#I'm not worth anything

[battling-my-demons]

I feel like I was set up from the moment I was born. I was made to fail. I have nothing. Nothing good about me. No brains and not good looking and incredibly bad luck. I hate myself. Everything about me is worthless. I am worthless.

#i hate everything #tired #emotional #dysfunctionality #tw selfhate #Selfhate #Self hate #worthless #stupid #i'm stupid #ugly #not worth it #useless #I'm so worthless #I'm not worth anything #i don't want to feel like this anymore #i don't want to be here #i want to go away #i wish i was joking #i wish i was pretty #i wish i was dead #i want to disappear #why was i born #why am i here #why am i like this #why am i alive #why am i the way that i am #i will survive #I'm barely here

[mentalmeles]

People say they care about me. They want me to be happy and safe. They don’t want me to die.

...I don’t understand them at all.

#i'm not worth their love or their faith #i'm not worth anything #i'm nothing but a failure #the star child speaks #negative #don't reblog this

[bizarrelittlemew]

calling it right now that season 3 starts like this

#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all #there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season #they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else #and makes it worth working on their problems together #the problems are still very much there #both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up #ed doesn't know about stede's trauma #they haven't talked through anything #and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well #and those are just some of the internal issues #then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet #because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one #the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately #again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire) #it's not a forever goodbye #ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️ #hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!! #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd #our flag means death

[kyouka-supremacy]

Alright what's up with the last two Hoshikawa arts and Akutagawa and Chuuya wearing hats that are suspiciously similar to the Hunting Dogs one

#It's probably nothing worth looking into. #I just found it currious that it was the same hat two illustrations consecutively. Hoshikawa must have been into that hat recently ahah #Besides I only notcied in the first place because my brain went “omg matching hat. Boyfriends 🥰🥰🥰” #ryūnosuke akutagawa #chūya nakahara #teruko ōkura #bsd #bungou stray dogs #shiwasu hoshikawa art #mine #In the end I suppose it's just a generic military style hat. #It's just odd to see Akutagawa and Chuuya being associated with the military when they have little to no connection to it #... #Btw I'm totally on board with hd Akutagawa becoming canon. #Not that I think it would make sense or anything I just think he looks good in the hd uniform

[chocmoon-latte]

The amount of posts/fanart/memes I've already seen surrounding Cooper and Hancock only proves to me that Hancock NEEDS to make a cameo in a later season. Somehow. I need them to get in a knife fight. I need them to get up in each other's faces and kiss intimidate each other.

Cooper's look was originally supposed to have black eyes and have scars identical to the Fallout 4 design, but the idea was ultimately scrapped. Boy oh boy, who else has black eyes and- HANCOCK. Hancock does. HE looks like that. This was clearly a sign from the universe.

#/hj but also /srs #could you imagine TWO hot iconic ghouls on-screen??? #I just think it would be funny #Especially considering a few years ago they used images of Hancock in the articles about Walton playing a ghoul #and even Danny jokingly commented on it saying “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!” #you could easily get away with a Hancock cameo as well because he has zero faction association. His appearance wouldn't contradict anything #also it would be interesting to see two characters with such similarities (who ultimately turned out differently) in the same room #I'm not just saying this because I wanna see live-action Hancock in action (I sort of am) #I would only accept a such a reality if Hancock was played by Danny though. Anyone else and it's not even worth it #Idk if it's just me who genuinely would want this to happen or if I'm living a pipe dream #fallout #fallout amazon #fallout prime #fallout 4 #the ghoul #cooper howard #hancock #john hancock

[rabbitindemun]

Bill wearing heels I'm begging you.

i'm just letting this over here there ya' got

WATCHOUT, he has heels on.. and guns, but details-

#bill cipher #gravity falls #bill cipher fanart #sketch #doodle #he is a queen #i didn't realize i haven't draw anything on like a week or something #who have 2 guns and look amazing on high heels? exactly.. yung v- #Bill cipher- i'm talking about Bill.. don't hurt me #oh boi #an au where he uses high heels for partying? #like in raromagedon an stuff #idk i'm 'eepy #i don't need to sleep i need to draw MORE #waa #He's worth it

