#they make me ill In the bad way

[garfeildfanpage]

To kind of add onto the Aoiaoi post from earlier I just wanted to include a few things I didn’t mention cause discourse

Akane didn’t strangle Aoi, but he still pushed her over, and proceeded to grab her by the neck and forced her upwards, hence the coughing. That’s still bad, actually!

Tbhktwt is having a moment right now, and I feel like a lot of people are either overblowing / diluting the conflict in the chapter. Akane is being forceful, both physically and not, and that’s not good! It’s obvious to say that in no other situation would Aoi have confronted her issues, but that doesn’t take away from the invasive act of it. He isn’t just forcing her to confront her feelings, he’s distressing her on purpose to prove his point, no matter his intentions he’s still doing something wrong. They’re both incredibly messed up individuals, and Aoi has a lot of blood on her hands as well.

Aoi intended on killing herself, and when Akane got in her way, she took him with her.

I’ve reread Akane & Aoi multiple times and still sit on the conclusion that their confrontation solved nothing. Akane is upset at Aoi for lying to people, but he doesn’t once try to rationalize why she’s doing so. Instead, he puts all the blame on her. He claims to understand her so deeply yet not once does he show her an ounce of grace. All he does is make her problems a “what about me?”, he doesn’t ask her anything, it’s all just what he thinks. “Why do you act like this?” Would’ve been a lot better than just getting in her face to yell, I think. Aoi has reasons for the way she acts, not excuses, but she tells him why she thinks that way and he still doesn’t get it. He repeatedly dismisses her distress, and gets in her space when she doesn’t want him to. She isn’t flustered, she’s uncomfortable. Which should be obvious considering the difference between the expressions she makes when she is! This chapter, and I really can’t stress this enough, is the farthest thing from romantic, and absolutely eons away from being even remotely healthy. This chapter is a hard and uncomfortable read, because of how deeply gross it is.

Aoiaoi is an incredibly complex relationship that shows two people in a toxic codependency, and Akane & Aoi is the absolute breaking point. They’re both fucked up in ways that only being apart can fix, and when forcing them to “confront” their issues, it’s just going to get messy. The objective view of them as peers is muddled when you focus on the imbalance between the two. Aoi has dealt with constant harassment from childhood, and as shown in the chapter, and has assumedly been mostly sexual harassment. And for Akane show such a clear disregard of her comfort is gross in basically every way. That is the rock bottom of Aoiaoi, and I am so tired of people justifying what happens just because they like them.

And I can repeat this a thousand times, every relationship in tbhk is flawed. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore the bad behavior in them, and using it as an excuse is exhausted and weird. You can like Aoiaoi all you want, but that doesn’t mean you should justify the bad shit! Every relationship is flawed, but that doesn’t mean they’re all flawed the same. Not everything is toxic yaoi, some things are just toxic, and acknowledging that is really important. Don’t justify abuse or mistreatment! I think!

I could restate the whole end-part of the original Aoiaoi post but I don’t feel like it. Uhmmmm I don’t hate Aoiaoi I just personally think they should be treated by the fandom at large with more tact and care. They’re volatile and in a lot of cases I see people just, ignore the toxicity, in favor of a cute ship and that’s not great. Understanding flaws within characters is important, don’t be dense, don’t be misogynistic! Cause Aoi hate is usually that! Akane hate isn’t though as much as I love him he has his,,,low points (this entire post) and deserves getting thrown through multiple stained glass windows

Uh ninja out bye

#hot cheese #jshk #tbhk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #akane aoi #aoi akane #something about tagging uhm yeah #they make me ill In the bad way #I wish I had something positive to say about them but I care so little the only time I do is when i have something negative to say #I don’t hate straight people (lie) don’t hit me

[xiewho]

no time to celebrate

#drew this thinking their bdays were during night yorb summer for some reason #i went looking for the clip midway and when i saw it was the other way around i kinda died a little inside #BUT I AM NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED !!!! #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #so anyways we can pretend this is a time quangle thing yes yes #they fall asleep making the solar lasso and no one has it in them to wake them up (esp riz) #so the rest of the bad kids leave them stuff for when they wake up #joint birthday party is real and depressing ! but not really ! the power of friendship is still very real #dont ask me the logistics of the hangvan interior ill die #i dont wanna thnk about this piece anymore it aged me 10 years #my art

[biblically-accurate-dca]

encore!

