#I know i hurt my fellow trans people

[jaymesdoodles]

I feel like people don't understand how easy it is to fall into exclusionist thinking. Like I was a super accepting kid when I first realized I was queer. Once I realized I was trans, the story really shifted. And I fell into that thinking that their needed to be a certain way of being queer and trans. I needed to fit into a mold. So much of that came out of the fear of homophobia and transphobia. Especially as someone who got harassed and mistreated to the point of detransitioning.

When you're scared of being queer, you'll so desperately attach to anything that help you seem as the "good gay" the "good trans" but something I had to learn about the hard way, was it didn't matter how much I tired to be queer to their liking. They were never going to like it. I could fight and bully my fellow trans and queer people for eternity, but I was never going to fit into whatever mold they wanted.

It's so easy to fall into that thinking. It was especially easy to see so much hate online or other queer people telling you "no its actually not right to be this type of queer or this type of trans. It's problematic." There was so much hate surrounding me in both public and online.

But the thing was? one of the biggest things was being around other queer people. Especially queer elders. This isn't always an easy request, like I know the circumstances can be challenging to for people (I mean I'm an adult disabled queer person living at home, in the same area, with my family and there is absolutely no public transport 😭😭 I know for sure about that)

But hopefully, you'll be able to connect to other queer people eventually. Until then? just step outside of the online bubble. Learn about queer history (omg I'm BEGGING!) Take time to evaluate your beliefs. I just think it's so important.

I know that exclusionist can't be excused. The harm that they've done to the community has been detrimental. But I hope that this shines some light that people can change. That even when people fall down, that rabbit hole. There is a way to climb out. Trust me. It takes work. But I have hope that with these more open conversations about exclusionism and support of "problematic" identities. We can help find their way out. Even if it's just a few. I think that it's important we try? yknow?

#I hate talking about when i was into exclusionism. #i feel very very ashamed about it #I know i hurt my fellow trans people #but I'm glad I've been learning and growing #i love queer people i love our history and community and i was us to grow and learn #i hope we're able to strengthen from everything #we need community and connection more than ever right now #I hope this just helps people see hope in this #jaymes talks #queer #lgbtq+

[joyflameball]

I hate you suicide jokes I hate you suibait I hate you "Hate trans people? Kill yourself!" image I hate you seeing people casually suibait others in conversation I hate you suibaiting anyone I hate you agreeing with someone but then they fucking suibait someone I hate you "I'm suicidal so I can make kys jokes" I hate you untagged sui jokes I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you

#cassie rambles #tw suicide #suicide #ask to tag #suicide tw #in case this post gets big and people are like ''lmao why are you so mad about suibaiting terfs'' #girl terfs don't care #insert that one image that's like #a person labeled ''you'' shooting a gun labeled ''bodyshaming'' at a guy labeled ''person you don't like but who does not care'' #and it bounces off and hits a guy labeled ''person you care about who now knows you consider part of them ugly'' #except it's ''you'' ''suibait'' ''terf who does not care'' #''fellow trans person scrolling through the comments who you've triggered with your suibait'' #BECAUSE THAT IS ALL IT DOES #YOU ARE HELPING NO ONE AND HURTING FELLOW TRANS PEOPLE #and additionally since apparently suibait is okay now ig #SUICIDE JOKES HAVE LITERALLY MADE MY SUICIDAL THOUGHTS COME BACK #FUCK YOU #FUCK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE #YOU ARE FUCKING SELFISH ASSHOLES WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHERS #I FUCKING HATE YOU #ok to rb

[grungepoetica]

Treat Transfems Like the Normal People They Are Challenge (Near-Impossible, Any % Speedrun)

#this is about rita predstrogen but also. just a general thing. god forbid a woman gets triggered about people being weird about her #luckily i haven't seen people being weird on my dash but i HAVE seen people talking about it on my cohost feed #and i don't usually comment on ~discourse~ because it's draining and feels so trivial but like. come on now. #at this point it's reminding me of people saying we shouldn't have empathy for keffals when she was being doxxed because of Everything Else #if you don't like rita THAT MUCH just leave her alone like you would for a cis person you hate. have empathy for your fellow trans people #even if their transness looks different from yours. or if you don't like them. infighting hurts all of us when push comes to shove #also i don't want to say this is White People Behavior #but as a transmasc-ish poc i know how it feels to have all my flaws & worst moments used as proof that i'm inherently dangerous #just saying. #grungepo thoughts #just trans things

