#I have never attempted anything this complex before in the sims | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrsrookhunt · 10 months

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hi, hi! could I ask for pt 2 of the twst "what to expect when your lab experiment drinks formula," I just thought it was rlly cute!☺ you can do any sort of characters, I don't mind!

What to Expect When your Lab Experiment Drinks Formula Pt. 2

Hihi! Actually, I wrote that scenario for all the characters in twst I'm writing for right now (I'm new to the fandom), so I've gone ahead and made this into a followup on how they're doing as parents, hope you don't mind! Thanks the ask!

Warnings: Mild Chap 7 spoiler (Lilia), Rook & Floyd want so many kids your house is going to look like the 100 baby sims challenge.

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Part one! Rook Hunt! Part Two (here), Part Three!

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Malleus Draconia

Malleus is running wild with the new heir. As much as he loves you, so much of his time is occupied by playing with his baby that you don't even see him around as often as you used to.

Your new baby is named Ormr, an ancient name directly meaning 'dragon'. Malleus pouted for a bit that it didn't start with 'Mal' but you assured him that it could be a great fresh start before the Draconia family ran out of names.

While you were still a bit disoriented by the strange circumstances, you were adjusting just fine to being a parent. Your little one kept you on your toes, breathing fire onto your homework when you weren't giving them enough attention and flying away with your food when Malleus taught them how to fly short distances.

Get out the broom. There's a dragon baby with a pb&j on the ceiling.

Malleus' love of your child surprised you a bit. Though you had known that he had technically set up the entire creation of the child, you never expected for Malleus to take so strongly to the little dragon fae.

To be fair, the entirety of Briar Valley seemed to rejoice at the news of your little one, so you supposed that your child was more important than it would be to a normal family. This was the continuation of his bloodline, without posing any risk of losing you, his favorite Child of man.

It was perfect, a blissful life together.

Malleus is constantly supportive of you and works hard to be both a father and a partner. He never fails to make your family feel loved and connected, even in trying times.

Rook Hunt

Rook's baby is... Rook's baby.

The little creature is mischievous, even for its young age.

It may not be able to crawl, but provided anything of importance is in its general vicinity, it will be swiped, hidden, or destroyed with an innocent giggle.

Rook manages the child much better than you. Although you love your child to death, they seem to have inherited Rook's predatory mind in their entirety, and it makes Rook far more equipped to handle the baby's demeanor.

When you look away, you'll most certainly be hit with the first thing in reach of your little one. You blame Rook for this, who reveled in showing them documentaries on hunting through the ages from birth.

Soon, it's more complex weapons. Sharp rocks from your trip outside to play have somehow become entrapped in a very deliberately tangled slinky and thrown at the back of your head.

You know it's all in good fun between Rook & your little one, but your baby will be as skilled a hunter as Rook someday. He was not wrong to call your child his little hunter from the moment it fell into your arms.

Rook wants a large family, so you'd better be prepared for lots of little predators running around the house. Good luck trying to keep them from attempting to murder each other.

Extra: Rook is the type to remember that recipe to a tee. If you so much as mention having another child, ten more are going to show up the next day. Honestly he's waiting for you to slip up and mention it. He's absolutely in love with your family, and would be overjoyed to expand it. Best of luck to you.

Floyd Leech

As soon as you were asleep that night, little child snug in a makeshift bassinet next to you, Floyd was already sneaking out to create more children.

You woke up to six more on the bed with you, one of which woke you up directly by biting you for attention.

Overall you've had much trouble managing all the little literal ankle biters. If it weren't for the liberal help from Jade, Grim and Ace, you would not be able to manage all seven.

However, this does not stop you from loving them entirely. The babies love you to death, and you're extremely bonded to them as well. When you and Floyd fight, there's suddenly seven growling creatures lined up behind you, at the ready to attack.

Despite being 110% like Floyd, they are very certain in their favoritism. Two of your children refuse to have him nearby at all.

He claims it breaks his heart, but you catch him praising your little ones with frozen grapes and soda to reinforce their bond with you.

Definitely not what a baby should be fed but when you said they couldn't eat seafood he switched gears to 'land food', and would take no further criticisms.

The best times are cuddle nights. Twice a week, all of you cuddle up in your Ramshackle dorm room and cozy up to a movie and snacks. This continues until well into their childhoods let's be honest. It becomes a Leech family tradition.

Sebek Zigvolt

"Human! Get it! GET IT!!!"

Your baby is very adventurous.... or something close to it.

Always tumbling off furniture and rolling off changing tables, or falling down for some reason or other.

You can have ten sets of eyes on this child and it does not matter, this baby will stubbornly look into your eyes and throw itself off the couch.

There's so much chaos, constantly, when it comes to little baby Zigvolt.

Sebek's excellent training is the only reason that your child has not been hospitalized for concussions.

But his excellent training has not saved him from the baby's love of biting their father. So, so many times. Every time Sebek catches it.

Chomp.

Every time he bathes it.

Chomp.

Everytime he changes a diaper.

Chomp.

Sebek is covered in tiny little baby bites.

But oh, how your baby adores you. In between bouts of defiance and finger-snacking moods, your baby loves to lie in your arms and cuddle.

It's arguably the most comfortable time you get with Sebek and your baby.

And I do mean arguably, because Sebek swears up and down that the baby is happiest in the presence of Malleus, and it's a hill he's willing to die on. But you know he really just wants an excuse to show off your baby to Silver.

Silver is not impressed.

Your baby is the very definition of a headache to Sebek. They cry everytime they see Malleus, they hate any sort of regimen, they love to play and play and... play more. All day long. No work or training to be seen here, baby Zigvolt will NOT be having it unless you want 4 hours of ear-splitting tantrums. And the baby still won't do the work when they're done.

But still, you see Sebek in every aspect of your baby. The strength, the way your child loves you unconditionally, but treats everyone else cautiously, and overall, the refusal to do anything that doesn't align with their little baby whims.

You've lovingly termed your baby 'Stubborn Ziggy the Second'. Sebek is not a fan, but he allowed it after you let go of 'Swamp dog & Swamp puppy'.

Lilia Vanrouge

screaming.

And more screaming.

It is not the baby. It is you trying to find the baby.

"OH MY GOD I LOST IT, I LOST OUR BABY OH MY GOD---"

And then--

"Weh!" The baby pops its head out of a cabinet with its hands up the way Lilia does to scare them.

The baby giggles and coos at its own joke, making grabby hands while it waits for you to come get it.

You're just dumbfounded. You're going to have to scold Lilia, because now your little one is picking up on yet another one of his pranks.

Your baby is a lot like you, with one exception-- your baby is so playful and teasing that it honestly gives The Great Lilia Himself a run for his money.

Last week, you were frantically searching for an expensive piece of jewelry, when it dropped down on your head from the spot where little baby Vanrouge was apparently levitating it from.

Oh yes, your child's magic is coming in strong. Though Lilia's is fading, you tease that perhaps the little one is just absorbing it from him outright, showing him videos of your child's most recent magical displays of strength.

Your family bonds through jokes and playful faces, entirely. Lilia is probably a candidate for The Worst Parent on Earth, so you do most of the housework. It's not like Lilia's never offered, it's that you promised Silver not to let Lilia traumatize his little sibling. All of your best moments are spent by making space in your schedule for your family time.

Lil Vanrouge needs all your love, and Lilia Vanrouge does too. It's a fine balance between upsetting either of them, though dealing with hours of screaming and petty annoyance is not a hard decision.

Just make sure both are getting enough cuddles, and maybe don't judge growing-up lil Vanrouge when they decide they love gaming...

Azul Ashengrotto

Don't forget about Azul, please.

Your baby has the chubbiest cheeks and the cutest smile, but is it as cute as Azul? Cuter, probably. But don't tell him that.

Azul loves your child with all his heart, but he's a bit miffed that it requires so much of your love and attention.

You and baby Ashengrotto are very bonded, so it's rare to see you apart for a moment. And in that moment... Azul is putting on Full-Drama Mode. Cuddles, cuddles. More cuddles. Give him a kiss. Could you please take a bath with him? He's just so tired, he doesn't think he can take a bath by himself. Would you mind giving him a massage? You're too tired? That's ok, you scratch his back and he'll scratch yours. He's not too tired after all. He'll give you a massage.

Your little one is so much like their father, wanting all the attention and love in the world, but getting the priority treatment. Little baby Ashengrotto is Octavinelle's favorite thing ever. Everyone just wants to love on them and see their cuteness.

Azul was going to charge people to see them until you put your foot down and said no.

Azul knows how precious his child is. Secretly, he does want another. Two, just for a healthy statistical number's sake. But he won't tell you that. He's trying to come to terms with the shift in attention with one tiny octomer right now, maybe waiting a couple of years would be more optimal. He will never admit that he's jealous of your child, but claims that he's 'working through his issues when you bring it up.

But Azul will always prioritize his baby as well, even if unintentionally. In the end, the wellbeing of his family comes first and foremost.

And maybe showing off mini-mer to the Mostro lounge staff.

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dollyyun · 2 months

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𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 | chap 04

SYPNOSIS: wherein Hwang Stella's life is tangled in a predicament involving her clandestine identity as a racer, her seemingly daily life as the official heir to the Hwang Empire, and seven guys with whom she has a complex history with.

PAIRING: enhypen members x fem oc.

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), reverse harem, chaebols, semi-college & racing, eventual adulthood, non-idol au, eventual enha being f1 drivers, multiple pov (this fic is written in first pov).

WARNINGS: violence, angst, drama, fem!oc drowning.

WORD COUNT: 9k+

TAGLIST ✧ @aishigrey @kgneptun

🍒 MASTERLIST 🍒

STELLA: I'm ready to talk. Meet me at the park near our campus.

As I read her text, relief thaws the aggravation that feels like endless turmoil. It has almost been a month since she decided to ghost me out of nowhere. Initially, I wasn't bothered in the slightest due to how my schedules have been occupying me, preventing me from meeting her.

But as time passed, her avoidance perturbed me, especially when she ignored my calls and texts, which wasn't like her, as she usually returned them as quickly as she could, no matter how busy she could get. The perturbation eventually transitioned into vexation.

Then, at Sunghoon's party, I caught her and Heeseung being a little too friendly with each other. I knew that I didn't have the right to feel envious, but when I saw Heeseung touching her, holding her in his arms, and with her smiling and laughing with him, I couldn't contain the rage I felt.

It did feel good to be able to punch Heeseung back, but when I saw how fearful her eyes were when she looked at us, it felt as though she punched me in the gut. I never want to frighten her.

After sending her a quick 'okay', I place my phone in my pocket and make my way to the students' parking lot. As I'm about to arrive at the entrance, I spot Jake, who is leaning his back against the wall while typing on his phone.

Not only has Stella been avoiding me, but Jake as well. After the incident at the party with the truth unravelled, Jake didn't say anything to anyone, leaving Sunghoon's place in silence. I tried calling and texting, but he's just the same as Stella.

I walk towards him with the intention of confronting him. He can't avoid me forever. Heck, I feel bitter and slightly hurt because of the way he is.

"Jake."

He looks up from his phone, and his once blank face morphs into something that I've never seen him looking at me before. Resentment.

Instead of responding, he attempts to walk away, turning his back on me, but I'm not having any of that.

"Sim Jaeyun, you can't avoid me forever."

He stops and turns around to meet my eyes. His gaze burns through me as though I'm his enemy.

"We need to talk." I tell him firmly.

"Oh, do we?" Jake scoffs. "I didn't think that we needed to talk after the revelation at Sunghoon's."

Annoyance sparks within me from his sarcasm. "I don't understand you. Why should it matter to you what Stella and I were doing? She's not your business anymore."

"It matters because I thought you were my best pal." Jake grits his teeth while he clenches a fist. "I didn't expect my best pal to betray me by going after my ex."

"It's been months, Jake! Months!" Thankfully, there are not many students in the vicinity. "I thought you'd finally moved on! You're even dating her sister, for fuck's sake!"

I step forward, glowering at him. "I didn't want to tell you this, but ever since you've been dating Rena, you've changed. I chose to be on your side because we grew up together and you're my best friend."

An inexplicable emotion flickers in his eye. "You don't even know half of the things I've gone through." He says with such hatred. "You don't even know what I had to sacrifice."

Despite how he's speaking to me with such hatred, I can't help but feel that there is also despair. He's hiding something.

"What are you hiding, Jake?" I ask as the prior indignation diminishes. "You know you can trust me. We've known each other since forever."

There it is, the cold, resentful facade he puts up is beginning to crack. My gut is telling me that whatever happened or whatever he has been hiding from us weighs heavier than he can carry.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then help me understand." I sigh. "What are you hiding? Why do you seem so afraid to tell me?"

"Forget it. What's done is done."

Before he can turn around, I tell him something that I know he needs to hear. "You still love Stella."

With the way he visibly flinches, I already know the answer, despite how my heart feels a sting.

"Admit it, Jake." My voice sounds unyielding. "You still love Stella, but you're a fucking idiot because right now, you're with the wrong Hwang."

Jake turns his back on me while I manage to catch his hand, forming a fist once more. "Like I said, Jay, what's done is done."

"Jake! You coward! I wasn't finished!" I call out after him as he keeps walking until he disappears from my sight.

Because of him, the curiosity that sparks within me becomes tenfold. I don't care if he's still mad at me or hates me, but I will get to the bottom of this.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I park my silver Aston Martin DB12 Volante by the curb and switch off the ignition. As I step out, I spot Stella seated on one of the playground swings. Her lilac waves look beautiful, suiting her overall countenance. Even though most perceives of her as someone who is cruel and heartless, I know for a fact that they're wrong.

Stella is anything but cruel and heartless. Sure, her icy demeanour probably makes other people to be wary of her and her reputation as the Hwang heir, but honestly, I don't see her the way they all do.

Yeah, we were friends with benefits, but she sure was a good friend to me. At times, I found myself opening up to her and sharing things that I didn't share with the guys. I like the way she thinks uniquely, the way she understands me as I too, am the official heir.

"Stella." I greet her, standing next to her as I tower over her figure.

"Jay." Her voice sounds different to how she would usually speak to me. I ignore the pinch in my heart.

"I'm sorry for what happened at Sunghoon's party." I start off, clearly aware of my deplorable behaviour. "I'm sorry for what I said. I was pissed-off and went over my head with how I acted towards you and Heeseung."

Stella looks up at me, confusion resides in her gaze. "That's the thing, Jay. I don't understand why you were mad."

She's right. But I can't let her know the reason behind my anger.

"I was a fool. I thought you had replaced me with Heeseung." I mutter.

"Even if I had, why should it matter to you? We're nothing but friends."

"Because it's obvious that Heeseung and I don't get along well." It's such a lame excuse, but I'm desperate enough to tell her white lies.

She frowns. "So if Heeseung and I were friends, which we already are, you'd disapprove? I can't believe how possessive you are."

My fingers run through my hair in frustration. "Stella─"

"Anyway, you wanted to know why I ghosted you, right?" She cuts me off, her tone sounds sharp like a knife. "I didn't know how to tell you at the point of time and I couldn't bring myself to face you."

"Tell me what?"

She inhales sharply, her eye contact remains unwavering. "That I'm done being your fuck buddy. It was great while it lasted, but it's time we put an end to it."

I don't fucking care that she doesn't want to sleep with me anymore, but why does it feel like she's also putting an end to our friendship?

"Okay." My voice comes out soft. "If that's what you want, then we'll stop."

"And," She continues, though she seems hesitant. "I don't think we can be friends anymore."

My heart feels as though it has shattered into pieces. "What? But why?"

Stella shakes her head and slowly rises from the swing. She turns her back on me. "I already gave you the answers you seek."

I grab her wrist before she can even walk away. "Don't be like this, Stella." I sound desperate, but I no longer give a fuck about it. "You didn't even tell me why you wanted to end it all yet. Don't leave me hanging again."

She whips her head around, startling me with the anger in her eyes. "What about you? You left me hanging too. You ignored my texts and calls too while you were out with other girls."

"That wasn't true!" I protest. "I was busy with the amount of workload! You know it yourself, being the official heir! And about the other girls, they were just my parents' good business friends' daughters!"

The anger slowly diminishes before looks of despair and heartbreak shine in her eyes. "You want to know the real reason why I want to cut ties with you?" She chuckles sadly. "Because I broke the agreement."

The sound of my heart pounding seems to be getting loud in my ears. "What do you mean?"

"I grew feelings for you, Jay." Her lips quiver. "Feelings that are beyond platonic."

My grip on her wrist slowly loosens. "Stella─"

She snatches her wrist from my loosen grasp. Though there are no tears in her eyes, she looks crushed. "I still do, but I'm trying to get rid of my feelings for you. I know that you will never reciprocate what I feel for you, so please, allow me to do you a favour by cutting ties with you."

It feels like I've been paralysed, unable to move or speak out any words. Most of all, my heart is screaming at me, begging me not to let her disappear from my grasps.

"I have my own baggage to deal with, so please understand that I'm also doing you a favour because I'm a complicated mess. Always was." Sentimentality shines in her eyes as she looks at me for the last time. "I won't take our friendship and the moments we had for granted. So, goodbye, Jay."

I don't know how long I've been standing here since she left the park, but soon, my knees feel like giving up. She was just a friend, a great friend who understood me the way no one did, but why do I feel as though my soul has been crushed and my heart has been ripped off my chest?

Instead of heading to the mansion, I find myself driving to the skating park that I used to go to with my uncle, my brother, and Jaeyun. After what happened with Jay, I need to clear my mind. Surprisingly, I didn't shed a tear, despite how my heart was hurting.

Deep down, I know that I can never blame Jay. It's all on me. Yes, I do have feelings for Jay, but at the same time, my heart can't seem to let go of Jaeyun. To make things even more complex, my encounters and interactions with Jungwon and Heeseung have begun to stir something in me.

And so, I decided that it was for the best for Jay to not be tied to someone like me. Someone who doesn't know who or what she wants. Someone who is desperate for some validation and affection. Someone who easily falls in love.

As I shut the driver's door, I begin to make my way towards the park while my hand searches for a familiar box inside my pocket. Bringing it out, I look down. My hand is shaky as I take out one stick. After lighting it up, I bring it up to my lips before inhaling the toxic substances.

I know I promised myself that I'd try to quit, but just for tonight, I need something to ease me.

As I look up, my heart stops beating momentarily while I halt my steps. Only a few feet away from me is the person I never expected to come here.

The stick settles between my fingers as I lower it. I can't seem to look away from his eyes, even though the intensity of his gaze alone is enough to cause my state of mind to shamble.

For a moment, I almost want to run into his arms—his arms that used to be a place where I could find comfort, his arms that used to feel like a blanket of security.

I swallow down the lump of sadness, forcing myself to maintain my icy demeanour. "What are you doing here?" I ask harshly, though I hope that he won't detect the shakiness.

"None of your business." The coldness in his voice feels as though a knife has cut my heart open. There is no longer the warmth and affection he used to convey to me. His eyes look down at the burning stick between my fingers. "Since when did you smoke?"

"None of your business." I counter coldly before attempting to walk past him. "You should leave."

I hear him scoff. "You don't get to tell me what to do. This is a free zone."

"Oh, really? Do you bring Rena here often too?" I grit my teeth as I halt my steps. "Do you teach her how to skate like you did with me?"

"Don't bring Rena into the conversation."

I spin around, seething with anger amidst the despair. I look at him dead in the eyes. "Protective of your sweet little girlfriend now? How honourable." My tongue tastes like poison as I speak. "Tell me, is it fun dating your ex's sister? Oh, and does she know how much of a coward you are?"

Jake remains silent, though the coldness in his gaze doesn't melt. I continue to speak, expressing all the pent-up emotions I've been keeping since the day he left and broke my heart.

"It wasn't long after our breakup before you started dating Rena. And while we're at it, it wasn't even a mutual breakup!" As I raise my voice, my throat starts to burn, as does the back of my eyes, burning with the incoming waterworks. "You gave me cold shoulders and started being indifferent before you decided to break up by sending me a text, like a coward!"

By now, tears have erupted as they roll down my cheeks while my body trembles with so many emotions. "I tried calling you after you sent that text, but you didn't answer. You know what's worse? When I called you, it was when I needed you the most." I choke on a sob, the betrayal feels fresh as day one. "And now you're dating my bitch of a sister? How cruel can you get?!"

"Don't speak of her that way." Though he sounds stern, I can almost discern how weak his voice sounds.

With my index finger, I jab it at where my heart is. "It fucking hurt when I found out you were dating her. You have no idea how much you broke my heart when you decided to get together with the girl who used to make my life a living hell!"

