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alyakthedorklord · 1 year

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Chiroptophobia: the Fear of Bats.

Bruce Wayne is Scared of Bats. This is a Canon Fact.

In a difference from canon, Batman pretends to actually BE a bat man.

(Again, “Loading and Aspect Ratio” by JUBE514 situation with fake wings. Please go read it I love it so much.)

Bruce turns himself into a physical manifestation of his personal worst nightmares, and sets out to be a street cryptid. People see him flinching from bright lights and loud noises (he hasn’t slept in three days and he really hates guns) twitching weirdly (testing his wings function/stimming) not fully understanding human social niceties (you cannot tell me this man isn't Autistic) and, duh, wings, and go ah yes this being is Inhuman.

However, people KNOW Brucie Wayne™ is petrified of bats. There was an incident at a party when one flew through a window, another at a zoo, there was this one time Manbat showed up and he practically teleported away. No one saw him for a whole month, even after Batman had captured Manbat. (He got injured in the fight.)

By extension, this means that Bruce Wayne is afraid of Batman. Just- absolutely terrified of him. No ones seen them in the same place. Ever. Bruce Wayne actually publicly refuses to even believe in the cryptid for YEARS past when he's already been proven to exist.

When the Justice League gets called in to protect Bruce and his smattering of children from some plot (batman conspicuously absent, despite Gotham being his territory) Bruce straight up tells the league that he doesn’t believe in Batman, and he feels much safer with “real heroes” rather than “a urban legend spawned from overdramatic furries and gang wars.”

The justice league is, obviously, confused.

Certified little shits Dick, Jason, and Tim, (because we’re going with JUBE514’s canon and jason doesn’t die they’re all brothers f off-)

ANYWAYS: Certified Little Shits Dick, Jason, and Tim, ready for chaos/solidifying secret identities: “Don’t worry! We believe in batman! We saw him!” :D

They then proceed to tell the justice league that Bruce HAS met Batman, but he has a phobia of bats, so when Batman saved them at a gala Bruce screamed so loud and shrill he threw off the bat-hearing and then punched batman in the face so hard he knocked him out cold, grabbed then-baby Jason and ran. (Nightwing and the second Robin had to HEROICALLY rescue a dazed Batman, Dick saw it with his own eyes!)

Bruce was so scared of the bat coming to take revenge that he jumped at every shadow for a whole month. Why, Jason, (who was younger then) had slept in Bruce's bed to keep him safe! (Dick is crooning about his cute little brother. Jason, who is hitting his growth spurt and not a little kid anymore, is infinitely embarrassed.) Right now, Brucie has settled into firmly denying Batman’s entire existence so that he can sleep soundly at night.

“Why is he so scared of bats?” The Justice League is wondering. Oh, they are so glad they asked!

“Alfred told us a story once,” Dick says, eyes wide and innocent as he prepares to lie through his fucking teeth, “that when Bruce was little, really little, he got trapped in a cave filled with bats, and his dad had to come rescue him. Apparently, Little Bruce had been crying about a massive bat, even bigger than he was, with glowing red eyes and human hands and (gasp) wait oh my goodness gracious what if that was the BATMAN :0”

“The baby batman.” Jadon adds.

“Batboy?” Tim wonders.

“Alfred, do you think Bruce met Batman when they were little?” Dick asks.

“I believe,” Alfred “the greatest enabler” Pennyworth hums, offering fresh baked scones to thier gleeful audience, “that Master Bruce referred to what he saw as ‘the bat king’ and reported seeing him outside his window several times over the years.”

“Maybe it really was him! Will you ask Batman for us?” Tim asks, already planning to hack the watchtower cameras and set up some popcorn with his brothers.

The Justice League, who have learned more about the Batman in one conversation than they have over MANY years of working together, tell the Wayne children that it will be their Genuine Pleasure to quiz batman on his interactions with BRUCIE WAYNE who has, apparently, laid batman out cold with one punch.

Alfred adds on that he personally thinks the Batman is being rather courteous to Master Bruce, as “bat king” sightings were after “difficult times” and he doesn’t come near the manor otherwise, as robin had been the one to return some family heirlooms that one time they were stolen. He calls the batman and his robins “polite young gentlemen” and then leaves.

But now the gears are turning in the justice leagues heads. Batman? Courteous? Polite? Batman is not Courteous or Polite. Not unless something else is going on.

Now. From their point of view. Batman lives in the cave systems under the richest houses in Gotham, Phantom of the Opera style, hiding his meta form (because this batman is playing cryptid really well. Maybe he was a mutant baby of some Rich Gothamites, who threw him into the caves in shame!) He’s been watching Bruce Wayne, likely as he struggled with the highly reported on demise of his parents, seeing the effects that crime had on the boy that fell into his cave all those years ago. Batman has always been so protective of children, so hateful of guns, obviously the Wayne tragedy is part of what motivates him. He loves Gotham dearly, territorial of it to the point of keeping other heroes out, and yet he breaks that rule here, for Gotham's prince, solely for Bruce’s comfort.

Bruce, another person who obviously loves the city of Gotham just as much, putting millions into charity and relief efforts. Who is clearly very protective of his children, even if he usually has no spine, to the point of attacking his greatest fear to keep then safe, and good enough to land a hit, even. (Bruce Wayne is also considerably attractive.)

Its all so clear to the Justice League: Batman is madly in love with Bruce Wayne. Has been for years. To the point of watching him sleep, on occasion. How very tragic! Batman, in love with someone he can never be with! Not only would it paint a massive target on Bruce’s back if they ever did get together- there’s no questioning what Gotham villains would do if they discovered this, (and denying himself love out of an attempt to keep others safe is EXACTLY the kind of self-sacrificing nonsense Batman would pull) But Batman can’t even truly see the man he’s in love with without Brucie running away in terror! Well, the poor guy… how sad…

This conclusion can be supported by the following evidence-

Batman’s first appearance being right after Bruce Wayne returned to Gotham. Was the bat following him to protect him in those missing years? Or maybe he decided to clean up the city now that his beloved had returned?

Batman always being seen near where Bruce is. He’s never once been at the watchtower when Bruce has a public appearance- he must be watching over him, a silent guardian in case someone gets it in their head to kidnap Gotham’s Prince.

Batman insisting that Bruce is innocent in a corporate scheme, despite evidence to the contrary. (Hes right in the end, of course, but they’ve never seen him ignore evidence so clear.)

Batman casually referencing Wayne Tech/Foundation inner workings- he keeps an eye on them, of course. (If he can’t be close to the object of his affections, the league reasons, of course he’d make sure that Bruce’s company and projects are on the right track)

Nightwing, when asked, confirms the Bruce Punching Batman story. He says “honestly I think B was impressed! Caught him off guard!” (Since when does Batman lower his guard? Only when he’d be… distracted, perhaps…)

Superman saves Bruce, who thanks him with a kiss on the cheek. Later, justice league was teasing Clark, batman huffs and leaves the room. He’s CLEARLY jealous! Superman feels just awful!

Batman inexplicably knowing social dances/high society manners- he must have learned by watching (stalking) bruce! He can navigate high profile talk if he wants to, he just doesn’t want to most of the time. but if the situation calls for it he can talk like the Richest of Pricks in a way that only comes with observation.

Batman bristling when some of the league members start making Comments on Brucie Wayne’s Physical Attributes. (Jealousy? Defensiveness? Perhaps… embarrassment at GL’s detailed explanation on what he’d do with a chance in bed with Brucie.)

Batman absolutely freezing up when confronted with any of the above evidence. (He’s trying SO HARD not to laugh/go tell his kids)

Dick/Jason being big enough to wear the Bat-wings rather than thier own and be convincing- they save Bruce, though the man passes out (from fear? Blood loss from an injury? Perhaps- he is faking) and Dick/Jason, either out of genuine concern for their dad or general “how can i stir the pot” chaos, gently strokes his hair away from his face in an act of compassion that the cameras just so happen to catch. (There’s a few tears shed in the justice league- poor batman! He can’t be with his love!)

The robins (in both identities) telling the justice league that they've seen batman watching him.

“oh yeah he does background checks on aaaaaall bruces conquests. Had a conniption when brucie found a mafia boss that one time.”

“And when he found out Bruce and Two-face had a fling!”

(The league notes that often, if a criminal gets too close to Brucie, they’re put away not long after. B is usually collecting evidence in his civilian ID. But it looks like angry Batman wanted them to get the hell away from his mans.)

The Justice League is swooning over this tragic, forbidden love story. Batman is a little creepy but hey. He apparently grew up in a cave system. Its a wonder he's as well adjusted as he is. Batman has their sympathy, he seems less unflappable/untouchable, they’re a little more understanding with him now. Superman is all too happy to be a rebound, if needed. There are magic users offering glamour spells. Green Lantern is making exposure therapy innuendos.

The robins can’t believe how lucky they got. They’re def grounded but B can’t be too mad bc his secret identity is FUKIN SET.

Alfred is rather proud of Batman's new nickname in the league being “the bat king” and keeps sending batman along with cookies. The league thinks Batman is checking up on bruce with his butler. Its a mess.

Eventually, Batman loses a bet to one of his kids. Committing to the Bit with an exasperated sigh (he’s definitely not having fun, shut up jason.)

He admits to his crush.

#cryptid batman #brucie wayne #wing fic #justice league #dc universe #dc prompt #when the league finds out they’re almost offended #b just sheugs and say they drew their own conclusions #also his robins and alfred were having fun #bruce wayne #batman #bruce wayne x batman #superbat

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mountttmase · 3 months

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Where You Belong

Note - happy Sunday 🤭 this was actually a request from my lovely Sid and now you guys get to enjoy it 😂 feedback would be appreciated and I hope you enjoy this little break from winter sun

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 7.2k

Warnings - angst and fluff

Late training sessions were never Mason's favourite.

In an ideal world he’d be home around three, get himself tucked into bed for a little nap before having the evening to himself but today was different.

Training didn’t finish until around 8pm however Luke had invited him round for a quick dinner and a few games of fifa so he wasn’t home until around eleven and all he wanted was to get into bed and sleep his life away.

Coming home to an empty house never got easier, just like getting into a cold bed still made his tummy sink but he’d made his bed and now he had to lie in it.

Literally.

The one thing Mason wasn’t expecting was his phone to start ringing just as he’d slipped under the covers. Groaning slightly as he rolled over to grab his phone so he could see who wanted him at this ungodly hour but the number wasn’t saved to his contacts and he didn’t recognise it so it let it ring until it stopped to see if they’d leave a message but it was ringing again before he had a chance to think.

Mason hated answering calls from strange numbers, but it was late and the fact that they’d called again straight away made him think he really needed to pick up so with a slight huff he sat up and hit the answer button.

‘Hello?’

‘H-hi, is that Mason?’

‘’Yeah it’s me’ he answered, unsure of who was asking after him but just as he was about to moan at whoever was on the other end for calling, the voice speaking to him suddenly clicked in his brain and his breath caught in his throat. ‘Wait, y/n is that you?’

‘Um y-yeah it’s me’ he heard the voice on the other line sniff and it’s like his world had stopped. He hadn’t heard that voice in two months and he was pretty sure he’d never hear it again but there you were. Calling him from a number he didn’t recognise, sounding more upset than he’d ever heard you.

Well maybe only once before.

‘Is everything okay?’ He asked tentatively, knowing you were upset on the other end but he was unsure as to why you were getting in contact after everything that had happened a few months prior.

‘Um no, not really’ you sniffed, ‘I was at a gig and I met these people and… well long story short they took all my stuff. I’m at the police station now and they said I could call someone and yours was the only number I could remember’ you told him, feeling a little silly now as you listened to his deep breathing on the other end of the line. Gulping down a nervous lump before carrying on. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you or anything I just-‘

‘It’s alright, where are you I’ll come and get you’

‘No, it’s fine I don’t-‘

‘Y/n, I’m coming to get you. Just tell me where you are’ he said sternly. Getting out of bed and stuffing himself into his shoes as you told him the address of the station you were at and thankfully it was only 15 minutes away. ‘Just stay where you are, I’ll come inside’

‘Yeah cause that’ll look great. Mason Mount spotted leaving Manchester police station in the early hours, I can see the headlines now’

‘Well I can’t exactly text you I'm outside, can I?’ He reasoned. ‘And I don’t want you standing out in the cold. Don't worry I’ll put my hood up and I’ve got my sunglasses just… I won’t be long just stay where you are’

Mason was out of the door as soon as you’d hung up. Driving well over the speed limit but it was all he could do to stop his mind whirling. This wasn’t how he’d planned to see you again but you needed him and no matter what he’d always come running.

He saw you before you saw him and he took a few seconds just to look at you. You looked so small and fragile, eyes downcast as they looked to your hands in your lap and all he wanted to was to hold you. But he was unsure as to how you might react to him so in the end he took a few small steps forward in hopes you’d look up and see him.

As soon as your eyes locked onto his Mason felt like he’d been shot. The pain ripping through his chest was almost suffocating as he took you in, your bottom lip wobbling and eyes filling with tears before you launched yourself at him.

•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡

Mason was probably the last person you wanted to call, but beggars can’t be choosers when you’re in the situation you’re in.

You hadn’t even realised it had happened till it was done, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to take yourself out on a solo date as your favourite band were playing nearby and you’d always wanted to see them live. Your original plan was to go with your friend Jenny, but after that no longer was an option you figured you could go on your own so you didn’t miss out but the thought terrified you.

All was going well though and you even made some new friends with the group of people who were standing next to you but you should've known when they had to rush off at the end that something wasn’t right.

You reached into your bag for your phone to grab yourself an Uber home but your bag was empty. Not just your phone missing but your keys and purse and after a few minutes of panic you made your way over to someone who was working security and tearfully told her what had happened.

You didn’t want to make too much of a fuss, and when you had to take a trip to the police station so you could give a statement your night became even worse. This isn’t how you’d planned your night to go at all but the police officer who was dealing with you kept you calm and helped you block your cards before running through some options for everything else.

When it came to making a call you knew there was only one number you’d memorised for emergencies. There should have been no reason you’d ever have to rely on anyone else but things had changed and you were desperate.

You knew he wouldn’t pick up on the first ring if it was from a random number so you called back straight away and after four rings his sleepy voice came filtering through making your eyes sting immediately. You hadn’t heard it in so long and thought you might never again but you held it together as best you could.

As soon as you started speaking you felt stupid. What were you expecting him to do? He wasn’t yours anymore and he owed you nothing but as soon as you were able to explain you could hear him shuffling about to come and get you and the relief you felt was overwhelming

The wait for him felt like a lifetime. Sat there wondering what to say or do when he got there but you were so distraught and worked up by the time he was you did the first thing you could think of and threw yourself into his body. You knew he was shocked as it took him a second to get his bearings but soon enough he was wrapping you up in his arms and holding you close to his chest.

‘It’s alright, you’re fine’ he whispered into your hair. Rubbing your back to comfort you just like he used to but it just seemed to make your tears feel faster. ‘Come on, let’s go. We’ll go sit in the car yeah?’

You let him lead you out to his car. Getting yourself settled in his passenger seat as he ran around to the drivers side and you tried your best to calm yourself but you felt a little awkward now and his sympathetic expression was making you feel worse.

‘Are you alright?’

‘Yeah, bloody fantastic. What do you think?’ You huffed, feeling awful immediately as you knew he was only looking out for you but you couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye as you felt your mood sink even further. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that’

‘No it’s alright’ he whispered, playing with his fingers in his lap.

‘No it’s not’ you told him, holding back your tears as best you could before turning to him. ‘Thank you for coming to get me’

‘That’s okay’ he smiled softly, but you just felt like crying all over again. ‘Where do you wanna go now?’

‘I don’t even know’ you laughed, not having many options right now. ‘‘Can you go to Luke’s? I gave my spare key to Anouska’ you told him, not even thinking about what you were saying, but you knew from the moment his face dropped even further he was upset by what you’d said.

‘Oh uh, yeah sure’ he mumbled. Starting the car without another word and even though you wanted to talk to him and explain you didn’t think it would help too much.

The journey was silent, Mason looking straight ahead with a hard expression and you attempted to break the silence a few times but chickened out at the very last second each time as you could tell by the tense atmosphere that no matter what you said it wouldn’t make a difference. He was pissed, you just hoped he wouldn’t take it out on them.

‘Wait here, I’ll go and get it’ he told you, pulling up to Luke’s house and getting out the door before he’d even turned the engine off and you sighed as you watched him jog up the path. You knew Mason and you knew he was holding everything in so it was only a matter of time before he let it out. You didn’t know if it would be through anger or hurt but you kept your eye on him and he stood and waited for someone to answer the door.

‘Hey mate, sorry for just turning up’ Mason told Luke quietly after he answered the door. Luke looking a little sleepy but thankfully not annoyed at his sudden arrival.

‘Don’t be silly, is everything okay? Did you forget something?’ He asked, rubbing his eyes but as soon as he got a better look at Mason his expression changed to one of concern as he waited for the younger boy to speak.

‘Yea yeah fine, no listen um- it’s a long story but I’ve got y/n in the car and I need her spare key. She said Anouska keeps one here?’

‘Oh um- let me grab her one sec’ he mumbled, nodding his head inside so Mason could stand in the doorway rather than out in the cold and soon enough Luke was following in behind his wife.

‘Mase? Is everything alright?’

‘Y/n’s had all her stuff stolen tonight. I’ve just picked her up from the police station’

‘Oh my god, is she alright?’

‘She’s fine, they took in without her knowing so she’s not hurt or anything just upset. I’m just taking her home but we can’t get in cause she’s got no keys but apparently you’ve got a spare?’

‘Oh, yeah I’ll go grab it for you’ she told you quietly, grabbing a key from the rack before handing it over and Mason just gave a nod before turning to leave.

Something stopped him in his tracks though. Turning back to face them and the broken look on his face made Anouska’s lip wobble.

‘I asked you guys where she was so many times, every time you said you had no idea but you knew along? How could you do that to me?’ He asked quietly, the hurt in his voice evident at his friend’s betrayal but they were quick to try and reassure him.

‘No it’s not like that at all Mason I promise’ Anouska started but her voice started to wobble so Luke took over.

‘We really didn’t have any idea, mate. We’ve only had the key for two weeks, She showed up out the blue and made us swear not to say anything’ Luke explained but even if it had been two weeks he was still upset about being kept in the dark.

‘I’m really sorry, Mase. She’s got no one and I was just trying to look out for her, I thought it’s what you’d want’ Anouska told him, and Mason didn’t have anything to say. Upset his closest friends had been secretly hiding you behind his back but his emotions were all over the place from everything that was going on tonight and he didn’t want to make everyone feel worse so in the end he just nodded before bidding them a farewell and sulking back to the car.

‘Don’t be mad at them, It was me who made them keep quiet’ you told him after he’d handed the key over to you but he just shrugged. Clearly not in the mood to talk about it so you let him drive away, afraid the silence might consume you.

‘Where am I going?’ He asked quietly as he neared the end of their road and you let him know you’d direct him back to your flat. It was about a half an hour drive over to the other side of town and you were thankful for the low music he played so it wouldn’t be too awkward.

Once you arrived back at your flat you thought Mason might want to leave but he came up with you. You’d moved in two weeks after your break up and had just taken the first semi acceptable place that was available. Under any normal circumstances you would have second guessed showing Mason this place but your need to have someone nearby in your hour of need outweighed the part of your brain that was embarrassed by the tiny flat you now called your own.

‘Sorry about the mess’ you told him quietly as you both walked in but he just gave you a tight but reassuring smile.

‘Don’t worry about it, you should see my bathroom right now, it’s a right state’ he laughed, thankful he seemed to be perking up a little but you hated the way he referred to it as his bathroom. He used to call it our bathroom, the one you shared before things took a turn. ‘What did the officers say happen now?’

‘There should be someone round soon to change the locks over and then they’ll call me later on tomorrow if they’ve got any updates’ you confirmed, watching him eye your living room carefully and you felt your heart sink. ‘Listen, thanks for walking me up, but you can go if you like’

‘I think it’s best I stay, just until the locks are changed at least. There’s random people walking about with your keys so I’ll stay for a bit to be safe’ he told you and his concern for you even now melted your heart just a tiny bit.

