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ghostytoad · 7 months

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* Fun n' Games *

ROTTMNT Boys x GN! Leo-esque reader who enjoys drama, making jokes, and being overall awesome

Summary: The Hamato brothers unexpectedly fall for the smug, but genuine, fun-loving reader despite their egocentric habits Headcanons for: Donnie

GN! Reader; Romantic; Fluff || Words: 1.6k

Raph | Leo | Mikey | Bonus!!

Donnie:

his first thoughts upon meeting y/n is that literally nothing could be worse. he could be boiling alive in one of meatsweat's fancy culinary stews and be less bothered by that than having to endure not one, but TWO LEOS

there goes the fleeting days of being able to complete his work in peace and quiet; o call back yesterday, bid time return

really tho, all his eye rolling and indifference is just an act that he refuses to let up on (he has a REPUTATION to uphold after all!!)

it doesn't take much time for donnie to warm up to y/n though; he's more or less used to his twin's antics and smug behavior and with y/n being almost exactly the same, it's like they've known each other their whole lives

he chalks it up to being comfortable with the familiar, but his brothers can definitely see it for what it is: a crush

he enjoys the competitive tension between y/n and him, it keeps him on his toes and gives him a boost when he feels out of it and needs the motivation

doesn't much care for the whole ego thing, but it doesn't bother him as bad as leo's does; at least y/n has good reason to be as cocky as they are. they're funny, they're charming, they're cool, they're incredibly perceptive

in fact, he's secretly made a list of all the good qualities y/n has and all the things he likes about them… it's like a whole 10 spreadsheets worth of data

to be fair, he does keep a similar list for his brothers and april, so it's not like he's stalking y/n or anything; it's just his way of "bonding" with his loved ones

but y/n's list is a lot longer than anyone else's; there's just so much to like about them. it only makes sense that their list of good traits happens to match up pretty well with his list of "things to look for in a potential mate" (a secret list that he will take to his grave)

whenever they go on missions, he makes sure to fit y/n in all his latest gear he's made them for their protection; they might talk big game, but donnie still has to take precautions!

he may or may not have taken y/n on a few purple dragon-related missions - AKA "let's go put whipped cream in all of their hard drives and cover their hideout in tinfoil wrapping just to fuck with them"; turns out that the police do not find it funny

"let me just say for the record that nothing's illegal unless it can be proven beyond reasonable doubt. and you can't prove that y/n and i were there so…"

y/n ain't no snitch, so don can trust them to keep their mouth shut if anyone ever gets suspicious of their misdeeds; this also makes them his go-to for some of the more emotionally heavier things that he can't talk to his brothers about

yeah, donnie's not great with emotions, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel them - he genuinely finds y/n to be a comforting presence, especially considering their amazing emotional perception and how well they can read him

he finds it much easier to work when y/n's hanging around the lab with him; they don't have to interact much, all it takes is a visit from y/n and he's hit with a burst of motivation

gets more work done with y/n around than he usually does and takes advantage of this productivity by making y/n stay with him for literal hours even if they don't actively take part in his work

he's even made them a little corner with all of their favorite things in the lab so they can keep busy while he works; they might be good for motivation and all, but he knows better than to leave y/n alone with one of his inventions considering their… impulsive behavior (rip stun-bo feature, we hardly knew ya)

"w-what, leaving? you can't leave yet! i've only just started on this upgraded micro-transmitter for the tank and i need your help! what do you mean you just sit there for hours doing nothing? that's entirely false, you are helping me out immensely! now sit right there and don't touch anything until i tell you to-"

their easy-going nature really complements his more rigid and particular personality; together, they are an unstoppable and wildly chaotic duo

he might be the funniest turtle of the group, but y/n has him in tears with their lame little jokes and one-liners; he mostly only laughs at the roasts and teases directed at his brothers though

overall, his brothers have an ongoing bet over how long it'll be before donnie finally realizes he has a MAJOR crush on y/n; leo has his bets on "not in my lifetime", april predicts it'll be sometime after casey jr's time, mikey's a little more generous and says "maybe in the next decade or two", and raph is just fed up with it and wants it over with NOW

The buzzing and whirring of various tools occupied the otherwise silently uneventful lab as Donatello worked away on his latest project, completely absorbed in his work. Tucked away in the corner, sitting snug in the soft embrace of a plush beanbag, Y/N busied themselves with another round of Smash Bros on their purple (totally not Genius Built branded) Switch. Most days in the lab were spent in comfortable silence, as the purple coded brother did his best work when there were minimal distractions. But for Y/N, that meant keeping all audible cries of excitement or groans of defeat to a minimum while gaming. And sure, that was a reasonable request for a while, but had it really already been four hours?! As Y/N glanced down at their phone for the time, they let out a loud, heavy sigh as boredom overwhelmed their usually active mind.

"Don, how much longer do I gotta sit here? I'm practically dying of boredom. I'm terminal now. Terminal!" They slumped themselves back over the cushion, causing it to wheeze under the shifted weight.

"Just a few minor adjustments left and we'll be as good as gold." Donnie hadn't even looked up from the tester bot he was tinkering with, something which Y/N met with a frustrated scowl.

"And by a few, you mean…?"

"I still need to work on recalibrating the external displays to account for the large-"

"UUUGH, no, how long! I've been here so long that my leg's've atro- asta-… ASTROFIELD!"

Donnie could hardly contain the snort that sounded from under his welding mask.

"I think the term you're looking for is 'atrophied' and no, I seriously doubt that the mere act of sitting is enough to deteriorate muscle tissue."

"Whatever. I'm dying here and you wanna lecture me on-"

They were interrupted by the soft thudding of approaching footsteps, the unmistakable sound of Raph entering the lab.

"Heya, D. Y/N. Sorry to barge in on y'all, just wanted to check in and see if y'guys needed anything. It's been, uh… A while and it's gettin' dark so-"

"Raph, will you tell Dorkie here to quit holdin' me hostage and let me go? He's been keeping me prisoner here and I haven't even gotten my one phone call!" Y/N teased. Their moniker was successful in tearing Donnie's attention away from his desk across the room to shoot them a bitter glare.

"Heh, y'know Y/N, you could leave anytime you wanted, right? It's not like he's actually gonna trap you here. Er… Right?" Raphael's playful expression tinged itself with a hint of concern as he, for a moment, considered the possibility of a hostage negotiation with his little brother.

"Nah, I'm actually good here. I just want something more to DO when I'm here. I can't just be here for moral support, y'know." They stuck their tongue out at the softshell as they rolled themselves off the bag and plopped softly onto the tile floor.

The eldest mutant scratched at the back of his neck with a chuckle. Of course Donnie would tell them it's for 'moral support'.

"Uh, Y/N. You do know he only really keeps you in here because he's got a thing for you, right? That whole moral support thing's a load of crock."

It was at that moment that the ambient hum of tools stopped and tense silence flooded in its place. Y/N propped themselves up on elbows and craned their neck towards Donatello who sat faced away from them with tense shoulders bunched up.

Sensing the awkward situation he'd now put them in, Raph let out a small hiss of regret between his teeth and slowly shuffled his feet back towards the door.

"Riiight… So, you guys good? Yeah? Yeah. I'm gonna just-"

And with that, he practically bolted for the door, leaving Y/N and Donnie to stew in the thick air of their own embarrassment.

"D-Donnie…" Y/N could barely squeak, their eyes fixed to the empty doorway as if they were pleading for Raph to come back and take the awkward with him.

Donnie took in a sharp breath and in one swift motion, pushed his work chair back and spun to face his companion with only his iron-will keeping him from running out of the lab himself.

"I-" He started, his face dark red and his lip quivering with anxiety as his mind parsed through the many scenarios in which this sort of confession could've gone.

"I knew it couldn't have been just for my good looks." Y/N's smug grin and flirtatious wink did little to alleviate the mutant's humiliation.

"Huh?"

"For the record…" Scooting up to Donnie's hunched form, Y/N gently took his hands into theirs and kept their gaze locked to the floor as the faintest blush dusted their cheeks, "I have a thing for you too."

Out of every scenario he'd managed to file through, this one was one outcome he didn't anticipate. But one he would happily accept.

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strongheartneteyam · 1 year

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Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Chapter 3

CW: angst, reader is a loner, reader works her ass off every day at the lab, fluff, neteyam being cute towards reader (even tho it still has weird vibes lol), mad jealous neteyam, TRIGGER WARNING for depression symptoms (such as being moody n having less appetite than the usual), stalking, obsessive and toxic behavior, also TRIGGER WARNING for reader mentioning the word “suicidal” in an internal monologue (she IS NOT actually suicidal, she just feels really sad and mentions the word. if u read it, you'll know what I mean)

Not proofread. I'll do it as soon as I can ♡ I hope it's a good chapter 🥲 & thank u to everyone who's reading this fanfic, who left a comment in the last chapter and, of course, to everyone who asked to be in the taglist I LOVE Y'ALL 😘💕💕💕

Chapter 2

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Mother looking at me

Tell me, what do you see?

Yes, I've lost my mind

(...)

Will I ever be free?

Have I crossed the line?

All the things she said, running through my head

All the things she said (t.A.T.u)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You woke up feeling like crap that morning.

Your last shift had been so demanding. You had to cook just so much food that you started to wonder if there was anything left in the pantry. You had gone into that room just so many times yesterday to get ingredients and kitchen utensils, your legs felt heavy and sore now, as you stretched them in your small bed.

There were just too many people to eat in that damn laboratory.

Meanwhile you, the cook, barely had any time left to eat. There was always just so much work to do. So many dishes to wash, so many vegetables and meat to cut, bread to prepare from scratch... Your head hurt just thinking about it.

You felt so stressed out that you preferred to unwind a little instead of eating, sometimes. You would find a quiet place, sit somewhere, put your headphones on and press play on one of your many curated playlists or in one of your favorite songs. Listening to music seemed to work like a medicine to your wounds and, going to the cafeteria and having to socialize, to have people all around you felt too much, so, you just tried to avoid it. You even started to lose a little weight because of it. Nothing too much, though. You were only slightly thinner than you used to be. But in the back of your head, there was always a voice saying "Please, take better care of yourself...". Despite knowing that voice was right, you were too tired and apathetic to care.

Ever since you started to Dreamwalk, it was like your whole world had changed. That old life you led did not seem to be enough anymore. It never was, in the first place. It could never compare to the heightened senses you had when you were in your Avatar, helping you smell and hear everything better.

The first time you spent a whole afternoon running alone through the Pandoran forest next to Hell's Gate, you felt alive like you had not felt in years.

