#CAN YOU TELL MY PARENTS HAVE ANTHROPOLOGY DEGREES | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

radiosandrecordings · 4 years

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There’s the person in me who loved psychology before I dropped out of that class and the one who currently studies moving image who really wants to run some kind of study on how fandom interprets things.

I’m gona take The Magnus Archives as a point of study for this. Say we have four test group:

Group 1 has watched every episode of TMA as it came out, episode one to two hundred as it airs, the full four year+ timeline. They have never interacted with the fandom and do not know anyone in real life who has listened to it.

Group 2 has also listened in real time, but interacts with fandom and talks about it regularly, consuming fan content like art and fics

Group 3 did what so many did and have binged all four seasons available to them before catching up and listening to season five in real time. They do not engage with fandom.

Group 4 does the same as group 3, but engages with fandom in the same way as group 2.

Readmore in case you don’t want to read 1000 words of me talking about media.

I really want to see how this shifts their interpretations of canon. My theory being, group 1 would probably have the clearest view of canon by itself, while group 4 would have the most warped. I’m not saying any of these have better interpretations the source, just that group one would view it more clearly as it was presented in its original format

The thing that prompted this was the treatment of the character of Martin Blackwood specifically. He’s one of if not the most popular character, and is often simplified in fan spaces as the soft, caretaking love interest, or in some interpretations popular in fandom during the airing of the fourth season, the ‘sassy gay’. I’d really want to test how much of that interpretation comes from canon itself, or how people warp canon to fit how they want to view the text.

I think it’s kind of similar of english class. Your teacher hands you a copy of Mice and Men and you read the book. As you go through, you discuss only what is in the text. You read and re-read the book until you have a good enough view of it that you can recall facts from memory and write an essay on it. What you don’t do, is read half the book, spend two months talking with your friends about it and reading and writing fanfiction about Lenny, George and Curly living on their ranch, just to be horrified and call it ‘OOC’ when somebody dies.

Back to the study of TMA, Martin specifically is a character who has grown and developed a lot over the four and a bit seasons the show has been running. At a certain point halfway through the series, it becomes clear that he has a romantic interest in the protagonist, and this is later reciprocated. I started listening to the show during it’s season break, with S3 being finished and S4 about to release. At the time it was implied that Martin had feelings, but it was unclear if this would be further expanded upon in canon. I want to know how far fan opinion of him differs from before and after this event, and further when his feelings are returned and the relationship becomes canon. Did the establishment of him as a romantic lead create a softer view of him in the listeners mind?

This is prompted by the fact that, after the relationship became official, his actions have been under much more of a microscope from fans than previously. Things that would be brushed off before, especially if said to another side character, are now scrutinised when he says them to his partner. Would this view be shared by someone who listened to the show in isolation, or is it purely a construct of a fan base who are more used to their own fan comics and fic of him where he’s the soft, doting boyfriend who would never offend his partner?

Because he has said things previously that are similar to how he is acting now, as episodes are released. He has been impulsive and inconsiderate with his words and missed cues in conversations, such as impulsively trying to touch some plastic explosives, or not getting a piece of self deprecating sarcasm and pointing out that the protagonist had just referred to himself as an idiot. This is where I would want to examine group 4 specifically. As people often listen to the whole four years of backlog in as short as a week, they often miss details such as this. They power through the source text, and then spend a longer amount of time immersed in fan interpretations, and my theory being that this long exposure overrides their memory of what his actions are in canon, and instead give a fan’s mental picture of him more of a fan created personality. They are more likely to remember something when it’s included in ten different fanfictions they read, all bouncing off each other, than an episode they listened sandwiched between two other episodes.

Fan headcanons are also a slippery slope, because often you can end up with things being perceived as canon which have little or no basis. This is usually all in good fun, but chasing rabbit hole after rabbit hole from au to headcanon to interpretation can often create something entirely indistinguishable from the source (Hell, remember the Onceler thing?). Plus, the creation of one interpretation of a character that inspires another will spread if it gains enough popularity, possibly even seeping down into the bare bones of the fan base until it’s somehow everywhere. An example of this is the almost always used design for the protagonist as a south asian man with long, dark hair, glasses and a largely green colour scheme. Someone with no fandom knowledge like groups 1 or 3 would have no idea this popular design for the man exists, but it is likely whenever listening to the show, groups 2 and 4 would picture a variant on this base design.

An added aspect of groups 1 & 2 that 3 & 4 don’t have is the fact that they get time to sit and theorise between episodes, whether alone or with a group respectively. When listening to a backlog like 3 & 4 you don’t need to sit and go ‘I wonder why he said that?’ because you can move on to the next episode and see why.

Basically, TL;DR: It’s here’s my hypothetical proposition for a psychology/anthropology study on how people’s perspectives on a media are shaped by the nature of how they consume it, focusing on the timeframe in which they consume it and their exposure to outside influence.

#My Post #I was trying to write this from an unbiased TMA fan perspective because I know I myself am subject to this just by being someone who listene #but I just wanted to examine this theory as a whole with TMA as the example study since it's something I know well AND has a clear example #CAN YOU TELL MY PARENTS HAVE ANTHROPOLOGY DEGREES #It doesn't even touch on web martin. i will write that sequel some day #neither of them have jobs to match but the curiosity rubbed off #The Magnus Archives #Martin Blackwood

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skyeet-the-writer · 4 years

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Can you write a corpse x reader when she finds out she's pregnant and she's playing among us and she imposter with corpse and she kill someone and someone sees and reports it right away she get all nauseous and let's it slip to everyone while she go to throw up and corpse doesn't know what to do but he's excited to be a dad. You can change it up and add thing if you want, I was writing everything down, sorry if this is weird.

And If You Wanna Stay … Please Stay

yes finally a pregnant request! also, i’m gonna be waiting to get the triggered pro-life people in my asks and DMs about how ‘iT’s A LiViNg BeInG”. like what’s the baby gonna do? tell it’s mom??

corpse x female!reader

summary: when the reader gets morning sickness during an Among Us game, Corpse and her expect the worst. And they get it.

word count: ~4.8k

warnings: swearing, vomiting, mentions of abortions, mentions of being pregnant, a little bit of suggestive content near the end but nothing happens

He’s finally asleep, you think to yourself as you watch your boyfriend’s chest rise and fall. He needed it.

Recently, Corpse has had trouble sleeping for more than three hours. You two had tried everything you could think of. You had tried staying up late to get him tired, you tried subliminals and music to get him to sleep. You even tried to give him a massage one time, but that led to other things.

You look over at the drawn curtains and pull them back a little. There, on the window, you have tin foil covering them. It’s a trick you learned from your dad when you were younger. When he worked night shifts, he had to sleep during the day, and he had trouble sleeping since your parent’s room had thin curtains. And so your father taped tin foil to all of the windows in their room so that he could sleep.

You’re not exactly sure why this seemed to work for Corpse, but you’re certainly not complaining. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping. He doesn’t look stressed, he doesn’t look sad. He looks so calm.

You lean forward and peck his nose. His breathing stutters and his nose wrinkles. You giggle and slowly, he opens his eyes. He blinks a few times and his brown eyes look around the room before settling on your face. He grins and your smile widens.

“That’s a pretty face to wake up to,” he mumbles and his morning voice makes you blush. “Oh my god, you’re already blushing.”

You blush even harder and bury your face in his neck. He laughs and hugs you around your waist. “Don’t make fun of me, asshole.”

He kisses your hair. “Morning, baby.”

“Good morning,” you mumble into his skin. You pull away so that you’re only a few inches apart. He leans forward and nuzzles your nose against his. Instead of kissing in the morning--you can’t handle his morning breath--you nuzzle your noses together.

“How’d you sleep?” you ask after you two pull away.

He smiles. “Really good, actually.” He chuckles and looks up at the window. “I guess the foil worked.”

You laugh and sit up. You’ve been awake for a little while and your stomach growls. “You hungry, babe?”

He nods and sits up as well, running a hand through his hair and shaking it out. “Can we have pancakes?”

“You can eat those, right?” you ask. You stand up out of bed and walk to the kitchen, your boyfriend trailing behind you.

“Yeah,” you hear him say. “Even if I couldn’t, I’d still want to eat them because you make really good pancakes.”

You smile. “Really? Thanks, babe.”

You get out the ingredients to make the pancakes when Corpse announces that he’s going to take a shower. You give him a kiss on his cheek and notice it’s a little scratchy. You grab his chin suddenly and he blinks at you as you run a thumb against his cheekbone.

“Want me to shave?” he asks softly.

You shrug. “If you want.”

He grabs your hand and presses his lips against your finger. He gives you a sweet little smile. “I’ll shave.” He squeezes your hand before walking back to your room.

After mixing all of the ingredients, you drop a few droplets onto the buttered up griddle. When it sizzles, you pour two medium-sized pancakes before going to search for the spatula.

When you find it in the dishwasher, you flip both of the pancakes and grin. They’re both perfect. You notice it’s quiet in the kitchen and call out, “Alexa.” You hear her go off in the living room. “Play some fall lofi.”

“Playing ‘Midnight Lofi - Fall Vibes’.

”You smile when it starts to come from the living room. It’s a little quiet, so you say, “Turn it up.”

The music starts to play a little louder and you smile more. It’s so aesthetically pleasing, lofi music. It’s probably one of your favorite music genres. Before you moved in with Corpse, you had to listen to something and you eventually began to fall asleep to lofi. But now that you’ve been living with him for almost a year, you don’t listen to it as much. Usually when you’re cleaning the house or playing music when you study for school.

You cook a few more pancakes and when you’re putting them on a plate, you have an idea. Corpse can’t eat chocolate because of his health, but you can. And you usually have a secret stash of chocolate in the back of the pantry. You’ve been craving chocolate a lot for the past week which is weird because your monthly hasn’t started yet even though it should have a few days ago. But you don’t dwell on that thought and pull up a chair from the small island and stand on top of it to reach the very back of the pantry. Your fingers skim the edge of the chocolate chip bag and you grab it between your middle and index finger. You grin at it and go to hop off of the chair when suddenly--

“What are you doing?”

You yell and you almost slip off the chair. Luckily, you land on your feet and wobble. You look up at your boyfriend when you regain your balance. He’s smirking and looking between you and the bag in your hand.

“Chocolate,” you tell him, making your way back to the griddle like nothing happened. “You know, just because you can’t eat it doesn’t mean I have to suffer with you.”

He laughs and leans on the counter next to you. “I know you have a stash, y/n.”

You look at him with wide eyes, stopping in your tracks. “You do?”

He nods. “Yep. I knew since the first month you moved in. You’re bad at hiding it, you know.”

You blink at him before shrugging, walking over to the griddle. “Well, you’re not allowed to have any.” You stick your tongue out at him and sprinkle the mini chocolate chips into the remaining batter. There are enough pancakes for Corpse, so you’ll just cook up the rest for yourself.

Usually, you and Corpse don’t wake up until after breakfast time since you have a habit of sleeping in. But when you can wake up early enough for breakfast, you both like to sit out at the small balcony and eat together.

“What are we doing today?” you ask Corpse, sitting across from him at the small metal table.

There’s a breeze and it ruffles his hair. “I was gonna stream Among Us later. You can play, too. My fans love you.” He smiles and looks down at his plate.

“As they should.” You flip your hair and the two of you laugh. “Yeah, I can play for a little while. I’ve got classes to do and a paper due tomorrow, though.” While Corpse is a Youtuber and a streamer, you’re a college student taking classes at San Diego State University, trying to get your major in anthropology and a minor in Spanish and engineering. “God, I have a test at the end of the week, babe. I’m gonna fail it,” you mutter, putting your face in your hands.

“What’s it in?”

“Spanish,” you tell him, pushing a blueberry with your fork.

He gives you a stare. “Babe, I’m literally half Mexican.” He laughs.

You throw the blueberry at his head and it bounces off onto the floor. “Shut up, stop making fun of me!”

He grins. “I can tell you the answers as you take the test. It’s online, right?”

You nod. “Yeah, I chose all online classes this year. I mean, you could. But that’s cheating.” You flip a piece of your pancake over. “And I don’t wanna cheat. I cheated all the way through high school. I want college to be different.”

Corpse grabs your hand and you look up at him. He’s smiling at you. “You’re smart, baby. You’re gonna do fine. You’re gonna get your degrees and you’re gonna be the best... what are you studying again?”

“Anthropology,” you tell him quietly.

“You’re gonna be the best anthropologist ever.”

You crack a small smile. “Do you even know what an anthropologist is?”

“No.”

You laugh and that gets him to smile. You lean across the table and press a gentle kiss to his lips. It’s a little sticky and sweet because of the syrup, but you’re not complaining.

Later that morning, after taking a shower while Corpse cleans breakfast up, Corpse says that he’s going to stream and you come and join him. There’s a monitor across from his that you use from time to time and a headset as well.

Your boyfriend sends you the code for the Discord and the Among Us game. Corpse looks at you from across the desks and you smile. He grins back and your stomach churns. You blink and wince at the feeling. You’ve been feeling nauseated for a few days now and you don’t want to get sick during a stream.

“Hi Corpse,” someone says as you load into the waiting room. You look back at the screen as someone gasps. “y/n! Best friend!”

It’s Sean and you laugh. “Hi, Sean.”

“y/n!” exclaims someone else and you realize that it’s Lily.

“I thought I was your best friend, Jack!” says Sykkuno and he sounds hurt.

You smile and move your character to the customization. You choose yellow and choose the leaf hat. Since your gamer tag is “lemon” you always try and be a lemon.

“Aw, y/n’s a lemon,” says Dave.

You laugh and run circles around him. “Hi, Dave.”

You hear him laugh and Corpse chuckles in front of you. You look at him and be flashes you a smile.

The round starts and the red “IMPOSTER” text lights up your screen. You’re paired up with Felix. You haven’t been the imposter with Felix too often, so you don’t know what to expect. You mute your headset and head down to storage to fake wires before going to fake another task.

You’re standing in the electrical room pretending to download data when Sykkuno walks in. You pull up the sabotage map and close the door before killing him and venting. You come out in the medbay and head over to the cafeteria.

When a body is reported, it’s Lily’s. You unmute yourself and bite your thumbnail as your stomach churns even more. You’re starting to get worried that you’re going to get sick.

“I found Lily in admin,” says Sean. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”

“Sykkuno is dead, too,” Julien points out.

“Oh shit,” you mutter and hold a hand over your mouth. You try to keep the bile from rising while everyone talks and you don’t bother to listen. You do hear someone say that they’re going to skip voting and you do the same.

When no one is ejected, you mute your mic once again and go to follow Corpse down to the shields. You stand beside him while he does his task. Sorry, babe, you think and kill him just as your kill cooldown reaches zero.

You smirk and run away in the opposite direction and you can feel him staring at you. You glance up at him and your smile widens. “What?”

He just shakes his head and you laugh.

You meet up with Dave and follow him around and fake wires with him. At one point, you and he cross paths with Felix and Toast. You may not know Felix too well, but any good imposter knows to go for a double kill. So as you run by each other in the cafeteria, you close the door and both you and Felix kill who you were with before venting away.

By the time you’re out of the vent and running away from admin, Dave’s body is reported. Your stomach feels awful now and you’re almost certain you’re going to throw up in the next thirty seconds.

“Fuck.” You unmute your mic. “It was me, I killed Dave. I’m the imposter. I’ll be right back.” You practically throw your headset off and run for the bathroom.

Corpse watches you practically run out of the room. For a second, he’s not sure what to do. Should he go after you? But he’s in the middle of streaming.

“y/n?” Sean asks. “Corpse, where’d she go?”

“Is she okay?” Julien wonders.

He nods even though no one can see him. “Y—yeah. I’m gonna go check on her. I’ll be right back.” He mutes his mic and takes his headphones off before leaving the room to go check on you.

He finds you on the tiled bathroom floor vomiting into the toilet. He curses and kneels behind you, pulling your hair back.

When you finish, he says, “This is the third time this week you’ve gotten sick, baby.”

You groan and lean your head on your arm. “I know. I don’t know why. Well, I—“ You cut yourself off and go still as if you suddenly had a realization.

Corpse tilts his head. “What is it?”

It takes you a few long moments to respond. “…My period is late. And I’m getting morning sickness. Plus I’ve been moody.” You turn back to look at him and he can tell you’re about to cry. “Corpse.”

You don’t need to say anything else. He’s already standing up, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach and his shaking hands. “I’ll go get you some tests.”

You grab his hand. “Corpse, no! I’ll go.”

He shakes his head and gets on his knees in front of you. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll be okay, don’t worry about me.”

Your lip quivers. “You don’t have to do this. I know how much you don’t like going outside. Really, it’s not a big deal, I can go get some.”

But then he kisses your forehead. “y/n, it’s okay. You need to rest. I won’t be out for very long.” He stands up after squeezing your hands. “I’ll be back in, like, twenty minutes.”

Before you can do anything to stop him, he turns around and goes to grab his mask and his wallet before grabbing your car keys. He doesn’t like to drive, but you’re worried and driving is quicker. And right now you’re the most important thing for him to be thinking about.

When Corpse leaves, you sigh and stay sitting on the floor for a few more minutes while your stomach settles itself. Afterward, you get up and brush your teeth after flushing the toilet. Deciding to get some school work done, you grab your laptop and head to the living room.

