#How to reduce anxiety before public speaking? [STOP your public speaking panic RIGHT NOW]

[zemarune]

Diluc's past is slightly mentioned, if you don't want to read spoilers, then please don't proceed further.

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•° Diluc Fluff Alphabet°•

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

The fact that you accept him like he is. You accept that he needs his space and rarely shows any affection without complaining, even though he'd like to change that about himself, he can't help but feel happy that you don't judge him.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your/his body?)

Your eyes. He loves how he can read you through them, the very eyes he feels mesmerized with as soon as he'd look at them. He likes his hands the most. He knows he's good with them (not meant in any sexual way) because of him being a bartender at angel's share from time to time. He also knows that his touch has a great positive effect on you, so that's a plus for him. Diluc can also massage you with them too make you feel good.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

He's a secretive person and his PDA level is very low, so there won't be any cuddles if you're not home or in a safe haven alone. If you're home, then prepare to not be able to leave. He'll hold you close to him for as long as he can.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

A typical dinner date with only you two. He'll feel the most comfortable if it's in his home. He, personally, will see to set it up but the food will be made by the best cooks he can offer.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He hardly shows you any kind of emotions out in the open except for his love and admiration. He doesn't want you to worry about him or trouble you. But of course if you ask him about it, then he'll try to show you as much of himself and his emotions as possible.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

He'd also love to have a family with you, yet he's afraid of it as well. The world is dangerous and having lost his father, he fears that he won't be able to save you and or your kids too.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving?)

He'll buy you anything you want, there's nothing you won't get. If your gaze lingers on something for even a second, then Diluc will buy it immediately. He sees it as a normal way to treat the person he loves. Tell him to stop and the gift giving might be reduced.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Not in public. Most of the time, he won't show any affection to you if you're outside, as mentioned before. Depending on the situation, of course. If a certain cavalry captain is feeling more flirty than usual with you and oversteps his boundaries in Diluc's eyes, then he will grab your hand and send a destroying gaze to the blue haired male. Other than that, he'll show you tons of affection at your home to make up for the lack of contact earlier!

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

He'll panic. What if you'll die like his father? Will you leave him as well? He'll immediately bring you to the best healer in reach. Blames himself like back then. He's sure he could have protected you if only he would have paid more attention. You wouldn't be in pain then. Of course, if it's a rather minor wound, he'll still worry but not as much. Show him your love and tell him you won't leave, it may not seem like it but it will calm him down.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you?)

He may try to tell you a joke if the atmosphere between you two is very heavy. Otherwise he's serious, he doesn't prank anyone and there are rarely any jokes coming from him.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

In a private place, tender and sweet kisses on your lips or forehead. He's a soft guy, Diluc likes to kiss you on your lips, yet he'd only do so, if he has some time. He wants to make your kisses memorable. If he's busy, then he'll kiss your forehead, cheeks or even the back of your hand!

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

Through affectionate words at your home. The presents and physical contact may be nice, yet he believes that words are better, they do speak louder than actions after all.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

When you said yes to his confession. It is the most joyful moment in his life so far. He thought he'll never be happy but then you came along and brightened his world. You even love him back! What could be better?

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

Losing you to someone else or in general. Having lost his father before, he's scared of losing another beloved person. Knowing there are people who you could be happier with, who are more open about emotions, who can show and give you the love and affection you deserve makes him slightly insecure about himself.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

The fact that he owns and produces wine, yet doesn't like it and it's taste. It's actually quite hilarious if one thinks about it. On the other hand, it's also cute how flustered he gets when you ask him about it, because it confused you.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

His world. Before he met you, the world he saw and lived in, was filled with sinners and corruption. You cleansed his world, soul and heart. You make him enjoy being in the world he is in. There wouldn't be you in another one. You are his world. And he doesn't wish to leave it. Yet, he'll rarely call you that, it's rather more of a statement. Instead he'll call you darling or love but when you're silently sleeping in his embrace, in that moment you could hear him whisper that you're his everything. His world.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

At his or your home. When he's got some free time and you're available as well, then he'd absolutely love to spend the time with cuddles and a lot affection. Outside he doesn't show you any, so he has to repay you for your patience at home!

R = Romance (how romantic are they? Cliché or rather creative?)

A bit inexperienced but he tries his best to be as romantic as possible for you. Therefor he's more cliché. He'll try to come up with something to impress you though!

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He's pretty open but if a secret can be harmful to you, in his eyes, then he will not mention it. He'll lock it away, so you'll never have to face it. He also intended to keep his doings as the darknight hero a secret, the abyss order is after him and they could cause some trouble, which he wants to prevent from reaching you. Now, someone close to him still told you, may or may not have been on accident too. You'll never guess who let the words slip!

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

He's inexperienced. He didn't know what to say or do. He had to get the confidence and then some tips from a professional, in hope that Kaeya wouldn't joke around and make a fool out of Diluc. Luckily for Kaeya the advice to just confess worked, so he's safe from the red haired man's wrath.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He'll give you the time you need, however he'll be worried for you. He'll give you even more gifts than before in order to make you feel happy again. He'd do anything. After a bit, if you didn't speak to him already, then he will go to you. He misses you whenever you're not with him, even if you're just a door away.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He won't show you off. You're not an object and he refuses to treat you like one. Nonetheless, he's proud that you're his. He loves you and can't imagine someone more perfect than you.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

He'll always fight with or for you. However, that won't change the fact that he's just as worried for you as he'd be if you're hurt. He knows that he, most likely, will be busy with his own battle so he can't protect you as much as he wants to.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

He needs some time to adjust to the fact that you're his lover now and to all your reactions, physical as well as mental. In order to not hurt you with words or actions, he has to read you very well, so that's what he'll learn. And he will be able to read you after. He studied you and your behavior almost like Albedo with alchemy. Not in a scary way though!

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

As mentioned before, he tries his best to be romantic, so he'll choose a beautiful scenery as a perfect spot for a proposal. On Dragonspine's highest place for example. You can see almost everything from up there, and watching the sunset is just so mesmerizing! If that's not romantic, then Diluc doesn't know what else is!

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Knowing you're save. Even better if you're in his arms, but the knowledge is working too. He'll go insane not knowing if you're well or not. He'll be worried sick and his mind is running wild with possible worst case scenarios. Having you right with him or knowing you're well will ease his anxiety.

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#fluff #fluff alphabet #genshin impact #genshin x reader #diluc x y/n #diluc ragnvindr #genshin diluc #master diluc #we stan #must protect #cant change my mind

[speuradair]

Comfort | B.T.

Word Count: 1k

Contains: mild panic attack description

Requested: Anonymously 

“If its ok, could you maybe do a fic where byakuya has to help his s/o who’s having a panic attack? Ty!”

-

In your years of therapy, you’d always been told that routine was good for anxiety. It reduced unpredictability, provided structure, and kept things regulated. Yet the strict routine you found at Hope’s Peak did nothing but stoke your already overactive thoughts. 

You didn’t find any comfort in the daily structure of waking up, fearing for your life, then investigating the inevitable deaths of your classmates. Somehow, you couldn’t imagine this was what your counselor had in mind.  

Your lingering unease made you feel miles away as you stood in the cafeteria that morning. Voices filled the space as they did every morning, but you couldn’t decipher what they were saying. Your mind was far too saturated with tension and fear to absorb any of it, anyway. It was only just noticeable enough to be agitating. Their words mingled with the slight ringing in your ears to form an uncomfortable atmosphere around you. Slowly they seemed to be getting more and more angry though, only amplifying your discomfort. 

Fidgety fingers longed to reach out and intertwine with your lover’s as he stood beside you, but you thought better of it. He hardly responded well to public affection as it was, and taking into consideration his current vexed state, you feared he might snap at you. That was the last thing you needed right now- especially as Toko stood here scrutinizing your every move anyway. Instead you opted to shift your gaze onto him in a weak attempt to distract yourself. Byakuya stood beside you looking as well dressed as ever. Even in a killing game like this, he still managed to look put together. His lips moved rapidly, his expression seeming to tighten more and more with each word. What was he saying?

“I have the decency to share this hint with you, and you're still foolish enough to speak to me like that?! Unbelievable." 

"We don't need your help!" Aoi's hands curled into tight fists as she glared at him. 

The tension in the room was palpable and you couldn't stand it. Your chest tightened with each poisonous word spoken. Your stomach turned every passing second. If you wanted to get out of here without having a breakdown in front of everyone, you needed this meeting to end- fast. 

You were about to make an as subtle as possible plea to leave, but before you could, Byakuya made the next move. 

Suddenly his hand grabbed yours, forcefully pulling you with him as he made his storming exit. You’d been longing to cling to his hand, but this rough and sudden movement made your head spin. The air seemed to be choked out of your lungs, leaving you to gasp a bit. Your hand trembled in his as you held onto him as tightly as you could, and your numb feet fumbled over themselves to keep up with his brisk pace. The panic in your mind bubbled over; you couldn’t hold it back. Despite your obvious distress he kept moving forward adamantly towards his room. 

“I wish those idiots would stop wasting my time. They don’t seem to understand that I don’t-” Byakuya stopped when he looked over his shoulder at you, finally noticing your fretful expression. He froze in place as he quickly put together what was wrong. “Ah. Come on, then.” He kept your hand in his as he unlocked the door and led you in. 

Closing the door behind him securely and making sure to lock it, he turned and studied your form with intense cerulean eyes. You stood locked in place, hands jittering uneasily and heavy tears swarming around your lashes. Unfortunately, he was all too acquainted with the sight. Had he been considerate enough to look over and check on you during this morning’s tense meeting, he would’ve recognized your discomfort immediately. Now he was left with a panicked lover and the heavy weight of guilt on his shoulders. 

Byakuya signed, as if releasing a mix of his pride and his guilt, before reaching his arms out for you. “Come here.” He didn’t need to tell you twice. You rushed towards him, feet clumsily moving against the tile before your body crashed into his. He bristled slightly, though mostly out of habit, before wrapping his long arms around you firmly. Immediately you buried your face in his chest. Previously held back tears spilled down your cheeks. You were certain you'd feel guilty for crying on his shirt later, but right now you were focused on his familiar scent and warm embrace. 

His arms tightened around you as he felt you shake with sobs and he rested his head against yours. "It's.. alright. I'm here." 

He spoke with an uncharacteristic uncertainty. It was pretty clear that he wasn't used to being gentle and reassuring, but he was trying. He was trying his best for you. 

"I need you to name five things around us right now."

It took a moment for you to be able to focus enough to do so, but you managed. Him, the books he'd taken from the library that sat on his desk, the sweatshirt you'd accidentally left in his room last night, his violin case in the corner, and the painting on the wall. 

He seemed satisfied with your answer, not pressing you anymore.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled against his shirt after a moment, too embarrassed to look up and face him. 

"Don't," he scolded half heartedly, "There's nothing to apologize for. I should've been wise enough to consider how such a scene would make you feel." 

Just the fact that he wanted to take your feelings in consideration made your heart flutter. Byakuya wasn't the type to consider any emotions, let alone uncomfortable ones like sadness and hurt. Hearing him say that he cared about your feelings made you feel better in itself. Byakuya Togami admitting that might as well have been a profession of infatuation. 

And he meant it. For the first time, there was a major part of him that wanted to protect something other than himself and his legacy. 

Another moment of silence lingered in the room before he spoke again. "Are you alright now?"

You lingered in his chest for a few minutes. You knew that at some point soon you'd need to go back out there and face the reality of being stuck here, but standing here, enveloped in your boyfriend's arms, you could almost push away the feeling of dread that had tangled around your heart. As far as you were concerned, right now it was just you and him. 

