#I’ve seen this too many people focus on the wrong things

[local-space-gay]

“the story was too simple and predictable” hard disagree. The plot did not need to be this crazy complicated scheme. Because the movie was never about the objective plot. Or the worldbuilding. Or the plot twists. It’s about NIMONA and what she represents. The insane amount of layers to the allegories behind her shapeshifting and the wall and the institute are what make this movie so good. It’s simple but it’s EFFECTIVE and it works SO WELL. If the movie was focused more on the world around them instead of the central characters it probably would have lost so much of that sweet sweet symbolism and allegory you get when they interact.

#anyway #I’ve seen this too many people focus on the wrong things #and not really understand the point #of the movie #so like #yeah #nimona #nimona movie #netflix #nd stevenson #nimona netflix #nimona film #animation

[astrobydalia]

more observations (lost count)✨

Hello guys! Life's been crazy lately and I barely have time to make any of the master posts I wanted to, so you'll be getting lost of observation posts that I've been collecting in my drafts for the past months. As always, enjoy!

❗️long post

work by astrobydalia

✨ Sagittarius and Aquarius are so fucking similar. Both of them are chaotic af, love their freedom and think they're smarter than everyone else. People who have both of these in their big 6 have the most unhinged

✨ Libra is WAY more obsessed with perfection than Virgo

✨ Whenever I had Libra or Taurus ASC on my Solar return chart I was lazy AS FUCK. I had no motivation to work whatsoever during those years, all I wanted to do was vibe and enjoy life. I also felt very relaxed and stress-free, when difficulties came I just went with the flow

✨ What is up with Gemini risings and always feeling intellectually insecure all the time? Literally their #1 insecurity is feeling like they are dumb or like they’re not good enough for highly abstract and intellectual tasks/professions. They come across as someone immature who lacks wisdom or has a superficial/simplistic view of things. I feel like this is because they attract people who are a bit of know-it-alls (Sagittarius DSC) and they have a reputation for being scattered-brained (Pisces 10th house) so people tent to infantilize them a lot.

^^^But let me tell you this not true at all, Gemini risings are some of the most brilliant people I’ve met with so much potential. Their problem is that they allow overthinking to get the best of them and end up doubting themselves 24/7. These are the type of people who have amazing ideas but they never pursue any them. They really struggle making decisions for themselves, they always need to ask for opinions first which is not a bad thing but this makes them come across as incapable or as someone who lacks self-sufficiency

✨ Mercurial signs (Virgo and Gemini) like to focus on concrete things and immediate reality, they process life by connecting one thing at a time and taking info as it comes, they focus on what's going on around them cause Mercury is all about multiplicity and details. With Jupiter signs on the other hand (Sag and Pisces) one thing about them is they don't care about details as long as things make sense as a whole, they see life from a more broad and general perspective, they prefer having a birds eye view of things because Jupiter is all about expansion and therefore it likes to encompass many things at once. This is why Virgo and Gemini rule mundane life themes and immediate reality while Sag and Pisces are more about general life lessons and higher knowledge

✨ Scorpio moons/8th house moons are the definition of an energy vampire fr. They just have a really poor understanding of healthy emotional boundaries, they expect you to give your all but aren't willing to reciprocate and always turn everything into a manipulation or mind game somehow which makes it pretty exhausting to be around them in the long run. Don't get me wrong, most of the ones I’ve met were very and good people but they always end up taking my energy away and make me feel emotionally burnt out

✨ Mercury-Mars aspects have this "it is what it is" mentality and really dislike over complicating things by reading too deep into them. They tend to think things exactly as they seem. This does not mean they're simplistic, on the contrary this makes them surprisingly insightful fast thinkers and are not the type to be easily fooled

✨ I've seen people saying that hard aspects between Mercury-Pluto makes people misunderstand your words. This is not true, this happens with Neptune cause Neptune rules delusion, but Pluto is a very blunt and straightforward planet cause it's all about revealing the dark truths. Mercury-Pluto aspects makes someone very deliberate with their words and they know exactly what to say to make their message stick. You will understand their words exactly how they want you to understand them. What happens with hard aspects is that the native tends to have a more provocative approach in the things they say, they don't care if you're offended by what they say as long as what they say makes an impact. People can misunderstand their intentions because of this, but not their words

✨ The ironic thing about Aquarius placements is that they are very good when it comes to connecting with the masses, the public usually feels very drawn to them because they're very good at appealing to collective values which makes them come across as relatable to many people as a result. However, when you actually try to relate to them or connect one-on-one, you will find yourself with someone that is surprisingly elusive, distant and more distrustful than Scorpio placements which is a huge contrast from the welcoming vibe they give off to the public. I've found that the only way you will get close to an Aquarius placements is on THEIR terms lmao, if they've decided they like you, it'll be them who will approach you and/or make the effort to engage with you

✨ A reocurring thing I've seen with Virgo placements is that they really dislike big changes and prefer to stay in control. I think this is not mentioned often cause it's kinda weird to say that about a mutable sign, but Virgos being mercury+earth ruled they feel comfortable relying on facts, data, observations, etc and they use all this tangible info to navigate reality, that's why they rule daily life and routines because they invest a lot of their energy on factually understanding and categorizing their reality (earth signs in general are very attached to the tangible). Their mutable nature shows in that they easily use their knowledge to adapt, find solutions and fix what’s wrong but when they are in situations where these "categories" prove to be useless (aka Pisces themes), they get very triggered cause that means they no longer have control of their reality

✨ That being said another reoccurring thing I’ve noticed with Virgo placements is that they love to predict things. But not in a mystical sense it’s more like they enjoy understanding things in such way that they’re able to easily put a label on them and easily predict what’s going on or how something works

✨ I have not seen a single Taurus placement who didn’t have the most insanely sexy and pleasant voice ever. Doesn’t matter if they sing of not, just hearing their voice is so delightful

✨ Aquarius Mercury really believe their opinions are the most ultimate and correct opinions out there. They are certain that their judgment is always 100% objective (aka always true) so in their mind if you slightly disagree with them that means you’re mediocre, dumb or narrow-minded.

✨ There's always a duality in all mutable signs. Sagittarius can be very humorous and optimistic but also very dark and profound. Gemini can be curious and chaotic but also very analytical and logical. Virgo can be picky and perfectionistic but also very permissive and conformist. Pisces can be very compassionate and wise but also very detached and clueless

✨ Neptune does not do well in air houses/signs at all simply because air energy rules (different types of) information and connections, while Neptune is all delusion and confusion. Also air energy is purely cerebral and rational while Neptune appeals to the unconscious

✨ I have not fact-checked this but I feel like it's safe to say that Mars rules testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone associated to violence or impulsive behavior, sex drive, red blood cells (blood), masculinity, etc That's literally all mars

✨ People always talk about how Capricorn moons have had a rough life but I've noticed this is also very true for Sagittarius Moons?? Responsibilities are not imposed on them like Capricorn, in their case they have to build up wisdom about life through pure and raw experience without anyone giving them a heads up or any pointers first, that's why they grow up feeling like they're fully on their own. Things work out for them at the end but they always have most MESSY life experience it's really crazy

✨ Both domicile and afflicted Mars are ambitious and determined but the main difference is that Libra/Taurus/Cancer Mars need to find some type of enjoyment or fulfillment in their goals in order to get motivated while Capricorn/Aries/Scorpio Mars find motivation in the challenge and endure through stuff they don't find pleasant

✨ From what I've seen males with Scorpio placements are very superficial and will gaslight as a lifestyle. They are the type of people who look the other way or brush things off or never takes anything seriously and I've noticed they do this so they never have to take accountability.

✨ Neptune/Pisces energy either gives “glamorous and ethereal” vibes or “weird in an extremely cringe way” vibes, there’s no in-between

✨ A reoccurring thing I've noticed with those who have Chiron in Taurus/2nd house or Chiron-Venus is that they often have dubious morality or double standards because they don't have a solid values

✨ Every single Libra Moon/rising female I’ve met embodied the material girl stereotype. They really have this “instagram girl” vibes to them if that makes sense

✨ Those with Sagittarius in the 5th house can actually find a lot of joy and happiness in becoming parents or they have a lot of fun with children

✨ Scorpio Mars can't stand not knowing what's going on around them and at first I thought this was bc they were suspicious/paranoid but then I realized it’s because they’re just controlling as shit. They come across as very chill and care fee but they’re actually SUPER controlling dude. Even when they know for sure that they can trust you and you’re doing nothing wrong they still want to keep taps on you and won’t leave you alone. They won't bluntly violate your privacy but will still find ways to always know what you're up to

✨ The resentful and spiteful stereotype associated to Scorpio actually belongs to Leo placements imo. They can be very reactive and childish when you insult their ego and will make it very known that they won't let it go

✨ Cancer North Node people always have some sort of issue or inner conflict with of having kids. They feel drawn to the idea of becoming a parent but deep down they low-key don't? I've also seen many women with this placement who had fertility issues

I have the theory that these natives are conflicted in this topic because they see family as an achievement or a societal expectation (Capricorn south node) so in this life time they have to know what it's like to desire a family for the right reasons and not because they feel like they 'should'

✨ Capricorn risings really are hyper-aware of their public image and how others perceive them. That's why they always end up becoming very popular and respected, cause they know very well where they "stand" publicly so they know how to successfully curate their own reputation. It's not surprising to see this placement a lot in celebrities

✨ Pluto in the 12th house are genuinely unsure of who they can trust which leads to a lot of paranoia and projection. The type to ignore the most obvious red flags but then automatically doubt your loyalty cus you spoke in a suspicious tone

✨ Pisces/12th house placements 🤝 disappearing. Y’all shit on Gemini for ghosting but have you ever met a pisces/12th houser?

✨ Saturn in 5th house people had parents (namely father) who were overly critical of them and their self-expression. Doesn’t necessarily mean they were unsupportive of the native but they were quite hard on the native’s creativity

✨ I've seen a lot of bullies/mean girls have Aquarius placements. Honorable mentions: virgo, Leo, libra

✨ Neptune-ASC people are really good at making themselves invisible when they want and/or making parts of themselves go completely unnoticed even if they're bluntly obvious. I've noticed they actually get away with a lot cause they have this tendency to not be accurately seen by others if that makes sense

✨ Neurodivergent individuals usually have Mercury harshly aspecting (conjunction, square, opposition and inconjuction) Uranus and Saturn. Said Mercury is more often than not in a water house/sign/degree or in Aries. Of course not everyone with these aspects will be neurodivergent, but it's just a pattern I've seen

✨ Pluto-ASC people most of the times fail to have a lighthearted view towards life. They always want to look beyond the surface of things which doesn't really allow them to enjoy life as it is. They often get a reputation for looking too deep into everything and in turn the Pluto-asc native often sees others as superficial

✨ Virgo risings are huge conformist and won’t go after anything that’s outside their immediate boundaries. They only make an effort towards things that are accessible and will quickly lose interest in anything that has difficult availability or requires them to go way out of their comfort zone. They're overall pretty self-serving.

✨ I know several people diagnosed with OCD. All of them have Virgo AND 6th house placements, 22º in their big 3, Scorpio Mercury/Moon and Mercury dominance

work by astrobydalia

#astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #birth chart #astrobydalia #scorpio #astronotes

[primehyuck]

MOVES

aka good things take time (the happy ending version)

word count: 11.3k

i first started writing this because i’ve been listening to the song Moves by Suki Waterhouse on repeat, but it became much more than that

contents: long time best friend!haechan, slice of life, pining and yearning, chronological time jumps (mostly college and young adulthood), other members mentioned (Mark and Jeno!roommates), kissing, fluff, wet dreams, a good example of two people who seriously need to communicate, face sitting, morning sex, lots of pet names

“Do you think we’ll be friends for a long time?” Haechan’s soft voice distracts your attempt to focus on a blade of the blurry ceiling fan, unable to keep you cool despite it spinning so fast you think it might fly away.

“How do you mean?” the bed squeaks when Haechan sits up to lean over you.

“Growing up, I feel like my parents didn’t have many friends aside from each other. My mom told me that it’s because when you get older your priorities change and you realize who adds value to your life, and that’s who you decide to keep.” His eyes are glowing with sincerity, body blocking the flow of air from touching you at all “so when we’re older, and married with kids and other priorities, and we maybe live in different cities, do you think we’ll still be friends?”

You stare at him for a moment before shoving his face out of the way of the fans air stream.

“Definitely,” your confidence soothes him enough that he lays back down “if I ever muster up the creativity to come up with a reason to stop being your friend, you have to swear you’ll tell me how stupid I’m being, swear to me.” you smack his chest before he can even answer.

“I swear!” He smiles to himself, staring up at the ceiling with you, rubbing his hand over the warm spot where your hand made contact, melting into the mattress.

———

Growing up people always joked that Haechan and you would fall in love, that it was inevitable, practical even. Because, if you fall in love with your best friend you’ve already conquered one of the highest mountains - finding someone that you like, and who likes you back.

You had both seen the other in a relationship, an inevitability when you’ve been friends with someone since puberty. He’d cheered you on when you had your first kiss during a game of spin the bottle in high school, forced you to come out on double dates with him and a friend of his you didn’t even like just so he could take someone else out, and freshman year of college he’d even introduced you to the person you'd lost your virginity to.

The only time he cockblocked you was when you tried to get to know any of his friends more than platonically, so eventually you gave up and settled for real friendship with all of them.

“Trust me, you don’t want to touch him with a six foot pole.” He’d said freshman year when you had mentioned your attraction to his roommate, Mark.

“He seems so nice, though.” you pouted

“He is nice, but that doesn’t mean you want to be with him.”

“How would you know what I want?” you scoffed, and he looked at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Has the wind beneath my wings ever led you into the wrong arms?” He was highly animated, offended that you would question his judgment.

By the start of sophomore year it was obvious to everyone else that you were strictly off limits. All of his friends had decided unanimously that even if you did attempt anything with them they had no choice but to shut you down. The cold stare Haechan unknowingly serves them from across the room whenever they got too close was enough to keep them away. None of the boys ever minded the boundaries with you, there always was an ease in your friendship since they all knew it could never go further, but that didn’t mean they never thought about the possibility.

One night, at the end of junior year, Haechan is nowhere to be found at his own party and you graciously accept Jeno’s invitation upstairs when you complain of a headache, “we can play Mario Kart, and it won’t be all competitive like when Haechan plays with us.”

It starts like normal, and you're having fun when you realize that your tipsy brain can’t focus on the screen and the conversation simultaneously, opting for the latter as you relax into Jeno’s pillows. You don’t even notice him inching closer to you until his nose touches yours, tugging at a strand of your hair. This is the first time any of Haechan’s friends have shown interest in you, you’d never even been on the receiving end of a flirtatious stare from across the beer pong table, so you take the reins.

Kissing Jeno feels a little bit like winning, like you’ve finally made it past the invisible forcefield Haechan had put up around his friends. The kiss is lazy and hot, Jeno props himself up on one elbow and presses your back into the mattress with his chest. Your eager fingers run beneath his shirt, his abs tightening when you trail them over his sides. Your spine tingles when he groans into your mouth, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your knee and hike your leg over his hip. His hand holds strong around your thigh, and you sigh when he grinds into you.

Jeno pulls away too soon, stopping your hands reaching for the hem of his shirt with a pained sigh as he drops your leg to roll onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes.

“Fuck, I should not be doing this with you.”

“Why, you don’t want to?” You want to curl into yourself, sitting up to stare down at his shaking head.

“No, definitely not that.” he pulls his arm away to meet your eyes, the alcohol in his veins making him brave enough to admit “Haechan would be pissed.”

“Haechan?” you question “did he say something to you?” Jeno groans, sitting up and hooking his elbows around his knees, staring at the mattress between his legs.

“No, no. He’s never actually said anything,” he knows he’s revealing too much, but he also knows he’s gone too far to stop “we just know he would never want us to cross that line with you.”

“We?” you can feel embarrassment bubbling in your chest at the idea of all of your friends talking about this.

“Yeah, you know, all the guys. We figured you were just off limits, I don’t know.” he grimaces, looking up at you with apologetic eyes when you don’t respond. You huff and climb off the bed, feeling rejected in more ways than one.

You’d crossed a boundary tonight, but Jeno was still a close friend, someone you’d spent a lot of time with since he met Haechan freshman year. He still knows you, so he grabs your wrist before you can leave, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed so he can stand you between his legs.

“I’m sorry, don’t be mad.” He envelops your hands in his and brings them to his chest.

“I’m not mad,” you mumble, avoiding his apologetic gaze “I’m embarrassed that all of my friends agreed not to touch me.”

“Did you really think not a single one of us was ever interested in you?” you shrug and he squeezes your hands tighter, heart tugging in his chest.

“When people don’t act interested, that’s usually a safe assumption.” you pout and Jeno’s laugh buzzes through your linked fingers "I gave up on all of you halfway through freshman year."

“Well, some of us are better actors than I remember.”

He has you laughing by the time you leave his room, sealing the night with one more self indulgent kiss and a pinky swear to never tell Haechan about what happened.

———

Halfway through the first semester of senior year Haechan bangs angrily on his roommates door before swinging it open and Jeno is genuinely shocked that it's taken this long for the gossip to hit his ears. The rest of the boys had clocked Jeno the next morning for being ‘too happy’ and he had to make them all swear not to tell, wanting to protect your pride and his own friendship with Haechan.

"You slut!" Haechan points an accusatory finger in Jeno's direction, dragging his feet slowly toward him until he's so close Jeno has to bat his hand out of his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Haechan's voice is low and angry, something new and unpleasant sparking in his gut at the idea of Jeno kissing you, touching you.

"No, I don't." Jeno can’t help but antagonize. Pleased with the perfect opportunity to trick Haechan into saying out loud what everyone else seems to have known for years.

"You kissed my best friend!" He shrieks, tossing his hands up in the air dramatically.

"So what, she's not allowed to kiss people?" Haechan squints his eyes at Jeno’s response, scrunching his nose in annoyance “how did you even find out?”

"She can kiss whoever she wants, it's all of you that aren't allowed to kiss her." Haechan waves his hand wildly toward the bedroom door, alluding to the large group of boys living in the house “you know Mark can’t keep a secret, he’s been bursting at the seams for months. All I had to do was ask.”

