#Anyway I love french songs a lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seeingivy · 2 months

Text

tolerate it

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

previous part linked here

song: (is obviously) tolerate it by taylor swift. minor you are in love by taylor swift mention.

You can’t help but stare at Jean and Mikasa the following morning. The honey sweet smiles, the fact that they share a cup of coffee instead of getting their own – just to end up drinking two cups anyways – and the warm kisses on each other's cheeks.

They’re in love.

The slip of paper sits heavy in your pocket, a metallic taste in your mouth from the blood you drew from biting down on your cheek. The ring on her finger glimmers in the light.

Colt’s at your side, a soft hand on your shoulder, as he nearly breaks you out of your trance.

“Hey. You good?” he asks.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Why’d you ask?” you mumble.

You drive your fork straight into the french toast as a distraction, but too hard that it squeaks against the ceramic of the plate and makes them all flinch in response. Jean and Mikasa turn their heads to you, and you shoot them all an apologetic smile before everyone turns back to their own conversations. And Jean distractedly tucks a stray hair behind Mikasa’s ear, before lacing his fingers with hers.

“Y/N. You’re sure? You’re kind of….”

“Kind of what?”

Colt sighs, the corners of his mouth twitching before he speaks.

“You just kind of had that blank stare in your eyes. Just wanted to know if you wanted to talk about anything.”

You pause, putting your hand on his shoulder this time. The guilt sits heavy in your stomach – the never ending worry you’ve seemed to sow in both of your brothers was almost embarrassing.

“It’s not that, Colt. I didn’t mean to freak you out. I just…it’s just about Jean and Mikasa. But…but if I needed you, I would tell you. And-and I know that sometimes I kind of scared you but I-”

Colt breaks a smile, bringing his hands up to squish your cheeks hard, before he starts aggressively rattling your head.

That’s the thing about him. He’d never let you feel bad about it. About him taking care of you – because according to him, it was always his job. You hate that you rely on it so much.

“Only thing scary about you is your bedhead. Or your attitude. Or that god awful-” Colt states.

“Okay, Jesus. You’re laying it on a little thick there.” you respond, trailing your voice.

“I’m glad you’re okay. And that your…your…Eren stuff is mostly resolved?”

You smile. Colt and Levi have one thing in common – that they’ll always be a little bit disapproving of your relationship with Eren (whatever that is) just on principle.

“Kind of.”

Colt squints.

“Well, he actually showed me the documentary after you came back from Seattle. He kind of…told me all that stuff when I asked a while back and it didn’t necessarily make sense. But watching the video, I…kind of feel bad for the guy.” Colt murmurs.

“Me too.” you respond.

The two of you look over at him, at the quiet conversation that he and Armin are having, soft smiles on both of their faces. And then watch those turn into devious grins as Armin digs his fingers into his glass for an ice cube – and then consequently watch Eren slip the ice down Reiner’s shirt.

“You still like him? He just shoved an ice cube down someone's shirt and thought it was funny.” Colt asks.

You frown.

“It is funny. And I’m kind of…putting that on the back burner.”

“Why?”

“I feel like I need everything else to be finished, the book needs to be shut before we….do anything again. I want to say my piece – have the documentary out, do my stupid triple threat performance – before I can even consider anything with him. If…”

Your throat is heavy.

“If I want anything with him again, I’ll have to do it right. I-I have to move carefully with everything from here because…a lot is riding on this. And if I’m not a hundred percent sure yet, I don’t want to push. He deserves better than that.”

Colt smiles, a rare kiss pressed to the top of your head before he stands up. You shoot him a grateful smile before turning back to Jean and Mikasa, watching her balance both of their plates before she leaves to put them in the sink.

“Jean?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you filming today?” you ask.

“Nope. What’s up?”

You pull the piece of paper out and hold it out to him. He reads it over, quickly recognizing it’s his, before he closes it in his fist. The look he gives you is soft, a quiet glance to Mikasa before he looks back at you.

“I’m all yours for today, princess.” he responds.

When everyone leaves for set, you and Jean find yourselves lying flat on the carpet in your room, quietly staring at the popcorn ceiling. His hands are up, holding the little slip of paper above both of your faces, an empty page open at your side, and you’re both uncharacteristically quiet.

It’s almost strange. Trying to broach something so…sensitive with Jean.

Because it’s not that you aren’t friends, but you were never friends like this. It’s like you two knew where loyalties lied. That Jean was Eren’s best friend, that you were Mikasa’s – and if it came to it, you would side with your person. That you had expectations for each other, that you held each other to a higher standard because of it.

To be careful with the person you trusted them with. That Jean could never hurt Mikasa. That you couldn’t do the same to Eren.

You didn’t hold up to your end of the deal.

“Mikasa’s going to ask you to be her maid of honor again soon.” Jean murmurs, voice so quiet you barely hear it.

You give him a quiet nod.

“We’ve got a whole scheme going. Trying to make Amy quit on her own accord so it isn't family drama. It’s fun to kind of mess with her. And the second she’s gone, Mikasa’s going to ask you to do it again.”

You can’t muster a response. You can’t even think about being Mikasa’s maid of honor.

Because why are Jean and Mikasa getting married if Mikasa doesn’t love him half as much as he loves her? If he thinks that she doesn’t?

“I do hope for my future wife’s sake that your silence means you’re going to say yes. Would hate to see you ruin our wedding.” Jean states, a joking tone in his voice.

You crack.

“I’ll say yes. I’m not crazy.” you state .

Jean smiles.

“You could have fooled me.”

You elbow him hard in the side, as you watch the fan spin around.

“You’re a dick.” you state.

“You’re going to have to get me a gift you know? I’d watch your mouth if I were you.”

“Why would I buy you a gift at my best friend's wedding?” you ask.

“Mika’s idea. We’re sharing our lives together. Including, sharing friends. So instead of you guys getting us gifts, Eren’s going to get something for Mikasa and you’re going to get something for me.” Jean states.

“We’ve always been friends. You guys were always there for me.” you state.

“I know that. But, my friendship with you was exclusive to the fact that you were my my girlfriend's best friend. We aren’t really close and I think we both know that. And Eren and Mikasa are close now, have been for some time, and…and you and I can be too. We’ve got something that brings us together.”

You sit up, leaning against the back of the bed, as you dig your feet into the carpet. It makes sense. Jean was always there at your side, and you always felt close with him, but it was almost like you knew that you could never go further than that.

He was Eren’s friend. So in that type of way, he couldn’t be yours.

“What’s that?”

“Eren. No one we love more than him, right?”

You smile.

“You love Eren more than your future wife?”

He rolls his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up. You know what I meant. And we love Mikasa that way too.”

“Not sure I did…I fear I’ll have to tell her, just on a best friend principle type of thing.”

Jean shoves you, elbow straight to the side that makes you laugh.

“Weirdly enough, Eren and Mikasa started getting along when they talked about me. And they always talk about how nice it is, to talk about me with each other because they get it or whatever.”

You scrunch your nose.

“They’re so weird.”

“Tell me about it. The first time they hung out without me I was almost offended. Like what the fuck did you even talk about? And they were like you, Jean. Like I was supposed to be flattered or something.”

You laugh.

“Oh, god.”

“Thought it was dumb. Then…then Mikasa and I started having our problems. And them being friends…it did a lot for us. Eren talked to her when she didn’t have anyone to talk to about that type of thing, someone who understood what I was like…what it was like to be close with me…sometimes I think it saved our relationship.”

You pause, taking the little slip from his fingers, before you read it again.

you love someone with your entire being and all they do is tolerate it

“Jean. What happened?” you whisper.

Jean smiles, as you lean your head on his shoulder and loop your hand through his arm. He welcomes the touch, slouching back as you both swing your legs out in front of you.

“You only fall in love with three people in your lifetime. I just happened to do it all with the same person.” Jean murmurs.

You’ve heard this before. A dumb thing you’ve heard parroted around - the puppy love, the one that hurts you, and the one that’s just right.

“The first one is the one that looks right. It’s…it’s idealistic. You’re fifteen – you’re on the set, confined into this little bubble, and you think that you’re the first person to figure love out and other people are stupid for not getting it right.. That no one has ever felt the way you have, that you’re the first people to ever love and you’ll be the last ones too. That’s how Mikasa and I were at the beginning. We liked how we made each other feel more than we really liked each other.” Jean states.

“Isn’t that what love…kind of is? Someone who brings out the best in you? Pushes you to do things that make you nervous, support you behind your back?”

Like sending a demo of your first song to the Institute so that you could perform it. Like climbing onto the stage and playing the piano when your original pianist couldn’t. Like writing to the Institute behind your back just to make sure your dream would come true – being so firmly resolute in the fact that you were brilliant that he’d write hopeless letters just to convince them.

Eren.

“I liked Mikasa, from the start. I wanted her so badly that…that when we started dating, I was more happy by the fact that I was dating her. That I got to say that. Not that we were…actually together. And Mikasa, she liked the fact that I would fawn over her. That I basically worshiped the ground she walked on. And I’m not…putting words in her mouth. She’d tell you the same thing.”

“Okay. Keep going.” you nudge.

“The second love is the hard one. That teaches you a lesson about what love really is. And it all boiled down to a simple fact. That Mikasa and I loved each other in different ways.”

“You don’t love her more than she loves you, Jean. She-she adores you.” you murmur.

Jean smiles, glassy tears wavering in your eyes.

“Don’t cry. We are still getting married, you know? And we’re pretty over the fucking moon about it.”

“Then why would you give me that?”

“It was Mikasa’s idea. She wanted you to write that song with me. This is what we did with Eren when we were writing songs with him. Gave him things to think about. Maybe thinking about other people will give you more insight on yourself. Help you piece things together, because you rarely have experiences that are unique to you. And it's a nice bonus to have friends who basically write the soundtrack to your life.”

You sniffle, glaring at him through your watery eyes.

“Of course you made this about Eren.”

“Do you blame me? He wrote a really good song about us. Figured you could do the same.” he asks.

You sigh, barely pushing the air through that heavy block in your chest.

“What did he call it?”

“You Are In Love.” he states.

You hum in response as Jean gives you a smile, before leaning his head against yours.

“Mikasa and I loved each other in different ways. She could be trying her absolute hardest, doing everything she could, and it would never work for me.” Jean states.

“What do you mean?”

“The problems from before bled in. We were too comfortable in what we had, that we wouldn’t leave each other, that it became too easy. That she could pull away and I’d still be there. And part of the problem is me – that Mikasa did no wrong in my mind. I was…enamored by her. Almost like I was lucky to even be dating her, that..that she’d leave if I did something wrong.”

You frown.

“I’d walk into the room and we wouldn’t have seen each other in weeks. She couldn’t even be bothered to look at me. I…I never got to see her because of work so I’d fly out to her. Just for her to be dead asleep. And it would make me happy, that I sacrificed my entire sleep schedule just to watch her breathe with her eyes closed. That it was enough for me.”

You can’t help but think of Eren’s birthday – that you were tired from touring and that you had slept through the entire thing. That he wouldn’t even wake you up, that he’d never break what you wanted for what he needed.

“Jean.”

“I’d go all out for her birthday. Throw her a surprise party, have Vanity Fair film the entire process. And the small things she’d give me – calling me a pet name once in a while, giving me a kiss on the cheek. It’s almost like I was working based on a reward system. That if I was good, if I worked hard enough, she would love me.”

You can feel the tears falling down your eyes, choking back that sound in the back of your throat from coming out.

“I’d buy all this…fancy shit for her. Nice dinner sets, the most…expensive couches and stuff. And sometimes when I did, it…it was almost like she’d find it annoying. I would be doing interviewers gushing about her, just for her to come home and say that it was too much. It’s like I was a nuisance. Like all I did was create problems with her.”

Jean pulls out his wallet, before handing you a picture. It’s a polaroid of the two of them smiling.

“That was the day we got engaged. The second time.”

“What?”

“I broke up with her.”

You pinch your lips into a flat line.

“I was sitting there. Watching her, like I always did. And she still wouldn’t even fucking look at me. And I was thinking so hard…why was she my whole world? My literal fucking sky? She doesn’t even give a fuck about me. So I left.”

“For how long?”

“We didn’t get back together until four months after. But…but it wasn’t a break. Didn’t even last a day actually without seeing each other.” Jean states.

You smile.

“Didn’t last very long there, Jean.”

He rolls his eyes.

“She came back to me, dipshit.”

Jean takes the picture back, a fond smile on his face.

“The third love is the one that you never see coming. It keeps knocking on your door until you're ready to answer. And if you’re Mikasa, you wait three whole months for me to come around. Ready to prove it that you’ll work to do it right. And never let me forget it either.” Jean murmurs.

“Really?”

“That’s right. The time apart gave us time to think. I needed that – but she didn’t. She was at my door almost everyday. Sometimes she would sit out there and just talk – and I’d listen. She was being earnest – that she wanted to love me, that she knows she did wrong. And when I let her in, the conversation we had, it was like I was seeing Mikasa, the person, for the first time. That was the person I loved. I wasn’t looking at her as some like…dream girl and I didn’t think she was some goddess doing me a favor either. She was just Mikasa. I proposed right there and it was better than the first time. Not in the idealistic, fifteen year old way. Not in the nineteen year old, all consuming way. Loving her this time around was weightless. And I knew that it was right.”

You smile.

“It’s not as romantic. That we’ve loved each other since fifteen and we’ve never wavered. But…I’d argue that it’s better. Mikasa and I aren’t childhood sweethearts because we’re soulmates. We’re childhood sweethearts because we fought for each other. There’s no fate, there’s no luck, in fact the quite opposite – the love lies in the fact that we won’t let each other go.”

He takes your hands, tears nearly collecting in his waterline.

“Y/N. Mikasa loves me. I love her. There’s not a day that she doesn’t prove it to me now. There’s not a day that I can’t even spend without her because she’s the love of my life.”

You smile, cupping his cheek with your hand. And you get it - that he’s right. That it’s not romantic, but it almost is. Jean and Mikasa fight hellish odds just to end up together. That fate could try its best and never get to them.

That you and Eren being friends, that being together, is a testament to your love. That he fought his way back to you and you were intent on fighting your way back to him.

“That’s nothing short of what you deserve.” you whisper.

It’s enough to make him cry.

“Thank you.”

Jean smiles. It’s the first time that you notice that Jean’s attractive. That Jean’s someone that you really love. That he’s going to be Mikasa’s husband, that he’s going to be Eren’s best friend, that he’s going to be around forever. That he’s earnest, that he loves hard, that you’re going to stand at his side when he gets married.

And that you’re going to give him his dream wedding if it’s the last thing you do.

“Are you getting the drift of why Mika and I wanted you to write this song?” Jean asks.

“I’m not a fucking idiot, Jean.”

“Do you believe it?”

You swallow hard.

“If Eren and I can get back to that, when-when I’ve put everything else to rest, then yes. Yeah, we…we’d be the same. That we fought odds to be together.”

“I’m glad your mind isn’t closed to it. That you’re open to the idea of you and him again. S’always something I’ve appreciated about you.”

You smile.

“We aren’t there yet, Jean.”

“I know. But when it comes to it, I can tell you will be. He’s been my person since I was a kid, but you’re my friend too. I’ve got a personal stake in your relationship now.”

You can’t help but beam at him. And in your newfound friendship, Jean divulges everything that Eren’s hiding from you. And you both agonize over the fact that Eren’s so painfully stupid – that he always hides his great gestures of love, moves in silence behind your backs to love you.

You gather everyone around later that day, with Jean seated at the piano at your side. You shoot him a thumbs up as they all sit criss crossed around the piano, excited smiles on their faces. Falco and Gabi doing their secret handshake, Hange and Levi sharing a chair - it makes you smile.

“Are we ready?” you ask.

They all give you a nod, as Eren and Mikasa sit next to each other, whispering in each other’s ears. Jean did as you promised – warned Mikasa beforehand that it was this song – and she all but gave a golden stamp of approval, contingent on the fact that Eren sat with her while the two of you performed it together. And you give the two of them a nod before you take the little slip in your hands.

“The request is you love someone with your entire being and all they do is tolerate it. And it’s from Jean.” you state.

The group of them all give affirmative hums, before you take a seat next to Jean at the piano.

Eren’s stupid songwriting exercise – it was something that he had planned for you, on purpose. That it meant more for you than for any of them – that all of the requests are intended to be of this nature, something personal for you to work with.

Eren asked them to help you in whatever way they thought you needed.

For Jean, and Mikasa by extension, it was that they thought you needed living proof; that you could weather the storm and still be together. That you could come out stronger because of it.

And it’s also why Jean got mad at Connie in retrospect – and Reiner too apparently – who gave more tame requests. But in their humble defenses, Jean said that they gave those so that you wouldn’t get emotional whiplash.

They thought you needed someone to give you the ease amidst the storm.

You love all of them. Painfully so.

Jean starts with the tiny piano composition he prepared, before you sing the song.

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid Use my best colors for your portrait Lay the table with the fancy shit And watch you tolerate it

If it's all in my head, tell me now Tell me I've got it wrong somehow I know my love should be celebrated But you tolerate it

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life Drawing hearts in the byline Always taking up too much space or time You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I Break free and leave us in ruins Took this dagger in me and removed it Gain the weight of you, then lose it

If it's all in my head, tell me now Tell me I've got it wrong somehow I know my love should be celebrated But you tolerate it

I sit and watch you

Mikasa and Eren are the first ones to crush you and Jean in a hug. And when you lock eyes with Mikasa, you can’t be more than happy to be attending their wedding – in whatever way they’ll have you.

