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theyhavetakenovermylife · 5 months

Note

AHH HII I DONT KNOW IF YOURE TAKING REQUESTS BUT YOUR 2007 FICS ARE SO 💋😩🤌

i would LOOOOOVVEEEE to see how everything went down when leo actually came back.. would they tell him? would raph continue to do it? would she choose one over the other? AHHH SO MANY POSSIBILITIES if you’re not taking requests ignore this but i would beg you for some closure or just more spicy fics HAHAH🤭

Anger: part 2 (18+) (Angst)

2007!Raphael x reader (a little 2007!Leonardo x reader)

Part 1 / Part 3 Leonardo's Ending Raphael’s Ending

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A/N: Thank you for your request! I’ve been so tempted to continue it, but I wasn’t quite sure how, as I can only see this situation end in a specific way. I decided to go in a third direction, bc let’s face it, everybody has made their own bed in this lol. And bc it is the 2007 TMNT, I’ve allowed myself to go extra angst. Hope you enjoy!💙❤️

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You and Raphael’s sexual relationship has taken a turn in the serious direction, but then an old missed face comes home, stirring up feelings once again, especially anger.

Warning: Sex as a coping mechanism, angry sex, angst, emotional betrayal, swearing, Leo and Raph being horrible brothers to each other, cheating?

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It had been almost a year. A year had passed since Leonardo’s training had ended, yet there was no sight of him. You clearly remembered the night you sat in your window, with a slight hope that Leo would come home. It almost felt wrong to think in such a way, especially after a year of sneaking around with his own brother. You had found Raphael’s pressens comforting, even if most of the time was spent moaning or calling out his name in ecstasy, with your legs spread wide or over his shoulder.

You really liked the time you had spent with Raph, even if he wasn’t much up for talking about emotions. He was there for you, in a way Leo hadn’t been able to in a long time. Yet, when you saw a familiar figure out on your fire escape, during the last hour of Leo’s return day, you were slightly disappointed to see Raphael instead. He too didn’t seem too happy. And that was the moment you realized that Leo most likely wouldn’t come home again.

That night with Raphael was way more passionate than what you had been used to with him. Passionate with an undertone of sadness, but intense. There had been very little dirty talk from Raph, yet his eyes spoke with more emotion than they ever did before. Same with his hips, as they thrusted into you with more focus and intention, instead of his usual rapid angry way.

Raphael stayed that night, like he had done so often up until that point. And as you woke up the next day, and began your obligatory morning sex, a change in your and Raph’s relationship was noted. Though still rough, it was not as hard as usual. Though there was still anger hidden in there somewhere, it was not as prominent as before. Sex between you and Raph was no longer a coping mechanism. It was no longer about the absence of Leo, but just about you and Raphael.

Sex in Leo’s room grew old long ago. After Raph had had you in every possible way on every surface of his older brother's room, it started to move into his own room. The first time he had you on his own bed, he felt like he had won a major victory in a long fought battle. It satisfied him to have your scent spread all over his room, in such a way that Leo had never managed to in his own room. With your legs over his shoulders, his hips pounding into you over and over again, and your hands holding on to him for dear life, he felt like the king of the world. How you would hold onto his head while his tongue was writing his name over your dripping cunt, or the way your mouth felt around his dick and how you worked to make him feel good. It was enough to make any man go mad. And that was almost what Raph did, whenever he sat around, waiting for the perfect moment to jump on you again without, the rest of his family noticing.

When Raph would come back home, after a night of crime fighting as the Nightwatcher, finding you sleeping in his bed. Waiting for him to come back home to you. Waiting for him to hold you tight before giving you yet another earth shattering night to remember. And unlike his brother, Raphael did just that. He came home to you to take care of you, just like Leo never would. Or so he thought.

Leo had to admit that he was slightly fearful as he stepped into the sewers. Even after what April had told him, he still feared the reactions that would come from his family. Would they be angry or would they be happy? He did not know. But the reaction he feared the most was yours. Leo first thought when he came to New York was to go to your place, just to see you again. But remembering how late it was, and not knowing what plans you had the next day, he opted to make his way straight to the sewers.

The first thing that met Leo as he stepped into his old family home, was the sound of his two youngest brother’s snoring. Both Donnie and Mikey sprawled out in front of the TV, pizza boxes laying all around them. Leo smiled at the sight, remembering what April had told him. They had jobs now, however that was possible for two mutant turtles. But because of that they probably needed their sleep, and therefore Leo decided it was best to leave them alone for now.

When Leo first stepped into his room, he was surprised by the smell that met him. The scent of you was very strong, almost jumping at him. Had you been touching yourself in his room? It touched Leo deep. A pang of guilt pinching his heart. But there was another smell. A familiar one, yet he could not place it. It did not seem to fit into his room, and definitely not with the smell of you.

After having placed his things in his room, Leo went down to the dojo. He had a feeling that Master Splinter was up and waiting for him there. So when Leo found his father sitting in the dojo patiently waiting for him, he sat down.

Raphael knew as soon as he walked out of his bedroom. He stopped in his tracks, feeling all sorts of emotions. Happiness, pleasantly surprised, confused, unsure, angry. Leo was home. His big brother was home. The man that had you first was home.

He went to the dojo and peeked through the open doors. The sight of his brother talking to Master Splinter was like a punch to the guts. They were talking like they did any other day, as if Leo hadn’t been gone for two years. Raph did not hear a single word they said. All he could think about was you, and how you would react when you knew Leonardo was back home.

Master Splinter said something, which prompted Leo to turn and look in Raph’s direction. The red clad turtle panicked a bit, not sure what to say. He ended up settling with a simple welcome home and that he was going to bed, before turning and waking up his brothers.

But Raphael did not go to bed. While Master Splinter and his brothers were distracted by Leonardo’s return, Raphael went straight to the apartment he had found himself in more and more often over the past year.

You were sleeping peacefully when Raph came to your bedroom window. If it had been any other night, Raph would have climbed in quietly through your unlocked window, before spooning you in your sleep, waiting for you to wake up. But not that night. Raph had thrown all his quiet skills as a ninja out the door, as he banged your window closed behind him, causing you to stir in your sleep, slowly waking up.

“Raph?”, you asked, rubbing your eyes as the named turtle started taking off his gear, in a way he hadn’t done for a long time.

Raph didn’t answer, but instead he slammed his lips to yours. You moaned out in pleasant confusion as your tongues danced together in your mouth. It had been a long time ago since Raph had been this rough with you, and you could not help but wonder what had caused it. But as he started pulling your underwear off, feeling how wet you already were against his fingers, you couldn’t help but moan in pleasure, enjoying this side of Raph you hadn’t seen in a while.

The sex that night was rough. Not unpleasant, but hard. It was like being fucked like the same way Raph used to do it one and a half years ago. Expect he didn’t talk dirty to you like he used to back then. This time he growled more than before, and would bark out small sentences, such as “take it”, “look at me” and “say my name”. It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy it, because you did. You had nothing against rough sex, and especially not the way Raph did it, but you still couldn’t shake the feeling that something had pushed him. The gripe of his hand around your neck as he fucked you sensless, made you think that he wanted people to notice someone had held you down like this. Like he wanted to prove something.

Raph was angry as he slapped your ass during doggy style, bringing his hands down hard against your flesh, one after the other, before grabbing onto your hips and thrusting into you like a drill. But he was not angry at you, but Leo. After all this time, how dared he come home now? After you and him finally were doing a little more than just fucking, he had to come and fuck it up. He just had to come and take you away from him one more time. But Raphael wouldn’t let that happen, especially not now while you were calling out his name, begging him to make you cum, just like you had done so many times before.

After three rounds, you thought that Raph would what had almost become a habit to him. To stay the rest of the night, and leave in the early hours of the morning, before his family would notice he had been gone. But to your surprise, Raph was already putting his gear back on, just as quickly as he had been taking them off.

“Raph?”, you asked, watching him in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing”, he said, tying the knot on his belt. “Absolutely nothing”.

“But that’s not true, is it?”, you asked, getting out of your bed, while he acted like he didn’t hear you. “Somethings going on, isn’t there?”

Raph growled quietly in response, irritated that you could feel his anger. He tried to relax his fists as he turned to you, fighting to keep his expression neutral. “Nothing is going on, (Y/N)”.

But you didn’t buy it. You frowned your eyes, blinking at him a few times, and Raph knew he had no way out of this one.

“You know what? Forget it. It’s not something to bother you with”, he said, trying to sound as sincere as possible, before turning to leave out the window. You called after him as he climbed up the fire escape. You quickly put on a pair of pants before hurrying up after him, your bare feet against the cold metal of the fire espace. He might have been a ninja, but you wouldn’t let him leave so easily. First Leo and now Raph. You couldn’t let it happen again.

You caught up with Raphael on the roof, grabbing onto his arm before he could leave. He looked at your hand on his bicep, almost as if it was hurting. But he did not pull back. Instead he sighed as you continued to ask him.

“Please tell me what is going on, Raph”, you almost begged him, shivering in the cold wind of the New York night. “You can’t just leave like that, not like…” You didn’t get to finish that sentence, before another presence jumped onto the roof. A breath hitched in your throat as you recognized the shape of his face, shell and the katanas strapped onto his back.

Raph’s eyes fell to the ground as he took a long breath in. Of course he had to be here now.

“... Leo?”

Your expression and the way you said his name was almost enough to bring Leo to his knees. Surprise, hurt, sad, confused. You stared at him, wondering if you were dreaming, almost scared to reach out to him. Leo could only imagine how confused you must be at that moment. It hurt him, and it hurt him even more to know that he was the reason you felt like that.

“Hey, (Y/N)”.

Raphael bit the inside of his cheek, watching as you let go of his arm and walked to Leo. He had known this would happen. It was like watching the two of you a few years ago. I love with those eyes you and Raph was slowly building up over the days. He almost had what you and Leo had, just so much better. But then Leo had to come and ruin it. Not only did he come back and take you from him, but he just came back like that, leaving Raph feeling even more betrayed by his brother.

Leo opened his arms a little, ready to hug you like he had done so many times before. To comfort you in the way he should have done once his training had finished. Raph looked away, feeling the lump in his throat build up when...

SMACK.

Raph looked up at the sound, staring at the scene in front of him. Leo almost forgot to breathe. Eyes staring off into the distance, his cheek burning with a tingling yet painful sensation. You had just slapped him. Leo looked confused at you, only to be met by your angry expression and your teared up eyes. You wanted to slap him again, feeling all the anger from the unknown that had been building up over the past two years, finally boiling over. But you didn’t. Instead you started yelling, louder than Leo had ever heard you yell before.

“A whole year, Leonardo! A whole fucking year! Half a year without writing, and then you don’t show, and another year later you expect a hug!?”

“I’m- I’m sorry, (Y/N). They needed me, I- I had to”, Leo stammered, not sure what to tell you.

Raph was surprised. He had never heard Leo stammer and never in front of you. The fearless leader never stammered, not even when he was cold. But a slap to the face by you was what did it.

“And you never thought that I needed you?! Leo, I fucking waited for you everday, even after you stopped writing!”

“Like I said, (Y/N); I’m sorry! They- they needed me in the jungle! They were killing people! Innocent people! I- I had to stay there, I couldn’t just let people get killed!”

“And you couldn’t tell me that at least once during a year and a half? Leo, I thought you were dead when you didn’t come home!”

Leo didn’t answer that. Instead his eyes fell to the ground as he felt guilt eat him from the shell up. Why didn’t he write? He wasn’t sure. He did have the time. Was it because he at one point feared that everyday could be his last, or was it because he for a short time felt he did better saving people in the jungle, than he ever did as a leader for his brothers? He did not know. He had totally forgotten about you and how you must have been feeling while he was gone. Leonardo had fucked up big time, thinking he was saving people, all while leaving the girl he used to call his girlfriend alone in the unknown.

“And you!”, you yelled, turning to Raphael, pointing your finger straight at his face. “This is why you were so angry, wasn’t it?! And yet you didn’t tell me?! How long has Leo been home Raphael?! Huh?!”

Raph snatched your finger in the air, his blood boiling with anger. He just had to say it. Especially in front of Leo, now that you had been yelling at him like that. He just had to stump it further into the wound, even if it meant evoking your anger even further.

“As I recall you didn’t seem to mind me doing you angry while Leo was gone”.

Leo snapped his attention straight at Raphael with that comment. Then he realized. That smell in his room. It was Raphael. It was his own brother. His scent mixed with yours all over his room. On every fucking surface. The realization hit him even harder than any of your words had. He couldn’t believe it. He refused to believe it.

“You didn’t”, was all Leo could choke out, feeling his hands shaking.

Raph cured himself and his own anger. He cared for his brother, but his brother never cared for him. Raph’s hurt and insecurities grew stronger than any rational decision he could make up.

“Every night and every day”, Raph said, letting go of you before turning his attention towards his older brother. “Hard and good”. You saw as Leo’s chest moved up and down as his breathing sped up, a fire burning in his eyes. You would be lying if you said it didn’t scare you. Because it did.

“You’re lying”, Leo growled.

“Why would I lie about that? For the same stupid reason you didn’t come home? Because guess what, while you were gone, being a hero in the forest, I took care of her better than you ever did”.

That was what broke Leo. In anger he drew his katanas, not even waiting for his brother to pull out his sai. Raph felt horrible for liking how angry he made Leo. As he dodged his brother's sharp blades, he pulled out his sais, ignoring how you yelled at them to cut it out. The battle that followed was intense, with you yelling at them to stop. But they didn’t. Not until Raph and Leo pinned against the roof.

It was there, staring down at his big brother’s hurt and angry eyes, Raph realized what he was doing. What he had done. Broken his trust with not just you, but his own flesh and blood. And now he was fighting his brother, ignoring the calling of the person he told himself he was doing it for. Just like Leo, he had fucked up. He had fucked up big time.

Raph didn’t know what to do. He was scared. Scared of his own actions against two people he cared for. Therefore he grabbed a hold of his sais and ran. For once he didn’t feel anger, but sadness. And Raph didn’t know what to do with sadness like this, except hiding.

Leo called out for his brother, telling him to call back. Not to fight. No, he knew just as well as Raph that he had fucked up. He had created a burning absence with no closure, and the two of you had found your own way to cope. He was naive to think you would still stick around after a year and a half without a single word.

Anger burns bright and hot, and kept unchecked it will bring down everything around it. And now you, Raph and Leo were all feeling the effects of that burning anger.

187 notes · View notes

mountttmase · 1 year

Text

Lost And Found

Note - thank you so much for the love on my last fic 🩷 this one you’re about to read is one of the very first ideas I had for a fic so it’s a little bit like my baby but I’m giving her wings and letting her fly 😂 I really hope you enjoy it 💙

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 6.8k

Warnings - angst and fluff

‘Oh come on please don’t do this’ you spoke into the air, rummaging around in your bag for your keys on your front door step. They had somehow grown legs and gone for a walk and the rain that was starting to pour from the night sky was not making the situation any easier.

You reached for you phone to turn the torch on so you could see in your bag better but the light only lasted a few seconds before disappearing. You turned your phone over to investigate and when nothing happed your realised the battery had finally died after a long days use. You let out a big sigh before sitting back on the step, your head falling into your hands.

‘Right come on, just take a second and think’ you told yourself out loud, hoping you could talk yourself into magically finding them and after a few deep breaths you stood back up, patting yourself down to make sure they weren’t in any of your pockets or attached to you in any way. Once you’d ruled that out you moved back to your bag, checking every pocket and practically emptying the whole contents out onto the floor but your keys were still nowhere to be seen.

As you packed everything back into your bag you tried to think back to this morning when you left for work in a rush if you’d picked your keys up but as this was something you did everyday, you couldn’t decipher whether it happened this morning or if it was a weird mix of every morning.

So you sat there in the dark, soggy from the rain with no phone and no clue as to what you would do next. Too late to try and what with your upstairs neighbour being away, no way of getting into your house.

A car came round the corner before you saw the lights wash over you, it’s noises engine startling you but they were gone as quickly as they came, carrying on down the street until it pulled in and parked up a few spaces up from your front door.

You contemplated asking for help but we’re unsure as what to say and felt a bit stupid so you didn’t move, keeping you head in your hands and thinking over how long it would take to walk to your parents house who lived two towns over.

You were so lost in your misery you didn’t hear the person get out of their car and walk towards you, or stop just a few feet from you.

‘Y/n?’

Your eyes snapped up to meet the face that the voice came from. Not that you need to look, you’d know that voice anywhere.

Mason Mount.

You’d met Mason four months ago when you first started working at Chelsea. Your main role was just to look after the boys and make sure they were where they needed to be so you’d become close with all of them pretty much straight away.

You’d clicked with Mason from the start, his cheeky sense of humour won you over instantly and you always felt good around him, seeking out his company whenever you could. You obviously found him attractive but tried not to make it too obvious as you knew it was inappropriate and thought he’d probably never feel the same way. It was hard not to fall for him though. In spite of this, you quickly became joined at the hip and when he invited you round to his for a movie night with some of the other boys and some other members of staff, you were quick to say yes.

You ended up sandwiched between Mason and the arm of the sofa and when his hand found yours in the dark your heart gave a squeeze, thanking your lucky starts he couldn’t see the blush covering your cheeks. You carefully rested your head against his shoulder, testing the waters even though he’d already made the first move, and when he placed his head on top of yours and leaned into you further you thought you might burst.

When Mason suggested the next movie night a week later, this time with the promise of dinner beforehand, you jumped at the chance. However when you arrived you appeared to be the first person there and when he led you to his dining table with only two places set, everything seemed to click into place.

‘No one else is coming are they?’ You asked him quietly as he took his seat opposite you.

‘Uh no’ he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous. ‘I kinda just wanted it to be the two of us tonight. Is that alright?’ He asked, finally looking you in the eyes.

All you could do was nod in response and he let out a breath that he looked like he’d been holding for a while at your gesture. Dinner went smoothly and after he’d chucked everything in the dishwasher, he followed you up to his cinema room, where he’d let you pick out a film of your choice. You were just getting yourself comfy for it to start when you felt his arm snake around your shoulders and you felt all the blood in your body rush to your face.

You looked up to find him already looking at you before his whispered ‘is this okay?’ To which you just nodded again cuddling yourself into him further. It was nuts how nervous he made you and also how nervous you seemed to make him, that was until Logan was telling Beth that she should be kissed every day, every hour and every minute that he turned your face towards his by your chin and gently kissed you.

It took a few seconds for you brain to connect with your mouth and start kissing him back, but once you had you wondered why you hadn’t kissed sooner. His lips felt like magic and a tingling feeling erupted all over your body making you press yourself into him more and deepen the kiss. You both pulled away breathless, holding onto each other as if the other might disappear, but as soon as you saw him smile you couldn’t help but smile back.

You both talked all night about how you felt towards each other, Mason confirming he’d had a crush on you from the second he saw you, but both agreeing to keep things under wraps for now. You both kept it professional at work, stealing a cheeky kiss here and there but no one else figured out what was going on between you.

Your feelings only grew for each other and it was hurting you both knowing you couldn’t be open with anyone. But the fear of anyone finding out was much stronger and was only confirmed when a member of your team and one of the physio boys were let go due to their secret relationship being exposed. It had been a month and a half since yours and masons first kiss and whilst you’d gone a lot further than just a kiss now, you were staring to wonder if you were willing to put both your jobs on the line for your feelings. In the end you took it upon yourself to nip the relationship in the bud before it went any further, in your mind saving you both from heartache down the line.

You knew you loved mason, even though you’d never uttered the words to him and it was one of the hardest conversations you’d ever had, but in your mind it seemed like the correct decision. Mason didn’t see it this way, being absolutely furious with you for even suggesting it but when he realised there was no changing your mind, all he could do was agree in hopes that one day you’d realise it was a mistake.

It was hard but you tried to only speak to him if it was necessary, never getting used to that sinking feeling you got when he looked at you with his big sad eyes. Anyone could tell he was heartbroken just by looking at him and soon enough he gave up trying to reason with you all together. You both didn’t speak from then on, keeping out of each others way only giving each other a small smile as you passed each other in the halls.

As much as you thought you were doing the right thing, it seemed as though a tiny bit of your defence was chipping away each time you saw him, so when he suggested to you that he’d like it if you could go back to being friends, you told him no, trying to be as cold as possible and push him away. You knew he would never stop trying with you and you knew it wouldn’t take much for you to break so you avoided him at all costs, meaning him being stood in front of you right now was a bad thing.

A very bad thing.

‘Mason? What are you doing here?’ You questioned, stumbling to your feet thinking it might make you look less pathetic, but the fact you were drenched and shivering did you no favours.

‘I’m just on my way home from Chilly’s house and I thought I saw you. Why are you out here?’

You gulped, hugging yourself as if to protect yourself from him before you spoke. ‘I uh, I can’t find my keys and my phones died so I’m locked out’ you admitted even though you knew it was a bad idea to let him know but you didn’t have enough time to think of a lie.

‘Oh’ he breathed, looking you up and down. You felt hot under his stare and you dropped your head to the floor. ‘Have you been out here long?’

‘No, I stayed late today so I only got back about 15 minutes ago’ you said picking up your bag, making it look like you were about to leave.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I’m gonna walk to my parents house’ you said quietly, walking towards him to step around him, but he blocked your path.

He looked at you with wide eyes before shaking his head. ‘No way, that’s like a two hour walk and it’s late enough already’ you looked up at him in shock that he’d remembered where your parents lived, having only mentioned it once or twice before. ‘Look, why don’t you come back to mine?’

‘No Mason, that’s not a good idea’

‘Why not?’ He questioned, having to block you in as you tried to get round him again. ‘I live way closer, you can at least charge your phone or stay in my guest room tonight and we can figure out what to do in the morning. Come on y/n you’re soaked, just let me take you home. Stop being so stubborn all the time’

‘I’m not being stubborn’ you argued back and he just gave you a look like he didn’t believe you. The thought of being at his was more appealing than traipsing all the way to your parents so with one final huff you looked at him. ‘Fine, I’ll come with you. But I’m not staying.’

He didn’t say anything else, just moved to the side slightly and waited for you to pass by him and walk towards the car so he could follow you. Once you were in and settled, you turned to look at him quickly, guilt already settling in your tummy about how you’d just spoken to him. He was only trying to help you and you’d been rude, but you still weren’t sure what to say to him so you sat in silence the whole way.

Once you pulled up to his house, he ushered you in to his kitchen and you began to peel off you damp hoody when he walked in.

‘I take it you haven’t eaten yet?’ He questioned and you shook your head. ‘Why don’t you go jump in the shower and I’ll make us something. Leave your phone here and I’ll charge it’

You were about to protest but the sound of your tummy grumbling spoke for you and you huffed in defeat.

‘Okay’

‘I’ll leave you some clean clothes outside the bathroom door, if you leave the stuff you’ve got on now outside I’ll get it dry for you’

You blamed the fact it had been a long and stressful day for the reason that you could feel your eyes beginning to water, how could be be so sweet to you after the way youve treated him for the past month? not wanting your voice to betray you, you swiftly left the room and ran up his stairs to shut yourself away in the bathroom.

You left your wet clothes outside the door and only once you were under the hot water did you allow yourself to cry. It was so hard being around him and trying to be strong after a day from hell. All you wanted to to wrap yourself up in him but you knew that could never happen.

You spent a little while longer than you should in there, making use of the fancy toiletries he had out for guests that hadn’t been touched and once you’d rinsed out your hair, you turned the water off and wrapped yourself up in a warm towel.

True to his word, he’d left you some clean clothes of his outside the door, his grey joggers and T-shirt were a bit big for you but you were just happy to be warm and dry, even if the smell of his clothes made the feeling in your tummy even worse. With your hair still wrapped up in a towel, you made your way back downstairs to the kitchen and you spotted the way his eyes lit up as he saw you before giving you a soft smile.

