healmydesires - Tumblr blog

healmydesires · 4 days

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like real people do (joel miller x f!reader)

i will not ask you where you came from. i will not ask, and neither should you. honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips; we should just kiss, like real people do.

summary: a temporary arrangement leads to permanent feelings that joel can’t seem to shake — for you. but do you feel the same?

warnings: post-outbreak, jackson!joel, age gap (28/56), smutty thoughts & happenings, jealous!joel, angst, pining, reader has curves & wears joel’s jacket, masturbation (m), typical canon violence & weapons, graphic description of wounds, cursing, blood, food, alcohol, unprotected piv, 18+ minors dni.

notes: this is my contribution to @undercoverpena’s april showers challenge 💛 jo, you are such a light. thank you for organising this, i had the best time!

as ever, i am indebted to my flawless beta @macfrog - max, i can’t ever thank you enough for the way you transform my work. i love you. big love to @frannyzooey & @swiftispunk for the encouragement and reassurances. you both rock my world.

Joel shakes his head like a wet dog, wipes his brow so he can see past the droplets clinging to his lashes. He can just about make out the gates of Jackson in the heavy rain, the reins slipping between his hands. No matter, really. Blue knows his way; the horse’s damp ears pricking at the sight of home.

His only concern is you.

Joel twists in the saddle, ignoring the protesting muscles in his spine as the wind screams in his ears.

You’re behind him, just like he needs you to be.

You’re soaked, bleeding through his hasty bandaging, wincing in obvious pain. But you’re there. Upright, still breathing. He can heave a sigh of relief.

Today was a close call. Too fuckin’ close.

It’s not like Joel didn’t know you were going to be trouble.

He did. From the moment you showed up on his doorstep, his brother’s arm over your shoulder.

He knew.

Joel stirs to the sound of incessant knocking on his front door. Sunlight spills into his bedroom, a pool of honey over his sheets. He’s not due on patrol today; a rare twenty-four hours of freedom lay ahead of him. And he’d planned to spend a good portion of those in bed, or sat with his guitar.

Clearly, someone has other ideas.

“‘m comin’!” he shouts, cricking his neck and reaching for his jeans, discarded on the floor beside him. He figures he best pull on a shirt, too - he has no idea who’s pounding at his door, but at seven in the morning, on his day off?

Surely can’t be a sign of anything good.

Joel grumbles as he heads down the stairs, pulling at his zipper and shaking his head. This better be fuckin’ important. He reaches for the door none too gently, ready to reprimand whoever’s stood the other side.

He opens it to his brother.

Joel’s readying himself to launch into a tirade borne out of week-long exhaustion. He doesn’t expect to see Tommy’s arm round the shoulder of a terrified-looking young woman.

You.

You’re covered in grime, sneakers falling apart at the seams, shirt splattered with blood.

“Mornin’, Joel,” Tommy starts, his voice soft and pleading. Joel stares into eyes so like his own, waiting for an explanation.

“I’m needin’ a favour,” he continues. Joel’s gaze flits to you for a beat, and he swallows.

“I guess it couldn’t wait till after breakfast?”

Tommy’s laugh is strained, false grin tight across his cheeks as he squeezes your shoulder. “Don’t take no notice, darlin’. Bark’s worse’n his bite, I promise.”

“This young lady here arrived late last night,” he says as Joel folds his arms across his chest. “We found her up on the ridge, nobody else with her. As you know, the Pattersons took the last available house we got, and Harley’s nursery took up our spare room,” Tommy jerks his chin over the street, and Joel has a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Now that Ellie’s moved out ‘n all, Maria was — we — were wonderin’ if we could put her up here, with…With you,” he finishes, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Joel desperately wants to ask him if he’s lost his goddamn mind, but you’re looking at him with the same haunted gaze he’s become so familiar with in the past two decades.

Joel isn’t a monster. Those live outside the very walls that now keep him safe. He has no desire to ask how you made it past them, though; he knows you’ve seen things you never want to talk about again.

There’s something inside him: buried and dormant. It’s not your fault. You’re not asking Joel to house you, to spend his day off getting acquainted with you. You just look like you need a shower, and a week’s worth of sleep.

It’s not your fault.

“Temporarily?” he asks, clearing his throat as you stare at the ground. “Yes, Joel,” Tommy grimaces at his bluntness. “Temporarily.”

Tommy tells you to come find him and Maria when you’re settled, that they’ll fix you up with some more new clothes, give you some time to adjust. He hands you a backpack, and you step over the threshold. Tommy heads off with a curt glance towards his big brother, leaving the two of you alone.

You still haven’t said a word.

“‘m Joel,” he says as he closes the door, more gruffly than he means to. You nod, offering your name quietly in return. You look so fucking afraid of him, and he hates that. He holds out a hand to shake, and you take it.

Soft.

Your hands are so fucking soft. Your fingernails are caked with dirt, knuckles scarred, but your palms feel like warm velvet. Joel clears his throat, drops your hand like it’s burned him.

“This way, ma’am,” Joel instructs, a distant memory of his mama telling him to mind his manners. You follow him up the stairs, and he ushers you into the room that used to belong to Ellie. It’s empty now; Ellie having relocated her collection of belongings to the outhouse in the backyard.

“My, uh, kid used to stay here. She’s moved out, now,” Joel tells you, thumb pointing behind him. You’re nodding again; he can tell you’re exhausted, the way you’re moving like you’re carrying the weight of a thousand people on your shoulders. He knows that feeling, wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy.

“I’ll leave ya to it, then. Shower’s just down the hall, so feel free to use whatever’s in there. Won’t be anythin’ fancy, mind,” he shrugs, and is surprised when you smile at him in return. It opens up your whole face, lifts your eyes, a ray of sunlight carving a path between you both.

You study him for a second; Joel feeling your eyes assess him, straightening his back instinctively. “Here I was, expecting five stars,” you comment, and Joel’s taken aback by your gentle teasing, your quiet confidence.

For one strange moment, it’s like you’ve claimed the space already. Like this room has always been waiting for you, somehow.

“Don’t know what my baby brother’s been fillin’ your head with,” Joel smirks, “but I’ll try my best.”

You look at him one final time before he leaves the room.

“Counting on it.”

Joel learns that you’re twenty-eight, the only survivor from a group who broke away from the Kansas City QZ. He recognises the shadow that falls across your face when you tell him about it, knows all too well the living hell it became.

You compare stories with him one morning over a breakfast he prepares for you both, before you silently agree not to discuss it again. Jackson is a new start: a place all about reclaiming that sliver of human decency that’s left on the Earth, the one thread of connection and community that binds the residents together.

Joel wants you to know that.

Weeks turn into months, and before he knows it, Joel’s memorised your gait, your scent, the way you always forget the creak in the stop stair. He watches you with Ellie, how you understand their relationship with a slow nod of your head, no further questions asked.

You and Joel gossip with one another, leave notes scribbled in broken pencil. You bake for him, and in return he builds you a chair to join him on the porch. Joel remembers the jolt when you’d hugged him for it, kissed his whiskered cheek. So goddamn soft.

He begins to feel a creeping shame over the way he’d treated you on that first day; broken and worn down on his steps. Joel had no idea how peacefully you’d co-exist: sharing meals and laundry loads like two normal housemates would, if the world wasn’t so fucked.

