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authorred · 10 months

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Miguel O’Hara bondage headcanons because I’m a degenerate | Miguel O’Hara x GN!Reader

Masterlist

Preface: Trying to get Miguel to relax and allow someone else to take control of the reigns is no easy feat. What happens when he finally does after a while of suspicion and hesitation?

I’ve never watched Across the Spiderverse :)

This will definitely be NSFW (18+) so minors DNI (do not interact). Unless you do, which in that case I refuse to be held responsible for the content you consume.

Warning(s): NSFW

Bondage with Miguel being the rigger is one thing, but bondage with Miguel being the rope bunny is an entirely different experience

It takes a long time to get Miguel to even think about it

It’s not so much a kink/fetish thing as it is a trust thing

Being tied up/restrained is not an easy thing to let someone do to you

Miguel is so used to being in control of quite literally everything that the thought of someone else trying to take over makes him extremely uncomfortable and uneasy

No one will do it better than him and/or do it correctly like he would

Miguel has no issue being the rigger because he knows what to do and he’s used to being the one in control

You need to start slow. That is imperative

Handcuffs might not work because he could just snap them

Silk rope. And lots of it.

If you’re going to bind him, you have to bind all of him

Just doing his arms will make him feel uneasy and unsecure

Tell him exactly what you’re doing when you’re doing it and before you do it

If you’re going to wrap the rope around his shoulders, tell him

If you’re going to wrap it around his torso or his wrists, tell him

Never stop communicating

Assure him constantly

I don’t mean baby talk or praises

Tell him he’s safe

Tell him it’s okay to be and feel vulnerable, and that it’s okay to let someone else take control temporarily

You need to know what you’re doing

If you’re a baby rigger who’s never tied a knot before or are looking at google instructions whilst doing it, forget it

He needs to know you’re competent. He needs that assurance

When you’re done with the binds, just sit there with him. Show him nothing bad will happen if he relaxes for a little

He’ll pull at the binds and start getting frustrated at the lack of movement

Gently touch him or talk to him to get him distracted

He’ll be tense and semi-stressed

Gently run your hands over the parts of him he likes best

Get him to stare into your eyes

He will be vulnerable and he knows it--show him you are a safespace

Eventually when he does relax and calm down, untie him

Tell him it was a good first session

When he inevitably goes, ‘. . . first session?’ say it’d be overwhelming to do anything on his first try

He might still be hesitant, but considerably less than before

The second session he’d be a bit more relaxed and you won’t have to assure him as much. He might even smile

Repeat what you did the first time: Just sit there and be his safespace

Eventually his body will slack against the ropes, and that’s when you can slowly transition to sexual activities

When you tell him you want to try ‘x’ with him whilst he’s tied up, he won’t outright shirk away, but he won’t be over the moon either

Start slow, again

Touch him gently and softly--always let him know where it is you’re going to touch, either verbally or by obvious gestures

He won’t make much noise at first

His muscles will pull and tense at the binds, but he won’t protest the sting and constriction

In a way, the binds force him to relax

When you reach a point where you both can comfortably engage in sexual acts when he’s bound, it’s like a religious experience (the good kind)

Always warm him up with either head or a handjob. Don’t make him cum though

Get him to a point of desperation and need--be gentle about it though

Always assume being gentle unless he specifies otherwise

He might accidentally snap a rope or two

It’s fine he’ll pay for more

You might have to get tied up and fucked in return tbh, depends on your dynamic

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pip-n-chips · 1 year

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my misgendering kink has been going brrrr lately so here's some thoughts that involve it

How some DoL characters would react to PC coming out as trans

(CW/TW for transphobia for most of these! these guys are not nice)

Avery is against it if you're anything less than passing in public. They will make a point to make you appear as your birth gender as much as possible (i.e. controlling your clothing). What would it say about them and their reputation if word gets out that they're dating a tr***y?

Harper acts supportive when you come out to them during one of your friday therapy sessions, and is relatively indifferent for the most part, but they start to make comments asking if you're sure? Maybe this is stemming from something else? But it doesn't escalate until the asylum where they gaslight you into questioning if you really are trans, maybe you're making it up for attention. Their whole thing is getting you to accept your ""real"" self and make a point to misgender you very often. Constant gaslighting and hypnosis molds you into how they want and their goal is to get you to forget about this silly little phase <3 (extra note: if they find out you're taking hormones, they'll make sure the pharmacy refuses to sell it to you anymore for some bullshit reason)

Bailey is, well,, you might as well have just not told Bailey at all because they couldn't give any less of a shit. As long as you use it to your advantage and get them money, they won't bother you about it

Briar is fine with it, there's plenty of people into shit like that. They are similar to Bailey, in the sense that all they'd care about is if it gets you money. They'd see it as an opportunity and set up special shows, using all the fetish names for it they can while advertising

Eden is EXTREMELY against it. You're their wife/husband and nothing will change that, your gender is your genitalia when it comes to them. If you try to correct them, they will ignore you. If you push, they will have no hesitation beating the ideas out of you. (I can also imagine them putting you in the cage as an attempt to get rid of the ideas Society put into your mind). At higher love they might try to gender you correctly, but they still grumble about how it's Wrong

Kylar is probably supportive unless it means they find out that you guys have the same genitals, then you're in deep shit. They have a meltdown because now y'all can't make the babies they've always dreamed of. How could you trick them >:((( I feel like they'd have to grow on it though because you're still you, and that's all they could ask for (and if the opposite is true and they learn you guys can make babies,,, then prepare to fuck like rabbits because Kylar is not gonna waste a single second more)

Pure!Sydney thinks it's a sin and that you should spend more time at the temple, tries to guilt you with religion and has troubling thoughts of their own about being friends with/dating someone like you. Corrupted!Sydney would be full-on supportive, I'd think

Robin is also full-on supportive, and maybe your open-ness to them would help them come to some conclusions about themself

Whitney is Whitney. Telling them is a mistake because you've just given them a new thing to bully you about. If they gender you correctly, they do it in a mocking tone. Personally they don't really care though, as long as you're still their slut

Leighton doesn't misgender you, but they fetishize the shit out of you. Also blackmail blackmail blackmail (that's all I have to say for them tbh lmao)

Remy would scoff, but not think much of it. What silly ideas, you're just a cow, cows can't be trans. Go eat some grass.

#degrees of lewdity #dol #avery the businessperson #harper the doctor #bailey the caretaker #briar the brothel owner #eden the hunter #kylar the loner #sydney the faithful #sydney the fallen #robin the orphan #whitney the bully #leighton the headteacher #remy the farmer #thoughts-n-hcs

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tired-teacher-blog · 2 years

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I've been struggling lately with my writing because nothing seems to be good enough. So I thought, what's better to get through this than to try a little something with my two favorite teachers? This is going to be like a little practice round to get me back on track, so I apologize in advance if it sucks 😞

Title : Relationship headcanons

Characters : Aizawa/ Yamada/ Fem reader

Genre : NSFW/ 18+/ Fluff/ Headcanons

Please do not read if you're a minor

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

Aizawa :

SFW :

You have talked about your desire to start a family together, he has even mentioned how many kids he wanted you two to have: "as many as possible" is what he would say everytime the subject is brought up. He just craves the idea of having mini versions of the both of you.

He pretends to hate it, but Aizawa Shōta loves the feeling of your fingers moving through his hair. He groans and pouts everytime you play with his locks, but dare to stop and he'll demand you do it again. It's cute, witnessing the cool and laid-back Shōta sleepily whining about the loss of your touch. It makes you feel special, being the only one who gets to see that side of him.

More often than not, you wake up in the middle of the night to his cold empty spot, but you have never wondered about the reason because you know. He has lived through too many horrors that had left him with a chronic insomnia, and although it has gotten a lot better after meeting you, he still occasionally wakes up covered in cold sweat and ends up unable to fall back asleep until morning. On nights like these, you follow him outside to find him either training or working in his office. And no matter how hard he insists, you always refuse to leave him alone.

He is possessive, and doesn't hesitate to show it whenever someone is being a bit too friendly with you. He would simply walk up to you and wrap a protective arm around your waist while glaring daggers into whoever dared to approach his woman, and that's always enough to scare away any unwanted attention.

He loves kissing your neck, even more so because he enjoys the reactions you make everytime his stubble grazes your sensitive skin.

He's the kind of person who would express his feelings for you through actions rather than words.

He loves seeing you interact with Eri, especially since he knows how much you adore her.

NSFW :

He's not really a kinky guy. That said, he does have a mild breeding fetish.

He is extremely dominant in bed, he takes his time pleasuring you and studying your reactions to everything he does.

He loves it when you moan his name everytime you twitch around his cock with pleasure.

His tongue is magic. He knows the effect the sneaky muscle has on you and uses the fact to draw out the sexiest moans out of your throat. He does it for both of you, he loves knowing that he's the only one who's able to give you that much pleasure.

Bite marks, fingerprints, hickeys... He likes marking you, especially in spots only he has the right to see.

With your permission, he occasionally uses his binding cloth on you.

Except for the deep groans, growls and heavy breathing he lets out when he's deep inside of you, he's not really vocal. But all of that changes when you take him into your mouth: "fuck babe! Yeah keep going", "take me deeper sweetheart.. just like that", "you're driving me crazy", "you're mine you got that?"

