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princesssarisa · 2 years

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Fictional character ask Jane Bennet?

Favorite thing about them: I like her sweet, loving, compassionate personality, and the way she serves as a warm, safe confidante for Elizabeth in a way that none of her other family members do. I also like the fact that she's not just sweet and ladylike (even if she is mistaken for just that: see below). She has an underlying stubbornness too, as shown by how she clings to her idealism no matter how much Elizabeth tries to playfully skewer it, and contrary to popular belief, she's not perfect: she almost loses her man because she's too reserved about her feelings for him, and she can be naïve and over-idealistic to the point of comedy. But this doesn't make her stupid; sometimes her sympathy for others is very right while Elizabeth's witty skepticism is wrong. She's just an all-around likable character.

Least favorite thing about them: Nothing about her personally, but about some of the commentary she inspires. I don't know just how bad it is because I'm not deep in the Austen fandom, but I've already seen too many people write about how "boring" she is, how she's "too perfect to be real," how she's "weaker" and "less intelligent" than Elizabeth, and how Austen must have meant her as a "deconstruction" of traditional femininity.

Now, I'm not saying there isn't some truth in that last part. Jane does embody all the ideal traits of a 19th century lady and of the traditional romantic heroine: beautiful, kind, innocent, gentle, reserved, well-mannered, selfless, forgiving, falls in love easily and tenderly... even the four-day cold she catches can be viewed as a milder version of the deathly illnesses so common among delicate 19th century heroines. Maybe it is significant that Austen took this classic heroine-type figure and made her a supporting character, while the more complex, unconventional Elizabeth gets to be the heroine, and maybe it does matter that some of her classic "feminine virtues" (namely her naïve, trusting nature and her ladylike shyness) are also her flaws. But she's not weaker than Elizabeth, and just because she's less quick-witted doesn't mean she's less smart: an important part of Elizabeth's character arc is to realize that her cynicism hasn't been wiser than Jane's idealism! She's not "too perfect" either; I've already covered that. And as for "boring," "well... I won't pretend she's as three-dimensional as Elizabeth, but I do think she's a fully developed character with some depth. I'd like to see more people explore the pressure she must feel to present a perfect ladylike image, or the idea that her relentless idealism might be her way of coping with her dysfunctional family, just like Elizabeth and Mr. Bennet's cynical wit is their coping mechanism. More of that, and less writing her off as just a dull cardboard "nice girl."

Three things I have in common with them:

*I like to believe the best of other people, because it hurts to believe the worst.

*I try to be kind to everyone.

*I can be shy and quiet in public, but I'm more talkative with my loved ones.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I don't have any sisters.

*I'm not expected to save my family from financial ruin with a good marriage.

*I'm not good at hiding my emotions – even when I try to look indifferent, my face always betrays me.

Favorite line:

Her response to Bingley's leaving, which stands out not only for her bravery in the face of heartbreak, but for her heartwarming generosity and lack of any anger toward Bingley (Elizabeth, of course, feels differently):

He may live in my memory as the most amiable man of my acquaintance, but that is all. I have nothing either to hope or fear, and nothing to reproach him with.

In her letter from London revealing her belated understanding of Caroline Bingley's false friendship:

My dearest Lizzy will, I am sure, be incapable of triumphing in her better judgement, at my expense, when I confess myself to have been entirely deceived in Miss Bingley’s regard for me. But, my dear sister, though the event has proved you right, do not think me obstinate if I still assert that, considering what her behaviour was, my confidence was as natural as your suspicion.

When she's newly engaged and blissfully happy:

"I am certainly the most fortunate creature that ever existed! Oh! Lizzy, why am I thus singled from my family, and blessed above them all! If I could but see you as happy! If there were but such another man for you!"

When she's still doubting Elizabeth's love for Darcy:

"Do anything rather than marry without affection."

When she finally believes it:

"Now I am quite happy, for you will be as happy as myself. I always had a value for him. Were it for nothing but his love of you, I must always have esteemed him; but now, as Bingley's friend and your husband, there can be only Bingley and yourself more dear to me."

(I agree with @anghraine that this line says something about the dysfunction of the Bennet family, even if it is half-joking – Jane has three other sisters and both of her parents still alive, but she says she'll love her brother-in-law more than anyone except her favorite sister and her husband!)

brOTP: Elizabeth.

OTP: Bingley.

nOTP: Her father, Mr. Collins, or Wickham.

Random headcanon: I'll borrow one from @anghraine: She's going to be best friends with Darcy once they're in-laws, and adore his and Elizabeth's children too. Since she's naturally good with children (she's implied to be the favorite older cousin of the Gardiners' little ones), and since Elizabeth and Darcy can both be prickly, their children will often turn to "Aunt Bingley" for the nurturing that their parents, however loving and well-meaning, will sometimes lack.

Unpopular opinion: She's not inhumanly perfect, but neither is she an insipid fool, and she deserves to be seen as a character in her own right, not just as a symbol of "ideal" Regency womanhood who contrasts with Elizabeth.

Song I associate with them: None at the moment.

Favorite pictures of them:

Not really a picture of her, but this painting of Mrs. Harriet Quentin by Jean François-Marie Huet-Villiers is thought to be the portrait that Austen saw in 1813 and described as looking exactly like her mental image of Jane:

Moving onto real Jane pictures, this watercolor by C.E. Brock:

This line drawing of Bingley's proposal by the same artist:

This drawing by his brother, H.M. Brock, showing her romance with Bingley blossoming as she recovers from her cold:

Sabina Franklyn, 1980 BBC miniseries:

Susannah Harker, 1995 BBC miniseries:

Rosamund Pike, 2005 film:

#character ask #jane austen #pride and prejudice #jane bennet #fictional characters #ask game

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yulirene · 2 months

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I'm not particularly fond of posting or sharing my problems since I almost end up oversharing, and I'd find myself feeling both humiliated and embarrassed. I get emotional, something that I honestly hate to acknowledge.

I'm 18, graduating senior high in about 3 1/2 months. I came from a great school, to which people usually say. I, also, regard it as such; quality education, a somehow good environment, and being surrounded by great students and amazing teachers. Perhaps an environment that smart people, or rather, the above average people would love. It's not something to hate.

Although, I will have to admit that I indeed hated the idea of being there, but perhaps meeting my friends lessened that hatred. My main reason for hating is because I got in against my own will despite passing the exam in a fair square manner. Anyways, the teachers also somehow made my days worthwhile despite the constant failures I face there. Struggles, challenges, exhaustion, stress, low scores; Sometimes, I even feel like I'm just average, and perhaps that I'm the least smartest, so I lowered my expectations by a lot. To say that I started to lose my confidence and began de-appreciating myself, I came to a point where I would much rather just survive and not get kicked out of the school. Just make sure not to fail. Submit your requirements. And live. A constant cycle. But I had my friends. And I have a dream. Although I don't have a school in mind, I do have a plan on what I want to do.

I want to study chemistry, then study forensics and become a scientist who could assist in investigations. Childish? Yes, it seems like it. After all, as a child, I loved reading detective books, Sherlock Homes, Agatha Christie, and Hardy Boys, name a few more local books. I loved investigation despite how it may seem horrifying it is in real life. I may hate horror movies, but my heart always ached for finding out the truth in things. Perhaps, if somebody died right now, I would wonder "why?", "how?", and "what happened?" Connecting the threads of it seemed to be something that always caught my attention.

Unfortunately, that dream can't be achieved. Being a forensic scientist is almost unachievable. Perhaps I'm not the best in studying, I procrastinate a lot, but when it comes to my interest in forensics and crimes, I always make sure to put my whole attention to every detail. Much more attention than the one I give in studying.

My parents always remind me to maintain my grades, and of course, I always do my best to do so. Because I have dreams I want to achieve. But, whenever discussions about colleges or universities pop up, I would much rather not attend such a topic. I hate how my mom would always mention the costs it would take to put in the school that I'm aiming for. I'm grateful that she wants to support me, but sometimes, I get the impression that she thinks I want her to support me, as in the type where I wouldn't help her. As if she was expecting that she pays for everything. "I can always get a part-time job." I wanted to say that, but I know she wouldn't want that. Perhaps it was because of pride that she could try to support me financially or that she just wants me to focus solely on my studies. I love her. I love her, really, but I hate how she always talks about financial things regarding college. She ones told me to just study nearby. The farthest I could possibly go is in Cebu so that it'd be cheaper. I get it, but what is the point of putting in such an outstanding school, with scholarship, and just put me in some state college?? The closer I am to home, the better. I understand that, and truly, I would love the idea. But I hate it. I hate it. There's not many opportunities here. One line I will always say to end these college or university topics is that,

"You put me in a prestigious high school, one that I didn't even want to go to. And now that I actually ended up liking it and want to plan my life out, you'd put me in a state college? Here? Just nearby? Where there's less to little to no opportunities?" And that would somehow end it.

I want to get a part-time job as early as now. But living in the Philippines isn't making it easy when there's limited job offers or side hustles available for people around 16 or 17. I'm 18, but it's still a challenge to find a job where you'd earn a lot.

I want to choose my own college and enjoy my life the way I'd want it. Being in this high school, where I am now, gave me the idea that I should always search for bigger opportunities and not be limited to what is only around you. And I will do that.

#senior high school #college #univesity #online jobs #stress #philippines #life #future #vent post

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ysabroadsk · 7 months

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I'm currently studying at my local university, and I find myself have this childish desire to explore more, and I have decided I would like to pursue my college at Korea, specifically at the Yonsei University, but I have a lot of questions spiraling in my mind. First, how on earth a person like me even afford studying internationally? Second, how, a person like me, who have zero knowledge with Korean language and not even fluent in English supposed to survive there? Thirdly, I'm not from an affluent family, my family's income is sometimes even short for our basic necessities, and this I don't really feel confident with my background, how can I do it there? Lastly, do I have to feel ashamed of all these challenges I am facing? With the desire to understand things, am I doing the wrong thing? Idk what is happening with my questions seriously

I'm so sorry for the late reply! I didn't think people would actually see this blog haha

I think the first thing to look into would be any scholarships or potential financial aid you could get, either from your country or Yonsei. I'm not super familiar with Yonsei financial things, since I currently pay (reduced) tuition to my home university for my year abroad here, but it's worth checking out their website. I know some people got support from the government/our home university to pay for some things like the flight over and tuition. I also know of some classmates who went to different universities in Korea on exchange that gave them free accommodation so that's definitely worth looking into!

