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bookreviewcoffee · 4 months

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If we were the villains of M.L. Rio.

Shakespearean passions rage in the book, only they are provoked by human stupidity. A group of students are studying at a theatre school.

The plot centres on seven characters who are studying to be actors and are in their final year. During their studies they have turned into a kind of family, and also formed an ideal theatre company, where everyone is in his place: Richard - king or tyrant; James - eternal ;hero Alexander - villain; Meredith - seductress; Ren - ingénue; Philippa - chameleon, able to play any role, even male.A Oliver - eternal assistant and squire, who plugs holes. Oliver is also the main narrator of the story, though not the main character. Amusingly, until the very end of the tragedy, he is exactly the same as his eternal helper role, though we see the story through his eyes and feel it through his heart. And what a big heart it is!

True, there is an eighth hero of the book, Shakespeare. He is everywhere, because the characters put on his plays, communicate in his words, and without knowing his works, you can miss a considerable layer of the narrative. After all, the characters are not just playing his characters, but very tragically repeating their story without wanting to. From this stems their personal tragedy.

This book is reminiscent of Donna Tartt and her "Secret History", in atmosphere close to the film "Kill Your Loved Ones".

Their lives are filled with art, booze, drugs and Shakespeare. The guys come from different social backgrounds, each has difficulties with their parents and a favourite cause. It would seem that they are like-minded. But they're also rivals. And also envy, and also the vicissitudes of love. As Oliver admits, the actors feel too strongly, so the story is entirely built on emotions. You sympathise with the guys, even when they are at fault, even the exasperated Richard. As painful and emotional as the hatred is, the book describes love. Oliver loves and protects all of his friends, but his feelings for his best friend James and the beautiful Meredith are especially strong. With James they hit it off hard, so it can't even be called love, more like an addiction, they are like Achilles and Patroclus, Macbeth and Banquo. James in his final year sometimes changes his role from hero to villain, but Oliver is still his loyal shadow, conscience and protector. "But who were we? In ten years I never found the right word to describe us" The ending of the story is sad, the author gives us enough information to make up our own minds for ourselves. It's a simple story that will surely stay in your heart for a long time.

"- Do you blame Shakespeare for something?

- I blame him for everything."

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fanficfanattic · 3 months

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Goal, Chance and/or Away (purely taking words from this football commentary rn lol)

I am once again impressed with the gems my recent word challenges have excavated. Six fic snippets under the cut.

Goal

1. From a fic where a newly returned Jamie sees a man drug a lady’s drink at a bar and intervenes. But without context it just looks like Jamie got in a bar fight.

He knows it plays into the idea that he is a prima donna, a moody little bitch, feels like its proof that he’s more trouble than he’s worth. But he can’t help laying in bed; with the team that can barely stand him downstairs watching a movie, while he’s been fucking grounded to his room like the child Roy always said he was, and feeling desperately alone.

He hadn’t cared about being alone, before Ted. During most of his time with Ted, even. His dad had always made him either actively drive people away or that was just the practical application of conforming to his demands. He’d been used to it. It was all he’d ever known.

And then Keeley said he should stop battling the people trying to help him. And he sacrificed the reminder he’d taken from home, of home, when he left it. And danced around a bonfire after Roy Kent said he was right about something. Dani had thrown his arm around him. He’d sung with the lads…

It was fun, and it made it hurt even more when the next day he’d gone back to how it had always been. He didn’t tell Ted how much time he’d spent fantasizing about what it would have been like to have gotten to stay. To develop those tiny first buds of friendships.

To have never relegated Richmond. To be playing in the now with his teammates but versions of them he’d grown alongside for months. Who never got extra pissed at him for shit talking them on tv, and destroying their Captain’s career, for sending them down.

To be trusted. Before, the only thing a team had cared about was wether they could trust him to score. Which was still technically true. But they hadn’t ever wanted more from him, and he certainly hadn’t been putting extra out there for free. Besides he hadn’t trusted anyone else much either. Maybe Man City to be good players and to work together towards a common goal. And Richmond to pass him the ball to score the first time around.

Now he trusted Dani to smile at him even when no one else would. He trusted Jeff to subtly nod, but not more than that, because he had greeted Jamie when he returned before realizing how mad everyone else was at him. Not that Jamie blamed him. He’d gone out of his way to message the man saying the small nod was probably better for both of them.

He hadn’t realized it until the moment Ted didn’t even let him talk that he’d trusted the man to be fair. He talked a good talk, but he had trouble walking the good walk, and was pretty lousy at both when it came to Jamie.

2. Now that the team has been gelling, and Roy understands how Jamie’s mind works more, he’s got a plan to run circles around West Ham.

“Kent, the fuck mate! You said you could keep in position!”

“Fuck you Tartt! Maybe if you weren’t-“

They had been yelling about the play in the heat of being pissed off at each other. Jamie had telegraphed the pass to Roy very clearly. And the defender who was supposed to be on the left, loosely marking Sam, tore off to be another line of defense between Roy Kent and their goal.