‘Take a seat then’ you told him. Nodding to the sofa in the corner before following him over to take the seat next to him. Squishing yourself into the side so your thighs didn’t touch but thankfully he seemed to be having the same idea to keep as far apart as you possibly could on the worn out sofa.

‘So you were at a gig tonight?’ He asked quietly after a few moments of silence, clearly wanting to make a bit of conversation after an hour or so of being understandably standoffish with you and you nodded whilst keeping your eyes looking forward.

‘Yeah’

‘On your own?’

‘Yeah’

‘‘It’s not like you to go out on your own’ he commented and you had to gulp down a nervous lump.

‘Well I wasn’t meant to be but my plus one couldn’t go’ you told him. Trying to be vague on purpose to avoid an awkward conversation but you felt him tense up besides you.

‘Oh’ he breathed, nodding his head solemnly but you weren’t quite sure why he’d suddenly turned so moody again and you figured you should explain a little more even if it did take you down a path you didn’t want to be going down.

‘Yeah, Jenny and I don’t talk anymore and I paid for the tickets in the first place so I sold the other one and went in my own’

‘Jenny? You were meant to go with Jenny?’ he asked, face slightly shocked but you could detect a hint of relief in there too.

‘Yeah? Why, who do you think I meant?’

‘Well I don’t know… I thought you meant like a date or something’ he told you awkwardly and even though you knew it was an easy conclusion to come to you still felt your anger rise inside of you.

‘A date? We’ve been broken up for two months, Mase. Is that what you think of me?’ You laughed, slightly in disbelief at what he seemed to be accusing you of.

Well no-‘

‘Is that what you’ve been doing?’ You asked, looking at him with furrowed brows, noticing his expression matched yours.

‘No, I didn’t-‘

A knock at the door snapped the pair of you out of your little argument. Mason standing up to go and answer if before you got a chance and from what you could hear, it sounded like the locksmith here to sort the locks out.

Mason always had the gift of the gab and you were in no mood for plesentaries so you left them to chat, thankful he was taking charge for you even if things before had just taken a weird turn and before long Mason offered him a cup of tea and he reappeared in front of you again.

‘Why don’t you go have a shower and get changed or whatever. I can deal with this’ he offered and even though the thought of being under the hot water sounded like heaven you didn’t want to leave this all up to him when it was your mess.

‘It’s fine-’

‘Please’ he interrupted, his hand gently touching your shoulder before he pulled back. ‘It’s been a long night for you and there’s no point in you being sat out here like a lemon. I’ll come and find you when it’s done, yeah?’

‘Okay’ you told him quietly. Secretly happy he was taking the responsibility away from you. ‘I’ll just be in there’ you whispered, nodding to the door in the far corner of the room and with one final small smile he stepped into your kitchen to make a cup of tea.

You let the warm water of the shower consume you. Not realising how tense you were until you tried to relax and it took more effort than you realised. Raising the temperature of the water ever so slightly try and relax yourself even further but your mind was going a mile a minute.

You couldn’t believe how tonight had gone. You were having the time of your life out of your comfort zone with some people you’d put your trust in for the night but your massive highs always seemed to be followed by massive lows lately. Still not believing you’d been so easy to exploit and that they’d taken your stuff without you even realising.

You tried holding your tears in, having not cried properly since the whole ordeal happened but now you were at home with Mason so close by you could feel your walls slipping again.

You felt silly and exposed. All the things you were protective of had been taken away from you from right under your nose and you couldn’t believe you’d let it happen. You were usually so aware of what was going on but these last few weeks and tonight especially made you realise maybe you weren’t as switched on as you thought.

Once you were done in the shower you slipped into your pjs before laying ontop of your bed. Not wanting to get fully inside right now as Mason was still here and you didn’t want to fall asleep without saying goodbye but the longer you sat in your own thoughts the more upset you became.

You could hear him laughing and chatting away outside. A sound you’d hadn’t heard much of in the last month or so of your relationship as the lair of you grew further apart and you missed it terribly. All you could think about was it being your fault things had turned out how they had and after the stress of the last few hours you felt your eyes sting again.

You were determined not to cry, hugging you pillow to your chest as you squeezed your eyes shut tight but the sobs were only moments away and when you heard your front door shut you couldn’t help but finally let things out as you realised it was just you and Mason alone again.

You’d known it this whole time but it really hit you just how much you still loved him in that moment. The fact he’d saved you in your hour of need, taken you home and taken care of what needed to be done so you could relax overwhelmed you as you weren’t sure you could be so kind if he’d treated you the same as you had him and the thought only made you even more upset knowing you may never get back to how you were.

Mason opened your door slowly, not sure if you were asleep or not and even though the room was dark he could still make out the slight shake of our shoulders as you fought to hold it together. Laying facing away from him so he couldn’t see you and the longer he stood there the louder your sobs became.

Mason was stuck, not sure if you wanted to be left alone or if maybe you needed his comfort but in the end he pushed his worries to the side and went to you. It always broke him seeing you upset and right now was no different so he carefully popped himself onto the bed behind you and pulled you body into his chest. Holding you close as you buried your head into the pillow.

‘It’s alright, sweetheart, just let it out’ he whispered, the sound of his gentle voice breaking down what little composure you had left and you let your cries eat you up from the inside. Your body shaking violently as you let go of everything you had inside of you and you even surprised yourself at his upset you were about everything.

‘Hey, come on baby it’s alright’ you heard him murmur, his own voice sounding emotional as he moved to sit up before reaching for you. Pulling you up and into his lap so he could hold you properly and you cried into his neck as he slowly rocked you back and forth whilst whispering in your ear repeatedly that everything would be okay.

He let you cry it out, not rushing you at all or making you calm down quicker than you needed to he just patiently sat and waited for you to raise your head and his devastated expression almost set you off again.

‘Please don’t cry anymore’ he whispered against your forehead before placing the softest kiss between your eyebrows. The physical affection making you want to cry all over again but you held it together.

‘I’m sorry, it’s just been a lot tonight’

‘I know,’ he agreed. Nodding his head as you attempted to wipe your eyes but the feel of his arms around your body and he held you almost like a baby kept your tears flowing silently. ‘Can I ask you something?’ He whispered after a short while. Waiting until you nodded before he carried on talking. ‘Why don’t you and Jenny speak anymore? You told me she was like a sister to you’ he asked you carefully, knowing it must have been a touchy subject but you knew you needed to be honest with him now. He deserved the truth after all you’d put him through and all he’d done for you tonight when you didn’t deserve his kindness.

‘Yeah well, I realised a few things about her’ you told him quietly. Looking up to meet Mason's eyes and the sadness in them made your lip wobble. ‘I’m so sorry’ you whispered.

‘Sorry? What are you sorry for?’

‘I let her get into my head, let her say horrible things about you. I let her get in between us and I know it’s not all her and I played my part but I shouldn’t have listened to her’ you sobbed. ‘I ruined everything’

‘Hey come on’ he breathed, his voice wobbling as he pulled you back into his chest. ‘Don’t cry anymore’

‘I didn’t mean to hurt you’

‘I know bubs’ he whispered. Kissing your temple softly as you calmed yourself back down. ‘What happened?’

What had happened?

Jenny was a bit of a sore subject for the pair of you. You’d met her a week or so after moving to Manchester all those months ago and the pair of you had become fast friends. With Mason always being busy it was easy for the pair of you to spend time together but to say she wasn’t Mason's biggest fan was an understatement.

When you first moved to Manchester, Mason was here, there and everywhere. It was lonely being so far away from everything and everyone you knew but you were determined to make the best of things so when a girl came up to you in a coffee shop to compliment your bag, you gave her a wide smile and offered her a seat rather than shying away like usual.

Jenny had lived in Manchester all her life so when you explained you hadn’t and didn’t really know anyone around here she was quick to give you her number and let you know she would be free whenever to show you her favourite spots.

She was bright and bubbly and just the right sort of person you needed in your life at the time but there was just one problem.

You could tell she was suspicious of Mason from the beginning. You tried telling her that he would be busy a lot with the new season starting in a brand new team but she couldn’t seem to get her head around why he was always away. Asking why he’s dragged you all the way up here just to ignore you and whilst you understood what it looked like from the outside, you and Mason were as strong as a rock.

That didn’t stop Jenny from trying to make you see sense though. Taking every opportunity she could to tear him down in front of you and whilst it was growing tiring she was your only friend up here and you didn’t want to lose her.

Everyday she would ask about him, wondering where he was and who he was with. Wondering why he wasn’t spending time with you and you didn’t know when, but soon enough her words started to stick. Every missed diner or unreplied to text that you used to think nothing of suddenly was sticking out to you like never before and you wondered if she was right.

It all came to head when you invited him to a dinner with some of the girls and their boyfriends and when Mason told you he wasn't available you didn’t even give him a chance to explain. Ignoring him for the rest of the day before getting dolled up for a night out without him.

‘You need to be strong, babe. Be firm with him and say it’s not acceptable. There’s not an excuse in the world that I’d accept for him not coming tonight, you don’t deserve to be treated like this’ Jenny told you. ‘You wait until you’ve found someone else, he’ll regret it then and he won’t be able to do anything about it’

You were late home on purpose, not ready to talk to him yet but to your surprise he’d waited up for you. His face full of sorrow as he tried to get your attention but you ignored him on purpose. Sleeping in the guest room before the pair of you engaged in a heated row the next morning.

You hadn't given him a chance to tell you what he was doing as you spent your time ignoring the day before but he was just as pissed as you were this morning. Furious with you for not hearing him out and telling you that the whole reason he wasn’t able to go out with you last night was because he was booked in for a charity event for children who were learning to read and speak English and he thought you were coming with him.

You tried not to let him get to you. You knew his charity work was important to him and you knew you’d agreed to go with him months ago but you’d been so wrapped up in Jenny that you’d forgotten all about it. In the end, trying to turn things onto him and making out like he hadn't reminded you or told you about it yesterday but he confessed he’d given up trying with you.

You said so many things you wished you could take back now. Things you knew weren’t true but you’d been spoon fed to believe and once again you didn’t give him a chance to say his piece properly. Ranting at him for as long as you could before locking yourself away again.

When Mason left for training you’d called Jenny, crying down the phone to her about everything that had happened and she convinced you to pack your things and get out. Even coming round to help you finish off and and drive you away so you could stay with her for a few days whilst you found a place of your own.

As soon as Mason realised what was happening he was blowing up your phone. Demanding to see you and talk things out but you refused, hanging up on him in the end before sending him a text to let him know you needed space but you were done and not to message you again before you blocked him.

Life without Mason was hard but you had Jenny by your side at all times. Constantly reminding you that you’d made the right choice and that when you were ready the pair of you would go out and find you a man that would put you first.

That was two months ago, and you’d been miserable everyday. Each moment passing making you think you’d messed up but you didn’t realise how much until two weeks ago.

‘Two weeks ago, we were out getting lunch and I popped to the loo. When I came back this girl she knew passed by and she got up to give her a hug and stuff but she left her phone face up on the table and I could see she was trying to message you on insta’ you told him. Looking up to see his face looking confused. ‘I took her phone and scrolled to the top and she’d been DMing you from the day we ended things. I think that’s the only reason she ever spoke to me was to get to you’

‘I’m sorry sweetheart’ he tutted, brushing your hair back from your face so he could place a gentle kiss on your forehead again. ‘What did you do?’

‘When she sat back down I told her my locks were getting changed the next day and if I could have my key back before pretending to take a call outside. I just went straight home and sent her a text saying I knew what she was up to and you’d never go near her in a million years’ you told him with a slight laugh, smiling as he chuckled under you before you felt him reach for his phone.

‘Find her for me?’ He asked, opening up instagram so you could pull up her profile and look at the messages she’d sent him. Even now reading them back made you skin crawl but you watched masons expression change to a disgusted one as he read the first ones through.

‘Why would she send me this shit?’ He laughed, coming out of the messages so he could go back to her profile and block her before throwing his phone to the side and looking back down at you. ‘I’m sorry she’s not who you thought she was’

‘It's fine’ you shrugged. Not caring about her or what she’d done to you anymore but the sympathetic look on his face made your heart thump. ‘Why are you being so nice to me? I was shit to you’ you asked. It only really hitting you now that you were broken up still but the way he was being so soft and loving with you made your heart race.

‘Cause I love you’ he told you seriously and you felt your whole body freeze. Loved you? Still? ‘Yeah we may not like each other a whole lot right now but I’ll always love you, y/n’ he confirmed and you felt your eyes sting.

‘I still like you’ you whispered, watching his face soften a touch, both smiling tearily as you came to the realisation things weren’t as bad as it seemed and you could have sworn you felt him hold you a little tighter.

‘I still like you, too’ he nodded, but you were overwhelmed by his kindness and felt yourself getting upset again.

‘God I’m so fucking stupid’ you laughed, nuzzling into his neck and you laughed at the way he held you slightly tighter.

‘Hey, don’t say that’

‘But I am. I walked out on you when you’ve been the best thing that ever happened to me, took some random girls side who was fucking me over the whole time and then befriending a local gang of theives’ you joked before it hit you again that all your stuff had been taken. ‘I can’t believe all my stuff’s gone’

‘It’s okay, we can replace it all’ he reassured you and your heart broke at the way he was trying to help even though there were certain things that couldn’t be replaced.

‘I know but my phone’

‘It’s just a phone love, we can get you a new one’ he told you, but that wasn’t the reason why you were so upset about it. You couldn’t care less about the actual phone itself as you knew you could get a new one whenever but it was the stuff on the phone rather than the phone itself.

‘It’s not the phone, it’s what was on it. It’s gone and I can’t replace all that’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’ve got years worth of pictures and memories on there, I never backed my phone up or anything so they’ve all gone. And yeah maybe I’d have to get rid of them at some point but I wasn’t ready to let them go yet. To let you go.’

‘I’m right here bubs. You can’t get rid of me that easily’ he whispered. Cradling your face as he gazed into your eyes lovingly. ‘Whatever you lost, I’ve probably still got it on my phone so when we get you a new one I can just send it all over’

‘Really?’ You sobbed, relief washing through you as you realised not everything was so hopeless so you just held him as tight as you could and breathed in his scent that you’d missed so much. ‘I don’t deserve you’

‘Look at me’ he whispered. Pulling back so you could look in each other's eyes and then softness in them made you melt. ‘You’ve stuck by me through thick and thin for years. Every game, every tournament, whatever it was you were there for me. I know I wasn’t the greatest at being there for you but I promise you I’ll try a lot harder if you’ll let me’

‘No, Mase none of this was ever your fault. I was being selfish, like even when you told me the next day why you couldn’t make it to that dinner I was still so blinded by everything Jenny had told me I didn’t care but now I can’t believe I ever acted that way’ you told him. ‘I’m sorry I let her make me think you didn’t give me enough time when I know you gave me everything you had. I’m sorry I just left without really giving us a chance to talk through things and I’m sorry I made your friends lie for me’ you whispered. ‘Please don’t be mad at them, I made them promise not to say anything’

‘Why didn’t you just come back to me’ he uttered, his voice sounding the saddest you’d heard it all night and it was close to breaking you.

‘I was ashamed’ you gulped ‘I thought you’d turn me away’

‘I wouldn’t have, I promise’ he told you tearily. ‘I had a feeling there was more to it but I’ve missed you every day, you know? Your my one and I’ve been going out of my mind not being able to get hold of you’

‘I’ve missed you too’ you sobbed, hiding away in his neck again as you held each other tightly. Mason going back to rocking you from side to side in hopes it would calm you down and soon enough your sobs turned to sniffles and you pulled back to look at him properly.

You couldn’t class the dark marks under his eyes as bags, they were more like suitcases he’d been carrying the weight of the world in. His skin pale in comparison and you knew it was because he probably wasn’t looking after himself properly in the months you’d gone but your heart thumped when you reached out to cup his jaw and he turned his head in your hand so he could kiss your palm before melting into your touch.

‘You look exhausted’ Mase. I’m so sorry for making you get up to come and get me’

‘Don’t be, I’m glad you did’

‘Will you stay tonight? Like in here with me?’ You asked quietly, hoping the pleading look in your eyes would wear him down but he was nodding straight away. Holding you closer before pulling back to look at you and the cheeky smile on his face made your heart thump as you hadn’t seen it in so long.

‘You better budge up then, what size bed is this anyway?’ He joked as he helped you off of him and you felt your face flush as you pulled back the covers.

‘It’s a small double, there’s not enough room in here for a normal sized one’ you laughed, crawling inside and you felt yourself go shy as he kicked off his shoes and joined you.

‘I’m only kidding, love.

‘You don’t have to be kind, I know it’s awful here’

‘It’s cozy’ he said softly. Apprehensively reaching for you but once he realised you were happy for him to hold you he pulled you into his chest and you felt your whole body relax.

‘It’s shit’ you laughed, nuzzling down into his chest before looking up into his kind eyes.

‘Why did you stay here then? In Manchester I mean. Thought you would have gone back to London with everyone since you’re only here because of me’

‘I guess the only one good thing about Jenny was she convinced me to stay’ you huffed. ‘It was probably just to feed me more lies about you but she said he’d look out for me up here as if I went home everyone would tell you where I am’

‘You know what, she’s probably right. I’ve been on at everyone constantly since you left but no one would tell me anything’

‘I’m so sorry’ you breathed. ‘I really am so sorry Mase but I’m here now and I promise I’ll make this right. If you still want me’

‘I’ll always want you’ he confirmed quietly. Lips falling to your forehead again so he could place a gentle kiss there and you couldn't hold in the shiver that ran down your spine. ‘And you know I’ve always got room for you. You know in our house we picked together’ he teased, tears filling your eyes and what he might be suggesting. The thought of being home too much for you to take right now. ‘First World problems but you don’t know how hard it is to be there and be reminded of you every bloody place I look’

‘Well maybe we can figure something out then’ you laughed. Excited about the prospect of being home with him where you belonged but unsure if it was too soon.

‘Just come home please, love’

‘Isn’t it too soon?

‘We both know you’ll be back sooner or later, and I’m never letting you go anywhere again so we might as well just crack on’ he joked, tucking his head into your hair as you both clung to one another. ‘Do you still work half days on Friday?’

‘I do’ you laughed, your heart leaping at the way he remembered the most random things about you.

‘Okay perfect. Pack up what you can tomorrow afternoon then and I’ll come by after training and help and then we’ll get you back home okay? Back where you belong’

‘Okay’ you whispered, too dumbfounded to say anything else but you knew when you saw his eyes flash to your lips you wanted to kiss him instantly. Thankfully his lips were already closing in on yours so you just shut your eyes and let him kiss you.

It was the softest kiss you’d ever shared. Full of nerves and caution but as you kissed him back it became one of longing and you held each other as tight as you could almost as if you were afraid the other might vanish into thin air. Only pulling back when Mason got the giggles and had to hide his face in your hair again.

‘What’s wrong?’ you laughed, trying to look at his face and as soon as he let you, you realised how blushy his cheeks were.

‘Nothing I’m just… just happy we’re back’

‘Me to’ you agreed. Letting him pull you back up for another heated kiss that you didn’t want to end. Finally feeling whole again, back where you belonged in the arms of the man who meant more to you than anyone or anything else.

Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it and I’d love it if you could leave me some feedback 🩷

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urdepressedslut · 10 months

Text

You’re Mine, Sunshine ❝part nine❞

♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: After the events from the other day, you try and cope with the reality of what happened. The world is a lot less colorful than you remember. Bucky helps comfort you after you realize you have no one left.

♡ Warnings: heavy angst, flashbacks, abuse, mentions of parent death, hints to depression, reader doesn't know she has depression, anxiety attacks

Series Masterlist

Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine | Mob!Au Bodyguard!Au

Italics are flashbacks

“I don’t know… I kinda like shirts that don’t hug me too tight.” You mumbled, scratching the back of your neck.