As for not knowing Korea, I wouldn't worry too much about it! There's lots of places with English-speaking workers (or bare minimum enough English to make it through interactions) and I have lots of friends here who don't know any Korean who have been having a pretty fun time still. In fact, most of the time they'll default to speaking English if they can tell you're a foreigner. Most people also take language classes with the university and you would be surprised how much you can learn, even in a single semester! So I don't think there would be too many problems regarding that.

No one will judge you here for your financial background, I think. Everyone comes from so many different places with so many different backgrounds and are just excited to experience life. Honestly, I've found convenience store food a lot cheaper than I expected (but maybe that's just because food prices are kind of insane in the UK these days). I'm not entirely sure what your question is asking but I hope this helps, even a little.

You shouldn't feel ashamed at all! None of this is your fault and doesn't affect how incredible you are as a person and how smart you are/how hard you work. You deserve to experience good things and enjoy your university experience regardless of your background. It's natural to want to explore and chase after the things you enjoy! Don't feel bad for it at all.

I hope this helped! Please feel free to send as many other questions as you want if I completely skipped over things or didn't make sense. I'll try my best to answer everything as best I can :))

#south korea #year abroad #korea year abroad #yonsei #yonsei university #language exchange #exchange student

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joyliiejolly · 2 years

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Future Spouse Reading - ENHYPEN's Jay

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purpose only, so please take it as a grain of salt and live laugh love all the way besties!! It's also been a long long time since i last did my tarot reading so there might be some misinterpretations or a lack of information. Let me know if you have anything to add more or to discuss with me and I'll always welcome and willing to share my thoughts with you, too. Thank you for reading!

The cards: The Fool, The Tower, King of Pentacles, Ace of Swords (complement by Four of Wands), Five of Wands, King of Cups, Seven of Cups (clarification for two King cards). At the bottom: Seven of Pentacles.

If there's something I noticed right away, it would be their youthful energy and healthy mindset. I would say that their soul is a new one, full of curiosity.

They have a lot of things that they want to do, places that they want to go, goals that they want to achieve. They might even have a check-list or a to-do list for all of those things. They're not afraid to lose, but it doesn't mean that they don't want to win. They're open to new experiences and always ready for challenges. They don't stray away from conflicts. In fact, they may get excited from being challenged, and like I said, they LOVE the taste of sweet victories so much. They are gonna stand up for themselves and they ain't backing down if they know that they're right.

This attitude of them can get them far in life. Further in the future, they can be in an authoritative position, a well-known and well-respected figure (they might be working in in the field of law). They're so abundant, materially and emotionally. They get their things done. They're responsible, taking a good care of themselves and those around them, too. They will always ready to support their love ones, whether it be financial matters or someone is having a meltdown, they will not hesitate to offer their money or lending an ear, lending a shoulder.

They're really clever. I think that they could be the street-smart kind of a person. Their knowledge comes from all those years of being out there, trying new stuffs, meeting new peoples, exposed to new environment. That's not something that can be learnt from school. Before they meet Jay, they might have gone through some tough times (it's The Tower, it was TOUGH tough, and inevitable too) but it was definitely worth it. I think that the Universe was teaching them how to be patience with themselves at the time. They were always on the go and had the tendency to jump into things without preparation. But they have to realize, "new" doesn't always equal "good", and they can't just jump into the sea without knowing its depth. In order to have the best experiences, one must be prepared. And with the two King cards, I'm sure that they will learn their lesson well.

A thing that I pick up on them, I would say that this is their current thoughts, is their standard in a lover. They want someone who will spoil them in every way possible (They love receiving heartfelt gifts from their person). They might find their expectations unrealistic as they believe that there is no one that can fulfill them materially and emotionally at the same time, they can only choose one. But then, taadaa, a wild Jay Park is going to appear and they will be so surprise that someone like him really exists and can offer them the love that they once thought was impossible (this is just too cute and again, when will it be my turn to be happy? :D)

#enhypen tarot #enhypen imagines #enhypen jay #enhypen scenarios #enhypen

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spirit-of-vengeance · 3 years

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@spxcemuses @mr-mansnoozie @xxstar-bluesxx

Guess who gathered enough mind to finally write her full backstory of Western Verse. Her being a bounty hunter is set in the Wild West time period (1865-1895), there is no current year(s) to set her story in mainly because I don't want to make a mistake messing up the timeline.

Calm before the storm

Her father, Attila a lesser Hungarian noble whom supported the 1848-1849 revolutionary war but after the failure of it he escaped emigrated to America to avoid the Habsburg revenge, soon followed by his brother Gábor. He could save a small amount of his fortune along with his two most important horses: a purebred Lipizzan stallion and an extremely rare Akhal Teke mare. He had settled near a small town, due to his financial situation and education as a noble he established a school with the support and approval of the local church. To quieten his guilt for abandoning his country in its peril, he poured all of his heart into educating children; at least he is still useful in some way.

One day, a group of artists traveling artists, acrobats traveled through the town and the aristocrat fell in love at first sight. She was like the queen of fairy from the folk tales he'd heard in his childhood, she was tall, blue eyes sparkled like light sapphire, long golden brown hair floated ethereally with every twirl. The smitten lord shamelessly courted the the graceful acrobat, determined to know at least the name.

The group had stayed in the town for a few weeks, allowing Attila's and Myra's romance to blossom; after a month she ended up staying with him, just like in true fairytales.

My obsession with angst backstory strikes again

The lord was in love, deeper than poets could express it. Since the loss of his home and country he had found his place in the universe along with the perfect companion by his side. He paid less attention to the school, the church and other public affairs; it wasn't like he abandoned them but became more withdrawn to spend time with the love of his life, especially after the birth of their daughter. She was almost the perfect miniature of her mother, same beautiful hair glinting gold in the sunlight, only her eyes were the brightest emerald green he'd ever seen.

While Myra's heart and aura was as pure as a fairy's; the local church was beyond distressed. They claimed that Attila had completely abandoned helping those in need because of her wicked seduction. When they witnessed her performing for the amusement of the crowd, the 'temptress witch' brand couldn't be lifted. They gathered a few enthusiastic townsfolk whom shared their views and a few morally questionable men whom only wanted a piece of the lord's fortune.

10 year old Karma was awakened from her deep slumber by her frantic father; smoke and yelling blinding her senses as he carried her out of the burning house into the nearby forest so the mob won't find her. He promised her he will be back but he had to return into their home for Myra; he couldn't leave her inside. Karma watched her dad disappear into the flames, the air filled with suffocating smoke and religious shouts for god to smite the sinners. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the spot where her father was gone, waiting for her parents to stumble out of the half collapsed building; but that never had happened. She sat unmoving from her spot, struck staring into the flames then into the ashes as the sun has risen.

Birth of the marksman

Attila's brother, Gábor arrived the next day after hearing the news, he was the one whom found Karma still staring at the ruins in a catatonic state. He couldn't avenge his sibling as it meant endangering his niece and she has lost more than enough.

Gábor expected her to become a soft spoken, reserved lady once she overcame her trauma; that theory was soon abandoned when once he had awoken to his niece practicing with his rifle outside with frighteningly great accuracy. The young girl naturally had an extraordinary aim and after a few long talks, he'd seen the determination burning in her to avenge the murder of her parents. Given by her mother's dance lessons, she was also flexible and capable of many different acrobatic moves; this combined with her aim proven to be a very dangerous combination.

To not awaken suspicion he told his friends Karma was an orphan whose parents were killed by bandits and he had adopted her to give her a family and education. Karma was fascinated chasing greater heights of her skills, this involved reading every possible book about anatomy, marking, engraving the useful spots of the body. Karma knows where to shoot to disarm, to cause a slow death, to paralyze, to disable for life and when it is only a warning: an injury which will heal with time. Along with her accuracy, her drawing speed only can be compared to lightning. Although she prefers/most comfortable with her dual revolvers (model undecided yet), she is still a menace with shotguns, rifles, flintlocks and even bows due to Gàbor's 'A Hungarian is not a Hungarian if they can't use a bow' mindset.

The bounty hunter quicker than death

Karma had her first official gunfight at the age of 18 on the auction. for Vihar (Storm), the filly of her father's horses.

Detailed post about Vihar

She officially entered the bounty hunter business when she was 20 and Vihar was 2, aiming for the most dangerous criminals whom committed the worst acts possible. In her early years after the kill she slit open corpses she trying to find the bullet, surverying the damage it caused and adding filler information to her anatomy knowledge. Of course she didn’t bother burying the bodies, she knew as a woman she has to be extremely vicious above talented to be hired and mutilated dead bodies did send a great message & served as cement for building her reputation. The name Karma wasn't entirely her idea, many thankful family members claimed that karma has came for their loved ones' murderers. Her talent spread like wildfire among the men of law, glad to be rid of the dangerous scum; with careful planning, use of environment and Vihar as backup she had wiped out gangs, not solely focused on individuals.

Unfortunately her reputation summoned an unofficial grand price on her head as well in certain circles; they had tracked her back to her uncle's house. The battle claimed Gábor's life and nearly her sight as her right eye was almost slashed out. The new loss opened old wounds: her not being able to protect her loved ones. She couldn't look into a mirror, the scar a reminder how despite all years of training she wasn't untouchable; after burying her uncle plan to gain control over her psyche already formed.

She took a knife and carefully carved four half circles around her eye to form a crosshair with her pupil being the middle of it. She made sure she kept the wounds open for enough time to scar as visibly as the vertical cut; she wanted a symbol to add to her legend. Excuse my pathetic excuse of an edit, I'm not good in this, nor I can draw.

Now Karma is 25, Vihar is 6, both of them in their peak physical prime; the name Vihar is also symbolic a little, Karma is the lightning to her horse. She is dancing on the thin edge of bounty hunting and being an outlaw as she often takes...side jobs to help people who deserve it and usually that person doesn't have a bounty on their head, therefore it is technically murder.

