#I like to think Seb could come to an understanding if his frustration were respected

[breadedsinner]

WIP Wednesday

*

Sebastian ran his hands through his hair, pushing it back so far that a twinge of pain stretched at his scalp, and sighed. “I suppose I feel shame, mostly. After everything… Anders got what he wanted. He carried out his plan, he sparked the uprising, and died a martyr for his cause. Perhaps not now, but ten years, a hundred years… he will be revered. And if I’m to be remembered at all, it would be as an obstacle. A fool who stood idle, waiting for a sign, while the maleficarum plotted and began this war. Even when I tried to stop it, even when I cried for his death, I did more to assist him in his goal.”

“Dearheart,” Hawke’s voice was soft, yet commanding. She gripped his knee as she spoke. Her dark eyes were neatly aligned with his, a firm brow, but a thin film of water. “Listen to me. I told Anders I would kill him. I told him if he lost control again, or if he carried out his plan, I would do it. He did, and I kept that promise. You almost died. Had you not been with me, had it been any other day, I might have lost you. And if that happened, I would have made him suffer for it, tenfold. So, let me be the one to carry that burden.”

#Tether Fic #Writing Tag #wip wednesday #Prince Hunny #Judith Hawke #OTP: We Found Each Other in the Dark #Yes the ten years hundred years is on purpose because narrative foils #So the idea is that they're maybe a few weeks out of the Thing #A bit of time and space #And they're slowly unpacking all that happened #Admitting they were wrong but if they had to do it again.... it might have gone the same #I think this is more interesting than just being 'right' but hey #I like to think Seb could come to an understanding if his frustration were respected #Anders Negative #Character Death

[rolling-restart]

desecration - part. 23

*** This is a NSFW fic with unhealthy relationship elements and graphic description of violence and sex as well as distressing mental illness elements. If it’s something you want to avoid or you are minor, please scroll past. ***

Status: incomplete

Tags and content warnings: Suicidal thoughts, eating disorder, unhealthy relationship dynamics, implied non-consensual drug use, workplace harassment, swearing, depression, intrusive thoughts, distressing content in general.

Summary: Sebastian makes a difficult phone call. Mick benefits from some guided reflection. Alex cooks.

CALL IT FATE, CALL IT KARMA

“So, just to make sure I understood you correctly,”

Sebastian started to think that Nico hung up after a pause of silence.

“Mick came to you and said Toto was acting intimate with him and that he was uncomfortable.”

Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yes.”

“And you screamed at him?”

“No, Nico, I didn’t scream at him. It was just…”

“Just what?”

Sebastian didn’t know. Perhaps it was a bad idea to call Nico for help but so far, he was being a reasonable listener.

“I was just so… angry at Toto. For daring to do a such thing. Then I couldn’t control myself.”

Sebastian heard Nico scoff across the phone. Only if Sebastian could think of a better person to call. However, he was seriously out of options due to the fragility of the issue.

“You are such an immense prick still, you know that?”

“Are you done?”

Sebastian didn’t call Nico to hear his insults and how much he fucked up. He knew he would hear such things but it was still extremely irritating coming out with Nico’s trademark accent. 

“I am not. And don’t think that I care about how you feel about this. You were being immature and you made the kid run away from you. Precisely at a moment when he needed your support the most. You are unbelievable.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

He knew his words came out as a plea. As if Mick could hear him somehow, and take pity on the old man. It wasn’t that he didn’t know he fucked up. He also knew Mick well enough that he wouldn’t put up with his rubbish behaviour. He was still surprised at how irrationally he behaved in the heat of the moment.

Nico sighed. 

“Doesn’t matter. And don’t think that I give a single flying fuck about you two either.”

“Good to know. Bye.”

“Don’t you dare hang up, I’m not finished.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes as if Nico could see his face.

“It’s so funny, you know. You think only your troubles, your pain and your anger matter. What happened with Mick isn’t nice but not surprising either. We knew the pattern. We knew Toto was dangerous. You sent him like that, without informing him fully when he needed it the most-”

“Now don’t you fucking dare twist it. I didn’t tell him because I respected George’s privacy.”

“Oh yes, that’s very noble of you. As it matters in the situation he is in.”

“He doesn’t need public humiliation, according to what Daniel said, he is already way down under.”

Nico scoffed again. Sebastian was feeling his head getting warmer with frustration.

“Yes Sebastian, imagine if Mick was that terrified after a couple of days, imagine how George is feeling after god knows how many years. You don’t understand anything. You don’t understand shit. When I was in his situation, I didn’t give a fuck about what anyone said about me. And oh, they did say things. But no, I was so focused on my survival, so afraid of falling from Toto’s graces that I wouldn’t give a damn if the Sun published a picture of me sucking him off.”

Nico was spitting out words like venom. 

“You… You don’t know George. I have been working with him with the Association. He might be poisoned but he is still too proud to admit. I didn’t… I didn’t want to make things any harder for him.”

Nico laughed, making the hair behind Sebastian’s back rise. It was a sinister laugh, warning him about what is to come.

“Oh Seb, Seb, the noble Seb, protecting everyone’s honour.”

“Nico, please…”

“Where were your morals when you started rumours about me back then? Saying that Toto was giving me the better car because I let him fuck me? That I was his pretty little mistress and was in a position that I didn’t deserve to be where I was?”

Sebastian closed his eyes. He felt somehow unresponsive against the baggage Nico just casually decided to spill over except for the burning shame rising in his chest. 

“Now you go around telling me that George deserves privacy. And you are right, he does but it is not the priority. Especially in the case of Mick. Didn’t you think Mick could actually reach George somehow if he knew? That he could be some sort of help?”

“I… I didn’t want to burden Mick with a such thing.”

“There you go, that’s it. Your little Mick was too precious to even be bothered with ugly truth about the people around him. You never cared about George. You are just driven with guilt and now the possible spillover on Mick. You didn’t give a fuck about me when I was dying, and now you don’t give a fuck about what happens to George. It’s always you and what is yours. And that’s why you deserve what’s coming to you.”

“Shut up. Stop.”

Sebastian knew he was just seconds away from saying something he might regret. 

“Oh don’t start. It’s still not about you. It never was. And the fact that I will help has nothing to do with you or that fucking spoilt brat. I will do it for George because he has no one to help him.”

Sebastian kept silent. It was unexpected, somehow, because he was sure that Nico would just hang up after spitting his resentment. Sebastian didn’t feel thankful but he didn’t have much choice. 

“So you will help? I don’t care as long as you help.”

“Oh, fuck you, Sebastian.”

And he hung up. Sebastian stayed with the phone in his ear. He didn’t know what he expected and he knew he was supposed to feel relieved. He couldn’t dive into the past because it was just too shameful to remember things he spent so long justifying. 

At least he was going to help, which probably meant doing something about Toto. As long as Mick was safe in the end, Sebastian didn’t care who helped him and who destroyed what. Maybe Nico was right, he was a selfish prick but there was no way of choosing who he cared for and what he would sacrifice in order to keep him safe. 

===========

Within the bleak theme of his visit, seeing Daniel was a joyful refreshment to Mick. He couldn’t believe he almost forgot that he would be there, in his home country during a break. It was mostly an attempt by Jack to make him feel better to invite Daniel and Mick couldn’t help but appreciate it. Mick grew to like and sympathise with Daniel because they somehow shared a similar destiny. Nevertheless, he wasn’t sure his current sombre mood let him convey these feelings properly. 

“You must be relieved. I know I am.”

“Huh?”

He raised his head from the floor of Jack’s lounge room to look at Daniel. The rest of the mixed group of their friends were chatting loudly right next to them and Mick found it easy to just zone out.

“Mercedes. Better than nothing I guess.”

“I… I guess.”

“What’s wrong?”

Mick thought the frown on Daniel’s face looked very uncharacteristic. However, immediately, he felt bad for thinking that because it must be an almost harmful trope about Daniel that he was supposed to be happy all the time and putting that kind of expectation on a person was simply impolite.

“Nothing… Nothing. I just had a bit of an awkward time in team bonding weekend.”

Mick was sure that Daniel would laugh and make a joke about him being too uptight but instead, his frown deepened.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Did he? When he came back from Austria, he really needed to talk about it to get it off of his chest. However, after Sebastian’s reaction, he felt withdrawn. Was Daniel going to be mad if he opened up?

“Oh no, no big deal.”

“It doesn’t sound like it. Come on, let’s get a drink.”

Mick didn’t protest when Daniel herded him to the empty kitchen. He dived into Jack’s cabinets and fridge to find something to drink while Mick looked at him sheepishly.

“So, how was that ‘bonding weekend?”

Mick felt like he is being questioned by a parent about school or something, which didn’t help with his uneasiness.

“It was alright. Mostly.”

“What wasn’t alright?”

Mick fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt. Would it make him look like a complete fool, or over-eager, full of himself to talk about it? Would Daniel judge him?

“It’s just… Toto Wolff is a bit of a… Unique guy.”

The glasses Daniel took out of the cabinet clinked on the counter as he stopped.

“What do you mean unique?”

Mick refused to make eye contact with Daniel.

“You know, a bit old-fashioned I guess? A bit too involved?”

Daniel seemed to forget about the drinks he was fixing for them.

“Involved? What do you mean by that?”

Daniel’s voice was controlled but there was a sense of urgency in it too, to get the truth out of Mick as soon as possible.

“He is a bit… too… close I guess sometimes?”

Mick was sure there was a German word that defined the situation better than ‘close’ but he couldn’t find an English equivalent.

“In which way?”

It was, again, a one-way interrogation. Mick felt uneasy.

“Stop that. Seb did the exact thing?”

“What?”

Mick was properly staring at the ground and ground only.

“He also acted like that. Like… You know. But it wasn’t because of me. It was just awkward.”

Daniel leaned on the counter and crossed his arms. 

“Mick, I don’t understand anything from what you say.”

Mick let out a frustrated huff.

“Like, is it normal for your boss to tuck you in or like, be very close, physically, to you sometimes?”

Daniel’s eyes widened but he took his expression under control very quickly.

“No, it is most definitely not. Did Toto do something to make you uncomfortable?”

Mick hated the way it was spelt out. It made him feel weak, like an object rather than a subject. Like stuff happened to him instead of him being an active participant. Being too in front of the public eye had that effect but it was never this intense.

“Not… Not really. I don’t know. I think I just made it up.”

“No, no, no, Mick. It’s okay. It’s okay to say if there was anything, even the tiniest thing made you uncomfortable.”

Mick sighed. He had to speak fast if he didn’t want to change his mind. 

“He, uhh, he was a bit tactile I guess? And he took me to the wine cellar and gave me his dressing gown and like, touched my face but like, it was because I spat wine on his face. And there is also the fact that he saw me up during the night after I saw George on the balcony and took me to my room to tuck me in.”

Daniel raised his hands with confusion.

“Hey, hey. Slow down. What wine? What it has to do with George and what do you mean he took you to your room?”

Mick knew he babbled a little because he was anxious. Now he had to slowly clarify everything, which was going to be much more painful. Still, he was too far in to make Daniel let it go. So he started.

To be fair, Daniel took it in a much calmer manner than Sebastian did. He nodded to encourage him to continue when Mick got lost in his words anxiously. 

“I see, I see. And you mentioned George?”

Mick found it curious that Daniel picked up on the mention of George among everything else.

“Uhm… When I talked to him, he seemed unwell. He had like, a hurt back. A lot of scars and he said it was because of a motorcycle accident but I also ride motorcycles and it wasn’t a riding accident. I think he just bluntly lied to me. And he was taking medication-”

“What medication?”

“Painkillers he said but they reacted badly with alcohol and he was coughing all the time. I suggested to go to the hospital together and he refused. He seemed just so… out of it. I don’t know it was weird.”

Daniel’s mind seemed to be somewhere else after Mick’s last point about George. 

“I understand. Did you talk about this to Seb?”

Mick nodded, grimacing at the memory.

“Yeah, and he got mad, like very mad and he screamed at me. I came here to just have a break.”

Daniel nodded understandingly and managed to put a little smile on his face.

“I see, I see. I mean, what Toto did has nothing to do with professionalism. Did you think of talking to someone in the team about it?”

Mick shook his head.

“I don’t know anyone yet and even if I did… I can’t. This is my last shot and I don’t want to lose it because I was too sensitive.”

“Mick, it has nothing to do with it. What he did was wrong.”

“I know I know but… I want to think more about it. Maybe I just exaggerated it.”

Daniel shook his head uncharacteristically furiously.

“No, no, don’t fucking start. Thinking about it? Yes. But what you told me is definitely weird and I think… I don’t know, you should talk to someone about it. Maybe to Sebastian, once you feel like it.”

Mick nodded and took the drink Daniel prepared for him from his hand. 

“Does this have anything to do with the thing you and Seb went to Monaco for?”

Daniel was a deer in headlights. 

“I… uhhh… Not… Not really? What did Seb tell you?”

Mick considered lying, telling Daniel that Seb told him everything, whatever that everything was but he knew if he tried to lie, he would blow it. 

“Nothing. I feel like he knew something. And you do too. Just no one wants to tell me anything.”

Mick took an aggressive swing from the drink. Daniel put too much vodka in it, which made his throat burn. 

