#BECAUSE I AM REDISCOVERING MY LOVE FOR MUSIC | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smuttyaf · 6 months

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SouthSide Serpent

Word Count: 4.8k

Rating: R

features; childhood friends to lovers, loverboy ashton, literally ashton has been pining for y/n, & sum good old smut :)

a/n: idek what to say but hi! i’ve been in retirement for like 4 years and rediscovered this account. i got nostalgic & decided… shit why not write again?

please cut me sum slack tho! i wrote this on my notes app & it’s been years since i’ve written so i would love to hear feedback!

& yes i am hella descriptive and like to build suspense! i can’t help it >.<

also! y/n is heavily based on serena from mtv downtown ( i love her ) & this picture of ashton ( xx )

The crisp October breeze blew through your hair as the dull taste of your cigarette burns on your tongue; your forefinger and middle finger clenching the nicotine filled paper and pressing it against your lips, drawing in the vapour.

Your head nods along to the music playing before you just two doors down on the opposite side of your street. There was Ashton and his band, either playing covers of their current favourite songs, oldies, or new ones that they’ve all come together and created.

The usual guitar flow and drum beat of Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs blasted through the speakers in the garage as the sound of Luke’s voice sang along on top of the tune.

You hum along to the lyrics as you glared in the direction, your lips peeling away from the filter and letting the smoke settle in your lungs before releasing it. The four boys were all dressed in their usual attire: white shirt, black trousers, beat up old chunky Doc Martins, and their signature SouthSide Serpents leather jackets.

As the wind picks up again you let your free hand tear away from your windowsill and tug the flying strays of your hair in front of your face behind your ear, the chipped black polish on your almond nails coming into view as you remind yourself you needed to get them done.

The bridge of the song is now blaring down the street, causing you to raise your cigarette back to your lips and think to yourself, what a coincidence this song is playing; the lyrics, the time frame, and the memories that all come flowing back as you hear the familiar melody.

It was 2009 and Ashton had invited you over during Christmas break to play Garage Band since Santa gifted it to him because that was the only thing he asked for on his wish list. You were both 8, banging on the drums and singing songs that you both were too young to know or remember from when your parents would play them on the drive home from school. But, for some reason this is the song that stuck with you both the most. Maybe it was the easy lyrics or the amazing beat but from then on it had you hooked to this alternative sound.

Now fast forward to a year ago, your now ex boyfriend Xavier was laying on your bed, finger pads heavy weight on your skin as he drew sloppy hearts on your hip. The wire of the headphones tangled between your shoulder and his wrist as you both listened to his playlist. The familiar intro notes to the song beginning to ring throughout the buds and the tug of your maroon lined lips turn into a smile.

“Already like the song?” He asked, brown eyes rested on top of dark circles scattered with freckles as he smirked down at you.

“I love it.” You sheepishly said.

The wind knocks you back into reality as it pushes through your window again, only making you remember how much you loved October; the weather changing, leaves blooming, smell of the rain just before it hit the concrete, the sound of the leaves dragging along the pavement, and the endless horror movie marathons that would run on AMC.

The orange, brown, and green leaves spin in the breeze and rustle along the branches as the sun stood brightly among the houses along the horizon. From your view on the windowsill you can see houses upon houses before you see the local water tower and old plazas that scream they need new merchant signs and fresh cement.

Your eyes flick to the lonesome string popping out of your black long sleeve before the sound of your phone’s text tone goes off, your eyes darting to the message running across the screen.

Stop watching me

Ashton’s text read, making you roll your eyes before placing them on the dark hair boy who had a goofy grin on his face from your view, his drum sticks were stuffed in one had and the other held his lit up phone.

With a smile on yours, you let the hand that rested in the crook of your neck tear away from the warm flesh and your middle finger stand in the air as a response.

Clothes were thrown in every direction of your room as you let your eyes drag along your frame in the mirror, your loose knitted black sweater hung off one of your shoulders as low waisted charcoal jogging pants rested on your hips. Your hair was in its loose waves as your curtain bangs swept against your temples, your fingers curling into themselves in frustration as you tried to not stress over how you look.

You didn’t want to over enhance your appearance to see Xavier since he wanted to meet up to get “closure” -even though he was the one who called it off despite your many pleas- but you wanted to make him feel bad for even deciding to drop you.

A frustrated sigh left your wine stained lips before turning around and sticking your feet into your ruined Converse. The low muffled sound of Xavier’s Prelude is heard out your window and you feel your heart drop.

You never understood why you always felt this way about him and why you couldn’t just get over this stupid boy who likes to break up with you every other month, a new reason every single time. The constant tears, text threads, and blocking to unblocking seemed to never get exhausting to you because you were always back in the same place, wondering if you overdressed to see your ex for closure.

The chime of Xavier’s specific text tone rings through your room and you already know what it says, so without checking you twisted your foot into your shoe to fit perfectly before you reach over and grasp your phone in your hand and tug your way to the window sill. Fingers pressing the frame up and letting the fall air sweep into your room before crouching down and fitting yourself through the frame and safely scale down the roof, onto the sturdy vine wall filled with dead clematis that prickled on your palms the way down before your feet landed on the short cut grass.

As you turned away from the wall and begin tugging your feet towards the black coupe, your eyes catch on the tall frame standing on their front step as an amber light glows slightly illuminating his face. You already know this is Ashton, so with a slight smile you let your index finger rest against your coated lips, a gesture to him to be quiet.

The only response he gives is his head nodding off to the side with smoke trailing out of his mouth.

The smile quickly falls as your fingers clench the car door handle and tug it open, the smell of him crashing down on you as you sit in the familiar leather, the hum of the engine vibrating under you as the car peels off.

The tinge of tequila burned on your buds as you felt the room spinning, the sound of chatter and shouts are heard from below you as the bass of Destroy Lonely’s song can be heard in the room you barged into when you gave up on waiting for Tabitha; who said she wouldn’t be long with the curly haired new kid in her history class.

Red solo cup was loosely clenched in your right hand as left was lazily running through your hair at random moments as you laid against the cottage floral bed sheets.

Here you were, back in the same spot you always found yourself in: drunk, heartbroken, and thinking about a boy who doesn’t even care about you. The constant routine of wanting him, then wanting to be far away but craving him every other second burned into your heart. The comfort and familiarity of him that you missed always overlooked every excuse he gave you whenever he broke things off.

Last month he said he needed time to himself, this month he told you that he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted; frankly he lost feelings for you, at least that was what he says now. Those words kept on replaying in your mind as if that was your favourite song. The way he sounded emotionless yet unsure that, that was what he really wanted.

And just with those thoughts, tears were flowing down your temples. Eyes blurring as the voice replayed in your head, the memory of him sitting beside you and saying that, to then recollect memories of how sweet and endearing the boy you loved in the beginning grew cold to your touch and looked into your hopeful eyes with detached ones.

The popcorn ceiling was fuzzy in your sight as the tears spill over your waterline and beads down the sides of your face. You already knew your cheeks were heated up, the liner and eyeshadow that was occupying your bottom lashes was smudged and probably slipping away with the liquid as a sniffle wrinkled through your nose.

God you hated this; the empty feeling of missing someone who you know you shouldn’t want but yet crave so badly. Why him? Why you?

As you were deep in thought you hear the rustle of the door knob before it turns and the music that pours from outside reaches into the empty depths of the room, the sound of footsteps halting and a sharp intake of breath being heard, but you don’t dare look away at the ceiling. Frankly, you could care less about who sees you crying your eyes out on this outdated duvet with ruined make up.

“Fuck my bad!… Wait Y/N?” The recognizable voice of your childhood friend is heard before the door is closing shut.

The weight of him sinks next to you on the bed as you let your eyes close and the final stream of tears leave your eyes.

“I look desperate don’t I.” You state, voice raspy from the strain in your throat as the usual feeling of a ball is formed.