You heard a dramatic gasp, and you looked into her eyes as she shook her head, holding up the top she had been trying to convince you to buy.

“Babygirl— why can’t you see how gorgeous you are. Anything you wear, you’d make look like a million bucks.” You Mother almost whined, and you couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped your lips from her antics.

“Ma you know that’s not true.” You argued, failing at keeping a serious expression.

“No baby— I know I’m right. That’s my secret.” She argues back confidently.

She walked closer and started combing stray hairs out of your eyes, smiling at you adoringly as she did so. Her eyes practically sparkled with love.

“What’s your secret Ma?” You asked quietly, leaning into your Mother’s delicate touch.

She cupped your chin and raised your face to her lips, the feeling of her pecking your forehead sweetly. The gesture made you all warm inside— her love filling you with so much protection.

“Mommies never lie. So you really are beautiful baby— and soon you’ll start to see that, and you’ll be breaking hearts left and right.” She spoke quietly to you.

“I won’t be breaking any hearts… because that means I’ll have to date people and well… that’s scary.” You admitted.

Your Mother lifted your chin back up, giving you another loving kiss on your forehead, stroking your cheek as if you were fragile and needed to be protected. In her eyes— you were her everything. Her little girl— she only wished you could live your life without any pain. She knew life wasn’t that perfect— but she’d do anything for her baby. She’s try as hard as she could to make her life perfect. She deserved it.

“It is scary baby, but if you never put yourself out there— you may never have the chance to meet people.” She cooed. “We learn a lot from everyone we meet, and if you don’t meet anyone— you won’t learn anything. It helps us grow into being a better person.”

You nodded in understanding, feeling comforted by her words. She believed that you could do it, so you started to believe you could. Your Mother truly did know best— she’d never put you in a bad situation. As much as you hated to admit it, she was almost always right.

“You’re so smart Ma. I’m glad I've got a Mama as good as you around.” You whispered as you hugged her tightly— forgetting that you were at the mall.

Her laugh vibrated through her chest as your head lay against her heart.

“You know your compliments always go straight to my head.” She joked and you snorted and playfully hit her hip.

“I’ll take it back.” You playfully warned.

“Please don’t— we were having such a nice moment.” She whined dramatically and you both went into a laughing fit.

The air was so cool— so breathable. Your limbs felt relaxed, your mind was at ease. Everything was so much easier with your Mother around, she truly was the light of your life.

"Okay, I'll get it." You finally gave in, pointing to the shirt that was hanging off her arm.

Your Mother eyes brightened and she smiled like the chesire cat, almost starting to jump up and down like a little kid. You forgot who was the older one sometimes. You just watched with a giggle.

"That's my girl." She ruffled your hair and headed towards the cashier.

You watched her walk away, happy that you could make her happy. Although the top wasn't what you'd usually wear— maybe your Mother was right. It was time to get out of your comfort zone— plus she was never wrong.

You cracked your eyes open at the sound of rain hitting your window, the peaceful ambience of a storm passing over the house. You let out a deep breath, a heavy feeling left sitting on your chest— the bittersweet memory still fresh in your mind. It was sweet because even the memory of your Mother could fill your body with the joy that you had been missing from life. Although it was bitter because they were only memories. Instead of staying in the moment with her, you were forced to be sent back into reality. Back to a world where she wasn't around anymore. That was the most painful realization you had to live through every day.

The days since her passing had been the same, but it was slightly different this time around. You were almost positive that because of the relationship between you and your Father was getting worse— had you desperately wishing to have your Mother back.

You wondered if it would've been easier to never know parental love, then live most of your life with it— then to not have it.

You hadn’t realized you had slept through the night, misjudging how exhausted your kind and body was. There was just a slight glow from outside, otherwise the sky was cloudy— the weather gloomy. The outside was currently how you felt, it seemed.

Glancing around the room, there was no sign of him. Which was the second thing that had come to your mind this morning. Bucky.

Pushing that thought to the side, you swung your legs over the edge of your bed— heading towards the bathroom. Your head felt heavy, your limbs feeling like there were wights tied to them. You overall felt like the walk to the bathroom was much harder than it should’ve been. You had hoped that a nights rest would ease the haze that covered your brain. But as you walked to the bathroom— you could still sense the thick fog within your head.

Switching on the light, you headed straight for the mirror without giving it much thought. You’d be lying if you said your reflection didn’t startle you. In fact the harder you looked— you doubted that was actually you.

Your eyes were puffy, red rimmed as they were the night before. Your lips were chapped, achey with how dry they were. All in all— it was the still irritated skin on your cheek that had you in shock. The palm sized mark had you staring without blinking— your breathing starting to come in rapidly. Almost instantly, the events from the night before began to play through your mind.

"You wonder why I don't want you around— do you not see how you act? Disrespectful fucking brat! I do all these nice things for you— I buy you a fucking house! I provide you with everything you need!"

The memory of his hand shooting towards your face had you flinching back in the space of your bathroom. The action startling you from just remembering.

You furrowed your brows, staring at your reflection in confusion. Puzzled at your body's reaction— the way you had jumped. Even though you were alone in the bathroom— you felt embarrassed. Your hand shot down to grip your thigh, squeezing the flesh until you could start to feel pain. Your nose burned again, your chest tight and uncomfortable— unable to expand fully. You gasped, almost breaking from this trance as you released your thigh— glancing down frantically at the now red and irritated skin. Your head felt fuzzy as you couldn't understand why you were acting like this. You felt like you were out of control of your body— your mind. You wiped your face harshly, drying your skin of any tears— any evidence that you had been a mess.

Without wasting another second, you headed from the bathroom and made your way downstairs— in search of Bucky.

Bucky had made himself comfortable in the grand office downstairs. The room seemingly untouched, obvious that you didn’t care for this room. That much didn’t surprise him. But what did shock him— was the stash of liquor that was kept inside the study.

Surely that wasn’t yours. He thought to himself.

He had sat by your bedside, guarding the room as you slept for awhile. After you started to mumble in your sleep— that’s when he decided to leave. He knew you’d want him to be there when you woke, but the words about your Mother escaping your lips seemed private. It felt wrong to over hear such information while you were unconscious.

He also just needed to excuse himself, needing to drown his thoughts with alcohol for awhile. His career let alone his life— was in jeopardy.

He didn’t want to fear Pierce— but he couldn’t stop the overwhelming waves of anxiety from crashing into him. Amongst everything else, you stuck out in his thoughts. Majority of his worries circled around you, the concerns about you being left alone— with Pierce. If it wasn’t his life he was worried about, it was you. He was only afraid of the outcome because if there was no him— he wouldn’t be able to protect you.

It continued to eat away at him— he knew he should do something. He let the thought pass by… I should run.

He raised the glass, downing the rest of the contents— enjoying the burn on his throat as he scoffed at the cowardly thought.

He’d would run for you… with you.

He stared at the empty glass as he attempted to digest the idea. Knowing deep down he wouldn’t be able to make a proper decision without talking with you.

“James?” You called out, grabbing his attention to the doorway.

You didn’t even attempt to send him one of your usual warm smiles, instead glancing around the room you completely forgot existed. For good reason.

“What are you doing in here?” You asked, but soon found your answer when you let your eyes drop to the bottles of liquor surrounding his empty glass. “It’s early.”

You pointed out, and Bucky lowered his gaze for a moment in shame before lifting his eyes to your face again. This was when he noticed how different you looked.

It was the little, subtle changes that no one else could distinguish. But he could— he could see it clear as day, and it broke his heart.

Your eyes were dull, missing the usual sparkle in them. Your face just seemed like it was longer, the way you didn’t even try to keep a smile on your face. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you so… not you. Lastly, what killed him the most— was the way you were standing. The way you were trying to seem so small, like you could be small enough to hide away from everyone.

“James?” You called again, breaking him from his analysis of you. It was then he realized he hadn’t responded.

“Uh… yeah guess I’m just a little stressed out.” He finally told you, not completely lying.

“You shouldn’t do that— it can cause a lot of issues.” You motioned towards the alcohol.

“I know.” He mumbled, lowering his gaze to the desk again.

“You should just talk to me, instead of drinking until you pass out.” You told him softly.

“I can hold my liquor well.” He tried to argue, glancing up and sending you a smirk.

You just shook your head, crossing your arms like you were a mom scolding her kid.

“I don’t care. You should still talk to me.” You told him sternly.

He couldn’t ignore the shock in your change in demeanor. Of course you’d be in a different mood from the events last night— but he wasn’t used to this solemn version of you yet.

“Okay.” He agreed finally, standing up to head towards another room— preferably one that didn’t hold as much negativity as this one.

You surprised him by reaching out to take his hand, holding it tightly in yours. You didn’t give him a second to show his shock— instead you held on, tugging him towards the direction of the library.

He hadn’t even talked with you yet, but somehow he already felt lighter— in a better mood. Just by your presence, let alone your touch— was enough.

Making your way through the library— hand in hand— you didn’t slow until you reached your spot. The same spot from the very first introduction you two shared. One that didn’t have that good of an ending.

The memory although had a sour end, you still looked back and wanted to smile. You two had no idea what was coming— so naive. Like you said— it almost made you want to smile. Almost.

“James, why are you drinking this early in the morning? I know you’ve got something on your mind.” You started, as soon as you two sat down in your spots.

He rolled his eyes, avoiding your stare. He knew you were right, but also he just didn’t want to have this talk. Though— he knew it needed to happen. He just wished he could have one more care free day. He hated himself for not enjoying them while they lasted.

“Doll, we know what’s going to happen.” He voiced lowly, body and mind defeated.

You flashed a fearful expression before attempting to harden your features back.

“What do you mean?” You asked him cautiously.

“I spoke wrongly to your Father— everything that happened yesterday… you know how this ends for me.” He hinted, hoping you’d understand.

You shook your head, while still glancing at him with a softened expression. You don’t think you’d ever seen Bucky so stressed, his face stuck in a concerned expression.

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“(Y/n)… your Father doesn’t give a shit about me! For all I know— he probably has a new bodyguard ready for you. I’ll be as good as gone soon!” He exclaimed, voice raising— but it was Bucky. You weren’t afraid of him like you were your Father.

“Nothing is going to happen to you— I’ll make sure of it.” You promised him, and for a second he paused and looked at you deeply.

He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back in his seat with a frustrated huff.

“I don’t really care what happens to me… I just don’t wanna leave you. I can’t… I can’t let him keep doing this to you.” He whispered, lowering his head— his emotions stealing his voice.

You felt your heart start to beat faster, the same butterflies fluttering around your stomach once more. Every time he protected you, made an effort to want to be with you— it had you speechless. You never knew you could find something like this again. After your Mother had passed— you thought the feeling was lost.

“We should run.” He spoke again, breaking the thick silence that had blanketed the room.

You swallowed at that suggestion, wondering why a small part of you still didn’t want to leave your Father. Although he had proved to really not care about you— love you. You still loved him. He was all you had left.

But maybe that wasn’t true anymore, here was Bucky sitting in front of you— willing to risk his life just so you could live your happy ending.

“Where will we go?” You spoke back finally, shocking him that you wanted to go along with it.

As he stared into your eyes, his stomach rolled sickeningly at the fear that was evident in your eyes. But it wasn’t fear for yourself— it was for him.

“Somewhere far away— somewhere he won’t find you. I have a few places in mind… but are you really willing to do this? Leave your home?” He asked, happy that you were on board— but still wanted to respect your decision.

You immediately thought of that one cheesy quote you’d read somewhere— not necessarily believing it until now. Home can be a person too.

You felt your nose burn, tears welling into your eyes and this time you didn’t fight it. Everything had been building ever since you’d woken up. The only place you felt safe wasn’t even your home anymore— it was him.

“This place doesn’t really feel like home anymore so… yeah I’m ready.” You admitted, your voice getting quiet by the end.

Bucky’s hand twitched on his thigh, the way his instinct was to touch you— to comfort you. He fought against the side of him that itched to jump over to you, instead he stayed rooted at his spot.

“There’s something else I need to tell you.” He started, not knowing if you were mentally ready to handle this. “Your Father has been keeping this from you for awhile, and he had asked me to keep it from you as well but— you deserve to know. I wanted to tell you so many times I just— I should’ve told you… so I’m sorry.”

You got up from your seat and plopped down next to him, not hesitating to reach out and take his metal hand in your two. Your held it comfortably while also using the metal ridges to fidget with.

“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about what you should’ve done— you’re telling me now. That’s all that matters, so I appreciate that.” You assured him, scooting even closer so that your thighs were touching.

“Someone’s been stalking you (Y/n).” He finally confessed, and almost immediately he could feel the weight being lifted off his chest.

You didn’t speak for awhile, just staring at him like you weren’t sure if you imagined him saying those words. Your brain was having a hard time processing what he had said— someone was stalking you? You were disturbed, your skin crawling with fear. One thing stuck out to you the most— it was the fact that your Father had yet to tell you.

Bucky took your silence as a bad sign, watching you stare blankly at your lap, where your fidgeting hands stilled on his metal one. It was his turn to wrap his metal hand around your wrist, applying a gentle amount of pressure to try and get your attention.

“(Y/n)?” He asked softly, growing more worried the longer you stayed quiet.

You still didn’t know what you were feeling, it was hard to distinguish it when you were already overwhelmed with emotions today. Your brain felt burnt out— your mind wanting to shut off completely.

“How long?” You whispered, still staring at your lap.

“Awhile, and they’ve gotten close. They have left stuff on your doorstep— and I found it before you could see it.” He told you, watching you shiver from the information. “They found your Mother’s necklace in one of the boxes that was dropped off at your door.”

That had gotten your attention, your head snapping up to his— your eyes wide with horror. You immediately started shaking your head in denial, knowing where this was going. You felt like you were gonna be sick, so you tried to swallow back the bile from rising.

“No… No I— I know what you’re going to say! My Mother died from a car accident. That’s how she died.” You rushed out, your vision blurring with tears.

“(Y/n) I’m not saying whoever is stalking you was involved with her passing— I’m just saying that there’s something darker to this than anyone knows.” He assured you, watching you nod in understanding.

His heart hurt watching your body start to tremble, your bottom lip quivering.

“Do you have it?” You whispered ever so quietly.

“What?” Bucky asked suddenly, confused.

You faced him, grabbing onto both his hands now— needing him to ground you from spiraling. Bucky had to hold in the gasp that wanted to escape, from how close you appeared to be.

“Do you have the necklace?” You asked desperately, voice cracking, “My Father he… he wouldn’t let me keep any of my Mothers things.”

Bucky’s heart broke again, his eyes softening at your broken expression. The way you were trembling holding onto him, your eyes red rimmed and lost looking. He had never held such hatred for someone before— fucking Pierce.

“Doll, I’m sorry— he has it.”

You nodded in understanding but couldn’t hold back the new wave of tears. You didn’t hesitate, and threw yourself into his arms. Wrapping your arms right around his middle, feeling the bulky muscles flex through his clothes.

He didn’t waste anytime and engulfed you in his protective embrace. He willed himself to stay strong— for you. But your cries and shakes of your body were killing him, he swore he was feeling physical pain from it all. He wanted to take it all away— all your pain.

Both your legs hung off to the side, while you practically were sitting in his lap. But neither of you cared— yes, it was intimate. But it was intimate in a different way, you both clung onto each other— escaping for a little while just in each others embrace. Being so close now, feeling each other pressed up on another— it felt right. It felt like home.

You felt one of his hands lift to the back of your head, cradling your head as his metal fingers weaves through your hair— just slightly scratching your scalp. You could feel yourself melt further into him. Your body sagging into him.

“I’ve got you (Y/n), I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered soothingly.

“I wanna hate him.” You whimpered, your fists fisting in his shirt.

His heart clenched painfully, hating that there was nothing he could do besides be here for you at the moment. But every cry and whimper only convinced him further that he was doing the right thing— the right thing by running away with you.

“Does that make me a bad person— that I wanna hate him? I want to but… but I can’t!” You cried.

Bucky shook his head, before he realized you couldn’t see him. He pulled you back away from him so he could face you— that was also when he noticed how close you were to him.

“No it doesn’t. He hasn’t been a Father to you. He hurt you— It’s okay to wanna hate him.” He assured you.

He held your gaze, waiting until you nodded to make sure you understood what you were feeling was valid.

“I really wanna hate him…” You whimpered again, trying to lower your eyes but you knew Bucky wouldn’t allow it.

He didn’t know if there was anything he could say to truly make you feel better, but he hoped that his comforting embrace was helping. Little did you know— your tight hold on him was ridding him of any and all stress.

“I know (Y/n), I know.” He breathed out.

Before he could stop himself, he was lifting his hand to stroke his thumb across her cheek— letting his palm rest on your jaw.

Your eyes fluttered shut from his touch for a second, before they opened and gazed deeply into his. His eyes shined with something unusual— something you had yet to see coming from his eyes. You felt intimidated from the intensity that was his gaze— the way your stomach fluttered nervously. You felt the same urge as before, your body leaning instinctively closer to him— you felt so safe in his arms, you couldn't help yourself from wanting to sink deeper into the ocean that was him.

"(Y/n)..." His voice broke through your trance, "Maybe we shouldn't."

God he wanted to slap himself for even voicing those words, because he so badly wanted to devour you whole— loosen every thread that was tied on you— unlocking every inch and part of you that he didn't know he craved. But the sensible side of him knew it wasn't the right moment... right?

You were so vulnerable, it felt wrong for him to even steal a glance in the wrong way when your walls were crumbled before him. He didn't want you to think for even a second that he was taking advantage of you. He respected you greatly, and he was not going to allow himself to have no self restraint. He wanted you to be in full control— and even then he felt hesitant to let you continue. The kiss on his cheek from before, he felt he hadn't deserved that— earned that. He was greedy however— and took any breadcrumbs he could.

You only darted your eyes down to his lips, watching his tongue poke out to wet them— your eyes watching the pink dampen the plump flesh. You found yourself biting your own lip— a sudden craving intensifying at the sight.

Despite your desires, you leaned forward and placed another kiss to his stubbled cheek— this time letting your lips linger on the skin longer than the last. Bucky could feel the heat rush to his face, knowing his cheeks were most likely bright red. He didn't know how he held so much power, but the feel of your lips against his cheek— god he wanted to kiss you so badly.

You sent him a small smile, and he could almost see the real you finally coming to light. The sight had his heart swelling, his own lips curving up in a cheerful smile— relived to see his girl coming back.

"Thank you James— I don't know what I'd do without you." You whispered, holding his gaze with hidden devotion. "I need you."

He had to fight back the huge smile he felt approaching from your words— he tried to ignore the bubbling joy he felt from your words. The way you needed him just as he needed you.

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thisisourlovestory · 3 months

Text

It’s Nice to Have a Friend

part 2- the chronicles of a stargirl and her sun masterlist

Luke Castellan x reader

Summary- the first full day at camp where slight drama unfolds and you make a new friend

Word count- 5.4k

Notes- thank you @imaginingmoonlight again for the vibe (I don’t know what else to call it) and I’d also like to say that I was actually inspired to write this series by @tangledinlove because the killerverse is amazing and I love it so also thanks to her otherwise I wouldn’t have done this.

Taglist:

@abbersreads @tenshis-cake

“We've just got to find out what you're good at first.” Annabeth explained as you walked beside her. “It might be that you are just really bad at using weapons but don't feel bad. You barely nicked him and he was standing in the wrong place so it was technically his own fault.” You winced.

“I didn't mean to, I swear, it just kinda slipped out of my hand before I was ready.” Annabeth grinned.

“At least you know to never try to throw a javelin when we do sports unless you want to skewer someone.” You glared at her.

“I'm glad someone is enjoying my embarrassment. I could have killed him! And then what would happen? Besides, I don't think that helped my prospects of making any friends here other than you.” She waved a dismissive hand.

“You'll make friends. It's just that you're new and the circumstances were interesting to say the least. Also it is spring so there are way less people here than there will be in summer.” You sent her an unimpressed look.