Local antisocial feral monk & cocky gunslinger feral lady / addition of the AU with the amazing @mr-mansnoozie

Near her uncle's house, Karma had discovered a cave and a grumpy mute monk living in it along with his pet bear. The monk, Sandy eventually became a second uncle to the traumatized angry orphan, he taught her how to move & creep upon someone soundlessly, disappear without a trace, cover her stances and behavior patterns of various animals. Before and after returning from a job she always visits her uncle of choice for a chat; a silent way to prepare him to the possibility of her not coming back. But she always do. She considers Sandy as part of her tiny family, although his...copying mechanisms with his own traumas were a bit strange to get used to; she adapted quite fast, after all who is she to judge with a past like that?

I'm a dead man walking, Hell's at my door.

aka collection of small headcanons

🎯 Her dual revolvers are called Salvation and Damnation because she's dramatic

🎯 Karma has a small sketchbook filled with anatomy drawings for further practice.

🎯 She actually can sing, but rarely does, only to Vihar since she never received positive feedback on it. Her voice is gritty, rugged and deep; definitely not the usual and desired sounding from a woman.

🎯 If her target was an outstandingly cruel bastard and/or one of those whom killed her parents she uses a little psychological torture. After fatally wounding them she starts whistling (for the most terrifying experience wear headphones & close your eyes while listening) as they try to crawl away or beg for mercy. The first time the whistle gets shrill & more intense is when she lazily reloads, knowing she has both the time and the upper hand. The second pace shift is when she aims; she shoots during the last, long drawn out high note.

🎯 This is her only verse where Cindy is afraid, no terrified of fire; during her....26 AU's she's always been associated with fire despite dying in or being wounded by it. In this verse she is more tied to lightning, the scent of smoke is enough to send her into a silent panic attack and despite loathing the cold she will never sit close to the fireplace. Her other deep fears include injuring her hands & sight and losing Vihar. Her horse is the only remaining family member of hers, she can't fail her too.

🎯 Most of Karma's scars, injuries are a result of her standing between Vihar and a knife/bullet/ even a bullwhip when a criminal was smart enough to catch on their deep emotional bond.

🎯 She has recurring night terrors about the night her parents died, she always wakes up in cold sweat; she's sort of used to them. Though, sometimes she still cries but thankfully Vihar is there to comfort her.

🎯 Karma has a special morning stretch routine to keep her flexibility and warm up her hands & keep them steady and fast.

🎯 Due to her dad and uncle she received high quality education

🎯 For the untrained eye, the belt of her hat are simple crosses while in reality, they are inverted crosses to symbolize her stance with Christianity

🎯 Karma's middle name is Emerald, given by her father due to her eye color.

🎯 Karma was first inspired by League of Legends Miss Fortune because that name alone is great but unfortunately she is too pirate coded for a western so I abandoned the relation. Though when Karma is not being the 'Call me a slow reader but I only made it to the Dead part, the or Alive didn't register.' ; her personality is similar to hers.

🎯 Due to her dad, Karma is actually half aristocrat. Not like she cares about it the slightest; the only indication of noble blood is her idle stance. It is an unconscious mirror of how her father used to hold himself: back straightened to almost impossible point, left arm behind it, right hand resting on the grip of in her case, revolver instead of hilt of a sword.

🎯 If given the chance to live a normal life, she would've grown into a captivating, lively young woman, much like her mother but with the aristocrat elegance of her father; finding a suitor who lives up to her parents' and her standards would've been the challenge of the century.

🎯 Her special move is called Dance of Death. This is used as last resort when she's facing more opponents up to 12, as with her dual revolvers she has 12 bullets without reloading. She mentally marks the stances of all opponents, predicts their movement, firing order and possible way of their bullets before whirling out of her hiding place. Each pose minimizes the chance of getting shot, and with each change of movement two bullets are fired, two men drop dead.

🎯 Her accuracy isn't just 'gun goes boom >:D' but a combination of natural talent, endless practice, movement prediction, sharp, quick thinking & analytical skills and different techniques molten together to utilize them all at once

🎯 Her hair is now as long as her mother's, she always keeps it in a single tight braid to keep it out of the way; without her hat and hair down she actually loses some of her dangerous edge.

🎯 The only physical memory Karma has of her parents is her dad's hussar sword she found underneath the ruins of the house, it was protected by a very thick wooden box & a lock of her mother's hair is tied to the grip. She has hidden it in the nearby forest, her thoughts often wander to it along with the wish to wield it.

#🦂 western au🔥| one shot; one kill #🔥headcanons🔥 | secrets of the fire #I can't help myself with the little hungarian details can I?#it just makes me so happy because my country doesn't really get any recognition in media & it feels good to weave the history of my country #into a badass character #I also spent 2.5 hours typing this. my fingers ;-; though totally worth it 😄#🔥alright to reblog🔥| let the wind carry the cinders

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the-lonelybarricade · 3 years

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darling dearest, i am in need of some advice and you were the first person i thought to ask (your fanfics are so deep, you have unrivaled wisdom. also you are an adult, which is very useful right now)

so, acting means a lot to me. in fact, it means the world. one of my first coherent sentences as a baby was, "mommy, i want to be on tv," so of course i developed an interest in theater.

it's my first year of high school, and my first thespian convention, and it's 500 dollars. for some context here, my parents had their first kid in high school. my mom never graduated, my dad joined the army instead of going to college. and then they had four more. on top of that, my dad's retired so we're all around dirt fuckin poor hahah. in other words, no one in this family has 500 dollars to send me (except for my middle sister, but that really is too much to ask for).

except for me! i had the money! only, it's in my college fund (which is 660 right now, no one set up a college fund for me as a baby--i only started saving two years ago). like i said, we're dirt poor and no one has the money to put me through college. my sister is a lawyer and has been practicing for years, and is still 200,000 dollars in debt from student loans. i'm having to rely on being smart to apply for scholarships and grants, and if i'm really special, i can get into harvard for free. which is such a huge deal, and one i'm kind of counting on.

even if i don't go to college, i need the money for when i ditch my home state and live in the big city for my big shot at being a successful actress. i can't do this every year. i've already decided to drop cheerleading and adv math next year so i can get a job (i'm not allowed to get one until i can drive). but i don't know if 3yrs of work will even be enough if i want to do normal teenager things and still go to college. chances are, i'm not getting into harvard, much less for free. i'm not gifted like i was as a little girl, and i think the stress would be too much. my mom says she'd help but she's saving for her own house and already getting me my own car, and she doesn't have money either. i don't think i can ask her for that.

thank you for even bothering to read this, thank you times one thousand if you respond.

Goodness lovely, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. This is such a big burden to carry and I know it must be really intimidating to think your future is restricted because of money. But take a deep breath, we're going to talk about some things, okay? I'm still new to being an adult myself, I'm in my final year of uni and money is hard.

So first let's talk about this $500 for your Thespian Convention. First, if this is a school event, a lot of schools do wave or reduce fees like this for families that can't afford it. They also may offer scholarships. I would look into seeing if that's possible, but otherwise let's talk about covering that cost from your college fund. I'm assuming from your language that you're American, which means that if you're earning the federal minimum wage (7.25/hr) it will take 60 hours of working to pay that off. That could take anywhere from 2 weeks to a month to work off if you're working part time, so you need to ask yourself if you feel like the thespian convention is worth a month of work that you could be putting towards your college fund. (Also, I know you said you can't get a job until you can drive, but maybe see if there's anything local you can do for extra money, like maybe tutoring or babysitting?). And if you can't go to this Thespian Convention, see if theres a less expensive alternative you can pursue.

Another important thing to consider is that, if acting is definitely what you want to do, you don't need to go to college to be a successful actor. Leonardo Dicaprio, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling, there's plenty of major A-list actors that skipped college alltogether to pursue their careers. Here's a list. And if going to college is something you really, really want to do, you also don't have to go to college immediately after graduating high school.

This is something they didn't push a lot when I was in high school, and this would have been mind blowing for me when I was a freshman. In my high school going to college was like the expectation for families that could afford it. And they also offered great support for struggling families and first generation students. But I did something super unconventional for my town and I took a gap year. And that gap year changed my life. So my love, you don't need to worry about 3 years being enough time to do normal teenager things while working your butt off to pay for school. You can give yourself as many years as you need to get that money together, or to pursue your acting career or both. College is ready for you when you're ready for it. There's no set timeline. And I wish they told high schoolers that more often. I wish I was told that sooner.

But let's say that you really want to go to college and you really want to go as soon as you graduate high school. That's totally fine too! Let's talk about your options. Getting a full-ride scholarship is competitive and a lot of pressure to put on yourself. I say go for it! Go for as many as you can and apply for every scholarship available! But also give yourself the breathing space to think about other options. This is a list of no-loan colleges in the US. These are schools that will meet 100% of your financial need if you get accepted. Now the tricky thing is you still have to pay for your EFC (estimated family contribution) and sometimes your FAFSA (federal application for student aid) grossly overestimates how much your family can actually contribute. But it will definitlely eat a big chunk of that money away and there are still loan and scolarship options for that remaining sum. Also when applying for these schools a lot of them do offer an application fee waiver for families that can't afford it.

There are also loads of private scholarship available options from various companies. Talk to your high school counsellors, they *should* have great resources for finding this kind of stuff. I wish I could remember where I found all of my scholarship info, but it's been almost 5 years since I've done that research. I think maybe fastweb was something I found useful? And I also found this website and this website after a cursory google search just now. I'm sure you'll find good sources too! Freshman year is not too early to start applying to private scholarships. A lot of them are directed at seniors, but there are all kinds and sometimes they're just fun contests with small rewards, but it all adds up!f

You can also try killing two birds with one stone! See if there are any acting jobs available either in your local area or even just online! Maybe set up a fiverr and read scripts for people, or see if you can work as a counselor for a theater camp in the summer. My first job was as an acting job as a dancing penguin at a local summer festival when I was 14.

Okay and now I feel obligated to tell you something. You don't need to go to college in the US. This probably sounds outrageous as a freshman, it definitely would have to me. But I'm literally typing this from where I now live in the UK, after taking that gap year and realizing that american school is ridiculously expensive and way less cool than european schools? Do your research, there's lots of options available to you and the US is not your only one. I've saved loads of money going to school here and I'm happy as a clam. Here are some fun links.