He worships every single fiber of your being, so there is no room for insecurities with this man. He would teach you -all night long- how to properly love yourself.

He is the king of aftercare. Sex with him can -and would- get intense, so he makes sure to pamper you afterwards. For instance, he would kiss and trace every single bruise left on your skin, he would gently clean you up, whispers loving words into your ear, makes sure you drink plenty of water and fixes you a snack in case you were peckish.

Yamada :

SFW :

Everyone knows about your relationship because Hizashi loves showing you off. He is so proud to have you and considers you to be the single most important thing in his life, which is why he makes sure everyone around you knows you're taken. Yes, he is possessive.

He gives you special greetings and shout-outs during his radio show and dedicates some of his favorite songs to you.

He loves taking you out on dates, it's his chance to spoil and show you all his favorite places in town.

That's not to say that he doesn't enjoy spending quiet evenings with you at home. He likes those just as much, especially since he gets to be more touchy feely with you.

He confessed his love for you first. He asked you to meet him after hours and shyly admitted his feelings. It was precious and out of character. And even after all this time, you still remember that moment like it was yesterday.

He's playful, and a tease. He enjoys flustering you and the best way to do so is by sneaking kisses and touches when you're on a meeting or outside with friends. He's also really good at it and never gets caught.

Tummy kisses are his favorite. He loves dragging his lips and teeth along your belly just to marvel at the sound of your sweet giggles and the feeling of your fingers through his hair.

NSFW :

Body worshipping is his thing. He vocalizes everything he loves about your body and the things he craves doing to you: "look at that cute puffy cunt inviting me in", "you're so soft honey, I can't get enough", "yeah babe keep bouncing on top of me.. fuck! Your boobs are so distracting", "delicious.. so fucking delicious."

He loves eating you out. He enjoys the way your thighs squeeze around his neck right before his sinful tongue pushes you over the edge.

He usually uses his quirk as well to send blissful vibrations up your core.

You have tried quickies in the teachers' office or in one of the empty classrooms at least a few times.

Titty fucking is one of his kinks. Having you underneath him as you engulf his throbbing dick in your soft boobs is guaranteed to drive him insane.

He loves it when you pull on his hair, even more so when you whine and moan his name as you do it.

You have watched porn together too many times to count -his suggestion- but nothing against your will. You're so comfortable with each other that sometimes you indulge in trying some of the things you see in those movies. It's always fun and helps you learn more about each other's preferences.

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padfootastic · 1 year

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in a turn of events that doesn’t surprise anyone im sure, @impishtubist has caused yet another scene to be stuck in my head until i wrote it down. so, have some sexy, greying sirius; a deeply thirsty, appreciative james who won’t let him dye it; and a very-fed-up-of-his-parents-antics harry for prongsfoot wednesday!

Harry entered the house with ‘I’m home!’ on his lips that died an instant death as soon as he registered what he was seeing.

“Er,” he hesitated. Does he really want to—? One more look at the scene in front of him and he decided to bite the bullet. Better to clear the air now than keep stewing on it later.

“Um. Is this a—kink? A fetish? Should I leave and never come back?”

In any other scenario, the way both his parents froze and looked at him with wide eyes would’ve been comical.

If only Dad wasn’t straddling his Papa on the ground, one of his hands holding both of Papa’s above him with disturbing ease.

“Er—“

“It’s not what it looks like, Haz!” Dad yelped, cutting across Papa who’s face and neck were turning a steady pink. “I swear.”

“Then why are you still—like that?” Harry asked, deciding to play it safe and look at the boring grey couch in the living room instead. Nothing scandalous going on there.

He could hear the scrambling of feet, a few thumps, and a mini-yelp, absently wondering about the amount of noise the simple act of getting up could produce.

“Right.” Dad cleared his throat. “So, Harry, would you please tell your Papa that he is, under no circumstances, allowed to dye his hair?”

Harry blinks, turning to his other, exasperated, father in silent question.

“Harry, will you please tell your Dad that this is my hair and I can do with it as I please?”

“Not when you promised yourself to me!” Dad yelps and Harry is hit with an intense wave of regret at instigating this.

“Promised—?”

“Yes! Our wedding, you said, and I quote, ‘I give myself to you, James Potter, mind, body and soul’, don’t tell me you forgot.”

“Of course I didn’t forget,” Papa throws his hands up in the air. “But c’mon James—this is not what I meant when I said body!”

“What, you think I only wanted you for that ars—“

“Dad!” Harry, yelps, mortified. He can feel his cheeks heating in a violent blush. He can feel a similar flush creeping up Papa’s neck. Sadly, his words don’t have the deterring effect he’d intended.

“I mean, it is spectacular, don’t get me wrong, but you’re more than just a beautiful body, Si!”

“James, please, have some mercy for our child, if not me,” Papa says. Thankfully, this seems to register as Dad’s eye widened, part horror and part apology. Harry waves it away tiredly; though he’s no less embarrassed every time it happens, growing up in the Potter household with two extremely affectionate parents has exposed him to much worse. He’s accepted it as his lot in life.

“Er—yeah, anyway,” he coughs, ruffling his hair, “Bottom line—Sirius isn’t allowed to dye his hair.”

“I literally never agreed to that.”

“Too bad because you will,” Dad says, slowly moving towards Papa with a look on his face that Harry is loath to describe as predatory. If only it wasn’t so true.

“Oh?” Papa’s left eyebrow rises extraordinarily high, as it tends to do quite often. He crosses his arms over his chest in challenge. The motion makes his Dad smile.

“Mhm.” The two of them are chest-to-chest by this point, staring into each other’s eyes. Harry could probably conduct a whole rave party right here, right then, and they wouldn’t even notice. That is when he decides it’s high time he should step in—not literally, Merlin, no—before they end up doing something that makes him try to run away (again).

“So I was right—it is a kink,” Harry says dryly, once again regretting starting this entire conversation in the first place. He should’ve just turned back around and gone to the Weasleys instead.

“Harry, no—“

Three years later, Harry—who’s almost blissfully forgotten about the entire incident—walks into his parents’ house to an almost identical scene, just with his Papa on top this time. This time, he makes the sensible choice he still regrets not making all those years ago, and walks right back out the door.

Let those two sort it out on their own. Merlin knows his intervention hadn’t helped a bit the last time around.

#sirius black #james potter #prongsfoot wednesday #bambibelle #prongsfoot #harry potter #not one person far has the ability to make me write on command like miss imp #it’s absolutely ridiculous (i love every second of it)#which reminds me #my sentient black tapestry fic is still in the drafts 😭😭😭#(yes there is a reference to harry running away from home bc he saw his parents kiss each other—and more—one too many times)#i just think the idea is exceedingly funny hehehe #little harry packing a backpack and running away to the weasleys #or hell. teen harry walking in & out of the house and not being found for the next day and a half bc he saw them snogging #also just want it to be known that i was giggling so much while writing amorous j/s and traumatised harry #bc it’s all jokes anyway. harry lowkey adores how in love his dads are. wants the same for himself #boys got HIGH standards #as he should #bc his parents aren’t gonna allow anyone but the best for their son #also SPOILER ALERT: sirius obviously loses. james employs some *creative persuasion* a box of dye never entered their house after that #pen’s writing #tumblr works

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feederandfeedee · 1 year

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Hi there! I have a bit a of a long ask but I was curious if you could lend some advice: I've been in a relationship with my partner going on 4 years now. When we first started dating, I was pretty open and honest about loving the idea of her gaining weight. It was a big part of our sex life for a while, but eventually it slowed down and stopped, because she's not really a feedee and doesn't really want to be a chubby person. I'm totally fine with this, I love her, find her incredibly beautiful regardless of her weight, and don't need my fetishes realized to be satisfied. However, as much as I say that to her, she has some pretty extreme anxiety I won't find her attractive unless the numbers are going up on the scale. While this is understandable, I was curious if you, as a member of this community, would have any thoughts on further assurances I can provide that I love my partner and find her beautiful regardless if she's gaining weight or not? Thanks for your time!

You should be saying these things to her!!!! Show her this message you just sent me!!! Sometimes people need reassurance especially around subject matter that they don’t completely understand. That’s understandable. You seem like a good partner, so don’t be shy or hesitant when it comes to giving her reassurance! She will love you more for it and overtime, hearing you say those reassuring words, and feeling you love on her body no matter what size will be what puts her mind at ease.

#askfeed

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leslovesfatties · 6 months

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You didnt fuck anything, we are human and we make mistakes, we hesitate, we miscommunicate. The right person will understand this if you are open and explain it. Someone who deserves you time would be gracious if you have had wrong them in some way.

Fetishes are a weird thing, but it is no weird to be afraid of enacting them, many people hide their fear through horniness, but it doesnt mean they aren’t afraid. I believe many kinks and fetishes are rooted in childhood trauma, and enacting them is a ritualistic way to release that trauma, so it is no wonder deep emotions are associate and released through them. You are just human, it is ok to be afraid, we just need to communicate this, tell others prospective partners where we are at, so they don’t take conclusion that might hurt them. Someone who cares for you will be patient.

