#Anyway I wonder can you filter on someones account by original posts only? Because | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jonathanslms · 1 year

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Here's what I missed on ! Tumblr !

It's pretty weird to return to this site after so long. (I'm not exactly a "Twitter refugee" as they seem to be called lmao, more like someone who, because of the whole Twitter stuff, realised that there are still people on Tumblr? And apparently the site stopped their weird filtering/post banning system bc they now allow porn again? Anyway,) I don't remember when I was last active on Tumblr because I deleted my old blog some years ago, but if I had to guess I was probably active from around 2013 to 2015/16 at the latest? And boy, there's so much new stuff...

Firstly, the quality and functionality of themes seems much higher? Maybe that's just because I'm older now, but there are just so many original and innovative themes and pages that, like, are so interactive?? And such a broad variety as well!!!

Adding on to that: Javascript is sort of forbidden?? The work-around is pretty fast and easy (just ask support for permission basically), but still, that sucks lol.

Then there's the whole "you can have an account but no actual blog"-thing?? Idk if I really like that. A lot of people seem to use the site like that, so it's apparently at least somewhat popular. But as a Tumblr-conservative (as in conservative about Tumblr, not a conservative on Tumblr) I must say that having a blog and customizing it was sort of the whole Unique Selling Point of the site, so... interesting choice. (As long as that's still possible I'm still happy either way, I think)

The whole Dashboard experience in general is just so different now. For one, there are ads? I'm not a fan of ads (shocking opinion, I know) and I'm sure had they done it right Tumblr could have become like Ao3 and not even needed them. Still, I don't mind them too much (haha certainly not bc I use adblock :) idk what that is, sounds very morally wrong to me) and I read somewhere that the premium version is only 40€/year, which isn't a lot a lot, but still unfortunate.

I can't even tell which features are new and which aren't most of the time (except for the replying to posts? and THE CHAT?? now that there is one I can't help but wonder why there wasn't one from the start?). I think there's a lot of stuff Tumblr implemented that used to only be possible through xkit before.

Speaking of which: xkit! There's a new version - xkit rewritten - and it's incredible. I didn't even think about re-installing xkit until I stumbled upon a post that mentioned it. Now that I am aware of its existence again, god have I missed it. Being properly on Tumblr without it just isn't the same, man...

Pretty sure the search and follow tags/trending/etcetc stuff is completely revamped as well, but I don't think I used that very often back then anyway. Once I followed a big chunk of blogs I just found new ones through snowballing.

The last thing I can think of that noticably threw me off was the slang? Like wtf is a blorbo? (I actually think I get that one now) What are those other scrinkly, scrumblo, beedy weeby words? Why do I feel several generations older all of a sudden? I can feel the immediate and visceral impulse of disgruntled rejection welling up inside me everytime I see people use any new slang word (or meme, looking at you old scorsese movie that doesn't exist) whose invention I wasn't there for. (please if you've been (back) here for a while, feel free to educate me on the new tumblr etiquette, memes and slang words, I'm curious, I wanna know)

Though that being said, the overall vibes have not changed much. It is still a site that embraces its nerdy lameness and unnecessarily deep deep-dives into ANYTHING. And after the last few months to years of seeing people attacking anyone and anything, and feeling angry/depressed every time I spent some time on my social media site of choice, I think this is a very nice change of pace.

#a bit of a rambly list on my thoughts of the changes on here over the years #god i remember when i first made an account here #my english was terrible #i did not have the first clue on how to change my theme or what that was even called #AND i was a full on larry shipper directioner (my first url was sth along the lines of “larrystylinsonmonstaaa”#i say along the lines...#i think that was it exactly #making myself a tumblr account in 2022 just so i can go on an internet powered nostalgia trip #this time i'm going to fully (and self-aware..ly?) embrace the cringe though #off into the void you go

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mostlikelyshutup · 3 years

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thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

#harry potter #sorcerer's stone #harry potter and the sorcerer's stone #harry potter and the philosopher's stone #hermione granger #ron weasley #k mumbles #fred weasley #george weasley #ginny weasley #hagrid #rubeus hagrid #albus dumbledore #long post #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin

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one-abuse-survivor · 3 years

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hi, it's the milky way again

it's been a while since i've dropped something in your mailbox

i've now finished the school year and the grades and reports are coming in tomorrow or the day after. i'm kinda scared of them because i know they dropped a lot since last year but i'm pretty sure i passed most if not all of my courses so i think it'll be fine.

i started working a summer job a week ago and i'll be working the next week too. it's mostly because i need the money so i can replace my broken phone but also because we had to do some kind of job/workplace experience thing because of our school (that was voluntary though because of covid). the job pays really well so i might also get a new binder with the money since the one i have now is falling apart. on the other hand, working 8 hours a day for five days straight has really taken all of my energy and i can't listen to music while working which makes it a lot harder. the last week i've mostly been coming home in the evening, maybe eating something and going straight to bed.