When you pass by his recording room, however, you see his monitor still on. You curse and head inside. He’s still streaming. You sit down and put his headset on and unmute his mic. “Hey, guys.”

You glance at the exploding chat as Sean asks, “y/n? Where’s Corpse? Are you okay?”

I’m probably pregnant. “Uh, I’m kind of sick, so Corpse went out to get me some, uh, stuff. Sorry, but we gotta go. Uh, it was fun streaming.”

“Okay,” says Sykkuno. “I hope you feel better, y/n.”

“Thanks,” you mumble. “Bye, guys.” You leave the chat and close the game before looking at Corpse’s stream chat. “Sorry about this, guys. I had fun streaming, though, I’m sure Corse did too. Have a good day.” You smile even though they can’t see you before ending the stream. You go over to your monitor and leave the game and chat in your own game. You lean back in your chair and press your hands in your eyelids.

You want to cry. You want to scream. You can’t be pregnant. You’re still a kid, you haven’t completed college yet. You and Corpse aren’t even married.

You suck in a shaky breath and wipe your damp eyes. “I’m probably not pregnant,” you whisper and stand up to go into the living room. “I probably just ate something bad. Yeah, that’s it.”

You sit in the living room on the couch with a blanket around your shoulders, trying to focus on your schoolwork. But you can’t. Your mind is too overwhelmed with the possibilities. You hope Corpse is okay. You know how much he hates going outside and being around other people.

You turn back to look at the lecture your professor posted and sigh. You just need to relax and calm down. Just wait until Corpse gets back and focus on schoolwork until then.

It takes a while, but he does come back. Some small voice in your head thought that he wasn’t going to come back, but you quickly pushed it away. Corpse loves you and he’d never leave you.

The front door opens and you look up from the paper you’re in the middle of typing. You meet him in the hallway where he’s taking his mask off, a plastic bag in his hand. He meets your eyes and cups your face in one hand.

“Are you okay?” he asks softly.

Your chin wobbles and you shake your head. Tears form in the edges of your eyes and you suck in a deep breath. “Did you get some tests?”

He nods hand hands the bag to you. But before you can take them, he grabs your wrist. “Hey. I’m not leaving, y/n.”

You nod before taking the bag from him and quickly walking to the bathroom. You’re scared to say anything because you know that if you do, you’ll start to cry.

Ten minutes later, you’re sitting on the bathroom floor with Corpse, leaning into his side as he rubs your shoulder. There are three tests on the counter and your boyfriend has a timer running on his phone for five minutes. So far, three minutes have passed. To you, they’ve felt like a lifetime.

“Are you okay?” Corpse asks quietly, finally breaking the silence.

You shrug, not entirely sure how you feel. “I don’t know. I’m scared.” You glance down at your stomach and place a hand on your naval. “If I am pregnant, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m young.” You look at him. “We’re young. I’m still in college. I can’t afford to have a kid!”

“I know.” He draws you closer to your shoulder. “But whatever you decide to do, I’m going to support you. And I’m not going to leave you, either. In case you were worried about that.”

Even though you shouldn’t have been, you were.

Luckily, Corpse changes the subject, going on to say, “I’ve been working on another song.”

“Really?”

He nods. “Yeah. It’s kind of a lofi type song. I can show you the lyrics, later, if you want.”

You smile a little and look up at him, staring into his shining, dark eyes. “I’d like that.”

He smiles back and leans down to give you a small kiss. When you pull away, his phone rings, signaling that the timer is done. He turns his phone off and you stand up, walking towards the counter where the tests are. You pick one up.

One line.

You let out a breath of relief and turn to Corpse where he’s leaning on the sink. “Negative.”

He smiles a little. “What about the other two?”

You look back down at the other two tests. You pick one up and your heart drops. Two lines. You swallow and gently place it down as your hands begin to shake. Maybe that one is a false positive. There’s still another one. Whatever this one says will probably determine if you’re pregnant or not.

And so you pick it up. And you smack a hand over your mouth when you see two lines. You’re pregnant. You’re pregnant. The test falls from your hands and you fall to your knees, tears streaming down your face.

“Baby, what did it say?” Corpse asks, coming to your side and trying to coax your face into his hand. “Babe?”

“I don’t want a baby!” you exclaim through your tears. “I can’t handle that. I’m too young, I’m not ready. We’re not ready.” You lean into his arms as he pulls you towards him. “Corpse, I don’t want it.”

He nods and you feel him run his fingers through your hair. “It’s your decision, babe. It’s your choice. And I’m gonna support you either way if you want to keep it or not. If you do decide to keep it, then we’ll figure something out. If not, I’ll drive you there and get you In-N-Out or something.”

That gets you to laugh as you tighten your arms around him. “You’ll really buy me food?”

“Yes. I’d do anything for you.”

Your stomach churns that night as you’re scheduling an appointment to get rid of the clump of cells in your body. You’re nervous and Corpse was sweet enough to order you whatever you want for dinner.

You get off the phone as Corpse grabs the food from the delivery person and walks into the kitchen. He looks at you as he places the bags down on the counter. “So?”

You swallow and lean on the counter. “My appointment is in a couple of days.”

He nods and approaches you, placing his hands on your hips and drawing you to his chest. “It’s going to be okay, love.”

You lean your head on his chest. “Am I a bad person?”

“Of course not. It’s your body. You can do whatever you want with it. And besides, it’s not like it’s living anyway.”

You giggle as you try not to cry again. “What’s the baby gonna do? Remember it?”

Corpse laughs his deep and rumbly laugh and you grin. “True. But I seriously will buy you In-N-Out if you want. Or McDonald’s.”

You laugh again and tighten your arms around him. “Okay. And, Corpse?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for being so supportive of wanting to get rid of it.”

He kisses your head. “Don’t thank me.”

When you and Corpse are laying in bed after watching a true-crime documentary, he’s gently dragging his nails up and down your back as you’re nestled into his chest. The tinfoil is still on the windows and it makes the room even darker. Which is actually the entire point.

Something had been rattling around in your head for the past few hours and you hadn’t gotten the courage to ask Corpse. But here, in the darkness of the bedroom the two of you share, you often ask each other stupid questions late at night when neither of you can fall asleep.

And it feels like it’s going to be another one of those nights because you’re wide-awake and you know Corpse is as well. And so you ask, “Do you ever want to have kids together?”

His hand abruptly stops dragging his nails on your back. “What?”

You regret asking him, but there’s no going back now. “When we’re older, would you ever want to have a family together?”

His hand begins to slowly go up and down your back once more. “Maybe. If you want to. If you want to have kids one day when we’re older, then I’ll definitely have kids with you.”

This makes you smile and you tighten your arms around his middle. “I love you, Corpse.”

“I love you, too.” He kisses your head. “Before we have kids, we should get married first.”

You grumble and say, “We’ll see who proposes first, then.”

He laughs and wraps his arms around your waist. “It’ll probably be you, baby. I’m too anxious.”

“Excuses, excuses,” you huff but the two of you laugh. “I’m too broke to afford a ring, though. You might have to settle with a Ring Pop.”

“If you propose to me with an onion ring and I would say yes.”

You giggle as something else comes to mind. “What about those cheap, plastic spider rings? Or the ones that come on cupcakes.”

Corpse laughs again and begins to scratch your back again. “If you do that, we would get married on the spot,” he says in that deep and gravely voice of his.

You grin. “I’m keeping that in mind.”

Corpse hums into your shoulder. “You’re not going to fall asleep anytime soon, are you?”

You shake your head. “No. Are you?”

“Nope.”

“What do you want to do?” you ask him, pulling away from him to look at his face through the darkness.

Even though you can’t see him too much, you know he’s smirking. “Well, there’s already a fetus in you. Want to see if we can get another one?”

You laugh and push his chest. “You’re disgusting, Corpse!”

He laughs and grabs your hands and lifts your arms up so he can roll on top of you. “Maybe. But it got you to laugh.”

You blush and turn your head to the side as he sits on top of you, holding your hands above your head. He starts to kiss down your neck and you sigh. “Corpse.”

He hums against your skin.

You bite your lip. “I’m not really in the mood, babe.”

Immediately, he stops what he was doing and lifts his head. “Okay. That’s fine, babe. It’s been a long day. Can we still cuddle, though?”

You nod and smile. “Of course. You can be the little spoon.”

“Yay!” he exclaims and climbs on top of you and rolls on his side. You get yourself situated behind him and throw one arm over his stomach and use the other one to play with his incredibly curly hair. Your legs get tangled together like they always do and you bury your fingers in his hair while he lets out a deep breath through his nose.

“Happy?” you ask him quietly and he nods. You squeeze his stomach with the arm you have there and kiss his head. “Okay. Try to sleep again, babe, okay?”

He nods, but both of you know you’re not going to fall asleep for a while. And that’s okay. You both sit there in the darkness talking about everything and nothing while you play with his hair and he holds the hand around his stomach with one of his hands. You don’t say anything else about you being pregnant or kids or how you want to get rid of it, and you’re glad. You don’t want to talk about it because you feel like a bad person for not wanting the baby.

Of course, you’re not going to change your mind. Neither you nor Corpse are ready for a child. But that small voice in your head tells you that you’re making the wrong choice or a bad decision.

But you don’t listen to it. You don’t listen to it that night while Corpse falls asleep again in your arms or when you’re in class the next day. Not even when you’re listening to a demo of Corpse’s new song in the car on the way to the clinic.

“It’s really good!” you exclaim as he parks in the parking lot. “I love it, babe.”

He smiles at you before glancing at the clinic. “Want me to go with you?”

You shake your head. “No, I’ll be fine. It'll take little while, though. So you can go do something else if you want to.”

He nods and leans in to give you a kiss. “Okay. I love you. Text me if anything goes wrong at all, okay?”

You laugh gently and nod. “Okay, I will.”

“Love you,” he tells you again as you’re putting your mask on.

You pull it down and smile at him softly. “You already said that, babe.”

He blushes and looks away. “O--oh. Sorry.”

You just kiss his cheek. “It’s okay. I’ll be back.” You pull your mask back up and gather your things before getting out of the car. You wave to him and then make your way into the clinic.

And Corpse did stay true to his words about getting you In-N-Out after your appointment. He even paid for it and got you a milkshake, too.

That night, after finally dragging Corpse away from his computer so he’ll at least try to fall asleep with you, you begin to think. You feel better after your appointment. Before, you were incredibly stressed out and even a little depressed. But afterward, you felt so much better. You felt like you could breathe and no have to worry about throwing up or eating the wrong thing.

And you didn’t regret getting an abortion. You and Corpse both knew neither of you are ready for one and that’s okay. You’re both still young and still new to being together. But as Corpse hums some song against your neck with his nose buried in the skin there, you feel the vibrations from his throat against your shoulder. You sigh happily and push a hand into his hair and gently scratch at his scalp. You feel him smile against your neck and you can’t help but mimic it.

Yeah. You and Corpse aren’t ready for kids. But maybe you will be one day.

---------------------

I’m sorry, but the tag list is closed. It’s just too stressful for me to keep adding them. I’m sorry, guys. Also sorry to everyone who messaged me to add them because I didn’t write them down and can’t access my messages now. Still love you guys! x.

@honeysuger @chubby-dumpling @polahorvat @annshit @simonsbluee @dad-ee-drea @save-the-sky @wibblytimey @thegirlwholikestomanythings @yagorlnessa @alilshit @majolittlemixgurl18 @the-bunny-anon @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @loraleiix @artist-bby @ellomellows @pillowjj @matthew-gray-g @myherotrashbin @sunnsetteeee @lxdybyrd @cultofandom @anngelllla @tododokizuku @pachowpachowbucket @gaysludge @bethpiercwhy @marvelkatwoman @c0rpsew1fe @your-cherry-bomb @bi-andready-tocry @redosmo @gracehaileym @helena-way07 @nekomacam @fadingprunebagelfestival @fifiyau105 @easygoingtheatre @satanwithagenda @gracehaileym @oumachii @mythicalreader @this-isnt-living-anymore @punkrainbows @kitsunedarian @crapimahuman @honestlyimstilllivinginthe90s @realnicoleworld @scarswideworld @bluewneptune @weeblyheaux @beebo-at-the-church @melmachh @abbiesthings @peterparkerspjsuit @mitchiesdungeon @theeerealpunkin @kaitlynw011 @bookoffracturedghosts @beebeomgyu @tooturntashbash @hughugh20 @spideys-gurl @reddeserths @heartbroken-writer @chimchimsugakookies @danny-devitowo @susceptible-but-siriusexual @moonnei @crystalbaby12 @cherry-pieee @girl-obsessed-with-things @sokkas-paintings @yobroitsjayden @boba-king-iroh @chouxfleur @bbecc-a @tayloryorkscurls @getdevils @nightly-daydreamer @beegobuzzbuzz @dxffxdils @mae-musicbitch @fangirlmisanthrope @bipolarbisexualdisaster @taliyahvermillion @unded-bride @kguerrero-23 @cold-deep-water @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @motheroffae @jokenotfunny @yongboxerrr @theolwebshooter @hawkssnugget @yoyoanaria @babyhoneystvles @rjwinterfell @simp-for-corpse @benjaminka @sailor-earth-1 @mmimozaa @zirvel @bombardia @parkchaeyoung1997 @tetsuluvbot @killuaz0ldick @xibrokensunriseix@fuckbuckyyy @luv-buggie @moneybagmara @betabeta0031 @adorkably @angelic-blxssom @littlebabysandboxburritos @thebriarpatch @i-have-arrived-bitch @alexandrium

#corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband #corpse_husband #corpse_husband x reader #oneshot #x reader #angst #fluff

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anachronisticcrab · 3 years

Text

Percy Being Good To Nico

I love Percy and Nico friendship, but in canon, Percy was such an ass to Nico. So here are some ideas of how that could have been changed in a canon divergent fic

After the Battle of the Labyrinth, when Nico was trying to leave CHB and Percy stopped him, Percy gave Nico his phone number and home address in case of emergency (that’s how he knew where Percy lived)

After Percy’s birthday party that Nico crashed, Sally started getting Nico to come for dinner once a month, which caused Nico and Percy to become a lot closer

This seriously cut back on Percy’s stress because he wasn’t constantly worrying about Nico (like where he was, if he was okay, how many monsters was he fighting now, how much is he eating, where is he sleeping, when was the last time he actually performed any sort of self care, etc)

Pretty quickly once a month dinners became once a week dinners, which usually ended in Nico staying overnight

When Sally and Paul got married, they moved into Paul’s apartment, and Sally gave Nico the address. When he showed up the first Friday for dinner, he almost cried of joy (they had added an extra bed in Percy’s room for Nico to stay in)

Percy throws Nico a surprise party for his birthday every year, and Nico tried baking Percy a cake for his birthday one year. Suffice to say, it didn’t end well, but Percy still ate it with a smile on his face because his little brother made it for him

After that though, Percy and Nico agreed that Percy and Sally would stick to the baking, and Nico could stick to making meals

They had a two hour conversation after the Battle of Manhattan to talk about the Styx thing. It ended with a tearful apology from Nico, and a tearful hug from Percy. Now the two of them have a conversation twice a month about their feelings and bullshit that’s happened

Percy making Nico watch an endless stream of Disney movies (Finding Nemo, Moana, The Little Mermaid, basically anything that goes along with the sea)

When Percy finds out about Nico’s love of pirates, he gets Nico to watch all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies with him

Percy feeds Nico bullshit facts about the modern century (ie. the Soviet Union renamed themselves the Cotton Candy Brigade and then disbanded, but citizens of former soviet countries are still called Munchkins)

Nico feeds Percy bullshit facts about both the 30’s and Italy (ie. Italy is known to its citizens as the Peninsula of Cazzo, and that they didn’t have cutlery or plates in the 30’s)

Sometime between botl and tlo, Nico’s feelings for Percy morphed from romantic to brotherly

When Nico had to lie to Percy about who he was in SoN, it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Percy knew that he knew Nico, and it crushed Nico that Percy couldn’t remember him, and that he couldn’t tell Percy anything. He hadn’t seen his big brother in almost a year, and now Percy didn’t remember him, and he couldn’t remind him

When they saw each other again on the Argo 2 before Percy and Annabeth fell into Tartarus, you cannot convince me that Percy didn’t give Nico a hug

Nico genuinely didn’t have a crush on Percy by HoO, he thought of Percy as a brother. He was still really ashamed of being gay, and he loved Percy (just in a very different way). That’s why Jason wasn’t sure if Nico still liked Percy or not after the Cupid thing. He could tell that Nico was ashamed and loved Percy, but he didn’t know that Nico just loved Percy in a different way

Nico got super ticked off at Percy when he said ‘are you sure you can do this’ to the shadow travel thing at the end of HoH mostly because Percy has a bad habit of treating Nico like he’s still that ten year old geek from Westover Hall

Like really. Everyone else around Nico sees a terrifying teenager who’s summoned army’s of the undead and destroys his enemies in ten seconds flat, but Percy just sees a kid with big eyes infodumping about his favourite card game wearing armour that’s three sizes too big telling him that he’s scared

It pisses Nico off because he’s not a little kid anymore, Percy! he can take care of himself! he isn’t gonna break the second he goes to fight!