[clownprince]

how sick and twisted would i have to be to miss that lunatic?

batman: arkham city – end game #1 // batman: arkham city – harley quinn's revenge // batman: arkham city – end game #2-6 // batman: arkham knight – the riddler's gambit // batman: arkham knight #0 // batman: arkham knight

#uhh this should be in rough chronological order #lmk if i missed anything #sorry the arkham knight 0 images are crunchy i couldn't find high quality panels anywhere </3 #also it may be worth noting some writers portrayed it as like. batman isn't affected by his death and is just glad he's gone #which in all honestly is a massive oversimplification. but that's just the nature of having multiple writers #anyway. hallucination/ghost!joker is such a neat idea and i will forever be pissed at how badly they fumbled that concept in ak #it's alright though i'm working on a fic to fix their fuckups 🫡 #batjokes #arkhamverse #batman arkham knight #compilation

[captainsweet]

I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM SO NORMAL I AM- ←(Person who just watched mutant mayhem)

#NO SPOILERS DW!!! #BUT AHHHHHHH #I AM ALMOST IN TEARS #MY EMOTIONS. MY EMOTIONS!!! #AHHH I WANT TO CRY I CANNOT DO THIS OMG THAT MOVIE IS MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY NOW IT'S MY HEART MY SOUL MY WILL TO LIVE #IT'S SO CUTE DFKKRNK #I'M NOT GOING TO SPOIL ANYTHING BUT THAT MOVIE WAS SO WORTH IT I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE SERIES EEEEE #I'M GOING TO DRAW SM MM ART SEE YOU NEVER #MY BOYS MY SONS MY KIDS MY HEART #I LOVE THEM SMM #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #mutant mayhem #tmnt mutant mayhem #WATCH IT NOWWW 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 /j #I AM FOREVER ON CLOUD NINE

[revvethasmythh]

ngl, "I'm the only one who understands [x] character" or "only ten people actually get [x] character" is like the #1 biggest red flag to me that a person probably will have an inaccurate interpretation of a character. because if you've decided that you understand that character in a uniquely objective way over others, you inherently wall yourself off from alternate opinions by deciding they're wrong on the basis of simply not being the exact same as yours. if you can't incorporate or even just ponder other people's perspectives, people who have lived different lives and are approaching the content through different but potentially very useful lenses, you might miss out on some extremely enlightening and fascinating interpretations. building yourself an insulated echo chamber is probably the worst thing you could do when assessing a character like that

#this is not about anything in specific it's just something i've been thinking about for a while #because I do see this kind of rhetoric come up more commonly than i'd like #like god even with veth i'd never say i understand her more than anyone else does. that's so stupid. and untrue #plenty of people probably understand her better than me even if just by a life experience that is more similar than anything i share w/her #when someone makes an inaccurate assessment of a character it is almost always because they've not actually taken the time to get it right #through interacting with and striving to understand what canon is saying #someone who actually puts in the energy and time to think and gather legit evidence for a thoughtful opinion? #that opinion is worth considering even if you won't always agree #but someone who's just like ''i'm the only one who understands them'? they will rarely show you the receipts for why that is #anyway #just thoughts

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[sasaranurude]

Okay. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker today, since the release happened to catch me on a day when all I'd planned to do was write fanfiction. I just finished reading the game story prologue (it was longer than expected!), so here's a review type post. If you're reading this post not having seen a single thing about this game: it's a story-based joseimuke gacha mobile game that just released globally today. It's about a girl who suddenly finds herself attending a magic school and mingling with elite, superhuman students known as ghouls. If you look in the tumblr tag for the game you'll see what appears to be a completely different game from 2019 or so: they retooled it completely midway through development, changing just about everything about it due to "escalating competition within the gaming industry."