“I think you look sad,” He points out, making you snort as the hand that was lazily playing in your hair tears away and feels the sheet below you.

“No shit,” You mumble before letting your eyes peel open.

“You and Xavier broke up again?” Ashton questions, the sound of his zippers clashing from his jacket as he shuffles around.

You only hum in response before you let both of your arms sit you up on the bed, your back standing straight as your hands cradle the solo cup. Your eyes stare down at your ruined pantyhose beneath your mini lace black skirt before they flicker to look at the hazel boy.

Eyes connecting with yours, you hear his breath hitch as he draws in your appearance. Cheeks with a glow of cherry red sweeping the bones under your eyes that are damp with black eyeshadow, your eyes were still puffy and red rimmed as they batted slowly up at him.

“He doesn’t know what he wants,” You let out, your eyes rolling before letting your plum coloured lips take a sip of the warm mixture of Pepsi and tequila.

“Oh?” He says in confusion, bushy eyebrows coming together trying to figure out how that could be since he saw you two together three nights ago.

“I’m so sick of being with these screwed up guys all the time,” You state, hand tearing away from the cup to dig your nails into the rips of your stockings.

“Really?”

“I have such crummy luck or taste? What is it with girls like me? All a guy has to say is, he can’t express his feelings or he listens to Deftones and it’s like my head tips right over and my brain start to slip out of my ear.”

Ashton lets out laugh, the beer bottle he’s holding by the neck resting on his knee as he stares down at you. “So which one is Xavier?”

“Both,” You scoff while sticking out your tongue in disgust.

“You know… if you wanted to, I’m sure you could have a different great guy to go out with every night,” Ashton assures, a smirk tugging on your lips as you decide to ignore the glint of promise in his eyes.

“No way, I’ve always been a mess. Remember Cleo?” Your second boyfriend that seemed to be stuck on your hip but ironically found someway to cheat on you every weekend yet you still dumbly went back to him every. single. time.

The feeling of your sheer button up rubs against your arm as you let your hand fall against your hip and feel your black crop top tight to your skin.

“Maybe you just need to talk to someone who isn’t your usual type,” Ashton points out. Your head nods a few beats as your thick wedged heeled boots run over the wooden flooring.

“Maybe I’ll be luckier if I tried dating someone nice for a change,” Voice hopeful as your eyes dart away from the bubbly dark liquid into Ashton’s brown hues.

“Nice guys,” Ashton says with a smile, both of his hands tearing away from his knees as if to gesture to himself in this equation.

A laugh escapes your lips before your eyes run over Ashton’s frame from head to toe.

“What are you getting at Irwin?” You say with a pointed brow, playing stupid to the implication.

“Oh nothing..” He sings while tearing his eyes from yours, toothy smile still spread on his lips before he takes a swing of his beer.

You shake your head with annoyance before your hazy eyes look down at your lap, your hands resting on the cup and drumming a random tune.

“Honestly Y/N… I think you’re a really great girl and…. I just think maybe…” His words a scrambled mess and trailing off. You smile to yourself before turning to look back at him.

“Mm?” You question, the fifteen percent liquor coursing through your bloodstream and giving you confidence as you lean into this chest, eyes never tearing away from his. Because if Ashton was going to give you hopeful eyes and stuttering speeches you might as well put the ‘nice guy’ to the test and see if he was really about what he said.

That only made his lips break into a smirk, his tongue sneakily gladding along his bottom lip to wet it before looking into you daringly.

That only made you squish your plucked eyebrows together in question. How did the stuttering boy from just a view seconds ago all of a sudden turn cocky and confident? How many drinks did he have? Or was it the weed that clung to his jacket that gave him the boost.

“I think you should give me a chance,” He nips back, and before you can even respond to him, you watch his neck crane down and press his lips against yours.

The crisp taste of his beer stung your lips as they opened and immediately danced along with his tongue. White liquor and brown meeting together to taste each other and leave an acquired flavour in your mouths.

You hummed along to the feeling of his tongue circling against yours before peeling away and molding your lips to sink against each other. Your heart was beating through your chest, nails now digging into your plastic cup and head ducked back as you continue to press your mouth against his.

The feeling of his cold hand pressing against your neck caused you to shudder and tear away from his lips for a second, your eyes peeling open as they look in front of you. Black hair loosely falling on his forehead, the smell of his husky cologne clogging your senses, and the feeling of his fingers now dancing along the back of your neck.

“What are we doing Ash?” You breathe against his lips.

“Something that I’ve always wanted to do,” He says, making your heart launch. You bite down on your bruised lip and tear your eyes away from his, your stomach twist as you try and gain some self control as you almost fling yourself on top of him.

Something that he always wanted to do? You never really found yourself desirable to the point we’re men would see you in that type of light? But maybe what Ash said was just a simple lie, just so he can get what he wants and frankly you don’t even care. You’ve heard lies your whole entire life when it came to boys and this wasn’t any different, maybe you should just let your mind shut off from your stupid ex and just be in the moment for once.

So with that final thought, not having a care in the world, you drop the red cup in your hand and let your lips launch back onto his. Ashton follows your movements and the sound of the nearly empty beer bottle drops onto the hard wood, his right hand now resting along your neck as you both kiss each other.

Warm breaths, beating hearts and the sound of music is the only thing heard in the room as you lick into each others mouths. Soon you feel the weight of Ashton nudging you to lay back on the bed as he lies on top, you feel the cold zippers from his jacket press against your skin and all you can do is moan.

The feeling of his left hand tears away from the hairs on the nape of your neck and dance down your collar bone before letting it cup your breast in his hand, kneading the soft tissue which only makes another moan slip through you.

He pulls away from your lips and begins to suck and press kisses along your pulse, your hands that lie by your side now running up the sleeves of his jacket and into his hair.

A whimper spills out as you feel his hand tug your tank down and free your naked breast, he engulfs it in his cold palm making you let a shaky breath escape before you’re curling your fingers in his hair, the feeling of him twisting your nipple makes you bite down on your bottom lip. The pleasurable pain you feel running up your spine making your shoulders slightly buck off the bed.

“Hmm…” Ashton hums in your neck before tearing away, his eyes once such a light brown and green hue, now a chestnut and forest green colour filled with lust.

Your fingers tug away from his hair as he now descends down your body, his warm lips pressing kisses to your exposed skin as you let your hands tear your blouse and tank off. Your eyes never leaving his as he watches you undress. His lips now press against your pieced belly button as his fingers tear away from your chest and roughly takes your skirt by the band and peels it down your hips, your stockings following soon after.

Not wasting a moment he lets his mouth press against you covered core, lips pressing small kisses against your heat making you quietly moan. You wanted so desperately to tug Ashton into you and make him start devouring you right there but instead you let your hands trail back into his hair and play around with his locks.

Small kisses soon turn into open mouth licks, his wet muscle running up and down your clothed slit that it had your head digging back into the sheets, your legs spreading wider and whimpers endlessly trailing out.

“Ash.. please..” The words slip out so quiet that you assume he didn’t hear from the pulsing music below you, but instead your met with the feeling of his finger pulling your panties to the side and his tongue finally meeting you were you desired.

It circles around your clit gently before you feel his lips suck it into his mouth, a moan drawls from your throat due to the sensation. Soon enough, he’s letting his mouth discover the way you taste which only elects a moan from him. His tongue now dipping in between your two lips and curling around your insides.

“Oh my,” You moan as your fingers dig into his hair, eyes closing shut as you begin to slowly move your hips to the movement of his tongue.

The feeling of his right hand breaks away from your thigh and flows to your hips, his nails leaving small indents as you feel his other hand move away from your panty and rub against your clit.

The feeling of him humming against you sends a vibrating pleasure down your back as he continues to lick you, this only made your toes curl and your hands to fall out of his hair and onto his leather shoulders.

