#But emotionally i want to care for people i love like... Come let me sooth you. Let me hold you. Let me cheer you up. Let me cheer you on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starry-eyedblog · 2 months

Note

legitimately the only thing I can think of is husband!price coddling his partner, they're all bleary eyed from crying out of desperation for physical touch since he's been deployed for so long- just the pure neediness. needing him there in every way, physically and emotionally. just like him muttering small "'m here, I have you baby" or "feels too good now that I'm back, yeah? gonna take all of me anyways, love"

(the last sentence is nsfw but either way just... the reader being needy for him in every way when he returns home)

- cruel anon

cruel anon hello !! how are you? you're constantly keeping me fed with ideas and i love it. i need price to soothe me in his arms while i cry

warnings/tags: john price x gn reader, crying, clinginess, smut

you've spent most of this month in tears, desperate to be in your husbands arm, safe and sound. for some reason, his latest deployment was taking a real toll on you.

days seemed longer and the house felt too big without him. cooking just for yourself was becoming more difficult and going out to socialise just didn't seem to fill the gap in your chest.

but finally, it was the day he was coming home. you knew that his time home would fly by and you'd be waving him goodbye again, but thankfully he had been given a wee bit longer off this time due to how demanding and rough his latest deployment had been.

you were now waiting in the living room, sipping on a tea anxiously while you waited for the front door to open. any minute now and he'd be kicking his shoes off and sweeping you off your feet in a bear hug.

after around fifteen minutes, you had finished your cup and decided to go pour another. as you stood up from the comfy chair, that's when you heard the swift click on the front door.

you dropped the cup down, uncaring of where it lands as you rushed through the hallway to the front door. tears instantly pooled in your eyes, making your vision a bit blurry but you didn't care. all that mattered was that your husband was finally home again.

"hey honey, miss me?" john chuckles, dropping his bags onto the floor to open up his arms for you - which you happily ran into. he picked you up, squeezing you tightly before gently setting you back down.

salty tears streamed down your face as you pressed kiss after kiss onto his lips and face. after a minute of this, warm hands gently cupped your face, forcing you to stop moving and stare up. "hey, shh what's wrong baby?" john soothes while using a thumb to rub away some tears.

"i don't know, i guess i've just missed you a lot." you sniffle, your hands wrapping around his waist and holding on tight, never wanting to let go. your chest feels light now that your husband is back safe and sound.

john leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, "well i'm here now huh? not going anywhere honey." he whispers and you nod slowly, tears still streaming down your face.

it's been a few weeks since then, and your emotions haven't got much better. you cling to john where he moves around the house, desperate to just be with him. his physical touch always settles you, keeps you happy and calm.

john hasn't minded, he honestly thinks it's cute. you're acting like a needy house cat, and he's more than happy to treat and spoil you. the two of you haven't really gone out to be with friends since he's been back, too wrapped up in re connecting with one another to even think of leaving the house.

completing simple tasks around the house requires him by your side now, and whenever anything get's too much or goes wrong - he's quick to step in and help. you feel like you've struck gold with your husband. most people would find this emotional and physical clinginess too much, but not john.

he understands how hard it must be for you to be home alone for months on end, trying to keep everything together while also making sure you're getting out enough and staying on top of things. he's always well taken care of too when he gets back, you pamper him to the point he doesn't need to lift a finger.

this time though, it's you needing that extra support and closeness and john is more than happy to be there however you need. after all, why wouldn't he? john loves you, deeply.

it becomes even more apparent during sex, the way you cling to him and never want to let go. being able to have his bare skin on you while he fills you up is so comforting. he's surrounding you with his body, voice and scent; to the point where all you can think about is 'john john john john john.'

you cry and moan, gripping onto him while he slowly slides in. his lips are pressed to your ear, whispering filthy things. "feels so good that i'm back, right sweetheart? oh i know i know, c'mon you can take all of it i know you can. s'just been awhile yeah?"

it's emotional and euphoric, the way you tighten around him while tears stream down your face. he loves the sight of you broken before him, so dependant and trusting. it's something he'll never forget for the rest of his life.

the fact you trust him so deeply, letting him pleasure you to the point of exhaustion, still gripping onto him and crying for him. how could any man ignore such a beautiful bond with his wife?

571 notes · View notes

princessjojo-x · 6 months

Text

Cancer Mars

💝 he takes a while to move on & get over things. he’s known for holding grudges due to his great memory.

💝 he values honesty & hates liars. he has strong intuition & he’s very observant.

💝 he has more feminine energy.

💝 he has a hard time dealing with conflict logically & rationally as he’s very emotional. when he’s angry he’ll say things in the heat of the moment which he’ll regret later on. he can be very passive aggressive too. the best way to piss him off during conflict is to stand your ground & not let him guilt trip you, showing him that his emotions don’t effect you.

💝 he’s emotionally intelligent meaning he knows how to persuade/manipulate others into doing what he wants.

💝 his highs & lows can be exhausting & nauseating for him & others.

💝 when he’s attracted to someone he comes off very nurturing (eg buy you chocolate or flowers). if he doesn’t come off as caring then he doesn’t care.

💝 he tends to put a lot of importance into aftercare & not receiving it can straight up ruin the experience for him.

💝 he is sexually passionate with deep & intense needs for emotional safety within a rxship. he’s likely to want sexual contact to reassure himself that he is wanted. although this need to be wanted extends beyond sex & will permeate their whole life. he may try to make himself indispenable to others so that he will never be abandoned. in sexual relationships, he needs to feel he belongs, protected & secure; he will in turn offer a sense of protection & containment to his partner.

💝 he has a habit of projecting his insecurities onto others.

💝 un-evolved cancer energy is self deprecation, victim mentality & still hung up on a toxic ex from ten years ago.

💝 he does not collaborate well with other cancer mars people.

Turn On’s:

💝 he needs plenty of validation & attention.

💝 he wants a sensitive & intuitive partner who can understand his complex emotional landscape. he likes emotional vulnerability & closeness.

💝 he likes slow & romantic build ups with nurturing gestures (soft music, heart-felt convo, home-cooked food, thoughtful gifts, bubble baths, forehead kisses, being held, cuddles)

💝 he will often mother his partner & want mothering himself.

💝 he loves anything to do with loyalty & binding - “i wanna take care of you”, “i want you to be happy” “give it to me”

💝 he likes eye contact (feeling seen, wanted & protected).

💝 breeding fetish (he likes the idea of making a baby).

💝 submission fantasies - he may like it when you’re a little aggressive or disapline him in bed as long as he knows you love him.

💝 known as the sign most attracted to breasts. the breasts/chest are his erogenous zone (stroke his chest, play with his nips) but remember his body is very sensitive so be gentle.

💝 he’s attracted to strong, tall & protective women with big breasts.

💝 he likes nymphomanics (a woman who has abnormally excessive & uncontrollable sexual desire).

💝 he may want it more when he can’t have it meaning he loves teasing & edging.

💝 all water mars love positions where they can see their partners face.

Turn Off’s:

💝 he dislikes his lover being too independent.

💝 he dislikes not being listened to.

Performance:

💝 he is a romantic, protective, soothing & sensual lover in bed. he can spend the whole day in bed with his partner. he loves turning cuddles, foreplay & sex into long sessions that seemingly have no end.

💝 he tends to treat sex as a very emotional/physical act rather than solely physical. sex & love go hand-in-hand for him. he needs an emotional connection to even consider sex with someone.

💝 he enjoys pleasing his partner & will do almost anything to do so.

💝 since he is emotional, he can have an explosive temper & release that anger during sex, making him sometimes very rough in bed.

💝 cancer is a deeply private sign & needs to feel safe before they reveal themself. nothing turns him off faster than a partner who comes on too strong or tries to push him into intimacy before he’s ready. he’s too sensitive & romantic to respond to a blunt sexual appeal. even in a long-term union, he prefers the indirect approach; he rarely comes right out & says he wants sex (all water sign mars may take more time & could be looking to emotionally connect before they sleep with you).

#astro notes #astrology #mars signs #cancer mars #astro observations

201 notes · View notes

spennsrs · 8 months

Text

𖦹⋆｡˚⋆ฺ the only exception.

↳ TYPE OF WRITING: drabble ↳ CONTENT CREATOR: damien haas from smosh, mentioned shayne topp, spencer agnew, trevor evarts, and courtney miller ↳ SONG REC: the only exception by paramore

"we did some great work today! get some rest, dames. tell [y/n] i said howdy!" shayne's voice was muffled slightly through the phone, but nonetheless damien cheeses the possibly biggest smile known to man.

"will do, man. don't party too hard without me. although, i'm expecting some sort of text from courtney at some ungodly hour saying how you and spence drank too much."

"hey!" the faint voice of spencer almost makes damien jump, but at least he knew now he was on speaker phone, shaking his head with a chuckle.

"love you lot, but i am home now. drink water!" damien parents his friends before hanging up on shayne, sparring him from having to hear any protests. with a sigh, he puts his car in park and turns the car off before deciding to take a moment to just... breath.

he was super excited to be home with his partner, [y/n]. well... unofficial partner... cuddle buddy? situationship even, as he had heard trevor mentioned the other day. damien didn't care for a label. labels were pressed onto society way too much. two people could live together, cuddle, sometimes kiss, and not be a couple. simple as that. [y/n] seemed to enjoy it just as much as damien, and his cats finally had another parent to love on and beg for food. no matter what really happened between him and [y/n], as long as he could still come home to them, he didn't quite care.

ㅤ ೀ ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ ㅤ ♡ ㅤ

as damien opened the door to the apartment, it wasn't a surprise only freyja padded to the door to greet her father. zelda always did prefer [y/n]. "hey, sweet girl." he mutters, setting his bag by the door and crouching down to gently scritch behind the cat's ears. he picks up the grey and white feline and quietly follow the noise of what he presumed to be his partner's favorite show. his suspicions were confirmed when he peeked his head into his room to see his sweet black and white cat curled up on [y/n]'s lap, sound asleep.

he couldn't help how his heart swelled at the sight. the form curled up on his bed was covered by the sheets of the bed, tired eyes slowly trailing to where damien stood. the tired eyes shone, and damien swore he could see every star in them. "hey, love." he says lowly, slowly approaching the bed to set freyja down to let the cat join her sister.