‘Food will be ready in a sec, why don’t you go find us something to watch’ he said softly, nodding his head over to the sofa. You sat yourself down and flicked through the channels before settling on watching re runs of how I met your mother and just as you put the remote down, Mason appeared and handed you a bowl with your favourite pasta dish inside. You sent him an appreciative smile and mumbled a quiet thank you to which he gave you a little nod before sitting down next to you with his own portion, leaving enough room between the two of you so you didn’t feel uncomfortable.

You ate in silence while watching the tv, both laughing at the same parts you found funny and you felt yourself relax around him as time went on. Once he was finished eating he set his bowl on the coffee table and you stacked yours on top before picking them up to take them to the kitchen.

‘Leave those y/n, come back here’ he said, patting the spot you were just in and it felt so much like old times it made your heart hurt. You returned back to the sofa after setting them on the side, back to your spot just next to him and carried on watching tv in silence for another hour or so. You felt him look at you every so often but you kept your eyes straight ahead until you heard him let out a yawn.

‘Listen, it’s late yeah? Just stay here tonight?’

You hadn’t realised how much time had passed since you felt so relaxed being around him, not even thinking about the fact you said you didn’t want to stay here tonight. Be he was right, and you didn’t want to put him out anymore by making him drive you to your parents house.

‘I need to go dry my hair and then i should probably get some sleep’ you told him. And he nodded, standing up and moving into the kitchen to clear the plates, looking away from you so he could hide his smile.

‘The hair dryer is in the usual place’ he said quietly and turned his back on you to put the dishes in the dishwasher.

‘Mason?’ You questioned and he looked back at you with a raised eyebrow, encouraging you to carry on. ‘Thank you’ you told him sincerely, his eyes now downcast as he hadn’t seen this side of you in a while. ‘I mean it, I really appreciate you letting me stay here’

‘You know I’d do anything for you, y/n’ he said quietly, and the intense eye contact he was now giving you made you look away. ‘Have a good sleep, yeah? You know where I am if you need anything’ he spoke again, trying to diffuse the tension now in the room, and you nodded whilst saying a quick goodnight before escaping upstairs.

You took the hair dryer from the bathroom into his guest room and finished off your hair in there, but you could hear the shower running when you were done so you left it on the side before stripping yourself of Masons joggers and getting into bed. You knew this room existed but you’d never slept in here, always staying in masons room and it felt weird knowing you were in his house whilst he was asleep across the hall.

You were so unbelievably tired but sleep just wasn’t coming to you tonight it seemed. All you could think about was Mason across the hall, wondering is he was awake too and overthinking everything just like you were or if he was sound asleep, those cute soft snores you used to love coming from him. Memories of all the nights you spent here with him tangled in bed and lazy mornings spent with each other before making breakfast together wouldn’t leave your brain no matter how hard you tried to think of something else.

You were tossing and turning for half an hour, getting more and more annoyed with yourself and when you felt the first few tears of frustration fall you sat up in a huff, rubbing at your eyes furiously.

You got out of bed and quietly tiptoed over to Masons door, pressing your ear up against it gently to see if you could hear anything, but it was silent. You stood back a step, feeling a bit stupid with yourself for even being out there. What were you expecting? To knock on his door and for him to welcome you in with open arms after the way you’d treated him? Why were you even seeking out his comfort in the first place? You were trying put as much space in between you as possible yet here you were, half dressed and vulnerable outside his bedroom door, the only thing on you mind being his arms around you.

You were just about to turn and head back to your room when his bedroom door opened making your heart thud heavily in your chest.

He clutched his chest and let out a breath, clearly shocked to see you there and his wide eyes held you in your spot. You felt absolutely ridiculous, both stood there half naked and frightened in the dark.

‘Y/n? Are you alright? How long have you been stood there for?’ He asked, taking a tentative step towards you. You tried not to let you eyes dance over all the skin he had on show, being stood in just his boxers, but it was difficult. ‘Y/n?’ He spoke gently again and your eyes snapped up to his.

‘Sorry, I just um…’ you tried to talk but you couldn’t think of anything that sounded good. You started to turn back to his guest room but his hand around your wrist stopped you, tears filling your eyes instantly as his skin touched yours.

‘Hey, come on, talk to me’ his voice was soothing and seemed to be pulling the words from your throat.

‘It’s nothing, I just can’t sleep. I don’t know what I was expecting you to do’ you said with a slight laugh but he could hear the sadness in your voice. Truth be told he couldn’t sleep that well either, the thought of you across the house in another room was playing on his mind so without a thought he pulled your arm and guided you into his room.

‘I was just running to get a drink. Go get comfy and I’ll be back in a sec yeah?’

‘No, Mason it’s fine-‘

‘Just get in’ he said a bit more sternly before letting go and slipping out of his room. You stood there for a few seconds, debating returning to his guest room but the need to be near him outweighed everything else and you found yourself padding over to the unused side of his bed and getting under the covers. You were unsure of what way to lay, settling on your back so you didn’t come across as rude facing away from him. He returned a few moments later, a glass of water for himself and also one for you. Sitting up as he passed it to you it, taking a few big gulps before setting it down on the bedside table before Mason had slotted himself in next to you and you laid back down.

‘Sorry about all this, I bet you’re regretting letting me stay’ you said with a laugh, hoping to make things a bit more normal but he just shook his head.

‘Don’t be silly, I couldn’t really sleep anyway so it’s fine. Just try and relax yeah? You’ll feel a lot better in the morning I promise.’

You nodded and stayed on your back, turning to glance at him quickly before you shut your eyes. You felt better than you had in the other room but twenty minutes later you were still awake with no signs of sleeping soon. You had so much you wanted to say to Mason, your mind reeling as you tried to relax focus on his breathing. You knew he wasn’t fully asleep yet too and you risked looking at him, opening one eye to see him in the same position, a peaceful look on his face.

‘Y/n, I can hear the cogs turning in your head’ you suddenly heard, opening your eyes to find him looking at you in the dark. ‘Talk to me, what’s wrong?’

‘It’s nothing’ you murmured, moving so you could turn to face away from him and he let you go but shuffled up a bit closer to you, smiling when you didn’t try and push him away.

‘It’s obviously something so just tell me, I don’t wanna hear you keep saying it’s nothing’ he breathed from behind you. You went back in forth in your head about telling him what was happening but you knew he wouldn’t drop it, plus the emotion and exhaustion took over you, making you spill your guts in hopes of getting some sleep afterwards.

‘I’m just really sorry’ you murmured, tears already forming in your eyes again. ‘You’ve been so nice to me and I’ve been awful to you’ you sobbed and you felt him come even closer, his chest now pressed against your back as his arm wrapped around you.

‘Hey, wheres all this coming from’ he said with a slight laugh, not that he found you crying amusing, you knew he was just trying to lighten the mood and a little shocked at your outburst. You couldn’t respond, only crying harder and he pulled away from you slightly, laying back and tugging on your waist, encouraging you to roll over. ‘Come here’ he whispered and you allowed yourself to be moved before he bought you into his chest, his arms circling you and your face burring itself in his neck. His lips were right by your ear, gently shushing you as he rubbed soothingly up and down your back ‘come on love, please don’t cry’ he murmured.

As much as he wanted you not to cry, you couldn’t seem to stop. It felt so good being back in his hold, fitting back together like you’d never been apart. And even though he hated seeing you sad, he let you get everything out, and once he could hear your sobs stop and your breathing calm he pulled his head back to look at you, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumb. You still couldn’t look at him, words still swirling around in you head and laying heavy on your chest. You looked up at him, your glazed eyes meeting his sad ones, ready to let him know how you were feeling.

‘I hate this. I hate pretending that I’m not completely in love with you when I know I am’ you spoke quietly. His eyes grew at your confession, suddenly reminding yourself that you had never said those words to each other and your face grew hot but you willed yourself to keep taking, your eyes now averted down to look at his chest. ‘I thought I was trying to protect myself, the both of us, ending things so that I wasn’t in too deep if we had to break things off. What happened at work really scared me and I didn’t want either of us getting in trouble but I’ve felt awful ever since. I’ve tried being distant so you’d hate me and it would make things easier but it’s been really hard’ you offered him a half smile and he gave you a little nod of agreement. ‘I’ve treated you so bad and I’m so so sorry, Mase. I miss you like crazy and you’re right I’ve been so stubborn but it hurt being around you when I couldn’t have you how I wanted. I thought I was doing what’s best for us but I’ve been so unhappy. I’ve put all these bloody walls up to try and keep you out cause I knew as soon as I got near you even for a minute you’d tear them all back down’ you whispered and you felt his hand on your face again, forcing you to look at him, a slight smile on his lips at the use of his nickname. ‘Now look what you’ve done, I’m all exposed again’ you chuckled.

‘You were trying to protect me, you don’t need to apologise for that’ he smiled, his eyes running over your face, now a bit more serious. ‘But im not gonna pretend like it didn’t hurt like hell, it’s not been easy for me seeing you every day and have you be so distant’ he admitted and you tried to look away from him now, finding it all a bit overwhelming, you knew you’d hurt him deep down but hearing him admit it was a whole different thing. His strong grip kept you in place, his face looking much softer now. ‘But I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if it meant I got to have you again, even for a little while’ he reassured you, and you felt your eyes well up before he continued. ‘That’s what you do for the people you love’ he whispered and your eyes snapped up to meet his, a tiny smirk playing on his lips.

‘You mean…’

‘I love you, y/n y/l/n’ he whispered and you couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from you, a few tears escaping as your face scrunched up in joy.

‘Really?’ You laughed and he laughed with you, happy to now see you smiling.

‘I promise’

‘Even after everything?’

‘I never stopped’ he murmured, rolling you over slightly so you were now on your back and he could hover over you. You looked up at him, so thankful to be back in his arms and relieved to find he was so forgiving after everything that had happened

‘I love you, too. Mason Mount’

‘I know’ he winked before leaning down to give you a gentle kiss. ‘God, I’ve missed you’ he spoke against you lips and you smiled before giving him another quick peck.

‘I’ve missed you too’

‘Don’t take this the wrong way but I’m so glad you got locked out tonight’ he murmured against your jaw and you couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh. He bought his face back to yours, smiling so hard his eyes crinkled at the sides before kissing you again, this time a little heavier and you reached up to hold the back of his neck so he wouldn’t break apart from you. You could feel all the broken parts of you mending back together with every press of his lips, and when he dipped his tongue inside your mouth you could help but let out a faint moan.

Mason pulled back a tiny bit, looking down at you with happy eyes and a beaming smile which you couldn’t help but mirror. That was until you felt that familiar rush of worry that he noticed immediately.

‘If there’s anything else you know you can tell me’ he reassured you, his thumb gently gliding back and forth over you cheek.

‘I’m gonna have to get a new job arent I?’ You questioned, your eyes now no longer able to look at him. ‘It sucks cause I love it there and I love getting to see you everyday but if it means I can’t be with you like this then I’ll have to go.’

‘You don’t have to do that y/n’

‘I do Mason, you saw what happened before. And from now on I’ll always put you first, just like you always do for me and if that means leaving Chelsea then so be it’

‘You do know they only reason they were fired was because they got caught in one of the store cupboards?’ He told you, the tiniest smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

‘What?’ You breathed, completely confused by his words.

‘Yeah I found out a few weeks ago, apparently one of the owners caught them with their pants down, quite literally’ he chuckled and you just shook your head whilst trying not to smile. ‘That doesn’t matter though. If we’re just honest about what’s going on and promise to keep thing’s professional then I know they won’t have an issue with it’

‘How can you be so sure?’

His face turned red at this, now looking down away from you as if he was embarrassed.

‘I kind of already spoke to some people about us?’ He said quietly and you covered your face with your hands before letting out a little laugh. ‘Look I’m sorry I know I shouldn’t have but when I found out what happened with them I had to know if there was a chance for us. So I spoke to a few higher ups and explained the situation and they were absolutely fine with it. Said as long as we didn’t let it effect work or do anything inappropriate then it’s allowed’

‘Mason’ you chucked, removing you hands from your face to look at him. ‘Only you would ask permission for us to be together whilst I’m ignoring you’

‘I think you’re missing the point here, we’re free to do what we want. We don’t have to hide anymore and there’s no consequences.’ He told you with a smile and you smiled back, lost for words that you could now be with the man you loved.

‘Why didn’t you say anything before?’

‘I wanted to give you a bit of time I guess and think of some way of winning you back? Thankfully your forgetfulness did all of the hard work for me’ he winked and you playfully slapped his chest. ‘And I know we never put labels or anything on it last time, but I’d really like it if I could call you my girlfriend’

It was your turn to blush now, words failing you so you just nodded before connecting your lips again, hoping that would say everything you couldn’t. You were both looking at each other like youd hung up the moon when you pulled away. He was looking at you so intently, like he was trying to memorise your face and keep it in his brain forever. That was until you let out a yawn and he couldn’t help but laugh, thinking you were the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

‘Come on sleepy chops, it’s nearly midnight and if I don’t sleep soon then I won’t be able move tomorrow’ he laughed, laying down and pulling you you against him, your back to his chest and his lips pressing on your shoulder.

‘Sorry Mase, I’ve been such a pain in the arse tonight’

‘’Just tonight?’ He teased, tickling your waist so you knew he was joking. It didn’t stop you letting out a little whimper of annoyance, but the kiss he left on the back of your neck made you smile. ‘you know I’m only kidding pretty girl’

‘You better be’ you sighed, although you could feel your face getting warm from his compliment. ‘Night Mase’

‘Night gorgeous’ he mumbled and with one final kiss to you shoulder you let yourself relax, all the weight of the last few months leaving your body you finally drifted off in the arms of the man you loved.

You awoke the next morning to an empty bed, feeling around to find Masons warmth but you only felt the cold. You slowly sat up, rubbing your eyes to wake yourself up a bit before getting out of bed, padding out of his room into the hallway. You glanced at the clock was sat on Masons dresser to see it read 09:15 and you cursed under your breath before running down the stairs to try and find the brown eyed boy.

‘Mason! Mason, where the hell are you?!’

‘Hey hey hey’ he shouted as he came around the corner from the kitchen, stopping you in your tracks by placing his hands in your shoulders. ‘What’s going on? Where the fire?’ He joked but you just huffed at him.

‘I was supposed to start work 15 minutes ago Mase, why didn’t you wake me? I’ve still got to sort my flat out and-‘

He cut you off with a kiss and once he pulled away he pressed a finger to you lips so you couldn’t speak and you furrowed your brows at him in response.

‘I’m way ahead of you, I’ve already left a message at reception for your boss to explain what’s happened and that you won’t be coming in so don’t stress’

You were about to reply when someone knocked on Masons front door. He nodded his head into the kitchen tapping your bum lightly to try and get you to move. ‘Go wait in the kitchen, I’ve left you some breakfast and a coffee on the island’ he winked and your heart warmed at his smile so you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before scurrying out of sight.

You sat at the island, the fresh cup of coffee made just how you liked it and next to that, two slices of Nutella on toast. You knew Mason used to keep a jar in for you as he wasn’t really allowed it with his diet, and you could see a fresh jar he’d left open on the side, not having time to put it away as you’d come shouting down the stairs.

You could hear Mason talking to whoever was at the door, but they were both too far away for you to make out any actual words. You managed to finish your toast by the time he was done and when he came back into the room, a cheeky smile was dressed on his face with his hands behind his back. You raised an eyebrow at him over you coffee cup but that only made him smile even more.

‘What are you up to, Mount?’ You asked him as he approached the other side of the island and instead of answering he removed a hand from behind him and placed your key lost keys in front of you. Your eyes snapped up to look at him and he let out a faint chuckle at your expression. ‘What the hell? Where did you get those?’

‘I called in a favour, managed to get a locksmith over to your house early. These were sat in the bowl you keep by the door, you must of forgotten to pick them up yesterday’ he explained, nodding down to them. You let a big sigh, you head falling into your hands as you shook your head with a laugh.

‘I was in such a rush yesterday it must of slipped my mind’ you groaned, looking back up to see the smile on his face, obviously finding the whole thing hilarious. ‘Don’t laugh at me Mase, I feel like such an idiot’ you told him, but you couldn’t help but laugh a little yourself.

‘Oh you poor baby’ he pouted, moving around to your side of the island. You turned on your stool to face him and he slotted between your legs. His free hand coming to your face to tilt it up so he could look at you. He suddenly ran his finger just under your lip and pulled it back to show you the Nutella he’d wiped from you face before he popped his finger in his mouth.

‘Mason’ you scolded, blushing as you wiped your face but he just chucked as he lent down to reach your lips, kissing you gently.

‘Now let’s hope you keep these ones safe’ he murmured pulling the other hand from around his back to show you a new set of keys. ‘There’s a couple of spares on there so maybe hide one or keep them somewhere safe so you’ve always got a backup’

‘Can I keep one here?’ You asked softly and his whole face lit up at your suggestion before he kissed you again.

‘Of course you can’ he whispered against you lips. ‘In fact…’ he started, moving over to a drawer on the other side of the kitchen, rummaging through it until he found what he needed before making his way back over towards you. ‘Summer made me this at nursery’ he blushed, holding up a keychain in the shape of a little house made with plastic beads you iron to make them stick together. You watched as he slipped one of the keys into the loop before walking just behind you and popping it onto the spare hook on his rack that kept all his other keys. He turned back to you and smiled proudly before grabbing your face and kissing you again.

‘Thank you, Mase’ you told him sincerely as you pulled away. Your hands moved from his chest you hold his face as he tried to look away from you but you wanted him to know how grateful you were for all he’d done for you. ‘I mean it, I really don’t know what I would have done without you last night. I don’t know how I’ve kept away from you for so long but I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again’

‘I told you yesterday, I’d do anything for you. That includes saving you from your doorstep when you’re all soggy’ he murmured with a smile, his nose bumping yours making you chuckle. ‘But it also includes giving you space when you need it and waiting until you’re ready to come back to me’

You took in a deep breath, eyes filling at his words. You moved your hands from around his face to around his shoulders, your thumbs gently stroking up and down his neck as he looked at you like you were the most important thing in the world. You hoped your face mirrored his expression.

‘You knew I would come back?’ You whispered and he shrugged his shoulders.

‘I didn’t know 100% but I always hoped you would. And I would have waited a whole lot longer for you if that’s what it took.’

‘I would never expect you to do that for me Mase, not after how I treated you’

‘I wanted to’ he smiled ‘I love you’

‘I love you, too’ you whispered, still getting used to hearing those words come out of his mouth, and by the look on his face, he was too.

‘Now, I don’t have training until three, so how about we make up for some lost time before I take you home?’ He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at you as he lowered his hands to your waist, dipping them under his shirt you were wearing. ‘I’ve had to watch you walk around in my stuff for far too long without doing something about it’

‘Sounds like a good idea to me’ you told him your hands now around his shoulders so he could lift you up by your thighs and carry you up the stairs.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed :) I’d love to know what you thought so please feel free to comment or drop me an ask, I’d really appreciate it 🩷

#mason mount #mason mount blurb #mason mount imagine #mason mount fluff #mason mount fanfic #mason mount fan fiction #mason mount concept #mason mount story #mason mount angst #mason mount smut #mason mount x reader #mason mount x y/n #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #footballer imagine #footballer imagines #footballer fan fiction

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sabcandoit · 11 months

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HI!!! I don’t usually do this but could I request a spider noir fic where fem reader goes out to dinner with him and then forces him to dance (maybe waltz or tango?) with the reader, if you don’t want to do it I completely understand!!! ❤️💙

Just wanted to say I absolutely L.O.V.E.D your other noir fic it literally had me blushing it was AMAZING!!!!

(Sorry if if the English is bad) :]

Thank you for the request and the compliments! I had a hard time narrating a waltz of tango, so I hope swing and jazz are sufficient. Here it is!

Let's Dance!

Spider-Man Noir x fem reader

Summary: "Reader goes out to dinner with him and then forces him to dance". Peter is awkward and acts like he can't around others, but soon warms up.

Warnings: straight-up fluff. Thats it!

A/N: Thank you all for all of the requests! They are still open! I really want to make a part 2 to Desire, so that might be next. This one is pretty short, but enjoy!

It was your average dinner date with Peter, finally together after a long few weeks of work. There was a nearby bar club where they served great food and exceptional drinks. The last time, you were there with a few friends. It was a pleasant night filled with watching talented couples dance and hearing all sorts of lively jazz music from the band.

You both stepped out of the car, Peter wearing a dressier-than-usual suit and yellow tie to match your nicely fitted yellow tea-length dress. It had short sleeves and a creme color shawl covered your shoulders. You also had creme-colored short gloves and heels on. Maybe a bit formal for a bar dinner, but you had a plan to make this man dance.

Both of you enjoyed dancing in your living room while listening to your favorite records, and you were not too horrible at it either. Peter was quite the lead. Of course, watching those couples dance the other night made you swoon, thinking about how you two would look. He was completely unaware of this, you knew how he would react if so. He would deny his dancing abilities and shoo you off in hopes that you wouldn't ask again. He knew you two were great at it but he was self-conscious.

As the waiter sat you both down at a small table and handed you the menus, you took off your gloves and put them beside your purse, watching as he smiled at you. “What are you thinking of getting, doll face?” he asked before looking down at his options.

“Oh, I don't know yet.” you paused, sighing lightly. As you both talked about what meals look best the waiter took your orders and the night progressed.

“Peter, How could you?” you laughed heartily as he finished telling you a hilariously embarrassing story. “It wasn't my fault! It was definitely an accident.” he chuckled. As you continued eating, you looked over at the dancers again, them perfectly swinging and swaying. Now was your chance.

“Hmmm,” you hummed mysteriously. “We should join them,” you suggested, whipping back to face him with a playful smile. He was fast to shoot the idea down, “Now, you're full of great ideas but this is not one.” he joked, shaking his head. “Oh, Peter, please?” you begged with a puppy-like pout.

“No.” he laughed breathlessly, basically scoffing. You started to stand up, shrugging off your shawl and scooting over to his chair. “Come on…” you grinned, reaching out and gently pulling on his stubborn arm. “Sweetheart, I can't.” he tried to pull back uncooperatively, but you didn't let him, pulling harder and raising him up in the process. “Oh yes, you can mister. I know from first-hand experience.” you giggled. He followed you stiffly with a frown as you dragged him onto the floor. You looked down, taking one hand in his and the other on his shoulder as he placed his on your waist. You then looked up at him with raised eyebrows and a sweet smile. As the music started up again, a trumpet billowed out a catchy lick as the people around you started swaying. You could see that he was clearly uncomfortable, so you whispered quietly, “You’re doing great!”. He smiled through gritted teeth as he focused on your feet, trying not to stomp on them. You just continued encouraging him throughout the first dance, the music playing a soft jazz number. As the song faded everyone stopped to clap before getting back in place. This time a much more energetic tune started, Peter finally warming up. He took his hand in yours again, swinging to the rhythm and happily laughing. He then pushed you out, as you twirled and came back in as he dipped you, holding on tight. “Keep it up doll,” he mumbled to you.

After the last dance, you both let go and started walking back towards the table. As you sat down you were both out of breath and sighing with big smiles. “Oh, that was fun,” you exhaled. “You were amazing, young lady. Much better than I expected,” he chuckled sarcastically. You swatted at him lightheartedly as you both walked out of the club content.

“We should do this more often,” you suggested, holding onto his arm and looking up at him. He blushed lightly, gazing into your beautiful eyes. He didn't want to say yes, but he knew he was defeated. “Yes ma’am.” he gave in, looking back up and patting your arm affectionately.