The fact that you’re so beautiful is neither here nor there.

Joel’s tried not to notice it.

Your smooth skin, the curves of your body beneath the shapeless clothes Maria’s given you. Unfortunately, he knows just what you’ve got on under them. He almost felt lightheaded one day watching you hang your panties out to dry: delicate, wispy things; items he has no idea how you got your hands on.

Before long, Tommy’s prepping you to start patrol, and Joel makes time one evening to reassure you about it. He can tell you’re nervous, the way your hands are twisting, rubbing at your forehead frantically.

“If you really don’t want to do it, you don’t have to,” Joel offers, and you sigh.

“Nah. It’s about time I started pulling my weight around here.”

Joel smiles at your tenacity, the way your mouth sets firmly. “Alright, then. Want to go over the routes one last time?”

Your eyes are wide in thanks, staring up at him from the couch, blinking through your lashes. Everything about the situation is innocent, besides every single thought running through Joel’s mind.

Tommy put this girl with you in good faith, asshole.

Woman.

Not a girl.

He reminds himself of that when he’s in the shower that night; tugging frantically at himself, thinking about the tight curve of your ass in the jeans you’d traded for.

Yeah. You were fucking trouble alright.

“I always wanted to be a teacher, back when I was a kid,” you tell him one night, as Joel clears the soup bowls away. “Miss Macy, she was my favourite, kinda inspired me in a way. I loved English; reading, writing, all these imaginary worlds I’d create. I’d still like to do it, if I can.”

Joel loves the way you laugh when you share stories of your childhood. It’s the same kind delight he sees on your face watching Jackson’s children giggling as they chase each other round the streets, playing tag and missing dinner time.

“Teach?”

You nod, and Joel’s suddenly back in Texas, Sarah tugging on his hand across the parking lot as they head towards her parent-teacher conference. Sarah’s a hard worker, and fantastically talented when she applies herself. Unfortunately, she lets herself be distracted by other students, and I’ve had to separate the group several times.

He smiles. “Scary bunch, teachers.”

He watches your eyes roll, chin resting on your hands. The light outside is fading, both of you full with a warm dinner. Your movements are languid; the way your fingers dance across your collarbone, the way your shirt rides up a little when you stretch your arms out above you.

Again, Joel tries not to notice it: the sliver of bare skin above your waistband, gentle fingertips he’s found himself thinking about more often than he really should.

“Big, bad Joel Miller? Afraid of me?”

Now it’s his turn to roll his eyes, throwing a rag in your direction so you can help him with the drying up. “Maybe in your dreams, darlin’.”

You smirk, taking your place beside him as he hands you the cutlery. With difficulty, he pushes all thoughts of your soft body and kind eyes from his mind.

Joel bears witness to you thriving in Jackson, unfurling like a butterfly born in the spring. You make friends, tell him all about them each evening as you trade stories about your day. Soon, you’re invited to gatherings that he isn’t, and you tell him stories about people he’s never met. He hears you come in late, starts to notice that you don’t rise to join him at breakfast.

Still, he doesn’t ask Tommy just when this temporary agreement might come to an end. For some reason, he just can’t find it in him.

Joel figures you won’t want to spend all your precious free time with a man pushing sixty, so he’s not mad about it. You’re not family, but he thinks you’re starting, maybe, to become a friend.

He makes the most of Ellie when he can, watches her glow when she talks about Dina. Tommy’s the same: content with his life with Maria and Harley, Joel’s nephew. He can hardly believe - even after two years in Jackson - how life just goes on. Despite it all, people found a way.

Joel finds himself thinking about Sarah a little more than usual. He can’t bring himself to process the fact his baby would be thirty-four now; maybe married, career of her own. She’ll forever be fourteen to him: curls bouncing, soccer trophy under her arm, innocence in her heart.

Joel tells you about her one day; tells you how, for the first time in twenty years, he’s been able to just stop and give time to his thoughts. To sit with them, feel the ache bloom in his heart. No need to fight for his life every day, to make sure he sees another sunrise. He’s not sure if it’s a good or bad thing.

“It can be both, Joel,” you say, wrapped in a blanket he brought out to you. You’re sat on the front porch together, chairs side by side, watching fireflies dancing in the late afternoon light.

“Yeah?”

You nod, and move to take his hand. Something stops you, letting it fall into your lap. There’s something in your gaze that tells him you’ve felt the same pain, bled the way he has. Joel clears his throat, asking if you want another drink.

“No, thanks. Especially if it’s that fucking whiskey,” you grimace, and he chuckles, rolling the tumbler in his hand. Your profanities make him smile; he’s let you spend too much time with Ellie.

“You really hate it that much?”

“Uhuh,” you mutter, getting to your feet. “Hey, Ryan is having a few of us over for a card game evening. I’ll be back late, so don’t wait up,” you inform him, with that grin he’s become so fond of.

Joel tells you to have a great night, watching your retreating figure head into the dusk. He collapses into sleep on the couch not long after, book resting on his belly when he wakes to the sound of the front door opening.

“You really didn’t need to walk me back,” you giggle, and Joel stays frozen in the dark. He shouldn’t. It’s rude to eavesdrop, to listen in to your private conversations.

Still. He doesn’t move.

“S’okay. Still sharing a place with Miller, then?” he hears Ryan ask, and he assumes you nod in lieu of a reply. “Heard he can be a pain in the ass,” he adds, and Joel listens to your tinkling laugh. “He’s alright.”

“Hopefully you’ll get a house of your own soon, though, without an some old guy hanging around. You can start hosting me instead,” Ryan continues, and Joel fails to miss the suggestive undercurrent in his tone; the way it makes his jaw tick.

He doesn’t hear your response, and the door shuts with a click. You switch the lamp on, gasping in surprise to see Joel sat there. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you,” you say softly, and Joel just shrugs, frowning.

He watches you move around the kitchen - his kitchen - with a familiar ease, seeking a glass to pour some water, searching for a hunk of cheese to nibble on. Again, Joel’s hit with that feeling he had on that first day he took you to your room: this house has always been waiting for you, the lock aching for the slide of your key.

Which is why the notion of you leaving causes him so much pain.

“Guess you won’t have to worry about wakin’ anyone when you get your own place.”

He hates how petulant he sounds, but he can’t help it. Joel hasn’t been that short with you in a long time; he can see on your face how taken aback you are.

“You heard that, huh?” you ask, watching him over the rim of your glass.

“Yeah. Y’can always speak to Tommy, see if there’s anything goin’. If you feel trapped here, that is.”

You sigh, hands flat on the dining table. Joel built it himself: not his finest work, a little rough around the edges.

A direct reflection of how he feels right now.

“You don’t want me here anymore?” you ask, face half shrouded in darkness, half lit in an orange glow.

Joel chews his lip, watching you blink at him.

“Just sayin’. This wasn’t ever meant to be permanent, anyway,” he mutters, scratching the back of his head. You fold your arms across your chest; eyes narrowing. You look.. You look hurt.

By him.

“Ryan seems like a good kid. ‘m sure he’d treat you right.”

Joel knows he’s projecting his own insecurities onto you. He’s fucking afraid: he’s come to care for you so much more than he realised, and every time Joel cares about someone, he loses them.

A bite. A bullet. A new family.

But this? For some reason, this cuts just as deep. Joel won’t let it happen again. No matter how bad he wants you.

