sinful-mind-joyful-thoughts @yorksgirl
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bunnie-online · 8 months
Text
desperate boy. {A.S.}
pairing: sub!Anakin Skywalker x dom! fem reader
MINORS DNI. THIS IS 18+
summary: after not seeing you for weeks, Anakin can't wait to feel you again.
warnings: femdom, slight humiliation kink, teasing, orgasm denial.
word count: 1,059
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Anakin was so far gone. His mind was betraying him while he was trying to fly himself and Obi-Wan back to the Jedi temple safely. He knew that he was going to see you soon, every time he tried to think about something wholesome, thought of you bent over, panting and screaming his name flooded his thoughts. It was a painfully long flight home, trying to keep himself at bay, figuratively and literally. As soon as the speeder touched down, Anakin basically sprinted from the landing pad to your room. To his surprise you were there waiting for him. He nearly knocked you over when he embraced you, squeezing you tightly. "Oh.. How I've missed you." He whispers huskily, making you shiver.
"Anakin, wait until we get into my room, we could be caught!" You giggle, Anakin nipping at your neck started to tickle. He opens your door with the Force, and backs you into your own room, his body never leaving yours. He backs you into a wall. "Ani.. Ani..." you gasp in between Anakin's impatient kisses. "Anakin!" you say sternly. He jumps. You can feel the goosebumps form on his skin. "You need to learn how to wait." Your voice low and seductive. You place you hands on his chest and move him backwards. His gorgeous blue eyes are blown out, widened with surprise. " 'm sorry" he slurs his words, already drunk off the pleasure that he has yet to receive. "You're going to do everything I say. Understood?" you gaze into his eyes, making your place known. "Y-Yes. I understand." he stutters out, but still nods obediently. "Kneel." you command. He drops to his knees, no questions asked. His eyes almost tearing up, awaiting your next command. You waltz around him, circling him like he's your personal, pretty prey. Anakin is basically shaking in anticipation. "Now, do you think that coming in here, forcing yourself upon me like a depraved horny being, makes you a good boy?" You ask, trailing you pointer finger along his jawline, forcing him to make eye contact with you. He shakes his head in shame. "Words, Anakin." you reprimand him. "No. It doesn't." his voice barely above a whisper. "And bad boys don't get what they want, do they?" you look down on him, your eyes darkening. "No... they do not." he was so delectably embarrassed, his arousal begging to be set free. "So. You're gonna listen and be a good boy, okay? Then I'll think about giving you what you want." an audible whine comes from him as soon as you finish your sentence. "I'll be good! I'll listen! I promise!" his voice is slightly pitched up, desperation dripping off of every single word. "Ah ah ah... Too eager. You need to wait, baby." you stroke his cheek, earning another whine from the very pretty boy kneeling in front of you. "Can't wait anymore" his voice cracks. "Need you, need to cum, please, it's been so long." He's almost in tears. Your heart (and other parts) aches for him, poor thing, he probably didn't touch himself the whole time he was gone, he's probably gonna burst soon. You get down on his level, joining him on the floor. "You've been so pent up, huh?" you take his face into both of your hands. He nods frantically. "Mhm! Haven't cum in so long, was waiting for you." tears of embarrassment and frustration well up in his eyes. "Oh you poor baby." You say, your voice feigning sympathy. "I'm gonna help you, okay Pumpkin." your voice sounded sweet, but your intentions are nothing but sinister. "Oh thank you, thank you." he repeats, already panting heavily. "Stand up, pretty boy." you order. He stands, his legs shaking from the adrenaline and anticipation. You couldn't ignore his arousal if you tried. It made the heat between your thighs grow more and more unbearable. You can't give in now though, how will your impatient, desperate boy learn his lesson? You can't reward his behavior. He has to learn. "Lean against the wall." you command him. He steps behind you, to switch your places. You turn around, still on your knees. "Be good for me, Ani." your voice low and commanding, making the man before you shiver. His voice caught in his throat, only leaving him to nod. You pull his pants down, suddenly, causing him to gasp, he looks away, his face suddenly crimson red. "Oh~ would you look at that. My boy is so sooo needy, hm?" you lean in and place a kiss on his left thigh. "Ohh" he groans, having you so painfully close to where he wants you, resisting the urge to grab your hand and place himself inside it.