(also i got my period last thursday and i hate hate hate it so much it makes everything so much worse even without the dysphoria it's just so messy and annoying to deal with)

a week ago i finally jumped over my shadow and talked to my mom but it was a huge disappointment. i'm pretty sure i couldn't get my point across in a way she'd understand and she kinda just admitted not being able to help after saying a bunch of things that really hurt. i removed myself from the situation by "going to bed" aka going to my room, locking my door and crying myself to sleep. i was just really pissed off and talking to her was kinda my last resort for when i realized i couldn't help myself anymore.

anyway, the day after that was monday (when i started working) and me, running on barely any sleep because the night before was a disaster, had to somehow survive work and i'm pretty sure i ignored or snapped at a lot of people that day which i feel kinda bad for.

on wednesday after work i talked to my mom again because i was pissed off and couldn't let it sit. she said the same kind of bs she had used on sunday and we got nowhere, since then i've probably been a lot less friendly to her but i'm just not ready to give up so much energy for her.

her favorite arguments we're things like "but others have it a lot worse" (which is a mindset i've worked on getting away from for quite a while) (also my mom was referring only to my grades with this but little does she know that the only reason why my grades aren't dropping that badly is because no matter how bad i got mentally, i yeeted stuff like self-care before school because school had always been structured and mostly clear while life in general was just. not.)

other arguments she used were "just get off your phone and set a timer for 45 minutes and concentrate on what you wanna get done" and "just pull yourself together, it's not that hard" (those were about me saying that i struggle with starting tasks and getting shit done)

lastly she also said that my expectations are just way too high and that if i didn't expect only the best from myself (this was about grades too) i wouldn't get so disappointed if i didn't get that great grade i was hoping for. and like, she's not wrong but if you've only ever been good at one thing in your entire life and you were really good at it, then you'd just expect nothing but the best from yourself because you know reaching that isn't impossible.

and she ended it with "what do you expect me to do?" and "i can't help you" and i realized later that i just should've said that she should help me get someone that *can* help me, like a therapist or something.

anyway, i'm proud of myself for finding a summer job and finally talking to my mom and not so proud of my grades and the fact that i can't seem to get the point across to my mom

thank you for creating this safe space for people like us, i wish you a happier time than the one i'm having :')

milky way here :|

got the reports and grades and stuff yesterday and i'm just :| about it. like, yea i know i'm still somewhere at the top of the class and that i'm more than one and a half grades better than some others in my class but i'm still upset about my grade in maths for example but my parents laughed/chuckled at me when i was upset and that really hurt

and afterwards my mom said something along the lines of "yes you're allowed to be stressed but because of your good grades you don't have the right to complain about being stressed" which is absolute bs and i still don't understand how having good grades disqualifies one from complaining and i'm sure as hell not gonna ask her

i just wanna scream in her face but i'm pretty sure she'd slap me if i did that

i'm almost done with my summer job and since monday noon i had the chance to work in a different part of the factory which is a lot less uncomfy to be in because it has AC and since it's not in the lab itself, i don't have to wear a hair net, an overall, steel-toed boots and rubber gloves.

today i set myself a few goals for the summer break and for the next school year and i really hope i can get through with those because it'd make future-me extremely happy

have a great great time :D

and PS: since tumblr has been eating a lot of notifs lately i missed a lot of your posts and i tried filtering by the milky way anon tag but only one post showed up. i'm not sure what's up with that tho

Hi again! Don’t worry, I got you. Here’s a link to all the asks you’ve sent up to this point: first, second, third. All of them are tagged, but the tumblr search engine isn’t exactly known for its accuracy. I use the tumblr original post finder site for this stuff, but I just realised by looking for your asks that the site takes capital letters into account, so the ones that were tagged with a capital M in Milky weren’t showing. They all do show now that I changed the M to lowercase. So I’ll have to try to be more consistent with that from now on 😅

On to your asks. First off, congrats on finishing your course! And I really hope you can replace your phone and your binder :D sorry about getting your period, though, that really sucks :(

I think the conversation with your mom that Sunday is the one discussed on the third ask I linked. I'm really sorry the same thing happened on Wednesday. It's not your fault you can't get across to her—she's the one who should be open to helping you and offering possible (actual) solutions to the problems you're bringing up to her, and not you who should spell out every single thing she can do to help you. You're not being unclear to her—she's being obtuse and refusing to listen.

You're not meant to know how to just "pull yourself together", and you're absolutely right that your grades not dropping all the way doesn't mean you're not struggling, and you still deserve help so you don't have to jeopardise your mental health for your grades. And while she's right you don't deserve to be so hard on yourself or to expect perfection from yourself, that's also something that you deserve professional help with. Again, you're not meant to know how to just turn off those emotions and thought processes.

