#I'm going to make them hate me and there's nothing i can do

[thealternateuniverse]

At who's the best at

Paige Bueckers x Fem reader

Warnings: Slowburn (?), curses, sexual inunendos

A/N: I couldn't think of a title 😭 I am so sorry. Other characters are from my imagination, they are not related to NCAA at all. Had to get this ideas out of my head.

Y/N was panting, hands on her knees after doing laps across the court. Today is hell, Geno is not taking it easy on them, the training is tougher compared to the previous months as their team is advancing to Elite 8. She thanked the cardio gods for being on her favor today or she will pass out. Taking one last deep breath, she put her both hands on her waist and walked towards the three point shot perimeter. Qadence pats her on the back while she is dribbling for a three point shot.

"Take it easy babe." She nodded at Qadence before shooting the ball. Another miss.

"Miller!" Geno motioned to come to him. Y/N sighed and jog towards her coach's direction.

"Kid, do you see this?" Geno handed her his clipboaard with her stats on it.

"This is from the last game against Duke."

Y/N scanned her stats, and it is much better progress compared to their match against Sycaruse and Jackson State.

"Yeah and it will get more better if you can hoop today. What the hell is wrong Miller? Shade and Edwards blocked you three times today. You don't get blocked thrice based on these stats. What's wrong kid?"

Y/N didn't respond and remain silent. It shows in the practice that she is preoccupied today.

"Nothing Geno, it's just......" she trailed off thinking of what she should say.

"I'll do better. I'll make sure to clear my mind before practice so I can focus." Y/N continued, bowing her head slightly. She had to prove to UConn women's basketball team that they will not regret accepting her back when she transferred here during her 2nd year. But Geno doesn't seem to be convinced of her answer.

"Alright. I am expecting much better results in our next practice. We can't make excuses once USC had our asses in our match. Go take a swim or a run in your neighborhood or whatever later, you're not yourself today and I don't want to see you like a vegetable during practice."

Y/N nodded and Geno gave her an encouraging pat on the back before letting her go back to practice. It made her feel a little better but her day is still shitty.

----

Y/N's phone keeps vibrating, this is the umpteenth time her parents called her today. She doesn't want to answer it, it will be divorce probably. It already threw her game off today and she doesn't want to ruin her day more by answering it.

Mum:

talk to me hun, please

Hun, we are sorry, I know this will be hard for you.

Do you hate us?

I'm sorry, love. It's not working anymore between me and your dad.

Dad:

Peanut, please answer your phone.

I'm sorry.

We wanted to tell you for a long time.

---

Y/N turned off her phone. With a deep sigh, she ate her tacos. She's got a lot on her plate now, her studies, her upcoming match, and now her parents divorce. She wanted to take a break.

"Boo, you okay? You're preocuppied the whole day." KK finally asked. Her teammates have been giving each other knowing looks and tiptoeing around her all day. They are not used to her being silent. She went out with them tonight hoping it will take off some things in her mind.

"I'm fine girl. Just woke up on the wrong side of the bad today." She smiled at KK. She's not ready to talk yet not until she's able to come to terms with her family.

"You suck, Miller. Paige is getting full of herself today and you're too preoccupied to humble her."

Paige almost choked on her shirley temple, she took a napkin and wiped her mouth.

"Me? Full of myself? Come on Aubs." Paige scoffs.

"Miller just realized today I don't need humbling, I'm actually good." Paige raised her eyebrows playfully followed by their teammates violent reactions.

Y/N grinned. She had to thank Paige for diverting their teammates from pressing on what's going on with her. The subject of being the best shooter between her or Paige became a daily banter. Paige was not unwelcoming when Y/N transferred in UConn but her competitive ass made sure to show why she was here first instead of Y/N. Y/N admits that Paige is actually better than her and the best all rounder, her transferring here seemed challenged the latter on who's best at what. She doesn't know why Paige thinks she has competition when she is actually the best. She likes to get on Paiges nerves so she gets along with Paige's imaginary contest.

"Get outta here Bueckers, I can do what you did earlier even with a hangover" Y/N said, giving Paige a sheepish grin. Paige made 43 consecutive 3 point shots, it got into her head today without Y/N beating it. It always annoy Paige when Y/N's record is close or beat hers.

"Oi, enough you two." Azzi stopped them before it could start to bickering. Y/N raised both her hands in surrender. She took a sip of her margaritas while still giving Paige a cocky grin. Now the latter looks annoyed.

They continued having fun, dancing and drinking. Y/N didn't move that much from her seat, she's tired and the margarita must've probabaly hit already.

"I'm just gonna go to the restroom." She excused herself. Feeling dizzy Y/n groaned, guess she will have that hangover tomorrow.

She decided to turn on her phone and was still bombarded with texts from her parents. Her mum's name popped on the screen and decided to answer it finally.

"Honey, I'm glad you answered. I've been calling all day." Her mom sounded worried on the other line.

"Sorry mum. Busy."

Her mother sighed. Y/N doesn't exactly know what to say, she is still processing that her parents will have a divorce. Out of 23 damn years, they just decided now that they don't need each other?

"Honey I.... I am so sorry. If you could come home soon we could have a talk, with your dad and I."

Y/N rolled her eyes.

"I am not going home, mom. California is 2000 miles away, I have an upcoming game in 2 weeks, and I am busy for my finals. What's the point? Your going to sell the house anyway now that you are getting divorce."

She didn't mean to sound mad over the phone, but she is really upset.

"I will call you when I am ready to talk to you both. If you two want a divorce, fine, but give me time to process that my parents don't need each other anymore after 23 damn years."

She didn't wait for her mother's response and hang up.

------

Paige went back to their booth joined by a tipsy Nika after their teammates are gone to god knows where. Dancing or probably making out with someone.

"Hey P, have fun! You're awfully behave tonight. Loosen up, it's weekend tomorrow."

Nika nudged her and throw an arm over her shoulder.

"I'm good, Ma. I don't want hangover tomorrow. Besides, someone has to stay sober to make sure you all get home safely."

Nika scoffed, rolling her eyes at her teammate. It's their last free night before Geno will give them total hell in preparation against their match with USC.

"You're boring me P. I'll go join the others and have fun being miserable here. Have you se---" Nika wasn't able to finish her sentence when a commotion started in the middle of the bar. Recognizing the 6 foot tall asses of their teammates in the scuffle, the two ran towards their direction.

"What in the fuck happened?" Nika felt her slight tipsiness gone, helping KK reach Ayanna who's ready to take a swing to an athlete from Yale. The bouncers are trying to separate them before it ends up to a total brawl. Paige scanned where the others are and her eyes landed on Y/N, her sleeves are up, Aubrey blocking her from punching another Yale athlete.

"You don't talk shit here, dawg. Go back to New Haven and fuck your slutty girlfriend!"

Paige grabbed Y/N by the waist and dragged her out of the scene. For someone who is always cool and at her composure, she was surprised that Miller can trash talk.

"Calm down, Miller. You don't get to injure that million dollar hands." With Azzi trailing behind, she brought Y/N outside and pinned her on the wall to calm her down. She looks disheveled, some of her locks escaped from her ponytail, her face is red, her sleeves are uneven and she is reeking of alcohol. What a total mess.

"What in the world was that Y/N, I know you guys don't start fights but you all are better than this. Gosh, how many drinks did you have? You are reeking of alcohol!" Azzi said frustrated.

Y/N scoffs, wiping some sweat on her forehead. Paige couldn't agree more with Azzi. They don't start fights, Y/N never looses her cool even during their banters at who is best, intense matches and bad calls from ref. Paige wonders what made her so worked up that she almost punch someone today.

"Nah, I was cool Az. I took shots from everyone, sorry I lost count."

The 2 of them grimaced. They check Y/N if she had any injuries, Geno will kill them if they are scathed and once he hears about this. Azzi wonders as to why Yale women's basketball are in Storrs. That's like an hour drive just for a night's drink.

"God you are drunk and you can take a fight." Paige said amused. She never saw Y/N got drunk because she never was.

"Oh yeah Bueckers, wanna try? Let's take it here outside." Y/N stood straight, her face annoyed.

Well that was hot. Paige thought. She raised her hands in surrender before Y/N gets totally pissed. Y/N haven't landed a punch but it might be on Paige if she triggers the latter. Azzi gave her a scolding look.

"Chill, Ma. T'was a compliment."

Y/N rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall again. She's starting to feel hazy.

"What did they do anyway?" Azzi asked.

"Douchebag's girlfriend was offering me a drink, I declined. She thought I want to fuck her slutty girlfriend and proceeds to call us defects, the others heard it, we didn't mind until she pushed Aaliyah."

Paige clenched her jaw and Azzi rubs her temple. Half of the team suffered injury in the past year. Paige wished she hadn't grabbed Y/N and let her land her fist first before fleeing from the scene, it was uncalled for. Drunken Miller surprised them tonight, they didn't know that her mouth can talk.

"That's it, we are all getting home. I'm gonna go get the others." Azzi left them outside.

"Yeah Azzi and tell that cunt to fuck her girlfriend properly."

Paige shook her head. Y/N is definitely the highlight of tonight's event.

"What got you so worked up today, Miller? You almost took it out on someone."

KK was right, Y/N was preoccupied. She didn't have any baskets during practice. Paige had 29 3 points in a row today, usually Y/N comes close or even beat her. It's unusual for someone who plays ball since 5th grade, she just did laps all day.

Y/N groans. "I'll talk about it tomorrow when I'm sober. can you take me home please? Paige."

Paige, licked her lips and pretends to think about it. She's gonna do it anyway.

"I never thought you were into girls." Paige blurted out. She mentally slapped herself right after. Her intrusive thoughts won.

"You guys never asked. I never said I was into boys either. So annoying."

For some reason, Paige couldn't keep her smile off. She was grinning like and idiot. Y/N noticed and she rolled her eyes, Paige looks stupid.

"You look like an idiot Bueckers."

"Maybe I am."

She twirls her car keys and they started to walk where she parked her car. She's behind Y/N who's trying to keep a straight-face and herself from stumbling.

Azzi and KK following them, KK still heated from the commotion earlier and keeps trash talking. Azzi is trying to cover her mouth for being loud. KK, Azzi, Nika and Y/N rode with Paige. The others were at Aaliyah's car since they live together in the same apartment. Paige shook her head, they are all dead on Monday.

-------

Y/N woke up, her head pounding and throat dry. She groaned when she tried to get up. She knew immediately it was bad last night to have a hangover like this, she rarely gets drunk and when she does, she has it bad. She jolted up when realizes that this is not her room. The bed sheet is purple, there are Miami Heat posters everywhere and the trophies are too many to be hers. Not until she saw the familiar number 5 jersey hanging on the wall.

"Fuck, what did I do last night." She whispered to herself. This must be Paige's room. She tries recalling the events of last night and vaguely remembers the Yale athlete talking shit. She almost got involved in a brawl.

Y/N got up from bed only to realize that she is wearing Paige's clothes, it's one of her old team USA shirts, nothing else and her boxers. It's already 2 in the afternoon, she could hear the ruckus outside Paige's room and KK's rambunctious laugh.

She opened the door and was greeted by the chaos of her teammates.

Y/N winced when the pounding of her head hits again. She sat down on one of the bean bags and leaned her head back trying to ease the headache. In an instant, Paige handed her a bottle of water and a tylenol. She gave Paige what is this for ? look.

"Your hangover, duh."

"Ya'll our sleeping beauty is awake." KK sat beside her but she was waiving where Ice was. Ice was doing live on the corner, and she didn't realize that where she is is being captured. Gosh she looks horrible.

"Guys, they wanna know something. You remember we did a tiktok of who among in the team you don't want your kid to date..... They want the opposite."

Qadence was quick to shout "Aaliyah" followed by KK's "Y/N"

"Yeah, I'll go with Y/N too." Ice agreed

"Y/N will throw hands, I'll bet on her too." Aubrey added.

" 'bout you, Paige?"

The team groaned when Paige showed her "rizz hands."

"Will we go further? I'll let my kid date myself." The team erupted in disagreement. Nika throws a pillow towards Paige's direction. "Dream on Bueckers!" Y/N shakes her head too.

Paige is a gender bender, the amount of fans she has be it a boy or a girl is insane. She may look like a fuck-boy type but she'll be a good girlfriend, the question though is, can they take her superstar life?

"Y/N, they wanted to know who you want your kid to date." Ice turned towards her. Y/N straightened her back a little, enough only to face Ice.

"No one, you guys loves ball more than relationships." Everyone burst in laughter.

"You heard our homie? We're not playboys/playgirls, basketball is life." Ice said in live while giving a thumbs up.

"Nawww! she's just playing safe!" KK shouted.

" Y/N is so fine, I think I'll start watching live " Ice reading through comments.

Y/N suddenly felt conscious. She moved where the camera can't see her so she can deal with what's left of her hangover.

" Does Y/N have a boyfriend or what? Saw her in Stanford before and what the hell is she doing on the court, go model in a runway or something--- Yo! Someone said you should model Y/N!" KK is reading along with Ice now.

Y/N blushed on the compliment(?). She couldn't think of herself as someone who walks on a runway or pose for a magazine aside from playing ball. She's no Cameron Brink who could pass that criteria.

"Maaaaan, they are all whipped to our girly pop. We've been gatekeeping our secret weapon."

Some of her teammates joined KK and Ice in reading the comments.

"Y/N c'mere they want to see you."

Y/N doesn't want to be rude by not saying even a "hi" but she really feels shit right now. She look around the room and her eyes landed on Paige, begging for help.

"Y'all sorry but Miller is not feeling well, you'll get to see her in Gampel soon. Be sure to be there." Paige shouted while throwing an arm around Y/N's shoulder. They are both far from the camera, Y/N waived though from where they are.

"Thank God." Y/N muttered and leaned on Paige's shoulder and she felt her stiffened.

Ice wrapped up her live leaving disappointed viewers to only see a glimpse of Y/N. All of them went back to their chaotic self.

--------

A/N: Please stay tuned for the next part. I think I have a hangover too 🤮. Wrote this when we were at the bar. Feedbacks and suggestions are open.

ALSO..... DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHO DOES THE GIRLS HAIRS DURING THEIR GAMES? DO THEY HAVE A HAIRSTYLIST OR WHAT?? PLEASE HELP A GIRL OUT. 😌

#paige buckets #azzi fudd #paige bueckers #kk arnold #uconn wbb #uconn huskies #stanford cardinal #ncaa women’s basketball #aubrey griffin #aaliyah edwards #ice brady

[barcaatthemoon]

red || jenni hermoso x reader ||

you ask jenni to stop.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

it's not really smutty, but still.

jenni's hands were gripping your hips so tightly that you swore you could feel the bruises forming already. she had been rough with you all day, starting before the two of you had even gotten out of bed. then, it had been more of a playful rough housing. now, she was thrusting her hips into you as hard as she could to make sure that you could feel every inch of her.

it wasn't what you had expected whenever she had taken you back to the bedroom. you were no stranger to jenni's moods, but she wasn't usually this rough for no reason. jenni wasn't jealous, nobody had been around either one of you today. it had been a bit of a lazy day, with the exception of jenni trying to annoy you throughout the afternoon. if anything, you should have been the one to be a bit aggressive in bed.

and in a way, you had been. you had held jenni's head down in between your legs earlier. that wasn't enough to warrant jenni fucking you like this though. it was fairly indulgent, and usually, you'd be fine with that, but it didn't feel right.

"jenni, red. i'm red," you whined. it was quiet, just barely a whisper. you hated interrupting jenni whenever she was focused, but you couldn't take any more. a part of you had said it so quietly that you thought she wouldn't hear you, but jenni was pulling out of you and rolling you onto your back as quickly as she could.

"what's wrong?" jenni asked immediately. her eyes were wide with fear, and you immediately were engulfed in guilt. you hated making jenni feel bad, especially whenever you didn't even know what was wrong. "did i hurt you?"

"n-no, it's not that," you reassured her. jenni looked absolutely distraught as she mentally combed over every little thing she had done that day. you had been a bit snappy with her before dinner, but that wouldn't have caused this. jenni had apologized to you long before the two of you made your way back here.

"is there anything that i can get or do for you?" jenni asked you. she was gentle as she reached towards you. you let her hand come to rest on your arm. slowly, jenni began to pull you into her arms. you hummed happily at the feeling of her holding you. it was soft and nice in all the ways that you realized that you had been craving jenni.

"i'm sorry," you apologized. jenni pulled back a bit. there was a puzzled look on her face. her eyebrows were furrowed deeply as she pouted a little. it was something you usually would have teased her about, rubbing out the furrow as you joked about wrinkles. tonight, you didn't feel like joking, instead going straight for clarity. "i stopped us. i don't think i can keep going. i'm sorry, jenni."

"you have nothing to apologize for, my vida. i'm sorry for not paying better attention to you, okay?" jenni pulled back just enough to force you to look at her.

"but you wanted this. it's been so long," you whispered.

"you tell me to stop, and we stop. i don't care what's happening. all i care about is you. do you understand me?" jenni asked you. you nodded, having completely understood her words. whether or not you took them to heart was a completely different thing. "i need to hear you say it and mean it."

"you care about me. if i need to stop, it's okay to tell you. you won't be mad, because you care." it wasn't word for word, which jenni appreciated. the two of you had been working on properly communicating needs, something that jenni felt was testing her patience. she didn't understand how someone so lovely and caring could be so unkind to themselves.

"thank you. i love you," jenni muttered against your forehead as she pressed a kiss to it.

"i love you too," you told her. jenni was absolutely beaming at your words, and you didn't have to see her to know. the way that she shook you a little as she hugged you told you everything that you needed to know. "what now?"

"that, my dear, is up to you. what would you like to happen?" jenni asked you. you thought a lot about it before deciding on just laying back with her. jenni got out of bed and grabbed some clothes for the two of you. she fished through her side of the closet for a sweatshirt for you to sleep in, along with the softest pair of underwear that jenni could find. you happily accepted the boxer briefs, not commenting on jenni only grabbing a sports bra for herself.