#spiderman noir #spidernoir #atsv x reader #fluff #itsv #atsv #pet names #spider man noir x reader #spidernoir x reader #Peter Benjamin Parker #requests #requests open #fanfic #tumblr #into the spiderverse #itsv x reader

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blossomwritesthings · 7 months

Text

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

pairing: minho x felix (minlix)

genre: nonidol!minho/nonidol!felix. minlix are professional dancers. childhood bfs to lovers au. confession au. post-breakup blues. angst!! fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. felix pov.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. thematic elements. there's angst in here (felix's in an abusive relationship, a scary incident happens between him and his ex). mentions of physical assault/violence is detailed. sexual assault is also alluded to. minho is really soft for him in this and takes care of felix a lot because... he's his baby. smut warnings below cut!!

word count: 9.6k

summary: felix thought he'd always be with his long-term boyfriend jicheul, until one drunken night ruins everything they'd built up together. and the only person he can turn to in his time of crisis is his childhood best friend, minho.

18+ warnings: dom!felix x sub!minho (but also they're both switches). minho finally gets to be the bottom in this one. unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, friends). anal sex/fingering. jerking off happens. one hot blowjob. slight degradation (but not too much this time). pet names (baby boy, darling, kitten, etc). dirty thoughts/fantasies. LOTS of hair pulling & lube. slight breeding kink (🙄). dacryphilia. somewhat dumbification. overstimulation. nipple play. lots of dirty talk. subspace. loud sex.

a/n: first of all, this is dedicated to my lovely friend @cb97breathing... I love you sm and I hope this brightens up your day if only by just a tiny bit, honey!! 🤎 I felt like writing something angsty, so my original idea turned out to be a minlix piece. honestly, this one was a little hard to write since it brought up bad memories of my past abuse, but I like how it turned out so that's a win haha! enjoy, you guys!! ✨

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). do not copy, spin-off, or write inspired work based off of this fanfic without full permission to do so. ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

Lee Felix never intended for things to get this far.

He never meant to let everything escalate to this extent.

After having met Jicheul during his freshman year in university, he was all starry-eyed with love for the man. And for a while, everything was amazing. It felt like he was living in a dream - floating above the clouds thanks to his love.

But then the change started ever so subtly.

During their first anniversary, Jicheul had spent the night before drinking and partying with his friends at a nearby club. And when he came back home to their shared apartment that morning, he was drunk out of his mind.

When Felix tried to get him sober by making him some hangover stew and brewing him some green tee - Jicheul blew up at him. Cursing him out, smashing a nearby plate onto the kitchen's tiled floor. Then he was storming out of the apartment before Felix could even register what was going on.

On their first anniversary, they didn't celebrate it together. For one thing, because Felix didn't see his boyfriend for the entire until late that night. And secondly, because he couldn't pick himself up from his bed - buried deep under the covers, sobbing for hours on end because his boyfriend had practically abandoned him on such a special day.

That day, he cried so much that he physically ached by the time Jicheul returned home. His chest hurt so fucking much, and his eyes were puffy from all of the tears. But then Jicheul apologized to him, giving him a bouquet of red roses, and all was well in the world.

Although, Felix never told anyone else about his boyfriend's outburst. None of his family or friends knew about the broken dishes and spewed curses, and that's how he wanted things to stay.

But ever so slightly, over his sophomore year, Felix realized that he was pushing away his friends and family. He didn't see them quite as often anymore, and when he did, his mind was occupied with thoughts of his boyfriend - what he was doing right then and who he was with.

Felix watched on the sidelines of his life, as Jicheul gradually pulled him away from his entire support system. Like an infection that lazily spread throughout his body, his boyfriend took up everything - his thoughts, his habits, his entire life.

He chose to ignore the snide comments from his boyfriend - when he'd wear certain outfits or when he'd hang out with certain friends around the university. That's just his way of showing he cares about me, Felix always thought whenever Jicheul would degrade him for something.

And before Felix knew it, they were both graduating and celebrating their fourth anniversary together. But once again, just like their first and third one, Jicheul was nowhere to be found. All day, he was out of the house - and with each second that he was gone, Felix's heart broke just a little bit more.

When he finally arrived home to a sad-faced Felix, Jicheul rolled his eyes exasperatingly. "Oh fuck- I forgot, didn't I?" He said, voice all gruff from a long day at work. He had just started his new job at a local architect firm and they were working him to the bone with overtime.

Felix couldn't even find it in himself to say anything, instead swallowing around the dry lump forming in his throat. After that, Jicheul came over to him on the living room couch and sat down slowly.

"Let me make it up to you, hun," Jicheul started, leaning down to capture his lips up into a passionate kiss. "Let me fuck you nice and good for our special day, okay?"

And Felix didn't even say anything after that, instead choosing to let him take the lead. Before he knew it, Jicheul had them completely bare and was fucking him atop the living room couch, hands gripping tightly into his hips as his cock stretched him open.

"Feels good?" Jicheul asked, tucking a few strands of Felix's whispy blonde hair behind his ear. He thrust up into him a little more, the squelching sounds of lube and cum mixing around the apartment.

"Yeah, feels nice."

But Felix was lying.

It didn't feel nice, not at all.

It felt super fucking painful.

He wasn't in the mood and he couldn't even bring himself to cum at the end. So instead, he faked it, like he had done many times with Jicheul before. Felix was too depressed to feel anything blissful at that moment - head swimming with too many thoughts about them and their uncertain relationship.

For one thing, Jicheul fucked him way too hard. Although Felix liked it rough sometimes, he also liked things to be soft and gradual. Jicheul was like a bull, charging right out of the gate as soon as they had their clothes off. And initially, that had been something really hot to Felix. But after four years of the same raw power, the blonde male was pretty fucking sick of it all.

It wasn't until some months later after Felix had landed a job teaching dance at a local studio, that everything fell apart. The day had been long and some of his students hadn't listened to his teachings, which made things even worse for him.

As he stepped through the door to their apartment, he noticed how all of the lights were off. He froze in the kitchen when he saw a shadowy form sitting on the living room couch.

Running a hand through his hair, Felix sighed heavily. "Ji? Is that you?" He asked out into the gloam, too tired to even flip on a light.

"Where were you?" He could hear his boyfriend's voice extend out across the apartment, serious and monotone.

It was only then that Felix noticed the bottles of soju strewn across the kitchen's granite countertop. Oh fuck- not again. They had never really talked about Jicheul's drinking habit, it was just the elephant in the room that was always there.

And when he drank, he got violent.

"Uhm- I have work at night, remember? I was at the studio." Felix said, beginning to clear the countertop of the bottles and throwing them into the recycling bin. "I thought you knew."

"No, I didn't fucking know!" Jicheul exploded, and before Felix could even register the movement in the shadows, his boyfriend was right in front of him in the kitchen, all looming height and broad shoulders. "Are you fucking cheating on me?"

Felix stared up at him with wide eyes, the moonlight bleeding in from the nearby window, casting darkness across Jicheul's scowling face. "W-What? No, of course not! Why would you even-"

"I saw you with him..." Jicheul started, voice low as death. Felix looked down to see his hands balled into tight fists at his side, and he could smell the alcohol on his breath. He reeked of it. "With that- loser."

Felix frowned at that, the insult burning deep inside his veins and causing the anger to rise in his heart. "He's not a loser, Ji. he's my best friend."

"Best friends don't hold each other's waists and lean in to whisper shit to each other."

"Well maybe if you had a friend, you'd know when to tell the difference between romantic touch and platonic touch."

Felix didn't know why he had said it. It just... slipped out. The words fell from his mouth before he could even comprehend what he was insinuating.

And the next thing he knew, Jicheul was glaring down at him with that same devilish expression he sometimes got when he was especially angry after a drink. "Oh- you worthless piece of shit." He roared out, and before Felix could even react, he was moving again.

His head twisted towards the right, left cheek burning from the impact. Squaring his shoulders, Felix stared back at Jicheul. At that moment- there was nothing there. Felix felt utter emptiness, a shell of the person he had once been.

"I should teach you a lesson, huh?" Jicheul continued, hitting his cheek again with his fisted knuckle. "Teach you how to be my good little bitch."

He was wrestling Felix onto the kitchen floor in the next breath, legs coming around Felix's hips as he reached out to his face again and again. The blows were loud inside Felix's ears, his vision bursting to life every time Jicheul took a hit.

He could feel his face growing puffy, his heart beating wildly in his chest as the pain began to spread across his body. He desperately tried and failed to pry Jicheul off of his form - but the older male was too tall and strong to fend off.

And when Jicheul fit his two meaty hands around Felix's neck, everything came to a standstill. The gloam of the apartment bent and twisted around them, as he squeezed just a little harder.

"Fucking useless cunt- think you can cheat on me with that fucker from your childhood." Jicheul was spitting out, breathing down on Felix's face as his fingers dug into his windpipes.

Desperately, Felix grabbed at his wrists, trying to pull Jicheul off of him. "P-Please, I-" He gasped out for dear life, the tears streaming down his face, running across his cheeks and into his hairline.

"Yeah, that's right... Beg for it, you bitch. Beg for my mercy." His voice was venomous and seething, but already growing faint in Felix's ears.

He was losing air, and fast. If he didn't do something drastic, he'd die at the hands of Jicheul. "Please, Ji- I'm sorry, please- I won't see him again, ever. I promise, j-just please!" He sobbed out in a scream, the sound of it echoing around the apartment walls in a resonant, horrifying kind of way.

Jicheul peered down at him with a deep sneer, white teeth glinting in the darkness as the foul scent of soju danced around them. "I could kill you right now- kill you for your worthlessness." He began, nails clawing at the column of Felix's neck and drawing blood as the younger scrambled to get free. He felt lightheaded, eyes rolling into the back of his skull from the agony of it all. "But I won't... because I wanna teach you a lesson," then, almost as quickly as it had started, he was letting go of Felix. "That if you ever go behind my back again- I will end you."

Felix gasped out, taking in shallow breaths as his lungs filled up with precious air again. Jicheul said nothing more after that, leaving him a pile of messy, bloody flesh and limbs on the kitchen floor there. And before he knew it, Felix could hear the resounding slam of the front door.

Just like that, it was all over.

For a few heart-pounding minutes, Felix lay there. The cool tile underneath him soothed his inflamed skin. His fingers hurt from the clawing he had been doing at Jicheul, and everything else was in burning agony - his face and neck.

But especially, his heart.

Finally, coming to terms with what he had to do, the blonde male rose from the floor on shaky legs. He wobbled over to their shared bedroom, ignoring the bed they had fucked on top of for so many years and stumbling over to the closet. He ignored the burning in his heart and the searing pain radiating across his face. In a matter of minutes, he had a duffle bag packed - stuffed to the brim with clothes and a few toiletries.

Then he was hobbling over to the front door, slipping on his sneakers and fitting a severely oversized black hoodie over himself. You know, to cover up the abuse. He flitted out of the apartment in less than ten minutes, frantically looking around to make sure the coast was clear.

He had no plan for the road ahead, but he did know who he could go to for help with figuring it all out.

Lee Minho.

His best friend since childhood and the single most person Jicheul had continually thought Felix was cheating on him with. The accusations had been brewing for years, things Jicheul would throw Felix's way whenever he was extremely angry with work or drunk out of his mind.

The hour to Minho's place was grueling, as Felix moved rather slowly through the subway station. But when he finally made it to Minho's apartment in the heart of Seoul, Felix took in a relieved breath. He didn't even know if he would be up - since it was so late at night. But seeing as he was also a professional dancer himself, Felix assumed Minho would've just gotten back from the studio. After all, he had been working on perfecting this one new choreo of his for the past two months.

He rang the doorbell and knocked three times. For a few moments, nothing happened. The silence stretched on around him and the dread took over his entire system.

Maybe he wasn't home, maybe he was out having dinner with some friends, maybe he was still at the-

But then the large door in front of him was swinging open, and a wave of Minho's scent washed over Felix - of sharp, woodsy cologne and deep roasted coffee beans.

"Lix? What are you-" He began, voice a little incredulous with surprise.

Felix wasn't looking at him, he had his face pointed down to the ground, studying his shoes. The shame washed over him then, dragging down his shoulders and making his heart face. "D-Don't be mad at me... please."

"Yongbok-ah..." Minho said in a quiet voice, using Felix's Korean name that his parents had given to him. Although he went by Felix, Minho was the only one who called him Yongbok on rare occasions.

He found the courage inside himself to raise his head from its bent position, and the moment he met Minho's eyes, he knew he was a goner.

Immediately, his best friend was gasping out loud sharply, fitting a hand over his mouth in utter shock as his eyes roved down the length of Felix's face and neck. He could only assume what he looked like just then - battered, bloody, and bruised.

"I-I'm sorry, I-" Felix was already crying out, the sobs wracking through his entire body and making his heart beat out of his chest.

But Minho said nothing more, and instead just pulled him through the doorway, closing and locking it behind him before he enveloped Felix in the tightest, warmest hug the younger had ever felt.

"Yongbok..." Minho started in a quiet voice, hand running through the younger's blonde tresses as he cried harder at the name. "Yongbok-ah, what... what happened?"

Felix just buried his face a little more in Minho's chest, clutching at his shirt for dear life as his tears blurred his vision. "D-Don't wanna talk about it..." He mumbled between his wails, legs growing weak from all of the mental exhaustion he had been dealing with for the past few hours.

"Baby boy..." Minho said in a faint voice, the sound of the sweet pet name ghosting over the younger's ears and causing his mind to grow a little light-headed again. "Can you let me help you? Let me make it all better, hmm?"

And how could Felix ever say no to that? Say no to his best friend that was trying - wanting to help him so fucking much, when no one else would? When his boyfriend had destroyed him so much.

"Y-Yeah... yes please." Felix leaned away from his chest, peering up at Minho. The edges of his vision were cloudy, but he could still make out the way Minho stared down at him tenderly. And when he reached out to gently tuck a strand of Felix's hair behind his ear, the younger let him. He didn't flinch away, instead leaning into the touch.

"Wanna pick you up... can I do that, sweetheart?" Minho asked. He always wanted to know what Felix wanted - he never did anything that made the younger feel uncomfortable.

Felix found himself nodding in the next moment, and then Minho was picking him up from the ground bridal style, holding him close to his body and carrying him over to the bedroom where he sat him down atop the downy mattress before gathering up the first-aid kit.

The silence fell between them after that, as Minho diligently worked to clean Felix's face up. He swiped rubbing alcohol against the cuts, applying a healing cream to the small ones on his neck before wrapping everything up in bandages.

"It was...Jicheul," Felix began, while Minho tried to fix him up as best as he could. In the past, Felix had come to his best friend after incidents with Jicheul had happened - after they had gotten into a fight or Jicheul had broken something in the house out of anger. But nothing had been as bad as the present moment. "I came home from work and he had been drinking and he was fuming- spouting all this bullshit that I was cheating on him and then, the next thing I knew, we were on the ground and he was on top of me and-"

He didn't realize he was starting to cry again until Minho placed a delicate hand atop his shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly. "Kitten... you don't have to say anything more if you don't want to."

Minho fit the first-aid supplies back into its container and sat back on his heels, taking Felix's hands into his and rubbing his thumbs across his knuckles slowly. "You know... I knew something like this would happen one day," he started to say, staring down at the way their hands were interlaced perfectly together. "After all the times you told me about his outbursts- it was only a matter of time before he turned everything onto you."

"I know... I know, I should've listened to you and everyone else... all the warning signs and the things you guys told me. And left his sorry ass, but I didn't."

Minho squeezed his hands a little bit then, forcing Felix to look up into his eyes and the way they held a delicate, sincere kind of light to them. "Honey... you were blindsided by the abuse. It's alright- I understand how such a thing can diminish your mind to a small thing."

"I know you're mad at me." Felix stared down at his lap and the way that their hands entwined together so flawlessly.

"Don't say that, Yongbok-ah," Minho said in a stern tone, just as he lifted Felix's hands to his mouth, offering his knuckles a gentle kiss. "I could never be angry at you. This isn't your fault- it never was. You were just the unfortunate person to get caught in the crossfire of... him."

Felix looked at him then. Like, really looked at his best friend. He saw so many emotions there on the elder's face - compassion, love, tenderness, and hidden beneath it all... rage.

"I just... wanted to make you happy, you know?" Felix whispered, voice cracking at the end of his words with all the feelings he had right then. "I wanted to make you proud. That's all I've ever wanted to do-"

"And you have, Yongbok-ah... you always do. Nothing you say or do could make me love you any less."

"Yeah, but it sure feels like I've let you down."

"It doesn't fucking matter how I feel, okay? You just escaped a psychopathic boyfriend, you are the main priority right now." Minho said in a grave voice, shaking his head slowly as he said the words. "Honestly, I should kill him with my bare hands for what he did to you- what he's been doing for the past five years."

Felix gaped up at him, eyes growing wide with concern. "N-No, please... don't. I can't lose you too. If you get locked away, I think I'll fucking die."

Minho leaned into him then, pressing their foreheads together gently. He chuckled softly, the warmth of it spreading across Felix's body and causing his heart to beat a little faster. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything drastic. I just... I'm really fucking angry right now, that's all."

"At me?" Felix asked, suddenly filled with so much concern again.

Minho leaned away just a tiny bit from him then, so close, that Felix could feel his warm breath fanning against his face. "No, never at you, Lixie." Then he was reaching out, brushing a gentle thumb across his tear-streaked cheek. "Who could ever be angry at such an adorable face?"

Everything grew quiet then, as their breaths mixed. For a moment, Felix thought his best friend would do something more - tip into him a little bit and kiss him. But instead, Minho just stared... into his eyes and around his face.

"Jicheul thought I was cheating on him with you."

Felix didn't know why he said it, the sentence just slipped out before he could reign his thoughts back in. Minho lifted a perfectly manicured dark eyebrow at him, chestnut-brown eyes glinting with a little bit of mischief.

"Well, isn't that comical..." His voice lilted off into the distance, as Felix caught his eyes lock onto his lips for just a second before they were rising again to meet his gaze. "But enough about that asshole- let's get you into bed."

Felix found himself agreeing with the older male, allowing Minho to help him underneath the thick duvet covers. He snuggled under the blankets, burrowing his face against the velvety pillow. But Felix opened his eyes again when he realized that Minho wasn't getting in next to him.

"Aren't you going to sleep too?" He asked, peering up at him with imploring, big eyes.

Minho stared down at Felix with a faint smile adorning his face. He tilted into his tucked-in form, brushing a few fingers through his blonde locks. "In a little bit... I have something to do first."

Felix nodded slowly, closing his eyes again at the absence of Minho's touch. "Okay, just... don't be too long, hmm?" He didn't want to admit it right then, but the thought of being left alone in such a dark room in such a large bed made his heart leap a little bit with anxiety.

"Wouldn't dream of it, baby boy."

Felix hid the smile that bloomed across his face at the nickname underneath the covers, and distinctly heard the click of the bedroom door shut as Minho left him to sleep.

As he was falling into dreamland, Felix could distantly hear Minho's soft voice through the apartment's thin walls.

"Yes, hi. My name is Lee Minho," he said in a hushed whisper. He waited a few beats and then continued. "I'd like to file a domestic violence report for my... friend..."

The next three weeks passed in a blur of Felix staying quiet and Minho allowing him time to heal. Felix didn't leave his side, and he was practically glued to his best friend's hip from the moment he woke up in the morning to the moment he came home from work at the dance studio.

It was two mornings after the incident, when Felix was practically clinging on for dear life to Minho's side that the elder looked down at him with a softness in his eyes. "I hate to leave you here like this..." They had spent the past weekend together, chilling out at his apartment, eating yummy food, and distracting Felix from all of the issues.

Shaking his head, Felix offered him a tiny, unconvincing smile. "It's fine... I'll be fine." But already, he could feel the prick of tears clouding the corners of his eyes."

"My poor, poor baby doll," Minho cooed softly, brushing a thumb underneath one of his eyes gently as he gave Felix's arm a light squeeze. "I won't be gone too long, yeah? Lunch is all ready and waiting for you in the fridge and there's plenty of shows to catch up on while I'm away."

"Okay..." Felix nodded, sniffling back the tears as he burrowed his face into Minho's thick jacket. "Just... come home right away, mhm?"

Minho was brushing some of his blonde locks behind his ear then, prodding him to look up and catch his stare once more. "Of course, doll face... you know I'll always come back for you."

And just like that, they had fallen into a rhythm together. Felix had decided to take a few weeks off from work - since he very well couldn't show up as bruised and beaten as he was. The worst part about it all, though, besides the wounds that Minho would help clean out every single night, was the mental effects of it all.

The late nightmares would keep him up until the wee hours of the morning. The loss of an appetite, the boredom and cloudy mind, racing heart, and the fear of being alone. And only after three days of sleeping out on Minho's living room couch - since he needed to put a boundary down somewhere - he found himself cuddled up next to the elder man, curled around his body as a wave of nightmare-fueled fear overtook his entire system.

Each time, Minho would lull him back to sleep. With gentle touches and satiny words and rocking to-and-fro. Like magic, Minho knew exactly what he needed, whenever he needed it.

But Felix could almost feel in the back of his mind - feel the knowing pulling deep within him - that he was beginning to overstay his welcome. After three whole weeks of being so cooped up in Minho's apartment both for safety reasons and for his sanity, Felix needed to get out. Needed to do something, look at something different, besides the four white walls of his best friend's place.

So that's how he found himself sitting in a corner booth at a local cafe near Minho's apartment. He had been there for hours already, sipping the day away with two whole cups of a pumpkin-spiced latte. He had brought a book to keep his mind busy, but instead of reading a single word, he just stared out the window.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten his phone back at Minho's apartment, so he had no way to check the time. But by the look of things outside the nearby cafe's window - he could take a pretty good guess as to the time of day. The sun began to set over the horizon, painting the sky in brilliant shades of dusty rose and golden topaz. Minho would be coming home soon from work since he usually finished up around six thirty on most nights. Living with him, Felix was quickly beginning to learn - memorize - his best friend's schedule.

Just when Felix was about to stand up from his comfy spot in the cafe, he spotted a couple walking by, bundled up against the frigid October wind, holding onto each other's hands as they walked with wide smiles adorning their faces. The sight of it all caused Felix's heart to shift and squeeze inside his chest, and he found himself sitting back in his chair, taking in the sight of them... not having a care in the world, oblivious to the pain that could happen in the future. The rift that might ultimately split them apart.

Seeing the couple reminded Felix of Jicheul... of the way they used to be when they first started dating back during their university days. They were so fucking in love with each other and head over heels. And within only a few months of dating, they were moving in with one another... that's how much they always wanted to be together.

But then, somewhere along the way, things had irrevocably shattered. Jicehul's drinking problem got worse and he got angry more easily and everything just... started to turn to shit.

Felix could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks in silent rivulets as he sat there, staring off into the distance, eyes trained on the waning daylight and how the moon slowly began to rise high in the sky. He sat there, oblivious to how late it was growing, wallowing in his sorrow.

It felt like his heart was about to shatter all over again, cracking open and turning raw and bloody... just like it had some weeks ago. Everything hurt - his body and his mind and his heart and... he just wanted to forget about it all and move on.

But apparently, he couldn't.

Nothing could help, not the movies, the food, or the board games. Not the moments he'd spend with Minho late at night at his apartment.

No one could help him.

He was all alone and-

His frantic, dark thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a finger tapping on his shoulder. He turned to the side to catch a glimpse of one of the cafe's employees looking down at him with a concerned face. "Uhm- sir... I'm about to close up the store- it's almost eleven."

Felix shot up from his seat with wide eyes, running an embarrassed hand through his hair and chuckling softly. "Oh, my bad- I didn't realize how late it had gotten... have a good night." Then he was flitting out of the cafe's front doors before the young girl who had served him his drinks a lot earlier in the day could see his state of mind. Could see the tears trailing across his freckled cheeks.

He held his book close to his chest the entire time he made the short trek back to Minho's apartment, heart clenching painfully in his chest.

He was so tired.

So fucking exhuasted.

He just wanted to lie down, go to sleep, and never wake up.

And then he made it to Minho's front door, keyed in the code, and locked the thing behind him as he stepped in. The palace was completely dark - void of any kind of light.

Immediately, he was brought back to that night- when he had come home from a long day at work to find Jicheul sitting in the living room, all alone...

"Where have you been?"