Also, by extension, Nico and Tyson are siblings and Hazel and Percy are siblings (which adds Frank into their family, cause he’s Nico’s age and dating Hazel). So when Reyna, Nico, and Hedge were caught by Leah and Dakota on the boat, Nico was super excited to see his little brother again. He wasn’t even that upset when Tyson pulled him into a hug (even though he hates hugs)

When they see each other again at CHB after the Battle, they give each other a big hug. Percy tells Nico’s that he was so worried he’d never see his baby brother again, and Nico proceeds to make fun of Percy for waking up Gaia with a nosebleed

Also, after Reyna and Nico’s hug, Percy pulls Nico aside and is like ‘what’s the deal with you and Reyna’ and Nico’s like ‘she’s my sister now’ and Percy goes ‘oh, okay, cool. bring her around for family dinner next weekend’

Same with Jason, Rachel, and Meg, too. Percy’s always down for more adoptive family being around

After Nico came out to Percy and Annabeth, and told Percy that he’s gay, Percy went to the infirmary to talk to Nico. He wasn’t allowed in at first, but he waited outside for three hours so he could speak with Nico

Of course, this led to a three hour discussion, which involved a lot of apologies from both of them, and a lot of shared stories, and laughs, and a few tears. Percy told Nico he shouldn’t be ashamed of who he is, and he should’ve told Percy sooner

When Percy went home for the school year, and to see his parents again, Nico joined him. There were lots of tears, hugging and blue cookies. Then Sally grounded them both for staying away for so long and worrying the hell out of her and Paul

When Percy sees Nico and Will interact, he makes it his goal to make them a couple. He and Jason spend hours plotting ways to get them together

Whenever Nico’s away from home for any amount of time, Percy gives Nico a big hug, ruffles his hair, and complains that he stayed away

When Nico first moves to New Rome for university, Will’s living in Massachusetts for Harvard Med School, so he moves in with Jason and Percy for a few years while he gets a degree in linguistics and anthropology

Btw, Annabeth thought Percy would distract her when she was trying to study, so she moved in with Piper and Reyna, and Percy moved in with Jason. It should’ve only taken her 4 years to get her masters in architecture, but the university offers a bunch of history, math, and design classes that she took because they were really interesting (it ended up taking her 6 years)

That’s all for now. I might make another post about this cause I live for Percy and Nico friendship. Btw,, DO NOT tag as P*rcico. This is purely familial and platonic headcanons

#percy jackson #nico di angelo #hazel lavesque #frank zhang #piper mclean #jason grace #annabeth chase #leo valdez #will solace #reyna ramirez arellano #reyna avila ramirez arellano #pjo #hoo #og post #solangelo #percabeth #sally jackson #paul blofis #estelle blofis

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postmodernbeing · 3 years

Text

Shingeki no Kyojin headcanons: 104th training corps (College AU)

Hello, Postmodernbeing here. This time I wanted to write about things that I actually know, since I’m a college student and I’m studing History and Social Sciences I found myself wondering about what would the 104th training corps focus their studies on if all of them had chosen humanities as their career. I hope you find this funny and at least a bit accurate.

IMPORTANT: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, only these HCs are my own. // Might contain a few spoilers from the manga. // English is not my first language and I study uni at Latin America, so scientifical terms/words/concepts may vary. Anyhow, I thank you for reading and for your patience.

Eren Jaeger

He’s passionate about Military History, not to be confused with history of army. Eren’s rather focused in strategies, weapons and semiotics involved in military speech.

First started with books about great wars in modern era. The use of certain weapons took him by surprise due the technological development.

Then he took classes about discourse analysis, semiotics and such, and felt inspired by the discourse reflected in emblems, uniforms, flags, etc.

Eren doesn’t really have a preference between occidental or oriental, North or South, Modern or Ancient settings. He would simply devour all the books that deal with military strategy and warlike conflicts. Although he has more experience and information about great wars in modern era.

He’s fascinated with the inexhaustible human desire of freedom and the extent that it can reach. This fascination might not be very healthy, he concludes.

Also, finds a cruel beauty in violence when showed in freedom and ideals are protected over one’s own life. But he won’t tell his classmates or professors. He knows is a controversial opinion for he’s still aware the implications of massive conflicts and the abuse of power.

One thing led to another, Eren is now taking classes and reading about philosophy in war and anthropological perspectives about violence through time.

He’s so into social movements besides his main interest in college: “No one’s really free until all humanity is”, that’s his life motto pretty much.

Due his readings and researches he decided it was important to develop a political stance about the world’s problems. Eren strongly believes all lives worth the same, but systems and nations had imposed over others and vulnerated other human's lives.

Yes, Eren is anti-capitalist and anti-imperialist.

Mikasa Ackerman

Asian Studies Major / History Minor.

She thinks by studying these degrees, she pays honor to her heritage. Specially to her mother. Her family is the proudest for Mikasa is also the best student in her whole generation.

Mikasa received a scholarship thanks to Azumabito family, who are co-founders of an academic institution dedicated to Asian historical and cultural research. She might as well start working when she graduates.

Although she’s passionate about Japan’s history, she has written a few articles and essays about Asian Studies themselves and the importance of preserving but also divulging by means of art and sciences.

In her essays and research work, she likes to employ tools from many disciplines since she strongly believes all humanities and social sciences serve the very same purpose at scrutinize the social reality all the same. Might as well use demographics, ethnology, sociology, philosophy, anthropology, archeology, and so on. For it proves to bring light into questions that history by itself could answer unsatisfactorily (in Mikasa’s opinion).

Even her professors wonder how she manages to organize that much information and pull it off successfully. She might as well be more brilliant than a few PhD’s students.

Armin Arlert

Prehistoric studies / Archeology

He’s so into the studies about the prehistoric humans and routes of migration.

Passionate about the ocean and natural wonders since kid, Armin believed his career would be environmentalist or geoscience related.

That was the agreement he had with his grandad since middleschool, until he read Paul Rivet’s “The Origins of the American Man” book and captured him thoroughly. The way the book explained logically the diverse theories about global migration and enlisted the challenges of modern archeology -for there are numerous mysteries- simply devoured his conscience.

He knew from the books he’d read that most evidence of the first settlements are deep under dirt or far away in the ocean whose level has risen over the centuries leaving primitive camps – and answers – unreachable.

That’s the reason he is so eager to study and give his best to contribute both archeology and history disciplines. Also, he’ll forever love the ocean and nature, just leave him do all the fieldwork, please.

Jean Kirstein

History of industry / Industrial heritage / Historical materialism

Jean first started interested in capitalist industries and production development in first world countries. Kind of rejected other visions and explanations since he’d read about positivism studies.

His interest in such matters started when he was a just boy. He often found himself wondering how things were made and that question captured him ever since. As he grew up, he realized that machines and industrial processes were highly involved in the most mundane objects creation.

Nonetheless, he learnt that not always the best machinery was used, nor the best work conditions were available for mass production. From that moment he’d started to read about the First Industrial Revolution and his mind just took off with questions. Invariably, he learned about labour struggle and the transforming power due workforce.

Between his readings and university classes, he’d knew more about labour movements, unions. And in the theoretical aspect, he'd learned about historical materialism analysis.

One could say that Jean possesses a humanistic vision of the implications in mass production under capitalist system along history and nowadays.

Marco Bodt

Royalty's history / Medieval Studies

I wanted to keep his canonical fascination to royalty and the best way to do that was including Medieval Studies.

Marco would study since the fall of Roman Empire until the latest gossip of royal families all across Europe.

Might get a bit of Eurocentric with his essays but in real life discussions he’s always open to debates about decolonization. He has even read Frantz Fanon books and possesses a critical thinking about colonial countries and their relations with the so named third world.

Nevertheless, Marco finds a strange beauty in the lives of monarchs and he’s interested in study from their education, hobbies, strategies, relationships, everything.

I’d say that his favorite historical period is probably the establishment of the descendants of the barbarian peoples in the new kingdoms such as the Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Franks, Vandals, Huns, Saxons, Angles and Jutes (holy shit, they're a lot).

Because this would transcend as the beginning of his favorite matter of analysis.

Sasha Braus

History of gastronomy, development of cooking, antropology and archeological studies.

Sasha’s interested in the history that shows human development of food and cooking. She finds wonders when she inquires into cultural aspects from the first farming till modern artistic expressions that would involve food.

Such as gastronomy. But her attention got caught in literature’s food representation too, with its symbols and allegories, also in paintings that belong in still life movement, but also Sasha finds interest when food is used as rhetorical devices (for example: the apple in Adam and Eve’s myth).

She’s curious about primitive systems of irrigation, cultivation, food distribution, adaptation of wild species; as well as the domestication of animals, the diversification of the diet and its link with sedentary life, as well as the subsequent division of labor once the need for food was assured in humanity’ first cities.

Sasha’s convinced that alimentation is the pilar of civilization as we know it. For it involves cultural, artistic, economic, emotion and social aspects. Food is a microcosm of analysis of humanity.

Sasha hasn’t a favorite historical period or setting. But she definitely has a special fascination for first civilizations and their link with alimentation. Also, she likes to study the development gastronomy in occident world around different regions, social classes, and time.

Although, let’s be honest, Sasha would devour (lol, couldn’t help it) ANY book about agriculture, cattle raising, cooking or gastronomy.

Connie Springer

Micro-history / History of everyday life.

Connie loves his hometown, has a deep respect to his family and traditions. That’s why he finds himself wondering about the most ordinary events that developed in his dear Ragako.

The book “The Cheese and the Worms” by Carlo Ginzburg changed the way he used to understand history and capture him into meaningful discussions about what he learned was called micro-history.

His favorite quote from that book is: “As with language, culture offers to the individual a horizon of latent possibilities—a flexible and invisible cage in which he can exercise his own conditional liberty.”

Once deep into studying the Italian historians and their works, he decided to give it a try, and ever since he’s mesmerized with the mundane vestiges craftsmen that worked in his village left behind.

Connie’s parents are so proud of him and his achivements, but mostly because he became a passionate academic over human and simple matters, (so down to earth our big baby).

His attitude towards his essays and research works truly shows his great heart and humility. Connie is aware that academic works have no use if they are not meant to teach us about ourselves too and current times.

Empathy and hard work, that’s how one could describe the elements that integrate his recently started academic career.

Historia Reiss

Political History / Statistician

Her father’s family pressured Historia since she was a little girl into studying History just like his dad. For he’s a very famous historian that had made important researches and books about the greatest statesmen of Paradis.

She thought in numerous ways that she could sabotage her career or study any other career without her family’s consent and end with her linage of historians. But she ended up enrolling in tuition and so far, she is trying her best in her studies. Historia swears this is the right path for her.

But don’t let the appearances fool you, even thought she studies her father’s career and the very same branch of history’s discipline, she has her own critical sense and she’s so talented on her own, very meticulous with her research papers.

Definitely wants a PhD about women, power and politics. We stand a Gender Studies Queen.

Her complementary disciplines are Political Sciences. Historia also has a talent for philosophy and owns a diary with all her thoughts about them. She hopes one day she would write a book or a manifesto about an innovative methodology for research and teaching History of Politic Thinking.

Ymir

Religion’s History / Theology

Just like Historia, Ymir was pressured into studying History. And if she’s totally honest, she still has some doubts about it. Even if she couldn’t imagine herself studying anything else.

Anyways, Ymir thought that she could build her career around topics that she enjoys. So, she finally chose theology for unusual reasons.

Her classmates had grown up in religious families or had experience studying the doctrines they practiced. But she, being an agnostic, found satisfaction in unraveling belief systems in different cultures and time periods.

Albeit she studies in Paradis’ University, she currently has the opportunity of taking an academic exchange at Marley’s University. This only made Ymir more conflicted about her future, for she wants to stay (near Historia) but she’s aware that Marley would offer her more academic opportunities for her specialization.

Nowadays she’s working in some collaborative research paper with some people from Mythological Studies from the Literature department. She’s nailing it, writing some historical studies about titans in Greek mythology and its impact in shaping neoclassical poetry. Her brains ugh, love her.

Reiner Braun

Official History / Biographies of heroes and great wars.

His mother convinced him with numerous books about great national heroes, but mostly because she knew that would mean sure job to her son. All political administration in every level requires of an official chronicler.

When he started his college courses, Reiner felt motivated and he was actually convinced that he had the vocation. But the more he read the less sure he felt that the academic world was for him. He wondered if he made the right choice. If he did it for him or for his mother.

Stories and myths about heroes have always cheered him up. That gave him purpose and consoled him when feeling down. Or at least it was like that when younger. Reiner truly didn’t feel like himself when regretting his choices, but he couldn’t help it for he was changing in more than a way.

That’s why he decided to experiment with other disciplines and with time he would find joy in historical novels. He would analyze them just as good as a litterateur and research about historical context in the written story AND study the artwork’s context itself.

His favorites theorical books are: “Historical Text as Literary Artifact” by Hayden White and Michel de Certeau’ “The Writing of History”.·

Heroes stories would always accompany him, just differently now.

Bertolt Hoover

History of mentalities / Les Annales

Intimate relationships, basic habits and attitudes. / Culture

Bertie has always been a much reticent and shy guy. As he grew up, he consolidated his sullen personality, but maintained a friendly attitude towards anyone who needed him. That’s why he thought that the priority in his studies was to be at the service of his classmates.

So, although he was passionate about research and was a fan of the French Les Annales current, he considered his mission to be in the Archive. As a cataloger, organizer and curator of ancient documents.

But the ways of History are always mysterious, and Doctor Magath showed him that other way of being was possible. Before Bertolt picked his specialty, he met Theo Magath, a professor who recently had finished writing a book: “The Idea of Death in Liberio’s Ghetto in Marley During its War Against Eldia (Paradis)” (long-ass titles are historians specialty btw). After Magath ended his book’ presentation, Bertolt reached him. They talked for hours and finally, he felt inspired into pursuing his true passion. Magath gifted him “The Historian’s Craft” by Marc Bloch as a way to reminding him his way.

By the time Bertolt took History of Mentalities as optional class, he already had some basic notions about Les Annales, Lucien Febvre, Marc Bloch, Fernand Braudel, Jacques Le Goff and such.

Being the gentle giant he is, Bertolt finds joy in reading about different lifestyles in diverse cultures. He constantly wonders about the origin of social constructs and the way they shape thinking as much as identity.

This boy is a wonder, he might not be the best in oral presentations or extracurricular activities but sure as hell he’ll graduate with honors.

Annie Leonhart

Oral history, about institutions. Particularly, police and justice system in early XXs.

Albeit she got into the same University than Bertolt and Reiner, even shared classes and hopes, Annie regularly felt disconnected from her studies. With time she realized it wasn't due her career itself but rather because of the currents that her professors had suggested her taking. Until now.

Talking with Hitch and Marlow about their doubts concerning subjects and departments it came up the topics of history and present time but also oral history. She’d never heard something like that before. So, that very same week, Annie started searching for information about that.

She ended up with more questions: is it all of this just academic journalism? Or maybe sociology? When we can talk about regular history and when it starts being present time? If she introduces interviews due oral history, then that makes it an interdisciplinary work? Which are the best systems for analyzing data? Definitely, she’ll need help from anthropology and sociology departments if she wants to keep going.

Contrary to her initial prognostic, philosophy and history of historic writing became her new allies, and the text “Le temps présent et l'historiographie contemporaine” (Present Time and Contemporary Historiography) by Bédarida among others, provided Annie another perspective.

Regarding her favorite topics, she wouldn’t say that she selected them freely. They were just practical preferences. For institutions own extensive archives and numerous functionaries. One way or another, she ended up tangled in judicial system and police issues.

With new tools and object for studying, one could find Annie having a blast as detective too. Even if her academic essays focus on institutions’ history and configuration, she’s also working in corruption and more. She doesn’t do it because she believes it’s the right thing, but besides, the thrill of the tea is spicy. Although she won’t admit it.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirstein #marco bodt #sasha braus #connie springer #historia reiss #ymir #reiner braun #bertolt hoover #annie leonhart #modern au #college au

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welcome-to-green-hills · 4 years

Note

I’m sorry for bothering you this way, I just happened to see your ‘words of encouragement ask’ and was hoping this is maybe somewhere I could vent, even if it’s just to the void. I... am afraid to let anyone in. Ever. I get attached to people too quickly, like only after a few interactions, but I’m so afraid of rejection that I don’t reach out to try and deepen the connection at all. All my friendships are surface level, I never talk anything serious with anyone even when I really want to. (1/?)

I see you.

I hear you.

You are not bothering me.

This will not go unseen.

You , your entirety, is seen here.

I see you.

I am proud of you.

You are wonderful.

——————————(❤️❤️❤️)——————————

I do not mean to make this all about me when I express what I feel deep down. Just know... I know what you feel. I, too have been afraid to open up in the past. I, too, have felt that I—in no way nor how—should be worthy a sliver of a time of some. To be acknowledged. To be seen. To be loved. To be the mere thought of a person in passing.

Who would care?

Why would anyone want care?