*hugs* sorry your math grade wasn't as high as you'd hoped. It's okay to be upset and disappointed by that, and I'm so sorry they laughed at you. You do have every right to express your emotions, and you're not being unfair to anyone else for being unhappy with your own grades. I often feel the same! I get really good grades (as I think I've already said), and I also often feel disappointed when a grade isn't as high as I'd hoped. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. I'm really glad you know what your mom says is bs, because it really is. It's no wonder you feel like screaming in her face—she sounds incredibly frustrating, exhausting and invalidating to deal with. You deserve so much better than this 😔

I'm so glad you're proud of yourself! I'm really proud of you too for everything you've accomplished despite her being so unhelpful and invalidating, and I really hope you're enjoying the rest of your summer holidays and you can reach your goals! And if the occasion arises and you do end up using the "you can help me find someone who can help me" line, I hope it goes better. But if not, again, please know this is an issue of her refusing to listen, and not of you being unclear about what you need.

Sending a huge virtual hug ❤️

#ask #neglectful mother #Abusive mother #milky way anon #Covid mention #emotional neglect tw #Dysphoria mention #abusive parents #Toxic parents #Ableism tw #Dysphoria tw #Milky way anon

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scripttorture · 4 years

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Hi! Not sure how to phrase this. I have a character who was tortured, physically and otherwise, for a long time starting from say 16. The torture was a way of training and conditioning this character to be a certain way, punishing "wrong" behaviour. Kinda like brainwashing. At some point this character gives in. My question is 3-part. 1, is this scenario possible? 2, can this "programming" be broken? 3, if so, would there be times where it "snaps back" ?

This scenario isn’t possible. Or rather- it wouldn’t ‘work’ the way the people doing the ‘training’ think it should. You should really start by reading this post on torture apologia present in fiction and how to avoid it.

Before I go any further I’d advise you not to use the term ‘psychological torture’ in your writing. It’s a term that torture apologists tend to use to refer to practices that are physically harmful (sometimes fatal) but don’t leave obvious scars. These ‘clean’ tortures, like stress positions, solitary confinement and starvation are not ‘psychological’.

Torture is physically harmful. Downplaying or ignoring that belittles what survivors go through.

This does not mean that emotional abuse, coercion and manipulation are not harmful. They are. But they do not, to my knowledge, cause kidney failure, heart attacks, strokes or any of the other possible causes of death by clean tortures.

Brainwashing doesn’t work. Not in the sense of beating someone until they think the way the abuser wants anyway, and that’s the impression I’m getting from this ask.

If the abuser characters want the victim to perform tasks then this kind of abuse is probably going to make the victim much worse at those task then they would have been otherwise.

I mention that because a lot of asks with this scenario are using it as ‘training’ for being a soldier, assassin or thief. And working under the assumption that a torture survivor would be ‘better’ at it as a result. Often what the author describes in the ask would be fatal.

Leaving this story as it is isn’t just unrealistic; it is unrealistic in ways that excuse torture or downplay the harm it causes. It suggests that survivors are controlled by torturers. That torture can ‘force’ people to change their strongly held beliefs. It suggests that because of these two things survivors are dangerous and this is a line of thought that is used to bar real survivors from real help.

None of that is true. This is not how torture functions.

I think removing the apologia gives you two choices with this scenario. You can carry on with a scenario close to the current one, in which case it shouldn’t be treated like brainwashing but like slavery; so there are no ‘programmed’ behaviours or changed beliefs but there’s a lot of abuse and coercion that effects the character in a lasting way.

Or you can change the scenario in a way which could have a chance to effect the victim character’s beliefs and feelings. They wouldn’t become a programmed automata, but they could come out of it wanting to behave the way their abusers told them to. This is unlikely to work if there is any sort of deprivation or physical abuse.

I’ll talk a little about both possibilities. Realistic or not there’s something in the original scenario that appealed to you, that felt important to the story. I think you can find it again in one of the more realistic scenarios. But I don’t know what it was you found interesting, what you wanted to explore.

You know that best; the choice of which scenario is best for your story is up to you.

Let’s start with slavery.

People who are beaten and abused in an attempt to force them to work will often chose to comply. But I don’t think it’s accurate to treat this as if they’ve done anything other then make a hard-headed conscious choice.

These victims assess the situation they are in and generally they choose to comply because they recognise that they’re more likely to survive if they do.

Many of them will see compliance as a short term strategy that makes successful escape more likely in the longer term.

And there are limits to this compliance. Enslaved people resist in a huge variety of ways. Granted not all of these actions are obvious or successful, but they are intended as acts of resistance and should be understood that way.

People enslaved during the transatlantic trade launched organised wars against the people who enslaved them. They faced guns with crude or no weapons. And sometimes, as in Haiti, they won.

They also organised large scale escapes and founded sophisticated, separate societies. The most famous of which were in Brazil.

They poisoned and attacked slavers. They sabotaged equipment. They destroyed property. They conducted banned religious rituals, educated themselves and others. They also committed suicide in large numbers and they stated that this was to spite the people who enslaved them.

In short enslaved people do not stop being people.

Torture encourages resistance. It causes an unbelievably strong feeling of opposition to the torturers and everything the survivor associates with them. This can sometimes extend to whole races, countries, religious groups, institutions and so forth.

Enslaved people do not agree with the people who abuse them. And I do not think their actions, their decisions should be understood as long term ‘obedience’ but as short term compliance in the face of real threats and coercion.