Anyway my love, I know that was a lot of information and I'm sure none of it magically solved your problems or took that burden of your shoulders. But take a deep breath. Everything will happen in its own time and there will always be opportunities for you to pursue being an actor. There will also always be the option to decide to go to college at any point in your life. The biggest and most important thing is to just not give up. Focus on the here and now, focus on your grades, and the rest will follow. You got this, I know you do. And please, always feel free to come to me with any questions or even if you just need to rant in my inbox, I'm here <3

#Big love to you #I know it will all work out in the end

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ianfrancis-blog · 3 years

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Hi! This is my first blog and I would like to share my adventurous journey about my life. Let’s start. My name is Ian Francis Maranan. I’ve been living for 20 years since the day I was born on the 25th of October, year 2000. I’m currently living in the city of Calamba, province of Laguna. When I was younger, I was an introvert. I don’t like interacting with anybody other than my family. Many people don’t know the truth about me, not even some of my friends.

I am the fifth and last son of my biological parents. Yes, I am an adopted child. It is because of an emotional turmoil that my family was going through that time. Truth is during the whole duration of me being inside my mother’s womb, every single family member didn’t know that she was conceiving me. They only discovered it when my godfather heard my cry as a baby. The pregnancy was not expected nor my birth because it was just recent when my brother was born. During that time, my biological mom is experiencing a psychological problem so she’s been emotionally unstable resulting to our family facing financially insecurity. For everybody, I am the miracle baby. Despite the challenge that my biological family, there is still hope.

I was adopted by the eldest sister of my biological mom who is my Mama Dorie. She is one of the many Overseas Filipino Workers in Macau. She is still single until now so I’m very sure that I am the only boy in her life. Though I was left here by Mama Dorie with my Lola, Mama Dorie and Mama Gloria’s mom, we never failed to communicate with each other. I am really blessed, right? I have three mothers, a father and four brothers.

For 11 years, my Lola took care of me and loved me. I was in grade 5 then, but I can still remember how dark my days when she died. I really miss her. I miss when she brings me to school and takes me home every single day. I miss her ways of disciplining me. I miss her every Sundays I go to mass because it reminds me of her wanting me to grow up as a child who is God fearing. But I’m still thankful I had her for 11 years of my life and I would treasure those times and memories with her.

After the death of my grandma, I was left in the custody of my Tita Delia until I graduated grade school. Tita Delia is a day care teacher and the mother of my best friend and cousin, Benok. I had been a consistent honor student then. With the help of my biological brother, who is a licensed teacher now, I excelled in my studies. He’d been very patient with me every day so I guess I had to give back through a bit of recognition in school.

I graduated in grade six as the second honorable mention or top four of our class. That time, my Tita Delia was supposed to be with me on graduation but I was surprised when Mama Dorie showed up on the day of my graduation ceremonies. I was still in shock Mama Dorie and I claimed my diploma and academic awards at the stage provided. But that doesn’t end there; Mama Dorie brought me to Macau and Hongkong as a graduation gift.

After that, I continued my journey at the city of Makati. Mama Dorie decided to send me to my godmother’s house to live and continue my studies because things were a bit complicated when Lola passed away and no one will take care of me. Not even my brother because he needed to focus in his work to support the needs and finances of my biological family. So, I started studying in Gen Pio Del Pilar National High school in Makati as a grade 7 junior high school student. At first, I was really nervous. Imagine; you have been some kind of an introvert for years than suddenly you are in a new place with no acquaintance. Scary, isn’t it?

In spite of my shyness, I tried my best to have some friends in school and luckily, I gained a lot of them and found that extrovert part of me. Every holiday, I visit Laguna to have some vacation. I finished junior high school in Makati city. I experienced facing challenges and sharing memories as a student and as a friend. Although junior high school wasn’t a paradise, I still had great memories. I’ve gained a group of true friends which was formed during grade nine and grown at grade ten. We named ourselves “team hoCage”. We thought it was funny when one of my friends pronounced hokage as hocage and so we laughed and decided to use the word as the name of the group. I will never forget those treasured bonding memories that I had with my friends. At the day of our moving up ceremony, I thought it will be the last day I’ll see them; we hugged and promised that we will bond again. Now, even from afar, we still talk together through online communication.

Moving on, I decided to continue my studies in Laguna at an IT school named AMA Computer College-Calamba campus. Taking science, technology, engineering, and mathematics strand. For the last 2 academic years, senior high school has been very challenging yet fun for me. I’ve made new friends. I had come to learn to be more independent. It has been a year of learning as well. And though it was tough, I am grateful, especially to God, my friends, and family who have always been there to help and support me. I am hoping there will be more wonderful, exciting and blessed experiences to come in my journey through life.

For now, I am currently a student in second year at City College of Calamba, taking an IT course. I am grateful for experiencing college life, still in progress until I graduated. This period of time is not that easy as an adult. I'm always thinking about my future and whether I will be successful. Many responsibilities will come, so I should be ready to face them. Today, this pandemic has had a major effect on our lives. Many of us are facing challenges that can be stressful and that can cause strong emotions in adults and children. One of the major effects is education. Many students are struggling with their modules and online classes, and some of them are worsening their mental health conditions. I hope this pandemic ends soon.

Now, I’m focusing on the things I like. First on the list is my love for arts. I draw a lot. I love creating portrait and anime drawings. I wish to be recognized someday as one of the popular artists in the world. I also like taking pictures with my smart phone usually through selfies or groufies with my friends and taking pictures of sunset and post it on my Instagram or Facebook accounts. A lot of people say that I have skills in photography. Someday, I also wish to have a dslr camera. Definitely, my life will not be complete without sports. Badminton is first on my sports list which I started playing since childhood. Second is playing volleyball. I also love playing strategic games like chess and dama. I also dance and I consider it as my passion. I like watching hip-hop and urban dance videos because it really makes me happy. As a result, I’m become a fan of Matt Steffanina and Sean Lew for the reason that they are the great dancers and choreographers and that they keep inspiring the people in the field of dance. I’m also a certified music lover and I can’t live without it. I play music that fits me when travelling, feeling alone, feeling sad and feeling bored. Music is my source of happiness. Just by plugging the earphones, you can easily forget the world.

After all, I feel blessed and I’m thankful for the good things that had come into my life and for all my friends and my family who never fails to put a smile on my face. In life, we commit mistakes but always put in mind the things we learned from it. There will always be a bad days and problems will come into your life but never give up and always stick of the positive side of life! There will be a way to solve it and let our God guide you always.

I want to thank you for reading and I hope I made you smile :) Have a nice day! :D

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copperbadge · 5 years

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So if this too close to Sam advises, feel free to ignore, you just strike me as competent. I've been living in poverty my whole life. I just finished graduate school in a pretty lucrative health field, and once I'm licensed, I'm going to be making more in a month than I have in a year. Like a lot of poor people, I don't have a lot of experience saving or managing money at all. Where can I start to learn this stuff so I don't accidentally, like, buy a yacht or something? Do you have any tips?

Okay we’ll get into this but before we do, if you ever do accidentally buy a yacht, please document that story for tumblr, accidentally buying a yacht sounds amazing. :D

So here’s the thing: I am not intimately acquainted with wealth management because I am also quite poor, but I do study the wealthy, and I manage my own money, so I have a few pro tips.

The first is: there are people whose job it is to help you with this. Financial advisors will often even meet with you for free to give preliminary advice. Your bank probably offers financial advisors, your retirement administrator definitely does, or you can find an independent one (here’s a good guide to how to do that, including what kinds you can speak to). Tell them you’re about to have a significant wealth increase and you want to make sure that you’re planning for your future, but you’d also like to be able to spend some disposable income now. Because if you are going to be significantly wealthy soon, Anon, you should enjoy that shit while you’re young.

The most common advice around sudden wealth is twofold:

One, pay down/pay off any debt you have. Why let that loom over you? Get your credit balances to zero, pay off your student loans. I’m sure you know as someone coming from poverty that debt is often unavoidable, but if it can be avoided, it should. You want a credit history, so if you don’t have a credit card AT ALL now is the time to get one, put a small charge on it monthly, and pay it off monthly, but if you have debt of any kind, pay that shit off.

Two, throw a ton of money into your retirement savings. Especially if your company matches it, pay heavily into retirement. It’s tax-free for you now, and if you have a financial emergency later, you can lean on your retirement account to get you through it. Give yourself a healthy income to live on, but be sure you’re putting plenty into retirement, and know where that money is going. Get your financial advisor to explain your retirement investment options, or learn them yourself (as I did) and diversify your retirement portfolio so that the money is in lots of different kinds of investments.

Once you’ve done these things, you can start getting more complicated with your money; looking into investing, various forms of saving, philanthropy, the whole nine yards. But that can also wait -- you don’t have to become financially super-literate overnight. Pay off your debt, start saving, and then look around and see where you’re at.

My personal advice, and this is subjective, is not to worry too much about “growing” your wealth. A lot of people are like “Well I have this pot of money, how do I turn it into a MUCH BIGGER pot of money?” and while that’s an option, it can be dangerous, especially when you don’t yet have a good cushion to fall back on. There are a lot of shady people out there who want to offer you unbelievable investments, amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, and then take your money and run. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. You have time. You don’t need to be a millionaire overnight. Once I started having a tiny drip of disposable income, I started putting it into an account with Betterment, which offers a respectable but not particularly lucrative 2% return on investments; I also have money in a savings account with a credit union which offers a 6% return, so look into your local credit unions, who not only often give great returns on savings but also reinvest your money in your community.

And if you’re interested in being financially literate, circle back to your financial advisor, or talk to your bank, and ask them what you can do to be more proactive in managing your wealth. There are classes you can take, or you can spend a month elbows-deep in investopedia, like I did, and there are a myriad of other options as well.

If you’re interested in being philanthropic, talk to your advisor about tax breaks for philanthropy; that might be down the road for you a bit, but there are family foundations you can set up or donor advised funds that you can invest in which allow you to give within your comfort level of anonymity. There are also “socially responsible” investment funds out there (I invest in one through my retirement account) that are concerned with not supporting fossil fuels, industries with known ties to slave labor, ecologically damaging corporations, etc. There are even Halal, Kosher, and other faith-based investment funds that cater to people who don’t want to put their money into investments that would violate their religious beliefs.

