#Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

[insidesmatch]

Tips For Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

Are you frustrated with dating or want to stop repeating the same patterns in all your relationships? We have a solution for you!

We all have patterns and bring them into our relationships until we become aware of them and break them. Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns can be difficult, but it is possible with dedication and effort.

Here are some tips that may help you in breaking unhealthy relationship patterns:

Identify the patterns: Take some time to reflect on your past relationships and identify any unhealthy patterns that may have emerged.

This could include attachment patterns, compulsive tendencies, codependency, or toxic communication. Understand the root causes: It's important to understand the underlying reasons for these patterns, which may be related to past experiences or learned behaviors.

Seek professional help: Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who can help you work through past experiences and develop healthier relationship habits.

Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally can help you build self-esteem and break free from unhealthy patterns.

Focus on healthy communication: Communication is key in any relationship, and focusing on healthy communication habits can help you build stronger, more positive connections.

Remember that breaking unhealthy relationship patterns takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. You can build positive, fulfilling relationships that support your growth and well-being by identifying your patterns, understanding the root causes, and working on healthy habits. Insidesmatch can help you figure out the root causes of these patterns and provide you with the tools to break them. Visit our website for further information if you'd like it.

#Relationship #Breaking Unhealthy #toxic relationships #relationship #Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

[conscious-love]

BellaLoveCoach ~ Twitter

#Bella Love Coach #iamstrongallonmyown #loneliness #lonely #breaking patterns #toxic love #unhealthy relationship #don’t go back #leaving #relationship #love #breakup #heartbreak #moving on #recovery #healing

[starrg1rl]

Random Astrology Notes !!

Ps im not a professional astrologer, I’ve just been in this community for 4 years and read A LOT about the topic.

Tw 18+

The moon represents our emotional and internal persona, how and why we react in certain situation when it comes to feelings, so speaking of sexuality it can say a lot about the mental role we take on during sex emotionally. For example Virgo, Cancer Moon best express themselves as Subs, or Aries, Capricorn moon as Doms. Relevant aspects can influence this (Moon-Pluto is screaming BDSM).

Gemini Risings have a very distinguished smile or laugh, when they’re laughing their mouth is wider showing more teeth, in particular canines. It could be more open because of a raised upper lip or a visible gum. Nevertheless they have a beautiful foxy smile.

My god the power that Moon conjunct Venus women hold. My best friend has this exactly in 8th degree Virgo and I can guarantee u in all the years I’ve known her almost every guy around fell for her. She’s so likable although she doesn’t even have an outgoing personality, her vibe just gives off pure femininity (mother 🙇‍♀️). Plus the Moon being her chart ruler, it really influences her character. This aspect indicates to be considered conventionally/generally beautiful in a feminine way.

Venus opposite Pluto 🖤 : This aspect brings intensity, power play, obsession in the planet Venus themes. First experiences of love and relationship feel like a f roller coaster controlled by a drunk maniac. When excitement is at its highest peak they’re completely infatuated, devoted and worship their partner. Love is a forever life or death deal for them. But if things start to go downhill it’s bad bad. First of all Venus-Pluto people are PRONE to toxicity and mental games. If not mature enough, they will not leave because it exalts them, masochism and self destructive tendencies are not uncommon with this aspect (not to mention the delusional and idolizing ones). Especially when they’re fond of someone it will be very hard to leave because they are deep down convinced that the unhealthy partner is still the right person. And once they leave it literally feels like a death (Pluto theme), if they don’t have any control of the situation the grief and hurt will make them miserable. This is a recipe for disaster therefore hate is all that’s left, and rarely this relationships will end in good terms. So to sum up, Venus opposite Pluto are extremely passion driven and intense people, that need to be more aware of their impulses and unhealthy patterns. The opposition could be harsh, indicating external conflicts and separation difficult to balance, but offers opportunities to personal development and transformation when navigated consciously. LOVE YALL (ex. Beabadoobee had a rough break up that end up with her ex getting with her friend)

#moonconjunctvenus #gemini rising #venuspluto #venusoppositepluto #astro notes #astro community #astro observations

[theambitiouswoman]

Journal prompts

What are some aspects of yourself that you try to hide or suppress?

When have you felt the most ashamed or embarrassed about yourself?

What are some patterns in your life that you wish you could break?

What are some beliefs you have about yourself that limit you?

What are some fears that hold you back from reaching your full potential?

What are some unresolved emotional wounds from your past that still affect you?

What are some negative self-talk or thought patterns that you engage in?

What are some ways in which you self-sabotage?

What are some unhealthy coping mechanisms you turn to when feeling overwhelmed or stressed?

What are some relationships or people in your life that trigger negative emotions or behaviors in you?

#self love journey #journal #level up journey #feminine journey #shadow work

[dreamcubed]

i don't wanna live forever | mattheo riddle x reader

song; i don't wanna live forever [taylor swift, zayn] pairing; mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw!reader genre; ex2l, reconciliation, ex-lovers, angst, smut, hurt comfort(ish) word count; 2,8k timeline; half-blood prince  warnings; swearing, toxic relationship, jealousy, controlling behaviour, mattheo is not a good person, neither is y/n, borderline cheating (not on y/n or mattheo), smoking, alcohol consumption, drunkenness, arguments, drunk sex, piv, fingering, degradation, ass-slapping summary; ever since you began dating, you and mattheo had been a fiery and toxic mess of breaking up and getting back together - only, when you finally try and date someone else, you realise that you miss and crave the unhealthy pattern that came with mattheo riddle

MINORS DNI! 18+ content.

i don't typically write smut but this oneshot felt incomplete without it. so, enjoy... 2 year anniversary & 1k celebration gift haha

masterlist

"wondering if i dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life."

——————————————

"I mean, why did you even date him in the first place?" Cho asked you, chewing on a chip, "He's literally You-Know-Who's son."

You sighed, used to this conversation from every person you knew, "You can't judge someone by their parents."

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Cho, his dad went MIA for thirteen years when he was one and his mum was in prison until last year. He hardly knows them."

"But," she said, "He was raised by the Malfoys and he was sorted into Slytherin."

You rolled your eyes.

She shrugged, "I'm just saying, the red flags were there."

You didn't reply, moving your gaze over to the group of Slytherin boys sat laughing with each other while they ate. Your ex-boyfriend, Mattheo Riddle, was sat among them.

It felt too definitive saying ex, however, since you two broke up and made up constantly, and had for the last year and a half, much to your friends' horror. You argued with him, you cried over him, you talked shit about him - but you loved him. And the love you had was a burning flame of passion, but it wasn't healthy. You had broken up a week ago, which was actually the longest you had gone without talking.

Normally, you would have caved by now, but you felt different this time. You felt immensely stubborn.

"It's time you stayed apart for good," Cho said, just as Mattheo's eyes locked on to yours, "He's bad for you."

You knew she was right, which was why you accepted when a nice Hufflepuff boy asked you to Hosmeade that weekend.

***

The bouquet of pink and red flowers being presented to you really should have given you butterflies, maybe even made you squeal, but they horrified you. Nonetheless, you smiled and said, "Awh, thank you. You shouldn't have," before taking Leon's extended arm and letting him lead you to the Three Broomsticks. He pulled the chair out for you, and you forced another smile on to your face.

"I've been wanting to ask you out for ages," he said excitedly, "But you were still on and off with Riddle."

You hummed.

"I'm glad you're done with him. He didn't treat you right."

It was mutual. You were just as toxic as Mattheo.

"But I will."

"Well, thank you, Leon," you said gently, "We'll see, won't we?"

He beamed at you, "You're so beautiful."

Surely such a comment should make you blush, right?

***

"How was the date?" Cho wiggled her eyebrows back in the Ravenclaw dormitories.

"It was... good," you said, placing the flowers on your desk haphazardly.

"Just good?"

"He's really nice, I- I just..."

Cho frowned, "He's boring?"

You shook your head, "No, he's funny and interesting."

"Then what's the issue?"

You shrugged, "I don't know."

"Give him a chance then, babe."

***

Leon wrote you poems, he took you on cute dates, he fed you, he walked you to classes, and he hung off your every word. But your eyes would always linger over to Mattheo - because despite everything Leon did for you, the only time you felt butterflies anymore was when you made eye contact with your ex-boyfriend. That glittery spark had never once burnt out in those long eighteen months you were on and off. Every argument and break up only seemed to make it burn stronger and brighter.

And the thing was, Leon was too healthy for you: too sane, too trusting, too normal. Mattheo had turned you into a raging jealous monster, as you had him, and it was part of the reason you were on and off. Neither of you had ever actually cheated, but if you got too close to a boy? He would start an argument and scream at you until you yelled back that you were over. Two days later, he would corner you, never truly apologising but kissing and making up, muttering how he loved you before fucking you until the sun came up.

And you had done the same thing to him.

That was the issue with Leon: he was friends with everyone. Some of his closest friends were girls. Were you jealous? No. But you knew if you began to develop feelings for him then you would become more jealous than an innocent boy like him could handle. You would ruin him the way Mattheo ruined you, fucking him up for any future romantic endeavours.

It drove you crazy how respectful he was, how he didn't bat an eye at you saying you were going to study with a male friend. You needed more push and pull than what he was giving you: you craved a fight, because you craved the crazed passion that came with it.

Yet, three weeks passed by and Mattheo had made no effort to do anything more than glare daggers at you and Leon from across the room.

Then the Christmas holidays hit.

***

A rich Hufflepuff in your year - not Leon - was hosting a house party at their gigantic home, and you had scored an invite. In fact, so had everyone in your year, including a few people from the year above and year below. Leon had immediately owled you to say that he would pick you up before heading there, but you knew that as you patted on concealer and highlight, you were thinking about Mattheo's reaction when he saw you. He had hated when you dressed too revealing, saying that he could see guys' eyes on you - and he wasn't wrong, you just didn't care.

You had purposefully dressed yourself in a tiny black miniskirt and matching bralette, which as a combination left very little to the imagination. With the fishnets you adorned as well, it was borderline lingerie.

Maybe Leon would finally argue with you and make you feel something.

"Y/N, you look gorgeous," he beamed, not a trace of anger on his perfect face when you opened the door to him.

"Thank you," you said, fighting the urge to sigh, "You don't look so shabby yourself."

"Shall we?" he held out his hand to you, which you accepted.

***

The party was already in full swing when you arrived, and you made a quick motion to catch up by downing two shots. Leon watched you in amazement.

"You want one?" you asked, going to pour another drink.

He shook his head, "I don't drink."

"No?" you paused in your movements, thinking that maybe this would be the time you finally argued, "I drink a lot."

"Each to their own," he shrugged, "I'll look out for you."

"Thanks, then," you said awkwardly, "I'm gonna go for a smoke, you coming?" Had you partially said that as another attempt at angering him? Yes. But you also were craving nicotine.

He shook his head, "I'm good, we'll catch up in a bit, yeah?"

You nodded absently, pouring a third shot for yourself before creating a mixed drink and heading outside to the smokers' area. And, there he was, Mattheo Riddle stood with a cigarette between his lips and a drink in his hand.

Pulling out a cigarette that you had tucked in your bralette, you boldly walked up to the group of Slytherin boys and asked, "Anyone got a light?"

Nott, who was right next you, passed you his, but you never took your eyes off Mattheo. His eyes glided up and down your exposed body as you lit your cigarette and took a long drag, relishing in the taste. You watched his jaw clench.

"You and Duggard official yet?" Berkshire asked, referring to Leon. At his question, a borderline growl erupted from Mattheo.

You shrugged vaguely, "We'll see."

"Will you?" Mattheo asked coldly.

You exhaled some smoke, "Well, he's handsome, smart, funny and attentive to my every need."

"Oh, is he?" Mattheo stepped closer to you.

Chuckling, you said, "He's a very kind man."

Mattheo scoffed, pushing past you with a mutter of, "That's not what you need."

He was right, of course, but he didn't need to know that.

You turned your focus to your cigarette.

"He's not the same without you," Nott said casually, dropping his finished cigarette on the ground and stepping on it.

"No?" you murmured, a smile tugging on your lips.

"He hardly sleeps, hardly eats, is angry all the time," he continued, "So, please, stop your little charade with Duggard and get back with him already."

"Who says it's a charade?"

You heard Berkshire scoff, "C'mon, L/N, everyone sees you stare at Matt all the time. Everyone except Duggard, that is."

Biting your lip, you ashed your cigarette, "Well, maybe Riddle should man up and apologise."

***

The party raged on, and as the alcohol flowed through your system, so did the music. Leon didn't seem that keen on the party atmosphere, so you resorted to dancing with Cho and other Ravenclaw girls. That was until you felt a guy come up behind you and begin dancing with you.

You turned around to see a Gryffindor boy from the year above, and he wasn't half-bad looking, so in your drunken state you allowed it to happen. Cho gave you a sceptical look, but didn't intervene.

A hand tugged on your wrist, and you looked up to see Leon.

"Can we talk?" he mouthed, and you nodded absently, following him to the quieter room that was the kitchen.

"What?" you said a little harshly.

"I'd appreciate if you wouldn't dance with other guys," he said, his tone completely without malice.

Your instinct in these situations was to get aggravated, so you snapped, "Well, if you actually knew how to party, I wouldn't have to."

Leon stared at you blankly, "I'm sorry."

For fuck's sake, why did he have to sound so genuine?

"I'll try and come out on the dancefloor if that's what you want."

"Fucking hell," you cursed.

"What? What is it?" he sounded worried.

"Why don't you argue with me?" you exasperated, tugging at your scalp.

Leon frowned, "That's no way to resolve things."

"It's not about resolving things," you snapped, "It's about passion, it's about the spark, it's- it's..." you trailed off, "Rowena, I feel crazy."

"I understand your relationship with Riddle wasn't the easiest one, but I want to help you learn what a calm and healthy relationship is," Leon said gently, "Because you deserve better."

"Are you even listening to me?" you pulled your hands down your face, "I don't want peace. I want passion. I want twin flame bruises. I want a push and pull."

"I-"

You cut him off, "Mattheo would have beat the shit out of that guy for dancing with me."

"That guy probably didn't know you were taken-"

"Mattheo made sure that everybody knew I was his," you said firmly, feeling tears prick at your eyes, "I just need to argue, Leon - I crave it."

"Well, I can't give that to you."

"Y/N," a voice spoke in a growl behind you.

You span around, being faced with the one man who could make you feel electric. And that was when your emotions crashed all over you: upset and anger expressed through tears and yelling.

"Why are you taking so fucking long?" you screamed.

But he wasn't looking at you - no, he was glaring at Leon. "I think you've had long enough with my girl, Duggard," he drawled.

"She's not your girl anymore," you heard Leon reply, before he said to you, "What did you mean when you asked him why he's taking so long?"