“Where’s all this coming from?” you ask. You’re quiet, voice flat with disappointment. It makes Joel’s heart ache; he’d rather you told him to fuck off, call him out for being a dick, tell him you’ll pack your stuff and go.

You don’t.

Your shoulders just slump when he doesn’t respond, staring at him imploringly.

“Well?”

Joel should tell you he doesn’t want you to leave, not in the slightest. All he wants to do is kiss you, crush your lips to his, run his tongue over every inch of your flesh, slide inside you and make you scream his name. Tell you he’s better for you than anyone else in Jackson; that he can take care of you, keep your bed warm every night, better than any fucker half his age.

But he doesn’t.

He just lets you go, watching as you shake your head and turn on your heel, leaving him alone in the dark.

Breakfast the next morning is a solemn affair.

You’re already gone - which isn’t unusual - but there’s no note from you, no sandwiches wrapped in paper to take out for patrol. Joel feels a little disgruntled: it’s your turn to prep them today, as per the agreement you have when you’re both scheduled for a shift.

You must be really pissed at him.

He wolfs down his bacon, throws on his jacket. It needs patching up, almost worn through at both the elbows. Joel recalls you telling him you’re nifty with a needle and thread, that you’ll do it for him at the weekend.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never learned how to sew,” you smirk, sizing up his jacket, throwing it over your shoulders. Joel can’t help but admit how good it looks on you; the fact you’re wearing his clothes doing something inexplicable to his groin.

“Just like you never learned how to drink?” he teases you, and you hold up your hands in defeat. “And don’t be forgettin’ I made you a whole goddamn chair.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you sing, admiring yourself in the cracked mirror. Joel shakes his head; eyes lingering on the tilt of your hips, the way your breasts push at the fabric.

“Guess I owe you.”

He supposes he’s better off taking it to the seamstress on Main Street, now.

The sky outside is grey to match his mood, brewing ominously with the threat of rain. Nothin’ worse than patrol in the rain. Boggy trails and limited visibility never work in anyone’s favour, and he prays for an uneventful shift.

Blue’s tacked up and ready for him; Joel slips the horse an apple from his pocket, pulling at his forelock gently as he says hello.

“Gotta stay outta trouble today, boy. We’ll be home soon enough.”

He hears his sister-in-law’s voice from outside the stable, calling his name.

“Mornin’, Maria.”

She smiles, hands on her hips as Joel leans against the stable door. “Your brother has done an irresponsible thing and gotten sick,” she sighs, eyebrows raised.

“Y’sure he ain’t just had some bad eggs?” Joel chuckles, and Maria shakes her head.

“Judging by the way he’s shivering, I think it’s the real deal. In any case, we need you to take his partner today,” she tells Joel, thumb over her shoulder.

She moves aside, and he freezes.

Fuck.

Of course: it’s you.

You’re adjusting Shimmer’s stirrups, unaware Joel’s even there. Those goddamn jeans sticking to your thighs like glue, eyes rimmed red like you haven’t slept.

Maria continues, tapping her foot. “I’m assuming that won’t be a problem? She’s still settling into it, as you well know, and we haven’t had her go up —”

“S’fine. Not a problem.”

Maria raises her eyebrows at Joel’s brusqueness, turning on her heel and leaving the stables.

You look up, watching her go. Joel swallows as your gaze tracks upwards, locking with his.

“Hey.”

He nods, clearing his throat. “Look, I know this ain’t ideal, but we’ll talk when we’re back. Yeah?”

You roll your eyes, laugh sarcastically. You brush past him, knocking into his shoulder as you go.

“Counting on it.”

Joel scrawls both your names in the log book, heaves his rucksack back onto his shoulders. They’re aching, as per usual. Almost as stiff and awkward as the whole morning with you has been.

“We all good to go home?”

It’s the first sentence you’ve uttered since you both left Jackson, your tone still clipped, not leaving much room for any forgiveness.

Home.

Joel wonders if that looks different to you now; wonders how soon he can expect your possessions in boxes by the front door, to see the disappointment in his brother’s face when he hears how unreasonable he was towards you.

All because he doesn’t know how to fucking tell you.

The descent back to Jackson from the ski lodge is slow, clouds low and threatening in the sky. Thunder echoes atop the mountain ridges, lightening flashing across the jagged peaks.

Then, the rain comes.

It starts as a drizzle, just enough to dampen the leaves on the trees, for Joel to hear you sigh disdainfully behind him. “Stay close,” he calls, and you tell him you will.

Soon, the rain falls in a barrage, hammering down on you both as your charges slide in the dirt. Joel’s soaked to the bone, the storm moving directly overhead as the sky flickers and crackles above.

He doesn’t like this. Not one fuckin’ bit.

He feels exposed, vulnerable, the hairs on the back of his neck raised; an ancient warning sign —

“Joel!”

Your scream is agonised, drawn-out, hurtling past him in the swirling wind. He wheels Blue around, startled.

Three men. Two guns, from what he can see. A machete.

Shimmer rears high on her hind legs in panic, one of the fuckers dragging you from the saddle. Another has his gun aimed at your head; the third is advancing towards Joel, silver weapon brandished in his hand.

Their faces are gaunt, eyes sunken. They’ll murder you both, take anything they can find, leave your bodies to rot until you’re found by the next band of raiders, or worse.

You fall to the ground with sickening crunch, still yelling his name, body crumpling against the exposed rock.

No time to think. He needs you to survive.

One, two, three.

The shots ring out through the valley in quick succession, blood soaking through the shirts of your attackers. They fall like marionettes, slithering to their deaths amongst the grass and mud.

Joel dismounts, scrambling to get to you. You’re not unconscious, thankfully. No obvious wounds to your head, either; Joel cradles your face in his hands, asking you to tell him your name, to open your eyes.

“My back, Joel. My fucking back,” you moan, and he grits his teeth, turning you on your side as gently as he can. You cry out in pain, and he sees the laceration above your hip, your skin sliced open.

“You’re okay, baby. I’ve got you,” Joel reassures you instinctively, shrugging his rucksack off to retrieve the bandages he needs

You grip his forearm, fingernails piercing him. “Don’t leave me, Joel,” your voice breaks, tears joining the wetness on your face as Joel swipes a thumb across your cheekbone.

You’re still miles from Jackson, bleeding out onto the rock beneath you, horses loose in the valley. The rain pounds, the wind howls, and Joel makes his promise.

“Never.”

Maria puts you on bed rest for a week.

You recuperate, slowly but surely. Joel had carried you to Jackson’s version of an infirmary, watched your wound be painstakingly stitched up. Turns out, the fall had smashed two of your ribs, too.

Joel nearly chews his lip in half when he finds out.

So fucking stupid. He should’ve insisted you go in front, acted more on instinct. Joel was supposed to take care of you, keep you safe.

Hasn’t he learned?

You’re due back home today. Joel’s changed your bed linen, lit a fire in the sitting room, gathered some flowers to fill the cracked vase you covet on your nightstand. The arrangement was clumsy, but he hopes it’ll be the first step he can take on the path back into your life.

At the very least, Joel hopes they make you smile.

You arrive when he’s pouring your favourite soup into two bowls, setting them at opposite ends of the table. It hurts him to do so, considering you’d usually sit side-by-side, stealing the bread off his plate, your legs folded underneath as you caught up about your day.

