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allylikethecat · 3 months

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Omg, also a TS fan since debut and I massively took a step back from her personally prior to the reputation era because of her antics and victim complex. The music will always mean so so much to me, her lyrics mean so much to me, but her actions as a person and TS™️ as an entity is just weird and greedy. I think she accrued a lot of fans when she disappeared for a while who've completely constructed a narrative in their heads of who she is and they believe it and are eating up this current era, but those who've been here a long time know how PR and image driven it is. Exhausting.

I apologize in advance I have been having way too many feelings about this whole situation and how it relates to my identity as a 28 year old woman and you are about to get an oversharing novel in response lol

Also, I guess CW: this post is about Taylor Swift and if anyone sends me any kind of hate or whatnot related to my own personal opinions and feelings I will be deleting it because I am NOT playing that game.

My Aunt bought me the Debut album CD at a concert after seeing her open for Rascal Flatts. She was like "I thought that you would like her!" and she was RIGHT Taylor Swift became my entire personality. One of my FAVORITE core memories as a child was the day Fearless came out. For some reason we didn't have school, and my Mom and I watched Taylor on the Ellen show, and then we went to Target and bought the physical CD, we then drove around town so we could listen to it together. My mom hasn't been well and that is one of my favorite memories of us together. It's silly but when you're in middle school that kind of thing is important to you. Then in high school I actually got MADE FUN OF for wearing Taylor merch and being excited about Red. BUT I loved her music and felt like she actually stood for something, so I brushed it off and continued to be a HUGE Swiftie. I had the Taylor Swift dolls, I had the perfumes, I had the LOVE LOVE LOVE bracelet, I had the sundresses from WALMART. I saw her on the Fearless and 1989 tours, I had the fucking 1989 haircut. I was supposed to go to Loverfest.

I was still a HUGE Swiftie during the post 1989-pre Reputation eras, then the Reputation era. I'm a few years younger than her, but I felt like I could relate to the kind of manic panic that she was sharing with us (lol turns out I was just unmedicated and we're doing much better now). It felt (in my probably naive mind) like she was experiencing the same insecurities that I was and reacting accordingly. Was she playing the victim at times? Oh 100% BUT I also fully believe that she thought she was one. (Plus... Kim is my least favorite Kardashian lol)

I LOVED the Lover era even as it was shit on at the for the sunshine rainbow hyper colorful aesthetic. Like, I don't know if new fans realize but when Lover was released? It was NOT as beloved as it is now. Then Folklore and Evermore were absolute genius, it felt like Taylor had grown up, and she got all of these new fans, which was great! She was in an "adult" relationship and her music and publicity choices seemed to reflect that. It was so refreshing to see a celebrity keeping their personal life, personal, and sharing what they wanted to share through music. Midnights broke all kinds of records, again, amazing! Even if it wasn't as strong as say Folklore. I fought for my life and got Eras Tour tickets (opening weekend!!) I had the BEST TIME EVER.

Taylor has always been extremely calculated with her public image. She was over exposed during The 1989 era and the public turned on her, so I truly cannot figure out why she is doing it again 100x in this new era of whatever the fuck this is. I don't know her, maybe she is legitimately happy, or maybe this is a cry for help. But I have been so grossed out by her behavior lately, and how in your face everything is with Kelce. It's no secret that I hate Kelce (and people that know me IRL know that it's not a new Taylor related thing lol) and if she actually loves him, fine, that's great for her, BUT we don't need to see it! Yes she was public when she was dating Calvin but ALSO she was what 25-26? She's a 34 year old woman now with the biggest platform of any celebrity ever. She feels too old (and this is not me age shaming her because I would be grossed out if my friends were doing it, and I would be embarrassed if *I* were to ever do it) to be licking a man's face in public like this. This feels like sorority girl in her first college relationship (I was *in* a sorority for a hot second so this isn't hate on sorority girls either!) and not record breaking Grammy award winning artist. ALSO I feel like she used to come across as so articulate and well spoken? Controversial opinion but I thought she sounded like a fucking idiot in that Time Person of the Year piece.

I think that this whole thing is PR for something, but because it just feels too icky to be real, but I don't know what it's PR for, (trying to bury the Matty situation from May? Because if so that just makes me even more sad for him or trying to get back at Joe? Which if that's the case, I feel bad for him too and she's even more immature than I thought) and now, for the first time, AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS I'm embarrassed to be a fan of her, both because of her own actions and also the actions of her fanbase as a whole.

