#EMMA VIS. ( and just for a second i could be one of the greats. )

[debtsunpaid]

tag drop for EMMA KNIGHT, divorced failboss and fashion designer to hell! her song is 'caesar on a TV screen' by the last dinner party.

#OOC. #she's just the Most divorced woman you've ever met and i love her so much #EMMA TXT. ( i'll be caesar on a TV screen. champion of my fate. ) #EMMA HC. ( no one can tell me to stop. i'll have everything i want! ) #EMMA VIS. ( and just for a second i could be one of the greats. ) #EMMA STUDY. ( and everyone will like me then. everyone will love me. ) #EMMA AES. ( i felt like an emperor with a city to burn. ) #EMMA LYR. ( i'd trade my tongue in just to hear him every night. ) #sched.

[waywardxrhea]

Part Twenty-Four: Ready to Run

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence, (potentially smut later on).

installment list

Word count: 6.3k

Emma and Wanda put their training to the test as they try to outrun Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Vision using the skills they have gained during their training with the Avengers over the last few months.

One morning in mid-January, Emma wakes up to a knock at her bedroom door. She stands up and opens the door to see Wanda. "Hey Wanda," she says groggily.

"Did you get the note?"

Emma crinkles her eyebrows and asks, "What note?"

"That one," Wanda tells her, pointing at the note on the floor, previously unnoticed. Emma picks up the paper and reads it aloud.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be the ultimate test of the skills you have learned over the past few months. You and Wanda have been tasked with attempting to elude us for the next five days. Steve, Sam, Vision, and I will be the ones seeking you out and have left the compound so you can get a plan ready. You may take your tech with you if you so choose, and Wanda is allowed to use her powers. Take what you need from your room, but you are not to take any extra tech from the compound. Pretend that you are on the lam. Your only bounds are to stay in the state. You have until the end of the day to flee. If you arrive at the compound before we catch you or the time runs out, you will have succeeded. Good luck.

Emma thinks for a second then looks up at Wanda and says, "Well I guess we're on the lam now. How hard can it be though? We have all of New York state to hide in."

"We have to be careful though because they have Vis with them. He has the ability to access almost every bit of tech in the world, so we need to stay off the grid," Wanda tells her.

Emma nods as she grabs a duffle bag to put a few essentials in. "And Nat is great with stuff like that too." She pauses while she thinks about what to do, settling on, "So going into the city should be out of the question, but I can't help but thinking it's so unexpected that we should do it. I can hear Sam asking why we would be so dumb to go there so they might not even think to check for a day or so. If we can pull it off, imagine how impressed they would be with us."

Wanda laughs and says, "As much as I would love to impress them, I would rather play it safe. You've lived in a lot of the state, haven't you? Where should we make our way to?"

"If we go anywhere that I've lived, they'll find us faster than we could even get there because now Steve knows about a lot of the places I went to growing up. We need somewhere completely random and small." 

After that statement, Emma finalizes packing her supplies and soon after as the two walk out of the room, Wanda asks, "Are you not taking your tech?"

Emma shakes her head, replying, "It's too risky. Taking it could just add in more risk of them pinging our location, plus the training Nat has given us doesn't involve it." She starts to second guess herself though and asks, "Do you think I should bring it?"

"Whatever you think is best. I trust your judgment."

Emma nods as they head out, leaving the drone behind. Before making their way to the doors though, Emma makes a stop at the kitchen to grab some granola bars, protein bars, and fruit for the road. When they get moving again, their footsteps echo in the empty halls and Emma says quietly, "I think they cleared everyone out for this so we're completely on our own."

Wanda holds up her finger to silence Emma and whispers, "No, listen. There's someone else here." In the distance, they hear the whistling of one of the security guards from his station. Wanda looks around and sees a camera pointing at them. She then leans closer to Emma's ear, blocking her lips from the camera's view, and whispers, "If that's the night guard, he should be heading home soon. What if we got into the back of his car and out of here that way?"

Emma nods and whispers back, "We'll still have to disable the cameras though so they can't figure out how we left. I can do that part, you distract the guard."

Wanda nods with a smile as they part ways to execute their plan. When Wanda gets the guard distracted, Emma sneaks into the security room and begins disabling the cameras inside and outside of the compound. She also adds in some extra programming to ensure that the cameras won't come on until after they make their escape. When she's done, she looks to Wanda who is chatting with the guard, and gives her a thumbs up. When Emma is out of the room, Wanda smiles at him and says, "Have a safe trip home."

"Will do Miss Maximoff. Thanks for looking out for me," he tells her.

Wanda rounds the corner to meet with Emma and tells her, "We have about ten minutes to get to his vehicle and hide inside before he leaves. What exactly is our plan?"

The pair starts walking to the parking area as Emma says, "We'll get in the bed of the truck and hide, then when we are out of the area a good bit, we'll hope he makes a pit stop or we jump out. From there we make our way to a motel or abandoned house. If it comes to it I know a few basic camping skills that we can survive on. Sound like a plan?"

"Sounds like one," Wanda replies with a nod. "Only problem is how will we know which one is his?"

"That won't be a problem. I checked the cameras from the parking area and the only vehicles out there are mine, his, and a few Stark company cars and it's obvious which ones they are because they've all got the Stark Industries logo on them somewhere."

"Perfect," Wanda replies as they hustle out of the building.

Once outside, they get into the bed of the truck and cover up with a tarp that was in there covering the guard's camping supplies. Emma pulls her jacket close to her body as they wait for the security guard to head out from his shift. Neither dare speak a word as they wait for him to come out.

After a few more tense minutes, the truck roars to life and starts moving. They both breathe a sigh of relief when they start down the road. Relaxing against the supplies in the back, Wanda and Emma finally talk again. "This is exciting," Wanda breathes with a small smile.

"And terrifying," Emma adds quietly. "Just thinking that we'll have Natasha Romanoff on our tails in a matter of hours kinda freaks me out."

"It'll all be fine. They've been looking for James Barnes for years and still haven't found him, I think we can make it a few days without being found." At the mention of Bucky, Emma's body tenses up thinking about the past and Wanda covers her mouth quickly. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't supposed to mention him with you!"

Emma shakes her head and assures her, "No, no it's okay. I'll be okay. The past is the past. You have a good point though, if he can be out there like a ghost we can too. We've got this."

Wanda smiles and nods, a wave of confidence hitting her. After a while of driving, the truck starts to slow down, so Wanda subtly lifts the edge of the tarp to peek out. After taking in their surroundings, she whispers to Emma, "We're in a little town right now, there's a wooded area on the left that seems really thick for cover, do we want to get out here once it's safe?"

Emma nods. "If we need to go farther we can go on foot. Are there any other cars around? Or security cameras?" After another look, Wanda shakes her head no. While the truck is stopped at a stop sign, Wanda opens the door of the bed and prepares to jump out. Once Wanda is safely out, Emma jumps out too.

They then make their way into the wooded area nearby. The pair walk for a while and talk about little things like their favorite songs, bands, and ice cream flavors, just getting to know one another more personally. After the small talk dies down, Wanda asks, "So I know it's a sore subject, but what exactly happened with Barnes?" She wants to get Emma's perspective on the situation rather than just relying on the story from Steve.

"Asking the real questions, aren't we?" Emma jokes before taking a breath and telling her, "Well it isn't what happened with Bucky, it's what happened with the Winter Soldier. Long story short, I was there when he tried to take Director Fury's life and got caught up in the crossfire. I could have died there if it wasn't for Fury. Then because of the fact that I got away from that alive, HYDRA needed to tie up loose ends so he was in my apartment with a knife to kill me. He would have gotten the job done if Sam hadn't been there and spooked him. After that, he had a knife to my throat in a street fight and I just... accepted that as the end before Steve saved me."

"I know the feeling of accepting your fate like that..." Wanda tells her. "When I was younger and our home was bombed with Stark Industries weapons, I stayed under a bed with Pietro for days waiting for that shell to explode. It never did, but I had fully accepted that that was the end. It was the most terrifying thing not knowing if the next moment would be your last."

"I can't imagine," Emma whispers, shaking her head. "But looking on the bright side, we're here now and we can just try and make the most of every moment we have." She's quiet for a few seconds before adding, "You know...people in the movies always say that their near-death experiences made them start living life more, but I can't say it worked like that for me. If anything it just made me a workaholic and now I hate sitting around doing nothing because my mind gets time to think about the past."

Wanda nods and tells her, "Your hard work has paid off so far though. For me, there is good and bad that came out of that day. On the good side I eventually ended up here in this position working with an amazing group of individuals, but the road here...that was not so good."

"All roads lead somewhere, and I'm glad yours landed you here, Wanda," Emma tells her with a smile.

By this time they are deep in the woods about fifty miles away from the compound, a good distance traveled in one day, mostly thanks to the security guard. When the pair emerge into a clearing, there is a run-down shack of a house sitting in the middle. "This gives me horror movie vibes..." Emma whispers.

"We're Avengers, we can fight off any horror movie killers if we need to," Wanda jokes. The joke makes the situation a little less tense and the pair split up to carefully take a look around the property, finding no signs of life. When they meet back up at the front door, Wanda says, "This seems like a good enough location to hide out for a few days in. Off the grid, no one else around, only thing is it far enough? We have the whole state to run off to and we only made it this far."

Emma considers the question and then tells her, "If we start feeling unsafe we can move on, but I say for at least today we set up shop here. If we want to, tomorrow we can hitchhike or sneak into someone's car again or keep walking. The options are limitless really. We just have to make it because I am not letting Sam win this challenge. He will hang it over my head for the rest of my life if they find us."

Wanda laughs at this statement and says, "Okay, I can start clearing out some of the debris from inside the house and you can start making it campable...if that's a word."

"Well if it isn't, it is now," Emma replies with a laugh.

On the second morning of the adventure, after sharing some fruit and a granola bar, Wanda and Emma take a look at their supplies and realize that they only have a little bit of food left for the next few days. Upon seeing this, Emma asks, "So now the big question is do we risk going into a store to get food, or do we find food out here?"

"Well, what do we have in terms of disguises? Almost every store in the world has surveillance cameras now, so Natasha and Vis will easily find us if we go in without some sort of cover."

Emma roots through her bag, pulling out a thick scarf she brought to protect against the cold, offering, "One of us could easily cover up with this while we get in and get out. It's pretty cold out here so it wouldn't cause any sort of alarm if someone went into a store bundled up."

"That sounds like a plan. Now, what do we have in terms of money? We can't use cards or else they'll know exactly where we are."

"Good thing I started taking a little cash out of my paychecks for this exact reason," Emma tells her as she pulls out her wallet.

Wanda laughs a bit, asking, "You planned on having to go on the lam?"

"Well no, but I over-prepare for everything, so I started doing it just in case once Nat started our training. I used to do it all the time because my grandfather didn't trust banks but once he passed and I moved, my Grammie and I moved most of the money into the bank. She always swore there was more we couldn't find, but she got sick before we could locate it." Emma pauses and laughs remembering her grandfather. "The crazy old bastard, I loved him though."

Wanda smiles at the story and says, "Well it's good that we are prepared then. I think we should pack up and put out the fire before we head to the store. I would feel safer if we keep moving after going out in public to get food."

Nodding, Emma starts to pack up her blanket and put it into her duffle bag. Before heading back out into the chilly air, she wraps the thick scarf around her neck and some of her face. "When we get there I can go in. We need a game plan so I can get in, get the supplies, and get out. What do we need?"

As the pair walk, they come up with a list of necessary supplies for the remaining three days of their adventure. When they get into view of the small corner store, Wanda flies herself up into the branches of the thick trees to see into the area and scope it out.

After a few minutes, she looks down at Emma and gives her a thumbs up. Emma nods and ensures the scarf covers the lower half of her face before making her way across the street and to the small store. As she shops, she occasionally throws a subtle look behind her shoulder to make sure she isn't spotted. When she gets checked out, Emma thanks the clerk and walks a ways down the sidewalk before darting back into the woods. She meets back up with Wanda and gives her a pair of hand warmers that she bought. Wanda thanks Emma as they begin walking again, staying away from the main road to avoid the curious eyes of drivers.

After the third day and about a hundred miles between themselves and the compound, Emma and Wanda are laying in another abandoned house, looking up at the stars through the broken roof. "You know, this whole thing hasn't been so bad," Emma ponders aloud. "We've had warmth, a bit of food, peace and quiet, good company."

"I agree, I just can't wait to get back into my own bed, this has been completely exhausting," Wanda replies with a laugh.

"Absolutely. I think I'm gonna sleep for two days straight when we get back. If Cap tries to make us do any training I swear..."

"I'd hope they would give us a few days to recover afterward."

"You'd think, but I can just hear Sam or Nat saying, 'Do you think you get a break between missions in real life?'" Emma laughs at the thought before she adds, "But speaking of afterward, how will we get back? Do we wait an extra day and then use a credit card so they can come to find us or do we hitch a ride back to the compound?"

"You know, I didn't think that part through," Wanda replies quietly. "There wasn't any sort of instructions on that bit of the mission."

"Can you reach out to someone with your powers or something? Like can you reach Vision with them?"

"I'm not sure, I haven't ever tried," she replies thoughtfully. Wanda yawns before continuing, "Maybe we can try it when the time comes."

"Maybe," Emma replies. "You should get some rest, I'll take the first watch."

Wanda nods and falls asleep soon after, leaving Emma to think as she looks up at the stars. For the next couple of hours, she thinks about her grandparents and how she doubts they would ever believe a single thing about her adventures from the past few years. She laughs to herself but stops when she hears rustling in the trees outside.

Panicked, Emma quietly shakes Wanda awake from her slumber. "Wanda, there's something out there," she whispers, wishing she had her drone to catch a glimpse of what or who it was.

After taking a few seconds to wake up, Wanda asks, "Do you think it's them?"

"I don't know, how could it be? We made sure to not leave a trail from the store to here."

The sound grows louder and nearer, making the two girls' eyes widen in fear. They both slowly and silently stand up to look out the window of the shack. What meets their eyes is scarier than getting found by Natasha though. Outside is a bear standing about fifteen feet away from the door.

After a few minutes of the bear not going anywhere, Wanda ignites wisps of red in her hands, telling Emma, "We need to get out of here. Pack up what you can quickly. If it gets too close I can handle it."

"Are you sure?" Emma whispers.

"Yes, now hurry." Wanda keeps an eye on the creature as Emma tries to pack as quietly as possible. Some of their supplies are not so quiet though which causes the bear's ears to perk up in curiosity. "Emma, he hears you."

Emma shoves the last of what she can in her bag and tells Wanda, "Let's go then!"

As they try making their way out the back of the shack, the bear becomes aware of their presence. Before they can get away, the bear lunges at the two of them. Wanda instantly twists her hands which ignite with red and deter the bear from them for a moment. When the distraction doesn't work, Wanda says, "I've never tried using my powers on an animal like this, I don't know what to do! I don't want to hurt it."

Emma looks over her shoulder and sees the bear running after them and shouts, "Do what you have to! That bear isn't going to see reason, it's just going to try and hurt us!" As Emma looks over her shoulder, she trips on a tree root that was growing out of the ground and falls. Before she can get up, the bear gains ground on her.

Emma feebly puts her arms up to protect her face from the bear and shuts her eyes, prepared for the worst. The worst doesn't come though. Instead, through her eyelids, Emma sees red light up the area. When she finally dares to opens her eyes she sees the bear on the ground two feet away from her, unmoving.

Wanda runs back to Emma's side, breathless, and asks, "Are you okay?"

Emma can hardly get words out because her body is pumping with adrenaline, but she manages to say, "For the most part. Thanks."

Wanda nods and helps Emma to her feet. "We need to get going, that bear won't be out for too much longer."

"What did you do to it?" Emma asks while feeling around her arms to check for injuries.

"I just disoriented it and knocked it out. Hopefully. We need to get very far from here though before it wakes up."

"I'm assuming he won't be a happy camper when he wakes up?"

"Not at all," Wanda replies with a laugh. She sees some blood beginning to seep through the sleeve of Emma's shirt and says, "We need to dress that wound first though."

She nods and they both sit down for a minute to find, clean, and dress the wound. After that, they both put on their jackets to begin their walk. "You know, that'll leave a fun mark," Emma jokes. "But at least I'll have something to remember this little mission by."

"That you will," Wanda replies as they continue to make their way through the dark forest once more.

The next couple of days pass relatively smoothly for Wanda and Emma. After their chat about possibly using Wanda's powers to contact Vision when their mission was over, the pair got paranoid that Vision could have been tracking them down the whole time. With this in mind, Wanda began to use her powers as minimally as possible.

When Emma wakes up from her sleeping shift, she stretches and says good morning to Wanda. They both have the last of their granola bars before noting that their mission time is finally up. "So we did it?" Emma asks with a smile.

"We did it," Wanda replies gleefully. "We outran and outsmarted them!"

Emma thinks for a second and then smiles with a glint of confidence and mischief in her eye, "Wanna see if we can outdo them some more?"

"By the look on your face, I'm intrigued. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking that we could play a game and really mess with them by going out without a cover, using a debit card, using your powers, whatever. Our new personal mission's goal is to make it back to the compound without them catching us all while traveling like normal. How's that sound?"

"It sounds risky," Wanda says, "but we've already won, so what can it hurt?"

"Exactly. If we make it we can have bragging rights. If we don't, we get a ride home from wherever they catch us. We can't lose at this point." Emma starts packing up her bag for the last time and tells Wanda, "Our first order of business on Mission Plain Sight is finding a truck stop and taking a nice shower. These cleaning wipes I packed have only done so much."

Wanda laughs and agrees with Emma so the pair make their way to the nearest main road and follow it for a while before finding a truck stop that had showers available. Once refreshed, the two of them spot a small family at the counter ready to check out their snacks and drinks. Emma pulls out her wallet and says, "Excuse me, I was just wondering if I paid for your food and some gas money if we could hitch a ride for a little bit with you?"

The woman eyes her suspiciously and asks, "What's the catch?"

Emma puts up her hands, telling her, "No catch. We just need to get a little closer to home."

Wanda sees one of her boys holding a little Captain America shield and adds, "We're Avengers. You'd be aiding in a mission and it would be a big help."

The little boy lights up and begs, "Mommy! Mommy! Please let them come with us!"

She studies the two of them and a look of recognition hits her, so she gives in and nods. "Okay, we'll help you. You'll have to deal with this one talking your ear off though."

"That's fine by us," Wanda replies with a smile as Emma swipes her card on the pin pad at the register.

Emma looks at Wanda and says, "Phase one is a go." As she says this, the little boy and his brother begin jumping up and down, bursting with excitement at being part of an Avengers mission.

Everyone then loads up into the family's minivan and hits the road. While on the road, Wanda and Emma answer questions the boys have, even the silly ones. After a little while, they reach another truck stop when the family has to start driving the opposite way, so Wanda and Emma part ways with the family, promising them to get them something signed by Steve as a thank you gift.

Wanda and Emma enter the new truck stop and ask how far they are from the town the compound was near only to find out they're still a while away. "Man, I didn't realize how far we went," Emma admits sheepishly.

"Well we walked all day some days and running from that bear's territory made a good bit of distance," Wanda replies, picking out a snack from the aisle of sugary foods. As she studies the packages, she says absentmindedly, "You Americans really do like your sugar."

"That we do," Emma replies with a laugh while grabbing a pack of jerky. "But hey these snacks are gonna get us a little closer to the compound. Grab some protein too, I'm not seeing any families in this one, we might need to walk for a bit."

Wanda jokingly groans as she examines the many flavors of jerky on the display. "If we get back and they make us do more training I can't promise no one will get hurt."

Emma laughs and replies, "I'm with you. My body is running on fumes right now, so once we get back I'm crashing and no amount of persuading is waking me up for at least a day."

They walk up to the counter and check out their food, and as they do, the cashier can't help but look at them for a bit longer than she would any other customer. Wanda notices and asks, "Is something wrong?"

The girl shakes her head and says, "No, no, you just look so familiar. Have we met before? I know I've seen you somewhere."

"Sokovia sound familiar?" Wanda asks. When the cashier doesn't answer, Wanda lowers her voice and asks, "How about the Avengers?"

The pieces all fall together in the girl's mind and she smiles from ear to ear. "Man I knew it! You're that chick that can move stuff with her mind! You have no clue how cool my friends and I think you are! I know there haven't been too many missions with you on them, but from what we've seen, you're a total badass!"

Wanda sheepishly smiles at all the praise and Emma elbows her in the ribs, telling her, "See, people love you."

"And you're that reporter chick aren't you? Runs that blog on the Avengers and stuff to do in the city? My friends and I love that you keep everyone updated on what the Avengers are doing!"

"That's me," Emma says with a small smile.

The cashier then asks, "So are you an Avenger too?"

"Technically yes. I haven't been on too many missions myself though. Lots of training to do," she replies with a shrug.

"Don't kid yourself, Emma," Wanda says. She turns to the cashier and continues, "She's humble."

"Girl, why not be proud of that title?"

Emma shrugs. "I guess because I don't have super cool powers or abilities like the rest of the team I feel out of place some days."

"Well, you're out there representing the ordinary people, the little guy. I say good on you, keep on rocking your role," the girl replies, reaching across the counter to give Emma a fist bump. "So what are you two doing around here?"

Wanda answers the question with, "Well, as part of our training, Emma and I have been on the run from the others for the past five days. Now we just need to make it back."

A look of confusion crosses the cashier's face and she asks, "If you're on the run why aren't you paying in cash? Or hiding your faces?" After the impressed look on Wanda's face, she smiles and says, "I've seen a lot of spy movies."

"That's the thing, we've done our allotted time of hiding, now we're seeing if we can outrun them to get back home," Emma tells her. "We started our electronic trail a little while back, and we were hoping to hitch a ride from another family from here, but I'm not seeing anyone. Knowing Natasha, they're probably on the way here right now."

The girl looks at the kitchen and shouts, "Jake, you jump on the register, I'm leaving!"

A young man pops his head out from around the corner and says, "What? Why?"

She jumps across the counter and calls back, "I'm helping these two outrun a professional spy and Captain America! I'll be back tomorrow!"

Wanda and Emma look at each other and laugh while following the girl out of the store and into her car. When they get in, she turns on her music and the three of them get to know each other on the way back to the compound.

About halfway back, the girl, Tessa, gets a call. She answers via her car radio, "Hello?"

"Hey Tess, it's Jake calling from the store. A few minutes ago I think Captain America was in here? He was asking about those girls you were with."

"Well, what'd you tell him?" Tessa asks.

"I said I was in the kitchen the whole time which wasn't a lie, so lying to Captain America isn't on my conscience."

Tessa pumps her fist and shouts, "Jake, you're a real one!"

Emma cheers and says, "Thank you, Jake!" Tessa hangs up the call and Emma looks at her and then the GPS to see how close they were to home. "I think it's time for us to drop another breadcrumb."

"Don't you think all these breadcrumbs may catch up to us?" Wanda asks.

"We've got a good hour on them, if we make it a quick stop it'll be fine. At this point, I'm seeing how much we can piss Sam off because I know he's frustrated that they're always one step behind us."

Tessa takes a look at her gas meter and tells them, "I need to refuel anyways. There's an exit coming up, now's our chance."

Wanda nods. "Let's do it."

The three pull off into a gas station and Emma uses her card to pay for Tessa's gas. "Depending on how serious they're taking this and how fast they may be driving, we should try and make this quick," Emma tells her as she walks inside to get them all some water.

When Emma gets back, Tessa asks, "What if they catch up? What do I do in that situation?"

"Well you may have to outdrive them to get away," Emma jokes.

"Or drive faster than Vis and Sam can fly," Wanda adds. Tessa gets a nervous look on her face and Wanda says, "You wouldn't get hurt of course. They won't be that serious."

"And even if they are, Wanda's got her powers," Emma tells her. "I would be of more assistance but I left my gear at home, so I can help with fancy driving."

Tessa laughs and relaxes while finishing up her refuel. "As long as I'm not gonna get in trouble for doing all of this. I'm probably already on thin ice at work for leaving."

Emma reassures her, "You'll be fine, and as work goes, we can have someone send a letter to excuse you for your absence, saying that your help was critical to mission success. Something like that."

The three load back up into the car and Tessa tells them, "My friends are never gonna believe me."

"Take a picture then," Wanda suggests. "No better proof than a picture. It'll serve as a good memory too." Tessa nods eagerly and takes out her phone to snap a picture of the three of them before they start their speedy drive back to the compound.

After a little while, Tessa pulls over to the side of the road about a mile from the compound to let Emma and Wanda out. "Sorry we can't show you around, Tessa," Emma apologizes.

"It's all good! It was an honor just being a part of this. Now you two get in there and show ‘em you won!"

"How can we repay you?" Wanda asks.

"No need, you two filled up my car and gave me a great story to tell, I don't need anything else."

"Well how about a thank you? We can't say that one enough," Emma tells her with a smile.

"It's no problem," Tessa replies and gives them both a fist bump. "It's been real. I'll see you two around." With that, Tessa gets into her car and drives back down the road they came in on.

"Well, we're almost there," Wanda tells Emma. "What's the plan?"

Emma looks around and takes in the silence of the woods surrounding them. "Let's get in as quietly as possible. Then we can see how long it takes them to find us there."

"That works for me," Wanda tells her as they stroll the mile they had left to the fence of the compound.

When they reach the perimeter, Emma gets on Wanda's back and Wanda uses her powers to get them over the fence. Once over the fence, the perimeter breach is set off and some guards come rushing out led by Rhodes. Emma waves and tells him, "Don't tell them we're back yet. We want them to find us."

Rhodes laughs and says, "Can do. Welcome home you two."

"Thanks," they reply. Seeing the compound and how close they are makes the exhaustion and fatigue set in and their bodies start to feel the weight of the past week taking its toll.

Emma and Wanda make it into the living room area and collapse on the couches, their muscles aching from their adventure. Wanda levitates the TV remote to Emma and she turns on a sitcom for them to watch as they wait for the others to show up at the compound.

Without knowing it, the pair fall asleep while waiting. When the teams of Sam and Vision then Steve and Natasha get back to the compound, they find the girls passed out on the couches. Seeing this, Sam shakes his head and says, "They really did it, they outsmarted us."

"No, no, no, they didn't outsmart us, they outran us. There's a difference, Wilson," Natasha tells him.

"Well whatever you two classify it as, I say it was a successful mission that kept us all on our toes," Steve tells them. He then looks to Vision and says, “You did great too Vision. You were a real help to us on this.”

"Well thank you, Captain Rogers," Vision replies with a smile. "I just wish I could have done more to help."

"You did all you could, Vision," Natasha says. "They were just too off the grid for your tech expertise. Your connection with Wanda's powers helped a lot though."

"I was just glad to have served on the mission," he replies with a nod.

Steve glances over to the girls on the couches and says, "When they wake up we can all get together and discuss the mission to debrief." Everyone nods and heads off in their own directions to wait on Wanda and Emma to wake up.

