#I HAVE TO PROCEED IT BUT MY BRAIN IS LAGGING | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yesloulou · 10 months

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Do u have any tips/tutorial how to make gifs so smooth if there's movement? Mine are always choppy and weird :(

Hi anon, ty for sending this ask. I'm sooo honored!! (and plz don't call your gifs choppy or weird i have a feeling they're very lovely 😌)

✨ Gif Tutorial: making movements in ur gifs as smooth as possible✨ (updated)

↳ aka: speed management in gif making

Remember to always source your content responsibly!! Process in this tutorial is simply what works best for me. Every creator has their own preferences and imo there is no right or wrong. We should always make content in the way we enjoy 🤍 Outline: 1. Remove duplicate frames 2. Repair missing frames 3. Speed management in Photoshop 4. Smoother slomo using Video Frame Interpolation

1. Remove duplicate frames

Obviously, if there're duplicate frames in a video, our gifs will end up with lil lags here and there (since some frames get more screen time than others). Although the dup frames are likely barely observable once compiled into gifs, imo this is what makes the difference between smooth and butter smooth. the two daniel gifs above (guy with big brown eyes, if ur not from our fandom 🤍) can hopefully showcase this difference**.

**technical explanation for this that you can totally skip: the persistence of human vision is approx. 0.1s, ie everything we see stay on our retina for this amount of time. since gifs refresh faster than this (eg. 0.04s on every frame for a 25 fps gif), we usually can't pinpoint exactly which frame is a duplicate just by looking at a gif. however. by definition, a duplicate frame will slow down a gif, by making it pause longer than it should. as a result, a movement during this lil chunk of time will move less pixels than your brain would've expected. and this is where we perceive the not-so-smoothness.

ok, now that we've established that we don't like duplicate frames -- I know it's common practice to handle this by looking for an optimal output frame rate to offset the dupes. to me this feels chancy. bc it's a process where you don't have control over exactly which frames to keep and not keep. Personally, I prefer making sure my videos are dupe free before everything else. (Again, this is just what works for me. Everybody has their own process and imo there is no right or wrong :)

To remove duplicate frames, the first thing I do with a clip is to play the first few seconds frame by frame to see which one of the following scenarios it falls into:

a. no duplicate frames ↳ best case scenario! congrats!! plz proceed directly to step 2 b. there is a duplicated frame once in a while ↳ This happens most often with (but not limited to) videos from social medias ↳ Reason behind this is frame rate conversion. For instance, instagram/tiktok has a default frame rate of 30 fps. However, many media sources (eg. no brakes, sharl's vlogs) produce at 25 fps. When these videos are uploaded, instagram/tiktok convert them from 25 to 30 fps by duplicating 1 frame every 5 frames, hence twitchiness in gifs when slowed down. ↳ Solution: in photoshop, go through the clip frame by frame, delete dupes manually (recommended) ↳ Alternative solution: use duplicate frames remover softwares (see next bullet point) c. almost every frame has duplicates ↳ This will almost always** be the case with screen record. ↳ What not to do: When there are many duplicates, we may be tempted to use photoshop's 'import 1 out of every n frames' function. this is not ideal bc, the dupes are rarely uniformly distributed. you could end up losing frames you don't want to lose (resulting in choppy gifs) or end up with dup frames still in the mix (resulting in laggy gifs) or, most likely: both. ↳ A better way: is to import all frames into photoshop, adjust the output frame rate to offset the dupes (here is a good tutorial on this) Pros: efficiency; yields decent results in most cases. Cons: again, in my experience this is a process where you don't have precise control over the frames. Therefore runs the same (albeit smaller) risks as the method above. It can also limit how much you can slow down a gif, and generally doesn't work well if the target frame rate (of the clip you're trying to gif) exceeds your computer's recording rate**. **More on this statement: when target rate is comfortably lower than recording rate (~ 55 fps for many), chances are most to all frames will be captured. It is therefore more tolerating towards skipping a unique frame from time to time. However, when target rate (i.e. anything 60 fps) nears or exceeds recording rate, you will be dealing with dup frames as well as missing ones. Using the method above can therefore subject you to the possibility of losing two unique frames in a row, making the gifs noticeably choppy. ↳ Solution: we always have the option to trim dupes by hand in photoshop. But in this case, it can be time consuming, even with keyboard shortcuts. as a result, here is where we can really use a: ↳ Dup remover software: google search 'dup frame remover software' will give you several options and tutorials (here a plug-in for after effects). i've heard good things about some of these but unfortunately can't give recommendations (they do cost money sooo i wrote my own)

Demonstration:

This is a frame-by-frame animation of an ad Charles did for apm. It was produced at 25 fps & uploaded to socmed where the default is 30 fps. You can see that: i. With screen recording, every frame has an unpredictable amount of duplicates. ii. Original clip from instagram has 1 dup frame every 5 frames. iii. After deduplication, the movement becomes lag free and continuous.

2. Repair missing frames

At this point, our video clip is (hopefully) free of duplicate frames, which makes our gifs lag-free (yayy!!). At the same time, we don't want choppiness in our gifs either. Choppiness in a gif is usually caused by missing key (unique) frames. To check if there is any, replay the clip, look out for the sudden jumps/fast forwards in movements. Three possible scenarios:

a. no missing frames ↳ best case scenario! congrats!! plz proceed directly to step 3 b. a lot of missing frames ↳ This is usually the case if the target frame rate (of the clip you want to gif) exceeds the screen recording frame rate. ↳ Solution, imo: (surprise!) is to leave things be. Reason is that something like this would be quite tedious to fix, but not that noticeable if made into a gif that's fast enough ↳ Alternative solution: Record at 120 fps c. occasional missing frames If a video clip misses frames, but not a lot, chances are it's only gonna happen very occasionally, i.e. 1 or 2 occurrences in total. A frame-miss in this case is usually due to either the screen recording skipping a frame by mistake (in a 'slipping thru the cracks' sort of way)**, or that the original video misses frames/contains bad frames to begin with. **To my understanding, even if recording at a frame rate comfortably higher than target rate, something like this could still happen since a common denominator between the two rates will always exist. ↳ Solution (for screen recordings): record again, find missing frame (chances are it will be captured on a second try), insert frame back into original timeline in PS ↳ Solution (if video misses frames or contains bad frames to begin with): Let's talk about ✨ VFI ✨. VFI (Video Frame Interpolation) is the process of synthesizing in-between images from a given set of images. It can increase videos' frame rates (i.e. 30 fps to 60 fps), achieve smoother slomos, and by definition, also help with missing/bad frames. There are many software products that let you use VFI by simply dragging videos into the app and clicking 'export'. Afterwards, all we need to do is to find the missing frame generated by the app & insert it back into the original timeline in PS (ahh technology). For more info on VFI, see "4. Smoother slomo". ↳ Note that VFI processed footages will likely differ slightly from the originals in terms of colors & lightings. This may be tuned out using clipping masks (allow a group of adjustment layers to only apply to one frame/layer, keyboard shortcut: Command+Opt+G)

3. Speed Management in Photoshop (✨ updated ✨)

At this point, our clip is without dupe or missing frames (or at least as close as can be). Whether you dodged the first 2 steps like a breeze or freshly emerged victorious from photoshop covered in blood to get here, good news is, things will be very straightforward for this point on. congrats!!!

🎉🎊🎉

As mentioned before, in terms of smoothness, our clip is now in ideal shape. The important thing is to keep it this way throughout the rest of the process. My workflow looks something like this:

Open file, crop, resize, sharpen, color, export gif, reopen gif in photoshop (which won't compromise quality), assign frame delay, export finalized gif

If you're used to finding a comfortable frame delay or speed/duration combo at the beginning, this process might feel unnatural. But it's so so so so important to leave the speed related settings alone until right before exporting. Here's why:

By not converting frames with modified delays into timelines with fps, we avoid having to give our finished product a frame rate (which photoshop timelines have to specify). This is crucial bc, there is no such a thing as frame rates in gifs. According to the syntax of GIF89a (the current '.gif' format, screenshot below), gifs control their speeds through (and only through) how much time to wait in between frames, aka delay time. Our process above does exactly that. It compiles frames directly into gifs, and avoids expressing frame delays (a gif concept) through frame rates (a photoshop concept), a conversion where dupe frames and missing frames come from**. In other words, using frame delays to control speed is simply more natural to a gif's syntax. **Why would this conversion cause dupe frames? ↳ On paper, frame delays should translate into frame rates seamlessly (i.e. 1 second ÷ 0.06s per frame = 16.67 fps). In reality, photoshop does not support direct translations like this. When converting frame animations into timelines, PS defaults outputs to 30 fps, regardless of frame delays. This disagreement between frame rates is where dupe frames come from. ↳ Some examples: i. Consider a frame animation where frame delay = 0.04s (25 fps), to convert it into a timeline defaulted at 30 fps, 5 out of every 25 frames will be 'duplicated' by photoshop (30-25=5) ii. Now, consider a frame delay = 0.06s (16.67 fps roughly 17 fps), to convert it into a timeline defaulted at 30 fps, 13 out of every 17 frames will be 'duplicated' by photoshop (30-17=13) ↳ (the 'duplicated' was in quotes bc photoshop achieves this thru assigning a frame roughly twice it's original screen time instead of actually adding another) ↳ (afaik, currently there's no way of changing the default 30 fps as long as u start with frame animations. If anyone does know how please let me know 😳) **Why would this conversion cause missing frames? ↳ This happens when one tries to reverse the harm done by photoshop in prev step by changing the 30 fps frame rate back to what it's supposed to be (using function 'Set Timeline Frame Rate') ↳ Let's use the last example again. As mentioned, to go from 16.67 fps to 30 fps, 13 out of every 17 frames will receive roughly twice its original screen time (0.033s * 2 ≈ 0.07s). On the other hand, 4 out of every 17 frames' screen time will remain the same (0.03s). to go from 30 fps back to 16.67 fps, photoshop resamples frames from its 30 fps timeline in 0.06s intervals. As a result, any frame with screen time less than 0.06s runs the risk of 'slipping through the cracks', namely ones whose screen time remained 0.03s ↳ (gifs require frame delays to be rounded to the nearest hundredth of a second) ** What if I open the file as video object, instead of importing as frames? ↳ Indeed, when opening as video object (i.e. command+o instead of command+i), photoshop inherits its frame rate as is. We would then have the option to manipulate it's speed by right-click ➡️ adjusting the percentage (of how much to speed up or slow down). ↳ Here, if we slow down a gif without changing its frame rate, we risk introducing duplicate frames into the result (since frame rate is now higher than needed). If we slow down a gif and lowered the frame rate, but the math didn't check out, we also risk losing unique frames (frame rate not high enough). The same (opposite) goes for speeding things up. Therefore the best and easiest approach is, again, leaving speed related settings alone until right before exporting.