Dont feel bad for having contradictory feelings, extremes do seem to attract. You are a coach and you might be used to help or give other skills, to improve certain aspect of a body, strength, aerobic capacity, coordination etc. Well fattening up someone can be seen like a form of coaching and give someoneelse body special attention to one aspect of their physicality, instead of building muscle they build other tissue, fat. But you can also help them to obtain flexibility, some aerobic capacity, strength but maybe no much endurance, certain type of adipose tissue instead of other. A happy flexible and healthier than many fatty, it is possible and the process would be similar to coach someone else for other things. Also, i think fetishes mellow out as you establish a connection with someone beyond the kink or the physicality of it, so it might be that not always your kinks is in fully contrast with what you do in life.

I dont know if you can fix what you thing you have wronged but if anything, this is a learning experience and don’t recoil from it, do learn to recollect your history, who you are and like and tell it to others that you are interested on. If they don’t react well to that, it was because they didn’t deserved you.

This is such a kind message I didn’t know how to respond at first.

Thank you. I really was not a good person to him, and it sucks knowing that. After the initial hurt, he was very gracious and we still send each other memes sometimes lol. He’s a genuinely good guy. He’s got a beautiful girlfriend now and feelings aside, I’m happy for him. He deserves a good one. (Not saying I’m not good lol.)

Thank you for that new perspective. I never thought of it that way. Thank you very much for your kind words. I appreciate it so much ❤️

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forgottenyear · 1 month

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[I wrote most of this earlier. I wandered in and out of dissociation throughout. I thought this would be something easy to talk about. I always think it will be easy.]

(the previous was obviously not the trigger warning I intended it to be, sorry)

[tw: sex, sexuality, unwanted sexual attention, rape, CSA, gender dysphoria, body dysphoria]

(I hope that covers it. I hope it covers the whole fucking lot of it.)

Apparently, this is the point where I loop back over the subject of gender.

I told a friend that if I could look like her, I would transition. Just half an hour later, another friend reblogged the poll about certainty of one’s gender.

If I could look like my friend, I would immediately go out to wherever people could see me, and I would revel in not being seen. And I would probably be traumatized quickly, because this friend was complaining that her body is overly sexualized.

What I like most about the body I have is that I can blend into the background. I do not attract attention. It has been rare for anyone to be overtly attracted to this body [in my time] (mostly, people are attracted to our heart and mind, and the body is not an objectionable container).

What I hate most about this body is that it is suspect, understandably and necessarily so. I must always expect to be perceived as wanting sexual gratification and as unwilling to accept “no” for an answer. I hate that I cannot just be a human being among human beings.

Angela was fetishized. I cannot cope with that.

From what my friend says, her body is also fetishized.

In both cases, our culture leans toward victim blaming. “If you would dress to express extreme shame and loathing for your body, maybe then you would not be asking for it.”

My friend is a wonderful person. I got to know her before I saw her photos. I struggled for a while with whether I should unfollow, after I saw her selfies. Living as a middle-aged man, people assume I am on tumblr for one reason – the same reason my friend copes with every day. My friend does not dress to express extreme shame and loathing for her body, so people assume she is asking for it.

My brain goes offline. I am not asexual, but maybe that is part of the problem. I traumatize myself, possibly more often than I realize.

The mere perception of anyone fetishizing anyone else – against their will – sends me into dissociation. It does not matter which “anyone” I could be in a given perception,

I am not sure what I am writing anymore. I want a body that cannot be fetishized, although I am sure someone out there would find that sexy. I want a body with no trace of sexuality. I want to be able to talk with my friends without anyone concluding I am just a desperate sexual organ trying my chances with what I perceive to be another sexual organ.

I do not like the connotations behind a middle-aged man talking with a young woman. I do not like that I had to risk these implications to offer the support I feel a friend needed. I do not like that If I said the wrong thing, my effort could have produced the opposite result and made her feel still more sexualized.

My friend was grateful for what I wrote (anonymously) and said that she felt “seen.”

I think it is obvious that I am pretty messed up right now.

I saw a need to validate a friend’s humanity.

I would do it again without hesitation. It has to be done.

But I also know the times it was not done.

And that is what has me shaking and crying and feeling nauseous.

The times when this body was not human in the eyes of others.

That we were too bad, too stupid, and too worthless for anyone to care.

That we were "obviously asking for it."

Angela’s time was years before my friend from today was born. People like Angela were not human beings. Angela was a diagnosis in a psychiatric hospital (Gender Identity Confusion). Angela was just a homosexual who got confused by the clothes he wore to attract men to satiate his deviant wantonness.

Angela had to travel two states away, to find company with other such deviants. We had to go to gay bars because we would not be allowed entry anywhere else. We risked arrest on charges of vice. We had to go as a group for safety in numbers. Even the gay waiters in the gay bar were disgusted with us.

And when Angela got what she was “asking for,” there was nothing we could do about it. Telling anyone would require admitting we left the safety of acceptable society to keep company with inhuman deviants.

We were already the family scapegoat. A liar.

We had already, at a much too early age, employed our wanton deviousness to lead the father astray by looking too much like our sister.

In writing to a friend, I wrote to this body and to its occupants.

As much of my heart as I put into the words I wrote to a friend, the words fail to be heard by us. They are too little, too late. We heard no such words in the long months we spent in the hospitals.

We were kept and we were stared at, this boy who looked like a girl.

In ordinary circumstances I do not interact much with my friend. We are not that close, either here or irl (five time-zones difference, I believe).

But when I read what she wrote this morning, their need was right here, in front of me.

Their need is my need. Is Our need.

I know this person well enough to know that they needed someone to say something, to do something, many times in the past.

If I can be there. If I know. I cannot remain idle. I cannot be exactly what they need, and I may always be too little and too late, but I cannot look away.

How failed a human being can look away?

[maybe TMI]

I am ashamed that I am covertly hypersexual (alone), but I frequently dissociate during, and never finish.

Can it be more complicated?

Yes. Apparently, it can.

I have seminal fluid hypersensitivity. I am allergic to myself (and others, we discovered the hard way) (with our first boyfriend) (it does not help a guy’s ego to learn that his junk makes you sick) (we so wanted to prove ourselves and ended up embarrassed and ashamed instead). Without care, and sometimes with, I can be burned, inside and out. The burns can last an hour or two before they fade into mild discomfort.

Since the allergy is not limited to the finish (much to our boyfriend’s disappointment), I sometimes dissociate to where I do not take the necessary care, and then I have an hour or two to wallow in my burning shame.

The allergic burns may have lead to the breaking of the amnesia. There were many other events at that time, but an allergic reaction to a cooking oil bore a strong resemblance to the burns we experienced after the rape, and in locations my heterosexual lifestyle has not replicated.

This has been exhausting.

The subject of gender is a direct link to trauma.

The subject of sexuality is a direct link to trauma.

Both are burdened with heavy shame.

Both also appear to be ongoing arguments within the system.

I write that I am ambivalent about my gender and would sooner leave well enough alone – and with no awareness of contradiction, because there is none in the moments of writing – I write that I would transition in a heartbeat if I could have every hint of maleness removed. I know both statements are true. [I forgot that I have also written that I would like to have all sexuality removed from the body.] [Or just the body itself.]

I think I will write a simple thing, and then my head explodes.

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economically-not-a-communist · 9 months

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As someone with a pansexual sibling, I'm wondering why you feel the need to be hateful and ignorant towards pansexual people, whose label is different from bisexual people, and why you think excluding an identity you personally don't understand is a good thing for the queer community. I happened to stumble on one of your posts, and it just got me thinking. You don't need to reply, but I felt I had to say something.

Hey! Thank you for the ask.

I disagree that I am being ignorant here: my position is that pansexuality erases a lot of the history of bisexuality, and that it creates a divide among bisexuals that doesn't need to exist. From my point of view, it's people who ID as pansexual who are being ignorant; obviously not a particularly helpful opinion for either side to hold but that's how people think.

The idea that pansexuality encompasses something different to bisexuality is rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding of bisexuality and the varied experiences bisexuals have. Additionally, a lot of the definitions that try to create a dichotomy between the two can result in some pretty disrespectful and harmful attitudes towards and implications about what bisexuals are or how they think/act/etc; unfortunately a lot of these are drawn from extremely bigoted assumptions and stereotypes about bisexuals.

I also find that there are some unsavory connections between chasers and *certain* groups of people who ID as pansexual. I refuse to use the label for myself, and I have some initial hesitancy around people who ID as pansexual simply because of the amount of people I've met who use it as a more "P.C" way to fetishize trans people. That's not to say that everyone who says they are pan is a chaser, absolutely not. I know a ton of amazing people who ID as pan, my sibling used to ID as pan. I don't even necessarily have a problem with using the label, because, in the end, I can't bring myself to genuinely care enough about what words people use. I care enough only to cast irritated posts into the Tumblr void.

Hateful may be accurate to some of my posts or reposts. But the Tumblr, to a certain extent, is somewhat of a void to vent into. IRL, I prefer not to start fights over something that, in the grand scheme of things, is pretty inconsequential. But on Tumblr? It's cathartic to have a place to vent those emotions.

Feel free to send another ask or something if you would like elaboration on anything, or if you would like to present a counterargument. I try to be a fairly open-minded person, and am always willing to examine others' arguments in good faith.