After a few hours, the sun has set and the pair are still not awake. Steve sees this and chuckles to himself, considering if he should move them to their rooms. Vision silently walks up behind him and asks, "What seems to be on your mind Captain?"

"Oh I was just thinking they would be more comfortable in their beds, but I don't want to disturb them," Steve replies.

"I think they would be too. And if you're worried about them waking while we move them, it is highly improbable due to how exhausted they are after that mission. They will likely stay asleep the whole time."

"And you're sure about that? I don't want them to be upset with us," Steve tells him.

"Almost ninety percent positive," Vision replies. "I can take Wanda and you can take Miss Baker."

Steve nods and the two get the girls from the couches to take them to their rooms. When Steve gets to Emma's door, he opens it and sets her sleeping form on the bed gently. Looking around, he spots Emma's favorite blanket folded on her desk chair and drapes it over her so she could have it when she wakes up. Steve gently squeezes her shoulder before leaving her to rest for the night, unable to help the smile on his face seeing her looking so peaceful.

link to the next part

#fanfic #marvel #captain america #slow burn #steve rogers #romance #fanfiction #friends to lovers #wanda maximoff #marvel fanfic series #avengers fanfiction #steve rogers friends to lovers #steve rogers slow burn #protective steve rogers #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers romance #steve rogers x oc #captain america fic

[mercurygray]

Director's Cut Ask: So I know it's been a while since you wrote it, but I so love the Emma/Canute 1940s AU set within The Darkening Sky 'verse (Lady Emma and Admiral Svendson...dreamy sigh), and I would love to hear a bit more about how you came up with the whole idea and, if you're so inclined, what you saw as the backstory between Lady Emma and the Admiral... ;)

Okay okay okay this is GREAT. Here is an inside scoop on how I usually AU!

So, in their own story, these two characters have their own dynamics and place in the world - they're royals! they're in charge of things! But in the AU, by necessity, there have to be other royals in positions of power. (George VI, Churchill, Chamberlain, pretty critical infrastructure for World War Two.) So they can't be the king and queen, they have to be …something else. Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon is doing a great job as the Queen of England, so Emma has to be close to that, but different. A lady in waiting serving as a kind of social secretary to the Princess Elizabeth puts her in the palace, close to people in power. A widow - perhaps her significantly older husband was lost at Dunkirk. There's been some sort of drama with the matter of her estates, since she's a second wife. She loves her work. Her two boys are still in school. That's her sorted.

Sweden is neutral. Norway's royal family is forced to flee the country (which, by the way, was recently the subject of a great PBS piece, Atlantic Crossing, in which Soren Pilmark plays Haakon VII.) The Netherlands is occupied but their Navy continues to operate out of Allied countries (including a headquarters in London). Denmark is occupied in 1940; the King, Christian X, remains in the country. Citizens of all of these countries work with British Intelligence to use their knowledge of their countries to work against Nazi occupation. There's this big trend of…people in exile, so that's something to play with. Naval power is a key feature in the Viking world, and during World War Two. In addition to being a king, Canute is also in charge of ships, so…he can be an admiral, instead. Still a man of power, just in a slightly different way. (And he needs a last name, because twentieth century, so - Svendson it is.)

Which brings us to…the backstory.

Here is a man who is a guest of Windsor Palace - highly decorated, far away from home, politically very valuable. A guest at a dinner party, perhaps. And he crosses wits at dinner with one of the queen's extremely well-informed ladies. There is…the war, and the complications of her previous marriage, and his current political situation. (And maybe there's still a wife at home in Denmark?) So they are…in love, but careful about it. Both of them are high profile people and having a known relationship could be politically complicated. That doesn't mean they can't have some really nice tension, in the interim.

(As an aside, several invested parties have determined that in this universe Godwin works in military intelligence.)

#director's commentary #all the alternate universes #world war two au

[sage-nebula]

the pokemon company be like *thinly-veiled misogyny*

To be honest, the sexism isn’t even really thinly-veiled if you think about it. Like off the top of my head:

— Professor Juniper was our first female professor, and it took until Gen V to get her. But whereas all the other professors got to stand on their own without needing anyone else, Professor Juniper had to have her father come in to provide answers to various plot occurrences that she didn’t know. IIRC, she also inherited her practice from him, which was also something that the male professors before and after didn’t have to contend with. It’s a miracle that this was averted with Professors Magnolia and Sonia in Gen VIII, both of whom are women.

— Speaking of female professors being screwed over, in Gen VII we’re introduced to Professor Burnet, whose practice specifically focuses on ultra wormholes and disturbances in space-time (which makes sense since she was previously working on the Dream Radar). Given how much of the plot concerns ultra wormholes, you would think that she would be the main professor of the story, or at least play a big part. But you’re wrong! Instead she’s only in one mandatory scene, and then is basically never heard from again. Meanwhile, Kukui shows up all the goddamn time even though his goal (to create a League) is literally meaningless in the scope of the overall plot. (And even that could have been cool if it had delved into the socio-political ramifications of what overthrowing Alola’s current system of government for another one would mean, but now is not the time to get into the failings of Gen VII’s plot. I’ve gone through that enough times.)

— Back to Gen V for a second, we’re also given two rivals in the first of the Unova games: Bianca and Cheren. While Cheren, the male rival, is taken seriously and has it talked up over and over how great of a battler he is, Bianca has her Munna stolen from her halfway through the story and spends the rest of the game talking down on herself and ultimately deciding that her father was right and she really is not cut out to be a Pokémon Trainer. Keep in mind that Bianca was the first mandatory female rival in the games, because while May could be a rival in Gen III if you played as Brendan, if you chose to play as her, both rivals (Brendan and Wally) were male. So on that note, our rivals so far look like:

Gen I: Blue Oak (male)

Gen II: Silver (male)

Gen III: Wally (male), optional May (female), optional Brendan (male)

Gen IV: Barry (male) 

Gen V: Cheren (male), Bianca (female), Hugh (male)

Gen VI: Shauna (female), Tierno (male), Trevor (male), optional Serena (female), optional Calem (male)

Gen VII: Hau (male), Gladion (male)

Gen: Hop (male), Bede (male), Marnie (female)

So, let’s see. We only have two mandatory female rivals (Bianca and Marnie), as well as two optional female rivals (May and Serena). Meanwhile, we have twelve mandatory male rivals, as well as two optional male rivals (Brendan and Calem). To cap this off, while the mandatory male rivals (outside of the useless Kalos ones) are always treated as strong, competent battlers who have important roles in the story, our two mandatory female rivals, well . . .

Bianca: See above

Marnie: Gets battled a whole grand total of two times and has basically zero impact on the plot despite the fact that her brother is the only Gym Leader who didn’t give into Rose’s vision for how Galar should operate and use Dynamax evolution

And even when it comes to the optional ones, since Brendan is treated as the default MC by TPCi, that means May is the one who gives up training to go be a professor like her dad. (Which is the exact thing they basically did to Bianca in Gen V, except she studies under Juniper instead.) Serena at least keeps battling if she’s the rival, but jeez.

So to say there’s definite gender inequality where the rivals are concerned is a bit of an understatement.

— Moving away from the rivals, let’s talk about villains! We didn’t get a female villain until Gen VII with Lusamine, and even then she wasn’t allowed to stay a villain because I guess Game Freak doesn’t want to accept the fact that women can be evil, too. Moreover, all of Lusamine’s achievements come from the men in her life, and all of her motivations revolve around her husband. To spell it out:

- She inherited the Aether Foundation from her grandfather / father, without having founded it herself like we’re at first led to believe.

- Her husband Mohn was the one who discovered how the ultra wormholes work, not her. IIRC, he was also the primary researcher behind Type: Null’s creation.

- The reason why she does what she does is because she’s looking for her missing husband Mohn, with an added dash of “women just go crazy (and abuse their children) without their husbands!!1!!!” thrown in for flavor. 

Compare this to Giovanni, Maxie, Archie, Cyrus, Ghetsis, Colress, Lysandre, and now Chairman Rose, all of whom formed their own organizations (Giovanni inheriting his from his mother is anime only and does not pertain to the games at all) and had their own goals and desires, versus relying on someone else for those goals and desires. And as if Lusamine not being allowed to form her own organization and have her own goals for her own sake wasn’t bad enough, they then had to go and make it even worse in USUM by turning her into a damsel in distress in the Rainbow Rocket plot, depicting her as not only less capable as the male villains, but also less capable than her male subordinate. Gag me.

— On that note, Oleana is sorely underappreciated by basically everyone except the Twilight Wings writers considering she’s the only reason anything Rose did got done, yet got none of the credit for herself. Damn shame.

— Stepping away from the games for a moment, Generations was a hot mess in terms of sexism. First of all, they only ever used the male MCs, pretending that the female ones didn’t exist at all, even in cases where the female MCs are vastly more popular (e.g. May, Dawn, Hilda). Second, most of the episodes focused on male characters from the series, and the ones that didn’t were either there so they could disrespect the best character in the series by not giving her the episode she deserved (Zinnia), or were told from the point of view of a male character despite that it was supposed to be a female character’s story (Emma). And lastly, there was whatever the fuck that mess with Cheryl was. It was animated in a way that made it look like an anime not suitable for anyone under the age of eighteen. Like honestly, what the hell.

— Leaf has been consistently and constantly disrespected all over the franchise. Despite there allegedly being four trainers who left from Pallet Town (counting Ash) in the anime, Leaf has never been seen or mentioned even once throughout the two decades that anime has been running. They had an opportunity to show her in at least a cameo form in the 20th anniversary movie, but they chose not to do that either, adding yet another disappointment from that movie to the list. She had no appearances in Origins, no appearances in Generations, they didn’t do what they should have done in HGSS by making her the rival atop Mt Silver if you chose to play as Lyra, she wasn’t a skin for Pokémon Trainer in Super Smash Bros. until Ultimate, I’m pretty sure they never made an Amiibo for her either, they replaced her with her Special counterpart in LGPE and her characterization absolutely bonkers to boot, and back to Masters, SS Leaf doesn’t have the Main Character designation for the theme skills that SS Red has, and is also routinely left out of any story bits that feature Red or Blue. It’s a miracle she was even included in the Battling Legends event or whatever it was. As far as TPCi seems to be considered, Kanto only has one main character and that’s Red.

— Oh and speaking of Iris, they gave her the Gym Leader theme designation instead of the Champion designation, instead choosing to act like Alder is Unova’s only Champion when he, no offense, didn’t really fucking do anything in Gen V. :’) We hate to see it.

— In the current run of the anime, the two boys (Ash and Gou) have gotten to go around and have adventures for ~50 episodes while the girl (Koharu) has had to stay home and go to school. You can argue, “She wanted that!” all you want, but you have to remember that she only wants what the writers tell her to want, and the writers said the boys get to have adventures while the girls stay home. She finally has an Eevee and will presumably go on adventures now, but we’ll have to wait and see. And don’t get me wrong, I like Journeys and I love Gou as a character, but it is absolutely a Choice to not have a female lead present in the adventures at all and it’s one that the writers deliberately made for whatever reason.

— On that note, let’s look at Ash’s female companions, shall we? 

Misty: A Gym Leader who has a vague goal (water pokémon master) and is largely out of focus during her run as a primary companion. She had no rivals or in-series (as in, concrete ones she could accomplish before leaving the main cast) goals of her own.

May: A coordinator. Does have rivals and has a story, which is nice, but battling isn’t her focus.

Dawn: Another coordinator. Even more focus than May (she was written as a deuteragonist), but also not primarily focused on battling.

Iris: A battler (her Gym Leader / Champion Status is written out) who actually does get decent focus and a cool arc surrounding her connection to dragons. 

Serena: A performer, which is a girls-only career path that doesn’t have battling in it at all, unlike contests. Does have a goal, but much of her character is written around her crush for Ash and at the end of the series she says that he is her goal.

Lillie, Lana, Mallow: Honestly I didn’t watch enough of SM to have an opinion on how these three were handled outside of hating how Lusamine didn’t get to be a villain in the anime either.

Koharu: See above, she’s only just now getting to be involved with things.

Now, don’t get me wrong: There’s nothing wrong with being a coordinator (and we do see male coordinators too, such as Drew and Harley), and I think that both May and Dawn are wonderful characters. But it does make me feel some kind of way that the female characters were often given the “girly” sidequest while the male main character got to go for the Gym badges, especially since AG and DP went on for a good chunk of years. None of the ladies so far have been treated as badly as Serena was (that performer stuff is just nasty, I’m not sorry), but again, it’s a deliberate choice and something to think about, especially since I feel the only reason they didn’t go that route with Iris is because of her Gym Leader / Champion status in the games. 

I could probably think of more examples of the casual sexism in the series if I thought about it, but this is just from the top of my head. As you can see, there is a lot. All of this being said, and I’m putting major emphasis on this since I don’t want anyone to get it twisted—

I love Pokémon with my entire heart, flaws and all. It has been my hyperfixation for 22 years and that is not going to change any time soon. So DO NOT even dare suggest that I hate Pokémon, or shouldn’t play it, or anything like that. I will be playing Pokémon on my deathbed and nothing and no one will stop me.

But that being said, I criticize because I care. Because I wish it would do better. Pokémon is for everyone. It’s for boys, girls, nonbinary folks, and people all over the gender spectrum. But the treatment of its female characters and the abundance of favoritism shown toward the male characters leaves a lot to be desired (though at least girls are at the table, whereas trans folk are relegated to background NPCs and nonbinary folk are nowhere to be seen :/). I think Pokémon can get better—Magnolia and Sonia felt like a proper apology for how Juniper in particular was shafted, not to mention Burnet—but it’s got a long way to go.

(And also, yes, you’ve understood this right. Twilight Wings is the only anime series to not fuck up at all when it comes to sexism. You go, Twilight Wings. Four for you, Twilight Wings.)

#pokemon critical #pokemon criticism #pokemon negative #let me know if I should use any other tags #long post for ts #stabbymattress #the treatment of Ash's female companions from best to worst has been: #Dawn - May - Iris - Misty - Koharu - Serena #and the Alola girls somewhere in the middle ig I honestly didn't watch enough of that series to know

[benisasoftboi]

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel IV:

WHY ARE THEY CALLED CLASS VII?

WHO ARE CLASS VI?

Anyway - I started playing Trails in August, and I’ve finally, finally caught up (yes I know Hajimari I can’t read Japanese) and like... what do I do now?

It’s a fantastic series and I’m so, so glad I picked up Trails in the Sky on a whim last summer

This game was long. Is it longer than the other ones? It felt that way

The best part was the first chapter because Rean wasn’t in it and yeah I still don’t like him!!! But seriously, it was astonishing how much more I was enjoying things without him

I audibly groaned when goddamn bonding points returned in the second chapter

Actually that was a lie, the best part was Any Time My Angel Estelle Was On Screen

I missed her so much

I let her get the final hit of the game against the boss because she’s the best

Speaking of angels I caught three Wazy cameos!!!

Also Gilbert came back and if there had been a camera on me... I quite literally teared up a little I was so thrilled

I hate the curse it is dumb and rips all the nuance out of the characters. People do not need a goddamn evil curse to be swayed to extremes by overzealous nationalism. Trails I know you are better than this, I played Sky and Crossbell

Fav new location was Milsante (liked Alster too, though). I really like going to tiny little outposts and villages in JRPGs, they make the world feel more real

What the hell was up with the Osgiliath Basin? As in, Giliath Osborne??? Is this going to be a Hajimari thing?

Oh yeah, HOT TAKE, Alan Richard >>> Giliath Osborne. I was reading an LP of Sky FC while playing the game, and Richard’s motivation is clearer and less over-complex, more sympathetic, and he’s just generally a far more human character

Alan Richard best political antagonist in the series fight me (Rufus Albarea distant second)

For best supernatural/cult-y antagonist I’m stuck between Weissmann and Joachim. Or maybe Campanella lol

Oh uh speaking of characters named Georg I will never not hate everything about the George and Angie subplot. Angie should have died and George should have stayed evil, or it shouldn’t have happened at all. As it is, it was a complete waste of time - you could take it all out and NOTHING would change

Angie would have been the perfect character to sacrifice as well, she’s just important enough that it would feel like ‘oh shit’s getting real’ but not so important that it’s unbelievable

(like Olivier. I could not fully believe they’d actually kill him, and the moment Laura told me ‘they never found the bodies’ I was like, oh, so they’re definitely all still alive, cool)

I mean, it would be a Bury Your Gays, but honestly... there are things I like about Angie, but is anyone really looking to her as a lesbian role model? I hope not. Yikes

So yeah I guess I hate George now for getting my hopes up and then being boring. Shame

I did the Towa romantic ending, of course. I genuinely think she’s the best match for Rean, of all his love interests

Chaaaracters

Rean: Still the least interesting person. Not a good sign when I’m sadder about the robot dying than the main protagonist yeeting himself into the sun (side note, the two endings thing? Unnecessary and dumb). There is no reason girls would like him this much, blah blah I’ve said it all before. Liked his new hair. Honestly would have respected it if they’d had the balls to kill him off. I basically never even used him in battle lol, Juna became my new team leader

Juna: Honourary protagonist imo. I’ve changed my mind since CS3, she’s my fav new Class VII without a doubt. She’s just really good and full of personality and depth and OH GOD WHY IS SHE CRUSHING ON REAN WHY FALCOM WHY

Kurt: pls falcom don’t try to force this aroace king into a nonsense ship with Sully I liked her but what are you doing, anyway Kurt is great and he got cool new swords and he got to hang out with Mueller, who I adore, I love Kurt

Altina: I also love this little bunny. Her relationship with Millium is so lovely and seeing her grow and become her own person made me so happy and OH GOD WHY IS SHE CRUSHING ON REAN WHY FALCOM I LITERALLY SAID SHE HAS THE BEST RELATIONSHIP WITH REAN OF ALL THE GIRLS BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T DO THAT IN THE LAST GAME WHY DO YOU HATE ME????

Musse: Yeah I’m still not sold on Musse but I liked her better this time! I like a smart, confident girl! Just stop being weird about your teacher and we’d be golden!

Ash: Good boy. Sweet boy. Ash and Joshua game now Falcom

Alisa: Still cannot believe she’s presented as the deuteragonist by the marketing - but you know what? Solid arc, she got some closure with her parents, maybe she and Jusis can get together for tea and complain about their messed up families. She’s never going to be a character I like all that much, but I don’t dislike her. I just wish she hadn’t clearly been written as ‘Rean’s love interest’ before anything else

Elliot: I love Elliot, I really do. I mean, I wish he hadn’t been flanderised to the point of speaking in music puns half the time, but he’s a solid, consistently pleasant character

Laura: Goddamnit Falcom please give Laura anything resembling an emotion regarding her dad dying. Also you tell me she’s kind of oblivious and stuff but we never see it. I like Laura but she really could have been more

Machias: I love Machias, fight me fan base. He’s so funny to me. It feels like, at this point, all he really wants is a nice office job, near a nice coffee shop, where he files papers and sometimes gets to yell at corrupt rich people, but NO, he has to run about in dungeons and fight monsters, and are you FUCKING kidding me, ANOTHER crazy snake cultist!?!? It’s great, he’s the only one who’s just done with it all and love it

I low key headcanon that he and Jusis are kinda dating at this point, but we don’t see anything because the games are from Rean’s POV and they don’t want to tell him because they know he’d be weird about it

Jusis: I still really like Jusis! He’s interesting, and his surrogate brother-sister relationship with Millium is so sweet (yes, I saw that bouquet catch, Falcom, and I hate it, stop it, gross). Awesome to see him confront his brother, obviously I let him have the final blow. Rufus was a great antagonist. Jusis has some of the best development over the games, and is also really fun to use in battle (apparently I am the only one who feels this way though :/ ah well)

Fie: I was surprised by how much I liked Fie’s confession scene, seeing as I don’t like Rean/Fie at ALL. Fie finally gets to have feelings about her dad, and we see her working with Zin at the end! Very happy for Fie, best girl

Emma: Ahhh I still find Emma kinda dull and exposition heavy, but she also had a nice arc, I liked her relationship with Rose, all good

Rose beat me at Vantage Masters for 40 minutes lol

Gaius: It’s still extremely funny to me that Gaius became one of the most important people on the continent *off screen*. And he still doesn’t really do anything. He has his own airship now, I guess. Justice for Gaius

Sara: Kind of faded from relevance after CS1, but I do really like her all the same. And I loved her speech at the end

Crow: At the end his hair got darker and everyone was like ‘you’re back to normal!’ and I literally did not realise he was meant to have been looking different

But anyway Crow is a really good character and I literally never didn’t enjoy him. I love the bit where Jusis and Machias team up to call him a cringy edgelord, because they are right. Crow is fantastic

Towa: Towa has never done anything wrong in her life and all of Erebonia should pay for her therapy

Patrick: I cannot believe how much I love Patrick now, compared to CS1. He’s just such a sweetie. Good boy

Elise: Take her to the sun with you, Rean. Pointless character

Alfin: Is she the heir now? I hope so. She’s such a funny character, not my fav, but I enjoyed her

Angie and George: Should have died, moving on

Celine: I love her, but did she really need a human form? No, no she did not. Great character though

Tita: Special mention, because you know what? I do not like this version of Tita! Like I said, I was reading FC recently and she was so much better there! Now a third of her lines are just her saying ‘Agate’ in various different tones. And it feels like she’s lost a lot of her confidence, where’s the little girl who followed us up Carnelia Tower? I would have preferred them to just not bring her back at all

Duvalie: Haha I love Duvalie she’s great. Stop implying that she’s crushing on Rean. Literally WHY would she. Ugh

Rose: Everything about Rose is great, I would play a full game about her backstory. More Rose

Ships!

Obviously I like Machias/Jusis because I am BASIC

I didn’t like Olivier/Schera back in Sky, but you know what? They sold me. It’s cute (even if I feel Schera’s character was neglected in favour of Being A Love Interest, sigh). Though I’m not sure when Olivier made the switch from ‘Schera is one of many people I flirt with’ to ‘Schera is my one and only’?

But am I the only person who’s kinda on the Oliver/Schera/Mueller train? I’m not normally into OT3s, but Olivier and Mueller have one of the best dynamics in the series, and Schera and Mueller would probably get along great if they were ever allowed to properly interact. And you know Olivier would be down

Like I say, I do not like Jusis/Millium at all, it’s not a ‘I like another ship better’ thing, it just massively skeeves me out because of the maturity difference 

Ash/Tatiana was unexpected but adorable

Patrick/Elise, because I want Patrick to be happy and Rean to be mad

Also Elise/Alfin, sorry Patrick

I hope Anton and Sharon really do get together. Sharon deserves unconditional love and Anton deserves a happy ending

Sharon also deserves to hook up with Sara like once

I also sort of feel like Sara/Claire would be fun

I’ve actually like Gaius/Linde from CS1, I’m happy it’s kind of a thing now!

If Lila/Maybelle is the LET’S GO LESBIANS Trails ship, then Emily/Theresia is LET’S GO BABY LESBIANS

Vincent/Margarita. They’re both horrible people. At least this way no one else has to deal with them

Joining my Kloe/Josette in the ‘crack ships I love that have very, very little canon basis’ is Fritz/Kairi, based on their interactions in that one mission and then that they’re eating together at Mishelam. It’s pretty much just a height differences thing, lol

Miles/Elnan. I have literally no justification for this

Other stuff There was this one scene where Gaius says how nice it is that Mueller cares about Olivier and Mueller just snaps his head round and the scene ends, and I don’t think it was meant to be funny but I laughed for like a full minute

The intro to the music at Mishelam is extremely creepy to me

I love the Pom Party mini game a whole lot

There were... a lot of typos in the second half of the script. It’s massive, so I’m not mad, but I hope there’s a patch at some point

BERYL BERYL BERYL BERYL BERYL I love her

Uh if we’re still doing romance next arc please give us a gay option, no Crow did not count

I hate divine knight battles! I really do! That last one against Ishmelga was really hard and not in a fun way! In a ‘this is bullshit fake difficulty’ way. Please don’t bring them back!

The true final battle, though? FANTASTIC, now THAT is a final boss! One of the best in the series, like that’s such a fun gimmick!

I got it trapped in break state and spammed Heaven’s Kiss/Quick Star, because I’m a strategic gamer 

I am embarrassed by how long it took me to recognise Lucy

KLOE CAMEO!!!

Oh and I assume Kaela is going to be important next arc, since it’s in Calvard?

I love Thomas??? And Rosine???

Why was the grandmaster reveal hidden behind watching the ending twice, why do that? Great scene, though

My theory is that she is Aidios, I will cling to this for as long as possible

I probably have like a million other things to say that I’m just not remembering right now. Look forward to random shouts into the void about it in upcoming weeks, followers

I really enjoyed this overall, despite the problems I mentioned above. It was just fun, I like the cast, the gameplay is great... just a solid game

Trails is a really fantastic franchise - not perfect, but what is? I’ve had such a fun time with it over the past half-year, and I cannot wait to see what happens next. Thank you, Falcom, the localisation team, the VAs - stellar job all around

This is normally where I’d end on a joke but like. Nah, I’m just happy. Cue ‘The Whereabouts of Light’

#long post #cold steel #cold steel 4 #trails of cold steel 4 #cs4 #cs4 spoilers #cold steel 4 spoilers #trails of cold steel #kiseki #kiseki series #trails series #:)

[qsdblogging]

Top 10 TV Shows You Need To Watch Right Now

Now, I watch a lot of television. I always have and frankly, I’m much more of a binge watcher than a wait-around-for-a-week-for-the-next-episode kind of watcher. 

And with everything the past few months, there wasn’t all that much to do other than start rewatching some of my favorite shows and some that I’ve never seen or haven’t seen in a while.

So, that’s what I did and here I am giving you some recommendations for shows to add to your own watching lists. 

Warning, though, some of these don’t end the best way and may end up more as a disappointment. I’ll leave that up to you to decide.

I. Fringe.

I cannot recommend this show enough to people. It’s got five full seasons (although the last could’ve been a little better, but it’s honestly not that bad of a final season) of high-risk scenarios revolving around almost unexplainable phenomena regarding a tear in the fabric of reality. It deals with experiments that gives superpowers (basically), advanced technology, and a parallel universe. 

Plus, there’s a cow.

What more could you want from a show?

Some familiar faces that are in the main cast or show up at some point include John Noble, who you may recognize from Sleepy Hollow and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Lance Reddick, who was in The Wire, White House Down, American Horror Story, and played Charon in the John Wick franchise, Leonard Nimoy, who you should know from the original Star Trek series, and Anna Torv from Mindhunter. 

II. Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt for the Bone Collector.

Now, if you know crime books, you may know exactly what this is based off of. If not, fear not, I am here to tell. This series (which, like a lot of the others down the list, unfortunately, got cancelled and won’t get to see a second season) was based off of The Bone Collector, a first in a series of novels by Jeffery Deaver. 

If you like crime shows, you should definitely give this a shot. Don’t let the fact that it’s only one season stop you.

Things get pretty wild in just one season as it revolved around a retired forensic criminologist, who had been trying to catch the Bone Collector only to get injured, that gets back into the game three years later when an ambitious young detective is determined to help solve the case when a new body shows up.

