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#He is a bit of a count but he is genuinely really caring guy who really takes his job seriously
scribe-of-hael · 9 months
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"Don't touch my BLOODY engine room!"
Meet the ReWire! Head engineer for the Defiance!
The Defiance is a ship Captained by Growlwire. Rewire is one of many main crew members I have made with my Partner Common-Evils !
Rewire was first set to the Defiance for his terrible "team work skills" . He a engineer specialist and mostly got in trouble for doing fine tuning thibg when not asked or calling out orders when the head engineers would neglect them.
He has a "Fuck off" attitude but when you get to know his humor and banter , you know that's just how he is. It makes even more sense when I Headcanon him with a Australian Accent.
He very much is a workaholic. Keeping the ship in the best shape it can be and always combat ready. If he's not in the engine room he's scurring around the piping, panels , command center or even in the vents fixing and checking things over. He doesn't particularly like other people helping him or touching his work.
His alt mode is a generator , using himself as a back up to keep the ship online incase anything were to happen. Meaning he also can't traverse like his his crewmates and is significantly smaller than them all. Despite this he has made augments and upgrades to keep up with the crew. including weapons and a mobility pack that can fly and keep up with high speeds.
Depsite his size Rewire is given the upmost respect like everyone eles and is treated as very much an equal among his friends.
He later after the war gets a Conjunx named Lancer who is a Deer maximal !
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mrsbarnesblog · 8 months
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I trust you
masterlist ko-fi ao3
Summary: when Bucky comes back from a mission with a knife wound there is only one person who can convince him to get help.
Words count: 3.5k
Warnings: angst and fluff, injury, wounds, low self-esteem, bucky has trust issues and needs a hug, touch starved bucky,
Author’s note: ugh just let me hold my baby and kiss his cute sad face omggg... anyways, idk why I rarely write angsty things, I really wanna do something new, so if you have any ideas let me know! 💘
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It was almost eight o'clock in the evening when FRIDAY reported that the guys' quinjet should arrive at the compound within an hour.
Steve, Sam, and Bucky went on another mission to destroy HYDRA almost two weeks ago. As usual, none of you could get any news from them because they couldn't risk giving away their whereabouts.
It was foolish to assume that you weren't worried about them. Especially for one person. Bucky.
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You and the former Winter Soldier met about six months ago when Steve and Sam first brought him to the tower. Steve was really worried about his old best friend, so before bringing Bucky to the tower, he talked with the team and asked all of you to give Bucky space.
Of course, you knew who he was from the day Steve found out that Bucky was alive. You have seen hundreds of reports and photographs on TV and on the Internet about The Winter Soldier, a ruthless killer who was always invisible but too damn good at his missions. He is the man who was turned into a weapon against his will.
When Steve introduced him, the whole team just nodded and shared awkward smiles, and Bucky himself kept his eyes on the ground. The whole situation was too intense, and no one, not even the funny and sarcastic Tony Stark, knew what to do or say. You actually thought that it might be rude to just stand there and look at him, as if he was a wild animal. Looking at this shy and uncomfortable-looking man before you, you knew that the smallest thing you could get him was to show that he was welcomed in this tower and that everyone was on his side. So, pushing away your own shyness and nerves, you stepped forward, holding out your right hand.
"Hi, my name is Y/N.  It's nice to meet you. I hope you’ll feel comfortable around here." You offered your warmest and most sincere smile, trying not to show nervousness.
Bucky slowly raised his head, genuinely surprised that anyone else had actually spoken to him besides Steve. It's nice to meet you. When had he heard those words for the last time?
Your eyes met, and you could have sworn all the air was out of your lungs. His eyes were even more beautiful than in those rare, high-quality photographs. He looked truly beautiful, with long hair and blue eyes, even though you could see that he was tired—physically and even more emotionally. You stood for what seemed like an eternity, looking at each other's faces, until Bucky got a little nudge from Steve on the arm.
Only then did his gaze move to your still outstretched arm. He hesitated a bit, unsure if he wanted to be touched or feel someone’s warm skin. It’s been too long since another person wanted to touch him without causing any harm. Even Steve gave him minimal physical contact. Always through the gloves or thick jacket, and Bucky didn’t know the true reason for this—whether it was because Steve cared about his feelings or he just didn't want to do that. But then Bucky looked at you again, and he already knew that you would be his death.
You were so beautiful. Probably the most attractive person he has ever seen. It was still morning, and he assumed that you planned to have a day for yourself because you had no makeup, your hair was a little bit messy, and you looked really comfy in a big sweater and a pair of black leggings. Oh, and he definitely noticed your cute, fluffy pink socks. Your eyes were full of friendliness and comfort, so it made him want to trust you. Your lips curled into a warm smile, and he had no doubt that you wanted to make him feel comfortable on the team.
Bucky lifted the corners of his lips slightly, meeting your eyes again, and held out his right hand to you, still feeling awkward. Especially when the whole team around you watches your interaction too closely.
 "Hi."
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When the Quinjet landed on the territory, you couldn't calm your pounding heart. Natasha, who was standing a couple of steps away from you, of course, noticed your condition but didn’t say anything and just sent you a reassuring smile. She knew you'd calm down when Bucky was by your side.
Sam got out first. He looked tired, had a couple of scratches and bruises, but was generally fine.
"Sam!  God, I'm glad you're okay." You said, running closer to him. "How is Bucky? And Steve? Are they okay?" Your worried eyes ran across his face, trying to find answers, but he only pursed his lips and lowered his eyes to the ground.
"Steve’s fine, and Bucky, um... I think you should see it yourself. And I think you need to have a serious talk with this idiot because he doesn't listen to us." Your brows furrowed, but before you could ask anything else, footsteps and stifled moans were heard behind Sam.
It felt like your heart stopped as soon as you saw him. Blood flowed from his temple and lip, and an already darkening bruise adorned his right cheekbone. Your eyes rushed down, trying to find all the damage, and then you saw it. Bucky kept his right hand on his left side. His entire palm was scarlet red as the blood passed through his thick suit and soaked through his fingers. Your mouth opened involuntarily, and your eyes instantly filled with tears.
Of course, this was not his first mission, but he always returned almost without any injuries or with something that quickly healed because of his supersoldier serum. It has never been so bad.
Before you knew it, you were already standing next to him. Tears flowed freely down your face, and you raised your hands up, wanting to touch him, but they froze in the air.
 "Bucky…" You sobbed, looking straight into his eyes.
 "Hello, doll" He smiled reassuringly at you, but you saw how he pressed his teeth together to ease the pain. He didn’t want to scare you.
"Bucky, God, wh-what happened? You need to go to the hospital wing. You’re losing a lot of blood!" You gently took his metal hand, but before you could lead him away, he removed it and moved away a little.
"It's all right, doll.  Nothing that I can't handle on my own. Trust me, I’ve experienced worse."
"Buck, Y/N is right." You notice Steve for the first time because all your attention has been focused on Bucky since he appeared. "That punk cut you pretty deep; it needs to be stitched up."
"You know, I never go to the hospital wing." He purses his lips awkwardly, looking down.
Of course. Of course you knew it. Everyone in the tower knew that the Winter Soldier didn't like being touched or visiting doctors, and he had never asked for any kind of help. He always limited himself to a short handshake or a pat on the back from his best friend.
But you also knew that Bucky couldn't take off his clothes in front of anyone. Too many scars from bullets, knives, and other things that HYDRA used to torture him He confessed this to you one evening when you were sitting in the dark in the common room after his nightmare.
In those six months, you got close enough to him that he trusted you to sit with him in the stillness of the night and share his fears. But he still avoided touching and, of course, did not want to show his body to anyone. Even you. Especially to you.
You were one of the few good things in his life. Someone who genuinely wanted to spend time with him, who wasn’t afraid of him, and who was always kind and supportive. Bucky didn't want to lose you. And he knew that if you ever saw him with those ugly marks all over his body, you would run away without looking back. Because who would like it?
The hand that took hundreds of lives. The hand that was forever connected to his body left a big reminder that he was, in fact, just an experiment that went too well. He often looked at his shoulder in the mirror with anger and despair, wanting to get rid of this mixture of scars and torn skin. Obviously, when HYDRA put that prosthetic on him, they didn't care much about looks or pain, so they just hooked it on the way they did.
"Bucky, please listen to me." You sobbed, moving closer to him again. "I know you're afraid to go there, but please, you have to do it, otherwise, you'll lose too much blood or just get an infection." You hugged yourself with your hands as your body began to tremble with concern for the person in front of you. "It can leave a big scar." You whispered and saw that Bucky’s jaw clenched again. You didn’t want him to think that there was something wrong with having scars, but you knew that it was emotionally too hard for him to deal with them.
"I'm sorry, doll, but I can't," he pursed his lips, shaking his head, "you know I can't do it."
"Bucky…" you whispered as more tears started flooding your face. You were so focused on Bucky that you didn't even pay attention to your friends, who stood aside and pretended not to eavesdrop on your conversation.
"Don't cry because of me, doll, please, you don't have to cry." Bucky's voice lowered to a whisper as he worked up the courage to use his thumb to wipe a tear from your right cheek with a metal finger.
You took advantage of the opportunity, grabbing his metal wrist and pressing his hand closer against your cheek.
 "Please, Bucky. Then let's go to your room. I can help you if you don't want to undress there.
"I don't think it's a good idea either, doll.  You don't need to see it."
"James," you focused on his eyes, rubbing small circles with your thumb into his wrist, "it'll be alright, I promise. I'm not afraid of you. I won’t leave. I'll take care of you. Please do it for me."
You were hurt by his gaze. You've seen a thousand thoughts go through that head. Doubt, fear, uncertainty, and pain. He couldn't lose you. Couldn't lose what you had. Even if he wanted so much more, he was content just being around you. He couldn't lose you to a damn ugly piece of metal attached to him.
But you looked at him like your life depended on it. Tears were still running down your cheeks. You were hurt because of him. But you refused to give up and let his self-doubt win this fight. You continued to gently massage his metal wrist as you placed a light kiss on it. And he could no longer resist you.
"Fine."
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"It's better if we do this in the bathroom," you said as you closed the door to Bucky's room behind you. You quickly walked past him, going into the bathroom and pulling out the first aid kit you knew was in the bottom drawer. You felt comfortable being a little bit bossy here, and Bucky didn’t mind it.
He quietly followed you, watching you with an unsure face. His blood was still soaking through his arm, but that didn't bother him as much as the fact that he'd have to undress in front of you and that at some point you would touch him.
Once all the necessary things were ready, you turned to face Bucky, already preparing to help him out. But as soon as your hands went up to help him unbuckle his suit, he staggered back, and you froze with your hands in the air. For a few seconds, you silently looked into each other's eyes, then you moved, trying to understand his reaction, and what you saw made your heart ache.
His brows were slightly furrowed, and the corners of his lips were turned down. His eyes always told you everything that he tried to hide, and right now they told you how scared and insecure Bucky actually was.
"I don't think I can do it." Bucky whispered softly, casting his eyes down in shame.
"Hey James, look at me," you said, taking his face in your hands. "I'm your friend, you know? I won't hurt you. I won’t judge you. I won't do anything against your will. But I need to help you because I can see how much pain you're in," you sighed, running your fingers over his cheekbones. "I know it's hard. And I know you're scared or shy, but I'm here for you. None of this scares me, and I'll be as gentle with you as I can, okay? You can tell me if it becomes too much, and I'll stop. I promise."  You could see the tears forming in his eyes, and you couldn't help feeling the pain that this beautiful man in front of you had been without care and affection for so long.
Bucky nodded slightly, giving you permission to continue.
"I’ll clean up your wound on the ribs, and then we can take care of your face." You carefully removed your hands from his, now placing them on the clasps of his suit. You opened them one by one, and when you finally got to the last one, you helped Bucky carefully remove that piece of clothing. Next on the way was a stretchy long-sleeve shirt, and by glancing at the wound, you could see that all the tissue around it was completely covered in blood.
"So, now I'm going to carefully lift up the shirt so you can take it off and not bother your wound too much, okay?" you asked, running your eyes over Bucky's face to understand his emotions. He took a deep breath, as if preparing for the worst, but nodded anyway.
You started to slowly lift up his shirt, helping Bucky pull his hands out one by one, and then tossed that no longer needed rag into the bathtub.
"Oh god," you muttered softly, looking at the wound that seemed to be even bigger now.
Bucky thought that you said it about his appearance in general, so he lifted his head up to the ceiling to stop angry tears from falling.
Come on, Buck, we need to sew this up so it doesn't leave a scar. Do you think you can sit on the counter next to the sink?" You looked at Bucky, but you couldn't meet his eyes. You knew that he was at the edge, his body trembled a little bit, but he still listened to you and silently jumped up on the free space near the sink.
"Bucky," you said quietly, trying to be as gentle as you could. "I see you right now, and I’m not going anywhere, you hear me?" You put your hand back on his face, making him meet your eyes. Before you could think, you placed your right hand on his chest, causing his eyes to instantly widen in surprise. His skin was very warm and silky, even though there were a lot of scars from different conditions. You gently moved your hand, showing Bucky that you’re not afraid, that you’re not a threat, and that he can trust you. "You're doing well, it’s okay," you said as you started rubbing soothing circles on his shoulder.
You backed off a little, finally picking up all the necessary things, and began to sanitize and then stitch up the wound. Every time you needed to put your hand on your skin, you felt Bucky instantly tense under your touch, but you tried to send him quiet words of encouragement and praise. Bucky was very quiet, not making a sound even when the needle pierced his skin. His face wasn’t in bad condition, and Super Soldier serum almost healed them, so you decided to only sanitize and clean his skin.
"Well, you did a great job, James. I'm proud of you." About twenty minutes later, you finally tied the bandage and began to put everything back in the drawer, but then felt a touch on your arm.
You looked back at Bucky, only to meet tear-filled eyes.
"No one has ever taken care of me in a long time, Y/N." You stepped closer to Bucky again, unconsciously placing your hands on his shoulders. "I feel ashamed of my body. Of that arm. I didn't want you to see those ugly scars. God, this is so pathetic—"
"Don't say that," you interrupted him. "That's not pathetic. I understand how you feel. That you have so many negative thoughts about yourself. But Bucky… God, I don't know how to properly say it." You paused for a moment, considering the words. "You're one of the most amazing people I know. And even if many people in the tower are scared or intimidated by you, for me, you are the sweetest, most caring, and most generous person. You remember every little thing I say, make me coffee and food when I'm too busy, pretend to like those shitty movies that I make you watch with me. I'm so sorry that so many bad things happened to such a good person that you feel unworthy of good things."
Suddenly, strong arms surrounded you, and you realized that Bucky was hugging you with arms wrapping around your waist. He nuzzled up to your neck, and you could feel light sobs. Gently, you entangled your fingers in his hair, massaging the scalp with calming movements.
"I don't deserve you, doll." Bucky pulled back a little, still keeping his hands on your waist. "I wish I could be normal for you. Be who I was back in the 40s. I would’ve asked you out and given you everything that you deserved. But that person is not here any more, and I'm not worthy of you."
He wanted to ask you out on a date?  Your heart stopped as soon as the words left his mouth, and you stared at Bucky in surprise. "Bucky—"
"I know…fuck—I shouldn't have said that. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm sorry, doll. I didn't mean to mess anything up between us, I promise. I know you don't feel the same— it's okay, really. Just forget about—"
You didn't let Bucky finish by leaning forward and brushing your lips against his. His flesh automatically tangled in the hair at the back of your neck as the metal one tightened his grip on your waist. For the first few seconds, Bucky was in shock, not kissing you back, but just as you wanted to pull away, his lips began to move, taking over you immediately.
It was the best kiss you ever had. He was gentle yet so passionate. There were a lot of unsaid feelings that Bucky kept to himself for too long. All thoughts seemed to have left your head as the feeling of him filled your whole body.
When there was not enough air, you moved away from each other, touching your foreheads with your eyes closed.
"Fuck" was the first thing he said.
"Yeah," you laughed, finally meeting Bucky's eyes. He looked at you with such adoration that you felt butterflies in your stomach. You just noticed how much skin-to-skin contact you had. "Are you okay with that? Doesn't that make you uncomfortable?" You tilted your head as your hands squeezed his shoulders.
"That's... that's weird. I'm not used to that kind of contact," Bucky said, studying your face. "But I trust you, doll. You are the only person I trust completely." You felt him begin to gently run his hand along your back. "I'd like to ask you out on a date. I mean, if you want to. If not, I totally understand—"
You interrupted him again, leaving a quick kiss on his lips. "I'd like to go on a date with you, James. You know, you’re so cute when you’re shy?"
You've never seen his face so lit up with happiness, with a little bit of pink on his cheeks. Butterflies began to beat in your stomach again, and you realized that it was you who made him feel that way.
"Do you want to go to bed, put on some shitty comedy, and grab some food? I still have to watch over your injury."
"Sounds like a perfect plan, doll." Bucky kissed you on the forehead, interlacing his fingers with you, and led you to his room.
Even if it still required a lot of work, cuddling with Bucky, you knew it was the best place you could be.
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fifthnailinstevesbat · 2 months
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after the events of season 4, steve just wanting SO BADLY to be friends with eddie. just LOVING the idea of them getting closer and having eddie as a friend because hell yeah! a close male friendship with someone that is actually my age, and who i don’t have a weird history with involving bruised eyes and love triangles? count me IN! and eddie is FUN, he is actually hilarious! the way they share the same glances of understanding when dustin is being an absolute shit head, rambling on and on about some obscure topic, expecting everyone to always be on the exact same page as him. of course. and, although steve suspects that eddie actually probably is keeping up with everything dustin says, much better than he ever could, he knows that above it all eddie can appreciate the antics for what they are, and roll his eyes with steve at dustin, i concur, you dustin henderson, are a total butthead.
steve just about junps RIGHT IN to being friends with eddie. hey man, what’cha up to tonight? wanna watch a movie? get drunk, smoke a bit? hey eddie, how have you been, man? he starts calling eddie up on the phone regularly just to check in, shoot the shit, he loves it! he loves having this new friendship with eddie munson and he loves how much the other boy has surprised him with how much he actually enjoys being around him. he’s not a freak, really, well ok maybe he is a little bit, but only in the best ways. he’s kind, thoughtful, and is always looking out for the people he cares about, which is something steve can really respect in a dude. but he’s also so funny? steve never could’ve anticipated just how much eddie has managed to make him genuinely LAUGH over their short amount of time spent together. and he’s really, out there? with the way he presents himself, the way he takes up space with these big THEATRICAL movements, leaving no room for regret or shame or god forbid embarrassment. steve isn’t even sure munson is capable of feeling it at all.
eddie munson is a good dude, and steve could use a bit more of that kind of person around him. he loves all of his friends, the weird little bonded family he’s found himself apart of, and they are all good people, but it never hurts to have afew more added in here and there. it never hurts to know there are more good people out there to find.
so steve is all over eddie, it seems.
at least, from where eddie is standing. nobody else seems as phased as eddie does at this sudden change in steve’s demeanour, in his interest in what eddie munson spends his time doing these days. it seems like, to everyone else, to steve, it’s just a natural progression in their relationship, after being sort of role model figures to the same group of kids, both being the two single dudes, who fought the same monsters together last spring, it seems nobody questions too much that they’d start casually hanging around eachother more. especially since eddie has found himself to fit into his own special spot as one of the group now after it all, after he unwillingly became tangled in this whole upsidedown-superpowers-supernatural-monsters and demons debacle, and tangled quite dramatically at that, the rest of the group that’s been with this since the beginning seemed to find no trouble in taking him in and seeing him as “one of them” now.
so, steve asking eddie to smoke, to watch movies, to go for a drive with no real end destination, it’s not really something that earns them too many double takes. dustin makes a comment or two in the beginning, because steve since when did you like hanging out with eddie? you guys are like so opposite, you don’t like any of the same stuff he does? and steve barely gives a shrug and a dismissive yeah yeah whatever man in response, with a signature eye roll, and dustin had said it seemingly also not too seriously, poking fun at steve wherever he can, not really meaning anything by it, as he fidgets around and rambles in the backseat of steve’s car, eddie riding up front. after that, though, he’s dropped it. it’s never brought up again. part of eddie thinks, too, that dustin would actually be enjoying that his two older friends are becoming friends themselves.
robin seems to be the only other person to look a bit harder at their situation, lingering stares at their interactions, all squinted eyes and eyebrows raised, though from her all this seems to be almost always and only ever directed at steve. eddie’s not sure what to make of that. isn’t he the weird one? i mean, he’s the one that stands out, right? he’s the odd denominator that makes their friendship strange. why would steve harrington want to hang out with Him? HIM? but robin doesn’t spend her time studying eddie to try and search for what about him could possibly have piqued the interest of cherished steven harrington, no, shes always looking at steve. like she’s seeing him differently, almost. eddie doesn’t even think that steve notices it, either, because he doesn’t seem to be questioning or doubting anything odd or strange or out of the ordinary with their newfound time spent together. and maybe, maybe robin is seeing him differently. eddie knows he definitely has been. seeing him more, intensely. deeply. human. seeing the person that steve is, as just steve, not this idealised version of a boy that eddies starting to question ever really even existed at all, or if everyone around him just needed to believe that he did, and who was steve if not happy to comply to the wants of the people around him for who he should be?
eddie likes having steve as his friend, too. don’t get it twisted. he loves how unexpectedly expressive steve is about everything, even really small things. steve LOVES to raise his voice, rest a hand on his popped hip, scolding the kids for something stupid with no real heat or malice behind it. and steve is, like, kinda bitchy too. eddie knew he had the capacity to be a real asshole when he wanted to be, that’s all he knew steve for back in the day, when he was back in high school, hanging around tommy h and the basketball boys, the jocks. eddie would spend his days hearing only whispers and gossip in the hallways of the parties at king steve’s house and the fights king steve had started and won on the court or out in the fields, only ever getting as close as a shove into a locker with the guy at the time, but eddie knew how it could go. he knew all about what steve had done to jonathan, what he’d said to him, the words he’d used. eddie knew it all. he’d seen enough, and been through enough himself, to know how these guys acted in response to guys like him, like jonathan, people who were lower on the social food chain. so, eddie knew about steve’s “mean streak”, if you will, but this kind of snarky bitchiness was something new to him. harrington was almost, sassy, when he wanted to be. it was less so cruel and more just, just sass. if he’s being completely honest it kind of blew eddie away, at first. he thought steve was one of those dull headed jocks who thought with their fists more than their actual brains, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. steve’s insults were well thought out, they were FUNNY, he was smart with his words. and silly. oh my god steve harrington could be so fucking silly, real honest to god goofball when the moment called for it, when he felt comfortable enough. eddie had caught on multiple occasions steve mimicking lightsabers to play fight with dustin, or the stupid fucking shit he would do or say just to make robin laugh, singing along to a song playing on the radio with a funny voice.
it was all a little, intoxicating, to watch. eddie didn’t know what gave him the right to be in on this now, to get to see this side of steve and better yet to be at the other end of some of his best qualities. it was fun, all the time they spent together, but there was always something else tugging inside eddie everytime they spent close time together, too. something, he knew steve wasn’t aware of. something he knew steve wasn’t equipped to deal with. something he knew, was him. was him, making things something more than they should be, because, nobody seemed to be questioning that they could become friends, so why ruin that? why disrupt it?
- robin and steve
“Steve.”
“-but then like, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it I just thought, hey, y’know, let’s try something different for a change, but then he- oh my god he honest to god TACKLED ME Robin — I mean, it was so fucking funny and it happened so quick — and all over a fucking Tom Cruise movie-“
“STEVE.” Robin lightly slammed a hand onto the counter. She had been standing behind it for no short of 20 minutes, watching Steve as he paced around, supposed to be stacking tapes onto shelves, but ended up spending the whole time going on and on, and ON, about how movie night went with Eddie last night. She thought she was bad…
Steve jumped, almost running into a shelf and knocking down his hard work, and seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had found himself in after starting to tell Robin a story about something funny Eddie had done last night.
“Shit, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying? Were you- were you saying something?”
To this, Robin just rolls her eyes and let’s out a laugh, “You, sir, are goddamn hopeless.”
“Sorry. How long was I talking for?” Steve wandered his way over to lean his arms onto the counter from the opposite side.
“Oh, I dunno Steve, just about half an HOUR?”
“That is an over exaggeration Robin, it’s only been like-“
“Honestly, man, i’m concerned for you. You are like next level OBSESSED with Eddie. Eddie Munson. You do realise this right??? You are obsessed with him, Steve.”
To this Steve sputters, lazily waving his hands back and forth.
“No, Robin, what the hell are you talking about? I am not OBSESSED. No need to be jealous, alright, Stevie-Boy here can have more than one friend. Your spot in my heart isn’t any less special now that it’s beginning to be shared by another.” He bats his eyelashes up at her, holding both hands over his chest as if to cradle his heart.
“Oh my GOD! You even SOUND LIKE HIM!”, she playfully slaps his shoulder. “Steve. You are obsessed.”
“I am not obsessed! He’s just a really great guy, alright-“
“Blah blah, yep whatever you say, lover boy.” Robin quips, plopping down onto the chair chair infront of their staff computer, turning herself to face it.
“Wha- what? Lover boy? What the hell Robin, that is not- that doesn’t even make any sense!”
She is just smiling at him now, enjoying seeing him spiral like this. Steve let’s out a sigh as he puts his hands on his hips, and shakes his head, looking at her right back.
He opens and closes his mouth afew times, like he’s really thinking about what he wants to say next. Or like he has no idea what to say next, and his brain is not moving fast enough to formulate the next sentence his mouth knows he wants to say. He wasn’t obsessed. That’s not- that’s like- no. No he was not, Robin was just playing around with him, she knew how to get on his nerves. Get him all wound up over little things just to see him react like this.
After a minute or two, Robin realises Steve was not going to reply anytime soon, so she turns fully back toward him. Saving him from his spiral.
“So, what are you’re plans for tonight Steve-O?”
He lets out a chuckle and walks around the counter till he’s behind it with Robin, leaning his back against it so he can stand across from her and face her.
“Well, not really sure. Parents aren’t home, no early shift tomorrow, might drink afew beers, listen to some music, —“
“See what Eddie’s doin?” Robin finishes for him, quirking her eyebrows up and down as she does it.
“Oh shut up!” Steve just laughs and softly throws a tape from the counter at her chest. “As a matter of fact, yeah I will see what he’s up to. Because we are friends now, Robin. Is that a problem? Actually I was also gonna ask you what you were up to after work, too, but you know what after this I’m having second thoughts, I mean, the way you’ve been treating me lately-“
“Oh my god, you are the worst. Yes, I’m free, of course I’ll hang out with you dingus. You and your tweedle dee.”
Steve laughs at this, then tilts his head.
“Wait, does that make me dumb? Tweedle dumb?! That’s how you see me?”
“Yeah it is actually, got a problem?”
“Oh wow, she’s feisty today. Can’t believe you think I’m dumb, Rob’s. When you come knockin’ tonight, do not expect a warm greeting at my front door.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take my chances.”
- later. steve’s house. to be continued?
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bloatedandalone04 · 9 months
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It Can’t Be That Bad - Part 2
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➪the one where bradley fixes his mistake.
Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, smut, unprotected sex, hair pulling, once again a pain kink, arguments, fighting, descriptions of injuries, jake and bradley brawl for quick a minute, bradley being whipped for you, age gap, oral (f receiving), body worship, alcohol consumption
Word Count: 9.6k | Part 1, Part 3, Part 4
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡
The Bronco was barely in park before Bradley was pulling out the keys and swinging the door open. He stuffs them into his pocket, along with his phone and wallet, as he enters the Hard Deck, his free hand fumbling to take off his aviators. His eyes scan the busy bar, looking for any glimpse of you.
After a full sweep of the room, he spots you over by the bar, phone in hand and a smile on your face that was so clearly forced, Bradley felt his heart clench at the sight of it. He stopped short of reaching you when he clued in to the person next to you, the man being the same one who introduced you to him in the first place. “Fucking Hangman,” he muttered under his breath when he saw the way Jake inched closer to you.
You were sitting on a stool while Jake loomed over you, both of you holding a beer in your hands. From Bradley’s point of view, you and Jake looked like a couple who were having a hard time trying not to jump each other’s bones right here and now, and an ugly feeling began creeping up his throat. 
Bradley supposed that was what you and he looked like when you ventured out to the bar together, back before he fucked up and stupidly let you go. 
That was the nice way of putting it. 
He rejected you. You gave him your heart and he threw it back at you without a second thought. He pushed you away without thinking about how it would make you feel, despite him feeling the exact same way, perhaps even stronger. 
Just the sight of you had all the air leaving his lungs. You are so beautiful and so caring and genuine to those around you. How could he ever let you believe you weren’t good enough for him? 
The last six weeks were ones he never wanted to experience ever again. He hated having no one to come home to, and he hated how it could’ve easily been you waiting on that dock for him, had he returned your feelings. The next time he was deployed, he desperately wanted you to be there for him when he got back. He wanted to come home to you. 
Without really having a plan in mind, Bradley made his way over to the bar, the crowded space making it a bit tough. He was a big guy, though, and used it to his advantage on the rare occasions when he felt he needed to. Like right now. 
He pushed past Bob, who had moved to greet him, but Bradley just gave him a quick pat on the back as he passed him. When he was a few feet away, he met Jake’s eyes and watched as he leaned down towards you.
Before Jake could give you the warning that he was right behind you, Bradley closed the distance and moved to stand on the other side of you. “Y/n,” he said, nearly breathless at being near you again after six weeks without you. 
You stiffen and glance over at him before turning to Jake and glaring at him. “Thanks for the warning,” you mutter and Jake just held his hands up in defense, making no move to walk away and give you some alone time with Bradley, like he so desperately wanted. 
“Hey, I tried,” he defended himself, reaching over and grabbing his bottle of beer. “Rooster’s fast when he needs to be, I guess.”
“Y/n,” Bradley said again and ignored Jake as he brought your attention back to him, refraining from placing his hand on the small of your back like he always did when you were beside him at the bar. “Can we talk, please?”
You looked up at him with a near-blank expression before sighing, running the tip of your index finger around the rim of the bottle in front of you. “I don’t think we need to, Bradley,” you answered and he furrowed his brows.
“Why not?” He asked, shaking his head slightly when you began to stand up. “You said we’d-”
“I didn’t,” you cut him off as you stepped backwards and towards Jake, who just placed his hand on your hip, surely knowing it would make Bradley see red. “I said I’d see you tonight, not that I would talk to you. I didn’t come here with you, Bradley, so there’s no reason I need to talk to you.”
Your words felt like a punch directly to his heart, and he just stared at you when Jake guided you away from the bar and towards the pool tables. He stayed still, his eyes burning a hole in the back of Jake’s head as the man showed off just how good he was at the game.
“Hey, Rooster,” Penny’s kind voice said from beside him. “Want your usual?”
But Bradley just shook his head, never tearing his eyes away from the scene in front of him. Fucking. Hangman. “Not tonight,” he answered as Jake pulled you into his side, mirroring the way Bradley did just six weeks prior. “Give me something stronger.”
Six shots and two beers later, and Bradley was just now starting to feel the effects of the alcohol in his system. He wasn’t planning on drinking much tonight, not when he was so sure he’d actually get the chance to explain himself. But you had been glued to Jake all night, similar to the way you used to be before he introduced you to Bradley and you then became attached to his hip, instead. 
And Bradley just watched. He felt like just another guy at the bar who was jealous of someone else’s relationship. Is this how the other men who frequented the Hard Deck felt when they saw you and Bradley all over each other? 
Was he seriously just another guy?
That’s exactly what he felt like as he sipped on his beer, glaring at the way Jake’s hand slowly but surely inched further down your back. He bit back a disapproving grunt, knowing Jake had to be doing this just to rile him up.
He introduced you as his friend, and now that you weren’t associated with Bradley anymore, Jake was suddenly all over you? 
He felt a sick feeling creeping up his throat as he thought about all the times Jake had taken you to the Hard Deck and acted like how he currently is now with you while Bradley was deployed. 
He assumed it had been more than once at this point, because no one seemed too fazed by the pair of you and seemed to have forgotten that it had been Bradley with you for nearly six months straight. 
He knew he didn’t have the right to be jealous, but he was. 
He hated the fact that you could’ve so easily been with him right now since you had made it clear that you were willing to wait for him because you were falling for him.
God, he had never felt this pathetic in all his years of life. He was a mere few weeks away from turning thirty five and he had shut down the one girl he could actually picture himself settling down with, and now he was drinking alone at a bar, staring at said girl as if he didn’t already have his chance with her. 
Nat had shown up at some point and tried to get him to talk to her, but he just gave her short answers and didn’t hold any conversations. She grew even more frustrated with him and ended up leaving her spot next to him so she could throw darts with Fanboy. 
Bradley had just finished off his third beer when he saw Jake lean down to press his lips to the spot behind your ear, making you laugh quietly as you as you playfully pushed him away.
Yeah, he’s seen enough. 
Bradley threw a few twenties on the bar before standing up from the stool, his body swaying at the sudden movement. He stumbled his way over to you, ignoring the flash of dread that covered your face as he wrapped his fingers around your wrist. “We need to talk,” he said sternly, keeping his eyes on you and pulling you away from Jake. 
“Why? Are you looking for another night of just fun?” You asked as you pulled your arm from his grip once you were standing on the deck outside. “That’s all it was, right?”