#byakuya togami #x reader #self insert #imagines #danganronpa #trigger happy havoc #comfort fic #byakuya x reader #rae writes #this is not good im so sorry

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: Love Language, ch. 6

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfiction #kagami tsurugi #marinette dupain cheng #marigami #kagaminette #kagami x marinette #tomoe tsurugi #jagged stone #uncle jagged #adrien agreste #wayhem #ml gorilla #chloe bourgeois #chloe redemption #lila rossi #lila 'the liar' rossi #lila salt #alya cesaire #alya sugar #adrien sugar #alec cataldi salt #my fanfiction

[lokibug]

Darkness

Pairing: Loki x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You have an power that is set off far more rapidly due to mood, you often reduce your feelings. Loki understands and helps you embrace your negative emotions.

Warning(s): Mental Health issues, Cursing, Angst

A/N: This isn’t the best organized story but sometimes we need to cry and this is a story about that. Ive also got a quote from somewhere that inspired me to write this. I’m not positive where from, though.

The ceiling. The ceiling is the first thing y/n spent staring at every morning for an hour. The composure was something she needed, to endure the rest of the day. Recently being able to do so had become more and more of challenge.

Just like any other day, she refreshened herself in the tower’s bathroom. However, she was in luck since she had the level all to herself. Typically Wanda would be in her chambers but she was on leave alongside Vision. They had taken up a small mission in Japan.

Today would be normal, quiet. Everyone would be to themselves and the day would be over just as quickly as it had started. Perhaps she would just take a walk around the park, see a movie alone. Avoid the others as much as she could without giving off the wrong impression.

Running a hand through her hair, she walked into the dining room. Suddenly all the voices that were speaking in hushed tones, silenced.

“Happy Birthday, y/n!” the team mates spoke in unison.

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat as she glanced at the tower of iced and sprinkled waffles placed upon a silicone plate. Her eyes darted from the waffles to the nearby window and panic slightly spread through her body. Seeing the clouds pick up pace she took a deep breath and masked a smile. She couldn’t let her emotions get the best of her, her powers came with a horrid side effect. Weather change.

“Thank you guys,” she rubbed the back of her neck, “how’d you know?”

Folding the newspaper he was reading, Tony peeked behind his reading glasses, “Your file. Pepper did the honors of filing your birthday into the system last year when you joined the team.” He stood up and glanced at the waffles. “The tower of diabetes was the kid’s idea.”

Peter came into the dining room sliding with his socks upon his feet. “Aw! Did you guys surprise her without me?”

“If you had gotten up on time then you would’ve been here, kid.” Tony spoke after sipping on whatever was in his mug.

“Thank you Peter.” Y/N said after containing herself. She allowed a small smile as he embraced her gently. Along came birthday wishes from the rest of the team before they exited for their daily duties.

The one person y/n’s eyes searched for, was Loki. She met them when he was gently leaning against the marble counter. His eyes fixated on her as if he had been studying her since entered the dining room. Noticing her notice him, Loki lifted up the glass mug in her direction slightly without any words spoken. She delicately nodded as if to say, “Thank you for not making a huge deal of this nightmare of a day.”

Snapping her out of her thoughts, Thor placed a hand on her shoulder, “Congratulations on your day of birth lady y/n. Jane sends her best wishes.” A Congratulations wasn’t the term that should be used for such a day in her mind. It was...a mistake. Instead of indulging her new friend in her sorrows, she smirked and nodded.

“Thanks Thor, tell Jane thanks too.” He smirked and sat back down at the table.

Loki unfolded his arms from his chest and began walking forward. He met eyes with y/n and stared at her till he walked past her with the mug.

Loki and y/n shared an unspoken bond. They were both...different. They weren’t naturally gifted with being as honorable as their team mates. Both were once considered a villain of the public.

Y/N had been misguided while aging, raised by those with malicious intentions. This was only the path down the wrong road, that was until the avengers met her. Last minute, using her abilities for the greater good.

Now that she had a new found family, disappointing them was a crippling thought. Lately, the pressure was on. Any normal person suffering from these anxiety attacks could embrace them...feel them. Y/N on the other hand, anxiety was the first step in obliterating the streets with hectic winds and disaster.

In her eyes, being alone was a simpler task than interacting. Y/N glanced at the stack of waffles and sighed. There was a delicately iced spider right on top along with a little sun resembling her own power. She cradled the overly heavy plate and walked back towards her room and allowed the door to shut lightly behind her.

Loki glanced out the window of his bed room clenching the coffee mug in his pale hands. The skies were gray, typical for New York on a normal. However, the newscast had predicted otherwise as they were expecting sunny skies. Being the mischievous person he was, he snooped through y/n’s file upon her arrival. She was like him, a villain, in his right mind, he wouldn’t trust someone like this. Upon reading through her records, he discovered a few things about her. Ever since, analyzed and watched her in silence.

“Birthday blues?...” he mumbled while taking another sip.

Y/N glanced in the mirror as she popped two anti-depressant pills into her mouth. She barely recognized herself, if she thought she was furious with herself before...she was beyond a breaking point now.

“Y/F/N (friend’s name) you would’ve really enjoyed it here,” she sat upon her bed clutching the torn up teddy bear, “the coffee doesn’t taste like the shit we found outside Mc Donald’s.” Y/N’s transforming mission was also the one that cost her, her best friend. Survivors guilt was all that could describe her feelings. That, blaming herself for being brought into this world, not saving her...became a reaction to the mental battle she faced daily.

Memories roamed her mind and she gently closed her eyes in hopes of stopping them from racing. Sleep arrived, saving her from herself once more.

Hours later, Y/N stood in front of that haunting mirror image. Only this time it was decorated with an expensive dress and a mask of makeup. Instead of her bed room, it was the bathroom of the expensive venue Tony rented out for the evening. He had planned a birthday celebration with Pepper for y/n a month ago. Among the guests were her team mates, members of other teams, fellow company employees, along with their plus ones. Y/N had made her way to the bathroom for a simple breather. Mingling with people she hadn’t met before and being handed drinks she didn’t want to drink with food she didn’t want to eat, drained her.

As she exited the bathroom, she stood in the hallway staring at her phone. Her heels pressed into the fancy carpet as she bit her knuckle. An immense feeling of escape was bubbling and it was dancing with the fear of disappointing her friends.

“Alone when there’s such a...lovely? Party going on in your honor?” A voice spoke snapping her out of her trance.

Her face rose to meet the eyes of none other than Loki. She had to admit he did look amazing in a suit. “I um,” she smiled widely, “just about to head back.” Her face was pure lies and Loki knew it. It almost pained him to see it unfold before his own eyes when he knew the truth.

“Of course, after 30 minutes of standing in the lady’s room admiring yourself I’m guessing,” he sarcastically commented, “unlike the baboons I share a roof with, I notice my surroundings...all of the time.” He stepped closer to her. His eyes scanned her whole domineer, it baffled him how no other member took notice in her obvious suffering.

“What now? You going to go run and tell Tony how I hate this expensive and beautiful party he’s given me? Because if you are, it’s only going to cause more problems that I don’t need.” She slid her phone back into her purse.

Loki let out a soft chuckle, “The opposite actually. Come hither, we’re leaving.” He turned his back and began walking towards the exit in the hallway.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as to just what he meant. He glided with confidence that she’d follow, and she did. The shuffling of her dress made it known that she had. Soon they were outside and Loki had shifted from himself to Tony.

“W-what do you think you’re doing? What’s going on?” She said in a worried voice as she glanced around.

“Be quiet love, I’m taking you somewhere and I can’t let you ride on my back. Well...I can but that’s hardly appropriate.” He smirked and turned towards her.

Y/N groaned and rolled her eyes but remained silent. They approached the valet parking attendants and Loki cleared his voice, managing his best Tony impression. “Yes, can you fetch my car.”

The young man looked up quickly and said, “Oh Mr. Stark—why are you leaving so early?”

He looked towards y/n, “My dear friend here is a bit under the weather. I’m going to take her home. So please, my car.”

“Why yes of course sir, right away. Bring up Mr. Stark’s car.” He commanded another attendee.

Loki turned towards y/n and smirked. She crossed her arms and huffed beneath her breath, “You’re unbelievable. He’s going to find out and when he does, you’re not taking me down with you.”

Soon a shiny black Lamborghini was pulled in front of the two and y/n’s jaw nearly dropped. She was still not used to Tony’s luxurious living and this was astonishing.

Loki went to the car and opened her door for her as she entered. He got in through the other side.

“Thanks!” He shouted before driving off quickly.

Y/N gasped, “I don’t even have a seatbelt on, wait.”

Loki’s green magic shimmered over him as he transformed back into himself, “For someone who can take the power of a lightning bolt through her body, you’re quite jittery.”

Going full speed, he made his way through back streets all the way to a back highway.

“Shut up. Where are we going? This is technically grand theft auto.” She gripped her knee as she seen the moon slightly disappear behind dark clouds. Noticing this, Loki smirked to himself.

“Well would you rather me leave you at the party with people that don’t even know your name?” He shot back.

“Yeah because you know me so well.” She sarcastically spoke.

Loki gripped the wheel as he made his way around the road. Y/N couldn’t admit it, but it was a thrill. Being used to not feeling anything, this was a nice change. Though, her eyes were still fixated on the sky.

“I know you far better than you think.”

Her eyes glanced at the man driving and he peeked back at her through the corner of his eye. He pushed forward.

Twenty minutes passed when he pulled over to the side of the road. A landscape, a clear landscape of nothing but dirt and rocks. “Out.” He commanded.

She blinked a few times as she glanced around, “Where the hell are we? Loki, why did you bring me here?” She was becoming agitated as she seen him smirk.

The clouds began letting down small sprinkles of water. He walked towards the middle of the landscape and shouted over to her, “You’re living a lie.”

She remained quiet as she walked towards him, a small panic scorching her body as she felt the small droplets of water.

“I...I have to.” She was tired of lying. Loki standing here in front of her, confronting her...she didn’t feel the need to lie. She felt as if she were five inches tall.

“For what? For them? The public?” He spat out. In a way he was almost scolding himself.

“Why does it matter to you anyways?” She angrily spoke back as the rain moved faster.

“Y/N I watch you, every single day. You pretend to be someone you are not. Righteous. Pretending like you’re not angry at the universe for taking what’s yours.”

Her heart thumped as she grit her teeth together, “I asked why do you fucking care!”

He gripped her shoulders, “Because! You’re like me! You’re dying inside and it’s painful to watch! I’m here to teach you how to rid yourself of the burden you’ve carried so long, y/n.”

She looked up at him as her chest heaved and the rain began soaking their hair. “You won’t feel the same about me if I do..” she mumbled looking down. The attraction towards Loki wasn’t something she denied but how could she allow herself into someone’s life if she could barely endure her own?

Loki circled her and stood behind her, “Light is easy to love...show me your darkness.”

The rain dripped down her cheeks as if she were showering. Her fists clenched until her knuckles turned white. “I can’t...” She croaked out as tears fell.

“Yes you can y/n. Never deny your feelings...”

“I’ll hurt people, I-I don’t wanna do that anymore.” She turned to face him.

“There’s no one for miles, love. Let me show you.” He took her hand and faced the other side of the road. He took a deep breath before screaming as loud as he could into the raining night sky. Y/N watched him and her hand shook along with the rest of her body. He took a deep breathe, “You try.”

