#I can't be the only one who thought of this stupid pun

[starry-bi-sky]

i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.

BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.

Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.

Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.

But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.

Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.

-

They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.

It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.

If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)

-

Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.

They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.

-

Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.

One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.

Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.

And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.

She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.

She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?

And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.

(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)

The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.

Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #danyal al ghul #its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT #this is the gist of it #i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper #and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it. #ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage #bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat #ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina #the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms #because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley. #and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore #like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and #haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where #siren type shit fr fr #look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat #on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth #he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason #and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina #the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays #a lullaby. #look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink #hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays. #hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly

[guillotinna]

I keep seeing these Gen z is task force 141 and I wanna join

Anytime you use a computer, you do that stupid movie hacker trope of exaggerated typing and say "I'm in"

Saying "POV" in front of sentences

In the group chat saying "1 like and I'll kms", liking your own message and then saying "damn guess I gotta"

I see a lot of these posts were Gaz and Soap would understand y/n....bffr, no those geezers would not

No one knows what the gen z kid is saying they just know it's probably not good

"You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?"

You have a small photo you keep tucked in your chest pocket and after enough times seeing you looking lovingly at it, one of the guys asks who it is. Is it a s/o from back home? 😏😏

You say no and pull out a photo card of your fave singer and they're like ??? Really

One time during a particularly physical scuffle with the enemy, you get thrown to the ground and huff out "one hop this time" only to promptly tackle tf outta your assailant while saying "take it back now yall"

Reads everyone's zodiac charts except ghost bc he won't tell his birthday let alone the time he was born so you just make one up

Price calls a 6 am meeting to which you say "double it and give to the next person"

*Alexa, play teenagers by MCR*

If you had time describe the base, you'd say it smells like ball sweat, blood and war crimes which everyone took offense to for different reasons

Would absolutely get soaps doodles tattooed

Actually speaking of which, imagine getting caught giving yourself stick and pokes with a pen and being banned from using pens period

You'd be in a meeting with a #2 pencil

Ofc a gen z member would be absolutely feral which very little regard for their own safety much to the dismay of the others

Quoting "Oh these aren't homemade, they were made in a factory....a bomb factory......they're bombs." All the time around soap even though he has no idea what you're talking about

You don't spent too much alone time with ghost bc he likes quiet and you can't be alone with your thoughts which is why you lean more towards spending time with soap or gaz

I just like puns so I'm gonna add this but gen z love borgs (a customized gallon jug of alcohol that is usually given a name) and yours is appropriately named taskforce 1-borg-1

this is mainly for my americans but i know pretty much the whole world got beef with engl*nd: before you met Soap, you thought the entire 141 was en*lish so when you finally did meet him, you said "oh thank god" with a sigh

americans 🤝 scotts

making fun of english "people"

"Pull up in the monster, automobile gangsta With a bad bitch that came fr-" "....sergeant, comms off please"

you show Ghost WAP and he has to take a walk

*price yelling at gaz and soap*: KYLE GARRICK AND JOHN MACTAVISH GET IN HERE- Y/n: oop not the government name

Another for my US baddies: if your'e ever arguing with any of the guys, the nail in the coffin would be "and it's called soccer"

"one more like and i'll-" "enough!"

you call Price "ms. girl" and he could not be more confused

someone asks "do you serve?" and u reply "yah, serve cunt"

when asked why you decided to join the military you said something like: "well i didnt think i'd live past 18 so when I did, i ended up here".....crickets from the rest of the team

"good thing we only have showers on base because i would have already taken a toaster bath by now"

ask Gaz "no bitches?🤨" one more time see what happens

price: the enemies have taken civvies hostage and blocked off all exits and entrances to the town-" y/n: "omg tea"

Also calling price "capt. Save-a-hoe"....I wanna be saaaavvveddd ;)

If you took a shot every time you said "rest in peace to all the soldiers that died in the service, I dive in her cervix", you'd be dead lmao

When asked if they like the military they'd say "it was either this or the psych ward so yah, I'll take it"

Quoting MPGIS constantly and no one even sort of knows what that is ("Crack. Is that what you smoke? You smoke crack?")

Some detainee being interrogated is spilling some nonsense, so you hit them with "oh brother this guy stinks!" And then with the butt of your gun

"Little bad trini bitch but she mixed with China, real thick vagina, smuggle bricks to-" "SARGENT ENOUGH"

Falling asleep on team mates (minus ghost's) shoulders mostly because the most peace they get is when you're unconscious

*when y/n hears any slightly suggestive/dirty phrase*: what are we talking about 😏 (iykyk)

Same energy as: " born next to a nuclear power plant, has an IQ of 2 and was hit in the head with several Rocks as a child"

Vine quotes out the wazoo, it's just awful for the rest of the team lmao

Replying to everything with "on god?"

soap: "what are you 6?" y/n: "yah 6 inches deep in your mom".....you did not walk away from that unscathed to say the least...worth it tho

#cod mw22 #call of duty #cod x reader

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 4

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif by:@sh214

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

*! New warnings will be listed first !*

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: ~2.3K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Hi there! To those of you who have read and are still with me, THANK YOU! I love you all. I'm sorry that my chapters are taking longer and longer. Work has been a bit more hectic lately and I also just had some serious writer's block with this chapter. That being said, it feels a little rough and I apologize if its awful lol. But either way, thanks for hanging in there with me and please let me know what you think! Your comments make me happy!

__________

You groaned, stepping out of bed and drifting towards the bathroom. Your face was sticky and your eyes stung from crying late into the night. It was silly, naive, and frankly stupid… but sometimes you can't control how hard emotions hit. Seeing that Pedro didn't actually watch your video was a let down - to put it mildly. Obviously he's a popular guy. A star. He has better things to do.

You should be grateful he even responded to your Instagram message before. Even though it hurts, surely he has more interesting things to do than message someone like you. Just because you wrote a song and he said he liked it doesn't mean he owes you anything more.

So after a fitful night's sleep, you were utterly exhausted; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Luckily, it was still your weekend and you could rest today. 

More like spend the day wallowing in your self pity… you think, disdainfully at yourself.

Looking in the mirror, you notice your puffy eyes. There's some new acne, and a mop of frizzy hair on your head. After using the toilet, you step on your bathroom scale before your shower; a morning routine you started during years of dieting. Another 3 pounds. Up again?!

You look in the mirror, pinching your stomach with a sigh. I guess I shouldn't have had those cookies yesterday…

The food guilt creeps up as you think of the goodies you've eaten recently. Cookies yesterday, fast food the day before. You were bitter that you weren't one of those people that could just magically eat whatever they wanted without gaining an ounce. 

But you aren't, and you should know better. 

Frustrated with your appearance, you begin your usual internal debate about how to fix it.

Maybe I should go back on the diet…

But the diet caused you so many problems. Remember the stomach issues? The hunger? The lack of joy? Binge eating on cheat days until you were sick?

But! I lost so much weight!

Yeah, until you started gaining weight…

Maybe I didn't cut enough. People said I looked so good. I was *almost* skinny.

Maybe people would like me more if I was skinny… Maybe Pedro would like me if I were skinny. There's no way he would be with me looking like this.

These were the debates that plagued you for months… years… a lifetime.

You showered, tears beginning to flow again as you tried to push out the thoughts. He was probably just busy, but either way you knew you didn't have a chance. 

Your friends were right. You were an obsessed fan. It was… concerning, as they said. They pitied you when you felt sad about your feelings. Just find someone you actually have a chance with, they pushed. Someone real.

But... he did message you. Maybe he didn't even know you had an interview yesterday? Maybe he watched it later. You were being utterly ridiculous. It didn't matter anyway.

But what you didn't know was that Pedro felt just as disappointed. He wanted to be the one on your list. The one you loved. He went to bed just as mopey as you did and woke up just the same.

_____

Having washed away your bad feelings as best as you could, you gave Skipper a kiss on his little forehead and made some coffee while scrolling Instagram. You were nervous to see what people had to say about your interview, but you had to face the music eventually.

As you could have predicted, people were running through the potential suspects (or prospects, that is) who have brown curly hair and brown eyes. Some supported you and loved your interview. Others criticized you for being too chicken to show yourself. 

You weren't used to this level of attention, and you really weren't sure you enjoyed it. But you were grateful to have your two lives kept separate, your true persona still shaded in privacy.

What you did not predict, was a notification popping up from Pedro, interrupting your scrolling. Forgetting to breathe, you immediately clicked on it. If the message were food from the oven, you would've burnt your hand the way you grabbed it so fast. 

Perhaps I should've been a little more chill about opening this so quickly... Oh well.

Pedro Pascal messaged you: "Hey! I watched your interview yesterday. You did fantastic. I know fame is new to you and you're nervous, but you're a natural."

Your heart swelled. He did watch it!! He must have just been busy during the live stream.

You replied: "Pedro! You watched it!?! Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me."

Pedro read your message immediately, but instead of sharing in your level of excitement, he was hit with a wave of confusion instead. She must just be trying to not hurt my feelings. She already knows I watched it.. unless she didn't even notice my name. Or she didn't care enough to look for it…?

He decided to play along with it anyway. "Absolutely, I did. I've had it marked on my calendar since the day it was announced a couple days ago and watched it as it was streamed live."

His response took you by surprise, and then made you angry. If he really watched it, he would know that they gave you a list of the people who watched it live. Why was he lying to you about it?

You started to plan out your response, maybe even send an accusatory comeback, but then you thought about it again.

Why would he lie about it? What would he gain by lying? He messaged you.

With this in mind, you instead chose to take a different approach. One better designed for fishing. One you had to be very careful about, so as not to reveal the fact that you looked for his name.

"Wait!? You watched it live? I didn't see you on the list. You're one of the few people I've spoken to who actually seem genuinely friendly and interested in having a conversation with me. I had sort of hoped you were listening."

There. That doesn't sound too revealing, right? Totally friendly…

Pedro opened your message and was met with both confusion, and something else he wasn't expecting. Hope. Did you look for his name??

Still, he wanted to address the confusion. "You didn't see me on the list? That's odd.. but I'm sure there were a lot of names to scan through. Maybe my name was just buried in that list."

You knew it wasn't buried. He was the only name you looked for. The only name you cared about seeing on that list, not that you'd admit that to him right now. But you also didn't want him to feel that insignificant either.

"There were a lot of names, I'll give you that. But I swear you weren't there. Were you logged into your account? Maybe your Internet crashed, or you missed part of it?"

Instantly he remembered the ten or so minutes that Oscar interrupted him. 

Oscar!

"Oh shit! That's it. Oscar barged into my house while I was watching it and I slammed my laptop closed."

"Oscar… Isaac? Wait, why did you slam your laptop closed?"

"Yeah, that's the one. And… I don't know. He just surprised me, I guess. It wasn't a planned visit."

Slamming your laptop closed is an odd reaction to your friend visiting, but okay, you thought.

"So you closed your laptop, and missed a few minutes. And that must have been the moment they pulled the list of viewers."

Pedro replied. "It must have. But I was there, more than happy to listen to what you had to say"

If my name had been on the list, would her answer have been different? When asked whether the man she loved was on the list and she said no, would my name have changed anything? Pedro wanted to ask you these questions. But he couldn't. Not only was he scared, but he also didn't want it to come off as some douchey comment that made you uncomfortable. He wanted to get to know you better, even if just as a friend, and he wouldn't let a silly little crush ruin that.

You sent a response that could be deemed as friendly or neutral, still cautious. "Thank you Pedro. I'm really glad you watched it."

He replied without hesitancy. "Of course. But, I am sorry that your guy wasn't on that list."

He sounds genuine. Not like he's fishing for information like everyone else on the internet. In turn, you decide to be playful with your response. Risky, but still not too revealing. "It's okay. It turns out that list wasn't as accurate as I once thought it was" you typed with a smirk.

"So maybe he was watching after all," Pedro answered.

"Maybe he was."

Pedro soon changed the subject, "I did enjoy hearing about your favorite things, though. You may know this already, but I love movies. Some of the ones you mentioned are a couple of my favorites as well. But as for your favorite books, I haven't read them, but I've been meaning to find a new book to read."