“That’s not all it was,” he muttered, the cool air not doing much to calm him down like he hoped it would.  
You narrow your eyes at him. “But you said-”
“I know what I said!” He cut you off, instantly regretting his inability to keep calm during a moment like this when he saw the way you flinched back slightly. He breathed out heavily, gently taking your hand in his as he continued, “I know, okay? Trust me, it’s all I’ve been thinking about for the last six weeks.”
He thought since you hadn’t pulled your hand away from his yet, that maybe you were actually willing to give him a chance to explain himself, but your next words proved him wrong, “Wow, really? Me too,” you said sarcastically. “Do you know how humiliating it was for me to explain to Jake that I had told you how I felt, just to have you throw it back at me as if you didn’t care at all? It was mortifying, Bradley, to tell you that I was falling for you and have you act as if it was the worst thing you had ever heard.”
You pulled your hand away from him and he swayed slightly at the fast movement. “I never wanted you to feel that way, Y/n/n,” he tried, but you just placed your hand flat against his chest.
“And you’re drunk,” you give him a firm push, successfully putting a decent amount of space between the two of you. “You won’t even remember this tomorrow, so why do I even bother?”
“Please, Y/n,” he begged, trying to step towards you but you just shook your head. “I missed you so much. I really, really want to talk things through with you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” was all you muttered as you walked towards the stairs. “If Jake asks where I am, tell him I went home. I don’t need him worrying about me more than he already is.”
Bradley wanted to spit something out in spite, but held back as he watched your retreating form head off in the direction of your car. With a heavy sigh and another urge to down the first drink he saw, he headed back into the bar. 
As he made his way towards Nat, Jake stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. “Rooster,” he said over the music. “Where did Y/n go? Don’t tell me she’s outside waiting for you after believing whatever bullshit story you told her.”
Bradley muttered something under his breath as he turned to face the man. “She went home,” he replied, shoving Jake’s hand off his shoulder with more force than he needed to. 
“Hey, man, don’t get mad at me,” Jake said with an eye roll. “I’m the one who looked after her while you were away. I’m the one who made her smile again when she came back from dropping you off in tears.”
Bradley felt his skin heating up, not wanting to talk to the man anymore, and especially not about you. “Jake,” he warned. “Don’t.”
But Jake only laughed. “Don’t what, Rooster? What?” He asked with a certain hostility to his voice. “Do you know how it makes me feel to know I practically pushed her into your arms and had to watch as she got her heart broken? You might not be her friend, Bradshaw, but I am. And you’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here tonight and asking to speak with her.”
Taking another deep breath, Bradley tried to ignore all the eyes that were beginning to stare at him as the two aviators glared at each other. “I’m serious, Hangman, lay off,” 
You were right, he was drunk and not in the right state of mind to think rationally at this point. He needed to leave now before he did something he regretted. Before he did something that would further fuel your distaste for him.
“I don’t think I will,” Jake continued to push him. “See, you can be an dick to me all you want, but being a dick to Y/n is where I have a problem. She might want to forget it ever happened, but I won’t let you forget just how nice of a girl you let slip away. Truthfully, you never deserved her, and I’m mad at myself for introducing her to you, seeing how it worked out so well.”
“Enough,” Bradley nearly yelled, noticing that someone had stopped the music and that most of the patrons had gathered around at this point, including Nat, who gave him a look of warning. “Back off, Seresin, I mean it.”
He went to turn away, but Jake had other plans. “Or what? You gonna publicly humiliate me, too? Or is that just something you like to do to Y/n-” Bradley didn’t hear the rest as he quickly turned back around and punched Jake square in the nose. 
Jake stumbled back while Nat rushed forward to pull on Bradley’s arm. “Jesus, Bradley, are you crazy?!” She asked as she turned him to face her, but as soon as he took his eyes off Jake, the blond swung back and knocked him back a few feet.
Nat’s grip on Bradley loosened as he stumbled back, his hand reaching up to grip the side of his face as his head began to spin. 
Fanboy and Coyote held Jake back while Nat grabbed Bradley again. Penny rushed in and stood between the men with angry eyes and a bite to her tone. “Both of you, out. Now,” she said in a voice that left no room for arguments. 
Jake just glared at Bradley as he left the Hard Deck, Fanboy following quickly after him. 
Nat wrapped her arm around her best friend’s middle as she guided him out to the parking lot. “You’re wasted, Bradley,” she scolded as she led him over to her car. 
He narrowed his eyes, still holding his face with one hand while his other gripped her shoulder. “Where are we going? I didn’t park over here,” he mumbled and heard her scoff in response. 
“You didn’t think I was going to let you drive home after all this, did you?”
Bradley stopped, making her stop as well as he turned to give her an annoyed look. “I am not leaving my Bronco here overnight,” he stated and she rolled her eyes, holding out her free hand. 
“Fine,” she grunted. “Give me your keys. I’ll drive you home.”
Bradley did as he was told, placing the keys in her hand as he asked, “What about your car?”
“I’ll just crash at your place tonight and you can drive me home in the morning before work so I can change. I’ll pick up my car later,” she mumbled, pulling the passenger door open for him but leaving him to get himself in the car as she made her way to the driver’s side. 
After he hoisted himself into the car, Bradley rested his head against the window, the cool glass soothing the burn he felt on the right side of his face.
As Nat started the Bronco and set off in the direction of his house, she let the tense atmosphere grow thicker and thicker until she couldn’t hold herself back anymore. “What were you thinking? Going off on Hangman like that? You know how protective he is over her, there was no way you were winning that one,”
Bradley just shrugged, his eyes feeling heavy as he stared out the dark window. “I miss her, Nat,” he murmured. “I’m in love with her.”
Nat looked over at him in surprise. She knew he felt strongly about you, and it was obvious to anyone with eyes that he loved you, but to witness him finally admit it to himself was a bit shocking. “Have you told her that?” She asked, lowering her voice as she realized he was letting himself be vulnerable with her. 
“I wanted to, as soon as I got there,” he lifted his head and sat up a bit straighter, despite his body begging him to let it rest. “I was going to, but she was with Jake. She looked happy. She didn’t want to talk to me.”
Nat sighed heavily. “So make her talk to you,”
“I tried,” he rasped, his throat dry and his face sore. He made a mental note to never take the first swing at Jake Seresin ever again. “I tried to explain myself, but she just wanted to leave at that point.”
“Well, obviously,” Nat muttered, pulling onto his street. “You got drunk and couldn’t keep your eyes off her all night. She probably thought you just wanted to sleep with her again.”
When she pulled into his driveway, she turned off the car and moved so she was facing him. He looked back at her with tired eyes and a red cheek. “I want to be with her, Nat. I want us to be together,”
Her eyes stared into his for a few seconds before she sighed and pulled out the keys. “So tell her that. Sober, this time. Tell her everything, and don’t let her leave without her knowing how you really feel. I bet she still feels the same way,”
Bradley scoffed as he blindly reached for the handle. “Right,” he mumbled as he got out of the car. “I’m sure she’s still in love with the guy who walked away after she gave him her heart, and then that same guy gave her every mixed signal in return.”
Nat rolled her eyes as she got out of the car as well and helped him into the house. She led him down the hall to his room, where she pushed him down onto his covers and lifted his legs so he was laying down. “You need to tell her, Bradley,” she said quietly as she pulled his boots off and dropped them to the floor. “I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, alright? Everyone has. If you could just admit your feelings to one another, you could be great together.”
Bradley looked at his best friend with hooded eyes, completely vulnerable as he wore his heart on his sleeve. “What if she doesn’t want me back?” He asked in defeat, not wanting to think about the possibility that he had truly blown his one shot with you. “What if she doesn’t want me anymore?”
Nat stared down at him as she sat next to him, trying to think of what to say that would make him feel even a little bit better. “Then at least you’ll know,” she offered, watching the way his shoulders dropped in dread. “And I’ll be right here, scolding you for letting her get away, but also applauding you for not going down without a fight.”
She leaned forward and kissed the mark on his face from Jake’s fist. 
“Literally,”
Bradley huffed out a laugh as he watched her stand up and turn off the lights before disappearing down the hall towards the guest room. 
She was right, like always. 
He needed to tell you how he felt, he needed to tell you what he should’ve told you that day on the dock.
But most of all, he just needed you. 
-
Bradley was met with a bruised cheek when he was finally able to pull himself out of bed the next morning. His head was pounding and his throat was dry, making him think back to his college days where he would drink into the early hours of the morning and wake up with countless hangovers. 
He felt awful, similar to how he felt back when he was a twenty year old frat boy who had no idea what to do with his life. 
Waking up in his own bed without you felt foreign. He had gotten so used to falling asleep with you in his arms and waking up with you, he didn’t know what to do with himself. 
For what felt like the millionth time, Bradley wished his parents were here. He wanted to be able to confide in his mom, and be chewed out by his dad, then watch his mom chew out his dad for chewing him out. 
He knew that if they were still here, he wouldn’t be in this situation because both his mom and his dad would’ve called him out for stringing you along like he did, way before he even realized his true feelings for you.
Since he had fallen asleep on top of the covers, he didn’t need to worry about making the bed. He left it the way you had neatly made it up the day you drove him to the carrier ship, numbly pulling on his work clothing before grabbing his phone. Nat had thankfully put it on charge, so he had a full battery to go into work with. 
When he made his way to the kitchen, he found his best friend sitting at the island, a coffee mug in one hand and a piece of toast in the other. She gave him a quick wave as she slowly slid the second coffee mug across the counter. “Drink up, Roozie,” she said as she finished her toast, gathering up all the crumbs in her palm before brushing them off in the sink. 
Bradley grunted as he sipped on the coffee, his head still pounding. “Think I’m going to need more than one of these to get me through today,” he muttered, eyeing Nat as she wandered around his house in the clothing she wore last night. “I have some clothes you could wear, if you want.”
She shook her head. “No, thanks. Save that offer for when you win Y/n back and she raids your closet again,” she winked, making him groan quietly at the image of you wearing his clothes. “I’m not trying to rub salt in the wound, here, but when she wore your shirt at the Hard Deck the day before your deployment? I can’t believe you didn’t make things official right then and there.”
Bradley finished his coffee, setting the mug down in the crumb-littered sink as he turned to face her. “Don’t remind me,” 
She held her hands up. “Right, sorry,” she said before grabbing her phone from off the counter. “Anyway, we should get going. The sooner you’re done with work, the sooner you can work on getting your girlfriend back.”
She was testing him, but he just shook his head, not bothering to correct her as he grabbed his keys from where she threw them onto the table beside the door last night. 
At work, Bradley laid low for a while, only talking to those who talked to him, and avoiding Jake like the plague. He was doing a pretty decent job, until he ran into him in the cafeteria. 
Jake was sporting a bruised nose, and Bradley wished he could find joy in the fact that he did that, but he knew that when you saw it, you’d be even more pissed with him than you already are. 
Bradley also knew he looked worse, but that was only because he had thrown the first punch. Just another thing that was entirely his fault. 
He didn’t say anything to Jake as he walked past him and ended up leaving the cafeteria altogether, pulling his phone out on his way to the tarmac. He clicked on your contact and brought the phone up to his ear before he could talk himself out of it. 
Really, he was embarrassed about how he acted last night, but he also wanted to forget about it all and get you back. If that meant owning up to his dumb actions from the previous evening, then so be it. 
He braced himself against the side of the building by placing his palm flat against the wall, his grip on his phone tightening the longer he was met with the obnoxious ringing sound.
Just as he was about to hang up and call again, you answered with a sharp, “What?” 
Though your voice wasn’t super friendly at the moment, Bradley couldn’t help but let a feeling of hope wash over him because you had actually picked up. Sure, you took your sweet time doing it, but you still answered his call. “Hey, Y/n/n,” he said in a much softer tone than he used last night. “I can’t talk for long because I’m at work, but I just needed to say something.”
You waited a heartbeat or two before replying with a cautious, “Okay? What?” 
He huffed out a breath he didn’t know he was holding before he opened his mouth in an apology, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I was an asshole last night, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk to me. You were right, I was drunk and had no business trying to get you to talk with me when I was like that,” he said in one go, stumbling over a few of his words, but continuing nonetheless, “And I’m sorry for what I said to you back on the dock. I didn’t realize it then, but you told me everything I wanted to hear, I just didn’t know how to deal with it.”
It was silent on your end for a bit, and he could picture you chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to think of what to say to him. A few more seconds pass before you finally break the silence. “Well, thanks for apologizing,” your voice was much quieter than before, and you sounded much more willing to actually talk to him. 
And he wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to keep you talking to him. “Like I said, I’m at work…but I really want to see you later, explain why I said what I did and how much of a fucking idiot I’ve been, if you’ll let me,” he nearly whispered the last part. “Come over later? Please? I promise, it’s not just me wanting to have fun with you, because that was never all it was for me. I can’t believe I even said that.”
You sighed and he prepared himself for the rejection he knew he deserved, but you surprised him as you asked, “Six, right? That’s when you’re off?”
Bradley pushed himself off the wall and looked around at the empty tarmac before answering, “Yeah, yes,” he quickly spoke. “Six.”
“Okay,” you murmured, your next words making a grin break out on his face. “I’ll be there for seven, maybe seven thirty if I begin to have second thoughts.”
And then you hung up, and Bradley was left standing by himself, smiling like he had just won the lottery, when in reality, he had just won something so much better. 
-
After quickly dropping Nat off at the Hard Deck so she could get her car, Bradley was speeding home in a way that was similar to when he floored it when you informed him you’d see him there yesterday. 
He quickly unlocked the door and stripped on his way to his bathroom for a shower, not wanting the way he had started to sweat after you confirmed that you’d come over later be the first thing you were met with when you arrived. 
He switched his shirt probably around four times before settling on a simple black tee and dark jeans. He paced the length of his living room for nearly twenty minutes before stopping abruptly and pulling out his phone to check the time. 
It was nearing seventy thirty, and Bradley began to think you really were having second thoughts, but he wasn’t able to dwell on it for long before he heard the sounds of knocking coming from his front door. 
He pocketed his phone and made his way to the door within three strides, pulling it open to reveal you in a cute oversized tee that was tucked into your jean shorts. It was similar to the way you looked when he took you to the Hard Deck, and while he knew you thought it was just a casual outfit, Bradley thought you never looked better. 
But then again, he found you hot in any kind of clothing, so he was a bit biased. 
“Hi,” he said when he opened the door, trying not to let his eyes wander too much. 
“Hi,” you said back, hesitantly meeting his eye with a forced smile that faltered when you caught sight of the bruise on his cheek. If you wanted to say anything about it, you held back and he could appreciate your ability to bite your tongue when you needed to. “Sorry, I really didn’t know if I was coming tonight.” You add when he stepped aside and allowed you to enter his house. 
He closed the door behind you, following you into the living room as he shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m glad you’re here,”
You slowly sat down on the couch, awkwardly gazing up at him as if you had no business being there. As if he hadn’t fucked you into the very cushions you were sat on more times than he could count on one hand. As if he hadn’t blown off plans with his friends so he could hold you on this couch while you watched movie after movie instead. 
You bit your lip as you thought of what to say, and Bradley had to look away quickly before you really began to think he just wanted you here so you could get him off. “So….how was your day?”
Had things really become that bad? To the point where that was the only thing you could think of asking him?
“It was fine,” he answered as he moved to sit down next to you, leaving a few inches of space between your thigh and his. You didn’t look uncomfortable yet, so he safely assumed you had no problem with him slightly invading your personal space. “How was yours?”
Oh, yeah. This was bad.
“It was fine,” you repeated his answer, and you quickly realized that as you added, “Yeah, it was good.”
“Good,” someone kill him now. This was not how he wanted to start this night off with you. 
Before he could mentally call himself out on how dumb he was acting, you asked him, “Can I ask what happened to your face?” Your tone held a sliver of humor, a teasing smile on your lips that quickly had the awkward tension begin to dissolve. 
He laughed and scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, it happened last night,”
You nodded, raising a brow when he didn’t continue. “What, did you run face first into a door or something?”
“No, Jake punched me,” he said and watched the way your small grin dropped and how your eyes widened. You open your mouth in concern, but he quickly added, “After I punched him.” 
Your concerned expression drops even quicker as you break eye contact with him and run your tongue along the underside of your teeth. “Uh,” you refrain from completely losing your cool before you heard what exactly went down. “Why, exactly, did you punch him?”
When you didn’t turn to look at him again, Bradley shrugged. “Because you came with him and not me,” 
That had you turning to look over at him. “What?” You asked in disbelief. “Seriously? You were jealous?”
He sat up a bit straighter as he began to feel like he was being interrogated. “Yeah, I was,” he answered, cutting you off before you could even say anything, “He kept making very valid points to me about how I fucked things up and how I never deserved you in the first place, and he was making too much sense so I punched him.” 
You squinted at him but then suddenly laughed when you realized he was being serious. “Oh, my God, Bradley,” you scolded. “You can’t just go around punching people because they were making too much sense, especially Jake.”
“I was drunk,” he weakly defended himself, but sighed right alongside you when you gave him an unimpressed look. “I know that’s not an excuse.” 
“You’re right,” you agreed, fighting back a dumb grin at the fact that you had actually managed to make him jealous without even trying to. “It’s not.”
Bradley shook his head as he, too, fought off an embarrassed smile. “I was just so unbelievably jealous when I walked in and saw you under his arm, because I knew that could’ve been me had I not turned you down,”
You look away quickly as the memory of that day comes spiraling back. “So…why did you?” You asked quietly as you placed with the silver ring you wore on your right index finger. “Turn me down? Was it really because I’m too young for you? Because I read too much into things?”
“No,” he quickly answered, turning his body towards yours. “God, no, that wasn’t it at all. I was just…an idiot, to put it simply. I was too afraid to give in and admit to myself that I felt the exact same way that you did.”
“But why?” You asked and lifted your gaze to meet his. “Why were you afraid? It’s just me.”
“I know,” he held back on referring to you with one of the many pet names he had given you during the last six months. “And it wasn’t you, I promise. This is all on me and my stupid trust issues and my inability to realize just how good I had it until it was gone…until you were gone.”
You press your lips into a thin line as you process his words. “You could’ve just told me that, instead of making me feel like I was just one big mistake to you,” 
Bradley felt his heart crack at that, a heat pooling in his bones as he realized just how much his words truly affected you. “You are not a mistake,” he said, sounding more serious than he had ever sounded before. “You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and Jake was right, I never deserved to have you in the way I did.”
“Bradley-”
“No, it’s true. We were so fucking good together, and it felt so right with you, and all it took for me to fuck it up was you admiting what we both already knew; that it was so much more than just us hooking up,” he was surprised how easy it was for him to open up to you, seeing as the only other person he could be vulnerable with was Nat, but he knew you wouldn’t make him feel bad for showing you this side of him. “There was something there between us, and there still is for me, and I’m so sorry I let you believe that there wasn’t.”
Your eyes flickered all over his face and you thought back to how differently he looked at you six weeks ago. Back then he looked so cold and came off as arrogant, but now he looked genuine, like he truly meant every word he told you. Maybe that was why you felt yourself beginning to break down the walls you had put up the second he had broken your heart. “So, what do you feel between us now? How do you feel about me?”
When Bradley met your eyes, he saw that same vulnerability you had when you confessed your feelings for him. You were giving him the second chance he had wanted for weeks now, and he would not let you get away again. 
He took your hand in his as his knee brushed yours. “I feel that, given the chance to prove myself to you, we could be just as good together as we were before. No, we could be even better,” he emphasized the last word and watched as the last bit of reluctance faded from your eyes. “And as for how I feel about you? I don’t think I’m falling for you.”
When he felt your grip on his hand loosen, and saw the way your eyes pricked with unshed tears, he quickly moved closer to you. 
“I know I’m in love with you,” he added, “And I have been for half a year now.”
A second or two passes before a big grin spreads across your face, and you reach up with your free hand to grip the side of his face, letting your thumb brush against his scars. “You’re in love with me?” You asked, desperate to know he wasn’t just messing with you in hopes to get you back to how things were before. “You’re really in love with me?”
Bradley just nodded, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand as he said the thing he should’ve a month and a half ago, “I love you,” 
You smile again and refrain from jumping on him right then and there. 
“And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way,” he adds, looking down at your joined hands and missing the way your brows furrowed in disbelief. “I can wait, I just needed to tell you that-”
You cut him off by leaning forward and pressing your lips to his in a kiss that leaves you both feeling dizzy. “Are you kidding me?” You against his mouth, removing your hand from his in order to grip the back of his neck. “Of course I love you. I have for months.”
Bradley was barely able to grin back at you before your mouth was covering his once again, and his hands were gripping your waist and pulling you onto his lap. “I missed you so much,” he murmured in between kisses. “I regretted what I said the second I saw you crying and I was too far away to do anything about it. It felt like I had left my heart back on that dock with you.”
You push him so he’s sitting back against the couch, your knees pressing into the cushions on either side of him as you straddle his lap. “So,” you pressed a chaste kiss to his mouth, laughing afterwards when he quickly guided you into another one as you pulled away. “You don’t think I’m too young and immature for you?” 
Bradley closed his eyes when he felt your lips latch onto his neck, groaning as you began to suck a mark onto his skin. “Fuck no,” he answered, slipping his hands into the back pockets of your shorts and pulling your hips forward to create the smallest bit of friction. “You’re more mature than most of the people I work with.”
You hum in approval, running your tongue over the fresh mark he would proudly wear at work tomorrow. “And you’re okay with us being in two different places in our lives?”
“I don’t care where we are,” he confirmed, guiding your lips back to his in a bruising kiss. “Just as long as I’m with you.”
“Good answer,” you kiss him again as your fingers begin to work on the zipper of his jeans. 
“Wait,” he reluctantly pulls away from your mouth, his hold on your hips making you halt your mission on his zipper. 
“What’s wrong?” You quickly ask, worried you’d overstepped a boundary without realizing it.
But Bradley just playfully scoffed at you, lifting you up and turning so you were laying against the couch and he was hovering over you. He unbuttoned your shorts and pulled them down your legs, a deep groan leaving the back of his throat when he caught sight of the black lace that covered your core from him. “You just told me you love me and gave me a second chance,” he stated as he pressed an open mouth kiss to your inner thigh. “Nothing could be wrong after that.”
You stifle a quiet laugh, a moan slipping out instead when he placed a kiss to your clothed clit.
His fingers pulled down the lace and dropped the fabric to the floor next to your shorts as he muttered, “It’s been way too long since I tasted you,” before he began to devour you like a starved man. 
He supposed he was as he missed the sweet taste that only belonged to you so much. 
Your head leaned back against the decorative pillow on the armrest of the couch, your hand instinctively going straight to his hair. Bradley groaned against you at the subtle tug he received, growing harder in his jeans as he pulled your legs so they’re resting over his shoulders. 
The vibration had you clenching around nothing, a low whine escaping your parted lips. “Bradley,” you gasped quietly when he nudged your folds apart with his nose before licking a flat strip up the center of you. 
“Say my name again,” he softly demanded, wrapping his arms around your thighs and pulling you even closer to his awaiting tongue. “Who’s making you feel good right now?”
“You,” it came out as a breath when he wrapped his lips around your clit, and you clenched tightly around nothing. “It’s you, Bradley. Fuck.”
“That’s right, baby,” he praised and the name had your eyes squeezing shut. “You’re so good for me, taste so fucking good.” 
Butterflies erupted in your body at his sweet but absolutely filthy words. “Bradley,” you nearly whispered, tugging a bit harder on his hair as you knew it would drive him crazy. “I missed you.”
Like you expected he would, a deep growl once again sent vibrations up your body and once again had you clenching around nothing. “I missed you, too, sweet girl, fuck, did I ever,” he muttered against your throbbing clit, the soft graze of his teeth making your breath hitch in your throat. “I missed you for six weeks straight, missed you when I got home and saw that you had taken out all your things you had in here. I want you to put it all back and never take them out again.”
You whimpered at his words and the possessiveness that laced them. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were asking me to move in with you,” you tried to make your voice sound teasing, but you were completely at his mercy right now and not even close to being in control.   
“Good idea,” he replied and your heart skipped a beat at what he was insinuating. You didn’t have time to dwell on what he meant by that before he was continuing, “Move in with me, please?”
Bradley knew he was moving too fast, but he felt as if he had already wasted so much time being away from you the last six weeks, he didn’t want to waste anymore. He needed you in his life, wanted to pick up on your habits and come home to a house full of yours and his things. 
He wanted to share his life with you in all the ways he didn’t before. He wouldn’t fuck this up again, and he wanted you to know just how serious he is about you and how serious he is about starting an official relationship with you.
You could hardly focus on what he was asking you to do. His tongue had slid back down your folds and penetrated you just slightly, your wetness coating the muscle as he lapped at you. 
He knew it wasn’t fair to ask you that while he was currently tongue fucking you, but in all fairness, you were the one who technically brought it up. “Please,” he begged against your heat. “Say you’ll move in with me, spend every night with me in our own bed, in our own house.”
His offer only sounded better and better, almost as good as his mouth felt against your throbbing clit. “Bradley,” 
“We’d be together everyday,” he rasped and you practically came from just his promises. When his mouth was back on you a second later, he grinned at the extra wetness he felt and took pride in the way he got you off at the idea of moving in together. He licked you clean before moving back up your body and hovering over you. “It could be like this every night.”
You moan quietly when he presses a soft kiss to your mouth. 
He ended it all too quickly as he slowly licked his lips that still tasted like you before asking, “So, what do you say?”
“Yes,” you were finally able to properly answer him, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders and pulling him closer to you. “Yes, I’ll move in with you.”
You share a couple more heated kisses before you pull away and gaze up at him with an unreadable emotion swimming in your eyes. Bradley caught on to the sudden change, and he reached his hand up to caress the side of your face. “What’s wrong?”
Shaking your head, you huff quietly and gently bump your nose against his. “Nothing,” you answer. “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just…This is all I’ve ever wanted for months. It’s hard to believe it’s actually happening.”
Bradley physically felt his heart skip a beat as he thought about all the pain he had put you through, and not even as recent as six weeks ago. He had unknowingly strung you along, played with your heart and allowed you to think this whole thing was purely sexual. 
He needed to assure you that this is real, that his feelings for you are real and genuine. “Baby,” he murmured, capturing your lips in a deep kiss as he slowly ground his hips against yours, the cool metal of his zipper rubbing against your pulsing core making you see stars behind your closed eyelids. “It’s happening. You and me, us. I love you and I’m so sorry for fucking things up so badly between us.”
You tug at the fabric of his shirt and give him a small smile, brushing your lips against his. “It’s okay,” you whisper. “We have each other now, right?”
“Right,” he confirmed and that was all you needed to hear before your shaking hands were pulling the black fabric off his upper body. 
The sight of his toned chest and abs on full display had you holding back a moan, your lip getting caught between your teeth as your eyes raked over his damn near flawless body. 
Bradley’s hand that was on your face moved so his thumb was slipping past your lips, and he watched with a slack jaw as you sucked it in deeper, your tongue running along the underside of it. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he really didn’t understand how a guy like him ended up with a girl like you, but he was done questioning it as you clearly felt the exact same way about him. You love him, and that’s all he needed to know.
“I think you’re talking about yourself,” you say as you press your lips to the skin of his neck. “You’re so attractive, Bradley, you could get me off with just a look.” Then you were sucking his skin, similar to the way you were sucking his thumb just a few seconds earlier. 
He grunted at the stinging sensation of the hickey you left on his neck, right next to the other one from earlier in the night. “That’s it, sweet girl,” he praised as he lifted your shirt over your head, your bra being pulled from your body quickly after. “Mark me up, show everyone that I belong to you.”
You gasp out in need, pulling his mouth back to yours as your hands frantically push down his jeans and boxer briefs. “Mine,” you whimper against his lips, feeling him hum in confirmation. 
“Yours, baby,” he replied, wrapping your legs around his waist as he teased your soaking entrance. “All yours.”
Then he was pushing into you. Your walls stretched around him and took him in perfectly, making his head fall against your shoulder as he got used to the feeling of you around him again after so long. 
“Fuck,” he groaned, pulling out only halfway before burying himself deep within you once again. “God, baby, you feel so good.”
His words release more butterflies all over your body and you clench around him, your greedy walls sucking him in even deeper. “Go slow,” you request in a quiet voice, making him lift his head to meet your eyes. 
Really, he was fine with fucking you into the cushion with enough force to break the springs, and he was also fine with loving your body with his own. “You want me to go slow?” He asked as he pulled out all the way then sunk right back in. “Fuck you nice and slow, like this?”
When he repeated the movement a couple times, you nod quickly and reach your hands up so they’re in his hair. “Yeah,” you breathe out, connecting your lips in a barely-there kiss before saying, “Just like that. I want to feel every inch of you in me.”
Bradley’s hips stuttered at that, breaking the slow pace for a quick second as he placed his forearm against the cushion next to your head. “Fuck, baby, you can’t say things like that and expect me to not fuck you hard into this couch.” 
You laughed quietly, and the sound only spurred him on as he set the slow pace once again. “You need to gain some self control, Bradley,” you purred into his ear and he was once again refraining from absolutely destroying your core. 
“I can’t,” he said as he began to place kisses all over your collarbones and shoulders. “Not when I have you wrapped around me, not when you’re taking me so well. Fuck, look at you.”
You give him a teasing smile that fades quickly when he sucks the skin of your throat. After half a year with him, you’ve noticed he seems to have a favorite spot on your neck where he likes to kiss you and leave physical proof of his mouth being there. 
The last time you felt his lips on that spot was when he got you off so good before taking you to the Hard Deck, where you showed off the hickey he left on you. 
“I can’t believe you’re mine,” he muttered, mostly to himself as he gazed down at your saliva coated skin. “After everything, after I fucked things up, you’re still mine.”
You hum, wrapping your legs around his waist and pressing him closer to you, making him reach even deeper within you. “I always was yours,” you confessed and felt the way his grip tightened on you. 
“But,” he grunted as his hips rocked into yours in a slow rhythm, that sick feeling of jealousy creeping back into him, despite him being very aware of his current position of being buried within you. “You were with Jake last night-”
“But my heart was always with you,” you cut him off and noticed the way he seemed to relax at your words. “My heart was still yours, even after you broke it.” You give him a teasing grin in hopes he wouldn’t take it too hard, but this was Bradley, and he was a pretty emotional guy when it came down to certain things.
While you had given him all the reassurance he needed, he was still feeling so awful for how he treated you, and he wanted to make it up to you. He wanted you to forget about it, forget that dumb side of him who didn’t understand what he was saying. 
“I’m not going to do that ever again,” he promised, jerking his hips a bit roughly but not picking up the pace. “I’m going to treat you so well, be so good to you all the time. You’re going to grow so fucking sick of me, I swear.”
You would’ve laughed, but the sharp snaps of his thrusts had you getting lost in the feeling of him. “‘S all I’ve wanted,” you whimpered when he reached one hand down to rub circles on your still sensitive clit. 
It throbbed against the pad of his middle finger in time with the way your walls pulsed around him. He was driving into you so slowly, you felt every single inch of him as he invaded your warm and inviting core. 
You were so used to the rough, fast paced sex with him in the past, but this was different. Back then, he was just trying to get you off in the ways he knew you liked, and desperately tried to ignore the unspoken words between the two of you.
He tried to fuck away his true feelings for you, hoping that the way his heart would flip at your sweet sounds and how his whole body fit so perfectly against your own was just him getting caught up in the moment. 
He was so glad he was wrong and finally allowed himself to face reality. 
“You’re all I want, too,” he struggled to say as you clenched tightly around him. “I don’t know why I even bothered trying to deny it…fuck, you’re so tight.”
You smirk to yourself at his struggle to keep control of the slow drag of his hips. “Only for you,” you fed into his possessiveness over you, and raked your nails down his back.
“Fuck,” he hissed at the sting, the light scratches on his skin feeling better than he ever thought was possible. “Thank you for giving me a second chance, sweet girl. I won’t fuck this up again.”
You press your lips to his as you feel the coil in your abdomen begin to unravel. “‘M gonna come again,” you informed him against his mouth, fueling him to pick the pace up just slightly as he continued with his sharp thrusts. 
“I want you to so badly,” a deep grunt left his lip as he felt the beginning of your orgasm start to coat him. “Just like that, baby. Come for me, I want to feel it all over me. I want it to be messy.”
Your mouth breaks away from his in order for you to be able to let out a loud moan, followed by a call of his name as your release surged through you. With a gentle hand pressed to his face, your thumb brushing against the bruise he received last night, you came hard around him.
“Fuck yeah, baby,” he rasped next to your ear, using your willing core to get himself there, as well. “You look so fucking hot when you come for me.”
Whimpering at the sensitivity, you push him closer with your heel against his back. “Wanna feel you, too,” you mumbled, helplessly taking each thrust he gave as you wouldn’t be fully satisfied until he, too, got off. “I want it in me.”
Bradley’s jaw locked at that, his neck straining as he gave two more quick thrusts before stilling. You were rewarded with a deep, throaty groan as he spilled his seed into you, and you took every single drop.
Your walls, seemingly desperate to feel him breed them once again, gripped him tightly when he lazily started to rock his hips into yours again. The both of you were far too sensitive to go for round two right now, so he was just riding your highs for as long as he could. 