Droplets of rain start pouring down, but I don't have the heart to care that my clothes will soon be damp. A sob leaves my lips as I pathetically wipe my tears with the back of my hand. "How could you do this to me, Jaeyun? I gave you my all, and I loved you more than anything." I still do.

The whole time, he remains silent, and I can't make out the expression on his face. My body trembles as I continue to pour my heart out. "All those moments you spent with me, the words you spoke to me, how you used to tell me I was your only girl—you can't tell me that they were fake."

I blink my eyes, finally being able to look at his face a little clearer despite the rain. Strands of his hair stick to his forehead, and his clothes are as damp as mine. His gaze remains unwavering on mine, but his hand forms a fist.

"Maybe I'm just a good actor." He clenches his jaw. "It looks like they worked, considering how you've fallen for them."

"Screw you!" I scream at him. "You don't just do that to someone with whom you've been together for three fucking years! You know what? I don't care anymore! Fuck you and your girlfriend!" My chest heaves heavily while my throat begins to hurt. I look at him for the last time. "I can't believe I ever loved you."

I turn my back on him and briskly walk away from him. I wipe my tears again, but it seems that every time I do, the tears come running down my cheeks again. I don't know how long I've been walking in the rain, but as I bring the cigarette stick to my lips, frustration ignites in me as the stick has dissipated. Soon, the frustration turns into despair once more. I halt my steps before I crouch down, and I begin to bawl my eyes out with ugly sobs leaving my lips.

A part of me expects Jaeyun to follow me and hug me from the back, but it doesn't happen. Once again, he left me here in the cold, just like that day. I should've known better that Jaeyun is no longer the Jaeyun I once knew. Jaeyun, whom I used to be able to call mine.

I just keep crying in the heavy rain, pouring my heart out and all the pent-up emotions. It is all so fucking complicated, and yet I'm the one who complicates things. It frustrates yet astounds me that my heart harbours feelings for more than one person.

Two heartbreaks in one night. That's a new record.

"You know what's worse? When I called you, it was when I needed you the most."

"How could you do this to me, Jaeyun? I gave you my all, and I loved you more than anything."

No matter how hard I tried to bury the memory with her two nights ago, they always managed to resurface in my mind. It even emerged in my sleep, as if it were haunting me. Of course, it did. I hurt the only girl who ever loved me sincerely.

The familiar sound of a bell chime brings my attention to the bunch of kids running and walking towards the school gate, making their way to the respective cars that are waiting for them, while some can be seen hugging their parents and guardians.

I lean my back against my red Audi SQ8 Sportback e-tron car with my arms crossed over my chest, waiting for a certain munchkin with two-tied ponytails.

"Jakey Oppa!"

There she is, with a beaming smile plastered on her face, as she comes running towards me gleefully. As I lean away from my car, she arrives just in time to throw her limbs around my figure, her head reaching near my waist.

A breathy chuckle leaves my lips as I rub her head affectionately. "It looks like someone is happier than usual. How was school, kiddo?"

I assist her, opening the passenger seat for her as she happily enters. I quickly make my way over to the driver's. After I enter, I start the ignition while she buckles herself up with the seatbelt.

"School was fun! I got an A for math!" She gives me a crooked smile, and her eyes sparkle with hope. "Do you think Mom will be happy?"

In response, I offer her a deceptive smile before returning my gaze to the road as I drive us out of the school compound. "I'm sure she will be."

I don't want to give her any hope, considering our good for nothing mother will never give a damn about any of her children unless it's in her best interest. Plus, my little sister has a sensitive heart.

Meet Charlotte Sim, my only little sister, who is turning nine this year. She can be mischievous like any other kid her age, but at times, she often surprises me with how mature she thinks and acts. I do admit that she can be wiser than I could ever be.

"Anyway, Oppa, you wanted to know why I'm happier than usual?" She asks rhetorically while I merely hum in response, too busy focusing on the road that is busier than usual. "Because that Unnie isn't here, finally."

My eyebrows jump up in surprise at her statement. "That Unnie has a name, Char."

"I don't care, and I don't like her!" From my peripheral vision, I notice Charlotte huffing as she crosses her arms.

"Why don't you like her?" I muse. I am not entirely surprised by her proclamation. It's been so blatantly clear with the way Charlotte acts around Rena.

"Because she called you Jakey, and I'm the only one who is allowed to call you that, and she's annoying with how she keeps following you like a lost puppy." Charlotte pauses before the tone of her voice sounds dispirited. "Most of all, she's not Stella Unnie."

Instantly, my grip on the steering wheel tightens. Charlotte's last statement feels like a punch to the gut.

When Stella first met Charlotte, Charlotte liked her instantly, despite how awkward Stella was with kids. Eventually, the two got closer and became inseparable anytime I brought Charlotte along with us. They were practically like sisters. Whenever Char got hurt or cried, she came running to Stella instead of me. I often joked with them about how we could adopt Char and live far away from everyone here.

Melancholy brims in my eyes, but I suck it all up. What's done is done. Let the past stay in the past.

Don't fool yourself, Jake. You're still stuck in that restaurant with her, and you know it.

The restaurant where I brought her for our first anniversary. It was just a simple dinner, yet it was a memorable one. I remember how beautiful she looked in a white dress and the way her eyes shone with love when she gazed at me under the resplendent artificial lights. After that dinner, we headed for an ice cream parlour and walked on the pavement under the moonlight with our hands intertwined.

Fuck, yeah, I'm still stuck in that restaurant.

"Jakey?" Char's timid voice pulls me back to reality while her hand tugs at the sleeve of my coat. I take a glance at her, and I am taken aback to see the guilt in her eyes.

She must've been wondering why I went quiet for the entire ride. I didn't even realise that we had already arrived in the familiar garage of Sim's mansion.

"Are you mad at me?" Her lips quiver in sadness.

"No, baby, I promise I'm not mad at you." I sigh, reaching out to pat her head gently. "I was just thinking."

I help her unbuckle her seatbelt and carry her pink bag before exiting the car. She settles herself next to me, holding my hand as we make our way into the mansion.

"I miss Stella Unnie so much." Char mumbles while my stomach twists in guilt. "No one could ever replace her."

"You can try to like Rena." I don't even know why I fucking insist. I glance down at her and give her a faint smile. "I'm sure she's not that bad."

"I told you so many times, Oppa, that I would never ever like Rena!" Char's outburst doesn't deter me. She releases my hand and looks at me with disbelief while her eyes turn glossy. "Because of her, we lost Stella Unnie! I lost my favourite Unnie!"

I must've underestimated Char's attachment to Stella. The commotion seems to be garnering attention, with some of the helpers glancing our way. Alas, the person whom I don't wish to see appears.

"What's with all the yelling?" My mother, Rhea Sim, donning a smart casual fit, walks towards us with a disapproving glare. "Charlotte Sim, that is not the way to act as a proper lady."

"It's your fault too, Oppa!" Char ignores our mother as she yells at me once more before storming off towards the stairs.

Rhea turns to me with a bizarre look. "Explain." She demands.

"Nothing. She's just throwing a tantrum. It's natural for a child to behave that way." I keep my tone as curt as possible, bending down to place Char's bag on the floor.

"Jake─"

"I won't be able to fetch Char for at least two weeks." I cut her off sharply, wanting to get this over with, because the longer Rhea is in my vicinity, the more my hatred for her grows. "I'll be busy with a workload of assignments and some racing."

My parents are aware of me being a racer, and they support me despite how some may regard racing as preposterous in our high-class society. Luckily, I don't give a fuck about what others think.

I hear my Rhea sigh in frustration. "How long are you going to stay mad at me?"

My jaw feels tight. "Longer than you actually think."

"Jake, it's been months. I can't possibly comprehend how it still affects you." Rhea says abrasively. "I see you're doing just fine dating Rena. Besides, I'd rather you date her than that girl."

"It's called putting up a fucking act, mother." The venomous tone in my voice causes her to flinch visibly. "Remember, mother, that you're the reason why I'm in this complex shit."

Rhea attempts to calm me down by cautiously placing her hand on my shoulder. "It's for the greater cause."

I scoff loudly and jerk away from her touch. "You mean, it's for your cause. You're so selfish. You already knew how happy and in love I was with Stella, and I even had the intention to marry her as soon as we graduate from college, but you just had to be a terrible mom."

Rhea gasps, hurt is visible on her face. "Sim Jaeyun! How could you be so hateful towards your own mother?"

"I hated you the moment you forced me to date Hwang Rena." My eyes are burning with such fervent loathing. "I hated you the moment you made me abandon the only love of my life."

"But─"

"But nothing!" I snarl at her. "The moment you accepted Hwang Jihyun's partnership in collaborating with your business in exchange for my breaking up with Stella, I knew that my happiness has never mattered to you!"

Rhea masks her sadness with the usual coldness, staring at me sharply. "Say what you want. My collaboration is already going smoothly with Jihyun's. So don't you dare break up with Rena and run back to that girl."

"That girl has a name. Hwang Stella." I turn my back on her, but not before glancing at her with a smirk. "Oh, and mother? I've been known to break rules. So you may never know what happens next."

"Sim Jaeyun!" By the time Rhea shouts my name in sheer rage, I'm already outside of the mansion and have made my way back to the garage.

Thankfully, I've been living alone in an apartment since I started college. I imagine if I were still living here, I'd probably kill myself off due to Rhea's controlling and manipulating tendencies.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I knew that I had to unwind after what happened. So I decided to head to the arena with the intention of driving for as many laps as my Chevrolet Corvette Stingray, which is in a gorgeous red, could handle.

I don't know how long I've been speeding on the track until I decide that it's time to take a little break. However, as I'm about to pull up at my usual station, I spot Sunghoon at his. The guy appears to have been watching me with his back leaning against the hood of his car and his arms crossed.

I don't know what compels me to stop near his station, but as soon as I do, I roll down the window. His eyes meet mine while his lips turn into a smirk.

"What are you doing here?" I ask with a frown. I thought I would have this place all to myself since it's a Thursday night.

"Why can't I be here? I own this place─"

"You mean your uncle owns this place?"

Sunghoon rolls his eyes at my remark. "Let me guess. You're currently unwinding because something got you all worked up."

I blink my eyes, feeling surprised. "How did you know?"

"Because you're my best─" Sunghoon pauses and looks away from my gaze briefly before clearing his throat awkwardly. "I mean, I've known you for three years. Whenever something happened or got you worked up, you often decided to unwind by racing on these tracks."

I surprise myself as a chuckle leaves my lips. "And you're still as observant. But yeah, I've got too worked up."

Sunghoon purses his lips, seeming to be contemplating, because he leans away from his car and walks towards me. "Since we're the only ones here and my curiosity is annoying me, just pretend that we're still friends."

I exit the car, following Sunghoon, before we choose to sit on the ground. "So, what happened?" He asks.

I heave a deep sigh before hanging my head low. "I don't know where to start."

"Well, you can start off by telling me whatever the fuck happened months ago." Sunghoon suggests, unfiltered as always. "You do realise that you're the reason why the dynamic of our overall friendship was affected?"

"Says you." I retort. "You and Jay were fighting as well."

"Yeah, but not as bad as you and Heeseung were." Sunghoon narrows his eyes at me. "Tell me the damn truth, Jake."

As I look at him, nostalgia sets in. I am reminded of the past, where Sunghoon and I often shared things, even the stupid ones, and yet we enjoyed each other's company. My heart is beginning to sting a little.

"I fucked things up with Stella, as you obviously know." I begin to unravel bits by bits. "My breaking up with her was the root cause of the way I acted and behaved months ago."

"I kind of got a feeling, but I still don't get the part where you were in a brawl with Heeseung at the period where you started acting like an asshole."

Fortunately, I'm used to Sunghoon's unfiltered mouth. I raise my head and stare straight ahead. "Rena told me about how Heeseung had a crush on Stella and had been eyeing her for a long time." I rub my face. "At that point, my life was in shambles. I wasn't in the right state of mind. When I saw Heeseung, I confronted him about it. Before I knew it, I punched him first."

"You're a fucking idiot, Sim." Sunghoon shakes his head. "You should've known not to start a fight. Especially not with Heeseung. He may be a nerd, but his violence is not to be messed with. The guy's a beast!"

I nod my head in agreement. Out of the seven of us, Heeseung's violence is the worst. Once, he had gotten some guy into a coma, because apparently, that guy had sexually assaulted Lee Aera.

"Then I started to date Rena." I state the obvious. "But I had no choice."

"There's always a choice, Sim." Sunghoon sighs. "You just have to be brave enough to make that choice. What happened to the rule-breaker I knew?"

I look at him, my eyes hardening. "Because if I didn't date Rena, my business in racing would've been jeopardised."

Sunghoon furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "Elaborate."

"The only reason I was allowed to race in the first place was because my mother approved, as long as I heeded her decree." I ruffle my tousled hair in frustration. "Apparently, Hwang Jihyun had a business proposal for collaborating with my mother's business, but in exchange, I broke up with Stella and dated Rena instead."

"As much as I hate Stella, that is so fucked up." Sunghoon rubs his temple while I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that. "But I have to give credit to you. You made dating with Rena seem so easy. You really fooled me."

"The longer I'm with Rena, I'm afraid that I might snap sooner than expected." I sigh, feeling despondent. My eyes blur with the tears I haven't realised have appeared while my heart clenches in despair. "I still love Stella. You should've seen her the other night when I accidentally stumbled upon her."

Only God knows how badly I wanted to chase after her, hold her again, and deliver my heartfelt apologies.

Sunghoon looks at me with an indecipherable emotion. "I honestly don't know how to comfort you, but I know for a fact that you're a rule-breaker. Always have been." He hesitates, but eventually he places his hand on my shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. "So buck up and fucking break those rules. You have my support."

I blink away the tears, and my lips break into a grin. "You're right. I can't be weak and compliant forever." To safeguard my venture in motorsports and elude my mother's clutches, I must devise a strategy.

Sunghoon mirrors my grin. "That's the spirit. But it does beg the question: Why did Hwang Jihyun want you to break up with her beloved daughter?"

I shrug my shoulders, though I'm curious as well. "I have no clue. Maybe I wasn't good enough for Stella? I mean, considering she's the official heir and an important figure. You do know that the Hwangs are the most dominant in our society."

Sunghoon snorts as he rolls his eyes. "Hence, the more reason I should hate the Hwangs. Anyway, since you're the only one here, let's have a race."

He rises from the ground before extending his hand towards me, which I gladly accept. I'm uncertain of what tonight says about Sunghoon and me. Like, have we reconciled? Are we friends again? Or are we going to continue being enemies?

But one thing is for sure: I'm glad to have talked to Sunghoon and to race with him, because deep down, I know that I've missed him.

I don't know what awaits me, but I know for a fact that I've just dug my own grave─though not completely─the moment I foolishly suggested that I was willing whatever it took for as long as he kept my identity a secret.

Earlier, I had received a text from Sunoo ordering me to fetch him at his place and to wait for him in the parking lot. Initially, I was confused and annoyed because who the hell did he think he was? Then, realisation hit me when I recalled a certain memory.

Once again, fuck me and my mouth.

"You took forever to get here." Sunoo complains as soon as he gets into my car, inviting himself to the passenger seat.

I glance down at my watch, and my lips downturn into a frown before I look at him deadpan. "Oh, accept my humble apologies for being two minutes late, your highness."

Sunoo gives me a side-eye. "Sarcasm won't do you good."

I merely brush off his remark, driving us out of the parking lot. "So where exactly do you want to go, and why am I your chauffeur when you can obviously drive?"

"Because I obviously ordered you to?" Sunoo adjusts his hair as he checks himself on his phone's camera. "And also because driving is hard work."

I heave a sigh, trying my best to simmer my annoyance. "But why me? You have other friends, don't you?"

"Aera is busy, and so are the others. Sunghoon was available, but he hung up the call as soon as I asked him if he could drive me to the mall. So that leaves you as my last option."

"Geez. I'm honoured." I grumble. I had no idea that Sunoo would turn out to be such a princess.

"Don't get all attitude on me. Remember that you were the one who suggested that I could ask you to do anything as long as I kept your secret."

"Regrettably."

I hear Sunoo sigh in annoyance. "Look, Aera clearly has taken a huge liking to you while you seem to get along well with Jungwon, Riki, and Heeseung. Maybe I can try to like you if you choose not to be insufferable."

I gasp loudly, turning my head to look at him with such offence. "I'm insufferable?! You're practically acting like a spoiled brat princess!"

To my great astonishment, his fingers grab my chin and force me to look straight ahead, back on the road. "Eyes on the road. I don't want any accidents to happen and potentially ruin my face."

I inhale a deep breath, struggling to remain calm while my grip on the steering wheel tightens. Good Lord, I hope I can last this dreadful day with Sunoo.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Not only does he make me drive around wherever he likes, but apparently he also makes me carry the stuff he bought. He even asks for my opinions on certain items that catch his attention, but he always ends up choosing different ones.

"Pick up the pace, Stella! We don't have all day!" Sunoo calls out to me, walking further and further from me while I am left struggling with the weight of these shopping bags, which slows me down.

If he tells me that again one more time, I'm going to explode. I'm most certain he's not oblivious to the fact that I'm physically struggling, especially with the way he appears to be annoyingly delighted. Plus, I'm exhausted and hungry, which is not a great combo.

"Kim Sunoo!" A disgruntled grunt leaves my lips as soon as I manage to catch up to him. He abruptly stops before turning around, but I'm too caught up in my head with the ways to kill a man in his sleep, which caused me to bump into his solid figure at the same time when he turned around.

"Woah!" I expected to fall, but what I didn't expect was when he managed to catch me swiftly. His arms swiftly wrap around my waist, preventing me from falling back, though I'm surprised by the fact that he does it without breaking a sweat despite the additional weight on me due to the shopping bags.

"Tsk, clumsy as always." Sunoo says with a slight smirk, staring down at me. But at the moment he raises his hand, I instinctively close my eyes without realising I have also visibly flinched. There is a brief pause before I feel his finger gently tap on my nose.

I open my eyes and blink them, confused, while he gazes at me with something that is beyond my ability to decipher. "Clumsy, what did you think I was about to do?"

"Um," Nervousness seeps from me as I answer him awkwardly. "I-I thought─"

He raises his eyebrow at me in an oddly attractive way. "You thought I was going to kiss you?"

My eyes widen while my breath gets stuck in my throat as he closes the gap between our faces. His smirk seems to widen upon seeing how reactive I am being. "I would've kissed you if we weren't in the eyes of the public."

He steadies me before letting go of me, while I am still feeling flustered by what happened. "Sunoo!"

He grins boyishly at me. "What?"

"You can't just say that to me!" I ignore the way my cheeks have been feeling hot.

"I can say whatever I want. Unfortunately, given how you were cursing me─"

"H-How did you even know?!"

Mischievousness gleams in his eyes. "I know everything, darling. Besides, you weren't exactly being discreet."

I give him a scowl. "Then you must've known that I'm feeling hungry."

"That's why I brought you here." He gestures to the restaurant, a few metres away from us. "Oh, and I wasn't done with what I was saying." He steps a little closer to me. "Given how you were cursing me, I guess your privilege of being able to kiss me has been stripped off."

My jaw goes unhinged, and my mind goes haywire upon hearing his statement. "Are you mad?! Why would I ever want to kiss you?!"

"You should really stop being dramatic, Darling." He sighs, walking around me before I feel his hands on my shoulders, pushing me in the direction of the restaurant.

The blush on my cheeks remains the whole time. One minute he acts as if I'm his arch-enemy, and the next, he teases and flirts with me. Kim Sunoo is beyond predictable. What a sly fox indeed.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Hey, Stella?"

"Yes, princess?" I answer with a sly grin, my eyes not leaving the sight of the road as I drive Sunoo home.

After we ate our early dinner, Sunoo wanted to drag me to the karaoke, but upon seeing how evidently spent I was, I guess he felt a tad bad before deciding to end the day. Though I did notice how slightly despondent he looked.

"First of all, never call me that again." He snaps at me as I stifle laughter. "Second of all, I want you to go with me to this pool party on Saturday night, which will be hosted by a good friend of mine whom you probably don't know. Aera won't be going, but the others guys are."

I groan loudly. "I can't comprehend how you guys seem to party at least twice in two weeks. The other party at Sunghoon's was enough to drain me."

"The more reason why I should drag you with me to any social events." From the corner of my eyes, he can be seen smiling at me with his pearly white teeth. "If you want to be in our inner circle, you have to learn how to be sociable."

"I hate people." I admit blatantly. "Plus, I don't intend to be part of your inner circle."