"can you hold me please?" you knew not to be nervous, but it wasn't easy for you to ask for things. jenni smiled as she climbed into bed with you, clad in a black sports bra and a pair of grey joggers. you were pretty sure that the pants were yours since they were both a little loose and too short on jenni.

"of course. i'll always hold you. you don't even have to ask." jenni pressed a kiss to the top of your head as the two of you positioned yourselves comfortably. you laid with your head on jenni's chest and your leg thrown over her body. she was completely trapped between the bed and your body, covered by the comforter, just how she liked it. "good night, mi amor."

"night jenni," you hummed happily.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso smut #jenni #jenni hermoso smut #jenni hermoso imagine #jenni hermoso x reader #minors dni #minors do not interact

[justlemmeadoreyou]

Hii bestie!! Can i request a blurb idea?? Like H has a friend who is very flirty with H nd whenever reader said something about that girl H saying like no she just being friendly nd reader is really insecure nd H found out that girl is really mean to reader too, so he confront that girl nd then he console reader that she is only girl for him!! (So sorry for this long idea no pressure about writing this)

Nd I love all your lil stories ahh I'm obsessed!💗

noo lovie don't apologize! thank you for sending this in!

nothing but you

words: 1.4k+

warnings: mentions of jealousy, insecurities, cursing, crying, kissing. some inappropriate behaviour.

♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡

"Mmm, you look so good today, Harry," Emma purred, letting her hand trail down Harry's arm as he walked into class.

Y/N frowned from her seat across the room, watching the shamelessly flirtatious interaction between her boyfriend and his friend. Emma was constantly touching Harry or making suggestive comments, and it made Y/N's insides twist with jealousy and insecurity.

"Thanks, I guess?" Harry said awkwardly, gently removing Emma's hand from his arm as he took his seat next to Y/N. He leaned over to give his girlfriend a quick peck on the cheek. "Morning, babe."

Emma rolled her eyes dramatically at the affectionate gesture. "Oh please, get a room you two," she commented with a fake gag.

Y/N felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment and irritation. She reached under her desk to give Harry's hand a squeeze, needing the reassuring contact.

After class, Emma sidled up to Harry as they walked down the hallway together. "So Harry, I was thinking we could go over that English lit homework tonight? Maybe grab a bite to eat too, make a nice study night of it?"

She fluttered her eyelashes at him coyly. Y/N felt a flare of jealousy in her chest as she walked slightly behind them. She knew Emma's "study nights" with Harry were really just thinly veiled attempts to monopolize his time and flirt relentlessly.

"Oh um, I can't tonight actually. Y/N and I had plans," Harry replied, gesturing to Y/N hovering nearby. He draped his arm casually around her shoulders, pulling her in close.

Emma's perfectly plucked eyebrows raised skeptically. "You two seem to have an awful lot of 'plans' lately. Hmm, well let me know when you have a free night for your friend Emma again, 'kay Harry?" She blew him an air kiss before sashaying off down the hallway.

Y/N scowled after her retreating figure as Harry pressed a kiss to her hair. "Don't let her get to you, babe. You know I only have eyes for you."

"I know, I know," Y/N sighed, leaning into his side. "I just can't stand how disrespectful she is towards our relationship. She flirts with you constantly, even right in front of me!"

Harry frowned, hating to see her so upset and insecure. "Hey, you're right, that's not cool of her at all. Let me talk to Emma and set her straight, make it clear her behavior is out of line."

Y/N managed a small smile at that, feeling a little better that Harry was taking her concerns seriously. "Okay, thanks love. I don't like making things awkward or uncomfortable, but that girl just has no boundaries."

Over the next few days, Y/N tried her best to brush off Emma's suggestive comments and blatant flirting whenever she was around Harry. She trusted that Harry was loyal and committed to her. But it was still hard not to feel a prickle of jealousy and hurt whenever Emma ran a hand through Harry's hair or giggled over-dramatically at his jokes.

Things came to a head one day at lunch when Emma plopped herself down on Harry's lap in the middle of the cafeteria, throwing her arms around his neck.

"You're just so strong and cuddly, Harry. Don't you two make the cutest couple?" she said with a saccharine smile, shooting Y/N a smug look.

Harry looked bewildered and vaguely uncomfortable as he gently tried to disentangle Emma's limbs from around him. "Uh Emma, what are you doing? You know I'm dating Y/N…"

"Oh don't be like that, silly! I'm just being a friendly, affectionate pal," Emma insisted with a giggle, snuggling even closer.

Y/N had had enough. She stood up abruptly, slamming her hand down on the table as tears burned in her eyes. "That's it! You need to stop with this inappropriate, gross behavior right now Emma! Can't you see how awful and disrespectful you're being?"

Harry's eyes widened in surprise at Y/N's outburst, her hurt and jealousy finally bubbling over. Emma at least had the decency to look vaguely sheepish as she reluctantly slid off Harry's lap.

"Woah, okay sorry…didn't realize I was making you so upset Y/N. I was just messing around," Emma said with an exaggerated pout.

"No, you weren't just messing around! You're always all over my boyfriend, making comments, touching him without any boundaries! It's humiliating and awful, and you need to stop right now," Y/N said fiercely, angry tears spilling down her cheeks.

She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the cafeteria, needing to get away before she completely lost it in front of everyone. Harry watched her go with a pained expression before turning to Emma with barely concealed fury.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Emma? Did you really think it was okay to continuously disrespect my relationship like that? Y/N is my girlfriend - the love of my life! And you've just been relentlessly trying to make her jealous and upset this whole time?"

Emma at least had the decency to look slightly abashed, though she quickly tried to cover it with a nonchalant shrug.

"Oh come on Harry, we were just having a bit of fun! You know I'm an affectionate person, no need to read into it so much."

"Fun? Fun?!" Harry sputtered incredulously. "You've been purposely trying to make the girl I love feel horrible about herself, all because you can't handle the fact that I'm not interested in you like that!"

He shook his head in angry disbelief, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "You know what, I think we both need to just cool off right now before I say something I might regret. But you seriously need to reevaluate how you've been acting before I'm willing to even try being your friend again."

With that, Harry stood up and hurried out of the cafeteria to go find Y/N, leaving Emma looking uncharacteristically flustered behind him.

It took a bit of searching, but Harry finally found Y/N tucked away in a quiet corner of the library, trying to hide the fact that she'd been crying. He felt like a total jerk for letting Emma's behavior go on for so long without calling her out on how much it was hurting Y/N.

"Y/N? Oh babe, hey…" Harry said softly, crouching down next to where she was curled up. He gently brushed away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs, cradling her face in his hands.

"I am so, so sorry for letting Emma treat you like that," he said, staring into her eyes intently. "It was inappropriate as hell, and you were right to call her out. I should've shut that shit down ages ago instead of brushing it off as harmless flirting."

Y/N gave a small sniffle, leaning into his warm touch as she stared back at him with shimmering eyes. "I-It's okay, it's not your fault. I know you'd never cheat or purposely hurt me. It's Emma who has the problem, not you."

"Still," Harry insisted, brushing his lips across her forehead. "I hate that I made you feel so insecure or like I wasn't a hundred percent committed to you. The truth is, you're the love of my life, Y/N. My soulmate. I never want to be with anyone else, ever."

Y/N felt her breath catch in her throat at his earnest declaration. She searched his eyes, finding nothing but absolute sincerity reflected back at her. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"Yeah? The love of your life, huh?" she teased lightly, feeling some of the tension easing out of her body.

Harry grinned crookedly at her, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against hers. "Mmhmm, without a single doubt in my mind. And don't you ever let Emma or anyone else make you question how special and amazing you are to me."

He kissed her then, slow and deep, putting every ounce of his feelings into the embrace of his lips on hers. When they finally pulled apart, Y/N felt slightly dazed and giddy, all her previous hurt and anger towards Emma momentarily forgotten.

"I love you so much, Harry," she whispered, resting her forehead against his.

"And I love you," Harry murmured fervently. "More than you'll ever know, my gorgeous girl."

♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡

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[scorpioriesling]

Ideal Mate + Ideal Date HC

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Reader x Rhysand / Cassian / Azriel / Lucien / Eris / Tamlin

Warnings: fluff, some light allusions to smut and brief suggestive scenes, light swearing

Summary: Headcannons/drabbles for (my idea!) what the "ideal" mate for each character is, with an ideal date for the two of them as well.

SR’s Note: Just another little idea I had, pls don't hate on me <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Rhysand

You would have to catch his eye because you're "different" in some way from other females

Whether it is because you are human, you are creative, you are undeniably brave and don't care who sees it... he is enraptured by you

All of these things intimidate him a little bit, which is why he has to learn about you from afar first before he can finally meet you

He is so nervous when he finally introduces himself, but unashamedly peers inside your head to see if you're even the least bit intrigued in him as he is by you

He's glad he did, and had nothing to worry about; you've fallen at first sight

He makes a point to learn things you like; he has tried to teach himself how to paint, but gets frustrated that it is one of the only things he can't master

He already asked you for an evening by the sidra to paint and have a picnic; too early, though as now he is realizing he is no good at the skill you excel in

"I just want you to know, painting isn't something I'm very talented in doing..."

You get butterflies realizing the most powerful and dangerous High Lord could be so nervous on a first date with a human female

"Allow me to help you, then."

He melts when your fingers hold his on the brush, only using one canvas as you paint a picture together instead of two separate ones

He can barely focus, your jasmine scent so close as you sit side by side on the soft grass by the river in the moonlight. He's not even focusing on the painting, but on your side profile instead, so intrigued in your work, the way your brows furrow in concentration

The moonlight illuminates the soft freckles on your nose; he wants to lean in and kiss each one of them

"No wonder you do not paint very well; you don't seem to have a strong sense of focus," you smirk

Cassian

He didn't want to like you when he met you, but somehow... he couldn't help himself

Your icy stare, the way you carried yourself, your strong sense of independence... you made it clear you didn't want any man

But he wanted you

At first he didn't know how to act around you, usually the fae he took interest in were kind and welcoming... but you had a bite that would send every male in Prythian screaming. He wasn't sure how to make you like him

He tried kindness; he earned a scowl. He tried buying you things; another sour look. He even tried inviting you to things, so you'd feel less isolated; all that got him was rejection, every time. Finally, he'd had enough

"What is it with you? Why won't you let anyone in? I get it, your family sucks, but-"

"Oh, please. You know nothing about me or my family." You'd spat

"Yeah! You're right, I don't," he heaves. "I don't... you don't tell me. You don't let a single person in. You don't talk to me, or tell me anything, or," he huffs a laugh. "Gods, I mean. You wouldn't step back and realize that someone cares so much for you, or see that I've just been trying to get you to love me back all along!" He'd throw his hands in the air, and they'd fall to his sides

You stand there, frozen in shock. You really could not believe what you were hearing, coming from Cassian, of all people

One minute, you're contemplating how to go about all this. Then, the next minute, you're not thinking at all

You're closing the distance, two steps at a time, throwing your arms around his neck and crashing your lips onto his. His large hands grasp your waist, holding you tight to him

You pull away and stare up into his wide, hazel eyes, boring into yours in utter disbelief

"Y/N... I can't do this if you're not serious about-"

"Take me out then. I'll show you just how serious I can be." His chest rises and falls, and he just shakes his head and lets out a suprised chuckle

"You'd really go out with me?" He asks, playfully. You roll your eyes in response, your usual irritation returning to your face

"Rita's in 30." You pull away from him and saunter off toward your room in the House of Wind, feeling his gaze on your swaying hips. You were already planning out a rather scandalous outfit for tonight, involving a tiny red dress hanging in your closet...

"You better stop staring at my ass, Cassie, or I might just change my mind." You call over your shoulder. He prectically clutches his chest with his hand

You were going to be the death of him

Azriel

Hear me out -- Azzie is attracted to someone who is originally viewed as very naive and harmless, but has a confident and brave side as well

He would see you from afar, wearing a pretty dress, a big bow in your hair while you walk along the streets in Velaris with your friends

Your smile has this man blushing!! and he doesn't even know you yet, but he knows he must have you

"You okay man?" Cassian asks, and Azriel cooly plays it off as being too hot in the mid-day sun. Cassian just gives a confused "whatever", but Rhysand says nothing as he knows exactly what is happening here

"I need a drink, and since Azriel is so warm," Rhysand side eyes his friend, smirking. Azriel immediately starts sweating. He knows Rhys is up to something, and Azriel has been casually observing you the whole morning that he's been in Velaris. You'd just gone into the small coffee shop, the one adorned with peonies outside; one Rhys was guiding the group of bat boys closer to. "...why don't we stop in here for some refreshments?"

He thinks his heart is going to fall out of his ass right now. He couldn't go in there -- you were already in there, and he was in no position to be talking to you right now

"Rhys, I uh, I don't know if I want coffee right now," he stutters quietly. Rhys chuckles, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Cassian looks between the two, still confused

"Ohhhhh Az," he sighs. "I'm sure they have water in there, and I am rather thirsty myself. Say, Cassian looks parched too -- why don't you go in and get us three waters, hmm?" Rhysand asks. Azriel glares at Rhys

"I know. What. You're doing." He says, voice clipped. Cassian scrunches his face behind the two of them.

"I mean, I'll go in and get 'em, I am kinda hot now that you mentioned the sun-" Cassian starts. Rhys puts a hand up, stopping his Illyrian friend and shaking his head. A wicked smile plays on his lips.

"No no, Azriel said he would go. We'll just wait outside..." He slinks over to a small table, and Cassian plops down in a chair, seeming to ask Rhys what was going on. The High Lord only stares between Azriel and the front door, silently ushering him to go inside. Azriel growls, forcing one foot in front of the other before he is finally opening the door and entering the small shop

The scent of roasting coffee beans and vanilla cream wafts through the air, the smell intoxicaitng and fresh. It only takes Azriel a moment to spot you, the blue and ivory sundress hugging you stunningly and the cream bow a stark contrast against your rich, flowing hair. He glances toward the window, and meets the eyes of both Rhysand and Cassian. Cassian gives him a cheesy thumbs up, and Azriel rolls his eyes as he heads towards the front counter. You're at the other end, waiting on your order

"Hi! How may I help you?" The cheery older woman behind the counter greets him. He can barely focus on anything, let alone the fae in front of him engaging in conversation when you're closer than you've been all day to him

"Three waters..." he says. The older lady follows his line of sight, a small smile pulling at her lips as she begins to chuckle

"I'll have those right out for you," hes still staring, and she shakes her head, continuing to smile at him. "Her name is Y/N."

This snaps him out of his daze. He looks to the cashier once more. "Y/N?" He repreats. The name has never sounded so lovely. Maybe it wouldn't have, but now he knows it belongs to you. The woman nods her head

"Yes, Shadowsinger." His lips part, but no words come out. "And, she is here every day around lunch time. Unwed. So... I'd suggest you go over there and do something about that, hmm?" Azriel can't hide the heat on his cheeks as the woman winks at him, turning to get working on a few orders. That was his turn to walk away, walk over to you...

As he approaches your side in the waiting area, his breath quickens. He can't help but notice you're alone, your friends have gone outside and oh-so-conveniently struck up a conversation with his two brothers.

Bastards.

"I don't think I've ever waited this long for a drink from here in my life," you say quietly, chuckling at the end. He only blinks, not sure if what he was hearing was true. Were you really speaking to him?

He turns to you, only to find you already gazing up at him. He can't help but smile, revealing his perfect teeth as he fumbles for what to say back

"Do you, come here? Often?" He asks. He already knew the answer, but...

"Almost every day!" You beam. "And you?"

He shakes his head. "First time in."

You nod slowly. "Oh... my. Well, I hope you've tried something delicious for your first experience." You grace him with another small grin, and he feels like he might melt at the sight. He hadn't realized how close you'd stepped, or maybe he had? Only mere inches separated-

"Three waters!" The cashier calls, setting down the three glasses in front of Azriel. His cheeks heat as he stares at them, the wide-eyed expression from his new crush not going unnoticed. It isn't long before the most lovely sound is filling his ears though.

You were giggling beside him.

"Oh... my..." you say between breaths. Azriel sighs, leaving the three cups on the counter and facing you. He can't help but let loose a chuckle himself, and your cheeks redden at the sight of him

"Well, it seems I'll need to come back and actually try something next time..." He says. You continue to giggle, trying hard to calm down and peer down at the floor, shaking your head.

"Hey, I've got a lot of great suggestions, but..." the cashier silently sets down your drink in front of you, and you pick it up. "...plain water maybe isn't one of them." You grin. Azriel grabs his water, taking a long swig and you wished that perhaps it was you on his lips instead-

You turned to walk toward the door, your new companion keeping up with you and holding the door open for you to exit. You open your mouth to thank him, but he beats you to it

"Maybe you can show me what you'd suggest? Next time?" Your wide eyes gaze up at him, his hazel ones squinting in the midday sun. The breeze lightly brushes his black hair across his tanned forehead, and you try really hard to supress the grin spreading across your face

"I'd meet you here tomorrow, but;" you hesitate. "Well, uh, I have ring training tomorrow at this time... but maybe the day following?" You look at him sheepishly. He looks as if he is ready to fall to his knees in front of you

"I'll be here, the day following." You rise on your tippy toes, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before skipping off to meet your friends. His eyes trail after you, his cheek tingling from where your lips made contact. He doesn’t register his brothers rising from the table and approaching him

“So uh… where are our drinks, Az?”