“You can't talk. Everyone loves you. I'll bet even Mr D doesn't hate you as much as the rest of us.”

“That is a lie. Plenty of campers don't like me.”

“Oh really? Name one.” You crossed your arms over your chest as she struggled to answer. “Didn't think so.” You said smugly as she stuck her tongue out.

“We've got to get to the armoury. It's time to try out sword fighting.” You paled.

“Can we not skip it?”

“Not a chance.”

Annabeth rummaged through a pile of swords. Occasionally picking one up to show to you and immediately putting it back down at your face. You wandered around the armoury, glancing every once in a while at Annabeth to check she hadn't cut herself accidentally. Finally she emerged from the pile, holding a sword triumphantly above her head.

“This one is perfect.” She held it out and you gingerly took it. The bronze blade was sharp and shining, the smooth metal cold to the touch.

“I don't see why I can't just use my knife.” She sighed.

“Because it's not made of celestial bronze so it won't kill monsters. Now get out there, I'll be out in a moment to teach you some stuff.” You trudged out and took your place on the sawdust, swinging the sword from side to side, letting the tip brush the floor lightly. Annabeth followed out quickly and got into position.

“Just try and land a hit on me.” You gaped at her.

“You want me to try and hit you?” She shrugged.

“It's a good way to test if you have a natural ability for sword fighting” Without warning she swung her sword forward and you lifted your own to block the blow.

“Not bad.” She swung again and you stumbled back slightly to avoid the hit.

“So I just kinda,” You swept the sword in front of you and Annabeth jumped back to avoid it, “Actually I think that works.” Annabeth slashed her blade through the air and you ducked, sweeping your own out in a wide arc, hitting her ankles with the flat side of the blade. She hissed at the sting and narrowed her eyes as you rose up and smiled. She rained down a flurry of blows on you and you blocked each one as well as you could, ending up with a multitude of tiny nicks on your arms. You rolled onto the floor to dodge a particularly well aimed stab headed straight for your neck and twirled the sword in the air before thrusting it forward to just under her chin. Annabeth’s eyes widened in shock before a grin took over her face.

“Not bad, but-” She grabbed the hilt of your sword and twisted, forcing you to let go and allowing her to poke you lightly in the stomach. “I win.” She handed you back the sword and you stabbed it into the ground. “Rule number one is never let up your guard, always be expecting an attack. It’s what keeps you alive. But for your first time you did pretty good. Better than most, and with a little training you’ll be able to beat me.” You hummed.

“Maybe. But the sword feels…wrong in my hands. Like I shouldn’t be holding it.” Annabeth frowned.

“We do still need to try out some other weapons. You might like them more.” She turned and walked back to the armoury, gesturing for you to follow her. “You’re doing archery later but for now grab some knives or daggers and try to throw them at those targets over there.” You did as she instructed and gathered a collection of bronze knives, carrying them over to a bench and dumping them on it with a clatter. You squinted at a target, judging how far the distance was and picked up one of the knives.

“Wait for me before you throw them.” Annabeth started but you had already tossed it up into the air allowing it to spin and then caught it and threw it full speed across the room. In a blur it hit dead centre. Annabeth looked at you surprised. “I guess you can throw.” You were already throwing more knives at the other targets, each one making a dull thudding as they hit home in the bullseye. You huffed and pushed your hair out of your eyes as you finished, sweat dripping from your brow, eyes sparkling with exhilaration.

“That. Was. Amazing!.” You exclaimed and twirled on the spot. “Did you see that? It was so cool.” She nodded, calculating, but you didn't notice. Too caught up in your own achievement.

“Yeah those throws were scary accurate for a beginner.”

“I think we've found what I'm good at.” She laughed.

“Not so fast, you've still gotta try out archery. And Luke is helping with that. He couldn't help now cause he had to supervise the climbing wall. Make sure nobody gets burned alive that kind of stuff. But he's taking you for your first archery lesson later, responsibilities that come with being head counsellor of the Hermes cabin. That and none of the current Apollo kids stay year round yet.” She rambled and you watched with an amused smile. “Anyway we have to get going for lunch, since it's not summer and there's not so many people we don't have to sit at designated tables like usual, if we did most people would literally just be sitting by themselves and that's just sad.” Your stomach rumbled and you glared down at it before looking up at her sheepishly.

“I'm apparently incredibly hungry so please lead the way.” She rolled her eyes and discarded her sword in a pile, kicked open the door and began the fairly long walk to the mess hall. You both trudged past the cabins where all the other campers were also starting to walk to the mess hall. There weren't many at all, about twenty across all twelve cabins, chattering happily to one another as they walked in a clump. Everyone sat down on random benches, presumably with their friends, and piled the food that appeared on the tables onto their plates in mountains.

There was a varied selection of food, all stacked in heaps so they filled up all the available space, there was something for everyone. Breads, cheeses and cuts of meat spread out for a buffet style meal, pots of soup, bowls with all kinds of pasta, rice and meat coated in sticky sweet sauces. There were even baskets stacked with fresh fruit surrounded by tiny bite sized sweets covered in sugar. Annabeth grabbed some food for herself and picked up some meat from a pile that stained her fingers red.

“Try this it's good, It's beef marinated in some random sauce and then cooked on the barbecue. Nobody actually knows what's in the sauce but it's kinda spicy.” She paused thoughtfully. “And it has garlic in it. I think.” She licked her fingers, getting rid of the red stain as you followed her advice and plated some of the beef along with rice and a warm bread roll dripping with butter. Annabeth immediately made her way over to the fire and dropped some food into it, you snatched up a bunch of grapes and followed suit. As the grapes fell into the flames you shut your eyes and bent your neck slightly.

“Hi, it's me, again. I don't know who you are but could you maybe send a sign or something. It couldn't hurt. Could it?” You mumbled and straightened up as smoke rose into the air smelling like every kind of food you could ever imagine.

“I really can see why they like burnt food.” You stated as you sat down next to Annabeth at a table. “It smells annoyingly good.” You took a bite of food. “And that's delicious as well.” She smiled, taking a bite of her own food.

“Told you so.” You both ate in silence, too occupied with savouring every bite that you forgot to ask any questions. All too soon the lunch break was over and Annabeth was directing you to the archery field.

“So you basically just follow the path past the Big House and he said he'd be waiting for you there and if you got lost he'd go and find you.” She turned around as someone called her name and yelled back. “Give me a minute.” She looked back at you. “Have fun and I'll see you later at dinner.” She spun on her heel and ran off as you did the same and walked in the opposite direction.

You hummed quietly to yourself as you walked through the woods, the trees shading you from the sun. Dust from the path floated in the air as you kicked the stones from it and into the grass, other campers passed you once or twice, attempting to whisper to each other about you and failing as their voices rang out like foghorns through the otherwise silent trees. You passed the Big House and caught Chiron watching. You waved slightly and continued without waiting to see if he responded. After a few more minutes of walking you arrived at the archery field to see the targets lined up and a selection of bows laid on the grass ready for use. You looked around and saw nobody. Not a single soul in sight. He's probably just running late, you thought, Annabeth said he was head of the Hermes cabin though so he must be busy taking care of something. So you waited. You sat down on the damp floor and fiddled around, picking blades of grass and twisting them around your fingers as tightly as possible before they snapped, plucking daisies, weaving them into a crown and placing it on your head. You even resorted to picking up one of the bows, subsequently snapping the string across your hand and leaving a raised red line across the palm of it. Then you settled back down, made yourself comfortable and placed your chin in your hand. You hadn't meant to fall asleep but the night before had been almost sleepless, tossing and turning in an unfamiliar bed with unfamiliar people in some of the other bunks. So you somehow ended up drifting off with the warm heat of the sun on your back and a cool breeze blowing across your face.

You woke up just as suddenly as you had fallen asleep, an owl hooted softly and you realised it was growing dark. The sun almost completely set in the horizon, only a thin sliver of light peeking out from behind the trees. You got to your feet and began the march up to the cabins. It was most definitely too late for dinner but you remembered Annabeth mentioning there was a campfire tonight. You followed the smoke rising in the distance and the faint glow of the flames, tripping over the occasional dip in the ground and sliding over the grass. Shortly, you arrived at the campfire and Annabeth spotted you almost immediately, jumping to her feet and running over.

“Where were you?” She asked, an accusatory tone to her voice and a frown on her face. “I couldn't find you anywhere. And what is that in your hair?”

“I don't want to talk about it.” You mumbled, sitting down and reaching out for a stick; shoving a marshmallow onto it then holding it above the fire to toast.

“Did you suck at archery?” You laughed half heartedly at her question.

“I wouldn't know yet Annabeth.” She tilted her head and studied you puzzled before a look of understanding passed over her face.

“He didn't teach you any archery.”

“He didn't even bother to show up.” You corrected, pulling the marshmallow out of reach from the fire and blowing on it slightly as you grabbed two chocolate covered biscuits with the other hand and mashed the marshmallow between them. The chocolate melted, mixing with the gooey melted mess of marshmallow. You lifted it to your mouth and took a bite.

“And I don’t care at the moment. I just want to eat my smore. I forgot how good they were, do you want one?”

“No I already had some. I’ve been meaning to ask you, where did you get that hoodie from?”

“Oh it was waiting for me yesterday when I woke up. Probably just a spare one from lost and found since my clothes were ruined.”

“Right, lost and found.” Annabeth sat still for a second then grabbed your hand and dragged you around the campfire to the opposite side despite your protests.

“Why are you so freakishly strong?”

“I am not freakishly strong! And that hoodie, not from lost and found.” She stopped in her tracks as you looked at her confused.

“Huh.”

“Never mind, it’s just a hoodie. Now I have to have a little chat with Luke.” She continued to drag you until you both stood directly in front of him.

“Hey Annabeth.” Luke greeted her with a grin as he stopped talking to the people sitting around him. “What's up?”

“What's up?” She seethed. “What's up is I asked you to help earlier and you didn't want to so I pretty much begged until you said yes because I had something important on.” She took a deep breath and tears filled her eyes. “And then you didn't even do what you said you would.”

“Annabeth…”

“No don't,” She interrupted, “I don't know what exactly your problem is with Y/N since you seemed fine with her last night when she woke up but you're going to sort it out right now.” She punctuated her sentence by pushing you down next to him.

“Can we have a minute.” Luke said to the others and they all obliged, walking over to other people laughing and sneaking peeks back. “Annabeth, seriously why would you think I have a problem with Y/N?”

“You didn't want to help her, you made up fake excuses to get out of it and then you agreed but didn't follow through. So you have some kind of problem otherwise you wouldn't have done any of that.” She crossed her arms and you spoke up.

“Annabeth it's fine, really it's fine. I don't mind if Luke doesn't like me. It's not a big deal.”

“It's a big deal to me! I want you to be friends. And you'll be really good friends I swear. So can you sort out whatever is wrong and get along please. Ask each other some questions, get to know each other better. Say twenty each?” With that she ran back to the other side of the campfire to her siblings leaving you both staring after her in shock. After a moment Luke broke the silence.

“Where did you come here from?” You blinked and answered slowly.

“I lived in the UK until I was eight then moved to the USA because my parents got a job offer.” His eyes sharpened.

“Parents?”

“Yeah. I was adopted, I don't know who my real parents were. Suppose I might find out who one of them is someday though. How about you?”

“Grew up in Connecticut, ran away when I was nine.” You stared at him vaguely shocked. From everything you had heard from Annabeth, Luke was the golden boy and he had run away from home. It was hard to believe but the bitter look in his eyes quickly changed your mind.

“When you were nine. So you were homeless for how long?” He shrugged.

“Five years. But I'm here now, and I've got Annabeth and my half siblings.” You hummed and shuffled around on the log, crossing your legs and leaning forward on your hands facing him.

“How did you meet Annabeth?”

“Just before we arrived at camp, we were walking down an alley and she jumps out and almost knocks my head in with a hammer.” He laughed slightly. “We took her in and then we got here.” You tilted your head.

“We?” His expression changed immediately. “Don't want to talk about it. Got it.” He looked at you.

“Annabeth is my little sister. Not by blood but by choice. We’re family and it seems she wants you to be part of our family.”

“You are very close to each other having known each other for so little time.” He smiled slightly.

“I would say she’s easy to like but that’s not entirely true.”

“Yes she can be quite intense at times. And I’ve only known her a day, can’t imagine what she must be like once you’ve known her a bit longer than that.” You grinned at him and tilted your head. “Must be unbearable.”

“You get used to it. Annabeth is Annabeth, she’s smarter than everyone, always six steps ahead of everyone else, she’s an incredible fighter and along with that she’s stubborn as a mule. But I wouldn’t change anything about her because then she wouldn’t be Annabeth.” He sighed and rested his elbows on his knees, holding his clasped hands in front of him.

“I am sorry I missed your archery lesson. I didn’t mean to I just got caught up practising.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Practising what?”

“Sword fighting. I’m supposed to be the best swordsman in three hundred years and I need to practise if I ever want to go on a quest.” You hummed noncommittally.

“I suppose that makes sense.”

You turned to look at the fire. The flames a bright yellow, dancing up into the sky, twisting and turning, bright against the darkness of the night. Your eyes followed the smoke, whispers of grey spiralling up, up, up into the atmosphere.

“I can give you the lesson now if you’d like.” Your eyes widened in surprise as you turned to face him.

“You would?”

“It’s the least I can do to make up for skipping out on you earlier.” He quickly stood up and held out his hand. “Coming?” You smiled brightly and grabbed his hand.

“Lead the way Castellan.”

“Remind me why we're in the armoury again.”

“You need a good bow before you can shoot right. So here we are.” He raised his hands and turned in a circle. “Take your pick.” You rummaged through the bows, picking one up occasionally to inspect it. There were so many different styles, some smaller, some larger, some metal, some wooden, some decorated and ornate; others as plain as could be. The difference between being inconspicuous and wanting to show off. You stepped over to a crate and pushed off the lid, letting it fall on the ground with a bang. You shuffled through the few bows stored in the crate, disgust filling your face at the ostentatious designs.

“Do people just use these to look cool?”

“Some of the Apollo kids definitely do. But they can shoot with any bow and make the shot so it doesn’t really matter to them.” He picked one up and held it out. “This one looks like it’d fit you.” You scrunched your nose.

“It’s too…much. Yeah, it’s too much.” You slid over to another rack and pulled some off.

“I’m not sure if I’ll ever find…” Your voice trailed off as you picked one up from the very back, pulling it out of the pile that it was buried under. The bow was a smooth crescent, dipping in the middle, covered with strips of leather, with slightly curved ends, pointed and dipped in silver. The wood was engraved with miniature flowers and vines, each petal painted delicately with faded colours of red, blue and purple, the vines thin lines of green weaving through them. Your fingers floated over them, tracing each petal's outline with a look of wonderment on your face.

“Well how about this one?” You snapped your head up quickly, holding the bow close to your body, Luke raised his eyebrows. “You good?” You cleared your throat.

“This one. This is the one.”

“Are you sure? This one,” He waved the one in his hand in the air,”Is particularly nice and actually new, made only a couple of days ago.” You regarded the one he was holding with disdain. It was plain, nothing that made it stand out. It could not have been more unlike the one you held tightly in one hand, fingers flexing around the leather grip.

“No. This is the one, it’s perfect.” He sighed.

“Alright then, I’m not going to argue with you. Follow me.” He walked outside with you behind and stood in front of a target, illuminated by the dim light from torches lit up around the edge of the field. He steadied an arrow. “You pull back, straighten your aim and release.” He let go and the arrow landed just outside the bullseye. “Your turn.” You fiddled with the bow, stroking the leather nervously and tapping the sharp silver capped ends. He smirked teasingly. “Come on then. Or are you scared you won’t be good enough at it.” You scoffed and stomped over to him, grabbing an arrow and nocking it, pulling the string taut to your cheek and narrowing your eyes at the target.

“First of all, you’ll never hit the target like that. Lift your elbow. And widen your stance.” You shuffled your feet. “No, not quite. May I?” You nodded. “You need to just,” He moved behind you and placed one hand on your waist, the other on your arm and kicked one of your feet to the side, “That’s better. Now,” He lifted your elbow up. “Fire.” He whispered in your ear, his warm breath grazing your skin. You sucked in a deep breath and let the arrow fly. You squeezed your eyes shut as it shot through the air and hit the target with a dull thud.

“Well look at that.” Luke murmured behind you.

“What is it Castellan?”

“Why don’t you open your eyes and see for yourself.” You hesitantly opened them and looked disbelievingly at the target, the arrow sitting in the middle of the bullseye. You took a double take, looking back at Luke and then back to the target.

“I did that? Me?” You whispered and Luke chucked quietly.

“Yeah you did but let’s try again. This time by yourself. Make sure it wasn’t just my expert skills that made you shoot like that on your first try.” He nodded to the target and you nocked another arrow, pulling back the string to your cheek with ease and letting it loose quickly, sending the arrow flying and splitting the wood of the previous one as it lodged just between the feathers.

“Not just your expert skills apparently.” His lips twitched upwards.

“Perhaps not, but I will need more proof.”

“Then I will give you some.” With that you fired a volley of arrows, each one landing so they formed a star when you finished. You stared proudly at your work. “How’s that for your proof?”

“That's pretty hard proof. You must be a natural at archery and my teachings clearly have nothing to do with it.”

“Your teachings have something to do with it. You got me that first shot. I’m just a quick learner, and lobbing things at targets is apparently my thing now.” You dropped the bow down carefully in the grass and turned around to look at him and added as an afterthought. “Except for spears. That did not go well.”

“I heard.” You winced and twiddled your thumbs.

“Yeah. Anyway thank you for this, you really didn’t have to.” He shrugged.

“Like I said, I wanted to make up for this afternoon and giving you a late lesson seemed the best way to do it.” You rolled your eyes at his words and threw yourself down on the ground, unbothered by the damp soil. Your hands rested on your stomach and the longer pieces of grass ticked your ears as you gazed up at the sky, the stars twinkled above, shining brightly like miniature diamonds. They decorated the night, small pockets of light in the deep blue sky, soon to give way to pure blackness but the stars would still be there.

You felt Luke lay down next to you and heard him ask you a question.

“What’s your favourite colour?”

“What?” You asked back, turning to look at him.

“Your favourite colour. Annabeth said we should get to know each other so what’s your favourite colour?” You stared at him for a second and found nothing but truth in his eyes.

“I’m not sure,” You paused for a moment, “I like green a lot though. It’s pretty and there are so many different shades of it, some are more blue like the sea and others are more the colour of the trees. But you can find traces of green everywhere and I think that’s why I like it, it's not just some obscure colour that you can only find in clothes. It’s all around us, you’ve just got to look for it” You stopped, slightly out of breath. “Sorry, you weren’t really looking for that kind of long winded explanation were you.”

“No I don’t mind, it was interesting. Besides, I've heard longer explanations from Annabeth about why she had nutella on her toast in the morning rather than her usual jam.” You tipped your head to the side and laughed.

“And what was the reason for that exactly?”

“The first time she did it I believe she spouted some nonsense about it being high in fibre as well as having iron and calcium in it and also would give her more energy to deal with, as she put it, incompetent fools. However every other time she's done it she just gives me a look as if I'm completely stupid.” You muffled a snort at his indignant tone.

“She sounds like a middle aged woman called Susan or something. And for the record you are stupid.”

“I always thought she was more of a Theresa but each to their own and I’m not stupid at all thank you very much.” You snorted again and quickly covered it with a cough, composing yourself as he smiled smugly at the reaction he managed to pull out of you.

“So anyway, what’s your favourite colour?” You asked, shifting slightly to look at him better.

“Blue, a really clear bright blue, like the sky in summer, electric blue almost.” He answered decisively and you tapped your fingers together in thought.

“And how old are you?”

“Fifteen, you?”

“Fourteen. Why do you want to go on a quest so badly?”

“I need to prove that I'm a hero. And going on a quest is the only way I can do that.”

“Is it?” He faced you with a look of disbelief.

“Yes, if I go on a quest I'm a hero because I get glory from it, you don't get glory from sitting around at camp doing nothing. You have to fight for it so I need to go on a quest.”

