#HE IS MY PRECIOUS SON AND BESTEST FRIEND

[powerofelvis]

Christmas Wrapping

Pairing: Elvis Presley x f!reader

Word Count: 2.2K

Warning(s): 50’s!Elvis, SMUT, oral (f. receiving, m. receiving), unprotected sex, christmas fluff

A/N: It’s Day 4 of Daisy’s 12 Days of Christmas! I know I said that this would be my second one yesterday, but you guys loved ‘Merry Christmas, Baby’ more than I thought. Thank you! This is a request that was requested from my bestest girl, @lindszeppelin! I hope you like it, Sugar Pie 💕

You were excited and for very good reason. It was your very first Christmas with Elvis. You have been with him for a little over a year, getting together towards the tail end of high school. You had always had a little crush on the boy who would walk the halls with a guitar in his hands, sometimes getting badgered by your friends for liking the school’s outcast. You didn’t mind it though, he was cute. Not to mention, he was a real hit with your parents. They adored him, overlooking the rumors that were around town that he was corrupting the youth because of his music and his movements. 

You had spoken to your parents before the holiday season, gaining their permission to spend the evening with him and his family but only after you spent the morning with them. The thought of being around him and the people who made him happy gave you enough reason to celebrate. That morning, you spent with your parents and siblings, opening your gifts and having your annual christmas breakfast. It wasn’t long that you were bouncing towards your room to get ready for the day. Elvis would swing by in his new car that he bought for himself later. 

He was proud of it. Spending hours talking to you on the phone about how he would take care of his family and you for as long as the Lord allowed him to. Elvis had arrived at your house a bit later, coming inside to greet your family as he always did when he came to pick you up. “There’s my girl! I missed you so much, it’s been drivin’ me up the wall.” He scooped you up in his arms, spinning you around like one of those couples who were seeing each other for the first time in forever. He had just returned for a while, busy with gigs all over the South. His manager was trying to get his name out, giving him opportunities that he used to only talk to you about. 

After chatting with your family for a while, giving them the presents that he brought, he pulled you out of your house and you were heading to his house, not wanting to keep his family waiting. During the short ride to his place, you would chat with him about the things that he saw and did while he was away, clearly happy that he was finally able to chase after his dreams—with you right by his side. You both arrived at his house soon after, he hurriedly ushering you inside before running off to tell his parents that you were there. 

His mother, Gladys, walked into the foyer before pulling you into a hug. Gladys was like another mother to you in the short time that you were in a relationship with Elvis. While he was gone, you would still go over to their house to help her keep her mind off of missing her only son. “My precious girl. Merry Christmas! I’m so glad that you are here to celebrate with us!” She wore the same smile that she always had when you were around, which always melted your heart. “Merry Christmas to you as well, Mrs Presley. It’s always nice to see you.” 

Gladys hummed happily before turning to Elvis to push him towards the tree that sat in their living room, silently telling him that it was time to finish opening the presents. “I’ve got some stuff for you under the tree. Bewbie, show Y/N.” Elvis smiled at his two girls, taking you by the hand before leading you over to their beautiful tree. You sat down on the couch near the tree, opening presents that Gladys had for you. She had given you a little necklace and Vernon bought you a nice dress. You gave them their presents, feeling the love that they had for you as the day went on. 

“I have a present for you, but I won’t give it to you until later.” Elvis whispered in your ear after you finished distributing your gifts with everyone. You nodded your head, shivering with excitement as you didn’t miss the look in his eyes as he spoke. Dinner came and went and everyone was now sitting around the tree, listening to Elvis sing while he played on his guitar. Elvis put down his guitar after an hour of performing, looking over at you with a sly smile. “Ready for your gift?” You nodded excitedly, following him to his room where he said he had it. 

The box was nicely wrapped, tied together with Christmas ribbons. You sat down on the bed, ripping the wrapper off of the box, revealing a red laced lingerie set that was paired with a garter set. You gasped, looking back at Elvis who wore a look of excitement as you ran your fingers over the material. “It’s beautiful, honey! I love it.” Elvis sat beside you, wrapping his arms around you before pressing his lips to your ear. “Would ya wear it tonight for me, doll?” His voice had taken a dangerously low tone, the undertone of lust was prevalent. 

“I don’t see why not, baby. I’m not going home tonight.” You shivered, eyes still looking over the present. Elvis jumped up abruptly, leaving you alone in the room—probably telling his family that he was turning in for the night and not to wait up. You took the cue and went into the bathroom, putting the lingerie on and fixing your hair so that you could surprise him when he came back. You slid the red garter over your leg, snapping it into place with the belt after you ensured that the set was put on correctly. The way that the set hugged your body made you feel something that you never felt before, the excitement being a bit overwhelming. 

You and Elvis had sex before, him being the person who took your virginity, so you weren’t afraid of sleeping with him. However, it was a completely different feel to be intimate while wearing something as racy like this red laced lingerie set that Elvis specifically picked out for you. You shakingly took a breath, walking out of the bathroom as you were seemingly overcome with confidence. Elvis had returned to the room, sitting on the bed where he was twiddling his thumbs as he waited for your arrival. When Elvis saw you, he nearly fell off of the bed with how fast he stood up and walked over to you. 

“I had imagined how beautiful you would look in this, but you have really put it into perspective that you look damn good in anything, even naked.” He whispered under his breath. Your body shivered at his words, the tension becoming so unbearable that you were rubbing your thighs together to create some sort of friction. Elvis noticed and decided to not leave you hanging for much longer, his hands caressing your body as his lips pressed against yours in a heated kiss. You moaned softly, hands moving up his chest before resting on his shoulders. 

His fingers moved lower to your garter belt, snapping it against your skin as he moved you back towards the bed. “I like this on you, but it’ll look damned good on the floor, baby.” He hummed, reaching behind you to undo the laced bra that held your breasts in place. His lips moved from yours before he took hold of your breasts, licking and nipping at them. Your back arched in nothing but air as the feeling of your nipples being licked and sucked aroused you. Elvis could tell, your nipples were beginning to stand at attention so he used one of his hands to rub circles around the hardened nipple, seemingly wanting you to get off from him playing with your tits. 

Your thighs continued rubbing together, the heat in between your legs was now sending fire throughout your entire body. He laid you back in the bed, lifting your hips before he smoothly pulled your panties off of your hips like he was unwrapping you as his gift. The wet spot was very apparent, causing Elvis to groan in pleasure as he could see how shiny your pussy was. He licked his lips as he got on his knees, now abandoning your nipples to their own devices. He spreads your legs, humming happily as he immediately licks a stripe up your pussy. 

“It’s like your pussy gets sweeter each time I taste it.” He speaks before licking another stripe up your pussy, your back arching off of the bed. He chuckled darkly, sliding two of his ring covered fingers inside of you, immediately bottoming out. The feeling was something that you had never felt before, your walls constricting around his digits. He was licking and sucking at your pussy now, the slurping noises that he was making was enough to push you over the edge. “Go ahead baby, let go for me.” He whispered before continuing to eat you as if he wasn’t already full from his mother’s christmas dinner. 

Your orgasm crashed over you immediately, moans and whimpers passing your lips as he ate all that you gave him. He pulled away from you, lapping up the slick that was on his lips. You shivered as you watched him undress, his black slacks and blazer falling to the floor as he hurriedly made his way over to you. You sat up on your knees on the bed, taking his hardened length in your hand as you placed little kisses to him, the foreskin sitting prettily on his cock. Elvis hissed, the sensitivity that he was feeling from your mouth covered his entire body. You wrapped your mouth around his cock, taking as much of him as you could. 

He was long—the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, so you settled for groping his heavy balls in your hands as you struggled to take him in. Elvis moved his fingers through your hair, his head thrown back as the moans that passed his lips were almost pornographic. You watched him through your eyelashes as you continued on, the sheen on his body glistened under the lights in his room. His knees were wobbling as he struggled to stand, but you were determined to give him the same pleasure that he gave you. However, Elvis had a different idea. 

“Baby, I ain’t gonna be able to make it if you keep on this way. I need—need to be inside of you, darlin’.” You pulled off his cock, a string of saliva broke apart as you wiped your mouth. “Give me all you got, big boy.” You got off of your knees, laying back on the bed as you watched your boyfriend crawl into the bed and over you. He wiped the remaining of your saliva off of your lips before pressing a sweet kiss to them. “Fuck, you’re such a naughty girl. I should’ve gotten you a lump of coal instead.” He grabbed a hold of his cock, rubbing the skin between your folds. 

As Elvis pushed inside of you, your toes dug into the bed as you tensed up at the intrusion. Elvis didn’t move at first, knowing that this was still new to you. His lips kissed the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes, groaning softly as he could feel your pussy constricting around him until you stretched a bit for him. “There we go, baby. You’re stretched open for me, aren’t ya?” He whispered in your ear, his hips moving painfully slow as he pushed in and out of you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, fingers pressed at the nape of his neck as your eyes never left his. 

Elvis started to speed up with each thrust, the sweat dripping off of his floppy black locks. “I should’ve bought this earlier, you looked so damn gorgeous baby. I’m gonna have to make you wear it again, rip it off your body next time.” He groaned out as his cock hit your spot repeatedly. “I love you, baby. I love you.” He whispered, lacing his fingers with yours as the overstimulation was becoming too much to endure. “I- Elvis!” You screeched out as your orgasm crashed over you once more.

“That’s it, mama. Cum again for me. Fuck, you feel so good.” He grunted as he fucked you through your orgasm while chasing his own. He stuttered before pulling out of you, coating your stomach and pelvis with his sticky seed. He groaned as he finished, leaning down to kiss you once more. “If this is how the holidays will be, I’ll have to buy you more lingerie.” He chuckled before getting off of the bed, grabbing some tissues from his bedside table. He cleaned you off, whispering sweet nothings in your ear before he climbed back into the bed, wrapping his arms around you. 

As you both dozed off after talking about plans for the new year, you couldn’t help but get excited all over again. How lucky you were to be loved by a man as good as Elvis Presley, you would never know. All you knew was that this Christmas was the best that you had ever had. 

#elvis presley #elvis 2022 #elvis presley x reader #elvis x reader #daisy’s 12 days of christmas requests #daisy writes

[cartooncadet666]

A friend at school gave me a theory on why Specter is still seen in the Nether Realm even if Betrayus didn't want him to come back. And... in the Suicidal AU and the Fate AU, I decided to make Specter an old friend of Betrayus, which could lead with the 'second chance' theory.

So here's an excerpt of the 'backstory': Specter and Betrayus actually went to Maze High when they were teenagers. Betrayus just so happened to get bullied at the time, even if he didn't really care, and Specter decided to defend him. The suave ghost we know was known as the son of a powerful and rich malewife/girlboss couple, so he intimidated the bullies fast. Specter was one of the first friends Betrayus ever had, and Betrayus was Specter's first crush in a long time.

In the Nether Region, which wasn't a firey hellhole in modern time but instead a freezing forest like atmosphere, there was the original ghost gang (me and my friends' ghost-sonas) Usa, Rice, and Jex, they made a whole friend group together, but when Betrayus turned away, they would either threaten Specter if he ever hurt the white Pac-Worlder to kill him (mostly Usa) or tease him about the feelings he has for him. (mostly Rice)

Around the time Aurora disappeared, and when Dr. Buttocks went missing, Betrayus stopped talking to him for a while, and it kind of stopped their relationship. However, one day, someone- no one knows who they are- threatened Specter to murder a few targets or they would put his friends on the line, so he did it with the help of Earthquake and Hawk, what he didn't know was while he was trying to protect them and Betrayus, those two worked with that same person, and they wanted Betrayus dead, in return, they would've got the money they needed along with Specter's entire will. Here's a little drama:

"How could you..?" Specter had tears in his eyes.

"Sorry man, we needed that money... It was either you guys or us. " Hawk only sighed, the bloody knife still in hand.

"HOW F*CKING COULD YOU?! I SAVED YOU FROM THAT ALCOHOLIC MANIAC AND THIS-" He hissed from the pain. "THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! I TRUSTED YOU TWO!"

"WELL THEN YOU MADE THE WRONG CHOICE! You weren't going to help me or Hawk either way Boltz. " Earthquake sent venom when she said his last name. "You just did this so your precious blank face would never see hell."

"I wanted you to be safe as well..." Tears finally falling down his face.

"Just finish him off Hawk, we don't need any more obstacles." Earthquake said in a cold, emotionless manner.

"Earthy, he's still-"

"FINISH HIM OFF! I DON'T CARE WHO HE WAS! JUST KILL HIM!" She screeched.

"... Hawk... You don't have to do it... Think about high school..." Specter protested.

"Shut up Boltz. Hawk if we don't kill those two we'll be dead." Earthquake stared intensely at her partner.

"...Hawk please, it won't be worth it..."

"I said shut up!"

With a single tear dropping to the floor, a single bullet was fired, and Specter's body dropped dead.

Hawk and Earthquake couldn't kill Betrayus since he was executed. And they both were killed by Skeebo when they tried taking him hostage. Specter and Betrayus made up in the meantime, and they got together, having both Cisco and Xyro, the entirety of Specter's backstory is that he was betrayed by his bestest friends, but he got his highschool crush in the end.

I have a tolerance for Specter now, Spectrayus I don't mind the ship, but it did remind me of the phase of 'shipping Slappy with a Male Oc' that I don't want to get reminded of. But now, it's okay 👍

#pmatga #original au #pmatga au #lord betrayus #specter #spectrayus #betrayus x specter #suicidal au #fate au #and they were roommates #he was a simp #specter hate page?? #not anymore #specter dislike page #he was friendzoned a lot

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

The Tournament of Elements episode 3-4

WHAT IS GOING ON

oh Zane’s having a nightmare.

Why a dragon though, you had one as a pet for like a whole season.

Nya, Wu is NOT the one to go for love advice.

Nya: its just, coles like, i connect with him on a deeper level.

Do you?

Nya: but hes always so serious all the time

No hes not

This was literally his goofiest season

I forgot Misako and Garmadon are still married.

Theyre like, husband and wife.

Thats so weird for some reason

Garmadon: theres a lesson to learn from this son.

Garmadon: If you turn your back on your evil sensei. You will not be served creamy biscuits.

Istg sometimes Wu and Garmadon just say shit and see if the ninja will interpret it in a useful way like an english teacher asking you what the poem means to you

Jay: And i thought ninja didnt steal other ninjas girlfriends!!

WHEN WAS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND???????

I love Chens character as a villain. All of this is merely for his entertainment and this whole tournament of manipulation is for his own gain. i love villains who are more manipulative than straight up evil. Thats probably why the overlord didnt stick with me that much.

THE HISTORICAL JAY AND COLE FIGHT

i still remember this from my childhood

Jay: One of us has to lose!!! Oh my god its totally gonna be me. Hes got super strength! And what do I have??!?! QUICK, TELL ME WHAT DO I HAVE?!?!

Insecurities coming in hot there Jay you okay?

Yes it sucks that theyre fighting punching bags with each others faces.

but that doesn’t change the fact that they both have a single headshot photo of one another—

Its startiiiing

Jesus christ theyre immediately at it didnt even let Chen finish speaking 💀

Nickname 1: Blue-belle

Yes that nickname was said as an insult

Apparently.

Not one of Coles best…

Zane escaped!

WAIT WHY IS PIXAL SCRAPPED?!?!?

How did that happen

If they never explain how then im headcannoning that instead of Zane putting himself back together. It was Pixal but she couldnt find the right nindroid parts, so she used herself, kinda like a lung transplant or something, in simple words. Especially since she had half his heart.

God these robots have gone through so much

“I was more upset about losing you!”

Ah yes the famed line

Jay and Cole made up so quickly😭

Why didn’t yall resolve this literally a few minutes ago all you had to say was a few words

AND NOW THEYRE FIGHTING TOGETHER

“I got your back!”

“And I’ve got yours.”

Theyre the bestest of friends i love their dynamic sm

Okay but you can tell that beforehand, they were yelling heated words at one another but they never tried to physically harm the other.

Theres so many moves theyre using rn that they didnt even try before

Thought process was probably like ‘okay so i can do this— wait that would actually hurt him.’

Lloyd using garmadons advice!!!!!

“Good work son :)”

When he becomes evil again im gonna be so heartbroken

Jay (now that one of them is being forced to take the jade blade): It should be you! We both know im lucky to even have gotten this far

Jay your really worrying me with your self deprecation at this point

The way Cole knew he would lose his power if he lost. That he doesn’t even really know where he’ll end up other than some sort of factory. But still sacrificed himself.

Got me feeling all emotional

God i could FEEL the euphoria of Kai learning him and skyler weren’t related, that was pure relief right there

Okay but that was some skilled manipulation.

Chen taking away something precious and then blaming it on Cole and Jay being uncooperative so everyone turns on them. Thats like manipulation 101

Smart tho

Kinda sucks that even Kai fell for it 🫠

Cole: you can take my clothes, my power! But you will never take my super strength!!!

Cole (tries to bust open the cell but fails): okay you got that too.

How is that even possible tho

Last I remember Coles super strength wasn’t connected to his elemental power

He picked up trees and shit when Lloyd was the golden ninja.

Cole getting all giddy and picking up a fortune cookie: you know theres a fortune in these right :D

Hes so stupid i love him.

Jay knowing how to roller-skate is so him.

Jay: did i ever tell you i got first place in the mother-son skate off!

Invisible guy: weirdo.

Dont need to be so rude about it damn.

Kai immediately fell on his ass in front of skyler its not looking too great for him

Jay doing flips/tricks in skates in the background, just having the time of his life is something so nice to see

Ninjagos actually pretty good with disabled representation.

Cyrus borgs character is just a good character in general, i like him a lot.

And the master of sound being blind. Yes, when he loses his elemental power he has trouble figuring out where people and things are but later hes shown as very skilled with hearing and stealth just from prior knowledge. Hes almost able to escape. before being fed to the serpentine that is.

OH. CAMILLE. LIKE CHAMELEON. BC SHE CAN SHAPE-SHIFT AND CHANGE FORM-

Chen is so entertaining as a character

Jay: its us against the world Kai!

That is smth so personal out of context

Skyler What the hell!!! Ik ur related to chen somehow but to pit Kai against his little brother?!?!?!

Also why is Kai so easy to manipulate

Youre not even here to win??? especially not against Lloyd. Your here for Zane.

Its so weird that only Kai doesnt know how to skate.

Skating isnt that common of a skill why do all these people know how to rollerblade AND shove people while doing it. Do you know how hard that actually is?

Nya (talking to herself): uhhhh nothing unusual to see here… just aaaa technological advanced mobile base camouflaged as a noodle truck 😀

Shes so funny i love her

Clouse: you were once comfortable with lying… it worked on Misako, didnt it?

now thats a low blow. How does he even know about the love letter.

Jay and Lloyd are so cool as a duo in this

Lloyd: you didnt learn that in your mother-son skate off, did you?

Jay: It was a fierce competition Lloyd 😤

Now i cant stop imaging Jay and edna shoving all these mothers and sons on skates while ed cheers in the back

Jays family makes me so soft

KAI DOING THE LITTLE MARCHES 😭😭😭

I remember doing that when I was learning

WAIT THAT WAS ACTUALLY IMPRESSIVE GO KAI

Jay is such a little bastard 💀

Jay dodging Camille as he holds her jade blade: i got it! You want it! I got it! You want it! Come and get it! Come and get it!!

FINALLY they're all on the ninjas side

Wait wait wait how was Lloyd able to turn the buggy into his own vehicle aren't only the techno blades able to do that?

Garmadon everytime Clouse tries to do dark magic: time to tackle this guy.

Why is he so dramatic just punch the pretentious fuck

Skyler: if all of us quit, what tournament would you have?

I feel like this was a moment where skyler stood up to Chen in a way.