"hi, damien."

the sleepy voice made a soft pink blush creep up on his cheeks, sitting on the edge of the bed. his hand reaches out, gently carding his fingers through their hair. [y/n], much akin to a cat, leaned into the touch with a soft smile. they reach for the remote, pausing the show. there was a comfortable silence that fell between them, damien could tell the other was emotionally exhausted. as much as he wanted to whisk them into his arms and shower them in kisses and compliments, to downright worship them and let his emotions spill like a leaky faucet.

but he had to be okay with keeping himself at a distance, to admire form afar.

[y/n] angled their head to look up at damien, simply admiring his features. he was deep in thought, and it made them pout a bit. "what's on your mind, dames?" they say softly, scooting over as their hands slip around his bicep, pulling him to lay down. "you've had a long day. wanna watch something?" the soothing voice of [y/n] made damien blink, before letting a yawn escape his lips, stretching out.

"i was gonna shower... but now that i'm laying here, exhaustion is finally catching up with me." he mumbles, slinging an arm around [y/n]'s middle, pulling them close. the sound of their giggle makes damien angle his head to comfortably look at the other. "you're so breathtaking..." he mutters, and he knows [y/n] hears due to the deep red blush that paints itself over their cheeks.

with a squeal, they hide their face in damien's chest, and damien could stay like this forever. "no, 'm not..." they mutter softly, snuggling closer.

moments like these were damien's favorites. it was selfish, but in damien's perfect dream world, he might have been [y/n]'s only exception to their avoidance of love.

little did he know, he was their only exception.

#damien haas #damien haas x reader #marnie's writings #smosh #smosh x reader #smosh games #smosh pit #i love these sillies sm #shayne topp #smosh shayne #smosh damien

330 notes · View notes

bimrsadler · 1 year

Note

Hello! I love your page. Is it ok if a ask for headcanons of Arthur dealing with a pregnant SO that had a miscarriage? It’s ok if you don’t want to though. I understand some people don’t like writing about this stuff, but thank you anyways

Love Anon <3

Arthur Morgan x pregnant SO/miscarriage headcanons

Warnings/tags: pregnancy, miscarriage, heavy themes/angst (doesn't go too in detail) allusions to Isaac, fluff

Notes: Thanks for the compliment! Not usually too big on writing pregnancy related things but hc's are a bit easier for me and writing a supportive Arthur is always nice. Also realized after writing this that I made it in the reader perspective - not just an SO, so I hope that's okay!

Arthur is no stranger to loss, having suffered greatly for his choices in the past — so this situation brings a feeling of helplessness that shakes him

Admittedly, he was anxious at the prospect of another chance at fatherhood but you remind him that he’s not the man he used to be

And his excitement of starting a family with you outweighs his fear

When he finds out about the loss, his first concern is you. He will do everything he can to make sure you’re okay; moving heaven and earth to get you any medical care you may need

If you’re safe physically he’ll work to support you emotionally, and he loves being there for you

He doesn’t feel eloquent or well-spoken (though you would disagree) so he mostly sticks to affection and acts of service

As a man who is already giving and helpful, his doting during this time will be constant. Doing any and all work/chores, bringing you tea and a good book, a favorite snack, having the dog or cat curl up besides you when he can’t; anything to make you smile

He will frequently find ways to touch you gently. Shoulder/foot rubs, a kiss on the top of your head, offering his hand to help you up

Mostly he’ll hold you close to him any chance he gets. He knows it makes you feel safe and loved, and in turn it makes him feel like your protector — the one job he feels good enough for

It also soothes his anxiety of losing you which after something like this — can be too much for him

But when you’re in his arms, it grounds him and reassures that you’re really there and really his

All of this to say, he will neglect his own well-being in favor of caring for you, because of this it can take a long time to process and actually feel his own emotions

He has a tendency to retreat inward and try to put on a brave face for your sake during hard times

You have to reassure him that it’s not necessary and would much rather he let it out, or at least find ways to cope that are helpful for him

He does know he can be vulnerable with you though, and with time, relaxing his tough facade comes more naturally to him

Although he’s no stranger to loss, he feels like it’s something he can get through with you by his side

He would never put any pressure on trying for a baby again, but would consider trying if you wanted to

He could also accept if it wasn’t in the cards and easily find happiness in just the two of you. At the end of the day he’s just grateful that you’re safe and healthy

#tw pregnancy #tw miscarriage #arthur morgan #rdr2 #arthur morgan headcanons #arthur morgan hc’s #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x f!reader #headcanons #arthur morgan fanfiction #arthur morgan fanfic #rdr2 fanfic

214 notes · View notes

vivalarevolution · 1 year

Text

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓦𝓸𝓵𝓯 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓓𝓻𝓪𝓰𝓸𝓷

Robb Stark x Targaryen Reader

Request: „Hi! Hope you're having a great day, if you don't mind, please could you write a robb stark x reader?‟

„can you do just a fluffy oneshot with robb where reader thought he was dead (they were betrothed and in love so reader was like still in mourning even tho it's been months since he died) and turns out he survived the Red Wedding along with Grey Wind and they just have this super fluffy and teary reunion and later that day reader just wanted to cuddle robb and never let go hope that makes sense!‟

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing for Robb Stark. I put two requests together in this story from anons I hope you as well as them gonna like it.

English is not my native language so I am sorry for any mistakes.

*Thoughts, memories, and other languages are written in bold italics.

He was standing in front of her. Safe and sound, and above all... alive.

She looked at him with a shadow of tears in her violet eyes. Her hands, cold and trembling, held his neck like a lifeline, helping her not to drown in the ocean of bitterness and despair. The man held her near him, wanting to have her as close as possible, never wanting to let go, his hands gripping the material of the white-haired woman coat. In a silent act, conveying the care he wanted to soothe the heart of the dragon princess.

But nothing was able to help her.

-I beg you- she whispered on the verge of hysteria -I beg you, Robb, don't agree to Lord Frey's proposal. I can not loose you.

-You will not loose me. I am yours and you are mine, now, until the end of our days -he replied kissing her forehead lovingly.

-I don't want the end of your days to end tomorrow night, I won't let it happen - the woman said firmly- The people of Westeros are manipulative, wherever they go, they look for a chance. To use, to take and...

-I am the king of the north, but I am also a man of honor - Stark tried to explain to her, running his large hands over her soft skin.

-My father was a king - the young Targaryen drawled through her teeth - He saw people as traitors, unconsciously creating them himself. He paid for it with life, not only his but also his children. Don't make the same mistake.

-I will attend this wedding - said the brunette, sticking to his sentence - You should go there with me, as the future queen of the north - he added, more quietly, even though the two lovers were alone anyway.

-In the morning, me and Jaelarys return to Essos - she announced to Robb's surprise. -Dany want to discuss further expanding our alliances in here. I can't keep her waiting.

-So you're leaving me?- the northman asked, trying to hide the pain in his voice.

-I haven't seen my sister in over six months -Y/n said, offended -I want to see if she's safe, I have to. She may need me.

-I need you - replied her lover.

-Now you're the king of the north - the violet-eyed whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth -Maybe when I come back, you'll be the king of all seven kingdoms -she added, connecting their foreheads.

She said this words trying to hide her anger, preferring to leave rather than listen, not knowing at the time that that conversation was their last.

Or so she thought.

-Gaomagon ao gīmigon bisa vala,mandia? (Do you know this man, sister?) Daenerys asked, waking the princess from her thoughts.

-Kessa (Yes) - she managed to say - Īles se Dārys hen Jelmor (He was the king of the north) - she added more quietly.

-Oh- only came out of Taragryen's mouth- I thought Robb Stark...died -she admitted surprised, trying to choose her words carefully in front of her already emotionally sensitive sister.

Y/n thought so too. Her grief and sadness knew no bounds since they had been awakened by the news of the death of Young Wolf, her beloved Robb.

-I'd like to talk to the king in private - the silver-haired woman confessed after a while, feeling her last particles of stability starts slipping between her fingers.

-Of course- queen of Dragonstone replied, sounding soothing and warm, wanting to reassure her sister from a distance.

The violet-eyed princess left the throne room without hesitation and, to the surprise of the oldest of the Starks, did not even looked at him. Her footsteps were quick and hard, each one bouncing off the stone walls of the castle.

She didn't have to turn around. She knew the man was following her, even if he didn't know where she was leading him.

When she was sure that no one would interrupt their conversation, only then did her footsteps stop.

As she turned around, Robb was able to take a close look at the changes that had taken place during their separation. Once full of joy and feisty face changed to a colder, almost indifferent expression. The eyes were more faded, deep down drowning in the sadness that Y/n had experienced.

Looking at her ,broke his heart and filled him with anger at the same time. It was because of him that the young woman found herself in this position, because he didn't listen, because he didn't came earlier but four years later, when instead of the stubborn girl for whom he was so crazy, he found her shadow.

Stark's first instinct was to embrace her fragile form, so he did exactly that. Taking her body to himself, he covered it with thick, black fur and wrapped his arms around it.

Y/n felt as if for the first time in a very long time she could breathe fully, as if her lungs were finally filled with the air necessary to survive. Her hands disappeared into the brunette's coat, holding on tightly, not wanting to let go.

-I should have listened - the northman said after a while -I should have been wiser...

-Robb, don't - the young Targaryen interrupted him, placing one of her hands on his chest, then lifting her head and staring into his blue irises -We can't change the past. What happened… I really thought I lost you - she confessed, the first tears in her eyes.

-They killed everyone...my mother begged them to spare me but in response they slit her throat and stuck a dagger in me- he replied bitterly, clenching his hands on Daenerys sister's waist -I thought it was my end. But Greywind found my body, dragged me to some hut. The old lady must have been terrified when she saw me, but she helped me anyway.

-It wouldn't be wise to ignore the king of the north and his direwolf -Y/n stated, and Stark smiled at the hint of sarcasm in her mouth that he loved so much -She saved you and I'm glad she did, especially when...- halfway through, she frowned ,putting on a serious face, it was obvious that she wanted to confess something.

-Princess - one of the maidservants suddenly interjected -Rhaella woke up from her nap, she's fussy. I believe she's calling for her mother.

Y/n left her former lover's arms at the words about her child. Smiling gently at the Dothraki woman, she nodded her head in understanding.

Watching as she leaves in the only direction she knew, the violet-eyed woman looked at the man out of the corner of her eye.