“Fuck,” You moan, your hands tugging him gently away from you as you feel your climax about to overcome your nerves.

And just as you feel it on the tip of your toes, the mouth between your legs pulls away beginning to press wet kisses up your thigh, his hand that once laid against your heat now meeting with the other at your hips.

A groan leaves you as your eyes tear open and look down at him. He mischievously looks up at you, his kisses now run up your stomach once again to lead to your neck.

“Upset?” He teases, only making you shudder at the rasp in his voice.

“I want you Ash,” You say breathlessly, turning your head to knock his out the way and look him in the eyes. “Please,” You utter, fingers now leaving his shoulders and brushing against his rip cage covered by his white tee.

Without any hesitation, Ashton is pulling away from your embrace and leaning back. He shrugs off his jacket, tugs his shirt over his head, his fingers going to the back of his baggy jeans to pull out his wallet to dig through before you see a gold package flash. If your cheeks could burn any brighter they differently would.

The mixture of his clothes and yours are strung through out the room, both of your shoes kicked to the bottom of the bed as he now shuffles his way back up to his original position.

Without question your hand meets the band of his boxers as you begin to inch them down his waist, wanting to return the favour.

“I think that can wait love, I rather be in you right now,” He breathes against your neck, only making your heart stutter. A sheepish smile tugs at your lips as you feel him twist around and lay on his side, his hands laying on your hips, turning you into the same position.

Your head rested on his arm as your back laid against his chest, hips aligned with each other as the feeling of his smell overcomes you. His knees prop up your legs as you hear the tearing of the condom package.

Deciding to distract yourself you let your eyes fall looking at Ashton. His black hair a tossed mess from your fingers, hazel eyes drawn to wear you both meet as he begins to run his member against your heat.

A whimper leaves your lips as you close your eyes when you feel him push inside, his hand now propping up your thigh as he eases into you.

He nudges your head forward and begins sucking kisses down the expanse of your neck, the feeling of his heart beating against your back and the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne was filling your nose.

“Feels so good,” He mumbles against your skin, his arm that rested under your head turning slightly as he runs his hand against your wrist and takes your fingers into his, lacing them together as you continue to feel him stretch you out.

You never expected Ashton to have a thick piece but you also didn’t expect to be in this exact position right now, literally. Your childhood friend having his way with you while you were both drunk off each other and the alcohol in your systems.

His hips meet your backside before drawing back and pushing back in, your walls expanding with each thrust as you feel him begin a good pace. Moans begin to fall from your mouth, your eyes fluttering open every few seconds as your skin burns from the bruises soon to appear on your pulse from the black haired man beside you, skin still stuck to his lips.

“You’re moans are so pretty,” He breathes against you, his hand that was holding up your thigh runs up your hips to your chest, letting your leg fall as he takes one of your breasts and squeezes it gently.

All you can do is hum at his words because you’re too overstimulated to speak. The feeling of his thickness drawing in and out of you so heavily has you nodding off at the sensation, his fingers intertwined with yours beings to squeeze them together as the hand that was on your breast meets with his head at your neck.

“You like me fucking you,” He says into your ear as his hand squeezes your throat gently.

You nod your head as you feel your eyes slip close, and you were completely wrecked. He was so dirty yet gentle with you, peppering you with kisses yet digging into you so devilishly that it had your mind distraught.

“You like the way I feel inside you,” He continues, his hand growing more tight around your throat.

“Ash…” You say breathlessly, as your hand that rested against the bed sheets rises up and places it against the one making you breathless but encouraging your climax.

“Mm I like the way you feel around me,” He eggs on, and that makes you cry out, your back pushing pack and meeting his hips.

The feeling of your stomach twitching and legs quivering to close makes your head tip back even more against Ashton as you feel your orgasm on the brink.

That has him taking his hand away from your throat and slips it to lift your thigh back up as he continues to thrust into you, his lips press more kisses against your neck.

Your toes curl as the knot in your stomach expands and releases, the satisfying sensation washing over you as you let a deep breath break through your lips with a moan.

“Fuck,” Ashton hisses as he feels you twitch around him, the contractions from your high throwing him into his; his hips stutter before rocking back into you slowly, teeth gently digging into your skin, his breath being blown over the expanse of it.

The thickness of him slips out which causes your eyes to open, his hand dropping your thigh to wrap around your hips as his head buries into your neck.

The room is quiet for a moment as the only thing that can be heard is your hearts calming down and the chatter from down below.

“I would give you more kisses but I’ve made a mess on your neck,” His voice vibrates against you, that only makes you let out a broken laugh.

“I don’t even wanna know what it looks like,” You reply, your hand that rested on the duvet linking with his that rest along your stomach.

This felt nice, the amazing sex and cuddling session after. The room just being quiet and the only thing that can be heard is your breaths and beating hearts. This was so spontaneous that you still can’t even wrap your mind around what happened.

“How would you feel about doing this more often?” Ashton says after a few minutes, his chest moving as he pulls his head away from your neck to lie back against the pillows.

Having casual sex with him? You ponder on the idea. It was definitely one of the best you have ever had, he felt amazing and checked off every box when it came to how to please you. You couldn’t even lie and say that you didn’t find Ash attractive, you are also now officially single, free to due what we you wanted, so fuck it.

“Like… Friends with benefits?” You say, your thumb running against his hand still linked with yours by your head.

“Yeah, friends with benefits,” He confirms.

You let your head swish from side to side as you feel the burning sensation of his love bites strain against your neck as you let out a sarcastic hum to yourself as if you’re thinking it over.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

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xenisstrange · 3 months

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i don't think anyone outside of this fandom will ever understand what this game has done for me

i was eleven years old lying in my bed with my ipad mini and a pair of earbuds. it was around midnight, way past my bedtime at that age.

i scrolled through my youtube home page and came across a video titled something along the lines of "I CAN TIME TRAVEL???" and started watching.

the gameplay opened with the scene of a girl staring at a massive tornado. and then she woke up in photography class. and then she figured out she could rewind time.

and i was hooked.

then came the bathroom scene. the moment nathan shot chloe, i exited youtube. i was too shocked and stunned to continue. so i put my ipad away and tried to go to bed.

that lasted for less than five minutes.

too curious as to what would happen next, i grabbed my ipad and found the video again.

once i was past the initial shock of what had happened, i found myself falling in love with the art style. i fell in love with the music. i fell in love with the concept, the characters, the universe.

i remember thinking chloe was so cool. i remember wishing i could have a clothing style just like hers.

i remember wishing i had a place like the junkyard where i could escape to.

and i remember relating to max. she's artistic and shy. just like i was.

just like i am.

and then i finished watching episode one. i had to wait two months to see what would happen in episode two. and whenever a new episode did come out, it was always the first thing i watched when i came home from school.

it was like i saw myself in the characters.

kate's rooftop scene broke me. and in coming years, i would relate to her depression far more than i ever realized i would at eleven years old.

chloe's anger stunned me. i didn't realize why i felt so connected to the intensity of it then, but knowing what i was to experience in my teenage years, it now makes sense.

max's sensitivity made me feel so seen. and she was just as creative as i wished to be. i bought an analog camera when i was fifteen just because i wanted to take polaroids like her.

i wanted to be in the world of life is strange. i wanted to experience true friendship (and more) like what max and chloe had because up until then, i felt so alone.

this game made me feel understood. this game made me feel like i could make my life an adventure. this game gave me hope for the future.

i finally played the game myself when i was thirteen. it was the second game ever in my steam account.

but throughout high school, i forgot about the game for a bit, only getting re-obsessed for a short while when before the storm came out. i finally played life is strange 2 in the summer of 2020, when i rediscovered life is strange during covid lockdown. and then came true colors. i played that one the day it got released.

even though the new games are amazing, and the characters' relatability is just as strong, the original life is strange will forever hold a special place in my heart. in a way, it formed who i am as a person today. just ask anyone who was in my life when i started saying "hella" in every sentence.

a few days after i turned eighteen, i realized "i am the age of the characters in life is strange."

and that was crazy to me.

i had grown up with these characters, wondering if my life would ever be as interesting or as venturesome as theirs. and now i was the same age as them.

and then i became older than them. and my life has most definitely not been the adventure i'd hoped for.

but i've come to accept this, as max and chloe are video game characters, and i live in the real world.

but that's why i hold the first life is strange game in such a special place in my heart. these characters were there for me when real people weren't.

this game taught me the difference in morals and beliefs, because what one person thinks is wrong might be right to someone else. this game taught me to be kind to others, to show compassion and empathy, because you never know what someone is going through.

this game taught me not to be afraid to love.

because if i were to be chloe, then someday my max would make a return.

