#And in that he's probably pretty judgemental all things considered

[artheresy]

Yingxing Appreciation 🎉🎉

hi, hello, it's Yingxing appreciation time and I'm dragging you into it bc he is my baby and I need more ppl to talk about him

Y'know I see a lot of people like in awe and hyping up DF and just giving him tons of appreciation while analyzing him specifically as an individual which is all so so valid, DF is amazing and very intriguing as a character and I love him sm, but I sadly don't see the same for Yingxing despite him I think also being so interesting. I also see him more so dismissed in the "literally God and some guy" kind of fashion sometimes

So I'm here to rant just a little bit about Yingxing, why I love him, why he's epic and why he ruins my day every single time I think about him! This is for any of my fellow Yingxing lovers who are also starved of any content of him

Firstly, this man is a genuine genius, like lest we forget this is from Baiheng's travelogue in which she met a young Yingxing who was still a child by this point.

He was a young boy but had already become a craftsman, a sign of his ability to learn exceedingly quick under Huaiyans tutelage. And his ability to work and progress incredible fast continues into his time as a young man on the Luofu.

We know he arrived probably somewhere around 18-21 (in my personal estimate) and by the time he saw Jingliu again (which itself was likely early into his stay on the Luofu given HCQ ages and timing), he had already impressed the Master Craftsmen of the Luofu's Artisanship Commission and earned himself a title.

There are also multiple things in game that emphasize his achievements and creations he crafted, some offhandedly mentioned in a readable or item while others are emphasized with importance.

Casually mentioned in the Discarded Ingenium Parts is his feat in the Great Trial of the Furnace (perhaps that trial is for gaining the furnace master title? Once again signifying an earlier achievement in his legacy) where it took him only a day and night to create a whole mechanical lion that moved and looked just like a real live lion from a bunch of defective parts and waste.

More recently in 1.5, they released a readable, the Ten-Lords Criminal Directory, which mentions an imprisonment method designed by Yingxing that keeps “Mirage” in a perpetual state trapped within a hallucination of their own making. Utilizing it’s own powers in order to keep it imprisoned. Something that with proper maintenance seems to have lasted for around 700 years so far.

And of course, how can we forget his most famous creations

The beautifully crafted weapons of the High Cloud Quintet, from Jingliu’s incredibly heavy sword remarked as being as heavy as three thousand catties, to Dan Feng’s Cloud Piercer with the ability to even cut through dragon scales, and the Devastator Glaive as well as Baiheng’s recurve bow. Each impressive in their own ways and seemingly crafted pretty early as well into his time on the Luofu with the HCQ given the distinction of Jing Yuan who (even if he likely was more a teen than a boy) still wasn’t an exact adult yet. So once again, let me emphasize this man’s skill here. With how many things he managed to do so so early into his time on the Luofu. A genius craftsman who deserved all of the praise he had garnered with his works.

Additionally, I know they keep harping about “ugh arrogant craftsman, ugh he’s so full of himself” but every single time we’ve seen his personality, he just seems like a genuine joy to be around. Bright, charismatic, sure he’s cocky but he also gives the impression of being incredibly fun and a bit silly if you ask me.

His behavior as mirrored by the mirage echo in Scalegorge Waterscape is distinctly playful even in what might be a more tense situation, lightly bantering with Dan Feng and even chuckling in certain languages.

In Jingliu’s character stories, it even furthers this bright, playful attitude he gives off with his distinct cheekiness shining through especially with that “toothy grin” of his. And if you listen to Jingliu’s (at least her English) voice lines during Clouds Leave No Trace when she speaks about Yingxing before getting into his transformation, there is a distinct fondness or amusement in her voice as she speaks of him especially that cocky nature of his despite her distaste for it at first.

While Baiheng is hailed as this kind figure in the High Cloud Quintet, perhaps their sun even casting light upon them, it doesn’t seem too far off to say Yingxing was a shining star among them in his own right. His easy going nature with them bringing about a bubbly playfulness similar to Baiheng given their closeness from when he was young. I could go into way more especially in regards to the casualness at which Yingxing seems to speak and treat others allowing for a more equal formation of relationships especially with Dan Feng but I’m saving that for another rant.

And all of this about him especially how expressive he seems at certain points he’s been mentioned, really just makes me so incredibly sad when thinking about Blade now. How severely separated he is from this identity. A division that exists from not only his death but from the way his mental state has been severely warped from his time with Jingliu and being affected afterwards by the mara.

The sheer dehumanization and lack of a personal identity in place of seeing himself as a solely a weapon when put next to Yingxing, with such a clear bold individual identity, really makes the transformation of one into the other all the more jarring and tragic. Especially with the emphasis on how Yingxing hated the abominations of Abundance only to become one himself, something that is still implied to have not been by his own hand. Blade is an immensely tragic character, but that tragedy only holds weight because of the life and identity Yingxing had. It is only with Yingxing’s light which shined despite the circumstances of his life that his descent into darkness hits harder, and it makes me so sad that I haven’t found many others talking or expanding upon this despite my searches because he really is such a well written character with so many details in his story that are both interesting and utterly heartbreaking.

And additionally, I want to say that I think there is a lost potential in examining the Xianzhou through Yingxing. Specifically in the way he is treated as a short life species. We know how the relationship between the Vidyadhara and the Natives, especially as it’s changed after Dan Feng, but there is a very interesting relationship to be explored between the Xianzhou and the Short Life Species the end up there, especially through Yingxing’s relationship to the different Artisans guilds whether on the Luofu or the Zhuming.

In the end, it becomes another sad element to Yingxing’s story. Yingxing managed to change his attitude regarding how the Zhuming masters treated him and even grew more of a confidence, but even in the Luofu's Artisanship Commission, he can never truly get as far as he deserves. Just as Jingliu says

Even with his work impressing the master craftsmen of the Luofu, even after more than showing his skill and earning the title of Furnace Master for that skill, he still would be denied higher positions and could only prove his true worth by the High Cloud Quintet.

And just let me say it again, him being a short life species allows for such an interesting examination of the world and people around him based upon that. While we don't know exactly how they met, we do know that Yingxing was Huaiyan's personal disciple and the only one he mentions of the celestial masters to treat him with respect and believe in his capabilities despite knowing he's a short life species. Through his treatment of Yingxing, we learn quite a bit about him. Through Baiheng's treatment of him as well, we learn a lot about her, more than anywhere else.

He's just UGH I need more exploration from Yingxing's perspective, the lack of it feels as if I'm being starved. He's so interesting, he's so fun, he's incredibly tragic, and he makes me cry every single time he crosses my mind. Please do yourselves a favor and think more about his character so you'll end up as sad about him as me. Or don't maybe. I dunno. All I know for sure is that you absolutely need to read Views of the Universe From a Starskiff: The Zhuming if you haven't. Anyways bye, thanks for listening to this rant, I gotta go cry over him.

Peep the tags also for a rant about my own characterization of YX if you wish to witness my insanity

#Let me rant about my own personal characterization of Yingxing based on this and its OVER #It's OVER #Firsy off We need to acknowledge before we get into anything that YX is severely traumatized #Before becoming a teen (we don't know exactly how long he was at the Zhuming before he met BH so he could have been p young) #He had already lost his entirely family in an incredibly brutal fashion to the Borisin #His home planet was conquered destroyed and turned into a weapons nursery for the Borisin #And he ended up somehow on the Zhuming (it's my hc that Huaiyan himself found him but we don't know the canon details) #And on top of that seemingly only Huaiyan his master was kind to him as the rest of the celestial masters on Zhuming degraded him for being #A shortlife species to the point he A CHILD tells BH he doesn't know if he'll live to see his parents avenged #So yeah he's gone through some shit #And we know his arrogance begins after Baiheng says kind words to him but ngl I don't think he switched up so fast from a few kind gestures #I think that arrogance of his begins as a coping method inspired by her especially given the exaggerated nature of it as jingliu describes #When he was a child #Kind of a fake it til you make it #And by the time he ends up on the Luofu I think it's half genuine confident half fake it til you make it #Specifically in that he does really see the people around him as equals no matter their status or species including someone like HE IL #And in that he's probably pretty judgemental all things considered #But I think the more exaggerated parts especially his outward declarations are played up a bit by him to give off a certain facade or image #In order to garner respect when paired with his actual genuine skill and talent #That's just a reduced summary of my characterization of him tho with his relationship to his confidence I have more to say but #ALSO YINGXING WITH SURVIVORS GUILT #WHERE IS MY YX WITH SURVIVORS GUILT CONTENT *bangs my fist against the floor* #That 100% plays into my personal characterization of his relationship with his confidence #Also I view YX as being AuDHD for so many reasons but esp with what we know in canon of his obsession with crafting and his #Overworking himself tendencies regarding it #Yingxing #Hsr blade #Hsr #Honkai star rail #Don't let me mention how this affects his relationships I'll be even more annoying than I already am

[mvnsvn6]

Have a mini fic about Steve annotating books and Eddie finding it really hot🖤

So obviously, Eddie's a bookworm. Before he had any friends, he spent the better parts of his childhood at Hawkins Library after school and Hawkins Middle's library during any recesses and lunches. He constantly read books, this was before Wayne got him a guitar and before he got into dnd, and being a bookworm tremendously helped him fuel both of those hobbies later on. But before then? The library was like a second home to him. 

And so, recently founding out that Steve reads, like a lot, is something of a revalation. It's not that Eddie thinks the guy is stupid, but he figured the guy spent time doing other productive hobbies at home. But the guy reads, and as previously mentioned, Eddie considers himself a literature connoisseur of sorts. Writing book reports and essays were one of the few things he actually excelled at in high school. 

So anyway, he found out that Steve is a book nerd by finding one of Steve's books open on his bed. Not really the strangest thing that Eddie's come across in Steve's room if he's being honest, and not the biggest indicator of nerdiness, until he focuses his attention and acknowledges the bright colors sprawled across the pages. 

A burst of rainbow colors underlining what Eddie guesses are his favorite parts of the story or important stuff he wanted to remember. And obviously, Eddie has to ask him about it. and Steve explains to him that he has a whole color key and it's made up of romantic lines that make him feel warm, sad stuff that makes him tear up, stuff that is word for word undoubtedly Steve Harrington sprawled on a page. Steve won't tell him which color is which, too embarrassed by it, but he lets Eddie read through them, and then he stares at Steve in unyeilding fondness. 

The look reflected on Steve's is not the same, mostly anxiety and insecurity, which Eddie immediately wants to soothe. It's so so sweet he thinks but Eddie's mouth translates the words into, "That's so fucking hot." Which, shit man, it is but he hadn't meant to say it out loud. 

"Shut up, dude, don't make fun of me right now." 

And listen, books are everything to him, this is no joking matter. They inspire his own stories, whether through a dnd campaign or writing song lyrics. It's honestly probably the most attractive thing a person could do in Eddie's opinion, he didn't know how hot until right about now, but he'll die on this hill. Annotating your books is hot. 

"Listen to me when I say this Steve, while that is the nerdiest thing I've ever heard and I'm, ya know, me. It's also about the most attractive thing that's come out of that pretty mouth of yours, like ever."

And Steve folds his arms across his fucking beautifully sculpted chest and narrows his eyes just slightly, raising a judgemental eyebrow at him. 

"You're being serious."

Oh he's never been more serious about anything in his life. 

"Uh...yeah? Yes. Oh my god."

Yeah, real eloquent Edward. 

Whatever, his heart is pounding profuesely against his rib cage because holy shit Steve is a book nerd and Eddie wants to kiss him fucking yesterday. So he gets on all fours on Steve's bed to lean forward and basically attacks his mouth before he can even think about it. 

And when he pulls back, Steve's pupils are blown wide and his breath has picked up pace, and Steve keeps bouncing between looking at Eddie's eyes and his lips. 

"You just kissed me."

It comes out disbelieving. 

"Yeah and with your permission I'd like to continue, like stat, immediately, now."

"You're insane."

And hands weave through curls and pull. 

Eddie tumbles foward, ending fully sprawled on top of Steve, and, jesus christ, body pressed impossibly close to his. 

And after they're romantic, read: nerdy horniness, little makeout session, he forces Steve to read the annotations himself, going through all the books that are important to Steve. He has to stop himself from moaning to really emphasize how hot he finds it, and to make Steve slightly embarrassed, but refrains. Just lets him continue. 

Eddie has never been so in love in his life.

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #ficlet #stranger things fic #my writing

[bluegiragi]

You elaborated wonderfully on how Horangi views other Haetae and his relationship to them (I love how your brain works fr every tidbit of what you come up with is scrumptious).

You also gave us vague ideas of how Price and Soap view other dragons/werewolves.

But I’d love to know explicitly, How does everyone in 141 (and Konig) view others of their kind? How do they get treated by other monsters and hybrids? (I’d like to imagine they get a slight amount of flack for cooperating sometimes with the likes of humans)

lots of reading in this post, but I’ll section it off into Harpy, Wraith and Percht so it’s a bit more organized :)

Harpies

Harpy culture really prioritises independence above all else, to the point that their young are left to fend for themselves after they turn 16. They’re also quite a prideful bunch, which means they really dislike sharing space with other harpies. In the military it can be especially dicey, since two harpies will instinctively consider it an insult if they’re forced to be on the same team (it’d be like telling them you don’t think they’re good enough on their own) and it’ll result in a fight at worst and a cold, distant relationship at best. Even Gaz, who is pretty coolheaded and thoughtful as far as harpies go, would be irritated in that sort of situation.

Harpies don’t have this kind of instant animosity for any other flighted monster (like dragons) although they’ll still get a bit competitive. That irritation is a remnant instinct from back when they’d battle each other in the sky to prove themselves to mates - it would always end with one, dead, plummeting to the earth and the other victorious, still flapping. Their mating rituals are a lot less lethal these days, but that immediate wariness around their own kind has stuck.

Wraiths

There is no confirmed number of wraiths currently existing and probably never will be, because they’re impossible to keep track of. However, their numbers are probably very low, simply because the circumstances needed to create a wraith are extremely specific and unlikely to naturally occur.

Because of this, it’s unknown if two wraiths have ever even met - Ghost has definitely never met another one in his whole life (and never wants to either)- but if they did, chances are it wouldn’t end well for anyone involved. They are volatile, capable of massive amounts of destruction if let loose and (so far) impossible to contain against their will. I think they’d mostly be apathetic to one another in a “don’t fuck with me, and I won’t fuck with you” sort of way but they’re naturally sort of angry and vengeful, so it’s best to assume violent confrontation is an inevitability.

For what it’s worth, I think if Ghost did meet another wraith, he’d pity them.

Perchts

Perchts like each other well enough, so long as nobody veers away from tradition too much. They’re monsters that are perfectly happy living within their very insular, very regimented communities and distrust anything that differs from the norm. Their judgemental ways come from generations of belief that their kind all working towards the same goal is the only thing allowing them to survive in the remote areas they call home. However, they tend to go way too far, and punish any deviancy with draconian responses like public beatings and even exile.

König (or Klaus, as he was once known) tried his best in their community but he was doomed from the start with his enormous stature. He adopted a hunch as a child to try to fit in with his peers but it just wasn’t enough. After one too many mistakes, he was beaten and left for dead, effectively disowned by his own kind.

He was saved by a scouting party that happened to be in the area and then voluntarily allowed himself to be mutated so that he could be useful. He was all too happy to do so in the moment with spite against his own kind fueling him, but he regrets it a little nowadays as it’s started to take its toll on him.

Fun fact: Perchts can shapeshift into humans to hide their monstrous features. This means that Konig’s percht form is how he truly is, and whenever you see him as a human, that’s him in his shifted form.

König has a difficult relationship with Perchts nowadays. He hasn’t seen another one in decades since they all avoid large clusters of people like cities and villages. I think if he did meet another one he’d try to run away - he still feels some shame about never being accepted.

#maaaaaan get me away from my damn keyboard #yet another obscenely long lore drop #askbox #monster 141

[firestorm09890]

hi okay so Meursault was awesome in canto vi and I was going to make a post about him but I found something more interesting

so! this part!

Very ironic of them to use the words "judged" and "judgement" considering his entire profile is "Wants clear and concise commands, requiring no judgement on his part." He's been making judgements for a while, but this is probably the clearest it's been how much he's grown from the pre-Hell's Chicken "barely saying anything at all" Meursault. He cares about the others :)

But the interesting thing here is how Outis is the first to respond and agree

It was established back in Canto IV that Outis actually values Meursault's opinion, but also, so far, Outis has pretty consistently been like "we'll keep pushing forward because we're not COWARDS and BABIES" while holding little to no sympathy for the other sinners. Something's different here

#project moon #limbus company #canto vi spoilers #meursault #outis #me post

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 18.

Summary: Love as seen in the stars, in the flowers that bloom, in your best friend's eyes, and in the taste of him on Oliver's tongue as you catch him in the bathtub. Summer continues at Saltburn.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: SMUT; vouyerism, dom!reader, handjob, bathwater as lube, cumming almost untouched, pervert/enabler dynamics. I cannot stress to you enough that both the reader and Oliver are COMPLETE AND UTTER FREAKS ABOUT FELIX in the bathtub scene.

A/N: 6670 words. this chapter is very special to me for a lot of reasons, but mainly because there have been several scenes that i've been writing for a while now that have all found their forever home in this chapter. if you have any feedback or thoughts about this chapter or the story so far, i'd always love to hear them! also something something bath water something ;o)

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

Things were easier to navigate now that you understood Oliver. Or at least you thought you understood. Less fucking around with Farleigh and Venetia in Oliver's peripheries; when you put yourself on display, it was as an extension of Felix. If Felix had noticed the change, he hadn't commented on it. Considering how much effort you put in making him feel good and moan like a whore for Oliver's benefit, he probably appreciated it.

Things with Oliver himself were getting better by the day too, it seemed. More and more he was reaching out for you again. Sitting too close, sharing your space, seeking you out when his time wasn't filled with Felix. There's less tension too, on the nights you share in the lilac study. Oliver's been through the book you'd given him on the Estate, and has moved on to picking out books he'd found on your bookshelf, it seemed. You, having quickly identified the flower he'd mentioned as the honeysuckle, native to Australia, had also moved on to books from your Summer reading list for your upcoming year at Oxford. As the first week of Summer is coming to an end, it seems as though Oliver had finally settled in at Saltburn.

"Do you miss your room?" Oliver asks one evening. Without even looking up from your own book, you give a fond laugh, shaking your head.

"It was more just a formality half the time," you tell him with an easy smile, "a place to keep my stuff." Looking at him beside you on the sofa, you see he understands the implications, the holidays you and the others have reminisced about, the trysts masquerading as something much more innocent that you would share with them all when you were at the Estate. There's nothing judgemental in his eyes, there never was when it came to Oliver, "why?"

"It all just feels very much like you in there," he offers, gaze wandering as he speaks, "Felix's room feels very You-And-Felix, and I get bits of him in your room too, but it feels much more you." You're actually rather surprised by how well you understand what he means, "like up on your roof you've got these little stars. They glow. I didn't notice them the first few nights."

Your smile widens, all bright and warm, and you close your book.

"Do you want to have a sleepover, Ollie?" You ask with a childish kind of glee. The offer seems to take Oliver by surprise, but you lean forwards, "like an actual sleepover, like we're kids again."

"You still do just sleepovers?" Seems to escape Oliver without him quite meaning it to, and for a moment your expression does falter a little.

"Yeah," you can't help but feel a little self conscious, "promise I'm not trying to seduce your or anything," then, shifting your legs from him you shuffle back to sit cross-legged on the sofa, "we actually do them kind of a lot, or, well, I do. I think Farleigh and Ven have a few and I know when they get tipsy Ven and Fi have had a few. Sometimes after events when we were teenagers we'd all head back to one of our rooms and end up all passed in the same bed trying to fit in like sardines, all four of us."

"That's very cute," Oliver says softly after a long moment of silence, and when you finally meet his gaze again, he's smiling.

"Yeah," you grin once more, "we were."

Which is how you ended up back in Oliver's room, back in your old bed, looking up at the canvas that made up your ceiling, stretched across the full length of the room, rigged and taught, littered with a constellation of glowing stars. Oliver, laying still beside you, asks about it, and you have to explain that there was no way in hell you would ever be allowed to mark the actual roof of any room in the Saltburn Estate. Which he realises makes a lot of sense once you say it out loud.

"But you should see Felix's ceiling, it's much more impressive," you tell him softly, not even aware how your smile was coming through even in your words. Oliver, bedside you, was simply quiet as he gazed at the glowing dots, "haven't you ever looked up at the ceiling in Fi's room?"

"Not properly," Oliver admitted quietly, and the silence lapses out between you both for several contented seconds, "did you two do this?"

"I did," you said proudly, "and this is just from what I had left over."

"What do you mean?"

"About this time, uh," you considered for a long while, trying to remember the full context of the stars that littered both yours and Felix's ceilings, "seven years ago I think, Felix pretended to have gotten really into astronomy as an excuse to always be out of bed, out on his balcony at night."

"But... he wasn't really?" Oliver's head shifted on his pillow to look at you and your amused smile. You shook your head.

"He picked up smoking from Venetia, she was bribing him with cigarettes to hide both her own habit and the fact that she gave it to him."

Oliver shifts beside you on the bed, no longer content with looking at the stars you'd placed there, interested, it seemed, only in watching you.

"How old was Felix?" He's looking at you, clearly listening and invested, but he seems distracted by something.

"Fourteen," you sighed, "Ven was fifteen, which really isn't much better -"

"And how old were you when you picked the habit up from Felix?" Oliver asks with the faintest, knowing quirk of his lips. Embarrassed about how well he seemed to know you, your whole face scrunched up momentarily, "fourteen?" Oliver teased when you refused to answer, grin widening as you squeezed your eyes shut. Still, he went on, "so when you say Felix pretended to get into astrology seven years ago to hide his smoking habit, you mean you and Felix pretended to get into astrology seven years ago?" And this is when you feel Oliver's gentle fingertips touch your flustered face. His fingertips beginning to glide so gracefully along your features, as you relaxed into a simple, embarrassed smile.