Lucien

Classic, but Lucie is going to fall for someone (kind of like Az) who is very soft and kind but can also hold her own

He is also going to rizz the shit out of you... but I feel like that is already a given

I feel like he would actually meet you in the Day Court when he's there on an assignment, and you'd be one of Helion's advisor's daughters and he would immediately be drawn to you

The gold and white dress and accessories you'd appeared in... oh he's down bad

He saw you at first in a group setting, not really being able to keep his eyes off of you but then later he spotted you near a pond of sunlight and couldn't walk away

He was walking closer, and noticed you actually weren't alone but were actually comforting a small child who appeared upset near the pool's edge. The boy stood, peering down at you on your knees as you ran your thumbs across his cheeks. Lucien leaned against a nearby tree, not wanting to interrupt, but also so intrigued by the scene in front of him

"There is no need to worry, sweetheart," your tender words pulled at something deep in Lucien's chest, though you weren't speaking to him at all. The little one sniffled and nodded, staring deep into your eyes. "I know it is frightening when we are lost, but look," you give the boy an award winning smile and Lucien feels like his heart is singing for you already. "...I've found you, and you're safe here! You know?" You say. He reaches out his little arms and braces them around your neck, hands tangling in your cascade of curls. You pull him in close, not letting go until he does

You take his precious fingers in yours, and he walks closely beside you as you make your way back to the palace. "Now, let's go find your mommy, okay honey?"

Lucien swears he could cry, hes never seen anyone so kind and gentle. He couldn't imagine having someone like that to love, and made the decision then that he would be introducing himself to you later that evening, properly

And when he does... ohhhh he charms you. It wasn't hard for you to fall for Lucien as quickly as he fell for you; he practically screamed "husband material"

He'd taken you on many dates, but the one that was the most special was when he brought you to a waterfall on horseback, just before sunset. He tied your shared horse to a tree, and led you to a small alcove where a small picnic was pre-set, the sunset streaming through the falling water just right (thank you, Helion). Apple pie, roasted turkey, and autumnal wine adorned the small blanket, as well as a little golden box in the middle. Your hand flew to your mouth

"I know the sunset and these falls make you who you are in the Day Court," Lucien says sheepishly as he guides you to the spread. You take your seats and he doesn't let go of your hand. "I wanted to show you a little bit of what makes me who I am too..." he trails off. You can't help the silver lining your eyes as you take in the scene around you

"Autumn and Day... who would've thought." You smile at him, and he reaches for the box. Opening it, he pulls out a thin golden necklace with a sun symbol on it.

"I love you to great lengths, Y/N," You only then notice as he is unclasping it that he already adorns one of the same around his neck.

"I don't want to leave you, or this place anymore," he says, reaching behind your neck to fasten the clasp. He breathes in your hibiscus scent, and his fingers trail down the side of your cheek. You can't help but let a tear slip free, realizing you'd never have to say goodbye again

"I won't ever leave you, or this court, again."

Eris

You caught the attention of Eris because you were plain

Literally

Eris was so excited (but, confused?) because he'd never genuinely loved a female beyond his sexual encounters, then he'd met you and you'd absolutely ruined everyone else for him

You were overlooked by everyone, which made you feel horrible most of your life, but Eris treated you like a queen, and he appreciated your simplicity and liked how uncomplicated you were

You were not even High Fae; which didn't go over well with Beron, but Eris didn't care. You made him feral. He'd kill his own father for you if it meant spending the rest of eternity with you.

His father was always trying to marry him off with other High Fae or noble females, but they were always too much to handle or too bratty and stuck up to Eris

He also didn't appreciate his father telling him who he would be allowed to chose and who he couldn't

But boy oh boy, did he choose you

He liked to keep your outings private, so no one would be able to swoop in and ruin the time you had together

But, that did not stop him from going all out for you and giving you all of the things you did not get to indulge in

He definately used his status to his advantage...

Your favorite date to go on -- a repeat date, as it was a shared favorite -- was to the orchard. Eris would spoil you by taking you shopping the day prior (you'd almost always choose a crimson or maroon sundress with matching flats) for a new outfit, and you'd wear said outfit the next day

You'd always wear one of his rings, though the two of you were not yet properly mated, and the sight of it made him weakkkkk I am telling you weak

He'd reserve the orchard for the day, and the two of you would ride on the wagon, share warm cider, and walk along the treelines as you both did when you were just young children

Obviously there would be apple picking, and he'd purposefully wander near a tree with ones dangling higher than you could grasp

"Eris, I can't-" you huff, stretching an arm up and dancing on your tip toes in search of the hanging fruit on a branch out of your reach. His eyes would wander, taking in your bare legs as your short dress rode up higher on your thighs-

Ughhhhh, this is not the place, Eris

"Allow me, my love." He would bend down, hiking you up on his shoulder and standing at his full height, arm bent and wrapped around your knees as you sat atop his shoulderblade. You'd wobble a bit, but, now you could reach the Honeycrisp you'd been going for.

Reaching toward branch, you grab on and yank. Seeing it glimmering in the warm September sun, you can't help but to bite into it, a satisfying crunch as a tiny drop of juice trails from the corner of your lips. A satisfied "hmmm" escapes your throat as you close your eyes, but the male beneath you catches on to what you're doing

"Heyyy," Eris slides you off his shoulder, hands firmly gripping your hips and gently setting you on your feet. Your spun around to face him, and he smirks down at you. Your now wide eyes stare into his amber ones as he leans in, licking the drop near your mouth and then leaning in close to your ear

His breath was warm on your neck, and a shiver ran down your spine as goosebumps appeared on your arms. His warm hands trailed up and down your upper arms, his voice low and husky. "These are for picking -- I thought we could eat... later..."

Tamlin

So... stay with me here on this one. Tam Tam is getting a mate that has a power dynamic that is going to absolutely match his okay

Whatever energy you give me, I'm matching it... that is the dynamic that this duo is giving here

Also... I feel like after Feyre, he would pull a complete 180 and be with someone who would put him in his place from the very beginning

His previous relationship really messed him up, but after he healed from that... he absolutely changed for the better I feel like. I think he would be with someone who would keep him in check, remind him when he's acting out, and almost maybe scare him a little? Kind of like Cassian and his ideal mate lol

Except... his ideal girlie would also be maybe just a tad unhinged

Just like him

It's alright... we love to see it

Anyways

His mate would be very modernly beautiful, I feel like; what comes to mind when you think of "society's beautiful". Not fake, however. Just very blessed, and just born this way -- lucky her! Lol

This, of course, caught Tamlin and the entirety of the Spring Court's eye

He was not very intimidated by his ideal mate, at first, but when he got to know you a little bit better, he wanted to do everything right and not screw anything up like last time

If he did mess up, or do things that were genuinely wrong or out of line... oh did he hear about it. You definitely kept him in check

Yet, another reason the Spring Court loved you

He did get easily jealous of other males, High Fae and lesser faeries alike for looking at you too long, talking to you, and fawning over you of course

Who wouldn't?

He'd wrap his arm around you a little tighter when in public, or kiss you literally right on the mouth in the middle of the square if people were staring at you for longer than he'd like

But, you honestly didn't care. You reveled in it, the attention you got from others, which in turn, drove him wild and would lead to his posessiveness of you taking over-

Phew... yeah uhm

Dating... he wouldn't even bother making dates private. He liked showing you off, even though other guys looking at you made him nuts

You liked public dates, because you liked to be shown off, and again, his posessiveness was so sexy and would usually lead to a great time (in PRIVATE, of course) once the nice lil date was over

You'd make it even better by wearing something fun for him when he'd take you out. Let's say... dinner, for example

You'd start sitting across the booth from each other, both recieving polite hello's and compliments from every faerie who passed your table. You'd of course return them; one thing he'd picked up from you was your politeness and manners

After a little while of spending time together and him gazing into your eyes, he'd seem a little... distracted... and slip into the same side of the booth with you instead, just to be closer to you

It didn't really help his case, but he really liked the smell of wildflower and honey that seemed to radiate from you

He'd have one arm around your shoulders, tracing small circles on your skin with his finger and you’d giggle because it tickled

But it also distracted you from his other hand slowly tracing up your thigh...

...and under your short, oh so short skirt...

Finally, you'd caught onto what he was doing and sat up straight, the corset top you'd expertly paired with this outfit for this reason alone doing you justice as his gaze flicked down to where it curved low below your collarbone. A soft growl graced the shell of your ear, and you only chuckled as his hot breath tickled the side of your neck

"You didn't put anything on under this... did you?"

#a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #acofas #acosf #acotar #acotar smut #lucien acotar #lucien vanserra #lucien x reader #a court of frost and starlight #azriel smut #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #azriel #cassian #cassian smut #high lord rhysand #rhysand #rhys acotar #tamlin #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris vandaddy #eris x reader #eris x you

[transmascaraa]

hi its 🍓 anon, can I request comfort with Gaming, Bennett, Scaramouche, Cyno, and Tighnari?

I accidentally hurt my cat's leg maybe like 20 minutes ago from when this is in your inbox but I've honestly just been crying and curling up on the ground where she's laying underneath my desk. I feel awful even though it's an accident ☹️

I'm hoping she's okay and it's not bad but I'm scared I permanently gave her a limp or that she will hate me and no longer want to be around me anymore

multiple characters headcannons!

you accidentally hurt your pet.

characters: gaming, bennett, wanderer, cyno, tighnari x gn!reader

author's note: hi 🍓anon i'm sorry i'm doing this req so late but writer's block is there for some reason🤷‍♂️ I HOPE YOUR CAT IS OKAY NOW THO AND THAT SHE STILL LOVES YOU IK HOW IT IS😭 anyways i decided to write this cuz i was bored lmfao enjoyyyy🔥🔥

♡ Gaming

-definetly gets worried after he sees you on the ground crying like that.

-"no... my love, what's wrong? you can talk to me, okay?"

-all while the pet was in the corner of the room, unphased.

-if left the room soon enough, but that was unnoticed by gaming.

-after you did your best at explaining the situation to him, he understood what you meant.

-a bit confused as to why were you thag worried about it, but he reassured you that your pet was fine and that they most probably forgive you.

-he's going to cuddle the pet with you to help you "apologize" to it.

-with gaming there, your pet will forget about what happened and just cuddle with the two of you there like nothing ever happened<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⑅ Bennett

-now, he's hurt a fair share of animals in his life due to his unluckiness.

-and he always feels really bad for them afterwards, so he would understand after you vent to him about it.

-"hmm... yeah... i get it.."

-but him, knowing that you're not as unlucky as he is, he reassures you that your pet is okay and still loves you.

-he'll prove it to you too.

-but first he would first make you take your mind off of it for a bit.

-and then feed the pet together as some parents to their 3yo child.

-now, speaking of him proving it to you, he'll just let you pet it and let it slowly lean into your gentle caressing of it.

-the only time he was lucky in his life was when he got to be with you.

-you just looked to precious being happy that your pet has forgiven you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Wanderer

-he just doesn't get it.

-why the hell are you rolling on the floor, crying, because you THINK you hurt your pet?

-"but are you sure you've actually hurt it? y'know, if you actually did, then its anger is justified-"

-until you started crying more.

-"b-but you probably didn't. so don't worry. you'll be fine, just like that like creature you call your pet."

-i mean you stopped crying so it was something????

-you'll have to beg him to cuddle you w your pet but eventually you'll convince him.

-the funny part was the fact that the pet was just more fond of wanderer, rather than you, despite forgiving you for anything and everything.

-for some unknown reasons, all animals like him, really.

-(if your pet is an aranara in some type of this teyvat au then it's even cuter)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

๑ Cyno

-he doesn't react much, really.

-not like alhaitham, but just more of his canon personality when he's not making dad jokes.

-i mean if anything, he's confused, but yeah.

-he just stares you on the floor.

-"what happened?"

-in the most monotone voice ever.

-and then after he understands why you're doing all of that, he shows a bit more of emotion.

-hardly spotted, but it's there.

-"well... i know something that can improve your mood. what do you call a-"

-you just give him a death stare. he doesn't continue speaking from there.

-afterwards, you'll feel the little cutie together and see that it's totally fine!

-you will get to hear the joke he was meaning to say sometime later, now he just doesn't wanna irritate you, he feels as if you need happiness now, not his dumb dad jokes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿⁠ Tighnari

-he genuinely gets worried.

-but worried in a mom way.

-"you're crying because of something you THINK? are you hearing yourself right now?"

-he's sassy, even when genuinely concerned.

-now, after telling you to take a few deep breaths, calm down, and drink a glass of water, he sits you down and lets you explain everything in great detail.

-then he brings the pet to the both of you, while he checks the pet for any scars, but they fortunately aren't there!

-you get incredibly happy and hug both tighnari and the pet, but he still doesn't understand if ut was worth the crying on the floor.

-your pet literally still loved you.

-but at least he was happy to help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay i think this wasn't that bad

i really like cyno's and tighnari's tho

but this was fun to write overall tbh lol

| 🍓anon | @mariaace <3

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin fluff #gaming x reader #gaming x you #tighnari x you #tighnari x reader #bennett x reader #bennett x you #cyno x reader #cyno x you #wanderer x you #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin comfort #genshin impact comfort #gaming comfort #wanderer comfort #scaramouche comfort #cyno comfort #tighnari comfort #bennett comfort

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for filming parts of concerts? I love going to see live music whenever I can, and before recently, I was very much of the opinion that there was no point in filming the songs you're listening to because they wont be worth listening back to anyway bc the quality will be so bad, so you're just wasting your time not enjoying the music when thats what you paid so much money to go there to do! But now I have a better phone that actually does manage to capture the moment pretty well, I really like recording sections of songs to listen and watch back later on. I post them on my private instagram, but they are really just for me. It's really nice to be able to go back and not just remember that moment that you were there better, but also feel the energy of the crowd and stuff like that and relive it just for a moment, and any time I haven't captured part of a concert I've been to I've regretted it later on.

Thing is, I also agree that there is literally nothing worse than standing in a crowd and not even being able to see the damn stage because all you can see is phone screens! It's really disruptive and takes you out of the experience. So I try and strike a healthy balance with it. I only record like, one chorus, maybe at /most/ a minute of the song (but even then I feel cheeky), and I do not do it for every song, like maybe 3/4 out of the set list, just my favourites or the most popular ones. I dont want to be standing there recording the whole song anyway, I have moshing and jumping and ugly scream singing to be done that can't be done when I'm recording.

But I do wonder if even recording this much makes me a horrible hypocrite and an asshole full stop. Like I said, those people who stand there recording the whole concert start to finish literally make me want to tear my eyes out (i've stood behind people like this before and spent the whole concert trying to dodge around their phone screen). The last concert I went to, I was recording the opening section (along w/ many many others) and some guy behind me screamed at everyone to put down their phones and I had a bit of a come to jesus moment bc I'd literally done /exactly that/ a few concerts ago and it made me wonder. Honestly even if I am an asshole for this, I probably wont stop :') . But I at least will accept that I am a little bit of the very person I hate. So is life.

So AITA for recording small parts of concerts to watch back later on?

#aita #am i the asshole

[melbatron5000]

Heartache

Since I put up my theories that Crowley and Aziraphale faked the break up in the Final Fifteen, I've had a LOT of people comment, "Then why are they so sad?"

LISTEN.

Imagine you and the person you love most in the world have to keep your relationship secret. Because no one would approve of it, and one or the other of you could be hurt or killed or imprisoned over it. So you keep it casual, and have to pretend you're not even friends.

Then you get a chance to change everything. You get a chance to save the world, and maybe have that relationship you both want so badly together. You even plan your proposal. You throw a big party and make it as romantic as you know how.

Then your party gets crashed by people who hate you.

And then an authority -- one that has the power to make both your lives horrible and maybe end them -- comes sniffing around. He's figured out you're up to something, and that you've teamed up, and been teamed up for a while. He maybe suspects you're more than friends, when even friends is something you are not allowed to be. He essentially black mails you into coming back with him, to what essentially amounts to prison, though he offers that your love can come with you. You'll both be in prison, and maybe not be able to save the world, but you'll be together, and safe.

You tell the person you love most in the world what's going on, that your plan has been uncovered, and beg him to come with so he will be safe. And your beloved says, "No, I'm not going, I want to fight for this. I want to fight for you, and for us. I want to save the world. We need to pretend to break up so I can keep working on our plan. You do what you can from inside prison, and I'll do my best from here, and let's try for this. For us." And then he breaks your heart and forces you to reject him. While your enemy watches and waits to take you to prison. And he doesn't let you leave without kissing you first. He gives you something while he kisses you that he hopes will help you. And then he goes.

Imagine your beloved tells you an authority has come sniffing around -- he suspects you're up to something and wants to haul you both to prison. Your beloved has no choice, he absolutely is going to prison, right now, but he wants you to come with him. You want to fight, you want to be free with your beloved and you want to save the world. So you tell him you have to fake a break up in order that one of you can stay free and hopefully make it work. And then you break his heart, and force him to reject you, while your enemy watches and waits to take him to prison. And you do not let him leave without kissing him first. You give him something while you kiss him that you hope will help him. And then you leave.

If you could do that while feeling nothing, totally confident that you're still a couple and everything is actually fine, you've got a different head than me. I wouldn't be okay, watching my husband get taken to prison for the crime of being in love with me. I certainly wouldn't be okay pretending not to care, or like we never meant much to each other after all.

The break up is fake. That doesn't mean any of those emotions are.

It actually makes it worse, in my opinion.

If Aziraphale had actually chosen Heaven over Crowley, Aziraphale would be sad, but not miserable. But he hasn't. He's going to prison without the one person he most wants to protect and be with. And he has no guarantee that Crowley will be safe, or that they will ever see each other again. He must be devastated.

If Aziraphale had chosen Heaven over Crowley, Crowley would have every right to be hurt and angry. But Aziraphale hasn't. He's being dragged to prison, where Crowley can't be with him and make sure he's okay, where Crowley knows he'll be treated badly, and Crowley's going to try to save the world, and if he succeeds, they can build that life together they've wanted for so long; but if he fails, they may never see each other again. He must be devastated.

Stop asking why they both look so sad if the break up is fake.

They are devastated.

#good omens #good omens 2 #crowley #aziraphale #good omens meta #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens analysis #good omens fan theory #the final fifteen #ineffable divorce #final fifteen #our poor husbands #it's so much more sad than it first seems

[stromuprisahat]

"I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream."