Unfortunately for them, even when Roy and him had been out for blood against each other, they’d have never been that stupid. Jamie doesn’t even twist his body fully the way it should be for the kick. It still rolls smoothly to Sam who buries it in the back of the net from his completely cleared lane.

Chance

1. From the Investigative Journalist epic.

“…for as long as I remember, when I heard people say things, I always thought they meant it however the worst possible way is. But a lot of people say it while meaning it in the best possible way turns out.”

“And how does this relate back to you thinking people are rude when they talk around a subject?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m trying to do that more.”

“What more?”

“Identify when I’m doing that kind of thinking that what someone is doing is the worst version it could be. So, society probably isn’t trying to be rude by talking around things. I think it’s accidentally rude.”

“Do you mean incidentally?”

“What’s the difference?”

“They both mean something happened by chance. Accidental implies that the thing happened by carelessness while incidental indicates it would still happen this way even if people were taking care.”

“I think people want to believe it’s that last one but I believe it’s more often the first one. Cause I can be the same way. I normally don’t think much before talking, and if I did that more, I’d say things differently or maybe not say anything at all.”

2. This is also from the platonic a/b/o fic I didn’t realize had so many scenes already sketched out. The scenario is that James had a shady doctor prescribing Jamie pills that included an (i fucking guess) untraceable dynamic suppression med. When his dad is too busy to deal with a refill, Jamie asks Richmond’s med team to prescribe him a new vitamin pack.

“Oh that bastard. I’m gonna kill him this time, Simon, I am!”

“Georgie, c’mon, let’s focus on Jamie now and murdering later, yeah?”

“Fine, fine! So doctor, what about that? Like I believe his father would hurt him, cause that’s his way, but the how doesn’t make any sense. With vitamins?”

“Well, we don’t know if there is anything different between the vitamins his dad got for him and what we provided here. The best way to find out is with a blood test.

And you’re Jamie’s medical health proxy. So-“

“Yes, you’ve got my. You need to do a blood draw? Run tests?”

“Yes ma’am. You’re granting permission for the draw?”

“Yes, of course. What the fuck. How-how soon will you know? Does he have to go to hospital? It’ll take us almost four hours to get there. Do we-“

“Georgie, she can’t answer any questions if you don’t give her a chance, love. Take another deep breath for me, okay? In and in and in. Hold and hold and hold. Out and out and out. Okay, again.” And after she kept at it, he addressed the doctor again.

3. From that evil fic I teased about. I’ve played coy about what happened before now but you caught me! Rebecca walks onto the practice pitch ‘without Jamie’, Ted notes to himself.

“Jamie’s parents were in a car accident this morning. That’s why I called for him. His mother is being held overnight for observation and is quite understandably shaken. She called Man City to get a hold of Jamie, and when she explained what was going on she was able to talk with Pep. He promised he’d talk to Jamie so she could rest.

And then he called me directly.”

It was silent for a moment, and she was tempted to look around to better gauge player reactions. She kept her eyes on Ted, instead, because his was both more important and certainly more interesting. As she’d begun her story, he’d paled alarmingly.

And he failed to spill forth some folksy American tale to talk circles around everyone. Instead he hoarsely asked only one question.

“And his father?”

It gave away a weakness he had, which Rebecca was sure he neither realized he’d done nor that it was one. And why would he be worried about that, she reminded herself, when he also doesn’t realize he’s in game of your making.

“Ah, I should have been more precise in my language. His biological father divorced his mother when he was still an infant, I’ve been informed. It was his stepfather that was driving and took the brunt of the impact. He died on scene.”

She didn’t say it icily or meanly. She just said it without warmth. And that impacted the players more than she’d thought possible. Unfortunately it took time for her to understand that, because at the moment everyone just appeared to be in shock.

Ted didn’t ask anymore questions, and the silence was getting uncomfortable even for her.

“Well, since she took her late husband’s last name, there is a chance this won’t make the papers without the name Tartt attached. Still, if it does, Keeley made some excellent points about how we want to look. So no one go on your socials until she’s spoken with you.

Back to training now.” And she turned to walk away, not once looking back.

Away

1. ^ Chance #3

2. ^ Goal #1

3. I shamelessly stole this idea from a fic where Ted has Jamie stay with Roy in a similar manner as hockey players sometimes do? Apparently. So season 2 Jamie returns to Richmond. And Ted cooks up a thing where Jamie is going to room with Sam. Help them get their differences settled. And then…and then James Tartt shows up.

Jamie sort of unthinkingly says “Oh, Ted knows about me da’”. And Sam is sure that Jamie must have misunderstood what happened until he hears about Ted walking away but sending the soldier. And the conversation Jamie and Ted had in the Crown & Anchor.