You might even recognize a face or two, like Arielle Kebbel (the ambitious young detective) from her role as Lexi in The Vampire Diaries and Olivia Charity in Midnight, Texas, and Russell Hornsby (the retired forensic criminologist) from Grimm, The Hate U Give, Proven Innocent, and The Affair.

III. Manifest.

Luckily, this show is said to be getting a third season and so far, isn’t going to get cancelled. It focuses on passengers from Flight 828, who show up five years after their plane went missing. Some passengers start experiencing what they call ‘callings’ and try to figure out if they were chosen for some sort of duty that the callings led them too, but things get a little confusing when someone who wasn’t on a flight seems to have a year missing of their own life after being deemed missing.

Things get a little weird and dangerous along the way, and not everyone is happy about how things turn out.

It’s pretty interesting and I’m really looking forward to what else they come up with. There’s a few familiar faces that play a part in the show that includes Daryl Edwards, who you may recognize from the first season of Daredevil, Ellen Tamaki who is also in the reboot of Charmed, Athena Karkanis, who’s been in The Expanse and Lost Girl, and Josh Dallas, who one may recall playing Prince Charming in Once Upon a Time, and Fandral in Thor.

It’s a rather good show to get lost in and I definitely recommend giving it a go.

IV. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

If you don’t have an idea as to what this show is, I don’t know what to say. The title kind of gives it away. It’s the only Marvel Show (as of now since none of the shows in production have come out as of yet) to technically be connected to the MCU itself.

That’s found in one of the main characters, Phil Coulson, who you’d recognize from Captain Marvel, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, and The Avengers. Plus, Cobie Smulders (Maria Hill) and Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury) both give a cameo in the show. 

The show was rumored to have been set in a different, but similar, timeline to that of the MCU movies, but I don’t know for sure if it’s true or not. 

It follows its own set of issues, including a deeper dive into the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., issues with HYDRA, and so on and so forth. The last season, which I honestly cried during, gives such good twists and callbacks to previous seasons and the MCU movies that you can’t help but enjoy how it’s handled.

As a show, it probably has one of the best final seasons possible and I highly recommend giving the full seven seasons a watch if you haven’t already.

V. Primeval.

Now, if you like dinosaurs, this is a show for you. It’s BBC, so obviously everyone has an accent. It gave a run of five seasons (which is kind of funny because I didn’t realize that until just now writing this as the show is listed as number five on the list) with different episode amounts. 

The show centers around anomalies that seem to open up a window to the very distant past of Earth when dinosaurs still roamed the land. It causes a lot of issues, especially if one person has anything to do with it.

It’s pretty interesting and honestly has got some great characters (my personal favorite is Captain Becker, played by Ben Mansfield) and while it can get pretty serious, it’s also pretty entertaining. It’s one of the three shows on this list to get to end on a good-ish note. (AKA, no cliffhangers!)

Obviously, I highly recommend giving it a shot. It’s kind of the point of this list.

VI. Terra Nova.

Now, like Primeval, this show technically has to do with dinosaurs. Dinosaurs aren’t the main focus, but they do play a part in this one season (because cancellations) story. 

Terra Nova is focused on both the future and the past. In the distant future (2149), the Earth is dying. A group of people, researchers, and military as well as some of their family members, are sent to the past (85 million years) to inhabit Terra Nova, a colony of humans given a second chance to build civilization. 

So, obviously, dinosaurs are going to make an appearance now and then. And unfortunately, the show only got one season and ends on a cliffhanger. Which I hate, because I really enjoy this show and wish it had been able to at least get a second season.

Plus, there are some familiar faces amongst the cast. Jason O’Mara, who plays one of the main cast members, played Jeffrey Mace in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. Christine Adams, who plays Lynn Pierce in Black Lightning. Allison Miller, who played Sonya in 13 Reasons Why. And Naomi Scott, who is known for her roles in Lemonade Mouth (one of my all-time favorite DCOMs) and Aladdin. And this was just to name a few of the cast members. 

Shame it got cancelled, truly, but I recommend giving it a shot.

VII. MTV’s Scream.

I think you can figure out the basis of this show. While it doesn’t have anything to do directly with the movie franchise, it is kind of similar and a lot of the characters reflect those from the show. Neve Campbell even said that if the show did well, she would be willing to do a cameo.

It revolves (at least the first two seasons as season three is an entirely different set of cast and premise that I refuse to watch because of that) around Emma Duval and her group of friends as they’re picked off one by one by a serial killer going around town. Things get bloody and suspicions arise amongst the crew when things are revealed as the show continues, but things eventually work out in the end.

And personally, I really enjoyed the show even when the second season ended on a cliffhanger. I have theories about that cliffhanger, however, so watch out for a possible post regarding it. 

I highly recommend giving it a chance if you haven’t seen it. 

VIII. The Society.

Now, the title doesn’t give you much. A group of teenagers, who were sent off on a trip, suddenly are dropped back off in their town to find it completely empty aside from themselves. They have to form their own society to survive and figure things out.

Once you know that, it makes a little more sense.

It seems really similar to the Pied Piper tale, but it doesn’t seem like we’re going to really know for sure. Season 2 had been given a go-ahead, but not too long ago Netflix announced the cancellation of the show.

That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the first season like I do. Plus, if you’re a fan of Supernatural and the character of Claire Novak, Kathryn Newton plays one of the main roles in this show.

It’s a shame the show got cancelled, especially on a cliffhanger, but what can we do?

IX. The Mysteries of Laura.

Laura Diamond, a Homicide Detective, cracks case after case while trying to raise twin boys and locking horns with her less than helpful Police Detective ex-husband. At least, this is according to IMBD and frankly, it’s not really wrong. 

For two seasons, it’s packed with comedy and crime. It’s more of the former, but it still gets pretty serious every now and then, and unfortunately ends on a cliffhanger. 

However, some cast members may be familiar. Like Josh Lucas, who voices Home Depot commercials (and trust me, it made my family laugh when we first heard one after watching the show), Laz Alonso who plays MM in The Boys, and Debby Ryan, from Disney Channel. 

If you like light-hearted crime shows (like Brooklyn-Nine-Nine) you should definitely give this a watch.

X. Warrior Nun.

As far as I know, this show has been renewed for a season two. I’m really hoping for it because it’s honestly kind of interesting. You can kind of tell by the title what it may be, but I’ll dive a little deeper.

After waking up in a morgue, Ava, an orphaned teen, discovered she now possesses superpowers as the chosen Halo Bearer for a secret sect of demon-hunting nuns. (Taken from IMDB). Interesting, right?

With characters like Shotgun Mary, Sister Beatrice, and Sister Lilith, you know the show’s going to be interesting. But the premise is pretty interesting on it’s own too.

There’s even a character called JC, who apparently has nothing to do with Jesus Christ, but I still like referring to him as such because it’d be pretty funny if that’s how it turns out. Also, someone gets beat up with a whole chicken at some point.

It’s only got the one season so far, but it’s pretty funny and action packed. Like everything on this list, I definitely think you should watch it and find out for yourself if you want to add it to your list if you haven’t already.

#tvshows #watchlist #warriornun #fringe #mtvscream #thesociety #primeval #terranova #themysteriesoflaura #aos #agentsofshield #manifest #lincolnrhyme #qsdblogging #qsdbloggingpopculture #qsdpopculture #findingqsd

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#230-221)

#230: Dschinghis Khan -- Dschinghis Khan (Germany 1979)

"Die Hufe ihrer Pferde, die peitschten im Sand Sie trugen Angst und Schrecken in jedes Land Und weder Blitz noch Donner hielt sie auf"

"The hoofs of their horses, they lashed in the sand They carried fear and horror in every country And neither flash nor thunder stopped them"

One of my favorite songs to jam to is Boney M's "Rasputin". A disco-influenced song about the life of "Russia's greatest love machine", it's energetic while telling that of a myth. I mention this because Dschinghis Khan is compared to this often, in all the ways.

Only this time, it's about the great conqueror Chinghis Khan, who took over the whole universe (and lasted for a very long time). From how he struck fear across the steppe to fathering seven children in one night, he is seen as the embodiment of masculinity.

While entertaining, sometimes I'm put off by the gimmickry. It can be argued that it wouldn't age that well today, because it can be seen as culturally appropriative or mocking Mongolian culture. But for what it's worth, it's enjoyable and still a classic today.

Personal and actual ranking: 4th/19 in Jerusalem

#229: Louisa Baïleche -- Monts et Merveilles (France 2003)

“Oh, mon amour Où es-tu, mon amour?” “Oh, my love Where are you, my love?”

A definite case of love at first listen for me—Monts et Merveilles is a calming ballad, albeit with sad lyrics about the end of a relationship. The instrumentation is quite nice; it reminds me of songs that stood out on the charts during that time. It also had the "ethnic style" percussion in the bridge, which made me think that France Televisions wanted to mix what worked in the last two years (ballads) with the ethnic sounds from the 1990s (as Louisa is half Kablye, an Algerian ethnic group)

Despite it, it got a pretty low result—though it may be because 2003 was a stronger year songwise compared to the two years that came before it. Or it maybe because of the hair getting into her face that took away from the experience...

Personal ranking: 5th/26 Actual ranking: 18th/26 in Riga

#228: Hakol Over Habibi -- Halayla (Israel 1981)

"הלילה, הלילה, יהיה זה הלילה נאמר דברים שלא אמרנו מעולם"

"Tonight, tonight, it will be the night We’ll say things we’ve never said before"

On a random note, whenever I would search up Idan Raichel's "Hakol Over", Hakol Over Habibi would be one of the first search items that pop up. I would completely ignore it until now, when they actually participated in Eurovision!

That said, Halayla is very groovy song which plays with the disco vibe of the 1970s and the highly energetic choreography that would define 1980s Israeli Eurovision entries. The instrumentation is quite awesome, with the mix of piano, strings, and I think accordion setting up the vibe. (And it switches well from minor to major and back again , which can go awry when done wrong).

The members seem to have a ball on stage, and Kikki looks beautiful in her dress, which was fitted that way because she was pregnant at the time!

Personal ranking: 5th/20 (though it jumps around often...) Actual ranking: 7th/20 in Dublin

#227: Wind -- Laß die Sonne in dein Herz (Germany 1987)

"Manchmal bist du traurig und weißt nicht warum Tausend kleine Kleinigkeiten machen dich ganz stumm Du hast fast vergessen wie das ist, ein Mensch zu sein Doch du bist nicht allein"

"Sometimes you feel sad and you don’t know why Thousands of little reasons are making you dumb You nearly forgot what it’s like to be a human being But you are not alone"

Wind has the interesting distinction of participating three times and coming in second twice out of those three. The first one, "Fur Alle" was seen as such as a big contender that there were bets made against it winning. And then it didn't.

Laß die Sonne in dein Herz didn't come that close to winning in 1987, but I can argue it's the better song of the the three.

It catches you right away with the reggae influences, which creates a relaxed vibe throughout the song. It builds up well with every key change--it does get repetitive at times (especially with the choruses), but never boring. And while it shares a similar theme to Fur Alle, it doesn't come off as either derivative or charitys-single like.

(That said, I did grow to like Fur Alle eventually, but this one was more instantaneous.)

Personal ranking: 7th/22 Actual ranking: 2nd/22 in Brussels

#226: Charlotte Perrelli -- Hero (Sweden 2008)

“This is a story of love and compassion Only heroes can tell.”

The better Charlotte song, in my opinion. The song she won with, “Take Me to Your Heaven” is a complete vintage track, almost influenced by ABBA-nostalgia going on at the time. “Hero” , while still on the same schlager vein, modernizes the production a little bit, to the point I imagine it would be a good pop song of that era.

Alongside that, Hero has some compelling lyrics, one which could summarize the hero's journey in general. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody were to write a Eurovision jukebox musical, they would use this in some format.

That may be the case on why l like it better, but it could also be because it should’ve done better in the contest. The fact the jury wildcard saved Charlotte is a reason why they're around, but the fact there was a wildcard which kicked out the actual tenth placer (North Macedonia's Let Me Love You) could be totally flawed too.

Personal ranking: 6th/43 Actual ranking: =18th/25 (with France) in Belgrade

#225: Carlos Paião -- Playback (Portugal 1981)

“Podes não saber cantar nem sequer assobiar, Com certeza que não vais desafinar, Em play-back, em play-back, em play-back,”

“Maybe you don't know how to sing or even how to whistle But you won't sing out of tune for sure, In playback, in playback, in playback”

This is so modern and infectious it’s unbelievable. From the introduction to Carlos’ biting lyrics to the choreography, it makes one wonder why it got neglected in the voting. 1981 was a strong year, sure, but this song is definitely one of the best of that field.

Playback, as the title suggests, is about the pervasiveness of lip-synching in the music industry. One day, nobody will have to learn how to sing because the playback will save them. They can all focus on the performance without taking note of the song.

It's eerily relevant to Eurovision today, considering we don't use live music anymore and backing vocals can be mimed. I have mixed feelings about the latter, because one side argues it allows different genres of music to appear, but the other argues it reduces artistic credibility. I prefer having live vocals; if a delegation wants to use them on the track (e.g. looping), it should be on a case-by-case basis.

Maybe that's why it somehow made the ESC250 the last two years...

Personal ranking: 4th/20 Actual ranking: =18th/20 (with Turkey) in Dublin

#224: Emma -- La mia città (Italy 2014)

“E dimmi se c’è davvero una meta O dovrò correre per la felicità”

“And tell me if there really is a destination Or I have to run for happiness”

The black sheep of Italy’s post-comeback output, and coincidentally the only song completely chosen internally. That being said, La mia citta is still a good song, and for me it’s better than some of the fan-favorites out there.

Admittedly, I prefer the punchy verses to the chorus, with the latter reminding me of something out of P!nk's discography, but I revel on Emma’s energy and her letter to the city of Rome. We have struggles about the place we are from, but still try to sing its praises when we can!

The staging was a bit tacky at times, but I did like the aesthetics of it—particularly her laurel wreath. Her costume had a good concept also, but is also overdone it in terms of the bejeweled top.

(As for the Sanremo winner that year, Contravento, it feels like a bit of a grower. The clarinet intro really takes one in, but there has to be a whimsical, sweet staging to accompany the hopeful song. Had they done so, a left-side finish would've waited for them)

Personal ranking: 6th/37 Actual ranking: 21st/26 in Copenhagen

#223: Brigitta -- Open Your Heart (Iceland 2003)

“Everything you share with me Turns a little darkness into light And that is how we’re meant to be Truth will keep the light shining brighter”

Also known as, the woman who originally came from Husavik! The difference is that Birgitta was the lead singer of the group Irafar. Open Your Heart reminds me of songs that end up on DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie) soundtracks—it can actually work in the end, but also in the beginning to introduce the characters and/or their circumstances. The random running order really helped it with being first, haha! Beyond that, it's an optimistic song, helped with the guitar influences which ground it in the era. Plus, the production and lyrics add to this feel, encouraging even the shiest to open up their feelings. Also, I like the flowery aesthetic that Birgitta has, from one in her hair to the larger one (which I think is real?) on her microphone. Personal ranking: 4th/26 Actual ranking: 8th/26 in Riga

#222: Tomas Ledlin -- Just nu! (Sweden 1980)

“Han vill dra iväg, kanske ner till Paris Och hitta äventyret på något vis Inte sitta här på stans konditori Och låta tankarna, bara fladdra förbi” “He wants to go away, perhaps down to Paris And find adventure somehow And not just sitting here at the local café Just letting the thoughts flutter by” The 1980s saw the genre New Wave come to vogue, and Just Nu was a valiant attempt on the genre, especially considering the direction Eurovision would go later. From the opening notes, I got the punkish notes from the instrumentation, and the lyrics definitely add to the feeling of being free from societal expectations, crying out "right now"! (which is funny, because I learned Romanian at one point and nu means no in the language. So I keep thinking it's "just no!" against conformity) Tomas also shows quite the attitude on stage--he just struts into the stage with a boyish charm and kickstarts the song. With his looks and usage of the microphone stand, he portrays this rebellious character well, though the orchestration could’ve been improved with the strings and flute. Personal ranking: 2nd/19 Actual ranking: 10th/19 in Den Haag

#221: Lea Sirk -- Hvala, ne! (Slovenia 2018)

“Moje ime je Lea in/Za vas imam nov lik!” “My name is Lea/ And I have a new character for you!”

I love the opening lines for this song—it immediately sets the tone and has a strong statement alongside it. She's Lea, and she won't let anything down on She asserts that she can’t be sold out, and has a great attitude to accompany the trap beat, which reminds me of a K-pop song for some reason. The staging fits the song to a T--though it didn't need any changes from the NF, haha. As for the fake break, I don't have any strong opinions on it, but it definitely kept up interest for the song. A nicer touch was the Portuguese line in the end. Either way, it was a surprise qualifier in its semi that year, and it was one surprise that I greatly welcomed. Hvala da!

Personal ranking: 8th/43 Actual ranking: 22nd/26 GF in Lisbon

#esc 250 #esc top 250 #esc germany #esc france #esc israel #esc sweden #esc portugal #esc italy #esc iceland #esc slovenia #three minutes to eternity #eurovision song contest

[wolfsnape]

Mes meilleures lectures - 2019 !

 Ça y est, c’est 2020 !! J’ai pas lu beaucoup l’année dernière (38 livres sur un objectif de 50), parce qu’avec l’arrivée de la prépa concours, ça s’est vite transformé en lectures obligatoires !

Mais j’ai lu suffisamment pour vous faire un petit top, riche en émotions <3

Encore une fois, il a beaucoup été question de drame et d’aventure, mais aussi de tendresse, de nature, de poésie, et beaucoup beaucoup de vulnérabilité

Quasiment tous les livres de ce top on rejoint ma liste de livres préférés de tous les temps !

1. Rebecca Makkai, The Great Believers

"He’d be the world’s luckiest man to stand here at the end of it all, to be the one left, trying to remember. The unluckiest too.”                          

Clairement LE meilleur livre que j’ai lu cette année. Il m’a arraché le coeur littéralement. On suit Yale, directeur d’une galerie d’art gay closeted, et son groupe d’amis, au moment où l’épidémie du SIDA éclate aux Etats-Unis, jusqu’en 2015. Probablement un des meilleurs livres que j’ai lu de ma VIE, vraiment, lisez le ! (j’ai regardé Philadelphia la même semaine si vous voulez tout savoir)

2. Jeff Vandermeer, Annihilation / Authority / Acceptance

“And when you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. Desolation tries to colonize you.”

J’ai mis les trois tomes parce que cette trilogie est un ensemble juste incroyable. J’avais vu le film que j’avais trouvé esthétiquement très beau, mais dont on ne voyait pas trop le fond. La zone X est apparue de nulle part et renferme un écosystème surnaturel entier. Des scientifiques envoient plusieurs équipes d’exploration pour l’étudier, mais aucune ne rentre. Une dernière expédition est envoyée... J’ai mis un peu de temps à rentrer dans le premier tome et puis j’ai dévoré les trois en 2 jours, tellement c’est devenu addictif. Le livre est HALLUCINANT. On explore le tréfonds sombres de ce qui nous rend humain (ou non) dans un thriller de science-fiction écologique. Et puis c’est à la fois très scientifique, réfléchit, et très lent et angoissant parfois. Magnifique dans toute la magie du terme. Vraiment vous allez être en mode Le Cri de Münch !!

3. Caleb Carr, The Alienist.

“— Alors, allez tous au diable ! hurlai-je, brandissant mon poing boueux. Mais crier ne m'apporta aucun soulagement.”

Le premier livre que j’ai lu en 2019 et vraiment une CLAQUE. J’avais oublié ce que c’était un thriller magnifiquement écrit sur le XIXe siècle. C’est les débuts du profiling (pas encore trop pris au sérieux) et une série de meurtres glauques touchent les jeunes adolescents de Londres... Vraiment superbe, tant dans l’écriture que dans le scénario, qui est hyper bien ficelé et qui mène à un dénouement de OUF (en plus y a une meuf badass dont je suis éperdument AMOUREUSE)

4. Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See

“You know the great lesson of history? It’s that history is whatever the victors say it is. That’s the lesson. Whoever wins, that’s who decides the history.”

Marie-Laure est une adolescente aveugle passionnée par le musée d’Histoire naturelle, qui doit fuir le Paris occupé de la Seconde Guerre mondiale et se réfugier chez un oncle étrange à Saint-Malo. Avec eux, ils emportent un joyaux qui aurait d’incroyable capacités.

Werner est un jeune orphelin allemand, passionné de radiophonie et qui est douée pour construire des radios. Enrôlés dans les jeunesses hitlériennes, il apprend petit à petit à traquer la Résistance grâce à cette radio.

C’est juste magnifique, voilà. C’est un souffle de liberté et de tendresse et d’amour passionné pour la vie et pour l’espoir qu’il reste quand il n’en reste plus.

5. N. H. Kleinbaum, Dead Poets Society

“One reads poetry because he is a member of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion! Medicine, law, banking—these are necessary to sustain life. But poetry, romance, love, beauty? These are what we stay alive for!”

Ecoutez. Le Cercle des Poètes disparus c’est le film de ma vie. Je pleure non-stop pendant les 45 dernières minutes. Est-ce que vous me croyez si je vous dis que j’ai encore plus pleuré sur le livre ? Voilà, lisez ce livre, regardez ce film, réveillez le poète qui est en vous.

6. Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park

“Because the history of evolution is that life escapes all barriers. Life breaks free. Life expands to new territories. Painfully, perhaps even dangerously. But life finds a way.”

J’ai lu beaucoup de livres de mes films préférés cette année, et Jurassic Park est incroyable. La réflexion écologique, scientifique et humaine dans le livre est tellement plus poussée que dans le film !! Et Ian Malcolm est toujours aussi incroyable, charismatique, intelligent, et Ellie et Alan sont parfaits !! Et c’est un peu plus gore que le film et un peu plus angoissant, mais OUAH LISEZ LA VERSION LIVRE JUSTE APRES AVOIR VU LE FILM

7. Madeline Miller, Circe

“What could make a god afraid ? I knew that answer too. A power greater than their own.”

C’est la meuf qui a écrit The Song of Achilles et elle nous écrit une déesse, magicienne et sorcière, et puis femme aussi, profondément puissante, libre, brûlante, déterminée, forte et vulnérable, amoureuse, trahie. Toute la beauté et la nuance du personnage de Circé se retrouve dans ce livre !

8. Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

“There must be something in books, things we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing.”

Ca a été une grande année de classiques de la science-fiction et j’avais beaucoup d’appréhension à lire Fahrenheit 451, mais écoutez, c’est 200 pages de pur génie.

C’est un monde dystopique où les livres ont été interdits pour que les gens suivent le dogme du gouvernement sans poser de question et ne réfléchissent plus par eux-mêmes. Guy est un “fireman”, qui est chargé de brûlé les livres restants, dans les maisons des résistants, avec les résistants à l’intérieur. Mais sacrilège, après avoir rencontré une jeune résistante, il décide de voler un livre et tout à coup, son monde change...

Je pensais pas que ce livre serait aussi incroyable, mais OUI, je comprends pourquoi ironiquement, il est sur toutes les listes des banned books, parce que ça fait vraiment réfléchir sur le fond de l’humanité, sur la culture, la lecture, survivre ensemble, et sur comment le gouvernement totalitaire utilise l’accès à la culture comme arme (et ça fait peur comparé à la situation actuelle).

9. Emma Locatelli, Le Scandaleux Héliogabale.

“Pourquoi penserais-je à la mort ? Je préfère vivre intensément et périr dans la fleur de l'âge que de ne rien vivre du tout et traîner mon ennui jusqu'au jour où j'aurai une barbe blanche !”

On suit l’accession au trône d’Héliogabale puis toutes ses frasques et ses dérives en tant qu’empreur, allant jusqu’à instaurer un nouveau culte monothéiste, ce qui lui vaut la haine des romains.

Un livre fascinant sur la déchéance d'un homme et avec lui d'un empire... On hait Varius autant qu'il nous fait pitié, mais au final, ce sont les figures de femmes qui sont les plus impressionnantes : indépendantes, fières, prêtes à tout pour assoir leur place et conserver leur pouvoir.

10. David Gemmell, Rigante. T.1, L’épée de l’orage.

“Vous, les humains, vous êtes si impatients. Mais peut-être est-ce naturel pour une race qui vit des vies mesurables en battements de cœur.”

Con est né lors d’un orage, au moment de la mort de son père, couard. Adopté par le grand chef, il n’a pour objectif que de prouver sa valeur. Petit à petit, il forge sa légende, du tueur d’ours au grand conquérant qui a tué le roi.

C’est une épopée de fantasy médiévale formidable, complexe, les personnages sont attachants, l’univers est immense, dingue, on rêve de voyage, d’aventures et de combats d’épées, mais aussi de rentrer le soir dans sa petite chaumière, pour une veillée autour du feu avec le reste du village.

Un livre que j'avais abandonné à ma première lecture mais que j'avais laissé de côté en me disant que je n'étais sans doute juste pas encore prête. Effectivement, c'est un premier tome magistral, profond et intense, qui parle autant de guerre que des tragédies d'une famille et des difficultés de surpasser ses erreurs. C'est aussi un livre très fin sur ce qui fait le héro, et sur la complexité humaine. Après tout, un héros reste un homme, avec ses parts les plus sombres.

10 BIS. Tom Sweterlitsch, Terminus.

“On croyait jadis que l'enfer était l'absence de Dieu alors que c'est l'absence de mort.”

“ Depuis le début des années 80, un programme ultrasecret de la marine américaine explore de multiples futurs potentiels. Lors de ces explorations, ses agents temporels ont situé le Terminus, la destruction de toute vie sur terre, au XXVIIe siècle. En 1997, l’agent spécial Shannon Moss du NCIS reçoit au milieu de la nuit un appel du FBI : on la demande sur une scène de crime. Un homme aurait massacré sa famille avant de s’enfuir. Seule la fille aînée, Marian, 17 ans, serait vivante, mais reste portée disparue. Pourquoi contacter Moss? Parce que le suspect, Patrick Mursult, a comme elle contemplé le Terminus... dont la date s’est brusquement rapprochée de plusieurs siècles.” (4e de couv, parce que je savais pas comment vous expliquer l’histoire lmao)

L’univers est INCROYABLE, l’idée est SENSATIONNELLE, l’enquête est WOW, si bien ficelée, l’atmosphère est FOLLE, le Terminus comme concept c’est fantastique et terrifiant et glacial, vraiment une super belle découverte.

#books #reader problems #upthebouquin #french side of tumblr #french stuff #whatthefrance #upthebaguette #top 10 #best books #reading #wolfie made a statement #circe #madeline miller #terminus #tom sweterlitsch #the great believers #rebecca makkai #rigante #david gemmell #emma locatelli #heliogabale #ray bradbury #fahrenheit 451 #dead poets society #jurassic park #the alienist #caleb carr #all the light we cannot see #anthony doerr #jeff vandermeer

[judgement-free-sideblog]

The enemy of love is the truth

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

Summary: They were happy just as friends, but one morning the call from an old trauma may change everything.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, history of drug use, mental health issues, cursing, angst.