You saw Mattheo clench his fist, and you grabbed his wrist to halt him, "Fucking talk to me, Riddle."

His eyes snapped to yours, "I will never be Riddle to you, princess."

"Considering we've hardly spoken the last few weeks, I'd say you are."

"Guess I'll have to remind you who you are to me, then," he chuckled darkly, pulling you away from Leon. The Hufflepuff boy went to follow you worriedly, but you glared at him and he stayed put. Part of you felt bad: a tiny, sober part.

You found yourself in an upstairs bathroom, pressed against a cool tile wall.

"If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I can't promise I'll be a good person about it."

"You're never a good person about anything," you muttered, relishing in his hot breath fanning on to your face.

He smirked, "We both know that's the way you like me."

You hummed, "Fuck me, Mattheo."

"I'm not sure you deserve a good fuck after everything you've done."

"I never fucked him."

"No?" he chuckled, "Good."

And then his lips were on yours, tasting, sucking, nibbling every centimetre. His hand quickly trailed to underneath your skirt, rubbing your clit through your scandalously thin panties.

He pulled away from the kiss, "Don't ever wear anything like this again," he kissed you again, "At least not in public."

"Whatever you want."

He hummed his approval, pushing your panties aside to push two fingers inside of you.

"Please, I just want your dick."

"Yeah?" he murmured, "How bad?"

"So bad, please," you begged, your tear and mascara stained cheeks enhancing the puppy dog eyes you gave him. Mattheo had to admit, he loved seeing you so desperate for him.

"You really don't deserve this," he sighed, unzipping his trousers.

You licked your lips as you watched him pull his rock hard dick out.

"I can't wait to feel your mouth on it again," he muttered, "But I'm feeling nice, so I'll just give you what you want."

Mattheo bent you over the sink countertop, lifting up your skirt and slapping your ass in the process. He pulled your panties further aside.

"Don't act like you don't just miss being inside me," you forced out, making him slap your ass harder.

To your surprise, he said, "Of course I fucking did."

And then he pushed inside you, quickly and without warning, causing you to gasp loudly.

"So fucking wet."

You arched your ass up to him, moaning.

"I don't think I'm gonna last long."

You were hardly able to reply, as he had begun to run circles on your clit as well. But, you agreed with him, as the absence of this feeling had made your body hypersensitive to Mattheo's every touch.

"Fuck, you're such a whore," he murmured, picking up the pace relentlessly.

"Your whore," you managed to say, your eyes rolling back into your head as you felt your orgasm build up.

"I bloody well hope so," he chuckled.

And then, as you both came closer to ecstasy, things went silent - the only noise being his groans, your moans, and the sound of skin slapping.

"Matty, I'm gonna co- fuck!" you cursed, feeling your release wash over you in red hot passion, your vision going white as your every limb shook. You didn't normally orgasm so easily.

He continued to fuck your overstimulated pussy, gripping your hips so hard it would probably leave bruises. "Gonna fill you up," he choked out, his breathing growing heavier as you finally felt his dick throb inside you, signifying his release.

Mattheo stilled, staying inside you for a moment as you both processed the situation. Eventually, he pulled out, helping you turn over so you were sat on the counter facing him. You were both panting.

"I'm sorry," he said eventually, and your eyes widened.

He had never outright apologised before.

"I'm sorry too," you mumbled back.

"I love you so much," he pressed his forehead against yours, "I just I-"

"I love you too. So much."

He hummed, "I just- I don't understand my father. I don't want to live forever."

You frowned, "Why not?"

"Because," he took your hands in his, "Without you, I'd just be living in vain."

A smile stretched widely on your face, "Want to leave this stupid party?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

And as you left the party, hand in hand and evidently in a post-sex haze, Mattheo said - loud enough for a few close people to hear - "I'm gonna marry you, you know that?"

And you did.

———————————————

masterlist

written; 25/02/2024 —> 09/03/2024 published; 09/03/2024 edited; —/—/——

#harry potter #hp oneshot #hp #hp fanfic #harry potter oneshot #harry potter fanfic #angst #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo #mattheo x you #mattheo x y/n #mattheo smut #mattheoxreader #mattheo riddle x y/n #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle smut #slytherin boys #smut #exes to lovers #ravenclaw reader #feminine pronouns

[yourpsicodelicbitch]

astro FACTS ‼️

(it was “astro thoughts” but I wanted to change)

it turned into a persona chart observations💋

Loika

Moon in your IC persona chart tells your childhood summary.

pls this is too accurate 😭. my moon is square mercury, this aspects tells me directly I have problems with my memory, that I don’t remember my childhood or I don’t have clarity about it. also that I could often lie to get on my way, too accurate. moon 9H tells me I was really imaginative, divagating about topics and questioning or being curious about how things worked. I was always in my world questioning why this and that and bringing in my head “what if?” scenarios. moon in cancer tells me I was more comfortable and secure in my house, specially with my mom. female roles could have been significant, this evidence also this person felt incredibly connected with their mom, it could turned into an unhealthy habit. I felt what my mom felt, I had the need of taking care of her instead and I did. sadly, people with moon in cancer in IC pc possibly had to be the mom to their mom and now they have a savior complex :( I’m so sorry if that happened to you. it’s reflected in every relationship, you need to heal your inner child in order to break that pattern. in my case, I’m trying and that’s recognizable.

Sag on 3H on Lilith pc be saying the most traumatic shit they have experienced and then laughing like’s not a big deal.

Moon opposition Venus on natal chart fcking needs or searchs for love in a profound manner.

they’re emos that write melancholic poetry and don’t like partying and stuff -not saying they have never been-, they prefer to be selective with their partners and don’t give second chances and if they do it’s because of “vibes” 🕺 they need love but it’s really hard to find someone like them that will sacrifice for others as they’ll do with them.

People with 6 house stellium/virgo placements feel more comfortable with animals than to be with people.

they spended more time with animals than with people on their childhood. they love animals, they’re not complex and irritating as people 🙄 later they could have regrets about their relationship with animals before realizing how important they’re. like megumi from jjk -appeared in my mind-.

Saturn 1H moon persona chart feels restricted to be theirselves.

it’s so frustrating, since childhood these people have had a fear of rejection. they have had even controlled the way they breath to not bother others. they hated themselves for being themselves and they’ve suffered so much bc of the critics. they’ve tried so hard to be someone they’re not, they’ve tried to controlled it and they couldn’t. they’ve suffered in silence about their identity and how insufficient they’ve felt. Saturn in moon pc evidences what difficulties exists in their emotional life and where they need to grow and mature. later, they’ll be proud about themselves and how far they’ve become.

Jupiter on scorpio 12 house on Venus pc run away from themselves.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #venus persona chart #moon persona chart #lilith persona chart #astro observations #astro posts #astro notes #pinterest #astro placements #birth chart #IC persona chart #12h placements #Virgo #3h placements #moon opposite Venus #jupiter #6H stellium #moon 9H #persona chart #persona chart observations #lilith #sagittarius #scorpio #inner child #childhood trauma #savior complex

[violetsiren90]

The Light of Your Eyes

Pairing: best friend's younger brother!Changbin x f!Reader

Genre: one-shot; friends to lovers; smut and fluff; hurt/comfort

Summary: Can the gentle touch of an unexpected pair of hands on your body heal the wounds of your soul?

Content warnings: 18+ (minors, dni), age gap romance (consenting adults); mentions of break-up and unhealthy past relationship dynamics; depression and anxiety symptoms (mild); MC has self esteem struggles, some are body-image related; the ex was low-key emotionally abusive tbh 😒; depictions of alcohol consumption (no drunkenness); depictions of food and eating (MC has a moment of negative thought patterns in regards to food consumption); gaming/watching movies; emotional breakdowns; kissing (so much kissing, guys); Fluffy fluffy FLUFF 💕; making out; interrupted shenanigans; cuddling; shirtless Binnie 👀; strong and gentle Binnie 🥺💘 ; working through FEELINGS 😅 ; breast play; nudity; oral sex (f. receiving); feedbag position; confessions and new beginnings.

Word Count: ~9300

Author's Note: Well, here it is - my first Binnie fic! I wanted to make it as sweet and sexy as he is...which, I know, is impossible, so I gave it my best shot! Hopefully, it's something worthy of his face-claim. I'm not going to make any judgements as to whether I feel it fits the bill, but rather like the man himself, tell you to be the judge of your own opinions! Jutdae!! 😂💗 But in all seriousness, if you decide to read this story, thank you! I hope it brings you something warm and fuzzy!

*The poem at the beginning is an original, and is what inspired this story!

Acknowledgements: I cannot thank @moni-logues enough for beta reading this for me, and for all her hype and humor and general human decency - this story wouldn't be what it is without her! 💖

As always, if no one has told you today, please know that you're loved, and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

    

the

Bright color of my laughter and the

Melody of the curve of my hips and the

Soft velvet of my irises

     seemed

To have taken their first breath,

Opening gently - like flowers perfuming my soul

- When bathed in the light of your eyes.

"Changbin? What are you doing here?"

     "I could ask you the same question," he says with a little smirk, whipping a dish towel over his shoulder as he shuffles back to let you in.

     Fair enough, you suppose. You are showing up without notice. Not that you ever need to give his sister any notice - as your best friend, there's a key with all the others in your purse that unlocks the door you're closing behind you. You wouldn't have even knocked had his car not been parked in the driveway.

     "Where's Nari?" you ask, glancing at the gaming console hooked up to the massive flat-screen, and a bullet blender cup half filled with something thick, pale and probably protein-packed sitting on the coffee table.

     "She went out of town for the weekend," he calls, heading back toward the dining area. "Last minute work thing." 

     Damn. 

     Your apartment is boring and barren and lonely. You wanted to hang out. You've been coming around more than usual – almost as often as when you were in grad school together. But Nari had her own life, you understood. You had your own life too.

     And then three months ago, on New Years Eve, your long-term boyfriend called it quits. It wasn't as if you were heartbroken. Not really. The relationship had been sick and slowly dying. But returning to a life lived in solitude was proving a difficult adjustment – especially navigating the new and constant stillness which left you the mental space and dexterity to run up against the shadows of wounds unhealed. And you didn't feel like growing into your EQ. You felt like distracting yourself. So you ended up at your bestie's place more often than not, these days.

     You sigh, trailing toward the kitchen. You won't stay long - if her younger brother is house sitting, he'll probably have people coming over. It's Friday night, after all, and he's twenty-four years young.

    The sound of running water, and music from a little speaker playing a catchy beat laced with fast-paced rap draws you into the warmly-lit, open kitchen. You recognize the voice on the track.

     "This new?" you ask, dropping your bag on a barstool and rounding the island to where Changbin is up to his elbows in suds at the sink. He's in a black band tee and bright blue joggers, his curly dark hair unstyled.

    He looks over his shoulder and nods.

    "What do you think? Wait, no, lemme start it over..."

     You smile to yourself as he hastily dries his hands and whips out his phone, pulling the track back to the beginning. He braces himself against the edge of the sink, gnawing on his bottom lip as he bobs his head with the lyrical punches and runs. 

     You smile to yourself, leaning your back against the counter beside him.

     "This is good, Bin," you nod earnestly. 

     "Yeah?" he asks, returning to his soapy task.

     "It really is. Hyunjin's pretty damn fast. Not as fast as you, but who is?" 

You grin, bumping your hip into his side.

     He smirks down into the bubbles.

     He's wanted to make music for as long as you've known him, and even fifteen years ago he could spit out a diss track that would have you wetting yourself laughing. He and his buddy, Hyunjin, met in high school and started messing around with music senior year. They committed to the dream, and both worked full-time gigs - Hyunjin as a tattoo artist and Changbin as a personal trainer - while promoting their artistry in their spare time. Production was a tough road to take when they were counting on nothing but raw talent and guts, but you'd always been an unflinching supporter.

     "We've got a gig next Saturday...at The Eight Ball," he remarks, looking over at you as a proud smile presses a tiny dimple into his bread cheek.

     "What?!" you squeal, turning to smack him on the arm. "Dude, that's fantastic! Oh my god, congratulations!"

     "Thanks, and ouch!" he replies, rubbing his arm with a pout that you ignore. It couldn't possibly have hurt him, not with those biceps.

     He moves to the fridge, a grin still plastered on his face.

     "You should come!" he urges over his shoulder as he appraises his sister's stash before grabbing an energy drink. "I know the boyfriend isn't into rap, but you could come with Nari..."

     You scoff softly.

     "Doesn't really matter what he likes anymore," you mumble bitterly.

     Changbin freezes as he's about to crack open the beverage in his hand.

     "Wait, what? Did you guys...is that over?"

     You purse your lips and nod. Changbin looks completely taken off guard in a way that surprises you. 

“When did that happen?”

You reach back to clutch at the cold tile of the countertop.

“Beginning of the year.”

He scratches his head.

“Nari didn’t…why didn’t you say something?”

You shrug, your eyes falling. For reasons you'd never considered, you’d rarely brought your ex around or even brought him up to Changbin. 

He turns to the still open fridge and swaps out his energy drink for two beers, opening both and sliding one across the island between you.

     "How you holding up?" he asks in earnest concern, a little furrow appearing between his dark brows.

     You want to tell him that you're fine - it's what you've been telling everyone else - but from the way he holds your gaze before letting his eyes search your face, he's looking for a real answer. You pull your lip between your teeth. You're not ready to form the words that spell the truth. He sees it.

    "Ah," he waves dismissively, "Fuck that guy. You're too good for him anyway. What an idiot."

      You blink, a little smirk tugging at your lips.

     "You don't have to hate on him just because we're-"

     "I'm hating on him because I hate him," he stares at you unflinchingly, taking another swig of his beer. "He wasn't good to you, didn't make you happy. I'm glad he's gone. Seriously, fuck him."

     You didn't expect that sort of reaction out of Changbin. Not that you expected anything, but the strong, certain tone he took in regards to your ex's unworthiness has a tiny little warmth glowing in your chest. It was like him to feel strongly and take a stand, but to have his conviction aimed at you...

     "Thanks, Bin," you murmur softly, hiding your smile behind your beer.

     The young man nods, and his lips part as if to speak when his phone buzzes in his pocket. As he answers the call - clearly, from the nature of his greeting, one of his buddies - you're reminded that you’re trespassing on his Friday night. Draining your beer, you grab your bag and slip out of the kitchen. 

     You huff a little sigh as you pull on your shoes, lingering listlessly for a moment before pulling open the door. The thought of going home has your stomach churning. You can't go back and be alone there. 

You can't.

     You have to.

     How pathetic could you possibly get? you consider sickly, staring out into the darkness. Your self-loathing and mounting anxiety battle for dominance as you will yourself to take the step over the threshold that will carry you to your car…

     Click.