You really weren't trying to do anything untoward with him tonight, you weren't lying about that. Still, you wouldn't rebuff any kind of gentle affection he had to offer.

"Well, yeah," you admitted, and Oliver makes a noise for you to continue as he seemed to be wanting to map each delicate feature on your face through touch alone, "but Fi ended up really getting into it. Went through this whole big astronomy phase that year - I say that year; he still really into it - but back then, it was..." you closed your eyes, letting yourself be immersed in the memory of how excited Felix had been. Felix was always a beautiful sight to behold when he was passionate.

"Little Felix," Oliver mused fondly, "bet he was desperate to be an astronaut." Oliver touches you like you're porcelain, so delicate and precious, his fingertips skimming your cheeks and brushing your eyelashes.

"Actually," you laughed a little, though not unkindly, at the memory. Opening your eyes, you turn just enough to be looking at Oliver, to catch the adoring look in his eyes as his hand stilled, now simply holding your cheek, "he wanted to be the guy who got to give speeches about the stars and planets and the universe every day at the planetarium," you recounted, "and become a Doctor of Astronomy so he could make the videos they play in the room with the domed roof that you get to lay back and watch in the dark," you grinned, "but also then he could still be the guy who gave the speeches, but he'd get to answer questions about his own movie about the universe as well." After a moment of silence, Oliver smiles so widely and genuinely; you know he can see it so clearly, "he'd be so good at it, wouldn't he?"

"He'd be cute," Oliver agreed softly, fondly.

"So for his fifteenth birthday, I spent weeks designing and figuring out how to rig this piece of canvas across his whole roof, since I couldn't paint or mark his ceiling, what with this being a heritage building," you explained, proud little smile on your face, "and I asked my nan about all these paints and fancy pigments and stuff that would last and would glow in the dark, because nan's a painter and she's always had this gift with like, making her paintings look like they glow," you turned to Oliver, expression so adoring, "but Fi turned fifteen while we were at boarding school, so the very next break we had, I convinced him to spend the first week visiting Farleigh and his aunt in America, while I was back here, spending night and day on this. I had the whole canvas stained navy, and nan even stayed here for a few days to help me with painting it all perfectly and making sure all my paints would do exactly what I wanted them to, and we painted this canvas-ceiling I'd set up for him to look like his favourite starscape at the London Planetarium." Giving a loud, contented sigh, you added almost as an afterthought, "there's probably a bunch of the print outs of references I used somewhere in the study; the Planetarium people were so lovely."

"Is that why Felix is doing a physics degree?" Oliver practically gasped like it was a revelation; right, you forgot Felix rarely bothered to explain anything about his academics to anyone. When you confirmed as much, Oliver seems somehow more shocked, "I never got the impression that he thought much of uni." It's... not an incorrect observation to have made about at least half of Felix's academic career.

"He gets weird about it, about talking about it and stuff, thinks he sounds like a nerd," you agree after a moment, with a fond laugh, "he's got this weird mind for physics and anything really related to space and stars and astronomy, but he'd rather complain about the electives that he takes despite knowing he'll hate them."

"Then why does he take them?"

"A lot of them are actually my core subjects," finally you admit, a little abashed, "he knows I'm not as fond of my course as he is of his, so he takes them out of solidarity and complains the whole time." You're pretty sure Oliver can hear the sickeningly sweet undercurrent of I love him, I love him, I love him in your tone, but you can't help it. Neither of you have much more to say on the matter, but you think you know what Oliver's thinking. Something about favouritism, about best friends, about how he's pretty sure that Felix Catton wouldn't do that for anyone else.

And he'd be right.

"Hey Ollie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I move closer?"

"'course," his voice is warm and soft and before you even move he's coaxing you closer to him, arm around you, letting you rest your head on his chest.

"Thanks for letting me sleep over," you yawned, but the affection in your voice was sincere. A chuckle rumbles through Oliver's chest, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

"Thank you for suggesting it."

Oliver's warmth is familiar and foreign all at once. How is it that you could have missed someone so much despite only having spent one night beside him.

However the following morning, over breakfast, Elspeth gives you a reminder about an upcoming event that you'd been trying desperately not to think about.

"Y/N, darling, I just thought I'd remind you about the Arts Collective dinner we'll be hosting in a few days," her voice is carefully neutral as she brings it up. You freeze, "Duncan needs to finalise the numbers today so the kitchen can start figuring out what we need to order. We'll be gathering in the fairy garden for drinks and canapes beforehand." What she's really trying to ask is if you'll be in attendance considering your mother's name is on the guest list. Before you can properly answer, however, she turns to Farleigh and asks if he's still intending on joining the garden portion of the gathering.

"As usual, I will I'll indeed be showing my face for wine and cheese," he says, though his smile is tight, "at my mother's behest."

"I'll be taking dinner in my study that night," you force a smile at Elspeth, and she gives you the same kind of look that was so often directed towards Pamela. Pity. Sympathy. You poor, dear, thing, I understand. In a moment, however, she brightens once more and asks if Oliver would like to join the pre-dinner gathering, or if he'd simply like to attend dinner, dismissively assuming that both of her own children would be forgoing the garden themselves - she'd be right.

You can feel Felix looking at you as you return your focus to your breakfast, but you remain uncharacteristically stoic for the rest of the meal. As your plate is taken away, you try to shake your negativity, looking up and around as you ask if any of the others have plans for the day. Swimming, reading, lounging around; leisure, as always. But you feel as though you'll get lost in your own head if you don't do something with yourself today.

So instead, you find something suitable to garden in, and spend a good deal of the day in your garden, uprooting all of the purple pincushions in preparation. It's satisfying to be working with your hands, satisfying to be ripping the flowerless stalks up by the roots and disposing of them in a bucket to later be composted. You'd brought your iPod and little speaker and make a day of it in the garden, waiving the staff off who offer to help, only asking them what the garden needed that day.

You till the soil you'd just disturbed, mixing fertiliser in in preparation for the plants due to be arriving in a day or two, and water the rest of the plants in both rings. You take great care, admiring each flower in bloom, and even the more utilitarian ivy that curled across the latticed archway of an entrance.

Some of the staff members bring you food and water throughout the day, and for each one that does, you invite them to stop and sit and talk for any time they had spare. All seem surprised by the invite, and even moreso when you seem to know them by name, and how eager you are to ask them about themselves. They also all seem grateful to get off their feet for a few minutes.

Duncan sits very awkwardly opposite you at the picnic table. He does not touch the food he has brought you, even as you push it to the middle of the table, as an offering. Duncan does not ask questions. Duncan has never much liked speaking unless spoken to. But still, you know he's more than willing to refuse a request for company such as the one you'd made, so you take the kindness for what it is. He watches you down the bottle of water he'd also brought like your life depended on it.

"How long has it been since you last applied any sunscreen?" He does finally broach the surprisingly comfortable silence. He'd provided you with a tube of the stuff as you'd announced your intentions to spend the day gardening, and now it sat at the other end of the picnic table with the gardening tools. You promise to reapply after you'd finished your lunch, but smile at him warmly. He gives one of his awkward smiles back, and asks if you need a hat, which you decline.

"Your mother has confirmed that she will be in attendance with the Arts' Collective," he says, and you go still, "what would you like to be brought for dinner that evening?" The confirmation stings, but you know this is Duncan's way of showing he cares about you. You get to pick your own dinner, unlike most other nights, and he won't subject you to the cruel anticipation of wondering just whether your mother really would or would not be in the same house as you.

Trying your best to smile, you let him know that you'll think about it, and get back to him tonight. With a faint nod, Duncan stands smoothly, and leaves the garden once more. He'd always been good to you, in his own way.

By mid-afternoon, you've done all you can, and head back to the house to soak, and perhaps even have a sulk about the upcoming event, in the tub until you had to get ready for dinner.

Except Felix doesn't even knock before he bursts into the bathroom, already in his suit with a bottle of champagne in his hand. He's practically radiating joy as he informs you that he and the others had managed to get their hands on several bottles of champagne and are going to hit the tennis courts before dinner.

Black tie tennis and getting absolutely shitfaced sounded great right about now. You were already feeling pretty recovered from the day seeing as you'd spent over an hour in the bath already, so much to Felix's delight, you agree to join them with a delighted grin. From somewhere behind him, Venetia also orders you to wear something flashy.

"If you're in a black suit too I swear I'm going to scream!"

Which is how you end up in your bright red suit pants with the red, silk paisley embroidery, and matching suit vest, buttoned up, with nothing beneath it. It's also the kind of thing you can move in, throw yourself around in, which is perfect for how the five of you play tennis.

Champagne bottle in one hand, tennis racket in the other, the sunset paints you all a joyful gold. Swapping in and out on all sides to play even games, you find yourself forgetting everything that had been weighting you down, instead drowning in your friends laughter. So often your gaze is caught by Oliver and Felix, cheering, drinking, playing. Love swells in your chest at the sight.

You all share giggles over dinner, and while Elspeth and James and Pamela can all clearly tell that you're all already drunk, the way the five of you are all grinning softens their exasperation.

After, not wanting this rather fantastic evening to end, you end up on one of the many balconies or patios, you're not sure which, sharing a sofa and several cigarettes, and the last of a bottle of champagne with Felix. He's got his head in your lap, pointing out constellations, but all you can see is him, the stars shining in his eyes and wide, excited smile he always got when he was rambling about something he was passionate about. Good how you loved his passion; you wished Oliver were here to see him like this. Of course Oliver loves him, and of course he's desperate for Felix to love him back; to be loved by Felix was -

"You're thinking about Ollie, aren't you?" Felix's voice breaks through your thoughts, and you can see he's grinning up at you, nothing but affection in his eyes.

"I'm thinking about you," you corrected, carding your fingers through his hair.

"You're always thinking about me," he says it so easily, so dismissively, throwing the idea away despite how vain it would sound if it weren't rather true, still he takes on a teasing tone, "you get this look about you when you think about Ollie," he reaches up and pokes your cheek.

"He loves you," you give a contented sigh after a moment, expression turning soft, of course he does, how could he not? But that's also kind of a given.

"And you," Felix's jabbing finger turns to a gentle hand holding your face, "that's why we're being absolute sluts, isn't it? Trying to get him to make a move?" And you laugh, loud and bright, in agreement. But then, after a moment, there's a change in Felix, something in his eyes. It's not jealousy, but it's more serious than before.

"Fi?" Your voice is soft, and he smiles at you, overwhelmingly adoring.

"I've been getting to watch you fall in love," he said gently, incredulously, "how weird is that?" Something tightens in your chest.

"Again," you correct. Felix gives you a vaguely confused look, but you can't help but shake your head at your beautiful fool of a best friend, "you get to see me fall in love again, Felix." You roll your eyes, but as he's hit with the implications of your words hit him, a beautiful flush works its way up his cheeks. He actually has to cover his face with his hands, embarrassment and joy lighting up his expression.

"You're so sappy," he crows, "you are so fucking sappy!" You practically cackle with glee draping yourself over him, onto his chest, the two of you awkwardly wrapped up in each other on this little sofa. As your laughter dies down, you give a faint hum.

"But he's not your competition, for the record, he never really was -"

"I'm not jealous! I've told you that!" Felix insists, "I thought I made that clear!"

"You have, Fi," you laughed, "but what I'm saying is... well, he knows I love you both, and he loves me, but he's not -" ever going to love me the way he loves you, God, you can't say that. It takes the last bit of self restraint you have to bite that back, shifting to get a little more comfortable, you reach out and stroke Felix's hair.

"Fi, I have spent months watching him fall so in love with you, the way I often hope, or," you laughed a little self conciously, "feared, the rest of the world would," and slowly Felix uncovers his face, those big, brown eyes of his full of all kinds of hope and affection, "he was never your competition, Fi, he's mine," you joked.

"Oh," the flush on his cheeks only grows steadily darker, and the faint exclamation comes out as more of a breathless gasp, "Ollie's your competition for..." He grins sheepishly, like he just wants to hear you say it.

"You, Fi," you tell him with an affectionate grin, but for it up with a nonchalant shrug and teasing smirk, "though competition implies that either of us would make you choose."

You would never let him know the full truth. You'd let him believe wholeheartedly that while you both loved Oliver, he reciprocated that wholeheartedly. Which was... mostly true. True enough that it kept Felix happy and you happy enough.

Yes, Oliver loves Felix, and therefore loves you by extension. Only you knew how sharp that distinction really was.

But you realised Felix was right; he was watching you fall in love with Oliver, and you too had been watching him fall for the boy as well, even if it did seem to be a slower process than it had been with you. You reasoned that Felix had far more reason to be cautious with his heart, especially with men. The first and last boy you'd seen him fall in love with broke his fucking heart at Saltburn, you knew part of him was terrified for history to repeat itself. But clearly he couldn't stop himself from falling in the end.

It was a waiting game now, either Oliver makes a real move and proves his love and loyalty to Felix, or Felix makes a real move and proves to Oliver that his affections are entirely, overwhelmingly genuine. So you'd be the proxy when you had to be, something a little safer for them both while they built up the courage.

Though you're not above stressing this tension that's building between them. The bend before the break, how far it would go before it snaps and you can all stop dancing around this thing that you all clearly want.

And an opportunity arises in the days that follow.

Saltburn creaks it's own kind of melody, it always has. You've become used it, learned the ebb and flow of the house and it's noises, the way it settles itself as it cools from the Summer afternoon heat. You know which door is shutting in the rooms adjacent to yours and Felix's just by the sound of the latches alone, and you know all too well which floorboards squeak along the halls you frequent.

On Felix's balcony, winding down for the day with a book as he takes a bath before bed, you don't hear the creak of the little hall between Oliver's room and the bathroom. The blinds are drawn over the bathroom window, but you catch a faint bit of movement in the mostly dark hall and give pause in your reading.

You could barely make out the arch of a shoulder through the break in the blinds, but you could tell that beautiful, bathing Felix had himself a captive audience. Part of you wondered if it was by chance or by choice, if Oliver was watching or simply listening, and if Felix knew either way. He'd have to; there's no way Oliver was adept enough at moving through Saltburn silently that Felix hadn't heard that awful floorboard that creaked right before the bathroom door.

Oh there was purpose to this, you were sure. Felix knew the feeling of Oliver's gaze upon him, the want he so callously toyed with, seeing it in Oliver's eyes all too often. All the world's a stage for Felix Catton, you just wonder what kind of reaction he's trying to pull from tonight's audience. Settling back in with your book, all you can do is wait.

When you hear the water start to drain from the tub, you still take your time, give them both time for anything to occur, before you feel a sense of disappointment or defeat in your heart.

"Can I come in and brush my teeth yet?" You knock loudly at his door and hear Felix laugh on the other side.

"Since when do you knock?" Wrapped in his robe and sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Felix is drying his hair with his towel as you come in. Before you can answer, he follows it up with, "since when did you care if I was in the bath for that sort of thing?"

"It's called respecting your privacy, Fi," you tell him, swanning past him to get to your toothbrush. You do give pause, however, stopping in front of him, and he lowers the towel, as if in anticipation. For a moment you lift his chin, loving the way he grins in almost sappy anticipation, and you give him a quick peck on the lips before you're moving on again and he's back to getting the water from around the edges of his face and ears.

Oliver, who'd watched the whole exchange after slinking into the bathroom from the opposite door, looks quickly at himself in the mirror as you join him in collecting your toothbrush.

"Do you want me to start respecting your privacy?" There's half a joke in Felix's voice, since it's a strange sentiment for you both, especially at Saltburn. Oliver's gaze flicks to you, then to Felix in the mirror.

"If I needed privacy I know you'd respect it," toothpaste on your brush, you leave Oliver's side of the bathroom to join Felix, the two of you having devolved from a real conversation, into some kind of silly, mock-conversations entirely consisting of eyebrow movements, and trying not to choke on your laughter as you brushed your teeth.

Oliver was watching, of course, Oliver was always watching, but you kept noticing the way he'd glance at the bathtub as it continued to drain between the three of you, stealing focus. There was tension in his shoulders, in his gaze, in the way he held himself. Never turning away from the sink - you'd bet he was hard. Oblivious Felix - at least that's how he appeared - was doing nothing but the most mundane bathroom task, which still wasn't able to help Oliver's current state with the way he was glowing, content and beautiful in the steamy bathroom, hair still slick and curling and clinging to his beautiful face.

You watch Oliver swallow hard in the mirror, but then his gaze meets yours. In this moment you don't do anything, you barely acknowledge what you saw, but you see the rapid way he starts to blink as he looks away, as if hoping he'd imagined the look in your eyes.

You finish brushing your teeth in silence after that, only stopping to wish Oliver good night after Felix does, the two of you closing your door to the bathroom.

"I'm going to finish my chapter then I'll be right with you," you tell Felix with a warm smile, picking up your book on the balcony as he yawned loud and wide. He tells you there's no rush, that he'll be out in only a few minutes. True to his word, after a long day, his deep breathing starts to take over not too long after the lights go out.

Except for the one in the bathroom. Just as you'd expected.

You turn out the lamp on the balcony, and move quietly through the darkness. Yes, you know the way Saltburn creaks and moans, know how to make yourself known, or how to slip through the shadows like you're made of them. The old house is well maintained, the hinges on doors don't creak if you move them right, you can slip into the role of observer with ease if you know how.

Behind you, you close the door almost all the way, making sure the latch sits flush with the door for privacy without it's click of proper closing giving you away.

The water is still draining from the tub, Felix's water, and Oliver there along with it. The running water echoes through the old pipes, but not loud enough to cover the lewd noises you hear from the bathtub. The slurping, the moaning, the grateful sighs of contentment to be afforded this moment of perversion.

You let him have his moment. Then you let the door click shut.

Immediately Oliver sits up, panic on his face; he looks like he wants to say something, to explain himself, say anything, but he can't seem to find the words. It's like he was expecting Felix. Or even if he was expecting you, he was expecting judgement. When you remain quiet, remain observant, you watch his panic fade to something wary.

Why? You knew exactly what he was doing, why are you just standing there, watching him? You can see the questions in his eyes, and feel your heart rate pick up. Slowly, you move towards him. Slowly, you let yourself smile.

Oliver sits back in the tub, never taking his eyes off of you, the way you stalk around the space, predator and captured prey, caught red handed. Your fingers trail the lip of the tub, graceful, threatening, until you get to him, his shoulders pressed against the porcelain. His expression is taut, defiant, ready to push back against any kind of mockery or blackmail attempts, you assume.

No, you want him to relish this moment.

You curl your fingers in his hair, leaning down by the edge of the bathtub to make sure he finally sees how pleased you are by this development. The moment he realises, you can see his thinly veiled panic turn to a conflicted kind of desire. But you don't give him another moment before you crash your lips to his, wasting no time, licking at his lips to deepen the kiss, to taste Felix on his tongue.

And you climb into the bath with him, sitting on your knees between his spread legs, mouth on his like you're desperate to devour each other. Oliver is pressed against the edge of the bath, one arm along the edge, the other braced beside him, his mind still catching up to the moment even as he gasps into your mouth.

You break the kiss, the faintest hiss from your kiss-bruised lips being all he needs as a reminder to be quiet. Everything about him has changed, has become needy, pupils so shiny and dark with lust you could lose yourself in him. Instead, you let go of his hair, taking his jaw in a forceful grip, tilting his head to the side roughly, fingernails digging into his cheek. But his eyes flutter closed, choked kind of whimper escaping him, half muffled behind your hand over him mouth as you carefully angle his head back a little further.

He'd indulged himself in Felix's bath water, pressed himself into it, tried to lose himself in it, and the remnants of those moments of extasy clung so delicately to his skin. You take your time, kissing delicate drops of Felix's water from Oliver's beautiful features like a lover, temple to cheekbones down to his jaw. When you finally relax your grip on him, his head tilts enough for him to meet your gaze. Oliver is yours, totally and completely at your mercy. Good. Once his gaze moves to your mouth, to the pleased, hungry smile you wore, he couldn't look away.

With your hand trailing down his body, teasing against his ribs and belly until your nimble fingers find their way beneath the elastic of his pyjama pants, he tries to meet you in the middle, tries to kiss you, but that's not how this game goes.

The hand you'd been using to brace yourself over him pressed against his chest, pressing him back against the porcelain, and you go with him, your cheek pressed to his, lips by his ear, his heavy breathing, desperate panting in your own. The hand on his chest finds his necklace, entangling two fingers in it until it became tight enough that you could feel the hard way he swallowed when you finally wrapped your hand around his achingly hard cock.

"Good boy," you purred into his ear as you worked your hand up and down his cock, already leaking precum into his boxers. Oliver bites down on your shoulder to muffle his moan, and you have to fight to keep your own whimper quiet. The two of you find a rhythm, panting echoing in each other's ears and Oliver's hips rocking to meet your hand each time.

When you move away, Oliver looks momentarily despairing - no, please, don't stop! - in his eyes, but you reassure him with a languid kiss as you ease his pyjama pants down enough to properly free his cock. Now, when you sit back on your heels, he watches you with a dark kind of want in his eyes. Like a cornered animal, unsure of what to expect, but full of anticipation nonetheless; he watches you reach behind yourself to the drain, to the last remnants of Felix's bathwater still clinging to the metal and porcelain. You gather as much of the liquid as you can across your fingers, palms pressing into the mostly diminished puddles.

You can see it when Oliver realises what you're doing, the way his eyes transfixed on your hand as you wrap it around him. Already slick with his own precum, your hand glides with the remnants of Felix's water. Oliver's head drops back against the edge of the tub, mouth open and desperate and gasping, his eyes closed. God he's gorgeous like this.