It feels really weird, and I know I'm being parasocial about it, but when the times got bad I always had her music to fall back on and now I just, I don't know it feels cheapened somehow because the current image that's being crafted doesn't match the one that we originally fell for. And you know what, people change, she's a celebrity, I don't know her, what she does DOES NOT affect me any way, and how I feel does not AFFECT HER in the slightest, and I know it's being parasocial but I feel like a big part of me is in mourning about it. Less because of her changing her image so drastically, and more so because I feel like I'm mourning the loss of childhood and joy that used to be associated with her music for me and I think that's what's making me the most sad.

I have Eras tour tickets for one of the London dates this summer. I'm probably going to still go, because I paid for them, and I also have tickets to see Noah Kahan that same week in London (... and also the Longines tour has ALSO decided that the London stop is that week...) But I don't consider myself a "big fan" anymore. Maybe I will be one day again, but this current image that she's putting out just isn't it for me.

Sorry for the longest Taylor related novel in existence, I have had a lot of bottled up feelings about this that feel ridiculous typing out and sharing out loud BUT I know I will feel better sending them into the interwebs and your ask was the perfect catalyst.

Thank you so much for sending this in and for your continued support! I hope you continue to enjoy my fics and my secret sports hot takes 😂

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #keep it kind #i am so sorry this got so long #i just started word vomiting and couldnt stop #then i started crying thinking about my mom #and yeah anyway i am 100% sober just dramatic lol #dont worry i will still be working on you know where the city is #Fictional!2014/2015 taylor has not made me sad lol #and i know it doesnt matter or actually impact me and its super parasocial and probably not healthy that im sad about all of this #BUT i love projecting my feelings and shit onto other things #and why deal with the ~other trauma~ in my life #when i could just... be bummed out about taylor swift turning into a trashy hoe instead of the poet we thought she was #BUT IN IMPORTANT AND EXCITING NEWS #the way i am so hype for this beyonce country album #im not even a beyonce stan #i dont even know if i would go as far as saying im a casual fan #but 16 carriages is so good #and im so excited to see what the rest of the album has in store #also please be nice to me im being vulnerable on the internet #because i am too stubborn to be vulnerable in real life #... there is a 75% chance i am going to panic delete this later but oh well here it is

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a2zillustration · 6 months

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Croissant makes a good point tbh

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#we finally made it to act 2!!!#irl I'm almost done with it so there's a small look into how far the backlog goes lol #by the time this actually posts I'll be up to my elbows in act 3 I'm sure #act ii spoilers #there you go! new important tag!#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #croissant adventures #tav #gale #elminster #I'm so excited for my act 2 comics I have a special treat that hopefully you'll like but even if you don't it's fine because it was just-#- for me anyway #SCREAMING I JUST NOTICED I FORGOT GALE'S SCAR \AGAIN GJFKDLSNHLDFKJHN GOSH DANG IT #comics #gale dekarios #breadweave

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canyouseeher · 4 months

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The interviewees of Very Important People are absolutely delightful, I love getting to see these absolutely phenomenal improvers in their element, but I ESPECIALLY love getting new Vic the interviewer lore.

#naankhatai #THEIR GUEST HOUSE IS BEING USED BY AN ALIEN #WITHOUT THEIR KNOWLEDGE #THEY REGULARLY CRY IN THEIR ROOM #THEIR GRANDFATHER BROKE UP WITH HIS SECOND WIFE AFTER HIS GRANDCHILD TOLD HIM HIS WIFE WAS STEALING HIS BITCOIN #AND AFTER SHE LEFT HIM AND HIS GRANDCHILD ALONE FOR FOUR DAYS #I haven’t finished the episode but gods it’s so funny #Vic is also just soooo good #I was so excited when I heard they were hosting the new show #AND THEYVE LIVED UP TO EVERY EXPECTATION #THEYRE SO FUNNY #I LOVE VIC SO MUCH #very important people #dropout #vic michaelis #Vic the interviewer

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friendrat · 2 months

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On April 10th!