“Don’t take it personally, Mick. It’s not he doesn’t trust you. It’s not I don’t trust you either. It’s just… Sensitive.”

Mick rolled his eyes and moved to leave the kitchen.

“That’s what you all keep saying and honestly I started to get sick of it.”

===========

“How many minutes did it say on the package?”

George didn’t respond. He was still tucked on the couch with his old blankets. He didn’t move or said anything for a while. He wasn’t even looking at Alex, going around his house, doing god knows what. The only reaction he gave was to gag at the smell of whatever monstrosity Alex was committing in his kitchen. 

“10, but it has been 8. I think it can stay there for a while, what do you think?”

Alex had been doing this for a while after calming down. He was talking to George and not getting a response didn’t seem to discourage him in the slightest. He just kept talking as if George responded, which George thought was extremely bizarre. 

“Now I don’t care what you say. I will shove this into your mouth and tape it shut to keep it in your body.”

George gagged again at the thought. It was almost endearing how hopeful Alex was. He barely ate a piece of toast for the past couple of days. If Alex thought whatever heavy thing he was cooking had any chance of being eaten by George, he must have been dreaming. 

“I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t care.”

Alex turned off the stove and started dishing things out of the pot. George has been in this position with Toto many times especially after his peculiar relationship with food was revealed. He could try to eat and then run to the bathroom to get rid of it as soon as possible. It wasn’t the end of the world.

“I’ll eat with you.”

Alex put the plates in the small bar area of the kitchen. He seemed unfazed by George’s frustrated stare the whole time. Alex took the remote and switched off the TV that no one was paying attention to. 

“To the table, c’mon.”

“You cannot make me.”

It was very similar and very different from how it was with Toto. With Toto, there was that invisible barrier of disobedience that George never saw pass, and never thought of seeing pass. Not doing the things he directly asked George to do was so outrageous that it was unthinkable. Alex was… He was different. Merely human and saying no to him couldn’t be that bad. 

“I can’t but I will be really upset if you don’t eat it. I made it myself.”

George looked up to him. His face was neutral in contrast to his angry demeanour not so long ago. It was difficult for him to process a request without weighing the consequences of disobedience. The most Alex could do was to be disappointed in him, angry with him, or both. He was already both of those things, therefore, technically, there were no stakes.

However, there was also the aspect of making progress. Was he really thinking that he was so deep that there was no reason to try climbing up? Would an act of progress, one step in the right direction make a difference? It was all thinking from Alex’s point of view, of course. According to George, eating wouldn’t be a step in the right direction. He was already abandoned, scarred beyond belief and there was indeed no way to climb back up. Nevertheless what Alex thought mattered to him, somehow. It could be pride, it could be caring but even if he died, he wanted to die without offending Alex. It was pointless because nothing actually mattered in that case but George still couldn’t let go of that crumb of dignity he had somewhere inside him.

They were sitting side by side at the counter. Alex gestured to his full plate and took a fork. The food didn’t look bad. It was some sort of vegetable stir fry. It was kind of Alex to not put any meat because it would make him even more nauseous.

Alex was eating slowly beside him while making irritating noises. Normally, George would insult him in some way but suddenly he felt too tired to carry out banter. He took his fork.

The first bite was always the most difficult one. He knew it was going to irritate his stomach. George thought it was a bad idea to prepare a full meal considering how long he didn’t eat anything. He couldn’t say anything, though, because the possibility of Alex feeling hurt or like his effort was for nothing broke George’s heart.

It felt awkward, almost out of place in his mouth. The texture was familiar and foreign at the same time. Thankfully, it wasn’t too greasy. Alex was kind enough to not make a comment when he saw him take a bite. It took George minutes until he could swallow it. There was a strange sense of pride in his chest. He looked at Alex expectantly. Alex only smiled.

It wasn’t too surprising that George started to feel sick after a couple of bites and Alex took pity on him. 

“You did well. You don’t have to finish it.”

George’s face spasmed something close to a smile with approval. He didn’t know how much it had been since he had heard anything positive from anyone, including himself. Something pooled in his chest, so long gone so forgotten. 

Yet it was quite short-lived when George started to feel very uneasy with the search for a familiar action. He jumped off the high chair. 

“Where are you going?”

George paused a second to consider lying.

“To the bathroom.”

“George…”

Here it was, the anticipated expression of disappointment written all over Alex’s face. George almost felt relief. It was familiar, known. It wasn’t like whatever the hell happened in his brain only seconds ago. Whatever that was George’s was going to come back, eventually, and shame and disappointment were the first things on the list. George shuffled his feet uneasily.

“You are doing so well. Why waste it?”

George started rocking at his spot slowly. He was already fighting the tears filling his eyes but he stayed silent. The feeling of despair was almost soft, embracing. 

“You can resist it, I believe in you.”

George smiled bitterly and shook his head. He was scared of throwing up right in front of Alex if he opened his mouth. 

“Do you want to lie down to wait for the feeling to pass?”

 George couldn’t bear looking up to Alex. He wished something, maybe a stray blood clot from taking too many things at once would kill him right there. It would be easier, easier than anything he had to deal with. If he died, he wouldn’t have to feel like this or make anyone feel bad. 

“Let’s get you seated.”

He let Alex accompany him to the couch. The nausea was still there and he just made peace with ruining his living room if he wasn’t able to hold himself.

“Please, just let me do it, it hurts.”

He wasn’t lying entirely. His stomach was hurting from receiving that much substance for the first time in a while. It was also the fact that Alex’s meal, the one he prepared and cooked for Geroge and George only felt heavy in his stomach. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve anything. Whatever he didn’t deserve wanted to get out of his body, that was all. 

“You can do it, George. Next time, I’ll make something lighter, promise.”

There was not going to be a next time because George was going to off himself at his earliest convenience. He didn’t voice it, obviously. He never thought there would be a feeling worse than realising that Toto didn’t love him but here they were. The disappointment of the sincere people who cared about him felt even worse. That wasn’t the most horrifying part, though. If Alex reacted to him like this, he didn’t want to think of the occasion he had to face everyone else who cared about him. That was something he couldn’t handle. 

“George…”

George didn’t look up. He didn’t react either when Alex wrapped his arms around his shoulders. George must have been shaking badly because Alex’s body felt unstable against his. 

“Do you want to live or do you want to die?”

George scoffed and a choked voice came out of his throat.

“Because if you want to die, there is nothing I can do for you.”

#desecration: gr/tw fic #tw: eating disorders #tw: suicidal thoughts #🚩 #nsfw.

[wiypt-writes]

What The Stark Spangled F**k?

A Stark Spangled Forever Drabble-The Crap Book

Summary: Rori’s cutting and sticking habits wind the boys in the house up, but for very different reasons.

Warnings: Bad language words…

A/N: We all know the tale of the IKEA pineapple bowl Katie buys Steve in SSM…well, something popped up on my Facebook ads which reminded me of this and as a result this came from mine and @icanfeelastormbrewing​ ‘s very odd WhatsApp ramblings…enjoy!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 “Momma!" 

Katie looked up as Rori walked into the room, clutching the Magazine that she had been cutting pictures out of in her hands.

"Yes baby?” she asked, pausing the TV and  looking at her daughter.

“Look!”

Katie waited whilst Rori hopped up onto the couch, showing her the photo she was clearly excited about. She looked down to where her daughter’s finger was pointing and had to bite back a snort. She was looking at a frankly hideous white and yellow ring, the band of which contained multiple gold pineapples along with bands of diamonds and yellow stones.

“It’s like Daddy’s bowl!” she grinned.

“Sure is…you gonna put it in your Scrapbook?”

Rori nodded, and then she smiled “I want one.” Katie raised an eyebrow, deciding not to question her little Diva’s taste “Do you?” She nodded "Shall I ask Daddy? He got you your rings.”

Katie smiled and kissed Rori’s head “Yeah, you do that” “Ok…” she grinned, hopping down and skipping out of the room. Once she was gone, Katie glanced at Harry who was sat playing with his trucks on the rug, before she pressed play on the programme she was watching, glad of some peace and quiet for half an hour before she had to start dinner. But it was short lived. A loud yell hit her ears from the den and cursing she paused her programme again, picking Harry up, before heading into the room. “What is going on?” She demanded placing Harry down. He tottered over to where Rori was stood, her arms folded as she glared at Jamie.

“He stole my scrapbook!” she yelled.

“I only wanted a look!” Jamie scoffed, tossing it back down on the floor.

“Jamie,” Katie looked at him, “what did I tell you before about winding her up?”

amie rolled his eyes, making him look even more ridiculously like his father. “I just borrowed it…”

“Did she say you could?” “No.” “Then you stole it.” Katie said, simply, folding her arms. “Stop irritating her and leave her alone, she’s doing no harm.”

Jamie glared at his mother “Define harm.” Katie raised her eyebrows. “Don’t make me call your father.”

At that Jamie instantly pale and his eyes cast to the floor. “Sorry.” “So you should be, now apologise to your sister.” “Sorry Rori.”

Rori looked at him. “Fine.” she shrugged, sitting down and grabbing her safety scissors, returning to her activity.

World War Three prevented, Katie decided to scrap the attempts to watch TV and headed into the kitchen after telling Jamie to keep an eye on Harry whilst he was in the den. Half an hour later she called the kids in for dinner and had settled them down at the Table, the precious book placed by Rori as she tucked into her spaghetti.

“Why have you brought the crapbook to the table?” Jamie asked. Katie’s head shot up from where she had been supervising Harry who was finishing feeding himself and was about to tell her eldest son off again when Rori started to argue back.

“You’re a crapbook Jamie." 

"That makes no sense!” Jamie scoffed.

“Neither does your face.” Rori glared at him. At that Katie had to turn away, the laughter threatening to burst from her chest at Rori’s reply was really hard to keep down but somehow she managed it. Composing herself she turned to them both and gave them her best mom glare.

“Enough! Jamie, if you use that word again there’ll be big trouble.” “But it wasn’t me that-..” “I don’t care who did what” Katie shook her head, standing up to collect their empty dishes. “Keep pushing it pal and Seb won’t be coming over tomorrow after school.” Jamie let out a frustrated groan but he fell silent and Katie could only imagine the daggers he was throwing at her back as she turned away.

“Suck it up, loser.” She heard Rori say, another phrases she had picked up from Jamie and with a sigh she dropped the dishes in the sink before she spun round. 

“I heard that little Missy.” she shot Rori a glare and the young girl held her stare back, before she glanced down at the table. “Now I’m telling you both. One more angry word or argument from either of you and you’ll be straight up to bed.” “But Daddy isn’t home yet!” Rori said, horrified.

“Do I look like I care?” Katie asked. Rori looked at her before her eyes once more returned to the table and she sighed. “Now, can I trust you both to behave whilst I clean up?” “Yes momma.” they both chanted.

“Okay, then you can leave the table.” They both jumped down from their seats, and Katie watched them leave the kitchen, hands on her hips, shaking her head.

****** “The crap book?” Steve fought to keep his face straight as Katie shook her head, chuckling slightly.

“Yeah, I mean he isn’t wrong…it is full of crap but it was Rori’s response that got me. She told him he was the crap book and when he replied that makes no sense she goes `neither does your face’!" 

Steve choked on his mouthful of food, fighting hard to swallow it before he looked at his wife, grinning. Katie shook her head again and their conversation turned to more mundane topics, namely his latest intake of students and their plans for the weekend which consisted of heading out to see Pepper and Morgan.

Sensing that his wife had dealt with the kids moaning enough that day, Steve took over bedtime duties or the eldest two, Harry going down a good hour before them with no fuss as usual. Jamie headed off for a shower whilst he ran Rori a bath, and once they were settled in their pyjamas the usual mugs of hot milk for Rori and cocoa for Jamie were dished out along with the customary ten minutes at the piano with Katie, and true to form, once the final note of the last song was done, the usual griping began. One stern look at both of them and Steve shut down their complaints immediately and at his instruction they bid their mom goodnight and headed up the stairs. Steve told Rori to get in bed and he would be back in a moment for their story, and he headed over to Jamie’s room, tucking him in and telling him he had twenty minutes of TV time before lights were out.

When he walked back into Rori’s room she was busy, he brightly coloured Scrap Book lay open on her lap as she sat propped up by her mountain of pillows.

Not the crap book...he inwardly groaned, shaking his head. If Katie ever found out he was the reason Jamie called it that, he was a dead man. That was probably another twenty dollar bribe he was going to have to shell out to keep him quiet…

"Did you bring that up with you?” Steve asked, resigned to his fate as he dropped onto the bed besides Rori as she snuggled into him, his arm falling around her and he kissed the top of her head.

“No, I hided it up here before.” she said. “So Jamie couldn’t steal it again.” “Wise move.” Steve grinned. “So we looking at what dresses you’re gonna buy tonight instead of a story or…” “Please can you buy me a pineapple ring?” Rori looked up at him and Steve looked down at her blinking.

“A pineapple ring? I’m sure momma has a tin of them…” “Not the eating ones! One I can wear on my finger, look…” She pointed down at the book and Steve looked down, his mouth dropping open at the garish item of jewellery she had stuck on the page, which was surrounded by liberal amounts of glitter that was falling all over her bed spread and his jeans.