     The door swishes shut, and you blink in confusion before you note a bulky arm stretched over your shoulder, hand pressed to the wooden frame below the peephole.

     You turn into Changbin's frame and he jostles backwards, hand dropping to your shoulder.

     "Where do you think you're going?" he asks, a little smirk playing on his lips.

     You try to get your bearings as you resurface from the flash flood of inner turmoil, blinking up at him in confusion.

     "Uuhh...home?" you answer, jerking a thumb back toward your intended exit.

     Changbin shakes his head. 

     "You just got here."

     "Well...I came to see Nari but she's gone, so..." 

     When the faintest shadow of hurt seems to flicker over his features at your words, you stammer to clarify.

     "Bin, it's Friday, I- you've got plans, right? I don't want to be in the way...Like, it's really nice seeing you don't get me wrong, but, it would suck to have one of your sister's random friends underfoot if you're...if..."

     You trail off. He's watching you in amusement now, arms crossed and bottom lip pulled between his teeth, one eyebrow cocked just a little higher than the other.

     "What?" you press him, now a bit self-conscious at your rambling and still on edge from the surging anxiety of moments ago. 

     Damn, what was with you? You'd been a mess lately, and now you couldn't even get your words out with Nari's kid brother?

     "I do have plans."

     Changbin's words interrupt your muddled self-assessment. You glance up at him.

     What? Okay, that's what you had been trying to...

     "I plan to kick your ass at Super Smash Bros Brawl," he quips, turning to round the couch and settle in front of it before reaching for the blue controller discarded on the coffee table.

     Huh?

     You watch him start up the game and move through selections. Shuffling toward the back of the couch, you place your hands on it. He wants to hang out? Now that he found out you'd been dumped. Nari's away, so he's falling into stride, you think to yourself. You sigh. You should be grateful. Instead, you feel like a burden.

     "Um, Bin..." you murmur, "You don't have to do this..."

     "Do what?" he asks without looking back. "I'm not going easy on you, if that's what you mean. And I'm using Kirby - nonnegotiable."

     Your heart melts a little as your eyes rest on him. He's always been a good guy, and it was like him to do this sort of thing - look out for someone when they were feeling low. Leaving simply because you don't feel worthy of his care and attention risks hurting him more than you.

     You slowly slip out of your shoes and cross into the living room, retrieving a red controller from atop the console before sinking onto the carpet beside him. You toggle through your choices before landing on Link. Changbin glances over at you disparagingly. 

     "Link sucks."

     "Kirby sucks."

     "Hey!" Changbin, practically shouts in your ear, "Don't insult my widdle cutie guy..."

     You grimace theatrically at the baby talk.

     "Don't ever do that again."

     "Or what?" Changbin challenges as he immediately unleashes a combo move that has your character hurtling toward the edge of the battle stage.

     You hop around, avoiding him and trying out different button combos. It's been forever since you played this game. Your ex had been a Halo enthusiast. You were never big on first person shooters, but you tried to get into it for his sake. He hadn't the patience to help you learn, though, and after a couple of sessions of grimaces and apologies on your behalf mumbled into his headset, he'd stopped taking you up on your offers to join him. 

     Kirby darts back and forth across the screen after you on stubby pink legs. Eventually you get the hang of things and are returning his attacks, though he easily bests you in an embarrassingly short sequence of moves.

     "Sorry, I'm no good at video games," you mumble apologetically. 

     The smug look falls from Changbin's face.

     "Why are you sorry?" he raises a brow, dropping his controller into his lap, a little smile still playing on his lips.

     You shrug. His smile fades.

     "Who says you're no good?"

     Shit.

     You shift your focus to the screen and toggle for a new character.

     "Best two out of three."

     You can feel his eyes still on you as you opt for Princess Peach.  

     Two out of three turns into five out of eight, and around eleven out of twenty, the doorbell rings. When Changbin turns in surprise toward the sound, you take the opportunity to deliver a critical blow, winning your first match of the night. He rolls his eyes as you giggle wickedly and moves to answer the door.

     You pull your phone from your pocket reflexively to check the socials you've deleted, before sighing and tossing it across the room to land on the carpet with a thud.

     "Did you just throw your phone?" 

     Glancing over your shoulder, you catch him shooting you a quizzical look over a stack of pizza boxes tall enough to feed a small army. Clambering to your feet you trail after him into the kitchen.

     "You do have plans, you liar!" you elbow him as he opens the top box and pulls out a slice, hissing as the melted cheesy overflow burns the tips of his fingers.

     "Ow!" he snaps up a napkin and cradles it under the steaming piece of pizza, shaking his other hand before holding up his fingers in front of you.

     "Blow on 'em," he whines.

     You raise your eyebrows.

     "You're joking."

     He pouts and you want to laugh. This big, grown man is seriously going to give you the lip right now?

     "That's what you get for having no patience, Bin..." you tsk disapprovingly. 

     He lets out a little disappointed sigh.

     "Meanie..." he grumbles, and lets his hand fall.

     You return your focus to the obscene amount of food now stacked on Nari's kitchen table. 

     "So, I'm sure people are going to start showing up, so I'm just gonna..."

     Changbin hands you a paper plate with two slices of pizza and heads to the fridge where he fishes out two more beers. You stare at the plate in your hand.

     "I...Bin..." 

     "What, you don't like sweet potato?" he asks with a smirk, cracking open a can and handing it to you. 

     You blink at him in confusion. 

     "Please enjoy this meal compliments of Han Jisung, who never remembers to update the address on his delivery app. Now, load up on pizza and let’s get back to it because I'm not trying to let you act like you came out on top from winning that last match on a fluke."

     You scoff at his last remark. Watching him pile several slices onto his plate, you take a bite of yours. It tastes good, and you realize as it hits your stomach that you haven't eaten all day. When was the last time you ate a real meal? When was the last time you wanted one? 

     "Noona?" 

     Changbin's voice makes you realize you had zoned out and when you blink up at him, there's just nine inches of disposable dinnerware between you. His lips are pursed and his eyes trace your features, their gaze gentle but searching. 

    "You alright?" he asks.

     There it is again; the concern. He isn't just checking in. His voice is soft and low, like his eyes. As a rule, Changbin's voice is strong, resonant - saying everything from his chest without even trying. So when he's gentle, when he pulls himself back...

    "Do you miss that guy?" he murmurs.

     "No!" 

You say it so quickly.

     Changbin nods.

     "I'm just..." Fuck, why are you suddenly so emotional? "I think I'm...adjusting. Y'know?"

     He nods again slowly. Then he reaches up and touches your face, dragging his thumb over the side of your mouth and suddenly your brain waves flat-line. Your eyes widen and your lips part, but before you can even process what's happening, he drops his hand to swipe it on a napkin.

     "Had sauce on your face," he mumbles, and you can't read his.

     His mouth is tugged up in a small smile but somehow it looks sad, and his eyes look like they're still asking a question that was never really answered. Before you can consider any further, he picks up his plate and heads back toward the living room.

     You follow him, still half in your head.

     When you sit down next to him, there's something hanging unspoken in the foot and a half of space between your bodies. Something has shifted, gone taut. 

     Shit, had you made him uncomfortable? Why had you stared at him like a weirdo when he...wait, he touched you...

     Your eyes shift over to where he sits beside you. He runs a hand through the wavy hair over his ear. Has he always been so beautiful? He turns quick enough to catch you staring and you put your plate out of your lap. The pizza smells so good but suddenly you can't touch it.

     Changbin initiates another round, which you lose in record time. Your stomach grumbles.

     "You better eat if you're going to have any hope of beating me again," he goads, finishing off his third slice to abandon the crust with the others on his plate before launching another game.

     "I had enough," you deflect, pushing your plate toward him.

     "You took two bites."

     "I need to cut back."

     "Like...go on a diet?"

     "Yeah."

     His brows furrow and his tongue slips between his lips as he sends Kirby into a hammer flip that lands as a critical hit and you wince.

"What have you eaten today?"

"What?"

     "You heard me."

     "I...I don't know. I..."

     Your stomach twists. The hunger is there, but so is the anxiety. The fear of being judged for eating too much or too quickly or...

     The game pauses. Your plate slides back toward you over the carpet.

     "The rest of that piece. Or whatever else you want. But something." 

     His voice is gentle but firm. You sigh.

     "Fine," you murmur, grabbing the half-eaten slice.

     You take a bite, and slowly raise your eyes to his as they regard you patiently.

     "Sorry," you mumble, covering your mouth, shifting away from him.

     "Why now?"

     "I make gross noises when I eat."

     "What? No you d-" 

     A hand tugs at your elbow. When you look back toward him his handsome face holds so many things, and you watch as they take turns seizing his features. Horror...pity...anger.

     "Who told you that?" he asks lowly, but it doesn't sound like a question. "Noona..."

     He squeezes your elbow.

     You feel everything you've been shoving down in your chest begin to well up. 

Fuck, no! 

Your lip trembles.

He's shifting to face you.

You shake your head and press your eyes shut.

Your hand is encompassed in a larger one.

     "It's lies, all of it," Changbin whispers with desperate conviction...and your dam breaks.

     He pulls you into his arms as you sob with abandon. One of his hands encircles your waist tugging you against his broad, warm chest, and the other slips to brush tenderly over your nape as you tuck your face into his neck. 

     "He's a liar...shhhh...he's a lying piece of shit," he insists earnestly, into your hair. "You're perfect. He's the one who needs to fix himself. You're so, so perfect." 

     Perfect? You let your heart hold the word in its palm for one precious moment before pushing it away. Your heart had never been one to accept gifts it didn't think it deserved.

     You weep and weep in his strong arms until you run out of tears, and then he holds you while you breathe. As the catharsis of your breakdown begins to settle in, you wonder at the comedown - a softer, warmer one than you've ever known – and you consider the loveliness that has broken your fall.

     Soft and firm, everywhere he touches you. And warm. So warm. Not just the heat radiating from his body like a furnace – the velvet rasp of his voice, the absolute and unfaltering nature of his embrace.

     Your hands move tentatively against his back. Soft cotton stretches and bunches between your fingers over his sturdy frame. Where your face is pressed to his collar every breath draws in a comforting combination of detergent and cologne. When you close your eyes and sigh, letting your weight sink against him further, you feel his arms tighten in response. 

     "Sorry," you croak feebly.

     "Stop," he implores you, "Every time you apologize, I want to sock that guy in the face."

     "I...I'm so stupid, I didn't even really realize..."

     "No," his arms squeeze you again, "He had your trust. It was his job to protect you."

     Protected. That's how you feel right now. Safe. So, so safe. Letting him hold you and reassure you felt good...it felt right. But yet again, the voice in your mind that liked to remind you how much of a burden you always were speaks up in a sickly whisper.

     You pull yourself slowly from his arms and off his lap. Drawing yourself up to stand, you wipe your hot cheeks, puffy red eyes finding his like the needle of a compass. Unprepared for what awaits you in his gaze, your knees nearly give out beneath you.

     Changbin is looking up from where he kneels before you, the yearning in his eyes unchecked as they burn with  an unasked question and an unspoken promise.

     "I should go," you whisper, barely able to form the words.

     "Don't," he says, standing.

     "If I stay I'll just wreck your night," you mumble.

     "You could never," he insists, lips tugging into a little smile. His eyes are still pleading.

     "Changbin..." you breathe, suddenly drowning again in the fizzy serotonin his words ignite in your chest. "You don't want..."

     "You let me be the judge of what I want."

     His hands find your arms and he pulls you in. There are centimeters between you. His eyes rest on your lips. Your heart hammers in your ears as your brain begins to malfunction the way it had when he touched your face...

     "D-do I have something on my-"

     Mouth? His.

    The whole of your being floods with something beautiful and ineffable at the touch of his lips and no voice, no doubt, no force in the world could be stronger than the one that pulls you into him. Your arms fly up to wrap around his neck and tug yourself impossibly closer. His hands drop to your waist, pressing desperately in kind, and your bodies mold together. You flush with heat, sparks igniting in your belly and skittering through your veins as his lips move against yours. He stumbles back, pulling you with him as his knees buckle at the edge of the couch, and your body spills over his lap.

Your fingers card into his hair.

His hands drop to the back of your hips.

Your tongue brushes his bottom lip.

He moans.

     At the gorgeous, deep sound from his chest, you pull back, fighting the smile that pulls at the corners of your mouth. What the fuck is happening right now? You don't get much time to consider as his head falls against the backrest and his eyes flutter open.

     "Sorry," he grins bashfully. The tips of his ears burn pink.

     "Now who's apologizing for no reason?" you tease, pressing your hands to his chest.

     He smiles so sweetly in return you feel you might physically melt. And then the smile fades and the lids of his eyes grow heavy and he leans up to claim your mouth.

     His lips taste the same as a moment ago, but their press is slower, hungrier. His hands are powerful and assertive as they hook under your thighs and pull your hips flush against his own in a single tug. You gasp softly against his lips and you feel his smirk. You feel his smirk and something else - something beginning to press up into your ass through your jeans.

     Licking into his mouth, you push down, grinding your hips over his in a slow, deliberate undulation. The groan that falls from his lips unlocks something inside of you that needs to know every sound he makes and how to elicit them. Your mouth drops to his neck.

     Suddenly, he's gripping your waist and pivoting to lay you on the cushions, slotting himself between your legs. You're still dizzy from the sudden rush of movement, when your legs curl around his hips and over his ass and–

     A loud buzzing from the coffee table has you mourning the press of Changbin's lips to your throat as he glances at the caller ID. 

     "Shit!" he scrambles to sit up, hand still gripping your thigh above your knee when he presses the phone to his ear.

     "Hey," he runs a hand through his hair. "What? Nothing. No, I didn't forget. I will, I will."

     You recognize his tone of voice. There could only be one person on the other end of the line. You sit up, your head beginning to clear as the reality of the situation washes over you.

     "Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Be safe. Love you." 

Changbin presses the end-call button and tosses the phone onto the cushion beside him. He leans back against the couch and claps his hand against your leg with a sigh.

     "She really knows how to wreck a moment for me."

     You crack a wry smile.

     "I mean, it's probably for the best that we don't desecrate your sister's couch."

     His eyes widen as horror, disgust, and amusement wage war across his features. You burst into a fit of giggles. He feigns a gag. You laugh so hard that you snort.

     "S-sorry," you clap your hand over your mouth, still tittering while your ears heat in embarrassment.

     Changbin's face softens again. He reaches for your hand and pulls it from your face, threading his fingers through yours.

     "Cut it out."

     "What? I can't be embarrassed about snorting like a pig?"

     "No. It's cute," he smirks.

     "It is not!"

     "Mhm. Everything you do is cute."

     He glances over at you, a lopsided smirk on his perfect lips, his eyes sparkling. He means it.