“On a scale of one to ten, how pissed will you be if Connie gets drunk before the reception?” Eren asks.

He’s shuffling through the itinerary, per Jean’s request, and the mix of an open bar and a Connie tasked with literally nothing to do in the two hour waiting period is a mess waiting to happen.

“You should give him something to do. Something stupid like getting flowers that he can’t mess up.” Eren adds, before stacking all the papers together.

“Knowing Connie, those flowers wouldn’t even make it out of the parking lot.”

Eren looks up to find Armin standing at his door, an awkward smile on his face, as he gives him a little wave. The camera that he gifted him – or left on his desk with a sticky note when he was filming without a word being spoken – is hanging around his neck as he pads into the room.

“Fuck, my bad. I thought you were Jean.”

“I figured as much. We both know that I’m smart enough to not overlook something like that.”

Eren smiles. Armin takes a seat on the bed across from Eren, retreating his legs back into position as he fumbles with the camera in his hands. He can tell that Eren’s on edge – that Eren always feels around him that way – and all he can do is try to muster his best smile.

“Remember the Met Gala where Jean and Mikasa got super drunk?”

“God. Don’t remind me. I’m genuinely concerned that they’re both going to get alcohol poisoning at their bachelor and bachelorette parties.”

“God. I wouldn’t even drink if I were you.” Armin states.

“I’m like a thousand percent sure that Y/N and I will be on sober duty.”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah. Jean and Mikasa are so insufferable that they’re doing a combined bachelor and bachelorette. But it was my idea. They just get so clingy when they’re drunk that I just decided we should combine the party beforehand instead of trying to coordinate it when everyone’s already too drunk to function.”

Armin smiles.

“Taking your best man duties very seriously. It’s going to be great.” Armin affirms.

“The anxiety helps. I’m already stuck thinking about like every worst case scenario, but now I can create contingency plans for anything bad that happens. Like if Mikasa somehow ends up in Mexico, I know that Southwest will get here the fastest on the day of the wedding.” Eren murmurs.

There’s an awkward silence. Eren said too much. And his chronic case of foot in mouth syndrome, especially when it came to fucking Armin, has him reeling. Eren’s positive that he’ll spend six hours ruminating about it tonight. Eren can see Armin fidgeting with the camera, running his fingers on the notches at the top.

“If the camera’s broken, Y/N was the one who bought it.” Eren states.

Armin laughs, the smile lines appearing around his eyes, and Eren relishes in it.

“It’s not broken.” Armin states.

“Okay, then it was me. She didn’t do anything.” Eren states.

“Noted. It’s a…it’s a nice camera. The old one, the film got stuck sometimes. Strap got kind of worn out after all of these years so it was..it is nice to have a new one. Thank you, Eren.”

Eren smiles, scratching the nape of his neck, as he feels his throat bob.

“Nothing to thank me for. It’s the least I could do.”

It’s quiet. Eren doesn’t know what to talk about. Should he ask about Annie? Or how filming has been? Or maybe he should just shut up before he embarrasses himself for a second time?

“How’s Y/N?” Armin asks.

Eren deflates. Thank god he bit the bullet first.

“Good. We’re good.”

“Are you guys…?”

Eren smiles.

“Everyone seems to be asking that.”

“In the overbearing way?”

“No, not really. You’d think that, but…it seems like a natural question for you guys to ask. She doesn’t seem to mind it either. But, I don’t know. We’re good. I’m glad she’s back. And…and Colt thinks she’s doing good too, so.” Eren states, leaning back against the headboard.

Armin seems to follow suit, the two of them awkwardly eyeing almost everything else in the room but each other. The books on the shelf, the pictures on the wall – literally anything except for that giant elephant in the room that neither of them want to touch.

“Are you going to try and date her again?” Armin asks.

“Not unless she asks me first.”

“Makes sense. Ball is kind of in her court with the documentary and all that.”

Eren’s throat feels dry.

“Oh. Did you watch it?”

Eren had offered it to him the second it was done. Because some people were more easily swayed, more quick to turn to his side when he was finally ready to ask for help – Levi, Hange, and Jean. But other’s needed to be convinced, needed to see it as it was to actually understand it – Mikasa, Historia (before she was in it), and Colt.

Eren knew that Armin would be in the latter. But when he had offered, Armin opted to break the disk in half instead.

Eren figures it was what he deserved.

“Yeah. Y/N. She gave it to me when she got back. Told me that she would never talk to me again if I didn’t watch it.”

Eren laughs.

“She would talk to you. She’s just being dramatic.”

“Well, she spent an entire two years ignoring all of us. So I wouldn’t exactly put it past her.” Armin states.

“That’s very true. But really, I feel like she was kind of using that to her advantage. She wouldn’t do it again.”

“To your advantage. Though I suppose for you two, your wants have always been the same.” Armin adds.

Eren eyes the picture on the wall – of Lana, Connie, Sukuna, him, and Teddy all swamped around Connie’s little cake – as he looks back at Armin.

“I’m sorry for breaking the CD when you gave it to me. I should have watched it the second you offered.” Armin states.

“That’s okay, Armin. I probably would have done the same thing in your position.” Eren states.

“No, you wouldn’t have. You…you were always better than me, than all of us, in that sense. Always really quick to forgive. I know it’s…it’s because you expected little from people after what happened with Zeke, but…we should have given it to you. Should have done more.”

Eren fights the urge to scoff. The premise of the statement is ridiculous to him. Those type of rules don't apply to him. And as perceptive as Armin is, he knows that’s exactly what Eren is thinking.

“We’re serious. There’s…there’s a lot of people you didn't have to forgive. And…and some of us didn’t even ask and you did it anyway.”

“I know your intentions. I broke your fucking camera, you had every right to do-”

Armin’s almost exasperated.

“You know how you were quick to forgive Y/N, for not talking to any of us when all of that stuff happened with her music and all that?”

“Yeah.”

“Why’d you do that?” Armin asks.

“Well, she had a lot going on. I’m just thankful that she came back to us eventually. And…and it’s already hard to hold anything against her, she…she always does the right thing. But that specifically. I can’t hold it against her if other things are going on.” Eren states.

Armin nods.

“That’s what I mean. You’ve always thought about everything like that. Given grace where it deserved. I’ve never had a shred of that in me. You…you did what you did and I didn’t even think twice about what it had meant. I mean hell, even Y/N had a little bit of an inkling that something else had to have happened. I just fully believed it. And even when you tried to tell me, I still didn’t consider that you could have been going through something else. Not until she came to me and advocated on your behalf.”

Eren smiles, putting a hand on Armin’s shoulder. He makes a mental note to thank you later. You prove time and time again that you’re far too good for him.

“That’s not your fault for believing it. I’m just a really good actor.” Eren teases.

Armin rolls his eyes, shoving him lightly to the side.

“Oh, fuck off. I’m fighting the urge to strangle you right now. And how’d you even come up with that bullshit anyways.?” Armin asks, referring to what Eren had said to you back in Seattle.

Eren grins.

“You have to promise you won’t tell Y/N.”

“What? You haven’t told her?”

“No, no. She knows everything but I refuse to tell her this part because she’s going to gouge my eyes out.”

Armin tilts his head to the side, confused.

“Do you remember when we were at the birthday dinner and Vinh kept asking her if she was dating Sukuna? Going on about how you can’t fake chemistry like that?” Eren asks.

Armin’s perceptive.

“Holy shit. You got the idea from her.”

Eren nods.

“That’s right. Her whole ‘I’m an actor, this is part of my job’ defense was like the first thing that came to mind when I knew I had to send her away. And that’s just what came out of me at that moment.”

“Good move on your part. I wouldn’t tell her that either.”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“It’ll be short lived. I’m sure Sukuna will tell her the first chance he gets.” Eren adds.

The two of them marinate in the silence, the weight of the conversation sitting with them. It seems pretty lackluster to an outsider – that if you were there you would have forced them to hug it out – but they were hardly the type to communicate with their words in the first place, the meaning was all the same.

They had made up.

“You have to give credit to Y/N. Your girl is trying to ride as hard for you as you did for her.”

Eren frowns.

“What do you mean? Because she got you to watch it?”

“Yeah. That. but also the award show thing? I’d be scared shitless if I was Scott Clarkson. Whenever she talks about it, it kind of freaks me the fuck out how much she doesn’t seem to care about what people think. Though in hindsight, that was always kind of her thing.”

“What awards show thing?” Eren asks.

Armin pales.

“She didn’t tell you?” Armin asks.

“No.”

Armin shakes his head.

“All in good time.”

Armin pushes off the bed, giving him a quick look over the shoulder, before consequently flashing the light of the camera in his face. Eren sees the polaroid front and center – his eyes pinched shut in shock – on the wall the following morning. And the caption makes him smile.

eren jaeger redemption arc. circa 2024.

“Have something for you two.” Levi states, slamming a manila envelope right in between you and Eren – startling you both from what you were doing.

Eren was playing a very aggressive game of Cup Pong with Lana on iMessage, claiming that the two of them have been playing for the past three years, nonstop. And you were busy finishing up Gabi’s request that you had pulled out of the little bowl this morning, so excited to play it for them tonight.

write about the bestest of friendships!!!! like so good that you can’t even stay away from each other bc of how fun it is to be together.

Recruiting Falco to sing one of the verses with you later – because you were almost positive that this request was about him – felt like cheating, but your humble gamemaster Eren approved it.

“Jesus, Levi. What the fuck do you have against the postman? He make a comment about how short you are or something?” you ask, flipping over the little envelope in your hands.

“Look at the sender.” Levi seethes.

You look over at Eren, as the two of you catch sight of the little name of the corner, almost positive that your eye was twitching now.

Scott Clarkson, Stone Studios, 15th Street, New York City

It’s addressed to both you and Eren.

“What the fuck?” you seethe.

Eren takes the envelope from your hands, nimble fingers sliding open the little seal, and a magazine falls out. Eren takes it into his hands, nearly groaning, before picking up his phone and shooting a quick text.

It’s a picture of Scott Clarkson – sitting on a literal throne with a crown on his head – with Lana and Eren leaning on the little handles at the side.

Scott Clarkson: King of an Industry – How This Businessman Jump Started the Careers of the Institute’s Frontrunners

You look at Eren at your side, quickly clocking that it’s Lana and Sukuna that he’s texting.

“You’re kidding.” you state.

“It was stupid. We refused to let him run it at the time. I’m guessing he got wind of what’s happening this weekend and wanted to get ahead of the curve.”

It was simple. Eren’s documentary was going to come out on Friday. Hyla just happened to have a song featuring Ricky James releasing on Saturday. And almost too perfect, the sixth episode of Attack on Titan – your first of the season – was going to release on Sunday.

And with Levi’s approval, you and Eren were going to attend the Institute Awards pre-show and the event itself next week to put an end to them for good.

“How could he have known?” you ask.

“He has eyes and ears everywhere. They’re preparing to distribute the film – I’m sure he must have seen it shuffled around in the paperwork somewhere.” Eren states, shrugging.

You turn to Levi, staring into his steely gray eyes. You eye the magazine, now lying flat on the table, before looking back up at him – knowing for a fact he understands. That he has the same thought as you.

“Do you think that we could do it in time?” you ask.

Levi looks at the picture, corners of his mouth twitching, before he turns back to you.

“I’m positive he knows a guy. We’ll make it work.” Levi states.

You give Levi a smile, looking back at the magazine. It’s a comforting press to the shoulder, accompanied by Levi slamming the keys on the table at your side.

“Take Eren with you. It might rain.”

“You got it, Levi. Thank you.”

Levi cups the bottom of your chin with his hands, a warm smile on his face, before he shakes his head and walks away. You turn to Eren, giving him a lopsided smile, before you jingle the keys in front of his face.

“Wanna go for a drive?”

“I’m pretty sure Levi just demanded that I go with you.”

“I was trying to be cute and you just ruined it.”

“Can it even be considered trying if it’s already something you’re so effortless at?” Eren jeers, snatching the keys from your hand as he pulls you up.

“You don’t have to be so patronizing, Eren.”

“Leave it to you to confuse my affections with ill will.”

Eren swings the door open, and at the first burst of chilly air, aggressively wraps the extra scarf left on the hook around your neck before shutting the door.

“Where are we going?” he asks.

“The airport.”

Eren features curl in confusion as he opens the door for you, tucking you into the seat before taking his at your side.

“The airport? Who’s coming?”

You bite your cheek. Becuase Eren does that thing – that thing that guys do when they reverse out of a parking spot. His arm is spread out on the back of your seat, his face close to yours as he looks out in concentration, and you take the chance to fully ogle him. Only you start searing with embarrassment when his eyes flicker over to you – giving you a wink in recognition. That he knows you were fully checking him out.

“Some friends of mine. I..I kind of owe them a favor. And contingent on that, they refused to ride in the bus with everyone else.”

Eren squints his eyes, the stoplight's red glow reflecting on his features. And when he looks over, his eyes are so pensive that you feel bad for keeping it from him for so long.

“It started out simple, I guess. When…when we came back from Seattle, I felt like there was so much…floating around in my head. So much I was finding out, so much I was realizing, that I could barely come to terms with all of it at once.”

Eren’s gaze shifts, focused back on the street, as the little drops hit the glass.

“I wrote it all down. Everything I learned, what I can’t forget. That I can’t live my life when I’m untouchable. That the wound is where the light enters. That you can’t learn your lessons for people, that sometimes you just have to be there to catch them. You can have grace for yourself but keep yourself accountable too – those things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. That hardship can be good – that sometimes it can even make the good times feel even better.”

You look over at Eren, the red reflecting on his skin.

Eren’s smiling at you – like he’s proud of you. That he knows that you’re repeating the words – his words, Michael’s, Levi’s – everyone who has been pushing you forward.

That you’re taking them to heart.

“That I’m going to make them pay for what they did to you. And to me. I don’t know what’ll happen, but I refuse to be silent about it. I’m done doing that.” you whisper.

You reach for his hand, leaning closer. And he follows your suit, your noses nearly brushing against each other, stilling your blinking – just so you don't have to tear yourself from his green eyes.

“Are you with me, Eren?”

“Think it’s impossible for me to be anywhere else.” he whispers.

The warmth in your throat is suffocating.

“Eren?” you whisper.

“Yeah.”

You pinch your eyes shut at the horrible timing.

“The light is green.” you murmur.

Eren’s eyes falter, a curt nod, before he releases your hand and continues to drive forward.

And takes you all the way down to the airport, the quiet silence enveloping your space.

You open up the car door, a light sprinkle and the earthy smell in the air, as you lean against the hood, hands tucked into your pockets. Eren follows suit, taking the spot next to you, as you watch your breath visualize in the cold, crisp air.

“Back in the day, Satoru Gojo did me a favor. He had the chance to do an ensemble showcase, and he lent that time to me, so I could make a point.” you state.

Eren turns his head towards you, and immediately looks at the group of people piling out of the airport – the distinct white, green, and pink hair catching him off guard.

“It’s time for me to make a point again. I figured I could use all the help I could get.” you state.

Eren fights the urge to bite his cheek, the glimmering smirk you give him before pushing off the hood of the car making his heart pound. He watches as you excitedly run up to Satoru Gojo – and Suguru Getou by extension – wrapping your arms around the two of them and pinching their cheeks.

And it only gets worse when his favorite kid comes running out shortly after – followed by Lana and Sukuna berating him – and clings straight onto his legs. Eren’s exasperated, bringing his hand down to Teddy’s curly hair just to make sure.

That they really were here.

“Eren! Eren, pick me up! Pick me up!”

“You could say please, Teddy. He drove all the way here just for you.” Lana states, giving Eren a warm smile as she places her hands on her hips.

“Please, Eren!”

Eren smiles wide, the warmth in his chest reverberating, as he reaches for Teddy’s sides and gets a wet kiss to the cheek from him return. There’s a deep yearning stinging in Eren’s chest as you walk up, looping your arm under Sukuna’s as you press your cheek to his bicep.

Eren can barely contain it. He’d strangle you if he could.

And Satoru Gojo’s quick to follow, aggressively leaning his weight on both you and Sukuna, as he gives Eren a bright smile.

“Eren Jaeger. Just the guy I wanted to see.” Satoru sings.

“Is that right?” Eren asks.

“We’re all going to battle for you, kid. How do you feel? Your vicious guard dog plans to leave no corner unturned.” he responds, ruffling the top of your hair as Eren watches you shove him off.

Eren frowns.

“You don’t have to…do something for me. I’m not exactly sure what it is you’re doing, but you don’t have to.”

You smile. It was almost aggravating how cute he could be sometimes.

“Don’t worry kid. I love to stir shit up. I have a feeling this one’s going to be in your favor.” Satoru states, giving him a lingering smile before getting called up to one of the cars lingering in front.

Eren turns to his side – Teddy wiggling in his arms – as he watches you excitedly smile at Lana and Sukuna. And when you turn to him, the pale fluorescent light making you glow, you stand out more than anyone else standing there.