He coaxes you up to him this time, and you let him, press yourself to him, rocking gently along with the movements of your hand and his hips, close enough to fucking to tease you both. For all this was about Oliver, every part of you felt alive and on fire with need, and seeing him like this, getting him into this state and knowing how he looked at you, how much he wanted you in this moment, it was doing things for you. Fantastic things.

When he gets close, he wraps an arm around you, hand holding the back of your head in a far firmer grip than you'd been anticipating. But there's a thrill about it, about how he holds you so tightly, his lips by your ear as you obligingly speed up to meet the frantic pace of his hips.

"Felix~" he keens, a desperate whimper in your ear amid dizzying, gasping breathes, hot against your neck. And again, Felix's name pulled from Oliver's lips like a desperate prayer for only you to hear. Something about hearing it tips you over the edge, and you realise how close you are in this moment. All it takes is you making the faintest whine, a noise of encouragement -

"Felix, please," Oliver gasps, and your breath catches as you see stars behind your eyes. You barely feel it when Oliver sinks his teeth into your shoulder once more, his orgasm hitting mere moments after yours, cumming all over your hand and his stomach. Finally, Oliver lets you go, eyes wide as you lean back with the widest, satisfied smile. There's blood on his lips, watching you with this unreadable expression as you sit back on your heels again.

Your head's still spinning, endorphins pulsing through your blood alongside the adrenaline.

Neither of you move for a long moment, still sizing each other up it seemed, at least until you raised your hand. Oliver all over you. You won't be the one to back down; his eyes meet yours and you smile, all satisfied and wolfish as you slowly lick your fingers clean. He's transfixed again, watching the way you lap him up.

No-one's ever looked at you like that, like they're desperate for you to devour every inch of them. But the moment can't last, not outside of your memories at least.

You leave in silence, just as you'd arrived, leaving Oliver alone in the bathtub, watching you like he can't quite be sure it wasn't all a dream. You hope he dreams about this, about your blood on his tongue and Felix's name on his lips.

Except you reach for the door handle only to realise it's cracked ajar. Its closed over, door almost flush and closed, but not quite. Huh. You could have sworn... But you shrug off the thought, slipping back into your room and making sure to shut the door properly behind you.

Pyjama pants and underwear both damp for several reasons, you pull them off and quickly toss them into the laundry hamper. At this moment, you can't bring yourself to bother with anything more than a new pair of underwear before you're crawling into bed beside Felix. Who's on his side.

Huh.

Felix never sleeps on his side because it messes with his shoulders. He's also still, like he's holding his breath. When you curl an arm over him, cool hand resting on his chest, you can feel his racing heartbeat. Finally, his breath comes stuttering out. Pressing yourself up against him, you hum faintly, hand drifting lower, teasingly. You rest your hand low on his belly, between the gorgeous, defined lines of his hips, but refusing beneath his waistband. There comes a faint huff from Felix, but it's indecipherable; he's still on edge, clearly having realised that you'd connected all the dots.

When you speak it's practically a moan, voice low but sharp in his ear as you let your fingers dip lower. What a night it will be to remember, spent keeping your boys happy.

"Fi, you fucking pervert."

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #felix catton x reader #saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #oliver quick x reader #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick smut #oliver quick x y/n #oliver quick x you #head heart hand fic #manic writer

[what-even-is-thiss]

If you’re trying to get yourself out of the purity culture mindset of even touching or thinking about “bad” things corrupts people and you’re still Christian or at least still believe in God in some capacity my advice to you is to remind yourself that

A) God is not your judgemental aunt. They see everything and therefore probably have a pretty good understanding of things like harm reduction and how the human brain works considering They invented it. Yours and other people’s involuntary thoughts and coping mechanisms aren’t the enemy winning they’re part of being human and if anything knowing the thoughts you have shouldn’t be acted on is a good sign about your personal character.

B) Certain things you’ve been taught are harmful either aren’t harmful or aren’t as harmful if precautions are taken. Premarital sex is the classic example. Traditionally abstinence was the only reliable way to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies but we’ve got the technology now to reduce the chance of that stuff significantly. Besides, if you like it and are being careful and respecting your partners it’s very likely no harm at all will come of it. If you cause no harm on purpose, that’s not a sin. That’s just using what He gave you to have a good time. And even if it was a sin His whole deal is forgiveness. This doesn’t just apply to sex either. Watching media that depicts “immoral” acts, doing drugs, and many other things can be done safely or at least have their impact minimized. Follow your best judgement on these things and when appropriate try to guide people around you to reduce harm in their own lives as well, but don’t try to dictate for them what right and wrong is in their own lives.

C) God basically is the entire universe. They can’t be harmed or destroyed by human action. The universe isn’t a tug of war between God and evil. God made the rope. You or anyone else making mistakes, having a difficult time forgiving someone, sinning, having weird or nasty thoughts from time to time, or doing or making something that blurs the lines between morality or immorality can’t hurt God or the universe. She’s too big for that. And forgiveness and mercy are kind of Her whole thing. One mistake or even many isn’t an earth shattering event. You’ll be okay.

Basically what you need to remember when trying to train yourself out of this mindset of purity culture and never doing anything bad ever is that you need to work to make your default assumption that you’re trying your best, so is everyone else, and judging whether or not something is actually harmful isn’t always a clear cut and easy thing. God understands nuance. They gave us humor as a gift to cope with the struggles of the world. Learning a bit of flexibility with yourself and others isn’t always easy, but you can do it. Rethink your knee jerk reactions. Pray about it if that helps you, and most importantly be kind with yourself and others who are on this same journey. It takes time to unlearn some harmful attitudes you may have been taught. And that’s okay. You’re doing fine.

#roman said a thing #religion mention

[whiskersz]

Husk/Angel/Reader, reader coming out as gender-fluid but is mostly masc aligned but has to put up with misgendering bc of liking fem fashion and how they support reader

Yay, poly relationship! I hope you enjoy the little fic and the format, decided to mix up hcs and ficlet :)

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

When you come out as Genderfluid, both Angel and Husk are very supportive; you guys have been dating for a while at this point, and they were already aware of your struggles with gender, but they never minded one bit, just wishing for you to be happy and healthy, and to eventually find out what fits you best, whether that meant discovering a label you’re comfortable with or deciding not to label yourself at all.

Husk is, let’s say it, not the most well versed in these kind of things, but he does identify as Pansexual so he knows a thing or two about the community. He gathers his own information though, don’t worry, he doesn’t really need you to explain everything to him; unless it’s something deeply personal that only you can explain, in that case he’ll take you aside and ask you in the kindest and most non-judgemental way possible.

Angel is very excited for your discovery! He immediately asks if there’s anything he and Husk can do to make you feel more comfortable, maybe if there’s any pet names you prefer on some particular days or if you need to go shopping for new clothes that are gender affirming. Husk considers the latter a wonderful idea and offers to pay for anything that you might buy, if that is the case.

All in all, both of your boyfriends reveal to be your biggest support system within the Hotel, and probably in the entirety of Hell.

So it’s only natural that, when you three encounter a form of misgendering for the first time, they’re very protective of you over it;

It’s not often that you venture out of the Hotel with both of your partners, but today you three decided to go shopping for a couple new garments; your outfit could be described as fairly neutral, you’ve settled on wearing the most comfortable things in your closet to make it easier for you in case you’ll need to change and try anything on.

The chitter-chatter between Angel and Husk fills your ears and filters out the various cursing and screaming that’s, as usual, coming from every corner of the street – you’re used to it though, this is Hell after all.

You reach your destination fairly quickly, a small shop in an alley situated not much far away from the Hotel; Husk keeps the door open for both you and Angel, holding his pouch tight as it contains the money he’s brought with him in case you decide to buy anything.

The shop is cute, walls wine colored with white rose patterns scattered across them; you comment on it before an employee makes their way towards your little group:

“Welcome, what do you need?” she asks, voice flat, her tail swaying in an almost irritated manner.

You pay no mind to it and answer her question:

“Uhm, I’d like to look at the dresses section please.”

“Sure, follow me.” She gestures at you three before leading you to a different room a bit in the back, which is surely brimming with dresses of any kind.

You glance at the ones more on the chic side, already daydreaming about all the dates you could wear them on; Angel wiggles his eyebrows and nudges you when your eyes are caught by a black mini dress worn by a mannequin.

On the right side are the cuter dresses, the ones that are mostly meant to be worn during summer. They’re pretty, but most of them are of a color that you don’t particularly enjoy.

Right in front of you are exposed a couple of more dapper ones, you notice Husk eyeing those himself and you already know he’s imagining you wearing them, which makes your heart beat slightly faster.

“I’ll be nearby miss, if you need further assistance.”

And with that, the employee leaves. But oh, she used a word that she shouldn’t have.

Before leaving the Hotel, while having a light breakfast with your boyfriends, you had told them about how you specifically wished to be called masculine terms today and that you prayed nobody was going to misgender you. So it’s only natural that Husk’s ears shot up and Angel immediately turned towards her once they realized too.

“Leave it guys, she doesn’t know.” You stopped them before they could say something overly mean.

“Nothin’ wrong with correcting people, sweetheart.” Husk argued;

“Right! Hey toots-“ Angel calls her over once more, explaining the misunderstanding and communicating to her your preferred terms today since she is going to be helping and working with you for a while. He does so with such authority that she profoundly apologizes by the end of it, which is rare for anybody in Hell.

“Stand up for yourself when we’re not around too, alright?” Husk reminds you once the exchange between Angel and the employee is over.

“The old man’s right,” Angel teases, “We don’t want you feeling uncomfortable. But am I glad you didn’t have to interact with that woman because man, she was an ass at first!”

You shush him rather quickly, scared she might still be in hearing distance. Husk doesn’t help you at all, way too busy nodding at Angel’s statement.

Once they make sure one last time that everything is alright, you guys resume looking for the perfect dress.

Husk guides you towards the cheapest but still classy options, lots of dark shades and perhaps even accessories, while Angel proposes various things that are the complete opposite of that.

You know very well that they’re just suggesting though, and you can calmly look for a dress that you like while they check the options they enjoy the most.

You end up finding one that’s of your liking with the help of the employee, who this times seems to be acting in a way nicer manner than earlier; it’s in your favorite color, perfect for any occasion just like you like it, and both your boyfriends thrillingly approve!

 At the end of your little shopping spree – Angel ended up finding something for himself, too – you’re mostly glad that your boyfriends were there to make the whole experience a little less uncomfortable than it would’ve been had you gone alone.

You’re also delighted to see that both of them are ready to stand up for you in any situation, no matter how insignificant you might think of it as.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #husk x reader #angel dust x reader #husk x reader x angel dust #husk x angel dust #x reader #genderfluid reader #masc aligned reader #poly relationship

[notfreetoday]

MPW Ep 5 Subtitle Corrections

Masterlist: EP 1 || EP 2 || EP 3 || EP 4

Y: 釣り合うわけないじゃん Y: 相手はよりによって　これだぞ　これ Y: There's no way (I) can match up (to him) Y: To this (person), of all people, this!

Ep 5 is about Yoh struggling with his desire to "match up" to Segasaki, and the objective difference that he sees between the two of them. It's different from Ep 2's struggle - which arose chiefly because he felt insecure about where he stood with Segasaki. This time, Yoh's struggle is predominantly with himself - because now he has to face up to his worst fear confirmed - that maybe he really is incompetent. And this time, he has to do it without the aid of alcohol too.

I've seen a lot of people talk about how Segasaki shows Yoh his love in every way but in words, and that that's the reason for their miscommunication - but that's not true. He may not use the word "love" or "like", but culturally these words are not often used anyway. What Segasaki does say however, multiple times throughout the show in fact but most clearly in this episode, is essentially "I like it when you depend on me". It's as direct a reassurance as you can get to the fear of being hated because of his perceived incompetence - but that's just the thing - Yoh's perception is skewed by his self-judgement. So, it's not that Segasaki can't use his words - the problem is that Yoh isn't ready to listen yet. Despite this, Yoh's confidence in his relationship with Segasaki is growing every episode. He might not realize this consciously, but it's right after Segasaki comforts and cares for Yoh at his lowest, that Yoh also drops to what is arguably the most casual speech level he's ever gotten with Segasaki (thus far) - and in response, so does Segasaki.

So, same translation disclaimer applies, Ep 5, let's go! (no twitter space for EP 5 probably because of the fan meets).

Y: 学生時代から不定期でもらってた単発の仕事も途切れて Y: 完全無職だ Y: あ、せめて、家事ぐらいはちゃんとやらないと Y: Now that the one-off jobs I've been receiving on an irregular basis since I was a student have been cut off Y: I'm completely jobless Y: Ah! At the very least, I have to do something as small as the housework properly.

Y: だって　そういうのがすきなんだよ、俺は Y: But, actually, that's what I like Yoh's explicit use of the personal pronoun "I" here again emphasizes that this is his own opinion. The way this sentence is phrased also gives the impression that Yoh feels a little aggrieved at the whole "your male characters are irritating to male readers because they're too perfect" explanation his editor gave him.

Y: *そりゃ、ほっといたら描いちゃうよ Y: **お前のせいだ Y: お前みたいなのが　***近くにいるから Y: バーカ Y: *Well I mean, if I'm left to my own devices then I'll end up drawing (him) Y: It's all your** fault Y: It's because someone like you, is (always) around*** me Y: I~diot. *The "aggrieved" feeling is even stronger in this sentence - Yoh is basically saying that he doesn't set out to draw the characters that way - it just sort of happens, and well it's not his fault, because as long as no one (including he himself) is paying attention to what he's drawing, well then, the characters just turn out that way. ** This is the first time that Yoh has referred to Segasaki using the informal pronoun "お前 (omae)" for "you". Depending on the context, it could be considered a rude pronoun, but is mostly just seen as a marker of masculine speech, and thus leans more towards being simply "impolite". It's the same pronoun that Segasaki uses when he speaks to Yoh - but Yoh usually uses the slightly more polite "あんた(anta)" instead, both in his head as well as when he speaks aloud. The switch here emphasizes Yoh's accusation, that this is all Segasaki's fault. ***the phrase here is often used to say that someone is "by your side" or "here for you" and doesn't only refer to physical distance. So, although he's using "omae" and "blaming" Segasaki for his characters turning out looking perfect, these 4 lines actually still sound pretty intimate. Together with how he drags out the word "idiot", this is very clearly Yoh's amae, similar to what we saw in Ep 4. I... will probably write a post about amae as well, because it's so important to their relationship.

Y: 洋服を着たまま海に溺れるように Y: 暗いものが染み込んで Y: 黒いものを吸い込んで Y: ブヨブヨになった体はずっしりと Y: 重く　重く。。。 Y: It feels as if I'm drowning in the ocean whilst fully dressed Y: The darkness seeping into (me) Y: The blackness pouring into (my mouth) Y: My body, now swollen, sinks heavily down Y: So heavy. So heavy.

S: なんだ　いるじゃねぇか S: 電気も付けねぇで　何やっ S: Oh so you are here S: Not even switching on the lights, what were-

S: *あちゃ～　これやり直しだな S: *Ahchaa... This needs to be redone then..

*This is just a sound that you make similar to "oh man..." so I'm not sure why it was translated so forcefully as "it's no good"😅 This sentence is another example of soliloquy, or talking to oneself aloud, that is common in Japanese.

Y: ご飯、ない Y: ごめんなさい Y: すぐ準備する S: *しょうがねぇなぁ　ほら立て S: 行くぞ Y: Food... there isn't any Y: I'm sorry Y: I'll make it soon S: *What do I do with you... come on stand up S: We're going

Yoh is really down here because he loses practically all his words. His first sentence is literally "food, none", and when he says I'm sorry he uses the casual (but full) version "gomen nasai" instead of "suimasen" like he usually does. It makes him sound a lot younger than usual, and overall just adds to the kicked-puppy vibe really well. *しょうがねぇなぁ (shouganee naa) - this is a common phrase that literally translates to "there is no way (to deal with this)" or more commonly "(this situation) can't be helped". It's used to express a sort of acceptance, like in a "oh well, it can't be helped, so don't feel too bad" or "well there's no way this could've been avoided, so let's just get on with it" sorta way. Here, the way Segasaki adds "naa" at the end with a rising tone, actually makes it sound a little indulgent - like when you find your puppy made a mess but it's too cute for you to feel upset and you just love it more. (Also, this is a really common way to show affection between characters in dramas/anime - when one character is down in the dumps, another will be like "well what am I going to do with an idiot like you, I guess I have to help, right?")

S: 葉　とりあえず　口開けろ S: Yoh. In any case, open your mouth first

S: ごちそうさまでした (gochisousama deshita) S: Thank you for the food This is a standard phrase said at the end of a meal (it's counterpart is "itadakimasu - I gratefully partake" said at the beginning). It expresses gratitude to everyone involved in making the meal possible - from the farmers who grew the vegetables to the person who cooked the meal, and yes, even to the animals themselves. Usually, you would say this to the person who made the meal, or the one treating you to it, but it's Segasaki here who leads the saying of this phrase. This isn't weird at all, given the broad meaning of the word, but it is reminiscent of what a parent would do at home, or a teacher would do in school (Japanese teachers eat with their students in class).

S: なんか落ち込んでんの？ Y: 漫画が　とてもだめです* S: You seem a little down about something? Y: My manga is... really bad.* *desu form is back, to give emphasis to this sentence. That said - and I'm really not trying to belittle Yoh here - but similar to the "food, none" phrase earlier, this sentence is just so short and simple that it just makes him sound, well, young. Imagine asking someone "you don't seem to like that person?", and they look at you all serious and say "they're a bad person" - it just sounds unexpectedly young and innocent, and the whole "desu" at the end just tops off the kicked puppy vibes for real. It's why Segasaki snorts a little and smiles.

S: お前漫画がだめだと　こうなんの？ S: えっ　そんだけ？ Y: うん S: ふーん Y: そんだけってなんだよ Y: こっちは　今にも　死にそうな気分なのに

S: So when your manga is bad you become like this? S: Eh? That's all? Y: Mm. S: Hmm~ Y: What do you mean "that's all?" Y: When here I am feeling like I'm about to die soon In case you were wondering, "that's all?" in Japanese sounds exactly as it does in English, so no blaming Yoh here for being all 😟 about it.

S: ほら*　早く来い S: Now, come here, quickly. *ほら (hora) - I last highlighted this word in Ep 3, but Segasaki actually uses it a lot more that just these 2 instances (not least because Yoh's always avoiding him). It's simply a word used to get the listener's attention, like, "look here" or "now" or "see" or "come on" etc.

S: 今日はお前がされるがまま*で気分よかったわ S: もっと落ち込め S: Today you did exactly as you were told, so I felt really good S: Be dejected more often *されるがまま - this phrase means to passively go along with whatever the other person says or does to you, without any resistance (it can also refer to letting nature take its course). It's mostly used to describe a negative situation since it usually implies that the person has no free will of their own, but can also be fairly neutral as in "I followed the waiter's recommendations exactly". So, it's quite amusing that in these 2 sentences, negative sounding words are actually meant to be really sweet (just like how Yoh's "I hate you" sounds eh?).

Personally, I also appreciate how this is a callback to Yoh's monologue in Ep 3, when he talks about noticing the way Segasaki looks just that little bit happier when Yoh listens to him. Here, Segasaki confirms it for Yoh (and us), reinforcing to Yoh that he really doesn't mind Yoh depending on him one bit.

Y: こんなの本物の恋人同士みたいだ Y: あんた*　まるで本当に　俺のこと好きみたいじゃん Y: Like this... it feels like we're a real live couple Y: You*... it's as if you really do like me *We're back to Yoh's usual "anta" here for "you", instead of the "omae" he used earlier.

S: しょうがねぇなぁ S: What do I do with you This is the same phrase as earlier, when Segasaki found Yoh by the laundry machine.

Oh, the moon is beautiful isn't it? 🤭🤭

Y: だって　俺の漫画は世間に求められてないわけですし Y: But, it seems like the world doesn't want my manga... The phrase "the world wants/doesn't want" is commonly used when talking about finding one's place in the world/society, and young adults often say this when trying to figure their life out. So yes, not so uncommon a phrase that this sentence sounds ridiculous, but it definitely does sound a little dramatic. Hence Man-san's response.

M: *甘ったれんな　思い上がんな M: Don't be so *spoiled. Don't think so highly of yourself. *The is the same word, amae, that Man-san used in Ep 4 when she said Yoh was being affectionate with Segasaki. This is another meaning of amae, and it is used in a negative way here, which sort of shows you the complexity of this concept. Underlying it is the message that it's okay to be dependent on your loved ones for your emotional needs, but you still need to take responsibility for your own life.

M: 衣食住の保障された環境でのんびり描いてて　 M: 一回仕事が途切れたぐらいでうじうじ言ってんのか M: 本気で気に食わない Y: 万さん　オーバーキルです M: Being able to draw freely without having to worry about your clothes, food or lodging M: and yet acting all wishy-washy the moment something as small as getting your work cut off just once happens M: I really can't stand that Y: Man-san, that's overkill The term Man-san uses to describe Yoh's current living arrangement is the same term that Segasaki used in his not-proposal, so this suggests that by now Yoh has told her everything about how they got together (and I love that Man-san totally does not judge). It's not explicitly talked about in the show, but despite their similar status as Segasaki Otakus, Man-san does often come across as something like a mentor figure to Yoh, or at least someone senior to him in the Manga world. For one, she speaks very casually to him (for a lady, she sounds as rough as Segasaki tbh 😅), even for someone from the Kansai region, and she often gives him advice. Yoh usually speaks to her informally, but in this whole conversation he does shift up to the desu/masu form often, in response to her scolding him, because she's really going at it (even after taking into account her usual speech pattern😅) and well, he's smarting a little at the moment 😂

M: 世間がどうとかじゃなくて　ダヨちゃんはどうしたいの？ Y: え？ M: ダヨちゃんにとって　漫画って　そういうもんだったの？ M: もうちょっと落ち着いて　考えな M: Rather than thinking about what the world wants, what do you, Dayo-chan, want to do? Y: Huh? M: Is that all that manga is to you, Dayo-chan? M: Calm down a little more and think about it yea?