"pleasepleaseplease" He whispered frantically as you continue to plant kisses all over his thighs and pelvis, actively avoiding his cock. "Still so desperate." you lightly graze your index finger along his shaft, stopping at the tip. "Ah! Please I'm too sensitive for this" he whines.
"Oh, I'm sorry, handsome. I shouldn't tease should I?" You plant another kiss right next to the base of his dick. Earning a whine, paired with a thrust of his hips. You decided to give in... for now,
You wrap you hand around him, stroking up and down while maintaining eye contact with him, until his roll into the back of his head. He's moaning loudly, his body spasming every once and a while. He wasn't lying when he said he was sensitive. "Aw Ani. I haven't even done anything yet." you laugh. His face flushes once more, he hide in his hands. You decide to push the limits and put him in your mouth. He got louder, his hands moving from his face to your hair. "Ah! No no no I'm so close already. Fuck!" he moans, you're convinced the entire Jedi temple can hear him, that spurs you on. You pick up your pace. "B-Babe. Baby! If you don't stop, 'm gonna cum!" he cries out. You take this as your sign to pull off of him. "Well if you say so." You wipe your mouth with your thumb, never breaking eye contact with him. You stand up. "W-Wait no! Wait don't stop!" His voice breaks, you could've sworn a tear rolled down his cheek. "Remember, Anakin. Only good boys get what they want."
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ahhh this was my first time writing in a WHILE, let alone writing smut AHHH i'm sorry if this is ass
~ bunnie!
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christhopersturniolo · 2 months
Text
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୨ pregnancy test ୧ matt
summary: y/n finds out she’s pregnant for the second time.
notes: english is not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! 1.2k words.
warnings: fluff, cussing, sad, panic attack.
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Me and Matt have been dating for the past 5 years, we live together and we also have a 2 years old little kid, called Evie. Well, being honest, Evie wasn’t really expected, but she was never a problem. We do love having Evie at home, even It being a little bit exhausting.
Lately my stomach has not been the best. I've been feeling nauseous all the time. I throw up almost every night, and on top of it, my period is late.
Am I pregnant?
I didn’t told any of this to Matt, and honestly, I really don’t know how he would react. I mean, we never talked about a second child, he never talked about another child, he probably doesn’t even want another child. Fuck really I gotta stop overthinking.
Now, In bed, Matt just fell asleep. And I’m struggling to. I just can’t fall asleep thinking that I can possibly be pregnant.
I get up quietly, trying not to wake up Matt. I go over to the bathroom and I close the door behind me. I look at myself in the mirror. I look tired. I take a deep breath. With shaky hands, I reach out for the pregnancy test that I bought yesterday. I do the test. I wait and wait. I bit my nails stressful. I start getting anxious.
As soon as I check the test, positive. Holy fuck. There’s no way this is actually happening.
My vision blurs, the whole room feels like It’s spinning. I sit on the floor, trying to stay calm. Each breath comes in short, ragged gasps as I fight against the suffocating weight of my anxiety. Tears stream down my cheeks uncontrollably as my heart races. I need Matt. I need to be in his arms. But what will he say?
Im sobbing completely, I can’t see a shit, my panic attack is just getting worst.
I start hearing steps in the hallway. I know it’s Matt, I hide the test behind me. He opens the door. “Babe why are you not in bed-“ Matt's sleepy and concerned voice trails off as he notices me crying on the floor, he automatically sits down next to me and pulls me into a hug, his arms wrapping around me with a comforting strength that I desperately need in that moment.