#ibdun's beard and van helsing's eyebrows!#i wasn't expecting that #eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!#im so excited #!!!#kaito kid #magic kaito #kid the phantom thief #i wonder if this has anything to do with the movie?#because the voice actor said that we are going to see a new side of kid #so maybe this update will have important developments that will tie into what we see in the movie #i am so psyched #i actually have questioned whether or not mk would ever get a proper conclusion and this gives me hope #it's gonna be so great!#a kid focused movie and a manga update in the same month?!#i know i know... i have to wait for the translation... but that's still so exciting!!!

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marmastry · 4 months

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do you have any tips for an artist that wants to draw comics?

I honestly still dont see myself as a comic artist, anon, but what i do know is that the hardest part is starting one.

When you're new to it, you gotta learn how to make it easier for yourself because if you're aim is to make a fully colored 20+ pages comic, you will burn yourself out before you finish a single page.

Dont put too much expectations on yourself. Let it be your aim to finish it rather than perfect it. Once you finish it, don't dwell too much into it. Don't let engagements be the measure of its value. The best part of finishing something is looking back on them and learning what you can do better next time.

When you're new, you're also building your stamina in the process and when you understand how much you can do in a certain time, you will learn how to pace yourself better. For ex. In my earlier comics, like my abandoned zelda AU, i didn't really put much thought in the specs and dimension of my comics. I didnt even draw it well lol. I limit working on every entry under 2 to 4 days and that includes the writing. I spent less time on it and it shows! Compare that to my splatoon comics, they're more organized and put together in comparison. This is because I saw what I can do before, I learned what I can do better and it made me put more time into them. I don't really wanna rush myself as much as possible because i dont really earn from this rn lol but most of my entries lately takes 1 month to draw with drafts Ive written 3 months earlier. I work very slow but more robust than before because of all the stamina I accumulated with other finished work :)

I hope this helps at least haha

#i think being excited with your ideas is important too #it's literally your motivation #but that feeling will not always be there once u start working.#most of the time you'll be questioning why ur doing this and lose steam #this is why i think building a stamina for something new is important #building that grit to finish a work is important!#so far working on comics made me appreciate my art more #because everything i reread them I get so proud that I finished them and it's entertaining me now as well #but yeah #i think it will be worth it if you can start first #good luck OP!

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ryonello · 4 months

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a shrimp fried this rice :3

#my art #shrimp #shrimp chef !!#hehe #grindin out new original stickers for more variety next year #love this lil guy sm #have also been spendin the last few days grindin out building my new store!!!#looks like exporting n importing everything is too complicated so i have to manually rebuild every listing HGFHFDJGKHFD #this is gonna take me a while ....#BUT IM AIMING FOR EARLY JANUARY !!#scared but excited . its gonna be a big investment but hopefully the qol changes mean more ppl can order!!#excited for the auto discounting so i can bundle cleaner hehe #AND FREE SHIPPING THRESHOLDS 🙏🙏🙏#aNd more listings !! individual listings for everything !!! excited #gonna put all the apex stickers that got taken down off rb up on my own store now that i can print em myself 🙏#and MAILING LISTS !! STORE HOSTED BLOG POSTS !! manifesting a poggers 2024 ok #HOPE YALLRE WELL <3

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love4hobi · 1 year

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It feels like a dream, to be honest. It’s been two days. Yesterday, I couldn’t believe that it actually happened. It didn’t feel real at all. But when I woke up this morning, my body ached all over. That’s when I realized that I really gave it my all. I finally started eating again after the performance. I can finally eat now. I couldn’t believe it.

j-hope In The Box (2023)

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rainymoodlet · 5 months

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Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[ First Vacation: Nolan! ]

After their first night in the rental house, Dan decided to wake up extra early to cook some breakfast for Nolan! Lucky guy - I think he’s realizing he wouldn’t mind waking up to a sight like this every day!