"It happened forever ago dude, why are you so pissed? You've never even given us a chance to get close to her in that way, maybe one of us could really like her." Jeno reasons, tugging at Haechan's strings, watching the gears in his brain turn as he tries to come up with a real argument.

"She has a boyfriend," Haechan finally says with a frown at the thought of the guy he’d only recently met, he doesn’t like him at all. From his stupid hair to the shoes he wears, there’s not a thing about your new boyfriend that Haechan thinks is good enough for you. He collapses into the gaming chair across from where Jeno is relaxed on the couch, not having moved at all since Haechan stormed in "plus, I think any of you would know by now, you've all known her for four years."

"I think, that it can take a lot longer than four years to realize how much you like someone." Jeno bites, "how long have you known her?"

"Since middle school." He picks at the hole in the knee of his black jeans, realizing what Jeno is alluding to, defensive exterior quickly crumbling.

"Right, I think that if you're blind enough then it can take ten years to realize how much you like someone."

"Well, maybe ten years is too long and that person missed their chance." Haechan turns his head to stare out the window, anxiously spinning the chair side to side.

"You know I'm talking about you, right?"

"God, yes, I know you're talking about me." Haechan glares at his friend, fidgeting stopping abruptly "and I know I've been a complete idiot about it, but like I said, I’m out of time."

———

Haechan can’t stop his free hand from clenching and unclenching as you sob into your pillow, his less angry hand rubbing over your back.

“He told me he saw us moving in together after graduation,” your voice shakes “how do you look someone in the eyes and say shit like that and then sleep with someone else?”

“I don’t know,” Haechan replies earnestly, feeling as helpful as flip flops in the snow from where he sits on the edge of your mattress “I’m so sorry.”

He takes your silence as an invitation, lying on his stomach, face turned toward you, fingers still drawing soothing circles over your shoulder blades. He waits patiently for you to calm down, unease swarming his stomach knowing that even after years of friendship he can’t truly comfort you in this moment.

“I’m so embarrassed.” you sniffle, smearing your face over your pillow before turning to look at him. He holds his breath, waiting for you to collect yourself enough to explain.

“I’m so gullible, he even told me he’s cheated in the past and for whatever reason I believed that he’d treat me differently, that he’d love me enough.” Haechan has to count to five in his head to stay calm before he speaks.

“You have no reason to be embarrassed. The most natural thing you can do is believe someone when they say they love you.” He murmurs, turning onto his side so he can pull you into a hug. When you curl into his body to bury your face in his chest he can only pray you can’t hear his heart pound against his ribs.

“He’s an idiot, and he didn’t deserve any of the love you gave him. I promise, you’re so much better off.”

Haechan hates the piece of himself that’s relieved your relationship has ended. The same piece that hated your ex the minute he met him, that feels heavy in your absence whenever you’re busy with anyone who isn’t him. The piece that crosses it’s fingers whenever you get this close in hopes that you’ll be the first one to cross the line, to finally do what he’s thought about doing for the last few months since he realized exactly how he felt about you.

“Thank you,” you mumble into his tear dampened shirt, lifting your leg over his to cuddle in even closer “thanks for always being my friend, even when I do dumb shit, like let boys be mean to me.”

He nuzzles his nose into your scalp, eyes fluttering shut at the smell of your shampoo “Thanks for letting me. Besides, even Beyoncé got cheated on, so you clearly aren’t that dumb.” the crowd in his brain cheers when you giggle into his chest.

“You’re so annoying.” He holds you even tighter.

———

“I can’t believe it,” your jaw drops and Haechan whips his head up nervously to look at you from across the couch

“What happened?”

“I got it, I got the job!” you shove his feet off your lap to jump up excitedly, bouncing on your toes as you read the email out loud. Haechan’s ears are ringing so loud he barely catches the first half, trying to shake off the dazed look he’s sure appears on his face.

“We were extremely impressed with your resume and even more so with the impression you left on the board during your interview, blah blah blah, excited to offer you this position, blah blah blah, and a relocation bonus to join us in in our new office!” the pitch of your voice rises a few octaves as you finish reading.

Haechan stares at you from his spot on the couch, eyes wide with shock that you’re too excited to notice, skimming your screen as you re-read the details in your offer letter.

His entire body is buzzing, torn between feeling excited at your accomplishment and sorry for himself.

He had a plan, a really good one, he thought. After your breakup you’d made it painfully clear that you wanted to be single for a while, and he knew if he could just be patient, it would all be worth it. So Haechan decided to bottle his feelings up, sitting patiently by your side where he had been for so many years, waiting for you to heal and hoping that when you were finally ready to start dating again he’d have mustered up the courage to make the first move.

“Lee Donghyuck, are you even listening to me!?” you drop your phone to pull him up off the couch, bouncing up and down with your fingers intertwined “I’m moving to my dream city, to start my dream job.” you reiterate and he snaps out of it, sweeping the imaginary shards of glass that his plan had been made out of under the rug and pulling you into a hug.

“That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.”

“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.” You deadpan, but squeeze him back just as tight.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to miss you is all.” He admits, "I'd follow you if my job didn't keep me here."

“I’ll make sure you don’t miss me too much, don’t worry.” you plant your cheek on his chest, surprised at the relief you feel in hearing him say it first.

———

This feeling was still a little unfamiliar, nerves. Haechan had never made you nervous growing up; excited, annoyed, passionate maybe, but never nervous.

The nerves began last summer, when he’d come out to visit you for the first time to celebrate his birthday. It was the longest you’d gone without seeing each other since you’d met, almost ten full months and the anticipation was palpable.

When he steps through the airport doors you think that it’s the relief of finally being near him again that knocks the wind out of you. Running into his open arms and being squeezed so tightly in them that you tap his shoulder to let you breathe. Ruffling his hair when he steps back and ignoring the fact that he had grown so much since you’d seen him last.

But as the night goes on, the slight changes to the person you have memorized become glaringly obvious. The way his cheeks have lost some of their cushion, revealing a sharp jaw and pointed cheekbones. The natural wave in his once unruly hair now falling perfectly over his brow bone, he had dyed it a little darker which made his tan skin glow even in dim lighting. Even his smell seemed to draw you into a trance, a much more expensive version of the Haechan you know.

“You know, that group of girls has been staring over at you since we walked in.” You raise your eyebrows playfully, pointing your glass toward the pretty gaggle that keeps walking past the booth you and Haechan occupy.

He doesn’t break eye contact with you before shrugging, “I didn’t come here to see them, I came to see you.” he smiles, punctuating his thought by reaching over the table and tapping your nose.

“I know, I know,” you laugh, batting him away “It never hurts to know when people are staring, though”

His face is unreadable as he rests his arm lazily up over the bench of the booth, body sinking into the seat while he lifts his glass to swirl his drink, biting the words that have been resting on the tip of his tongue the entire trip, and at the end of every phone call since you started your new job.

“How are you, seriously.” You push. In the time since you moved he’d started and ended a relationship with a girl that you’d never met. Your new job kept you so busy that you hadn’t even learned about the breakup until a week later, when you finally had the time to call him back. The guilt of your absence weighs you down, resenting your inability to be there for him the way he had been for you in the past.

“I’m over it, seriously.” You know he’s telling the truth, but it’s in your nature to pry.

“You never really talked about, why, you know.”

“Do I have to?”

“No, I’m sorry, I just feel so behind on your life.” You sigh and push your empty glass to the side, swirling your finger in the ring of cold water it leaves behind.

“It’s okay, really. You’ve been busy, I understand.” He reaches across the table to stop your anxious fingers “I didn’t love her the way I knew I should, that’s all. It’s a good thing that it ended, and I’m happy that it did.”

“That’s all that matters, then.” and he’s grateful that you drop the subject.

You eventually get back to your apartment, both giggly and flush from the alcohol still fogging your brain despite the long walk you'd hoped would lessen it. Haechan holds your hand the whole way back, even when he stops suddenly to pet a dog, dragging you down to the ground with him. He can’t help himself, grateful that at this point you'd touched one another in every way other than what he dreams about most, and you seem oblivious to his need to be so close to you.

As you get ready for bed he lets himself watch you undress facing the wall away from him, unaware of his gaze burning into your backside and the way his fingers tingle at the thought of pulling at the meat of your hips. He scolds his heart for thudding so loud when you squeeze your eyes into a smile at his reflection standing next to yours at the sink while you brush your teeth, the domestication of your friendship that he used to appreciate now suffocating him.

You put on a movie and invite him to rest his head on the pillow in your lap, wishing he could bury his nose into the skin of your thighs beneath it. Halfway through the movie he has to sit up to hide the way his cock is hardening at the feeling of your nails combing through his hair and down his shoulder, occasionally thrumming over his chest. He pulls a blanket off the back of the couch and tosses it over his legs as casually as possible, pulling you into his side by your shoulder, the other arm stretched across the back of the couch.

"Are you cold for the first time in your life?" Haechan never wants to use a blanket, but you’re grateful for the position giving you access to bury your face into his chest, gripping his shirt.

"No, just want to be warmer." he presses a blushing cheek onto the top of your head, trying to think of anything except the way your hair smells, or the feeling of the side of your breast brushing his wrist through your shirt. Haechan feels eighteen again and like he's discovering the connection between romantic and sexual feelings for the first time in his life. He tries to match his breathing to yours, holding his breath whenever you shift in his hold and reconnecting his stomach with your back as quickly as possible. The temptation to pour his heart out is overwhelming, but when he feels your body completely relax into his and your breathing slow down, the words become trapped in his throat, so he lets you sleep.

Haechan had never experienced a shorter 48 hours than that weekend he spent following you around the city you now call home.

You’re shining in your new space, and he happily trails behind you to all the places you’ve discovered in the almost year since you moved. His stomach does somersaults whenever you point something out that reminds you of him.

“I’ve been waiting to come here until you could come with me!” you're so excited to take him to the video game themed coffee shop that your co-workers had recommended “I thought about coming to see if it was even worth it, but I only want to play these kinds of games with you anyway.”

Sometimes he can forget about his feelings for you, when things are just as they always have been. You talk with and touch him the same, laugh at his jokes the same. He thinks that if he were to ever say out loud what he’s been feeling, that the two of you would still be the same but with a little More, ‘you guys’ but on steroids. So when everything is normal he can pretend like it‘a not. He can act like the More is there when you hold his hand to drag him around to the different machines, play games he wants to play even if you don’t want to, you even wipe ice cream off of his chin when his cone starts to melt because he’s talking too much to eat and he wonders why it took him so long to see it this way, and if you could too.

He keeps thinking the moment will come, when he’ll know spilling his guts to you is the right thing to do. But between you gushing over how much you love your new life and your willingness to point out every girl who has blinked at him this weekend, he completely loses the steam he’d gained during his flight, regardless of how his imagination runs wild with the More.

He curses himself the entire weekend for his lack of bravery, hoping that keeping his feelings in is the right decision. After his recent relationship crashed and burned because of his feelings for you he thought he had no choice but to come clean. But watching you, being with you in your new life makes him realize that his role in it hasn’t changed even if his feelings for you have.

The lump in his throat as he stands outside the departure doors is more than just sadness at the thought of leaving you, it’s the realization that he has to let the romantic idea of you go.

“How come you never cry when we have to leave each other,” you hiccup into his chest, and he coos your name lovingly.

“Don’t worry, you know I save my tears for the plane to make everyone in my row uncomfortable.” He knows that you hate that he’s making you laugh at a time like this, pulling away so you can swat his chest and he raises his hands in surrender.

“When will we be able to see each other again?”

“As soon as possible.” He nods reassuringly, wiping your tears with his thumb, heart pounding as he stares into your watering eyes “hey, you’re my best friend in the world, you annoy me every day, and I love you.”

“Whatever, I love you too.” you laugh, but his heart speeds up at the words that you’ve said to him thousands of times. You sweep your arms around him one last time before pushing him toward the airport doors “you better go, if you miss your flight I can’t guarantee I’ll let you leave at all.”

“Don’t tempt me.” He walks backwards slowly, staring at you with a ‘kicked puppy’ kind of face he mastered years ago and you wave enthusiastically, blowing loud kisses into the air that he catches and clutches to his heart.

“This is it,” he thinks, “this has to be it.”

———

Haechan is dreaming about you. He has been nightly ever since he got back from his birthday weekend. He’s grateful the dreams have variety, since some of them overwhelm him to the point of waking up and not being able to fall back asleep.

Sometimes, you’re young again and whenever anyone says “You know, it’s just a matter of time until one of you has a crush on the other.” you both theatrically gag, laughing at each other as if it were the most insane idea in the world. Or, you're sitting on his childhood couch watching your guys' favorite movie for the hundredth weekend in a row, vocalizing the parts of the two main characters and recreating all the best scenes.

Sometimes you’re at his apartment just hanging out together, which are dreams that feel so real he almost expects to see you in his kitchen when he wakes up. Most of these dreams spark a deja vu laced flame in his gut so deep he finds himself confusing them with memories. The ache of missing you wakes him up before his alarm some mornings, and he finds himself face timing you once he knows you're awake just to watch you make coffee and wash your face.

But sometimes, he has dreams that make him feel so ashamed he can barely text you back in the morning. Dreams where he reaches to touch you and you let him, where you tug at his hair and moan his name while he does all the things that he can only do to you in his sleep. He hates to say that these are his favorite, but it's the one dream he knows he'll never actually achieve and he goes to bed every night praying for them.

That’s the kind of dream he’s having when his phone buzzes him awake. He answers without looking because there are only a handful of people who can reach him when he’s on ‘do not disturb’, and you’re one of them. He hums a sleepy greeting into his phone, putting it on speaker next to his pillow and nearly drifting right back into the dream and between your thighs.

“Donghyuck” his eyes shoot open at the sound of your voice “did i wake you up?”

He can practically hear the pout in your voice, squinting at the time on his phone, “Yes, it’s three in the morning,” he stares down to where he’s half hard, running an embarrassed hand over his face even though there’s no possible way for you to know “are you okay?”

“No, well technically yes but I miss you which means things could be better.” you slur your words and Haechan smiles, somehow he's never annoyed that you call him pretty much every time you drink. He thinks it's because he's familiar with this version of you, though he definitely hasn't seen it often since college graduation. This version of you loves him hard, and is never afraid to say it.

"I miss you too," he takes a beat before adding "I was dreaming about you just now."

You gasp excitedly "Really! What were we doing." He smirks at the thought of telling you that you had been sitting on his face, hand reaching back for his cock while he guides your cunt over his tongue until you were shaking above him.

"Just, hanging out." he shrugs. It's his second time this week alone dreaming of your clit bumping his nose, and the thought makes his mouth water.

"I don't believe you." You say accusingly "that's way too boring for a mind like yours to dream up."

"What exactly is my mind like?" He yawns, throwing his forearm over his eyes.

"Oh, you know," you hum "your mind is a galaxy, with at least a billion planets and twice as many stars. I wish I could fly into your head and explore it, but NASA doesn't have the funds."

Haechan holds his breath at your compliment, the smile on his face so wide he can hear it in his own voice "That sounds like an episode of Magic School Bus."

"Your brain is definitely cooler than some cartoon, it's pretty much my favorite place on Earth."

"How would you know, you've never actually been inside?" He shakes his head, teasing you gently. Hearing words like these come out of your mouth breaks his heart and glues it back together at the same time.

"Are you saying you never think about me?" you ask him, not an ounce of sarcasm in your voice.

"I think about you all the time, I promise, all the planets in my brain are shaped like you." You hum, pleased with his response. He shuts his eyes and waits for your answer.

"Yeah, all the planets in mine are shaped like you, too." you pause for a second and add "plus all the stars, I win, I think about you more."

———

This time when Haechan comes to visit you, you know the nerves are more than just excitement at seeing your best friend. It’s a feeling that is nestled so deep in your stomach it makes you a little nauseous. You haven't seen him since you went home for the holidays and he only has one night in the city. You find yourself grueling over your reflection in the mirror, not used to being self conscious in front of him. You’re only going out for happy hour, but you put yourself together to last all night.

When Haechan finally arrives he whistles lowly, making you blush when he pulls out of your hug and requests a spin.

“I appreciate that you got so dressed up for me.” He teases, hoping you don’t catch his eyes sweeping over your legs, wanting to commit you in this dress to memory.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you roll your eyes as if you hadn’t spent the last two hours making sure you looked as perfect as possible. Hoping he doesn’t see the pile of clothes shoved into your closet from all the failed attempts.

“Never,” he grabs your purse off of the counter and opens the door, sweeping his arm out in front of him dramatically “after you. There are some strangers outside who are waiting to catch a glimpse of you, they just don’t know it yet.”

“You are so dramatic.” You lock the door behind you, using the moment facing away from him to collect yourself. Lately you catch yourself wondering if he'd always been so flirtatious, or if you're just forcing meaning behind his words because of how badly you want him to be.

“What, a guy can’t compliment his best friend?”

You smile widely at him and grab your bag out of his grasp, popping your key inside and walking toward the entrance of your building. Praying your fingers stop shaking when you finally get a drink in you. Haechan throws his arm around your shoulders while you walk down the street to your favorite cocktail bar and you're grateful for his usual chatter, talking to you about work and his slow climb up the ladder.

“They put me in a hotel this time, so you don’t have to worry about making me breakfast in the morning.” He smiles at you, sipping his drink gingerly.

“You know I never cook you breakfast.” He feels so far away across the table and you wish that you were sitting next to him instead, shoulders cold without the weight of his arm around them. It feels so good to have him touch you, to feel like you're his. There's a small part of you that feels guilty for using his knack for physical affection to your advantage, he has no idea what the heat of his skin on yours does.

“I know, but all the meetings are in the hotel anyway so it’s easier this time to just stay there.”

You try not to let yourself visibly deflate at the news, wanting to keep him for yourself the whole time he’s in town. His knee presses against yours under the table and you focus all your energy into acting the way you would have before, but you can’t focus on anything else and cross your legs to pull away from him as casually as possible. As badly as you want to touch him, sometimes you can’t.

“What time do you have to be up?”

He groans, leaning back enough that his knee now slides against your shin, “too early,” and glances down at his now empty glass, motioning to the bartender for another “which means you need to drink faster, so I can stop at a reasonable hour.”