(the block of GIF89a syntax responsible for graphic control:)

Ok in hindsight this probably isn't exactly like. the most straightforward thing ever but the execution part is very much so 😳 here goes:

1. Open file in PS via Command + O note the (25 fps) on bottom left

without changing speed, duration, or frame rate: 2. Trim ✂️ 3. Crop 4. Resize 5. Sharpen 6. Color

(Updated!!!) 6. Export gif, and then reopen it in Photoshop **Compare to the original method (timeline into smart object, smart object back into frames), the updated method has the following benefits: i. Avoid lowering gif quality by converting into smart objectsii. Reopening gif into frames and reassign frame delay saves time (bc less steps) and won't hurt the quality at all (bc no image processing required)

7. Assign Frame Delay (i usually go with original frame delay + 0.01s) 8. Export ✨

Tada!! Speed = managed!!

This ad actually came out last December where I was aware of like, maybe 5% of what's in this post. Here is what my original gif looks like. I'd say what we have rn is a big improvement :)

Now, imo there are situations where it simply makes more sense to start with frame animations (imported using command + i). For instance: when we need to remove duplicate frames by hand, when there is a missing frame/bad frame that needs to be repaired, etc. My workflow would then look like this:

1. Command + i 2. (do things to frames) 3. Set frame delay to 0.03s 4. Convert to video timeline 5. (the rest will look exactly like the workflow above)

This works bc when frame delay is set to 0.03s, photoshop will treat your video timeline as a "natural" 30 fps timeline and leave your frames alone. Therefore maintaining its uniform speed.

4. Smoother Slomo using Video Frame Interpolation

As mentioned above, VFI (Video Frame Interpolation) is the process of synthesizing in-between images from a given set of images. It can increase videos' frame rates (i.e. 30 fps to 60 fps), hence smoother slomos. There are many software products that let you use VFI by simply dragging videos into the app and clicking 'export'. I've had very good experiences with Topaz and After Effects.

Let's talk about After Effects first. If you have Photoshop, chances are you have AE as well. To use AE's Keyframe Interpolation:

i. Import ii. Set speed to half iii. Click square twice until you see lil arrow iv. Export

Topaz is a production grade video enhancing software. It's capable of enhancing frame rates (i.e. 30 fps to 60 fps), increasing resolutions (i.e. 540p to 4K/2160p) and more. Unlike AE who uses only the two neighboring key frames to generate an in-between frame, Topaz takes the whole sequence into account, hence better reliability. It's also more user friendly than AE imo.

Here is a before-and-after interpolation using Topaz.

That's all 🎉🎉🎉

To sum up: remove dupe frames (if any), repair missing frames (if any), use and only use frame delay to control speed, and software enhance frame rate if needed.

This post got way longer and more technical than I had planned and I honestly have no idea where all this stuff came from lol. But it was really fun and I hope you'll find it helpful. Feel free to message me if you have any questions. Have fun moving-picture making!!

#f1edit #gif tutorial #asks #*#my gif tutorials #photoshop #dailyresources #allresources #completeresources #this was. 3k words?????? what?????

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ome-magical-ramblings · 1 year

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7 Weeks of Arbatel/Olypmic spirits work

me and my partner finished 7 weeks of working with Arbatel and not ego-boasting or anything, but I just wanted this post to be a congratulatory post for him. For his continuous support and work, I am thankful. The method we used was using Mark Stavish's method of dream incubation which merged Tibetan Dream yoga's technique with the position of Da'ath in Pat Zalewski's Kabbalah of the Golden Dawn attributed to medulla oblongata, there's enough to piece out the actual method but without copying and pasting stavish's method verbatim. I would say it is primarily visualizing the symbol on the energy center slightly above your throat. Why? it's more visionary and "less" control when you focus on the brain stem and there's more control when you're doing it in the throat chakra/center. That's one of the finding I had from it In regard to how to start, how to plan it, what to do, why, etc. I recommend contacting the current rulers of "time" of the Arbatel. Ophiel and ask him how to proceed and what time to stay, etc. You will have to contact him and piece out the proper timing and when to start it, the order to start with, etc. One of my worries was in Aphorism 21, which said But thou shalt not detain the Spirit above a full hour, unless he be familiarly addicted unto thee. Which I discussed with @ditchdwellersupreme on a discord server to figure out, the suggested solution was asking a spirit for a suitable method. Other than that? I was reading Soror ZSD23's book which she worked with Rufus Opus using Stavish's method to incubate dream so I decided to have a good ahead and use the original technique. I conducted a cycle of this work before using the original alchemical/planetary symbol of planets. To have a good comparison between dream incubation using the planetary symbol and using the symbol associated with Olympic spirits. In my Original planetary dream incubation I spent 2 and half-ish months purifying myself before starting the dream work from earth to fire followed by a week break and then starting with moon to Saturn. So without further wait here's my findings: 1) Starting with Phul, My partner who wasn't with me in my first cycle dealt a lot with theme "purification" and cleansing. I also dealt with cleansing on a level. There certainly was some physical reactions in the body. 2) Without going into too much details. The normal planetary symbols tend to be raw power of the planets, you're not dealing with planetary intelligence to modulate and take care of the problems that arise. With Olympic spirits, there's more care and control in the whole situation, the spirits won't push you or throw you into something that you can't handle in that sense. 3) Going into Och, some dreams were getting pretty instructional and have a general point or message being sent across. 4) The Dreams while sometime aren't intentionally related to the Olympic spirit of the week tend to have a background task/activity, in a sense stuff arranges in the background while you're busy with the dream itself. 5) Throughout the whole process we contacted the spirits and made sure to be up to date in case we need to focus on something. 6) The worst aspect of this work, is that dreaming take the majority of your sleep and your sleep quality start getting affected by it. That's the biggest downside, at least it is without a tool and it's very accessible to people! 7) There's a general lag with results or how stuff turn out, the spirit you work with this week might show results in 1-3 weeks after your dreamwork with them. You can think of the dreamwork as setting up the lunar background for results to come forth. Overall I am pretty happy with the work as a whole and found great benefit out of it. Better than the original method of Stavish, since you have an intelligence/spirit guiding you through the process instead of being thrown into these forces without a guide. I am grateful and honored to work with these spirits, my sincerest thanks goes to them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Olympic spirits. :)

#Arbatel #Olympic #Spirits #Magick #Planetary Magic #Ritual #Dream Work #Stavish #Planetary #Magic #Dream #Grimoire

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astolfofo · 2 years

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ABOUT THIS BLOG

This blog is a yandere blog. That means it will contain serveral things that may be considered disturbing. These include (but are not limited to): manipulation, psycological abuse, physical abuse, drugging, and mentions of death, murder, blood, and suicide. Violence is a frequent reoccuring subject on this blog, so please be warned. Additionally, I may write about disturbing sexual themes such as non-con and dub-con. However, I don’t usually write smut, so it’s very rare these things will be mentioned.

Please, please, please read the warnings on writing before you read it. It’s not my responsibility to pander to you as an invidual when I write. I am in no way accountable for any discomfort you experience while reading stuff I did. This applies to other inviduals as well.

Also I’m sorry if I take a long time to respond to asks, I tend to want my responses to be really well-written before responding, my brain is lagging like a windows xp.

DNI

Honestly, I’m pretty open with anyone looking/interacting with me as long as you’re civil. However, DNI if you’re one of the following:

A minor

Blank blog

Against technology/science. In the sense that you don’t trust it, and proceed to make false claims/believe false claims without doing research and educating yourself first.

Morality police

A narcissist

Someone with extreme political views. (extreme right or left wing)

If you’re geninuely racist, homophoic, ableist... etc.

If you are against aging up characters

Can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality

If you treat fictional characters like real people. Seriously, you're entitled. Sit back down.

Sensitive to any of the above mentioned topics

WHAT I DO NOT WRITE

I won’t write anything that makes me uncomfortable, or that I believe is out of my capicity to write.

A breif rundown includes things like: Real-Life people, Yandere!Reader, Characters that are underage/have a child’s body (if they are not actually children, I’m fine with that, still though.. I’m not a huge fan of it. However, if they are, strictly platonic.), and in general.. anything I deem gross or too traumatizing to imagine.

I’ll keep adding to this as I go, so this isn’t a final list.

DO NOT COPY/REPOST MY WORK WITHOUT PERMISSION OR CREDITS.

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t-lane-writes · 2 years

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Hello hello! You asked me to send you an ask for the Get To Know the Wip game, so here I am! I’d love to hear more about 👑 and 🐱 for Ananke!! Or another Wip if you prefer :)

From @mel-writes-with-her-dragons

Why, thank you for this ask! :) (u reblogged the meme from me, it's only fair, y'kno)

Oh, I am prepared to answer all kinds of questions for Ananke, ha!

👑 - Are there rulers? A government? Who calls all the shots?

Yes, there are. The world is governed by bureaucracy. The Antimatter Transfer Station is subject to the Bureau for Contacts with Aliens, however, the bureaucrats do not contact their subjects themselves - the Station Management is their liaison. There's also a more detailed hierarchy within the Station, but that's not what the question is about, so...

As for who calls the shots... Well... let this fragment explain:

Stella allowed Cora to link her with the Deputy. It was just like she’d expected.

“First my dinner is interrupted,” Ekundao growled, “because of some outrageous ideas you and your people have. Then I have to wait for you to link. What’s going on down there, Coordinator Zahira?”

“Didn’t your agent inform you?” Stella maintained her calm. “We have a crisis, I relied all the information we have, to a competent person on your staff.” She didn’t add that she believed Manager General, or Deputy Manager as it was, should be updated by that person, not her.

Ekundao snorted with irritation. He must have thought Stella was being impertinent, but couldn’t quite point it out to her. “Of course I was informed,” he said instead, jutting his chin. “Weren’t you informed that Eridan’s antimatter hasn’t yet been paid for?”

“Perhaps I haven’t mentioned that this crisis is of humanitarian nature. Half a million lives are at stake.” The unasked question was, do I have the order from the Management or from the Bureau to stand down? Of course none of them would give such order.