“Right, sorry.” You murmured and looked back up at the sky, head resting on your crossed arms. “The stars are beautiful aren’t they.” You muttered. “I find it hard to believe they can only be found in such distant planes of the universe when we can see them right there in front of us.” You lifted a hand and traced a kind of w shape in the sky. “That’s Cassiopeia, the Queen, you probably already know this but she was the mother of Andromeda and was forced to sacrifice her to a sea monster due to her own pride when she boasted her beauty was greater than that of the sea nymphs.” You pointed to another cluster of stars. “And that’s Ursa Major,” You moved your finger again, “And that’s Virgo, the Maiden.”

“How do you know those constellations?” Luke asked quietly.

“My dad.” You smiled. “He taught me all the constellations and we would go stargazing together in the country whenever he had a free night. The first time he took me was when I was three and he said I asked for food every two minutes, after that he would always bring a picnic, sandwiches, carrot sticks, biscuits and little slices of cake with tea or hot chocolate in a thermos so I would never get hungry. And we would lie on a blanket and watch the stars, pointing out all the constellations we saw and naming whatever stars we could. On special occasions he would bring his telescope and let me use it so that I could see everything that was happening as closely as possible.”

“He sounds nice.”

“Yeah he is,” You whispered, “He really is.” You both went silent for a while, simply gazing up at the stars in peace and quiet, comfortable in each other's company.

After a while Luke stood up.

“We should get going, everyone will already be sleeping by now and we can tidy this all up first thing tomorrow.” You sat up and took his offered hand, allowing him to pull you to your feet.

“Thanks.” You leant down to scoop up your new bow. “I can take this back can't I?”

“It's yours.” He answered simply as he started to walk to the cabins with you hurrying to walk next to him.

“Thanks again for, y’know.” He glanced down at you.

“You don't need to keep thanking me, it was my fault for not showing up earlier. I was just making good on my promise to Annabeth.”

“Yeah but still, I appreciate it. Other people wouldn't have done what you just did.” You reached the semicircle of cabins and took a step into the Hermes one before you realised Luke wasn't following. You turned your head back to look at him only to find him looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

“What is it? Do I have something on my face?” You slapped your cheek lightly.

“No you just-” He stepped forwards and righted something on your head, brushing the hair back from your face in the process. “Your flowers were falling off stargirl.”

“Oh.” You breathed out, a hand rising to feel the flowers. “Thank you, I forgot I had them, I thought they would've fallen off earlier.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Stargirl?” He shrugged and offered a simple explanation before walking past you into the cabin.

“It suits you.” You smiled and made your way to your bed, quickly grabbing a top and pair of pyjama shorts before running to change into them behind the private screen set up in the corner of the cabin and then bouncing into bed. You lay there for a minute, staring up at the wooden ceiling, before you turned to face the empty bed next to you.

“Hey Castellan.” You whispered loudly and from the other side of the room he answered.

“What is it stargirl?”

“Are we friends now?”

“Nah, we're best friends stargirl, I don’t just teach anyone archery in the middle of the night. and don't think you can get out of this easily, best friends are for life.” You smiled into the darkness at the joking tone in his voice and answered with a hint of laughter.

“Wouldn't dream of it. I gotta say, it's nice to have a friend.” You hurriedly added, “Other than Annabeth and Maisie,” And turned over to the other side, “Goodnight Castellan.” You said and burrowed deep into the duvet. The last thing you heard was a soft laugh and Luke's voice saying.

“Goodnight stargirl, sleep well.”

Light pink sky up on the roof Sun sinks down, no curfew Twenty questions, we tell the truth You've been stressed out lately? Yeah me too

#luke castellan x you #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan #percy jackon and the olympians #annabeth chase #taylor swift lyrics #pjo tv show #pjotv x reader #pjo x reader

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sweatervest-obsessed · 9 months

Text

Dedicated To New Lovers

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)

WC: ~5.5k

TW: Murder, Angst, Character Death, guns, violence, blood, swearing, depression, mentions of disordered eating, mentions of insomnia, self-deprecating thoughts, loneliness, heartbreak, Mentions of Emily's death, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, sobbing, throwing up, being under pressure

A/N: This is based on s8 ep12, Zugzwang. It deviates slightly but still makes Spencer sob so it could basically be canon. Obviously, or maybe not to some people, this fic is based off of Night Shift by Lucy Dacus. It's been my obsession for the past couple weeks and I simply just had to write something for it. Now my one issue is, besides me ignoring editing it, is that I hate when things don't end happily, but I'm breaking out of the mold of everything ending with a nice neat little bow, so please enjoy! (well as much as you can for such a depressing fic lmao).

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life alone ---We find it with another." ~Thomas Merton.

“Thank you for such a wonderful night.” You murmured, pulling away from the kiss, hands on their chest. “I really enjoyed it Spe—”, you coughed and blinked a couple of times, catching yourself. “Especially,” You clutched your chest, smiling up at them, “Sorry I don’t know where that just came from.”

The lips you had just kissed had shifted into a concerned smile, but was none the wiser.

“Especially dessert. I loved the pie place, you were so right! The apple was just perfectly seasoned, and the crust was still crumbly.” You leaned up and kissed their cheek again.

“I’ll see you again, yeah?” You whispered, before turning around and heading into your apartment building, not waiting for a response, smile falling the second you weren’t looking at them. You buzzed yourself in and quickly walked up the four flights of stairs towards your door.

You fucking hated pie. Well that wasn’t true, but you didn’t really want to spend your evening going and getting pie with someone you really weren’t that into.

You couldn’t help but wonder why everything was wrong. They were kind, and sweet, and cared so much for you, but it just wasn’t the same. Your heart was just not in the place, and not a single butterfly fluttered around in your stomach, you couldn’t figure out what was wrong with you.

Well that was a lie too. You knew exactly what was wrong.

“I’m fine, it’s fine.” You mumbled, getting your keys out and unlocking your front door, grabbing the mail off of the mat, and closing the door behind you.

The boxes stacked precariously around your place just left you feeling more and more destitute on this island of loneliness. God you were so fucking dramatic. You dumped the roses they had given you, and your purse onto the kitchen counter, and went straight for the fridge, grabbing the bottle of Prosecco. The cork popped, and you took a swig straight from the bottle.

Your phone rang, and you pulled it out of your pocket, sighing and answering it.

“Hey Em.”

“Wow, was it that bad of a date?” Emily laughed a little. She had been concerned about you, the whole team had been concerned about you. Her death had hit you and Spencer the hardest. You had become fast friends with Emily, regardless of the fact that when she joined, you were the youngest, and newest on the team as well. The two of you had become fast friends, and even faster sisters. She was your everything. She was there for your father’s death, the start of your relationship with Spencer, the harder cases, the bitching, the girls nights, the everything. But you had run into the warehouse, and saw Derek cradling her hand, screaming for a medic, and you just lost it. Your brain went into overdrive, rendering you useless. When JJ walked into the waiting room and told all of you the news, you sat there, shocked. Spencer had tried to go see her, but you had just excused yourself and walked out to the parking lot. It was devastating. You were allowed back from leave a week later than everyone else because Hotch knew you needed more time. So when she walked back into the round room, alive and well, your barely pieced together mind completely shattered all over again.

You watched for seven months as Spencer let you grieve alone while running off to JJ’s house for comfort. You had sat alone in your shared apartment becoming more and more of a shell of a person, not really eating, sleeping, or even drinking water; you were barely existing. Five years of a relationship washed away because that first night, instead of comforting each other, Spencer had abandoned you at the hospital, forgetting to even drive you home. Then, when his headaches got, he pulled even further away, only hearing snippets of how he was doing from those on the team who didn’t even live with him.

The team could only watch as you slowly became a ghost of yourself, while Spencer couldn’t even give a shit to notice.

The first time he mentioned Maeve to you, it was like a stake in your chest. You had caught him talking to her when you had come back early from the therapy Hotch had almost threatened you at gunpoint to go to. He quickly hung up the phone and mentioned that she was his doctor, helping him with his headaches. But you knew better. You had heard him laughing before you walked into the apartment. You hadn’t heard him laugh since before Emily had “died”.

Then, one night, he told you it was over. I don’t love you anymore.

You just sat there, chest caving in on yourself.

Since this was my place first, uh…I can give you a couple of weeks to find a place, and I’ll even sleep on the couch…

His words bounced around in your head before Emily said your name. “You disappeared on me.”

“Shit-uh, shit. Sorry Em.” You shook your head, and pinched your brow. “They were really lovely Em, just the best. But I’m just not ready.”

Emily sighed, “I know it’s only been four months but I’m proud of you, I really am. For even going out in the first place. Want me to come over, bring a new bottle of prosecco.”

You laughed, but it had no substance. “How’d you know I was almost out of Prosecco.”

Emily sighed. “I know you’re a grown woman who can handle living alone, but Sergio and I wouldn’t have minded if you stayed with us for a couple more weeks.”

“And I know that, and I love you so much for it, but the only way I’m ever going to be able to…” the words got stuck in your throat. “I, um. I had to.”

Emily sighed, but understood. “Okay, well, if you need anything, I’m a phone call away, or a block away, whichever is faster for you.”

“Thanks Emily. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that you hung up the phone, not wanting to prolong the conversation any more than it had.

“Fucking Maeve.” You grumbled to the living room before taking another swig from the bottle. You barely slept these days. Your date this past night? The first time you had eaten a full meal in over two weeks. Your skin was a little more gaunt, and the concealer you were using was working overtime to hide the bags under your eyes. You were once someone filled with so much joy, and so much love to give. Everyone knew you were a touchy person, always giving hugs, touching people’s arms, squeezing their hands; if someone tried to touch you now, your whole body would tense up, your stomach would flip. Eventually, after finishing off the bottle, you fell into a restless sleep on the couch of your apartment, since you didn’t want to sleep alone in your own mattress, dreaming about the fact that someone else was probably in the one you bought with Spencer all those years ago when he asked you to live with him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

The office went silent as you walked into work the next morning. You were always one to arrive early, make your coffee, visit Penelope in the Bat Cave, stop by Hotch and Rossi’s offices and wish them a good morning. But these days you walked through those glass doors exactly at 9 am, unless you were called in.

It was masochistic to still work at the BAU, but it was one dream you weren’t going to let Spencer take away from you. But as you walked into the bullpen, and all heads turned towards you with such pitiful looks, you doubted whether you belonged here anymore.

Before you could place your bag down, Aaron walked over to you and quietly asked if you would come into his office. You obliged, a sinking feeling in your gut, as you followed Hotch, while the eyes of everyone else followed you.

As Hotch opened the door, you froze. Spencer was sitting on the couch, trying to wipe away the tears in his eyes. He clearly also hadn’t been sleeping, but you knew those tears weren’t for you. You stayed in the doorway until Hotch gestured to one of the chairs along the side of his office. You moved away from the door, but stayed standing, refusing to sit down. Hotch closed the door, trapping you in his office with someone you hadn’t spoken more than necessary to in over four months.

“Do you want to tell me why I'm here.” You asked calmly, trying to ignore the desperate man on the couch, who was just staring down at his feet.

“I am going to ask you to sit out this case.” Hotch looked at you, not sitting down either, ready to calm down whatever fight you’re about to put up.

Your eyes narrowed at your section chief and you scoffed. “You better have a seriously good explanation Hotch because as I’ve told you many times before, I’m doing fine. I don’t know what has been said, but I’m perfectly capable at—”

“I asked him if you could sit out.” Spencer’s voice was hoarse, but solid as he looked at you.

You closed your eyes and flexed one of your hands, resisting the urge to punch him in the teeth.

“Since when do you know what’s best for me, Doctor Reid.” It took all of your control to stay civil and not curse him out in front of your boss.

“That’s not it.” Spencer licked his lips but he quickly averted his gaze. “T-The case. It’s um. It’s about Maeve and I–”

Your heart dropped. Bile started to rise in your throat. “oh.” You had never felt so small in your life. Tears were forming in your eyes. “I’ll be right…I—”

You barely even finished the thought before you opened the door, and quickly walked out of Hotch’s office. No one even tried to pretend that they weren’t watching Hotch’s office. Emily and Derek shot up off of their desks and immediately went to follow you as you sped down the stairs and through the bullpen. Hotch just looked down at his feet while Reid just rubbed his hands over his eyes.

You shoved through the doors, accidentally bumping into Penelope on the way out, causing her to drop the files and coffee mug in her hand. It shattered on the ground, but you couldn’t stop to apologize. You needed to be in the bathroom before you became the agent who threw up all over the halls because of some stupid broken heart.

Emily had quickly helped Penelope pick things up, the two exchanging hushed whispers and looks. Derek had apologized to Penelope while he ran past, catching up to you with every stride. You shoved open the door to one of the woman’s rooms, Derek right behind you.

Luckily for you, it was empty, so you could continue running to the biggest stall, before dropping to your knees and throwing up. It burned your throat and your eyes, stinging every inch of skin as it rose up your throat and into the toilet in front of you.

Derek had pulled back your hair, and was now sitting down next to you as you dry heaved into the toilet. You only threw up actual substance one more time, but it was just that stupid fucking apple pie and the Prosecco from the night before. There was nothing else in your stomach to throw up, so your body settled for making you gag continuously.

“Fuck.” You cried into the toilet, letting yourself fully devolve into the mess you were destined to become this morning.

Derek just rubbed your back, “It’s okay pretty girl, let it all out.”

“Derek Morgan I think I am the ugliest son of a bitch right now.” You mumbled, reaching up and flushing the contents down the drain, tears still racing down your face. “I can’t fucking—” You tried to breathe in but your body was shutting down. That’s all it seemed to do these days. It felt like the only way to protect yourself anymore. “He–”

“I know.” He whispered softly, offering you some toilet paper to let you wipe off your face, as you leaned back, away from the toilet.

That’s when the first sob wracked your body. Maybe you weren’t meant to be on this team anymore. Spencer had been here longer. You were only an asset to the team because of your positive attitude which left your body the second Emily Prentiss was pronounced dead in that waiting room. You were the definition of useless. I mean, Derek and Emily were partners, Hotch and Rossi had everything down pat, and Spencer, even when you were dating, was truly partnered with JJ most of the time. You were the odd man out, and you were fucking useless.

Derek had pulled you into his chest, hugging you as the sobs continued. His heart was breaking for you. No one on the team really knew what had happened that night, all they knew was that you didn’t come in one day, and then when you did the next, you looked like shit. All while Spencer seemed fine. Then, when your desk was moved to the opposite side of the bullpen, it confirmed any and all guesses the profilers had been making. You were never paired with him on cases anymore, and if you were, there was always a third person. You barely looked at one another. Spencer’s scarf had reappeared on his desk one morning, and suddenly you were no longer staying in the same hotel rooms. Derek just kissed your head as you let your body give up.

He wasn’t stupid. Like everyone else, he had noticed the way you had been losing weight. He had noticed the amount of makeup you had started to wear. He even realized that he hadn’t seen you eat any meals with them in the past couple months while they were out on cases. But what he hadn’t fully realized was the fact that you were dead, inside and out. There was nothing left of you but the barely alive body he was holding.

Spencer had really gotten a good look at you for the first time in a very long time. He had already felt guilty about the fact that he had Maeve, and that you had broken up he had broken your heart. But what he had failed to realize was the same thing Derek had–You were someone entirely different, a ghost of yourself. The guilt was gnawing through his stomach when he told Hotch what was going on, and he had begged Hotch to let you sit out, trying to save you from this, but clearly Spencer couldn’t do anything right for you anymore, he hadn’t been able to in a very long time. Hotch had cleared his throat while Spencer shook his head. “I-I tried Hotch, I really didn’t want…”

He just nodded at Spencer. “I know Reid, but you must have known there was no way this conversation was going to go any better than that.”

Reid just nodded, and stood up, going out into the bullpen, not missing the way all of their eyes snapped to him, as Penelope dumped her broken mug into the trash.

Before anyone could say anything, Hotch walked out of his office and looked at everyone. “As you all could have guessed, Agent Y/L/N will not be joining us on this case. I expect everyone in the conference room in ten.” and with that, Hotch walked past Reid, and down the stairs, out towards where he had assumed you had run off too.

Spencer just stood on the stairs, watching Hotch walk to you, wishing it could be him to hold you in his arms.

Hotch opened the door to the women’s bathroom, and saw Derek cradling you. As you heard the door open, your body had tensed up and all of your tears had stopped. Derek and Hotch shared a look before Hotch kneeled down.

“Sorry Aaron.” You mumbled, trying to wipe away the remaining tears on your face.

“Don't apologize. Take the next couple of days off. Penelope might call and ask you a question or two, if she manages to forgive you for breaking her third favorite coffee mug…”

You laughed slightly at his joke, trying not to let it cause you to cry even more, wiping away more tears.

“But I expect you don’t need me to tell you this is an order.”

You nodded at Hotch while you stood up, Derek quickly following suit. “We’re meeting in ten.” He nodded at Derek, who took the hint. He squeezed your arm, and kissed your head, whispering to call him if you needed anything, before leaving just you and Hotch alone in the bathroom. He held up your purse and gave you a sympathetic smile.

“I am only a phone call away Y/n. If anything happens, I want to be the first to know.” He nodded at you, only for you to pull him into a hug. Hotch smiled slightly, because you hadn’t really hugged anyone for a while, so he quickly reciprocated before pulling away. “Hotch, can I ask you one more favor?”

“Anything,” He said softly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once he had left, You grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser and tried to wipe as much of the mascara track marks off. You eventually just wiped off your whole face of makeup. You stared at yourself, realizing just how fucked you were. Eventually, you had made your way out of the bathroom, and past the bullpen. Everyone was piling into the conference room, but Spencer had stopped to watch you enter the elevator, really looking at you. You made eye contact right as the doors started to close. Spencer’s gut twisted at the forlorn look on your face. But before he could do anything, the doors were closed, you were gone, and his name was called by Hotch. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

According to the updates from Emily and Derek, the case was not going well. You knew very little about it, and you wanted to keep it this way, but you knew this case wasn’t going to end well. You could just tell.

You had been existing in your own apartment, making frequent trips to Emily’s to keep your favorite cat company. You would go on long walks as the sun set, nowhere truly in mind, just wandering around trying to think about anything else. You would listen to your music, trying to take your mind off of the man who you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since you first joined the team. It could have been yesterday based on how well you remembered it.

But instead of wallowing, you tried to at least wallow in public, resolving to minimize the sheer amount of pity parties you had been throwing yourself.

Three days later, you had been walking around aimlessly, just trying to hit your new goal of 10,000 steps a day to start being active again, when your phone rang. You had answered it without a thought in the world since usually it was Derek, Hotch, and Emily on the other end.

But this time, it was none of them.

“Hello?” Spencer’s entire body froze once he heard your voice, once he knew that Diane knew who you were.

“I just want her to see one more thing.”

“Hello?” You asked again, just about to hang up, thinking it was some sort of prank call when a woman spoke to you.

“Is this Doctor Y/N Y/L/N?” Maeve looked over at Spencer, confusion and horror in her eyes, while Spencer just stared at the phone, willing for you to hang up.

“Um, yes? May I ask who this is…”

“My name is Diane.”

“Um, okay, Diane. Can I ask why you’re calling me.” You had just walked into your apartment, Spencer could hear the unfamiliar creek of the door as it slammed shut.

“What do you know about Doctor Maeve Donovan.”

Your whole body froze. “What?” barely even whispering out your response.

“What do you know about Maeve.” Her temper exploded, and you just sat there trying to breathe.

“Wh-what do you want to know about her?” You had taken several courses in negotiation, taught by David Rossi himself, so your training started to kick in, but your panic was fighting strongly against it. You just couldn't bring yourself to say her name.

The team was outside of the building, when Garcia had called and tapped them into the phone call Diane was making. When they heard your voice, all of them froze. This was not what she was supposed to do. How the hell did she even know about you?

“I want you to tell me about how she ruined your life.”