-Robb, I know a lot has been dumped on your shoulders, but I think you should meet someone - she announced quietly -It's important.

Northman at first thought he had misheard.

That it wasn't about Y/n. Then the thought of a new dragon crept into his mind, but when he stood in the doorway of the chambers, he knew exactly who Rhaella was.

The young Targaryen with natural delicacy lifted the toddler up, cradling her in her arms, thus soothing her. The girl was a copy of her mother, inheriting every trait of the dragon bloodline.

Walking slowly towards the brunet, she involuntarily clenched her hands on the child harder, not knowing how he would react.

-Is she mine?- whispered the blue-eyed man, gliding his hand over the girl's ruddy cheek.

-Yes - the princess replied simply.

Y/n woke up in the middle of the night. Half of her bed was empty, causing her to awakening instantly. Where was Robb? Was it another nightmare, or was she slowly starting to lose her mind?

Her eyes quickly scanned the room. They finally found a man who held her heart in an iron grip.

Targaryen rose carefully from the bed, approaching him quietly. The king from the north greeted her, wrapping his arm around her body so she could shamelessly take his warmth for herself.

-Why aren't you sleeping?- she asked softly, kissing his jaw.

-I couldn't sleep - he replied, staring at the sea outside the window.

-Are you sure it's just sleep problems?- the princess asked, seeing the change in Stark after seeing his daughter.

-I...- he began, but couldn't finish, grabbing the stone balustrade, squeezing his hand around it -I can't stop thinking what would have happened if you hadn't flown away that morning and stayed with me. If you had participated in this carnage - he whispered, looking at Rhaella sleeping, unaware of anything.

-You didn't know, nobody knew that I was with child - the young woman admitted - The news of your death resulted in too much stress, my body couldn't stand it. Then I found out I was pregnant. You couldn't have known Robb - she assured, stroking his back.

-How can you be so calm, so forgiving? - he asked confused, looking at her like a lost child rather than a king.

-Because I can't stay stuck in the past any longer. I can't think what if. This world won't let me, I have to push forward not only for myself, but for people who need me Robb, you should do the same - Y/n stated, after a moment she kissed his lips lovingly.

-I love you my queen - he murmured, cupping her face in his hands.

-And I love you my king - replied Daenerys' sister, closing her eyes -Now and forever.

-Now and forever - Stark repeated, connecting their foreheads.

The impending war was at their feet, but tonight, at this moment, only their feelings and sensations mattered. Their touches of hands and brushes of lips. Their song of ice and fire. The Wolf and the Dragon.

#robb stark x reader #robb stark #got #game of thrones #asoiaf #house targaryen #house stark #fanfiction #targrayen reader #game of thrones x reader #daenerys targaryen #robb stark x targaryen reader #female reader #game of thrones fanfiction #robb star x oc #robb stark au #game of thrones imagine

256 notes · View notes

ellethespaceunicorn · 1 year

Text

Bright Like The Moon: Chapter 8

Chapter 8: I Was So Much Younger Yesterday

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Fandom: Night Hunter

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Black!OFC

Word count: 3K

Summary: Kamaria Mansfield is hired at the Minnesota Police Department as an intern. Detective Walter Marshall is overworked and unsatisfied. Takes place post-film.

Chapter Summary: It’s time to celebrate Faye’s 16th birthday. Also, Walter works out a way for Kam to practice expressing her needs.

Chapter warnings: crying, Daddy kink(if you don’t like this, turn back now because damn), slight dumbification kink, oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, creampie, creampie tasting, the term ‘cumslut’ used lovingly

A/N: New Story Art! *cheering and applause* Now, it’s time to get to serious business. Um, I like Angie. And I wrote her like I see her. Also, this chapter gets quite kinky so heed those warnings, please. Un-beta’d, we die like people who tried their best.

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me, model for Cover Art credits

Cross-posted on AO3

Spotify Playlist

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Kamaria’s POV

Three Months Later

“...Happy Birthday dear Faye, Happy Birthday to You!”

We all cheer as Faye blows out her sixteen candles. Her parents stand by and film their child celebrating with her friends. Angie starts to cut the cake and gives Walter slices to hand out. They work so well together. You’d never know they went through such a rough separation.

Sweet Faye with her curls and her chubby cheeks, looking for all the world like the baby she was. Her purple cocktail dress matches the flower in her hair that I helped her with.

It was nice to feel like a part of the team, working with Walter and Angie on organizing the party for Faye. But, let’s face it, it was mostly me and Angie doing the planning and Walter nodding along. Angie and I got along well enough, I think she just appreciated that I cared about Faye and that meant more than anything.

Angie says goodbye to the last guests leaving while I finish tidying up Faye’s gift haul. She dozes on the couch curled up on Walter who is snoozing as well. Angie moves a blanket over both of them and comes to help me clear away dishes and any lingering trash.

“I have to thank you for helping out with Faye earlier. She’s in that stage where everything I say is just not ‘cool’ enough,” Angie wipes her hands on a dish towel and looks from Faye’s sleeping form to me, “I remember this time in my life where my little girl valued my opinion above all else. And now it’s like she chooses the exact opposite of what I suggest.”

“Don’t worry. She’ll realize one day that she is so lucky to have a mother who actually wanted her,” I squeeze my eyes closed, deciding to open this old wound, “My mom never wanted to be a mother and she made that abundantly clear by leaving me and my Dad when I was a kid. He was never emotionally available so I had some interesting times in life, to say the least. But, just know that I’m sure she’ll come around. It may be in a year or two, but for now, you have a Daddy’s girl on your hands.” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

I don’t notice Angie coming to my side until she puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Having a loving mother next to me offering me comfort is suddenly too much to handle and my eyes start to blur from unshed tears. I begin to protest my emotional reaction but then Angie speaks.

“It doesn’t make you weak to cry when you’re upset.”

Her hushed words are like a soothing balm on a decades-old burn. One shaky breath is all I take before the tears are streaming down my face. Angie’s face crumbles as well and she wraps her arms around me. I realize that it has been a long time since I’ve had a “Mom hug” and I cling to that warmth as I quietly weep.

When my sobs turn into sniffles, Angie rubs my back in calming circles. We separate and she cups my cheek in a display of affection. I nod and smile in appreciation before taking a deep breath to collect myself.

Walter and Faye pick this moment to finally wake up. Thank goodness for small favors, they missed my little moment. I wipe my eyes and face quickly before smiling at my boyfriend and his daughter. While Faye is none the wiser, I can see the gears working behind Walter’s eyes. He can always see right through me, but he won’t make his suspicions known until we’re alone. Something I truly love about him, he is not a scene-maker.

I walk over to Faye and give her a big hug before sitting down next to Walter and holding his hand. “How did we do on your big day, sweetheart? I’ll take you falling asleep as you had quite a time.”

“It was perfect. It was everything I wanted. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Thank you, Kam.” The grin never left her sweet face. It is all worth it to see her happiness.

“You’re welcome, love,” Walter cupped Faye’s face and she beamed back at him. Truly a Daddy’s girl.

“Alright, birthday girl. You are welcome to stay up as long as you like. Just for tonight, that is,” Angie walks over to us and kisses the top of Faye’s head before smiling at Walter and me, “I am going to bed. Thank you both for your help today. Goodnight.” She pats my shoulder before heading upstairs.

If Walter notices our non-verbal exchange, he doesn’t mention it.

“Alright, girlfriend. Who was that adorable kid with the curls? He was cute.” I can’t help but make Faye blush and make Walter roll his eyes. It’s like my talent.

“That was Albert. He’s in my English class. He likes Federico García Lorca and Mission: Impossible movies. That’s all I needed to know.”

“Which means he either knows enough to seem intelligent or enough to actually be intelligent,” I smile and yawn before stretching.

“On that note, I think it’s time for us to get home and for you to get to bed.” Walter ends the conversation without adding his two cents about this Albert kid. Faye gets the hint and follows suit.

“Yeah, I’m tired anyway. Thanks again, you guys.” Faye yawns sympathetically.

Walter and I leave after hugs and final birthday wishes. On the car ride back to his place, Walter decides to bring up his worries.

“So, did something happen while Faye and I were out?” He broaches the topic carefully.

“Angie was feeling a bit left out of her daughter’s life. I simply told her that she has a Daddy’s girl on her hands.” I smile at the side of Walter’s face and look back at the road.

Walter surprises me by pulling the car over and turning to face me. “You want to try that again, Princess?” The pet name is enough to put my brain in gear and answer fully.

“I told Angie about how my Mom never wanted me. And then I cried. A lot.” I hated how he was so good at getting me to say what I didn’t want to say. But I had to respect his abilities.

“Why do I always have to work so hard at getting the truth out of you, Princess?” He reaches over to hold my chin between his thumb and forefinger, “You’ll work on that tonight, do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy. I understand.” Suddenly out of breath, I slip into subspace with ease.

Walter’s POV

I love this woman, I do. But there is nothing harder than getting her to face her emotions. Getting her to tell me when she’s dealing with sadness or anxiety is like pulling teeth. I have literally been in the line of fire before. But getting her to admit when she has cried is harder than any S.W.A.T. mission I have ever been on.

We get back to my place and after her shower, I instruct her to stay undressed. I have her sit on the bed against the headboard. While I undress, I deny her the ability to touch herself. I watch her squirm while I slowly remove my last piece of clothing.

My dick throbs between my legs as I lock eyes with her. She licks her lips and fights the urge to reach out and touch. I settle on her punishment and a little piece of me actually feels sorry for her. This one might wreck her.

“Since it’s so hard for you to be honest about your feelings, we’re going to work on that tonight. You have to express when you have needs. All you have to do is tell me what you need when you need it. You must use your words, Princess. Is that clear?” I cross my arms and look down at her.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good girl,” I smile as the praise washes over her, “How do you feel about restraints, baby?”

She shifts on the bed a bit and plays with her hands. “I like being restrained.”

“Good,” I reach into my nightstand and pull out a silk sash before beckoning her to sit at the edge of the bed, “Put your hands together for me, palm to palm,” She does as she’s told and I tie her hands together. “How does that feel? Not too tight?”

“Feels fine,” She scrunches up her nose and looks up at me, “I won’t be able to touch you, though.”