But nothing gold can ever stay. Way sooner than you expected, you had to be awakened from that magical dream. Everytime you came out of the technological machine you had to lay inside of to be able to drive your Avatar, you thought "Damn! Why wasn't I born a na'vi? They're so freaking lucky to have such an incredibly beautiful Planet to call their own. If only Earth was still as beautiful as it used to be..."

When you were not in one of your free days, you would always work until you felt exhausted and fed up with everything. It was not a walk in the park to be a cook. Even though you loved cooking since you were a teenager, when you used to always mix different ingredients and spices and create new recipes, this profession forced you to spend most of your time standing up and to have little time to sit and rest your poor fatigued legs. In some days, all you wanted was to sleep for 12 hours straight. And God knows you were capable of actually doing that.

Not a long time ago, you slept so much that, when you eventually woke up, it was 2 pm and you almost got fired from the lab when you finally showed up at the kitchen you were supposed to be in since 6 am.

You promised yourself you would never do that again. You just could not afford to lose that job. And you wanted to cry just thinking about not being able to Dreamwalk anymore. Exploring Pandora was the peak of your life, currently. It was when you felt high as a kite. As funny as it sounded, it was true. You felt euphoria run through your body everytime you got to have blue skin and be over 8 feet tall.

You liked to cook and was good at it, but, you were a smart, intelligent girl who knew much more than people thought you did. Unfortunately, you could not manage to get a higher position at the lab. Your forte was not sciencey stuff. It was subjects like Human History, Languages, Philosophy... At best, you got to use your language learning skills to learn basic na'vi fast and was able to get an Avatar from the lab. At least that was a good thing that your tiring job provided you. God knows that privilege was one of the few things keeping you alive. You goddamn hated you life, your job, everything... All your days seemed to be the same. Same chores, same annoying people... Most scientists did not try to hide that they did not see you as an equal. Even though they were always really polite to you, they would not let you in in their little groups, in their upbeat conversations through the laboratory corridors. You could count in one hand how many of them used to talk to you with genuine interest in hearing what you had to say.

You sat every day next to the less valued lab employees: janitors, cleaning ladies, other cooks just like you and so on. Your race had never been good at realizing the worth that these hardworking people had, anyway. Why would they do it now? You thought it to be so sad...

Those employees were nice regular people. Even thought some of them were idiots and treated you badly, there are people who behave like that anywhere. You were thankful that most of them were polite to you and treated you well enough. You also had a close friendship with one of the female employees, a cute, humble and really kind girl called Crystal. But she was your only actual friend. You did not remember the last time you had made an actual effort to make a friend, to be nice to someone in hopes you could get to know them better and they could become a part of your life. You had to admit you had been really grumpy lately.

You could easily blame such moodiness on your lack of will to keep living that life you currently had. It’s not that you were suicidal, it's just that you wished you could live a better life.

There was also Derek, the tall, cute boy you would make out with every now and then. You did not have a proper name for your relationship with him. He was always lovely towards you and you two would have really interesting conversations together and sneak around to kiss each other and do other types of heated stuff (though you never had sex with him) anytime you both felt like it. But it did not happen that often, anyway. You did not put much thought into it, to be honest. Derek was just a friend you would fool around with. You could not be farther from being in love with him or anything of sorts.

After another tiresome day, you walked fast towards your room. All you could think about was how nice and cozy your bed would feel when you would lay your body on it. Only five minutes after you finally laid down, you fell asleep. Slumber had been bugging you all day. Lately, it had always been like that.

They say you have to be careful what you wish for. That your words and thoughts have power over what happens to you. And you learned it the hard way.

In one of your infamous busy but boring afternoons, something unexpected happened to you.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a na'vi young man appeared outside of your glass window and tapped slightly on it. You almost choked on your own saliva when you saw that huge, blue creature staring at you with wide yellow eyes. A scream got stuck right in the middle of your throat, since you got so startled you could not get your vocal chords to obey the command your brain was sending them. What the hell was that na'vi doing in front of the laboratory? They did not use to come to Hell's Gate. And why was he looking at you through the kitchen window?

The na'vi boy just would not stop staring at you. His gaze was so intense it made you feel unbelievably uncomfortable. Suddenly, he pointed to the left. The big, ample door that led to the open area in front of the room you worked in was right at the same direction his four fingered hand was pointing to. You realized he was signaling to you that he wanted to see you outside of the lab.

You started to say, in your own mind: "What kind of weird situation is this?"

"Please?" You heard the alien plead in fluent English (he only had a typical na'vi accent), his voice coming through the narrow gap that existed between the glass and the window frame. His eyes reminded you of the eyes of a small kitten asking for food.

You got surprised by the fact that he was able to speak English. You wondered why he had learned it and who taught him the language.

You tried to reach for the door to try and inform someone that there was a na'vi around and ask if anybody knew who he was when you heard the alien say:

"Don't go, please! I just want to talk to you! I'm not gonna hurt you."

Your back was turned to him. When you turned around, he was smiling.

"It's incredible how you're even prettier up close."

"I'm sorry?!" You answered

"Oh, forgive me. My name is Neteyam. Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan. It's really nice to meet you." He was still smiling.

That name was familiar, Neteyam te Suli... Oh, of course! Neteyam was the son of the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan, Jake Sully. He was very famous between the na'vi and the humans.

Neteyam Suli was one of the most feared na'vi warriors out there. A great archer and very skilled with the knives the Omatikayas made themselves, he fought fearlessly against the recoms, including Colonel Miles Quaritch, an old enemy of his father. Quaritch used to lead the RDA soldiers when he was human, before being "revived" and given an Avatar body. He died in battle against the na'vi. But that did not mean that there was finally peace between humans and the na'vi race.

But why in hell was Neteyam Suli trying to talk to you? It is not like the na'vi liked the humans. On the contrary, they despised your race.

"Uhmm... okay. Nice to meet you..." You tried to be polite and peaceful towards the na'vi boy, like you were advised to be by your teachers, back when you were studying and training to get your Avatar "But I'm sorry, what did you say? That I'm prettier up close?" Your brows were furrowing, your face full of confusion. Despite all, you were calmer now that you knew you could communicate with him in English. Your na'vi was not the best out there.

"Yes." Neteyam's big amber eyes shone when he looked at your face. You were beyond dazed. "I've seen you before. Many times actually. But only from far away. It doesn't compare to seeing you right next to me." His voice had a weird warm feeling in it, like he was already acquainted to you. But how could it be? You did not even know who he was before he revealed his identity to you.

"When did you see me...?" Your mouth was slightly opened, so bewildered you felt

"Don't you wanna come outside so we can talk better?" He said, seeming excited.

"Unfortunately, no. I'm good, thanks." Neteyam looked sad after you declined his offer.

"Why not? I told you, I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise." He smiled faintly. You could tell he was hurt by your blunt answer.

It pained you to act like that towards him. You admired the na'vi so much. Damn, you even would choose to be born a na'vi if you somehow could go back in time, before you were inside your mother's womb and you could talk to Eywa herself. But how were you gonna trust him? There were some na'vi out there, his mother, for example, that hated humans with such a boiling passion. What if he took after his mother? You would be in trouble if he tried to kill you. Even though the na'vi were a peaceful by nature race, everyone has a limit, so, you had to be careful when interacting with them. You learned about all the genocide your kind had committed against his kind while simultaneously destroying his Planet slowly, in a cruel, despicable way. You honestly understood the contempt the na'vi felt when it came to humans.

You looked at Neteyam with honesty in your eyes and said:

"Please don't take this the wrong way but I can't really trust you. I know you told me you're not gonna hurt me, but, I'm still human. How can I know you trust me, to begin with?"

"I trust you because you're different. You're nothing like the others from your kind. You're more like my people. And I love that about you." Neteyam said, smiling at you.

"Can you please just tell me how do you know me? Because I've never seen you before. I've only heard about you because you're the Olo'eyktan's eldest son and Olo'eyktan to be. But you talk to me like you somehow... know me. I'm really confused, Neteyam." He felt his heart race when he heard you pronounce his name. Your voice sounded so sweet to his sensitive na'vi ears, making him move them somewhat to the sides. It was the same voice he heard in the forest, when he watched you talk to yourself saying how beautiful you thought some yellow, bioluminescent flower that you saw in the grass was.

"You're a Dreamwalker. I've seen you around. I love how much you seem to appreciate and respect my Planet instead of destroying it like the others from your kind do. That's why I think you're more na'vi than human." He chuckled happily and you got confused by his last sentence.

You had to admit he looked cute when his fangs escaped from under his upper lip whenever he smiled or chuckled. But you felt so weird thinking that.

"I'm more na'vi than human?" You were intrigued "What do you mean?" You laughed a bit and he continued on staring at you in an intense manner.

Neteyam heard footsteps approaching, so, he started to move just so he could hide. He did not want any other human but you seeing him. He knew he could not trust them as he could trust you.

"Wait! Where are you -" before you could finish your words, he was already gone.

The brown wooden door behind you opened and Derek appeared carrying a pile of plates in his arms.

"Hey, cutie." He walked towards the sink, leaving the dirty dishes there to be washed by himself when he would be back in the kitchen.

"Hi, Derek." You smiled faintly. You were still recovering from that odd interaction you had with Neteyam Sully.

Derek came close to your ear and whispered:

"Feel like meeting me tonight? I miss you." You sighed

"I don't know... I'm not really in the mood, sorry." You answered, uninterested

He got a little surprised by your answer and moved his eyebrows up, making wrinkles appear in his forehead but quickly remembered he had much work to do outside, so, he walked towards the door and got out of the room without saying another word to you.

Neteyam was still out there, next to the window, leaning against the wall. He was listening to the conversation the whole time. He had to use all the self control he learned to have with the years to not hiss when he heard that human call you "cutie" and ask if you wanted to meet him tonight. Who was he, anyway? And why was he saying he missed you? Neteyam had never seen you show any sign that he was your mate before. He had to find out what was going on. Neteyam would not let anyone get between the both of you. It would not be a weak human male that would be the obstacle that would make him give up on his future mate. He was used to challenges and was not afraid of another one. That would probably even be fun. Neteyam could imagine that tiny mate of yours shivering in fear when he showed him his big, sharp fangs.