Still. He has to take this slowly.

“You didn’t have to do all of this, Joel,” you say softly, and he shrugs.

“Figured we’d need to build your strength back up,” he says, pulling your chair out for you.

“And soup is the way to do that?”

“Quit arguin’,” he chides gently, setting your dinner down in front of you. Candles burn in the centre of the table, the night closing in outside. Everything is quiet for a while, spoons scraping against decades-old china as Joel sits with you — and his thoughts.

“So.”

He looks up, watches you settle back in your chair. You swallow, picking at your nails, avoiding eye contact. Joel waits, doesn’t want to interrupt whatever it is you’re finding hard to say.

“I feel like almost dying has put some things into perspective for me,” you say, and Joel can’t help but laugh at your sarcasm, and soon enough you’re giggling too, until you wince sharply.

“That bad, huh?” Joel murmurs, and you nod, hand over the bones that broke. “You mind if I go sit on the couch?” you ask, and Joel comes to help you to your feet, your hand in his.

Fuck, he’s missed it. Soft, warm and smooth.

Once you’re settled, he sits at the other end, still keen to give you space. “You know what? I think I want a whiskey,” you muse, leaning into the cushions. “Will you join me?”

Joel’s eyes narrow in confusion, but he fetches the tumblers anyway, sets them down on the coffee table. He pours you a small measure and hands it to you tentatively.

“I didn’t think you’d hit your head when you fell. Maybe I was wrong,” he comments, and you roll your eyes, swirling the amber liquid and observing it closely.

“Maybe you were.”

You toss it back, and Joel does the same.

“God, no. Definitely still tastes like shit,” you splutter, face contorted as you swallow the liquid down. Joel can’t help but grin as he watches you place the glass on the table, soft features glowing in the orange flames.

He feels the instant hit of alcohol in his bloodstream, loosening him up and relaxing his muscles. He lays back on the couch, head lolling as he turns to look at you.

“I wanted to say thank you. Y’know, for saving my life,” you tell him, staring into the fire burning in the grate. Joel can’t believe what he’s hearing; for a moment he sits stunned, unsure what to say.

“It was my fault. I was too slow, and too fuckin’ deaf to hear ‘em comin’” he admits. “I’m not who I was. Years ago, I would’ve destroyed ‘em. I’m sorry — fuck, I’m so sorry. You nearly died, because of me” Joel sighs, and you reach out to take his hand.

“Joel, I’m alive because of you. Nobody could’ve known that was going to happen - there’s been no talk of raiders for months now. Guess we both just got complacent,” you tell him, and Joel tsks under his breath.

“You’re still new to patrol. I should’ve let you go in front, brought up the rear. I can’t stop thinkin’ about it,” he whispers, and is horrified to find himself close to tears. “‘specially after the way I behaved the night before.”

You squeeze his palm gently, the firelight flickering in your eyes. “I want to leave it in the past. But if you don’t want me here, I need you to tell me.”

Joel faces you properly, holding your gaze for the first time all evening. For you to still think he doesn’t want you here breaks him: after the sleepless nights he’s had, tossing and turning, the echoes of your scream breaking him into a sweat that never dies.

“It.. It ain’t that. Hell, I love havin’ you here. I’m ashamed I ever made you feel like I don’t.”

You smile shyly, releasing his hand. “Then, why..?”

Joel breathes out, long and hard.

“You started movin’ on with your life. You didn’t need me as much, and I guess I let that hurt me. I let you down with how I reacted.”

“I appreciate you telling me,” you murmur, but your smile doesn’t reach your eyes, like it’s not what you wanted to hear. Joel’s puzzled, praying he hasn’t done anything wrong.

The atmosphere still feels tense, like you’re waiting for him to say more.

Like you know there is more.

“You look different, by the way.”

Your gaze find his as he digests your statement, and you tilt your head, lip pulled between your teeth. Joel wishes you wouldn’t fucking do that.

You’re twenty-eight, for Christ’s sake.

He’s fifty-six. He’ll go to hell for what he wants to do to you right now. You don’t want him: you want Ryan, someone your age, someone who can offer you stability and safety in the way he so clearly can’t.

“Oh, yeah?” he asks anyway, feeling his breath shorten as you lean in closer to him. Your skin is so smooth; reflected in the firelight, breasts fighting against the tank top you’re wearing.

Joel can smell vanilla, wants to taste it, too. But he can’t.

“More.. Relaxed. No frowning,” you tease, reaching out a thumb to his forehead, pretending to smooth out the crease that usually has a home there.

“Could say the same f’you, too.”

You smile, and suddenly you’re right beside him — above him, and Joel knows he’s powerless to stop you. The whiskey is warm in his veins, and he wants you. So, so badly.

You hitch a leg over his jeans, trap him beneath you.

“You know, I’ve had just about enough of you.”

Your hands are slipping from his shoulders, down the planes of his chest. Joel can’t help himself; he cants his hips up into you, relishing your gasp, the way you’re already so frantic for him.

Your lips beg for permission messily against his, thighs squeezing him tight. Joel grants it gladly; savours the taste of your tongue in his mouth, the way your breasts feel against his coarse fingertips as he ventures carefully under your flimsy shirt.

Your skin is hot beneath his touch, and he wants to tell you how good you are; letting him touch you like this, letting him pinch the pebbled flesh he finds, soothing it over with his mouth. He manages to be mindful of your sore ribs, the gauze above your hip, but it’s not without trying.

Joel’s so caught up in you: the sweet sounds you’re making as you kiss him so deeply, the way you pull at his hair, grind down onto him. He’s painfully, pathetically hard; it’s only when you come up for air that he takes a second to think.

Fuck.

“Hey — look,” he starts to withdraw, hands moving to your shoulders, holding you back. You pause, eyes narrowed, realisation dawning across your features.

You shuffle out of his lap like you’re ashamed. “I’m sorry, Joel. That was — that was too much.”

“No, don’t be,” he sighs, longing to reach out and cup your jaw in his hand, pull you back to where he so desperately wants you to be. “It’s the whiskey talkin’.”

You smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. You won’t look at him; gaze cast downwards, swallowing thickly.

“It’s not.”

You say it so quietly, Joel wonders if he’s imagined it.

“No?”

You shake your head, and Joel breathes out, capturing your chin with his finger. His heart is hammering in his chest; your lips are parted, sweat dewing in the column of your throat.

You’re so fucking beautiful.

“I want you, Joel. I know you think you’re not worthy, or too old, or whatever you’ve made yourself believe. I haven’t been able to do anything but lie there and think, for a whole seven days. You know what I thought about?”

Joel waits, agonised.

“You. Everything you’ve taught me, shared with me. The way you’ve let me into your life, into Ellie’s. I turned up here alone, and now I’ve never felt less lonely. I don’t want to give that up. I don’t want to give you up,” you tell him, and press your lips to his.

“If you’ll have me, Joel, I’d like to stay forever. You and I, in our chairs, eating soup.”

Joel’s grinning now, tugging you back to him gently. “You mean that, pretty girl?”

“Uhuh. And forever starts now,” you press your forehead to his, then pull him to his feet. You keep hold of his hand, traipsing through the darkness, past walls you know so well.

It’s heaven. You’re heaven.

Joel wants to take it slow, but he can’t: not with you. He takes his time, though, sliding your shirt off your head, pressing a kiss to your battered ribs.