Y/N looked at him for reassurance and he nodded, “Ahhh!” She screamed out and thunder rumbled.

“Yes, keep going y/n. Do it again. Shout it, what troubles you.” He released her hand and stepped back.

She nodded and looked down, “I hate you! I hate being you! You let her die!” She sobbed as the rain hit down harder than before. Lightning sparked in the clouds. “You’ll never be what they want you to be! I’ll never be that! I’m here! I exist!” She screamed out while her arms extended. Loki watched cautiously as her body shook and he held an arm over his head to stop the rain from hitting his eyes.

“I-I’m here! I made it!” Right as she shouted a bolt of lightning struck down in front of her causing her to fall to the ground and dig her hands into the muddy floor. Her shoulders shook and immediately Loki went over to her and collected her into his embrace.

“I exist..” she mumbled into his shoulder as she cried.

“I know y/n...and you’ll keep living...” he rubbed the back of her soaked head.

She gripped onto his suit tightly embracing him. The negative feelings being released and a weight off her shoulders, “Thank you...thank you so much.” She said into his neck. “You have no idea...h-how long I’ve been waiting..”

“...Happy Birthday y/n...”

Loki taglist: @drakesfiance @sunflqweroses @bambamwolf87 @pandaqua @bonelessbarnes @dorkybryan @hunter-demigod-timelord @thatmemequeen @powerstrangerdacre @barnes-infinity-bucky @kcd15 @evanicoya @yuukiiiiasuna @lou-makes-me-strong @gabealien12 @vethrvolnir @noahlizzz @archy3001

Permanent Taglist: @libbymouse @keithseabrook27 @maladaptive-ninja-returns @nephalem67 @tina8009 @marvelismylifffe @gwendolyn-loves-gay

#loki #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki x oc #loki fic #loki fanfiction #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #avengers x reader #avengers #avengers fanfiction

[izzycle]

20 OC questions from here that is basically prompts for me to ramble on

Maybe one day I’ll make things more concise, but right now here is a super long list of things that answer these questions, but also go on big rambles in an attempt to build Dion’s character and backstory more 🙃 ones crossed out I answered in asks

1. On a scale of “is occasionally forced to bathe” to “Instagram model with sponsors to hoe for” how involved is your OC’s Skincare routine?

2. What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

Dion has always loved “homely” meals, things which are very filling, warm, and comfort food. He’s very simple when it comes to food, will eat anything offered but much prefers homemade meals. His favourite is a mildly spicy butternut squash soup, something he used to share with his mum by the fireplace when it was a cold day. Of course he doesn’t remember this anymore, but that comforting feeling still lingers whenever he has this soup now, so although he doesn’t understand why, this meal has become his comfort food once again, that he’ll have curled up on the windowsill, watching the rain, most likely with Faust curled around his shoulders.

Soups, stews, etc are his go to meals, especially on busy days to make sure he and Asra are well fed and have a lot of energy. Enjoys mild to medium spice, but isn’t a fan of things such as curries, it is more of a “chilli in his soup” sort of preference. Big fan of green veg, and salads, and wishes he had a veg garden at the shop, but one that didn’t require much upkeep.

Because he lives at the shop, rarely leaving, everything is homemade, based usually around what veg he has. Frequently makes too much even though he is used to being on his own. Pretends that this is for ease and stores the spares for the next few days but really he just doesn’t realise he’s pining for Asra to come back, to their home and the home cooking. But feels as if his “boring” stay at home lifestyle wouldn’t compare to all the sights and foods Asra may experience, and therefore why would he want some boring soup Dion made?

3. What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC?

Not much annoys Dion, he is mainly in 3 moods, neutral/relaxed, anxious, or the super rare - happy. I think the thing that would annoy him the most is if people handle his belongings without permission or care.

He would never say anything but casually brush against his yarn? Roughly move knitted products around? Not listen to wash instructions and come in to complain about his work? Move crystals from their places on the windowsill? He will be silently seething. He takes pride in his crafts, and studies what he puts into them from stitches, to colours, to yarn, so if you show no care for this? He will get upset. People don’t understand how much work and care goes into “just a hat” so aren’t careful, and it silently ticks him off. And his crystals? They’re there to help with the aura of the rooms, each in specific places, each cleansed and not even for sale, purely to improve the protections, magic, strength etc of the shop and magicians inside.

4. What’s your OC’s response to being asked for money by a homeless person?

Easy answer: he’d give whatever he could. Although the actual interaction would set off his anxiety, that’s just because he’d be zoning out and gets like that with anyone who talks to him. But he would get over this anxiety, by ignoring it as best as he can, getting his money out, counting what is needed and giving the rest away. He just wants a modest life, so spare money is spare, and he doesn’t say it, but helping others, even in small ways, makes him happy. A small boost in confidence that he could actually have an effect on someone’s life.

He will also give out spare knitted items to those he knew needed them, say there’s someone who’s been on the streets and the weather is particularly harsh, they would find a wrapped blanket (in the place that they usual sleep), with protection, luck, and warmth spells woven in. Sometimes Dion zones out and would give everything and anything to these people and has to be pulled away before his mental state is affected. Needs to learn that his own needs are important too, instead of spending all his time and money on others, he needs to actually eat and rest.

5. Does your OC get lost easily? What do they do when they do get lost?

6. What would STOP your OC from Doing The Right Thing in a tense situation?

The only thing I can see doing this is if he becomes too anxious. He shuts down when overwhelmed, so if this is a tense situation, especially without someone like Asra to ground him, he will panic and won’t be able to think of what he should do, let alone act on it. It wouldn’t be a case of going against morals and doing something bad, it would be more, he’s shut down and won’t act at all.

One example would be when Julian broke into the shop, and Dion just panicked. Stood there frozen, not responding to any questions, just staring at Julian. The most he could do was try and focus on his breathing. It’s just when things suddenly happen he’s startled and doesn’t know how to act. As time goes on, he gains some of his confidence back, as well as ability to actually think in tense situations, but will look back on this meeting and will only be ashamed. Embarrassed that his reaction to someone threatening, breaking into the shop/ his home, looking for his master, was to stand there like a startled rabbit, trying desperately not to pass out. Which he almost does when Julian stepped towards him. This definitely broke Julian’s dramatic act, but still, knowing now that Julian is not such a big threat,

Dion is very anxious and quiet around Julian. Just very tense, not being able to follow along with the dramatics, not wanting to be a part of this intimidating situation. It takes a while for Julian to realise that it wasn’t that he was unliked, it was just a large difference in personalities, and much to Dion’s relief started to tone his dramatics down, and started to talk softer and less erratic to try and reduce the sudden tenseness or anxiety that he may cause.

7. Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at thier own house/battlecamp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a  smiley face painted on?

Oh super easily, although he lives simply, and quietly, he’s perfectly able to look after himself and others.

He doesn’t grow his own garden purely because he would much rather sit and enjoy the energy of nature, rather than actually aid them in growing, but that doesn’t mean he can’t. Just about his preferences. So if he was trusted to look after plants he would easily look after them for that time, and does have a few dotted about the living room to brighten it up anyway. Especially things such as sunflowers to try and brighten up his day, and the windowsills are just filled with lavender plants. Animals and babies, although harder, he would be able to look after them fine as well. He is still very laid back, not to the point of Asra, but as in he wouldn’t be one of those parents who run around babying their children. But, he would easily get anxious over whether he is doing okay. (He is, he just gets worried about everything)

8. If your OC had to take the S.A.T. tomorrow with one night to prep, how would they do?  both emotionally and academically.

Emotionally, a wreck. But are you surprised? It seems like everything makes him a wreck.

Seriously, why is he even in this game? Poor baby is not ready, and yet I’ve shoved him into this world anyway.

Academically he’d do averagely, he’s not a genius, but can quite easily pick things up, and has always been well read. Back home he was raised on high quality educational programs, and he would very often get lost into fantasy fiction (or would it be fantasy in this world?). He has a very creative mind, so those are the things he has always picked up the easiest. But he will definitely worry more than needed, which may make him flounder.

Before being reborn he of course had a lot more confidence and would be able to get through the tests much cooler, he wouldn’t push himself too hard and would instead aim for an easy medium.

9. What would cause your OC to chose to do something petty/pointlessly cruel?

I honestly can’t see anything causing him to act this way? He has a strong moral system, so it would require an entire change of character for him to be pointlessly cruel or petty. He may on very rare occasions (pregame) make snide remarks under his breath, such as after talking to someone incredibly hypocritical but most of the time he wouldn’t dare. He is too timid of a person to act that way, and struggles to act strongly when it is needed, let alone when it would be in a cruel/ pointless way.

10. On a scale of “Complete and Justified nervous breakdown” to “Conquer The Entire Galaxy and become an Immortal God-Emperor”, how well would your OC handle being abducted by Aliens?

11. What song is 100% garunteed to get your OC beyond turnt and will be sung loudly and emabarrasingly, either in public or the shower?

“Love Like You” by Rebecca Sugar/ from Steven Universe for sure. Something his voice can easily and comfortably sing along to, and the lyrics speak to him, as he doesn’t see himself in a very positive light. Feels unremarkable and wonders how Asra could love him as he is.

He also won’t admit it, but can catch himself almost singing along to some Halsey songs, (“Walls Could Talkl, “Bad at Love”, “Coming Down”) embarrassed that some of the lyrics are more... raunchy riske than what you’d expect him to like. But if you catch him when down, mad, melancholic, etc, he’s likely to have these going around in his head.

He definitely wallows and although this alternative music can have similar lyrics, the style can help pick him up a little. Again. He wouldn’t ever be caught in the rare situations he’d be listening to this type of music. I mean what are you talking about, he’s a pure baby, only good, innocent pop music for him

12. What perfectly-normal-to-them-thing does your OC do that confuses/pisses off/terrifies their neighbors?

Hm I think what confuses everyone is his aversion to shoes. He feels more connected, and grounded when his feet or on the ground, especially when he’s in nature.

Neighbours? I’d say the fact he is so quiet, he barely ever leaves home or moves about, so they honestly forget that there is anyone who is home when Asra is on one of his trips. So if they look out and suddenly see him by the window that terrifies them because they forget he exists.

13. Under what circumstances would your OC appear naked in public?

Literally the only way he would be is if someone robbed him of his clothes while in public

14. What thing did your OC’s parents do that your OC wishes they had a better explanation for?

He wouldn’t understand how they could love him so much that they allowed him to be who he was openly, despite the backlash from the village. Or the events that transpired, he didn’t understand how they could be so supportive and want him to be happy. But at the same time didn’t understand how they could then stay in such a community that was so unwelcoming and would have happily cut them off, despite their high social standing, purely for having a child who is trans

15. How often does your OC “zone out” or do things on autopilot and how severe have the problems that have arisen from that been?

Very often, it’s the only way he would get most shop things done without Asra there now. Most of his life is just on autopilot when he’s alone, wake up, eat, set up shop, open, close, eat, clean, sleep. It’s very monotonous and although he finds it preferable to being out of his comfort zone, if Asra was there full time he would actually slowly come out of his shell and enjoy life more instead of the fleeting moments he gets when Asra is home.

If he doesn’t have to open shop, he will sit on the couch and zone out, forgetting to feed himself at all. There’s been a few times Asra has come home to find that Dion hasn’t eaten all day (luckily he’s never arrived too late that this has gone on for longer than 12 hours) because he has been so focused on finishing his project.

The only time that he zones out and it seems to be helpful is if he goes to the forest, he will sit under a tree, or small space, and spend hours centring and calming himself

16. How strong or weak is your OC’s Impulse control? What’s the worst thing that happened becuase of thier Impulsivity or inability to be so?