Eren swears Satoru’s chanting “fuck a bitch named Scott Clarkson” in the car ahead of him and realizes that Levi’s probably in for the biggest headache of his life.

“Ready to go?” you ask.

Eren gives you a quiet nod, as you reach forward with your grabby hands for Teddy and buckle him into his seat at the back. Lana and Sukuna are at his sides, Eren watching them smile at each other through the rearview.

Eren tries to stamp it out the best he can. That glimmering flare of hope that’s burning in his chest.

And for the first time in years, he fails to do so.

You were keeping his candle alight.

You know for a fact that things will work in your favor, this time around.

Hyla Clarkson, in her extreme annoyingness, moves the release date of her song up to that night – ruining the perfect plan that you had written out. Satoru’s more upset about it, that she ruined the perfectly cinematic moment that would have been.

Her new debut song smushed in bewteen Eren’s documentary and your comeback.

But then you listen to the song and relish in the fact that karma is real. That all of the bad is canceled out by good – and that when it came to them, sweet justice was going to be served.

There’s no such thing as bad PR. And from your standpoint – people talking about you, you being the center of attention, was the one thing that you needed leading up to the awards show.

It’s almost too perfect.

You had every intent to milk the fact that Hyla Clarkson just released an entire song about how big of a bitch you were.

And make her regret it.

Starting by releasing a song the following morning, your first in three years, to ensure hers won’t occupy the top spot.

next part linked here

an: ARE YOU READY FOR IT (revenge era for someone who actually deserves it)

(hyla clarkson you will develop a cough in three days for naming your album pop princess pretending like you don't know the entire aot cast calls y/n princess BC she's a pop princess...)

(I plan to write at least a chapter a week so we can wrap this sweet baby up!)

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @dreamy-carat @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv @cowgirlikets @dreamxiing @mamamammarga @tangerine-neonlight @th0tformikasa

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

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mysticficti0n · 10 months

Note

HELLLOOOO can you write about the reader being at a house party (she's like 17-18 ish) and Toms her ex and uno CUT on Youtube and they play beer pong with the dares, so Tom and Georg are in a team and Y/n and make a friend up are in a team and when Y/n makes their cup the dare is 'French kiss your opponent" and Tom sits her on the tables and stands between her legs making out with her 😀

thank you bebe 😏

L-O-V-E

(and I saw your other request do add that the still love each other so don't worry 🤭)

Beer Pong romance

(all my attention will be back soon but I'm taking time to do some request as I have so many and all you guys have such good ideas!)

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

warnings- swearing, drinking

words- 1.5k

"Y/n come on you've been getting ready for like fucking hours!" Lilly cried storming around my room "you look sexy now lets go!" I loved Lilly but she was a family friend- and those friends you can't get rid of...

"will you give me a fucking second I'm doing my lipstick and then we can go alright-" I snapped back seeing her huff "thank you" I finished my make-up and got up from the desk, my jeans clung to my hips just covering my heals, my tube top strapping around me, hair ironed and make-up as perfect as I could get it I was ready "come then" I said thudding down the stairs hearing her follow closely behind "Bye dad- be back soon" I waved seeing him just blow a kiss

"come on we need to hurry-" she began as I started my engine "its on Burns street" I nodded pulling from the drive and making our way to the party, music blasted through the car and we sung along to every song we knew until we finally saw the house "fuck thats lot more than what Henry said their would be"

"no shit-" I parked up and locked the car, Lilly and I walked in smiling to people we knew and made a bee line for the make-shift bar

"Y/n! Lilly!" a voice shouted over the music that was booming everywhere, we looked to find Henry the man himself holding a bottle of vodka loosely between his fingers along with a cigaret that wasn't lit

"hey babe" Lilly smirked walking over and pressing kiss to his cheek "thanks for inviting us" he held her waist whispering something into her ear making me roll my eyes as I poured some liquid into my cup

"I'll let you guys do whatever this is and I'll find you later alright" the girl nodded but I knew she wasn't listening, she was always so all over Henry it was repulsive, I moved through the crowd until I saw a familiar face smiling to me "Kira!" I hugged her, Kira was a friend that I just loved being around, she was just pure but dirty all at the same time

"hey hun! where's little Lilly?" I pointed back to the bar and she nodded "shagging her playmate?"

"of course" we laughed hitting our cups and taking a swig "who are you here with?" I asked leaning closer so she could here me

"oh I came with ..oh Georg! Georg come here!" Georg and Kira were like brother and sister but just not related and had a lot of sexual tension.. so not really like brother and sister but you get the gist. I watched was the long haired boy wondered over winking at a few girls until he reached us

"hey y/n" I smiled "looking good" he was always a flirt "anyway wanna come play a game of beer pong? we need two players" I looked to the girl who nodded grabbing my arm and dragging me as we followed Georg through a sea of sweaty teenagers, people shoved and yelled as we walked past and all I did was spit curses at them until we made it to the kitchen where the island had been made into a ping pong table, I saw Georg fist bump a boy and my eyes met with his

"fuck" I spoke seeing Tom- he was different now though, hair In long, black braids, bandana around his head and a huge coat covering his body

"oh- I forgot to mention he's with us" I fluttered my eyes agreeing to her words finishing my drink and putting the empty cup to the side "okay who's starting"

"ladies first" his voice hit my stomach, it shouldn't have had made me feel so uneasy, Kira grabbed the ball and went to throw "and and also you have to do a dare for every cup the other team make" of course, Tom couldn't play any game without some sort of consequence

"fine" she through the ball and it missed the table "shit" I laughed as she stomped her foot on the ground, Georg picked it up and through it straight into our cup "you're joking- whats the dare?" the boys looked to each other and whispered a few words before agreeing

"drink the cup at the same time" me and Kira rolled our eyes grabbing the cup and putting it between our mouths, beer spilled down our chins, rolling down our chests "nice view" we pulled the cup away and Kira chucked it at the boy

"perv" it was my turn, I lifted the ball and moved to the middle of the island, lining my hand up and with a small count down it landed in the centre cup "Yes Y/n!" Tom took it out looking to me waiting for me to speak

"take off that god awful coat Tom- and Georg you can drink" Tom huffed slipping his coat off revealing his toned arms against his black shirt and Georg didn't hesitate to drink. The game carried on until we both only had 3 cups to go, me and Kira were now stood in our bra's and I had Tom's bandana around my thigh, the boys however had no shoes on, Georg's hair was tied in a bun and Tom was having to have a bow in the end of his braid, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Lilly looking sweatier than before and lips redder "hey!"

"ohh beer pong!" she cheered

"were doing it with dares, wanna do the dare if Tom makes this shot, she hummed standing between our sides with a face that screamed she'd just been fucked somewhere in the house, Tom flung the ball and it landed in our middle cup

"woo!" he clapped watching as I took the cup to my lips, chugging the beer until it was empty "whats their dare?"

"erm... ah- Y/n French with Tom for...3 minuets!" my stomach dropped, head snapping to her "come on!" I looked back over the table waiting for Tom to interject but he wasn't there

"wha-" I felt hands go under my thighs and lift me onto the island, I looked down to see Tom stood between my legs looking up to me "are you crazy?"

"sure... come on you lost and the dare is you've gotta kiss me, not me kiss you" I sighed thinking through ever decision I ever made, that being becoming friends with Lilly and agreeing to come to this party

"come on Y/n you've got this!" Kira called standing next the Georg who came to watch "at least its your ex not a total stranger!"

"oh yeah because that makes anything better!- fucks sake" my hands came to cup his jaw and I leant down "we never speak of this again alright?"

"just get it over and done with sweetheart- it's only me" he smirked and before I could even looked at his shit eating face anymore I pressed my lips against his and everything came flooding back- every kiss, hug, every time he held me, every time I slept between his arms, I felt locked and I never wanted to let go Tom's arms curled around my stomach pulling me closer, I finally let myself relax into him, hugging his neck. I felt him smile as he took a breather before diving back in again and I couldn't help but smile back, it felt.. nice being so close to him again

"Time!" Lilly called hitting my leg but I didn't let go, and nor did Tom "hello! guys you can stop now"

"I think they may need to have a few moments" I herd Kira laugh and she was right- I'd missed Tom so much, everyday I'd look back on all our photo's, the videos, the times I went to his concerts, when he came to the airport to pick me up after not seeing him for weeks, I missed him too much. The group had walked away leaving me and Tom still intertwined with each other the kiss came to a natural end, our foreheads knocked together while we both panted for air

"I- I love you" Tom spoke through breaths making my heart flutter "we shouldn't have broke up, it was so stupid- I need you in my life Y/n" I couldn't speak, words wouldn't form and my head was cloudy of his voice saying he loved me "nobody has ever compared to you, and they never will"

"I love you too" with the mix of alcohol and adrenaline my whole world seemed to brighten when Tom smiled, not one of his side smiles or smirks, his real smile "kiss me again" his hand held my jaw loosely as he leant up to kiss me again, our lips fit like puzzle pieces, it all felt so right

"come here" his voice was breathy as he lifted me off the counter and to the floor, I forget sometimes how tall he is- he was towering over me, I craned my head up to meet his again, before I could reach he pulled off a little, his big brown eyes looked into mine before he spoke again "be mine again?....please"

"of course" I wrapped my hands around his back and slid my hands into his pockets dragging his body closer to mine, our faces met and a soon as they did our lips were attached again... maybe this party wasn't so bad after all

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healmydesires · 6 months

Text

you’re my medicine ꕤ (a.s)

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!reader

summary: you’re convinced you don’t like anakin, and that he loves to get under your skin. but one summer, you find out just how wrong you’ve been.

genre: fluff + angst + smut (18+ mdni) modern/lifeguards!au

word count: 16,5k+ (oops... bon appétit)

tags/warnings: frenemies/enemies to lovers (it’s one sided but oh well 🫣), miscommunication, assumed unrequited love from both sides, reader described as shorter than anakin, mutual pining, alcohol consumption, an oc as readers best friend, inexperienced/virgin!reader, a bit of thigh riding, unprotected sex, piv sex, loss of virginity, soft!dom anakin, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), kinda pleasure!dom? idk… I just love pleasure doms, multiple orgasms, creampie, a bit of daddy kink, some breeding kink, overstimulation, size kink, lots of pet names.

a/n: hellooo this is my very first anakin fic. this idea came up to me when I couldn’t sleep and I just. had to fantasise about it… and eventually I just. started writing it. anyways anakin is a new special interest and I’m literally obsessed with him. I just love him sm. ALSO! the title is inspired by bisous by aya nakamura! it’s a french song and I just. associate it a lot with him. hehe anyways ,, hope u enjoy <3 🥺

please don't forget to interact or reblog <3 thank u for reading <3 🥰 if u can, let me know if you’ve enjoyed it, it encourages me a lot!

AO3 • masterlist • playlist

Aquasplash, a water park in the south of France, near the French Riviera. Around sixty kilometres from Nice located in a city called Fréjus.

Every summer, you come down to the south for eight weeks, to work as a lifeguard. The water park held too many children, multiple variations of slides, impressive sized pools and Anakin Skywalker.

Unbelievable.

He’s always here during summer. Every year for the last three years and you can’t seem to understand why he keeps coming back to this particular place. It’s not like there aren’t any water parks overseas.

You can’t stand him sometimes. You know that hate is a strong word. One you try not to use often. But the frustration you feel whenever Anakin is around you consumes you to the point where you can’t even spare him a look sometimes.

You don’t necessarily dislike the man, it’s just that he gets on your nerves in such a unique way and you can’t stand it. You truly can’t remember the last time you genuinely enjoyed his company.

He’s so charming, flirty, arrogant and just overall obnoxious. For some reason, he tries to make your life difficult. It can’t be for nothing. He thinks he can just come into your favourite summer job and sweet talk his way up to becoming one of the assistant managers. The job that you so desperately wanted, ripped away from you by the prettiest and most self-assured man you’ve ever met. All in the year when you thought you could become friends.

He ruined it all.

Yet, he’s still trying to be nice to you since day one. Too nice. You can’t seem to understand why someone would try to make you like them when all you did was being rude to them.

Either way, Anakin Skywalker is a fucking menace.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

It is early in the morning, the heat is already rising, warm and hazy, promising a hot summer day.

You drive out of the centre of the city, the sun shining, windows down and the radio blasting your favourite pop song at the moment as you hum along to the tune.

Once you see the “Aquasplash” sign you take the first turn right, moving off the main road, slowly following the small road towards the water park’s entrance. The sound of gravel crumbling underneath the wheels of your car gives you a nostalgic feeling. Bringing you back to when you would come here with your family every summer.

As you pull your car into the staff parking lot of the water park and turn off the engine, you exhale loudly before closing your eyes briefly. You enjoy the short moment of peace as you listen to your surroundings. All you can hear are the seagulls squawking in the distance and the buzz of insects around you.

“There’s my favourite princess.”

There goes your peace and quiet.

You swear under your breath, “fucking hell,” as you let your head fall against the top of your steering wheel. You slowly open your eyes as you give him a side glance.

Anakin is leaning against the right side of his car, staring at you with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

“Skywalker.” you greet him rather unfriendly, your voice filled with annoyance.

He shakes his head with a chuckle. “You don’t seem that happy to see me.”

“Nope.”

A frown forms on his face, but as quickly as it appeared it vanishes. He composes himself and a grin replaces it. “Ouch! You wound me sweetheart, I thought you’d miss me.”

“Missing you? Boy please.” You scoff and roll your eyes before you push your car door open, hitting Anakin softly with your door, pushing him out of your way after you take your duffle bag out of the passenger’s seat.

You don’t spare him another glance as you make your way to the entrance of the park, locking your car with a press of a button.

“I know you’re lying!” He shouts before you hear him follow you.

This time you don’t reply. Too annoyed to give him your time of day. Anakin loves to bother you, loves having your attention on him at all times. You’re aware you’re a stubborn person and it never seems to make him stop to try and get you to look at him, to notice him.

You head towards the office near the entrance of the park. As you enter the building you notice that it’s full. You smile as you recognise some of your colleagues from last year and you wave at them.

You hear a familiar voice calling out for you and you can’t help but squeal as you see that it’s Padmé Amidala. You quickly drop your bag as you both envelope each other in a big hug.

“I’ve missed you so much!” She cheers as she squeezes you close to her.

“Not as much as I missed you.” You smile as you pull away, winking at her.

“Impossible.” She tsks playfully. Her eyes move to Anakin who stands behind you and she gives him a friendly smile. “Hi Anakin.”

Anakin greets Padmé, before making his way further in the room. He comes to stand close to Obi Wan who is once again the manager for the summer.

“Alright, now that everyone has arrived, let’s get started with everyone’s assigned tasks and positions.”

As he starts talking you zone out, still feeling quite tired from your long drive yesterday to the south coast. Padmé smiles knowingly as she sneaks a glance at you.

Around fifteen minutes pass and he’s still going giving everyone orientation and their assignments, until you hear him call out your name.

“Yes?” You blink as you make eye contact with him.

“You and Anakin are partners for the summer.”

“What?” You exclaim. You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

You see from your peripheral view Anakin smiling at you cheekily and you can’t help but move your face to his direction, narrowing your eyes at him. He shrugs at your expression and then returns his attention back to his friend.

“What this means for you two,” Obi Wan continues with a smile as you huff out in protest, “is that you will have to share most posts together.” He says as he hands out your timetable.

“Alright, is this all?” You ask impatiently.

“Yes—”

You sigh and roll your eyes dramatically before grabbing your bag and your friend’s hand, tugging her along with you, making her chuckle as you walk out the building to go to the changing rooms. Your colleagues shuffle out slowly afterwards.

“Not a word.” you grumble.

Padmé’s eyes shine mischievously, as she presses her lips into a thin line in mock seriousness and makes a motion to zip her mouth with the hand you’re not holding.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

So far, the first two weeks are uneventful.

Every day whenever the visitors arrive, you are constantly busy. You’ve switched posts here and there but other than that nothing worth mentioning happened so far.

Anakin and you have been sharing the same posts but not that much either so it has been a rather peaceful two weeks for you.

But this afternoon, you’re partnered with him again to observe the main pool of the water park together.

“I don’t get it,” your colleague and one of your best friends, Padmé, smirks, eyeing you as she’s sitting at the table in one of the staff's kitchens while you slice strawberries for the both of you. “Anakin isn’t as bad as you make him to be.”

“Padmé…” you groan annoyingly before you continue, “that’s because he didn’t take the job you so desperately wanted for so long.” You’re already tired of this conversation, and it barely started.

Maybe it’s your own fault, for comparing yourself to him or that you resent him for getting that job. You’re quite literally aware of how childish it sounds, but you can’t seem to care. You know how much you deserved that job.

Your friend rolled her eyes at your words. “You should really let this go, it’s not healthy. Besides… It's been two years—”

You cut her off instantly, continuing your rant. “He can’t just come here and take everything from me. He is already one of the best swimmers and lifeguards out there. He is so fucking ��pretty’ and smart, he always gets whatever he fucking wants anyways. What else does he want?”

You tangle your fingers through your hair in frustration as you sigh loudly.

“Maybe…” she begins hesitantly and your gaze meets hers. “Maybe, he didn’t want to steal this ‘job’ from you. Ever thought that he wanted this job just as much as you?”