Your jeans drop to the floor soon after, and finally, you’re bare for him. He’s salivating; you’re a vision, soft and supple as he runs his hands along your thighs, the curves of your tummy, up over your sternum.

Joel revels in the sounds you make, the way you’re so responsive to him, whimpering as his hand closes over your throat gently, tongue back inside your mouth with a renewed ferocity.

“Wanted this for too damn long,” he says gruffly, hand under the bend of your knee, your body so pliant beneath him. You arch your back wantonly as he touches you, teeth sinking into his neck, red marks from your nails down his back.

“I’m yours, Joel. Just like I said.”

Joel slides into the wet, slippery heart of you, both of you groaning at the stretch, the shared feeling of euphoria.

Home.

#fuck #this was so so so gooddddddddd #fic recs #joel miller

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healmydesires · 6 days

Text

— insp

#I need my pretty loserboy #anakin skywalker

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healmydesires · 6 days

Text

if you make me feel in love, then I’ll blossom for you ❅ (a.s)

PART ONE

❅ pairing: Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader

❅ summary: The morning after Anakin and you have finally confessed your love for each other, your friends can't help but tease you relentlessly about your new relationship. OR the one where you both have morning sex.

❅ genre: fluff + smut (18+ mdni) modern!au

❅ word count: 5,3k

❅ warnings/tags: morning after part one! friends to lovers, childhood friends to lovers kinda, reader is described as shorter than anakin, it’s kinda filthy but in a sweet way idk, inexperienced reader, morning sex, unprotected sex, piv sex, soft!dom anakin, ok… just kinda a softer anakin, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), doggy, spooning, multiple orgasms, creampie, size kink, praise kink, overstimulation, lots of pet names. some minimal use of “daddy” I’m sorry 🫣 I couldn’t help myself. reader has hair to pull. breeding kink. + it’s nasty & cute then full of fluff & lots of banter between them and their friends. ahsoka loves to tease her friends. this is not beta read sorry!

❅ a/n: GUESS WHAT!!! user healmydesires is back!!! and I’m finally here to deliver part two of this fic! I know it was long overdue but 😭 I couldn’t find the inspiration… it’s really all up to the “voices”. bdhdhdjd anyways enjoy!

AO3 • masterlist

❅⋆* ☾ ⋆* ❅･ﾟ:⋆* ❅･ﾟ

Morning light slips through the partially open blinds and warms the room. Barely awake you yawn, stretching your limbs and a smile plays on your face once you’re done.

At your movement, your new boyfriend turns over in bed and wraps his arm around you, tugging you closer to him until your back is pressed up against his warm chest. You can feel his warm breath on your neck, soft and slow.

You bite your lip as he nuzzles against you. Rolling over, you’re met with Anakin’s sleepy face. You smile once again as you take in his soft and peaceful face, you bring one of your hands to trace his lips with your fingertips. Your fingers travel to his messy morning hair, running your fingers through his hair gently.

Anakin sighs softly before tugging your body closer to his once again. You roll your body over again and then your eyes start to drift shut again, sleep dragging you under. You feel so content, being able to hold and just enjoy the morning with the love of your life. But before you can fall asleep once again, you feel Anakin’s lips on your neck.

"Ani," you mumble sleepily, "what are you doing, baby?" You giggle, attempting to wiggle away from him, but his grip tightens around your waist, pulling you closer to his body once again.

Nuzzling his face against your neck, he whispers, "You're so warm and so beautiful…" his fingers tracing your back with gentle caresses, the softness of his fingertips against your skin sending shivers down your spine. “So soft.”

You chuckle softly as he continues to kiss your neck, relishing in the warmth of his embrace as he holds your naked body against his, enveloping you in a comforting cuddle once again.

“Ani,” Your whines slowly turn into soft moans as he continues to kiss your neck. Anakin’s switching between soft small chaste kisses to wet and deep kisses that you know will leave marks on your skin.

“Yes baby?” He whispers against your neck before his kisses travel to your jaw, nipping at it gently making you a whimpering mess. He is so warm against you, cocooning you in his arms and making you melt against his touch. You feel more wetness pool down low between your thighs the more he touches and kisses you.

Rubbing your legs against each other, to get some friction, you hear your boyfriend chuckle before one of his legs comes closer to yours, pushing your legs apart for him. Then he slips his fingers between your thighs, running two fingers along your slit before circling your clitoris slowly.

“You’re so wet, baby. Is this all for me?” he groans, a teasing smile on his perfect lips.

His other hand grabs your face, pulling your face as close as possible from this angle.

“Ah fuck,” you mewl, and he kisses the corner of your mouth, his tongue flicking out to taste your lips for the first time.

He presses his mouth to yours, kissing you fully before parting just enough to whisper, “Shh, baby, we gotta keep quiet,” against your lips. His actions, however, contradicted his words, as he moves his hand down and curls two fingers inside you, rubbing the meat of his palm against your clit as he slides his fingers in and out of you. Each movement sends waves of pleasure through your body.

He moves his head just slightly, his mouth engulfing yours in a deep and slow kiss. You whimper for him, trying so hard to keep quiet, but when he brings his fingers back up to your clit, rubbing even harder now, you give up on that, moaning out his name so loud you’re certain the whole cabin has heard you by now. Anakin seems to give up on it too, rubbing your clit hard and chasing after your pleasure, feeling you squirm and twitch and writhe in his arms as you gasp and moan against his lips.

You struggle to catch your breath as he kisses you passionately, his lips igniting a fiery longing within you. As your lips part, you inhale deeply, tasting only him, the sensation lulling you into a sleepy haze. His tongue sweeps across your bottom lip, eliciting a soft whine from you, and as his wet muscle intertwines with yours, you moan against his mouth. One of his hands ventures down to your front, then towards your abdomen, giving it a gentle but firm push, intensifying the desire between you.

“Come on sweetheart, be a good girl and ride my fingers.” He groans as he closes his eyes as he moves his fingers inside you steadily. You nod against him as you start moving your hips against his hand. The kiss is still so deep, tongues lazily slipping around each other in a slow dance. You feel so overwhelmed easily, your heart hammering against your chest as you roll your hips down on his hand. Grinding your sensitive clit against the meat of his palm. You feel so hot, everything feels so warm and sticky, your body feels on fire.

Anakin’s giving you everything you need. Though, you need more. “My good, sweet girl. You’re my everything. I love you so much.” He starts grinding his cock against your ass, and when you try to reach back and grab him, he stops you, grabbing you by your wrist while his other hand still fucks your pussy.

“Ani,” you whine, grinding back against him, your needy pussy clenching down on his fingers.

“Baby, no,” he whispers as he releases the hold on your hand, which swiftly moves towards his hair, gripping it gently but firmly, a silent plea for him to give you more. He groans as you tug “let me take care of you.”

“But Ani, I need more. I want you.” you moan desperately. Anakin makes a low noise in his throat when you rub your wetness against his cock, while his fingers are still fucking you. “Please.” You whimper as you hook your leg over him, spreading you as wide as you can while laying on your side.

“You want me right now?” he asks, as he continues to finger fuck your pussy. “You want me to take you like this?”

“Yes,” you sigh, closing your eyes at just the thought of being filled all over again, just like last night. “Want you more than anything, Ani. Take me, right now. Please.”