Neteyam decided he was gonna find out who the hell that mate of yours was. He was sure he was not better than him. That human male would never be as strong as he was. That human would never be able to hunt fresh food for you, walking through the forests of Pandora and confronting big, dangerous animals, like Neteyam would. He knew he outbraved that human. He could never be a good mate to you like Neteyam could be. You deserved better than him.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @xxunnie @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri

I tagged some of you that did not ask to be tagged but left really cute comments on the last chapter that made my heart feel warm 💓 if u don't wanna be tagged, just lemme know

Also, if someone wants to be added to the taglist too just leave a comment below saying that 🤍

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anisespice · 1 year

Note

How about walking around in booty shorts to get your man’s attention❤️❤️

you got it, anon! thank you so much for your patience and for requesting !! i took wayyyyy too long to do this lol wasn't sure who you wanted for this, so i figured i'd just make it into an "insert who you want" kind of scenario. hope you enjoy :))

pairing: various x fem!reader

warnings: mature language, MDI. talks about posteriors (lol), suggestive themes, and i think that's all.

notes: been sick these past few days, so had to put a hold on the next part of "the fuck it list" :((( but hopefully i'll have it up sometime tomorrow, didn't want to leave you guys high and dry sooo !! hope you enjoy ♡♡♡

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐬 ∵ The ones who are caught completely by surprise, needing to do a double-take at them double-stacks attached to your spine to make sure his eyes were playing tricks. You didn’t normally wear them around the house, at least not without a big shirt that usually covered everything, so clearly you were baiting him for something; and consider him hooked. It didn't matter what he was doing before you walked into the room, consider it DROPPED + IGORNERED + NONEXISTENT. On the game with the guys? Dropped. Typing up a work email? Ignored. Watching a show? Nonexistent. Won't put his hands on you right away, his mama raised him better than that, and he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But he will side-eye tf out your ass until you eventually have to say something—He looked like he was finna pass out if you didn’t.

"You know you’re allowed to touch me, right?"

"Thank FUCK, I thought you were gonna torture me forever - please come over here now please, thank you.”

TAKEMICHI, kakucho, chifuyu, angry, SHINICHIRO, kazutora, kyotani, kenma, aran, kageyama, deku, kirishima, tamaki, twice, [insert anyone you want ].

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 ∵ DOWN BAD AND PROUD OF IT. Utterly shameless, eyes waste no time honing in on your ass the second you walk past him, indulging his intrusive thoughts by giving you a light smack on that thang just to watch it jiggle. Wearing a shit-eating grin when you turn to playfully glare at him; he fucking knows you love it. Doesn't even care if y'all got company either, I mean shittt - you didn't when you decided to walk around with them shorts on. Absolutely will follow you around, feel you up and everything, homie cannot keep his hands to himself to save his life. Not his fault you look so damn tempting, he just couldn't resist. Good luck trying to get anything done now, and prepare to be absolutely SICK of him. You wanted his attention, you got it.

"Oh my goddd, boy, leave me aloneee."

"Nah, don’t get shy on me now, babe. Nowhere close to being done with you."

SANZU, hanma, rindou, RAN, smiley, baji, mikey, MATTSUN, maki, tanaka, nishinoya, SUNA, ATSUMU, HINATA, bokuto, sero, denki, mirio, HAWKS, [insert anyone you want ].

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝-𝐥𝐲 𝐁𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 ∵ Won't look like he's phased at all, you could be walking around in your underwear and he won't break a sweat. Honestly, he'll have you feeling stupid at first, thinking you weren't as irresistible as you thought. Fret not you sexy thing, that's just how it appeared on the outside. On the inside tho, that man was having some rather... depraved thoughts. He wasn't born yesterday, he knew you were trying to get a rise outta him, but he really needed to focus on his work right now. But, don't worry...once he's done, he got something for that ass later.

"You didn't think I was gonna let your little stunt slide, did you?"

kokonoi, WAKASA, izana, draken, MITSUYA, ushijima, KITA, daichi, kuroo, iwaizumi, akaashi, osamu, sugawara, oikawa, TODOROKI, bakugou, shinshou, shigaraki, dabi, [ insert anyone you want ].

#🍁wasabi #🍁allspice #tr #tokyorev #tokyorev headcanons #tokyo revenegers #tokyo rev x reader #tokyorev smut #hq #hq headcanons #hq scenarios #hq smut #hq x reader #mha #mha scenarios #mha headcanons #mha x reader #mha smut

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mina-saiyat · 10 months

Text

Twice Interactive Story Part 1206

I Can't Stop Me (Nayeon, Jihyo)

Sun shining on your face through the window, you slowly awaked by the warmness of the sun, the first thing you see is Jihyo, sitting just besides you, you did not expect she already comes that early, maybe it was because she is the only one that don’t have the job.

Jihyo is helping you adjust the bed, so you could sit up. ‘Feeling better today? I have cooked some congee for you, it can help you to recover faster.’ You know Jihyo has always learning cooking, sometimes with Mina before they doesn’t have the crush yet. Unlike Mina that wants to be a nice daughter in law so she can take care of the family, Jihyo cooks for health, she would gain fat easily by just eating some snacks, so she takes a lot of attention on the food she eat.

Seeing Jihyo wants to feed you, you stop her and take over the bowl. ‘Let me, let me try can I do it.’ You speak. Jihyo slightly pours her face, and give you the food.

‘It’s yummy as always, Jihyo. I love your cooking...’ You praise Jihyo’s cooking skill, but you are soon stopped by her, ‘What did you talked with her yesterday?’ Jihyo asks nervously, you are not sure why she would know you have a private talk with Nayeon.

"It was a continuation of our conversation from earlier." you say plainly. I change the subject quickly. "You have no idea how stressful the trip to Japan was, Jihyo. I'm glad to be back, but I'm sorry you have to see me like this. I wanted to surprise you at home."

‘You are giving me a big surprise, Y/N.’ Jihyo sighs, ‘I wanted to come yesterday, but Dahyun told me that you need some rest… You don’t know how worry I am.’ Jihyo caresses your chest.

‘I will never leave you, I promised, right?’ You put your hands over hers and look at her.

‘So, how does your Japan trip goes? Dahyun said you black out because you are too intense there… I guess Mina’s parents must be tougher than mine, haha.’ Jihyo strokes your hair, comforting you before letting you continue.

You lean up and kiss her cheek, "They made your dad look like an angel." You say with a laugh. You go on to explain the situation with Mina's family. You end the explanation by saying, "I'm still not convinced that they really wanted Mina to come back with me." You stare at Jihyo before kissing her cheek again. "I'm just glad it's over. Can you lay beside me? I want to hold you."

Jihyo smiles and gets on the bed, laying next to you, you hug her naturally. ‘I am so happy that I finally can back to you.’ You whisper.

‘I am happy too, everything gonna be alright. Even if Mina would not back, I am still here for you.’ She caresses your cheek lightly before kisses you.

After separating for a long time, Jihyo is being aggressive today, she slowly sitting on you, you are pushed back on the bed.

“I love you…’ Jihyo whispers at the break of the kiss. You two start exploring each other’s body, Jihyo’s hand slips in your clothes and keep going down; your hands moving from her shoulder to her tits that you always fancying.

‘Am I better than her? I remember all you think is my tits when you are fucking her at our first night…’ Jihyo rubbing your face with hers. The room suddenly become so hot to handle.

"I don't know, I guess I need to feel you again." You say as you squeeze her breasts. "No, but you're a great woman, Jihyo. I'm so lucky to have you." You softly kiss her neck. "I love you, Jihyo. I'm glad I can spend time with you like this."

Jihyo moan slightly as you kiss her neck. ‘You like spend time with me at the hospital huh?’ Jihyo teases you. ‘Do you think this bed is better than ours at home? It’s pretty soft tho.’ Jihyo’s hand until she reaches your bulge.

She can feel how hard you are, you can also feel how needy she is, her nipples are erected under your teasing, she breaths heavily from the kiss, the tits bouncing slightly in your arms, makes you marvel of her size again.

‘Should we continue? But I guess you would never say no, horny boy.’ Jihyo starts stroking you slowly despite you are still with your pants.

You groan slightly from the pleasure Jihyo brings, its different when she strokes you inside your underwear, the extra friction makes the sensation stronger. Sweat dripping from your forehead, you not sure can your body handle, but as she keeps stroking you and bends down to kiss you, you loss in her body.

Your self-control even go worser when you hear Jihyo’s tease, ‘What do you think our kids know it was in the hospital that he was created.’ Jihyo says and blows hot wind in your ear.

"Don't tease me so much, Jihyo, or I might really but a baby in you." You say teasingly as you move your hands down her body and press them against her ass. "You already know how much I want to put one in you. I don't think I can't stop myself if you keep going." You whisper into her ear.

‘Go on then, you know I want a baby… I want a baby with you. Didn’t you told me that we won’t need my mum’s condom?’ Jihyo whispers to you and start undressing you, you get up slightly so she can remove your clothes more easily. You hug her in your arms, kiss her neck gently and start unbuttoning her shirt.

You bury your head on her chest, and take a deep breath, feeling the scent from her tits. ‘Should I leave my bra here so you can think about me when I am not here?’ Jihyo uses her bra to cover your eye and pushes you back on the bed again.

You push it away and you see Jihyo is already kneeling in front of your bulge, her fingers are drawing circles near your nipple, the sensation from her nails make you shiver.

‘Dahyun told me that you like girls play with your nipples, seems it’s true.’ Jihyo gives you a smirk and start twisting your nipple, every time she moves, her tits are rubbing your cock, you can feel your pre cum is start leaking out, and drips on her bare chest.

"Did you lock the door?" You ask Jihyo. "I wouldn't want anyone to interrupt us." You lean forward, taking one of Jihyo's large mounds in your hand. You squeeze the soft flesh before using your fingers to find her nipple. You pinch it lightly, hearing Jihyo's soft moans turns you on more.

‘The nurse said she will only back at afternoon, no one will come in… Umm…’ Jihyo start to moan as you keep playing her nipples. You are still a little bit worry, but what Jihyo says next makes you insane. ‘Why are you still thinking about these? Take the time and we can have more rounds.’

‘I miss how it feels when you fill me, I love that warm feeling, can I have it now?’ Jihyo blows hot winds in your ear and bite you. ‘I can’t wait to be a mommy.’

You can’t take this anymore, you poke her panties and guide her to sit on you, you could feel how wet she is when her lips touch the head of your cock, the heat from her makes you wanna go all in directly, you push her shoulder and you directly enter her. Her walls clamp you tightly, making both of you release a moan.

‘Y/N, you are so big…’

‘Jihyo, why you are always so tight? Ah…’

You massage her ass, gently lifting her up before dropping her back down. You pick up the pace and you start thrusting in to Jihyo's tight cunt. "You want a baby? I'll give you one." You start slamming Jihyo down into my cock, feeling her walls split apart for you as you push deeper into her. You lean down to start sucking her tits. you can't help myself and bite them lightly, making Jihyo moan louder.