Idk just makes me look at it in a different lense now that Ik they're related.

Cole: Zane!!! Your alive! You look- silver?

Zane: titanium. Cole you look, white!

Cole: (bursts out laughing)

the black cole head cannon is so funny in this moment

Cole sounds so happy to see Zane again 🥹

The voice actors are too good.

Guard: wheres Cole.

Cole: right here big guy! Whats wrong? Looks like youve seen a ghost.

They

Did

Not.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #Rewatching Ninjago

[starlitangels]

Lots of caps lock under the cut

CAELUM!

CAELUM CAELUM CAELUM!!!!!!

MY PRECIOUS BABY BEAN IS BACK! MY SON HAS RETURNED TO ME FINALLY

Oh my word I missed him so much

And he’s learned so much from being away for as long as he has and he’s grown up just a little and those little implications of the older Empathy Daemons being concerned for him because he was starting down the same path as Regulus and managed to get guided off of it from being assigned to Freelancer that he’s still too young to understand and—

OMG IM JUST SO HAPPY TO HAVE MY BEST LITTLE BUDDY BACK!

I MISSED ME ONE SWEET GOOFY DORKY LOVABLE DAEMON

And the fact that Gavin got to play messenger between him and Freelancer!!! Caelum my precious little guy, you are so cute

Man I needed him today 💖

Sweet precious baby bean. My little buddy. The bestest best friend a Freelancer can have who’s grown and learned so much and—

And that little space is important and he finally figured out that it’s there and what it means for him and—

Y’all Caelum means a lot to me

#Redacted ASMR #Redacted Caelum #Caelum

[universal-kitty]

1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 11, 13, 15, 16, 18, 23, 25, 28, 29, 32, 35, 36, 38, 40, 46, 48, 50 and 51 for any of your Platonic f/O's!! Maybe multiple because I asked so many whoops ajsndnfjf (@hardcoresshippingmyself)

Another Platonic Self Ship Ask Meme@hardcoresshippingmyself1. Do you have a secret greeting/handshake?2. What’s your favorite inside joke?

   THAT…. REALLY IS A LOT…….but I did burn through a BUNCH of the new BnHA eps, so maybe tis a good time to talk about my good son….

   Izuku Midoriya!!!! So I’ll answer all these questions with him!! To start… We do not have a secret greeting! Mostly cause neither of us have…considered that. (Now I’m feeling we should.) I mostly give him hugs! I may also teach at U.A., but……. I am also prone to favoritism, just like the rest of the staff, HAH.

   Our favorite inside joke… I suppose it’s chanting “banana, banana…” Why? How this became a thing?!? …….That’s why it’s an inside joke. ;> It’s very silly, I’ll admit to that much.

3. What is your favourite sleepover activity?

   Well, teachers don’t usually have sleepovers with the students….but what Aizawa doesn’t know I do won’t kill him! I usually regale him and the other 1-A kids about my heroic exploits. I even opened up a little on what it’s like to grow up with a villain parent, so I try to be a bit of an eye-opener that way.

   The stories are the better part of the night, though. I get super into reenacting them!!

6. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done together?

   ….Tried to prank Aizawa together and getting caught. Scolded, too. It’s one thing when it’s rowdy kids, but for a teacher to get into the spirit of pranks….. Sorry, Midoriya…

8. Who is more likely to get into a fight defending the other?

   We both are defensive of the other, but it depends on the topic. Izuku gets more angry when he overhears people talking down of me due to my father, a villain. (Distrust of my background, as you do.) I get angry and worked up when it’s someone talking shit about him. (I’ve learned restraint with Bakugo, the mouthy kid…but anyone else? These paws are rated E FOR EVERYONE!)

   I try to be the level-headed adult, but that’s not always guaranteed… [siiiiiighhh]

11. What do your texts/letters to each other usually consist of?

   Something like this.

13. What’s your best memory together?

   Heh, aside from meeting that kid? (He’s a little treasure HONESTLY, just ask Toshi next Takeover; I’ve cried over Izuku before.) I guess it would be when Toshinori and I invited him and his mother out for a picnic! I thought it’d be a nice way to all hang out together, meet up with her again, and just…have a nice day with good food.

   It was wonderful.

15. How do you help each other cope with your trauma?

   I’m there for him as much as possible, to make sure these things aren’t effecting him too badly. Being in such…early situations of danger can really mess with a person. I’d know; it’s not like dad’s villainy was a secret after I was born. He was never really a danger, but I felt it on him.

   And being a pro hero? Taxing, emotionally. People can not realize that…. So I check up on him sometimes to make sure he’s okay and knows that he can tell me anything. In return, that bright smile cheers me up. I’ve told him as much; I may have depression, but it always feels better when he smiles. He really is like Toshi in that way…….

16. Do either of you have an item of clothing you wear that used to belong to the other? (Eg. You stole their jacket and they let you keep it)

   Ahh, no! He’s too smol for me and it’d be weird. Though…. Not a wear item, but he did ask what happened to some of my older stuff from my younger hero days… I let him keep an old collar from my school days, since it collects dust and I thought he’s appreciate a trinket like that.

   I hear it’s stationed around a figure of All Might, these days…..

18. What do you both do that annoys each other?

   For Deku… Well, early on I got annoyed by how much he got hurt. Less anger, more a sort of panic and concern that bubbled into other emotions, you know? It’s reckless behavior and…I just didn’t want him to be lethally hurt, but he always tempted fate….. Now that he’s getting better at controlling One for All, I’m relaxing a bit more, but…yeesh. Otherwise, I love the kid.

   Ditto with him to me. Once the news leaked my dad was a villain, things…blew up for awhile. They’re still not perfect. Yet when things started calming down, I took it upon myself to still get involved in issues, saving people left and right to prove to them (and even myself, in a way) that I’m still a hero. Deku got fussy with me for the same reasons and overexerting myself when I didn’t need to.

   …He’s a good kid.

23. If you have a romantic f/o how do they react to them? Do they know them? Do they get along?

   HAHA, OH BOY. GLAD YOU ASKED…. Fanboy to the highest degree. Me being related to a villain? Whatever. Learning that I was dating his hero, however…? Izuku went over the moon. We’d never made our relationship public and had no intention to, but that kid was one of the first to know.

   ….And the first major fanboy we were ever going to get, let’s be real. I wouldn’t be surprised if he became an avid shipper on some forum to talk about it… Ehehehe~

25. If one of you gets injured how does the other react? (And during the healing process do they hover or only occasionally check in?)

   I freak out over Izuku on the daily, so you know I’m hovering wherever I’m allowed to be until he’s awake again. Y’know, considering most of his injuries end up being LIFE THREATENING….. Eugh. If it’s a smaller thing, I make sure it’s not too bad, deal with it, we’re good… With only minor hovering to make sure it’s not bothering him too much.

   On the reverse, he tries to hover, but school keeps him busy. He visits when he can, I appreciate the company, and he usually goes right back to melting when Toshi stops in, too.

28. Have you ever accidentally referred to them as your sibling/parent? What was their reaction?

   I have most assuredly called him my son before. At this point, he has two moms and Toshi is his dad. I am absolutely okay with this. (Inko got a laugh out of it when I told it to her later, too!)

29. Who gives who piggybacks when they’re tired? Who carries the other in general?

   I’m the big, strong adult here! I carry the boy! ….Though he’s really getting harder to carry with all that muscle he’s been gaining… Yeesh, kid! They really grow up too fast, huh?

32. If they see you getting uncomfortable in a conversation will they intervene and give you a chance to get out of said conversation or will they let you deal with it yourself?

   He rushes over, immediately. Unless it seems like not a good idea. Then he quickly gets Toshinori, instead. OR texts him to get over there, immediately, and proceeds to stall for time.

   Either way, I’m about to be protected and…..I kinda need it. People are too much for me, sometimes…!

35. Have you ever built something together?

   Mostly Lego stuff! It’s a struggle, but a nice way to relax with a friend and hang out with hilarious frustrations over pieces. Iida tries to help on occasion and we’ve learned he’s much better at getting that sort of thing done than we are.

36. If you were stranded on an island together what would happen?

   We’d be the best fuckin’ survivors of all time! Cat quirk and One for All….. We’d dominate and surely get home in no time.

38. Do you quote vines/memes/musical lyrics to each other and laugh as everyone else has no idea what you’re both saying? What’s your favorite thing to quote together?

   OH, I quote Vines and memes ALL THE TIME with the class!!! I enjoy it because Aizawa largely disapproves (and understands nothing; he’s a cat video man) and Toshi is thrice as baffled.

   “Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!” is our favorite. Right next to “I’m just cooking pizza.”

40. What’s the most embarrassing photo they have of you and vice versa?

   His is a picture he caught of Toshi and I hugging in the breakroom. I mean, he got a good shot and it’s sweet, in a way, but also….!! DEKU, PLEASE– (To my knowledge, he still has that to this day.)

   My personal favorite is when he slipped on a banana peel and all you see in the picture is wide eyes of fright and a blue of green and grey. I was laughing so hard that day!!! Still my favorite to look back on.

46. When you’re both bored and have nothing to do what do you do to cure your boredom? (Eg. Play pranks, annoy each other, pillow fight, etc.)

   Pillow fights or pranks on the others, for sure! I especially adore ruining Mineta, as he’s a little goblin and deserves all that happens to him.

48. Would ‘Platonic Soulmates’ be an accurate description of your bond?

   Ehhhh, after thinking about it…. Not really. It’s more mentor-student or parental than something dramatic like soulmates. It’s just not that deep for us, yanno?

50. What are a couple of words that sum up your friendship?

   Bright, laughter, joy, free, and forever.

51. Not a question, give a random fact/headcanon about you and your f/o!

   Later confirmed, he did start a movement for shipping “All Might x Mani-Neko”. Where there was nothing before, there are fans and rather silly fanfictions. A few art, too. It’s all…weirdly adorable.

   The better part was overhearing Deku and Toshi talking about where to find more content and what they thought of this-and-that…. Its great, in its own way, it really is.

#hardcoresshippingmyself #Aki answers #self insert #self insert community #I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW I STAN IZUKU DEKU MIDORIYA #HE IS MY PRECIOUS SON AND BESTEST FRIEND #I WOULD DIE FOR HIM #BUT HE WON'T LET ME #anyways this was lotsa fun!!!! #thank you for doing this!! #Deku Scrub #Watashi no Hero Academia

[btsydtrash]

So Far Away [2]

single father yoongi x preschool teacher yn; mechanic vmin

Living as a single father, Yoongi had to make many adjustments to his lifestyle, specifically in two aspects: his sleep schedule and dating. Both of which, he doesn't get to pay enough attention to.

Things all change when he meets YN - a warm-hearted girl who gives him butterflies and makes him feel as if he's floating on cloud nine.

Now, all that he has to do is get her to actually notice him.

Masterlist / i dont have a tag list / find me on twitter  /  word count: 2.9k

author’s note: so the side-pairing is vmin, and that’ll develop as the story goes on, but won’t be a main narrative. taehyung is the bestest friend in the world and would do anything for YN. no, literally. anything.

(angst / smut / yandere / gore / fluff)

Chapter 2 - Intrigue

“Taehyung, I need you to stop doing this to my shampoo,” you cry, holding the empty container above your head like an anvil. “I really mean it this time!”

“Sorry, YN,” the handsome man says, putting both hands together in a prayer position, but he doesn’t move his eyes from the TV screen. “I have a sensitive scalp and your shampoo is a god’s send.”

“Stop using it or I’ll cut up your favorite Alexander McQueen’s,” you threaten, pointing a finger in his direction in warning.

Taehyung grimaces at your threat but doesn’t flinch. He knows there isn’t any heat behind your words, plus he had already bought a new bottle of shampoo for you. It was in your room, but you hadn’t seen it yet. He supposes you were too frazzled by your early morning to really check your surroundings.

“Check your desk,” he says, distractedly.

“For?”

“Just go, Juicy,” he tells you, with a roll of his eyes. “Quickly. You wanted me to drive you to work today, didn’t you?”

You glare at him, before disappearing into your room. The two of you have been house-mates since meeting in college, realizing you both were on the same creative arts course. Taehyung decided to blend his love of cars with painting and detail work so once he graduated, he apprenticed at a mechanic’s in Daegu, while you had used your talents and your love for kids to become an art’s teacher for pre-schoolers.

Taehyung’s first store was small but the work he was able to do was interesting enough for a couple weeks, but soon, he realized the quality of clientele he was getting didn’t match what he wanted to do. It turned out that you had the hook-up. One of your loser ex-boyfriend’s was the son of a big mover in the Seoul car distribution scene and he knew a guy who knew a guy who gave Taehyung an in at a cool-ass mechanic’s shop in Seoul.

Once their relationship dissolved some weeks later, which, thank God, both Taehyung and YN had already made their way to Seoul together and they have lived together since. Taehyung thinks there isn’t another soul who knows him as well as you does. You know his likes, his dislikes, his habits, his idiosyncrasies, the way he sits or stands when he’s frustrated or happy, when he needs a break, when he misses his parents, when he wants to go for a smoke - even when he needs a piss. You know it all.

If he wasn’t attracted to men, he probably would have married you by now.

Just as the thought passes through his head, you poke her precious face out from around the corner and murmurs, “Hey, Tae..”

“Just say ‘thank you’ and go,” he cuts her off, spooning in another mouthful of sugary cereal.

You pout a bit but reply, “Sorry for threatening to ruin your things. And thank you for the new bottle.”

He half-shrugs. “I finished it, so I should buy the new one. Now go and shower so I can take you to work. I want to get a couple of things before work for the guys.”

“Nothing says ‘thank you for having me’ like whiskey and pop tarts,” you remark, drily.

He scoffs. “I was only going to get the whiskey this time.”

“Yes, I remember the strawberry pop tarts didn’t go over too well last time,” you tease. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

He hears you pad upstairs and true to your word, it only takes most of the episode for you to come down, full-dressed in a shapely pair of jeans and a lovely floral blouse that compliments your warm and deep skin tone. Being a foreigner, you draw attention wherever you go, and Taehyung swears, he hasn’t seen anyone as bright as you - and he’s met a whole bunch of people.

“How do I look?”

“I wish my dick responded when I looked at you,” he replies, honestly. “You look amazing.”

She grimaces. “You couldn’t just say I look pretty and leave it at that?”

“‘Pretty’ doesn’t express my full meaning,” he explains, throwing an arm over your shoulder and grabbing his car keys from the bowl near the front door. “Tell me, Ms DJ, what are we listening to today?”

She contemplates for a moment before she answers, “I’m thinking 90s. Throw it all the way back.”

Taehyung nods, just happy to have his best friend leave the house in a good mood. “Whatever you want, Juicy.”

The drive is quick as the traffic is light, considering the time in the morning. Taehyung doesn’t know why she wanted to get to work so early, nor what was in the huge shopping bags that she made him carry, but she was bouncing in her seat with excitement, eyes glittering.

“So, Juicy,” he says, pulling at a red-light and reclining in his seat. “When did you last talk to lover-boy?”

Instantly, YN goes quiet, curling in on herself and Taehyung only has to cast a side-long glance her way to see how shy she became at the mention of her crush.

“He doesn’t stay for long, so we don’t, you know, really talk much,” she explains, her small smile growing into something beautiful and private. “But, Sena talks about him all the time. He’s her favorite person in the whole world, and I really like hearing about him.”

Taehyung blanches at the sappiness in her tone of voice. “You’ve been crushing on this guy for half a year at least, at this point. You’re really not going to tell him how you feel?”

She shakes her head, curls bouncing endearingly. “He’s my student’s dad. It’s a big conflict of interest.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “You aren’t his therapist. He’s free to date whoever he wants. So are you.”

“He doesn’t look at me like that, Tae,” she admits, bashfully. “Look at me. Why would he?”

Taehyung practically slams down on the brakes at her admission and turns his body to face his best friend. “We’ve talked about this, a lot, YN. I literally would carve his eyes out if he even blinked at you wrong. Any man, any woman, any person would be lucky to have you in their life. And if he can’t see that, I mean it when I say this - he can choke and die.”

You blink up at him, his chest heaving at his impassioned speech, before you nod. He waits for a beat, just to make sure you have understood how serious he is, before he turns back to the road and continues driving ahead.

“I already told you,” he says, reaching for your hand and using your palm to maneuver the clutch. “You are literal starlight. You are so bright and warm and kind and inviting. Anybody who gets to be around you, me included, is so fortunate.”

“Thanks, Tae,” you mumble, lightly, squeezing his fingers with your own before turning your eyes back out of the window and singing along quietly to the music pouring from the stereo.

“Love you, Juicy,” Taehyung says, as you close the door behind you. He yells, “It’s jjigae night tonight. Don’t forget.”

“Like I could,” you answer. “Love you, Tae. Drive safe. And here.”

You reach into your shopping bag and pull out a little lunch box for him. “I made some of your favorites last night.”

He feels his heart drop to his toes at the cute heart-shaped box. “YN… I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone who loves me like you love me, you know.”

You roll your eyes at his sappy words and answer, “Good, ‘cause I won’t find anyone who’ll love me like you love me either. We’re stuck with each other.”

Taehyung’s answering grin was so bright and earnest that you found yourself thinking about it all the way into work.

..

Jimin walks into work, headphones pressed into his ears and old-school 90s rhythm and blues pours into his ears. He nudges open the door with his side and freezes at the sight of an unfamiliar back. The guy is facing away from him, seemingly engaged in earnest conversation with Jungkook about something or other, and Jimin finally pulls out a headphone to catch the tail end of the conversation.

“I bought my girl a pair of those for her birthday last year, but she never wears them,” the stranger laments, running a hand through shaggy brown hair. His arms are long and his fingers are pretty. Jimin shakes his head slightly at the thought - he’s never thought of a guy’s hands as pretty before. “She prefers those practical flat shoes with the flowers on them.”

Jungkook grimaces slightly. “Sucks, bro. ‘Cause those shoes are so nice. You got a couple pair to match and everything.”

“We do everything together, so,” the guy mumbles, half-shrugging. “I’m happy to meet another shoe collector, though.”

Jungkook smirks. “Finally. The guys over here only care about hard-toe boots and this one,” he gestures to Jimin who has been stood silent for at least a minute, just watching the two, “only ever wears Chelsea boots.”

The guy follows Jungkook’s line of sight where they land on Jimin’s surprised form, and Jimin feels the air get sucked out of his chest at the sight of the other man. He’s stunning.

He comes across as charismatic, his smile is inviting and friendly but not overbearing, as if he’s holding much of it back. The square of his jaw makes him appear more mature, but his eyes twinkle with youth.

Jimin recovers quickly, holding out his hand and giving his best, most amicable smile that doesn’t express just how frazzled he was at the sight of this stranger.

“So, you’re the new guy?”

The other man nods, and his smile grows until it is perfectly rectangular and his eyes disappear. His hand-shake is firm, and Jimin tries not to go weak in the knees at the sight of how easily his larger hand envelops his smaller one. He says, “Call me Taehyung.”

Jimin pulls away and shoves his hand in his pocket to hide the trembling, and asks, lightly, “How old are you?”

“24,” he answers. “December.”

“Me too,” Jimin replies. “October.”

He contemplates for a minute before he asks, “I should call you Hyung from now on, then, right?”

“If you want,” Jimin answers, a shiver climbing his back at the respectful term. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him, but he feels all out of sorts just seeing this guy. He knows he likes men, but what the fuck is he supposed to do with all this? Jimin isn’t even sure if he is going to be able to function today. “I’m gonna go give the donuts to Namjoon-hyung. He’ll complain otherwise. Jungkook, you got this, right?”

The youngest nods, his long hair pushed back with a thin black headband swishing with the motion. “Sure thing, Hyung. Gimme one of those before you go.”