You scoff but she continues with a small smile. “And perhaps, my dear friend, you should try and be friendly with him. I meant when I said it isn’t healthy to hold such a grudge for two years. He is only trying to be nice to you.”

“Yeah sure,” you huff as you cross your arms in front of your chest. “He’s too confident around me, trying to get under my skin at all times.”

“Under your skin? I think he just likes you.” Padmé says with a smug smile.

“L-likes me?” You splutter as you feel your cheeks burn hot.

Your friend shrugs nonchalantly, “it seems obvious to me.”

Padmé isn’t right, she can’t be.

“Anakin Skywalker doesn’t like me. Nor do I like him.” You whisper harshly as you sit down across from her with your plate full of strawberries.

“Of course.” She says as she grabs a strawberry from your plate, her voice sounding nothing but sarcastic as she rolls her eyes for the second time since she started this conversation.

“What?” You level her with a glare. “What does that mean?”

“It means that you’re in denial, that's what.” She says impatiently.

Before you can even reply back, the man himself enters the room with a wide smile. You can’t help but stare at him as he greets the both of you. He’s wearing a white shirt that stretches across his chest, with the blue logo of the water park centred in the middle and red swimming trunks. His hair looks messy but he looks so beautiful, it’s unfair. The fact that he let his hair grow out makes him even more pretty. You’d be lying if you didn’t find him attractive, he’s extremely handsome but you would never admit that to anyone out loud. During the time that you spent observing him, eyes trailing up and down the tall length of him, you didn’t notice how Anakin did the same to you.

“Ready to get back to work?” He asks rather enthusiastically.

“Sure, Anakin. I’m still on my break though. Let me finish eating and I’m good to go.”

His face lights up at your words. He doesn’t say anything and just regards you with a small smile as he leans against the nearest wall.

“What?” You feel yourself grow warm under his mirthful stare. Feeling rather embarrassed as he looks at you. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He shrugs, the smile not leaving his face. “You never call me by my name.”

You stare up at him, suddenly confused. You think about what he just said, trying to recall a time where you would call him by his first name. But you don’t remember anything. You always call him by his last name or ‘skyguy’. Heat overwhelms your body at the realisation.

“Well, okay. Don’t make me regret it.” You try to say as nonchalant as you can while trying to avoid looking at anyone, instead staring down your plate.

You don’t have to look at Padmé to know that she’s staring at you, her smirk dripping with amusement.

“I won’t,” He winks before moving away from the wall. “See you at the main pool, sweetheart.” He says with a wave as he leaves the room completely.

You feel relieved once he’s gone, exhaling as you finally meet your friend’s gaze as she looks at you knowingly. “What?”

“Nothing.” She shrugs with faux innocence.

“That look does not say nothing, Padmé.” You look at her pointedly.

The brown haired girl laughs and shakes her head. You narrow your eyes at her as she continues to giggle.

“What’s so funny?” You huff as you cross your arms in front of your chest.

“Well, it’s funny that you’re so oblivious to each other's feelings. Your own feelings specifically.”

Hot warmth blooms across your chest at her words, until blood rushes to your ears, but you scoff either way. “What do you mean, feelings? There are no feelings. I don’t like him.”

You say it confidently even if you could hear a tiny distant voice in the back of your head calling you a liar. You push another strawberry in your mouth as she chuckles at your words.

“You’re not fooling anyone but yourself.” She snorts.

You both fell in silence, mostly because you’re ignoring her. By now the plate of berries is empty and all you can do is stare at it. You sigh dramatically as you pick up your plate, moving to put it in the dishwasher after rinsing it off.

“Anyways, my break is over. I’ll see you later.” You say as you make your way to the door.

“Don’t forget, we’re going out tonight!” Padmé calls after you.

“How could I forget, you’ve been mentioning it every day at least once this week.” You smirk as she sticks her tongue out at you playfully.

“Don’t act like you haven’t been looking forward to it.” She says as she points a finger at you.

“Yeah, yeah… anyways, see you after work!”

“Have fun with your loverboy!”

You flip her off and all you can hear are her giggles as you leave the room.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The air is thick with humidity, the summer heat enveloping you completely, and smells like chlorine. The sun is beaming down on you as you’re sitting on one of the big red lifeguards chairs. You’ve been observing the pool all afternoon, sometimes blowing your whistle whenever some children would do water bombs too excessively.

Anakin is leaning against your chair. You’re simultaneously looking out after all the swimmers in the pool and occasionally listening to Anakin ramble about anything he feels like sharing with you.

“Sometimes,” you ponder out loud, “I wonder why Obi Wan paired us two together and— hold on, why are you blushing?”

“W-what? I’m not blushing.” Anakin splutters as his face flushes more as he averts his gaze.

A devilish smile spreads across your face. “Sure you are.”

“I am not.” He huffs as he continues to try and avoid looking at you. He looks kind of shy all of a sudden. His face is still flushed, his eyes are bright and his plump lips look so kissable— hold on, why are you thinking about his lips? And why do you want to kiss them? You try to mentally shake the thought out of your head but the damage has already been made. You feel a hot flash of warmth spread over your whole body.

You genuinely hope that he doesn’t notice any of that.

You raise your brows at him, crossing your arms over your chest. You tilt your head as you stare at him.

“Anakin, do you have anything to do with us being paired?”

“Of course not,” he says quickly, looking flustered.

“Mmm yeah, sure.” You smirk, entirely entertained by the way his gaze keeps avoiding yours. His silence is enough to make you giggle but you can’t enjoy it that long though.

“Why does it matter?” He says more confidently, finally looking at you directly. “Is something up with you? I’ve noticed that you haven’t insulted me in a while.”

You blink at him as your smile fades as heat flashes your face, because you actually don’t know what to reply to him. Anakin is right, you haven’t been insulting him for at least a week.

You don’t answer him instantly like you usually do, and he chuckles as he shakes his head at you.

“What?” You say a bit nervously, but you quickly collect yourself, crossing your arms in front of your chest as you roll your eyes at him. “No, of course not. I’m completely fine. In fact I’m keeping all the insults for later.”

“Uh-huh, sure you are.” He says his lips twisting to hide his amusement, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Yes, I am.” You say with confidence.

He’s just watching you and you feel yourself grow warmer under his stare. Suddenly you feel very hot, feeling overwhelmingly warm. Maybe it's the summer weather, or maybe it’s something else.

As silence falls between you two it gives you a bit of time to think. About how the man is always being nice to you. Teasing you, being playful with you. The way he always tries to catch your attention. The way he loves to banter with you.

Or how you notice a lot of things about him lately.

Like how his skin tans so easily, how when he gets a bit too close you notice he has some green speckles in his eyes, how blue and black looks so good on him. Or how his white shirts tend to cling on him so well. Or how no matter which room he’s in, whenever he smiles he lights up the whole room. Or how the whole world seems to stop whenever he looks at you.

You gasp as you look at him, hopping off your chair, walking closer to the tall man.

“What?” He snorts.

“I know what you’re doing.” You narrow your eyes up at Anakin as you walk closer to him, poking a finger into his warm solid chest.

“What am I doing exactly?” He looks down at you with an amused smile on his face, looking entirely too entertained. He’s so fucking charming, it’s infuriating you.

Your skin feels extremely flushed, a bit damp, your hair is sticking to your neck and sweat is beading at your chest, your skin and red bikini clinging to your shirt.

“Stop being—” You stumble over your breath, as it hitches in your throat, realising that you’re both standing way too close to each other. You are close enough that you can see the outline of his features, the faint slope of his nose, his jawline, or the scar near his right eye. Both of your chests are almost brushing, his warmth radiating off on you.

“Stop being what? Or rather, doing what?” He says, a smile still on his face. Why is he still smiling?

You try to put some distance again between the both of you, but as you do you almost trip, and his arms move quickly, hands coming to steady you on your waist.

“Careful sweetheart, don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“What?” A sense of panic envelopes you as you realise that his hands are still on you. Anakin’s hands feel warm and wide as his palms rest on you, over your shirt. His touch feels dizzying and it feels as if you are growing warmer by the second.

“Angel—”

“No,” You shake your head frantically, as you push his hands off you. “Stop being so nice to me all the time, stop trying to distract me, stop giving me all those pet names. Just stop. I know what you’re trying to do.” He looks at you with wide eyes as you’re going off on a rant, not able to stop. “You’re trying to get to know everything about me, trying to be all nice so I let my guard down so you can just strike and take, just like you did last time.”

He looks down at the space between the both of you, tilting his head to the side as he frowns.

“Sweetheart, what do you mean last time?”

“You know exactly what I mean.” You mumble as you look away.

“No I don’t.” Genuine confusion and concern graces his features. “Also, am I truly distracting you?”

“Huh?” Your cheeks flush with warmth at his words as simultaneously you feel your anxiety bubbling up inside you, embarrassment overwhelming you.

“You said I’m distracting—”

“I didn’t,” you cut him off nervously as the warmth in your face continued to rise, still not sparing him a glance.

Anakin says your name in such a soft manner, as he tries to get you to look at him. Suddenly you have had enough of this conversation. Thankfully the loudspeakers announce that the park is closing in half an hour, saving you from talking more about the subject.

“I’d love to stay and chat but I have other places to be!” You say hurriedly as you quickly walk away from him. You ignore him as he calls out after you multiple times, determined to get home as quickly as you can so you could start and enjoy your weekend off.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You’re slowly swirling your straw in your favourite cocktail as you’re staring off in the distance, while you’re sitting on a lounge sofa at the new and fancy rooftop bar Padmé convinced you both to go to. Everything feels a bit hazy, probably because of the alcohol that’s warming up your body or maybe it’s the dimmed colourful lightning and the smoke that hangs a bit in the air.

Your thoughts keep wandering off to earlier today, about the way Anakin looked so confused and how concerned he was when you had your whole rant in front of him. He genuinely looked like he didn’t know what you were talking about when you insinuated that he hurt you last time. What if he actually didn’t know—

You feel your friend nudge you as your thoughts continue to wander. “Did you hear what I just said?”

“Huh?” You blink as you look at her. You were so immersed in your own thoughts that you didn’t hear what she was talking to you about. “No, I’m sorry. Could you please repeat it?”

“Alright,” Padmé sighed. “What happened earlier?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You mumble as you avoid her gaze.

“Come on,” Padmé whispers your name, “I know something happened between you and Anakin.”

You exhale loudly, staring at your drink, shrugging. “There’s nothing much to talk about.”

“Okay, well. If you eventually feel like talking about it, let me know.” She gives you a small smile.

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” you give her a grateful smile back as you squeeze her hand that’s closest to yours.

You pull away, leaning against the sofa as you enjoy the last bits of light. The air is still warm, as the sun is setting. You can still hear the soft relaxing music in the background despite the amount of people talking over it. You close your eyes for a moment as you feel a breeze hitting your face, caressing your skin and hair. You desperately needed a night out and you’re thankful for Padmé picking out this location.

“Man, I truly needed this.” You chuckle after you take a sip of your drink.

“You mean going out?” Padmé smirks, “I knew you’d love it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” You roll your eyes playfully, “you told me so.”

“Damn right I did.” She smiles cheekily. “You always love going out.”

“Not as much as staying at home though.” You argue as your lips curl into a smirk.

“True, true.”

You both talk and properly catch up, finally taking the time to hear each other's stories since the last time you’ve been able to do so was months ago. She laughs as you tell her about all your dating experiences from the past year. Your dating life is quite literally a disaster. You can’t seem to find someone in life that you can truly connect with. No matter what gender. You either end up with another friend or the dates just stay at the first date. You crave a true connection. Someone you can truly be yourself with. Someone that you can talk to about anything and everything and someone that is truly there for you.

Minutes later your eyes stray from hers for a moment as you look across the bar, your smile slowly fading as you recognise Anakin and Obi Wan stepping out of the elevator that led to the rooftop. You feel your body flush with heat as you make eye contact with Anakin. You hate the way your body reacts whenever he’s around. It’s been reacting to him a lot more lately. He looks so incredibly handsome, annoyingly so, like he always does, but the lightning makes him look even more pretty. He smiles and gives you a quick wave before he leans closer to Obi Wan. He murmurs something in his friend’s ear as he gestures to the direction Padmé and you are sitting.

“What are they doing here?” You question as you continue to stare into their direction.

Padmé grins sheepishly at you after she looked behind her.

You narrow your eyes at your friend suspiciously. “You have something to do with this?”

“I may have invited them…” she flushes as she bites her lip.

“Why?” You groan.

You don’t care that you sound whiny, or that your voice sounds a bit panicked, you just don’t feel like spending a whole evening or night with Anakin Skywalker. A moment that was supposed to be relaxing.

“Because, we both like them. They are our friends.” She exclaims.

You’re not happy, or at least you convince yourself that you aren’t. But you don’t feel like arguing with Padmé right now. You decide at that moment that the both of you deserve to have a fun evening together and if you have to spend it with Anakin too then so be it.

“How did you let them know where we were?” You raise one of your brows at her.

“I texted them?” She looks at you as if you asked her the most ridiculous question in the world.

“Okay, yeah, stupid question.” You roll your eyes with a laugh.

“You know, you could always ask for Anakin's number. I’m pretty sure he’d give it to you happily. You’re his favourite girl after all.” She smiles deviously.

You huff, shaking your head in the process. “I don’t need—”

“Hey,” Obi Wan smiles as he greets the two of you, “sorry it took us so long.”

You feel your cheeks flush with embarrassment, you truly hope they didn’t hear what Padmé said. You greet them with a small smile and you finally look at Anakin, finding him already looking at you. He greets you with a small “hi” as he smiles before you see his eyes scan your outfit.

You’ve spent a good hour looking through all the clothes you brought along with you, debating which outfit would be the best for a night out. You wanted to look hot. So in the end you decided on wearing a black dress, one of those corset dresses with a deep plunge, with a thigh slit on the left side of the dress. You also have dark heels on, not too high but not that low either. You normally don’t like wearing heels, preferring your comfortable white sneakers, but Padmé insisted that wearing sneakers under such a pretty dress is a no-go. Plus you have a small black shoulder bag that’s sitting at your feet. As for your makeup, you’re wearing dark nude eyeshadow with smoked eyeliner, and on your lips you have some pinky nude shiny lip gloss.

You feel your body grow warmer under his gaze, and you can’t help but feel a bit shy and insecure. You don’t understand why, but you kind of crave his approval.

You’re taking in his outfit. He is wearing a white button-up shirt, his chest a bit more exposed and you have to force yourself not to look too long. You don’t want him to notice that you’re looking at his chest. He’s also wearing some nice blue jeans, the kind that just look good on anyone.

Padmé calls out your name, and as you face her she is already smirking at you. You can’t help but roll your eyes at her.

Anakin clears his throat, “we’re getting drinks, do you guys need anything?”

“No, we’re good. Thanks for asking.” Padmé smiles.

As both men leave to go to the bar, she turns to you once again.

“What was that?” Padmé smirks with amusement.

“What do you mean?” You mumble as you avert your eyes to your lap.

“Don’t act like you weren't staring at each other.” She says with a laugh.

You sigh heavily, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Oh come on now.” She rolls her eyes playfully.

Before you can say anything back to your friend, you hear your name being called. Your eyes widen as you recognise that voice from anywhere. You quickly whip in your seat as you see one of your best friends standing there, Javier.

“No way?” You gasp before quickly making your way over to your friend to hug him. “Is this real?”

He chuckles as he envelopes you in a big hug. “I am very real, yes.”

Javier is one of your closest friends besides Padmé that you’ve made since working at Aquasplash. He is a Puerto Rican exchange student that came to France to study Engineering. He worked with you for two summers straight until he moved back. You missed him terribly and hadn’t seen him for at least two and a half years. He’s always been a person that could make you feel important. He had a sense of humour that actually made you laugh. He’s one of the smartest people you’ve ever met. A lot of people think you guys have feelings for each other but all the love you have for the man is purely platonic.

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” you chuckle as you pull back to look up at him.

“I missed you too, buddy.” He smiles warmly.

“How long are you staying?” You ask him hoping he isn’t here for a couple of days.

“I’m here on vacation for at least two months, so we can hang out as much as you’d like.”

“Ah finally, I almost thought you wouldn’t show up tonight.” Padmé says with a teasing look as she crosses her arms, still in her seat.

“You knew?” You gasp.

“Surprise?” She smiles sheepishly. The two of you laugh at her words.

“All these secrets.” You tsk playfully as you shake your head at Padmé.

A moment later Obi Wan and Anakin both return with drinks. The bearded man smiles brightly as he recognises your best friend.

“Oh, hi Javier,” Obi Wan says, “it’s been a long time. How have you been?”

As both Javier and Obi Wan are catching up, your eyes almost automatically drift to Anakin. His eyes are almost narrowing at how close you and Javier are standing. You look at him quizzically before he looks away and sits down across from your original seat.

You wonder why he was looking at the both of you like that. He looked almost jealous? You’re certain that couldn’t be the case, because you’re sure he doesn’t genuinely like you or feel about you in a romantic way. Besides, it’s not like you care. You don’t have much time to think about it, because Padmé gestures to you to come back to your seat, patting the space next to hers.

Once you are back in your seat your brown haired friend leans closer to you. “Javier looks so good.” Padmé whispers, loud enough for you to hear.