“Very well,” said Ekundao. “You want to save those people, the Management applauds your attitude. The Bureau will too, once they are briefed. They are sure to be watching all your moves very closely.” It was a veiled threat, if Stella ever heard any. And poorly veiled at that. Apparently Ekundao’s brain was still lagged from the interrupted dinner. Or maybe he didn’t think a mere Coordinator was worthy of any actual effort. She was his subordinate after all; it was her who had to be careful with what she said while talking to him. He narrowed his eyes at her. “Do you have a feasible plan of how you are going to proceed? Because my agent haven’t relied that detail to me.”

Of course he didn’t. Because she hadn’t.

“We are working on the plan as we speak. We also need more data to commence calculations. But I can assure you my whole department is on high alert and we are doing our best.”

“Meanwhile relocations are progressing as planned? We do not want to have anyone stranded.”

This was a silly a comment as they got. Rumors about people being left behind on the night side grew like the shrooms in the rain, the closer the relocation approached, but not one of them was ever confirmed. The relocation procedures were foolproof. But he had to say something.

“It is not going to happen,” Stella replied with fake patience.

“Glad to hear that, Coordinator Zahira. You have to understand, we must ensure the safety of our people, and our colony first. Its importance to the whole of humanity trumps the safety of one stringer. Keep me informed of all your steps,” he stressed before he disconnected the call.

Stella was furious. This conversation was a complete waste of time. Deputy Manager had the decision-making power over the entire Section of Antimatter Transfer. He could give the order to the Trap Supervisor to not redirect the antimatter to the Architecture, or tell the Architecture to not construct the Beam.

But he wouldn’t. No one from administration or bureaucracy were ever keen on actually making decisions that mattered. It was up to Stella. Then, if she succeeded it would be a success of the entire Aruna Station. If she failed, it would be her personal failure.

Great.

aaand...

🐱 - What are the animals like? Pets? Local fauna?

I totally neglected the pets! But there IS local fauna (and flora)... Let's see...

For six years, all Morgan could see when he called up the viewpoint of the outside on his wall, had been a barren desert, drenched in merciless sunlight. The monotony of the flat land, stretching up to the barely visible hills on the western horizon, had been broken by a few tall needles of the cacti, the only above-surface part of this extremely robust organism. A few beings on the planet were able to survive the long, excruciating day. The cacti had a unique capacity for gathering water through their massive root systems, that reached so far below the surface, they could find aquifers even during the hottest noon.

Other organisms were capable of containing water for longer periods. The thick leaved fungi were a form of a symbiont, that pulled moisture from the cacties’ expansive root systems. In exchange they provided a touch of shadow. In that shadow lived a number of smaller-yet creatures.

What baffled the botanists, was the fact that those stationary creatures were heterotrophs. Animals, by the standards of the biology of human homeworld.

Autotrophs – plants – lived almost exclusively in the narrow field that was lit by the setting Suria. This short period of time that preceded the winds and storms and deathly cold, was also the time for the cacti and fungi and their companions, to breed. In the near-horizontal sunrays, life now bloomed like crazy, enchanting with wealth of colors and shapes, only to disappear again in a few weeks, this time under a thick crust of ice.

Beside lower temperatures, water was also essential in bringing the planet’s life to blossom. First, several human months ago, some clouds begun to appear over the eastern horizon, on the scorching, pale violet sky. They stretched deeper and deeper, appeared and disappeared, more and more frequent, denser. Then the rains begun and brought on more rapid changes – so rapid in fact, that each day revealed something new.

First the fungi swelled then ruptured, releasing masses of small bug-like creatures that circled around, smashing into the cameras so much, that additional cleaning was necessary. Most of them landed on the moistened now ground and sunk into it. They vanished completely within a human day, twenty four hours. Then the cacti bloomed with bewildering colors. It was hard to say if those colorful appendices were, botanically speaking, flowers, but since they reminded people of things that were called that way in the encyclopedias from the homeworld – this is what they got called.

New organisms appeared, insect- or bird-like, myriads of them in many shapes, sizes, colors and activities. Some flew from one cacti flower to the next and, stained with its multicolored secretion, smeared it all over the ground, the other flowers and each other. Others ran around in the mud, fighting or mating, who could tell. All of them strange nomadic beings, that followed the setting sun in their eternal journey around the planet. They came from the east in their everlasting dance of life, and kept on going, slowly traversing to the west. Aruna was beautiful. And mostly left to her own devices, since humans only inhabited a chain of sealed cities along the equator. People only knew her daytime side – they were genomed to withstand warm temperatures, as even the sophisticated city systems weren’t able to entirely reduce the sweltering heat of Aruna’s long day. Surviving on the night side was considered impossible. When the terrain around the city, along with the stationary organisms would vanish under tens of meters of permafrost.

Any other asks? Anyone? Please? (I would mostly like to talk about Crystal Spring Valley, because I have to get back to it dammit...)

#ananke #writer ask game #ask games

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small-dev · 2 months

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Progress 2024.03.02

Yesterday I spent 2 hours 30 minutes working on my project.

Done:

I found out that my approach to decoding tile information for the Tiled map was not entirely correct, so I had to make improvements in my tile management code

I was thinking about filling my maps with tiles of various. I have been trying to understand how do I even proceed. Somehow I had a severe brain lag from this topic. In the end I have decided to create a small map based on the free "Power Station" tile set that I have downloaded earlier from CraftPix.

To do next:

Complete the first small map with the Power Station tiles

Add background for my map rendering. Right now I have no background; I only have black color empty as a void

Diagonal tiles

Code for climbing diagonal tiles

Background tiles

Overall putting together a map from premade tiles turned out to be slightly harder than I expected because I have to put effort into studying the tile set first, trying to understand where each tile belongs. This is sometimes not immediately obvious from just looking at the individual tile

#gamedev #fat

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hoonichi · 2 years

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first time making out with junkyu

a/n: hello loves! wanted to do bullet points for this one hehe, also this is not proofread and i am too tired to make a clean post (oh no), anyways junkyu has been on my mind too much these days so i wrote this 🧎‍♀️

—

you’re at junkyu’s apartment after his roommate left for vacation or whatever and he invited you for a movie date

which also kind of ended with you deciding to stay the night

you’re currently cuddled up on the couch, sharing the same blanket while junkyu’s hands play with yours

y’all are watching some cheesy romance movie when LOW AND BEHOLD a frisky risky scene comes up

now let’s start from the basics; you both have been dating for a few months and only ever did was simple kissing

like you never went past that stage of not simple kissing (brain lag, i mean like full on make out)

and you’re awfully inexperienced !! and don’t know how to add more spice into your relationship while junkyu is scared of overstepping boundaries (i def see him being like that)

so you’re watching that scene where this main guy slams the woman against the wall and then proceeds to suck her neck like there’s no tomorrow

tbh you’re starting to feel things and suddenly you want exactly what’s going on in the movie to happen to you

so you take a glimpse at junkyu and he’s just munching on the popcorn

and for a second you’re like ?? is this worth it ??

and then anxiety hits you and you can’t focus on anything

bc you want to make out with junkyu,,,but how do you tell him,,,,,that

junkyu probably notices you moving around a lot and not being able to stay in one place so he kinda just looks at you

“is the movie boring? i can put on something else if you want”

“no, it’s not that” your voice comes out in like tiny

surprise !!! junkyu is persistent so he will ask you over and over again what’s wrong until you cave in

tbh you just decide to be straightforward with it bc you have nothing else to lose anyways so you’re like “i wanna make out with you” while staring him dead in the eyes

lemme tell you,,,,mans got the green light and immediately went for it

in seconds you’re on top of him, straddling his lap, while junkyu’s hands rest on your hips and this new position is making you have heart palpitations

surprise again! you don’t know how things work irl apart from reading your smut books all the time when you were young so like,,,,does that work irl too?? (this is toTally not true, very fake, never happened in my life)

“just calm down and kiss me like you normally do” junkyu says bc he def knows your hands are getting clammy by this point

so you lean in and everything’s good and nice until it isn’t

bc junkyu licks and then gently bites your bottom lip, which makes you inaudibly gasp and then his tongue easily slips inside

and then he’s got all of you under his control

it starts off slow and you’re glad bc it makes you get used to it

and it happens quick !! it’s not long until you remove your hands from his shoulder and run your fingers through his hair instead

junkyu gets more rougher by time too

once you’re both gradually getting out of breath, he moves his lips to nibble at your earlobe, then down your neck

leaving small kisses and bites and such AHHHH

and now you’re on cloud 9 !! your head is spinning and you feel so damn good and out of breath

“i have wanted to kiss you like this all day” junkyu smiles once he breaks apart from you once more and rests his forehead against yours

now this could go two ways; your make out session progresses to something more,,,

OR someone giggles breaking the hot atmosphere you both made and you go back to cuddling

y’all,,,junkyu is a wild card im telling you

#treasure #treasure junkyu #kim junkyu #junkyu scenarios #treasure scenarios #treasure kim junkyu #junkyu smut #treasure smut

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aquarianlights · 2 years

Text

Uhm. AITA? 😳

I think I'm accidentally TA. 😭

I went to Dunkin Donuts to get iced coffee & when I ordered, I specifically said, "iced mocha"; no more, no less.

I don't normally order at Dunkin. I'm almost always at Starbucks or local/chain places in New Orleans. To me, when you say "ICED mocha", that means coffee. The "iced" part denotes that it is coffee.

The person taking my order FREAKED out on me and I was, like... in so much shock, I don't think I responded appropriately coz I was not thinking about what I was saying or how I was acting due to shock. 😳

This was the interaction:

Me: "Can I have a small iced mocha, please?"

Them: "Mocha what?"

Me: "(thinking they misheard me) A small iced mocha, please."

Them, now freaking out on me: "Mocha WHAT??? [Proceeds to list off 3 different mocha things, but they did so with such attitude and so quickly that I didn't understand anything but the word "mocha"]"

Me, shook: "Uhm..... an...iced mocha?" I actually laughed a little bit here because I didn't know what was happening and was shook by how hard they were coming for me. My laugh might have come off as mocking instead of the confused laughter it actually was.