You smile, downing the rest of your drink in one gulp, when his foot taps against yours you know it's going to be a long night.

The end of the night finds you together on your couch with a shared bottle of wine sitting empty on the coffee table, his early meetings temporarily forgotten. You and Haechan have been in this position plenty of times, drunk, slap happy and overly touchy in a way that you had always been comfortable being with one another. The difference now is you, this version of you who wants your best friend in an entirely different way.

Every time he pulls you closer you feel electricity shoot straight to your heart so intensely that you have to duck out of his grasp. You don’t know what to do with the feelings that have been growing gradually from your toes up, now practically sprouting out of your scalp with a neon sign blinking “I’m in love with you” over and over.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Haechan whines when you all but flinch away from his hand reaching for his phone near your arm. He’d been aware of it all night, the space you left between the two of you while you walked back from the bar, your sudden inability to maintain the eye contact that he craved. The complete lack of physical touch makes him feel dejected.

“Doing what?” You give him a panicked look, practically sober at the thought of being found out, of what it would feel like to be rejected by him.

“You’re not letting me touch you,” he frowns, and the alcohol buzzes through your veins again “not that you need to let me, but you only avoid it like this when you’re upset. Did I do something?” he pouts, tired eyes low when he flops his head onto his bicep resting on the back of the couch. You forget to breathe for a second when he looks up at you under dark lashes.

“I’m not upset. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” you’re lying through your teeth, but scoot an inch closer to him to make your point. He doesn’t look convinced, and if you’d had less to drink you may have noticed the mischievous glint in his eye before he grabs you by your arm, knocking you off balance and into his chest.

“See,” he sighs happily, wrapping his arms around your body and you can feel his chest buzz when he hums, cheek pressed to the top of your head. You have no choice but to ungracefully shift your lower body closer to him, making yourself a sponge and soaking in his familiar touch “isn’t that better?”

You nod, “Yes, it is better.” and you really wish he didn’t know you so well, that even in his fifth hour of being drunk he can read your mind. He pulls your ear off his heart to grab your cheeks, smushing them together and whispering your name with a shake of his head.

“What is it?” he urges, and you wrap your fingers around his wrist to loosen his grip. You shut your eyes, take a deep breath and count to three in your head before you can talk yourself out of leaning forward and pressing your lips to his.

You feel him falter for a half second before he’s kissing you back, pulling your face closer and pushing his body toward yours. You can’t hear anything over the blood rushing in your ears when his tongue touches yours, and then suddenly his mouth is gone. He moves so quick you have to put your arms out to stop yourself from face planting into the cushion he had just been sitting on.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” you gasp “i shouldn’t have done that, Haechan, I’m so sorry.”

It takes everything in you to look up to where he’s now standing with his arms crossed over his chest protectively. You have no idea what he’s thinking, staring down at you with wide eyes. Insecurity sweeps through you under his intense gaze, and you almost beg him to say something.

“I’m seeing someone,” the way the confession rings in your ears would have you believing that he screamed the words, but his voice was barely above a whisper “shit, I’m sorry.”

You aren’t sure if it’s your life that flashes before your eyes, or your years of friendship with him, at this point the two tend to blur together.

“That’s-” you sit back on your calves and inhale shakily, knowing it’s not even worth it to attempt to fake any sort of excitement for him “why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs, swallowing thickly and pulling his eyes away from your face to stare at the ceiling “It’s new and I didn’t know how. It just never came up.”

“Well then, I’m sorry that it didn’t. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me.” grateful that he’s finally the one avoiding eye contact with you so he doesn’t see your legs wobble when you stand “probably best to pretend that never happened. I’m just drunk and I missed you-”

Your name sounds so pathetic when he says it this time and you think it’s the eighth wonder of the natural world that you haven’t started crying yet. You shake your head instead, wishing so desperately that you had changed out of the dress you were wearing as you pull the slinky material down your thighs.

“Honestly, Haechan,” You regret your next words before they even hit the air “you should probably go. You have an early morning.”

The shock on his face pains you, but you can’t stand to see what you can only assume is pity growing in his eyes for another second.

“I don’t want to go, I want to talk about this.”

“I’m sorry.” you say again and his shoulders slump in defeat, recognizing that you’d made up your mind.

“It’s okay.” He means it, shuffling forward and the look on your face is nearly enough to bring him to his knees. His breath catches when you shift away the inch he moved toward you, eyes locked on his and he can see the desperation in them before he hears it in your voice.

“Text me when you get to the hotel?” your voice cracks with a heavy mix of exhaustion and embarrassment that makes him nods once, grabbing his things and walking slowly toward your door. He turns to look at you, but his words catch in his throat when he sees your eyes begin to water, mustering up all his energy to offer what he prays is a reassuring smile before letting himself out.

You sink back into the couch when the door clicks shut, head hanging in your hands as the tears finally start to flow. You cry so hard you feel like you could throw up, replaying his rejection over and over in your mind, shame and regret coursing through your veins. Pure embarrassment heats your body at the look on his face when he told you he was seeing someone, and you’re not sure if it was disgust or pity in his eyes.

On top of the rejection, knowing that he didn’t feel like he could share something as big as meeting someone with you was a dagger to the heart, up until recently you had never kept a secret from him, and even this one you clearly couldn’t keep in for long.

You force yourself into the shower, scrubbing angrily at your skin under the scalding water. You get out once your fingers have pruned and your skin feels raw, avoiding the mirror on your way to your bedroom. You kick angrily at the dress you'd left on the floor, watching it land near the pile of outfits you had discarded while getting ready.

Haechan had texted you nearly thirty minutes earlier

“made it back”

you give it a thumbs up before turning your phone off, setting an alarm with the clock on your side table and letting the emotional exhaustion lull you to sleep.

------

Haechan is realizing that there is no way in hell that you need space more than he needs to talk to you. He tries to call you multiple times the first week after you kissed him but you never answered, and Haechan doesn’t want to push you to the point of no return. What he really wants is to go back in time and not leave you that night, but the pain in your eyes was so pronounced he couldn't bare to make it any worse. The only physical proof that you had kissed him at all being the stupid blue thumbs up on the text he had sent you that night. It's followed by a slew of reassuring texts, saying that he broke up with his girlfriend and if you would please just talk to him, that he's not mad.

This is the feeling he carries with him nearly two weeks later on the flight to you, when he’s sure that another minute of silence from you will kill him. By the time he gets to your apartment it’s almost midnight, so he knocks loud enough to wake you up.

When you open the door in a shirt he thinks might be his, Haechan knows he has no choice. He's speaking before you can say anything, before he can change his mind.

"I came here to tell you that I think you're being really stupid." He curses internally for the obvious nerves in his voice, your tired eyes widen with shock at his words.

"Excuse me?"

"Years ago you made me swear that I would tell you if you ever came up with a reason not to be my friend anymore. So I'm telling you now, I think you're being really fucking stupid."

"I'm not doing that" You defend yourself, tearing up at the sight of him. He pushes into your apartment, shutting the door behind him and standing close enough to touch. He’s staring you down with pleading eyes, and you bury your face in your hands so you don’t have to look at him.

“Then why are you ignoring me? Why won’t you let me fix this?”

“I don’t know I just,” you inhale shakily “I don't know how to do it right now, not like this."

"Like what?" He hopes he already knows the answer, but needs to hear you say it, to know that you’re as serious as he is. Your mouth feels full of cotton when he forces you to look at him by whispering your name, pulling your hands from your face and his heart pinches tightly at the tears welling in your eyes "please tell me, please. Like what?"

"You already know," your bottom lip betrays you, voice weak beneath heavy emotion when you speak "I love you, Haechan. I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I fucked everything up, but I can’t undo it."

He feels his lungs fill with relief. Haechan steps forward to close the small gap between your bodies, grabbing your jaw to rest his forehead against yours. You falter, but his hand on the small of your back keeps you from going anywhere, he's practically panting and you can barely stand, dizzy with the feeling of him. You want to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming when he whispers "You didn't fuck anything up."

He ghosts his lips over yours for a moment until he's sure you're not going to stop him. When he finally kisses you it's with years of pent up adoration, directing your arms around his neck and pressing his thumb firmly into your jaw, long fingers wrapping around the side of your throat. He practically whines when your fingers tighten in his hair and your lips part for his warm tongue. His arm wraps around your waist so tightly you have to hinge backward to keep your mouths connected, gasping at the strength you didn't know he had.

He keeps your stomach flush to his own and kisses you until you're practically limp in his arms, pulling away to breathe. His eyes are shut as he rubs his nose over yours

"I love you, too. I've been meaning to tell you for a while." All the blood rushes into your ears at his words and you can't stop your biggest worry from spilling into the air.

“What if you change your mind?”

“I made up my mind a long time ago, there's nothing you could do to change it." He blinks his eyes open, pulling his face away from yours just enough to see you, the trepidation in your eyes makes him say your name quietly.

"It's only me, you know me," he assures you in a hushed tone "you have to know by now that you are my entire world."

You could laugh, only him, as if he hasn’t been one of the most important people in your life since the day you met. As if he isn’t someone who has seen you at every stage of it so far. It’s Haechan, who has always been funny, who has witnessed the worst sides of you and never made you feel bad, who has never left your side.

You kiss him again, fingers wrapping in tight fists around his shirt to keep yourself grounded. Haechan’s heart pounds happily in his chest and he hopes you can feel it this time, both hands nestling into your hair. He kisses you gently in an effort to slow down your urgent movements, moaning at the taste of your mouth. You fall into his rhythm easily, the way his tongue rolls gently over yours makes your body go up in flames. You move your hands to slide beneath his shirt, landing on the strong muscles in his back and teasing your fingers up his sides.

When you finally come up for air he stares at you for a minute before laughing, stomach tightening beneath your fingers when he does.

"What's funny?" you shut your eyes, leaning your forehead into his chest, letting the pretty sound ring in your ears.

"Nothing, I'm just-" he cuts himself off with a shrug, nuzzling his nose into the crown of your head "I love you, and you love me back. That's all, that's how easy it is."

"It hasn't been easy at all, in fact my life has been very very hard since your birthday last year.” He pulls away from your head to ogle at you.

"My birthday last year?" You nod, feeling your cheeks flush under his intense gaze, it had really been that long "God, I'm sorry I'm such a fucking idiot."

He's kissing you again before you can ask him to elaborate, grabbing hold of both wrists in one hand while he walks you backward and guides you up onto the counter as slowly as he has to in order to keep his lips on yours. His hips are the perfect height for you to wrap your legs around, gasping in surprise when he slides his hands around your ass and presses your core tightly against the growing bulge in his jeans.

You feel shy when you pull away to ask if he wants to go to your bedroom, feeling frozen in place when he stares at you with half lidded eyes, his plump lips swollen and red.

"Tonight, I'm just kissing you." Every cell in his body is screaming in protest at his own words. He can't express how badly he wants to do everything else, to recreate his dreams, to learn the parts of your body he'd never seen before. But he can't imagine doing anything but this tonight, just this; his lips on yours, your breath in his lungs and your body melting into his.

"Why?” your eyebrows pull together in confusion. You practically shiver with need, tucking your arms between your stomachs and burying your nose in his throat. His laugh buzzes against your face, rubbing his hands gently over your shoulders and trying to control his own breathing as your lips brush over his skin.

All he can say is, “Because I’ve been needing to for a long time.”

“How long?” You pull away from his chest, leaning back onto your hands and closing your eyes when he runs his own down your sternum and over your waist, groping at the flesh of your hips and trying not to regret his romantic side.

“Way too long.”

“Your birthday?” you ask, tugging gently at his shirt. He plants his hands outside of your legs to lean in close, one corner of his mouth pulling up.

“Much longer.” Your eyes widen in shock, and he interrupts you before you can question him “can we talk about it later? I have something really important to do tonight.”

———

He tells you that he's had feelings for you since senior year of college, when you kissed Jeno. He tells you about his plan to admit everything when he had seen you on his birthday, but that he was too scared. He assures you he ended his relationship the moment he got back home the previous week “because everyone has felt like a matter of 'when' it will end, not 'if',” He tells you that just two weeks of your silence hurt worse than any previous heartbreak, and you agree. And before you fell asleep next to him he tells you again, ‘I'm so in love with you.’ and shimmies excitedly when you say it back before kissing you until you can barely keep your eyes open. He holds your cheeks in his hands and practically lulls you to sleep with his tongue, plush lips pressing to yours so gently you can hardly feel them dotting around the rest of your face. He thinks he could do this forever before sleep finally catches up with him, his arm slung over your side to hold your face to his chest.

You wake up curled into a familiar side, your first emotion being giddy as the night floods back to you. Despite your obvious willingness to go further, Haechan had meant it when he said he'd only be kissing you. It made you crazy at first, but when the two of you were staring at each other in the mirror with shy eyes while moving through a nighttime routine you had gotten familiar with years before, you were happy he had the self control you clearly lack. The idea of him actually seeing and touching you in ways he never had before, of doing all the things you'd found yourself imagining him doing over the last year; it was overwhelming. Kissing until your jaw was sore and your lips were swollen felt easy.

You’re startled by Haechan’s hand reaching for yours, holding your palm and bringing your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to each one, “good morning.” his voice is deep and tired, mouth landing on the crown of your head.

"Good morning." You press your nose into his chest happily, gripping his hand in yours and resisting the urge to squeal with delight.

"What are you so excited about, me?" He teases, hand falling on your thigh to guide your leg up the front of his, stopping just below his crotch and you hope he's going to give you what you'd been wanting all night, for the last year.

"You, I just can't believe how happy I am." You admit, lifting your head off of his chest to smile at him. He pulls you right back down, kissing your lips once before rolling you both over so he's on top of you. He presses a hand over your collarbone and drags his lips down your chin and over your throat.

"You know, this means you're all mine now." he smirks against your neck when you nod, gasping when he sucks gently at the base. He has one forearm on the mattress, the other hand too gentle on your ribs. You can feel that he's hard and you immediately roll your hips up.

"Does this mean you're gonna do more than just kiss me now?" you intend to sound confident, but it comes out as a whimper. His nose brushes over your jaw before he presses lingering kisses to your chin and cheek.

"Yes, baby, if you'll let me." You nod eagerly, shifting your face so your lips are beneath his and sighing happily when he lowers his weight onto your torso, licking into your mouth. You shiver with anticipation when he pushes at your shirt, long fingers tickling up your side before landing on your breast. You gasp into his mouth when his thumb brushes over your already hard nipple.

Your impatience is overwhelming, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it up to his shoulders. He pulls away reluctantly, reaching one hand toward his back and pulling his shirt over his head. You gnaw at your lip, running your hands over his stomach and hooking your knees around his hips as much as you can while stretching your arms over your head.

“Cute.” he murmurs, pulling your shirt up and tossing it to the side. He gropes at your chest, tongue wetting his lips before he leans down to wrap them around one of your nipples. He’s trying to act without thinking, to let the dreams he’s had pave the path down your body because he knows the second he acknowledges his nerves he won’t be able to shake them off. His heart thrums when you gasp above him, arching your chest into his mouth. He’s greedy for your sounds, his hands squeezing your breasts together and licking between them to get to the other nipple. When your hips buck up into his he groans, pulling away from your chest and staring down at you with wondering eyes.

“Can I?” He feels unnaturally shy, leaning back on his calves and watching his fingers press dimples into the flesh of your hips above your underwear, tugging at the hem.

“You don’t need to ask.” He smiles, forcing you to sit by grabbing the back of your neck for a kiss. His fingers press into your clothed core and your hips roll into his hand. He sighs into your mouth at your desperation, torn between teasing you and touching you everywhere.

You can’t keep your legs from shutting around his arm when he pushes your panties to the side and slides his middle and ring finger up your wet center, circling over your clit.

You pull away from the kiss, blinking up at him and your mouth falls open when he presses firmly on your clit, rubbing in slow circles. His head hangs as he lets out a quiet “fuck” at your reaction, moving his hand off your neck to stroke over your stomach and without it behind your head you have to lie back, he presses your legs open. Haechan stares at your chest while he settles between your knees, pushing two fingers inside your dripping core. His jaw hangs open, watching his knuckles disappear inside of you.

“So soft,” he breathes, staring down to where his fingers glisten when he pulls them out to rub over your clit again, palming over his cock getting harder in his sweats “want to be everywhere at once.”

“Want you everywhere.” you whine when his fingers pull away to hook into your underwear, tugging them down your legs. Haechan stands to strip and you hold your breath and soak in the soft swell of his hip that leads to where his cock hangs heavy between his legs. It’s pretty like the rest of him, and thicker than you'd expected with a leaking tip that matches the color of his tongue, he strokes himself once and you don’t get the chance to reach for him before he lays back on the bed, rolling you to sit on top of him. You shudder when your pulsing clit rubs over his stomach, inner thigh squeezing into his ribs. He runs his hands up your waist, scooting you an inch higher and grabbing onto your tits.

“Do you remember a few months ago, when you called me drunk and I told you I was dreaming about hanging out with you?” He shivers when you grind down in response, wet pussy sliding easily over his skin “I lied.”

Your hands press into his chest, tilting your head “what were we doing?” you can barely speak above a whisper when he pinches gently at your nipple with one hand, the other rubbing over your ribs when he smirks up at you.

“You were about a foot higher than you are right now,” you gasp and reach out to grab the headboard when he jolts his hips to move you up his chest, staring down at him with wide eyes as he shifts to wrap his arms under your legs, fingers pressing into your thighs.

“You dreamt about this?” you let him bring your hips to hover over his face, hands falling into his hair when he brushes his nose over your clit as he nods.

“All the time,” he moans and drags you down onto his face, lips wrapping around your clit. You shudder above him, letting some of your weight collapse into your heels and he groans happily at the pressure of you on his chin, pressing you harder onto his mouth to fuck his tongue into you. He wants to devour you, every sound you make goes straight to his cock which is already rock hard at the taste and smell of you. Even just thinking about the fact that it's your hips grinding over his face right now is enough to make him moan into your pussy.

You slur out praise, one of your hands shooting up to grip the headboard. His hands wander gently up your sides, eyes opening to stare up to where he plays with your tits, hard cock pulsing at the sight of your head thrown back, hips moving in gentle circles over his face. Haechan’s hand tugs yours down to his hair, trying to restrain himself from thrusting into the empty air at the feeling of you all over him. He hums happily into your pussy when you start to grind over his mouth, flattening his tongue for you to ride until your legs are shaking.