You snort, soon turning into a chuckle.

“Yeah?” You ask with an amused smile.

“Yeah,” she says as she bites her lip, hiding her shy smile.

“Oh, do you have a crush?” Your smile turns more wicked.

“Shut up.” She groans as she slaps your arm.

“Oh my god, you do.” You gasp.

“Quiet down,” She whispers as she looks around her, making sure that no one else hears them.

You giggle at her antics. “It’s okay, I think he has a crush on you too.”

“Really? You think so?” She asks with hopeful eyes.

Your smile turns soft as you nod. “Yeah, I’m sure. He tends to always look like a lovesick puppy around you.”

“You’re lying.” She pouts as she blushes furiously.

“Of course not.” You say as you look at her seriously.

“Hmh,” she looks at you in disbelief. As if you’re still not being truthful with her.

“Don’t tell him I told you this but,” you whisper as you look around you before continuing, “he talked about you a lot whenever we would hang out.”

You wouldn’t expose your friend like that if it wasn’t for a greater cause. You’re tired of the fact that two of your closest friends are pining after each other. Especially since now you know that Padmé has feelings for Javier too.

“No way.” Her eyes go wide at the information.

“Yes way.” You nod with a smile.

“Okay,” she bites her lip as the blush on her cheeks turns darker. “You think I should make a move?”

“Definitely, I think you should.”

A couple of moments later, Javier comes to sit next to Padmé. “What are you two talking about?”

You lean closer to the side as you make eye contact with your other friend. “Nothing you should concern yourself with.” You say quickly with the most saccharine smile ever.

“Rude,” he pouts dramatically. “Is this how you treat your best friend who you haven’t seen in over two years?”

You stick your tongue at him playfully in response.

After a few drinks and the night turning darker, as the stars in the sky become more visible, the air is still quite warm, you start to feel extremely at ease. Conversations flowed easily with all of you and it was truly a good feeling to be talking to everyone. Even Anakin. Especially him.

You’ve all been talking for almost two hours. And in those two hours, you’ve learned a lot about Anakin. Just like Javier, he’s studying engineering. The only difference is he's still studying abroad. He lives in Amsterdam apparently, which is your dream city to one day move into. He would laugh in such a sweet way as your eyes would widen at the information or your interest in the city. Would answer all your questions about one of your favourite cities in the world.

Or how you learned how much he loves to read during his free time. Or his favourite music, specifically how he is a huge fan of Coldplay. He loves all kinds of music. He said he can’t stick to one music genre. There’s so much more that you’ve learned about him.

The more you know about him, the less you dislike him. The less he irritates you. Maybe after all this time, the irritation was something else entirely, buried under the false pretence of dislike. Most likely it was just pure jealousy. You used to genuinely like him. He always makes you feel things in such a furious way. He makes you think about him constantly. No, you know that deep down it wasn’t just jealousy, it was more than that.

You know something has changed for you. What exactly, you don’t want to face yet. For now, you blame the atmosphere. Something in the air is making things shift around, feel different.

It’s only after you’ve emptied your second or third cocktail, you honestly have no idea, that Javier announces that all of you should do a game of truth or dare.

It’s as if the universe wants to play with you.

“Oh my god, no.” You groan.

“What’s up princess?” Anakin says with a teasing smile. “You got anything to hide?”

“W-what? No, of course not.” You stutter as you feel your body burn hot at his words.

“He does have a point.” Javier says as he tries to stifle a laugh.

“You should be on my side!” You exclaim dramatically.

Padmé snorts next to you.

You turn to look at Padmé, narrowing your eyes at her. “What about you?”

“I mean…” she shrugs as she tries to fight off the smirk on her face.

“Great.” You turn to look across from you, ignoring the way Anakin is smiling mischievously as he looks at you. “I guess I don’t have to ask for your thoughts on this?” You ask Obi Wan.

The man shrugs and you huff.

“I don’t see why we shouldn’t.”

You groan at his words.

“Come on, don’t be so dramatic.” Javier laughs. You look at him in a fake menacing way which makes your friend laugh even more. “Alright, alright. I will spare you, for now.” He gives you a look that says nothing but danger.

“How generous of you.” You huff, rolling your eyes at him.

“You’re first,” your best friend says as he looks at you. “You get to choose whoever you want.”

“Nice,” you say with a devilish grin. You’re thankful that you have some time to mentally prepare yourself for once it’s your turn. Because you are certain that if it’s Padmé’s or Javier’s turn that you’re doomed.

“Uh-oh,” Padmé says with apprehension.

“Javier,” you start, the man groaning loudly at the mention of his name. “Ok, hold on, why am I not allowed to be dramatic but you are?”

“I’m not being dramatic.” He scoffs, as if you had the audacity to accuse him of such a thing.

“Anyways,” you roll your eyes. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he picks unhesitatingly.

You snicker at his choice. You pretend to think for a second before you clear your throat, “I dare you to kiss the hottest person in our group.”

Javier’s eyebrows rise together at your bold request. While Padmé blushes bright red next to you. Obi Wan is smirking as he looks at your two best friends. Anakin on the other hand, is frowning. You have no idea why though.

“Is that the dare?” He hesitates.

“Yep,” you smile brightly.

“You sure?” He questions again.

You sigh heavily. “Javier, you’re the one that wanted to play this game.”

He gulps before he looks down at the brown haired girl who sits in between the two of you. He moves closer to Padmé, cupping her cheek. “Is this okay?” Javier checks in with her.

Padmé nods her head shyly but without any hesitation. He says something under his breath that you can’t seem to catch before his lips connect with hers in a gentle kiss. Her arms move instantly, as she wraps them around his neck.

You whistle as the kiss between them gets a bit more deeper. Eventually they pull away as they gasp for air. Their foreheads are touching as they look at each other with small satisfied smiles.

“Finally.” You clap your hands as you smile with so much happiness, because your friends finally made a move on each other. You might’ve pushed them into the right direction, but you’re happy that they are showing their affection for each other now.

“You’re dangerous, girl.” Padmé laughs as she turns her head to look at you. But she looks truly thankful for what you did.

“Just doing God’s work.” You say with feigned innocence as you shrug.

“Before we continue, who wants another drink?” Obi Wan asks the rest of you as he stands up from his seat.

“Me!” You say a bit too quickly and loudly as you stand up from your seat, adjusting your dress as it rides up.

Obi Wan chuckles. He asks the rest of the group what they want as you write down everything down on your notes app so you don’t forget.

Once you have the orders down, you both make your way to the bar. You feel a pair of eyes on you as you walk away. A chill goes down your spine as you have a feeling who is looking at you. In fact you know you don’t have to turn your head to know that it’s most likely Anakin.

As you reach the bar, you lean over it and try to get one of the bartender's attention. It’s a bit busy, three other people are trying to order at the same time. One of them gives you a nod of acknowledgement, before he comes down to where you two are. Once he takes your order and you’ve paid for it, and leaves, Obi Wan clears his throat.

You raise your head, to look at him expectantly. “Hmm?”

“You know, I’m aware of how frustrated you are that Anakin got the assistant manager position and that you didn’t.” He says carefully. “They picked him because they felt like he was the most qualified.”

You feel slight irritation but mostly embarrassment bubbling up inside you at his words. As you’re about to open your mouth he continues.

“But I feel as if I am inclined to tell you this though.” He starts, “Anakin had a lot of other proposals from other workplaces for summer, other than Aquasplash. A lot of better ones actually. But still, he decided to take on this one.”

Your mouth drops slightly at the new information. Why would he want to come back every year if he had better places to work at. It doesn’t make any sense. Everyone knows that Anakin is insanely smart and talented. Plus, why would he travel so far just to work at a place every summer with a person like you. Someone that’s been rude to him most of the time.

“Why?” You frown.

“Why do you think so?” He asks with a small smile.

You laugh, still puzzled as you shake your head “I don’t know?”

“Sure,” he says as he gives you a look.

Suddenly, you feel overwhelmed as you think about all the moments where Anakin’s always been nice to you, even when you’re nothing but an asshole to him. The way he always tries to catch your attention. Trying to make you laugh. Or the way he loves to spend time with you even if you’re being mean to him. How playful he is. How he loves to tease you or how he seems to only have eyes for you lately. For years actually. Or when his smile would either brighten or soften whenever you enter the room or space he’s in. Or the longing looks he would give you sometimes.

No. You must be imagining things.

Your eyes widen as you look at Obi Wan again. You search for a reaction that tells you that you’re wrong. But he just smiles at you knowingly.

You don’t know how or why your feelings for Anakin seem to have shifted so much, all you know is that any trace of hatred you had towards him has disappeared, wiped away to make room for something else. Deep down, you know that this was all just a facade. You’re never truly angry with him. You never disliked him. It was all an act to protect how you always truly cared for or liked him. The feelings you so desperately tried to push away, a feeling that could only be described by a four lettered word. A feeling that might have been around for a long while.

And you’re sure you ruined everything, because you’re such an asshole.

Suddenly you feel a tightness in your chest. Your breath is turning shallow and ragged and you hear your ears start ringing. It feels as if the sky could be falling down on you any second.

Concern flashes through Obi Wan’s face as he notices a shift in your behaviour.

“Are you okay?”

“I—” you try to speak. “I-I need to go. I’m sorry.” You say hurriedly before you walk away as fast as you can, in need for a moment to be alone.

“Hey, wait,” he calls your name out.

You don’t know why you always feel like running away whenever you’re confronted with something big like your feelings but you know you can’t look or speak to anyone at the moment.

You desperately need to be alone even if it is just for a little while.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You don’t know how, but somehow, you ended up at the beach. The moment you leave the building your phone has been vibrating non stop, not reducing your anxiety at all. So once you sit down on the sand you put your phone on silent after sending one message to Padmé that you’re safe, ignoring all the other texts and missed calls.

You didn’t stray that far from the bar, which isn’t that far from the coast, only a couple of hundred metres.

Your mind starts to wander back to Anakin, the man that you so desperately tried to dislike for years. Which was all a facade for how you truly feel.

You think about how the fact that the one person that you’ve ever fallen in love with deserves better than someone like you that has been mean to him for years all because of something so stupid.

You wish you could go back in time, so you never held a grudge in the first place. So you could actually allow yourself to enjoy being around him, to think of him.

You groan as you feel tears well in your eyes again as the thoughts consume you almost completely.

“Things will be okay,” you whisper to yourself as you try to regulate your breathing while also mentally calming yourself down.

You decide to focus on the sea.

Looking at the sea somehow never fails to calm you down, the sound of the body of water grounds you. As you watch the waves crash every time they hit the shore, you feel your anxiety gradually dying down.

You dig your bare feet in the sand, your heels long forgotten as they sit next to you. At the moment you don’t really care that you'll be covered in sand by the time you leave. The beach, specifically this one, brings you so much nostalgia.

Brings you back to when you were a child.

You briefly close your eyes as you inhale the smell of the sea, exhaling a couple of moments later, releasing a bit of anxiety at the motion. You smile as you feel your body gradually relaxing as more tension dissipates, finally feeling a bit more at peace.

A couple of moments later after you feel your anxiety die down, you feel someone’s presence as they come to sit next to you.

Unhurriedly you open your eyes again before turning your head slowly. Your eyes widen as you acknowledge who is sitting next to you. As your eyes meet Anakin’s you notice that he is already staring down at you. He’s looking at you with so much concern and an emotion that looks so tender. There’s a flicker of yearning flitting through his eyes as he continues to regard you.

Your bottom lip starts wobbling as you squeeze your eyes shut as you desperately try not to cry.

“I’m so sorry.” You finally break the silence as tears well in your eyes again as you look at him.

“Hey, shhh sweetheart, there’s no need to apologise.” He whispers as one of his hands comes to squeeze your shoulder. His touch sparks a warmth in your body, just like he did earlier that day.

“Yes there is.” You whisper as you look away, your tears falling freely now.

“Look at me angel,” he says softly.

He is so caring and gentle with you, you feel awful, you don’t deserve that after being so horrible with him.

“No, I’m serious,” you say as you try to wipe your tears away. “I’m so sorry for being mean to you.”

You’re crying more now, the tears streaming down your cheeks constantly, your make up leaving some tracks because of it.

“Sweet girl,” He says as his hands come to cup your face, holding you so tenderly, as his thumbs swipe at the tears that fall from your eyes. Your sad eyes look at him as he tries to comfort you. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you. All because of something as stupid as a job position.” You whisper as you continue to cry.

“Princess, are you upset because of that?”

“Yeah, it’s so stupid.” You nod, as you keep sobbing. “I feel so stupid. I’ve never really disliked you, it was all just bullshit. A fucking facade. And for so long I believed I didn’t like you. It’s so fucking stupid.”

“Shhh, I’m telling you right now, It’s okay, you’re not stupid. I know you feel that way right now but you’re not stupid at all. You’re one of the smartest people I know. I am not upset or angry with you, I don’t think I could.” He says as he quickly moves to wrap his arms around you, bringing you closer to him. “I’ve got you, love.”

Every time your body shakes, he holds you tighter. Eventually pulling you into his lap, as you cling to him, your hands holding onto his shirt as if you are afraid that he’d disappear. His face is buried in your hair, yours against his chest as he holds you close.

One of his hands moves to caress your head softly, as the other holds your body close to him. As his fingers continue to caress your head you find yourself being comforted by it, your sobs eventually dying down as you feel yourself relax and calm down while hugging him.

His embrace soothes you. Anakin is truly such a comforting person, you could hold him forever.

You slowly pull away from his chest after you’ve completely calmed down, enough to look up at him. As you stare into his eyes, you feel yourself get lost in them. He is truly, so beautiful.

Before you realise what you’re doing, you raise one of your hands to his cheek. He closes his eyes momentarily at your touch, relishing it. Once he opens his eyes again, he watches you intently, his cheeks flushing red. You feel his heart racing while your other hand rests on his chest still.

“Anakin,” you whisper, looking shyly up at him.

He smiles at that. “I will never get tired of you saying my name.”

“Well, I haven't really said it much.” You bite your lip as you try to keep yourself from smiling. Of course, it’s not successful.

“True, but still.” He chuckles, “I will always enjoy you saying it.”

“Hm,” you hum as your eyes shift to his lips every few seconds, “I have something to confess.”

You need to confess your feelings to him. You’ve been hiding them for years, even from yourself, now it was enough. You need him to know, even if he doesn’t feel the same way, even if you misunderstood the whole thing. He deserves the truth.

“Go ahead,” he says as his eyes bore into yours, the intensity making you unable to look away. You’re both breathing in each other's air at the moment. You feel as if you’re being pulled by a magnet, your face slowly moving closer to his.

You feel your body get overwhelmed with warmth, as you mentally prepare yourself to tell him how you feel.

“I’m in love with you,” you say nervously, your confession barely above a whisper. Time stands still in that moment, your faces only a few inches apart, his arms still holding you tight against him, one of your hands resting on his cheek and the other still on his heart. “I think I always have.”

His breath hitches at your words, leaving him momentarily speechless. He looks as if he’s processing the words. Anakin leans in then, slowly, watching for you to pull back or show any other sign of not wanting him close.

He leans in until his forehead touches yours, and you hold in a sigh at the thought of him being so close to you, the heat of his skin radiating off of him, his scent intoxicating you and filling your senses.

The tip of his nose nuzzles yours, his warm breath kissing your lips, less than a few centimetres away now, and you move your thumb on his cheek, stroking his skin.

“I love you baby,” he whispers, making you still your movement on his cheek as you look at him with wide eyes. Heat spreads throughout your body and your heart flutters at his words, your cheeks feeling hot. “You have no idea how much I do.”

“I love you too, Ani.” You say shyly. The moment his nickname leaves your lips, his mouth is on yours.

He kisses you with so much passion, pouring all his affection into the kiss as he holds you tightly. The kiss reflects how much he cares and loves you.

You gasp into his mouth, feeling him as he moves his lips with yours and pulls your body somehow impossibly closer to his, as if he’s not satisfied enough, needing you as close as you physically can. He groans into you, tilting his head to kiss you deeper, and you open your mouth for him when you feel his tongue tracing your lower lip and licking into your mouth.

He moves one of his hands to come to cup your cheek as the other keeps you close, pressing you against him. He tilts his head as you moan into the kiss, deepening it.

He feels and tastes amazing, his touches feel heavenly, just perfect. You know that you will get addicted to him quickly.

Nevermind, you already are.

He moans into the kiss, completely losing himself to the feeling, his warm tongue swirls in your mouth as his soft lips still move with yours. He is better than you ever imagined, his big hands gentle yet firm, his kisses overwhelming you.

You feel the temperature rising between you two. Eventually you have to pull away as you gasp for air. Your forehead rests against his as you both breathe in some fresh air.

His lips then move to your jaw, travelling all over as he presses soft kisses. “Do you want to go back?” He whispers as he nuzzles his head against your neck.

“No, I’d rather stay here all night with you.” You giggle as he then resumes to pepper kisses on your skin. As his kisses become more intimate, moving from your jaw to your neck, your giggles soon turn into little whimpers and moans.

“Good,” he whispers, his voice sounding much deeper than earlier, before his mouth moves up, his lips trailing towards yours to envelop them in another kiss.