     You fluster, gaze dropping to your enjoined hands, and concentrate on tracing little patterns on the back of his with your thumb. He sighs.

     "Wanna watch a movie?"

     The request takes you by surprise and your heart squeezes. If it was any other guy, the night would have been over. For the fourth time tonight, you had been about to head for the door, and for the fourth time, Changbin makes you feel wanted. So you stay.

     You grab a big, fluffy blanket from the basket in Nari's room, and when you return, Changbin has the lights dimmed and Your Name ready to go on the TV. You smile as you settle in beside him, tossing half the blanket over his widespread legs.

     "We don't have to watch this just because it's my favorite, you know," you insist, but he shakes his head.

     "Taki's ma' boy," he smirks, shooting you a glance as he presses play on the remote.

     You're not quite sure what it means, but you feel your heart skip a beat just the same.

You love this movie. You love that you've seen it enough times that you can talk through it. You love that Changbin is more than willing to talk over the film himself. You're not certain when it happened, but by halfway through the movie his arm is stretched out behind your shoulders and your head rests on his bicep.

     "Do you remember seeing this together in the theater?" he asks suddenly, tilting his head toward yours.

     You grin.

     "You cried and Nari gave you shit about it," you recall.

     "You bailed me out. Told her all the sniffling was you. Never even teased me about it either."

     Changbin smiles down at you, his eyes sentimental.

     Butterflies flutter their delicate wings in your ribcage. How does he make you feel this way?

Your eyes dip to his lips for a moment. Sighing, you nuzzle into his shoulder, hiding your face as much as seeking his warmth. His arm slips off the back of the couch to curl around your shoulders and pull you into his side. The movie plays on.

     When the credits roll, Changbin stretches and yawns, and watching him it dawns on you that, working at a fitness center, he's an especially early riser.

     "We should call it a night," you offer, standing and stretching yourself, but you're tugged back down into Changbin's lap, yelping as you topple onto him.

     His arms encircle your hips as he regards you with a sleepy grin.

     "What, do I live here now?" you tease.

     "Stay the night," he urges, tightening his arms around you. "You really want to drive back now?"

     You chew your lip, eyes tracing over his face. This is all more than a bit unreal, and you haven't given yourself even one second to process what's happening, lest you utterly panic. All you know right now is that your little ship had been sinking and he had hauled you into a lifeboat. Everything outside of him seems like a raging sea.

     You nod.

     "Okay," you whisper, combing his hair away from his forehead. “I’ll stay.” 

     His eyes dip shut at your touch and the butterflies flutter gently once more.

     A few minutes later, you take Nari's room and slip into a pair of her cotton shorts, which do basically nothing to contain your ass, and tug on a plain white tee that stretches snugly over your torso. How a big guy like Changbin could have emerged from the same genetic pool as his teeny tiny sister was beyond you. As you glance in the mirror, your heart sinks. You don't like how the tight fit is pressing you out everywhere you're most self-conscious. But, they are just pajamas, and they're all you have at your disposal.

     As you're about to head into the master bathroom to finish your nightly routine, you remember that the toothbrush and toiletries you keep on hand at Nari's are in the little half-bath attached to the guest room. You groan, glancing at yourself again in the mirror, and pull a blanket around yourself before crossing the hall.

     Hoping Changbin hasn’t yet fallen asleep, you knock hesitantly on the door. You hear the bed creak before the door opens to reveal a head of mussed hair and hands scrubbing over bleary eyes. But it's not what you notice. Your apology for rousing him dies on your lips as your eyes glue themselves to his bare chest. Blinking dumbly, your eyes climb from his soft stomach subtly rippling with the presence of strong abdominals up to a pair of impressive pecs with wide-set, dusky nipples. His flannel pajama pants settle at his hips, accentuating how his body broadens as it rises from his waist to his full chest and wide shoulders flanked by bulging biceps. Thick. He's so fucking thick you could bi-

     "...Noona?" he rumbles, his voice husky from sleep. "What's wrong?"

     "Nothing...sorry..." you rush out, ripping your gaze up to his. "My toothbrush is in your room – I mean! in your bathroom. That's where I usually stay, so...but I didn't think you'd be asleep. Sorry, I can just..." 

     He rubs over one of his eyes with his palm as he steps aside.

     "You can grab it."

     Right. You shuffle in awkwardly, trying not to step on the blanket dragging around your feet. As you cross the dark room, you try not to dwell on the rumpled sheets of the bed that speak of his body having lain between them, or the soft smell of his cologne hanging in the air. You quickly retrieve the little toiletry bag and, as you move to squeeze past Changbin at the door, he eyes the fluffy shroud you're clutching to your chest.

     He raises a sleepy eyebrow.

     "I'm sure Nari has pants you could..."

     "I'm wearing pants!" you bluster, "They just...don't fit."

      You move out of the doorway to make your way back to your room, but a hand cups the side of your face and turns it as soft lips meet your forehead. 

     "Good night, noona," he murmurs with a little smile before retreating back into his room.

     You stand in the hall, staring at his door, the butterflies absolutely aflurry.

     Despite your best efforts, you can't sleep. Your mind is full of the last five hours. Full of Changbin.

     He had kissed you. You had kissed him back. And it had felt...

     You roll from your side to your back, sighing up at the dark ceiling. You chew on your lip as you remember breaking down and his arms around you. You would usually feel regretful and ashamed after baring yourself like that to someone. You despised moments of weakness. But you couldn't bring yourself to hate the moments in his arms. You didn't regret them. In fact, you wanted him to hold you again. You wanted to feel vulnerable in his hands, and you wanted him to keep you safe.

     You feel heat rush up from your neck as you recognize these feelings.

     You must be absolutely shameless, you conclude in wonder. You should be freaking out right now - this was Changbin, for Christ's sake – Nari's brother! You should be wondering what happens next, and what all of it means...but even so you can’t bring yourself to care. All your mind can focus on is how his arms felt like waking up after a nightmare to song birds and soft sunlight.

     After an hour or so of tossing and turning, the salty pizza from dinner has you parched and slipping out to the kitchen for a drink. You pull a glass from the cupboard and fill it at the fridge, gulping down the contents to refill it again. Suddenly, you feel two strong arms snake around your waist and you start, sloshing your water and smacking the back of your head into the man holding you. You hastily set your glass down and turn in his arms as he lets out a groan, one of his hands releasing you as it flies up to cup the front of his face in pain.

     "Bin, oh my god! Are you okay? You scared me!" you chide with a chuckle as you reach up to push his hand away and brush the tips of your fingers across his nose. 

    He pouts down at you and you smile.

     "Did I wake you?"

     He huffs.

     "Yeah. To get your toothbrush. Then I couldn't go back to sleep."

     "Sorry," you groan, still stroking over where you had struck his face. "Does it hurt?" 

     He nods.

     "Kiss it better," he mumbles cutely.

     You roll your eyes, but lift your lips to comply when suddenly he interrupts the motion with the soft press of his mouth to yours. It's slow and sweet, and you're struck all over again with how quickly you melt at his touch - a sensation you cannot imagine ever growing accustomed to, but to which you are fairly certain you are in danger of growing entirely addicted.

     "Bin..." you whisper against his lips, "Bin, what are we-"

     "Liar," he murmurs, pulling back.

     Your mouth parts in confusion as you stare up at him, still drunk on his lips.

     "You said the clothes didn't fit. You should wear this all the time," he smirks as he squeezes low on your waist.

     Your cheeks heat as you remember what you're wearing, but you don't have long to be anxious over it as he presses his lips to your nose...the corner of your mouth...your jaw. You tremble as you lean into him, fingers splaying over his warm, bare chest.

     "Let me show you," he whispers against your skin.

     "Sh-show me...what...?"

     He draws back, pressing his forehead to yours.

     "How perfect you are."

     You still, eyes flicking up to his. They're dark and tender and pleading. You let out a little shuddering breath.

     "I...you don't have t-"

     His arms hold you closer, gentle but insistent.

     "Let me," he whispers, the tip of his handsome nose brushing over the dip of your cupid's bow. "Please. I want to."

     You swallow, eyes dropping to his lips. You want it too, you find. You want his hands and lips and eyes all over you, bringing warmth everywhere they meet your aching body. You nod and take his lips again with yours. 

     "Yeah?" he murmurs against them.

     "Yeah," you breathe, slipping a hand up the back of his neck and into his hair.

     He groans in response, deepening the kiss as he licks at your parted lips and when your tongues brush, sparks burst in your belly. You feel it all slipping, the masks, the walls - every barrier you hold up to shield yourself from not being enough. His arms are strong and his lips are tender and you can't focus on anything but the perfection of being so utterly held.

     His mouth moves to caress your jaw, under your ear, down the column of your neck, and suddenly you feel the edge of the counter pressing into the small of your back. His hands grip your waist and he hitches you onto the tiled surface with ease. It's cold against your bare legs, but you don't have more than a second to register the discomfort as Changbin nudges his way between your knees. He runs his hands over your thighs as his eyes trail from your panting lips to your lightly heaving chest.

     You feel your nipples pebble under his gaze and a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, his eyes glinting with mischief as he runs a hand up your side, over your shirt, to rest under the swell of your breast. He flicks a thumb over the hardened bud and you whimper and jump. He laughs softly, his smirk spreading into a full smile as he squeezes your breast and brings his eyes to yours.

     "Your pretty body likes me, noona," he puffs proudly, massaging you deftly through the soft cotton of the tee.

     You don't have a witty retort. Your body likes him so much that it frightens you. And with the deep affection you already feel, have long felt, for him...

     You reach to gently tangle your hand again in his coarse, dark curls. He glances up, a sweet little smirk tugging at his pretty lips again. 

     "Bin..." you sigh.

     "Hmm?" he hums as he slips his hands to your bottom and tugs you forward so that you're flush against him.

     You dip your head and your lips ghost his.

     "Nothing," you whisper, and you kiss him again. Again and again.

     His hands slide from your ass to slip beneath your shirt at your lower waist and he kneads the soft flesh above your hips.

     "So soft. Feels so good," he groans into your mouth.

     You moan as the walls of your pussy contract. You're beginning to ache, beginning to drip – and his words seem to affect you as intensely as his touch.

     He moves his lips to latch onto the soft skin of your neck and suck, his hands bunching your shirt up and up until his mouth pops free from your skin and he's pulling the thin garment over your head and tossing it aside. The cool air pricks your skin and you become keenly aware, for the briefest moment, that you are sitting on your best friend's kitchen counter, stripped down to her sleep shorts, with her brother between your thighs. As your brain races to decide whether to find that incredibly arousing or absolutely panic-inducing, Changbin's cherry lips rewire your neurological pathways in favor of the former when they close around your right nipple. Your head lolls back, colliding with the cabinet door and it clatters. 

     "Shit..." you hiss softly, threading your hands into his hair and gripping it by the roots.

     Your eyes slip shut and you focus on the sensation of his warm tongue slipping over the peaks of your breasts, his strong, smooth palms cupping and caressing. And then you feel his little puffs of breath and the nudge of his nose at the valley of your chest as he groans and smushes your tits up to meet his face. 

     "I fucking live here now," he mumbles into the globe of your breast, and despite the heat of the moment, you softly laugh. You laugh and you feel his smile pressed to your skin.

     Then suddenly he's pulling you into his arms in a bridal carry. You know he's strong, as you wrap your arms around his neck, but can't push away a pang of self-consciousness as he bears your weight. 

     "Bin, I'm so heavy..."

     "You're not."

     "I don't want you to..."

     "Stop it," comes his voice in a soft, deep command as he halts in his tracks to kiss you.

     He kisses you and kisses you until you believe that he could carry you until the end of time, and then he takes you into the guest bedroom and sits you gently on the bed. The bed with the mussed sheets that smell like him. The sheets that he's leaning you into as you push yourself to the middle of the bed while he hovers over the top of your body, his lips never leaving yours.

     As he sinks down over you, the weight of his body pressing you into the mattress has warmth licking through your veins. You move your hands to caress over his broad back, feeling his muscles ripple beneath your fingers as he shifts to prop himself up on his elbow. You use the free space to trace your hand down his chest and abdomen until you reach the waistband of his pants. If he'd just push himself a few inches up you could...

     He pulls away, just barely breathless, and his eyes find yours. He reaches down with his right hand to pull yours gently from between your bodies and to his lips, before threading his fingers through yours and pressing your joined hands into the sheets beside your head.

     "I want to eat you out."

     He says it so simply, so confidently, and you can feel more arousal gush to join what's already begun to paint your inner thighs. 

     "Fuck..." you breathe, your fingers trembling in his grasp.

     "Can I?" he asks, kissing your lips softly again.

     For a moment you're afraid of what saying yes will mean, of the intimacy of it all, of the possibility that you won't measure up, someway, somehow, or maybe...that you will - and what in the world you would do with that level of acceptance...

     You let out a shaky sigh, as you hold his gaze. It arrests you and washes over you. You remember his eyes as he knelt on the living room floor, and all they pleaded with you to disbelieve, to unlearn. 

     Yes. Yes...If it's him, you want it, whatever it means.

     You surge forward, pressing your lips to his, your hands weaving through his hair, pulling him in. He lets out a tiny whimper as you devour him, kissing him with determined abandon until you have to come up for air.

     "Yes, Bin, yes," you shudder into his mouth as he pants over you. “Yes I want you to.”

In answer, he presses one last tender kiss to your lips before moving to kiss down your body. He moves slowly, but with purpose, pressing an adoring mouth to every part of you that’s bared. He kisses your ear, your neck, your collarbones…he moves over your shoulders and down your right arm to the tip of each finger. He kisses your breasts and down your stomach. He kisses your belly button, and over your hips and down your left thigh. He kisses the inside of your knee, and bends your leg to kiss over your calf and down to your ankle. 

You can barely watch him, as he brushes his lips over you, but he flicks his eyes up to yours so often you don’t dare look away. There is something flickering in his gaze, something like a challenge - daring you to contradict, to doubt what he seeks to impress upon you - and you begin to feel something strange and new. Something you’d never found at the touch of a lover, blooming in your chest and unfurling like a proud little flower under the sun: the strong, heady beauty of esteeming yourself worthy of his desire. It terrifies you a bit, and the ugly voice that has heckled you so often tries to cast doubt, but Changbin’s lips and hands are too persistent and assured for the harbinger in your mind to linger long. And the tidal wave of lovely feelings crashing over you threatens to destroy the shabby prison your heart has lingered in for so long.

Changbin lays his head on your thigh as he brings his hand off the other to cup your pussy over the softness of your shorts. His groan is nearly as loud as yours when he rubs over your mound, and it makes you impossibly wetter. He’s so unabashed and liberal with reacting to what he enjoys, and he is clearly enjoying you as much as he ever has anything.