I'll talk about how this looks like a blatant twst clone at the end.

Starting with the positive: The story is charming. I enjoyed it thoroughly the entire time and am excited to read more. The mix between visual novel segments and motion comics was really nice--it broke things up and added a lot of oomph to the action or atmospheric scenes that visual novels generally lack. I like the art in the comic parts a lot. the live2d in the visual novel parts is... passable. Tone-wise, I think the story was a little bit all over the place and would like to see more of the horror that it opened on, but I didn't mind the comedic direction it went in either. The translation is completely seamless. The characters so far all have unique voices and are just super fun and cute. Of the ones who've had larger roles in the story so far, there's not a single one I dislike. It's all fully voiced in Japanese and the acting is solid. (I don't recognize any voices, and can't seem to find any seiyuu credits, so it seems they're not big names, but they deliver nonetheless.) Kaito in particular I found I was laughing at his lines a ton, both the voicing and the writing.

He's looking for a girlfriend btw. Spreading the word.

The problem is like. The gameplay is the worst dark-pattern microtransaction-riddled bullshit I've ever seen. Hundred passive timers going at all times. Fifty different item-currencies. Trying to get you to spend absurd amounts of real world money at every turn. There's like five different indicators that take you to various real-money shop items that I don't know how to dismiss the indicator, I guess you just have to spend money, wtaf. Bajillion different interlocking systems mean you have zero sense of relative value of all the different item-currencies. I did over the course of the day get enough diamonds for one ten-pull, which I haven't used yet. Buying enough diamonds for a ten-pull costs a bit under $60 (presumably USD, but there's a chance the interface is automatically making that CAD for me--not gonna spend the money to check lmfao), with an SSR rate of 1%. BULLSHIIIIIT.

There's like a goddamn thousand-word essay explaining the dozen different types of character upgrades and equippables and equippables for the equippables!! Bad! Bad game design! That's just overcomplicating bullshit to trick people into thinking they're doing something other than clicking button to make number go up! That is not gameplay!

In terms of the actual gameplay, there is none. The battle system is full auto. There might be teambuilding, but from what I've seen so far, most of that consists of hoping you pull good cards from gacha and then clicking button to make number go up. There's occasional rhythm segments but there's no original music, it's just remixes of public domain classical music lmao. I'd describe the rhythm gameplay as "at least more engaging than twisted wonderland's," which is not a high bar

At least there's a cat in the rhythm bit.

And like, ok, I gotta remark on how derivative it is. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, this game is unabashedly aping twisted wonderland's setting and aesthetic. (That said, most of the stuff it steals from twst is magic school stuff that twst also basically stole from Harry Potter, so...?) However, it isn't exactly like twst: in this one, the characters say fuck a lot and bleed all over the place and do violence. Basically, the tone is a fair bit more adult than twst's kid-friendly vibe. (Not, like, adult adult, and I probably wouldn't even call it dark--it's still rated Teen lol. Just more adult than twst.)

Rather than just being students at magic school, the ghouls also go out into the mundane world to go on missions where they fight and investigate monsters and cryptids. Honestly, the magic school setting feels pretty tacked-on. The things that are enjoyable about this would've been just as enjoyable in about any other setting--you can tell this whole aspect was a late trend-chasing addition, lmao. So, yeah, it's blatantly copying twst to try to steal some players, but... Eh, I found myself not caring that much. Someone more (or less) into twst than me may find it grating.

Character-wise, eh, sure, yeah, they're a bit derivative in that aspect too, but it's a joseimuke game, the characters are always derivative. Thus far the writing & execution has been solid enough that I didn't care if they were tropey. If I were to compare it to something else, I'd say the relationship between the protagonist and the ghouls feels more like that of the sage and wizards in mahoyaku than anything from twst. There's some mystery in exactly what "ghouls" are and their place in this world that has me intrigued and wanting to know more about this setting and how each of the characters feels about it. I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up for stories that put big ideas on the table and then being disappointed when they don't follow through in a way that lives up to my expectations, though.