“Yeah. That’s kind of the point, Princess,” I push lightly on her shoulder so she lays down flat and her hands stretch above her head, “Just lie back and let me work. And you tell me when you need more or less, alright?”

She nods and I raise my eyebrows. “Yes, I’ll tell you what I need.”

“Good girl.” I lean down and capture her lips in my own. I poke at the seam of her mouth until she lets me enter. I lick into her mouth, tasting and sucking on her tongue. Moving my kisses to her jaw then to her neck, I suck and bite at her sweet spot until she lets out that precious little moan of hers.

Trailing my tongue across her clavicle, I kiss down her chest and lavish attention on her breasts. These perfect fucking tits I love so much. I kiss both nipples and knead the soft flesh but don’t go any further until I hear a whine. “Use your words, Princess. What do you need?”

“Your tongue…can you suck on my nipples, please?” Her breathing speeds up.

“That’s my good girl.” I swirl my tongue around one nipple while running my thumb over the other. I suck the pebbled peak into my mouth and tease it with my tongue. Suckling at her for a few moments more, I switch to the other side to give just as much attention. I feel her thighs rubbing together in search of friction, so I kiss down her soft belly, stopping to nip at her hips.

Pulling her legs apart, I can finally see my prize. I want to dive right in, but this is an exercise to have Kamaria tell me what she needs so instead I kiss at her inner thighs for far longer than I normally would have to prove a point.

“Daddy, please eat my pussy.” She pleads, moving her hips closer to my face. Such a good girl for me, and I tell her as much before I kiss her mound and then slide my tongue up and down her wet slit.

“Fuck! You taste amazing, Princess.” My hands grip her thighs tight before I begin to lap at her like a man starved. Her sweet nectar is more than enough to satisfy me and I want to drink her in and never look back. Her whimpers only make me work that much harder. Sucking on her clit, I let my tongue dance against the swollen bud and am rewarded with a squeal.

“Need your fingers, please.” Such a polite little thing, isn’t she?

“Yes, baby.” I reward her good manners with two fingers straightaway. She’s soaked and they slide in easily. We both groan and I massage that inner bundle of nerves before returning my attention to her clit. I flick my tongue on her button before working my fingers in and out of her core.

“Just like that, don’t stop!” Her words go straight to my dick and I curve my fingers. Before long, I can feel her channel clamp down on my fingers but I keep working at her as her juices coat my hand.

“Too much, too sensitive!” She cries, her body shaking under me. I lift off her clit and still my fingers before licking them clean and wiping them on the comforter.

“You did so good, Princess,” I kiss up her body and nibble at her neck, “But I’m not done with you yet, baby.” I get up from my spot between her legs and move her to the center of the bed. Maneuvering her on her side, I slide up behind her and lift her leg. I enter her swiftly and we moan in tandem.

I pull back out until just the tip is inside then I slam back in. Gripping her hip, I start a punishing pace inside her walls. The way her cunt squeezes me is like paradise. She was made to take my dick. I was made to claim her pussy.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” All she can utter is a string of curses and I feel triumphant that I fucked language right out of her brain.

“That’s right, Princess. Let this dick fuck you stupid, baby,” No sooner do I finish that sentence do I feel her walls flutter around me, “Oh does my baby like being fucked dumb on Daddy’s dick?” The answering whine tells me all I need to know. Adding ‘dumbification’ to the list of kinks my baby girl has.

Pulling out and moving Kam onto her back, I get to my knees and push her legs open, Entering her again, I reach up and hold her bound hands in one fist. From this angle, I can slam into her and stimulate her clit at the same time.

“Need to…touch you. Please…Daddy?” Her words are punctuated by thrusts, the look of yearning in her eyes.

I pull the knot free on the sash. Her hands immediately go to my hair to tug me down for a kiss. I can taste her desire and hunger for closeness. I growl into her mouth and she whimpers back. Her legs wrap around my waist and pull me in deeper. We pull apart from the kiss and rest our foreheads together.

“Tell me what you need, baby girl.” At this point, I am panting. So close to release. I just need to hear her say she needs it.

“Look at me while you cum inside me, Daddy,” This little brat actually smiles up at me as she shatters me.

“Fuck!” The dam breaks and my hold on reality fucks all the way off. My eyes search hers while I empty my balls into her waiting cunt. I keep stroking inside her and the sensation is heightened once I feel her come around me. She could gonna be the death of me, and I’d love every minute of it.

I lean down and slot our mouths together as I pull out. I swallow her whimper at the feeling of emptiness before I look down to see her thoroughly ruined snatch. My cum still leaks out and I can’t help but feel proud to see her so full. I smile down at her before getting up from the bed.

I clean up a bit in the bathroom before fetching a damp washcloth. Entering the room again, I find Kam lazily playing with herself. “Enjoying yourself, Princess?” I reach down and clean her gently.

“I love how sensitive I am right now. It feels so good.” Her eyes roll back in her head as my hand moves over her folds.

“Do you think you can give me one more orgasm, Princess?” I know I might be pushing it, but seeing her so aroused is making it worth asking.

“Yes, please, Daddy. I wanna cum again for you.”

That was all I needed to hear before I’m between her legs again. I lean down to lap at her slit. Tasting my spend and her juices mixed together is heavenly. Can’t believe I’ve never done this before. By the surprised moans coming from Kam, I’d say she was enjoying this as well.

After making out with her pussy for a while, my fingers find their way inside her tight wet heat. Curving my fingers as I move them in and out, I’m rewarded soon after with a strangled moan and her walls fluttering around my fingers. I wait until the convulsing stops to remove my fingers. A dirty thought enters my head and I run with it.

“Open your mouth, Princess,” As she follows direction, I lock eyes with her as I put my slick-coated fingers in her mouth until they disappear, “Such a good girl for me. Sucking our cum off my fingers like the hungry little cumslut you are.”

She moans around my fingers and if I didn’t literally just cum a liter, I’d be balls-deep in her again. When I remove my fingers from her mouth, she actually whines in protest. I can’t help but kiss that adorable pout before grabbing the washcloth again to wipe away the evidence of her arousal.

I throw the cloth in the hamper and lay down next to my love. I check her wrists to make sure the sash didn’t dig in too deep before kissing her forehead. “How’s my baby feeling?”

“I feel amazing. Spectacular,” She stretches and cuddles into my chest as I wrap an arm around her, “I think that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“I’m right there with you. I probably fried a few brain cells but it was so worth it,” I hold her chin and bring her gaze up, “I’m also proud of you for saying what you needed. Now, we just have to get you to do that out of the bedroom.”

“Practice makes perfect, right?” There’s my little brat.

“Cheeky. But not wrong. We’ll work on it together, yeah?” I say, pulling the comforter over both of us as Kam’s eyes start to close, “Love you, Princess.”

“Mhm,” Her short answer lets me know that she is absolutely fucked out and I’m chuffed, “Love you, Daddy.”

Her fingers work their way through my chest hair, something I’ve noticed as a comfort activity for her. If I was a cat, I’d be purring every time she does it. But if she ever found out how much I liked it, she’d probably use it against me somehow. Little minx.

I listen as her breathing evens out and I’m not far behind. I can safely say today was a good day. Nothing can ruin this feeling.

Can it?

Chapter 9

A/N: Ehehehe, that ending sounded menacing at all, did it…? Well, anyway. This chapter’s song was “Starving” by Hailee Steinfeld & Grey. “Starving” is about a relationship that’s getting more adventurous in and outside of the bedroom. I really enjoy writing in Walter’s POV, especially the kinky stuff. Hopefully, you enjoyed it too.

**Tag List**

@brattymum96 @ambinxe @avengersfan25 @kebabgirl67

@enchantedbytomandhenry @astheskycries

@deandoesthingstome @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @foxyjwls007 @rosiesluv7 @livisss @slut4henrycavilll

Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁

#walter marshall #walter marshall fanfic #walter marshall x black!plus size female #walter marshall x black!plus size female oc #walter marshall x ofc #walter marshall x black!ofc #ellethespaceunicorn fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill #walter marshall fanfiction #walter marshall fic #night hunter #night hunter fanfic #night hunter fanfiction #bright like the moon

61 notes · View notes

broomsick · 1 year

Text

UPG’s of what some of the Gods could want to help you with!

These are all completely personal thoughts, and I am aware they may not mirror your own experiences at all. They don’t have much historical accuracy, which is why I’ve labeled them “UPG’s”. I haven’t experienced each and every one of these as manifestations of deity blessings, but I have experienced some. The rest is conjecture based on the God’s “domains” (the areas of influence they are generally associated with), as well as their personalities and the interests I’ve come to associate each of them with. Feel free to take any of these to heart, as well as to add your own UPG’s.

Thórr: developing pride in yourself and your accomplishments, learning to let go of worries and have fun every once in a while. He brings about a feeling of absolute safety and He’s always come to soothe me after difficult events.

Óðinn: making important life decisions, learning new skills and trying out new things, finding ways to acquire wisdom, learning to truly listen to others but also to your own instinct. His presence is an extremely calming one, and He opens your senses to the world around you.

Freyja: feeling comfortable in one’s body, helping one show their affection to their loved ones, accepting hard truths and overcoming them. She’s also a good teacher when it comes to developing magical crafts such as spells and potions.

Frigg: She can provide a lot of comfort and love, and She can help you accept and deal with difficult changes in your lives. She’s also a great help when it comes to family matters.

Yngvi-Freyr: appreciating the land you live on and its gifts, seeing the beauty in the world, developing gardening and cooking skills. Just like Thórr, He is very keen on cheering you up when you’re feeling down. He is also a great help when it comes to matters of wealth, material possessions, and financial stability.

Skaði: fighting off seasonal depression, finding warmth and comfort during winter, enjoying the season either alone or with friends and family. In my experience, she’s great at helping you stay level-headed and emotionally stable.

Týr: defending one’s values and opinions, staying true to oneself, but also learning to find compromise to settle disputes, accepting differences in others. He’s a great help when it comes to making the necessary sacrifices to reach one’s goals.

Eir: overcoming illness/injury, keeping oneself safe and watching out for loved ones, and helping others in general, by becoming involved in one’s community or by starting volunteering activities, for example.

Heimdallr: improving one’s willpower, observational skills and intuition. He is, amongst other things, a symbol of transition, which is why He is helpful when it comes to tackling important transitions in one’s life.