Jimin swats the tattooed hand that moves to try and swipe a donut for himself and the younger man rears back, giving his best hurt puppy look. Jimin’s lip curls up in distaste but he holds the bag out, with a roll of his eyes. “One, Jungkook. One.”

The long-haired manufacturing engineer makes a gleeful noise and digs into the bag, pulling out the lemon-flavored donut. Once he moves out of the way, Jimin offers the bag to the other man and he says, kindly, “You too, Taehyung.”

“Thanks, Hyung,” the puppy-like man says, reaching into the bag and pulling out a purple and blue donut with shimmery glitter. “It’s pretty.”

The way he says it, his eyes lingering on Jimin’s face for a beat too long, before he bites into the donut and he gives the shorter man a playful wink, turning back to Jungkook to continue their conversation.

Jimin walks into Namjoon’s office, and he braces himself by leaning against the door, closing his eyes and letting out a long heavy gust of breath.

“Are those my donuts?”

Jimin nods, and Namjoon pads over, excitedly, to grab them from him and he digs into the bag.

“You met the new guy, right? Taehyung?”

Jimin nods again, words escaping him.

Namjoon eyes Jimin, curiously. “What’s eating you?”

“Nothing,” he replies. “But I wish he was.”

Namjoon’s eyes widen around his mouthful of cream and sweet batter. “Is this going to be an issue?”

Jimin shakes his head, carding a hand through his dark locks. “I can separate business from pleasure, Joon. I’m just saying: he’s hot like burning.”

Namjoon snorts. “He is cute. And he’s friendly to boot. He brought everyone a bottle of whiskey.”

“Jungkook doesn’t like whiskey,” Jimin comments.

“He wouldn’t admit to that, though,” Namjoon replies, smirking lightly. “He’s too proud for all of that.”

Namjoon puts his hand on the back of Jimin’s neck, leading him out of the room and back out into the open area. He says, to the rest of the boys, “We’ve got the four-man detail coming in in an hour. The pick-up in the day after tomorrow. The parts are coming in in the morning, but all we need to do today is break it down, deep clean and paint the parts that we do have.”

Jungkook sits up straighter. “I’ve got the deep clean.”

Taehyung smiles a bit. “Can I take the painting part?”

Namjoon nods. “Jimin, are you okay with watching over him this time around, just so he knows how we do it here?”

Jimin feels himself nod, trying hard to avoid Taehyung’s curious gaze, keeping his eyes fixed on Namjoon’s face. Their boss squeezes Jimin’s neck, warmly, and says, “Good. Hoseok said he’ll swing by later to help Yoongi with the break-down, before Yoongi leaves to go pick up Sena.”

Taehyung’s face twists a bit, distantly recognizing the name, but he shakes it off once Jungkook taps him on the chest to gain his attention.

“I’ll show you around the shop,” the maknae says, grabbing a spare loose jacket with the company logo printed on the breast pocket. “Wear this whenever customers come in and take it off when you go outside for a smoke break.”

“I don’t smoke,” he replies. “My girl doesn’t like the smell.”

It was a little disingenuous of him to represent YN as his ‘girl’, knowing the implications suggest that they are in a love relationship, but for all intents and purposes, you were his girl - his best friend, his girl, his person, his Juicy. All that and more.

“Good. I hate it, too,” the long-haired man says, walking into a wide back area with a bunch of cars in various stages of disrepair. “This is where we work our magic.”

He flicks a light and it takes a moment for the flickering lights overhead to come to life.

Jungkook rattles off, a bored tone in his voice, “Left side are western models, right side are Korean. Over here is where we log customer information, that is where we put any damaged parts that the Big Boss is going to want to sell for scraps. We don’t usually get cars that are that damaged, but still, be careful. Always wear appropriate protective gear. If you get hurt on-site, you’re entitled to getting your hospital fees covered, but still, it puts you out of work and it’s annoying to have to clean up the blood after.”

Taehyung covertly rolls his eyes, already knowing these rules. He isn’t as wet behind the ears as this guy seems to presume, but he lets him do his job of introducing him to his new environment. He shrugs on the jacket and fixes his collar as Jungkook shows him all of the equipment, hung on walls and hidden in locked crates. The equipment isn’t complex, but it is expansive and so there was a lot of information to take in.

Taehyung can’t wait to tell you all about it.

He wonders how your day is going, and if you would tell him about whatever adventures you had with your students. He was used to coming home and seeing paint-stained clothes in the hamper or your own easels filled with pretty pictures that you had made with your kids’ help. You loved creating art with your students, and he loves seeing you happy, so he often paid for the paint supplies and other utensils that you used in your classes.

“Are you listening?”

Taehyung blinks and focuses his eyes on the apparently-miffed man in front of him. “Sure, my bad. Keep going.”

He tries his hardest to focus on the words coming out of the other man’s mouth, and he spent the next couple of hours getting acclimatized to his new work place. When the cars arrived, each of the men become quiet and focused on their work. He was introduced to Hoseok, a brown-haired bright man with a sharp jawline and a kind smile consistently on his face, and Yoongi, a shorter, reserved man with fluffy brown hair and a delicate, measured way of speaking.

Something about the second man struck him as familiar but as soon as the thought comes to his mind, it disappears as he becomes more intrigued by the pretty brunet who avoids being alone with him.

Park Jimin.

- end -

(1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

#vmin #vmin fic #bts fic #non idol au #non idol bts #mechanic vyoonmin #so far away #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x oc #taehyung calls yn 'juicy' or 'love' #btswriterscollective #btswritersguild #btswritersclub #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #preschool teacher yn #plus sized reader #black female reader #single father au #bts x reader #bts x yn

[samstree]

and baby makes four (or five)

(mpreg, pre-relationship geraskier, mutual pining, pregnant jaskier, vague mpreg setting, roach is also mom, baby horse, horse trivia, 1.5k, read on ao3) 

Jaskier pets the newborn foal’s still-damp mane and grins to himself. The tiny horse—Little Roachie, he decides—is laying on the ground, surrounded by soft hay and dozing peacefully. He deserves it after the ordeal—well, Jaskier believes it counts as one. The foaling almost gave him heart palpitations, but Geralt says everything went just as planned and both Roach and the baby are safe and sound.

And they are, finally, when the entire day has passed and the moon is high in the sky.

The witcher himself is feeding the mare their last apple. If the doting was bad before, it has definitely gotten worse since she became a mom. It’s not like anyone could fault Geralt, Jaskier reckons. Although the sight of the almighty White Wolf indulging his horse is way too precious, not that Jaskier will ever say it to his face. As much as he loves to see Geralt embarrassed, it might be unwise to upset his friend and get left in the middle of this backwater town in his current conditions.

Jaskier cradles the bump that is his stomach and feels his baby peacefully asleep too. Despite the barn being floored with thick hay, the sitting position is growing uncomfortable with everything weighing down on his midriff, and it won’t be long until his back starts aching again.

The foal jerks in his sleep, and Jaskier completely forgets about himself.

“Shh, it’s all right. Just sleep, darling. You must really need it if you’re so tiny. Look at how tiny you are.” His hand travels down to its leg and then the hoof. The hoof wall feels soft, or at least, less hard than what one would imagine for an adult horse. A soft gasp escapes his lips as his fingers reach the bottom. “Oh, Geralt! Come and see!”

The witcher hums absently as Jaskier picks out the straws and dirt obscuring his view and cradles the newborn foal’s hoof in his palm. There’s a layer of padding covering the sole. It’s … kind of spongy, and moist to the touch.

“Fascinating,” Jaskier muses as he pokes and prods the soft tissue, amazed at the weird texture and irregular shapes. When he looks up, Geralt is crouched beside him, leaving Roach to chew on the last of her treat.

“Newborns have those,” he explains.

“Will it hurt him when I touch it?”

“I don’t think so.” Geralt’s gaze falls on the small baby, the corners of his eyes crinkle ever so slightly. “The cushions develop during the last term of pregnancy. It protects the mother from all the kicking, and later during the birth. They’ll wear off as soon as he learns to stand.”

“Wow,” Jaskier croons at the foal, “you are such a gentle baby, aren’t you? Know to protect your mum, huh?”

His arm tightens around his own expanding waistline. The bump has gotten so big in the last few weeks Jaskier still gets taken aback every time he walks in front of a mirror. Looking down on it, the worry that’s been churning in his stomach resurfaces, the dread rising inexplicably. Jaskier hates to admit it, but he’s so, so nervous about what comes after. Sure, he looks forward to meeting his child, but just the thought of pushing a person out of his body is enough to send a shudder down his spine.

Jaskier chews on his lips. The silence hangs in the barn.

It’s Geralt who breaks it first. He sits down next to Jaskier gradually and crosses his legs, making sure the sleeping foal is still in sight.

“All babies are as gentle, Jaskier.” Golden amber eyes meet Jaskier’s, and they are filled with warmth and unvoiced understanding. “You never needed to worry for Roach.”

“But anything could have happened. She’s never had a baby before and we didn’t even notice for so long. The whole thing just … came out of nowhere. If something had gone wrong—”

“Nothing did,” Geralt says, more firmly this time. “I wouldn’t have let anything happen to her. I was here to make sure of it.”

Looking at the sincerity on the witcher’s face, Jaskier knows neither of them is talking about Roach anymore, and he can’t resist the upturn of his lips. It is true that Geralt did everything he could for Roach, setting her up at this farm and making sure she’ll be cared for after. Even when the mare got anxious the past two days, Geralt has been nothing but patient with her.

“Besides,” Geralt adds, tilting his head, “She’s strong. She can get through anything for her baby.”

A lump suddenly forms in Jaskier’s throat. His eyes prickle but he won’t let the tears fall. Not again. Even pregnant, it would be too mortifying for him to cry for what must be the one-hundredth time this week, and he won’t let Geralt make fun—

A kick lands on his bladder and oh boy it hurts. Jaskier chokes out a breath and curls into himself. “It seems—ahh, this one is bad—it seems that my baby could use some tips from Little Roachie here.”

“You can’t compare human babies to horses, Jask,” Geralt chuckles but rests his hand over the top of the bump and starts rubbing little circles, soothing the tiny but anxious person within. As always, it does the trick and the kicking gradually calms down. Jaskier isn’t sure if he should be jealous of this apparent superpower of Geralt’s or just glad he’s here. “Also, Little Roachie? Really?”

The warmth of Geralt’s palm is nice, seeping through the thin tunic and into Jaskier’s taut skin underneath. It takes a second for him to respond, “Are you not naming him Roach?”

“Why would I name him Roach?”

“Because you name all your horses Roach?”

“But, Jask, he’s Roach’s baby. It’ll be confusing.”

Jaskier blinks, incredulous.

“That,” he pauses, “is confusing?”

“Yes,” Geralt answers like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Six mares in a row having the same name was never a problem, but mother and son is where you draw the line.” Jaskier shakes his head. “Well, I’m glad there is a line somewhere.”

Jaskier lets out a string of giggles, bending backward and almost hitting the wall. When he finally ceases to find the witcher’s logic so amusing, Roach herself has sauntered near them. She’s probably heard her name and also wants in on all the fun.

The mare reaches down and headbutts Jaskier on his chest, almost touching his stomach. Geralt grows tense and ready to block her. It’d be sweet of him if the overprotectiveness isn’t so unnecessary.

“Oh, relax! Roach and I are the bestest of friends now.” Her muzzle touches Jaskier’s palm. “Motherhood has softened her. Look!”

“Hmm.”

He coos to Roach for a while until her attention returns to the once again unnamed foal. Jaskier finds himself completely knackered and ready to turn in. He yawns just in time.

“What a day, huh? Well, I don’t know about you but I could fall asleep in the next five minutes.”

“Oh.”

Geralt stands first to pull Jaskier up with steady hands, the movement so effortless it even makes Jaskier feel less bloated and sluggish.

“Will you—” Jaskier adjusts the hem of his tunic. “Will you stay with me? Like yesterday. It’s—I, um, I’ve been having trouble with all the kicking, as you know, and last night was the first time I got any rest in weeks.”

Geralt stares, his golden amber blown wide.

“You don’t have to, I mean,” Jaskier adds too quickly. “You help. Like just now, and you’ve been helping me for the past few months, even with everything going on with Roach. I don’t want to burden you further, but I just … I think the baby likes it a little better when you are there.”

And Jaskier likes it a lot better.

That part he can’t say though.

“Of course,” Geralt says, and a weight Jaskier didn’t know was carrying lifts off of his chest. “If it’s more comfortable for you.”

“Right. It is.”

“And, Jask … I know I might be overstepping. The baby is only yours after all.” Geralt swallows nervously, if witchers can get nervous talking to a simple bard. A simple bard who never expected to be pregnant and is terrified. “But if you need me, I can stay with you. Through everything, this … and after, as long as you need me.”

The lump returns. Jaskier meets Geralt’s gaze in earnest and all he can see is the devotion, the safety. Because that’s what Geralt is, his best friend and protector. The world may disagree, but Jaskier knows better from walking by his side for so many years, from never having been abandoned despite all the threats. He knows from the way Geralt leads him back inside with a hand on the small of his back and a smile in those amber eyes.

When the baby moves again, Jaskier can’t wait to drag Geralt’s hand over his stomach. Geralt looks awestruck, like he’s watching a miracle unfold before his eyes when it’s no more than a little person reacting to his touch.

“I think,” Jaskier says. “I think we’ll be just fine.”

“Of course. Both of you will.”

And for the first time, Jaskier might start believing it.

---

I leaned that thing about baby horsies in this youtube video. Please feel free to correct me if I got some facts wrong. I love horse trivia! <3 

#geraskier #geraskier fic #mpreg #pregnant jaskier #mutual pining #pre-relationship #emotional hurt/comfort #insecure jaskier #supportive geralt #soft geralt #protective geralt #baby horse #foaling #roach is mom #horse trivia #the setting of mpreg is very vague

[fontegagrilledcheese]

Dumbasses in Quarantine

This is my Bog Exchange fic! I finally finished! This is for the lovely @herostag I hope they like it!

Special thanks to Dani and Doug for beating my grammar with a stick. Ily <3

This is 2.9K words of idiots being idiots during the plague. Just pure fluff, no CW here. Modern Au.

1. Geralt had finally had enough of Jaskier complaining about all the takeout they had been consuming since everything had gone on lockdown, so here he was, watching a pot of noodles cook while Jaskier was in the living room weeding his island in Animal Crossing for the third time that week. He stirs the spaghetti around before grabbing a second pot and the jar of pasta sauce that he had bought at some point in the last few years. Geralt pours the sauce into the pot, throws some Italian seasoning in and hmms at the consistency before ladling some pasta water into the sauce to thin it out slightly. “Dinner’s almost ready” Geralt softly calls to Jaskier before going back to his noodles, fishing one out to check the doneness. Geralt bites into it and makes a face at the sweetness as Jaskier walks into the kitchen.

 “Everything all right there?” Jaskier inquires, coming over to look into the pots on the stove. 

“Hmmm, I think so. Taste this?” Geralt fishes another noodle out to hand over to Jaskier, who eats it with a hum. 

“That doesn’t taste right,” Jaskier says thoughtfully. “But I don't know enough about cooking to dispute it.” 

Geralt hums again, “Think it will be fine?” 

Jaskier just shrugs and goes to set the table, leaving Geralt to finish putting the meal together. Geralt tilts his head at the pots on the stove before pulling out his phone to text  Eskel ‘is pasta supposed to be sweet when cooking?’

While waiting for a reply, Geralt drains the noodles and dumps them into the sauce to stir them in before his phone rings with a call from Eskel. 

“You tried a noodle and it tasted sweet?”

“Yeah, is it supposed to be like that?”

There is a moment of silence where Lambert can be heard laughing in the background before Eskel replies, “Are you sure you put salt in the water?”

“Yeah, poured a bunch of salt in there like you said to.”

Eskel hums, “Are you sure it wasn't sugar? Did you make sure to taste it first?”

The silence on Geralt's side is telling, and Lambert can be heard dying in the background. 

“Thanks Eskel,” Geralt says before hanging up and staring down at the pot of sugared spaghetti. 

“Hey Jask, how do you feel about getting takeout again?”

Jaskier sighs, “What happened?”

Geralt blushes “I… I may have put sugar in the water instead of salt…”

“Oh… but the sauce?” 

“I put some of the pasta water in the sauce to thin it.”

Jaskier starts giggling, “G-Geralt... noooo.”

Geralt sighs, wearily turning off the stove. “So takeout?” 

“Yeah, takeout is fine. Whatever you feel like.”

Geralt hums and pulls up the delivery app, “Sorry, Jask.”

Jaskier sidles up to him, giving him a half hug, “Thanks for trying.” He leans fully into him so he can see Geralt's phone as they order.

2. A while into quarantine, Jaskier decided he needed some greenery in his life, since he couldn’t leave the house. This led Jaskier to order himself a cute little cactus from a local nursery for the next time they order a grocery pick up. Talking Geralt into stopping by the shop on the way back from the store proved easier than Jaskier had anticipated. Geralt had begrudgingly agreed after hours of Jaskier’s pouting and puppy eyes wearing him down. 

Jaskier dances around the apartment with his new treasure before placing it on the sunny windowsill in their living room. Geralt rolls his eyes but smiles at his roommates' antics, “You do know how to take care of it don’t you?”

Jaksier pouts at him, “It’s a cactus, how hard can it be! I just water it every so often and bam, beautiful thriving mini Geralt!”

Geralt huffs at him, grabbing a controller for their gaming console, “You promised I could destroy you at Mortal Combat if we picked up the plant.”

“Yes, yes Geralt I’m coming, just let me water my precious child.”

Weeks later, Little Geralt starts looking a bit droopy, causing Jaskier to water him, but unfortunately Jaskier does not account for his ADHD and lack of calendar filling out, and proceeds to water the poor cactus every day for the next two weeks, water logging and eventually killing poor Little Geralt.

Once Jaskier realizes, he cries to Geralt only a little and has a funeral for the cactus as he throws it away, being the absolute most dramatic about it as possible. Geralt just rolls his eyes at the antics and adds a new plant to the order list to pick up the next time they have their outing to go get groceries.

Jaskier gives Geralt the biggest hug when he realises they’re heading to the plant store and talks excitedly about how determined he is to to not kill Little Geralt the Second; Geralt just rolls his eyes half heartedly but helps Jaskier set up a calendar to keep track of when he’s watered the cactus. This works for about a month before Jaskier gets busy and forgets about his little plant, frying on the windowsill, until Geralt notices about three months later.

“Hey Jask, your cactus is looking a bit… shriveled.”

Jaskier rushes into the living room “NO!” He yells as he slides to a stop on his knees before the  dried up little plant “Noooooooo, Little Geralt the Second, nooooo!” he shakes his fists at the ceiling.

Geralt pats his shoulder comfortingly, “At least it lived longer this time.”

Jaskier shakes his head with a sigh. “I’m a terrible plant parent.”

Geralt hmms consolingly, “We can get you another. I’ll try to help you keep better track of it this time.” 

Jaskier nods, “Thanks Geralt,” and picks up his dead plant to go throw it out. 

Geralt just hmms and pulls up the pick-up list on his phone to add a new little cactus.

Three months later, Little Geralt the Third is thriving in its place on the windowsill, happily soaking up the sun on a bright spring day as a breeze comes through the window. Jaskier dances around the living room, vacuuming and dusting as Geralt cleans the kitchen of the previous night’s actually decent attempt at cooking. Jaskier sings along to ABBA, twirling with his duster mic when disaster strikes poor Little Geralt the Third. Jaskier swirls too close to the window and pops his hip at just the wrong time and the plant wobbles before being pushed off the edge and falls three stories down to the concrete sidewalk down below. Jaskier freezes at the crashing sound and turns to look out the window, staring down at his poor, broken plant.