And of course, as I always advocate: having been poor, hold onto that feeling. Don’t let fear run you, but remember what it was like to be cash-insecure, and share your good fortune generously and graciously. Give charitably without an expectation of return, and give in ways that both fill an immediate need and long-term allow people to come up out of poverty themselves. A high tide ought to raise every ship.

Anyway, Anon, congratulations and good luck! You can do this, and you’re already being smart about it!

#Anonymous

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spiritualgangster-11 · 4 years

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Fear...false expectations appearing real..When you have a desire to do something at any age but allow the excuses to come up stop yourself. Ask yourself what am I afraid of and list all your fears OUT LOUD. I'm afraid of failing, looking stupid, im scared people will laugh at me, judge me. Scared of the projections like who do you think you are, scared that the work might overwhelm me, guilt of what you might have to give up, who you might have to leave behind, not being responsible or realistic, I can't make a living off that, not having the financial means to start and family and friends may stop loving me. These false beliefs and fears come from childhood pain. When you list them out loud feel the grief, the grief that no one ever said i was good enough, smart enough, no one ever supported me, that my desires don't matter, i dont deserve anything, feel the deep grief of just being damaged or broken, that no matter how hard you try you can never achieve anything, etc..The pain leaves your soul then the faith and drive are able to rise up and the path will be lit in front of you, to achieving anything you want. When you are in your pure desires the universe always supports you and abundance always comes...

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dimarunongmagdecidee · 4 years

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-----------------wakas---------------

Naalala ko pa yung time na inaayos ko yung blog ko. Sabi ko, hala gusto ko pag nagcollege ako magiging diary ko yung tumblr. So that may il-look back ako pagdating ng araw. Pero guess what? Sabi ng college life sakin "bitch u thot" hahhahaa i never imagined my college life to be this stressful and dreadful. To be honest, di ko alam pinasok ko. Lalo na nag accountancy HAHAHAHHA AS IN NO CLUE AT ALL. Pero anyways I'm writing this post to express my story in summary, sa caption ko kasi I decided to thank the people around me kasi deserve naman nila. Pero dito sa blog ko feel ko deserve ko naman iappreciate sarili ko. HHAAHHAHA.

Gusto ko lang sabihin na adjusting nung first year isn't so easy. Lalo na first time ko sa manila. Tho oo I'm a city girl, di ako galing sa province. Pero kasi di ako street smart so everyday ng byahe ko before pamanila i was very anxious na baka maligaw ako or may masamang loob sa sinasakyan ako or baka kung ano mangyare sakin along the way. Pero yung determination ko na gusto ko to. Dream school ko ust. Kakayanin ko. Kasi honestly di nila support na mag UST ako, aside from we're facing financial problems back then di rin nila ko kaya asikasuhin that time so I have to do all things by myself. Grabe ngayon, I'm super proud to that 16 year old wren. Nakakaiyak. Totoo ngang u need to get out of your comfort zone. Kelangan mong mag stand up kung gusto mo talagang mangyari pangarap mo.

Those 5 years were very rough. Ang daming times na muntik nako magstop. Ang daming problema. Mostly family and money. Yep, wala naman ako problema sa acads maybe that's why ang taas ng expectations nila sakin na ako daw hope ng family. Not gonna lie, sobrang pressure non. Parang wala ako karapatan mapagod. Pero you gotta make you weaknesses you strengths. At I wanna thank God for giving me a stubborn and tough mentality kahit anong dumaang problema sakin. Oo, nalulungkot pero lalaban parin.

I think it was my 2nd year nung naka adopt nako kahit papaano and I enjoyed my college life. Seryoso kasi parang wala akong buhay non nung 1st year. UST-Bahay-UST-Bahay lang talaga ako. No social life at all. Di ko alam siguro dahil time if of essence sakin dahil 4 years ba naman akong commute life. And mostly average of 5 hrs a day byahe ko (back and forth na syempre) pero ayun kinaya naman. GRABE UR A TOUGH GHORL. Pero don't get me wrong di nmaan ako puro aral pag uwi hahahaha nagppaahinga lang ako mostly sa bahay since nakakadrain talaga. I don't know sanay naman ako sa very focused sa acads na school since galing naman akong science high pero iba parin yung patayan dito sa AMV eh. Anyways, second year I started going out with blockies. Going to debuts, staying overnights, and inom na rin syempre :p di naman ako nagpabaya more like enjoying new things syempre uwi parin ako Alabang kaya kelangan may control HAHHAHAHA.

Third year, we shuffled sections because our program have to filter the students kung sino ang BSA at sino ang BSMA and luckily I am still accepted sa BSA iniyakan ko din retention exams kasi I was supposed to be exempted and matic BSA na pero bumaba GWA ko so :-( hahahahha anyways ayun nashuffle and I was super scaree that time kasi ibang mga tao nanaman. As you all know, super mahiyain ako sa mga new people unless sila un amag approach. So ayun another adjusting, another barkada. Solid din naman sila but things happened inside the circle kaya nawala din :( GRABE I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE CONFLICTS FRESH PARIN SA UTAK KO. Tho good terms naman proud ako gagraduate na kami, di lahat pero at least we survived.

Fourth year, I decided to join an org mostly because dun ko nalang makakasama mga OG tropa ko eince BSMA sila lahat at ako lang naiwan sa BSA so nag org ako and naging officer para magkakasama aprin kami kahit papaano. I was the Auditor of our college' local COMELEC. DI KO RIN SURE ANO PINASOK KO THAT TIME. Pero I end up loving the family and the responsibility. Oo, dagdag stress like LEGIT DAGDAG STRESS. Pero iba naman yung balik ng saya whenever you accomplish things and you serve the students lalo na't vital sa bansa natin ngayon yang COMELEC politics stuff. Grabe the joy of looking back sa things na dati akala mo wala lang. Ngayon narerealize mo yung impact niya sa life mo. Kung pano ka nagbago at naggrow. I am amazed self huhu PROUD AKO TALAGA SAYO SERYOSO. SORRY NA. Then ayun di ko pa ba nasabi 5 year course ako. So yung mga tropa kong MA, graduating na by this time. 4th year was when I became a social person kasi syemrpe joining an org tas officer ka pa dami makakasalamuha at makikilala. So ayun, diba nga nawala tropa ko from 3rd year that time, I can still remember how I always go to the classroom ng mga friends kong BSMA every break or every walang klase or kapag sila naman yung may klase nakatambay lang ako sa org room para matulog or magwait or magpalipas oras. Ghad those times I really felt alone, aside sa naiisip kong ggraduate na sila lahat tas ako maiiwan, nasasad ako kasi feel ko wala na talagang constant sa life ko lahat nawawala. Tapos dagdag mo pa na nung 2nd sem nalipat nanaman ako ng section shuta. Buti nalang. Buti nalang talaga super kind din ng mga tao sa napuntahan kong section. And I found my "Betsy" there. Oh diba sino bang mag aakala. Hahahahhaha anyways 4th year ako nagstart makistay sa condo ng friend ko since super hectic ng sched and di na talaga kaya ng uwian dahil yung sched ko panggabi tas may org duties pa. I stayed sa condo ng friend ko pero andon naman mom niya so may nag aasikaso samin. Grabe tita Beth super love ko siya. Sometimes I just stare at her and realize na at least may mother figure pa ako na kasama. If u dont know kasi (or if anyone is even reading up to this point) my mom left our family before ako nagcollege. Siguro gets niyo na why we had so many problems by now hahahahhaa. Anyways goods naman kami ni mommy siya parin tumulong sakin para makapagtapos hehe. Super thankful parin ako sa kanya syempre and ofc i love her still. Anyways ayon nga i felt another family kapag andon ako sa condo na yon which makes me warm and easy kapag andon ako. Super swerte ko talaga sa mga tao sa life ko. Bakit ganon? Super bait mo po G 🥺 shet naalala ko 4th year if thesis season pala. I can still remember the stress. Imagine may thesis ka, officer ka ng org, tapos sabay sabay pa lahat ng major exams grabe yun ata yung first time ko mag breakdown ng dahil sa acads. Seryoso, thats the nearest I was to breaking. Super hirap talaga for me lalo na di ata naiintindihan ng groupmates ko sa thesis na di ko makakayang 100% attentions ko sa thesis because I have other responsibilities. May nasira pang friendship seryoso. I never thought aabot sa point na ganon pero ewan baka ako rin yung mali don. I'm sorry guys!!! Pero congrats satin!! Proud ako sa inyooooo!!!

Fast forward, last year of my college life is IAC sem. Meaning parang rerun ng topic or review nalang for board exam. This time nagpaalam nako magdorm kasi shet last na to if I fail this one sayang naman yung mga taon. Kasi a lot of alumni told na kung madugo na undergrad, mas madugo IAC so I was determined to do better. And thankfully naman pinayagan nako magdorm since nakaluwag naman na and last na. I was so happy that time na magddorm ako shet finally. I wanted to feel independent or learn at least. Pero mostly dahil makakapagwalwal nako ng wlaang nakakaalam HAHHAHAHA char ofc part yun pero that's not the focus. Ayon, nung nagdorm ako I had the MOST SOLID FAM. Since nga diba wala nanaman ako tropa na makakasmaa kasi graduate na ofc so another adjustment nanaman sa life jusko every year nalang talaga. I dont know if sinasabi ko lang to because I am in the present and sila kasama ko now or its just i really feel the genuine love of this squad huhu. Or maybe dahil sila talaga yung nakasama ko through the darkest days sa AMV magkakasama kaming ginago ng sistema, ng admin, ng mundo and sabay sabay din kaming ggraduate ngayon. GRABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TANGINAAAA NAKAKAIYAK NAKAKAPROUD. LAHAT NG INUMAN, IYAKAN, PUYAT LAHAT YON MA LAHAT YON NAGPAY OFF. LAHAT YUN MAY REASON. LAHAT YUN DINALA TAYO DITO. Ang daming beses na nagdoubt kami if we could pero look at all of us now huhu lahat kami kinaya. As long as u got each others' backs talaga. Don't let anyone break.