He moves to bring his face to your clothed cunt, hovering over you for a nanosecond to catch your eyes as he mouths down over you. Your jaw drops open, and when his teeth scrape dully over your clit, your hips jerk and you fist the sheets. Changbin pulls back with a smirk, and sits back on his knees between your legs. He pulls one of your legs up to lean against his shoulder as his hands instinctively knead over the muscles of your calf and thigh.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, with a little smile.

You nod with one of your own.

“I’m gonna lift you, okay? You can hold onto my legs, but I’ll have you, so don’t worry.”

You bite your lip and nod, suddenly a little shy. Look at him. Where did he get all this confidence?

He drops your leg briefly to tug off your shorts and panties, cursing at how wet you are, and gently slipping two fingers to brush between your glistening lips and over your clit. You gasp at the sensation - his fingers deft, his touch soft but firm where you ache for him. And then, suddenly, he is sliding your legs back up to rest against his chest and shoulders. His hands slip down to your hips and he effortlessly tugs your ass over the incline of his thighs and flush with his abdomen. Your heart starts to thrum in your chest. His body is warm and sturdy against the soft plush of your ass. Heat floods your cheeks when you sense a slickness against him where your arousal has begun to smear against his stomach. He, however, is far less bashful. Widening the gap between your thighs, he dips his head down, inhaling deeply.

"Fuck…" he murmurs, squeezing your legs where he holds them. 

When he raises his eyes to yours again, they’re unlike you’ve ever seen. They’re dark and hungry and hooded in a way that nearly intimidates you. His expression is full of heat, and manly in its sudden gravity. He watches you as he slips his thumbs under your waist and, slowly with strong hands, pulls your hips up beneath his chin. Your legs bend at the knees and drape around the crown of his head. Your spine curves where your upper back is flush with his thighs, your arm on either side of his kneeling form, and as he embraces you tightly around the hips and waist, you feel nearly every ounce of your weight suspended in his hold. The blood rushes to your head where it lays against the mattress, your neck curving just shy of his knees, offering a clear view of his gorgeous face as he wastes no time in pressing his open mouth to your labia. 

Your core muscles flex in response, hips pressing higher against him as you feel ripples of exquisite pleasure trickle through your body from above. The smooth muscle of his tongue slips past your entrance and begins fucking into you. Your head swims, the slightest dizzying restriction of oxygen dampening your ability to focus on anything but the bliss of his hot, wet mouth. Being tasted has never felt this intense. You whimper, your hands reaching around his body to find purchase on his muscular ass. You feel the press of his throbbing erection into your back as his tongue fucks unhurriedly into you. He’s rock hard, and all for you. From the sight of your naked body, the feel of you in his hands, the taste of you on his tongue. From the sounds pouring off of your lips as he worships your sex. 

Your legs begin to shake. You’re so totally in his hands. He holds you, lavishes you, consumes you. Nothing stands between you and ecstasy, and you can feel your climax fast approaching as pleasure ebbs and flows like a crashing tide on the rhythm of his firm, languid strokes.

"Ch-Changbin! Nhhh!" you mewl, you voice throaty and muffled from your position. 

He growls against you and you nearly cum then. One of his hands drops to squeeze the soft mound of your right breast. Your cheeks burn, sweat beginning to bead on your forehead and neck. You can feel your pussy throbbing - hot and sticky and swollen with stimulation - as he devours it like the flesh of ripened fruit. His lips encircle your clit and suckle as the tip of his tongue flicks over the erect peak of your bud.

And then it all goes white. You lose all sense but feeling as you rock your hips up to meet him, the tension in your abdominals adding sinfully to the fluttering pulsating of your pussy. There’s nothing but you and him and his arms around you and his mouth against the most intimate parts of you as your orgasm washes over you in electrifying slow-motion, pulling you under a tidal wave of bliss for what seems like an eternity. Your lips part in a silent scream of his name, your eyes pressed shut, as he works you through the longest and most intense climax your body has ever experienced.

You feel him place one last sweet, gentle kiss to your cunt before moving the hand on your breast to one of your thighs as he guides you back down onto the bed. You’re panting and boneless as you watch him draw an arm over his cum-slicked chin and cheeks. For a moment he simply looks down at you, a victorious air about him as his eyes trace your sated features and his gorgeous chest heaves with labored breath, then he crawls forward on the bed, stretching himself out on his side next to you, his body flush with your own. He slips his hand over the soft skin of your belly and rubs it soothingly as he watches you with a little grin.

“You good?” he asks in a raspy murmur.

You reach for his face, bringing it to yours as you kiss him with what wherewithal you have. You pull away, still breathless.

“Am I good? Seo Changbin, I think I could fly.”

His answering smile is so filled with joy and pride and affection that you think you truly may have sprouted wings. You roll to your side to press yourself against him, your hand tugging at the waistband of his pajamas, but he takes your hand again in his.

“Not tonight.”

“Why?”

“Tonight is yours.”

“Bin…”

“I’m yours.”

You blink up at him, his head resting on his hand, his eyes sparkling and soft.

“If you’ll have me,” he raises your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “You don’t have to answer right now. I know you’re going through a lot, and this is all…new.” 

He smiles again, glancing down as his features take on a boyish shyness.

  “But I care for you. And, however things work out,” his eyes lock with yours again, “I’ll always protect you.” 

Your heart stands still. There are things that are too deeply lovely for words to be wasted on them. Any words but three - three that are already deeply true, but which have begun to mean something beautiful and different tonight, burying themselves like a little seed in your heart that needs time to grow. So for now you let yourself cry tears that fall like raindrops in the sunlight, and drift to sleep with the steady beat of Changbin’s heart.

“Ay!” Nari’s voice cuts through the din of chatter as her hand shoots out to narrowly prevent a fellow patron from snagging the chair beside her. “Sorry, seats are taken.”

She takes a sip of her beer and stretches her short legs as far as they will reach across the two empty chairs beside her.

“The guys are gonna have to hustle if they’re gonna sit with us,” she says reproachfully, dark brows rising as her eyes scan the venue for the bodies that belong in the seats you have been desperately attempting to reserve for the last hour.

The Eight Ball is crowded to bursting, and you scan the stage for signs of the evening’s openers. Checking your phone, you find that it’s nearly eight. You also find a text that brings a smirk to your lips.

“What?”

You glance up at Nari, who’s staring at you suspiciously.

“Nothing…” you mumble, flipping your phone back over onto the table. You sip your cocktail through a straw.

“Are you texting him?”

You nearly choke on your drink.

“What? Who?”

“You know who,” Nari mocks, narrowing her eyes at you. “The jerkwad.”

“Oh my god, Nari, no!” you sigh, as your phone buzzes again. 

She glances at it.

“Then what was with the look? Who are you…”

“Are these for us?” a voice belonging to a smiling, dimpled young man in a black hoodie with a matching beanie pulled over his head saves you from further explanation.

“Jesus, Chris, finally,” Nari admonishes as he takes the seat next to you, pulling her legs off the remaining chairs to free them up for the other two men that follow behind him. 

The freckled blond pulls Nari into a side hug which she returns, booping his nose before leaning across him to peer menacingly at his friend.

“Yo, Jisung,” she barks, “If you’re gonna order several hundred pizzas, how about taking some with you next time? My fridge is still stuffed.”

The young man blinks wide, surprised eyes at her before his brain catches up with her scolding.

“Sorry, but it wasn’t my fault!” he insists poutingly. “I ordered them because Changbin asked me to and then he canceled gaming weekend ‘cause he had a girl over.” he grumbles, causing the other two to snicker.

“Nice,” Chris giggles.

This time you do choke.

Your eyes fly to your best friend, watching the barrage of questions bubbling up on her face when a voice cuts through the din, silencing the crowd and unknowingly saving himself for the time being.

“Good evening, Eight Ballers!” Changbin rasps into his mic as Hyunjin waves, as ridiculously beautiful as ever, beside him.

You look at Changbin’s eyes.

They’re bright and confident and determined. You smile and cheer when he finishes introductions. As the band hits the first few notes of the opening number, his gaze finds yours, and it’s full of so many things.

His eyes sparkle with seven days worth of secrets – of waking up to your eyes and arms, of a weekend of nothing but bare bodies and hearts, of weeknight phone calls until the wee hours of the morning…of a new way of caring for each other that you’ll eventually tell the others, but that is just yours for now.

As you look at him, so full of adoration, you hope you can offer him even a fraction of the new world he’s only just begun to share with you – and the reflection you see a little more beautifully each day in the light of his eyes.

-Fin-

#changbin fic #changbin smut #changbin fluff #changbin x reader #changbin x you #changbin x y/n #changbin x female reader #changbin fanfic #changbin oneshot #changbin imagines #changbin scenarios #skz fic #skz fanfic #skz reader insert #skz imagine #skz scenarios #skz oneshots #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fic #skz smut #skz fluff #skz imagines #stray kids reader insert #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids oneshot #seo changbin fic #seo changbin smut

[merakiui]

Hey, so you've written step-bro and step-son scenerios for the twst boys. But do you have any thoughts about a step-dad scenerio?

(cw: yandere, nsfw, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stepcest, age gap but reader is written to be 18+)

Stepfather Crewel who loves you so much (and not in the platonic way). He wants you to know real, true love so that you won't fall for someone with a rotten personality or a penchant for doing scummy things! You should have high standards when it comes to your partners! Don't settle for the bare minimum. After all, your stepfather always has your best interests in mind. When it comes to fashion or makeup, he offers the best advice and insight. So this (allowing him to train your body to respond to all of his touches and words) shouldn't be any different. He's just getting you ready for when you inevitably do this with your lover (which will likely never happen because you only need your stepfather).

Vil is much the same. Your stepfather is so critical of your partners. Every one you've since brought home to meet him has yet to pass his test. You understand that your stepfather is only looking out for you, but does he have to be so harsh all the time? His standards are much too high. T_T at this rate, you don't think you'll ever find someone who'll he'll approve of. And so what? It's not like you need his approval; you're an independent adult. But then your last lover breaks your heart and the only one there to offer consolation is your stepfather. And with the alcohol numbing your logic and lowering your guard, you find yourself falling into bed with him.

Stepfather Floyd took to you right away! He's so sweet and caring, thinks you're the sweetest thing. You think he's very fun. He always brings you a little something from his time at work (he never discloses the exact specifics of his job, though). Sometimes it's a fancy-looking ring or a cute plushie. The gifts range in opulence and price, but you love all of them because they're genuinely thoughtful. To anyone else, this just looks like a stepfather spoiling his stepchild. But all of these gifts are courtship. Floyd loves you.

Stepfather Riddle... oooo maybe you sleep around and he doesn't like the fact that you're always sneaking out and being so disobedient. He's all for a spot of (safe and legal) fun every now and then, but you live such an unsafe, carefree life. As your stepfather, he worries for you. So he thinks he'll teach you a lesson. It's easy to catch onto your pattern. You think you've outsmarted him, so it's a shock when he pokes his head out the window and offers his hand to help pull you up. Oh, did you think you were being sly? Please, nothing slips past Riddle; he's not stupid. Obviously you don't know any better. You argue you're an adult, but Riddle's older and wiser. He bends you over his knee and spanks you for every week you've taken to slipping out of the house. You're his only stepchild; he just wants you to be safer and to stop opening your legs for anyone and everyone.

STEPFATHER ROLLO. orz he makes you help out around the church. You'd rather be doing anything else, but Rollo insists it's good for children and adults to help their parents when it's needed. You stick your tongue out at him. He's not your real father; you don't care. Rollo tries to build a happy rapport with you, but you're having none of it. It's frustrating, even more so because he genuinely cares for you (perhaps more than what's considered normal and healthy). He's not quite sure he wants to let you leave the house when you start expressing your desire to move out and pursue work/school elsewhere...

#twisted chit chat #n/sfw #tw: stepcest #tw: age gap

[klausysworld]

My latest obsession

Part 1

(Written from Klaus Mikaelson’s perspective)

Over the course of a thousand years relationships have come and gone without any trouble.

Tatia was first, though she chose my brother, I loved her to an extent. But when I think of her now I could never imagine wanting her, whether that is due to my other interactions with her doppelgängers I do not know.

Then it was Aurora. She was the first person to accept me, to learn my secrets and love me anyway. Aurora was the first to break my heart but not the last.

I fell in love time and time again, often the one I longed for was just out of reach. I grew to enjoy the chase, the thrill of burn. Once I had what I wanted, I struggled to ever let it go.

The first girl I had grown significantly attached to was one from a low status family and at the time I was regarded rather highly. Her mother had been working for me and had begged for a job for her daughter and with the push from Elijah I accepted. Her daughter was so scared all of the time, so skittish and apologetic that it was pathetic. But for some reason I enjoyed it. I liked to see how frightened I could get her, how close before I was touching her. It took much longer to get her into my bed compared to other woman of my past but the wait, the hunt had made it seem all that much more worth it. Nothing had felt better than finally having her after so long.

For a small while it was amazing. She was mine and she knew it. However once her mother found out, she was both petrified and horrified. She didn’t want us together, that much was abundantly clear.

I wasn’t sure where the anger had come from but when she kept trying to take my love away, the rage built. One thing lead to another and I had to kill her, Elijah was furious and my girl was distraught that her mother was dead, more so that it was my fault. I was willing to wait for her to grieve but Elijah, the Nobel and considerate Elijah, decided to ‘help’ her.

When I found out she was gone, I couldn’t stop myself from hunting her. She kept running and so I had to make sure that she couldn’t.

The snap of her neck rings through my head to this day, and the reminder of my inhuman strength.

Elijah was daggered for him part in her death and I moved away again.

Rebekah and Kol were both awake for the next girl. They both learned the hard way to not take her from me.

It became a pattern that every couple centuries, when we settled somewhere for too long, that I would attach my feelings to someone. Of course there were girls in between but love only came with the obsession.

However as time continued, I loved much less, felt less in general. I could feel myself becoming colder and I gradually became more calculated.

I rarely slept with the same woman more than three times unless I they were my witch, in that case I would keep them around satisfied before inevitably killing them.

Death was a quick and easy way to get rid of someone. I leant to kill the ones that I loved so that I could move on. Unhealthy? Perhaps, but effective nonetheless.

I hadn’t become attached to anyone is nearly over 300 years and I certainly didn’t plan to.

I didn't plan to do a lot of things.

However, when word spread of my doppelgänger being alive and ready to sacrifice, I ended up back in the dreaded town known as Mystic Falls. I had promised to only return to this part of the world under absolutely necessary circumstances after the memories that haunted the land.

My curse being broken was the most necessary situation.

Arrangements were made and I arrived in Virginia for both my doppelgängers, a werewolf and a vampire. I had already acquired my witch and she was more than eager, in many aspects.