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

#discourse cw #transmisogyny cw

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

Hey dad

I'm a transgender (ftm) boy with unsupportive bio parents and tomorrow's my birthday, but bc of where I live and the school system, I'll be dead named over the speakers of the entire school wishing me a 'happy birthday' even though they're celebrating the birth of a baby girl who I don't have any attachments to anymore and nobody seems to want to celebrate their baby boy

My dear birthday boy,

I don't know which time zone you live in but you sent this some hours ago, so I assume "tommorow" is "today" now, so - Happy birthday! Cheers to another trip around the sun, may it be an amazing one! May this year bring more joy than you could ever imagine.

We don't know each other personally, of course, but I can say honestly that I'm so glad you were born, so this day is definitely a reason for me to celebrate as well. Thankyou for being here with us today!

Birthdays can be hard when you're getting misgendered and I can only imagine how painful it must be over the speakers. As I'm a bit late in answering, I assume this already happened, so all that I can say now is just: I'm sorry that happened and I can imagine all the painful feelings it brought up. Hopefully you can leave it behind you quickly and find positive things to look forward. If you can't think of anything, then i'm sure some of my followers will want to wish you a happy birthday as well, so maybe looking through the comments on this post will be something positive and uplifting for you!

You deserve to be celebrated just the way you are. And if it's of any comfort, my life experience (and that of my fellow trans friends) tells me you will be. You got a year older - and as a general rule of thumb getting older also means getting closer to freedom. Time goes on, and it brings new people in your life, and some of them will be lovely and supportive and see the real you.

But that's just a little reminder of the future. You live in the present, and right now and here you are allowed to feel hurt. All feelings are valid, even on a birthday.

For now, my anonymous birthday boy, I'll make a bad dad joke and tell you "Happy birthday, my son-shine!". But seriously, congratulations on growing into the man you are. I'm proud of you and I stand with you.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

[decolonize-the-left]

Why do terfs find the transandrophobia community such an easy target for recruitment?

....you don't think lesbians are especially prone to being targeted despite so many of them being (political) lesbians?

But yeah okay I'll humor your disingenuous question.

They are drawn to transmascs for the same reason they think trans women are oppressive.

TERFs fundamentally have no respect for them or their gender identity. They pretend to be respectful, but disregard it completely. Why? They want to unify with transmascs over something they call "sex based oppression."

It's their latest psyop to try erasing trans people. Their goal is to exploit uneducated transmascs into thinking they experience oppression because of their sex and not their gender identity.

If you can get transmascs to parrot that point, then eventually the logic will reach transfemmes who will undoubtedly be discoursing with them about it. Suddenly the trans community is debating whether our oppression is even due to gender.... And well if that's the case does it Matter if we identify as trans? Should laws even recognize gender over sex at that point?

For obvious reasons TERFs can't "bond" with trans women over "sex based oppression" and manipulate them with the same methods. They also don't want to since they see trans women as men; as The Enemy.

See, idk if you know this but TERFs don't believe transmen are men. They think they're mentally ill women who need to be saved as fellow women. To a TERF this is the same as just having Awful self esteem. Which is so relatable because you know who tanks the self esteem of women?

Men. Only men could make women hate themselves so much that they don't want to identify as their own sex anymore. To a TERF every trans man is a tragedy that gets more pity from them from anything. They think they're helping. They feel sorry for transmen and see them as something that needs to be saved.

So no.

It's not that the transandrophobia community are easier targets than anyone else is.

They aren't targeting transmen because they Like transmen. They don't target them cuz it's Easier to make men hate transwomen.

They target transmen who wanna talk about their experiences because (as people who don't think transmen are real) they want to poison the well that they think is making so many "women" sick in the head in the first place and if it helps hurt "men" in the process then that's better for them.

But like I said at the beginning of the post, this isn't a special exception. It's been a well-known fact that TERFs we're behind early 2000's exclusionary discourse, behind bi/pan discourse, and now seems to be the Cause of transandrophobia discourse.

This isn't new for them or the queer community.

What IS new is that TERFs seem to have successfully convinced yall that some trans people IN the trans community shouldn't be given the permission to create language to talk about their experiences.

At the very least they've already done That much damage.

Their little psyop is literally working and you are in my asks asking why trans men begging to be heard out are easier targets for TERFs?