You are probably wondering why enslaved people feel they need to comply. You may also be connecting this compliance to the violence meted out on enslaved people.

Based on what I’ve read about historical and modern slavery I think this is a simplistic view of a complex situation. And you come to me because it’s hard to see that complexity without dropping sixty quid and three months on reading materials.

I don’t think violence is the whole picture in these scenarios. Focusing on the violence often means overlooking the systematic structural features which encourage enslaved people to comply.

Escape is made physically difficult, sometimes life threatening. Slaves are generally moved far away from their family home, cutting them off from social support. They’re actively prevented from contacting friends, family or people the slaver does not approve of.

They are repeatedly told that they can’t seek redress from any kind of authority figure. Historically even if there were laws supposed to ‘protect’ slaves courts systematically sided with slavers over the enslaved. Nowadays slaves are usually told that if they go to the police the police will just arrest them for immigration offences, or drug dealing, or prostitution.

This is often true.

Slavers work to cut off their victims from any form of outside support; be it material or emotional. They deliberately create an environment where slaves feel they can not leave without help while being cut off from any help.

Something I often see described in survivor accounts is a figure I call the ‘promoted slave’.

This is someone who says they started out at the same level the slaves did, they complied, they ‘worked hard’ and they were rewarded with wealth and a position of authority over the slaves. These people consistently present the idea that the slaves will be better off if they comply.

Finally slaves are put in a situation where escape would leave them in a state of deprivation. The slaver tries to make sure they don’t have money, an alternative place to go or anything they could practically use.

So successful escape could mean sleeping on the streets. It could mean starving. Or freezing. Or a dozen other deaths by deprivation. Slavers not only point this out but work to make it seem more likely then it actually is.

All of these factors are significant. They combine to manipulate a lot of victims into thinking the only sensible choice is compliance.

But they also don’t work on everybody and they don’t work forever. Some victims will still refuse from day one. Some victims will comply for years and then reach point where they feel the only thing left to do is actively resist.

There is no such thing as a certain way to ‘make’ everyone obey.

Which brings me to option two and ICURE.

ICURE is a set of techniques that can, over time, change a person’s attitudes, beliefs and behaviours. Again, these are not 100% effective. They are also a lot less likely to work if the victim is in any sort of pain.

Because inflicting pain encourages disobedience.

For ICURE to be effective the character would have to be removed from their usual social circle by the group of people attempting it. They would need to stay with this group of people for several years and the group would have to use ICURE consistently throughout that time.

It would also be more likely to work if the targetted character sees the members of this group as their friends, as kind, caring, trustworthy people.

ICURE stands for Isolate, Control information, create Uncertainty, use Repetition and Emotive arguments.

The first point should be pretty obvious. The character needs to be isolated from their previous social circle and support network. When people don’t receive any information from outside of the group the group eventually becomes their most trustworthy source. When they don’t have social contact outside the group they become reliant on the group for support.

Controlling information means that anything the character learns is first filtered through the larger group. It’s a form of censorship which means the character is only exposed to information that supports the group/ideas the group wants the character to have.

This is combined with creating uncertainty about beliefs the group wants the character to reject. Often this means only providing information that discredits their previous belief system (whether this information is correct or not). It can also mean extended discussions about ‘why x is wrong’.

Repetition is, what it says on the tin. It’s repeating this pattern of only giving the character information the group wants them to have, positive messages about the ideals the group wants to instil and negative messages about previous belief systems. Consistent repetition over a long period of time has an effect on our beliefs. Sometimes it even effects them when we know the information is wrong.

Emotive arguments means- well keeping any discussion away from logic. Something like- going from ‘well I’m not sure this idea about our belief system lines up with our holy text’ to the manipulative character asking why the target hates them/God/the entire church.

If this set of behaviours sounds like a cult or an emotional abusive relationship- well that’s because it pretty much is.

In a slavery scenario a character is generally complying because they think they’ll die if they don’t, and they don’t judge it to be worth dying over.

In ICURE characters obey the way someone might obey a teacher or a priest or a strict parent.

To be clear ICURE can not make a character like someone. It creates reliance, not attachment.

But if the attachment is there as well, if that builds up separately, then you end up with one of the strongest and most reliable motivations for a character to obey someone: they don’t want to let someone they care about down.

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#writing advice #tw torture #tw slavery #tw suicide #torture apologia #torture does not work #torture survivors are not broken #resistance to torture #resistance to slavery #ICURE #compliance under threat #torture and obedience

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 4 years

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y’know i think the whole reason that I hated using wordpress (who has now ironically bought this hellsite) in that first year of the comms & media course i began at uni.... was because it’s another social media platform, like twitter etc, where you had to make yourself open to the mortifying ordeal of being known.... and that it‘s also perceived as the “professional blogging website” bc it has competent coding etc.... and you’re also kinda forced to find your niche to pump out content to write.... so that you might get noticed by their “explore” feature/filter.