#sorry it took me so long to reply i hate the tumblr dash now lol and can't stand being on it but also hate writing posts on the app #battleaxe bi #i do genuinely appreciate the ask i loved seeing it #honestly it's a good callback for me to remember that there's still people on the other side of posts #and I should keep away from the more 'hateful' shit and more towards just #being annoyed and complaining

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polymousecoco · 2 years

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Reading Reflections

Saturday, June 25, 2022

"If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on those who didn't cut you." I think about this statement a lot because I am very aligned with the school of thought that "hurt people hurt people, but healed people heal people."

Because polyamory involves connecting with multiple people, I think it's really important to work on becoming the best version of yourself. I feel that if you have a good relationship with yourself, it's easier to develop a good relationship with others.

One of the most useful things for me to do when working on myself is to read self-help books. In an earlier post, I had mentioned reading some books focused on polyamory, but I also really enjoy reading books that help with trauma because I find that it's relevant to my own experience.

With that in mind, I have recently finished reading the following books and wanted to provide my thoughts on how they were helpful to me:

"What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing" by Bruce D. Perry, MD Ph.D and Oprah Winfrey

I started noticing feelings of resentment come back up towards issues that I thought I had previously resolved. Feelings of really intense anger and frustration had started to arise within me due to some conversations I was having with my family of origin. When I talked to my sponsor about the issues I was having, they pointed me towards this book.

What I love about this book is that it's a back and forth conversation between Oprah and Dr. Bruce Perry who is a specialist in studying trauma. Oprah provides the soul while Dr. Perry provides the logic and scientific explanation to what happens to you when you experience trauma. What I love love LOVE about this book is that they reframe the question, "What's wrong with you?" to "What Happened to You?" because most people aren't inherently bad, they might just exhibit bad behavior due to trauma they experience. I also really find the format of reading a conversation between two people because it felt very engaging and easier to digest.

"Love's Not Colorblind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities" by Kevin A. Patterson

I had decided to read this book after my breakup with Katia.

Tl;dr My first serious relationship (after pursuing polyamory and opening my relationship with my husband) ended after 2 months because I felt like my ex-girlfriend fetishized me and displayed behavior that felt transphobic, misogynistic, and racist.

It's taken me a bit of time to say that out loud and to read this book, but I finally got around to finishing it and I'm really glad I did. The book is about polyamory from the perspective of a cisgender heterosexual black man. Most of the popular books on polyamory are written by white women, so this was refreshing as he touched upon the impact of racism in a community that already feels like a minority.

What I liked about this book was that he gave a lot of anecdotes and was able to talk about issues like tokenization and fetishization, AND he also talked about taking accountability. He was calling people out for problematic behavior BUT he was also calling himself out when he realized he made mistakes himself and I think that is incredibly important for self growth.

This book validated my experience as a polyamorous person of color, but I also liked the call to action at the end which encouraged me to continue updating this blog.

"Permission to Come Home: Reclaiming Mental Health as Asian Americans" by Jenny T. Wang Ph.D

I cannot shut up about this book. In relation to why I read "What Happened To You?" by Bruce D. Perry, MD Ph.D and Oprah Winfrey, this book was also extremely healing. I read about one chapter a day, but I will definitely be re-reading this book to revisit the exercises and rest stops provided.

This book was so incredibly personal to my experiences growing up that I cried several times throughout reading it. A lot of times, I'm hesitant to talk about my experiences as an Asian American around people who are not Asian because I'm scared someone will think I'm being dramatic or calling too much attention on that detail about myself. I've lived in Southern California growing up (where I was in an interesting Asian bubble) and then I moved to Tallahassee, FL for 3 years and got to experience living in the (racist) South. When I lived in Tallahassee, I remember feeling so much pressure to represent myself well because I was usually the only Asian person in group settings, and most of the time, I just wanted to fit in, and I didn't want to be treated as some exotic specimen so I tried to say things that wouldn't make me feel othered (even though my experience was VERY different from a lot of the people I was with).

As I'm working through some really big tough feelings, this book made me completely surrender to the fact that my experience as an Asian American is unique and valid, and I am allowed to acknowledge that, and I am not being dramatic for admitting that. Working on issues that come up from my family of origin will always be hard, but I know that I'm not alone and that I'm allowed to work on myself and thrive and be happy, despite whatever I was taught in my upbringing.

With relation to "Love's Not Colorblind" where there was a chapter where he talked about how sometimes BIPOC people paint polyamory as "a white thing," I feel like "Permission to Come Home" touched upon how working on mental health wasn't something a lot of Asian people did. So it was extremely beautiful to hear that polyamory and mental health aren't just for white people, it's for everybody.

Reading these books made me feel more at peace with myself.

#polyamory #ethical non monogamy #queer #lgbtq #bisexual #reflections #reading #self love #self care #self help #self impowerment #self importance #race and representation #what happened to you #love's not colorblind #permission to come home

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thicc-anxieties · 3 years

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Lets talk about reactions to OCD thoughts

I want to start with a disclaimer that i am not a licensed psychologist by any means, i am not a social worker , i am not a mental health expert. I am a person who has OCD , and is going through ERP therapy , as well as attending several support groups with specialists and other people who have a wide arrange of OCD themes and symptoms .

I think we very much need to talk about desensitization , intrusive thoughts and arousal, as well as what it means to “act on “ or have “proof of “ your OCD thoughts .

There are a ton of great great blogs on here , many that talk about reactions to OCD thoughts. Posts that say “we find them extremely disturbing, incomprehensible , immoral , disgusting and know its something we will never actually do “ . Although i know how important these posts are and how reassuring and positive it can be to remember our values , I can’t help but feel a little distant from these statements. Because after all , what does OCD do after a while ? and what do we do to heal ?

OCD can become meta, it can lead to “well what if i liked this at one point, what if i have/had a porn fetish , what if i had an orgasm and intrusive thoughts came in my head , did i place them there or not, is this proof, what counts as proof-- “ A tendency to over analyze and doubt our reactions is very much a symptom, Questioning whether we reacted “correctly “ . Correctly being disturbed , repulsed , anxious. I feel like people with OCD have the tendency to reassure themselves and others by saying “trust me i am disgusted by these thoughts this is why im different then actual -- “ . But OCD manages to go after that too doesn’t it ? What about when we get desensitized to the things in our head ? I personally have had intrusive thoughts all my life, i was never repulsed by some of them , and now that i have developed full blown OCD , i am left wondering “ Well i am scared about it now but why wasn’t i back then ? why wasn’t i disturbed ? did i just have no morals at all, was i a terrible person for not being anxious / grossed out ? “ . Not just doubting why you weren’t bothered by mental intrusive thoughts , but also using a lack of reaction to other external things as proof. Like watching murder documentaries or slasher films or even being in an irl horrific event . Let’s say you have Harm OCD , not being disturbed by these subjects just in general might lead you to question having “proof “ that you enjoy the thoughts or want to act on these things. You didn’t have a giant reaction to seeing someone get hurt , so what does this mean for your Harm OCD? is it proof ? These are questions OCD can and will bring up . Desensitization is also EXTREMELY common , years and years of these thoughts and you just do not give a fuck about them anymore and you are just tired and moving a long. See how muddled it can get when trying to use our reactions as indicators ?

Our reactions are not black and white ! Not only that , but think about what ERP is actually trying to get you to do . It gets you to think about the thoughts , think about the most horrific thoughts you have or actions you have done or might have done and lessen your reaction to them . Sit with the anxiety, not argue with yourself if it makes you bad or not. Sit with them and eventually reduce the anxiety , reduce the reaction so you can go about your activities with little mental or physical distress .

I think the line of thinking that we have to be intensely disturbed by our thoughts leads to A LOT of meta OCD within sufferers . People being very uncomfortable about even doing ERP because sometimes learning/practicing how to not be bothered confuses our moralities even more than Being stuck in the OCD cycle. Its absolutely bonkers if you think about it ! OCD makes us disturbed but some of us who struggle with meta OCD are hesitant to go through treatment cause we are almost reliant on distress to let us know we are good. At least when we are anxious we know our values ! So many articles and posts say “actually people with OCD don’t like the thoughts , they hate them and are distressed “ . With all the people i have met and talked to , this fades, this changes , this even causes people to question whether they have ocd if they are just tired , if they actually aren’t that anxious anymore and healing , that becomes a stressor ! You become disturbed about not being disturbed . It needs to be addressed ! I don’t know how exactly to solve this, but i hope people who read posts that say “don’t worry ! you hate the thoughts thats what matters “ , and feel like it doesn’t apply to you , realize your doubt of that is also OCD . Your OCD has just now become obsessive over your varying levels of anxiety , and trying to figure out what that means are your compulsions.

This isn’t very well written, but this distance is something i personally feel , and meta OCD / questioning what actions count as “proof” is very much what ocd can also do , you aren’t alone , and please know that the ERP therapy for meta OCD is still the same process.

We need to talk about this more and be a lot less rigid with what reactions are acceptable. OCD latches onto that and makes us doubt too for so many of us .

Reblogs from ocd and non-ocd blogs would be appreciated , as well as any added thoughts from those with ocd as long as they are respectful.