#jamie tartt #dani rojas #jeff goodman #ted lasso #referenced attempted date rape #bar fight but make it a rescue #roy kent #trick plays #a/b/o #alpha beta omega #platonic a/b/o #death of a parent #death of a stepparent #georgie ted lasso #jamie’s mum georgie #simon ted lasso #jamie’s stepdad simon #sam obisanya #james tartt sr

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human-still-developing · 1 year

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I think in a way all the main characters from the secret history have a greek god equivalent which such a powerful meta-narrative created by Donna Tartt.

Julian of course is Zeus; all powerful, untouchable and superficially the bestower of justice. All the characters look up to him as the great father (like how Zeus was)....until we realise he's actually just a coward who wants to save his own skin (even the most casual greek mythology reader would know how terrible zeus truly is).

Henry is Dionysus; tragic back-story, favourite of Julian, attractive and a natural leader. His obsession with the bacchanal (from all the six, he was the one most driven to do this) also makes sense then -- despite the 'order' that surrounds him, he is intrinsically drawn to chaos.

Charles is Apollo; likeable, brilliant but once you peel back his carefully crafted exterior, he is just as ruthless as the rest of the six. Camilla, his twin sister would be Artemis; untouchable (she also remains single throughout the book despite everyone being in love with her), clever and beautiful.

Francis I see as Hermes...god of messages (he's the only one who really stays in touch with Richard and keeps the group together at the end), travel and boundaries (with his home being like the 'safe place' for the entire group). Hermes is also the god of tricksters...while Francis doesn't play any practical jokes, Richard is constantly deceived by him (until he comes to realise that Francis is really no better than the rest of the group).

Now this one is a bit of a curve-ball but I personally see Bunny as Prometheus. You know, the titan who was favoured by Zeus until he gave the mortals fire and then was cursed to eternal damnation? While Bunny isn't quite as sacrificial, his realisation of the murder is the first straw in the group's elaborate lies coming undone (the way that Prometheus's sacrifice allowed the humans to gain some level of power against the gods).

I think that Richard then fits Ariadne. A minor goddess who as a mortal (mortal signifying the characters not related to the ancient greek class) is betrayed by the people who love her and then dumped on Dionysus' shore (remember Henry taking Richard to hospital that winter?). She falls for Dionysus (okay maybe this is a little bit self-indulgent...Richard/Henry <3) and the freedom she gains from being around with him (like how Richard tries to escape his childhood and has an obsession with beauty). Eventually, her downfall is through trusting the freedom that Dionysus gave her (the way that Henry plans to pin the blame on Richard during the end of the book)...quite similar to how the book doesn't end happily for any of the characters.

Also Judy Poovey is Aphrodite for absolutely no reason except that she's stunning....

Isn't it ironic how out of all of them, only Bunny and Richard aren't olympian gods?

Every time that I think I'm over this book I discover another thread....

#writblr #writers on tumblr #the secret history #richard papen #henry winter #bunny corcoran #camilla macaulay #charles macaulay #francis abernathy #julian #judy poovey

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arcanumsposts · 6 months

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Day Two - Nine of my favorite books and why.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

The Secret History is definitely my favorite book I’ve read. The story is written so beautifully and in a way it speaks to me. “The snow in the mountains was melting, and bunny had been dead for several weeks before came to understand the gravity of our situation.” That opening sentence pulled me in almost immediately.

I first read this book this past winter, I had bought it two years prior and never got around to reading it, it was more so I had been in a reading slump for a while. A really bad snow storm had hit my area where I live and it was -70° fahrenheit with the wind chill and the entire county had lost power for seven hours. I didn’t want to waste the battery on my phone or laptop in case of an emergency. So I lit a candle that I could hold, I grabbed The Secret History and I sat in the small love seat in my living room with a blanket and I started reading it with candlelight.

This book maybe changed my life. My outlook on life is so different, and I can genuinely say that I have changed so much as a person after reading this book. I don’t mean to glamorize it because I know what Donna’s intentions were when writing this but, this book truly brought me out of my reading slump and the depression spell I was under.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

I don’t believe I could even express words to describe why this is one of my favorite books. I fear it is because, I, Myself relate to Dorian in a way. I fear my youthful days are only passing me. I understand it is different for Dorian but as for myself, I hate the idea of death, of never achieving or fulfilling my desires or pleasures.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

This book has to be on this list because mary shelley is my love. I absolutely adore her. But with Frankenstein, I love the idea of a mad scientist. In a way though, I feel I relate to the monster in Frankenstein. Rage, Grief, Loneliness. That my life has no meaning than to serve a “master.” Taking revenge on others who have wronged me or simply accidentally hurting another. I think this book is a beautiful representation of love, revenge, life. And it’s warnings of advanced science, which I guess you could say is very relevant for today.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

I love the set up of the story in this book. The gothic theme of it all is so addicting. But other than that, i could care less for the theme of good vs evil because I love vampires and the whole myth behind them. Really I only enjoy this book because of the gothic vampire element of it all. Very comforting I guess I could say.