“You want one of those?” he looked at her.

Rori nodded.

“I don’t think those are made anymore.” Steve shook his head. “It must have been in the magazine as some kind of old article.”

That was such a lame-ass attempt at a get out, but thankfully Rori seemed to buy it.

“Oh, okay.” she mused. “But when I grow up, I want to be provoked to with one of these.”

"Provoked to?” Steve looked at her “What do you mean princess?” “You know when my boyfriend asks me to marry him.” “Oh, you mean proposed.” he smiled before he suddenly realised what she had said. “Hang on, you have a boyfriend?” “I have five.” Rori replied casually, flipping the page over. “One for each day I’m at school.”

Steve frowned, and once that had sunk in he scoffed and shook his head.  “No…I’m sorry but I can’t allow that. No boyfriends till you’re thirty. At least.” “I can’t help it if they love me!” Rori looked up at her dad.

He snorted and narrowed his eyes “You better not be kissing any of those boys young lady!” “Daddy, that’s gross!” Rori giggled “I don’t let them kiss me, I just make them carry my school bag like Momma makes you carry her bags”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Okay, that’s…I can live with that.” “And I let them look at me.” She shrugged. “Because you say I look like momma, and you say momma is the prettiest girl in the world so that means I’m pretty so they should be happy to look at me.” Steve looked at his daughter, once more lost for words at the stuff that was coming out of her mouth. Stuff that should really be nonsense, but when you looked at it from the logic of a five year old then he really couldn’t fault it. 

With a soft smile he kissed her head again and nodded to the book. “Show me the page on the animals in clothes again, Princess. I like that one.”

 **Original Posting**

#what the stark spangled fuck #stark spangled forever #steve rogers #Katie Stark #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #mcu #mcu fanfic #chris evans #chris evans characters

[nonstoplover]

please don’t say you love me ~ Sebastian Stan (song drabble)

my masterlist │ my song drabbles

song used as inspiration: gabrielle aplin ~ please don't say you love me

words: 2.1K

approximate reading time: about 15 mins

a/n: song drabble number three is here!! it's something more deep than i think i have ever written, and it was a little challenging, needed more thought and i'm not sure it's perfect but i did my best. hope you like it, let me know what you think! feedback is always appreciated, you know. and feel free to request anything! i love writing for you guys.

The sound of (y/n)'s giggles filled the small beach house they rented for their weekend getaway as she ran as fast as she could from the man behind her. Sebastian, face covered in tomato sauce followed close behind her, determined to catch her.

"I'm gonna get a revenge," he called out. "It's not fair that you're still clean."

"You need to catch me first!" The girl exclaimed back over her shoulder, skillfully dodging the sofa, but Sebastian chose the easy way and jumped over the piece of furniture and got right ahead of her.

"Wasn't that hard," he smirked, grabbing both her arms to pull her in and smear his face all across hers.

(y/n) tried hard to twitch out of his grasp, squealing loud, but he was too strong compared to her so all she managed to do was getting even more tomato sauce on her skin.

"Oh my gosh, Seb," she shook her head in disbelief but her eyes were still shining with joy.

She moved her hand up to run over her pointer finger on her cheek, collecting some of the red sauce before licking it up. Sebastian bursted out laughing loudly as he watched the scene unfold, amused by how the girl ate even that.

"What? Can't let it go to waste!" (y/n) defended herself when she glanced up and saw the look in his eyes.

Sebastian just shook his head as he continued watching her repeat the previous action. His heart was beating fast, and not from running around the house, instead from looking at the girl. She always managed to achieve this, no matter how simple things she did. Sebastian knew for a while now that he was completely enamoured of her, and wanted nothing more than to live all his remaining life with her by his side. He knew she was the one, he knew this was serious. At least, to him it was. He could only hope it was the same for the girl too.

"I lo-" he started to speak but was immediately cut off by (y/n)'s fingers pressing against his lips. Her eyes widened with worry and maybe fear, and suddenly all he could feel was confusion as it spread across his whole body.

She didn't feel like that towards him? He felt pain sting in his chest as he waited for an explanation.

"I'm sorry," (y/n) whispered before by-passing the man and going into the kitchen to clean her face with a paper towel.

Sebastian followed her, still not having a clue about what had just happened, and she held another towel out towards him silently, avoiding his searching gaze.

"I just..." she spoke up again, leaning against the counter. "I just don't think we should move this fast, you know?"

It hurt him more than he would have like to admit but he just nodded, giving her a tight-lipped smile. She finally made herself to look up, and when she met his eyes, she knew this explanation would not be good enough.

"We'd only break up if we said a couple things this early in our relationship."

"This early?" Sebastian frowned. "We're dating for 8 months now, I don't really think that it's that early."

"For me it is, okay?" (y/n) answered, voice raised a tad bit.

"But why? I just can't seem to understand. I thought we're alright and going straight ahead. I thought what we have is serious."

The girl felt her chest tighten by his words. You see, it already started, she thought. He's gonna break up with you. Tears made her vision cloudy, but she blinked them away and concentrated on the conversation, not letting her stupid feelings get in the way of acting like adults.

"We were alright! It's going great."

"Then I don't know why it's such a big deal that I want to say what I feel out loud."

"You don't feel that way," she shook her head.

"What?" Sebastian knew that he really shouldn't raise his voice, but his feelings were hurt and he couldn't help it. "How do you know what I feel?"

"It's too early for feelings to be so serious..."

"Too early. Here it is again, this word. Early. That just doesn't even make any sense to me. What if I actually happen to know after 8 months of dating that what I feel is lo-" he couldn't finish the word just like the first time he tried to say it, (y/n) was quicker and jumped to him to cover his mouth with her palm. "If we can't name this feeling, then what are we? Friends with benefits?"

His tone was bitter, it dripped from each of his words. He wanted this girl to be his wife someday, and now it turned out she only felt like it was some messed up friends with benefits and nothing more?

"Well, aren't you actually that kind of guy?" (y/n) asked back, tone similar to his.

"What's that supposed to mean?" His words snapped harsh and loud, making her wince.

"I mean, it's not like there weren't already stories about you in that kind of situations."

"What?" Sebastian felt like that was the only word he could say in their conversation. He constantly felt confused as it went on. "And how would you know that it's true? You know it pretty damn well that there are dozens of rumours about me that may not be true. Why do you believe it?"

"Because it sounds reasonable!" She exclaimed. "You're the famous, attractive, young man, star of Hollywood, with millions of fans that would do anything to be with you. It wouldn't be that surprising if you used what you got from life to have a little fun."

"We're dating for 8 months. 8! I think you had the time to get to know me well enough to know exactly that I'm not like that," he threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

She couldn't make herself to answer, she just shook her head and turned her body away from him just to get him out of her sight. She didn't know what to think anymore, all she knew that she didn't want their relationship to end. He was by far the kindest, most loving and caring man she had ever been with. They truly had an amazing 8 months behind them and she wanted it to last more than she had ever wanted anything in her life.

"You're crazy if you really think that," Seb hissed, misunderstanding the silence coming from her.

Her eyes were filled with tears now, one or two even escaping and rolling down her cheeks. Sebastian raised his hands to wipe the wetness from her skin with his thumbs.

"What's wrong?" He whispered. "Why don't you want me to say it?"

She took a shaky but deep breath, eyes moving down to the floor before she opened her mouth to answer.

"It happened so many times already."

"What? What happened?"

"That me and the current boy expressed some feelings that shouldn't have been expressed so fast."

"What do you mean?" Sebastian felt like he was trying to get information out of a young kid who got bullied in kindergarten, but he was determined to find the reason behind her strange behaviour out no matter what it took.

"After saying it out loud, it usually didn't last long."

"And what if I tell you that this time it'll be different?"

With his gentle caress against her skin and the caring, cautious look in his beautiful blue eyes (y/n) could almost feel herself give in. Almost. She wanted to  believe him, but experience told her to be more careful now if she didn't want to lose him.

"You can't know that. You can't see the future," she shrugged with a sad smile playing on her lips.

"If I don't say it then, will it be alright?"

"I hope so." She wanted to sound more sure, but she would've been lying if she acted like she knew what was about to happen with them. They'd only know that after more time passed by.

"I'll be at the beach, I just need half an hour of thinking, okay?" Sebastian pushed himself away from the counter he was leaning against, and without another word from him or the girl he was out of the door.

(y/n) spent the following forty minutes sitting on the kitchen floor, trying to figure out what it meant. Did she screw it up by speaking up about her past experiences? By not letting him express what he felt? But she knew how it was with all her previous relationships and she truly didn't want to lose him. She felt confused, uncertain and utterly upset.

She was woken from her deep thinking by the sun shining in her eyes through the window. She squinted, glancing at the clock before coming to the decision that she'd go and find Sebastian. They have to finish this conversation, see where it would end. She had to know what he was thinking.

It didn't take long before she saw his silhouette pacing up and down the shore, occasionally kicking away heaps of sand in his way. (y/n) approached him carefully, giving him time to notice her upcoming figure and send her away if that was what he wanted. But Sebastian just continued walking down towards the water and back up.

When she got to him, stopping only a few metres from his route, he finally stopped and spoke up.

"I understand that you went through things like that, and I respect it. I won't say anything like that until you think it's alright. I... feel towards you in a way that I know that I don't want to lose you. And if all I have to do is not say one thing to avoid losing you, then so be it."

(y/n) felt tears gather in her eyes once more, but this time they were all happy tears. What Sebastian said meant more to her than he would ever know. He saw the smile appear on her cheeks, the adoring glint her eyes started to shine with, and he knew it was alright.

"I feel the same way about you, I don't want to lose you either."

Sebastian's heart fluttered with happiness, finally being able to be certain about how the girl felt towards him made everything seem much better in the world.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, gently stepping towards the girl. His eyes stared into her (y/e/c) orbs softly, making her go weak in her knees and warm in her chest.

"Don't give me that puppy dog face. How am I supposed to say no to that?" She tried to joke, lightening the mood, letting him know that they had successfully passed the hard part.

Sebastian let out a chuckle before wrapping his arms around her lower back and pulling her in close. Slowly, extremely slowly he leant in, wanting to give the girl the choice to change her mind. But she just slightly tilted her head, eyes shuttering close as she awaited the kiss.

Lips met, gently pressing against each other for a few moments before they both started to pour more feelings into it, eventually turning the first innocent kiss into something more passionate and heated. They tried to communicate what they felt, thought and wanted the other to know but couldn't speak just yet through the movements of their lips.

When they ran out of breath and parted, their eyes were shining with a new kind of delight and affection. (y/n) giggled, letting out a sigh as she grew more sure that she didn't ruin everything and the man wouldn't disappear from her life.

Out of nowhere Sebastian moved his hands, gripping the sides of her waist and lifting her in the air out of pure joy he was feeling.

"Put me down!" (y/n) squealed, hands swiftly moving to his shoulders to find something to hold onto. "Seb!"

He swirled her around, feet moving around the wet sand as he gazed up at her with adoring eyes. Her (y/h/c) hair flew behind her and her cheeks from rosy, eyes shining bright. She was the most beautiful and humble woman he had ever seen or met. The closest thing to an angel on this planet, he was sure about it.

He loved her more than anything or anyone in his life, and though all he wanted is the girl to know this, he held it back, knowing that if he had control over himself now and stayed silent, later on he could say the sentence as many times as he wanted.

He just had to wait for her to be ready for it and believe that they were truly meant to be together forever.

.::the end::.

my masterlist

#sebastian stan #song drabble #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #seb stan #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #x reader #masterlist #nonstoplover #please don't say you love me #gabrielle aplin #captain marvel #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes

[seblos]

no grave can hold my body down

words: 1,664

series:  dreaming like we'll live forever (but live it like it's now or never)

read on ao3

Carlos dreads lab days in physics.

It was every Friday, tacking the 45 minutes that would be his study hall onto his class.

And the assignments were always partner work. You would think after two years of having him in his class, Mr. Mazzara would begin to understand that Carlos doesn’t exactly have friends.

Well, he does have friends now. He has the people in the show. But most of them are in the grade above him. The ones that are in his grade, like Gina and Ashlyn, are in the honors class. (Why they chose to take honors physics of all classes is beyond him.)

Nevertheless, it leaves Carlos alone and, by default, partnerless for all of their lab assignments.

It was Halloween this particular Friday, and Carlos wanted nothing more than to just go home, change out of his Halloween sweater, (it was black with two skeletons dancing together) and into his costume, (he was dressing up as the little March of the Falsettos character from Falsettos, respectively,) for the cast Halloween party that Ashlyn was throwing.

Unfortunately, before he could do that, though, he had to face the living nightmare that was his physics lab.

He takes a seat in the front of the classroom, gathering his notebook and pen and just hoping that someone will feel bad enough for him that they invite him to their group.

Carlos is met with no such luck, though. When Mr. Mazzara calls for people to partner up, he’s once again left to do the lab on his own.

That is until another figure appears next to him.

Literally appears. The seat next to him that was once empty is now being occupied by a certain blonde-headed spirit.