Siege and Storm- Chapter 15

Oh nein! Mal has issues! With consequences of his actions he should be grateful for, and his girl not sharing every waking thought with him, when her worst worries spring from his most hated topics- the Darkling and her role in politics.

And Alina once again feels responsible for his feelings.

Yeah, this would have a bit more weight, if Alina didn't do it only for appearances' sake. Or if she granted the position due to merit, not random pick of what she views as the lowest low. Or if she didn't continue speaking as if she were a narrator of wildlife documentary, describing a new species of animal that just appeared.

Not necessarily, but it's one of Alina's less far-fetched deductions.

Aleksander could've been aware of David's fascination with Morozova's work. He could've picked the most skilled in bonework or the one most experienced in forging amplifiers- they're supposed to be rare, so not many Fabricators will have that.

*mumbles* And somehow we're to believe this pragmatic man chose to follow Alina, because... ? She's the good one, or whatever?!

*chants* Double agent Kaminsky, double agent Kaminsky!

Alina: Why would you want to kill this man! How horrible! At least question him first!

She would make a delightful morally flexible character, if she were acknowledged as such, and embracing that quality.

Says who? Zoya?

He KeEpS mE So BuSy!

Saints, Alina, you can't believe everything people say about themselves!

Alina: I'm not sure my three months of training are enough, but I can do like two things with my powers, so let's focus on increasing them further AND on the mythical forbidden art that created my goal no. 1 in the first place. I bet nothing can go wrong...

Only signing? Not reading to get into picture? And who prepares them?!

Bureaucracy, baby!

Welcome to responsibility!

I would sympathize with Alina much more, if she showed genuine interest in those she doesn't know. If her motivation weren't merely "Do the opposite of (what I think) the Darkling did". I she truly believed in her own philosophy.

Shocking!

People forced to sit next to half-strangers they're not used to interact with, create unpleasant atmosphere!

My work experience considered- you're lucky there's no visible enmity- you could've made the wrong people sit next to each other and tableware could've ended up in wrong bodyparts.

Also: How is Nadia sitting next to Marie? I thought breaking up already existing friend groups was a point of this whole exercise.

They're not gifts, Nikolai. They're just your father's property, but let's remember the Darkling didn't wait for the Queen to request a specific one's service, and turned it into a gesture of his own thoughtfulness. Fuck his strategems!

Alina's misplaced sensibilities are incredibly frustrating.

She wants to lead Second Army, but not order them, not assign them tasks directly, because that would somehow make her a bad person, instead of efficient leader.

What if no one will volunteer? What if weak, incompetent Squallers will? You don't look at special assignment and think- Yeah, whoever wants to do it... You PICK the most capable person with both sufficient skills AND suitable personality.

Awwww!

Poor granny deserves an Oscar!

#Grishaverse #S&S Chapter 15 #Alina Starkov #Second pseudoArmy #grishanalyticritical #Malyen Oretsev #Fedyor Kaminsky #Nikolai Lantsov #Baghra Morozova #self centred and paranoid #Siege and Storm #Grisha trilogy #V #books #quotes #Leigh Bardugo #anti Mal #anti Malina #anti Baghra

[pandorasflora]

What was I made for? - Chapter 1

Summary: When Neytiri ends up mating with Tsu'tey before the war, it leaves Jake heartbroken. Unable to handle the new role of Olo'eyktan, Mo'at arranges (forces) Jake to mate with her youngest daughter...You.

Pairing: Jake Sully x Neytiri's sister!Reader

Warnings: forced/ arranged marriage, one-sided enemies to lovers, Jake is kinda mean, reader is a softy, reader is left feeling like a second choice, she tries to act/ look like neytiri, angsty but it will be fluffy cuz i'm not a criminal, let me know if there's anymore.

“Mama-You cannot ask me of this!” You cry, throwing your arms out and begging for your mother to reconsider. 

“You will do great as Tsahik, it is Eywa’s will.” She states calmly.

“He will not love me, Mother. He loves Neytiri…” You murmur, looking down at your feet.

“He will grow to love you. That is how me and your father began.”

“He will not see me.” You whimper, tears forming in your eyes. 

“Do you see him?” Nothing is said for a few moments…Is it really that obvious?

“I am giving up my happiness to serve him…Why must I mate in a loveless union?”

“Our clan is in desperate need for a new Tsahik and I am not getting any younger. Believe in yourself, daughter.” She takes your hand in hers and rubs it soothingly. She understands your worries, she was in your place years ago.

“But what about me? What about my feelings?” You plead

“You will begin to learn that leading a clan has its sacrifices…” She pulls you into a hug, tucking your head under her chin, rubbing her hands up and down your back softly.

“Jake Sully, this is my daughter-”

“Is this going to take long? I have a meeting.” He and Mo’at both know there isn’t a meeting but you don’t. He’s willing to take that risk. She pauses. 

“I was hoping you two would get to know each other, you are to be mated in 3 days.”

Jake curses under his breath, rubbing his face in frustration. 

“Later, alright?” He mutters, already turning to leave.

“I can come to your kelku later?...If you would like-” You start. You’re willing to give this a try and make it work. 

“M’busy!” 

You watch in silence as he walks the way to Neytiri’s home.

After spending the day preparing for your mating ceremony, you decide to drop off some food for Jake, like a little courting gift, as well as a bracelet. You’ve never done this before and it makes you feel all giddy and gooey inside. 

You walk the way to his home before knocking on the side of the door. No answer…You peak your head through the flap and see the kelku is empty, oh well. He’s just not home.

You decide to walk back to your own home that you share with your mother and that's when you see them. Jake and Neytiri giggling a little too close.

You have no right to be jealous. You only found out you were to be his mate this morning, and Neytiri doesn’t even like Jake that way. She grew to love Tsu’tey and they are a beautiful pair, soulmates even. So why do you feel like this? 

Maybe because you’ve had a silly little crush on the tawtute ever since he was ‘welcomed’ into your clan. His human features were so endearing and he was so pretty, you often found yourself sneaking glances when he was around. 

It was heartbreaking to watch him fall more and more in love with your sister, the perfect child. You could never hate her, she’s your big sister Neytiri, constantly giving hugs and words of wisdom but still…It didn’t make it hurt any less…Especially if your love life has been non-existent since the day you were born, no boys ever taking interest in you. 

You decide to walk up to them both, you miss your sister and you can give Jake your gift. You bring your fingers up to your forehead before bringing them down, bowing slightly. 

“Kaltxi, Ma’Tiri, Ma’Jake…”

Neytiri motions for you to sit next to her. “How has your day been?”

“It was…Good. I have been busy with preparations.” You say, she hums. 

You fall into an awkward silence, Jake fidgeting with nerves. He eventually caves and gets up to leave.

“Wait! Jake, I have something…For you.” You quickly jump up and thrust the food and bracelet into his hands, smiling slightly which looks more like a grimace. 

“Oh…Uh, thanks?” He furrs his eyebrows before turning away and leaving. You sigh heavily before sitting back down with Neytiri…There was a couple seconds of silence before she speaks.

“You love him already, don’t you?”

You sigh again…”Yeah…”

#flo's work #atwow #atwow fanfiction #atwow x y/n #avatar fanfiction #avatar x reader #avatar x fem reader #jake sully x reader #avatar the way of water

[cricketnationrise]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks to @cha-melodius, @kiwiana-writes, and @happiness-of-the-pursuit for the tags!

How many works do you have on ao3?

253

What's your total ao3 word count?

481,635

What fandoms do you write for?

RWRB, Check Please!, Tortall, verrrry occassionally The Parasol Protectorate

Top five fics by kudos:

Going Platinum - camboy!Alex AU

Burnin' Through the Sky - speed dating meet-cute

Set in Platinum - camboy!Alex sequel

warm from the inside out - some stuff happens under a desk 😉

Downburst - In The Shadow of Two Gunmen/West Wing AU

Do you respond to comments?

I have responded to every comment so far!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't tend to write angsty endings. That being said, this Check, Please! ficlet I wrote for @shygryf is very angsty: Hotel Room, Mar. 1 (I did fix it with a later ficlet, but on it's own...)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them tbh. I'm an unrepentant happy ending lover.

Do you get hate on fics?

Nothing that comes to mind--I've been extremely lucky. I've gotten some baffling ones and some with a strange tone, but I think that's more down to English not being their first language, not hate.

Do you write smut?

Yes.

Craziest crossover:

I tend toward fusions/AUs rather than actual crossovers. Although there are Check Please! easter eggs in the Going Platinum universe.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of, although I would hope that any translator would have let me know so that I can flail in overwhelmed gratitude.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, although there's one that's been sitting for a year-ish that I'm gonna be really excited to finally get to.

All time favorite ship?

I won't choose and you can't make me.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Not right now. All the wips I've got that are more than just like, one line or a title, I'm really excited about writing and sharing.

What are your writing strengths?

Immersive descriptions, humor, and metaphors. This bitch loves a metaphor.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. I'm getting better, but any time I have a particularly big action scene I beg on my knees for @cha-melodius to get into the doc.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Only If I feel confident about the translation. I'll usually get a native speaker to check it over if it's more than an easy phrase I already know/can google, especially if it's a whole conversation.

First fandom you wrote in?

Check, Please!

Favorite fic you've written?

You're so mean to me making me pick. Le sigh, fine.

Check, Please!: How Delightful if that Were True - Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society AU (100% homegrown epistolary baybee)

RWRB: More Than Brick and Mortar - sentient Brownstone AU, magical realism

Tortall: i'll rise up in spite of the ache - hockey AU of First Test

Parasol Protectorate: No Small Matter - 5+1 pranks on Conall that I wrote for @homobiwan

(narrowing these down was absolute agony, btw. hope you're happy.)

Tags under the cut, but if you wanna do this, who am I to stop you? Aka consider this your open tag.

@celeritas2997 @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @inexplicablymine @leaves-of-laurelin @anincompletelist

@firenati0n @missanniewhimsy @montrealmadison @doggernaut @parvuls

#cricket writes #writer games #20 questions #rwrb #omgcp #tortall #parasol protectorate #check please #personal faves

[wystericwoes]

Doomed pt. 5

Warnings: Cursing, fighting and descriptions of gore + violence.

(Sorry this took so long)

Sukuna watched intensely through the window, a fist under his chin and robes loosely adjourned.

He stared As you picked a flower up and took it from the vine, sliding it into your loose hanging sleeve. Looking around making sure no one saw as a child would after stealing candy. 

He wondered what you were going to do with it. Put in your hair? A vase? His mind wondered. Why act as if it’s a deceitful act that one could get in trouble for when you could do whatever you wanted? 

“Lord Sukuna?”

Uraume approached him from behind, head lowered. His gaze was unwavering as he continued to stare at you. 

He grunted in response. 

“The councilmans here to see you.”

“Tell him I'm busy.”

“It's important.”

“He can wait.”

She gulped. Hating that she had to be the news bearer.

“He… demands an audience.”

He tightened his fist. 

“I'm afraid word got out. And now all your allies are beginning to talk. Not attending this meeting would only make things worse.”

“Tch.”

He turned around to face her, her head remained bowed.

“Where is he?”

That night dinner was quieter than usual. 

He didn't eat, you hardly saw him eat anymore. He simply watched atop pillows, one fist under his jaw as you indulged. You were no longer intimidated by him when he was like this, pissed. 

“What happened?”

You asked. 

“Nothing.”

“Don’t do that with me Sukuna.”

You said as you lifted a bite of food to your mouth. 

He scoffed and turned his head away pouting like a kid. 

“Something political?”

He was never able to lie to you. 

"Snotty pissboys who call themselves leaders who I have to upkeep diplomatic relations with."

His jaw ticked and fists tightened, the air growing thicker with tension. You decided not to press any further.

“Are you going to be okay or would like some help?”

He looked back at you, you had slid down your robe revealing your shoulder. 

He grinned. 

“I always want your help.”

Before Ryomen Sukuna was what he is today, he was a man. 

A man who had made a mistake, falling in love. 

He was a few things actually. 

A man, a sorcerer, a killer, and a ruler. 

But you held him back from his true potential. There were certain lines he would not cross as he progressed his reign of terror. 

He maintained an air of ruthlessness and a reputation of brutality. It's how he amassed power, no one threatened to cross his merciless path. Rumors of him killing a handmaid for bringing him his tea late, or killing a high-ranking nobleman with a hairpin because his footman offended him. These tales were what kept him on his throne.

But as long as you lived, he would never be able to cross the threshold of true power. Because you gave him morals, and morals were limitations. 

As of right now he was simply a king among men, a powerful sorcerer. 

He desired to be a god, but that simply wasn't possible.

For what god cares for a human?

That human was what he lived for, and what he worked for. 

Uraume and Sukunas inner circle despised you. They watched as the man who was on the rise to godhood was stumped by a non-sorcerer of no exceptional lineage or wealth. But they knew that you held more power over them than any of them combined- Killing you was not an option. You were untouchable, and an unmovable obstacle.

Even with your kindness you were a hindrance to them. They saw what you truly were. 

An inconvenience, A weakness. 

They had to stand by as he gawked at you and adorned you with jewels and silks, hand fed you grapes like a servant. Like he couldn’t snap your throat in an instant. 

Disgusting. 

And all the sex? fucking annoying. 

He would have a warlord waiting in the conference room as you were shamelessly copulating in the springs. 

People started to talk. About the ruthless leader Ryomen Sukuna and his only concubine. 

The one that he spoiled, the one that he daunted around and let speak freely at his side during important meetings and gatherings. 

Concubine. You could never forget that's what you are to most people, and you didn't. But it doesn't matter, because at the end of the day, you're the one who he’ll kill for. You knew that everyone either hated you or loved you, was either jealous or resentful. 

Now usually, fellow people in power wouldn’t care about any usual whore. But you seemed to linger. Always be by his side and be the only one he had- and while the servants of his residence didn’t dare to say anything in fear of his retaliation, his allies and their servants had no such obligation. And once they left his grand estate, people talked.

You walked with an air of power, after a while you stopped caring about all the talk and rumors- because that's all it was. Talk. At the end of the day, they would treat you kindly with a warm smile as you walked by. 

To a few who liked you, they admired you as the olive branch and as the light in his life. the one who stepped in with a moral objection before he killed or punished someone who likely didn't deserve his wrathful hand.

A sweet love story, and the last shred of his humanity. But to most, a mistake. To his inner Jujutsu circle, a hindrance. 

Some nights you could touch him in all the right ways to get him to open up, you were on top, you left the hickeys. 

Your face was buried in his neck, he never made any noise. Just moved. Maybe a grunt. You felt his hips rut against you as you traced the outline of his hard cock through his thin white robes. 

Times like this at his most vulnerable was when you pried.

“Sukuna?”

He hummed against your head. 

You placed your chin on his chest and looked up at him. 

“Why don’t you marry me?”

His breath hitched slightly. But his face remained unmoving.

“You know I'd say yes.”

You pouted into him 

“You’re cute.” He growled. 

“I'm sexy. Not cute. And would be excellent as a spouse.”

You pressed yourself against him, slouching down as if in defeat.

“You are. We’re already together though, is this not enough?”

You sighed and turned around, facing upwards next to him. 

“I just want it to be official. I'm tired of hiding behind doors. You're the strongest right? So why do you worry?”

He could lie and say politics. But he always found himself physically unable to.

“I've never been married before.”

“Neither have I, that's why we should do it together!” You whined as you nuzzled into his neck and threw an arm across his broad chest. One of his stronger ones wrapping around your back.

He chuckled into you. The truth was, a lot of reasons. He didn't want you to have the pressure that came as the married person to a powerful lord such as Sukuna when you were so young, and he also didn't want people to know about you. If he becomes married you become more of a target. Rather than your existence outside his home being whispers of a side piece, the ring on his finger would be an immediate show of “I have a weakness.”

 You could get kidnapped, enslaved, assaulted, killed- 

His fists tightened. 

But also rather selfishly, he couldn't bare the thought of accepting himself as a romantic. A wedding ceremony and honeymoon is all too intimate for one such as himself, he's supposed to be revered and invoke terror. 

You placed a soft hand across his own, easing the tension. 

“I just want everyone to know you’re mine.”

“That I'm yours? What about you?”

“They already know who I belong to”. You said with a sly smile, moving down your kimono donning several hickeys and bites. 

You moved so you were sitting on his lap, he sat up and looked up at you with half-lidded eyes. 

“I want you to do what it takes to become the strongest so we can get married and you won't worry.”

You placed your hands on his chest and rubbed circles across his toned muscles. 

He wasn't just scared of the enemy though; he was scared of losing himself. If he had no restraints, if he was away from his chain of reason and humanity- he couldn't hide the monster you suppressed. and the thought of him losing himself to madness didn't scare him- rather it stressed him out. The uncertainty of it all, the darkness he had been able to hide behind your shining light.

You laid down on him again and his arms instinctively found solace around you.

“Do you know what it would take for me to do this?” 

“I do.” 

“I’d be gone more. I might change.” 

“Life is short, don’t waste it all on me.” 

“It’s not a waste if it’s with you.”

You hummed in contentment as you nuzzled into his neck and closed your eyes. 

"I know you'll never hurt me."

He exhaled a long sigh unfurrowing his brows. You were his humanity, so as long as he had you, it would be fine. 

Right?

To gain power he needed to fight, which meant longer trips. But with your blessing he persisted, even if time away from you was torture. 

“Protect them with your life or I'll ruin yours.”

Was the threat he gave to everyone as he left you alone. 

He hated it. Absolutely fucking despised it Whether he was gone for two days or two months. 

And he quickly learned how to take that rage and loneliness and warp it into his new growing obsession- power.

A name had begun to spring around Japan, as the man who never lost. 

Rumors sprung of a monster terrorizing the region in which he reigned, and the ones outside of it.

Each time he came back to you he had to remind himself who he was, with your saccharine kisses, delicate touches, and careless whispers. Such a stark contrast to the pure filth and violence he was subjugating himself to. 

But each time he left you, a piece of him stayed behind. 