‘Ah! You want some milk, don’t you?” Jihyo holds your head and let you attach to her nipples, your bite brings her pleasure more than pain, you can feel her walls clamp harder every time you bite her. You bury your head in her tits , sweat start forming on your forehead as you feel choked in her large breasts, but you couldn’t resist the sensation from her tight clits, the heat and tight hole is something you have missed for too long. You thrust your waist harder, releasing your lust on her body.

Jihyo let go of your head right before you nearly exhausted, she plays with her tits and looking down at you. You two’s forehead touching each other, the proximity of you two makes you two can see your shadow in each other’s eye. You feel you wanna say something, but the pleasure of Jihyo riding on you occupy your mind, you hold her waist, forcing her to under your control.

You continue thrusting, feeling Jihyo's walls grow tighter around you, you wrap your arms around her. You give her a kiss full of love as you pull her into a hug. At the same time, both of you cum together and you fill her womb with your seed.

Both of your body jerk when you reach the orgasm, you can feel Jihyo’s wall milks you tightly, forcing you to shoot waves of cum in her, she keeps grinding on your lap despite you two are still kissing. She falls on you when she has ride through your orgasm, her hand massages your ball, still demanding your seed. You look at Jihyo who is laying on your chest, you can’t hide your smile. ‘I love you, Jihyo. What did I do so I can meet you?’

Jihyo who breaths heavily to recover herself, trying to feel your heartbeat as she put her head right on top of your heart, ‘Is it beating for me?’

You run your hands through Jihyo's hair. "It is, Jihyo. I love you." You lean up and kiss the top of her head. "I can still feel you milking me. You must really want a kid." You joke as you pat her head.

‘Of course, don’t you want a kid with me?’ Jihyo smiles as she hears your confession. ‘It’s fun if we can raise our kid together… and he may have more mothers and siblings…’ Jihyo stops a moment before she continues.

‘Jihyo, I…’ you try to comfort her but she stops you, ‘It’s ok… Lets not talk about it right now.’ Jihyo buries herself in your body again, and let you hug her. Your stiffened cock slowly slips out of her pussy.

You caress her back, feeling her warm in your arms, thinking what else you could say.

"When I get out of here...do you want to go on a date? We could go somewhere special. A place only for us." You say to Jihyo as you run your hand down her body. "It would be nice to spend a day with alone with you."

‘A date…’ Jihyo rubs your jaw with her head, ‘perhaps a ride to country side, I wanna try to drive your car… Having some fresh air at the country side, its good isn’t it?’

‘And we can try for a baby again at night…’ Jihyo whispers. Her seduction makes you swallow some saliva immediately, ‘you want a baby too, right? See how excited you are…’ Jihyo smirks after she saw your reaction. ‘But we will wait until you recover, ok?’ She kisses your forehead before lifting up her body. ‘Help me, would you?’ Jihyo hands you her bra, signaling you to help her dress up.

‘Is she coming later?’ Jihyo asks when you hand start squeezing her tits again.

"Who? Dahyun? I don't know, she hasn't said anything." You respond, momentarily forgetting about Nayeon. "I'd like Dahyun to visit. It's been a while since we've just been able to talk." You help put Jihyo bra on, giving her breasts one last squeeze. You kiss Jihyo's neck softly, "I do want a baby with you. I want to make you a mommy." You whisper to her.

‘You will be a good daddy, I know it.’ Jihyo relaxes herself in your arms, the exist of you make her calm. You two keep having some small talks before Jihyo decides to leave. Seeing Jihyo is leaving, you do want her to stay for a little longer, but you are also worrying that other girls may come, you pull her down again and give her a kiss.

‘See you tomorrow, I guess?’ you ask reluctantly. ‘I love the food you cook.’ You rub your head against hers, trying to act cute for a little bit.

‘I will of course, stay on the bed and get some rest, I am waiting you for our date.’ Jihyo playfully slaps your head away and leave the room. You sigh and look at your phone that keep breezing, it’s Nayeon. You do not expect she has already finished considering about your words yesterday.

You call Nayeon to ask what she wants, and so you can hear her voice. "What's so important that you're keeping my phone busy?" you say playfully.

‘I… I just wanna try to ask are you feeling better?’ Nayeon asks you after she takes a deep breath, ‘if you are all good then I will end the call.’

‘No, Nayeon, I am still recovering slowly, you know I still need to stay here for a week, right? Would you come again, I want to see you.’

‘Aren’t your girlfriends are taking care of you? Where are they then? I haven’t prepared to meet them yet… If you are feeling better, then bye…’

You don’t want Nayeon ends the call so fast, so you purposely cough again, trying to get her sympathy, ‘Ough… No… Nayeon, I still feel unwell. When I think about you.’ Your coughing catch her attention.

‘Don’t scare me, Y/N. You really not feeling good?’ Nayeon asks nervously.

"I'd feel better if you were here." You say before coughing again. "If you can't come right now, then could I at least see you through a video call? I want to see your pretty face again. It would make me feel a lot better."

You could hear Nayeon's sigh before she gangs up the call. Before you could call her again, she FaceTime you already. You immediately pick up the call. 'Nayeon...'

'Be quiet. I don't want my sister to know we are still having contact.' Nayeon peeks at the side of her phone before she continues. You could see she was in her room. Her bare face still looks pretty, although she did not put on the makeup. Her pajamas slipped down, showing her pretty shoulder.

'You still look sick... Isn't Momo taking care of you?' Nayeon, seeing you look so weak, asks you with a hurry. It seems she is not happy that Momo isn't here, although you know she is on the way here.

"She said she would come today. I'm sure she'll be here eventually. Don't worry about me too much. I'm feeling better just looking at your pretty face." You say as you take in every detail you can. "Are you going to visit me any time soon?"

‘Just not today… Can you give me some more time, please. I am not ready yet. I… I am sorry’ Nayeon seems panic again. You know although Nayeon has accepted your proposal yesterday, but it is because you are too aggressive and she does not has the time to think about what you say. If she has more time to consider again, and if the worst case that she tells Jeongyeon what you told her, your plan will fail. You need to see her again in person, you know you need to make sure she is convinced.

"Come tomorrow, Nayeon. I know seeing you would make my recovery go faster." You tell her as you look into her eyes through the phone. "I want to see you tomorrow. I want to be together again." You say pushing her for more.

‘I will come at weekend, it’s not convivence when Jeongyeon is here. I don’t wanna let her know about us, you know she doesn’t like you…’ Nayeon answers after thinking a long time, but you are happy that she still care about your feel when it relays to Jeongyeon.

‘Take more rest, and wait for me… I want to see a healthy you…’ You can see Nayeon’s eyes starts to red. ‘Nayeon, I would not die before I see you again.’ You try to make a joke to cheer her up, however she seems not getting it.

‘It’s not fun!’ Nayeon yells immediately, you could see her deadly glaze through the phone.

You smile at Nayeon, "I'm happy you'll come and see me, Nayeon. I love you. I guess I should let you get going then." You wave goodbye and wait for her to end the call.

#minasaiyatis #twice smut #nayeon smut #jihyo smut #twice nayeon #twice jihyo #twice imagines #kpop smut #girl group smut #female idol smut

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rainthespiritual · 2 months

Text

pt 1 , pt 2

Pre-death Tate Langdon fic PART TWO

btw some trigger warnings for the series as a whole are deffinetly: drug abuse, depression, suicide, and topics similar to that even if they don't show up in this specific part THEY WILL EVENTUALLY so I just want yall to be warned ty

TRIGGER WARNING : Tate langdon is a tw tbh and American horror story in general, smoking, talk of abusive dad and family slightly(it'll be talked abt more in other parts), angst, this part is more tame that the other parts will be, and alot of talk on bullying and angsty teen bullshit yk the drill

summery: Tate invited you to his house and talked to you about wanting to be friends again!

sorry if this is bad I didn't get to edit it cuz im using my phone PLZ ENJOY LETS GET INTO IT YUH

"Meet me here again tommorow, same time."

His words have been repeating in your head since yesterday. I mean yeah almost being caught by a teacher scared you shitless... and you didn't want it to happen again but it seemed almost worth it. the way he makes you feel is worth it. I mean this is the most validated you've felt in months.

You are pulled back to reality, to the smell of musty books and to the sound of the library, "___ you aren't listening again." sighing at your so called friend. you almost snap at her but she continues before you can knowing she now has your attention again. the sound of a distant clock ticking puts you more at ease as you try not to get too deppressed. The library is usually a nice safe space for you but sometimes you are followed, but you just have to deal with it. she goes on for a while before saying something that actually causes you to look up at her,

"Do you see that guy staring at me." she waves her head and your eyes meet Tates. he's sitting down at a distant table with a book in his hands but it's clear he isn't reading it. He smiles when you notice him and its also clear he isn't looking at your friend. He's staring at you.

"Yeah I do Heather.." you break eye contact with him hoping the hotness you feel in your cheeks isn't them turning red. Tate also stops looking in your direction and his attention goes to the book.

"I mean he's cute but he's all quiet and weird, ya know? ..kinda like you." she smiles as you sigh. you aren't quiet she just won't let you get a word in. You look back to the table where Tate was at but he is gone, you look around wondering if he was still in the library but there is no sign of him. not even the book he was reading, he must have taken it. it is common for kids at your school to take books to the tables and leave them if they weren't interested or more likely if they were just trying to seem busy. Tho it being frowned upon it happens quite alot.

"I've gotta go." You gather your things and start to stand.

"..where do you have to go?" Heather your friend scoffs slightly thinking you have nothing better to do.

"I've gotta go to the bathroom actually so.. And class is starting soon, see ya." with that you leave almost as fast as you did yesterday, mostly to avoid more questioning and bitching.

It almost being time to meet Tate you make your way to the bathroom you both were at yesterday. its pretty early but it's nice to have some thinking time. you stare at the door listening making sure no one is coming your way. you'd get questioned deffinetly, especially class starting so soon.. you fidget waiting for the bell to ring but it feels like time is going by way slower than it is. After thinking for a while and the bell not ringing still you decide to go in early, I mean maybe no one's in there? like Tate said almost no one ever comes this way. or maybe Tates there early too? maybe that's why he left the library so soon..

"Tate..?" you walk in slowly praying no one other than Tate is in this bathroom. You cautiously have your eyes closed just incase.

"___?.. You're early, hey." you open your eyes to find a nervous looking Tate.

"Hey yeah I am... is- is that okay, or?" you take a deep breath, the bathroom smells like harsh chemicals and it slightly irritates your nose. "Yeah no its fine, just surprised me is all." what he says makes you feel better and you look up to see him smiling at you, his eyes are red and watery and hes repeatedly wiping his nose.