You gently massaged his scalp, his head undoubtedly sore from your relentless tugs on his hair. Bradley was actually excited to deal with the brief headache that would come from it. He was even more excited to see the scratches on his back tomorrow morning, and he was excited to take you to the Hard Deck on Friday night and officially make it known to everyone there that you are his and he is yours. 
Granted, most of the people there already assumed that, but it would still feel great to finally go public with you. 
Bradley wrapped you up in his arms and got into a more comfortable position with you on the couch. He placed a few kisses to the top of your head as you basked in the afterglow, finally feeling truly happy for the first time in over a month. “I love you,” he had somehow managed to win you back, and he would make damn sure he keeps his promise of never breaking your heart again. “Every single part of you.”
You lean up and press a kiss to the mark on his cheek, making a mental note to give Jake a hard time about using his fists instead of walking away. You were still grateful that he was so protective over you, though, so you wouldn’t be too serious about it. “I love you, too, Bradley,” you say back. “I always have.”
-
@everythingmarveltopgun
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alexiswritergirl · 2 months
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What he finds most attractive about you
Prompt: Headcanons on what the bllk boys find most attractive about you.
A/N: Some of these characters could be OOC, so keep that in mind.
Featuring: Rin, Sae, Isagi, Bachira, Reo, and Niko
Rin
What does he find most attractive about you? Your voice.
It took a bit for Rin to warm up to you fully, but when he did, he started to notice how calming your voice is to him. For him, it’s like an angel singing him a lullaby, his favorite music to listen to. If you are insecure about how you sound, don’t be because he genuinely finds comfort in the sound of your voice. It’s the fact that hearing you lets him know that you’re there with *him*. He listens intently to you every time you talk, paying close attention to the pitch of your voice and letting it calm down all of his nerves. When you talk about something that excites you, he will slightly smile and wonder how high your voice would go. If you were to have a bad day, he would know right away just by the tone of your voice no matter how hard you try to hide it. When he’s the one having a bad day, he always finds himself looking for you for comfort and letting you comb your fingers through his hair, while consoling him. He feels as if you are the only person in the whole world who understands him and won’t judge him (and leave to Spain 🙄). If you can sing, that is a HUUUGE bonus for him. He would be pretty down bad for you and will shyly ask you to sing to him. He knows he can be a lot to handle, so he’s appreciative of you for being there. Even though Rin doesn’t always outwardly express how much he appreciates you, he definitely shows it through his actions. 
“Being around you is different…God, I don’t know how to put this into words, but all I know is that I want to be close to you forever.”
Sae
What does he find most attractive about you? Your sense of humor.
He freaking adores your sense of humor. This guy has the personality of a broccoli, so you being the funny person you are really switches up his usual routine. He always makes sure you’re around to make everything feel so lively; he feels like a “normal person” with you, it’s as if he forgets he’s a celebrity. When he’s abroad for a game, he misses you a lot and wonders what shenanigans you’re up to. He especially thinks about you A LOT during boring interviews, wondering what bizarre thing you would say to turn it into something fun. He makes it a top priority to call you when he has free time—this is like a way for him to unwind and just giggle the night away after a game or other important matters. He will sometimes purposely be mean to you in a playful manner just to get a reaction from you. He often chuckles to himself reminiscing the times when you said something stupid that randomly popped into his head. Some of his teammates wonder if they’re in some sort of alternate universe. Like…Sae Itoshi is laughing? No must be hearing things. Except Shidou though, he will tease Sae to no end.
“Life never gets boring when I’m with you. Feels like I’ve known you for years, lifetimes even. You better stay close to me because I’m not letting you go, got that?”
Isagi
What does he find most attractive about you? Your smile and laughter.
He finds it very attractive every time you laugh and flash that bright smile. It makes him feel very special and reassured knowing how happy you are around him. If you’re insecure to laugh or smile, he will look at you as if you are crazy and shower you with compliments until the end of time. He doesn’t fully understand why you would be insecure because for him he gets all fuzzy and warm inside when he sees you cheerful. Even though he tells an unfunny joke, he can always count on you to fill in the awkward silence. Your laughter is like a soft melody to his ears that will never bore him, and that smile just makes all the negativity leave his entire body—it’s like a reminder of how much he is cared for. AND OH MY GOSH if you have dimples, he will be so down bad for you. He will do everything in his power to just make you smile. If you’re insecure about your dimples, he would be so confused as to why. He will kiss them very often just so you can feel good about them, along with his sweet compliments of how cute they look.
“You must be some sort of magician because every time I see you, everything else just disappears. Hey! I’m trying to flirt with you, don’t laugh! Or do… Damn, you're too cute…”
Bachira
What does he find most attractive about you? You dancing carefree.
Bachira gets all excited and energetic every time you dance. It’s the way you freely move like there’s no one else around and how you dance so effortlessly as you sway your hips and wave your arms everywhere. And your face is so relaxed while doing so. Bachira could watch you all day and be absolutely mesmerized by you as if you hypnotized him, even though he much prefers to be dancing with you. He has Just Dance downloaded and will have you play it with him to see who’s a better dancer. He also has an entire playlist of songs he remembers that you love so he can see you get all giddy. I can see Bachira practicing kpop dances to impress you if you’re a fan of kpop. He likes to call himself your “personal idol”. His favorite thing is to have you close to him so that he can hold you and gaze into your eyes while he sweet talks to you. 
“Y/N! Just learned a new dance move! Impressed right? As your personal idol, I have to have these kinds of moves down, I gotta keep up with you, yknow? How else will I dance with my Galway Girl?” 
(Yes it is an ed sheeren reference)
Reo
What does he find most attractive about you? Your nose.
Reo is the very observant type, so it didn’t take long for him to notice the way your nose would perk up every time you smile or scrunch up when you get excited or disgusted by something. He thinks it's a very cute charm you have and reminds you every time by giving you a little peck on the nose. Not only that but he will also “boop” your nose or rub his on yours occasionally. He feels incredibly special since he is hopefully one of the few to notice this. Will definitely gatekeep this in case others also want to boop your nose because those boops are only reserved for him! He will talk about it all to Nagi though.
“Y/N! Come here! Closerrrrr. Scooch on closer! Boop! There she is. You’re like a sweet little bunny, my bunny.”
Niko
What does he find most attractive about you? Your eyes.
At first, he did not think much about you or your eyes until you both became friends and later on realized how pretty your eyes are. Canonically, he believes you can read someone’s personality if you look into their eyes. And what he reads in your eyes is how caring and genuine you are. You sometimes catch his gaze linger a little bit longer than usual, so you tend to snap him out of his thoughts. Most of the time he does it without even realizing it, which results in him feeling embarrassed afterwards. When you’re at his place, he’ll turn on the TV to watch an anime in hopes of just focusing on the show and not creep you out with his constant staring. That is until his eyes wander onto yours once again. Sometimes if he’s feeling good, he’ll secretly push his bangs up a bit so he can get a clearer look at you. If you both have been together for a while though, he won’t cover his eyes around you and will only be reserved for you. On dates, there will be times when you both just hold onto each other's hands and stare into one another’s eyes. When you’re both going to bed, he’ll lightly kiss your eyelids shut before you both sleep. He believes it’ll help you have good dreams at night.
“Maybe it’s the way your eyes hold so many mysteries that makes me feel this way. Or perhaps it is curiosity? I don’t know…It’s like trying to study the universe, so many things to discover.”
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hihhasotherfixations · 2 months
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This has been stuck in my head, and I gotta know your opinion. How do you think Price would react to reader showing him the cringe/perverted dms they’ve been getting from newer recruits?
You know, those, “your husband doesn’t doesn’t have to know, babygirl,” messages.
I imagine the reader being like, “haha look at these idiots,” and laughing about how cringe it is while Price is just like, “yeah haha…” while silently seething.
I really liked this so I couldn’t stop myself from writing a little drabble :3
Totally agree with you though
Word Count: 791
“John, look at this.” You chuckled as you leaned over on the couch, leaning onto his lap as you held up your phone for him.
On it, your messenger app sat open, a message from an unknown number, though given it was sent to your work phone, it was clear it was from someone on base.
Frowning, Price grabbed your phone, pulling it away from his face a bit so that he could actually read.
‘Hey sweetheart.
I’ve noticed you seem lonely during training. I can fix that, if you so wish ;)’
Instantly, Price’s brows furrowed deeper, his eyebrows tightening together as he read your reply.
‘I’m married, thank you.’
‘Your husband doesn’t have to know, sweetheart.
I know the old man can’t do what I can. Let me show you what you’ve been craving. You need someone young to satisfy your needs.’
Clenching his teeth, the captain tried to scroll to continue to read, but that’s where the chat ended - you hadn’t deemed the man with a reply.
“It’s ridiculous.” You chuckled. “The absolute gal of some guys, I mean come on.”
Blinking out of his thoughts, Price looked at you, sighing out a breath as he then gave your phone back. “Who is it?”
You took your phone back, placing it beside you on the couch as you shrugged. “Dunno, just some recruit. I got this after one of the skill tests. You were working with new sprouts while I was evaluating, remember?” You ask, turning and laying down with your head on his lap, your legs over the edge of the couch. “Think he saw me on the sidelines and made his own assumptions about my happiness.” You snorted.
Glancing down at you, Price took in a deep breath, his left hand moving to cradle the top of your head. His mind went back to training that morning, trying to recall the faces of all the men - because it was a man, obviously. A bad one at that.
Softly scratching your scalp to distract you, you went back to watching the television while Price stewed in his thoughts, replaying the messages.
Hell, it wasn’t even so much the blatant hitting on you - he trusted you implicitly so that was not an issue. He knew you were happy with him, he was confident in his abilities to care for you and all your needs, emotional and physical. No, it was the fucking petname.
The bastard had used one of his petnames for you.
Sweetheart. It was something he always called you. Be it to tease or genuine, there was always a good time to use it. But now, even thinking about the word left a vile taste in his mouth.
Sitting in silence for a little while, you were just enjoying Price’s ministrations when he suddenly spoke up.
“You think I’m old?”
“Older than that guy, sure, but definitely not old.” You chuckled, glancing up, seeing the frown that had appeared on his brow as you showed him the messages hadn’t left. “Oh, John.” You coo’ed softly and he blinked, looking down.
“What?” Confused, he stopped scratching your head, just holding as he looked at you, then watching you slowly sit up, turning to him as you shuffled closer until your hip was pushed against his thigh, with you facing him.
“You grumpy from the message?” You teased softly and the captain scowled.
“Fuck no. Just thinking about the training for tomorrow.”
Grinning, you placed your hand on his cheek. “You gonna punish all the recruits just for the actions of one?”
“No.” Price countered, though it wasn’t incredibly strong, with him instead just wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close.
“You’re adorable.” You smiled, leaning in and starting to press sweet kisses all across his face, a little hum leaving the man until you kissed him on the lips.
Instantly he responded, his hand moving up to cradle the back of your head as he then pulled you into his lap, deepening the kiss.
Smiling into it, you pulled away after a moment. “See? Adorable.”
Huffing a little chuckle, Price dropped his hand to your neck, brushing the back of his fingers across your skin. “In your eyes maybe. But you on the other hand need to stop being so damn desirable, sweetheart. Lest I need to set up a fortress to keep others out.”
At that, you threw your head back and laughed, a proud grin spreading on Price’s face as he held your waist to keep you steady while you did.
He knew you were his. And that was never going to change.
He was still intensifying the training for tomorrow though. You know, as a reply message for the recruit. And a warning.
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blue-jisungs · 2 months
Text
ONE SHOT
author's note. first of all thank u @kyrjnie for helping me out w the idea fot this one!!! its kinda ironic how it was one of the fics i had a plan for but it ended up being the last one lmaooo and also @eternalgyuuu w the banner<3 BUT my dudes its the last fic of the 2 year event!! thank u for sticking around - both around me and the event hehe - i'm very grateful <3 i hope you more or less enjoyed it!!!
summary. when a stranger keeps you company
warnings. its said that there was a creepy man following yn:(
word count. 1339
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seungcheol has a good heart. 
no matter how scary may he look or how tough may he act, deep down he always has and will have a pure heart. 
he never considered it a flaw. not even now, that he is way too far from the stop where he was supposed to get off. in the middle of the week, at almost 1am. 
but he can’t leave you alone, can he? 
it’s not like he knows you… but on his way home at this late hour, he listened to music and just drifted away. the subway was gradually emptying, not many people going as far as him. 
but there was this one girl, who must have entered before him – you were already here, dozed off, when he took the subway. 
he glanced at you, subconsciously smiling at how cute you are. that was another thing about seungcheol – he was so pure. upon seeing an adorable thing, person or anything else, he’d always smile and adore it. 
and today it just happened to be you. he liked to think about others – one would call it being nosy but he genuinely cared about people, even strangers. 
so when he was about to approach his stop and leave, he furrowed his brows. there was this one man at the end of the subway car, eyeing you from time to time. 
and seungcheol despite glaring at him and having an overall intimidating aura (especially with the freshly dyed red hair) didn’t manage to scare him off. he just had a bad feeling and decided to wait for you to wake up. 
the creep must have been either stupid or stupidly stubborn since he just shrugged and relaxed in his seat. 
which is why now seungcheol is 13 stops away from his house and at the end of the line. 
the subway halted, announcing it’s the last stop. 
he sighed and stood up, observing with a corner of his eye how the stranger left the car. 
seungcheol stretched and sat next to you, hearing a muffled sound of a studio ghibli soundtrack playing in your earphones. he tapped your shoulder gently, observing your reaction.
you seemed to gradually wake up – scrunching your nose, stretching, opening an eye open, fighting a yawn and then finally, a sleepy gaze meeting his. 
your eyes widened upon seeing an unfamiliar man this close to you and he immediately moved a bit further.
“sorry to wake you up, it’s just… it’s the last stop” he smiled and you noticed his cute dimples. nodding, you grabbed your purse and blinked slowly. 
“um, thank you. i get off here either way but i really appreciate it” you sent him a warm smile and you two left the subway. 
the weather was a bit stuffy but it was nice to catch some fresh air. you saw the stranger looking at something behind your back. 
“do you get off here too?” you asked hesitantly. 
you take this route everyday at this hour, after work. you should’ve recognized his face if he was a regular too – especially with his handsome face and bright red hair. he shook his head softly. 
“i don’t” he smiled tenderly and his cute, brown eyes moved to need yours “i… there was a weird guy, he’s over there. i couldn’t bring myself to leave you alone. sorry if that made you uncomfortable”
you felt your stomach twist at the thought of some weirdo following you but then… the man in front of you willingly missed his stop to prevent anything from happening.
“what’s, uhm, your name? if i can…” you didn’t finish, shyness taking over you. but the redhead grinned, the cute dimples poking out again. 
“seungcheol. and yours?” he asked, hiding his hands in the pocket of his jean jacket. 
“y/n” you introduced yourself, unable to stop your own lips from forming into a smile – the gesture was too infectious not to do so. “seungcheol, thank you so much. you’re a real gentleman, i thought… there’s no good left in the world. but you proved me wrong
he scoffed, shaking his head. 
“no problem” he grinned and hesitated for a moment, biting down on his plump bottom lip. then he whipped out his phone in a cherry case and checked the time “i still have like…  half an hour before the next ride. and i would sleep way more peacefully if i knew you arrived home safe. can i walk you back?” 
normally, you’d decline. but upon slightly turning around you noticed a weird man glancing at you two. besides, you had a good feeling about seungcheol. maybe you shouldn’t… but there was just something so warm and genuine about him that you agreed. 
with a small nod, you grabbed his arm. turning around, you passed the man. 
“i know we’re strangers but sleeping on the subway doesn’t seem like a safe idea” seungcheol said softly. 
the night was peaceful, stars shining beautifully on the navy sky. a soft gust of wind blew in your face, running through your hair. 
“i don’t usually do this, don’t worry” you scoffed and fixed the bag on your arm. “today was just exhausting and i made the mistake of putting some calm songs” 
he smiled and took a glance over his shoulder. the man was nowhere to be seen. good. 
you had a small talk with him since your walk home usually takes up to 10 minutes. upon arriving at the entrance to the staircase, you slowly let go of his arm. stepping at the stair so you’d be on his eye level, he grinned cutely at the gesture. 
“i really appreciate your gesture, seungcheol. i know i said it like, five times already but… you know” you said shyly, fidgeting with a strap of your bag.
“and as i said: no problem. seriously, y/n” the man nodded and your eyes suddenly widened. 
“wait here a second!” you gasped and entered the code. seungcheol only saw a glimpse of you disappearing in the hallway. 
seungcheol let out a scoff and hid his hands in the pockets of his jacket, suddenly taking a deep breath.
you’re so adorable. 
just when he was about to check the time, the door swung open and you appeared in them again. there was a silver package in your hand, your chest moving up and down irregularly.
“the… stairs…” you breathed out and he laughed, noticing your messy hair. “i almost… tripped…”
shaking your head, you put the item in his calloused hand.
“i made you a quick sandwich. i figured you’re hungry and to even slightly return the favour, you know?” you smiled and tucked your hands in the pocket of your jeans. he smiled sweetly, his heart melting on the spot “it’s, um, lettuce, ham and cheese. nothing crazy, sorry”
“thank you so much. i bet it’ll be delicious” he hummed and silence fell between you two. 
seungcheol bit his bottom lip. 
he had only one shot. he had to be casual.
“um, i was wondering–”
“hey, if you ever–” 
you exchanged surprised looks when your voices merged upon speaking up at the same time. you both laughed, cute wrinkles forming around his eyes. 
“you go first” you insisted.
“if you ever need like… a scary dog privilege or some help, i can give you my number” he said with a boyish smile. the words were said and now… 
“even help with ordering a coffee?” you asked. seungcheol caught the hidden meaning and just nodded. 
“of course” he said and you exchanged numbers, moonlight shining on his handsome face. 
“and um, text me when you get home. i wanna know if my guard arrived safely too” you hummed, wrapping your arms around your torso. seungcheol saluted and slowly began to walk away back to the station. 
you stood there until he disappeared from your sight and he turned around like, 3 times. 
with heart thumping in your chest and a foolish smile on his face, cheol was glad he took that one shot.
main masterlist | event masterlist
taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @mon2sunjinsuver,, @eternalgyuuu ,, @rubywonu ,, @haecien ,, @mine-gyu
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daisynik7 · 5 months
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Pairing: Ino Takuma x f!reader
Rating: Explicit - minors do not interact!
Word Count: ~2.5k
cw: next-door neighbor Ino, friends-to-lovers trope, explicit language, smut - cunnilingus
Summary: Ino is the cute guy next door that you’ve befriended ever since you moved in. He’s been nothing but kind to you, and sure, there’s attraction there, but you’ve never acted on it considering you’re already taken. When you find out your long-distance boyfriend is a good-for-nothing cheater, you turn to your friend for comfort, and maybe something more.
Author's Note: My adoration for this man grows everyday! This one is kind of a tease, but I hope you still enjoy it! MDNI divider credit to @/cafekitsune! Taglist: @slvt-for-smut @man-knees @batafuraikisu @neverlandlostchild @bloompompom @dprkento @a-listaire @antique-remains @aiyaaayei
part 5 of to all the boys who live next door anthology series
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It's a cold Friday night in the middle of winter when you find out your boyfriend of two years is cheating on you. 
Kenzo is studying for his master’s degree overseas while you remain in your hometown, patiently waiting for his return. You’ve been long distance for almost a year now and while it’s difficult being apart, it’s mostly been manageable. Or so you thought. 
You’re eating dinner with your next-door neighbor, Ino, when Kenzo finally texts you back. He’s been busy studying in the library for his upcoming exams and you haven’t heard much from him all day. When you see his name in your notifications, you can’t help but get excited, dropping your chopsticks to reply to him.
Kenzo: I’m finally home 
You: Yay! Let’s talk soon
Ino prepared hot pot this evening, offering to treat you for the dinner you cooked the other night. The two of you have grown close over these past several months, enough to call each other friends. You’ve never hidden your friendship from Kenzo, who isn’t typically the jealous type. So when you tell him that you’re finishing up with your meal with Ino, you’re surprised when he sends you a rather blunt reply.
Kenzo: Can you hurry up? I have somewhere to be and can’t talk long
Your heart sinks. He never mentioned having any plans later, so you have no idea where he’s going. Ino continues to slurp on his soup innocently across from you. 
You swallow hard, this sense of dread building in your stomach, making you lose your appetite. “Sorry, Ino. I have to go.”
He wipes his mouth with a napkin, looking at you, concerned. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” you answer, avoiding his gaze. “I just have to talk to Kenzo right now before he leaves. I guess he’s going out tonight.” You stand up, guilty about your boyfriend and about abandoning your friend. “Thank you for dinner. I’ll be back later to help you clean up.”
He waves it off, giving you a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry about it. Go do your thing with Kenzo. I’ve got all this taken care of.” 
You smile back at him, thankful to have a neighbor so understanding and so sweet. 
Back in your apartment, you rush into your bedroom, inspecting the mirror quickly to check your appearance before turning on your laptop for the video call. It takes him three rings to pick up. When he does, he greets you with a surly expression. “Hey.”
You smile hesitantly, nervous that he’s upset at you for whatever reason. “Hey. Is everything okay?”
He sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair. In the two years you’ve been dating him, you recognize this habit of his when he’s bothered by something. “Long day.” 
“You want to talk about it?”
He contemplates, then shakes his head, deciding to change the subject all together. “Did you enjoy dinner?” 
It’s doesn’t seem like a genuine ask. Still, you relax a bit, hoping his bad attitude is from exhaustion and nothing to do with you. “Yeah. Ino made hot pot tonight. I wasn’t able to finish it, but everything I ate so far was really good.”
This seems to strike a nerve in him. There’s that distinguishable twitch in his right eye, another indicator that he’s irritated. “Well, I’m sorry for taking you away from him,” he sneers. “Maybe you should go back to your other boyfriend now to finish your fucking dinner.”
In the one year you’ve been long distance, he’s never snapped at you like this, so you’re startled by his current demeanor. “What?”
He rolls his eyes at you. “It’s obvious you want to fuck him.”
Flabbergasted by this accusation, you repeat, “What?! Kenzo!”
“Why do you spend so much time with him, huh? You really expect me to believe you’re just friends?” His tone is so condescending, your skin prickles, grossed out by his behavior
“Where is this coming from? You never had a problem with Ino before.” You’re completely baffled. Never has he mentioned that he’s suspicious of your neighbor. He’s never had a reason to be. Why now?
He continues to huff into the mic, clearly frazzled by the entire situation. “I think this whole thing is just fucked up. So fucked up.” There’s the sound of vibrating on his desk, most likely his phone. You can see his eyes glancing to the side, reading whatever notification he received.
Bringing his attention back to the matter at hand, you calmly explain, “Kenzo. I promise you, there is nothinggoing on between me and Ino. He’s just a friend. Please believe me.”
Still distracted, he mutters, “I have to go.”
You’re getting desperate now. “Kenzo, wait. We should talk about this – ”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay?” he snaps, glaring at you. “I’ve had a rough day and I need to relax.”
“Kenzo, please,” you beg him.
He considers it for a moment. Then, in the background, you can hear knocking, bringing him back from his thoughts. “I have to go.”
Defeated, you nod, not pushing it any further. Without a proper goodbye, he clicks on his keyboard and rushes off to answer whoever’s at his front door, thinking he properly left the call. However, he’s still logged on, and you can see everything. And soon, you’ll hear everything.
You don’t get the chance to end the call yourself. It all happens so quickly. The thud of the door closing, the unfamiliar voice of a woman, their footsteps and conversation growing louder as they enter the bedroom. You’re tuned in on the laptop, watching them with wide eyes, frozen. Like watching a trainwreck happening in front of you. Actually, it’s more like you’re the one getting trampled. 
His back faces the camera, arms wrapped around another girl, his lips smacking noisily from their careless kisses. You sit there, mouth agape at what you’re currently witnessing, holding your breath.
“I can’t wait to fuck this pussy,” he groans, unbuckling his pants. You resist the urge to dry heave at how disgusting he sounds.  
“Yeah?” she giggles. “It’s only been two days and you miss it already?”
“Fuck yeah,” he responds, sucking on her neck, groping her chest. 
Before they can strip any more of their clothes off, you yell out his name, startling the both of them. “Kenzo! What the fuck?!” You don’t realize until now that tears are streaming down your cheeks, your throat dry and tight, struggling to get the words out. 
He whips around towards the laptop, horror surrounding his face as he realizes, gawking at you through the screen, stammering his words. “What are you doing?!”
“What are you doing, asshole?!” 
“Ken, who is that?” she asks, genuinely confused, stepping closer to you to get a better look. 
“I’m his girlfriend,” you answer, trembling with anger. “Actually, I am now his ex-girlfriend.”
“You have a girlfriend?!” she shrieks, crossing her arms over her chest. 
“Had a girlfriend,” you correct her. “He’s all yours if you want him.”
He puts his face right up to the screen, his appearance making your skin crawl. “This is a big misunderstanding.”
“I heard what you said. I fucking saw what you did! How long?”
“This is the first time – ”
“A month,” the other woman answers, staring down at the floor, guilty. “We’ve been hooking up for a month. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”
Kenzo turns to her, then back to you, sputtering nonsense. Apologies, excuses, just complete and utter bullshit. His bizarre behavior from earlier starts to make sense now. He was projecting whatever guilt he was suffering onto you. But while your conscience remains clean, his is sullied. Defiled, dirty, and ruined by his own volitions. 
Having heard and seen enough, you hang up, slamming your laptop shut, sobbing into the palms of your hands. 
~~~
Half an hour later, you leave your apartment, dragging your feet towards next door. Your eyes are puffy, cheeks sticky from unwiped tears, overwhelmed with emotion. Anger, heartbreak, and betrayal all at once. Kenzo’s been trying to reach you since you hung up on him, but you’ve ignored him each time, tempted to block him and be done with it once and for all However, you can’t bring yourself to do it yet. Maybe there’s just a small part of you that wants to spite him; you just don’t know how.
When Ino answers, you immediately launch into him, burying your face in his shoulder, crying. It can’t be helped. You need a friend. He doesn’t need to process it; being sweet is second-nature to him. He wraps his arms around you, massaging your back gently, squeezing you snug in his embrace. “What happened?”
Between sobs, you manage to reply, “Kenzo cheated on me.”
He tenses up, outraged. “What?”
You nod, wiping your face on the cotton of his sweatshirt, making a note in your mind to apologize for this later. 
“I’m so sorry,” he says, hands still gentle along your spine. His touch is comforting, exactly what you need to dull the pain. He lets you indulge in his warmth for a moment, not speaking, listening to your ragged breathing steady. 
Once the tears stop and you’re composed enough, you remove yourself from him, wiping your wet cheeks with your sleeve. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle.
He laughs softly. “Why are you apologizing?”
“I feel bad for bothering you.”
“You’re not.” He holds his hand out. “Do you want to talk about it inside?”
You nod, taking his hand, following him into his apartment, where he leads you to the couch. He passes you a tissue box, though you’re sure you’ve run out of tears by now. You’re alone sulking for a few minutes while he brews you a hot mug of tea, setting it on the coffee table when he returns. “Thank you,” you say, smiling at him. His presence alone has been comforting enough, but you hold the porcelain cup in your hands, basking in its soothing heat. 
“Of course,” he grins, sitting next to you.
You rest your head on his shoulder. “You’re a great friend, Ino.”
He slides his fingers between yours, lacing them together. “You are too.”
This kind of intimacy feels natural with him, which is what surprises you. His hand fits so easily with yours, you begin to wonder why you haven’t held it before, why you haven’t been doing this from the start. Ino’s always treated you kindly, more than a neighbor should, better than your good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend ever did, and without asking for anything in return except your company. 
Your heart thumps loudly against your chest, you’re sure that even he can hear it. You turn your head to look at him, so close that your noses are nearly touching. Swallowing thickly, you try to say something, anything, but you can’t, unable to articulate what you’re feeling in this moment. 
He shrugs his beanie off, nuzzling his nose to yours. “Since we’re friends, let me take care of you. I’ll make you feel good. Make you forget about that asshole.”
It takes you a while to reply to him, but you do. “Okay, Ino,” you whisper, closing the small distance between you, staring at his mouth. “I trust you.” 
He kisses you, gentle and almost too sweet, you want to savor it. When his tongue grazes your lip, you moan into his mouth, letting your inhibitions loose. You’re no longer thinking about the events from earlier this night. Instead, all you focus on is Ino and how good he feels against you. He increases the pace, kisses growing sloppier, your hands running through his hair while his roam your back. He trails along your neck, then down to your stomach, lower and lower until his hands are on your knees, gradually spreading your legs apart. “Can I?”
He doesn’t have to spell it out. You know exactly what he’s offering. And who are you to deny his generosity? After all, what are friends for? 
“Please,” you beg him, brushing the hair away from his forehead, making sure he gets a good look at your pleading eyes. You need him to make you forget about everything. 
He makes quick work of your clothes, stripping your bottoms and underwear off in one fell swoop, positioning himself between your thighs. “Call me Takuma,” he tells you, smooching your plush skin. 
You let out a pathetic whimper as he flattens his tongue on your clit, stroking it slowly. He goes faster and messier the more his name pours out of your mouth in pleasured moans. It doesn’t take long for you to reach your first climax, grip tight in his hair, knees trembling from the stimulation. He doesn’t let up, though. Ino continues to eat you out until you’re pliant on the couch, yielding to every lick, suck, and stroke he delivers you. Your pussy throbs for him, wet and slick from your orgasms, ready to be filled with his cock.
Suddenly, your phone rings and you’re brought back to a grim reality, one where Kenzo still exists. His name flashes on the screen, requesting to video chat you for the umpteenth time tonight, trying to apologize for a sin that can’t be forgiven. You reach for the coffee table to silence your phone, wanting to ignore him. “Fuck, he’s calling me again. Sorry.”
“Answer it,” Ino says, still lapping at your puffy clit.
You laugh, looking down at him, certain that you heard him wrong. “What?”
He gazes up at you, lips all wet and swollen from devouring you. Drool leaks from the sides of his mouth, his chin shiny with spit and slick. His cheeks are rosy, eyes laden with lust. He smiles at you, endearing and sweet, with just the hint of wicked intent behind it. “Show him how good I treat you.”
Something stirs inside you. This is an opportunity to get your revenge. And sure, it’s petty and vindictive, but you’re a woman scorned by the man you loved, the man you thought loved you. Why shouldn’t you be?
Before you can chicken out, you point the camera towards Ino, who smirks, diving right back into your cunt, being extra loud this time. You answer the phone, Kenzo’s face maximizing on the screen, calling out your name, relieved you picked up. When he realizes what he’s watching, hearing you moan Ino’s name like you used to moan his, Kenzo’s expression contorts into one of rage, disgust. He starts cursing like a madman, shouting at Ino, at you. You drown it out with your own profanities. “Fuck, Takuma, right there! Right there! Oh fuck!”
Kenzo hangs up the call after he gets one more cruel remark in, but you don’t care. You’ve gotten your payback. Maybe it’s not enough, maybe it is. For now, all you want is to be with Ino, no more distractions. “Fuck me,” you whine, tugging on his brunette strands.
He crawls over you, kissing you passionately with wet lips. “Whatever you want, sweetheart. Whatever you want.”
It’s safe to say that you and Ino become much better friends after tonight. 
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stevebabey · 1 year
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the swindling of steve harrington’s heart
word count: 9.5k synopsis: you write for the advice column in the hawkins post, under the pen name gabby. you get a letter asking for advice about a first date and there’s no way it’s the same guy you’ve just landed a first date with, right? steve harrington doesn’t need help with his dates... right? [based on this post] [fem!reader + strangers to lovers but… steve’s a big sap for you already, ok?]
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The first letter comes in on a Tuesday. 
It’s posted in an ordinary envelope, with only a messy scrawl on the front to dictate that it was for the advice column of Hawkins Post. Inside revealed the same loopy letters, on a single piece of paper, reading: 
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Out of all the letters you’ve ever received at this job, most of which were lengthy admissions of troubles in suburbia, this one was by far the most interesting one you’d gotten all month. All year if you were being honest.
Writing advice under the pen name Gabby for your local paper likely wasn’t anyone’s first choice of job, not at least for those serious about writing as yourself was.
But between flipping burgers down at Benny’s and slinging shakes at Rita’s Diner, it seemed the lesser of all evils. And hey, it paid decently enough and you had a sweet little set-up in one of the drowsy corners of the office. 
It’s how you wind up here, scanning over the letter from one mysterious S.
It’s penned on some spare paper, nothing special. It wasn’t even lined paper like you might usually use for sending a letter of any sorts. It intrigued you the moment it had been dropped into your basket.
Hands flipping through the 4 other letters in there, rows of soft pink and blue envelopes, all with familiar handwriting, you determined that this one was, indeed, a new writer.
You practically devoured it from the first line. Gossip was rampant in Hawkins, like all small towns, but it was not so often shared so publicly with the paper, despite the anonymity that came with the advice column.
Most people in Hawkins seemed to come for advice on outshining their neighbours with a peach cobbler. Some asked whether jazzercise really was the go. There were very few sad tales of love in between the mush.
But this? Even just from the use of the word crush, you knew this wasn’t the average housewife talking midlife marital issues. This was someone your age.
It’s just a little bit funny, you admit — you, yourself, couldn’t imagine ever turning to the local paper to seek out love-life advice. Especially considering none of your previous replies as Gabby implied you had expertise in that area.