Reuniting your mouths, Anakin kisses you deeply, his hands busying themselves with tracing your body above your clothes. You can feel one of them slowly going down beneath your arms, softly grasping at your hips and down your legs, on the way back up finding themselves beneath the dress you are wearing.

You move your hips against him instinctively, without a thought, grinding down on him, which makes him pull away with a groan.

He moves back just enough to press his forehead to yours again. The two of you breathe in each other’s exhales, lips still almost touching as he finally speaks.

“Baby girl, you’ll be the death of me.” He rasps.

You feel your body flush with warmth at his words. Heat pools in your lower body. You bite your lip before giggling, you start peppering his cheeks, jaw and neck with kisses as you grind your hips against him again.

His hands come to hold your hips, halting your movements. You whine as he holds you back, pouting up at him.

“Oh princess, don’t be like that.” He looks at you pointedly.

“But—”

“I’d love to continue whatever is happening right now, but not here.” He whispers the last part.

You bite your lip as you try to hide your smile, your eyes twinkling with mischief. Your hands come to tug at the collar of his shirt, tugging him down to you. “Then take me home big boy.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You both stumble into your apartment once you unlock the door after the fourth attempt. It’s hard to unlock anything when someone as hot as Anakin, or an amazing kisser like him, keeps distracting you with kisses.

You giggle against his lips as you finally kick your heels off. Your feet are eternally grateful once you’re out of them. You sigh with relief as you feel your body relax instantly.

“Man, I hate sand.” He laughs as he also kicks off his own shoes.

You chuckle at his words, “Of course you do.”

When Anakin moves his body to meet you again he wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him. You borrow your head against his chest, nuzzling against his shirt. You’re certain that soon you’ll get addicted to his affection, as if you want him to drown you in it.

“I love you so much,” you whisper against him.

Anakin, pulls away just enough to look down on you. One of his hands moves to cup your cheek, his touch so gentle.

“Will you say it again, sweetheart?” He pleads as he looks at you with adoration. “I just need to hear it again, please.”

You smile warmly up at him, before you stand slightly on the tip of your toes to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you, Anakin.”

Anakin traces your face with his fingertips. Pushing the loose strands of your hair out of your face, he leans down to press a gentle kiss on your lips. Pulling back just as fast as he kissed you, “I love you too.”

He laughs as you chase his lips instantly.

“You’re laughing at me?” You gasp, feigning shock.

“No, sweetheart.” You pout up at him as he continues to chuckle.

“Yes you are.” You pull away from his touch with a dramatic huff.

“Come on baby, you know I wouldn’t.”

“Oh do I?” You say as you pretend to think about it for a second.

He laughs again, as his arms come to wrap your body close to his once again. You feel yourself melt in his embrace, feeling safe and at home.

As much as you love being hugged, you crave more.

“Ani?” you whisper. He pulls away just slightly.

“Yes, sweetheart?” He says as he grasps your hands and kisses your knuckles, heat enveloping you instantly. You feel your body get all warm and mushy at the affection.

“I… want you.” You say, your voice barely above a whisper.

He halts his movements at your words, his eyes searching yours. “You want me?” He smiles softly down at you.

“Please,” you beg as you lean up to trace your lips with his, “I want and need you. I’ve always wanted you.” You press your lips against the corner of his mouth and you wrap your arms around his neck. You look deeply into his eyes, as you continue. “It’s always been you, Ani. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. My heart has always belonged to you.”

The moment the words leave your lips, his eyes are glazed over, clouded with lust as he no longer holds himself back. His lips envelop yours in a loving but lustful kiss.

His mouth moves, slow and oh so passionate. Anakin kisses you like he has all the time in the world. You love the feel of his lips on yours, you could kiss Anakin all day. So soft and yet so full of passion. He tilts his head a millimetre to fit against you better and you unconsciously perk up on your toes to reach more of him.

You part your lips slightly to catch your breath, inhaling slowly as you taste him and only him. His tongue sweeps across your lips making you whimper. His wet muscle wraps itself against yours a moment later, hot and wet and steady as he tastes your mouth and kisses you deeply.

More warmth pools between your thighs as you continue to kiss each other while your hands wander all over each other. You’re quite certain that your lacy underwear is ruined by now.

Your tongues slowly swirl and dance against each other as your hands try to find purchase on his arms. You feel your core clench around nothing and become even more wet as both of his hands travel from your waist to your ass, squeezing it in his hands and pushing your body closer to him.

“I’ve loved you for so long.” He whispers against your lips, his hands moving up to hold you. “Sweetheart, you’re my everything.”

You feel drowsy and hot all over, your mind all over the place, your heart beating insanely fast. You’re breathless and Anakin laughs softly as he takes in your state. You need this man so bad.

His mouth trails down your neck, pressing wet open mouthed kisses all over your skin, leaving you a whimpering mess.

“Ani,” you whine as you subconsciously rub your thighs together.

“I got you, kitten.” He whispers in your ear. You whimper at the pet name while he moves one of his legs, sliding between your legs. You mewl as he presses his jeans-covered thigh against your covered heat which has you clinging onto him.

“P-please, I—” you stutter.

His hands move to your hips, guiding your body to move against him. The friction against your pussy has you moaning and you start to rub yourself against it.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” He groans as he feels the wetness seeping through the fabric.

Anakin lifts his head and your eyes catch his, his lips finding yours in a rough kiss, not wasting any time as he slips his tongue past your lips. Your body is trembling as he devours your mouth and continues to guide your movements. The man of your dreams is wrapped around you completely, a hand tracing your back, the other holding your hips.

“Pleaaase, need more.” You whine against his mouth, “I need you.”

Suddenly, he lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around him instinctively. The passionate kisses don’t stop as he carries you and looks for your bedroom. Once he reaches your bed he places you gently down the sheets.

The bed dips before he hovers over you. He looks at you intensely as his hands move to your thighs, spreading them so he can fit between them. You whimper against his lips as his fingertips trace the skin of your thighs.

“Anakin, wait.” You say nervously.

He stops his movements instantly, as he looks at you with concern. “What’s wrong sweetheart?”

“Nothings wrong Ani,” you nibble at your bottom lip as you look at him. “I just, I’ve never done this before. Being intimate, I mean. I want you, I do, I just wanted to let you know.”

“Sweet girl,” he whispers as he looks at you tenderly, with so much love. “Baby, that’s okay. Don’t you worry about that. I will take good care of you.”

A small smile forms on your lips at his words, and you nod. Anakin leans down, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. Your body relaxes completely at the action. His lips move, all over your face, placing soft kisses on every piece of skin.

“Ani,” you giggle before chasing his lips. As your lips connect with his again, your arms wrap around his neck, your hands tangled in his hair. His lips are so soft and swollen. You’ve kissed each other so much tonight that you almost can’t feel your lips anymore. The kiss is like velvet against yours, and as his mouth moves, delicate and slow, you can’t help but sigh into the kiss.

All you can taste, all you can feel, all you can see, all you can think about is him.

Lust coursing through your bloodstream, you detach your lips from his, moving to pepper kisses along the sharp outline of his jaw, your lips tracing the edge. Instantly, Anakin’s hands drop to your thighs again, his hands tracing the skin then moves higher underneath your dress, towards your ass before pulling you flush against him. You writhe underneath him, your lower abdomen squirming against the outline of his growing bulge.

Your mouth parts, as you keep grinding against him, as breathy moans leave your lips.

Anakin sits up, quickly removing his shirt, discarding it somewhere in your room. Then moves back closer. He dips his head down, burying his face into the crook of your neck, his soft lips tenderly roaming over the skin.

“A-Ani,” you stutteringly whimper, your eyes rolling back when he playfully nips your skin. He presses open mouthed kisses to the sensitive spot just below your ear before sucking harshly. Responsively, you mewl. More wetness pools at your core, growing more wet as he takes care of you.

You sigh under him, “I want you,” you mumble quietly.

Anakin runs his nose down the column of your throat before tracing the shape of your collarbone. When he reaches the crook of your neck again, he bites down softly, making you whimper out his name. Lazily, he flicks out his tongue, the wet muscle gliding soothingly over your stinging flesh. He pulls away just a bit as he mutters “I want you too, baby girl.”

“Then do it, take me.” You groan almost impatiently.

Cupping his chin, you pull him in for another kiss, desperately needing to feel his lips against yours once again. He dips his head down almost automatically, as he chases your own, he slides his tongue inside your mouth and you react instantly, gliding yours against his.

Feverishly, your hands begin roaming over each other, hot lust clouding your minds as your kiss grows fervent with desire. You move your hips desperately as you moan against his lips, hoping that he will get the hint.

“So needy,” he groans against your mouth.

Anakin’s large palms push under the hem of your dress and over your bare thigh under he reaches the junction between your thighs. Unhesitatingly, he presses his hand to your covered folds, and the sudden touch has you breaking your kiss with a strangled cry.

Soft whines spill from your lips, you grind into his hand unconsciously, your walls clenching as you feel him softly stroke your folds over the fabric. The wetness between your thighs is uncomfortable. As he rubs your throbbing clit, you feel your hips stutter at the action. He groans as he feels more wetness at your entrance.

“Such a wet pussy, is this all for me angel?”

You nod frantically, but Anakin doesn’t seem satisfied enough.

“Come on, be a good girl and use your words.” He taunts with a smirk.

“Yes, all yours.” You manage to whimper, your voice sounding strangled and pathetic, as he applies pressure on your clit. “Only yours.”

“That’s my good girl,” he says with a grin. His fingertips find the hem of your dress and you sit up slightly. You raise your arms quickly to help him get rid of your dress.

You feel your body tremble in anticipation, as his eyes roam all over your half naked body, his eyes not being able to stick to one place. Growing wetter under his heavy stare, your inner walls clench around nothing. You feel your heart picking up as his hands reach for your hips, holding them and pressing your body closer to his once again.

“So beautiful.” He whispers as his hands trace your skin.

His lips then crash against yours as you gasp openly into his mouth, desire growing, and take it upon yourself to guide his hand back down to your pussy, this time underneath your panties. His mouth leaves yours to unleash a heavy groan into your neck at the first slip of his fingers between your wet lips.

“You’re so fucking wet, kitten.” Anakin groans as he drops his head to your shoulder, as he runs his soft lips over your flesh, peppering kisses onto your skin.

His lips trail slowly down to your neck, all the way to your chest. Anakin breathes in through his nose, a flash of heat warms you up at his words and you shiver when he exhales warmly through his mouth and onto your nipple. “You’re a fucking goddess.”

That’s all he says before he wraps his lips around one nipple, teeth just skimming your skin as he sucks and licks passionately, then he pushes one of his fingers inside your pussy.

The slight stretch causes your walls to contract, and as he pushes further into you, your cunt practically swallows the length. Feeling you grip his finger, he detaches his lips from your breast.

“Fuck— such a tight pussy,” he hisses. “I’ve dreamt of what your pussy would feel like, but I never thought it’d be this good,”

Your soft noises of ecstasy become louder as the pleasure overwhelms you. His tongue starts licking again, long licks with the flat of his tongue over your hard nipple as his other hand keeps pumping his finger in and out of you at a leisurely pace. His tongue swirls around your nipple, tracing its outline over and over again, while he simultaneously suckles at it.

You whine as your core starts clenching around his finger, begging for more. Instinctively you begin moving your hips, grinding against his hand, as he groans against your skin. Anakin’s lips leave your breast with a wet pop and he looks at you intensely as he continues to fuck you with his finger. You are panting heavily, barely able to think straight as he slowly slips another finger inside you. With each movement, you feel your entrance open and close, your eyes rolling back at the sensation.

“Ah fuck, daddy.” You whimper in a daze, not realising what spilled from your lips.

He groans and moves his face back up, to meet yours, engulfing you in a passionate kiss, swallowing all your little mewls.

“Good kitty, doing so well for daddy.” He pants against your lips.

Your breath hitches at his words, bucking your hips up towards his hand in response, silently begging for more. Of course he notices and slips a third finger in, moving them slowly at first as your tight pussy tries to adjust to the addition.

Little whimpers leave your lips as he fucks you slowly with his fingers. You feel so full, you can’t help but imagine him fucking you with his cock, knowing that he’s probably massive. His pace eventually speeds up as you move your hips along with his movements. His lips move back to kiss you, as you whine against his mouth. Your hands clutch his shoulders as you move along with the pace of his fingers, feeling him curl them and spread them.

“Does that feel good, baby girl?” Anakin moans at the moment he connects his thumb with your little pulsing clit. “My love, do you love it when I play with your little pussy?” He rubs your bundle of nerves at the same pace as he fucks your tight walls. You buck your hips, moaning as you nod at his words. “Use your words, kitten.” He tuts.

You writhe against the sheets as you mewl. “Fuck! Yes, please, please, Ani. It feels so good.”

Anakin leans his head back down, trapping your lips in yet another heated kiss. Instinctively, you feel your legs spread even more open for him as you feel yourself get close to your first orgasm of the night. His tongue slips easily into your mouth after another gasp falls from your lips. You can’t help but moan, whine and whimper as he continues to pleasure you. Your hands wander to the back of his head pulling at his hair softly making him moan into your mouth.

“F-fuck, I need you so bad.” He groans as his thumb applies more pressure on your little nub. He curls his fingers forward with every penetration until your thighs shake.

His eyes stare into yours, lust and adoration written all over them. Once he fastens his motions inside you again, you moan and squeeze your eyes shut. A burning intense feeling, a tight coil in your lower abdomen makes you arch your back beneath him.

“Come for me, my baby.”

You open your eyes slowly, locking eyes with him. His intense gaze is what it takes for you to come undone. The hot feeling spreads all over your body, your body tingling, your hips moving at their own accord against Anakin’s hand as you gasp loudly.

“Doing so well for me princess,” he says proudly, smiling as his fingers slow as you come down from your high.

As you come back to your senses, you feel his fingers slip away from your heat. You feel your pussy clench around nothing every now and there, your wetness dripping down the sheets, which makes you whimper helplessly.

Anakin climbs off the bed, as he makes quick work to remove all of his clothing. You are still in a daze, closing your eyes for a moment.

Once he removes the rest of his clothes, you feel him move back up to you. He leans down, roving his lips down to your neck, licking and sucking, as his hands cup your sensitive breasts, massing them in his hands. You whimper, it’s too much, everything is too much. You feel so hot as Anakin litters soft kisses down your shoulders to your chest. Your hands find his head once again, running your fingers through his hair as he breathes onto one of your nipples.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” He says softly against your skin.

Anakin’s lips move slowly down your body, kissing every little place he can find on your skin while he pushes your body back against the bed. His lips travel all the way down to your hips making you whine and beg silently for more.

A mischievous smile plays on Anakin’s lips as he looks up at you through his eyelashes. “You smell so good, I am sure you taste just as good, if not better.” He groans before taking your underwear between his teeth, while pulling it off your legs slowly. Your mouth hangs open as you watch him, truly speechless someone could make this look so hot. Anakin keeps looking at you as he slides down your body, pulling it off you when it reaches your ankles.

Once he pushes your legs wide for him, you whimper as the air hits your wet slit. Anakin smiles as he kisses all the way up to your leg, taking his sweet time to give your body the attention you need. He presses soft kisses from your ankles up to your knees, his hands move along with his mouth, caressing the insides of your thighs as he gradually moves up your legs.

His lips linger on your thighs, licking and sucking some kisses on your soft skin, Anakin’s lips are so close to where you need him the most yet he feels so far away.

“P-please Ani, baby, I need you…” you practically beg, so desperate for him to finally give you what you desperately want.

“I love it when you beg for me kitten,” he whispers against the flesh of your thigh before his lips move higher making your breath hitch. His fingers move to spread your outer lips for him, Anakin smirks as he slides two fingers inside of you, watching the way your body squirms at the sensation, and you moan against the pillow next to you trying to muffle yourself.

“Mmmm you’re so wet for me baby girl, you’re literally dripping on my fingers,” he says before he presses some kisses on your pubic bone, making you buck your hips in response. “Easy, kitty, we have all night.”

“God, d-daddy… please move your fingers or anything. I just. I need you so baaa—” your whining gets cut off once you feel his lips around your clit, sucking it into his mouth, coaxing a loud but broken moan from your throat. “F-fuck!”

You feel like screaming, you don’t know what to do with your hands, feeling so lost and overwhelmed with the pleasure Anakin’s giving you already. He dives between your legs, licking a stripe up through your folds and teasingly dipping his tongue into your entrance along with his fingers before he travels up to your clit, spreading your lips with his wet appendage and sucking your button into his mouth.

You feel your body trembling terribly. You need more. You try to grind your wetness slowly against his lips as your body continues to shake.

Strong arms are suddenly locked around your thighs, securing your hips with his biceps, holding you still despite your attempts to grind your pussy against his lips.

You grab a random pillow as you hold it against your face to muffle your loud noises while your hips move along with the pace of his fingers. A moment later you feel him grab the pillow and remove it from your face, you whine as he drops it next to your body.

“I want to hear you, my sweet girl, don’t hide your pretty face and moans from me.” He says against your wetness as he curls his fingers inside you, playing with the sensitive spot inside you.

“A-ah, Ani, daddy please. I-I need more.” You moan desperately underneath him. You are squirming, it is so good you can barely even figure out what he is doing with his tongue.