#my art #daycare attendant #sundrop #sunnydrop #moondrop #dca fandom #the shading on this was super annoying so if it looks bad it's cause i gave up #anyway.... this was supposed to have some sort of symbolism in it. but i've forgotten what it was by now #interpret it as you'd like i suppose? #also oh my GOD THE DLC. i've been thinking abt them all day it's making me physically ill #this drawing is from way before that but hopefully i'll be able to post some ruin stuff soon

[electronix-arts]

IM DONE HOLY SHITT

two versions. As a treat for severe lack of art.

(the quality is ass im so sorry)

#murder drones #murder drones fanart #serial designation n #uzi doorman #nuzi #biscuitbites #enzi #pb&j shipping #n x uzi #god the pb&j shipping name makes me ill in the best way possible #anyways if the quality is bad im ending it all #the_vault.mdp

[bloobydabloob]

I’ve been thinking about country based things way too much recently… you can tell. I wanna raaangeee liiiifee.

#homestuck #homestuck fanart #dirk strider #hs fanart #dirkjake #jake english #blooby posting #Still very ill by the way #Someone send me a get well soon card #Also really want to make little paper DirkJake dolls. #As a fun craft #Will do it when I can be bothered to get up and run my crappy printer #it’s so bad dude. I’m not joking #Fully rendered Jake with the little dotty eyes made me laugh a little as well #I’m so tired man

[piecanl]

Do you think Tubbo would recognize the path Bad is going down, because it's one he's already walked down on?

This self-destructive behavior coming from a broken heart?

He hasn't seen Bad at his best, before the eggs got kidnapped. He's seen him a victim to grief more than a father. It's why the blue staining Bad's being isn't out of the ordinary.

But suddenly he starts carrying flowers to remind him of the love he lost, suddenly the void calls out his name even louder and suddenly Tubbo sees himself in the older demon.

And it's scary, because suddenly he sees what he has become, how it affects others.

And for the first time of many, he sees Bad walk down a road he's paved. For the first time of many, Bad is the one repeating Tubbo's mistakes.

#the parallels between soul hunters make me SOOOOO ill you hav no idea #i needed to get this out of my brain I might've misscharactarized Bad on the way and If I have sorrayyy..... #their fascination or connection with death #their undying loyalty to those they let in their circle #the switch of their perspectives on resolving conflicts after both Purgatories #the self-sacrificial mindset when it comes to the eggs #the fact they're some of the most trusted people with the eggs #Bad is openly trusted by parents while Tubbo is silently trusted by the eggs while they're both simultaneously safe spaces for the kids #Tubbo has been there for a lot shorter than Bad which lead to him following a lot of previous islanders' including Bad's steps #but suddeny he's been trust into many tragedies and now he has his own path people may fall down in #JUST AGH #i feel like I'm going in circles #i don't know #i dont think they'd ever openly discuss their weaknesses infront of eachother #but I also don't think they'd ever outright shut off a conversation over grief they share #qsmp tubbo #qsmp badboyhalo #soul hunters #soulhunters

[oatm3al-c00kies]

everyone shut up i need to tell suzanne collins directly that the only part of 'the ballad of songbirds and snakes' that got an actual extended period of laughter in my theatre was the "tuberculosis on legs" joke, a joke made at the expense of a young, suffering, dying, sick tribute as she's about to accidentally ingest poison and kill herself because she's so thirsty and sees water and thinks it will make her feel better. this girl who's so sick because of the living conditions in her district, who was doomed as soon as her name was called, who was probably just so relieved to see an un-smashed bottle of water she didn't think anything of it, too exhausted and dehydrated to think anything of it.

a joke made by the capitol host of the hunger games to try and make capitol citizens laugh and make the horrific things happening in the arena better tv because they already don't see the tributes as people who have lives and who matter and maybe we're so close to her dystopia that we can actually fucking taste it

#am i overreacting?? maybe!! #did it make me feel ill? absolutely #like i got chills in the bad way WHY WERE THEY LAUGHING AT HER SUFFERING #that was someone's child! who a man just made fun of on national tv AS SHE WAS ABOUT TO DIE. and you're LAUGHING WITH HIM??????? #SHE WAS ABOUT TO DIE AND THEY WERE LAUGHING MORE THAN THEY HAD THE ENTIRE REST OF THE MOVIE #MORE THAN WHEN SEJANUS ROASTED HIS ASSHOLE CLASSMATES #anyways i clearly have so many thoughts about people laughing at lucky's jokes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie #tbosas movie #tbosas #tbosas spoilers #the ballad of songbirds and snakes spoilers #the hunger games

[skunkes]