Part 3 of 5 🌹

@wastelandwhisperer

#ts4 #ts4 screenshots #ts4 challenge #ts4 bachelor challenge #ts4 gameplay #sim: daniel #;kmik #nolan langford by wastelandwhisperer #||#transitional shots are murder for me bc hours between updates BUT we must show the passage of timeee #how do we like the new look?? i’ve got so much more space for dialogue now!!!#i’m so excited to keep going through these four vacations #dan is certainly opening up much much more!!#nolan slept like the dead omg he wouldn’t even get up for a toilet prompt #they had a great night of talking and bonding 🥺#their romance bar definitely went up!! as did their friendship bar #dan’s romance bar is ofc important in this but #the friendship bar matters too!!#it’s funny which sims have shot up in the romance department but flounder when it comes to friendship #vibrating at high frequencies lets GOOO #ignore that dan is wearing smthn else in the next scene blease

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roseapov · 1 month

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The reason WHY we are granted a choice on how the story's gonna end in 2.1 is based on many factors:

! My spectaculations ! Slight spoilers to HSR Penacony 2.0 Main Story !

As stated in 2.0 by Aventurine near the end of the Main Story, he's gonna make us know the truth and then let us decide

And this choice may be one of the crucial ones to a different ending, as you can probably help either Penacony OR the IPC

The next important decision would be picking between Black Swan and Acheron. Yes, they aren't enemies but we still got some little choices in 2.0, such as 'who do you trust more?' and a person in which we trust may alter the ending

The last choice may be connected to Firefly being a Stellaron Hunter theory, and the part changing the outcomes could be our acceptance of this side of her (if we either resent her or still decide to be close).

If we choose the close option then maybe the Express will get accused of working with the Stellaron Hunters giving spice to the story?

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queernarchy · 4 months

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by the way i can completely tell the pjo tv show is still finding its feet and there are certainly flaws but the fact i can also see the black sails/rick riordan writing quality peaking through this early is blowing my goddamn mind.

the emphasis on themes of violence and foreshadowing the central conflict of hate begetting hate within families? being cast aside and mistreated by your parents and having to choose revenge (luke) or to break the cycle and forge a new path (annabeth)?

medusa paralleling with annabeth but more than that paralleling with luke as a victim trying to recruit percy in a rage against the gods and killing those that stand in her way. echidna showing more love to her children than the gods do to theirs. foreshadowing the complexity of the gods and the different sides of the kronos war with the early introduction of a jaded but good hearted hephaestus contrasted with rage incarnate ares and the cold violence of athena against the tumultuous irresponsible love of poseidon.

yes they’re changing a lot but also thinking about how much this adds to the story and how much i’ve been reconsidering the themes and events of books i’ve read dozens of times over the course of 12 years is mind blowing to me. like this show is killing it and if i don’t get 4 more seasons catch me face down in the ocean

#pjo tv show #pjo #percy jackson #like this is making me INSANE #it has its flaws like yes the lighting sucks yes the pacing is a little wack yes some of the acting is stiff #but also they’re like 5 episodes into the first season with child actors and a whole new team so give us a break??#you can see things SEEDING and that’s what’s fucking important.#they just need a second to find their footing #it’s crazy it’s making me excited to see how they do things and what things they emphasize like i literally never thought this deep #also i hate to say it but having the gods introduced this early really emphasizes the fact that they CHOOSE to not be around their kids #hermes is literally just hanging out at a casino??? boy go say hello to your son.

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reliquiaen · 30 days

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Okay, a few years back I made this graphic to explain the Great Cycle. Now that I've mulled over DD2 for a few days, I'm updating it. Some of the same assumptions as before remain: The Dragonforged fought the dragon, his weapon broke, he tried punching it (lmao), but he did survive without killing the dragon, possibly there was a second Bargain offered in the face of his determination. So you don't have to kill your dragon to survive it. Also still assuming that different classes become different types of drakes because I just like that detail, even though we see nothing to confirm it in DD2 (except maybe for the wyrms in the post-game, I hope that's what those are, just a bit redesigned).

But this time, I'm making some NEW assumptions: A Great Dragon can be manifested directly by the Seneschal's will (I'm guessing this is why our DD2 dragon doesn't have a name, I suspect this dragon was created after Rothais defeated his - he didn't become a dragon OR Seneschal so it had to come from somewhere). The challenge a Seneschal poses to the Arisen can be anything; Savan gave us the opening of the Everfall and unleashed a ton of powerful monsters upon the world; but Pathfinder gave us what the world would look like without a Seneschal to oversee things. My assumption is that the Colossal Dragon that appears out of that final red pillar of light IS the Pathfinder (possibly using his will to force order back upon the world) and when we kill it, our Arisen becomes Seneschal (because Pathfinder says he won't be there to see the new world that's forming). So the challenge can be anything, not just the Everfall. I'm curious what happens to our pawn after that fight, though. And it's a much better Seneschal fight than the one against Savan, sorry Savan.