#ocd #actually ocd #pure ocd #pure o #intrusive thoughts #pocd #hocd #soocd #harm ocd #contamination ocd #rocd #false memory ocd #real event ocd #suicidal ocd #magical thinking ocd

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thechickflickeffect · 2 years

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Jennifer’s Body and the Male Gaze

Megan Fox is a household name – even if you can’t name her entire filmography, every movie she’s ever been in, you’ve probably at least heard of her. Maybe you saw her in the Transformers films. Maybe you just heard your bro talking about how “bangin’ hot” she was back in her prime. Maybe you saw her in Jennifer’s Body and, depending on the demographics you were in, either loved or hated it.

Jennifer’s Body – a chick-flick horror movie marketed to college frat guys and people who enjoyed the movie Juno. Holy mis-advertising Batman?

Alright, so there was some logic behind the advertising choices of this satiric man-eating movie. When the marketing team picked who they would invite to the first screenings of their movie, they wanted to reach out to people who would enjoy watching a movie with Megan Fox in it (because she was extremely objectified and sexualized by the media and this made her well liked among teen and college-aged boys) and people who had enjoyed Diablo Cody’s, the screenwriter of Jennifer’s Body, first movie, Juno, because they assumed they would want to support Cody again.

That doesn’t make the logic good logic. Jennifer’s Body was completely different than Juno, which was a feel-good coming of age comedy about a pregnant teen. Jennifer’s Body was, quite literally, about murder. In regards to the other demographic, the most enjoyment a frat guy would get out of Jennifer’s Body would be watching Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox make out and having an excuse to fetishize lesbians. They just wanted to watch Megan Fox be hot; they had no interest in watching as she devours and dehumanizes boys, exemplified with the well known cut line (that was included in trailers) of Needy exclaiming that she’s killing people and her responding, “no, I’m killing boys!”.

Of course the first reviews were going to be bad, coming from the exact opposite demographics of the ones that the movie was intended for. In a recent interview, Diablo Cody recalls laying out how she thought marketing should go and receiving an email in response that simply read, “Megan fox hot”. However, it wasn’t just the first reviews – critics tore this movie apart, with one review from James Berardinelli reading that, “if you're in search for a way to ogle Megan Fox's body, there are a lot better ways to do it than subjecting yourself to this”. Art is subjective and anyone can interpret it how they see fit but reading the reviews after watching several interviews of Cody and Fox discussing the movie and what it meant to them at the time, I couldn’t help but to think that a lot of them just… didn’t get it. A majority of the reviewers seemed to be older males that I would put money down were white and straight.

youtube

To put it succinctly, the movie wasn’t for them. Diablo Cody talked in an interview about how the movie became a metaphor for her own experience in Hollywood. Diablo Cody is not her real name; it was a screenname that she took on because it sounded less feminine than “Brook Busey”. She talks at length in the interview about how Needy started to represent her (the real, genuine her, who was allowed to be soft and transparent) and Jennifer represented what she had to be for Hollywood, cutthroat and dark and seeking vengeance.

Megan Fox responded positively to Cody sharing this, adding on her own experiences and elaborating on why Jennifer meant so much to her and why she didn’t hesitate to take the role, saying that when it came to how Hollywood treated her “objectified is like... it’s not the right word, it doesn’t capture what was happening to me at the time, […] you deserve it because of how you talk, because of how you look, because of how you dress, because of the jokes you make”. Cody even talked of how she’d made note of Megan’s experience with Hollywood and sought her out for the role; she said she didn’t know what she would’ve done if Fox hadn’t taken the role, as she can’t imagine anybody else having played Jennifer.

Most people that were raised and socialized as girls (including trans men, especially those who did not realize they were trans until later in life) can relate to these sentiments. Of having to present yourself duplicitously in every aspect of your life, just to be taken seriously. Of being reduced to your body, to how you use your body, to how you carry yourself, even in casual settings. Of being blamed for the way other people treat you because you “deserve it” for the way you talk, the way you behave, the way you look, the gender you were assigned at birth. To quote a saying that Cody herself brought up, “the only difference between a flower and a weed is a judgement”. The judgement was made in 2009 when the movie released that it was a bad movie. The judgement is being constantly reassessed by pop culture and now seems to be changing as young girls are able to revive the movie and feed their own meaning into it.

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just-a-poor-boy-queen · 2 years

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I personally can't see any of the boys being extremely kinky in the bedroom. I think theyre all pretty vanilla, although 'vanilla' can be subjective. I am quite sure they had been exposed to a lot of unconventional sexual practices, they had to. Okay... here goes (I'm not super knowledgeable about kink and fetishism so forgive me if I sound like an idiot, I don't mean to offend. it's just MY OWN silly speculation. and sorry for writing so much skldfksj): I think Freddie probably dabbled, but either was never really into it in the first place and only tried it because he was intrigued or felt that he should do it to not seem 'ordinary' or 'boring', OR just grew out of it. We kinda know his sex life with Jim was not all that kinky. Brian, I can't ever see being into being a top in any kind of S/M / impact play, choking or partake in any humiliation/degradation kink at all (this specifically goes the same for Freddie imo). Freddie (and to a certain extent, Roger), I don't think were ever into impact/pain play at all. That would put John as the one most likely to be into stuff like spanking etc. Now roleplaying or crossdressing? I can definitely see it with the former three. Bondage? Maybe, applying to all four of them but with Brian being the one that's least likely to be into it in my mind. I feel like Brian’s the type to really fear or is v hesitant to losing/giving control to someone else especially someone he doesn’t know/trust well enough, so that applies to a lot of other things as well apart from bondage, e.g. sensory deprivation, breath control, gags. But on the other hand I can see him being really into it in an ideal setting with a partner that he really trusts LOL idk. People love hcing Brian and Roger as people who are into heavy dom/sub play, but I really don't think so. Well, I don't see either of them being the "Daddy dom" we see in fics so often, I actually think Roger would scoff at the mention of "daddy kink" and kinkshame anyone who's into that 😂 Brian wouldn’t understand it, Freddie would be like “oh don’t be silly” and John…. Maybe? Yes?👀 I just don't see Roger as super freaky contrary to popular opinion, he likes things straightforward nothing too fancy. if anyone's the freakiest I would say John. Brian’s definitely NOT a ‘Dom’ through and through.. make of that what you will lol. In my mind, Brian’s the type to cry after sex, probably into the psychological aspect/emotional intimacy of sex more than the physical part. I mean he's the type to get emotionally 'messed up' with pure vanilla sex so i don't think he's gonna readily dive into any extreme kink. Roger’s the type to fall asleep quick right after and not think much about it other than 'that's a good shag'. Praise kink - Brian and Freddie. Roger’s def NOT into any fetish involving bodily fluids. The more ‘common’ fetishism regarding hair, clothes etc - they all probably were/are into to some extent. From most to least likely to make a sex tape or be into exhibitionism - Roger, John, Freddie, Brian. Roger prob likes to watch. All of them probably like(d) using toys at some point - I’d bet Roger and John are the most into toys. Somehow this fandom loves putting pegging and Brian/Roger together and this, I agree jdskd. Sexual denial - Brian, end of story.

Oh wow. That’s… quite an analysis. I won’t add anything to it, because as I said earlier, I don’t have headcanons about anyone but Freddie, so I don’t feel qualified to speak.

But thank you for sharing your thoughts, anon!

#ask response

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

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shallow or deep

— “Why would you want a guy with such a large and disgusting burn?” he whispered, his tone thoroughly rejected, broken. It was then that it hit you: did he think he wasn't good enough for you. —

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: fluff, angst (insecurities), cursing

word count: 2,544

a/n: I took the shouto has an insecurity over his scar even if it isnt that deep headcanon and ran with it, I hope yall enjoy this!!!! its been awhile since ive managed to write a fic in a single day!!!

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“You’re quite the handsome man!”

“Oh, thank you.”

“But that scar... don’t you want to get that fixed? I know someone with a quirk who can fix that up for you!”

“Thank you for your concern, but I think I am content with it.”

“Without a doubt, you are by far one of the most attractive Pro Heroes to have existed!”

“Thank you for your compliment, but I think it’s my ability to—”

“Don’t you think you would look hotter without your scar? Have you ever considered getting it removed?”

“...no, I haven’t…”

“Just imagine how Shouto would look like without his scar, here are some edited pictures for reference!”

“Wow, if I didn’t want to give him my life already, I would sell my soul to the devil to get with a scarless Shouto…”

“I don’t know, I think the scars sexy! Like look at it, it makes him so mysterious and badass! Guys with scars are so fucking hot! But in my opinion, without the scar? Shouto isn’t shit!”

“Guys with scars are hot, I’ll give you that, but not one-fourth of the face scars! He’s extremely handsome still, but it’s a bit tacky for the scar to be there. If it had been like Deku’s arm and hand scars — hell, even Eraserheads face scar — he would be so much finer.”

“And just how did you get your scar, Shouto?”

The American interviewer who sat in front of Shouto during this live national interview had the kindest smile on her face, but to the Pro Heroes who sat on the stage alongside Shouto could recognize that shark-like glint in her eyes. Her face was calm, tranquil, beautiful, but her eyes sent bitter acid through the Heroes mouth.

“I’ve already explained what happened in a previous interview,” Shouto spoke calmly, his fingers digging into his knees.

Your eyes looked over to your boyfriend, who seemed to be trying everything in his power to remain calm. You’d only seen this happen through a screen, never in real life.