Ayun to sum it up, narealize ko lang na I really value friendship a lot. Feel ko talaga they keep me going. They keep me sane. Super dali ko maimpluwensyahan pag kasmaa sila. They are both my joy and hope kapag stressedt huhu. Thank u self for choosing this path. Thank u for being strong. Thank you for believeing you can. Thank u kasi matigas ulo mo wala ka pake at nag aral ka lang AHAHAHAHA. NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU, LOOK AT THIS FEAT AND REMEMBER HOW STRONG U ARE OKI? I LOVE U WREN WREN CONGRATS TO YOUR ACHIEVEMENT!!! Can't wait to finally walk to that QPAV stage with my gradpic on the LCD and getting my diploma 😭😢

ALL THOSE 5 YEARS WAS LIKE A BLUR RIGHT NOW PERO I KNOW THE JOURNEY WASN'T EASY, IT NEVER IS. I HAD MY MOMENTS. PERO SALAMAT SA PAG OVERCOME LAGI. BE HAPPY WREN WREN. YOU DESERVE.

#life #for me #keeps #AAHHHHHH #lezzgoooo huhu

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boredom-reigns · 4 years

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Ken Amada : Character Introspection

Persona 3 and some P4:AU Spoilers!

Ken Amada is honestly one of my favourite Persona 3 characters. I know the way his character arc was handled was somewhat flawed (like when he basically doesn't matter after the closure of Oct. 4), but I still love him a lot nevertheless.

My main problem is honestly the fact that a lot of people in the fandom hate him so much it can get grating, especially if it's for nonsensical reasons (like him apparently being the cause of Shinjiro's death even though the person who shot the guy was right there).

I mean, not liking characters is fine. I respect other people's opinions. But spreading misinformation based on a misinterpretation of a scene is... yeah.

Note: These are my opinions and interpretations of his character based on P3 and P4:AU. Other opinions and interpretations are welcome!

First off, like most Persona characters, Ken's character is based off an archetype. Ken's archetype, you could say that it's based on the Adorably Precocious Child trope. He's acts too mature for his age, even trying to hide his childishness by denying the fact he watches Featherman and saying that he drinks black coffee.

But this maturity came at a cost. From the little glimpses of childishness that Ken has shown (for example, the movie showing event where he's basically jumping up and down in happiness because the superhero movie was so cool!) along with his reinforcement of the idea that no, he's capable even at 11 years old (one of his battle voice lines is "Don't underestimate me because of my age") makes me believe that he wasn't always like this. He was forced to mature due to circumstances or he forced himself to mature due to circumstances.

What was this circumstance?

Obviously, the death of his mom.

Ken's mom is a huuuggeee part of his life and basically affected him a lot. Her death made him what he was today. First is that he saw her get murdered right in front him. Of course he's going to be traumatised. Not only that, he had something to direct his anger and hatred to (I'll talk about that later).

But when he told people about what he saw, nobody believed him, obviously. But remember this, Ken was a kid. He was 9 at the time. And he was 100% sure that what he saw was real. When he was being basically labeled as a liar because everyone won't believe him and just treated him as some fragile, traumatised kid, he's going to lash out. He knew it was real yet everyone just thinks that he was lying. He didn't think that obviously no one would believe him because he was deep in grief and hatred. He wanted justice. But no one would help him because everyone's saying that it was an accident. And he hated that.

He had a target to hate, yet he was powerless to inflict punishment (his idea of "justice") on that target.

So he wanted to be capable. If no one's going to help him, then so be it. He'll do his own justice. So Ken forced himself to grow up. He forced himself to be more mature, copying the image of capability he believes in.

Another thing that possibly added to Ken forcing himself to mature is the way people treated him afterwards. To outsiders, he was a traumatised kid. Ken says in his conversation with Shinjiro that he just receives pity no matter where he goes and he hates that pity.

I've seen LPs where they're like "huh, but isn't that good?" to that line. Speaking as someone who has lost a loved one and dealed with other people who lost a loved one, expressing pity is a balancing act.

It's hard to express pity because people deal with grief differently and some people despise pity when they're grieving. Some people are of the mentality of "what use is your pity because it's not going to bring them back!". Being treated differently because you lost someone or being treated as some fragile person made of glass who's going to have a breakdown at any time is horrible. Moving on can be so hard when everyone is tiptoeing around you. And I think that's what Ken felt.

What Ken needed during his grieving was someone who would support him. Someone who believed in him. He didn't need someone who just stood along the sidelines and pitied him. He needed someone who actually approached him and bothered to listen. I feel like that was what Ken was looking for: someone to listen to him. Because everyone around him never listens and just calls him off as a liar. He had no support system whatsoever. He was staying alone in the elementary school dorm and from the convenience store bentos in his room that can be seen in P3D, you can infer that he was forced to take care of himself for 2 years. For 2 years, all he got was financial support and never the needed emotional support.

Because of this, he was left to internalise his grief which then evolved into hatred. He didn't have anybody anymore. There was no point in living for him because his mom, his light, was gone. No one else was there to give him a reason to live. No family, no friends, no one who believes in him. Ken felt that it was only him against the world.

So why should he keep on living?

And this is where the idea that he has a target enters in. This target of his hatred became his one and only purpose. Why? Because it was the only thing that was there for him. He had no one and nothing. The only thing he had in life was this target of his extreme hatred. The target for his justice. Giving the rightful punishment to this target became his only purpose in life to the point that after killing Shinjiro, he was going to kill himself. Ken's only reason to live was to kill Shinjiro for revenge.

As for his entire "Mom would've wanted this.", I feel like that's more of him trying to justify his actions. He had a target of his giref: Shinjiro. He wanted to kill Shinjiro because Shinjiro killed his mom. But murder is a very daunting task. Even Ken hesitated. I feel like he just justified himself with "Mom would've wanted this." so he can do it. Because killing Shinjiro is the only thing left in life for him. It's the only thing he can do now. He had no reason for living other than Shinjiro's death. So he tried to justify it so he would be able to get through doing it and to give him more reasons as to why he should really do it and not hesitate.

On October 4, it was an utter disaster especially when Takaya (*cough* Shinjiro's real killer *cough* people who keep insisting that Ken is the killer) arrived. At this part, Ken finds out about Shinjiro's drug deal. He loses his shit because he finds out that Shinjiro's going to die early anyway no matter what he does. Killing Shinjiro at this point felt like knocking someone who was already down. It had no point. And because killing Shinjiro had no point, Ken's entire purpose for living had no point. So... He had no purpose.

And this was why Ken went "I have no reason to live."

Other things we can actually see on October 4 is that Ken does care about SEES. He joined SEES with ulterior motives but in the end, he cares. He pretended that he was the navigator to make sure that Takaya won't find out about Fuuka and that Takaya would target him. The time he spent in SEES was most likely the most emotional support he got (and that's kinda sad because SEES is like the most dysfunctional party out of all the Persona games (except maybe P2:EP?)). He got people who saw the same things he saw, people who understood him. He got people who actually bothered to talk to him and listen. Heck, you can even bring him to the movies which I'm sure is great because who knows how long has that kid haven't seen a movie or had fun. There's people who actually don't treat him with so much pity. That fact that you can bring him to Tartarus, I think he's glad about that because he's not underestimated. Ken was respected in SEES as an equal and he appreciated it.

After the entire Oct. 4 shenanigans, Ken has learned to look into himself. He realized his mistakes, his deep hatred blinding him, but most of all, he found a reason to live. He finally moved on, and decided to live as that was what his mom and Shinjiro would've truly wanted.

Then fast forward to P4:AU we can see that he's indeed living. He's pretty much the most popular guy in school, he's in Student Council, and he's even in the soccer club. But he can't fully live yet.

If you've P3 episode of P4:AU, you'd play the Ken vs Shadow Ken part which actually reveals a lot about post-P3 Ken. If you haven't, watch it here.

Ken can't be 100% content with his current life. He feels fake, being a child again, going to school normally and having friends his age to talk and laugh with. This is because of how much his past has destroyed his childhood. He was forced to mature, forced to see things his age shouldn't see, forced to experience things that he shouldn't experience that age. No one his age could understand. They were too innocent while the ones who could understand him (SEES) were too old.

An interesting thing about his entire image post-P3 is that he was basically the "ideal student". He was handsome, smart, athletic, responsible, etc. It makes me wonder if he got that image because it was what he thought was what living was (which his mom and Shinjiro wanted) or because that was what people expected of him. I can see him trying to be more of a child because people expected him to be lighter as the entire Tartarus-Nyx dilemma was gone. I can also see him forcing himself to be more of a child as he feels the obligation to take back the childhood he lost. But that's it, he forced himself. He's not content because for him, he's fake.

Ken's fake he only wanted to fight and this affects him. I think he wanted to fight because that felt the closest to his true self: who he was when he was with SEES. He wanted to help the Shadow Operatives because it was the only environment he can be 100% honest to himself. No pretending that he had a normal life. It was living as him, with people who knew him. In the end, it circles back to the point that he finds fighting Shadows as a purpose to live.

This chapter also showed that Shinjiro still affects him. He blames himself for what happened on October 4, with his monologues saying that he committed a mistake in relation to Shinjiro's death. Shinjiro is an important person to him and his death was very much impactful.

Then Ken fights his fake, where he says that he's been "conceited" and "didn't understand anything at all". I take this as a point of enlightenment for him. What he didn't understand was "living". He followed a mold that be felt he should follow. He thought that he could only feel true to himself by only fighting supernatural creatures. He realised that he wasn't truly living at this point. He thought he understood that he was living like how his mom and Shinjiro wanted but he wasn't. He was still stuck in the past.

This was why I loved his epilogue. In his epilogue, he decides to quit the Shadow Operatives. He decides that it was time for him to move on from their dark past and continue living, not only for his mom and Shinjiro, but also for himself. He thinks that it was better for him this way. He gets to regain his childhood.

His fangirls notice that he's become less distant and more warm to approach, showing signs that he's beginning to open up to people. Despite the fact that he can never tell people about the whole Shadows and Personas, he can still make new bonds. He doesn't have to be stuck on one bond.