Baldr: seeing beauty in the mundane, nurturing happiness, learning to act spontaneously and in the spirit of adventure, appreciating the people around you, rediscovering and caring for one’s “inner child”.

Loki: developing one’s self-confidence, letting go of worries, finally acting instead of waiting, learning to detach oneself from others’ opinions, finding pleasure and passion again.

Iðunn: improving one’s connection to spirituality, nurturing and acting on creativity, finding inspiration, keeping one’s heart and mind peaceful, learning to calm oneself, spreading kindness.

Hel: She can help one mourn, accept death and be at peace with it, as well as tame their fears. Just like Óðinn, the lessons She teaches can be heard in Her silence: Her presence is extremely calming and quiet, but She has much to teach.

Njörðr: helping one’s wealth prosper, appreciating the gifts of the sea, improving one’s connection to the ocean, practicing sea magic and developing such crafts that are connected to the sea.

#norse paganism #heathenry #spirituality #deity worship #deity work #norse gods #deities #paganism #norse polytheism #polytheism

125 notes · View notes

blackberry-gingham · 1 year

Note

Give me your favourite blorbos and favourite headcanon for them

Is this a Christmas present for me anon? Bc if it is, I love it and thank you 😚💖😭😭

I have a lot of characters I like, but as far as absolute faves rn, here's Gambit and Nightcrawler :) thank you so much for this generous ask and enjoy!

Gambit

Gambit's father tried to send Remy to receive formal education as a kid, but Gambit wasn't very cooperative about it (like, at all) and so he never finished

You would hardly know this though, as Gambit is not only, of course, able to read and write perfectly- but he is also bilingual (English and French), can write in cursive, and can read Roman numerals

Gambit grew up Catholic in comic canon, but as an adult he now carries and proclaims himself as atheist (this is also canon, I believe) however, in his heart of hearts, he's really more agnostic

Sometimes in dark hours, he will pray the rosary to soothe himself. That and, very rarely, he can sometimes be found sitting in the local chapel- just to think, he says

Also in comic canon, Gambit dreams of having a family and wants to be a dad one day- as for the headcannon, he'll never say a preference aloud, but secretly he hopes to have mostly girls

He has learned to braid and tie those big, glittery hair bows in preparation for this, but he would die before letting on about either of those skills

This is canon as far as the cartoon is concerned, but just for the record I hc that not only is Gambit indeed a really great cook, but it is also secretly one of his hobbies

Here's something interesting- in comic canon Gambit has his powers surgically reduced by Mr sinister so that he can better control them. For the hc, I believe this is where their red color comes from, but when he was at full power, his eyes were purple

Free fun fact! But this is how you can tell if the gambit I'm writing or drawing is at his full, godly power or not- I intentionally depict him with either color to suit my story/imagination

This might be actually controversial to some, but I am in this category of women myself, so do not fear: Gambit secretly is very (VERY) into curvy women, especially after having grown up in the south (he's a hips and thighs guy, if you're curious)

However, and this is the controversial part, he's one of Those Guys™ that feels ashamed of attraction, so he will very rarely pursue or even entertain them if anyone he knows is watching

If he thinks he can get away with it privately tho- he most definitely will go for it

In a world where he either doesn't end up with rogue or something tho, this weird embarrassment thing goes away entirely as he gets a little older and more emotionally mature

For my followers: this reservation does not exist at all in regards to dad bod Gambit. He proudly enjoys great food AND fine ass women- no holds barred

Gambit's love language is quality time, his myer briggs is ESTP, his sign is Leo, he's about 6'4 (I like to imagine him a little extra tall), and if you see me write/draw him with a dad bod he's at least about 34 years old

Nightcrawler

Nightcrawler cannot swim, at least- not formally

This has nothing to do with physical ability, but rather that he just never learned, mostly bc he has/had no need

He's never had any formal education either, and only learned to read and write at the monastery in his early 20s

This also means he barely spoke English until meeting the professor- now, he's fully fluent tho

I feel that some people are going to act like this is controversial, even tho it shouldn't be lmao- but I hc that Kurt is a virgin

I don't care what the comics say/imply or how old he is: on this blog he takes his faith very seriously and is waiting for marriage

While he grew up staunchly Catholic, as he has gotten older and had more opportunities to study religion on his own, he later converted to Christianity

On the subject of older Nightcrawler- as he ages, certain attributes of his mutation become more pronounced: his fur grows to a thicker, almost woolly texture, his top fangs are longer and protrude from his lip, and he gains slightly keener senses more akin to Wolverine's

On that note- Kurt's hair is naturally curly (although he does nothing to care for it) so once his fur starts growing thicker, this is where it gains it's interesting sherpa like quality instead of just the short, velvet like fuzz he's known for

While his human disguise changes all the time from comic to comic, I like to headcannon that Kurt's disguise is just his natural face and hair, but with human colors- obviously

I toyed with the idea that his human hair would be red/ginger like mother mystique, but ultimately I hc it to be a very light blonde and his eyes are honey brown

On virtue of being an extremely thin man, Kurt ALSO is strongly attracted to full figured women- unlike Gambit tho, at no point in his life does this attraction bother him nor impede his romantic pursuits

Kurt's love language is physical touch, his myer briggs is INFP, his sign is Cancer, and if you see me draw/write him with a dad bod he's probably about 38 years old

#i could write hcs just for dad bod versions of these characters tbh- but i shall restrain myself #im so happy rn like you legit have no idea #XMEN CONTENTTTTTTT WOOOOHOOOOOO #nightcrawler x reader #gambit x reader #marvel xmen

116 notes · View notes

rebelsofshield · 7 months

Note

You had something maybe, maybe months ago, or a year ago, about how some fans are creatures of comfort. You didn't use that exact term but that's what I'm going with. It was in response to this ask about Din and being a leader I know this is going to sound awful, but I do think it's a bit strange that some fans can't just accept story progression. You said it's because they don't view it through a narrative lens, which I agree with But it does make me go insane that they just want to stay in this status quo bubble of Din being a wandering dad. Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that, but to me it's like, don't they want to see him be more than that, do more than that? I know certain people would defend this by saying, "Din's not a leader!" and another can counter this by saying, "You're right, he's not, but his story can be about him learning to become one." This is mostly me venting

I think there is a general desire among a lot of fan communities to see characters they've become attached to only go through stories that are easy or comforting. Some of this I feel is due to the development of parasocial relationships with characters in media. People come to care about Din and what makes them happy is to see him exist in an easy or domestic lifestyle because to them that would be like checking in on a friend and seeing that they are happy and doing alright. I think this is also a key motivating factor in fan fiction as a whole. It allows you to continue revisiting characters in scenarios that official narratives do not and often times those are very lowstakes and emotionally soothing stories.

Additionally, there's a large amount of people that just turn to media like Star Wars for escapist entertainment. When they go to the theater or open Disney+, they want to see narratives that are exciting and full of spectacle, but don't make them uncomfortable. They want characters who are cool and likable doing cool things that never lead to experiencing genuine pain or becoming less likable. There's a part of me that understands this desire. We live in a very stressful, scary world and many see Star Wars as their way to step away from reality for a little bit of time. It lets them catch up on characters they care about and see some imaginative imagery.

The issue is that this sort of narrative is ultimately sort of empty. Its a fast food burger that dependably tastes the same regardless of where in the world you order it. You get what you wanted going in. But that's not art. That's not story. That's product. There may be artistry involved in creating said product, but the product itself doesn't want to do anything other than sustain its existence and continue providing similar feelings to the people who want it.

The issue is that Star Wars can be and has been more and is stuck in this consistent battle throughout its existence on how it wants to be product and how it wants to be art. You swing too far one way or another and you end up causing a firestorm. The Mandalorian to me seems to be a series that has at least some aspirations on being art or at least telling a story, but all too often feels compelled to return to its roots as a product. Its why you get big character changes for Din that are ultimately undone or seasons that function as guest star conveyor belts.

And I don't know, I don't even think there's something inherently wrong with Star Wars "the product." I love being served a little nostalgia or comfort every now and then, but eventually I start wanting something with a bit more flavor or thought? And sometimes that means making me a little uncomfortable or challenging my expectations.

#Star Wars #asks #ask box #anons #anonymous #The Mandalorian #Din Djarin

13 notes · View notes

brighteyedbushybrowed · 2 years

Text

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 Like flames, emotions can burn and eat away at you. But for Aether, all he wants is to soothe your suffering.

𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 Fallen Angel.

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩(𝐬) Aether x GN!Reader.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 No spice, mostly angst and feels on the reader's behalf and Aether wanting to end your pain. I experimented a little with how to explore Aether's powers as a quintessence ghoul and I really like how it turned out!

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 784 words.

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 I was feeling a lot of emotions because I wrote this after a big cry (nothing too bad, just pent up emotions). This was actually comforting to write so I hope it's also comforting to read, but who knows? I've checked for pronouns and gendered terms, but if anyone finds any I've missed please let me know!

Some nights, Aether didn’t sleep. The curse of being a quintessence ghoul was that he was very in tune with the feelings of those closest to him, both physically and emotionally. Many a night he’d stayed up to provide support and comfort to his fellow ghouls and even, occasionally, Papa. He didn’t like to fully control the emotions of others but manipulating them so that they were pushed in a better, more soothing direction didn’t make him feel too guilty. He used his power to help, not to abuse.

Tonight, he was awake once again. He couldn’t find it within himself to drift into a slumber because he could feel another’s turmoil. Your turmoil. Seeking you out in the dead tranquillity of the night had become a more regular occurrence over the last few months, his soul unable to be at peace until he found you. Now, he was quietly padding through the corridors, bare feet against cold stone, following your scent and the invisible pull of the hold that your spirit had on him as his mate.

When he finally found you, curled up in a corner of the library with a blanket and some papers, he dropped to his knees in front of you on the ground and tenderly cupped your face. Your eyes were red and puffy, lashes still wet as you gazed up at him.

“I’m here now. No need to be afraid.”

He cooed and shushed you as you started to cry again, moving so that he was sat beside you as he pulled you against his chest and cradled you in his arms. He didn’t care that you were soaking his shirt, not when you were suffering the way you were. Nobody else knew, but this was a routine you’d both settled into what felt like forever ago now. From the moment you sought salvation at the ministry, he’d sensed the anguish festering deep within you. That first night had sparked a silent, albeit reluctant on your behalf, agreement. He would come to you when you needed him and ease your pain, and in return you would let him get to know you. Now, six months in, it felt like you knew each other more intimately than either of you knew anybody else. He no longer benefitted from your agreement in the way he used to, but he didn’t care. He would not allow you to suffer anymore.