You decided it meant they were truly desperate or perhaps completely a hopeless romantic, or a bit of both.
But you couldn’t lie, either way, it’s entirely endearing to you.
It didn’t matter that it was probably someone who had no ‘game’, it was entirely completely made up by the fact they were clearly trying very hard, very genuinely.
They cared enough about getting things right. Whoever they were wooing was very lucky— re-reading over the short letter shoots a grimy wave of envy through your chest. When was the last time someone cared that much about a first date with you? About any date with you? The answer was… probably, never.
It didn’t help either that you had just landed yourself a date. A date with Steve Harrington.
For just a moment, a very brief moment, you look down at the signed S and wonder: would he?
No, he wouldn’t, you decide swiftly. The fragile hope that briefly hung up on the idea is shaken off as you recall his charismatic nature, his easy grin when he asked you out just the other week.
There had been a bit of nervousness, sure, but when you consider the dating history he’d had through high school, well… You feel embarrassed for even considering it. 
King Steve Harrington doesn’t need help with his dates.
Besides, the letter clearly states this was S’s long-time crush. You were fairly certain that if the school’s golden boy harboured any sort of feelings for you, it wouldn’t have slipped past your radar.
Last time you checked, Steve had only noticed you when you had gone into Family Video the other week — when he had promptly asked if you wanted to see a movie together sometime.
Sure, it hadn’t been nearly as smooth as you expected, though, that wasn’t to say you weren’t charmed. You’d heard a lot about Steve— though, who at Hawkins High hadn’t?
He had been that customer-service type of welcoming, hands braced against the countertop as he leaned into it, a handsome smile on his face.
You had pretended your stare didn’t linger on his arms. Or that you were drinking in all the subtle changes to himself, physically and more, since his primped-up freshmen-self. 
You had even admitted to yourself that he managed to pull off the dweeby Family Video vest, trailing behind him as he led you both to the action-film section.
Steve had stood close enough that you could feel the warmth emanating from him, and had helped debate your choice. He didn’t even comment when you got distracted looking at his arms when he crossed them, even though he smiled a little more smugly, having seen your wandering eyes.
Like it was your fault he had gorgeous, tanned, toned arms that made you want to drool.
But even with all his suaveness, Steve still looked surprised when you laughed at his joke, or his attempt at one — and then some of his coolness seemed to flee.
He had fumbled through the whole interaction of checking out your film and asked if you’d like to ‘maybe if you want, totally cool if not’, wanted to watch one with him sometime.
You think you’d say yes all over again just to see the way he had lit up. He positively beamed, then swiftly ducked his head to hide his hasty grin.
Saturday at 8, you’d agreed on. At the Hawk. He’d pay for the tickets and you’d shout the snacks. It’s a date, were his exact words. He had looked extra delighted when you had repeated them back to him with a nervous grin of your own.
It’s what you think of as you peer down at the letter in your hands, loopy scrawls telling a plea in love. You think about what you hope you’ll get on a first date — with Steve or anyone, for that matter — and pull up a new sheet to draft a response.
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It’s about the only advice you can give. Truthfully, dates fail for a multitude of reasons that change on a day-to-day basis and if this S just didn’t match with their date, well… that was out of your hands.
But if S liked them this much, enough to reach out to the murky depths of the local paper’s advice column, then they should show that. If nothing else, you’re sure their date would be flattered at their sincerity.
Try as you might not, the letter plagues your mind as you leave work. Your response sits on your desk, penned up and ready to be printed for the Friday morning paper, hopefully giving enough time to your advice-seeking S.
By Saturday, however, it’s the last thing on your mind — it’s hard for anything else to occupy it when it bubbles away blissfully at the thought of your date later in the evening.
You try to not let your thoughts carry away with what Steve might wear, what film you’d watch, whether you’d be able to sneakily hold his hand in the shadows of the cinema.
It plays a romantic pink-saturated loop in your brain, daydreaming of some silly kiss in the back row because Steve just can’t resist, he’s had a crush on you for so long— okay, maybe the letter was on your mind just a little.
But 8 o’clock whirls around faster than you expect and you arrive outside the cinema with only a couple minutes to spare. You’re more than relieved to see Steve already there, leaning up against the brick wall where the upcoming movies are showcased, bathed in soft golden light. 
He’s got on a pair of dark wash jeans and the polo he’s wearing stretches around his arms deliciously, forcing a giddy sigh from your lips.
There’s a jacket slung over his crossed arms and one of his feet is tapping rapidly against the ground. Even from afar, you can see him worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Your heart spurs faster at the sight. He’s nervous.
“Steve!” You call out, unable to help how you’re already smiling like a lovesick fool. It doesn’t help when Steve’s head pops up, his hair bouncing just a bit. He lights up at the sight of you, features moving from worry to something happier. 
He straightens up, back scraping the bricks, and he steps forward to meet you in the middle.
“Hey,” he breathes, a grin stretching over his lips. This close, you can smell the cologne he’s wearing— something musky, with a hint of bergamot — and your head spins, all dizzy with delight.
“Hey, yourself.” You reply as playfully as you can manage. You swallow back another wave of nerves.
Fuck, was he this pretty when he asked you out? In the space of a couple of days, he seems to have gotten even more attractive. He’s got that entire look about him that reminds you of a daydream.
“You look, uh, really lovely tonight.” Steve compliments, tucking his hands into his front pockets nervously. He sounds so sincere it aches, the words worming under your skin til you believe them completely; he really does think you look lovely.
It’s a strange moment of consideration you find yourself having. You’re here, on a date with Steve Harrington and he thinks you look really lovely.
It’s not like you hadn’t heard the rumours about the cosmic shift in the King of Hawkins High — going from sneering at other kids in the hallways to cleaning off graffiti on his own accord. 
Yet, some small part of you is still delightfully surprised, as though it had been unconvinced until you had seen it for yourself. In the past, a part of you had been truly miffed at the waste of a pretty face on a douchebag like King Steve. 
Now, it’s like an entirely different person. When Steve offers you another smile, earnest and sweet, you’re secretly glad to get to be the one who takes a chance on him.
You come to a standstill at the back of the winding line outside the ticket booth, the pair of you lingering closer than needed. The brush of his shoulder against your own feels blazing, a streak of warmth. You hope he can’t feel your resounding shiver— and half-hope that he does and gets closer because of it.
“That— uh, thank you,” you manage to remember your words. Even better, you manage to accept the compliment semi-regularly, even though your insides are knitting themselves into a tangle of nervous anticipation.
“You too. Look nice!” You say, louder than you intend. The girl ahead of you peers over her shoulder and somehow even that’s not enough to keep your mouth from running. “I mean, you sort of always look good. That’s kinda—” you wave your hand over him generally, “—your thing. Looking… nice.”
Dear god stop, you will yourself, mouth snapping shut and eyes following quickly, screwed up in embarrassment. Way to completely disregard the advice you gave a stranger and pile on the appearance-based compliments.
You do your best to hide your wince as you peek your eyes back open. It’s a relief to see Steve chuckle good-naturedly, a delicate pink touching the apples of his cheeks.
“You know,” Steve begins as the line ambles forward slowly. His gaze switches between the ground and you, too nervous to commit to looking you straight on. “I didn’t just ask you out because you’re pretty.” 
He pauses. Rethinks his words and makes a hasty correction. “I do! Think that you’re pretty, that is.”
His quick assurance makes you laugh just a bit and you hide it behind a bitten-back smile. Steve stops examining his shoes for a moment, glancing to check you haven’t taken his words the wrong way.
Your heart feels like it does a forward roll in your chest, seeing his even pinker cheeks. God, in what world do you make Steve Harrington so nervous?
“I just—” Steve continues, shoulders hiking up a bit, another nervous motion. “I don’t want you to think that that’s the only reason, I asked. I like that you’re nice. You’ve always been nice.”
You blink at him. In a moment of clarity, a couple of revelations roll through your mind, each one steamrolling the last one before you can grapple each one properly.
Revelation No. 1. is the fact that Steve had noticed you. Past tense. Noticed you enough to think you’re nice and bookmark that in his brain. He remembers things about you. And then— then he had made a special effort to compliment you. Specifically outside of your appearance.
And hadn’t you just given specific advice like that? You had! You had given advice to an anonymous person known only as S, with instructions for their first date. Their first date with their long-time crush.
Which means... you’re Steve Harrington’s long-term crush. Which means, oh my god, Steve Harrington accidentally wrote into your job to ask you for advice on his date with you.
The result of the revelations, each one blooming quickly as the one before it, leaves you entirely speechless for a moment. Baffled. You gape like a fish, mouth flapping around empty words. You can’t quite compute it. Steve? Steve is the one who wrote to the local paper for advice? Steve Harrington wrote in for advice about a date with you? His long-term crush?
You’re thankful Steve’s nervous enough to not look at you because, for a silent 10 seconds, you’re sure every emotion from ecstatic and bewildered crosses your features. What in the actual hell?
You’re not sure how you expect yourself to continue this date and act like a regular person, knowing what you know.
And, more importantly, should you tell Steve? 
You get about 10 more seconds of floundering to debate it, tossing up a thousand different ways this entire evening could change if you reveal yourself.
Steve would be embarrassed. Steve would be angry. Steve wouldn’t believe you and just think you’re messing with him. Steve didn’t even write the letter and you’ve connected dots that don’t even exist.
You can’t pinpoint which one is the truth. You truthfully don’t know Steve well enough to predict how he might react, no matter how sweet he may have been. A realisation of how quiet you’ve been rolls through you when Steve’s head pulls up, concern knitting his brows together.
Something else altogether comes out of your mouth instead.
“You noticed me?”
Steve goes even more red. It’s a glorious sight and in an instant, you can tell he hasn’t meant to give that much away. The line shuffles forward and Steve seems thankful for it, clearing his throat and eyeing the ticket box ahead like he was wishing you were both there already. There’s only one more couple ahead of you.
“Is that weird?” He says after a moment, his voice a bit smaller than before.
“What?” You say, because it’s the last thing you’re expecting him to say. “No! I’m sorry I didn’t— that wasn’t an accusation!”
You mull over your thoughts, trying your best to put into words how it had actually made you feel. How it had soaked your inside with giddiness, not with worry. 
“It’s... really sweet, actually.” You admit, feeling bold enough to nudge your shoulder against his.
“Yeah?” Steve asks, the question said so earnestly it’s like he’s not quite sure he believes you.
“I mean,” You smile, sneaking a nervous glance sideways at him. He’s watching you, expression hinting at anticipation. You nod, continuing, “I’m glad you didn’t just ask me out because you think I’m pretty.”
The last word comes out a bit strained. It feels strange to admit it out loud even with the way Steve looks at you; little glitters of adoration in his eyes.
“It’s-” You clear your throat and bite back a smile that might be too eager. “It’s nice to be noticed.” 
Steve makes a small sound of content, like some sort of pleased hum. Then the couple ahead of you is moving and it’s your turn to step up for tickets.
You hurry through tickets and snacks, getting a packet of Reese's Pieces, some popcorn, and one huge cup of soda with two neon-coloured straws sticking out. When you duck through the velvet curtains at the theatre doors, arm already looped through Steve’s, it feels like you’re entering not as two people but as something closer. 
The evening whirls by in a lavender haze and Steve is nothing short of everything sweet and charming. Even with his nerves tripping him up now and then, it’s all endearing to you.
You two are the last ones out of the cinema, ushered out by bored employees whose glaring only deepened when they realised you and Steve had conducted a popcorn throwing competition between yourselves. You had been left in the dust, with Steve catching near every piece you threw at him. You were less gracious, salt smearing on your cheeks from so many missed throws. 
By the time you’re both back out the front, the night has found a chill to drape across the evening. The sky glitters darkly. The bulbs surrounding the front of the cinema glow and crackle quietly and you’re pleasantly delighted to find you don’t want to leave just yet.
“Hey,” Steve starts. He’s stuffed his hands in his pockets but you can see them twisting about nervously. “Yanno, I had a really good time tonight.”
You can see the moment he bites his tongue and holds back another sentence. You smile as encouragingly as you can — though something about how well the night has gone has your courage growing, doubling, tripling in size.
“Me too.” You admit. You ignore how your palms start to dampen just a titch and seize the words before your nerve fails you. “Did you— do you want to do it again, maybe?”
Steve nods, a stray strand of his hair escaping with the enthusiasm of the motion. He chuckles a bit, pushes it back, and steps closer. “Yes. I mean, yes, of course. You’re... this was so lovely.”
There’s a stir ecstatically in your chest in his words, which drip in sincerity. 
“Thank you,” you murmur, head ducked in shyness. It’s still strange, for someone to be so forward in their affections to you. “Um, should I- I could give you my number?”
Steve nods again, just as fervently as last time. He’s somehow gotten closer in just the few minutes you’ve been speaking like there’s a magnetism within you that he can’t resist.
“Yeah, totally! Did you — I don’t have a pen, I’m sorry,” He chuckles again. His hand scratches at the back of his neck.
You’re thankful for your insane preparedness, digging through your bag to produce a pen. By the time you pop the cap off it, a green marker, Steve’s already rolled back his sleeve. He holds out his arm.
“Your canvas awaits,” He jokes. Your smile grows into a grin, almost ashamed of how funny you found that. God, crushes made you stupid — though thankfully Steve seems to grin wider at hearing your laugh.
You curl your fingers around his wrist to hold his arm still. He’s warm, hot blood pumping beneath your touch. You try not to focus on how you can feel his pulse under your fingertips, nor how it’s racing far faster than normal. After your number, you hesitate for a moment before adding a quick doodle of a heart. It’s sloppy, not exactly your best work. 
Steve loves it. The moment you release his arm, he thumbs over the heart. Steve looks up at you, an infectious type of smile on his face now. “I’ll give you a call, yeah?”
You nod, tucking your hands in your pocket. You’re unable to stop yourself from rocking up onto the balls of your feet in your excitement. 
“Uh, you should probably call after 9 unless you want to meet my mom already.”
Steve huffs a laugh. “Got it. After 9. No meeting mom just yet.” He promises.
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This time, reading the letter feels like there’s sparking gunpowder littered in your very heart — lighting it up in a frenzy of fire in your chest as you read. It’s impossible to do anything except inhale each new word. You felt a little bad, sure, reading a review of your own date but then again, it was your job.
Besides, you’d tell Steve. When... Well, alright, you weren’t totally sure when you were going to tell him.
Definitely not before the next date. It was still fragile — and some part knew that if you told him, there was a good chance Steve would be too embarrassed. Would work himself up over it and it would ruin everything.
It was like... a souffle. You had to take it out of the oven at the right time; too soon, and everything would sink in on itself.
So, you decided to wait it out. Dish out some more advice and... see how the next date went.
You write back, There isn’t such a thing as giving too much away. This girl will be flattered to know you care as much as you do. Take her somewhere special to you.
It’s just enough of a nudge you think. ‘Somewhere special’ was a wide-open prompt that Steve could interpret as he liked. He could pick just how intimate the next date would be. You promise to yourself quietly, that if you get a third date, you’ll tell him then. 
Steve calls you the night after your responding advice is published in The Hawkins Post. 10 minutes past 9pm. He tells you, voice low and sweet, that he’s got a surprise spot in mind.
“If you’re up for that,” Steve hastily tacks on. “We don’t have to. I’m- we can go out for dinner if you’d prefer that. I totally love dinner.”
Faintly through the phone, you hear the quiet noise, like a thud. You have to smother down a giggle as you realise Steve’s smacked himself with the phone in his own exasperation.
“I’m up for a surprise,” You assure him, clutching the phone a bit tighter in your excitement. “That sounds fun.”
“Fun,” Steve echoes, with a tone of disbelief. Like he hadn’t believed you’d agree until, well, you had. “Yes! It’ll be fun. So much. I hope so. When are you free?”
His words come out so quickly. You can’t hide your laugh this time, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip to try to dissuade the giddy grin threatening your lips. No dice. Nothing can stop your elation.
“What kind of surprise are we talking about?” You ask first, thinking over your next words, wondering if you’re brave enough to say them. You take the leap. “Because, well, I know it’s a Tuesday but I’m free tomorrow night and—“
“Yes.” Steve cuts in eagerly. “Tomorrow night, let’s do it. I can pick you up?”
“Okay,” you agree, nodding even though he can’t see it. You don’t think your grin can’t get any wider, barely contained enough to relay your address for him to jot down.
Tuesday evening is soft, the sky a pale blue that washes warmth over the day. Steve picks you up on time. He’s handsome as ever, leaning up against the driver's side door as he waits for you.
Your heart does a little skip when he straightens up upon spotting you, perking up like he had at the cinema. It reminds you faintly of a dog wagging its tail; his happiness at seeing you so visible to see. 
“Did you get prettier since the last time I saw you?” He says, in lieu of greeting as you trot down to meet him. You feel heat bloom beneath your cheeks.
“I-” Your nerves creep up and honesty takes over your words. “I don’t know how to answer that.” You titter out a laugh, a smile tugging at your mouth.
Steve hums as you come to a stop before him. He pretends to give you a serious once over, his eyes light and smile easy. His gaze comes back up to rest on your face before he nods firmly.
“Mmhm, it’s just as I expected.” He reports back, soft and genuine. “Prettier in every way.”
You laugh again, nervousness bleeding into the sound but his words sink into your skin warmly. Fingers twisting into your sweater, you try to rein in your rabbiting heart.
“You’re a goof, anyone ever tell you?”
Steve grins. “Never said I wasn’t. Now, your chariot awaits.”
He sweeps an arm to the car behind him.
He’s right, it is a surprise. You’re not entirely sure where you’d been anticipating — maybe his favourite spot to eat? But instead, he takes you to a clearing, with blankets of grass and wildflowers dotted across the landscape.
For a moment, when you creep out from his car, hands still clutching the edge of the door, you wonder if this is how he found Skull Rock and the likes — that maybe Steve Harrington was an explorer by nature. You think back to your advice and wonder; what makes this place special to him? 
Your heart twists, knowing that he’s taken your advice, even if some part of you tears up in guilt. You will tell him. You take solace in knowing there’s not much to be guilty of; telling him the best way to woo you is hardly terrible manipulation.
Sure, it’s swindling but... of the sweetest kind. You lead him to your heart and in return, get to steal his own.
Steve’s brought along a blanket and picnic for the two of you. There are crudely cut sandwiches, though you don’t doubt he’s tried his best, paired with punnets of ripe fat strawberries. It’s... adorable. Dizzily endearing, how much effort he’s put in for you.
Your heart aches a little more at his pink cheeks as he unpacks all this for you like he’s worried what you’ll think. He is worried about what you’ll think, you realise. Despite all you’ve heard and known about King Steve, your mind winds up thinking back to his letter... I don’t want her to get freaked out if I come on too strong.
A fire of determination burns in your chest. Loving loudly would never be— could never be something to hide. Nor to feel embarrassed over, not with you at least.
So, you start by trying to feed him a strawberry, like a thousand romance novels have taught you. Instead of a cute gesture, you smush it into his cheek instead by accident as he turns his face suddenly. An apology squeaks out of you.
“I’m— oh my god, I’m so sorry,” You’re wiping the red juice splattered on his cheek, your own cheeks feeling fiery and hot. Steve takes your endless apologies well, assuring away the beginnings of your mortification.
He only manages to truly stop your flow of embarrassed apologies by squishing a sandwich against your cheek as well, just to make it fair — a peel of your laughter fills the field, some of your nervousness floating away with it.
Then, just as you had, Steve wipes off the smear of cream cheese on your chin with his thumb, the motion soft and gentle. Your nerves jump around again.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” you begin, finally asking the question that’s been burning since you arrived. “Because I’m loving this date but… Why did you pick this spot?” 
You’re careful to word your question in a way that doesn’t give away what else you know. Beside you, Steve takes a moment to think. His eyes scan over your face before he tilts it back to face the clearing, his arms resting on his propped up knees.
He’s just a boy. A pretty boy on a picnic rug he brought along to your date, in a field of flowers that he took you to. You have the thought to compare him to a painting in this moment right as Steve starts to speak.
“I came up here a whole lot after,” Steve heaves a loud sigh like he’s regretful for what he’s about to bring up. “After me and Nancy broke up. It was good to get out of town and just, like, have my own time to think. To think about what I really wanted.” 
You dare to ask. “And did you figure it out? What you really wanted?” 
Steve glances over at you and smiles crookedly. It’s one of his real smiles, you’ve come to realise. “To not get my heart broken again, for starters. That just— that shit sucked, you know?” 
He laughs a little bitterly, more to himself, and steals another glance at you, like his words are a test and he’ll find an answer in your expression. You smile gently, hoping to convey every softness that you have for him. Every good intent. 
“Well, m’not looking to do that.” You admit truthfully. “Maybe, I’ll… I’ll ease the ache?” 
Steve seems to soften at your words, relaxing. His shoulders drop an inch. “I hope so.” 
“And maybe, I want a little bit of loverboy Steve Harrington for myself too.” You say, your smile turning more coy. It’s true that loverboy was one of the nicknames for Steve tossed around Hawkins High halls but it hadn’t really stuck the same way The Hair or King Steve had. Except for, well, secretly with you.
“Loverboy?” 
“That’s what they call you!” 
“And who are they?” Steve asks, some of his signature charm creeping back in. He smirks at you, leaning in closer and your breath hitches nervously. You grin despite it. 
“People!” 
“Uh huh…” 
Time flows easily around the two of you, weaving like the softest cocoon. As the sunset blossoms, the grassy clearing becomes breathtaking. The moment the sun dips below the horizon, dimming the sky and encouraging out the stars, you suddenly know why this is Steve’s special spot.
He stretches out on his back, eyes to the sky. You copy him. Two little bodies cocooned in the sweet grass, wrapped in the night-time.
“This might seem strange,” Steve starts. His brows are bunched together, thinking hard, but his expression lightens as he turns his face to you. “But... Thank you for coming out here with me. For trusting me.”
A beat of quiet. A wind ruffles over the clearing, a soft whistle in the night. Steve swallows nervously. “Was it a good surprise?”
His question is so earnest it aches. It’s so obvious that he just wants to do this right and well for you.
You know now that even without your advice through the paper, Steve would have charmed you all the same. That you might’ve taken another route and it might’ve taken another couple of dates before you got here, sharing secret spots— but that you’d end up here, with him, regardless.
“It was,” you tell him truthfully, chest glittering with happiness. You smile at him, nudging his shoulder with your own. “Thank you for showing me.”
Steve grins. He turns back to face the sky, eyes cinching shut for a moment. Breathes in the moment. You admire the dimple of his smile. His pretty mouth. His eyes peek back open as turns back to you, voice dropped down into a whisper, “You’re welcome.”
It feels like a little more than you’re welcome — like maybe, he’s thanking you too. You’re really thanking yourself too, for wandering into Family Video when you had, for saying yes to Steve, for giving yourself this chance with him.
Moonlight shadows across his face, strong brows and sloped nose even more defined in the dark. You stare, eyes dragging from mole to mole, avoiding his intense brown eyes that threaten to make everything in your chest melt pathetically.
Shit, is he going to kiss you? Your stomach jumps with a spike of pure want and you move forward— right as Steve sits up. Embarrassment flushes down your spine and you recoil back, sitting up quickly as Steve had but not quick enough.
“Wait,” Steve says suddenly, twisting to glance at where you’d both been lying just a moment. In your panic, you don’t hear the eagerness in his voice. “Were you gonna—?”
Somehow, it seems more embarrassing to admit it aloud. That you might have been ballsy enough to kiss Steve first. You shake your head without thinking about it, arms coming to curl around your knees. Fuck, you wish you had read that moment right.
“Uh,” You spit out stupidly. “No, no, it was just…” you clear your throat. The awkwardness of the moment is nearly painful.
“I mean, yes,” you correct yourself quietly, clearing your throat again. You don’t want Steve to think you don’t want to kiss him. “I was, but—“
“You were?” Steve sounds close to devastation. His expression has crumpled a bit, regret rippling off him in waves. Your stomach turns.
“It’s okay!” You assure him hurriedly. “It’s— you know, the moments gone but there’s always… next time, right?” Your voice comes out a bit tight.
Steve seems a tad bit relieved at your words, shoulders deflating an inch or so. He nods along, even though you can still see the tinge of embarrassment on his face — it’s adorable, that he’s the one feeling embarrassed like it wasn’t you who made a move at the wrong time.
“Yeah,” Steve hasn’t stopped nodding, even as his gaze has travelled off you, staring down at his hands. The furrow in his brow hasn’t eased up, still drawn together in the middle, even as he agrees, “Yeah, next time. Uh, totally.”
Then, his head jerks up in your direction. “I’m sorry, by the way, I didn’t mea—“
You wave him off, a nervous chuckle coming out. You sort of want to bury your missed kiss along with all your humiliation but with every other word but Steve keeps kicking off the dirt. “Seriously, it’s fine, Steve. Really.”
His nod isn’t all that convincing to say he believes you.
Regret festers deep in your gut when the evening seems to derail from that point on. Try as you might, you can tell Steve is stuck in his own head; no doubt hounding himself for the strange rebuff he’d given you.
It would be endearing, that he’s so twisted up inside over it, if it didn’t seep awkwardness into the remainder of your date. You wish you hadn’t tried to kiss him.
The car ride to drop you home is absent of the sweet conversation you’d had when he’d picked you up. Words lull, just an oddly tense air between you two. You’re not sure how to fix this.
When Steve pulls up to the curb, the engine idling with a low rumble, you don’t open the door, not yet. Instead, you turn to Steve.
He’s already waiting, already looking over at you, a hint of worry in his expression — though, it’s gone in a flash.
Steve peels his white-knuckled grip off the steering wheel, pressing his hands into his thighs nervously. He gives a strange sort of chuckle and exhales.
“Right,” He starts, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “I know that— well, obviously, that wasn’t how I’d hoped that would go at the end and—”
He pauses, eyes scrunching shut with a groan as he tries to collect his words. The next sentence looks like it takes effort to grind out. “I would understand, is all, if you decided you didn’t want to go out again—”
“I do.” 
“—because that was, well- wait, what?”
Steve forces his eyes open and doesn’t even try to hide his astonishment. Your heart throbs achingly at his obvious surprise.
“I do want to go out again.” You nod along with your words. Being so sincere makes you feel a bit naked, forcing your vulnerability out into the open so that you don’t let him spiral. But you’d rather deal with that discomfort that let Steve get the wrong idea.
“Yeah?” Steve breathes. He seems to remember himself, picking his hands off his lap and draping them over the steering wheel. They tap at it lightly. Still nervous. “I’ll— I’ll call you?”
You nod again. For a brief moment, you think of how dates are supposed to end with kisses, or so you’re told. Your eyes dip down to his lips.
You want to. Even just pressing a peck to his cheek might satisfy your churning, growing urge to kiss him — but you certainly don’t have enough courage scraped together after his accidental rebuff.
A little part of you whispers meanly that it may not have been so accidental.
“After 9pm, remember?” You hear yourself say with a smile. Opening the door, you step out onto the sidewalk and close it gently behind you.
Then you deliver Steve one more smile, one more look back, because that’s the bravest you can be at the moment.
He doesn’t call the next night.
Or the night after.
You’re certainly not expecting another letter from Steve, especially considering how your phone has sat idle and quiet in its cradle since your date on Tuesday. Ringing, but not for you.
But come Friday morning— there is it.
Another letter, scribbled in handwriting you’re coming to recognise. Your heart stammers through the next couple beats as you realise what it is, who has sent it.
This time, you nearly consider not reading it. For him and for you, you consider letting it get lost in the piles of paper, never seen, never read. But burning curiosity wins, coddled by your bruised ego.
This letter is messier and more hurried than its predecessors, letters looping together all slanted.
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And…oh.
A small worry in you settles. Changes and transforms into something warmer as you realise he hasn’t called you because he’s waiting for advice first. Waiting, unknowingly, for you to answer him.
You genuinely think the space where your heart is supposed to be is empty — that the organ has melted down like gooey candle wax, dripping down your ribcage in burning hot affection. Your chest aches in the best way.
You’d never understood films where girls lie on their beds and kick their feet up, doodling hearts on paper. The urge is suddenly quite overwhelming. Christ. Steve really likes you.
He hadn’t called you back because— because part of him thinks you wouldn’t want him too. That one missed kiss would be the dealbreaker, even after those lovely dates.
You want to scoff, to laugh, to track down Steve and grip him by the shoulders and say, ‘I think you’re stuck with me if you’ll have me!’
You settle for pulling out a fresh sheet to draft your response.
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It’s a bit of a gamble, considering the part about the stars is complete codswallop. The newspaper doesn’t even technically have an astrologist; the horoscopes are auto-generated every week. You’re praying Steve won’t know that.
The paper goes to print on Friday evening, for the early weekend morning the day after. Saturday morning, there’s a call of your name downstairs and you’re halfway down the stairs when you pause at the sight of your mom on the phone.
“Someone on the phone for you,” She comments, the smallest raise of her eyebrows. You ignore the way that makes you hot inside, rushing down the end of the stairs to rescue who you hope is Steve on the other end of the phone. Your mom skirts away but not without one more meaningful glance back at you.
You turn and face the other way, giving away nothing. You’re sure you sound a bit breathless as you speak into the receiver, “Hello?”
A crackle on the other end.
“Hi.” A voice says nervously. There’s a moment’s pause. “It’s Steve.”
You fight off a combination of responses; a girlish squeal and a hefty sigh of relief. He called. The cord of the phone loops around your fingers automatically.
“Hey,” You say, aiming for casual. You’re not sure if it comes out that way.
A small part of you doesn’t mind if he hears your poorly tamped down excitement — an even smaller part wants him to. There’s something different about this call, knowing what you know.
“I’m real sorry it took so long to call,” Steve says, voice genuine. He clearly feels the need to explain his silence. You suppose if you hadn’t received his letter, you might still be feeling a bit confused and bummed out. “I— I’ll tell you all about why tomorrow? If you’re free?”
It’s sickeningly sweet that he still sounds so nervous.
“Of course,” you say. “It’s—” It crosses your mind to tell him, here and now, to explain that you knew exactly why he took so long to call you. You fumble and something else comes out instead. “I’m- I’m glad you called, Steve.”
“Me too.”
Your cheeks ache a bit with the force of your grin. The cord of the phone loops over your finger again and again as you sink against the wall, clutching the phone tighter and pull yourself together,
“So, what’s the plan?”
“You, me, maybe head over to Indianapolis and try out the new golfing game they just set up over there? That sound… good to you?”
It sounds very good to you. 
“I can’t say I’ve ever played golf.” You admit.
A little worry piques up about making a fool of yourself, then settles quickly. Steve wouldn’t make fun of you. If you sucked, you’re actually sure he’d find some way to spin it all romantic style.
“I’ll teach you.”
“You’ve played?”
“Never,” You can hear Steve’s smile through the phone. “But can’t be that hard right?”
There’s a lot of thought that goes into what to wear, evident in the holes you must be wearing in your carpet from pacing across it. Restless energy drives you, some labyrinth of nerves and anticipation knotted in your gut. 
Spread out before you on the bed lies everything you own in the colour yellow.
If she wears yellow, it’s your sign. Make your move.
Your own words— well, Gabby’s words, delivered to Steve via the Hawkins Post on how to know if he’s earned your heart like you know he so desperately wants to. You want to show him he has — in a way that seems like a goddamn sign from the universe.
The skirt is one of your nicer ones.
Along the waistline, embroidered flowers are stitched into the fabric and it swishes in just the way you love. Best of all is the dreamy buttery colour, like the colour that bleeds through at the beginning of a sunset, when the sky starts to change at dusk. It’s yellow as yellow comes — for good reason. 
You want him to see you and know.
For the sign to be so unanimously yes that he doesn’t have any space for the same doubts that tornadoed up in his head after your last date.
The type of giddiness that can only be spurred on by crushes and love alike spins up inside you, like sugar catching in a wheel and turning to cotton candy. You’re so sweet on him it’s making you feel gaga. 
You’re also terrified — because you have to tell him now. Inklings of anxiety settle in your chest, leaving little notches in your ribs that twinge a little bit. You really don’t want Steve to leave your life, not now that he’s just come into it.
A little part of you regrets not telling him on the first date, when all your revelations rolled into one big Oh My God! outside of the Hawk cinema.
You hadn’t told him though, so you need to tell him now. And then again, if you’re asking Steve to trust in the stars then… maybe, so should you. 
The afternoon sun lights through the glass of your front door and coats the entrance hall in gold. Steve, as always, is on time. You’re barely down the stairs, the clock chiming at 1 o’clock, when a familiar toot! sounds from out front. Your fingers stress with the fabric of your skirt, smoothing it down for the nth time. 
Here goes… everything. 
You open the door to step you and you startle in surprise to find there’s already someone on the doorstep. 
The door snicks shut behind you, bumping your forward an inch, and the warmth of the afternoon sweeps across your skin.
Steve’s staring downwards, one hand adjusting his ringer t-shirt nervously and the other holding together a fresh bouquet of flowers- sunflowers.
He got you sunflowers. 
Yellow, yellow, yellow. There seems to be a theme to your love. 
His head shoots up at the sound of your entrance, his eyes snagging on your sunny-coloured skirt which shifts in the wind. You swear you can hear his breath hitch as he takes in the colour, a smile blooming wide across his face.