#life is strange #lis #max caulfield #chloe price #life is strange before the storm #life is strange true colors #max and chloe #sorry this is so long #i just have a lot of feelings ok #i love life is strange sm

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tlonista · 4 months

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Astarion fic recs, Batch 2

Thanks so much to everyone who had kind words for my Astarion fic rec list! My habit continues unabated so I wanted to throw out another little batch of mostly recent, mostly hurt/comfort-oriented Astarion-centric fanfic that I liked. As before there's references to Astarion's past abuse and assault so mind the AO3 tags.

Anyway happy holidays fellow pale elf fans, pls tip me off if you watched the latest Larian animated short and felt moved to write about shivering blanket-wrapped Astarion sitting on Karlach's lap.

Incomplete Multi-Chapter:

The Friends We Meet in the Dark by Copaline

Astarion is captured by monster hunters while spiraling over how to earn Tav's affections. Second in a series, but can be read standalone; one of two chapters posted. Big fan of its protective f!Tav, and there's some fun banter with the rest of the gang.

I Don't Know You Yet by thbreakofdawn

Nicely executed modern Bloodweave social media (text messages and Twitter) AU. Astarion is a sex worker and Gale is a grad student struggling with his relationship to his girlfriend Mystra, and they strike up a text-only friendship after a random connection. Very effective use of the multimedia format.

If the Cross on the Door Doesn't Scare You by Aylwyyn228

Sweet, angsty "Astarion starves in the Shadow-Cursed Lands because he's too scared to ask for blood" fic with the added turn of Gale guessing exactly what's happening, but being too toxic-blooded to actually help unless Astarion tells the others about his vampirism.

a half-blown rose by winter_writes

Astarion's "Tav didn't kill Cazador" dialogue in the Patch 5 Epilogue is one of the saddest things in the game, and I'm so excited to see writers running with it. In this fic Astarion was recaptured by Cazador post-game and then finally freed thanks to a fire... but he's terribly injured in the aftermath and ashamed to have his ex-lover see him. Only one chapter so far but I'm a big fan.

death by rock & roll by falco_c

This hasn't been updated in a while and Astarion hasn't actually appeared in it yet, but I'm throwing it in as a bonus because I really love its Almost Famous-y music industry AU vibe. Its translation of the tadpole ensemble into rock-and-roll burnouts, featuring in-world interviews, is absolutely delightful.

One-Shots:

Untitled by trulycertain (Tumblr-only)

It's spawn Astarion realizing he can turn into a bat and flying around and getting tired with Tav around, that's it, that's the fic. Completely adorable fluff. But "Is this what it’s meant to be like? Being a spawn? Not a starved slave?" kills me.

Family by sword_and_lance

Astarion goes to see his family after being turned, and Cazador cements his control over Astarion by offering him some scraps of comfort in the painful aftermath. It's short and restrained and chilling and so so sad.

Pointy Ears by SpaceBarbarianWeird

Yes another fluffy fic, what am I coming to. But who doesn't want to read about Astarion rediscovering trust by letting Tav touch his sensitive pointy ears with some brief digressions into elven social norms and gift-giving.

Complete Multi-Chapter:

Desperate Measures by Asidian

One of the fics that inspired "If the Cross" above, and one of my favorite "Astarion in the Shadow-Cursed Lands" pieces. Very good at balancing a sympathetic take on the character with him being, like canon Astarion, deceptive and a little bit abrasive when cornered. Plus bonus fun with Scratch.

this is a gift (it comes with a price) by ryttu3k

A post-game Ascended Astarion fic in which AA is literally soulless and knows it, and his sometimes-lover Duke Wyll Ravengard discovers over a series of nighttime visits that he secretly hates it. One of my favorite Ascension fics in part because, intentionally or not, it feels weirdly true to the experience of depressive anhedonia?

The Light of the Seven by Verelia

@reddenmore mentioned this one in the tags on my last fic rec list and I wholeheartedly agree; it's a real good Szarr Spawn Family character study delving into the backstory and personality of each of Cazador's "children," including Astarion.

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #fic recs

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amazingmsme · 2 months

Note

I am also here to add to the EPIC: The Musical agenda!! Thank you fluff-void because you made my writing brain go brr <3 -Sheridan

Polites and Odysseus start a damn tickle war, once Odysseus’s ticklishness gets out.

It’s really cute; Polites is jumpy and giggly for however long Odysseus feels like dragging out his anticipation, which can be a while depending on how mean he’s feeling.

He plays it completely straight too, despite the smirk tugging at the edges of his lips.

“Why so jumpy, brother? I was merely letting you know it’s my watch!”

“Ah, I didn’t mean to startle you, there was simply a loose thread I didn’t want to risk you getting caught on.”

He’s so smug, ugh.

The master of playful condescension and sarcasm as he lers.

“Oh; this tickles? I had no idea!”

“Being as ticklish as this? You must be an anomaly even the Gods can’t figure out. Heh; that or they cursed you. Wonder what you did in a past life~? Maybe you were just too cute for your own good. I’m willing to believe it- just listen to those adorable giggles and hiccups of yours!”

No strategy a lee of his thinks up will work 9 times out of 10. He’ll typically either know the person well enough, wait them out, or get a read on their strategy and then nip it in the bud.

Eurylochus let slip a bad spot of his only he remembered and started to hide, only appearing for his scheduled shifts, burying himself in his work. and dodging Odysseus at meal times only to get cornered in his room by an already waiting Odysseus who just grinned at him with a glint in his eyes.

“You know, I don’t think I quite remember your worst spots nearly as well as you do mine; shall we rediscover them together?”

“Captain, we can talk about this!”

Eurylochus tries to plead his case, already feeling a grin spreading across his lips but Odysseus merely cracks his neck and starts to move towards him.

“Oh I think you’ve already done quite enough talking for your own good, don't you?”

Eurylochus is lost to laughter after that.

He’s the one that gets most embarrassed when tickled in public, or in front of his men. His laughter is loud, and hard to contain when he finally cracks.

Odysseus truthfully isn’t much better embarrassment wise inwardly but his ler side tends to keep the men more in line, along with being Captain so no-one’s the wiser.

Eurylochus is there to make sure no-one goes too far, and intervene or turn the tables for those that deserve it. cough Odysseus cough

Odysseus gets so flustered if a God shows up while he’s being wrecked. Good Lord.

He can typically hold onto some remnant of his Captain persona otherwise but he crumbles if Athena or Hermes show up, especially if either teases him, or makes a sarcastic comment or dry quip like he tends to do when he’s the ler, or Gods forbid they help? It’s all over for him.