When I received these messages in my inbox, I cried. I’m still a bit teary-eyed writing a response to this. It’s just me relating to you deep down, my own struggles that I have had in the past. I know exactly what you are thinking and feeling deep down. Those feelings of, “not being good enough” or “I am unworthy” are many, many things that I have had echoe in my mind for years. That I do not matter.

I know now that it’s not true.

When I was a kid, I remember having the ones that I dared to love get up and walk away. It was too much for them to love, they had to get up and walk away. If something didn’t click in their head, they were quick to take it out on others. I remember the day my father ran away. The very parental figure that I thought I needed to love told me flat out, “I like you, but this wasn’t what I wanted. It was a nice idea.” I wasn’t enough for him to be satisfied. He packed up his stuff—I was forced to help him pack up—told me not to tell my mom where he was running off to, then he drove away. This was on my ninth birthday. He took off North. I remember thinking that I didn’t make him happy. I wasn’t what he imagined.

My father wasn’t a man. He was something else. When he was around, he made everyone sick mentally and physically. He was quick to suck the very color out of anyone around him in order to feel good about himself. He was quick to judge and he was hurtful with feelings, as well as lie. When he left, I learned two things; who my people were and who I did not want to be when I was an adult. I could breathe again.

I will admit, it hurt to left people in, yes, but view it as this: these are examples given to you spiritually in who and what you aspire to be in life.

When I was a kid, I remember searching for answers on why I couldn’t connect with kids in class. I was afraid to interact with kids my own age. I was afraid to interact because I thought that they would not accept me as well. I didn’t have many friendships in the past as well, I had a speech impediment, as well as a hearing problem. I also have ASD. In the past, I’ve been told that I was very, very smart. However, since I needed more attention due to the past, not many gave me a chance. I’ve been told many times in the past that I’m too smart for them, that I’ve needed to dumb down more in order to be accepted from people. If I ever wanted to be something with people, I had to be something that I couldn’t.

Many famous celebrities and historical individuals have come out to say that they have a disability and/or heavily theorized to have a disability. You would not believe how many people have one and they’ve made revolutionary changes for the greater good. Look it up.

It hurt hearing friends—now they’re more like acquaintances—that I had to be a completely different person that I was. Something that I couldn’t be. I’ve been picked on before with troubled speech, with hearing problems, as well as coming from a single-parent background. To hear that if I wanted to be like them I had to be dumber, it felt wrong. Wouldn’t you want to be surrounded by people who want to help build you up?

If I was to be picked on and ridiculed for having a higher intelligence and skills than them, then why would I want to surround myself with them? That taught me three things; intelligence is only mocked by those that are not taught the value of it, friends should be the ones to build you up and not tear you down, ASD—Autism Spectrum Disorder—has been my “superhero power.” I love puzzles and patterns, it comes naturally to me. I’ve learned how to use that disability to my advantage. While they were still in Intensive classes, I was taking honors and getting awards for my work. Later on in life I’ve found a few friends along my journey that have loved and accepted me for who I am. They accept my luggages, my quirks, my entirety. They do not care because they see Me.

The moral here; it is okay to surround yourself with other people that want to build you up.

When I was younger and ready to go to college, I was accepted into one of the hardest schools to get into. It was a baby IVY League school, kinda like if IVY League school had its own “community college,” that’s what it would be. I was given a change to go to a school that I’ve always wanted to go to. The acceptance letter came, but I didn’t get farther than the entrance. I was sat down and made fun of for coming from a background with a low-income, as well as a learning disability. Forget about all of the hard work I’ve done in high school, forget the ridiculously high IQ—which I find ludicrous to even calculate with in life, forget about the science awards and the experience that I’ve had in life. I was told that my kind was never to be accepted.

I’ve been told that I was sub-par and that I would always be a behavioral problem with autism and no money. I would never amount for anything and that I needed to stop while I was ahead. I wasn’t going to get anywhere.

That was two years ago.

I now attend The University of Florida—one of the hardest schools to get into because it’s considered public IVY League—and I do summer classes at Yale. I’ve received a scholarship to attend both schools to get my degrees in Art History and in Anthropology. I have people looking at my work all the time and asking me questions. That’s a huge fucking accomplishment.

I didn’t get as far as I did accepting it, I just gave life the middle finger and kept on going.

I have more to my story, but this is just me scratching the surface of my life. I promise I have a point to this...

——————————(❤️❤️❤️)——————————

The past is not what should define you, the actions and experiences of what you go through now should me. You are still Becoming. You are a work of art that is still being mastered.

I am so, so proud of you for telling me what you think and feel inside. It was scary, but you did it. That is courage at it’s finest.

I will be the first person to tell you that being up to people is hella hard. Those experiences in the past reflect and scratch at the back of your mind, telling you that this will happen again. In the past, I have loved people before and they’ve vanished before my eyes. If then vanish, it is not because of you, it is because they do not know how to process it in their heart and in their mind. To repeat, it is not your fault. Most people need to take time to understandably things are the way they are. If they ignore you, then they are not worth Your time. Soon you will find the people that matter most to you, it just clicks.

You’ll find your missing piece once when the assurance of worthiness settles in your mind.

You, my dear and wonderful person, are worthy of wanting more.

You are worthy of having more.

You are allowed to Be more.

Take this time from past interactions to have a conversation with yourself on who and what you want to be. Who are you deep down? When can I meet her, him, them, it, xem, (f)aer, em, or hir? I can’t wait to meet You.

My blog is called “Welcome to Green Hills” for a reason. It welcomes in many so they can find that chance to be who and what they are. This blog is meant to help build you up and show you that you can be more. There is no greater force on this Earth more than you. I make it a point to tell everyone that I see them and that I hear them because I want to know that they are real.

You are here, you exist!

I see you.

I want you to know another thing; it is okay to care for people. Your emotions do not make you weak, it is of those who do not understand their own that makes them weak. Having emotion is what makes you human. It’s what helps you grow and become wiser. You start to look at possibilities that you’ve never known could exists in life. You can learn something new about yourself that you may have never noticed on your own. The people that you interact with in life can influence you. I’m speaking from my own experience.

I don’t know everyone’s experiences, I don’t know everyone’s story. I know my story. I know where I come from and what I want to be. I’ve worked hard to become a better version of myself. You are allowed, and worthy, of being loved, accepted, and seen.

We love to punish ourselves and think that we accept very little of what we are given in life. Human being unconsciously love to accept little to no value for themselves because they look to what other have told them. I know that this is a hard concept to hold firmly in your heart at the moment, but I want you to know that what others tell you is not true. You are allowed love and happiness. You are allowed to have worth. I promise. Start to think in terms of “I can” rather than “I can’t.” Start thinking in terms of “I am” rather than “I’m not.” You are allowed to be more. If people keep tearing you down, even with that feeling of lying on the ground feels fine, get back up. There will be people in life that want to push you down, and I will tell you, get back up and hold your head up high. There’s always another way, that’s the glory of the Universe.

You have worth.

You have value.

And you matter.

Stay safe, my friend.

#mystery anon #off topic #(Hugs)#I see you #I hear you #I’m happy that you’re here #positivity

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calliope-love-corner · 3 years

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Aftermath

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

It’s bright. That is my first thought. Bright, and pleasantly warm. My eyes flutter open, but I quickly cover them with my arm, shading them from the sun. I roll over onto my side and curl up tight, savoring the feeling of the breeze on my skin.

It’s over.

It comes back to me quickly, but I am not alarmed. I am too tired to sit up or cry any more than I already have. Too tired, dehydrated, hungry. My whole body hurts. I shove off my battered and bloody backpack, casting it aside. I take off my cracked glasses and roll onto my back, the dry, prickly grass beneath me as the best bedding I have felt in a long time. I crane my neck a bit and see the ruins of hilltop road- the old hilltop road- just behind me. I sigh and close my eyes.

Finally, I can rest.

As I drift off to sleep, the world around me can finally take a breath.

Soon after, the world begins to wake up. People like me, hurt and broken but very much alive, take their own rests. They sleep and they eat and they bathe away their suffering. Soon enough, the world does its very best to recover from hell.

Five days after it ends, I’m shaken awake by a stranger. Once again, my eyes slowly open. The face is friendly, though unfamiliar. It’s a burly man, who looks like he’s already had his sleep and his bath. He crouches next to me.

“Hi.” he gently greets. I grunt and slowly push myself off the ground, rubbing my eyes. “Do you remember your name?”

“Cal,” I yawn. “It… it’s really over, then.”

He nods, and sits next to me. “You remember everything, then?”

“Mm.” I lean back on my stiff arms and look up at the sky. “I missed sleep.”

He laughs. “I felt the same way.”

We sit in silence for a moment.

“How long has it been, then?” I finally ask. He checks his watch.

“131 hours, just about. Most people woke up on their own after a few days- as far as I know, people are grouping up and finding their way home.”

I let out a whistle. “That’s a new record for me, I think.”

He laughed again. “The people who’ve stuck around this area, we came from a slaughterhouse. It wasn’t pretty. D’ya remember where you were..?”

I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering the best way to explain to him how easy I’d had it.

“It’s… complicated.” I finally settle on. He nods.

“No pressure. Some people… are doing better than others. No one will blame you for keeping things to yourself.” He holds out a hand. “I’m D’Angelo, by the way.”

I shake it, not quite making eye contact. “Where are you from?” I ask.

“Ontario. You?”

“Oh. California, really, but I was in London when it all happened. You’re far from home.”

“Most of us are. I think there are a couple of other locals in our group if you’d like to come back with me? You seem pretty stable, so I’d understand if you wanna find your own way home.”

I think for a second.

“Maybe I’ll join you guys. Company sounds... nice.”

He smiles. “Good choice.”

After that, things start to feel quite dreamlike. I return with D’Angelo to a group of survivors. They’d set up camp at an intersection in town. Some were adjusting well, others would wake up in the night screaming. Despite everything, for the week I stayed with them, we felt like family. Only a third of us spoke English, but the language barrier wasn’t much of a problem. We stuck together all the same. I found myself comforting my companions in their panic attacks often. We cooked and ate together. We looked after each other. Those of us with stories to tell did so. We rode out the aftershock, and when a helicopter came around taking folks to London, I was sad to say goodbye.

When I got home, I knew where to go. I found Basira, Georgie, and Melanie at the ruins of the institute. I told them my side of the story, and they told me theirs. I grieved for Jon and for Martin and for Daisy and once more for everyone we lost along the way. Even though Basira and I never really got along well, we offered each other some comfort, with a shared experience of losing the person we cared for most. We went for coffee a few times. I’m proud to call her my friend.

I stayed with Georgie and Melanie for a few weeks. I cried to them about losing Annabelle. They told me it was the right thing to do for her. Melanie never liked that I was with her, but she cried for me, too.

My parents died shortly after it ended. I made my way back to the states as fast as I could and stayed with them and my brother their last few nights. They said they were proud of us. They’re in a better place now. I’m glad they got to see the world fixed.

My brother joined a clean-up team to help put things back together, to help restructure. When airports started functioning again, I went back to London. It’s where I belonged.

Some avatars still roam around. People tormented by the vast go their hands on Simon Fairchild pretty quick- the old bastard is easy to find in a crowd. He didn’t make it longer than a week before some revenge-hungry survivors came for him. Callum Brodie- the kid- went into intensive therapy. I worry for him often. Arthur Nolan died the same as Fairchild. I ended up meeting Oliver Banks when I came back to the ruins of the institute, which at that point was a fenced-off empty lot. I doubt anyone will build there again, not after what happened. He’s a nice guy- still sees the roots, but does his best not to think about it, apparently. He’s doing his best to adjust.

Like that, things returned to a sort of normal. Governments rebuilt themselves, people found ways to rebuild and keep busy, made their homes in communities, not unlike the one I was briefly in when the world had just come back. I hate to say it, but… the world feels better now. More tolerant. More understanding. Basira and I agree that the only way to move forward now is to accept the atrocities as things that you can’t change and focus on the good that became of everything.

I found work at a cafe two months in- the same one Annabelle and I went for coffee at so long ago. It reminds me of her. Many things do. I’ve cried over her many times since the end. But slowly, I’m healing. Every day is new, and I take it as best I can. I meet with the girls often- they’re the only real friends I have left, the only ones who really understand my perspective.

Penny- Annabelle’s spider- survived the end. She returned to normal size, tucked away in my backpack. I cried when I first saw her. I held her gently and sobbed. She was just a normal spider now. I set her up a nice, big enclosure in my new apartment. Took to taking care of animals like her- lizards and snakes and beetles and two rescue cats, which I named Cain and Abel.

Months slowly turned into a year. Life went on, just like she said it would. I took a few college courses, got my degree in anthropology- Tim always made it sound so interesting. Every morning I try and recreate Martin’s tea in a new way, but I’ve never quite got it right. Every night I read before bed instead of look at my phone- Jon always preached how bad that was for you. Every day I try new things and am kind to people with my whole heart, because Sasha was always so kind to me, and I want to pass that on.

Wherever the fears are now, they’re far away from us, and far away from anyone they’ve hurt. I’m okay with that.

<< Part 1

>> Part 3

#all part of the master plan 🕷💐🕸#theres more. stay tuned.#moving on hurts so im speedrunning it #f/o #fictional other #selfshi #selfshipping #a little creative touch #tma selfship

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what-big-teeth · 4 years

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Reveal (Cambion Boyfriend, pt. 1)

Gender Neutral Reader x Male Monster [Part 2] [Part 3] tw: mentions of alcohol ; kidnapping White rum, mint leaves, soda water, lime juice, and sugar… “Your mojito on the rocks. Enjoy!”

The middle-aged diner gives you a hearty thanks and slaps a fresh 20 dollar bill on the counter with a brown hand. He yells for you to keep the change over the noisy weekend crowd, and you’re more than happy to take the offer.

It’s another step closer to paying your way through graduate school.

At first, the idea of becoming a bartender after college didn’t sit well with your parents. Not because of the job choice, however. Your aunt’s popular mixology book collection is something they’re rather proud of. No, according to your folks, taking a long break from school could lead to you never going back.

They suggested taking out a few student loans to make ends meet. Live on campus to deal with a much lower residency fee. You agreed to staying in a dorm, but you couldn’t stomach being in near-perpetual debt for years to come. Very few people have gone through a higher educational career without incurring any debt. The odds of such a thing happening to you are astronomical. But damnit if you were at least going to try and curb whatever debt you could with your paychecks.

It helped that your place of employment was one of the more popular restaurants in town. Owned by a local, African-American family, Papa Ruben’s gained acclaim with time and great customer service. Hell, you were one of the diner’s loyal customers before Ben helped you land your job. Since starting, you’ve seen many familiar faces at the bar, but also just as many newcomers. Mostly family members joined by an undergrad or graduate student. And with the quick, accurate service you provide, many customers tip handsomely.

As you make a mental note to thank your aunt (who also served as your teacher), another rush of customers approach the barstools. All of them look at you expectantly, with the first customer who arrived dipping a pale hand into her purse.

You grin and flex your fingers.

Two gin and tonics; a round of tequila shots, four daiquiris, six red eyes, a sex on the beach. Change, bills, and even a few slips with scrawled phone numbers pile into your tip jar. The former is more important than the latter. More so as your heart is set on someone already. Too bad he wasn’t able to come tonight…

“I’ll take a Black Velvet in a Pilsner if you’ve got one.”

You pause from wiping down a cleaned, glass tumbler, perking up. There’s only one person you know who heavily favors such a drink.

A Black woman with deep brown skin leans onto the counter with her jacketed forearms. She shoves her thick natural hair—pulled back into a long braid— over her shoulder. Then grins.

“How’s my favorite barkeep?”

Her smile is infectious. “Holy shit, Jacqui? Is that you?!”

“The one and only,” she says. “Well, the one Jacqui that really matters.”

You chuckle, setting aside the tumbler. “I can’t believe you’re here in the flesh. I haven’t seen you in, what, four months?”

Her painted, red lips tremble and her smile falters.

“Five, actually.”

She goes quiet soon after and glances your way. For a moment, you think the odd light in her dark brown eyes is something akin to guilt. But it’s gone the next second, replaced by her usual confidence.

“But I’m back in town for a few days. You haven’t gone on break, have you?”

You shake your head, already knowing what she plans to ask.

“Got a minute to catch up?”

“For you? More than. Cass will be here soon to start her shift. When she comes, I’ll go on break.”

Jacqui plasters another grin on her face while you get to work on her drink. Once it’s ready, you set it in front of her on a coaster. Her hand quickly replaces yours as she takes a long sip.

“Thanks, babe. When it’s time, you know where to go.”

And with that, she slips off her barstool and past the bustling crowd gathering for more rounds.

This isn’t the first time Jacqui’s made herself at home at the restaurant. Mainly because she and Ben go back to their teenage years and he’s always had a soft spot for her. He treats her like the older sister he never had, mainly as all his elder siblings are boys. In turn, she treats him like a little brother.

It’s understandable; not having anyone around to claim you while growing up can get lonely. Ben will be just as pleased to see her, if he hasn’t already.

Cass arrives on time at a quarter ‘til nine, punctual as always. As she finishes tying her apron, she nods at you and effortlessly takes over once you finish making an appletini.

You squeeze past the busy wait staff and their large trays, waving at a few regulars who greet you by name. By the time you reach the break room, your stiff legs are crying out for relief. And you swiftly provide it by plopping down onto the old couch opposite the door.