This doesn't mean he's abandoning SEES. He still recognises his string bond with them, one might even say that they're family at this point. But just because he has a bond with them doesn't mean he should only restrict himself to them. He can make new, true bonds that aren't fake.

He finds out how to truly live. He just enjoys the moment and finally lets go, showing his inner child.

Ken's character is all about the purpose of life. Because even if life is so hard it feels like death, there's always a reason to live. Even if you can't find your purpose to live now, you will find it someday.

#persona 3 #persona 4 arena ultimax #ken amada #shinjiro aragaki #character introspection #i love him if you couldn't tell #im also curious about other people's interpretations #long post

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dissolutionandcreation · 5 years

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Hey! How's SD training going? Do you have any advice based on what you've experienced in the first few months like "I wish someone had told me about [whatever]"? I'm likely going to have to train my own SD so if there's anything you can share about the process that would be awesome!

Hi anon! Oo I have so much advice I’d love to give. :D

Firstly, training is going decent! I’m more battling a “am I doing enough training each day” but Tali’s doing great--so I think we’re going at a good pace. She’s such a smart puppy and I’m so glad I went with such a good breeder who set her up for success.

So, here are my tips about owner training a service dog, based on the three months I’ve been working with Tali so far!

Find an awesome breeder:

For service dog work, you need more than just a health testing and ethical breeder. Look for one who specifically raises puppies to be service dog candidates, or at least does puppy culture protocol on their dogs. They should also have a comprehensive, age-appropriate, socialization plan for their puppies and understand puppy development really well.

We worked with Cosmopolitan Companion Dogs (Goldendoodles)!

Your mental health will (most likely) get worse at first:

It’s usually best to owner train from puppyhood...but that means a lot of work at first. We had several breakdowns (and are still super exhausted) since taking Tali home! Potty accidents, financial stress, walking up and down the stairs so much to prevent accidents, hypervigilance of watching her, and all that.

Honestly, I’d highly recommend NOT starting to train your service dog unless you are in a stable position for at least a year (as in, no major suicidal or self harm crises). We’ve been stable for almost three years and still ended up almost in crisis.

Get pet insurance:

Service dogs a huge financial and time investment and it’s worth protecting them. We use Trupanion btw and have liked them so far!

Socialize!

Find out what your dog is nervous around (Tali’s was loud metallic sounds and large objects moving across the floor) and keep doing them. Don’t baby your pup if they’re scared, just act neutral and confident.

Outside socialization (various lightings, unexpected sounds, etc) is really important before 16 weeks. Talk with your vet to see if it’s safe to take them for walks pre-vaccination (in our area it definitely was) or get a shoulder sling or stroller to take them out in, if they’re too large to carry.

Don’t train psych tasks until your dog is 18 months:

Puppies need to develop their own emotional maturity before being able to reliably handle psych tasks. You don’t want them to be desensitized or get anxious at your own psych symptoms, so it’s best to wait for this. I’d also recommend against calling your pup over for comfort during distress too often. You don’t want them picking up on certain triggers and feeling upset by them as well, or other things like that! So, just use them for support in moderation until they’re development is well underway.

This is just a recommendation, but it’s an important one I feel!

Know how to handle off leash dogs:

Off leash dogs can mean big danger for you and your SDiT. Definitely know how to handle them (like how to draw a dog’s attention, what sort of behavior to watch out for, and how to keep your pup in an emergency downstay). There are lots of great articles you can google on this!

Also speak with your animal control center on this, so that you feel comfortable calling them every time you see an off leash dog (if it’s illegal in your area, that is!). You can always call them or the police if you feel you or your SDiT is in danger from another dog or animal, though.

Celebrate the little victories!

This is SO important! Dog training is slow and hard work, so celebrate the tiny things. Don’t hold yourself to expectations of people who have perfect public access trained dogs at 5 months (likely, those dogs will burn out--that’s too much for a pup at that age!). Go at your own pace. We can’t even handle always doing obedience training every day (on top of potty training and general house manners), so we’re working on being okay with that.

Celebrate when your pup walks ten feet on a loose leash. Celebrate them doing a leave it for even a second! Be excited over them making eye contact or settling next to you!

Reward the behavior you like:

If your pup is doing something you like, reward them. This will basically work as direct training, by capturing the behavior and letting them know you like it.

I did this with Tali and settling. Whenever she’d settle near me, like when talking with someone outside while we were on a walk and just lay down, I’d give her the occasional treat. Now she naturally settles whenever I’m not doing training with her (even at 14 weeks she settled under a café table! They invited us in to train, btw).

I also did the same when we’d be actively walking and she’d glance at me, so now she tends to stay close and glance at me when walking. It’s the pre-cursor to heeling and focusing on me!

I truly hope this helps. I’m totally down for answering whatever else I can!

(Btw, if you want to help support our training, come get yourself a cute dog art print here!)

#service dog in training #service dog #sdit #dog training #service dog training #tali #dog breeder #goldendoodle #doodles #puppies #owner training #owner trained service dog #otsd #Anonymous

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sellingmysoulforbts · 5 years

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You're having second thoughts about your career choice. BTS x Reader Reaction

Genre: mild angst, fluff. College AU. Gender neutral.

Warnings: strong language, self degradation.

as requested by @erraticsoul

A/N: I just wanna say that it is okay to change your career path. You're really young when you are forced to choose what you want to do for the rest of your life and we sometimes make mistakes. The most important thing is that you are happy.

Kim Seokjin

He was there for you, every single time you needed that extra support. This madness began when you started having trouble with some of the subjects that you had to take in college. Thoughts like 'how can I become a professional if I can't solve this simple exercise?' clouded your brain. Jin came on time only to find you crying over your homework.

"Tell me, how am I supposed to do this my entire life?"

"By giving your best, like I know you do, and if that's not enough then it's probably not what you should be doing" he would answer.

Then he proceeded to tell you one of his terrible jokes about the subject your having trouble with. Like if you weren't having it with chemistry he'd go "hey, are you made of copper and tellurium? 'Cause you're CuTe" and if that didn't work, he'd always come to you with a new plate he's made in class because he definitely a culinary arts major.

Min Yoongi

He was confused, like he didn't get how you felt at all. Since he was really young he new what his goals were and started working really hard to achieve them. You, on the other hand, have thought about every single career path, none of them seemed to completely fulfill you. Like you went from wanting to be a model to a rocket scientist in the span of two months, so you knew as soon as you filled that application form to enter college, with whatever career you had landed eyes on at the moment you weren't going to stick to it. Yoongi would try so hard to help you find something you like and would like doing for the rest of your life, just like he did.

"Okay, how about being a teacher?" He suggested one time.

"But I'll have to know the subject first, so what can I teach?"

"Never mind" he said.

He would just enroll you in a bunch of classes that have nothing to do with your current major, just to see if you'd like any of it.

Wanting to become a producer was his lifelong dream, the feeling he got every time he got a step closer was something Yoongi wanted you to experience as well, so he'd never give up on you.

Jung Hoseok

He would be the one to notice and call you out on it. Hobi was a dance major, so he had practice almost every day and you'd come, even if it was late or skip classes to see him. At first he didn't think much about it, and he appreciated the effort you were putting into the relationship, but then you stopped coming like once a week or just skipping a class to have lunch together and began coming like three times a week, and he would see you around campus with friends when he knew you had class.

"Hey, I saw you today walking out of campus" he said one day, after he was done with practice and you were still there.

"Oh, really? I didn't see you, I'd have said hi. At what time did you see me?"

"While you were supposed to be in class" he answered, trying not to sound mad.

"Yeah, the professor cancelled it last minute, so I didn't really have time to tell you" you genuinely thought he was jealous because you were hanging out with boys, but he wasn't. You'd you really be here so late if you were cheating on him? No, and he knew you would never, but he was concerned.

"And has he cancelled classes all week, and last one?" He inquired.

His tone gave away he was implying that you had been skipping class for the whole month.

"No" you answered softly.

"Is everything okay?"

"No" you answered again. He took your hands as a way to show you his support. "Why?" "I just don't feel happy anymore, like when I first got in I was so sure this was what I wanted and now I find it hard and I'm really stressed. I've been looking for other career options and I might change majors so I guess I lost interest and just stopped making an effort to pass" you shrugged, he kissed your hands.

"It's okay. We're still very young and I want you to do something that makes you happy"

Kim Namjoon

You. Felt. Dumb. You were having such a hard time in some classes, and not understanding anything your teacher said. At first you just worked a little harder and visited your professor to ask some questions, but seeing your classmates getting good grades or putting a minimum effort to understand, made you feel out of place and dumb, like actually stupid. Namjoon was an extremely intelligent human being, and that's no secret. He was an English major, and an outstanding student.

He was going to surprise you, you had been busy all week with schoolwork and he knew how hard you worked so he gave you your space, but it was Friday and he missed you like crazy. He didn't expect, when he walked into your apartment, to see you crying over your homework. Like actually balling your eyes out. Your brain was so chemically imbalanced at the moment that you barely felt arms wrapping around your sobbing form.

He managed to calm you down a little bit, and finally asked what's wrong.

"I can't do it Namjoon, I actually am incapable of doing it. I'm just a stupid piece of shit who can't even solve her homework. Why am I even trying at this point? I'm going to fail because my brain does not have the capacity to understand this subject" you basically yelled out and broke down crying again. He was so pained to see you like that and hearing that horrible things from your mouth broke his heart.

"Shh, don't say that baby, you are not dumb" "of course you'd say that, mister my IQ is 148, I only get As with minimum effort. I've being working on this thing for a week. A WEEK, and I can't do it. My teacher is sick of me for going every single day to ask him something." You were getting angry at this point, not with him but with yourself. Maybe throw in your parents as well for making you this way, but not at him, never at him, even though your words proved otherwise.

"Baby, look at me." He said. You shook your head embarrassed at your attitude.

He squatted right in front of you and took your face in his hands, dried your tears and smiled.