“Nooooooo, Geralt!” Jaskier yells, and Geralt comes running in from the kitchen, startled by Jaskier’s cry. 

“Jask?!” 

Jaskier just points down at the sidewalk, falling to his knees “Geralt, I killed him! I killed our son! To ABBA!” 

Jaskier sprawls out on the floor dramatically, mourning the fate of poor Little Geralt the Third, who had been thriving wonderfully before going splat on the pavement. 

Geralt sits down next to his dramatic roommate and pats his leg, “That one was actually doing pretty well. Maybe we could get another and just find a better place for it to sit?”

Jaskier sniffles and looks through his lashes at Geralt, “Really?” 

Geralt nods before being tackled to the ground in a tight hug. 

“Thanks Geralt.” Jaskier whispers, nuzzling into his friend.

3. Geralt stood staring into the mirror at the red roots growing into his perfect silver platinum hair. He pouts at it, looking at his hair and then back down at his phone at the pictures of his past beautiful silver hair. 

“I can do it, how hard can it be?” he grumbles, glaring back at his roots. He nods to himself before searching different bleaches, toners, and silver dyes that are available at their local beauty shop.

A week and two trips to the store later, Geralt is once again standing in the bathroom and glaring at his roots in the mirror. “How hard can it be...”

Five hours later, Jaskier comes home from the park to Geralt sitting on the couch in a hoodie with the hood on and scrunched up around his face, pouting.

“So how did it go?” he asks.

Geralt grunts in response.

“Oh it can’t be that bad,” comes Jaskier’s exasperated reply, reaching for the hood over the back of the couch.

Geralt growls and catches his hand, yanking and pulling Jaskier over the couch and partially into his lap.

Jaskier laughs and reaches up again with both hands, trying to use one as a distraction. Geralt growls again and tackles him to the floor to pin him, where they tussle around before Jaskier gets an upper hand and pulls the hood off. Geralt freezes as Jaskier stares at him with wide eyes and a growing smile.

 “Don’t,” he growls.

Jaskier’s grin turns into giggles, then into full on laughter. “Geralt! Your hair!” 

Geralt sits back with a pout, still sitting on Jaskier. “I know, it's horrible.”

“It's bright purple! What did you do!?”

Geralt flushes, “I forgot to set a timer and left the toner in too long. It should wash out and wear off in a few weeks,” he grumbles.

Jaskier continues to giggle. “Well at least it's not permanent, and you bleached the roots pretty well.”

Geralt sighs and nods before laying down on Jaskier for a consolation cuddle. “Yeah, at least there's that.”

4. Geralt’s birthday was coming up and Jaskier was determined to celebrate it, even if they couldn’t go on their customary birthday bar crawl that they had gone on for both of their birthdays since they had been roommates in college. Jaskier wanted to go the extra mile for his bestest friend in the whole world and decided that he was going to make Geralt a homemade cake, icing drizzle and all. Jaskier had scoured the internet for weeks trying to find a cake he thought geralt would like and that he thought he could make with his limited baking abilities. He finally found the perfect recipe for a simple strawberry pound cake that he only had to buy a minimal amount of extra ingredients for. 

The day of Geralt's birthday, Jaskier sets up in the kitchen and banishes Geralt to the living room to play his new Witcher game while Jaskier makes the cake. 

He starts by setting out everything he needs and getting the beaters set up and his recipe out. He preheats the oven and then gets to work measuring everything out carefully, looking back at his recipe often, so often he doesn’t quite notice that he’s grabbed the salt container instead of the sugar and measures out the three cups the recipe calls for before adding it into the wet ingredients bowl to cream together as stated by the recipe. Jaskier goes about making his cake and mixing it up, carefully pouring it into the disposable cake tin they had bought specially for the event before putting it in the oven and carefully setting a timer on his phone.

He takes a break for a moment to make a cup of tea before cleaning up the mess from the cake and mixing up the simple drizzle icing for the cake.

The timer goes off and Jaskier pokes the cake with a toothpick as he has been directed, frowning at the lopsided cake. 

“Is that how it should look?” he mutters to himself, looking at the clean toothpick. “Guess it’s done.”

He pulls the cake out of the oven and  sets it on the rack to cool, poking little holes in it with the toothpick to help it cool and absorb some of the icing later.

After 30 minutes, he drizzles the icing over the cake, humming happily to himself. 

“Geralt, do you want to do cake now or later?” he calls into the living room. Geralt hmms and stands before replying, “Now.”

Jaskier grins and grabs them plates, forks, and a knife to cut the cake with.

Geralt stands beside him at the counter, smiling softly at the cake Jaskier has made him. 

“Thanks Jask,” he says softly. 

Jaskier grins fully at him. “Happy birthday, Geralt!”

They cut into the cake and serve themselves. Geralt happily eats his, reaching out to get seconds while Jaskier frowns at his slice. “Does this taste right to you?” he takes another bite while Geralt shrugs.

“Tastes fine to me,” he replies, happy to continue eating what his Jaskier has made him. 

Jaskier frowns more and looks at his recipe, “I dunno, doesn’t it taste salty?” 

Geralt hmms in thought before continuing to eat, “Suppose so, but it’s not too bad.”

Jaskier gasps. “Geralt! No Geralt, stop eating that! I must have mixed up the salt and sugar when I was measuring, oh! It's terrible, I’m so sorry, Geralt,” he whines, looking almost at the verge of tears. 

This causes Geralt to pause his gremlin-like cake eating, setting the plate down before pulling his best friend into a tight hug, resting his head against the others. “So maybe you had a booboo with it and it’s a little salty. You know I’m not picky, and it tastes fine and vaguely like strawberries. I’ll eat it anyway, Jask.” he grumbles out.

Jaskier sniffles. “But you deserve a good cake that’s made correctly.”

Geralt hums, “Maybe, but this is something you’ve made for me with all your heart, and I think it tastes alright, and I will keep eating it, because you made it for me and that makes it taste all the sweeter.”

Jaskier sniffles again, squeezing the man in his arms tightly “Oh, you big softy! You don’t have to eat it.” 

“But I want to.”

“Fine.” Jaskier sighs, nuzzling the broad chest he’s pressed against. “Love you”

Geralt smiles softly, pressing a kiss to Jaskiers temple. “Love you too, you disaster.” 

Jaskier gasps and smacks his chest “You!”

Geralt laughs and grabs his cake before dragging Jaskier to the couch. “Come on, I demand my birthday cuddles.”

Jaskier puffs his cheeks but settles against Geralt on the couch, holding the controller for him “If this is my penance.”

5. Usually Jaskier did the laundry while Geralt did dishes. This was because Jaskier had many a delicate piece in his wardrobe and he did not trust Geralt to treat his clothes the right way if he were to do the laundry. Geralt didn’t care much either way who did the dishes and who did the laundry, as long as the chores ended up done in the end. This was how their kitchen, laundry nook, and part of their living room ended up absolutely covered in bubbles.

They had decided to switch up the chore rotation for the week because the dishes weren’t too bad and Jaskier hadn’t worn any of his ‘delicate’ pieces in the past week and a half, meaning there was nothing of his Geralt could mess up. The switching of chores had unforeseen consequences however, in that neither remembers exactly how to do the new chore, as they hadn’t had to in at least a year. Rather than ask the other for help, both Jaskier and Geralt decided to wing it and try their best. 

Jaskier stares down at Geralt, slav squatting, staring at the bubbles that were slowly invading their apartment via the laundry and kitchen. 

“So, I couldn’t remember which dish liquid was the one for the dishwasher and put the red one in, which was apparently the wrong choice…… What did you do to create the bubbles in the washer?” 

Geralt grunts. “That was the dawn dish soap that we hand wash the alcohol glasses with,” he sighs. “I may have put a full cup of laundry detergent in the washing machine”

Jaskier gasps “A full- Geralt! The entire cup!? That’s at least double the amount you’re supposed to use!” 

Geralt pouts. “I couldn’t remember how much,” he grumbles

“You could have asked me!”

This earns Jaskier a raised eyebrow and the stink eye.

“Fair enough,” he giggles. “We should have asked each other when we were confused.”

Geralt nods before standing. “Well I guess we should turn the appliances off before the bubbles get worse… wish me luck”

Jaskier nods and jokingly salutes him. “I’ll remember you dearly.”

Geralt chuckles and shakes his head before wading into the bubbles to stop the dishwasher and washing machine cycles.

A minute later he reappears, covered in bubbles from head to toe, looking like some sort of grumpy snowman. Jaskier laughs at him before Geralt smirks and captures him in a bear hug, causing the man to shriek. “Nooo! Geralt my clothes! Ackkkk!”

Geralt swings him, picking him up slightly. “I think if we let the bubbles settle we can clean up in a little, but we should change first.”

Jaskier pouts “The point of you doing it was so only one of us had to change.”

Geralt gives him a toothy grin, carrying him towards their bedrooms to change. “But you laughed at me, that demands retribution.”

Jaskier just sticks his tongue out at him before being set down in front of his room. “Wanna play Smash while we wait?”

Geralt grins, “What, wanna get wrecked that badly?” he winks to Jaskiers affronted gasp before going in his room to change.

guess I’ll add my tag list huh

@geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde @jaskiersvalley @jaskierswolf @dani-dandelino @wherethewordsare @softnerdypeter @thecomfortofoldstorries @dapandapod @lindianaj0nes @kuripon​ @elliestormfound @veritasrose

Hope y’all enjoyed it >///<

#bog exchange #the witcher #geraskier #Geralt #Jaskier #and they were roommates #modern au #pre slash #best friends #could be established relationship #lowkey aro jaskier #ADHD jaskier #himbo geralt #cheese writes #this is so long omfg #i can't believe i wrote so many words #cheesy productions #hope hero likes it #cuddly boys #maybe they're both aro #idk #but they are best friends #no touch starved boys here

[runawaymun]

Could you please do the fandom characters ask for Tolkien?

Aaaaa thank you for sending this in!! 

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Elrond. It’s Elrond, okay? I just love him to pieces and I have exactly one braincell and it’s dedicated to thinking about him. Kind as summer? Fair? Ancient? The bestest Dad????? Father?? Hold me please. But also he’s my woobie babie boi and he deserves all the hugs and happiness. 

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Lindir, my love! As in, the version of Lindir from the Hobbit films. He’s just so precious?? So anxious. A smol wee babie GOD I love him. He literally gives me cuteness aggression like I want to pick him up and squash him into jelly. 10/10 you could kill him with a swift smack from a leather glove. He’s so stressed I just want to swaddle him in blankets and feed him grilled cheese. 

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Théoden! I really feel as if he isn’t talked about enough. I love his arc of despair vs courage. I love how much he cares for his people, how he strives to do the right thing. He’s kind of an opposite foil to Denethor in some ways. They both cared so deeply for their kingdoms and wanted to do right by them, but in the end (after a lot of fighting!) Denethor gives in to despair and, on the other hand, Théoden rides to his doom leading an army in the hopes that they will have a hand in saving Middle Earth. I think too many people really focus on his early Doom and Gloom (esp. in the films) and just don’t give him a chance. 

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Celebrían!!!!!!!! She’s mentioned like FOUR times in the entire Tolkien legendarium and that is a CRIME. She’s my MOM and I LOVE HER. In my head she is soft and wears flowers in her hair and likes to garden and has such a soft spot for animals. And she weaves magical fabrics!!! She devised waterproof bandages for Elrond and always makes clothes for her kids that are enchanted to be stain/tear/damage proof and also feel like a hug from a friend. 

She just lives rent free in my head and if anyone’s ever like ??? wait who’s Celebrían ?? I’m just over here john mulaneying it up like THAT’S!!! ELROND’S!!!! WIFE!!!!!!!

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Maedhros! I refuse to accept any narratives that paint him as an awful person. Did he do awful things? Yes. At the compelling of the Oath. Which he swore when he was pretty young without any real knowledge of what it would mean, and then later on his father’s actual literal deathbed. And Maedhros at every turn tried to do the right thing!!1 He begged his father not to burn the boats!! He went to treat with Morgoth knowing it was probably a trap but hey maybe this could all be over and he was willing to sacrifice himself if it meant everyone else might live!! He searched for Elrond’s uncles in the woods trying, trying, trying to save them!! He wrote to Sirion first, begging Elwing to just relinquish the Silmaril in the hopes that they could avoid another kinslaying. And in the end when the Oath woke again, he tried to obtain the jewels by theft, trying to cause as little death as possible.

Like??? God I LOVE him and he’s my poor little meow meow like please I will protect my Sad Tall Ginger Son.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Elrond again. Sorry. It’s too much fun to write Elrond whump. But I do this for the sole reason of the ensuing h/c that comes after it. 

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Manwë fucking sucks. He’s my most-hated character in the entire Tolkien legendarium. EDIT no I TAKE IT BACKI ‘M SO SORRY GUYS. Eol. FUCK Eol (but like Aredhel don’t fuck him sweetie) 

#(out of uniform)

[maulusque]

WHAT IF MAUL KIDNAPPED ANAKIN RIGHT OFF OF TATOOINE

(I started writing this and then it got out of hand and now it’s 3:30 in the morning, rest of it’s under the break so i don’t monopolize your dash)

So for whatever combination of reasons, Maul spits out the kool-aid and gets really disenchanted with Sidious a lot earlier than in canon. He starts wondering things like “why is he not telling me his master plan if i’m so important to it?” and “why do i get nothing more than vague promises of power sometime in the future, when i should be guaranteed a position as his second-in-command, after all I’ve done for this guy?” and “why does he treat me like i’m disposable, and then constantly tell me i’m crucial for his plans?”

and he starts thinking things like “hey wait a minute, none of that childhood torture made me better at anything sith-related, it just gave me crippling trauma that actually impairs my capacity for self-control and incredible violence” and (possibly due to his experiences at Orsis Academy) “oh whack looks like kids learn a lot better and faster when they’re, like, having fun? Whatever ‘fun’ is?”

and anyway by the time he gets to tatooine with orders to “find that stoner jedi and kick his ass”, Maul is pretty annoyed at his master. And when he senses not one, not two, but THREE powerful force-presences on Tatooine, one of which vastly eclipses any other force presence he’s ever felt, and belongs to a nine-year-old slave boy, Maul gets an idea. You know, (he thinks), his master sure would love to get his hands on a force-baby like that. Master Sidious sure would be evilly thrilled to have an extremely powerful nine-year-old delivered directly to his doorstep on coruscant, with the jedi having to do all the heavy lifting of training the kid. Master Sidious would probably want nothing more than to have this kid be taken in by the Jedi, so he can start grooming a new apprentice. 

And Maul, full of spite and an as-yet-undiscovered need to adopt every force-sensitive in sight, decides to deprive Sidious of a potential apprentice. He follows Anakin to Naboo (in this universe, Anakin still wins the podrace, still wins his own freedom), and, after the fighting is over, sees a prime window of opportunity, and kidnaps Anakin right out from under the Jedi’s nose. 

(In this universe, Obi-Wan does not cut Darth Maul in half and dump him down the garbage chute- Maul, unwilling to do his master’s bidding any longer, doesn’t go full out against Qui-Gon, doesn’t kill him, and Obi-Wan doesn’t get that grief-and-rage filled boost that helped him dismember Maul last time. The fight ends, the Jedi are convinced that Maul is dead, and Naboo is freed).

Once Maul has the kid, since he’s a pragmatic guy, he also returns to Tatooine and takes the kid’s mom. Maul doesn’t know how to cook, do laundry, tie shoes, or any of that shit. He doesn’t want to have to PARENT the kid, he just wants to train him. 

Maul has zero money, and also zero subtlety, so he stomps into Watto’s shop, grabs him by the neck, and says “The boy's mother is coming with me. You will disable her slave chip and let her leave unharmed, or I will squeeze your head off.” Watto complies. For Anakin, this is his first real impression of Maul- storming the junk shop and threatening his former master for the freedom of Anakin’s mother.

Maul is determined to do a better job training Anakin than Sidious did training Maul. Because FUCK Sidious. Maul can be a WAY better Sith than Sidious ever allowed him to be. And since Maul is slowly realizing how... unhelpful... the way he was raised was, he’s determined to figure out how to do it better.

So he reads. He reads training manuals, child psychology books, teaching books, studies on motivation and performance, anything he can get his nerdy little hands on. He learns that frightened children don’t perform well. He learns about “trauma”, and how “trauma” makes it hard to control your emotions sometimes. Well, you can’t have THAT in your ultimate sith apprentice. Okay, so no scaring Anakin and no traumatizing him. Maul quickly realizes that literally everything he does frightens Anakin or his mom, and frightening Anakin’s mom also frightens Anakin (cut him some slack, he’s literally never been in a positive relationship, Maul has no model for any behavior other than “evil abuser” and “subservient slave”).

Maul is not an idiot. He knows he’s not doing it right. He’s reluctant to start teaching Anakin ANYTHING until he knows he won’t accidentally damage his precious spite-apprentice. So he mostly ignores the kid while he reads and learns.

He also observes. Specifically, he observes Shmi Skywalker. Somehow, she seems to be able to interact with Anakin without scaring him. She can even tell him what to do without scaring him. She can teach and correct him without scaring him. And she never physically hurts him at all. Maul is kind of blown away- he didn’t even know it was possible to interact with people like that? HOW does she DO it???

So Maul watches and learns. He practices. Shmi helps, guides him, tells him when he messes up and tells him how to do it better. Maul gets a lot better at restraining his murderous urges. Turns out, if you immediately kill everyone who annoys you, it’s hard to ask them for advice after. The other person Maul gets pointers from is C3PO, the protocol droid the kid dragged along. Maul understands 3PO better than he understands Shmi and Anakin. 3PO is a droid. Maul was raised by a droid. Maul knows how to talk with 3PO, whereas talking with Shmi or Anakin feels like wandering around in a fog full of landmines.

So anyway, Maul and 3PO become unlikely friends, and, as Maul, determined to out-parent Sidious in every conceivable way, learns more and more social skills, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal skills, he truly comprehends how fucked up his own childhood was. There’s rage. There’s grief. There’s murderous desire for vengeance. But there’s also Anakin. Who would be scared if Maul smashed the ship or killed random people to vent his anger. Anakin, who needs something called a “positive role model”, who needs to be taught how to use the Force, and who needs the adults around him to have their shit together. There’s also Shmi, who makes him soup and hot chocolate when he’s feeling bad, and tells him off for breaking things, and who helps him get better at being a real person, and who doesn’t seem to want anything from him other than a general expectation of not hurting her or her son. So Maul deals. He grows. He heals, slowly. There’s setbacks, and gains. And somewhere in there, he starts teaching Anakin how to use the Force.

The problem is, Maul learned to access the Force first through fear and anger. Turns out, it’s really hard to teach someone fundamentals of force usage via fear and anger without first having to traumatize them. So right away, Maul hits a barrier. He doesn’t have any clue how to teach Anakin a different way though. He needs help.

But also, FUCK the jedi. NO WAY is Maul asking the Jedi for help, he hates the Jedi. Maul is still a Sith, he’s just a new, better kind of Sith, the kind that trains apprentices who are gonna kick WAY MORE ASS and be HEALTHY WELL-ADJUSTED PEOPLE while doing it (let him dream, ok?). So Maul starts hauling Shmi and Anakin around the galaxy, seeking out any non-Jedi Force-users they can, to learn Force techniques that the Sith didn’t teach Maul.