Body-jumping was an old trick of mine. It was one that inexperienced supernaturals fell for easily. The spell went smoothly, I transferred myself in the vessel of Alaric Saltzman. He was close enough to the doppelgänger that he would be in on everything but not so close that they would notice if he behaved a little oddly, besides he had an excuse. He and his girlfriend were going through a rough patch. His ex-wife, Isobel told me all about it.

The town was dingy and had very little to do, a bar: the Mystic Grill-creative-, a primary school and highschool who were also recognised as the TimberWolves-ironic-, then quiet little businesses like coffee shops and flower boutiques. It was the kind of place where everyone knew everyone else's business and involve themselves as much as possible.

Not my kind of place. I didn't plan to stay long.

That plan went down the drain almost instantly once I saw her. She hadn't been at the school when I was teaching as Alaric and Katerina had only briefly mentioned her as she wasn't "anything special". Oh Katerina couldn't have been more wrong.

Knocking on the Salvatore's door and being greeted my Damon was the lowest point of my day though it surely skyrocketed when my eyes met hers. Y/n, I knew her name to be, immediately came over with a smile painted across her cherry lips. The body I was in went stiff and the inhalation of air I had just taken got trapped at the back of my throat when her arms went round my midsection. I let out the breath and took in another through my nose letting the rich, sweet, fruity, and sensual scent invade me.

Damon pulled her away with a grumble before I could react properly and she went and sat beside my old friend Stefan.

I cursed myself internally. Now was not the time to become focused on a girl. I needed to break my curse, build my army and eventually an empire. I needed to focus on the Bennett witch's plan however my gaze kept wondering over to Y/n.

Her features aligned themselves perfectly, her expression showing traces of anxiety making her little nose twitch like a bunny's as she leaned against Stefan's side for comfort. My eyes drifted to the smoothness of her neck, the desire to drag my teeth along it made my mouth water and my blood to rush lower. I sighed to myself and tried to regain focus but I kept looking back to her. My vision following the curve of her ample breasts. My jaw clenched at the way they pressed against each other and showed out of the top of her blouse. Continuing down her body remained exquisite, the way her hips were moulded made me want to grab them, I longed to have her on my lap. The plumpness of her ass would feel so good against my hands and the thickness of her thighs would wrap beautifully round my head.

My breathing was laboured and I had to close my eyes to gain some composure.

Everyone else left fairly quickly to get ready for the decade dance, Y/n included however Damon had grabbed my shoulder with an amused smirk on his face.

"Isn't it against some sort of code to be attracted to your students Ric?" He laughed, passing me a glass of bourbon. I cleared my throat and clenched my jaw before denying his accusation. But the bastard wouldn't let up. "Hey man I get it. We've all thought about her like that. Who wouldn't? She could be a goddamn pornstar-" He joked, at least I tell myself he was joking so that I didn't rip his throat out right there and then.

"Aren't you in love with Elena?" I questioned, brows high as I gave him a look and he shrugged.

"Wouldn't stop me from fucking Y/n" he muttered with a dazed expression as he imagined it. I couldn't help the rage forming within me but I bit it back and managed to get out.

Katerina knew something was up as soon as I stepped foot inside but kept her trap shut after I strangled her for questioning me. I was able to prepare myself and briefly push Y/n out of my mind as I went to the dance. She was out of sight which confused me but I pushed it to the back of my mind and followed through my plan to get the Bennett witch alone.

I had assumed my plan successful when Bonnie collapsed, blood trickling down her face and heart no longer beating. And so I made my way out of the building only to come face to face with my sweet girl. She scrambled to halt and looked up at me with nothing but panic in those round eyes of hers. I could feel a smile twitch at my lips as she bolted to her right and decided to indulge.

I chased her throughout the school, being in a human body made it a little trickier but all as much entertaining. I let out a laugh when I saw a window hanging open and put my head through it to see her running along the street opposite.

Smart little bunny.

I couldn't wait to be in my own form.

And soon enough, I was.

Just to my luck she was at the grill when I arrived. Sat with some humans that I didn't recognise while Damon and Alaric sipped their drinks and glanced over to her.

I made my approach, a couple gentle warnings and then ordered my girl a 'sex on the beach' cocktail. I placed it on the table in front of her, leaning right over the top of her to do so. Two of the girls she was with went pink and wide eyed as they became bashful. Y/n lifted her head back to look up at me and went a similar state. Her mouth gaped a couple of times making me smile and caress her shoulder as I made my way out of the grill.

I listened as her friends began to gush and ask who I was and she of course had no idea until Damon came and pulled her away, revealing the truth.

I stopped by her house before the ritual for my curse. I knocked the door and her parents answered. Before any questions could begin I compelled them to invite me in. Silly Bunny, not ensuring they intake vervain. I compelled them to ignore my presence whenever I was there and that was exactly what they did. Just pretended that I wasn't there.

I headed for her bedroom, rolling my eyes at the amount of pictures pinned against her walls and the mountain of teddy bears in their own corner of the room. I sat down at her vanity and opened the drawer revealing the abundance of makeup and perfume. I smelt each one to figure out which was the one that she was wearing when she hugged me.

Once I found it, I took a photo and put everything back. I pulled a single white rose out from the inside pocket of my jacket and placed it on top of the desk before leaving.

She was there at the ritual, she gave my brother a helpless look as he apologised for not killing me. Then we vanished and I finally shifted into my wolf for the first time in a thousand years.

It was a wonderfully freeing experience, being able to tear people and animals to shreds without a single care in the world. Elijah was cleaning up every last drop of blood, every paw print I left in the dirt, every bloody hair that I shed. Honestly at some points I wondered which one of us was supposed to be the dog.

The was only a short time gap where my wolf must have taken full control, but I knew exactly where it had taken me. I was sat on the street opposite Y/n's house and all I wanted to do was get her. I always had strong urges when I became obsessive but I assume this other half of me must've doubled down on those instincts because I got into that house within seconds. Elijah whisper yelled at me the entire time but was unable to get inside himself. My claws tapped against the wooden steps before I pushed her door open with my nose.

A low sound vibrated from my chest as I laid my eyes upon her sleeping form. The duvet was covering her entire body but her face was exposed, eyes closed and features relaxed. My body moved through her room with ease and stepped onto her double bed. It was smaller than my usual choice making it a little tight to lay down beside her but I just about fit in this form. I lay my chin against the crook of her neck and rest my eyes until the sun began to rise. Her sweet smell travelled throughout my system making my mind spin and blood rush.

I left early in the morning so she wouldn't wake with an animal in her bed, though part of me wanted to remain there regardless and entertain myself with her reaction. But alas, I did not.

I continued to terrorise a couple surrounding villages before eventually collapsing into a heap of exhaustion.

When I woke I was back in my usual human like form. A sense of exhilaration filled me at the knowledge of my achievement. Elijah wasn't exactly pleased with me but I didn't particularly care. He continued to pester me about our family and I ignored him as usual, my mind instead drifting back to Y/n.

Courting women had changed significantly through the centuries. I remember when a simple conversation with one's father would be enough for marriage. A few shiny pieces of jewellery and a nice dress and they would drop to their knees thinking I was an angel. Chasing girls now took a little more effort, flattery and gifts were still a definite yes however for whatever reason they had to be constantly reassured of my feelings which would be a tad more difficult if things went according to plan and I was driving through North Carolina. However luckily, living as long as I have meant that I had a way with words, poems and letters along with flowers and other treats would have her heart racing all the same before I returned with my hybrids and took her for myself.

And that was exactly what I did.

I sent a bouquet of white roses each week along with a hand written note and a range of little gifts. It sated me enough as the days flew by of tracking down werewolves. I admit my spirits lowered when I experiment failed, my anger may have gotten the better of me for a split moment and I made sure to inform my dearest darling of what had occurred and how I planned to overcome the situation.

Things seemed to get a little better and then they got a lot worse.

Which was how I ended up driving a truck with my whining sister beside me and a more dead than usual Stefan in the back. The fucker had been keeping the doppelgängers survival a secret which was enough of a betrayal that I could ruin his life and still sleep like a baby.

Besides, I got to see my girl at the Senior Prank Night or whatever the stupid highschool tradition was in this town.

What wasn't good?

I found her in a classroom kissing a boy. A boy that was unfamiliar to be and completely irrelevant.

How on earth could she give herself to another when she so obviously obtained my affections, my love by this point. Were the diamond earrings and perfectly executed drawings of her not enough of a sign? Perhaps she was just crazy.

Didn't matter, I fixed it.

The boy was dead without a second thought and I dragged her screaming body into the gym where everyone else was. I left her on the ground against the wall while I continued to play out my theories.

She sobbed the entire bloody time.

Eventually I snapped and had her by the shoulders, holding her up so she couldn't reach the ground. Elena was whining to no end and Stefan was letting his emotions get the better of him but I ignored them as my eyes locked onto Y/n's watery ones.

"I will hurt you if you don't stop" I murmured, my voice purposely quiet so the others wouldn't hear our exchange. Unfortunately she still didn't shut up and my grip got tighter until she was surely bruising. I watched as she bit her tongue in an attempt to stop a cry leaving her and I slowly softened my hold as she choked and hiccuped her sounds down. I sat her back down on the floor and caressed her head gently "Don't run and don't speak" I ordered before turning back to the task at hand.

I caught sight of Rebekah who was already staring back at me with a small smirk playing on her lips. I brushed past her and told her to shut her mouth as I made my way to the ripper.

By the end of the evening Tyler was officially my first successful hybrid. And, as I had assumed, he was sired to me. I had Elena, Y/n and Rebekah in my car and we were on the way to the hospital. Rebekah had been trying to get Y/n to say something for five minutes now and I could tell my girl just wanted to be at home but she wouldn't be going there as of right now.

I pulled up outside of the hospital and told Rebekah to have the nurses take as much of Elena's blood as they could without her dying. Then I turned round to see Y/n looking back at me with wide eyes. I unclipped my belt and reached over my seat to reach her. A whimper of distress broke from her as I pulled her out of her seat and onto my lap. Her body was tense but she was smart enough not to pull away just yet.

I sighed and leaned back with her in my hold. She wouldn't understand how much I had needed that. My hand slid up along her arm, my eyes glancing to the already forming bruises from where I'd grabbed her. The deepening violet looked so beautiful against her skin, I stroked along it soothingly with a small hum.

"I do wish you hadn't been with that boy" I muttered and she sniffed. "What was his name?" I asked and she made a small sound of upset,

"Elliot" She whispered to me

"Elliot" I repeated, letting the bitterness of his name linger on my tongue, "What was so special about Elliot?"

"I dunno...he was nice" she sniffled and I let out a small chuckle

"Someone like you should never settle for 'nice' " I told her and she frowned making me feel the crease of her skin between her brows with my fingertip.

"What would I settle for if not nice?" she asked quietly making me smile and caress her cheek, not reacting to how she flinched at the contact.

"You'll learn to settle for me" I mumble "Even if it takes you a while to realise it. You'll love me." I tell her with a hum.

"Why?" she whispered and I tilted my head asking for her to say a little more. "Why do you want me to love you so bad?"

"Haven't you read my letters?" I questioned and she nodded "Perhaps you didn't read them properly. They should explain why." I answer and I know I'm right. I tell her a hundred different ways why I love her and why we shall be together, she just has to look for them.

One day she'll understand.

(This is gonna be a multiple part story from Klaus’s perspective. I just wanted to try out writing from his point of view. I’m aware that it needs more work but this is my first shot at it❤️)

#yandere wolf klaus #yandere klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson yandere #yandere tvd #klaus mikaelson #the originals #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikealson fanfiction #klaus mikaelson one shot #klaus mikaleson imagine #rebekah mikaelson #the vampire diares imagine #elijah mikaelson #niklaus imagines #kol mikaelson #tvd klaus #niklaus mikaelson #klaus m #klaus mikaelson x y/n #klaus michaelson #tvd universe #hope mikaelson #klaus mikaelson headcanon #klaus mikaelson fluff #klaus mikealson smut #klaus mikaelson x yn #klaus mikealson x reader #tvdu angst #tvd fluff

[sunshine-jesse]

The Incest End is Not The Bad End, Part 2: The Sane Ending Is Still A Bad Ending

In the first essay I wanted to deconstruct the idea that Ashley was the sole perpetrator of abuse. I wanted to take a look at how unhealthy their dynamic actually was and lay out clear indications that Ashley could, at the very least, fix her own problems, and wasn't a lost cause. I also wanted to show that them ending up together, be it romantically, in death, or even platonically (although I'm not convinced the Sane Burial ending can lead to that) was inevitable.

Here, however, I want to make a more difficult argument: That their relationship turning romantic is not just Not That Bad, but actually Good, at least in the context of what's best for the two of them in the long run. And to do that, I'm going to draw comparisons to the common narrative that it's the bad ending, again. I think it's the easiest way to explain my points, even though it might make me seem like I'm being contrarian or playing the Devil's Advocate.

But I'm not. I actually do think this is the only way they can heal. Why?

WELL.

My biggest driving factor for this belief is and always has been the difference in tone between the two endings. The 'correct' ending under conventional understandings of morality and relationships would be one where he breaks away from Ashley, but the only ending in which that's shown to be possible is the Decay ending. In the ending where Ashley has bullets in the gun (and therefore has control over the situation), she has to yield control over the situation to Andrew, and (going off the reading I established in the last essay) he understands and accepts just how much their dynamic means to him and how important Ashley really is to him.

In a sense, he self-actualizes in the same way he does in the Burial ending: Ashley yields control where it matters the most in both, resulting in him he fully understanding and accepting himself and what he wants, because Ashley's controlling nature no longer prevents him from seeing the truth. Ashley no longer casts a shadow that allows him to be blind to his true nature- his true desires.

In the Burial ending, he wants her either romantically and sexually (in the questionable ending) or as a friend (in the sane one). He lets go of his own need to control her, and accepts the fact that he was never better than her to begin with. In the Gun!Decay ending, he wants her dead. The damage has been done. Whatever final line was crossed made him realize that he can't control Ashley, and a world in which she cannot be controlled is one better off without her.

But in both, he can't live without her.

The tone of the Decay ending is tense. It's dismal. It's emotionally ravaging. Andrew is not acting like someone who wants to break free, he's acting like someone who has given up. He's angry and he's suicidal, but he no longer has any reservations about making intimate physical contact with Ashley.

…and Ashley looks terrified and sad, especially in the last screenshot, which gives off some seriously dark implications about what Andrew might do to her in the Decay route.

He's given up on healing. He's given up on being normal. His heart and his mind both Decay as he's dragged along by an Ashley who's doing whatever she can to try to not allow a murder-suicide to happen and only making it worse in the process, because SHE has no foundation through which to improve or change her perspective on the world, either (more on that below).