Them, more angry: "Mocha...WHAT? [Now treating me like a 2 year old] Mocha is just a flavour. [Proceeds to list the 3 things again and this time I caught the word coffee]"

Me, finally understanding they don't understand I mean coffee: "Oh. A mocha coffee??? Iced???" My inflection at the end came off as kind of, uh... mocking in tone coz I was still shocked. I didn't mean it to come off that way, but it did. My tone was condescending, with a tip upwards in pitch at the end of each phrase and slight laughter at the end of each, too. I genuinely didn't mean it to come off as belittling and mocking; It was more my shock at the absurdity of this interaction and not knowing what to do or how to act, as everything was happening so fast. It just sort of...came out that way and even I was surprised to hear my own tone. 😬

They immediately said "youcanpullaround" so fast and low that it took me a minute before I actually did because my brain lagged in processing what they said lol.

I just sat there in my car at the speaker for a sec and went "...Oh. Thank you." when my brain loaded, then kind of laughed out of nervousness as I pulled around the corner with my non-driving hand in the "what just happened" position perched on my open window.

It was a different person at the window so that ended the interaction.

So uh........

Does "iced" not automatically denote coffee in places other than starbucks & major chains/local NOLA places? 🤐 I know mocha is just a flavour, but I can say "iced mocha" basically anywhere and they all know what I mean by that... This is the first time I've ever had a problem in my entire life. And I've lived in quite a few diff states. 😳

I didn't mean to come off as the asshole, but I think I did due to shock at the absurdity of the situation and not knowing how to respond in the moment during rapid-fire conversation. If I could do it again, I'd be so much nicer. 😵

So, tumblr...

AITA?

And what does "iced" mean to you when you're at a coffee place? What about specifically "iced mocha"? 👀 Dunkin workers, feel free to chime in!

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loustyleshtommo · 3 years

Text

My brain when having jet lag without traveling to different time zone:

TIME IS JUST A HUMAN CONSTRUCT AND I CARE NOT THAT IT EXISTS

Then proceed to run around like a headless chicken cuz I’m literally a human and human do what human do

But I do wish I could construct my whole world around you

#on-the-fly poem motherfooker

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pxjiminsi · 3 years

Text

Prettiest Smile

Chapter 2 from the Series : Before you go

Synopsis: Wanting to escape the unending criticism from your peers and parents about your life choices, you flew to L.A to figure out your life. On the same flight, you encounter an early debut, full of dreams, Bangtan Sonyeondan. Not knowing that that encounter will change your life forever.

Pairing: Jimin x reader, Taehyung x reader, Jin x OC, OT5 x reader platonic love

Fic Type: Slice of life au

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: slice of life, fluff, mild smut, and a healthy amount of angst

Warning: few cuss words

A/n: Hi! This will be my first BTS Au in tumblr, I’ll be also uploading my old works here! Friendly comments and criticism from my fellow writers and readers as I want to improve my writing further on. I hope you enjoy my series.

Updates are every week, or as fast as I can!!

“We have the whole house to ourselves for the week, so feel at home!” Soo Yun exclaimed as she threw you a water bottle from the kitchen, dehydrated from that 45-minute drive from LAX to her home. “We have so much to catch up on, how’re your parents? Thank God they let you go on this trip huh? How’s Jae? You’re already what? A year in a relationship?” Her questions were non-stop and as much as you missed her after so long, you’re not that excited to answer all those questions as the main reason you went to L.A is to get away from them and your life in Korea as far as possible.

“They’re all great.” holding a tight grip on your bag and with a smile on your face to avoid answering her bombarding question of how your life has gone downhill since you entered University. “I’m jet-lagged and I’d like to take a nap before we go out for lunch, can you show me where I'd stay?” “It’s upstairs, first door on your left! I’m going to take a shower, but call me if you need anything.” Soo Yun said as you disappeared carrying your luggage up the stairs. You plop in your bed sighing, finally realizing that you’re going to start your new life in this foreign country and no one’s going to help you but yourself. You doze off wondering when your life will begin.

“Y/n, y/n!” Soo Yun nudged until you half-opened your eyes “Your phone’s ringing non-stop! How can you sleep through that noise?” Still disoriented, you answer your phone “Hi please tell me you have my bag” You get confused if you’re still dreaming and wonder why someone is looking for their bag when you’re asleep the whole time. “Hello?? My group went back to the airport because I think we switched luggage. Mine’s in neon pink, please tell me you have it?” You almost fell out of bed and rushed to see the tag on your bag, “Kim Seokjin?” you whispered out of confusion. “Yes, that’s me, and you’re y/n, right? Can we meet to exchange luggage? We can meet somewhere public, I'm not a bad person, I promise I just need to get my stuff back” you can hear his desperation in his tone, but he snickered when he heard you groaning your brains to your pillow from your stupidity back in the airport.

“Yes, of course, I need my stuff back too. We can meet at Shake shack in Hollywood blvd. I’ll be there in 30 mins.” impulsively suggesting as you’ve been craving burgers since you saw shake shack on your way here and Soo Yun’s planning to get lunch anyway. Hearing this Kim Seokjin’s angelic voice, maybe it’s safe to meet him. “What will you be wearing?” he asked, but you bet he didn’t think his question through “I mean of course to recognize you, I didn't mean anything bad with that, I'm sorry” he panics. How cute. “I don’t think it matters because of our matching bright neon pink bags, we might go blind if we see each other” you sarcastically said, being equally embarrassed with your bright luggage. You heard his laugh and you immediately softened. “Okay, see you in 30 mins.”

You run to the bathroom to wash your puffy face from your 2-hour nap, put light make-up on, and brush your hair. “Wow, first day in L.A and I'm going to get kidnapped… by a man who loves neon pink” questioning his taste while putting on your oversized black denim jacket with your white crop top and high-waisted shorts. First of all, you didn’t have a say when your parents bought that luggage in a sale at the mall and that’s the only luggage you have big enough to bring almost all your life away from Korea. “Soo Yun, I’m ready, let's go.”

It's been 10 minutes since you and Soo Yun arrived at shake shack, almost wanting to switch restaurants for their unbelievably overpriced burgers and fries. You glance at your friend and she seems to not be bothered by it. Maybe after 5 years of being in the states, capitalism will take over you. Succumbing to your growling tummy, you order the cheapest burger and fries meal. You devour your fries like there is no tomorrow while you almost choke on your coke at the sight of Park Jimin entering the restaurant together with Jeongguk and their friend whom you’re not familiar with, dragging your bag.

Jeongguk saw you and pointed in your direction. Your heart almost dropped at the sight of Jimin, thinking that you had seen the last of him in that plane and you’d just see him reach his dreams on television. A huge smile appeared on his face when he saw you, almost sprinting to get to your table with Jeongguk behind him. “It’s only been a few hours you missed me that much huh?” He looks at you then proceeds to wave his hands to the roaming eyes of his friend. The fact that you’re happy to see him again was written all across your face, but you tried your best not to show it as it may stir feelings inside you and confuse Soo Yun. She’s already baffled at why you’re already friends with people, good-looking people you may add, you mismatched bags with. You gave her an I’ll explain it to you later look as she nodded bewildered and continued with her food.

“Jin-hyung, I found the culprit.” Pointing at you while seating at the empty seat in front. Seeing that you made this man who looks like an angel, by the way, struggle with your luggage made you feel sheepish. “Finally we meet. I'm sorry for the hassle I have caused you. I’m Kim Seokjin” He brushed his hair up while catching his breath. “No, I'm sorry, I should've paid attention that I took the wrong bag at the airport.” you try to avoid Jimin’s stare as you pull your luggage to your side switching with Jin’s “I’m y/n and my friend, Soo Yin” you both held your hands as he reached for them to shake.

“What’s in that bag anyway? It’s so heavy.” Jeongguk asked, taking a fry in your tray and popping it in his mouth. You falter at his question, uh my whole life in Korea is in that bag and I don’t intend on coming back if I can. “Just a lot of clothes.” You shrugged focusing on the cars passing by outside. Jimin sensed that Jeongguk’s question made you uncomfortable. “Let’s go now, everyone’s waiting in the car” he gets up as Jin and Jeongguk said and waved goodbye to you and Soo Yin. “Good luck with your training, I’ll make sure to watch your videos on the internet” Soo Yin stood up waving at Jin and Jeongguk looking so mesmerized by the two. They waved back for the last time before disappearing outside. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Jimin held his hand but you just nodded overlooking his help and signed at your friend that you’ll just be gone for a minute.

“I didn’t know I'd get the chance to see you again,” he said almost whispering. You’re not looking at him so you can’t tell, but you can hear the nervousness in his voice “Well, I think you knew we’d see each other again because you didn’t tell Jin that we knew each other and that I got his bag by mistake.” calling his bullshit as you take a peek seeing a smirk forming in his lips knowing he’s enjoying this. “Okay, okay” he held both of his hands up surrendering to you, slightly laughing. “But this feels like fate, don't you think so? I would very much like to have your number. I’d get it from your suitcase or Jin-hyung but it doesn’t feel very gentlemanly if I did that without your permission.” You look up to him this time. Giving you a glimpse of his sincerity and timidity you didn’t see before.

You debate to yourself whether to give in because it’s him. For the first time in a very long time, your heart fluttered again. You laughed again. You didn’t sleep tired from crying. For the first time, someone listened to you without pity. You felt like yourself again. He made all that happen in just a few hours. You began to ponder if you do believe in fate. Is this what fate feels like?

Thinking about all the possibilities, but you already had an answer in your mind.

“No, I have a boyfriend back home.” What you said is true, but why does your heart feel like it’s breaking. You see the way his face twitches, feeling guilty if he feels like you lead him on. “Oh, I didn’t know, I’m sorry.” sounding like a wounded puppy, you endure the temptation to pull him closer and hug him after hearing his tone. “I have to go, they’re waiting for me in the car.” For the first time, it’s him avoiding your eyes. He turned around and started to walk. You don’t say anything. You don’t have to, you just stare at his back wondering if you made the right decision. He stopped walking and turned to meet your gaze “You know, your boyfriend is very lucky to have you. Please support us in the future” He smiles the prettiest of smiles, then he’s gone.

#Before you go #jimin imagine #JIMIN SMUT #jimin angst #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #Kim Taehyung #Jeon Jungkook #BTS #Namjoon #Seokjin #Yoongi #Hoseok #Jimin #Taehyung #bts imagines

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spacepaprika · 4 years

Note

1 - Mammon

1: Alleyway

You may be asking yourself, “How did you get to this point, that now you have demons chasing after you?”

Well, it’s Mammon’s fault. Another one of his hair-brained money schemes gone amuck. Actually? This has almost become routine for you both at this point. What you don’t understand is how you get yourself dragged into this ever time. It’s not because you like him, no way. As if!