The cushions are sunken and the fabric’s fading, but it’s part of Papa Ruben’s earlier days. The Moore family is wonderfully sentimental and this room is chock-full of older times. Photos of Papa Ruben himself, a younger snaggletoothed Ben and his two older brothers, their parents. There’s even a photo of a teenaged Jacqui surrounded by the Moore family.

Speaking of, the door opens, revealing Jacqui carrying a large sleeve of fries. She hops onto the couch next to you, offering some of her food. You snag four piping hot fries, juggling them between your hands.

“Courtesy of Ben?” you ask.

“Of course! My little bro always looks out for me.”

You lick your fingertips free of salt and ‘secret seasoning’ to cool the surface burns.

“Yeah,” you say. “Just like how the Moores would welcome you with open arms.”

She goes quiet, her expression turning neutral. She stares down at her food instead of replying.

“Whenever you visit, you always say you haven’t found a place to put down your roots,” you say. “What if that place is here with the Moores? With me and Cam?”

“It can’t be.” She places the still warm sleeve between the two of you. “I’ve done some stupid shit in the past, and it always find me when I let my guard down. I don’t want Ben, the Moores, Cam or you to get dragged into my mess. It’s something I have to deal with myself.”

You’ve had inklings about Jacqui’s rough past, but never any of the details. This is the closest she’s ever come to emphasizing just how bad things are. You try to think of a way to reason with her, but the break room’s door opens again.

Ben pokes his head inside, prompting Jacqui to slide a convincing smile onto her face.

“Here to offer me more free food?” she says with humor. “How sweet!”

“And have you eat my family out of house and home? No thanks,” he says.

You stifle a laugh, already used to their bickering. Ben rolls his eyes as Jacqui calls him a brat, opening the door fully while rubbing a golden brown hand over his bald head.

“To answer your question, someone’s here to see you. He rushed right over after I told him you were back in town.”

“You’re making it sound like I committed vehicular terror on the way over.”

A pleasant tingle runs down your spine at the familiar voice, in spite of the slight snark.

“With the way you drive,” Ben says, stepping out of the doorway, “Can it be anything else?”

“What’s that? You don’t want to bum another ride in the future?”

At that, Ben’s mouth snaps shut. You all know he’d rather enjoy some peace and space in a car not shared with his brothers. Cam steps through the doorway, chuckling.

“That’s what I thought.”

It doesn’t matter how many times you see him. Every time is new and comparable to that quiet moment during a movie night in college when you realized your feelings for him. A charming smile stretches the rich, golden brown skin of Can’s face and his thick lips as he steps past Ben.

Before you’re able to calm your pulse, Jacqui hops off the couch. You’re able to save her lukewarm fries before they fall over as she pulls Cam into a tight hug.

“Good luck dealing with her,” Ben says.

After reminding you of the end of your break, he heads out. Leaving you to watch Jacqui smack Cam on the back a few times while laughing.

“Look at you!” Jacqui pulls away from him, giving him a quick look over. “I see you decided to upgrade your fashion sense to show off your good looks. Finally. The red bomber jacket and Timbs look good, but the bottle coke glasses? Not so much.”

“Tell that to my eye doctor,” he says.

You watch as they fall into a seamless conversation, filled with snark and laughter. Jacqui even reaches up to playfully tug at one of the short dreadlocks on top of his head. As she comments on how well they pair with his fade haircut, a heavy weight forms in your stomach at the sight. They’re just friends and you know this without a doubt. But that doesn’t stop the bitter jealousy from welling up inside.

As if hearing your thoughts, Cam’s gaze finds yours and he smiles. His dark brown eyes make your stomach flutter in the best of ways.

“I-I thought you had a test to study for,” you manage to say.

“Still do,” Cam says. “But it’s kinda hard to think on an empty stomach. My brain needs some fuel and a break. Plus, I wanted to check on you since you mentioned tonight would be busy.”

Heat fills your cheeks as a small smile stretches your lips.

“Thanks,” you say. The light in Cam’s eyes grows soft.

Of course. We’re friends, after all.

”The moment between the two of you swiftly ends. Because that’s all you are. Just friends. You nod in reply, helping yourself to a few of Jacqui’s fries as she teases him about gunning for an anthropology degree. Cam just rolls his eyes at her before fishing his smartphone from his jacket.

“Order’s ready. I should get back to studying.” He glances up at you with a caring smile. “Let me know if you want to cancel tomorrow’s trip to the bakery. I’ll understand if you’re too tired—”

“I’ll be fine,” you quickly say, “promise.”

“Cool. Have a good night, and be safe on your way home.”

As Cam heads out with one last wave, a gentle tug pulls the now crumpled sleeve of cold fries from your hands. Jacqui lifts a brow at the food then you, giving you a knowing look.

“Oh honey.”

You stiffen. Your brain attempts to think of any excuse or denial, but falls short. You lean back against the couch, sighing in defeat.

“Am I really that obvious?”

“Sure, to Ben and me. But to Cam? Not so much, which is ridiculous. You haven’t tried kissing the living daylights out of him yet?”

“Jacqui.”

“What? It’s a legitimate question. You guys grew up together, lost contact, then reconnected in college. What’s the hold up?”

You purse your lips, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I don’t want to mess up things between us. Yeah, I may like him more as a friend, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

A gentle touch grips your shoulder.

“Sweetheart, you wouldn’t ruin anything by letting him know. Seriously.”

You just shake your head, attempting to give Jacqui a reassuring smile. The concerned light in her eyes tells you it falls horribly short.

“You should join us tomorrow morning after visiting the Moores,” you say, getting up. “Let me know if you want another Black Velvet, alright?”

You leave before Jacqui is able to get another word in.

The rest of your shift is busy, but uneventful. You accrue a huge amount of tips from pleased customers and more slips bearing phone numbers. You and Cass split the money based on the number of hours you both work. When she offers to take some of the number off your hands, you let her. The rest, you crumple and toss into the trash.

The doors to Papa Ruben’s closes at 11 PM sharp, with you, Cass, Ben, and the other staff members congratulating each other on a job immensely well done. After grabbing your belongings, you bid your co-workers a good night.

With the way your stiff legs are throbbing, you’re wishing you hadn’t parked down the way to avoid the early rush. You sigh with relief as your vehicle comes into view. Just a little bit more, and you’ll be on your way home.

You aren’t able to take another step.

The grip on your upper arm surprises you. It tightens to a painful vice and brings you to your knees.

Quick as lightning, another hand swiftly grabs the back of your neck, forcing your nose to the concrete.

“If you try and scream,” a feminine voice says, “that breath will be your last.”

There’s no hesitation in your assailant’s voice. Just a menacing promise laced with danger. You fight against your mounting fear and swallow audibly. Then go lax.

“Good.”

You barely hear the sound of shoes scraping against the sidewalk over your frantic pulse.

“Well?” an unfamiliar, male voice asks.

“You were right. This one’s got the pheromonal stink of a cambion on them. Strong, too.”

“Bear with it a bit longer.” You can hear a smile in the male’s voice. “It’ll be a scent relegated to your memories soon enough.”

One moment you hear shuffling. The next, your wrists are tightly bound together. A piece of cloth is forced past your teeth and tied tightly behind your neck.

Then, a sharp prick to your wrist. Your body seizes.

“Pleasant dreams,” the female voice mocks.

Black spots begin to overtake your vision as you’re lifted from the ground.

“Let’s go. We’ve got a trap to set.”

It’s the last thing you hear before everything goes dark.

#cambion boyfriend #monster boyfriend #monster romance #exophilia #terato #half demon #half-demon #this is the first time writing a gender neutral reader #so I hope it's okay #expect part 2 soon!

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heauxplesslydevoted · 4 years

Text

Heart to Heart

Missing scene from the latest chapter of The Nanny Affair. My MC comforts Sofia after being publicly embarrassed by her father. I hated that scene, and I hate that Sofia is such a one dimensional character.

Background MC (Luna Stafford) x Sam Dalton, but only if you tilt your head and squint.

Tags: @choices-lurker @paulfwesley @zodiacsign1 @thatysn @ermidc @badchoicesposts @senseofduties @canknot @drakewalker04

~v~

Luna can’t enjoy the fact that she’s drinking her salary in fancy champagne, enjoying a rooftop dinner with some of the richest people in the tri-state area. Any other day, this would be a dream come true, but in reality, she’s stuck in a nightmare.

For the past two hours, they’ve been forced to listen to Paolo make snide remarks on everything under the sun from her nannying skills to Sofia’s business acumen. Luna is not a fan of Paolo Russo. He seems like a miserable, stuffy old man whose only joy in life comes from whining and looking down on other people.

She casts a quick glance at Sam. The always poised and out together man looks as bored as she feels. His elbows are on the table, a finger lazily tracing the rim of his champagne flute. Gone are the manners and the fine dining etiquette that’s been drilled into him since infancy.

He looks up, sneaking a glance at her. An easy grin adorns his features as they lock eyes, and she quickly looks away, heat blooming on the apples of her cheeks. It’s rare that Sam is so unapologetic in his flirting with her, especially in the presence of his kids.

The sound of a knife hitting the stem of a champagne flute is all it takes to pull Luna out of her thoughts. Paolo is standing at the head of the table, waiting on everyone to watch him with rapt attention.

He clears his throat obnoxiously, “Ahem. Thank you all for coming to congratulate my beautiful daughter and her future husband on their upcoming nuptials.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Luna sees Sofia sit up a bit straighter, eagerly awaiting the praise she’s sure her father is going to heap onto her.

“Sofia has been run ragged at Russo Industries for far too long,” Paolo continues. “Now she can finally fulfill her purpose to become a wife and mother. After all, a woman in a position of power in the business world is like an unstable explosive, especially around that time of the month.” The older man turns toward Sam, hoping to get a co-sign on his speech. “Right, Sam?”

Luna clenches her fist tightly underneath the table. She can’t believe the unmitigated fall that his man has. “Did he really just say that?”

Sam turns to her with a mournful expression. “Unfortunately.”

Luna isn’t the only one at the table embarrassed by Paolo’s speech. Sam’s mother Vivian leans over to her husband, whispering harshly. “Mason honey, I thought you talked to him about this.”

“I tried, but you know how it goes with Paolo.”

Luna balks at the scene unfolding in front of her. So they all just let Paolo get away with talking like this? It’s just talk, that they all chalk up to Paolo just being Paolo?

Paolo, the arrogant man, is far too caught up in his own spiel to notice that they’re all openly horrified. He just keeps going. “...A family disarms the bomb! That’s why it’s called a biological clock.”

Luna wants to scream. She wants to hit something. She wants to do anything else but listen to this man continue on with his horribly misinformed and misogynistic speech.

“Finally we’re getting to the good stuff.”

“I predict a Sofia meltdown in three...two…”

The countdown doesn’t have to finish as Sofia all but slams her champagne flute down on the table. The noise startles Luna and she flinches slightly.

“I’ve heard this speech before. I don’t need to hear it again.”

Sofia scrambles, attempting to gather her belongings. Luna notices that her hands are slightly trembling and her eyes are glossy, tears threatening to spill.

Before she can stop herself, she’s opening her mouth, “Actually Paolo, men and women have the same brains. Neurologists have been searching for differences for years, but nothing ever turns up. And this society makes girls lesser than men, which is a gross assumption that’s pushed by men like you.”

The admonishment causes a faint blush to appear at Paolo’s neck. “And what does that have to do with my daughter’s role at Russo Industries?”

Luna shrugs. “Even I can tell she would make a great CEO. In fact, I bet you’ve already seen gains under her management.”

“My daughter’s abilities aren’t in question. It’s a matter of right and wrong. Women belong at home. It’s why you became a nanny, right?”

“Paolo, you are way out of line,” Sam says, his voice taking on an uncharacteristically gruff tone. “I won’t have you speaking to Luna like that.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Luna sees Sofia rush off, heading back into the country club, not sticking around for any more of the conversation.

“It’s fine, Sam,” Luna says. The last thing she wants to do is cause a confrontation. It’d raise too many questions. Why is Sam so quick to defend the nanny and not his own fiancée? “This conversation is done anyway.”

Pushing her seat back, Luna throws her napkin on the table and gets up, leaving behind an awkwardly silent dinner party.

Sofia is a very fast walker, but Luna manages to keep a decent pace behind her, her platinum blonde hair making her an easy target to follow. The older woman heads to the restroom, angrily pushing open the door. Luna weaves through patrons of the club and various waiters carrying trays until she reaches the bathroom as well.

Luna is instantly swept up in just how fancy this restroom is. The lighting is dim, it smells like eucalyptus and mint, there’s soft music playing, and she’s pretty sure the faucets are made of real gold.

It isn’t until she hears a sniffle coming from one of the stalls that she is reminded of the reason she entered the restroom in the first place. Taking a peek under the stall, she sees Sofia’s signature Louboutin heels.

“Sofia, I know you’re in there.”

“Go away,” Sofia orders. Her tone doesn’t have its usual bite or chill. Luna frowns at how small she sounds. “I don’t need you here to coddle me.”

“I can’t do that. My conscience won’t let me leave a sad woman crying in the restroom alone.”

“I’m not crying!”

“Sure you’re not. But my point remains, I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

A minute ticks by and Luna is met with silence. Sofia is just as stubborn as she anticipated, maybe even more so.

She leans against the marble countertop, careful to not lean against any wet spots. “If anyone knows how you feel, it would be me.”

More silence.

“I’m a black woman in STEM,” Luna continues, not waiting for a response. “I don’t know what it’s like in the business world, but if I got a dime for every time a man, and sometimes other women, told me to not pursue chemistry, I’d probably be able to afford your shoes.”

“Really?”

Luna smiles to herself. Sofia actually responded to her! She’s making progress! “Really. I was told to focus on nursing or a social science, like sociology or anthropology by multiple teachers, classmates and counselors. Not saying there’s anything wrong with those fields, I think they’re great, but that wasn’t the path for me. I’ve always loved chemistry. I’ve had the periodic table memorized since I was in 3rd grade. Thankfully I have parents that support my passion, because everyone isn’t so lucky.”

Sofia scoffs. “Got that right. I got my BA from Yale, I graduated summa cum laude and I went to Wharton for grad school, but let my dad tell it, I simply wasted 6 years and half a million dollars in tuition costs. Those degrees mean nothing to him because he’s the stereotypical, conservative and traditional Italian man. I’m not the correct sex or gender for him. In a perfect world, I’d be the perfect song but instead, I’m his fussy daughter. I’m not supposed to do anything other than get pregnant and cook, and how dare I want anything else out of life.”

“I say this with the utmost respect, but your father is a sexist jerk,” Luna deadpans. “You can yell at me for saying it, but I don’t regret it. And I’m shocked Russo Industries is still standing because I can only imagine the HR complaints and harassment lawsuits against your father over the years.”

“There’s no need to apologize because it’s the truth. My father doesn’t respect me. He doesn’t respect women at all. My mother was never allowed to have an opinion, and mine isn’t all that valued either.”

“I thought taking the initiative and getting engaged to Sam would make him respect me,” Sofia adds. “I wanted to do this in order to prove to him that I’m worthy. I thought he’d see that I’m a go-getter, and I’m ambitious, and I want the Russo family to thrive, but he doesn’t care about the business aspect of the merger like I do. He’s just glad I found a rich husband.”

Another bout of silence falls between the two women, but this time it’s not as awkward as before. it’s almost peaceful. Luna still hears the occasional sniffle, but she doesn’t call any attention to it. Crying is too vulnerable for Sofia to be open about.

“Besides, I don’t know if things will even pan out the way I want them to,” Sofia says. “The boys aren’t that fond of me, and Sam is just so...cold. I’m trying to make this a decent transition, and I’m trying to find out where I fit in that family dynamic, but it’s not working. He didn’t want me around for his birthday, he doesn’t respect my opinion on how to raise Mickey and Mason. More times than not, it feels like he’s counting down the minutes until he has to be in my presence anymore.” The stall door opens up and Sofia steps out. Her eyes are bloodshot and her nose is red and raw. Luna averts her gaze quickly, not wanting to draw too much attention to it.

“I don’t even know if this is worth it anymore. I’m exhausted, and I’m trying to sustain a relationship all by myself. Sam can barely sustain a conversation with me, and my dad isn’t impressed, so what’s the point? What am I doing this all for?”

Luna frowns. Sofia has always seemed so...bold and intimidating, like nothing ever rattled her. But looking underneath the perfectly put together surface, Sofia is just a woman trying to fight and claw for every inch of success, despite the lack of a support system.

“I meant what I said earlier,” Luna says. “I think you’re smart, and I think you’d make an excellent CEO of Russo Industries. And I don’t think you need Sam at your side to do so.”

That shocks Sofia. Her eyebrows shoot up past her hairline at the compliment. “You really think so? You have that much faith in me?”

Luna doesn’t know if she’s giving Sofia this advice because she truly believes in it, or if a selfish part of her wants the other woman to leave Sam alone, so they can finally be together. Her stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought, full of guilt. Does this count as manipulation?

She swallows thickly, pushing down whatever guilt is trying to bubble to the surface and nods. “I do. You don’t need a man to be successful and fulfilled. You don’t need your dad’s approval. And you don’t need to feed into the bullshit cycle of misogyny that your dad perpetuates.”