"Too late, darling. You've already been one the moment you caught Aera's attention." He goes silent for a moment. "Besides, you also seem to be the centre of attention now."

Intrigued, I raise my eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Like how Heeseung and Jay fought because of you? How Jake was the root cause of our separation, but only after he broke up with you." Sunoo rambles. "Then there's Sunghoon, who completely despises your guts. Meanwhile, Ni-Ki and Jungwon seem to care a great deal about you."

I pull over as soon as I reach the familiar parking lot. "I really don't think that I'm the centre of attention."

"Oh, you definitely are, my dear." Sunoo shocks me when he gently tilts my chin to face him. A smirk tugs at his pretty pink lips. "You've already caught my attention, and I don't intend to let you stray from me."

"I don't get you, Sunoo." I mutter, feeling breathless by the second. "I thought you didn't like me. Hence, the reason you've been trying to torture me the whole day we were together."

"Then I suggest you stop assuming how I feel for you from now on." He grabs my hand, gently pulling it towards his lips, before he kisses the tips of my fingers softly while my heart seems to be pounding loudly in my ears.

He flutters his eyes, meeting my gaze. "Thank you for today. I look forward to our next hangout." He gives me a smile—a genuine smile. "Have a good night, darling."

Even as he leaves, I am still here in the parking lot, wondering what the hell just happened in a span of a day. He even told me that he looked forward to our next hangout. I didn't even know there would be another hangout.

"Do not be swayed, Hwang Stella." My palms hit my cheeks softly as I smack them. "He probably has a hidden agenda."

Oh, definitely. I didn't miss the way he looked at me. But my heart doesn't seem to stop racing until after I leave his compound.

Do you know what I love most about being a Chaebol? It's the fact that I get to flaunt my wealth whenever I want to and that many adventures await me.

However, being a Chaebol means that either everyone likes you or hates you. I've been called names by those who detest me, but conceited is what I hear often. If being proud of the abundance of wealth that runs in my family and the fact that everyone in my entire family has worked hard to get to where we are now means I'm being fucking conceited, then I don't give a damn what others throw labels at me.

My parents frequently shower me and my three older siblings with equal love and devotion, despite their hectic schedules, as my father is the CEO of a prevailing business in the automotive industry across SoKor, and my mother is the CEO of a renowned five-star hotel that is currently expanding its business throughout SoKor.

Though it is readily apparent that my siblings and I are prosperous, we have never taken our wealth or what we have for granted.

My three older siblings, consisting of my eldest brother and followed by my twin sisters, have long since graduated from the same university I'm enrolling in, and they are currently pursuing different paths. My elder brother is currently living his finest life in the US, working as a high paying doctor. As for my twin sisters, one of them is a model, while the other is a lawyer.

Then that leaves me─the youngest in the family. Even now, I have no idea what I truly want after finishing university. My siblings have reassured me that I do not need to fret over what I want to accomplish, but this does not alleviate the burden I impose on myself. I have thoughts about becoming a permanent racer, but irresolution always seems to muddle my judgement.

I love my siblings, but at the same time, I envy them. They knew what they wanted when they were around my current age. What's worse is the fact that my father intends to make me the official heir, even though I have no desire for it.

I want something more. Something that never fails to enthral me.

In the meantime, I can decisively affirm that racing is my focal point. I was first introduced to racing by my uncle, Park Junho. He taught me how to drive instead of my father. He used to be an esteemed racer in Seoul, but soon retired due to some health conditions. Growing up, I watched his racing content on screen and even attended his competitions, competing against his competitors. From there, my interest in racing grew tenfold, which led to where I am now.

I am thankful that my parents support me and what I do, despite the fact that my mother patently disapproves that I enjoy this dangerous motorsport. My father, on the other hand, approves for as long as I will serve my duties and responsibilities once I become the official heir.

I really do love my parents, but sometimes they are the reason why I'm fucking mental. It is unfair how my siblings manage to escape from all of this while I can't. Even when I was young, my parents frequently compared me to any other kid who surpassed me, especially Hwang Stella.

For some reason, my parents detest the Hwangs, just as other Chaebols do. Throughout preschool until high school, Stella and I managed to be classmates without fail. Whenever Stella scored the highest or won in competitions, my parents would compare me to her, though they did it in a gentle-parenting way.

Hence, I've grown to hate Stella. I hate how she always used to outwit me in every way. While she was number one, I would always be below her.

So to see the sight of Stella with Sunoo by her side as they enter the party's compound greatly irks me, because first of all, since when did Sunoo and her decide to be all friendly to each other?

My eyes remain fixed on them as I toss my head to the back, and the liquor trickles down my throat as it burns. I crush the red cup in my grasp before throwing it aside.

I hate it. I hate that some of my friends seem to be involving themselves with her. If she hadn't been with Jake in the first place, then Jake wouldn't be the way he is. If she hadn't been the reason why Heeseung and Jay fought, then Jay and Jake would've still been on talking terms.

Speaking of Jake, I guess we are slowly amending the broken fences between us, even though we haven't exactly talked it out. I am quite pleased that he has unblocked me after the talk we had, for which I'm grateful.

After having enough of staring at Sunoo and Stella being awfully close, my eyes shift elsewhere. I haven't seen Jake, Jay, or Ni-Ki anywhere. Heeseung and I arrived here at the same time, but he is currently somewhere in the mansion, probably smooching other girls or finally losing his virginity. I swear, my cousin is the opposite of what everyone else perceives of him. As for Jungwon, I saw him mingling with some guys in our batch in the backyard where the swimming pool is.

Just as I'm about to get up from the couch, a girl covered in a mere bikini appears in front of me. "Sunghoon! I've been looking everywhere for you!" She greets me cheerily.

Instead of looking at how blatantly provocative her body is, given how the other guys who are passing by us whistle and check her out, I keep my eyes trained on her face while a frown tugs at my lips. "Uh, do I know you?"

Disbelief is written across her face before her red lips form into a pout. "How could you forget me so easily? We slept together once last year."

Oh. While I do remember her, I can't say the same about her name or which department she's from. I rub my temple. This is the consequence of fucking around with girls who only wanted me for my money, looks, or just needed me to satisfy their needs.

It was fun in the beginning. I didn't want to look for anything serious, and some of those girls were willing to help me with my relief. I didn't care about love or committing myself to a serious relationship. But after I entered my senior year, it wasn't fun anymore. The sex I had was all boring and monotonous. From then on, no one could ever satisfy me the way I wanted.

"Do you want to head upstairs or something?" She asks, and the suggestiveness in her seductive gaze alone makes it obvious what she is planning.

In response, I offer her a terse smile before rising from the couch. "You're not my type."

I hear her gasp audibly as I walk past her, heading straight for Heeseung as soon as I spot him descending the stairs.

"Where the hell did you go?" I ask in annoyance while he quirks an eyebrow. "I need your help. Pretend that you're talking and walking me out."

"I am talking to you." Heeseung muses as I grab his hand, dragging him with me amidst the crowd of people. Geez, and here I thought they would be at the pool, where I could hear the booming music.

I shoot him a brief scowl. "Just help a bro out."

"Okay, fine." Heeseung chuckles. "What happened this time?"

"Some girl bothered me." I answer shortly as we finally step outside. A groan leaves my lips as I rub my face. "This marks the third time that has happened this week! Now I'm regretting what a major fuckboy I was before."

Heeseung pats my shoulder as though in an attempt to comfort me. "There, there. Those are just the consequences of your actions. That's all."

"Ass!" I shove him, though it is meant to be playful. "Anyway, what were you doing upstairs?"

"I was catching up with my old classmates." Heeseung leans his back against the wall and proceeds to take out a familiar small box. "Why? You thought I was with some girl?"

"Obviously." I gesture to Heeseung for one stick, and he begrudgingly gives me one. "You really need to get laid."

"Why do you seem so insistent about me losing my virginity?" He asks after inhaling the substance and blowing out smoke.

I mirror his action, leaning my back against the wall. "Don't you have needs? As in sexual urges?"

He casts a side glance at me. "Of course I do. But unlike you, I have them under control."

"But watching porn isn't the same as the real thing." I counter. "Plus, you have girls lined up, and yet you don't bother to get to know at least one. How are you going to be in a relationship, your first ever at that, if you continue to avoid them girls?"

Heeseung chuckles dryly. "You really want to know the real reason why I'm not interested in relationships? It's because I only have eyes for─"

The commotion that happens abruptly catches our attention. We hear clamouring that is coming from the backyard. Some of the people who are loitering in the same area as us begin to make their way to the backyard. Nosy bunch.

"Huh. I wonder what happened." Heeseung murmurs.

"Just another typical college fight that broke out." I plainly say. "I mean, what's a party without a fight happening, right?"

Just then, two guys walk past us, and what comes out of their mouths sparks curiosity within me. "I can't believe this is the first time that two girls are in a fight!"

"Who?" I accidentally blurt out to them, causing their heads to whip at me.

The two guys exchange glances. "Word has it, the Hwang sisters are having a fight by the pool."

In our university, there are only two Hwangs we all know.

Without a word, Heeseung starts to make his way alongside everyone else. As my curiosity grows, I can't help but follow suit. To see the Hwang sisters fight is something I need to witness at least once in my life.

"Heeseung!" I finally manage to catch up to him. "Dude! What got you to walk so damn fast?"

Heeseung ignores me as he is too distracted by what is happening, prompting me to look at the scene. The clamour around me seems to be getting louder while some are chanting 'fight!'. Fucking hell, there are some who even record the whole thing.

Just as I return my gaze to the Hwang sisters, my eyes widen when Rena pushes Stella hard, resulting in the latter falling into the pool with a loud splash. Laughter of enjoyment erupts around me, but I'm the only one who knows that this is no amusing matter. I hear the sound of my pulse drumming loudly and a certain memory that flashes itself in my mind, as though to taunt me again and reignite the guilt.

Fuck this and my better instinct.

"Sunghoon!"

Earlier

I should've known that this pool party was hosted by one of Rena's friends. The moment Sunoo parted ways with me, some of the females I recognise as Rena's friends, or rather associates, began to deliver impolite words to me, while others gave me stinky eyes.

What's worse is the fact that I somehow manage to end up by the pool, where the main party is. My eyes spot Rena, who is approaching me. I turn my back on her, having no intention to deal with her, but two of her minions grab me by my arms and forcefully drag me until they shove me to the ground.

Alas, the attention from the people by the pool has diverted to me. My hands form into fists as I hear the familiar sound of Rena's heels approaching me.

"Get up." Rena demands, but I rise back on my feet on my own accord. Rena's eyes pierce into mine. "You shouldn't have come here, but I guess that just made my job easier."

I sigh and roll my eyes. "What do you want now?"

"Tonight, I want you dead." She is practically fuming. "You fucked things up between me and Jake."

My face contorts into confusion despite the anger that simmers within me. "I'm the one who fucked things between the two of you?" I ask incredulously. This bitch is unbelievable.

"You did something to him, which is why he has begun to ignore me and refuses to listen to me." She steps closer. "How could you do this to your sister?! Stealing my boyfriend from me?!"

I can already feel the disgusted gaze from the people by the pool and in our vicinity, but I am too furious to focus on them. The fucking audacity of her?

I close my eyes and sigh as I rub my temple. "Listen, Rena, I don't know where you got the notion that I stole him or were just blatantly making assumptions, but I don't fucking care about you or your boyfriend." I hiss. "You can gladly have him."

Rena takes me by surprise at the moment she slaps me, turning my head sideways. "Don't act so smart with your mouth. I know for a fact that you still love him while, at the same time, you're whoring around with his friends."

Of course, she would want the people here to spread words about me being the evil one. Well, since I've been painted as the evil sister, why don't I act like it?

I raise my hand and slap her twice as hard, drawing gasps around me. I smirk, taking pleasure in seeing the humiliation on her face. "You'd do well to remember who you're talking to next time, Hwang Rena." My voice sounds unyielding cold, causing the others to flinch visibly. "Oh, and as for your clearly unstable relationship with Jake, have you ever thought that maybe he has finally fallen out of love for you?"

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Rena lashes out as my words clearly begin to affect her. "Your existence alone is a mistake! You shouldn't have been born!"

The next moment I'm standing by the pool, and the next, I find myself falling into the pool as Rena had pushed me harder than I expected. When realisation hits me at the same time the water does, I know that I'm fucked because I don't know how to swim.

I try to swim back up, but I fail miserably. Panic and anxiety fill my chest as it hurts. I cough, needing air, but instead my lungs continue to fill with water. The pool is deeper than I thought, causing more panic within me. I feel myself getting pulled down further and further.

Black dots fill my vision while consciousness is leaving my body. I flutter my eyes close, accepting this cruel fate. As darkness begins to engulf me whole, I feel hands on my body, but the darkness has already welcomed me into its arms.

PREV CHAP | NEXT CHAP

#enhypen #enhypen poly #enhypen fanfiction #reverse harem #heeseung #jay #jake #sunghoon #jungwon #sunoo #ni-ki

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sazandorable · 4 years

Note

how did you find the Choice Of script? did you look into anything else, like Twine or Inky before settling on it? as someone interested in these kind of games, i'm v interested in your thoughts given the scope of what you pulled off here. pass on ur lessons to the plebs pls. (when you have time and spoons)

(Context: this is about the Magnus Archives dating sim game I made, and ChoiceScript is the free-to-use programming language used for the ChoiceOf games)

how i found it:

So the dumb story, as I recall it, is that years ago I stumbled on the Choice of the Dragon dragon-simulator, and that was just exactly my jam xD (Another big one published since then is Choice of the Cat!). And then I found out that the code was open for use and that there was an active community of casual game-makers, and it sounded really fun, and I tried my hand at making a couple little games over the years (only really finished one silly one, though, as a gift for a friend).

why that one:

I have been dabbling in making small games, mostly for myself or for friends, for a while; I’d attempted Ren’Py back in the days, of course, but I was just a teen and didn’t have enough coding knowledge at the time (nor enough artistic or writing skill) and was very confused, so it’s likely that this bad old first experience played a role in scaring me away from that software (though I still have it installed...). I also hyperfixated on RPGMaker for a month or two, a couple years ago, but nothing has come out of that yet either.

The biggest reason why I latched on to CS was the fact that unlike Ren’Py or RPGMaker, it was conceived for text-only games (though you can insert pictures). It’s perfectly possible to get really complex and long and do it all yourself even without any visual artistic skill, it’s all just writing!

I don’t know of Inky, but I have played quite a few games made with Twine, though I haven’t tried making anything in it. I know it’s very popular because it’s free, accessible and easy to pick up, and there’s lots of little indie games about queerness or mental illness floating around, I just... never quite got it even while playing it (I don’t see the point of hiding text?). It obviously has a lot of potential and I’ve seen interesting stuff, but it just didn’t really grab me as something I wanted to try out. I’m not sure how well it would suit for a dating sim? Branching, for sure, but I’ve only seen very few games actually make use of variables?

Meanwhile Owen makes their CYOA TMA games in Google Slides which is absolutely fascinating and has lots of very fun mechanics too (though you couldn’t pay me to actually sit down and try doing that, holy heck)

Anyway, I mostly used CS this time because I already had experience with it, and had had a lot of fun. So I was already familiar with what that would entail and what options I had to make the gameplay interesting, and whenever I daydreamed about making a Magnus dating sim it was the obvious choice I had in mind as something I, personally, could reasonably achieve on my own in a few months.

how to:

So CS is completely free for use. There is a wiki that details every function rather clearly, and forums with a reasonably active community. And critically, there is the CSIDE application which makes writing and testing and debugging so much easier and streamlined (though it’s not necessary and I started out with just a text editor and manual playtesting. that was not fun tho). Finally, Dashingdon is a platform one dude set up to host in-progress and non-official games.

A finished game consists of just a folder with .txt files (plus illustrations if you wish), and you upload that to Dashingdon (or host it somewhere else) and you get a link and you’re good to go! Dashingdon even handles the save file plug-in script.

I have found it all extremely easy to use, although the start always takes some getting used to and, as for a lot of things, I recommend making a trash first game just to explore what you can do (and playing other games for examples), before you start on your real project with a bad basis.

It DOES require the basic understanding of how coding and algorithms work, but the language itself is extremely simple, the syntax is all pretty transparent, and CSIDE makes debugging very easy too. All in all it is intended to be usable by people who are writers first and not programmers, and imo it achieves that.

For fun, here’s what (a neat-ish-looking part of) my project looks like in CSIDE:

Most of my bugs are "i can't read" or "ah i forgot to edit this copypasted line" issues.

in conclusion:

All in all, ChoiceScript might not be the best suited ‘platform’ for every sort of game (Twine seems good too, and a classic dating sim in Ren’Py with character sprites and emotes and CGs would obviously be hilarious), but I definitely recommend CS to anyone passingly interested in choice/branching games and telling interactive stories.

I think it’s a good and accessible starting place especially for beginners, but it’s a robust tool for experienced game-makers too, and I definitely personally really like it, even after a few years of messing around with it.

/o/

#callmearcturus #tma dating sim #cyoa #choicescript #choiceof games #choice of games #dating sims #the archives sim #videogames

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mchalowitz · 4 years

Text

the woman is the king, part three

summary: a throughline of the matriarchal scullys; be they ethereal, sharp-witted, and ill-omened.

i’m very excited to finally share this! definitely the most difficult part to write so far and i hope everyone enjoys it!

part 1: melissa / part 2: dana

part 3: emily

read on ao3

@today-in-fic

———

Two years on, sometimes Scully believes she will be able to survive without her other. A forgotten voice travels from immortal nirvana to her brother’s residential line. She wonders if what she tells herself is true.

1994; the lost year that exists between them. On an evening in March, returning from a field assignment with Mulder, Melissa leaves a message on her answering machine that Scully can still easily recite.

Things are too hard right now, Dana. I’m safe, I’m with friends in California. I’ll call soon. I love you.

Dana would never have been the golden child. No one surpasses a squid, especially not a fed with some shifty assignment. A shifty fed fares better than a filthy sinner. Charlie wears excommunication with unsweetened pride. And Melissa, the silly new ager, well, she could take no more.

No one thrives at the center of a Scully family scandal. Scully tries to create a rational narrative. It is 1994. Melissa is pregnant; she doesn’t want the baby. She knows plenty of people on the west coast. It was believable.

Her beloved sister, Dana, is abducted, and in the four weeks she is missing, Melissa gives birth, and the baby is adopted. Dana resurfaces in a hospital; left practically for dead. Her sister returns to stand vigil at her bedside.

It becomes a question of mindset. Maggie believes Melissa would have told her; Dana disagrees. Subversion of expectations was the ultimate sin for a Scully child as it was a denouncement of the parenting of William and Margaret. She can attest to her mother’s softening on certain expectations since the death of her father. She still disagrees.

No time for sulking, only pushing through. Working the case through Christmas clearly infuriates Bill. He keeps it to hushed whispers and snide remarks out of Tara’s earshot. Scully often wonders how privy Tara is to anything going on in the Scully family.

Her infertility stings when she looks at her sister-in-law. With her cancer now in remission, the other medicals horrors Scully faced start coming back to the surface. It is another slap; the thought that her sister gave away such a sweet little girl while she will never carry a child.

Scully is a mother. She struggles to quantify what Emily is.

Emily, a living and breathing child, with the face of a Scully, is a violation of her body that someone stole from her, and yet must be fiercely protected. Perhaps Emily is the missing piece.

Scully hurriedly fills out the application for temporary custody. It consists of the normal, straightforward questions found on any application, until her hand is hovering over that box. Single or married.

The only thing happening in sunny San Diego is a completely mundane family Christmas, as far as Mulder is aware. Her words froze during her singular phone call. It seems like reaching out now is more of a bombardment than a simple debrief.

Scully is not in a position to presuppose the enigmatic thoughts of Fox Mulder. Yes, it was by his own volition to marry her and she can even believe that Mulder does love her. It is a mutual respect and a fond devotion. It is not spousal love; not a man that loves his wife.

If she checks the box, Mulder would have to be a father figure to Emily, and it is not her place to make that decision for him. Their marriage was playing house because she was destined to die and Emily does not deserve to be a flour-sack baby in their labyrinthian game.

Her pen swipes across the paper. Single.

Mulder starts with M. Mmm. Emily tells him so.

Emily leaves the crayons and paper to go to the bookshelf. Mulder is sitting in the chair by the window and she gives him the book. She points to the yellow bird on the cover.

“What’s his name?”

“I think that’s Big Bird,” Mulder tells her.

Her Daddy only reads her one book at a time, Mulder reads her three. She goes to the bookshelf for more when Dana comes up close to her. “Emily, Mulder and I have to leave now, but we’ll come back tomorrow.”