Minho's dry voice rang out across the apartment, and Felix shook in a wave of deja vu as he stared across the kitchen towards the doorframe of Minho's bedroom, where the elder was standing rigidly.

"Minho-hyung, I-"

"Do you have any fucking idea how worried I've been?" The elder began, voice low as death and gravelly at the edges. The sounds of it made Felix's shoulders tremble as he placed his book down on the nearby kitchen counter. "Do you have any idea how many fucking times I called you, trying to reach you?"

"I left my phone here- I'm sorry, I forgot."

Minho let out a dry, humorless chuckle. The sound of it made Felix's heart leap in his stomach, the lump forming in his throat. "Why the fuck would you leave it here when you know how I get?"

Feeling all of the anger and strife and sadness from the past few weeks build up inside of him, Felix burst out, "I'm sorry- okay?! I'm sorry I didn't take my phone with me and I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was at that local cafe just down the road!"

But Minho was right, Felix knew how he got. The younger male had already done something similar a week before, slipping out of the apartment and visiting a nearby 7-Eleven to pick up some breakfast early in the morning. Minho had called him frantically thirty minutes later, while Felix was checking out, wondering where he was.

The tears were springing free from Felix's eyes soon after his explosion, and he reached out towards the kitchen's cool marble countertop to grip onto the coolness for dear life. "I'm sorry- it's all my fault, I shouldn't have- shouldn't have done it," he shouted out, voice cracking in pain in tandem with his weak heart. "I'm so fucking stupid... I know that- you don't have to tell me- no one has to tell me because I already know."

With his eyes closed, he failed to see the shadows in the room moving, failed to notice that Minho was nearing him with quick, quiet steps.

"I'm sorry..." Minho started, his voice so close to Felix that he tore his eyes open to notice how near the red-haired male was to him. "Lix... I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean to get angry, I just... I got so fucking worried when I came home and you weren't here and then it got later and you weren't answering your phone..."

Felix scrubbed at his eyes, trying to wipe the tears away. But they wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop his heart from shattering or his legs from quaking. "Everything slipped my mind. I needed to get out of this place and I guess I forgot to bring my phone, I'm sorry." His head drooped down, his focus landing on the dark tiled floor at his feet.

"Yongbok-ah... look at me, please." The distress in Minho's voice was palpable, but still, Felix couldn't heed his words. Then Minho was fitting a few fingers under his chin, gently tilting his head up so that their gazes locked. There, Felix found an ocean of feelings - agony, anger, but most importantly... adoration. He swallowed at the sight of it all, eyes puffy and face still sore. "I just... I would fucking kill myself if anything happened to you. I just want you to be safe and okay forever, you know? I love you so much, and if anyone- especially that fucker, ever laid their hands on you I'd-"

"You saying all of that won't help," Felix cut him off, shaking his head slowly in defeat. The tears had finally stopped and now he was just left as a shell of the man that he had once been - mind empty and heart beating lowly in his chest. "Nothing helps. Nothing will help. It's over. I'm... I'm done."

Then he was dragging out of Minho's grip in the next beat, and Minho didn't stop him. Because that's the kind of best friend he was - he wasn't going to force Felix to do anything he didn't want to, no matter what it was. Felix made for the nearby bedroom, face blank as he heard Minho trail in behind him.

"Don't say that Yongbok-ah... you know things will get better." The elder male was saying in a low tone.

But Felix just wanted to forget it all, forget all of the pain and heartache, and move on from it. But he couldn't, because that shit was here to stay.

"You've done enough for me, Hyung. I'm sick of taking, taking, taking from you and not giving anything back."

"You being here is enough of a payback - you being my friend is enough."

"No, it's not, and you know it."

"How do you know what's enough for me and what's not?"

Felix was turning around on his heels then, throwing his hands up frantically in the air. "Because I just do, okay?! I know that you're sick of me and that I can never repay you, and- and that I've overstayed my welcome." His voice cracked at the end of his words, but he refused to cry again. Refused to do anything more but stand there, near the bed, as Minho faced him just a few paces away.

"You don't know me, Felix."

"Yes, I do."

Minho was nearing him after that, face softening exponentially and lips pressing into a firm line as he folded his arms across his chest. "Then I guess you also know that I've been in love with you since fucking high school."

After that, everything stopped.

The air flowing through Felix's lungs stopped,

His heart stopped,

Hell, even his brain stopped.

All of him, every single fiber of his being, honed down to a single point. He could only focus on the red-haired man before him, his best friend since he was a little boy, and the words that he had just spoken into existence.

The confession he had just blurted out.

"Minho- what..." Felix began, but Minho was nearing him already, taking ahold of his hands and squeezing them slowly.

"It's okay, Yongbok-ah, I understand that this isn't the right time and you don't feel the same about me. But I just wanted you to know that I-"

But Felix didn't give him any more time to speak after that.

Instead, he just took ahold of Minho's face, hands fitting around his jaw and bringing him closer than ever before.

Their lips crashed together in the next instant.

It was explosive and otherworldly and... and everything Felix had ever wanted and dreamed and hoped of.

With a clash of teeth and the press of plushness, Minho was groaning into the kiss, hands quickly scrambling for something to hold. Desperately, he clutched at Felix's hips just as Felix pressed in a little closer to him.

Felix's tongue prodded at the line of his lips, and Minho allowed him entrance in the next breath, their tastes dancing a lilting kind of tango. In their haste of passionate kisses, Minho somehow managed to hoist Felix up into the air, holding him steady as the younger wrapped his legs around his waist.

In a matter of seconds, Minho was moving then, walking towards the bed. And then everything happened all at once... with Minho throwing Felix down onto the bed with his slim legs still wrapped around the elder's waist. Felix's blonde locks fanned out against the downy pillows as Minho's tongue teased against his.

Silence lapsed between them, the only sounds filling up the entire room being the noises that came from between them - wet lips and low groans and breathy cries.

Before anything could go further though, Minho was yanking away from Felix. Hands still digging into his hips, his fingers pressed in close to the younger's oversized grey sweatpants. "W-We shouldn't... Bokkie... it isn't- doesn't feel right..." He began, but already, Felix was trying to coax him back into the kisses - reaching up and twirling a few fingers through his crimson locks.

"Why? Because I just got out of a shitty relationship? Because we're best friends?" Felix questioned, silently enjoying the way his lips felt puffy and kiss-swollen. He felt hot all over and could feel the tent in his pants steadily growing.

Minho gave him a deep frown, palms sinking into the plush mattress at Felix's side. The younger wanted to whine out and cry for the absence of his touch against his hips, but he decided he'd save the begging for... later.

"Yeah- and just... you can't possibly want this right now- want me."

Felix made a noncommittal, low hum in his throat, before his hand drew away from the elder's crimson locks and his fingers were brushing against his smooth, milky cheek. "We'd be fools to ignore the shit that's been brewing between us for years, Minho. Almost everyone in our life has thought we've been dating at some point. Hell, even Jicheul accused me of cheating on him with you."

Minho frowned slowly, dark brows pulling together and eyes lighting up with a swarthy mix of barely checked desire and uncertainty. "I'm not going to be a fix for your problems, Felix- I can't be. That's something you have to work through yourself."

"I'm not asking you to be one. I just..."

Minho tipped into him, gently pressing their foreheads together and breathing fire down across his face as he prodded Felix to continue. "What, Lix? What is it?"

"I need to forget- just for a little bit, you know?"

The elder tilted away from his frame, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow his way. "And you think I'm gonna be the perfect fit for that?"

Felix shrugged slowly, brows crumpling as the words flowed from his lips freely, in a soothing tone. "I think that... I've always loved you- in more ways than just a friend can. And now is the culmination of all these pent-up emotions finally coming to a head so... why wait any longer?"

At his confession, Minho let out a low groan, nose digging into the crook between Felix's neck and shoulder blade. "Fuck, you don't know how long I've waited to hear that..."

"Help me, Hyung," Felix began after that, moving Minho's face so that they were staring at each other once more. "Can you do that... help me?"

Slowly, Minho ended up nodding, a dark smirk pulling across his lips as he gave Felix a heated kiss. "Where do you want me? How?"

But Felix didn't even need to reply, as he gripped a little harder onto Minho's waist and turned their bodies in a tumble of limbs. Soon, Minho was the one with his spine sinking into the mattress, crimson locks messy against the grey-colored duvet.

"L-Like this..." Felix muttered in barely-controlled lust, as his hands found their way to the waistline of Minho's joggers. He peered up at the older in silence, asking for permission. And when he got the all-clear, he was shucking them and his boxers away.

Instantly, Minho's cock sprang to life from being released out of the confines of his pants. Felix sat back on his heels between Minho's spread legs for just a few seconds, taking in deep breaths.

Because fuck, was it big.

Veiny, too. With a girth so wide, Felix had no idea how the night was going to end.

The tip was already pink and leaking out precum, the thin sheen casting a pretty glow against Minho's thighs. The bedroom was altogether dark, save for the pulled curtains nearby that offered a small amount of faint moonlight to bleed into the space between them.

"F-Fuck, you're so pretty..." Felix started, bringing his hands up to his lips and spitting on them dutifully before he reached out with supple anticipation toward Minho.

And the elder stayed completely still and silent for a few moments, as Felix felt him out. Curious palms wrapping around the base, fingers gripping just slightly before he began dragging his hands up to the tip, thumb playing with the leaking slit there.

Minho squirmed underneath him, and Felix caught his stare - the way his pupils were already blowing out and the way a dusting of a pinkish blush bloomed across his cheeks, trickling down the column of his neck.

"F-Feels so good, Bok... holy shit-" Minho croaked out in a resonant voice, moving his hips upwards just a tiny bit in time with Felix's touch.

As Felix began to play with Minho's cock with one of his hands, the other found its way to the hemline of Minho's baggy sleeping t-shirt. The one he always wore when he wanted to have a relaxing night around the house.

Slowly, in tandem with his tugs, his fingers lifted Minho's shirt. Until he caught sight of his soft, muscular abdomen, smooth skin gleaming in the twilight hours. His cute pink nipples pebbled against the cool night air, And soon, Felix found himself tilting into him slightly, mouth dropping open as his lips locked around one of his pecks, tongue coming out to poke around there at the bud before he began to suck with a vengeance.

The entire time, his attention was focused on the elder male; from the way that he writhed underneath his touch, hips thrusting against Felix's hand that was circling his hard cock, to the way that Minho allowed breathy, high-pitched moans to escape from between his lips.

"Never knew you'd be this way- so supple and pliant..." Felix chuckled darkly, as he squeezed a little harder around his cock, earning a low cry from the elder. Wet saliva leaked out from Felix's mouth, as he lapped at Minho's peaked buds. "You like this? Like your little angel Bokkie to fuck you... to suck on your nipples and squeeze my hands around your cock?"

Minho was nodding vehemently after that, swallowing down a large gulp and tearing his screwed-shut eyes open to look down at Felix. At the way his teeth clamped down around his peaked nipples and the way his fingers circled around his cock. "Y-Yeah... you have no fucking idea how long I've thought about this... fantasized about it."

"Bet you fantasized about other things too, hmm?" Felix mused, mouth trailing kisses down the center of his stomach and nearing his bare hips. "Bet you dreamed about this mouth wrapped around your dick- sucking you dry."

Slowly, Minho let out a low chuckle. "That too-"

But Felix didn't let him finish his train of thought, as he dropped his jaw wide open and fit his lips around his cock in the next instant. Hand playing at the base of Minho, tickling his balls, Felix began to bob his head up and down along his shaft, swirling his tongue with each movement of his neck.

"Ah- fuck!" Minho cried out, reaching for the younger's head and gripping at his bleached locks, guiding his movement along his cock to right where Minho needed him most. "Right there... fuck, Lix, you're sucking me off so well."

Felix hummed against his length, his lips slick and swollen from all of the kissing and sucking. The tip of Minho hit the back of his throat soon after that, but his gag reflex was nowhere to be found, and he took it all in stride. Lips parted around Minho's cock, Felix hollowed out his cheeks with each slow drag of his mouth.

Up and down, up and down.

The lewd, nasty sounds coming from Felix’s mouth were enough to make him lose just a little bit more of his sanity. And in that moment, he wasn’t thinking about anything else - just focused on Minho and trying to make him feel good. Trying to make himself forget about all the other shit in his life. Slowly, his hand pulled away from Minho’s cock and began to work at the waistband of his own joggers.

Then Felix moved his mouth off of Minho's cock, licking his lips clean of the pre-cum that had been leaking out of his puffy tip. “Can I use you, Min? Please?” He asked, as he ripped off his own boxers and t-shirt and threw them onto the ground behind him. “Let me fuck you nice and deep- help me feel good, please?”

And Minho mewled out weakly, shaking his head in reply as his lips parted open in a breathless, whispery moan. “Holy shit- yes, yes… do whatever you have to do to help yourself. Be selfish, just- take it all out on me.” The rest of his words caught in his throat as Felix’s cock sprang to life in front of him. All red and swollen and leaking an obscene amount.

Before Felix could regain any solid part of his sanity, he was reaching over across Minho and into the nearby nightstand. One day when he had been searching for a phone charger, he had caught a glimpse of a bottle of lube and condoms hidden underneath the piles of papers and books right there in the drawer. He plucked the half-used bottle of lube out, drenching his fingers and cock in the slippery, sweet-smelling liquid.

“Strawberry flavored?” He mused, raising a quizzical eyebrow Minho’s way as he neared him again, pressing his mouth against his and trailing his tongue around the line of his lips. “I didn’t take you for such a romantic…”

“Just- shut up already,” Minho murmured against his lips, but when Felix pulled away just a tiny bit, he saw the blush creeping across the older’s face, painting everything in a pink-toned hue.

Gradually, Felix’s fingers trailed their way between Minho’s legs, his other hand gripping on tight to his bare hip. “Just breathe in for me, yeah?” He coached, as his lubed fingers played with Minho’s rim. He could feel the older stiffen underneath him, eyes widening as soon as Felix began to slip a single finger inside his entrance. “Relax… it’ll only hurt for a few seconds.”

Minho reached out to Felix, hands coming up behind the nape of his neck, digits gripping at the blonde locks there as his eyes screwed shut. “To be honest- I haven’t bottomed in a while… I’m always the top, most of the time.” He whispered, mouth falling open and legs widening a little bit more in supplication as Felix added another finger.

“Hmm- you sure stretch out nice against my fingers though,” Felix said in a deep, prideful coo. He peppered light kisses across Minho’s face, mouth playing with the delicate features of his nose and cheeks. “Real nice and easy… I’d never guess you hadn’t bottomed recently, from the way your hole is sucking my hand in so nicely.” Just then, he added in a third finger, pumping in and out shallowly to get Minho accustomed to the feeling of it all.

Desperately, Minho’s eyes shot open and he bit down hard on his bottom lip. “N-No more foreplay… need you to fuck me right now… use me to forget about everything else…”

And how could Felix ever deny him something like that?

Ever deny such a stunning, angelic face, being scrunched up so wonderfully, lips parted and legs wide open just for him?

In no time at all, he was massaging the lube around his own cock, lining up his tip to Minho’s entrance, entire attention focused on the way that he slowly sunk into his hole. The stretch was incredible- making Minho convulse in pleasure underneath Felix as he gradually bottomed out inside of him.

“A-Ah… fuck!” Minho cried out the moment Felix froze in his place for a few beats to let him adjust. Then the elder’s face was darkening, his eyes growing swarthy as he stared up at Felix with dim, lust-filled feelings dancing right there in his irises. “Keep going, Lix… fuck me hard, please…”

That was all Felix needed to set him off.

Instantly, he was yanking out of Minho almost entirely, teasing Minho’s rim with his throbbing tip before plunging back into him at break-neck speed. The elder’s eyes burst open in surprise from the impact of it all, moaning out like a fucked-over anime bitch from the hentai mangas Felix sometimes read.

For a few moments, no words were spoken between the two of them. The room filled up with the sounds of Felix’s low grunts as he pounded into Minho at an ungodly speed. Meanwhile, Minho was squirming against the bed, crying out in pleasure every time the tip of Felix hit against that warm, star-filled spot deep inside of him.

“You’re so fucking pretty like this-“ Felix began in a deep growl, the tension around them snapping every time he felt his cock dig further and further between Minho’s squeezing walls. Rolling his hips against the elder, Minho began to meet his thrusts halfway, his arousal dripping out of the head of his pink, swelled cock. “My sweet, sweet cockwhore- legs wide open and eyes rolled back into your skull as I fuck your brains out…”

And he could feel how Minho liked his words - the dirty little thing liked the filthy ways Felix was speaking to him. It was apparent by the way the blush across Minho’s face bled into the column of his neck. It was apparent by the way that he whined out in pure, unadulterated bliss. And it was especially apparent by the way his back arched up and off of the mattress below him- walls fluttering around Felix's cock.

Felix continued at his unreal pace, surprising himself with how much stamina he had at that moment. He was chasing his release rabidly, jerking in and out of Minho’s hole without any sort of mercy. And Minho loved every second of it as his nails skirted down Felix's bare back, nails scratching at his spine.

“I’m gonna cum, f-fuck, Lix, I can’t-“ Minho hissed out, and Felix could feel the way the elder's hole clamped down a little harder around him, as the elder braced for his climax. “Can’t take it any longer- need to-“

But Felix was already guiding him through it all, hands reaching down between their hips that were meeting together with each thrust, taking hold of Minho’s rigid cock. “That’s it, darling… cum for me, hmm? Let it all out…” His voice was profound and lilting, coaxing out a slur of breathless moans and curses from Minho as he jerked his hand up the length of Minho at the pace that he drilled his cock into him.

For a moment, Minho went completely still - frozen, like a statue made out of pure, sparkling-spun glass. Then, all at once, everything collapsed and he was falling down the cliffside - hole pulsing around Felix’s cock as he jerked from side to side. The release was otherworldly - if the look on Minho’s face was anything to go by. His jaw dropped open, eyes rolling into the back of his skull, tears pricking at the corners of his long, dark lashes, the prettiest of cries falling from his swollen lips as Felix led him through his release. His seed spilled out across the younger’s small hand, covering his palm in stark whiteness.

Just from the sight of the older coming undone right before him, Felix was losing his last bit of control. “I-I’m going insane, fuck- need to…” He breathed out senselessly, chasing his high. His hips stuttered against Minho’s, as his release ripped right through his entire being. The bright-hot, crimson heat of it flooded through his system, lighting up his veins in brilliant casts of gold and violet. His cock swelled deep inside of Minho, his hips shallowly fucking his dripping release back into the older male with each pulse of the heat that coated his mind over and over again in pure, cosmic bliss.

When he was finally finished, Felix looked down to catch a glimpse of a glowing Minho, his entire face lit up with ecstasy, a huge grin pulling at the corners of his lips. Felix took one last powerful thrust, pushing the rest of his seed into the older, drawing out another weak whine from him.

“Why are you smiling like a maniac?” Felix chuckled, still staring down at the red-haired man, as he brought his hand away from Minho’s cock. His digits were covered and sticky, but he made diligent work of licking them clean. Much to Minho’s delight, he let out a low groan at the sight of it. “Damn- was my cock that good?” He made no move to pull out just yet, loving the way Minho’s warm walls hugged against his cock so tightly. The fit was immaculate.

Minho was already shaking his head though, hands playing with the messy locks of sweat-slick hair that had dipped into the front of Felix’s eyes from his excessive fucking. “Nah- just… I can’t believe I just got fucked by my best friend… something I’ve been wanting for so long, you know?”

That made a furious blush creep across Felix’s cheeks, as he tipped down into Minho, pressing a few light kisses against his red mouth. The older’s hair was disheveled, his shirt halfway pulled up across his chest, showcasing the sensitive red marks Felix had left with his attention there at his nipples.

“To be honest, I can’t believe it either,” Felix started, voice a low rasp against Minho’s lips. “And you were right- you did help me. In so many different ways. I don’t know how I’m ever gonna be able to repay you.”

For a moment, the silence stretched on between them. And when Felix tilted his head to the side awaiting Minho’s reply, the older just yanked him closer, mewling a tiny bit from the way Felix’s cock pressed further into his sensitive hole. “You can start your repayment by fucking me like that every single night… how does that sound?”

Threading his sticky digits through Minho’s red locks, Felix pressed another handful of kisses against his mouth, stealing the breath right out of the older’s lungs. “To be honest, that sounds like a fucking dream to me.”

And then their limbs tangled up again, and they were pressing into each other, kissing their worries away, hands exploring softly, and sighs flooding from parted lips.

It didn’t matter that Felix wasn’t over his ex.

It didn’t matter that he still had a long process to get over him - with loads of therapy and long talk sessions with his friends and family.

It didn’t matter that he didn’t know where he was going to go.

Because right then, all he wanted to do was delve into Lee Minho. Feel him in so many different ways. Ways that he never imagined he’d get to feel, in all his years of knowing the older male. Ways he never thought he’d want to feel in the first place, until Minho’s thoughts on him became apparent, and Felix realized he shared similar inclinations.

His best friend had been right, in the end.

Perhaps not everyone could help Felix,

But the person who could be the most successful in helping him along on his healing journey was Minho.

Whether that be in the bedroom, or out of it.

He was always going to be there, no matter what.

No matter who got in the way - abusive, insane exes, life-filled drama, rain or shine.

Lee Minho was there to stay.

Fin.

🌊 taglist: want to be added onto my taglist? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can send me a msg and request to be added!! to be removed from the taglist, please send me a msg and i will promptly take you off of the list.

🌊 tags: @sleepyleeji :: @if-spearb :: @hyunes4ngel :: @drhsthl :: @seosalad :: @toomuchtellyneck :: @endzii23 :: @smally97 :: @ana-marais98 :: @sherryblossom :: @priincehoseok :: @biribarabiribbaem :: @/leyknxw :: @linovely :: @lolqxv :: @linonyang :: @morningstardada :: @taeriffic :: @day6andetcetera :: @hyuka-luvbot :: @linohumina :: @urmomma0324 :: @poisonivy2 :: @nappynapnaps :: @/annsunakai :: @bellamuerte1987 :: @julciaqwerty :: @abbiestearsricochet :: @leeknowsramen :: @maeleelee :: @cb97breathing :: @/wealwayskeepfighting :: @armystay89 :: @drhsthl :: @skzcollision :: @noellllslut :: @skz-streamer :: @hello-2-u-from-me :: @h0p3l3ssromantic :: @bangchanbighandsome :: @imastraykidsfan :: @feellikecinderella :: @hyundumpling :: @/weirdkoaladuck ::@hyunnieshannie :: @astralis-is-typing :: @ivyisnotokay

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epicbuddieficrecs · 7 months

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Epic Buddie Fic Rec | October 9th-15th 2023

Hey guys!

I'm trying to get back into the habit of making these recs every week. I've been working on a banner and it's not ready yet, but I didn't want to wait for it to be ready before making fic recs because procrastination = bad!! 😆 I hope you enjoy!

If you don't know me from my other fic rec blogs, I rec pretty much all the fics that I've read and that I've enjoyed in these recaps, but I put an emoji next to the ones that I liked just a liiiiiittle bit more 😉 For Stucky, I used blue hearts (💙), for Steddie I used black hearts (🖤), and for Buddie... well the decision wasn't too hard to make 😜

Complete

take me to the edge (then let me fall) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP | 1K | Explicit): Or, the one where Eddie edges Buck until he loses his mind all the while calling him a good boy.