In the NoGun!Decay ending, we don't know what he does after. He fails to self-actualize because Ashley never yields that need for control, and he follows the same pattern he always does of resorting to violence the moment he thinks he's losing control. I highly doubt that the ending would be much different- he'd probably just mirror Ashley's reaction of violently kicking the body at first, but he probably wouldn't last long after. Both, in an attempt to regain control or save their own lives, feel temporary relief at the death of the other, because they no longer feel trapped and afraid of what will happen if they leave.

But they also both fail to come into their own as people. Their dynamic- of Ashley being the morally bankrupt one willing to do anything to further their own survival, and Andrew being the one who's careful and calculating and preventing her short-sightedness from causing unintentional consequences- was the only thing that allowed them to survive in the first chapter, and more than likely the second (we don't see the consequences of them not having the trinket's power in ep2 so it's impossible to say for sure). If they don't kill themselves after losing the other and failing to self-actualize, it's almost certain that the world will eat them alive. They're outlaws, on the run, and have nobody to lean on but themselves. Without each other to lean on, it's only a matter of time until they fall.

So. The Decay ending is very obviously bad. There is no freedom to be had from them breaking away from the other; only despair and death. There's catharsis to be had in miserable people meeting a miserable end, sure, but the story goes out of its way to show us that the path to that end will be miserable and unfun and horrifying with the only joy to be derived from it coming from pure schadenfreude. But the story itself makes it clear that this is not intended to be a happy ending and thinking of it as such means you're fundamentally incompatible with what it's trying to convey. It's just a horrifying tragedy of two people who never gave each other what they needed to heal and tore down everything around them in the process.

So, how is the Burial ending better?

The lighter tone is immediately obvious. Ashley trusts Andrew to believe in her, and Andrew goes up to bat for Ashley even in the face of an arguably superficial offer to improve his life; to start it anew. The two just generally have a good time together afterwards, joking around, having fun, and ribbing on each other in a way that comes off as playful rather than hurtful. Andrew, finally, makes progress towards -healing,- because he finally stopped lying to himself about how important Ashley is to him. Why do I think it's a sign of healing, exactly?

Because Andrew, for the first time in the story, is comfortable with what he's doing.

He's comfortable with dismembering their parents. He's rarely tense, hesitates much less, and comforts Ashley instead of just seeking comfort from her. He gives more than just temporary emotional validation; a lot more. So much more, in fact, that it makes ASHLEY uncomfortable. She has difficulty processing not having their push and pull dynamic. She thinks something is off, something is wrong, because she's never seen Andrew so comfortable around her before, or at least lacking reservations in showing that comfort.

She still thinks about the idea of controlling him, of trying to get him to stay. There's internal monologue about it. But that's the difference. Before, we rarely see any internal monologue of her thought patterns- she just acts. Not thinks. But here, she's unsure. Here, she has to look inward. She has to self-reflect. She still frames it as her trying to keep Andy around, but Andrew is making it obvious in both words and actions that he will always be there for her, and he's so COMFORTABLE about it.

Regardless of what her actions in episode 3 end up being, it's still clear to me that the foundation for her to heal is there. She's safe, because she has a warm, comfortable place to return to while she figures herself out.

"So," you might be asking, "doesn't this imply that she'll heal no matter what? Doesn't that make incest technically unnecessary?"

Yes and no. Yes, in the fact that we still see a marked improvement in their dynamic in the Refusal path.

No, in that the Sane ending's tone is still much different.

After the dream sequence, Andrew reveals that he never fell asleep. He never sees that vision. He still self-actualizes to some degree, probably, but he never has his desires laid so bare for him because he doesn't dream. But you have to place sunlight on the left side to see this, so it still leads me to believe that they still grasp the importance of their relationship in that ending. It's just that…

I don't think that they ever, truly heal. I think that they just grow distant. I'll elaborate on what I think that means later down the line.

In the Sane ending, they have much less fun with each other. They don't playfully rib on each other as much- the eulogy in particular seems more spiteful than playful- and they're much less physically affectionate towards each other. It's not dismal. It's not dark or depressing. It's not tense. It's just… there. It's boring. Nothing has changed, and neither has Andrew, which Ashley views him not sleeping as a sign of.

But in the Questionable ending, he -does- sleep.

So what does sleep mean here? It means he can't sleep if he feels he's missing something. It means something is lacking in his life. Something is missing. Is it Ashley's affection? Well, yes, but also not just that. Ashley is just a representation of what he needs: Comfort. Someone to rely on. Someone he know won't leave him. I believe they have the same needs, and those needs just manifest differently. Andrew never had to worry about Ashley leaving him because Ashley was so obsessive that she managed to fill in the all-consuming void that mental illness creates.

But I think in the Sane ending, he starts to doubt that. In the Sane ending, he starts to shake his desire for Ashley. Which is great, right? It means they can finally go down a more conventional, safe path and have a relationship that's societally acceptable. The safe, boring ending that normies would enjoy.

But the fact that he doesn't sleep means that, even if he shakes that desire, he can't shake the need for what she provides.

Because he never sees the vision, he never gets that confirmation that he can pursue a more physically affectionate relationship with Ashley, and given that physical affection is a huge part of the equation for making him feel comfortable and happy (see: the couch scene, where he's the happiest he is in the whole game before the Burial route), he never truly believes he can seek it from her. He never gets it from the one person he trusts to always be around. He never gets that final affirmation that it's okay to be with the one person who has always mattered to him the most, and always will.

If we're to take the scenes at the end of episode 2 as metaphors for what will happen- or has to happen- for the siblings to get the best outcome for their well being (even at the expense of others), then the Questionable route involves Ashley loosening her grip on Andrew and having him naturally fill in the roles she wanted him to all along. But in the Sane route, Ashley bottles up every soul see shes, aside from what's commonly assumed to be Andrew's, who she is uncharacteristically cavalier about letting go.

She's still the same. She still wants to entrap people, and never let them go. She just happens to no longer want to do it to Andrew. She never fundamentally changes. And Andrew?

His soul has nothing to say. It's pitch black. It almost looks demonic, having literally the same color scheme as the Entity and Lord Unknown. If it's already demonic, then it stands to reason that a demon wouldn't want it, because it's just more of the same. Nothing special, nothing they would want, nothing that would be useful to them. In other words… just like Ashley?

He has- or will have- a tar soul.

And what does tar do?

It sticks.

It's the Sane path to take because it involves them conforming to societal expectations. It involves them fitting in, acting as they should, and doing what's expected of them without much fuss. But in the world they're in, they're expected to harm everyone around them. To kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. To never become themselves, and never be truly happy. To never ask questions.

And they'll do all of that, whether they stick together or not. The only difference is how many people they stand to hurt, and whether they're truly happy at the end of it all.

There's a reason the souls of one of the parents- commonly thought to be Mrs. Graves- was unhatched. She probably wanted to love her children. Even Ashley. She just never did, because the world never let her be herself. She never became whole, because it would've resulted in her being too dark to fit into society. But the siblings have a chance to do so. They have a chance to truly focus on each other so they can heal and become better, happier, more complete people in a world that's doing everything it can to incentivize otherwise.

It's just a bit unfortunate for some that Andrew has to fill a hole to become whole.

#the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #ashley graves #coffincest #i am absolutely doubling down on this #nay #quadrupling down

[sleeplesssmoll]

Hot Take/Analysis: Sonetto went from the Foundation's cage to Vertin's leash.

Sonetto has more freedom in a physical sense. She can explore the world, experience new things, all that good stuff.

But mentally, she's still trapped.

Sonetto believes she's merely a supporting character in Vertin's story, almost admitting this to Sophia in the most recent chapter. She perceives her role as clearing the path for more significant figures capable of making an impact.

This echoes her mindset from her time with the Foundation.

Despite her undeniable prowess, Sonetto humbly sees herself as a tool for advancing supposedly "more important" causes, thus undervaluing her own worth.

When Sonetto and Vertin save Regulus and the Investigators from Manus, Sonetto's teammates express relief upon seeing her, trusting in their captain to save the day. Though Vertin initiates the action by reacting to the threat faster (her perception and ability to sense arcanum is beyond many other arcanists), Sonetto's swift response and strength play a crucial role. Despite their collaborative effort, she credits Vertin disproportionately, attributing their success mostly to Vertin's guidance and perception. It's a reocurring pattern for Sonetto to downplay her own brilliance. This leads into my next point.

LOOK AT VERTIN'S FACE WHEN SONETTO IS IN DANGER. Sonetto is so quick to defend Vertin, she ends up stressing the Timekeeper out. She was ready to die a martyr, now she's ready-- too ready to die for Vertin.

While we know Vertin has expressions, their usually subdued because she's "stoic". For her to spring up out her chair like that and show real panic is something we haven't seen from her thus far. For example, we know she gets furious with Arcana because her bangle starts searing into her skin, but her expression just looks a little mad without displaying the full extent of her fury. Btw I go more in depth Sonetto's effect on Vertin in this post and this one I made later if you're interested.

Sonetto is highly competent, but completely dependent on others in the fact that her "purpose", her "value", is assigned to her by others.

Sonetto doesn't need Vertin to shine, but only Vertin seems to get that out of the two of them. At least she dotes on the puppy? She didn't put the leash there but at the same time...

Do you think Vertin would want to remove it? Isn't it a nice safeguard if Sonetto thinks she needs Vertin? If the puppy is happy, isn't it fine to keep the leash their so it doesn't wander too far? Maybe she'll let Sonetto break this habit on her own instead of giving her insight as usual.

Vertin asks for nothing, wants for nothing, and is always ready to share joy with others.

So can't she be a little selfish this time? Can't she have just one thing in her life that? She's already lost so much.

Is this post just an excuse to lay the groundwork for Toxic TK14 due to codependency??

Codependency: An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment. An extreme need for approval and recognition. A sense of guilt when asserting themselves. A compelling need to control others. Codependency is a circular relationship in which one person needs the other person, who in turn, needs to be needed

#reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 analysis #sonetto #vertin #i think i posted this before #that or at some point in time i really did write that fic

[siren-sashimi]

Dating the Uchiha boys - the down sides Headcanon list [Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Obito, Uchiha Shisui x gn! reader]

Contents and warnings: quarrels in a relationship, egotistical behavior, toxic masculinity, emotional repression, arguments

Sasuke Uchiha Oh boy, where do I even begin?

A lot of his issues - most of them begin with him having a little brother inferiority complex.

He is a master through effort. While Sasuke can be and is rightfully proud if his achievements, his pride can easily fall apart when he doesn't receive recognition from his family.

Since he's so fixated on his family's approval, he tends to blend out any other significant relationship while working towards his goal.

In short: Proud but fragile ego. 

While he would never hurt you physically or aiming at hurt you emotionally or psychologically, when Sasuke is in a reckless mood or angry he lash out such harsh feelings on you by being abrasive, grumpy, or saying that your help is useless.

Sasuke has a hard time processing feelings, mostly he processes them via anger.

Sometimes looks for fights/arguments when he's in a foul mood. Another person making a joke on Sasuke's expenses. Expect that you need to drag Sasuke out of the room before things go out of hand.

Positive note: He is capable of arguing with you. Or let's say: Your argument can end in aggressive shouting matches where he can be an insensitive ass. Afterwards he will stew in his anger and a bit of selfrighteousness before he slowly considers that there might be truth to what you said...

Here's the issue: Sasuke does deeply care for you. He doesn't actually date you as much as he fell in love with you and got over himself to ask you to stay by his side. His kind of love is quiet, more expressed in action, due to the fact that he isn't good at expressing himself with words. So he does seem withdrawn, or it doesn't seem comprehensible why he keeps you around four outsiders. (Even for you by times.)

Homeboy can change and get better but the process demands time, clear boundaries, and patience...

Once figured out that he's really good at sex and for a while tries to use to distract you from arguments.

You have to be the mature one in this relationship.

Generally, it would be better if you had an established friendship where most qualms between the two of you are settled before you feel ready to take on all the complication with romantic problems...

Itachi Uchiha

Constantly under pressure from family as oldest son. By times the family and social expectations will interfere with your private life planning.

Itachi has a hard time fighting back, by times he doesn't even know that he should. Sometimes all the demands loaded on him take up too much of his energy and health to have the energy to fight back. Other times some things are too ingrained in him by his upbringing too properly reflect on how adequate they actually are...

When you try to explain to him that he should not take up everything or say no, he needs a long time realizing that this isn't a(nother) request for your happiness but that you see unhealthy patterns, dynamics, and demands put on him. He's barely used to people being concerned for him for his own sake.

Is unconscious of him guarding himself from his lover. He will act as everything was fine without opening up about things that worry him. It takes a long time to slowly remove the bricks from his walls.

Another family issue is his relationship with his younger brother: Sasuke is one of Itachi's top priorities, even when Sasuke messes up. Their dynamic is not always harmonic either because Sasuke feels so often inadequate, if not jealous when compared to his brother.

It's quiet asymetrical how much work you've to put into Itachi standing up for himself (and your relationship) against his family but he will immediately do a 180 flip for his little brother, no questions asked.

Can't take breaks. Tries not to let his composed façade crack, so even if he knows if he's overworked, struggles with health, he's too stressed out by all the things he wants to get done to stop for his own sake.

At risk to implode from external pressure. 

What the two of you need is private space where time belongs to you and into which his family can't just barge in as they please. 

It's disheartening how little he would actually open up to you, be vulnerable. It's about him feeling safe around you to be himself. Give him time don't push him but set boundaries how much you can bear to see him struggling with the weight on his shoulder.

Obito Uchiha

a lot of problems begin and end with Obito's deeply seated insecurity. Things like his work or making his idealized visions give a strong sense of control and mastering the situation so they became his compensatory tactics. Not that he can't learn and rethink small things but he can be so stubborn, some criticism may reach far deeper into is self-confidence than you or even he actually expected.

Since his childhood he spend so much time in isolation, he can also be emotionally immature and trying to fill the void from all the things he has been deprived of.

Emotionally immature when it comes to romance. In the beginning of your relationship his state of mind is basically the one of a hormonal teenager.

Being with someone in a romantic way fulfils multiple needs for Obito: Being finally shown affection he's so starved for, well um... "physical yearning", finally a stable constant in his life.

May not seem like it but only functions at work because there hardships of life can be solved with a clear goal. Tendencies to be a workaholic to bury emotions he doesn't know how to handle.

In the beginning you're basically an idol  for his emotional salvation. You having diverging expectations, or don't need or want all cliché romantic gestures but Obito being himself is something he needs to learn.

Needs basic sex ed. He knows a lot from having read Icha Icha during down time but oh boy. Some moments when you first had sex were baffling if not hilarious with some ideas Obito had.