"is there anything wrong?" you ask genuinely concerned. You seem to notice a wave of sadness on his face, or maybe it was just the smell of this bathroom you felt it irritating your eyes so maybe the same was happening to him? or maybe he was sad, he did tend to look sad. remembering all the small times you looked at him in the halls or at him if he was in the same room as you, he was sad. or atleast not smiling.

"Nothing at all, now that you're here." he walks closer to you, looking down at you.

"me? what do you mean?" you knew exactly what he meant, it just felt so surreal that this tall blonde good smelling guy that just so happened to go to school with you they you also used to be friends with could say this. I mean who would have known. all the boys you were used to interacting with never payed that kind of attention to you.

"I just mean I'm glad you're here. what else would I mean?" you smile again enjoying him saying these things. the validation you felt made you feel great, and he knew exactly what to do to make you feel special. not to say he was lying or anything, he wasn't. His confidence radiated off of him and he knew just what to say.

"well you could mean alot of things." he smirks at your response before pausing.

"Here, sit with me again." He climbs up on the sinks, making sure they aren't wet with his sleeve first. you notice a brownish red stain on his sleeve and decide whether ot not to bring it up. you choose to ignore it climbing up next to him. you take a deep breath noticing how your nose is now used to the harsh chemical smell that is all around the both of you.

"I'm surprised you came," he states looking into your eyes, a weird wave of guilt builds up in your stomach remembering how well you two got along. you truly regret not talking to him and hope you can make up for all the time you two have lost together.

" you know... I think about you all the time." he pushes a section of your hair behind your ear, admiring your face again.

you smile wider at him focusing on his pretty brown eyes. They are so dark and mysterious its not even funny. you also take notice of how dark his undereyes are, he must be tired.

"Is that why you were looking at me earlier? " you nervously smirk watching as he gets up off the counter to stand infront of you.

"we should go to my house." he places his arms on the counter making it so he is looking down on you slightly.

"your house?" you gulp.

"yep, my house," he nods, "we'd have fun I swear. I mean no one's even home." this catches you off guard. I mean a boy inviting you to his house was the last thing you expected to happen. Especially at school, a boy is not only inviting you to his house hes inviting you to ditch school with him at his house.. while no one's home.

"Sure, fuck it!" He leaves first making sure no one is around, you sneak out thanking God no one is around. and somehow you guys make it out without being caught. He leads you and you start to get nervous.

"is- is your house close or?" you gulp feeling a tad bit guilty. You've never missed school on purpose before.

"Actually I was thinking of going somewhere first.." he smirks and puts his hand around your shoulders.

"oh.. where?" the ideas of where he could bring you excited you slightly. The air was clear and the sun was hiding behind some clouds. its a gloomy day yet you were glad you were getting to spend it with Tate, something about him hypnotized you and made you feel ways you never felt before.

"The beach, trust me it's cool. especially on days like this.." he smirks more putting your hand in his, his warm soft touch made you blush. You never felt this way about anyone, he made you feel special.

You both walk in silence just enjoying eachothers company until you make it to the beach. You both sat in the sand admiring the ocean and the gloomy sky.

"do you play hookey alot?" you ask smiling already knowing he often does, you just didn't know what else to say.

"just when I get bored, or sad I guess.. I like to come here, y'know when everything gets too much? I come here.." he sighs looking off into the sea, his eyes are shining with the water and you can't help but to admire his beauty.

"No, I totally get that. I get sad alot too, thats why I go to the library. Usually no one follows me." he frowns looking away in the distance making you unable to look in his eyes anymore.

"y'know.. I don't get why you hang out with those assholes, it's clear they give zero shits about you. all they care about is themselves, even I can tell you that." you frown along with him, you want to tell him off but you can't bring yourself to because in the end... he's right. they don't and never cared about you. they never listen to you about your problems or your feelings. It's always about them them them.

"I know.. that's exactly how it is.. but I have no one else, I'm too scared to be alone." you open up a bit to him about how you feel hoping he will actually listen.

"you wouldn't be alone ___, I'd hang out with you. I mean trust me I'm cooler than all those bitches combined!" he laughs knowing he made you smile.

"then I guess I won't be hanging around them anymore. I got you now." you both smile walking the rest of the way to his house, talking about your past and goofing off.

#ahs #evan peters #american horror story #ahs fandom #tate langdon #ahs tate langdon #tate langdon x y/n #tate langdon x you #tate langdon x reader #tate langdon fanfic #tate ahs #tate langdon slaying it ONCE AGAIN #i am cringe but i am free #angst #tate langdon being a sexy smexy baddie rjdjdjdjd #i might have a problem #tate langdon is flowing thru my veins #PLEASE GIVE ME REQUESTS OR SUGGESTIONS FOR HEADCANNONS AND FANFIC plz

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yellowroseswrites · 11 months

Text

"That's my thing, right sweetheart?"

Soft!Rafe Cameron x depressed!reader

You want to try something new, Rafe definitely does not like that idea

TW- {SO many drug mentions I swear please skip this if that's a trigger for you, no actual drug use in this tho, it mentions reader smoking weed but it doesn't have an actual scene of it, I think its gn reader but it's not proofread, written on mobile, one use of y/n, reader is sensitive, on the edge of crybaby reader, reader is fairly skiddish, I really need to post things that people actually request instead of crappy 800 word drabbles but here we are! hope you enjoy, remember to drink water and eat a little smth lovelies}

Yesterday Rafe came back home from Barry's house, which usually meant he got stuff.

You were never one to join in his drug habits. You've never done anything stronger than weed, and even that was very rare for you. You wouldn't even call yourself a drinker, to be honest you were a goody two shoes compared to your boyfriend.

But something about today just felt off. You had felt like that for awhile now actually, like something just wasn't right but you couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. You just knew you didn't like the feeling, and you were willing to try something new to make it go away.

That's what led you to going through Rafe's pockets. He was in the shower, having thrown his clothes haphazardly on his bedroom floor. You knew he kept his little baggies in his shorts, and he wasn't watching you right now, certainly it wouldn't be hard to just look? Just take a peak, maybe just knowing you could would satisfy your mind.

You found a small bag, you pulled it out to make sure it was what you wanted. Sure enough, it was filled with white powder, some that you were all too familiar with. You had seen Rafe do it a million times, it couldn't be that hard right? All you would have to do is sniff, at least that's what you thought. You were stuck in your mind, contemplating whether or not you actually wanted to do it, when a hand grabbed yours, earning a small yelp from you.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He sounded mad, he was really trying not to, but it certainly didn’t work.

You stepped back a bit, cowering, “N-nothing, sorry.” You choked up a little, regretting the decision to even look in the first place.

Rafe took the bag from your hand and put it in the bedside drawer, making a mental note to take it out after you talk. He looked back over at you, now seated on the edge of the bed, and he let out a sigh.

"I wasn't gonna do anything with it Rafe, I promise." You really wanted the uncomfortable feeling in the room to go away.

He scratched at his forehead, "Then why were you holding it hm? What are you gonna do, throw it? Or hide it? It's my own personal business y/n you have no right deciding what I do with it."

Oh, You thought, He thinks I'm getting rid of it. You hated seeing him like this, so mad and paranoid. "No! No it wasn't like that I-"

"What was it like then? What other explanation is there for you going through my stuff?"

"I was gonna take it! I don't know I-" You weren't supposed to be crying, God, this is so stupid, "I don't know Rafe I wanted to do it but I knew you wouldn't let me so I just-"

"Oh honey-" His demeanor softened immediately at the sight of your tears, he quickly made his way to you, wrapping his arms around you while he spoke, "I'm sorry I got mad, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. I'm not angry at you."

You wiped your eyes, "I'm so tired Rafey"

"I know darling, I know. We're gonna get you help, something a bit better than coke tho alright? That's my thing, right sweetheart?" You giggled a bit at him, he was clearly trying to lighten the mood.

You wordlessly moved yourself to your side of the bed, sliding your body under the covers. Moments of high-emotion made you so sleepy, it was second nature to nap after crying. Rafe slid into the spot next to you, throwing his arm over your body and pulling you in close. He would hid the bag tomorrow, and would keep a close eye on you until he knew how to help you. Having you in his arms was enough for him for now though as he let himself drift asleep to the sound of your steady breathing.

#comfort fics #yellowroseswrites #x reader #x reader fic #comfort blurb #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron comfort #soft rafe cameron #depressed reader

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lizandbo · 2 years

Note

hi:)

could i request a scenario with mha boys where the reader is midsize and she is a foodie. she like cooking in the dorm kitchen, but her bf notices her not cooking as much and feeling self-conscious. srry if it sounds stupid :) <3

OML NO IT DOEST SOUND STUPID I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AHHHH

thankyou for requesting<333 i literally squealed when someone actually requested something :,) sorry if its long tho lol

Masterlist

if you wanna request other things go ahead!

katsuki

Since you like to cook and katsu is good at cooking, yall can have lil dinner dates yk?

anyways yeah katsuki doesnt care if you eat like 6-8 times a day n make a lot of food

whatever makes you happy and comfy is what he wants for you

Usually you make food for the two of you in the afternoons, a mini date(?)

he spots you in the dorm kitchen and makes his way over to you; snaking his arms around your plush waist, putting his head on your neck

Katsu observes the food that your stirring rn and goes:

“Are you making a plate for yourself y/n?”

“Yeah..?”

“Why’s it such a small damn batch then?”

“Im just… I guess im not that hungry today”

“Damn nitwit you think I dont notice? yesterday you only ate itty bitty snack. now today your portion of the food is rat sized shit”

he left the silence for you to answer, which you didnt really wanna answer since katsuki would quite literally explode if you told him the truth

“Theres nothing to worry about i just kinda got off tack the last two days ig”

“…fine”

the next couple days hasnt been any better

he saw you scrolling through tumblr, but around this time you were eating or at least both at the same time

“y/n stop fucking with me”

you: 😀❓

“tf do you mean”

“Im not blind y/n you stopped eating, this isnt like you”

he was practically towering over you while you were sitting on the bed

Kat stared in the middle of your gorgeous soul

“speak damnit..”

“… do you like me this way?”

“What?”