you also have to sound “professional” when you write on wordpress. wordpress makes it seem like you’re meant to be devoid of your personality for the sake churning out content and subscribers (or at least that’s what it felt like to me tbh).... and possibly eventually sell your services or have advertisers apply for ad space on your blog so that you get paid. and maybe you also sell merch through your blog/website. you have to have a professional sounding URL to sound adult and business-like. you have to have a pro profile pic of yourself or your blogs brand name or whatever the fuck as your display pic or header. it’s really built for you to make your blog a business or for a business to have a blog. it’s not built, in my view, for someone like me, to “authentically”, if you will let me permit to say, express who they are.

whereas on here, i’ve been anonymously posting under the same URL that i started with in my late teens/late high school. people think im just a simple mysterious roaring pikachu (until i post a selfie lmao); that likes mid2000s emo/pop punk etc bands and any random new tv show/movie/media and political posts that come up on her dash.... so that her blog isn’t focussed at all.

in terms of content here on tumblr, i can reblog any random old jackshit posts in a row and still get reblogs/follows; and it’s the same with my own original posts. im in my own little corner of the internet and it’s nice. im allowed to be myself. have my meltdowns and swear like a fucking sailor, like i’ve always done lmao. no professional jargon bullshit here. no language sanitisation to make it sound professional.

i don’t have to sell my hobby. i don’t have advertisers asking for ad space (or however it works lol) bc absolutely fucking no one has cracked the tumblr advertising code yet (except for those frickin scummy scam survey websites, lol. which i’d never join. or those ugly clothing websites as well). like, okay, yeah, obviously in the past i’ve wanted to get paid for wasting my time here on this hellsite; and have actually wanted to employ someone else to maintain my blog, by cleaning out my old blog posts and liked posts lmao..... but i’ll never do that bc it’s my fucking blog and it’s my baby that i’ve had since 2011 lmao. then it’s not authentic.

i can yeet out my internet personality here which i’ve built for almost 10 years (or at the point mentioned at the beginning of this post, it was 4 years) lmao. why the fuck should i/do i have to do that again on wordpress??? the effort and time is too much. i don’t have to have a brand name or even have a display pic on my dash that’s me. i could be hermione granger. spongebob. pikachu lmao. who the fuck cares??? it’s tumblr. like fuck, i don’t even fucking know what my branding would actually be for this fucking blog lmao 😂😂😂 let alone my WP one.

but the anonymity on tumblr is so freeing when every other social media platform forces you to have a profile that’s painfully open & public, even when you have good privacy controls on. like some of the things that i still haven’t done on facebook, for example, are adding a cover photo. and filling out the stupid “about me facts” or whatever the fuck section. as well as filling out my location/where i live. so, that everyone i know, can know everything about me. and those things? in this age of data hoarding and exploitation/selling for ad services??? fuck no. they already have enough of my data as it is. they don’t need any fucking more than what they already bloody well have.

anyway. just. i’ll never move to wordpress. and if wordpress ever starts to charge for the use of tumblr or takes away the feature of anonymity by telling people to make some type of professional sounding URLs and wanting professional display pics..... i will fucking leave this blue vortex hellsite, stat..... and will miss the former anonymity that tumblr had.

as an addendum:

i just realised that the only other kind of social media site that i used, that had the same level of anonymity as tumblr (if you don’t count neopets as one lmao), was stumbleupon.... which let you build a profile of all the random pages that it suggested to you on a certain topic that you picked.... and it eventually let you talk to people through your account and add people, and added profile suggestions for people who had similar interests to you. it’s such a shame that stumbleupon shut down about 2 years ago or something now. that was such a wonderful site, even though i never talked to people on it 😂😓.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona yaps about shit

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angeltriestoblog · 6 years

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Welcome to my first blog post as an 18 year-old! And yes, I am well aware that I can legally drink and could be sent to jail, thank you very much. (Not that I have any plans to, though.)

I reached this milestone in my life last July 5th. As I mentioned in an earlier entry, I decided to not go the traditional route and instead, opted for a trip to Korea last April and a week’s worth of festivities with family and friends.

I kicked off the celebration with lunch at a Korean barbecue place with my parents, then had a feast with my extended family (mother’s side) in Italianni’s.

I even got my cousin, Miguel, to go on with me on the ferris wheel nearby where I tried my best to admire the beautiful view of Manila Bay before us while screaming my head off.

For my actual birthday, I treated my closest friends from high school at yet another K-BBQ place for lunch, and then went to my favorite buffet place with my family for dinner. My friends Junelle, Danna and I also finally pushed through with our months-old plan of dropping by the karaoke bar relatively near to us, which served as a great release for pent-up emotions and a showcase of our non-existent vocal abilities.

This year, I also decided to go out on a limb and hold a project of my own. I was originally planning on giving away some of the old books I had piled up in my room to nearby orphanages, but with the time constraints I had, I couldn’t really afford to execute something so grand. So, with the help of my mom, I decided that it would be best to start small. We bought these tumblers from the nearby grocery and filled them to the brim with candies and chocolate bars, then gave them to the kids selling sampaguita at our church. I was really iffy about writing this part, because I know it’s easy to misconstrue my intentions for doing so: some people will probably just dismiss this as some put-on act of charity posted for clout. But, the experience was just so rewarding for me I had to. The children were all so appreciative, beaming at me, expressing their gratitude through belated birthday greetings and musings of how they could use my little gift for school – it kind of made me feel like my heart was on fire, but in the best way possible.