#asked #answered #transandrophobia #queer #lgbt #trans #transgender

[jax-yacks]

Idk man most of my interactions with the trans community or discussions about the trans community online were about how nonbinary people were just college aged white women wanting to feel special or trans men should be less prioritized when considering trans safety

Or trans men are all truscum like Kalvin Garrah or even worse like Buck Angel

Oh and they were all cringe and gross and nonbinary people were even more cringe and tucutes -- just white people trying to find ways to be oppressed

And actually it's fine if trans women mess up and say things that are hurtful to trans men or nonbinary people or gnc trans people -- why are you holding them to such high standards?? Why are you expecting trans women to even talk about trans men anyway?? Why are you expecting lesbians to care about trans men?? Why are you trying to make women center men???

Because men are the worst! Trans men included! Why would you ever want to be a man? Why would you ever want to date men? Why would you care about men in media? Why would you headcanon a character as a trans man?

Look!! There are trans men and nonbinary people saying the same thing!! Let's parade then around to make sure you know we have the higher ground! Why can't you just agree that you're terrible? Trans women who agree with you are just pickmes

...........

Do you know what it's like to spend the first almost decade of realizing you're trans engaging in spaces that should be safe for you, that should care about you, but only do so with a list of conditions because you have so much to make up for by being you

The last couple of years seeing people talk about transandrophobia has literally been life saving. It took so long for me to accept that all of that shit was bullshit and we shouldn't have to just deal with it. That those attitudes are wrong. It took close friends constantly reassuring me that I wasn't making things up or exaggerating for me to feel comfortable contending with the fact that fellow trans people could really be just as hateful and bigoted to their community as anyone else.

I am so, so thankful to people who are bringing these discussions to light and raising awareness of trans men and nonbinary people from the past -- our histories, our academia, our existence.

I am so relieved to have a name for what I have experienced and watched others go through.

I'm glad I finally feel free to ignore and block people who say transandrophobic things without fearing it's *me* who is actually being hateful.

It's great to finally feel like there's a community out there for me.

#jax yacks #transandrophobia #long post #exorsexism

[matan4il]

Hey! Anon from the last time here! By "Pro-Palestine Westeners" I was partially referring to all these students from Columbia and MIT who were illegally occupying the school grounds and harassing/hurting the actual Israeli/Jewish/Middle Eastern/the other generally decent students.

I know there's Pro-Palestine people who are actually decent, but all these college students are risking suspension/expulsion/jailtime because they'd rather chant pro-Ha*as slogans rather and listening to news from biased fonts rather than educating themselves on what's really happening. Some people would rather stay in their ivory towers, rather than going outside and touching grass.

I also know there's LGBT+ people in Palestine and other parts of MENA, and all I wish for them is that they live long enough to find a place where to live freely and out of the closet, without suffering persecution from their government.

Hope this clarified at least a little bit my other ask, and sorry it sounded so ambiguous. Finally, let's hope that Eden Golan gets at least in the top 5 at Eurovision 2024, just to spite anyone who booed her.

Hi Nonnie!

Thank you for sending this ask to clarify the previous one, it's what I thought you meant, and I'm glad to hear I wasn't too off.

TBH, as a gay woman myself, with gay Palestinian friends who are a part of my queer community, and whose struggles I know well, that's the first group I thought about as well. Then I thought about the fact that under Hamas law, husbands can rape their wives with impunity. I thought about the way the Christian population (the biggest non-Muslim minority under Palestinian rule) has demographically plummeted in the areas that Israel passed on to Palestinian control as a part of the Oslo accords. I thought about black people, whose ancestors were kidnapped because of the Trans-Saharan (i.e Arab) trade slave, and are still treated as lesser humans because of that (based on their skin color, they are still referred to in Arabic to this day as "Abeed," meaning slaves).

I think this last group, which most people don't even realize exists, deserves a bit more info shared about it:

Pretty sure black activists in the states, who don't know the history (and present) of the Arab slave trade, or the persisting anti-black racism that exists in Palestinian society, have no clue they're being exploited against the same Jewish community, which stood with Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights movement, even having some of its members paying with their very lives for this. I hope they wake up and realized they're being used for antisemitic purposes by the same people who enslaved and are still discriminating against some of their people.