He has impulse reactions sometimes due to his anxiety, but the most this is, is to disappear or run away from problems. He doesn’t do anything to harm himself or others. It is more of a panic “get out now” reaction, which sometimes he can’t even follow because he will freeze on the spot.

There are very rare occasions he’ll suddenly want to do something, and he will act against his anxiety to get it done. Such as, complimenting, hugging, or even just interacting with Asra, smiling at someone, asking for help, etc. He will get the urge to do these things and will have to act on these impulses before the anxiety sets in too much to stop him. Even rarer, if he tries to kiss Asra, or tease him? It has happened, but don’t hold your breath waiting for it

17. How does your OC sabotage themselves? 

Shutting himself off from the world. He doesn’t realise just how much it continues to damage him, because he is trying to avoid his anxiety and panic, but he’s just setting it further into his personality. And creating a dependence on Asra to help with the loneliness he feels while Asra is away, or to fill his days with something other than his monotonous tasks.

18. What’s the trashiest item in your OC’s wardrobe, when was the last time they wore it and why do they still have it?

I can’t see him actively getting himself anything trashy. Pregame he was a lot more confident with his body, not even needing his tattoos to feel good about his chest, and wore more low cut, open shirts. Similarly to Asra or Julian. That was as far as he would go.

The “worst” of his outfits would most likely come from Nadia, who (like everyone else) doesn’t know he has these scars so would try and counteract his usual baggy outfits in an extreme way. He needs a moment to collect himself but he does go out in outfits like that easier as time goes on, but he would much rather hide in his baggy clothes. He finds comfort in the layers. Although he did enjoy the reaction he received when Asra first saw his Palace outfit. So he won’t have worn these outfits since the last time he needed to be “fancy” aka visit Nadia at the palace

19. How Dehydrated is your OC right now? Are they going to fix this?

Not very, he pretty much always has a collection of herbal teas ready for action, he wouldn’t be able to keep his nerves in check throughout the work day without the calming effects of them

20. What’s your OC smell like?  no, not that “Vanilla and Anxiety” evocative stuff, realistically.  Body odor? what have they been touching all day? When was thier last shower? Did they put on any kind of artificial scent?

So the tea he drinks will have a massive effect on the way he smells, and he will smell softly of Jasmine the majority of the time. (Ask Asra: he probably tastes like it too). He has quite a subtle, earthy smell to him. He’s always clean and uses mild soaps so doesn’t tend to have too strong of a smell. But if you are close to him for periods of time you may be able to pick out the jasmine, and lavender smells from him, sometimes mixed with the sweet smell of wet grass, even if he hasn’t been outside in some time.

#dion #writing #long post #the formatting on this keeps changing #i give up #im going to sleep #its 3:30am

[aimeelockwood-blog]

Panic Away Review – My experience and unbiased opinion

Hey, Noline here. Welcome and thank you for checking out my blog. If you are looking for a complete review of Panic  Away, you have come to the right place as this is where you will find my detailed review of what I experienced and really thought about Panic  Away.

Note that this is a review site: Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

Now you may wonder why I am writing this review. Well, I have been struggling with panic attacks and anxiety for many years. When I found Panic Away, I decided to take a chance on it and to share my personal experiences and how Panic Away may, or may not assist me in this process. I then decided to write a review to help other people like me, who are looking for a solution to this overwhelming feeling that has affected my life for so many years.

What you are about to read is the essential details you need to know before grabbing Panic Away for yourself. But be warned, I give you my personal experience with Panic Away and also the good and the bad, so if that is not what you want to hear, then this review is not for you.

So what exactly is Panic Away and what makes it different?

Away Ebook Panic Away Review

Panic Away, which is a completely natural approach has been developed by Barry McDonagh over many years after he himself suffered from panic attacks and general anxiety for years.

Barry McDonagh identifies the key element to curing panic attacks and overcoming anxiety as no longer fearing the thought of having a panic attack… Around this key concept he developed a comprehensive, but yet simple program for any person who wants to be cured from panic attacks and substantially reduce anxiety.

To discover exactly what is included in Panic Away, check out my previous blog “Panic Away Review – My journey to overcoming anxiety begins”. In summary Panic Away consists of a 256 page eBook, 4 videos and 7 audio recordings for immediate download.

The core of the program is the 21 – 7 Technique, which is made up of the 21 Second Countdown and the 7 Minute Exercise. This is then followed by C.A.L.M. Recovery, which helps to integrate this technique into your life. Panic Away aims to restore you back to your former care free self through eliminating panic attacks and reduce general anxiety fast.

This one simple technique can be applied anywhere and anytime to stop a panic attack in its tracks. It does not matter how long the anxiety has been present, this technique can be applied with great success.

The program is also available in hard copy with the book, dvds and cds ready for home delivery.

It currently includes a free bonus, with lifetime access to the Panic Away private members forum. The forum is available day and night, with supportive members consisting of qualified therapists and lay people who have been there and know what you are experiencing.

Lastly, it comes with a 100% money back guarantee, so if it is not exactly what you need, just return it….

What Panic Away is not…

It is not complicated, nor is it time consuming. It is not a 30 step program that takes forever to implement and only brings minor improvements.

It does not rely on out-dated techniques like distraction or positive affirmations.

It is not NLP or hypnosis and regression is not required to break the cycle.

It is not about teaching coping mechanisms and strategies. In fact it teaches how to be free and to never have another panic attack again.

How did this course help me to overcome anxiety and stop panic attacks?

If you have been following my blog you would know that I have followed the Panic Away program over the last few months. Please read the posts below if you are interested in my experience.

Panic Away Panic Away – Anxiety Thermometer

I have to acknowledge that over the last few weeks I haven’t followed the program. It really only hit me this morning when I sat down to write this review that I have forgotten about Panic Away. I haven’t had a panic attack in weeks and when I think about it now, I have been much less anxious than I have been in many years.

Now, I am too scared to say that Panic Away has cured me. It really is still too early for that, but I haven’t had a panic attack in weeks and my overall anxiety level is probably on a healthy level of 3 to 4.

… but don’t take my word for it. Visit the official Panic Away website and discover the authentic photo and audio testimonials from doctors, psychologists and former sufferers.

Who is Panic Away for?

It is for any person who is tired of being scared of when the next panic attack will strike or any person who is feeling generally anxious.

Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

So, if you have experienced any of these, maybe Panic Away is the answer for you:

Finding yourself in the emergency room at the hospital, because you thought you were having a heart attack only to be told it was “only” anxiety? Worry that you may stop breathing because your chest feels tight and you are breathing erratic? Fear getting stuck in traffic on a bridge? Have anxious thoughts that just don’t seem to stop? Are you nervous and on edge in normal situations that didn’t bother you before? An overwhelming fear that you feel will be pushed you over the edge? If any of these bodily sensations are familiar maybe Panic Away is what you were looking for:

Dizzy spells leading to anxiety Tightness in the chest or shortness of breath Racing heart Obsessive worries and unwanted thoughts For a detailed list of bodily sensations and symptoms refer to my previous post – The physical manifestations and symptoms of a panic attack.

What are the Bad things about it?

The eBook is long, 256 pages long. This does however give you a lot of information on panic, anxiety and so on. You can always skip this information if you just want to jump straight into the 21 – 7 Technique.

The core of the program, the 21 – 7 Technique is simple, almost too simple to believe. If you expect complicated techniques, this is not for you.

What are the Good things about it?

Panic Away was developed by Barry McDonagh who himself used to suffer from panic and anxiety. He managed to work through his own anxiety and that of many other people during private coaching.

The program is presented in an easy to understand and logical format. The core of the program, the 21 – 7 Technique is extensively explained and reinforced with video and audio.

Panic Away provides a number of specific applications of the 21-7 Technique that relates to everyday life like how to deal with panic attacks while driving, leaving home, anxiety caused by the fear of flying and the fear of public speaking.

The 21 -7 Technique can be applied anywhere and anytime…

Overall what do I think?

Panic Away by Barry McDonagh, in my experience can help reduce panic and in the very least substantially reduce anxiety.

It is simple and can be used anywhere and anytime.

Once you GET that you no longer have to fear the thought of a panic attack, anything can happen. Click Here to discover this for yourself.

Hope my review has helped you,

Noline

Quote by Barry McDonagh “The key difference between someone who is cured of panic attacks and those who are not is really very simple. The one who is cured is not afraid of panic attacks.”

I have been quiet for a while. That is not because I decided not to write a Panic Away Review, but because I have been following the C.A.L.M. Recovery part of the Panic Away Program.

This is really important as it helps me to integrate what I have learned and as I am finding, it definitely speeds up my recovery from panic attacks and anxiety. I have decided to take my time, so that when I write a Panic Away Review it will really reflect my experience.

If you are getting impatient and want to check out Panic Away for yourself: Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

So, what is C.A.L.M. Recovery?

C.A.L.M. Recovery is the final element of the Panic Away Program and teaches you how to remove obstructions from your life and to restore the natural flow and thereby letting go of anxiety and panic. C.A.L.M. Recovery consists of four areas:

C – Community Support. Panic Away Panic Away Program

A – Acceptance, which is possibly the most important factor in curing panic attacks. L – Lifestyle Changes, and M – Meaning. Barry McDonagh makes the very valid point that anxious people find it hard to stop checking in on themselves. So, when you move a little bit away from yourself and become more involved with the Community around you, it is a great distraction and helps to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts or circular thinking as I like to think about it. So getting involved in your community doesn’t just help the person you may support, but can help you to get a mental break from your problems.

Acceptance… Many of us feel that acceptance means giving in, but it doesn’t. Wishing things were different to the way they are, doesn’t help.

Firstly, things are the way they are. Secondly it just causes more frustration to fight what is. Thirdly these feelings of resistance that leads to mental conflict, anxiety and panic attacks have already proved that the process of resistance as a strategy to manage anxiety or life for that matter doesn’t work. So, to come back to the tree referred to in my post Panic Away Review – 21 Second Countdown Technique, no tree will fight nature by going head to head with the wind. The tree moves with the wind and moving with the emotion in the present moment means there is no conflict, no resistance and no or at least much less frustration.

To eliminate panic attacks and to reduce anxiety minor Lifestyle Changes (with exercise and diet) can have a big effect. It is however important to make small changes, as big changes are unlikely to be sustainable.

Firstly exercise reduces stress and secondly trains the body to handle the bodily sensations experienced during a panic attack. With regards to dietary chances, consider these three changes:

Eliminate or substantially reduce caffeine and alcohol. Keeping hydrated, so ensure you drink enough water. Eat healthy complex carbohydrates as they release serotonin. Lastly, find Meaning in your panic attacks and anxiety. Rise above the experience by finding meaning in the experience.

My experience to date with Panic Away and C.A.L.M. Recovery

Since I started the Panic Away Program, I feel much calmer and feel that I “am on the road to somewhere specific”. I have incorporated these four principles into my life. Most importantly for me is to accept my life and anxiety and to learn to move and flow with life.

I had to accept that recovery is not a linear process and that it comes with ups and downs. So some days I feel like I take a step back for every two steps I take forward.

I think though that my most important action was the decision to commit to Recovery…

Keep an eye open for my Panic Away Review where I will share my opinion on the program.

In conclusion….

I have now followed Panic Away for a month and am still doing the exercises, although not as regularly as I should. I have incorporated C.A.L.M. Recovery into my everyday life.

The question remains! Can Panic Away cure panic attacks and eliminate anxiety, I still don’t know for sure.