The fact that he was a reader made your heart flutter; the thought of him sitting with a book, his glasses perched on his nose, brow furrowed as he stroked his thumb over his lip in deep concentration. You were overjoyed at the thought of him reading *your* favorite book and potentially having someone to talk to about it. Before you knew it, you had frantically sent multiple excited messages.

You: "Oh! If you read any of my favorite books we HAVE to talk about them!"

Second message: "AGH the first book I mentioned is my favorite, out of all of them. The ending blew my mind. And the characters were just so amazing! Well except for that one guy.. but I won't spoil that…"

Third message: "But my favorite character has the greatest lines!!! Sometimes I like to quote it but nobody else gets it. And the way the author describes the settings is so magical, it makes you want to be there."

Pedro caught himself smiling at his phone, wrapped up in your excitement, as you were finally able to talk to someone about your favorite book. It was adorable how happy you seemed.

He started to type a reply when you sent another message. "Shoot… I'm sorry. I got a little too carried away…"

"Who told you that?"

Huh?

"Who told me what?" You asked.

"Who made you feel like you had to stop talking when you became excited about your interests?"

His question took you aback, but your mind struggled to pinpoint the answer to it. There's been so many people that have told you that over the years. People you assumed were friends. An old crush who didn't like multiple text messages at once. Classmates who would complain or make fun. It was routine.

"Oh. It's not a big deal. It's just something I've heard over the years. But I also know how I get and I don't want to be too much. I'm sorry. I don't want to monopolize the conversation too much either. But hey, you didn't mention, what are your favorite books?" You tried to change the topic.

Pedro felt that protective feeling bubble up in his chest again.

"Over the years!? There have been multiple occasions?" Pedro shook his head, even though you couldn't see through the text. "I'm sorry anyone ever made you feel that way or said anything to imply that your interests weren't worthy of being heard. Fuck them. They should be thankful that you shared your interests."

They should be grateful to hear your beautiful voice get so excited. To get to see your excitement and smile, Pedro thought to himself angrily. He hoped he could someday witness you getting excited over your interests in person too.

"Thank you Pedro. But really, it's okay. I know I get a little… obsessive and crazy, especially with sending multiple texts, so I don't blame them. Haha. :)" you tried to soften the mood.

"I don't want you to ever feel that way with me. I liked hearing you talk about your interests."

You began to type, but Pedro beat you to the punch.

"In fact… if you'd like to talk more," he gave you his phone number. "Feel free to text me, or you can call me too. I like talking on the phone, but I know not everyone does."

Holy shit. Is this real life? Did Pedro Pascal just give me his phone number? And ask me to call him?

Truthfully, your introverted self really didn't like talking on the phone. But the idea of talking to Pedro, hearing his voice on the other end of your phone was too much to handle.

What you didn't realize, was that Pedro wanted it just as bad.

Your fingers danced over your phone keyboard, trying to find the right words for a reply. What do you say when the love of your life (that you didn't think you would ever have a chance with) gives you his phone number?

Pedro watched anxiously as the three dot-dot-dots of typing appeared and disappeared over and over. His heart was racing, and he began to worry he may have overstepped this time. 

Why did you give her your number? She's going to think you like her!!! 

But you do like her, you idiot, Pedro berated himself.

He ran his hand down his face, waiting for your response in agonizing suspense. But instead of hearing the pop of a notification, his phone began to ring instead, an unknown number displayed on the home screen.

Wait… is that her? Is she CALLING me?!

He answered frantically, practically dropping his phone in the process. 

"Hello?"

"Hello? Pedro? It's me.."

You heard him give a breathless laugh before answering with a gentle "Hi."

_____

Thank you for reading!! Let me know your thoughts :) More will be coming soon. I know this is a painfully slow burn lol. Thanks for being patient.

Next chapter! Here

_____

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x you #a! wrote a fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal rpf #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #rpf #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal x afab!reader #key to your heart

[thekats]

It might seem crazy what I'm about to say, but since I can't really read people's expression well (thanks for that, autism) I have a different approach. You see, I like acting myself, yes, in part because it's a type of controlled masking and learning how to human in a socially acceptable way, so I analyse (fictional) characters' emotions etc by imitating facial expressions and seeing what that triggers in me. Kind of like associations, but mindsets, intents and emotions.

That's what I keep doing with Aziraphale specifically since he is who people keep criticising (bc Crowley obviously is perfect and doesn't make mistakes /s) and evidently not understanding him at all but I don't want to get upset about this again.

This is how I knew he wasn't disgusted (????) by the kiss and I've got an idea about how he feels in the lift to heaven at the end of s02.

The best one-word answer i can boil it down to is: defiance. He's going against all odds, against expectations and perhaps even his own better judgement/instinct. Like, he knows what he wants to do is risky and potentially dangerous, but he has to do it for the world, himself and Crowley, perhaps even a little in spite of him. He can do this. Yes, he paints himself as a damsel in distress a lot. Yes, he like the comforts and pleasures of earth and humanity. But don't you go underestimating him.

Part of me thinks he thinks the Metatron thinks (there's so much thinking involved here wow we're thoughtful) he's an easy puppet. Naive, innocent, believes in the unwavering and undebatable goodness of heaven. A toy soldier he can command and make do what he needs done. And in a way Aziraphale is all that. But he also isn't stupid. He's witnessed heaven's stance on ineffable plans during Nopeageddon, had his heart broken and his faith in God's institution shaken. He knows The Second Coming can't mean good news for earth, especially since Crowley's voiced his suspicion "all of us against all of them".

Aziraphale is being brave, resuming his position as a fighter, a guardian, only the Eastern Gate has expanded to mean the whole world and Crowley, maybe even Hell because balance is necessary for shades of grey and their lives hold value, too, after all.

He's on a mission and by God (no pun intended) he plans to accomplish it. There's no South Downs without earth or, indeed, without Crowley.

#good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #aziraphale defense squad takes

[amaiaqt]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤミㅤstupid cupidㅤ⋆ ｡˚ㅤ♡ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤwhat happens when an idiot asks an idiot for crush advice ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤmodern cyno !

"anonymous order; ....a request for cyno ? anything honestly — message cut."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤloser in love cyno and dumbass wingman tighnari ! ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhope you enjoy, xoxo ♡

if you asked cyno any childish question relating to romance, be it a crush or if he's ever had a partner at all, the most you get is a blank stare. for someone you may consider a sharp man, the only time he'll ever let you call him dense is when it comes to romance.

because even he can't deny it, he's a loser when it comes to romance.

and when he defends himself on that topic, saying he has at least tried to find a partner before, you can believe him because he has tried. but no one really liked tcg and horrendously timed puns as much as him, poor guy.

sometimes, he's actually rather bitter about his failed attempts at romance, and opts to curse old pal cupid even when they had nothing to do with it.

hey stupid cupid, stop being stupid and make this romance thing work for me.

but, said cupid seemed to take pity on him, and shot an arrow right through his heart the day you were introduced to his life. to say it was love at first sight, well cyno wouldn't really disagree at this point.

" . . . and this, this is cyno. he considers himself the funniest in our group," kaveh snickers at the last few words as he waves two arms in front of cyno to lend your attention to him, "we believe we're entitled to our own opinions, even when some aren't the best." kaveh laughed to himself about his side comment, earning a blank stare from the shorter male, who then looked to you with a completely different look — a look of timidity and hesitation, tossing you a soft but noticeable smile, one of which you returned with your own.

"i'm fond of those with humor, it's a pleasure to meet you, cyno." you extended a hand out for him, waving kaveh off as he gave up in nagging you to go meet the others with him first, opting to lean back on a desk in impatience. cyno nodded at your words, very slowly shaking your hand - goodness, your skin was very pleasant to the touch - and parting his lips to reply, "the pleasure is all mine," with the next words, he swears his lips moved on their own, "a new face, especially one as attractive as yours, is always refreshing from the usually dull surroundings here." with this, kaveh shot him a pointed look, which he only ignored in sake of the way you glowed when you laughed with him.

"well, he's so far proven his claim right." you smirked as you added on to the unintentional mock towards kaveh, laughing even louder as the blonde's expression morphed into an even more comical one. he scoffed at the two of you and threw his hands up in defeat, "fine, let the short guy show you around. i was already being so generous —" "so, how about i finish the job of showing you around ? i assume you're new, after all." "i wouldn't mind !" "huh—i didn't mean literally !-"

" . . . and then—oh, [name] !" cyno gulps at the way he called out your name, and the pointed look tighnari threw his way did not help. tighnari shook his head and walked over to you first, cyno following behind him in thought.

he's noticing the differences in himself lately, and he's embarrassed whenever he realizes that he's especially different around you. the way he can feel the shift in his mood whenever he sees you, he can hear the difference in the tone of his voice when he talks to you — he can feel the differences, but he doesn't know if he should take them as good signs.

he snaps out of his thoughts when tighnari snaps his fingers in front of his face, earning a laugh from you as tighnari chides him, "you're spacing out again, you didn't even respond to [name] greeting you." cyno shakes his head, "ah.. sorry. good morning [name]." a smile tugged the corners of his lips up again as you waved at him.

he's also noticed that little lingering feeling in his chest, perhaps he should discuss with tighnari about it when he finds the time to, since he's such a know-it-all.

"so anyway, kaveh said he handed you my notes yesterday ?" tighnari turned to you, "he didn't hand me anything, though ?" "ah... that fu—"

yeah, surely it wouldn't hurt to ask tighnari about it.

"'nari, can i ask about . . something ?" when the two finally went separate ways from you, cyno decided it would be convenient to ask his friend as they walk. "what about ?" tighnari slowed his pace, matching with cyno as they walked up the flight of stairs to their floor. "i've been feeling different lately, mainly around [name]." "don't say more." at this, the two of them stopped in their tracks as tighnari shook his head. observing this, cyno was about to feel guilty, did he accidentally imply something ?

only for tighnari to turn to him and laugh in his face.

"i was waiting for you to accept it and ask," tighnari breathes after laughing for a few seconds, "i didn't think you actually would. guess i owe kaveh 50." "what ?"

"you have a crush on [name], you dense fool." "what ?" tighnari laughs at his friend's expression, "you said you've noticed you've been different lately around [name], right ?" "well, that's not exactly what i said." "it's what it implied, anyway." tighnari started to walk ahead, up the stairs, letting cyno trail behind.

"well we've noticed you've been different around them too, and it's damn well obvious. even al haitham figures it's a crush, and that's al haitham." "and, if it is a crush—" "oh no doubt about it." "do you think i have a chance with them ?" . . .

"come again ?" "do you think i have a chance with them ?"

now, the day that the cyno would be asking if he had a chance with someone was a day tighnari never would have anticipated. never would have been able to prepare for. so what the hell is he supposed to say ???

"who knows, if you flirt with them enough the chances and the stakes are equal." was that a good thing to say, or did he just push his friend to do something stupid ?

"so i just need to flirt with them more ? okay, sounds simple enough." latter, definite latter. "no don't—CYNO"

hey stupid cupid, don't let two idiots give each other crush advice.

"[name], has anyone ever told you that you're very attractive ?" "cyno, you've told me at least three times this morning."

the change in cyno's very open behavior with you caught you off guard, but he was very cute and dorky about it, so who were you to complain ?

your friends can't agree though, even finding it unsettling.

"ah, i'm sorry. i just like to speak what's on my mind, so whenever i think you're attractive, i just have the urge to say it out loud." "you've had three consecutive thoughts about me being attractive ?" "four actually. but i always think you're attractive, so technically i've lost count."

tighnari held his face in his hands as he sat across from cyno, physically cringing.

hey stupid cupid, give the others a chance too.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ© amaiaqt, 2023 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤdo not plagiarize !