“Like.. big? and i know eating all the time wont help either”

“This is the most dumbassery I've ever encountered in my whole life, it doesnt matter to me if you are bigger than most people. the only damn thing that matters is the person who you are in the inside… im not tryna be sappy damnit”

katsu crossed his arms “now, were going to eat your f/f whether you like it or not” he grabbed your hand and dragged you to the kitchen to have a lil dinner/ cooking date

throughout the dinner/cooking date he said lil reassuring words to you to help out your insecurity

kirishima

^ this is basically how he acts after sparring

Kiri hugs you from the back placing gentle kisses on your neck, going up down n across the nape

the gesture tickles you a bit, scrunching your shoulders up a bit

he squeezes you, loving the way that your whole body feels like a pillow

“How about we go out and eat today?”

“But its really expensive, i can just make something quick for you”

Kiri squishes you even more and basically hops on the couch with you still in his arms “but we can get all the food that we want tho!”

All you wanted to do is just run away, laser all the fat off and just be done with it and feel like a ‘normal’ person, without feeling like your being judged all the time

“Yeahh but we can also eat something… more healthy”

“but you always love to eat with me! whats wrong?”

“Idk i just dont feel like it today”

“Its ok, somedays are just like that”

he kisses you quickly and yall stay and cuddle there for a bit

eventually you guys pick up some snacks together

even just picking out something or mentioning food just makes you go uneasy and eiji notices

for the whole week you havent been doing your normal cooking, just simple quick snacks after school and avoiding eating out

kiri realizes he has to do something bout this

“hey baby?”

you were sitting at the table, scribblin things down

“did you eat today?”

“Yeah i ate some cereal and thats about it”

😐 “baby no you gotta eat more, why dont you cook for us!”

you continued scribbling

“But i dont need to eat more do you even know what i look like??”

“Yes i do and its a wonderful sight”

“Eijiro no”

“Eijiro yes!”

“wtf is wrong with you kiri”

“I look like a bloated walrus or a whale about to explode”

“No you do not look”

he squat down to your tummy, lifted the fabric that was covering it kissed it a bunch of times n nuzzling and everything

your cheeks got heated really fast by the action

he looked up to you “see? you got nothing to be ashamed of, its a really nice pillow” he went to your chest and nuzzled that too “and heres your really sweet personality”

he hugs you really tightly and kisses at the crown of your head and his hands goes to your cheeks and squishing them too

“your so cute, you know that?”

“Shush”

yall ended up cooking together, mostly you tho

“Your like a wizard in the kitchen!”

“And your the goblin that never learned how to cook”

“Damn y/n ig someones grouchy”

after yall are done making the food he spoonfed you, making sure that you felt loved and understood

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cuntypyramidhead · 6 months

Note

Love your writing so much! I was just having an idea atm, so I hope it’s fine requesting stuff

Reading the Yandere Springtrap series (which I really enjoy ♥️🙏), reader asked if he’s a person in one part.

What if reader wanted to open his face in curiosity tho? What would he do and if he DID open his face, would he sometimes scare reader?

Ooo I like this idea, thanks! I'll just turn this into the next chapter. I changed it a bit, and used it only as a way to scare her.

This hasn't been proof read, so it might not be the best. Anyway, enjoy the year late chapter. Also sorry it's not super long.

The new nightguard Chapter 10 (Yandere Springtrap x f!reader)

--------

The familiar footsteps was heard from behind the door. The sound of metal hitting the old, wooden stairs. A sense of dread often fell on you whenever you heard it. Maybe it was just as a result of him being the only person you've seen over the past.... how long? You couldn't keep track of time down there. No windows, no clocks, not even a damn calender. It was boring, the same old thing over and over again. You craved for something different, whether it be something small or dramatic.

The sounds of keys jingling alerted you from your thoughts, and a few seconds later, he appeared into the room once again. He brought some gifts into the room, like some new clothes he got from... some victims.

"Here, this should make you feel a bit better. I... I'm starting to understand how you feel now." He says, glancing at reader. Y/n noticed how his eyes You aren't just something I can use, and... I'm sorry."

Y/n sat their on the mattress stunned, what makes him think you'd forgive him over something so horrid? What he said about your family, what he'd do to them. You knew you were still falling down the hole, the hole of Stockholm syndrome. But regardless of how much you tried to push it aside, those feelings never fully left. You were afraid of them clouding your ability to see him for what he truly is.

"We had such a nice day yesterday, but you had to fucking ruin it! I was starting to like you, but in the end, I'll always see what you're fucking like. I couldn't care less about what you give me. You disgust me. You're a fucking monster, you truly are rotten inside and out. You deserve all the hell which you've been through you sick fuck!"

You snapped, every single thought, emotion you've experienced spilled out. You couldn't hold it in, you realised it was too late when you saw him rush towards you. He gripped you by the neck, throwing you against the wall. Pain radiated all throughout your skull, putting you in absolute agony. You cried out, afraid of what he'd do. That horrific, scary suit, the rotten meat that clung to the metal skeleton making you realise further what is in front of you. You now had a good look at him, how he truly was once a human. How did a person become this? Something which was flesh and blood, had emotions and memories, close relationships, was a fucking corpse in a suit. You wanted to know what was underneath, but you had a feeling you'd regret it.

He put pressure on your neck, you knew it was going to bruise. You felt his hands slowly put more and more pressure on your neck, making it more difficult for you to breathe. You kicked at him, but you knew it was no use as he was much taller and heavier than you. After all, he's made of metal, you never had a chance.

As your vision became blurry, you started to accept your fate. Freedom, finally. What's the point in living if you're going to be surrounded by the same four walls? You let your hands drop from his, there was no point in fighting back. He looked at your face, realising what he was doing. The defeated look scared him. Springtrap didn't like that look on you at all. It didn't fit you, it felt wrong seeing you in a position like this. Although he wanted to tear you apart, he knew that he'd regret it. Springtrap let you fall to the floor.

In a way, he wanted to let you down gently, but he was still frustrated and upset with what you had said.

"Doll... we had a discussion yesterday. You should know better."

Y/n struggling to catch her breath, coughing repeatedly, her hands touching her neck. He had slightly cut her neck from the wires which were peaking from his hands.

"Darling?" Springtrap said, looking at her bloody hands. He felt panicked, "Darling!" He wrapped his arms around her, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have hurt you. I love you so much, I'm so sorry! I didn't think." His voice was full of panic.

Springtrap stood up and walked to the bathroom, grabbing some medical supplies. He went back over to Y/n, seeing her still panting, not moving from shock. He knelt down, and opened the small metal box. He pulled out some disinfectant, then poured it onto a cotton ball. He then slowly patted it over her cuts. Y/n didn't wince from the pain, only staring into the distance. Springtrap then but a bandage over it, making sure that it won't come off.

Springtrap then held Y/n, knowing he absolutely fucked up and wasn't sure how to fix the mess he created. Y/n and Springtrap stayed together for an hour, y/n still not wanting to look at him at all. He disgusted them.

Springtrap started to become frustrated with how Y/n barely moved, didn't say a word. Their eyes were so empty, it angered him. Nothing he did satisfied them. They never responded, they just stared. It couldn't have been that bad, right? He's done worse before, why can't they just move on? He provided everything for them, he protected them from the outside world, gave them expensive gifts and love.

"Y/n?" He shook them

"Y/n, you've been silent for a while now."

"Y/n for fuck sake answer me!" He said making them face him. Even though he raised his voice, Y/n just turned away. Springtrap tried his hardest to not hurt them again, knowing it'd make things worse. He wanted to hit her, he really did. But he loved her. He wanted her to love him back.

"Please, just respond to me! I'm fucking sorry."

Y/n turned away, just not caring anymore. All the truly wanted was to die, to simply get away from here. Nothing provided them joy. They just felt.... so empty. They couldn't care less what happened anymore.

They just wanted it all to end.

"Y/n, you'll regret this. I'll fucking hurt them."

Y/n gave Springtrap an unamused glance, the thought hurt them, but in the end, they just couldn't do this anymore.

"Do you want to go for a walk? Yesterday was nice, wasn't it?"

He nudged Y/n, but when he didn't get a response, he got up and walked towards the door.

"Fucking last chance Y/n, you'll either fucking love me, or I'll kill your family. I'm not doing this with you. I'm not going to play your pathetic game."

Y/n just gave him a sad look and turned away, staring at the concrete walls.

Springtrap sighed at the response, then opened the door and walked out. He knew she'd hate him, but he tried so much. It didn't go anywhere.

----

Springtrap did some research, with the application for applying to the job, he found her address. It was so painfully easy. The shitty company had no protection for the individuals who applied to the job. At least no one would have any use for this anymore, besides Springtrap. Y/n was simply someone who used to be. People probably think she's dead. He wondered if they connected the dots yet. The workers knew he lived in the abandoned pizzeria. It'd be amusing if they hadn't. It was difficult to find the place while staying undercover, making sure people didn't spot him. It was late at night and dark, so it was unlikely. It was also pouring down with rain and thunder.

Eventually, he found the place. There was a crappy car at the front, the paint was peeling off and dirty. The overall house looked fine at the front of the place. The grass was kept mown, and the building looked newish, probably built in the past 5 years.

Springtrap attempted the front door, and it wouldn't budge. He then walked around towards the back, and tried with the door. He knew he'd have to pick the lock, causing him to sigh. He hoped it wouldn't wake them up, otherwise it would make things much more difficult and irritating. He had no doubt he could take them down, it would just be leaving the area which would be a nightmare if the police became aware.

Eventually, it unlocked, and the door opened with ease and little noise. Springtrap looked around the bottom floor, a few cans of beer was on the floor. He guessed the family was struggling. There were a few bottles on one of the shelves in the dining room. Some seemed to be half empty or less.

He started to walk up the stairs, hoping that he wouldn't have to deal with any creaking. Unfortunately, because of the suit, it did creak underneath him. However, there was loud snoring which seemed as though it helped to cover the noise, so as the crackling thunder.

Once he found the room, he looked over at Y/n's parents. "So you're the peoples she's so desperate for, huh?" He murmured under his breath, knowing it wouldn't wake either of them. Springtrap moved over towards the bed. He pulled out his knife, then plunged it into the fathers chest. The mother seemed to instantly wake up, but Springtrap held her down, slicing her throat. The father attempted to hit Springtrap, but that wouldn't do anything to him. He was much larger and stronger than the man next to him. Springtrap raised the knife, enjoying the fear and pain in the mans eyes. He stabbed the man in the head, ending the mans suffering.

Springtrap stood up, relieved that they didn't make much noise. It was beneficial having a thunderstorm occur at the same time, as it made this much quicker and less difficult.

He cut the heads off both of them, which was rather difficult with the knife he was using as it wasn't as sharp as he would've liked. He took note on doing that later.

He put them both in one of the plastic bags which were on the floor. He could hardly wait to get his darlings attention again. She'd be traumatised for a while, but thankfully she'd eventually fall for him, and be grateful for what he's done for her.