Anakin slowly removes his fingers out of you, making you whine at the loss. He chuckles against you, heat spreading all over your body at the action. His tongue is lapping at your lower lips. Loud incoherent noises come out from your throat. You’re squirming at the feel of his tongue moving around your entrance and Anakin just sighs like there’s nothing in the world he’d rather be doing than this right now, eating you out in your bed, and it feels so so good.

Slipping his tongue finally into your entrance, he curls the muscle upward to brush your walls, you practically scream at his actions, arching your back slightly off the bed. Your head swims from his ministrations. Moaning and whining, you continue to writhe underneath him. You can feel the tight coil in your stomach, ready to snap.

“P-please, please. Ani, I’m so c-close.” You squeak when he starts thrusting his tongue in and out of you just like his fingers that had been doing it earlier before, your body trembling as you try to grind your hips into his mouth as you repeatedly whine his name.

“Come on baby, come for me,” Anakin says against your pussy before plunging his tongue back inside. Your trembling hands reach for his head, tugging lightly at his longer dark blonde strands, while moving your hips against his face, fucking yourself onto his tongue. As he applies pressure on your sensitive spot inside you with his tongue, you can feel his thumb circling your clit, making you see stars.

With a bit more pressure on your clit you come with a loud whine, your vision turning white and your ears ringing as you feel your movements against his face getting sloppier.

The orgasm you’re experiencing feels so intense, the pleasure overwhelming your senses. You feel your pussy gushing against his lips, feeling more wetness slipping out of your entrance as Anakin moans against your cunt. You take in some deep shaky breaths, trying to gasp for air as you come down from your high. Your body trembles heavily as you try to come back to your senses.

You feel Anakin’s tongue still licking up your pussy as he retreats his fingers from your pulsing hole. His mouth feels heavenly, but you whine at the sensitivity. He moans as he licks against your tight hole, licking up your release, his tongue prodding your entrance again.

“‘S too much.” You whimper at the overstimulation.

Anakin ignores your pleas, moaning against your heat as he continues to eat you out. The man you adore so much between your legs keeps sliding his tongue up and down your sensitive slit. Your little mewls and other noises of ecstasy spur him on, to move his lips back up to your clit. He sucks the nub softly between his lips.

The walls of your pussy clench furiously, the empty feeling inside you intensifying with every lick, and as your wetness trickles out of you, your core practically begging to be filled.

You begin grinding your hips against his face as moans keep spilling off your lips. “You’re so sensitive, kitten.” He remarks as he presses a kiss to your clit.

Eventually he leans down, slipping his tongue into your entrance again, he curls the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encourages him to do it again and again.

You are a mess of his name, you chant his name over and over again. As if his name is the only word that you know at the moment. Your hips move against his face as you continue to whimper and moan breathlessly underneath him.

Writhing below him, you feel him lick up and press against a sensitive spot inside that has you seeing stars, while your hips buck against his face uncontrollably. Your fingers are once again gripping onto his dark blonde hair rather harshly and your hips push against his face to shove his tongue deeper into your hole.

“Please,” you beg. You’re so, so close. You just need a little bit more to climax.

“Come,” he whispers his demand against you, before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb comes up to press against your little bundle of nerves. You come with a loud whine, your hips stuttering as your vision turns white. You cry out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. Your fingers are tightly woven through Anakin’s hair and your hips push so far against his face, you think you are almost suffocating him.

As you slowly come down to reality again and you try to catch your breath, you hear him praising you softly while he continues to lap at your wetness gently, until you whine and nudge him away with your leg because the overstimulation is getting too much for you. Finally Anakin detaches his mouth from your pussy.

He quickly licks the wetness off his lips before he crawls back up to you with a smirk, to kiss you deeply, cupping your face in his hands. You moan at the taste of yourself against his tongue, your eyes fluttering against his skin while you kiss, your arms wrap around him to pull his body closer against yours. You sigh happily, against his mouth, you feel yourself melting in his embrace already. You can feel his soft mouth smiling against yours, as the kiss gets more heated.

“You did so good for me, baby. My good girl.” He whispers against you.

You pull away to look down between your bodies. He’s incredibly long, insanely so, and somehow even thicker, its rigid girth intimidating against your body. His shaft throbs under your gaze and you can’t help but fixate on it, you swallow thickly at the sight of it, the walls of your cunt constricting around nothing.

You can’t help but wonder if it was even possible to fit inside you.

His lips chase your own, as he envelops you into another sweet but deep kiss. “Care to share what you’re thinking?”

“H-how?” You say quietly as you stare at him.

Anakin chuckles and you can’t help but pout at the sound of his soft laughter. “Baby, I’m not making fun of you. I swear.” He reassures you quickly as his hand cups your cheek gently. “Don’t worry, it will fit.”

You can’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his cock. You’re whimpering and moaning as you move. It turns slick as you keep grinding yourself against him, and he has no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.

“Oh, baby,” Anakin groans, and it’s because he reaches down and grasps himself to line up between your lips and slide. He keeps rubbing the head of his cock from your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you squirm underneath him, and back down. Every single time his tip rubs against your hole you tremble more. He loves the sounds you make as he spreads his precum around your slit, where you are still dripping for him.

“Please, daddy.” You gasp openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You are still extremely wet, but the thought of him finally entering you with his big cock makes you wetter. Anakin swallows your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against yours. He kisses you full with fervour, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.

His broad body covers your own smaller body with his. You can’t help but love how bigger and taller he is than you. You feel so small under his large body, but in a good way. You’ve always had a thing for much taller guys. You love how sexy he is; his deep voice, his big hands, his large, muscular, sweaty body. You love hearing him call you his baby, his princess, his love, all the loving names he comes up with for you. You love how he treats you, how he has always treated you. He makes you feel safe and so loved.

You are trembling against him, filled with anticipation. You writhe against him, wishing he was just filling your pussy up already.

“Are you ready for me, baby?” He whispers as he looks deep into your eyes. “I’ll try to be as gentle and as slow as I can, okay? Let me know if you want me to stop and I will.” He promises you.

You whine and nod, not trusting your voice at the moment, as you rub your pussy against his dick.

“Fuck,” he moans, “I need you to use your words baby.”

“Okay,” you whisper breathlessly. “I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart, so much.”

He leans back down to kiss your lips again, he reaches down and grasps himself to line up between your lips and slide. He rubs himself up and down your slit for a while longer before one of his hands leans down to spread your outer lips sliding his dick teasingly around your entrance. You arch your back slightly and whimper loudly out of frustration.

“P-please—” your whine gets cut off at the feel of him applying pressure at your tight hole.

Anakin slides the tip in such a slow way it is agonising. At first he struggles to enter the tight, unused walls of your virginal pussy. Your lips part with a cry. He is so careful, like he is afraid you might break. You let out a long broken whine as he gradually pushes more of him inside you.

You whine at the stretch of him. He is so huge. Your tight pussy clenches around him as it tries to accommodate his massive girth. He continues to push more of his cock inside you. He leans down to kiss your lips gently as he moves more inside, hoping that the distraction and the kisses will soften the sting.

“Fuck, how are you so tight.” Anakin moans against your mouth, almost undone by the tight embrace of your velvet walls around his cock.

His hips still once he hears your strangled gasp. “Wha— it’s not m-me. Ah, fuck. You’re just huge.”

“Do you think you can handle more?” He smiles tenderly as he looks down at you.

“M-more?” You stammer with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” he says breathlessly.

“Please,” You flutter your eyes close and whine as you nod. You grip the bed sheets between your fingers as you beg him for more.

“Good girl,” he grunts softly. You think there isn’t a possibility to get more wet but as he utters those words you feel your heat get sopping wet. Your pussy continues to pulse and clench around his cock as he moves deeper inside you.

Once he bottoms out, you feel his tip kiss your cervix. Anakin lets his body rest against yours as he allows you to adjust to his size. You feel extremely full, as if he is made for you, and only you. A sudden feeling of completeness overtakes you, the sense of wholeness overwhelming you.

The feeling of him filling you up so completely has you seeing stars and digging your fingernails into his shoulders. You feel one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them together as the other one reaches up to your face.

His breathing is heavy as you squeeze his cock constantly. Small whimpers spill from your lips as you squirm underneath him.

You need more.

You slowly open your eyes to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Ani.”

“You need me to move baby?” He asks gently, as his thumb swipes over your bottom lip.

“Yes, please.” You beg as your pussy clenches around his thickness rather hard which makes him moan. “I need you to fuck me so bad.”

He nods before he starts moving slow and deep, one hand reaching down to play with your clit, while the other holds onto your hand tightly. The sting was hurting for a while, but it easily morphes into a more pleasurable feeling as he moves against you.

He moans as he drops his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin just below it.

“Such a tight pussy,” he groans.

A loud noise like nothing you’ve ever made escapes your throat, a strange cry of his name.

Anakin’s entire weight is braced on one hand beside you, his other hand moving to rest on your back, under your body, as he pulls your chest into his. Your legs are splayed open on either side of his hips as he grinds his cock into you. The angle is so good, gradually he picks up his pace, leaving you a whimpering mess underneath him. Every time he thrusts into you, his pelvic bone drags along your throbbing clit, making you cry out his name in pure ecstasy.

“You’re taking me so well, kitten. Doing so so, good for me.” He whispers against your skin as he nuzzles his face against your neck.

You whimper as his lips move back up to your lips, enveloping them in a heated kiss. At a certain point you feel him slide into a pressure point in your core that has you clenching like a vise around his dick. Your eyes roll to the back of your head from the pleasure he is giving you. Your legs shoot out, wrapping them around his hips, and your heels dig into the fleshy globes of Anakin’s ass, pulling him deeper into you.

“Feeling good my sweet girl?” He moans, a small smile forming on his lips as he watches your face contort in pure pleasure.

His mouth covers your own instead as he swallows all your little noises, you can feel the tightness return in your belly, the tight coil that pulls tight, tight, tighter. Suddenly everything feels too much. It is just too much for you to handle.

He quickens his pace, his hips snapping up to yours to a fast tempo. “This pussy was made for this me, isn’t it, kitten?”

You can only moan his name repeatedly in response. His hands can’t seem to get enough of you, sliding around your hips and lower back, wanting to feel all of you, touch you everywhere. Your arms wrap around him and your nails dig in his back making him groan. The feeling of the coil is tightening in your belly, tingling down to your legs, ready to snap at any moment.

“You’re so beautiful,” he admires you, cursing under his breath when you purposefully tighten your walls around him. “You look so pretty when you’re stretched around my cock, fuck— I bet you’d look so pretty full of my cum too.”

“Please…” you whimper at the thought of him filling you up with his cum. As your thoughts start to wander, things that you shouldn’t be thinking of yet, all because the thought of him filling you up with his cum has your thoughts going feral. It has you involuntarily clenching around him. (You try to store that fantasy for later.) “Please daddy, fill this pussy up.”

He groans as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

Fervently, the two of you rock into each other, chasing your own highs. You cling desperately to him, your arms holding onto his shoulders as you writhe together. You crave his kisses, needing to feel his lips on yours, you strain your neck and press your mouth to his. Instantly, his mouth opens, and your tongues begin moving against each other leisurely.

One of his hands slides between your body before you feel him stroke your clit. He rubs your clit with enough pressure to ensure you’d cum. Breaking from the kiss, you cry out against his lips, your breaths heavily intermingling together.

“You want to cum, sweetheart?”

You nod frantically at his words with your eyes closed as you bite your lip harshly. “Please, f-fuck. Need it so bad.”

“Cum for me, baby,” Anakin urges. His command, paired with the way his fingers caress your clit, and how his cock drags against your sweet spot, has you at the brink of your climax.

Mouth falling open, your muscles strain as you choke out a cry of euphoria. Your whole body trembles, squirming underneath him as you come undone. You held his body closer to yours, your nails digging in his back, scratching it. Head lolling back, your back arches violently as you twist and contort in pleasure under him.

Anakin groans in your ear as your walls spasm and pulse around his cock, begging him to cum inside, desperate for him to fill you up the way he promised.

Feeling your pussy tighten in a vice-like grip, your inner walls gushing with wetness as you milk his shaft, Anakin moans deeply.

“Fuck,“ he moans, pushing himself up as he thrust deeper into you, the head of his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. “Going to fill this pussy up, until it’s full and messy.”

His own head falls onto your chest, and with a few more thrusts, he buries his cock as deep inside you as he can before he cums.

He moans loudly, as he comes inside you. The warmth of his seed fills you up and spreads within your walls. His warm cum fills you up deeply, the mild heat of it settling deep inside you and causing you to squirm under him. You whimper at the feel of his cum dripping out of you.

Once both of you catch your breaths, Anakin leans his forehead against yours before kissing you tenderly.

You feel him soften inside you, and as soon as you feel him move to pull out, you whine in protest wrapping your legs around him to prevent him from leaving you yet.

“Stay.” You whisper against his lips.

Anakin lets out a breathless chuckle at that.

“We need to clean you up.”

“Right now?” You whine again.

“Yeah,” he smiles as you pout. “How about this, I will clean you up and then we can cuddle as much as you want.”

“Will you stay?” You continue to pout.

“Yes, if my girl wants me to stay I will.” He smiles down at you, looking at you with so much love.

“Oh really?” You grin at him. “Am I your girl?”

He rolls his eyes playfully. “Yes, of course. Who else?”

“I just wanted to hear you say it.” You giggle before you press a soft kiss at the corner of his lips.

“Yes, you’re mine. Just like I’m yours. Completely.” Then his head moves just slightly, to capture your lips in another deep and loving kiss. As you lose yourself in the kiss, you don’t really notice as he softly unhooks your legs from around him. Moments later he pulls out as gently as possible.

You whine in protest, your walls a little raw from his thick girth, and when he retreats completely, you can’t help but squirm. Instantly, his cum begins leaking out of you, causing you to mewl in pleasure, your entrance throbbing and only forcing more of his cum out.

Anakin sits back on his heels, his eyes drop to your pussy, a low groan falls from his lips. Your legs are spread wide, and your pussy slightly gaping from where he’d fucked you open. But he’s more focused on how his cum leaks out of you, his seed dripping down your ass. Or how your pussy clenches around nothing every now and then. His chest swells with pride, and he can’t help but smile lazily.

Leaning forward, he presses one hand onto your inner thigh, while the other swipes two fingers between your slit, gathering up his cum, and pushing it back into you. You wince at the sensation, a low groan slipping from your throat at the sensitivity. He presses a kiss to your knee in apology after he pulls his hand away.

“Come on baby,” he chuckles as he moves off the bed, taking you along with him. You whine as you realise that you’ll have to come along with him, leaving your soft bed.

“What? I thought you were gonna clean me up?” You pout. Your legs wobble a bit, your body aching as he tugs you to the adjacent bathroom of your bedroom.

“I changed my mind.” He smiles cheekily.

You raise your brow at him, looking at him suspiciously as he guides them into her shower.

“If you think that we’re gonna do anything but clean ourselves then you’re mistaken mister.” You poke his chest playfully.

“I know,” he winks before he turns the shower on. Immediately, water shoots from the shower head mounted to the wall, the spray wetting your arm.

Once you’re both cleaned, which took a while because you did more than just clean; lots of kisses and touches were shared, both of you finally crawled back into bed. The night is filled with lots of talking, laughter, your kisses, cuddling, more noises of pleasure and all the love you both share for one another. You know that you’ll never get tired of loving Anakin, regardless of how new your romantic relationship is. And you know he feels the same way about you too. You’re tired of running away, tired of pushing your true feelings away. Finally allowing yourself to be truly happy with the love you have for the man that adores you just as much.

He’s your medicine.

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5queerducksinatrenchcoat · 6 months

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(making this a separate post from the reblog)

WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't me saying a thing that ended up happening! My cunty lil man got all dolled up with wee john, both looking gorgeous, by the way, and then izzy trying to teach frenchie the music real quick and y'all, I had to pause the fucken episode and prepare myself because izzy was actually gonna sing.

And then this lil fucker(affectionate) slaps me on the fucken face with LA VIE EN ROSE, and when I say nothing could have prepared me for that! I was not still the entire fucking song, my body literally could not contain its excitement. (there was a lot of finger snapping and bed slapping and 'fuck it up!'s and 'yes bitch!'s)

AND THEN, HE PULLS OUT THE FUCKEN FRENCH! Because of course con learned it in french, too! He didn't have to do that, but he fucken did!

And y'all, he was singing to the crew. It wasn't for ed, it was for the crew. The lyrics were changed so he was singing for the crew, because they're his family, and he loves them, and they love him. He feels safe with them and comfortable with them not only to be himself, but to FIND himself.

The crew actually took the time to realize that he is not okay, and to understand him enough to help him in the way he needed, not in the way they would need it. They took that opportunity to let izzy know, point blank, that he is one of them, that he is family, and I feel like it's safe to assume that that's more then he's ever gotten before.

And izzy's still not okay. He's been drunk or drinking for the majority of the fucken season. He is not coping with the loss of his leg, or everything else that ed did, in a healthy way. His thing with ed is still incredibly fucked because ed's allergic to proper communication and izzy will just take what he can get because he loves him. (But ed's a whole other can of worms who has his own shit to deal with.)