He lets out a deep “mmhmm” when you warn him that you’re going to cum, suckling hard on your clit until you’re practically begging him to let you go, body crumpling forward with both hands tangled in his hair. He's grateful you didn't touch his cock, just the thought of your fingers wrapped around him is enough to make him cum and he has other plans.

You can’t speak when you collapse onto the mattress beside him, immediately warmed by the weight of his body on top of yours as he slots himself between your thighs, sucking a hickey onto the front of your throat.

“Taste too fucking good,” he hums, mouthing over your chin and cheek “been dreaming of eating your sweet pussy for so long.” you practically swoon when he kisses you, pre-cum wetting the inside of your thigh when he relaxes his stomach onto yours.

“Hyuck, want you in me, please” Your vision is blurry, whining into his swollen lips. He works them over your cheek before pulling away from you, bringing one of your legs up to his shoulder and you rest the other knee on his hip. He can feel himself pant when he taps the head of his cock on your swollen clit, practically drooling when he sticks barely the tip inside before pulling back and repeating the tantalizing motion.

“Been waiting for too long to be teased,” you pout, trying to encourage his hips toward yours with the ankle he’s not pressing his cheek into. He smirks and circles his leaking tip over you again, watching his cock spread your arousal around before he pushes into you a little further.

“I’m taking my time with you, feels so fucking good.” He can’t look away from between your thighs, messy hair hanging over his forehead while his fingers grip your ankle tightly. You whimper when he pulls all the way out again, one more hard tap against your pulsing clit before he pushes himself halfway into your leaking pussy. You rise onto your elbows, trying to reach one hand to grab for his hip but he releases the base of his cock to stop you by lacing your fingers together. When Haechan finally looks into your eyes he bottoms out, stretching your leg toward your chest so he can lean in. His hips stutter, a choked groan rumbling deep in his chest.

“Oh my god, Hyuck please.” you beg him to move with a gasp. His forehead presses to your chin, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Fuck, baby, been needing you," he thrusts into you slowly, lifting his head to look down at you glowing beneath him with your eyes shut. He pulls out all the way before thrusting back inside, quickening his hips when your eyes flutter open, the look on your face enough to make his balls tighten slightly, shutting his eyes to regain self control "knew you'd feel so fucking good."

"M’so full, Haechan." you moan at his words and the rapid slap of his hips on the back of your thighs, forcing your eyes to stay open so you can see his face. The way his nose scrunches with focus when he pulls away from your chest, both his hands wrapping firmly around your hips while he watches his cock sink into you. Brown, shaggy hair sticks to his damp forehead, full lower lip taken between his teeth. He’s pure, unadulterated boyish beauty, and he’s all yours.

You squeak when he lets your leg drop off his shoulder, pressing your thigh as far open as it will go with your heel digging into his backside. He fans his fingers over your lower stomach, thumb reaching down to push your clit side to side and your hips tuck up for more pressure, Haechan moans loudly when the movement causes you to clamp around his cock, "Perfect fucking pussy, can't believe it's mine now. Like my fingers on your pretty clit?”

You nod enthusiastically, letting go of your breasts to hold the backs of your thighs, Haechan's eyes move up your body to stare at your chest move beneath him, nipples looking sweet as candy. He’s dying to sink his fingers into the softest part of your stomach, the way you’re moving for him makes his mind turn to sand. You stare down to where his thumb is making circles over your clit, perfectly timed with the head of his cock bruising your g-spot. You feel a second orgasm build and the corner of his mouth pulls up proudly when your legs shake. Your head hangs back as you gasp for air, "yes, please, Haechan feels so fucking good."

"Make the prettiest noises for me, want you cumming all over my cock." he leans forward just enough to trap your throat beneath the weight of his palms, other hand still moving over your swollen clit. You smile at the pressure of his body on yours, eyes fluttering shut while you moan. You nod desperately when he asks if you can do that, "if you can let me make you feel that good, please, my pretty girl."

He takes his hand off your throat when you cum, wanting to hear every sound you could possibly make. You repeat his name like a blessing that has him cumming with you, moaning and breathless as his hips start to slow, milking you both through your orgasms.

You wrap your arms around him when he pulls out of you, reveling in the feeling of him when he lowers himself down, burrowing his face into your neck and warming your skin with his breath. You hold him there for a minute until he pulls his head up, dopey smile lighting up his eyes and making you laugh.

“What?” you scrunch your nose at him “better than your dreams?”

He nods, “so much better, best I ever had, my body belongs to you now.” he smirks at his own words, but his tone is so gentle he can’t even call it a joke.

“Just your body?” you tease, and he leans his nose onto your lips for a kiss that you carry onto the mole under his eye.

“Body, mind, heart, soul,” he sighs happily when you cup his cheeks in your hands, kissing him gently “all the planets in my head.”

"All the planets in my head too."

————

masterlist

authors note // this ended up being much longer than i anticipated, maybe the longest one shot i’ve ever actually written! i appreciate everyone who voted for happy ending because when i was originally thinking of a sad ending it was too hard lol. this feels forever unfinished because there is so much good to this version of haechan, i adore him.

#haechan #haechan fanfiction #haechan smut #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream smut #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 smut #nct fanfiction #nct smut

[nihilistem]

adhd study tips.

by a stem student with adhd.

disclaimer!!! I’m by no means an expert in mental health or adhd but I do happen to have it. My intention with this post is to help others with adhd get more comfortable with studying so the process will be smoother for them!! At the end of the day, despite having the same disorder our brains will still work differently so do keep in mind that these may or may not help you, but are something you can try out if you’re stuck on not being able to study efficiently.

here’s some adhd study affirmations + tips on straying from discouragement if you’re experiencing burnout.

(And here’s part 2 of adhd study tips.)

I’ll start this off by listing more commonly known study tips that also work well with adhd.

change up your environment every now and then. we seek novelty even more than neurotypical people already do so switching it up will definitely help in our studies, especially if the place is well lit!

try some questions of the topic you’re trying to learn even when you know nothing about it. both neurotypical and neurodivergent brains are hardwired to remember things when we are proven wrong, and this is a great way of utilizing this neurological response!

take walks, exercise or stretch during your breaks. this tip is very effective at satiating our hyperactivity and also keeps us energized throughout our study session.

keep a notebook for your brain dump / ideas. we always either think of really stupid things or the most brilliant ideas in the middle of our study sessions and it almost always leads to distraction, but writing it down somewhere lets your brain know that the idea isn’t going anywhere and you can continue studying.

now, onto the tips that have personally helped with my adhd (and I haven’t seen many others talk about.)

alternate between various study plans, routines, schedules and techniques and always be open to finding more of them. majority of the time people always say ‘have a routine that works for you and stick with it’ but our adhd brains get bored very quickly, especially when it comes to repeated routines and schedules. I personally never stick to the same routine or plan more than three days in a row and sometimes I even make a plan on the spot and I’ve been more productive doing that than when I had only one or two study routines to switch between.

do not time yourself at the very beginning. Instead, focus on something in your studies you’re interested in and start there. what do I mean by this? well, since starting is always the hardest, when we begin our very first pomodoro we might find ourselves spending the first 25 minutes zoning out on a textbook just to get that ‘study time’ in even though you didn’t actually learn or recall anything. So to combat this, begin with something you’re genuinely curious about, or ask a question you can’t help but wonder the answer to. Once you find the answer, you might find you’re more in the zone and can continue from there. If not, take a short break and begin the pomodoros afterwards.

if you’re zoning out while reading up on a topic, try walking around while reading, looking at different sources on it or do some questions on that topic. again, novelty always gets us every time. sometimes the problem may be that the explanation in front of you isn’t making sense in your head and other sources may phrase things in a way that is better for your understanding. perhaps the problem is that you’re staying too still and you need to satisfy the hyperactive part of your adhd. or maybe your brain subconsciously believes that they already know what needs to be known about this topic, and there’s no better way to test that by trying out some questions on it.

switch between lyrical and non-lyrical music playlists, but make sure the lyrical music inspires you to excel. this definitely won’t apply to a lot of people but I found that when I constantly listened to piano, lo-fi or just non-lyrical music while studying in general, it actually promoted my likelihood of zoning out. but recently I found a playlist I deeply resonated with that was related to my studies called, ‘pov : a try-hard mid student who wants to ace everything’ and because I related very deeply with both the title and the lyrics of the songs, I was actively being encouraged to study as I was studying. but I also recognize when I really need to think in certain areas and that’s when I switch back to the non-lyrical music.

this is all I have as of right now but please do lmk if you guys want more of these!! I really wanna help out as much people as possible because my studies suffered greatly due to both my adhd and my late diagnosis of it and I’d love to help out others going through something similar.

#stem #science #study tips #study #study hard #studyblr #studyinspo #study motivation #studystudystudy #studygram #study guide #study gram #adhd problems #adhd #actually adhd #adhd stuff #adhd things #adhd tips #living with adhd #adhd study tips #adhd student #adhd struggles

[dindjarindiaries]

Love Me Louder

summary: Your secret romance with the Mandalorian is put at risk when you find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

pairing: din djarin (the mandalorian) x reader

contains: canon-typical violence, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

rating: T

word count: 3.631k

main masterlist • din djarin masterlist

The chime of your comm device was akin to a sigh of relief. You reached for it without a second thought, the small hunk of metal close to your lips as you spoke into it. “Hey. You’re late.”

“Nice to hear from you, too.” There was a fond smile evident in Din’s tone and you could picture the soft tilt of his helmet. 

Your own lips started to curl up into a grin. “You can’t blame me for getting worried.” You glanced around the dark room, wary. “Where did you land?”

“The usual clearing near the stream, on the forested outskirts.”

“Good. I’m glad that it's still a reliable place.” You took a deep breath and adjusted the satchel at your side. “I’ve got the supplies already, but since I have to cross town, it'll be a little while before I can get there.”

“That’s fine. Take your time.” Din paused, tension straining his voice as he went on. “I need you to be safe above all else.”

Your smile had only grown. “I will be.”

You had started to put the comm device back on your belt when Din spoke again. “And cyar’ika, be aware of the weather.” Your chest fluttered at the nickname, despite Din’s serious tone. “The sky looks like it’s about to open up.”

“Sure. Just be ready to warm me up when I get there.” You had tried your best to fight a chuckle at your cheeky words. Din was rendered silent on the other end of the link, no doubt swinging his helmet away in sweet embarrassment. “See you soon.”

You hung the device on your belt and secured the satchel at your side. One last scan around your home proved that you had everything you’d need for this long-awaited excursion and reunion. You put the hood of your poncho over your head and made your way out of your home, one hand staying on the satchel and the other prepared to reach for the emergency blaster Din had equipped you with long ago.

The town was busy that day, swarmed by merchants and townsfolk alike trying to make their deals before the storm Din had mentioned swept in. The first few raindrops were already falling, though you couldn’t be bothered by it. The crowds would retreat into shelter and you would be able to get through to Din even more quickly. The Razor Crest wasn’t much, but it was a safe haven to both of you, and a little bit of rainfall wouldn’t ruin that.

Only one thing could, and that was the reason you two had made this arrangement to prevent it altogether. No one had ever seen the two of you together ever since your paths crossed in the cantina you worked at many years ago. It was the first time you’d seen each other since those early childhood days in Aq Vetina, and if Din hadn’t remembered you first, you never would’ve known it was him underneath all that beskar. The only other times you had let yourselves be seen together outside the hull of his ship was in low-lit villages on sparsely-populated planets. Many years later, it had still proven to be a reliable method. The love you shared was only for you two to know, other than the little one Din had taken into his charge.

But as the rain started to fall harder upon the townsfolk, you heard a commotion that started to threaten your reliable routine.

As you took a quick glance behind you, you noticed it wasn’t the rain that had people scattering in a panic. A band of three Klatooinians with their blasters drawn went from person-to-person as they strided down the street that was only getting muddier and harder to navigate by the moment. You couldn’t hear what they were saying at first, but when you took a moment to focus in, your blood ran colder than the rain that soaked your clothing.

“Have you seen the Mandalorian?” one of the Klatooinians snarled at a merchant. The Mon Calamari cowered away and shook their head. The Klatooinian growled in frustration and raised their blaster. “Don’t think I won’t know if you’re lying!”

You cursed to yourself and began to weave your way faster through the crowd. Your hand clutched onto your comm device as you lifted it to your lips. “Din,” you warned him, your voice low yet audible above the chaos that surrounded you. “We have a problem.”

There was no hesitation in his response. “What is it?”

“It’s hunters, I think,” you informed him. You glanced over your shoulder and tightened your jaw at their close proximity. “Klatooinians. They’re asking about you.”

Din cursed and you heard a shuffling sound on his end of the link. “Are you okay?”

Your shoulder hit someone else’s and you uttered a quick apology. “I’m fine. They haven’t caught up to me yet.”

“Let’s keep it that way.” Din’s voice was calm, though you could still hear the strain of his worry for you. “Go home and secure every door and viewport. I’ll take the ship—.”

“I can’t,” you hissed, wary of the townsfolk who resisted your movements around them more and more. “They came up from behind me. I can’t get around them.” You took another look and watched one of the Klatooinians catch your gaze. Your heart began to race more as you pushed harder against the crowd. “I’ll keep evading them. You just need to get yourself and the kid out of here.”

“Cyar’ika—.”

“Hey, you!” The Klatooinian’s voice was almost directly behind you. Still, you didn’t stop until the two people in front of you formed a wall that kept you from moving forward. You set the comm device on your belt and turned around, your shoulders set as all three hunters made a slow approach. “You seem to be in a rush.”

“Some of us have places to be,” you responded. Your voice never wavered despite their attempt at intimidation.

“Where are you headed?” another one of them asked.

“My ship,” you lied with ease. You set your hands on your hips in annoyance. “I’m already off schedule, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to keep heading there.”

“What’s in the bag?” The first Klatooinian ignored your words and pointed at your satchel with his blaster.

“Supplies for my journey.” You made a grand gesture to your surroundings. “We’re in a marketplace, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

The Klatooinian huffed with fake amusement. “You sound defensive for a person who’s not hiding anything.”

“I just don’t like to be inconvenienced when I’m minding my own business.”

The hunter had become enough for you to feel his warm breath on your face, his beady eyes giving you a once-over. He held his blaster on his shoulder as he went on. “You ever seen a Mandalorian?”

You raised your brow and scoffed. “That’s a joke, right?” The Klatooinian’s gaze darkened. “Aren’t they all dead?”

The Klatooinian began to snarl at you. “Clever.” He motioned to the two hunters who flanked him and they lunged towards you before you could stop them. One took your wrists and pinned them behind your back while the other emptied the contents of your satchel onto the muddy ground.

“Hey!” you shouted, your voice full of venom. You pulled at the Klatooinian’s hold on you, but he didn’t budge. “What the hell are you doing?”

The first hunter knelt down and inspected the dirty pile of supplies. All of the food, water, medical supplies, and more you had been saving for Din was now rendered useless. You set your jaw when the Klatooinian’s eyes lit up and he reached for something. You fought to keep your expression unchanged when he lifted the vial of polish you’d gotten for Din to use on his armor and his weapons. “Have some armor that needs polishing?” the hunter asked with a sickening smile.

“It’s for my ship,” you insisted, once again fighting the other hunter’s hold on you. “The amount of credits mechanics charge for that stuff these days is insane.”

The Klatooinian shared a look with his fellow hunters before he dropped the polish back into the pile. “You’re quick on your feet.” He stood back to his full height and began to growl again. “A little too quick.” The hunter nodded at the one who held you back. “Keep ‘em with us. I don’t wanna leave this place empty handed.”

The hunter at your side tore your hood off, releasing the storm’s downpour onto you. It made it much harder to view your surroundings and you had no doubt that was his purpose. The barrel of his blaster remained between your shoulder blades, causing you to lift your hands in surrender. The emergency blaster on your hip soon joined the pile of belongings you were forced to leave behind in the dirt.

The Klatooinians continued their interrogations of the other townsfolk about the Mandalorian. All you could do was hope that Din had followed your directions and gotten himself and the little one off-world. They still hadn’t proven that you had a connection to Din, even if they hadn’t been convinced by all the little lies you told them.

The hunters had almost made it through the entire stretch of the town’s main street when the crowd started parting for someone. Your heart dropped into your stomach when the distant blur became a reflection of silver armor you would usually be relieved to see. Din already had his blaster drawn and raised, but the Klatooinians were quick in doing the same. The one behind you forced you onto your knees in the mud and prodded the back of your head with his blaster while the other two aimed for Din.

“Don’t shoot, Mando,” one of the hunters warned with a venomous hiss, “unless you want their blood on your hands.” The Klatooinian gave your head another prod that drew a grunt from you.

“This is ridiculous,” you spoke up before anyone else could. “I told you, I’ve never seen a Mandalorian before in my life. I don’t know who this guy is.”

“Is that true?” The Klatooinian was still speaking to Din. “Would you care if I asked my associate to pull the trigger?”

The hunter’s blaster clicked behind your head. You closed your eyes for a moment, alarmed by the sound. When you reopened them, the torrential downpour still couldn’t hide the tension that Din had built within himself. Hopefully, it was something only you noticed. “No innocent person needs to die for my sake,” Din spoke up, his modulated voice as even and firm as ever. “They have nothing to do with this. Let them go.”

“Then hand over the child,” the hunter insisted. “A life for a life.”

Din tilted his helmet. “I don’t take kindly to unsolicited deals.” His voice was low and threatening, akin to the thunder that rumbled in the distance.

“My patience is running thin, Mandalorian!” The hunter behind you grabbed you by the hood of your poncho and pressed his blaster against your temple. You clenched your jaw and stared into Din’s visor. You could imagine the widened gaze behind it, one you’d never quite seen aside from the rare glimpse of light that shone even in the darkness of the Crest’s quarters. “Either give us the child or take responsibility for their blood!”

Din lifted his free hand in surrender. “Wait.” He began to lower his blaster to the ground. “There’s no need to deal in blood.”

You started to shake your head at Din. The last thing you needed was him getting either himself or the child in trouble for your sake. It was the whole reason why you kept your love secret for so long.