Spencer tried to speak but Diane pointed the gun at Maeve, making him go silent. Maeve had started silently crying, unable to believe this is what her life had become.

“I–, You want me to tell you about some woman I have never met?”

“Yes yes yes. Why won’t any of you fucking listen.” You recieved a text on your watch, from Hotch, briefing you on the fact that Diane had both Spencer and Maeve hostage in the warehouse she was calling from.

You took a shaky inhale before biting your lips. “I want to know that they’re both okay Diane. I need to hear both Spencer and M..Maeve speak.” God this was so fucking hard, it hurt so fucking badly.

Diane rolled her eyes before nodding at Maeve. “H-hi.” She whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t—” she was cut off but the barrel of the gun pushed against her head.

All you could do was clutch your fist while she spoke, because you realized you couldn’t be angry at her for falling in love with Spencer, because you had too.

“And Spencer?” Your voice cracked out, desperate to hear his voice.

“Go on Spencer. Tell her you’ve been okay without her.”

Spencer winced and spoke up, dying for you to just hang up the phone. “I’m here Y/N.”

The way he said your name made you want to curl up into a ball and die, but it wasn’t good enough for Diane.

“Not good enough Spencer. Tell her how you ruined her life. She deserves to hear it from you since you broke her just like you broke me for loving the ONE WOMAN I DESERVED TO BE LOVED BY.”

Spencer heard the sharp intake of your breath. He could hear you trying not to cry. After everything, he never wanted to hurt you, but clearly he had fucked himself over and over with every single decision he made. He knew you knew he was playing along with her fantasy, but he knew that you hearing these words would ruin your life more than any gunshot would.

“Tell me Spencer.” You breathed out, knowing if he continued to play along, maybe he could make it out of this alive, regardless of everything that had gone on between the two of you.

“Please.” Spencer turned to Diane. “She has nothing to do with this, let her hang up the ph–”

“If she hangs up, I shoot Maeve and let you watch as she dies.”

And there it was. There was a small, awful part of you that wanted to hang up the phone right then and there. Let him suffer and feel the pain you had been feeling for months and months. Your silence was enough to let Spencer know you were struggling, which hurt him even more because that same small part of him knew he deserved it, forgiveness for you and all.

The team listened to the silence, some of them waiting for the dial tone, others grieving the shit you put yourself through just for someone who didn't love you anymore.

“Would you rather I tell you how he ruined my life, just like he did yours?” You breathed out, finally saying something. The entire SWAT team, along with your team was listening in, everyone was waiting with bated breath to hear--everyone wanted to know.

Prentiss looked over at Hotch. “Hotch we can’t let her do this. It…”

But Hotch just shook his head. “If we hang up the phone, Maeve dies, and if nobody complies with Diana, both Spencer and Maeve die.”

Rossi spoke up. “You have to trust her, she’s negotiating. She’s buying us time. Whether or not we should be listening to this is the real question.”

All of them went silent after that, a decision had been made.

Diane’s face twisted into a smile. “I’d love too.”

You closed your eyes and let out a shaky breath. “D-Do you know what it’s like, Diane, to walk into work every morning and have every single person who promises you they care about you over and over and over again just stare at you like you're some sort of wounded puppy? Watching as they handle you like a glass figurine that they all feel responsible for breaking, and yet the one person who threw you against the wall doesn’t even notice.”

Diane huffed, but she nodded. ”Keep going.”

“Do you know how long we were together?”

Spencer couldn’t decide who the question was for.

“Tell me Spencer. Tell me how many days of her life you threw away just to love someone who you’ve never met before..”

He couldn’t look at Maeve. He couldn’t look at Diane. Your heart had given out right then and there, they had never even met in person. He had fallen in love with a woman he'd never seen before.

“Tell her Spencer.” You voice came out harsher than intended, your resolve was gone, but it made Diane smile even more, becoming comfortable with the taste of venom in your mouth.

His voice wavered. “Five years, two months, nine days, and three hours.”

You let out something resembling a controlled sob, which had Diane’s smile growing by the second. Maeve just stared at him, and Spencer couldn’t tell if she was horrified or upset or just sad.

“You threw away over five years worth of love, to ruin my relationship?”

“Diane.” You said suddenly, trying to get her attention back off of the two people she was holding hostage.

“What.” She was starting to become irritated, ancy, waving the gun around more.

“Want to know the worst part about it.”

“If you tell it to me quickly because I’m running out of patience Y/N.”

“He’s making me transfer departments.”

Your big secret was out.

“What.” Spencer breathed out, the shock spread across his face. He couldn’t imagine the bullpen without you, and when he wasn't on the phone with Maeve, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. The days where you weren’t near him went by torturously slow, and all he could do was hope that you might look at him again, let him apologize, let him fix this. Diane watched as the pain flashed across Spencer's face, enjoying it.

The team all turned to Hotch, hoping that she was bluffing. But Hotch just looked down at the ground, confirming the awful truth.

“I just finished putting in my transfer today.” You didn't know who you were explaining it to–the team, to Diane, or to Spencer, maybe all of them.

“Being around him, knowing he doesn’t lo—” You went silent for a second before switching gears. “This was my dream.” Your lips started talking, and everyone listened intensely. “I trained specifically for the BAU. I got three Bachelors in worthless shit so that the FBI would spike its interest in me so that I could get into the academy and prove myself to Agent Hotchner. Prove myself to Jason Gideon. Then I went and got a PhD in Psychology with focuses in Trauma and Forensic Sciences. And I fucking loved it. I had finally proven to myself that maybe, just maybe, I was good enough. I finally found a place I belonged, with the people I belonged with. And I was so fucking good at my job Diane. You wouldn’t even comprehend it. But he took all of it from me. Every last bit of joy was sucked out of my body the minute he told me he didn’t love me anymore. The minute he didn’t even apologize for breaking my heart and ruining everything I worked so hard for. And then he still expected me to be at my best, getting pissed when I would be distracted, disrespecting me and my intelligence in front of our peers, our friends. He neglected our relationship, abandoning me when I needed him the most, and then expected me to love him all the same. The audacity is through the fucking roof.”

Spencer was just staring at the phone, heart beating loudly in his chest. “And the honest to god truth Diane, the worst part of it all, I would forgive him in a heartbeat. I don’t even know why I would, I feel no fucking reason to forgive him, but I might as well. If he asked me to greet him on the tarmac and kiss him once this case is over and he survives, I might, just so I can remember how it felt to be loved. He barely noticed that I had stopped eating, or didn’t care enough to say anything. He didn't do shit when I would show up half an hour late to the jet because I was so exhausted that I fell asleep at my desk, because I haven’t slept in months. He just doesn’t care anymore and I’d rather die than step foot into Quantico again because losing him was already too much to fucking bare. I’d rather never see him ever again, if I can help it.”

You exhaled, feeling the slightest weight off of your chest, but your words were calculated. The end of your rant held some truth to it, both you and Spencer knew that, but something about the last line of what you had said was bugging Emily.

She turned to Hotch. “Rossi is right, she’s stalling.”

“But?” JJ asked her, looking at the building, before looking back at Emily.

“She’s trying to get Diane to shoot Spencer to save Maeve.”

Just as the entire team realized this, they heard Spencer’s voice, steady and unwavering. “I told her not to come on this case because I knew she would have slowed us down.”

Your brain shortcircuited as a hand came up to cover up your sob. Not because what he said was the truth but because Spencer knew what you were doing, and he was trying to do the same thing.

“She’s been useless ever since our friend was killed during a case almost two years ago. She’s barely intelligent, and all she does for this team, truly, is parade around with a positive attitude that gets on on everyone else's nerves because she could never put as much effort into anything as you clearly have.”

Diane walked over to him, squatting down in front of him. “I want to hear you say it to her Spencer.”

Your mouth betrayed you as a soft whimper came through the phone. Spencer didn't mean all of this, he couldn't have, but hearing the words still burned you alive.

“I-I…You slow this team down, and I have always thought you were a waste of space. I never loved you…” And if it wasn't for the slight change in pitch right as he said never, Diane would have believed him, but she pulled away glaring at Spencer.

“Liar.” She hissed at him. “Liar, Liar, LIAR.”

All you could hear through the phone was a muffled struggle before a shot rang out. You heard a second one and heard Spencer land near the phone. You couldn’t make a single sound, conjuring up the worst scenarios in your head. You could hear him trying to negotiate with Diane. You could hear Maeve struggling to breathe. You heard him begging to take her place, you heard Diane screaming about Thomas Merton.

You heard Spencer scream out wait before a gun shot rang out through the warehouse. Everyone was silent, for all you knew Spencer was dead. He had been shot agasin and killed, and the last thing you would have ever said to him was that you never wanted to see him again. But then, you heard Spencer start sobbing. The small twisted part of you came back and was so relieved that he was okay, that he was alive. But listening to the man you would die for cry over another woman’s body made your skin turn inside out. You had out your phone on speaker for your rant, leaving it on the counter. You reached for it, ready to hang up. But that’s when you heard your name.

Spencer had sobbed your name.

He scrambled over to the phone and frantically repeated your name over and over until you interrupted him.

“Spencer.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.” He whispered, sitting against the wall unable to look at the bodies on the floor. "I didn't...I didn't mean any of it, I swear."

“Spencer. I–” You inhaled sharply. “It’s selfish but I’m glad you’re still alive.” You whispered out, causing Spencer to let out another sob.

"Y/N I-I'm so sorry. I-Can you..."

“I-I can’t do this Spence. I’m so sorry.” You whispered, your heart shattering all over again. “I can’t….I’m sorry.” And with that, you hung up, leaving Spencer on the floor, heartbroken and sobbing, truly losing both women he had ever loved in the matter of seconds.

"You will never know true pain until you look into the eyes of someone you love, and they look away." ~ Anonymous

Next Part

#x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid #Spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #Spencer reid fanfic #Spencer reid angst #Spencer reid x reader angst #criminal minds #Spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader fluff #criminal minds fanfiction

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scoutswritingcorner · 2 months

Note

Can we have more overlord huskerdust? With a male reader who's soul belongs to zestial, they're a Butler and is being abused and used by him. Reader never said anything about zestial being his owner cause they're were threatened and scare that zestial would hurt them.

Hope this isn't too much, srry if it is 😭🩷

Safe And Sound

Overlord!HuskerDust x Male Reader

TW: Mentions of abuse but nothing is explicitly written , crying.

A/n: I’m so glad you like my Overlord HuskerDust headcanons friend! I love these two silly men, not gonna lie I cried when writing this purely cause of the angst. BUT! It does have a happy ending and I hope you enjoy it anon!

Being the boyfriend of two very powerful overlords means you get everything you want when you want, but sadly your freedom is not one of those things until one night.

You sat comfortably on Husk’s lap as you watched the poor fool in front of him slowly lose all his money, the way he kept coming back day after day just to beat the big boss himself. You grimaced and looked away to hide how much pain you were in as a simple fact of nuzzling your boyfriend’s neck as his claws slowly raked over the forming bruise on your leg. You had come straight to the casino after you had survived another grueling day of being a butler for Zestial, you just wanted to be surrounded by your boyfriends and grab a nice drink. But now you felt..uncomfortable around all these people, like they knew. Like your boyfriends knew about the damn contract keeping you locked down by the neck.

It felt suffocating and you hated it, Husk’s hand moved up to squeeze your waist, “What’s wrong, Pretty Boy?” He whispered, concerned as he waved off the poor excuse of a demon and leaned back in his chair. “Nothing, Husk..just tired is all.” You replied, leaning your head back and ignoring how his golden eyes stared at your face as you fixed the suit you had worn today, you didn’t want to worry him or Angel they had enough on their minds as is so when his paw had moved down to brush your leg once more your body had tensed and you swallowed down the pain you felt. “Give me a moment to get everyone out so I can close up, then we can head to bed.” He replied leaning in to give you a gentle kiss as you slowly stood up from his lap.

It was only a few moments later when he had appeared once more, guiding you to the back of the Casino with his paw on your lower back, you were so glad that the bruise was finally healing up and didn’t hurt much anymore. You leaned closer to Husk as he led you into the elevator that went up to the penthouse that you, Angel and Husk lived in at the top of his Casino. When you first started dating them, you didn’t want to move into the penthouse with them. Not because it was bad, but because you didn’t want to move into their space, it was too nice and you felt you would’ve ruined it a long time ago.

“C’mon Handsome, what’s going on?” Husk’s voice caught you off guard, your face heating up from the name but your hand played with the button on your suit jacket. “You’d be upset if I told you,” You replied as Husk pulled you closer to his side, kissing your cheek carefully as if he was trying to ease your worry. The elevator doors opened with a soft ‘ding’ and you quickly excused yourself from his grip to rush to the bedroom, the suit felt heavier and heavier by the second making you think about the green chain wrapped around your neck. It made you want to throw up and lay in bed all day. You could hear Angel’s voice echo down the hallway as you shut the bedroom door behind you, you just needed to get your pajamas on and go to sleep, it would be better in the morning. Right?

It wasn’t until you were already in bed, snuggled deep into the covers with Fat Nuggets curled in your arms did it hit. The tears started to flow as you could barely move your bruised leg, you couldn’t sleep as the thoughts kept racing and you don’t remember when you felt a pair of arms wrap around you. But you were crying harder than before trying to keep your boyfriends from seeing you like this, soft paws carefully moving the pig away from you as you turned and buried your face into white chest fluff, “We got ya’ suga’...take deep breaths for us?” Angel’s voice whispered out as he kissed the top of your head, nodding along as you took deep but shaky breaths feeling Husk rub your back, both of them sent a look to each other, something was seriously wrong. Once you had calmed down a bit but was still curled up on Angel’s chest was when they finally asked the question.

“Handsome? Is someone hurting you?” The question was simple but the way you froze before slowly nodding immediately made the anger in them rise as it tried to show its ugly face. “Zestial owns my soul and has been hitting me, I was so afraid to tell you both cause what if he finds out and kills me?” You whispered sitting up as tears formed into your eyes once more, but Angel pulled you close and gently kissed your tears away. “He’s been..abusing me ever since he found out that I’ve been dating you both. I’m nothing and you both are everything.” You whispered out as you looked at Angel. Angel knew the look he had on his face wasn’t the soft look he gave you and Husk in private, it was the one he used when someone had threatened you and in turn threatened him and Husk.