"You are not dumb, not because you have to work a little harder does it mean you're less capable of doing something. Besides, you're so far from stupid. When I look at you I see a wonderful human being, smart and kind, and that's what I love about you. Your perspective on the world, and your unique way of understanding things." He told with a sincere voice and that made you smile a little. "Also, I do put effort into my work but I like what I do so much that I doesn't feel like it, now tell me, do you like what you're doing?" He asked. " I don't know anymore" "okay how about this? Let's take a break right now, we go grab something to eat, we get back, cuddle, watch a movie. Just relax and not think about college for a while. And we can discuss this in the morning with a fresh mind."

Park Jimin

He was mostly sad, you didn't choose this for yourself, it was your parents dream. He would just try and comfort you, by hugging you and whispering words of encouragement. You were sad, angry and scared. You couldn't do what you wanted because your parents didn't support you but you also didn't want to disappoint them.

"I'm so sick of this Jimin, I don't think I can keep doing this." You said one day, you had to study for your upcoming tests but finding motivation was hard.

He couldn't fully comprehend your dilemma, his parents were super supportive.

"I know baby, but the semester is almost over."

"And then comes the next, and one after that, and on and on, not to mention the years ahead of me of working in this" you wanted to cry, just let out your frustration.

"Hey, how about, you start taking classes for what you really want, until you build up the courage to talk to them." He suggested. "I don't know I'm so scared." Your voice broke a little. His caring instincts kicking in immediately, so he hugged you. "It okay, I'm sure what they want is for you to be happy and have a safe future financially, that's why you're here, but you can prove to them that you'll succeed doing whatever you want, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. I believe in you, and besides I'm quite thankful to your parents for picking that for you or we might have never met."

"You're right" and with him by your side you had the motivation you needed.

Kim Taehyung

It was hard, Tae, your boyfriend, always seemed to have more free time, and enjoy his college experience way more than you did. He was one of the few things you were grateful for, during your time in college. The little study dates you had were like the only way to get you to open a book, and they were a 2x1 deal for him. Taehyung was an art history student and it required to read a lot so he could do his school work and spend time with you. You weren't irresponsible or anything but you started to wonder if you chose your career right, because the lack of motivation was really dragging you down. You were in the coffee shop you usually went with Taehyung to study just contemplating how you wanted your life to look in ten years, when he came.

"Hey" he said. "Hi" you answered still a little distraught. "Did you order?" You nodded in response. "Is everything o-" he started but you soon interrupted him "how did you know what you wanted to study?" "well my school took us to a museum for a school trip once, and I was fascinated by the art, but also intrigued as to what led the painters to do such masterpieces and I guess I got hooked on that. Why?" "I'm just not sure with what I'm doing,I never had a revelation moment so I just went with what sounded the least unpleasant at the moment" "Well how about we finish here and we can go find some counselling for you?" "You think I should change majors?" "Baby, when was the last time you felt happy and satisfied with your work and what you learned?" He asked and you grew quiet at that. "Exactly. What you do for the rest of your life has to be something that you enjoy and you're clearly not enjoying this." So you did just that, found help to discover what makes you happy.

Jeon Jungkook

I mean he would be kinda disappointed that you didn't told him first thing and that he had to discover it for himself. You were thinking and rethinking if you had made the right choice, so you turned yourself into a little help from the internet, trying thing from quizzes all the way to astrological birth charts, of course when he wasn't around.

As you were spending the weekend together doing homework and watching movies, he stumbled upon a word he didn't quite know the meaning of. He was studying animation, and taking classes for film production, but he was trying to do some homework for an English class.

"Babe, can I use your phone real quick? Mine ran out of battery" he asked. "Sure, what for?" "I just want to Google this word" he said and have you that bunny smile, you handed him the phone unblocked, not worrying in the slightest. He got it,and quickly clicked on the navigator, as he was about to type he peeked at your search history, things like 'how to choose your major', 'how do I know if I made the right decision','best careers based on your zodiac sign' that last one made him chuckle but he was generally preoccupied, because something was definitely wrong. He made a mental note to talk to you about it. Jungkook quickly made the research and completed his task. He then approached you, to give it back to you. You were just in the couch reading something, as he handed you the phone with a smile you sensed something off. "So, what's the best career for a virgo?" He wondered. It took a minute for it to click. "Kook…" you trailed of, not sure as to what to say. He sat down next to you. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" "I just- I was.. am so confused. I believe I chose what I did for a reason but now I'm not so sure and it been going on for a while. I guess I didn't want to bother you with stupid problems like that." You told him. He just shook his head. "That's why I am your boyfriend, so you can come to me with whatever is bothering you and we can fix it together cause we're a team, and it works the other way around too." "You're right, sorry" "It's okay, but promise me you will from now on" " I will, I promise" you smiled at him and he answered back "now that that's out of the way, let's find your perfect major" and with a kiss on your cheek, you then proceed to go through a lot of lists and quizzes a lot of websites suggested, together.

a/n: I’m so sorry this took so long but the scenario really hit home and I got distracted, anyways i hope you enjoy it and like it.

gifs not mine

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isthisitbytaylornicole · 3 years

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"is this it?" BLOG POST #3: let's talk about money. what it brings out in people and how to manage it as young adults. (and more...)

Author's Note

Welcome back to another installment of "is this it?" by Taylor Nicole. Thank you so much for tuning in and supporting this blog. I hope you all had a fantastic week and Happy Juneteenth! Juneteenth is now a federal holiday! Although I still feel as if the government only made Juneteenth a federal holiday just to shut black people up, (we can get into that on a different blog) it is nice to see some sort of progress being made in regards to us trying to repair our immensely messed up society. Nevertheless, please use this weekend to educate yourself about why Juneteenth is so important and don't forget to celebrate this holiday. Often times, I feel as if we forget to celebrate the small victories because we are still in a battle over the more prominent issues. Take this weekend to commemorate this special victory while remembering that after the party is over, we have a lot of work still ahead of us. (And Joe...don't forget to run me my reparations! WHAT'S GOOD?!)

"Keep your friends rich and your enemies rich and wait to find out which is which..." - Anthony Stark a.k.a IronMan

Money. Paper. Dinero. There are so many words we can use to describe money. Money can be your best friend, or your worst enemy. Money can build a relationship, and break one down. Money can save life and end one. Money is the only thing that is hard to come by but easy to lose. As young adults, we are extremely susceptible to all kinds of potentially dangerous ventures and it is not our fault. Financial literacy and simple money management was not something that was taught to me at any school I went to as a child. Many of the sticky financial situations we get into as young adults are due to our lack of knowledge on how to maneuver around them. Often times we may find ourselves in debt, taking unnecessary loans, falling into money scams, and looking for any short term money solutions that will ultimately put us into an even deeper whole than we began in. Money also has the capability to bring out many problematic, and even loathsome tendencies within people that can prove to be detrimental to any relationship.

For me, money truly began to take form in my life once I got to college. Not only was money very hard to come by, but it was even harder to keep. Between the social events, school supplies, door dash and any other unnecessary college paraphernalia, my pockets where emptying out quickly and the piggy bank was collecting more dust than dough! (I'm lame, I know.) I soon realized that I would need to find a job and I needed one quickly if I wanted to maintain this city girl/college girl lifestyle and persona. I knew very little about the importance of money management whilst in college and how spending my money so consistently would ultimately effect many of the relationships I made throughout college. Money also (very quickly) taught me not to expect much financial integrity from most people (especially from college students) because ultimately we are all broke and most times if someone can get away with giving the bare minimum, then they will give the very bare minimum.

If you have not already heard of the concept of "putting in" in regards to money in college, first of all, good for you. Secondly, it's essentially bullshit. This concept, in a nutshell, means that everyone puts in something towards whatever it is you are trying to buy. Either everyone puts in the same amount, or in most cases, you simply put in what you can. Often times, people say they will put in a certain amount and then end up putting in less (if anything) towards this common goal. I quickly learned to never be the first person to put in. Depending on the setting and the group of people that are involved, I always wait until everyone has gone to then offer up the amount I choose to put in. I do this for many reasons. The first reason being, people (especially most college students) will never divulge how much money they think everyone should put in, but will often choose an amount that is in fact less than what they might have originally put in if they knew everyone was in fact putting in that same amount. Secondly, the first person to announce what they are "putting in" primarily sets the tone for everyone else's amounts. If someone was to say "I'll put in $15", everyone else might then feel somewhat obligated to put in an amount closer to or around $15 because that is the tone that has been set in that particular instance. As apposed to if someone said "I can only put in $5", then that is the amount that will most likely be mimicked this go around. Essentially, I am suggesting that in future situations, it is better to bring your own car to race as apposed to getting in someone else's when you get there because they might not have any gas. 😬

Borrowing money is another tricky concept that most people have not fully seemed to grasp. This is why I no longer borrow money from people. Borrowing is defined as, "to take and use (something that belongs to someone else) with the intention of returning it." [Oxford Definitions] With the intention of returning it. This is the part that people seem to forget. As I mentioned in my last blog post, (don't forget to check that out if you haven't😉) I am not the kind of person that will bombard you, especially in regards to money. Simply ask yourself if you think you have the means or intentions to pay this person back and let that be the basis of your borrowing habits. Everyone will have to borrow money, to some extent, at some point in their life and that is perfectly normal and acceptable. It begins to get problematic once you have accumulated such a large borrowing tab that your intentions to repay are clouded by your inability to recognize some sort of moral culpability.

Lastly, it is important to have some sort of financial literacy. We are at the age now where most of us are beginning to have our own responsibilities for example, car notes, bills, rent ,etc. Simply knowing the components of what financial literacy is is a great place to start. Financially literacy [as defined by www.corporatefinaceinstitute.com] is, "the cognitive understanding of financial components and skills such as budgeting, investing, borrowing, taxation, and personal financial management." Straightforwardly, knowing how to open and maintain a bank account is a great place to start. No more carrying around your life savings and wads of cash in your pocket. First of all, that is problematic and unsafe and opening a bank account is free. Remember to be smart with your money. Treat it with care because as easily as you may have gotten it, it can just as easily be taken away.

Please join me again on Tuesday in my fourth installment of "is this it?" by Taylor Nicole where I will be discussing the topic of: how to an ally, in celebration of pride month 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️. I hope that you enjoyed this post and thank you so much for reading. I hope to see you again! 💛👩🏾‍💻

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