Din’s blaster was nearly on the ground when he spoke again. “We can find another way.”

The Klatooinian, exasperated, sneered at Din. “And what would that be?”

Din didn’t answer. Instead, he used the hunters’ shared frustration as their own distraction. His free hand caught the handle of his vibroblade in his boot and aimed it for the Klatooinian’s hand. The blaster was knocked away from your head and just seconds later, three telling blaster bolts sounded off from Din’s direction. All three hunters hit the mud at the same time like a simultaneous exhale of relief. You remained where you were both out of surprise and the inability to move in your current position.

The rain was still coming down hard as Din made his approach. He knelt down and held your shoulders, his gloved hands trembling as his visor assessed you for injuries. “Are you okay?” His visor met your gaze. “Did they hurt you?”

“No, no, I’m fine.” You observed the gathered crowd and kept your voice low. “We’ve drawn a lot of attention, though.” Din helped you up from the ground and began to look around with you. “We should walk away in opposite directions.”

“No.” Din tightened his gloved hands into fists at his sides. “I need to get you to safety. Personally.”

You raised your brow as you started following him. The townspeople’s gazes followed you, but you couldn’t have cared less. “The Crest?”

“For now.” Din was close enough for his arm to constantly brush against yours. He took a deep, troubled breath, his modulated voice getting louder the further you got from the crowded town. “More hunters will hear about what happened. They’ll know you were involved somehow.”

“So,” you started to finish for him, “I can’t stay here.”

Din looked away from you in guilt. “We’ll find you an even better planet to reside on.”

You crossed your arms and stared at your muddy feet as you walked. “Maybe I don’t want to stay on a planet.”

Din’s visor had snapped back towards you, but you refused to meet it. His cuirass inflated with a breath he held in a suspended moment. “We’ve talked about this, cyar’ika.”

“Have we?” The adrenaline from your quick brush with death raged on in your sharp retort. “Or did you make that decision for me?”

Din stopped just as the two of you were concealed by the natural barrier of the forest. He held his weight on one hip as he faced you, the rain still ricocheting off the trees that surrounded you. “You saw what just happened by chance. I almost lost you.” Din had said the words as if they pained him. You tightened your lips. “If you stay with me, that situation could become an everyday reality.”

“It’s already happened without anyone knowing about us!” You waved a frustrated hand towards the town behind you. “And I came out unscathed!”

“What if you hadn’t?” Din’s voice almost cracked with his quick response.

You looked towards the town in the distance and prepared to lift the weight off your shoulders. “Then it would’ve been better than the torture I’ve had to put myself through for so long.” Your gaze met his visor again. “Never knowing when or if you’d ever be able to show up again and hoping that you’d be okay whenever you did. Sharing your bed for a few nights at a time just to return home and be alone in mine for months.” You shook your head. “A blaster bolt would hurt a whole lot less than that.”

Din’s visor fell to the ground. He shifted his weight between his feet, the beads of water cascading down his silver beskar much like tears would. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I hadn’t thought of how much it was hurting you, too.”

The knot within your chest softened as you took a step closer to Din. “Has it also been hurting you?”

Din looked up at you with a tilt of his helmet that could’ve spoken for him if words failed him. “Worse than any wound I’ve ever had.” He glanced towards the distant town. “But the thought of losing you hurt even worse.”

You lifted your hands to his helmet and held it much like you would hold his face in those darkened rooms meant just for you. “Either way, Din, you could lose me.” Your voice was soft despite the gravity of your words. “One would happen because of our distance. The other would happen with us by each other’s sides.” You gave him a determined stare, one that proved you were ready for any challenge. “I don’t know about you, but I much prefer to be by your side.”

Din’s gloved hand held your wrists and gave them a squeeze. It became clear he couldn’t form a response and you didn’t have to ask him why.

“I know the galaxy already hasn’t been kind to you. My family and I were lucky to have gotten away from Aq Vetina when we did.” Your thumbs stroked his beskar cheeks and you hoped he was soothed by it. “But the galaxy also brought us back together. That’s something we should stop taking for granted, no matter how much fear it tries to instill in either one of us.”

Din nodded. He was still unable to use his words, the lump in his throat no doubt too large to work around. The way he took one of your hands and held it within his own said enough.

“We should get back to the Crest.” You gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Especially if you left the kid by himself.”

Din watched your arms swing back-in-forth in gentle motions between you. He managed to respond to that, though his modulated voice still wasn’t quite back to normal. “He’ll be fine.”

You moved closer to his side. “And so will I.”

The walk to the Crest wasn’t long from where you both had stopped to stand. Like you had told Din before, the longest part was getting through town, something that had already been done thanks to the help of the Klatooinians. Din used his vambrace to open up the ship for the two of you and you looked around the hold that had already become your new home.

“I’m sorry I don’t have the supplies,” you apologized to Din once he’d secured the ship once again. The child was asleep in the hammock Din had strung up for him, a sight that made you smile as Din continued to move throughout the space. “The hunters threw everything in the dirt.”

“That’s fine.” Din’s words were genuine as he held one gloved hand upon a rung of the ladder. “We can stop somewhere else.”

Din started to climb the ladder to the cockpit. You followed him, elated to be a permanent part of his crew. It wasn’t your first time traveling somewhere with Din in the Crest, but it would be the first time where you didn’t have to think of parting from him eventually. Relief swept through you as you took your place in one of the co-pilot’s seats and watched Din power up the ship.

“It’s nice to have you here.” Din spoke the words unprompted from the pilot’s seat, his helmet glancing over his armored shoulder.

You smiled at him. “It’s nice to be here.”

Din’s gloved hands continued to move over the controls before the Crest started soaring into the atmosphere. “I’m sorry I didn’t agree to this earlier.”

You had tilted your head at him. “Don’t apologize for doing what you thought would keep me safe.” Your gaze fell to your hands in your lap. “I’m sorry for how harsh my words were earlier.”

“Don’t be. I needed that.” Din locked the Crest into hyperspace and stood from his seat. He lifted his hand to your chin to make you face him. “Someone had to knock some sense into me.”

You smiled as Din helped you up from the seat and led you to the old storage room across the way. “I still do like the idea of a secret romance, though.”

Din tilted his helmet at you once he secured the door shut. “Do you?”

You shrugged and walked closer to him. “It’s sweet.”

Din set his hands on his hips. “That’s not what you’re really thinking, is it?”

You chuckled, setting your hands upon his cuirass. “I’m thinking about how I told you to be ready to warm me up earlier.” You used your gaze to gesture to your rain-soaked clothes. “Now would be an opportune time.”

Din also chuckled at that. He used his vambrace to turn the light off and you heard the hiss of his helmet as he removed it. “In that case, I’ll work fast.” His lips started to find yours even in the darkness, but he hesitated, his breath practically your own. “But first…” he paused, his unfiltered voice still sending shivers down your spine as if it was the first time you’d heard it, “thank you for taking on such danger for me.” Din kissed the corner of your mouth. “I love you.”

You smiled at the words that had always been difficult for him to say. “I love you, too.” You returned the favor with a kiss of your own. “You know I’d face a thousand dangers for you.”

“Please don’t,” Din pleaded with a gentle chuckle. “For my sake.”

You both laughed as Din finally closed the distance once and for all, marking that night as the first of many you no longer had to steal but could finally possess whenever you wanted to.

main masterlist • din djarin masterlist

all star wars characters: @hugmekenobi​​​​​ @themarvelousbee​​​​​ @nembees​​​​​ @amneris21​​​​​@wildmoonflower​​​ @bombshe77​​​ @harriedandharassed​​​ @againstacecilia​​​ @ladykatakuri​​​ @bludyl​​​ @erin-is-sky​​​ @tanzthompson​​​ @murdertoothpick​​​ @mandoloriancookie​​​​ @prettysbliss​​​​​​

din djarin: @notagamersdey​ @les-ingenue​ @booksaremyyoga​ @hp-hogwartsexpress​ @dheet​ @mccn-bcys​ @alwaysdjarin​ @reader-without-a-story​ @cyaredindjarin​ @toobsessedsstuff​ @unofficialavenger90​ @tizylish​ @your-slutty-gf​ @untitledarea​ @mildlyhopeless​ @lexloon​ @jellybeanstacey0519​ @uwiuwi​ @lake-145​ @burningcoffeetimetravel​ @hello-th3r3​ @jackiereadsfics​ @dindadjarin​ @srim01997​ @avidreader73​ @trek-and-wars-are-equal-stars​ @evangeliamerryll​ @pedros-admirer​ @damnzelsoul​ @theredvelvetbitch​​

​↳ add yourself to a taglist here!

#a secret romance with din i mean come onnnn it's the dream #din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfiction #dindjarindiaries

[buddiebeginz]

Please do not come onto my posts telling me why it’s not good for Buddie shippers to be out there making our love for Buddie known on social media. Or how we’re just going to annoy everyone working at 911.

First of all have you seen how much everyone is talking about Buddie these days? Tim, the actors, people interviewing the cast. If they didn't want to be talking about this pairing they wouldn't be. If it was a ship and fandom they were that tired of having to deal with they would focus on B/T and minimize any focus on Buddie but they're not. Actually the opposite. Tim literally said in his response to a fan the other day that he specifically included that Buddie party stuff for the Buddie fans.

Second one of the worst things you can do for media is show you don’t care. Networks want to know that what they’re investing in is going to encourage people to watch and you know what proves that fan engagement. Buddie fans have been the most vocal fans of 911 since almost the beginning of the show. We have played a crucial part in why the bi buck storyline even happened and to some degree have even helped the show continue as long as it has.

Our engagement and enthusiasm for the show (so long as it’s respectful) is a good thing. It also shows Tim, the writers, and ABC that there is still a large fanbase of people who want this pairing to happen. Let’s also not forget there are a ton of fans out there constantly talking about Buck/T*mmy right now. So what we should just stop talking about Buddie and let them become the loudest voice?

Why is it okay for them to show love for their ship but not us? Also I’ve never said spam every post the 911 account (or the actors) make and make it about Buddie. I’ve said when they post about Buck, Eddie, Buddie, Oliver, or Ryan people should leave comments about Buddie. And yes that includes posts about B/T too because it includes Buck. But also because so many comments on posts about B/T are about how people want them to be endgame. There is nothing wrong with Buddie shippers reminding 911 that B/T fans only comprise a portion of the 911 fandom and that it is not what we all want. That we won't stop rooting for the love story Buck and Eddie deserve.

#buddie #911 buddie #911! #buddie s7

[writing-for-life]

Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads. 

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome 

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions” 

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions. 

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think. 

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters. 

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message. 

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out. 

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans. 

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

#fandom discourse #fandom blindspots #sandman meta #sandman spoilers #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #nada #morpheus #sandman

[xdaddysprincessxx]

Go Ahead and Cry Little Girl

Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x f!reader (Agent Gin)

Warnings: Daddy issues!!, character death mentioned, daddy kink, piv (again wrap it up guys!), f & m oral, dacryphillia, 1 use of song lyrics, dirty talk (it’s jack mf Daniels what did you expect?) boss/employee dynamics, sex work (we support sex workers in this household!) squirting, voyeurism, cum eating, Reader is described as having hair, a vagina, well hydrated (; and can blush. that should be all! Lmk if i missed something (:

A/n: This one’s for my babes with daddy issues! I see you, I love you. This idea hit me while I was driving to work and the song “Daddy issues” by The neighborhood came on. As of right now I think each Murder daddy is gonna have a daddy issues one shot but we’re starting off strong with my personal favorite cowboy.🤠

Growing up your dad wasn’t home very much. You honestly don’t have very many memories of the guy. The memories you do have always seem to be of him frowning at you, disappointed and telling you that you need to do better, be better. You were just a kid. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Instead of having a loving, doting father you had this stranger who’s approval you wanted desperately. So you worked hard in school, played sports, joined as many after school programs as you could and when you graduated high school you had full ride scholarships to all the big schools across the nation. I’m talking Harvard, MIT, Stanford, Yale, the list goes on. You ended up choosing Columbia University in New York so you could be as far away from home as possible. College was a breeze for you, graduating early with high honors you weren’t surprised when Statesmen approached you offering you an intelligence job.

Accepting this job was an easy decision for you. A few years after graduating high school your dad kicked the bucket and your mom ran off with the first guy who gave her a lick of attention. You had no one to go back too, no family to visit on the holidays. And you loved working at Statesmen. Working in the lab alongside Ginger, you helped create new technologies and advance healthcare. You had it all; a great career, a nice studio apartment in Manhattan. What more could you want? Ah yes approval. For some reason you still had this deep seeded need to be well liked and needed by others. So you do what any girl does, you sell your nudes online to creepy men in exchange they give you their money and high praises. You never reveal your face or your real identity so nobody knows it’s you.

🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃

Coming back to work after a long weekend is proving to be a tough one. You’ve been overworking yourself lately and having three whole days off you went home and slept for hours only waking up to eat Chinese takeout and then go directly back to sleep. Back in the lab, you find yourself frustrated and having to keep retrying new samples for a new antibiotic your working on.

“Hey Gin go ahead and take a break hun. I’ve seen you redo the same sample 10 times now. I’m not sure where your head is but try to get it out of the clouds before you come back.” Ginger Ale says to you as you lay your head down on the table next to the microscope you’ve been staring at for the last two hours.

Sighing, “Yea yea. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me Ginger. I just can’t focus and I have zero energy.” you say as you get up and start gathering your things.

Soon enough your back up on the fifth floor, down the hall from the cafeteria. Just as your rounding the corner you find yourself running right into the very man who haunts your every thought. Jack Daniels or Agent Whiskey as most people at Statesmen know him as. The man has been the star of all your dirty daydreams, his accent and mannerisms scream ‘southern gentleman’ and boy do you eat that shit up every time you see him.

“Well hey there darlin’ watch out where your going. Don’t wanna go runnin into any ole body now do we?” Jack says in his thick accent just as you bounced backward after hitting him square in the chest.

“Oh my god Agent Whiskey I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there!” You manage to get out despite having the wind knocked out of you.

“Now darlin’ call me Jack. Am I gonna have to tell you this every time?” He teases you causing a deep blush to creep across your cheeks.

With a soft smile on your face and your eyes cast down, “Of course not Ag- I mean Jack.” You say with the smallest giggle. As soon as the words left your mouth you felt Jacks finger under your chin, lift your face up forcing you to look directly into his gorgeous deep brown eyes.

“There we go. Now that’s what I like to hear. My name come out of such a beautiful lady’s mouth.” Jack says with a smirk.

As if you couldn’t blush any harder, you somehow turn even redder in the face.

“Now go on beautiful, have a good day.” Jack says as he tilts his hat towards you.

“Thanks Jack, you have a good one too.” You manage to squeak out as you gather yourself once again and continue on walking toward the cafeteria.

🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃

Sitting down at a table in a far back corner, you crack open a cold can of coke and take a deep sip. The carbonation leaving a cold wake of bubbles in your throat, already feeling the affects of the caffeine. Pulling your phone out you decide to hop on your website and respond to a few messages as you wait for the soda to really kick in. You have a good handful of regulars who like to ask for custom content and one of them had recently asked for a video of you riding your favorite toy. Just as your about to send the video, a text comes in from Jack.

1:32pm - Hey I hope I didn’t hurt ya when you ran into me earlier sugar 😉

1:34pm - No you didn’t! If anything I’m sorry for running into you! I hope I didn’t hurt you Jack.🩷

Without even thinking, after you press send you hit the icon for your photos and pull up the video you were sending to your regular, find it and hit send.

🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃

Jacks sitting at his desk when he hears a ping and sees you’ve texted him back. As soon as he read your text he saw a video message pop up immediately after. Opening the video, he sees you sitting on the floor in your bedroom and a decent sized pink dildo. The video starts and you swing your leg over the dildo, lowering yourself down, you grab the dildo and swipe it through your folds a few times. Moaning, you drop all the way down on the dildo. The angle of the camera allows Jack to see the dildo stretch you open. Not quite as big as Jack, it still gives him a delicious view of what you’d look like speared on his cock. Thinking to himself, he wonders if you meant to send this to him through text. Most likely it was on accident. But what you don’t know is that Jack knows all about your little secret. In fact he’s been one of your regulars for awhile now. Always sending in requests and tipping generously. Something else he knows you are ignorant too is that he was the one who requested this particular video.

🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃

After texting Jack back and sending out the custom video, you feel awake enough now to get back to work. Just as you get back into the lab, you hear the lab phone ring. You go to grab the phone off the hook, “Hello Agent Gin, how can I help you?”

“Well well well if it ain’t the pretty lady I need to talk too” Jack crones into your ear. “I need to see you in my office darlin’ now. Please.”

“Yes of course sir I’m on my way now.” You reply, your voice cracking just the tiniest bit.

Unsure as to why Jack needs to see you in his office, you check your texts between you two to see if you misread something and that’s when you realize you sent Jack the video! Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. You’re screwed! Your dirty little secret is out now and the one man you want so desperately inside of you now knows all about it.

🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃

Knocking on Jacks office door, you go to turn the knob to open the door.

Peeking your head in, “You wanted to see me sir?” you say as you clear your throat that’s suddenly dry as the Sahara Desert.

Sitting at his desk, you see Jack look up at you with this hungry look in his eyes.

“Ah there she is. Come in sugar. Have a seat.” He motions to the chair in front of his desk. You quickly come in, closing the door behind you and taking a seat.

Jack stands up, slowly walking towards the door when you notice he locks it. Making his way back to his desk, he sits on top of it directly in front of you.

“Now sugar your probably wondering why I need to talk to you.”

Gulping, you look down unable to look him in the face, “um I think I know why sir.” You manage to say, knowing there’s no reason to play stupid. You both know what you sent him. Might as well confess to it and get it all over with.

“Look at me sugar. I wanna see those pretty eyes of yours when I’m talking to you” Jack says in a low baritone voice.

Looking up at him, a deep blush covering your cheeks, you try to swallow as best you can and find your words.

“Now we’re both adults here. We both have urges. If you needed a good fuck darlin’ all you had to was ask. I’d be more than happy to oblige.” He says in a matter of factly tone.

Stunned you just gawk up the agent in front of you. Did he really just say that? Is he- he’s not- what is happening?!??