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #cyno x reader #cyno fluff #cyno #genshin impact #꒰ㅤdelulu publishing houseㅤ꒱ #♡𝅼 ་ ׅ : babe wake up amai posted ！ #amaiaqt

[folk-ivy]

HELP idk where to like request shit but you should do one where it’s like a matt or chris fic based off the song dress by taylor andddd basically they’ve been “dating” for like a few months but trying to keep it from the other brothers and y/n get’s fed up because she’s sick of feel like like a secret (illicit affairs pun lol?) anyways so she shows up to this party they’re all going to in a really hot sexy dress knowing it’ll mess w matt/chris head nd then like smut in a bathroom 🎀🔥💖 thank yewww bye.

Dress.

Matt Sturniolo x fem!reader

When you break-up with your secret boyfriend after being tired of being kept a secret, a stupid party may change everything

smut!

author's notes: thank you so much for your request! sorry if this was not what you imagined, i had never written smut before, so sorry if this is bad (it probably is)! once again, english is not my first language, i apologize for any mistakes!💗

warnings: smut; cursing

The red dress with black lace flowers was hugging my figure perfectly, defining every curve exactly the way I like it. I run my hand over the dress hugging my body and when I feel the silk with the touches of lace all over my palm, I knew the night would be something to remember.

“Earth calling Y/N” I hear my best friend, Emily, who was sitting on the queen-sized bed in the middle of her room, say to me.

"I'm here, I'm here" I say without a hint of enthusiasm.

"Oh, you're still sad about that fight, right?" she says and I automatically lower my gaze.

The fight.

I've never been a quarrelsome person, I've never liked anything that leads to a disagreement, maybe it's because I can't maintain an argument without starting to cry, but that's another story.

With Matt everything seemed different.

I liked that idiot so much that I ended up fighting with him; not out of hate, but because I liked him so much and I just wanted him to understand my side for just a moment.

I hated being kept a secret, I hated the feeling of having to hide and having to act like a fugitive, a criminal.

But I think it's stupid things we do when we're in love.

Emily was the only one who remotely knew about us, well she knew we were more than friends but she had no idea he had asked me to be his girlfriend a while ago.

Matt hid me from everyone, his brothers, his parents, his family and especially his fans. At first it was fun, the adrenaline of hiding from everyone, of taking risks. Over time I started to hate it, I started to want to be free at any cost, even if it wasn't with him by my side.

--3 hours before--

"Matt, you don't understand! I really like you! I don't want to hide anymore" I say, feeling the heavy tears forming in my eyes.

"You don't understand my side! Do you know what they'll say if they find out we're together?" he shouts "they're going to slaughter you, Y/N, that's what they're going to do!"

"I don't care! I just want to be able to have you by my side without having to worry about what the rest of the world thinks!" I say, even louder "shit, not even your brothers know about me! And they know everything about you! It's almost like you're ashamed of me"

"Stop acting like a child" he says, this time with a lower but more rigid tone of voice.

"Fuck you, Matt! I'm not a woman to be hidden, and if you don't want to admit me, fuck you!" I scream, with tears already streaming down my face "we should break up"

"What?"

"That's right, we're breaking up!" I speak, this time lower but with more hatred laced in my voice "t your fans and your brothers that you were too soft to be able to keep a woman like me"

I grab my bag from the beige sofa and walk to the door, when I feel my boyfriend's, or rather ex-boyfriend's, arm grabbing my wrist.

"Please don't go" he says softly, with a small tear running down his face

I shake my wrist until he lets go and walk out the wooden door.

--current time--

“Fuck, Y/N, lost in thought again?” Emily's voice interrupts my daydreams again.

"Sorry, sorry" I say

"Come, the Uber is coming" she says, gets out of bed, and drags me to the front of the house

"I'm not in the mood, Emi" I say "can't we stay home?"

I've always liked parties, and it's very likely that this one will cheer me up after my bad breakup with Matt, but, knowing what the triplets are like and knowing the character of the owner of the party house, it's very likely that I'll meet them there and, if If I meet Matt, my night is likely to end right there.

"We're too hot to stay at home, come on!" She says and drags me when a notification from that app arrives on her cell phone.

The way to the party was short but funny, after we discovered that the Uber driver was, in fact, Emily's distant cousin.

We greeted Emily's cousin/uber and got out of the car when we saw the large party house located at the end of the street.

The place was huge, and had a silver bear statue outside and neon lights going off everywhere.

We presented our invitations that we bought 2 hours before, and entered the house.

Loud music and the smell of weed quickly overwhelm my senses, and I look at Emi as she drags me over to the corner to get a drink.

I order a shot of whiskey; I've never been a drinker, but I think a little alcohol won't hurt, right?

We talk for a while sitting on the metal bar stool, and in a small moment of silence I observe the other side of the 4-story house, and that's where my world stops.

Matt

My eyes meet his and I watch as he walks towards me.

I panic, after all, what the hell can you do when your ex-boyfriend is coming towards you in the middle of a crowded party?

Is pretending to faint really such a bad option?

Before I can put my plan into action and throw myself on the ground, I feel a warm hand grab my arm.

"Hi" he says with his palm on my arm, but avoiding my gaze

"What do you want, Matthew?" I say

"Please, can we at least talk?"

"No"

"Please!"

"She fucking said no!" my friend interrupts, ripping Matt's hand off my arm.

A simple conversation can't end so badly, right?

"Emi, it's okay" I say in a calm voice, and I watch from the corner as Matt's eyes fill with hope "Let's go"

I get up and walk towards the unisex bathroom that was just a few meters away from us.

I enter the bathroom followed by Matt, and I can't help but notice when he locks the door.

"Hey, I think we should talk" he says softly, when I turn towards him with my arms crossed.

"Yes, you already said that" I say "say it, Matt"

"Please, I want you back! Forgive me for hiding you for so long, I think I was just too scared; I don't care what the world thinks, I just want you! It hasn't even been twenty-four hours since I've seen you but I already miss your hugs, so please come back with me...I love you" he says, without pauses and with an extremely shaky voice.

I've never been one to trust others, but something in his tone told me he was serious, and that I could trust him.

However, I couldn't help but pay attention to his last three words.

'I love you'

Shit, I love this idiot too, after all, who could not? His laugh, his smile, and all his flaws, I love everything, and I just want him to know that.

"I love you too, asshole" I say and grab his face in my hands, while pulling him for a kiss.

What was supposed to be an innocent kiss became a make out session, and what was supposed to be a make out session, became something bigger.

Once sweet and calm, the meeting of our mouths was now frantic and needy.

His hands fly to my waist and down to my ass, while my hands roughly grab strands of him.

"You know, I loved that dress, but I would love for it to be on the floor" he breaks the kiss.

"You know, I only bought it so you could take it off" I say and we both laugh as he slowly lowers the right strap.

My left hand is quick to pull the other strap, leaving me now naked from the waist up.

"Holy shit" he says staring at my breasts

"You can touch it" I say and smirk.

His hands fly to my bust, with his fingers pinching the nipples that are stiff from the cold of the bathroom.

A soft moan leaves my mouth and I see his pupils dilate even further, if possible, as he lets out his own moan.

I kiss him again as he pushes me towards the sink, picking me up on his lap and, without breaking the kiss, placing me on top of the sink with my legs open and him between them.

“Let me fuck you, please?” he asks slyly.

"Yes" I whisper with my eyes closed, and I hear his belt being unfastened and the sound of his jeans falling to the floor.

His hands go straight to my wet center, and I feel him tear my panties and make a small caress on my thigh.

"Wow, I liked those panties" I say

"I'll buy you twenty of these, love"

He presses his forehead to mine, hugs my waist and begins to slowly insert his dick into my entrance.

"My god" I say and lock my eyes on his, while I feel a small burning sensation.

The touch of pain is soon replaced by pure pleasure as I feel him thrust his entire length into me.

"Please move" I whisper and plant a little kiss on his mouth, just to let him know it's okay.

And he starts, with slow but strong thrusts.

The wet sound and our moans are all that can be heard in the bathroom with the white tiled wall, the occasional noise of my body against the sink is also present.

And, again, what was sweet and calm becomes frantic and needy.

His thrusts are faster, and I grab his hair with my hands while his right palm goes towards my clitoris, making circular movements and giving small taps.

"Holy shit, I'm going to cum!" I scream and he continues with rapid thrusts

"Me too" he says weakly as he looks at me.

I feel like I can see stars as I collapse into his arms, and I feel thick liquid being poured inside me.

My whole body goes limp as I feel him grabbing me with his right arm and slowly withdrawing his cock from inside me, soon being replaced by his fingers that try to keep his liquid inside my body

"I fucking love you" he says "and I would never be ashamed of you"

And it was at that moment that I knew everything had changed.

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #writerscommunity #nick sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #writers on tumblr #smut #chris sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo

[rubykgrant]

I don't have the energy to draw them, but; RVB couple ideas that intrigue me-

Tucker and Carolina; at some point she realizes she's into him and decides to express this interest by just sitting in his lap one day while they're waiting for a pizza or something. his whole thought process is "WHAT IS HAPPENING, I'm scared, I'm aroused, I'm SCAROUSED, wait hold on- Carolina is objectively hot and cool, plus I respect her, but also fear her, NOT NOW BONER". Carolina kinda started by thinking "You're stupid. I like that in a man", but it actually clicked for her because when Tucker doesn't try so hard, he's genuinely funny and charming~

Church and Sarge; Blood Gulch solidarity, but also Sarge's whole deal is "His anger issues have captivated me". he LOVES a man with an attitude problem, and Church has like... 20 different attitudes, and they've all got their own problems. meanwhile, Church realized he's got a captive audience for his rants, somebody who will always "Yes, AND" with him, and finds it extremely funny the way all the others act like their divorced step-dads started dating each other and complain out of embarrassment. oh, but then he finds out Sarge is very doting, so this is a legit relationship now

Kai and Kimball; very much started as a "Hey president lady, you need to unwind~" kinda thing, and while they don't get especially serious, they really do enjoy each other's company. Kai makes her laugh, and Kimball will tell her about lots of interesting topics. now every time Kai is in range of Chorus, she drops by to encourage the people to party (who needs a temple!), and helps Kimball relax. All the people who work with Kimball are initially intimidated, because Kai flirts with them too??? Grif wants to complain about how obnoxious his sister is, but he can't deny that Kimball is happy, so he tries to be very mature and supportive

Gary and Santa; nobody knows how the heck this started or WHY, but now it goes like this-

Gary; Would you like to hear a joke?

Santa; I fail to see the relevance, but very well

Gary; Knock-knock

Santa; Who's there?

Gary; A little old lady

Santa; A little old lady who?

Gary; I didn't know you could yodel, ay-liddel-oh-lay-dee-hoo

Santa; I see. The question was formed in such a way that when I repeated it, I involuntarily spoke words that sound similar to a form of singing, thus creating pun

Gary; Yep

Santa; Fascinating. More than just humor, these deceptive riddle of yours require thinking in unconventional ways, which only make sense after a reveal

Gary; Yep

Santa; Tell me more of these jokes

#red vs blue #rvb

[daydream-aroace]

Hello! I love Ace in the Hole and just wanted to say how awesome it is. I feel like the puns are so spot-on and you captured the style of the series like it reminded me a lot of the word play in the lyrics of Stayed Gone. I would 100% believe it was a canon song that had its lyrics get leaked somehow. I read the whole thing in Alastor's voice. Thank you for sharing it, I hope you're having a good day!

RAAAH OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH. I LITERALLY SQUEALED AFTER I READ THIS.

My favorite line is "I have antlers so I ain't ever horny" because when I thought of that I was like

"M'kay, so let's have a topic on being horny and how Alastor is never that... Okay, Alastor has horns but... WAIT NO THEY'RE ANTLERS-" *Types lyrics*

I did base it off Stayed Gone a bit. I was thinking of doing lyrics about others. I eventually decided I wanted it to feel more self-centered. I also thought of it as an "F you" to Vox because of RadioSilence.

I wanted to make a song that captured a feeling of "Everybody else is stupid except me," "WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN'T FEEL LOVE?" and subliminally implying he's AroAce.

Like I imagine him singing this on the radio and the sinners hearing it like "wtf are you on about" and "OH. MY. GOD. ALASTOR! IT'S CALLED BEING AROACE YOU DUMB FUCK."