I’M EATING THIS RIGHT THE FUCK UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA! They’re so fucking cute & silly, they deserve to just have some fun & chill out. This got a lil long ‘cause I’m “normal” about them

Odysseus & Polites just go back & forth getting each other, & it all started when Polites just wanted to sneak up & startle him while he was having a conversation. But he surprised him by squeezing his sides & Odysseus was like “oh, you wanna start this?” & he’s so innocent like “start what?” & that’s the last thing he’s able to say

He’s Odysseus favorite to wreck because he’s just so cute & he makes it too easy. Odysseus loves fucking with him & pretending he’s not, it’s literally his favorite game

Shxjsvxuu his flimsy excuses are so funny cause like, yeah he COULD be telling the truth, but look at that smirk! Look at his eyes sparkling! That’s pure mischief baby! & the way he’s just so smugly casual is almost like a dare to be called out on it. & Polites tried to, once

“I know that’s not what you’re really doing!” & Odysseus cocks his head like “oh? So you’re calling me a liar?” & Eurylochus is looking at him from over the captain’s shoulder like don’t do it, but Polites keeps on truckin’. “No, that’s not what I’m saying” “then what are you saying?” & he’s using that teasy mocking tone & Polites is trying not to giggle & is like “you’re just trying to mess with me” & he grins & shrugs like “well now that you put the idea in my head” & Polites tries to be like “but the idea was already in your head!” But he’s wrestled to the ground before he can finish that sentence

I fucking love your examples of some of his teases cause they’re so spot on! He’s so smug & mean about it, he’s literally such a bullyyyy. He LOVES rubbing it in their face how ticklish they are or how much they’re laughing. Literally the best worst

Poor poor Eurylochus knew he fucked up the moment he said it. It just slipped out, Polites was finally getting some well deserved revenge, & in front of a small audience of some very amused soldiers. But he could see Odysseus was trying to get the upper hand, so he casually says “you should try his hips, they make him scream louder than the gods” & then freezes because he knows the target he just put on his back. & as if to confirm it, it the midst of the struggle Odysseus catches his eye & mouths “you’re dead” soooo yeah it’s time for his disappearing act

Some of the soldiers that bore witness catch on when they see that he’s not hanging around their captain & think it’s hilarious. They’ll sneak up behind him & go “boo” pretending to be Odysseus & it gives him a heart attack every damn time! Polites definitely notices his absence by their captain’s side & hunts him down to tease him about it. It backfires, but it was worth it in the moment. After like a week of hiding & strategic avoidance, he goes to his room to grab something. He walks in & the door slams shut behind him & Odysseus is standing there with his hand on the door, smug as ever. Just like “you’re a tough man to track down, you know that?”

He just starts backing up wondering if he could fit through the porthole window, slowly & carefully trying to plead his case. But Odysseus’s smile never falters & he’s just so ready to make him shut the hell up & laugh

Eurylochus has prided himself on his ability to always keep a cool head in most situations, so he gets really flustered any time he loses his composure. & nothing makes you lose your composure more than being tickled

He’s definitely really shy about it & his top priority is trying to hide his face or muffle his laughter. Odysseus loves to point out how he’d rather hide than fight back (that backfires because now he IS fighting back & Odysseus wasn’t prepared for that)

Odysseus talks such a big game for someone who can’t take what he dishes out. He blushes so much as soon as someone starts teasing him. He gets so cute & shy if he thinks he’s about to get wrecked & he goes over every escape option in his head

Ksbskandkf he would absolutely die on the fucking spot if a god personally bore witness to him in such a vulnerable, embarrassing position. Athena once showed up in the middle of Eurylochus & Polites wrecking him & she just quietly waits for them to finish. He’s soooo flustered & pissy that she just stood there & did nothing “I mean, the least you could’ve done was leave” & she’s smirking like “I need to talk to you. And you deserved to be humbled” but he’s still grumpy & embarrassed about it

#asks #thelaughtercafe #epic headcanons #odysseus #polites #eurylochus #epic the musical #the odyssey

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kuroashims · 4 months

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| simblr resolution tag |

tagged by : @lazysunjade ♡

tagging : @nefarrilou @simatomica @simandy @kamiiri @lupuspluvio (feel free to ignore!)

🔸 What's your resolution for your Simblr?

I've been here for two months and having a lot of fun already, so my main resolution for my simblr is to keep having fun and not trying to fit in a box! I also plan to diversify my posts because I've created abt 50 One Piece characters by now (and planning to create many more), but always end up playing with the same sims.. Lastly, I want to keep improving in creating cc, and maybe release some during the year? *fingers crossed*

🔸 What do you want from the Sims franchise?

An open world. Or to be more specific, every worlds as open worlds. I know it's too much to ask, but how wonderful would that be! I also want the number limit of sims living on the same lot to be way bigger than 8. I want new voices for our simmies, please EA, please. And finally, I have the unrealistic dream that the patches/extensions would not break mods and cc anymore!

🔸 Any other New Years resolutions?

My health is so bad I had to stop working the entire past year, and remained bedridden a lot. I am still very weak and underweight. So for me this new year is all about recovering, rediscovering myself as personally and professionally, one day at a time. I intend to do a lot more music, to dance, and begin to learn how to render too. And of course, keep spending as much quality time as possible with my loving hubby and our two bunnies 🐇✿🤍

#tag game #sims community #simblr resolutions 2024

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no1sharkenthusaist · 11 months

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! hsr headcannons for several characters ! [modern au]

♪ In-ter-net-o ya-me-ro ♪!

Y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o n l i n e !

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Characters : Dan Heng, Serval, Blade, Gepard, March

Plot : no real plot, just headcannons about honkai Characters in a modern au setting

Tags : modern au, headcannons, fluff, slight crack, wrote this at 11pm while heading home from a road trip

authors note : omg got a steam deck for my birthday (may 30th) and I. AM. IN. LOVE !!! I could talk abt it for hours and hours but i have my discord for that ehe. Anyways, ive been having fun rediscovering my old childhood games and thats when i had an epiphany. Hsr or genshin boys in a ddlc type scenario!!! Feeling so swag abt the idea. Also i got out of school so more uploads yaya. Thank u all for the support on my intro page yippee. I promise not to let you all down

╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ enjoy !

DANHENG

Now playing : Scrawny - The Wallows

He definitely dresses like with collared shirts and kinda has that accidental soft boy look

English major frfr

definitely listens to lovejoy/wilbursoot and bo burnham

Water drinker enthusiast (even tho he forgets to drink half the time-)

burnt out gifted kid

messed up sleeping schedules

Hes that quiet guy everyone has a crush on to some extent

He looks cold and serious during lectures, but hes actually just daydreaming and has his head in the clouds

Probably stays with the same group of kids he met in middle school because he cant socialize

I think said kids would be march, stelle/caleus, himeko And on ocasion blade, kafka, and silverwolf

Welt would be a chill english teacher that would let Dan Heng sit in his classroom during lunch

he likes going to concerts a lot

Learned to play guitar in middle school but doesnt like playing in front of people

Consider yourself lucky if he plays in front of you

Extremely oblivious to romance

Girls will try to flirt with him but he will just have a blank and confused look

Spends his free time in book stores shopping for records

Ps5 gamer frfr

Theater kid (had a hamilton phase)

SERVAL

Now playing : Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence

Shut me up by mindless self indulgence on loop

Like its probably to an unhealthy level

Always has headphones in(that gepard gave her for her birthday)(And so loud to the point you can hear the music standing next to her)

(went deaf at the ripe age of 13, after that it was all "huh?" /j)

Shirts from old bands, baggy jeans, fishnets, etc

Had an alt phase

Bad habit of smashing guitars

Dropped out of college after first semester

Had a band in highschool with Blade and Dan Heng that received noise complaints on a regular Basis

Really extroverted and easy to get along with

Loves going to concerts (especially the ones that get crazy like halfway through )

Probably gets in fights during black friday

Addicted to coffee (gepards needs to step in and help her drink something else)

Likes bitter stuff more than sweet stuff

Cares very deeply for her friends

The type of gal to go on road trips with friends and go Camping

Goes to protests every other tuesday

Probably banned from several places

very passionate about things she loves

Loves scary movies and Rollercoasters

The six flags employees have memorized her name

(shes just so cool i wanna be like her fr)