I bury my face against his chest, my tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt as he holds me close. I cling to him desperately, my body shaking with sobs as he holds me tight.
"Shh.. It's okay.. I'm right here for you.. Focus on me babe..” I keep sobbing and crying aggressively, non stop.
Matt cups my cheeks with his hands, lifting my head from his chest. “I need you to take a deep breath in..” He demonstrates how to do It. “Now, let it out..”
After a few moments of breathing, he asks. “Can you please tell me what’s going on love?”
With tears still streaming down my cheeks, I swallow hard, and I finally start talking. “I.. Took a pregnancy test..” With trembling hands, I reach for the pregnancy test hidden behind me, my heart pounding in my chest as I hold it out for him to see.
Matt's eyes widen. Then, without a word, Matt gently takes the test from my trembling hands, his gaze fixed on the plastic stick.
I start feeling desperate, loosing my breath again. “I think I’m pregnant, I’m sorry..”
Matt's expression softens as he looks at me. "Don’t cry.. it’s okay.. It’s not a bad thing.." He murmurs, pulling me into his embrace once more.
"It is a bad thing, Matt" I finally manage to choke out. "I know you don't want this kid."
Matt's arms tighten around me, his embrace a comforting me. "Hey.. hey.." He murmurs softly, his fingers gently tracing circles on my back. "I never said that..” He pauses “I know.. Hmm.. I know It wasn’t the plan, but I do want this kid, okay?” He says looking into my eyes.
"It's not that simple, Matt.." I whisper, my voice barely audible above the pounding of my heart. "I can't just pretend that everything is okay when it's clearly not.” I sob, loudly.
He looks at me sadly, not knowing exactly what to answer. “Why don’t we go back to our room and talk better there? Huh?” He says in a comforting tone.
I nod, sniffing. He helps me getting back up and we make our way to the bed. We lay down, I cuddle with Matt, my head on his chest, like a pillow. I cry. He strokes my hair, trying to comfort me. “Are you mad at me?” I lift my head, facing him.
His hand strokes my hair softly as he looks into my eyes. "Hey, listen to me" he murmurs, his voice gentle. "I could never be mad at you, okay?” He pulls me closer. “I could never be mad at you for something like this, don’t overthink It..” He kisses my forehead.
I let out a shaky breath. "I’m scared.." I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "What about Evie, Matt?”
He spreads kisses on my face, and wipes my tears away with his thumb. “Evie will love to have a sister, I promise you.”
“I’m not ready Matt.. What if she feels left out, or if we can't give her enough attention with another baby?” I sniff, sadly. “I’m not even a good mom.." Words catching in my throat.
He pulls away slightly, his brows furrowing with a mix of confusion and frustration. "What do you mean you are not a good mom?" He asks, like I’m lying to his face. "Where is this coming from?"
I stay silent, feeling the weight of his words sinking in. Matt's tone is firm, his frustration evident as he waits for my response.
“Look at me. I don’t wanna hear those words coming out of your mouth ever again.”
"You're an amazing mom. Evie adores you, and so do I. You do the best you can, and that's all that matters. I don’t wanna hear that stupid shit again, do you understand that?”
I struggle to accept his words, the weight of my insecurities. "I'm sorry Matt.." I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks once again. "I'm trying, I really am, I swear... But sometimes, it just feels like I'm not enough.." I completely break down again, crying even more than before.
As I break down in tears once more, Matt pulls me even closer, his arms a comforting shield around me. “Shh..“
“I love you so much, I don’t want you to leave me..” I say sobbing, hugging him the tighter and tighter.
“I love you too.. I’m not leaving you, I’m not going anywhere.” I cling into his body, leaving stains of my tears on his shirt.
"I'm just so scared" I admit, my voice trembling with vulnerability.
“You are safe with me, I’m not leaving you ever.” He keeps looking into my eyes while I avoid eye contact.