(trying to be) happy to be here

#a doodley #1st pic is from last yr #im an easy crier and lately its bc i hate the way my life is going but then i think abt how one day ill be dead and i wont be able to #draw anymore or look at birds anymore or eat things i like anymore and it also sends me into insane crying hysterics #i want to live so bad.... but idk... i shld make the best of what i have. and try to cope with what i have (hence the images) #bc like idk. i want to leave so bad but my parents will be gone someday too so why am i in a rush to not see em...idk. #i dont knowwwwwww chimp image #copium. i have to find anything to be excited about. trying. #sorry its those nefarious 3 am thots -_-

[lskamil27]

There is doomed yuri in these bunkers tonight,

#my art #illustration #fanart #fear and hunger termina #fear and hunger olivia #olivia haas #fear and hunger abella #I need these two to kiss so bad #but the only way I can see these two kissing is when Olivia's inferiority complex with her sister is at its peak #rizz game is asking the hit mechanic to kiss you while you're crying with snot on face #they make me so mentally ill #one day I'll go on endless rant in why I ship them #for now #olibella #or abelivia?

[inkskinned]

i've been in pretty much constant pain for the past 4 months. i have a slipped disc. the mri this weekend finally confirmed what i'd already suspected. mostly, i just put up with it.

i've been in a pretty bad mental space since winter began. my brain is leaking out from between my ears. i just don't care enough to listen to the rabid wet whispering of hope. i'm mostly just bored of being here, the swaddled joyless apathy.

the back pain ebbs and flows, but it's there, so i take care of it. i do my physical therapy. i get in with a specialist. i'm lucky - there's no immediate need for surgery. it's bad, but it could be worse. when i talk about how i did it (it was a very bad sneeze), i usually start laughing. it's funny! i am never comfortable, but hey. i'm young. i'll bounce back, or so they keep saying.

i just found out it's not normal to wake up every night with a category-five panic attack. i'm lucky if i am still able to remember how to spell my name right. i spend my days in a weird blank haze, exhausted, desperate for respite - only to be unable to rest during the night. i say with a laugh - i really hate it when my mental illnesses start working together. i mean, sure. unionize. it's fine. i have lost all sense of myself. there's nowhere that's actually warm in my mind.

i feel bad how often i complain about my back. my friends immediately shush my apology. dude, you slipped a disc. continue complaining.

as a kid, i think i only really admitted to the bad things... twice. for some reason, when he didn't just dismiss it - it made my dad angry. he slammed a door at me. you're fucking ungrateful. what do you have to be sad for?

what an odd delight: the slipped disc gave me the oddest wave of relief. i'm allowed to actually hurt about this thing.

i have chronic conditions which aren't "real" things. i could write a novel on the weird ways people respond to my POTS & the rest of my fun physical acronyms. i am kind of ashamed to admit - i like the way it feels to be able to say well, because of a slipped disc. a slipped disc is a real thing. a slipped disc is serious and painful. there's diagrams and infographics about slipped discs. upon my diagnosis, they immediately offered me narcotics.

i haven't been able to get up out of bed for more than a few hours. i do less and less and less and less. i have started to sit down in the shower. sighing my way from deadline to deadline. this again. in one day and out the other. people tell me i don't really need my meds. i have run out of times saying i have depression, it's become almost transparent. it's so bad my therapist suggested meeting more than once a week, but i don't want to worry her, so i never finish setting up a second meeting. every creative spark in my soul has been entirely ravaged - but that's just capitalism, baby. i don't even take the day off of work. i just show up and do a bad job and get yelled at for it.

it's not real, after all. the pain is just imagined.

#spilled ink #warm up #is this clear? #i have chronic pain & illnesses which i will not be discussing on this blog #and i will say that the way i'm treated about those is often just as bad #but since i don't have the room to give it justice on this post #it's ... about that weird sensation of... #''oh this is a real thing that actually hurts people'' #when u have spent ur life in pain and being told that pain isn't real #feeling like you are '''allowed''' to finally ACTUALLY feel pain #that sense -- oh thank god it's actually bad #idk maybe im a bad person #but sometimes i do like to write about. the actual symptoms of mental illness #and sometimes the Illnesses Do Make Me Think Bad Thoughts #so if this is weird just tell me i'll bring it up w/my therapist ig

[saintalec]

david tennant as campbell bain in takin' over the asylum, 1994

#i had a normal reaction to this show i promise didnt make me spend 3 weeks reconsidering how my family have treated my mental illness AT ALL #(this is a lie realising my mother treats me the same way campbells father treated him hurt bad) #david tennant #campbell bain #takin over the asylum

[p4nishers]

cody was EXACTLY what crosshair needed. like someone who's SO fundamentally kind and good, someone who'll fight for people, someone who IS a good soldier, a perfect one infact and STILL questions orders. orders he's PROGRAMMED to obey. i wholeheartedly believe this was a turning point in crosshair's story.