But anyway, it's okay that izzy's not okay. It's okay that he's not all healed and doesn't have his shit together. It's okay that he's not even healing rn, really. What's important is that he's in a place to start healing. He feels comfortable and safe and understood, he has a support system that he feels connected to and knows will help him, and he'll actually accept their help. (Like fang helping to keep him steady while he was coming down the stairs when he was telling frenchie what song to play. fang was holding onto izzy's hips and izzy wasn't even close to bothered.)

Also I love how ned picked up the song where he interrupted izzy, that was such a bitch move and it was great.

#im fucken feral about this show #and about this little middle aged man #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #our flag means death season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 spoilers #izzy hands #ofmd izzy #con o'neill

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marie-swriting · 3 months

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The Slut Of Hawkins - Steve Harrington [1/2]

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You're paying for the consequences of dating Steve Harrington.

Warnings : italics are for flashbacks, Slutshaming, school bullying (reader getting bullied) (talk to someone if you're being bullied!), implied sex, Steve is a bit of a coward, bad relationship with parents, angst, sad ending, fighting.

Word count : 3.5k

Song inspiration : Because I Liked A Boy by Sabrina Carpenter

The laughs were filling the fresh air of the early night. Laying on your backyard trampoline, you were cuddling against Steve. You had been getting closer recently and you had to admit, it made you feel good to have someone to talk to, especially when your parents weren’t there - which was pretty often, that night was another proof.

Steve held you a bit tighter in his arms while you were talking about your favourite singers. You had said some names like Madonna, Bowie though, it was the mention of The Beatles that caught his attention.

“The album Help! is definitely my favourite.” Steve informed you.

“Same for me, I love all of the songs but You’re Going To Lose That Girl and It’s Only Love have a special place in my heart.” you said whilst Steve looked away. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just that It’s Only Love was our song, to me and Nancy.”

“You really loved her, didn’t you?”

“She was my first love. Unfortunately, it ended pretty badly. It became complicated after her best friend Barbara disappeared. Besides, I have to admit, I was at fault, too but I’m trying to be better.”

“I’m sure you will.” you affirmed hugging him a bit more against you. “You’re not the same Steve you used to be. We wouldn’t be here, otherwise. You’re a good person, Steve, don’t doubt it for a second.”

“Thanks for what you just said.” Steve smiled at you.

“Anyway, what do you think of I Need You?”

“Not really my favourite.”

“Steve Harrington, I am appalled! How dare you say this kind of stuff?” you exclaim, faking shock.

“You asked for my opinion.”

“And you were supposed to agree with me.”

“I don’t like it, it’s not my fault.”

“You just don’t get this song. You’ll see, you’ll be a fan of it one day, I’ll make sure of it.” you stated looking at him right in the eyes.

“I’m dying to see that.”

Your lips were only a few inches away. You didn’t dare to make the first step, even if you were dying to, you were too afraid to have read too much in between the lines. You liked Steve a lot, but you weren’t sure he wanted the same thing. Steve looked at you with stars and tenderness in his eyes, yours were quite similar. You both were waiting to see which one would bend first. Steve was the one who ended up breaking the inches by pressing his lips against yours. Your lips were moving slowly, taking in this innocent moment of the beginning of your relationship.

Now, the innocence is gone. Once you close your locker door, the word “slut” is written in big letters, reminding you of the price you had to pay for this moment. Who knew cuddling on trampolines could be so reckless?

Far away, Steve is watching you. However, the second you turn your head toward him, he looks down and goes in the opposite direction. It’s been the same thing for a month. You are called names and Steve turns a blind eye. You are accused of being a homewrecker and Steve receives sympathy for the pain you supposedly caused him.

During the day, you keep your head low, not wanting to draw more attention to you. Unfortunately, the insults just like the degrading pieces of paper keep coming your way. The only moment of peace you have is during lunchtime.

At first, you hid in the bathroom then you ended up running into some girls who made you understand they weren’t on your side so you went to find a safe place in the janitor closet. At least, no one can bother you there. You don’t like the way you accepted the bullying however every time you tried to explain the situation, no one listened to you. So, now, you don’t say anything and you let people tell you who you are, hoping this story will end soon.

In the afternoon, you have chemistry. As you got used to the past month, you sit at the end of the class, wanting to be far away from your classmates' judging look. You do your best to stay focused on the lesson but you have to admit since the beginning of the rumours, your grades have been falling. You keep your energy to survive the comments so you don’t have enough of it to keep your grades high.

While you finish writing what Mr. Kaminski just said, he announces you’ll work in pairs. Right away, your stomach twists and you want to throw up. You can’t work in pairs. You’ve never been a fan of group projects however now you hate it; it’s an open door to being called names nonstop for a whole hour. The teacher informs he’s already made the groups before saying them out loud. Like a convicted person, you wait for him to say your name. You’re part of the last group and you’re with Tucker Walker. At the mention of his name, you want to die. He’s part of the basketball team and he’s entitled. You don’t like him. You try to negotiate with your teacher to work alone but he insists.

“Come here, Y/L/N, I’m not gonna eat you.” Tucker laughs.

Reluctantly, you gather your stuff and go to his desk. You put as much distance as possible, wanting to avoid new rumours.

“I’m going to do the whole exercise and I’ll put your name on the sheet like this, you’ll have nothing to do.” you announce while starting to read what you have to do.

“Who said I didn’t want to work with you?”

“I don’t want to work with you.” you specify. “Now, do something else and let me work.”

“On the contrary, I’m sure I can be useful.” he contradicts, putting his hand on your knee.

“Take your hand off.” you say through gritting teeth.

“What?”

“Your hand. I don’t like you and if I’m not mistaken, you’re with someone.”

“It didn’t stop you with Harrington.” he says before leaning in. “You can meet me behind school later.”

“No.”

“You don’t have to play hard-to-get because we’re in class.”

“I’m not playing hard-to-get, I just don’t like you.” you repeat, trying to stay calm.

“That's what you say now.”

By some luck, Tucker takes his hand off and lets you work. You’re surprised to see him give up so easily. You know it’s hiding something else, from now on, you have to avoid him.

You finish the work sheet the same second the bell rings at the end of the class. You pack your stuff quickly and give the sheet to your teacher before leaving the room. Tucker doesn’t follow, allowing you to sigh in relief.

Walking by your locker, you discover the insult is gone. It’s one of the positive things with the janitor, he always erases the insults right away. Though, no matter how many times he erases them, he’s never reported it to the principal, leaving you on your own with the high schooler venom.

The moment you leave school, you walk to your car when you get stopped in your tracks. In front of you, there are four girls, Jessica - Tucker’s girlfriend - included. You try to not show anything, mentally preparing yourself for what she’s going to tell you.

“What makes you think you can hit on Tucker, my boyfriend?” she asks drily, “Being his chemistry partner and telling him to meet you behind school? That’s where you were going, weren’t you? He’s not coming. Unlike Steve, he won’t let the slut of Hawkins destroy our relationship.” Jessica affirms, you’re about to answer when she beats you to it. “Don’t even try to deny it, Tucker told me and Sarah heard you!”

“Well, she can’t hear correctly then and your boyfriend is lying. Tucker is the one who hit on me and I stopped him. He put his hand on my knee and told me to meet him behind school.” you retort, annoyed.

“You think I’m gonna believe you over my boyfriend and my best friend?”

“I know you’re not going to believe me. It’s so much easier to believe your boyfriend who tells you what you want to hear rather than the girl who shows you the true colour of your boyfriend. Don’t be too disappointed the day you’ll discover he’s cheated on you, if he hasn’t done it already.” you state with a fake smile.

“Take that back.”

“Why ? Everyone knows he’s a cheater.”

“He’s different with me.” Jessica insists and you shake your head.

“That's what he wants you to believe but the truth is, he’s sleeping around while keeping you under his hat.”

The sound of the slap resonates in the school parking lot. You look at Jessica with eyes wide open whilst you’re touching your cheek. For you, that’s your last straw, you answer to her attack by pulling at her hair. Jessica’s scream alerts the adults around while her friends try to separate you two. You keep giving her a piece of your mind when two arms wrap themselves around your body and gets you away from Jessica. Being separated doesn’t stop both of you from insulting one another and trying to go for the throat again until Mister Jenkins arrives.

“That’s enough! What is going on here?”

“She attacked me!” Jessica lies, pointing at you.

“What? You’re the one who slapped me first.”

“She’s lying, we saw her, sir!” a friend of Jessica adds.

“They’re lying, Jessica did hit her first.”

Looking behind you, you discover the one who is holding you back and who is defending you is none other than Eddie Munson. You didn’t even see he was around and you certainly didn’t expect him to defend you.

“Are you seriously going to believe what Munson is saying?” Jessica questions, faking tears. “He’s always against us! He’d say anything to get us in trouble. I’m the victim here-”

“You’re talking nonsense, you-” you cut her off before Jenkins gets your attention back.

“Enough! I have enough. Go to the principal, now!”

And that’s how you end up in Mister Higgins’ office for the first time. You can’t believe the situation got this bad. The worst part isn’t listening to the disapproving speech of the headmaster, it’s actually witnessing your mom’s disappointment beside you as he speaks.

While the principal is explaining to your mom and Jessica’s mom what happened, you look at your feet, holding back tears of anger. Once he’s done talking, Higgins catches your and Jessica��s attention.

“Do you have anything to add?”

“I didn’t attack her first.” you insist.

“Everybody saw you!” Jessica retorts.

“You’re the one who accused me of stealing your boyfriend. I did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, just like you didn’t break Nancy and Steve’s relationship.”

“Sir,” you start, trying to keep a calm voice, “I’ve been receiving insults for more than a month now from everyone including Jessica. She called me a slut then she slapped me when I told her her boyfriend was cheating on her. Eddie Munson saw it, he told Mister Jenkins.”

“Munson, the one leading a cult? What a reliable source!” Jessica’s mother states, rolling her eyes.

“Madam, please.” Mr. Higgins reprimands. “One witness against Jessica’s three friends doesn’t bring a lot to the table.”

“So you’re not even going to do something about the harassment I’ve been receiving?”

“Y/N.” your mom says drily.

“I’ve never heard anything about people being mean to you. However, your grades haven’t been going down for some reason.”

“If you cared a bit more about your student, maybe you’d know why.”

“Y/N, enough!” your mom orders you before turning to Mister Higgins. “I apologise. I guess Y/N will be punished?”

“Indeed, we can’t tolerate this kind of behaviour. Technically, this kind of situation can lead to expulsion though considering Y/N has always been a good student - until now -, we’ll just say she’s going through a bad phase. Y/N will have a month of detention and you will be doing an assignment on bullying.”

Before you can protest, your mom glares at you. You stay silent while your mom apologies once again for your behaviour. Your mom’s grip on your arm forces you to stand up and to leave the office. She doesn’t say anything until you arrive at your car where she orders you to get home right away.

Once you’re home, your mom informs you you’re not allowed to drive your car therefore, you have to take the bus to go to school before informing you to stay in your room until your father arrives.

The second you close the door, you finally let your tears of anger stream down your face. You’re frustrated by the whole situation and you have never felt this alone before. You lay down on your bed rolled up in a ball, searching for some comfort. As you search for that much-needed comfort, your mind takes you back to a time in your life when you had it without needing to make any effort.

At one point, you had this comfort with you. When everything was still going great, it wasn’t rare for Steve to come to your place and put on a smile on your face.

You had been a couple for three months and no one knew about your relationship. You preferred to not say anything, wanting to protect what you had. Thanks to your relationship, you both felt less alone, you finally felt like someone cared about you, that was why you felt so good with him. Therefore, you would see each other when your parents weren’t home. As you didn’t want to stay alone for another night, you had invited Steve to come. Knowing he was in the same situation, Steve had rang at your door thirty minutes later.

Laying on your bed, you were enjoying each other’s presence after your first intimate moment you had just shared. Steve had his arms wrapped around your hips, pressing your back against his torso.

“You know,” Steve started, whispering in your ear, “maybe you’re too late to be my first love, but you’ll always be my favourite. I like what we have.”

“Me too. I like you, Steve, a lot.” you told him, turning around to look at him.

“I like you a lot, too.” he replied, tenderly kissing you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the harsh voice of your father ordering you to come downstairs. You fastly wipe the tears away from your cheeks and prepare yourself for what your parents are about to tell you. While you’re walking down the stairs, your father makes a sign to go to the kitchen. You sit whilst your parents stay on their feet on the other side of the table, a severe expression on their faces.

“Is it true what your mother told me? You’re getting into fights now?” your dad says, angry.

“I was only defending myself, Jessica attacked me first.”

“Why would she attack you? I know her dad, she’s a nice girl.”

“She called me a slut and she accused me of stealing her boyfriend when I didn’t do anything.”

“Why does she say you did then?” your mom questions, annoyed.

“Because she’s against me like everyone else in this school!”

“Lower your tone, young lady.” your father orders.

“It’s about what she said about Steve and Nancy, isn’t it?” your mother wants to know with accusing eyes.

“Yes, they accuse me of breaking their relationship when it’s not the truth.”

“Because you never did anything with Steve, didn’t you?”

“How do-” you start, shocked to discover she knows.

“It’s a small town and you really thought the neighbours wouldn’t see you sneaking in a boy in our own house?”

“You sneaked in a boy?” your father angers.

“And according to Miss Johnson, it went on for several months,” your mom specifies, “aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

At this sentence, the tiny bit of hope you still had about your parents disappears. You can’t believe your own mother is against you. You’re getting used to the reputation people gave you but hearing your own mother implying you’re less than good because of your relationship is the final blow. You can’t understand how liking a boy could destroy everything.

“Steve and I got together after he broke up with Nancy, I almost wasn’t talking to him when he was still dating her. Steve was my boyfriend and we did nothing wrong!” you defend yourself, feeling the tears coming.

“Of course and you did nothing wrong when you attacked this poor Jessica.”

“Poor Jessica? She insulted me and hit me. I did nothing. Why don’t you want to believe me? I’m your own daughter and yet, you’d rather believe Jessica than me.”

“The facts are here!” Your father yells. “Besides, we should have reacted a long time ago, have you seen your grades? Do you really think you’re going to pass your year like this?”

“My grades are getting worse because I’m going through a living hell at school.”

“Stop playing the victim! We have enough of your behaviour. You have to do better and quickly. Go to your room right now! And don’t forget to apologise to Jessica.”

Tired of screaming in the void, you don’t answer your mother’s order and run to your room. Mad, you slam the door behind you. Normally, you’d be scared to hear more reproaches however at this moment, it’s the least of your concerns.

You throw yourself on your bed and you hold back a scream of frustration. You can’t understand why your own parents don’t have your back. They didn’t even try to listen to you, they only blame you some more. You know it’s stupid yet a part of you was hoping they would understand. You were wrong, no one is on your side; you didn’t think it possible, yet, you feel even more alone.

If you thought you already were the public enemy, the second you get back to school the following day, you realise it’s worse. Everyone is staring at you, you’re called even more names just like the whisperings got worse. You’re being even more discreet than usual - if it’s possible - wanting to keep to yourself.

In hindsight, you tell yourself you wouldn’t recommend dating boys with exes, it’s not worth all the pain and all the bullying that comes with it, in particular if the boy in question ignores you.

When you go to your last class of the day, you wish you could say you’re finally about to breathe but you still have detention. You have to stay at school a few more hours.

Sitting at your usual seat in your history class, you put your notebook on your desk. Your eyes land on the last page you wrote until they fall on the inscription carved on the desk: “the slut of Hawkins = Y/N.” It’s not the first time you see those words, it’s actually on this very table you discovered your life was about to change before you could do something about it. Despite the time, those words still feel like a knife in your chest. You distinctly remember the moment where everything fell apart.

You were behind the school building with Steve. You had been together for four months but contrary to the first three, it wasn’t going on so well between you two. You didn’t get along anymore. No matter your effort to hold him close, it was always ending in an argument. The main reason for it was that you were more invested in this relationship than Steve. You had noticed this the moment you had tried to get closer to him at school.

“I’m not asking for a lot, Steve! I’m not asking to make out with you in front of everyone, I just want to, at least, be able to talk with you without you ignoring me. I’m your girlfriend and yet, it looks like you don’t know me.” you pleaded, mad and desperate.

“You said you wanted to keep our relationship for us.” Steve retorted, avoiding your eyes.

“That was before it became more serious between us. I like you and I want to say you’re my boyfriend.”

“I know but you know that with Nancy-”

“What are you bringing her into this? She moved on, unlike you! She’s with Jonathan, I don’t think she cares if you’re dating again. Why are you searching for an excuse? I thought you liked me, too.”

“It’s true.”

“Really? It doesn’t look like it!” you said, outraged. “I feel like I’m alone in this relationship. Everytime I take a step towards you, you push me away. I’m getting tired of it. I don’t even know why I even try to save our relationship when it’s clear you don’t care.” you finished, going inside the building.

“Y/N, wait-” he tried to hold you back.

“No, we’re done, Steve!”

That day, you ended your relationship with Steve, signing at the same time the end of your peaceful life in high school. While you were arguing, someone had heard you and had twisted the whole story. Before you could react, the rumours had started to fly a few days later at school that you had ruined the relationship with Nancy and Steve by seducing him. There was nothing you could do to correct the rumours. Just because you liked a boy, you got judged as a homewrecked and you had to accept your sentence.

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

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