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio

If We Were Villains is another dark academia novel, similar to The Secret History. I don’t quite understand the debate over which book is better because they are both very different books except the dark academia element of it all. The students in this book are very normal, I’d say, very similar to how theatre kids were when I was in school. I think it is very beautiful, the symbolism of Shakespeare and all of their actions. Oliver saying he blames shakespeare for everything that happened. The story between Oliver and James. The ending wrecked me. All in all, I think IWWV is a beautiful story. There should be no debate whether this book or that book is better. Enjoy what you want.

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

I found myself enjoying this book because of how I relate to Ivan in the book. Ivan’s takes on religion, mortality and his philosophy, i found myself questioning myself those same concepts at times in my life. Like Ivan, we prefer logic and intellect over heart and emotion. Ivan traps himself in his logic because of his trauma from his father, he’s set in his way of thinking and in doing so, he keeps people at a distance, as he believes he does not deserve that kind of happiness. I relate to that in so many ways, never letting people get too close nor letting myself love. Keeping others at a distance and acting cold.

The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe

The raven I believe is one of my favorites because of the symbolism of madness. Losing his loved one and being tortured by the raven, continously saying “nevermore”. How grief and sadness can overtake an individual in such a way that it consume them entirely.

Macbeth by Shakespeare

I like the idea of Macbeth for starters. The symbolism of how ambition can lead to something estranged and dangerous. Something wicked this way comes. Fair is foul, foul is fair. This play is especially interesting to me because of the history of the making of macbeth. How it’s rumoured to be cursed by witches after Shakespeare had been warned as to not use real incantation.

Kill Switch by Penelope Douglas

This one may be controversial because of Damon Torrance. I sympathize with Damon’s trauma yet I do not defend his actions. I only found this book to be my favorite from the series because of the inner monologue of Damon. The pain and suffering he endured. I found myself relating to his pain and how I act out and become cold and distant just as Damon did. My trauma is not the same as Damon’s but it is very similar.

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thetarttfuldickhead · 1 year

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"I’m not even a hardcore shipper but what the hell am I supposed to do when the when “let’s get lost, let’s get lost in each others arms” plays over Roy and Jamie biking away from the windmill? Hmm?"

bro exactly 😂 like I wasn't against the ship, not a notp, but I didn't actively ship the pair at all or anything. but it's like, what am I supposed to do!! how can I not fall for this now!! you can lead me to water and damn I will drink okay!

You cannot be blamed or faulted in any way, dear nonny! This episode was a whole new level, that’s for sure (particularly, I feel, with the shared look and smile in front of the windmill and then the music starts playing… I mean, come on, what WAS that? Up until then it could have been just two buddies being buddies, but that just read a little too goddamned romantic to me. Doesn’t mean I think it’s intended to be read that way, by the by, but even so).

To be honest, I did ship them before… but a little hesistantly? Like, with how complex and gorgerous and layered their relationship is, I wasn’t – and am still not, if I’m being honest – sure I want or need romance and sex thrown in there as well. Sometimes I think that the inclusion of that tends to overshadow other aspects and reduce the relationship to being primarily about this one thing? I wouldn’t want that, not when we have the way Roy is obviously something of a paternal influence on Jamie, but Jamie is the only one of the players that quite often take the role of Roy’s peer? The way Roy’s being the only person Jamie is still a bit of a prick to at times, but also the person Jamie actively seeks out to comfort and help? How Roy is far rougher on Jamie than on anyone else, still thinks him a prima donna and fragile little bitch, but also pays him so much attention? Is willing to sacrifiece sleep and so much of his time to train him? Quoting one Jamie Tartt, “that’s mad, innit?”.

So I kind of want them to grow into something more, but I’m also resisting the idea that romance would actually be more. Romance and/or sex to me isn’t some higher order of relationship, not something necessarily deeper or more meaningful that any other strong relationship. I like what we have. I think is plenty.

But, okay, Roy and Jamie kissing would objectively be really, really hot, so of course I want that! They’d be such an interesting couple! Give me that! But maybe don’t! It’s complicated.

Now, Roy and Jamie and Keeley I ship unreservedly. This is the endgame I want (although one I deem sadly unprobably, if not wholly hopeless!). You might questions why my potential objections against Jamie x Roy don’t apply here, and that’s very fair and I don’t have a good answer, except there’s something about there being three of them that changes the dynamic to make it inherently complex and intriguing and yeah, that’s vague, but that’s what I’ve got.

Thank you for the ask, nonny - and happy shipping!