They spend time with the Guardians on Jedha, with those weird duck-people from that one episode with Jar-Jar’s girlfriend, with some wacky monks on a tiny island in the ass-end of nowhere, and even some time with a long-lost sith cult in a box system in the middle of the Unknown Regions. Maul learns. Anakin learns. Maul uses what he learns from the other force-users, combines it with what he knows, and teaches Anakin even more. The Jedi and the Sith are really the only two groups who really use the force for Big Impressive Things, like telekinesis and lightning and whatnot, so while the other force groups would have a lot to teach them both, they wouldn’t really be able to teach Anakin how to levitate something. And you can’t be the kick-assiest, bestest Sith Apprentice Ever if you can’t levitate shit. So Maul takes takes all these new techniques, like “being calm and chill when you meditate instead of super pissed off” and “using the Force while not being filled with incredible rage” and “mindfulness techniques” and “who knew you could do cool stuff like floating rocks without having to exhaust yourself by hating everything in existence, including yourself” and applies them to the skills and methods he already has. He and Anakin have to do a lot of fumbling and exploring and mistake-making, but they figure it out. And Anakin learns. And he kicks ass.

When Anakin is 11, Maul hauls him off to Ach-To to dig a crystal out of the roots of an ancient tree. He tells Anakin to hold it and meditate, to let his emotions rise around him, to feed them, to pull them through the crystal, let it resonate, let it take on the shape of his strongest feelings. After all, that is how Maul was trained to bleed his crystals. Maul’s pain and fear and anger yielded him red crystals.

Anakin comes out with yellow. Determination, fierce protectiveness, drive, hunger for justice, righteous fury. That is Anakin’s lightsaber.

Anakin grows up, planet-hopping with his Mom and Uncle Maul in a beat-up freighter with under-the-hood enhancements out the ass (Maul ditched the Scimitar right after Tatooine so his master couldn’t instantly track him down, and Maul and Anakin are both huge mechanics nerds and bond over things like “but what if you put ANOTHER PLASMA CORE IN THE ENGINE”, so this ship is, uh, certainly some sort of thing). Anakin grows up learning a hundred different Force traditions- just about every major Force tradition in the Galaxy (except for Jedi), and more than a few obscure ones. He grows up, tinkering with his droid, learning Juyo from Maul and how to sew a button from his mom. He grows up, beholden to two destinies only: “Help me take down Sidious, because he’s an asshole and a shitty Sith Lord” and “do whatever the fuck you want, because you are a Sith and no one gets to tell you what to do” (”except me.” Shmi interrupts. “Sith Lords still have a bedtime.” “Sith Lords still have a bedtime,” Maul amends, having no desire to repeat what happened when he encouraged a ten-year-old Anakin to ignore all the rules on purpose).

And what Anakin wants to do is what he’s always wanted to do- go back to Tatooine and free the slaves. Maul thinks that a big project like that would be an excellent learning opportunity for Anakin. He also wants Anakin to succeed, so he sits him down and talks logistics. How do you free the slaves without hundreds of slave owners detonating their chips when they hear what is happening? How do you keep them free once you do that? How do you get them jobs, clothes, food, houses? What about the ones who want to leave Tatooine? What about the ones who want to stay? And what about the economic upheaval that will happen when you deprive a whole planet of its cheapest source of labor? When Anakin is fourteen, they start planning.

When Anakin is eighteen, they make their move. Anakin, coordinating with Shmi, who returned to Tatooine three years earlier to organize things on the ground (living with a woman named Beru Whitesun, who is a gateway to the Freedom Path network), activates several massive orbital EMP devices, frying every electrical device on the planet, including slave chips. (The EMPs came from a pirate friend of his mom’s, who seems to do whatever she wants as long as she makes him hot chocolate). All over the planet, lights go out, slave chips fry, and radios go silent. And Shmi’s agents get to work. Ordinary citizens all over tatooine grab their rifles and head out. They meet up with others in their settlement, and the teams sweep the area, following a plan devised by Skywalker and Whitesun. They systematically visit every house in every settlement, city, spaceport, and town that is known to house slaves, and tell the slaves to grab their families and most treasured possessions and follow them.

(Tatooine is a sparsely populated planet- you can count the major settlements on two hands. If it weren’t, this would never have worked.)

Not many slaveowners put up much of a resistance- fifty angry masked people pointing guns in your face tend to make you compliant. The only slaveowner who puts up more than a token resistance is Jabba the Hutt. His resistance, however, lasts about thirty seconds, before Anakin cuts off his head.

Maul meets Anakin at Jabba’s palace, where he’s rounding up the last of Jabba’s cronies. 

“No trouble?” Maul asks.

“Nope,” Anakin replies. “You?”

“None.” Maul said. Turns out, it’s like, super easy to take down an entire criminal organization when you can turn up to a meeting of the Hutt family heads, kill them all, and waltz out past all their security forces without breaking a sweat. (Seriously, it’s kind of hilarious how Maul is literally just that good). 

“The slaves here are freed?”

“Yep,” says Anakin. Then frowns. “Hold on...” He senses a presence. Big, hulking, simple, and starving. He can sense that, whatever it is, it hasn’t seen the sunlight or been able to move freely in years. 

So anyway, that’s how Anakin turns up at Mos Espa at first sunrise, riding on the back of Jabba the Hutt’s pet rancor. “Who’s a good girl,” Anakin says, scratching behind her ear nubs. “You are!” And she is a good girl. Padme (”I just think it sounds like a nice name, you know?”) is very good at dispersing angry slaveowners who look like they might start rioting. 

The slaves freed overnight have been gathered together at pre-designated safe zones-mostly warehouses or large buildings that Shmi has been buying up over the years for exactly this purpose.

(The slaves living in remote settlements, at moisture farms and homesteads, didn’t get a visit from the freedom teams. However, Shmi had a plan for them too. She has made overtures to the Tusken tribes. Once she managed to negotiate her way into speaking to one of the leaders without getting killed, she sold them a story, a dream. A revolution. Free the slaves. Transform Tatooine. She doesn’t promise the Tuskens to expel humans from the planet entirely. She promises them equal rights under the law (she also promises the existence of laws in the first place). She promises them the right to raise Banthas, the right to traverse their ancestral lands and the return of sacred sites taken from them, the right to trade, the right to control who passes over their lands. She promises them the right to water and shade. And, she promises them half the seats on the ruling council she plans to set up. And so, on the night the EMPs blow, Tusken raiders visit every homestead on Tatooine (again, there’s only a few hundred, a thousand at most), and kidnap the slaves. Perhaps not the most reassuring experience for enslaved peoples who have been taught their entire lives to fear the Tuskens, and not without reason, but, nevertheless, it is freedom).

As the new day dawns- Tatooine’s first dawn as a free planet- Anakin, Maul, and Shmi know that the easy part is over. Now, they have to house tens of thousands of people currently cooped up in warehouses with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They have to establish and keep iron-tight control over the planet and its settlements, and quash any violent reprisals before they gain momentum. They also have to completely rebuild an economy completely upended by the overnight emancipation. 

However, Shmi’s not the only one who’s been busy for the past few years. While Shmi was on Tatooine, planning a revolution, Anakin and Maul were traversing the galaxy, gathering resources, using the Patented Maul Method (TM)- breaking into the headquarters of powerful organizations and threatening to kill everybody in charge unless they did what they said.

As the second sun rises, ships begin arriving in Tatooine’s orbit. Pop-up housing is dropped onto the outskirts of Tattooine’s settlements, the kind that mining companies use to set up new bases on mineral-rich asteroids. The accommodations are small and sparse, but each family has a kitchen, bathroom, beds, and private space. Huge generators are hooked up to cool the new housing. Anakin knows that the already-existing slave quarters, made of stone with no windows and mostly underground- are already built to keep the occupants cool, but he refuses to make the former slave population live in slave quarters. Some of the freed people are moved into Jabba’s old palace, some into buildings abandoned by rich business owners who fled the planet when they saw what was happening. Food, water, medicine, clothes, books, toys, tools, and shoes are deposited. (the Republic’s equivalent of the FBI had been utterly baffled when Galaxy’s three biggest criminal organizations started moving cargo that looked less like a drug trade and more like a disaster relief mission). 

Anakin walks among the newly freed slaves, reassuring them- yes, you are free. Yes, you will be fed and housed and clothed as long as you need it. Yes, we will try to find your child/husband/wife/mother who was sold years ago. Yes, you can go home, you can do whatever you want.

He also asks for volunteers. And he gets them. Hardly anyone would say no to the chance to work with the Skywalker, who once was a slave like them, but freed himself and returned, who freed the slaves in one night of glory, and appeared at sunrise riding a rancor.

Anakin sends out messengers, all across the planet. “Tatooine is a free world,” they say. “All slaves are hereby freed, by order of the He who Walks in the Sky. Any slaveowners who, by their own free will, turn over their detonators will not be harmed. Any who resist, will be.” Not many resist.

At the end of that first day, as the suns are setting, once the freed peoples of Tatooine are fed, and given water, and sheltered, Maul comes to Anakin.

“I am proud of you.” He says. “You have come into your power, you have mastered yourself, and so have mastered the Force. You have the freedom and the power to do anything you choose. You are no longer my apprentice. Lord Skywalker, you are a true Sith Master.” Anakin pulls him into a hug. He maybe cries a little bit. Maul maybe cries a little bit. Maul maybe also feels mildly annoyed that Anakin is a full head taller than him now.

(Sidious would be truly, utterly offended at Maul’s criteria for Sith-Lord-ness. “THAT’S NOT SITH” he would have said. “THAT’S BARELY EVEN DARK SIDE ADJACENT, YOU ARE DILUTING OUR THOUSAND YEAR HERITAGE-” but Maul wouldn’t care about Sidious’ stupid opinions, anyway).

And Anakin and Shmi get to work. They employ the newly freed people of Tatooine, constructing permanent houses, tearing down slave markets, building critical infrastructure. Anakin pays them more than a living wage, thanks to the extremely deep pockets of Crimson Dawn. He brings in doctors and teachers, and guarantees healthcare and education for all who want it (whenever one of Crimson Dawn’s higher-ups says “wait, why are we dumping massive amounts of money into this one random-ass planet?” Darth Maul just casually sidles up behind them with his lightsaber until they remember that he can literally just show up anywhere, at anytime, and kill them unless they do what he says. If Maul’s busy, he sends 3PO instead- 3PO’s been outfitted with about ten times as much weaponry as is legal, and can be very convincing when he wants to be).

While Anakin works on infrastructure and supporting the freed peoples of Tatooine, and unfucking the economic trainwreck they caused, Shmi and Beru work on the government. They write down a few, very basic rules-Tatooine is to be ruled by a council of people, half of whom will come from the Tusken tribes, all of which shall be selected by fair and free election. All citizens of Tatooine shall have the right to vote in these elections, and the right to vote shall be guaranteed to all- except for those who have ever owned or sold a sentient being. (it was a huge debate in the Lars-Whitesun-Skywalker household, this matter of restricting voting rights. In the end, it was decided that slaveowners, and ONLY slaveowners, were to be the sole exception for universal suffrage). Every citizen of Tatooine is guaranteed access to food, medicine, and water, and has the right to have their grievances addressed by the council.

Shmi works quickly to gather her council- she knows she has to do it fast, to prove to the Tuskens that she is as good as her word. The first elections are chaotic, and perhaps not completely non-violent, but in the end, there is a council of twenty representatives, with Shmi Skywalker representing Mos Espa.

The Council proceeds to have raging- and occasionally violent- debates about the structure of their future government. What rights to guarantee citizens. Should they have a court system? What about a financial system? How are they to guarantee water, food, and medicine to everyone? What even are taxes?

The Rebuilding of Tatooine is long, and hard, and contentious. There are arguments and rage and fighting- the repatriation of traditional Tusken lands is especially fraught. But Shmi promised, and so she makes it happen (Anakin and Padme may have helped too). Maul, for his part, keeps training Anakin, and keeps managing the criminal underworld with a careful balance of death threats and actual death, but mostly stays out of the way of Anakin’s Senior Project. 

Soon, Anakin is able to re-purpose the pop-up housing, since most people have moved into traditional Tatooine-built homes, suited to the environment. The newly restructured economy is tentatively taking its first steps, and Tatooine’s baby government is becoming less and less dependent on intergalactic criminal funding (partially thanks to Anakin confiscating the entirety of Jabba’s personal fortune). He spends a lot of time in Council meetings, trying not to scream at people while also trying to stop Padme from eating them. The Council debates what is next for Tatooine, and eventually, they vote to petition the Republic for membership. Tatooinians, as a people, including the Tuskens, are fiercely independant, but, as Shmi points out, joining the Republic would guarantee them to certain things like humanitarian aid, a voice in decisions affecting interplanetary trade routes and taxation, legal legitimacy and the right to call on the Republic for aid should their sovereignty ever be threatened. Most importantly, slavery is illegal on all Republic planets, which means that if any slave-owning organizations ever pushed in on Tatooine, there would be another (much better funded) organization to call on to help quash it. 

The Republic requires that a petitioning planet’s head of state visit the Senate on Coruscant to ask the Senate for entry into the Republic. The Council, grumbling, re-jiggers their constitution to allow for a “chief councilor”, and promptly elect Anakin to the position (”Fuck me,”) Anakin says. Maul laughs at him, then sobers and tells him to be careful on Coruscant (”My former master lives there.” he says. “Mind your shields, and do not let him know your true nature. You are not yet ready to take him on, and you have your planet and your people to think of.” “Yes, Uncle Maul.” Anakin says. “I will be careful.”).

Anakin shows up in the Galactic Senate, sandy robes, uncombed hair, and half smirk on his face. “I am Anakin Skywalker, free person of Tatooine,” he says. He presents the case for Tatooine’s admittance to the Republic in a booming, confident voice, drawing on his inner strength- his righteous anger and determination to ensure his people’s future- to keep his voice from wavering.

There are grumbles. Muttering. No Senator wants to be the one to blatantly say “no”- it’s a sort of miracle story, Tatooine, the little planet that rose up and threw of the shackles of slavery and now wants to join the Republic- the exact sort of mythos that the Republic itself is built on. It’s bad PR to vote against that little planet. But at the same time, Tatooine is a sandy, useless dustball that’ll need fiscal support from the Senate, with nothing to offer in terms of economic value. Many Senators are debating with themselves, not whether or not to say “no”, but how to vote “no” without losing ten points in approval ratings.

Until the Senator from Naboo, a diminutive woman who somehow reminds Anakin of his rancor, stands up. She gives an impassioned, off-the-cuff speech, reminding the Senate of how her own planet had thrown off the shackles of oppression not ten years ago, how the Republic was founded by planets like Tatooine, and how, most importantly, they had no legal basis to deny them entry, and if the Senate voted no, Naboo’s lawyers would litigate the issue six ways from taungsday- which, due to a clause in the Senate’s constitution that forbade them from passing legislation while the issue of a planet’s admittance to the Republic was on the floor, would effectively paralyze the Senate until the courts made a ruling. And, as Padme made sure to emphasize, if the court’s decision was not favorable, she would appeal. She could feasibly stop the Senate from doing anything for years, if necessary.

Tatooine is admitted to the Republic.

“Two Senators,” Anakin demands. “In order for my people to be fairly represented, my planet requires two Senators.” When complaints are made, Jar-Jar Binks threatens to explain the complicated dynamics of a planet attempting to grapple with a colonial past. He doesn’t have to. Tatooine gets its two Senators.

Anakin meets with Senator Amidala in her office, to thank her.

“Of course,” she said. “I remember a little boy who helped free my planet- how could I not help you when you needed it?”

“Uhh, thanks, yeah, that’s, really nice of you. Like your hair. Which is nice. In an objective sort of way,” Anakin says, because there is no universe in which Anakin is not a complete idiot in front of Padme. “I named my rancor after you,” he blurts.

Before Anakin is scheduled to leave Coruscant, the Jedi send a knight to scope out the new planetary leader. Obi-Wan Kenobi shows up at Anakin’s hotel room, and goes “Oh. It’s.... you.” 

“Obi-Wan!” Anakin grins. He only knew him for about two days when he was nine, but he still greets him like an old friend, like a brother. They fall into easy, teasing conversation. “I thought you were dead, I confess, after you disappeared from Naboo,” Obi-Wan admits. “I am truly sorry that I was unable to fulfill Qui-Gon’s promise to train you as a Jedi Knight.”

“That’s ok,” Anakin waves his hand dismissively. “I got trained as a Sith instead.” Then he freezes. Oops. He was not supposed to say that. Maul would be so disappointed in him.

“Beg pardon?” Obi-Wan says.

“I, uhh, got trained, as a, uh, sift...er? Instead? A sand sifter? I sift sand for a living?”

“You said Sith.”

“No I didn’t, I definitely said sift.”

“No, you said Sith.”

“I definitely did not.”

Anakin changes the subject, and Obi-Wan lets it drop. He’ll tell the Council, of course, but he honestly cannot fathom the concept of this kid being a Sith. He senses nothing Dark about him- well, at least no more dark than is present in any sentient. Besides, it’s not like there are any Sith Lords around anymore, ever since he killed Maul (luckily, Obi-Wan doesn’t see the picture in Anakin’s wallet, a candid shot 3PO took in the cockpit of their family’s ship. Fifteen-year-old Anakin, at the controls, hyperbrake still on with his hands on the hyperdrive lever, Maul, standing behind him, hands gripping Anakin’s seat and face distorted half-way through a panic-induced rant about flight safety, and Shmi, sitting in the co-pilot’s seat, laughter on her face and knitting needles in her hands).

Anakin contacts his mother, tells her the good news. The Council, moving with alacrity, elects Tatooine’s first Senators. And four days later, one year after the Dawn of Freedom, Senator Shmi Skywalker and Senator Ooutrigh (a Tusken warrior) of Tatooine arrive on Coruscant and address the Senate for the first time. 

Of course, while Anakin has been growing up, planning for Tatooine’s future, and annoying the shit out of Maul, Palpatine’s own plans have continued apace. Barely four months after Tatooine is admitted to the Republic, Obi-Wan finds himself in an arena on Geonosis. The battle goes much differently this time, partially due to the fact that Anakin has retrofitted the cargo bay of his family’s ship to house Padme (the rancor, not the Senator), and descends onto the Arena sands just as Yoda and the Clone Troops arrive, and deposits both Padme’s (the rancor, and the Senator) into the melee. 

“Hi, Obi-Wan!” Anakin calls, whipping out his lightsaber to deflect the hail of blaster bolts (Maul would disapprove, but Maul isn’t here, he’s ten clicks away, chasing down the Jedi dropout Sidious replaced him with). 

“Anakin, what the FUCK” Obi-Wan says, staring at Chief Councilor Anakin Skywalker of Tatooine, riding a rancor and swinging an honest-to-Force yellow lightsaber. 

“Master Yoda, what the FUCK” Anakin says, later, after the battle is over, when he finally gets Yoda to answer his questions about the clone troopers. “You found out about an entire-ass army of slave child soldiers commissioned AND PAID FOR by one of your own council members, and your reaction is ‘oh thank goodness, now we have an army?’ What the FUCK is WRONG with you?!” Yoda tries to explain to Councilor Skywalker that the situation was dire, they’d had no choice, but Councilor Skywalker just keeps repeating “AN ARMY OF SLAVE CHILD SOLDIERS” at him. “No choice, we had,” Yoda says yet again.

“BULLSHIT, you had no choice!” Anakin yells. “You could have chosen to not use the entire army of slave child soldiers that you legally own!”

“Let Kenobi and the others die, you would have? Hmm?”

“PROBABLY, YEAH!” Anakin hollers (”Thanks,” mutters Obi-Wan). “Sometimes the choices you have all really suck, but you still have to make them! You can’t just pretend you didn’t have any options, you HAD OPTIONS, and you chose the one that involved using a SLAVE ARMY OF CHILD SOLDIERS.” He gestures behind him to the battlefield, where clone troopers and medics are moving amongst the bodies, white and red stark against the sand, tallying their dead brothers.

Yoda shakes his head. “emotional, you are, young Skywalker.” he said. “Cloud your judgement, your feelings do.” 