The interviewer seemed unconcerned with his rebuttal, most likely expecting this from the man who wasn’t one for repeating big stories. Her chin tilted up almost like she was looking down on him, looking down on who he was.

“Well then, I’ll bite,” she leaned forward, and you felt on edge to attack, but a hand gripped your wrist when a cruel smirk spread on her face. “Do you resent your mother for burning you that night? How do you feel about the fact that it was your mother who ruined your charming looks?”

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The car was silent.

Your eyes tried to remain focused on the road ahead of you, but to your misplaced anger and hurt, you focused on the side of Shouto’s face every so often while he drove.

The radio wasn’t even on, something the both of you enjoyed blasting because you would sing stupidly loud and Shouto would hum along in his own mirth. The only sound heard was the tires driving against the gravel road and your irritated breathing.

The two of you had dropped off your friends five minutes ago, the once awkwardly tense car melting to this angry silence between the two of you in the front.

You hadn’t defended him on live television because Momo held you back, and Shouto allowed the interviewer to defile his family’s past abuse with her keen touch. The silence between the two of you was also irritating you.

Once the interview was done, Shouto had been the first to rise from his chair and to leave. And you were hot on his heels. You hadn’t been forgiving to Shouto when you finally corned him.

“How could you let her talk to you like that, Shouto?” you blazoned, your heart hammering in your chest, anger, humiliation, and sorrow riling you up. “She was a total fucking cunt, and you just took it!”

Shouto stared down at you, that old yet familiar distant look in his eyes — that anger that burned brighter than any fire he could produce flaming in both eyes.

“Drop it, y/n,” he all but hissed, his face stone, his tone fierce. “You don’t need to fight every single fucking thing that makes me uncomfortable.”

Those words weren’t enough to make you drop it, had it been any other fight you would have continued to press him for what was wrong with him, but it was that look in his eyes. The old look that you had sworn long ago you’d never allow to meet his eyes again.

The anger, humiliation, and broken look that he used to wear every day.

When Shouto finally parked, he didn’t hesitate to get out of the car, the door slamming loudly while you stumbled to follow after him.

But he was tall, too tall, and was in the house well before you could close your own door. It didn’t deter the way that you stormed towards the house, the devil, and god riding on your shoulder in this battle to figure out what the hell was wrong with Shouto.

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“I don’t resent my mother,” Shouto cooly stated. “It was an unfortunate accident, but fortunately, it hasn’t kept me from anything. I still have complete sight and functionality, so I’m okay. I could never resent my mother.”

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“Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” you ask, coming into the house.

This was Shouto’s house, something that Endeavor had gifted to him in his expression of apology. He and his siblings had been given their own homes the moment they turned twenty, and shortly after starting your relationship, he had asked you to move in.

You both were now twenty-three. You were neither each other's firsts on many levels, but there was no denying that this was the best relationship the both of you had. You comforted each other to no level, loved each other like no other. It was almost a shame that you didn’t have any feelings for your old classmate during high school because maybe then you’d been together for longer than a year.

But nevertheless, the two of you held no regrets. His house had become yours with him.

It was a bright place, no matter how dull the day was, it was always vivacious and warm in here.

But not now.

The door closed behind you, and you saw Shouto standing at the kitchen table, head lowered, arms tense. The world seemed grey, dull, and cold. You almost swore the house’s temperature was ten degrees cooler while you approached your boyfriend, who appeared to be trapped in his thoughts.

You neared him, your own anger diminishing slowly when you saw the shadows over his eyes, his teeth gnashing in a grit.

Sorrow, humiliation, guilt.

That’s all you could read from him, but you needed more from him.

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The interviewer seems to have expected that answer for she remains unfazed, but that predatorial glint in her eyes remains. The eyes of someone who hasn’t shown off their strongest of cards.

“How about relationship-wise? Have any of the beautiful ladies you’ve dated or have wanted to court in the past told you that you’d be much more handsome without it? Don’t you wish that you could be more normal for y/h/n?”

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“Why would you want a guy with such a large and disgusting burn?” he whispered, his tone thoroughly rejected, broken. It was then that it hit you: did he think he wasn't good enough for you.

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You stood up, the chair you were sitting on scraping loudly against the black floor. The interviewer snapped her attention on you for just a moment, eyes sparkling with the thrill of getting a dramatic reaction from someone.

But Momo and Uraraka held you down, and Sero’s tape came across your mouth to keep you from talking your mind.

“There have been words like that before,” Shouto says, his voice steely smooth. “But as you can see, I’m not dating anyone who shares those same opinions.”

The interviewer seemed to deflate at that answer, obviously not the juicy breakdown she was hoping for. She continued down the mass interview with the most successful class from UA’s hero program, and you continued to fume in your seat. Anger that couldn’t even be quieted by the sour emotions coming off of Shouto in large waves.

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“W-What?” you say almost in a horrified whisper.

Your eyes were wide, unsure if you had heard Shouto correctly. You prayed you had. A fist clenched on your chest, your gaze followed Shouto’s clouded face when he stood up completely.

“You heard me right,” he repeats, his focus on the wall. Finally, his blue and grey eyes focus on you; they’re distant, so far away, you weren’t sure if you could get him back anytime soon. A soft sigh ragged in his chest, nearly choking in his throat when he looked at you. “I was never insecure about my scar growing up… I didn’t have anything in sight except for wanting to be a hero, and hell, even through high school, it didn’t matter. No one in our class mentioned it, and I went on to believe that it while it wasn’t normal, it was in some way.” His hands found your cheeks, pressing onto them gently, and you could feel them tremble slightly. “Then I finally liked someone romantically, and we were thrust into the crazy world of media, and I realized that my burn isn’t normal.”

“S-Shouto…”

“The first person I ever dated told me they knew someone who would fix it up for me for free. The second person… well, they were an idiot and thought if we had children, the burn would be transferred over. More and more people both privately and publicly told me that I would be s-so much better without it… Do you think I’d be better without it?” his lips twisted, and you could only stare up in his eyes that seemed so far away so broken. “Even the ones who liked it, it was some weird fetish of theirs… the truth is, I don’t know how to feel about it. I shouldn’t hate it because it’s who I am, but I hate it because people always have some opinion about it, and no matter what I hear, it always pisses me off. I just… you’re beautiful, y/n. You’re the person in my life that I never want to see leave, and I know that it’s shallow to value people only for their beauty, but I’m not beautiful. Scars and burns are not beautiful, they’re ugly... My looks are decent at best, but that’s all that makes me desirable. Not you, though. You’re gorgeous, your personality and attitude never fail to make everyone feel better, and yet you’re here with me… why would you love someone like me?”

There it was.

His eyes kept to your feet as if he wasn’t worthy of staring you in the face. His hands continue to hold against you in a weak grasp, as if he pressed any harder against you, you would crumble to dust or say you hated him.

Your hands grasped his wrists, pressing his hands even more against your skin. It was an intense action, so out of the blue that his eyes snapped up to meet yours finally.

Shouto wasn’t sure what to expect when he looked at your face; he knew you were upset about the interview, and truthfully he wished he hadn’t warned Uraraka, Momo, and Sero to keep you down when those questions were asked — should they have been proposed. He also expected tears, you were always one to be more emotional than he was.

What he didn’t expect were steely yet warm eyes.

“You’re an idiot, Todoroki Shouto,” you finally speak. You took a step closer to him, your heartbeat in your throat. This was a raw Shouto standing before you. A Shouto, you had no idea how he reacted, no matter how much you knew him. So, if this was a rebuilding scene, a moment to get him to see what you saw, you would take it. “You’re right, scars and burns are ugly. They shouldn’t be romanticized. It’s also not the same as others, who take scars as a sign of overcoming hardships and victory. Your scar is one of a kind… but like you’ve said, shallow traits aren’t enough…” Your chin trembled just the slightest bit, but you couldn’t let yourself cry. No, you had to be strong for him. “You’re the kindest person I know, which knowing the saint that is Midoriya and All Might, it means a lot. I don’t mean it because you’re my boyfriend, or because I want you to feel better, but you had every reason to not be kind in your life and look at you, you’re gentle, you’re sweet. You also speak your mind, no matter what. Your opinions are valuable, and that’s why you’re such a great leader. You were made to become a hero that surpassed All Might, and you did it without ever once going down the road your father had intended for you. You did that. But if we’re going to be looking at the shallow traits, we can do that.

Your scar is a sign of growth. It’s ugly, and it’s beautiful. It’s ugly because it makes you feel like you’re not good for me. It’s ugly because it was such a dark time for you when it came. It’s ugly because it’s an insecurity. But I also see beauty. It’s beautiful because it’s another place I can tenderly love at night. It’s beautiful because who you were back then is just a scar of who you were. It’s beautiful because it’s a source of your strength despite it all. You can think whatever you want of it, Shouto, think it’s good or bad, but because it’s apart of you I have to and I choose to love it. Why would I ever want you to change who you are if you’re comfortable with it? What kind of lover would I be if I decided to love everything but one part of you?” your fingers trailed to his scarred skin, the red skin forever warm under your touch. “Shallow or deep, I will never stop loving you.”

Tears fell from his eyes, and his lips crashed against yours.

The two of you sink to the floor in this wet and sweet embrace. Lips never tearing from each other, fingers wistfully holding on, a silent prayer to each other of your devotions, and hope to never leave each other’s sides. Your fingers continued to stroke against his scar, and he held you so close until you could no longer kiss.