🔥 but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

🔥 still by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Post-Season 6 AU, Near Death Experiences | 9K | Teen): “Your guess was correct, Diaz,” the bomb technician tells them, as he gestures to the orange circle. “You’re standing on a large sensor plate, wired to a detonator. It’s incredibly important that you don’t move. Don’t shift. When you put your weight down, it was like cocking a gun - you take your weight off, this thing is powerful enough to take the entire house with it."

to feel the need of your touch by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Light BDSM, Post-Season 6 | 7K | Explicit): When Natalia had casually suggested they stay fuck buddies, at least until he got his shit together about Eddie, Buck had seriously considered it. But it just wasn’t what he wanted. So, he had said no and Natalia had understood, and that was that. And now, Buck was miserable. He was so sensitive. His skin felt like a live wire. Any and all touches he received started to feel like a shock to his system. Or, the one where Buck is touchstarved and desperate for Eddie. They fuck but it's also really sweet.

reassure me with your praise by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Kinktober, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): Or, the one where Buck is concerned he might be bad in bed and Eddie has a solution.

bet on it by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Kinktober | 4K | Explicit): Or, the one where newly together Buck and Eddie make a bet to see who can last longer without sex. The bet lasts one day.

Something Dumb to Do by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Friends to Lovers, First Time | 8K | Explicit): "Too bad we can't just date each other." Eddie laughs. "What?" "No, I'm serious!" Buck sets his beer down, the better to gesture with both hands, face lighting up, and Eddie just—he really loves the guy, okay. Ridiculous as he is. "It would be so much easier! You wouldn't have to introduce a new person to Chris—he already likes me anyway—and you could tell Pepa so she'll stop setting you up on dates that don't go anywhere—" "And what would you get out of this?" Eddie asks, grinning. - Or: Buck and Eddie try something out together.

hope is a sword by marcato/ @callaplums (Post-Season 6, Near-Death Experiences | 5K | Teen): Holy shit, Eddie loves him so much. He’s been so stupid, telling himself to wait for the right moment. What right fucking moment? It should have been yesterday, three weeks ago– hell, it should have been three years ago when he was telling his best friend about the goddamn will. It doesn’t matter right now, though. The only thing that matters is keeping as much of Buck’s blood inside his body as possible. One can only hope and wish and pray.

🔥 Four Can Keep a Secret by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-Season 6, Secret Relationship | 20K | Teen): When Ravi and Hen accidentally see Buck and Eddie, who are trying hard to keep their new relationship a secret, in the middle of a romantic moment, they try to make them confess without the rest of the station finding out. Shenanigans ensue.

early hours of yearning by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (PWP, Kinktober | 4K | Explicit): “You really wanna go again?" “Yes,” he confirms, gently scratching his teeth down the side of his neck, treasuring the deep moan he gets in response. “God, you’re fucking insatiable," he hears Eddie moan as he tilts his head back, giving Buck more space to work. “Doesn’t feel like you’re complaining."

how forever feels by icesculptures/ @ice-sculptures @athenagranted (Post-Season 6, Getting Together | 8K | General): Or: tired of the growing distance between them, Eddie asks Buck to dance at Maddie and Chimney's wedding, healing more than his own heart along the way.

WIP

Don't They Know It's the End of the World? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Fallout 4 AU, Post-Apocalyptic | 4/14 | 7K | Mature | Warning: Violence): After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

🔥 Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU | 8/9 | 24K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 2/? | 4K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 10/? | 85K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #911 fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic rec #epic buddie fic rec

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ineffabildaddy · 3 months

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Do you have any favorite fics? Or/And things you like in fics generally speaking? I liked yours a lot!

hello!! thank u for saying u like my fics, i appreciate it so much💙

here's a selection of my faves, and they're all gonna be shouting out people i'm lucky enough to know myself because i think it's very important to show my friends how much i love their work, and also all the other fics i like by people i don't know are written by fairly popular authors so i feel like you'll know them already!!

these are all aziraphale/crowley of course✨

The Anon Before Christmas by @foolishlovers - quiet, gentle and romantic enemies to lovers human au!!!

An Innocent Enough Question by @crowleyslvt - insanely sexy naga!crowley oneshot that awakened something in me.... hehehe

Follies and Nonsense by @raining-stars-somewhere-else - lovely and cosy oneshot about aziraphale teaching crowley to read!!!

Pretense by @ineffable-rohese (ongoing) - sensual, kinky exploration of crowley and aziraphale's relationship around the time of rome 41ad

I Only Woo In Night, poems by @malachitegrey and prose by @voluptatiscausa - gorgeous pining featuring sexy times in uz and 1941

The taste of sand by @captainblou - beautiful sexy lovesick touch-starved aziraphale poem

it was really hard to choose which fics to include but these are just the first ones that came to my head when i thought of these wonderful writers hehe💙 i hope u enjoy reading them as much as i have🥰

#good omens #fanfic #asks #ineffabildaddy

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gadriezmannsgirl · 2 months

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May i request,where in reader and grizi are laying in bed just talking about your day and just adoring each other! Idk I just had a really soft spot for him rn ! Anywho thank you so much for your writing! I hope you have a wonderful day💙

Grizi fic because it's his birthday! Can you believe that gorgeous man is 33 now? I can't, he's just a baby

Lovers -A.G7

Summary: You're each other's safe space

You rolled into your bedroom, laying yourself into the door sighing and kicking off your shoes.

"Bonjour, princesse" (Hello, princess) You heard his voice and inmediately smiled before lifting your gaze, his deep blue eyes made you feel safe and his smile took off the weight of the day away.

"Hola" You said softly with a tired smile on "How's your day?"

"Pretty boring" He smiled "What about yours?"

"Long" You said inmediately "Very, very long" You sighed closing your eyes "I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep" You let yourself go face down on your bed "and not move from the bed at all for at least three days straight" You heard his sweet laugh

"You gotta go and shower, amor"

"Are you telling me that I stink?" You looked up to him and saw how his lips were pushed upwards and looked to another side "I'm not!"

"You're" He said

"You're lying, Antoine Griezmann" His facade fell quickly as laughter came over him

"I can shower with you if you want"

"Your hair is wet"

"I can still take another shower" You hum with a smile on, you pushed yourself up and crawled on the bed to be face to face with him

"Only shower?"

"Well... I can think about something else too"

"Save that for later, campeón. I'm tired right now"

"You pervert, I was talking about a massage!" You laugh kissing his lips and going straight to the bathroom "You dirty minded"

You took off your shirt and throwed it at him "Shut up and come to take a shower with me"

Antoine got up really fast and ran towards the bathroom making you laugh "You're a 33 year old man but you still act as if you were 16"

"That's the spirit!"

Once you were inside the bathroom, he truly saw how tired you were and took care of you without thinking twice, he washed your hair, your body, he talked to you trying to get your head off from work and after that he helped you with your after shower routine, the creams on your body, doing your hair for you in a nice braid, dressing you in your pijama's which consisted in one of his shirts and panties.

"Thank you, Anto" You kiss his cheek

"No need to thank me, princesse" He smiled "I'm glad I can help you whenever you're having a bad day" You smile softly

"It wasn't a bad day" You confess "It was just a really tiring and long day, I had to run around everywhere, the guys were making simple mistakes, the documents I was waiting for to sign weren't even done, two meetings got pushed back because one of them is sick... It was crazy" You whispered shaking your head "What about you? How was training?"

"Koke keeps calling me Toni Pepperoni"

"You let him"

"He heard you" You laugh softly "But overall was good, tiring and hard like always but there were always laughter"

"Sometimes I wish I can switch offices with you" He laughed

"You wouldn't want that"

"No, I wouldn't" You agree "I run five minutes and I'm already passing out, imagine having to run from one side of a field to the other for +90 minutes. I'll be dead" You both laugh "And the work sessions you do, shut your mouth don't get me started on that" You shake your head "It's truly amazing what you do, love"

"Your work is amazing too. Without you the company wouldn't know how to work"

"That's called being a bossy bitch" He laughs

"You're bossy, yes. But not a bitch"

"I can be sometimes"

"0 out 11 times"

"But I still am" You winked as he laughs once again. You enjoy that sound and the smile that covers his handsome face.

"Definitely, Morata's afraid of you"

"He should be. I didn't let my shoe go out after kicking that ball for no reason"

"That day was so amazing" His giggles made you giggle as well, you keep on talking about your days and about random things that went to your mind at that moment, when he suddenly asked "Baby, how does a date night sound?"

"Do we have to go out?"

"You know we don't"

"Then it's perfect"

"You set up the movie and I'll bring something to eat"

"Can I cuddle you?"

"Do you even have to ask? Of course you will" He scoffs "Do you want Chip Ahoy's and Pringles's?" You opened your mouth but he beat you to it "Of course you will"

"Mira tu-!" (Look, you little-!) You grabbed his pillow and went to throw it at him but he passed through the door "You're lucky I'm in love with you!"

"You're the lucky one, señora!" (Old lady)

"You're definitely not coming out alive out of this one, Griezmann!" You ran out after him, you heard his laugh already on the kitchen as you made your way downstairs. He was going to get it.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviymarcsbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

#gadriezmannsgirl writes!#antoine griezmann blurb #antoine griezmann fluff #antoine griezmann x reader #antoine griezmann x you #antogriezmann #antoine griezmann #atletico madrid #atleti #france #antoine griezmann one shot #antoine griezmann fanfic #atletico de madrid #france national team #football players x reader #football players fanfic #football imagines

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hornystiel · 1 month

Text

tagged by @thisisapaige thank youu 💙

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 6 (i'm new to posting my stuff there)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 33,807

3. What fandoms do you write for? Spn, tho back in the day i wrote weird ass crossover things for some games + comics + films and manga lmao. and none of those were in english

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

dressing down, shotgunning gone right, a couple of firsts, dancing moves, chipped coin

5. Do you respond to comments? i try to respond to all of them, even if with just a thank you, and i cherish them all very much

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? umm for now it's dancing moves i guess? because it's very open and they're nowhere near done resolving their issues

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? a couple of firsts. they will be fine and they will have a lot of sex :3

8. Do you get hate on fics? not that i know of? i mean in the comments everybody is very nice :')

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? WELL. the thing is. i only read and write fics with smut because yolo carpe diem and i love smut and i think when it's well written it adds A LOT to the characters. or i just want to read steamy stuff for my own benefit hehe. anyway yes i write it and it can be anything really, but usually it's on the verge of desperate and they're very obsessed with each other. i'm also a monsterfucker and love wing kink so that too. aaand i like writing d/s dynamics <3

10. Do you write crossovers? in my earlier days - yes, i've written a couple but it's just some bits somewhere in my folders and only one person besides me saw them. in spn fandom i'm not really interested in it

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of and i don't think i'm that popular lmao

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? as of now - nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no and i honestly don't think i'll be able to because i'm too protective and too 'it should be my way and style and nothing else' person so i'd be a nightmare to co-write with

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? destiel (duh) and mckirk (so many years have passed and yet they still hold a place in my heart)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? idk i have hope that i will be able to finish them all eventually. but probably the 'Skating Gays' fic because i can't focus enough to do a proper research on all figure skating shit and i don't want to write it half blindly and also in my head it's like at least 40k long and it intimidates me because i usually write much shorter stuff

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogues and smut (or i hope so at least)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? can't stay motivated and focused to write Big Works and probs the whole 'what's around the characters' descriptions

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i'm bilingual myself with knowledge of bits and pieces in other languages and it doesn't bother me even if it's in a language i don't know, it can even be left without any footnotes if the meaning of this bit is for the audience/another character to fail to understand the character speaking. other than that i can read the translated text and be okay

19. First fandom you wrote for? hmm. hard to remember but if we're digging deep enough it was probably tsubasa reservoir chronicle

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? i love all of them? i put my whole pussy in all of them and i enjoy them after. but IF i have to choose...dancing moves and dressing down probably. still. HARD

tagging @jactingjoices @hauntedpearl @angelcasendgame 💜

#tagged #destiel fic #writing #fanfiction

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thetaleoflevi · 2 years

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Lovers Who Hesitate

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Pairing: Levi x fem!reader

Content: NSFW, Modern AU

Content Warnings: Insinuated poor relationship with family, explicit language, workaholic reader, alcohol *wine, drunk reader, vomit, 18+ smut, rub a dub dub…sorry, hand job through boxers, PIV sex, breast play, clitoral stimulation, scratching, more 18+ things, 18+ warning no. 3!, friends to lovers

Word Count: 13.4k

Description: Just a whole fic dedicated to Levi and Reader acting like dumb lovers throughout their friendship.

A/N: I hate writing descriptions//summaries. You guys know this and yet I still mention it every time I post something. Apologies :p. Anyways, I really hope you enjoy! 💙

⭐️Taglist: @urfilgoth @ackermandick

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You were in love. You fell so hard, and it was the messiest thing you’d ever felt. It was upsetting when you finally came to terms with it, because you had given into one of those things you said you wouldn’t get into. “Money and success are the way of life,” you vividly remember your mother telling you when you were just twelve years old. Love had no room in the equation, or so your days on this popular, lonely planet showed you.

The universe was cruel for letting someone like him get in the way of you making life your bitch. It was stupid. He had a habit of walking into your office and watching you work, knowing he had things to get to before the end of the day. You found it childish whenever you blushed at the feeling of his body heat radiating from behind you. He enjoyed the rage that engulfed you when you were forced to stay later because your boss was a lazy asshole who pretended he didn’t know how to do his job so that you would do it for him. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Right…?

“Hey, Levi?” You poke your head through the doorway of his office.

“Yes, what can I do for you?” He spins his chair to face you, folding his hands in his lap, giving you all of his attention. It shouldn’t affect you as much as it does, but you can feel your ears getting warmer by the second.

“Oh, um, I was gonna go get some coffee from the shop across the street, and I was wondering if you wanted something.” You straighten your posture, your whole body in the room now.

“Did you ask anybody else?” His lip quirks up a little. You’re too kind for your own good.

“N-No. You’re kind of my only friend here,” you chuckle nervously, your whole face now growing warm at the lame confession.

“I see. I think it’s only fair that I join you, then. As your friend.” He stands up from his chair, grabbing his coat from the hook built into his door.

“I can just bring it to you. You don’t have to come with me,” you insist. “It’s right across the street. I’ll be back in two minutes.”

“It’s lunchtime. I doubt you’ll be back in two minutes.” He grabs his keys, putting them in his pocket as he nears the exit. “The lunch rush is killer for that tiny shop.“ He’s out the door before you are, but when he continues walking and doesn’t hear you behind him, he turns around.

“Come on. We can even sit inside if you want.”

You nod, an awkward smile on your face as you follow closely behind him.

—

“Have you had anything from this place? I’m looking at the premium black tea. It says premium but in my experience, anything with the word premium before it is a simple product with an extra charge.” He scans the board filled top to bottom with different items handwritten in a curly font.

“Actually, I haven’t. I just really needed some caffeine, but my go-to cafe is closed today.” You inch closer to the person in front of you as the line moves forward.

“Ah, then I guess this will be a first time for the both of us.” He looks away from the board, facing you. Your cheeks have a pink tint to them. You shove your sweaty hands into your pockets, still clenching them tightly.

“I can help the next guest,” the cashier calls to you and Levi. “What can I get started for you guys today?” The brunette says, emerald eyes flickering from your breasts to your eyes.

“I have a question about your premium black tea. What about it makes it a premium drink? There’s an extra charge for it, so it must be deserving of it.” Levi talks to the cashier, not getting full attention from the him. His name tag said ‘Eren’.

“Uh, yeah, give me a second. Mikasa!” He calls the black haired woman in the other room. She was quick to get beside him.

“Yes, Eren?” Her soft spoken voice was a great contrast to her pretty face.

“The guest wants to know what makes the premium black tea a premium drink.”

“Oh, the tea leaves are imported from China. The price per pound is a bit expensive, so we do want to make sure we make our money back eventually.” Her tone is flat as she answers any follow up questions Levi has.

“Did you need anything else, Eren?” Her voice gains its softness again.

“No, that was it. Thanks, Mikasa.” He winks at her, the woman’s pale face going red in seconds. She walks away, quickly turning to hide her blush.

“I’ll try the tea, then. What do you want?” Levi turns to you.

“Coffee,” you blurt. You’re not blind. You can see the direction the man’s eyes are looking in, and it’s unsettling.

“Okay. Did you want any sugar, milk, or creamer?” Levi catches onto your uncomfortableness.

“Yes.”

“Okay. She’ll have her coffee with milk and sugar.”

The cashier rings it all up, giving Levi a receipt. Once the drinks are ready, Levi goes to pick them up. “It’s polite to look customers in the eye when helping them.” He picks up the two cups, looking at Eren’s name tag one more time before going to the table you sat at.

“This one is mine and this one is yours.” He puts the cup down in front of you. “I don’t think we should come back here.”

“Why not?” You bring the cup to your lips, the hot liquid instantly burning your tongue as it enters your mouth.

“I know somewhere better. We’ll have to finish our work quicker, but I promise it’s worth it.”

Why does he have to be so impressive? Why can’t he give you a reason to hate him? A reason to focus solely on your life and forget about him.

“That sounds nice, but when aren’t we slammed with work? We got lucky today.” You attempt to push away from the idea.

“Why does it have to be during work?” His sterling eyes look into yours, his focus unwavering.

You think you should just come clean. You can’t stray off the path of success. Sadly, happiness isn’t part of the equation either.

“Levi, I-“

Your phone vibrates in your pocket. Your boss’s name pops up on the screen.

“One second,” you say, clicking the green button. Your boss wanted to know where you were, and unfortunately you got an earful.

Levi took the time to admire your features. Your lips formed the syllables of every word so elegantly, and your word choice is so careful, like you’ve prepared for conversations you haven’t had yet for days. He looks down at your neck, a simple necklace decorating it. Levi realizes something as you defend yourself on the phone. You’re beautiful, kind, and you know what you want, but you seem unavailable. You seem oblivious to his advances, or just plain uninterested.

“Okay. See you there,” you say, ending the phone call. You exhale frustratedly. “Boss called. I have to go.” You stand up, pushing your chair in with one hand, picking your cup up with the other.

“If you have to go, I have to go.” A small smile forms on his face.

“No, you’re fine. He didn’t ask for you.”

“If I sit here alone, it defeats the purpose of me coming with you. I wanted to spend my break with you.” He stands, repeating the same process as you.

“Sorry, Levi. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll buy the drinks next time.” You blush as he gets closer. The smell of his cologne wafts into your nose, and suddenly you feel even more nervous than before.

“It’s fine. We’re not coming back here. Let’s go.” His palm lands on your upper back, guiding you towards the exit. He turns to look at the cashier one more time, giving him a cold expression before following you back to the building.

You went right back to your office and slaved yourself for another three hours, sipping on the coffee that got cold as you focused on the endless reports on your computer screen. You clicked the last key for the day, slouching in your chair immediately after. Your phone buzzed on the desk, and the screen glowed with a notification. Levi’s name popped up.

Have dinner with me?

Your blood ran cold and your heartbeat was erratic. What about you intrigued him so much? Why did he want to spend time with you? What made you special?

Okay. Nothing fancy.

Just for tonight. Let me take you somewhere nice.

‘This sounds like a date’ you typed before deleting the message.

This is a one time thing, Ackerman. What time?

9PM. I’ll pick you up.

Deal.

—

It’s eight forty-five and you’re still panicking about how you should do your hair. It’s so unmanageable, too. It keeps sticking out in different directions, and you’re stressing about it like hell.

Just parked. The reservation is for 9:30 and it’s a 20 minute drive. Not trying to rush you or anything :)

No. The smiley face. You wasted a solid three minutes staring at it, and your hair still looked crazy.

—

You got in his car, feeling proud of yourself for being able to tame your mane.

“God,” Levi says, gawking at you. He’s blushing and you don’t even notice because you’re too focused on second guessing your outfit choice.

“W-What? Don’t we have to get going? It’s nine ten.” You try to distract him from your appearance.

“Forget the reservation. I’m cooking for you.”

“Oh, but you spent all that money. Let me at least pay you back.” You open your purse and pull out an inch of your wallet before Levi pushes it back in.

“It doesn’t matter. You can pay me back by letting me cook for you. I promise my cooking isn’t as bad as you might think.”

You chuckle before giving in.

“Okay, fine.”

He grins, putting the gear in drive, before driving you to his lovely home.

—

“Make yourself at home. Can I get you like something to drink?” He taps your shoulder, signaling for you to give him your coat.

“I’ll have what you’re having.” You feel strange in his house, not comfortable, but not totally uncomfortable. Being in a house that isn’t yours makes your nervous for a number of reasons, the main one being that if something breaks or goes missing, you’ll be the first person to blame as the invitee.

“I was gonna have a glass of wine. Are you sure you’ll have the same?” He goes into the kitchen, heading towards a cabinet where he stores fancy alcohol that is reserved only for the most special occasions. The occasion of today—you’re spending time with him outside of work, and that makes him feel like a hundred lightning bolts are powering him up.

He feels good about having you in his home. He prefers it because it’s more personal for him to cook for you than to pay for someone else to do it.

“Yeah, that should be fine.” You tiptoe towards the kitchen, stopping on the nonexistent line that divides the kitchen and the living room. You watch Levi as he skims through the labels on endless bottles of wine, not knowing that he’s choosing the most elegant one to share with you.

“This one looks good. We’ll start you off with half a glass because I don’t know what your alcohol tolerance is like.” He reaches up to grab two bulbous glasses from the cupboard.

“I don’t drink much wine, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you either.” You chuckle, still awkwardly standing between the two rooms.

The scarlet colored liquid pours into the glasses, yours only filled halfway, as promised, while Levi’s fills up just a little more.

“I’m gonna boldly assume that you have a high tolerance for alcohol. Correct me if i’m wrong.”

“Exactly. I’m still going to sip on it, but only because I’m trying to prove a point.” He goes into the fridge and brings out colorful ingredients for the meal he’s going to wow you with.

“Which is?” You question.

“Hmm…I need this, and this…and some of this,” he mutters to himself as he picks more ingredients from the drawers. He puts them all in a basket, thoroughly washing them before setting the basket on the counter so that he can rinse his cutting board and a knife. The water shuts off and he sets the cutting board over a damp towel.

“I know how to cook more than just scrambled eggs and ramen noodles.”

He finally says something about the way you’re still standing between the kitchen and living room, quirking a brow at the strangeness. “Sit on that stool for me, will you?” He points at a circle shaped stool that positions you in front of him, with his knife. He rolls up the sleeves of his light grey dress shirt before starting the prepping process for dinner.

You talked about so many things while watching him cook. How he got lured into the company you both work at, how much you both hated your lousy boss, dreams, places you’ve always wanted to go to. You got stuck on that last one for the longest time because Levi kept offering to take you to the places you only saw in your dreams. You settled for going on a spontaneous trip to Salzburg with him. The only rule was that it couldn’t be any time within the next two years, and that the trip had to be spontaneous. He agreed.

“It smells so fucking good, Levi.” You inhaled the smell that filled the air deeply. The profanity was a surprise, but he was glad you liked the aroma of the food he’d put so much effort into.

“One more minute.” He leans against the counter, watching as you eye your glass of wine. Half of it was gone, and you felt fine, or maybe you didn’t. Maybe that’s where the vulgar word came from.

“Time is a weird concept, don’t you think? In another dimension, the food would be done already, and in another dimension you would barely be putting it into the oven. I hate to break it to you, but in another dimension, we got carried away finding out about each other, and your food burned.”

Levi had figured out that day that your alcohol tolerance was weak. “I think it’s ready. Let’s get some food in your stomach.”

His oven mitts were cute. They were a gift from someone named Hange, and regardless of how stupid Levi thought the penguin littered, baby blue mitts were, he didn’t have the heart to throw them away. Hange moved hours—miles away, and these were one of his prized possessions.

—

“This is so good. Where did you learn to cook?” Halfway through the meal you sobered up a little. Partially because you stopped drinking the wine and stuffed your face a little.

“I’m self taught. I came to a realization during my final year of university,” he takes another sip of wine, taking his time to tell you his background of cooking, while you’re hanging onto every one of his words.

“What was the realization after all of that?” You ask, finally taking another sip of wine.

“I never want to live off of instant macaroni and cheese or frozen pizza ever again.” He picks up the perfect serving of vegetables and steak with his fork, feeding it into his mouth. “For something that takes two minutes to make, you get some shitty paste of a meal, when really, if you take more time and put in a little more effort, you can make something healthy—something that actually fills you.”