Emily looks at Mulder, holding the book, and he says, “I bet you can find a good spot to keep it safe.”

She nods and sets the book against the bed, fixing it when it slides down. Dana and Mulder leave. A lady makes her pick up her crayons before dinner.

“I’m tired,” she insists, holding the lady’s hand on the way to eat.

“First dinner, then bed, Emily.”

A duality develops in relation to another atrocity to her body. It is a swift punch to the throat; knocking the breath so deeply out of her lungs. It is also as mundane as adding milk to the shopping list; it is only another thing.

Her brother’s phone line carries mysteries from one location to another. Landline abandoned, traveling well above the speed limit, Mulder drives toward the children’s home.

“I could have handled it,” she asserts simply.

“I know.”

Mulder, with his complexity of a hero, and innate ability to act so hoggish. Scully wonders if he really believes that.

Her blanket at home is pink sparkles and has Barbie on the pillows. Emily doesn’t like her new blanket nearly as much. It’s just plain pink.

The lady from dinner tucks her in. “I met Mr. Potato Head,” Emily informs her.

Emily doesn’t like the other kids in the new place, especially the boy that calls, “That’s not true! Mr. Potato Head isn’t real.”

“Yes, he is!” she argues. She struggles to sit up with the blanket holding her back. “I met him and he looks like this!” She puffs out her cheeks, making the same face.

“That must have been very exciting, Emily,” the lady adds softly, tucking her in again.

The lights turn off. Emily closes her eyes. She feels cold.

In the work Mulder does with Scully, it is often based more on speculation than he would ever like to admit to anyone. It disgusts him to know that if Emily were any other file in his cabinet, it would bring him joy to map out theories and spar with his partner over them. With the empty coffin staring back at them, Mulder can easily assume a thought is something neither of them want to enter their minds ever again. No hypothesizing to be done here.

Following the funeral, the San Diego bureau fares slightly kinder than their city’s court system. Their California contact, while deeply apologetic for the tragedy that has occurred here, informs them the field office won’t be actively pursuing the case. Aside from following up on a few leads pertaining to the deaths of Roberta and Marshall Sim, it will likely be deemed a cold case.

“I’m very sorry, Agent Scully,” the agent says, padding his final blow. Emily’s case will not be investigated either. Both Mulder and Scully understand the algorithm that goes into the decision of pursuing an investigation. If the case fell into the FBI mainstream, Emily’s chronic health issues, use of experimental treatments, and her parents’ full cognizance to the risks wouldn’t stand a chance against the process.

And if there was anything to investigate, it has already been destroyed by powers far outside the reach of some dinky field office anyway. Whatever the reasoning may be, another Scully woman is still failed by the United States government.

Scully wants the first flight out of San Diego back to Washington and he is more than quick to oblige her. While she very clearly loves the new addition to her family, the sting is just as obvious.

Two hours down in the air, three more to go, and they have barely said a word to each other since take-off. Scully’s head is turned toward the window when he reaches for her hand. “Scully,” he speaks, very quietly.

“No,” she responds with a shake of her head, her voice tight.

Another long stretch of silence and Mulder thinks she maybe falls asleep, which would be a welcome cause for silence, because he isn’t convinced she’s slept more than an hour or two in days. He is about to request a blanket when her forehead presses into his shoulder and the contact reveals her body shaking with the exertion of holding everything inside yet again.

It’s his fierce need to protect her always that causes him to envelope her body with his. Her arms wind tightly around his neck. Her attempts to muffle her sobs in his jacket is only partially successful.

A flight attendant taps him on the shoulder and asks him, “Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine,” Mulder blatantly lies. “But maybe we could get a glass of water for my wife.”

It's a rare euphoria to speak those words; his wife. Dana Scully is his wife. A mostly unmentioned fact that gives him a childishly nervous feeling in his stomach. While it never retreated in his mind, it appears to be returning to the forefront of hers.

In the winding process of applying for custody, a second application exists. Scully’s final plea to unite her with her own flesh and blood. Another document that states definitively that they are married. Mulder underwent a grilling from the judge; a practical bullying on the semantics of their marriage.

One’s subconscious works powerfully, in his experience, and when he sat in this same position on Scully’s couch six months ago, the answer came to him so clearly. It wasn’t only for her benefit as a life experience that everyone should have the opportunity to have if they so choose; cancer only sped up the timeline of an inevitably. Mulder has never taken a mightier leap with her and she accepted. A singular score for Fox Mulder.

It’s treated as though it never even existed; his presence in that way completely reverted. He wishes he had more of a chance to prove himself worthy. He wishes he was a less of pussy to actually do it. He will, he’s going to. If she is ever willing to forgive him for all of his transgressions.

Mulder carried the knowledge of her ova and of what was likely (and now, very clearly) done with it with a heaviness that rivaled the many other weights he lugs around inside him. Scully’s hope for recovery was dwindling then and it was only another way to hurt her.

It felt criminal to hijack her happiness when she went into remission and her bliss honestly fed his soul. Now, he only piles onto her pain. And if he was any kind of man, if he was someone deserving of someday being a person she would maybe, eventually, love for real, he would have been a lot fucking better.

The flight attendant delivers a glass of water and a box of tissues on a plastic tray. He takes both and offers the glass to Scully. She scoots forward to the edge of her seat, her back straightened, and it reminds him of Bellefleur, and of that young agent in her red robe, and the fear of simple bug bites. It was the moment of cosmiticity bursting into existence between them.

Scully sips water, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. His eyes never leave her for the rest of the flight. He drives her home under the glow of streetlights.

“I can keep you company, if you want,” he offers after insisting he carry her suitcase inside for her. “Might even be able to catch a replay of the Rose Bowl if we’re lucky.”

“That won’t be necessary,” she replies. One hand holds the door and the other is braced on the frame; a universal sign to get lost told through her body language. “I’m going to take a few days. I already let Skinner know.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she agrees. “Goodnight, Mulder.”

“Goodnight, Scully.”

Once the door is shut, he hears the lock click into place. It pains him to walk away.

Mulder calls Scully in the morning as promised. He calls every morning after. It just rings and rings.

No one is expecting her back in the office until Monday, but by Thursday it becomes increasingly clear that a return to normalcy is what she requires. Scully can only stare at California girls immortalized by ages in threes on her mantel for so long.

She trades in her bathrobe for a beige skirt with matching jacket and she slugs down the last of a cup of coffee while she packs her briefcase. The landline rings in its cradle next to her hand. Her stockinged feet slide against the kitchen tile as she turns to answer.

“Hello?”

An unfamiliar female voice carries cheerily into her ear. “Hi there, this is Amanda over at Liberty Fertility Center. I’m looking for Fox Mulder?”

"This is...” Scully starts, and then she pauses, staring up at the ceiling before answering with a restrained sigh. “This is his wife.”

“I’m following up on a call we received from your husband earlier this week about a sample being stored at our facility and possible ova analysis. He left this as the call back number.”

Scully clicks her tongue against her teeth, nodding slowly. She barely focuses on the conversation and when it ends, she retrieves the phone book, slamming it down on the table in place of her briefcase. She dials the first promising number in the correct category.

Heat overtakes her melancholy. Scully is so, so tired of Mulder blanketing his wrongdoings under the guise of protecting her. It has always, ultimately, been her choice to walk alongside him; it was his choice to marry her. He still fills their partnership, their marriage, with secrets. He still withholds.

She can only imagine what is being done to her ova sitting in some facility. Mulder didn’t even have the decency to tell her any even remained.

Scully arrives at the office on Friday and Mulder is immersed in a sea of paperwork and photographs. It is only eight in the morning and he already has his jacket slung over the back of his chair, his sleeves rolled up over his forearms.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you until Monday,” he grins with surprised delight.

Mulder follows her with his eyes as she steps up to his desk. She leans down, kissing him soundly on the mouth, and she observes his dreamy stare when they part.

“I need my ova, Mulder,” she states. Scully pulls a business card out of her pocket; the law firm she called the morning before. “And I want a divorce.”

#x files #xf fic #dana scully #fox mulder #emily sim #msr #this is straight up probably the worst time of day to post lol

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spnfanficpond · 3 years

Text

Pond Diving - emilyshurley

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

Name: Emily

Age: 21

Location: India

URL: @emilyshurley

Why did you choose your URL: Okay this is embarrassing. I was trying to sign up for AO3, so I did a quick Google search for two things, what's the name of Dean's daughter? Emma, and Chuck's last name, Shurley

I accidentally typed Emma as Emily and that's it.

There was a very real chance that my url would have been emmashurley. Thoughts on that one? Maybe I'll change it someday.

What inspired you to become a writer: Being an only child who wasn't allowed to watch tv for more than 2 hours. And not having friends, that also had something to do with it.

How long have you been writing: Fanfiction? 4 years (was on Wattpad before this). In general? 12 years, I guess... I remember showing my first short story to my english teacher in 6th class.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? Cooking, eating what I made. I don't get to cook often so I enjoy it when I can. Other than that, college takes up most of my time. Currently getting my bachelor's degree in science. It's my last year, will probably get master's in zoology next.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? 4 years

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? Way too freaking many. But I write for marvel and I'm thinking of re-posting the very first vampire diaries fanfic I wrote. But are people still into vampires?

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? Mostly journalling, but I occasionally take part in writing competitions and things.

Favorite published author: Amish Tripathi (He mainly writes Hindu mythological fantasy? If that's anyone's jam here)

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: Leap of faith by Danielle Steel. Not for any reason other than the fact that it was the first novel I ever read. My grandfather was reading it, and I told him I wanted to read something too so he gave it to me.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc):Platonic fluff!!!! Give me all the fics of best friends being adorable.

Favorite piece of your own writing: Once upon a Winchester. But I gave myself so little canon to work with that I think I'll continue it after the show ends. I have to know the ending to continue it.

Most underrated fic you have written: Letters to no one. For any marvel fans, it's a two part fic in Natasha's POV, just some letters she thought no one will ever read.

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Project Latrodectus, again marvel. I kinda feel bad for mentioning my marvel fics so much but I'm pulling influences from the story of Eklavya in Mahabharata, which is a Hindu epic so complex that I won't attempt to explain it here.

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): Ahh that's a tough one. I love so many people. At this point, mentioning Myin ( @myinconnelly1 ) feels like cheating because another who has ever looked at my posts can tell she's my favourite human. So I'll try not to mention her further.

Otherwise, Beka ( @impala-dreamer), Kate ( @katehuntington ), @katymacsupernatural and other hoomans I can't remember because I have been away from Tumblr for a while.

Favorite Fic from another writer: Blood and Honey by @kittenofdoomage. And the proposal by @katymacsupernatural

Favorite character to write: Marvel: Natasha Romanoff, Supernatural: I have never written Charlie but I'd love to.

Favorite Pairing to write: So they are platonic ships but Dean and Charlie, the boys and Garth and Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.

Least favorite character to write (and why): Easily John Winchester. I don't know, my brain just can't process his character. Like no matter how many times I try, John just sounds off.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? Irl, my grandfather. On tumblr, Myin. I know, I know I said I won't mention her but Myin is my support system here. No matter what goes on in my brain, no idea is too crazy for her.

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? To make people feel less alone because I think that feels like shit. My goal moving forward is to write more Indian reader and LGBTQ reader fics because I think not many people in the fandom (that I know of) are writing those fics.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Four, all of them are series. Technically 2 are my ongoing ones. And one is an MCU x SPN crossover that's taking a while to plan.

What are you currently working on? Nothing focusing on college these days. But will write random one shots here and there.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? My inability to write romance. No joke, I don't feel like I write it well. So I tend to write general fics and crack fics.

Best writing advice you've been given: Someone recommended the book, writing down the bones, to me a while ago. In the very first chapter it says, use a cheap notebook (so you don't feel guilty about 'bad writing') and a fast writing pen.

Since most of my non fanfic writings are done by hand I like that advice.

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Procrastination. I'm the creator of my one misery here. I push stuff till the last moment then complain about being too busy to do anything.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction?Smut. I can't. I don't know I like to say I don't feel comfortable writing it but the truth is I just think I'd put people off. Which is not the intended outcome.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): More LGBTQ+ characters/reader inserts. Why? Say for example, even though I'm bi, but my version of bisexual Dean might not be something other people would relate to and I'm scared of accidentally offending someone.

What inspires/motivates you to write: What if scenarios. I love speculating and coming up with the context behind what we see on screen. Like an idea that I'll one day use is, what was Sam going when Dean was in hell or purgatory. Sure in one case he hit a dog and met a girl but how?

So I want to write more general fics or like filler between the scenes we see on the screen.

How do you deal with self doubt: By talking to people, knowing I'm not alone in this helps. And sending fics to friends before I post them.

How do you deal with writer's block: Play the sims. What I mean is take a break, do something completely different for a while.

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: I don't, for one shots. For series I have to have an ending or else I'll lose interest very quickly.

Do you have any weird writing habits: Would you consider writing/planning things on paper before writing it on the computer weird?

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? I did. My very first fic on Tumblr. It was a Tony Stark x Indian!Reader fic and someone messaged me saying most content media is written for an American/Western audience. And that Tony Stark would never actually do for someone who's Indian because well Indian characters aren't primarily present in the MUC. So no one wants to read it.

What I did about it? I deleted the fic and every backup I had of it. Because in my head they were right. All Indian get is Bruce Banner doing charity work for "all the poor Indians".

It wasn't until recently that I started talking to @desisamslut that I realised that people actually want to read about reader inserts that are like them. I mean it's called a reader insert for a reason how could I not see it?

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic?When someone made a mood board for my Black Widow fanfiction.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Hang in there, no matter how uncommon you think what you want to write about is, you'll find an audience. I mentioned @desisamslut in another answer, the first thing she told me was she has never seen an indian reader fic, so she felt happy when she read the one I wrote recently.

#pond diving #spnfanficpond #pond diving: emilyshurley

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what-big-teeth · 4 years

Text

Reveal (Cambion Boyfriend, pt. 3)

Gender Neutral Reader x Male Monster [Part 1] [Part 2]

Slight lime ; NSFW-ish

The drive to Cam’s apartment complex is silent, save for the smooth jazz pouring from the radio. You know that not even the masterful tones of John Coltran will be enough to soothe him. The way he grips the steering wheel tersely with paling knuckles is proof. But you choose to remain quiet, watching the familiar scenery glide by until you reach one of the complex’s gates.

You can’t even fathom what to say in this situation. Not after everything that happened.

With the press of a button on Cam’s fob, the iron is pulled away, allowing the car to drive through. He pulls up right in front of his apartment, located on the first floor. With the awkwardness from the car’s interior still lingering between you two, you’d rather not have to rely on Cam to help you inside. So you call upon your stubbornness and manage to haul yourself up using the handle above the passenger side window. Your legs are still horribly weak from whatever your captors injected into your system. But you don’t want to trouble Cam any further—

A gentle hand braces against your lower back.

“Need some help?”

You honestly wish you didn't, but the sweat beading your forehead is obvious proof you do. You nod and lean on his side as you two slowly walk indoors. Everything is as you remember it, even with the few empty water bottles piled on the coffee table and the textbooks littering the carpet. But knowing what you do now…

Cam leads you to the couch. You gladly plop down onto the cushions, wincing from the painful twinge in your back. He swiftly sits by your side, hands hovering at the ready.

“What’s wrong?”

As the dull throbbing dies down, you huff out a laugh.

“Just thinking how support beams aren’t the greatest form of spinal support.”

Instead of lightening the mood as you hoped, your words only deepen his frown. When you try and meet his gaze, he presses to his feet.

“We should take care of those scratches,” he says, walking away.

And just like before, the same awkward air settles around your shoulders, a growing obvious weight.

When Cam returns with the first aid kit, you close your eyes and swallow any attempts at small talk. Hesitance wins out. The only sound that emerges from your mouth are hisses as Cam dabs at your sensitive facial wounds with an alcohol wipe.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

Your conflicting thoughts give way to a churning mixture of emotion. Anger, at being kidnapped. At being lied to for so long by your closest friends. By the Moores. Fear from not knowing whether you’ll see Jacqui again; from wondering if any other Hunters know about you. But there’s happiness as well, mainly at being saved. Your mind is too addled, too tired, to formulate any words regardless of how much you want it to.

You aren’t surprised when you end weeping in reply.

The careful touch of a q-tip stills for a few moments before resuming. Once finished, you expect Cam to get up and leave. But he stays seated, the heat of his body radiating towards you. From the corner of your eye, you see a rich, golden brown hand reach towards your face. It stops short then falls away.

You don’t try to stop Cam when he gathers the used supplies and the kit, standing to his feet. Not even as he heads further down the short hallway. He returns a few moments later, carrying a few items. A pillow, a blanket, an oversized shirt, and a large pair of sweatpants. He sets the pile beside you, just a bit too far away to actually feel his presence.

“You’re more than welcome to use the bathroom tonight if you want,” Cam murmurs. He gathers the used materials, the first aid kit, and stands. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

When he walks down the hallway this time, he ducks into his room. The door closes with a soft click.

You’re left sitting on the couch, staring at the provisions he left behind. The idea of taking a long bath or shower greatly appeals to you. But with no energy to start the process, it’s a lost cause. So you settle on peeling off your sweat-tinged clothes and trading them for the clean pair. But you can’t bring yourself to lie down and sleep.

Part of you doesn’t want this gaping discomfort between the two of you anymore. The other mockingly asks how you even plan to fix...this. The doubt grows louder, telling you that now isn’t the time. That if you sleep, things can go back to normal if only for a while. But a small part of you whispers in reply: when will things be normal, if ever?

The two streams of thought war with each other, back and forth. Until one finally wins out.

It leads you to Cam’s bedroom door and gives you enough courage to raise a loose first. Your knuckles rap against the thick wood three times. No answer. You steel yourself before your bravery wanes and enter his room.

Cam lies in bed, his back facing the open doorway. For a moment, you almost believe he’s asleep. But the subtle way his shoulder blades tense tell you otherwise. And of course it would. You’ve known Cam for years. Even after learning this new development about him, you still do.

It’s why you’re able to to sit beside him, somewhat closer than you were back on the couch. Why you reach out and gently place a hand on his raised shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

“I’m not scared of you, if that’s what you think.” You lick your dry lips and swallow down your building nerves. “You’re still the same dork that loves mythology. The same kid who was horribly protective of his copy of the Matter of Britain. No wonder you were such a huge fan of Merlin while growing up.”

Cam shifts, rolling over to meet your gaze head on.

“This coming from the same person who asked me to read from that book when we were kids. I’d say that makes you as much of a dork as—oof!”

You smack him with a pillow a few times.

“That’s total heresy and you know it, Cameron Sims.”

His laughter is contagious as you keep up the attack. But one of your swings misses, and Cam strikes, grabbing at your wrist. With a startled “hey!”, you attempt to wriggle free but Cam’s grip is iron-clad. All your struggling does is draw you closer until you’re straddling him.

He sits up, still holding your wrist captive with a grin.

“You give?”

“For now,” you say, narrowing your eyes. “But just you wait.”

Cam chuckles deep and low. It’s a sound you didn’t realize you had taken for granted. One you want to keep hearing because this is your childhood friend. And someone you feel more than friendship for.

You reach out and cup his face, silencing his soft laughter. He stares at you with wide, dark brown eyes made visible by the bright moonlight outside. You smile.

“Can I see the real you? Please?”

Your heart pounds heavily in your chest, the sound flooding your veins and echoing in your head. You think Cam can hear the sound, too. He keeps his eyes trained on you as his appearance shifts again. This time, his black, bat-like wings are tucked against his back. But his scales are just as apparent as they were back at the warehouse.

Red-slitted eyes surrounded by black sclera regard the way your gaze widens. And you reach up with your other hand, letting your fingertips graze the odd yet faint blood red marks underneath his right eye.

“Are these letters?” you ask.

Cam leans into your touch with a soft breath.

“Yeah. They spell my demonic name: Caimellus.”

You say his name, repeating the three syllables a few times. You rather like how it sounds on your tongue.

“They’re faded,” he says, “because my mother was human while my father was an incubus. She was an ex-Hunter, to be more precise.”

Your mind recalls the robbery that took the lives of Cam’s parents. His mother, kind and gentle, and his caring yet stern father were never seen again after that night. The authorities cited the intruders as the cause of their deaths, which makes horrific sense. As does his sudden adoption by his godfather.

“It was the Conclave, wasn’t it?” you murmur. “Is that why you were taken in by Dr. Lane?”

Cam nods.