Remembering his manners, Steve clears his throat and tears his eyes off your skirt but it’s too late — the buttery yellow has done its job and he knows. 
His grin has turned brazen and wild. Confidence rolls his shoulder back a bit and his chest puffs out. He looks so handsome it makes you hopelessly nervous. 
“These are…” Steve holds the flowers out but his words trail off. His eyes back on the ground as he thinks, hard, teeth worrying at his bottom lip.
In a second, he seems to come to a decision because he’s stepping closer to you, so close that if you both leaned in a couple more inches, your nose would brush his chin. He holds the sunflowers purposefully out the way, mindful of crushing them. 
He smells very nice, you realise. The scent of his cologne inspires a flustering reaction; you’re sure there must be cartoon hearts swimming above your head. You reign in your thoughts before they get away from you.
“Look, I messed up our last kiss and honestly, until recently I didn’t even know that was something I was even capable of doing.” Steve huffs a laugh, his throat bobbing as he swallows nervously.
His eyes screw shut for just a moment, gathering his thoughts, or perhaps his courage. Maybe both. 
“But, I am. I’m- I feel like a fool around you and I miss these little cues because I’m trying to think of the right thing to say or— or because I can’t stop looking at you. And it’s because I like you. I really like you.” 
He inhales a shuddering breath. The sun beams make his eyes two shades lighter. 
“I’ve been confused and lost in love once before and it means that some days I’m not even sure what that feeling even is, what I’m looking for, but… I think it may feel a lot like you.” 
There is it, presented forward to you. His heart on his sleeve, bleeding for you. 
His affections are so transparent it makes you ache for him more. Sunlight seems to fill your chest, burning in its ardor and the tenderness soon follows.
You feel the fondness you have for him, just a seedling of new love, taking root deep in your heart. A part of you suspects it may have snuck in there far earlier, nestling in sometime between your longing glancing and shared smiles. 
“And now, I really, really want to kiss you.” Steve says, the words so earnest they scrape on the way up his throat.
His brown eyes are searching your face as his free hand rises, hesitating for only a moment before it finds a home curled along your jaw. “And get a chance to get it right this time.” 
“Steve,” you whisper. His name makes your mouth tender like no other word can. “Kiss me.” 
His fingers slide along your jaw and touch the edges of your hair as he inches nearer and your heart lurches up your throat in anticipation. His lips are quivering ever so slightly, you notice. 
And then his lips are on yours. 
He kisses your mouth with all the adoration of a familiar long-time lover, deep and longing. Pushing up on your toes, your hands grasp at his shirt, the fabric twisting between your fingers as you pull him closer. It’s… lovely.
Your heart aches and soars, beating as one with him as his kiss sets a fire aflame within you. You are officially and utterly enraptured by Steve Harrington and all he is, but especially his kisses. You already miss the last of his lips when Steve breaks the kiss. 
He doesn’t move back, staying close, and the tip of his nose bumps against yours. He’s sporting a grin that rivals the day in sunshine. 
“You wore yellow,” He says, voice doused in awe. 
Oh. That’s right. His words are a swift kick to reality. You pull back just a bit, hands flattening out on his chest, just so you can see his face properly because you know if you’re too close, you might fall victim to his brown eyes. 
“About that…” 
Steve blinks and takes a second to realise that he must have spoken aloud. He chuckles, a hint of embarrassment in the noise, and rushes to explain. “That was— that must’ve sounded-” 
“I’m Gabby.” You interrupt before he can get carried away. 
Steve frowns, confusion creasing between his brows. “What? I thought your name was—” 
“No!” You jump in again, biting down your smile at his adorable misunderstanding. “I-I mean I write as Gabby. From the Hawkins Post.” 
Steve blinks at you again. His face blanches and then, it’s like watching fruit ripen, the apples of his cheek getting pinker and pinker with every passing second.
He splutters, a myriad of emotions overtaking his features; surprise, bewilderment, embarrassment. He jumps from one to the other in an instant.
“You- you’re— and you?”
There’s not really a proper sentence coming from Steve, just bucket loads of endearing and unneeded embarrassment radiating off him, so warm you can nearly feel it. Steve sputters for another second before he finally manages to spit out a sentence. 
“The whole time?” 
You have the decency to look sheepish when you nod. Steve steps back for a moment and you try to ignore the spike of fear it invokes in you — he buries his face in his hands, squishing the flowers against his hair, and releases a pitiful sounding groan into his palms. After a moment, he drags his hands down his face and peeks up at you. 
“The whole time?” Steve asks again, in a meek whisper.
“I’m sorry!” You squeak out, guilt beginning to overflow. Oh god, you’ve deceived him and he hates you—
“No, no, no,” He cuts you off with a wave of his hand, which then cards through his hair. He’s still looking a bit frazzled but his eyes finally focus back on you.
“It’s not— Oh, man, I can’t believe it was you. No wonder the advice worked so well! This is- this is a new kind of embarrassing—” 
Steve groans again, though his smile is starting to return. “I can’t believe you still went out with me once you figured it out. God, I knew that writing in was a bit pathetic, it’s gotta be like a—” He holds his hand out flat, hovering at chest height. “Top ten loser move of all time and you still—.” 
“No, it’s not!” You insist, stepping forward to close the gap between you. You shake your head, eager to convince him of how it had seemed from your side; a sweet love letter from someone who cared enough to try to get things right.
“It was sweet and honest. Before I even knew it was you, reading that first letter, I… I wanted it to be you.” You admit, a bit bashfully. 
Steve takes a moment to look at you, eyes dancing down to look at your yellow skirt which swishes as another breeze passes by. Warm afternoon air cocooning around you, you look the picture of devastatingly pretty, dolled up for a date with him. You’ve seen this dorky and little bit pathetic side of him, with his desperate search for advice and missed kisses and yet… you’re still here. 
“You did? You mean that? You don’t think it was… weird?” 
You shake your head, a few strands of hair escaping from behind your ear. Steve thinks about tucking them back for you. He doesn’t feel brave enough yet.
“I mean that. I— it was crazy when I figured it out and I sort of thought it was just wishful thinking but, definitely not weird.” 
You hold your hand up, fingers nearly pinched together with only a few centimetres between them. You squint, smile overtaking your lips before you can stop it. “Was just a little bit funny, though.” 
Steve laughs, head tipping forward to hide his rosy cheeks. He peers back up at you through his lashes, a new twinkle in his eyes. “You’re a little minx, aren’t you?” 
“I didn’t plan it!” You splutter out, defending yourself. “It was- it was just a freaky coincidence.” 
“A freaky coincidence?” Steve’s brows hike up an inch. His smile turns into a smirk and he rocks up on the balls of his feet, then steps back in closer to you. “Mmhm. Totally believe you.” 
“Doesn’t sound like you do.” 
“Weren’t you the one who told me to trust in the stars? You should take your own advice, really.” 
He leans in so close that you think he’s about to kiss you. He doesn’t— just hovers an inch from your lips. 
“I’ve found it works astoundingly well.” He says, voice husky with how low it is.
You shiver a bit, delight zinging up your spine and try your best to not to smile too much because, well — as you find, it’s awfully hard to kiss someone properly when you’re cheesing out, grinning too wide. 
Good thing, neither you or Steve seem to mind very much.
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dreamescapeswriting · 5 months
Text
Unbreak My Heart ~ BC
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WORD COUNT:2.8K
GENRE: NON-Idol Au, feelings of not being good enough, chan walking out with no explanation, comfort from Seungmin, breakup fic, angsty with soft?ending. I had to make someone the bad guy I’m sorry 
PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader 
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
A/N: Hope this is okay that I did it non-idol, i figured it would fit better x
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The begging you'd been doing for days had finally stopped, your calls were going straight to the answerphone and there was no getting through to your boyfriend who had just upped and left you without an explanation. God, you don't even think he expected you to wake up and find him leaving in the middle of the night without any explanation. He'd looked genuinely surprised to see you awake as he zipped up the final bag he'd packed up,
Where are you going? Do you have a work trip? Do you want me to make your favourite meal for when you come home?
Sobs broke out from your throat as you remembered the way Chan just stared down at you with a blank stare, staring straight through you as if the two of you had never even met before. You felt so stupid looking back on the way you'd acted, of course, he was leaving you but you'd been too blind to see it. You figured he was joking around or really had to go on a work trip, you never expected him to walk away from everything the two of you had built together, 
Chan? Where are you going? You're scaring me now, it's not April Fools...
You could still remember the shake in your voice as you called out for him as he got into his car and drove off in the middle of the night. You'd expected him to come back and tell you it was some stupid prank, that he was only joking around and he loved you but you were left with nothing.
You walked through the hallway, your skin iced cold as you stared around at the house you had once called home, memories flooding back to you as you took in the rooms around you.
Chan was everywhere inside this house, it was your home...The one you were planning to start a family in and bring his friends to but now it was nothing. A few walls with a roof over the top to stop any hurt from coming inside so why did it feel as though your world was being torn apart bit by bit. 
Tears streamed down your face as you sank down onto the floor and began to cry once again, your arms wrapping around you as you clung onto one of the only shirts of Chan's you'd had left. Feeling everything all again at once as you whimpered to yourself, every time you closed your eyes you saw him leaving all over again watching him walk away from you as if you were nothing more than someone he'd passed by in the night.
The dam had burst and there was no turning back as you cried against the cold, hard tile of the floor and let your broken sobs turn into a huge breakdown.
You wanted him to come back and you didn't care that he'd hurt you, you needed him to come back and take back the tears you'd shed for him and to just hold you again in his big arms.
Please Chan, whatever it is I can change. I can do better.
The last voicemail you left still bounced around in your head as you let out a choked cry, your eyes screwed shut and you forced yourself up from the floor, heading toward the bathroom, you needed to shower you felt gross as you sat there in three days in the same shirt.
You turned the taps on the shower, watching the glass fill with steam as you stared down at the floor, blinking as you tried to take some calming breaths. It was almost dark out which meant it had been yet another day without Chan here and you were going to have to go to sleep soon...Or at least get into bed soon. 
The nights were the worst part about all of this, you laid in your huge bed waiting for him to walk through the door and undo all of the pain he'd done. To crawl into bed beside you and kiss the tears away that he'd caused but it never happened. If you'd managed to get a little sleep every time you woke up you expected to find him there, that this was all some cruel nightmare you were having but life wasn't that kind to you. 
As soon as the heat of the water hit your skin you didn't even hiss or reach up to change it to a cooler setting you just let it scold your skin, figuring you needed it to wash away the feel of Chan's touch. 
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"Yn?!" Seungmin's voice shook as he walked into the bathroom to find you crying, crying wasn't the right word, bawling your eyes out on the shower floor wearing a towel. It was as if you'd tried to get out of the shower and stopped yourself and just laid there letting the water hit you.
"C-Chan?" You sobbed out, but as soon as your eyes locked onto his employee you sobbed once more, and Seungmin felt the pit of his stomach sink as he walked toward the shower cubicle, hissing when the water hit his skin.
"Are you trying to get sick?! This is freezing!" Sometime between getting in the shower and sitting there for hours, the boiler had run out of gas but you didn't even move. You figured it was your punishment for letting Chan walk away without fighting for him harder, you should have run after him or chased after his car. Your mind had twisted you to be the bad guy in all of this, clearly, you hadn't been good enough for Chan and that was why he'd left you behind.
"Why did he go? W-Where is he?" Your eyes met Seungmins as he swallowed the lump in his throat, seeing you like this was breaking his own heart and he couldn't stand to see you like this. Chan was his boss first but you were also his friend, not to mention the woman he was in love with and he'd inadvertently hurt since Chan had done this for him.
It was stupid looking back on it now, something Seungmin wished he could take back as he stared down at you sobbing into his arms,
"I don't know," He lied, turning off the water and helping you up from the floor, noticing the way your legs trembled as he took you toward your bedroom. He sat you down on the edge of the bed and you just stared at Seungmin as he walked toward your wardrobe,
"You need something warm," He said to you, filtering through your wardrobe trying to find you something that looked thick enough to warm you up.
"He's your boss, where is he?" You ignored the way he was trying to care for you, right now you couldn't give a shit if you got hypothermia maybe that would be enough to bring Chan back to you.
"Do you have any jumpers?" Seungmin grumbled ignoring your questions, he knew exactly where he was but he was under strict instructions not to tell you anything.
"How could he break my heart like this?" Your voice trembled as you sniffled a little, your nose starting to run as you let out a whimper.
"Here, I found this jumper," Seungmin said triumphantly as he turned around holding out a black hoodie, your eyes stilled on the fabric he was holding as fresh tears began to brim to the surface. 
"It's Channies." It was one of the first ones you'd bought for him back when you first started dating all of those years ago, he told you it was his favourite simply because you'd been the one to buy it for him.
"I'm sure I can find something else-" He couldn't finish what he was saying since you snatched the clothing from his hand and dropped the soaking towel you were wearing to change into it. Seungmin was quick to turn around and stare up at the ceiling to avoid staring at your body since you clearly didn't care what he saw.
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Since arriving Seungmin had ordered you food only for it to turn cold since you refused to touch it, questioning Seungmin every chance you had about what Chan was doing but he avoided it. Moving onto a different topic or making you hot drinks to try and avoid the subject but it was almost midnight and he'd expected you to fall asleep and the questions would stop.
It would stop the dull ache he was feeling side of him, the crushing guilt he had since he'd been the reason for Chan walking out of your life and away from you, 
"Did he say anything to you about leaving?" You sniffled, looking up from the mug of hot chocolate and staring at Seungmin whose eye had just twitched,
"No." He was lying and you could tell, your eyes narrowed as you stared back at him,
"Has he been at work?" Your question had once again been met with silence which was a clear sign Chan had been to work and Seungmin didn't want to lie to you about it anymore.
How could he go to work as if you weren't hurting for him? As if you weren't begging for him to come back home every chance that you had.
"Is he...is he even upset?" Dread filled your chest as you sat there staring at Seungmin. Did Chan walk away because he didn't love you anymore? Was that how easy it was to just lose feelings for someone?
"He said he loved me, how could he just walk away from all of this? Everything we'd created together." Sobs broke free again and Seungmin let out a small sigh, he wasn't going to be able to sit here much longer.
"Yn-"
"We were planning a family you know...We were going to start trying for a baby..." You stared down at the bed sheets, you hadn't changed them since he left in fear you'd never get to smell Chan again. Seungmin looked over at the door, he'd not heard about you planning on having kids yet. He'd just been thinking of his own selfish reasons for you and Chan breaking up,
"Is that what scared him off?" You sobbed, wiping your eyes on the sleeves of the hoodie.
"I-If it is! Tell him, I don't want kids...Tell him I just want him back. I can't have anyone but him," You broke down once again and Seungmin took the cup from your hands, putting it onto the bedside cabinet not wanting you to spill it and hurt yourself.
"Yn, I don't-"
"How could he just leave me in all this pain?" For the first time all night, Seungmin looked into your eyes and stared back at you, he came in to check on you and to try and get you to move on with him but a blind man could see there was no moving on from Chan for you.
"You should get some sleep," He whispered, pulling the sheets back for you to help you get under them and you nodded, laying down on the bed and staring at him.
"Will you stay? I can't sleep alone again..." You admitted before Seungmin laid down on the bed, on top of the sheets this time watching as you cuddled into the sheets and his guilt felt worse. 
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"This was your idea, you're the one who blackmailed me into this." Chan spat out, your heart going into overdrive as you threw yourself out of the bed coming to a stop at your bedroom door. Seungmin and Chan were standing in the hallway together, both of them failing to see you and watching them speak to one another.
"I- I'm sorry, I thought-" Seungmin tried to speak but Chan was quick to shut him down. For a week Chan had done everything he could to throw himself into work and to forget about you but it had been damn near impossible with you calling and begging for him to come back.
He had to sit and listen to your voicemails and you blamed yourself for him walking away when it had nothing to do with you, or Chan for that fact but instead the man he had once called a friend.
"You made me ruin everything and now you're sorry?" He scoffed a little at him shaking his head.
"I broke her to pieces and I'm meant to waltz back in there and pretend it never happened?!" He was whispering and yelling at him all at the same time, your heart thumping harder as you watched the two of them debate back and forth,
"I didn't tell you to break her heart," Seungmin grumbled, folding his arms over his chest.
"No. You just pushed me into a corner so I had no choice."
"What's going on?" You stepped out onto the landing and stared at Chan who appeared to look a lot worse than you did right now. His hair was dishevelled, the bags under his eyes had their own bags not to mention the five o'clock shadow that was forming on his skin which really didn't suit him.
"Yes...Seungmin. Explain to her what's going on." Chan spat out harshly as you stared at Seungmin, waiting for him to speak but he just stared back at you in complete silence until he sighed.
You listened to them explain everything from the start, how Seungmin had been in love with you for years and had basically blackmailed Chan into stepping away from you with a threat to have him fired. The heartbreak you'd been feeling turned into anger as you stared at the two of them, Chan swallowed nervously as he stared back at you,
"And neither of you thought to ask me what I thought about all of this?" You stared at Seungmin who said nothing,
"You never thought to ask me what I thought of you Seungmin before you had Chan drag my heart from my chest?" You stepped toward them both and Seungmin stepped back, hitting the wall with his back as he let out a shakey whine.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, when he'd threatened Chan he hadn't thought about the years you and he had together he was just thinking of his own Selfish heart. He figured you'd get over Chan and jump into his waiting arms but after spending half a night with you it had become clear you were never going to move on from Chan and he'd called him, begging him to come back to you.
"Sorry isn't going to fix this." You hissed at him,
"Yn-" Chan went to say your name but you turned to stare at him so fast he was afraid you were going to get whiplash.
"Don't you even think you're off the hook either!" You stared at him, your heart racing as tears welled up in his eyes.
"Out." You grumbled at Seungmin who didn't need to be told twice before exiting the house, slamming the door behind him and leaving you in complete silence with Chan.
It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, neither of you spoke as you stared at one another in silence.
"How bad was the blackmail?" Was the first thing you asked to break the silence.
"I would have been fired but it was more about what it was...It would have been leaked," You stared at Chan as he reached out to touch your cheek your skin melting against his touch as you whimpered a little.
"It was the CCTV footage from my office, a steamy night between you and me and I wouldn't let him release it." You nodded a little before throwing yourself into his arms. A rational person would have punished him for walking away from you, making him grovel before forgiving him but you'd been away from him for far too long for that.
"Take me to bed...I need sleep," You begged, Chan began to walk with you toward your bedroom, the two of you sinking into the sheets as if no time had passed between you. Chan's hand softly ran up and down your spine, soothing you as you breathed in the scent of his cologne, 
"You ever do that shit again, I'll chop off your balls and feed them to you," You threatened him as he let out a breathy chuckle, kissing the top of your head and promising to never do it again.
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It hadn't taken long for Seungmin to quit working for Chan, deleting the video of you and Chan together and removing himself from your lives. While you'd forgiven Chan for breaking your heart he still made it up to you every day. Each day a rose was delivered to the house with a note giving you a reason why he loved you, along with date invitations and small reminders of him being with you. 
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azulock · 4 months
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so I wanna requests the guys as dads, I remember at some point you said you wanted to do something like this and I really wanna see it
Time to rull up my sleeves, cause I did say I was gonna do one of those right? Back when I got annoyed that all I found was girl dad this girl dad that and I got tired of all the typical gendering going on in dad fics.
Ryusei Shidou
Girl dad in the most chaotic way possible. Tiaras coexist with bows and arrows as a princess fights off an invasion. Every doll and plushie has a tattoo made either with a sharpie or from a patch attached with hot glue. Every tea time is a mafia family meeting that always involves an assassination plot. And the barbies live very intense lives that inevitably delve into wrestling like storylines where each one has a gimmick, a long standing feud, and a clear thirst for blood.
Chaos may not be the best thing to keep an organized home, but it's good for mental development. And much like a kid, Shidou also thrives in creative chaos. He isn't the best at practical things, especially the ones involving routine and quiet time, but he has got his uses. Very good at wasting his daughter's energy until she drops straight into a deep sleep. His antics are also good at convincing her to eat pretty much anything. And of course, great at entertaining her so you can take a break.
Oliver Aiku
Boy dad but like he really doesn't care, he'd be giving the same extremely affectionate, and even a bit clingy, treatment to his kid no matter the gender - sugary sweet nicknames included. Probably heard people saying he coddles his son too much, treating him like a princess, but Oliver is good at playing deaf. Tho, that kid gonna have to fight for the right to have his feet touching the ground, cause dad wants to carry his offspring everywhere. Sure to raise a boy as clingy and openly affectionate as him.
Those reflexes honed for football are quite good at catching a kid before an ugly fall. And he's actually good at the general everyday stuff, surprisingly patient too. Takes a genuine interest in the things his son likes, so when the boy shows sudden interest in colorful nail polish, he'll show up to a match with badly painted soft purple nails. Likes sleeping on the floor with his boy, when asked why the floor and not the bed he brings up the old man excuse of "the floor is good for my back".
Reo Mikage
Girl dad and he was ready for a little princess, but what he got was more of a cave dwelling gremlin. He was expecting frilly dresses and tea time but he gets a little girl who likes bugs, playing in the mud and digging things from the ground. It hits him as a surprise but he adapts to that, and as much as he isn't very excited for the cleanup afterward, he is always eager to entertain his girl's odd interests. If buying dinosaur fossils weren't such a legal can of worms he'd buy one just to bury it for her to dig up.
If he wasn't convinced to go to therapy before, now is the moment to convince him. Just gotta say he should do it not to become like his dad and he's gonna be booking the appointment fast. Will be reading child pedagogy books and shit like that to make sure he can be a good and understanding dad. Really just trying to kill his family's trauma conga line at himself - wants his daughter to trust and count on him in the way he never could with his dad.
Michael Kaiser
Boy dad but to the gentlest, sweetest of souls, a little boy who seems to have absolutely nothing in common with his dad, aside from some physical traits. It at the same time shocks and scares him, because the world out there is not kind to sweet people. But while the boy is at home, Kaiser can keep him safe. It does frustrate him a little bit when he tries to get his son into football but the boy is more into art than sports, but he learns to move past that. Truth is, he wanted the boy to mirror his traits a bit more, so this is a humbling experience.
That poor rose tattoo of his does not see a day of peace after his son learned to color. Tho, Kaiser gets used to the shaky new roses drawn on his skin fair enough. And he actually considers getting a full tattoo of just lineart and not colors just to let the boy color in. He's not the most patient so he has a bit of a hard time getting used to the whole parenting thing, but he does try his best. Also, whenever he takes his son out somewhere he makes their clothes match in color scheme.
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muchosbesitos · 6 months
Text
for the first time
part two of still beating
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pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader
contents: smut, oral (f receiving), somehow even more angst, death, blood
author’s note: should i be mentally preparing for the ‘when i catch you ricky’ comments 🌚 all jokes aside, thank you for all the suggestions that you guys sent <3
word count: 4.1K
still beating (part one)
Leaving the Spider Society was much easier than you expected it to be, nobody really questioning you out of the belief that it was because of what Miguel had done. While seeing his face around the building everyday wasn't exactly the most pleasant feeling, the main reason as to why you'd left was to be able to carry out the pregnancy in peace. You wanted to rid yourself of the stresses that came along with being in the society, those including the ones that were caused by your coworkers. You started the process of removing yourself from the society slowly, starting out with coming into the building less and less. Before anyone could realize what your intentions had been, you had already left.
"Make sure you come to visit us, okay? We can't wait to see you with the baby," Gwen told you as you were getting ready to leave everything behind. You knew that hiding out in your universe was too risky, that it would be the first place that Miguel would ever think to look for you so you decided to take refuge in another universe. "I'll do that, stay safe. And take care of each other," you responded, her arms wrapping around your torso ever so gently. After the initial interaction that the both of you had, the two of you started going out for lunch and hosting game nights with Hobie and Pav. You glanced over at Hobie who leaned against the wall, knowing that he'd be less receptive towards a hug.
You extended your hand out, his engulfing yours as he dapped you up. "Take care of yourself, lass. And of the lil one there," Hobie told you as he let go of your hand, getting off from the wall before glancing over at Gwen. They were about to leave before you decided to call out to them once more, a small smile on your face as you looked at them. "Thank you for everything, You guys didn't need to show me the kindness that you did," you told them, a curt nod from both of them in response before they walked away. You looked down at the small duffel bag you'd packed with a few pairs of clothes and some bare necessities, wondering if this was the best decision though you already knew the answer, tapping some buttons on your gizmo to open up a portal.
Before you could leave the universe, you knew that there was something that you should do first. You ended up at an apartment on the Lower East Side, nimble fingers knocking on the door as you waited for some type of response. After waiting for what seemed to be around five minutes, you decided to turn around and start to head back home when you heard the door open. Miguel's girlfriend before you stood in front of the door, her expression painted with annoyance as she looked at you. You'd considered if this was truly a good idea for a couple minutes before coming here, ultimately deciding that you should at least offer her an apology for your actions.
"Come in," she finally spoke up for a minute, almost like she was expecting Miguel to appear behind you. You stepped into her apartment, immediately getting welcomed by the smell of wood burning at the fire place. You glanced over at the sofa she was sitting at, your eyes silently asking her if you could take a seat. She nodded, motioning for you to take a seat and so you did. "I'm sorry about what I did to you. I should've respected you and your relationship at the time but I let my selfish desires get the best of me," your apology came out a bit awkward, but it was genuine.
"I'm not sure that Miguel or I respected our relationship all that much at the time, but you're right. It was really fucking awful seeing him with you, acting the way that I wanted him to for months," she responded, folding her arms across her chest. "With that being said, I acknowledge the courage that it must've taken you to come here and I respect the fact that you're willing to look me in the eye to apologize. But I don't forgive you," she added, making your head lower a bit in shame. "You're completely entitled to that. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry about the way things went down. And I hope that you don't think him cheating was a reflection on you, you seem like a very lovely person," you finished up, getting up from the couch after you finished speaking.
You knew that expecting forgiveness was a bit of a long stretch, but at least you felt that weight of guilt lifted off of you the slightest bit. As you stepped out on the street, you tapped a couple buttons on your gizmo to a random universe before taking off your watch when the portal appeared. You stepped inside, unsure of what to expect out of the new environment that you would be living in from now on. The universe that you'd landed on only had a few minor differences such as tree placement and the billboards that were present, otherwise remaining a perfect copy of Earth-928. You made your way down the streets, finding that the streets were the same as what they used to be. You stopped in front of the coffee shop that you used to frequent, deciding to get yourself a drink.
You weren't trying too hard to forget about what Miguel had made you feel, but you felt all the air leave your lungs as you looked at this version of him. It felt exactly like the first time you'd seen him, only now with the previous memories of what the other one had done. You'd bumped into him after you were making your way out of the coffee shop, your cup spilling to the floor as a result. This version of him looked like he was 25-26, still in graduate school based off the books he was gripping so tightly in his arms. "Sorry about that, are you okay?" He asked, your eyes drifting up to his face. "I'm okay, sorry about bumping into you. I wasn't paying attention," you lied to him, rubbing the back of your neck.
The truth was, you'd seen him walking out of the Alchemax building across the street and you decided to do the most logical thing, put yourself in his way and 'bump' into him. "Since you spilled your coffee, I can make it up to you by buying you a new one," he suggested, his eyes darting from your spilled cup back to your face. "You don't have to do that, it was my fault," you responded, feeling slightly guilty for the way that you'd chosen to approach this version of Miguel. While you knew that they shared essentially everything about their physical appearance in common, you also knew that you had to approach them as two different people rather than using methods you used on the other Miguel to compensate.
"Well yes, I know that I technically don't have to do anything. But I'm suggesting it to you because I want to," he added, stepping off to the side and opening the door of the coffee shop for you. You stepped inside as he followed suit behind you, standing in the line with you. "I'm Miguel, it's nice to meet you. I can't help but feel like maybe I’ve seen you before," he spoke up after a while, the line moving slowly. You told him your name and dismissed away his concern by telling him that you had a very generic face. "I don't think so, you have the kind of face that's hard to forget. your aura's very.. alluring," he responded to that before the barista called the both of you over.
The two of you sat down, the exchange a bit awkward as you stirred at your coffee with your straw. "What are you studying?" You decided to break the silence and ask him a couple questions about himself, taking a sip from your coffee. "I'm majoring in genetics at Alchemax, though my undergrad was mostly biology based. and you, what'd you study for?" He asked, leaning over the table slightly as you told him your answer. "So why genetics?" You followed up, hoping that he'd be more receptive to answering questions about himself than his other version was.
"Frankly, the main reason I chose to get into genetics was because my father works at Alchemax so I kind of grew up around that environment. But I want to make some kind of change in the world and the way that diseases are managed rather than take advantage of the resources that are given like most geneticists end up doing," he explained, allowing you to get a glimpse of just how protective and caring he seemed to be past his exterior.
The conversation flowed easily between the two of you, having you delve into some details about your life without elaborating too much on where you were from before he had told you that he had to go. "Sorry about that, i have to go pick up my brother Gabriel from soccer practice since I took the car today. I'd love to talk to you more if you're down, Do you mind giving me your number?" he told you before he he left, looking at you expectantly. You hadn't even thought about that aspect moving into this universe, your mind rushing to make up an excuse that didn't make you seem uninterested in him. "I just got my phone stolen actually. I'm about go get a new one though, if you want to give me your phone number instead," you responded, watching as he grabbed a napkin and a pen to scribble down his number.
Despite the fact that you'd rushed off to buy a cell phone after your interaction with Miguel, you couldn't help but feel hesitant as you played with the paper he'd given you. The knowledge that you were an anomaly in this universe wasn't lost upon you, that even with every breath that you took, you were threatening the balance of this universe and the natural flow of events. You knew that just by texting Miguel at this moment, you'd possibly be disturbing with the stability of the canon. But no matter how wrong it felt to do it, being around him and talking to him just felt so right and easy.
You: Hey, it's the girl from the coffee shop :-) it was really nice talking to you
Miguel: Hey! I was looking forward towards your text, I really had a good time with you today. I hope you don't mind me being forward but would you like to hangout some other time?
You: Before we do, there's actually something I have to disclose to you.
Miguel: Oh no, you're an alien right?
You: Not quite LOL, just pregnant.
You bit down on your lower lip as you waited for a text back from him, feeling uneasy at the way he would react. You counted down the seconds as he typed out his response, anticipation building up as you saw the bubbles appearing on your screen.
Miguel: That doesn't change my opinion on you, I still want to get to know you better if the baby daddy doesn't have any objections towards that.
You: No, you don't have to worry about that, he's not in the picture.
Miguel: Okay, well there's this Italian restaurant with really good pasta on 80th street. I'm free on Saturday at 7 if that works for you.
You: See you then :)
The first date with Miguel went better than you'd expected, the rush of excitement that you'd felt when seeing him the first time sticking throughout the whole experience. Dates between the two of you were simple, having a good time no matter where the two of you ended up. He made you sure to be consistent with the attention that he was giving you after that despite the many commitments in his life, such as finishing up grad school, having an internship at Alchemax, and tutoring a kid named Peter Parker. He made sure to bring you your favorite flowers at the beginning of each new date, often spoiling you with whatever you had a craving for that day. A couple of months had passed since you had started the relationship with Miguel, the feeling of bliss never ending whenever you were with him.
The two of you were out walking in the street after catching a movie, his arm wrapped around your shoulders as he held you close to him. "Miguelll, I'm kinda hungry for some Chipotle. I have such a craving for Mexican food," you whined, feeling your stomach grumble afterwards. "I'm gonna pretend like you didn't just say Chipotle was Mexican food and move on to my next point. They just closed so you're gonna have to pick somewhere else," he answered, a hint of amusement in his tone. "It's called Chipotle Mexican Grill," you countered, hearing him let out a small groan. "I can take you back to my place. I made some carne guisada earlier," he suggested, your mouth watering at just the anticipation. (stewed meat)
"This is like the best thing ever," you practically moaned out as you bit into the piece of meat that he'd given you. "Better than Chipotle, you'd say?" He asked, sitting down across from you as you ate. "Definitely. I mean, I like chipotle but for some reason their beans always make me have to go to the bathroom," you responded, not really measuring your words as you spoke. "Well, my food's never been the result of anyone's chorro so I think you'll be good," he told you, pouring you a small glass of water before setting it down. "Where'd you learn how to cook like this?" You inquired, watching as brows knitted together before he spoke again. "My mom's Mexican so there was always that sort of element around the house. I ended up visiting a couple years back and I sort of learned the cuisine from the locals."
You and Miguel were laying down in bed after dinner, his head in between your legs since he'd read somewhere that orgasms were good for the cramps that you'd been having. "Miguel, would you still like me if I was a worm?" You asked him, feeling his tongue circle around your clit before stopping. "You're asking me this right now?" He asked, looking up at you as his fingers went inside of you. "Yes. More specifically, a pregnant worm," you elaborated, a small chuckle coming out of his mouth as he shook his head. "Yes, I’d love you even if you were a pregnant worm. I'd stick you in my pocket and take you to work. Feed you little insects and whatnot," he responded, his mouth going back to what it was doing before.
Your mouth parted as you felt his tongue running across your folds, collecting the slick that'd been dripping out from his ministrations. You felt yourself unraveling with every stroke of his tongue, your pleasure being his priority in the moment as he plunged his fingers deep into your cunt. You felt yourself clench around the two fingers he had inside of you, your slick coating them to provide with an easier access. "Don't stop, please," you begged, feeling yourself approaching that familiar point of an orgasm. "Don't worry nena, I wasn't planning to," he told you, keeping the same pace as he worked you through your orgasm. Your fingers fisted at his hair, hitting your peak just a couple seconds later.