Springtrap walked down the street, the blood washing away from his suit. It was rather dirty, but he couldn't often do much about it. He knew he'd have to fix it up some day. If he was going to be stuck in this hell for the rest of eternity, might as well make it a tad bit more comfortable and appealing.

It took a while to get back to the house as it was rather far away. Once he arrived, he opened the door and stepped in. He had a thought of possibly cleaning the place later, maybe he could bring up Y/n. They might be able to live a bit happier. She had nothing to cling onto anymore, any hope of leaving this place. He might do some more research later into possibly any other family that may be alive. He'd take care of them too if there were to be. Springtrap opened the basement door and stepped inside.

Y/n glanced over at him, noticing tiny specs of blood. Most of it was gone, but there still were small stains. Y/n remembered what he said yesterday, panic instantly settled in.

"What did you do?!"

Springtrap smirked, "Oh darling, don't you remember what I said yesterday?"

"No...." Y/n mumbled, tears welling up in her eyes. "You didn't...."

Springtrap laughed, then dropped the bag. Both of the heads rolled out. Y/n instantly moved back against the wall, a loud scream escaping from her.

"NO! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!"

He grabbed her by the chin, she tried to turn her head away, but he pressed harder, forcing her to look at him.

"You have nothing left but me. You have to love me now. There's nothing left out there for you! Besides me!" Springtrap wrapped his arms around her. "Its just you and me now. If there's anyone else I'll find them. I will make sure you have no reason to leave this place. If you try to, I'll break your legs once again, I will make you so disgusting no one could ever be attracted to you besides me. You'll only be loved by me. I'll be the only one capable of loving someone like you."

Y/n cried hysterically, she didn't want this anymore. She couldn't do this. She couldn't live with herself. What could she even do? She truly felt as though there was no reason to live.

"Just fucking kill me, please. I don't want to do this anymore! Just do it already!" Y/n screamed, pathetically hitting him.

"Doll, that's not going to happen. Isn't it obvious? I love you so much. I'm risking myself everyday getting you new gifts to make you happier. I give you all the attention you need. You don't want to die! Why would you? Is none of this fucking good enough for you?" Springtrap raised his voice, hitting the wall right next to her head. Bits of concrete fell off onto the mattress.

Y/n didn't feel afraid, she wanted this. "You think any of this would make me happy? You ruined my life! You took everything for me! Do it, you freak, fucking do it already!"

Springtrap gritted his teeth, knowing what Y/n was trying to do. He sighed, sitting down next to her. "Oh darling, I won't let you get to me."

----

Springtrap kept attempting to get attention from Y/n. He wanted to spend time with her, but kept getting shut down which was making him frustrated.

"Do you want to go outside with me?

Y/n looked away, rolling her eyes.

"No."

"Want to watch a movie?"

"Fuck off."

Springtrap grabbed her wrist roughly, dragging her up. "You're going to fucking spend time with me. Got it?"

"Fuck no, why would I want to spend time with something like you. You're a fucking monster."

"You think I'm a fucking monster huh? I'll fucking show you how much of a monster i am." Springtrap pulled off his mask, showing the rotting face beneath it.

"Oh my god-"

"I'll fucking make you like me. I'll fucking force you to suffer like I have. You won't ever escape me then. You won't have a choice anymore, you'll be constantly under my control. What's your choice, hmm? Love me willingly, or I'll force you to."

#fnaf x reader #yandere springtrap #yandere #yandere fnaf #yandere x reader #Yandere springtrap x reader

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the-crimson · 8 months

Text

Ok so after writing my observations yesterday on q!bbh’s delusions about the egg photos and reading this post by the wonderful @kadextra I started thinking about the relationship between q!bbh’s self harm and his delusions.

Both are coping methods for the immense pain of losing the eggs and q!bbh’s failure to protect them. Gonna put an early cut cuz I’m gonna be talking about self harm and suicide idealization so if these are triggering topics, take care of urself and read at ur own pace.

There are hundreds of different reasons (often subconscious) why people commit acts of self harm but some of the more common ones are cries for help, externalizing internal pain, and punishing oneself. I think bbh’s self harming tendencies steam from all three, in addition to a general lack of self worth but that is nothing new to mr I popped 25 totems no big deal.

The eggs are bbh’s world and he failed them. When he first fed himself to the vultures, it was only a couple days after the eggs had vanished. Long enough for the hope that they’d return to fade and for the reality of the situation to sink in. They are gone. He failed them.

Bad may have justified it to himself that he was continuing Dapper’s work but deep down he was punishing himself for failing by physically destroying his body in addition to externalizing his internal pain. Now what do I mean by that? Internal/emotional pain can feel irrational and helpless because it’s all inside. Physically hurting oneself gives a person an element of control over their pain and a justification for why everything hurts. It makes it easier to manage even tho this is incredibly dangerous and unhealthy. When life or emotions feel out of control, self harm can feel revolutionary and like you are taking your agency back. Brains are weird.

Bad fed himself to the soul vultures for two weeks before he stopped. At first, he was in their spawning area seemingly collecting soul hearts - even though there was no need because Dapper collected over a stack of them. Then, he moved to Ron’s cell where he allowed the vultures to eat him while Ron watched/listened. In both instances, bbh has a “logical” reason for doing what he’s doing but the moment you think about it for two seconds his reasoning falls apart because the true purpose is self harm. Dapper already collected a bunch of the hearts and there are a million different ways bbh could psychologically torture Ron besides actively hurting himself as well.

All of this is also a desperate cry for help. Bad doesn’t hide the wounds the vultures left and even after he stopped letting them eat him, the wounds continue to get worse. Whatever the vultures did to him/bad did to himself has left a very visible indication that he is deteriorating quickly. Everyone has told him there is something wrong and he doesn’t try to hide it or cover up what has them worried. Bad doesn’t notice because he can’t, because he doesn’t care, because he doesn’t matter. But it is a clear indication to others that something is deeply wrong and he needs help even if he’d be kicking and screaming trying to resist.

Another common reason for self harm occurs when someone has severe depression. Depression isn’t just “I’m sad”. Depression is “I feel nothing”. My mom once described it as literally the world loses its color. When Foolish lit bbh on fire and Bad said something along the lines of thanks I can feel something - it was played as a joke but that is a legit thing. Some people commit acts of self harm just so they feel something. Feeling something is better than nothing. At least then you know ur alive. I can also see this being a factor in bbh’s self harming practices.

What interests me the most is when Bad stops letting the vultures eat him: when he starts indulging in his delusions about the eggs in the photos. He trades one coping method for another.

Instead of externalizing the pain and punishing himself, he enters a fantasy where the pain doesn’t exist because the eggs are right here. He gives himself a moment of respite from the pain so that he has the strength to continue carrying it. But as we saw, this eroded his ability to tell reality from fiction and lead to a full blown dissociative mental break down.

Then what happens a couple days after his break down? We see him once again allowing a vulture to attack him. He’s leading it around like a pet in broad daylight. Yesterday was incredibly triggering for bbh because he was forced to face the dead eggs as well as his eggs that are missing/may wind up dead any moment. If Aypierre hadn’t accidentally triggered bbh’s break a few days ago I definitely think this would have triggered it. Not only talking to the dead eggs but being faced with the possibility that Bad might be digging seven more graves soon would be more than enough to break him.

Bad’s self harm in this instance was a grounding method. To keep him here, in the present. Who knows how long he spent on the church roof preparing himself for visiting the dead eggs. He was literally sitting there trying to stop himself from dissociating because he knew how important it was to keep the egg’s memory alive. He knew how much it meant to Dapper.

The fact that bbh risked everyone finding out about Dapper’s soul vultures just so he could keep himself present enough to visit the eggs is insane. His priorities are so incredibly skewed and we see this in everything he does. He is both completely blind to the consequences of his actions while intensely aware of the spiderweb he’s weaving across the island. He doesn’t care if anything happens to him and fully expects himself to die at some point. He doesn’t care about potentially spilling Dapper’s soul vulture secret because he’s already let the cat out of the bag on scanners. He doesn’t care if Dapper hates him for revealing their secrets. All he cares about is Dapper coming back safe and sound - with or without Bad.

I honestly think a part of Bad wants to die. This whole experience has hurt him so much that I don’t think he thinks there is a way back. Even if the eggs return, his failure remains and all the drastic measures he’s taken can’t be erased. Tragedy follows bbh everywhere he goes. He has painted history with blood. Maybe he thinks dying to save the kids will redeem him in some way. I doubt bbh will actually die or die permanently but the character definitely plans on sacrificing and potentially dying one way or another. All he needs to do is hold out long enough for his plan to come to fruition which means employing what ever coping methods he can to survive his grief, but once it’s done… idk and I don’t think bbh knows either.

Now we’ll just have to see what bbh does next. If he continues self harming with the vultures or indulging in delusions or tries something new and more desperate/dangerous. I trust at the end of all this cc!bbh will give us a happy ending but it’s always darkest before the dawn and I feel like we’ve got a lot of night left.