“He was my father’s trusted ally and another incubus. Once he heard about what happened, he immediately claimed me as my father wished in case he died. Dr. Lane is the reason I’ve been able to lay low and hide my demonic nature for so long.”

The moment of silence between you two is bittersweet in many ways. But you refuse to let it deter you from learning more about Cam.

Feeling emboldened by what’s been shared with you, you keep asking questions. Yes, he can feed off of human energy through sexual contact, but chooses not to. Thanks to Dr. Lane’s careful tutelage, Cam learned how to feed through platonic touch instead. The pinch you give to his side for realizing how he was able to lull to sleep as kids is only acknowledged with a chuckle.

You keep going, letting your fingertips trail and touch parts of his body. He confirms his scales are for defense while his claws are weapons in their own right. So are his fangs and tail, if he so chooses. The horns are more of an intimidation factor than anything else—

A dampened moan interrupts his explanation. Your fingertips have barely grazed the area where his horns and his scalp meet.

“S-sorry,” he says, sounding a little breathless. “Sensitive area.”

You don’t apologize. Because you aren’t sorry. And while holding his unsure if embarrassed gaze, you can’t help but want more.

“Can I...I want to thank you for saving me,” you whisper. “But only if you want me to.”

As if reading your mind, his slitted gaze flits down towards your lips before finding your eyes again.

“Please,” he breathes.

You lean down and press your lips against his. The kiss is chaste, as much as you wish it wasn’t, because it’s taken all of your nerves just to do this much. You can be satisfied with just this, even if he doesn’t return your feelings. You begin to pull away, only for a warm, steady touch against the nape of your neck to stop you.

Cam slots his mouth against yours, groaning at the contact. His claws gently scrape against your scalp, making you shudder and gasp. He uses the moment to press his tongue against yours, which you’re more than receptive to. There’s a sharp nip to your lip that you return with a huff of laughter. You “accidentally” let your fingers curl around the base of his horns and slowly rub the black keratin. He growls, a low yet deep sound, as he pulls you close so there’s no space between your bodies. You feel something wind around your waist and give it a brief squeeze.

Eventually, your lungs begin to burn. Just enough to cause some discomfort. You pull away from Cam with one last moan. Heat sears your cheeks from seeing the thin trail still connecting your mouths. It’s broken when Cam smirks up at you.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years.”

You’ve barely registered his words before his lips find yours again. It takes all your focus to not give in to the softness and warmth of his mouth.

“S-since when?” you manage before he silences you.

“Senior year.” A scrape of fang. “High school.” The slightest squeeze from his tail and his claw-tipped hands. “Night before prom.”

You force yourself to pull away and bite your bottom lip to ground yourself. When Cam attempts to follow, you press your fingertips against his mouth. But he kisses them, undeterred. You use the moment to catch your breath.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Your fingers are left a little cold by his retreat.

“Growing up, you only knew me as Cameron: a black, nerdy kid with coke-bottle glasses that was way into mythology and reading. As much as I wanted to tell you while growing up, I didn’t know if you would be okay with knowing me as Caimellus.”

So that’s the reason. This whole time, and even before, he’s been just as unsure as you. But not anymore. You hope he understands when you cup his face in your hands, and skim the pads of your thumbs against his cheeks. That when you press a kiss against the faint demonic lettering staining his skin, he knows. Witnessing the glassy shine to his eyes, you know he does. But hearing the words can’t hurt, either.

“I love you and I want to know both parts of you. Cam and Caimellus. Everything you have to offer, I want, for as long as you want me.”

Your body tips over, landing against the bed leaving you to stare up at Cam. He brushes the back of his knuckles against your cheek and smiles.

“Will forever work?”

You grin.

“Of course it will—”

You gasp as his clawed hands dip under your borrowed shirt, trailing up to your chest. All while his tail winds up your clothed leg and gently squeezes.

“Because I really like hearing you say my name,” he breathes against your neck.

Your fingers dig into his shirt and pull at the worn fabric.

“If you want to hear it again, you’ve got a couple of years to make up for. Think you can do it?”

One of his hands slips past the elastic of your sweatpants and you can’t help but lift your hips.

“In spades,” he promises.

“Sounds good to me.”

#cambion boyfriend #monster boyfriend #monster romance #monster/human #exophilia #terato #half-demon #half demon #lime #hope you guys enjoy!

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bellarkefanfiction · 5 years

Text

#NoClickbait

written by: Josefine / @selflessbellamy

prompt: This is typical but maybe distracting kiss while playing a video game? Person A is competitive, 100% focused on winning and person B starts to plant kisses, all because of the competition, no one is in love here, it's a cold, calculating strategy. for anonymous

word count: 2204

Sharing an apartment with a Youtuber has its pros and cons. For instance, her roommate has — on numerous occasions — demanded to film alone in the living room for hours, because “it has much better lighting.” At night, she often hears him groan loud in frustration while editing, which would be funny if she didn’t have to wake up early for class most mornings.

However, the pros outweigh the cons, at least as it is right now. They’ve been living together for almost a year now, and since she told him that she didn’t mind being a part of his videos every once in a while, he has involved her in his creative process. Unlike a lot of YouTube channels, Bellamy Blake’s offers a wide range of different content, such as:

cook with me: grilled chicken breast (with a twist)

vlog: a day at the bookstore + haul

history has left us: queer!Achilles (Pride Month special)

If his subscriber count of 3.2 million is anything to go by, this kind of content is great entertainment for everyone watching. Hell, Clarke even watches his videos despite the fact that she lives with him and could easily just sneak into the living room to watch him film. Still, she attempts to stay away, because Bellamy doesn’t tend to stare over her shoulder as she draws one of her pictures.

Sometimes, though, her thriving curiosity gets the better of her. When he first noticed her piqued interest, his dark eyes crinkled at the corners and he told her, “Princess, if you wanna know what I’m doing then you have to be a part of it.”

At first, Clarke had wondered whether having her show up in his videos was just gonna be a cheap clickbait trick, so that he could include her in the thumbnail and write a title called ‘vlog: Santa Monica with my girlfriend’, but he didn’t.

Instead, he turned the camera on her face as they were walking down the peer and said, “Oh, by the way guys. This is my roommate Clarke. She’s tagging along.”

He had probably expected her to not say anything, maybe give a shy little wave in response, because that’s what usually happens when people are camera shy. Clarke’s actual reaction was so far from that. In teasing, she stuck her tongue out at him and retorted, “Oh please, you’re the one who’s tagging along. I need someone to help me decide which Bath Bomb to get.”

That is the start of Clarke’s appearance in Bellamy’s videos, and since then she has only showed up more, for longer periods of time. A couple weeks ago she assisted him while he did the ‘Blindfolded Book Challenge’ by picking various classics and non-fiction works from his bookshelf.

After that video was posted, he told her not to look at the comments, which only made her suspicious, because he’d never advised her to stay away from the comment section of his videos before, and for a moment she thought that his viewers were perhaps making fun of her or something. Despite that the possibilities made her somewhat nervous, she couldn’t hold herself back.

The most popular comment jumped out at her:

[Top Comments - click to show]

Dani Larsson: y’all can’t tell us you’re not dating after this.

781+

Gulping, Clarke clicked on the replies and found the first couple ones to be:

Lydia Marcello: yea, just look at 13:52. That shoulder-lean is the least platonic thing I have seen in the modern era.

123+

Furrowing her brow, Clarke went to the timestamp to see what the girl was referring to — and there right before the end of the video as Bellamy said, “I guess that’s it for the Blindfolded Book Challenge. Thanks for watching!” — he pulled Clarke against his side, making her lean her head against his shoulder for a second, smiling.

After forcing her eyes off the frozen frame, Clarke looked at the comment below Lydia Marcello’s only to find:

TJ Byrne: Well, if he’s not dating her, I would love to tap that.

While the comment didn’t bother her much, it sure as hell seemed to have bothered Bellamy (and a lot of his loyal viewers), because he had actually responded:

Bellamy Blake: @TJ Byrne: Too bad. Sexist white Internet creeps aren’t her type.

201+

Clarke had to bite back the urge to laugh. Also, it was difficult to ignore the clear voice at the back of her head who kept telling her that men with bronze, freckled skin and lots of sharp edges is her type. Still, she has only ever seen one person who looks like that.

A person, whose laughter could light up the entire world, who places pencils behind his ear and hums while he cooks.

***

One late afternoon she returns, violet and vermillion paint caked beneath her fingernails, to the sight of Bellamy sitting cross-legged on the couch, his trusted laptop in front of him and square glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. As always, he looks up when she enters the living room.

“I’m gonna cook dinner. Chicken Alfredo pasta, does that sound good?”

He beams, most likely with as much surprise as amusement, because she’s rarely the one who prepares meals. Still, she wants to prove to him that she’s learned quite a lot from watching his culinary-themed videos.

“Very,” is his simple comment, though the lone word manages to convey his enthusiasm. When she turns to walk into the kitchen, he suddenly adds, “Hey, Clarke, would you mind being in a video later?”

The curiosity in her mind sparks like colorful fireworks. “What kind of video?” Given the complexity of Bellamy’s content, it’s impossible for her to have the faintest idea… Maybe it’s another challenge video? A casual vlog? One of his informative history sessions?

Then he explains that his viewers would love his nostalgia series to feature a gaming video. “I have Mario Kart for my old PlayStation, so… I thought it’d be more fun if we played it together. You know I love how competitive you are.”

That last bit seems to be coated in fondness, the words soft — a stark contrast to his usual teasing tone, and it has color rising to her cheeks, undoubtedly. In order to hide the blush, Clarke turns away, but not without saying, “Of course. That sounds fun,” over her shoulder.

To her joy, Bellamy eats two large portions of the Chicken Alfredo pasta and praises her for using vegetables and spices that complement the creamy sauce. Hearing him say this makes her heart feel warm.

Together, they do the dishes while listening to ‘Cigarette Daydreams’ from one of Bellamy’s vinyl records. Most of his collection he inherited from his dad, but he adds a newer record once in a while. Afterwards the struggle with setting up the lights in preparation for filming — since the sky has now darkened, they need to improve the lighting in the living room.

Before they can turn on the camera, they have to plan a quick intro. Of course, Bellamy will do the most of the talking, since it’s his channel, but he tells her that he doesn’t want her to hold anything back, especially not during the gameplay itself.

It feels like an eternity has passed. At last, Bellamy clicks record, takes a seat next to Clarke and says, “Welcome back guys! I looked at your requests and quickly had to realize that you all want to see me play a video game,” he runs his fingers through the back of his hair, “As you will probably find out, I suck at gaming. I’ve killed a Sim once, and it was not on purpose.”

Clarke mouths, “He has,” hoping that the teasing it will amuse some of his viewers.

“Anyway, I dragged the Princess along for this one. She’s gonna crush me as Peach.”

Chuckling, she replies, “Oh, I sure am. No more of that ‘damsel in distress’ Peach. Those days are over, and you’re gonna go down.”

Even though they didn’t plan it for the intro, they look at each other, faces inches from one another to signify the “stand-off” that’s about to happen. However, within a couple seconds, they both crack up.

As it turns out, Bellamy is not actually bad at Mario Kart, which seems to surprise him way more than it does her. Within ten of playing minutes, he’s in 3rd place, but he makes the mistake of gloating, “Now, who’s gonna go down, Princess?”

Maybe they should stop using that expression…

Oh, well. “You still are,” Clarke laughs just as she uses the Starman that she’s had up her sleeve for a couple minutes, and while it does help her overtake a lot of players, she’s only gets to the fourth position, right behind him.

Bellamy does what he can to maintain his lead. Out of the corner of her eye, Clarke sees him lick his lips in concentration, and the sight damn near distracts her. Quickly, she collects herself, and while it’s difficult to keep up with him when she has to stay on the course, she’s tailing him.

When he bumps his shoulder against hers in teasing, moving his controller just to annoy her, an unfamiliar sensation sparks in her ribcage, causing her to lean closer and press her lips to his neck, right below his sharp jawline. At first she feels him freeze. Scared that she has overstepped an invisible boundary, she draws back, but he…

He is smiling. “You think you can distract me?”

“I can’t?” Turning her attention back to the television, Clarke smirks as her heart flips itself over and over.

Now she thinks she notices the faint pink tint in his freckled cheeks, but it might be her eyes playing a trick on her. With much confidence, Bellamy says, “You gotta keep trying…”

Right now, they’re doing the final lap around the course, still tailing each other, brushing each other like they are in real life. It seems as though he just gave her another challenge — one, which she is even more determined to win. Therefore, she giggles slightly, kisses his throat again, a little lower this time, then his shoulder and the back of his ear.

He releases a strange sound that must be somewhere between a groan and a chuckle. Unsuccessful, he tries to brush her off, but she can feel the heat that’s rising to his skin by the second.

Just when she leans in for the sixth kiss, he groans, tossing his controller to the side. She doesn’t recognize the emotion flashing in his earthy eyes, but she is not afraid of it. Bellamy murmurs intelligibly before giving her a gentle push to the floor — out of the camera frame — on her back, she watches his face move closer to hers than it ever has until she can almost sense the amazing warmth that pours from his features. Taking a slow breath, he nuzzles her, which has her entire chest feeling like jelly.

When their lips meet, it’s as if the living room is filled with light, though it must be nearing midnight. The happiness bubbles in her stomach, runs through her veins to mix with her bloodstream. Burying her fingers in the dark, soft curls of his hair, Clarke deepens the kiss a little, causing him to smile against her lips.

“I’m gonna have to edit this out.”

She laughs at that statement. “The video is useless now, Bellamy. We’ve both fallen off the course before the finish line.”

“Well, it was worth it.”

As opposed to sleeping that night, they sit on the bed in his room eating dry Coco Puffs while talking about where to go from there.

What they end up doing is reshooting the Mario Kart video the next day (Bellamy wins, much to her dismay), then spend the next eight months trying to hide their relationship from his online following, which is easy when she can simply not be present in his videos.

His viewers, however, are far from stupid. The first video that she appears in after the Mario Kart one is a casual writing vlog, where she brings him a cup of black coffee after his all-nighter. And it’s one tiny detail that Bellamy missed in editing that effectively exposes them:

[Top Comments - click to show]

Christine Hollinger: oh my god, he murmurs ‘thanks, babe’ at 8:46 asdjffikoxxkak… Y’ALL

863+

theo lewis: *platonically calls my roommate ‘babe’*

219+

After that, they have to come to terms with the fact that their secret is out, and because Bellamy doesn’t want to trick his followers, he decides to make the announcement (albeit casually) in his next video, which is a brief daily vlog. Bellamy turns the camera towards the balcony, on which she is standing, looking at the sinking sun.

“Isn’t she beautiful? I’m so lucky.”

No forced, half-assed video of them explaining how they got together, no cheesy girlfriend tag — just a simple yet revealing comment. Their relationship is not clickbait; it’s not something that he’s going to use to gain more followers. It’s too important for that.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #bffnet #a: selflessbellamy #wt: josefine #bffwritingteam #prompts #oneshots #title: noclickbait #modern au #roommates #friends to lovers #social media au #youtuber!bellamy #fluff #youtube au

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enigmari · 4 years

Note

Oh my GOD Please infodump abt hatoful.... ive repeatedly tried to get into it but have no idea how/how to connect any of the lore. Thanos !

I SAW THE TYPO TOO LATE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO END WITH “THANKS”,

SKDFSKJSLKDFJ no worries anon, it happens to the best of us. Anyways, how should I start this…

So, if you’re totally new here, Hatoful Boyfriend is a visual novel dating sim whose basic premise is “what if cliched boyfriend archetypes… but birds?” And it takes this premise completely wholeheartedly, while still maintaining a comedic tone. You pick classes and club activities each in-game day to increase your skill points, and depending on your levels (and a few dialogue options) you’ll either successfully romance your birdie of choice or get a Bad End. Most of the birds make their interests/level requirements obvious from the start, and you have a bunch of save slots to work with if you wanna go the scum route. Pretty simple and straightforward.

(Actually, that’s a lie, it gets much more complicated later. Don’t worry about that right now.)

Most of HBF is framed through the perspective of the protagonist (I’m gonna use her canon name for convenience) Hiyoko, and she is… not the brightest bulb in the box. Especially in the first game, when events in one character’s route will be foreshadowed in other routes, she will rarely call them out or make note of them. Naturally, this also means some reveals will be spoiled depending on which order you do the routes in. You also unlock documents in the Archive section after completing each route, which adds another level of puzzle piecing to the mix.

(No, this is not the complicated part I was talking about earlier. Sorry.)

In this next bit, I’m going to briefly run through the routes of the first game from least to most complex in terms of lore, as well as what things are foreshadowed when. I’ll also toss in the archive documents when I feel they’re most relevant to the information you have. We ready?

Okosan’s routes: Mostly joke endings, unless there is some greater plot significance to pudding that I’ve missed for all these years.

Ryouta’s route: Mostly about character building, the only real hint you get is that his mother is sickly and it’s implied he inherited this from her.

Azami’s routes: You could get here with the same stats as Ryouta’s route, but then you fuck it up by taking this job opportunity away from him. How rude, Hiyoko.

Sakuya’s first route: He opens up to you about his abusive and bigoted dad, and with some encouragement you encourage him to run away and become a musician like he always wanted. Mr. Le Bel is very important to multiple other characters in this game.

Sakuya’s second route (needs perfect stats/dialogue choices): Same conversation about his dad, but he chooses to live with you instead. Your big hint is at the end, when Yuuya sends you a letter saying there’s “something he’s wanted to tell [Sakuya] for a long time. Something important.”

Yuuya’s route: You don’t actually get to find out what the "important thing" is, whoops. You do find out that Yuuya’s a spy for the Dove Party, Shuu is one for the Hawk Party, and the school has been increasingly influenced by the Hawk Party as of late.

BAD END: You may have gotten it earlier, but now you have context as to who’s killing you when you fail a route- it’s the Hawk Party. The reason why is still unclear.

[CW for gore, child death, medical abuse, suicide, and attempted genocide from here on! This game is a trip!]

Shuu’s first route: Absolutely not a romance route and if you ship Shuu/Hiyoko please block me and tab out immediately thank you very much. You learn that Shuu has been killing students for medical experimentation, confirming Yuuya’s suspicions about the quills in the student store and the food in the cafeteria.

Shuu’s second route (needs perfect stats/dialogue choices): Same ending where Hiyoko dies, but he’s attached enough to her that he takes her head in a jar when he goes on the run. You do learn that Shuu doesn’t care about the Hawk Party’s politics, just that they can enable his personal experiments.

Archive Note 11: Someone (Shuu) knew that Yuuya was a Dove Party agent from the start. He also notes that some of the students are “fascinating”, which you know from his route means they’re good experiment fodder. You learn that he has reason to believe his victims won’t oppose the experimentation, but not the details.

Archive Note 10: Shuu makes notes about human “adaptability measures.” Given that Hiyoko is the only human at the school, you can guess that this will involve her in some way.

Archive Note 06: Notes about the Spanish Flu, how deadly it was to humans, and the connection to an “Avian Influenza.”

Archive Note 04: Notes about a “Goodwill Ambassador” for humanity, who needs a strong natural immunity to Avian Influenza. Hiyoko’s stats show that she has a base level of 800 Vitality, so you can guess that she’s the ambassador. This is why she dies when you fail a route- the Hawk Party saw she didn’t build a good enough connection to the birds, so they take her as a lost cause.

Archive Note 07: Shuu makes notes about “carrier capacity” in the student body, inducing it in some way in a “normal” individual. You can guess this is the details of his medical experimentation, but not who the victim is. You can also guess that the disease to be carried is Avian Influenza.

Anghel’s route: It’s not actually that complicated, but I think you need to complete Shuu’s route before the “mad love of a fallen angel” option is available. (EDIT: you actually just need to complete one playthrough to unlock this option. Even the Azami solo ending will unlock it.) This ending seemingly undermines all the things we learned about Shuu right before, but this is just Hiyoko’s perspective.

Archive Note 01: A certain student (Anghel) has hallucinogenic properties that can affect bystanders, putting them in a trance-like state. This explains why everything went totally off the rails in his route.

Kazuaki’s route: Again not a romance route (no matter what he says about “waiting”, ew) because the whole point is that Kazuaki is afraid to open himself up to love of any kind. You learn he had someone he cared deeply about in the past but lost, and now he’s been soured from the experience. You also learn that he smells like bleach.

Nageki’s route: You learn that he’s a ghost, that he killed himself in the school some years ago, and that he doesn’t have all his memories. He disappears before you learn anything more, but he’s happy so it’s okay and why am I crying agai-

Archive Note 02: Someone (Nageki) writes about how they are trapped, and can’t remember what happened to them.