This one is extremely long but I love the final result, the next chapter will be the end, thank for reading, comments are more than welcome.

■Part I  ■ Part II ■Part III ■ Part IV ■ Part V ■ Part VI■ Part VII ■ Part VIII | Final ■

Part V

"And you didn't kiss, again?" Zawe said, she took a sip from her wine glass and take her hand to her forehead with exasperation. "This has been going on forever now, I'm done, Caroline you take care now"

"Don't look at me, I basically push them together what else can I do? Lock them inside my office? Trust me I have thought about it." The other woman said.

"Excuse me, I'm still here and I can hear you" Y/N said questioning why did she agree to have lunch with them in the first place, however she had chose to only tell them about the invitation to an ex's wedding and the late tea at Tom's flat and not a single thing else "And what does again is supposed to mean?"

"New year two years ago" Caroline started "I was dating that gorgeous Greek guy with the most beautiful abs I have ever seen, and everyone kissed at midnight, and what did you do? You leave the dance floor to go vomit in my bathroom"

"Oysters and champagne don't mix" Y/N said getting red remembering the night "And Stavros was only kind of hot" she add making Caroline sigh with pretend indignation.

"What about january last year?" Zawe continued "Bobby was sick and he was on call for his last movie, and you take a week off to stay at his place to help him out"

"First of all I love that dog, and I did that for him more than for Tom, and second I didn't stayed at his place" She answered knowing pretty well she was lying "I only get there super early and went out late at night, but I would have done that for you guys too"

They continued laughing and talking about nothing in particular, with the subject coming up time to time, they meant well and Y/N knew it, even if they didn't knew the whole story.

"Being honest he is as guilty as you are" Caroline said signaling the waiter to get the check. "Last year on November you were at that gynecology symposium on Madrid, and he acted like he was losing his mind until he got in to a plane to met you there, and what brilliant excuse did he give you? He said he needed a flu shot and don't trust his doctor here, also all those times he had crashed at your apartment are total bullshit I was with him the other night and he didn't have a single drop, and I'm getting tired of helping him pretend he does"

"Oh please stop it already" they were walking towards Zawe's car and she was as amused to find the truth about that obvious lie as she was exasperated by her friends "You are right ok? at least on my side. I have been childish about all of this. But if I'm honest I don't know what could I do? In the end I'm still a general practitioner from a tiny hospital and he is Tom Hiddleston"

"Well darling, he could be the sound engineer of the theater or the Prime Minister himself" Said Zawe once they were inside the car "He still is crazy about you. What you have to do is take the leap, talk about it like adults, go to the bloody wedding and enjoy yourself without thinking of anyone else"

"And for once don't run away like a scared chicken when things get personal" Caroline said happy that she finally was able to acknowledge her feelings.

"Sure... why not? By the way I been meaning to tell you something..."

The conversation fade away in other topics, a few more relevant than others, but Y/N mind was far away in the past thinking of the last time she risked all for him and how tremendously wrong it all have turn out.

They had agree he will pick her up at her place, after the most demanding shift she ever had, she took a quick shower and put on a flowy dress, and her coat, and in an effort to look more decent a pair of earrings.

She was trying desperately to make her makeup work when an alarm went off in her phone, a reminder to make a call and before she could think it trough she was already listening the dial tone, praying for him to don't pick up.

"Hi there" his voice finally said when she was about to hang up "so glad to hear you. It's everything alright?"

"Completely, how about you? Did you change your job as you wanted?" She said, now trapped in the conversation.

"I did, and them I changed it again, that's why you should call people more than once a year, otherwise you never know the full story. What's new with you?"

"I start working part time at a theater, as a personal doctor for the manager" she said getting close to what she wanted to say to him.

"Oh that's great, have you met someone interesting there? Are you dating some gorgeous Shakespearean actor... actress??" He still knew her well enough to make things easy for her to talk about.

"I do, in fact I have a date... soon, it's that ok?" She said the last a bit doubtful, she didn't want to hurt him again.

"That's amazing Y/N" David said sincerely "And relax, is not me who you should be worried about, I want you to be happy, just don't go sabotaging things like you use to. I love you girl, but if I'm honest I think you chose to be miserable even when other people try their best to make you happy"

They talked for another couple minutes and when she finally said goodbye his words kept resonating in her mind, but he was wrong, it was not sabotaging, it was self preservation, like this stupid idea of a date. She was quite sure he was trying to make her feel less ashamed for her drunken advances on him, a nice dinner, some talking so she could go on with her life thinking "It simply didn't work, but he is such a nice man"

And she hated herself for ending up in such pathetic position, thinking of how much fun tom must have had watching her making a fool of herself. She was determined then to call off the date, make a graceful scape before she could embarrassing herself but before she could called him there was a ring at her door.

He was gorgeous of course, his beard as well maintained as always and his hair combed to de back of his head in beautiful waves that she wanted to touch since the first time she saw him. He was wearing a coat over a simple dark grey shirt and jeans.

He smiled fondly at her when he saw her, there were dark circles under her eyes and he thought they looked beautiful, something refreshing about a woman who worked that hard on something that she loved.

Y/N intrigued him, she seemed to live like a mature functioning adult, but there was a childish sparkle in her eyes when she started to talk that made him want to know more about her, but then that ever present hint of sadness always refraining her to talk to much, all of which made her the most interesting puzzle.

"Something in mind you would like to eat?" He asked once they were inside his car, with his tinted windows up, he liked driving alone, but he liked his privacy more and they have proven to be an effective solution.

"Not really, anywhere you pick will be fine" she said smiling and he drove to a nice restaurant, making small talk about work, their mutual friends and the weather.

Once they arrived the valet took his keys and gave her what he thought was a meaningful almost impertinent smile.

"I really need to apologize for my behavior" She started once their food was ordered and the waiter had served them two big glasses of wine "It was inappropriate for me to act like that. I am deeply sorry"

"Don't be, we were all a little drunk. But it was nice talking to you" they ate in silence, other than, what she felt, empty mutual compliments on each others carreras. Proving what she had fear since the night before. Until he finally spoke again "I've been meaning to ask you, did you enjoy the play?"

"Absolutely, Mister Cox and Miss Ashton are outstanding, and you obviously it's an incredible play, all things considered" she said taken aback by the question and cursing herself for the last part.

"What things considered?" He asked now genuinely intrigued.

"Oh I'm sorry, I misspoke, it's something stupid actually" she said nervously trying to avoid his gaze and failing.

"Come on, I'm a big boy, I can take some criticism" he lean back on his chair and open his arms, as if he waited for a punch, his eyes still fix on Y/N.

"Ok, but do notice this is coming from Y/N the feminist doctor who spend her free time protesting and not Y/N the fan of theater and literature." She said finally looking back at him decided "I think somehow it demonizes Emma's betrayal and eventual "punishment" while it glorifies the male ego of the two men. And also Robert Down is a prick"

He opened his mouth slightly surprised and then closed his lips in a thin line and let go a chuckle, with a mild blush crossing his face.

"Auch" He said finally, "Well it's and old play... and he amm of course is not a good person, I guess if you are not familiarized with Pinter's work you may have that kind of conclusion"

He had trouble finding his words to debate her, although he was impressed with her honesty, but since it was a sensible matter he wanted to be clear, however Y/N interpreted as him trying to dismiss her statement and change the subject, which put her one step closer to anger.

"You really are that nice aren't you?" She started, with her voice cold and sharp "And I don't mean it as a compliment, but you are right. I don't know Harold Pinter's work but I do know he is factually wrong, there's no deep intricate meaning behind betrayal, in the end is quite simple, people can't make the choice of remaining truthful either to themselves or the people who they love without being bitches about it. You like to shag around no strings attached fine do that don't complain is it doesn't feel like a home, you want a successful marriage fine forget about any other bloody temptation and be decent. But I guess in the end lies are what keeps people together. Once the truth is out, love dies and so the relationship" he was astonished, however the passion in her voice made him answered to her in a similar tone, changing completely the direction he had imagine for the evening.

"Don't be absurd, that would imply people need to systematically lie in order to keep their relationships, if anything the play is a critique on those precise actions, while normal people try to have loving relationships in honesty, even when sometimes is easier to say a lie. And there's a complete difference between lying to save your arse and conceal your dishonesty, and lying to be socially functional"

"So you never lie?" She asked now completely furious of what she felt was hypocrisy.

"Everybody lies, that's the point, there is a difference in being oblivious on other people's feelings imposing your wrong personal opinions and pretend that's some moral high honesty, and being polite enough to avoid subjects that may hurt others" He said now crossing her arms, pleased with her momentary silence until she start to look for something in her purse trying to hide the hurt in her face.

"Exactly" She said finally putting a couple £50 notes on the table and looking at him with anger in her eyes "Like asking stupid women out so they don't feel like total idiots for hitting on you while they were drunk? That kind of politeness?"

"What?" He said flabbergasted finally rising his voice "That's why you think I asked you out?"

"Oh don't patronize me!" She said also rising her voice and standing up "It must've been so funny, asking a girl who is obsessed with you on a date, what amazingly beautiful act of chivalry. You know what you are? You are an entitled selfish bastard, who gets off on the world worshiping him." She took her purse of the table and put her coat back on, and before leaving she add "And men can't be feminist, you would know that if you read a book on feminist theory instead the glorified misogynistic bastards you adore"

She quickly move away from the table leaving a perplex Tom behind, but before she could exit the restaurant he started following her, reaching her just a couple meters from the valet parking station next to the restauran small planters.

"Oh this is very mature of you" he called her "You owe me an explanation"

"I don't owe you shit" He was close enough so he catch her by her wrist.

"Or at least let me take you home" he said turning her around, she rise her other hand and he prepared his right cheek for what he anticipated will be a slap, but something caught her eye and instead and she took her hand to her ear and to his surprise she change her voice to a high pitch whining, causing him to let her go.

"Oh whe is it? Where did I leave it? It must have fallen here" she started looking for something in the planters and kneeling near the fence.

"Are you having a stroke?" He asked getting down to her level "what are you looking for?"

"There's a guy with a camera hiding behind a car two meters from you" she said rapidly in a whisper, she quickly put one of her earrings in his hand and said: "Follow my lead, don't look back. Stand up now"

He did as she told him and they stand up, he was still holding the earring in his hand when she took it smiling wide, and putting it back on, and then for his surprise hugging him.

"Smile, get back inside, go to the bar, order a drink and then come back and ask for your car" she said using the proximity to whisper in his ear.

"Why?" He asked and the breaking the contact.

"Just trust me" she said between her teeth and smiling again. He returned the smile and nodded, going back in completely clueless of what was happening, in inside corner of his eye he could see the man with the camera.

He order a glass of wine, but he barely even touch it, the ten minutes he waited felt like eternity and finally he exited the place again. He give the ticket to the valet. The young man went for it immediately and he couldn't help to feel observed. When his car finally arrived and he tried to tip him the guy simply said "it's taken care of, drive safe" He nodded and get in his car not surprised to see Y/N already in the passenger seat.

He drove off and once they were a couple blocks away they looked at each other, and before anyone could talk they started laughing hysterically but it also felt cathartic.

"Care to explain what happened love?" He asked now back to his normal tone "Did you break into my car?"

"Of course not, Philip amm... the valet guy, he works half time as a medical assistant in my hospital. A couple weeks ago he told me that sometimes the waiters of that restaurant call the papers to get scoops on celebrities, and I assumed you didn't want my stupid tantrum in the first page tomorrow"

"Well no, but at least I'm glad you admit it was a tantrum. Can I know what happened?"

"Oh, the guy with the camera come asking me why you were chasing after me, I told him I made a scene in the restaurant because I couldn't find my late grandmother earrings and this handsome" She said exaggerating an innocent voice "who I didn't catch his name, help me found it, then I texted Philip to let me get inside your car, because I supposed he will be waiting for you to come out"

"That's amazing and clever" he said genuinely impressed by her story "But I meant at the restaurant"

"Oh... I had a terrible day, and I leashed out on you" she said turning red. "I am really sorry, you are not an entitled bastard, and everything I said... it was just out of place. I completely respect your acting, and I shouldn't have expressed myself that way" she apologized for all the things she have said without him interrupting her while he drive back to her place.

"Don't worry about it" he said finally smiling at Y/N again with the most candid smile he had given her yet "I'm sure other people have called me worst, just not to my face, and I do appreciate your honesty. Just one thing." He said parking the car at her door. "That's not why I asked out, and I apologize because I didn't make my intentions clear in the beginning. Nevertheless this was a fun experience"

"Said that again" she said without thinking.

"This was really fun I actually enjoyed your company..."

"No, that word 'nevertheless' sounds way more powerful when you say it."

"Nevertheless?" He said getting out of the car.

"Yeah, I actually have a tattoo that says nevertheless she persisted" she started playing with her keys in her doorway, looking pleased by the interest he show on that detail.

"You do go out protesting huh?" He said taking one step closer.

"I do, and I'm really sorry again" she said looking away and finally putting the keys in the lock.

"And again it's nothing really, so now... am I'll guess..."

"I'll see you around" she said, he kissed her on the cheek and she entered her flat, wishing to forget everything about that day.

By the time she was back at the theater next day, she was hoping to leave all behind, but everyone seemed to be obsessed with Tom's random act of kindness to a stranger that thank goodness the camera hadn't focused well.

She chose to hide inside her office the rest of the night until by the time she assumed everyone will be leaving someone knocked on her door, she opened thinking Caroline may be needing something, but she was surprised when she saw Tom standing there.

"Today it's my birthday, and we are going to celebrate, would you like to come by? I can't help to remind how you called Charlie and Zawe mister and miss, and I think they would like you" he said passing his fingers trough his hair distractedly.

"I know, yeah I would love too" She said immediately "But first, please come in, I... um... I actually got you something, it's a birthday present and also a peace offering for the way I acted yesterday" She went to her desk with him following behind her. She took something from the drawer "You are an amazing Robert, and I know you like to research your characters, I mean you probably have read this already but I thought you might like it" she give him a neatly wrapped brown package with a nice blue ribbon on top.

He opened unceremoniously with a child like expressions, touched by her gesture. And he opened his mouth in excitement and disbelief when he saw the book inside.

The Wild Swans at Coole. Other Verses and a Play in Verse. YEATS, W. B.

"Is this a...?"

"A signed original edition, yes." She said happy "I assume you have many of this but I couldn't think of anything else to give you"

"It's perfect actually" he said already carefully opening the book "This is too much, thank you"

"Your welcome" she took her purse and stand up ready to leave. "So where are we going?"

"Right right" He said standing up too. "You are gonna love this guys".

That had been the end of their would be romance and also the beginning of their friendship, but while Y/N tried on one of the multiple dresses Zewe had chosen for her the idea of trying again started to look less and less crazy, her plan was already in motion, she only hoped now that he would feel the same, and even more important than that, she prayed she wouldn't loose him in case he didn't.

#tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston #zawe ashton #charlie cox #robert and emma betrayal #betrayal #harold pinter #angst #romance #friendship #bobby hiddleston #tom hiddleston fandom #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston fluff

[vexedtonightmares]

last dance (elu ballet au) chapter huit

Lucas is in his final year at the Paris Opera Ballet School and he’ll be damned if he lets his former friend-turned-rival Eliott steal the lead role in their production of Swan Lake.

aka- lucas and eliott are rivals who are forced to room together for their final year of ballet school before they try to enter the company. we can all see where this is going.  

i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii. viii.

ao3

**For those unaware, I will only ever post my works on my tumblr or on ao3 under the name bluesxrgent. If you see my work posted elsewhere, I did not post, or give my permission for it to be posted, and I would love it if you let me know. Bisous.**

tw: brief mentions of past child abuse in this chapter

Jeudi 14:37

“Fuck,” Lucas hissed under his breath for probably the twentieth time that day. Imane glared at him, which was justified. It was like he had two left feet all of a sudden, he couldn’t get any of the moves right. Madame Rigaux had been downright terrifying in their earlier classes, and he’d hoped he would be able to get it together by the time Swan Lake rehearsals started, but no dice. 

He couldn’t keep his mind off the dream he’d had that morning, memories of him and Eliott as children coming in and out of his mind in flashes. He’d slipped out of their suite while Eliott was in the bathroom that morning but hadn’t gone to the studio, knowing Eliott might look for him there. 

It was his fault, really, if Eliott thought they were back to being friends, but he hoped some good avoidance and ignoring on his part would do the trick and send them back to mutual hatred. 

The director eyed him from the front of the classroom and Lucas snapped to attention, trying to pretend his mind wasn’t running a mile a minute. Eliott, unfortunately, was completely back in his groove, dancing better than he had since he’d been out for a week. Manon was flawless as usual, and they complimented one another very well. Lucas reached out for Imane’s hand, preparing to restart the phrase they’d been working on. 

It went more successful than the last time, but they were still nowhere near their usual chemistry. He knew Imane would chew him out about it later, but at the moment as long as he was executing the steps properly he really didn’t care if the right energy and passion wasn’t there. 

They moved along into the sequence where Odile, disguised as Odette, fools the Prince, thus allowing Von Rothbart a victory. Manon and Imane had been practicing this sequence harder than the others because it was one of the most iconic moments of the ballet, as it was the part where Odile executed thirty-two consecutive fouettes. Eliott met Lucas’ eye as the girls prepared to run through their turns before doing them in line with the choreography, and Lucas flinched away from the glance. 

They were seventeen now, and Lucas had still never been the Prince or done the fouettes like they’d promised each other back when they were eight. When he looked back up at Eliott, Eliott was wearing a slight frown, brows furrowed in concern. He raised one of them at Lucas in a silent question, but Lucas ignored it, pretending to pay attention to Manon and Imane so he knew when to come in with his own choreography. 

They were seventeen now, and Lucas was still making all the same mistakes. He wanted to pretend it wasn’t his fault, but he’d always been the master of his own demise, believing in the good in people even after they’d shown that whatever they considered good was not to be trusted.

Needless to say, the rest of rehearsals flew by in one big blur. The one surprisingly decent part of the day was how Lucas had actually done quite well in their hip hop class that day. Maybe it was all his pent up rage, but he’d killed their combination that day, and it didn’t go unnoticed. Actually, their hip hop instructor asked to record him doing the combo after class, which was usually only ever requested of people like Manon, Imane, Sofiane, and, before she’d left the school, Alexia. 

Sweating, but smiling when he finished, he packed up his things and left the classroom, running right into Eliott who’d been waiting outside the door. Lucas shot him an alarmed and confused look, but Eliott just fell into step beside him. Lucas looked at him out of the corner of his eye, even more confused by the fact that Eliott was grinning peacefully. Hadn’t he noticed Lucas was avoiding him?

“What are you doing?” Lucas asked finally. Eliott looked surprised. 

“What do you mean?”

Lucas raised his eyebrows. “I mean, why did you wait for me?”

Eliott shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? We’re going back to the same place and it only took a few minutes anyway.”

“Maybe I didn’t want you to,” Lucas grumbled, and Eliott’s smile finally faltered. “And maybe I wasn’t coming back to the room.”

“But it’s dinner time. Remember? We planned to make ratatouille?” Eliott teased. They had, in fact, planned to make ratatouille, because they’d watched the movie while they ate the night before, mouths watering at all the animated food even though they had no idea why. What was it about animated food that made it look so much better than real food?

“I can’t,” Lucas lied, “I promised Yann I’d go out to dinner with him.

“On a Thursday?”

“Yes.”

Eliott’s face fell further. “Oh. Um, ok then. You don’t want to shower before you go?”

Lucas wrinkled his nose. “Are you telling me I smell?”

“No, but you have a shower every day after practice before you do anything else so…”

Ok, fine, that was true. He really did need a shower. “I meant after my shower, obviously.”

“Ok, sorry.” Eliott’s voice was small and closed off. Part of Lucas was pleased that he was finally taking a hint, the other part frantic that he’d dimmed Eliott’s natural light. They walked the rest of the short distance to their room in silence. 

Once inside, Lucas beelined for the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it behind him before slumping against the side of the door. He knew that Yann had plans with his own parents that night, but that didn’t matter. Lucas could spend his time in one of the studios and pretend he’d been out with Yann for the night. If he was lucky he’d be able to come back after Eliott fell asleep. 

He was suddenly grateful he’d agreed to go to the party with the boys tomorrow night. At least then he had an excuse to avoid Eliott. Now he only had to worry about the rest of the year, which was wonderful. 

He turned the shower on, realizing he’d been in there for a while and he’d just been sitting on the floor. Even though the shower was on, he was still unmotivated to actually get in, so he laid his head against the bathtub and watched until the shower got so hot that steam formed on the mirror. 

There was a small part of his heart that couldn’t stop clenching painfully in his chest, and he didn’t know why. More accurately, he was pretty sure he did know why, and that made his heart clench even tighter. 

Vendredi 21:16  

Lucas was nowhere near as drunk as he wished he could be but, given the disastrous experience of the last party, he’d limited himself to one drink at the pregame, one drink when they got to the party. Most of his friends had no such reservations, and he frowned at the beer he’d been nursing for an hour in disappointment. 

The party was supposed to start around 22h, which meant that they would be showing up fashionably late, which meant he had to nurse this beer for the next hour and a half at least. Great. Lucas, Yann, Basile, Arthur, Manon, Daphné, Emma, Imane, and Alexia were at Emma’s house for the pregame because her parents were never around and it was pretty close to both the school and where the party would be held. 

At least Eliott and Sofiane hadn’t joined them, choosing to hang out with Idriss and one of their other friends, Alex. Lucas wasn’t even sure if they’d be going to the party and hoped to god they wouldn’t. He wouldn’t have minded seeing Idriss and Alex, but he could survive a night without them if it meant a night without Eliott too. 

Arthur laid his head in Lucas’ lap, looking up at Lucas in concern. “You look upset.”

“I’m not upset,” Lucas said. He wasn’t, really, at least no more than usual. 

“Bullshit,” Arthur sang to himself, then giggled. Arthur usually didn’t get drunk very fast, so he must have had a lot to drink already. “You’re always upset.”

“That’s not true,” Lucas argued, but it sounded strained. They both knew it was true, but Lucas hadn’t realized Arthur picked up on it. 

Arthur blinked slowly, like it required quite the effort. “It is. I don’t know why, though…” he trailed off and Lucas thought for a second he might have fallen asleep. Then, out of nowhere, his eyes snapped open and he spoke again. “You’re too hard on yourself. If only you could see what all of us see, for real. I know I don’t tell you enough, but you’re amazing, dude. Not just at ballet, but at everything you do. It makes me sad that you can’t see it.”

Lucas felt a little bit flustered. He knew Arthur was only being so honest because he was drunk, but people always said drunk words are sober thoughts, so there must have been some validity in what he was saying. Something occurred to Lucas and his eyes went wide. “Wait. you’re not… you don’t… like me, do you?”

“Of course I like you.” Arthur tapped the tip of Lucas’ nose lazily, letting his hand flop back down like a dead weight. “But I’m not in love with you if that’s what you’re asking. I wish I was, you’d probably be a great boyfriend,” he giggled. 

Even though the last part had been a drunken ramble of a joke, Lucas smiled to himself. It warmed his heart, even a small amount, to think that Arthur thought that about him. “For what it’s worth I think you’d probably be a great boyfriend too,” Lucas responded, tapping Arthur’s nose in return. 

Arthur laughed louder this time. “Yeah? I think you’re probably the first to have that delusion. But thanks.”

Maybe Lucas wasn’t the only one who had a harder time than he let on. Lucas began brushing Arthur’s hair casually with his fingers, trying to express his love and appreciation for his friend without going over the top. He wasn’t sure if Arthur understood, but Lucas would try harder to show Arthur all the ways he loved him going forward. Sometimes he wished platonic relationships were a thing. They were, he supposed, to a point, but no one ever got married platonically, or had a platonic boyfriend. Well, maybe they did, but not enough in Lucas’ opinion. 

Platonic intimacy was so deeply undervalued, he thought, though maybe it was just because he’d pushed people away so much that he had a deep craving for someone to lay with him until he fell asleep with no feelings attached other than those of a familial sort of love. Sitting there, brushing through Arthur’s hair with his friend’s head in his lap, neither of them wanting anything more from the other was exactly what Lucas needed. 

He wanted to be able to do things like this all the time without it meaning anything other than the fact that they loved each other, but not like that. Maybe he was just so touch starved that he’d take whatever he could get.

“What do you say we make one of those pacts, like in the movies?” Arthur asked, leaning into Lucas hand. 

“What pacts?”

Arthur thought for a moment, and Lucas could almost see him lose his train of thought about five times. “Like ‘oh if we’re both single by the time we’re thirty, we’ll get married’. Although, you’ve probably already promised yourself to Yann, haven’t you?”

Lucas laughed. “Do you really think Yann will be single at thirty? He’ll be married by the time he’s twenty-one, mark my words.”

“Fair point. Want to make a deal, then?” Arthur held up his hand, the action looking like it took grave effort. 

Lucas moved his hand from Arthur’s hair and shook it. “I still expect you to get down on one knee, just saying.”

“Right now?”

“No, not right now dumbass. If we’re single at thirty. I also expect roses and a ring so big it puts Kim Kardashian to shame.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes, then shrugged. “Sounds doable. I also promise mind-blowing platonic sex, if you want it. Deal?”

“Deal,” Lucas responded with a laugh, shaking Arthur’s hand once. 

“What are you two doing over there? Come join the rest of us!” Alexia yelled from where everyone else was chatting a few feet away. Arthur sat up more quickly that Lucas would have thought possible, stumbling over his feet as he rejoined the group. He shot a wink Lucas’ way and Lucas couldn’t help but smile in return, wondering if Arthur would remember any of this come morning. 

“You ok?” Yann asked as Lucas approached him. “You haven’t even finished your drink.”

Lucas nodded, surprised that Yann had noticed. “I’m trying to stay relatively sober tonight. Last time I drank way too much and I still feel sick when I think about it.”

Yann nodded gravely. “Yeah, we’ve all been there.”

Lucas smiled and settled into the circle beside him. He loved how, most times, Yann understood him without question. If he’d stayed friends with Eliott all these years, he and Yann would never have formed the relationship they had now, so he supposed he had Eliott to thank for that at least.

Manon was a bit quiet and she kept averting her eyes every time he tried to meet her gaze. They hadn’t spoken much in a while, at least not about anything other than ballet, and Lucas missed her. He wondered if she was dealing with as much turmoil in her life as he was, and wondered if Charles had anything to do with it. 

For the most part, though, the nine of them laughed and joked together, some much drunker than others, but Lucas found himself actually having fun. This was what he liked, not the huge parties where all people wanted to do was get drunk and hook up. He thought maybe in another life or a parallel universe he could have been one of those people, but definitely not in this one. In this one, he just wanted to go to bed. 