You woke up the next morning, feeling incredibly relieved. you weren't too sure if Miguel was right about the orgasms or if it was simply because you'd slept near him, but you didn't have it in you to question it. He'd gotten up earlier than you, already dressed in a button down and and jeans by the time you were up. "I can leave if you want me to. I don't want to impose," you told him, getting up from the bed as you tried to fix up your sleep ridden appearance. "I don't mind, you can stay here. I think I'll be home late from work but I'll send you a message to confirm later. Te quiero, stay safe," he told you, leaning over to kiss you on the forehead before he went out to his class.
A lingering feeling followed you throughout the evening, a feeling of impending doom and misery. You’d been helping out around the city when you weren’t with Miguel but you'd chosen to skip out on patrolling the city tonight, figuring that the Spider-Man of this universe could handle the task and decided to treat yourself a bit with some snacks from a bodega near by. You looked down at your phone, biting down at your bottom lip as you scrolled through the vast majority of texts that Miguel had sent you. He'd simply told you that he would be staying late today because he had something to finish up at work but the more time that passed, the more that your concern grew. Seven o'clock turned into eight, eight turning into nine.
You didn't want to be that type of clingy partner, but you grabbed a spare key card and decided to go pay Miguel a visit at work to make sure he was doing okay. The sounds of sirens distracted you from your worry, the police car practically zooming down the street as other cars opened up a pathway for it to pass. You weren't sure what it was, whether it was a form of intuition or simply just a gut feeling, but you decided to follow that cop car. Police tape had been set up at the scene where the cop car stopped at, a crowd building up around it. The snacks that you'd eaten earlier began to taste bitter in your mouth as you made your way through the crowd, eyes widening as you saw the person laying there.
Your airway felt constricted as you looked down at the floor, seeing Miguel on the floor with a gunshot wound to his chest. You could feel people looking at you as you struggled to breathe, but your attention was solely on the man lying in the cold pavement while the police waited for the coroner to arrive. "Ma'am?" A police officer asked, wanting to evaluate the situation before making any sudden movements. "Please, let me through. That's my boyfriend," you pleaded, managing to get the words out despite how heavy your tongue felt in your own mouth. Your caution about getting caught by this universe's Spider-Man went out the window, simply concerned about assessing Miguel. The officer asked one of his partners if all the evidence was collected before letting you into the scene.
You got down on the pavement, practically on your knees as your hand reached over to grab Miguel's. The usual warmth that he exuded was gone, simply replaced by the cold reminder of death. You kept looking over at him, almost expecting him to rise and tell you that it was just a cruel joke and that everyone had been in on it. You looked down at the puddle of blood that built up around him, the life escaping from his body with every liter that he'd lost. The police explained to you that according to the security footage from a store nearby, he got cornered by a couple men in a ski mask in the alley. They'd threatened him for his wallet and other personal belongings, shooting him when he'd resisted far too much. You reached into his pockets, finding out that they’d taken his things after they’d shot him which meant the resistance he’d put up had been for naught.
You knew that Miguel's death was a canon event for the Spider-Man of this universe, that losing a mentor was necessary for the self-perseverance that Peter had building up but you didn't understand why it had to be your Miguel. You'd never felt so useless and guilty in your life, thinking about how maybe you've could've stopped this if you'd just gone on patrol for the night. Though it might've done more harm to the universe than good, you wanted to be selfish and just feel Miguel's embrace one more time. Feel the warmth of his hugs as he held you close to his chest, his head resting on top of yours.
Tears streamed down your cheeks as you forced yourself to trudge forward and head home before you ended up getting robbed in the middle of the street too. Left foot forward, right foot follow. You felt yourself having to make the involuntary movements that your body naturally made, the exhaustion of the day taking its toll on you. You stopped in the middle of the street, feeling a burning sensation in your throat as you leaned over to vomit. You weren't sure if it was the snacks that you'd had earlier or an effect of what you'd seen earlier, possibly a combination of the both of them. When you stood up straight and wiped away the vomit from your face, your attention immediately went to the portal appearing in front of you.
Talons ripped the ends of the portal, almost like the person behind it was too impatient to wait for it to open. Miguel came out and looked over at you, deactivating the head piece of his costume just so you could see the annoyance that this little stunt had caused him. "We need to talk," he told you, making it seem like you were in rather for a scolding than having a simple conversation. His eyes flickered down to the little bump on your belly, his eyes softening just the slightest bit before he looked up at you with that cold expression once more. There was nothing promising in this universe for you anymore, so you decided to follow him back to the Spider Society.
Miguel led you to his office once the two of you arrived back at the society, the stares and whispers of the other members following suit. "LYLA, don't have anyone bother me right now," Miguel spoke up, his assistant appearing and nodding before disappearing off once more. You waited for him to say something to you, anything to make this conversation go faster so you didn't have to be in the same room with him much longer. The sensation of wanting to be the furthest away from him right now felt foreign to you, especially when you often longed for the moment that he would pay some attention to you even if it was only for a couple seconds. "Do you have any idea of the damage that you could've done to that universe had you interfered with any canon event?!"
Seeing Miguel's anger felt strange to you, always having seen it directed towards someone else rather than towards you. You weren't sure if you should try to give him your explanation or let him yell it out, choosing to go for the first option. "Nothing happened though! At least nothing that wasn't supposed to," You responded, starting to feel a bit lightheaded. You padded over to a spare chair he had in his office, his back hunching over his desk the same way you'd seen many times before. "I want to be mad for you for doing such a stupid thing but I realize that i'm the one that led you to that," he spoke up after a couple seconds, facing you once more as he rubbed a hand through his chest.
You were expecting for that to be the end of the 'conversation', standing up from your spot to leave his office. "Hou don't know how hard it was to look at you through those monitors and see you getting the attention you deserved from a variant of myself. You don't know how much I longed for that to be me, to be me that you called when you had a craving for Chipotle in the middle of the night or be the one that you confided in," he spoke up before you had the chance to leave, your head turning so fast that you almost gave yourself whiplash. "You could've had that. Everything that happened was your fault," you replied, your voice showing no remorse for what happened. "You think I don't know that? I’m well aware of what I did, but I still selfishly want to be a part of your life and the baby’s," His voice sounded pained as he spoke, his figure approaching you slowly.
"Please. Just give me the chance to be in our baby's life. That's all I ask of you," he pleaded,  desperation evident from the way that he looked at you with such longing. "You have some nerve still asking for something from me! Do you expect me to forget about everything and want me to co-parent with you?!" Your voice boomed through the empty office, your voice bouncing through the walls as they made their way into Miguel's ears. "Please, I'm begging you. I just want the opportunity to be a father to our baby," he added, reaching out to grab you before his hands fell slack by his sides. "NO!" You responded, a sudden pop coming out between your legs as a gush of liquid followed suit.
@mimiemie @laysmt @6thhokageswife @mochimoqa @nifeout @loonalockley @syrzx
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actuallysaiyan · 5 months
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Heart To Heart(Emo!Nanami Kento x Fem!Bimbo!Reader)
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warnings: smut, unprotected sex, college AU, Emo!Nanami, Bimbo!Reader, reader is actually a sweetheart and smart, blowjobs, making out, alcohol mentions, Kento is a bit of an asshole in this one, fluff, mentions of trauma word count: 3k! pairings: Emo!College!Kento Nanami x Fem!Bimbo!Reader summary: you and Nanami have classes together in university, and he just thinks you screwed your way into these classes. he makes it known one day what he thinks of you, and you snap. but when you meet up at a party, things get spicy.
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Nanami had himself convinced that you were bad news. Something about the way you were always applying that sticky lipgloss while looking at yourself in your cute Hello Kitty compact mirror just drove him insane. He had finally gotten himself into a very good university after leaving the sorcerer world behind, and here you were ruining his experience.
You were in quite a few of his classes, which surprises him. You don’t look like you know anything about finances or business, let alone simple arithmetic. You with your eyes so big and expressive, your lips just so juicy and pouty. How could you possibly know anything that he was working so hard on learning? How could a single thought run through that dumb head of yours?
And yet, you were so kind to him. Even when he brushed you off and gave you the cold shoulder, you were always there to lend a hand when you could. You were someone who would come to class with a box of baked goods to offer to everyone. You always had a spare pencil for someone, or an extra notepad to share. And you never ever said no to someone’s request to copy your notes whenever they had missed a class. In reality, despite your appearance, you were someone who just genuinely cared.
Still, Kento was often left fuming whenever he spotted you. He knew about the archetypes and stereotypes of those around him and even himself. He knew that people thought he was a freak for his appearance, and yet they would never know the horrors and trauma he had gone through. He keeps his hair long in the front, his hoodie is always pulled up whenever he gets the chance. He’s even wearing black nail polish and hardly ever washes off the leftover eyeliner and mascara.
The others look at him like he’s some sort of plague, and yet you don’t even glance at him like that. Your looks towards him are soft and sweet, but he just knows there is no way you wouldn’t trick a guy like him. Nanami has to remind himself that you’re just as bad as the others, and all the kind things you do for anyone, it’s all just a plot to have everyone under the spiked heel of your cute stilettos. You were a sweet girl, but underneath it all, Nanami was convinced you could scratch out his eyes with a swipe of your perfectly manicured nails.
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Yet he could never really pull himself away from you completely. You always smell so good, and your lips look so plump and juicy. Kento swears he can smell your lip gloss from a mile away. You’re almost too good to be true, he thinks to himself often. You must have a trail of guys following you around, simping and moaning just for you. So Nanami figures it’s just easier to hate you and deem you unworthy of his presence or his words.
Things change one day when you’re partnered up with him for a finance class project. You sit at your desk, doodling something in your cute pink notebook. There’s a feathery pom pom on the end of your pen. Nanami rolls his eyes and scoffs as he sits down near you, not daring to even be that close to you. He keeps his distance, narrowing his eyes at you.
“Hiya Ken~” you coo at him, making his heart skip a beat at the softness of your voice.
Kento scowls, “It’s Kento. Not Ken.”
You pout softly, “Oh, yeah okay. Kento it is.”
You duck your head down a little, somehow feeling so self-conscious. Nobody has made you feel this way before. You’re dejected because you’ve always thought he was so cute, and now that you get the chance to shoot your shot, he’s rejecting you already. So you begin looking at the page explaining the project and you discuss things with him quietly. He seems so disinterested in what you have to say, his eyes flickering towards other people in the classroom. He wishes he could be partnered up with anyone else but you. He’d rather do the project alone if he’s being completely honest. You start to feel like you aren’t wanted at all.
“Listen, we don’t even really need to do any of this together. We can just work on our own parts and submit them together.” You suggest, your cheeks a little pink from not being able to do a simple project with the guy you like.
Nanami watches you carefully, “Hmph, I doubt you can even complete your side of things.”
Your heart aches at this. You know you don’t have the appearance of a scholarly type, but you do well in your studies. You worked so hard to get this spot in the university. You come from a small town, and you never really had much growing up. So for you to finally get this shot and to be able to treat yourself to cute things you’ve always longed for, it means the world to you. But you were growing a bit more upset with every passing moment.
You thrust the pen in his direction, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Kento smirks, “Come on, there’s no way you really understand this material. Just admit that you got here by using your good looks and charm.”
This made you recoil. Your stomach was in knots from the thought of him implying that you fucked your way into this school. You frown and your big eyes fill up with tears. Suddenly, Nanami doesn’t feel so confident about what he’s saying anymore. He’s got guilt and regret rising up in his chest like acid.
“Is that truly what you think? You see a girl wearing pink and liking cute things and you think she’s fucked her way into university? Well screw you, Nanami Kento!”
You rise up from your seat and gather all your things. You excuse yourself to the teacher and make your way into the hallway. Tears slide down your cheeks, ruining the makeup you so meticulously put on this morning. You feel your stomach turning in knots, not sure how to even process all of this. You know you can prove him wrong, and you will.
ONE WEEK LATER
Despite the issues with Kento, you were still able to complete your side of the project and hand it in early. When you attended your classes, you ignored him. Your heart longed for him, but you were beginning to think maybe people were right about him. He’s just a freak. He’s mean and will probably cast a hex on you. Still, you think that people were always being too harsh. Just the way that Nanami had been with you. Judging people before getting to know them was always a bad habit that most people had, but you were someone who tried not to pass the judgement.
The weekend was fast approaching and the big party at the local frat house was what was on everyone’s mind. Everyone was going, and you knew that even Kento had been invited. Despite still feeling so sour after what had happened, you decide that you’re going to attend that party. And you were going to show him what he was missing out on. Just because you like cute things and wore makeup didn’t mean you weren’t someone smart and fun.
The night of the party arrives and you show up dressed in a sexy, tight pink dress. It’s strapless and hugs your curves in all the right ways. You talk to a few people, mingling as you get a few drinks into you. You’re not even really sure that he was going to show up, you were just feeling a little hopeful. The more drinks you had, the more you wanted him to be there so you could apologize about your outburst.
The moment he walks in the door, your heart stops and your breath hitches in your throat. He’s cleaned up, but he still carries himself the same way as usual. The hoodie up over his head, his bangs cascading down over one eye. You see that he’s cleaned up his peeling nail polish, and it seems like he’s applied a clean coat of mascara and eyeliner. You don’t know if you’ve ever seen him put this much effort into his appearance. This makes you wonder if he’s hoping to meet someone here. You look away, your eyes darting down to the drink in your hands.
The music is loud and you try to drown all your insecurities in this drink. You wish he’d come talk to you considering you were much too shy now to approach him. He looks so good tonight too, and you were feeling drunk enough to try to shoot your shot again even if he had made it clear what he truly thought of you. So you just go snag another mixed drink and go to the dancefloor.
It’s not long before you bump into him as you’re on your way to the kitchen for a cup of water. Both of you are a little shy about this at first, and Kento can barely look you in the eyes. He’s mortified that he would bump into you after all the shit he’s said to you.
“Hey,” you say shyly. You drink some of the water.
He smiles sheepishly, “Hi…”
Neither of you really know how to proceed. But eventually it’s all bubbling up inside of each other. Kento fiddles with the guitar pick necklace that sits on his collarbone. You really look so cute tonight—no, you look so sexy. He’s never seen anyone look this good in his entire life.
“Hey Ken…erm, Kento…about the other day,” you begin but he stops you.
He smirks, “I kind of like it when you call me Ken.”
You blush at his words. You have always loved giving people nicknames. It’s just a way of showing you care. You take another sip of your water and giggle gently. Kento reaches up and brushes stray hair from your face.
“So what were you going to say?” He asks, leaning in a little closer.
You smile, “I wanted to apologize for the way I snapped. I guess it wasn’t right of me to tell you to screw yourself.”
It’s Kento’s turn to blush. He begins to explain himself, saying how he completely misunderstood you and judged you even before he got to know you better. He’s profusely apologizing and all of this is going straight to your heart. Before either of you can say anything else, you grab him by the wrist and you lead him to the nearest room with the lock on the door. This happens to be the bathroom.
Once the door is locked, you push him against the wall and kiss him hungrily. This is the moment you can truly feel his body against yours, and you realize that he is quite muscular. Kento groans as your tongue slides into his mouth, rubbing against his in the most sensual way. He’s had sex before, but never has it been this hungry and passionate. 
Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging slightly to pull him even closer to you. You are so desperate to melt into every aspect of him. You want him, you need him more than anything else. You would forgo anything else in this world just to be forever in this moment with him.
“Ken, I think I’ve liked you since the moment I met you,”
Your confession hangs in the air, making his heart race. He didn’t even think someone like you could think twice about him. You’re so pretty and soft and you make him so tongue tied most of the time. Despite his anger and rude treatment towards you, he’s been in denial about his own feelings for you.
“Shit, I’ve been feeling the same. I guess I just couldn’t come to terms with it.”
You don’t let him say anything else, you just capture his lips with yours once more. He pulls you in closer, his large hands caressing your curves through that tight little dress. You moan into his mouth when his hands cup your breasts and squeeze gently. When you pull away to breathe, a string of saliva keeps you connected.
Without another word, you kneel in front of him. Kento cannot believe his eyes as you undo his studded belt and unzip his pants. Regardless of his own feelings of resentment, he’s always thought you had the prettiest lips. The perfect pair to give the kind of blowjobs you only see in the premium porn videos.
Your eyes widen when you pull out his length from the confines of his boxers. He’s not only lengthy, but he’s got the kind of girth that ruins sex with anyone else. You know now that you really don’t want to let him go at all. With a soft giggle, you lean in to kiss the dribbling tip. Kento grunts as he feels your slick lips on his cock. He reaches down to tangle his fingers in your pretty, soft tresses. You spend a long time just pressing sloppy kisses to his cock. Then you lick all the way down the base, your tongue licking at his balls now. He shudders under your ministrations, knowing it’s going to be hard to hold on if he lets you continue for too much longer.
The moment you wrap your lips around the head of his cock and begin taking him into your mouth, Kento knows he’s hooked to this treatment. He knows he’s going to have to fuck you so good to show you how sorry he is about the shit he said about you the other day. You begin bobbing your head up and down, swallowing around him. He lets you suck him with expertise for a little while before he tugs on your hair and pulls you back up to kiss him.
“Get that pretty ass on the counter,” he says as he picks you up. You barely have to do anything as he sets you on the bathroom counter. He leans into another fierce kiss, this time he’s really taking the lead.
Kento doesn’t even bother undressing either of you. He just shoves your dress up over your hips, his other hand busy playing with your soaked pussy. He smirks when he realizes that you’re this aroused just from a little kissing and sucking his cock. He loves that he has this effect on you.
“You this wet just from blowing me?” he teases as his fingers push your panties to the side. Your eyes roll back as he rubs your clit in slow circles.
“Ken…” you breathe. You’re already so needy for him.
He spreads your thighs and spits into his hand. The saliva gets mixed with your own juices to coat his cock before he slides into you with one long thrust. You cling to him, your nails digging into his shoulders as he begins to pump into you. You’ve never ever felt this full in your life. All you can do is hold onto him and have him fuck you stupid.
“Please please…” you beg as the tip of his cock brushes against the sweet spot deep inside you. “Fuck me, Ken.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. He picks up his pace, and you wrap your legs around him to pull him closer. You lock your ankles, keeping him in place. He hammers himself into you over and over, his breath hot on your face and neck as he grunts and groans.
“You gonna be my pretty girl?” he asks, locking eyes with you.
You feel so shy all of a sudden, “Y-yours?” You let out a moan when he thrusts into you particularly hard. 
“Yeah, mine. You gonna be my pretty girl?”
Your mind is reeling from all this pleasure. The coil in your stomach is tightening fast, and the thought of being exclusively Kento’s girl seems to be pushing you further and further towards your peak. You gasp as one of his hands slips between you, rubbing your clit slowly and with precision. You can barely think straight at this point. The room is filled with the lewd, wet sounds of your skin slapping together with every harsh thrust.
“Gotta answer me, baby. Or else I won’t let you cum.”
You whine, “Ken, please. I just…I can’t…”
He chuckles darkly. He’s never had this much power during sex before and it’s turning him on. He knows that you’re already such a little cutie and a sweetie, but he could easily turn you into his perfect little spoiled princess. He begins to pull away, making your orgasm slowly subside.
“I’ll be yours! ‘Wanna be only yours!” you squeal, trying to pull him back in.
Kento smirks and then he nips at your lower lip, “That’s what I like to hear.”
He gets back into the rhythm you need to cum. His thumb rubs your clit, making your thighs shudder and shake around him. As the pleasure builds, you feel tears streaming down your cheeks. Your back arches as stars dance in your vision. A shaky breath falls from your plump lips before you cry out his name. Your silky walls begin to pulse and clench around his already throbbing cock, pushing him over the edge just behind you. Shots of his thick, hot cum fill your waiting womb.
Slowly, you both grind against one another to prolong the pleasure. Then you both still, just basking in the afterglow of the pleasure. Kento kisses you softly, using both his hands to wipe away your tears.
“I’m really sorry for that bullshit I said the other day. You’re a good girl,” He says, pecking your lips.
“It’s okay, Ken. I forgive you.”
You’re both interrupted by a loud knock, followed by a series of giggles and cackles. Your cover is blown, but neither of you really care. The only thing that matters is that you have each other.
Kento helps you freshen up and dress once more, and you help him tuck his softening cock back into his pants. Then, hand in hand, you both exit the bathroom. You’re all smiles as you leave the party, walking on cloud nine as you lead him back to your dorm for round two.
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girl-next-door-writes · 2 months
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A Little Comfort
Characters: George Weasley x reader
Summary: George Weasley finds himself longing for the comfort of being the little spoon, but his pride and embarrassment hold him back from asking. As he navigates his feelings, he discovers that vulnerability can lead to unexpected moments of intimacy.
Word Count: 1022 words
Prompt: Georgie wanting to be the little spoon but too embarrassed to ask. Just well built guy wanting spooned or to sit in your lap with his hair getting played with.
A/N:  anon
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George Weasley was many things: a prankster, an inventor, a loyal friend. But there was one thing he longed for more than anything else, something he kept hidden behind his confident facade—the desire to be cared for, to let his guard down and be wrapped up in the arms of someone who loved him. George Weasley just wanted to find love. It wasn't something he openly admitted to, especially not to his twin brother Fred, who would never let him live it down. George had always been the one to be the protector, but lately, he found himself yearning for the warmth and comfort of being held.
It was a quiet evening at The Burrow, the fire crackling in the hearth as George sat with his family, lost in his thoughts. He watched as his siblings and their significant others chatted and laughed, envy gnawing at him as he longed for the kind of closeness they shared.
As the night wore on, George found himself drawn to the idea of being held more and more. He imagined the feeling of strong arms wrapped around him, the gentle strokes of fingers through his hair, and the soothing rhythm of a heartbeat against his back. But admitting his desire felt like an insurmountable hurdle. What would his people think? Would they mock him mercilessly, or worse, pity him for his vulnerability? George couldn't bear the thought of being seen as weak, even if it meant denying himself the comfort he craved.
The days passed, and George's longing only grew stronger. He tried to bury his feelings beneath layers of humor and bravado, but they lingered in the back of his mind, a constant reminder of what he was denying himself. Every person who crossed his path was assessed for romantic partner potential, but nobody seemed to measure up.
One evening, as the family gathered for dinner at The Burrow. Charlie had brought one of his many friends with him and George found himself sitting next to you. He stole glances at you when he thought no one was looking, admiring the way your eyes sparkled with laughter and the way your smile lit up the room. This wasn’t the first time you had been a guest of the Weasley family but there was something different this time, something that seemed to call out to George, drawing him in.
As the meal progressed, George's desire to be near you grew almost unbearable. He could hardly concentrate on the conversation, his mind consumed with thoughts of you holding him close, your soft touch soothing his troubled heart. But as much as he longed for it, George couldn't bring himself to ask. The fear of rejection, of being laughed at or dismissed, held him back, trapping him in a cycle of longing and self-doubt.
After dinner, as the family dispersed to their various activities, George found himself alone with you in the living room. The fire cast a warm glow over the room, bathing everything in a soft, flickering light.
"Hey, George," you said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you. "Are you okay? You seem a bit...distracted tonight."  
George hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to confide in you. But something in your eyes, the genuine concern and warmth you showed him, gave him the courage to speak.
"I...I've been feeling a bit off lately," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just...struggling with some things, you know?"
You nodded sympathetically, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his arm. "I'm here if you want to talk about it," you offered gently. “I know we’ve never really talked, but, and don’t tell Charlie this, you are most likely my favourite Weasley.”
George felt a lump form in his throat, the weight of his unspoken desires pressing down on him.
“Thanks. I mean, for the talking and the favourite thing.” His cheeks flushed a little as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. You were always so kind to him, it was no surprise he seemed to have developed a bit of a crush on you. “Things have just been a little…” he trailed off; his brow furrowed.
“Stressful? I know you must be feeling a little like a third wheel now Fred and Angelina are together. It’ll be fine though, just focus on what you want.”
George considered your words, and, in a moment of bravery, he blurted out what he had been so desperately trying to keep in; too afraid to confess.
"I...I want to be the little spoon," he confessed, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
To his surprise, you didn't laugh or mock him. Instead, you smiled softly, your eyes shining with understanding and compassion.
"George," you said, your voice soft and reassuring. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be held. Everyone needs comfort sometimes, even the strongest among us. I think you’d make quite a good little spoon.”
With those words, something inside George shifted. The weight of his fears began to lift, replaced by a sense of relief and acceptance. He had bared his soul to you, and instead of ridiculing him, you had embraced him with open arms.
"Thank you," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.
Without hesitation, you pulled him into a warm embrace, wrapping your arms around him and holding him close. George leaned into your touch, savoring the feeling of being held, his eyes closing as he wrapped his arms around you in return.
Several hours later, Charlie wandered through the living room, his eyebrow raising and a smirk playing on his lips at the scene before him. The two of you were lay on the sofa, half asleep. You were stroking George’s hair and whispering words of comfort, while George’s eyes were closed, a contented smile on his lips and a sense of peace washing over him. Charlie slowly backed out of the room, leaving the two of you in peace. He’d always wondered how long it would take you and George to get together, and now it didn’t seem like he’d have to wait much longer for that answer.
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marvelouslizzie · 1 year
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Trust In What Tomorrow Brings - Co-written with @notafunkiller
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Summary: After your first date with Bucky Barnes, you two spend some time alone in your apartment. That's when you realize you actually want to keep him.
Pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, second encounter, teasing, pet names, sir and sergeant kink, a tiny bit of mommy kink, mentions of past relationships, mentions of trauma, protected and unprotected sex, praising dirty talking mixture, dry humping, ripped clothing, face riding, blowjob, rough sex, multiple orgasms, light punishment, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 11.9K
A/N: This is technically a second chapter to You’re My Desire but you don't need to read the first chapter to understand what's going on since this is their second date. We actually planned it as a one-shot but somehow 40s Bucky and this universe didn't want us to be done. So here we are with a sequel. We kinda went overboard with it because we just want Bucky to have a little bit of a good time in the middle of the war.
Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's a great writer and a talented creator in general.
All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.
Read more tag starts after the fourth paragraph of the story.
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You may wanna read You're My Desire first
"This is absolutely crazy. They are all yours?" Bucky's fascinated smile is so cute that you smile, too.
“Oh yeah, I have been collecting books for a long time.”
"What's this?" He takes a book with a white cover that had no title or author written on it and analyzes it carefully.
“No, no, no.” You immediately try to take it back. “That’s not for your eyes, mister.”
"What?" Bucky snorts. "Is that your diary or what?"
“No, it’s not my diary.” You try to take the book back again, but you're not successful.
"Then why not?" He is even more curious now, turning his back a little to you to open it. "Even a dedication, huh? Is it from an old lover?" 
“No, it’s not. Come on, give it back.”
He sighs, not wanting to push you and hands you the book. "Okay, sorry."
You didn’t expect him to give up this easily. His consideration makes you wanna share a little bit more with him. So you open up a page and show him.
“This is why you aren’t supposed to see this.”
He was careful not to hurt her as he pushed her.
Her skin was so soft under his touch that nothing matters anymore.
"Oh god," Bucky covers his mouth. "Is the whole book like this, doll?"
“Pretty much.” You giggle a little, amused by his cute reaction.
"Wanna read it to me?" He winks.
“You can read it yourself if you wanna learn a thing or two.”
"Excuse you?" Bucky raises his eyebrow. "Are you questioning my skills now?"
You throw your head back, laughing, and Bucky crosses his arms with a frown as he watches you.
“I’m teasing you.”
"Sure." He puffs. He knows you have experience, but what if he doesn't keep up to your expectations?
“I’m really teasing you. Half of the things they do sound unrealistic.”
"Give me an example." His voice is somehow a little vulnerable.
You take a big breath, already regretting this. “Let’s see: having sex underwater like crazy. The girl is… wet for hours. They are going at it all night, and the guy comes several times in a row.”
Bucky snorts, coming closer to you. "Does he have the super super serum? Because that's not biologically possible."
“That’s exactly what I meant.“
"Yet you still read them. Who wrote this?"
“There aren’t many options when it comes to these kinds of books. The author is not written as you can see.” 
"How do you find them though?" He's genuinely curious.
“Mostly we borrow from each other. This one is my favorite so I bought a copy.”
"We? Who's we?"
“Girls. Exchanging books.”
Bucky's eyes glow all of a sudden. "Like a book club?"
“Yeah, like a book club.” You can’t help but smile at how excited he is.
"Oh god. Is it only for girls?" He tries to calm down a little, but this is so interesting he can't control himself. 
Your smile turns into a full laugh. “You wanna read erotic books with girls?”
Bucky groans embarrassed as he covers his face. "No, of course not. I was just wondering. I can read erotic books with my girl."
“Your girl?” You raise your right eyebrow playfully.
"Aren't you?" He drops the hand from his face to grab yours.
“It depends on you.” You really wanna kiss him, but you hold yourself back.
Bucky surprises you by grabbing your ass and pulling you into him. Your book falls on the floor, but neither of you cares as he kisses you gently. "Want to be my girl, doll?"
“Yes, yes.”
"Are you sure? I can't make love to you the whole night," Bucky says amused.
You laugh. “I don’t think I would survive that even if you could.”
He joins you in laughter. "I'd probably die mid-thrust."
“You know what, though?”
"What?"
“I didn’t think having sex against the wall was realistic. You know, carrying the other person the whole time while thrusting. I thought that no more than 2 or 3 minutes could be possible, but you proved me wrong.”
Bucky looks at her surprised. "Really?"
“Yeah, really. I still don’t know how you did that.”
"I just held you. I'm a soldier." He brushes it off. "Maybe your... friends need to exercise more."
“My friends?” You repeat in a joking manner.
"Special friends."
“I don’t have any special friends.”
"Doll," he groans. "You know what I mean."
“I know and I never had any special friends.”
Bucky sighs. "Your previous... partners."
“I just had one partner, and he wasn’t a special friend. He was my fiancé.”
"Oh?" He feels like a total fool for assuming that. The word engagement, though… That burns a hole in his stomach. "Your fiance? What happened?" 
“He got drafted, and then I found out he was cheating on me. So I broke off the engagement.”
Bucky can't believe it. How could he do that? "Wow, I'm sorry. I have no idea what to say. When did it happen?"
“Over a year ago.” You offer a little more information with a bitter smile. You're glad you found out then. It would have been a mess if you had gotten married before that. “It’s okay. You already said more than he ever did.”
"I..." Bucky takes a step back. You're probably still in pain. Maybe even in love or regretting what could have been. He doesn't know how to process this. "I'm sorry once again."
“It’s okay.” You shrug. “And look, I know what kind of impression I gave you on that first date. So if you don’t believe I only had one partner before, I understand it.”
"That's not... I frankly don't care how many partners you had. That is the last thing I'd ever care about. What we did was to follow our needs." He sighs. "But I want to know what you really want us to be. Because I am not sure I would be the right guy to mend your heart only."
He wants a whole lot more.
“I am not expecting you to mend my heart, Bucky.”
"You talked about pain," he says naively.
“Pain that happened in the past. I’m not in pain anymore.”
"Oh." He slaps his forehead. "I'm sorry. I misunderstood, I guess. I was surprised because we have a connection and I felt like you liked me back, so hearing that you suffer..." Bucky's eyes soften. "He's an idiot. He never deserved you. A coward and a horrible man. I am sorry you had to go through this."
You wrap your arms around his neck. “You think we have a connection, huh?” You ignore the rest. You don’t wanna think about the past anymore.
"I hope you feel it, too." He sounds so shy and vulnerable you can't help yourself but smile.
“You are in my apartment all alone. What do you think?”
"I think we should dance."
“Dance?” You are surprised by his sudden suggestion.
"Yes. I mean, I am not a great dancer, but I’m decent enough. Can we?"
“Yeah, of course. We should put some music on first.”
"You have a record player?! He doesn't even try to hide his shock and excitement anymore, so you grab him by his hand and drag him toward your record player. 
You watch him staring at the big pile of records on the table.
“I have my apartment now, so I can spend my money on books, records, and stuff to cook.”
"Can you adopt me?" He jokes, without taking his eyes off your record player. "Wanna be my mommy? You can be my special young mama."
“Oh?” You try really hard not to smile, a little confused. “How does that work?”
"How do you think it works?" He's not even trying to sound seductive, but he still does. You have to take a deep breath, trying to keep your excitement down.
“I really don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
"Hmm, maybe another time. How about we dance?"
“Okay,” you say and you start to go through your records until you find Frank Sinatra. You put the record on and manage to find There Are Such Things really quickly.
"I love this one! You have a treasure here, doll." You extend your hand out and wait for him to take it so you two can start dancing. "Wanna sway with me, ma'am?" He finally takes your hand and brings you closer.
“I would love that.”
You're not surprised he's a good dancer. You expected this to be honest. But his goofiness, his funny faces, the way his voice feels so pleasant as he sings the lyrics… You feel shy to sing along when he's such a good singer, so you only hum against his chest.
He is warm and strong under your touch. It makes you remember the time you were much closer than this. You wondered what got into you that day, why you acted the way you did. He’s just intoxicating, and you would totally do it all over again.
"What are you thinking about?” He looks at you. “You seem distracted. Wanna do something else?"