Normally you both could outrun the demons, no sweat. But for some reason today you were a little out of it. You started lagging behind Mammon, trying to catch your breath.

“Oi, what’re ya doin’? You wanna be demon food, human?!” The man grabs your wrist and practically drags you around the corner, into an alleyway, and covers his hand over your mouth as you whimper. Tired as hell (haha see what I did there) and your wrist in pain, you both stand quiet and still, making sure you lost the demons.

“There, now ya can rest. Ya happy?” You nod to the demon and press your arm against his chest, trying to breath. The boy’s face turns a bright red, which he’s grateful you can’t see while you’re hunched over.

“H-hey! I know I just saved your life an’ all, but that doesn’t mean you get ‘ta just use The Great Mammon howeva’ ya want! I’m a powerful demon, an’ just cause ya got a pact with me, this ain’t how it’s supposed ‘ta work...”

As he goes on, your chest grows tighter, and you start to see spots. You knew something was off when you woke up, but you just HAD to go help Mammon... he wouldn’t stop begging you otherwise. You feel yourself slipping and collapse on the ground.

The blood that had rushed to Mammon’s face drained away now, as he crouched down and tilts your head up. “MC! Are ya okay? What’s wrong?!” He remembers how fragile humans are compared to demons, and all the stuff you both did today. “M-MC?” His voice wavers. “Ya ain’t gonna die, are ya..?” His mind flashes back to that fateful moment when you lay dying in his arms, and he grows scared. You were HIS human, you COULDN’T die, not on him, not again.

You pull yourself together a bit. “‘M fine, Mammon, just need to breathe. But it’s kinda hard to do that, when your so close...” The boy had yet to realize he was only inches away from your face. But the moment he did, he fell back, landing on his tush. “S-sorry, MC, I was just checkin’ up on ya.” He then proceeds to make some poor excuse about how Lucifer would feed him to Cerberus if he let anything happen to an exchange student. Mid-talk, you reach over and pull him to you, kissing him.

When you break for air after a moment, he’s a blushing mess. “Wh-wha’ was THAT for, MC?!”

“That,” you say, panting for the breath that you never quiet fully recovered in the first place, “was for saving my life, ya big doof.”

#obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#lucifer #mammon is so stupid its adorable #mammon #mc #mammon x reader #number prompt #alleyway #trope

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msjr0119 · 5 years

Text

Forgive me

Part 3 - Somebody to you

A mini series, includes suicide and abuse.

Based on true events but using TRR characters who are owned by Pixelberry.

@annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog

*****

Liam, Maxwell and Bastien arrived back at the palace, early hours in the morning. A fusion of emotions were running through Liam’s mind being back home. One feeling he wasn’t feeling was happy, he wasn’t thrilled to be back to proceed with his royal duties. Although he was happy that Drake had managed somehow to convince Riley and Lucas to come to cordonia. After listening to her reiterate how badly his father had treat his family, he knew it must have been a difficult decision to consider.

Before meeting Riley and Lucas, Liam just accepted he was royalty and would have to follow the rules. Unlike Leo, he avoided relationships with nobles- needing to stick to royal protocols.

I used to be so tough

Never really gave enough

And then you caught my eye

Giving me the feeling of a lightning strike

“Are you okay Li?” Maxwell asked quietly, seeing Liam in a trance, staring vacantly at his screensaver.

“Sorry?”

“I asked if you was okay. You keep looking at the erm selfie.”

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just missing Lucas.”

“Just Lucas?” Maxwell winked, he knew that Liam had some feelings towards Riley. Before she dropped the bombshell they had all discussed how beautiful she was - Liam stealing glances from her, his eyes lighting up, sparkling the room.

“Yes, just Lucas. He’s my nephew. Of course I’m going to miss him. I would have done anything to have known him from the minute he was born.”

“How about Riley?”

“What about her? She’s my sister in law, the mother of my nephew. She doesn’t feel anything towards me.”

“But do you?” Maxwell saw a slight blush creep on to Liam’s face.

“I ... I ... Max I need to go. I need to have a quick sleep, then discuss some matters with my father.”

Look at me now, I'm falling

I can't even talk, still stuttering

******

Drake, Riley and Lucas boarded the plane. Luckily they managed to get a ticket for the last flight of the night, saving them looking like homeless people stranded at the airport. Looking at the photos of her, Liam and Lucas- she couldn’t get him out of her mind. The way he bonded with his nephew- but the way he looked at her. That kiss that meant nothing at the time, was constantly on her mind.

I've got your photograph

But baby I need more than that

I need to know your lips

Nothing ever mattered to me more than this

“What’s up?” Drake asked, seeing her staring down onto her phone. “It’s a nice picture of you three.”

“It sure is.” Drake noticed her face turn a shade of red.

“Are you going to elaborate on that kiss you both shared? We have a long flight.”

“Are you some type of weirdo?”

“Quit with the name calling, you’ve already called me a sulking arsehole. And you avoided my question.”

“Drake there’s nothing to elaborate on. It was a kiss. A kiss is a kiss. He was grieving, he didn’t know what he was doing.”

“Oh he knew what he was doing.”

“Wha- you’re wrong.”

“I’ve known him my whole life, he doesn’t get himself involved with women. Only those who are special.”

“I’m his sister in law. He doesn’t feel that way towards me. Besides we only met yesterday.”

“Was his sister in law. Or should I say fake sister in law. How do you feel towards him?”

“I... I... I’m going to get some sleep, like Lucas. The whole timezone difference will affect me.” Drake shook his head laughing, he knew there was more she wanted to say- she was in denial.

Look at me now, I'm falling

I can't even talk, still stuttering

*******

Bastien escorted Liam to Constantine’s study- noticing Liam clench his fists, he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Liam took a deep sigh, before walking into the room.

“Liam. I’m so glad you’re home safe. Did you have a good bachelor party? I hope you’re ready for the social season.”

“Father, I’m not having a social season. I don’t care what input you want in my life. But I’m not doing it. I will rule without a Queen.”

“No you will not! You are choosing a bride, a queen worthy for this country.”

“I have something to tell you. Leo has passed away. He took his own life after your impromptu visit to New York. I met Riley and Lucas- completely by fate.”

Bastien noticed the King was speechless for once, wondering if Constantine would feel any empathy towards his past actions.

“Why couldn’t you just allow him to be who he was? Why wouldn’t you allow him to have a traditional Cordonian marriage arrangement, which he and Riley decided to do between themselves. She is selfless and wanted your son to be happy.”

“Liam, I ... I ... couldn’t allow that. He was with a man.”

“So let’s put things into perspective. Say Leo was still the Crown Prince. And he married Riley but had an affair with one of the suitors- that would be acceptable? Or if he married Riley but she had an affair with me or someone like Lord Maxwell- that would be acceptable?”

“Yes. Those situations would be acceptable Liam. He was my son. He wasn’t that man that he thought he was.”

“Yes he was! I’ve seen pictures, I heard the stories. He was happy and you killed him. You have traumatised Riley, she walked in seeing his lifeless body. You have left his son without a father. His son who is adorable, he’s Leo’s double - he started walking yesterday when I spent time with him. Riley and Leo may have not loved each other the way you wanted them to, but they both loved Lucas and you tore that family apart. You said to Leo that he wasn’t your son. Well you are not my father anymore. Goodbye Constantine.”

“Liam, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise to me. Apologise to Riley and Lucas when they arrive. Sorry seems to be the hardest word for you to express- so I think it’s a little too late. They should be here anytime soon. Drake is escorting them here. And if you lay a finger on her again, you’ll be wishing you didn’t. I’m not bluffing. I’m not having a social season.”

******

“Hey, sleeping beauty. You need to wake up.” Drake nudged Riley, he was concerned as she was screaming Leo’s name in her sleep- he decided that he needed to mention it to Liam when they arrived at the palace. Lucas had woken up briefly during the flight- but Drake didn’t want to disturb her. Instead he played with the little boy and rocked him back to sleep.

Fluttering her eyes open, she apologised for falling asleep for the whole flight- they landed and quickly got through passport control.

“So when is the other stray arriving?”

“A few days time. Work commitments.” Drake nodded, and escorted them to the SUV waiting for them. Bastien greeted them before informing Drake that Liam knew.

“Beaumont. I swear he hasn’t got a brain. Is Liam okay with them coming and for the lie I told?”

“His highness is thrilled Drake. He spoke to his majesty a couple of hours ago- informed him about Leo, but also refused to do the social season.”

“Why would he do that?” Bastien looked over at Riley, strapping Lucas in the SUV. Realisation hit Drake like a ton of bricks- he knew Liam never wanted a social season, but he wondered if there was more to the reasoning now.

The ride to the palace was silent, Lucas had drifted back to sleep. Riley was taking in the scenery- it was breathtaking. All she was used to was skyscrapers and pollution, the rush of people on the streets. Cordonia was peaceful, clean, culturally influenced and beautiful. Arriving at the their destination, she noticed Drake’s previous vacant face expression change- the thin edge of a grin appeared. Trying to read why his expression towards her could switch instantly, she was lost in thought- paranoid to say the least. The door opened slowly- she was expecting it to be Bastien, until she saw his baby blues.

“Good morning.” Liam held his hand out towards her, hoping she would accept it. Assisting her out of the car, he couldn’t help but admire her beauty yet again.

“How are you so awake? I need some tips on how to cope with the jet lag.” Riley said as she stretched her limbs.

“Whiskey, or there’s other ways...” Drake interrupted, glancing towards Liam laughing. Liam’s eyes widened, he knew what techniques Drake was referring to. They were always successful with the commoner- but not with Liam. He liked to have a quick nap, then keep his mind busy.

“Other ways?” Riley asked innocently. Liam coughed, needing to change the subject immediately.

“Ignore him. We will take your belongings to my quarters for now. I actually want to talk to you if you’re not too tired.”

“Sure, I suppose I better try and stay awake-to get used to the new timezone.”

As they left, Drake got out his phone and text Maxwell. He wanted to berate him for telling Liam that Riley was coming but he also wanted to place a bet with him.

Hey, gob on legs- just arrived at the palace. Fancy a bet? The odds can be decided later on- no backing out.

Hey buddy, sorry about that. I was half asleep- I didn’t know what you had text. I assume it’ll be fine though. What bet? The Derby isn’t for a couple of days.