Anakin growls at that, a noise that makes your eyes almost roll back in your head. As he pulls his fingers out of your pussy, you expect him to replace them with his cock but he surprises you by rolling you onto your stomach.

He positions himself behind you, his mouth pressing soft kisses all the way down your back, each touch imbued with love and affection, causing you to melt into his embrace despite your body yearning for more.

Once he reaches down to your pussy he groans at the sight. Your pussy is utterly soaked and clenches around nothing as it begs to be filled.

He holds your hips tilting them up, before he grabs the globes of your ass, spreading them apart. “Ani, pleasepleaseplease—” your begging gets cut off by a high pitched whimper as his mouth dives between your thighs.

Licking a long stripe along your slit, coaxing a loud, broken moan out of you. Anakin’s hands grip your hips, keeping you in place as he laps at you furiously. You writhe against his lips, whining and pleading for more.

He encircles your clit and sucks, pulling whimpering pleas from your mouth. It’s heavenly addicting, the way Anakin’s tongue slips between your folds and dips into you, working you closer and closer to your release within each passing second.

His hands move to your ass, kneading the two cheeks as he lets you grind your hips back against his face. Sweet little noises of ecstasy leave your lips as he continues to lick and suck at your pussy.

His tongue, moving slowly against your clit, as his fingers move towards your clenching hole, pushing two of his digits inside you. The wet squelching sounds makes Anakin moan into your clit, causing vibrations that make your body tremble and shake. He curls his fingers against your most sensitive spot inside you, making you grind your hips against him.

Your walls hug every surface and ridge of his thick fingers, the sensation making your toes curl. Anakin’s mouth lavishes your pussy with his tongue while he moans every now and then against you. Your hips continue to move against his face, picking up your pace gradually. Your head reels with pleasure once his tongue presses down on your needy aching clit.

You are so so close. Suddenly you feel his fingers retreat from your core and you whine at the loss of his fingers. Anakin's chuckle of amusement rumbles against your skin, his breath warm against your thighs. Your hands, move to the sheets. He leans down once again, slipping his tongue into your entrance, he curls the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encourages him to do it again.

You’re a mess of his name, you chant his name over and over again. Your hips move against his face as you continue to whimper and moan breathlessly underneath him. Writhing below him, you feel him lick up and press against a sensitive spot that has you seeing stars, while your hips buck against his face uncontrollably.

Defiance and greed consume your thoughts, driving your hips to press against his face, urging his tongue deeper into your core, as the intensity of your desire reaches its peak, igniting a primal hunger between you and Anakin.

“Ahhh Aniiii—” you drag out. You’re truly so close, you just need one more little push.

“Come for me kitten,” he whispers against you, before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb comes up to press against your little bundle of nerves. That does it, you come against his mouth, your whole body trembling. You come with a loud whine, your hips stuttering as your vision turns white. You cry out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. You grasp the sheets in your hands with intense pleasure. Your hips push so far against his face, you almost think you are suffocating him.

Your pussy keeps clenching around his tongue as he continues to pleasure you. Your hips are stuttering until the final waves of aftershock have passed. Gently, he laps at your release until the overstimulation is getting too much.

“Ani,” you whimper.

His hands caress your ass fondly as he pulls his mouth away from your throbbing heat.

“You did so well for me baby, doing amazing. Such a good girl. I can never get enough of how good you taste.” He murmurs.

You whimper at both his words and the overwhelming sensitivity coursing through your body. As you tremble and gradually descend from your euphoric state, he leans in to plant wet kisses along the path to your neck. Your whimpers, whines, and moans persist as he lavishes your body with his tender touch and affectionate caresses.

“I love you so much baby.” Anakin whispers as he nuzzles his head between your neck and your shoulder.

In the embrace of his words, touch, and kisses, you feel yourself melting. “I love you too,” you whisper back as Anakin presses open-mouthed kisses against your neck, shoulders, and jaw, leaving you a whimpering mess. You’re wiggling your hips against him, positioning his hard length between your ass cheeks. Anakin’s hands come to grab your hips with a loud groan.

As you continue to squirm under him, his cock slides against your pussy. The action makes both of you moan and your body trembles with anticipation, hoping he would finally enter you from behind. You feel your inner walls clenching around nothing as you move your hips against his, grinding your wetness against his massive cock, the tip nudging your clit and entrance every now and then.

“You tell me if it’s too much?” He breathes against your ear.

You bite your lips as you nod, as you continue to grind your cunt against him, turning his cock slick with your arousal, and he has no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting his cock against your entrance. He groans as he moves his body against yours, leaving you breathless. You feel your pussy pulse and continue to squeeze around nothing, practically begging for his cock.

“Need your words baby,” he stills his movements right as his tip nudges your entrance.

You grab the sheets between your hands as you whine. “Yes, Ani. I’ll tell you.” Your hips move backwards trying to push his cock inside your tight and slick hole. But Anakin is quick to halt your motions by holding your hips firmly, taking control instantly.

“Please,” you whine.

Anakin releases one hand from your hips, reaching down to grasp himself and line up with your entrance. He rubs and circles the tip firmly over your clenching hole.

“F-fuck, Anakin please. I can’t do this anymore, I just need you so bad. Ani, my pussy needs you. Needs your cock, needs your cum. Please d-daddy. Fill this little hole up, breed this pussy. Ani pleaseplease—”

At your words Anakin growls, pushing your legs further apart. A broken gasp leaves your lips as he finally slides the tip inside you. You feel his body moving behind you, sitting up against you, and you know his eyes are on your pussy. He’s watching as your walls spread as it wraps around his thickness. You whimper at the new angle as you try to accommodate his girth. He can barely get more of it in your tight walls at first, eventually using more force to open you up for him. It feels like you are being torn open, split in half.

“A-A-Ani…” you stutter and mewl.

“I know baby girl, I know.” Anakin moans as he gradually slides more of his cock inside you and you tremble more underneath him. Your pulsing walls are wrapped tightly around his cock, as your pussy pulls him in more. The pressure of his massive dick deep within your walls overwhelms you while you clutch the sheets below you in tight fists.

“Ah, fuck— daddy… you’re so big.” You whimper.

“You take me so well sweet girl. Being such a good girl for daddy.” He moans as he leans down to press a soft kiss against your cheek, as he keeps pushing more of his girth in you slowly. You feel so full already and you know he’s barely halfway in.

“‘S too much.” You hiccup as he slides more of him inside you. “So full.”

“Doing so good for me.” He moans against your ear.

The whines and whimpers and moans keep spilling from your lips as Anakin continues to push deeper and deeper. Your hands continue to grip the sheets between your fingers as he penetrates your tight walls.

“Please, Ani. I need more.” You mewl as you try to push back against him wanting more of his dick. “I can t-take it.”

Anakin groans at your desperate whines, losing his composure momentarily as he thrusts the rest of his length all the way inside your heat. The head of his cock touching your cervix once he bottoms out. A scream leaves your mouth as you’re trembling underneath him, trying to adjust to his size while your pussy keeps clenching around his thickness. You push your head into the pillows as pathetic whimpers keep falling from your lips.

“Shit, you’re so fucking tight.” He hisses. Both of his hands move to grab at your ass cheeks, kneading them slowly and gently.

You moan and squeeze around his cock at his words and his touch leaving him panting above you.