“Yeah, I’m fucking emotional!” Anakin practically screams. “I have personal beef with slavery, so excuse me if I feel emotions about it. Your problem is that you’re able to use an ARMY OF SLAVE CHILD SOLDIERS and not feel bad about it! Your lack of emotions is clouding YOUR judgement!” He stomps off. Yoda shakes his head. Skywalker is young, and too close to the issue of slavery to really have perspective on it. He does not understand. It was a great loss to the Jedi Order when the Council rejected him, all those years ago- if he had been trained as a Jedi, he would have learned to put aside his emotions about slavery, and he would have understood why it was necessary now. If Anakin could have heard what Yoda was thinking, he would have turned right back around, picked Yoda up, and punted him like a limmie ball.

Anakin and Maul return to Tatooine. Maul offers to assassinate the entire Jedi Council, but Anakin says no. He’s still fuming about his conversation with Yoda. He knows he gets emotional. He knows that Yoda isn’t entirely wrong- he knows he lets his emotions cloud his judgement sometimes. It’s something he’s worked hard on, over the years, him and Maul. How to take a step back from the emotions howling in your head, and how to view the situation without them getting in the way. And what kinds of situations you should let your emotions guide you. Anakin thinks he’s damn well entitled to strong emotions about slavery. 

Short of declaring war on the entire Jedi Order, Anakin doesn’t know what to do about the Republic’s slave army. The Tatooine Council releases a public condemnation of it, explicitly calling it slavery and calling for the clones to be freed. The Council seriously debates joining the Separatists, until Padme (the Senator, not the Rancor) and Shmi look in-depth at the Separatist Council, which is buried deep in the pockets of corporate interests. Shmi files a lawsuit, under the Republic’s anti-slavery legislation, suing for the freedom of the clones. It’s a battle of miserable inches, and meanwhile, the war rages.

With Dooku gone, Sidious’s only means of controlling the Separatists is through Grievous and Ventress, both of whom are loose cannons whose loyalty (and competence) he seriously doubts. It’s frustrating for him, and not necessarily better for the Jedi and their army (of slave child soldiers). Sidious needs to keep the war in careful balance, neither side gaining too much ground, to draw it out and grind the Jedi down and manipulate their public image until he can heap all the blame on them. Without Dooku to pass down his orders, he has no way of keeping a firm check on the Separatist Council, and the Seps are in serious danger of completely overrunning the Republic. The droid army is fifty times as many as the clones, and the Separatists have the Trade Federation, the Banking Clans, and all of the major military tech corporations on their side. Honestly, it’s a testament to the Jedi and the Clone Army that they haven’t lost the war in the first month.

Speaking of that first month, Anakin doesn’t spend long on uninvolved in the war. Scant weeks after Geonosis, the Separatist Army threatens to roll right over Tatooine on their way to gaining control of the Outer Rim Hyperlanes. Tatooine has no army, doesn’t even have a police force. It has no fleet, no orbital defenses, and the droid army headed their way has ten times more droids than there are guns on the planet. The Council faces a choice. Ask the Republic to send in the GAR to defend them- ask for an army of slaves to be sent to die on Tatooine, to stain the sand with enslaved blood so soon after Tatooine clawed her way to freedom, or do nothing, and almost certainly ensure the annihilation of Tatooine and her people. To die, or to live by the blood of slaves who died for you. It’s not a pretty choice.

In the end, the choice is taken away from them (and perhaps it’s a kindness, that they weren’t forced to choose, perhaps it’s the coward’s way out, but it is what it is). A GAR cruiser shows up in orbit, and the Council is hailed by a man identifying himself as Captain Rex, commanding officer of the 501st legion of the GAR.

“The Republic sent you here?” Anakin asks, incredulously. 

“Well, not exactly.” Captain Rex hedges. “The 501st is due for leave on Kamino, but the hyperdrive was making funny noises, so we decided to stop off in the nearest Republic system to check it out.” Rex shrugs. “If a bunch of tinnies just so happen to show up, it’s not like we’ll just sit back and watch.”

“Why are you doing this?” Anakin asks the clone captain, once they’ve got him on planet and in the council room. He’s got a lump in his throat, and his eyes are stinging. The 501st has no Jedi on board, no natborn officers, and no orders to go to Tatooine. Rex and the 501st showed up here of their own free will. Because they wanted to. To defend Tatooine.

“Geonosis.” Rex says. “On Geonosis, you saved the lives of over two hundred of us. Including me. We couldn’t stand by and let your planet fall to the Separatists, Councilor Skywalker.”

After the battle, during the cleanup, when Tatooinians are passing through the rows of injured, giving out water- giving out life- Rex tells Anakin the other reason.

“We all know about Tatooine, sir.” He says, quietly. “A bunch of slaves who stood up and said “no,” and took their freedom.” He shrugs. “Stories like that, it gives us hope. For the future.” He fixes Anakin with a stare. “If we let that hope die, we die too. Tatooine cannot fall.”

That is the first time Anakin and Rex fight together. Somehow, when the 501st leaves Tatooine, Anakin goes with them- officially, as a consultant/observer, appointed at the request of Senator Skywalker to observe the GAR and monitor the health and wellbeing of the troopers. Unofficially, Anakin and Rex become a lethal team, making the 501st one of the most effective legions in the Galaxy. Anakin isn’t dumb. He knows he’s being a massive hypocrite, running around with an army of slave child soldiers. Rex, however, insists that it’s different.

“First of all, we asked you to come with us.” he says. “Second of all, it’s not like you staying behind would have made any difference in our situation. And besides, scrapping clankers isn’t the only reason I asked you to come with us.” Anakin raises an eyebrow.

And Rex introduces Anakin to his older brother, Cody, commander of the 212th (Anakin is happy to see Obi-Wan again, but appalled to meet Obi-Wan’s fourteen-year-old togruta padawan, because why would you put a CHILD in a warzone, in a COMMAND POSITION). And Cody brings Anakin in on The Plan. The clones will not remain slaves forever, and they will not wait for some elusive promise of gratitude after the war is over. They will take their freedom, and they will defend their own, and they’re asking Anakin, who freed the slaves of Tatooine, to help them do it. 

“So basically, you want me on as a consultant.”

“Basically, yeah.” Cody says. “And also as a guy with a lightsaber who can leap fifty feet into the air and dodge blaster bolts. Those are always handy to have around.”

So Anakin and Rex and Cody, and Cody’s small circle of commanders, lay their plans. And in the meantime, there’s a war to fight. Shmi’s still on Tatooine, but Maul comes with Anakin and the 501st. He and Rex get along like a house on fire, but you wouldn’t know it from watching them- they do nothing but argue and needle each other. Rex sarcastically calls Maul “Commander Maul” because it pisses him off so much, and it catches on with the whole legion. Maul constantly mutters about murdering and/or poisoning Rex.

But after Ventress almost chokes Rex to death, and breaks into his mind to make him do her bidding, Maul doesn’t leave Rex alone for a week, and clutches his hand tightly in the medbay. Rex doesn’t mention it, so neither does Anakin. 

Padme, on the other hand, makes no secret of how much she loves Rex (the Rancor, not the Senator, though she likes him too). Padme seems to have concluded that Rex is some sort of long-lost hatchling, and can be seen chasing Rex down the hangar bay, trying to corral him into the nest she’s constructed in the corner reserved for her. Rex gets used to surprise cuddles from a massive predator.

The Jedi Council are at their wit’s end with Skywalker, but their hands are full and honestly, he’s a benefit to the war effort, so they assign Obi-Wan to “supervise” the legion, and leave them to it. Obi-Wan and Anakin strike up a deep friendship, unfettered by the baggage that comes with being master and padawan. Obi-Wan finds himself having serious questions about the Jedi’s role in the war, since Anakin is not at all shy about challenging him on the whole “slave army of child soldiers” thing. Obi-Wan is also, quite frankly, too busy to effectively teach a padawan, and by this point, he knows that Anakin’s had some sort of Force training. He’s fought beside him enough to be confident in his skills, and often sends Ahsoka on extended missions with the 501st, and explicitly begs Anakin to help him fill in the gaps in her training. Anakin obliges enthusiastically. 

Of course, Maul helps train her too. Obi-Wan shows up on the Resolute one day to pick her up, and asks how her training’s going. 

“Great!” She says. “Skyguy’s weird uncle is teaching me jar’kai-”

“Anakin has an uncle?” Obi-Wan asks, surprised. “Who knows jar’kai?”

And so Obi-Wan and Maul meet once again. And Obi-Wan is just absolutely pole-axed. 

“Darth Maul?” He splutters. “Is your uncle?” 

“Not biologically,” Anakin shrugs. “He practically raised me, along with my mom. He taught me everything I know about lightsabers and the Force.”

“...”

“...you did say Sith, Anakin, you bastard, sand-sifting MY ASS-”

“Oh, it’s you.” Maul says. “I won’t kill you, but only because Anakin likes you.” Obi-Wan throws up his hands.

Somehow, Obi-Wan and Maul come to an understanding. Somehow, Obi-Wan doesn’t turn him over to the council. 

At one point, a giant of a zabrak, easily eight feet tall, with skin a poisonous yellow, shows up, claiming that Maul is his brother, and that he’s here to bring him home to Dathomir. Maul takes one look at Savage and goes “Fuck that”. “I will train you in the ways of the Force,” he says. “I can show you power like you’ve never wielded before.” he says. “You shall be a great and feared Sith Lord,” he says. “Have some hot chocolate, you look cold,” he says. “Put on a sweater.” Savage, slightly bemused, comes to terms with the fact that he’s just been adopted.

It’s Maul who figures it out, of course. How could he not? He was raised by Sidious. He knows how devious he is, how his plans have layers upon layers, backups upon backups, contingencies stacked from here to the Outer Rim. Once Sidious moves, you can be sure that any reasonable outcome will be in his favor, because he has completely engineered the situation before you were even aware it existed.

The Sith caused the war and are playing both sides. The Sith caused the clones to be commissioned (these things are trivially easy to figure out, if you’re paying attention). The Sith want the Jedi dead.

“Contingencies,” Maul mutters. “It’s always a trap, and there’s always contingencies.”

When he finds the chip in Rex’s head, he shakes with rage and refuses to talk to anyone, fearing, for the first time in years, that he will lose control and hurt someone he loves. It is Rex who talks him down, who manages to get close to him, who embraces him and lets him cry on his shoulder, then scream and rage and punch the walls. When Maul is able to explain, Rex has to choke back his own terrified, horrified sobs. He holds them back, and calmly looks at Maul and says “What are you going to do about it?”

The surgery, they discover, is simple enough. An astromech can do it in two minutes (C2PO can do it in seventy seconds, and Artoo can’t stand it). When Anakin is told, he goes quiet for a minute, and when he looks back up, it is not Anakin, Rex’s friend, Maul’s kid, who is sitting at the table in the briefing room. It is He Who Walks in the Sky, Huttslayer, Breaker of Chains, who looks back at them. Anakin Skywalker has always wanted nothing more than to free all the slaves. And Anakin Skywalker’s destiny has always been to do what he wanted.

They tell Cody. They modify their plans. They quietly contact medics throughout the GAR, and Artoo quietly sends the details to every military astromech he trusts. When the army is safe from Sidious’ control, Anakin, Rex, and Maul conspire to lure him off of Coruscant. Maul takes over Mandalore, exiling the duchess and announcing a New Sith Empire. Sidious shows up, declaring that Maul has become a rival, disowning his former apprentice and attacking him, with intent to kill. Savage loses an arm. Maul almost loses his life. But as he lies on the ground at Sidious’s feet, arms trembling with the effort of holding the parry keeping Sidious’ saber from his throat, he hears “We’ve got the face shot! Go, go go!” in his earpiece. Gunfire, real slugthrowers, difficult to block with a saber, erupts around him. C3PO and his arsenal, along with Fives, Jesse, and Echo, the 501st’s best ARC troopers, open fire on Sidious. The Sith is forced to back away, raising a hand to stop the bullets in midair. Maul leaps to his feet, and Anakin joins him, lightsaber drawn. 

The fight is quick, but brutal. Maul’s hands threaten to tremble with terror, facing down the horror of his childhood, the monster whose treatment of him is woven fundamentally into his psyche, whose shadow has haunted Maul all his life, and still invades his dreams. But he reaches out to his family, to Rex, beside him, steady, full of faith in him, to Anakin, a blazing sun of love and anger, a shield of raw power, and to Shmi, all the way in her Senate offices on Coruscant, cool and calm and soothing like a desert spring as ever-present as the stars. His hands do not tremble. He raises his lightsaber against his master, beside the blade of his son. Together, they beat the Sith Lord back. Anakin binds the Sith’s blade, knees him in the ribs, and while Sidious is thus occupied, Maul cuts his head off.

“You were a terrible parent,” he pants, and spits on the corpse. Then, he collapses, and Rex is there to catch him, and Maul clings to him and shakes, and cries. Anakin reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder, and Rex pulls him in with a look, and together, they surround Maul, a bulwark against the rest of the world, a safe circle for him to fall apart for a little bit. At some point, one of them unstraps the small camera that Maul had been wearing on his chest. Ahsoka has, at that point, already sent the footage to every major news office on Coruscant.

That evening, plastered all over the galactic news, is a video of the Chancellor himself, showing up on a neutral world and attacking its sovereign leader, wielding red lightsabers of all things. And it’s obviously the Chancellor; there’s a clear shot of his face when he knocks Mandalore’s ruler to the ground and the camera gets a good view right up into his hood.

It’s a massive scandal. One tabloid shows the footage with a little counter in the corner, counting up every treaty and galactic law that Palpatine violates onscreen. The only thing that saves Palpatine from impeachment and arrest is the fact that he’s already dead. Inquiries are launched, investigators are sanctioned, documents and hard drives and testimony are subpoena’ed. Padme (the Senator, not the Rancor), spearheads the investigative committee, and within a month, they’ve uncovered decades worth of bribes, backroom deals, contracts with droid manufacturers, clear evidence of Palpatine authorizing Republic funds for weaponry that went straight to the Separatists, and even communication records between the Chancellor and the two military leaders of the Separatists. Grievous and Ventress go into hiding (the Tales of Grievous and Ventress, unlikely buddies forced on an intergalactic road trip on the run from the cops, is a story for a different absurdly long post at 3am). The Separatists break down in chaos, and the war grinds to a halt. In the middle of all the political hurricane, Cody enacts his plan, and the entire GAR simultaneously deserts, and fucks directly off to Tatooine. This ignites another scandal, with Senators calling for Tatooine’s expulsion from the Republic. Shmi stands in her Senate Pod, hands tucked into her roughspun sleeves, listening attentively while Senator Burtoni of Kamino accuses her of theft.

“If Tatooine does not return the stolen military assets, the Senate may sanction the use of force!” the Senator from Ryloth threatens.

“Pardon me,” Shmi says, “May I ask what army the Senate is planning sending to invade Tatooine? I was under the impression that the only Republic army was already there.” There’s a bit of an awkward silence.

In the middle of the shitstorm, before Shmi is arrested and Anakin declared an enemy of the state, Shmi’s lawsuit finally receives a ruling. And just like that, the clones are legally free. And the judge orders the Senate to pay reparations. Anakin cackles with glee when he hears. 

Rex and Cody, with the full support of the people of Tatooine, begin the long, hard, work of resettling their brothers and building a life for the vod’e. Shmi files a lawsuit against the Zygerrian Empire. Savage receives a new arm, courtesy of Anakin, who may or may not have added a few extra utilities to it. Ahsoka is knighted, and controversially invites Anakin to be present at the ceremony, along with Obi-Wan. Maul admits, very quietly and where only Rex can hear, that he doesn’t actually want to poison him. “I know,” Rex says, smiling at him. Anakin, meanwhile, finally marries Padme, the love of his life (the Senator, not the Rancor).

And in Mos Eisly, there is a stone slab, pulled from a crumbled wall and stuck upright in the ground in the middle of the square. No one knows who put it there, but someone carved fifty-seven names into the stone. The fifty-seven names of the clone troopers who died defending Tatooine from the Separatist army, at the beginning of the war. The last slaves to spill their blood on the sands of Tatooine.

#maul adopts anakin #and invents a new kind of sith #which is almost nothing like the old kind of sith #just co-opts the name really #rex/maul #kinda? it wasn't on purpose it just happened #my writing #maulusque's writing #might slap this up on ao3 later #we'll see

[kim-lexie]

true beauty.

THIS DRAMA WAS UN-EXPECTANT. HILARIOUS. CUTE. AND PRECIOUS. we got cha eunwoo, our bae. with our newest bestest boy, hwang in-yeop. and our queen, mun ka-young. what else would one need in a drama?! i was excited when they announced the creation of this drama, because like so many of us i love the webtoon. that is overlooking the faults of the basis of the theme with shallow standards of beauty, it is great. and i love our characters. i especially love how the writers of the drama utilized the great structures of the webtoon’s characters and created another world. i rate it a 10 out of 10.

we follow our leading lady im ju-kyung as she overcomes bullying at her old school for being ‘ugly’. she was cast out and a ‘dumpling runner’, running around for the group of bullies. she finds a passion for makeup and masters it, becoming a new person with a ‘new face’ after putting it on. she starts life at a new school with her new face. she stumbles into an old place of comfort without her new face, the comic book store, and runs into the school prince, lee suho. this ensues with a bout of lying; unsuccessfully, because suho knows that she is the same im ju-kyung that started at his school. he protects her secret, and it leads their relationship to grow closer. we follow them through their years at high school, as she hides her face and later hiding their relationship from their classmates. this drama continues to follow them through their young adult years. 

now on to the spoilers…

overall, once again i must always state that i don’t love it when they take this shallow perspective and over dramatize the conventional aspects of beauty. im ju-kyung, who is supposedly not conventionally beautiful and they dramatize her redness and pimples, etc. she does all these wild things to hide her true identity from those around her at school. thankfully the writers did not try to pull that ‘oh my goodness, i didn’t know that was you under the makeup’ game because our suho is not a shallow cookie and looks below the surface. because that game is ridiculous and i would have died. i am thankful the ending that this drama took, because i was nervous especially at the start that it was going to go the duration of the show with no-one knowing her true face, like the webtoon. thankfully we had a character revelation unfortunately not on her own timing. but she had grown as a person and had a team of people behind her allowing her to shine and overcome. we love character development. it’s great. it makes my heart happy. we started the drama with her completely swallowed whole by the perception that she wanted to portray to those around her, not showing her true beauty. because she was a beautiful person who wanted to protect those around her, and once she let go of this facade and mask she was able to fully be the person she was destined to be.

i loved suho’s character in this. he had so many layers and i love that they didn’t make it like the webtoon in this aspect. i love how their relationship started in the comic store and ended there. he grew so much, and became livelier because he knew im ju-kyung. his character was so stoic and overcome with sadness at the start. his best friend committed suicide and he blamed himself for this, which was completely out of his control. im ju-kyung showed him that it was not his fault and they came to protect one another. also love how the writers had him pursue music producing at the end, and even produced for seo-jun’s debut. he was such a great son, after him and his father finally reconnected and then he suffered a stroke, crazy! suho went to the states to care for his father. definitely lost in this, he broke up with ju-kyung as to not hold her back, which was silly and even though he was across the world they could have made it work. they’d been through so much worse, but that’s for another drama universe.

han seo-jun our brooding character with a light personality just beneath the surface. i loved seeing his character at home and with his crew, compared to walking through the school halls. (hello, ‘okey dokey yo’). his character always fiercely protected those around him and i just love seo-jun. i love that he came to pursue his career as an idol, and ended up debuting at the end. he worked so hard and deserved the world and more. and i have to say i hate the second male lead dramas, because they break my heart. he changed so much because im ju-kyung’s character grew him and challenged him in new ways. i knew seo-jun would not get the girl. i knew this from the start. did that stop me from loving his character? no. no, it didn’t. did it stop me from cheering for him, even though i loved suho? no. so who ends up heartbroken in the end with him? me. i do. so here i am weeks after the finale, thinking about how seo-jun told ju-kyung that suho was leaving for the states to  send her running after another guy, and ultimately bringing the two of them together. thinking about all those years suho was in the states, when seo-jun treasured their friendship and was with her quietly supporting her in her dreams, for her to ultimately leave for suho. sad. that’s what it is, the definition of sadness. and goodness gracious where is my seo-jun? i will love you and treasure you honey. you do not need ju-kyung, i got you boo.