Sofia walks over to the sink and turns the faucet. After she splashes cool water on her face, she turns back to Luna. “Thank you, I guess. No one has ever talked to my dad the way you did, especially not in defense of me. And thank you for coming in here.”

“You’re welcome. Even the rich and powerful Sofia Russos of the world need 5 minutes to vent and cry.”

“Never mention to anyone that you’ve seen me like this,” Sofia orders sharply. No one, especially people in New York high society, can know that the ice queen herself shows emotion.

“What happens in the ladies’ room, stays in the ladies’ room. Scout’s honor.”

“Good.” Sofia sighs and straightens herself up. Luna watches the cool facade slip back into place as Sofia fixes her makeup and runs a brush through her hair. Sofia is back to being the poised, elegant woman everyone knows.

Once she’s done, she straightens out her clothes and heads to the door. Hesitating, Sofia lingers by the door. She turns back to Luna, her eyes softer than the younger woman has ever seen them. “You know what? Maybe I misjudged you. You aren’t as bad as I originally thought.”

A soft smile tugs on the corner of Luna’s mouth. “That’s high praise coming from you. I’ll take it.”

Without another word, Sofia sweeps out of the restroom, leaving Luna all alone, the sound of her heels clicking against the floors now an echo. With the presence of the other woman no longer stifling her, Luna lets out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding in.

She didn’t know what to expect coming in here to comfort Sofia, but now everything feels much more complicated.

#playchoices #choices: stories you play #the nanny affair #tna #sofia russo #sam dalton #pixelberry

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1129

[created by: youvebeensurved - LiveJournal]

How often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? I’ve actually never tried getting a drink from one of those fountains. I find them nasty, and the fact that gas stations aren’t the most hygienic of places certainly doesn’t help their case.

If you get online and look at graphics, what website(s) do you go to? I never find myself looking for graphics. The closest thing I search are vector icons, and for those I have an extension on Chrome that lets me look for icons to place on slides and such.

Who would you say your favorite celebrity is? At the moment it would be Rosamund Pike, but my all-time favorite would be Beyoncé.

Have you ever slept in your car? If so, explain. Sure, mostly when I took naps in between classes. There were also a few times I had late nights out and didn’t have a place to crash at, so I’d sleep in the car for the night before heading home in the morning.

If you were forced to murder one of your parents, which one would it be? This is a horrible question.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Find Me Here - Hayley Williams.

Explain your last run in with the police: Never happened.

Who was the last friend you hung out with, and what did you guys do? In terms of a physical get-together, I was with Angela, Hans, Pia, Kyelle, Al, Gab, and Sam and we had dinner and drinks at this gastropub that announced its impending permanent closure by the end of February. Virtually, I hung out with Andi, Peter, Carmel, Rita, Robin, Mik, and Elis to have a Jeopardy game night over Zoom.

What time do you usually go to bed and wake up? On weekdays I try to turn in anywhere between 9–11 PM and wake up by 6:30. On weekends, I try to stay up until midnight at the earliest, but I’m trying to make it a habit to stay up until like 2–3 AM just so I can catch up on my hobbies and shows. I wake up anywhere between 5–7 AM.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? What's stopping you? Lawyer, which is a route I seriously considered for a few years. I get extremely tense in arguments though so I doubt I’d be the best fit for that kind of career.

Do you have a friend that's in a horrible situation right now? Explain. Yeah, my college batchmate (who’s now also my co-worker) Aimee tested positive for COVID this week after being in and out of a fever over the last two weeks.

What was the last store you were in, and what did you buy? I suddenly needed plastic bags while I was packing groceries at the office the other week, so I went to the nearby convenience store to check if they had any. They didn’t, so I left without buying anything.

Who was the last person you texted, and what did this text say? I was texting some media friends to tell them some shoes we had ordered for them to try out are going to be delivered to their address within the day.

What is the reason for the last time you cried? A show I had been watching had an emotional scene.

Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Joanna, of course, mainly because that’s the character Audrey Hepburn plays.

What color did you last paint your nails? I can’t remember the color I chose the last time I had my nails painted 79472394348 years ago.

It's 112 degrees out today, describe your attire: A very thin tank top with airy shorts.

Do you have any friends that are currently in jail? Explain their situation. Not friends but I can think of a couple of relatives who’ve gotten ‘in conflict’ with the law. I won’t get into their cases but for both of them, it was because they got tricked by their respective abusive bosses, hence the quote marks.

Do you tend to take long or short surveys? I like taking those whose lengths are right in the middle - anywhere between 35-80 questions. Shorter ones look boring and I find the longer ones too time-consuming.

What do you currently desire? I changed my mind about La Creperie and will be going to Ramen Nagi instead since I just remembered they currently have a truffle ramen thing that’s only going to be around for a limited time, and I want to get my hands on it before they take it off the menu.

How often do you honk your horn? Depends on how stupid the people I’m driving with are on a given day.

For what reason were you last at a park? We don’t have too many parks here so there’s little opportunity to stay at one. I remember seeing one with Gab when we were at BGC a little over a year ago, but we only walked through it since it was part of the route we were taking to get to our actual destination.

What junk food can you never pass up? Salted egg chips and pizza.

If you're a girl, what is your favorite brand of feminine hygiene products? If you're a boy, what is your favorite brand of condoms? I don’t have a favorite.

Where was the last place you went on a walk to? Just around the neighborhood. I also wanted to make this morning’s route with Cooper a little longer so he could walk more, so we went to parts of the village we don’t normally reach.

How are you feeling today? I’m content :) It’s the weekend so I’m not too tense like I normally would be on weekdays. I also have plans to go out later today so I’m looking forward to that.

Do you ever make your own surveys? Never tried because I know I wouldn’t be able to come up with new and interesting questions.

How flexible are you? Not very. I can’t even reach my toes when I do stretches.

What is your favorite class? Any history elective. I also like biology, anthropology, and some aspects of political science.

What is your boyfriend's name? I don’t have one.

What is your favorite drink? Non-alcoholic, cold water. Alcoholic, Long Island Iced Tea for mixed drinks, and tequila.

Who is your best friend? Angela.

What time is it? 11:20 AM.

What is your middle name? My second name is Isabelle, but I’m not sharing my legal middle name.

What 3 websites do you visit daily? YouTube, Google Suite, and Twitter.

Where do you work? At home, haha. But under normal circumstances I’d be working in an office somewhere in Metro Manila.

What is your favorite band? Paramore.

How do you feel about abortion? Personally not a fan of the procedure for myself, but I am as pro-choice as it gets.

Do you want any kids? Very much so.

Have you ever microwaved soap? Nah, but I know what happens to it from watching YouTube videos hahaha. It’s so fun to see it gradually expand and become a pretty lil cloud.

Are there any new movies that you want to see? I Care A Lot, but I feel sooooooooo lazy about watching new movies. Idk if I’ll ever get around to it.

How many places have you lived? I’d say around five in total, including the house I currently reside in. I’ve lived in my parents’ apartment in Manila, then we briefly moved in with my dad’s parents, and then I spent most of my childhood in a duplex living with my mom’s side (and got to live in both houses), until we finally settled here when I was 10.

Do you have any health issues? Yeah, the main one I have to live with is scoliosis.

Are you texting anyone? Nope. And I don’t really text anymore, either. Most of my conversations take place on Messenger or Viber.

What do you drive? A Mitsubishi Mirage hatchback.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Sure, both male and female ones.

Are you drinking or eating anything? Nope but I am starting to feel a bit hungry.

What color is your shirt? Yellow with some grey text.

Do you drink? Like...alcohol? Sure. I have the occasional soju night.

What year do/did you graduate? I graduated high school in 2016, and college in 2020.

Do you play any sports? Table tennis, though it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to play. I got to take it as a PE elective on my last sem, but my time with it got cut off because of COVID :(

Do you pop your fingers? Yeah, I just cracked my knuckles a few minutes ago.

What is your shoe size? I can wear a size 6 or 7.

Have you ever had a UTI? Apparently I’ve had one, but all I got from it was a persisting high fever. I didn’t actually have any difficulties or felt pain in my urinary tract, though of course I felt scared to pee during that time because I thought it would hurt lol.

What was the last thing you baked? Cookies. A lifetime ago, since I don’t normally bake.

When was the last time you showered? Yesterday afternoon when I was finally able to clock out of work.

Would you rather go to the dentist or the doctor? Dentist. I actually find the procedures soothing. There’s a whole lot of issues that can be unpacked when you visit doctors, so I’m kinda scared of that.

Have you ever been in love? Yes. I miss the feeling and being able to act on it, but I’m liking being with myself too.

How do you feel about public speaking? I’m ok with it for the most part. I know I can speak well and generally have a good hold of my thoughts, so I don’t mind if I have to do it unless I have to talk about something I’m greatly unfamiliar with, like insurance or economics lmao. The latter situation is the only time I’d feel unprepared or scared of public speaking.

Do you see anything green? Yeah, since we have artificial plant accents on the coffee table.

What shoes do you usually wear? Sneakers or running shoes.

Do you take any birth control? Nope.

Who is the last person you talked to? My sister; I just asked her to turn the volume down on the TV.

Are there any fast food restaurants that you refuse to eat at? Just Tokyo Tokyo. I can take or leave Burger King but for the most part I find their burgers too plain.

Do you recycle? Whenever I can, yeah.

Do you know what you want to major in in college? I wanted to take up journalism. I suppose I don’t regret it, since I ended up wanting to be in a field that’s close enough to it anyway and I don’t feel like the skills I learned went to waste.

Have you ever snuck anyone in your room? Nah, I always let my mom know if I’m letting someone over since she doesn’t knock and would find out anyway.

Who was the last person in your bed besides you? Gabie.

Have you ever been in the hospital? Other than when I was born, yeah, at least once.

What's the last movie you watched? I watched Midsommar with Nina and some cousins last Christmas lol. We unknowingly downloaded the Director’s Cut, which we found out wasn’t as good as the main version since they added cheesy scenes to it, which ruined the suspenseful mood of the movie.

What's your favorite fruit? Avocado.

What do your bathroom walls look like? The bottom half has coral-ish tiles, while the top half is just a plain white wall. In the downstairs bathroom the setup is the same, but instead of coral tiles we have light blue wall tiles instead on the bottom half.

What do you spend most of your money on? At the moment, most of the money that I do take out of my account is the money I give to my parents every couple of weeks to help out with the bills. The next main thing I spend on is food, because I always have cravings I need satisfied haha.

Do you have any weird obsessions? Reading about serial killers and unsolved crimes isn’t really considered ‘weird’ anymore since a lot of other people have taken up the interest. But that’s probably the most out-there ~obsession that I have.

Do you bite your nails? I do but not obsessively.

What's the last color you dyed your hair? I’ve never tried dyeing my hair yet.

How do you feel about mustaches? Not my personal preference, but you do you.

Is there anyone that you really want to see in concert? Beyonceeeeeeeeeeeeee.

#survey #surveys

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luna-the-moth · 3 years

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Obey Me! Headcanon Game

Soo...I found this through a discord channel, so let’s get to it shall we? (Prepare to read a long ass questionnaire)

OG link (Credit to cerise_noire8 on Twitter)

(Made on Picrew)

1 • What is your MC’s name? What is their name origin? What does it mean (if it ever has a meaning).

Ayano Miasako. Not any explanation for that yet. Her mentor, Cleo calls her “Aya” Nickname in the mafia was “Silver”

2. When is their birthday? How old are they? What about their zodiac sign? (bonus point if you give their rising or even their birth/natal chart)

February 23 23-25. Capricorn

3. What is your MC’s gender? And what are their sexual/romantic preferences?

Female. Bisexual

4. What is your MC’s race? (human, demon, angel, other). If human, what are their nationality and origins?

Ayano’s human with a relation as Lilith’s descendant. Ayano’s half Japanese/Korean. She was born in Kyoto and was raised in the mafia.

5. Before coming to Devildom, what was their occupation? (job, studies...)

She was a mafioso until age 20, when she left. As a compensation for leaving, she has to wire the boss a certain amount of money per year. Ayano has a penthouse in Tokyo with her cat, Luci. She now works as a business tycoon, and wins most of her money from gambling and business investments. Ayano has a degree in anthropology and psychology

Ayano in the Mafia

6 • Height? Weight? Describe their body type.

Ayano’s 5’6 (167cm). She’s around 140 lbs or 64kg. Ayano has a medium-large bust, an hourglass figure, and decent sized ass

7. Who is/are your MC’s love interest(s) (if they ever have one). Summarise their dynamic.

Mammon, her protective Tsundere. Or Satan, the sly and intelligent bookworm trying to find his true self. She’s the ultimate tease to Mammon, knowing he likes her but is waiting for him to make a move. Mammon ends up flustered. She and Satan try to out-flirt each other with cheesy pickup lines and are often seen sitting next to each other in a loveseat, with tea and a good book. Satan calls her kitten, Ayano calls him her knight in shining armor (jokingly.) Mammon calls her “my lucky charm” Ayano calls him “blackjack,” but prefers calling all the boys by their names.

8 • Does your MC have any specific appearance features? (Scars, marks, anything else)

Ayano has various scars from her time in the mafia. She has 2 prominent stab wounds on her upper back from a betrayal. A yakuza tatoo on her hip. Plus a medium slash scar on her stomach. She got two black feathered wing tattoos on them to represent her freedom from the mafia. Ayano has heterochromatic eyes, left green, right purple. Usually wears a green contact over the purple to hide it. She also has distaichis (double lash layers). Jet black, waist length hair, pale-snow white skin. She usually sports this outfit

Wears a new type of nail art every 1-2 weeks depending on her mood. Lovesss jewelry

9 • Does your MC have any disabilities? (physical, mental health, etc). How do they deal with it?

Depression and anxiety. Solution: do a Lucifer and does anything and everything to keep her mind occupied. She also makes friends with cheerful people

10 • How do you imagine your MC’s voice? Describe it.

Medium pitch, smooth, lulling voice. Has a slight new york accent even though she’s never been there (taught by Cleo) Mostly formal in public and swears every so often. (she refrains from doing so around Luke). Her singing voice is very powerful, has a wide range of pitches, and can enchant many.

11 • Does your MC have any tattoos or piercings? Just tell us more about it!

2 black wings on her stab wounds on her back. A yakuza tattoo on her hip. A normal piercing on both ears with a few helix piercings as well

12 • Describe their clothing style (if they have a favorite style). Do they have specific accessories?

Bonus question: how do they wear RAD uniform?

Ayano’s fashion style is fashionista, dark fashionista, occasionally gothic/elegant lolita. Loves leather and silver. She often wears a silver necklace gifted (stolen?) from her mentor, with her mother’s silver ring hanging from it. Fingerless, black leather gloves. Usually wears a ring on her right hand, middle finger. Ayano wears the RAD uniform properly, with a red tie, black jeggings, and thigh-high black boots.

The redesigned RAD uniform

13 • Is your MC able to use magic? If so, are they skilled? How do they learn? Were they able to use it before coming to Devildom?

Yes, when she came to the Devildom, Solomon decided to teach her to hone her skills. In the human world, when really pissed, light bulbs would burst in her presence. Ayano learns quickly, so yes, she became skilled in a small time frame. She’s fond of enchanted jewelry (because they are pretty and have practicality)

14 • Describe your MC’s parents (names, jobs, personalities). Do they have any siblings? What is their relationship with their family?

Ayano’s mother, Kyoko (japanese) was dead while Ayano was very young. Her real father is unknown besides the fact that he was a ‘korean bastard’ from her stepfather. She despises her step father (the feeling’s mutual) and ran away from home at age 13. Ayano has an older (3-4) brother. At age 20, they reconnected and have a good, stable relationship.

15 • How many language do they speak? Which ones?

Ayano can read/speak: Japanese, English, Korean, Latin, Spanish, and French

16 • What is their relationship with each brothers?

Lucifer - fondness, cautious, interest - mixed feelings. Ayano isn’t fond of some of his methods, but recognizes his change throughout the program. She thinks he cares a lot for his brothers and respects that. Lucifer is glad that Ayano is well-mannered and courteous, but is suspicious on her relations to Solomon. Although she’ll never admit it, sometimes Ayano goes into his study with tea and a light dessert for him.

Mammon - Affectionate, loving, warmth, protectiveness. Ayano thinks Mammon as someone very dear to her, so she is protective of him. He’s a possible love interest, and Ayano likes teasing and flirting when he shows his Tsundere side. Mammon thinks that she’s his lucky charm, and loves bringing her to the casino with him, to show off, and to brag. He always becomes flustered when she teases him, but revels in it.

Levi - Ayano thinks Levi should have more confidence, and is gentle with him. Playing rpg or strategy games with him is a pastime of Ayano’s, Levi is slightly scared of her skills in that aspect. Since Ayano can also mimic voices well, he begs her to make Ruri-chan impersonations and such.

Asmo - Fun, flirty, and thrilling. At first, Ayano thought he was a narcissistic, vain bastard. Which is partially true tbh. When she started doing various makeup looks, that’s when Asmo started to bond with her. The two love messing with various skincare, haircare, makeup, and fashion items. On Fridays, they have a self-care night, with Mammon occasionally bursting in.