BLADE

Now playing : Consequences - Lovejoy

Theater kid (would never admit it tho)

Kafka teases him about it so much

met kafka and silverwolf in detention

The teachers hate the three of them

Alt kid and never got out of his emo phase

Besties with serval, change my mind

Kafka probably pushed him to join boxing to get his anger out in a less…destructive way

Loves the sleepovers he has with kafka and silverwolf

Broke silverwolf's tv while playing wii sports

Goes to college, no clue what he wants to do so hes just doing liberal studies

Adopted a small stray cat he saw on the ground during a storm

he tries to be tough and mean, but hes a big Softy

Loves the Beetlejuice musical(and mean girls but we dont talk about that)

has probably been on probation on multiple occasions

Probably vandalized the car of someone he didnt like

Kafka has to sweet talk everyone out of getting blade in serious trouble

Hes really good at basketball, he just doesnt like it so he never pushed it further

Doesnt really like or understands sports

probably listens to videogame osts 24/7

GEPARD

Now Playing : Pretty Face - PUBLIC

Getting serval out of trouble isnt a choice, its a lifestyle

Which is ironic, as he is a criminal justice major

But he still will always be her biggest supporter

Dresses (like a costco dad) soft boy by pure accident

Completely oblivious to anything and everything

Enjoys gardening and has a lemon Tree

Cave Town enthusiast

Lemonade Enthusiast

Sends people those "reminder to drink water and be happy" messages

Straight 4.0 GPA student. The teachers loved Him

Was really shy so he didnt have many friends growing up (Serval had to help him out)

Hates rollercoasters, serval drags him around six flags and he screams his head off

Poor guy :<

Still loves it since he loves hanging out with his sister

Student council secretary

No clue how the internet and technology works

Strong sense of justice

That has gotten him involved in several issues

Which ironically, serval got him out of

Wholesome cinnamon roll, pls protecc

MARCH 7TH

Now playing : Cupid - FIFTY FIFTY

That one girl in class that no one could hate

Class representative and student council public relations officer

Photography major (duh)

Social butterfly and very easy to talk to

Want to go out to go eat something sweet while having fun? March has you covered !

March Makes friendship braclets and sells them so she can go shopping

has a secret stash of candy hidden in her dorm

March has a babysitting gig and comes to peoples houses with candy

Shes a little kid magnet, they all love her so much

had a club penguin phase with Dan Heng and they both shudder just thinking about it

learned all her profanity from watching Dan Heng play Call Of Duty

sucks at english, fries her brain like a hashbrown

k-pop girlie

dresses really cute with cardigans and pastel pinks

(watched aphmau, Her favorite one was a mermaid tales and mystreet) [submitted by someone on my discord who wants to stay anon]

plays overwatch and says things like "Hey, thats not nice!"

lowkey kind of a teachers pet-

Loves webtoons and collects the physical releases

! Thats a wrap !

! Join my discord HERE !

! Likes, reblogs, comments are greatly appreciated !

and thank you for reading ^^

♪ Overdose 君とふたりやるせない日々♪

! y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o f f l i n e !

t h a n k y o u f o r c o m i n g ~

#hsr headcanons #march 7th #dan heng #serval #star rail #hsr blade #blade hc #march 7th hc #hsr x reader #Yumi's shark blog that isnt quite about sharks #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr drabbles

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visualtaehyun · 3 months

Text

When you get this you have to answer with 5 of your fav songs and then tag your mutuals to do the same :) (no pressure <3)

Tagged by @chickenstrangers @twig-tea @thegalwhorants - thanks y'all ☺️ please never stop tagging me in music games, I love discovering and sharing music <3

I'm cheating here but a lot of my fav songs are OSTs so to not give myself a headache give the rest a fighting chance, I'm gonna choose 5 favs, excluding OSTs, and 5 only-OST favs!

ดาวหางฮัลเลย์ - fellow fellow

/daao haang Halley/

youtube

This song has not released me from its clutches since I first heard it during the musical portion of the ZeeNuNew concert last year. I love the lyrics and the vibes so so much. 🥹

ติดฝน - PiXXiE

/dtit fon/

youtube

I. LOVE. THESE. GIRLS! They're so talented! I legit struggled with which song of theirs to choose but I'm most obsessed with this one these days and, recently, I keep hearing people I follow sing it or play it as background music. Case in point: Keng Harit, Domundi gen 3, singing it on an IG live.

ฉันมันเป็นคนแบบนี้ - Boom Saharat

/chan man bpen khohn baaep nee/

youtube

The weirdest thing happened: I was listening to NuNew's cover of this song (listen- I'm aware I discover a lot of songs through him but he IS my favorite performer dsjshdhhs) and got real confused because I was able to sing along right away but cannot for the life of me recall how I knew this song already! I hadn't seen the MV, no one I follow seems to have covered it, and I didn't know the artist at all?? It remains a mystery to me but I've played it endlessly since then. New Thitipoom stars in the MV btw!

ต่อจากนี้เพลงรักทุกเพลงจะเป็นของเธอเท่านั้น - No One Else

/dtaaw jaak nee phleng rak thook phleng ja bpen khaawng ter thao nan/

youtube

I don't remember how I originally found it but it's one of those songs that routinely has me singing along. The title translates to 'From now on every love song will be yours'. I love the lyrics a lot!

Complicated - MATCHA

youtube

This is one of many songs and artists I discovered on that one afternoon-turned-evening-turned-night when I decided to start tracking down every song Amp Achariya has had a hand in (I then realized I was in over my head and that she'd worked on so. many. more. than I ever expected and that my spreadsheet skills weren't sufficient to catalog them lol). Needless to say, Matcha is incredibly talented and I've so far only scratched the surface of her discography.

Onto 5 of my fav OSTs!

ร้อยฤดูหนาว - Pond, Phuwin

/raawy reu duu naao/

youtube

I love the way this song builds with the instruments coming in one after another. I love their voices. I love the lyrics. This song was written by ณกมล ปุคคละนันท์ aka PEPPERY P who penned a lot of the My School President songs - อีกนิด (Come Closer), รักษา (Healing), พูดได้ไหม (Let Me Tell You), ก้อนหินกับดวงดาว (Rock&Star), and รักคู่ขนาน (Multi-Love). Yes, I am in fact sneakily rec'ing the MSP OST here too lol

คือเธอ - Zee, NuNew

/kheuu ter/

youtube

I could've chosen so many songs among the Cutie Pie OSTs but ended up deciding on this one because P'Pin truly wrote this song to highlight both their vocal talents and it shows. ✨️ He works a lot with Domundi artists (especially ZeeNuNew) and FreenBecky, writing songs and OSTs for them and arranging songs for them for concerts - his IG is full of song insights and singing snippets if you like any of these artists!

ภาพสุดท้าย - William Jakrapatr

/phaap sut thaai/

youtube

Do I even need to explain? It's an Amp Achariya song, the lyrics are beautiful, the meaning within the show is so !! and this LYKN boy right here kills it with his performance. 👏

แค่เธอ - Jeff Satur

/khaae ter/

youtube

I'm not a KP girlie and this song wasn't even on my radar when I watched the show. I kinda rediscovered it a few months later, most likely either by going through Jeff's discography or maybe through Joong Archen singing it on an IG live (I realize it must look like I sit and watch a shit ton of IG lives but the honest truth is that I don't even use IG, I just stumble upon clips on twt and YT a lot lol). And boy howdy did Jeff's writing strike a chord! Don't get me wrong, the English version is nice too and all but it doesn't come close to the Thai lyrics and how well they flow with the melody, Jeff really outdid himself there!