#hazbin hotel #aroace #aroace alastor #alastor

[strrvnge]

Christmas at 221B Baker Street

Sherlock isn't particularly fond of the whole concept of christmas. He finds it to be a pointless excuse of excessive buying, meaningless superficial shows of affections through materials - but wait why are you and John dragging a christmas tree upstairs?

"I think it'd look great in that corner don't you think?"

"We can't, it's part of Sherlock's silent treatment for when I ignore him and Mrs Hudson's gone. He looks outside while humming shsu to annoy me while I'm working I don't know what he'd do without"

"What do you think you're doing?" Sherlock asks storming out of his bedroom only to find John in the ugliest christmas sweater to every be seen and you with a christmas headband on your head

"Decorating for Christmas of course"you said

"John I thought we agreed we wouldnt participate to such stupid thing"

"No, no you said that I was just nodding my head while zoning out. There is no way I'm skipping christmas''

"You can help us if you want. It can be fun  as might not be that bad"

"I highly doubt that, but anyway I'd rather do anything else but this"

"Well if you don't want to you can sit somewhere quietly while me and Y/N do our thing"

So like a sulky child that isn't played by their friends he sits at his armchair opposite you two, pretending to be looking through one of his latest composition while stealing a few glances at you and John talking and giggling while setting up the tree completely unaware of his 

And you know him he isn't the one to ask for attention much less admit that he's wrong (and well whatever you and john are doing surely looks interesting) so he sits there tutting or dry coughing anything really that could catch your attention and invite him again.of course the sxolia are frequent; "I wouldn't do it that way if I were you" " that color is dull, only a dog would choose it and that's because they are colourblind" "I don't think they go that way"

"Then why don't you come to do it better?"John says, sighing annoyed

"Who me?! No, no, no I couldn't care less" 

"We should put on music!" You exclaim trying not to laugh with the two of them.

Eventually he comes to help you after five watching you struggling trying to put a tinsel that was too high for you to reach.

"Thanks for that."

"Come on don't be Grinch (i hope you get the pun) and have fun with us" 

So it might have been very hard for you to convince him however here he is with a santa's cap sitting on the floor trying to untangle the christmas lights.

Of course you end up helping him escape after almost strangling himself 

"For someone who calls themselves a genius you look like you're really struggling with this"

and then you are explaining why they should go around the tree and not vertically just because he finds it more practical.

"If you don't shut up i'll strangle you myself"

"But Y/N-!"

At some point you decide to make hot chocolate only to find there are no marshmallows in the house.

"Why would I have marshmallows? What am I? A child"

"You certainly act like one" you hear John mumble

"You don't put marshmallows in your chocolate? Why? You hate love?"

So you quickly run to buy some and coming hack ro the apartments you shove some snow down Sherlock's shirt that you picked outside. 

"For God's sake you better run for your life Y/N because I swear-!" He yells running behind you but your loud giggles cover his voice as you start running, around the furniture and then from one room to another, jumping on the armchairs and the couch, the bed and maybe even on a table so he wouldn't catch you. 

"If you kill me you'll be on the naughty list"

After that quick hunt and a 10 replays of all I want for christmas is you (you know that because after the ninths sherlock sweared it took just one time to hear that song before he rips his ears out and you wanted to see what would happen so you put it again) after all this the apartment looks like it came straight out of some cheesy christmas movie, with a gigantic tree and so many lights Sherlock swears the apartment might catch on fire.

The three of you are exhausted after all the fighting, caroling and decorating. You all sit with a cup of chocolate and your noses fogging the window's glass as you watch outside everything get all white from the snow. 

"So if we're going to have a party I really don't want anderson to come" sherlock says

"Don't be cruel! You need to be good or santa won't come"

"Y/N you've been bringing this up worryingly too many times today for it to be a joke. I think there is something we should tell you"

#sherlock x you #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock x reader #sherlock holmes x you #dr strange x reader #benedict cumberbatch #sherlock bbc

[finn-m-corvex]

Silly question but what is by far the stupidest thing you headcanon for the ninja?

ALIZIB!!! HI! WELCOME TO MY FINNBOX OMG I LOVE YOUR ART SM THE WAY YOU DRAW NYA IS GAHHHHHHHHH

Sorry fangirling over answering ask nowwww

I don't know if it's necessarily a stupid headcanon but I've always thought that Jay is the only one who can actually grow a beard. Cole can grow an okay mustache but his beard is scraggly, all of Kai's facial hair is wispy and Lloyd can't grow shit bc of the tea. Zane doesn't count because everyone else thinks his facial hair growth is cheating.

Nya is VERY into it and loves whenever Jay leaves a bit of stubble on his chin and she's salty (pun fully intended) about how she missed getting to see his full beard when she was stuck as the sea.

I also think Jay has hella ticklish knees and tummy but oh well. Whichever one you think is weirder!

#alizib tag #finn...themself? #the finnbox #ninjago #ninjago jay

[jeannos]

I'M CRINGE BUT I'M FREE.

every kid in this fandom MUST have their au phase where they make aus of this stupid skeleton, and I FINALLY got the courage to make one!!

I lied actually... I have like 6 sans/skeleton ocs... and 2 of them are self inserts... BUT ANYWAY this guy is the only one I posting publicly atm

btw this reference specifically is really old (I started drawing this in like- 2021/2022 I guess?? Idk honestly) but I never actually finished it till recently bc, yeah, I got super lazy... ironic isn’t it? I don't even draw Sanses like this anymore -_-

SUPER AMAZING AU INTRO ↓

THIS HANDSOME FELLA IS- IS- is...

...

he does not have a actual name yet...

I mean- I call him Dreamer!Sans but I'm not really sure if I'm gonna set with that yet, since I don't actually have a story/plot for him besides his purpose in the multiverse, but I do have some other ideas ;]

Dreamer!Sans is basically a protector of dreams, he protects mostly the realities of dreams (or the Dreamscapes, is what I like to call them) to make sure everyone from his au and multiverse have sweet and safe dreams.

Theres this things called Night Spawns or Nightlings who feeds from peoples nightmares and trauma while they are asleep. They oddly look like spiders... Dreamer is responsible for defeating these pests.

"But why?" you may ask.

Well... the Nightlings "power" to manifest bad dreams in your sleep can cause you depression, anxiety, paranoia, and much more, if they stay too long attached to someone, AND since they are really hungry they are trying to consume the dreamscapes of the person they are attached to. If they succeeds, one may never dream again (or woke up, in other words)

"What are Dreamscapes?"

Every time someone dreams, that person's consciousness is "transported" to this place, and each person has their own dreamscapes!! They are directly connected to people's consciousness and that is why they are so important.

SILLY BILLY SKELE INFO ↓

Hes mostly like classic Sans, very lazy, laid back/relaxed, and he enjoys puns a lot

but it's a little more extreme-

• He is always tired and cannot stay awake for more than 20 minutes without falling asleep again

• He aways looks tired/sleepy

• Sometimes he sleepwalks, he can do unbelievable things while he's asleep, from knitting and cooking to physically fighting or writing a quantum science research, all unconscious!

• For some reason sometimes he sleeps in super specific and random places, once he slept for two whole days inside Nightmare!Sans' castle and no one ever noticed... strange right? He wasn't even in a room, he slept in the kitchen storage the entire time lol

• He has been in and out of so many people's dreams that he probably knows EVERYONE, he has an incredible memory too!

• Sometimes he can't tell if he's really awake or if he's still dreaming, so he doesn't usually take things around him seriously. Which can make other people upset or annoyed that they're not being taken seriously.

• He learned to never try to find meanings in dreams that don't make the LEAST sense, and since he cannot distinguish which reality he is in because he is almost always dreaming- he will always accept anything absurd you propose to him.

You wanna make a birthday party for a giant unicorn baby? sure sounds fun.

You think Shrek is upset and needs help? yeah lets cheer him up.

Several alternate versions of him are fighting for some bizarre reason he doesn't understand?? yeah ok he can help, he don't mind.

• He snores when he's having a really deep sleep, he won't believe it if you tell him that tho

THE END!?

Well thats it! These are my ideas and thoughts about this Sans I created, I might and probably will add more things about him and his story later in other posts, can't wait to finally see his au takes more shape hehe~

also I will make another post about his magic skills and possible weapon along with more illustrations of him, so keep a eye out for more~~

heres a old doodle I made of him before finishing his ref, bye bye!! :3

ignore my old signature pls T-T

#undertale #undertale fandom #undertale au #undertale aus #sans au #sans undertale #oc art #original character #I actually don't know if this counts as a oc lol #unfinished stuff #digital art #dreamertale #dreamer sans #utmv #utmv au

[banannabethchase]

Mox walks into the BCC locker room to find Breeze visiting, and immediately runs off to hide Matt because those two can never be allowed to meet.

Such a Pretty Face - also on AO3

~

Mox walks in on Breeze hanging out in the locker room before Collision and knows one thing: he can't let Breeze and Matt meet. He fails almost immediately.

~

I...this one did things. Title from Brat by Chrissy Chlapecka.

~

All Mox was trying to do was get a goddamned coffee.

He should have known it was possible, is the thing. He and Matt work at AEW. Claudio works at AEW. Of course Claudio would bring his boyfriend here.

He hadn’t thought it through to the logical conclusion.

“Claudio,” he grumbles into the phone, watching the interloper angle the phone for a selfie, “what the fuck is Breeze doing here?”

Breeze looks over at him and rolls his eyes, stupid perfect eyebrows doing a weird little wiggle. Mox stomps out of the room.

“Oh, you’ve seen him?” Claudio is annoyingly sunny. “Good. I and my Lyft driver are stuck in traffic. I told him to find you.”

“Told – why?!” Mox pulls the phone away and stares at it, waiting for one of Claudio’s stupid puns or jokes to show up in a text.

“Because Bryan finds him unappealing and Wheeler is unavailable.” He’s so annoyingly calm about it all, like this isn’t horribly inconvenient.

“Why me, though?” Mox whines. “I can’t stand him.”

“You can,” Claudio admonishes. “You are simply angry he insulted your gear that one time.”

Mox had actually forgotten about that, but Breeze can bitch about his gear pants all day long. “That’s not it,” he hisses. He looks through the door, angling his neck so that he can see Breeze’s foot. “I don’t want him going anywhere near Matt.”

“What?” Claudio asks, uncharacteristically befuddled. “Why not?”

“Because you and I managed to bag the two most impossible, insane, and insufferable men on the fucking planet and if they meet people will die.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line. Mox wonders if he should begin planning his will. “Then perhaps I shouldn’t tell you Tyler is hoping to have a match with Orange Cassidy.”

Mox groans. “Seriously?!”

“He’s a free agent, Jon.” Mox wants to rip that smug tone out of his throat. “He’s allowed to explore his options.”

“Explore his – he’s going to end up running into Matt!” Mox hisses. “It’s going to be horrible.”

“What’s going to be horrible?”

Mox jumps about a foot as Matt comes up behind him. “Baby!” He leans in and kisses Matt, steering them slightly away from the door. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I heard my name and horrible in the same breath,” Matt says, dodging Mox’s next attempt to kiss him. “What’s horrible?”

“He’s talking about me,” Breeze yells from the room.

Mox freezes. “Matty,” he says slowly.

“Who,” Matt says, snapping into business mode, “is in there?” Then he eyes Mox.

Mox doesn’t even have time to panic run away before Breeze walks up behind him. He looks down a little at Matt. “Hey, Jackson,” he says, grinning. “Like your shoes.”

Matt’s eyes widen, hurt echoing. “Why is he in there?” he whispers. And Mox realizes.

“Oh, god, no!” Mox says. “Fuck, no. Never. Absolutely not. Hey.” He cups Matt’s cheeks, tilting him so their eyes meet. “Listen to me. The only pretty boy obsessed with his looks and clothes I want is you.”

Matt pouts, and it would be cute if Mox wasn’t about to lose his mind. “Then why’s he here?”

Mox looks over at Breeze, who looks maddeningly comfortable as he leans against the wall. He’s as if Matt and Seth got fused in one body but threw in an extra dose of impossible. “Yeah, Dean,” Breeze says, and Mox might strangle him right here and now. “Why am I here?”