His voice takes you back to reality. You are ashamed to admit you were thinking about sex, so you snuggle against his chest.
“No. Let’s keep dancing.”
"Only if you tell me what got you so distracted." You feel his lips on your head as he speaks.
“Your touch.” You try to be honest but also not expose yourself completely.
"What about it? Already tired of it?" You know he does it intentionally. He's so easy to read at this point.
“Yeah, so tired of it, that’s why I wanna keep dancing.” You try to surpass the urge to smile.
Bucky snorts, unable to contain himself. "All types of dancing?"
“How many types of dancing do you know, Sergeant?”
"One that you know for sure, too. We practiced it before." The change of tone is so obvious, and his hands fully wrap around your hips, pushing you more against him. He's so hard.
You look up, not moving away from his chest when you realize you aren’t the only one thinking about sex just because you are dancing. It’s a relief.
“I thought we were doing a regular dance,” you say, but the smile on your lips is giving away your actual feelings about this situation.
"Isn't this regular?"
"If you want it to be."
"Sounds good to me."
"Where should we dance, though? Kitchen? Bedroom? Here? Bathroom?" You start to laugh. He’s such an idiot. "Floor?" He joins you and starts to laugh as well.
“Floor?” You frown. “I think we deserve a bed this time.”
"I was teasing you," He lifts your chin to kiss you properly. "Thought you liked it rough."
“It can be rough in bed.”
He groans at the thought of taking you hard in a soft bed. "I might break it, doll."
“I bet you could.”
"Is that a challenge?" You love the subtle tone in his voice.
“No, it’s a prediction.”
And just like that you finally realize the music has stopped, only the sound of the needle-moving breaking the silence.
"Should we, uhm, play another or…?" He asks curiously, letting you go.
“We can, but I am a little hungry. We can listen while eating, and you can choose the time. How does that sound?”
Bucky's eyes widen. "That's perfect."
*
"I love this. Where did you get it from?" He's playing with the bracelet you're wearing as he eats another strawberry, laying on the couch next to you. It feels so natural, like you did this a million times before, yet still exciting.
“Oh, this?” You move your arm a little, but not away from him. “It belonged to my grandmother.”
"It's so beautiful, a perfect fit for you."
“She told me my grandfather gifted this when they got engaged.”
"Rich." He can't help himself but comment. "Sorry, I mean it's really beautiful, but also kind of expensive. He must have loved her very much." Then he places a small kiss on your wrist, right below your bracelet. 
You laugh a little. “How do you think I could afford all this stuff?”
Bucky clears his throat, nervous. "You have a point, I just don't think about money. I don't come from a rich family."
“If you were, you wouldn’t be fighting in this war.” Your tone is suddenly more serious than you intended.
"So you don't mind going out with a nobody?" He sighs, just as serious.
“You are not nobody. Not to me!” You caress his cheek. “You are James Bucky Barnes.”
He melts under your touch immediately. He doesn't remember the last time he felt this type of warmth.
"You're so sweet."
“Wait. Does this mean…” You aren’t sure how to ask, but his comments about being rich remind you of the conversation you had not long ago. ���The adopting or mommy thing you said. Does it mean this?”
He laughs so hard you can't believe it. Did you misunderstand? Is it not what it really means?
"I don't know, mama. What do you think that means?"
“Oh, come on! I have no idea and you know it!”
"I think you do."
“Nope. Not at all. Maybe you just want kids. That would make me a mama, right?”
"Hmm." Suddenly he’s distracted by that idea. He's simply too busy imagining his come dripping out of you to give you a proper answer, making you even more curious. 
“You are such a tease,” you grumble.
"What does that mean?"
“What do you think that means?” You mimic his question.
Bucky taps his thigh and smiles. "Come here. You can ask me anything." You look at his thighs and then back into his eyes, biting your lip. That offer is so appealing. "I thought you trusted my strength."
“Oh, I do.” You move a bit closer, but not on his lap. “I am just not trusting myself.”
He gasps, bringing you closer himself. "Fuck, why?"
“You know the answer to this one.” You remark cheekly.
"No, I really don't."
“You are lying, mister. You know what I mean when I say I don’t trust myself.” You move your legs, trying to find a comfortable position.
"I don't know exactly what you mean."
“You might find out later then.”
He groans, moving his hands to your breasts, unsure. "I wanna know now."
“I'll tell you only if you promise me that you'll explain the mom thing.” You like how distracted he looks, so you keep leaning in.
"You're a mommy right now."
“And what does that actually mean?”
He's too focused on your breasts to even hear you. "Fuck, look at those hard little things." He can't help but pinch one of your nipples.
“Bucky!”
"So squishy." He's so fascinated as he squeezes the other breast eagerly. He's like a distracted child.
You move a little bit back, so he can’t touch them. "No!" He immediately complains, reaching out to touch them again. "How dare you!"
“No answer, no touching.”
He lifts his head and gives you the most betrayed look you've ever seen. His eyes are almost glossy. "You can't take them away."
“I can actually.” You move a little bit more. “See? They come wherever I go.”
Bucky gasps, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer. "Don't you dare!"
“You are so dramatic.” You laugh while hugging him back.
"I am not." He pouts, burying his face into your boobs again. 
“You are.” You move your hips just a little while still hugging him.
"What are you doing?"
“Nothing.”
"Nothing?" He moves his hips, too.
You make a sound you don’t expect but try to act like it didn’t happen. “Yeah, nothing.”
"Fuck me," he whispers to himself before taking your nipple in his mouth through the blouse. He wants to make you moan like that again. He needs to.
“Jesus, Bucky!”
"I'm your Jesus now?" He asks teasingly, switching to the other nipple.
“You can be my God if you keep doing that.” Shit, where did this response come from? He brings out a part of you that you didn’t know it even existed.
"You can't say this." He cries out unexpectedly, still licking you through your blouse. "You can't."
“Why?” It comes out like a whine.
"It's too much."
“You are too much.”
His hands grab the edge of your blouse without warning, but before he can rip it off, you slap his arms. 
“You can just take things off without ripping them, you know?” You take the top off yourself, showing him how it’s done. “See, it’s not that hard.”
He ignores your comment and doesn't even warn you before grabbing your boobs and squeezing them together. "Missed you." Then he brings his head right between them, snuggling. You can’t help but laugh. "What's so funny?"
“You are. Look at you.”
"Can't look at me. I'm looking at something better." He licks the valley between your breasts without letting them go, and you curse under your breath. "Gonna take them away from me again?" He lets his tongue get to your right breast, and you feel his teeth dangerously close to your nipple now, making you moan.
“I think I should shut my mouth. I’m boosting your ego way too much.” You play because he’s boosting your ego, too. 
"You can shut my mouth, baby. Anytime."
“Shut your mouth how?” You bring your hands over his mouth. “Like this?”
He bites your fingers in response. "Nope. Try again."
You move your hand to his neck and put a little pressure. “Maybe like this?”
He lets out the lowest moan you've ever heard from his mouth, closing his eyes. "Oh."
“Am I getting closer?” You ask. His eyes are so dark when he opens them, you're shocked. “Or did you mean something else?” You whisper right into his ear.
"Ihm. I did, can you guess?" He tries to distract himself before he can think about how much he enjoyed your grip on his neck. 
“I’m out of ideas,” you say, making him drop his hand to your skirt. His fingers are playing with the edge of it. You can feel the implication of him wanting to take your skirt off. “You want me to… Shut you up with… Like that?”
"Imagine it." He closes his eyes, palming you over your underwear. "You'd be able to control the movements more." 
“Did you… try this before? I don’t wanna hurt you.”
"You think you can hurt me?" He sounds so offended. "Oh, hell no. We should do this right now and I'll show you."
“Of course, I can hurt you. I could crush you!”
He looks at you amused. "Can't wait. Now come here and don't you dare hold back or you'll get a punishment. Got it?"
“Punishment?” Your eyes widen upon hearing that word. You aren’t sure if it’s scary or exciting. Could be both.
"I don't mean hurting you." He realizes immediately how this sounded. "I mean... spanking lightly."
“Oh, that kind of punishment.” You get a bit more relaxed, but your heart is beating fast. You move yourself where he wants you, but it feels so wrong. “I am afraid I might suffocate you.”
Bucky wants to protest immediately, but he stops himself. He knows you only need reassurance.
"How about we have a sign? If I tap three times on the couch, we stop. How about that?"
“Tap on me. Doesn’t matter where. Just on me, so I can feel it immediately.”
He nods, all melted. "Okay, now please don't hover." He gently orders.
“Tell me if I do anything wrong.” 
You lower yourself on his face while trying to gather your skirt up for him.
"Can I rip it off or not?"
“You can. I knew you were gonna ask that, so I wore something I don’t like much.”
"Skirt too?" 
“No. Not the skirt because I can take it off easily.” You unzip the skirt and take it off your head. “See?”
"Shame..," he says disappointed before finally ripping your underwear off with only one hand. "Finally!"
“You are a savage, Sergeant Barnes.”
"And I think you love that."
“Very much.” You lower yourself on his face, practically shutting him up like he wanted. He doesn't disappoint as he moans against you, making sure you're not hovering before pushing his tongue inside you. “Oh my god!” You yelp when you feel his warm tongue for the first time.
He can't answer as he's too busy eating you, but you feel his hands squeezing your skin harder. You spread your legs even further to feel his tongue better. It feels so good that you have a hard time keeping your voice down.
"Good girl." His praise goes directly to your core, and you curse under your breath, thinking you won’t last long. He can't help himself but bring one of his hands to your clit, hesitating.
“Just your tongue.” You request while moaning, and he agrees wordlessly.
You start to move your hips back and forth, trying not to go overboard and Bucky seems to love it, groaning louder against you, moving his tongue. As it gets more delightful, you have a hard time balancing yourself, so you grab onto his hair with one hand.
"Fuck!" He takes his mouth off just to curse. "Pull as hard as you want."
You pull his hair a little bit more before he puts his mouth back on you, just to see his reaction.
"Jesus, I'm..." he's so hard and excited that he's already started to leak. "I'm gonna make a mess on your couch."
“I’m already making a mess on my couch.” You are dripping wet, and he’s worried about making the mess. He’s so cute, especially when he’s laying down to please you like this.
"Keep bouncing, baby," he demands, then in no time, his tongue is flat, ready to be used by you, and you don’t hesitate.
You hold onto his hair with your right hand as you ride his tongue. You don't even realize how hard you pull until you hear his moans, encouraging you to keep going. He's clearly not suffocating, and you don’t realize how fast you are moving your hips, either. Not until you explode on his face, moaning mindlessly while trying to keep your shaking legs moving until you are done coming.
What surprises you the whole time is how he doesn't stop using his tongue until you finish, trying to hold you in place so he can give you more pleasure. You move yourself back a little after you are done, sitting on his chest and trying to catch your breath. You feel like a mess. 
"How was it?" He doesn't move as he asks you that, only wiping his face with the back of his left hand.
“Earth-shattering. Wow.”
He snorts before licking his fingers right under your eyes. "Gonna listen to me next time?"
“Yes, sir,” you jokingly say, feeling boneless but still needing more.
"No." His answer comes more like a groan than an affirmation. "You can't… call me sir."
“Why not, sir?”
"God, it sounds so... great." He doesn't know what else to say, covering his face shily.
“Did I just discover something about you or did you already know this?” You finally move away from his chest, leaning down to kiss him.
"It's something new."
“What about Sargeant? That you must have known.” You move your lips to his cheek, just making them brush his skin.
"Come on. Kiss me." He complains.
“Ask nicely.”
"Please?"
You finally kiss him on the cheek. "You are so pretty when you beg." Then you move your lips to his jaw and neck.
"You are even prettier when you listen." 
"Am I? What if I don't listen?"
He brings his hand to your neck. "You're a bad, bad girl. And bad girls get punished." He smiles.
"I never got punished in bed before."
He smiles. "What would you want to try? Spanking as I suggested before?"
"You are giving the orders, remember? Not me."
Bucky raises his eyebrow. "You mean you pretend I'm giving the orders."
"Maybe I want you to give the orders, not just pretend." He squeezes the sides of the neck.
"You can try whatever you wanna try. You can give orders, just stop whenever I say stop."
"Deal.”
*
It feels strange to have him in your bedroom, truth be told. Especially watching him getting rid of his underwear and socks this close to you. His hair bounces with every move, so you can't help but giggle. And he looks so good. Really good, especially under proper lighting.
It’s not the first time you are seeing him half-naked, but you definitely didn’t get a good look while having a quickie in a dark alley. His body looks toned, strong, and capable. You are dying to feel his touch, but you stand still, waiting for him to come to you.
"How many taps when you want me to stop?"
“Three.”
"Good." He smiles assuringly before slowly spreading your legs further. "You're so cute waiting for me."
“Just cute?”
He shakes his head, finally positioning himself at your entrance. His eyes are stuck on you: your hair, face, neck, chest. "You're sweet too," he teases, pushing inside you.
“Fuck.” You moan silently. It feels so good to feel him inside you again. “Sweet? Anything else?” You voice comes out so breathy.
"Smart. Nerdy." He leans in, putting more of his weight onto his elbows. "Beautiful. Brave. Loud and adorable."
“Brave?” You look confused while biting your bottom lip, trying not to make a loud sound.
"Aren't you?" He smiles, starting to thrust a little faster, but not enough to make it impossible to speak. At least for now. "Brave to move on from a failed engagement. Brave to live with your friend here. Brave to accept our date. Brave to test me." His laugh is so contagious.
You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. “You think I tested you?” Your lips are inches away from his.
"I know you did." He kisses you, not waiting for you to do it as he lifts one of your legs on his shoulder. "At the fair." He sounds out of breath this time, his thrusts hitting a little deeper.
You wanna say you didn’t, that it wasn’t a test. It is something that happened, and you don’t regret it, but instead, a loud moan escapes your mouth. The angle change fills you with a different kind of pleasure. 
"What a responsive doll you are." He smiles against your neck. "So perfect for me." You pull your legs, spreading your legs even further to give him more space to move. It makes his thrusts feel even better somehow. "Jesus, this is..." He's trying to find the perfect words to describe how he feels, but there are none. "Heaven."
“Oh, god!” It’s hard to keep your voice down when he latches onto the closest nipple, Whatever he’s doing with that tongue, it helps you to feel better down there. It’s driving you closer to your release.
"I'm your god now?" He jokes, stopping the sucking for a few seconds just to tease you.
“Yes! Yes, you are. Keep doing that and I will worship you later.”
He doesn't just continue lick and suck on your breast, he also starts thrusting deeper than before. The sound of the bed moving is even more obvious now. There is no way your neighbors don't know what is happening. 
“Shit!” It’s so hard not to curse when he’s pounding like that, hitting all the right spots. “I’m so close,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down. “Just keep going, don’t change anything.” 
"Just like this?" He asks, keeping the same pace as you asked. "Are you going to be good and enjoy yourself?"
“You have no idea…” You try to collect yourself to form a sentence. “How good I feel right now.”
"I do," he says breathlessly before letting his teeth and tongue mark your neck. The pain you feel somehow enhances the pleasure, and you suddenly find yourself throwing your head back, shutting your eyes, and moaning his name over and over again. You’re coming so hard. "I feel like... Doll, please, say my name again."
“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.” It’s all you wanna say anyway. “Please, don’t stop. Please!” You have no idea why you’re begging. You know he won’t stop, yet you still wanna do it. You still wanna beg him not to stop. It feels that good, that precious.
"Never." He manages to answer you between moans. "I'd rather die."
“Oh god, I think I…” Pleasure keeps hitting you in waves. “I might be dying myself.” You never had an orgasm this long. Your whole body is tensed up. You can actually hear your ears ringing.
"Gonna come for you, pretty doll." He bites your neck on another spot.
“Please, please.” It’s like you forgot all the other words. You watch him through a haze how he reaches his orgasm, saying your name like a whisper as he suddenly stays still inside you.
After he finishes, you close the distance and give him a big kiss. Sloppy and loving. It feels like you are thanking him for all the pleasure he’s just given you.
"Hi." He smiles. "Are you good?"
“God! I feel like I am still on the clouds.” You caress his face, carefully admiring his features. “What about you?”
He smiles. "I'm in heaven."
“Does it always feel this good?” The words come out of your mouth unintentionally. You really didn’t mean to ask that out loud. It was just a thought. “I mean, I don’t know what you are doing different to make it feel so good. I didn’t experience this before.” You keep rambling, trying to explain yourself. “So I wonder if it is supposed to feel this good all the time. But I’m not trying to question your past or anything. Don’t get me wrong.” You would keep talking if he didn’t cut you off.
"Breathe, baby. No, it doesn't feel like this with everyone else because you don't always have a connection. I am so glad to hear I made you happy." He smiles like a fool.
You cover your face with your hands. “I shouldn’t have asked that, I am sorry. It feels like it’s something you keep to yourself.” 
"What? No. Ask me and I'll answer."
You finally take your hands off your face.
“Okay. I have another question then.” He’s still inside you. and you can feel him getting hard again. “Is it normal that you are already getting hard inside me this quickly?”
He groans. "Told you, you felt amazing."
“That’s not my question, though. Is this normal for you? You always get hard this quickly after coming?” You insist because you wanna know. You have a feeling there’s something different about him, and you wanna prove it to him. 
He has no idea about your intention, though. He’s worried that he’s hurting you, so in a few seconds, he quickly gets out of you. 
"Sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." He raises from the bed, taking off the used condom as he walks to the nightstand. "And yes, I do become hard like this. Why?"
“You didn’t hurt me.” You want to quickly clear that up. “And you know it takes at least half an hour for other men, right? That’s not… how it normally works.”
Bucky laughs. "They haven't met you."
“I’m talking from experience this time. In this case, they met me. This has nothing to do with me.”
He rolls the second condom on as he speaks. "Maybe I'm a lucky man."
“Okay, you are ignoring too many signs. I have to prove it to you. Bring me that small mirror.” 
Bucky starts laughing, but he does what you ask him to, then coming back.. "What are you gonna do, huh?"
You sit on his lap, and just like that he’s back inside you.
“Welcome back.” You joke with a smile. “Now gimme the mirror.” He hands it over, and without explaining anything, you lean down, gently licking and sucking on a certain spot. 
Bucky tries desperately not to thrust his hips. After a while, you start to bite his neckless gently, which makes you feel a little guilty.
He doesn't seem to mind though. Quite the contrary. "You can bite harder.”
“Hmm…” If he doesn’t mind, you don’t mind biting harder either. So you do it again, dragging the skin with your teeth. “God, you’re so delicious.”
His hands find their way to your breasts, making sure not to grab them too hard. You bite the same spot again, fand a red spot is already forming.
"Little artist," he says when you reach for the mirror, turning it to him so he can see his neck. It’s clearly dark red. "See? You gave me a hickey. Congrats, baby." He smiles proudly and kisses your cheek.
“Let’s see how long it will take you to heal.”
Bucky rolls his eyes. "I just have a ticker skin, baby. Now come on, please, do something. Why are you torturing me?"
“I’m a small, adorable girl. I don’t know how I am supposed to move.” You are fully lying, and he knows it. So he decides to play your game.
"Bounce a little. Up and down."
You act like you are trying and failing. “Like this?”
Bucky shakes his head. "Try again. Change the angle a bit."
“Oh, come on, Bucky.” You whine. You love and hate how he quickly catches up to whatever you try to do.
"You should be a good little girl and try it yourself."
“Fine.” You frown and start moving for real this time, and he immediately wraps his arms properly around your waist.
"What's wrong?" 
“I was teasing you, so you would get tired of it and take control.”
He smiles. "I know."
In response, you punch him in his shoulder. “Then why didn’t you?”
"Why would I give you what you want now?" His voice drops lower. "Wanna push your limits."
“My limits?” You repeat as he brushes your nipples. “You wanna torture me? Make me desperate? Is that what it is?”
Bucky smiles, getting his lips close to yours again, but before he can kiss you, he takes you by the back of the head and moves you. You whine when he gets out of you.
“Bucky! What the fuck?”
"I need you to trust me, okay?" He tries to help get on all fours as he speaks. You nod in agreement. "Need your ass a little higher."
“My ass?” You sound a little afraid. You are definitely not ready for that if that’s his intention.
"Yes." He doesn't notice the change in your tone right away. "Promise I don't- oh, I don't plan on doing anything like that I promise. Just trust me."
You take a deep breath of relief. “Okay.”
"Put your weight on your elbows, okay?" You do as he asks. You switch the weight, putting your head down while your ass goes higher. "Do you feel comfortable?" 
“It’s a little weird, but not uncomfortable.”
"Ready?"
“Yes!” You sound impatient, and he quickly pushes inside you. Not too much, afraid he might hurt you in any way.  It must feel way deeper like this, and he doesn't want to risk it.
"God," he finds himself moaning. "You feel so good." You can’t respond to him though. All you can do is just moan. It feels incredible. "All good?"
“Yeah.” Your voice feels a little different. Raspy. “You can move.”
Bucky lets out a deep breath before finally trying out a few slow thrusts. "How does it feel?"
“Good. Really good.” It’s like your vocabulary disappears when you two have sex. It’s hard to form sentences or express yourself.
"How about this?" He asks while moving much faster. It's something about this angle that gives him more room to use his strength.
“Jesus Christ!” You mumble. How can it feel this good?
"I don't think I can last as long as before." He groans as he watches you shiver under him. The way you sound like this, your position, the way you feel... He's on another planet.
“I don’t think you have to.” It’s unbelievable how close you are. It’s normally not that easy for you, but things are different when you are with him.
He keeps the same pace, focusing on your moans and the sound of your skin slapping. His mouth somehow manages to find your shoulder and he licks the same spot for a few seconds, making you shiver. "So sweet for me."
Even though you love how he is licking and talking into you ear, him leaning in changes the angle and the pace. It’s not as rough as it was before, and you find yourself moving your hips back, trying to get more friction.
"Look at that." He smiles against your shoulder, sounding fascinated. "Someone is unhappy with my services."
“Not unhappy.” You definitely aren’t. “It’s just… my hips don’t listen to me anymore.”
"Oh, no," Bucky comments amused before getting back to his initial position. "Your poor hips."
You know he isn’t mocking you for real but something about it irritates you. So you stop moving your hips. “Better?”
He lifts his eyebrow even though he knows you can't see him. "Hmm." You suddenly feel a slap on your ass. You make a sound that can only be described as a half moan half yelp.
"What was that?" Another spank follows. This time you’re moaning when the burning feeling spreads on your ass cheek completely. You feel the urge to move your hips again, but you refrain yourself.
"Look at you, bratty little cat. You're getting wetter because of this." He's so excited as he rubs your cheeks with both of his hands, but you can do this later. He's too close. You are, too. And just like that, he's back to fucking you. He doesn't go back to his gentle rhythm. Surprisingly, his thrusts are deep and fast.
“Oh my god!” The rhytm is finally the way you wanted it again. Instinctively, you lean in a bit more, and your head gets buried in the bed while your ass is a little higher than before.
"Jesus, doll." He cries out, feeling so overwhelmed. "I'm so close. So... so close."
Your hand moves to your clit, touching yourself just the way you like it, even though it feels so hard to do while he’s pounding you. That’s all you need to finally reach the climax. You're not quiet at all despite your failed attempt to muffle your moans with your pillow. And Bucky feels like that's it. He doesn't even manage to warn you that he’s following you and coming hard. He softly moans your name after he finishes, falling onto your back just to feel your skin.
His hands wrap around your body and you let yourself fall with him. The indescribable pleasure you felt is still running through your whole body.
"Wow!"
You laugh a little, trying to turn your head. You wanna see him, kiss him, and maybe tease him a little, but he's already prepping kisses all over your neck, then your back. 
“You are crushing me,” you say jokingly but it’s half true.
"Oh, sorry." He immediately gets off you, throwing himself on the bed completely.
“Don’t go that far away though.” You exaggerate a little, opening your arms. You want him as close as possible.
Bucky doesn't hesitate to use this as an opportunity to bury his head into your boobs. "Hmm, perfect. I’m in heaven with you and these babies." He kisses both of your breasts to emphasize what he means.
You can’t help but snort. “Babies?”
"Yes, my babies. My dolls."
“I thought they were mine.”
Bucky puffs before snuggling even more. "Only mine."
“And I have no say in this?” You joke again, and he shakes his head.  “Does it mean this…” You grab his dick gently. It’s soft and the condom is dangling. “...is mine?”
His whine is so loud, making you giggle. "Of course it's yours."
“Oh, I love this deal.” You use your thumb and index finger to take the condom off.
"Fuck." He closes his eyes.
“Sensitive?”
"A little."
“That’s okay.” You give him a little kiss on the head, then move a little so you can tie the condom up. That makes you see the hickey on his neck again, which is almost gone. You put the condom away and reach for the mirror you used before.
"What?"
“Remember the lovely hickey I gave you?” Bucky nods. “Wanna see it now?” You lift the mirror so he can take a look. He expected to see only a faded pink mark, but instead the skin is intact as if you never bit him. 
"How!?"
“That’s my question exactly.”
"What the fuck is going on?" His hand goes to the place your mark used to be and there's no trace of any teeth. "Holy cow."
“I think you are healing faster than any of us.” You stop for a second. “Like Steve.”
Bucky's eyes immediately find yours. "You don't mean..."
“I don’t know what I mean, to be honest, because I don’t know any details. Like… Did you participate in whatever they did to him? Or maybe it’s something transmittable, I don’t know.”
You see him going pale all of the sudden, and your heart drops. He seems to know what caused this.
"They must have done something to me when I was captured. But I didn't change like he did." He looks so confused, like he’s trying to put the puzzle pieces together. "I'm not like Steve."
“You were captured?!” That’s all you focus on. You have to know.
"I was." He sighs, placing the mirror on the floor before pulling you onto his lap. "By Hydra. Long story short, my unit and I were sent at some point at a weapon facility in Europe. In Austria... We were forced to work on an advanced bomber plane. I have no idea what happened to that, but I was so..." Bucky closes his eyes. "I was starving, losing weight every day. I was so weak I couldn't continue, so they did something else."
“Dear God.” You are completely shocked. “Are you okay?”
"I was basically a test subject for a crazy doctor. I thought they just tested different things for a death serum. But now I am not sure at all." He's so lost in his memories now. He is clearly not like Steve, but it's so weird how his health reports were fine. He shakes his head, not wanting to think about it any longer. "I'm more than well when I'm with you." He finally answers your question.
“I’m glad you are here with me.” You give him a full kiss, thinking about all the possibilities, everything that could’ve happened before you two had the chance to meet. You wouldn’t even know who he is and that somehow hurts more.
"You're so precious." He hugs you so tightly you feel like you're about to cry.
You try not the think about how he could’ve been still a captive. You can’t imagine how horrible that experience must be, but you don’t wanna cry. Not when he’s in your arms like this. 
“Wanna test out how super you are?” You suggests instead. A change of subject can help you both.
"Want me to cook for you? Going to prove to you I am marriage material after all." He smiles.
Your eyes widen with surprise. “Marriage?” That definitely wasn’t what you were expecting him to say.
"Don't mind me, doll. What did you have in mind?"
“No, no, no. You can’t say that and leave it at that.”
Bucky strokes your hair. "What else can I say? I'm embarrassing myself."
“Embarrassing yourself? Nope, you aren’t.” You shake your head. “You are giving me hope but don’t do it if you don’t mean it, okay?”
"Of course I mean it," he immediately says, not letting you doubt even for a second. "But I thought... it is a bit early. I didn't want to be overbearing."
“It’s not. I know we don’t know each other that well yet and we might change our minds later. I’m not taking this as a promise or anything.”
"Well," he raises your hand and brings it to his mouth just to place a soft kiss on it. "I would be lucky if you wanted me after all of this." You give him a confused look, and he clarifies: "This whole weird healing thing and my sad story." He snorts, belittling himself. You are not having any of this though.
“I think it’s…” You try to find the right words. “really hot, and I really wanna test your limits because I think your healing applies to your… recovery, too. Remember how quickly you got hard again?”
Bucky laughs. "So it's all about this, huh?"
“What? Don’t you wanna find out if I am right?”
"I don't have another condom, love." He sighs.
“I mean we did it without a condom before.” It’s the truth, but it feels so weird to ask for more after having great sex. You should be content with it, but no, your body craves more.
Bucky kisses your shoulder again. 
"I know, but we risked it. I don't want to make you take a risk. Even if I don't spill inside you..." You don’t like the fact that he’s right. What you don’t realize is that your face is showing what you are thinking. "I can use my tongue if you want." He smiles, trying to find another solution.
“The point is testing your limits, Sergeant.”
"My limits of my tongue count." He kisses you for a few seconds.
“You are so annoying, rejecting my offer, Sargaent.”
Bucky gasps. "I did not! I just tried to look out for you."
“It’s okay.” You make a move to get up. “Let’s get cleaned up.”
He grabs you by your wrist. "Don't do this to me." 
“I’m just listening to what you are saying.”
He frowns. "Then why do I feel like the bad guy?"
“Because you rejected this…” You show yourself. “A pretty girl’s offer for more sex.
"My pretty girl wants sex even without protection?"
“She does.” You purse your lips, feeling a bit vulnerable and trying to cover it.
"Then…" He pulls you closer and kisses you gently, holding your face with both of his hands.
“You love torturing me,” you say between kisses.
"Not as much as you do." 
"Wanna do the honors or should I?" He grabs his cock with a hand, waiting for you to move or just say something.
“Oh, be my guest. Do whatever you wanna do. Just pull out in time.”
"Promise." He kisses you before getting inside you in one swift motion.
*
There are no words to describe how tired you feel. Exhausted comes close, but it doesn’t cover the pleasure you are still feeling despite your jelly legs. You aren’t sure if you made the best or the worst decision of your life when you suggested testing his limits because you lost the count of the orgasms you had. You are ruined. Simply ruined by him. No man will ever compare.
"Did I pass?" Bucky asks breathlessly, holding you against his chest. “Am I husband material?"
You can’t believe he is still wondering that. This wasn’t meant to be a husband material test, but you gotta admit that he passed with flying colors. 
“You know we weren’t testing that, right?”
"Such a loss." He plays amused. "What did we test then?"
“How quickly your body can recover, and now we can safely say that you are not a regular guy.”
Bucky sighs. "Then what am I?"
“You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” You run your hand on his cheek, gently caressing it before giving him a big kiss. You wonder why he wants to be a regular guy. He’s perfect the way he is.
Bucky immediately melts under you. "That's not nice. You read my thoughts and use them against me," he explains more emotionally than before.
“Maybe we are just sharing the same thoughts and feelings.”
"We are a perfect match."
“It seems so.” You quickly agree. “And you are perfect the way you are. I get that you don’t know what exactly this is but it seems cool so far.” You try to put his mind at ease. “And no one knows about it. You don’t have to be like Steve, you can keep being yourself.”
"You're so sweet." He leaves a soft kiss on your hair.
“I’m not usually sweet. Maybe it’s the afterglow talking.” You joke to lighten the mood.
He snorts. "You're the sweetest person I've ever met."
“Now that’s a lie.” You keep the same tone.
"If that's a lie, I am a normal guy."
“That’s even a bigger lie. You are nowhere close to being a normal guy. Normal guys suck.”
Bucky's fingers travel to your belly. "Is that so?"
“No, no, no.” You try to avoid getting tickled. “Bucky, please.”
"Say you're the sweetest girl in the world, and I might show you some mercy."
“Fine, fine, fine.” You accept the defeat. “I’m the sweetest girl in the world. Okay?”
"I can't hear you." He tickles you harder. 
“BUCKY!” You protest, but he doesn’t stop. “I’M THE SWEETEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.”
"Good." He finally lets go, grabbing your face just to give you the sloppiest kiss you've ever shared. “Now close your eyes. You need to sleep."
You wanna be mad at him for tickling you hard, but you can’t.
“Oh, I gotta clean myself a little first.”
“Let me help you. Where do you keep your towels?" 
You already thought he was perfect, but he’s showing you he’s even better than you thought. How is he real? How did you get this lucky? You don’t know. 
“Just sit down, baby. I can handle those.”
"Let's make a deal: I change the sheets while you clean if you want." You wanna say no and you can handle those. but you are so tired. 
“Sounds like a good plan.” You can’t deny that it’s efficient, and you wanna see if he can do it right. This is the real marriage material test, but he won’t know until you see the results. You hand him the new sheets and leave him to work, so you can clean yourself pretty quickly. 
You really made a big mess. Cleaning takes longer than you expected, but when you come back, you find a freshly made bed.
"Ready for bed now?"
“Yeah.” You inspect the sheets. He made the bed perfectly. “Unbelievable.” You didn’t mean to say that out loud, but it came out anyway. “Perfectly made. I think I will have to marry you, Sergeant Barnes.”
He smiles widely. "So I passed my test?"
“Yep.” You move onto the bed. “If you can cook as well, I won’t ever let you go. Say goodbye to your bachelor days.”
Bucky pulls you to him. "Goodbye, bachelor days."
You laugh while kissing him.  
“Let’s sleep.” You snuggle closer while he yawns.
*
You have been awake for a couple of minutes, just trying to fully wake up and freely watch Bucky sleeping. He looks so pretty and innocent.
Long lashes, kissable lips, big arms. God, why does he have to be this pretty?