So, my final verdict: I kind of just hope someone uploads all the story segments right onto youtube so nobody has to deal with the dogshit predatory game to get the genuinely decent story lol. Give it a play just for the story if you have faith in your ability to resist dark patterns. Avoid at all costs if you know you're vulnerable to gacha, microtransactions, or timesinks.

#suchobabbles #Tokyo Debunker #it's a global simultaneous release so I'm curious to see how it ends up doing in Japan #it's gonna be competing directly with stellarium of the fragile star which releases in a few days lmao. and is about a magic alchemy school #looks like the two games twt accounts have a similar number of followers #and then theyre competing with bremai releasing in may... #also adding this at the very end since i cant confirm anything: #but i found out abt this game bc it was rt'd by the former localization director/translator of A3en #i dont know if she worked on it or maybe her friend or maybe shes just hype! who knows! but i think her word (or rt) is worth something

[lunarharp]

shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc

#witch hat tag #orufrey #the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do #someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world . #it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing #oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives #agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl #pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you.. #and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun. #i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least.. #the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!! #the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way.... #btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats #coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined #travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc. #i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol #but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv #and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me #well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed* #obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on

[reasonsforhope]

hey i get what youre trying to say with the taylor swift post but as of a few days ago shes trying to sue a college student who posts her (publicly available) flight logs. she very much does not give a shit about her carbon emissions and she shouldn’t be celebrated for her mediocre attempts to seem climate-conscious

I get what you're saying, definitely. I also did actually know about the thing with the college student when I posted that, so I wanted to give some context about why I made that post:

First, I personally didn't view it as celebrating her so much as celebrating progress. I think that if we never acknowledge wins, we'll end up dispirited very quickly

Second, recognizing when people decide to be less shitty is, at least I think, an important carrot in the carrot-and-stick dynamic of using public opinion to influence public figures

Lastly - and this may well be an unpopular opinion - but I don't actually hold her actions re: the college student against her

Why?

Well, for one, it was a cease and desist letter, not an attempted lawsuit. A cease and desist letter isn't legally binding, nor is it the start of a lawsuit - it's more like she's Putting Him On Notice. A cease and desist order can be followed by a lawsuit, if it's ignored, but it doesn't initiate one. Likely Taylor Swift will try several other steps of resolution before actually telling her lawyers to sue this guy, if only because the headlines would Not look good (x, x)

But more than that, I don't hold it against her because when Taylor Swift says that it's a matter of life and death for her, I believe that's very true.

Like, don't get me wrong, I'm not mad about her flight data being up either. And I'm not particularly a fan of Taylor Swift

But I also think that if I had to read through the rape and death threats she gets on an almost-certainly-daily basis, I'd want to vomit.

And I think that was true before Trump and his minions got obsessed with the idea that she's the keystone in the next Biden-election-stealing Pentagon psyops plot. Now - especially in the days right before the Superbowl, when this alleged conspiracy is supposed to happen - I don't even want to think about the brutality of the threats she's receiving

(For anyone going "Uh, wtf?" about the MAGA Superbowl Taylor Swift conspiracy thing, yes, I hate to inform you that it's A Whole Thing. More info here: x, x, x, x, x, x)

Taylor Swift does have stalkers, and now she has a bunch of MAGA paramilitary conspiracy theorists absolutely furious with her. If I were her, I'd want to do every single thing I could to keep information on my movements and in-the-moment location off the internet, too

tl;dr: I don't necessarily think she cares about the environment, but I'm not mad at her for sending a cease and desist letter because I think without her extensive security, she would be in real danger now, including possibly danger of being killed by armed MAGA conspiracy theorists

You're allowed to be mad at her and dislike her (obviously!), you're allowed to totally disagree with my attitude toward the cease and desist. I just wanted to share my rationale for including the post (and it is something I went back and forth on tbh)