Not the derby. I bet you that Liam makes a move on Riley before the ball tonight.

You’re on. But I think I better pay up now.

******

Arriving in Liam’s quarters, he poured her a coffee. Sitting at the table, the living area was as big as her whole apartment.

“My father is aware that you are visiting. But don’t worry. I’ve sorted it out. He won’t hurt either of you. We have a planned ball tonight, I was hoping that you’d attend?”

“Thank you, but I think I’ll give it a miss. Besides you’ll need to mingle with all the suitors.”

“They will be there tonight, yes. But they aren’t suitors. I’m not having a social season.” Riley nearly chocked on the coffee, trying to compose herself- she didn’t know what to say. She knew that the social season was an imperative duty for royalty. Patting her back, she was grateful but also frustrated- every touch made her stomach flutter. “If you don’t want to attend I’m not going to force you. But I’d be thrilled if you would.”

“I don’t think balls are intended for one year olds. I don’t think I’d be fully awake anyway. And besides I haven’t got a babysitter.”

“We have a royal nanny. So that problem is sorted. How much sleep does a Princess require? It doesn’t start for ten hours.” He said sarcastically but also flirtatiously.

“Call me ‘Princess’ again, your highness and I may have to commit treason.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Wouldn’t I?” Raising her hand up, whilst winking she intended to pretend swiping him- his quick relaxes grabbed her arm, not in a forceful way- it was gentle.

“No...” Turning towards her and closer to her leaving little distance he whispered in her ear, she could feel his warm breath linger next to her ear. He knew she didn’t return the feelings that he had grown towards her instantly, but he couldn’t resist. Unable to fight against the thoughts that were going through him, the thoughts that were constantly on his mind. Her sweet scent, her smile, the way her baby blues sparkled, just her presence was flooding his senses now. Was it just lust? Or was there some meaning to his growing feelings.

Leaning his head closer to her neck, he softly kissed it- closing her eyes, her body was frozen. “Liam.” She barely whispered, it was more of a whimper. Hearing his name roll of her tongue, made him want her more than a friend - more than the fake sister in law. Pulling away he caressed her cheek, they fixated their gaze on each other. Looking deep into each other's baby blues - they were both filled with desire. Gently leaning towards each other- it was as if a magnet was pulling them closer, Riley made the first move kissing his lips as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to sit on his knees. Unable to contain themselves or their feelings anymore, the previous slow delicate kiss soon turned into a fiery and passionate one, his hands worked their way around her body, feeling each curve, wanting to explore more. No words communicated. Just the touches made them both feel alive. Breaking the kiss, they both heard Lucas wake- sorrow in both their eyes, they sighed before smiling at each other. Riley removed herself off Liam’s knee, to see to Lucas.

“Riley?”

“Yes? What’s the matter?” Holding Lucas, she looked at him concerned. Liam wanted to ask how she felt about the kiss. She gave the impression that the first kiss was a mistake. A second kiss and flirting wasn’t a mistake in his eyes- but he couldn’t bring himself to ask her.

“I was just going to say, that your room is Leo’s old room- or there’s a spare room next to Drake’s. I was also going to say that if you want to catch up on some sleep, I don’t mind taking Lucas for a while.”

“Leo’s room? It’s fine. I’m sure you’re busy, I’ll take him for a walk or something.” Riley wasn’t sure about staying in Leo’s room, she was having nightmares still after that tragic night.

“Yes its next door. I’m not busy, I’d be honoured to spend time with him. And to spend time with his mommy later on.”

“Possibly.” Liam’s lips turned upwards, she didn’t say yes, but she didn’t reject the offer. “Erm, I wanted to ask, did Leo have a special place here?”

“Why? I wouldn’t exactly say that there was any special places.” Riley pointed to her bag, gesturing Liam to open it. He felt as if his heart had stopped, once realising what or who was in her bag.

“It’s not all of him, but I thought maybe he would like a piece of him to be in both his homes.” Liam tried to keep his stoic expression, but he couldn’t contain his emotions. Seeing Lucas’s lip tremble, he wiped his tears away knowing he had to stay strong for both Riley and Lucas.

“I’ll take yours and Lucas’s belongings to Leo’s room. Have a rest, I’ll take him.”

“Thank you Liam.” Liam smiled at her, he wanted to be more than than just her child’s uncle- he wanted to be her protector, someone she could trust.

All I wanna be, yeah all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah- Is somebody to you.

*****

Liam left Riley in Leo’s room, acting strong deep down she was breaking down. She didn’t know if it was her imagination playing tricks on her, but she could smell his scent. Debating if she should move rooms, at least she would have Drake next to her for support. But Liam’s quarters were next door if she stayed in Leo’s room- Liam the man, the Crown Prince who had been constantly on her mind in this short amount of time. No matter how much she tried to remove him from her thoughts, he was unerasable.

*****

Walking through the palace grounds with Lucas in his arms, Liam thought he would take him to some sentimental places- a walk down memory lane.

“This Lucas, is where your daddy kissed his first girlfriend. Grandad Constantine wasn’t impressed. Daddy knew how to attract the women, possibly attract the men too. You’re going to be a heartbreaker when you’re older, just like he was. Keeping your Mommy on her toes.”

Ambling towards the maze, he sat down on the swing with Lucas in his lap. Slowly swinging the two of them- he felt content. Lucas began laughing at every swing- which filled Liam’s heart with joy. His thoughts remained on Leo, regretting that he didn’t make enough effort to keep in touch.

“When you’re able to run little man, Uncle Liam and Uncle Drake will teach you how to play maze tag....”

“But don’t cheat like your father did Lucas.” Drake interrupted, walking over to the two of them he knelt down and gave Lucas a high five.

“Where’s Riley?”

“She’s resting, she had bad jet lag.”

“Why didn’t you give her the jet lag cure?” Liam’s eyebrows raised up- believing that Drake should concentrate on his own non existent love life rather than meddle in his.

“We flirted. We kissed. She sat on my knee, I held her close. I wanted more Drake. I’m so confused.” Drake was eager to inform Maxwell that he had won the bet- but he knew Liam needed happiness as did Riley.

“Go and see her. If you want some alone time, let me know and I’ll take him to the stables to see the horses.”

*****

An ominous scream startled Riley out of her reoccurring nightmare; the pills, the empty bottle, the goodbye letter, her best friend - her fake husbands body hanging lifeless. The nightmare would still cling on to her mind for the remainder of her life- haunting her every time her eyes closed. Sitting up, her body was trembling surrounded in a cold sweat- her cheeks were damp, she didn’t know how many more tears her body could possibly shed.

The royal cotton bed sheets were twisted and trapped around her limbs, probably because she re-enacted her actions from that night in her sleep. The rushing to his body erratically attempting to loosen the homemade noose. Her heart pounded against her chest- she didn’t know how many more sleepless nights she could handle. It had been three months- and it wasn’t getting any easier. The sun shone through the blinds into the room, but she felt surrounded by darkness. Pulling the sheet over her head, she let out a terrified cry.

Liam opened the door, and witnessed Riley hiding under the sheets - he could hear her crying- his heart was breaking for her. Liam removed the sheet gently- seeing the mascara smudged over her face with the tears lingering. He wiped them away, shortly after he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, holding her protectively. She sunk into the warmth of his side, his touch made the room warmer somehow. Suddenly there was a cold breeze that past the two of them- but soon disappeared. Not taking any notice of the sudden breeze, the two of them watched Lucas play with his clip on buggy toys- he was hypnotised. Liam still holding Riley- he noticed her breathing return to normal, she was still gripping onto his shirt tightly.

“Dada.”

Riley’s eyes widened, she gulped. Liam just assumed it was coincidence, baby’s his age picked up little words as they were learning. Scrutinising the room, she saw a figure in the corner- arms folded, legs crossed, providing that infamous cheeky grin. Closing her eyes, she hoped once they opened that it was an hallucination. Slowly and hesitantly, opening them- the man she recognised was looking at her, then at Liam, then at Lucas before returning his gaze on her.

“Leo.” She whispered, still holding tightly on to Liam- still in denial. Liam pressed a soft tender kiss on her forehead- oblivious to where her gaze was focused. The figure bent down to kiss Lucas, before coming closer towards Riley and Liam. Carrying on blinking, she wanted to run out of the room. He bent down in front of them, she saw the line across his neck. Reaching out for her hand, she flinched at the coldness.

“I love you my best friend. I love Lucas. Look after him. Li will look after you both. Forgive me?”

Closing her eyes, she kept reminding herself that it was her imagination playing tricks on her. Opening her eyes he was gone. Liam had left her sat on the bed. Playing with Lucas, he felt a hand on his shoulder- looking behind him there was no one there. Returning playing with Lucas- there was a whisper in his ear.

“I’m so sorry little bro. Look after them both for me. I love you.”

#theroyalromance #choices trr #riley brooks #liam rhys #leo rhys #drakewalker #maxwell beaumont #trr constantine #trr bastien

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sian22redux · 5 years

Text

Field of Dreams

Here we go! No 2 in the fics I owe @nomadicpixel and @theycallmebecca. Nomad asked for Steve and a relationship that is new and my brain said how about a little enemies to lovers everyone? Not to worry it all works out in spectacularly happy fashion--but before that Y/N has a PR disaster to sort out and really, he’s a hard guy to forget, even if he is a little stubborn about Brooklyn. ^_^

Part 1 of 2. And obviously the tweets I’ve made and embedded here are not real, do not belong to any real account.

---------

“Y/N have you seen this?”

Your harried Media VP, Stephanie, uncharacteristically dressed in a rumpled suit and no make-up, barges into your office, trailed by your harried looking PA. It’s 7 am, mid-morning in LA, and you are jet-lagged; bleary eyed and something that passes for awake after two precious weeks at your New York research labs. They were heaven, but now it’s back to routine, back to the long days that keep Fleur in Bloomberg’s list of Ones to Watch.

“What is it?” you ask, setting your latte down and rising to your feet just as the pair screech to a halt just before your desk.

From the look of things ‘routine’ will not be today’s best adjective. Steph, a night-owl through and through, is never here this early. Her face is flushed and her eyes red as she waves a piece of paper covered with a screen print in your direction. “It’s a mess is what it is. And how you should respond I have no idea.”

No idea?

Steph can finagle her way out of PR jams that reduce grown men to tears. “Respond to what?” With a sense of doom you take the paper from her outstretched hand and quickly scan the contents.

‘Not shoot O’Malley twice? What the ever-loving hell?!