Y: かたじけのうございます Y: I am indebted to you! This is a very very archaic way to say thank you, think like samurai-level archaic. These two definitely live in the world of manga 😂😂

S: もう体調は戻ったのか？ Y: はい　おかげさまで* S: また　崩してくれても**いいんだぞ Y: ええ？ S: Have you recovered now? Y: Yes, thanks to you* S: It's okay to feel down again for me** too you know Y: Eh?? *Okagesamade - standard phrase you use when someone asks after your health, or when you want to express gratitude for someone else's role in your success/improvement/recovery etc ** 崩してくれて (kuzushite kurete)" - adding "kurete" at the end like this literally means that Yoh does the action of feeling down for Segasaki, rather than just "it's okay to feel down again", which is why Yoh responds in such a surprised manner. As he did before, Segasaki takes what normally is a bad thing and talks about it like it's something good instead. It's his way of emphasizing that Yoh depending on him isn't an inconvenience, in fact, it's something that Segasaki is happy to be on the receiving end of.

Y: これから自分たちをモデルにした漫画を描きに行きますなんて言えないし Y: そもそも、万さんのところにしばらく通うことを許してくれるかどうか。。。 Y: なんとか説得しないと Y: It's not like I can just say "from now on I will be going (out) to draw a manga based on us!" or something like that and... Y: In the first place, (I don't know) whether or not he'll allow me to go to Man-san's place regularly during this period... Y: I have to find some way convince him.

Argument breakdown time, things get intense~~

Y: あの。。。 S: ん？ Y: 今日　編集部で打ち合わせをすることになった* Y: Um... S: Hm? Y: Today, I have a meeting at the editorial department* *Literally, "It has been decided that today (I) will be having a meeting at the editorial department" - this might sound like an indirect way to say "I am going to a meeting" but it's pretty par for the course when speaking politely. Except, Yoh doesn't use the polite form here like he did in Ep 4, nor does he phrase this sentence as an explanation that he's going to follow up on. Nope, by Yoh's usual standards, this is An Announcement, so it's no wonder Segasaki is immediately suspicious.

S: はあ？　仕事切られたんじゃねえのかよ？ Y: いや　そ、その。。。新しいやつ Y: しばらく　忙しくて Y: 場合によっては編集部に泊まりもあるかも S: 昨日の今日で　そんなことあるか？ Y: たまたま連絡がきたんだよね S: お前　なんか　俺に嘘ついてない？ Y: う、嘘じゃない S: いや　おかしいだろ　泊りって S: お前　まさか変な仕事じゃねぇだろうな？ Y: そんなこと。。。ないよ！ S: Haa? Didn't they stop giving you work? [じゃねえのかよ - Segasaki slurs the end vowel here, and adds the end particle "かよ(ka yo)" at the end, which is a rough way to express doubt or surprise, and usually implies some irritation. This, combined with Segasaki's trademark annoyed "haa?" results immediately in a rather flustered Yoh, who stutters a little on the next sentence] Y: No, it-it's... this is a new one. Y: For a while, I'm going to be busy and Y: Depending on the situation, staying overnight at the editorial department... might... be... necessary... [No end particles here - this is still a statement, and would sound stronger if not for the fact that he's hesistating so much] S: And all that just happens today, on this day, just one day after yesterday? Y: ...It just so happened that they contacted me, you see... S: You... are lying to me, aren't you? Y: I-it's not a lie! S: No, it's weird isn't it, to stay overnight? S: You - don't tell me - you aren't doing some kind of shady job are you? Y: There's nothing... of that sort!

S: 葉 Y: はい S: Yoh Y: Yes (hai)?

Yoh's been making a valiant effort to stick to his story throughout this whole conversation but his tone changes completely and he pretty much gives up once Segasaki points out he's lying. In response - and this is not easy to hear but if you want to, go back to about 19:56 or 19:57 of this episode - do you hear Segasaki's small "tsk", after his sigh and before he says Yoh's name? Clicking your tongue, or "tsk-ing" someone is a very very rude way to express frustration or anger in Japan. We're talking get-into-drunk-fights level of rude, if you do it to a stranger. Amongst close friends and family, you're more likely to draw shock first, since it shows the depth of your anger, but they might still get pissed with you afterward. Here at least, Yoh can tell both from the tsk and Segasaki's tone of voice, that he is Not Happy, so he answers Segasaki with a proper "hai" here too.

S: ちょっとここ座れ* Y: はい S: 早く S: Come sit here* Y: Yes S: Be quick. *Slurred "r" on the word "suware" - sit makes this sound very very rough. Segasaki doesn't normally do this, so again, this is him angry, and he's going to slur his r's quite a bit more.

S: お前さ　自分の立場わかってんの？ S: 分かってねぇだろ　分かってねぇから　泊りで仕事とか言い出すんだろうが Y: え～っとだから 遊びに行くわけじゃないし。。。 S: そうじゃねぇだろ S: ああ～もう S: 金か？なんか欲しいもんがあるなら買ってやる Y: 違くて　少しはさ。。。 Y: 自分が稼がないとって S: 必要ない　なんで分かんねぇかな S: お前は稼がなくていいんだよ S: Listen, you - do you even understand what position you're in? S: You don't do you? You don't understand and that's why you can just say things like you'll stay out to work overnight. [This is harsh. Not only is the speech rough, he's still slurring some of his "r"s here, and the ending particle だろうが emphasizes the forcefulness of this statement and Segasaki's frustration - and you can see the effect it has on Yoh.] Y: Umm well... it's not like I'm going for fun or something... [This is indignant, but also nervous - Yoh's speaking a lot faster than usual, and he has to drag the filler words at the beginning out before he can figure out what to say.] S: That's not what I'm talking about is it! [slurred r again] S: Argh I swear - S: Is it money? If there's something you want then I'll buy it for you [more slurred "r"s] Y: That's not it! Even just a little - [This is the first time Yoh uses the end particle "さ (sa)", and just like Segasaki, he's using it to draw attention to what he's saying, essentially the equivalent of "listen!". This whole line isn't rude, but it is direct and it's probably the most forceful Yoh has gotten with Segasaki so far, even compared to their argument in Ep 2 - Yoh might have physically pushed Segasaki then, but he mostly just sounded hurt. Here, he's very tense, but he's cut off by Segasaki biting his ear.] Y: - I should earn some money myself (at least, I thought so) [This is more like how Yoh usually voices his opinion - by "hedging" his sentences a little with "I think" and so on to sound less direct - though he's still using truncated forms here, so he's not quite back to his usual level yet] S: There's no need to. [To self:] Why don't you understand? S: It's fine even if you don't earn anything. [Similarly, Segasaki softens this sentence just a tiny bit by tacking on a よ(yo) at the end]

Y: でも! S: あのな　俺はお前に漫画の仕事がなくなろうがどうでもいいんだ Y: But! S: Listen to me. I don't care at all whether you lose your manga work or not. [To be fair to Yoh, the phrase "どうでもいいんだ" literally means "it's fine either way" but it tends to feel like "I don't care because it doesn't matter/make a difference to me/doesn't really involve me", so you can see why it triggers him.]

It's interesting to contrast Yoh's reaction here with the above 2 times Segasaki says something with a negative connotation. Of course, Segasaki also sounded a lot sweeter then (though in his defence, he didn't have to worry about why Yoh might be trying to lie to him all of a sudden), but the biggest difference really is in Yoh's mindset.

Y: え？ S: 当然だろ S: だから余計なこと*すんな Y: なんだよ　どうでもいいって Y: 漫画のこと　分からないなりに　応援してくれてるもんだと思ってたのに Y: あんたにとってはくだらないことでも Y: 俺にとってはすごく Y: すごく大事な事なのに Y: 全然よくない Y: バカにすんなよ！ Y: Huh? S: Isn't that obvious? S: So, don't do unnecessary* things [*余計なこと - This phrase is used to refer to the problems that arise from whatever thing/action is in excess, and so has a negative connotation. Yoh is too fixated on the previous line to notice though] Y: What's that (supposed to mean)... "I don't care" Y: I've always thought that manga was something you supported me in, despite not knowing much about it, and yet... Y: Even if to you, it's something trivial Y: To me, it's something that's extremely Y: It's something extremely important and yet... Y: This is definitely not ok Y: Don't look down on me! [word contraction - again, by Yoh's standards, at least when he talks out loud to Segasaki, this is a drop in speech levels]

Y: 絶対あんたより稼げるようになってやる Y: 漫画で! Y: I'm definitely going to become someone who can earn more money than you! Y: With manga! I think difference between simply "earning more" and "becoming someone who can earn more" is important here - because it isn't about money - it's about competence. Yoh thinks his own worth is calculated in his ability to do things "well", be it in his work or at home. By that measure, Segasaki is worth everything and Yoh is sorely lacking, hence Yoh wants to "become" someone that is, in his mind, worth something. Because if he does not, then inevitably, Segasaki will one day come to disdain him.

There are so many times in this episode that Yoh hears things that should cement their relationship in his head, that he even recognizes as couple-like and accepts without protest - Man-san referring to Segasaki as Yoh's boyfriend, Segasaki losing his whole "man-of-a-few-words" thing and saying more to him in this episode than in any other, verbal confirmation that Yoh depending on him is something he welcomes etc. And yet, Yoh's fear filters all of that out and he hears only what sounds like his own self-judgement in Segasaki's voice. It's no wonder he lashes out at Segasaki like that, though really, who he's really attacking is himself. Afterall, sometimes when we hurt ourselves, we hurt the people who love us too, as we'll see in Ep 6.

(That was quite the arguement though, wasn't it!)

#my personal weatherman #taikan yohou #体感予報 #MPW subtitle corrections #mytranslations #segasaki x yoh #segasaki definitely uses the wrong words sometimes #but it's not like he doesn't use the right ones either #until yoh acknowledges and believes in his own strengths #segasaki could promise to love yoh for all their natural lives and then some #and yoh would still fear that segasaki might hate him #sorry i just see so much discourse about how things could be solved if they just used words #but it's not about what is being said (or not) #it's about what is (and isn't) being heard

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile - Alhaitham

Finally got this one done!

---

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Alhaitham is the type of obsessed that has a slow descent. It's not an "at first sight" sort of thing, like some obsessives might experience.

When Alhaitham first meets people, he doesn't think much of them, he's not the type to make assumptions or rush to conclusions, be it positive or negative, unless the person makes a particularly bad impression within the first conversation (this can be accomplished by being generally rude or condescending, but of course, that's not too common of a neutral encounter). While this means he's not particularly judgemental from the get-go, it's not necessarily a positive thing either -- he knows far too well that many people can appear very pleasant at first, as one often does with strangers, but this is, of course, a social courtesy. Not that it's one he really plays along with, seeing as he has no problem being upfront and blunt with people, but he knows that most people abide by a sort of social convention of expected politeness and cheerfulness to strangers.

Thus, when you first meet him, he doesn't have much of an opinion of you either way. It's a quick exchange, you come to drop something off at his office on an occasion he happens to be there. You smile, speak in a pleasant tone, thank him and leave. The same as pretty much everyone. The incident is forgettable.

He'll still recognize your face, though, seeing you at a distance. Not that he's the kind of person to strike up conversation for the sake of it, but he'll sort of see you out of the corner of his eye in a public area or crowd. A subconscious recognition he barely takes into account, doesn't think about, it's just there in the back of his mind.

Once that happens again, and again, he might give it a passing thought, that that's the same person he's seen a few times over now. You get to have another, longer interaction -- basically the same thing again, dropping something off, but this time you ask a question or make a comment or something, thus prolonging the conversation if but only for a few seconds. The memory of that exchange sticks with him.

Eventually, he finds himself looking forward to it. Not that that's a big deal, you're a pleasant person after all, and even if he's not fond of socialization, he can't help but enjoy your nice attitude towards him. He's self-aware enough to know that that obviously indicates he's developing an attachment of sorts, but that in and of itself isn't a bad thing. Contrary to how some might view him, it's not as if he doesn't have people he considers acquaintances, people he's fond of.

Likewise, sometimes a few days in a row will pass where he hasn't seen you around, and he'll find his thoughts wandering to you. What you're doing, what you're up to. Of course, you only come see him when you have something to drop off, and oftentimes it's when he's not even there, he'll just find a folder or paper from you laid on the desk. But sometimes, for once, he finds himself staying in his office a bit longer than usual. As if by some chance, if he stays just a few minutes more than usual, that will ever so slightly increase the chance he might be present at a time you decide to stop by. And once or twice, it actually does work, so he discovers.

It's never for a prolonged period of time or anything. Just brief interactions, quick exchanges. He imagines you have plenty of those with plenty of people throughout your day. Something about that realization, as it comes to him one day, almost feels a bit upsetting. To realize that the interactions aren't anything special, that he's just one of countless people you probably talk to each day, seeing as your role seems to revolve around being a messenger and errand-runner of sorts.

Those thoughts become more and more common. Day by day. Gradually increasing. He's not sure at what point he recognized the odd feeling you give him, but he's certainly been aware of it for some time now. At first, the emotion strikes him as something frustrating. An annoyance. An inconvenience. Having something that keeps occupying his thoughts begins slowing the various processes involved in both personal and professional tasks, it takes a toll on his efficiency.

He's aware of the emotional and sentiment itself -- it's a very natural occurrence, after all. Like any animal, humans are biologically programmed with mating instincts, and even if it works against one's best interest, those instincts will persist, create urges, nonetheless.

But you've been nice to him, he can't bring himself to direct that frustration at you. In fact, whenever he sees you and speaks to you, that irritation goes away, but is quickly replaced by a more awkward feeling, a different sort of frustration. Frankly, it feels shameful, although those reactions are certainly what those sentiments tend to be known for causing. That just makes it feel more frustrating, though. The knowledge that this feeling is likely part of his own innate brain function, yet it's out of his control.

But, whatever, it's not anything that's going to cause a problem, it's just something he'll keep to himself and never act upon, and eventually, life will naturally take its course and you'll likely change positions or move somewhere else, and he won't really see much of you again. Until then, he'll just quietly live with it, and keep his thoughts about the matter to a minimum.

...Or at least, he tries. It proves difficult to do so. What makes it worse is the inherent gradually more and more irritating conflict between what his conscious mind wants to do and get done, versus the way his subconscious seems to constantly cause his thoughts to drift, and soon he snaps out of the thoughts and realizes he's been sitting there staring at a report he was supposed to be reviewing for the past twenty minutes. The feeling that one's own mind and body won't cooperate with one's active will is infuriating, more so than he has ever dealt with before.

Talking to you becomes a sort of craving, and he finds that the sort of natural high that it gives him in turn diminishes the negative feeling for a while. Thus, against his better judgement, he finds himself seeking you out.

All in all, he's has a methodical, generally calculated way he approaches most matters. The first few conversations you had were candid, yes but beyond that it becomes carefully premeditated. You never know that the interactions are intentional, it's always presented as coincidentally running into you. Thankfully for him, you never seem to suspect otherwise. He gets a good idea of your schedule, your habits.

But he can't do it constantly, or you'll know it's intentional. Yet, the urge to see you is still overwhelming, consuming all his thoughts, making him jittery and restless. The only solution, then, is to just... watch you. He begins to develop a habit of keeping an eye on you from a distance, often while working on other things too. When he's by himself, he can't concentrate very well, but when he has an eye on you, when you're within his range of sight so he can look up every now and then, it's an incredibly relieving feeling, and he can actually focus and be productive.

Of course, it does bother him, he's perfectly aware of how abnormally intense he's getting. That, too, makes it all that much more frustrating. To know it's all in his head, yet he can't mentally will the feeling away... what an incredibly inconvenient function of the mind. He tried the deprivation method once already, thinking that if he forced himself to not see you for a while, it would help, and the desire to see you would decrease... but it doesn't. He also even searched around for academic material related to the subject to see if he could find anything in the psychology archives, but most of what was available was all either advice from the perspective of the victim of stalking (and yes, seeing the word "victim" used as a descriptor was deeply unnerving, he had to take a few minutes to get over the realization that it isn't incorrect, he just hadn't thought of it that way...), or legal and procedural guidelines on the subject (possibly even more unnerving).

It worries him, starts to make him concerned for the sake of his productivity and self-control. Hopes he won't do something to make a fool of himself in front of you... or even worse, if you were to catch him following you.

He just can't stop. And worst of all, he knows that sooner or later, if the pattern thus far is anything to go by, it will just get worse. And yet, he feels stuck, there's nothing he can really do to fix it, and that leaves him with a horrible, worried feeling of helplessness...

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

He starts off fairly normal in terms of his desires and urges. In the earliest stages, he would never dream of doing such a thing. He's certainly not an unnecessarily straight-edge person who always follows social conventions and standards of ethical behavior, no, but he's a generally well-natured individual who by no means would intentionally do something wildly illegal and harmful for nothing but selfish gain.

For some, these ideas sort of have to slowly work their way into infecting the mind. The individual will initially reject the idea they deem absurd or unthinkable, blow it off as an intrusive thought that means nothing, only for it to slowly cement itself in their innermost thoughts, until suddenly the idea no longer seems so outlandish as it once did.

Alhaitham falls into this category. It takes a while before such thoughts take root in his mind. The process is slow, gradual. It will be one little intrusive thought that seems to venture just beyond the standards of normalcy, something like discontentment with uncertainty to your current whereabouts or well-being causing begrudging remark to himself to pop up in his head -- if only he could keep you in one place, all the time.

If only, then he wouldn't have to worry... but that is, of course, unrealistic, and ridiculous. You can't simply do that to a person. He doesn't think much of the thought itself, though; after all, intrusive thoughts are by nature often bizarre and unrealistic. Sort of like the phenomenon of how, when people stand at a spot overlooking a great height, they may suddenly have an odd compulsive thought that they could leap off the edge. But, of course, the average person would not actually do that. Very odd and certainly highly unlikely to be acted upon, of course, but despite how bizarre such thoughts are, it's recorded to be a very common psychological phenomenon, meaning that intrusive thoughts aren't abnormal, only acting upon them would be abnormal. Such thoughts are just some odd hardwiring in the brain. This is no different.

Those thoughts, however, seem to begin to gradually become more and more frequent. Not only that, but they become somewhat... perhaps darker is the appropriate descriptor. More intense in terms of the severity of the content of the thoughts.

He catches himself thinking about the matter almost casually. He'll be working on something at random, one of those idle tasks that requires no real thought and therefore allows the mind to drift. It's bad enough by itself, but in particular, the spontaneous fantasies get a bit darker if he's been busy and gone a few days without any sort of relief, which starts to occur and align with those times he finds himself fantasizing every now and then. The unreleased energy builds up and leads to a frustration, which results in his mind going almost immediately to much more graphic, explicit types of thoughts, the imagery in his head.

But he still catches himself in the process. He stops. Blinks a few times, rapidly shakes his head for a second, as if to expel the thought. For a few seconds, he's in a state of pause, as if surprised by the very thought he's caught himself in. Yes, the initial intrusive thoughts he could dismiss, but as time goes on, the severity and frequency starts to feel worrisome, strikes him as concerning, leaves an unpleasant sensation like a knot in one's stomach. But even though it does bother him a bit, he still doesn't really know exactly what to do about it, which leaves him sort of stuck.

What's he supposed to do? Thankfully, he knows the law well enough to know not to go to a therapist or something of the sort -- revealing any sort of thoughts that could make you a threat to yourself or others can get you involuntarily committed. He's actually rather grateful he's aware of that fact, or else he might have unknowingly walked right into that. It's doubtful that a professional would interpret 'yeah I have vivid fantasies of imprisoning someone I've never spoken to for more than a minute at a time' as anything other than unwell. So that's out of the question.

The only other obvious idea would be to distract himself, and he does try. Makes an attempt to immerse himself in other interests and responsibilities, takes up a new pastime even. It doesn't work. Even while working on other things, he finds himself spacing out, and sure enough, within no time his mind is back to those same thoughts.

Over the course of time, it begins to slowly wear down his resistance. The thoughts start to feel "normal."

One of the problems is that he tries to reason with himself, think it through very logically to dissuade himself, and even intentionally seeks out material in hopes of discouraging himself. Problem is, it has the opposite of the intended effect. It starts to sound rational, doable. Even the ethical aspect of it ceases to bother him nearly as much as it once did. Every point he was using to hold himself back and refrain starts to fall apart, the longer he thinks about it, the more he looks into it.

'I don't have the means to get away with it.'

Well, no. Now that he thinks about it, part of the general curriculum all young students take involved some chemistry, and he could very easily make sedatives and tranquilizers. It wouldn't be hard.

'I couldn't carry the body from one place to another without being seen.'

In fact, he scoped out the route to prove that to himself... only to find that your dorm is a singular one, at the very edge of the campus, where almost no one goes late at night.

'I wouldn't have the opportunity.'

And yet, following you around for a bit proves there are plenty of windows of time where you're alone, especially in your own dorm at night.

'I'd be found out eventually.'

But after doing some research on the matter, he comes to learn that the vast majority of kidnapping victims are never found, the opposite of what he was hoping to see. If it were the case, if there was a huge chance of him being found out, he could refrain on those grounds alone, but knowing how possible it is, how easy it would be, imagining it in his head and how cleanly he could pull it off... it's too much. It pushes him over the edge.