Seb Matthew-Smith had been following Carlos around for a year now, ever since he choreographed their fall production of High School Musical his sophomore year. From what Carlos has gathered, it was in high school when they were filming the original movie. It was some accident in the theatre that… you know … and caused him to be cursed to the auditorium.

He also didn’t appear until Carlos showed up, leaving them technically the same age. (Where he was before he showed up, Carlos is still trying to figure that one out.)

“Need a hand?” the ghost asks, leaning forwards.

Carlos is still surprised to see him here. So far, he hasn’t been able to leave the auditorium. Most of their conversations have taken place before or after rehearsals, or any other time he’s been able to sneak out of class.

And yet, there he sits in Carlos’s physics class.

He’s about to ask how Seb even got here, before remembering he’s still technically in class. Talking to himself probably wouldn’t go over great with his peers.

Instead, he turns to his teacher. “Mr. Mazzara, can I go work in the hall?”

Thankfully, the lab they’re working on is about speed-conversions and requires them to walk and hop around, (when are the people who make these things going to start making them with actual useful skills? If Carlos wanted to speed-walk, he wouldn’t be trying to skip gym every day,) so Mr. Mazzara gives him the go-ahead.

He gathers his phone, lab sheet, and pencil case, before subtly motioning for Seb to follow him out of the classroom.

“How did you get over here?” he asks the boy, not even batting an eye when the door passes straight through him. “The science wing is like, all the way on the other side of the school from the theater.”

Seb shrugs. “You seemed distressed, so I just… left.”

That’s another thing that’s been happening. The more Carlos talks to Seb, especially about something he feels strong emotions about, the closer he feels to the ghost. Like, spiritually closer, as if their souls are beginning to connect in a way that he can’t quite put words to. (That is, if Seb still has a soul. Are ghosts just souls, or is it the souls leaving their body that makes them die?)

Either way, Seb has been able to sense a lot of Carlos’s emotions recently. He always knew exactly how Carlos feels about rehearsal, making him the perfect outlet for frustration if needed.

Although, recently, Carlos hasn’t been talking about rehearsal as much to Seb. Nowadays, he’s been more interested in Seb’s life— or, more accurately, what his life was back when he still had one of those.

He hasn’t been able to gather much so far, but he treasures what he has. Seb lived on a farm with seven siblings. They had cows and sheep. He went to East High and was set to graduate in 2011 before he died. He was in a few of the school productions, either in the show itself or as the piano accompanist. (Carlos made a mental note to look at some of the old yearbooks in the library.)

And Seb is gay. Not that it really mattered.

Carlos doesn’t know much else besides that. He has bits and pieces that don’t make sense together, but every time he brings them up, like how he died or more about his family, Seb gets really quiet and changes the subject.

On really bad days, Seb will just poof out completely and then come back 15 minutes later when he feels Carlos distressing.

It’s an odd little relationship, what the two of them have, but it works. And Carlos would do anything to help Seb feel alive again.

Even if that means crashing his physics lab.

“Looks like you need a little help with your lab,” he smiles, gesturing towards the papers in his hand.

Carlos rolls his eyes. “I could do it by myself, you know,” he defends.

Seb just raises his eyebrows, still smiling. (The kid almost never stops smiling. Even while dead, he looks livelier than Carlos.)

He sighs, continuing. “But… if you want to time me while I do the speed things, it would be helpful,” he admits. He holds out his phone towards the ghost, but just as Seb is about to take it, Carlos pulls back. “But keep it on the ground so it doesn’t look like it’s floating in midair. And don’t laugh at me!”

“I would never laugh at you,” Seb says, laughing.

He hesitates before handing his phone over again, this time allowing for the boy to take it. Luckily, it doesn’t pass right through his hands and drop on the floor like he was having trouble with the first time Carlos met him. All Carlos can hope is that nobody is watching him through the window on the classroom door.

“What do you have to do?” Seb asks, settling on the floor and leaning against the wall in the hallway. (Carlos has no idea how he can choose to go through some things and not go through others.)

He reads out the directions. “Hop 5 meters on one foot. Then do the same for 10m and 15m. Record your speed for each distance.”

Which won’t be mortifying at all to do alone, obviously, judging by Seb’s grin.

As Carlos measures out the distance with the yardstick Mr. Mazzara gave him, the ghost kept talking. “So what were you upset about, anyway?”

He sounds genuinely interested in helping, so Carlos explains his situation. “I don’t have any friends in this class, and we always have partner labs that I just end up doing alone.”

“Well, you’re not alone now,” Seb says. “We’re friends.”

“Yeah, not that anyone else knows,” Carlos laughs more to himself than to the spirit’s comment.

“Doesn’t matter who knows. Just matters that you have me,” Seb points out.

Carlos doesn’t respond. “Start the timer,” he says instead.

While he’s hopping down to the 5 meter mark, though, he can’t help and think about what Seb said. It was true, it didn’t really matter who knew about him. Although… it could be interesting if he did tell someone about the ghost from the theater. Perhaps Ashlyn would believe him.

The thought of his friend reminds him of their party later, then of what day it was, and a question sparks in his mind. He stops hopping. “Why are you here today, anyway?”

“Your speed was 3.14 seconds. And what do you mean? I told you already I came because you were upset.”

“Well, yeah, but today is Halloween. Shouldn’t you be out haunting people, or whatever ghosts do today.”

Seb’s face falls, and Carlos immediately regrets bringing anything up.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet, but I don’t exactly have any ghost friends. I wouldn’t have anywhere to go even if I could leave the theater now on my own.”

“Oh, so that’s why you follow me around all the time,” Carlos teases, trying to lighten the mood so Seb doesn’t poof out.

“Well, that and because I like you,” he responds with the same tone, and Carlos is taken aback a little bit. (Never in his life did he think a ghost would be flirting with him on Halloween.) (At least, he thinks it’s flirting.)

They finish the rest of the lab in silence. He wishes there was a way to bring Seb around to places. His friends would love him if they could meet him. But there has to be a reason he’s the only one who can…

“Wanna come to our Halloween party?” he asks when they finish up, more as a joke but hoping that maybe Seb would consider. (He at least would have an escape if anything happened that left him isolated tonight.) “You would make a great sheet ghost.”

“I don’t think I can voluntarily go places.”

“Well, then, maybe I’ll have a panic attack just to summon you.”

“No,” Seb hands Carlos his phone, leading him to the door. “Enjoy tonight. I’ll be here to hear about it tomorrow.”

And with that, he poofs out, leaving Carlos to enter his classroom alone again.

#seblos #seb matthew smith #carlos rodriguez #hsmtmts #high school musical the muiscal the series #my writing #dreaming like we'll live forever (but live it like its now or never)

[fionnhq]

❛ new york’s very own fionn fox was spotted on broadway street in saint laurent combat boots. your resemblance to matthew daddario is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty-seventh birthday bash. while living in new york, you’ve been labeled as being austere, but also methodical. i guess being a virgo explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be a tourbus packed with strangers, a black eye concealed by sunglasses, text messages left on read. & ( cismale & he/him )

so for those of you i don’t know i’m bee & i’m back with a second character because why tf not. as usual i’m a hoe for plots so hmu either on here or discord @ mercury#7589. also this is a side blog so if i’m not following you that’s because i already am on seb ok here’s what i have so far and it will probably change as i develop him but ? ? yeah

basics

full name: fionn alexander fox birth date: august 25th, 1992 occupation: musician/singer sexuality: bisexual birth place: nyc, new york nationality: american height: 6′2″ weight: 195 lbs afflictions: anxiety smokes/drinks/drugs: no/sometimes/rarely

background

fionn is the first born child to a mother and father who were household names for their modeling and film making, respectively, so it was basically inevitable that he would be thrust into the spotlight at a very early age. he was exposed to fame and wealth before he could even understand what they were

obviously, this is was a very exciting endeavor for a young child who felt like he had the world at his fingertips (and he pretty much did). rather quickly fionn came to recognize that there was a catch

he began to realize that he was different from other people, and that with privilege came people who tried to use him to gain what he had and they didn’t. everyone wanted to be around him but very few for the right reasons. he was desired, but for things beyond his control.

as time went on he came more and more closed off, various bad experiences making him distrustful and cautious. his circle of friends became smaller and smaller, despite always being surrounded by hoards of people. the bonds he formed were easily broken and he learned to be detached

little did he know the people he was being used by the most were his parents, who at as young as six years old started documenting his life for millions of people to watch on television. it all became about the views and the image and if he wasn’t interesting, he wasn’t anything

this was a lot of pressure for him. he was constantly anxious despite how well he hid it & there was a silent understanding in their home that it wasn’t acceptable to let it hold him back. he was medicated for most of his teenage years

he was fairly young when he discovered where his talents lied, which was neither in fashion or film like his parents. instead he had an affinity for music, which his family was fine with as long as he was the best at whatever he did

he had access to all the top resources and was given a vocal coach and guitar lessons and it wasn’t long before they had decided it was time for him to start making a name for himself

when he was sixteen his dad set him up with three other boys his age who he found through his various connections & they formed what would be a top-charting boyband. publicly, they were described as being friends their whole lives but the reality of it was that they’d never met each other before.

it wasn’t exactly what fionn wanted be doing, but he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. it was fun at first but as the years went on and they gained more and more popularly fionn found that the facade was exhausting

they all had their own identities and fionn was kind of portrayed as the ‘bad boy’ because he had a bit of a temper and his introversion was taken as coldness. it wasn’t completely true but that’s what worked for him

fionn felt drained. his relationships with the other members felt strained behind closed doors and he often felt as if he didn’t quite fit in. when he was twenty-one he left the band after a big blowout with one of the other guys who had been sleeping with his girlfriend at the time behind his back. it was bad

this didn’t stop him from almost immediately jumping into a new band known as king james as their guitarist. this band had a much different sound than he was known for and it was a sound that he felt much more invested in

when he was twenty-three, his parents unexpectedly died in a car accident. fionn didn’t know how to deal with this and so he never really did. he had never been good at talking about his feelings and he wasn’t good with grieving either. he kept himself busy with work and hasn’t allowed himself to fully process it to this day. there is still a lot of resentment there tbh

he’s probably destroyed a lot of relationships for this reason, because it’s always like there’s an emotional wall up and barely anyone gets to see past that

personality/facts

fionn really likes his solitude. he’s kind of a loner and he lives with three dogs who he loves immeasurably more than most people

he doesn’t date a lot b/c frankly he has no time but he takes relationships pretty seriously. those people he holds close he does really care about

he is a neat freak to the point of obsession, like he alphabetizes everything and all of his things have a specific spot and if anything is out of place it bothers him until it’s fixed

he has a thing for control, if anything feels like it’s out of his control he panics

he’s probably kind of paranoid now like he just sort of assumes everyone is going to fuck him over which is probably very annoying to everyone that isn’t

he is a perfectionist and holds himself to an unreasonably high standard when it comes to pretty much everything, but especially his work. he can be difficult to work with sometimes because if he thinks he can do better he starts to get frustrated and moody

he hates talking about himself like he’s probably so awkward in interviews which is why he never fucking does them

he’s also a workaholic, like he has to to be busy at all times or he feels like he’s not being productive. he’s a lot tbh

he’s not a big partier. he probably got that out of his system fairly young and these days it’s pretty rare to see him sloppy

he has a lot of internalized anger??? and sometimes he snaps on people and sometimes it’s the wrong people

wanted connections are anything and everything but i’ve brainstormed a few here

#death tw #wealthyhq:intro

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 11th April 2019

- I love Maxine episodes so much. No one is surprised by that at this point but they always work so well and have such nice flow and fit in a lot of the things that I like. When does she get to write every episode?!

- even from the start just getting Eric and David standing outside the B&B while all the ornathologists were running around. That was fun and felt like the old days with random ridiculous things going on in the village. And I loved Bob and Dan running around in their camo trying to take a picture of the bird and getting the wrong one and all the other villagers just being amused. That’s a plot that we would not have gotten this time last year and I’m really happy that kind of stuff is making a comeback because it’s just good lighthearted fun and it’s something that works great with those characters too.

- the Kim/vets stuff was great too. I am so thrilled to see a return to the work related stories. I feel like part of the reason there were so many dumb cheating plots and so many heavy stories in the past couple years, is because a lot of the work drama just got cut out and they had to fill time in other ways. But aside from just the general, I just really like this vets story now that Kim is involved and that’s not something I thought would happen. But her and Rhona together is so good. It brings her down to earth even if she is still scheming. And there’s minimal Graham, which is excellent. I also love that they’re going to continue to build on this relationship by having her get Rhona to help with Jamie, which is a great idea. I’m so happy they’ve managed to turn Kim around now that the Joe Plot is...over?!?

- And Paddy and Vanessa who we can sometimes get annoyed with when they’re in their respective relationships, work so well together in this type of story. I’m so happy Vanessa was finally allowed to go back to work so we could have this content again. That suspension was the worst decision ever. I even loved them both not wanting to tell Chas and Charity about the deal. This kind of content is what will make those relationships work better too because they have each other to bounce this kind of stuff off of. A couple months ago, Paddy and Vanessa sharing a scene was so weird because it had been so long and now it finally feels like it’s supposed to and I’m so glad.