Satan- Was suspicious of him, noticing his mask and seeing through it right away. After noting that he is lost inside, she warms up to him and bonds with him over her cat, Luci, tea, and their shared love of crime novels. Satan was also suspicious of her at the beginning, but after she warmed up to them and slowly started revealing herself, they gradually started drifting closer. They can sometimes be seen reading together with tea and biscuits.

Bee l- Ayano absolutely adores Beel. She thinks of him as a giant teddy bear and knew he was genuine from the start. Ayano stress-bakes and experiments with recipes from time to time, and asks Beel to taste test them. Beel was glad she apologized and started warming up to her after the custard incident. He loves her baking, and is fond of her, as they take a jog/work out together sometimes.

Belphie - Complicated. She doesn’t care for Belphie. Yes, she wanted to free him, only because she hates feeling trapped as well and disliked Lucifer’s choice of punishment. The fact he changed so quickly after finding out about Lilith made her dislike him even more. However for the boys’ sake, she is cordial to him. Belphie just *wants her to like him dammit*

17 • What is their relationship with each side characters?

Diavolo- Ayano likes Diavolo, not only is he a powerful ruler, he is a right and just one as well. Sometimes, if he asks, she’ll sing human world songs to him during tea with Barbatos. Ayano thinks of him as a kind man with *so many goddam secrets hidden inside.* Diavolo likes that Ayano entertains him on the human world, and is well-mannered and playful. He’s very interested on trying various exotic human world recipes as well.

Luke- She thinks of Luke as a chihuahua, or a little kid. Harmless and adorable. Ayano likes teasing Luke and baking sweets with him. He thinks of her as an older sister, and loves having her attention.

Solomon - During her time in the mafia, around age 20, she went and stopped by an under-hyped bar. She was really pissed that day, as one of her subordinates almost had everyone killed. So, she decided to buy some whiskey and find a hookup to relieve stress. After flirting and chatting with Solomon for an hour or so, they went back to her place.....In the morning, she woke up a bit early, slightly nauseous, but mostly ok. Solomon was still asleep at the time. After preparing some korean hangover soup, she went back to her room, only to find a signed note and Solomon's number. Ayano and Solomon are pretty much friends with benefits. They’re playful and mischievous, and sometimes stop by each other’s rooms at night for-...Anyways, Ayano has taken for Solomon and would do it again. Solomon thinks Ayano as an admirable person and interesting, so he sticks by her. You can see them at a casino, getting drinks, and watching Ayano’s insane luck wins her her hundreds of thousand at the end of the night.

Simeon- Ayano doesn’t trust Simeon, as he doesn’t really seem like an angel and is shady. After the play and seeing him being ruthless, she distances herself even more from him. Simeon wishes she would be closer with him, but is glad that Luke bonds with her.

Barbatos- You cannot convince her otherwise that Barbatos is not Sebastian Michaelis’ twin Oftentimes, she will help him around the kitchen or garden,, enjoying his company. Barbatos is glad that Ayano can help out, but keeps an eye on her due to her past. Very relieved she has good manners in public though. They both teach Luke to bake sweets, and are protective over him.

18 • What is your MC’s main hobbies and passions?

Hobbies: Reading, throwing knives, composing/listening/singing music, baking, food tasting, playing with cats, drinking wine, sketching/painting, gambling, and gardening. She is obsessed with Cerberus, and loves taking him for walks.

19 • Why do they ended up in Devildom in the first place? What happened to them?

Ayano made a deal with a business man (Barbatos) to go to Siberia for a year in order to make a demonology/mythology film, she was supposed to travel to Siberia when she fell asleep on the plane, to wake up in RAD. This isn’t too weird from what she’s experienced before, so she thought it would be an interesting and worthwhile experience. After all, she can’t really fight back against demons, so acceptance is the only option.

20 • What is your MC’s MBTI type?

Unknown. Ayano is more of a quiet extrovert. A great people person, but seems a tad cool and aloof at first. She’s very polite and all, but never let’s people in due to trust issues. Very perceptive and emotionally intelligent. Ayano was able to pick up on the boys’ true colors within a short time span. Is very intelligent and can offer worthwhile theories and conversations. To the people she loves, she is most like a lazy cat, affectionate, playful, and teasing.

21 • Do they have pact with each bro? Do they often use their pacts? In which situations?

Has pacts with all the brothers except for Belphegor. She cares for the brothers, and refuses to use the pacts in any way, shape, or form.

22 • What is their favorite place in Devildom?

Madam Screams, the royal library, the roof of the HoL, or the beach Diavolo made.

23 • Which sin fit them the most?

Wrath, she’s very much like Satan

24 • Describe their personality.

Constantly tries to analyze a person's every move. Keeps a polite mask on. She tries her best to stay calm in most situations and to find a way out. However, she is incredibly sadistic to people who have wronged her, preferring to use psychological torture. Often uses dark humor and keeps a knowing smile on her face. Tries to find a logical solution to every problem and is melodramatic around the people she cares about. She will tease you to oblivion and is a very playful character when you get to know her. Much like a cat, she is affectionate and likes to play around, sometimes flirtatious. She’s a total sweetheart when you get to truly know her though. Ayano however, is also very reasonable and knows when she's fucked up. For example, when Beel freaked out over the custard. She ordered 20 cups of custard from Madam Scream's that night for the next day. Ayano then presented it to him the next afternoon, offering her sincerest apologies. When she trusts someone, they have her absolute loyalty. She will guard their lives with hers and would take a bullet for them If they break her trust tho, they're pretty much dead to her and even though she is polite to them, they will never be close with her again. When she falls for someone, she falls hard. Loyalty is of upmost importance to Ayano.

25 • What is their moral alignment?

Chaotic Neutral. Ayano doesn’t really follow the law, but has a clear set of morals and a bottom line.

26 • Does your MC possess an object/something especially dear to their heart?

A silver necklace from her mentor, with a silver ring that belonged to her mother hanging from it.

27 • Which character(s) do they consider as their best friend(s)?

Solomon, Satan, and Mammon.

28 • Choose a song that fits your MC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4eaMfUtynM&list=RDMM&index=29

Dirty by Grandson

29 • What are your MC’s religious beliefs?

Agnostic, she thought something was out there. Hell though, was a surprise.

30 • Describe what is inside your MC’s school bag.

Books, sketchpad, pencils, pens, textbooks, compact mirror, and a switchblade - just in case

31 • Describe their appearance (pic refs are ofc allowed).

Snow-pale skin. She has jet black, waist length slightly wavy hair in a side part, heterachromatic eyes - left green right purple. Wears a green contact over the purple in public. 5’6 or 168 cm tall. medium bust and hourglass figure with multiple miscellaneous scars on her legs and arms (7-8) from bullet/stab wounds. 2 prominent stab wounds on her lower back. 5'8.

22 • What is your MC’s greatest fear?

Losing another person she cares about, surprisingly enough, she gets attached faster than one would think.

33 • Is your MC Lilith’s descendant? If yes, how did they react when they learn about it?

Yes, tbh Ayano wasn’t surprised. If Lilith lived that long ago, than ⅓ of the population are her descendants. What makes her so special?

34 • Do they have a pet/animal?

Yes, a calico cat with blue eyes named Luci, 4 years old.

35 • What are their grades like? (In Devildom)

Top 5 students in class. Usually second or third to Satan and Lucifer. Ayano absorbs knowledge pretty easily, and can also read a book fast. Is also a very helpful tutor. Describes and explains material in a brief manner.

36 • Do you think they have any other friends in Devildom aside the characters game? Or do they just stay with them?

Her mentor Cleo turned out to be a witch! So sleepovers, spa days, and movie binges with each other are a must! Also, Mephistopheles is a drinking partner from time to time. Don’t forget Solomon, who Ayano goes to for....stress relief.

37 • What is their favourite food?

Takoyaki, basically fried dough with octopus tentacles. Or Korean BBQ. Is obsessed with sweet and sour combos

38 • Do they have any specific talent? (artistic, random fact, etc)

She’s an artistic person, knowing what angles to take pics and lovesss sketching the boys. Baking is a stress thing, reading with tea is a pastime of hers. Likes trying out different nail art every week or so. Gardening or tending to plants is a must.

39 • Who is the person they rely on when not feeling well?

Cleo, she’s been Ayano’s mentor since age 13. The only one who knows her full, true self. A girl’s day out will ensue, or a girl’s day in, depending on what Ayano wants.

40 • How did they decorate their bedroom in the House of Lamentations? I mean, the game’s MC bedroom is cool but we all know it need customisation. If your MC does not live with the bros, just describe their bedroom.

She completely redecorated the room with Cleo’s help. Absolutely hated the OG design.

Ayano’s Human world flat : https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/301-E-61st-St-19A-New-York-NY-10065/300195837_zpid/

41 • Are they a heavy or light sleeper? How many hours of sleep do they get? Do they have insomnia or do they fall asleep easily? Just describe your MC's sleep habits.

Ayano’s a light sleeper, because in the mafia, she had to be up at any given moment. Usually 6 hours of sleep. She has insomnia, and sleeps at like 12 am or 1 pm. Usually wakes up at 6am, every day. Can sleep at any given moment though. She’s a female Lucifer in that sense

42 • What is your MC's Devilgram username?

@Silver_Aya

43 • Does your MC have a part-time job during the exchange? If yes, where in Devildom?

Yes. Well not really, does investing in stocks and gambling count? By the end of week 2 in the Devildom, she has 10 million grimm in her account.

44 • How do they deal with the exchange program at first? Do they adapt easily in Devildom? Was it hard for them to be far away from the human world? Were they excited of in panic?

Ayano just went with the flow. It’s a whole new realm, how could she not be excited? Asks Cleo to show her around. It takes a week or two to fully adapt to the Devildom. She missed her cat, but luckily Cleo told her she was taking care of Luci at her human world flat. Kinda hated the fact that the HoL was full of 7 guys, but is in close contact with Cleo. The first night, she asked to go to a casino with Mammon and went from 250,000 grimm, to 1,000,000 grimm on her card.

45 • Do your MC’s relatives/friends know they are in Devildom? How do they deal with their absence? Tbh I’m just wondering what is happening during the exchange program since in the game, MC didn’t really choose to be there.

Well, everyone knew Ayano would be gone for a year, so they carried on fine. Her brother missed her expertise, but knew she’d be fine. Cleo brings her bills and contracts to finish up in the human world, and has hired a cleaner to come in once a month.

46 • How do they feel when they have to leave Devildom for the first time after their first one year exchange? Did they just return to the occupation they had before the exchange program? Did this experience change them? (Sorry these questions are more for human MC)

Ayano misses everyone terribly, and calls and texts everyone once or twice every week to update. She keeps in contact with Solomon to continue her magic lessons. Ayano just goes back to Japan like everything’s normal. Diavolo had a movie made during her time in the Devildom on some random mythology, which turned out to be a box office sensation. Everything is pretty much the same.

47 • Describe your MC’s D.D.D: phone case, wallpaper…

A neutral toned, light phone case with lotus flowers and lily pads. Her lock screen is a white/cream rose. Ayano’s wallpaper is her posing with Luci, her calico cat with blue eyes. Ayano’s kissing Luci’s nose in the picture. Her lock screen is a

48 • How do they react to praise? How do they react to criticism?

Says “thank you” or some variation of that from a stranger. If it’s an acquaintance, same. If it’s a friend, a thank you and a genuine smile. A close friend, a hug and thanks with a compliment thrown back. A lover, kisses and cuddles. Cleo, ‘awww, so sweet from someone so deadly’.

To strangers: shoots the criticism back in twice the snippiness if they’re being rude. If it’s constructive criticism, she’ll respect that. Acquaintances, again, same as above. Friends:depends if it’s in a teasing manner. If so, she’ll tease back, if it’s rude and uncalled for, she’ll tell them. Close friends: will be fine with teasing and will tease back. Will accept actual criticism if it’s constructive, will ask why they said so if it’s rude. Lover: WIll TEASE BACK WITH TICKLES. If it’s an actual criticism, she’ll take that into account and embrace it. Cleo: will jab back with an embarrassing story. If it’s real, will change if it’s reasonable

49 • What is their future goal? (it could be their actual goal [dont forget the tw spoiler], their dream job, any other wish they want for the future)

To have a happy family, in a nice home. Also to make others happy and inspire them. She already has her dream job, so a S/O would be perfect for Ayano to balance her out.

50 • Describe their perfume/scent.

Her perfume smells like spices, nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, and vanilla in particular. Her shampoo/conditioner, and body wash give her hints of oat milk and ginger, coffee and coconut. Cleo and Satan would say she smells like a cafe.

51 • Did they ever commit a crime or have been arrested?

Yes, she’s been in the mafia, meaning she’s killed, stolen, and broken into houses.

52 • (A bit TW??) Do they smoke? Do they drink?

An occasional Mexican cigar. She likes wine and whiskey in particular. Doesn’t get drunk too often. At most she gets tipsy.

53 • Do they play a musical instrument?

Piano, violin, guitar, and bass

54 • How do they see themselves? How do they want to be seen by others?

Ayano sees herself as a horrible person. Being in the mafia, she’s done and seen horrifying things. She wishes to one day be able to see redemption in herself, that’s why she donates to charity and volunteers often. She wants to be seen as approachable and kind to others, albeit one not to mess with. Ayano dreams to be an inspiration for young children, showing that you can come up from nothing.

55 • What was your MC like as a child? Did they have a happy childhood?

Ayano grew up in an abusive household. Her father blamed her for her mother’s death, when in reality, he shot her while drunk and blamed Ayano as a coping method. Her brother was kept away from her, so he barely knew her. Ayano didn’t even know he remembered her at all. When she ran away at 13, she lived on the streets for some time, stealing food and clothing. Sometimes a kind person would give her some money or food, but most walked by or looked at her in disgust. One day, she managed to steal a silver necklace from her future mentor, Cleo. Cleo was a mafia boss’ daughter, and was impressed that Ayano could steal from her at all. After begging and persuasion, her father let Ayano join the mafia as her apprentice.

56 • Would they prefer to live forever in Devildom or come back/live in the human world?

Ayano would most likely try and find a way to become immortal, in order to live in the Devildom. The brothers and undateables are her family pretty much. She’d ask Cleo if Luci can be brought down and made immortal as well.

57 • Did they ever get the chance to visit the Celestial realm? If so, what do they think about it? Did they meet Michael? (Ofc it’s your personal hc since Michael never appeared in the game)

Yes, after much begging and pleading from Luke, Simeon reluctantly agreed to let her into the Celestial Realm. She loves the food ofc, especially the fruit. She never met Michael because he was “on a business trip.”

58 • Do the pact marks appear on their skin? If yes, where are they? What do they look like?

Yes, they appear on her skin, only when she uses her pact though, as Solomon told her. They have not been seen as of now….

59 • What is your MC’s favorite music genre? Do they have any favorite band/singer? Favorite song?

Ayano likes to listen to classical, indie rock, rap, and some pop. She’s fond of Frank Sinatra, James Arthur, and NF. There are like 20 songs Ayano would consider her ‘favorite’

60 • Choose 4 pics that fit your MC’s aesthetic. (I chose 6 bc why not?)

#ayano miasako #ayano #cleo #obey me #headcanons #questionnaire #aesthetic

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blackkudos · 4 years

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Tracy Chapman

Tracy Chapman (born March 30, 1964) is an American singer-songwriter, known for her hits "Fast Car" and "Give Me One Reason", along with other singles "Talkin' 'bout a Revolution", "Baby Can I Hold You", "Crossroads", "New Beginning", and "Telling Stories". She is a multi-platinum and four-time Grammy Award–winning artist.

Chapman was signed to Elektra Records by Bob Krasnow in 1987. The following year she released her critically acclaimed debut album Tracy Chapman, which became a multi-platinum worldwide hit. The album earned Chapman six Grammy Award nominations, including Album of the Year, three of which she won, including Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for her single "Fast Car", and Best New Artist. Chapman released her second album Crossroads the following year, which garnered her an additional Grammy nomination. Since then, Chapman has experienced further success with six more studio albums, which include her multi-platinum fourth album New Beginning, for which she won a fourth Grammy Award, for Best Rock Song, for its lead single "Give Me One Reason". Chapman's most recent album is Our Bright Future, released in 2008.

Early life

Chapman was born in Cleveland, Ohio. Her parents divorced when she was four years of age. She was raised by her mother, who bought her music-loving three-year-old daughter a ukulele despite having little money. Chapman began playing the guitar and writing songs at age eight. She says that she may have been first inspired to play the guitar by the television show Hee Haw. Chapman's family received welfare. In her native Cleveland, school desegregation efforts led to racial unrest and even riots; Chapman has stated that she experienced frequent bullying and racially motivated assaults as a child.

Raised as a Baptist, Chapman attended an Episcopal high school and was accepted into the program A Better Chance, which sponsors students at college preparatory high schools away from their home community. She graduated from Wooster School in Connecticut, then attended Tufts University, graduating with a B.A. degree in Anthropology and African studies.