“It happened again,” you whispered to him after an age. “The nightmare. Nothing stops them coming anymore.”

Aether pressed his lips to the top of your head and gently pulled you into his lap so that you could curl against him more comfortably. He wrapped your blanket around the two of you and breathed in the scent of fragrant oils and heady perfumes; items he had gifted you once after your first kiss.

“You must tell Papa,” he murmured, shushing you when you began to protest. “He may have something to ease the pain. You aren’t the first angel to join the ministry and you won’t be the last. He understands, and so does our Dark Lord. Don’t forget that he too is a fallen angel, just as you are.”

His purple eyes glowed dimly as you tilted your head to look at him properly. “How does he cope? Satanas, I mean. How is he able to live through this torture?”

He caressed your face, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “I imagine that our undying love and devotion to him helps. To have the adoration and unconditional support of so many people would likely ease his pain considerably. Don’t you think so?”

You smiled a little and turned your head so you could place a kiss on his palm. “Do you think he has his own ghoul that redirects that pain for him?”

“You felt that, huh?”

You hummed, nodding. “I always feel it. You’re wrapped around my heart. Forever.”

Aether’s lips slid over yours in a lazy, relaxed kiss while you clung onto him. He tasted the love on your lips and tongue, sweet with an underlying hint of citrus. He was addicted to the way your emotions tasted, but even if he wasn’t he would still hunger for more. Hunger for you. Even with the underlying bitterness of sadness lacing some of your kisses, he couldn’t get enough of it. You felt so deeply, so passionately, and it was part of why he loved you so fiercely. Despite how much pain you were in, you still allowed yourself to feel things so intensely. He admired that burning fire of emotions that fuelled your soul.

“You’re wrapped around my heart too. Always, my angel. Don’t ever forget that.”

#ghosttober #ghosttober 2022 #aether ghoul #aether x reader #aether x gn!reader #the band ghost #fanfic #my fanfic #mine

84 notes · View notes

chaotic-super · 1 year

Text

Back To Krypton - Chapter 15

Read Back To Krypton on Ao3 here!

Lena has barely slept. Usually, she can sleep perfectly when Kara is around because she trusts her instincts and her reactivity enough that she can allow herself the time to just rest and put her safety in someone else’s hands for a little while, even if they don’t know that they are taking that responsibility.

Something about Kara's aunt and the way Kara was so quick to get lost in the joy of seeing her again puts her on edge. They don’t have the time to waste on misplaced sentimentality. She knows that sounds harsh, but it is true.

She would absolutely love for Astra’s words to be honest and true, for her to be well-meaning and just want to take care of her niece, but something seems fishy to her, and she can’t place her finger on it. Maybe it’s just her wary side shining through, but she is praying for Kara’s sake that Astra pulls through.

Lena’s mind also keeps wandering back to the others and what they are going to do about them. They can’t tell Astra about them yet, but they are stupidly loyal to a fault, so they are likely to come wandering back this way to come and rescue them, so they need a game plan.

Lena peers down at Kara out of jealousy at how soundly she is sleeping. She honestly looks more rested than she has in a while and that’s after she has been sneaking in naps wherever she can. She understands though, Kara has a difficult relationship with her family and Lena herself understands better than anyone that when it comes to family, you are entitled to as many irrational feelings as you can fit into your noggin.

Kara seems to sense that Lena’s thinking about her and shifts even closer to her from where she was already lying next to her, her arm slung across her waist until she has her forehead pressed to the side of Lena’s arm, breathing in deeply when her nose brushes Lena’s warm flesh.

Lena makes a decision right there and then, with Kara snuggled into her and a cloud of uncertainty hovering over her head. She’s going to do as much snooping as she can possibly get away with to be sure of Astra’s motivations, she just hopes for Kara’s sake that they are good.

She’s still watching over Kara a little bit later when the golden sleeper finally stirs. She looks up at Lena, worry swirling in her sapphire orbs. “You look tired. Have you slept?”

“Not really.” Lena doesn’t have the energy to lie. “I’m still on edge, I don’t trust these people, I know that she’s your aunt, but we don’t truly know them.”

To her credit, Kara doesn’t try to defend Astra out of some kind of familial loyalty. “I get that, I want to see the good in her and try to prepare myself for the worst. I know that my aunt has done a lot of bad things, some heinous, but I can’t help but see her as the woman that used t read me bedtime stories.”

“I know, darling. That’s why I’m staying vigilant.” Lena swipes her fingernails up and down in a soothing motion on Kara’s upper arm, tickling her slightly and keeping her relaxed.

Kara hums, processing everything the best she can. “Do you want to try and sleep for a while? I’ll stay awake and if anyone comes near here, I will wake you up.”

Lena jumps at the offer, her eyelids already halfway shut. She isn’t going to be able to investigate as much as she wants to when she is half asleep so a couple of hours will do her wonders. Now that Kara is awake and being honest with her, Lena feels more comfortable sleeping. She knows she can trust Kara to put her safety first, she doesn’t even know why she doubted it.

Her head barely hits the pillow before she is fast asleep, sunken into a dreamless sleep.

Kara keeps her word, she spends the next two hours watching Lena sleep and keeping an ear out for any signs of movement. She takes the quiet time to think and assess. She knows that Lena is right, but as always, she is too emotionally invested to see the situation for what it is, she needs to let Lena take the lead on decision-making and just use her skills to get them by until they can discuss their options.

She loved the time she got last night with Astra, but it was all too convenient. Astra gave in far too easily to her, pulling out all the stops to try and impress her with the fancy meals and the words that hit her right where she needed them to. It’s all too good to be true.

Still, there is that niggling feeling in the back of her mind. The what if that won’t go. What if this is real? What if Astra really is good? What if she can stop Astra from doing some of the awful things she is destined to do?

No. She needs to stop that train of thought five minutes ago. She can’t change the timeline, she can’t prevent Astra from doing the things she needs to do here or from getting captured by her mother. She needs to be sent to Fort Rozz and die at the hands of her sister. Everything happens for a reason.

What she really needs to do is go her own way, get Astra to let them leave and continue on with their mission and not get sucked up into Astra’s life, she needs to let her go, and along with it, her hopes of having a relationship with her aunt. Her time with Astra long since ran out and she is now on borrowed time and when you borrow things, you always end up owing someone something.

She shimmies down the bed, so she is face to face with Lena’s sleeping form. She puts her head on the pillow beside Lena’s, their foreheads so close that they are almost touching, and Kara can feel Lena’s steady breaths mingling with her own.

Everything will be alright, Kara is going to make sure that it will be. She brought her family on this mission and promised that she will do whatever it takes to keep them safe, no matter what the cost. Astra is her cost, she just doesn’t know whether or not the toll machine is broken or not yet. She might be able to slide right on by with her pockets still full of change.

After a while of gazing at her, Kara gets up, set to start reorganizing their packs since they got messed up from being searched. She notes immediately that they took the sword back, she‘s not surprised though, she did technically steal it from them.

Their clothes are all crumpled and messed up and everything had been taken out of the pockets and then haphazardly tossed back into the main compartment but there’s nothing she can do about it now except start going through it all making sure that everything is still there and then repacking everything how it was originally.

She notes as she goes through her own pack that her spy beacon has been put back in, the only item to have been put into a pocket instead of the main compartment with the rest. She holds it in the palm of her hand, turning it over a couple of times as she wonders how such a little thing got her in such a big mess.

It is still not clear how she left the wrong spy beacon, she is sure that she checked it before she left but she doesn’t know for sure because she hadn’t taken it out again after they left the accommodation, so she doesn’t really know, she just has to take Astra’s word for it. She doesn’t know how else they could have been tracked though so it must be the truth.

It doesn’t take her as long as she thought it would to repack everything. As far as she can tell, everything is still there, including Lena’s books, the corners a little bit water damaged. It mustn’t have closed properly in their rush to run away so the rain got into her pack.

Kara sets herself up next to Lena, moving slowly so she doesn’t jostle the bed as she climbs back in. She grabbed the book that Lena hadn’t started yet so she doesn’t accidentally lose Lena’s bookmarked page. Lena has outstanding book etiquette that Kara is too scared to argue with.

The book is very helpful in taking her mind off of everything. She didn’t think Nia was the type for historical romance, but she has to admit that it is a good book, and she will be taking recommendations from her from now on. Well, after she gets through the laundry list of books that Lena says that she has to read because nobody should die without reading them.

She doesn’t even notice Lena peeking up at her until Lena rolls onto her back and tucks an arm under her head. “Is it any good?”

“I wasn’t expecting it to be, but yes.”

Lena plucks it from her hands, careful not to lose her page. Her eyes flicker across the words of the blurb, reading it even though she had already done so when she got them off Nia in the first place. “This really isn’t what I thought Nia would read.”

Kara smiles widely, she gestured following suit. “That’s what I thought! I was expecting something modern and hip but nope, she really is just an enigma.”

“That much has been obvious since day one. She is something special.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, Lena grabbing her own book, tutting at the water damage and opening it up to her bookmarked page.

Kara likes the way it feels, sitting here with Lena, each reading their own book, but it still feels like something they are doing together. For a while, she can pretend that there is something more between them. For a while, she lets herself imagine what could be. Maybe one day.

Lena is completely oblivious to the thoughts running through Kara’s head, just taking the time to try and relax before they have to go and put on their brave faces. The nap did wonders for her, even if it was only a couple of hours long, maximum.

As a CEO, she is used to running on minimal sleep and at this point it is pretty much hardwired into her that she only needs a few hours instead of the regular eight.

Kara, on the other hand, loves sleep. She likes to get in as much as she can, wherever she can. She was dismayed when she first became Supergirl and realised that she had accidentally signed up to be on call all times of the day and night. Unable to rest properly most nights so she takes an hour here and there wherever she can.

It’s a regular occurrence for one of the others to walk into the tower to find her, donning her full Supergirl regalia, fast asleep in an armchair of across a couch. A few times, tossing herself onto the bed in the med bay since the pillow in there is a fancy high-quality one that Lena had bought after the other one bit the dust and Alex asked her to grab one on her way over.