- the Vic/Ellis, Tracy/Billy stuff was also a lot of fun today. I love that Tracy and Billy figured out what Vic was up to straight away and then locked them in but also spent the whole day together anyway so maybe they’ll work on things between them too. Things were thawing anyway. She got a drink with him. And Vic and Ellis singing Cher and drinking champagne together was perfect. They got together so weirdly and we didn’t even realize they’d become anything more so I’m sort of glad they broke up and now we get to see a little of them getting back on the same page. Those early stages are really important for me to enjoy a couple so I’m glad we’re getting that. I just fear for the Big Night Out stuff but for now it’s all lovely and sweet.

- I thought the Liv/Jacob/Maya stuff tonight was great. I’m soooo glad that Jacob said no and broke up with her just so she didn’t have to have sex with him and do something she didn’t want to do even if I was still heartbroken for her.

- I’m so happy Gabby was back with her this week too. I love their friendship and it was so nice seeing her be so supportive with Liv. That hug she gave her was so important too. I adore them when they’re getting along.

- with regards to the ace stuff. I do think it’s kind of time for her to use the word. They really did miss their opportunity when she said she was doing internet research. It’s a bit frustrating because, we all get it and it’s very clear that they did their research because she is saying all the right things. Like the part about ‘sometimes people like me just do it anyway for their partners’ or some variation of that. I just wish they’d stop having her talk around it even if everything she says does ring very true. I still hope she gets to say the word one day.

- that said, my heart broke when she said that she didn’t know how someone was ever going to want someone like her because I feel that so much. And again, I loved that Gabby was there to give her a hug. She needed that and the encouraging words and I’m glad she got them.

- I was also very happy to get to see both Robert and Aaron be there for her tonight. Thank you Maxine. I liked that, you know, we got typical Aaron wanting to kill Jacob and Liv having to talk him down. I loved Robert putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him in his chair. I of course adored the entire conversation with Robert on the bench. Definitely long overdue. I also can imagine them finding the condoms and deciding Robert may be the best one to go have that chat just because Aaron a) doesn’t always do well with that and b) he might get too worked up. In any case, I love Robert and Liv’s relationship and I’m so glad that Maxine loves it too so we get this kind of content. He was so sweet with her and understanding and calm but also so encouraging, telling her she’s brilliant as she is. Plus, I love the added bits of humor in there with the ‘boys are rubbish’ line and the ‘you’re telling me not to get revenge?’ line. Perfection.

- and I liked that that wasn’t it either. I loved that we got Aaron checking in with Robert after the chat and Robert telling him not to worry. I loved that Liv came downstairs and reiterated that nothing happened and that she was okay. They were such good family scenes, the kind we rarely get and the three of them do work well together when given the chance.

- and of course, the surrogacy stuff. There were definitely a few things that could have used more on screen discussion but I was relatively satisfied by what Maxine did manage to get in there within allotted screen time.

- I was happy Aaron questioned Robert’s sudden decision to give him a chance to explain. They were always going to have to do it in the UK for logistics purposes anyway, so I don’t mind his change of heart. I also liked that when he said he didn’t want to make Aaron wait, that Aaron challenged him on that too so he could explain. I don’t know that every writer would do that. I mean, I still wish they would address Aaron’s Seb related issues/motivation. It will forever drive me crazy if they never go back to it and I don’t think they will now but I guess I’ll have to get over it. I at least like that they addressed some of the Robert concerns.

- I also just liked seeing them so excited to be on the same page again and to feel positive after the meeting. Plus, Aaron’s cute little clothing crisis before hand was amazing and I loved Robert telling him he looked great. Also I liked that they managed to get both of their color codes in today. Red and blue earlier and then they changed into their blue and black. Well done.

- even though they’re talking about money still, I like that they’ve moved forward a bit in the process now. We’re no longer stuck completely at square one and that is very needed. Even if this surrogate doesn’t work out, at least they’re at a new stage now.

- I also loved having Liv involved and interested in what was going on and especially that she did it in that sarcastic way. They really felt like a family tonight and it made me very happy.

- with regards to the ‘swimmers’, haha, I do wish they’d had that conversation on screen but I’m glad that they at least said that they’d had a conversation and didn’t just announce that they were going to use Aaron sperm or something. And I know there’s a portion of the fandom that has a massive problem with all of this but like...I don’t think that the characters at least did it in a particularly offensive sort of way. Especially since Maxine consciously had Aaron correct himself and say ‘well it’ll be both of ours obviously’. Plus, I always love Aaron not being able to talk about that sort of thing and his ever popular awkward hand gestures. I love that that’s just his consistent thing. Haha

- and of course the sofa cuddling and giggling at the movie. I’ve waiting ages for them to lay on the sofa like that and I’m so glad it finally happened. Plus the dialogue, talking about their future kid. Again, I loved the family banter with Liv saying Seb was going to be an evil genius and Robert correcting her and saying ‘handsome genius’ was perfect. And of course the comment about Aaron’s eyes. We all use Robert loving Aaron’s eyes so much in fan fic so it was great to get that little moment. And Aaron craning his neck to look up at Robert was lovely. Good content. I am pleased.

- as for the blackmailing. It makes a lot of sense that it was Liv that caught them and that it’s her that’s blackmailing Maya. With anyone else, I feel like it wouldn’t make sense that they would tell but since Liv has been involved this whole time, Maya is able to use that and her alcohol problems to manipulate David to preemptively discredit her and then threaten her with. But I also really liked that Liv brought up Gordon. Yay relevant character history! It’s good that she can take that knowledge and apply it to this situation and see through Maya. But it’s also such a messy situation since Liv was with Jacob and there’s so many hurt feelings on top of everything else. It makes a tough situation even tougher so it all does still feel relatively believable. At least within the context of a soap. And as much as I wouldn’t want robron using pedophile blackmail money to fund their surrogacy, I sort of like that Liv even went there because well...she’s learned from the best living with her brothers. Haha. But yeah...it’s all a mess and I can’t wait for it all to come out so all these kids can start getting help.

- all in all, these were great episodes and again I shall profess my love for Maxine Alderton. She is perfect.

- I hope these thoughts met your expectations @memorieswarm haha

#belated live blogging #emmerdale #robron

[marlonrae]

‘’CONFESSION’’ – RAEMON.

LOC: marlon’s hotel room. @fckmonax

MARLON

''Nah, you didn't have to pay for that long. It ain't like I'm broke anymore.'' sighs, letting out a yawn as he sits on the bed.

MONA

“But still, that money could be better used spoiling my nephew than paying for your hotel because you did something stupid enough for Hazel to kick you out.” takes a seat on the edge of the bed

MARLON

''Brother, I fucked up real big this time.'' shakes head ''Ima be lucky if she ever takes me back.''

MONA

narrows eyes at him, is really curious “What could you have possibly done that’s worse than what we already did? I think you’re just being dramatic.”

MARLON

''Nah...'' scoffs ''What we did ain't nothing compared to what I just did.''

MONA

“That.... concerning.” is actually starting to become worried about him “Marlon, tell me what you did.”

MARLON

gives her a look. ''You seriously have no idea?''

MONA

“Nope.” meets his eyes, waiting for him to spill

MARLON

sighs, hesitating to say it out loud. ''Don't make me say it, you know me enough... think harder.''

MONA

feels tension building up in the room, knows it’s something bad “Well I know what I think it is... I really hope it’s not that, Marlon.”

PRESTON

''If you're thinking something real bad that I can't fix, you got it.'' sighs ''I did that.''

MONA

is silent for probably a whole minute “Why’d you do it?”

MARLON

''He kept trying me...'' shrugs, shaking his head slightly. ''He had been trying me for like, several months now. He owed me $3k, said he wouldn't pay me shit but kept on running his mouth and saying shit he didn't have to say. Talked about my kids, even.''

MONA

clenches and unclenches her jaw as he speaks, is insanely disappointed in him “Who?”

MARLON

takes a deep breath, taking a loooong ass pause. ''Ainsley.'' looks down as he mentions his name.

MONA

is both angry and sad, confused more than anything “Ainsley? I haven’t even seen him in forever. I thought he moved away or something.” shakes head, stands and paces “Why did you lend him $3,000? None of this makes sense.”

MARLON

''He didn't move, he was just being a weirdo. Apparently slept all day and went out to fuck around at night or something and I didn't lend him $3,000.'' shakes head. ''I sold him $3,000 in drugs for this party he was at and then he bailed and played me. – Can you sit the fuck down, your pacing is stressing me out.''

MONA

continues pacing as he tells his story “Oh. That makes a lot more sense. Doesn’t justify if, but it makes sense.” stops moving when he calls her out, takes a seat in the chair this time “You should be stressed out. How do you know this won’t come back on you?”

MARLON

''Because I'm smart, I cleaned my mess... Literally.'' shrugs ''No one's gonna be looking for him and even if they were, they wouldn't be able to trace it back to me.''

MONA

nods and tries to think of all the bases he might not have covered “What about his apartment? You said he still lives there... Lived there. What happens when the landlord realizes that there’s no one paying rent anymore?”

MARLON

''This bitch owed rent, they were threatening to take him out.'' sighs ''He supposedly came from money but he really was a cheap bastard who paid for nothing and still expected us all to treat him as if he was the fucking pope or sum'.''

MONA

is quiet, sighs after a few seconds “None of that makes this okay, Marlon.” shakes her head, stands and starts pacing again “What... uh, what was it like? Like how did it, um, feel?”

MARLON

narrows eyes and gives her a look, almost smirking. ''Bitch I fucking knew you would ask me that shit.'' shakes head with a shrug ''I don't know, though. I was mad, felt like I was in some type of trance and when I snapped out of it, he was out.''

MONA

laughs and rolls her eyes “Shut up.” listens close as he describes it “Huh. That sounds kind of lame. I have no desire to partake.” sighs and sits back down

MARLON

''It felt kinda good, though.'' smirks, biting down at his bottom lip. ''Like, you know when Bundy said there's apparently nothing better than feeling a person's last breath leave their body? I didn't actually experience any of that but it felt good to let the anger out, like, it was therapeutic.'' covers his face with his hands and sighs, revealing his face again. ''I really am fucked up.''

MONA

listens, watches wide eyed as he explains the feeling, gets chills “Okay, thats what I wanted to hear.” switches seats to sit next to him again, pulls him into a hug, whispers “Shut up. If you’re fucked up, I’m fucked up. I got you.”

MARLON

laughs, feeling oddly lucky to have Mona in his life ''You really are fucked up.'' chuckles, hugging her tightly, thankful for her presence and support. ''Dude, but I gotta tell you.. Oh my god, there was so much blood.''

MONA

laughs and pulls away “Yeah, I’ve heard about that! That you never truly understand how much blood is in a body until you’re in the presence of a bleeding body.” looks whimsically into the distance

MARLON

eyes wide open ''Bro, there's like ten times more blood when you stab someone. It was ridiculous.''

MONA

is oddly jealous that she wasn’t there, shakes it off “But ok. how does this all relate to Hazel kicking you out? You didn’t tell her, did you?”

MARLON

''That's where I fucked up...'' sighs ''...I hid for two days. Chopping this dudes body, cleaning my mess, covering my tracks, going over everything a million times again and again and of course she got worried, texted my friend Josh who told her I was completely fine because he called me on my other phone she didn't even know I had and then I kinda freaked out and reached out to her and apologized and told her what I did.''

MONA

sits in silence even after he finishes speaking, shakes her head “There are a million lies you could’ve told her that would have been better than the truth.” sighs “What if she wakes up one day and decides you’re too dangerous to be around Seb or something?”

MARLON

scoffs ''She already decided that.''

MONA

rolls eyes “Idiot.”

MARLON

''Me or her?'' looks confused ''What do you think I'm doing out here? She don't want me around her or the kids.''

MONA

“You. Obviously.”

MARLON

''But it's not like I would do anything to my family.'' sighs out of frustration.

MONA

“I know that and she knows that.” sighs and shakes her head “But she also knows what you’re capable of now.”

MARLON

''I'm capable of taking someone down if they keep messing with me, yes.'' makes eye contact. ''I don't regret it.''

MONA

“Yeah, I get that.” shakes head and stands “I just don’t think you should’ve told her.”

MARLON

''Yeah, I regret telling her.'' sighs ''Like, I could've lived without telling her but at the same time I don't wanna keep shit from her anymore.''

MONA

“Marlon. It’s cute and all that love Hazel so much and respect her enough to not want to keep secrets...” pauses for emphasis, gathers her stuff “but THIS is a secret you were better off keeping.” sighs “I should go.”

MARLON

looks down, knowing she was right. – suddenly pulls his knife out and cuts the palm of his hand, quickly standing and taking her hand, asking no questions and doing a smaller cut on her palm. shaking her hand. ''Promise me you won't tell anyone.'' makes eye contact, still holding her hand in a spontaneous blood pact.

MONA

“Marlon, wh-“ eyes widen when she realizes what’s happening “OW!” feels tears quickly forming “Why? We’ve already done that once before and it’s not like I was planning on telling anyway you weirdo.” grabs a tissue to stop the bleeding, hands him one as well “Now I’m gonna have two scars.” *shakes head and chuckles *

MARLON

rolls eyes when she whines and sees the tears forming, takes her hand AGAIN. ''You didn't promise this time. Promise!'' raises eyebrows expectantly ''The sooner you promise, the faster you can start crying, and stop playing, warriors have scars. Scars are cool.''