#asks #jamie tartt #roy kent #3x06 #i'd say i'm a shipper but i'm an ambigious one #my stuff

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unravelingthepages · 1 month

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If We Were Villians- a review (read: an explanation for my adoration for this book)

If We Were Villians by M. L Rio is a dark academia book that I will probably always remember fondly. I loved the writing, the characters, and their respective personalities so so much. I definitely found it a 5 star read. Read below to find out more about why I would recommend it to you too :))

(I do have a word of warning- please do not try to compare it to The Secret History by Donna Tartt. I went in with this impression that it's similar and though it has surface level similarities, it is very different. While that impression did not affect my love for this book, it did give me expectations that were not fair to this book and the author's writing. Yes, both are within the realm of dark academia but If We Were Villians is much faster paced and should not be compared to The Secret History which for me atleast was a book to slowly digest and not binge read like I did the former. That being said, I loved and highly recommend reading both!! You can read my review of The Secret History by Donna Tartt here in case you're interested- https://unravelingthepages.wordpress.com/2023/02/18/the-secret-history-reasons-i-loved-it/)

Book blurb

Oliver Marks has just served ten years in jail - for a murder he may or may not have committed. On the day he's released, he's greeted by the man who put him in prison. Detective Colborne is retiring, but before he does, he wants to know what really happened a decade ago.

As one of seven young actors studying Shakespeare at an elite arts college, Oliver and his friends play the same roles onstage and off: hero, villain, tyrant, temptress, ingenue, extra. But when the casting changes, and the secondary characters usurp the stars, the plays spill dangerously over into life, and one of them is found dead. The rest face their greatest acting challenge yet: convincing the police, and themselves, that they are blameless.

Why you should read it

-I think I had a rather limited understanding of how Shakespeare's plays were meant to be acted until now. But after this book- the way Shakespeare is almost an active character in this book… chef's kiss

“Do you blame Shakespeare for any of it?” The question is so unlikely, so nonsensical coming from such a sensible man, that I can’t suppress a smile. “I blame him for all of it.”

The characters were frankly amazing. I loved how each character was, their personalities were so dynamic and just so real. A large part of it was how Oliver (the narrator and protagonist) describes them and how we get to see them through his lenses.

“For us, everything was a performance.” A small, private smile catches me off guard and I glance down, hoping he won’t see it. “Everything poetic.”

“When did we become such terrible people?” “Maybe we’ve always been terrible.”

The conversations between the characters. They were full of dry humor, pain, hidden meanings and literary references- sometimes all at once! They lived deep in the world of theatre and the author's writing transports you right into the world where pretty words masked tragedies alongside the characters.

“When we first walked through those doors, we did so without knowing that we were now part of some strange fanatic religion where anything could be excused so long as it was offered at the altar of the Muses. Ritual madness, ecstasy, human sacrifice.”

All-in-all, while I do think you need to read this book to understand exactly what I'm talking about, this should give you a brief delve into the world and help you decide whether this is something you would pick up. If it IS something you would pick up, I hope you love it as much as I did!! It's the kind of read that sticks with you as a fond memory of a read you loved and one can get engrossed in during your fifth re-read, just as easily as you had the first time.

If you’re planning on purchasing this read, please consider using the following amazon affiliate link to purchase it. It would be at no extra cost to you and would really help me out, thank you!

purchase this read: https://amzn.to/4a8BhkR

“..I need language to live, like food—lexemes and morphemes and morsels of meaning nourish me with the knowledge that, yes, there is a word for this. Someone else has felt it before.” M.L. Rio, If We Were Villians

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#book blog #book recommendations #book review #book reviews #dark academia books #must read #reading #if we were villains #dark academia

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sparklygraves · 1 year

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[Xandra] laughed, bleakly. Well, kid, guess what? I've been around the block a few times-- I do know. [Boris is] going to end up in jail by the time he's eighteen (...) and dollars to donuts you'll be right there with him. I mean, I can't blame you," she said, raising her voice again, "I loved your dad but he sure wasn't worth much..."

The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt (page 368)

( boreos-- I’m so into this Xandra quote because in it she equates her relationship with Theo’s dad to Theo’s realtionship with Boris. Xandra doesn’t approve of Boreo, but she sees it! )

#boreo #tgf #the goldfinch #xandra #also im so intrigued by Xandra & Theo's relationship #tgf book #the goldfinch book #donna tartt

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king0fcrows · 9 months

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I read The Secret History by Donna Tartt and it was like drinking glasses of alcohol you loathe.

You do get pleasantly drunk in the end but the process isn’t worth it.

(I will fully admit this was kind of a hate read—not because it’s badly written! It felt very exact in what it’s wanting to say—but because it’s a cult classic and I wanted to say “yeah I read the whole thing” before explaining why I hated this experience.)

It was very well written— but I simply hate every single character as a person.

I didn’t find a single redeeming quality—and I don’t mean in a “moral” sense. I can enjoy awful immoral characters as long as they have something that makes them appealing to myself personally—whether it be that they’re charming, funny, witty, suave, competent, whathaveyou—but these characters are none of those things.