I'm also assuming that (given we see the Pathfinder rewind time and rewrite the world) the Seneschal can simply will the world into a state of being that suits them. This includes wiping memories of events. Though I like to imagine that our Arisen-turned-Seneschal didn't wipe memories of themselves or of the apocalypse-world. There was an entire plotline going through this game with Rothais and Phaesus where mortals are trying to get rid of the Seneschal and so it makes sense that they need to remember what would happen without the Seneschal's presence.

Anyway, thanks. I'll probably have more thoughts later, but this is the part that gets me most. I like to know how things work so I wanted to sort the Cycle out.

#dragon's dogma #dragon's dogma 2 #dragons dogma #reliviews #the great cycle #personal #i wonder where a ng+ will put me #i really am excited to play ng+#but i need a break to rotisserie chicken what i've got so far #i'll come back to it with a fresh pov after a few weeks i think #there are of course still things i wanna know #what's the deal with the dragonsplague #it's not just a mechanic they added to troll us #but what is its significance #what happens to our pawn after we defeat the colossal dragon #they flat out state we infused them with will of their own #so do they become human after that #or does the plague kill them #and there are always timeline questions #what happens to lamond and this new dragonforged #how long ago were they arisen #what about rothais #he's not even really alive anymore but does he finally get to die #is the brinepocalypse something that HAS to happen periodically #to like clean slate the world #to remind people of the importance of the seneschal and maintain peace for a time afterwards #what happened to religion #there was a maker and faith-church in the first game #where's that now have people just forgotten to worship the seneschal #anyway

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valenthario · 10 months

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girls who are boys who are cowboys who are cowgirls who wear their binder as a top > anyone else

#EVERYONE MEET JIMMY WHO HAS BEEN ROTTING INSIDE MY BRAIN FOR THE PAST MONTH <3333 #i finally made her and im setting him freeee!!!!!!!!#<- aka new legacy coming THIS THURSDAY!#kidding the pack will be broken i havent updated my game yet bc i have no clue about any issues ppl are having with it and i KNOW theres+#gonna be major issues as is with every update #but yah. jimmy. my most important sim my most importnant butch i love you jimmy i LOVE YOU #*jimmy | she/he #simblr #ts4 #ts4 simblr #ts4 cas #show us your sims #gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im so excited you have no idea #shes been in my gallery for the whole month im just. JIMMY DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!!!! JIMMY!!!!!!!!!#*dutton extras

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runawaymarbles · 7 months

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Finally made the switch to a mirrorless camera

...I named her Dracula

#*I* think I'm funny and that's what's important #first person shooter #first new camera in 6 years and first new-new camera in 10 #very exciting #op

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shkika · 7 months

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I'm curious what Sliver's response to witnessing Innocence coming down while she's still trying to escape as "herself". Possibly even bonking into eachother in the bit you already did about Innie's Void-dip.

THIS IS AN INSANE TAKE ACTUALLY

My thing is that the swim feels like a very... individual experience if that makes sense. The void is so vast confusing and a force on it's own it feels impossible. The chances of meeting someone there either feel like next to none or impossible.

Yet.. I mean Sliver does have a knack for breaking the way the world is supposed to work.

An interaction like that feels so rich in possibilities. Though I think Sliver would be so overwhelmed by the idea that she'd finally be talking to another real iterator, she'd crumble about it. And if she were to discover Innie knew Moon too? Sheesh good luck trying to shush her countless questions. Also a good opportunity for her to learn that she's regarded as a legend and an idol. An ideal iterator which uh... that is NOT what she was all about while alive at all. Extremely cool stuff...

Very fun to think about especially when the next Saint comic is about UI meeting Saint. How fun!

#saint relates to how UI feels #but that you will see #when i make it!#ask #anonymous #kiki rambles #sliver of straw #unparalleled innocence #lore rambles #im working on moonie update!#split it in two..#i cant say when ill get it done sadly #due to hand pains #its important i keep the sucker healthy #but im hoping its next week at lEAST #im excited about the next new updates #sincerely hoping you'll like them #after them... asks open :D!!