MONA

“Oh my god! I promise, okay? Of course, I promise.” rolls eyes, and wipes away her tears “And that’s not the same knife, is it?”

MARLON

nods and smiles ''Thank you.'' grabs the tissue, cleans the knife before pressing the tissue against her palm. ''Of course not, that one don't exist anymore.''

MONA

“Good. I would’ve vomited.” frowns as the bleeding continues, checks time “I should really head home. If I’m gone too long, Fabian will probably use it against me.”

MARLON

''We can take him out too, you know?'' shrugs, actually joking this time ''I'm KIDDING, don't kill me now.''

MONA

laughs out loud “You are awful. So awful.” is still high key laughing

MARLON

''I'm pro now and this time you could be there to watch.'' laughs along with her ''Get the fuck outta here.'' laughs and pushes her. ''Wait, give me a hug.''

MONA

“I’m definitely going to hell just for this conversation.” almost makes it to the door, but doesn’t hesitate to turn around and hug him when he asked “Awww I almost forgot for a sec how much I love you.” hugs him tightly for a few seconds, honestly still pretty worried about him “I’ll swing by tomorrow too check in.” opens the door to leave

MARLON

hugs her back jus as tightly. ''You're rider, bug. I love you.'' pulls away and nods, smiling at her. ''I appreciate that, thank you.'' goes back to bed

[THE END]

#thread – chat 01 #&.raemon

[exoticarmy127]

Sunset Boys (BTS, OC) Part 2

PARTS | 01

The house was pretty.

Sunny thought that if she was being forced to stay here then at least the place she would be staying in was nice. The ride going there was equally charming with its winding sandy roads and the sight of the ocean stretching on her right in a calming blue across the horizon.

When the car finally slowed to a stop, Sunny gaped up a small hill from her window where a yellow, two-story house sat, facing the most gorgeous beach view. They climbed up the wooden steps and she smiled when she saw the cute, wooden, picket-fenced house up close.

“Welcome home.” Jun said as he opened the front door and motioned for her to go in. “Well, at least for the next few weeks.”

Sunny was too busy marveling at the place to even comment. The interior was pretty simple and felt very homey. White walls covered the inside with carved wooden paneling and a yellow birch hardwood flooring. In the foyer, there was a huge portrait hung of a man in a sailor’s uniform (Jun explained it was from the original owner of the house and just decided to keep it because removing it would ruin the whole aesthetic of the interior design), and in the living room was a bookshelf, a TV set and small coffee table in front of a comfy two-seater couch. A balcony double-door stood at the opposite side with sheer white drapes dancing in the wind against it, letting in the scent of fresh air and saltwater.

“I usually do my work in my study,” Jun pointed at the door at the opposite end of the hall. Sunny knew her father was a writer and nodded as he pointed to his office. “So, that’s where you’ll usually find me. Other than that room, you’re free to go about the house. Bringing friends over is okay but no parties—”

“Dad.” Sunny chuckled, stopping him. Her mother warned her that he hadn’t had much parenting experience and that she should take it easy on him. “It’s okay. I know, and I don’t really ‘party’.” She smiled at the look of relief that washed over his face. “Can I borrow some books, though?” She glanced at the shelf beside her.

Jun’s eyes twinkled at the mention of books. “You... like to read as well?”

Sunny nodded. She suddenly felt a little shy, since her love from reading was basically fostered by him. Not particular by him but the books he wrote. When she was younger, she believed that if she read his books, she would feel closer to him; that she would at least get to know her father and maybe understand the reason why he left them in the first place. As the thought surfaced, Sunny realized that the latter was partly the reason she agreed to live here for the summer…

“Yeah...I... I read your books. They were really great.”

She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it but her father’s eyes seemed to water beneath his glasses. A couple of seconds passed before he cleared his throat; averting his gaze and removing his glasses to wipe it against his sleeve.  

“Oh, that’s...” he let out a shaky breath, smiling. “That’s wonderful, Sunny. Really wonderful.”

An awkward silence settled between them once more so, Sunny let her eyes wander across the room, her gaze settling on a desk right beside the doorway leading to the dining room where several photo frames stood. Her gaze softened when she spotted a familiar wedding photo.

The doorbell sounded all of a sudden and Jun excused himself to get it, leaving Sunny to check out the photos. She smiled upon seeing a shot of her mother and she from when Sunny was probably ten years old. They were smiling brightly, her mother’s arms wrapped against her little waist as she leaned her chin on her shoulder. There was another where her mother was carrying her on her arm, standing at the base of a hill with the yellow house just behind them. As she surveyed the frames, Sunny realized that all of the pictures where of them: her father, mother and she. No one else. The fact made her heart warm and she felt her initial discomfort disappearing, uncoiling in the pit of her stomach.

“Oh, hello there.”

Sunny spun around at the unfamiliar voice, surprised to see an equally unfamiliar boy in a sleeveless shirt and shorts, carrying a big box in his arms.

“Uh…hi.” She mumbled, a little mesmerized by his smile. She never thought anything could look so bright.

“You must be Sunny.” He said as he passed her, moving towards the kitchen to her left. Sunny pressed her lips and followed him, watching him move around the room swiftly and with ease like he lived there all his life. He placed the goods from the box and into their respective cabinets, placing chilled items in the refrigerator, arranging the fruits in a bowl on the table, and even filling up the water dispenser.

“Thanks, Hoseok. I really appreciate you delivering on short notice.” Jun walked in with a couple of plastic bags and placed them on the dining room table. Whatever was in those bags smelled amazing… like grilled squid and butter-sautéed shrimp.

“No problem, Mr. White. Always happy to help.”

Sunny bit her lip to prevent from smiling. She bet Hoseok was named employee of the month several times with that million-dollar smile.

“Oh! This is my daughter, Sunny.”

Hoseok’s gaze turned towards her, then reached out his hand to shake. “Hoseok Jung. But you can call me Hobi.”

“Hobi?” She asked with a smile as she took his hand. They were slightly calloused, but so very warm.

“My friends call me that. Actually, almost everyone on the island do.” He chuckled. “Are you staying for long?”

“For the remaining of the summer. If she likes it here, she might go to Seafare in the fall.” Jun answered for her, the mention of the school making Sunny wince a little. She wasn’t even sure about staying.

“Oh, that’s where I go!” Hoseok—Hobi— grinned.  “If ever you need someone to show you around, I’ll be happy to do that.”

Sunny smiled at the offer, unsure how she already felt so comfortable around him even when they had just met.

“Uh, cool. Thanks.”

“Oh and hey, it’s Friday today and there’s usually a band playing at Seb’s. It’s around eight. You should come!” Hobi invited then glanced at Jun with a polite smile. “If you don’t have plans already that is. And of course, you’re invited too, Mr. White!”

Jun chuckled. “I think I’m a little too old to be joining you kids on a Friday night.” He glanced at Sunny with a chuckle. “But you should go, honey. Great way to get to know everyone. Most of the kids your age hang-out there.”

“Awesome!” Hobi looked back at her. “Hope to see you later then, yeah?” Sunny only smiled. “I better get going. I have another delivery.”

They bid their goodbyes and Sunny watched him from the balcony; getting into a rusty red truck and driving away, leaving smoke and dust behind.

“Hoseok Jung.” Jun said behind her, making her turn at the fond tone in his voice. “He’s a good kid. He’s one of the first people I met on the island...well, it was actually his mother and he was just ten, then. I practically watched him grow up.”

A certain heaviness fell upon Sunny’s chest; almost melancholic but mixed with annoyance. She would never admit it out loud, but she felt a little jealous at the fact that her father had watched Hobi grow, someone who wasn’t even his family, while he let himself be away from his only daughter for years.

“Um. Yeah… I’m going to go up to rest up a bit.” She turned from him and made her way inside when Jun called:

“Oh? Don’t you want to eat first? There’s some shrimp. I know you love those.”

She did. But just because he knew that, didn’t mean he would easily be forgiven for the other things he missed.

“Not hungry.” There was a pause and Sunny ignored how Jun’s expression fell.

“Oh, okay. Well your room’s upstairs. First door on the right.”

“Thanks.” She said and left without another word nor a glance at her father.

“How’s the island, sweetheart?” Her mother, Hanna, asked. Sunny had called her the moment she got settled in her room. She was lying in her canopy bed with the balcony doors open to let the cool summer winds in.

“It’s great. Really pretty.”

“Did you make new friends already?”

“I was barely here for two hours, mom.” Sunny chuckled as she toyed with a loose thread on her cardigan. “But I did meet someone… a Hobi.”

“You met a hobbit?”

“No!” She laughed. “His name is Hobi, but he’s real name’s Hoseok. Hobi’s just his nickname.”

“Nickname basis already? See? You did make a new friend!”

“I guess.” She snorted then remembered the young blue-eyed captain at the port. “I got to chat with the boat’s captain a while ago too. It was weird…” she suddenly thought back to when the boy had waved and spoken to the water but said instead: “He looked way too young to be manning a ship, in my opinion.”

“And that’s girl language for: he’s really cute?”

“Eh.” She shrugged, confirming nor denying it. Jungkook was cute. That was until he started talking to the water. That just made him strange…and every girl knew that the cute strange ones were the ones you had to watch out for.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Hanna chuckled. “I miss you already.”

Sunny rolled her eyes. “Then why did you send me off here?”

“Sweetheart, you know why.”

She doesn’t really. But Sunny was good at pretending to understand. She spent years doing it that it was almost too easy letting the lie slip from her lips.

“I know. It’s just…awkward around him.”

“I know, love. But trust me, you need this right now.”

“Need this? Why?” She asked but she was just met by silence on the other line. “Mom?”

“Everything will make sense soon, Sunny. I promise.”

If there was one thing Sunny hated, it was being kept in the dark. She wasn’t sure why her mother was speaking in riddles or why her father had suddenly wanted to take her in for the summer after many years of being away. After leaving them—leaving her—without an explanation.

“What are you keeping from me?” She asked, getting to the point and not bothering to hide the frustration in her tone. She had enough of secrets. For once, she just wanted a straight and honest answer.

There was a voice in the background, a call from one of Hanna’s colleagues in the firm, she supposed. Hanna sighed and Sunny just knew her honest and straight answer would have to wait yet again.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I have to go. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Sunny replied flatly before hanging up and lying down the pillows with a huff. She rubbed her forehead and willed herself to relax; to not stress about the previous conversation. It was summertime and she should be having fun under the sun. But she just felt trapped in the dark, somehow; knee-deep in secrets and reasons she wanted to make sense of but nobody was giving her any clues or straight answers.

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, until her breathing slowed in a calm rhythm, finally letting sleep take over her.

A couple of hours later, Sunny woke up to a pink sky and the sun hanging low in the horizon. She gawked at the sight from her balcony, seeing the sun, a bright orange shade, looking like it was taking a dip in the waters. She looked down at her watch to check the time, and remembered Hobi’s invitation earlier that day.

Better than staying here, she thought and proceeded to put on a simple dress and flip flops, deciding to take Hobi’s offer on going to Seb’s.

Before she left for the island, her mother had reminded her to ‘have fun’. For someone who worked for a law firm and was currently raising a teenager, many would find it a weird request for a mother to actually encourage her child to go out and party. But it was only because Sunny was unlike most kids her age. She would rather stay in on a Friday night, choosing Netflix and chill over house parties.  

But Sunny knew her mother was right. She should meet new people and get to know the island, at least. It would be good to know some faces.

The house was quiet when she climbed down to the first floor. The balcony doors were shut and the drapes tied up, showing a view of the sky that had now turned dark through the glass, and the vast sea looking like an endless void. Turning towards the opposite hall, Sunny made her way to the room where she supposed her father would be.

She knocked once upon arriving at the study and heard shuffles before the door swung open, revealing Jun with his glasses askew and hair disheveled like he had ran his fingers through them several times in exasperation.

“Sunny.” His eyes widened slightly but stepped aside to let her through. “Come in—”

“No need.” She said, smiling politely, eyes glancing over his shoulder and glimpsing papers stacked messily on his work table. “I just came to say that I’ll be heading to Seb’s.”

Jun blinked once, twice then nodded as the realization hit him. “Oh! Yes, of course. Hobi’s invite. Yes… would you like me to take you?”

“No, it’s okay. Although, directions would be nice.”

Jun looked a little sad that she had refused but nodded anyway and gave her directions. “It’s just down the road by the wharf, a 10-minute walk. There’s a sign. You won’t miss it.”

“Okay, thanks.” She began to turn away when Jun suddenly called:

“Sunny?”

She looked over her shoulder, questioning. “Yes?”

Jun paused, like he was calculating his words. And Sunny observed his expression, catching an apprehensive and worrisome look in his eyes. “Just... not too late, okay? And be careful.”

Sunny didn’t even plan on staying out too long but she understood her father’s worry. Every parent did it. Even her mom, who often told her to go out, ended up texting her by the hour to check up on her.

“I won’t. I uh...” she held up her phone, hoping it would assure him. “I’ll have this on me.”

Jun smiled, looking relieved and waved goodbye as she turned to leave.