Career

Chapman made her major-stage debut as an opening act for women's music pioneer Linda Tillery at Boston's Strand Theater on May 3, 1985. Another Tufts student, Brian Koppelman, heard Chapman playing and brought her to the attention of his father, Charles Koppelman. Koppelman, who ran SBK Publishing, signed Chapman in 1986. After Chapman graduated from Tufts in 1987, he helped her to sign a contract with Elektra Records.

At Elektra, she released Tracy Chapman (1988). The album was critically acclaimed, and she began touring and building a fanbase. "Fast Car" began its rise on the U.S. charts soon after she performed it at the televised Nelson Mandela 70th Birthday Tribute concert in June 1988; it became a number 6 pop hit on the Billboard Hot 100 for the week ending August 27, 1988. Rolling Stone ranked the song number 167 on their 2010 list of "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time". It is the highest-ranking song on the Rolling Stone list that was both written and performed by a female performer. "Talkin' 'bout a Revolution", the follow-up to Fast Car, charted at number 75 and was followed by "Baby Can I Hold You", which peaked at number 48. The album sold well, going multi-platinum and winning three Grammy Awards, including an honor for Chapman as Best New Artist. Later in 1988, Chapman was a featured performer on the worldwide Amnesty International Human Rights Now! Tour.

Chapman's follow-up album, Crossroads (1989), was less commercially successful than her debut had been, but it still achieved platinum status. By 1992's Matters of the Heart, Chapman was playing to a small but devoted audience. Her fourth album, New Beginning (1995), proved successful, selling over three million copies in the U.S. The album included the hit single "Give Me One Reason", which won the 1997 Grammy for Best Rock Song and became Chapman's most successful single to date, peaking at Number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100. Following a four-year hiatus, her fifth album, Telling Stories, was released in 2000. Its hit single, "Telling Stories", received heavy airplay on European radio stations and on Adult Alternative and Hot AC stations in the United States. Chapman toured Europe and the United States in 2003 in support of her sixth album, Let It Rain (2002).

To support her seventh studio album, Where You Live (2005), Chapman toured major U.S. cities in October and toured Europe over the remainder of the year. The "Where You Live" tour was extended into 2006; the 28-date European tour featured summer concerts in Germany, Italy, France, Sweden, Finland, Norway, the UK, Russia and more. On June 5, 2006, she performed at the 5th Gala of Jazz in Lincoln Center, New York, and in a session at the 2007 TED (Technology Entertainment Design) conference in Monterey, California.

Chapman was commissioned by the American Conservatory Theater to compose music for its production of Athol Fugard's Blood Knot, a play on apartheid in South Africa, staged in early 2008.

Atlantic Records released Chapman's eighth studio album, Our Bright Future (2008). Chapman made a 26-date solo tour of Europe. She returned to tour Europe and selected North American cities during the summer of 2009. She was backed by Joe Gore on guitars, Patrick Warren on keyboards, and Dawn Richardson on percussion.

Chapman was appointed a member of the 2014 Sundance Film Festival U.S. Documentary jury.

Chapman performed Ben E. King's "Stand By Me" on one of the final episodes of the Late Show with David Letterman in April 2015. The performance became a viral hit and was the focus of various news articles including some by Billboard and The Huffington Post.

On November 20, 2015, Chapman released Greatest Hits, consisting of 18 tracks including the live version of "Stand by Me", the album is Chapman's first global compilation release.

In October 2018, Chapman sued the rapper Nicki Minaj over copyright infringement, alleging that Minaj had sampled her song "Baby Can I Hold You" without permission. Chapman's lawsuit requested an injunction to prevent Minaj releasing the song "Sorry" and stated that she had "repeatedly denied" permission for "Baby Can I Hold You" to be sampled. Chapman had previously expressed her reservations about being sampled.

Social activism

Chapman is a politically and socially active musician. In a 2009 interview with American radio network NPR, she said, "I'm approached by lots of organizations and lots of people who want me to support their various charitable efforts in some way. And I look at those requests and I basically try to do what I can. And I have certain interests of my own, generally an interest in human rights." She has performed at numerous socially aware events, and continues to do so. In 1988, she performed in London as part of a worldwide concert tour to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights with Amnesty International. The same year Chapman also performed in the Nelson Mandela 70th Birthday Tribute, an event which raised money for South Africa's Anti-Apartheid Movement and seven children's charities. In 2004, Chapman performed (and rode) in the AIDS/LifeCycle event.

Chapman has also been involved with Cleveland's elementary schools. A music video produced by Chapman that highlights significant achievements in African-American history has become an important teaching tool in Cleveland Public Schools. Chapman also agreed to sponsor a "Crossroads in Black History" essay contest for high school students in Cleveland and other cities.

Chapman received an honorary doctorate from Saint Xavier University in Chicago in 1997. In 2004, Chapman was given an honorary doctorate in Fine Arts by her alma mater, Tufts University, recognizing her commitment to social activism.

I'm fortunate that I've been able to do my work and be involved in certain organizations, certain endeavors, and offered some assistance in some way. Whether that is about raising money or helping to raise awareness, just being another body to show some force and conviction for a particular idea. Finding out where the need is – and if someone thinks you're going to be helpful, then helping.

Chapman often performs at and attends charity events such as Make Poverty History, amfAR, and AIDS/LifeCycle, to support social causes. She identifies as a feminist.

Personal life

Although Chapman has never publicly disclosed her sexual orientation, writer Alice Walker has stated that she and Chapman were in a romantic relationship during the mid-1990s. Chapman maintains a strong separation between her personal and professional life. "I have a public life that's my work life and I have my personal life," she said. "In some ways, the decision to keep the two things separate relates to the work I do."

Discography

Studio albums

Tracy Chapman (1988)

Crossroads (1989)

Matters of the Heart (1992)

New Beginning (1995)

Telling Stories (2000)

Let It Rain (2002)

Where You Live (2005)

Our Bright Future (2008)

#03/30

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childrenwilldie · 4 years

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My Father Sucks 12.10.19

I know going into this I’m basically just talking to myself, but I see this as a good place to rant. (Hindsight: this is very fucking long and this isn’t the). I just caught myself thinking about how nice it was for there to be no fighting, no screaming, no belittling, and overall no bullshit the last 4 nights. But I find it sad that I catch myself counting the days between this shit. And a lot of times it happens a few days in a row and I don’t have the chance to catch a break those days, I just live in agony about what the next screaming match is going to be about... but I know it’s just going to be the same bullshit as it always has been for years. I hate living in fear of these fights in my own house, I hate having to run away and hide in my own home, I hate feeling like I’m being controlled by this fear when I’m here, and I hate that the person who causes this just plays ignorant to it all. He just causes more fights over me staying in my room all day when I do it because of him.

I hate that I’m going to be 23 in a month and I’m scared about never doing enough, never making people proud, and that I myself am not good enough even when I know all 3 of these statements are not true. All he does is try to get me to leave college to work, that I don’t do enough around the house even though I’m a full time college student, a part time employee, have homework, have to take care of myself, and have a life, still all while worrying about my sick grandparents and other family and friends having their issues I can help with. He’s lucky enough that he gets to work 40 hours a week and then sit on his ass at the local bar everyday (even when he doesn’t work, the big ‘A’ word is prominent with him) and then come home to sit on his ass some more in front of the tv all while complaining about the latest bullshit at work. And all while complaining a ton about me, especially that I sleep in too late even though I don’t go to sleep until 4 or 5 in the morning (when he gets up for work), but when I have class, my ass is still up at 9:30 am to get ready and go no matter how little sleep I got. I’ve gone to school with 2 hours only and by the end of the day I was shaking because the adrenaline was the only thing keeping me awake.

I swear he has a personal hatred against me for absolutely no reason no matter how much he tells me he loves me, which is rare. At this point it sounds like a horrible lover gone wrong and I wish it was, they are easier to leave, but you can’t easily leave blood behind. This man is my “father” and at this point I have been long ready to get the fuck out of my house, but I know if I leave, my mother will get the treatment I get and although neither of us deserve it, she is having a far harder time in life right now than I am, so I can deal with it as long as she doesn’t. He is a manipulator, a narcissist, an asshole, a fuck face, and as many other shitty words I can think of to describe him.

I am a proud person in what I do. I can gladly say that I am graduating college after a 5 year journey with high marks. But then I’m taking a year to work before moving on to my 2-3 year graduate program for my masters. That decision was hard because I know all of the bullshit he will pull, and I have already gone through bullshit he has tried pulling over this. Saying I’m taking a year off from being a “kid”... yet I highly doubt taking 5 psychology/anthropology classes a semester, doing all of that homework, working part time, and everything else that comes along with life can be categorized as “living like a child”. I do not party, I do not have a partner, I do not drink, I do not smoke, I do not do drugs, yet somehow I feel like a disappointment in his eyes even though my parents have said I’m the best child they could every ask for, and my mom still says this.

The other night when he came home, I was going to stay in the kitchen talking with my mom and not give in for once, but as he went for the door handle, the surge of fear that overtook my entire body was too much to stay. So I ran. Ran right to my room with my mom calling after me jokingly calling me a “chicken shit”. I didn’t care. Hiding is better than feeling that fear again. And all the while he “didn’t know” why I ran away after catching my moms chicken shit comment, which my mother then told him why. I will never get an “I’m sorry”, I rarely get an “I’m proud of you” or “I love you”. But I always get “your killing yourself how your living”, “you’re going to live off of me for the rest of your life”, “you will never amount to anything”, and “you have given up on everything and yourself” and the worst is “you’re wrong” even when talking about what I learned in class that day (including scientifically proven studies) and what I have educated my self on through my own research online. I look up to some of my teachers and he has the audacity to call them Liberal Hippie Brain Washing Assholes.

I try not to let this get to me, but I have not been comfortable in my own body and my own life in a long time even though I’m comfortable being a plus size woman and I’m proud of what I have done and who I have become, it’s everything else that makes me feel uncomfortable. I have never felt like I’m doing enough since I started working at 17. With my first job came his nagging of more hours and a second job even though I was a senior in high school still and could barely handle that one because of my anxiety. With the beginning of college came his constant nagging about how I don’t need a college degree for art; and then when I switched to Psychology I still got the same bullshit even though I need a masters AT LEAST to work the field I want to. He tries to force his life down my throat, that everything he did is what I should be doing and every opinion he has is what I should believe, and if I don’t, I’m waisting my time, failing at life, and I’m wrong. I may be his child, but he does not treat me as such. I’m not supposed to take my own path in life, I’m supposed to be the mini him.

I still wonder what would happen if I wasn’t an only child. Would my siblings go through this? Would he be proud of them and harsher on me because of that? Would one of my siblings take the role I’m in now instead of me? Or would he not be like this at all..... but what am I thinking, that last one is likely impossible.

My words to anyone going through bullshit like this with ANYONE in their family, maybe even with friends and partners you’re going through problems with, you may be bound to them by blood, promises, or love, but at the end of the day, you have the choice of who you DO and DO NOT have in your life. So fuck them, if they are toxic, kick them to the god damned curb already, they do not deserve another second of your time. You are worth more than what others may make you feel and you deserve good, amazing people in your life.

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swedeandsour · 4 years

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Ahead of her upcoming debut LP “Powerslide” Soleima talks about Anthropology, Social Welfare, writing cheeky songs and her first Valentine’s Day

Fresh off a tour opening for Electric Guest, we spoke to Danish musician Sarah Mariegaard during her first North American tour. Touching base with what will soon become her debut LP “Powerslide”, we caught up with the Copenhagen artist on what makes her tick. Speaking on friendships and collaborations, and her previous dabbling in anthropology, we debunk the mystery behind Sarah’s cultivated alter-ego Soleima in our interview with Mariegaard.

Words + Interview: Peter Quincy Ng

How’s the tour been so far?

It’s been my first tour in America and Canada! It’s also my first time touring for such a long period, so it’s definitely something special.

It’s been a year since your last EP “Bulldog”, so give us an update on what’s new with Soleima.

We’re releasing an album in March, and it’s going to be so fun. I’m excited to release a full-length album, because of releasing only singles, its something that you have to really cherish.

There’s a little tale that goes with your track “Roses”. I’ve read recently that on EP “Bulldog”, that it was a spontaneous songwriting effort that grew organically rather than you framing it around a narrative. How do you invent some of the characters and stories behind them, because often they are quite cheeky?

(Laughs) Yeah, I guess for “Roses” or for all of my songs, its experiences from my own life and people around. I try to put it in a way that people can relate to. “Roses” is a manifestation of something I’ve been going through and not really believing in myself and my own path. “Roses” its both dealing with it and describing it, and then putting an end to it, so I wrote it as sort of an empowerment song to myself.

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You’ve been a person who has been no stranger to collaboration, from community drumming in Tanzania to Flødeklinikken to your work with producer Vasco. Soleima was never truly built in isolation, so tell me about Sarah’s team-building skills?

(Laughs) I definitely work very well in collabs and write a lot of stuff with others and friends. Some of the songs start on the piano where I write on my own, some start in a room with five other people going, “What about this? What about that? Argh!” and it’s important to have those different processes because songs will end up differently. I like both sides and I like both sides of the outcome.

You started out playing piano in Flødeklinikken, but where do you find your own voice as a soloist?

Actually, it was Vasco and a guy who was his best friend called Vera, where we all had this dream of writing songs for others. I was studying and they were doing other daytime jobs, but we wanted to write songs to become topliners or producers. However when writing I started to feel ownership over some of the songs and release them under my own name. In Flødeklinikken, we were seven people writing together, but I missed that part where I could have full creative control

One of my first musical memories of you was from your video and demo track “My Boi”, tell me your collaboration with visual artist Maya SB?

Since the beginning of the Soleima project we always worked very closely. She’s a very close friend and I trust her vision and creativity. It was very easy to start working together, and of all the visuals that we’ve made “My Boi” is the one I am proudest of. I really think it’s amazing and it’s very much Maya’s vision. We still work together and I feel very humbled and blessed to be working with her.

“My Boi”

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One of the things you’ve said about yourself despite being in hip-hop collaborative Flødeklinikken, is that you never saw yourself as a rapper. So what was it like knowing that your cover of “Check” got you on stage with Young Thug?

(Laughs) That was such a fun thing for me! Like it was so funny, and that’s so much how this all works. You do something and it opens a tiny door into something else, which opens another tiny door into something else, that’s a great example of that. You make a fun cover of a random hip-hop song, and then you get to open for him. I don’t know it’s super fun, and I’ve always listened to hip-hop and done it.

“Check”

And as for Kranium? He’s a pretty big name in dancehall!

It’s because I recently got signed the U.S. instead of Denmark and this was our first conversation, because they’ve heard the “Breathe” track. They wanted to put the artist on the track, and then we did it and it was super fun.

“Breathe”

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So it must be a huge dream to make it like that and get signed. But an earlier dream of yours was as an anthropologist?

I have a Bachelor’s degree in anthropology, and I started to move into music when I finished. I was kind of a crossroads where I was wondering if I wanted to do my Master’s degree or do both? But then, because I got signed, I wanted to give it 110%. Luckily, I’ve been able to live off my music since then. My heart is definitely divided but it sounds a little spoiled to say but because I know it’s such a lucky thing to do music as a career, but I do really dream of going back to anthropology. Maybe I hope I could combine the two.

It’s something that pretty much comes up in every interview, but the name Soleima is taken from something father’s tell their daughters when they about to do something that’s up to no good. So if you had to dedicate a song to the teenage girl from Denmark, which one would it be? (Laughs) That’s a hard question, but there are some cheeky ones; “Roses”, “Shut the Fuck Up”, “Cheers for the Tears”.

I’ve read that your mother works with children and your father an addiction counselor. But did they ever get worried the lifestyle and parties of a touring artist, given their background working with people’s issues?

You are so well prepared! This is amazing I’m super impressed. But yeah, in Scandinavia, the support system is so big. There’s always a system to take care of you, and because of that I have a theory that parents in Scandinavia dare to have their children follow their weird dreams than if you were in U.S. I think as opposed to Scandinavia, over there having an education and making enough money is more important, because if not who is going to take care of you. Whereas in Denmark, I could take another career path and I wouldn’t be out in the street. I have my little theory but that’s why I think people dare to do whatever they want out there.

I also have super cool parents, who let me do whatever the fuck I want. As for the partying I think they would be worried if I seemed unwell, but I think by now it seems like they don’t think I’m drinking everyday or doing drugs.

Touring life can be difficult tell us how you keep the sanitary or some on-stage rituals you perform to shake the nerves?

Today we had an off day yesterday and we walked around the town for a many hours actually. All of us, we really enjoyed walking around the towns, and doing super normal things. But we just typically hang out half-an-hour before the show before we get into focus.

Today is Valentine’s Day, anything special for the audience?

Actually, in Denmark we don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day, it’s not a tradition there. Maybe some do but I never liked it, so I’m actually going to celebrate my first one with everyone here.

Actually speaking of holidays, I asked Rasmus (School of X), about where he’d have his dream holiday and he said in Mexico with you.

Ah! Oh my God that’s the cutest! We used to go to Tulum and enjoy the ecotourism, but now it’s a bit too touristy and a lot of partying. It’s also because we’ve been travelling for so many years, and vacations, they are really important and it’s about having time together. So I would say the same, no matter where we are, the best vacation is one with Rasmus.

#soleima #sarah mariegaard #danish music

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