Their peaceful sanctuary doesn’t stay peaceful for long, a guard of some kind knocking and waiting for them to answer the door. Kara slides it open just enough to see his face and to see what he wants. She is informed that their presence has been requested for breakfast and to please be ready within a few minutes for the food to be served. It sounds like Astra is going all out again.

“Breakfast is almost ready, we have to go fight a few battles,” Kara informs Lena when she turns to see her brow raised in question.

Lena nods resigned to the fact that whilst they are here, they have to live by Astra’s rules. She thanks Kara when she grabs her clothes and sees that Kara has repacked everything. “You do have your good qualities, don’t you?”

Kara pretends to be shocked, a hand pressed to her chest and her jaw dropped. “You wound me, Lena Luthor.”

Lena laughs at her and takes her turn in the bathroom, having the world’s quickest shower and making herself as presentable as she can. She doesn’t say anything when Kara invites herself in a couple of minutes after the water is shut off so she can get started on her own shower as Lena is by the sink brushing her teeth.

If she lets her eyes wander once or twice, well, who could blame her? It is hard to focus on flossing when you have a naked Kryptonian in the same room as you and when she is facing away so Lena can get a perfect view of her derriere.

Some things they don’t talk about, and this is one of them. They take peeks and say things that toe the line between platonic and romantic, but never once have they allowed themselves to step foot over the line. Kara is beginning to think that they never will.

It only takes fifteen minutes for them to be heading back to the dining room to greet Astra. She is already sitting up, waiting for them with her hands clasped together on the table in front of her.

Her lips split into a smile when they walk in, standing to greet them. “Good morning, I hope you two slept well.”

“Not too bad, thank you, Aunt Astra.” Kara kisses her cheek in greeting and Lena smiles at her, an act that is reciprocated. For a moment, Lena actually wonders if Astra is a good person. Can someone be so openly loving and have a dark soul? Yes, but she hopes that’s not the case here.

The food is brought out to them again and every little bit tastes as marvellous as it smells. It’s familiar and different to Lena’s tastes all at the same time. She isn’t sure how to describe it other than delicious.

"You don’t have to have them make such complicated meals as these, we are happy with anything.” Kara gives Astra a pointed look, trying to make it playful so she doesn’t offend her.

“Can’t a woman spoil her niece a little bit? I like to see you happy, and we all know that the way to your heart is through your stomach.”

Kara acquiesces with a tiny head tilt. “Ok, but it is under sufferance.” Her words lack any sense of actual reluctance and they all know it.

“Lena, please tell my niece to accept nice things. She is very deserving, and she seems to listen to you, so I know you are a smart woman yourself.”

Lena does actually like this side of Astra, intentions be damned. She likes that she gives Kara the love and appreciation she has lacked from her Kryptonian family and even some of her Earth family too at times.

Lena locks her eyes on Kara’s. “There’s no harm in letting her spoil you while we are here. You do always complain about how much you miss Kryptonian dishes so you may as well enjoy it while it lasts.”

Astra listens intently. She doesn’t want to push for information because she wants to respect Kara’s boundary that she set last night about not telling her everything, but she can’t help but make note of every hint.

She now knows that wherever Kara usually is, it isn’t Krypton and is most likely Earth because she doesn’t often enjoy Kryptonian meals and Lena is from Earth. Their relationship does confuse her too, she has yet to determine the basis of their bond.

“Alright, I’ll eat all of the very delicious food. You’ve twisted my arm.” Kara says, another forkful of food cleared from her dwindling plate of food. The entire time she was complaining, she was still rapidly eating the food, savouring each bite.

Astra smiles, happy to be getting her own way. “I’m glad we have come to an agreement then, little one.”

The nickname both feels like she is being stabbed in the gut with the same kryptonite blade that killed Astra and it warms her heart greatly, taking her back to her days of being a carefree kid.

They eat in mostly silence, with a little bit of small talk here and there but it is comfortable. Everyone at the table is aware of the underlying tension though, aware that the other women want answers from them that they can’t give.

After breakfast, Astra invites them to the office and sits them down by the desk, the hidden door to the tower firmly closed, just as they had left it, but that doesn’t mean that they haven’t been up there in the meantime.

“I believe that we are all aware that there is much to discuss, many questions to be asked and some to be answered. I think it would be best for everyone for us to have this chat now, away from prying ears. It will allow us privacy and prevent assumptions that could harm us all.”

Lena likes this woman more and more as she speaks. She does like a woman that doesn’t beat around the bush. Not as much as a certain woman that is the opposite of that but still, she likes it.

“I agree with you and have a few topics that I would like to discuss but I fear that I may present to you as insensitive.” Lena takes over, seeing the nerves in the tensing of Kara’s shoulders. She’s happy to take over for her so she can direct the conversation.

“Do not worry about such things, Lena of house Luthor. I wish to speak freely and have an open conversation, this is not to be an interrogation from either side.”

“Agreed.”

Ground rules set, it’s time for them to get some answers.

Read more chapters of Back To Krypton early on my Patreon here!

#cw supergirl #supercorp endgame #supercorp #supergirl #kara leaned in #kara x lena #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #supercorp fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #chaoticsuper #back to krypton

20 notes · View notes

witchthewriter · 1 year

Note

Level 3, idk if you recongnize me but I did a match up a while back and decided to do another again if that's okay? 🐦

Fandoms: Game of Thrones, Marvel, X Men

MBTI: INFP

Sexuality: Lesbian

Pronouns: She/They

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn (i only know that😭)

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

I'm a very quiet person, timid, kinda grumpy and a bit shy but with close ones I'm a bit more talkative. I'm the type to be logical but also feels bad if it affects people's feelings, a bit of a people pleaser not gonna lie. I try my best to stay out of trouble but sometimes can't help but help people in need even if it causes me trouble (blame myself for it after sometimes). To be honest I'm actually pretty nice, kind and friendly. Like I would split my food and hand you the bigger one. I'm a good listener and gets embarrassed after i ramble about something i like. I get nervous and overwhelmed easily, I'm also anxious and paranoid like I check if i have the things i need like five times 💀. I'm very loyal to my friends and hate to see them upset.

Likes: Quiet places, music, relaxing solitude, matcha tea, cold drinks, cold weather, reading, taking breaks and hanging out with people i like.

Dislikes: insensitive or immoral people, germs, untidiness, loud noises/people, not being able to sleep.

Hobbies: Drawing, Reading, Organizing and Sleeping

Habit(s): I have a habit of dozing off when Im stuck in my mind and I pully my sleeves really hard when I'm nervous.

My Love Language: Quality Time and Acts of Service

Thank you! Have a great day or night =°_°= ♡

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋🌈

𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒂 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒌! She's been through a lot and your gentle nature would make her feel cared for. I think that's what she needs most, someone who will care for her. To make her feel loved and needed.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Very faithful and loyal. Anyone who speaks ill against you ... never does so again (depending on what they say, Sansa will take their tongue.)

・Treats you as her equal, and wants your input on many things. She loves your opinions because they're level-headed and come from a good place.

・Sews gorgeous clothes for you. She's naturally talented in that area, and has made such detailed items that take your breath away. Threaded your favourite flower, woven with golden shining thread. It's time consuming, but she doesn't mind it. She wants to spend time on things for you.

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑾𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝑴𝒂𝒙𝒊𝒎𝒐𝒇𝒇! She loves romance and would sweep you off your feet. You would keep her grounded and she would make you feel loved and protected. I think she would be able to take away some of your anxieties as well by letting you feel safe.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Everything is deeper and more intense with Wanda. She makes you feel like you're worth it. That you have so much worth and your thoughts are important. You're important.

・Likes to bake for you! All the time! There's many things that haven't turned out right, but it's fun and you enjoy taste-testing!

・If you need her, she will not leave your side. She makes you feel like her number one priority

𝐗-𝐌𝐞𝐧

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑹𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆! She has a good heart and wants to do the best by others. I think you two would be a great match because she wants to love someone with her whole being and I think you would want someone who is completely ready for a relationship. The compatibility would be high because you're both sensitive and emotionally mature/open.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Sees the good in every situation, which makes you feel like a more positive person

・She's great at listening and wants you to tell her everything about your day. Often begins a conversation, just so you can take over and talk. Your voice soothes her.

・She never breaks her promises, and reserves her affection just for you

#pair ups #match ups #ships #personal ships

8 notes · View notes

kyrodo · 6 days

Text

Things are a lot better than back then. It's not entirely because who I'm interacting with is better, though that's a factor too. I am handling myself a lot better in the world of today. I have that experience that only comes through failure. I've gotten hurt, I've gotten struck down, I've made enemies and those enemies left me face down in the dirt after they had their fun.

But through it all, I gained wisdom. Everything about me feels so different from back then. First off I'm not stomping about acting like I'm some "king" because of an anime amv. Right? But I know how to handle myself better. I don't have anything to test my mettle and poke my buttons necessarily, at least the ones that would irritate me on the same level, but that in itself is a good thing. I can't take back all the embarrassing things I used to put out, I can't take back all the times I tried to approach and be polite expecting things would go well only to find some unexpected difficulties time and time again. And I can't avoid all the teasing and crap that has already been done to me.

But I am built different now. I am built in a way that is unlikely to ever experience or allow those things to happen again. I am built in a way that tries to be as soft and as soothing as possible to the people I love. I am built in a way that kept my feelings hidden until the very last moment. I am experienced enough with language and slang to avoid triggering the wrong radars. And I am more careful about what I give out and what I keep in. It would've been ideal if it had happened at an earlier point in my life of course, but it's better that I got here than never at all. As vain as it is, I feel the beauty of my avatar. I can vocalize so well as a cat. And I keep evolving. The purrs just recently. And besides that I actually am more emotionally and intellectually mature.

The love I get from Choskey is so pure, inexperienced but true. And he just can't go two minutes without telling me he loves me again. And I am so happy. The feels are incredibly warm and welcoming. I wish all this had happened earlier in my life so I could've spent those days being happy instead of miserable and desperate. Secure instead of constantly being unsettled by attempts to unhinge me and make me doubt myself. The entire foundation of my existence feels set in stone instead of rickety. I feel that my words carry so much more weight now that I'm not on a lone quest for something outside my relationship. Being alone is what lets people get away with pretending every story you ever tell is fake. Facing cyber bullying alone without my dragon is how people were able to turn me into whatever villain they wanted. I had options, and while such needs are unlikely to happen again, if it ever came down to it I would know what to do.