“You call him that again, and I’ll shove those last season shoes right up your ass,” Matt snaps.

Mox fights a smile. “You don’t like it when people call me Dean?”

“You’re mine now,” Matt says simply. “Well, and AEW’s. Your name is Jon.” He turns to Breeze. “Or Mox, to you.”

“To me?”

Matt nods. He shuffles back into Mox’s space, an arm around his waist like a claim. “I’ll ask one more time. Why are you here?”

“If you must know,” Breeze says, adjusting his ponytail, “I’m interested in a match.”

Matt’s demeanor immediately shifts. “A match!” he says. “We would love to have you.”

“What?” Mox asks. “What was that?”

“A highly talented free agent like you? We’d be lucky to work together. Come on, let’s get to my office. Who are you interested in working with?”

Breeze turns to Mox, who shrugs, still unable to speak.

“Cassidy, Castle,” Breeze says, counting off his fingers, “and, honestly, you and Nick have the right idea right now.” His grin turns deadly. “Wouldn’t have a problem with getting in with the EVPs.”

Mox waits for Matt to correct Breeze about the name, but it doesn’t even look like he noticed. Matt grabs Breeze’s wrist and pulls him toward the EVP room, leaving Mox behind as they begin chattering about ring gear and the best tights for their asses.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been standing there when he feels a giant hand clap on his shoulder.

“Jesus!” he shrieks, jumping about a foot. “What the fuck?”

“Hello,” Claudio says. “Have you seen Tyler?”

“I – yes,” Mox says. “Somehow.”

“Somehow?”

“They, um. They met.”

Claudio frowns. “That can’t possibly have gone well.”

“Matt through I was cheating with Breeze.”

Claudio’s face goes blank for long enough that Mox worries if he has another jealous lunatic on his hands. And then he busts into laughter, falling against the door. “You!” Claudio chokes out. “You! And Breeze!” He works himself into a fit, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“What the hell is so funny?” Mox asks, punching Claudio in his stomach. It kind of hurts his knuckles, and it makes him want to punch Claudio somewhere softer. “Calm the fuck down.”

“I apologize,” Claudio says, mopping his eyes with the cuffs of his BCC jacket. “I really do. I just don’t think you could handle Breeze.”

“I can handle Matt.”

Claudio scoffs. “Oh, no, my friend.” He claps Mox on the shoulder. “Breeze is very different from Matt.”

Mox rolls his eyes as they make their way toward the EVP room. “Either way, they’re being weird in a way I didn’t expect.”

“Explain.”

“I can’t,” Mox says, a hand on the EVP room doorknob, “you have to see it to get it.” He doesn’t bother knocking – never has, never will when it comes to Matt. The door swings open easily under his hand.

“Oh, god,” Claudio says behind him. “I see what you mean.”

Matt and Breeze are both shirtless, in the middle of swapping gear shirts.

“And I think,” Matt says, clearly in the middle of a rant, “that if we really want to sell it, we should have you in matching gear. It may be too late for you to custom make anything, but I’m sure some of my clothes will fit you.” He frowns. “Do you have anything white?”

“What are you doing?” Claudio asks.

Breeze and Matt throw him identical exasperated looks, then return to their conversation.

“Of course I have a white suit,” Breeze says, scoffing. “But I think we might want to go for my pastel green. I can have a friend overnight it so it’s here by 10am tomorrow.”

“What – what?” Mox is beginning to get dizzy. “Seriously, what?”

Matt turns to him after throwing Breeze a smile that Mox hasn’t really seen from the other side before. “Breeze should debut at Revolution,” he says. “I know it’s soon, and we still have to get approval from Tony, but he’s always much more receptive to my ideas when I already have a plan.”

“That’s not him being receptive,” Mox says, lowering himself into a chair. “That’s him being afraid of you when you hit your batshit crazy levels.”

Matt shrugs. “Tomato, tomahto.” He checks his watch. “Oh! Breeze, we need to go talk to Tony now. If we don’t, he might not agree because its’ too ‘last minute’.” He says the last bit with finger quotes. Matt flounces up to Mox, wraps a hand around the back of his neck, and yanks him down for a kiss that’s more insistent and controlling than Mox remembers from him. “See you later, baby.”

Breeze kisses Claudio on the cheek before pushing through the door and following Matt.

“What,” Claudio says, watching them practically skip down the hallway, “was that?”

“Right?!” Mox says. “Claudio. Our boyfriends should never had been allowed to meet.” He grabs Claudio by the shoulders. “Claudio. This is a disaster.”

Claudio blinks. “Disaster? How?”

“They’re going to run this place with hair spray and sneakers,” Mox moans. “We’re going to be stuck listening to them bitch about everything all the time.”

Claudio shrugs, and Mox is losing faith that he’ll be able to impose the urgent need to stop this. “They’re entertained and productive, and not killing each other.” He shoulders Mox out of the way to watch Matt and Breeze knock on Tony’s door. “I consider this a positive.”

~

The next night, Breeze debuts to help Matt and Nick win the belts, and Mox watches backstage, covered in sweat from his own victory, with his jaw on the floor.

“I hate how well they work together,” he mumbles, eyes glued to the screen. “This is going to be horrible.”

“Come now, Jon, your boy has a belt again.” Claudio claps him on the shoulder. “He might calm down.”

“Nope,” Mox says, watching the Bucks and Breeze celebrate in the middle of the ring, then roll out to let Sting have his moment. “No, this is going to make things worse.”

Matt scampers off stage and launches into Mox’s arms, clocking him in the nose with the belt before wrapping his legs around Mox’s waist and kissing him.

“That was awesome!” he hears Breeze say behind him, and then he hears some slurping sounds.

Mox pulls away with one last kiss to Matt’s lips, to see Breeze and Claudio in the same sort of position.

“See?” Breeze says, casually held up by a smiling Claudio with one arm. Showoffs. “You didn’t need to panic so much, Mox. You have no faith in any of us.”

Matt looks at him, eyes giant. “You panicked? About what?”

Mox groans. “Get – no, it’s – Claudio, I’m going to kill your boyfriend later.” He sets Matt down. “You did great out there, baby. Congrats on the belt.”

“But what did you panic about?” Matt asks, poking Mox in the ribs. “Did you worry I’d, like, fall in love with Breeze?” His lips curve up. “Did you think we’d start kissing or something?”

“Not even a little,” Mox scoffs. “I thought you’d kill each other.”

“Really,” Matt says, and Mox doesn’t miss the way his eyes flicker to Breeze. He also doesn’t miss the way Breeze smirks in response.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Mox says, grabbing Matt around the waist and hauling him away. “No falling in love with another twink.”

As he hauls Matt away, he hears Claudio laugh and Breeze yell, “I’m a twunk!”

~

Mini Playlist: Brat - Chrissy Chlapecka I'm So Hot - Chrissy Chlapecka I'm Baby - Lil Mariko Shiny - Lil Mariko, Full Tac

#SwissBreeze #MoxMatt #This is just chaos #wtf i like wrestling now??? #in which sara writes #sarahcakes613 #madly in love with leather daddy jon moxley #Matt Attrackson #This is pure silliness

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

❤ I'm Beary sorry.

I’m currently watching that 70s show and there’s a scene where Jackie wants to leave some stuffed animals in Kelso's van but he calls them stupid and then has to drive really slowly next to her while she’s walking away really upset. could you write something similar to that with eddie?? if not that’s totally fine!

Requested by anon 💕 I tried to do a pun for the title it's so cheesy but I love it 😁💞

Warnings; Teeny bit angst, fluff.

Likes, comments and reblogs are always welcome ❤ I do not give anyone permission to copy my work 💫💞

Eddie looks at the stuffed animal collection in her arms expression turning horrified.

"What the hell are they?". Y/n peers down at her collection confused at Eddie's reaction.

"It's my stuffed animal collection, I wanted to leave a few in here when we have our campout nights in the van".

He gapes opening his mouth to speak then closing it again before answering.

"I'm not having them in my van y/n, what would my band or Hellfire think?". She pouts.

"But Eddie".

"No, I said no. They're stupid y/n", his eyes widen when he realises what he said and her stomach falls.

"Stupid? so am I stupid for having them then?". He shakes his head and moves closer to her, trying to hug her but she moves away hurt.

"I don't understand D&D Eds but I would never call it stupid because it means so much to you and these mean a lot to me, I've had them since I was a kid".

Upset she gets out of the van and ignores him as he calls her back. As she walks away he slowly starts to drive along beside her.

"Sweetheart come back inside it's freezing".

She ignores him and keeps on walking.

"Princess come on!". He follows along beside her still pleading while she tries very hard not to cry.

Was her collection stupid? It hurt that Eddie thought that, she wipes her eyes and Eddie swears.

"Please don't cry, baby. You know it kills me seeing you cry". She longs for comfort wanting to cuddle into Eddie's arms but she can't shake off his words.

Once she reaches her house she heads inside and dumps the stuffed animals on the bed. It was a dumb idea, she should have never asked him.

💖

It's around an hour later when her doorbell rings and she answers it not expecting Eddie to be there with a stuffed bat in his hands.

It's so cute. She softens because he's clutching the bat in his hands with the sweetest puppy dog look on his face.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart, I didn't realise how much the animals meant to you. I should have never called them stupid".

He holds the bat out to her and she takes it.

"I know we like different things Eds but we usually are both so supportive of each other's interests so hearing you say the stuffed animals were stupid hurt a lot".

He cuddles her into his arms and presses several kisses on her hair and forehead so that it makes her grin with delight.

"There's that beautiful smile, he murmurs gazing at her in adoration. I'm sorry angel, really I am. Do you like the bat though?".

She nods it really is cute, every time she looks at it the little guy will remind her of Eddie because of the sweet gesture and his bat tattoo.

"I love him, Eddie, thank you". She hugs the bat tightly to her and he kisses her looking very pleased with himself.

"He's a cute little guy huh? Metal as fuck and baby you can put as many stuffed animals in my van as you like. I don't give a fuck what anyone says".

Beaming she kisses him.

She doesn't overfill the van too much. Only picking four of the very best and most meaningful ones. Though sometimes she sneaks Lil bat, Eddie, in.

When he finds out she called the bat Eddie at their next campout he got the softest look on his face and peppered her face with butterfly kisses then pulled her close so she lay sprawled over him.

"To be clear though princess, I'm the only Eddie who gets to cuddle up with you at night". Amused she nods and kisses him.

💞💫💞💫

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader

[finniestoncrane]

Ok I’ve this idea cooking in my mind brain for the the last couple days and I need someone to help make it a reality. Can get a little something with Arkham Eddie and his vigilante s/o who for the last couple of months have been having this strong bit of sexual tension between the two of them and after one of Eddie’s crimes fail and they have him cornered s/o decides “screw it” and finally decides to get Eddie in bed you can make it as grossly nsfw gutter minded as you want I actually encourage it

ok ok i love this??? i think him having sexual tension and a bit of flirty banter with someone is just HNG because honestly, he's a cheeky little shit and that's why i love him so like where he obviously lusts after batman, i gave him someone who is willing to reciprocate his weirdly obsessive affections

so yeah! here's my arkham riddler x gender neutral vigilante reader fic for you

frienemies

i'm sorry this took so long but i hope you enjoy it and i hope i interpreted it right, like i maybe took it slightly differently than you hoped but if i did just come back at me and i can work on it!!! 💚

minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff like i went whole hog and the second half is just porn yw

"You're no better than that idiot detective d-d-detective. I'll beat every one of you that tries to stop me stop me."

His voice rang through your ear piece, shrill and taunting and so loud.

"They can all come after me, one by one, but none of them will surpass the levels of intellect it takes to beat this genius genius."

The warbled tones, sharp static and echoes were grating, but as long as he was talking it meant he was distracted.

"And I bet you think that because I can't see you, because you've evaded my cameras c-cameras, that you're somehow smart now now? But I can still hear you. I've got microphones, yes microphones, all over the city th-the city."