But it's funny how the world's activists and human rights defenders seem to ignore the plight of these marginalized Palestinians, isn't it? Almost like, because they're NOT being oppressed by Jews, rather by fellow Palestinians, and can't be used to justify antisemitic rhetoric and action, then they don't count. So much for minority solidarity and intersectionality, right? It doesn't extend to Jews, and it doesn't extend to Palestinians who can't be weaponized against Jews.

Regarding the last bit of your ask, bless you for being hit with Apollo's dodge ball and predicting Eden making it into the top 5, despite every effort made by the jury members of so many countries, the awful people in the audience, and members of fellow delegations. It was magnificent!

Sending you hugs! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #terrorism #anti terrorism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish #israelunderattack #anti-black arab racism #resources

[autismvampyre]

i feel so fucking bad for my fellow young queers nowadays. so many are being radicalized by the right because we are so disconnected from our past and history and it fucking sucks man

i remember being 14 and just being so lost and uncomfortable in my own skin and getting wrapped up in fucking exclusionary discourse on fucking instagram of all places. i remember not liking myself and being vulnerable and feeling left out, and all these other online queers took me in and said "its fine, you're normal, but we have to fight the not-normal queers to be accepted" and i believed them because who else would i trust?

the idea that there's a wrong kind of gay or trans or queer is so antithetical to what this community is supposed to be about. we're strange, we're outcast. it's so sad to see infighting knowing that its just successful propaganda meant to divide us.

truth is, bigots don't care if you're the "right kind of queer" or not. they still hate you for existing and pandering does nothing but hurt the only community that actually cares. we have to leave behind the mindset that we can only be accepted if we change, because the people who only accept us when we're the "good kind of queer" never fucking respected us in the first place

we're here, we're queer, and we don't have to be "the right kind" to be allowed to exist

#queer community #queer history #queer pride #queer rights #queer infighting #queer is not a slur #queer inclusion #queer identity #queer youth #queer discourse #queer culture #lgbt history #lgbt pride #lgbtq community #nydias post #nydia vents

[that-gender-blog]

sometimes i am not as careful as i should be, considering that i am not even 2 years into a gender transition and am fairly androgynous and openly gay

today i was walking my friend home late at night so i knew she got home safe, and she happens to live next to a frat house. there was a party going on as i dropped her off, and the guys started yelling at the two of us. we both yelled back because we are assertive and happy to confront idiots, but we both couldve gotten hurt or attacked or something, and that’s a little scary.

it’s always wild to me seeing how i am perceived by people around me while being openly trans and gay because i really never know what someone is going to say or do. i live in an area with people who are generally supportive and very kind, but being in college means you end up surrounded by people who can have very differing views on anything and everything.

im not sure i really had a point to this story/rant other than telling my fellow trans people to still be safe. keep yourselves and your friends safe, and please be smart about who you choose to confront. i was okay tonight, but i very easily couldve not been

#laines gender #transmasc #transgender #trans men #gay and trans #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer

[sunshowerwriting]

fellow bloomic lend me ur powers!! imagine mc gets into a fight with sb,, yes by fight i mean Fight. hair is lost!! skin is scratched!! spit is spat!! how do the LIs react?? (headcanons pls and male reader for my trans self YEEEEE) ty ty for indulging my feral fantasies :bloomAww:

Fight

(Blooming Panic) Xyx, Nakedtoster, Quest & Nightowl (separate) x Male Reader

700 words

fighting, mention of injury

What would the bloomic boys think of their boyfriend getting into a fight?

Xyx;

– If xyx sees you fight he's 100% going to cheer you on. He knows you can beat societybozo any day. And although he could, and would, step in if you needed help, he's more likely to just cheer you on from the side lines.

– However there is this twinge of worry and anger that hits him every time societyboy even comes close to laying a hand on you. But he will let you handle it, unless things get out of hand.

– If he doesn't see the fight go down, and you just come to him bruised and stuff he's gonna be worried but ultimately settle for a joke.

–”Did you win?”

– When you tell him you got into a fight he's gonna be so pissed. How dare someone lay a hand on his man. And it'll be really easy to tell that he's ready to go kick societyboys ass himself.

– But he’ll tend to your wounds, assuming you have any, and will take very good care of you.

– Unlike some of the others, he's not going to lecture you about getting into a fight, honestly he'd probably tell you that you were in the right. But he’d definitely want you to come to him before you get into a fight again.

Nightowl;

– He's so nervous. He's normally not phased by fights, physical or otherwise, but his boyfriend getting into a fight? There's no way he's not freaking out a little.