Nevertheless, he participated more than he normally would have, trying to take his mind off all the things he would have been overthinking had he been shut up in his room. It worked, for the most part, and by the time they all got ready to leave for the actual party, he didn’t even have to fake his smile.   

Vendredi 22:52

The party was in full swing. Lucas and all of his friends had arrived about half past 22h, and there was already at least fifty people there. Lucas was immediately overwhelmed but pretended not to be, grabbing another beer and planning to retreat somewhere quiet for a while. Yann, unfortunately, had been anticipating this, so he dragged Lucas into the kitchen with Basile and Arthur, forcing him to participate. 

Thankfully, the kitchen wasn’t as full as the rest of the house, so Lucas was able to breathe more freely and feel less claustrophobic. “Hooking up with anyone tonight Baz?” Arthur asked, and Lucas had to fight not to roll his eyes. It would only be a matter of time until they asked him.

Basile cast a glance around the room and Lucas could tell he was looking for someone in particular. “Fingers crossed, boys,” he said. 

Arthur gestured for him to continue. “Who?” he prompted gently. 

Basile turned to look at them in exasperation. “Daphné! Duh!”

“Since when are you into Daphy?” Lucas asked, forgetting that he’d been trying to keep himself out of the conversation.

“Since forever? Besides, there were totally some vibes between us earlier, didn’t you feel them?” Basile asked excitedly. 

Arthur nodded. “Oh, totally. You’ve got this!” he encouraged, but when he met Lucas’ eyes behind Basile’s back he widened his eyes with a look that said He does not, in fact, have this. Lucas snorted into his beer, accidentally bringing the attention back onto himself. 

“What about you, then? Anyone in the crowd catch your eye?” Basile asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Arthur cut in, “Oh, come on Baz, Lulu doesn’t do romance, despite what that hoodie of his might say.”

Lucas flipped him off, taking a sip of his drink. “That’s not true.”

Yann leveled Lucas with a knowing stare. Ok, fine, maybe it was a little bit true, but not everyone had to be on the lookout for a hookup or a relationship at all times, right? There was more to life. Sure, if he found someone he really liked, maybe he’d go for it, but there had never been anyone like that and he didn’t anticipate there being anyone like that anytime in the near future. 

He rolled his eyes at his friends again. “Whatever,” he grumbled, saved from saying anything more by the appearance of Alexia.

“Hey! We’re playing fuck, marry, kill in the other room, come join!” she yelled over the pounding music. Did Lucas want to go play a game? No, but it got him out of this conversation, so he took off after Alexia, not waiting to see if his friends would join. 

It turned out that they did follow, and they sat down beside him in a big circular group. There was some faces Lucas didn’t know, but otherwise it was just the boys and the girls from the ballet school plus Basile and Alexia. 

“Yo, wait for us!” someone shouted, stumbling into the circle. The body belonging to the voice nearly tripped over Lucas’ shoulder and Lucas looked up to find Alex smiling apologetically. “Sorry, dude— oh, wait, Lucas! Long time no see bro, how are you?”

Alex had, against Lucas’ better judgement, been the first guy Lucas had ever kissed. It wasn’t a bad memory or anything, but Lucas still got a bit red in the face whenever he saw Alex. They were still friendly and everything, so if anyone was making it weird, it wasn’t Alex.

“I’m good,” he answered after a second too long, “You?”

“Fucking fantastic. Uni is so much better than lycée. Though I guess I don’t know how it compares to ballet school,” he laughed, then turned, attention called elsewhere. “We’ll catch up later, yeah?”

Before Lucas could even nod Alex was swept away to the opposite side of the circle with his friends who, Lucas remembered with a jolt, included Idriss, Sofiane, and Eliott. Lucas hadn’t seen Eliott yet, so he assumed he hadn’t come. Eliott didn’t look to be enjoying himself either, he looked a bit like he was trying to fold himself into a tiny little box. Their eyes met and Eliott smiled hesitantly, and Lucas averted his gaze immediately, mood souring. He was so caught up in not looking at Eliott that a few rounds of the game passed without him realizing it. 

“Lucas!” 

His head snapped up. Emma was looking at him mischievously. “It’s your turn. If you don’t answer you have to drink.”

“Um, ok.” He waited, hoping someone would jump in to save him before he had to answer. They didn’t. 

“Fuck, marry, kill,” Emma started, “Yann, Basile, and Arthur.”

Oh, that one was easy. “Fuck Yann, marry Arthur, kill Basile.”

Basile looked at him in alarm. “You had that answer ready too quickly.”

Lucas just shrugged, fist bumping Yann and Arthur as they grinned at him. Shit, it was his turn to ask then, wasn’t it? He decided to go for Alex, knowing that whatever combination of people he chose, Alex would consider his answer very seriously. “Alex.” Alex looked up at him with a wide grin. “Fuck, marry, kill… Emma, Daphné, and Camille.” 

Alex wrinkled his nose at the last name. Camille had been one of Alex’s girlfriends long ago, but was the only one whose name Lucas could remember. Alex had his answer ready quickly. “Fuck Daphné, marry Emma, kill Camille, god I haven’t thought about her in a while.”

Emma looked pleasantly surprised and Lucas narrowed his eyes between the two of them, wondering if there was something there that he’d accidentally picked up on. Alex took a swig of his own drink before turning to his target. “Eliott Demaury.”

Eliott folded in on himself even more, if possible. “Fuck, marry, kill Idriss, Sofiane, and… Lucas.” 

Eliott choked, even though he didn’t have a drink in his hand. Lucas rolled his eyes. This one should be easy. “Sofiane, can you pass me a drink?” Eliott asked a bit quietly. Sofiane furrowed his brows but did as he was asked. Eliott met Lucas’ equally confused stare for a split second before he downed the drink and sat back, gaze cast downward. Why had he refused to answer? 

Clearly picking up on whatever strange tension had begun to build, Daphné chimed in, “Oh, I know! Why don’t we play truth or dare?”

Everyone cheered at the suggestion, and Lucas wondered if it was possible to call aliens down to abduct him so he didn’t have to participate. Alexia explained that the rules would be the same, if there was something someone didn’t want to do or answer they could opt to drink instead, simple enough. She went first, daring Emma and Alex to spend seven minutes in heaven. They didn’t come back for twenty. 

After that the game went by quicker, each truth and dare blurring together a bit. At one point Lucas was dared to kiss Yann, which he drank instead. Some friendships weren’t meant to be ruined by a stupid game of truth or dare. At another Basile and Daphné made out, Basile looking a bit more eager than Daphné. Eliott somehow ended up without a shirt on and Lucas noticed that he had a small tattoo on his chest above his heart but he couldn’t read what it said from across the room. Sofiane asked Imane if she’d ever cheated on her online schoolwork and, since she didn’t drink, she’d squeaked out a small yes, which put everyone in hysterics. 

“Eliott, truth or dare?” Imane asked, still glaring at Sofiane. 

“Truth.”

“Do you have a crush on anyone in this room?” she asked, and he suddenly glared at her. She raised her eyebrows innocently, daring him to answer. 

“Yes,” he said at last, giving no further explanation. A couple more rounds passed and every time it landed on Eliott they tried to get him to divulge more information. 

“Do they know?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“Boy.”

“Does he like you back?”

“No.”

“How do you know he doesn’t like you back?”

“Educated guess.”

“Who is it?”

Eliott had drank to that one, and Lucas was struck wondering who it could be. It must have been the same person Eliott told him about the other night, right? If he had to guess, his bet was on Idriss, because as far as he knew, Idriss was straight, hence why he wouldn’t like Eliott back in the same way. There were a couple more questions but it never got back to Eliott, so Lucas never learned more. 

Soon it was Daphné’s turn to ask, and she focused on Lucas. “Truth or dare?” Her words were a bit slurred and Lucas wondered how much she’d had to drink. Manon was watching her carefully, so at least there was someone who would take care of her if need be. 

“Truth.” He’d been forced to give Alexia a lap dance less than ten minutes ago, so dare was a bit too much for him at the moment. 

“Why do you hate Eliott?” she asked, and Lucas almost dropped his drink in surprise. That hadn’t been what he’d expected anyone to ask, much less Daphné. He stalled, pretending to take a sip of his beer. It wasn’t like he could tell the truth, not in front of that many people.

He realized everyone was silent, waiting. He could tell part of the truth, the superficial things, at least. “Why do I hate Eliott? Why don’t I hate Eliott? First of all, he acts so much better than everyone just because he got special private lessons from the director when we were ten years old. Manon did too, but you don’t see her acting all superior all the time. Secondly, he shows up late to every single practice. Well, not late, per se, but just on time, which is late in ballet terms, but he still gets the front spot at the barre. He’s also shit at math, which I guess a lot of people are, but he’s like really bad at it. He’s got his head so far up his own ass that he doesn’t realize when his friends are suffering or that when he skips class for a week it affects people other than himself, or maybe he just doesn’t care because the director still treats him like he shits pure gold. Well guess what? He doesn’t shit pure gold. There's a line between self confidence and narcissism, and he thinks he hasn’t crossed it, which only goes to show how much he has—” 

Lucas cut off abruptly, realizing he’d been going on a tangent longer than he’d meant to. It felt so fucking good to say all those things, but deep inside he felt horrible, because he knew that a lot of it wasn’t true. His issues with Eliott were deeper than all the crap he’d just said. He dared to meet Eliott’s eyes over the crowd of dumbfounded people, surprised by the hurt he saw. Before anyone could say a word, Eliott was up, throwing his shirt back over his head and storming out of the circle. Lucas could have sworn he heard the door slam as Eliott left the house. 

Fuck, he hadn’t meant to— he really hadn’t meant most of the things he’d said, he really hadn’t. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Without realizing what he was doing, Lucas stood up from the circle as well, running out after Eliott. He hoped everyone else would think he went to throw up or something so they wouldn’t follow. He fired off a quick text to the gang just in case. 

GROUP CREATED: Lucas Lallemant, Yann Cazas, Arthur Broussard, Basile Savory

Lucas: Not feeling well, I had to go to the bathroom. I’ll text if I feel better but if you don’t hear from me assume I went back to school -_-    

Yann: No prob bro, feel better

Arthur: :( sorry man

Basile: Not feeling as bad as Eliott I bet lmaooooo    

Arthur: Dude

Arthur Broussard removed Basile Savory from the group    

Lucas pocketed his phone, feeling better now that he knew they wouldn’t be waiting for him. Though, he supposed he’d need somewhere to stay for the night to avoid Eliott killing him. 

He thought he lost Eliott until he saw a familiar head of untameable hair storming away across the street, bounce in his step still there even when he was clearly upset.        

“Eliott!”

Eliott turned around and saw Lucas, weariness and fury mingling in his eyes, even from this distance. Of all the times Lucas had told himself that Eliott hated him, this was the only time he thought it might be true. His face was illuminated by the light of the fountain he was standing in front of making the gray in his eyes stand out more and more the closer Lucas got. 

“What?” Eliott asked, crossing his arms, but not making any moves to back away. “Don’t you think you’ve insulted me enough for one night?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean to insult you,” Lucas said, even though it was a lie. Eliott knew it too, raising his eyebrows in disbelief. Lucas backtracked, “Ok, I did mean to at the time, but I came to apologize.”

“Right.” Eliott still didn’t believe him, clearly. 

Lucas didn’t know what else to say, felt like the words were on the tip of his tongue but they wouldn’t form fully. Unfortunately, when he didn’t know what to say, he got defensive. “You know what? I’m not sorry, then. You’ve made my life hell for years, this was barely a taste of what I’ve lived with.”

Eliott breathed out an incredulous gasp and shook his head. “I’ve made your life hell? Are you serious? You’re the one who’s been rude to me every chance you’ve gotten since we were like, twelve.”

“I wouldn’t have been if you hadn’t ditched me the moment it became clear I wasn’t quite up to your standards. You made the choice to abandon me, Eliott, not the other way around,” Lucas argued. 

“Are you kidding me? I was ten! What was I supposed to say when the director of the school told me to take private lessons with him? I never wanted to stop hanging out with you, but you got all jealous and I didn’t know how to make it better! What could I have done?” Eliott shot back.

Lucas laughed mirthlessly, spreading his arms wide. “I don’t know… maybe tried, even a little bit? If you knew me at all, you would have known that I was never jealous of you, I just wanted you to see that I wasn’t ok. After all, you and I both know that I never would have just ditched you for no reason at all. The school could have been burning down and I still would have waited to make sure you got out before me.”

“I was ten!”

“That didn’t make it hurt any less. And lest you forget, I tried to stay friends with you, even when I knew things would never be the same, but you just weren’t that interested in me anymore. I never really saw anyone interest you other than Lucille.” Her name felt filthy on his tongue. Lucas had never really understood why he’d hated Lucille so much, other than the fact that she’d seemed to replace him in Eliott’s life. Sofiane had too, in a way, but Lucas didn’t harbor any hard feelings his way. 

“You know what? Fuck you, Lucas. Lucille was there for me. She knew what it was like to be isolated from the rest of the group because she’d been put up on a pedestal she’d never asked to be put on,” Eliott spat. 

Oh that was fucking rich. Lucas laughed even harder and even more humorlessly. “Oh, well, excuse me for not being as talented as you. Sorry I wasn’t at a high enough level for you to deign to talk to me. I was too busy being beaten by my father to be much good in the studio, I’m afraid.”

Eliott paused. “What the fuck, Lucas? What are you talking about?”

“Like you didn’t know? Every time we hung out during the summer you didn’t wonder why I never wanted to go home, why I flinched away whenever you or your mom or your dad tried to touch me? All those bruises I pretended didn’t exist?”

“You said you were clumsy—”

“And you believed it, Eliott!” Lucas was slightly out of breath and his voice was shaking. “You shouldn’t have believed it! You knew me better than even my parents did, and you didn’t even notice. Yann noticed, but I didn’t want to talk to him about it. I wanted to talk to you.”

Eliott looked pained when he responded, “I don’t— I was ten, I was wrapped up in ballet, and I didn’t notice a lot of things, Lucas. You can’t blame me for not guessing that you were… that things were happening to you that I didn’t know about.”

“I was wrapped up in ballet too, but I still noticed every little thing about you.”

“What do you want me to say? That you were a better friend? Sure, fine, you were soooo great, is that what you want to hear?” Eliott yelled. 

“I want you to apologize!” It was all Lucas wanted, was some acknowledgement that Eliott at least understood why Lucas had distanced himself, why he couldn’t bear to be around him after a certain point. Eliott didn’t respond and Lucas clenched his fists at his sides. Was it really so hard to just say sorry, even if he didn’t fully mean it? “Too good for that?” Lucas spat, “Tell me, what’s the weather like all the way up there on your high horse?”

Eliott took a deep frustrated breath, wiggling his fingers like he either wanted to punch Lucas or a wall. Lucas was hoping for the latter, but the former was more likely. Eliott became calm all of a sudden, looking Lucas dead in the eye. “It’s actually really nice up here. Too bad you’ll never know.”

Then it was all just too much. All of Lucas’ insecurities about not being good enough bubbled to the surface on top of Eliott’s refusal to acknowledge that he’d, even unknowingly, made mistakes, and Lucas didn’t have a moment to think before he shoved Eliott, pushing him into the water of the fountain. Once his blind rage cleared he blinked with regret. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” he stammered, leaning to the edge of the fountain and peering at Eliott, soaked head to toe and sitting stunned on his ass in the water. Lucas held out his hand to pull Eliott out, not realizing how trivial a mistake he’d just made. 

As he should have foreseen, Eliott grasped his hand and pulled, causing Lucas to tumble into the water as well. “Fuck!” he exclaimed, when he resurfaced, wiping water from his eyes, stumbling his way to a standing position.

When his vision cleared he noticed Eliott standing across from him, sheepish look in his eyes. “I’m sorry, that was a petty thing to say and a petty thing to do,” Eliott apologized. 

Lucas didn’t know what to say. Of all the things he’d expected from Eliott in that moment, an apology was not one of them. It wasn’t the apology he’d wanted, but it showed Eliott was capable of uttering the words. Eliott shocked him further, continuing, “I’m sorry too, about how our friendship ended. If I would have known… I’d like to say I would have done things differently, been a better friend. I’m sorry for not knowing, too, it’s not your fault for not telling me. I highly doubt I would have either.”

Lucas stared at Eliott, wondering if he was going mad, imagining the whole thing. “I’m sorry too,” Lucas said, shocking himself even further, “For everything, not just tonight. All the ignoring you and the rude comments and everything… I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean to be as dismissive as I thought you were.” 

“Why?” Eliott asked, taking a step towards him. “You really don’t have a reason to apologize. I’ve been a shitty friend.”

Lucas shrugged, regretting what he was about to say before he said it, but yearning to say it even more. “Because against my better judgement I don’t think you’re so shitty anymore. And I don’t want you to think I am either.”

The water was still splashing them from where it came up in arcs from the center of the fountain, matting their hair down to their heads. Eliott somehow looked beautiful like this, Lucas realized, and with that realization came another. Eliott looked beautiful all the time, and it wasn’t just his obvious external beauty. He was beautiful down to his core, and that was part of what had angered Lucas for all these years, but now Lucas wanted Eliott to know he thought so. He also wanted Eliott to know that he thought his true beauty came from within him, no matter what mistakes he made when he was ten years old.  

The lines between hate and love were really blurry, Lucas realized, really fucking blurry.

He held his hands up in front of his chest, cringing internally, thinking to himself what the hell are you doing? Eliott’s eyes went wide in surprise, then narrowed. “What are you doing?” he asked, voice eerily calm. 

“In your ballet, didn’t you say that the partners come together like this when they finally meet? Once they face their fears and come together for the first time?” Lucas’ voice was no more than a hushed gasp, shallow breaths taken between the loud beats of his heart. Eliott’s fingers fluttered and Lucas almost retracted his hands, thinking himself a fool for doing what he was doing, for thinking Eliott might understand what he was trying to say with the gesture. 

Lucas screwed his eyes shut in embarrassment, seconds away from dipping back under the water and hoping Eliott would forget the whole thing had ever happened, but then he felt a brush of fingers winding and clasping into his own. He folded his hands along with Eliott’s and slowly opened his eyes, seeing the same nervous look he was certain he wore reflected on Eliott’s face. Eliott’s thumb brushed the back of his hand absently, and Lucas was lost. 

Their bodies came together in one fluid motion, Lucas didn’t even know who moved first, but suddenly Eliott’s hands were cupping his face and their lips were pressed together. Lucas ran his hands through the hair he couldn’t stop thinking about, realizing he’d been longing to do so for quite some time. Everything he’d ever wanted to do with Eliott came to him in an instant, as if there was a list he’d compiled somewhere in his head and subsequently ignored until Eliott’s kiss unlocked it. 

Eliott’s tongue swept his lower lip, and Lucas opened his mouth further, inviting as much of Eliott in as he could. He raised up on relevé to reach Eliott better, loving the way Eliott smiled against his mouth as he did so. 

The fountain was still spraying them, and they were still standing up to their knees in the water, but it somehow felt as natural as anything. Eliott pulled back a moment, breathing heavily and looking right into Lucas’ eyes. Kiss me again, Lucas tried to tell him with his eyes, Kiss me until I forget my own name. 

Eliott laughed softly and brushed Lucas’ cheekbone, tracing the lines of water down his face, his neck, his chest. Lucas couldn’t do anything but stare back, completely blinded by what they had just done, how it had made him feel. Another realization struck him, the realization that this had been the kiss he had been waiting for all along. Maybe he hadn’t hated romance after all, he’d just hated himself for wanting something he’d never thought he’d be able to have.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long, fuck,” Eliott whispered against his mouth, and Lucas pulled away a bit to look up at him. 

“Your favorite color is my eyes,” he said dumbly, and Eliott surged forward to kiss him again. Lucas knew they should probably get out of the fountain, but he also wanted to stay there forever, lest the spell be broken. “My favorite color is the color of your eyes too,” he admitted between kisses, needing to even the embarrassment factor between the two of them. 

Eliott laughed gently. “Is that so?”

“Mmhmm.”

“What do you say we go dry off and continue elsewhere?” Eliott suggested and Lucas shook his head adamantly. 

“I don’t want to go back to the real world.”

“Why not?”

“Because in the real world you won’t like me, and I’ll be forced to hate you again.” 

Eliott pressed their foreheads together, cupping Lucas’ cheeks with his hands. “I’ll make you a promise, then.” Lucas nodded softly, asking for him to continue. “I promise that, no matter where we are, you’re it for me. It’ll always be you, the one that I love.”

Love, love, love.

Was it too soon for love, or had they been waiting too long? “Even in the real world?”

“Especially in the real world.”

Lucas considered this. “Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Ok.”

Eliott separated the two of them further, leading Lucas by the hand out of the fountain. When they started walking back to the school, neither one of them released their grip on the hand of the other. “Just so you know,” Lucas said as they walked, “You’re it for me too.”

He’d known it for a while, but he hadn’t wanted to know, covering it up in grudges based in miscommunication and ten year old bullshit. Eliott smiled down at him and pulled him closer as they continued their path, kissing the top of his head. Love, love, love.

#skam france #elu fic #elu ballet au #eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #last dance #elu

[globefan]

Globe director Michelle Terry on untapped potential in Shakespeare’s great plays

 The actor-manager’s second season of plays resonate with a time of great national upheaval

Sarah Hemming

 Michelle Terry arrives for our interview fresh from murdering a king, going mad and killing herself. She has just stepped off the stage after performing Lady Macbeth, one of the most harrowing female characters in Shakespeare’s canon. Not only that, but she will return shortly to do it all again, in the intimate candlelit Sam Wanamaker Playhouse adjacent to Shakespeare’s Globe in London — it’s a two-show day and we are meeting in the brief interlude between matinee and evening performances. She’s remarkably focused, under the circumstances, if ever so slightly wired.

“It’s not the mountain you have to climb when you’ve got Hamlet to do,” she says, with a grin. “But it’s really grim . . . You have to work as hard to get out of character as to get into it.”

Get out of it she must, however, as she is here in her capacity as artistic director of Shakespeare’s Globe, to talk about what comes next. Terry is the second person to lead the Globe as an actor (Mark Rylance was the first) rather than as a director. It’s a combination that has a rich heritage (Laurence Olivier, for instance, led and forged the National Theatre company), but is less common nowadays.

She’s a friendly, open and down-to-earth person — which is probably just as well. She took charge last April at a turbulent time in the theatre’s history: her predecessor Emma Rice had left following a bitter row about the use of contemporary lighting and amplified sound (now discontinued). Terry herself had no previous experience of running a building. And she found herself at the helm of an organisation in flux. It’s been quite the learning curve, she admits.

“[That period] was toxic and difficult, but out of it came a very clear agenda for what the Globe could offer,” she says. “The organisation was at the beginning of figuring itself out again. And to bring an actor-manager in, that’s quite a big pebble to throw in a pond already full of ripples. So I think it has taken all of us a year to figure out what that means. There is genuine great will to think and behave differently, to offer a different, more collaborative way of working.”

Now she launches her second season at a time of divisive national upheaval. The first play in the main open-air Globe space in 2019 — it is closed all winter — will open just a couple of weeks after the UK is scheduled to leave the EU. It’s perhaps no surprise that she has chosen Shakespeare’s great examination of leadership, responsibility and national identity — his history play cycle — to be the centrepiece of this summer’s action. After Richard II in the Sam Wanamaker Playhouse, the 2019 season rolls through Henry IV, Parts 1 and 2 and Henry V on the big outdoor stage, and then returns to the SWP for an intimate staging of all three parts of Henry VI. Alongside will be more boisterous fare in The Merry Wives of Windsor, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Ben Jonson’s Bartholomew Fair.

“We’re at a critical point in our international and national history,” Terry explains. “So there is no better time to look at a playwright who was looking back to understand his own present: we are sort of doing the same thing.” Terry knows from personal experience how live those plays can feel: she was performing Henry V in 2016 (playing the title role) when the referendum on EU membership took place. “The play suddenly took on a different life because of national events.”   

If our job is to hold a mirror up to nature, [we should ask] who is holding the mirror and who is being reflected It’s not unusual to find contemporary resonance in Shakespeare. For Terry, however, the significance lies not just in the works themselves, but in the casts that stage them. The entire cycle will be staged by one ensemble and will continue the practice, begun with her opening shows Hamlet and As You Like It, of applying gender-, race- and disability-blind casting.

“As crucial as the content of the plays is, I think there is also something crucial about who is making the work,” she says. “If our job is to hold a mirror up to nature, [we should ask] who is holding the mirror and who is being reflected.”

This is a policy that chimes with the current drive to achieve more equal representation throughout the theatre industry. It follows Phyllida Lloyd’s excellent all-female Shakespeare productions and recent illuminating gender-switch performances: Maxine Peake as Hamlet, Glenda Jackson as Lear among them. It’s a practice that can also attract heated criticism. Terry has had vitriolic letters about it, some of which attack her personally. So why continue?

“I persist because this is why [the work] will survive another 400 years,” she says. “We’re only at the beginning of unlocking the potential of these plays. Having a deaf actress playing Celia [in As You Like It], for instance, revealed the play in a way we could never have imagined. These plays were never about being literal: they were about transformative, imaginative transactions. To get back to that we have to smash up all of that literal expectation.”

In the depth of winter, the Globe’s great wooden O is dark and silent. But in the summer it’s a palpably democratic space, open to the elements, with a large standing audience and shared light (everyone can see everyone else), which fosters a particularly vivid engagement between audience and actors. It also demands openness, flexibility and spontaneity in both cast and crowd. Direct experience of those conditions, Terry reflects, is something she, as an actor-manager, can bring to running the theatre.

“I would be no use sitting at a desk,” she says. “I am much more useful on the stage thinking, ‘The audience aren’t with us on this one, why not?’ What is difficult is trying to do both.”

So what has she learnt? Terry pauses.

“That change is slow,” she replies, finally. “And how important it is to articulate the common purpose. I think what the Globe can offer is Shakespeare for all, by all. And that has to be the people who criticise me for my gender-blind casting as much as the people who love it. That’s quite a hard place to sit.”

Copyright The Financial Times Limited 2019. All rights reserved.

#michelle terry #shakespeare's globe

[themoonlightarchive]

2018 was a wild ride for me. I had to move twice - willingly at first and then because our house was being sold from under us. I was in a car accident that completely totaled my car, leaving me stranded for two weeks until we could get approved for a new car. My best friend who I met through Tumblr over five years ago came to visit me for the first time ever. And I got married! Throughout all of that, I somehow managed to reach my goal of 40 books for the year (and then some). Read below the cut for the rest of my 2018 wrap-up!