The night sky was much prettier on the island. Sunny found herself gazing at the horizon as she walked the sandy path towards the wharf, letting the wind blow through her dark locks. It was still warm but not too hot that she would sweat and the night winds were already making an entrance, pulling down the temperature little by little. She feared she might need a jacket going home.

At the end of the road, she spotted Seb’s on top of the pier’s bridge. It was a neon sign in big, bold letters, casting blue and red shadows across the darkening pier. Her father was right: she couldn’t have missed it. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there just staring when a male’s voice entered her ears.

“If you’re looking for good food, I would suggest giving the diner on the other side of the beach a visit instead.”

Sunny spun, jumping slightly in surprise. She was welcomed by the sight of a man, leaning against the wooden railing by the stairs that should lead up to the wharf. He was pale as moonlight, blonde hair so light it looked almost white. He wore black from head to toe, sporting combat boots and a black suit jacket that was definitely too hot to wear in this weather.

“Sorry. Did I scare you?” He tilted his head, a smirk ghosting his lips.

“No, just surprised.” Sunny said nonchalantly.

“You’re new.”

“And you would know how?”

“I’ve been in this island for a while. Trust me, I would know.”

“How long exactly?”

His stare was grim but Sunny thought he didn’t have the most expressive face to begin with.

“Long enough.”

“There you are!”

Both their gazes followed the voice, revealing a beautiful woman in a long peach dress; the fabric flimsy and pooled at her feet. She stepped down the stairs—gracefully, the way a princess would descend a flight of stairs, and was instantly at the man’s side, hooking her arm on his and leaning close. At their proximity, Sunny could see how pretty she was: with clear, pale skin, long black hair and a friendly smile. Sunny glanced at the man again and caught him looking down at the beautiful woman with an adoring gaze, a smile sneaking against his lips.

They must be together, Sunny thought.

“You can’t just keep disappearing all of a sudden.” She hissed at him and pinched his bicep, while the man just smiled wider, more amused than threatened.

The girl suddenly glanced at me, smiling. “Oh, hello.” She glanced at the man again. “Who’s this?”

Sunny was about to answer and introduce herself when to her surprise, the man beat her to it.

“Sunny. Sunny White.” He said and Sunny looked at him, bewildered. She couldn’t remember having told him her name earlier.

“White?” The girl’s eyebrows raised. “Any relations to Mr. White who lives at the yellow house down the road?”

“My dad.”

The girl’s eyes widened slightly. “Interesting. I never knew he had a daughter.”

“Well, we don’t see each other much.” As the words left her mouth, Sunny felt a slight remorse. A heavy feeling settled on her chest; a sadness she never intended to feel but surfaced unwillingly. When she looked up, the girl was no longer smiling and had an almost pitying look on her face.

Was I really that transparent?

“I’m Suran, by the way.” She said as she reached out her hand. Sunny took it and shivered. Her hand was cold.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Well. We...hope to see you around.” She smiled just as a ringing pierced through the night air. She looked down at her pocket and retrieved an iPhone, looking down at the screen with a sigh. “Excuse me, I have to take this.” She glanced at the man beside him and unhooked her arm from his. “I’ll meet you at the car.”

Once she was gone, the man only gave Sunny a long, contemplating look before nodding once in farewell and turning away to follow Suran.

“Hey!” She called out before she could stop herself. The man turned, looking over his shoulder with his hands in his pockets as he gave her an inquisitive gaze.

“Yes?”

She huffed a breath, sizing up the man for a second before finally saying, “You know my name, but I don’t know yours.”

The man smirked at that before turning away again. Before he could walk away, however, Sunny spoke once more, adamant on her intention.

“That’s a little bit unfair, isn’t it?”

The man paused for a second and Sunny was going to let it go, thinking perhaps it wasn’t even worth it when he replied:

“It’s Yoongi.” And then he walked away, leaving Sunny still wondering how on earth he knew her name.

To be continued

And the plot thickens. haha do you want more?

- Kaye Allen

#bts scenarios #bangtan scenarios #BTS #Hoseok scenarios #Jungkook scenarios #Yoongi scenarios #Jimin scenarios #Suga scenarios #Taehyung scenarios #Namjoon scenarios #Jin scenarios #J-Hope scenarios #RM scenarios #Networkbangtan #kpop scenarios

[ajokeformur-ray]

Lil scenario where Seb's S/O had someone sexually harass them, and they're obviously trying to not let it affect them? But Seb can still tell they've recently been trying to act/be seen as cute and sweet by him, rather than sexually appealing? And them having to try and not remember the encounter whenever they're dressing/doing normal things, even if they don't say they're remembering it again out-loud? And how he helps them feel better? 🖤💖🖤

TW - brief mentions being sexually harrassed - no details given but it is alluded to so if this triggers i’d recommend skipping this. this is also slightly personalised as you’re a v dear friend to me and i wanna comfort you in some way from across the ocean to you :’3333

You had been home less than five minutes before Sebastian was there. He didn’t touch you, he didn’t even approach you. He just stood before you, keeping his distance. You hadn’t said a word to him and yet he knew. He always knew, for better or for worse, what you needed from him.

“How was your ice skating, my lady?”

You shrugged. “I figured out another move on the ice and didn’t fall over.” You tapered off and Sebastian caught the minute wince, the disgust and discomfort very obvious in your eyes.

He repressed a sigh. He knew something was going on, it had been for a few days, but out of respect for you and your feelings he hadn’t said anything. But now... Now, he was getting frustrated. How could he help unless he knew what the issue was?

“That boy,” Sebastian put such an emphasis on the word that it was an insult, “Has done something inappropriate towards you again.” It wasn’t a question.

“How did you -?”

Sebastian took a step forward then, though he kept one foot raised, ready to step back as soon as he saw another flash of something negative in your eyes. “I know you, my love. I know when you are not all right.”

“I’ve been trying to not let it affect me, but -”

Sebastian smoothly cut across you, finishing your sentence. “But you’re only human.”

Still staying at least a foot away from you, Sebastian walked past to and to your wardrobe, pulling out your current favourite outfit. It was black and gold and made you feel like the Goddess you were.

“You haven’t worn this for some time.”

“Yeah, I just haven’t wanted anyone to comment on me the way he did. It makes me feel disgusting.”

Sebastian looked at you, his burgundy eyes unreadable. He looked through you, to your soul, and you knew that he was analysing your body language, your tone, your mood... He was asking you how you were without verbally asking, seeking the answers for himself. He knew that to talk about it would make you uncomfortable. Somehow, his gaze wasn’t intrusive. It was comforting, in a way, to be looked at so deeply by a demon.

Finally, he spoke, his eyes never leaving yours. “While I understand that this is hard for you, to not wear the things that you like to wear would give this boy power over you. He would win.” There was something brewing within Sebastian’s eyes and it spelt good things... For you, at least.

“I know, but...” You lacked the words to explain how disgusted and objectified you felt by what had happened at the ice rink, a place you were supposed to enjoy, a place which connected you to one of your favourite fandoms; Yuri! On Ice.

Sebastian did come back to your side then, the outfit hanging over one shoulder as he took both of your hands in his larger ones. “You are beautiful, Rachel. Not just in body, we will not focus on that. but your soul is simply captivating. This boy, this insignificant ant, is so lonely, so unaware of the ways in which he can love a woman, that he only sees her body. But I see the person, the soul, and you’re unlike any human I’ve ever met.” 

One hand molded to the shape of your cheek and you found yourself leaning into it, wanting this simple comfort from Sebastian. His words washed over you, washed through you. You still felt unsettled and he could feel it. Had you been anyone else he would have fed off it, encouraged it, but for you it was the worst thing. He wanted you to be comfortable in who you were, undeterred by the complete lack of respect shown to you by a stranger.

“When next you go out on the ice, my love, think only of that which makes you happy. Think of Vitya and Yuri, those humans you love almost as much as they love each other. Think of Yurio and his ‘cute mad face’,” He had unknowingly quoted something, though he couldn’t remember what, “And think of all the ways in which you can practice and get better at a newfound interest. He is not allowed control or power over you unless you give it to him. Keep that beautiful face of yours raised up to the sky, and be your best. He can be nothing to you.”

Though there was still lingering discomfort, as was to be expected, Sebastian hoped that he had managed to soothe something within you.

Bonus Scene just for you:

Satisfied that he had found the right house, Sebastian flash-stepped into the home of the human who had affected you. Black tendrils of inky nothingness leaked into the boy’s bedroom, and Sebastian reappeared solidly, his demon form coming to the light more and more as he allowed his anger to influence him.

The boy terrified, was wide-eyed and paralysed with fear.

Good.

“Yes, you see it, don’t you? I am more than human.” Sebastian chuckled, advancing towards the pathetic sobbing mess on the floor. He bent down low, his face inches from him, and said, “If you so much as look at another woman at the ice rink you visit, I will visit you again and then you shall see just how uncomfortable it is to be objectified. Do I make myself clear?” His voice had dropped several octaves, his demon voice sounding as though metal shards were scraping against his vocal chords.

Sebastian grinned then, his teeth elongated, his smile too wide for his face, his eyes black and gaping, sunken into their sockets, and then he disappeared and the atmosphere returned to normal, leaving only a single black feather behind as evidence.

SebastianMichaelis: @misfitgirl3390 @liemarce @maelikimichaelis @redheadedkillerprincess @niponmirai02 @artsy-jandi @misfitgirlwrites @tsukuyomi011 @shingeki-no-julchen @fandomfuel @dragonesskunoichi

Black Butler: @theoriginalgodsgirlrachel @ll-kirra-ll @bingewatchingmylifegoby  @sky-the-llama @miyakokurono @amoureux-de-la-litterature  @mamahost  @misfitgirlwrites @phangirl-ofthe-operra @xiumincancallmebabyanytime @chloeolivialuce   @cardboard-box-of-stuff @grape-vine @tsukuyomi011 @hagridsbeasts @shingeki-no-julchen @konan-rem @dragonesskunoichi

[amorremanet]

takashi shirogane + coping a n d seb + sleep habits

the “character + thing” headcanon meme (aka, “the best of all possible memes, c’mon, you know you wanna”)

Shiro + coping

Shiro voice: “coping? I don’t know her”

Okay, but in all seriousness

It isn’t that Shiro has NO coping skills or coping mechanisms that work for him, and it isn’t that he has no idea how to cope with anything — quite the opposite, really.

But a huge problem for him is that a lot of his coping techniques are, at best, non-ideal and at worst, basically a slow-burn form of self-harm that’s hard to notice because he isn’t obviously crashing and burning, or obviously having some kind of problem, and because he isn’t obviously in trouble, Shiro feels like his techniques must be totally okay

Even if he might acknowledge that they aren’t okay, though? Good luck getting him to actually do anything about that; he’s pretty sure that there are bigger problems

Like, one thing with Shiro is that, for all he values patience and for all he praises forethought, he also gets very easily frustrated if he can’t do something. If that something can’t directly affect whatever the Big Problem of the moment is, then Shiro needs to at least feel like he is Doing Something Productive — which, for him, usually means something like working out.

Maybe it could mean sparring or training with someone, but Shiro is one of those ambiverts who both enjoys being around people and can get destabilized very quickly if he’s left alone for too long, but who also needs a lot of time to himself to just breathe and decompress.

It was like that before he was taken prisoner by the Galra, e.g., a stressful as Hell exam season leading to a big night out and all kinds of hijinks with the other cadets in his class because oh man, everybody needed to just get away from studying, and Shiro would’ve been worried about how his grades would look when they came back so he needed to feel competent and one thing that makes him feel competent is making sure that other people are having a good time — and to a different extent, just being around others while they’re having a good time because who had to learn the hard way about how much his empathy can turn into a Bad Thing for him and how to set boundaries on it? Shiro did

—but then after said night out, he’d retire to his dorm (which probably involved moping, half-asleep, while binge-listening to Fiona Apple, needing to be reminded that it’s generally pretty unhelpful to sleep through lunch and never do anything about it later), and maybe he’d be seen around the gym (with a huge set of headphones on because sure, they’re cumbersome but sometimes, other people don’t always notice earbuds and Shiro wants to please be left alone), and he’d probably only willingly deal with Keith or maybe Matt

Shiro’s time with the Galra has made this tendency worse, but it’s also shoved him into a situation where it’s hard to tell, since he’s the Decisive Head Of Voltron™ now, so he needs all that time alone, but feels like he can’t allow himself to have it or else

(“Or else” what? ……Well, okay, you got him there; Shiro has no idea, “or else what.” But it’d be something Bad, okay, and he is completely certain of this because he just is.)

—but despite the fact that working out can help him clear his head so he can try to deal with things and isn’t inherently bad, Shiro also doesn’t entirely understand this, “moderation” thing you speak of — at least, not when it’s being applied to him.

Sure, he gets it in theory…… but in practice, he has an approach that’s more like, “Okay, it hasn’t cleared my head yet, so clearly, it can’t be that I need to find some other way to deal with whatever is on my mind and troubling me right now; I just have to push harder until it does work.” Sometimes, he makes it work out okay.