Archive Note 05: Nageki remembers he made a promise to someone very important, but he can’t remember who or what it was.

Archive Note 03: Nageki once woke up in a place that wasn’t the library- somewhere with bright lights and a white ceiling. He’s not as trapped as he first thought.

Archive Note 14: Nageki notes that he can move between floors, going from the library to the chemistry lab below. You can guess that the place with the bright lights is somewhere below these two rooms. This also reveals that Nageki knew the layout of the school when he was alive.

Archive Note 12: Nageki notes that after meeting Hiyoko, he feels fulfilled “just as he did back then.” He still can’t remember everything, though.

Archive Note 08: Notes about an underground facility, a fire, and a Subject 00 whose remains are in storage. You can guess that the facility is the place with the bright lights, and Nageki is Subject 00. You can also guess that Nageki set the fire, since he said that he killed himself.

Archive Note 09: Notes about Subject 00′s relative, whose remains are also in storage. You can guess that this is the “important person” that Nageki made a promise to a long time ago.

At this point, the only documents left are Note 13, which is about a terrorist incident at the Heartful House orphanage in which only two birds survived, and Note 15, which is about another terrorist incident some years ago in which the Ave’s High City building was bombed. Nothing in the main routes hints at these notes, so it’s a good time to move to…

Bad Boys Love route: This route is literally the length of the rest of the routes combined, so we’re doin’ more sections, baby!

Kazuaki’s lost loved one and Nageki’s important person turn out to be each other. They were the survivors of the Heartful House incident, and Kazuaki (real name Hitori) took care of his little brother by himself. Nageki was sickly, so he volunteered himself for a medical experiment at the school that could potentially cure him to take the burden off of Hitori.

Unbeknownst to them, the Hawk Party was already in control of the school and their real motive was to investigate the disease Nageki was carrying- Avian Influenza. Shuu was specifically the lead for this project, and he also witnessed the Heartful House incident when it happened. At the time, he went by the name Isa Souma and was a medical researcher. He worked with Ryuuji Kawara, Ryouta’s dad, until Ryuuji’s death from disease.

Ryouta and Hiyoko were also there, because her parents were former human ambassadors too. Unfortunately, they became some of the casualties, which left the two kids heartbroken. Shuu, seeing them and recognizing Ryouta, offered to grant them a wish. They both wished for a world where humans and birds would never fight anymore, which Shuu took to mean “kill all the remaining humans so they can’t fight the birds” because… he’s like that.

Shuu decided that the easiest way to kill all the humans would be to spread the Avian Influenza, and this is why he sought out Nageki. Nageki was forced to kill humans as part of the experiments, and this traumatized him so much that he set the lab on fire to stop it, trapping himself inside. Hitori witnessed this too, and swore to get revenge despite Nageki asking him to destroy his remains and live a happy life. He bleached his feathers and swapped identities with another bird to fake his death, and applied to the school as a teacher under his new name.

Nageki’s plan didn’t entirely work, and the Hawk Party was able to store some of his remains for future experiments with Avian Influenza. This brings us to the timeline of the main routes, where Shuu took advantage of Ryouta’s sickly constitution to make him a new carrier for Avian Influenza. Yuuya tried to interfere on behalf of the Dove Party, but Shuu blackmailed him with the knowledge that he killed his real half-brother because he hated Mr. Le Bel and wanted Sakuya to live instead.

The new strain of Avian Influenza that Ryouta carried was enough to make Hiyoko sick and kill her. The death of the Human Ambassador kickstarts the beginning of this route, and Shuu planned for the humans who would retaliate to also be infected. It doesn’t go as he planned, of course, but that’s laid out pretty well in the rest of the route so I won’t re-summarize it here.

Aaaand that’s about everything for the first Hatoful Boyfriend game! I’ll gladly do infodumps/lore summaries for Holiday Star or the other side materials if anyone wants, but this took almost three hours to write as is so I’m going to give myself a break.

#anonymous #ask me #mari.txt #hatoful boyfriend #EDIT: THIS IS VERY SPOILERY. I HOPED IT WAS OBVIOUS FROM THE LORE REQUEST BUT YEAH.#i don't think it'll spoil your enjoyment of the game bc i didn't go into that many details (also experiencing =/= reading) but yeah.

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kirinda-ondo · 5 years

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So I have some thoughts and feelings about Vishnal Rune Factory

I am aware that approximately two other people besides me care about this, but literally when has it ever stopped me from rambling at length

So basically, I love Vishnal from Rune Factory 4. Like, a lot. I never commit to anyone in farm sims but boy howdy, he managed to hit literally all the criteria I have to be considered a Favorite Character™. He did it so well, in fact, he’s earned a spot alongside characters like Cobalt or Lydia. But like those characters, while there are people who like him, I feel as though he doesn’t get enough credit. The complaints I’ve seen tend to be that he’s boring and that he has the worst proposal event. Hell, one of the first few results from googling him is a thread asking if he’s supposed to be a joke character. While I can see where this sentiment might come from, I’d like to explain the appeal in a lot of the things people find fault in him for (at least for me), and maybe offer a bit of a different perspective, I guess.

If I had to guess where a lot of these problems that people have with him come from, it’s probably the fact that he doesn’t have a lot of lore behind him. To be honest, Vishnal doesn’t really have a whole lot of plot significance. He doesn’t have any direct connection to the capitol of Norad like Arthur or Kiel (via his sister Forte), he’s got nothing to do with the Sechs empire like Doug, and he’s not a guardian like Dylas and Leon. Vishnal, despite working in a castle and serving Ventuswill (who we shall henceforth refer to as Venti), a literal dragon god, is an everyman by comparison. He’s just a guy trying to do his job the best he can.

Similarly, he also doesn’t have a whole lot of mystery or drama behind him either. With pretty much every other bachelor, there’s usually some kind of dark secret from their past that comes up and has to be dealt with, either through the main plot or through their proposal events. To just give you an idea of the kind of things we’re dealing with here, let’s do a rundown.

Doug’s entire tribe was killed by Sechs soldiers, but the empire fed him propaganda to make him believe that Venti was responsible so that he would work undercover for them in order to kill her and take the Rune Spheres.

Arthur was an illegitimate child of Norad’s king and believes that his mother hated him so much she had to take off her glasses so that she didn’t have to look at him, causing him to have severe trust issues (as well as a glasses fetish? Have fun with that, Freud).

Kiel (and by extension, his sister) is trapped in a well-meaning, but incredibly fucked up family dynamic that forced him to be incredibly sheltered while Forte took on the duties of a knight in a heavily male dominated society to protect him. However, since both of their parents are dead, they have no idea that they’re allowed to free themselves and become their own people.

Dylas sacrificed himself to become a guardian, fusing with a monster in order to act as a living life support to help keep Venti alive, but when he’s finally free, he’s hundreds of years into the future, where everything he knows is gone. It’s also implied that before he became a guardian, he was suicidal.

Leon, like Dylas, also sacrificed himself to become a guardian and was flung far into the future. However, he also has the added guilt of believing he left his childhood friend to live the rest of her life emotionally stunted because when he was younger, he made a promise to marry her if she stopped crying so much, but didn’t take it seriously as she did, and couldn’t have kept it even if he did.

Meanwhile, Vishnal has had an utterly average life. In order to help people, he wanted to become a doctor like his father, but felt he wasn’t smart enough, so when he met a butler named Sebastian, he was so impressed he decided to become a butler himself. Though he was worried his father wouldn’t approve of this way of helping people, he was ultimately supportive, helping him train and, through a friend’s connections, getting him to Selphia to work under Volkanon.

Vishnal is basically Clark from Connecticut in terms of how average he is by comparison. However, I wouldn’t say this is a bad thing. Even dealing with one of these traumatic backstories is a lot, let alone trying to harem them all (and don’t even get me started on the main plot’s drama). A lot of the resolutions to these character arcs are followed up by a proposal, and maybe it’s just my age and personal experiences (or the fact that I’m aroace), but when that happens, I don’t get the feeling of “YES, TAKE ME NOW!” I just think “…You literally just found out the thing that’s been screwing you up your entire life was a giant misunderstanding. I get that you’re happy but like, maybe take some time to sort yourself out? See a therapist maybe???”

But Vishnal, for all of his faults (of which there are many and I will get to that later), generally has his shit together. I respect that and find it a breath of fresh air compared to the cavalcade of angst in everyone else’s lives. Not to say that he doesn’t have any problems at all, because then that would be boring, but they tend to be more focused in the present, and are a bit more grounded in reality and less… spectacular. But like I said, we’ll get to that.

What he lacks in terms of dramatic backstory, he makes up for in personality. He’s very… intense, to put it mildly. While not completely hyper, he’s very high energy and it doesn’t take much to get him psyched up. He’s the type of person to put at least 110% effort in everything he does, and nearly everything he does goes towards his goal of becoming the world’s best butler. Unfortunately, as a result, he’s considered one-note. Now, I’m not going to sit here and say he doesn’t talk about butler things all the time, because he absolutely does, but for me, as someone who also tends to get super into things and talk about them endlessly (hence this entire ramble), I find him pretty endearing, if not a tad relatable in that regard. However, for all his single-mindedness, he is still a decently multifaceted character.

Probably the most important thing to note here is that he is a very good person, like “too good for this sinful earth” kind of good. He has a natural drive to help others and doesn’t have a mean word to say about anyone (though even he engages in the ultimate Selphian pastime of Teasing Doug™ on occasion). He’s also honest to a fault. It’s incredibly easy to tell if he’s trying to cover something up because he’s usually pretty much an open book and wears his heart on his sleeve. He seems to expect others to be the same way, as he has a bad habit of taking what people say at face value even if they’ve repeatedly shown not to be trustworthy. This often leads him to be the butt of many a joke or the victim of scams. Other times, lighthearted teasing falls flat as he takes it seriously and winds up getting his feelings hurt. But ever the optimist, he doesn’t let setbacks get him down for long.

He very much believes in the power of hard work overcoming any obstacle, and it seems in his mind, literally anything is possible if you train hard enough, and he’s constantly trying to prepare himself to master every possible scenario, from protecting important secrets by staying silent to becoming invincible to the common cold by constantly being soaked with water. It generally winds up doing him more harm than good, and even Doug worries about him a little bit because Vishnal will do pretty much anything if you tell him it’s special training (though this does not even remotely stop Doug from having a field day with it). Were this not a very “anime” kind of game, it would honestly be amazing if he hadn’t died from any of his training attempts.

Though it may come across as though he has no idea what is actually possible for a human to achieve, he actually seems to have quite a few hangups about his own limitations. He has a massive perfectionist complex and is incredibly hard on himself. He tends to beat himself up quite a bit when he makes mistakes (I mean the man looks utterly devastated every time he screws up lunch) and outright warns the player (who we shall henceforth refer to as Frey) that he may cause her trouble. However, he’s not quite as terrible as he might imply. While he is gullible and very much a klutz, he’s got a wide variety of skills and knowledge he rarely gives himself credit for. For instance, he’s not exactly street smart by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s well-read to a degree that he can actually read things from Arthur’s library (which says a lot because Arthur is a colossal nerd), and he’s knowledgeable on a number of subjects from farming to geography. On the lake date (when it’s not summer), you have the option to ask him more about the kind of training he would do, and he rattles off a list of insane skills (I.e. making tea so good as to become its own singularity…singularitea, if you will) like it’s no big deal. Mind you, given what someone like Volkanon is capable of, that may just be par for the course as far as butlers go in this universe, but for your average person, that’s honestly impressive, if not a bit terrifying.

His confidence (or lack thereof), however, tends to reflect in the quality of his work. In a small example, every so often, he offers Frey his attempt at curry rice. It’s hot garbage, but if she tells him it’s good, he admits he wasn’t very confident in it. However, we see in his prerequisite event (which is a much more overt example) that when he’s more confident in himself, he’s not only able to make actual food, but is downright hypercompetent in his job. For context, he is conned into buying an overpriced statue that, according to blacksmith and Professional Vishnal Scammer™ Bado, will allegedly make him an expert overnight. Wholly believing in this thing, he’s suddenly amazing… until he accidentally knocks it over and breaks it. Utterly devastated and unconvinced that his improved performance came from within, he’s suddenly infinitely worse than he was when he started. Things of course balance themselves out, but we come away realizing that if he had as much self-confidence as he did pure determination, he could easily reach a point where he’d be absolutely unstoppable.

We also see this lack of confidence manifest itself in regards to Frey. If she pursues a relationship, we get quite a bit of evidence that he doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. Before he formally asks her out, he lists all the things he does wrong; all the ways he’s a novice, essentially warning her of what she may have to deal with. However, if Frey’s conquered the RNG and made it this far, then it’s safe to say that she’s prepared to take the risk. On the airship date, he outright says once he becomes an expert, he’ll finally be the perfect man for her. Even during his own damn proposal event, he tells her he’s unreliable. This is incredibly far from the case, as even if he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, he’s doing everything he can to make this work. He works himself even harder to maximize his time with her, he buys (phony) charms from Bado to keep them together, he asks other bachelors for advice (as poor is it may be at times), he literally asks the entire town for date spot reviews, as well as just straight up reading up on how to be the best possible boyfriend.

Eventually, should the RNG gods be smiling, this brings us to the proposal event. Now, one might imagine that this event might follow the thread we’ve been building up here into him learning maybe not to beat himself up so much or becoming a little more self-confident, but no. While this sort of thing happens for a number of other bachelors/bachelorettes, where their prerequisite events foreshadow what’s to come in their proposal events, that isn’t quite the case here. While that development does occur to a degree, it’s a bit more subtle and is not really the focus of this event.

His proposal event instead mainly forces him to consider his priorities. So for some context, a butler judge has come, and if Vishnal does well, he may finally earn his first star and be one step closer to being the ultimate butler. In fact, his abilities are already recognized as worthy of the title, but there’s just once teensy little problem. You see, in butlerdom, your master and your partner being one in the same is a bit of a taboo. Dating your boss creates a whole host of problems, after all; not just for you, but your reputation. And so this is where the conundrum comes in. We already know he’s incredibly dedicated to this career choice to the point that if he doesn’t succeed, he will literally die trying, but he’s now just as dedicated to Frey. Being that this is a proposal event though, you pretty much already know how this is going to end, but just hear me out.

This is currently the biggest decision he’s ever made in his life, and is essentially the emotional equivalent of having to choose between losing your right hand or your left. He obviously doesn’t want to throw away years of hard work, but he’s also not the type to just leave someone behind in pursuit of his own interests. Frey ultimately saves him from waffling back and forth about it forever by breaking things off so he can pursue his dreams, but literally no one is happy with this. Even the judge feels bad and he’s the one who started it. But with this little problem out of the way, Vishnal is free to accept his new rank. Except he doesn’t. After a dramatic, heartfelt speech pointing out that this actually puts him in a better position to serve Frey, and how reputations shouldn’t matter more than protecting the person you’re entrusted to, he whisks her away and proposes. Before she can properly answer though, he’s called back to the castle. In the end, the judge is moved by his dedication, and so Vishnal can now have his cake and eat it too. Short, sweet, and to the point.

It’s probably about half the length of the other bachelors’ events, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad. It’s actually a pretty nice contrast between the other proposals. Leon, Arthur, and Kiel have the common thread of having to sort out baggage from their past before they decide to marry. Doug and Dylas, while their events are more lighthearted, are a bit more focused on a lack of communication and resulting misunderstandings that come from trying to surprise Frey with a ring. However, because Vishnal’s life isn’t a veritable conga line of angst and trauma, his obstacle to marriage is entirely in the present, and because he’s so open about his feelings, he and Frey actually have a chance to sit down and discuss where to go from here, so there’s no communication issues. Plus, his situation, while a bit dramatically handled because anime, is actually kind of relatable. Having to choose between a career and a relationship is a situation that happens to a pretty good number of people, and it’s rarely an easy decision. It’s a logical conflict for such a work focused character.

While it doesn’t really overtly follow up on the initial thread that seemed to have been laid out of him learning to be more confident in himself, the transition is definitely there, at least in regards to Frey. It’s just not quite as spelled out in events. Even in his proposal, he’s still self-deprecating, but it’s a far cry from the absolute list of faults he gave initially asking her out. Not to mention, it absolutely takes a whole lot of courage to one, choose love over your life’s dream, and two, to do it in the incredibly dramatic and utterly obliterating manner that he did. The relationship also changes some post-marriage. Post-marriage Vishnal is a much different beast than pre-marriage Vishnal. As we’ve discussed, in the dating phase, he’s a lot less sure of how boyfriend things work, and resorts to asking others for advice and outright studying. Now that he’s married, he’s less reliant on others and is much more forward. He actually tends to be the one to initiate romantic gestures, from goodnight kisses to using his own sappy lines as opposed to borrowing them from Leon, among other things. Truly a far cry from the days where he would agonize over whether or not to even hold Frey’s hand. Sadly, while date dialogue doesn’t really change (with the exception of the room date, where he literally states he’s past being shy and awkward), there’s definitely a more visible shift in the focus of his other dialogue from being even good enough for Frey to being more protective. Jury’s still out on how much this development has affected his work performance, as there’s no real new mentions of it after the fact (though after marriage he is finally capable of making edible curry rice…sometimes!), but at least some degree of his self-esteem is improving.

So basically, to summarize, Vishnal isn’t a bad character. He’s just handled differently than the other bachelors. He’s a bit more grounded in reality as far as his backstory and conflicts are concerned. His development also tends to happen outside of his events rather than being the feature, making it a bit more subtle, and thus a bit harder to spot from a glance, but it’s there. For as much fun as he is as a character, I admit he’s definitely very tame compared to the other bachelor options, even despite the localizers’ attempts to make him spicier, so he’s not for everyone. I can see why others might prefer someone a little more exciting or mysterious, like Leon (who seems to be like, god tier as far as RF4 bachelors go), but I hope I’ve at least adequately explained why Vishnal might be appealing to some and has more merit than just a joke character. After all, vanilla is a flavor too, and plenty of people like that.

Anyhoo, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#kateh rambles #i know readmores don't usually work on mobile so like RIP to your dash i guess #long post #kateh's rf4 tag

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seeselfblack · 5 years

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Remembering Harry T. Moore...

On Christmas night 1951, a bomb exploded under the Mims home of educator and civil rights activist Harry T. Moore. The blast was so loud it could be heard several miles away in Titusville.

Moore died while being transported to Sanford, the closest place where a black man could be hospitalized. His wife Harriette died nine days later from injuries sustained in the blast.

The couple celebrated their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary on the day of the explosion, and Harriette lived just long enough to see her husband buried. The Moore’s daughter, Juanita Evangeline Moore, was working in Washington, D.C. in 1951, and was scheduled to come home for the holidays on December 27th, aboard a train called the Silver Meteor. She did not hear the news about her family home being bombed until she arrived.

“When I got off the train in Titusville, I knew something was very, very wrong,” Moore said in an interview before her death in October 2015. “I had not turned on radio or television, so I didn’t know a thing about it until I got off the train. I noticed that my mother and father were not in front of all my relatives to greet me and they were always there.”

Moore was given the news by her Uncle George, who was home on leave from Korea.

“We got into his car and got settled, and the first thing I asked was ‘Well, where’s Mom and Dad?’ No one said anything for a while, it was complete silence. Finally, Uncle George turned around and he said ‘Well, Van, I guess I’m the one who has to tell you. Your house was bombed Christmas night. Your Dad is dead and your Mother is in the hospital.’ That’s the way I found out,” said Moore.

“I’ve never gotten over it. It was unbelievable.” Moore insisted on being taken to her parent’s home. The blast had done extensive damage. She saw a huge hole in the floor of her parent’s room, into which their broken bed had collapsed. Wooden beams had fallen from the ceiling. Shards of broken glass covered the bed in the room she shared with her sister, Peaches.

Harry T. Moore was born November 18, 1905, in Houston, Florida, located in Suwannee County. At age 19, Moore graduated with a high school diploma from Florida Memorial College where he was a straight-A student, except for a B+ in French. Other students called him “Doc” because he did so well in all of his classes.

Moore moved to Mims in 1925 after being offered a job to teach fourth grade at the “colored school” in Cocoa. He met Harriette Vida Sims. They married and had two daughters. Moore, his wife, and both of their daughters graduated from Bethune-Cookman College in Daytona.

As a ninth grade teacher and principal at Titusville Negro School, Moore instilled in his students a sense of pride and a solid work ethic. A popular and skilled educator, Moore was fired for attempting to equalize pay for African American teachers in Brevard County.