Here are the 44 books I read:

A Darker Shade of Magic (V.E. Schwab)

A Gathering of Shadows (V.E. Schwab)

A Conjuring of Light (V.E. Schwab)

The Witch Doesn't Burn In This One (Amanda Lovelace)

Tonic (Staci Hart)

The Belles (Dhonielle Clayton)

Sex, Not Love (Vi Keeland)

A Little Too Late (Staci Hart)

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Jenny Han)

Honeybee (Traci Mateer)

An Ember In The Ashes (Sabaa Tahir)

Intoxicated (Jeana E. Man)

Good Girl (Jana Aston)

Accidental Fiance (R.R. Banks)

Stuck (Logan Chance)

A Shadow Bright And Burning (Jessica Cluess)

The Virgin and The Beast (Stasia Black)

Rockaway Bride (Pippa Grant)

Bigshot Boss (Cat Carmine)

Addicted To You (Krista Ritchie)

Dirty Girl (Meghan March)

Glass Sword (Victoria Aveyard)

The Billionaire's Wake-Up-Call Girl (Annika Martin)

P.S. I Still Love You (Jenny Han)

Always And Forever, Lara Jean (Jenny Han)

Pretty Fierce (Kieran Scott)

The Girls At 17 Swann Street (Yara Zgheib)

Soft Thorns (Bridgett Devoue)

A Shameless Little Con (Meli Raine)

Labyrinth Lost (Zoraida Córdova)

A Shameless Little Lie (Meli Raine)

Dirty Neighbor (Cassie-Anne L. Miller)

Stranded (Piper Sullivan)

Undead Girl Gang (Lily Anderson)

War of Storms (Erica Cameron)

Savor You (Kristen Proby)

My Best Everything (Sarah Tomp)

Since You've Been Gone (Morgan Matson)

Vanishing Girls (Lauren Oliver)

Opal (Maggie Stiefvater)

Queen of Klutz (Samantha Garman)

Sugar and Ice (Aven Ellis)

His Package (Penelope Bloom)

Four Day Fling (Emma Hart)

And here are my top ten reads of the year:

1. A Darker Shade of Magic (V.E. Schwab) goodreads | amazon | book depository

I put off reading this series for a while but finally bought all three of them at once and I am so glad that I did. I absolutely adored Kell and Delilah and reading of their journey together. If you’re a fan of magic and fantasy, this series is perfect for you!

2. A Gathering of Shadows (V.E. Schwab) goodreads | amazon | book depository 3. A Conjuring of Light  (V.E. Schwab) goodreads | amazon | book depository 4. An Ember In The Ashes  (Sabaa Tahir) goodreads | amazon | book depository

I actually won a copy of this from a Goodreads giveaway (only the second I’ve ever won over the years I’ve had an account)! And it was only shortly after having added it to my wishlist. Such an interesting story and beautiful writing. I’m not entirely sure why I haven’t picked up the rest of the series yet. Hopefully I’ll get to them soon!

5. The Girls at 17 Swann Street (Yara Zgheib) goodreads | amazon | book depository

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I don’t know what I was expecting but it definitely wasn’t such beautiful writing, a heartbreaking story and great characters. It was truly wonderful to read. I highly recommend it to anyone just for the insight into eating disorders.

6. Labyrinth Lost (Zoraida Córdova) goodreads | amazon | book depository

In all honesty, my expectations for Labyrinth Lost were too high going in. I was left with a book that turned out much differently than I thought it was going to and feeling a little bit put off. I enjoyed the writing and the characters and hope that one day revisiting it will fuel my desire to continue the series.

7. Since You’ve Been Gone (Morgan Matson) goodreads | amazon | book depository

This book was sososo good! I thought it was going to be a quick, cute read that I liked but didn’t love. But I got so much more from it. It was funny and sad and I truly enjoyed reading it. I even cried a little at the end (ask my husband, he was there)! I highly recommend it.

8. War of Storms (Erica Cameron) goodreads | amazon | book depository

I was given the opportunity to read this trilogy by the author and publisher. I was so excited when I was contacted to read War of Storms. This series is so unique, diverse and interesting. It so easily kept me captivated. It’s definitely worth a read!

9. The Witch Doesn't Burn In This One (Amanda Lovelace) goodreads | amazon | book depository

Amanda Lovelace is magical. Is there really anything else to say? I loved this one as much as her first and I can’t wait to get my hands on the rest of her work. She’s a wonderful writer and I aspire to be as great as her.

10. Sex, Not Love (Vi Keeland) goodreads | amazon | book depository

I had to throw one of the many romance novels I read into my top ten. This one was hilarious, steamy and wonderful.

2019 Goals

For 2019, I’d like to read 40 books. I want to aim for more but I don’t want to cause unneeded stress because of a number. Maybe next year! Aside from that, I’d like to read more poetry and less romance novels. I think I say that every year though and always end up right back to my smutty ways. Oh well, no regrets.

Did you reach your goals for 2018? What are your goals for the new year?

#booklr #book tumblr #book blog #book blogger #2018 wrapup #yearlywrapup #myyearinbooks #my year in books #*

[alexandralyman]

Could you make a one shot/short story that’s sort of a prequel to Gloriana? Like how killian and Emma became close and what happened that night at Hatfield house?

Gloriana - my Tudor Court AU with Emma as Elizabeth I and Killian as a mix of Robert Dudley and Francis Drake - was one of those fics that I did intend to continue but time just got away from me, and it did work as a one shot so I left it as it was. But I had started writing a second part forever ago and when I got this message I pulled up the file, reread it and my inner history nerd came out again and….

….7,000 words later, here is Part 2. I always envisioned this as a non-linear story anyway, so there’s two flashback scenes plus a scene that takes place after the events of part 1 and I’ve included the night at Hatfield referenced in this line, “She hadn’t been a virgin since that night at Hatfield House lo those many years ago, when Killian had taken her to his bed and made her a woman in his arms, ruining her for any other man from that day forward.”

(so yeah, it’s rated M - hope you like it, Nonnie!)Part 1 is here on Tumblr and the fic is posted on ff.net hereGloriana - Part 2Hampton Court PalaceSome Time Ago

“I do not believe we have been properly introduced, my lord.”

“We have not, but I’m afraid I must correct you, Your Highness, as I am not a lord.”

“And I must correct you, good sir, as I am simply Lady Emma and in my sister’s court it is a foolish mistake to call me Highness.”

The tall man with bright blue eyes that reminded Emma of the sea leaned down slightly in a graceful hint of a bow and lowered his voice so that it carried only to her ears, “I assure you I am no fool, Your Highness. My name is Killian Jones, and I have come to court to swear my service solely to the Princess Emma, lawful daughter of the great King David and true heiress to the throne of England.”

Across the room Philip of Spain bowed somewhat stiffly to Emma’s half sister Mary, daughter of her late father David and his first wife, the repudiated Kathryn. The whole of the court was there to celebrate their marriage, including Emma, the rather inconvenient heiress presumptive who Mary could hardly bear the sight of at times but couldn’t quite ignore completely. The courtiers tended to follow their queen’s lead and few were brave enough to be seen conversing openly with Mary Blanchard’s daughter. Queen Mary’s memory was long and her hatred of the dark haired siren of a woman who had drawn her father away from Kathryn had never abated over the years, frequently spilling over to the only child of the passionate union between king and commoner.

“Watch your tongue, Master Jones. You very nearly speak of treason,” Emma warned in a hiss, back straight and gaze darting from side to side to reassure herself that no one had overheard. She might have been standing alone amid the wedding revels before the stranger approached her, but she was not so foolish as to believe that she was unseen. Spies were rife at the English court, as Spain, France and Scotland all vied for European supremacy and England was the board on which the pieces moved. Bishops, knights, kings, and a little white pawn with faint hope of being queened.

The man smiled, clearly unconcerned. “I merely speak the truth. Spain might be England’s bedfellow for a time, but planting seeds in a fallow field is no guarantee of a fruitful harvest.”

Emma was faintly shocked by his daring, both for speaking to her at all and for the rather crude reference to her sister’s marriage bed. But there was no denying that Mary was of an age where the prospect of children was far from assured, even with a virile younger husband like Philip and every restored Catholic priest in England praying desperately for their very devout queen to get with child. The petty, spiteful part of Emma had chosen to dress in a manner that flattered her own youth and bore the unmistakable hallmarks of her split bloodline for the festivities, golden hair inherited from her father just peeking out from under the curved velvet band of her French hood, whilst Mary’s graying locks were concealed completely in an attempt to camouflage the age difference between her and Philip. The queen’s gown was splendid, sewn all over with gems, slashed and puffed as a peacock, and in contrast Emma’s unfashionably plain dress was as spare and demure as a nun’s habit save for the wide Blanchard sleeves that unfolded so prettily and touched the floor when she’d curtsied to her frowning sister and new, speculative-eyed brother before retiring to her place in the shadows to watch and wait by herself for the tides to turn.

Only now she no longer waited alone.

She glanced at the man who stood boldly at her side while the rest of the court spurned her, a handsome figure in his black doublet, dark-haired, sharp jawed and an even sharper wit that was not unwelcome as he made several more cutting remarks towards the Spanish delegation. Emma was used to her solitude, it was as familiar as a lover to her, and she’d survived this long on her own, but she wondered with a sudden burst of wistfulness if she would ever be allowed to wed. Not so long as the queen remained childless, Emma knew, her claim on her sister’s throne was dangerous enough as it was, let alone if she bore a son before Mary did. Besides, marriage was a shackle that would bind her to the whims of a man as England was now bound to serve Spanish interests and her mother had been bound to her father until his professed True Love turned to something so dark and ugly in the end.

“I’ve vexed you.”

Killian Jones’s handsome smile turned to a frown as his eyes searched her face and his obvious concern pierced her disquiet. Her unringed hand found his sleeve, uncaring who saw the Lady Emma conversing so closely with a man of unknown loyalties, a Scottish spy sent to court by Cora de Guise perhaps, or a Protestant rebel looking to roust the Spanish delegation from English soil. She had the sense that he was neither, seeking not her secrets to sell nor a figurehead for his cause, and his offer to join her service was intriguing. If….when…the time came that the crown should need a new brow upon which to rest, she would need able men to help hold it steady, as a woman without a husband to wear it for her.

“No, milord, you have not.”

“Not a lord,” he reminded her with a saucy wink that made her colour as no nobleman ever had, “As you are not a queen, my Lady Emma.”

His lips just brushed the shell of her ear, whiskered cheek touching hers for the briefest of moments and Emma felt a flutter low in her belly under the stomacher of her gown at both the heat from his body and the promise in the single word he spoke.

“Yet.”

.

.

Several Years Later

“Your Majesty?”

Queen Emma didn’t turn around, standing at the window of the small audience chamber and looking down into the courtyard below. Ladies walked arm-in-arm in their bright gowns, followed by more soberly clad servants who carried shawls and baskets of necessities. Courtiers stood in small groups, their swords at their hips and their heads bent close in discussion. There was a clear divide, between the old guard of Catholic families who still retained a few drops of royal Plantagenet blood despite her father and her grandfather’s best efforts to stamp it out, and those risen to new estates and titles as rewards for supporting the young Nolan dynasty and its even younger Church.

She had such a reward to grant now to one who had always supported her since the day they met.

“Your Majesty we really must discuss this further.”

“There is nothing to discuss,” she replied in a crisp voice, tapping a long oval nail against one of the diamond-shaped window panes, “I shall make the formal announcement tonight.”

“But….Lord High Admiral? You are really going to appoint Captain Jones to such an exalted position?”

“After the success of his voyage he has more than proved himself able to hold the post.”

“No commoner has ever been named-“

“Which is why,” she interrupted, “I will also be conferring upon him the title of Earl of Misthaven.”

Silence reigned for a long moment before Sir Archibald Hopper, Secretary of State and longtime advisor to the queen, let out a heavy sigh at the news and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “The Spanish Ambassador will not be pleased by that.”

Emma smiled, idly tracing patterns on the glass that bore more than a passing resemblance to the letters K and E. “Nothing pleases the Spanish Ambassador, and nothing ever will so long as I remain so inconveniently alive and in his master’s way. Ever since I refused Philip’s generous marriage proposal when my sister had scarcely grown cold in her tomb and denied him a second chance at England’s throne I have suffered much Spanish displeasure. You’d think the presence of his new French bride at his court would console him more, they do say Aurora de Valois is quite the beauty.”

“It won’t only be Spain, there are members of the council who will also object to this appointment. The Duke of Norfolk has been angling for his own candidate for several months now.”

She turned at that and arched a scornful brow, “While he corresponds behind my back with the Queen of Scots. His Grace is angling for much more than another royal appointment for his household, he is seeking a crown. But when he finally proposes marriage to Regina Stuart without my permission then he will either cool his heels in the Tower or join her in Edinburgh as an outlaw while I take his lands and title as forfeit. He can marry her as plain Robert Locksley and try to rule the Scottish chieftains if he is so inclined, but he will keep his greedy hands off my scepter.”

Her voice rose in anger and a lesser man would have backed down in the face of her obvious displeasure, but Hopper, her Conscience, as she called him, was made of sterner stuff and looked his queen right in the eye. “They say that Captain Jones also has his eyes on a crown, Your Majesty. You can name him Lord High Admiral and raise him to the peerage if you wish, but you must know that you can not marry a man of common birth.”

“Why is everyone in England so obsessed with the notion of marriage?” she snapped, two spots of colour appearing high in her pale cheeks, “I have no intention of marrying Captain Jones, Lord Hopper, nor any man, be he prince or peasant.”

“You can’t continue to hold all of Europe at bay without a husband and an heir to succeed you,” Hopper explained patiently, and not for the first time, “You have your choice of any unmarried noble from your court or the younger sons of all the royal houses, France, Sweden, Savoy, but eventually you must choose.”

The queen swept from the window, worrying at the gold coronation ring on her finger. “Have the letters patent drawn up. Killian Jones will be named Earl of Misthaven and Lord High Admiral of the English fleet. I trust you can handle any objections from the Council, and perhaps lay aside some smelling salts for when the news reaches the Spanish Ambassador.”

“Who is Killian Jones to you, Your Majesty?”

Hopper’s voice stopped her before she reached the door. The royal back went straight and silence reigned again for so long that he was sure she wasn’t going to answer. But at last she looked over her shoulder and regarded him where he sat on a low stool. Few were afforded the great privilege of sitting while the queen stood, only Hopper, Mistress Ruby Lucas, and one other who only ever exercised that right in private, never in public.

“He was a friend at a time when I had precious few and each was more valuable to me than any jewel. For his continued loyalty he has earned his reward, as I reward all who serve me and only me, yourself included, Sir Archibald. My family name is Nolan, for once we had had no land of our own and only the slimmest of claims to the throne. But now I am queen and I am England, and England has many enemies, some of whom dwell in this very court like snakes hiding in the grass. I need men like Captain Jones at my side to help flush them out and keep them from striking.”

The queen left Sir Archibald Hopper alone in the empty room, where he shook his head sadly and murmured to himself, “Killian Jones may walk behind you and sun himself in your glory, Emma Nolan, but he can never truly stand at your side.”

In a court where gossip was a currency more valued than coin the news surprisingly did not leak in the hours between the meeting of the Privy Council and the start of the banquet, another celebration thrown by the queen in honour of Captain Jones and the success of his voyage. The privateer was dressed all in black as was his custom and the queen had opted to don a new gown of white silk embroidered with thousands of pearls. Ropes of them also hung about her slender neck and fell from her ears, and it did not escape notice among the assembly that she had chosen to adorn herself so lavishly with gems from the sea. They all watched as she made her entry into the hall, framed between the carved oak doors that stood fifteen feet high on either side of her. Skirts rustled as the ladies curtsied to their queen, dipping down low when she passed with eyes demurely lowered to the floor. Emma walked straight to Killian, seeing nothing but him, the rest of the court was nothing but a smudge on the glass, unimportant and beneath her notice. Sir Archibald was her Conscience, her guide through the tricky and treacherous world of ambitious men and duplicitous women that she ruled, Mistress Ruby Lucas was Chief Lady of the Bedchamber, keeper of her deepest, darkest secrets and immune to any form of bribery or threats, while Killian Jones was bestowed with a secret title, one spoken only in stolen moments and known to only the two of them.

He was Emma’s Heart.

Not the queen’s.

Emma’s.

The sword at his hip was ornamental, a blunted blade beneath a silver guard and a pommel shaped like the neck of a swan, curved to fit his hand and adorned with emerald eyes that matched the gems in the necklace he had gifted her (and had, in fact, been chipped from one of the stones). A gasp went through the crowd when the queen unsheathed it with her own hand, reaching around his waist to do so in a gesture of breathtaking intimacy between Sovereign and subject. The Duke of Norfolk let out a strangled noise in the back of his throat while the Spanish Ambassador swore violently in his head, both realizing what was about to happen a minute too late.

“Captain Killian Jones, I confer upon thou as our most able subject for the post, the office of Lord High Admiral of the English fleet, to protect and defend the realm from those who would seek to do us and our kingdom such grievous harm.”

Killian had knelt obediently at Emma’s feet when she drew his sword, face betraying none of the smug satisfaction he felt. He’d known she would grant him this after the great success of his voyage, making the bitter years of separation sweet at last with his victory over all who’d sneered at his common name and scorned his prowess on the sea. No one would protect England as he would, for Emma was England personified, and he would protect her and defend her, until his dying breath. But her next proclamation caught even him off guard.

“I also name thee Earl of Misthaven.”

The flat of the blade lifted from his shoulder and caught the candlelight, flashing bright and seeming to ripple along the metal like a stone dropped in a still pool. So too did a ripple run through the crowd, as the implications of their queen’s decree sank in just as quickly. Emma Nolan had raised a commoner to the peerage, a dark-haired, French-educated commoner who groped for her free hand and kissed the back of it, head bent reverently over her slim wrist. David Nolan had done the same for Mary Blanchard once upon a time, the dark-haired, French-educated commoner he had loved so ardently.

And everyone knew how that story had ended.

“My Queen.”

The new earl looked up at his queen, seeing a smile playing at the edge of her vermillion lips. The memory tugged at the back of his mind, of another night, in another court, where he’d first paid his homage to a bastard daughter with barely a farthing to his name as a marriage was celebrated around them. Now she was the Sovereign, her inheritance firmly secured by nothing but her own skill and cunning, and he was a nobleman, one of the wealthiest in the entire country thanks to her royal patronage.

“My Lord.”

Emma swept back a lock of black hair from his forehead with a lingering touch, her expression tender and unguarded as she looked down at him and the court watched with bated breath. The Spanish Ambassador would write in his next dispatch that the English Queen “is clearly following in the footsteps of her father with the commoner Jones, now Earl of Misthaven, her close companion since his return from sea, and allows him to take unprecedented liberties with her person while he makes love openly to the queen with his increasingly lavish gifts and insincere flattery and is even said to be planning a marriage proposal” while Regina of Scotland sent a coded letter to the Duke of Norfolk upon hearing the news in Edinburgh and asked “Dearest Robin” if it was really true that “the illegitimate Blanchard bitch traded yearning looks and doey eyes with Captain Whoreson, a perfectly matched pair in their pretentions, as the self-styled Saviour of England has exalted a man of no name or family out from under her skirts” but no one openly challenged the queen’s decree and they all gave way to the couple when the earl rose to his feet and led the queen to the raised dais at the end of the hall where she gave the order to begin the feast.

“Will you come to me again tonight?”

His blue eyes were dark and imploring, the sea upon which she’d gladly drown. Emma rubbed a finger over one of the pearls sewn onto her skirt and gave an imperceptible shake of her head, speaking behind her goblet of wine.

“It’s too risky. The eyes of the entire court turn to you tonight, Lord Misthaven, and there is not shadow enough at Whitehall now to shield us from their scrutiny. Though you would not lack for feminine companionship in your chambers if you so wish it.”

“I wish only for you.”

The ladies of the court held no allure, and though he was a man of healthy appetites and knew he could easily charm his way into almost any bed he wished with his dashing countenance and new title, the Earl of Misthaven had his sights set on one only.

“Spain is watching us, as is Scotland through Norfolk’s eyes,” the queen cautioned, her own gaze finding the sour-faced ambassador and her scowling cousin Robert Locksley across the room. No one was close enough to overhear, but both men had other ears planted in the queen’s household, listening intently for any hint of scandal, and the most scandalous thing about the unmarried queen was her close relationship with her new, equally unmarried Lord High Admiral.

“If there is not shadow enough at Whitehall, my ship is docked at Portsmouth, and we could be there by the morrow on a fast steed. Say the word, Emma.”

A look passed between them that did not go unnoticed, a memory shared not by queen and earl, but by the woman under the silk gown and the man behind the moniker.

“It’s too late for that now, Killian.”

The pearl came free from the silver thread and was pressed into his palm in lieu of what she could not grant him tonight, her fingers closing his around it and lingering for a brief moment before the queen abruptly stood and everyone around who was seated scrambled madly to their feet. Mistress Ruby Lucas remained where she was in her chair, exercising the privilege granted to her by her royal charge until the queen passed the gaping courtiers and she finally rose to fall in step behind her, her scarlet gown like a trail of blood following the pristine white. In public Captain Jones always stood when the queen did, and he shifted his weight to one foot and rested a hand on the hilt of his sword with the pearl clutched tight in the other as he watched her walk away from him and his offer for the second time in his life.

“Congratulations, my lord Misthaven.”

He accepted Sir Archibald Hopper’s loud acknowledgement of his new status with a stiff nod, while several nobleman traded black looks and low conversations arose up and down the hall as alliances shifted like the sands to accommodate this latest development. He expected several to darken his door over the next few days with their proposals, to place younger sons in his service and even perhaps to attempt to arrange a marriage and see a daughter or a niece made a new countess at his side.

“Her Majesty was adamant that there was no one else who could fulfill the role and that any dissenting opinion would not be tolerated.”

That mollified Killian slightly and he flashed a smile that sent several of the young and not so young ladies standing nearby into a blushing tizzy. “I’m a hell of a captain.”

Hopper’s face was placid and his tone was light, but there was no mistaking the warning when he spoke to the man his queen had chosen if not as consort, then as something as unprecedented as her own unlikeliest of ascensions.

“Good. Because the storm is brewing on the horizon, and when it hits, all of England will feel the consequences of these decisions. Especially the queen.”

Emma had made her choice long ago, on a night when her path forked and a vow was sworn in blood. It had stained the sheets between them, the spilled drops a dark crimson circle on the pale linens like the red petals that ringed the white of the Nolan rose. The emblem of the royal house to which she would always truly belong to more than any man was inescapable, even during those few, secret hours when she was oh so fleetingly his.

He answered the Secretary of State not in the manner of a courtier, elegant and refined and as flexible as the wind, ready to twist and turn and follow whichever way it was blowing. Earl of Misthaven and Lord High Admiral of the English fleet he might be, Killian Jones was, at heart, a cunning pirate who’d sailed through his share of storms even before he was the queen’s privateer and it was that man who replied as he would on the docks, with a dip of his chin and a single, clipped, “Aye.”

.

HertfordshireLast Months of Queen Mary’s Reign

The lone rider urged his large black horse to a gallop along the winding roads and lush green fields of the countryside far from the capital, cloak flying out behind him and hat pulled down low on his head, raising a great cloud of dust beneath the sharp hooves that pounded unrelentlessly mile after mile as his own heart pounded madly against his ribs.

Not from the exertion of the strenuous ride.

From fear.

His gloved hands were cramped tight around the reins and only loosened a fraction when the squat rise of Hatfield House finally came into view, the low sloping roof stark against the rapidly setting sun that plucked fire from the red brick and leaded windows of the large country estate. In London the heretics burned at Smithfield and the sky above the city was black with the smoke for days on end, it drifted as far south as the docks at Portsmouth and carried the ash of the condemned souls away on the wind while the ships in the harbour still limply flew both English and Spanish flags in honour of the disastrous marriage pact between their half-Spanish queen and Spain’s king.

Captain Killian Jones served neither queen nor king, having sworn himself to another whose swan badge he wore in secret, close to his heart. He alighted from the saddle and left his lathered horse in the care of a white-faced groom before entering the house, scarcely stopping to knock the dust from his boots in his haste. Mistress Ruby Lucas met him inside the Great Hall as if she’d been expecting him, answering his half-entreaty, half-command of, “I need to speak with Her Highness. Now.” with a thin-lipped nod, not questioning the reason for such urgency.

“This way, Captain.”

There was hardly a servant to be seen about in the corridors or in the rooms glimpsed through open doors as Killian followed Mistress Lucas deeper into the house where Princess Emma had spent much of her uncertain childhood and remained her principal and favoured residence after the deaths of both her father and brother, an inheritance that went unchallenged by her sister to keep her away from London. Normally bustling with activity as the quasi-royal household of the heiress to the throne and shadow court to Mary’s, Hatfield House was strangely shuttered and still now, quiet as a tomb with only the faint retort of his own footfalls echoing along the long gallery. There were no squires cooling their heels and waiting for an audience, no messengers taking a mouthful of wine after delivering a letter, and Killian thought scornfully of rats deserting a sinking ship, as news must have spread that the Lady Emma had lost what little remained of her sister’s favour and the hangers-on had all fled lest they go down with her as well.

But not Killian Jones. He had made straight for Hatfield when his own man had sent the word.

It was at Hatfield where Emma had personally supplied Killian with the funds that went straight to his small ship, allowing him to purchase the foodstuffs needed for longer, more profitable journeys than he was currently able to undertake and speculate on cargos with no ready buyers to front the cost. It was at Hatfield where he’d brought her back the fruits of his voyages, spools of Brussels lace and costly Venetian glass, watching her face light up at both the gifts and at his safe return from sea and telling her tales by the fire of the lands he had visited as the wine flowed and the hours slipped by without notice or care.

It was at Hatfield where he had fallen hopelessly, utterly, wholeheartedly, in love with the girl who should be queen.

Mistress Lucas ushered him into a chamber and she was seated in a chair by the window, sitting straight-backed and staring at nothing. He hair was loose, a spill of gold down her back with no modest hood to conceal it, while she was garbed in a robe that was hardly suitable for receiving an unrelated man, though it was heavy and fur-trimmed against the chill it was low-necked and revealed the white swell of her bosom and the slim column of her throat, slender and delicate, as her mother’s was said to have been. Her former governess withdrew with a curtsey and closed the door behind her when she left, soft click of the latch loud in the silent room and leaving them alone without so much as the pretense of a chaperone to guard against wagging tongues and whispered allegations. Killian supposed it no longer mattered, not now, not when the worst accusation of them all was about to be levied against the Lady Emma’s Grace.  

He spoke without preamble, “My spies have informed me that the queen signed a secret warrant for your arrest, on charges of high treason. They will be here no later than tomorrow afternoon to escort you back to London.”

There wasn’t so much as a flicker of emotion in response to his announcement, no gasp of alarm or draining of colour from her cheeks. There was only the barest arch of a brow as her gemstone-green gaze finally flicked to his.

“You have spies in my sister’s household, Killian?”

“Aye,” he answered, bothering to speak like a courtier as he moved to kneel in front of her and took her unresisting hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the rapidly fluttering pulse on the inside of his wrist. His informants had been well paid and it had been worth every penny to be kept apprised of the state of affairs at court, where Emma’s sister had failed to conceive a child and Philip had left his wife behind to wallow in her failure while he returned to his father’s empire and refused to come back to England. There would be no heir of Mary’s body born to succeed her, but she was loathe to let the daughter of her greatest enemy take her crown.