You suddenly feel ashamed of your stash of Kraft macaroni and cheese.

“Do you know how to cook?” He asks, washing down his last bite with a sip of wine.

“Not like this. I can cook you a piece of steak at most.” You savor the last bite of your meal. It’s something you wouldn’t even think to make in a million years.

“I can teach you, if you’d like,” his face warms up at the idea of spending even more time with you.

“No, I can’t ask you to do something like that for me. I’d only test your patience, and your patience is already tested at work.” You smile politely.

“I would have so much patience with you.”

Your face goes rosy at his last sentence. He didn’t mean it that way, but sometimes your mind likes making you think in that manner.

“Well, i’ll leave that at a maybe.”

—

“More wine?” He asks for the fifth time that night.

“Yes, please, Mr. Ackerman,” you slur. He had drank the same amount as you, maybe even more, yet it made less of an effect on him than you.

You stare blankly at the remaining drops at the bottom of your glass.

“On second thought, I don’t need it. It’s getting late, and I have to walk home,” your eyes were halfway shut and you spoke sluggishly.

“There’s no way you’re walking home in this state.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “And why is that? You’re telling me I can’t go home?”

You’re a mess. A stubborn, beautiful mess. Levi feels honored to be allowed to see you this way. You’re not stressing over work, you’re not stressing over family expectations. You’re intoxicated and honest.

“Maybe,” he replies to your cold gaze. “I’ll give you two options. One: you spend the night here. I have an extra room you can sleep in and i’ll be right next door if you need anything. Two: we sober up in the next few hours and i’ll drive you home as soon as I can.”

You go into a pensive state, struggling to remember the first option.

“One is my favorite number so i’ll go with that choice.”

At least you forgot how irritated you were a second ago when Levi said you couldn’t walk home.

“Levi, my favorite number is one,” you repeat.

“You mentioned that earlier.”

“Becauseeee, it’s so lonely. I could keep it company.” You blink. “Are you lonely? Am I keeping you company?”

“Yes.” That answered both of your questions.

“I’m so happy to be here with you, you know. I have something to tell you, but you can’t tell anyone. Okay?” You scooch closer to him, your shoulder touching his.

“Okay,” he says, mainly to entertain you.

You lean in, cupping his ear as you whisper what you’ve kept to yourself for months, maybe even a year now.

“I have a crush on you, Levi.” You giggle in his ear. “You can’t tell anyone, though.”

His cheeks are bright red, and suddenly it’s difficult to sit so close to you. His silence scares you, and you’re scared he might spill tea that isn’t meant to be spilled.

“Swear you won’t tell.”

“Who would I tell?” He asks, turning his head to face you.

“Your friend Hange and the people at work. Please don’t tell them, Levi. It’s embarrassing.” You hide your face behind his shoulder. “Swear.”

“Okay, I won’t tell anyone. I swear.”

You come out of hiding and kiss his cheek multiple times, a surprise that spreads fire to his whole body.

“I like you a lot. I’ve been dying to do this since…” you hiccup. “I don’t remember, but it’s a really long time,” you slur as you hop onto his lap, holding his face in your hands as you pepper more kisses all over it.

‘It’s just kisses,’ Levi thinks to himself. If it goes further, he’ll put an end to it.

“Your hair is so soft,” you say, twirling a strand between your fingers. You sigh, your breath bringing goosebumps to his skin. Something must have disappointed you, because you stopped immediately and put your face in his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Levi asks, looking down at you. He’s hesitant, but eventually he puts a hand on your head, smoothing down some ruffled parts of your hair.

“I-I don’t want to say it. It’s embarrassing,” you speak into his shoulder.

“You said i’m your only friend. That means you should be able to tell me anything.”

You hum in agreement, lifting your head to face him once again. You pull the straps of your dress down, revealing your bare shoulders. You can’t look at him as you do it, so you look at the wall behind him.

“I-I want you to take me to the bedroom, Levi.” You lower the bust of your dress, exposing the matching red strapless bra you’re wearing.

He wants this so badly. He hasn’t wanted anything as much as he wants you, in so long.

“How about we get ready to sleep?” He pulls your dress back up, sliding your arms back into the straps.

“But Levi, I need you.” You squeeze his waist with your thighs.

“You need to sleep it off is what you need,” he says, holding onto the bottom of your dress so it doesn’t ride up when he carries you to the extra room.

“Okay, maybe next time,” you mumble, wrapping your arms around his neck and laying your head on his shoulder as he stands up. He carries you as if you weigh no more than a feather. He can hear what sounds like quiet snores coming from you before you even make it to the room. He flicks the light switch on with his back, before moving towards the bed. He lays you down on the comfy bed, but you refuse to let go of him. Your arms stay wrapped around his neck tightly.

“You wouldn’t let me sleep alone in here, would you?” You mumble, your eyes still closed.

“I think it would be inappropriate if I stayed,” he whispers as he unlinks your arms from his neck. He straightens his posture, looking down into your barely open eyes.

“Levi, stay,” you whine, reaching your arms towards him slowly like a sloth. “You have my consent, look.” You put a thumbs up and grin toothily. “You can even bring me a notepad and i’ll sign the legal documents needed for you to sit your ass in that chair.”

If he knew you would be so needy, he wouldn’t have continued to offer you more wine after the third glass. Then again, it was nice to know that you trusted him enough to be around him in this state.

He sighs knowing he’s lost the fight. He won’t lay in bed with you, he’ll just sleep in his home office chair. Before he sits down, he turns you onto your side, and brings the trash can close to the edge of the bed incase you wake up in the middle of the night feeling sick.

“You gonna go to sleep now?” He asks, getting comfortable in the chair.

Your eyes roll as you fight off sleep, but eventually you stop trying to open your eyes. You nod once they finally close, and Levi watches you to make sure you’re asleep for good.

Levi didn’t go to sleep until almost four in the morning because you kept moving onto your back, and every time you did he had to put you back on your side again. You wiggled into a position where you laid flat on your stomach, and Levi decided that he preferred for you to vomit on the bed than to choke on your vomit in your sleep.

You both slept peacefully until seven in the morning, when the alcohol had finally begun to irritate the lining of you stomach. Your cheeks felt hot, and you felt uncomfortable in every position you laid in. You looked over at Levi who had fallen asleep with his cheek resting in his palm. The squish was adorable, but you couldn’t enjoy it due to the discomfort in your guts.

Your stomach gurgled and you decided to make a run for it, almost tripping over the bottom of your dress as you sprinted to the bathroom.

Levi’s eyes snapped open, and he sharply inhaled as he woke up from his light slumber. His head turned rapidly in search of you, and he quickly discovered where you were due to the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut.

“Shit,” he muttered in a gravelly voice. He quickly stands up and traces your steps to meet you behind the bathroom door. He leans against the door, hearing all the upchuck, gagging, and coughing coming from you on the other side. This goes on for a good four minutes. He hears the way you groan after you think you’re done, only for you to gag before spilling your guts into the toilet again.

You spit into the toilet one last time before flushing, whining when you nearly collapse as you attempt to get off the floor. You blow your nose, throwing the evidence away, and immediately go for some water from the sink. You rinse your mouth a few times before actually swallowing some water.

“Are you okay?” Levi asks, his knuckles lightly knocking.

You open the door, startling him a little with your appearance. The beautiful makeup that you stunted the night before was now an enormous mess on your eyelids, waterline, and cheeks. The residue of mascara on your eyelashes left fan shaped marks on the upper part of your cheeks.

“I’m disgusting. D-Don’t ever let me drink like that again,” your eyes gloss over with newly formed tears that eventually slide down your cheeks.

“You’re fine, sweetheart.” Despite the mess of makeup all over your face, and the wet spot of vomit on the front of your dress, Levi still manages to pull you into his embrace. You sob openly, mainly due to the embarrassment of Levi hearing you throw up in his bathroom, and the fact that you smell horrendous, yet Levi still holds you like it doesn’t matter.

“We’re gonna get you cleaned up. You’re gonna shower, and then we’re gonna get that messy makeup off your face.”

You pull away and look up at him, resembling a raccoon with all the dark makeup around your eyes.

“I don’t have clothes to change into,” you nearly start crying again, but Levi prevents it.

“I have clothes you can wear. Wait here.” He leaves you for a few seconds to bring essentials for you. A clean towel, a shirt, and some sweatpants. He also brought you a new bar of soap, assuming you might not want to use the one he’s been using.

“Shower, change, then call me when you’re done. I’ll be in the kitchen making your hangover cure.” He sets everything down on the counter, and leaves you to it.

The warm water feels nice cascading over you despite your body already being uncomfortably warm. You refused to take a cold shower, even if it was probably better for you. The smell of the soap was comforting and it didn’t make you nauseous as you lathered it onto your body. You used it generously—the thought of having puke on your dress earlier was even more repulsing now. You examined the bottle of shampoo sitting on the shower caddy and reached for it to wash your hair. You hope your hair turns out as soft as Levi’s on the first use.

You finished up in the bathroom and called Levi as told. He was quick to follow your voice. You stood at the entrance of the door, holding the door in one hand, the other holding onto the doorframe. You looked adorable in his clothes, even with the heavy traces of makeup under your eyes.

“Let me help you take the makeup off. Sit on the counter.” He opens the bottom cabinets, crouching down to get some wipes. “I know they’re not as good as the ones you probably have, but they’ll do the job.” He stands up again, closing the cabinets. You’re already sitting on the counter.

“I’m sorry…” you say almost inaudibly. You don’t want to cry again, but damn, you feel pathetic.

He’s listening, so he doesn’t say anything. He pulls a wipe from the pack, wrapping it around his index finger to be able to clean with more precision.

“You did nothing wrong. It’s fine. Now stay still.” He gets closer, the wet towel inching towards your face until the coldness touches you. He wipes gently to make sure your skin doesn’t get irritated.

“I’m never drinking again. I’m never leaving my house again,” you babble.

“You still have to go to work. Again, stop moving.” He folds the towel, covering the dark makeup residing on it. The darkness around your left eye had been completely removed.

The coldness touches your face again, this time beneath your right eye.

“I don’t deserve your friendship, Levi. I don’t know how I can still face you after what happened last night. Why are you even my friend?” Your head slumps as your pessimistic mind takes over.

He raises your head and holds the bottom of your face, your cheeks squished between his thumb and the rest of his fingers in a semi firm grip. He wipes at the splotchiness around your left eye, total concentration taking over because he’s trying to avoid your eyeball.

“I told you to stop moving, but you wouldn’t listen so this is what it had to come to.” His focus remains on your right eye as he speaks, collecting all the color onto the clean part of the wipe. “I want you to know that I invited you out because I wanted to. I knew there was a chance something like this would happen, but I still wanted you to be here.” He moves back a little to see if you had any stains from the makeup.

“You throwing up in my bathroom doesn’t change the meaningful conversations we had yesterday.” He releases the hold be has on your face and throws the wipe away once he’s all done. “I would go through all of this again if it meant you would keep hanging out with me.” His hands lay on the counter beside your legs.

“All done. You’re back,” he says looking into your tired eyes. You look back into his eyes, and they look just as tired, maybe even more. He looks handsome even with his disheveled appearance. His soft hair sticks out at random parts of his head, resembling the sun.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you mumble, looking away.

“Like what?” His tone is soft, and it runs smoothly. He leans in a little, just enough to see the blush rising on your cheeks closely.

“Like that, so attentively with those eyes. You’re making me nervous.” You feel trapped by him. His hands have yet to move from their position beside you legs, and you feel the urge to move. You don’t want to accidentally brush your leg against his hand, it would make the situation awkward.

“It’s not my fault you can’t hold eye contact with me.” There’s a small grin on his lips. “Now, come on. Your hangover medicine is sitting on the table.” He backs up, allowing you to hop off the counter.

You follow him into the kitchen where you see the two unwashed glasses that held wine the night prior, in the sink.

“What a way to start off the morning, huh?” You joke, attempting to make small talk after what happened in the bathroom.

“I’ve seen worse.” He pours some tea into a mug and hands it off to you. “This stuff is way better than that premium crap at the shop.” He pours some for himself in another mug.

“But I don’t like tea. Do you have any coffee?” You take a whiff of the hot liquid in your cup. It smells good, and you decide you can’t knock it ‘til you try it.

“The tea is gonna help your headache, whether you like it or not. And no, I don’t have coffee.”

You take a sip, and scorch your tongue in the process. Your eyes water for a second, but now that you know how hot it is, you can take another sip knowing what to expect.

“It’s actually really good. Thank you, Levi.”

—

Levi took you home a few hours later when you felt better. You said you had things to do at your house, but in reality you just wanted to sleep in your own bed again. You wanted to feel comfortable with knocking things over, knowing they were yours.

Levi checked in every hour, and reminded you that if you needed anything he would get it for you. At some point in the afternoon, you knocked out and didn’t wake up until twelve in the morning. You checked the few messages that Levi left when you told him you were gonna take a nap, and then went right back to sleep.

—

You couldn’t stop thinking about your time with Levi as you made your way through the main entrance of your work building, carrying some folders in one hand, and a cup of coffee in the other. It’s seven in the morning. You need some form of caffeine pumping in your veins if you’re going to function even remotely.

You step into the elevator, back against the wall as you wait for the doors to close.

“Good morning,” a familiar voice says, breaking the silence you reserved. The doors shut a few seconds after he enters the elevator.

“Oh, good morning, Levi,” sleep treads lightly on your voice. You restrain from taking another sip of coffee on the elevator to avoid him smelling your coffee breath.

“Don’t tell me you just woke up.” The elevator dings as you reach your floor.

“Would that disappoint you?” You ask, a playful smile on your face.

“Very much.” He lets you step off first, following behind you.

“Well, that’s too bad. Not everyone can wake up at three in the morning every day like you.” You chuckle, waving as you head into your office.

He peeks his head into your office just to take the final word from you.

“For the record, it’s two thirty, not three in the morning,” he says in a jokingly matter-of-fact way, before walking to his office next door.

You giggle as you set your stuff down onto your desk. Your joyous energy leaves when you load up the work you have to do on your computer. There are so many reports that need to be filed by the end of the day, and you’re actually scared that you might have to take your break later in order to make a dent in the workload. You sigh, sitting down in your office chair. You realize there’s no point in just sitting there and sulking, so you roll closer to the desk and begin typing and clicking away.

At around twelve you get an email from Erwin, the department manager that says:

Hello _____,

Today I will have to leave work a little earlier than usual, as I am meeting my in-laws for lunch with my wife. They flew a couple thousand miles to meet with me and my wife today and I will not be able to finish the work I have pending for today.

Would you do me the biggest favor and finish whatever I don’t get to by the time I leave? It would mean a lot.

Thank you,

Erwin Smith

You shut your eyes tightly and think about how easy it would be to run out of the building and drive home, but instead of doing so, you reply to Erwin’s email.

Hi Erwin,

Hope all is well with your wife and the in-laws.

No worries, you can leave the remainder of your unfinished work to me and I will get it done. I will have to take a later lunch than usual because I have a lot of work to get done as well, but you can definitely count on me to finish the job.

Best of luck,

_______

You felt like bashing your head on the keyboard, but nonetheless, you continued to work through your weariness.

—

“Hey, by any chance are you taking your lunch anytime soon?” Levi asks, leaning on the doorframe of your office.

“Nope. I have so much work to do, it’s hilarious.” You don’t even take the time to turn and face him.

“You don’t seem to be laughing. Is there anything I can help you with?” He stands behind your chair, looking at all the reports you had to finish by the end of the day. “Hey, aren’t those Erwin’s reports? Why the hell are you doing his work again?” He moves over, standing next to you so he can see the screen more clearly.

“He has this lunch to go to with his wife and her parents. It’s not like I was gonna leave work early today, anyway.” Your typing was flawless, almost robotic. No typos or extra spaces, not a capital letter or punctuation mark out of place. “It’s fine, Levi. Are you going on your break?”

“I was going to, but you’re still working like a maniac. I’ll just wait for you.”

“No, it’s okay. Go take your break. You must be exhausted. I’ll buy you a cup of tea later if you go on your break now.” Your eyes scan the large lettering as you speak like your sentences have been pre-recorded so that you can say them while you work.

“Fine. I’ll take my break in here.” He sits in one of the extra chairs in your room.

“But Levi, I need to focus.”

“I won’t say a word to you. I’m just sitting here.”

You give in and let him stay while you work, and he stays true to his word. Not a word is said during his break, but you can feel him staring at you, and it makes doing your work just a little harder. You make more mistakes in your typing, and you can hear him ‘tch’ every time he hears you tap the backspace key repeatedly.

When his break is up, he puts a hand on your head before he goes back to his office. The endearing gesture made surprise goosebumps rise on your arms.

—

You finished all the work you had to do in record time. Erwin’s work was your top priority so you finished it first, then you finished your work. You didn’t get to take a break, but you did get some overtime in. Hopefully, Erwin is okay with it.

You turn off the computer and grab all your possessions before leaving the office for the day. Levi is waiting for you around the corner.

“All done?” He asks when you shut the door to your office.

“Yeah. I’m tired as fuck.” You chuckle at his wide-eyed expression. “Sorry. I’m really tired is what I meant to say.”

“We’re both adults. You can mean what you say.” He offered to carry your bag as well as your folders, and you let him. “What do you need, right now?” He asks as you walk side by side to the elevator.

“Rest,” you reply instantly.

“Okay, let’s get you home.”

“Let’s?” You question.

“I’ll drive you home, and once you wake up i’ll drive you back here so you can get your car.”

“That’s not necessary. You really don’t have to, Levi,” you insist. You enter the elevator and Levi follows after you.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I really appreciate you. Thank you for your kindness.”

—

He brought you home, and you invited him in because you thought it was the polite thing to do after everything he’s done for you.

“You’re welcome to anything that’s in the cabinets or the fridge, or just take anything you like.”

Levi was in awe at how organized your cabinets were. The truth was that you had organized them the day before, before you went to sleep, because when you laid down to sleep, the guilt of lying to Levi was eating you alive. You told him you had things to do at your house, and yet you were just about ready to knock out on your bed.

“I’m okay, but thank you.” He goes back into the living room with you.

“Come hang out with me in my room?”

He looked like you asked him to steal the Mona Lisa—confused, conflicted, unsure if he would go that far even if you were the one asking.

“Okay,” he finally says a few seconds later.

He follows your lead as you direct yourself towards your room. As soon as you are within reach of your bed, you toss yourself on it, spreading your limbs like a starfish.

“You’re welcome to join me,” your words are muffled by the pillows.

“I don’t think there’s any room there for me,” he mumbles as he searches for a small area to sit, where he won’t interrupt your starfish pose.

“Sorry, let me just…” you reposition yourself. You’re now on your side, curled up. “You can lay there.” You point to space next to you.

Levi lays down on his side, facing you. He doesn’t know if this is overstepping boundaries with you, but it feels nice.

“I’m sorry I don’t have an extra room like you do.”

His eyebrows furrow, displeased with your apology.

“Don’t apologize for something so unimportant.”

“Are you uncomfortable? I can sit on a chair if you want-“

His hand lands on your shoulder, immediately silencing you.

“I’m fine. You don’t have to go anywhere. Let’s just lay here together.”

You blushed furiously at how romantic the words sounded. If you were smarter you wouldn’t have gone for the kiss and your relationship would have kept its romantic and sexual tension, but you couldn’t take it anymore. You, the one who avoided love at all costs, were the first to admit you wanted to love Levi.

His heart raced as if he ran every day of his life, just to meet you here, in this moment. He pulled you onto his lap, your position exactly like the night he invited you over, only this time you were in total control of your actions.

His hand on your hip, his fingers threaded in your hair—it was the proof that let you know he wanted this just as much as you. It may have been wrong to just spring this on him, but if it wasn’t a moment for now, then it would be a moment for later, which sounded like forever in your mind.

You pull away to see the reaction behind all of this. His heart is uncontrollable. He can’t calm it down, and he can barely hear his own thoughts with the way his heart beats in his ears.

“That’s how I feel. How do you feel?” You ask, staring into the storm residing in his grey eyes.

He leans forward to reach your lips, luring you back to him. His hands now hold your waist, occasionally squeezing to ground him when his soul threatens to vanish from being there with you. His lips chase yours endlessly, and you hate remembering that you need to breathe in order to stay alive, because you love the intimacy of kissing. It gives you uncontrollable butterflies that you refuse to tame because you continue to do the thing that sets them free.

This time he releases you, taking in the dazed expression on your face.

“That’s how I feel.”

You both stare at each other like a new world has been introduced, and you’re waiting for each other’s approval to go in together.

“I want you, Levi. Make me yours.” It’s your sugarcoated, romanticized way of saying ‘claim me because I don’t want anyone else to do it’.

“You want me to…” his ears go red. He’s scared to assume you want him sexually, so he waits for you to specify.

“Make love to me?” You say in the form of a question. You cringe internally, but you think it matches the moment better than saying ‘fuck me’.

“M-Make love to you?” He repeats, flustered by the request.

“Please,” you say with false confidence. You can tell he’s nervous, and you know you’re nervous, so you have to show him as much fake confidence as you can muster if you want to progress with him.

“Let’s take it slow. Nobody is leading, and we’re gonna roll with however things go.” You put your hand on his shoulder, an attempt to calm him. “Does that sound okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees.

“O-Okay?” Your veil of confidence collapses after your last statement, and you go back to being putty in Levi’s hold when he pulls you down onto the bed with him. There’s no way he’ll abide to your ‘nobody is leading’ statement. He’s a natural leader, and regardless of how nervous he is, he will take total responsibility for the way he makes you feel.

You still jump a little when his hands meet the warm skin of your cheeks and stay there, but nonetheless, you like it. The touch feels familiar even if he’s never touched you like this before.

He takes his hands off your face and begins unbuttoning his shirt. Little by little, you begin to see pale patches of skin from his chest and stomach. You nearly panic when the whole shirt comes off, and reveals toned parts of his torso. You strongly believe he was sculpted by some artistically driven gods.

You’re wonderstruck, and even if he doesn’t know it, he’s ruined men for you in a way only you can understand.

“I’m not that striking,” he says, a blush rising to his cheeks. You can now see that the color doesn’t start on his cheeks, but on his chest.

“I don’t even know what to say.” You’re smitten, and it was over for you the second his lips merged with yours. You played yourself by starting this, but there’s no way in hell you’ll go back to depriving yourself of him.

“Then don’t say anything.” He goes down to meet your lips again, his body feeling hot when you reach up to touch him. Physical affection is rare for Levi, and nobody has touched him like this in a long time, so deep down he’s really happy you’re the one he’s sharing a bed with. You don’t feel obligated to shed layers of clothing for him. He’s content with just having you, and though he would never admit it, knowing you had no words to describe the sight of him without a shirt was a major boost to his self confidence.

You reach down to untuck your shirt from your pants and begin unbuttoning it. Levi only noticed this because your hands weren’t running all over his body anymore, and he wanted you to keep touching him.

He almost chokes on his spit once your shirt is open, the loose halves laying next to each corresponding side of you. You picked the perfect day to match your lingerie. You donned a lacy black bra with panties that Levi had yet to see.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, scanning every inch of you that is now revealed.

“You think so?” Your cheeks glow like you’re surrounded by Christmas lights.

“I do,” the last words he says before he snatches your lips up again. Strands of his hair brush your face, tickling your nose and cheeks. You don’t think there should be a time limit for how long a make out session goes on for. It gives you an otherworldly feeling when Levi’s lips lock with yours. To say it’s electrifying would be a dulled down version of what you really feel.

The pace picks up suddenly, and your heart drops to your stomach. His hands hold your waist firmly, and your lips struggle to keep up with his. You don’t think you’re imagining the panting sounds coming from him as he kisses you with a fervor that can’t be pacified.

“Mmm…fuck,” he almost growls. “How are you able to make me feel this way?” He looks drunk on your affection.