– He wouldn’t try to stop you if he was there when the fight went down. But I can't see him getting involved himself either. He definitely would if things were going too bad, but it wouldn’t cross his mind to get involved until he's already jumped in.

– If you come back to him after the fight though and he has to see you all roughed up he's just as worried. He tries to play it off a little though.

– “Woah cutie, a fight? I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you.”

– He's worried though, but don't let him patch you up. He is not good at it and would probably do a really bad job at it so you'd just have to redo it anyway.

– He won't lecture you, but he will definitely be more clingy than usual just to hit home how worried he was about you. He's really afraid of losing you so when you do dangerous stuff it makes him worry.

– He is pissed at societyboy, but his worry is more pressing than his anger in this instance.

Quest;

– There is no fight if Quest’s there to see it.

– He wouldn’t let the fight happen. At least not with you. The second socityboy starts to get close to you Quest will step in. He's more than willing to beat socityboy up for you, and you should feel honored for that.

– If you come to him after a fight though, he's pissed. At socityboy for hurting you and himself for not being there for you.

– “Angel, I'm so sorry, are you okay?”

– You try to tell him that there's nothing for him to be sorry for, but he still feels bad.

– He patches you up and makes sure not to lose sight of you for the next few days. He swears that he won't let you get hurt, especially in a fight ever again.

– He did have a few things to say about not getting into fights and about how dangerous it is to get into fights and so on. You appreciated his concern but you certainly could’ve done without the lecture.

Nakedtoaster;

– Toast doesn’t really know what to do. He's never been in a fight himself or even seen many, so their knowledge about fights is very small.

– However, theyll step in and do their best to deescalate the situation. He's very good at talking people in circles and getting them to calm down, but I’m not so sure it would work with societyboy.

– If it's you coming back to Toaster and them seeing you after the fight though he'll freak out.

– “Oh my god! Are you okay?”

– They're not really sure what to do and especially when you tell him you got into a fight, he's even more stunned. They never took you as the type to get into a fight and they’re a little shocked that it happened.

– They'll patch you up and definitely lecture you about not getting into fights anymore. Not from a place of disappointment or anger but because they worry about you and when he's not there he can't do anything to protect you.

#🌦 writes #blooming panic #bloomic #bp xyx #bp quest #bp nakedtoaster #bp nightowl #xyx #nightowl #nakedtoaster #quest #blooming panic x male reader #xyx x male reader #quest x male reader #nightowl x male reader #nakedtoaster x male reader #x male reader #x reader

[lostamongthestarz]

Hello!! I hope you’re having a good day! I don’t know if you do platonic requests or one so if you don’t just ignore this!! But if you do what about Miguel O’Hara with a younger trans spider man just getting started superhero-ing? Just domestic father-son dynamic :-)

I absolutely do write platonic headcanons!! Feel free to send them in my inbox <3

❗❗Female readers are on thin ice but don't fetishize my writing, I write these headcanons for my fellow trans men ❗❗

❗❗❗DO NOT TAG AS ROMANTIC/ANYTHING WEIRD THESE ARE STRICTLY PLATONIC HEADCANONS❗❗❗

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

the frist time miguel meets you it's awkward as hell, probably out as spiderman or taking a walk late at night when he sees this young kid in an alleyway after getting his ass handed to him in a fight. He'd walkover and ask if your alright and if you not in the right state of mind to answer or lie and say you are then he's gonna try and help the best he can.

If you for whatever reason live by yourself, miguel takes you back to your apartment and patches you up there. Makes sure not to hurt you more then you already are, after that when he is spiderman he'd constantly be making sure your alright weither your fighting or doing something else as a spider-person.

After you two have gotten more close and established the father/son bond you'd probably be comfortable enough revealing your identity to him, though it takes longer for him he'll get there.

He would constantly make sure your taking care of yourself, remembering meals etc.

would be 100% supportive if you did come out to him as trans, he thinks of you as his child why wouldn't he support you?

Would help you train as a hero and help you grow better with being spiderman

The first time you called miguel dad is was in front of the rest of the spider-crew (Jessica,gwen,Peter B) and they all swear that that's the fastest they've seen you run

"Alright dad, I'm gonna head home"

"....."