Impulses are such an odd thing, the way they can cloud the mind, lead one to act almost subconsciously, against their better judgement, the adrenaline of it too strong to break free of the sort of trance it puts one into. Still, it's not as if he doesn't plan ahead at all. The whole thing is sort of a haze, not just the acting-out stage of it. He hasn't exactly mastered the fine art of kidnapping, but there's some obvious measures that should be taken beforehand. He finds himself wandering over to this or that specific store, this resource storage unit, slowly collecting necessary things, taking necessary precautionary measures, refreshing his knowledge on how sedatives are made and work. All without actively acknowledging it at the time, lets his mind become preoccupied with unrelated thoughts while going about it, but nonetheless knowing why.

Still, it's more of a distant thought, one that slowly becomes more and more "real" as the day approaches. He doesn't actually remember circling one day in particular on his calendar. That too must have been something he did subconsciously at some point. Nonetheless, he knows what it indicates, and as that day grows closer, he gets more uneasy. Still, that same adrenaline haze and dissociative state of mind allows him to ignore the still very much present sense of reason -- yes, his reasoning and rationality is still there, and quite active. If anything, the two forces create a great deal of internal conflict. Maybe that rationality could have won out, if he'd just had one little circumstance go differently, or just let himself think about it a bit longer... but it doesn't. Instead, he finds himself arriving at that day, quietly waiting for the sun to set and the right time to come along, and when it does, his feet seem to move on their own.

You would think this sort of thing would slow down one's perception of time due to alertness, but it's actually quite the opposite. Maybe it's the adrenaline, or maybe just panic, but regardless, it all seems to actually happen very fast. One second he's leaving his house, looking each way to check for potential bystanders and witness risks, and in the blink of an eye he's already made the trek over to where your dwelling is. Waiting and waiting... that's the only part that actually seems to take a while, the painstaking, frustrating waiting period. Not to mention the thought of how pathetic it would seem if anyone were to see, concealing himself in shadows of the buildings, crouching in shrubbery up to his waist, like some kind of stalker... well, now that he thinks about it, he probably does qualify as exactly that... but he tries not to think about that.

When you actually do finally show up though, when your soft footsteps approach closer and closer, unexpectedly, he freezes up. For all that planning and premeditation and self-convincing, now that the moment is actually here, there's a second of hesitation. Maybe it's the look on your face, visible even in the nighttime darkness. So happy and blissful and so innocently naive of danger lurking so close. And he would be taking that away from you, ruining it. That feels suffocating. For just a split second, he almost feels like he can't bring himself to do it.

...Almost.

That second of hesitation passes, mind snapped out of it by the keys jingling in your hands and subsequent realization that the window of opportunity will be lost as soon as you close the door behind you. That's what breaks the stiffness of hesitation, makes his feet move forward on their own again.

Of course, you do thrash around, rather fiercely, presumably putting all your strength into it. You drop the keys, reach your hands up to claw at his own latched over your mouth. Your muffled cries against the fabric pressed to your face are, admittedly, quite gut-wrenching. But it only lasts a few moments. Your full weight then falls back against him, limp and silent. All in what feels like a heartbeat.

The journey back also passes by fast -- although perhaps not quite as much so as the walk to your home, seeing as he's now hyper-alert of every sound, shape and shadow, looking out for any potential witnesses. Of course, he already has an excuse ready to give if seen on the way back, something about you being sick or passed out, but nonetheless, the ideal number of encounters is zero.

And that works just as hoped. No encounters, no issues. It almost feels like the will of the universe is on his side or something, with how easily it goes. And thankfully, the adrenaline is still strong enough that the whole weight of the reality of it all and thus having to come to terms with his actions hasn't quite come crashing down just yet... although he's aware that will happen any minute now. For now, he just has to get you inside.

Except that actually turns out to be far from the biggest hurdle that remains to cross over. There's also one other very significant, pressing issue that can't be overlooked. And yet, in all his careful planning, he somehow, amazingly, did overlook it. Forgot to think about one critical detail in the plan, one that should have, by all means, been so incredibly obvious that it's literally astounding that it somehow did not occur to him until that moment.

He walks through the front door, takes a few steps in, does that sort of ever-so-slight tossing motion to re-secure your position in his arms. Comes to a freezing halt as he passes by a table towards the front of the house.

...

There's several seconds of suspended silence.

He looks at Kaveh. Kaveh looks at him, equally frozen still mid-pen stroke. Looks down at his arms and the contents thereof. Looks back up at him. Blinks a few times. A few more seconds pass.

...This isn't what it looks like. I can explain.

Yes, he knows he's digging himself into a hole, but the look of pure bewilderment on the other's face combined with the situation as a whole leads him to actually lose a bit of composure for once, trying to find an explanation that makes sense. And yes, the fact that he's lying is only going to dig said hole even deeper, and he's pretty sure the lie isn't being bought, but he comes up with something about how you were a drunken passerby stumbling outside of a nearby tavern, practically fell right into his arms, so he's just letting you stay here the night is all. He'll get you wherever you need to be in the morning.

Of course, he's immediately hit with a barrage of questions, but the insistent rambling just gives him an excuse to dismiss them all with claims of explaining in the morning. No, he's not going to sleep out here in the main room, he'll just sleep on the floor of the bedroom is all, he says. Going to such a measure would be unnecessary.

That will, at the very least, give him some time to think of how on earth he's going to actually explain the situation without his tenant going off on him, if not worse... he'll have to tell him the truth eventually. Granted, he does consider a what-if along the lines of if he'd brought you in another way and kept you away, but... no, it would be impossible to hide you from him forever. Best to get it over with now. Rather than entrenching himself in some complex lie, he'll have to just break it to him slowly... after all, he does depend on him for a living space, so he can't afford to have him dragged off to prison or anything, right? Maybe he can exchange silence for a rent reduction...

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

Restraint is a simple process, and he already has that planned out ahead of time, at least for a temporary solution. Primarily, it's just locking you in a room. Gets a deadbolt installed on the outside of the room prior to bringing you home, and gets a barricade bar installed as well. At first, you'll actually be confined to the bed itself, but he knows that's not good for you both in terms of psychological well-being as well as your muscular health and hygiene, so he'll try to progress to the stage where you can roam the room as quickly as possible... hopefully you'll be cooperative.

He really, really does want your cooperation. He's not really sadistic, nor cruel -- a bit callous at times, sure, but really, although he understands you aren't going to be thrilled when you wake up and have to have it explained to you (not that he does so very well, he basically just leaves it at that you'll be staying here with him and nothing more), he would really prefer that you accept your situation and get used to it as much as possible, that you cooperate and try to make the best of it. Ideally, you could even come to be fully content with your circumstances... but he tries not to let himself hope too much, seeing how unrealistic that thought is. Yes, it would be nice, but for his own sake, he has to enforce it even if you're not cooperative.

Don't expect any help from the other inhabitant, either. You're still not sure what sort of miracle-working Alhaitham pulled to make it so after that first night, but somehow, he managed to convince Kaveh, albeit very reluctantly and almost certainly with bribery involved, to at the very least not ruin things by going to an authority. He's still far from happy with it and very clearly uncomfortable, that much is evident just from his facial expressions and heavy sighs and general avoidance, but he's compliant nonetheless. Turns out, if the homeowner goes to prison, the house will be reclaimed by the Akademiya, and, well... anyway, he seems to just try to ignore it, pretend the situation doesn't exist to the best of his ability... which becomes more and more of a struggle.

Thus, the primary issue making escape difficult is that you're more or less under constant monitoring, seeing as there is rarely a moment where both residents are absent from the home. You don't really get opportunities, seeing as even if you were to find a way to exit the room, you couldn't get out of the house without being seen. Perhaps you could manipulate Kaveh's sympathetic nature, but he almost seems to know you'd try that, and makes it a point to avoid walking by your door whenever Alhaitham isn't present, largely because he knows he wouldn't be able to resist if you pulled some guilt-tripping measure. So you'll have to scratch that plan.

The only real chance you'll get is the very rare occasion that you're left fully alone, should you somehow manage to undo the locks and break the barricade bar by some incredible means. Should you somehow manage to do so, and should he come home to an empty house... he has to struggle to keep calm. It's one of the few times in life he truly, outwardly panics, eyes blown wide and shaky as he makes his way out to look for you.

Should he actually manage to find you before it's too late, or should your escape attempt be foiled in a way that makes it obvious that you did try, well... you feel surprised at first that he doesn't seem too upset. No yelling, no outrage, just... quiet. A very cold, tense sort of quiet, but quiet nonetheless.

Truth is, he can't blame you. Any thoughts of being mad at you seem ridiculous and foolish, he would feel ashamed to get upset over something you both know full well is in the nature of any person in your situation. Of course you want to be free. And here he is, dragging you back, making you miserable. The whole thing really depresses him for some time, he doesn't talk to you for nearly a full day, and even then it's just a word here or there. It takes some time to go back to normal.

But hey, at least you don't really face too much consequence for it, he's too hurt and demoralized by your attempt to even summon the anger required to do anything about it... but he may have to force himself to take disciplinary measures if it becomes a repeated incident.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

He has the same duality seen in a lot of "genius" types where he is both amazingly perceptive, and yet, can every now and then be astoundingly, almost comically dense. However, unlike some others with the same trait, he leans more towards perceptive than dense, just not always. So it is, in fact, possible to trick him, but only sometimes. It's a toss-up, you never know which way he'll go in a given scenario, and unfortunately that unpredictability means it's taking a  significant risk each and every time you want to try.

Lying to him is something that does irritate him, but there are other things that would make him far angrier. That is, lying is not the absolute worst thing you can possibly do like some others might treat it, but it's not a good idea. One of the particularly unfortunate aspects of this is that he remembers each incident very well and never forgets an offense, so you'll just dig yourself deeper into a hole over time the more you make a habit of lying.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

Privileges are something earned over time, and he'll get progressively more and more lenient as time goes on... thankfully, he's not one of those who would keep you at the same strict restriction level forever, but he's also not the type to be naively lenient. He knows full well that you'll take any chance to get out if that opportunity presents itself.

At first, you're confined to the bed, and then that progresses to being confined to the bedroom as a whole. Of course, he meticulously goes over every single object in said bedroom to ensure there's nothing laying around that you could use to your advantage or to attack him. Over time, he takes the same pattern commonly seen in such abductors, wherein he gradually increases the space to which you're confined -- first it's the bed, then the whole bedroom, then he'll start a sort of trial period in which he tests how you're willing to behave if you're allowed into the other areas of the house, under very close supervision.

Should you present problems, you'll just go right back to room confinement. But if you should behave well, he can get just ever so slightly more lenient, in which you're allowed to semi-freely roam the house -- just under supervision. He won't stay right by your side the way he does during the "trial period," and you can wander to the other side of the room and do your own thing if he's working on something, but he will make sure you're still in his sight at all times. When he's not at home to watch you, you'll still be confined to the room.

Well, unless he can convince Kaveh to watch you... that takes a lot of your complaining, of course, because at first he would never think to do so on his own. It would be far too easy for you to convince such a bleeding heart to let you go or do things you're not allowed to do, and he can't trust him not to get distracted.

But still, after a while, you start to whine and whine about it. He's here, so why do I have to stay in the room? He shuts your argument down the first few times, but the whining becomes annoying enough that he finally says fine, that he'll consider it. Granted, he knows it'll take convincing (and probably further reductions to his pseudo-landlord side income), but hey, maybe it'll earn some favor from you.

He's still very cautious about it though, never leaves you two alone for any extended time, should you try and convince Kaveh to let you go. Or even worse, a thought that admittedly is an embarrassing paranoia, but he can't help but let it cross his mind nonetheless, what if you pulled some stunt to seduce him and then used that to get out while he passed out, or use it to get him vulnerable enough to really injure him or something... ugh, he doesn't like to think about that. Not for Kaveh's wellbeing or anything, that's less important, but getting essentially cucked might be even worse than going to prison for his crimes.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Once you are confined, he can set actual guidelines. However, he's more likely to just... make sure you can't do the things he would prefer you not to by simply making it unavailable. Anything he'd not want you to see or read or mess with will be safely locked away, or kept where you can't reach. This includes anything you could use to harm him or yourself, as well as things like rat poison and sleeping pills... wouldn't want you poisoning his food or anything.

Which does bring up another matter, that if possible, provided you've been at least somewhat compliant, he'll essentially delegate tasks to you to help him out. You're bored, right? You complain about having nothing to do, so, once you're trusted enough, you can, you know, help out a bit, clean up around the place, make food (under supervision initially, and more trusted as time goes on).  And in addition to each newly earned freedom, there has to be some responsibilities that come with that.

Eventually, should you make a habit of complaining, the bastard even has the audacity to suggest that if you're so bored, here, do his job for him. Copies of a bunch of of reports and applications for you to review. You're a student, so you can at least have some idea of standards, right? Just highlight parts you think are issues, he'll still read it of course, he can't trust you that much, but your notes will make the process go by faster. That should kill a few hours. Have fun.

Otherwise, he's not the sort of individual to enforce behavioral rules in terms of attitude. Forcing you to be all sweet and smiley would just make you resent him, and it would be fake, not authentic. He's also the sort of person who sees no point in inauthenticity, wouldn't derive any satisfaction from you being pleasant towards him if he knows it's performative or manipulative or done out of fear or pressure. Why anyone would want or enjoy that is beyond him, it doesn't make sense if you ask him.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He's at an impasse. Alhaitham is not exactly the most socially inclined person in the world, and while he normally doesn't really care too much for abiding by social conventions of appropriateness and politeness, and has very little qualms with coming off as rude to or offending someone he finds distasteful, he still is self-aware enough to be embarrassed by the thought of trying to intimidate or directly confront someone like that. Making a scene, or even just doing something foolish in front of you, is an avenue he does not intend to take, and would in fact prefer to avoid at all costs.

That being said, he can get driven up the wall by individuals he finds irritating or obnoxious, and the concept of a "rival" in that sense is a quick way to become someone on his mental list of such people. This puts him in a disadvantageous position -- he's not someone who will be overtly and immediately confrontational, but rivals do get under his skin quite a bit, so he's basically just left to suffer the frustration and paranoia whilst feeling relatively helpless to do much of anything about it.

Overall, he's very unlikely to kill. He's not particularly impulsive or rash, so he wouldn't do so on a whim, and he's pretty good at regulating his emotions, so even if it's infuriating, he can manage to keep calm enough not to make a mistake he might regret. And as an individual with higher-than-average self-awareness, as well as a reasonably normal and functional sense of conscience, he'd prefer to avoid killing even when given the chance to premeditate, as well.

It's not as if the thought didn't cross his mind, though, especially at some particularly infuriating moments, like when you give the other person seemingly positive responses. Of course, he can easily recognize that violent urges are a natural response to irritants, but it still feels discouraging, as he would usually think himself above such things, he considers himself a respectable person with dignity, the sort of person who doesn't resort to violence unless necessary.

If that persists -- that is, you keep responding to said rivals' affections in ways he would prefer you not to -- he'll most likely take a sort of alternative route that doesn't seem like quite the same blow to his pride. If he were to resort to homicide, that would be incredibly shameful, he'd feel disappointed in and ashamed of his own self for stooping so low over something so selfish... so, by contrast, abusing his authority doesn't seem quite so bad. Even if the thought of it does still make him feel some sense of shame, all he has to do is think of it comparatively, and when you consider it the alternative to killing someone, it seems far less ignoble by said comparison, and thus, comparing it that way makes him feel both less shameful, and more bold.

It's actually rather easy, provided he's still Acting Grand Sage, but even if before or after that period of his life, he can always write a few things here or there, file a report for this or that anonymously, then claim to have witnessed the same thing himself, adding to credibility, feign some evidence if necessary. Turns out it doesn't take all that much to get someone removed. He tries to go light on them and merely fake some offense to get them on probation or something that will have them far away from their former post, but if it does get them get expelled entirely... well, he's not complaining.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

He gets irked easily.

It would be incorrect to say that he doesn't show it, but he doesn't show it very loudly, or in a way that draws attention. Oftentimes, you can look at his face and body language and easily tell he's displeased, but he'll stay relatively quiet if it's not significant. With mildly irritating things or people, even though he has no real qualms with getting blunt with people if need be, most of the time it's still easier and less bothersome to just keep quiet and try to ignore the object of irritation.

It's not at all difficult to push him past that line, though. Again, he has no issues with getting very blunt and direct with people if need be, and will not really hesitate to tell someone exactly what he thinks of their behavior, attitude, or actions, nor will he soften his words.

Well, most people. With you, it sort of depends. Oftentimes, you're actually no exception to that -- he might hesitate for a mere moment, but if you persist even once, he'll outright tell you if you're being irritating or bothersome, all in that tactless, blunt way of his. However, truthfully, although he would never admit to it, he does have a soft spot for your feelings and can be very weak to any pitiful displays. So if you look hurt or sad after he says something very direct, blunt and insensitive, or as he's starting to speak a few sentences, he'll stop mid-speech, sigh, turn back to whatever he was doing and mutter something along the lines of just knock it off or just don't do that again. He can't be mean to you, he'd feel terrible. He already struggles with finding ways to express affection, so it won't help if the only sentiment you get from him is negative, it will just push you away.

That all being said, there's a limit to that. If you really, really push him, do your best to cause problems and antagonize him out of spite, he can lose his patience, and the irritation become enough that he does lay into you without any filter or buffer for the sake of your feelings... only to immediately regret it when your eyes get all teary, you either stomp away and slam the door on your way back to the bedroom, or if already in there, you pout and throw yourself down onto the mattress, cocooning yourself in blankets pulled over your head, and don't respond to anything he says.

Great. Now you're upset, and he's screwed up and made things worse... the sensitivity of others is a huge part of why he's not fond of socializing, and yet it's unavoidable when he actually wants someone in his life. He's still actually rather frustrated at you, but the wallowing in self-directed frustration is even worse. He'll just have to just suck it up and try to get you to not be upset anymore. So after giving both of your selves a while to calm down in separate rooms (if you were both in the bedroom, he'll leave to go cool his own head), he'll try to go back into the bedroom and talk things out with you and--

...Hey. Did you -- you locked the door from the inside. Goddammit. Open the door right now, or else...

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

He's fairly apathetic, the type to sigh at the mention of such a concept. People trying to determine whether or not another person is "greater" or "lesser" than themselves based on some arbitrary, undefined concept of "value" seems like the sort of thing that some of the more irritating types of pretentious, pseudo-intellectual academics in the philosophies would obsess over, he knows plenty of individuals of the sort. Besides, it's honestly a rather logically erroneous concept, really.

He can recognize individuals as better or worse in particular areas. It's akin to that whole venture he went on regarding the individual fixated on evolving the human condition -- he can acknowledge where one person's skills lie versus another's, and how productive or useful a person might be. But that's an applied sort of value, and where one individual lacks it, another might have it, and vice versa. An entirely different matter than the idea of an individual having some overall, collective, cumulative worth composing their entire person, based on some undefinable standard. There's no such way to measure or evaluate such a thing, since it cannot be practically applied like a degree of value in one particular area could be, therefore, he would actually conclude that the very notion is fallacious.

Notably, though, when it comes to the whole practical applied worth thing, he's not the type to be blinded by affection. That is, if you're terrible at something, well, he'll know, he won't be self-deluded into perceiving it as good. Granted, since he does like you, he won't be as blunt as he would with someone whose good favor he cares for as much, but might try to very lightly redirect you to something he feels you to be better-suited for.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

As with most things, he's very practical and straightforward, doesn't lie to himself, doesn't engage in naive wishful thinking. He also recognizes that doing what he did in the first place is more or less shooting himself in the foot in terms of getting any affection from you, a major setback. Sometimes he might even feel a bit of regret, think about what he could have done if he hadn't gone and taken you away from your life and brought you here, how he might have slowly won you over on your own free will.

But the urge was just too much to resist. And even when thinking about the "what-ifs", even when considering how things could have gone differently and worked out in his favor, he's then hit with the reminder that even if you were together on your own will, you'd still have the freedom to leave at any time, you'd still have the option to go places on your own, talk to other people on your own. When he thinks about that, then, the thought is gut-wrenching enough that he finds himself glad he didn't take that route. It's just something he couldn't handle. He knows, as with everything before, that that's not normal, that it indicates a defect, an abnormality in his psyche, but at this point, he's more or less accepted that.

Of course he's going to try, but then there's also the issue that he's not particularly effective or adept at successfully expressing affection, and finds it awkward anyhow, so he doesn't come off as very affectionate. His affection comes across in more subtle and unspoken ways, small acts that remind you he does care for you. He's attentive to your needs, will notice if you look cold, hungry, and so on, and fetch the respective necessity to resolve any such discomfort, without you needing to say anything. If he sees something he thinks you might like, notices an opportunity to do something for you that would make you happy or potentially earn favor points from you, he'll swiftly see to doing so.

He's just not going to do things that would be too awkward or out of line for him and his nature, like verbal displays of affection or clingy physical gestures. His hope is that, nonetheless, you will gradually come to recognize and appreciate the efforts he does make, and that your acknowledgement will eventually endear him to you, override any resentment you have, and gradually lead you to feeling affection for him too.

And hey, if nothing else, he's read enough to have learned before that extended isolation has certain effects on a person. That is, accounts from the past and certain studies would suggest that if a person is kept in prolonged confinement with only one or a few other persons, they will, in almost all circumstances, eventually become emotionally attached to them, given the natural human craving for social connections, and the lack of other available options. So, logically, keeping you here should eventually yield the desired results.

But he's also not going to delude himself into thinking there's progress being made if there isn't. If you're obviously rejecting all of his attempts, he's willing to accept that, although it might noticeably frustrate him a bit. Even if he starts to get upset about your ignoring his efforts, though, he's rational enough that he sort of reminds himself that, well, you do sort of have very good reason to be resentful of him, and when he thinks about it that way, he starts to feel guilty again, can't bring himself to be mad at you. He'll just keep up the hope that you'll start to change your sentiment towards him... eventually.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

While it's not entirely unheard of amongst obsessive individuals, it is still not really the norm to have quite the lack of "rose-tinted glasses" as he does. That being said, he's not overtly pessimistic either.