Steve Rogers—THE Steve Rogers—finally gets a twitter account and the first tweet he sends six months later trashes the Dodgers baseball team?!

Your Dodgers.

“Why is he @CapRogers?” you ask, more than a little stunned as Steph looks on.

Her face is pale and her fingers shake. No coffee yet this morning. Mary, your brilliantly practical PA, settles on priorities and quickly hands her a steaming cup. “Captain America was already taken.”

Of course. It’s his first ever tweet and the one he’s pinned and everyone has already followed him. No way any soul on Planet Earth has missed this missile. You scan a few of the 50,000 comments. They range from the politely encouraging <welcome Cap!> to the crassly supportive <F*ckin A!> to the downright militant <Get your own team pal>

Oh god. What a perfectly shitty time for this. Fleur’s new board are well pleased that its initial public offering has gone viral but are still a little wary. Six months of thirty-six hour days and you are secure beyond your wildest dreams: number 25 on Forbes’s Top Thirty under Thirty; lauded in all the trade reports for your business acumen; working hard to turn your chemistry degree to more ground-breaking organic lines.

It’s been tough but satisfying.

Buying the Los Angeles Dodgers has been your one gift to yourself.

It has not been without its bumps. A women in Major League Baseball’s old boys club has ruffled feathers amongst the owners and grey-haired stodgy boardrooms around the world. You’ve heard it all. The back-biting and the snide sideswipes. The outright misogyny. The threatened egos. What does she think she’s doing? What does she know about baseball? Who does she think she is?

Oddly, the one group that hasn’t groused about the change has been the Dodger’s staff. You’ve kept their pennant chasing front house crew. Let the manager and coaching staff stay undisturbed. Got to know the players and their families. You love them. And they are beginning to cautiously love you back. The team is your baby and while your instinct is to not let anyone give them stick, some battles aren’t worth taking on. Especially from a national icon.

“We didn’t move them, perhaps we don’t need to be too direct,” you point out, hopefully passing the paper back.

“No way,” Steph shakes her auburn head. “You are Fleur and Fleur is you. It’s too critical a time. Besides, if you don’t publically speak out the team might take it as a slight and the True Blue sure will. He’s too visible a figure. You’ll have to respond and support LA, show that you are in their corner.”

You groan. She has a point. TrueBlue are the diehard LA fans--a colourful and vocal lot—southern California through and through, and they are proud to have a woman owner. You owe it to them.

Well then. You smooth your skirt and sit back down again, flip up your Macbook lid, hurriedly type a few pithy lines. Steph comes around the back of your desk and scans them over your shoulder, bites her lip while reading. “You sure it’s what you want, the pointed ref…?” but you nod firmly. She said direct and this is that.

“Ok…”

There’s a satisfying whoosh as it flies out into the Twittersphere.

Two weeks and a lifetime in business later you pause to smooth down your red evening dress, set your shoulders back and stride forward into the barrage of cameras as you reach to shake the President’s outstretched hand.

It is her inaugural formal State Dinner. Like the rest of your homeland you are pleased and proud she chose Justin Trudeau of Canada to be the first. He is confident and always on point, a neighbour with an aligned agenda and you incline your head, almost as thrilled to meet him as her. The handshake is brief. He jokingly asks in French if you will have the Canadien’s hockey game up on your phone as it isn’t even Spring Training yet (he has read his briefing book), and you laugh, saying that Los Angeles is your home now. The Kings are King.

The resulting laughing group photos are snapped and Steph, you’re certain, will be wildly pleased.

After half an hour of polite chat with several CEO’s you know, a quiet gong sounds and you, like the other luminaries, search for your seating card along the white expanse of silver and china-decked dinner table.

Mme. Y/N Y/N is written in gold on elegant white card. Right next to a name that makes your stomach plummet through the floor.

Captain S. Rogers

Of course the White House has invited prominent expat Canadians. Of course it has invited Americans Justin would like to meet.

Oh god.

You reach for your water glass just as the gold lattice chair pulls out.

“Miss Y/N.”

A pair of inhumanely blue eyes wait for some acknowledgement and you nod, just a fraction, wondering how in the world you will navigate this. Was it a joke by the President’s Chief of Staff? Some kind of not so subtle message? Or, more worrying, a comment that your pointed retort was not officially appreciated?

“Captain.”

The medal-garnished superhuman in a dress Army uniform takes off his cap and sits down. Blushes faintly. Runs a hand through perfectly trimmed blond hair and awkwardly clears his throat, making a blandly positive comment about the weather and décor.

The flowers? Really? Who thought this was a good idea?

You do your best: asking after the Avengers’ latest escapade, the health of Agent Hawkeye who is known to have been banged up, the adjustment of his friend. You are CEO of a multinational beauty empire, formal events with strangers go with the turf, and so you are relieved to note the pleased surprise in Captain Rogers’ eyes. Not everyone supports James Barnes’ parole. You’d have thought that that will break the ice but as soon as the appetizer plates are whisked away he turns to his left and engages Canada’s Junior Minister for Defense in a discussion about NATO that lasts until dessert.

What the?

Beside you, the US Consel for Montreal looks suitably embarrassed, but there is nothing either of you can do. You pound back a few flutes of champagne and another quite good Whiskey Sour as the speeches arrive with coffee and dessert. By the time the music starts up and the room applauds Justin’s smooth waltz with the President you are ready to make an escape, get something out of this mildly disastrous night by pigeonholing the head of Lauder for a little competitors chat, when a fresh-faced aide with Maple Leaf pin taps your silk-clad shoulder.

“Madame..”

“-oiselle,” you correct automatically.

“Le Premier-Ministre serait honoré d'avoir une danse. »

Of course you will. You rise and follow the young man onto the dance floor, accept Justin’s outstretched hand and proceed spend a delightful ten minutes flirting with one of the handsomer and more chatty leaders in the world. Thank heaven. As the cameras click you banter back and forth, relieved you took so much time on your wardrobe. A sleek but stylish chignon. Marcasite studs. Louboutin heels and fall of red silk slashed to just above your knee. You look good. Tomorrow’s morning tweet of you both will likely get thousands of views you think, when a low voice comes off from your left.

“May I cut in?”

“Of course, Captain.” Justin bows and drops your hand and you are swept up into the arms of the last person you thought would dance.

“Captain Rogers?” My word his chest is broad. You take a deep breath and dare to look up into those eyes. They look a little pained but hopeful. “Are you---?”

“Apologizing. Yes.” He quickly nods his head. “Look, I’m new at this. Never tried the social media thing before and I kinda..forgot..about the bigger repercussions.”

“Evidently.” You take a breath, watching his brow furrow and quickly thinking of what to say. “You are of course entitled to your opinion but blanket statements of where things belong are unfair to the players today. As their owner I have a duty to support them.”

“I know. Look I didn’t mean to be hard on those guys.”

The blue eyes droop. He looks abashed and a little like a puppy taking an expected scolding and so you relent, search for something positive to say. “They’ll recover. If LA is good at anything is it definitely bouncing back, Captain.“

“Call me Steve.”

“Steve.” He’s nodding, looking a little more confident. As he leads you (surprisingly smoothly for one so big) around the floor you start to relax a little. Chat about dancing as a lost art. Admire the cut of his uniform and the straight line of his jaw. He is, if anything, more handsome up close and personal, although there is just the faintest twinge of anxiety still in his face. A Man of Out of Time. Yes..and still adjusting to the world he’s landed in.

Maybe you could be generous and try an olive branch.

“Brooklyn are still as famous today as they were then,” you say, squeezing the hand that holds onto yours. The other at your waist is warm. “The first team to break the colour barrier. Nine World Series titles. Cy Young pitchers and All Star MVPS. You can be proud of all that they did. ”

A sunshine smile warms his handsome face. “I am! Of course I am. Jeez, they were so much a part of our life Buck and I scrimped and saved every penny we could just to get into the nose-bleed seats. 75 cents was lunch for a week. If we couldn’t find it, we listened on the radio. Everyone did. Young and old, rich and poor. They played their games on Sundays so that working stiffs like me could go. It was the only day we had off: a ticket and beer money was a treat.”

You’re seriously starting to enjoy yourself, listening to him reminisce. This is a veritable soliloquay. “Ebbet’s might have been shaped like a bandbox but it was a right-handed slugger’s dream. McPhail was a genius. Ladies’ Days for ten cents. Half price if the temps’ got too high. I miss it so. Hot wood slats and popcorn and warm beer.”

“The best.” You grew up with baseball too. The crazy cement white elephant that was The Big O where the Expos played. Gary Carter and Bill "The Spaceman" Lee. Hot, steamy summer nights near Montreal’s broad lazy river.

But you’ve made the switch—LA are your boys now.

“Dodger stadium is baseball’s beautiful showplace now,” you explain. “We have tried to honour Brooklyn’s spirit—playing to win always and keeping the park accessible. There is even a pop-up museum to them.”

He stills and you fall just slightly behind the beat. “A pop-up museum?”

“Yes. It has old jerseys and ticket stubs and photos of the team. It will run until the fall.”

Steve looks far from impressed. “That’s all? Nothing permanent? No one’s set up a display to stay?”

You stiffen a little in his big hands, beginning to be a little frustrated. “We do own the trademark. There are statues to Jackie Robinson and "P. W." Reese where the Brooklyn Cyclones play today.”

He snorts derisively. “Heck that’s mnor league. And Coney Island. Doesn’t count. Ebbets Field and Flatbush were their heart and that’s all gone. They’re an ugly old apartment complex now.”

A frustrated silence falls. Some how you’ve fallen into it again and you can feel your ire rising. He isn’t the only fan who’s had a team be traded. Business is business. A team has to have support at the gate or it isn’t sustainable. Some, like Brooklyn, move to greener pastures. And some are forced to fold.

You stop on the edge of the dance floor and pull back, looking him squarely in the face. There’s a muscle jumping in his cheek and annoyance deepens the french flavour in your accent. American icon or no, you’ve had enough with his pity party.

“I miss the Expos just as much as you do Brooklyn. My team was traded, too. But I do try to be more balanced about reality. I don’t go round trashing the Nats or complaining that Washington has no memorial for them. At least your Dodgers kept their name!”

Steve blinks and a press camera clicks.

You both drop hands when the music ends and retreat--him to the bar, and you to ladies room.

Insufferable. Stubborn. (Gorgeous) Man.

You try to put the experience behind you, get on with work and cheering on your team, but of course the world conspires to interfere.