"Did you just-

"NOPE YOU HEARD WRONG- BYE"

Miguel nearly sobs after he hears you call him dad, he probably hasn't been called that in so long. You apologize afterwards but he reassures you that is okay

He makes sure your safe at all times, if he's not around then he has another trusted spider-person around. He can't lose another kid and he doesn't plan on it

Protective as you can get, if its not safe for you it's not happening

Also the rest of the spider-people call you little-spider, miguel calls you arañita (spiderling)

I love you never goes unsaid, he always worries about losing you or not making it back so it's a thing with you two

"Be save, arañita"

"I will, te amo" (I love you in Spainish)

Would absolutely kill if anything happened to you. (Saving that for a short)

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

If any of you need me I'll be crying over miguel and his backstory/j

Request are open <3

#miguel o'hara #platonic headcanons #fatherly miguel hours

[gayhenrycreel]

what the fuck is wrong with this community?

why is there a requirement of trans men being subs? combined with the demonization of surgery, this cuntboy fetish thing kinda hurts. i never see any appreciation for, like... any dicks on men. unless said man is skinny, but also muscular to the point that im concerned for his mental health.

there are two (2) types of gay men allowed in the queer community: hairy muscular masculine cis man, and objectified "trans man" who is always white, fem, has no body hair at all, and is treated as a woman in every way. also he has to have a misgendering kink. its a requirement.

this would be fine if there was ANYTHING ELSE ALLOWED.

even irl i don't know any masc queer people at all. i feel very alone. does the queer community hate masculinity? i dont want to go into a relationship if its expected that im fine with being a submissive woman. i dont want to have sex before phalloplasty.

i go into a queer space (any space, irl or online) and everyone is talking about makeup and offering me some and calling me "girl" and theres this idea that men are evil. theres nothing wrong with femininity but radical feminism is never okay. the last queer space i was in irl had this one person who made jokes about how men suck and EVERYONE AGREED WITH HER.

everytime they have an event people offer me makeup and I GET CALLED A GIRL AGAIN.

even worse, the fucking coordinator tried to convince me to preserve my fucking egg cells after i said i want my entire reproductive system removed and stomped on. then she called me "girl".

and i said i didnt like makeup but people just said "are you sure?" like i dont know what makes me suicidally dysphoric.

i cant go into a space for people like me without my gender expression being questioned.

its bizarre that a cishet doctor would listen to me more about my sexual autonomy than a fellow trans person who says i might change my mind about HAVING A WHOLE FUCKING PERSON GROWING INSIDE ME. i have panic attacks about that. i have nightmares. and then she said i should still consider having sex, and when i said i don't want to she told me ill "meet the right person one day". i have a medical condition that makes penetration EXTREMELY painful, and when i try other holes i cant fucking feel anything, and no i dont like being pressured into sex because, shockingly, im not interested in getting raped.

i wont even consider sex until i get every surgery i can get. i just want a relationship that never goes past cuddles. i wish people would consider that i want to be a cis man, especially after ive already said thats what i want.

the cis people in my life always respect my gender. a lot of trans people in my life call me "girl" and tell me shit like "youll get to a point mentally where you dont need surgery to be happy".

i actually had someone say that to me. i said that not having t and surgery makes me suicidal, and they just told me i dont need it. then they said surgery is not necessary, even though ive wanted it for longer than i knew it was an option.

(dont worry gaylord and twobruhsinahottub im not talking about you)

#tw rape #tw pregnancy #tw suicide #trans #transandrophobia

[lighthouse-system]

My trans siblings, please listen to me.

I learned some disturbing news about a nearby "surgeon" in my state that I watch very closely named Kathy Rumer. Ms. Rumer (I refuse to call her a doctor) is known as "The Butcher of Ardmore, PA" and that title was not given to her willy-nilly. Due to her dwindling reputation in Pennsylvania, she has started taking medicaid from outside states.

This is extremely concerning because Kathy has a long history of transphobia, medical malpractice, filing SLAPP suits against whistleblowers, and abuse towards patients/victims and fellowship trainees alike. By the way, if you're in Eastern PA, I recommend giving Dr. Kathryn Brandt (Reading PA) or Dr. Katherine Rose (Bryn Mawr PA) a look-- two infinitely better surgeons. I had top surgery through Dr. Rose in July 2022 and her team went above and beyond to help me out. I'm in the process of getting things done with Brandt, and her team is also amazing.

Rumer has also decided she will see exclusively trans patients, meaning she has chosen to target us specifically. But don't let that fool you: before making that choice, she permanently disabled a cis man who needed gynaecomastia surgery by severing ligaments in his arm. So it's not just us she's hurt. She's hurt cis people too.