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puhpandas · 5 months

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Veering Off Course

(2,305 words)

Gregory and his family get a call that Vanessa, whos in a different state for college, has gotten hurt. Gregory calls Evan, and Evan is able to use the things he's learned about himself since meeting Gregory to help his friend with his emotions regarding the situation.

Its early in the morning on a Saturday when Evan gets the call. It woke him up, so all he does is blink groggily and swipe at the screen blindly while propped up on his elbow until his thumb hits 'answer' on his phone. "Hello?"

"Evan." It's Gregory, and the serious tone to just that single word clears up Evan's brain as fast as lightning. He scrambles to prop himself into sitting up and rubs at his eyes with one hand.

"Gregory?" Evan asks, looking at the little icon he set for Gregory's contact of a picture of Evan and him at an amusement park. "Is everything okay?"

It takes a second for Gregory to respond, and it causes the anxiety that had steadily began to bubble inside of him to surge. "Gregory?"

"Sorry." Gregory finally answers. "I-- Uh... can you..." His friend struggles for words, and Evan tries to be as patient as possible as it becomes clearer every second something is wrong. "Can you come over? Like right now?"

Evan flounders for words for a second, but manages to force his mouth to say, "Of course."

"Okay." Gregory replies, and a surge of worry shoots through his chest when Gregory sounds like he might cry. He takes a breath on the other end, then, "Please hurry."

After that, Evan only lingers enough to respond with a short confirmation and goodbye before hanging up the phone. It takes him record time to shoot out of bed, sling on some shoes, and get down the street a few houses to Gregory's own.

His mind had played multiple awful scenarios of what terrible thing could have happened the entire time, but his worry does not ebb when he makes it to the porch and knocks on the door to a teary eyed Gregory.

Evan's immediately herded inside. Freddy has his phone in his hand pressed up against his ear, and he's pacing around the room. Aunt Chica and Aunt Roxy sit in the living room. Bonnie is sat in a dragged-over dining chair by Freddy and frowning.

It's dead silent in the house; even the TV and seemingly endless energy flowing through and causing bustling noise is snuffed out to nothing. Evan watches as everyone sits completely seriously and quiet, hands held in their lap or thrumming against something.

Impatience, is what Evan first thinks of. They're waiting for something. News, maybe? Freddy is on the phone. It's so silent you could hear a pin drop. Or somebody else's phone vibrate.

Evan's dread and anxiety only get worse when Gregory shuts the door behind him and tugs on him a bit. Evan follows without struggle, thousands of words and questions on his tongue when Gregory leads him to one of the unoccupied seats in the living room; a loveseat.

He sits down with him, and Gregory's face is scrunched up in barely restrained worry. Evan watches his friend, who's been an anchor for himself for so long, tremble and hunch in on himself. "Gregory?"

Gregory's eyes dart to him, and Evan leans down, hunching forward with his elbows rested on his thighs like theyre their own personal bubble. Evan's own brows furrow, and he feels the familiar thickness in his throat just at watching his friend be upset.

Evan grabs at his hand, squeezing it tight and lacing their fingers together. "I'm really worried, Gregory... please tell me whats wrong." Evan pleads. "Please?"

Gregory nods unsurely after a moment, and Evan watches him swallow thickly before turning to him fully. "Dad got a call from the University of Oregon today."

Evan's brows raise, but he nods to keep going. The University of Oregon is the college Gregory's sister, Vanessa, had left home to go attend. Evan hasnt gotten the chance to meet her, yet. She's already been gone two years strong, with a seemingly bright future. Evan's heard Gregory and his family talk about her enough to know her talents.

Gregory's breath hitches, and Evan wraps his other hand around Gregory's, the one he already has ahold of. He sandwiches it in-between his own and hopes it's enough comfort.

"Somebody called us and told us Vanessa got into a car crash today. On campus."

It's like a bucket of ice water is poured on Evan's head. His feet go cold, and his eyes widen to saucers. Fear shoots like an arrow through his stomach. When he stops reeling from the news, he watches Gregory begin to shake and lose the carefully gathered composure he'd put up since Evan arrived.