#Anonymous #ask #me #taylor swift #celebrities #private jets #planes #cw rape mention #cw vomit mention #cw stalking #sidenote I'm really not sure why “she's going to endorse Joe Biden at the Superbowl” counts as a conspiracy theory #much less worth KILLING HER over #but they're straight up going on about her being an official asset for pentagon psyops #so #apparently it is #edited quickly to reflect the fact that she's accused of being a pentagon psyop asset #not a deep state member #literally only because she's not in any kind of official political anything I'm sure

[mattodore]

pay attention to theo’s beautiful face and not whatever matthias’s arm is doing... i liked the lighting more here than against the wall

#these are the last screenshots i wanted to edit from the ones i took on the 22nd and had been slowly editing throughout the week #will finally be putting mattodore in their thirties to rest 🙏⚰️ #river dipping #echthroi #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #a burning house to live in #ts4 #ts4 edit #simblr #ended up not doing much to these screenshots tbh… i was so into the audiobook i was listening to i kinda just. stared at the wall a lot... #my brain was telling me this wasn’t worth posting bc i’ve done so many mattodore edits recently and this isn’t anything different but. #like i did actually spend a few hours with these edits so. on one hand i’m like this isn’t really anything #but on the other hand i’m like. well they’re my ocs whom i love dearly and i’ll probably enjoy looking back at this #the same way i do all my other recent edits which i open my own blog up to stare at like. multiple times in a day #obsessed atm…….. #anyway. #god… matthias is so huge he always takes up so much space i’m constantly having to crop him out of edits 😭 #and these are poses that weren’t even made from me…. so he’s not even at his full 6’3’’ height and size like 😭😭😭 #he distracted me but that aside... i'm waiting for my game to open up atm so i can get back to tweaking alessandria's sim #her face is gonna take me forever................................. #ik i don't talk about my other ocs on here much anymore but alessandria is my third favorite oc (mattodore obviously being my top two) #so... i'm seriously gonna agonize over every update i make for them now kjdhknjf #ocs with tragic backstories save me................... #i’ll probably spend a few hours with alessandria in cas and then i’m going back to google docs to write more abt mattodore

[buglaur]

she's live

now you can see what everyones height is in my head because i refuse to download height sliders. look at ass <3

#also works on mobile btw ☝️ !! #me successfully making this is proof you can achieve anything with 500 google searches #you should see my search history #html how to put image. html how to change image size. html how to put images in a row. html how to center a row of images. html how to #their pinterest boards are disabled at the moment because i need to make them look good before i share them #and most tags don't work yet because i'm too lazy to go back through my whole blog and tag almost 2 years worth of posts 😭 #going to christen it by reblogging one of those dress up your sim prompt ask games #if i can find it #and then i'm going to get completely stuck into rufus and sawyers gameplay yessss i can't wait #leaving virgils gameplay forever i think because when rufus and sawyer have a kid i'm moving him in as the babysitter #would you believe me if i told you there is 0 cc clothes in this #i've fallen in love with maxis clothing recently idk what happened to me #besides roxys boots and virgils bag its a vanilla lookbook #thank you to everyone who voted on the poll yesterday btw #even though it was 50/50 the majority of the time it was up #it ended up 60/40 after an hour tho so i went with my fav macmahon lifestages instead of young adult stages! #goodnight <3

[selffagellation]

new gender, literally just a normal ass possum who lives in dracula's castle for some reason. is he a vampire. or is he just vibing. either way he just like me for REAL

#i'm telling yall right now this is a done fucking deal #5:47 seconds in and i know it's not worth saying 'hope this doesnt awaken anything in me' because it's awoke already #i am about to become sooooooooooo much worse #also 1920s makeup styles i am DROOLING #but yeah yall should have seen how i started WHEEZING when the camera cut to Him. #he's just a little guy oh my god