Jack goes to stand up, directly in front of you, “Get on your knees little girl.”

Unable to speak you do as he says and you push back your chair as you lower yourself onto your knees.

“There’s my good girl. Now sugar I’m going to fuck you good and hard. And your going to take every thing I give you. Understood?”

Shaking your head yes as you look up at Jack. Nervous as hell but you can’t help but get excited. Isn’t this what you always wanted? Isn’t he the star of your wet dreams?

Jack goes to take his blazer off, rolling up his sleeves as he begins to unbuckle his absurdly large belt buckle. Watching him undress like this has your mouth and pussy watering. Your finally gonna have the Jack Daniels inside of you. You can’t wait.

He pulls out the biggest dick you’ve ever seen. Now you get why this man walks around so arrogantly. The man has the dick to back it up. Your eyes widen as the head of his cock seems to stare at you in your soul. At about average length, he’s girthy as all get out. There’s no way you’d be able to get much of him in your mouth.

Jack gives his cock a few good strokes, “Open up sugar. Let me see how good you can be.”

You drop your jaw quickly and open your mouth, dropping your tongue out. Smirking, Jack takes his cock and starts rubbing it up and down your tongue. After gliding the head on your tongue a few times, Jack sticks his cock in your mouth, forcing it down your throat causing you to gag at the intrusion. Without holding back, Jack continues to gag you with his cock. Your eyes over flowing with tears.

Jack looks down at you the whole time, just staring in awe at how beautiful you look with his cock in your mouth, eyes wide with tears looking back at him.

“Go on and cry little girl. Nobody does it quite like you sugar. I’ve been watching you for some time now. Oh yes I know all about your dirty little secret baby.” He reveals, making you choke even harder on his cock in utter disbelief. He’s known this whole time? How much of you has he really seen?

Jack finally pulls his cock out of your mouth, spit strings still connecting you two. Brown eyes staring deep into your soul, you take a deep gulp of breath, chest heavy as you manage to stutter out, “y- you know? How long?”

“I’ve known for awhile now darlin’. I love watching your little videos. Always gets me harder than a goddamn rock. It was actually me who requested that particular little video. So it is funny you accidentally sent it to me.” Jack admits.

Before you have the chance to respond, Jack grabs you by your arm helping you up before he’s leading you towards his desk and gently pushes your top half down so your bent over. Wearing a dress that day, you can’t help but feel bare as he bends you over his desk. You feel Jack crouch down behind you, warm hands running up and down the back of your thighs. You feel his warm breath on your clothed pussy.

Taking a deep breath in, Jack slowly pulls your panties down exposing your sweet pussy to him. Unable to help himself he presses his face in and lays a kiss to your exposed clit. Hearing you let out a soft moan breaks any bit of self control Jack had and he dives in. Tongue poking out, he swipes it through your folds a few times before making a zig zagging motion from your taint up to your clit.

Feeling his thick tongue protrude your wet pussy, you feel yourself gush as he starts to flick your clit.

Moaning, “Please Jack I need more. Please.” You whisper breathlessly.

Hearing your sweet request, you feel jacks thick fingers enter you and curl up, hitting that sweet spot.

Taking his tongue off your sweet, sweet pussy, “That’s it sugar. Tell daddy what you want baby. Tell daddy how to make this pussy cream.” Jack growls as he pumps his fore and ring finger faster into you.

All to quickly you feel the sudden need to pee. Moaning even louder causing Jack to pump his fingers even faster, all to soon you feel yourself start to squirt.

“Oohhh ungghh!!!!” Comes from deep in your throat as you continue to squirt, the exquisite feeling of squirting all over his fingers is a high you never want to come down from.

“Fuck sugar that’s it. That’s it baby come on, give it all to daddy baby that’s it” Jack crones as he tries to drink up every single drop.

Boneless, you can’t help but drop on top of the desk, unable to hold your upper half up any longer. Knees weak, legs shaking, you feel jack stand back up behind you. Jack takes hold of his cock, swiping it through your folds, gathering your wetness on his cock before he slides in your sweet pussy. The feeling of his thick cock splitting you open takes your breath away.

Taking his time, feeling every ridge inside of your pussy, Jack finally fills you up to the hilt.

“Fuuuccckkk” Jack breaths out as his cock kisses your cervix. After not moving for a few seconds to let you adjust to his girth, Jack begins pummeling into you. Hands gripping your hips, forcing you back onto his cock as he fucks you good and hard just as he promised.

“That’s it sugar. Look at you. Taking my cock. So. Damn. Beautiful.” He grunts out. Jack leans forward, his chest on your back when you feel his arm snake around your front and pulls you up to him. You feel his other hand bury in your hair forcing your head up when you notice a little red, blinking light up in the corner, “Smile for the camera darlin’” Jack crones into your ear. Knowing he’s been filming this entire time has your eyes rolling back as you moan.

“This sweet fucking pussy belongs to me now darlin’ you hear me? Only I get to fuck this pussy.” Jack whispers in your ear.

“Oh fuck yes. Yes daddy it’s yours. All yours! Fuck!” You say breathlessly, agreeing to whatever he says as long as he continues to fuck you this good. You feel yourself getting close once again, the feeling of needing to pee is back.

“Daddy I’m close, please please can I cum? I wanna cum daddy! Please let me!” You beg, hoping he shows you a little mercy and let’s you cum.

Jack slaps his hand over your mouth, “Fuck baby you gotta be quiet. Daddy’s gone let you cum baby girl don’t you worry. Daddy wants to feel his sweet pussy cum on his cock.” He tells you as his other hand snakes down towards your clit. You feel his thick finger swirl around your clit and that does it for you. All too soon you feel the dam break and your coming. Hard. You bite your lip trying your hardest to keep quiet. The euphoria you feel is hard to contain, your eyes rolling back once again.

Feeling you gush hard around his cock, almost as if your pussy is trying to push him out, does him in. Jack pumps a few more times before he’s coming inside of you. As your both coming down from your highs, chests heaving, you feel jack pull out of you leaving you an empty mess.

Not sure what possessed you, you turn around to face him and lower yourself down to your knees once again. Gripping the base of his dick, you lick the mixture of you and Jack off his cock all while looking up at him. Making a show of you swallowing every bit of your cum.

“Well I’ll be damned sugar. You never fail to surprise me.” Jack chuckles darkly as he watches you from above. You can’t help but smile sweetly up at him hoping this isn’t the last time you get a taste of this cowboy.

A/n: idk where this came from lol the song inspired me but this?^ yeeaaaa we can blame my hormone monster for this, I am ovulating lmao. I hope y’all enjoy!

Tagging a few Whiskey connoisseurs and friends that I think will enjoy: @neverwheremoonchild @foli-vora @whiskeynwriting @lumoverheaven @toxicanonymity @multiversed-daydreamer @nosesitter @beefrobeefcal @juletheghoul @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @megangovier20 @ikissdin @wannab-urs

#pedro pascal #Jack Daniels #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x you #jack daniels x female reader #jack daniels x you #agent whiskey smut #spicy smut #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters #kingsman the golden circle

[tetradynasty]

So, one thing that I’ve seen is people wondering why Fuuko seems to be doing a lot better in this last time loop than Juiz did in her own, especially considering she had 99 previous loops to practice with.

I think that there’s actually a lot of reasons why.

First, the loop itself. The first 20 loops or so were probably pretty useless. By that, I mean that loops without all of the master rules or any of the foundational ones, like kindness or burn, were probably incomparable to modern loops. There would be so many differences that information you gained there would be flat out wrong in later loops. I like to imagine a scenario where in an early loop Juiz and Victor try to prevent Burn from ever being added to try and depower the Sun.

Then there would be the one-off loops where something went wrong, completely dooming the loop. Somebody killed Tell, and now everyone is mute. Or Juiz trusted the wrong person and they rebelled against her. And you know Unluck ruined at least one loop from how much she wanted Fuuko dead.

Also about the loops, we know there is a bit of variance. The author’s deliberately been a bit vague on how much stays the same vs what differs, but people can be born later or earlier, in different places, and that can really fuck up a plan dependent on careful timing. Trying to recruit negators or manipulate events can pretty easily fail if they appear a couple years before you think they would. The missions are different too, so a mission that’s a cakewalk one loop could kill everyone sent to clear it the next. There’s no relying on a scripted plan, you have to be prepared to improvise a lot.

And speaking of plans, there’s also the underlying goal that Juiz has throughout her loops. It’s not actually to kill God. It’s to make the next loop more capable of killing God. Because her biggest advantage is the ability to carry over knowledge, and unfortunately, a low chance of killing God just isn’t worth it when it means she’ll lose all the knowledge she’s gained if she dies and can’t loop. This means that she can’t take huge risks. Staying alive and keeping all her knowledge is her highest priority.

And one of those risks that she doesn’t take is increasing the size of the Roundtable.

The bigger the roundtable, the longer they have to survive against God. During Ragnarock, we see the process of God reaching Earth takes about one minute. So if Juiz is the only member, that means that it is impossible for God to stop her from looping. With Victor as a guard, that time limit can reasonably be increased by a few minutes, so they can add a few more people. But any longer, and it no longer becomes a guarantee. And that means that Juiz has to deliberately fail any mission that adds seats, to not overstretch.

Now that she’s deliberately failing missions, that puts a hard time limit on how far she can get into a loop before Ragnarock occurs. And that’s not counting any missions that may fail for reasons out of her control, such as underlings getting suspicious of their leader who keeps on trying to fail missions.

And that’s where it starts coming down to human nature, and what I think is the biggest reason Juiz isn’t as successful.

Juiz and Victor aren’t as empathetic as Fuuko and Andy are.

UU is a shonen manga at the end of the day, and there’s a big focus on how teamwork and connecting with other people is the best way to overcome your problems. And Juiz and Victor aren’t going out and building the team they need, because of who they are as a person.

They have reasons for this, of course. Victor is overprotective, stubborn, and willing to sacrifice countless other people to protect Juiz. She’s the only person he cares for after so many others have left him, and is the only person that can understand what he’s gone through. Billions of years of suffering have worn away any softness he might have, any desire to reach out to others.

Juiz has gone through everything along with Victor, with the addition of the fact that Unjustice is implied to only work on people she doesn’t like/hates. So she is encouraged to dislike people she meets, in order to not be defenseless against them.

However, it’s not just all of the disadvantages that Fuuko no longer has to deal with. There’s all the advantages in this loop, that come from everything Juiz has done to increase their odds.

Juiz was the one that put G-Liner into the loop, which allowed Anno Un to save Fuuko in loop 100 and Fuuko to grab a bunch of artifacts in loop 101, creating Andy eventually led to Andy restraining all the master Rules and preventing them from fucking things up before the Union was ready to fuck them up which Victor refused to do, and lastly there’s all the general training and knowledge she gave Fuuko.

So I guess what I’m saying is that yes, Fuuko is doing better than Juiz did. However, that’s based on a hundred loops of Juiz’s hard work.

#undead unluck #undead unluck spoilers #UU

[bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls]

Is there such a thing as owning too many girls? Will you ever stop collecting new ones?

 Numerous thoughts:

You ask this as if I choose their number… as if they don’t come to me in isolation, and in waves, and in seasons I cannot foresee. They are many, not because of my needs, but because of theirs.

If a girl is wrong for me —if she neither fits nor fathoms her place in my life— then even one is too many. If a girl is devoted to me —if she recognizes my happiness as the central purpose of her existence— then there can never be enough.

Ownership is a bigger, more complicated thing than most people imagine. Yes, I own the girls who kiss my hand, ride my cock, eat my cum, bleed for me, and give me their credit cards and house keys. I’ve claimed them. They are parts of my life. But I also own girls who don’t know my name, have never seen my face, and may never feel the touch my hand. Girls I barely know, who build shrines to me and make bibles from my thoughts. Girls who dedicate their lives to being the kind of cunt I might notice. I haven’t claimed them, but I am very much a part of their lives. They’re faithful not because I call them “mine”, but because I am the substance of their faith.

There are limits to my emotional bandwidth, limits on my time, limits of focus and necessity… I can’t be physically or emotionally present for everyone, in every needful moment. Those who are suited to life in my gravity well can appreciate both the toll it takes on me, and the challenges it creates… honestly, nothing makes me prouder than when one of the girls uses her fraction of my time to tell me that someone else needs me more than she does. (That’s serious Good Girl shit, right there, and does not go unnoticed.)

I’ll stop collecting them when parents stop making them, when the world stops twisting them, and when shitty men stop letting them down.

TL;DR: pretty much never.

#asks

[helluva-dump]

Yeah I think I am officially done with the Helluva boss critical community… for good.

Before you guys flip your shit and accuse me of being a Stan, let me explain.

So I deleted my tumblr app and decided just to refreshen my mind and focus on other things. (Like my art, my own possible indie project, ect ) and being away for a while… it kind of made me realize how much of the critical community was becoming too much for my mental health.

Originally, I joined because season 2 disappointed with season 2, didn’t like how Vivziepop retconned things like the pilot, the possible workplace allegations, and of course… the fandom being super toxic as hell work promoting toxic positivity.

But holy shit…. Somehow the critical community is even worse than the fandom.

Like I swear nobody talks about what’s wrong with this community. I’ve seen blogs have such an unhealthy hatred to Viv where they post nonstop about her… it’s insane. Like when making account names “wah I hate Vivziepop”

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think all critical blogs act like this. I do in fact still follows few, only thing is the ones I follow don’t constantly whine and bitch all the time and actually do critique. And these reblogs I follow just do AUs, rewrites, and redesigns which to me I will always see as harmless fun since that’s what I wanna do.

As for the other half of criticals…. Hell, these people legit get mad and share screenshots making fun of fans with different opinions. Like, bruh, didn’t you guys get angry at stans for doing that to y’all? You guys are literally doing the exact same thing. And no I’m not talking about sharing screenshots of toxic fans that attack former employees and make excuses for a questionable workplace…. But like they’ll just mock fans that didn’t do anything bad.

I’m all for critiquing a fandom and there are Stans that have such an unhealthy parasocial relationships with Viv… but somehow I see people acting the same with their unhealthy hate obsession. Literally going through her IG and bitching and moaning…

Seeing people making assumptions about her and Gooseworks with the glitch x as well as Tracy just shows me how unhealthy this hate is becoming.

Yes, Viv and Tracy had a bit of a heated thing on Twitter. However, I don’t think it’s fair to assume she’s this evil evil hellspawn that’s plotting to destory glitch x. “She’s kissing ass to goodeworks with her fake smile” dude she’s probably a fan of their works, you really don’t know that.

Also, while I’m aware of the allegations concerning Salem (who I hope really recovers and they did really make this episode the best IMO)… it’s probably not fair to assume all employees get treated the same way… the only people that seem to know what went down are Erin, Ken, Salem, and Ashley Nicolas. Do I think the workplace abuse is possible? Yes, it’s why I haven’t bought any merch.

BUT the reason why I don’t like to discuss things like this is because half of the other stuff seems like flimsy evidence besides Salem’s vents. And I think it’s a bit risky to spread such misinformation and make assumptions. (One blog I’ve seen had so many anons sharing rumors and just go along with them which to me is dangerous…)

Like when the new episode aired, unlike everyone else, I actually loved it. This recent episode was so great it’s what I wanna see more of for Helluva boss. But eh… I noticed some haters bitch for the sake of it. Now, some of the critiques aren’t too bad, I did notice some flaws and I understand the concerns for salem. But like other half it’s just bitching for the sake of it…

Also I heard rumors how the deranged stalker fan of Fizz is a parody of critical blogs… tbh I highly doubt that because that trope always existed in cartoons (like Aggrestuko had one too) but considering a good chunk of “criticals” have a hate boner for viv, can you blame some fans for thinking that?

I really don’t like how the critical community became the anti community. Because not every critical person is an anti, I don’t even wanna fuck with that shit and I don’t ever wanna resort to that.

Hell, they drove one critical blog I loved away… over a bad miscommunication.🙃 and that blog was right, you don’t wanna make friends with this community with how some toxic people are.

Also I’ve been drawing a lot of Hazbin hotel stuff for my Heaven AU and it reminded me why I enjoyed Vivziepop’s ideas and stories so much. It somehow was helping me take edge away from my mental health.

I think it’s possible to still be a fan without labeling yourself as a stan or anti. That’s why I made this blog for. I was so worn out by the toxic positivity of the fandom, so this is my comfort space. But now I need to cut the critical community away since it’s now full of toxic negativity.

And as I said, I do plan to make an indie cartoon series and I feel like being part of this critical community is NOT gonna make me professional on my end. That being said, I don’t like Viv as she said things that rubbed me the wrong way BUT I’m not gonna let that kill my joy for Hazbin hotel.(and Helluva boss to an extent) I do think she has good ideas and they CAN work but she does need more writers than animators to help her execute them.

That’s why I’m only a bit more excited for Hazbin hotel lately

Now I’m not angry at anyone who followed me. I just wanna make some boundaries, and that being said, I’m still gonna critique both shows. However, I’m just gonna tag these posts as HH/HB critiques than HH/HB critical for now on. I feel like that’s more professional and more genuine if you wanna share opinions on stuff.

Just wanna get this off my chest, it’s what I wanted to express for a while.

And if fans come across this blog, don’t be afraid to interact I won’t bite. Everyone has their different opinions. I only have an issue with Stans that promote toxic positivity and dismiss employees that were treated badly is all.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #for now on #I wanna restart fresh #and I don’t want antis and Stans to interact with me #you guys need to touch grass with your obsession with viv #it’s hella creepy

[illwynd]

What direction would you have enjoyed most for Thor and Loki after TDW?

I recall in the long dry years between TDW and TR, a large part of the conversation in the fandom around this topic was on how pissed off Thor would be when he learned that Loki hadn’t actually died and had kept that fact from him (or “faked his death,” however you wanna phrase it) and how much trust would have to be rebuilt. And there is definitely that aspect of it. I think there was trust that needed to be rebuilt on both sides, in fact, and many long-overdue conversations about everything that had gone wrong to get them to that point. Conversations about Loki’s ancestry and his miscalculation with the Destroyer and all the questions Thor didn’t ask when Loki reappeared and not visiting him in the cells and ancient resentments and so many other things. 