Can it help reduce anxiety and do I feel less anxious? Definitely, no doubt about that!

I will continue to integrate the program into my life and I will write my full review in my Panic Away Review within the next few weeks… Thank you for following my progress.

Panic Away Review – The 21-7 Technique and 7 Minute Exercise

Hey, today I want to write about the 21 – 7 Technique and specifically the second component of the technique, the Seven Minute Exercise as explained by Barry McDonagh in the Panic Away Program.

This is my experience of the Panic Away program. Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

What is the 21 – 7 Technique?

The two main goals of Panic Away are to stop panic attacks and to eliminate general anxiety and the 21 – 7 Technique is the core of the Panic Away program. Barry McDonagh describes the 21 – 7 technique as first aid for anxiety and it is made up of two components:

The 21 Second Countdown Technique which is designed to stop panic attacks, and The Seven Minute Exercise which is designed to reduce general feelings of anxiety. The 21 Second Countdown Technique has been explained in a previous post. Click here to revisit the post. In this post I focus on eliminating general anxiety through the Seven Minute Exercise and my personal experience with the Panic Away program.

Generalized anxiety disorder – what it is and symptoms

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is described as a lingering background anxiety. It tends to stay with a person for days and is associated with exaggerated tension and worry. The symptoms associated with GAD include:

Exhaustion Intrusive thoughts Difficulty concentrating Insomnia Dizziness Nausea Cramps Panic Away Panic Away – Anxiety Thermometer

As explained by Barry McDonagh this is not a mental illness, but a sensitized state.

As can be seen in the picture, the thermometer shows complete relaxation as zero and a full blown panic attack as 10. The typical stress level on an average day for the average person is around 3 to 4. For a person with GAD this level increases to around 5 to 8. The objective of the 7 minute exercise is to reduce this day to day stress level back to around 2 to 4.

What is the Seven Minute Exercise?

The Seven Minute Exercise combines a strong feeling of empathy or unconditional love with relaxation techniques to reduce the general level of anxiety. Ideally this technique should be used right after the 21 Second Countdown Technique and should then be practised three times per day to help in reducing the anxiety level. You can discover how to implement this technique for yourself at the Panic Away official website.

My experience to date in applying the exercise

I tried the exercise as soon as I read how it worked and then also every time that I practised the 21 Second Countdown Technique. The first time I tried it, I felt some pain leaving my body as I relaxed and followed the instructions from the exercise.

I am not always very good at “following” instruction, so have not implemented it three times every day. Maybe I am not the best person to write a Panic Away Review, but anyway… I do however follow it every morning when I wake up and once most days. My anxiety is higher in the morning, so this helps me to ease into the day rather than “fight” into the day.

I had a very frustrating day today, so my anxiety levels have been higher than normal. For one Google sandboxed this blog, so that means that nobody will find it as it doesn’t show up in a Google search. I just hope that it will be released soon, as I really want to share my experiences and my panic away review with as many people as possible.

Anyway let me get back to my experience. This increased anxiety (Around a level 8.) leaves me with stomach cramps and feeling physically hot. When I tried the seven minute exercise, the pain in my stomach just got worse. I then stopped and applied the 21 second countdown and again tried the seven minute exercise. During the 21 second countdown the knots in my stomach released and I could then follow the 7 minute exercise. Afterwards, I was a bit dizzy and had a slight headache, but the knots in my stomach had been “untied” and I felt more like being about a 4 and not an 8 like when I started the exercise. Still stressed, but somewhat calmer and clearer…. I will tell more in my Panic Away Review soon…

In conclusion….

I am still following the exercise and realizing that both are better than the one without the other. I generally first try to do the 21 second countdown, although as I said earlier when you try to invoke a panic attack it tends not to be there.

Can this cure panic attacks and eliminate anxiety, I don’t know yet. Can it help reduce anxiety? At this time I think so. I will write about my experience and my personal review in my Panic Away Review within the next week or two.

Bye for now… Noline

My Experience with Panic Away The physical manifestations and symptoms of a panic attack Posted on November 20, 2011 by Noline 10 COMMENTS In this post I like to share the physical manifestations and the symptoms of a panic attack as described by Barry McDonagh in his Panic Away program.

The physical manifestations of a panic attack and the role of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems

Anxiety is a response to a danger or threat. Its objective is to either fight the danger or to flee from it and therefore its sole purpose is to protect you from harm. The working of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems was explained in a previous post. Click here to revisit the post.

In ancient times our survival depended on this fight or flight response and even today it is needed when we find ourselves in a situation where we have to make split second decisions.

When confronted with danger, the brain sends signals to the autonomous nervous system.

Panic Away Release of adrenaline

The sympathetic nervous system releases adrenaline from the adrenal glands priming our body for action. When a panic attack begins, it does not switch off as easily as it is turned on as these signals continue to travel throughout the body. This is one of the physiological causes of panic attacks.

Eventually the parasympathetic nervous system is engaged and its role is to return the body to homeostasis or balance, but only once the perceived danger is gone. This is a built in system that will always kick in as the body cannot continue in an ever-increasing spiral of anxiety – no matter what our mind tells us.

During the fight or flight experience, resources like blood, oxygen and so on are moved to where they are needed most. This has an effect on the various bodily systems. It is these effects that cause the symptoms we experience during a panic attack and are briefly described below.

Symptoms of a panic attack

The fight or flight response affects the different bodily systems as follows:

Cardiovascular system – Blood moves to the area where it is most needed for a fast response. For instance it moves away from the hands, arms skin and so on to the thighs in preparation for fast action. This result in: Increased heartbeat Numbness in the arms and fingers Tingling in the arms, fingers and so on Tingling in the stomach Respiratory system – Breathing increases to allow more oxygen to prepare for action. The result of this however is also less oxygen to the head. The increased breathing, but less oxygen to the head results in the following: Breathlessness Panic Away Chest tightness symptom of a panic attack

Hyperventilation Sensations of choking and smothering Tightness in the chest Dizziness ( and sometimes extreme dizziness) Blurred vision Confusion Sense of unreality Hot flushes Muscles – Many muscles tense up in anticipation to fight or flee. This could lead to: Feelings of tension Muscle aches and pains Trembling and shaking Digestive system – As seen above resources are moved to the body systems that require more, leaving the digestive system with less. This could lead to: Dry mouth as less saliva is produced Nausea Butterflies in the stomach Constipation and other digestive concerns Panic AwayOverall – The flight or fight response results in an activation of the overall body metabolism. This can leave a person hot and flushed and ultimately drained and tired. When these symptoms and sensations occur and people do not understand why, they feel and worry that they have contracted an illness, or a serious mental condition. The threat of losing complete control seems very real and naturally very terrifying. This often starts the vicious circle of a fear of fear…

Quote by Barry McDonagh from Panic Away – “Panic attacks are not your enemy and they are not dangerous; they are an overreaction to a series of heightened bodily sensations.”

Anxiety Information Panic Away Review, Physical manifestations of a panic attack, Sympathetic nervous system What cause panic attacks and anxiety? Posted on November 14, 2011 by Noline 1 COMMENT There is much debate as to the causes of anxiety disorders. In this post I briefly share the views of Barry McDonagh as explained in his program Panic Away.

Anxiety disorders are often the result of exhaustion. This can be:

Physical exhaustion as a result of poor diet, substance abuse and bodily and hormonal changes. There is a clear link between hormonal changes like premenstrual syndrome and perimenopause and anxiety. Mental exhaustion brought on by excessive worry or stress. Emotional exhaustion linked to bereavement, divorce or an internal conflict caused by abuse or neglect. When a person is depleted in any of these three areas, the body and the mind becomes sensitized or overly alerted and more susceptible to anxiety disorder. In this sensitized state a person feels jittery and more susceptible to an internal shock like a rapid heartbeat or an external shock like a loud noise.

This sensitized state can lead to a person feeling more confused about bodily sensations. As a person becomes more confused about the sensations they feel or a change in their bodies, the more they fear that something is seriously wrong. An anxious thought can then send the body into overdrive as happens when you experience a panic attack. A cycle of fear and confusion in this sensitized state turns into an anxiety disorder over time.

Quote by Barry McDonagh from Panic Away – “What keeps a panic attack coming is the fear of the fear – the fear that the next one will really knock your socks off and the feeling that you were lucky to have made it unscathed through the last one. Your confidence has been damaged by the previous attack. Once you fully understand that you are not under threat you can then have a new response to the anxiety.”

Anxiety Information Causes of panic attacks, Panic Away, Panic Away Review The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system Posted on October 26, 2011 by Noline 28 COMMENTS In this post I briefly look at what the autonomous nervous system and its two parts the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are and how they work.

The autonomous nervous system controls body activities automatically. It is composed of neurons that regulate cardiac muscle, smooth muscles and glands. The relative stability of our bodies depends largely on the workings of the autonomous nervous system.

The autonomous nervous system is made up of two parts, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous system. These two parts effectively have opposite functions. The one stimulates and the other inhibits. The sympathetic nervous system acts as the gas pedal and the parasympathetic nervous system acts as the brake.

The sympathetic nervous system is often called the “fight or flight” system. It comes into effect when we are excited or in life threatening situations. Its function is to provide the best conditions for responding to a threat.

The parasympathetic nervous system is active when the body is in a resting phase. Its main function is the promotion of normal digestion and elimination of faeces and urine. It further conserves energy, especially by reducing the demands on the cardiovascular system.

These two parts complement each other and it is important to have them in “balance” and our bodies in homeostasis. As per Wikipedia: “human homeostasis refers to the body’s ability to physiologically regulate its inner environment to ensure its stability in response to fluctuations in the outside environment.”

The illustration below shows the effect of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system on the different organs of the body.

Panic Away

When the body is in a continued state of anxiety, the sympathetic nervous system is over stimulated and the parasympathetic nervous system does not get an opportunity to do its work.

Quote by Barry McDonagh from Panic Away – “Recovery happens by teaching the person to break the cycle of anxiety and stop adding fear to fear.”

Anxiety Information Autonomous nervous system, Panic attack, Panic Away Review Panic attacks and general anxiety – Basics Posted on October 4, 2011 by Noline 10 COMMENTS In this post I highlight some basic concepts and definitions as they relate to panic attacks and anxiety.

A panic attack is defined as a period of intense fear that are of sudden onset and last for a short period of time. An attack begins abruptly, reach a peak within minutes and then subside after several hours. It may however take days to recover from an anxiety attack, especially after the first attack.

Experiencing a panic attack, especially for the first time can be an intensely frightening experience. People often fear that they may be having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown. It often also leads to anticipatory anxiety in situations similar to where an attack occurred before.

Panic attacks vary from person to person and can be either spontaneous or situational. A situational panic attack occurs when a person finds themselves in a situation or place where they experienced a panic attack before.

Anxiety is defined as a state of apprehension or fear resulting from the anticipation of a real or imagined threat, event, or situation. It is one of the most common human emotions experienced by most people at some point in their lives.

Anxiety is not a mental illness; it is a behavioural problem and therefore can be easily corrected with the right guidance, knowledge and action.

Experiencing a panic attack is not physically dangerous. Panic attacks are not the enemy; they are the result of your mind misinterpreting the signals sent by your body. Anxiety is a built-in mechanism to protect us from danger.

Panic attacks and the fear of having another can lead to generalized anxiety disorder or GAD. Generalized anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder which is characterized by exaggerated worry and tension. Some people may describe it as a fear of fear, personally I describe it as circular thinking as I feel that the same fearful thoughts go around and around in my mind.