And the things is!— the narrative is very very aware of this! In fact, it’s kind of the entire point—that these characters are shallow wannabe kids who desperately cling to a false sense of superiority to mask their deeply cripplingly insecurities, convoluted nueroses, and horrendous disregard for other people in general.

And it makes them just. The. Worst.

Like, the story is very effective in its goals of asking “want to watch these people eat each other and in the most embarrassing way possible?”and I will applaud the author because by the end of it—

I was so repulsed by the insipidness of most the core cast (and the unwarranted arrogance of their ringleader that none of them can stand up to) that I got an immense amount of satisfaction in watching all the surviving players go on to find themselves living utterly miserable lives trapped by walls of their own guilt and regret, each brick by their own stupid ass actions.

Hence my comparison to getting drunk off alcohol I hate. God knows I could have stopped reading at any time. I have literally no one to blame for my suffering except myself.

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norahastuff · 10 months

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Nine (9) people you'd like to know better

Thanks to @crackers4jenn for tagging me :)

Last Song: I Am Easy To Find by The National. There’s just something about the lyrics that hits something in me, and I always put it on when I’m in a certain kind of mood.

“There's a million little battles that I'm never gonna win anyway/ I'm still waiting for you every night with ticker tape, ticker tape.”

I mean, come on!

Currently Watching: Well, I was rewatching Succession, but I just moved back home after I graduated (gonna be here at my parents’ place for at least a couple months till I start working) and my little sister, who is very into Supernatural (I suppose I should accept part of the blame for that) wanted to pick up where we left off, so we’ve been watching that. Just finished s14 which is one of my all-time favourite seasons, and I actually found I liked it even better on a rewatch. Honestly, it’s just such a well structured and enjoyable season, and everyone’s arc is handled pretty well. Well, apart from one really annoying storyline, but I tend to ignore it as much as is possible. Also Cas is fucking great in this season. As is Rowena.

Currently Reading: The Secret History by Donna Tartt. I know, I know, I’m very late to the game on this one, but somehow I never got around to reading it before. Also re-read ‘How Many Miles to Babylon?’ by Jennifer Johnston a few days ago and that book always fucking kills me no matter how many times I read it.

Current Obsession: Uh, well, boring answer, but my hair, I guess? More specifically, dying it blonde. I have very thick, curly dark hair, and a couple of months ago I got it into my head that I wanted to go blonde. I went to the hairdresser who told me they wouldn’t be able to do it, and no one could get my hair blonde. Well, my dumbass took that as a challenge and decided to do it myself. It’s definitely been a process, but I think I’ve done a pretty decent job all things considered. Well, I managed not to burn all the hair off my head at least, so I’m considering that a win.

Anyone else who wants to do this, please do and tag me! Would love to learn more about you guys.

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 2 years

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Title: The Secret History

Author: Donna Tartt

Rating: 1/5 stars

This is a book about an unsympathetic and ultimately pointless gang of privileged young men who repeatedly destroy other men and take drugs. There are no redeeming qualities to any of them -- the book would be worse if there were some redeeming quality, though this one is not an absence. A few of them try to murder other men, and these are the only human qualities shown.

I have seen this movie, which I think is a comedy -- you have the usual unsympathetic young-people-get-more-and-more-nasty thing except that they are doing it to their victims. It seems like it was made by people with the idea "young people destroying each other, this is so hilarious that we have to make a comedy out of it" and I can't blame them for wanting to make a funny movie from this story. But the book seems to want to be much more tragic than the film, so that when the story does have these funny interludes, the book is in for a cruel shock. This is because the novel doesn't have the ability to be a comedy without the constant expectation that its characters are going to be funny. If the events in the book were funny, that would not matter much, the book would then have the same comic value as the movie. However, because the events are boring, the book is constantly in the position of having to have its cake and eat it, to have a comedic scene where the characters are funny that then isn't funny, to have characters who are not funny but must remain in the novel because it does not seem possible for the story to be funny and not have these characters.

It's especially frustrating because it can't have all the characters be sympathetic without being boring. I'm not sure I could stomach a book where the first section of each chapter was just a long scene of sympathetic character interactions, then the book switches gears and the characters start destroying each other. If the book has to have these sections at all, then it has to be more than a single character in one of them. This is an unfortunate consequence of having a lot of unsympathetic young men, all of whom are likeable and have many scenes where they interact.

The characters are mostly attractive white rich people. The book has a lot of the same sort of thing that annoyed me about The Social Network: it's as though everyone involved in the book is very good at writing dialogue but none of them are very good at actually being men or being young. There are a lot of good sentences but they do not make good characters. They talk about their jobs and about what they've read, and so it's difficult to relate to them, to find the sort of bond you would want to have with a young man because (if there is such a bond) it feels like the author has tried to fill the book with these scenes but has not really succeeded. I can understand why the "people doing these things have to be good at them" idea wouldn't work if the book were simply, say, about wealthy college kids -- these aren't very fun, but there's the sense of them being a bunch of rich kids playing out their own lives that a novel could really get to, one where at least the author could actually be funny and not have to work very hard to be funny.