#qsmp #crimson speaks #tw self harm #tw suicide mention #q!badboyhalo #I am both terrified and excited to see what happens next #he’s only gonna get worse

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 30 days

Note

hi miss L, i have a spiritual/religious question and i don't know anyone else who could answer it.... since i was a kid i've been attracted to tarot, spirituality, mystical explanations of the worlds workings, astrology, all that good stuff. i never used to connect my spirituality to a single higher power, and i never had any issues with this. for a few years i've been wanting more than just a disturbingly accurate tarot spread and i feel compelled towards god. i'm not sure how to word it honestly! i keep getting messages all around me telling me the saint that watches over me, and that god is there too. so here's my issue.

whenever i reach out and pray or do any kind of ritual or reach out specifically to god or a saint, my life immediately starts going haywire. yesterday i set up a small shrine in my room for my dead kitty since i've been feeling better about her passing and i prayed a little. i asked for sign that i was going in the right direction, and hours after i prayed, our sink plumbing got clogged, my cat (living) ran out and had to be caught, my mom dropped a whole bowl of food, and i wasn't able to pick up groceries bc the bank cards wouldnt work. this never happens in my household, we've been joking that we're cursed. this happens everytime i try to reach out to god. the worst time was when my mom lost her job, dad crashed his car, and i kept having panic attacks out of the blue for a week. i freaked out and took everything i said back and bathed in salt water for hours hoping i could cleanse whatever happened to me. it worked and my life was back to normal the next day.

do you have any advice? i would love to put my trust in a higher power as i've never been religious before, but smthn is going wrong somehow.

thank you for reading, i love seeing you on the dash and your music is so soothing and nostalgic. much love!! <3 <3 <3 <3

so sweet, and caring, thankyou u//u...im sorry things have been difficult :< The following message does not in any way endorse the claim that i understand God, that God could ever be understood, or that any one of us should every try to understand the -inner workings- of God ! purely my feelings v v v

i relate to ur background cus i grew up w no religion, my parents didnt talk about any kind of woo-woo stuff, my dads dad was woo-woo AF and my dad haaaaated it so he rejected all of it so i was pree much just a blank slate. but for some reason i was just REALLY obsessed w magical thinking and the like. believed in god spirits nature deities angels demons magic aliens and i was totaly engrossed in ~my secret world~. i was kinda scared of religion tho i viewed it in a bad light since i was learning about it during the george bush post-9/11 era & for some reason my child self was rly interested in consuming critique of america , iraq war / westboro baptist church type stuff , from an outsider's perspective i saw religion as something american people used as justification for committing atrocities & crazy power trips , which, i mean.. anyways

it didnt help me trust God xD but many of my beliefs remained into my teens i just didnt have any outlet for them. so i got into astrology around 15/16, started learning more about tarot & occultish type things, crytstals, all those subjects intrigued me very much. but i felt the same way as you, like, something was still lacking from it, even when i got these super profound tarot readings, or read my birth chart a million times over looking for clues about ~wtf is this stupid life for~ , i never felt safe. never felt assured, never felt i could trust myself or my future. it was an odd period, early 20s. but then kinda same as u, as my knowledge on these topics expanded i started to notice the quality of Holiness a lot more. the more i learned about different religions the more i realized how connected it all was, and how religion connects to "the occult", and magic, light and dark, i find it very hard to put into words. i just started to find myself actually really earnestly believing in God in a way i never thought i could? Like reading the bible & being completely enthralled, i NEVER woulda thought. i started to feel way safer in the world even tho im still not "christian" technicaly. but i believe in jesus now and it makes me feel safe on a cellular level.

i believe the real jesus was wholly non judgemental and loved everyone no matter what, the thing that susses me out about Religious Institutions was always the judgement that can spawn from it. misses the point of everrything in my opinion.

its kinda wild actually cus when i used to be into like, trash reality tv ghost hunting shows, i remember there was one ep where this psychic was talking about how she always prays to jesus for protection before doing a reading or entering a haunted place. that really intrigued me cus i thought jesus and psychic automatically cancelled each other out. i think that moment rly opened up the rabbitehole and it was so mundane like wtf. still rememebr it tho!

sorry im really in a typing mood tonight.. So my next point was gonna be that, just because i started to really believe in god and jesus and really PRAY for protection & guidance, my life did not get easier xD like i would say the past 6 years have been nothing short of a shit show. my life was fucked before that too tho so its hard to compare, but still, its safe to say my shift in perspective actually brought a lot of chaos into mylife. the point of it, i feel, is that i had to dismantle it in order to truly Live in the frequency of trusting God. because this was new to me! i wanted to trust God, i put out the energy of seeking God, and God was like ok hold on tight..

So now i'm here all these years later like, oh yeah God is real and i love him and it's all real. it's CEMENTED into me lol. When i used to say i trust God it still felt like i was asking permission to be able to feel that way. but now i really really do. And messed up stuff will keep happening forever because there needs to be light & dark, there can't b one without the other. But now i have faith in a really personal way that i wld never attempt to transfer onto another like even by talking about these experiences & concepts i still feel like i don't want to prove anything. except that it's worth it to keep trying, i guess :]

and OK this is really just how i feel like take it with a grain of salt , but from what i've gathered, if you believe in energy entities & astral happenings & whatnot, well. it's my opinion that the invisible low frequency parasites that feed on many ppl's dread & fear, when they're attached to u and u begin to raise your vibration, they get very upset and throw a fit. like think of a demon being exorcised, u know, u imagine it having a total fit in a desperate fight for it's life. if ur appeasing the demon and letting it use you then of course it's going to keep things on an even keel, u kno?

taking a salt bath was a good thing to do tho like one of the best things <3 its also good to have crosses or your holy item of choice around the house, light white candles, organize clutter. pray a lot like every time u feel happy and safe or notice something beautiful say thanku to God.. talk to your angels and encourage them i pray a lot specifically to strengthen them, upgrade their armor n shih...i ask them to work for my loved ones, i try to be concentrated on them, visualize them around me all the time, visualize them standing guard outside every door. i feel this kinda stuff increases ur Holy EXP and over time your spiritual armor gets stronger, bad entities move on and things in life start really flow. the trust just has to b there first, and it will be, so long as u allow it <3

it just takes time, and like i said i dont want to prove anything or be The Convincer, but if u were already having feelings to go down this path i recommend not giving up and let God carry u through those tough situations instead of seeing them as an absence of God or God's Wrath. just keep praying cus it can't hurt right, even if it's just a way to occupy your mind with kind thoughts about your friends and family, there's no downside to prayer. its your own journey so u just gotta live it and feel it out ^^ but pls dont feel u are being punished by God or demons or anything else! So many "bad" things that happen end up being neutral or even "good" in the long run. We can never foresee the reasoning behind God's plan ~~~

yeah, this was a long one, wow...i drank a energy drink 12 hours ago i think it made me hyper.. well have a swell evening if ur reading this anon!! o also i liek to listen to psalms before bed to help me feel calm i feel like it helps bring in angels. i think i will do so now, thanks for the Q i hope things improve for u very soon. Good night anon < 3 3 3 PMD 9

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valittlecorner · 10 months

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☆ Here's why we should talk more about 'Back off' and it's impact on Kanata's character ☆

- Okay, as a certified Back Off lover you guys SHOULD appreciate it more. Not only cause the song itself is good, but also for the LYRICS. They're so important for Kanata as a character (We're making this about the blorbo again❤️). As you all know by now, Cozmez songs have very similar lyrics, mostly talking about their struggles on the streets, and Back off isn't an exception. BUT! The lyrics here are actually amazing to analyze and better understand where Kanata was coming from in the Live VD. Let me enlighten you.

☆ We're focusing on Nayuta's parts in the pre choruses for this!! Keep in mind this is from Exhibition Show, so this Nayuta is still an illusion created by Kanata.

—⁠ First prechorus*⁠.⁠✧

"All the enemies we kicked down from our road, our wounds from the past may never be erased. But we won't make it fade, this daydream. We won't look back, come on now we gotta go"

- I think this is pretty self explanatory. But let's highlight the most important part.

"But we won't make it fade, this daydream".

- Alright! Since this is Kanata's self made lyrics, we can assume some stuff. If I recall correctly, Exhibition show was just before Live. And we know that across the story Kanata got a few hints that slowly unlocked the trauma of Nayu's death. While this memory was buried deep in Kanata's subconscious as self defence to deal with the Trauma, he was constantly acting and saying things clearly influenced by the fact. POINT IS, Kanata probably wrote these lyrics subconsciously, knowing deep inside this Nayuta was an illusion and he was living "A Daydream" he didn't want to fade. If he WAS self aware, the Nayu Illusion would've disappeared right away, so this def was an accident. So this is, once again, a little peek into Kanata's subconscious mind. And the way this line was given to Nayuta is probs coincidence on Kanata's line distributions, something very accurate he did without thinking it was important. One can do so many things without thinking about it, but all our actions are defined by our Souls to put it simply. And that's the case with Kanata 99% of the time...

—⁠ Second prechorus*⁠.⁠✧

"The yesterday reflected on us too, it's all history. If you win, your dreams come true, it's all I need. Woo, Let's go, Tell me what you waiting for? (x2)

- THE MOST IMPORTANT LYRICS HERE. I'm not even highlighting a single part cause every part of this is important. I am dividing it tho

"The yesterday reflected on us too, it's all history."

- Now, I'm not sure if this one take can apply to these lyrics, but I'm saying it either way. With "the yesterday" I don't think we're talking solely about their life on the streets, but also about Nayu's death. This is more assumption than anything, but I think this refers to Nayu's death reflecting on Kanata as a person and being what made him create the illusion in the first place, and after its creation, Nayu's death became "history" since we have a direct replacement to pretend it never happened. Keeping in mind this is written by Kanata, we can blame his subconscious actions for this one (again). There's also something about most of these more meaningful lines being sung by Nayuta instead of Kanata that give me a feeling Kanata felt icky singing these, since they have bits of truth even if he couldn't notice at the moment, so he gave them to Nayuta instead. Now the next line will make this statement make more sense, trust me. ✊

"If you win, your dreams come true, it's all I need."

- This bit is satisfying in a sad way cause it directly ties to what Kanata says later in Live. Kanata talks about how he kept using Nayuta as an excuse to fulfill his own dreams, convincing himself he was doing everything for Nayuta. I've been saying the line distributions were probs made at random by Kanata, but I don't think this one was. Kanata WANTED fake Nayuta to sing this one to be reassured that he wasn't being selfish for trying to do something for himself without considering Nayu. This might make him sound like an insane guy, but please don't interpret it like that. Kanata IS traumatized, and back when this was made it was even worse (rn he's healing). He was just desperately trying to justify his actions and give himself a little comfort to feel better, I wouldn't want anyone to come out of this thinking badly about Kanata.

☆ Now I can't close the post without saying the writers are absolute GENIUSES for coming up with this. The way every single lyric can tie up to everything that happened after is insane. This is what I meant when saying "this helps you understand where Kanata was coming from in Live". Pararai literally had all the hints RIGHT THERE and most didn't even notice... This one song alone really helps you understand Kanata's coping mechanisms with hidden messages of his mind DESPERATELY trying to get him back on track, with Kanata just being extremely stubborn and ignoring every single signal until the illusion disappeared. And this is why Kanata is one of the best representations of what happens if you stay in stage 1 of the 5 stages of grief (Denial).

- Okay that's pretty much it!! This stupid ahh post deleted itself like 3 times cause tumblr is a bitch but anyways. Sorry for starving you and making you stand an unholy amount of spam LMAO I kinda ran out of content!! Currently accepting requests on charas to analyse cause I'm an expert with Cozmez but it'd be fun to figure out everyone else. Rn my most important projects are music analysis but those take a whiiile (shoutout a la persona que pidió el de Jumping into my world, sigo en eso😿🫶). But yeah that's pretty much it for now!! Thanks a lot for reading!!╰⁠(⁠*⁠´⁠︶⁠`⁠*⁠)⁠╯

#pararai #paradox live #cozmez #kanata yatonokami #valyheartskana #valittleanalysis

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