You never cared for the details of what he was doing, ignorance was bliss after all. 

Until he came home with blood on his hands. 

“Sukuna…”

You had gone in to kiss him, and you brought his hand up to your face. But that was when you noticed it. 

“It’s not mine, don’t worry.” he said reassuringly, as if that was somehow better. 

You stuffed it down. He’s a good man who loves you- he would never hurt you. 

It was like a raging fire inching closer to you, but so long as you couldn't feel it, you could keep looking away.

You were looking around for him, trying to find his company as you carried your feet across the estate. 

“Sukunaa!” You sang. 

He came out from a corridor and closed it behind him. 

“I was just thinking about…!”

Scarlet was scattered across his body as if he had been painted like a fine canvas.

You froze. A surge of fresh anxiety hit your veins as your eyes wandered down to the bottom of the door, what was behind it?

“Y/n”

He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him- his eyes were dead. 

This was not your Sukuna. 

You tried pushing him away, but he didn't let up. Instead his grip tightened. 

“Did you know that your handmaid liked you? They were going to confess to you.”

He whispered. 

“Stop…”

“To think that i’ve let myself fall from such grace that everyone has forgotten who you belong too.”

“Sukuna…”

You were not unfamiliar with bouts of jealousy. Of rough nights of fucking and hands on your neck. But in his eyes, there was always love, always sensual and caring underneath those layers of grit and abrasion. Extensive and precise control over his actions so as to not truly irreparably damage you. An air of caution and attention to detail to see if you were okay.

His grip was bruising, nails piercing the skin as rivulets of blood graced your skin. 

He feverishly kissed you, shoving his tongue past your teeth in an aggressive movement. 

You whimpered into him trying to leave, but each time you resisted he squeezed harder. He clogged your airways with his persistence and left you in shock. Pain began to violently spread where his grip was held.

He eventually pulled away as you stayed breathless and panting. 

“Sukuna you're scaring m-”

“Don’t go in there. I can’t help you if you do.”

He cut you off as he released you and signaled for the nearest servant for them to clean the mess. Then he walked away. 

Your eyes flickered to the cracked door behind him, terror coursing through your veins as you wondered what was inside.

The bruise on your hip blossomed shades of yellow and purple sharing an eerie resemblance to the blue lotuses in the garden.

You sat as hot tears glazed your face as the nurse dabbed your wound clean.

Small crescent-shaped abrasions graced across your hues of painted skin, artistic in a way.

The maid cleaning your wounds said nothing as you cried. too scared of what would happen if she dared utter a word.

She wrapped your wound in a cotton bandage, and instructed you to rest. 

You leaned back admiring the hardwood walls and paintings, tears eventually ceasing as you lay alone, and cried alone.

The next few months it only got worse. He would be gone for even longer periods, and he limited your access to the outside world. At first, you could go with an escort, but now only him. And he was never there.

You started to write letters. To him, while he was gone, but you never gave them to him. Writing helped you clear your head.

But who you were writing to wasn't the man who was alive today, it was the one who you knew before you sent him off to become the strongest. 

Sukuna, 

I hope this letter finds you well. Because I, selfishly, am not. I am scared. I am irrefutably alone. Things are dimming and becoming gray, I find myself terrified in your presence, and terribly lonesome in your absence. I am in purgatory. Unable to move, or breathe, I can't even find the words to…

You sniffled as you dipped the pen back into its ink holder and slid into a cold bed. 

You spent that night sobbing. At first quietly, but then you could no longer hold back the choked sobs that echoed through your shared bedroom. 

You had to make a decision. 

And so, you hid the final letter and packed your things.

And left within the dead of night. 

A monstrous roar echoed through the decorated walls.

He violently worked his way through the entire estate, ripping doors and dropping ceramics. 

“What did I say?!”

His voice almost echoed, filling the halls and invoking terror. 

Anyone unfortunate enough to be met in his path was either yelled at, mauled, or both. 

A trail of corpses and pools of crimson met his feet as he stormed through the halls. 

“I gave everyone ONE job. And none of you know where they went?!”

Uraume ran up behind him and hovered a hand over his shoulder.

“Lord Sukuna! Perhaps this is a good thing.”

He turned around to face her, and with his silence, she continued. 

“Now we can focus on your reign! You can inst-”

She was knocked to the ground. 

“Mind your place.”

She put a hand over her face as blood gushed from her nose, 

“I'll deal with you later.”

His words were toxic, malicious and deep, 

“L-Lord sukuna!”

A lady wearing nurses' robes bowed on the ground. 

“I may have information!" her voice shook.

“Well? Tell me!” He shouted

She got up and shuffled over to your room. Sukuna following close behind. 

She slid the door open and the sight shocked him. 

Your clothes were strewn across the floor, as well as papers, ink, and personal belongings. 

You must've left distressed.

Without hesitation she went over to the corner where your writing station was, and popped open a loose floorboard, revealing dozens of letters. All were addressed to Sukuna. 

She handed them over to him as she bowed her head to the ground. 

He grabbed them and began rampantly flipping through as his face fell. He sat down on the shared bed, and he hung onto every word, every affirmation, and every syllable. 

He brought his head up, a fury in his eyes. 

“Pack my things.” 

The nurse nodded and scurried away. 

He had a death induced grip on the papers, crinkling and tearing under his hold. 

He set off at night, alone. 

“I will find you even if I must sacrifice each living soul and cast myself to hell.” 

He made a vow to himself. 

He stormed through each village and town slaughtering every person he saw after he asked his question. 

No one knew what he was talking about, even after he killed their families. Some people would lie, but he could tell- resulting in their death as well. 

His newfound senses and strength had allowed him to know the general direction in which you went, but not specifically where you were.

He pillaged through Japan on a vicious spree of mass genocide. Bodies strewn out like constellations across what was once green grass. 

Men, women, children, babies. All were just sacks of useless weak flesh that stood in the way. 

He would cross the occasional Jujutsu sorcerer, but he didn’t even care. 

They all bleed the same. 

He had worked his way through the night, until it was sunrise. And he didn’t sleep, he continued his rampage. 

Throughout the next two days, an utter massacre as one of the most tragic events befell Japan. The countryside's peaceful silence was marked with grotesque screams, crop fields and farms now watered by blood. Corpses stacked into mounds of death. 

Until he finally reached his destination. It had been days, but he knew he was there. 

He could smell you. 

A small clearing in the forest, with a small village no larger a population than 40 people. 

He had warped into a beast, not quite physically yet, but the toll of murder to this degree puts a mark on one’s soul. 

A specific hut with smoke arising from it similar to your cooking, the door creaked open. 

You were sipping on tea, and talking with a member of the family that had offered you shelter, tending to the food- when the door creaked open. 

The shaded figure bore dead soulless eyes, blood of varying stages of exposure, sharp teeth, and a cruel face. 

“I found you.” 

Your eyes shot open, and your heart began to beat faster as he approached. 

“Excuse me! Sir? You ca-“ 

The sentence was interrupted and followed by a brief momentary silence, carried out by his body collapsing, missing a head. 

Some of the blood splattered on your cheek. 

“S..sukuna….” 

You squeaked out with bloodshot eyes. 

You backed yourself against the wall as he drew closer. 

“Stop it please…” 

He loomed over you, casting a deep shadow until he got down on his knees to be closer to you. 

“You’ve got blood on your face.” 

He brought a stained thumb to your cheek and wiped the blood from your soft skin. 

“Let’s go home. I’ll discipline you later.” 

He tried pulling you up by your wrist but you resisted. 

“I’m not going!” 

He picked you up with a fluid movement and threw you over his shoulder. You kicked, but it was for nothing. You had no effect on him. 

He started walking out of the house as you saw the remains of the one who once offered you headless at your captors feet. 

Tears began to form in your eyes as you saw the form get smaller and smaller. 

You really did try and resist, you did. You pushed and shoved and clawed, but he ignored you as if you weren’t even there. 

“Why are you doing this...?” 

Your voice was weak.

He stayed quiet. Simply looking forward as he walked. 

“I don’t like who you are anymore... I don’t feel safe.” 

He stopped. 

“Who’s idea was it for me to travel and get stronger?” 

You jumped

“I didn’t know that it meant this!” 

“Oh please. What did you think I was doing? Dancing? How else does one become powerful? You aren’t that stupid are you?” 

He was right. You knew he was a killer, you had just denied it to yourself to live in your happy bubble. Tears continued to stream down your face. 

You eventually fell limp and tired from the energy and exhaust, giving up for now. 

He set you down at a tree as he began collecting firewood.

“Stay.” 

Sukuna stayed close as he gathered sticks and logs nearby. 

You shivered as night fell. Leaning against a lonesome tree and hugging yourself tightly, trying to choke back your sobs. Your situation dawning on you cruelly like a whip.

Hearing the sounds of footsteps approaching you, you turned around to see Sukuna shirtless as he held his robe over you. 

“Take it.” 

With a shaky hand you held onto it, and he helped drape it over you. 

He put the final sticks in the pile, and you watched as he created a fire from his own hand, you were much too tired to even question how he could do that. And lit the log.

He made himself comfortable in the grass as his eyes met yours. You flinched upon the contact. 

“I thought you died.” 

He said in a gravelly voice. One that resonates through your entire body. 

“I- I’m sorry…” 

He tilted his head to the side. 

“You’re not allowed outside again after this understand?” 

You furrowed your brows and frowned, looking away.

You didn’t understand how he was remaining so casual, talking to you as if he didn’t just kidnap you and murder people.

You buried yourself in the familiar scent of his clothes. They were musty, but it was all you had. 

Comforting yourself with him from him. 

“Answer me.” 

“Okay…” 

“Okay what?” 

“I understand.” 

“Now go to sleep.” 

“I can’t when you’re watching me.”

You wiped your eyes and sniffled, trying not to think about the situation. 

“I don’t care.” 

You desperately tried to sleep. To close your eyes and forget the day. But then you would feel the monstrous breathing behind you. 

You swear he's a little taller than the last time you saw him. 

Eventually as the night passed, the crackle of the fire lulled you into something close enough to sleep. When your breaths were slowed, he inched closer to you, laying down behind you. 

The blaze of the dying fire dwindled and failed to distract you from your own thoughts. You slowly turned to face the beast behind you to see him asleep, audibly letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding. 

The warmth he emitted was solace. And his peaceful face hid the killer within. 

Maybe you could lie to yourself long enough to make this work, maybe you could pretend it was all okay. 

You clenched your eyes and shook the thought away. 

It’ll all be better in the morning. 

His eyelids fluttered open, rays of light peeking behind the blinds to reveal your sleeping form breathing rhythmically in short paces. 

He knew he shouldn’t be indulging in this. 

But something about the attention filled a hole in him he never thought he needed filled.

He was always enough for himself. 

It was only temporary he thought, as he sat up and eased out of bed. 

Walking to the bathroom to brush his teeth and shower, as quietly as he could. 

This really wasn’t like him. But he had just gotten so used to your unfamiliarity, to your sporadic actions and intangible remarks. 

Even after over a month of living together, he still hadn’t aired out the mystery of you. He decided for the first time to just let it be for a while, let it sit- because things were too good the way they were right now. 

One of you would start cooking or making tea and coffee, then twenty minutes later like clockwork the other would begrudgingly dredge in the kitchen with tired eyes and messy hair, sitting in a chair and accepting whatever plate of food or beverage was slid their way. 

This morning, he was feeling particularly lazy and decided to order food. Something he knew you would have no objection to, considering the last time he cooked you called it “the nastiest tasting excuse for shit food” you had ever tasted. 

Truth was it wasn’t terrible. And your attempts at cooking weren’t much better. But it felt nice practicing together.

He pulled out his phone and began putting in the food as he plopped himself down on the couch. kicking his feet up on the coffee table. 

He could hear your disinclined footsteps from the other side of the big yet humble house make its way over to you. 

“For someone so rich I really wish you had a guest bedroom. You snore.” 

“That’s a pretty interesting way of thanking me for letting you live here for free.” 

You drank a glass of water and made your way over to the couch, sitting down next to him before abruptly collapsing and falling your head into his lap. 

“I can't live in my apartment remember?” 

“What are you feeling for breakfast, sugary or savory?” 

“Sugary.” 

You rolled over to be facing upwards, staring at the bleak and perfectly eggshell white ceiling. 

“A person after my own heart.” 

He finished sending in the order as he set his phone down and also kicked his head up. 

“Why is your house so boring? It wouldn’t kill you to paint it pink or something.” 

“Pink? Really?” 

“Sorry, blue.” 

You looked over at his upwards facing chin, admiring his features until he looked down at you, causing you to avert your gaze. 

“It’s rude to stare.” 

You simply huffed and sat upright. 

“You’re insufferable.” 

“You love it.” 

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” 

You stood up and scampered away avoiding his remark as he shouted at you. 

“Don’t slip and fall!” 

You really shouldn’t be getting used to it. But this routine was so comfortable to you now. And for both of you, served a purpose outside yourselves. A selfishly selfless act. 

For you, the safety and regiment you so desperately needed to ground yourself after all the change and trauma you had witnessed in the last month. Being with Gojo was a slow addiction. you tell yourself you can quit anytime, but realize too late that you can’t live without it. 

For him, the wild and crazy circumstances of the whole thing made it too delicious to quit. The sheer absurdity of it all for him- you being an exception. It was a stronger but fleeting high. 

You had been making impeccable progress, as far as he was concerned. Which was good, because there was so much banking on your success. So much more than you knew. 

You dreamt about him again. All these memories keep resurfacing that you never had. You suddenly developed an interest in ancient Japan and Jujutsu society, taking in any history about it that you could. 

Physically, you still had a long way to go before you reached your full potential, but you were trying. 

You hadn’t been on a mission in several weeks, learning only the basics such as how to wield a weapon and concentrating cursed energy at will. But seemingly everyday it gets a little easier.

You let the hot water roll over your body, an act almost cleansing in the physical and spiritual sense. The steam awakens your senses, and you rest easy knowing when you get out food will be waiting for you in the kitchen. That all things are as they should be for the time being. 

The weather is slowly getting colder, as fall creeps its way over summer. Leading you to wear warmer clothing, a long sleeve and pants. You step out into the kitchen drying the remnants of water in your hair using your mostly damp towel, the smell of food hitting your nose. 

“This is the real reason why I stick around Satoru.” 

“Really? Nothing else?”

You didn't even entertain him as you ripped open the bags filled with stacks of delectable goodness. 

Adjacent to you he got two plates out and utensils, the both of you began setting your plates. 

“Oh and also, you have a mission tomorrow.”

You halted your movements abruptly, slowly turning your head to his unbothered disposition. 

“And you just thought to tell me?”

Venom laced your words.

“I didn't want you to be mad at me! you get scary.”

You took a deep breath and spoke behind gritted teeth. 

“Okay. Care to tell me more?”  

Aggressively shoving food on your plate, he stepped a couple paces farther from you.

“There's been reports of a higher ranked curse going around, weird stuff keeps happening, people dying, mutilation, blah blah. You’ll be accompanied by a pro this time rather than just babysitting.”

“Alright. And will my life be in danger? Are you hiding the details from me again, so I have no idea what I'm walking into?”

“Nope! Not this time.”

  He walked away with his plate of food and sat on the couch. 

“Are there any other details you'd like to disclose before I find out the truth?”

“Not particularly.”

He said before a big bite.

You very annoyingly sat down as far away from him as possible. 

“I better not find out you're lying to me.”

“Just watch a pro at work, that’s all you gotta do.” 

“Do I at least get a weapon?” 

The first thing you notice about Nanami is his deliberate ability to make any situation feel more or less stressful. 

His face bore little to no reactions, his posture stiff and correct, his voice commanding. 

He made a lasting impression. 

The second thing you noticed was that he was also handsome. Not pretty like Gojo or cute like Yuuji, but handsome. 

You trudged through the tunnel of a dark sewer. You had to remain strong. As difficult as it had been to accept over the last weeks, this was going to be your life now. 

You honestly didn’t know what to expect. 

“You’ve been misinformed I assume.” 

He broke the silence. 

“Probably. I have a terrible teacher.” 

“Sounds in character for him. What all do you know of the situation?” 

“Basically nothing.” 

You felt that feeling again, of being in the dark. Quite literally and metaphorically. 

“Itadori and I have done most of the leg work already, the hunt for this transfigurer and tracking its location.” 

“Transfigurer?” 

“I suppose I should prepare your for what you are about to see. If at all it becomes stressful I understand if you want to leave.” 

He took your affirming nod and silence as a means to continue his explanation. 

“This curse can alter one’s physical shape into anything it desires. It’s a truly grotesque and disgusting power. Which is why I take urgency to exorcise it.” 

“By ones physical shape do you mean…?” 

“Humans.” 

You felt a tightness well in your throat. 

“You’re new to this, and if I’m being frank this assignment was not the best to be one of your first. But I suppose this is a good way to throw you into the field and begin developing your tolerance.” 

Tolerance? You wondered what he meant. 

As honest as he was, you knew he was hiding information from you. 

“Nanami, I have a question.” 

He continued in silence, your sign to continue. 

“Is Satoru hiding something from me?” 

He pushed his glasses up and came to a stop. 

“It’s not my place to say.” 

That made your stomach drop. 

“I will tell you this, no single functional mind could comprehend that man’s intentions.” 

He continued walking. A shared silence as you felt torn between not wanting to pry, and desperately needing to know more. 

“Whenever we find what we’re looking for, I want you to stay a consistent 20 paces behind me at all time. If you get in the way it could compromise your safety as well as mine.” 

You simply nodded. Far too on edge to properly respond. 

You weren’t going to question his authority, especially when his confidence made you feel at ease. Usually being commanded on what to would have made you livid, but now you could do nothing but listen. It was mostly silence. 

You just kept trudging the seemingly endless tunnel on edge until something happened.

“H-e…lp m…e…” 

A distorted and raspy voice was heard beyond in the darkness.

You froze. Immediately following Nanami’s rule and slowly easing yourself several feet behind him. 