But most of the fandom, in the discussions I’ve seen, seems to have been hoping for resolution between them, for things to get all healed and tied up in a tidy little bow and have their character arcs just ride off into the sunset and… yeah, I don’t want that. I never wanted that. There is way too much emphasis these days on “healthy” and “wholesome” and, goddamn, like what are y’all doing looking at these two if you’re looking for therapist-approved wellbeing? You’re digging in the wrong place. (Something that I feel is carried over from Norse mythology into their characters is the idea that there is value and importance in lives that don’t have a Happily Ever After, worlds ending in destruction and final defeat but with a deep integrity to what mattered. The world doesn’t promise healing. Sometimes, living with the knowledge that things will not be fixed in the end but it all matters anyway, and the connections between people matter, and the ability to find flickering moments of joy amidst the sorrows… to me that is far better, far more fitting to who they are than any tidy, happy resolution could ever be.)

One of the things that I love about many of their comics arcs is the sense that while things do change between them over time, with different emphases coming into focus and into prominence, there is an essence to both of them that keeps them in perpetual conflict and ALSO keeps the love strong enough that neither of them ever wants to go their separate ways permanently. They both have their own lives, with Thor doing his best at heroing and Loki doing his best at being himself, but Their Relationship is a constant, and it’s nobody else’s business, and whether they’re on opposite sides in their daily lives doesn’t really factor into it. 

So basically, in my ideal world in which phase 3+ didn’t suck, TR would have involved some of those long-overdue conversations and some working together against a bigger bad, but the kiss-and-make-up would have been incomplete, like an unresolved chord at the end of a phrase of music. Loki would have disappeared again but this time making sure Thor knew he wasn’t dead, and he’d have popped up again from time to time, always with uncertain allegiances, to have a few poignant interactions with Thor, or to absolutely destroy some big bad that’s threatening Thor’s life but in the meantime doing something that makes it seem like he got some material gain out of doing so (just to keep everyone on their toes), and if anyone questions this in Thor’s presence you’d get a very stormy look and a subtle suggestion that he doesn’t have to be slumming it on Earth. 

Loki would be there to be The Most Important Person in Thor’s life even when he’s not physically present, and the niggling itch that never quite goes away from the fact that things aren’t resolved and may be unresolvable. (Having a relationship like that—where it is possible or likely that things can’t be fixed—is actually really important to telling Thor stories that have emotional weight. Resolving the relationship or making the question null through death cuts off so many of the important questions that cling to Thor in themes and resonances. To a character who embodies the virtue of striving for heroism and goodness, an unquenchable love for such a liminal character as Loki, whose moral standing flits all across the field at any given moment, and having Thor see that not as a problem, as a liability or an inconsistency but instead as a value in itself—that keeps Thor from becoming an insufferable, inflexible moral pedant.) And Thor—Loki’s love and devotion to Thor, mingled with his resentment of him and the lingering frayed edges of his trust and the centuries-old anger and desire to win against him just once—would be there to rest like a base color underpainted beneath everything Loki does in his schemes and clever workings and, a gnarled anchor or a rusted root, keep him from wandering too far afield.

And, I mean, they’re gods. If you carry any story on long enough it ends in death, but in a story of superheroes and modern legends, the gods should still be there in the end, at the edge of the tale, perhaps, but continuing nonetheless, spinning against the stars, the huge half-invisible shadows of giants bordering the far horizon, the cycles of their lives so much longer than ours.

#replies #anon #ty for the ask anon! #grand unified theory of loki #theories of thunder #sorry this was not plot details but general gists and moods #TR and everything after annoys me so much my brain just won't work with those materials

[little-worm-grant]

Steven's pov: Oh Sausages

692 words / Masterlist.

If you like what you see, leave a like or reblog and follow me ♥

Summary: Some lighthearted scatterbrained memories from the mind of Steven Grant and his formative years. Lunchtime edition.

Previously: Steven's pov: Happy Simple Normal Life (Not a necessary read)

Tags: Childhood Memories, Comfort, Fluff, Developing Friendship

The room was abuzz with the noise of conversations going on all around him. Steven didn’t focus on any, or anyone really. Too upset to be paying attention. Even if his favorite pastime was eavesdropping and pretending to be part of a conversation. Today he just wasn’t feeling it.

Staring down at his lunch tray brought back that queasy feeling. In front of him sat eight of the greasiest sausages he’d ever seen and a hamburger beside it. A handful of ketchup packets seemingly sprinkled around like they’d been tossed into the mix. He couldn’t remember picking out any of this stuff, and if he had he’d clearly been on one too many cold medications as of late.

Another boy sat beside him. His words startled him out of his own head. “Sup?”

Steven glanced up at him, unsure why he’d been picked. He didn’t have it in him to ask. “Think they’d let me change my dinner?”

“What’s wrong with your sausages?”

“I don’t really like eating meat.”

“Since when? Every day I’ve seen you pick up as many sausages as they’d let you. I’ve started to think you’re turning into one.”

“I’m not!” He bit back. Realizing he couldn’t remember the last time he’d sat in the lunch hall and did this. Maybe he did eat sausages? His shoulders slumped. “I saw a video about what they do to the pigs. I don’t think I wanna eat meat anymore.”

“Oh.” His companion said. “Well here. Let’s switch. I never have enough for those burgers.”

The other tray was pushed his way. A fruit cup and some veggie sticks looked more tempting than his own tray. Steven didn’t go for anything immediately. Hands under the table pushed his thumbs together a little harder.

“Why are you being so nice?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean like. You don’t know me. But you’re giving me your food.”

“We see each other most lunches? I know you used to like sausages and you socked Tom for messing with me that one time. Good enough for me.”

The boy took his tray and used the plastic knife to start splitting the sausages to put on the burger. Using the packets of ketchup to add on top. Steven had to look away. Instead, he focused on the other tray. Picking up one of the baby carrots to toss in his mouth. He was starving. He pried open the sandwich to check what was in that.

“Oh, don’t eat that, it’s ham. You can pick it off though. Make a carrot sandwich or something.”

“A carrot sandwich.” Steven snorted and smiled a little more.

Lunch went down way better than he could have ever imagined. He’d never had anyone try to befriend him before. They talked about anything and nothing. He didn’t eat the sandwich but the fruit and vegetables should be enough to get him through the rest of the day.

Learned his friend had an annoying little sister and he wanted Steven to come to his house and help him with his chores. That involved eating as many raspberries as he wanted while they berry-picked, so he was definitely going to beg his parents to let him go. By the end of it, the lunch hall was looking much emptier and staff were starting to pack up. The bell rang and his friend got up to leave first.

“Good talk. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jake. Don’t miss me too much.”

“Yeah? I mean uh- yeah. Sure thing, sausage boy. Laters gators.” Steven said quickly, getting a laugh. Offering a quick wave before taking both their trays to the cleaning station.

He felt too awkward to have spent a whole lunch with the other kid to correct him now. Didn’t even know his name. It wasn’t like names were a big deal. People got his name mixed up all the time. Could have called him Bob and he’d have answered to it. He felt far lighter in his walk back to class. Excited for the rest of his day. Most of all, he couldn’t wait to go home and tell his mom and dad everything.

#steven grant #moon knight #oscar isaac #moon knight fanfiction #jake lockey #stevens pov #open starter #open rp

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Please scream about Ghostbur to me.

Coming soon: me screaming about Halo

OKAY here goes nothing !!

Also this is one of my favorite gifs :)

ANYWAY! MOVING ON TO THE!! RAMBLE!!!

Okayokay I just recently had an epiphany in regards to Ghostbur + the rampant mischaracterization that the fandom gives to him, and the epiphany is this: Ghostbur is an extremely multi-faceted character.

That doesn’t sound too monumental on its own—well-written characters should be multi-faceted!—but with Ghostbur, I feel like it’s much more extreme… which also makes him more confusing.

It’s so freakin rare to find anyone who actually understands Ghostbur’s character & doesn’t wildly mischaracterize him/have a super strange idea of who he is, and for the longest time I couldn’t understand it! I chalked it up to fans being unable to actually look at his character and dig deeper, or only being able to see a very surface-level Ghostbur, but now I think it’s a little different than that :0

Ghostbur is a very complex little guy—which most people don’t realize! He’s mature but also childish, and he’s happy but also depressed, and he cares so deeply for everything but he also doesn’t value his own life, and he wants to die but he’s scared of death. It all sounds very contradictory, but if you understand his character then you realize it makes sense!

And I’m pretty darn certain that the reason fans misinterpret him so much is because they’re only paying attention to one of his many facets!! Rather than seeing All of Ghostbur’s facets and quirks, they only focus on one, and the result is a very very mischaracterized ghost.

There’s a big issue when it comes to infantalizing Ghostbur; it’s definitely the most common mischaracterization I’ve seen. And I think the reason it’s so rampant is because it’s… sort of grounded in truth? Ghostbur is very whimsical and silly and smiley, and he does quite a few things that would be seen as childish—things such as refusing to talk/think about sad things, only focusing on “happy” things, deriving the most fulfillment and satisfaction from simple tasks, etc etc. I don’t think it’s wrong to say that Ghostbur has childish traits! Not wrong at all!! It’s an important part of his character, I fully believe that!

The problem comes when people only see Ghostbur as childish. When they only pay attention to his sillier aspects. When they cannot understand that yes, parts of Ghostbur are childish, but he is still an adult and he’s really quite mature!!

Another mischaracterization I’ve seen, though not as frequently, is sort of… I guess “dark Ghostbur” would be the best way to put it; they think of Ghostbur as creepy, as unsettling, as dead, as unnatural, as disturbing. They see him as something wrong, as something that is not supposed to be moving and talking and smiling. Someone who watches pleasantly as terrible things happen all around, someone who’s ready to kill and torture. Basically, this version of Ghostbur leans more into the ghost aspect—specifically, a creepy, supernatural ghost who’s clearly, undeniably inhuman.

This, again, is founded on a bit of truth! Ghostbur has definitely done or said creepy things—most notably whenever he talks about death. He’ll say things like, “Alivebur blew up the nation and killed everyone, it looks like Tommy killed himself, I want to die” and he will say it all in an easy, pleasant, smiling tone of voice, as if he sees absolutely nothing disturbing about the subject matter.

But the problem happens when fans only see this side of his personality, and make it into his entire personality. Because truth is, Ghostbur isn’t a generally creepy character! He’s super sweet and wants to help people, and he’s always looking for the good in others. He just happens to also have a bit of an unsettling side to him, but that is by no means reflective of his whole entire personality, and shouldn’t be viewed as such!

The many complexities of Ghostbur is something I could literally go on and on about, but this kinda scratches the surface of what I mean. He has so many wonderful sides to his beautiful & unique personality, and I think most fans are incapable of understanding all of them :( It’s very unfortunate, because he really is SUCH an amazing character!! He’s incredible!!! He does not deserve how the fandom treats him, not at all.

#THANK YOU SO MUCH DEATHY EEEEEEEEEEE #this was so fun :D #ask #deathy tag #ghostposting #Ghostbur #dsmp ghostbur #the gif saved weirdly I think 😭 #but yeah AAAAAAAAH I FREAKING LOVE HIM!!! I FREAKING LOVE THIS GHOST!!! #AND I WILL DEFEND HIM UNTIL THE DAY MY LUNGS STOP WORKING #TRULY!!!

[frankingsteinery]

thoughts on elizabeth x justine?

personally i don’t have many strong opinions on it! i don’t think there’s much in the text to support it (and i believe elizabeth refers to justine as her sister when visiting her before her execution if i recall correctly), but i think it could be fun and cute if you enjoy shipping. in general, i do acknowledge and have even analyzed the homoromantic/erotic subtext in frankenstein, but i don’t think it was intentional or intended to be read that way, and while i enjoy engaging in shipping sometimes (and i’ve even written waltonstein fic myself), i think honestly as a whole shipping within the frankenstein fandom tends to detract from the value of the book because people focus on (inventing) romance rather than the themes and commentary that are actually present, and it usually comes at the expense of the actual characterization. i get im complaining about shipping in a fandom space, which is often inherently shippy, but it’s still a bit tiring when the only interest and content/discussion surrounding supporting characters like henry and justine and walton (who IS a narrator and a complex, rounded character! why do we not talk about walton more!) are only ever through romantic relationships with victor, elizabeth or the creature.

i can’t talk much on elizabeth x justine because i haven’t seen too much content of it, but while it isn’t as severe as other fandoms, i do see henry and victor specifically flanderized and reduced into one-dimension tropes when shipped with each other. i get henry wasn’t a rounded character in the first place but he was definitely still flawed (ex. being avoidant about victors issues, never confronting the situation even when something was obviously wrong, etc) and at times even confrontational/chastising—not unkind but chastising (im thinking specifically when henry & victor first reunite at ingolstadt and henry lectures him a little for not having written to them) and i don’t see this written about very much at all, specifically in shipping content where henry is the happy sunshine golden retriever to victor’s black cat or whatever.

i also never really see mentions of henry’s life outside of context of his life revolving around victor if that makes sense, even though shelley goes out of her way to give us a bit of backstory on the clervals, and to establish that he has stuff going on outside of his relationship with the frankensteins. it’s always “henry is sad victor is going away for college and won’t be able to see him” and YES that is absolutely a part of it, but he’s also a dreamer who’s dissatisfied with the career that’s been dictated by his family, the life trajectory set out for him, who advocates for himself and argues with his father to pursue these dreams and get a higher education. he IS optimistic and a deliberate foil + supporting character to victor in a lot of ways, but he was also dissatisfied and upset with the career that had been chosen for him, and it’s implied his relationship with his father is a bit rocky, and, like victor, he could be a bit morose almost—go look in the 1818 novel when clerval is walking victor to the carriage after williams death; it’s quite far from most fanon interpretations of him

overall i think shipping in frankenstein can be entertaining, but i tend to be quite picky and enjoy content that dissects the themes and characters themselves more rather than romance just being the sole focus, and for this reason i tend to stick more to the analysis side of things!

#rob.txt #frankenstein #victor frankenstein #henry clerval #elizabeth lavenza #justine moritz #gothic lit #asks #this isn’t to slander people who enjoy shipping! #i do! #but often most content of it #isn’t my cup of tea : )

[daffodildelight]

Enemies (Part Three) | Shuntarō Chishiya x Reader

Title: Enemies (Part Three)

Pairing: Shuntarō Chishiya x fem!reader

Summary: Time to start The Jack of Hearts game but how can the reader cope under pressure?

Themes/Warnings: bad writing, fluff, angst, all that jazz

Word count: 5000ish

A/N: I didn't write Ōki Ippei in this because I kinda needed to put the reader somewhere.... also not edited hehe

I moved away from Chishiya and towards the other side of the lobby before the tension between us becomes too powerful. I look around the room to get a vibe with the other players and to see if any feel ‘off’ to me.

In any of these games, you will get the scared players who let their emotions take the best of them which is bad in so many ways and unfortunately for Chishiya and I most people in this room are like this, apart from a selected few.

A beautiful woman stood next to me, her hair half pinned up in such an elegant way with the rest falling at shoulder length. Her dress is a light shade of blue fitting her body impeccably, everything about her screams perfection which is extremely dangerous in these types of games. Because if she has any confidence everyone will try and follow her, and kiss her ass this could make her the ‘leader’ and if your views don’t match hers things could end badly. But that’s if she plays her cards right.

Another person who stands out to me is the last man who entered the game, his face seems very familiar to you but you can’t put your finger on it. His aura is off-putting. It feels like if you cross him something bad will happen, his outfit goes with this as well. Plain dark blue shirt and black dress pants, normal on anyone else but for him, it screams ‘stay away’. The person next to this man is less intimating, with scruffy hair and sitting but remaining silent. That doesn’t mean I should take my eye off him because it’s always the quiet ones and especially if these two will be partnering up.

And of course, the couple in the corner I have to be aware of. Partners who trust each other in this game can be ideal for the Jack to hide in. The man in this relationship is the dominating type while the woman is the sub. This confirms my theory in one of two ways, the first way is what I witnessed in the cell during their ‘alone time’ and how the male was manhandling the female and the second is how they’re talking to each other right now. Him standing over her and enclosing themselves into the wall behind them discussing ways how to win the game. Both are wearing business casual suits giving them a ‘don’t fuck with us’ vibe, best leave them be for now.

After briefly analysing everyone those 5 are my main priority. I also need to focus on having a partner that I can trust. Don’t get me wrong Chishiya would be a great partner but I’ve seen him in multiple games backstabbing people and I don’t wanna be in that position unless I really have to. It looks like I have no other choice though because he’s the only one I know and I can’t build trust with a random stranger in these games. I’m brought back to attention when two men in the middle of the lobby discuss giving each other the answer, but stop when the man in the business suit talks sternly.

“So, the 20 of us need to eliminate each other until we somehow find who the Jack of Hearts is. What makes you think that anyone is trustworthy?” The man in the suit gives them a judging stare. He’s already trying to insert dominance into everyone by showing how smart he is, and it’s working. Because his words now make some people not want to trust each other. But this works in Chishiya and I’s favour because the more people who kill themselves the closer we are to figure out who the Jack of Hearts is. You make eye contact with Chishiya once again asking with your eyes if we were gonna team, he nods knowing exactly what I was thinking with my eyes.

The beautiful woman next to me pipes up in a sweet voice. “How about we get together and make teams to tell each other? So that way nobody can lie.” And there it is, she’s playing her cards right. Making herself confident so she can be the leader and everyone can follow her around. “Good idea” some says next to me, lots of others agree with her. What a load of ass-kissers, sometimes I hate being right. A quarter of the people in the lobby make their way over to her and beg to join her group. I make my way back to Chishiya because I’m now focused on the game instead of his sexy sly smirk.

“Now what’s happening in that pretty head of yours? I see you examining people, who must we keep an eye on?” Chishiya speaks in a whisper so nobody can hear.

“Lady in the blue dress, her influence with the group can turn nasty quickly, we don’t want to be put against a group of people. The man and woman in the business suits seem to be intelligent and the trust in one another is gonna be hard to break. Then lastly the quiet pair in the back, something feels off about the guy with the dark blue shirt it’s like I've seen him somewhere before and the guy next to him is quiet. I don’t trust quiet people. Plus it looks like they might team up sooner or later.” You finish your little monologue, feeling accomplished.