So headstrong. When he's convinced of what he does is correct counterarguments are either ignored or escalate into heated fights. Takes counterarguments 

But also actually very insecure. Obito is so insecure about conflict, too self conscious of his looks, of past mistake that he tries to overcompensate with any other quality, only to then implode that he's not enough in any way.

Obito needs to learn that differing opinions don't mean immediate break up or the end of the world. You'll love him through the thick and the thin. 

He will need to learn that pushing you away because of self loathing is what causes the rift, not what he hates himself about him.

Shisui Uchiha Most stable of all of them.

but like all of them his family, more accurately their expectations for other family members, are a source of omnipresent pressure.

Since he's not part of the main family expectations are not as high but he too has to act the proper part.

Tries to keep you away from family affairs to the extent of him wanting to do with them as little as possible. 

Itachi's fine, Sasuke's around too but these two are the exception. Even they won't talk about family matters though.

So there's always a part of his life you feel excluded from, the part Shisui only shares with Itachi.

Easy going in relationships but kinda tends to overlook underlying problems. To Shisui being with you is a refuge from family drama where he's the happiest, and well... compared to what the Uchihas can be up to any problem can be minor.

But Shisui is understanding though. If you clearly speak your mind how you're unhappy with the way certain things are, he might be able to get around to better things.

But you also need to be an active part in your time together. Whereas Shisui's cousins have very personal flaws, Shisui himself is a very reasonable person. You can grow together.

A bit secretive. Nothing major that would burden your relationship still you wish he'd be able to talk about uncomfortable things a bit more...

Don't swallow up frustration but look out for the right time to confront Shisui with things that bother you. If he feels stressed with work and family matters he can get quiet aggressive in tone.

#Sasuke Uchiha x reader #Itachi Uchiha x reader #Obito Uchiha x reader #Shisui Uchiha x reader #Naruto x reader HC #Lily note pad

[actual-changeling]

On unhealthy relationship dynamics

A little while ago, I stumbled across a post discussing Aziraphale's character on a meta level, and without knowing the content, I was completely unprepared when one single sentence pushed me from 'uncomfortable but doable' into 'triggered and panicking'. The post itself was triggering from start to finish, but that phrase stood out to me.

Why am I telling you this?

After calming down and thinking about it for a few hours, I realised what exactly my brain had reacted to—victim blaming rhetoric repackaged to fit Aziraphale and Crowley's situation. Victim blaming is, to provide a short summary, the act of putting blame for mistreatment on the victim instead of the perpetrator. It's a concept often used in r/pe discussions, but it can be applied to any abusive or non-abusive situation as long as a power imbalance is created, meaning you have at least one person harming another in whatever shape or form.

If you broaden the definition, you can apply it to more situations, including—and this is where we reach the actual topic—their relationship and the Final Fifteen (F15).

That is exactly what some people have been doing—putting all the blame on Crowley and absolving Aziraphale of any and all responsibility as if it were his fault that Aziraphale broke his heart

Before anyone runs to the comments, let me clarify what I assume will be the FAQ.

no, I do not think Aziraphale is abusive

I do not think that their relationship is abusive either

no, I do not hate Aziraphale

yes, I know what I am talking about

everything I will talk about is largely based on what we as the audience actually see and know, combined with interpretations of the intentional subtext Neil wrote into the show.

I have been actively in this fandom since the second season was released, and I have seen a lot of (hopefully accidental) ableist & generally insensitive takes. These are the ones I see the most and what I personally consider to be important topics of discussion, but the same logic I will be applying to these can be applied to many, many more situations.

Since my meta posts get very long very quickly, I will be posting them in parts and always linking back to the others, plus this one as the masterpost.

Part 1—Nice Is A Four Letter Word

The basic pattern is this:

Aziraphale refers to Crowley with a 'nice' term -> Crowley gets upset and tells him to stop -> Aziraphale hears him but continues anyway.

There are reasons behind Crowley's rejection, and I will go into detail, but I want to make one thing very clear: It does not matter why Crowley asked him to stop. He set a boundary, and Aziraphale repeatedly and intentionally overstepped it; this causes understandable anger and frustration.

Crowley does not owe Aziraphale an explanation, just like you would not owe someone an explanation when you don't want to be called x-term. Mutual respect requires the acceptance of personal boundaries like that, and by breaking them over and over again, Aziraphale tells Crowley that his own wants are more important than Crowley's needs.

In the 1827 Edinburgh flashback, we see the consequences of Crowley doing good/being called good (which are usually connected, meaning if they notice someone is calling Crowley good, he most likely did something to cause that) firsthand, and so does Aziraphale. He gets dragged down to hell and tortured for up to thirty years.

Even before that, Crowley expresses numerous times how hell punishes good deeds, and they are 'always listening' in on him. You would assume that Aziraphale would stop to keep him safe—and yet he doesn't because he cannot accept the reality of Crowley's situation and refuses to listen to him.

On top of that, Aziraphale only ever "praises" Crowley when he does something he personally sees as praiseworthy, aka something good/kind/nice/angelic/etc. but never when it is something that CROWLEY would like to be praised for, or at the very least acknowledged. We see it in season 2 over and over and over again: Aziraphale cares for no one's thoughts or plans except his own and has no interest in even hearing Crowley out.

Aziraphale calling him nice is not a sweet little gesture, it is an intentional overstepping of a boundary Crowley has been trying to enforce for centuries, and it reinforces the dichotomy of good angels/bad demons, with angelic existence being the ultimate goal. At the very least, it's disrespectful towards Crowley, and at worst, it is actively keeping Crowley in a trauma response, tugging on his leash whenever he tries to explain reality to Aziraphale.

To have a healthy relationship, Aziraphale needs to stop.

part 2 - part 3

#alex talks good omens #good omens meta #crowley meta #aziraphale meta #go meta #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen

[passionateseadruid]

Snake King’s Bride

Warning: Profanity (The F bomb), unhealthy relationships, human sacrifice, deals with the devil. (Why tf am I writing this 😭(because I had an idea and it wouldn’t get out of my head that’s why)) Other warnings may be added.

Part one The Exchange

You were so excited to move out and go to college. But in this economy everything is expensive, so you got a roommate and a job at this adorable little thrift store. (Employee discount for the win). 

“Bye, Lilian! I’m off to work!”

“Okay! I’ll be home late, so don’t wait up!”

“Alright! If you feel unsafe or if you want to leave the concert early feel free to call me!”

“Okay!”

You made your way to your job and entered the shop.

“Kaitlyn I’m here!”

“Oh hey! Come in come in! I was just reorganizing some stuff.” She stood on a chair as she swapped some things on shelfs, next to her lay a bag of flower petals (fake ones most likely).

“Anything new or interesting get dropped off?”

“My step-sister Regan dropped off a ring earlier today.” She said hopping down.

“Ooh! What does it look like?”

“It’s gold and it’s shaped like a snake coiled around your finger. And it’s eating a little ruby in the shape of an apple.”

“Can I see it?”

“You’re… interested?”

“I guess you could say so.”

She smiled, almost exited and relieved at once. “I’ll go get it.”

She left and after a few minutes you were worried so you went to find her and you heard her talking in the break room.

“…

I promise she’s perfect

…

Trust me! Rea Rea doesn’t have to get hurt

…

See?!

…

Oh thank you!” She walked out of the break room and you hid behind a clothing rack. 

You pretended to be coming back from the bathroom. “Hey, I just want to say that I hope you know I’m here for you if you need anything. Like I know this is out of pocket but I thought I’d tell you because we’re getting close.”

“I’m fine. Here’s the ring.”

“This is beautiful!”

“Put it on!”

“What? Why?” You laughed.

“Why not? I won’t tell. Just do it.”

“Okay but only for a minute.” You slipped it on. “Okay that’s enough… why won’t it come off?”

“It’s… not coming off?” Kaitlyn asked nervously.

“I’m going to see if I can loosen it with maybe some soap or something. Where did your sister get this ring by the way?!” You yelled from the bathroom. The shop was usually empty on weekdays so you didn’t really care about how loud you were being.

“Um… my little sister said that it was a family heirloom to be passed down to the first woman born into that family on her 20th birthday.”

“Okaaaay…”

“I’m not finding anything; but while you have that ring on why don’t we have some fun!”

“What do you mean by that?” You asked cautiously.

“Why don’t we just pretend that you’re getting married?”

“What?” You laughed.

“Come on! It’ll be fun!”

"Why not?" You smiled.

You pulled out an old wedding dress and the matching shoes. She arranged the flower petals from before in a circular pattern and placed some candles around. "I think this dress might be a bit big on me."

"I'll grab some safety pins." Kaitlyn smiled.

You changed into the dress and when you went to zip it up it felt like the dress shrunk to fit snuggly on you. It was a white ballgown dress with a sweetheart neckline and long sleeves. She then changed into some white close toed wedges with faux gemstones dangling from the strap. It felt like the shoes were expanding as you slipped into them. "Huh, everything is a perfect fit." You then slipped on a chocker that had two rows of pearls and a big diamond in the center and finally placed the veil that came with the dress on top of your head.

Stepping out Kaitlyn had adjusted the veil to cover your face and lead you over to the ring of flowers. "Okay stand here for a second."

"Kaitlyn, something doesn't feel right about this." You said as you stepped into the circle.

"Shut up."

"Excuse you!"

Kaitlyn starts speaking in Latin as you try to step out of the circle. "Kaitlyn stop! You're scaring me!" A forcefield stopped you from leaving the circle. "What the fuck? What the fuck is this? Let me out!"

A fiery rift slices through the air and a dark demonic voice calls out.

"Please, Dark King of hell take her as your bride in exchange for Regan!"

"Deal now leave me be."

"What NO!" You screamed as the floor erupted from under you.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fandom #vivziepop #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin lucifer #hazbin #hazbin lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer x reader #yandere lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #yandere lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin yandere lucifer #lucifer magne x reader #lucifer hazbin #Hazbin Lucifer Morningstar x reader

[snoocupz]

Pulls up my sleeves

I'm thinking about my headcanons for the Gavin family and Klaviers family trauma tonight... again.

I'm thinking about. How Klavier grew up with the mindset that his family life was very normal and healthy the way it was because he never got a different example of what familiar love or love in general looks like.

He's assured his parents gave the best. He's assured his brother gave his best. He feels zero anger towards all the things they did to him for a long period of time.

He feels nothing about the fact that his parents showered him with attention until he formed an own personality and then dropped him completely. He believes every lie they tell him about being busy and he takes every criticism from them by heart, even if uncalled for or straight up unfair. He was not the child his parents ever aimed for but despite all he always tried to be that child.

He doesn't even notice how dependent he is on Kristoph and how easily Kristoph can take decisions for him. Whatever Kristoph disagrees with Klavier will disagree with, whatever Kristoph says is right is the law. He doesn't even notice how much of a grasp Kristoph has on him and that his brother is addicted to the control he has. He doesn't notice that Kristoph probably stood in his way of many opportunities and relationships whenever Kristoph decided it would make him lose power over his little brother. To Klavier that was care and love.

Kristoph has an unhealthy obsession with taking everything under his control and Klavier is the strongest victim. Nd Kristoph; He never makes mistakes - so whenever mistakes show up they are Klaviers fault, never Kristophs.

Kristoph probably had his hands in Klaviers life and career much more and he knows how to make Klavier feel the best( or the worst) - in mere seconds and the moment Kristoph is gone, plus showing his dissapointment about Klavier in the last case - his whole world just breaks together because his own biggest hero and family turned out to be horrible in everyone's eyes and Klavier has felt so connected with Kristoph that he immediately believes he must be just as bad as his brother.

It takes him ages to realise he's been living in an abusive relationship and pattern all his life and he doesn't handle the information well. On one day he cuts all his hair and throws plates against the wall out of anger of trusting and believing into Kristoph, on another day he wishes nothing more than to have his family back. For a long time he'd also refuse any sort of affection and love because they feel fake to him and he'd worry someone else would trap him in an abusive circle. And he's so bad at sorting his feelings and thoughts about it that it's all just buried in there and occasionally breaks out, forcing him to not only take a break from music but also a step away from prosecution out of fear of having a crooked view on justice because "Kristoph must have left his evil in him somehow."

Klavier... Klavier... :(

#Rambling tonight #I'm in bed wirh a cold and thanking about them #Klavier Gavin #Klavier Gavin my beloved #Kristoph Gavin #I love thinking and talking about them #ace attorney #aa #apollo justice

[sunlit-mess]

Please ignore if it's not your kind of conversation, but I've been wondering what's going on with me and I was wondering if you might be willing to share how you knew you had BPD or what that process was like for you. Thanks

Hello, I hope you're doing ok!! And I hope what I share can help, it's best to reach out. ::)

My discovery in BPD started at 17 when dad finally realized something is wrong with his oldest daughter. His exact words were that I was deteriorating and he hated seeing it. (Him and I have a complicated relationship, but we love our families just the same)

Although the symptoms started earlier than that, cue in childhood traumas, a shitty high-school, struggle with connection to other people and growing with a fucked up family.

To break it down:

My earliest symptoms were Abandonment issues and Paranoia (as a child), that I seemed like I had separation anxiety that engaged in people-pleasing. I hardly remember the rest of my childhood as if those memories are locked far in my head.

The next was until first year high-school where I started to develop obsessions, to an extent I seemed like a stalker. Naive, my relationships with other people always ended up toxic that even if I was so aware of it, I couldn't care less as long as they never leave me and such. Fortunately, I gave up and cut off. I remained an outcast, indifferent and it stayed that way.

Trouble in high-school was something, but what's worse was the toxicity in my own house, my family. What else could I do? Where else could I run to?

My moods started to have intense erratic patterns or just completely random and confuses most. As the years pass by, more obsessions and unhealthy habits developed as a way to "cope" or just felt what was right, what I deserve. This affects me as a whole because I never grew out of it. I never grew out of how we are treated in this house even until now that I am in college. I struggle in life AS A WHOLE from mentally to physically and so on.

Everyday I feel like I'm at war with my own head, my own self, feelings of hate and love, to other people and more in-between. And I'm actually always on edge as if it could be my last day. There are the endless list of what I have to hide and so much more confusing feelings, behaviors, and thoughts. Just to consider being, functioning "normal".

I actually struggle to voice these experiences, because I've been called insane and worse. Life keeps giving me lemons and I'm so, extremely, tired, but I can't give up as much as I want to. I have younger siblings I do not want to share this burden with.

I handle all of this myself ever since, even financially.

Lately, from my last consultation, was found out the disorder was also rooted from Autistic traits early life to adulthood in a way I couldn't show because of how we are treated at home. So.. To be fair it did make sense.

#messyr #I was planning to make a post abt my burnout experiences too LOL #vent post #bpd #comorbid conditions