“My ship is docked at Portsmouth, we could be there by the morrow on a fast steed. My own is too spent from the journey, I’ll have the groom saddle a fresh mount from your stable whilst you don your plainest riding habit. The Dutch will surely offer you sanctuary inside their borders, or we could make for the Low Countries or-”

“I’m not leaving England.”

He reeled back as if she had slapped him, “What? Your Highness, please, if you don’t come with me tonight then they’ll take you to the Tower, and there will be no chance of rescuing you once you are secured behind those walls.”

She trembled and gave a heavy swallow at the mere thought of the ancient stronghold, but Emma did not waver in her conviction. “If I flee with you now, the moment I set foot off English soil my guilt will be confirmed in the eyes of the entire country. I will be convicted without fair trial, be branded traitor to the crown, and so will you.”

His face was a twisted mass of thunderclouds and storm, raging with the force of his emotions and the hand on hers tightened almost painfully. “Damn me for a traitor then, for I’ll not serve any crown or any prince save you and would rather sail lawlessly under the crimson flag for the rest of my days so long as you were kept safe from your enemies. For God’s sake, Emma, fair trial or not, you could still be executed for this, as your mother was before you.”

No one spoke the name Mary Blanchard at Hatfield, though her presence was the unseen ghost behind every fluttering curtain when there was no breeze and the shadow from every candle that flickered and danced so merrily before snuffing out. Once upon a time a king had loved a commoner he could not have, loved her beyond all reason and sense, a love so deep that it had nearly rent England right in two. Emma Nolan was her father’s daughter with her golden hair, but ambitious Blanchard blood ran through her veins, blood that had been spilled to see a daughter set upon a throne where no woman had ever sat before.

Killian begged and pled, “Don’t do this, Emma, please!” but she would not be moved. It was her destiny, set in motion long before she had even been born. It was a curse, inescapable, that had swept across the land and only she could break it.

There were tears on his face in the amber light from the fire, wet rivulets that carved tracks down his cheeks and she tasted the salt when she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was a brand, a promise, a whisper of words she could not speak. Emma rose from her chair and let the robe fall from her shoulders to reveal the white silk chemise that she wore underneath, pure and unblemished, a thin, unsubstantial thing without corset or farthingale to shape and sculpt her form into that of a king’s daughter. Killian Jones sat dazed on the floor while she stood, too stunned by the sight of her to even try to arise to his feet when a lady did as a gentleman should.

“I will be queen and I will make you a lord, and all of England will one day be mine. But if I am truly fated to die on the scaffold like my mother before me, then I do not wish to die a virgin.”

She too loved a man she could not have, common born but with a noble heart hidden underneath that would best any prince. In a flash Emma was in his arms, pressed boldly against him from shoulder to shin while his mouth crashed down on hers and his large hands spanned the narrow turn of her waist to pull her even closer. Her fingers fumbled with his belt, sending it clattering to the floor in a heavy thump of leather and cloak and codpiece both quickly followed. In nothing but flowing shirt and close-fitting hose Killian lifted her up, striding into the adjoining bedchamber and kicking the door closed impatiently with his heel. The curtains were already pulled back and tied to the post, letting them fall straight to the mattress with his mouth never leaving hers.

Killian went onto his knees on either side of her and took the neck of the chemise in his hands, tearing it open down the front with no care for the cost of the silk in his ardour. Nude, she was much smaller than when fully gowned in sweeping skirts and padded bodices, delicate as gossamer with fine white skin that would bear the marks of his loving to be hidden away afterwards, his rough, sailor’s hands not meant to touch the likes of her. But touch her he did, thumbing over the apples of her cheeks as gently as he could and tipping her chin up to receive his kiss again. The long golden curls coyly veiled her breasts like a siren of the deep, he pushed the strands aside to reveal the rosy tips that went pebbled and tight from the exposure and even more so when he bent to take one in his mouth, a tiny gasp of surprise escaping her at the sensation and hands fisting tight in his hair with a burst of pleasure-pain that prickled all along his scalp. Killian slid a palm down over her hip and felt the brush of the downy hair that feathered over her mound against his stomach, making him twitch with need and fighting his baser instincts, laying his head on her breast and closing his eyes to take a breath and quell the boiling urge rising within lest he lose all control and just take her without care.

“Killian.”

The weight of his body on hers was not the burden she expected to have to bear, it was a comfort, warm and reassuring even as she trembled under him with the nerves she fought so hard to conceal from everyone but her most intimate of companions. There was nothing to conceal her now from his avid gaze, dark and wanting, and oh did she want, wanted nothing more to be the only woman he looked at like that. She laid her hands on his bare chest once he tossed his shirt aside, eager to touch and explore and marveled at the fine mat of hair that covered it all the way down to his navel, feeling the flex of his ribs and the scars normally hidden by linen and wool, lash marks laid on his broad back from uncaring masters who she swore would feel her own wrath one day. His maleness stood out proudly from the wiry thatch between his legs and was hot and velvet-smooth against her palm, while her heart raced and her pulse throbbed between her own, suddenly slippery thighs, an ache that only grew more demanding with every brush of skin to skin, every sigh that escaped kiss-swollen lips.

“Lay back, darling.”

The order was breathed into her ear and she reclined back against the pillow while his knees spread hers apart and his hips rolled forward until there was nothing that remained but the final join of his body to hers and it would be done. Her maidenhead belonged to England, not her, but Emma was already a traitor in the eyes of the Crown just by virtue of her birth anyway. High treason was committed at Hatfield not in any secret plot or plan to seize the throne, but in a pirate’s bed when he claimed her virtue for his own in a sharp thrust that stole the breath from her lungs and she let out only the barest cry as he pierced through the barrier inside with his forehead pressed to hers. Dark satisfaction filled her even as Killian did, firm buttocks cupped under her heels and hips positioned just so between her open thighs. She belonged to England, but she loved a man as her father had loved her mother and like the late King David she would have both, her land and her lover and let nothing and no one stand in her way.

Killian started to move, a heavy slide of flesh against flesh that made her shiver despite the fact that she was far from cold, clutching at his shoulders and giving in to the urge that had her legs hitch up higher on his waist, revelling in the low groan he let out in response.

“Bloody hell.”

The pleasure of their coupling rolled down Killian’s spine and pooled low at the base, making his hips jerk hard against Emma even as he tried to be as careful as he could, taking most of his weight on his arms when all he wanted was to pin her to the bed and take his pleasure hard and fast until he was fully spent. But they had all night and he had to make it last as long as he could, both because he didn’t know if he’d ever have this again and to make sure Emma did not go to the Tower carrying his bastard child. He railed against her going there at all, anger lacing his love for this stubborn woman and tempting him to spirit her away anyway by force. Killian swore to himself that if it came to that, the scaffold or sanctuary abroad, he’d find a way to smuggle her out of England on his ship come hell or high water and raise the crimson flag once more.

He was too close to completion, balls and belly both tight and poised on the very knife’s edge of satisfaction, buried as he was in her silky quim. He had to stop before it was too late and it was a whore’s trick to prevent conception that he employed, pulling out and finishing with his hand instead in a few quick pumps. The sticky mess soiled the formerly bedclothes, along with the small bloodstain smeared on the sheets that marked the moment of consummation. Royal blood spilled by his own sword, and Killian felt a surge of masculine pride that had his cock faintly stirring again against his groin before it softened again and curled limp. There was a basin and ewer on the stand and he’d clean them both up after regaining his breath, but for now he lay on his back with a princess in his arms and thanked every lucky star he could name, for fate had smiled upon Killian Jones and his own lips curled with satisfaction while a small hand settled over his heart.

A sailor always rose before the dawn, but the sun was streaming in through the window and he could feel it even behind his closed lids while he groped across the bed and quickly realized the pillow next to his was empty. Killian sat up, coverlet falling to his waist and blinking his eyes open to start at the sight of Mistress Ruby Lucas seated on the edge of the bed, gazing at him as placidly as a wolf would a rabbit. Still a striking woman, he sensed she’d have no scruples against striking him if she felt the need arise.

“I loved Emma’s mother, Captain Jones, and I love her as if she were my own.”

He was uncomfortably aware of his nudity under the bedclothes but he kept his face carefully blank, even when she threw a pointed glance towards where the coverlet dipped a hair too low.

“You must be gone before the queen’s men arrive. Dress now, and leave through the window, your horse is saddled and waiting. I’ll see that the bedding is taken out and burned afterwards. You were never here, and nothing happened last night. The Lady Emma spent the evening secluded in the chapel at prayer, if asked, I will testify to it under oath. Do you understand?”

Killian scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling the weight of something settle on his shoulders. He understood perfectly and he nodded, knowing that like a fearsome she-wolf would protect her pup, Mistress Lucas would protect Emma from any hint of impropriety being discovered. A bundle of clothing was thrust unceremoniously at him along with a flask and a bit of bread and cheese tied up in a square of muslin for the journey back to the coast.

“Mistress Lucas?”

She paused in the doorway with one hand resting lightly on the wood and glanced back over her shoulder, “Captain?”

He spoke four words and then he stood, caring not for protecting his modesty as he shook the wrinkles from his shirt and began to dress. She understood his true meaning, he could tell by the knowing smile that flitted across her face before it was schooled back into a stern look.

“Long live the queen.”  

#cs ff #cs fic #cs au #my fic #gloriana

[sage-nebula]

The most frustrating thing about the main stories of Gen VI (Kalos) and Gen VII (Alola) is that Game Freak quite clearly hasn’t lost their touch entirely. They still can make great characters and write fantastic stories if they want to. They just seem to be refusing for the primary stories of each generation.

Take Gen VI for example. Anyone who knows me knows that I think the characters and narrative of Gen VI were garbage for a lot of reasons. I won’t get into all of the specifics now, but the tl;dr is that I felt that while there were very, very serious concepts introduced in the narrative of Gen VI, there was no emotional gravitas put behind them. They weren’t taken seriously. Combine this with the fact that the characters were shallow and two-dimensional at best (with so many of them being superfluous---you could have easily yanked Trevor and Tierno out of the game and nothing of value would be lost), and you have something that is not only a massive waste of time, but a massive waste of time that stops you every five seconds to force you to pay attention to it. It’s terrible. It’s beyond terrible. It’s an excruciating disappointment after the majesty that was Gen V, and yet . . . and yet the Kalos games still have some glimmer to them, a diamond in the rough, in the form of the post-game. The post-game was fantastic. The post-game carried emotional gravitas; while the fact that a grown man had stripped a teenage girl of her agency and made her do whatever he wanted her to do while she retained no memory of it was horrifyingly glossed over, that girl---Emma---had more depth and characterization than all of the other characters in Kalos combined. Her struggles held emotional significance. She was someone you could at least sympathize with, if not empathize with, and root for. You wanted her to succeed. And since you actually got to see her relationship with Looker develop, you felt your heartstrings yanked on when they separated at the end. To this day there are people who still want Looker to go back to Kalos for Emma, and that fact is a testament to how effective Kalos’ post-game story was in comparison to the flimsy mess that was its primary story.

Gen VII’s Alola games were a similar mess. To be fair, they had promise; the promotional materials (along with so many other things) promised to deliver on the alchemy plot that has been building for several generations now. The characters, too, were interesting for the most part; while some of them were once again underdeveloped and didn’t capitalize on the potential they could have had (Kukui), or else just underutilized despite the importance they should have had in the plot (Burnet), others had massive potential, both in their depth at the outset, as well as the potential for development as the story progressed (Aether family). Yet, was any of this capitalized on? No. The abused children in the narrative were disrespected in the end and made to go back to their abusive parent. The first female villain in the series wasn’t allowed to be treated as a villain. And all of this was even worse in the “Ultra” games, which make the original games look good by comparison (and particularly considering the fact that the gameplay was worse in Gen VII than it was in Gen VI, that’s a feat).

But still, I find it hard to say that Game Freak has lost their touch when you dial back a bit and look at Gen VI’s Hoenn remakes. While it’s true that the main story of the Hoenn remakes was just slightly updated from the original games, the Delta Episode was brand new and absolutely fantastic. It incorporated characters you had met throughout the main story, and starred one that was there, her plans were foreshadowed, you just might not have paid her too much mind on a first playthrough. And that character, Zinnia? She’s a well-rounded character with depth and, once again, a compelling arc that makes you care about her. Yes, she has her haters, and there are a slew of distasteful reasons for why that is, but the simple fact of the matter is that Zinnia is a compelling individual. However the narrative might have ultimately disrespected her in the name of making the player feel important, the truth is that Zinnia is one of the most compelling, and one of the deepest characters Game Freak has made to date. They did that. In 2014, they did that. True, that was four years ago, but it was only one generation ago. If they did it then, they can do it again.

And that’s what’s frustrating. In Gen V, they gave us a phenomenal story. In Gen VI, they gave us phenomenal post-games (since, again, the main story of ORAS was brought over from Gen III). Gen VII gave us literally nothing of value. But my point is that they can do this. They can do a good job with their characters and their narrative. Why they seem so averse to doing this in the main plot of the game, the one players spend the most time with, is beyond me, but I really, really wish they’d change their minds and get their acts together soon.

Here’s hoping they do so by the time Gen VIII rolls around. 

#we shouldn't have to wait until the postgame to get good characters and a good story #especially since the postgame is so much shorter than the main story #come on Game Freak get it together #ofc the post-game in Gen VII wasn't good either #the Looker and Anabel stuff was barely passable #and as much as I love Team Rocket the Rainbow Rocket stuff was stupid #so Gen VII just gave us literally nothing of value tbh #hopefully Gen VIII will be better #pokemon #meta #ig

[abhisheksingh098]

SHONEN JUMP RAP CYPHER | RUSTAGE

SHONEN JUMP RAP CYPHER | RUSTAGE

SHONEN JUMP RAP CYPHER | RUSTAGE - Rustage Lyrics

**Lyrics** (Luffy: Rustage) Starting with the number one, hey How'd a pirate get this long, hey Cause I ate the Gum Gum See them run run When I hit that gun, hey Sailing I'm talking no breaks When my crew's on the move As we pillage the grand line Looting the treasure we can find I'm blowing up like a landmine Going gear second I reckon that I'm a weapon I'm wrecking up those who threaten In messing with my own brethren Stay repping look where I'm heading No question the Yonkos sweating I'm betting the words I'm yelling I'm king and there's no forgetting <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Gon: Fabvl) I'll jump the competition, really there's no contest Channelled future yen and most of y'all ain't even bomb yet It's nonsense Pro exams completed as a child Hisoka, I think these clowns are living in denial So don't make me power up, I'll call the thunder in my right hand If you want the strongest shonen, then you called the right man They might Stan Treat you all like Pitou, it won't take long Name is Gon and this time Imma make sure that you stay gone (Naruto: None Like Joshua) Oh, better believe it's Naruto Who's the best hero all of you know My legacy is happening I got a type of running named after me While you're slow Can't keep up with my chakra flow Except Hinata, I'm her ho- Kage, all I did is call her and tell her to come over cause My parents are not home Out of these ninjas you can watch my dub Even all my filler is so far above When it comes to Boruto why ya'll given up Like I did with simpin' on Sakura Killer B's rapping but I get the encore With the power that I bring I don't really want yours Cause I came from the swing, everybody shunned more Now you're looking at the king of this Jump Force <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Yugi: Connor Quest!) I'm a master, you be Practice newbies That's a doozy For Yami Yugi Puzzle did something like a hadron tunnel Cause now I got atem through me Champ of the match see fans fawn No matter what hand's drawn I'm kicking up dust Metal tanks in land form When we D-D-D-D-Duel there's sandstorms Cards are flipping I need an answer quick and I might find my dark magician If I wish hard and believe enough in the heart that's in 'em I see setos fear Pull the fifth part of Exodia Guess it all came to a head so clear That your deck's gonna get X'd, oh dear (Asta: Eddie Rath) Welcome to the magic It's a tale that's tragic Filled with pain that's Harder than plastic Especially when you discover When I started I was Less than amazing But now that I've been chosen By the grimoir I'm rising to The occasion in a blazing flame of magic Ain't no hocus pocus and abracadabra That you don't have it a wizard you joke with This ain't Gandalf The Gray But you shall not pass Hopeless, better be ferocious Was the poorest orphan living in darkness But now I'm focused I be thanking all my hardships <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Ichigo: IBDL) Uh, hit em back with that Bankai Got that power like it came out of the Dangai Father passed the torch now I'm the fam's don guy Think you Aizen, but you looking like that don guy Y'all like Soifon, your raps barely sing My bars are Getsuga Tensho, got that masterful swing They say it ain't over till the fat lady sings But you'll know that it's really over when that black lady sings (Koro-Sensei: CDawgVA) Mach speed, blow up the moon And now making these children write essays Coming with tentacles teach you a lesson In why you don't mess with the sensei I amaze, used to be the reaper now I run this class I can turn a loser to assassin do it real fast (Light: Zach Boucher) I think I've been out of my head Gift was given made some poor decisions That I wish I didn't, but I do it again Feeling different I was on a mission To achieve my vision with a page and a pen Sit and listen to the words I've written It ain't even finished till I see that they're dead Don't even try to pretend there's no malicious intent Stay in my thoughts, keep to the morals I've got And kill anyone who is not Just never get caught until every criminal rots They'll consider me as a god At whatever cost, that's how I excel Cannot be stopped even if I fell I'm taking em off, if you couldn't tell I gave up a lot to give you this L <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Hinata: Shwabadi) Yeah, here comes Hinata When I'm on the court the enemy has got their guard up Never gonna fall off, bet I'm gonna pop off Way short, but I'm packing punches like a sawed off Hot like a sauna, this ball of fire Don't know nada, but I'm gonna chase desire To go farther every jump will take me higher They put walls up, so I had to learn to fly Putting up points, spiking it or clearing the way Best decoy, got a little something to say To anyone that doubts that I'm here to stay Only got one goal it's to play the game Underestimated I'm the ace, you just wait When I spike it past the net You might take it to the face (Deku: Divide Music) Coming in with 100% of me I got you trembling Just with a flick of my finger Put you back where you're supposed to be I'm not holding back I got you so calculated I'm one step ahead One For All gon be demonstrated Get it? Got it? Good! Nothing better, and you should know Started from the bottom and I made it to the top, so Step aside I'm rising to great heights With All Might at my side Repping UA With pride, oh <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Yusuke GameboyJones) Giving you the finger spirit gun Send you off with Botan, then you done Hit you with the stick and I didn't need a grip When I'm pulling from the hip then click Because I'm lock loaded, the clip is ready to go Got a shotgun in my hand that's bout to blow Cause I'm hitting you quick, fast Giving you whiplash wearing these spirit cuffs You can be human or demon Cause honestly I just don't give a fuck If you're looking for the best, just know there's no other Cause I'm flexing out here like I'm the youngest Toguro brother (Gintoki: Shao Dow) They call me Gintoki, slim not stocky Lemme Shonen Jump on your leg and your body Odd Job Gin, don't mess with my possee If you touch my hair then you will be sorry Cause you're way too sloppy Got a silver soul, Shiroyasha Swing my sword and Amanto scatter Gintama, not Kintama Tell Shinpachi we need money If Kagura or Katsura bring more trouble we keep running Pay rent? That's a waste of time That weather girl, I will make her mine You can beat me up and that's fair and fine But if you hurt my friends then prepare to die <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Tanjiro: DizzyEight) Slaying demons is what we do If you filled with evil then my blade is highly lethal If you coming at my people, pray to god I never meet you Ever mess with Nez, you KO'd when I see you I've grown stronger from that fateful day they found me I trained to hone the skill, the progression so outstanding My style like breathing water, that mean you could never drown me Whirlpool, that mean I'm slicing everything around me (Emma: FrivolousShara) EMMA, 63194 Listen what I've got to say The others walked now seems we gotta run away Don't you talk adults are the enemy You can break every bone in my body I won't falter And if the plan fails, the idea simply alters These demons scheming but they ain't the only monsters Our combined IQ breaks the safe, strength in numbers Now we've woken from the slumber Never ending perfect summers Across the farm you can't help but wonder <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Soma: DiggzDaProphecy) See I'm the anime Raekwon The chef, baby stay calm You can't stand the heat, get out the kitchen get a day job Word, and the finale's superb I take a sec, put on my band and I'll be happy to serve So ma, tell me what you like and I can hook it up Ya boy got them recipes the best couldn't cook up And she gon bust from the taste of my meat Chef boy are these boys always cooking up heat (Jotaro: Dreaded Yasuke) It's my go, they call me Jotaro Don't get me mad Imma go fast only with jabs You go through silos Got that drip in Cairo, girls will simp my silhouette I know think it's a typo fighting with a platinum psycho None of Y'all is a threat What you gotta say in your breath Better speak with a bigger chest Now you lying down with my pet, while Iggy piss on ya neck All types of disrespect, what you expect Go against a vet, better get your techs Wanna get swept through the complex Now who is next? <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Bobobo: BassedOlaf w/ ThighHighSenpai) Bobobo making the foes stare Call me the master of nose hair Look at the hair on the heads of these anime characters Brother it's no fair But I'm better than these guys, don't you understand? I came second place at screaming face to face with desk fans Afro is full of surprises, look at my powers immense Leaving beauty screaming Bobobo that makes no sense Hunting hair hunters, Saitama I'm coming for you Don patch a better Super Saiyan god than Goku <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Goku: DaddyPhatSnaps) Oh, they went and called Kakorot, had to be danger Leave em flat footed like they in the gravity chamber I'm just looking for a challenge can you battle me stranger? Shonen Legend in the Saddle and the power is major Level up on the track, flow ultra instinct Bye bye bye fusion dance is always in sync *wink* And they wonder why I'm last on the song Cause when all of you were taking I just formed a spirit bomb

https://img.youtube.com/vi/tbqAb2SwHz4/maxresdefault.jpg from Blogger https://bit.ly/2SPqKpd

#Song lyrics

[emmaspirate]

The Birds

A/N: So after a much needed break from writing I’m back. @lenfaz​ beta’d this chapter for me a super duper long time ago and I’m finally posting. Yay! Thank you for everyone who has stuck around. Hope you enjoy. 

Summary: Meet Emma Swan: mother, detective, and angel. She’s just trying to get through her eternal afterlife in one piece. Naturally the universe has other plans for her. When a murder occurs in the divine community, she must enlist the help of angels and demons alike to help crack the case. Enter Killian Jones, a mysterious demon who has every intention of making Emma’s life a living hell. Angel/Demon AU. This has been done before and I’m sure other attempts are better than mine, but I thought I’d give it a shot. There is a depiction of a crime scene at the bottom so read at your own risk!

AO3

Chapter I/Chapter II/Chapter III/Chapter IV/Chapter V/Chapter VI/Chapter VII

Chapter VIII: Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright

“And I will show that nothing can happen more beautiful than death.” - Walt Whitman

Emma didn’t dream that night, which was both a relief, and the first time that had happened since Lily’s murder. She was also pleasantly surprised to find that she was not covered in dirt or blood, nor had she written any off-putting messages on the wall. It was all quite tame really, she simply awoke from the best sleep she’d had in a while in Hook’s arms.

  In Hook’s arms.

 She hadn’t realized what she was doing when her eyes had first snapped open. It had been an unfamiliar feeling, one she hadn’t experienced since Henry’s father. She’d had sex with plenty of men, of course, but she never stuck around long enough to reap any benefits of that morning-after cuddle.

  Apparently her body hadn’t forgotten how to curl up right next to a man’s.

  It was almost embarrassing how tightly she was wrapped around him; arm across his stomach, head on his chest. He wasn’t free of guilt either. Hook had remained propped against the headboard, but he’d slumped ever so slightly, and his cheek was resting atop her head. He had an arm holding her tightly against him.

  It was all so noxiously cliche that she wanted to gag. He was clearly doing a really great job watching out to make sure she didn’t murder anyone. It was best if he never knew this had happened, if she was far, far away from him when he woke up.

  Early morning light was filtering in from the sides of the heavy curtain, and she figured she’d just go downstairs and occupy herself somehow. As she disentangled herself ever so slowly from his arms, she kept trying to distract herself with new ideas as to what she could do. Maybe she’d read a book. Maybe she’d look over some of his art. Maybe she’d see if she could finally perfect her headstand. Maybe she’d find a cure for cancer. She kept trying to distract herself so that she wouldn’t think about the fact that she kind of liked being in his arms. That, at the very least, it was the one spot she felt safe, if only for a second.

  Emma did finally manage to free herself, and it was her full intention to just make a swift exit and get out of the room as quickly as possible. Of course, because she was a masochist, she just had to look back.

  He looked so small, so unthreatening, lying there in the bed. She had to imagine that having to act big, and scary, and intimidating all day was exhausting. The fact that he was dead to the world, no pun intended, allowed her to study him without interruption. Hook seemed younger when he was asleep, less angry.  He had a scar under his eye and she wanted to know how he’d gotten it. She’d always had a knack for knowing when people were lying, but he was trickier. He had more secrets than she knew what to do with, and she found that familiar curiosity creeping up. You know what they say about curiosity…

  And then, as she was staring at him for an inappropriately long amount of time, his hand twitched in his sleep. It was subtle, quick, if she didn’t have her ethereal reflexes she would’ve missed it entirely. The little reach that he did in her direction as his eyebrows furrowed in distress and he made a little murmuring sound. When she felt her heart clench up ever so slightly, she knew she was screwed. She knew that she was beginning to care about him. She didn’t want him to be in pain. She didn’t want him to be such a tortured soul. She didn’t want him to feel like he was some horrible creature undeserving of good things. It was the bare minimum of caring, not wanting someone to be hurt basically meant that she was just a good being, but it still meant that she cared.

  And Emma had promised herself a long time ago that she wasn’t going to care for anymore people.

  So she took one last glance at him, let herself care for one more moment, and then she felt her walls shoot up again.

  This time she wouldn’t let her guard down.

   Emma avoided him at all costs.

  She did her best to make it seem like a coincidence that any time he entered a room, she exited it very quickly. The angel knew she was doing a horrible job at appearing nonchalant, but it was much better than allowing herself to be vulnerable.

  If he’d thought her behavior was odd, he didn’t say anything about it. In fact, very few words were exchanged between the two of them the entire morning. Maybe he was feeling unsure about the present situation, but, either way, she wasn’t asking.

  That was the problem with the two of them, wasn’t it? She knew him well enough now to know that he was almost as frustratingly stubborn as she was. That meant that it was entirely possible both of them would blatantly ignore the moment they’d had last night at any and all costs.

It shouldn’t bother her that he was seemingly content with letting it all go. She shouldn’t care that he had no qualms about keeping their relationship strictly business, the way she kept telling herself it had been before.

  After all, all they’d done was hold hands, and it hadn’t even been in a romantic way. He’d told her about his dead brother, and she’d told him that she may or may not be killing people during psychotic episodes. No big deal. So why was she acting like this?

  It probably had something to do with said psychotic episodes. They were probably messing with her hormone levels. She couldn’t care about him, that was utterly ridiculous. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself as she stared very hard out the window of the Range Rover and refused to look at him.