And you’re glad you did, when what you saw made you feel dizzy. 

A creature with four legs and deep purple skin, eyes on opposite side of its head an no neck. 

Without any hesitation or time to process, Nanami sliced across its chest and with a single blow, killed it. It’s body falling limp at his feet as he continued walking. 

You attempted to remain calm. Seeing as how he was, you were scared of what he may think if you freaked out, you couldn’t imagine burdening him during a serious moment and messing things up. 

“Those are what I was talking about, transfigured bodies.” 

“That was once a…” 

You walked by it, footing unsteady, giving one last fleeting glance at the cadaver. 

“Now you see why we need to eliminate this curse.” 

Sudden emotion over took you as you continued walking, remembering its eyes. Human eyes. 

You shook your head. Choosing to not care in the moment. 

That cycle repeated. A monster crosses your path, Nanami slashes it, and you continue down the endless paths of dim tunnels. 

You weren’t exactly a master at this or anything relating, but it didn’t take a genius to notice your comrades growing irritation. 

“Are you okay?” You muttered

“I only wish this curse would show itself. Even if these are disfigured and beyond help, killing humans leaves a bad taste in my mouth.” 

“Oh Good Good!” 

A different voice approached from the darkness; a sudden gut-wrenching feeling overcame.

“I was really worried someone strong would show up. But you two should be easy to experiment on!” 

Nanami seemed unbothered. Pushing his glasses upwards. They stood in an uneasy silence for a moment. Just a moment.

And before you knew it a series of blows were exchanged faster than your eyes could keep up with. You didn’t even see who attacked first.

All you could do was try and stay out of his way. 

The curse suddenly slid back several feet. Wide eyed. 

“Was that some kind of cursed technique? I should’ve blocked it.” 

“What do you mean some kind? I don’t appreciate questions that are left to interpretation” 

“Oh good, seems you don’t mind talking!” 

“That depends on who I’m talking to.” 

“Guess I’m special then huh?” 

This curse oozed a certain arrogance which reminded you eerily of Gojo. 

You stopped breathing when he pointed to you.

“And who’s that then?” 

Nanami stepped further in front of you to block his view. You were honestly shocked he could see you; you were so far back in the darkness that you could barely even tell what was going on. 

“That doesn’t concern you.”

“Emotional support? I guess your job does get pretty tricky huh? Humans can’t handle much.” 

“They're my colleague.” 

He tapped his foot on the ground, seemingly thinking something. 

“Hey what do you think came first? The body, or the soul?” 

You both had a confused look. 

“Y’know like chicken and the egg? Is the soul inside the body, or is the body outside the soul?”

“The former.” 

He was tense. You didn’t like the air around you; the whole situation was awkward. You had been looking at curses as non-human things to ease the guilt and trauma, but to know that they could talk and be coherent, sent you someplace dark. 

“Wrong. The soul always exists before the body.” 

Nanami looked like he could care less. 

“It’s the source of my power. I transform the shape of my soul; it’s not healing or shapeshifting like many believe.” 

Out of nowhere a creature summoned at his hand.

“I make humans small and store them, it’s pretty hard Y’know?” 

You watched as Nanami checked his watch and muttered something under his breath.

“An ordinary person dies after being transfigured. I wonder what will happen to you jujutsu sorcerers…” 

So much had happened you struggled to make sense of any of it. You no longer knew how much time had passed. You would have guessed fifteen minutes- but knew it was probably longer. 

They were ruthless. The punches, the kicks, the blocking and dodging. You felt too appalled to do anything and too interested to look away. 

Somehow this felt familiar to you. Watching it all was like replaying a movie you had seen when you were a young child. Details blurred and specifics unknown, but a certain naturalness came with it once you saw it again. 

“I'm now officially working overtime.” 

Nanami eased his tie, and a sudden shift was felt in the air. 

“So, you have a way to get stronger from fighting past a certain time huh? You’re not half bad.” 

He sported a sickening smile through the entire ordeal. One that made your insides curl.

You watched as the ground beneath Nanami shifted beneath him and lifting him up, another deformed body had been conjured and was serving as an impromptu ledge. He crouched and wiped his thumb across a crying face. 

“I’ve mastered transfiguring souls without killing them. Try not to feel too bad.” 

“I don’t let personal feelings affect my work.” 

It all suddenly hit you. He changes the shape of people into grotesque… things. And all the while they stay fully conscious and feeling. 

“You’re such a terrible liar! About this and your ‘colleague’.” 

A strong sense of justice took over you. 

“So, you just transform people into whatever you want? Just because you look like a freak doesn’t mean everyone else does too!” 

A sudden sense of Deja Vu came over you, remembering when your fear left your body in place of anger when you were fighting that special grade curse. You were no longer yourself, just your emotions. 

Nanami looked back at you shocked, and judging by the curses face, he was as well. 

“Well I’ll be damned. The cheer section has some voice. What rank are you? I hardly defected any cursed energy from you before. I thought you weren’t even a sorcerer!” 

“I don’t have a rank.” 

Nanami sighed. Clearly annoyed at the fighting and provoking. 

“You should get one soon so we can have a proper fight. I’m really looking forward to seeing what would happen to that deformed soul of yours once I get a hold of it.” 

You went to open your mouth.

“That’s enough.” 

Nanami butted in before you two could insult each other again. 

“And what about you my blonde-haired friend? What’s your rank.” 

“Grade 1.” 

“So, you’re strong huh? Perfect for experimentation. Both of you make a fine pair. First, I just have to get rid of the bodyguard!” 

Suddenly, the hand of the curse slammed against Nanami's stomach, flat-palmed. They stood still for a brief moment. 

It felt like time stopped. 

Did he kill him? Was something going to happen? What would happen if Nanami died? You can’t fight this guy by yourself! 

Panic started to set in, and you had to fight every natural instinct telling you to run away. 

“Looks like your soul is being subconsciously protected by cursed energy. But that’s no worry, another 2-3 times you’ll no longer be human!” 

As much as you hated this helpless feeling, you were learning a lot. 

Learning how weak and ignorant you were, and how strong you could be. Nanami was inspiring, unlike Gojo who flaunted strength and barely delivered, Nanami showed and didn’t boast. He simply acted, strength just coming to him, and it suited him well. 

“Y’know you’re getting kind of boring.” 

He looked back to you. 

You felt a breeze hit your face, followed by a hand on your shoulder. 

He was behind you. 

“You’re much more interesting.” 

Nanami gritted his teeth and ran back to you quickly, with a face that could only be described as something between concern and fear. He aimed a critical hit, but his blade was met with nothing, causing him to stumble forward but gracefully compose himself.

The curse was far behind him.

Your knees buckled. You didn’t even see him move, he was well over thirty feet away and he suddenly appeared behind you- you felt your throat tighten and your lungs fail to collect air as the shock subsided.

Your heart started racing, your hands clenched, and face flushed. 

“Well I’ll be damned! Nothing happened when I touched you either!” 

Suddenly, Nanami lunged at the curse, swinging his weapon to which the curse dodged. 

He shouted at you. 

“Hey! Are you aware of your unique soul?” 

You figured it was best to not engage at all. Swallowing a nervous lump in your throat. 

“Your fight is with me, leave them alone.” 

“Why bring them along then? It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that their soul is in a different shape, does it?” 

“A different shape?” 

You muttered out. 

“Yeah! I’ve never seen anything like it. You two are sure an unforgettable pair. I really wonder what would happen if my cursed technique worked on you.” 

“Y/n.” 

Nanami's voice cleared the space of your spiraling thoughts. 

“Leave.” 

You hesitated for a second, before turning around and letting your feet carry out as fast as you could, back where you came in from. You heard fighting and struggling behind you as you disappeared into the dark, not daring to turn around. 

When you reached the entrance, you nearly vomited.

You held your stomach and doubled over, supporting yourself on some near railing, the events finally settling in. 

Everything seemed to be delayed in these slowly turning familiar terrifying circumstances. 

You were panting and shaking- trying desperately to compose yourself. 

“Y/n?” 

You slowly turned your head up trying not to hurl as the images and phrases repeated in your head. 

It was Yuuji, accompanied by a black-haired teen you hadn’t seen before. 

“Are you okay?” 

He looked so concerned.  

“Y-yeah. Just…” 

You felt bile build up in your throat, moving a hand over your mouth and the other to hold up your pointer finger in a ‘one second’ motion. 

The boys looked at each other awkwardly. 

“Just... adapting.” 

“I get it. It was hard for me too, in the beginning.” 

A still silence sat for a moment. 

“Wanna come with us? we could sit down somewhere and maybe get you a drink or something?” 

You slowly nodded your head yes. 

The darker-haired boy didn’t seem to talk at all as you and a Yuuji conversed, maybe he was just shy. You didn't care enough at the moment to ask questions though.

The three of you sat on concrete steps overlooking a river, holding sodas. 

“They were people once. And when I finally found that out, I just couldn’t hold back this feeling of dread.” 

“Yeah. I felt the same way.” 

“How do you do it? Keep it together? You both lived normal lives then suddenly had to throw it all away for monsters and magic.” 

“You don’t have a choice. These things, they’re true evil. They’re not people, and they only exist to kill. And I guess, knowing that they exist and that I can do something about it is better than not doing anything at all.” 

You sat on that. This was a chance for you to better the world, to make a change.

“I guess I never thought about it like that.” 

“And Y’know, you don’t get any awards or medals or credit or anything. No ordinary person will ever know what you do for them, but you have a community to share that with. It’s not like Spider-Man where he goes home every day and has to pretend everything is normal. You have friends who are like you!"

“Did you just compare Jujutsu society to Spider-man?” 

“It works doesn’t it!” He flashed you a smile that made you feel better.

It does.

“I just don’t think I’m ready. Ready to fight… monsters or anything.” 

“Not many people are. I guess I’m an exception because I want to help people more than anything. You just got to find that motivation!” 

What motivates you? 

You wanted to help people. But not as passionately as Yuuji did. You weren’t angry enough to take it out on curses like Gojo suggested, and you weren’t calculated like Nanami where you could treat this like a day-to-day job. 

So why even do this? Self-defense? 

Your head perked up. 

“Answers.” 

Yuuji turned his head over at you in confusion. 

“Huh?” 

“I want answers.” Your fist tightened. 

“I have to go, thank you.” 

Yuuji and the other boy stared at you as you walked off. 

You stormed inside the home after unlocking the front door. 

You took off your shoes and walked past Gojo on the couch. You didn’t utter a single word to him. 

“So, how’d it go?” 

“Tell me the truth.” 

“I asked you a question first.” 

He joked, but quickly his smile dropped as he saw the seething expression on your face. 

“I want answers, Satoru. No more half truths or bullshit.”  

With a blank expression he stood up, walking over to you. 

“What do you want to know?” 

#jjk #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #jjk x reader #jujutsukaisen fanfiction #sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk imagines

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Accidentally In Enemies : Part 3 (S.CB)

Word Count : 2.7k

Warnings : swearing, breakup, food, heartache, angst

A/N : Just the epilogue left now! I'm sorry it took so long to get this part out but I ended up hitting major writer's block with this part. Hopefully the epilogue won't take long to get out so I can start posting the next series soon after the poll is finished!

            It felt like the beginning again. The first day that San broke up with her. She woke up the morning after the dinner, everything processed in her brain, and she didn’t want to get up. Wanted to waste away in bed. Re-reading texts between them, wondering when things went wrong. Scrolling through pictures she had yet to delete, wishing for those days to come back. When they looked so happy together, so in love.

            But Changbin refused to let her waste away in bed. Showing up at her house every single day. He didn’t let her sit with her thoughts for too long, always having something to say. Makes sure she takes care of herself. Helping her realize that this wasn’t the end of her love life, just the end of this chapter.

            She had gotten used to having him around. Expecting him to be knocking at the door at the same time each day. She would find herself pulling herself out of bed to get ready for his arrival. Having a shower, getting dressed, doing her makeup. Why am I trying to impress Changbin? She would find herself thinking. But his knock would pull her from her thoughts, and she wouldn’t think about it until the next day. A cycle. A routine. It’s been so long since she had a routine like this.

            A routine that didn’t seem boring. A routine that had her excited for each day. Changbin helped her find excitement and happiness in each day. Just by being around. She went from absolutely hating him to craving his time and attention. Waiting for classes to be over so she could see him again.

            Until it all seemed to crumble around her.

            The day started the same as it always did. With her getting ready, wondering again why she was trying to impress Changbin. And then he knocked on the door, pulling her from her wandering mind. But when she opened the door, her smile fell, and she was met with Choi San. She went to close the door, but he stopped her, slamming his hand on it, and pushing it back open. “I just want to talk.”

            “Everything has been said and done, San. Let’s face it. Our relationship was over long before the breakup. I realized that recently. I’m over it.” She goes to close the door again, but he stopped her again.

            “You said your piece, can I please say mine?” She stood there, staring at him, tracing his features with her eyes. She could see the bags under his eyes, wondering if he was losing sleep over what happened at the dinner weeks ago. But the obviously fresh hickey proved to her that he really didn’t care about her. He’s here for him.

            “Talk.” San is persistent, she knows that. If she doesn’t hear him out now, he’ll come back again. And again. It used to be one of her favourite things about him. He’d go to her after every fight. If she wasn’t ready to talk, he’d sit with her until she was, letting her know he wasn’t going anywhere. But right now? She hates it. Wishes he could let things be said and done, focus on his new relationship, allow her to focus on herself.

            “Can I come in?” She shook her head.

            “You can talk out here.” He nodded, running his fingers through his hair.

            “I didn’t flirt with Gahyeon or anyone else while we were together, I promise you that. We started texting, but nothing romantic until I officially ended things with you.” He paused to assess the look on Y/n’s face. Try to gauge what she’s thinking, but her face was blank. Her eyes held no emotion. All she did was nod, and turn to shut the door again, but he started talking again. “Please say you believe me.”

            “Let’s say that I do. Where does that leave us? We’re still broken up. You still had someone else in line for when we broke up. Nothing changes. So what was the point of you coming all the way over here to tell me this?” Silence fell over them for a minute while San tried to think of something. “Good talk.” She goes to close the door for a fourth time, but this time stops herself to say one more thing. “Maybe you should make a note in your phone of her favourites. So you don’t forget.” Before San could say anything else, she closes the door.

            He goes to knock again but is stopped by Changbin. “I think it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want to talk to you.” San looks at the door and then back at Changbin, noticing the bags of food he had in his hands. He realizes now that she was expecting Changbin when she first opened the door, smile wide, makeup freshly done. It reminds him of when they first started dating, when he would show up at her house with food and gifts. How she would open the door with the same smile, the same starry look in her eyes. It’s clear to him now that she’s completely moved on, and for some reason, he hates the feeling settling in his chest.

~

            It didn’t hit her until she was gathering her belongings together after class, humming a song to herself that Changbin likes to sing to her, that she was growing attached. She was falling for him. She didn’t think of San anymore. Or the hurt he gave her. She didn’t think of the breakup in the coffee shop with San handing her a drink she barely drank. Or the dinner where San pointed out food she would hate. She didn’t even think of the fact that her relationship with San was over long before either of them walked away. That he had another girl lined up for when he left her.

            She thought of Changbin coming in, sliding her favourite drink across the table like he was the one she was supposed to be meeting up with the whole time. How he knew immediately which meal at the restaurant she would like, knowing the one San pointed out was one she wouldn’t eat. She thought of the way Changbin didn’t let her dwell in the heartbreak. He mended her heart before she could even realize it was broken.

            The realization stopped her in her tracks, steps away from her desk, her bag falling to the floor. She was in love with Changbin. How could she be in love with Changbin? She spent years hating him, wanting nothing to do with him. Now all she wants to do is spend the day with him. Everyday.

            “Are you okay?” Changbin came rushing in, picking her bag up off the ground, looking over her to see if she was injured anywhere. “Are you sick?” When he placed his hand on her forehead, she met his eyes. They were filled with worry and concern. And they were only focused on her. Even with other students around them, he only looked at her. “Let’s get you home and I’ll make you some soup.”

            He slung her bag over his shoulder with no hesitation, wrapping her in his arms, leading her out of the building and to his car. People stared. They whispered. But Changbin didn’t care. He still only looked at her. She stopped walking and reached for her bag, but Changbin pulled back. “You don’t have to do this anymore. It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve seen San. We can end this and go back to the way things used to be.” She held out her hand for her bag, but Changbin softly hit it away.

            “What if I don’t want to? What if I want to continue to be by your side? Did you ever think of that?” She stared at him, unsure of what to say. It never crossed her mind that Changbin wanted to be with her. Despite that being the most plausible reason for him continuing to show up everywhere. She always saw him as someone to hate, someone that hates her just as much. “Let me just take you home. Please.” He sounded desperate. As if he was seconds away from getting on his knees. So she gave in.

            The drive was silent. Unlike the drives in the past, which were usually filled with music, Changbin singing along, looking over at her, and serenading her with every cheesy love song. She would laugh, playfully smack his arm, and tell him he was a dork. But it never stopped him. Not that she wanted him to stop. And now that he’s not, she wishes for nothing more than just to be serenaded one last time.

            “Don’t come around anymore.” She said softly as she got out of his car. “Thanks for all your help.” He nodded and she shut the door. He waited until she was inside to drive away, trying to pretend like his heart wasn’t hurting and his eyes weren’t stinging from holding back tears.

~

            She tried to keep to routine the following days, but without Changbin knocking at her door making her excited for the days to come, the routine seemed to fall apart. It felt like she was back at square one. Pulling herself out of bed, shuffling into the bathroom. She tamed her hair that was knotted all over from tossing and turning, brushed her teeth, and washed her face.

            Her eyes scanned over her makeup when she sat at the desk in her room, glancing up into the mirror. And then she stood up, got dressed, and left her room. “Eat something before you go.” Her roommate called after her. When she turned around, she saw dishes scattered on the table. “Did you and Changbin break up?” Her roommate asked as they sat at the table to eat. “I got used to having him around everyday.” She giggled.