The book is also frustrating because the characters are all so rich and successful and privileged that there seems to be no way the story could end well for any of them -- I kept waiting for any of them to have what amounted to a "coming-of-age" arc, but instead I watched several of them die tragically young. I can't blame the author for this, as it's just not in the cards that way to have someone die of an unimportant disease and then go through an interesting character arc. The story just wants there to be tragedy, but the tragedy is not well done. The book's central premise is that an event where lots of people are involved is inevitably going to cause some tragedy, and the author's way of going about it is to write a lot about each of the participants in the event. This makes for a very long book. And the way it plays out, the people involved all seem to have their own internal and external conflicts, which means they have to be kept in the story long enough for all the bad things to happen to them, which means they are in the story too long and have to be too boring.

Tartt's reputation as an interesting prose stylist does not in the end save this book. I enjoyed several scenes that were written in the kind of prose Tartt is known for, but Tartt never comes through with the sort of writing that works for her (one suspects it works well for her because she takes everything for granted and lets the things she's good at show). The book's prose tends to be very pedestrian, the characters speak in flat, awkward, over-the-top ways, the book has a habit of just having people say "I believe in myself and my own potential and can't wait to get started on this great future I imagine I will have." There are a lot of "I am the cool guy and it is an interesting experience to be this cool guy in this cool way" moments, and this isn't very interesting to me -- the book's supposed to be about these people being boring and self-obsessed, so why not have them have the characters they talk about being themselves? The cool guy talking about his coolness is not an interesting character.

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doga-a-god · 2 years

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Academia Aesthetics Aren't Toxic

i don't understand why people think academia aesthetics are toxic. sure, they mostly prioritize eurocentric studies but that's just what we've seen so far??

the aesthetic itself was inspired by Donna Tartt's The Secret History, which takes place in New England. now, Donna Tartt is judged a lot for being racist (especially in The Goldfinch) therefore maybe the aesthetic is misjudged because of its inspiration. But people say that it doesn't represent other cultures. that's true. it was created and initially used by white people who went (or wanted to go) to prestigious colleges that THEY knew of, which are obviously either in the US or europe. other cultures -or rather, WE liked the aesthetic (because hello??? it's so pretty) and started using it. after a while, we wanted to see some diversity: students of other ethnicities, architecture from all over the world, art and literature from all over the world.

the thing is, other than actual racist people who like this aesthetic, the aesthetic itself is not racist. everyone is free to post pictures or traits or documents that they think belong to the dark academia aesthetic. it isn't supposed to be liked by everyone, nothing is. even if it's not something the world is used to seeing, think of it like fashion trends: you may hate it at one point and love it at another.

sure we've never seen a taixue as part of the academia aesthetics but no one is stopping us. all we need is some filters. that's it. if you have a nice and old piece of architecture, which is preferably a school, in your country you can very well help the aesthetic become more diverse. but PLEASE don't blame all white people for being racist just because they didn't put other cultures in the aesthetic, when you would most likely get mad for appropriating your culture if they did.

just to be clear, i'm in no way saying that racism doesn't exist or that we shouldn't fight it or that other cultures aren't seen as inferior. also, it's important to know the controversial aspects of what you enjoy and to educate people for it. what i'm saying is instead of making people feel bad for using an aesthetic for fun (which, again, if was based on your culture you'd be mad) in the name of fighting racism, use your creativity and help the aesthetic become diverse.

#dark academia #academia #light academia #chaotic academia #aestetic #academia aesthetic #i would love to see bipoc inclusive dark academia #but it's not something to be mad about #you can literally create bipoc inclusive academia posts #surely there will be people who say #bipoc don't fit in this aesthetic #but then again #those people also don't think bipoc fits in the world #so yeah there's that #please let us enjoy our university fantasies in peace

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bookreviewcoffee · 5 months

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The Secret History Novel by Donna Tartt

From the very prologue, the author plunges us into a key event that served as a turning point in the main character's life. This very well sets the mood of the whole book, and as you read, the summary is already in your mind, so we gradually see how everything actually comes to him.

Very cleverly the author intertwines all acute social themes: alcohol and drug addiction, parental indifference or violence, rich people who are simply ashamed to go to work - the difference in the financial situation of estates; the theme of same-sex love, incest, psychological deviations, suicidal moments and the standard of love, betrayal, friendship, etc.

I still can't decide for myself exactly what was the point of no return for the guys, what exactly had such an impact, why things turned out this way. There is no one to blame: Henry or Julian - I have only two options. However, if you start reasoning, all their actions can be assessed and justified. A child of wealthy parents and an arrogant teacher (has ancient Greek driven everyone crazy?!). But all the events, the characters' choices, and their relationships add up to a final picture, which, it seems, cannot be put together in any other way.