He didn't, and you knew it. Because you were splashing loudly through the sewers, potentially within arms reach of his workshop. And he was none the wiser. It was exciting, the thrill of finally facing him. Adrenaline pumped through your veins and underneath, a tinge of something more, warming your blood and flushing your cheeks.

"It's a matter of brains over brawns b-b-brawns, and while you're certainly very brawny, you don't have any brains brains."

Two whole months of trailing him, following his obnoxious little clues and riddles, spending hours of your time listening to him bang on about that bat as if he was the only vigilante who existed.

"Not that...I have observed your brawns brawns. Although, I wonder how much of that is just your little costume tume. We'd have to take it off to see what's really underneath underneath-neath."

You were jealous of him, actually. Jealous of anyone who had his attention more than you did. It was pathetic, really. But you'd spend so long thinking about him, studying him. How could you not have fallen for him, even just a little bit.

"I MEANT to see how little you had h-h-had, not that I want to see you out of your costume costume. You're vile v-vile. As if I would be persuaded by anything of that nature, let alone you you-you-you."

It was amazing how he could keep talking when you weren't even responding to him anymore. Could have been fear, you guessed. A habit he developed to drown out any of his deeper thoughts beyond crime, plotting and stupid puns. The way he got caught in his words was endearing though, and you hated to have to put an end to it.

"Surprise." You offered it in a dull tone, arms crossed in front of you and head tilted to the side, smile visible on your face, self-satisfied smirk gleaming in your eyes from behind your eye mask.

"Oh...shoot. You really do have to spoil all the fun, huh?"

"I hate to do it to you, Ed, I really do. Maybe, if you come quietly and don't make a fuss, I can show you the brawn underneath my costume, whaddaya say?"

His face beamed a bright and instant red and he furrowed his eyebrows. Taking his eyes off of you for a brief moment, long arms reaching for his cane that sat off to his side, he allowed you the time you needed to corner him against the slimy, brick walls of the Gotham sewers. With your arm under his neck and the other pinning his hands above him, you stared deep into his eyes.

Chests heaving with exertion, the space between you somehow drawing closer, you considered how handsome he was. How intriguing you found him. How two months of doing nothing but think of him had driven you past the point of rage and desire for vigilante justice, and had circled around to an intense crush.

It was the tension. The teasing, the obsessive notes left for you, the way he mocked you relentlessly, his attitude, his self-absorption. It was a bad thing to admit, but his constant bragging and self-congratulatory speeches had you truly believing that he was the smartest man in Gotham. Deserving of something better than the Batman, who was only stringing him along, mercilessly.

You could hear the longing in his voice, the way he spoke of him. There was a desire to be caught, to be interviewed and given a chance to unleash his inner thoughts to people who had to listen to him. And, as much as he enjoyed being elusive to the point of irritation to the GCPD, you could tell he was desperate to be captured, to be lauded for his crimes on the newspapers, to be the crowning achievement of Arkham's inmate population.

Why else would he leave a trail of neon green breadcrumbs leading right to him? He was lonely. Needy. And something about that notion drove you wild. The pathetic attempts at flirting, which he backtracked on as soon as he'd let them slip, the way you knew he watched you, constantly.

Without much thought, you kissed him, cutting off his ranting about how you should let him go because you must have been cheating blah blah blah. At first he was still, shock, maybe. Most likely defiance, not wanting to submit to feelings for someone who he should for all intents and purposes be hell bent on destroying. But he sank into it, straining his neck against your arm to get closer to you, deeper into the moment, tongue pressing out in hopes of getting more contact.

In a bold move, one that was incredibly risky and highly stupid, you eased off while keeping your lips to his. Removing your arm from his neck first, bringing it down to his side, placed softly on his hip. The other, warily removed from his wrists, allowing him freedom. Freedom to run.

But he remained, and with no restrictions his hands were flung quickly around your back, running up and down your spine desperately, pawing at you, scratching and grasping. They moved deftly to the front where he undid the belt and zip of your outfit, hands desperately clutching your bare flesh at the hips and using his powerful arms to spin you around and against the wall.

In a surprisingly submissive move, he fell to his knees, tugging at the material around your thighs to get better access. As you shrugged your shoulders and arms out, he yanked hard and exposed your body to the frigid and stale air before pressing his mouth to you, on you. He worked feverishly, tasting you, biting ever so gently where he knew it would elicit the most lurid reactions, tongue muscles, strong from the ridiculous amount of talking he did, finally put to good use as he teased your skin.

One hand against the wall to balance you, the other reached to stroke his cheek before travelling up to his hair, gripping it at the top and pulling him closer to you. His tongue, flat against you, lapped at your taste as he moaned and let you control him. But as you adjusted to the pleasure, deep pulsing waves of ecstasy ringing in your ears, he pulled away.

Mercifully, he began to kiss you again, dragging his cheeks, stubble delightfully brushing at your skin, down your neck and to your collarbone where he let his mouth hang agape, breathing in and inhaling you. Strength doubled with the adrenaline of arousal, he gripped onto you and turned you around with ease.

With your face pressed against the sharp texture of the wall, you hissed in pain and pleasure as he sucked on his fingers, lathering them in his spit before rubbing them against your entrance, although you were already embarrassingly ready and willing from his practised efforts of oral.

You could hear him unzip himself, spitting onto his palm and groaning as he stroked his cock and began to tease you with it, gently rubbing it up and down before easing the tip into you. He was an impressive thickness, and the sensation of just his head pushing past the tightness made you push yourself back onto him, both of you letting out a grunt as you took him in, whole.

It was interesting to note the absence of speech. You had imagined, and imagined a lot over the past couple of months, that he would be almost as insufferable during sex as he was in any other situation. A constant running commentary on the events. But he was breathy, deeply focused on the task at hand. The noises he did make were animalistic and carnal, grunting and growling interspersed with softer groans, an occasionally sweet whimper as he tossed his head back.

He whispered, most likely in an attempt to hide what he was saying, and you could hear your pseudonym being uttered softly with a growing passion, drowned out by the echoes of your bodies crashing against one another. It was sending you over the edge, and as you worried about how much longer he was going to last, impressed by his stamina and pacing, you knew you were unable to hold out much longer.

You called out his name, screaming it into the room, oddly intimate to refer to him by his first name but desperate to cry it out. Knees buckling, he held firm onto your hips as he began to tense up, fingernails in your flesh, spit seething from his gritted teeth as he held his tongue, fighting against instinct to praise you, to let you know you'd won him over. He came, hard, seed spilling out as he removed himself with a shaking moan. But his hands remained on your waist, soothing over the little dents where he had gripped tightly in orgasm. He leaned into your ear, kissing it softly before whispering.

"I can't let you win that easily. How about this time, you can go hide and I'll come looking for you. I promise you I'll be able to find you a lot quicker than you found me."

#finnie writes #arkham #arkham riddler #arkham!riddler #arkhamverse #batman #riddler #the riddler #riddler x reader #riddler x you #riddler fanfic #the riddler fanfic #the riddler fanfiction #riddler fanfiction #arkham games #edward nygma #edward nigma #edward nashton #gender neutral reader

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 11: Henry the Man-Beast

~The Man Cave~

As per Ray's orders, (y/n), Henry and Charlotte were sorting out all the junk which was kept in the Man Cave's storage rooms. There were machines, boxes, spare parts, and it was all theirs to reorganise. Of course, (y/n) loved a tidy workplace, but the prospect of the three of them doing all the work in one afternoon was exhausting.

"Ugh, why do we have to reorganise the stupid storeroom? Shouldn't Ray be doing this?" Henry asked the woman, who was emptying a load of boxes.

"Probably, but he's the one paying you two, so just tell Charlotte what that is so she can write it down."

"Uh, it's a big, heavy thing with things on it." The boy described it since he had no idea what it was or what it did.

"Great. Another big thing that's a thing with things on it." Charlotte complained. Her list wasn't making much sense.

"Ah, whatever." Henry shrugged it off, thinking that the poor stocktaking would make Ray sort through his own stuff next time.

"Right, you two, I'm going to take these back. Oh, don't touch anything while I'm not here, some of this stuff's pretty dangerous." (y/n) warned them in a serious voice, wheeling the boxes through the door next to the supercomputer.

"Ok." Henry leaned against a machine once she had disappeared. An orange light fizzled out from the top of the device and shocked Henry, making him convulse in pain. Charlotte watched in horror as the shock came to an end.

"What are you doing? Ray and (y/n) said not to mess with this stuff." She told him in a concerned voice.

"I wasn't messing with it. I just leaned on it--" The teen boy was cut off as Ray and Schwoz came through the sprocket.

"You're wrong," Ray said to his friend.

"I told you that--" Schwoz tried to argue back, but he was interrupted by the larger man.

"Give it up, Schwoz! The answer is wild monkeys." He shouted.

"It's not--" Again, Ray's voice overpowered him.

"Well, I told you you're wrong." They were both stubborn men, and without a referee to control them, their arguments got the better of them.

"I told you the answer is soup." Schwoz protested, the two of them walking down to where Henry and Charlotte were stood.

"Well, I disagree." Ray noticed the kids standing around.

"Okay, let's ask them." He gestured to the teens.

"Ask us what?" Since (y/n) was busy, the job of settling their squabbles was up to Henry and Charlotte.

"If you kids had to choose, would you rather..." Schwoz started.

"Be eaten by wild monkeys..." Ray said his answer.

"Or you get boiled in a big pot of soup." Schwoz finished, passing the query to the kids.

"What kind of soup?" Henry asked, as (y/n) came back, smiling when she saw all her friends together.

"Someone say soup?" She asked.

"Listen, my favourite little helper, would you rather--" Ray started to ask her, but unexpectedly, a beeping red alarm sounded on the wall. 

"Ugh, Gooch needs me. I'll be back down in a sec." Charlotte groaned, knowing her time in the Man Cave was up.

"Hey Ray, can we finish going through all this stuff tomorrow?" Henry asked his boss.

"Why? It's only five o'clock." Ray looked at his watch in confusion.

"We can't leave all his crap lying around." (y/n) said to Henry, the thought of living with a huge mess made her skin crawl.

"I know it's just that..." Henry started, but Charlotte shouted over from the elevator.

"He wants to leave early--" She tried to explain.

"Don't tell them!" Henry warned her.

"Okay. Henry's got a date!" Charlotte quickly said as the elevator doors closed and she went upstairs.

"Why did you have to--ughhh." Henry frowned and then turned around to the smiling adults behind him.

"It's not a date." Henry tried to keep them calm, but their excitement only grew. Henry, on a date? Yeah, they were going to be ecstatic!

"I bet it isss." Schwoz teased him.

"You gonna wear your fanciest pants?" Ray joined in, as the blush on the boy's face grew.

"You guys are terrible." (y/n) punched the two men on their shoulders, Henry glad she was there.

"Is she pretty?" She smiled cheekily at him, revealing that she was just as bad as the other two when it came to Henry's love life.

"Can I knock off early or what? And yes, she's very pretty." His answer made (y/n) squeal, happy that the kid was crushing on someone.

"Yeah sure, kid." Ray smiled at him.

"Thanks." The boy walked towards the tube area.

"Hey, where are you going to take her?" Schwoz asked him.

"To dinner at Sotto Voce," Henry replied, impressing the woman who looked up at where he was standing. 

"Oooo, Sotto Voce. I wish I had a man to take me there." She said, a tiny bit jealous that a 13-year-old girl was getting better dates than her. Ray looked at his best friend with a wistful gaze, wishing he could be the one to take her to dinner.

"How can you afford a place like that?" The superhero asked Henry, knowing that the classy restaurant was way more expensive than what he could afford.

"Because I took 100 bucks out of your wallet." Henry showed him the bill, as Ray's smile fell.

"What?" He said, as (y/n) laughed. Man, he'd been hustled by a kid half his age.

"Up the tube!" Henry was off before Ray could process what had happened, leaving the man to check his wallet. He cursed to himself when he noticed that Henry had swiped it.

"Hey. What is this machine? Did I make this?" Schwoz spoke out suddenly, the unknown object making him examine it with a confused face.