“Please, more.”

“Patience.” He groans as you keep pulsing around his length. “Fuck, poor pussy is so desperate for daddy.” He can’t help the words that are leaving his mouth as he pulls himself almost all the way out of your pussy, making you whine at the empty feeling. “So fucking needy.” Anakin groans before he thrusts himself all the way inside your cunt again.

“Oh fuck, oh my g-god.” you hiccup as he moves his hips slowly but hard against you. You cry out as he thrusts so deep inside you that it has your body slumping against the bed.

You continue to moan, arching your back and pressing your ass up against him, he keeps the angle perfect as he starts rolling his hips deeply into you. You feel his cock throbbing inside you as you tighten around him. He’s so deep, hitting your cervix repeatedly making your eyes roll back in your head.

“Fuck, so beautiful...” Anakin slowly picks up his pace at the sight of you throwing your head back. “You’re all mine, isn’t that right angel?”

“F-fuck, yesyesyes, I’m all yours. Only yours—” you’re begging and you’re unable to finish your sentence as he gives you a particular hard thrust.

You nearly sense your arms failing due to the intensity of his thrusts. Anakin’s hands are clawing at the sides of your hips, guiding you with him, and he leans down again to place kisses on your upper back, his kisses travel down your spine, until he leans back up and just looks at you from behind.

Your mind goes blank as all you can do is focus on the feel of him stretching you, filling you up, so overwhelmed with bliss already. He thrusts deeper inside you, earning whines and moans as you continue to cry out his name. You try to tell him, breathlessly, about how good he is making you feel.

The sound of your pleasure fuels his desire to fuck you better, urging him to do more.

Anakin picks up his pace, thrusting into you quicker, harder, hitting the spot that has your body going numb.

You claw at the sheets, burying your face into the pillow to muffle your screams. The air is all stuffy around you as his hips move faster, moaning you try to push back your hips against his to take more of his big cock. Your tiny pussy is so full of him, his thickness still hard to get used to, as it pulses and tightens around him. Anakin moans at the sight, kneading your ass as he tries to bury himself more inside you, his tip hitting your cervix instantly. Your eyes roll back inside your head once again as you dig your fingers more into the bed, you mewl against the sheets at the overwhelming pleasure he’s giving you.

“P-pleeaaaseeee I need, need more.” You squeak out in between moans. The wet noises of him easing into you over and over has your cheeks burning, realising just how wet and needy you are for him.

Anakin buries his face in the crook of your neck, picking up his pace again, fucking you so fast and hard that you swore you never moaned so loud in your life. Suddenly, everything was becoming too much: his grunts, the sticky, sweaty feeling, his scent, his warmth, the drilling of his cock inside you. Just everything. You try to catch your breath but from how Anakin is thrusting inside you it feels almost impossible to do so.

You’re close, so close you can practically taste your orgasm; even if your mouth is completely dry from gasping his name over and over again. Feeling your walls begin to pulsate erratically, the rhythm of their contracting falling out of sync, Anakin knows instantly that you’re close.

Hair is sticking at the nape of your neck and back, and Anakin leans closer to you as he grabs and tugs slightly on it, at the same time he thrusts harder and faster. You whine loudly as the angle makes him hit your sensitive spot inside you. You’re literally going insane, it feels so overwhelming and good.

Your noises become louder and higher pitched as he continues his assault on your pussy, indicating that you’re getting closer as well as the sounds of your pussy that keep meeting his cock over and over again. The sounds mix along with your desperate cries. “Your pussy is so tight and wet around me. I know it’s begging for more. To be filled with my cum.” He groans as he thrusts harder.

“Fuck, fu-fuck, fuck, f-feels so g-good.” You whine as your eyes roll back inside your head.

“What do you want, baby girl?” Anakin groans while one of his hands reach around you to slip against your clit making you writhe against him as he applies pressure. The pleasure has the tension tightening in the pit of your stomach, dying for your release.

“Does that feel good, my sweet good girl?” He asks as he leans down his body closer to yours making him hit your cervix repeatedly. You whimper and tremble underneath him as you nod, Anakin moans against your ear as he whispers close to you. “Does it feel good? That I’m fucking you like this?”

“Yes! Yesyesyes. Feels so sooooo fu-fucking gooood, Aniii—” you whine as he continues to hit your sensitive spots inside you. Anakin’s fingers continue to press down on your little nub making you squirm. The tension continues to build up as the pleasure is becoming too overwhelming. “So clooose.”

Nodding above you, Anakin gasps and pants for air. “Fuck baby, me too,” he replies.

Anakin snaps his hips into you again and again, thrusting deep, causing you to see stars from knowing just how to pleasure you. Feeling like your head is swimming once again, you whine. “I’m sooo close, p-please…” you beg desperately. You only need one more little push, a little bit more attention to reach your peak.

You are crying out for him, your moans almost sounding like his name, and he moves his head down again and presses kisses down your neck.

“Cum for me, baby,” Anakin urges. “Let go.” His command, paired with the way his fingers dance across your clit, and how his cock drags against your sweet spot, has you careening off of the brink of pleasure.

Mouth falling open, your muscles strain as you choke out a cry of euphoria. Head lolling back, your eyes rolling back into your head while your back arches violently as you twist and contort in pleasure under Anakin. Rapturous ecstasy ricochets through your entire body, your muscles trembling violently as you cum around his cock.

“Going to fuck my cum into you, princess. Get you nice and full…” He groans as he feels your pussy tighten in a vice-like grip, your inner walls gushing with wetness as you milk his shaft, Anakin lets out a deep roar. His own head falls onto your back, and with a few more thrusts, he buries his cock as deep inside you as he can before he cums.

“Ah…” you whimper underneath him as your body continues to tremble.

Anakin exhales deeply as he feels himself come down from his high. He gently pulls out of your tiny spent hole, making you whimper in protest, you feel his eyes on you, knowing that he’s watching his seed drool out of you. Your pussy continues to pulse and clench repeatedly around nothing and he groans at the sight.

Leaning forward, he presses one hand onto your inner thigh, while the other swipes two fingers between your slit, gathering up his cum, and pushing it back into you. You wince at the sensation, a soft whine slipping from your throat at the sensitivity. Pressing a kiss to your knee, “We’ll have to clean you up,” Anakin mumbles.

Feeling the ache of oversensitivity, you gently bat Anakin's hand away before closing your legs. With a low laugh, your boyfriend responds by pressing an apologetic kiss to your knee.

You’re still trying to catch your breath as you whimper every now and then. Anakin then moves off the bed, making his way to the bathroom to get a warm, wet cloth and returns to your legs to clean you carefully. Once he’s done he comes back into bed, wrapping his arms around you instantly.

You automatically curl into his body, his presence enveloping you in a comforting embrace, his warmth seeping into your skin as you lean back into his embrace, feeling safe and loved in his arms.

“That was amazing…” you whisper.

He chuckles lightly as you feel his face nuzzling in the crook of your neck. You tighten the hold you have around him, holding him close, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek.

“It really was. I love you, sweetheart.” He smiles before bringing his head towards yours, leaning down to capture your lips in a soft kiss.

“I love you too.” You whisper as you pull away to look at him tenderly while your fingers trace his face fondly.

“I love you more.” He whispers back as he leans down to kiss your lips.

You giggle against him before you pull away. “That’s impossible.”