Chishiya smirks “you are definitely smarter than you look, and you are right about the man in the dark blue shirt. He was getting increasingly popular in the other world” Chishiya chuckles.

“Was he a singer or something? Come on Chishiya just tell me I thought we were working together” you wined hoping that this would give you the answer but before Chishiya could you, you were interrupted by the beautiful girl in the blue dress followed by her new possy. “Hey, do you wanna join our team? No pressure or anything” she asks nicely. Before you could tell her to fuck off Chishiya speaks up “Okay we’ll join the group”. The woman in the blue dress smiles and walks away.

You turn to Chishiya and give him a death stare. “What the hell was that for? We don’t need to be in a group with little miss perfect over there. We can trust each other to give the answer.” Chishiya slyly smirks before saying “This is all part of the plan, remember that old saying (Y/N)? ‘Keep your friends close but your enemies closer’? This is our way to watch that group destroy itself and get closer to the Jack without tackling one of the bigger obstacles”. Chishiya replies smugly.

You watched Chishiya follow the group over to a more open space, you learnt that little Miss Perfects' name was Urumi and she was the first person for everyone to tell her suit to. “So I’m gonna go first okay? I hope you’ll ALL give me the right answer” Urumi infixes the word to make herself look and feel cooler. You never wanted to punch someone more in the face.

The group replies back with her chosen suit, heart, and then cycles through everyone else in the group. You noticed a man, getting dragged around by a tall beefy guy behind the group and they head towards the downstairs area. Very interesting.

It’s Chishiya and I’s turn to get our suits from the group, and they happily give them to us. I pull Chishiya away from the group just to double-check. Grabbing him by the sleeve of his iconic white windbreaker and moving us to a separate corridor. “I didn’t know you were this frisky (Y/N), to have our fun time in the middle of the corridor when people are around” He smiles seductively.

“You know that’s not what I’m here to do” You reply with a monotone voice. Chishiya drops a little bit but is still interested in what you’re gonna say. You still needed to find out what Chishiya was gonna say about that familiar guy and you wanted to double-check what suit is behind your ear. “Where is that guy from?” You subtly pointed in his direction then continue “and I want you to double-check my suit”.

“Nobodies gonna kill anyone this round (Y/N) you should know that.” He moves his hands to my waist and turns me around so that my ass is very close to his crouch. Chishiya moves in even closer, he takes my hair into a ponytail and moves it to the left side of my shoulder. You can feel this breath on your neck and for sure your whole body just erupted in goosebumps. Chishiya lightly grazes your neck with his nose in an intimate action before coming up to your ear. “You’re a diamond, just like what everyone said in the group” he steps back so you could turn round. You take a few seconds to collect yourself before turning back around.

“Do you want me to check yours?” you spoke quickly in a whisper.

“Nah I trust the group, for the meantime” Chishiya smirks. Chishiya looks around the game area before finding the pantry. “We have lots of time to kill, let's eat some food or I can think of other ways to pass it” Chishiya raises his eyebrows.

You walk past Chishiya and muttered a “You wish” just loud enough for him to hear. Silently wishing it would happen. But you mustn't let yourself fall for easy tactics, you needed to focus back on the game. Sitting where the food is was quite entertaining, you watched all the players interact with one another to try and spot anything out of the ordinary but nothing has popped up yet. Chishiya sits next to you on the floor eating biscuits from a yellow packet.

“You want some?” Chishiya asks politely holding out the packet. Never have I seen Chishiya share anything, and for some reason, it’s been happening a lot recently. The bomb and now his biscuits. Originally I thought it was because he wanted to get close to Hatter and steal the cards, but Hatters is dead and there's nothing he can get out of me unless he wants to use me in a game. Hence why I need to focus on myself. Emotions can be very dangerous. “No, I don’t want your crusty biscuits” I laughed.

“Excuse you!” he lets out a small laugh. “These just aren’t any crusty biscuits, these are the best biscuits in the world. Seriously try one” Chishiya grabs one and shoves it to your face. You feel apprehensive, but you go for it anyway. Taking the biscuit from his hands with your mouth you bite it in one go. You will never doubt Chishiya again because they were the best biscuits you’ve ever tasted. “Okay you might be right” you say with a whole lot of biscuits in your mouth. I move closer to Chishiya to grab more of the biscuits but he’s quick to move away. “I already gave you one princess, there is still some left in the pantry go get your own” he laughs. You slowly make your way to the pantry and come back with a packet, by the time you did that it was time to enter your cell.

“It is time to give your answer” the PA chimes and then continues “Please enter a solitary confinement cell of your choosing”. Making your way upstairs with the packet of biscuits you just acquired. You find an empty cell and Chishiya finds one right next to you. Its doors open at the same, waiting for you to go inside. You give one last longing look to Chishiya before heading in. The cell was very small and grotty. It smells of mould and you couldn’t wait to get out of there. You continue to eat biscuits before the cell door slams behind you and locks, leaving you jumping in fright.

“Please give your answer” the PA demanded into the empty cell. I speak clearly into the cell because I don’t know where the mic is “Diamond”. It’s fairly quiet for a second, you can hear the countdown from outside which does not put your nerves at ease. Suddenly a bell rings which gives you a bigger fright and the cell door unlocks itself. You step out before Chishiya and wait patiently for him. He exits his cell but not before making another sly comment.

“You waited for me? Oh, that’s cute” Chishiya chuckles. You huff in response and walk towards Urumi’s group. During the walk you contemplated your friendship with Chishiya, maybe this was all one-sided and he was doing this for jokes? Or maybe he was buttering you up to use you in a game? Chishiya only does things to benefit himself so the latter would be the most viable option, which leaves you stuck in a game like this. Because you can’t trust Chishiya or the group. “I know what you’re thinking princess” Chishiya speaks up next to you. “I would never use you in a game unless for this instance you’re the Jack”. You walk up faster and join Usumi.

“Round two begins now” Chimes the PA system. You can feel the suit changing in your collar when it finishes its chimes.

The group is looking more anxious than I participated. All members are thankful to be alive but Usumi doesn’t give any input and just stares at her nails waiting to know what her next suit is. The group continues to express thankfulness but your attention was turned to a man yelling at another player demanding what his new suit is. Funny enough it was the same man who dragged a player last round. A voice speaks up next to you, “I keep wondering how long this is going to go for.” The player with the shaggy hair states and his partner the one that looks familiar to you continues. “Either the Jack will start to kill, or someone who’s afraid of the Jack will start to kill. Until either or both of those things happen, this will never end.” Chishiya makes himself known to the pair by agreeing with them, “Exactly”.

“What the fuck!” suddenly a player gets pushed to the ground right next to the four of us. “I told you to give me the answer!” shouts the man who was aggressive to other players last round. The player who was pushed to the ground stays there with shaky arms and legs. Suddenly the familiar man stands up and walks to the player on the ground. “Are you alright?” you hear him say to the other player, the man responded with a nod. I few seconds pass when you see the familiar man whisper something into his ear that you can’t pick up on. Both Chishiya and I pick up on this and look at each other. The moment is ruined when the aggressive player speaks again “Looks to me you want another beating. Huh?” he grabs the player from the ground and grabs their hair to get them to stand up. Before landing a blow which sends him back down again. This argument gains the attention of Usumi’s group and now has everyone watching.

“Give me the answer!” the aggressive player has his fist in the air one more time before the player gives in. “C--c” he stutters a bit before saying “Club”. The aggressive man laughs and speaks in a cocky voice “Don’t wait so long next time.” He gets up to walk away and leaves the other player on the floor. I turn to look at his collar and notice that he does not have clubs displayed but diamonds.

Chishiya picks up on this as well. It must have been something to do with what the familiar man whispered in his ear. It doesn’t take you long to figure out what it is, only because you know the player on the ground. You’ve played games with him before and he isn’t the type to do things like this unless provoked by others. Now you really need to know who this man is and the only person who knows is Chishiya but we keep on getting interpreted or I keep forgetting because our sexual tension is making me lose focus.

Usumi strolls over to the player on the floor but not forgetting to put on her best smile “Are you alright?” she asks in a sickly sweet tone. “How would you like to join up with our group instead?” Ah yes, it's all about the game with her. “Thank you” the player says and walks over to the group.

You sigh becoming slightly bored in this place, the group continues to give everyone the right answers and overall the group feels more relaxed. Once you get your answer you pull Chishiya away to get him to double-check the collar then you do the same for him. Chishiya still gets very close to me when telling my suit but not that I care, I love the feeling of his strong hands on my waist and his hot breath in my ear. You’re not gonna let your horniness for this man get to you. You need to know where you know the guy in the dark blue shirt. After telling Chishiya his suit I ask sternly to get my point across. “So who is that guy in the dark blue shirt?”

“You don’t remember much of the real world, do you? He was everywhere, on the radio and TV. He was practically famous” Chishiya uses his signature smirk. Confused you push for more answers. “Was he a famous singer or something?” You laugh hoping to get the answer sooner or later because quite frankly it’s killing you not knowing. “You could say he is famous in a special way, you know what I’ll tell you if you give me something in return” Chishiya grins deeper, you could tell he was planning something. Curiosity killed the cat and unfortunately you’re itching to find out who this guy is that you’re willing to compromise yourself for. “What do you want?” you ask in a questioning tone.

Chishiya looks pleased that you were willing to trade information “An I owe you, you have to do anything I tell you to”. You gasp in disbelief “That is a horrible trade, I need more terms and conditions than that” standing your ground. Chishiya sighs “Okay how about an ‘I owe you’ but I can’t use it in any games or use it that could lead you to die”. You seriously think about this offer, maybe this information could be quite useful and help you catch the Jack. Surely his ‘I owe you’ won't be too bad on me. You accept with a nod because It’s too good to pass up information.

Chishiya reaches for your hand to shake. His hands feel so strong and warm wrapped around yours for a handshake, you seriously need to snap out of it. Stopping the handshake you wait patiently for Chishiya to tell you who the dark blue player is. “His name is Sunato Banda, he killed 4 women which makes him a serial killer” Chishiya speaks up while eating another biscuit. “I suspect he told the player on the ground to lie to the other one for fun or to begin the game somehow” you agree with him by nodding along to his statement.

Time seemed to pass by slowly in the prison but you did find ways of keeping entertained. Standing next to Chishiya waiting for time to pass is quite fun especially when you can get to annoy him. Trying to steal his biscuits is becoming a fun game for you or commenting on how short he is just to get a rise out of him. Sometimes it works other times he’s too focused on at staring players making their way in and out of the pantry.

An hour is almost up and it was time for Chishiya ad I to head towards the cells. I repeat the same process as before, looking longingly at Chishiya before entering my cell and disclosing my answer. The answer was right and I could move on to the next round but not before hearing an explosion from down the hall. The aggressive man’s picture on the TV darkens and with the first death underway many are starting to feel the stress.

Walking up to Urumi you wait for the rest of the group. You both give each other looks and you can tell she doesn’t like you either. I could see this going badly. Chishiya arrives seconds later with everyone else. “That guy must be the Jack” Urumi states while looking towards the player who lied to the aggressive man. Urumi continues smiling “He lied to that big bully and killed him. I think we better kill him next turn”. The group is shocked at this statement. “Are you saying we should lie to him?” Someone pipes up, hoping Urumi drops it but she keeps pushing. “Of course. He’s definitely the Jack. And if not he's still dangerous. We should eliminate him while we have the chance”. Now everyone looks at each other apprehensively but no one speaks up.

Turning to Chishiya you raise an eyebrow and make your way over to him. “I have a feeling Urumi is gonna chuck me under the bus soon” you whisper into his ear. Chishiya hums in agreement. “Good thing you have me” Chishiya whispers back. You move your eyes towards the wall in front of you and see Banda giving Chishiya a stare that could make anyone stop. “Oh, would you look at that Chishiya you have a secret admirer, that's so cute” Never not gonna tease Chishiya. Chishiya makes eye contact with Banda for a very long time and then looks away. “Let's go to the pantry” Chishiya mumbles because he notices Urumi and the others moving there.

The group stood in a circle taking turns telling each other the answer, Chishiya and I both get our answers before stepping back and watching the drama unfold. Urumi steps up and everyone reveals her symbol as a diamond before she turns around and does the answer for the man she has her prey on. “Looks like your symbol’s a spade” Urumi starts the conversation with the group hesitantly agreeing behind her. “Thank you very much” the man now sighs in relief. Chishiya and I watch from the bench what his true symbol is. A heart. If you were in the real world and nobody would get hurt in these games you would tell him his real symbol, but it isn't like that anymore. You had to be tough to live out here and for you the more people that die the closer you are to catching the Jack.

Chishiya continues to eat his biscuits while you try and focus on who the Jack might be. Time goes by really fast when you use your brain. You start walking to the cells not feeling sure about the answer you got from the group. “Chishiya can you please tell me what my symbol is” Chishiya laughs.

“What am I gonna get in return” Chishiya smiles. You start to feel very nervous, hands start to shake. “Why does there have to be anything? Please just tell me, I don’t trust Urumi and I think she's out to get me” you whisper so the group can’t hear you. “You need to stop being so anxious (Y/N) because you will spile out of control then you’ll stop trusting everyone and that’ll end badly” Chishiya turns me around pulling my hair to the side before saying “You’re a spade, just like the group said. ”

Huffing in announce your state in an annoyed tone “Trust is earned Chishiya, I don’t trust anyone here.” You instantly regret your choice of words because this has compromised the relationship you have with Chishiya,

“Including me?” Chishiya asks. Huge tension is present when his comment is spoken. Looking at Chishiya you can tell he’s serious. Deep down you know you can trust him but the games you've seen him play and his actions at The Beach stop you from speaking the truth. “I’ve seen you ‘make friends’ with people and then use them as sacrifices in games.” You begin and then continue with a shaky breath, “This might be the game getting to my head but I’m pretty sure I can’t trust anyone including you.”. Now you really need to shut your mouth before it’s too late.

“Wow okay” Chishiya's demeanour doesn’t change but you can see something switch in his eyes. “But you trusted me when I was patching up your wounds? Wow, very manipulator of you (Y/N)”. You both arrive at the cells stepping into different ones this time not looking at Chishiya before entering. I speak my answer into the P.A., I’m not feeling nervous because I know that if Chishiya will betray me it won't be this early in the game. I live, thankfully, and continue to step out of the cell at the same time as Chishiya but things feel cold. He doesn’t walk side by side with you anymore but a few steps in front of you with a blank face.

Making your way towards the centre of the lobby you see the group discussing how the man they just killed turned out not to be the Jack. Each group member is really feeling the stress now but Urumi stands back and eats her food. Chishiya and I stand to the side while he talks to me with no emotion and his only intent is to focus on the game. “People are starting to get nervous like you. I know they said there was no time limit… except that people are actually starting to die now. I’m not sure we’ll even find the Jack for sure.” Chishiya states with a jab towards you.

Sighing, needing to fix the awkward tension between you too because if you don’t your risking yourself and Chishiya in the long run. Turning to face him you speak up in a firm tone but quickly enough so no one else can hear “Look, what I meant to say back there was trusting people is hard in a world like this. I used to have a friend who came into this world with me, we were friends for 10 years before all this and she stabbed me in the back during a game and I nearly died. I won’t go through that again, so I’m not taking back my statement. I don’t trust anyone here fully, but I do trust you the most and the more time we spend together the more I can trust you. But for now, I trust you enough for this game” You finish your monologue feeling apprehensive about how Chishiya will react. Chishiya laughs stepping forward with his signature smirk “At least I got something, but don’t worry princess I’ll earn your trust soon enough”.

You’re feeling happy to know that you and Chishiya are back on good terms but the awkward tension is still lurking there at times. Hanging out in the pantry part of the prison is quite fun only because you and Chishiya sit very close together because of the bench seats you’re sitting at. Shoulder to shoulder again, you never want to leave. It gives you a sense of comfort and stability knowing that Chishiya is right next to you but for now you are focused on the group because Urumi has now singled out yet another person. This time because the woman wasn’t “on our side when we tried to get our stories straight earlier” what surprises you most is that Urumi asks for everyone’s opinion on killing her. Of course, everyone followed the ring leader and it was decided that she was the one to be killed next.

Chishiya was eating his way through another pack of cookies and you couldn’t help but notice the tension in Urumi’s group, you need to figure out a plan with Chishiya before it’s too late. “Hey Chishiya” you whisper into his ear to avoid others listening in. “I know we had a fight about this earlier but I’ve decided I’m not gonna trust the group anymore and put my life in your hands. So from now on, I want to know my symbol from you. But I will be keeping appearances with the group just in case I need to get the upper advantage if anything happens.” looking him in the eyes so he knows that I mean it.

“That’s what I was gonna suggest with you” Chishiya says slyly. Leaning forward onto the table to collect more biscuits from his packaging. “I have a plan forming in my head, so just hold back from doing anything until I tell you otherwise. My plan will only work if you follow my rules. Understand?” he says nonchalantly in a way that doesn’t draw attention to our conversation. “Understood, sir” you gave him a joking salute to ease up the pressure. The group decided to start telling everyone’s symbols now. There we go again everyone steps into the circle to tell each other their symbol. Up comes the lady everyone wants to kill, Urumi tells her she has a club instead of a heart then comes the chorus of group members agreeing with her. If there’s one thing I know, I want to get my revenge on this bitch.

Apparently my symbol this round is a diamond and Chishiya’s is a spade. But of course, you go to each other afterwards to double-check. This happens for a while, round after round and your start to get really tired. At one point you fall asleep on the pantry table, Chishiya takes off his white Nike jacket and bundles it into a pillow for you. You make eye contact before your pulled away to sleep and in his eyes, you see a lot of emotion that isn’t shown on his face. Which emotions? I don’t know but you do want to take a dive at it at some point.

Urumi group has suddenly lost a few more members and everyone’s on edge, people are starting to lose it. One of the members is starting to pull his hair out and it’s giving me really bad vibes.

Round nine begins now

Chishiya whispers into my ear “This is where shit goes down, I really need you to trust me now if you want to survive.” Judging by the way of his calm exterior you guess he’s already figured it out. “Whatever you need Chishiya” you reply back hoping this wouldn’t end up with you being killed.

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