"No, my father made that. Long time ago." Ray sounded slightly downhearted at the thought of his father. Their estrangement had left him feeling hurt and abandoned.

"What this do?" Schwoz asked.

"Isn't it the doohickey that was supposed to make you even beefier?" (y/n) squeezed his arm, her small hand barely fitting his rock-solid bicep.

"Yeah, it was supposed to make me stronger, more powerful, you know, manlier." He developed her answer, fully explaining the intended purpose of the machine.

"So it didn't work." Schwoz deadpanned, and (y/n) snorted at his comment. 

"Nice one, Schwoz." She gave him a high-five, the joke was spot on.

"It was never tested on me," Ray said to him in an irritated voice and mussed up (y/n)'s hair as revenge for laughing at him.

"We tested it on my nerdy cousin," Ray explained.

"So, did it make him manly?" Schwoz asked, interested in knowing what went wrong.

"It made him too manly." The tall man said, remembering how his cousin transformed into a macho beast.

"The effects started slowly but... a few days later, he was...less of a man." He grew misty-eyed and mysterious, figuratively leaving his two friends on the edge of their seats.

"Yes?" (y/n) looked at him expectantly.

"More of a beast." He revealed, shocking them at the thought of the savage man.

"Ohhh." Schwoz and (y/n) winced back, Ray nodding at their reactions. They were all oblivious that whilst they were speaking, Henry was turning into a man-beast too. 

~

Charlotte screamed as she came back down in the elevator, tumbling onto the floor as it fell. Stumbling out, she brought the drinks they had ordered ten minutes beforehand.

"Here's your coffee." She handed the soggy cupholder to Ray, who looked down at the smashed cups with a frown.

"Thank you?" He looked at her in confusion, wondering where all the coffee had gone. Charlotte walked off as Ray picked up one of the cups and began to lick the remnants of the coffee off the side.

"The hell are you doing?" (y/n) asked him, taking the cups and their holder from his hands and dumping them onto the couch table.

"So...what are we gonna do with this manly machine?" Schwoz asked his boss, gesturing to the device in question.

"Oh yeah." He and (y/n) looked at it in thought.

"It's obviously majorly dangerous." Her words caught the attention of Charlotte, her face dropping at the mention of the machine that struck Henry.

"We better destroy it. Or I guess we could donate it to a school." He thought, believing that all the puny kids would benefit from being made tough.

"You just love to create problems for yourself, don't you?" (y/n) looked up at him.

"Hey...what do you mean that thing's dangerous?" Charlotte asked them, a sense of dread in her stomach.

"Well, it was designed to make people stronger, more powerful and manlier but it goes too far. Take a look at what it did to my cousin, Elliot." Ray pulled out his remote control and put a picture of his cousin on the monitor.

"Ew." Charlotte wrinkled her face in disgust.

"No, that's the before picture." He told her.

"Oh." She said awkwardly.

"I don't think he looks that bad." (y/n) looked at him and weighed up his features. Whilst he was no Ray Manchester, he wasn't the ugliest man she'd ever seen.

"Here's what Elliot looked like a week after my dad tested this machine on him." Ray wanted her to stop analysing his cousin in terms of attraction, so he changed the screen to a photo of a crazy, hairy-looking man.

"Yah!"

"Sweet cheese!" The two females hugged each other in fright from the picture.

"Yep. He turned into a man-beast." Ray said as the two parted.

"Hey, he looks like my sister." Schwoz stared at Elliot.

"Ha! Your sister wishes!" (y/n) joked, remembering how ugly Schwoz's sister was. 

"She is an animal." Ray joined in and the three adults laughed at their inside joke.

"She smells like a horse!" Schwoz giggled. He had no trouble talking about his sister like that since it was the truth. She smelt really, really bad. 

"She looks like a horse!" (y/n) said, the three of them laughing harder. Ray held his stomach and bent over in a fit of giggles. 

"Guys! You guys!" Charlotte urgently needed their attention.

"What?" 

"Yeah?" The men acknowledged as (y/n) wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"Henry accidentally touched that machine." The joy was instantly gone from their bodies as she spoke the words. 

"He..he turned it on? I told you to watch them." Ray asked Charlotte whilst looking at (y/n).

"I did watch them! I told them not to touch anything when I was in the back!" She insisted to him. She always took her job seriously and would never risk one of the kids getting hurt.

"He didn't mean to. His hand just hit one of those buttons and it went all...bzzz....bzzz." Charlotte explained, not wanting the woman or Henry to get into trouble.

"Uh-oh." Schwoz turned to the pale-faced best friends, as it sunk in that Henry was going to become a man-beast.

"Did you see Henry start to show any signs of..." Ray couldn't think of the right words.

"Exaggerated manliness?" The woman next to him finished.

"I'm--I'm not sure." Charlotte stuttered. She hadn't been concentrating on the boy enough to have noticed any obvious changes.

"Well, where is he?" Ray exclaimed, needing to find his sidekick and fast.

"He's having dinner with the pretty girl at Sotto Voce." (y/n) reminded him.

"Oh, right." He clicked his fingers as he jogged his memory.

"I hear they have good paninis." Schwoz butted in, getting off-topic.

"Oh, shut up, Schwoz. I gotta go get Henry before the symptoms advance too far and they become permanent." Ray snapped at him. There was no time for levity.

"Come with me." He snapped his fingers to the two girls and the three of them ran to the tubes. (y/n) wrapped her arms around Ray so they could share and not have to take multiple trips.

"Bye!" Schwoz waved at them as the tubes came down. He would look after the Man Cave whilst they were saving Henry.

"Up the tube!" Ray called out, his strong arms holding the girl tight.

"Buh-bye!" She wiggled her fingers at the little man and they lifted out of the Man Cave. 

~Sotto Voce~

Henry was stood at the waiting desk of Sotto Voce. The effects of the manly machine had started to become clear as he now had a beard coming through on his face. A man and his wife walked past, accidentally knocking into him, which normal Henry would've just brushed off, but macho Henry wasn't going to take it lying down.

"Oh, excuse me." The man apologised.

"Ohh, no. I will not excuse you." Henry barked at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you, I was just passing with--" The man said to him in a polite voice, not wanting to cause any trouble.

"What?! You wanna take a swing at me? Come on!" The boy said in a deep voice, raising his fists to the frightened man.

"Let's go, Mark." His wife pulled him away from the weird boy.

"Yeah...go Mark. Enjoy your salad." Henry seethed at him. Chloe walked up behind him, wearing a really cute, colourful dress with a blue purse and grey boots. 

"Hey, Henry." She greeted him with a smile.

"Hey, dude, what's up?" Henry picked her up and replied in his masculine voice.

"Uh, is that...are you growing a beard?" Chloe looked at him in confusion as she felt his face. No other 13-year-old boy in their school had a stubble like Henry's.

"Huh?" Henry touched either side of his face.

"Nah, I think I just need a shave," he smirked at her.

"Wow, when did you start shaving?" The girl asked him, wondering why he had started so early.

"I guess tomorrow morning, ha!" He said in a loud, laddish voice.

"Hey! Let's get us a table! We hungryyyy!!" The man-beast boy shouted across the restaurant, making the manager come across to tell them off.

"Young man, this is Sotto Voce, would you please lower your voice?" The posh man said in a low, silky-smooth accent.

"Yeah, I'll lower my voice." Henry crouched to the floor.

"WE HUNGRYYYY!" He howled, as his date stood there in embarrassment.

"Yeah! We gonna get food!" He shouted, disturbing the other diners as he led Chloe to a table.

~20 minutes later~

"Lasagne for the young lady." The waiter placed the food the two had ordered down on the table.

"Oh my god, it smells so good." Chloe complimented, smiling at the waiter.

"Yeah! Smell that!" Henry leaned over the table and stuck his nose really close to the girl's plate.

"And, um, are you sure you want your steak raw?" The waiter asked Henry, concerned at how unsafe the raw meat would be to eat without cooking it first.

"Yeah, man, just set it down, yeah." Chloe gagged at the raw meat, as Henry chucked the plate back to the server and stuck his fork into it.

"Okay, enjoy." She looked on in disgust at how Henry smelled the meat, then shoved it into her face.

"Oh yeah, smell that!" He brought it back down to his side of the table and began to chew on the meat with his hands. He tore a piece off, much to his date's repulsion. He chewed it like an animal, as Jasper came into the restaurant, clearly upset about something,

"Hey, Henry! Remember this guy?" The curly-haired boy marched over to their table. He was angry that Henry had cancelled on him to go on a date with a girl, and never gave him any notice.

"Bye, Jasper," Henry growled at him, so Jasper remembered what Piper had told him earlier on.

'If I were you, I'd tell Henry that he's rude, and then I'd shove his face down right into his food.' He liked the sound of her advice.

"What are you thinking about?" Henry said, breaking up his daydream.

"Your sister." Okay, that sounded wrong.

"What?" Henry asked in a grossed out manner.

"Now, I'm going to teach you a lesson." Jasper tried to push Henry's head into the steak on the table, but the manly machine had made the blond boy ten times stronger. They both grunted from the effort, but Jasper couldn't move him.

"Are you trying to push his head down?" Chloe asked in a weirded-out voice.

"Yeah, what are you doing?" Henry added, making Jasper stop from exhaustion. He walked over to another table and grabbed some vegetables from Mark's plate. Poor guy was just trying to have a nice dinner with his wife. Jasper threw them at Henry's face, enraging the aggressive boy.

Henry stood up and grabbed the meat lying on the table, slapping it across Jasper's face. The entire restaurant gasped at the harsh noise the steak made as it came into contact with Jasper's cheek.

"You just beef-slapped me." He cried, tears springing to his eyes at what his best friend had just done.

"You want some more?" He threatened, the meat still in his hand.

"Henry!" Chloe protested.

"You're--you're acting weird!" Jasper ran out of the restaurant before Henry could hurt him again. 

"Bye, Jasper!" The girl said sadly, as Henry sat back down with pride.

"Woo! Is it hot in here?" Henry tugged at his collar and unbuttoned his shirt to show off his chest hair to Chloe. The sight of the excessive amount of hair was starting to put her off her lasagna, as Henry leaned back into his chair. 

~Meanwhile~

Ray, Charlotte and (y/n) were sneaking into the restaurant, intent on finding and stopping Henry from becoming a fully-fledged man-beast. They hid behind a wall and looked at the couple on the date.

"Whoa, look at Henry's beard." Charlotte pointed out, seeing how the boy was shovelling lumps of steak into his mouth.

"And is that raw beef? He's gonna get a serious E-coli infection." (y/n) grimaced at the sight.

"I knew it. It's the effects of that device. Henry's changing." Ray said as he hid fully behind the wall.

"Then if we don't do something quickly, in a few more days he could be a full man-boy beast thing!" (y/n) whispered, panic in her voice.

"Why can't we ever have normal problems?" Charlotte complained, and the woman raised an eyebrow at her.

"Normal? He fights crime and I run his base under a store full of junk. We've never been normal." She joked, but Ray shushed her.

"Just, go get Henry. Make up some reason why he's gotta leave with you." He hissed to Charlotte, who looked reluctant to do as he asked.

"What's the problem?" (y/n) saw how she was contemplating the situation.

"I feel bad. Henry really likes Chloe and she's already mad at him." Charlotte explained to two adults, who had bent down to her eye level.

"Why?" Ray asked, wondering what Henry had done.

"Because he keeps flaking on her because he's always busy working for you." The best friends sighed, not aware of how much Henry was sacrificing in his normal life to help them out.

"I think you need to rethink your strategy." The woman spoke in Ray's ear, so he pushed the two females into a secluded corner.

"Okay. All right. I know how to get Henry out of here without Chloe thinking it's his fault." He said as he chewed a gumball.

"What are you gonna do?" Charlotte asked, as (y/n) checked if the coast was clear. Giving Ray a nod, he ducked behind a mesh wall and transformed into Captain Man.

"Wait here." He said to them, as he dashed into the restaurant. (y/n) and Charlotte eyed the mints on the reception desk and gave each other a look.