“Oh it’s very possible alright.” With a grin, he reconnects your lips together, the kiss feeling like velvet against yours. There's no rush as he tilts his head slightly to fit against you better. His mouth moves with delicacy and slowness, kissing you as if he has all the time in the world, savouring each moment with you.

His mouth moves slowly from your lips to the rest of your face, littering your skin full with them. “You did so well for me, such a good girl for me,” he whispers as he places soft kisses against your temples. Your face turns hot at his sweet words. He leans down to capture your lips in another kiss.

But the morning tranquillity and the tender moment is shattered by a sudden, resounding bang at the door, startling both of you.

“Wake up lovebirds!” Ahsoka yells from behind the door.

You groan, immediately grimacing and burying your face against Anakin’s chest and underneath the warm sheets.

“Nooooo,” you whine into the nape of his neck, trying to hide from the offending noise.

The man besides you chuckles softly at your reaction, finding it rather endearing.

“I hope you guys are presentable!” She announces and rather than waiting for the both of you to answer, the wooden door squeaks open and your friend pokes her head in, with a shit-eating grin on her face.

Ahsoka giggles, as she simply stops and takes in the sight of you. With your head laid on Anakin’s chest, both of your bodies wrapped around each other and the sheets comfortably draped around your bodies, you look the epitome of an old married couple. Except she’s certain that the both of you are naked underneath the sheets.

“Ah, still in bed I see.” She smiles a wicked smile before winking your way. “You guys look a little wrapped up.”

As embarrassment washes over you, heat creeps up your face, prompting you to quickly tug the sheets up to cover more of yourself.

Anakin laughs and you slap his chest in a playful manner as you glare at him.

He clears his throat. “That's enough, Ahsoka. We’ll be downstairs in a bit.”

“Alright! But don’t stay away too long, we have lots to discuss.”

She sends you both one more smirk before retreating and closing the door behind her.

You groan as you bury your head in your pillow. “They heard us.”

“Most likely, yeah.” He shrugs with a chuckle.

“How can you be so calm about this?” You grumble.

“Ah, come on, sweetheart, I'm sure it won’t be that bad.” he reassures you before enveloping you in his arms and lifting you up, eliciting a squeal from you. “Let's get you cleaned up,” he smiles before peppering kisses all over your face as you giggle in delight, while he carries you to the en-suite bathroom.

❅⋆* ☾ ⋆* ❅･ﾟ:⋆* ❅･ﾟ

As you both descend the stairs, the sounds of commotion in the living room catch your attention. Your friends' unusually loud voices make embarrassment flush through your body, intensified as they erupt in hoots and laughter upon your and Anakin's arrival, especially when they notice you both holding hands.

“Finally!” Padme cheers.

“I almost didn't want to believe Ahsoka, but putting you two in the same bedroom together would really do it.” Ben remarks, his tone filled with a mix of surprise and playful teasing.

“Told ya!” Ahsoka exclaims triumphantly, her voice filled with satisfaction.

“I told you they’d end up together last night.” Rex smiles as he nudges Ben. “Now pay up.”

Ben grumbles under his breath as he retrieves his wallet from his jeans, reluctantly paying for what appears to be a bet, his expression a mix of resignation and amusement.

“Seriously guys?” You’re at loss for words, truly stunned. The mixture of surprise and disbelief leaves you momentarily speechless. “You guys placed a bet on us?”

Anakin's chuckle at your stunned and flustered state earns him a narrow-eyed look from you, a silent warning not to find amusement in the situation. “You think this is funny?”

“Come on baby,” the corner of his lips quirk up, his laughter light. “Don’t pout,” he says with a teasing tone, trying to coax a smile from you.

“I'm not pouting.” You reply, an exaggerated pout still on your face. Anakin rolls his eyes playfully, finding your expression endearing. He leans down to you and presses a soft kiss to your lips.

Another series of hoots and cheers resound in the room as your friends watch you two kiss.

Flustered, you roll your eyes at your friends' reactions, trying to maintain composure despite their teasing antics. “You guys are so dramatic.”

“Excuse me? Dramatic?” Padme interjects, pointing a finger at both of you. “You guys have been pining for each other for YEARS. Literal years. We were so tired of it,” she adds, her tone a mix of humour and exasperation.

“So that’s why we took matters into our own hands!” Ahsoka smiles satisfied.

“So it’s true?” You gasp. “You guys set us up to sleep in the same room and same bed together?”

“Yeah and what about it?” Ahsoka giggles, not being apologetic at all.

Ben snorts as he shakes his head fondly. “Either way, we’re very happy that you guys finally decided to put an end to all of our suffering and got together.”

You shake your head with a smile in disbelief, unable to comprehend that your friends went to such lengths, setting you two up and even placing a bet on your relationship.

You feel Anakin snake one of his arms around your waist, pulling you closer against him before he leans down to place a kiss on your forehead. “I’m glad they did though. We were too oblivious to each other's feelings until last night.”

“You’re right.” You acknowledge with a small smile and a hum. “I’m so glad to have you in my life. I love you.”

“I love you too baby,” he says as he looks down at you tenderly.

As the morning unfolds into a day, laughter and activities fill the cabin and spill outside into the snowy landscape, creating an unforgettable vacation filled with cherished memories to treasure for years to come.

Plus, amidst all the laughter and activities, you're certain you're the happiest person in the world right now because you are able to call your best friend and the love of your life your boyfriend. The warmth of his love and the joy in his eyes as he looks at you affirm your happiness, making each moment together all the more precious.

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healmydesires · 8 days

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In a way that sort of criticism, I think, comes from a certain failure of their own suspension of disbelief.

HAPPY 43RD BIRTHDAY HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN Born April 19, 1981 | Vancouver, Canada

#happy birthday king #hayden christensen

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healmydesires · 8 days

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so we're all baking cakes for hayden today huh

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healmydesires · 9 days

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"I've been arrogant, and I apologize"

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

#mannnnn… i love my pookie #anakin skywalker

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healmydesires · 11 days

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ANDREW GARFIELD as PETER PARKER aka PETER 3 in

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) dir. Jon Watts

#ughhhhhh i need him #tasm!peter

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healmydesires · 13 days

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HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

— Virgin Territory (2007) dir. David Leland

#girl…………#I need him #hayden christensen

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healmydesires · 13 days

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"I've been arrogant, and I apologize"

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

#I need him guys #like so bad #anakin skywalker

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healmydesires · 13 days

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When I read a fanfic I like, the author becomes a mini celebrity to me. So when an author with a work I like kudos’ or comments on my own fanfic I just-

#was meant to reblog to this blog my bad #exactly

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healmydesires · 13 days

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I really feel like tumblr’s fallen down on the job in not properly celebrating this very important holiday

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healmydesires · 13 days

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me, the motherfucker with over 50 abandoned works in progress: i have an idea

#always

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healmydesires · 15 days

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18+ anakin thoughts <3

anakin is downright nasty, if you’re not practically stuck to the sheets when he’s done- he’s not finished. dude has stamina for days, sometimes you’re not even sure if you ever stopped cumming from the first time he tasted you. are you that wet or is that his spit? it’s mystery to the both of you. he’s got his fingers in both sets of your lips, tasting like your slick and faintly like oil from the droid he was tinkering with… idk i just want him

#real #anakin skywalker #fic recs

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