You had an effect on him. The sweet, composed, professional Levi you knew as your best friend, was now bound to you.

He presses his nose to the column of your throat where he leaves so many kisses. His mouth ghosts over your chest, an occasional brush of his lips to your skin as he lowers down to your stomach. It’s such an intimate gesture filled with sincerity that does nothing but intensify the thrashing in your chest.

His hands wander, bringing goosebumps wherever they move. You see the way he looks at you—like he would devour you if this weren’t the first time he was bedding you. His eyes are so cold you think your gaze is frozen to his.

“Should I keep going?” His indirect way of asking for your consent again, even if you were the one who asked for this. You take the hint when you feel him tugging lightly at your pants. You respond by unbuttoning your trousers, shimmying them down your hips. He helps you get them completely off when they reach your thighs.

The black on black bra and panties combination… Something flipped in his head because for a few seconds his eyes just flicked up and down between the two areas. To capture this untainted sight of you for a few more seconds was all he wanted, because he knew that you wouldn’t look like this again for the rest of the night.

His hands roam around your body—running over your waist, then trailing down to your hips, which leads to them slithering down your thighs.

“Is that…” he points at the gusset of your panties, a darker spot contrasting the rest of the garment. It’s only noticeable because he’s so close. “Is that what I think it is?”

“U-Um…” you divert your attention from him. Your cheeks feel hot again.

“You’re so excited, yet we haven’t even done that much.” His hands splay on your thighs, spreading your legs as wide as you can comfortably have them. “Now I know what kissing does to you,” he says as he proceeds to kiss your inner thighs.

You inhale sharply, your stomach quivering a little.

“May I?” His hand nears your clothed cunt, centimeters away from the wet spot.

“Okay,” you simply say. Any more words and you’ll stutter up a storm.

Your heart might leap out of your chest with that gaze of his. His pupils are enormous, the lust almost blocking all the color in his eyes.

“I hope you don’t mind if I take it slow. I want to make you come once through your panties, and another time without them.”

Come? Panties? Another time without panties? It’s so strange hearing these words from someone who’s been just a friend for years. It’s strange hearing the words from Levi in general.

“O-Okay,” you stutter this time.

“Good.” His fingers finally make contact with the fabric of your panties, a circular motion stimulating your cunt. He can feel the wetness of your slick on his fingertips, the amount increasing with each pressurized rub.

Your arm comes up to cover your eyes, embarrassment flooding through you as Levi spectates you.

“Let me see your pretty face, please.” His voice is so commanding, you don’t think you can deny him of the things he asks of you.

Your forearm shakily raises off of your face, dropping down onto the mattress. He can now see the effectiveness of his fingers, on your expression. Your mouth is slightly open, your eyes begging for more from him. The whole thing makes the hardness in his pants twitch.

“Is this what you wanted?” He teases, knowing your words won’t beat the moans leaving your mouth.

“Mhm,” you whimper. “Please…please.”

“Didn’t think I would have you begging so fast.” He leans forward a little to whisper the second part in your ear. “That’s good, sweetheart. Keep doing it.”

You nearly lost it when he kissed the area below your ear right after.

“Levi… Levi, more please.” You can’t stand that look on his face as he continues to torture you. His teeth occasionally sink into his bottom lip. There’s so much lust behind the expression, that you’re actually nervous for what will happen to you after he makes you come the first time.

Your moans become more frequent, and you can feel that familiar heat in your core. You don’t remember ever touching yourself in a manner that made you feel this way, and he isn’t even touching your bare cunt.

“Oh, already?” He goes down your body, stopping at the elastic band of your panties and scattering kisses on the skin above it.

“Fucking—oh god—Levi,” you say, breathlessly. Your hands go to the back of his head and you tug his hair with unmeasured strength. He can handle the discomfort for as long as you provide it, and he won’t complain about something that makes his cock twitch. Your thighs shut around his hand, and you grind your cunt against it. It’s humiliating when he raises his gaze to watch you as you take control of your pleasure. At this point, you’re doing most of the movement, rolling your hips against the cupped form of his fingers.

“There you go,” he murmurs. He loves watching the way your chest heaves and hearing the cries of his name. The racing of your heartbeat is indomitable, you swear Levi can hear it over your breathing.

After a few minutes of catching your breath, you look down at Levi who’s mesmerized by the dazed look you give him.

“That was taking it slow?”

“Mhm. I didn’t know you were so sensitive.” His hand brushes your thigh in a comforting manner. It triggers goosebumps in the area which brings a sly grin to his face.

“Excuse me? Your pants have a little something on them. Now let’s talk sensitivity.” You raise your arms, stretching your taut muscles, a strained groan leaving you as your muscles were freed of their tension.

You didn’t catch the way his eyes sparkled when you bit back, but in that moment, he knew you could handle his snarky remarks at all times and put him in his place when necessary. That was definitely a turn on.

“Please tell me you’re ready to go again.”

You laugh through your nose.

“You want me?” You tease. A gear rotated in your head, and you suddenly remembered something from the night he cooked for you.

“Yes. So badly,” he says.

There’s a wicked grin on your face. You sit up, leveling yourself on the bed with him.

“How about you show me that patience of yours I was promised.”

His head visibly tilted in confusion. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen him do.

“Let’s switch positions. Lay here where I am, and i’ll take your spot.”

“Okay,” he says, seemingly understanding so far what you said. He crawls over to where you sat and lays down, and you sit in the spot he previously sat in.

“Care to explain what’s about to happen?” His head rests on his folded arms.

The act is so sudden, so quick that his arms fly out from underneath his head to hold onto your hips. You straddle his hips, your legs on either side.

“Uh… u-um… what are you doing?” He swallowed thickly, trying not to let the brush of your cunt against his crotch unravel him.

“I think you deserve be taken care of, too, Levi.” You unclip your bra, sliding the straps off your arms before throwing it to a corner in your room. Your breasts are definitely a sight for him, a sight he isn’t sure he can look at without your permission, so he holds eye contact with you.

You lean forward, covering his chest with kisses. You can see the way the area turns red upon contact with your lips, like your touch sets him on fire. Your lips maneuver around his upper body, trailing up from his chest to his neck and the curvature of his jawline. He almost freezes when he feels your breasts against his chest. You cup his cheeks, looking into his enamored eyes before kissing his lips.

“Do you think you can handle what i’m about to do?” You press your forehead to his, looking into those fascinating eyes of his.

“I think so.” His hands ride up and down your sides, nearly touching the sides of your breasts.

“Good boy.”

His brain felt fuzzy when you said the words. It’s something he’s never experienced before when hearing them. You seemed to have reinvented the meaning behind the words when you used them in this scenario.

There you went again, going down his body, kissing everywhere you could. You discovered areas where he was sensitive, such as his ribs and the area beneath his navel. He gasped or shuddered every time you licked or sucked the skin in those areas.

“May I?” You ask, hooking a finger around one of his belt loops.

“Do whatever you want to me.” His hands go down to assist you in unbuttoning his pants, lifting his hips just enough to lower them until you could pull them off. He sported some dark blue boxer briefs, his erect cock forming a very noticeable tent. You now saw the large spot of pre-cum that had ruined his pants, on the blue garment.

Your hand wraps around the silhouette of his cock, the wet fabric wrinkling as your hand moves up and down. You see the vein in his neck pop out and the way his stomach tenses. You don’t need vocal proof of the way he feels because you can see it, but he still gives it to you anyway, and it just brings that much more excitement to you.

His breath is shaky as you rub his tip with your thumb, the fabric of his undergarment absorbing every drop of his pre-cum.

“You’re really pretty, Levi. I know that probably doesn’t say much for you, but i’m looking at you right now, and…” you sigh, completely astonished by him. To see someone like Levi with his walls completely torn down was beautiful. He’s tough. Not with you, obviously, but things don’t get to him so easily. To think that you were able to get him in a vulnerable position like this… He must really like you.

“You know, I really like you,” your hand speeds up a little. “I’m gonna be honest with you…I lived an enormous lie for what felt like an eternity. I tried to see you as a friend for so long. So long. But, sir, you made it impossible, because you never treated me like a friend.”

He shudders, his cock twitching beneath your grasp. You lean down to kiss his clothed tip. His mouth gapes slightly, his eyebrows creasing the slightest bit when it slowly disappears into your mouth.

“F-Fuck. You’re kidding,” he mutters under his breath. Your eyes look wild. It seems like you’ll have to hold onto his soul for a few minutes, because he’s floating.

The shape of his tip is completely outlined now, your saliva darkening the fabric of his briefs. Even the slightest brush of your fingers against his length has him shaking.

“Give it to me, baby. You’ve got it,” you say, encouraging him to let loose. Your hand speeds up a little more, and before you know it, Levi lets out a whimper and some grunts as he leaves yet another damp spot on his briefs.

“F-Fuck—a-ah—oh my…” he sits up halfway before you push him back down. His eyes shut tightly and you can see the protruding shape of his ribs with every breath of his as you continue to jerk him into overstimulation.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you murmur, your hand stopping when you see him writhing.

You giggle, watching as he catches his breath.

“Was that okay? I know it would have been better if I had actually touched…it. I just wanted to do something similar to what you did.”

“Don’t worry,” he sighs heavily. “It was perfect.”

You blush, watching as he fulfills his task of fully sitting up. You can clearly see the layer of sweat on his skin now. It gives him an ethereal-like glow.

“Are we gonna actually, you know… today?” You ask when he doesn’t say anything. He just looked into your eyes for a few seconds.

“I’ll do anything you want me to do. Do you want to?”

It feels wrong to want more, but you do want more of him. You want to feel him close to you. Right up against you, meshing into your skin, or just pressed against you as close as possible.

“I want you so fucking badly,” you chuckle. It’s almost pathetic how much you want him.

He tucks a damp strand of hair behind your ear, softening the intensity of your gaze on him.

“You can have me, just sit on my lap.” His eyes look down at your breasts, watching the way they move when you breathe. You smile, holding in a laugh when he looks back at you with a flustered expression. “You can hold them if you want,” you position yourself between his legs, your back to his chest. “None of this…” you grab ahold of his hands and drag them down your body. “…is off limits. Touch as you please.”

He hums, content with having you so near. You release his hands, allowing them to roam freely. The first thing he does is roll the elastic band of your panties down. You lift yourself a little, allowing him to roll the garment below your thighs. You kick them off your legs, and wait for Levi to finish getting his briefs off. You turn around, immediately looking down. A quiet gasp escapes you before you quickly face straight ahead again. He’s big.

“Say the word, and we can get started,” He mumbles into your shoulder. One of his hands reaches for your breast, the other slides down to your cunt. He toys with your clit, rubbing it just the slightest bit with his middle finger. He lures a breathy moan out of you, your decision being made quickly after.

“O-Okay, okay,” you breathe.

“Ready now?” His voice goes deeper, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

“Mhm,” you hum, rising up just the slightest to settle onto his lap.

“Easy,” he murmurs, wrapping an arm around your waist. “W-Wait. Not so fast,” he groans, as his tip nudges through your folds, the cockhead sliding into your messy hole while you sink down as slowly as you can.

Your moans are synchronized once he’s in all the way. You can feel his warmth inside you, twitching, even with your idleness. He lays his forehead on your upper back, soft wisps of his hair tickling your skin. Soft, warm breaths make their way onto the tippy top of your spine.

“F-Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. You lean back against him, your head on his shoulder. Your eyes shut tightly, your mouth gaped open once he starts moving beneath you.

“W-We’re friends, right?” You have an obvious amount of difficulty keeping your voice steady. Gasps, and random pauses litter your sentences every time Levi pushes in and out of you. His hands were cupped around your breasts, your nipples wedged between his index and middle fingers. Your heart dropped every time you remembered that he bought you coffee as a friend two days ago, and now he’s taking charge of you in your own bed.

“Sure. What’s on y-your—hah—your m-mind?” His lips attach to your shoulder, sucking an intense mark onto the clear patch of skin, like he’s trying to draw blood. You wince, your back arching a little.

“This is the only way you’ll picture me after today, isn’t it?” Your eyes roll as his lips brush over your shoulders and nape for areas to leave more marks on. You hear the quick breaths that leave his nose and the sound of his lips slipping against your bruised skin. It’s a good way of not answering the question that’s eating away at you.

“Would that be okay with you?” He finally whispers into your ear, a slight rasp in his voice.

“Oh, fucking hell, Levi,” your hands find his thighs, your nails sinking into the pale skin, leaving red lines as you draw your fingers in close like you’re fisting sheets. “I—mm…You— Fuck!” You cry out impatiently, unable to form a proper thought, completely flustered due to how fucking attractive that simple gesture was.

A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest. It’s like he’s taunting you.

“I’ve pictured you in so many different ways. This is definitely one of them, but not the only one,” he clarifies. A sweet kiss is pressed into the side of your neck. “You don’t have to worry about that ever. Understand?”

“Mhm…” you hum, lost in the way his cock prods so deeply inside you.

“Use your words, sweetheart. I don’t know what that response means,” he teases. One of his hands releases your breast, dropping down to play with your clit. You nearly fold in pleasure, leaning forward the smallest amount before Levi’s arm drapes over your chest, pinning your back to his chest. “I need you here with me. Now give me your words,” his finger rubs the tiny bud lightly, just enough to make you writhe in his lap from the pleasure.

“I—fuck—I understand, Levi. I understand,” you cry out, your eyes tearing up due to the way he holds you so close the edge. It’s not enough pressure, and he knows it, but he likes the tone in your voice, and he wants to hear it for just a tad bit longer.

“Do you now?” He hums, followed by a breathy ‘ah’.

“I do,” tears nearly flow out of your eyes. “Please, Levi. Need more of you,” you plead.

His pace doesn’t speed up, but his thrusts are stronger now. Your pussy flutters around him, the intensity of your arousal almost completely unbearable. His finger brushes your clit in a tedious manner. It has you trembling on top of him.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. The clenching of your pussy has his cock in such a tight hold—so snug inside your velvety walls. You breathe heavily, unable to stay still on his lap anymore. You’re now chasing his thrusts, meeting them halfway to strengthen the pleasure derived from Levi.

“Fuck! Please, please, please! Please, Levi!” You gasp, heaving every time you inhale. The knot inside you is on the brink of snapping in one of the most concentrated ways you’ve ever felt. Levi was close, too. His cock pulsated with every one of his thrusts, and every time your pussy clenched, it just inched him closer to his end.

He succumbed to your cries of his name, your trembling form now shaking in rhythm with his powerful thrusts.

Choked sounds, breathy mutterings of each others names, whimpers, and cries of passion filled the room.

“Levi! Oh god, oh fuck!” The final words leave you before an overwhelming tidal wave of pleasure consumes your whole self. You’ve never felt pleasure from suffocation, but Levi was almost inhaling you from how close he was, and you didn’t want him to back off. His arms held your writhing, trembling frame tightly against him, while he whispered things into your ear.

His hips continued to roll just a little slower, just enough to bring him right to the edge. Drool coated your lips, threatening to slide down your chin. You could feel almost every part of him on you—his arms, his legs, his chest, his abs, his lips. Being trapped by him was endearing.

“Fuck… keep doing that. D-Do that again, please,” he moans, breathing against the shell of your ear. You clenched around him again, and audibly heard him go weak. His shuddered breaths and strangled groans were the sexiest things you had ever heard. He painted your walls white, the feeling so immense that he clawed at your chest, leaving red streaks on the clean area of your chest. He whimpered out so many sorry’s, not stopping the roll of his hips until the overstimulation was too much.

You stayed in that position for a while once he came down from his high. He held you tightly, his head laying on your back. His warm cheek rested on your spine as he looked at the closed door of your bedroom. The long silence was broken by the sound of you sighing.

“We’re friends, right?” You ask the same question from earlier. Maybe his answer will be different now that he’s not as distracted.

He did take a little longer to answer than before. “We’re not like them,” he finally mumbles against your skin.

“Like who?” You question.

“Like those stupid people that do the whole friends with benefits bit. Tell me we aren’t them.” His postures straightens, and he pulls you close again, not holding you too tight, just allowing you to lay on his chest.

“We’re not them. This was… a one time thing. Right?”

“I don’t like that.” He moves the hair away from your face and plants a kiss on your forehead.

Your eyes flutter shut, and a lazy grin appears on your lips.

“Let’s talk about this some other time. For now, we’re friends.” You break free of his hold and get off of him. You search for your clothes scattered across your room.

“I should probably get going. I really need to shower.” He picks his clothes off of the edge of the bed, putting everything back on.

“If only I had clothes you could wear. I would’ve loved to have you over for the night,” you say, feeling guilty once again for not being as hospitable as Levi. “I’m sor—”

“Don’t do that. Don’t apologize for dumb things like clothes, or the amount of rooms in your house.” He sits on the edge of the bed, slipping back into his trousers. “There’s always next time.”

‘This is a one time thing.’ Yeah, right.

“Well…” he exhales, running a hand through his damp, disheveled hair. “I’m gonna go. Thanks for…”

You suck in your lips, suppressing laughter at his inability to say what you both just did.

“Thanks for having me,” he finally manages to utter.

You simply nod in acknowledgment, a smile gracing your features.

“Get home safe, Levi.”

“I’ll call you.”

And call you he did. The phone call could’ve been shorter. A simple ‘I’m home. I’ll see you at work,’ would have sufficed, but it’s like he needed to have some sort of connection to you. He spent a good portion of the phone call asking about how you were feeling physically. He didn’t go any deeper than that, not wanting to put any pressure on whatever you and him were.

He did something spontaneous and didn’t know how to react as soon as it happened, so he hung up immediately. He said ‘Goodnight. Love you,’ the last two words so quiet that you didn’t even hear them through the thin layer of static on the line. And that’s why you were so confused when the dial tone sounded in your ear. You thought the call ended due to bad reception, and expected him to call back, but he didn’t.

—

The next day was no different from any other day. Levi greeted you on the elevator, and acted as he usually did. There was nothing strange in your relationship according to the way he acted, or the way he talked to you. It was like the day before never happened.

“See you at lunchtime?” He says, stopping at the entrance to your office.

“Sure,” you say, unpacking your things. “I’ll have time for you today.”

“Good. See you then.” He turns and leaves your sight, heading into his own office.

You power through your work, making as much time as you can for Levi. He never left your mind as you read all those emails mindlessly. You were a zombie, the feeling of his hands roaming your body was engraved into your memory. It made you zone out a lot, the memory rolling in your mind so vividly because it was literally yesterday.

Your heart begins to race, at the sound of him calling your name. So desperate and needy, so unlike the Levi you knew before.

“Hello? Are you there?” Levi says, tapping your shoulder. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Huh? Oh, Levi. What are you doing here?” You check the time on the corner of your computer screen. “Shit, it’s already two thirty.”

“Right. Lunchtime,” he says, focused on your blank expression.

“Okay, yeah. What do you want to do?”

Not much besides kiss you, hold you, and more.

“Are you hungry?” He sits in the chair behind you, folding his hands on the table.

“Not really. Are you?” You rotate your chair to face him. Those eyes are intimidating every time you look at them, now. His gaze feels more intimate.

“Not at all.”

“Any other suggestions?”

He swallows every ounce of fear he feels, and prepares himself mentally for how this conversation could end. He could lose you or he could gain more than just your friendship. He can’t gauge which direction he’s leaning towards because you’re both actively ignoring the things that occurred. The things that friends don’t do.

“Let’s talk.”

Your heart sinks to your stomach, your nerves on edge. You wanted this conversation to happen, and now that it’s happening, you want nothing more than to be swallowed by a black hole.

“Okay,” you respond, your hands awkwardly splaying on your thighs.

“Did we overstep any boundaries yesterday?”

You look to your left, the door wide open for your coworkers to see and hear your private conversation. You give Levi one more chance. Maybe he won’t go into detail.

“I didn’t think we would actually act on the sexual tension—”

“Okay, hold on.” You stand up and head towards the door, pushing it shut, and shutting the blinds. “We don’t need any more workplace drama. This is between just you and me,” you say, sighing as you sit down again.

“We’re friends is what you’ve been telling me, and i’m completely fine with that.” The truth hides behind those flimsy words. He would rather destroy his favorite teacup and throw away his entire cabinet of expensive tea than fully accept that you’ll never be more than a friend. “But how will we prevent this from happening again?”

“Easy,” you reply. “It won’t happen again. We hang out at work, and only hang out outside of work when there are others around.”

“That’s an immature way to fix our situation.” He wants all the time with you. No division with others. “We can control ourselves. We don’t need people around to prove that. That’s just…absurd.”

“It’s the best solution. We won’t be tempted to do anything we shouldn’t do. There won’t be any tension. It’ll all work out fine.” You look down at his hands, his knuckles are nearly white.

He chuckles. “God, there is so much tension between us. You can cut it with a fucking knife.”

“I don’t feel it,” you say, averting your gaze immediately.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He grabs onto the seat of your chair, rolling you closer to him. He decides you’re close enough when your knees are brushing his, a nudge with enough force would send his knee between your thighs and vice-versa.

“What are you doing, Levi?” You question, a perplexed look on your face.

“I’m only asking you to do one thing and it’s really simple.”

He leans in, little by little, not close enough to kiss you, but enough to make your heart race when he doesn’t stop until you can see his slate colored eyes up close.

“Keep your eyes on me.”

You do as told, and look straight into his eyes. The intensity makes your head spin. You feel so vulnerable and submissive. You look away for a second, and he clicks his tongue.

“Don’t look away from me,” he instructs. His eyes don’t waver at all. They keep their intensity, and look at you dead on. You’re pretty sure he can hear your heartbeat.

After a minute of silence and staring into his eyes, you made a decision. You didn’t think at all about what you were fighting for and went with what your heart longed for. You cupped his cheeks and crashed your lips onto his. They were as amazing as you remembered, even so, imperfect. It felt right, holding him like that. Your breathing was synchronized, the heavy pants coming from both of you bringing some color to your face.

You pull away looking into his eyes again. There was a major difference. His pupils were huge, and there was a tenderness to his expression. He’s so weak for you.

“Fuck,” he curses. He swipes his bottom lip a few times with his index finger.

“What was the point of that?” Your voice is filled with disappointment.

“It was a test. You failed horrendously.”

“You did that on purpose, Levi. You’re being unfair.” Your eyebrows crease with frustration. “You knew you would get me like that.”

“I thought you were more self-disciplined,” he teases.

“You kissed me back. You should have had the willpower to push me away,” your arms cross in annoyance.

“I didn’t want to.”

You sigh, trying so hard to be mad, but in all your faux anger, you crack a smile that eventually evolves into a giggle.

“We’re so bad at this.” You think quickly, trying to figure out what to say after. “I think the only way to fix something like this is for us to stay apart for a while,” is the only thing that came to mind. You really didn’t think before you spoke, and you didn’t mean it.

His entire demeanor changed. This was the worst idea you had ever come up with, and all he could do was hope you would take it back.

“What do you mean?” He asks, secretly buying time for you to change your mind.

“We can’t be friends right now. It’s not working out like it should.”

“No. We don’t need that. All that would do is make an awkward gap in our friendship. We’re fine, we can handle this like adults.”

You stand up in your chair. “Adults who are old enough to passionately fuck, and kiss, and look at each other with longing stares. Adults can handle things recklessly, too, you know.”

“Where are you going?” He watches you grab your coat, in search of your car keys. You find them, the jingling making them easier to locate when you patted your coat pocket.

“Out,” you respond, pushing your chair under your desk.

“Okay. I’ll be in my office.” He pushes his chair in, following you out the door. You can feel the shift in his mood based on the way he avoids looking at you.

You shut your eyes tightly for a second, silently cursing yourself for having a heart. You pull on the back of his collar, bringing him to a halt. He turns around to face you.

“Fucking hell, let’s go on a date, Levi.”

“What are you saying?” He says, looking around the office to see if anyone heard your announcement. “You’re giving me whiplash with your indecisiveness.”

“It’s now or never.” The ultimatum is weightless— it means nothing because you will forever hold a spot in your heart for Levi.