Most tend to fall into one of the two, making negative or positive assumptions and expectations. They'll either be the hopeful type convinced you will love them and not do anything bad towards them (be it deluded confidence or intentionally trying to keep their thoughts positive), or the pessimistic type to always assume the worst of you, constantly paranoid of how you might be actively working against them and trying to preemptively prevent it.

Alhaitham manages to fall into neither of these two. He has a fairly unique ability to look at virtually anything presented to him with objectivity, far more so of it than most.

He's actually quite level-headed, takes into account anything that happens between the two of you and analyzes what it means and how to work with the occurrence with a fairly non-biased point of view, not letting deluded hope nor paranoia nor bitter pessimism get in the way of his conclusions. It does take active effort -- if he weren't trying, he would be someone who falls into the pessimistic sort of mentality -- but he intentionally reminds himself not to let that mindset get the better of him. He's seen it before in others, and it's always rather irritating to watch people make unwise decisions out of said pessimism, so he uses that as a mental reminder and instead forces himself to be more objective.

Consequently, whenever engaging in any situation involving you, you find that he's surprisingly quite rational, and doesn't give into emotion. This is somewhat beneficial, as he's not going to be annoyingly negative nor overly paranoid to the point of making unfounded accusations or anything of the sort that some individuals with less mental fortitude might do. No walking on eggshells, no irrational insistence of your dishonesty.

Also, once again, there's the obvious roommate matter to be addressed.

At first, Kaveh initially suspected the whole incident was some sort of one-night drugging incident. Has fully prepared some antagonistic commentary on how if he's that desperate to get laid, he could at least try learning to have some semblance of charm before resorting to such unethical measures... but then, it sort of clicks, that locksmith that visited a few days back to install that deadbolt, Alhaitham's absent-mindedness as of late. He's already pretty much figured it out before it's even explained to him.

You actually do come to like Kaveh, over time. Even though his hands are sort of tied in terms of actually helping you, you can tell he feels bad about that and sympathizes with you, it really does bother him. He sort of becomes an advocate for you and your rights and needs, that you quite appreciate. Tells Alhaitham that he may be willing to keep quiet, but he cannot tolerate being complicit in the utter cruelty of locking you in a small space all day, of giving you nothing to do -- complete deprivation of stimulus is basically a form of psychological torture. You know, a very serious crime? Granted, it's not as if there's not already a serious crime going on...

It's because of his incessant bothering that you get provided reading materials, allowed to roam other rooms (it's cruelty to force you into such a tiny space), and are allowed to eventually have a window uncovered if you're well-behaved (people literally need sunlight exposure you know).

Not to mention if there's any arguing of any kind going on, both of you will automatically take the other's side, very commonly resulting in the very owner of the home being two-to-one outnumbered on any decisions (of course, he still usually has the final say anyway, but ganging on up him together and seeing him get so irritated is quite enjoyable).

The whole setup of things sort of goes largely unaddressed between the two of them, funnily enough. There's a lot of occasions of Alhaitham exiting the bedroom after you had made a great deal of noise, to come get something out of the kitchen or living room, making awkward eye contact... the two just sort of stare back and forth, Alhaitham's expression one of usual sternness with some obvious embarrassment and Kaveh's one of unamused exasperation, mouth pulled taut and eyes half-lidded as if to say really? Some silence passes, he walks away, neither one says a thing.

Sometimes, though, it makes for perfect material to use against the man, both in teasing, antagonizing, and blackmailing if necessary.

Any complaints about behavior, any criticisms, any subtle threats regarding missed payments or using his own funds. Now, Kaveh always has an immediate weakness to hit him with, and unfortunately it works every time. Especially with the rather harsh (although he knows it's true) choice of wording.

That's rich coming from the guy with the human slave!

Oh, now the kidnapper is preaching to me?

—if anyone were to find out about the LITERAL CAPTIVE—

He figured out pretty quickly that he's very sensitive to and gets easily guilt-tripped by blunt terms like slave and kidnapped and captive... largely because he knows it's true, and thus it gets under his skin. Plus, there's always that subtle threat of him going off and telling someone hanging over his head.

That being said, it's not entirely altruistic on Kaveh's part. All those ways he helps your quality of life, in turn, alleviates his own guilt. At least if he feels like he's helping you, making things better for you, he can somewhat ignore the reminder of his own complicity in the first place.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Somewhat of an odd mix of being not reserved and very reserved, depending on the specifics of the situation and context of conversations.

When it's purely talking about sex as a concept, the socially constructed and biologically primal nature of it, from a sort of academic standpoint, he has no trouble at all. If you asked a question, say why humans evolved to be largely attracted to this or that or how a certain bodily process works, he could easily explain in full without so much as a stutter, and so matter-of-factly blunt and shameless that it might actually make you feel a bit embarrassed with how openly he says certain things. When it's presented in that manner, it's easy to dissociate it from any application to his own self.

When it's personal, however, rather cutely, he can get significantly more embarrassed. Once again, it's contextual, situational. If it's telling you what to do, giving some sort of command or instruction to move like this, get in this position, or so on, he can do so without hesitation, more due to the absence of inhibition that comes with the heat of the moment and reduced blood flow to the brain. When addressing any activity between the two of you, in concept/abstract terms or especially referring to events in the recent past, that's when he'll sort of stiffen up when talking. Mumbles, gets quiet, seems unable to summon words or say anything, tries to exit the conversation.

He won't refuse to speak if the topic arises, but he addresses everything with such formality, even in casual conversation, it's rather amusing. Always uses the words intercourse or coitus just like be would in the academic sense, and never any terms one would normally use in casual conversation. He'll try to change the subject if it goes on for any extended duration of time, and will get annoyed if it becomes evident that you're intentionally trying to get him flustered for amusement, which you'll inevitably do quite a bit, seeing how funny his embarrassment is.

He's not very touchy at the beginning of things, and at first, it actually takes a while before he'll even sleep with you, in either sense of the word. He has a a natural craving for it, as many people do, but he's not really sure how to go about it. It's something he really warms up to over time, namely by sleeping next to you, which naturally increases his comfort levels. He always waits until after you're already asleep to avoid embarrassment before coming to bed, but then, you gravitate towards his warmth in your sleep. Having you touching like that, but not in a waking state where you could express any rejection, is comforting. It also helps condition him to your touch, get used to it enough that he's more at ease with physical touch with your waking self, too.

In terms of drive, it's highly dependent on circumstances and factors, namely stress. He's one of the sort of person who defaults to using orgasm as a means of stress relief, so if he's under a particularly high level of stress (which, of course, he does try to avoid, but sometimes work just piles up despite his efforts to avoid it), his drive will be significantly higher -- and the sex itself noticeably rougher, with more force and harshness in each movement that you can feel. Otherwise, his drive is fairly moderate for someone of his sex and age, roughly once a day or so.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Consciously, yes, he does care. Again, while not a stickler for the rules or anything (and perhaps a bit lazy on some matters), he's not the sort of person who would do something he sees as not only wrong, but one of the worst acts one can commit, and he's a generally ethical person with integrity who tries to do right by everyone when he can.

For all his general collectedness and respectfulness, though, he's certainly not immune to the ever-alluring power of hormones and his brain's hardwired urge to breed. Ignoring that gets difficult rather quickly.

In the initial days after bringing you home, he spends a great deal of time sort of mentally kicking himself for it -- what was he thinking? Of course you're going to be upset, this eliminates any possibility of you ever feeling positively towards him, it was a terrible idea, it will only end badly... while not outwardly expressed, those thoughts do eat away at him, leaving him depressed enough that it kills some of said urges for some time. Even then, for a while, he actually avoids it, as aforementioned, in part due to his discomfort and awkwardness around touch, and in part due to conscience.

At first, you were somewhat surprised -- you figured someone who would abduct and encaptivate someone most likely had a very obvious intention in mind, so you're somewhat surprised at the fact that he seems to sort of just... let you live there, not requiring anything of you nor doing anything to you. Those first days are awkward enough getting over the initial stages of shock and fear and anger and bargaining, especially as he's not very direct or clear on explaining the situation to you in the first place. He explains it to you as something along the lines of you being too naive and at risk so he felt he had to "protect" you or something, but it's the sort of very weak, half-hearted argument where not only can you tell he himself doesn't actually believe it and it just coming up with that excuse on the spot, but you also know he doesn't really expect you to believe it either, you're both mutually aware it's nonsense to get you to stop asking. If you're the type to be confrontational and bold in the initial reaction stages, though, rather than meek and afraid, and tell him to drop the act, he may very well sigh and say fine, admit that you're here because he wanted you to be and acted on impulse.

Still, when you get to questioning 'what happens now,' what your immediate and long-term future looks like, he essentially avoids the question entirely, and once again doesn't really try to hide that he's doing so. He might even outright say he's not inclined to give you an answer, or that it's a loaded question because you're obviously implying to ask when you'll be allowed to leave, and he has no intention of doing that.

So, for some time, he just sort of keeps you there, in a sort of limbo state where you're just existing in his home and being fed and being given things to do. He can't bring himself to do something that strikes him as so utterly abhorrent.

Then again. He knows a great deal about a wide variety of topics, and recalls information learned years ago: in addition to the fact that forced isolation can create attachment, it's been more or less proven that in primates, forcing physical intimacy can also induce involuntary pair-bonding... but still, it would be unethical.

Perhaps it would have been best if he hadn't recalled that information. Because thereafter, much like the initial intrusive thoughts that led him to take you away in the first place, it begins to creep into his mind, coming back into his head over and over. And also much like that initial time, the thoughts begin to wear away at his psyche.

The most likely scenario to end up happening is that you simply push him too far at the wrong time. You pick a day where he's already stressed, choose to be even more spiteful than usual. You push him just a little too far, you're just a little too mean, and sooner or later, something snaps, and he ends up doing something he regrets. Alternatively, if you're more meek and afraid, he might take the same method with which he brought you here to begin with, drugging you into unconsciousness. You won't hold a grudge or be traumatized and afraid of him if you don't remember anything, right...? Maybe he can convince you that you got drunk and agreed to it yourself, and then you'll change your mind and be okay with it... maybe.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Cockwarming

He can't really remember when exactly he got the idea. Probably when he was painstakingly going through a gruelingly boring set of reports, having to deal with the ever-intrusive I could be having sex right now I could be having sex right now I could be-- thoughts. Alas, if only there were a way to have both at the same time. At some point, those thoughts manifested into another thought -- why can't he? In fact, it seems perfectly doable.

It takes some form of persuasion for you, of course, but at the promise of some form of reward, you agree to come sit on his lap while he does work. You figure he must just want the physical contact, he seems like someone who wouldn't know how to really ask for affection, so this must just be an attempt to get you to show him some -- why are you pulling your cock out.

It was not what you agreed to, but the iron grip around your waist means you aren't going anywhere, and your protests are met with grumbling. Just let it happen. You're being so resistant for no reason. It'll feel good. Just relax. It's not like he's hurting you or anything.

And eventually, with enough of those excuses, you end up sitting there, heavily breathing, speared on his cock upright like food on a stick, all while he reads. Each little movement, each shift of position, rubs against your insides, sends little sparks of pleasure down your spine, almost torturous with how it just barely stimulates you, but not enough to relieve the arousal it creates. You can feel him twitch and shudder, too, each time your insides pulsate or clench. You can, likewise, torture him by intentionally clamping down hard... thus speeding up the inevitable -- because regardless, he's not going to actually get too much work done before he can't take it anymore, anyway.

Marking

The manner of which doesn't particularly matter, anything will do. It's discovered by accident, after unintentionally leaving behind a few bruises and scratches from digging his fingers into your hips a bit too hard. Afterward, he turns his head to look over where you lay, sees the crescent shapes where his fingernails dug in... and then within a short time, the flesh shows bruising too. That probably shouldn't be arousing... but it is, and he finds himself hard again just seeing it.

With time, he learns that it applies to much more than just that. Any sort of markings, visual indicators that have some indication of impact, possession, give him sort of a comforting but egotistical feeling. Often, this comes in the form of being something related to your flesh: scratches, hickeys, occasionally bite marks, and if you get him really sexually frustrated and deprived, or perhaps drunk enough to lose inhibition and be shameless, he might even take to writing on your body. But this can also be in the form of other sorts of visual indicators, namely with cum -- be it on your face, on your back, on your chest, or slowly oozing out of your holes and trailing down your thigh -- and, after going at it long and hard enough, the slight gape and twitching whenever he pulls out.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

If you were to ask the very basic question of whether or not he wants kids at some point, he would nod and say yes, but would hesitate before actually saying anything more, sort of needs a moment to find the right words. His eyebrows do furrow just a bit, as if slightly unnerved by the thought.

Well, if you really think about it, it is the biological hardwiring of most living beings to reproduce. Even if an individual personally didn't want children, most of them still have the innate urges to breed. For him though, it does seem like a nice idea. It's not something he's put a great deal of thought into, rather, it's one of those things that's very "someday" in his head, the sort of thing a young individual imagines they will get around to doing one day in the coming years, but doesn't really intend on anytime very soon.

He's not particularly cautious against it, though. It's not his fault it feels too good in the heat of the moment to remember to pull out... should an "accident" occur, he's not going to be upset or anything, but the issues it presents creates a panic that makes it difficult to be particularly joyful.

After all, how is this going to... work? He could handle educating a child himself, so school isn't necessary, but he can't bring himself to confine the kid to the house all the time. He already feels bad about doing it to you, there's no way he could handle the guilt of not letting his own kid go outside, he'll surely end up taking them out every now and then. But how will he explain suddenly having a kid to people around him? And what about the kid themselves? Sure, it will be naive and won't know any better for a while, but as it grows up, even if he asks them not to, surely one of these days it's going to tell someone about its mother that never leaves the house that no one knows about, and that will spell the end for him.

He doesn't voice any of that out loud, but you can see the worry quite obviously on his face and tone of voice when he talks about it, always stern and quiet. Almost seems to be in denial, trying not to think about it. He still takes very good care of you, seems very concerned for your well-being all throughout. There's a mix of contrasting emotions, because he is happy in a way, but the paranoia and fear is overwhelming. He's not great at expressing emotions like that, though, so he mostly just stays quiet. For now, he'll just have to brainstorm ways to deal with the issues that will arise, and then cross that bridge when he gets to it and hope for the best... not the most ideal course, but more or less the only option.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

He's a bit stumped when it comes to how to handle any outbursts or deemed undesired behavior. Alhaitham is used to having some degree of guidelines when it comes to going about certain processes - usually, in almost any field of work or study, there are standard methods for dealing with problems.

When it comes to people, likewise, there are also set ways of handling conflicts and complications... well, that is, for institutions. On an individual scale, though, one-on-one personal interactions... there's not really any specific guidelines. Especially for someone you want to hold you in high regard.

So what happens is that he usually bites his tongue at first when you get bratty or mean, unsure of exactly how to handle it, thinking that maybe you'll be quiet after a moment... but then you keep going, which in turn makes him more irritated, and then he snaps and it just sort of... comes out. Nothing methodical or thought-through, instead, for once, letting his emotion override any reasoning. He's still rather composed as always, not bursting into a fit or anything like that, but a sort of cold anger, once in which you can tell the very moment he's finally had enough. He stops whatever he's doing, possibly slamming something down if he's holding an object, turns to you with narrowed eyes. Dead silent, but the expression on his face says enough. In fact, the fact that he's so initially quiet makes it that much more unnerving, makes you go silent and take a few steps back in and of itself, usually a quick change of tune as you start to apologize when he takes a few steps towards you, grabs you by the arm with force, and equally silent dragging you to a couch or bed or other surface of choice.

What ends up being his go-to choice of "punishment" is more an exertion of that irritation, holding you down, rutting into your body with painful force. It's more the painful details and humiliation factor that make it a punishment, that make it unpleasant -- it's always from behind, either pressing your face into the mattress, painful tugging on your scalp, or a hand choking your throat. It's only then that he actually speaks to you, sometimes through gritted teeth, often emphasizing certain words with particularly harsh thrusts as each one is said.

Yes, even without the roughness and soreness that comes after, the emotional degradation is what hurts the most -- perhaps it's the thought of being put into a state of such intimate vulnerability, or a sense of being violated and used as a punishment for your actions, or just the humiliation that comes with the not-so-subtle reminder of how easy it is for him to overpower you.

Either way, it backfires for him when you suddenly get quiet and cold towards him afterwards, often staying bundled up and shivering... admittedly, that does make him feel bad. In part, he still finds it justified, will sigh and say something to the effect of asking why you act the way you do if you can't handle consequences... but he's still weak to your sniffling and cold shoulder, and will take on a softer voice and more gentle hand to pat your head or rub your back in an attempt to obtain your forgiveness. If you act pitiful enough, he might even swallow his pride and give you a small apology.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Alhaitham is a thigh appreciator. No particular deeper psychological reason or anything, they're just nice to look at, nice to grab onto, make nice pillows to put his head on. Like with most other things of a sensual nature, he can get a bit embarrassed by his affinity for it, may absent-mindedly reach over and brush his hands over your thighs, just to realize what he's doing and jerk his hands back away and pretend it didn't happen... if you say it's alright and allow it, he'll still hesitate and turn away, implore you to pretend it didn't happen, but with enough coaxing from you, he can become comfortable enough to be more open about it, provided you really insist.

#.ah #alhthm getting group bullied in the comfort of his own home by the very residents he brought in on a daily basis

[venusloveslobotomies]

Wsg wsg, I was hoping for a Professor Chaos x reader x Mysterion, or a Vic Chaos x reader x (p.c.) Kenny

Either works as long as you’re comfortable, and if you’re not that’s totally okay!

Tyty xo

Professor Chaos x femReader x Mysterion

⚠️NSFW WARNING⚠️ please be aware! i cannot control who interacts with my posts so use your best judgement and proceed at your own risk. people have been jumping into the SP fandom complaining about age and friendly reminder that ALL of my works are aged up to 18-20s.

You hadn’t been in South Park all that long. You moved for some peace and quiet away from the big city, however South Park may have just been the worst choice.

Regardless, you were still enjoying your time, attending your classes and working part time. You’d made a few friends so far, however you’d had no luck in the dating scene. Most of the boys your age were too loud or too conservative or just plain not your type. Turns out, it wouldn’t be too much longer until you’d get your fill of love.

Finishing work, you’d gotten changed at home before heading out to the gas station for snacks and drinks. It was your usual routine, which considering it was about 11pm, probably wasn’t the smartest idea. Who knew who was watching you every night?

You headed home, tote bag slung over your shoulder. You went down the main street before turning down a side street. It was still well-lit, however the alleys criss-crossing your path that ran behind businesses were didn’t have such good visibility. Hence why you didn’t quite see the figure on the corner until you passed it.

“Hi, sweetheart.” You tensed and tried to decide whether to stop or keep moving. This falter gave him time to catch up and walk alongside you, “Pretty gal like you shouldn’t be out so late. What’re ya doin’ runnin around in the dark?” When you met his eyes, you noticed the distinct eye of your classmate Leopold. Clouded grey with a deep scar running over the center. However, your usually shy, reserved classmate was dressed… strangely. His face was partly covered in a silver crown… or helm? Was that the word? And a thick aqua jacket and slacks.

“Just… uhhh. Getting my groceries.” You stuttered slightly, not used to the domineering personality he seemed to have now.

“Well now, that’s not the best idea. Isn’t it a bit too late to be makin a grocery run?”

“I guess so, but I work too late to be going earlier.” You’d finally stopped under a streetlamp to speak more politely. You hadn’t really noticed how tall he was before, nor the lean muscles that showed through his clothes. It was definitely making you blush despite the alarm bells ringing in your head.

As he began to speak again, he was interrupted by another figure that lithely landed between the both of you, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Good evening, Chaos. Luring pretty girls astray again?” The cloaked man spoke in a low husky voice that you couldn’t quite place.

“Get outta my face.” Butters growled, stepping forward to confront the new person. This could be your opportunity to escape, but the intrigue kept you rooted in place.

“Do you need an escort home? I’m Mysterion.” He turned to you and offered a charming grin and an arm, “You don’t want to be hanging around a villain like Professor Chaos.”

Your mouth opened slightly, unsure how to cope with two very gorgeous men arguing over you.

“Mysterion, let’s speak in private a moment? Now?” Professor Chaos spoke through gritted teeth.

“Just a moment, princess.” Mysterion shot you a wink before following Butters a few feet away. You didn’t catch much but ‘share’, ‘be fair’ and your name. They stood for a moment in silence, seeming to reach an agreement about… something.

You weren’t exactly sure how you’d been sweet talked into following them, under the impression of some sort of date happening. This was possibly the strangest thing that had ever happened to you but you were missing the hijinks of living in a busy city. And maybe you were kind of attracted to both of them and the loneliness of being a new place had weakened your resolve.

As with everywhere in South Park, it wasn’t too far a walk, however before you could know where you were going, they stopped abruptly.

“So, sweetheart. I gotta ask you a favor.” Mysterion spoke softly, tracing your arm gently, “We can’t exactly have you knowing where either of us work. So… if I can cover your eyes?” He presented a beanie with a sheepish grin. This was a one-way street to get kidnapped but again, your brain was slowly being turned to mush by the attention of these two. Your mind screamed at you to stop and run but you found yourself nodding and allowing Mysterion to pull the beanie down over your eyes. One of them picked you up and began walking. You turned two corners but that was all you could take notice of before you heard a lock click and the wind was no longer brushing your skin. Down a flight of stairs, then another, before you were set down and could see again. Surprisingly, it was a simple kitchen. Mysterion was already helping himself to coffee, asking if you wanted one. You nodded and dropped your bag. Chaos was tracing shapes on your bare arm and it made you shiver as you took the mug from Mysterion. What the hell was happening and why were you ok with it.