Lastly, having an anxiety disorder in no way relates to a lack of courage. In fact, getting up day after day and facing your fears takes a lot of courage. On the positive side it builds and develops inner strength…

Quote by Barry McDonagh from Panic Away – “What if I told you the trick to ending panic attacks is to want to have one!”

Anxiety Information Panic attack, Panic attacks and general anxiety, Panic Away Review Panic Away Review – the 21 Second Countdown Technique Posted on September 30, 2011 by Noline 14 COMMENTS Hey, today I want to write about the 21 Second Countdown Technique, which is the first part of the 21 – 7 Technique explained by Barry McDonagh in the Panic Away program. I will write more about the Panic Away program and the 21 – 7 Technique later. I was eager to jump in and try the 21 Second Countdown Technique and over the last few days I used it a number of times to stop panic attacks.

I have to note at this time, that just taking action, recognizing and understanding how these circular thoughts in my mind is affecting me has already made me feel more in control. Sometimes you get into a rut and the moment you start moving forward, everything looks brighter and seem to get better.

This post is about my experience with Panic Away. Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

What is the 21 Second Countdown?

The 21 Second Countdown is the first part of the 21 – 7 Technique which forms the core of the Panic Away program by Barry McDonagh. It is a simple four step program that can be used anywhere and anytime to stop panic attacks in their tracks.

The technique is focussed on observing and embracing feelings related to anxiety and panic attacks and not fighting, suppressing or trying to work around the feelings with positive thinking or happy thoughts. When observing and embracing the feelings we approach anxiety in a new way that does not require us to go head to head and fight with the feelings. Rather, we follow that what we generally observe in nature – acceptance and participation. No tree will fight nature by going head to head against the wind. The tree moves with the wind and moving with the fear and bodily sensations is the first step in overcoming panic attacks.

Thirdly we stay with the feelings and demand the feelings or fear to become stronger. When we don’t fight the feelings, we don’t create the tug of war to keep fuelling the war. Maybe we should all try a bit more of this in our relationships as well… :)

The fourth step is about trust, trusting that a panic attack is not dangerous and will not physically harm you in any way. The 21 Second Countdown Techniques then teaches a quick and easy way to implement these four steps counting down from 21 to 1. You can discover how to implement this technique for yourself at the Panic Away official website.

My experience to date in applying the technique

Firstly I tried to follow Barry McDonagh suggestion that I should “look for”/encourage a panic attack to practice the technique. It is however not so easy to bring on a panic attack when you want to have one. I suppose this is because when you eliminate the irrational fear, the panic attack itself can’t happen.

When the circular thinking in my mind did lead to an anxiety attack it felt counter intuitive not to want to fight and the fear got worse before it got better. Afterwards I felt disbelief more than anything and maybe just a little like a tree that looks strong, but is wise enough to move with the wind…

Noline

My Experience with Panic Away 21 Second Countdown Technique, Panic Away Review At last someone understands – could Panic Away be my answer? Posted on September 12, 2011 by Noline 1 COMMENT I watched the introduction to Panic Away and wondered why I have not found this program before. Yes, I really felt that someone understands exactly how I feel. This gives me hope, firstly this means that I am not alone and secondly if Barry McDonagh really understands these feelings, maybe this course can help me overcome anxiety and panic attacks.

The introduction video shows an animated character Jane having a panic attack during a shopping trip. She finds her heart beating hard and her throat pulsating. She thinks something is wrong and then run all the worst possible scenarios through her mind. She goes to the hospital for tests and is told that she had a panic attack. She is shaken by the experience and now lives in fear worrying that it could happen again. She feels restless and can’t concentrate, continually thinking and worrying about the next panic attack.  She now worries obsessively and has entered a phase which is referred to as general anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder. She now worries constantly and goes back and forth between panic attacks and general anxiety.

Sounds familiar? Watching this video made me realize that I am not alone and that someone out there understands how I feel. And just maybe, if Barry knows how I am feeling, his Panic Away Program may help me overcome anxiety and stop panic attacks.

I have detailed exactly what is included in the Panic Away Program in my previous post – Panic Away Review – My journey to overcoming anxiety begins. Check it out by clicking on the link if you would like to see the makeup of Panic Away for yourself. Then, watch the video of Jane’s second panic attack during lunch with a friend and discover for yourself, whether this is what you are going through.

My Experience with Panic Away Panic attack, Panic Away, Panic Away Review Panic Away Review – My journey to overcoming anxiety begins Posted on August 25, 2011 by Noline 4 COMMENTS My aim is to deal with my anxiety and to stop panic attacks. My aim with this website is to share my experiences as I work through my anxiety and ultimately to write a Review of Panic Away based on my experiences.

So I bought Panic Away created by Barry McDonagh and got access to the member’s area. This basic purchase gives me access to the bronze area. I am not exactly sure what that means right now, or what other levels there are, but I am sure I will find out over time.

I bought the basic program, so will limit my Panic Away Review to this program. There is also a coaching option which brings with it a 28 day challenge where one can work with an advisor who will help you set challenges and provide advice for your specific problem. It suggests fast results can be achieved with the least effort. I haven’t gone for this option as I prefer to work on my own.

So where do I start? Well, first I downloaded all the material. The Panic Away Program consists firstly of the e-book that is 256 pages long and include the following chapters:

Introduction What causes an Anxiety Disorder 21 – 7 Technique The 21 Second Countdown Examples for real life situations Eliminating general anxiety The 7 Minute Exercise C.A.L.M. Recovery Dealing with unwanted Anxious Thoughts Dealing with unwanted Bodily Sensations Dealing with Morning Anxiety Dealing with Insomnia and Night Panic Dealing with Phobias Dealing with O.C.D Dealing with Setbacks Turning the Corner Anxiety Medication A Round Up of the Usual Suspects Conclusion Then there are 4 videos:

An 18 minute Introduction 21 Second Countdown 7 Minute Exercise C.A.L.M. Recovery Panic Away Panic Away Program

Next there are also 7 audio recordings:

Introduction 21 Second Countdown 7 Minute Exercise Symphony Technique Driving Anxiety Deep Release End Anxious Thought Part 1 End Anxious Thought Part 2 Now this is a lot to take in and all this material is enough to make me somewhat anxious, but I will work through the material and start to think about my Panic Away Review and will check in again later or tomorrow…

Noline

This blog is about my personal experience with Panic Away. Click here to read my final Review of Panic Away and…

#panic away #panic attack #panic

[mindfulwrath]

Silver, Part XIII

Penultimate.

Words: 3,842 Warnings: Themes of suicide

Part I Part XII

Things had gone incredibly bad incredibly quickly. It had all happened so fast that Jekyll was hard-pressed to pick the exact moment when he'd tipped over the precipice and plummeted directly into hell.

At some point after his dalliance with Jasper, later on that same night, he had fallen asleep on his desk. He couldn't have dozed for more than an hour or two before coming around again, but he'd felt the nap had done him good, leaving him more energized, more enthused, ready to take on the world. By force of habit, he had reached for a bottle of wine.

With a startlingly small hand.

He'd stared for a good five seconds before leaping to his feet and rushing to the mirror. Green eyes and blond hair confronted him, not illusory but truly reflected in the glass. His heart hammered wildly. He rushed to lock the door. There was no air in the room. Surely it must have been a nightmare, surely it couldn't be real, but no matter how he pinched and slapped himself, he would not wake up.

The facts were indisputable. He had fallen asleep as Henry Jekyll, and woken up as Edward Hyde.

Barely swallowing down his panic, he had somehow managed to mix a dose of the potion and get himself back into his proper shape. His mind had been besieged by fear, and he could do nothing but pace, pace and worry and talk to himself.

"A fluke," he muttered. "Some accident. The stress, perhaps. That's all it is, a fluke. It's all right. It's all right."

Hyde had been uncharacteristically silent. Jekyll almost wished he would speak up, just so he would have someone to yell at. For safety's sake, he decided to stay at the Society, in his lab if possible, just in case of a repeat performance.

Over the following three days, there had been several.

Jekyll could no longer deny it—every time he fell asleep, even if only for a few minutes, he would wake again as Hyde. The trembling terror that overtook him made it nearly impossible to get himself back, Hyde's volatility pushing him more towards flight than reasonable mitigation. He stayed locked in his laboratory at the Society as much as humanly possible, kept all conversations brief. There was no telling what might develop next, what other strange side-effects might be lurking in his blood. He slept as little as possible, for fear of someone walking in on him when he was Hyde. He certainly did not go home—the odds of Poole bustling in first thing in the morning and catching him in the wrong body were far, far too high.

His attempts to set things up for the exhibition were crumbling, like sandcastles at the incoming tide. He could not focus, so great was his anxiety at being outside of his laboratory, away from his alchemy and in the public eye. There was too much that could go wrong. His charm slipped on more than one occasion and it was only through abject groveling that he managed to prevent total catastrophe. His days were wrapped in fog, his nights bleak and full of terror. Every slightest twinge in his body sent him into paroxysms of fear, heralding (he was sure) an unprompted transformation during his waking hours.

That would be the end of it, he knew. That would be the moment when he was unsalvageable, when he would have to flee forever, or at least until he could work out how to make it stop. He prayed he could last until the exhibition. He did not hold out much hope.

The news got around to him that Jasper had taken off, seemingly without warning or reason. He supposed that was for the best. It would be fewer distractions, less potential for being caught in a compromising position. What was one more lost friend to him then? It had been inevitable that Jasper would catch on to Jekyll's inherent wickedness; better he left now, before any further harm could be done. Better he left without ever knowing the full depravity of what Jekyll had done.

Near the end of the third day, Utterson tried to talk with him. Jekyll sent him away as harshly as he could, trying to ensure he wouldn't come back. The last thing he needed was another friend—his last friend—seeing the same horrors Lanyon had and betraying him in the same way. He would much rather Utterson hate him mundanely than know that it was Jekyll who had so viciously wounded Mr. Guest, who had lashed out so violently at Utterson himself.

When Utterson had gone, Jekyll went back to his desk and sat down. Everything hurt. He could scarcely keep his eyes open. He'd been avoiding sleeping, and it was catching up with him. He just had to hold out a little longer, just until most of the lodgers had gone to bed and wouldn't be knocking on his door unexpectedly. He cast a longing look at the new bottle of wine, but resisted. It certainly wouldn't help with his wakefulness. Coffee would be better for that, but he'd have to leave the lab. . . .

Just lock the door, and to hell with it, Hyde said, eyeing him from inside the bottle.

"We haven't got enough of the chemicals to be spending them frivolously," Jekyll said. It was the first time Hyde had said anything (outside of his own body) in days. It was something of a relief, or at least a return to normalcy.

So get more, said Hyde. It's not hard. Send Poole for it, if you can't be arsed.

"In the morning," Jekyll sighed, rubbing his eyebrow.

Listen, if you sleep a whole night, you'll end up using less in the long run, since you won't be dropping off every two hours.

"Are you giving me good advice?" Jekyll asked, eyeing him dubiously.

I don't want to wind up hanged any more than you do, said Hyde. I'm not stupid, you're just boring.

"Not nearly boring enough," Jekyll muttered. He yawned. "But I can't very well sleep at home."

So sleep here, under the desk or whatever.

"And what if someone comes in?"

Then change back, idiot, said Hyde, rolling his eyes. It's not like it's hard. If the door's locked, nobody's going to just come barging in with no warning.

"There's too much to be done," said Jekyll. "I can sleep—"

When the exhibition's over, God, you're like a phonograph, Hyde said, flitting into the cheval glass in order to more properly fling himself about in juvenile ennui. Why can't any of your cylinders have fun things on them, like swears?