            “Me too.” Y/n mumbled then caught herself. “We weren’t dating!” Her roommate looked at her like she didn’t believe her.

            “Oh please. So he was just coming over everyday with food just because?” Y/n nodded. “Picking you up after class? Taking you out all the time? Late night drives? All just because?” She nodded again, slowly this time, taking in the words. “And look at you now. You look like you’re going through a break up.”

            Y/n looked down at her outfit. It was warm outside so she wore a t-shirt with a pair of shorts. It was comfortable. She thought it was cute. But if Changbin were here to pick her up, she’s sure she would have gone for a skirt instead. Or maybe a little sundress. She would have done her hair better. A touch of makeup. “I’m going to class.”

            “Just admit you guys broke up!” Her roommate calls after her and she slams the door, blinking back tears as she hops on her bicycle. It’s been a while, used to Changbin driving her everywhere. But she took a deep breath, put her ear buds in, and took another second to blink back more tears, and then headed for class.

            She didn’t even notice the all too familiar car sitting across the street. Changbin sitting inside, watching her to make sure she was okay. He wonders if she ate the food he left on the steps for her. Wonders if she wished he knocked on the door. If she misses the mornings they shared the way he did.

~

            When all her classes were done, she packed up slower than usual, nothing to look forward to anymore. Changbin wasn’t waiting for her outside the classroom door with his heart stopping smile. He wasn’t going to take her bag and wrap an arm around her, talking a mile a minute about his day, asking about hers, as he led her to his car. They wouldn’t drive around until they found something to do, somewhere to eat.

            Instead she walks alone to her bike, head down, ignoring all the chatter around her. She’s come to terms with the fact that maybe, just maybe her and Changbin took the fake dating thing a little too seriously. Got a little too close. Became a little too attached. “Y/n.” Her head snaps up at the familiar voice, seeing someone standing by her bike with a nervous smile.

            “What are you doing here?” She grumbled as she unlocked her bike, getting ready to go home. And then she stood up, holding her bike by the handlebars, staring at the man that nervously scratched the back of his neck. “If you don’t have anything to say, goodbye.”

            “Y/n wait, please.” She really thought she’d never see him again. Hoped she’d never see him again. “You and Changbin. Is it true you broke up?” She used to find his nervous habits cute. The way he’d kick his feet, scratch at his neck, barely make eye contact. But not anymore.

            “That’s not any of your business, San.” She answered.

            “Do you want to know why I actually broke up with you?” He asked before she could leave. The question had her stopping in her tracks. She thought she knew. He didn’t love her anymore. He forget everything about her, started to learn about someone new. “You’re right that our relationship was over long before either of us walked away, but do you know why?”

            “Because you fell out of love with me.” She answered, turning around to face him. He shook his head.

            “Because I knew you and Changbin didn’t really hate each other.” She let out a laugh. She remembers telling San all the things Changbin has done to her, said to her. All the times he made her cry. She would say his name with venom lacing her words. “It was only a matter of time before you saw what I did.”

            “What the fuck are you talking about? I despised him.”

            “I didn’t.” She whipped her head around to see Changbin standing there. “I never hated you. I’m just an idiot and a coward.”

            “I got to go.” She said, getting on her bike and leaving before either of them could say anything else. San nodded his head towards her, telling Changbin to go after her. He watched as Changbin rushed to his car, leaving as fast as he could, knowing he was right. He leaned against the bike rack, shoving his hands in his pockets, practically kicking himself for the words that came out of his mouth.

            That’s not how he wanted the talk to go. He just wanted to know if there was any hope for them to start again, but he knew by the look in her eyes when she saw him that the answer was no. It would always be no. He was too late.

~

            Changbin beat her to her house, standing in front of her steps by the time she made it home, a hopeful smile on his face. “Can we please talk?” She took in his appearance. The dark circles under his eyes, the holes in his shirt. It looked like he rolled out of bed and went to class, but why does she still find him attractive?

            “You look like a mess.” She said. He looked down at his outfit and chuckled, shrugging his shoulders, telling her he didn’t think he would be seeing her today, even though he wanted to. “Are you going to give me some cheesy speech about how you’ve always had feelings for me and that made you nervous so you said dumb things and that made me hate you?” He opened his mouth to dispute that but closed it and nodded. “Idiot.”

            “We’ve established that.” He said. She giggled and nodded. “So? Should we give us a real chance?” He looked at her with a hopeful look in his eyes, cocking his head slightly to the side as he waited for her answer.            

“Let’s go inside. We have a new episode of our show today.” She said, taking a step towards him, turning him around, and lightly pushing him up the steps, slipping her hand in his before she opened the door. He smiled at her, holding tighter so she couldn’t slip away this time.  

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[sageistrii]

So like I said if nothing has changed with Jimin's next album, then I'll have to accept that certain members which includes him are happy with where they are and with one member being favoured. And if that's the case then I don't see why I should be be bothered about something he isn't bothered about.

I think one thing we have to remember now more that ever is that whether Jimin (or any of the others) is bothered or not by these things or has even tried to address them, there is likely very little he could do about it. Regardless of whatever influence or power people expect the members to have within the company, we are now very clear on the extent HYBE can go to to attack a person if they don’t do as asked.

While we have to accept that the truth of this situation lies somewhere between Min Heejin’s and Hybe’s statements, I do think that Min Heejin gave us a LOT of info about the dynamics at Hybe. All of this is happening to her because of a history of disagreements (whether justified or not). She didn’t act the way they wanted her to, she complained about unfair requests of theirs and they wanted to put her in her place. This was just the moment for them to find actual ammunition against her because she decided to poke around and mess with ILLIT (and bruise Bang PD’s ego).

So if they can do this much damage to a top executive/creative who spearheads one of the company’s most successful groups because of disagreements (and big egos), why would they not do this to one of their idols? Again, I do not think that BTS members have even a fraction of the influence everyone expects them to have within that company which, just like this Min Heejin situation, sets a very concerning precedent.

You're right and that is exactly my point. If the members themselves can't make a change probably because they don't feel too strongly enough about it to make that change then why should I care?. If Jimin and the others feel like their situation was unbearable then they would cry out right? Or at least push hybe to give them something better. But while their current situation might not be the best, they seem to not care enough to change it so why should I be worried on Jimin's behalf?

The support will always be there, but like i said I will not be advocating for anything if we have a repeat of face era. I will enjoy the music and ignore every other thing. No essays, no screaming at hybe, nothing. There's a lot of mental and emotional energy being invested into doing these things and running a blog like this. During face and especially set me free pt2's release I was at the forefront telling everyone it's going to be ok and Jimin's debut will be one for the books, regardless of how weird things seemed at the time, and it was but I was actually affected by the whole thing. I always felt anxious and I couldn't eat (I'm not joking), because it seemed like as much as I tried to remain optimistic everything seemed to be going wrong at every turn. Sorry but I don't ever want to go through that again. I will just have to accept everything as is... for now at least, because I know if Jimin doesn't get what he deserves this year he would still get it eventually, his solo career isn't coming to an end and he is destined to be known as more than just "Jimin from BTS".

But this time, I don't think I have it in me to be as emotionally invested as I was with face. I will be here but I don't know how many more "Hybe hates Jimin" and "he's being sabotaged" posts I have left in me.

But regardless of hybe not doing their job,he is still going to do extremely well, that's for sure. But the thing is face also did well, that didn't stop the chaos.

[licorice-lips]

Hi, everyone! So, I know there's a lot of controversy about Rhys's behavior Under the Mountain (at least in Brazil fandom it's a hot topic), a discussion that is valid and definitely needs to be had, so I did a lot of research on the subject and compiled the three texts that influenced me the most into a compilation that I'll share here — along with my thoughts and additions.

These texts that serve as my supports were made here on Tumblr and can be found under the following titles, although the third one is the most comprehensive of them all:

*Rhysand's Defense Post (The author had only read A Court of Thorns and Roses when she wrote this).

*The Difference Between Tamlin and Rhysand: The Man on the Throne and the Man in the Arena — Acotar and Acomaf's Excerpt Analysis (The author was following the small teaser quotes for A Court of Mist and Fury and analyzed them).

*Understanding Tamlin and Rhysand — A Post-Acomaf Reconciliation of Rhys's Actions Under The Mountain in a Culture of Defeat.

In addition to discussing Rhys's behavior, however, I'm also going to discuss Tamlin's behavior and compare the two. It's going to be quite fun… Just a heads up that I don't want any hate messages. Do you want to share your thoughts agreeing or disagreeing? That's fine, but with respect. Any offensive comments will be deleted.

Now here's my defense post for Rhys:

Leadership is a heavy burden. When you're a leader, especially when it's not your choice but comes to you because of the family you were born into, for example, responsibility can be a burden. But when you're a leader, there's something very important to consider when making a decision: those who follow you.

All of Rhys's actions as High Lord of the Night Court must be thought of to put the well-being of those he is responsible for first. And when he, Tamlin, and the other High Lords are Under the Mountain, he decides that he will be Amarantha's whore to ensure that his Court is in the best possible condition within the situation — he lets himself be raped to ensure that his people and his family remain safe when he could have done nothing.

But from the moment Feyre strikes the deal with Amarantha, he is the only one who is truly in a position to make a difference: the other High Lords do not have enough of Amarantha's trust for her not to suspect anything if one of them tried to bargain with Feyre as Rhys did, for example. If any other High Lord — Kallias, Thesan, Helion, etc. — tried the same thing as Rhys, Amarantha would have been suspicious.

So in this case, he is the only one who can truly act.

But he doesn't have to. The point is that his Court is reasonably safe because of his role in the court Amarantha built, so Rhys doesn't really need to help Feyre win. But he does it, not because he wants his power back, but because he's the kind of leader who will do everything achievable to change — for what he believes is the best — the lives of his people.

And I'll talk about how admirable that is later on when we're talking about the culture of war and defeat, and about Tamlin's behavior. So, he decides to act, and he tells Feyre in A Court of Mist and Fury:

"I decided at that moment that I would fight. And fight dirty, and kill and torture and manipulate, but fight. If there was any chance of freeing us from Amarantha, it was you." (A Court of Mist and Fury, page 550, Brazilian edition)

He knows, then, that the fight he would have to wage was not the beautiful, heroic, noble thing we're so used to seeing: Rhys knew that his actions to ensure victory — for Feyre and Prythian as a whole — would be horrible and would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. He knows that. And he doesn't excuse himself for a moment. He doesn't invent, he doesn't embellish, he doesn't paint himself as a hero. He knows he's not and he really isn't a hero.

A hero is someone who sacrifices themselves in a grand gesture to save the entire population, a true hero doesn't really sacrifice one person to save others. And while Rhys does have his own share of sacrifices, that doesn't excuse him from the horrible actions he took Under the Mountain:

So, the first part of his questionable behavior in Under the Mountain comes to light: the moment he twists Feyre's injured arm to convince her, to scare her enough to accept his bargain. This is a minor moment and my description alone makes it understandable: he does what he does to keep her alive and charges an insignificant price (which he planned to release her from later, as he himself says) to keep up appearances.

And Rhys needs to keep up appearances because his whole game to defeat Amarantha depends on how he appears to her and to other people: no one can notice while he moves the pieces on the board to bring the advantage to them. No one, not even Feyre, who is the "lamb to the slaughter," so to speak. And she can't know for several reasons:

Feyre is not in a mental condition to act and pretend to hate him as much as he needs her to pretend. So if she knew what he was doing, she would probably let something slip, or wouldn't be convincing enough, because honestly? Who could?

Rhys spent the last 50 years fighting alone and being surrounded by people who constantly despised him for being Amarantha's whore or for those who tried to ingratiate themselves with her through him, so he doesn't trust others easily, even though he was falling in love with Feyre, as he says in ACOMAF.

He couldn't trust that Feyre wouldn't trust others — Lucien and, therefore, Tamlin — with this knowledge. With their mutual hatred, they would surely end up messing things up.

Feyre was there to protect the High Lord who killed his mother and sister — and Rhys didn't know that Feyre didn't know the history behind his and Tamlin's relationship — so, in theory, it made sense that he wouldn't want to show his "true face" to her.

That's exactly what the book is about: like a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, the book is about how appearances deceive. If Feyre found out that Rhys is a decent person right away, it would be the same as throwing the whole intention of the story out the window.

So we have the second — and most controversial of all — point: the dance and the wine. I'm not going to mince words about this: It was sexual harassment. Period. But with this, Rhys manages to:

Get Feyre out of her cell, which is driving her crazy, as she says in this part: "I was alone, locked in silence — although the screams in the dungeon continued day and night. When they became unbearable and I couldn't ignore them, I looked at the eye in my palm." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 356, Brazilian Edition). And let's face it, anyone would go crazy in an environment like that.

Keep an eye on Feyre so that no one else could harm her — something he disguises with a comment about not liking others to touch what's his — and that's a curious thing because Feyre never expresses concerns about being abused by others after Rhys starts taking her to these parties (it's also interesting to note that despite the various traumas of what happened Under the Mountain, Feyre never showed any signs of trauma from sexual abuse, as far as I know — and again, not that this excuses Rhys, it's just a factor to point out that maybe she understood his game better than we did).

To leave Tamlin full of anger — which he claims is the main reason for all that theater during A Court of Thorns and Roses — so that he wouldn't hesitate if he had the slightest chance to kill Amarantha in the end or between challenges, no matter as long as he didn't hesitate. Because from Rhys's perspective, Tamlin is the noble golden prince who might spare Amarantha's life to demand some kind of trial or something. Which I consider he might have been dumb enough to do too.

Divert Amarantha's attention, as, thinking that Feyre was already humiliated and abused enough during those nights, she wouldn't give Feyre those ridiculous tasks anymore (like cleaning that filthy hall or collecting lentils from Rhys's fireplace). And if you reread ACOTAR, she really never gives those small tasks to Feyre again after that.

Send a message to those who could read, as Rhys himself says: he crowns Feyre every night, and for the cruel ones, this would be a subtle kind of mockery, but for those who could see beyond the evil, Rhys was declaring Feyre the champion of them all. He declared that he believed in her and in her potential to free them all.

Convince Amarantha that he's still playing on her side — a belief that was shaken by Rhys betting on Feyre in the first task and closing that bargain to heal her arm. This might be the most fundamental of all points: the one that allows the game to continue toward victory. He needs to prove to Amarantha that he's doing it for fun, out of cruelty, considering Feyre as the whore of the whore, someone lower than the lowest of courtesans. Thus, Rhys clears the way to act when the time is right.

By taking Feyre with him to those parties, he moved not one, but six pieces of the game to be in his favor. He killed six birds with one stone. Strategically, it's an incredible tactic, by the way. But morally, this act leaves something to be desired.

So why the wine and the dance? Because Rhysand plays with appearances. Everything in his game depends on it.

Feyre wouldn't play the whore of the whore while conscious, no one with a shred of self-respect would accept that without knowing the reason behind it, and Rhysand, for the reasons I mentioned, wouldn't tell her anything. So he makes her drink the wine to keep the whole purpose of that show and keeps her close to prevent her from being touched by anyone other than him.

But besides that, the wine is a form of escape, a way to forget about the horrors, as Feyre herself says at the end of the chapter where all this happens:

"[…] and I began to long for the moment when Rhysand would hand me the goblet of faerie wine and I could let loose for a few hours." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 381).

In fact, Rhys sees it this way: when he is forced to kill the High Lord of the Summer Court (not Tarquin, but his cousin from whom he "inherited" the title, Nostrus), he himself drinks the wine with Feyre — it's an escape from the character he so carefully plays because not even Rhys can bear everything without letting the facade fall, even if only a little.

Note: not that I'm saying this would be a healthy way to deal with all that trauma and accumulated stress, but considering the place they were in and the situation, perhaps it was the most… effective way.

I have to say, however, that all of this doesn't justify what he did: it was still sexual abuse and it's still very bad and very serious. However, I need to point out to you: what we do to survive often does not reflect what we would be in a normal situation (normal being their everyday life without Amarantha, in this case).

When we are confronted with a situation like this, where to survive we end up needing to do something horrible, many say they would never do and would take the noble path of dying before giving up their values and principles, which is great, it proves that you have a very good character. The problem is that Rhys doesn't have the choice to think only of himself and how much this abuse will cost his dignity and principles because every decision he makes affects his people.

So here's my question for you: could you love someone who chose to preserve you instead of saving thousands of innocent — children, women, and men — who are under their responsibility?

Because I couldn't love someone who did that. And that's how I make peace with what Rhys did to Feyre Under the Mountain: I couldn't love someone who condemned the world to save me from abuse that I know I can endure — even if it causes me terrible harm.

Of course, it's entirely valid if you decide not to forgive him for what he did, because, after all, it's a morally gray action when you consider the whole situation they were in and what Rhys did. So, no one is really wrong for not forgiving Rhys for what he did, but those who forgive him aren't wrong either. It's very important that we understand that.

Now, an argument that is often used and that annoys me every time I hear it is that Sarah "changed Rhys and Tamlin's personalities because of shipping", so she ignored everything Rhys did Under the Mountain to make him the hero just because fans liked him. There are so many things wrong with that that I don't even know where to begin, but let's analyze all of Tamlin's, Feyre's, and Rhys's behavior throughout the ACOTAR and ACOMAF stories and show why I know Sarah did absolutely everything with careful consideration:

There is a trait that is very striking in Tamlin from the beginning of the ACOMAF story and is especially explicit when Alis tells the whole story about Amarantha, Tamlin, and the curse, which is the fact that Tamlin can't deal with the consequences of his actions:

The first time he does this is at the beginning of the curse when he gives up sending his soldiers to die for him, thus Tamlin simply gives up not only freeing himself but all of Prythian, all the people who live there, and still condemns the human lands in the process. He only started sending the soldiers out of desperation after 46 years, look at Alis's speech:

"For two years, he sent them, day after day, needing to choose who crossed the wall. When there were only a dozen left, Tamlin was so devastated that he stopped. He canceled everything." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 294, Brazilian Edition).