You lean in, with the intention to give him a kiss like a normal person, but god, those arms look so biteable. Before you can change your mind, you bite his arm and watch him slowly wake up. Then you start giving him small kisses: on his arm, on his cheeks, and finally when he opens his eyes, on his lips.
"Good morning." He gives you an innocent look. 
“Good morning, handsome.” You kiss his cheek again.
"Handsome?" His voice is so raspy in the morning.
“Yeah, handsome. Very very handsome.”
He smiles when you snuggle closer to him. "So sweet. I have a question. Do you have a toothbrush for me?" His eyes are semi-closed as he asks.
“Oh, sure. I can find one.”
"I didn't realize I will stay over. I'm sorry for wasting one of yours."
“Oh, shut up.” You push him a little playfully. “You can waste anything you want.”
You come closer to give him a kiss. You don’t care about the toothbrush or anything else. You are just enjoying being in bed with him.
"My breath smells really bad." He shakes his head, embarrassed. You shrug and give him a kiss anyway. You are sure your breath doesn’t smell good either, but that doesn’t stop you. "Such a stubborn lady."
“I just don’t care, and for your information, it doesn’t smell bad.” You keep kissing him.
"If you continue, doll, we might end up doing something else." 
“Hmm.” You act like you don’t know what that means.
“Hmm?”
“Yeah, hmm.”
"What can it mean?"
“No idea.” You don’t move away, you don’t kiss him. You just look at him.
"Okay then." He gives you an innocent look. "Time for me to go to the bathroom."
You kiss his cheek, giving him space to get up. He pouts a bit disappointed but doesn't say anything.
“What?”
"Nothing. So where do I find a toothbrush?" He finally gets up.
“I will show you.” You follow him to the bathroom.
"Also, do you have any allergies?”
His question catches you off guard. “Not that I know off. Why?”
"Gonna cook something for you."
“You really want that ring, don’t you?” You joke with a big smile on your face.
His laugh fills the bathroom. "You want to give me a ring?"
“How else am I gonna make sure others know you are taken?” 
"You don't need a ring for that. At all."
“Yeah, you are right. I was just joking.” 
He smiles. "Wait for me in the bed. Whatever happens, you stay there, okay?"
“Okay.” You raise your hands in defeat.
"Good girl, go now." He pats your ass before letting you go.
You can’t help but smile on your way back to the bed. If this is how being married to Bucky is gonna be, you are down for it.
*
"Come on, another bite. Please."
“Fine.” You take another bite. It’s delicious but you are full. So full. The breakfast he made was simply amazing. You might really need to find a ring to put on him, because he’s definitely husband material.
"Good girl, and drink more water."
“I’m so full,” you say after taking a sip. “The food was just amazing.”
"You're full, huh?" He snorts.
“I am.” You give him a look, not understanding what he means.
"I think you can take more."
“No more food, please.”
"Oh, sweetheart." Bucky gives you a smirk. "That is not what I meant."
“Oh!” You finally get it and start to giggle wile takes a bite of pancakes from your plate.
"Oh, indeed."
“You wanna?”
"Do you?" He stares back.
“You are so annoying.” 
"Annoying enough to get you to kiss me?"
You give him a short kiss. “Thanks for the breakfast.”
"I didn't have mine, though."
“You can eat this.” You offer your leftovers. You’re sure that they’re more than enough to make him feel full, too.
"But I don't want that.” He whines. "I want you."
“You can have me.”
"Want you on my face."
“Again?” You sound surprised. “I thought you would want something that you would enjoy as well.”
"Excuse you? I enjoy that." His tone shows that he’s totally offended.
“Oh, you do?”
Bucky laughs so loud. "I cannot believe it wasn't clear."
“I mean… I’m not used to that. Maybe that’s why.”
"The question is if you’d like to do that again."
“Oh, yeah.” You nod eagerly. “I would love that.”
"Then…" He places the food carefully on the table next to the bed.
You bite your lip while getting up and taking your underwear off. He watches you excited as he gets on his back completely, waiting. This time you know what to do. So you get back to the bed and straddle his face.
"Use me however you want, okay? Don't stop."
“Tap on my thighs if you want me to stop, okay?” He nods and you lower yourself completely. He doesn’t even wait for a few seconds. “Jesus, Bucky.” You breath out. It’s hard not to make a sound when he works that enthusiastically. He doesn't say anything in return, too focused on spreading your lips with his tongue. You moan loudly and start to ride his face, and you realize shortly he loves it as his hands help you quicken your pace just the way you like it.
“Oh, god…” You try to get support from the headboard. “This feels so good.”
He groans against you, so hard, thrusting his hips in the air because you taste amazing.
You start to move a little faster as you feel like you are getting closer to your release. His nose starts to bump up against your clit from time to time and that adds an another level of pleasure.
"Keep going," he says breathlessly before taking you by surprise and slapping your ass twice.
“Fuuck. I’m- I’m so close.”
"Hmm." He slaps your right ass cheek one more time as his tongue moves to your clit. The sounds you are making don’t sound human anymore. You are aware of it, but it’s so hard to care when you start to come so hard on his tongue. He doesn't let go or stop licking you until he feels you are done, then he gently helps you move.
"Hi."
“Ahh.” You struggle to find your voice. “Hi.”
He giggles while cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand. "Feel good?"
“God, I’m keeping you. That’s it. That was my last drop.”
Bucky moans excited. "Are you proposing to me, love?"
“Well, not like this, and I gotta buy a ring first,” you jokingly answer.
"Hmm." He brings you close to his face so he can kiss you. "Maybe I will accept."
“Maybe? What can I do to guarantee a yes?”
Bucky smiles. "Who knows?"
“Maybe I should return the favor.”
"No need for that."
“Wouldn’t that help though? I wanna increase my chances.” You continue with that same joking tone.
"A little. What is your plan?"
“Give you head and then propose I guess.”
He suddenly blushes. “I didn’t expect you to say it so openly but love to hear what you think."
“Then I will keep speaking like this.” You move your face to give him a kiss on the lips. “So… You want it or not?”
Bucky nods and dutifully stays on his back, opening his legs more. You carefully undress him and settle between his legs. He’s already half hard and he looks so pretty laying like that, waiting for your next move. You start slowly, just moving your hands up and down, letting him enjoy it.
You lean down and start leaving kisses to him all over his skin. "Ahh." You move onto his thighs, placing your hand  on his cock without moving it.
"Gonna torture me?"
“Is this your definition of torture?”
"I'm a man."
“And I am a woman who enjoys what she is doing.” You don’t give him a chance to respond. You run the tip of your tongue from the bottom to the top of his cock.
"Oh, God." He closes his eyes for a couple of minutes.
“Open your eyes if you want me to continue.”
"Sorry..." he groans, opening them.
“Look at me the whole time, okay? Watch what I am doing to you. Think about this moment whenever you feel like giving up.” Then you finally take him inside your mouth.
"Oh, Jesus." His hands immediately get into your hair. "N-no warning?" You shake your head while your mouth is full of him. "I don't think I could forget this even if I wanted to."
You hum around his cock before you start to properly bob your head. You try to look at him, memorizing his reactions and see what he likes the most.
"Use your tongue more around the head, please."
You do what he asks, twirling your tongue around the head and watching him fall apart.
"Baby," he hisses. "Just like that."
You wrap your hand around the base after taking your mouth off it. Your fingers work on him while you take one of his balls inside your mouth, gently sucking to see if he likes it or not. He's so close as he bites his bottom lip. 
"You're a dirty little girl.” You hum in response, your mouth being too full to be able to answer him. "Wanna paint your face." It feels like the words are just spilling from his mouth.
You finally let go of his ball.
“My face, huh?” You ask before taking him back in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the head once again.
"You're a dirty girl, and I have to a make you dirtier. Would you like that?"
You shake your head in agreement, then you start moving your mouth and hand at the same time, going up and down until he quickly pulls out when he feels he's coming. And just like that, your face and hair are getting covered. You close your eyes and for some reason stick your tongue out.
"God, baby. You drive me insane." He finishes coming and stares at the way you lick some of his come. You can only open one of your eyes as his come is dripping on the other one. Then you wipe it off from your eyelid and lick it clean. "And you will make me get hard again."
“We know that doesn’t take much.” You giggle, remembering last night.
"You're so pretty like this. I can't..." He smiles watching you clean yourself more.
“I am not sure about that.” You smile. “I should go and clean myself properly.”
"Should we take a bath?" He excitedly asks
“Oh, that sounds great.”
Bucky helps her get up. "Let's go."
*
"Look at this," he leans in to kiss your forehead, taking the cup from you. "Thank you."
“After last night and this morning, the coffee was needed. At least for me.”
"I am human too, you know? I need coffee."
“You are a super human.” You smile before taking a sip.
"I hope my tongue is a super tongue, too." He winks and takes a few sips from his coffee. "So good. Now, I have something and I forgot to give it to you since we were... busy."
“Oh?”
Bucky nods and brings his hand into his left pocket. "Like I promised." Then he takes out a small wrapped up package.
“What is this?” You take it and quickly open it without destroying the wrapping. “Oh my god, Bucky! You got me new stockings!”
“Wanna try them on?"
“Right now?” You are surprised by his request.
"Yep. If you want, of course."
“You just want me to get undressed in front of you again.” You joke while standing up. You don’t mind trying them at all.
"Don't act as if you don't."
“See you get undressed or get undressed myself?” You take the stockings out of the package while talking.
"Both.” He watches you as you put them on, fascinated. “How do they feel?"
“They feel really nice.” You move your leg a little, inspecting the stockings. “High quality. Where did you even find this?”
"Pulled some strings. Being a soldier has its perks, you know? Being friends with Captain America, too." 
“You did not!”
"What?" He laughs at your tone.
“You used your Captain America advantage to get me stockings?”
"Yep."
“Oh my god!” You have a huge smile on your face when you are walking toward him. And without a word, you sit on his lap, straddling him and wrapping your arms around his neck. “Thank you. These are much better than the ones you ripped off.” You give him a kiss on his right cheek. “So you get a kiss.”
"So generous." He kisses you properly.
“Such a gentleman.” You pause for a few seconds before adding. “With dirty tendencies.”
"Well, I got a dirty girlfriend."
“Please, I’m pretty innocent.” You move away from his lap. “We didn’t even meet up in my apartment because that would be inappropriate.” You finally snort. “At least that’s what my friends think.”
"And you call them friends?"
“Gotta keep my reputation intact.” You shrug. That’s the way it is. “Oh, speaking of friends! I gotta ask you something otherwise Cassie will kill me.”
"What?"
“She wanted me to ask about Steve. Apparently, she hasn’t heard from him.”
"Oh…" It's all that Bucky says.
“Oh?”
"I didn't know."
“She wants to know if he ever mentions her.”
He doesn't know how to answer for a couple of seconds. Steve has never been into romance. "He's very focused on the future plans against Hydra."
“Well, that’s not surprising. If he thought about her, he would find a way to contact her, I guess.”
"He doesn't think about pretty much anyone, I am sorry."
You shrug. “I hope she doesn’t shoot the messenger.”
"I am sorry. Steve is very... particular. About life and work. He wanted to be in the army for so long, he doesn't see anything else."
“That’s… sad.” You reach for the coffee mug. “What about you?”
"Obviously not interested in sex or romantic life." He jokes once again, hoping that it would change the mood.
“I meant about life and work,  but we can talk about that too,” you say with a smile.
"I don't like fighting, you know? It's never ending." Even his voice sounds tired as he talks about it.
“I sensed that you don’t enjoy fighting, but I think you are pretty good at it. At least it seems that way, and I feel like you aren’t focused on the fight, but mostly on what can come after when this is all done.”
Bucky sighs, approving what you said with a nod. There is something scary and confusing about what the future. If he survives. What will change? After so much death and loss, what will happen?
"I hate this so much."
You have this urge to hug him and tell him it’s gonna be fine. Yet you don’t know if that’s the truth and you don’t wanna lie. “I hate it, too. It’s like our lives are completely revolving around the war.“
"Yes, but let's not think about it, baby." He kisses your forehead.
“It’s easier not to think about it when you are around.”
"You help me with that, too."
“Oh, do I?” You smile. “What do you think about instead of war when you are with me?”
"I think only about you."
“Another thing we have in common.”
Bucky smiles. "You're so smooth."
“Smooth? I meant I am thinking about myself, too.” You stick your tongue out a bit cheekily.
"Nice try." He snorts, amused by your comment. "I totally understand why you'd think about yourself, though."
“Why would I think about myself?” You wanna know what he’s thinking.
"You're funny, amazing, beautiful, smart." He kisses your cheeks. "You got everything."
“And what about you?”
"What about me?" He asks confused.
“What do you have?”
"Strings to buy you more stockings."
“Oh!” You both start to laugh. “That’s not all, though.”
"Right, I also got Captain America as my friend."
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
Bucky sighs. "I don't have much to offer unfortunately. I have 4 siblings."
“Jesus, do you really not know?”
"If you mean sexually..."
“Not only that. Stop underestimating yourself, you have a lot to offer. Look at me.” He lifts his head as you asked. “I love spending time with you. It doesn’t matter what we are talking about, it’s always interesting. You are smart, funny, thoughtful and so so pretty.”
Bucky melts under your eyes. "No one called me pretty before."
“You are so pretty, you have no idea. These eyes…” You touch the corner of his eyelid. “These lines,” You caress the smile lines. “These lips…”
He blushes instantly feeling your touch and brings your hand closer to his lips in order to kiss it. "You're so sweet."
*
After spending a little bit more time in your apartment, you and Bucky decide to go for a walk. He’s here for a limited amount of time and he should make the most of it. Maybe you can stop by a book or a record store together, eat something he craves and enjoy this sunny day to the fullest. You don't even realize how close you are until you feel his hand touching yours, subtly trying to hold it.
You feel butterflies in your stomach. You did a lot of stuff together so far, but you haven’t held hands yet. Not publicly. Not like this. You open your hand, just showing you want him to hold it, and he does proudly. 
"Do you want some ice cream, sweetheart?"
You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. It’s so hard to fight the urge to smile. This might be the best day of your life. The sun is shining, Bucky is by your side, holding your hand. You don’t think life gets better than this. 
“I would love that.” He smiles before leaning in to kiss your head. Suddenly, you feel the urge to say what you have been thinking. He should know.
“You know that I will wait for you if you want, right?” You can’t help it. All the marriage and proposal jokes aside, you really want him in your life.
Bucky stops walking suddenly. "Doll..." He sighs, still holding your hand. "I don't want to make you go through this."
“You think I won’t go through it if we act like this means nothing, but you are wrong.” 
"I did not say that! This is not nothing, but I can't be engaged to you and leave you behind like this."
“Who said anything about being engaged?”
"We talked about getting married a lot. So I thought..."
“I didn’t say I don’t want to. I just meant that we don’t have to get engaged if that’s your concern.” 
"I don't know. Either way I can't let you go through that." He shakes his head. The last thing he wants is for her to wait for him not knowing if he will survive. "Because if I die..." 
“If you die… I would be devastated regardless. It doesn’t matter even if we decide not to see each other anymore.”
He doesn't say anything else, instead, he pulls you to him in the tightest hug you've ever felt.
"I don't want to lose you."
“Believe me, I don’t wanna lose you, either.” You wrap your hands around his body, burying your face into his chest. “My kidnapping offer still stands.”
You hear him snort. "You're just making up excuses to have me tied up."
“Do I need to?”
"No." He breaks the hug and reaches out for your hand again. "My future wife doesn't need excuses. You're stuck with me."
“And you are stuck with me.”
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kookslastbutton · 1 year
Text
Sidelines ༓ myg (m)
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✑ Summary: Best friends since university, Yoongi has always been the first one rushing to your side. But when you fall into his arms after, yet again, another heartbreak, Yoongi reaches his breaking point.
Pairing: best friend!yoongi x fem!reader
AU/genre: angst, smut, fluff, friends2lovers, oneshot
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 3.6k+
Warnings: cursing, impulsive confession, sexual content, also reader's true feelings are left a bit open ended
Sexual warnings: dom!Yoongi, slight brat!sub!reader, unprotected sex (don't follow thier lead!), begging, spanking, penetration, f*ngering, cunn*lingus, t*t play, dirty talk, teasing, pet names (princess), slight degradation (b*tch)
Now playing: Love The Way You Lie, Infinity, Escapism+
A/N: Had this idea for a while so when I tell you I sprinted through this oneshot, I SPRINTED. It may be a bit melodramatic and short. Enjoy! 💞
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Yoongi stares at his phone–waiting.
Waiting for your name to pop on the screen.
Waiting for your shaky voice to ring through the phone, asking to come over.
Waiting for you to throw yourself into him in desperation to be held.
It should happen anytime now. Why haven’t you called yet? He’s thinking about making the first move but no. That would look too suspicious.
"Dude, you gotta tell her.” Namjoon looks at his friend with deep compassion. He’s known Yoongi since college. Knows the type of heart he carries in his chest. It’s beautifully devoted, warm, and open. But this time…this time it’s too much.
"It's not my place Joon,” Yoongi rasps. “I made a promise.
Yoongi thinks back to the day he met you. It was a cool autumn morning and you were poking around every brick building, nearly walking in circles. It was clear you were searching for something. Turns out it was the dining hall, which was no easy task to find with the campus being the size it was. You were a transfer student and being a recent transfer himself, Yoongi gladly walked you over. That became the first of many memories you’d share together.
Late study nights where you’d fall asleep on his shoulder. Stealing his sweatshirt with a devious yet playful smile. Always having not one pack of gum, but three in your bag. You loved gum for some odd reason. By senior year, Yoongi missed those days most and he wanted more than anything to tell you that a peice of himself was with you. How could he tell you though when you had begun spending every night with the captain of the hockey team? No, he wasn’t going to get in the way.
But he really should have. Heartbreak number one came when you found out your lovely hockey boyfriend had his tongue down some chick’s throat at a frat party. You’re kicking yourself for ever bawling your eyes over that jerk. Perhaps more pressing however is that Yoongi knew your boyfriend wasn’t a great guy. He even tried dropping hints that you ought to be careful with him but you didn’t listen. Despite everything, Yoongi was still the first to show up beside you that day. You won’t forget it.
Now four years out of university, you have a new man of the year who is, for the first time, genuine. Or at least that’s what you think. Yoongi knows otherwise. Just the other day he overheard said boyfriend planning to break up with you. When Yoongi stepped out to confront him, your boyfriend begged that he be the one to tell you. Yoongi promised he wouldn’t say anything which is what brings him to this very moment now.
"You can't keep doing this,” Namjoon urges. “Being her saving grace, her constant shoulder to cry on. It's not fair especially when–”
"She's my friend. I'd do it for you too."
“Bullshit. You’re still in love with her and she doesn’t even think twice about it. She still thinks of you as her older brother.”
“So let her think of me that way. A friend, an older brother…I can't turn my back on her after all this time. I won't."
“All I’m suggesting are boundaries Yoon. Or better yet, tell her how you feel. You're not turning your back on her by being honest. I see how much it pains you to see her running around with no-good losers every year or two when you’re always right next to her.”
The truth in Namjoon’s words stings, pricks like thorns. Yoongi wishes they didn’t but the tensing of his muscles and the heat steadily climbing the back of his neck were clear signs that he couldn't repulse them.
“It’s too late for–__!”
Yoongi's eyes instantly gravitate to his cell vibrating against the coffee table. He snatches it in seconds, bringing it to his ear.
“Yoongi! I–he….Yoongi he ended it with me," you say, voice cracking. Though not in front of him, Yoongi could see the tears trickling down your cheeks. He could feel the sunkenness deep in your heart. He shared this pain with you many times before and it burned stronger each time. "I'm shocked. I didn’t think…I’m sorry I’m having trouble thinking and–and speaking. Yoongi, please, please can I come over? Or can you come here? I know it's late but I just really need to be with someone right now.”
Yoongi turns his gaze to Namjoon who mouths the words 'don't' but he can't bring himself to agree. It goes against his nature and his devotion to you. Maybe his friend is right and you'll only ever see him platonically. One thing's for sure though–he can't lose you.
"I'll be there as soon as I can. Stay there." Yoongi grabs his keys off the kitchen counter and bolts out the door.
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"That jerk!" You splash cold water on your face, hoping it will clear your mascara-smudged face. Yoongi was about to come over and you looked like an absolute wreck. He couldn't see you like this again.
Quickly, you rush to your dresser and pull out a less wrinkled t-shirt and lounge pants. You head downstairs next to tidy up the space. You may or may not have had a tiny outrage after your boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, told you he was leaving you. Yoongi couldn't see that either.
While cleaning your eyes prick with tears again. It hadn't registered to you now but there were reminders of your ex everywhere. Little gifts he'd given you. Pictures of the two of you on random excursions. How could he do this to you? You harden your face and stomp to the kitchen, searching for something big and black.
You start tossing everything in the garbage bag. Pictures, cards, trinkets, stuffed animals–it all went. And it felt good. It dried your tears. As you make your way around the room, you're suddenly stopped in your purge. A small smile breaks on your face when you see the gift Yoongi got you for graduation. It was a double picture frame with a vibrant orange leaf sealed inside. One photo was of you and Yoongi the first year you'd met. The other was the two of you on graduation day. Yoongi put this together to commemorate your friendship. He's still your day one, you sigh. Four years and he's still here to help you pick up the pieces.
"___!"
Thumpthumpthump
"It's me, open the door," Yoongi gruffs from the hallway. You drop the garbage bag and immediately stride over. You pat yourself down before letting him in.
"Yoongi, hi."
Yoongi takes your invitation and paces inside. "Bit of spring cleaning __?" Of course the garbage bag is the first thing he sees. You fiddle with your hands unsure what to say. "I'm sorry ___. He didn't deserve you."
You bury your face in his shoulder, biting back the growing temptation to cry. Yoongi brings you into a closer embrace. His arms hold firmly around your own shoulders. "Thank you for coming. I know it's late so I understand if you can't stay long."
"I'm here as long as you need." Yoongi pauses, recalling your brief conversation earlier on the phone. "You know you can cry around me ___."
"I'm f–"
"Fine?" Yoongi loosens his grip to look at you. "The clothes, the dried tears, the giant garbage bag in the living room? Needing someone to be here because you don't want to be alone tonight. What part is fine? Because I'm not. Neither are you." His thumb gently strokes your shoulders, soothing your tensed muscles. "So if you need to cry, yell, whatever. Do it."
Wetness caresses your cheeks again and this time you don't wipe them away. "Why does this keep happening?" Your voice cracks as you peer into your best friend's eyes. "They never love me. No one ever does."
His dark eyes soften and you nearly see them glass over through your own tear-filled eyes. You search Yoongi's face for a response but all Yoongi can hear is the echo of Namjoon's words – "All I’m suggesting are boundaries Yoon. Or better yet, tell her how you feel. You're not turning your back on her by being honest. I see how much it pains you to see her running around with no-good losers every year or two when you’re always right next to her".
Yoongi is silent for a moment, mauling over what his friend said. You see him hesitating for the first time in a while. "So–so why do you choose them?" He chokes.
You're a little stunned. This isn't how this usually goes. If you didn't know any better you'd think there was an accusatory tone in your best friend's question. It's unnatural and you're slow to reply.
"Because..."
Yoongi stands still, concentrated on you.
"I don't know. Because they seem kind? And I want to give them a chance."
That's it? Yoongi isn't sure he's hearing you right. Surely there would be more to it. He expected so. Before he's able to retract the words they're already out. "Then what am I? I've never had a chance."
Reflexively, you push away from him. No. No this isn't happening. You must have misheard. "What do you mean?"
"From someone, I mean. No one ever given me the chance to be with them like that so you're very...uh very open." Lies. You're lying again, Yoongi thinks. But look how she broke away from you?
"Oh, I thought you meant...."
You know what? Screw it. Namjoon's right–"You're not turning your back on her by being honest".
"I did." He clenches his fists. "I meant it exactly how you interpret it. I–I love you. And if it isn't love it's damn close."
Your heart drops, mind scatters in twisted directions. You've heard of friends growing feelings for each other before but you never thought–why now? After four years of being next to each other and going out with all those guys. Why didn't he say anything? And when did it happen? Did he always feel this way? Oh my god.
"Sorry, I panicked," Yoongi continues. "But those guys you go out with? They don't care about you like I do. Every time they hurt you it makes me want to scream 'I'm here if you see us as anything more'. But I'm terrified to lose you ___. That's why I kept it to myself."
"Yoongi I–I don't know if..." You stop seeing his heavy eyes. You don't want to break his heart but you can't tell what you're feeling. You never took the time to think of him in these terms. But one thing was for sure. You walk up to Yoongi and take hold of his hand. "You'll never lose me. Do you hear me? You're my best friend and I could never let you go."
"But did you hear me?" Yoongi squeezes your hand. "I love you ___. I don't expect it to be reciprocated so...."
"We can try." Without thinking you close the distance between your best friend. You move to press a soft kiss to his lips but Yoongi lunges backwards.
"Please don't," he says. "You don't need to force yourself ___. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't supposed to be about me tonight, I'm sorry."
"Don't say that. This is about us now, our friendship. I'm glad you told me and to be honest, I'm not saying no. I'm saying we can try."
Yoongi sighs and leans on the back of your couch, arms crossed and eyes downward. "You just got out of a relationship ___."
"Yeah so? We were only together for a few months. I don't even think I loved him."
"But you could have with more time."
You join Yoongi next to the couch. "I mean sure maybe if he didn't break up with me."
"___. Don't you see?" Yoongi turns his face towards yours. "We've had four years together. I don't want you to try to love me, I want you to love me naturally. Like I do. And if, after four years you don't then I don't want to put that kind of pressure on you."
"You're not pressuring me to do anything. You've always been there for me through everything and i care very deeply for you. Maybe I haven't thought of you as more than a friend because I didn't let myself to. Maybe I was too caught up in everyone else that I just..." You pause, setting a hand on his shoulder.
"What if we try and nothing changes? Or something happens and we break each other," Yoongi interrupts. "We'll never recover."
"Do you have that little faith in us?" You place a hand on his other shoulder, turning his whole body around. "Because I don't. Perhaps you're right that something might happen that makes things complicated. But I know we won't let it get out of hand. In fact, something beautiful might come out of this. Don't you want to find out?"
He does. Of course, he does. But was this how you really felt? "You were really upset earlier," he says. "I don't want to cloud your judgment, especially after what happened."
You lean into him closer, lips hovering over his. "I don't care about that anymore. All I care about is my best friend and I really, really want to give this a chance."
Yoongi searches for any hesitation. It's hard to do when you're mere inches from him. He's tempted to lean forward and close the distance completely– to say yes. So you do it for him.
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You weave your hands through Yoongi's silky dark hair and press a firm kiss to his lips. He's disoriented at first but like a tidal wave, everything he's been holding back rushes out as he moves harder against you. You feel his hands travel down to the small of your back and snake around your waist. A tongue finds its way inside your mouth next. It dances with yours in a fiery passion. Your body burns up with every touch, every kiss. It's a foreign feeling but you welcome it.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Yoongi murmurs.
You give a faint smile and take his hand. "There's no one I'd rather do this with." You guide him down the hall and into your bedroom. Yoongi pulls you into another kiss, this time resting a pair of cool hands underneath the fabric of your t-shirt. You moan softly into the kiss and pull the t-shirt over your head.
"I'd tell you that you look beautiful but you already know that." Yoongi traces up your sides and along the band of your bra. It tickles for a moment but then you remember who you're with, where you are, and what you're doing.
"Not so fast," you pull back from his grasp and eye his covered chest. Yoongi picks up on your signal and rids himself of his shirt, revealing his smooth, tan torso. You've seen him shirtless before but when did he get so muscular?
With lust-blown eyes, you're pushed on your back next, sinking into your mattress. Yoongi hovers above you. A light peck is placed on your collarbone before moving to the valley between your neck and shoulder.
"Yoongi."
"Mm?"
"How long have you loved me?" Yoongi open-mouth kisses the ridge of your neck. You close your eyes, anticipating his response. "When did you know?"
"Last year of university when you started going out with that jackass on the hockey team." Yoongi lifts his head from your neck and looks at you. "What did you ever see in him? I thought you said you give the kind ones chances, not asses like him."
You nibble on your bottom lip and wrap your arms around his neck playfully. "Oh no, him? He was just hot. I wasn't really thinking very much when we got involved...if you know what I mean?" You raise an eyebrow but yelp when Yoongi digs his hands behind you to unhook your bra. He snaps the lacy fabric off the rest of your body and throws it on the ground.
"Yeah?" Yoongi gruffs. Well, who's little bitch are now? Answer me." He gives your left nipple a tug. You feel a wetness gather between your legs but it wasn't from the stimulation of your nipple. It was his tone, his demeanor. Yoongi never talked like this and it made all the hairs on your body stand.
"Are you–jealous?"
"Wrong answer princess." Yoongi pinches your nipple again. "I'll ask you again, who's bitch are you?"
"No ones." You flip the man over and straddle his waist. "Who's bitch are you?"
Yoongi growls and gives you a hard slap on your ass. When you let out a moan, the man underneath goes feral–riveting with desire. You're thrown on your back again with legs spread apart. Yoongi waits for your nod before yanking your pants off, along with your panties. He does the same to himself, cock hardening in your view. Fuck, you curse to yourself. You had no idea what he was packing until now.
Yoongi settles between your thighs and stares you dead straight in the eye. "We're gonna have a little competition princess. I'm gonna eat you out and if you finish without begging to have my cock then I'll be your bitch. Deal?"
You swallow hard and nod. Who knew your best friend was this nasty. "Deal," you reply, widening your legs. Yoongi smirks and runs a cool finger along your slit. You feel the pit of your core tighten upon contact but keep a straight face. "I thought you were eating me–fuck!"
Yoongi pushes in, breaching your walls as far as he could with his finger. He adds a second in after two pumps, focusing on your reaction. "There's something you should know ___." He begins circling his thumb on your clit, causing your head to throw back in the process. "I don't like brats. So if this was any other time, I'd probably already be fucking your tight, wet pussy. But it's our first time together." Yoongi retracts his fingers instantly, soaked with your cum. "I'll go easy on you."
"Shit." You claw at the sheets. Yoongi licks a long stripe up your folds, dipping between ever so often just to see your hips jolt. His hands dig into your inner thighs, driving your senses wild. "Ah! Yoongi!"
"Need to come princess?"
You struggle to reply, bringing a hand up to latch on his hair. "I–ah–I'm not even close-close yet!"
Hearing your response, Yoongi thrusts his fingers back in, creating a steady rhythm with his tongue. "Fuckfuckfuck!" you curse, knot twisting inside you. You feel Yoongi smirk that same cocky smirk from earlier as he continues eating you out. "Yoongi, I'm close now!"
"Are you? Beg for my cock and I'll let you come."
What the actual fuck? "You're such-ah-a cheater! Well I'm not gonna–fuck! Please, please I need to come."
No response.
"Okay...okayokay. Please, Yoongi, can I have your cock?" You immediately come, tightening your hold on his hair. "Oh my god Yoongi, you're so evil fuck!" You give him a slap on the chest once you release. Yoongi grins down at you and catches your wrist.
"Who's bitch are you?" Slowly, he crawls further up your body, pinning your arm above your head. He grabs your other arm and places it on top of the other. "Are you really not gonna say it?"
"Yours. I'm yours, Yoongi."
"Damn straight you are. Now keep them there." He squeezes your wrists together before placing his hands on either side of your head. He bends down and gives you a passionate kiss. "You really are beautiful ___. Are you still sure you wanna do this?"
"Please."
Yoongi caresses your check, aligns himself with your entrance, and pushes in. Your mouth falls wide, but nothing comes out for a moment. Once you adjust, you give a slight nod.
"Fuck." Yoongi moves inside you, penetrating through your velvety walls. Your eyes roll upwards as his close shut. "Oh god, Yoongi–faster please," you breathe.
Yoongi pushes deeper in you, his length pulling in and out of your hole at a rhythmic pace. Beads of sweat form along his forehead and your around your neck. You let out a loud moan once feeling the cord within you wind up again. Yoongi soon feels it too, quickening his speed.
"I can't believe we're doing this-ah shit!"
Your hands, struggling to stay down, jolt with every thrust. You look deep into Yoongi's eyes, his staring straight back into yours. You're both grinning too, like idiots really. "Me neither. But I'm glad we are."
Yoongi kisses you again. It's sloppier than before but you couldn't care less. "You're gonna come soon mm? Because I know I am. This pussy is so tight-fuck-it's basically swallowing my cock. Brat like you love this shit don't you?"
You laugh and rustle through his hair but your arm is pinned back down. Yoongi starts moving inside you as fast and hard as he can, breasts bouncing against his muscular chest. He so close and so are you. "Asked you a question princess."
Your back arches as he fucks into you. "Yes-yes we do! Fuck, I'm gonna come. If it doesn't happen now it'll–"
"Come for me __." Yoongi pushes himself into you one last time before both of you finish, gasping for breath. You feel his length pull out of you shortly after.
Side by side now, hot and sweaty, Yoongi looks at you. "What the fuck did we just do?"
You grin and leap on part of his chest. "We're giving us a chance."
"By starting with sex?" Yoongi throws an arm around you. "Let's do this properly and go on a date tomorrow."
You giggle and bury your head in his shoulder. Goof. Maybe, this does have a real chance of working out. "Okay," you whisper.
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A/N: Thanks for stopping by! As always, lmk your thoughts. See ya! 💞
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