I definitely enjoyed it, I can't take that away. Despite the sheer number of pages, there wasn't a single one that was boring or didn't bring any reader satisfaction. That said, I was a little disappointed. It's understandable that when a story is told by only one of the characters, one shouldn't dream of revealing the others as much as one would like, but still. There was just a little bit missing for me, except that even that drop felt a thousand times more meaningful than it should have. What was going on in the twins' lives, what Francis was missing, what Henry was really like. These questions kept swarming in my head and kept me from fully savoring what I had written.

It turned out to be a kind of "confession of a murderer". Although the protagonist did not forgive himself for deliberately taking the life of his comrade.

@arcanewraith @ancientsstudies @abernathyvalois @silverystardustt

#romantic academia #academia aesthetic #classic academia #light academia #chaotic academia #aesthetic #dead poets society #dark academia #writing #winter #the secret history #donna tartt #book review #books & libraries #books #classic

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cup-and-chaucer · 1 year

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My Month in Books: January 2023

I really struggled with reading this month. After nearly reaching 50 at the end of last year and coupled with a crazy work month, I haven’t felt the most motivated to read or felt pressured by the internal numbers game. Which is something I never subscribed to until I realized that reading 50 books was a possibility for me. Seeing how much other people read does impact me more than I would like to think it does.

Still, I read three! And it was proof that I need to get back to the mindset that 2 books a month is a good goal to keep me in the habit, that reading a lot is not the same thing as reading well, and that our reading numbers fluctuate for all sorts of reasons.

Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies by Maddie Mortimer: First of all, this bitch is MY age and the sophistication of this story is so upsetting to me. Maps tells the story of Lia, a happily married mother of a young daughter, who is diagnosed with terminal cancer. The book flips back and forth between Lia’s present process of dying, Lia’s past being raised the daughter of an evangelical minister and her abusive first relationship, and the voice of her cancer. I so, so, so enjoyed this. The second quarter of this book was a little muddy but it really stuck the landing. The perspective she has on Matthew is so interesting and felt very real to me. From the outsider’s perspective, we can see that a teenager and a twenty-something should…like not be dating. The way that MM shows how being with someone with that sort of critical age difference impacts Lia’s relationship to herself, her self-worth and confidence, isolates her from her peer group, makes her lonely before any physical abuse has even occurred is really subtle. The implication that what abuse looks like can be different, can be subtle, can even be unintentional is so good here—Matthew gets with Lia, I think, initially less from a sense of power but rather from a profound immaturity without understanding the profound implications of a fifteen year old having sex with a twenty-one year old. The idea that she views this relationship as a romance, even after it’s violent conclusion and takes on some of the blame for the fact that Matthew abuses her, still, years later, I think is also really well-done. It’s a complicated dynamic and MM allows us to be immersed in an uncomfortable, unsafe, and unreconciled point of view. The twist at the end, the idea that we’ve been living inside a retelling of Wuthering Heights the whole time made me lose my mind, I will not lie to you. I get why people will not like this book the way I did. I think so much of my enjoyment has to do with the fact that I listened on audio and so the things that felt gimmicky in print and might have driven me crazy if I was reading a physical copy of the book. this book is flawed, certainly, and could have used with some grounding but!!! I still gave it 5 stars. (Recommended via Jen Campbell’s YouTube Channel)

The 13 Clocks by James Thurber: This was a perfect read for a snowy day!! I read this in two big gulps. It’s a delightfully dark children’s book about an evil Duke who keeps his niece, the beautiful Saralinda, captive in a cold castle. A prince, with the aid of a magical creature called a Golux, go on a mission to rescue her. It’s Jacobean and whimsical and dark. I think that if I had read this as a child I would have lost my mind and it would have altered my brain chemistry. It’s fun as an adult because the pattern of the language is so much fun to chew on but I literally cannot wait to read this to a kid. Neil Gaiman listed it as one of his favorite books and I have an interview with him about this book queued up and I can’t wait to hear more.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: I have finally read it! And I am in the camp that loved it lol. I think its use of perspective is brilliant, the characters and setting are so well-drawn. It is truly immersive. What I don’t see people talking enough about is how poundingly funny it is? People talk about adapting it into a film or show and it always sounds so serious and it’s like…this would literally be Derry Girls with murder. I do have two criticisms which is…I think the last third is quite bloated and loses focus. I also think that Charles’ descent and apparent control and jealousy over Camilla needed more set up….like, her and Henry’s relationship felt very complete even while it occurred off-screen and I had the impression that incest could be a twist early on but…I felt like it needed more flesh to it. But other than that, so so so so good. I do think it hits a little different if you went to a small New England liberal arts college…like there were parts that rang uncomfortably true about the culture of Hampden. And having lived in the area where it was set for many years…there’s a mythology to the region that DT plays on really well.

#my month in books #the secret history #donna tartt #maddie mortimer #maps of our spectacular bodies #james thurber #13 Clocks

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