“You are everything, Suga’. You are our everything, we would never be angry at the simple fact that someone is hurting you. We want you safe and sound in our arms, that old bag of bones is nothing but hateful. We’ll deal with everything okay?” Angel hummed and watched as you nodded, glancing over at Husk who was angrily puffing on a cigar near the window. He was pissed but not at you, never at you. “Husky, babycakes, come back to bed.” Angel called out watching as the feline’s ears fell flat on his head before he put the cigar out easily. “Fine, but I’m dealing with that old fuck in the morning.” Husk growled out moving back towards the bed, his suit long gone as he now wore nothing but his lucky pair of boxers with the hearts on it.

~~~

You were slowly waking up when you had realized Husk and Angel were gone from the bed, you didn’t mind it as they were always busy with something and Angel only left if he needed to get up right then. Otherwise, he would’ve still been in bed with you and Fat Nuggets. You slowly get up and get dressed for the day, but the whole time something felt off. There was no calling from Zestial pulling on that wretched chain nor the feeling of dread right around the corner, something that followed Zestial around like a plague. You walked around the home whilst the little piglet happily followed after you, you stopped at Angel’s in the home office and knocked on the door. After a few seconds you slowly opened the door and peaked your head in. He wasn’t there and you didn’t hear Husk playing his favorite Jazz from his office either so you huffed, guess they had to go out and get work done or there was a meeting.

You quickly closed Angel’s office door shut and made your way to the kitchen, you were hungry and you guessed the little piglet at your feet was too. You chuckled hearing his little oinks as he looked up at you, “Hold on, Nuggies. Papa is making you some breakfast.” You hummed as you pulled out his food and your own ingredients to begin making breakfast, the little piglet patiently waiting for his food and laying on one of your feet. It wasn’t until you heard the doors to the penthouse opening that you looked up seeing as Angel and Husk walked back in holding bags and looking amazing as always.

“Good Morning, Handsome!” Angel called out walking over to kiss your cheek before wrapping one of his lower arms around your waist, as Husk pulled you into a gentle and loving kiss, “Sorry for leaving so early, Pretty Boy.” He hummed as you smiled, “No worries, you both are busy men. Are you hungry?” You asked leaning back into Angel’s embrace as he gasped, “Oh you know it, baby~ I could just kill for your cooking~” He purred into your ear, making a shiver run down your spine and a blush form on your cheeks.

After a very interesting breakfast between the three of you, they both sat you down on the couch and you watched as Husk reached into his suit jacket. Once he showed the golden paper, your body froze and began to shake but he quickly handed it over to you. Angel wrapped an arm around your waist and pressed a kiss to your cheek, “It’s okay..just read it for us, Handsome..” He whispered out as he watched your shaking hands slowly unravel the scroll. Your eyes shakily scan the paper as the anxiety rose in your stomach before it dropped in a matter of seconds replaced by the feeling of excitement. The big bold words across the whole contract read ‘VOID’ and you looked up at Husk and then Angel then back down at the paper. “You..you got him to void the contract? I’m..I’m not under his control anymore?” You asked, hands shaking as both men smiled at you. “Not anymore, Hot stuff. You’re free once more.” Husk purred leaning back in his favorite armchair, cigar hanging from his lips as his grin grew. So that’s why everything felt different this morning, you had your soul back and it was freeing. Dropping the golden paper you hugged Angel Dust close as he pressed kisses all across your face.

“No one will hurt you anymore, Suga’.” He purred out, you couldn’t be happier.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel imagine #angel dust imagine #angel dust x you #angel dust x male reader #hazbin angel dust #angel dust x reader #huskerdust x male reader #male reader #overlord husk #husker x reader #husker hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #overlord angel dust #overlord huskerdust x male reader

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calebwidgast · 12 days

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🏎️ carlos sainz: favorite teammates?

hmmmmmmmm, good question... now this turned into a whole thing so my apologies 😭

first, i absolutely can't chose just one teammate pairing so i'll choose three... (+ one extra) 😂

lance and fernando: yapper and non-yapper 1.0. now... people who look at them and say they have such a sweet father/son dynamic... what do you mean?? 'cause yes, they have a mentor/mentee dynamic but that is absolutely not the same?? lance literally pinched the old man's butt?? in front of god and the grid?? fernando kissed this man after one race together?? and lance, when talking about fernando and his career, said 'he's a pretty good driver. he's done alright over the years.' with this huge grin on his face like the little shit he is?? and fernando is just incapable of being chill about lance?? whenever lance uploads something to instagram, within 2 minutes you can see the little 'liked by fernandoalo_oficial' marker on the post?? lance when asked who his biggest idol was growing up, whilst standing next to fernando on stage, straight up said 'michael schumacher. i was just a fan of the sport growing up, i loved racing. i watched fernando in my young years… he was the guy winning the races and championships. but i'm not gonna lie, i was cheering for michael at the time but… still really happy to have fernando in the team now and really excited to work together', again with a huge fucking grin on his face and whilst fernando was standing right next to him?? lance and fernando just checking in on each other during races?? and suggesting set up changes for each other?? and notorious war criminal fernando alonso continually enduring being in his hated former teammate estie bestie's company just so they can both spend the time staring adoringly at lance?? nANDO FREAKING SHOWED UP TO THE GRID IN LANCE MERCH?? aston martin literally uploaded a lance and fernando edit set to the lyrics:

'i like the way you kiss me, i can tell you miss me i can tell it hits, hits, hits, hits not tryna be romantic, i’ll hit it from the back just so you don’t get attached (‘tached, 'tached, 'tached)'

...anyway i'm completely unnormal about them and i blame @raapija for introducing me to them.

oscar and lando: yapper and non-yapper 2.0. they're so interesting to me 'cause oscar literally looks at lando like he hung the freaking moon (exhibit a: the 'finish the lyrics' video)?? also lando clearly hates losing to oscar whenever they do games or quizzes but also always gives oscar a way back in the game and then cries when he loses to oscar because of it (exhibit b: the summer games video)?? oscar constantly correcting lando when they first became teammates and he still kinda does but now he does it in a much softer way?? and usually waits for lando to look at him like he needs help with a certain word or phrase?? and lando's utter fascination with oscar's floppy hair?? and they're not very physically affectionate with each other but can't seem to stand further than like .2 centimeters apart?? but i'm pretty sure they don't spend any time together off the grid which... #healthyworklifebalance but whatever 😭😂

valtteri and guanyu: just the chillest dudes on the grid being chill together, drinking tea/coffee and staying out of the drama. (zhou making a helmet for the melbourne gp with valtteri's face on it!!)

honourable mention: prema logan and oscar!! i've been watching old f2 and f3 races and baby logan and oscar are everything to me okay!! all the weird shit prema made them do for Content™ really solidified their friendship okay!!

#replies #fernandoalonzoo #f1 #fernando alonso #lance stroll #strollonso #lando norris #oscar piastri #landoscar #valtteri bottas #zhou guanyu #logan sargeant #loscar #(<- tagging this so i can find it later)

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girlycocksleeve · 5 months

Text

Sometimes I write porn :) If you have any suggestions for things to write, let me know.

Tags: public use, misgendering, rape, gang rape, transphobia, forced breeding, aroused victim, public humiliation, slut shaming

He had seen news about the new laws surrounding trans men, fakeboys or cuntboys as the news called them. Hell, he had even seen men getting fucked on the street, in cafes, anywhere public. But he hadn’t considered that the new free use laws would affect him, after all, he was fully stealth and had been for years.

So, when the hand grabbed his ass on the subway to work his mind didn’t immediately jump to the fact that, legally, he was just 3 holes and a pair of tits for everyone else to use.

“Hey, what the fuck?!” He spun around to see another man grinning at him.

“Oh, come on, it’s obvious what you are.” His blood ran cold as the man reached forward and tore his button down open, revealing his binder. They were drawing stares now from other people on the subway, and hands were taking off the remains of his shirt, unbuttoning his pants, as he stood there frozen still not processing. Men pushing up his binder to reveal his C cup tits, fingers pinching and twisting his nipples, finally snapping out of his trance.

“No, no, please don’t do this.” He started struggling and immediately was being held in place as fingers found his cunt, his wet cunt.

The man who had started it laughed, “You wouldn’t be dripping if you wanted us to stop. You’re nothing but a slut like all the other cuntboys.” He wanted to sob as a finger plunged into him, then two, as someone else rubbed his clit. He hadn’t had sex in years, was practically a virgin.

All of a sudden he was being bent over and a cock was sliding through his folds before catching and entering him, stretching him open. Whoever’s cock it was clearly wasn’t in the mood to be patient and was immediately fucking into him, hard and rough, and it burned.

He went to scream and another cock forced its way into his mouth, making him gag as it hit the back of his throat.

“God, her pussy is tight.” He wanted to sob at the words, at being called “her,” but instead his cunt just clenched. The man fucking him laughed, “Seems she likes the dirty talk, huh, slut?”

He shut his eyes and tried to pretend he was anywhere else, and the man fucking his face pulled out and slapped him. “You were asked a question, bitch.”

“No, no, I-“ another slap and he sobbed.

“Don’t lie to us, we can hear how wet you are.” It was true. His cunt squelched on every thrust, his own traitorous arousal slicking the way for the rough fucking.

“Tell us how much you like getting used like the whore you are.”

“I-“ He was still getting fucked, and each time the man bottomed out it forced the air out of his chest in a way that could be interpreted as moaning. “Please stop.”

The man pulled out, the head of his cock now pushing against his ass. “If you don’t like getting your cunt fucked, maybe we should try anal instead?”

“No, no, take it out please!” He yelped the words out, pain lacing them as his virgin asshole was breached, “Please fuck my pussy.”

“Good girl, but you can do better than that.” He had stopped pushing into his ass, but he hadn’t taken his dick out, instead leaving himself still an inch deep.

“Please, please fuck my girly cunt. Please use me like the breeding bitch I am. I need your cock in my pussy please.” He hated the way the words went straight to his clit, hated the unmistakeable moan that was forced out of him as the man went back to his pussy. The cock appeared back in front of his face and without needing to be asked his was opening his mouth and started sucking, running his tongue along the underside of it.

Men took his hands and started using them to jerk themselves off, and eventually he felt someone cum on his face, a sensation that made him shudder in either disgust or arousal, although he wouldn’t admit to himself which one it was.

The man in his pussy started speeding up his thrusts, and soon he felt his orgasm building. “Gonna cum in you, knock you up. Make sure you can never hide what you are again, understand?” The words were what pushed him over the edge and he trembled through it, cunt pulsing around the cock inside him as the man made good on his word and cum flooded into him.

“Fuck, good girl.” The man pulled out and was immediately replaced by another, pushing into his oversensitive pussy, causing him to whine.

“You’re gonna swallow, understand, slut?” The man in his mouth was breathing heavy as he said the words, and seconds after was cumming into his mouth. He swallowed it down dutifully, expecting it as the cock was soon replaced by another.

Quickly he fell into a rhythm, neither pussy nor mouth getting more than a couple seconds rest. He wasn’t sure how long it had been or how many loads he had taken, but eventually it was over, and he was left on the floor of the subway. Mouth and throat aching, barely able to close, and cunt on fire from overuse.

#detrans kink #detransition kink #ftm detrans kink #misgender kink #detrans me #fakeboy #forced detrans #misgenderingkink #detransitionkink #ftm misgendering #my writing 💖

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millzieraa · 3 months

Note

Alex w s/o has stretch marks and they’re insecure of it? </3 I have them NSJSJANISJS my mom would point them out at me you don’t have to do it pookie bear ‼️‼️ don’t forgor to drink water and don’t starve yourself or stress yourself!! MWAH LIVE YOU POOKIE BEAR ‼️‼️💋

˚₊‧⁺⋆♱ Tiger stripes ˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

Summary: you have have stretch marks and are quite insecure about them; on the contrary, it's one of Alex's favorite physical features about you!

Note: MY BAE! MY BAE! MY BAE!! @billkaulitzsrealgf always makes me giggle and kick my feet fr, I LOVE YOUU🙏 I also have stretch marks on my inner thighs, AND my mom also points them out so I UNDERSTANDDD!! anyways, enjoy :3

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°

The first time he noticed them, he stared for a good while. Enough for you to notice. You started to get nervous, thinking he was staring at them in disgust.

When he noticed how uncomfortable and anxious you looked, he immediately felt bad. he looked up at you and smiled softly, “your stretch marks are beautiful cariño.” Alex says softly

You don’t believe him, thinking he’s just saying that because he caught onto your insecurity. “You don’t have to lie Lex, I know they’re not the most flattering..” you say with a nervous smile

He looks exasperated as you say this, looking at you with his mouth slightly parted. “No no! I actually really love them! They’re hot” he says with a playful and dramatic wink.

You laugh and hit his shoulder, making him laugh more. Ever since that day, he always lays where your stretch marks are. If they’re on your thighs, he lays on your thighs. If they’re on your stomach, he lays on your stomach and exc.

When you’re feeling extra insecure, he’ll trace them with his fingers, even littering little kisses on them. When y’all are getting intimate, he’ll kiss them while kissing down your body RAGHHH (⊙_⊙)

He loves tracing them with his fingers while yall are cuddling and shit, like just running his fingers down them in awe. HE LOVES THE WAY THEY FEEL!!

He just loves you so much, he really doesn’t give a fuck how you look or what features you have. He just loves you and thinks anything you hate about yourself or are insecure of makes you even more unique.

If anyone points them out, in a negative way he won’t hesitate to make them shut the hell up. People can insult him all they want but the moment someone insults YOU?? His beloved? Nah he’s pissed

He’d embarrass the FUCK outta the person that insulted you. And the thing is, he wouldn’t even feel bad! He wouldn’t insult the others persons appearance or anything because he doesn’t believe in that kinda stuff but he’d make them wish they just shut their lips

He’d say something like, “are you actually okay? Like genuinely. What makes you think you were cool for pointing that out like it’s a discusting thing? Funny how nobody’s laughing” he’d say, straight faced. THE OTHER PERSONS COOKED

If multiple people online tweet something like that out he’d probably address it on stream, saying something like:

“I wanna just say something before we start stream. People have been commenting on my s/o’s physical appearance and that’s something I’m not gonna tolerate. They’re such an amazing and supportive person. I’m not and will never be okay with that and I wanna make myself really clear when I say that.”

He’d genuinely do anything for you, not really caring what other people think or say because at the end of the day he loves you and that’s all that matters in his eyes!! Bbg loves you SO MUCH!

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°

#quackity #quackity x reader #qsmp #alex quackity #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #quackityhq #alex quackity x reader #billkaulitzsrealgf my cutie patootie

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asurix · 3 months

Note

Chubby reader x dazai who is insecure about herself can you can i like your articles very much

OMG, i think this would be so cute! im on my period...so i dont think ill be very creative today but ill try sorry for keeping you waiting ml.sorry for the delay! i had to finish my other jjk smuts and i took a break! ( I’m so so sorry for making it a Chuuya I didn’t see dazai I thought it wir

Genre: NFSW/SMUT, fem!reader,dom!dazai,chubby!reader,insecure!reader.

Content warning!: groping,kissing,Vaginal sex,degrading,praising and thats all!

aftercare of course :3

look how fine he is

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

You were in your fancy room that Dazai, your boyfriend, had bought and hired people to decorate it just how you like, Dazai loved praising you , he was like a #1 praiser to you but just it was pure love, one thing you didn't understand was how could he like you? your fat hips and tighs, belly rolls, fat cheeks, saggy tits,cellulite all over your body and stretch marks, you always found them ugly and you just wanted to get rid off them, you were infront of your mirror checking every part of your body that you hated, grabbing them, fondling your breast, brushing your hand over your belly rolls and grabbing on them, you couldn't help but frown at the sight, little did you know your boyfriend saw everything, he wasn't feeling one pity in him just pure irritation, '' hey my love…'' he groaned out not loud but loud enough for you to notice him standing in front of the door ''what are you doing?'' he titled his head frowing at you, ''oh! i was just checking myself out you know..?'' you akwardly laughed, Dazai wasn't buying it he knew you were lying straight up to his face, ''i don’t like when you lie to me Y/N'' he raised an eyebrow , ''i really do'' he added, ''im sorry baby'' you held your tears, being in the verge of tears, ''baby…” dazai’a face melted finally stopped frowning, his irritation melting and molding into pure sympathy as he hated seeing you cry.

''dont cry donna ..''he walked up to you wrapping his arms around your waist, ''there is nothing i dont like about you'' he smiled at you. ''i love everything about you, if you dont accept that fact, then ill have to fuck you dumb until you understand that, dont you think?'' he tilted his head, you chuckled a bit, ''maybe?'' you responded. That was enough for Dazai to get him hard, he slowly put his hands on your ass grabbing and groping them, ''oh donna~ it would have been so nice to fuck you breathlessly mhm?'' he bit his lip, before quietly chuckling, “ how can you hate yourself? Bella? I love every part of you” he looked slightly hurt that you hated yourself. “ I don’t know… I just feel so fat and ugly” you looked down on the floor, embarrassed.Dazai processed what you said. he picked you up and threw you on the bed, your weight clearly not a problem to him, he got on top of you and kissed your neck, “ I’ll just have to fuck you dumb until you love every part of your body” he curled up a smirk. “W-wait! Dazai!” You stuttered, before you could even finish you're sentence Dazai lowered his head to your tighs and start biting you, ''i love these plushies'' Dazai continued nibbling on you're thigh before getting up to unbuckle his pants and line up infront of you're wet cunt, ''already wet for me? what a slut'' he grinned before burrying his cock deep inside you,Dazai started thrusting inside you hitting every good spot, ''fuck...so tight'' Dazai groaned, he continued fucking you, ''flip over for me beautiful'' Dazai exhaled, he stopped thrusting giving you time to flip over, you flipped over now laying on you're stomach, ''be a good girl and tell me suger how good my dick is alright?'' Dazai groaned in you're ear, thrusting once again inside you in a slow pace just to tease you ''how good is it baby?'' Dazai smirked ''its so good mhm~'' you moaned out biting into the pillow shoved in you're face. he continued thrusting into you're gushy walls, skin slapping echoing the entire apartment you and Dazai owned. ''oh really~?'' Dazai chuckled, you both went at it you came on his dick twice and Dazai still thrusting deep inside you hitting you're g spot really good, he finally thrusted 2 times before cumming, spilling all his hot sticky seed inside you, filling you completley. ''such a whore'' Dazai sneered before giving you're plushy ass a hard slap leaving a red handprint on it ''ah~Dazai dont slap me so hard'' you whined.

''should have thought about that before talking shit like that about yourself, im really dissapointed'' Dazai sighed, ''im sorry baby i just felt insecure'' you pouted ''its fine baby just dont talk like that again''

''okay baby'' you smiled, Dazai gave you a kiss on you're forehead before pulling out leaving trails of you're mixed juices. ''you should go clean yourself baby'' Dazai insisted, ''will you take a bath with me?'' you suggested with a smile, ''of course baby how can i resist'' Dazai smirked picking you up and taking you to the bathroom.

in the end you both had a nice bubbly bath togehter and snuggled in bed! ( I’m so sorry anon for mixing Chuuya!! and Dazai up)

#smut #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs #fanfic #bsd #bungo stray dogs smut #dazai x reader #dazai smut #bsd dazai

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norahastuff · 1 year

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There’s a lot to like about The Winchesters, but I think one of the reasons it hits so hard for me is that it solves my biggest problem with the finale. Personally, I don’t have a problem with tragic endings. The season 5 finale of Spn has a tragic ending, and I think it’s a wonderful feat of storytelling. Aside from the fact that 15x20 tried to pretend it wasn’t tragic and tried to make it seem like Sam and Dean standing alone on a bridge in Heaven was a happy ending, what I hated most about the finale was they had to flatten Dean into a two-dimensional caricature of himself to do it. Aside from maybe the revelation that Dean stood outside Sam’s apartment at Stanford for hours trying to psych himself up to go in because he was nervous Sam would turn him away, there was no moment in the episode that Dean felt like the complex, nuanced character we had come to know and love over the past 15 seasons. He had no desires or characterisation beyond pie, car and Sammy. There was no sign of all the growth we’ve seen from him, no hint of his own needs, wants or sense of self. I mean, he wasn’t even allowed to interact with his own heaven before Sam showed up. Even after his death, he was never allowed to have anything that was just his.

Look, I’ve said all this a hundred times before – if you look at my 15x20 tag, it’s basically just this sentiment repeated over and over again – so why am I saying it again now? Well, because The Winchesters is fixing that. The mission Dean is on is all his. It’s not about Sam, or pie or whatever surface level bullshit that finale tried to boil Dean down to. He’s going back to the past, he’s meddling in something insane because he sees value in it, and in the process going on a journey to understand himself better. His narration makes it pretty clear that through this quest he’s learning to contextualise his own life and feelings better. The past presents the future, after all (full disclosure, that’s an Ugly Betty episode title that I just really loved and use far too often in casual conversation), and one of the biggest hang ups in Dean’s life was that he was given this mythologised version of events and expected to believe them. Mary was this perfect saintly mother who sat at home baking cookies all day before she was brutally, and through no fault of her own, ripped away from them. John was the perfect mild-mannered husband and father who only slid into anger and obsession after he lost his perfect wife.

Eventually Dean realises that none of that is true. Mary couldn’t cook. She was a hunter. She was involved in the circumstances that brought about her own death. She was a complicated person, and in the end he got the chance to see that knowing the real her, flaws and all, was infinitely superior to believing the white-washed fairytale about the perfect martyr that John created after she died. There’s also the fact that John was never the perfect husband or father, even before Mary’s death. We get maybe one reference to that in Spn, how in Dean’s heaven in season 5 he remembers John and Mary fighting and John moving out for a few days, but not much else. The focus is very much on how John turned into a neglectful parent and an angry man after Mary’s death. But The Winchesters is working hard to dispel that lie. John always had this anger in him. Mary even calls him out multiple times on how he’s using her and their relationship as an excuse to avoid his issues. She straight up uses those words. There are also references to how raising your kids to be soldiers and being their drill sergeant rather than their parent is one of the worst things a parent can do to their child.

Anyway, as interesting as it is to see all these things addressed in the Spn universe, what’s so damn satisfying is seeing Dean realise it. Dean’s on a mission to learn more about his past. To understand that our parents and where we come from shapes and moulds the people we become, but it doesn’t have to define us forever if we don’t let it. By accepting his past and finding out the truth about who his parents truly were, he can accept himself and move forward, free of whatever baggage that had been dragging him down for so much of his life.

And the greatest part about all of this, is that Dean’s the one driving this story. It’s not God, or his father or even his duty to take care of Sam which dictated so much of his life and his choices before. This is about Dean’s choices and who he is as a person and what he wants. It’s funny because as little as we saw John Winchester in season 1 of Spn, he was very much the spectre hanging over the story, and the search to find him is what drove much of the plot throughout the season. Much of what his sons were doing was in reaction to him. And now in The Winchesters, Dean himself is the spectre that’s been hanging over the season. He’s the one making the big moves and steering the action. He’s the one everyone, friend and foe alike, is looking for. He’s the one who gave John the note and put this whole thing into motion. After the ending of Spn took away so much of his agency and everything that makes Dean Dean, he’s finally getting it back and then some.