#the bad batch #cody makes ppl wanna be better just by existing doesn't he #god i love hum #i also feel so bad for crosshair like he was stranded for 32 DAYS AND STILL LIED ABOUT THE BATCH ESCAPING #i really RWALLY hope im right and he's gonna think things true cause the way he said 'why not commander cody' was PERSONAL like he LIKES #cody and he knows him from before #i loved this ep i genuinely couldn't have asked for more like cody RAN AWAY IN THE FIRST EP HE WAS IN TGATS THE BEST RHING EVER #if we dont get a cody&rex reunion i might actually just die #im not much of a crosshair apologist ill be the first to admit that but i still feel bad for him sometimes despite his problems being #largely his own fault #he IS just like me fr unfortunately minus the facism of course #commander cody #star wars #the bad batch s2 #clone wars #tbb #tbb s2 #tbb2 spoilers

[lil-vibes]

need me a fem! skk ballet and/or figure skater au so bad yall dont understand

#my mental illness is hitting and i think this will cure it #been spinning it in my head #imagine fem!chuuya in these beautiful outfits doing jumps and spins and being all graceful in the air IMAGINE it rn this is a threat #and my fav girl failure dazai being like :OOO n thinking thats my future wife up there !! #or dance duo skk grrrgrrrr #n the way the public catches on that there is something going on is bc when one wins first place they run straight to the other to #give them the medal or trophy #and ofc they r like 'just so u know who is better' and they they make out in the changing rooms #broooooooo i need i need this so bad #figure skater fem!skk au call that shit yuri on ice #... wait a second #bsd #skk #fem!skk #pebbles (me) ramblers #i need this so badly 😭😭😭 #honestly wasnt uuuuh the other side of paradise (?) chuuya a dancer ?? gotta check #gotta finish the fic actually #o7 mission received me im going

[pcktknife]

ill be like 'i need a new sketchbook' and for what i dont even draw like that no more 🧍🏾

#i put pencil to paper. draw a circle and predict the drawings already going nowhere so i just give up #i cant even attempt to draw without getting instantly tired.bored. fed up. etc etc #it feels pointless #i used to fill sketchbooks save for like idk 3-4 pages i cant even draw on one page anymore head in hands #i feel the same digitally but im able to experiment in ways i cant on regular paper #it still makes me tired tho #i feel like if i get a new book ill do something different but its all the same #its getting so bad im considering school wahhhh #kae.txt

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I feel like barnabys favorite drink (alcoholic) might be a old fashioned? And non alcoholic mixed drink. Might be a Shirley temple. (Which Is my favorite non alcoholic mixed drink!)

(Of course this is all my opinion! But yea!

he Does feel like a classy guy, huh? but who's to say! Who's. To. Say...

#ohhhh dont say shirley temple thats one of my favs as well.... #dont put that thought in my head... #oh what i wouldnt do for one rn. its been so long </3 #catch me going to the bar and getting one of those instead of Anything else #rambles from the bog #but yeah. who knows maybe he'd enjoy just plain whiskey #a nice Quality bourbon perhaps... #we're probably way off the mark here! #no wait he seems to have a sweet tooth given his hotdog order... as well as a lack of tastebuds... #idk. you know that guy who makes hellish alcohol concoctions in bathtubs. bathtub jungle juice #maybe barn would enjoy That. absolutely absurd concept.... #but as always! what do i know! #lmfao im picturing him swirling whipped cream on whiskey aaslcnjalscnslkd + a cherry.... maybe some sprinkles.... #actually that doesnt sound too bad. hm. #we Do have whiskey i think... maybe ill have some fun tomorrow #nah actually im not a big fan of straight whiskey #im more of a rum guy... maybe ill do that to some Rum...

[anteater18]

best father and best son

(note: dapper's hair is based on a deviled egg, because devil)

#qsmp #qsmp bbh #qsmp dapper #digital art #my artwork #character design #character illustration #digital drawing #mcyt #badboyhalo #dapper qsmp #i fucking love drawing bad #hyperfocused and drew bad for 14 hours straight oopsie #mcyt fanart #mcytblr #mcyt fandom #deviled egg dapper #thinking of making this a series #maybe ill base every egg off of an egg meal in some way #tumblr gets this before twitter bc y'all are good to me