Anyway, now on to the standard realizations I make sure to include in nine out of ten posts.

This birthday in particular was a big deal for me, for obvious reasons. I had always regarded 18 as the age of independence and freedom: I equated it to having the liberty to do whatever I wanted, go anywhere I pleased with anyone at all, make the big decisions and know the answers to all the questions I’ve been asking my elders since I was a kid. I guess I forgot that I’m not the protagonist of the coming-of-age films I grew up indulging in, but a sheltered kid who has had most things done for her and thus has yet to acquire the basic life skills needed to survive The Real World. My parents said that I’m this way because they wanted to give me a life of convenience, and thus did anything that required me going out of my comfort zone, for me. All these years, I never found myself complaining about it or demanding that something be changed but for some reason, this stage of supposed adulthood has pressured me into thinking that there’s something terribly wrong with this because now, I have so much growing up to do.

Obviously, the biggest life change that I’ll have to deal with would be college: having to balance academics, extracurricular activities and different people in an entirely foreign environment sounded so terrifying for me. People would always tell me that grades have and could never be an issue for me: I was born the Smart Kid™ with a lot of potential, remember? I was generally a star student in all the schools I had attended, and everyone knew about it: I didn’t have to exert any effort to prove myself to those around me, because my grades did the talking. But, suddenly I’m about to enter this prestigious university with a rigorous screening process that takes in the Smart Kids™ from institutions all around the country. How am I expected to stand out in a place like that and get the Latin honors I can’t help but aim for?

Extracurriculars also have a huge bearing and apparently are an essential part of the whole college experience, which is weird to me since I’ve never really committed to a specific club all throughout my grade school and high school life. It seemed like more of a requirement to me than anything else, so deciding which one to join was like playing pin the tail on the donkey with my friends.

And, while I’m on that note: what about making new friends? I do appear to be outgoing and loud—especially if you’ve heard my piercing shrieks in my old Grade 12 classroom—but I’m only like that around those I’m truly comfortable with, and even that number has dwindled over the years. It’s hard to find people with the same interests as I do, and I’m growing more and more unsure of the fact that there are Ateneans who like K-Pop boy groups and laugh at the jeje memes I have in my camera roll. (I will cry if I don’t find anyone who can watch Japer Sniper videos with me.) I haven’t had to introduce myself to a new person in two years both IRL and online and I let them lead the conversation for a long while before I can think of warming up to them.

I also have to learn how to drive, which can come off as a surprise to anyone who’s known me for a while. I’ve always been the type to let go of the steering wheel and cover my eyes when the situation got out of control at the bumper cars. But, once I found out that ADMU isn’t actually the most commuter-friendly of schools, I didn’t really have a choice. On my first day of lessons, I was scared to my very core: my mind couldn’t stop bombarding me with stories of vehicular accidents and picture slideshows of cats that got run over. Although I did pass all four days and am now eligible to have my own license, I still have much work to do before I can take our Civic for a spin along Katipunan: please pray I learn how to parallel park without crashing into anything. I guess it would also be a bonus if I learned how to commute to and from places. I love going out, and I wish I always knew how to get to where I wanted to go and what mode of transportation to take instead of always relying on trikes and taxis all the time.

Since I’m of legal age, I’m also qualified to register to vote. I’ve started immersing myself in current events and politics a few years back, and I witnessed several people my age get shot down by adults when they did so much as express their opinions. “Masyado kang bata,” they’d argue. “Di nga kayo botante eh, wag na kayong makialam!” (But, the indifference of the youth would still be met with biting remarks like, “Wala na ba kayong ibang gagawin kundi mag-Internet? Magkaroon naman kayo ng pakialam sa nangyayari sa paligid!”) So now, I feel a certain kind of satisfaction in finally getting a say in who runs my country. But, at the same time, there’s also an intense kind of pressure since I am expected to discern which candidate serves the people’s best interests and hopefully lead us out of the downward spiral we’re currently making our way through.

It was only very recently—towards the start of the final month of my vacation—that I realized how stagnant I still was a person. Must be surprising for some of you. I feel like I somewhat project this image of being constantly put together. Very rarely do I let myself be vulnerable around other people. This is probably why every time I turn to someone to talk about my problems, I’m always met with reassurance: I, of all people, would have it under control, they say. I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

But, that’s the thing: when we’re on social media, we have this tendency to present only our best selves, turning our accounts into heavily filtered highlight reels. This is not only pretentious but toxic behavior, because of its failure to put things into perspective and show that everyone has their own fair share of both good and bad days. My Instagram feed may be its busy and color-coordinated self at the moment, but it doesn’t show the many nights I’ve spent crying because of how overwhelmed I was by this sudden surge in responsibilities and my inability to handle all of them. I mean, things can seem way beyond your control when your brain refuses to shut up and calm down.