Moore led a highly successful effort to expand black voter registration throughout the state, dramatically increased membership in the Florida branch of the NAACP, worked for equal justice for African Americans, and actively sought punishment for those who committed crimes against them.

“I do remember a lot of NAACP work with my Dad from the time I was able to understand what was going on,” said Juanita Evangeline Moore. “I helped him a lot with his mailing lists. We had a one-hand operated ditto machine. He usually typed out the stencil and he ran off whatever material he wanted to send out.” Although the murders of Harry T. and Harriette V. Moore have never been solved, it is believed that members of the Ku Klux Klan from Apopka and Orlando planted the bomb on Christmas night.

Moore and his wife were killed 12 years before Medgar Evers, 14 years before Malcolm X, and 17 years before Martin Luther King, Jr., making them the first martyrs of the contemporary civil rights movement.

The Moore Cultural Complex in Mims features a civil rights museum and a replica of the Moore family home.

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ais-n · 6 years

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Hi Ais! Sorry to bother you. I just need someone to talk to about this. I have been writing since i was like 15. My dream have always been to write a book. And i have started a lot of them but never finished anything. It’s like i get stuck at one point and feel my story is trash so i stop. Sometimes i find my plot boring and stupid and other times it’s my own inability to properly put it into words. I admire you and i wish i could write like you. I hope you never stop writing wonderful stories❤️

You’re so sweet, thank you!

I’m not sure if it would help to get a long ass rambling answer to this to encourage you to keep going based on my personal experience… but just in case it would, here goes:

It’s really hard to actually finish projects… starting them is so much easier. I get to a point where I’m like, “This is trash!” and/or I grow bored, and then I kind of peter out. I also have this unfortunate aspect of my personality where I figure I’m pretty unimportant and invisible, therefore what I have to say or write isn’t that particularly necessary for others to see, therefore it’s not that big of a deal if I just never post anything I did because I’d just be cluttering up the space where actual good writers or actual interesting people would be speaking instead.

Sometimes I just want to write a story to see where it goes, and then once I get to a point I can figure out how it will probably end, and if no one else is reading it or interested in it, I’m kind of like, well I know how it ends so I guess there’s no real point in writing the rest of it out or posting it because that’s just extra work for no reason. It was a combination of that thought process, and the feeling of “this is trash! Start over!” that had me writing and rewriting and dropping and restarting and editing and dropping and rewriting Incarnations since I was 12-14… I keep forgetting if I started at 12, 13, or 14 on that book. I think 14? But then maybe it was actually 13? idek.

Point being, that was a book that I started, stopped, started, stopped, dropped entirely, on and off for years. The idea would be really strong in my head but then sometimes I’d forget about it for years, then remember it for a while, then avoid it because I felt like a failure. What I know is when I first wrote it, I got 150 pages before I thought it was trash and totally stopped it. In the ensuing 15ish years, I would think of that world and want to do something in it but I just did not want to pick up where I had left off. So what I did was I kept starting new scenes, creating new characters, adding new aspects to the world, and each time I’d get a little ways into it and then go UGH THIS IS BORING or THIS IS TRASH and stop/drop it again, until the next time when I started something new again.

Around 2012, for Nanowrimo I tried starting it up again. I looked at the bits and pieces I’d written over the years, grabbed one of the scenes that seemed more interesting, started with that and ran with it. I met the requirements for nano, I liked the characters, I liked the new concept, but I still wasn’t sold on the book. I was kind of bored at the end of it because I didn’t fully know where I wanted to go with it… I was a little overwhelmed. It still didn’t really click with me to keep working on it again. I left it on the backburner for more years.

At one point, I created a Scrivener project for it, and then as the years passed and I’d get a brief idea for something, I’d go open it up and throw that info into a note, or add a new document exploring the idea, or whatever. Sometimes I’d write another short scene, other times I’d just do that and go.

Sometimes I tried to do other stuff related to it which was not writing the actual book… like I created some Sims to look like the characters, to see if I wanted to change anything in the description when I got an idea of it visually. Far more recently, I started making some of the key buildings in Sims so I could get inspired for more details on those. Are they accurate? Absolutely not. But they gave me ideas. Same as I tried to store the inspiration I’d get when watching tv shows or movies or whatever, and it would make me think of the characters or world or some other aspect. If I was inspired to write, I’d go write a note or scene right then, but if it was just a vague inspiration I would just try to focus on it when it was there, and really acknowledge the importance of feeling that inspiration, but then not actually do anything about it. But that would keep it in my mind.

Another thing I did when I really wanted to write was I would go to sleep thinking about an aspect of the story, to try to make myself dream something related, so I would wake up with inspiration.

I also tried to inspire myself by buying some physical organization materials – I got a bunch of whiteboards so I could figure things out by writing it out, and I got a huge roll of white butcher paper so I could hand draw massive timelines for the characters to lay out their events and see whose overlapped with whose; I got a corkboard and pinned index cards and sticky notes to it and then took different colored strings and connected them across the board according to various criteria. I got notebooks and wrote out ideas and notes on the magic system and all sorts of things. I had gotten to a point where I was glad to have all the digital information but sometimes I needed something physical to work on, something tangible, so I felt like I actually had accomplished something and it wasn’t just in my head. I also made a book cover for the book (digitally) to remind myself to keep working on it, and made a digital map of the world with the help of a friend who’s good with geology so I had a reference I could hang about my computer.

Every time I had a thought or idea, or I had this vague restlessness of wanting to work on something but not feeling like actually writing, I tried to do something else related to it in some form. Usually world building or character creation of some sort, but sometimes just thinking about things.

I tried a lot of things, but in all honesty I figured I would never, ever finish that story. But then one day, and I don’t even remember what the catalyst was to be honest, it just… clicked. I had an idea for something, and when I went to write down that idea or do whatever with it, I remembered other notes I’d left over the years, other scenes, and I started looking at the massive amount of information I had compiled - and I realized, holy shit, I know how to connect this all. I found a way to pull together a lot of stories I’d made which I thought were all totally disconnected, and bring them into one theme. And when I did that, all these questions I had for this or that aspect of this or that, suddenly had really interesting answers or ideas I could roll with.

I found a way to stop being bored. And now, when I find that I just really really don’t want to do the next thing, I try a few times to make myself do it if I’m just feeling like I’m being lazy, but if repeated attempts are unsuccessful then I throw myself a curveball in the story or plot or characters, and it becomes fun again to write and plot it out as I try to figure out how to integrate that. I do that until I run out of steam, and try the same things again.

Because of that, a couple of years ago, I finished the book, and I was really happy with it. I’m still proud of myself for finishing writing it, but now I’m on a two year slump of editing the damn thing.

When I think back to the original story I wrote when I was younger, versus the book it became now and the series it’s starting, they are VERY different despite the fact that have the same initial basis. In fact, the original heroine of the book is now technically sort of a villain. Her story is the same; I just flipped the perspective. The original book was very base; I mean, at the time, I felt it would be interesting to write because it was a young woman as the main character with all the power, at a time when almost all the main characters I found to read were young men.

But the thing is, it was otherwise a super basic concept. Young woman suddenly finds out she’s the chosen one, lots of cool magic, she goes through her whole storyline with how things affect the world around her, the end. The story might have worked and been interesting solely because I was like 14 when I wrote it; if it had been published then, people might have given me a bit of slack for some of the laziness just because I was young. But the story I have now, informed by decades of life and experience since then, is SO fucking much better than that book was originally. It’s way more complex, far more interesting, the worldbuilding is far beyond what I had before, the characters are more nuanced, the cast is more diverse, the prejudices are more tailored. I’m GLAD I put that book aside a million times. I’m GLAD I didn’t finish it any of the times I had it in my head I had to finish it by the time I was xyz age. I feel like the series it is now is going to be far beyond what it would have been if I’d run with the original idea.

You know what helped me A LOT in actually finishing it in the end? Aside from everything I said?

I asked some friends to beta read it for me. And the people who read it really liked it, and gave me ideas on how to improve it. Their interest renewed my own interest and gave me enthusiasm I sometimes lacked on my own. I care a hell of a lot more about actually finishing something if someone else cares if I finish it.

Someone once asked Neil Gaiman how to be a good writer and get published, and one of his biggest recommendations was to just finish writing a book. He also said not to conform; to write the story that you want to write, that is right for you. I feel the same way, which is nice because Neil Gaiman is super dope so I feel better that my feeling is reflected in an actual successful and great writer. I feel a little safer in having my weird ass view on things, which is that I don’t believe in genres, really, or rather I don’t really believe in writing a story specifically for the boxes checked off for a specific genre.

For me, anyway. It’s totally fine for others, if that’s their jam - there can be some great stories that way!

But for me, I literally just do not want to write a story at all if I have to make it fit someone else’s label. I lose all interest in it and give up completely. I think that’s probably because when I started writing, it was because I was a nerdy ass youngster who couldn’t find books that felt like they represented me exactly or what exactly I wanted to read, so I was kind of just like, “I guess I’ll write it, then.” There are tons of books out there that do fit the criteria of the genres, and they can be SUCH fun and good books to read… the people who write those books excel at that type of writing, and so if they tried doing anything else they would not be true to themselves.

We need those writers and we need those books. But we also need the writers and the books that just say fuck it to everything and do what they want. You may not be as popular, or you may find it difficult to go the traditional route; maybe you can’t become a full-time writer, if everything is stacked against you, I don’t know. But you can write what feels right for you, and there will always be readers out there who needed that book to feel right for them.

My hope for you is you don’t silence yourself and your stories like I tend to do. I hope you finish your books/stories, and I hope you share them. There is probably someone out there wishing your book existed, and until you write it, they won’t have that exact perspective and that exact story to read. Don’t get discouraged if it takes you a long time; and don’t downplay the value of walking away and not thinking about it for a while at a time. But I do think there’s definite value in always coming back.

So what I hope you do for yourself is find some easy way to compile all the different information you’ve formed for your book(s) over the years so that you make it really easy on yourself to add extra bits and pieces as you go. I hope that you do other things that aren’t specifically writing but still get your creativity going for the stories - whether that’s making Sims, drawing art, writing things out on paper or whiteboards, doing everything digitally, doing everything physically, whatever it may be. I hope you find ideally a few someones to read what you have so far, get their take on it, and I hope they are enthusiastic enough to help you keep it in the forefront of your mind.

I TOTALLY understand having wanted to be a writer since you were young… I have always wanted to be a writer, as far back as I can remember. (Of course, if you go back far enough, I also wanted to be a veterinarian or other things too).

My goal is still to someday be an actual author. I feel like I’m not, still, but maybe someday I will be.

I used to put a ton of pressure on myself to finish things by certain ages, and when I missed my goal I got depressed and thought I was the worst and why bother, no one wants to read it anyway, and etc etc etc. Also, for like 10 of those years I was working on ICoS and that really took my mental energy and creative interest as a focus so I didn’t really even want to work on my LGBTQIA+ fantasy books for a while. But as time passed, and objectively looking at the story I have now compared to the story it was before, I think it was far better that I didn’t force the story before I was ready to write it, but also that I didn’t let myself just put it off forever and never make myself work on it again.

There is no age limit to being a writer… first of all, you’re a writer if you write, so if you already wrote a bunch of books or parts of any stories - you are already a writer. You’ve already accomplished something awesome! But if your goal is to be a paid author/writer, then whether you are one now or one in 20 years or even 70, you still can be a writer. You still can fulfill that dream. Never give up on it, for yourself and for the diversity and complexity of the stories out there in the world, and for the readers who would want to see what you have to say.

Nanowrimo is next month… maybe you could start thinking about the stories you’ve worked on so far, see if any strike your fancy for exploring a bit further, or just take the general concept of one of the worlds and create a totally new set of characters and plotline on that world. Whether or not you end up liking that new plot, the new characters, it will still give you a more nuanced view of the world itself. It might spark an idea now or 20 years from now. It might, someday, be the key to finishing the story.

Don’t devalue the importance of those little bits and pieces, or the importance of taking your time but never giving up, or of even just talking the story out to others and seeing what they have to say. I constantly think what I write is boring and stupid, I constantly get suddenly bored with something and just cannot for the life of me write the next chapter no matter what because it sucks ass.

So I switch it up. I push aside for a moment what I thought I had to do next, and then I ask myself, “What can I add that would make me actually want to write this?” I’ve found that by doing that, you can get some super interesting new ideas that coordinate together out of nowhere later if you just keep going.

So maybe for nano, you can ask yourself, “What would I want to write in this world or this character’s life, etc, that would make me actually want to write it?” Completely forget about it fitting perfectly with what you have. Screw that. Just make it fun for you. I feel like it’s a very natural writer thing to do where even if you start with something that seems extremely disparate, as long as they’re following the same general world rules, eventually you’ll have an epiphany that ties it all together.

Also ask yourself, are you trying to make the characters conform to the plot, or letting the plot conform to the characters? If your world or characters want to veer totally off from what was planned, as long as it’s in character - follow them, not your plans. You wrote those plans when you had a limited understanding of the characters and world… the time you spent with them since then is valuable and shouldn’t be ignored. If they want to send you on a wild goose chase into the middle of nowhere when they’re supposed to be doing something else entirely, do it. Follow that goose. See where it leads you, and then see how fun it is trying to make your way back.

Maybe you can try that this nano (or just do a totally new story altogether if that’s your jam instead), and see where it takes you. Maybe you can find some people to read it, and maybe you can track all the info you put together, no matter how small and stupid it may seem. And maybe, someday, you’ll be able to look back years later like me, and thank your past self for never giving up and for keeping that information accessible so that one day, far down the line, you’d have everything you needed at your fingertips when a sudden idea inspires you to look at your story, characters, or world, from an angle you’d never considered before.

Also, fwiw, I like to always throw one thing in that’s a bit unexpected, if possible, into characters or plots. In all honesty, I do that in part because I get bored affffff very easily so I want to keep myself entertained. But it also makes for a lot more interest, I think, in the characters. Like, whatever the plot is, or the character is, think about what would be the easy next thing… think about what the stereotype of that would be. And then deliberately choose something either completely different or a little bit off in order to introduce intrigue.

ICoS, for example - Boyd was judged a lot for many things, and he wasn’t really good around people naturally. It would have been easy to say that because he was kind of socially distant/awkward he would suck at undercover, but to me that wasn’t interesting. Instead, he could go undercover and be very good at it when needed because, despite his natural reticence to trust others, he had spent his life watching other people trying to learn their behavior/mimic them to understand why people didn’t like him. So even though on his own he would hate going into a party or have no fucking clue what to say, if he was playing a character, he was very good at it because he had gathered that information for years. Instead of saying that because he was bullied he didn’t know how to deal with people, I said he knew how to deal with people because he was bullied.

Incarnations, for example - Vikenti is a magical cop who’s really grouchy, kind of rude, kind of a dick. He spends most of his time seemingly insulting everyone around him. It would have been easy to just make him be a dick cop who grumps on everyone and does nothing beyond the job. And yet, he’s taken under his wing a young woman who others see as a monster. A young woman who everyone who knows the story of their background would think he would have every reason to hate. And you also see him helping this random girl get a memento even though he easily could have ignored it because, ultimately, she had nothing to do with him. There’s also an Empath who’s a pretty good dude who has the biggest crush on him even though their sexual orientations don’t line up. Everyone wonders how this Empath can even like him when he’s such an asshole, but then you have to ask yourself, wouldn’t an Empath of all people know best who to trust and who not? There are scenes with Vikenti, who seems like a super straight and straight-laced dude who doesn’t know how to explore emotions beyond insulting people, where he is the one there who catches someone when they fall, or says just the right thing when it’s needed. Because he’s an asshole, but not an asshole. He cares but just doesn’t care.

So, if you’re bored with parts of your stories or characters, I also really encourage throwing dichotomy and contradictions in there. Take something solid on the story, and then think of something that seems to be at odds with that, and make that be a solid part of it too. Now you have something interesting to explore… how someone or something can be these two seemingly contradictory things in the same form. I find that can help me stay interested, too.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough and am probably not very helpful, I’m sorry :( I just wanted you to know I totally know what you mean, and precisely because of that, I know without a doubt you can do this. You will finish the story or stories you need to finish. I 100% believe in you, and I hope you can get to a point where you 100% believe in yourself too.

Happy writing, my friend! You are going to finish your stories and they’re going to be fantastic! And if they aren’t fantastic the first draft, that’s the way it is for pretty much everyone - all you have to do is keep working on them until they are. You will absolutely get there, because it’s a journey you already started long ago. You’ve come this far and there’s a lot more waiting for you as you go forward. My writing voice is no better or worse than anyone else’s, it’s just what feels right for me. Your writing voice is yours and therefore inherently lovely. Which means, if you wish you could write like me, you absolutely can: by writing like yourself. I bet you already are, you just can’t see it because of how stressful it can be in the middle of the millionth project feeling like you got nowhere previously. But if you keep going, keep pushing, I know you won’t regret it later, and I know the story you end up finishing will be exactly the story you needed to write at that time, and somewhere out there in this world, someone will be incredibly grateful to you for having written and shared it.

(Oh btw the thing I was talking about is Incarnations - and the first 4 chapters are out free here if you want context on the stuff I mentioned, in case somehow it helps? I really need to edit it… I keep putting it off, but your message is making me want to start it up again, so thank you!

#ask ais #writing #incarnations #wildwood rising #I talk a little about icos but feel like I shouldn't tag that?#idk #anyway the tl;dr on this is you can totally do it!#i believe in you! :D #Anonymous

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beanplague-moved · 6 years

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absolute social detriment

i wrote some mindless cute fic to make up for a bad day. monster prom is embarrassingly taking up a lot of my headspace at the moment.

writing commissions | art commissions | ao3 | donations.

Brian does a bit of art in his free time. Nothing spectacular—his art style needs some work, and he always fucks up the eyes—but you know, it’s something. Mostly just sketches to pass the time in class, when he actually bothers to go.

Currently, he’s doing his best to replicate this one image that’s been present in his mind for the last couple hours. He’s actually pretty good at this—translating ideas onto paper, that is. He’s got a good grasp on anatomy, though he does wish he could make it a little more stylistic. His poses feel too stiff sometimes.

Polly says, “Is that Damien?” and Brian closes his sketchbook immediately.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” says Brian, his tone deadpan. Polly is floating beside him, peering over his shoulder. “You can leave now. We’re in class.” This is a bullshit deflection, mainly because their teacher could not give less of a shit what they were doing. Polly glances at the now-closed sketchbook.

“He’s your boyfriend, you know. You don’t have to pretend not to like him or whatever,” she says. Brian blinks.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t draw. Go away,” he says. Polly’s eyebrows arch, and then she smiles.

“I’ll have you know that once a club announced it was at capacity and I physically possessed a bouncer in order to get in, and spent the whole night body hopping,” she says, “Closing things off only makes me more determined, Brian,” and then she leaves, floating back to her seat.

Brian puts his sketchbook in his backpack and makes a mental note to avoid drawing in class.

Brian goes to gym and tells the coach that he’s dead (which is true) and sits out the dodgeball round for the day. He instead spends the time drawing his boyfriend playing dodgeball and gaining creativity stats.

Liam, who has also used his undead state as an excuse not to play dodgeball, leans over to see Brian’s sketchbook. “You’ve drawn him to be a lot more aesthetically pleasing than I would have,” says Liam, glancing between the sketchbook page and the real-life reference, who is baring his teeth and threatening to punch his own team members in the face. “I didn’t know that you draw.”

Brian closes his sketchbook, “I don’t and never have,” he blatantly lies, trying his best to cut away from the conversation. Liam doesn’t get the hint.

“Ah, I see,” says Liam, “This is an attempt to remain cool and collected in the eyes of a social superior. Well, there’s no need, Brian. Social hierarchies are far too cliche, anyway.”

Brian says, “I honestly don’t understand any word that has ever come out of your mouth,” because it’s the truth, and he’s a very honest person. Liam nods.

“A very convincing persona. I’ll give you points for dedication, at least,” he says, and it’s at this point that Brian kind of just tunes him out and watches the game. At one point he almost reopens his sketchbook, but in the corner of his eyes he sees Liam glancing at it and he stops himself.

It’s not even that he’s embarrassed of the art or anything—or, well, he is. It’s objectively embarrassing. Brian, who is known for not caring, spends his time doodling his boyfriend in candid poses? That’s absolute social detriment right there. He doesn’t even know how he would prepare for such a scenario wherein someone noticed. What if someone pointed out how careful the linework was? What if someone called him cute? What if Damien saw? There are just too many variables.