คู่คอง - Kong Huayrai

/khuu khaawng/

youtube

นาคี is not a drama I've seen and, yes, I again know this song through a NuNew cover lol but I really wanted to make sure to include a ลูกทุ่ง (Luk Thung) song because I love this genre. This song is extra special because the lyrics are in Isan, which is a Northeastern Thai dialect (though it's actually far closer to Lao than Central Thai). I routinely get this song stuck in my head.

/end of Thai music ramble

I'm sure I'm late to the party again so if you've been tagged already, please kindly ignore this or point me towards your post. ✨️ Tagging @raktae @sunshinechay @btwinlines @zimmbzon @airenyah @rocketturtle4 @telomeke and whoever sees this and wants in on the fun~

#tag game #thai music #tpop

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namethat-i-oughttohavetoldyou · 4 months

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A Gentle Reminder

This fic was written all the way back in October 2022 and never posted, because it felt too personal. But with Happy New One being basically the other side of the same coin even though they don't necessarily take place in the same timeline/universe (you know how I am with my conflicting headcanons), I think it's finally time. Maybe tell me what you think? Enjoy, and my love to all who read/like/reblog (especially the last one)! ♥

So much is obvious: She is a tool. She is a weapon, dangerous to approach and even more dangerous to turn one’s back to. She is a toy, a plaything, to be used and thrown away at a moment’s notice. Her claws are sharp and unforgiving, ready to scratch, to hurt, to maim, to kill. And yet…

And yet.

Her body is hers. It is a tool, yes, to dance, to leap, to jump with joy and, less and less, to cower in fear.

It is hers.

She is to decide.

Her mouth and throat are tools, to laugh, to cry, to whisper and scream and to speak and sing, sing, sing.

Her tail is a toy, a plaything for exuberant kittens, who stop and flop down and apologize when she hisses quietly in annoyance or pain at their tiny pinprick teeth and claws.

Her claws are sharp and unforgiving, and she goes to the old sofa with Mistoffelees to sharpen them further, scratching at the armrest until hers gleam and his spark, bright and colourful against his black coat.

Her claws are dangerous, and yet! They are just tools.

Tools to draw flowers into the hard earthy ground in the winter for Jemima, to disentangle George’s tail after he has gotten himself caught up in yet another thistle bush, to knead lumpy bedding so Gus can rest on it more comfortably.

Her claws cause pain.

And they cause pleasure, paws pressed against Bombalurina’s back, claw-tips just skimming the skin under her fire-red coat. Bombalurina’s blissful purr undulates with her movements and rings in her ears even hours later.

She is, all in all, a tool for her environment, with the distinction that she alone decides how she is used.

Just like everyone else.

And she remembers.

Most importantly, she is a cat. So much is obvious.

She remembers that her claws can sheathe, leaving soft paw pads to caress a kitten’s head and to touch another paw in greeting, cautious, but trusting. Unarmed, so to say.

For a while, after she rediscovers this, she gives up on suppressing kittenish urges to shove objects off ledges or bat at tails and ears that don’t move away quickly enough.

(Munkustrap develops the instinct to duck whenever he notices her, and yet his long ears, wiggling with amusement as is their quirk, are never save from her paws.)

She remembers that she is soft, vulnerably so, body and mind forgiving and so desperate to trust, to love. The more she remembers this, the more she notices the reciprocation from all around her.

She is soft and vulnerable, and she has never felt better.

She remembers that she is whole, has been whole, really, for her entire life.

After all, she is still here, still herself, in her entirety. Nothing has been taken from her, on the contrary, she has brought back more than she had left with. Memories, fears, hatred, a dislike for tuna that she can’t really explain, experiences and wariness.

But really, nothing could be taken away from her. Even though some parts may be missing, she is still here.

She is still herself.

That, to her, means she is whole, just as whole as she has always been.

She remembers that she is part of the collective, part of the colony, part of the family.

Even new songs she has never heard before are familiar, and she never dances alone for longer than a few minutes.

The music and energy and magic swells in her chest just like it does for everyone else, including the small, rather personal nudge; there you are. We missed you. Welcome back.

There she is.

And finally, Demeter remembers that she has a name, two, three of them, even, and they are all hers and hers alone.

Hers to give and hers to reveal, except for the third, which is hers to keep to herself.

She feels giddy with this knowledge, like a kitten who has been sworn to keep a secret.

We’re going to give it to her as a gift, but you mustn’t tell anyone!

No-one, no-one! What a wonderful feeling!

Promise you won’t tell?

What a breathtaking sign of trust!

Trust, as well, is hers to give.

She tells Munkustrap in the end.

Nobody loves stories as much as he does, and her telling him her third name takes her from early noon until deep into the night, almost morning, really.

(She isn’t finished quite yet, but they agree to get some sleep before continuing.)

Munkustrap’s ears wiggle with giddiness over having gotten to discover this secret she has decided to share.

Her paw baps at them almost without her notice, already half-asleep.

Demeter is whole. So much is obvious.

(Click -> here <- to read the counterpart fic.) "There you are. We missed you." Recovery can be a beautiful thing, no? It might take a long, long time, but it certainly has its moments. I will not going to go into more detail, so please don't ask me to. All I have to say has been said in the 789 words above. Demeter did always inspire me to experiment with my writing style. Thank you for reading. ♥

#namethat-i writes #cats the musical #demeter

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duchessdepolignaca03 · 17 days

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Thanks @priincebutt for the tag! This is an open tag, because I don't want to tag anyone specifically as some of these questions are a little sketch, so the answers below are a little obtuse/long-winded. This was SUPER FUN though!

Are you named after anyone?

Yes - a pop star and a jewelry company/type of diamond cut.

When was the last time you cried?

During Totality of the 2024 Solar Eclipse, genuinely one of the most beautiful and awe-inspiring moments of my life. I was struck by the beauty of the corona which shimmered like diamonds in the sky, struck by perfect randomness of the universe that that gave us a sun that’s 400x bigger than the moon and 400x as far, creating the perfect symmetry to allow for a solar eclipse, and how this same random perfection gave me my daughter, loving husband and all the privileges I have in my life.

Hours before, I also shed frustrated and sad tears that my enjoyment of a fandom that has given me so much joy and creative inspiration has soured over being soundly, but unexpectedly, rejected. Frustrated and sad that I may have to bow out and give up something I thoroughly enjoyed giving my free labour to and through which I have made some wonderful friends that have buoyed me over the past year.

Do you have kids?

See above.

What sports do you play/have you played?

I was never a sporty kid, but as an adult I discovered running, which has both been a lifeline and a source of endless frustration and pain. I’ve run a marathon, about a dozen half marathons, innumerable 5ks and 10ks and kicked the butt of a 30k once in a winter storm. I can’t wait to rediscover running again and start my running journey from scratch.

Do you use sarcasm?

Not as much as I wish I would like. I’m not as spicy as I think I am, haha.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

How they are treating me, which tells me how they want to be treated back.

What’s your eye color?

Dark like my soul! You can hardly see my pupils, and its not because I’m high!

Scary movies or happy endings comedies?

Neither! I love a good story, I love a drama. My favourite films recently have been films that felt simultaneously satisfying and unsatisfying at the same time. Both feature Paul Mescal (Aftersun and All of Us Strangers), and focus on parenthood and the relationships we have with the memories of our parents.

Any talents?

Not really? I suppose I have a talent for seeming more enthusiastic about things than I really am.

Where were you born?

In a city in an archipelago in the Pacific Ocean.

What are your hobbies?

Motherhood and full time job life doesn’t leave a lot of time for hobbies, but I l have love engaging in the RWRB fandom, and reading and writing and making some amazing friends. Before writing and posting fanfiction, I did a lot of roleplaying on IJ, Tumblr and Discord. I enjoy broadway musicals and watching too much British television. I also love riding the Peloton and a good strength session!

Do you have any pets?