“Okay.” It was the simplest way to accept your proposal. If you had more time, he would’ve stuttered for you, but you were both on your lunch break.

You both walk to the elevator, hands next to each other, trying not to link. It was like a staticky zap every time you accidentally brushed fingers. Your hands quickly moved away from each other every time it happened. Once the doors shut, Levi pinned you to the back wall of the elevator, and kissed you with so much ardor that you could feel the heat radiating off of his cheeks. You went through that first date with him, nervous throughout the entire thing, but nothing made electricity course through you like that thirty second elevator ride.

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hypmicdaydreams · 1 year

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hi! could i ask for an angst samatoki x f!reader fic about a f!so who struggles with accepting that other people can love her and samatoki ends up yelling at her because he feels underappreciated…but it gets resolved in the end! 😭😭 thank you~~~ please rest well!

Aw, this one was sad, but I did try to give it a comforting ending! Ik you said fic but I ended up writing long hcs so I hope that’s fine anon TT I think I’ve forgotten how to write fics tbh.. still tryna get into the groove of things. But I hope you enjoy this regardless! Hope I was able to do it justice! Ty for the request 💙 you rest well too~

-pairing: samatoki aohitsugi x f!reader

-genre: hurt/comfort

-headcanons

toki absolutely hates the fact that you think you’re incapable of being loved. it irks him so, really

because well, he loves you, and samatoki most certainly isn’t no one

besides, there wasn’t anything he can think of that would make you unloveable! you were strong, bright, pretty, and well, the list goes on and on. it honestly confuses him a lot why you think so, and it annoys him

i mean, you were the love of his life! samatoki wouldn’t have dated you if he hated you

he can’t entirely stand people who wallow on themselves, to be honest. he doesn’t give pity easily, so admittedly, toki does begin getting ticked when you start voicing such thoughts

because first of all, no. you are very much capable of being loved, and samatoki would probably beat anyone up if they said otherwise. he very much needs everyone to appreciate his girl

and secondly, what about him? he loved you. were you doubting him? because samatoki hates that

did he mean nothing to you? all those times he’s cooked you dinner, muttered ‘i love you’s before bed — did they not hold any meaning to you? well, that fucking hurts him so

he loves you a lot. he really does. but god this was so frustrating. he felt so undervalued and under appreciated, as if you couldn’t see how much your boyfriend loved you, what he’d do for you and only you

and well, samatoki isn’t quite good with communication, so the anger definitely builds and it turns into a confrontation more or less

he doesn’t mean to snap — he can never do so with you — but samatoki is hot-tempered. so it inevitably happens one day after a rough day at work and coming home to you. his patience was already thin, and he’s had it by then

why would you even say that?? you can see the hurt in his eyes, how he wears his heart on his sleeve at this very moment. was he not doing enough for you? he already lost nemu; he didn’t want to lose you too, the other important girl to him

it is eye-opening, as frightening as it also was to have your scary boyfriend snap at you (he was something else when pissed, and he never thought you’d be on his bad side, ever)

he was right — he did do a lot for you. everything samatoki did showed how much he loved you. and it’s not as if you didn’t know that, but simply put, anxiety was a bitch

you thought he deserved better, that he’d realize it all one day and just leave. honestly, it was self-perpetuating at this point and hard to break out of — a habit of sorts

but as samatoki just spills himself, how he feels like you can’t see how much he fucking loves you and what he does for you, it does hit you

and even if it simply worsens your anxiety at the moment (it tells you that that’s the exact reason why you’re so unloveable), it does put things into perspective. i mean, samatoki was still with you after all this, and surely that meant he loved you. he wasn’t a man of pity

you do apologize, perhaps getting overwhelmed yourself and explaining all your anxieties and feelings, but samatoki is quick to shut them all down (perhaps in a bit of an overtly aggressive way) and tell you that none of that is true

he loves you a lot, and that was final

samatoki doesn’t get it, but he tries to, to an extent. he doesn’t get your anxieties, and while he tries to be understanding, there’s definitely a limit. he can only do so much before it becomes, well, much

you do have to promise him that you won’t say such things again, that you do realize how much samatoki loves you and how he tries for you

mutter an “i love you too” back at the end of it all though, and samatoki will be content

he’ll sigh and scold you though for saying such stupid shit, but it’s a bit more of a light hearted tone this time

though self-love definitely is a long journey, toki would be by your side, reminding you time and time again how much he loves you

and even if you didn’t love yourself at the current moment, thinking that you were so unloveable, samatoki certainly did. and that would be enough for now

you were loved

#asks #requests #hypmic #samatoki aohitsugi #samatoki x reader #hurt/comfort #female reader #angst #headcanons #rqs are open again btw!!#first rq back!!#also haven’t written for toki in a while so I hope this was fine!!#he’s honestly a bit harder for me and idk why lol

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shadowofchwe · 2 years

Text

tied | joshua hong

You're no stranger to your boyfriend's punishments, but this time he really seems determined to push you to your limits...

👔 Pairing: boyfriend!joshua (darling!joshua) x reader

👔 Word Count: 3.8k

👔 Rating: 18+

👔 Genre: Smut, mainly pwp, some fluff, elements of bdsm, established relationship

👔 Warnings: Explicit language, Shua is pissed and Y/N is in big trouble oof 🤩, harddom!joshua, meandom!joshua, sub!reader, mention of a safeword, hard degradation, dirty talk, praise, brief thigh slapping, sir kink, elements of bondage (hands are bound with Shua's tie), rough manhandling, explicit sexual content, rough fingering, mention of oral (m receiving), looooots of crying, marking, multiple orgasms (f receiving), overstimulation (f receiving), use of a vibrator, brief spitting kink, consent check ins we love to see it 🥹, oral (f receiving), cum eating, unprotected sex (be safe pls), rough sex, ownership/possession kink, brief choking, biting, cum stuffing, in typical Kenz fashion™️ it ends soft 🥺

A/N: Hello! I'm back with more Joshua filth inspired by how much he was absolutely wilding at the New York show this week 🫠 This is the same couple from darling and blind, but it also can be read as a standalone! I hope you enjoy if you decide to check it out 🥰 Especially if Shua's WHO'S BACK/Remember That energy had you just as fucked up as me 🤩 I did have a username change (formerly crushonchwe) cause I wanted to update it to match my other social media handles and also Shadow is like THAT song for me 🥹 Thank you to anyone who decides to check out any of my writing, and for all the love and support on my past fics it really means so much to me 😭💙

Masterlist

“Babe, I’m home!” you called out as you entered your apartment.

The only thing that greeted you back was piercing silence.

“Shua?” you tried again, seeing no sign of him in the kitchen or living room.

Oh thank God.

You had never felt so happy and relieved for your boyfriend to not be home. You made your way to your room before slipping off your shoes in the open doorway. A sigh escaped you as your hand reached up to flip on the lights. You were letting out an exclaim of surprise a moment later as your bedroom illuminated to reveal Joshua sitting back on his hands at the foot of your bed. He was still in his work clothes, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Joshua, shit! I didn’t think you were home, baby. You scared me.” you got out, one hand clutched to your chest as you tried to catch your breath.

He barely regarded you with his gaze, and a chill ran down your spine. Okay, so he was definitely still mad then.

“Baby?” you voiced, making your tone sound extra sweet.

His eyes finally flicked up to meet your own, practically burning a hole straight through you. Your legs trembled slightly, but still he said nothing. Instead, he opted for completely ignoring you as he slowly, deliberately, rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. Your knees wobbled dangerously as he unclasped and removed his watch, just as meticulously.

You opened your mouth to try and speak again, but quickly shut it at the warning flashing in your boyfriend’s eyes. His hands went to the skinny black tie wrapped around his collar before he began swiftly tugging the fabric loose. And still, his face never gave anything away.

You just stood there watching as he carefully slipped the garment over his head, the tie briefly grazing his recently trimmed black locks as he did so. He held it across his lap, hands clutching the material tightly. You swallowed, the sound making him look at you once again. Now you were shaking all over, but an undeniable warmth was also starting to settle deep inside you. A spark that was quickly building to a roaring flame.

“Shua.”

His name fell from your lips as nothing more than a whiny whisper. He exhaled, “Clothes off. On the bed. Now.”

Your thighs instinctually rubbed together as a whimper rumbled in your throat.

“I won’t ask you again. I don’t wanna hear another fucking word, unless you need to use your safeword. Is that understood?” he asked with cool authority, not even bothering to look at you.

You quickly nodded your head even though he couldn’t see it, your hands still noticeably shaking as you began stripping off your clothes. Joshua stood beside the head of the bed, repeatedly running the silk tie between his long, slender fingers. The motion was utterly hypnotizing, and had your insides growing hotter and hotter.

“Up here.” he instructed, and you scrambled to the top of the bed, “Lay back for me.”

Your heart was racing as your bare skin met the pillows and sheets below. A hand suddenly reached out to harshly grip your chin, and you were meeting your boyfriend’s cold gaze once more.

“So you do know how to listen. My little brat just chooses not to, isn’t that right?”

You just stared back at him, frozen. Joshua gave a dark chuckle before sitting down next to you. His free hand rested on your bare thigh, his tie brushing against you as his fingers dug in slightly.

“Remind me, darling. What’s the rule for when I’m away? You have my permission to speak. This time, anyway.”

“But, baby, you were busy, and I-”

You were cut off by a swift slap to your thigh, “Quiet. I asked you a simple question, and I expect an answer.”

“I-I’m not supposed to touch myself unless I’m on the p-phone or on video w-with you.” you stuttered out, and Joshua soothed your tingling skin in response.

“Mmm, I thought so. And what did I tell you when you reached out to me yesterday?”

His thumb rubbed over your bottom lip, and everything in his eyes said that he was going to eat you alive.

“That you were about to go into a meeting, and that I was going to have to wait.” you replied obediently since it was clear he really wasn’t fucking around this time.

Your boyfriend’s fingers danced over your skin, edging closer to your dripping core.

“And did you? Did you wait like I asked you? Like a good girl?”

You immediately shook your head.

“I want to hear you say it, darling. Did you wait like a good girl?”

“N-No.” you mumbled, your lip starting to quiver.

“No what?” Joshua pressed, and you gasped when one of his fingers ghosted over your clit.

Just a flicker of stimulation, there and gone within seconds.

“N-No, s-sir.”

He smiled at you then. Not the kind that made butterflies stir inside of you, but the type that had your core clenching around nothing.

“My needy little cockslut couldn’t even wait a few hours. I lied about the meeting because I was coming home early to surprise you. But I ended up being the one who was surprised when I came home to your greedy little fingers between your legs.”

Your mouth fell open once more when he ran one of his fingers through your folds.

“Were you at least thinking about me? Was it my name you were crying out with your fingers stuffed inside that needy little cunt of yours?” he went on questioning as one of his digits circled teasingly around your entrance.

“Y-Yes, sir. Always you. Just needed you so bad.” you answered breathlessly, Joshua humming in response.

“Good to know. But, I am still going to have to punish you, darling. You know that, don’t you?”

His hands left you entirely, and every part of you was crying out with want. Your eyes were brimming with tears, and he had barely done anything yet.

“Hands, darling.” Joshua spoke up again, “Let me see them.”

You sniffled as you held them out in front of you.

“There’s a good girl.” your boyfriend remarked softly before he began winding his silk tie around your wrists.

He pulled the fabric tight. Not enough to hurt, but enough to where you couldn’t escape your bonds.

“You know, all I could think about yesterday was getting home to make love to my darling girlfriend.” he voiced, gently brushing some of the hair from your face.

You felt a burst of warmth in your chest this time. It went straight to your core as soon as he moved to pin down one of your thighs with his knee, fingers snaking back up the inside of your leg.

“Remember your safeword. Cause you see, darling, the shame is, now I’m going to have to fuck you until you cry. Until you scream.” Joshua growled, two of his long digits roughly plunging inside you without warning.

You let out a sharp cry as your back arched off the sheets. Your legs instinctively tried to clamp around your boyfriend’s hand, but Joshua used his knee and free hand to wrench them open with ease.

“Now listen here, you little slut. You’re going to take what I give you. Every bit of it. Come as many times as I want you to. Until I’m satisfied with your punishment. And if you speak out of turn, then I’ll make you choke on my cock until you can’t breathe. Nod your head if you understand.”

You did as told, fresh tears sliding down your cheeks. Joshua smirked devilishly, “Tears so soon, darling? Oh, but we’ve barely begun.”

You felt him slide in a third finger, his digits aggressively fucking into you. His thumb was suddenly at your clit, and a choked moan escaped you.

“You really do have the neediest little cunt. Practically sucking my fingers inside. My little cockslut, always so desperate to be stuffed full.” Joshua spat at you, and you clenched tight around his fingers.

“Aw, darling. You gonna come already? You really get off on being punished that much? Filthy girl.”

Since speaking wasn’t currently an option, you had to express yourself through moans, whimpers, and pants.

“My little brat. I know you act up on purpose just so I’ll punish you. Isn’t that right?”

You shook your head as more tears slipped out. Joshua pushed down on your clit with his thumb and your whole body jolted as you let out a loud cry.

“Don’t lie to me, darling. You were practically soaking our sheets, and I hadn’t even touched you yet. You knew I would punish you if you fucked your greedy little cunt without my permission, and yet you still did it anyway. You wanted this, admit it.”

All you could do in response was whine pathetically as your body thrashed on the sheets. His thumb moved across your clit in fast circles as his fingers continued drilling into you. He was making you come undone like it was the easiest thing in the world, and with how well he knew you and knew your body, for him it probably was.

It was taking him a little more effort to keep your legs pinned open though with how violently they were beginning to shake. His free hand was digging in hard enough to leave more than a few marks. Your cries grew in pitch, and your walls spasmed around his digits again and again.

“Fuck, I can feel how close you are. Go ahead and soak my fingers, you greedy little slut.” Joshua practically snarled, increasing his pressure on your clit and curling his fingers just right inside of you.

You exclaimed as you came all over his hand, and your boyfriend cursed as some of it even reached the length of his rolled up sleeves. Your chest heaved as you struggled to catch your breath. You were still in such a deep post orgasm haze that you didn’t even register Joshua pulling something from his pocket. Not until it was being pressed against your still somewhat sensitive clit.

“You’re giving me another one.” your boyfriend said simply, a slight rasp in his voice.

You had barely started to piece it together, when Joshua switched the device on. You let out a sob as the vibrator pulsed harshly against your bundle of nerves. The same vibrator that your boyfriend had caught you with during his surprise early homecoming yesterday. Oh, you had really fucked yourself this time.

"What's wrong, darling?" Joshua asked sweetly, a contrast to the way he pressed the toy harder against you.

A string of breathy moans filled the air as your head fell back against the pillows.

"I don't understand." he continued, increasing the speed of the vibrator and making you let out a broken cry, "You seemed to be enjoying it so much yesterday."

He tortuously dragged the device through your folds before making his way back up to your clit.

"Am I not doing it right? Is it not fast enough for you, darling?"

He turned it up higher, and you had to bite down hard on your lip to keep from screaming. Joshua's free hand was immediately roughly grabbing your jaw, "Don't you dare. I told you I wanna hear my little brat scream. Now, be a good girl and open up, darling."

His fingers dug harder into your already tear stained cheeks, practically prying your mouth open. You sobbed as he increased the pressure of the vibe, and Joshua took the opportunity to spit right into your open mouth.

"Swallow it, slut." he growled, dark eyes blazing as he stared down at you.

Tears streamed down your face as you obeyed his request.

"So much better at listening today. Maybe you've earned a little break, darling. What do you think?"

Your eyes screamed please as you nodded your head at him. You sighed in relief when he promptly switched off the device. His hands rubbed soothingly up and down your trembling thighs.

"Talk to me for a minute, darling. Do you need to use your safeword?"

His eyes were much softer now, showing a hint of concern. He wiped at your wet cheeks, the smallest smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. You grinned dazedly back up at him.

"No, I just…need a minute…I think. Like to breathe." you told him, laughing slightly at the end.

Joshua chuckled as well before leaning down to press a quick kiss to your lips, his hands tenderly cradling your face.

"I love you, my darling. Always. Remember that." he whispered softly against you.

You hummed, "Love you too, Shua.'

He gave you another swift peck.

"Even when you're mean and make me cry." you added teasingly.

"Oh please, you live for this. You love it." Joshua retorted, poking your cheek and making you giggle.

"Maybe just a little." you admitted.

"You sure you're okay to keep going? I'm not nearly finished with you yet." your boyfriend voiced as his hands trailed down your sides, raising goosebumps along your skin.

"As long as you take care of me after, and then we get to pass the fuck out and take a nap." you said back, giving a little yawn for effect.

Joshua chuckled, "Okay, darling, I promise."

"Alright, then, punish away, sir." you quipped, even giving him a small salute.

There was the slightest shift in his body language as you watched Joshua fall back into his dominant persona.

"No more talking. And close your eyes. Keep them closed until I say." he instructed simply.

Your eyes easily slipped shut, mainly because you were already worn out from how hard he had been on you today. You heard rather than felt the familiar buzz of the vibrator, and your body immediately tensed.

"Relax, darling." Joshua soothed, sounding far away.

You hissed in surprise when you felt the toy dragging along the inside of your thigh, making your skin tingle. You heard what sounded like the shuffling of sheets, and assumed that your boyfriend was changing his position.

A strong arm locked around one of your thighs to hold you in place. The vibe ghosted over your clit and you gasped. You thought you had somewhat of an idea of what was coming, but then shock shot through your system when Joshua unexpectedly licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit.

"Even as a needy little slut, you still taste so fucking sweet." he mused, his voice husky and deep.

You could just picture his tongue darting out to swipe across his lips. You squirmed in anticipation on the sheets, a whiny moan escaping you. Your back was arching off the bed completely a moment later when the toy suddenly came back to life, pressing against your bundle of nerves.

Joshua didn't even give you a chance to adjust before his tongue was diving into your heat, fucking into you just as vigorously as his fingers had been earlier. The combination of the vibrator on your clit had you feeling ready to burst into flames.

Out of instinct, your bound hands tried to reach for the device to push it away.

"Hands to yourself. Or I'll make sure you can't walk for a week."

You whimpered as fresh tears coated the pillow case, but retracted your hands as asked. Your second orgasm was approaching fast, every part of you winding tighter and tighter. Your sobs filled the air, and mixed with the lewd sounds of Joshua between your legs.

He switched the vibe to the highest setting, and you were coming almost immediately, your body practically convulsing with the force of it. You heard him turn off the device before throwing it somewhere in the room. The sheets shifted again, and a second arm was wrapping around your other thigh.

You let out a squeal as you felt your body being dragged down the bed. And then your legs were in the air, and Joshua was growling before burying his face back in your cunt.

The top half of your body twisted violently at the overstimulation, cries and moans falling shamelessly from your lips. Joshua drank up your release, teeth grazing against your folds. His nose kept bumping your sensitive clit, and it took everything in you not to shove his head away with your tied hands.

When his lips wrapped around your bundle of nerves, it was like you had been electrocuted. You couldn't hold back your screams anymore. They pierced the air as Joshua expertly flicked his tongue against you.

"That's it, darling. Scream for me."

Your boyfriend sounded almost unrecognizable, his voice was all desire and lust.

"Open your eyes. I want you to look at me as I devour this needy little cunt of yours." he snapped at you, and your eyes flew open on command.

Joshua looked like pure sin between your legs. Strands of his sweat soaked midnight hair were falling over his eyes, and he had you all over his plump, glistening lips. You could see his muscles straining against the sleeves of his white dress shirt from locking down your thighs and holding you in place.

His eyes flicked up to meet yours as he pulled your clit between his teeth, and you nearly came on the spot as you let out a shriek. Even through tear blurred eyes, you could make out Joshua's shit eating grin. You honestly weren't sure who was getting off more from this at this point.

All you knew was the almost painful, but delicious burn between your thighs, and the presence of your third orgasm racing furiously towards you. You felt completely out of your mind. Just a whining, sobbing mess at the mercy of your boyfriend and his truly wicked mouth.

It only took a few more swipes of his tongue for you to tumble over the edge, your release coating his face and the collar of his shirt.

"Fucking hell, you're a messy little slut today."

He carefully let your legs slide off his shoulders, your spent body falling limp against the sheets. You had just started to sink into the comfort of your bed, when he spoke again, "One more, darling. You're giving me one more."

Surely he was joking? But the sight of Joshua removing his belt from his slacks in one swift motion said differently.

"Shuaaaaaa," you whined, "So tired."

"You have your safeword." he reminded you, but all desire to invoke it faded as soon as he was taking out his fully hard cock.

It almost looked painful, the tip was red and angry. So fucked out, but your mouth still watered slightly and it didn't go unnoticed by your boyfriend.

"See, darling. You are my little cockslut. Three orgasms back to back, and you're still desperate to be stuffed full of cock. It still isn't enough for that greedy little cunt of yours. Well lucky for you, I'm still not satisfied with your punishment. Not until I fuck you like the filthy whore you are." Joshua snarled before roughly spreading your legs again.

He handled you like a ragdoll, pulling you up by your bound hands before slipping them over his head to rest at the base of his neck. All you could do was sob as his cock slowly started pushing past your walls. Joshua's hands gripped your hips tightly, fingers pushing deeper into your skin as he continued burying himself inside you.

Your boyfriend hissed once he had bottomed out, "Fuuuuck, how are you still so tight? After all that. Feels like I'm gonna break you. But you want to be broken, don't you, darling? You love the way I split you open. I know you can't fucking get enough of it."

You wailed in response, letting your head fall to rest on his shoulder. Luckily, Joshua knew you were spent, so he started fucking you hard and fast right off the bat. You weakly tried sucking a mark into his skin as he railed you into the sheets below. His grunts and groans filled your ears, his hips snapping harshly against your own.

"Who does this cunt belong to?"

"You, sir." you mumbled into his shoulder, already about to come again from how much he had overstimulated you.

"You're going to have to speak up, darling. Who's cunt is this?" Joshua demanded, wrapping one of his large hands around your neck and squeezing enough to briefly restrict your airflow.

"Fuck! Yours, Joshua, it's yours!" you sobbed once the pressure had let up.

He released your neck in favor of gripping your jaw to get you to look at him. You were a shaking, shivering, crying jumble of limbs beneath him. Joshua crashed his lips against yours, swallowing your cries and stealing the remaining air in your lungs. It was the kind of kiss that screamed mine.

"Remember that." he said against your mouth before dragging your bottom lip out with his teeth.

You were falling to pieces a moment later, your whole body going slack. Joshua wrapped his arms around your back to keep you upright as he chased his own release. You barely registered him sinking his teeth into your shoulder as his thrusts started to lose their rhythm.

"Oh, darling." he moaned breathily, "Oh, fuck."

He groaned, long and deep and beautiful, right next to your ear as you felt him filling you up. Joshua carefully lifted your bound hands from behind his head before tipping you to lay back against the sheets. You shuddered when two of his fingers dipped through your folds to shove the mixture of cum back inside you. His slick digits prodded at your lips, "Open your mouth."

You complied, and he pushed his fingers in further to rest on your tongue. You sucked them clean without waiting to be asked, and Joshua beamed down at you proudly.

"There's my good girl." he said softly, warm eyes dancing with affection, and you flushed at the praise.

"Took your punishment so well, darling. I love you so much." he went on as he freed your hands from their bonds, his thumbs immediately rubbing over your skin in comforting circles.

"I love you too, baby. But, I do believe I was promised top tier after care and a nap." you reminded him, letting out another yawn.

Joshua laughed as he gazed down at you fondly, "I always keep my promises."

You hummed, your eyelids fluttering as you fought the temptation of sleep.

"Good or bad." your boyfriend added with a wink.

You smiled tiredly cause it was the only thing you had the energy for, but you knew Joshua would be able to tell what you really meant. He always could.

#seventeen #joshua hong #seventeen smut #joshua smut #seventeen fic #joshua fic

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