I guess my failure to prepare for everything could be traced back to the beginning of this summer. In hindsight, the goals I had set for my four-month break were all very short-term and not exactly centered on self-improvement. I looked through the bullet journal I was keeping at the time, and found items like “clean my room”, “delete Facebook friends and Twitter followers I don’t interact with” and “buy a new study table” – one word for April 2018 Angel: why? I easily could have used the time to learn a new language or pledge to write 10 posts, maybe even pick up an instrument so I could have started a career as a Soundcloud artist and gotten myself a record deal instead of going to college (Mom, Dad, I’m kidding.) But for some reason, I didn’t even think of setting my standards that high. I spent a lot of time lying on my back, scrolling through the same old timelines several times a day as if the constant refreshing would bring anything of substance in my life.

It's much easier to let the regret paralyze me, to beat myself up for all the mistakes I’ve made and wonder why I didn’t do better. But, we all know that won’t help me get anywhere. As of now, I’m trying my best to be more vocal about my problems with other people so they don’t build up inside of me until I spontaneously combust. I admit I’m also quite the emotional person, so I really want to work on having a rational approach to whatever I’m going through.

I found this thread of healthy coping mechanisms and emergency plans to use during times of distress floating around. In case you guys are too lazy to click on the link, it basically says that you should first identify the trigger thought or whatever is sparking the negative emotions, identify the unhelpful thinking style that you are subscribing to and counter them through coping thoughts and actions to bring your mood back to the center. Twitter user thecolor_teal also says that one important thing to note is that you should never believe in your thoughts without critiquing them.

I’ve been doubling down on the worrying and channeling all that energy on pursuing other interests and planning my life out. I’m on my fifth book in the span of two weeks (I have a post coming up on this, so watch out!) and I just hit the 2k word mark on this post, so I can pretty much say I’m on a roll. I also came up with three main goals that I want to prioritize as I venture into this new chapter of my life. I read somewhere that publicizing whatever you want to work on, jinxes them in a way but since there’s no scientific evidence to back it up, I’m taking the risk. It could serve as a constant reminder of what I have to do, or pressure me into following through because I’ve put it up here to everyone to see: either way, I win, I guess.

1. Be more involved – maintain a firm stance of my own in issues concerning the country, give back to my community, continue to take genuine interest in the lives of those around me and do whatever I can to help them

2. Be more sociable – judge people less; get to know and interact with people from as many different social circles as possible; learn how to make the first move, engage in small talk (!!!) and not end the conversation with an awkward laugh

3. Be more street smart – be confident when on my own in public places, distinguish when I’m being fooled by people, learn how to get out of sticky situations without having to ask for help

I don’t exactly have everything down pat yet but at this point, it’s become somewhat comforting for me to think that I’m not expected to, and that no one my age knows exactly what they’re doing. We’re all clueless kids with no idea what the future holds and if we’re truly capable of handling it – we’re all hanging on to our empty attempts at reassuring ourselves. Anyone who denies this is probably just trying to make themselves feel better and I’d like you lot to know that we see through you! Despite the sheer hopelessness of our situations, I hope you all make amends with your right to not know whatever the heck you’re doing with your life right now and learn to trust the process. You’ve probably been through worse in the past, but here you are: beaten and bruised and still dusting yourself off from the last time life let you down but still alive and valid and fighting and that’s all that matters. We got this, fellow adult-er. And that is not to be mistaken for adulterer, by the way. That’s not something we should strive to be.

#personal #very very VERY personal #adulting #angeltriestoblog #eighteenth birthday #it's 1am i have no idea what these tags are sorr

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positivepsychologyinterventions · 5 years

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My Local Town Facebook Groups are a Hot Mess

Back in the 1990s when I first got my start publishing mental health resources, it was my firm belief that the internet was a wonder that could help anyone who had access to it. I was a true believer, and it was my job to help convert not only my profession, but everyone I met.

In the 2000s, when social networking sites began to take hold, I again held out hope and expressed optimism. “Such services allow us to better keep in touch with our loved ones.”

Over the past few years, however, my optimism and faith in the internet to help bring us all closer together is beginning to slip. Seriously slip. And what is bringing me down most of all are the Facebook groups I subscribe to for each of the little local towns I live by.

Facebook is no stranger to controversy and hot water. It’s always had a very lax relationship with personal privacy, and has a history and track record that, in my mind, clearly demonstrate they don’t give a shit about you personally. I, like most people, understand that point yet still continue to use the service.

The Intent of Facebook Groups

Facebook Groups were meant to help expand the social networking giant’s reach into our lives. Introduced in 2010, they were originally intended to help friends create new social groups focused around shared interests or locales. Since that time, millions of new Groups have been created for every hobby, health condition, and town in the world. In fact, some towns around me have more than one Group devoted to them, so that residents can share local gossip and talk about local happenings and interests.

It sounds great. At the time of their introduction I thought, “What better way to enhance the feelings of connectedness with the people who live in the same town than to provide them a nice, easy-to-use platform on a service that most people already have an account with anyway?”