i must add that hwang in-yeop can show up in my life any day, and i will graciously stop everything and marry this man. i love all of his dramas thus far, his character from the interviews i’ve seen, i love him. he is a favorite. i am expectant for the upcoming dramas he will surely steal the show in.  

the friendship between seo-jun and suho was so multifaceted. i love how we saw how their relationship was before when they were a trio, and then the brokenness when seo-jun blamed suho, to then seeing them come together because they realized they both cut one another off when they should have leaned on one another instead. it was sweet and i loved their bromance moments. they truly stole the show away. it was hilarious and fun with them together. and i appreciate that the relationship between suho and ju-kyung didn’t break the two apart in the end.  

i need to make note how much i love im ju-kyung’s family. like her siblings were iconic. her sister im hee-kyung and her relationship with eui-sik, the homeroom teacher. ICONIC. and im ju-young, her brother, and his precious attempts at winning seojun’s sister’s heart. PRECIOUS. i would 10 out of 10 watch a spin off with the focus on these characters. i loved when ju-kyung’s mom realized all the trauma that her daughter endured how she went to mending the broken pieces to rebuild their relationship. and i love how sweet her dad was, always encouraging her dreams. and i love how they all wanted the best for her, and supported her dreams of becoming a makeup artist. 

i am so sad that whenever we get a great friendship between our leading ladies they end up in awful relations at some point in the drama. our kang soo-jin and im ju-kyung were the best of friends. she even found out about ju-kyung’s secret and protected her to get back to the tent when they were on the trip. and then when ju-kyung started to date suho, soo-jin got everything twisted. i appreciate how suho let her know that no matter the situation he would not have ended up with her, because he didn’t see her in that way. and i loved the seo-jun put her in her place and confronted her for posting the photos of im ju-kyung online. i am thankful that we had the revelation for soo-jin’s character and came back to apologize to ju-kyung in the end. it was sweet and genuine. she came to see why she was like the way she was, grew from it, and apologized for her past behaviors. 

i love how suho and ju-kyung’s world’s connected. from the comic book store, to high school, to her sister working at his father’s music agency. it was complete destiny that they ended up together. i love a good ‘it is destiny, it was meant to be'. 

the webtoon drama inception was REAL. i loved that they added those little easter eggs throughout the drama with the little connections to ‘extraordinary you’. i loved it. 

favorite moments. 

the flashback comic book store scenes. 

the games at the camping trip.

roar...like any and all instances of this. precious. 

ju-kyung confessing that she liked suho to seo-jun, and crushing my team seojun heart.

suho and ju-kyung’s first kiss.

suho daring to hand ju-kyung a cup in the elevator. ㅋㅋㅋ

seojun and suho fighting over making the best dumplings at ju-kyung’s house.

seojun showing up to help his sister, and im ju-young getting so excited that han seojun came to save the day. 

im ju-kyung sticking up for herself against her new and old school bullies. like the legit fist fight and then the one when she stood up for suho. when they came for her man she was like ‘heck no, not today honey’.

seojun and suho at the hospital and having to care for each other to complete daily tasks. really brought them together again. > also this accident was super dramatic. but we love that everything was chill in the end. 

im ju-young being traumatized by his eldest sister kissing her boyfriend, and then encouraging ju-kyung and suho to kiss.

tteokbokki between seo-jun and ju-kyung.

‘okey dokey yo’...ICONIC to say the least. 

the ost.

the ost did not disappoint. we even got cha eunwoo and hwang in-yeop tracks! here are my top favorites including the beautiful cover renditions:

‘call me maybe’ by SAya

‘i’m in the mood’ for dancing by yuju

‘starlight’ by chani

‘love so fine’ by cha eunwoo

‘flowerpot’ originally by alex, covered by hwang in-yeop

‘it starts today’ by hwang in-yeop

‘how do you do’ by chani

‘to you my light’ originally by maktub and lee raon, covered by hwang in-yeop.

#true beauty #여신강림 #mun ka young #im jukyung #cha eun woo #lee suho #hwang in yeop #han seojun #park yoo na #kang soo jin #tvN #drama #kdrama #korean drama #2020 #best drama #review #rewind #roar #team suho #team seojun

[triggerthreestrikes]

I need to get this all out Because it’s been bother me WAY too much. here’s some rants on 3/4 of the syndicate members. (The CHARACTERS. These are for the CHARACTERS!)

C!Nikki: I’ve wanted to talk about her and her irrational hatred for Tommy for quite some time. She projects everything negative about Wilbur onto him because she can’t FATHOM that her bestest fwend went off the rails and blew her home to hell. It must’ve been Tommy’s fault! Tommy drove him to it somehow! Tommy can’t leave the discs alone! It’s always Tommy’s fault somehow with her. And when she finally forced to confront her monstrous behavior with news that Tommy was BEATEN TO DEATH, she laughs it off. She got what she wanted! But he can’t REALLY be dead, I mean, to her he must be this undying PLAUGE on her life and the server. Someday I hope she gets shown a mirror to what the syndicate is: a secret police for a tyrant who destroys people who they don’t like. people who cannot fight back. The syndicate is what she has convinced herself Tommy is: A plague on the server.

C!Techno: words cannot describe how much I loathe this self righteous jackass. (Once again, Let’s be clear, this is the CHARACTER not the YOUTUBER. Yt!techno ily precious baby.) This pseudo intellectual psychopath has convinced himself that becoming a secret police and forcing your ideals on the very innocents you claim to protect seems awfully government like. “What would you need 2 nukes for self defense for?” motherfucker, YOU. He’s scared of YOU

C!Philza: Hate, let me tell you about how much I’ve come to hate you since the time of Doomsday. There are 387 hundred thousand miles of wafer thin circuit boards in the data center near my apartment, and if the word hate was engraved on every nanoangstrom of every one of those miles it would not equal one one billionth of the amount of hatred I feel for this piss poor father figure. (Love cc!Philza, kind soul too nice for this world.) This piece of garbage thinks that instead of giving guidance to the young, inexperienced president who asks you for it means set up a house and do Jack. Then get pissy when your best fwen (Committed war cwimes UWU) is hunted by the hurt and confused president. Solution? Blow the country to bedrock! And throw in killing the ghost of your son’s pet too! But don’t worry, because he’s not the ghost of your son, he’s just a “doll!” a “doll” WITH SENTIENCE AND A NEED FOR LOVE AND COMPANIONSHIP YOU SENILE WINGED BEAST. And oh poor you! Your grandson rummaged through your house looking for your WANTED MURDERER best friend. You are thousands of years old. why are you acting like you’re five. that is not a good reason to disown your grandson who just lost his father AND had his adoptive father MISS HIS ADOPTION. The best part is? When he comes to your doorstep looking to make amends? Your first instinct is kill on sight. News flash big bird relationships are a two way street. it is not fundy’s job to make amends to a grandfather that took him fishing once. You need to work with him. Don’t get me started on his recent interactions with TUBBO. “You’ve learned your lesson, you’ve really reformed.” motherfucker, what lesson?? that if you step out of line I’ll blow up everything you care about? That he should be afraid of you? This poor kid is afraid of EVERYONE outside of those living in snowchester and Tommy. (Ghostbur too but he’s harmless bb) And when he gets taken to meet a child that his adoptive son is raising, he almost gets his grandchild to kill his cousin.

#C!phil negativity #c!phil negativity #c!phil ultra negativity #c!nikki negativity #c!nikki critical #c!techno critical

[goldenhypen]

oml i completely forgot i was gonna do this so here i am before i forget again sksjs

heeseung -> love at first sight. claimed since day one. don't tell him i constantly got him mixed up with jake tho 😔💔 jsksjs no but fr idk what it was about him that drew me to him above the others and i still have no idea what it is but i adored him from the very start and that hasn't changed yet! c:

jay -> i feel like he was one of the only ones i could confidently pick out above the rest for the longest time jsksjs i thought he looked like the intimidating member who nobody would mess with but- well... 🤡 poor jay sksjjs i love how unintentionally funny he is though.

jake -> i kept getting him mixed up with heeseung and i ksjsjs felt so bad but his cute smile always stood out to me. 🥺 i don't really remember what my exact first impression of him was but he's now one of my permanent bias wreckers so-

sunghoon -> ah yes, i'd heard from my friend who loves enha about this majestic human on ice. 😌✨ all she had to do was send me like two vids of his skating performances and my jaw was on the floor istg. i was so impressed by him and i... kept getting him mixed up with jungwon and occasionally sunoo 😭 iM SORRY HOON ILY !! i love how lowkey and nonchalant his humor is though like he just says the goofiest things with a straight face until he can't hold it in and starts laughing at himself pls he's adorable 😭 "eating miso soup makes me so happy" —park sunghoon

sunoo -> i adored him at first sight too oml it was the cute squishy cheeks for me 🥺🥺 i've always had a soft spot for him and i still do to this day. i saw him as this cutesy lil bean (which he still definitely is) but that sassy side of his that i discovered 👀 iconic.

jungwon -> uhh okay for some reason i remember being able to pick him out sometimes by his eyebrows sksjsks 😭✋🏻 don't ask why. so yeah, he was eyebrow boy for a while aND HIS DIMPLES TOO !! i loved them, in such a sucker for cute dimples on cute boys :c i've now adopted him and he is 1/2 of my sons, the other being park jisung ofc 😌

ni-ki -> *me, seeing niki for the first time* "oh he's cute! who is he?" *insert keyboard typing sounds* "oh! oh- oH... 😳" *me, squinting at my screen* "this boy, no this CHILD, is 15 ??" *cue me throwing my phone at my wall* end scene. ksjsjs no but fr i was so shocked to learn how young he was ?? or how young all of them were really- but lowkey i was so excited bc i'm finally a noona to an entire band let's gaurrr!! i love how he's grown to be such a menace, for some reason i tend to like those types of people a lot (as long as they're not targeting me 😌). *looks at haechan*

ari omg i love this pls- honestly heeseung,, he never fails to effortlessly capture anyone’s heart so yeah,, i don’t blame you 😔 heeseung bestest boi <3 yeah honestly your first impression of jay is similar to mine. we thought he’d be the member who ppl wouldn’t mess with, but little did we know,,, skdjsjjdjd 😭 but yeah he also has such a fun and soft personality. i love him 🥺 and for jake and hee, considering the time you got into them, i’m not surprised you got them mixed up skdjdjd even after stanning them for a while before that, i still got them mixed up 😭✋🏻 and so did the members,, so- sksjsjjd but jakey rlly does have such a precious smile 🥺 i love him sm 😭 sksjsjd getting sunghoon mixed up with sunoo- sksjsjs i think you probs told me about that before but i- 😭 i understand jungwon tho. they still look like brothers to me a lot of the time lol. and pls the thing you said about hoonie’s humour,, i was literally smiling at my phone, unintentionally trying to hide it like hoonie does with his own jokes skdjjsd help he’s so cute pls. and yesss for sunoo i always adored him too and at first i never saw his sassy side skdjjdd and for jungwon being able to tell him apart by his eyebrows sksjsjdj that’s a talent in and of itself ✋🏻 also aksjskdj that was literally me when finding out how old niki was too pls he’s so young it still amazes me to this day.

tell me your first impressions of enha!

#‘*looks at haechan*’ #SKSJDJDJ same tho ✋🏻 #also the amount of drama in niki’s story pLS #i’m here for it tho ✋🏻 #thank you v much for participating 😌 #em answers #ari! <3 #lovely moots #first en⁃pressions

[starry-seongmin]

The Birthday He Didn’t Expect - Daniel Kim

a/n: i’ll be writing a second part to this which will be combined with a request i received because it fits perfectly with this little fic dedicated to out precious and multi-talented maknae Daniel - Mia

Daniel didn't show it...or at least he tried not to but it was obvious. The young boy was upset and low-key hurt that none of his friends would be able to make it for his birthday.

He understood that some had prior engagements and that some were visiting their families but the feeling of his heart plummeting couldn't be helped.

As the clock struck midnight, his phone started flooding with messages and notifications, wishing him a happy birthday and warm wishes. He was no doubt grateful, as his friends surprised him with a group call to make up for not being there in person.

After the call which extended to almost two hours, one by one his hyungs bid him one last wish and a good bye before logging off for the night.

Putting his phone to charge, he settled under his sheets, getting into a comfortable position. His eyes fell on a picture frame hanging across the room and a soft smile graced his lips.

A bunch of boys were smiling back at him, Daniel standing in between Jay and Seon, leaning on Sunoo's head. The faces and the memories hit him with a wave of nostalgia and despite the warmth that radiated off the picture, the young boy's heart felt empty.

"Happy Birthday...to me...", his hoarse voice echoed within the walls of his room.

Singing the birthday song to himself dolefully, he turned to his side, all snuggled up and gradually gave into his sleep, feeling strangely alone except for the moon peeking through his window to keep the birthday boy company.

As afternoon crept in, Daniel was woken from his deep slumber by none other than a warm smile and an affectionate kiss from his dear mother and of course, free hugs from her.

Receiving a gift and an amazing breakfast to start his day, he felt somewhat better than last night.

As a mother's instincts do, his mother was quickly able to detect something was bothering her precious son.

"What's wrong, dear?", her gentle and comforting voice broke the silence. Daniel shook his head, a sad smile on his baby features. "Nothing, just kind of sad that no one can make it today".

Her heart broke, seeing Daniel trying to keep a strong and stable front. Her hand reached across the table and ruffled his hair, dropping down to caress his cheek.

"I'm sure they wanted to spend your birthday with you, dear. There's always next year, no?", she tried to comfort him.He only nodded in return, finishing the last of his breakfast. "You're right, mom", he smiled bravely. "There's always next year".

Later in the day, Daniel found himself watching baby panda videos while feasting on the home made chocolate cake his mother surprised him with. His mother was at her job after promising to come home early to spend the rest of his birthday.

A knock on the door interrupted him from watching a baby panda rolling among the leaves. Not expecting company or anyone or that matter, the young boy went over to answer the door, mind racking to remember if his mother mentioned anyone dropping by in her absence.

crouching down to be eye-level with the people, he did a double take when he spotted an enlarged face with the widest smile and crinkled eyes. Pulling the door open, he was met by one of his friends who launched himself on the surprised boy, singing the birthday song at the top of his melodious voice.

After the initial shock of the ambush was over with and the both of them were now standing, Daniel closed the door and stared at a jittery Sunoo who was literally buzzing with excitement and energy. “I thought you were busy!! What are you doing here??”, the younger of the two expressed his shock but feeling ecstatic that he won’t be alone for his birthday.

“I did a rain check with my sister and she was very understanding. She says happy birthday to you!”, Sunoo replied, clapping his hands. “Go and get dressed!” he cried, pushing Daniel towards his room. “I have everything planned for today and it will be my gift for you so hurry!!” he ordered a perplexed Daniel who knew better than to resist.

10 minutes later, the now hyperactive teen runs downstairs, skipping three steps at a time. Not finding Sunoo where he left him, he looks in the kitchen to be greeted with a sight he was frankly not surprised to see. Sunoo was wolfing down a large slice of the chocolate cake, thoroughly enjoying it from the animated reactions and noises of satisfaction he let out.

“Hyung, where are we going?”, Daniel asked, signalling his presence as he walks over to him and joins him to finish the slice Sunoo generously cut for himself. “We’re going to the festival..you know the one at the park?”, he replied, his face stuffed. Daniel let out a soft ‘oh’ once he understood what Sunoo tried to say.

An eventful walk to the bus stop filled with laughter and a bus ride later, the two boys entered the park's premises which was bustling with families, friends and even tourists making the place seem exuberant and alive.

Upon entering, they each received a flyer from someone with today's events listed down alongside the time and the part of the park where it was taking place.

Daniel's eyes immediately landed on the dog show which was apparently currently taking place in the left corner of the park. Sunoo, it seemed, had the same idea as he let out a gasp. "Let's check it out before it's too late!", he exclaimed and grabbed Daniel's hand.

Before Daniel could react, he was jerked forward as Sunoo ran towards their destination with only one thing in mind. Doggos.

Good boys and girls of all shapes and sizes with their floppity ears and little paw paws and tails wagging nineteen to the dozen. "Eternal happiness is drawing near!! I can feel it!!", Sunoo cried in exaggeration, hyping up Daniel as they both dodged the crowd and excusing themselves if they bumped into someone.

When they finally ended up at their destination, they were met by a large podium like stage decorated with colourful banners and balloons and on stop of that stage were a dozen or so dogs and puppies of all shapes, sizes and breeds wearing costumes and accessories to stand out. 

Sunoo let out a squeal of excitement and Daniel couldn’t help but exclaim with joy, both of their eyes shining at the wonderful sight. Just then, the announcer commenced the ‘talent show’ and the owners with their little canine companions gathered there began to wow the audience and the judges with the various tricks they had prepared.

During the showcase, Sunoo’s and Daniel’s cheers were the loudest alongside the little kids who got more louder thanks to Sunoo and Daniel, and their exaggerated comments. Daniel’s heart swelled with happiness whenever his eyes fell on Sunoo. He was truly grateful and blessed to have a friend like him in his life and at that moment, he vowed to himself to be the bestest friend Sunoo will ever have.

After the show ended, the owners and their pets awarded, the two boys didn’t hesitate to ask the owners permission to play with the dogs and take pictures. A little boy was watching the dogs with a hesitant smile on his face and keeping his distant. Daniel noticed the boy’s hesitance and beckoned him over. The little boy waddled over to him, holding on to his mother’s hand and hiding behind her. 

“Are you scared?”, Daniel spoke softly and the boy only nodded in return. “He’s also very shy but adores animals”, the mother explained. “Do you want to pet him?”, Daniel asked, lifting the brown pup he was holding. At the boy’s positive response, Daniel walked over to them and got on his knees to be at eye level with the toddler.

Reassuring the kid with his gentle and calming voice apparently did wonders as the boy was encouraged and assured that nothing will happen to him whilst his mother and Daniel were there. The small hand finally reached out and hesitantly touched the head of the small dog and the cautious pats slowly turned to loving and carefree ones as the boy slowly but definitely got accustomed. 

The mother gave a grateful smile to Daniel who seemed proud and content with himself to be of help and make a kid’s day. Both boys were now playing with the small animal and having the time of their lives when Sunoo’s voice called out to Daniel, telling him that they have to check out other things at the festival.

When completely assured by the mother that she can handle from now on wards, he bid one last final good bye to the both of them and even exchanged a high five with the little boy before joining Sunoo who clapped his back. “I’m hungry...there’s this stall with live barbecue”, he exclaimed, hand rubbing his stomach.

“Is Sunoo hyung going to treat me today? It is my birthday after all”, Daniel whined and played along with his hyung’s aegyo. “Of course I am!”, Sunoo exclaimed, offended at Daniel doubting him in the first place. The birthday boy let out a giggle and clapped his hands, placing them on Sunoo’s shoulder as the both of them ran in search of the particular food stall.

Even though only one of his friends was able to make it for his birthday, Daniel felt elated and truly blessed to have someone like Sunoo in his life as the both of them laughed and the shorter one announced a surprise race to the stall which was now in view before picking up speed. Not wanting to lose and give bragging rights to Sunoo, Daniel put his long legs to use and soon ran past Sunoo, waving him along the way as he finally reached the crowded food stall, jumping in victory as Sunoo finally reached him with a playful pout.