So your wet and bruised lips pressed against his warm scar, gentle and soft reminders that you were there for him until his faint cries became steady breathing.

Todoroki Shouto may never get over the insecurity of his scar, but he’d be damned if he thought for a second whether it was there or not, you’d love him any more or any less. You loved him entirely, and for that, he was forever grateful.

#todoroki shouto #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha x reader

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lovinga3characters · 3 years

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My, I do be loving all these fictional characters and the things you write for them :3c (the ABO hc clotheslined me but I've never felt better) I hope it's not too weird to ask but would you mind to write something about what would the Autumn troupe be like if they ever bottomed for their partner? Thanks in advance if you decide to do

Fuck YESSSSSS! 🙏👏🙌 I just want you to know that I was so hype when I saw this is my inbox!! Thank you for your support on my A/B/O Headcanons, here’s that Bottom Autumn shit you’ve been waiting for! 😝

Warnings: EXTREMELY FILTHY NSFW, penetration/pegging, kinks, hot boys

(I’ll be making these as in what they think about it, what goes down, and what follows after 😏)

Bottom Autumn 🍁 Headcanons

Banri 🍂

Just a warning: he’s going to immediately refuse your suggestion, no way ANYONE or ANYTHING is going near his ass 😤

Then he thinks about it... and he thinks about it... until the idea just doesn’t leave his mind

The two of you have fooled around early on in your relationship (or maybe even before), so Banri’s experimented with quite a few kinks

Each time sparked a new curiosity in himself and this time was no different, and he also saw it as a challenge, he could totally take it!

And so Banri secretly prepares a big surprise for you, his butt himself 😙

Step 1: he has to practice the game, which shouldn’t be too hard since he’s pretty much perfect at everything

The first time he tried to finger/put a toy in himself, Banri’s face was extremely red and his body was flaring with heat, it was sorta uncomfortable

“This is... hng... not that bad but I don’t see how- ohhh... shit- shit!”

Obviously, he gets into a good rhythm quickly and, as he gets closer to cumming, he finds it harder and harder to stop himself from sinking into his bedsheets

Step 2: master the game, which basically means he continued to masturbate like that for a while, somewhat enjoying struggle to keep his voice down every time

Because he’s just so fucking perfect, he can take a lot with some practice, eventually learning how to ride on a toy just fine

Though the original goal was to get used to it so that way when you did it, the feeling wouldn’t affect him, Banri hates to admit that the restlessness of wanting you doesn’t leave

Step 3: play the game, it’s show time 🤩

He’s grinning really wide when he makes you lay on top of the bed, that’s immediately suspicious

“Relax, sugar, and you can watch me feel good, just like you wanted... ahahh!”

Your jaw dropped as you watched him take off his underwear and hop onto your lap, reaching behind his back to grab a bottle of lube (where did that even come from-?!)

His smug expression at your aroused shock faltered as he sunk down onto the member, a bright flush returning to his face and chest

It felt different to Banri... maybe it was the fact that you were there, he tried not to think about it as he started moving

Okay, a big miscalculation on his part was your movement, any time you bucked your hips up he had to grit his teeth in order to not make a loud noise

You noticed and tried to lift yourself higher, harder, Banri visible shivered, glaring at you with hazy eyes, those eyes that either said “Don’t you dare” or “I dare you” 👀

So, you pushed him over, grunting with effort, and managed to move forward inside of him even more

Banri protested, of course, despite the long whine that was brought out when you ground against that same hot spot he liked

What truly gets him is when if you grab his hair while fucking him, Banri loves feeling the tugs in time with your trusts

“Ughn- yeah! Fuck... harder, do me harder... shut up! I’m ah- hah... saying this for your benefit-!”

He demands that you be rougher with him, saying that he could handle anything you did to him, no matter what

Banri’s moans are quieter than expected but it’s still fairly loud, he gets really riled up the faster you go

By the time he cums, he’s gasping and he actually moans when he releases, you’ve only ever heard him growl out an orgasm

If you want to piss him off (if you can), cum inside him, it turns him on and he hates it 🙂

Banri recovers quickly so even after you’ve banged him into the mattress, he’ll be fine, much to your frustration (note to self: go harder next time)

“Hahh... ‘m fine, just don’t think I’ll always let you top me, babe! F-Fuck... wanna go again?”

Fav positions: reverse cowgirl (he likes to ride you/be in control and getting his hair pulled so it’s a win-win), doggy style (similar reasons, he also gets a little insecure when you look at his face too much), and pinball wizard (Banri likes to do this position to you a lot so why not reverse it, also you can tie his hands behind him 😇)

Juza 🍰

He stares blankly at you for a couple of seconds, looks down, looks back up at you, then he wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion, as if asking “how?” 😶

But for real, Juza doesn’t understand how you’re going to manage that, he’s just really... big

You quickly reassure him that you can manage, and you begin explaining the process, and what you want to do, he goes really red with shock and embarrassment

He doesn’t disagree though, just shifts awkwardly in place before replying

“Would that... really feel good? Cause if you wanna, I don’t mind but... I dunno how- I’ve never uh-“

The actual idea doesn’t put him off surprisingly, he just cannot grasp the concept

Luckily you’re more than happy to demonstrate 🤗

Even though the two of you have been dating for quite a long time, although it was balanced who started the sexy times, it was always you who initiated anything kinky

After taking a bath, you instructed him to lay down on his stomach and he gulped as he slid off his undergarments

Smirking slightly, you reassured him that you would be gentle as you patted his butt, Juza only snorted in amusement

He flinched at how cold the lube was as you rubbed your finger over his entrance, he was as tight as you expected

You couldn’t see his face but by the time you worked two fingers, the back of his neck and ears were flushed and his breathing was staggered

Juza gasps when you decide to push a little harder, adding another to make him stretch, the action makes him jump

It’s pretty sexy to watch him squirm and his back muscles flex with effort to hold still, though he doesn’t make much noise

“Hmm... enough, ya don’t hafta mhg- be so careful. Just go already.”

As you pull out your fingers out, his body bucks backwards, then freezes, obviously not intending to do that

You go in slowly (after adding more lube, of course), and you heard him grunt as he grit his teeth together

Despite his insistence that it doesn’t hurt him, you still go gently, which he secretly appreciates upon feeling how burning it is 😅

Juza’s a pretty strong guy, so even having something up his ass doesn’t fold him completely

... Except for one thing, when you steady yourself by grabbing the back of his neck

It makes him feel breathless, especially when you start fucking him harder, squeezing the sensitive spot, his shoulders visibly shuddering

Once you get into a rhythm, Juza’s practically panting into his arm/pillow, eyes squeezing shut in flusteredness when a quiet moan escapes

“... Ghnn- hah! Hhhmn- fuck- my head’s feelin’ all... fuzzyyy...”

He’s starting to think that doing this kind of thing was harder then fighting people because the longer it goes on, the less he can handle the heat-

If you dirty talk or praise him, it doesn’t help 😉

You’re not really in the position to touch his cock, so he’s settled for rubbing it against his bedsheets, an action that gets increasingly desperate as he reaches closer to the edge

Juza’s moan just tumbles out of him when he cums, it’s deep and quick, he covered it at the last second by biting his hand 👌

He’s sweaty and a strange, warm sense of relief fills his chest as you pull out of him and kiss were you left small bruises

You’ll probably have to wipe him down because Juza can’t even look at you without getting frazzled... and just a little bit turned on again

“Th-Thanks... mmmm... it felt- well, it’s really good. I liked it, so... if you wanna, I’m tough so I can handle more...”

Fav positions: doggy style (particularly when he’s fully lying on his stomach, with either you grabbing his neck or putting his hands behind his back), scoop me up (you’re basically spooning him while being inside him, bonus access to your body heat and to biting his neck), and the chairmen (it’s less stressful than riding and you can touch Juza’s boobs pecs, much to his grumpy annoyance)

Taichi 🐶

You better not catch him while he’s drinking something because Taichi will have the most genuine spit-take you’ll ever see in your life

His jaw drops and he’ll whip around from what he’s doing to look at you like you’ve just stripped naked in public 😳

You want to what?! With his what?! That’s way too kinky for him and he’s never even done that- don’t you need to prepare a lot for stuff l-like that?!

“I mean, I wanna make you happy in that way too but- but- but that’s really a lot!”

He calms down after a while when you tell him that he really doesn’t have to if he’s so opposed to it, it’s just something you’ve thought about

Taichi doesn’t want to disappoint you, so if you explain exactly what you want to do, he’ll warm up to the idea (literally and figuratively)

The two of you have been dating for a long time now and though he does have some fetishes, Taichi is more of a giver by nature and gets embarrassed when you do things to him

Later, you ask him to lay back on the bed and spread his legs, he obeys after some hesitation, almost immediately covering his face with a pillow despite your coaxing

No matter, you’ll make him show his face soon enough anyway 😉

You slowly pulled down his undergarments, rubbing his stomach and thighs in reassurance when Taichi flinches

By the time you actually got to the prepping part, Taichi’s already pretty hard because you decided to stroke him at the same time so he doesn’t feel that much pain

To no ones’ surprise, he’s sensitive, his hips jumping up unintentionally as you move your fingers inside him with lube

His hole squeezes around your digits and you have to roughly wiggle to get anywhere, much to Taichi’s protests, who was already struggling to maintain composure as it is

When you finally get three in, his body was chasing yours, already close to cumming despite the painful sensation

It honestly looked like his face was going to explode based on how red and sweaty it was, breathing like he was running a marathon

“Ah- HAH! Don’t pull it out so suddenly... I-I can take more! Ngh... please?”