LA clinches their pennant run but the photo of you and Captain America looking daggers at each other tops the front page of every newspaper the next day.

#Field of Dreams #sian22redux #writes #Steve Rogers

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welcometotheshitshowyo · 5 years

Text

Today on My Life as a Clumsy Fuck AKA the Time I Almost Died on a Camping Trip

Hey guys, I'm baaaack! Today I'm going to amaze and entertain you with a harrowing tale of the time my clumsy ass almost died (multiple times) on a camping trip. So first things first, I'm clumsy. Like, bad. If it's on the floor, I trip over it. Even air. And believe me this will not be the last time you hear of my amazing clumsiness.

About a year ago, me and a couple friends decided we were going to take a five day camping trip to Cumberland Falls in Kentucky. If you've never been I highly recommend it, it's absolutely beautiful! So I get all packed and hit the road, planning to meet my other friends there. Now, a little info about those 2. They're very adventurous and they love to take the path less traveled. Like Bear Grylls without all the piss drinking. And don't get me wrong, I'm adventurous too. I love being outside in nature and exploring. So naturally I assumed I would have no problem keeping up with them. Well you know what the say about assuming. And I definitely made an ass out of me. Anyway, we all meet up in the parking lot and decide to just jump right into the adventuring. We immediately jump right into the dare devil shit. They walk over to this little rock cliff and find an opening that we could climb through. So they made their way up through the crevice and finally it was my turn. Now 2 things about me: 1) I'm 5'1" and 2) I have the joints of an 80 year old (thanks to the notorious Fibromyalgia or whatever the hell I have). So I'm looking up at this crevice, and I start getting bold. Like yeah I can do this, I ain't no bitch. And I reach up as far as I can, grab ahold of the rock, and proceed to swing my leg up. Well as I did this, my hip was pretty much like you done fucked up. And boy was it right. After I finally more or less dragged my body through the rocks, I stood up and almost fell over. My hip was throbbing and I was already ready to go sit by the fire and eat marshmallows. And this was only 5 minutes into the hike.

A few hours later, hip still hurting, the trip was going pretty well. There were some pretty great views and it was really nice out. We decided to take a dip in the river for awhile. All in all, things went well there too, except my friends got some parasites all over them 🦠 when we finally decided to keep moving, we soon came to another out cropping of rock that needed climbing. And of course, I get about 5 feet off the ground on this cliff and my foot slips. I fell right on my back. Luckily I was wearing a backpack (which also happened to have my expensive camera in it), so that kept me from smashing the back of my head on a rock. But it still hurt like a motherfucker. I laid on the ground for about 5 minutes just laughing my ass off because I'm so dumb. And that isn't even the worst of it.

So, keep in mind we've been hiking all day, about 5 or 6 hours over rough terrain and climbing up rocks. I'm tired, its hotter than satan's balls, and my body has already taken quite a beating. Well we finally made it back to a trail. I saw a sign that said we only had 1/2 a mile left. That put a tiny minuscule of pep back into my step. I was still lagging behind, which was fine with me. I was just so ready to make it back. This is where the fun really begins. Eventually we come across a decent size log laying across the path. It wouldn't have been a hard obstacle had I been able to control my body. Well I attempted to step over the log. And when I say attempted, I mean my brain said to stretch my leg up and over the log, but, like a bad game of telephone, my legs misread the message. I actually stepped directly onto the log. Which was covered in moss and very slippery. I lifted my other foot, and put all my wait on the other foot that was standing on the log, and it was at that moment I realize, I fucked up. My foot immediately slips off the log, and jams itself between the log and a large jagged rock. I fell. Hard. As I came crashing down, only one hand came up to catch myself. And guess where all my weight went? Yep! All on my right wrist. With a very audible POP. I immediately unjam my leg and plop my ass right down on the ground. I grab my wrist and immediately start yelling FUCK FUCK I THINK MY WRIST IS BROKEN. It had already started to swell and It HURT. Then I noticed that the leg that had been jammed between the rock and the log hurt a hell of a lot worse. I looked down and noticed a huge white spot where a chunk of my skin had been ripped off, and there was blood and scrapes all over. I don't get queasy when I'm around blood or see wounds. Ever. But I almost passed out. Because my friend looked at my leg and said "oh my god is that your bone??" He offered to carry me but, again, I ain't no bitch. So I slowly, and very painfully, got up. I proceeded to limp another half mile back to the entrance of the trail. I emerged from the woods like I had just escaped Michael Meyers. As we are walking up the stairs to get to the parking lot, we pass the Park Ranger. This motherfucker looks me dead in the eyes, looks at the state I'm in, and just turns around and walks away without a word. Like thanks, fuck you too buddy. Well luckily I had a first aid get in my car. I attempted to clean my leg as best I could, could antibacterial cream on it and wrapped it up. And then we drove down the road, hiked a few minutes up a hill, to find an okay spot to make camp. In the dark. I was literally so done with life, I crawled into the tent and tried to sleep. Which I couldn't because everytime I made the slightest move, it made my wrist and leg hurt. To make a long story longer, we ended up cutting the trip short, since this literally all happened in one day, took my ass to urgent care and went home. I had to have 2 xrays because they thought my shin was cracked and they thought my wrist was fractures. Turns out my wrist was just sprained and my shin and bone were only bruised. So....yeah. I mean you shouldn't be surpised. I'm a whole hot mess.

Well, the moral of this story is someone PLEASE WRAP ME IN BUBBLE WRAP AND KEEP ME INSIDE AT ALL TIMES BECAUSE I'M GOING TO DIE IN A STUPID WAY. And remember folks, it's not an adventure until you almost die!

Also, I'm going to attach some pictures below of Cumberland falls, our hike, and my injuries (WARNING: GRUESOME AND AWESOME). I'm pretty proud of my battle scar!

Until next time 😜

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omgshecodes · 5 years

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„Before you can swim, you need to learn how to dive.“

This piece of wisdom as told by my mentor @carlaelisafischer guided me through the day, and in the following passages you will understand what’s behind.

Today I wrote my last and most important exam: programming. Now I won’t sugarcoat anything but rather say it straight: I completely failed - but you know what? I am not afraid to admit that I did. No, let me even go beyond that. Meanwhile I learned not to be afraid of failure per se, and this exactly is what makes one powerful, invincible, persistent.

When I came in touch with CS in the beginning of last year, as every coding beginner I faced the question which programming language I should learn best, but more importantly what resources I should use. I found myself juggling between several programming languages as well as resources which is literally the worst you could do (who remembers my post on that?). Eventually I decided to settle for the programming language C and I came across this super amazing online course offered by @harvarduniversity called CS50.

I did this course at a very slow pace though since, back then, my son wasn’t in kindergarten yet so I didn’t have as much time as I do have now. So eventually I could acquire some basic knowledge but I didn’t make it to the depths.

Nonetheless, the little knowledge I had of C definitely helped me in starting out well with university where we’re being taught C++. However, only a few weeks in uni made me realize that a) we go at a super fast pace and b) programming was slowly but surely absorbed by all other classes - even in the truest sense of the word due to a overlap in my schedule which made me miss programming class every two weeks. Somewhere along the line I was lagging behind to the degree that I didn’t even make any effort to catch up because I was just busy with every other demanding class.

At this point I already allowed myself to go slower and change my game. While I started uni with the illusion to ace it within the standard period of study, now it was all about survival and merely fulfilling the minimum of requirements. Carla made me understand that university does not really pursue the goal to make you learn in-depth but to make you qualified/employable only. Hence, the real learning and studying should be taking place privately and auto-didactically.

So when I finished my second last exam last week I had 8 days left until today’s programming exam, but as I continued studying for that exam I realized that I was lacking in concentration a lot as I have been studying day and night for other exams since the passed 3 weeks. At some point your brain just shuts you know. That was why I allowed myself a mini vacation which ultimately left me with another 4 days to prepare for the exam and hence, make up for several months of programming, which was totally unrealistic already.

Given this background information, the only way I saw to pass the exam was to scheme a „puzzle algorithm“ which looked like me relying on printed code snippets and the script we were offered by university. If you have read my last post, we were allowed to bring anything with us to the exam, ranging from complete programs printed on paper over books to just anything you could imagine, except for electronic devices. But the materials I took with me only distracted me and my mind just could not get involved with the exam simply because I haven’t practiced in months.

The last 20 minutes of the exam were actually quite funny because there was me, having retired and starting to relax, while I heard my classmates hitting their keyboards like crazy in hopes to get this exam finished in time. I, for my share, was thinking about how I’m going to proceed from this failure, and this is where my lovely mentor Carla comes into the picture.

I can truly say that Carla is a light of guidance for me. When I reached out to her her right after the exam she was already ready to catch me, serving me with all of her wisdom.

I won’t go into detail as to all the things she said because our voice messages sometimes take up to an hour, but put in a nutshell:

She highlighted the fact that university does not set a system for me, but merely sets appointments where I am asked for a solution to a specific problem, so in a sense I gotta know what university wants know, but then it is completely up to me how I am going to achieve that. I should do it my own way, build my own battle plan in which I am the only person to determine which things happen when. Nothing should be chewed for me. You need your own system and own plan, and then you’re dangerous.

Thus, Carla advised me to let programming class be and act as if I am not enrolled in university. She recommended me to rely on and trust in my own learning ability because I need to become myself - by myself. She suggested that I should start out small (again) and take baby steps as I am in desperate need of learning achievements because this is how one learns best, because learning gotta be fun. Ultimately, she told me that I need to learn how to dive first in order to be able to swim, meaning I should dive in the depths of fundamentals, I should go under water as an inurement for defeat.

Right after our conversation I went to the city library and borrowed this gem right here which is an introduction to C. Ironically, the book’s cover shows some lemons and you know what they say: if life hands you lemons, make lemonade! :-) The plan is to work my way through the book without using any other resources such as university’s offered script or the internet and with the pre-installed terminal on my Mac plus a simple text editor instead of a bloated IDE, just after the motto back to the basics.

All I can say is that I am super motivated to start over with a new strategy and devour this book as my only resource. It feels good to keep it minimal for the sake of maintaining an overview - it lowers the pressure. And it feels good to rely on myself - which, again, does lower the pressure. And most importantly, I am happy I can take you guys with me as I grow. I mean, ‘omgshecodes’ was and still is my personal studygram, so let’s record both my defeats and achievements in oder to keep it real! Let’s do this! :-)

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