It was surely one of his best birthdays all thanks to his favorite hyung.

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #i-land #i-land scenarios #iland fluff #i-land fluff #iland #iland scenarios #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #daniel #daniel scenarios #daniel fluff #daniel kim #kim daniel #daniel i-land #daniel iland #sunoo #sunoo imagines #sunoo scenarios #sunoo fluff #i-land imagines #iland imagines #kim sunoo #kim sunoo fluff #kim sunoo scenarios

[theblackbirdsgemimagines]

Ramble away, cause I feel the twisted head rot, I kinda wanna see what you think about our bois. ~ a pocket sized dragon hops in excitement.

A POCKET SIZED DWAGOOOOOONNNN 😭💞💞💞 That’s so BLESSED, and tysm omg, I’m very glad to just spill out my barking on every boy, bc yEAH THE BRAIN ROT SKDHAKDB

THE BRAIN ROT IS SO REAL LOL

Everything I breathe ends up relating to TWST in some way, like at this point just let me take my friends, cousins, and pets, and of course Lulu and Seb, and I will have 1. A Gottdamned Harem, 2. So Many Children, and 3. NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. Kwfhskdhjwek

Ok this is gonna be long bc I gotta cover all my boys, so rip lol.

Dorm Leads:

Riddle

GOD, my Fucking Baby, my CHILD, my SWEET BABY BOY, I’M 👁💧👄💧👁

I would die for him, beetch, he is PRECIOUS ♥️

He reminds me of how I feel Ciel would behave if S/O took the place as Sebastian’s contracee, too, so like 🥺 Lots of feels 😭

Is Son, I have adopted him now. If you mistreat him, don’t ever speak to me or my son ever again. I’ll FIGHT his MOM, don’t TEST me. I’m his new mom now. His BIRD mom. So proud of him, he’s like...one of the few that’s actually shown growth in canon after his overblot kshdkadjs

Leona

👁💧👄💧👁

.....I am a Mere Simp....

Ya’ll.... I swearh to ghOD I simped hard for Scar back when I was a wee thing, I did NOT expect to simp for him AGAIN LATER IN LIFE, what the FUCK aidhskdhskdj

Like shit bitch, damn, you may not be king of Afterglow honey, but you can be king of my heart if you wAnt to bb....

Leona: *smiles once, even if it’s smugly*

Me: *WEEPING* Look at hiiiiiiim!! My sunshine booooooy! 😭

Does this make me a furry

Probably

I am too Simp to Care Anymore

I HESITATED TO GET ATTACHED BC THIS BOY LOOKS LIKE A FUCKIN WOMANIZER IF I EVER SAW ONE, BUT HE DRINKS HIS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE EVERY SINGLE MORNING AND I WAS A GONNER SNDJAJDHSJ

FUCK

Call me a Herbivore again, bully me //SLAPPED

Azul

He secretly a lil shit sometimes, but tha’s ok, it’s mostly in a silly way, especially post overblot~ UvU

The sweetest bby everytime I read fanposts on him, like god, ah 💜💜💜 WHOMST COULD BULLY SUCH A CUTE CHUBBY OCTOBABY I’LL FIGHT ALL OF EM!! A sweetheart 10/10 would be his friend 💗 Not making contracts with him tho, lol

...ok maybe SOME after his overblot, but they’re able to be easily reversed now, so it’s way more chill andhsjdj

Kalim

FUCK!!!! F U C K!!!! BABYYYYYYY!!!! BABY!!!! I HAVE ADOPTED HIM IF YOU TOUCH HIM YOU D I E

He is literally so sweet, anytime anyone was like “you’re so nice it’s annoying” I WAS READY TO COME FLYING IN TO BITCH SLAP THEM LIKE AJDHSKDHSJ (even if I also loved them lol)

Like NO you are WRONG whfksjd

He has also grown so much, and I am proud ♥️🧡

Vil

Jesus Christ, canon Vil is Hurting Meeeeee ajdhskdhsj

My fave fanon Vil is the one that recognizes all different types of beauty, though~ uvu and is v encouraging to anyone that may be struggling with self hatred 💜

Canon: Vil is pretty~.

Me: Wow, wtf???? He IS so pretty... How rude I didn’t think you were serious! Wow him??? Pretty??? Wow??? Wow...

Idia

I’m not sure yet, as I haven’t seen him very often, but of the few times that I have: BIG same, huge mood, and Me FUCKING Too, goddamn akdhakdj

Idia is my Anxiety and Anime Nerd personified tbh lol

What Ortho is to him are what all my comfort characters are to me, honestly.

Like what would you like bby, you want that singing voice?? Ok here comes a synthesizer just special for you~. Ily, mwah~ u3u 💕

Malleus

HEAVY BREATHING

Ok maybe it’s just the lack of story/info out on him yet, but I don’t currently simp as hard for him compared to Leona, I’ll admit jajdkajd

BUT BOY HOWDEY DO I EVER STILL S I M P...

He Is Baby... And I Lob Him....

I am going to smooch those horns and forehead crown of beautiful scales 🖤🖤🖤 I am going to do it!!!! Here I go!!!

HE CAN HAVE ALL THE ICE CREAM AND TAMAGATCHI DATES HE WANTS I’M- 😭

This man is too precious for words, and I have so much childhood nostelgia to ‘enchanted’ woods, and being in the mountains, so he has Old Fae Friend vibes to me~🖤

DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON F-

Ngl I ship him and Leona a lil bit lol

No, not just bc that makes a poly with my two faves easier, but that is a bonus factor jadhajdj

Vice Dorm Heads:

Trey

Oh my god, the Daddy to my Mommy with all these newly adopted lil kids of ours, ya know??? What a wholesome sweetie and funny lil shit jahdksdh~

I love him, I would gladly make tarts with, AND for him 💚💚💚

The kind of boi who I’d ship HARD with anyone he started dating bc My God it would warm my heart So Much 💞💞

Ruggie (unofficial but may as well be at this point lol)

He took a while to grow on me kadhskdhsj

But I think he’d be a sweet, if a trouble-maker of a friend to have~.

Dank you for taking care of my sweet lion bby, honey, I’m sure Farrena is a sweetheart, but boi I hope he gets his shit together to fix up where Ruggie lives 😭

I think if I met his granny, I’d CRY jadhajsh 💗💗

Leech Twins (?)

Idk if they’re vice leaders, but who cares lol

THESE are the older Big Brothers in every sense of the word. (My canon ages most everyone up just a bit, save for Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Kalim, Jamil, Cheka, and anyone already 20+)

The ANNOYING older big brothers, lol.

The ones that hug you to death (Floyd), or use you for an arm rest (Jade), and specifically Do the thing you asked/told them NOT to Do.

This is fine with me tho, I’m an only child, please give me the experience of annoying older brothers lol 💙💚

Jamil

I used to hate you bby, I’m so sorry akdhskdhs

I’ve adopted him now, and I’m v proud he’s trying, but making clear what his boundaries are, and trying to come out of a shell he was made to be in for so long 😭

AND HIS DANCING IS SICK LIKE HONESTLY I’M SUCH A PROUD MOM 💗💗💗

Rook

God. FUCKING Rook, lol.

IDK IF I SHOULD TRUST YOU, but I also kinda wanna be your friend akdhakdjs

HE CONCERNS ME but he also seems nice and v sweet sometimes, lmao

Blz don’t stalk me tho 😬

STOP SHOOTING YOUR ARROWS AROUND SCHOOL YOU BLOODY HEATHEN FRENCH PRISS, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

Also, if he DARES hunt cute animals around me, especially BIRDS, I am going to GRIP him jahdkahdsk

He’s like if Lord Druitt was a Little More Nice and a Little Bit Less Creepy ajdhak

Lilia:

GOD.

I LOVE THIS FUCKING GRANDPA.

I. FUCKING. LOVE. THIS FUCKING. GRANDPA.

I absolutely hc him as nonbinary w/masc pronouns, I absoLUTELY do.

I adore him, I love him, I haven’t gotten a squish (hardcore desire to be someone’s friend, lol) this hard for a character since AngelDust, I-

Pwease be nonbinary friends with me, Lilia 🥺

THE ONLY PERSON HERE SHORTER THAN ME, BUT I’LL TAKE IT AJDHAKDHJS

Anyone know Corpse and how he plays Among Us? That’s how I see Lilia playing his video games with friends and I JUST I JUST I J U S T

The Spencer to your Carly.

He and Crowley are free to compete as Dad with me too like honestly kshdkadjjs

He’ll always be granpa tho uvu 💚💖🖤

Extras:

Ace

God, the Fucking Annoying Middle Brother that pranks you ALL THE DAMN TIME, but I love him andhakdhsk

Deuce

THE BROTHER THAT WILL BEAT UP YOUR BULLIES 💙💙💙 SWEET BABY BOY

The Josh to Ace’s Drake. The Cody to Ace’s Zack. The Freddie to your Carly and Ace’s Sam.

If he and Ace started dating, tho, I would CRY.

But regardless who they end up dating, it’ll be slow burn friends to lovers, and literally the most adorable shit to watch EVER 💞💞💞😭

Cater

Seems Like A Womanizer But Actually Drinks His Reapect Women Juice And We Stan That 🧡

Can always count on him to help tou get the best Magicram shots, bless you Cater 🧡🧡

Also rly wanna be his friend, ngl 😭 Even IF he pranks me a lot kadhakdhsj

Jack:

H E AV Y BR EA T H IN G

Ngl my feelings for him are in the air IDK IF I WANNA SMOOCH OR NOT YET I JUST KNOW I LOB HIM HE GOODEST BESTEST BOY 💛💛💛😭

If all three Savannaclaw bois got in a cuddle pile with me, I would Not Be Mad

How can I give this boy love, tell me and I will Do It

Gift him all the cacti’s he WANTS💛

God he drinks that respecc women juice bright and early on his run every morning, you KNOW he does 💛💛💛

I wawnt to pet his ears an tail an fwuffy wolf form 😭

I WAWNT TO SEE THE BOY SMILE AND BE HAPPY 💞💞💞

Sebek

CHILL CHILL CHILL CHILL CH-

He is a v devoted guard tho, we love to see it UvU

I don’t have more info on him hekdhskdj but his fanmade content seems v v sweet~ 💚

Silver

HE ATTRACTS BIRDS AND I CRY ABOUT IT PLEASE BE MY FRIEND AND TEACH ME HOW 🥺🥺🥺

Him being raised by Lilia and Malleus literally gives me so much Fucking Seratonin....... God 💞💕💗💗💞💞💗💗💕💞

Ortho

IS BABY????? IS BABY!!!!!! I’M LOVE HIM I’M ADOPTING HIM IS BABYYYYYYY 💙💙💙💙💙

Cheka:

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

He is so FUCKING CUTE what the FUCK!

Leonaaaaaaa... 🥺 Your NEPHEWWWWW 😭

I might steal him from Farrena tbh, lIKE MY CHILD NOW~ 🧡🧡

I just sob and hug him every time I see him honestly 😭

Teachers:

Dire Crowley

Ohhhhhh god oh god oh god

Be my dad. Please. Be my dad. PLEASE be my dad. Ya’ll think I’m joking, I’m not. Please adopt me. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

This man as a father gives me so much dopamine and oxytocin and seratonin??? I have been weeping for WEEKS, please adopt me, Sir

Fathers with zero braincells being wrapped around a daughter’s little finger makes me so weak, and I am just here with Daddy Issues like ajdhakdhsj BLEASE ADOPT ME MISTER BIRD MAN

Crewel

Ew.

Forgive me, I haven’t seen much content with him in it/that could be considered wholesome, bUT JADHWKDJSJ

UncoMFORTABLE

Please keep the kink talk out of the classroom, S I R

Call me puppy one more time, see what happens, I’m not scared to fight a teacher akdhakdhsj

Trein

The Dad Figure that tries to be the stern part to Crowley’s blumbering kahdkqrhsjdj

Don’t feel as much attachment to him emotionally, but I like him~

Just let me pet your cat sometimes and give you holiday presents, and we’re cool~ ♥️

Vargas

Found the womanizer //SMACKED

And of course, I can’t forget Grim~!

He’s grown on me, and if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in the room, and then myself 😭

I will pet and snuggle and hold him all he wants and feed him all the tuna his heart desires uvu 💙

#THIS TOOK A LONG TIME FORGIVE ME JADHSKDHSKDH #MY PHONE WAS LAGGING IN TYPING AFTER A WHILE I WAS LIKE KEEP GOIN BESSY ANDHSJJD #twisted wonderland #twst dorm leaders #twst vice dorm leaders #dire crowley #leona kingscholar #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #idia shroud #vil schoenheit #malleus draconia #asks #answered #THANK YOU FOR GIVIN ME MORE OF AN EXCUSE JSADBJASDN #<3 <3

[cathyparrlyn]

Calling myself out, part 1

Just a little tid bit of me calling myself out, some of these are inside jokes, but I hope you all enjoy this. It will hopefully describe me as a person better cause I am not an amazing writer in real life, just a chaotic disaster that wants to hug her stitch plush.

Shout out to @toomanyfamdom @dannixy @all-my-love-cathy @little-bit-lost-and-found @boleynhowards @saria-malinas @flat-dr-pepper-chasers @shilly-shally-disaster @prisky0731 and @thatbolxyngirl as they would understand this post the most, lol.

And @lakes-other-sixes who is baby and I blame my sleepy brain for forgetting to add, I am sorry it’s like 5 a.m. here lol. I love you my holy body of water 💙💚

-

Me: Time to do something productive.

Also me: *stares at a wall for three hours thinking about my 28637026 parrlyn fic ideas cause I am a bi disaster who has sold their soul to this ship.* Or not.

-

Me: *insert random emoticon as a response as I am bad at texting.* perfect.

-

Me: B A B Y.

My online daughter who is both taller and more mature than me: no...

Me, almost 17 year old with no brain cells and is short: Y E S B A B Y. IMA HUG YOU. PREPARE TO BE HUGGED AKHSHEHHWJWJHSJEH I LOVE YOU

My online daughter: okay then.

-

Me: PRINCESS CAN NOT BE A STRIPPER.

Princess and baby girl and my smol bean noodle: but mom!

Me: N O! Not in this online fam!

An amazing bitch (they know who they are): *exists and pole dances*

Me: Fuck yeah, do what you want girl!

Princess: HOW IS THIS FAIR?!

Me: ITS NOT JABSNVENWBSJJSG

-

Me: BABY BABY BABY

Baby: MADDY MADDY MADDY? What?

Me: hiiiiiiiiiii. (8th time I have said hi to them in the past hour.)

Baby:....... hi?

-

Baby girl: *exists*

Me: my life has purpose, you are beautiful and I shall protect. You could do no wrong. If you murdered someone and blamed it on me, I would be fine with it.

Baby girl: *holds up scissors*

Me: N O.

-

Me: They are so coo-

Baby: I’m not a them.

Me: ajgshshsvjsbsjjsbsk WHY AM I DOING THIS???

-

Me: Morning!

Baby: it’s 1 p.m.

Me: time is a meaningless concept.

Also me: also, I went to sleep at 5:30 a.m. because fuck consistency and a healthy sleep schedule.

-

Me: *tells my friends they are beautiful*

Also me: I AM A DEMON SPAWN THAT WAS ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONED FROM HELL WHEN SOMEONE MESSED UP MAKING A MUSTARD SANDWHICH!

-

Me: I have an idea! Let’s add it to the parrlyn fic list!

The lists word count for just (insert AU!AU):

Me: *texts online six friends* I think my brain has a problem.

Also me: *laughs at 69*

-

Me and my fake wife: * yelling arguing for ten minutes on a group chat call about a show we only know.*

Also me and my fake wife after agreeing to take the argument to our dms: *has a civil discussion and continues to talk about the show and have a fun while we lead the fake fam to think we were arguing and at each other’s throats for a whole hour.* Lol.

-

Me: Precious smol chaotic bean noodle! I write poetry.

Them: It’s good.

Me: shush. No you.

-

My fake wife: you are so evil.

Me: but evil is hot?

My fake wife: yes..... but like, please don’t.

-

Me: I love you.

Theyby: you shouldn’t but thanks, I love you too.

Me: ACCEPT MY LOVE OR I SHALL THROTTLE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT BY HUGGING YOU AND COMPLIMENTING YOU UNTIL YOU SMILE YOU BEATIFUL HUMAN PERSON.

Theyby: False.

Me: I made an oath to only tell the truth. Newspaper.

Theyby: I know.

Me: I mention it a lot.

Theyby: yeah, you kinda do.

-

Also me from last post: human person? How is English my first language.

-

Me: *has all these angst ideas.*

Also me: *has only published fluff.*...... I didn’t think this through.

-

Me: my writing sucks.

Everyone else: maddy no.

Me: Maddy yes.

-

My son: Dale is the best boi, I am the okayest boi.

Me: No, you are the bestest boys and precious, I love you baby boy, let me hug you through this phone.

Also me: *continues to kill him every time we play Minecraft as he has mob skin and I joke pretend he is a mob.* I love you!

Him: Why do I deserve this, my arms [virtual] are now glitching.

Me: I’m a great mom!

-

Me: my crush gave me a bed time, so ima follow it cause I’m whipped.

Me: *after losing my crush* let’s sleep at 6 a.m. tonight.

-

Somebody: *literally says anything.*

Me: *bursts in out of nowhere* I have a parrlyn idea.

-

Me: ima have over 100k on this fic.

Also me: *continues to talk about fic, but doesn’t write anything. If I do, it’s a future chapter that can’t be posted until my current chapter is done.* .......Fuck.

-

Me: *sees fanart of Cathy in a stitch onesie.* :0000

Me: *one month later sitting in a stitch onesie.* I have accomplished in life.

-

Everyone else: *answers a question with one word.*

Me: *answers same question with three pages of words for content*

Also me: *wonders why everyone is staring and refers to me as the one in English with a 96*

Also me again: *giggles at 96 being the flipped version of 69*

-

Me: *asexual* good howdy dandy morning you beautiful lovely people who I graciously call my friends as they deserve the world and make me smile! Have hugs.

Also me: *inserts a sex joke at any occasion and teases my online friends as the annoying introvert I am.*

-

Me when I accidentally hurt any of my children in the most minor way: I have failed you, for I am a terrible, awful, horrendous person who doesn’t deserve to succeed in life.

Them: Nuuuuu.

Me: I am the worlds biggest disappointment.

-

Nobody: ......

Me: So Katanna is totally perfect for an insert fic with Tangled, agree or perish.

-

No one:

Me: ha ha, I’m no one, read my user.

-

Not a single soul: .....

Me: LETS ENTER THE CHAT IN ALL CAPS WITH A BUNCH OF EMOTICONS CAUSE I CANT TEXT LOL :D ;) :P :333 :0 ^0^ ;-;

-

Me: *bored* let’s call myself out.

-

Me, my first time entering the tiefs chat: Hi you all, you are so amazing and beautiful and I am so happy to be here. Let me give you hugs. Your writing is amazing, if you ever need help or just need to rant, I’m here.

The group chat: #MaddyTheHypeMom.

Me:..... Well I feel called out, but I can’t deny it. This is it. I am the hype mom. I shall adopt all of you, I don’t care if some of you are 5 years older than me. I am the mom now and I will love you all.

-

And finally~

My online chat peacefully minding their own business:

Me sending a text to them: 😇

Them: oh god, this can’t be good.

#I am a mess #chaos #group chats lol #love my online fams #😇😇😇😇 #💙💚💙💚 #exposing myself #maddy the hype mom #tiefs #chaos admins #i hope you enjoy #kinda six the musical #parrlyn #parrleyn #mentions of wajms #i like to write #epitome of a cooc disaster who can only funtion between 11pm - 4am #love you all~