"You're a fine one to talk, O Spirit of London at Night," Jekyll drawled. "At least I'm not pretentious."

Yes you are, said Hyde. You just bother trying to hide it.

Jekyll shook his head. "The point is, the less of the potion we use, the less likely we are to experience further side effects. Even you can't deny that."

Which is why you should sleep, said Hyde, his lip curling. Jekyll's eyes narrowed.

"And when you wake up, what will you do?" he asked.

Don't give me that, I'm in deeper shit than you are, Hyde said. It's not like I can have any fun. Not only are the peelers after me, but Lucy and the Forty Elephants said they'd come back for me. I'll stay here and play by your rules, just don't expect me to be happy about it.

"Anything you're happy about is unquestionably a bad thing," Jekyll said. "So I'll take your malaise as a reassurance."

Hah-hah, don't you have work to do?

"What, no further quips?"

I'll quip at you whenever I feel like it, Hyde said. And I don't feel like it right now.

"Hm," said Jekyll. "Maybe when the exhibition's over."

Ugh, said Hyde, and summarily evaporated.

"I shall take that as a win," Jekyll said to himself.

Unfortunately, after that, he did have to get back to work, and it was a lot less fun.

With four days left until the exhibition and less than half the necessary funding to pull it off, Jekyll was left with no choice but to continue fraternizing with wealthy potential patrons, no matter how dangerous it seemed. He carried a flask with the base tincture for the transformation and a phial with the salt, just in case he fell asleep in the carriage. He had lunch with an overbearing and tiresome old man by the name of Stride, with whom he was reduced to flirting shamelessly, and then tea with one Lady Carew, who was doddering but kind, and whose daughter (Emma) took a much firmer interest in Jekyll than he had been prepared for. In any other circumstance, he would have been delighted; as it was, he was digging his fingernails into his own thigh under the table.

"And there are women at this Society of yours?" Emma asked—demanded, really.

"Of course," said Jekyll. "We're of the opinion that inequality of the sexes would be, ah, what's the word I'm looking for, unproductive. It does no one any favors to ban half the population from making meaningful contributions."

"Ah-hah!" Emma cried, slamming her hand down on the table with considerable force. "You hear that, mother? I told you he'd be on my side!"

"Oh dear, are there sides?" Jekyll said, more to himself than anyone else.

"Emma, my dear, I've told you time and again, it's simply too dangerous for you," Lady Carew said, shaking her head. "Why, in the past week there's been both a fire and a kidnapping!"

"Those were unrelated incidents," Jekyll said, although he got the feeling that the conversation no longer included him.

"Precisely," Emma said, her eyes blazing. "I want fires, mother, I want kidnappings! It's so damnably dull round here, I shall die."

"Emma, please," Lady Carew said. "We've talked about this unladylike language, not in front of our guest—"

"Damn, damn, damn!" Emma cried. Jekyll decided he rather liked her. "I shall go to the damn Society and be a damn scientist and there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop me! You may as well fund the damn thing, mother, or else we shall both look damn silly!"

"For heaven's sake, Emma," Lady Carew said. "If you don't stop carrying on like that, I shall—"

A sudden pain lanced through Jekyll's chest, knocking his breath out. His ears filled with ringing. His flesh began to crawl.

Oh dear God, no, he thought.

"—Dr. Jekyll?" Lady Carew said, muffled. "Good heavens, sir, you've gone white as a sheet. Is something wrong?"

"Yes," he gasped. He could taste the brilliant green ichor on the back of his tongue. "Terribly sorry, I must—excuse me—"

He fled, locked himself in the next nearest room, and not a moment too soon. The transformation overtook him rapidly, leaving him curled on the floor and trembling with terror. His mind was a roaring tempest, wordless and impenetrable. This was the last straw. He was ruined. He was finished. He was trapped, there was no way out, they were going to catch him, they were going to kill him—

No, too far, it wasn't that dire yet. His hands found the flask and the phial, fumbled them out onto the floor where he could see them. He just had to mix the potion and change back. It would be all right, so long as he was quick. He just had to remain calm.

Hyde somehow managed to get the thing mixed without spilling any, despite the violence with which his hands shook. He didn't even bother to get up off the floor. He had to put his ear to the flask to determine when the potion had stopped fizzing, when it was ready. He drank it down like a man who had been lost in the desert for two days. He capped the flask and braced himself.

And nothing happened.

"No," he gasped, sick and furious, "no, God, no, not now, not now!"

Still his body refused to change. Hyde tore at his hair, beat his fist against the floor in helpless anguish. He couldn't go back to the Society—they had all seen Jekyll leave, would come looking if they heard someone moving about in his laboratory, would demand explanations he didn't have. He couldn't stay here—he would be seen, and recognized, and chased and caught and tried and hanged. His only option was the house—if he could get back into Jekyll's shape, he could invent a convincing enough story, one that meshed with what Lady Carew and Emma had seen.

With no further thought than that, he leapt to his feet and clambered out the window, onto the rooftops. He had to waste a precious minute rolling up his trouser legs when he nearly tripped on them and fell to his death. He was conspicuous in the daylight, but he would have been more conspicuous in the streets. The driver of the cab would have recognized him instantly, more likely to drive him to the police station than home. He'd make up an excuse for why he hadn't taken the cab home when he was back in Jekyll's more sober mind.

After that it was a mad dash, zig-zagging across the roofs of London. He felt every eye in the city upon him. If anyone had waylaid him, he was sure he would have killed them, such was his panic, such was his fervor. When he reached the house, he tried to get in through the laboratory window and found someone had locked it. He was inches away from smashing it in, so frayed was his composure. He still had his keys in his pocket. He forced himself to retreat, to wait and watch. He hid in the alcove by the front stairs, where he would be hidden from nearly all passers-by. When patience produced no results, he took the empty flask from his pocket and threw it at the front door as hard as he could.

Moments later, the door opened a crack and Poole poked his head out. Hyde dashed round to the back of the house, fumbling with the keys. It took six tries to get the right one in the lock. He slipped inside, closed the door as quietly as he could, crept for the laboratory. The front door closed as he was making his way up the stairs, and he abandoned all pretense of stealth, running the last ten yards. If Poole heard him, he could make excuses; if Poole saw him, the game was up.

He shut the laboratory door and darted to his cabinet. The days of constant struggle had not made him any more adept at preparing the potion in the midst of panic. He heard someone ascending the stairs. He mixed a double dose, just to be sure, just to be absolutely sure.

As he drank it down, there was a knock on the door.

"Dr. Jekyll, sir, is that you?" Poole asked.

The wracking pains seized him, and he crumpled to the floor. Somehow he managed to keep any glassware from breaking. In a moment, he was Jekyll again, curled up and panting, his heart still pounding, but safe.

"Yes," he said back. "Had to take a—a rain-check, not feeling terribly well."

"Should I come in, sir?"

"No, no, it's all right, I'll be all right in a moment," Jekyll said.

"Yes, sir," said Poole, although he did not bother to hide the distrust in his voice. Jekyll heard him go back down the stairs, and sagged until his forehead touched the floor.

"Hell," he whispered. "Oh, hell. Oh, fuck!"

This is bad, Hyde said, his voice trembling. Jekyll's head snapped up. Hyde was pacing in the cabinet glass, no less frantic than he had been moments ago.

"Bad?" Jekyll parroted, climbing to his feet. "That's the understatement of the century. This is a catastrophe! Why couldn't you leave well enough alone?"

Me? Hyde cried, rounding on him. I haven't done anything, what the hell are you blaming me for?!

"I knew there was something wrong! I told you there was something wrong, and you wouldn't listen!"

You're the one who chose to kept changing!

"Because you wouldn't shut up! You and your stupid, selfish hedonism, look at where it's gotten us! If you could have just taken a week off, if you could have just left me alone for three days running—"

I am you! Hyde roared, blooming with green fire. Everything I do, everything I feel, everything I am—you do it, you feel it, you are it!

"Liar," Jekyll hissed. "You did this to us, not me!"

Look at what you did to Rachel, Hyde snapped. Look at what you did to Jasper! You did it, you did it, not me. You're it, Jekyll. You're all there is!

He stepped forward through the flames, and they burned his form from him like it was nothing more than spider silk. Jekyll's own face stared back at him from the glass, furious, ruinous, green-eyed and cruel.

There's nobody in here but you, he said, his lip curling. There has never been anybody in here but you.

Jekyll stared at him—at himself. His jaw clenched. He lifted his chin and straightened his shoulders. Hyde mirrored his movements perfectly.

"Then I suppose there's nobody who'd object if I were to do something irreversible," Jekyll said.

I suppose not, Hyde sneered.

Jekyll picked up the wine on his desk and poured out a glass. He set the bottle down and got the key out of the carved wooden box next to it. He turned and unlocked the drawer, took out the phial of white salt. When he turned back, Hyde had resumed his habitual countenance and was lounging about like a cat.

Jekyll held his gaze as he dumped out the entirety of the phial into his wine, as he stirred it.

You're not fooling anyone, Hyde said.

"I'm not trying to," said Jekyll.

The spoon crunched against the bottom of the glass. His hands were steady.

You've wasted all of it now, said Hyde.

"It won't be wasted," said Jekyll.

He tapped the spoon against the side of the glass and set it aside. He sat down. He wrapped his hand around the glass. It was warm.

You're bluffing, Hyde said, folding his arms and regarding Jekyll through half-lidded eyes. You're not getting me with that one again. Checkmate.

Jekyll raised his eyebrows and inclined his head.

"Cheers," he said, raising his glass to Hyde.

He drank.

Hyde stared at him in open-mouthed horror. All the sparkle and shine had vanished, leaving him sodden, gray, haggard.

No, he said, horror rising like swamp water around him. No. No!

"Ruins the bouquet," Jekyll remarked. He drank again.

Stop it! Stop doing that!

"They'll say it was the stress," Jekyll said absently. His lips were tingling. "It's killed better men than me. I shall die on the shoulders of giants."

You've lost your mind! If you can't go on, then let me!

"The only thing I will let you do is die with dignity," said Jekyll. He took another long drink, wincing at the bitterness after he swallowed. "Which is better than you'd get on your own, I assure you."

God damn you Jekyll, you madman!

"Am I?" he asked sweetly. He drank again. The glass was more than half empty. "Am I a madman, Edward?"

Yes! he cried. For the love of God, stop this!

"That's precisely what I'm doing," said Jekyll. He drank the last of the wine. He set the glass down. "Who knows, it may even drive up attendance for the exhibition. Everyone loves a good suicide."

There's still time, Hyde said, desperate. Henry, please, there's still time, throw it up, or—

"Oh no, I'm afraid that won't work," said Jekyll. "Absolutely no gag reflex whatsoever, you know."

I'm sorry, Hyde said, weeping, pressed against the inside of the glass. I'm sorry, for everything, I was wrong, you were right, but there's nothing I've done that a capital offense! It's still fixable, this is all still fixable, please, God, I don't want to die!

"You're right, it is fixable," Jekyll said. "I'm fixing it right now."

Please, he begged. Henry, please.

"No," said Jekyll.

A sudden pain struck through his stomach and he winced. He was already having trouble catching his breath. With the dosage he'd used, he had fifteen, maybe twenty minutes, thirty at the outside. Hyde was sobbing, helpless, wordless, nothing left of him but fear and despair. That was all right; in half an hour, there would be nothing left of him at all. There would be nothing left of either of them.