People will share town happenings, get excited for an upcoming art show or event, and talk about memories of the town they grew up in. If some elderly citizen’s driveway needs a quick shovel, we’d all pitch in to ensure it got done. And when that new restaurant or gift shop opens up downtown, we’d all rally around to show our support. Just found a sale going on in your favorite store, you’d share it. The local coffeeshop is selling pastries at half off, you’d post it.

Those were my perhaps unrealistic expectations when I joined my first town group.

The Reality of Facebook Groups

The reality, however, is far different.

At first, I thought that what I was seeing must’ve been an anomaly after subscribing to two different town groups. So I did what my scientist brain always tells me to do — increase the sample size.

So over the past two years, I’ve subscribed off and on to over a dozen different town groups in my region. I saw the same behavior on all of them, to varying degrees. In fact, the behavior I observed is so common across town groups, enterprising souls have made up “town bingo” cards that you can play along with, waiting for people to talk and complain about the exact same things on a regular basis.

One of the towns (more of a small city) loves to talk about police sirens in a certain bad section of town. “What are the cops doing there, anybody know?” “I hope they’re arresting those dealers down on the corner finally!” Which is exactly what I would expect of a town group. Except this conversation repeats itself nearly every week. It’s like we’re living in our own version of the movie Groundhog Day. More grimly, perhaps the drug/crime problem is really that bad — a unique warning sign to the town’s mayor.

The color of the town’s water is a big deal in many of these groups, too. It’s no wonder, since all of the towns reside along the Merrimack River, one of the most polluted rivers in New England due to cities being allowed to dump overflow sewage into it when it rains a bit too much. It also doesn’t help that many of the towns around here date from the 1700 and 1800s, with sewer and water systems that are none too young either.

Helicopter flying overhead or a plane that seems to be flying too low? Facebook Groups has got you covered! Someone will inevitably remind us that technology is in our skies, as though helicopters and planes were invented just yesterday. The fact that there is daily business being carried out in our skies that ordinary citizens generally don’t know, much less care about, seems to be a true wonder to some people.

Oh no, a new business wants to open in our historic little town! Somebody wants to build a new building? Instead of welcoming new businesses and industry, most of these town group’s members seem intent on keeping all change away. Not understanding that change is what makes diversity and growth possible (the opposite of stagnation and decline), too many of these citizens see any change to their town as a negative. Nearly always, these conversations start with, “How can we stop so-and-so from coming here?”

You wouldn’t live in New England if you didn’t have a post at least once a week noting some sort of wildlife the person saw. “I just saw a coyote, watch out, be safe, and keep your pets indoors!” It’s as if people don’t realize that most people aren’t using Facebook as a real-time social alert system any more. (And if you are, shame on you! Turn off all Facebook notifications that aren’t private messages to you. Whatever that’s going on on Facebook is not more important than what’s going on in your real life right now in front of you.)

No Way to Fix Facebook Groups for Towns

I’ve spent some time thinking about this issue and whether there’s some way to reinforce or encourage more positive behavior in Facebook groups for towns.

I’m not sure that it’s possible. Sometimes the loudest people are the ones who have the least interesting thing to say. There’s virtually no policy or guideline you could implement, even if you were an admin of one of these groups, that wouldn’t be heavy-handed and impossible to enforce.

Complaining, for better or worse, is a natural part of the human condition. It’s one of the things that brings us together. I’m just not sure it draws us closer to one another in any meaningful way, because its based in negativity.

In short, people will complain and talk about whatever is on their mind. Some people have no filter, and Facebook groups is simply a reflection of that reality. Most of us probably didn’t realize our town was full of such a diverse group of individuals until Groups made that clear. We have to take the good along with the bad, since that’s what makes a group of people potentially interesting.

The never-ending negativity, however, is grating. And since my little observational study has ended, I’m going to remove myself from some of the most negative of these groups. I’ll stay in the ones where beautiful photos of the town and surrounding views are regularly shared, and steel myself against the weekly complaints of “over development” whenever someone proposes a new business or building in town.

The intent of Facebook Groups was good. But when it comes to towns, perhaps we see a little more of our fellow citizens than we had expected.

from World of Psychology http://bit.ly/2DfkUWV via IFTTT

#IFTTT #World of Psychology

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psychotherapyconsultants · 5 years

Text

My Local Town Facebook Groups are a Hot Mess

In the 2000s, when social networking sites began to take hold, I again held out hope and expressed optimism. “Such services allow us to better keep in touch with our loved ones.”

The Intent of Facebook Groups

Those were my perhaps unrealistic expectations when I joined my first town group.

The Reality of Facebook Groups

The reality, however, is far different.

No Way to Fix Facebook Groups for Towns

I’ve spent some time thinking about this issue and whether there’s some way to reinforce or encourage more positive behavior in Facebook groups for towns.

The intent of Facebook Groups was good. But when it comes to towns, perhaps we see a little more of our fellow citizens than we had expected.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/my-local-town-facebook-groups-are-a-hot-mess/

#World of Psychology

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