Other times, it doesn’t, and Shiro either ends up getting interrupted by something (emergency drill, “a wild Sendak appeared!”, “oh no, the castle is trying to kill everyone!”, Coran begging him to come intervene so Lance and Pidge can’t try to turn something into a screen on which to play their Mercury Gameflux II, literally anything)

……or he ends up with a seriously peeved little brother who is very likely going to yell at him because Keith is worried and he’s scared and unfortunately for everyone, he tends to get angry when he’s scared and then promptly loses control of the volume of his voice (because he’s usually not aware of how loud he’s being until someone points it out)

All of this…… will probably not get any better when Shiro gets back from wherever the Hell he’s hiding. Like, on one hand, it might get so bad that it actually becomes a more visible problem and leads to him getting some kind of help and learning better coping skills (and things like, “Yes, you’re the Decisive Head Of Voltron and all, but you have a right to ask for help with your problems, too”)

……But it could also get a lot worse and Shiro could just get better at repressing everything and acting like everything is fine (relative to the situations they’re in, anyway), and focusing on everybody else’s issues while completely ignoring his own. Only time will tell.

Seb + sleep habits

Seb voice: “sleep habits? Who’s that?”

……yeah, but seriously, though

Let’s not mince words about it: Seb’s sleep habits are unhealthy as shit, and if he maybe talked about them more and/or just took them more seriously (i.e., didn’t brush them off as, like, “I just couldn’t sleep last night, it’s not a big deal, it happens to everybody” [which isn’t untrue, Seb, but the thing is, it doesn’t happen quite so consistently with most people unless there is something Not Good going on for them] or look for tons of excuses about why he couldn’t sleep), then it’s quite possible that he would’ve gotten a depression diagnosis a lot sooner than he actually does in-story

Unfortunately, on one hand, we have one of Seb’s biggest and most common problems in all things ever (namely that he does not think he has any so-called, “real problems,” because that’s silly, why would he have, “real problems”; “real problems” are for literally everyone else in the world because, “they deserve to have ‘real problems’”)

—so, in his mind, of course it’s not a big deal when he can’t sleep but feels useless while he’s lying in bed with his pit-mix Lola, waiting to fall asleep (which makes him feel worse and can all too easily lead him down a self-loathing rabbit hole), so he gives up on that, goes back downstairs, and bakes things while watching whatever’s on TV or in the Blu-Ray/DVD player until he’s finally tired enough to crash on the couch for a couple hours

(which doesn’t really make him feel better and is often an ill-advised waste of his energy reserves, but on the other hand, doing something makes him feel less useless, and lets him temporarily escape the self-loathing rabbit hole — if for no other reason than, “well, he has to focus on his baking, which means he can’t focus on finding reasons to hate himself and/or rehashing old ones” — and he enjoys cooking, especially baking, and especially baking that he knows other people enjoy because he likes making other people happy)

Like, if it were literally anyone else doing anything like that, he’d go, “Oh man, that sounds really bad, are you okay, have you talked to a doctor or someone about it, is something stressing you out, can I help”

or, in an illustration of this double-standard that actually happens in character: the night before the story opens, Seb did exactly what I just said, while Pete intended to go home and get a decent amount of sleep…… but while he was doing a last check on the costumes he’s supervising for the production of A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream that he’s involved in at work right now, he found several rips and missing buttons that no one mentioned to him

He figured it wouldn’t take him that long to fix everything, but he estimated very badly, and by the time he’d finished the task and gotten everything cleaned up again, it was late enough that he decided to crash on the couch in his boss’s office (because, considering the travel time, Pete could get more sleep by doing that than by going home), clean up in the bathroom and throw on one of the spare shirts that he keeps in his locker, then run out to grab breakfast, come back, and act like he totally had not slept in Mitch’s office last night

That worked out pretty well…… until Pete decided to take a follow-up nap during a stretch where he officially had a bit of spare time (“officially” meaning, “it wasn’t on any particular schedule, so technically, he was allowed, but lmao there is no such thing as spare time in the theatre, there just isn’t”)…… which got him told to go home and rest because Mitch would rather not do without his self-described, “Swiss Army thespian,” but if it’s a choice between sending Pete home for the afternoon and risking the chance that something’s amiss with Pete’s health and possibly losing him for at least a month while he goes to rehab again? ……Yeah, Mitch would take the former.

Either way, Pete still got more sleep than his Princess, and they swap stories about their respective low-sleep nights when they meet up at the gallery owned and run by their sponsor (Nick), where Stephen works as curatorial assistant

………and Seb is Concerned about Pete for losing track of time and nearly pulling an accidental all-nighter, but he doesn’t? really?? feel like??? there’s any reason???? for Pete????? to be concerned about him, Seb, having such bad insomnia that he wound up watching a marathon of Catching All-Stars reruns (despite how Seb doesn’t like that show and finds it uncomfortably voyeuristic) while baking a bunch of treats that he doesn’t personally enjoy, but he knows that his parents, Margot, Nick, and Nick’s husband Isaac all like them

(Catching All-Stars is sort of like what would happen if you took the a team of superheroes that’s like the unholy, commercialism-driven mashup of JLA, the Avengers, and Lance “Captain Amazing” Hunt from Mystery Men… and gave them a reality show that is so much like Keeping Up With The Kardashians that some people consider them to be rival shows.)

Because Seb totally understands that these kinds of things are, in general, Not Good. But see, if it’s him in any given situation like this, then his understanding of how Not Good things like this are goes right out the window because…… nope, it’s not a “real problem” if it’s happening to him, that makes no sense because of reasons

—and on the other hand, Seb is just…… depressingly ignorant about a lot of the realities of depression and what “depression” even means (in more than a very vague, “it is a mental illness and a ‘real problem,’ one of the worst ‘real problems’ that I can imagine personally, and you wouldn’t wish it on anybody unless you are a complete douchebag” sense)

If any of his friends or loved ones had ever been told that they were dealing with depression, you can bet that he would have read up on it a lot more and true, he still would’ve encountered some issues here (because of how so much information about all mental health issues is unreliable for one reason or another, and conflicting opinions in the sources [some of which are not reliable sources, but others of which are reliable and just have differences of opinion and approach because mental illness is complicated and difficult], and so on) — but at least Seb would not be quite so astoundingly ignorant about the illness that he’s been living with

Like, when Pete came back from rehab (which… well. He wanted to do an outpatient thing for his addictions — alcohol, Adderall, and cocaine — but his Mama disagreed and he needed her help paying for treatment, and Leilani went, “I feel like inpatient rehab would be better for you, and if you agree to go there, then I will make sure that you never need to worry about the cost of anything related to your treatment”)

—as I was saying.

When Pete came back from his trip to rehab, he’d done a lot of work on his problems with substance abuse, but he had also come to realize that he’d been dealing with anorexia nervosa for long enough that it was hard for him to remember when things had ever been different, which he hadn’t noticed for a lot of reasons

(chief among them: the unfortunately widespread belief that men don’t deal with eating disorders ever, especially not anorexia, because they are Lady Disorders For Women and anorexia nervosa is The Single Most Lady Disorder For Women Of Them All;

the fact that Pete’s presentation had never been as glaringly obvious as a stereotype-riddled Lifetime Original movie or Very Special Episode/Arc about EDs [which, unfortunately, does a lot of damage to people who don’t fit those images or don’t feel like they’re truly “sick enough” to have an ED because they’re “not as bad” as some character in some fictional representation of EDs];

and the fact that his disorder had developed so slowly that he — and everyone else in his life — looked at his symptoms and went, “that’s just some quirky Pete thing that he does that totally falls under the heading of average, non-disordered human variation, right?”)

Seb got to be the first person who heard about this, which would’ve happened even if he hadn’t picked Pete up at the airport because he’s the brother who Pete wishes he could have as a legal part of his family because Pete’s relationship with his biological brother is…… A Mess. And more than that, Pete’s Princess is the person with whom he has the easiest time being vulnerable, and doing things like, “being his most honest self, even when he feels like shit, or he feels ashamed of himself, or he wishes that he could be somebody else instead,” and “admitting when he’s terrified and wants to get well and be okay but he doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to do that” and, “just letting himself cry when he needs to”

But the more important thing is that, at the time Pete told him this and needed to cry and get reassurance from his best friend, Seb was similarly very ignorant about eating disorders.

He knew they existed, he knew they were bad, he knew the vague sketchy details about anorexia and bulimia (his biggest tidbit of knowledge was that he knew enough to differentiate between anorexia nervosa, anorexia mirabilis [i.e., “it’s complicated but there’s a whole wealth of mystical and spiritual writing about how some divine being or other told someone, like St. Catherine of Siena for example, not to eat because piety”], and, “anorexia as absence of appetite, which happens as a symptom of something other than anorexia nervosa”), and he kinda vaguely knew that guys could have eating disorders but largely only by virtue of personal experience

—by which I mean that one of his exes (Rémy) was an actor-slash-model and some of his guy friends or guy coworkers had dealt with EDs in some capacity, and, “well, Julian was never officially diagnosed with an eating disorder or anything, and in fairness here, he had a lot of habits that were all over the map and would’ve made diagnosing him properly really hard, but he had some people concerned about whether or not he had an ED at different points, and then he complained about it to Seb because haha that’s so ridiculous isn’t it but also god how could they think that about him, please agree with him now or at least pay attention to him”

—But when Pete got diagnosed with one in rehab, that was all the reason Seb needed to look into all the things, learn everything he could get his hands on, etc.. because his best friend needed him

But as it stands, none of the people he loves have ever gotten a depression diagnosis, so he remains quite ignorant about the illness he’s living with here

—That sorta got way off from the point, but…… really, depression is a big reason why Seb’s sleep habits are such a mess, and a huge part of the reason why he hasn’t treated them seriously or seen them as an “actual problem” (maybe a minor annoyance at best, but not a “real problem,” so much as, “a thing that happens to everyone and that Seb has to just deal with on his own because no one else would let something like this mess them up so badly” — he says, while he legit feels like what he’s saying is totally accurate, despite knowing that it isn’t even remotely true)…… has been the depression that is a major contributing factor to them in the first place

……Yay? (Not really. Not even a little bit.)

Another contributing factor is one of the potential long-term side-effects of kicking alcohol and opiates — like, it may not happen to absolutely everyone in a similar position to Seb, but both alcohol and opiates act as central nervous system depressants, and one of the more common effects of CNS depressants…… is making you sleepy (which is why, for example, I didn’t take most of the opioid painkiller that I got after dislocating my kneecap while doing the Time Warp in college, because I could handle the pain but could not handle sleeping through my classes).

(……that may be one of the most painfully nerdy things that I’ve ever said, but it remains true)

If you get used to having a shit-ton of CNS depressants in your system, then you can very easily end up with trouble sleeping, and unfortunately, it can continue for even years after you get sober (it doesn’t always, but it can). In Seb’s case, no one prepared him for that or told him that it could very well end up lasting even after he’d detoxed, and it was harder to notice when he was actually still in rehab because all of the therapy involved there took a lot out of him and let him sleep easier than he might’ve done otherwise

…and then, out of all his trips off the wagon in his first thirteen months of trying to stay sober, three of them were directly caused by Seb being torn between desperately wanting to stay sober, but also desperately wanting to fucking sleep (and preferably without any of the nightmares that can also be a long-term side-effect of abusing alcohol and/or opiates, and are exacerbated for Seb by the PTSD that he “totally doesn’t have, because people with real problems have PTSD, so stop devaluing their struggles by saying that Seb has it”)

(do you ever think about your own characters and just look at the camera like you’re on The Office? because I do. constantly. often with this particular human disaster right here.)

Um.

I feel like I had somewhere else I was going to go with this, but it’s wandered so far off of any semblance of an outline and I want to have lunch

So…… uh.

Something moderately less depressing to wrap-up with, I guess: bed-sharing with Seb can potentially be awkward for a lot of people because he is so unreasonably freaking tall, but if you ever want to sleep next to someone because it makes things easier for you to sleep, or you need cuddles, or whatever, Sebastian is a good, sweet cuddler and a very respectful bed-sharer who will probably also make you breakfast

You may need to deal with Lola deciding that she totally fits in the bed too, or being kind of huffy at you because excuse you, but no, see, she is supposed to sleep in the bed with her Person, not you (like, she’s only less of a huffy little shit to Margot and Pete about it because she likes them and she can usually manage to fit into the bed with them there)

He also has a somewhat easier time of sleeping if he’s sharing with someone, but it’s not entirely a magical, “press this button to fix insomnia for the entire evening” thing

Also, breakfast

He will make it for you

……I should really go have lunch now, jeez

#thecorruptedquietone #mine: voltron #memes for ts #mine: headcanons #someone please help takashi shirogane #takashi shirogane #otf: stay with me #kassie watches netflix voltron #sebastian moncrieff: mutant disaster #that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml #ocs tag #pete arden: dramatic disaster #pete x seb #ask box tag #oh jeez and now to cw tag the shit out of this & hope i don't forget something #mental health cw// self harm ref// addiction ref// drugs ref// internalized ableism// #in which shiro has shitty coping mechanisms & sebastian believes he doesn't have any problems bc reasons #eating disorders cw// (mostly vague discussion thereof but…… pete has one & i talk about it some) #keith x shiro #otp: desperately wants to see you