  “We’ll be there soon,” Smee informed her.

  Emma nodded but didn’t take her eyes off the scenery she was pretending to gaze at. She wasn’t really looking forward to meeting Arthur, nor was she particularly excited about the prospect of walking into his office of demons. Apparently, the building functioned as a government department, but it was really just a cover so that Arthur could conduct his business, or something. She wasn’t really sure, she’d kind of zoned out when Regina had been blabbing about it on the plane.

  “Be on your guard, Swan,” Hook muttered as he too pretended to stare out a window.

  He’d very childishly chosen to sit in the front seat, and at first she’d told herself that maybe he just liked the front. Then he’d refused to even look at her and she’d realized he was punishing her for avoiding him. So now they were engaged in some sort of reverse staring contest and it was all utterly ridiculous but she wasn’t going to crack first, not when distance was what was best for them. Instead she sat in the backseat and looked out the window. It felt like she was reenacting Driving Miss Daisy, except for the fact that she was an angel and he was a demon and she had no idea who Smee would be in the situation. So it was like some extremely fucked up version of Driving Miss Daisy.  

  She was, however, momentarily grateful that they were seated in different parts of the car as they pulled up to where Arthur ruled. It meant Hook couldn’t see the horror etched on her face.

  It was an old building, probably older than Hook himself. He’d said he’d died in the peasant’s revolt, which had taken place in 1381, thank you Google, so, yeah, the building was old. Old and large and very intimidating. Architecturally, it looked vaguely like the Palace of Westminster, minus Big Ben. The building was, quite frankly, exactly where she’d imagine the Supreme Overlord, or whatever he was calling himself, would conduct business. Set against the grey sky that looked about ready to burst with rain, the whole thing was a site to behold.

  They pulled into a small courtyard in front of the building and Emma could see Regina and Will standing a little ways away. Regina looked appropriately pissed and Will was clutching an umbrella looking equal parts skittish and enthusiastic.

  “It’s about damn time,” Regina called as Emma opened the door.

  The angel stepped out of the car, boots crunching on the white gravel beneath her feet. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Your Majesty,” Emma replied in the most sarcastic tone she could muster. There was something incredibly off-putting about the atmosphere of the building. It probably had something to do with the fact that there were hundreds of demons mulling about.

  Suddenly, Hook was at her side, one arm grasping her arm firmly as he guided her towards Regina and Will. She was startled at the sudden proximity between them, but she was too stunned to say anything, instead preferring to stare at his hand like it was alien to her. “Stay close, Swan,” he instructed, eyes forward.

“I doubt you’d give me any other option,” Emma murmured.

  Hook shot her a warning look but didn’t say anything, instead turning his attention to Regina. “You ready? I’d prefer to spend as little time here as possible.”

  Regina pursued her blood red lips. “For once you and I are in agreement. Let’s get this show on the road.”

  “Right,” Hook affirmed as he dropped Emma’s arm and turned to face her. “Stay here.”

  The angel started. “What?”

  “Stay here until one of us comes back to get you. We’re going to go in and request an audience with Arthur,” Hook explained and then actually turned to leave her.

  Emma stepped after him and grabbed his arm, spinning him around so he was facing her again. “If you think I’m just going to stand here twiddling my thumbs you’re insane.”

  Now he looked pissed. “I don’t think you’re going to stand here, I know you’re going to stand here. We don’t need you going in and flying off the handle.”

  “Did you not just tell me to stay close.”

  Hook gave her a condescending smile. “Yes, from the car to Regina you were meant to stay close, and now you’re meant to stay here.”

  Emma felt her mouth literally drop open ever so slightly. “I’m not staying out here.” She attempted to move past him towards the entrance of the building but he made a move to block her.

  “Go inside I’ll meet you in there,” he called over his shoulder at the two other demons without looking away from Emma.

  She met his stare and decided to give him just a moment to explain himself if only because he kept her from murdering anyone last night. “I can’t not be a part of this,” she whispered when Regina and Will were out of earshot.

  Hook sighed. “You’re going to be a part of this; you’re going to speak to Arthur. I just want to go in first and assess the situation.”

  Emma studied his face, eyes drawn to that scar on his face again and she was suddenly reminded of this morning. “Why?”

  For just a second, he dropped the facade he always seemed to present when they were in public. He let her really see him, see that he was nervous about the situation. “I want to know exactly what I’m bringing you into. The last thing we need is you making a scene, and if things do go awry I want to be sure we can handle it.” He paused and took a deep breath, and it was almost comical how simultaneously frustrated and genuine he looked. “I’m trying my damnedest to keep you safe, Swan.”

  She just looked at him, letting his words sink in. She realized with a dull ache in her chest and a lump in her throat that she wasn't the only one who was beginning to reluctantly care about someone that they shouldn’t. “I don’t need you to keep me safe,” she murmured.

  Hook let out a dry laugh and shook his head. “If it’s all the same, Love, I’d appreciate it if you’d at least let me try.” He leaned forward then, and she could tell the mask was back in place. Giving her as flirtatious of a smile as he could seemingly muster, he said, “It’d be good for my ego.”

  She shoved him back softly and rolled her eyes. “Your ego doesn’t need anymore help.”

  Hook gave her a real smile, and she decide she quite liked those. “You’ll stay put then?”

  Emma shrugged. “Until I decide not to.”

  He smiled at her and nodded, turning on his heel and stalking into the building.

  Emma’s eyes stayed on him until she couldn’t see him anymore.

   It had taken her about two minutes to realize that Hook’s grand plan of leaving her on her own wasn’t a great one.

  She was outside, so that gave her an added advantage. It’d be very easy for her to just teleport herself out of there should things start to go awry. It was also light out, albeit overcast, and the fact that she was directly exposed to it meant her powers were stronger.

  The thing was, she’d never leave without them, and she’d venture to guess he knew that.

  The other, slightly more pressing issue, was that there were a bunch of demons milling about the courtyard. She hadn’t realized it when they’d first arrived, too distracted by her demonic companions, but it was slightly off-putting. She would just wait in the car, but naturally Smee had driven off to god only knows where. He was probably sucking out a soul or something, she wasn’t really sure what demons did in their spare time. So now she was just hanging out all by her lonesome; the only angel in a very large population of demons.

  Who were all staring at her.

  That is, those who could see her and sense her presence were staring at her. Most of them just looked confused, some of them looked pissed, but no one dared approach her as she shifted back and forth on the balls of her feet waiting for her demons to return.

  She didn’t feel him approach her, senses too overwhelmed by everything going on around her. One minute she was standing alone, and the next there was someone beside her.

  “Not everyday an angel graces us with its presence.”

  Emma’s head whipped around and she faltered ever so slightly. Even as she registered that there was indeed a man standing next to her, she still regarded him with confusion. It was like he’d materialized out of thin air. “Who in the name of god are you?”

  The man moved a hand to his chest and made like he’d just been pained. “Bold choice, using that word around all these demons.”

  Emma rolled her eyes, not in the mood. “Yeah, well, some would just call it stupidity.”

  The demon chuckled lowly. “And what, pray tell, is a stupid, beautiful creature such as yourself doing in a place like this?”

  Emma stepped back a ways, partly because he was creeping her out, but mostly so that she could get a better look at him. The man was a bit older, he’d probably been in his mid-fifties when he’d died. He was a short, skinny man and Emma sensed that if she tried to shove him over, he’d go down easily. He had thin lips and beady black eyes, and his chestnut hair skimmed his shoulders. There was something else too, something deceptively dark in the way he held himself. He was giving off a strong demonic aura, but it was more than that. She felt like she was standing next to a black hole, and she found the pull both intimidating and intoxicating. Then suddenly, not by her own accord, she blurted, “I’m waiting to meet with Arthur,” and she literally had no idea why she’d just told him that.

  The demon nodded as though it were the answer he’d been expecting. “And what do you need from the Supreme Overlord.” He asked, and just a hint of amusement leaked into his voice when he used Arthur’s title.

  She found it took every ounce of resolve she had not to give him the answer to his question. For whatever reason, Emma found that she really, really wanted to offer it up, and she had no idea why. He didn’t appear to be using any sort of dark magic on her, unless he was just so good she couldn’t even tell. “Why would I tell you that?” Emma asked, and the suspicion in her voice was as plain as day.

  He smiled at her as though their conversation was bringing him immense joy. “Fair point.” The demon turned thoughtful for a moment, eyes scanning the courtyard and building in front of them. He twirled a black cane Emma hadn’t realized he was holding around in his hand. “I can get you council with him, if that’s what you’d like.”

  Emma crossed her arms over her chest, warning bells going off in her head. She really should wait for the group, she knew that, but it would make things significantly easier if she could just cut through the bureaucracy and get right to the point. She didn’t trust the man next to her in any sense of the word, but she could handle herself, of that she was sure. “Why would you do that?”

  “Oh, I don’t do anything out of the kindness of my heart, you’ll have to give me something.”

  Emma turned away then. “Uninterested. Keep it moving, Buddy.”

  The demon chuckled. “I assure you, it’s nothing large. I just have one question.” The man paused then, and his expression suddenly turned curious. “What’s your name, Dearie?”

  Emma started, unprepared for the seemingly out of the blue question. It felt innocent enough; there wasn’t much he could do with just her name. At least, she wasn’t aware of some weird demon hex thing, but with her luck one probably existed. Nevertheless she said, “Swan. My name is Emma Swan.”

  He smiled, eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment. “Emma. What a lovely name.” Probably sensing her discomfort, he quickly tacked on, “My name is Robert Gold.”

  Emma gave him a tight smile in return. “Nice to meet you.”

  Gold, that was what she decided to refer to him as because Robert felt too casual, picked a non-existent piece of lint off his jacket. “Believe me, the pleasure is all mine.” Gold flexed his hand atop his cane. “And I am a man of my word.” He raised the cane and gestured towards a group of men making their way across the grass. In the middle of the pack was a very distinguished looking gentleman in a suit and everyone else made sure to give him a wide berth of space. “That’s Arthur. Approach him, tell him who you are, and he’ll meet with you.”

  Emma raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Seriously?”

  Gold looked at her like he wanted to slap her upside the head. “Seriously. You better get going, he’s a very busy man.”

  Emma stared at the demon in front of her, the whole exchange having been very bizarre. She had no idea why he’d chosen to help her, it certainly couldn’t have been out of the kindness of his heart, but she decided to let it go. Maybe demons weren’t the bad guys, at least, maybe not all of them were. “Thank you for helping me.” Emma nodded and turned to walk away, not expecting him to say anything in return.

  Of course, all of Emma’s expectations had been subverted ever since this case had begun. “It was my pleasure, Ms. Swan.”  Then, when Emma looked back to face him, he gave her a smile that made her blood run cold. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other in the future.”

  She was going to say something in reply, but suddenly there was an itch in her back as her wings started to unfurl. Emma had to put all her energy into keeping them in place, wanting nothing less then to cause a scene. She wasn’t entirely sure what in his words had elicited that response; the conversation had been off-putting, but she hadn’t really felt unsafe. Not up until that moment.

  By the time she calmed herself down, Gold had disappeared into the shadows.

  Emma took a moment to stare at the spot he’d just been standing in, before she reminded herself that she didn’t have much time. Shaking the experience off and swallowing the bile rising in the back of her throat, she quickly turned on her heel and moved towards Arthur. He was moving very quickly, his gaze looking down at some papers he was clutching. He had on a navy blue suit that, if she was being honest with herself, looked quite good on him. He was flanked on all sides by an armed guard consisting of several beefy looking men that could probably kill her without batting an eye. He certainly had a regal air about him, perhaps more so than Regina, and she was almost certain that there was some sort of protocol that one was to follow when approaching him.

  Naturally she just flounced up to him and stood in his path.

  He didn’t notice her there, or he figured she’d move, so he just barreled right into her. His arms quickly shot out to steady himself, and he grabbed onto her forearm just a little too tightly. His guards were already in motion, raising their weapons so that they were all aimed at her. When Arthur finally looked up, Emma was unprepared for the range of responses her presence was eliciting.

There was the obvious surprise, and slight indignation, at the idea that she had nearly knocked him over without a care in the world. His expression quickly shifted into one of curiosity as he took in her defiant form, an angel in Satan’s court. There was something else there too, something that confused her to know end. He looked at her with some sort of recognition, as though he knew who she was. If he was tied to the whole Zelena business, there was a chance that he did, but it was more than that. He looked at her in an almost fond manner, as though he was happy to see her.

  Then, suddenly, his expression shifted into one of cool indifference. He was hiding his emotions. “Can I help you, Bird?” His tone was ridiculously polite, and she suspected that was simply a habit.

  Emma gave him a quick once-over to let him know that she wasn’t intimidated. “We need to talk.”

  Arthur gave her a forced laugh, and the rest of the men around him joined in boisterously. “Forgive me for being impolite, but I’m a very busy man, and I don’t even know who you are. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Arthur made a move to get around her.

  Emma mirrored his actions, blocking his way. She gave him a tight smile. “My name is Emma Swan, I’m with the Boston Police Department. Several murders have taken place in and around the area and some of the victims include members of the divine community.” She paused and gave herself a mental pat on the back; her “police voice” had really gotten better. “We just want to see what you know.”

  “And why would you assume I knew anything, Ms. Swan?”

  She’d expected that. “Your friend Zelena Mills was seen poking around one of the victim's apartments." She decided to leave out the fact that she’d thrown Zelena through a wall.

  Emma didn’t miss the way Arthur's face soured at the mention of Zelena. “I’d hardly call us friends. You’re with Regina then?”

  Emma nodded. “Regina and Killian Jones.” She could imagine that Will would be mad that she hadn’t dropped his name, but she figured it was best to remove him from the situation as best as possible.

  Somehow Arthur’s scowl only deepened when she said Killian’s name. She probably shouldn’t be surprised that the two apparently had some beef. “I already told my receptionist to tell Regina that I wasn’t taking appointments today.”

  Emma shrugged. “I didn’t know you answered to your receptionist. We wouldn’t want to inconvenience her.” She gave him a large smile, guessing that a man like him wouldn’t want to have his power questioned.

  She always was a good guesser.

  Never taking his eyes off her, Arthur inclined his head slightly towards one of his guards. “Tell Gwen that I’ll see Regina after all.” He extended an arm towards Emma and she tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow.

  Together the angel and the demon walked into the building.

   “Would you like something to drink?”

  Emma turned to look over her shoulder at Arthur, who was perusing the bar set up in his office. She imagined that most of the spirits on the shelf were older than her. “Rum, please,” she replied, giving him a tight smile.

He pulled up the bottle and poured the amber liquid into a crystal glass. “Sit,” he told her as he passed her the drink.

  She took a small sip and then crossed her arms. The drink wasn’t for her. “I’ll stand until they get here.”

  Arthur smiled. “I won’t bite, I can assure you. Sit.” His tone was slightly more emphatic now.

  Emma stayed where she was. “I’m fine.”

  “That wasn’t a request, Ms. Swan.”

  Emma cocked her head, and gave him a sneer. “I’m not a demon, I don’t have to listen to you.”

  Arthur stared at her for a beat, the smile dropping from his face. He gave her a dark chuckle as he made his way over to his desk. “You’re right; you don’t. I could kill you though, so you’d be wise to do what I tell you to,” he told her as he sat down.

  She pondered her options for a moment before she decided that he didn’t seem like the type to make empty threats. Moving at a glacial pace, she made her way over to the two chairs that were facing his. The demon gestured his hand out to one of them, and Emma never broke eye contact as she sat down in the other one. “Happy?” She purred as she crossed her ankles.

  “You’re a stubborn one, aren’t you?”  

  Emma was about to reply with some smart, scathing comment when the door opened. She turned her head so fast she was certain it would’ve given her whiplash had she been human.

  She never thought she’d be so happy to see three demons in her entire life. They, on the other hand, looked incredibly confused by her presence. Clearly, no one had told them she’d be here.

  “Ms. Swan, I didn’t know you were already here,” Regina said, hesitation in her voice.

  Will charged forward and moved towards the open seat next to her, flopping down with a grunt. “Figures ya’d get the party started early.” He winked and shot her a grin, clearly excited for whatever was about to go down.

  Emma gave him a nod and a smile before turning her attention to Hook. He hadn’t said anything, which probably wasn’t a great sign, since he always had something to add. She was expecting him to be shooting her some sort of pissed off look, but she quickly realized he was staring daggers at Arthur. He hadn’t mentioned there being any issues between the two of them. “Hook,” Emma called.

  He didn’t look at her. “Good to see you again, Mate. Glad to know that kingdom is faring well, given the fact that it’s king has got a few screws loose.” Emma was used to Hook being a bit crass, but this was something else. There was something malicious in his voice.

  “Careful, Hook. This might just be the last time you see me.” Arthur spun his drink, bourbon, around in his glass.

  “If you could kill me, you’d have done that a long time ago,” Hook challenged, and Emma expected that to be it. She expected to watch him die right then and there. From what she knew, Arthur was the most powerful demon in the world, he clearly had the means to end anyone he wanted to.

  For whatever reason, he didn’t kill Hook that day.

  When the situation seemed to have diffused slightly, Emma tried to get his attention again. “Hook,” she called and this time he looked at her. She held the rum up and he stared at the glass, unsure of what she wanted. “It’s for you.”

  “Me?” He asked, and there was something cute in how unsure he sounded.

  “Yes.”

  Hook took the glass, a hint of suspicion in his eyes. “Thank you.”

  Emma nodded, smiled. He was so untrusting, and probably for good reason. She couldn’t really discourage that without seeming like a hypocrite, no one was more untrusting than her, but she wanted to ease his mind a little. She could sense there was some unsavory history between the two demons, and Hook spoke of Arthur with nothing short of hatred, but she really needed him to keep calm. Quite frankly, as long as he could keep his damn mouth shut she’d consider this entire endeavor a success. “So,” Emma began.

  Arthur interrupted her before she could even get into it. “Listen, I seriously doubt I’m going to be of much help to you all. You may be better assisted by interviewing someone else.”

  “Nevertheless,” Regina cut in with a grimace masquerading as a grin. “It’s important for us to cross our t’s and dot our i’s, so if you could listen to Emma and answer her questions, it would be easier for all of us.”

  Emma was surprised at the assist from Regina, and it seemed to work wonders in shutting Arthur up, so she continued. “As I was going to say, about a week ago an angel, a demon, and a human were all murdered in a Boston area home. Now these murders have been taking place on this day each year for the past several years, but we haven’t received confirmation that past victims have been ethereal in nature.”

  Arthur, who had been staring pointedly at his desk while she spoke, looked up. “I can imagine it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.”

  Emma bristled, his tone was too accusatory for her liking. “If you aren’t looking, yeah, it can be pretty hard to figure out, and considering the fact that the rest of Boston PD are human, I can imagine they aren’t checking each victim to figure out if they’re an angel or a demon.”

  Arthur held up his hands in consent. “Fair enough. Carry on.”

  “One of the victims, the demon, was a woman named Lily Page. Hook and I,” Emma gestured at the man at her side, who looked like he was trying very hard to set Arthur on fire with his gaze. “Went to her apartment and ran into Zelena. There was a bit of a confrontation, the details don’t matter much, but we know you two work closely together.”

  Arthur stood up then, clearly deciding that he was done listening to her. “Zelena and I don’t work together. She works under me.”

  “In more ways then one, isn’t that right, Mate,” Hook added.  

  Emma decided, as Arthur stared at him with hatred in his eyes, that Hook had a death wish. At this point she wouldn’t even blame Arthur for killing him, she had no idea why he hadn’t made a move to do so yet. Instead, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Nevertheless, I don’t know anything about the murder or Lily what’s-her-name. I haven’t seen or heard from Zelena in several months.”

  “Wait,” Regina interrupted, her voice coming out in a very shrill manner. “You are sleeping with my sister? I thought that was just an idiotic quip.”

  Hook gave her a goading smile. “Oh no, Darling, I never make false accusations. It goes against my code.”

  “I doubt that,” Arthur sneered.

  Emma was about to cut in, get them all back on track the way she seemingly always was forced to, but she was interrupted by the voices in her head. It was one very specific voice; her brother’s. He was just saying her name over and over again in a somewhat skeptical tone, clearly trying to get her attention.

  He was praying.

  Prayers didn’t normally work over such long distances, unless of course you were praying to one specific angel. It happened very rarely now that humans were less aware of their presence, and didn’t really credit things like childbirth or rainfall to them anymore. However, she’d told David that if he needed her he could pray to her and she’d get in contact with him, because there was no way she’d pay for an international plan.

  No matter what was going on in her life, her family always came first, and so she said, “Can you all excuse me for just a moment.”

  Arthur was the only one in the room who didn’t turn to stare at her in disbelief. “No worries, in fact, I think you all should go.”

  “Hang on a minute, I just need to make a quick phone call and we can continue this discussion,” Emma protested.

  Arthur stood and straightened his suit, tugging it down at the bottom. “No, we can’t. Not unless you arrest me, and I don’t think you have the evidence, nor the power to do so. We’re done here.” With his words, a rush of dark magic flooded the room, suffocating Emma and trapping her where she stood. There was a reason he was Supreme Overlord, or whatever it was, and they all knew it.

  He knew it too.

  That much was apparent as he glided past all of them with a confidence that only came with knowing that you were untouchable. Then, when he reached the door, he seemed to reconsider. He turned back towards them and Emma was surprised when his gaze went directly to her.

  Time felt like it froze as he slinked back towards her, eyes alight with devilish glee. She didn’t even register that his hand was moving towards hers, until his fingers had wrapped themselves around her in a ironclad grip. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hook start towards her, but Regina held up a warning hand. Slowly, so slowly she could count every one of her heartbeats as time moved along, Arthur placed a delicate kiss to the back of her hand.

  “Perhaps, Ms. Swan, if you want to know who the true monster is, you should look in the mirror,” he purred. Then he glanced up and gave her a look that meant only one thing.

  He knew.

  And with one simple look, she was running out the door. She had no idea where she was going, she just knew that she needed to leave. She needed to get as far away as possible. Her chest was far too tight, her lungs ready to burst as she dragged in breath after breath. She vaguely registered that she was moving too far too quickly to simply be running, and that she was probably using light magic to transport herself down the endless hallways. Given that she was surrounded by demons and darkness, that probably wasn’t the best idea, but she also felt she didn’t have a choice. Her head was too foggy to be making any rational choices.

  She suddenly became aware of a very dark presence coming up behind her. It was moving quickly, and sticking a little too close for it to not be following her. Spinning on her heel, she let her wings fly out and shifted into an ethereal state, prepared to greet whoever it was with a hell of a lot of rage.

  She should’ve known it was him.

  Her shadow.

  Hook grabbed her arms and shoved her back into a little alcove. “You need to calm down,” he commanded, his tone urgent.

  He definitely wasn’t lacking in the bravery department, laying a hand on her when, in her current state, she could probably do some serious damage. “Calm down? He knows, Hook, he knows,” she replied, and her voice did not sound nearly as hysterical as she felt. She vaguely registered thunder shaking the building.

  “Do you hear yourself? Arthur doesn’t know.”

  The lights surged. “You heard him! You saw him! He knows, there’s no way he doesn’t.”

  Hook was still holding her arms. “Arthur is a sadistic prick who’s really good at reading people, but he doesn’t know shit. Trust me, I’ve known him long enough to tell when he’s bluffing. You’re a powerful angel, he was just trying to get under your skin.”

  Emma pondered his words and decided that, while she wasn’t satisfied, they made sense. They eased her mind ever so slightly, which, for whatever reason, pissed her off in a new way. She didn’t want it to be his words that calmed the raging storm, but nevertheless, the lights dimmed and the thunder wasn’t quite as loud. “I’m fine,” Emma whispered, sagging ever so slightly.

  “You’re fine?”

  Emma shot him an aggravated look. It wasn’t fair that he was going to have to bear the brunt of her frustration. Didn’t mean she wasn’t going to make him. After all, he was the only one who knew her secret, and, more importantly, he was right in front of her. “That’s what I said, isn’t it?” She growled and ripped her arms from his grasp. “Do you have a phone?”

  Hook looked at her slightly bewildered, but produced one anyways. “Say please,” he demanded.

  Emma, unamused, took the device without a word. She punched in her brother’s number and began to tap her foot against the marble floor. It rang twice. “David,” she barked.

  She could practically feel her brother cringing on the other end. “You’re not happy. That’s going to make this a hell of a lot harder.”

  “Make what a lot harder?”

  “I need you to humor me here, Emma.” He was using his big brother tone, the one that was slightly patronizing and carried a bit of a warning.

  “David, I need you to cut to the chase here.”

  Her brother took a deep breath and then it all came out in a rush. “I reached out to a couple of stations across the country, asking them if they’d ever seen anything similar to what we have. I didn’t expect to hear anything back, but I got a hit. There were several murders over the course of multiple years before they stopped and then started up again in Boston.” Her brother sounded guilty, and she was mildly glad he seemed to recognize he shouldn’t have proceeded without her. “I didn’t want to worry you, so I figured I’d check it out while you were in London, that way when it turned out to be a bust, we wouldn’t have an issue. Except it didn’t turn out to be a bust, and now Mary Margaret, Henry, and I are all out here, and, well, I think you guys should be out here too.”

  Emma paused. David sounded nervous, and he wasn’t one to get nervous. “Where’s here?”

  There was a beat. “Phoenix.”

  The angel felt all the air rush out of her lungs as she started to get worked up again. “You’re in Phoenix?”

  “Yes, and Emma…”

  Suddenly she couldn’t hear him anymore, her eyes having drifted over to a regal looking portrait hanging a few feet away. Emma hadn’t noticed it before, too distracted by her minor breakdown. She made her way over to it slowly, trying to make sure that she was right, that she did recognize the man in it. He was very handsome; dark skin that was augmented by the heavy blue robes he was wearing, and brown eyes that suggested he knew far more than anyone should.

  “Swan?” She heard Hook’s voice call out, but she was already deep inside her own head.

  “We need to go, Emma. They’re coming,” the man implored.

  “No, no, I have to get to him, I have to-“ She began to pull away, barely recognizing her own voice. She sounded desperate beyond belief.

  “We don’t have time. We need to go, we need to go.”

  “No!” she screamed, and if she hadn’t recognized her voice before, she surely didn’t now. She sounded dark. She sounded dangerous.

  Suddenly, as if not by her own accord, her arm went sweeping out and the man flew backwards into a nearby tree. She felt her resolve harden. He couldn’t stop her.

  He was fading quickly, his head bleeding heavily. Still, he reached out to her. “Emma, please, don't do this. Don’t go down this path again. If you do, all our work is lost.”

  She stumbled forward, her legs seemingly carrying her towards the painting without her consent. It was the man from that first dream, that first memory. She’d known him and she’d known him well.

  She almost smiled when she saw that there was a tiny placard beneath the portrait telling her his name. She would’ve smiled if not for the lump in her throat and the tears in her eyes that prevented her from doing so.

  Merlin.

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