They asked you lots of questions about yourself, slowly moving into flirty territory as you went along. Your speech was becoming more and more stuttered as they leaned in, seemingly entranced by your hesitant answers. Mysterion got up, giving Chaos a strange, subtle signal you clearly weren’t meant to notice. He left, mentioning he was looking for something. Chaos made strong eye contact with you and you blushed, looking away, not before becoming aware of the smirk growing on his face. Before you could react he was next to you, tilting your face to meet his. Your lips dropped open slightly in shock as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. He was gentle, but still strong. You melted into his touch after a few seconds and as soon as you submitted to the situation, he pulled you out of your seat and against his body, one hand still resting on your jaw and the other gripping your waist. Your hands rested on his chest and he slowly became more aggressive with his kisses, beginning to bite at your lower lip, demanding you open wider. When you did, his tongue slid in, entangling itself with yours. You tried to suppress the moan rising in your chest but as his hand slid down to squeeze your ass, it just slipped out. The sound was met with a growl from him and he tightly pressed your hips into him. His hips bucked slightly against your stomach and it sent butterflies all over your body. He pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting your lips. He grinned, something mischievous glowing in his eyes. He pulled off your shirt and you tensed at the cold that hit you.

Pressing kisses from your jaw down to your chest, he ran his thumbs teasingly softly over your bra, slowing as they met your nipples. You hissed at the sensation and he licked your collarbone before biting into the soft spot where your neck met your shoulder. You cried out, eliciting another growl from your classmate.

Suddenly, a pair of hands gripped your hips from behind and pulled your ass to meet something hard. The other side of your neck was attacked in the same manner of licking, kissing and biting. You were getting wetter by the minute, pinned between the two most gorgeous boys you’d ever seen.

You felt your bra unclip from behind and fall to the ground. Mysterion’s hands gently gripped your breasts and teased your nipples excruciatingly gently. Chaos knelt down in front of you, kissing and licking down your abdomen as he ran his hands up and under your skirt to play with your underwear and squeeze your ass.

“Such a pretty gal. So soft and submissive for us.” He licked his lips and you whined. You felt a laugh against your neck as Mysterion seemed to get even more intense with his hands on your chest. Your whining cut off into a gasping moan as Chaos ran his thumb over your clothed clit.

“She’s so wet already. What a good girl.” He chuckled and slowly dragged his thumb from your slit to your clit over and over again. Meanwhile, Mysterion gripped your neck and pulled your head backwards to rest on his shoulder.

“Best idea you’ve had in a while, Professor Chaos. She’s a gem. Aren’t you just so pretty?” He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and flattened his hand against your stomach, pulling you flush against his body. You tried your best to restrain the sounds begging to be released. It couldn’t last for long.

“No one can hear you, princess. You should really make those pretty sounds for us if you want us to keep going.” Mysterion’s husky voice really just did something to you that you couldn’t explain. You weren't going to have a choice as Chaos tore off your panties and hitched up your skirt to slide his tongue into you. A strangled, breathy moan escaped you and spurred him on and he continued to lick and suck your dripping core. Your mews and whines continued, slowly rising in volume. Mysterion tilted your face sideways to meet his eyes.

"Look at me, sweetheart." He growled lowly and used your ass to grind his erection into. This really just began to undo you and as you struggled to maintain eye contact, you could feel your climax knotting in your belly. They seemed to notice your heightened state and released you from their grips. Chaos standing up and carefully removing his clothes. As Mysterion let you go to copy him, you almost slid to the ground, not expecting the sudden lack of stimulation. You caught yourself and found yourself stepping back to lean against the table and let your eyes wander over their bodies. They both had lean muscles that were easy to see but not over the top. And they were both tall and... big. Too big for you, you worried. But you were willing to try. Mysterion kept his mask on while Chaos took his helm off. You could see Mysterion's golden blonde hair though as he approached you and pulled you into him. Your legs were jelly and your body was putty in his hands.

He kissed you roughly and rolled his hips against yours to grind his dripping cock against your stomach. You tangled your hands in his hair and pushed yourself against him as tightly as you could. A dark chuckle bubbled from his lips as he felt your wetness against him.

"Use your words, baby. Consent is key." He smirked against your lips.

"Please."

"Please, what?"

"Please, fuck me."

"Yes ma'am." He grinned and slid his cock into you painfully slowly. He lifted your leg to rest on his waist and he began thrusting, pulling whines and cries from your mouth. As his pace picked up, his hand gripped your leg so hard you were sure there would be perfect fingerprint bruises tomorrow. The low moans that poured from him only made you wetter and closer to your climax.

He suddenly slowed down and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips before calling out for Chaos.

"You wanna finish her off?" He shot you a smirk as you groaned in displeasure due to the sudden stop.

"Course I do. Can't let ya have all the fun." Professor Chaos took his place, eyes roaming your body in the dirtiest way possible. He took the slick from your pussy to wet his cock. You wondered how he was coping with the evidently painful erection. "You ready, darlin'?" You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him roughly, practically begging him with that kiss. He started hard and fast, lips still locked with yours as his hips snapped against yours in a subtly unsteady rhythm. His moans were more like growls as he held the nape of your neck, watching your face contort in pleasure. He used his other hand to rub his thumb over your clit. It was hard but not too fast. Just enough pressure and speed to make the knot begin to tighten quicker than before.

"I'm close, I'm close." You breathed out, digging your fingernails into his shoulders, panting as you shook with pleasure and anticipation.

"Good girl. Cum for me." He gripped your jaw and studied your face as you cried out and allowed your climax to wash over you, "Goddamn." He choked out, feeling your pussy tighten and spasm around his cock. His thumb continued relentlessly on your clit throughout your orgasm until you finally went limp. He pulled out and lowered you gently to the floor.

"I think I have an idea." Mysterion appeared beside his comrade and offered you a sly smirk. His hand pumped over his dick, watching you attempt to catch your breath. He seemed to be enjoying your fucked out appearance almost as much as fucking you. Chaos caught on quickly but kept his pace slower. You had your own idea, however, and pushed yourself up to take Mysterion's cock in your mouth and pushed your head down until the tip of his cock pressed against the soft spot in the back of your throat. You looked up at him with the sweetest eyes you'd ever given anyone and continued to keep your cheeks hollowed and bob your head in the quickest pace you could manage.

"Fuck, princess. So pretty and willing." He bit his lip and he bucked his hips in time with your pace until he began to falter. You could feel him twitching in your mouth and you pressed yourself further until your nose brushed his pelvis. You could hear him moaning and grunting in a strangled sort of way. You felt hot ropes drip down your throat and you swallowed quickly, multiple times as the squeezing of your throat seemed to draw out every single drop. When you pulled away, you licked your lips, surprised at just how much cum had been emptied into your mouth. He knelt down quickly to kiss you and lick the saliva from your lips. Fuck, that might've been the hottest thing that had ever happened to you.

Once Mysterion had released you, you turned your gaze upon Professor Chaos, who was definitely struggling to keep it together. That was definitely the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

"Your turn." You shuffled on your knees to kitten lick the tip of his cock. He groaned lowly and you happily took him in your mouth, flattening your tongue against the underside of his dick and similarly sliding him all the way to the back of your throat, taking a slower pace to recover from the abuse your throat had already endured. He gripped your hair and rolled his hips slowly, taking in the view with pleasure. You offered him the same sweet gaze and he seemed to blush. Just a bit. You picked up your pace and he matched it until you were at the fastest pace you could take and you felt him getting closer and closer. Again, you applied the same trick of pressing forward to take him to the hilt and his hips jerked, finally releasing sticky, hot ropes down your throat.

"Goddamn. Shit." He stuttered out, his voice softening to its normal tone as he held your head where it was until he finished. As soon as he pulled out, he pulled you up by your arms and roughly kissed you, tasting himself in your mouth. His tongue seemed to reach all the way down your sensitive throat and you moaned softly against him.

"That was the best thing a gal has ever done to me." He admitted as he pulled out of the kiss.

"I tried." You whispered, smiling softly. Mysterion was already there with towels and you let them clean you up. Those moments afterwards you really saw the softer parts of them as they made sure you were ok and got you water.

After you'd managed to all get dressed again, it didn't take long for a soft makeout session to start, you trying to split your attention equally between the two boys. Mysterion got an evil smile at one point and pulled Chaos in for a hot and heavy kiss. You were taken aback but definitely not complaining. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end and it seemed to end all too quickly.

"We ought to take you home, doll." Chaos ran his thumb over your swollen lips and motioned with his head to Mysterion, who scooped you up. Professor Chaos picked up your bag and they began to walk out, carrying you along with them.

"Aren't you supposed to blindfold me or something." You asked.

"Now, we can't be doing that every single time." Mysterion winked and you blushed, definitely not expecting that answer.

"So, we'll be doing this again?" You asked, almost in a whisper.

"If that's what ya want, darlin'." Chaos replied. You nodded and hid your face in Mysterion's shoulder until you finally arrived home.

You offered your phone to them, indicating they should put their numbers in. Once they'd finished, you shyly kissed each of them.

"I hope I don't have to wait too long." You smiled sweetly.

"Definitely not." Mysterion elbowed Chaos and chuckled.

"But who are you, Mysterion?" He laughed a bit and lifted his mask just enough for you to see and quickly slid it back on again.

"Kenny?" You were definitely shocked. You'd never really interacted with him before and you weren't complaining that he was the secret superhero.

"See you around, sweetheart. Give us a call if you're ever in any trouble." He winked and pulled you in for a last kiss before hopping out your window.

"Well, see ya, darlin'. You ever need anyone taken care of, you know who to ask." He kissed both of your cheeks before pressing a particularly sweet one to your lips and followed Mysterion.

Definitely not what you were expecting when you moved to the small town of South Park.

i hope it was what you wanted! i was struggling a bit cause ive never really posted any smut that ive written so i really hope it was good 😭.

<33

#mysterion #mysterion x reader #professor chaos #professor chaos x reader #butters stotch x reader #butters stotch #butters x reader #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny x reader #south park x reader #south park kenny #south park butters

[fantastic-nonsense]

While you are digging into batfam lore, could you perhaps help explain what the batkids' legal names all are? Fanfiction has messed me all up. Did any of them actually legally take Wayne as their last name? I see it most often with Tim (i.e. Timothy Drake-Wayne) and Cass (i.e. Cassandra Wayne) but I haven't read any comics that I recall that actually called them that.

Sure! A quick rundown of who's actually part of the Wayne family:

Wayne family: Dick, Jason, Tim, and Cass were all legally adopted at one point or another in the post-Crisis universe (post-reboot is....complicated. Dick, Jason, and Tim are all once again adopted after a long series of retcons; Cass's status is still unknown). Damian is Bruce's biological son.

NOT Wayne family: Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, Helena Bertinelli, any members of the Fox family (Luke, Tam, Tiffany, Jace, etc), Harper Row, etc.

Duke is a complicated case; he was Bruce's temporary foster son for a year before moving in with his cousin Jay, who now has custody of him. He's...sort of considered Wayne family, in that at least Jason and Tim consider him to be sort of their brother, but he wasn't adopted and no longer lives with Bruce.

Other: Kate and Bette Kane, who are Bruce's cousins and part of the Kane family.

As for legal last names and who actually calls themselves Waynes:

Damian's legal last name is Wayne. The al Ghuls tend to call him "Damian al Ghul" when he's with them, but legally his last name is Wayne; it's also the name Damian goes by UNLESS he's specifically attempting to leverage the al Ghul name amongst his family or the League of Assassins.

Dick continues to go by and think of himself as "Richard John Grayson" even after being adopted, though he explicitly calls himself Bruce's adopted son in several arcs after his adoption happens. You can take your pick of reasons why this might be (and there's quite a few to choose from, mostly connected to Dick's love for his bio parents and already being an established adult when Bruce adopted him), but Grayson was and remains his legal last name.

Jason canonically remained "Jason Peter Todd" after his adoption, per his death certificate:

Jason's death certificate, naming him as "Jason Peter Todd." -Batman Annual #25 (2006)

He was also "Jason Todd" to the general public; it's what people call him when they talk about him both before and after his death. The Red Hood and the Outlaws Rebirth comic (specifically RHATO #33) confirms that this is the case in the post-Flashpoint universe as well. However, there's a pretty reasonable canon foundation to assume that had Jason's adoption not happened in the 80s and had writers not wanted to complicate things, he probably would have chosen to hyphenate and become Jason Todd-Wayne, based largely on a) Jason's relationship with Willis Todd and b) Bruce and Jason's relationship before his death.

We simply don't know what Cass did. Cass was adopted off-panel in the vague period in between Batman RIP and Final Crisis, but Bruce's death threw everything up into the air; Cass was then promptly put on a bus and shipped out to Hong Kong for the duration of the Reborn era, and since she shows up in a grand total of 8 comics during that time we just don't get enough information to make a judgement call about her last name. Her two appearances in Tim's Red Robin book still call her Cassandra Cain, but it's unclear whether Fabian Nicieza, the writer, even knew her adoption had happened:

"Cassandra Cain, former Batgirl, remains one of the most dangerous fighters on the planet..." /// "Cassandra Cain, aka The Black Bat, Hong Kong operative for Batman, Inc." -Red Robin #17 & #25

Since Cass never had much of a public identity to speak of in the first place (and for a long time didn't even want one), it's super ambiguous what her legal status is and what last name she holds post-adoption. It's pretty reasonable to assume she becomes Cassandra Wayne, though, and it's also my personal preference. Though her relationship with David Cain is complicated, she doesn't hold much attachment to him as a father; likewise, there's really no reason for her not to take on the Wayne name given her attachment to Bruce.

Tim is the complicated one here, mostly because his adoption was such A Production™. Tim was formally adopted about a year in-universe after the events of Identity Crisis (when Tim’s dad was killed by Captain Boomerang). The adoption was pretty high-profile; Tim and Bruce even sat for an interview about it:

From 2007-2011, he's called Tim Drake and Tim Wayne (and occasionally Tim Drake-Wayne) pretty interchangably depending on the writer and situation. His legal name is probably Tim Drake-Wayne, though it's actually ambiguous. He tends to go by Tim Wayne in public while usually referring to himself as Tim Drake in private:

"And by the way, it's Wayne when I want a favor or a table at Bartese, and it's Drake when I look in the mirror." -Red Robin #15

"A question for Mr. Wayne--" /// "Reporting live from the reopening of the Newton Community Gym where Tim Wayne is about to address the crowd." -Red Robin #14 and 15

Post-Flashpoint, that adoption was erased and Bruce and Tim’s relationship was very strained; in the Rebirth era, his adoption was implied to be canon again in both Tynion’s Detective Comics run and King's Batman run, but we didn’t get confirmation until Infinite Frontier and Urban Legends, where Tim is once again explicitly adopted and occasionally called Tim Wayne, though he still mostly goes by and is referred to as Tim Drake:

"But just to be clear--we're not splitting the bill, Tim Wayne." -Urban Legends #4

"...and then Mr. Wayne just adopted you? Awful generous of him." -Urban Legends #4

Tim is also the only one regularly referred to in public as "Bruce's adopted son." Most of the time they're referred to as "Bruce Wayne's wards," so whether the adoptions are public knowledge or not is questionable, but their status as his wards and foster kids is not. Though they largely never lived in the Manor at the same time, they've all attended various public functions as Bruce's kids and acted on Bruce's behalf in various capacities while in the public eye.

tl;dr Tim is canonically the only one who takes the last name "Wayne" upon being adopted; he generally continues to refer to himself as Tim Drake, but canon calls him "Tim Drake," "Tim Drake-Wayne," and "Tim Wayne" pretty interchangably afterwards. Dick doesn't change his name and canonically Jason didn't either, though you could make a case that he might have hyphenated had his adoption been written in the modern era. We don't see Cass enough after her adoption to know either way; however, her existing canon relationships with Bruce and her biological family heavily support and/or imply that she probably became Cassandra Wayne.

#dc comics #batman meta #batfam meta #asks #long post #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #damian wayne #tim drake meta #cassandra cain meta #dick grayson meta #jason todd meta #bruce wayne #fanon vs canon

[rius-cave]

There's this Sir Peatious angst theory that after you get redeemed or reborn you don't remember what your life was like before you got reborn, in Sir Peatious's case he wouldn't remember his egg boys or the hotel or cherry bomb (you can see how that would make for some killer angst), but what if this happens with sinner Adam? He would probably still hate Lucifer for everything that happened in the garden and still think of himself as the “Dickmaster” but he wouldn't remember Lute, or the extermination, and even what happened to Vaggie, do you think he would view the sinners or even hell itself differently now? Would he hate Lucifer even more? How would he view Charlie's goal of recommendation for sinners in a more positive light? I would love to know your thoughts :)

P.S. Sorry for the long ask btw you don't have to answer all or any of my questions but I would really appreciate your input

I've seen art of this! Ooohhoho it hurts soooo good, this fandom loves angst so much

And don't worry about long asks, I've gotten some novels here lmao

I gotta say, this is definitely a great adamsapple scenario! Okay so, my personal headcanon is that Adam died being an *actual* good person. If Sir Pentious getting redeemed is anything to go by, I think whoever is doing "divine judgement" is actually judging fairly.

So when Adam died, he was actually a pretty decent guy all things considered. What really made him as rotten as he is today was seeing humanity fall deeper and deeper with every year and, of course, being coddled and spoiled in heaven, with everyone constantly telling him how special and amazing he was. In Heaven, there were no longer consequences, so every time he fucked up (which he did a lot of as a human) there were no repercussions, he just got praise after praise! Eventually, this enabled worse and worse behaviors because none of it was getting corrected.

That means that if Adam loses all his memories from Heaven, he'd actually be a decent human being again. However, his resentment towards Lucifer is much older than that lol, and in fact, having only suffered in Earth, and without 10000 years to mellow out his anger, that means that his resentment would be FRESHER and more bitter.

Finding out he's in hell and, above everything, all the DEBAUCHERY and CHAOS that hell has, it would give him a mix of anger, disappointment and depression. He has no genocidal tendencies yet, so I'd imagine he'd feel all of his hope leave him. He'd think, "what was all my effort for, then?" All his effort raising his children, teaching them what's good and wrong, only to realize that it was all for nothing.

The difference between coming to terms with this reality across 10000 years versus being hit with it ALL AT ONCE is abysmal. It sends him spiraling down even worse than his own fall, or the time skip. It destroys his soul.

He'd hate Lucifer more, but above all, he'd hate himself with a fiery passion.

#hazbin hotel #adam #ask

[shinidamachu]

Hello ma’am at Wendy’s; could you analyze some inukag scenes in the first movie? 😍

I could talk about how Inuyasha was strugling in the first battle — to the point of Shippo stating he's hopeless when Kagome isn't around — and how he headed back to it with renewed energy once she got there.

I could talk about how he bickers with her the entire time, but it's always so gentle while constantly carrying her away from danger — bridal style, no less — and asking her in that soft voice we don't ever hear him use with anyone else if she is alright even though he was the one just getting his ass beaten.

I could also talk about how he follows after Kagome when she runs off, supposedly to "give her a piece of his mind" yet doesn't deny it when Shippo counter arguments that she got him wrapped around her finger. I could. But that's just our everyday Inukag, so here are the scenes I feel like are worthy discussing on a deeper level.

When Inuyasha found Kagome after she accidentally cut herself, he got closer, wanting to take a better look at her wound, but for a second there Kagome forgot about her injury and really thought he was going to kiss her. You can see her surprise at his sudden proximity and then the disappointment when he goes for her hand instead.

Then he took her finger to his mouth, to the place where his fangs are, without overthinking it or fearing any judgement, simply trusting that Kagome wouldn't be scared or disgusted by the gesture, by him. And she never does. What really makes this scene, though, is that Inuyasha is completely oblivious to the effect his actions are having on her so far or just how intimate they actually are.

Kagome's safety is his number one priority and Inuyasha feels comfortable enough with her to follow his instincts without reservations, so he doesn't quite realize the romantic implications because it's natural to him, to them, to be this close.

Then Inuyasha uses Kagome's favorite handkerchief to patch her up. Considering she sounds more upset about him ripping it to do so than surprised that he has it in the first place and that he doesn't seem embarrased to have it at all, my guess is that she must have gifted it to him at some point.

And even though he claims it's just a piece of cloth, the fact remains that he carried it with himself for who knows how long — probably because it smells like her — and kept it intact despite the many battles, that is until she needed it as a bandage and we get visual confirmation that Shippo was right: Kagome literally got him wrapped around her finger.

Flash forward to the bridge scene, where Inuyasha thinks he's seeing Kikyo at first, then notices is actually Kagome in priestess clothes and runs to her. If you ask me, it's pretty telling that he'd only mistake the two of them when Kagome isn't acting like herself.

I love his reaction to realizing Kagome is there, safe and sound. He's just so genuinelly happy and relieved to see her. Those aren't emotions we're used to get from him. Plus, he worries about her being pale and insists that she gets back to Kaede's so she can get more rest.

Then when Kagome hugs him, he apologizes — which we also don't see him do often — for not getting to her sooner, thinking that's what earned him that hug. And he returns her embrace in true Inuyasha fashion: tight and cradling her head.

That's when Kagome pulled this little trick and I think two things are worthy noticing. One, she managed to break free from the mind control long enough to tell Inuyasha to get away. That's quite impressive. Two, when confronted with the idea of Kagome betraying him, Inuyasha came to the only possible conclusion that she was under a spell, never once doubting her.

He makes one attempt to reason with her, pleading for Kagome to snap out of it, but when that fails, he doesn't even try to immobilize her or adopt a defensive stance, he just runs, flat out refusing to lay a hand on her, the opposite of his fighting style.