His face looked so cute, his eyes pleading, but the way his toned body arched against yours was undeniably sexy 😍

You tell him as much as you enter inside, slowly of course, and Taichi let’s out a high-pitched squeak in shock

His arms wrap around your shoulders/back, as if to ground him against the foreign sensation while the rest of him wanted to fly away

Giving him praise along with sweet nothings and dirty promises is really important, it arouses him but it also distracts him from the uncomfortable moments

Taichi whines and squeezes you tightly when you thrust more, pulling in and out of his ass carefully as he tried (and failed) to hold in his cries

By the time he’s close to finishing, Taichi is so loud and he is jumping up to meet your member in time while it hits that sweet spot inside

“Yes- yes- YES! More... oh g-goddd babe, please more- AH! IT’S SO GOOD...!”

This man wails and begs you to keep going, he’s really feeling hot now and encourages you with desperate pleas and breathless praise

Taichi’s nails might dig into your shoulders or create marks on your back (not that you really mind), a new kind of bright red on your skin that he’s never given you

Your hand could’ve stroked his wet cock, just a little, and he would’ve been a goner, cumming with a deafening yelp

Panting, Taichi is boneless against the bed, looking like he’s having an out-of-body experience, only reacting when you started to wipe the drool that leaked onto his chin from his lips

Please give kisses and aftercare thank you, he’s a good boy 🐶

He’s voice his hoarse but giggly as he keeps his body wrapped close to yours, dazed from his intense orgasm

“Heh-heheheh... ah- that was awesome! Felt really hot, I can’t wait to have more~! I-I can, right?”

Fav positions: missionary (the classic, this works because you can see his face and he can cling to you easily), the om (it’s extremely intimate which Taichi likes, it’s also easier to ride), and show and tell (basically means touching yourself while really close to your partner, he does this as a top but it’s fascinating to watch him do it with his butt, gets puppy embarrassed)

Omi 🐺

He’s surprised, that’s for sure, but not as surprised as you are when you find out that he’s... actually tried it before 😱?!

Omi blushes and says that when he was a part of his motorcycle gang, sometimes his buddies would offer some... different kinds of riding as a form of stress relief

He’s quick to say that it’s all in the past and he didn’t even do it that often anyways...

You’d have to stay firm in your convictions in order for him to agree, as it’s just slightly humiliating for him-

“Well, uh, if my baby is sure of what they want, I wouldn’t mind trying something new tonight.”

But, of course, Omi eventually agrees 😈

After preparing the proper supplies (with him double checking out of caution), you laid back onto the bed per his request as he straddled himself on top of you

He was already fully undressed, and the daring position allowed you to gawk at his sexy, muscled body in all of its glory, your hand instinctively reaching up to brush against his face in reassurance

Omi leaned into your touch, only pulling away to grab the bottle of lube to lace it onto his own fingers

You watched in awe as he leaned back with one hand, and fingered himself slowly with the other

He grunted with effort, clearly uncomfortable and not quite used to the stretch but continuing none the less, for your own benefit, he assured himself

Determined to not let you down, Omi pushed another inside, his strong fingers having no trouble doing so, though his eyes closed shut at the pain

You took some pity on the poor man and made a move for his cock, which was barely half-hard, making your lover take a sharp breath as you stroked it

With your combined determination, Omi eventually relaxed considerably, moving three fingers and groaning your name as you teased his arousal

“Are... you having fun down there? I- mmgh- I feel like I’m not quite reaching something. Let’s get to it...!”

He sat up completely and sighed as he slipped his digits out, Omi bit his lip as you lifted your member up to his hole

Swiftly but careful, your boyfriend sunk his body down, legs spread open, hands resting on your chest momentarily (nearly crushing you in the process)

After a few minutes, you pat his butt as if he was a horse that needed to ‘giddyup’, making him laugh as his eyes glittered seductively 😋

Omi then proceeded to fuck himself rather ungentlemanly, his own dick slapping harshly against his abs at every bounce

At first for Omi, it didn’t feel that different from his hand, just the thickness made him slightly more sensitive

He leaned back a little bit to adjust, and suddenly his nerves were electrocuted with pleasure, you were reaching deeper than he could on his own and-

“Ohhhh- hah... ugh, right there. I found it just- god this is a lot to- HHn- process...!”

Omi’s body was dripping with sweat as his face and neck flushed red, gruff moans and pants stumbling out of his open mouth

It’s probably best to use your hands to help out his now very hard cock, it looked as ready to burst as the rest of his body did

His thick, scratched thighs shook heavily as he slammed his ass on top of you over and over again upon nearing his climax

Omi is praising your own dazed expression as he grits his teeth to contain the sounds of his orgasm, only throaty growls escaping

While he pants and returns to his senses, you can only stare and gulp at the dripping cum on his pecs and his honeyed expression

He speaks as he leans down for a kiss, finally arising from your lap-

“You made me feel so hot, like a wildfire... mmm- spreading. Hrmph... thanks. For next time, did you want to touch me more~?”

Fav positions: cowgirl (is used to this pace the most and it’s a bonus for you cause it’s nice to watch 😉), CAT position (aka. the Coital Alignment Technique, its close and intimate, which he likes), and the stickman (basically you bend him over a sofa or table with his hands on his thighs, perfect for the kitchen, also easy to get rough with)

Sakyo 💴

You honestly thought you were going to fucking die on the spot from the sheer iciness of the glare Sakyo gave you

Like, you wish to top him, but are willing to fight him to the death for it? Because that’s the only way he’s budging 😠

The thought honestly makes him so embarrassed he wants to die

The embarrassment only increases if you threaten suggest to complain to Sakoda about it

That guy’s already way too involved in his love life, he doesn’t need to be involved in THAT kind of thing too-

“... I’ll consider it. That is all you’re getting from me... don’t you dare tell anyone. And stop looking so happy!”

Later in the week, Sakyo is searching online for... certain products and tells himself that if they have a discount, he’ll let you do it

... Of course, the oNE TIME- guess he has no choice now 😑

More time had past and just when you thought that it was a pointless endeavor, one night on his day off, Sakyo dragged you into the bedroom

He stared at you intensely from on top of the bed as he shook off his jacket and belt before tossing you a small box

You choked on your own spit as your jaw dropped... what the box contained was... a vibrating dildo 😩

Sakyo rolled his eyes and told you pointedly that you were going to use that on him, and if he didn’t like it, there would be no continuation, understood?

With a “yes, sir” and a heavy blush, you agreed, tackle kissing him against the sheets

By the time you poured the amount of lube he considered ‘safe’ and shoved the toy inside him, Sakyo was already halfway to being breathless, not expecting the sensation to be so painful (or so pleasurable)

He covered his face with his arms but even you could see he was flushed, biting his lip to not let you hear him make a sound

Unfortunately, you get into a steady rhythm, practically forcing his mouth to open even before you turn the vibe on all the way

Sakyo’s legs shake as his ass feels like it’s getting violated, unable to control the heat the spreads quickly up his spine and dick

“Urgh- enough! J-Just move mmn-! Move on alre-adyyy...!”

He snaps at you, refusing to make eye contact, even as you put his leg upwards to get a better angle

Your lover is trying so hard not to lose it, hiding and masking his mouth with his hands, eyes squeezing shut because jesus- nothing’s ever felt like this before-

It makes him feel all vulnerable, like you’re prodding at something more than just sexually, so feel free to lean down and kiss-mark his neck, it grounds Sakyo a little

Obviously, you want to see him melt completely, so you flip him onto his back, much to his shock

This encourages you to thrust even harder, his gasps and pulsing cock edging you on further 🤫

Sakyo isn’t loud per say, but he isn’t quiet either, only able to pant and convulse in a desperate attempt to pull himself together

“God damnit- hah! Don’t think I’ll just lay here and take it... Mmhmm... ohh fuuuuh... pleassse- argh-!”

He’ll play a bit coy, giving you a look that, especially without his glasses, makes him look like a smirking, devilish angel

... Sakyo almost regrets it, as he immediately goes back to being a sweaty mess when you smirk back on return

He’ll never admit it but the whole back and forth was sort of fun/sexy in way he thought an ‘old man’ like him shouldn’t be able to experience

With one final push that lifts his hips off the bed, he orgasms, silently screaming as he feels the sweet release wash over his aching body

Bruises on his hips, hickeys on his neck, drooling and sweaty, you know as soon as his senses come back down from the afterglow, Sakyo will tiredly lecture you

“Geez... that wasted a lot of energy, you shouldn’t have- hhn! ... Th-Thank you for making me feel good, dear. Don’t go crazy without my permission next time though.”

Fav positions: the sidewind (it gives you the best control, which he secretly enjoys but it embarrasses him), eagle position (it’s simple and makes him flustered and feel good, again, can be used softly), and the chair (a position that’s meant to tease you once Sakyo gets used to it, literally sits on your lap)

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