"Let's take 'em." The woman said as she picked up the box and poured them into the girl's jumper. Sucking on the confectionery, they watched as Ray worked his way awkwardly around the tables. Checking that no one was watching, he used his laser remote to set fire to some bread buns.

"Fire! Quick, everyone, exit the restaurant!" He shouted to the room.

"Captain Man?" Henry was confused to see his boss on his date.

"Wow." Chloe breathed out.

"Sir, you are at Sotto Voce. Please lower your voice." The manager said to the superhero, even though there was an emergency.

"Sorry. Sorry." He whispered in apology and began to tell all the tables to leave.

"Fire, please keep your voices down and exit the restaurant." He repeated as he ran around the room, the final table being Henry's.

"Fire don't scare me." Henry laughed.

"Well, fire do scare me," Chloe said, grabbing her purse and rushing out of the building.

"Thanks for coming." Charlotte and (y/n) were talking to the guests as they ran through reception. 

"Sorry, no mints left." (y/n) smirked at a woman who looked at the empty bowl.

"Appreciate your business." The younger girl hurried her along. 

"Get out." (y/n) said to the last few guests. Ray took out his laser and tried to stun Henry with it. However, his machoism stopped him from going down.

"Nuh-uh, dude. You're gonna have to zap me harder than that." Henry looked at him, shaking off the laser's effects. Ray zapped him again a couple times, Henry grunting and stepping back, but the boy was still on his feet.

"Come on, kid, I'm trying to help you. Just drop." Ray said to him.

"Well, sorry. Three little laser shots can't hurt me." His aggressive words frustrated Ray, so he spammed the laser at Henry, this time making him pass out. Ray caught him before he fell on the floor and lifted him over his shoulder. The waiters watched in fear and uncertainty.

"Ooh, panini." Ray grabbed the food as he walked to the doors.

"Come on, hurry!" (y/n) whispered at him and he jogged over.

"And stop eating that!" She said as he took a bite of the panini. He put Henry's unconscious body in the back of the Man Van with Charlotte.

"Want some?" He offered her the bread as they climbed into the front seats.

"Oh sweet cheese, yes." She smiled as he broke it in half and passed it to her. He knew the way to her heart like the back of his hand.

~The Man Cave~

Henry had entered the next stage of the transformation, and now he was a mindless savage. Schwoz and Ray had had to restrain him in a chair when he lashed out at (y/n) and Charlotte. Currently, the boy was roaring and struggling against the cuffs as the small genius finished his machine that would reverse the effects.

"Let me go!" His voice sounded demonic, making the two females shiver as they tweaked the machine's settings.

"Can we please hurry up and get this done?" Charlotte looked at Schwoz, feeling antsy at how animalistic Henry was becoming.

"It is ready. Pick up the meat-beef." Schwoz pointed to the steak they had prepared, and Henry went crazy at the sight of it once Ray raised in it his fist.

Schwoz released him from the chair and Ray dangled the meat in front of him.

"Throw it in!" (y/n) shouted at the superhero, who did as she said and lobbed it into the machine. Henry dived in after it, letting Ray lock him inside. 

"What happens now?" Charlotte asked.

"What that machine did to Henry, this machine do the opposite," Schwoz explained.

"Turn it on, turn it on, turn it on! He's getting worse!" (y/n) cried, feeling Henry beat against the door. Schwoz pulled a giant lever and pressed the controls. 

"I go speedy," Schwoz told her, as Ray pulled her away from the door and put his body in her place. If Henry broke out, he couldn't risk the boy hurting her.

The machine illuminated once it was activated, and Henry roared and groaned as his body changed. Ray moved the two girls away from the machine and pulled (y/n) behind his back. Slowly, the lights stopped, meaning that the process was over. They looked to Schwoz to see if it worked, but all the little guy could do was shrug. He had no idea if they had been successful. 

"Open!" Schwoz lifted the lever and the three opened the door, letting Henry step out. Only, something must have gone wrong, as now Henry was a girl.

"What happened? I feel so... different." Girl Henry said in a feminine voice and wiggled her hips, much to the horror of the four other people in the room.

"Oh my God, it's Henrietta!" (y/n) exclaimed, and Ray quickly picked up the girl and put her back in the machine. 

"I need to make some adjustments," Schwoz said in an abashed voice. He quickly typed away on the machine's screens and Ray, Charlotte and (y/n) watched on with bated breath.

"Okay, we go again." The genius activated the machine and it lit up again. Smoke poured from the vents and they could hear Henry's groans. As the process came to an end, they tiptoed towards the door. Schwoz gave Ray a grave nod, knowing that they had to see if it had worked.

A figure stepped out of the machine and collapsed into the superhero's arms. His face looked up, and to the man's delight, there was no facial hair, or female features staring back at him.

"Ray?" Henry asked in a hoarse voice.

"Kid!"

"Henry!" They all piled onto Henry in a group hug, so relieved to have him back to normal. Henry laughed and patted them all on the back as he returned the hug.

"What happened to me?" He questioned them after he pulled back.

"Oh, you nearly became a man-beast," Charlotte told him and the boy had a disturbed expression on his face.

"Then Schwoz turned you into a girl." (y/n) added on, making Schwoz run upstairs when Henry looked at him with anger, which quickly turned to dread when he remembered the disastrous date. 

"Oh no! Chloe! I gotta go home and apologise!" Henry cried out, running to the elevator.

"Yeah, I should go too. Rescuing one man-boy beast is way out of my job description and I'm beat." Charlotte groaned, following her friend across the room.

"Bye guys!" The teens waved as the elevator doors slid shut, leaving Ray alone with his best friend.

"Stay safe!" The woman called out to the kids, turning away to the computer once they were gone.

"Hey." Ray started, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Yeah?" (y/n) didn't look away from the screen.

"Sotto Voce is probably open again." He mentioned, shuffling his feet and looking down.

"Yeah, so?" She wasn't picking up on his hints.

"We could get some more paninis." The man poked her shoulder with a cheeky grin, making her turn around.

"After everything that happened tonight?" She raised her eyebrows, but he just smiled.

"Yeah, I'll even buy you an ice cream." Ray offered.

"Okay then. But I want two ice creams." She giggled after thinking for a moment. She stood up and linked her arm in his. They walked to the elevator together, their hearts fluttering in each other's company. 

Looks like Ray got to take her to dinner after all.

#drex stinklebaum #fanfiction #jace norman #bomika #captain man x reader #kid danger #nickelodeon #miles macklin #chapa de silva #danger force season 3 #henry danger #danger force #dangerverse #ray manchester fanfiction #ray manchester #ray manchester x reader #henry hart #mika macklin #xreader #reader x character #x reader #reader insert #female reader #readerxcharacter #fanfic #friends to lovers #lovers #unrequited love #best friends to lovers #cross posted on wattpad

[somuchyoudontknow]

I had a dissertation written about Chis 'Clown'' Evans and his racist, pos gf Alba Baptista but fuck it. Y'all already know the tea. My issue with all this bullshit is how his PR/ CAA agency are gaslighting his fans. I'm not one of his biggest fans. I didn't really get into his acting roles until the fist Captain America film which I watched in 2020 for the first time. He did a PHENOMENAL job! Chris has talent, he's really great at stunts, he has the build of a super hero- everything seemed to align for him. Until he got a little too cocky (no pun intended).

He was rocking the Gray Man premieres/interviews. Breaking the internet with his looks and fans eating up all of his interviews. Then he dropped this... I'm laser-focused on finding a partner bullshit. You should have seen all the women on Twitter throwing themselves at him, of course, he never replied to any of them. We know he had his hands full (of shit).

SMA comes around and people are psyched because Chris Evans finally gets the title but... a little blurb about him dating then 25 y.o. Alba Baptista for over a year sends the internet and the fandom into a meltdown- let a lone they were breadcrumbing, her team and gargoyle friends trolling his fans; and to top it all off- here bffs are Nazi sympathizers, racists and fatphobes. Chris has too many pictures of him with Alba and sitting with that crusty booger Justin. I honestly am disgusted by Alba, Justin and Kiko; these assholes have the nerve to make fun of people's race and appearances when all three of them look like the witches in Hocus Pocus.

Justin gave a half-assed apology on Twitter but people could tell it was insincere. Kiko allegedly has an entire website dedicated to Neo-Nazism. You trying to tell me Alba doesn't share the views of her radioactive roach friends? The three of them are delulu. First of all, the Warrior Nun fandom really hyped Alba the fuck up like she was Zendeya of Selena Gomez. Alba isn't a good actress. I tried watching Warrior Nun and couldn't get through the first episode bc her acting so terrible. I read an interview where she said she never took acting lessons, that's the only thing I believed Alba hasn't lied about- her lack of acting lessons. Furthermore, for all the hype her pr tried to do for her, she's low rent. No, I don't think she's that pretty either- another lame wannabe starlet with fake tits who badly edits her Instagram photos.

Chris Evans is stupid. I can't put it any plainer than that. He prob got a bunch of nudes from Alba and he thought he hit the jackpot. I DO believe they were in a relationship but due to the long distance between them- I think they both idealized love, got caught up in the sex and confused it with actual love- which I don't think either one of them knows what real love is. I was team PR for a minute but then I saw how Chris and Alba interacted at the Ghosted premiere: They stepped out the car together, he said something to her and she laughed. That didn't convince me that they were in love but they're definitely fucking.

Again, Chris Evans is stupid. He took a two-bit Jennifer Lawrence wannabe and put her racist, delusional crazy ass on a pedestal and let those 3 ugly, pasty-face, racist, fatphobic, acne-riddled morons mess up his fan base. All because of what? Love?

There is a Bible scripture 1 Corinthians 13 that says:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I don't care if Chris and Alba break up or stay together because the damage is done. His PR abused his fans and he let them do that. He's proud to be with her- that Valentine's Day photo dump looked janky but reall enough to see they were dating. We've all seen pics of her letting us know she was at his houses in MA and VT- she did it bc she thinks she's queen of the Evans' castle or some delusional shit. The girl is NUTS. So what does that make him?

Chris Evans is a fuckboy, a privileged cis-hetero male who maybe grew up around a few POC but his environment was predominantly white. I think he's okay with racist comments bc he prob has some in his own family. That's why he's been so comfortable having Alba and her pitbull face friends IN HIS HOME!

I need Chris to throw away the A Starting Point app- there is no way in hell he can go back to that Mr. Goody two-shoes image. I find him to be manipulative and calculating and yes - RACIST! He's been too comfortable around those gremlins for Portugal for too long to convince me otherwise. He just wants to sweep all of Alba's and his own bullshit under the rug. Chris Evans is also delusional. He can't blame the fans that supported you for 20 years and think you're going to be respected. I know he has been bullied but he brought this shit on himself for hooking up with a racist, antisemitic spoiled fucking brat.

Well, as you can see, I longer like Chris Evans, lmao! I just think he's a fucking douche bag that thinks he's cool with his dumb-ass, clownish goofy younger gf who thinks she's a star. Alba thinks she's hot with her big ass head, she look like Ghostface from Scream without that photoshop and makeup.

Chris is the poster boy for performative liberalism, pseudo-intellectualism, and complete head-assery. I can't get over how someone builds a successful, 20-year career and throw it all away for a racist, vomit-inducing trash box like Alba Baptista? An insecure man-child with deep-rooted low self-esteem who needs people around him to kiss his ass and soothe his wounded ego.

I don't hate Chris Evans, I don't like all the fuckery and drama his actions caused, he's just another Hollywood idiot with a pretty surface and a hollow brain. I hate shitty diaper Lolita Alba, crusty-ass Justin, and tire track-faced Kiko bc I hate racist& nazi sympathizing fatphobic assholes.

I really hope for the best for his fans because y'all didn't deserve any of this. I just can't with Chris, he's been fake af since Nov 22' or even longer than that- pretending to be this idealized version of himself; trying to be Steve Rogers when he's more like Steve Segal: mediocre, problematic, and consistently starring in terrible movies with a bad lace front wig.

.

#blackwell008 #chris-evans #alba-baptista