I shake my head as a no, getting more overwhelmed about all of this. “I don’t know If I can do this.”
“Everything will be just fine, I promise you.”
After some good twenty minutes, still with his arms around me, I start relaxing again. Tears continue to fall, but they're softer now. He continues to shower me with affection, leaving my face with gentle kisses and soft caresses, his fingers on my hair, I feel the tension slowly melting away, until we both fall asleep.
୨୧
i was so confused about what to do at the end, i hate this sm but i don’t have anything to post 😭😭
216 notes · View notes
radiant-reid · 1 year
Note
Spencer and Reader not having very much alone time with each other, since they have a toddler, so they sneak a quickie in the laundry room.
this had to be written, hope that's okay
You've been not so patiently waiting for Spencer for fifteen minutes before he finally slides open the door and steps in. "Finally." You complain, locking the door behind him.
"It's not my fault she needs three stories before she'll nap." He tells you.
You scoff, rolling your eyes. "No, that's literally your fault." You remind him. "You always want to read her more stories."
Spencer grabs your chin, holding your face close to his. Your breath catches in your throat at the sudden movement and closeness. "Shut your pretty mouth, and take your pants off." He instructs.
It takes you a moment after he moves away to get your brain working to make a sarcastic comment. "Romantic."
He bites his bottom lip alluringly as he unbuttons and unzips his pants. "I don't need to romance you." He assures you.
"Are you calling me easy?" You question, raising your eyebrows and tempting him to continue.
"I know I've never had a problem getting into your pants." He recalls, devilishly handsome with his smirk.
You smack him on the shoulder before scolding him. "You're a dick."
"No." He shakes his head, grabbing your waist and pulling your jeans down your thighs. "I'm trying to get my dick in you."
"I am just blown away by your charm." You joke.
Spencer chuckles at you, baking you up until your back is against the machine.
You kick your jeans off, wrapping your legs around his waist. He pushes a strand of hair out of the way of your eye line. "Hey, gorgeous." He coos.
"Hi, pretty boy." You reply, nudging your nose against his. "Fuck me now? Please."
His lips meld to yours, kissing you firmly and passionately as his fingers slip under your panties, touching your clit. You moan against his lips, prompting him to push them aside and line himself up with your heat.
He slips inside you gently, thrusting deeply but slowly. It's as blissful as it always is. He doesn't waste any time you do have, pumping in and out of you roughly in a way that makes your breathing uneven.
"Fuck, Spencer, keep going." You cry, pulling him by the hair so you can kiss him.
"Mhm." He agrees, burying himself as deep inside you as he can get. "You feel so good."
Each time, you roll your hips against his until you can feel his cock against your cervix. Every one of your nerves is buzzing. His hands are all over you, trying to hold you as close to you as he can.
Your moans get louder with each thrust until Spencer has to clamp his hands over your mouth. "You're gonna have to be quiet if you don't want to get interrupted."
You really don't want him to stop so you pull him closer, burying your face in his neck to muffle your moans. You can hear Spencer panting against the shell of your ear, a trail of expletives and your name leaving his mouth.
"I'm so close." You moan to him.
"Let go for me, baby." He instructs you, weaving his hand between your bodies to massage your clit.
You cum around his cock at that, squeezing him tightly as pleasure boils through your veins. The pressure on his cock has him pumping his cum inside you and pausing his motion where he's deepest inside you.
"God, I love you." He says, pulling out and adjusting your panties so there's not a mess of his cum all over the laundry room.
"I love you too." You reply, getting onto the floor with shaky legs to redress. "And our laundry room quickies."
He chuckles. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't know this room exists." He jokes.
"Our secret hangout." You declare it.
"Fucking spot, more like." He reminds you.
"Rendezvous." You reason. "It's more romantic."
He pulls you into a quick hug, kissing your forehead lovingly. "Whatever you want to call it, I'm just lucky to have it with you."
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