"They said..." Gregory's brows are furrowed so much it looks like it hurts. Theres a clench in his jaw and a wetness to his eyes Evan isnt used to. "They said she's already been taken to the hospital and is in surgery." He frowns, and theres a twist in his lip that Evan is so familiar with. "They... a-all we can do is wait. They told us they'd let us know any updates."

The house is thrown back into such jarring silence after Gregory stops talking that Evan's ears start ringing. Which makes it clear as day when Gregory's breath turns harsh beside him.

Evan tears his eyes away from the floor and ignores the twisting feeling in his chest to look at his friend. He has his face buried in the hand that isnt held by Evan and is shaking in a way where you can tell theyre trying so hard to keep it together. Gregory's angled away from him, but Evan can see the panic on his face even from where he can see.

Evan's breath hitches, and the thickness in his throat begins to turn into burning as he scootches closer to Gregory on the couch and sets a hand on his shoulder. He tugs a bit until Gregory gets the message and let's him wrap his arms around his middle and hold him close.

Gregory makes some sort of horrible, upsetting hitching noise that causes the dam to break for Evan, before he sort of flops against him and brings up his own arms to clutch at his T-Shirt. Gregory's head thumps against his shoulder, and it's one of the only times Evan really becomes aware of the height he has on his friend.

"Its okay..." Evan says into Gregory's shoulder, because it's all he knows to do in the moment. He glances around and sees that Gregory's family has shifted to the dining room, leaving them alone. Evan finally feels the tears slip from his eyes as he presses closer, hugging him like his life depends on it. "Its okay, Gregory. It'll be okay."

"It's--" Gregory says, and Evan can hear how much his voice shakes with barely contained tears. "Its not. I can't-- We can't even go see her. We can't go and wait for her to wake up, or anything... we just have to--" He cuts himself off, and Evan feels Gregory shake harshly against him.

"We just have to sit here." Gregory says, voice thick. "I dont know what to do, Evan. I don't know what to do."

And its only that sentence that causes Evan to grapple at what to do, if his friend can't. And all he can think about is how himself would react if it were Gregory getting hurt.

All he'd be able to do is cry, he realizes. He wouldnt be able to do anything. Just wait and be scared.

But that's what Gregory is getting at, isnt he? He can't do anything. That's the thing. Evan has known Gregory long enough to get him. To know, him. Evan knows that Gregory doesnt sit around and cry like Evan does. He prefers to get up and do something about whatevers wrong.

Hes a problem solver instead of waiting around. A fighter instead of a crier. No wonder hes so bent out of shape about this. To have a loved one in danger, and when you're so used to getting up and making a plan to fix a problem and are forced to sit in standby...

Evan eases them down against the cushion of the couch, not once untangling themselves from eachother. Gregory shakes, but he does not cry. "So what would you do if you could?"

The hair from Gregory's bangs brushes against Gregory's neck as he moves his head. "I'd... I don't know. I'd at least try to get to her." Gregory says, voice unbelievably quiet. "At least get to her. Then figure it out from there. Just so I'm not waiting on phone calls."

Evan nods against him, his chin scrunching up Gregory's hair. His tears have long since stopped falling, but he knows he has dry tracks on his cheeks. "You have a plan."

Gregory makes some sort of noise that would sound like a snort in any other circumstances. "I would if I could." Gregory replies, squeezing his arms a bit tighter. "But I cant" He sighs, shuddering and heavy. "I just have to wait."

Evan hums. "You're worried, and you're stressed." He makes the same noise Gregory just did. "I know how you feel... I really do. Maybe not your exact situation, but... I get what it's like to feel helpless." He says. "You know what I would do?"

Gregory hums this time, questionative. Evan rubs circles into his back. "I'd sit there and wait, and wish for it to different. And when it wouldnt be, I'd cry."

Gregorys head shifts against that crook between Evan's chin and chest, almost like hes trying to look him in the eye but the hug prevents him from being able.

"All I ever did was cry." Evan says when Gregory doesnt respond. "Its the only thing that I could do to cope."

"...So..." Gregory asks, and his voice is thick again. "You mean..."

"You're stressed." Evan answers. "You're stressed and you're worried. So... why dont you let it out?"

Evan, out of anyone, knows how valuable emotions can be. He didnt, once upon a time. When everyone would just tell him how annoying it is. How useless it is. How he's asking for it. How he should have toughened up by now. When instead of comfort, he'd receive ridicule and prodding.