I’m excited to see how the season’s going to end, but I’ll forever be happy that this show gave us Dean being his own person again. He’s the one picking the music this time.

#the winchesters #spnwin #my spn thoughts

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is-the-owl-video-cute · 2 months

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Hazmat Hole 1: Overture

I went back and forth on whether to do the pilot or not, but ultimately decided not to. Pilots are meant to be an episode 0 that isn’t necessary to understanding the plot. I may go back to it after episode 8 if I’m not completely sick of this.

It starts off with a story book narration about how hell started because Lucifer was a rebel or something and just states very vaguely that he had big ideas heaven didn’t like. Also Adam was the first man, Lilith was the first woman but she didn’t like Adam and liked Lucifer better they fell in love or whatever and Lucifer gave Eve the apple and he and Lilith were banished to hell. I wish I could lie and say I was skipping over details but they used more words to explain that in about as much depth as I did there. Anyway. The important part is that Charlie is a princess of hell as the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith and the angels go down to hell annually to purge excess souls.

These two start off annoying and by god I do not see them getting any less so. Charlie is legitimately the most generic Disney Princess rip off I have ever seen in my life, complete with reading books aloud bursting into song. It’s genuinely jarring to hear her swear because you can tell the voice director basically just told her actor to pretend she’s auditioning for the little mermaid. Vaggie is annoying because she’s written like a middle schooler’s first “strong female character”. She’s the emo love interest in a B movie that was straight to video and made by people who don’t actually know what emo is.

Appropriation Deer is literally just here to make wise cracks and occasionally move in ways that make animators cry and deviantart users in 2010 scream in joy.

They could probably cut the budget in half by not having him in the show. Anyway no he is not here to do anything besides whine about how television sucks and emphasize that he’s only there at all because he’s into watching people fail and cry or whatever. He’s very flat as a character since he’s just there to be tumblr bait.

Angel is here and spends the entire episode being sexually aggressive to the point of making everyone there uncomfortable and that’s the entire joke. That’s it. He’s a gay man who says penis and wise cracks and sexually harasses the men in the hotel. Because that is how vivziepop writes her mlm characters.

We get a two for one easy joke with these two. Haha gay man is harassing a man who isn’t gay as well as haha asexual gets hit on but he says no way.

Angel is here because “crack is expensive” and they don’t charge him rent there.

Which he says while drinking a whole bottle of liquor to establish he’s an addict because vivziepop is as subtle as a bull in a China shop.

And thus we are taken to our first musical number. It’s very underwhelming.

Also Vaggie sings like she’s getting over a cold and plugging her nose and trying to do an impression of a duck.

The opening number also leaves me with a perplexing question. Can you die in hell? Do you go to super hell if you die in hell?

And we get our first real sexual harassment/assault joke from a giant slug flasher trying to make Charlie touch him in the middle of a musical number. I’m sure this bodes great for how angel’s abuse will be treated.

I hate that I know this but as someone who did shamefully hate watch sausage party twice I have to point out that Adam here is literally just a rip off of a sausage party character.

Everything down to the voice direction is literally just a rip off of the main antagonist of Sausage Party, the douche. This is probably somewhat intentional as vivziepop was a massive fan of that movie when it came out, but if you’re going to make an homage that borders on plagiarism (this is a joke I’m not accusing her of plagiarism here but it’s giving original character, donut steel), does it have to be from sausage party? Does it really? There’s other movies. Anyway he doesn’t say much, just establishes himself as a douche.

Back at the hotel they start filming a new commercial since Alastor intentionally made their first commercial bad because he wanted to make fun of them and hates TVs just that much. Nothing very interesting happens. Angel is hot horny. Husk doesn’t want to be there. Alastor makes a deal with Vaggie to help as long as she never makes him go on TV again.

We go back to Charlie begging Adam to stop coming to hell and killing demons by the hundreds every year and Adam says no in frankly one of the only songs that I like from this series. Sadly, it’s still terribly annoying and repetitive.

Viv posted meme please clap.

Isn’t this the homophobic character from the pilot? Didn’t realize she was given a male voice to imply she’s either a drag Queen or trans I guess. Great. I’m sure it’s a very artistic and respectful choice and not every other more likely reason this was the casting decision.

The episode ends with the discovery that an Angel was killed during the last extermination so they plan to come back in just six months to kill every demon in hell. I might care if any character established themselves as anything other than a vessel to spout boring exposition and sex jokes for twenty minutes.

And that’s episode one. It’s honestly just boring and all of the explicit language sounds extremely forced and awkward.

0/10, the one okay song wasn’t enough to save it. Too much exposition dumping.

#hazbin hotel #hazmat motel #hazmat hole #owlvid live-blogging

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pieheda · 5 months

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So, I realized only after watching the Todd In The Shadows video AND the hbomberguy video that I, too, have caught James Somerton just making shit up.

I’m not going to cite actual video titles because he changes them all the time anyway so why bother, but he has one that’s about Angels in America and Rent. This is my jam, I’m a theater gay, so I watched them - and immediately felt like the main thesis would fail an English 101 class. The thesis was “people have the misperception that Rent was made before Angels in America, and why is that?” which is not a thing that people believe, actually. At least, not people who know how google works and can just look up release dates. I found myself thinking that maybe he and some friends were surprised at this, and he decided it was a widely held misperception. But I kept watching the video, and when talking about how popular Rent was when it premiered on Broadway, he said that it was taboo to even mention AIDS at the time.

That is completely untrue. I was an adult in 1996 when Rent was released on Broadway, and AIDS was no longer a taboo subject in the US. There is plenty of data out there to support this, but I think it’s particularly compelling that in 1993, the movie Philadelphia, about a man suing his employers for firing him upon learning that he has HIV, was an enormous box office hit. It won Tom Hanks and Bruce Springsteen both Oscars, for Best Actor and Best Original Song. The Oscars aren’t very daring, perhaps you’ve heard. They aren’t big on giving out awards for things that everyone is terrified to talk about.

In another video that is cited by Todd in the Shadows, I realized that I had ALSO caught James making shit up in that one. When I watched the video for Red, White, and Royal Blue, James said that all these straight women wanted gay romance without sex and I laughed and said “they most definitely do not want that”, because I’m a fan girl and I’ve seen AO3. No research needed to debunk that, most if not all women who knowingly consume gay romance absolutely want there to be some fucking. The only person who would complain about that would be some exceptionally clueless homophobe who accidentally stumbled into this movie.

Both of those things, when I saw them, made me shake my head and say “that’s just not true.” I even commented on the Rent video.

What I did not do is think hard about what exactly is going on here. My opinion of Somerton went down with each of those discoveries, but it wasn’t very high to begin with; I never have liked his presentation style, because of how often he talks down to the people he’s discussing or to his audience. But frankly, there’s a lot of content out there that plays free and loose with the facts or starts with a bad premise (“people have this misperception” with no evidence of that isn’t far off from “Marvel fans on twitter hate this movie!” followed by only 5 tweets cited in the article). I just accept that people lie on the internet, I didn’t expect better. I didn’t stop to consider that gays really should do better, particularly we should not lie to one another about gay culture and history, and ESPECIALLY not when claiming to be doing what we do for the purpose of uplifting gays. I didn’t google to see if there were other issues with him, because if I had I would have learned about him getting into it with Jessie Gender and wouldn’t have given him a view ever again.

We’ve reached such a garbage state that I overlooked that. Seeing everything he’s done all lined up in these two videos had a real impact on me. Todd is absolutely right that it’s abominable to add to all the misinformation in the world, and hbomberguy is right that it’s particularly egregious for James to rob from gay writers who don’t have the funds and attention that James does. But it’s especially bad to just make shit up about gay history and the current state of gay acceptance, particularly when James constantly had the perspective that it’s always bad and gay men always have it the worst. Most likely the “everyone hates gays like me especially” was a calculated choice to create an attitude of persecution within his fandom so that they would accuse anyone calling him out of homophobia. But misinformation about acceptance is ALSO harmful to our community. It’s harmful to go around believing that people are out to get you when they aren’t. The cost of damaged mental health is ALSO important.

And he coldly exploited that because there’s a stupid fucking app that is tailor made for grifters to make cash hand over fist by confirming their audience’s worst fears and creating new anxieties in them. It’s absolutely ghoulish.

#hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #james somerton

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remuswriting · 5 months

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YOU KEEP ME CLOSE; SAWAMURA DAICHI

The only time Y/N gets during his shift to take off his binder is his lunch. It goes similarly every day when waiting for it to come around.

WARNINGS: Trans Male! Reader; Fluff; Cashier Things

WORD COUNT: 1,242 words

NOTES: Bestie/coworkers Iwaizumi & Y/N is so important to me. Also, you should be taking breaks with your binder!!! I try to take mine off during my lunch so I don't hurt my ribs. Y/N's ribs aren't bruised in this, just sore from wearing it.

No gender dysphoria in this. It doesn't add anything to it, so I'm just going to keep the lighter vibe going on here.

Breathing hurts—well, it’s more his ribs than breathing. As he breathes, everything expands, and it hurts. So, he looks at his watch for the third time in 10 minutes to see how long until his lunch break. However, minutes feel like hours whenever it gets like this.

“Time doesn’t pass by faster spending it like that,” Iwaizumi says, and Y/N looks over at him. They’re standing at the end of the aisles for the registers waiting for customers to checkout.

“Time doesn’t pass by fast no matter what you do here,” Y/N says, and he notices a woman with an empty shopping cart walk past them. He gives her a warm smile. Retail has to be one of the most painful jobs anyone can have for lots of reasons. One of them being time never passing by quick enough.

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, and it’s a better reaction than when he hits Oikawa for something stupid shit. He’s never hit Y/N before, but Y/N doesn’t think he’s hit anyone but Oikawa before. It’s most likely a childhood best friend thing that he only gets away with because no one in management has seen him hit sense into Oikawa.

Christmas music plays over the speakers as they straighten up around their registers. It’s that time where there aren’t too many customers in the store, but even if there are, they want self-checkout. Y/N focuses on straightening the gum boxes, pretending his chest isn’t aching.

Don’t look at your watch. Don’t look at your watch. Don’t—

“Are you okay, L/N?” Iwaizumi asks, and Y/N doesn’t look at him, trying to get things perfectly straight.

“Uh, yeah?” he says, and the boxes aren’t cooperating. “Why?”

“You just… You seem a little off.”

Y/N looks over his shoulder at him, and Iwaizumi just seems concerned. Y/N is grateful to have Iwaizumi as a coworker, but he can’t just say that he’s in pain because of his binder. Lunch is the only time he has to take it off and breathe during his eight-hour shift, so he wants it to come faster. He can’t say that, though. It doesn’t matter that Iwaizumi wouldn’t hate him. Y/N just doesn’t tell people. It’s safer, and he has more control that way.

“I’m just hungry,” he says, which isn’t a lie. Having to scan warm food from the deli that smells heavenly is making his stomach grumble. His pocket vibrates, and he quickly pulls his phone out. He can’t stop himself from grinning. “I speak of food and get a text about lunch.”

“Is Sawamura-san stopping by?”

Y/N nods as he tries to bite down his smile. “Yeah, he needs to buy some ingredients. I told him what register I’m on.”

“So he’ll be coming to my register,” Iwaizumi says, and he doesn’t sound upset. There’s actually a faint smile there. (Oikawa once told Y/N that Iwaizumi thinks Daichi is great for Y/N and that he loves seeing Y/N happy. Iwaizumi would never tell him that, though.)

“Yeah, but it’ll be a while, so you still have to have me for the time being.”

“Hopefully, a customer needs to be checked out soon.”

Y/N gasps, a hand immediately covering his heart. “Iwaizumi-san! You wound me!”

Y/N laughs while Iwaizumi just shakes his head slightly and goes back to straightening things. Y/N’s laughter dies down, and he looks at Iwaizumi for a moment before going back to what he was doing.

He was 19 when he came out. It was an impulsive decision that he figures happened because he was so exhausted from shoving himself into some box that didn’t fit him. He was forced to be somebody else—future and all. Absolutely no control of what he could do. So he snapped. He cut his hair, informed everyone around him he’s trans, and cut out so many people for not accepting him. Although it seems so easy to some people, it was so isolating. It was the most alone he’d ever been, but then he met Sugawara and Daichi, and things fell into place. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, even though it’s only been three years.

“Are either of you open?” someone asks, and he looks up to see an older woman. He smiles at her—his retail smile—and nods.

“Yes, I can get you right over here,” he says, and hopefully this makes time move by faster.

Scanning the woman’s groceries takes far longer than he originally thought. He hadn’t fully processed she had two full carts of groceries until she had unloaded half the first cart on the belt. It’s fine, though. He gets through all of it right as Daichi is in Iwaizumi’s line. They make eye contact, and Y/N smiles at him.

“Your total is going to be—”

“I’ve already inserted my card,” she says, and he nods as he goes through the motions. That’s when Aran, his manager, appears behind him.

“Go on your lunch after this,” Aran says before looking at the woman with a dazzling smile. It’s the one he gives customers since it’s so forced, but from first glance, you wouldn’t realize that. “Ma’am, would you like a carryout today?”

She looks at Aran with wide eyes, probably not expecting to be spoken to by him. “Yes,” she says, and the word sounds slightly choked. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Aran says before hurrying around to the other side of the register to help her and Y/N filling up her cart. As he does so, he speaks into the walkie talkie. “We need a carryout on register 14.”

Kiyoko comes up behind them, and Y/N quickly logs out so she can log in. He looks at Aran. “I’m going to lunch now. I’ll tell them to page someone when I pass customer service.”

“Bye, Iwaizumi-san,” Daichi says, and Y/N nearly runs into him at the end of the aisle. Daichi looks at him and smiles. “Hey there, stranger.”

Y/N smiles back, and he wants to hug him. He wants to pull him in close, even if it’d hurt a little. It’s okay because they’ll go home for a while, and he can take off his binder to breathe for a bit.

Instead, he looks down at the reusable bag Daichi always brings with him to the store. Y/N should be more like his boyfriend in that regard, but he finds that the plastic bags work just fine. He also doesn’t have to add another step when getting ready to go to the store.

“Hey there,” Y/N says as he looks back at Daichi. “Want to get out of here?”

“And cook you a meal while you breathe?” Daichi asks, and he’s smiling so hard it’s easy to hear in his voice. Y/N loves him. He loves him so much, and he wants to say it. Instead, he nods. “Count me in.”

“Alright, but I have to stop by customer service really fast,” Y/N says, and Daichi quickly glances behind them.

“Does she need a carryout?” he whispers, and Y/N laughs as he nods.

“Yes, and you’re not helping her, Mr. I-help-everyone-I-meet,” Y/N says, and Daichi rolls his eyes. He follows Y/N to customer service before they head out the door and Y/N waits for his phone to clock him out. Once it’s finished, he looks up at Daichi. “I’m free for an hour!”

Daichi grabs his hand and pulls him closer. “Then let’s get you home to relax.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #daichi x reader #daichi x male reader #sawamura daichi x reader #sawamura daichi x male reader

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tiredtreebranch1 · 1 year

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Oh, What Alcohol Can Reveal

Hero opened the door to the solemn face of Villain. Villain wore a long dark coat paired with a black button up shirt and black pants. It looked like a less Villainy version of their normal outfit.

“Bit morose for a trip to the pub don’t you think?” Hero smirked.

Villain glared, “I think it encompasses my feeling of being forced to go to a pub, no less with you.”

“Like I could force you to do anything.”

Villain smirked and gestured to ask if they could be let in. Hero stepped aside and mockingly opened their arms wide in welcome to the apartment. Villain slowly picked their way through the mess that coated the floor and settled onto the couch, after moving a stack of newspapers.

“I’m nearly finished getting ready, I’ll just be a few minutes,” Hero said before walking away.

Villain nodded and surveyed the apartment. They’d been in here before, but not often. Barely anything had changed since they’d been here a year ago. A new painting has been added to a wall but other than that, nothing. Although, the apartment was a lot messier than it used to be. Piles of clothes sat in corners, magazines covered every surface, dishes were stacked high in the small kitchen, altogether it was kind of gross. Despite themselves, the Villain started to clean the apartment. Just small things like grouping all the magazines together in a few piles, throwing out all the crumpled paper that littered the ground. They avoided the dishes and the piles of clothes, that was too far (and took too long to do).

By the time the Hero emerged the apartment was noticeably more organised even if it was still covered in junk.

“You cleaned?” Hero looked confused.

“Because you obviously no longer know how to,” Villain stated airily.

Hero just raised an eyebrow in scepticism, “if you hid a bomb or something I’m going to be so disappointed.”

“I didn’t hide anything, idiot. I just couldn't bear to sit in this filth for more than a minute.”

Hero just shrugged and headed to the door. Villain shook their head and followed. After locking the apartment door, they headed downstairs.

Since Villain had been vehement against the idea of taking public transport Hero decided they might as well walk. The pub was only about a ten minute walk away after all.

After a silent walk, filled with uncomfortable silence and small glares from Villain, they arrived.

As they entered, they were hit with a wave of hot air that heavily contrasted with the blistering cold outside. Straight away Villain scrunched their nose and looked disgusted at the pub and the people within it.

“Go find a table and I’ll go get us some drinks!” Hero yelled over the noise of the crowd.

Villain just nodded. They found a booth table right in the back of the pub. If they had to be here, they would be as far away from the actual activities of the place as they could. They hated the noise and the pungent alcohol smell paired with the body odour of unwashed alcoholics. They hated how everything was sticky, everything. They felt infested by the very air of the place which surely stored a multitude of diseases and human filth. They suddenly wished they hadn’t worn their favourite coat because now they were going to have to burn it. A true tragedy.

Soon enough Hero found them, holding two pints of some sort of beer in their hands. They sat down and carefully sat the dangerously filled glasses on the table.

“I got to the bar and realised I had no idea what you liked to drink so I just got both of us a beer,” Hero pushed it towards Villain, “don’t ask me what type though.”

Villain looked at them, wondering if this had all been a ruse to poison them. Invite them out for a night and then drug them in a public place where they could conceal their malicious intentions with ease. Villain realised that calling the Hero malicious or evil in any way was a blatant lie no matter the circumstance. They were basically an angel. With that thought they decided to just go for it. They took a gulp of the beer and nearly gagged at the taste. Across the table Hero seemed to be in a similar situation, except they really did gag.

“This is disgusting, Hero.”

“Yea, sorry,” Hero said, taking another sip and immediately regretting it.

Villain just shook their head and went and got them each some more drinks.

After a few hours and, admittedly, a few too many drinks Villain seemed to be relaxing. They were getting louder and more boisterous, seeming to be influenced by the mood that floated throughout the pub. They were chatting and humming to the music. Hero couldn’t help but feel proud that they had coaxed this out of Villain. They were both slumped over the table, exchanging comments and grins.

Suddenly Villain sat up, looking and listening.

“What's wrong?” Hero asked, sitting up as well.

Villain grasped their wrist and pulled them away from the table. Looking around, Hero realised they were now in the middle of the pub, which was used as a makeshift dance floor for the drunk and sober alike. They looked at Villain, questioning.

“I fucking love this song,” Villain said passionately.

Hero grinned openly at Villain. Villain grasped them again, but this time started moving them to the music. It was an upbeat song filled with moments of yelled out lyrics. And Villain proudly sung every lyric while twirling Hero around. Hero couldn’t stop laughing, filled to the brim with a swell of unbridled joy.

Everyone in the pub had joined in by the end of the song, some knowing the lyrics and others not caring and joining in otherwise. It filled the building and was exhilarating. Villain grinned from ear to ear not taking their eyes off of Hero. They both spun and sang and danced until the song ended. They were left panting and sharing grins.

They continued this way until they stumbled their way out of the pub at some point in the early morning. Walking back to Hero’s apartment they hung off of each other. It took a few tries for Hero to unlock the door but eventually they made it home.

Villain cringed at the state of the apartment, “seriously though you need to clean.”

“I’m busy,” Hero collapsed onto the couch.

“With what?”

“Stopping you and your friends from destroying the world.”

“You never used to be too busy.”

“I just am now,” Hero snapped at Villain.

Villain raised their eyebrows. Hero looked away.

“You’re hiding something,” Villain said it matter of factly, no question involved.

“I’m not,” Hero answered anyway.

Villain’s eyes bored into Hero. Hero got uncomfortable and stood up, the alcohol muddling their usually logical responses to Villain’s interrogations. Hero decided it would be best to just walk away. So they did, without a word.

“Hero.”

Hero ignored them collapsing into their bed. Someone collapsed onto the other side.

“Who is it?”

“What?” Hero grunted, confused.

“The person you’re seeing? That’s surely the only reason you no longer have the time to take care of yourself. Are you always over at their place?”

Hero laughed, actually laughed, “I’m not seeing anyone,” at a scoff of disbelief they added; “honestly. It’s too hard in this line of work. Too complicated.”

“Okay who is it you’re crushing on then?”

Villain saw Hero’s ears turn red, and presumably the face hidden in their pillow was just as red.

“No one,” came the muffled reply.

“Bullshit.”

“Fuck off.”

“Not until you tell me who it is,” Villain settled further into the bed.

Hero groaned and raised their head to see how serious Villain was. Villain held their gaze steadily. Hero groaned again and dropped their head.

After a few minutes Hero whispered something.

“What?”

“It’s you,” came a slightly louder whisper.

Villain stared at Hero. They watched as once again the pair of ears turned bright red.

It was cute.

They must have taken too long to respond because Hero shifted and sat up. Their face was blank, and the only sign of any previous embarrassment was the fading red in their cheeks. It was kind of scary.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You don’t have to worry about it,” Hero stood up out of the bed and seemed to be distancing themselves from Villain, “I’ll see you at work then I guess.”

Villain stood up as well.

“I hope we can keep things professional,” Hero rambled on, “nothing has to change. Just pretend like nothing-”

Hero was abruptly cut off by a pair of lips slamming against theirs. Immediately they leaned into the kiss, breath snatched away from them.

Villain had effectively cut off their nervous rambling.

Eventually Hero pulled back gasping for air. Villain pulled back as well but kept their arms around Hero, a smug smirk tugged on their mouth.

“You’re an idiot, but you’re my crush too.”

Hero grinned openly at Villain and Villain couldn’t help but grin back.

“Good.”

#villain x hero #villain/hero #hero x villain #hero/villain #going out #creative writing #short story #so cute #heroes and villains #hero #not a prompt #protagonist x antagonist #love these two #love this so much #writers on tumblr #writing #written by me #fiction #all the tags

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