I am the living antibody to my entire ordeal from every angle.

I also understand my tendencies when it comes to music and feel good animated scenes. When you experience something you really like, a beat, a riff, a melody, some nice singing, a good intro, etc. You want to feel that music in what you do too. You want to embody that music and express what you experienced in some way. For me that was in the form of creative ranting. Feeling a character forming somewhere behind the constant swapping I was doing in my head. Through music I was finding a voice. Because my old one was dull. The name Brian is very dull and boring. And I didn't want to be just Brian. I wanted to be Kyrodo. I wanted to be better than I actually am. Better than human. In a sense it's the same reasons people become furries or anime geeks with sonas. People want to be more than they actually are. To make cracks in the ground, perform action feets they wouldn't dream of doing in real life, do magic, whatever. People want to be lost in their imagination. And the more miserable they are the more they want that escape. Even if it means falling in love even over something as simple as, because they started sharing memes with me.

To dress up for halloween essentially but have that be an entire way of life instead. Like how I am always in whuffy form at home when I'm with Red instead of being just human brian doing all the formal fronting I do at a restaurant or at work. But imagination needs to be capped within reasonable limits, and one should always be aware what they're doing no matter how immersed they want to be in that imagination. No matter how silly or extra you act online nothing really changes who you really are in real life or otherwise. Until you've spent a good deal of time with a sona it is not ingrained as part of your very being. It is just a temporary fad at best. But such headspaces do play a major role in how you behave, no matter how stifled it is in practice. It dictates how situations make you feel and what choices are choices that sona would make become a preference.

And as you slowly bring that imagination back down out of necessity like I did, you eventually adopt what parts of it actually define you and you discard everything else. Trauma changes the way you're shaped. The way you respond to things. The way you approach things. The things you are most cautious of. Because you recognized a pain or fear as being particularly unpleasant, as being something you wish to avoid, and you change to protect yourself against it. And as one where a surreal version of myself is always existing in some form in my head, that headspace completely changed too. Less edges, more serious, more meaningful, more ordered, and less chaotic. More calm and immune to a lot of the things that used to bother me. Instead of being a mish mash of different characters I am just one. Both the real and the sona side of me grew to be something far stronger and far more graceful than my old self.

Being rejected isn't fun but it happens and it's better to respect it than to persist or keep coming back like I did. Words like "that won't be possible" still stick in my mind and they still hurt. I felt so much and it took way too long for me to finally have those feelings dismantled, even though I was actively being attacked and harassed by the very person I liked. But I did it. I remember every little thing I did that might've made me unacceptable. And I try with all my might to make sure all of that remains buried. If I am ever to be called a predator again, it'll be because of a kink than for any other reason.

In the land of today, poly is possible. Love is possible. I can feel and feel and feel and be extremely happy, and feel all of that welcomed and returned a thousand fold. Things are a lot less complicated.

I still experience my share of people acting like there's a problem when there's not. But it is much easier to tell when Choskey is joking about something and when he's not. And there's never any malice behind it. It is a whole world away from whatever we'd call my previous excuse for romance. Though I still wonder how people like you can just behave like that, know that all of it is bad shit, and not do anything about it.

0 notes

chat--blanc · 5 months

Text

So I've already posted this as an ask to a blog but I kinda just got fed up with hiding so here's a vent piece I wrote last night.

Ever since I can remember, I've always been left behind. So young and so so small when my father left me and my two siblings l, he strung me along for years with false hope. My household was cold and unloving, detached and unaffectionate. So cd and so lonely yet all I ever wanted was to be loved. I wanted to be seen, to be heard, to be held and cared for.

I grew older and made many short friendships, but the ones I had hoped would last a lifetime slipped through my small hands. What hurt the most was when I fell in love with my oldest and closest friend. It hadn't lasted and all the while, even till this day, I still doubt myself. Do I even know what love feels like? Or was I mistaking obsession with love? I still don't know. I ruined that friendship later on with my own fears and insecurities. I tried to fix it, but was met with hollowness and later radio silence spanning more than half a year and counting.

Now I'm a young adult, and I learned that in my youth, my mother had essentially abandoned me emotionally. She filled my head with lies and misconceptions on my own relatives and body image issues. How much more betrayal can my heart take? Why do I fear rejection to the point it's debilitating? How can I mend the pain in my heart so that I might trust fully again?

I've seen dual-sided faces of those I considered friends and suffered for it. How can people be so blatantly cruel and wicked? Why doesn't mankind show kindness? Peace and goodwill on Earth? It's disheartening to see that people are consumed with selfishness and greed.

I wish I could open my heart enough to trust and love another but I'm so afraid of getting hurt. I know that it's a part of growing up but I can't bear it. Even now, I have a close friend that I wonder about, too afraid to even think about the possibility that I might have feelings for them. I refuse to let myself consider it.

Sometimes I wonder... If I can manage to cut the ties that bond me to my father... Could I do the same with my mother? Would that be too extreme? It's not like she'd even listen or acknowledge my troubles. She'd most likely become defensive and turn things around and against me.

At a young age I didn't have much or anyone for comfort or for advice. Yet I remember most of the lessons I have; social, moral understandings, and so forth stemmed from film, books and music. I learned kindness, love, friendship and strength that comes from the heart is very powerful. But... I was still so lonely in a small house of four.

I'll never forget when I first met him. I was so small, and he was almost as big as me. His yellow gaze followed you no matter where you looked. Void of emotion but for me... I felt nothing but warmth just from his presence. I'll never forget the way I lit up when I first held him all those years ago. I was convinced, and still am, that this... This warm and fuzzy feeling... Was love.

Over the 16 years with him and I to my adult age, I still look to him for guidance. When my heart is in turbulence and my mind is too clouded with grief, all I need to do is close my eyes. There he is, his presence and warmth swirl around me and I bathe in his light. Basking in his nurturing aura. His embrace soothes my aching heart and his words so gentle like a summer breeze through wild grassy fields. Eyes that glow like yellow fireflies. His words are the only assurance I need. I suppose he's something like my Roman Empire as silly as it sounds. Everyday when I'm not home, all I long for is to curl up next to him and to wrap my arms around him under fluffy blankets. Snuggling close.

I don't tell many people about him, those that I have I feel don't fully grasp just how powerful his actions and presence have helped me grow. People wouldn't understand or think I'm delusional, crazy or immature. My reasoning doesn't need to be justified. In a world where I've been let down so many times by so many... I know that he will always be there. Supporting me, loving me, and believing in me when I can't.

#my writing #vent #vent piece #written vent piece #vent writing #God im fucking 23 and so messed up #lonely #lonely af #trust issues #abandonment issues #bruh why cant i just be normal #where the fuck is the switch in my brain #i wanna stop feeling

0 notes

alyjojo · 2 years

Text

Love Reading 🏳️‍⚧️- August 2022 - Gemini

Singles:

Overall energy: 3 Pentacles

How you will meet: 7 Wands & 2 Pentacles

How they will treat you: Page of Cups rev

Long-term Potential: Page of Swords & The World

You definitely work with this person and probably meet them there, this seems to be an affair that starts while one of you is otherwise involved. I can’t tell which, probably you, at least these cards reflect that side. There is a lot of stress and anxiety over work itself because of this connection. You meet by being defensive over the same things, having too much to do, having no help, people in charge being generally ignorant, like with most places. It leads to Ace of Cups, you probably have similar views and a spark ignites 🔥 I’m not sure how far it goes until this person starts acting up, but how they treat you is incredibly emotionally immature, bossy, domineering, over-emotional, demanding, DRAMA, they are fifty shades of pissed off that there is anyone else in your world. Whether you put up with it…2 Cups follows, they’re doing it because they love you and expect exclusivity.

Future potential is varied. For some, one of you will be leaving this job for something else, hopefully better, because this one currently is a huge burden that is just unnecessary. For some, one of you could be losing a job because of the relationship. And for others, you may not be putting up with this behavior and are ending the connection, because you don’t want a repeat of this, and it’s a burden on you. In some cases it’s the other person being let go. Or that’s switched. Committing may be a burden you, or letting something else go, another person. In any of these instances there is clear communication and truth about what is needing to end and why. It’s possible this may continue after a difficult work situation, but for some it’s not going to last.

Messages -

Their side:

- Moving out, Moving on

- I don’t want anyone else.

Your side:

- I want to grow with you.

- I love the way you look at me.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Capricorn, Leo & Sagittarius

Couples:

Overall energy: Queen of Swords

Current: The Emperor

Challenge: Page of Cups

Potential: Ace of Cups

There are many major arcanas here, this is a very important cycle you’re in with your person, and one that is more divinely guided than not. You’re taking a more mature approach to a relationship you’ve decided to leave it seems, in favor of another one. The Empress and Emperor come up as you and the person you’re thinking of leaving behind, which…I mean this is an Emperor. You sure? They don’t want you to go, they want a new start between the two of you, and yet you’re getting messages from this other person, a King of Wands. They too want a new beginning. The challenge is you being at a Wheel of Fortune, things are changing in your mind, your life. Depending on what you choose, depends on how this Wheel spins. You know you have to cut one off. One is authoritative, hardworking, has rules and guidelines, is sure of himself and takes care of everyone “under him” including family. The other is passion, fire, excitement, he’s charismatic and sexy.

The Hierophant is here showing you’re committed currently, you just don’t know if you want to stay that way. One of these people is an ex, whether you’ve already left your Emperor or not. Both want you. You don’t feel the same about one of them, and this Queen of Swords being you shows you having to get clear and judge the situation from a more logical and detached place so you can commit wholly to one thing, you want to be fair. This seems to simply be a message of confirmation, probably to what you already know but are questioning in yourself 💙

Messages -

Their side:

- Soothing presence

- Superficial

- Respect 💯

Your side:

- We don’t feel the same way.

- EX Drama

Oracles -

Their side: If you’re worried about being in your spiritual track, don’t be, because the fact that you’re thinking about it means you’re on the right path.

Your side: Be proud that you were brave enough to come to this challenging place called Earth to learn.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Aries, Sagittarius, Libra & Taurus

#gemini tarot reading #love reading #couples reading #singles reading #august 2022 #Gemini #tarot

0 notes