The second time I can point out is Feyre herself (this because I'm ignoring the events during her stay in the Spring Court, as I don't remember what happened): he takes Feyre to Prythian with the intention of making her fall in love with him, but at the first glimpse of direct danger from Amarantha — in this case, the scene where Rhys makes him kneel — he sends her away.

He gives up saving Prythian because he can't stick to the decision to put Feyre in danger so that she could break the curse, so much so that he condemns himself for it, because Feyre only doesn't say that she loves him — and breaks the curse — precisely because she's leaving:

"— I love you. — He said, and stepped back. I should say — should say those words, but they got stuck in my throat because… Because of what he needed to face, because maybe he wouldn't find me again, despite the promise…" (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 261, Brazilian Edition)

These are the main events, and perhaps I could list more for you if I reread A Court of Thorns and Roses. But what does this show us? That every time Tamlin makes a decision, he freezes and backs down at the first sign of an obstacle. He retreats and avoids anything that shakes him.

So it makes sense that Tamlin's reaction Under the Mountain is paralysis — a common behavior among leaders in times of war and defeat, by the way, which aligns not only with Tamlin's personality but also with the reaction of a true leader in such a situation.

Alright, let's stop there and go back in time to analyze Feyre's behavior:

Right from the start, we learn that, even being the youngest of three sisters, Feyre was the one who, when they were starving, took action and sought a solution, which shows us right away the kind of person Feyre is: she's the kind of person who acts when forced to face danger, whether it's something intangible, like death by starvation, or tangible, like Amarantha.

This is proven repeatedly throughout the books: when she seeks answers with the Suriel, when she tries to fight off the bastards who tried to rape her at Calanmai (because paralysis can also be a reaction to abuse of that kind), when she goes to Under the Mountain to fight for Tamlin without even hesitating, when she heals from the traumas of Under the Mountain as soon as she has something to focus on, something to dedicate herself to.

And this is one of the fundamental differences between Tamlin and Feyre: while he paralyzes, she acts, and whether we like it or not, differences create friction. Especially with what happened Under the Mountain because she and Tamlin were separated, and neither of them experienced trauma together. Paralysis generates a different trauma from the trauma of someone who is acting, so the end of their relationship begins when she goes to save him Under the Mountain — and Tamlin freezes.

Then we have Rhysand, who is exactly like Feyre: he acts when confronted with danger or defeat and has thousands of actions of his that exemplify this:

As soon as he becomes High Lord, he bans the wing clipping of Illyrian females regardless of the reaction of the Illyrian lords or what they thought about it. It's not that he doesn't care: Rhys, unlike Tamlin, is willing to pay the price that comes when a decision is made.

He becomes Amarantha's whore to protect his people from her getting too close to them. He doesn't care about the cost to himself simply because Rhys knows he's doing some good for his own people by letting himself be raped.

When he sees in Feyre the chance to do something to free all of Prythian, he goes all in knowing that that game would be total defeat or victory. He acts.

When Hybern starts threatening Prythian, he is willing to do whatever it takes — lose a potential friend, hand over the city he loved with all his heart to horrible women, give up his own life — so that they wouldn't fall into slavery again.

When the war comes anyway, he faces it head-on and uses every card he has to stop the King of Hybern: monsters of all kinds, all his power, his own life, and the truth about himself, about who he is.

And these are just a few examples. The fundamental difference between Tamlin and Rhys, just like between Tamlin and Feyre, is how they respond to situations and traumas.

Quoting Teddy Roosevelt (btw, this is a direct translation of the Portuguese version of the quote, so it can be different from the original):

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Feyre and Rhysand are the ones in the arena, they are the ones who fight to be able to act in the face of evil — Amarantha. And it's interesting to note that those who condemn Rhys for the dubious actions he took Under the Mountain never say anything about Feyre committing murder there as well, which is a crime as heinous (or at least should be when it comes to innocent people) as Rhys's.

I'll tell you why: when we're faced with a gray and complex character like Rhys — and we don't know his heart, instead we're "infected" with the main character's partial view — we tend to connect him directly with evil, instead of understanding that this character is neither wholly good nor bad. We forgive soldiers for killing people in a war — that's also a combat in Under the Mountain, so why can't we forgive both Rhys and Feyre?

We forgive Feyre because we know how sorry she is, we know her heart, and we love her. But Rhys? He's the High Lord of the Night Court — which alone triggers some unconscious alerts within us — and he's playing dirty, hiding, and being a horrible person, so why should he be forgiven?

That's what our brain unconsciously thinks sometimes, and it makes us judge some characters more severely. Understanding the duality and complexity of a character is not an easy task; it requires a lot of empathy and an open mind.

But why am I saying this? Because it's important to understand: Rhys and Feyre are extremely similar, and they understand each other at a fundamental level because of that. Tamlin, on the other hand, has a completely different personality. He's the one who freezes, who paralyzes.

Rhys and Feyre experience the trauma Under the Mountain together, so Feyre and Tamlin are separated, which, combined with the glaring difference between the two, makes it difficult — perhaps impossible — for them to heal together because, out of loyalty to the character's nature, Sarah can't make Tamlin talk about what's happening like Feyre needs.

Even after Under the Mountain, Tamlin's instinctive action is to freeze. So he doesn't talk about Feyre's nightmares, he pretends not to see her despair, he turns away from her need to talk about the subject — because looking at her trauma would be the same as acknowledging his own.

And he can't do that because it's part of his nature to freeze. But this isn't healthy, hence the explosions of anger, and hence he locks Feyre up the moment she tries to assert herself: these are the consequences of forcing someone who deals with PTSD by freezing to actually deal with their traumas (that and the fact that he's horrible).

I can understand that (not in his relationship with Feyre, I'm talking more generally here, about him as High Lord, he can rot otherwise) but I can't forgive it like I did with Rhys because, unlike the actions Rhys took, paralysis only allows evil to continue to grow and end up imprisoning us (this is, in fact, one of the reasons why Tamlin didn't try to fight like Rhys while Amarantha was killing Feyre: his lack of previous action left him unable to take action when it was time to "put up or shut up").

While Tamlin's paralysis pushes us down while doing us harm, Rhys's actions, as horrible as they may be, are done in the hope of something good, they're done to move us forward. I can forgive him because I'd rather be someone who does horrible things in the hope of creating something better than be someone who allows evil to continue to grow until it imprisons me.

It's that simple.

And Feyre is exactly that kind of person. She needs to act, she needs to talk about it to heal. She needs to have a purpose, not be coddled like Tamlin — and his trauma — wants her to be.

The relationship between her and Tamlin becomes abusive the moment he tries to stifle her feelings to maintain a state of paralysis. And that's something you'd expect from a character like Tamlin, that's how he was built. But this happens long before Under the Mountain: I remember that on the first day Feyre yields to the dresses Tamlin gave her in ACOTAR, I think it was the morning after Calanmai, she warns herself to be gentle, to be kind, when dealing with Tamlin and Lucien.

But after Under the Mountain, Feyre can no longer accept that her feelings be stifled simply because her traumas are consuming her from the inside out. So she fights back. And that's what completely ends their relationship.

But the point is: both Tamlin, Feyre, and Rhysand follow exactly the line of their personalities throughout the story. They are those kinds of people from start to finish. There's an evolution, of course, but it's an evolution of beliefs, opinions, and perceptions — their essences remain the same.

That's why Sarah is brilliant in these books: by being completely faithful to her characters' personalities, she created a story that discusses abusive relationships, the varied responses of certain types of people to trauma, and the various reactions of leaders in times of war and defeat.

But the point is: none of them were changed to fit a ship, simply because they weren't changed. All three of these characters act exactly the way they should within the limits of their own personalities.

Rhys is the High Lord who plays dirty to create a better world, and Tamlin is a leader who can't make a tough decision. And there's another fundamental difference between them:

While Rhys knows that, from time to time, he'll be forced to make decisions that will end up harming part of his people (and will choose the lesser of two evils), Tamlin still struggles with the enchanted vision of a superhero who saves everyone without exception. And when that doesn't happen — because it's never possible to save everyone no matter what you do — he prefers not to act.

I think the two things that illustrate very well the kind of person Rhys and Tamlin are is the Illyrian tradition of cutting the wings of their females and the Tribute:

Rhys risks a revolt to improve the lives of his people and sticks to that decision, willing to pay the price for it if the result is a better life for the Illyrian females, while Tamlin fails to abolish an extremely unnecessary tax because his inability to act makes him cling to archaic traditions like the Tribute.

So, yes, I forgive Rhys for what he did Under the Mountain, because I couldn't love someone who freezes and leaves me to die. I prefer to love someone who cares so deeply about something — a dream — that they're willing to fight and play dirty for it. And then go to battle to defend it.

Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to point out points that I didn't comment on; I'll try to respond to everyone's comments!"

#acotar #rhysand #feyre archeron #feysand #rhys acotar #books #fantasy books #sjm #sarah j. maas #sarah j maas #cassian acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #tamlin #tamlin acotar #morrigan

[crybabylulu]

Come home to me

(Sugar mama Lin Beifong x sugar baby reader)

Summary: shopping with Asami to get your mind off of Lin not being home (also if I haven’t stated there is an age gap obviously between Lin and reader) (also enjoy this sweet moment)

Lin has been in her office for four days now and I’m dying! I hate it here! I want my Linny! I rolled around in bed and tried to figure out something to do. A lightbulb went off in my head. I decided to call Asami. “Hello.” Asami said. “Hey, what are you doing right now?” I asked. “Nothing today but waiting for Korra to come home.” Asami sighed. “You wanna help me make bad decisions?” I asked. “Yes.” Asami said. “Yay! Come pick me up and let’s go to the mall.” I said. “I’m on the way.” Asami said and hung up. I laughed then went to get ready.

I heard honking from downstairs and I peeked out the window and saw Asami. I grabbed my bag then ran downstairs. When I got into the car we hugged. “What bad decision are we making at the mall?” Asami asked as she drove. “I need to pick up some outfits to make Linny wanna come home and fuck me in her office.” I said. “Please wipe down the office after you two are done but we are gonna pick the best outfits.” Asami said. “I really appreciate your help.” I said. “No problem! This is fun and you can help me pick out something I can wear for Korra.” Asami said. I nodded. “Also did you and Lin have to fuck in my closet?” Asami asked.

“Sorry.” I said. “It’s fine but like really?” Asami asked. “Blame Lin, she's the one that dragged me into the closet.” I said. “But you liked it.” Asami said. “Of course I did, how could I not?” I asked. Asami shook her head. We arrived at the mall and went inside. I was looking for lingerie and whatever makes me look like an assistant. We looked around in a shop trying to find something. “What about this?” Asami asked and held up an emerald green lace teddy bodysuit.

“So my pussy is just gonna be out.” I said. Asami laughed. “Hmm ok.” I said and took it. We continued to walk around. “What about this,” I grabbed a set for Asami. It was a dark red bra and panty set that came with garter belts. “Oooo.” Asami said and took it. “I think you’d look good.” I said. “I’m gonna get it.” Asami said. I nodded and we continued to walk around till Asami stopped me. “If you get it, I’ll get it.” Asami said and pointed at a set. It was a light blue bra and panty skirt set with ruffles and garter belts along with a collar leash.

“Does it come in green?” I asked. “No but it comes in pink.” Asami said. “I’ll take it.” I said. Asami grabbed a pink set for me and a light blue set for her. We paid for our outfits then went looking for an assistant outfit for me. My eyes widened as I had an idea. “Asami I need a tight pencil skirt. I'm gonna just wear one of Lin’s white button ups. She loses her mind when I wear one of them.” I said. Asami nodded and dragged me into a store. She found me a black pencil skirt that had a tiny slit in it then she grabbed some black stockings.

I paid for my stuff then Asami took me home. When I got home I realized it was almost Lin’s lunch time. “Oh god!” I shouted and tossed my bags on the floor then washed my hands. I don’t even know what to make! I opened the fridge and noticed there was left over noodles. I heated them up then packed up when they were done. I got everything together then rushed off to the station. I didn’t see Mako when I got there but shrugged it off and went upstairs. I knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Lin said. I went inside and closed the door behind me. “Hi honey.” I said. “Hello hon.” Lin said. “I’m sorry I’m a little late. I went out with Asami and lost track of time.” I said as I sat on the couch. “It’s ok baby.” Lin said and came to sit next to me. Lin took the lunch and I just relaxed as she ate. “Did you eat?” Lin asked. “Linny please.” I sighed out. “You need to eat.” Lin told me. “You need to come home.” I said. “ I told you I have to stay here for a while. I'll be home soon.” Lin said.

“When is soon?” I asked. “I wish I could tell you.” Lin said. “I just miss you.” I said softly. “I miss you too.” Lin said. Once she finished eating I laid my head in her lap. She ran her fingers through my hair. “What did you and Asami do?” Lin asked. “Shopping.” I said. “Of course.” Lin said. “I’m a girl, it's what I do.” I said. Lin just nodded. I closed my eyes and just relaxed into Lin’s touch.

I was slightly shaken awake. “Come on baby girl.” Lin said softly. “Five more minutes.” I whined. “No baby, you can’t stay here the whole night. Let’s go home.” Lin said. She picked me up and carried me out of her office. “Home?” I asked. “Yes baby home.” Lin said. Lin sat me in her car and buckled me up then took me home. She carried me up to our apartment. “Are these the things you bought while with Asami?” Lin asked. “Yes.” I said. Lin picked up the bags then took me into the bedroom. I was laid down but I quickly sat up. “Shower.” I said. “I’ll start your shower then I have to go back to work.” Lin said.

“No stay.” I said. “Hon I have to,” “No.” I said as I got up and gave her a hug. “Ok, ok. I’ll stay tonight but tomorrow,” I nodded. “I know, I know. Just stay with me for the night.” I said. Lin kissed my head then we took a shower. She washed my body then I washed hers. “Asami knows we fucked in her closet.” I said. “She does?” Lin asked. I nodded my head. “Well if she and Kya know then that means everyone else knows as well and as they should. Everyone needs to know you’re mine.” Lin said.

“Are the hickeys not enough for everyone to know who I belong to?” I asked. “Nope.” Lin said. I rolled my eyes. “You know it’s not enough, that's why you kept screaming my name and didn’t you say how you belonged to me while I was three fingers deep inside of you.” Lin said as she pulled me close to her. “Lin.” I said. “I’m surprised you took three fingers, do you think you can do that again for me?” Lin asked. “Oh you wanna fuck me now?” I asked. “Unless you don’t want to.” Lin said. I thought about my plan and I’m not gonna let her ruin it!

As horny as I am, I must keep my legs closed. I’m gonna make her wait. “I want us to cuddle tonight.” I said. “Ok.” Lin said and kissed my cheek. I smiled. We finished our shower together. Lin dried me off then helped me put on my nightgown. She brushed my hair then laid me down. “I can’t believe I fell asleep in your office.” I said. “You had a long day of being out with Asami.” Lin said. “I know but still. I’m surprised that you let me sleep for so long.” I said. “I didn’t want to wake you.” Lin said as she put on her tank top.

“Mhm sure.” I said. “It’s true, you were sleeping so peacefully.” Lin said. “I’ll sleep even more peacefully when you come to lay with me.” I said. “I’m coming.” Lin said as she got into the bed. I laid my head on her chest and she rubbed circles on my back.

#chief of police lin beifong #sugar mama lin beifong #tlok lin #lin beifong #lin is fine asf #lin beifong x reader #asami sato #tlok lin beifong #tlok asami #tlok

[bradshawssugarbaby]

I really really hate that I even feel the need to write this. I've got back and forth over it a lot over the last 36 hours - it's not something that I've taken lightly or done without a lot of thought, but I have to do what is best for myself, and more importantly, my family. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE a lot of people I've met thanks to the TGM fandom. My personal interactions with everyone have been (for the most part) nothing short of lovely. I feel spoiled with how good my experience on here has been over the past six months since I joined in to this. I've made some great friends and rediscovered my passion for writing and reading, I've found myself some really good creative outlets for my ADHD and mental health struggles, and I'm SO thankful for it. BUT. I can no longer be part of a community where I don't feel safe. I love writing. I love fanfiction. I love writing fanfiction where Bradley Bradshaw is a baseball player. I love writing silly little stories based off country songs I love where Jake Seresin asks you to marry him while quoting Florida Georgia Line. I love writing smut with no plot about Bradley and Bob, and Jake, and Goose - I write because I love it. However, I can't love something if the community makes me genuinely afraid and concerned for not only my own safety, but the safety of my child, and the safety of my friends. Doxxing is dangerous. End of story. It can cost innocent people everything. Everything. Jobs. Families. Lives. It's irresponsible and foolish, and comes with serious real life consequences, not just for the person who you decide to target. It creates a domino effect. I don't know about y'all, but I don't wish to take part in a community where I feel constantly worried someone is going to be out to ruin my life if I don't agree with them on something. If I post a fic that might be similarly written to someone else's. If I don't answer a request in my inbox. If I just do something that generally pisses someone off. It's not productive for my own mental health, and honestly? It's taken any enjoyment out of this for me. So, this is me - saying that indefinitely, I'm going on hiatus. I'm still deciding the future of this blog and my future on Tumblr in general. I might come back when I feel safe once again. I might never come back. I might do an overhaul and change my URL. I might make a whole new account. I don't know. Thanks for the fun times and the love on my stories since I joined in October. I appreciate everyone who has made me feel so welcomed and accepted on here, and taken me from being a sad, depressed housewife with ADHD to feeling myself again. Hopefully this isn't goodbye, it's just see you later, but we'll see how things pan out.

-- Haley 💜

P.S. Whoever is responsible for this? I hope you're happy. I hope nothing more that you're happy and can sleep well at night knowing you've taken something that so many of us use as an escape from reality, as fun and enjoyment, and completely destroyed it without a second thought.

#top gun maverick #hiatus #tgm