All the toil, all the struggle, all the scrabbling at the walls—it would all simply go away. Lanyon would burn his notes, he was sure of it; better that no one know, better that his name stand pure and holy even if he had not been. The Society would bury him, would mourn him, would forget him. Science would march on. It would march on without him. The alchemy, the poetry of the old ways, the cursed miracles he had wrought and vast truths he had glimpsed, would all be lost again, their secrets snuffed out like candle flames. He would die, and it would all die with him.

He would die.

He was going to die.

"God in heaven," Jekyll whispered. "What am I doing?"

He leapt to his feet. He ripped open the top drawer of his desk. The pain struck through him again, harsher, fiercer. His vision began to blur. Clumsy hands flung papers to the floor. He had to find it, quickly, while there was still time. It would be a close-run thing, but if he was quick, if he was quick enough—

A lance pierced his abdomen and stuck there. He crumpled against the desk, gasping. It was worse even than the transformations, a thing he hadn't thought possible. His whole body convulsed. His heart raced. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't get up.

"Poole!" he screamed. The pain would not stop. He convulsed again. His head cracked against the desk. Scrabbling fingers knocked the wine glass onto the floor. It shattered. His hand found the empty phial.

The door burst open.

"Dear God!" Poole cried, rushing to his side.

Jekyll shoved the phial into his hands. He was trembling uncontrollably. His eyes wouldn't focus. The pain was consuming him, clawing up his throat red-hot.

"Lanyon," he gasped.

Poole was running before the second syllable had hit the floor. The door swung closed behind him. Another convulsion tore through Jekyll, toppling him. The pain was blinding, unbearable. His stomach was full of molten steel.

He curled into himself and prayed.

There was nothing else he could do.

#tgs #the glass scientists #fanfic #silver #End. Of. GAME. #oh boy

[hasilopgesvi]

How to Protect Yourself and Prepare for the Coronavirus

The World Health Organization has declared the coronavirus a pandemic, and the number of cases continues to rise worldwide. These basic steps can help you reduce your risk of getting sick or infecting others.Here’s what you can do:

   Stay home if you can.    Wash your hands. With soap. Then wash them again.    Stay informed.    With children, keep calm, carry on and get the flu shot.    Don’t stockpile masks.    But do stock up on groceries, medicine and resources.

The coronavirus continues to spread worldwide, with over 200,000 confirmed cases and at least 8,000 dead. In the United States, there have been at least 8,000 cases and more than 100 deaths, according to a New York Times database.

Coronavirus is here, and it’s spreading quickly. Older Americans, those with underlying health conditions Covid Live Tracker and those without a social safety net are the most vulnerable to the infection and its societal disruption.

Though life as we know it is sharply off kilter, there are measures you can take.

Most important: Do not panic. With a clear head and some simple tips, you can help reduce your risk, prepare your family and do your part to protect others. Stay home if you can. Even if you have no underlying health conditions, and no symptoms, be extra cautious to protect other people

You can do your part to help your community and the world. Do not get close to other people.

This is called “social distancing” or “physical distancing,” and is basically a call to stand far away from other people. Experts believe the coronavirus travels through droplets, so limiting your exposure to other people is a good way to protect yourself.

Avoid public transportation when possible, limit nonessential travel, work from home and skip social gatherings. Don’t go to crowded restaurants or busy gyms. You can go outside, as long as you avoid being in close contact with people.

[How to keep your distance: A guide to help you make the right decisions]

That might be hard to follow, especially for those who can’t work from home. Also, if you’re young, your personal risk is most likely low. The majority of those who contract coronavirus do not become seriously ill, and it might just feel as if you have the flu. But keeping a stiff upper lip is not only foolhardy, but will endanger those around you.

If you develop a high fever, shortness of breath or another, more serious symptom, call your doctor. (Testing for coronavirus is still inconsistent — there are not enough kits, and it’s dangerous to go into a doctor’s office and risk infecting others.) Then, check the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website and your local health department for advice about how and where to be tested.

A refresher: Wet your hands and scrub them with soap, taking care to get between your fingers and under your nails. Wash for at least 20 seconds (or about the time it takes to sing “Happy Birthday” twice), and dry. Make sure you get your thumbs, too. The C.D.C. also recommends you avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth with unwashed hands (tough one, we know).

Alcohol-based hand sanitizers, which should be rubbed in for about 20 seconds, can also work, but the gel must contain at least 60 percent alcohol. (No, Tito’s Handmade Vodka doesn’t work.)

Also, clean “high-touch” surfaces, like phones, tablets and handles. Apple recommends using 70 percent isopropyl alcohol, wiping gently. “Don’t use bleach,” the company said.

To disinfect any surface, the C.D.C. recommends wearing disposable gloves and washing hands thoroughly immediately after removing the gloves. Most household disinfectants registered by the Environmental Protection Agency will work.

Try to stand away from other people, especially if they seem sick. Wave, bow or give an elbow bump, rather than shake hands. Maybe skip the kiss on the first date. Stay informed. Knowing what is accurate can protect you and your family

There’s a lot of information flying around, and knowing what is going on will go a long way toward protecting your family.

With children, keep calm, carry on and get the flu shot. The good news is that cases in children have been very rare

Right now, there’s no reason for parents to worry, the experts say; coronavirus cases in children have been very rare.

The flu vaccine is a must, as vaccinating children is good protection for older people. And take the same precautions you would during a normal flu season: Encourage frequent hand-washing, move away from people who appear sick and get the flu shot.

As with airplanes, it’s always best to make sure your metaphorical oxygen mask is on before helping others. When talking to your children about an outbreak, make sure that you first assess their knowledge of the virus and that you process your own anxiety. It’s important that you don’t dismiss their fears and that you speak to them at an age-appropriate level.

Be sure to be in communication with your child’s school, including about early dismissals or possible online instruction. Be prepared for schools to close; many districts and universities around the world have already taken that step.

Communicating with your workplace about child-care concerns that you have is suggested as well.

If your children are stuck at home, get some games going, turn on a movie and try to make it feel a little like a vacation, at least for the first few days.

[For more information about children and the pandemic, read 9 Questions Parents May Have About Coronavirus.] Don’t stockpile masks. Unless you are already infected, face masks won’t help

Face masks have become a symbol of coronavirus, but stockpiling them might do more harm than good.

First, they don’t do much to protect you. Most surgical masks are too loose to prevent inhalation of the virus.

(Masks can help prevent the spread of a virus if you are infected. The most effective are the so-called N95 masks, which block 95 percent of very small particles.)

Second, health care workers and those caring for sick people are on the front lines. Last month, the surgeon general urged the public to stop stockpiling masks, warning that it might limit the amount of resources available to doctors, nurses and emergency professionals. But do stock up on groceries, medicine and resources. Preparation is the best way to protect your family and loved ones

Stock up on a 30-day supply of groceries, household supplies and prescriptions, just in case.

That doesn’t mean you’ll need to eat only beans and ramen. Here are tips to stock a pantry with shelf-stable and tasty foods. (Don’t forget the chocolate.)

If you take prescription medications, or are low on any over-the-counter essentials, go to the pharmacy sooner rather than later.

[meuebookansiepsico-blog]

Learn 6 Techniques To Speak Well In Public

Figuring out how you can converse nicely in general public is among the biggest obstacles for the individual. It really is no surprise that general public talking is the finest anxiety of humanity, and that incredibly overcomes the panic of demise. But what exactly is the reason for this? What's concerned in a person's head whenever they see themselves about to talk in public? Public talking is often a gift or it is actually feasible for anybody to attain.

Essentially the most introverted or timid ones will have to undoubtedly obtain on their own the worst beings on the facial area with the earth since (they believe) they will never ever have the ability to converse in public. But even those that are talkers also conclusion up suffering some kind of fear when they need to speak with many people with the very same time.   Given that we've been little we are discouraged to talk before other individuals. As age developments, some time comes when it gets to be a necessity or an obligation, similar to schoolwork. It's possible that you simply manufactured an work to generate one of the most uninhibited men and women the undertaking of talking inside of a presentation. Are aware that this ease has damage you in excess of helped. Men and women that are better prepared to communicate well in general public tend to be those who teach quite possibly the most. As a result, it's not at all reward, it truly is training, enhancement. Stop by como falar bem em publico

Failure to speak in general public can have unfavorable repercussions for any person, no matter whether during the private area or from the experienced discipline. Noises or poor expression when communicating can interfere with friendships or reduce a sale. In equally experienced and private fields, accomplishment could be a shorter route when there is the power to speak properly in community. As well as in individuals moments you might want to display security and self-control.

So listed here are six ideas to mirror and use in pursuit from the potential to speak very well in public after which probably increase the chances of success by conversation.   one. Battle the symptoms of dread before speaking in public

Initial you might have to determine the signals that are associated to this panic and that can happen before you decide to even start to communicate in general public. As an example: - Shaking hands - Stress; - Accelerated pulse - Extreme sweating - Tension; - Deviance of thinking at do the job just because that you are thinking of the presentation you can make;   Right here the indications of the human body might be much more evident and issue to an emotional disturbance. Should the individual during the function perceives these indicators he must endeavor to regulate them to ensure they do not improve. But ahead of the function you can adopt a technique of advertising calm as a result of tunes that relax and take a look at to distinct away the extreme thoughts about what you are going to say and for whom.   2. Examine perfectly and master the topic that should be dealt with

Your audience will area much more rely on in you the more you demonstrate mastery over what you are discussing. This produces a relationship of respect and a focus. Your self-confidence in addressing the subject may even be considered a solid ingredient inside your general performance. Over the other hand, talking about a matter with no dominating it only increases the insecurity that demonstrates while in the feelings of individuals who ought to communicate by making a constant perception of fear in building mistakes. So study and examine this very well and also seek to foresee attainable thoughts. Study them, way too. Go to us at como falar em publico   3. Get over the start that may be normally the worst of times for the people who will be scared

For the meeting, team dynamics or lecture the beginning ordinarily is generally by far the most complex. For that reason, the approach is always to work to overcome this barrier then start soon.

Just after you have been chatting for about 10 minutes, you are likely to obtain used to your circumstance towards the place of loosing extra during the relaxation of your event. So put together your brain to know that after a jiffy every little thing will make improvements to.   4. Intelligently discover the attributes of the presentation

Sources that could add to reinforce the outcome within your presentation: Microphone, slides, dynamics, handouts and so one. Human memory includes a mother nature of forgetting what has actually been learned in just some times. However it is achievable to better safe this learning by means of the usage of multimedia sources. But usually do not let people functions go ahead and take better interest in the presentation. Make certain they only potentiate the information.   five. Enrich your speech with images

Illustrations or photos converse greater than many, many, words and phrases. The idea is always to enrich (but prevent abusing) the usage of sources with photographs (video clips, pictures, sites, stories, authentic conditions, graphics, and so forth.) that illustrate the topic. This can make the subject a lot more peaceful and straightforward both equally to clarify and to have an understanding of.   six. Discover viewers interactivity

Deliver the audience for you by sharing your interest with various people today in the course of your speech. This may create greater community participation and likewise make persons much more conscious. Therefore, endeavor to foster interactivity, asking concerns or undertaking dynamics like a way to stimulate participation. Eventually, understanding tips on how to communicate very well in public is one of the techniques that the industry needs. In particular now, when speaking with significant groups of purchasers and qualified partners - each bodily and by electronic indicates - is ever more frequent many thanks to technological and interaction development.

And now, that you simply now know of our strategies and strategies, how about browsing  https://persuadirparavender.com/6-tips-to-speak-well-in-public-2/ ?