And yeah, technically Brian is dating Damien already, and it isn’t particularly weird for him to idealize his boyfriend or draw him, but come on. A man is entitled to his particular complex, all right? Not every irrational argument or insecurity needs to be scrutinized for how much sense it makes.

Brian leaves gym class having lost several points contributing to his boldness stat. That’s just how it is sometimes.

At lunch Brian enjoys the very reliable practice of not eating anything (in this cafeteria? You’d be better off eating out of the garbage, which is legitimately what some students have been doing. It’s absolutely hilarious and also very indicative of the school’s quality of life) and finally finishing his damn drawing without a dating sim character breathing down his neck.

“Is that Damien?” asks Miranda, and does she have to be so loud? Well practiced in this particular method of avoidance, Brian shuts his sketchbook immediately. “That’s so romantic!”

Oh God. “Miranda, I will pay you at least two money to leave—” he’s cut off before he can finish his offer and/or threat of bribery.

“You saw them, right? The drawings?” asks Polly, who actually might be the devil. It’s a distinct possibility. She hangs out with Damien an awful lot for someone who isn’t the devil. Of course, you could say the same for Brian or literally anyone else in their circle of friends, but still. “I think it’s adorable!”

This. This is the nightmare scenario. Holy shit.

Brian is in the middle of considering his plan of action, and he narrows it down to two distinct choices. Either he can toss his own sketchbook into the garbage at such an angle where it constitutes as a rather impressive slam dunk and thus has a distinct chance of impressing his peers, or he can get up and leave and continue his drawing in the bathroom.

He isn’t so keen on the possibility of losing his sketchbook, and his boldness stat isn’t particularly high. He ends up taking the second option, wordlessly walking out of the situation like the corpse he is. He really is living up to his undead heritage.

Brian is almost done with his drawing, which is actually pretty impressive, considering he’s illustrating this in a bathroom. It’s a horrid environment for art. It smells weird and he’s pretty sure Polly does drugs in here, but you take what you can get.

Damien says, “You fuckin’ draw?” and Brian is considering that, perhaps, he has angered some minor god. It happens all the time, and it would certainly check out if he had. “What are you doing in the bathroom, dude? There’s another recess rave so I figured we could set something or someone on fire over there, if you’re up for it.”

Brian is kind of wordless at the moment, because all of his nightmare scenarios are playing in his head at once, and truly he is trying not to rehearse his own detriment in his head.

He says, “Oh, uh, yeah. Arson and manslaughter sound great about now,” and he attempts to close his sketchbook. He sees Damien narrow his eyes.

“Can I see what you were drawing?”

Hm. No. “Well, you see,” says Brian, “I would normally show you my sketchbook right now, but I’m about to throw it in the garbage, and—”

“No, really, I’m actually curious,” says Damien, with as much sincerity as he can possibly produce, “I like to see stuff you’re into, you know?” Oh, Brian is definitely into the things in his sketchbook, which is about 70% Damien. Brian hesitates.

“Sure,” he decides, handing the sketchbook over to Damien. He’s had a good, long, reanimated life. Brian has already dealt with a physical death, what’s a social one to boot?

He watches as Damien opens the sketchbook and pages through it, realization passing over him as relatively innocuous drawings of trees and tables and shit gradually become portraits of his own face. It’s a true facial journey, which eventually settles on an expression that could be Damien blushing if he wasn’t already a solid red demon who’s blush was indistinguishable from his actual hue.

Damien is about to push the brink of his charm stat and create some bullshit excuse, “You see—”

“So, like,” Damien pauses, “Do you ever do, fuck, I dunno, self portraits, or, uh. You know, drawings of us together or something?” and it’s a very genuinely sweet moment that Brian is having in this dumpster fire of a school bathroom.

“Uh, yeah, if you flip it to the next page,” Brian says, and they have a very nice, very cute conversation that they will describe as “kickass” and “definitely not cute” to close associates. Damien asks Brian to draw him taller, which is a valid comment, but Damien already gets to be tall in real life so no.

#monster prom #brian (monster prom)#damien lavey #my writes

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96percentdone · 6 years

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Hey hey, out of curiosity, how do you feel about Kaede's FTEs and her love hotel scene (And I guess Saim//atsu in general?)? I'm not sure if it's just me but it felt... incredibly forced, like Kodaka was intentionally setting Kaede to be the generic romantic interest for the hero™.

Alright, I’m going to put this under a read more because this is going to be me being very salty and hateful so uh y’all were warned. I have nothing nice to say from this point going forth. If you like sai//matsu, and have no interest in being critical of the things you like (or being pissed at me), do not read this. This is your only warning.

God Sai//matsu is the absolute worst. It is the ONLY Saihara ship that makes me fucking pissed off on sight, and it’s entirely for reasons you have stated and more. Sai//matsu exists because Kodaka is a sexist mother fucker who didn’t want to write Akamatsu as her own character versus a cute device for Saihara’s manpain//a waifu for the lonely otaku fuckboys playing the game. Akamatsu is the victim of the fucking worst writing I have ever seen, and it’s genuinely insulting.

For all the bad writing for Akamatsu, while you actually play as her, she’s a pretty interesting character. She’s different from the protagonists before her, in that she’s confident and a leader, with a take-charge attitude, desperately needed in this situation. Furthermore, you can see signs of her not actually handling stress well, and being a surprisingly paranoid character for someone who’s so trust-oriented. It makes her pretty complex, and believable as a protagonist.

Unfortunately, this is all a fucking ruse on Kodaka’s part. Because it all goes to shit for her right here:

This god damn scene. Now, when you first play it, you might think to yourself “ah, here’s the start of the heterosexual romance of the game.” Maybe you’re exasperated, maybe you think it has interesting potential, but the first time through it’s pretty harmless. Unfortunately, once you look back on it with the knowledge of what they do with Akamatsu, you realize just how fucking shitty it is.

In this scene you have Akamatsu reassuring Saihara with his insecurities, and she tells him she understands and feels similarly. Right now she’s scared, with Saihara she feels the confidence she needs to do what she has to do, which it turns out is trying to murder the mastermind. This as a scene works strongly if this was the start of a future romance.

Except, Akamatsu is later killed and her status as the protagonist is replaced by Saihara. Saihara is the new protagonist, and he has to reveal her as the culprit and get her killed, much as he doesn’t want to. It becomes apparent that this scene existed not to show the start of a relationship between two characters that develop throughout the game, but it existed as a moment for Saihara to become ridiculously attached to her, so when they kill her, he can develop. It (and scenes like the elevator scene after it) exist to just make Saihara get attached so he can suffer.

This scene is the start of every problem with Akamatsu’s writing and treatment from here on out. The reason Akamatsu ends up so badly written is because her characterization is sacrificed for Saihara’s. The only thing Akamatsu as a character accomplishes before she dies, is she inspires and motivates Saihara with a couple of speeches that were solely for him. She does this and dies, and this is what kickstarts Saihara’s character arc as a protagonist.

And unfortunately for Akamatsu, it doesn’t end here. Because not only did she only exist for Saihara’s pain, but even after she dies she’s not treated with any kind of respect. Once she’s dead, no one even acknowledges she (to their knowledge) killed someone. They all only ever talk about her wish. It’s as if she never did anything wrong. And the icing on the cake is the big reveal in ch6 where it turns out no! She didn’t even do the murder! Shirogane did! And in the ch6 trial, no one really acknowledges she attempted murder on someone’s life; it’s entirely about how Shirogane framed her. The game goes out of its way to paint Akamatsu, once she’s dead, as completely innocent, even though she’s not.

This serves two purposes, and they’re tied into each other. The first is to further Saihara’s manpain. Revealing that she didn’t even do it when Saihara falsely convicted her would just make him suffer. Once again she only exists for Saihara’s character development. And the other reason is so she’s perfect waifu material like Nanami. If she never did anything wrong as the game wants you to believe, then she can be your super cute gf.

And that’s exactly what her free time events and love hotel are for. Akamatsu’s free time events are the worst fucking things I have ever seen. In her events, we learn nothing about her except in event one. The ONE job of free time events is for you to learn more about the character you spend time with, and excluding free time event 1, we learn jack shit about her. Aside from the first event, which is the only good one, we basically just go on dates with her.

The duet shit that starts in the second one is super egregious. Why is this what they’re doing? Is it to further her character? No! It’s to have a scene where she holds Saihara’s hand so he gets all flustered and embarrassed about it. That is the ENTIRE reason why it exists. You learn NOTHING about her at all.

The third event would be alright if at the end it wasn’t suddenly “Oh no you made me blurt out my secret I’m all embarrassed!” which is bullshit. First of all Akamatsu in the game was pretty confident and not shy about talking about how she feels and what her dreams were, and now she’s doing this? Yeah sounds fake. No the real reason this exists is the set up for event four.

And event four is probably the worst because event four it becomes abundantly clear that they don’t even care about Saihara either in these. In event four, Akamatsu arbitrarily turns the tables on Saihara about himself! Convenient excuse so we don’t learn anything about her, huh? Also conveniently lets you force sai//matsu. But it’s really bad because you get choices TWICE where you literally choose Saihara’s answers to her questions. So it’s not even Saihara we’re instead learning about, it’s you.

This is the event that perfectly illustrates exactly what these free time events, no all of sai//matsu is for: it’s for lonely otakus to pretend a cute girl is into them. Cute girl reassures you! Cute girl asks you a bunch of questions about yourself! Cute girl holds your hands! The reason we don’t learn much of anything about her is because she’s just meant to be a cute girl for the lonely straight male players. In these free time events, not even Saihara gets to exist as himself; he is merely a vehicle for the player to be with cute girl Akamatsu.

And the final event is just the icing on the cake of this rushed romance. Because these free time events aren’t truly free time events. They’re a five scene dating sim with a cute girl, and event five is just the final moment where you truly bond and “become one.” Akamatsu has her practical confession, and it’s just…it’s terrible. These free time events are terrible.

And the love hotel? Is just more of that. Because of how the love hotel works, Saihara has to play the ideal partner for Akamatsu, which for her is conveniently a long-term relationship. Sai//matsu shippers might think it’s proof she’s really into him, but it’s not. Because just like in the free time events, Saihara isn’t himself he’s just the faceless dating sim protagonist for the lonely otakus to project on. In everything outside of the main game, Saihara’s interactions with Akamatsu crush his characterization into something blank slate and generic, and it’s for the lonely fuckboys to be able to easily project themselves on him. This love hotel just fulfills their fantasy of really dating the cute anime girl and being able to sleep with her.

So sai//matsu exists in the main game solely for Saihara’s manpain development, and in the bonus modes solely to give the lonely otaku fuckboys another waifu. Akamatsu’s characterization does not matter, as Akamatsu herself doesn’t matter, and to an extent, Saihara doesn’t even matter either. It’s just a shitty ship based in sexist nonsense and pandering. It’s bad. That’s all there is to it.

#hope.txt #it didn't even have to be this way either #like it could have been fine if they didn't kill Akamatsu and developed the relationship #or if the ftes weren't fucking like that #or the love hotel #but it's not #dangan ronpa #ndrv3 #my meta #shsl-soutou

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supersimmer2018 · 3 years

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The Runaways Episode 13

*Important Note*

This Episode has a lot of Adult topics and Mature themes. This is the Uncut extended version of Episode 13. The PG family friendly one is located on my Sims Amino account, I will leave the link down below. This post is for ages 18 and older. Strong language is used in this story, and also talks about mental health. Read at your own risk.

Episodes 1-12 Click the link to find them!

http://aminoapps.com/p/qsf26r

~~~~~2 Years Later~~~~~ Time... Time is the only thing that goes on, it never stops counting down the seconds, minuets, and hours. It was time that Dustin had lost with Angela. After the events that had taken place that lead him to attempt to take his own life, Dustin was put into a mental institute against his free will. It was better for him that he was put into the institute. His mom didn't know any other way to help him, she had to think of the challenges that would occur trying to take care of Beau and the new edition to the family. She couldn't manage making sure that Dustin didn't try something like that again. Angela was against Dustin being locked away, even if it was for his own good and well being. She was pregnant and would have to go through raising a baby all on her own without Dustin. And that was something that she didn't want. As hard as she fought for Dustin, Brandi's mind was already heart set on making sure that her son was safe and taken care of.

Well that's what Brandi had thought, but hidden within the walls of the institute was a horror that no one knew about. The very doctor's that were supposed to be helping those that were being cared for were doing the exact opposite. Most of the time the patients never were fed at all, or they were miss treated or worse. There was no use in looking for help because help wasn't going to come. The entire staff made sure of that. Dustin was able to make at least one friend, but making at least one friend wasn't enough to stop the abuse that was going on both mentally and... sexually. Dustin wouldn't allow it to happen to him, but it was hard to fight someone off when you hadn't eaten in days. So having the strength to fight someone off was hard to do. At least there were days when he was able to avoid that kind of stuff. Most days Dustin would just lay there on the stone cold floor, thinking to himself. More often then he liked to admit the voice inside his head would find it's way back every now and then and talk to him.

Voice: Still alive I see.. Dustin: I'm in no mood to talk to you. Voice: You look like you could use some company. Come on, its me you're best friend. Dustin: You tried talking me into killing myself, some friend you are. Dustin knew that no one would hear him talking out loud in response to the voice inside his head talking to him. It became a normal thing and Dustin didn't really seem to think it as odd to reply out loud to the voice from inside his head that was talking to him. Voice: I said that I was sorry... Come on can't we leave the past in the past? Dustin: What is it that you want now? I'd rather be left alone. Voice: You're planning something aren't you?

It was true, Dustin had been planning a way to escape this neverending hell. He had talked this plan over with his friend Bradley. Bradley had agreed that he would figure out a way to get a key card from one of the tending doctors. Though it was really risky asking Bradley to help him out with this. Mainly because Bradley wasn't level headed at times. There was an incident that involved a game of go fish. The other guy was cheating and that caused Bradley to snap and lead him to snap the other guys arm. Dustin: I'm not planning anything. So fuck off. Voice: I know you, so well in fact that I know you're up to something. Dustin: Damn it... Just get lost would ya? Voice: I can tell you if you're plan will work or if it will come back to bite you in the ass. At this point Dustin had stopped talking to the voice that was talking to him from inside his head. He didn't feel like going into detail about his plan. Besides telling it to a voice that wasn't even real, seemed pointless. Dustin: If things get out of hand... I'll have to fight or even kill to get out of here. Voice: Oh? Is that right? Tell me what are you're plans once you do get out of here? Angela has surely moved on by now, it has been two years now after all. Dustin sat up and bowed his head so that he was looking at the floor. He hadn't really thought about that. For the first time ever, the voice inside his head was probably right. What if Angela had moved on? Then escaping would all be for nothing if he couldn't be with her. "Damn it, I really fucked up two years ago." He said to himself in a low voice.

Dustin: If she did move on, then so will I. Voice: Are you sure? If you move on then what will you do? Aside from saying that he would just move on, he didn't know exactly what he meant by that. But getting out of here away from the mental and sexual abuse that was being done behind closed doors. He just wanted to be free of this place, even if that meant that he would have to start over again in both life and love. Dustin: I will just have to start over fresh. Start a whole new life somewhere, where no one knows me. Voice: Interesting, I wonder how long you'll last outside these walls before you try taking your own life again. Dustin: That's never going to happen again. I will make my life work outside these walls. The voice laughed as it started to fade away from his thoughts. Finally Dustin was alone with just him and his own thoughts without that annoying voice talking to him. "This plan has to work, I have to get out of here.." He said to himself. He could only hope that Bradley could pull it off and steal that card key.

~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~ The head doctor's that were in charge of the mental institute were hard at work, working on this new drug that could help those with an mental illness lead normal lives. But there was some disagreement on weather or not they should send it to the FDA to be approved. If thy did send it out to get approved that would mean that mental institute would be forced to shut its doors. Thus losing their jobs due to this cure. Though there were the risks of it not working and causing more problems than good. There was the possibility of getting cancer and other complications. Then again there was the other possibility that none of those complications would happen.

Frank: Although this newly developed drug isn't a sure thing there is still so many other factors to take into account. Babe: But from what your showing me, it seems like its working. Who's been the test subject so far? Frank: No one yet, this is just an example of how it should work. Babe looked at the image on the moving picture frame that was hanging on the wall. She didn't really understand what she was looking at. Babe: Can you explain it to me? Frank pulled up his notes and made sure that he had everything that he needed to explain this image to her. It was a complex thing to talk about, so he had to explain it in simple terms.

Frank: You see the four cells inside that big cell. Well that's not supposed to be like that. This new study if I'm right is showing us that these brain cell forming together is what causes mental illness. Babe: Impressive, although how can you be sure that what your looking at is correct? Frank: These are Dustin Broke's brain activity. And here are mine. See that my brain cells are not as cluttered as his. Babe: Well what is it that this new drug is going to do, exactly? He was pleased to see that she was taking all this in, he wasn't so sure that she would be this open minded with everything that he was showing and telling her. The board of directors was a whole other story, he hadn't had time to show them everything that he's been working on let alone what this drug could do. Before he could show his findings, he wanted to test it on someone. Someone like Dustin Broke. Frank: The drug will hopefully take out the extra cells leaving only the healthy ones. Think of them as a cancer and the drug shrinks the cancer cells throughout the whole body so that no tumors can form.

Babe: You actually seem to have found a once in a life time cure. That's why I wouldn't submit it to the board of directors. He looked at her puzzled. He could tell that she was up to something, he just wasn't so sure what that something was. Frank: Um, why? We can't keep this a secret. Even if we lose our jobs, we owe it to the mentaly ill to allow them to live normal healthy lives. Babe: Just hold off until you run a test. To see if this drug actually works. I know the perfect person to try this drug on. Frank: We can't do that with out getting the FDA involved. We could get face a lawsuit! Babe: I don't care about that, we need to test it before you show it off to the higher ups. Give the drug to Dustin Broke.

~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~

Bradley was already working on his plan to get a card key from one of the tending doctors. He knew exactly how he was going to get his hands on one, though he wasn’t at all happy with the idea of how he was going to get it. He was the one that one doctor always seemed to abuse more so than the others.

He made his way into the laundry room acting as if he was going to be washing his clothing, when in reality something much more morbid was going to be occurring. The door opened, Bradley turned and knew that it would be Dr. Shaw. “Right on time.” He said to himself. This was something that he didn’t like and he knew that this was going to be his only way at getting his hands on what he wanted.

James: Hey there Bradley, I’ve missed you while I was away.

Bradley: I wish that I could say the same. Just leave me alone.

He said trying to sound like he didn’t want to see him, when in reality he was just the person that he wanted to see.

James: Oh my, seems like you have a little fight in you. So tell me, what has my favorite patient been up to?

Bradley: Bite me.

That got Dr. Shaw to smile. This was just all one big game to him, playing mind games with Bradley. Trying to work his way over to him, trying to smooth talk him before he tried to seduce him like he always did.

Bradley knew in his heart that he didn’t like doing what Dr. Shaw wanted to do, but there was no other way that he was ever going to help Dustin in getting a key card that would help him escape. Dr. Shaw walked closer and closer to him, Bradley couldn’t help but start backing away from him.

From the first time that Bradley had stepped into this place when he was just 17, this was how it all started. Right here in this same room, he hadn’t seen it coming it all happened so fast.

James: My my, you’ve put on a little muscle since the last time I saw you.

Bradley: D-don’t come any closer. Find someone else to..

His words trailed off before he could finish what it was that he was going to say. He couldn’t really find it in himself to finish what he was about to say. Telling him to find someone else to pray on. No one deserved to be sexually abused, he hated himself for allowing it to happen to him.

Even thought it wasn’t his fault he still couldn’t help but blame himself for allowing this asshole to have that kind of power over him.

James: I could find someone else, however you’re my favorite person to talk too.

Bradley: Whatever you think is going to happen here, get off somewhere else and leave me alone..

Dr. Shaw stood there and smiled at Bradley, as if he liked it when he talked back to him. He turned around to face the door, seconds later there was this loud click.

It was at that moment that Bradley knew all too well what that sound was. The door had been locked like all the other times, so that no one would come in to stop what was about to happen. Fear washed over Bradley like a tidal wave. His stomach started to twist and turn. His heart started to be fast his breathing got heavy.

James: No we can be alone, with no interruptions.

Everything was going as he planned, only there was one part that he had planned himself. He knew that Dustin wouldn’t approve of what he was going to do so he kept that part hidden from him.

Dr. Shaw slowly walked behind Bradley and places his hands on his hips and pulled him closer to him. Bradley knew what was going to come next, as much as he hated it he knew that this was the only way to get what Dustin needed.

“You so owe me for this Dustin.” He said in his head.

~~~~~To Be Continued~~~~~

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