Yes. But I see you with this revealing security question, potential fraudster :P

How tall are you?

I grew up in poverty in a developing country, subsisting mostly on rice and coffee and white bread with mayonnaise (yes, mayonnaise), raised by a loving but chain-smoking mother. There was no hope for me to become taller than an oversized hobbit. Let’s just say my husband and I have to toggle the Peloton back and forth between the most extreme settings possible.

Favorite subject in school?

History and Politics. The great loves of my life, if its not already obvious.

Dream job?

My current job is nominally my dream job. However, I would like to serve a government that genuinely cares about the public, that thinks beyond myopic and cynical politics and actually wants to improve the lives of ordinary citizens, uplift the vulnerable, tax the shit out of the rich and - at minimum - not support genocide.

#tag game #about me #duchess de polignac

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critical-reflex · 2 months

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♡♤

♤: can you lose your wallet and still have an identity?

♡: it matters who people think you are.

♤: what about who i think i am?

♡: irrelevant.

♤: what about you?

♡: i'm reading the writings on the walls. some of the ink has turned colors.

♤: and so here you are.

♡♤: waiting for the moment i confirm or deny.

♡: well, for the first five months of twenty-twenty i slipped into a dream and it was so meticulously crafted that i didn't notice the bizarre irregularities as i went on about my business.

example. the dream deli where i loved to tickle Jimmy's beard for a cold sub was situated at Roswell and Hunter. that's not accurate at all in reality, it's between Cheshire and York. but who cares, names are names.

i carried on doing what felt right. i worked at my desk. i was a good little boy and said excuse me every time i passed gas. i took Frogger out for a walk along his favorite route. no one stared at him weird for only having three legs. in reality he had four. numbers are numbers mmm.

at night i took out my contacts flawlessly - amazing because i never learned how. i washed my hands with the invisible water rushing out of the faucet. the heat pouring over me was a sure sign that it existed. and that's when i knew you were real - well, thought - because when you put your arms around me and snuggled me safely into your wings, i rediscovered love.

safety and love are rarely different.

and now that i'm awake, shaking from deep inside bone marrow, seeing constellations and mountains disappear without notice or news reports, segments of the sky being torn down like 80's wallpaper, i'm still a little iffy about a couple of things ...

♤: like when will i see you next?

♡: of course.

♤: if you're lucky, at the next meteor shower or blood moon.

♡: and what am i supposed to do until then?

♤: as you were. dreaming.

♡: dreaming is the only option i ever had.

♤: have you tried making music out of the chaos and destruction?

♡:

♤: hold my hand.

■

#poeticstories #poetryportal #bitsofstarglow #spilled thoughts #smittenbypoetry #spilled ink #poetry #original poetry #poems and poetry

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linghxr · 2 years

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Chinese Music I Listened to This Spring/Summer

I think it’s been a few months since I posted about Chinese music/cpop, so I thought I’d provide an update on what I’ve been listening to this past spring/part of summer.

And of course, I made a Spotify playlist to go along with this post. And each song name is linked to YouTube for those of you who don’t use Spotify. The Spotify playlist includes a few “bonus” songs.

薛之谦 / Joker Xue In my last music post, I called 薛之谦 “my latest Mandopop obsession.” I’ve still been listening to his music a lot, but I’ve had different songs on repeat lately. His slower and quieter songs have been speaking to me a lot more.

《像风一样》 is the musical version of a deep breath. But a sorrowful, long deep breath. The lyrics are quite sad really, but this song also makes me feel at peace.

《哑巴》 is that song that I never skip when it comes on shuffle. It starts out very quietly, so sometimes in the car I can’t even hear that it’s begun, But it picks up towards the middle/end.

《那是你离开了北京的生活》 was a song I used to overlook. But luckily I gave it a second chance! It’s once again a sad yet beautiful song. The lyrics are making me tear up a bit, not gonna lie.

《变废为宝》 kinda goes over my head lyrically, but the vibe isn’t as sad as the previous 3 songs. It gives me a slightly hopeful feeling.

《动物世界》 is the darkest and gloomiest out of these 5 songs. It sounds a bit on-edge and unsettled.

韦礼安 / WeiBird Similarly, I’ve also continued listening to 韦礼安 this spring.

《女孩》 was love at first listen when I heard it covered on Chuang 2021 (which I just watched this spring). I instantly went to look up who it was by and was pleasant surprised to see it was a 韦礼安 song! This song is just so cute—but in a good way!

《不用告诉我》 was not very memorable to me at first, but then I found that I had the line 让我卑微地享受片刻的永久 stuck in my head. Oddly, this song really feels like an album intro song to me, but it’s #6 in the tracklist.

《记得回来》 has pretty simple lyrics that I think many of us can understand, which is a huge plus. It’s the perfect song to belt along to (even as someone who sucks at singing).

《忽然》 is basically the definition of a song that starts slow and then builds up to an explosion. It even has a nifty guitar solo. 10/10 recommend.

《如果可以》 is a huge hit for a reason. It does give off major “movie theme song” vibes, which can be a turn-off, but I still like it. Also, there are official Japanese and Korean versions, so if you’re learning those languages, check them out!

徐佳莹 / LaLa Hsu 《言不由衷》 is a song I’ve heard many times before because I’ve listened to the album it’s from a lot. Oddly, it never stood out to me before, but I somehow “rediscovered” it this spring and really fell in love.

邱锋泽 / Feng Ze

《冰山》 is just super catchy! Part of me registers that the lyrics are actually a bit sad, but I end up singing along with a smile on my face. Whoops.

《年青有为》is one of two songs to the same melody. The other song is sung in Cantonese, and it’s called 《一表人才》. They both also include singer 吕爵安. Honestly this song isn’t that special. I just like it.

《潜台词》 is actually a duet with 黄伟晋. This song really drilled its way into my head. I seriously cannot stop humming it! It has a somewhat slow and mellow but also hard-hitting. Surprisingly, I don’t mind the rap (I’m not a big rap fan).

《日环食》 was the first Feng Ze song that clicked with me. It’s a relatively simple song, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It feels quite earnest.

九泽CP / Nine Chen & Feng Ze 九泽CP is a duo comprised of Nine Chen (陈零九) and Feng Ze (邱锋泽). I have to learn how to distinguish their voices (something I am not good at in general). This feels like cheating somehow because it means I have way too many Feng Ze songs here.

《偷走你的心》 is bubblegum pop, but I love it. It’s so infectious and makes me feel bubbly. I love the little opening sax(?) moment too. It reminds me a bit of a kpop song with the short rap sections. Only thing I don’t like is that it’s too short!

《绝对发言》 has a lot in common with the previous song, but it’s a little more funky and spirited in my opinion. If you like one, I’m sure you’ll like the other.

《最后一秒钟》 is quite different from the two right above. It’s more somber and serious, but I think the duo pulled off this style very well as well. It does not feel nearly like a 5 minute song!

井胧 / Jing Long I was introduce to Jing Long while watching Chuang 2021, and *SPOILER* I was very upset that he did not make it to the final because I love his unique voice! Fortunately, he seems to be doing pretty well for himself from what I’ve seen.

《不删》 is another song that I can understand very easily. Sometimes I feel a bit silly listening to a song about WeChat, but obviously this song is about much more than just that. Jing Long’s voice conveys the emotions so well.

《丢了你》 - In the time between when I started drafting this post and today, this song was removed from US Spotify and then added back. Get your act together, Spotify and music labels! I was distressed to see it greyed out—then it suddenly reappeared! But anyway the song is really good.

华晨宇&杨宗纬 / Hua Chenyu & Aska Yang 《国王与乞丐》 is not at all a recent discovering, but for some reason I’ve been drawn back to it lately. It’s a lovely duet. But something wacky has been going on with the 《异类》 album on US Spotify too. I kept having to remove and then readd this song to my playlist. You’ve been warned!

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