You will see reviews online that say otherwise or claim this to be a troll operation. Do not fall for it. Rumer creates sock puppet accounts on Reddit, Google etc to post fake reviews propping her clinic up.

A friend of mine in the group we watch her in has made a much longer, more in-depth post about her atrocities here. There are accounts of Rumer prescribing meds that could have killed a patient, Rumer ghosting or even denying patients who were in desperate need of care for complications she created, and more. And while no one has died under her care (yet, or that we know of), it would be best that it stay that way.

The scariest part is that the lawyers she's appointed to work for her are Trump-aligned, and the court she has threatened to take her victims to has a Trump-appointed, anti-LGBT judge.

Kathy Rumer is an active threat to the trans community. Please, please do not let you or your fellow trans siblings go to her. Do not let the short wait time and cheap price tag entice you. There is a reason her clinic is like a revolving door. When you go under the knife, speed is not the primary concern; accuracy, gentleness and safety are. She claims to be a "gift from God" for trans people, when in reality she is leaving a trail of blood in her path, and she could very well be coming for your state next.

Edit 1: "Apprentice" wasn't the best term, so I subbed in "fellowship trainee" instead

Edit 2: Took out my assumptions of her being abusive towards other docs bc I want concrete evidence first.

#kathy rumer #trans rights #transgender #top surgery #bottom surgery #transphobia cw #medical cw #ask to tag but this is important #I would be elated if people reblogged but I understand that this is a distressing topic #home state

[whereserpentswalk]

you're not queer if you're female and have sex with men my love x

I'm bisexual, an inherently queer identity.

I'm agender, an inherently queer identity.

If you call another human being a female you will end up sounding like an incel.

Trust me that lesbianism cannot be protected with exclusionism. Stop treating it like some sort of sacred thing that has to be held dear, it's a deviant sexual identity, all trying to cover that up will do is make you look like a robot trying to pretend to be human. You cannot defend against an angel without knowing that you are a demon. Face the fact that you're something inherently offensive to the church and society, and that that can't be fixed, only embraced. You're in this with the rest of us weather you like it or not, and if you ally with conservatives and Christians to try to hurt your fellow queers, you'll end up on the same chopping block as us.

You can't turn personal life choices into political stances (I assume you're also the anon who called me fatphobic for losing weight). Queerness isn't purity. The lesbian community can't reject all other queer people, because there are lesbians who have sex with bisexual women. There are women who date both lesbians and men and they're not traitors or wrong. There are trans men who used to be in the lesbian community, and there are some trans men who still are. There are lesbians who have sex with enbies, and trans people, and there are lesbians who don't have sex at all.

Personally fuck yourself. You cannot save the queer community by subjecting most of the queer community to bigotry, something that should be obvious.

#196 #my thougts #leftist #leftism #queer #queer rights #queer community #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #nonbinary #enby #lesbians #lesbian #lesbianism #wlw #sapphic #biseuxal #bisexual #bisexaul #bisexuality #bi #multisexual #pansexual #agender #genderqueer #genderless #terfs #terfism #misandry

[hamartia-grander]

I saw something like this a while ago so it's not new but to my fellow transmascs and trans enbies, I know it hurts seeing people hate on men and I know the pipeline from hating men to spewing terf rhetoric is very fast but I need y'all to not be calling yourselves "men's rights activists" or aligning yourselves with that, because it is the COMPLETE opposite of what you mean. Men's rights activists do not care about men's rights. They are not activists. They do not care about men getting equal emotional consideration as women, they do not care about men's mental health being taken seriously, they do not care about men still being seen as men regardless of presentation, they don't even care about men. They care about further oppressing ANYONE who is not a cisgender, white male. They care about suffocating feminism - which absolutely includes actual rights for men. (when "feminism" doesn't include men, it is terf bullshit, NOT feminism.) You guys CANNOT be saying you are men's rights activists because that is NOT what you mean. And if it is, you are perpetrating the same misogyny. Please. It is not a term to "reclaim" because it was never ever EVER about men's rights.

#my jaw dropped when I saw that post. We cannot be this far removed from reality #MISOGYNY HURTS MEN TOO. MRA SHIT HAS NEVER BEEN ABOUT MEN'S RIGHTS. #DO YOU understand this. It feels like you don't any more. #Feminism #trans #activism