That's changed. Ever since a certain someone entered his life. He doesn't think of his emotions, himself so little anymore. So worthless. So maybe that's why Gregory perks up ever so slightly in understanding.

And that's all it takes.

Gregory's trembling turns into shoulder shaking sobs like the snap of a finger. He cries, open and unadulterated, and Evan just hugs him close and rubs his back, offering reassurances like Gregory has done for him so many times.

His own eyes burn when his best friends sobs are heard so openly and he can feel every shudder of his body. Evan's chin scrunches, and the tears fall right along with Gregory as Evan hugs him close, tucking his face into his hair.

"Im--" Gregory cries. "I-Im just so worried about her."

"I know." Evan responds, his own voice breaking as he pets Gregory's hair. His shirt is damp with tears but he doesnt care. "Itll be okay. It'll all be okay."

They stay like that for a while, and Evan can tell Gregory needs it. He needs it. The worry he felt that morning doesnt ever really leave, and it stays ever-present as Evan watches his friend fall apart. They stay stuck together like magnets, eventually only shoulder to shoulder with linked hands on the loveseat, and none of Gregory's family try to peel them apart when they eventually wander back into the living room.

They stay in a state of constant agonizing limbo all day. At 8:00pm, Freddy calls it a night. Gregory protests immediately, but Aunt Roxy calms him down almost seamlessly and convinces him to go to bed.

Of course, Evan follows him. He cant imagine a world where he doesnt. The air mattress stays deflated in Gregory's closet as it has been most of the time nowadays. All Evan has to do is kick his shoes off since he left home in his pajamas anyway and they're wrapped around eachother, tucked in Gregory's bed under his comforter in the dark.

Gregory is silent all throughout the night, even though Evan knows he's awake. Evan just hopes that... he did the right thing. Something knows is that suppressing how you feel isnt good. It never works. No matter how much you want it to.

Gregory taught him that. He just wants to return the favor. Not because he owes Gregory, no. Gregory has long since hammered it into Evan's thick skull that he has nothing to pay him back for. That his kindness is not a deed to Evan, but rather that Evan himself deserves to be treated kindly.

Gregory does, too. Evan knows this with all his heart. Gregory is his best friend and has done more for him than anyone else ever has.

Evan... all Evan did was change. Change for the better. And hopefully he helped the most important person in his life with the things he learned. The things that person taught him.

He hugs Gregory's middle a little tighter, not daring to break the silence. Gregory needs time, but doesn't want to be alone. Evan understands. He does. He just hopes to convey what he truly feels through the one action.

Thank you. I'm here for you. I'll always be here. You're my best friend. I'm so glad you trust me. I trust you as well. So much.

Gregory himself wraps his arms tighter around Evan in turn, and Evan feels like the single movement lso has a deeper meaning he cant read.

They dont speak. They just lay in silence until eventually they fall asleep, stuck together like two puzzle pieces.

ao3 link

#this oneshot is mostly just to focus more on gregorys character and how i imagine him (not headcanon #his actual canon character) to handle problems.#ive always seen gregory as instead of letting fear/emotions take over #he pushes past to get a task done/fix whatevers wrong. so i wanted to translate that into the flashlight duo universe with the emotional/pr #especially because of how important emotions are to evans growth and how gregory is the reason for that growth #and i also just wanted to finally write a bit of evan helping gregory since ive written so much vice versa.#i needed something for gregory to be super worried over and well. this universe is already family centric. poor vanessa.#its a normal ass world okay theres not much i can do #vanessa is okay btw.#the next day theyre supposed to get news about surgery and recovery and plan to go on a road trip to oregon to see her while she recovers #(i actually already wrote some of it but cut it out because i didnt like where it was going.#just veered (ha) too far away from the core of the fic)#so you can imagine that happening.#anyways hope you enjoyed! still need a better idea to showcase evan helping gregory but i think this is okay for now.#i have some other plans for this duo (as always) having to do with love languages so im excited about that.#lets see how long itll take me to actually write it lol #pandas writes #my fics #flashlight duo #flashlight duo oneshots #gregory #evan #the fazbears #oneshot #kinda feel like this is cringe #but whatever im cringe and im free two cakes etc #not my favorite work ive done but whatever #its okay

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