And even though Inuyasha knows Kagome is being controled, I still appreciate his reaction to hearing the one person who makes him want to live telling him to die. Not to mention how it brought back some very unpleasent memories. Speaking of which...

What's interesting about this scene is that, again, Inuyasha knows this is Kagome attacking him — although against her will — but the very idea of her hurting him is so inconceivable that Inuyasha tries to make sense of it with the situations he has experienced before.

Then Kagome explained she has no control over her body and just can't stop, begging him to run again before it's too late. Inuyasha, however, wouldn't hear it.

"I'm not running. Not without you. I won't leave you behind."

And honestly, who would have blamed him if he had run? Certainly not Kagome. She understands better than anyone just how difficult reliving those old traumas must be for him. Yet he would rather stay and die by her hands than leave without her.

That's why she fought so hard against the spell here, in a way she couldn't quite fight when it wasn't Inuyasha's life on the line. Until the very end, she refuses to be the one to cause Inuyasha the same harm he has suffered before. But she ultimately fails.

It's only after Kagome realizes what she's done that she manages to break the spell. It's very meaningful that she screams his name the exact moment it happens and that her eyes were full of tears even before she shot that arrow.

She runs to Inuyasha and wraps him into one of my favorite Inukag hugs ever. The position they're in is so intimate, it's like she wants to melt into him and protect him from the entire world while begging him to say something and open his eyes, chanting how sorry she is.

It also parallels the scene in the beginning. Same spot, similar situations. Except where once was Kagome injured, now is Inuyasha and where once was him patching her up, now it's her who is taking care of him.

Kagome doesn't let go of Inuyasha for a good while and when Kikyo tells her to return to her own time, since she doesn't belong there, Kagome answers that she won't, that she can't leave Inuyasha — echoing his words from earlier.

Even after Kikyo explains that once the well it's covered over, Kagome won't be able to return to her own world anymore, she is still reticent about leaving Inuyasha and Kikyo has to literally force her out.

"Inuyasha! My hands can't touch him anymore. My voice can't reach him anymore. I won't see Inuyasha ever again."

I absolutely love how classic Inukag this quote is. You have Kagome saying his name twice, a mention of touching, which is a huge part of their love language, a nod to her voice reaching out to him, which is a recurrent theme for them and "I won't see Inuyasha ever again" as opposite to our many "I want to see Inuyasha once more."

Another thing I love is how this scene mirrors the one when Kagome first meets Inuyasha: unconscious against the Sacred Tree, her hand reaching out to him. Except then she ended up saving him later and now she was the reason he was there.

Then we finally get to the reunion scene, the heart of "Affections Touching Across Time" which by the way is such a great name for the movie! Not only is it poetic, but it also paints Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship as the transcendental love story that it is. As if no matter the circumstances, it's inevitable for the love the feel for each other to find its way back to them.

Inuyasha wakes up and Kagome is his very first thought. For her part, Kagome is also able to feel Inuyasha through the tree.

"I can feel him. I can feel Inuyasha."

They start to talk even though they're years and years apart, Kagome asking if he is okay and Inuyasha brushing her worries off as usual. He then says he's surprised she isn't there and when Kagome says she came back home, he teases her about being scared.

Kagome denies it and I believe it's because she was initially thinking about the dangerous situation they were in, but then images of Kikyo telling her to go home and kissing Inuyasha flashes through her mind and she admits that e was right, that maybe she did run away.

She did get scared, but not of the danger they were facing. She was scared to find out Inuyasha was truly in love with Kikyo and that, since Kagome hurt him, he would be better off without her around.

Once Kagome explains that to him — minus the Kikyo part — Inuyasha gets up despite his wounds and tries to make his way to her, but Kagome meets him half way.

@kitramune pointed out that Inuyasha smiles at her reaction because not only he knew she would do so, but he also expected her to in order to pull her into a hug.

"I need you with me, Kagome. Haven't you realized that yet?"

Their hug is also a perfect replica of the original one, their very first one. From Inuyasha having a wound on his chest to catching Kagome completely off guard, first pulling her towards him then embracing her tight.

The scene is a masterpiece overall. The music, the dialogue, the voice acting — both in japanese and english —, the emotional conflict. It keeps me wishing it had happened in canon every time I watch it.

And I can't in good conscience leave the ultimate trusting exercise out of this. That Kagome trusts Inuyasha enough to jump into his arms from great heights it's pretty amazing in and out of itself, but the reason her confidence in him is so high is because he delivers it every time. It's all very reciprocal.

And even though Inuyasha complains about her being reckless, I love that he doesn't even bother to sheathe Tessaiga — his most valuable possession — too focus on catching Kagome in the gentlest way possible.

Last but not least: the extra scene. In the beginning of the movie, we hear Grandpa Higurashi say that the Sacred Tree would blossom every single year without fail, until five hundred years ago, when Inuyasha was put under a spell and fixed to its truck, to which Kagome replies that now its flowers are blooming again because she set Inuyasha free.

The blossoms represent just that: a counterpoint to the snow that once fell over them. They're both pretty but where the snow is cold, the petals are warm. Where one is winter, the other is spring. Where one is the end of a cycle, the other is rebirth, it's life.

I hope putting Inuyasha on the shadows and Kagome on the sunny side of the tree was a conscious creative choice here because it accentuates their personalities and the yin and yang dynamic of their relationship, on top of being aesthetically pleasing.

I especially enjoyed how reassuring and straight forward he was here, like it was a given that he would be there for and with her even if it couldn't be physically, like he couldn't fathom any other way.

And of course, there's the way Inuyasha is so aware of her and constantly worried about her well being, noticing how exhausted she was and being concerned she might collapse while having a severe injury on his own chest.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Sango telling Kagome to be careful and Kagome replying that she'll be fine because she'll be with Inuyasha. The villain saying "I've never seen anything more pathetic than a half demon cuddle by a mortal girl" and Kagome going "why? What's wrong with us being together?" Kagome still feeling awful about hurting Inuyasha and thanking him when he insisted that "it's barely a scratch."

#I've watched the Inuyasha movies once each #And I never really planned on revisiting them because to be honest I don't particularly consider them canon #Plus the animation was atrocious at times #So I figured I'd just rewatch the most memorable scenes whenever I feel nostalgic #But I watched the whole thing for you Kat #And I actually had a great time doing it #Inuyasha #Sidmailing #Affections Touching Across Time #Kagome #Kagome Higurashi #Inukag #Inumeta #Inukag meta #Inuyasha meta #Kagome meta

[thethingswedotomorrow]

After 200 years of being a 'shopowner' in SoHo, Whickber Street has gotten relatively used to Aziraphale's (and subsequently Crowley's) presence. But after 200 years, people have definitely noticed that A.Z Fell and Co. is in no way a typical bookshop.

The shop's opening hours alone are enough to give away that something isn't quite right.

The hours of operation sign reads like a puzzle you'd expect at the entrance of a haunted tomb

(Which was EXACTLY what Crowley was going for. Aziraphale approached him in 1835 about making a sign to avoid customers, and he still prides himself to this day about it)

"No customers today, Angel? I wonder what wicked creature could've caused that. Must be a pretty brilliant demon, that one."

Crowley tries to use that sign as leverage in arguments at least twice a decade and it's never once worked, but he figures one of these years the Angel will finally gives in to his 'wiles', and Crowley is nothing if not persistent

Aziraphale has a reputation among the rare book enthusiast community as the rudest gentleman they've ever encountered, but he always sends baked goods afterwards when he feels guilty about it

Once, a particularly rude collector found that the package they received seemed to be expired by a very, very long time. And all the cookies broken and crumbled.

It was the cruelest thing Aziraphale could think of, ruined treats. Crowley was very proud of him for that.

"Absolutely diabolical, Angel. Ever consider a career change? You'd be a Hell of a Demon with skills like that."

If a customer miraculously finds the shop open, they immediately realize that they probably shouldn't have walked in

Aziraphale is always perfectly polite to customers, of course. But 'polite' and 'welcoming' are very different words, and Aziraphale is a Principality, not a saint. He's never had much patience as far as customers were concerned.

Anyone who finds themselves wandering towards the first edition shelf towards the back suddenly seem to remember that they've missed a very important appointment.

A mysterious phone call from a long-lost family member goes a long ways towards turning people around and back onto the street, as well.

Once or twice, a few persistent potential-customers have found their phone buzzing, announcing they've suddenly won a rather large amount of money from a contest they don't remember entering.

On the rare days Aziraphale has to go out of town for an auction or errands, Crowley will occasionally volunteer himself to watch over the shop.

When Crowley is alone in the shop with customers, all bets are off.

From the street, you'd think somebody was throwing a rave in the shop.

Lights flickering off and on in no particular order, and occasionally turn colors. Apparently, it's very difficult to browse books with flashing blue and orange lights all around you, and when you complain to the man sprawled on the seat behind the counter about it, all you get is a smirk and a "Sorry 'bout that, keep meaning to fix them up. Whatta shame, huh?"

Suddenly the lights seem to fix themselves, just in time for the soft classical music coming from the back of the shop to turn into a techno rave edit of 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. All at a volume that would be painful at a outdoor concert, let alone a small shop.

Sometimes, Crowley doesn't even sit behind the counter. Customers might just walk in to find a very large, very judgemental looking snake laying across the desk, hissing at anything that moves.

He had to stop pulling that particular trick after a concerned group of mothers called animal control on him, and he almost got kidnapped by idiot humans who decided to try and pick up a 15 foot snake with little grabby claws.

Crowley had far too much pride to tell Aziraphale about that day, and sulked on the couch in the back for the rest of the week.

(Aziraphale found out, of course. Nina watched the whole thing from across the street, and laughed so much she dropped a pot of coffee all over her counter. The Angel had the good graces to never bring it up, but quietly laughs everytime Crowley glares at an animal control van that passes by the street.)

The only time Aziraphale welcomes humans into his shop is when they come in, not for books, but for refuge.

The people of SoHo always know that A.Z Fell and Co. is open to everyone that needs a safe place, for any reason.

They'll find a kind looking man ushering them inside, offering them a seat and a cup of tea, listening to their problems and offering advice, helping when he can. He has the air of someone much, much older than he looks, and much wiser than you'd think.

Those humans, the ones who come in seeking help, always leave feeling miraculously better. And sometimes find themselves blessed, just a bit.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable partners #ineffable boyfriends #otp: ineffable #ineffable #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands #good omens headcanon #good omens fic #crowley good omens #good omens aziraphale #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale good omens #crowley aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow #a z fell #a.z fell #aziraphale's bookshop #good omens fluff #crowly #crowley and aziraphale #good omens crowley #good omens headcanons #good omens hc #aziraphel #azicrow #crowly x aziraphale

[simplyender]

You previously mentioned that Johnathon probably had a less than ideal childhood. If you are still in the mood for headcanons, would you mind sharing your thoughts on his upbringing/childhood/adolscence? The good, the bad, whatever comes to your mind. Thank you! (I wonder if he was still roommates with Quentin Beck in the movieverse)

Thank you so much for asking!!!! Sorry about taking so long to respond, work has been exhausting for me, and I really want to give my best answer, hence why I stew over asks quite a bit, lol

ANYWAY,

• Apparently, The Spot from the comics is originally from Spokane. Yeah, I'll incorporate that one in to my personal beliefs.

• He reads to me as having come from an upper-middle-ish class family.

• Only child, but his parents were frequently busy with their jobs, and when they were around, they didn't exactly have or bother to make the time for him.

• Pretty judgemental parents in general.

• Despite that, he still spent a fair amount of time trying to prove himself worthy of their attention, a difficult task with...Mixed results, mostly leaning towards failure.

• One of my friends was once like "There was definitely a time where he wanted to show them something he made and got snapped at for bothering them.", and yeah I totally agree with that.

• Over time he became more reclusive, spent more time in his room than anywhere else. He preferred reading, learning to code, and working on his own little projects over socializing, something he wasn't all too skilled at. It wasn't like there was much to socialize with at home, anyways, considering he would either be ignored or treated like a nuisance a solid 90% of the time.

• This was a double edged sword, though, since he'd also been yelled at for "being in his room all the time" a few times.

• Was used as a scapegoat quite often.

• After a certain point he moved on to trying to get his validation through other means. High grades, impressive science projects, plans to become a scientist and making the biggest damn breakthrough ever seen, do something that will change the world forever. Because then nobody could ignore him or treat him like he's less if he managed that.

• But obviously they're not the worst in his mind because they helped pay for college, so,,,,,,

edit: actually thought about this some more and he probably got a scholarship. oops lol idk high academics.

• Saw the 1933 Invisible man at a young age and absolutely loved it, he spent a short period of time trying to figure out how to make himself invisible, and kind of wished that dr. Jack Griffin was his real dad and that also maybe he'd kill his parents, healthy and not worrying thoughts from a probably 8 year old. It's been around 25+ years since then, but he'd still get seriously embarrassed if somebody brought up his old attempts.

• Had a massive growth spurt in his early teenage years, which automatically put a target on his back for even more bullying.

• Started experimenting with his fashion and putting some more work in to his appearance close to the end of high school. Still sucked at keeping up with haircuts and remembering to shave, though.

• Was probably at his peak in college, honestly. Nicest place he's been in. Least bullying he's experienced. He even made a friend or two!

• IMO he was totally roommates with Quentin in this universe too, they were on different tracks, but all in all, they got along pretty well! John was happy to help him with with whatever he was working on, although, John mostly kept his personal stuff to himself (still appreciated the extra hand with carrying things...), or at least tried to. Whether he was listened to or not is another matter entirely. When they collaborated, they were a real dream team. Unfortunately, they kinda fell out of contact after college, so it was a pretty big surprise to John when Mysterio got caught and it was released that his old college roommate had become a supervillain.

....Which only further entrench him in the "I'm meant to be Spider-Man's nemesis" mindset, by the way.

#the spot #atsv #johnathon ohnn #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #headcanons #character analysis #i guess? #whenever i thought abt the growth spurt hc id hear those lyrics from 'danny dont you know' #'you had a growth spurt and you're suddenly 6'2“.... #the girls are steering clear #you walk like a newborn deer....' #thats him #anyway im still open to asks just expect me to take along time coming up w an answer #oh right bruef mention of #quentin beck #yippee

[gffa]

Aww, you're too nice to me, thank you!!  I’ve mostly seen commentary in the same vein and I understand why, so many of us are sitting here like :| and braced for the worst interpretations, because Ahsoka’s character is often polarized and Jedi discussion is often polarized.  Pitting them against each other, probably leaves a lot of people not wanting to touch it with a ten foot pole. For me, I think I have to establish my view of Ahsoka’s character in the first place and where she’s at at this point in time:  She left the Jedi Order because she couldn’t trust herself or the Council, she needed time away to consider what she wanted and she wasn’t ready to really deal with all of that. Out of all of the Jedi, I think Ahsoka has the strongest reason to be angry and hurt about the war and the relationship the Jedi have with the Republic, because she was such a victim of the whole thing.  She was the one who Tarkin set his sights on, she was the one who was framed and put on trial, she was the one who had the bonds between herself and her family ripped apart because the weight of the entire government came down on them. Everyone made mistakes in that arc, everyone did what they thought was best.  No one was perfect in that arc--Ahsoka didn’t trust anyone and that mistrust isn’t what saved her, it was Anakin’s actions that saved her.  Ahsoka immediately didn’t trust anyone to help her, didn’t even try to contact them, was hurt that Anakin didn’t come to see her, even when he pointed out that would have made it worse for her.  And he’s right, but that doesn’t negate that she was left all alone.  The Jedi tried desperately to keep everything with Ahsoka in house, but their hands were forced, the other road would have been worse, but that doesn’t negate that she was left all alone. Obi-Wan says in the Crystal Crisis arc that they all made mistakes, that Ahsoka let her emotions cloud her judgement in her most critical moment, and I think that’s both spot on (that’s why she left, because she realized she couldn’t trust herself, that’s why she was so hesitant to help with Maul because she still wasn’t there yet) and informs much of what Obi-Wan sees with her.

Ahsoka isn’t being fair in her treatment of Obi-Wan. She’s angry about what happened with Barriss, she’s angry about what happened with the Jedi, she’s angry about them being drawn into this war that hurt her so terribly on such a personal level, she’s angry that she feels obligated to work with the Jedi again when she’s not ready.

When you look at Ahsoka’s arguments, they tend to fall apart pretty quickly--she’s angry that the Jedi want to help the people on Coruscant?  The heart of the Republic?  Where trillions of people live?  Where Trace and Rafa live?  The two characters she just met who informed so much of what she wants to be as a Jedi?  Or how she entirely ignores that the Republic’s treaties with Mandalore mean that this is an invasion and politics have genuine consequences in Star Wars, you can’t just invade other countries!  And she’s being unfair about how she’s making it clear that she’s not a Jedi, she’s a citizen, but then turns around and wants to be privy to classified information that only Jedi agents should have. This isn’t to come down on Ahsoka, because these things make me like her more, these things make my heart ache for her, because I see her as a young woman who was thrown back into a situation she wasn’t ready for and she’s doing her absolute damnedest to be professional about it. But this is her family, these are the people she loves underneath it all, this is Anakin who so badly wants her to come back and is kind of stepping all over her boundaries--he even reworks her lightsabers to change the crystal’s color!  It’s such a sweet gesture!  But it’s also So Very Much before she’s ready for it.  It’s so clear that he thinks she’s coming back and everything will be like it was before and she’s just not sure, so she has to be the one to set down boundaries with him and that’s another thing that tears at her heart.

That’s why I think she’s so gentle when Mace lobs the “Citizen.” remark back at her, because I don’t think she was angry about that, she doesn’t respond angrily at all, but almost relieved.  It’s a tense moment, but he’s holding her boundary for her, it’s a reminder that she’s not ready to be back yet and I think part of her might have been grateful for it, because she’s so mixed up about what she wants and who she is at this point. Then you have the scene with Obi-Wan and I think she probably was angry with him, both because he was on the Council and she’s still mad at them, but also because this is Obi-Wan and she knows him, she loves him, he’s tearing at her heart and making her want to come back and that’s more confusing feelings.  And he probably seems so calm and collected, all the more so when this is dealing with something that has deeply personal meaning for him because of Satine, while she feels jumbled up and unsteady.  Her emotions are still threatening to cloud her judgment, and then he’s there saying he’ll refuse to do so, and it’s hard not to feel a riot of emotions about that. But also she knows he cares, she trusts him with her message to Anakin, she doesn’t even have to spell it out, because she knows that Obi-Wan knows.  And I think some part of her treats Obi-Wan the way Anakin does--she’s being unfair with him because she knows he’s a rock that will weather her storm.  Even when they’re clashing, she trusts him to understand her and her feelings and where she’s coming from.  She trusts him to be there even when they fight.

With Obi-Wan, he’s also having a really rough time of it because he’s got a real shitshow on his hands--he has everything with Satine’s memory here, he has a political shitstorm with the invasion of Mandalore they’re doing, he has Anakin’s unstable moods and Anakin emotionally zipping off to be like, “I knew!  I knew there was a reason why everything happened, it was meant to!” and undercurrent of mania, and he has his own guilt about what happened with Ahsoka, while also recognizing that the other roads probably would have been worse and that she’s allowed her upset feelings. I do think Obi-Wan is probably frustrated and disappointed with Ahsoka, because she’s coming from an emotional place in the sense of letting it cloud her view of the reality of the situation, and they can’t afford that right now.  And I think he’s frustrated that she’s not being fair about this, because what’s he supposed to do in response to her?  They’re in the middle of a war and this is why Jedi train their whole lives, because people’s lives are on the line, they have to be clear and focused or people will die.  They have to make hard choices because they’ve been put in a position of responsibility and wishing circumstances were less shitty doesn’t actually make the war any less shitty.  They still have to protect the trillion innocent people who live on Coruscant, they can’t just abandon them because it wouldn’t be the most popular decision. At the same time, he understands where she’s coming from, that she’s hurt about everything and she’s not ready for this and yet she still came to help anyway.  And I think he’s probably frustrated that she’s implying that he’s the one being obstinate and not helping, when the situation is nowhere near as clear-cut as Bo-Katan tries to say it is, he’s perfectly willing to compromise when offered an acceptable path to helping both Mandalore and Coruscant, after all. But also he loves her and he knows that she’s a caring, good person, he doesn’t even have to ask what her message to Anakin is, he knows.  He’s even willing to tell her about his concerns about Anakin and his mission to spy on Palpatine, he asks her to speak with Anakin, asks for her help, because he knows how important she is.

I don’t think Obi-Wan was as open or reaching out as much as he theoretically could be, but like Ahsoka, he’s going through A Lot right now and has a ton on his plate and none of them are really ready to deal with that while everything is still in flames around them.  But it’s also why they end on soft notes with each other, because they know that they’re both important to Anakin, that Anakin is important to both of them, that the Jedi are important to both of them, that they’re important to each other. And boy does it hurt that neither of them can see what’s coming with Anakin, that they’re both unable to see that he’s on the verge of falling.

But that’s how people who love each other are. That’s how family is with each other--they get frustrated and upset and needle each other and disappointed in each other because they love each other. And I think you see that all throughout Obi-Wan and Ahsoka’s scenes, they’re both characters who have made mistakes and aren’t at their calmest here, they’re tense with each other, but it’s coming from a place of deep caring about everyone in that room.

I think they both acted the way they did because they thought they would have time to sort it out, they trusted that their family would be there when they had that time. Ahsoka puts off catching up with Anakin because she’s not ready yet and there’ll be time later. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan needle each other because they’re frustrated and there’ll be time to come back together later. Ahsoka says softly, “Not yet.” when Yoda asks if she’s going to be a Jedi again, she looks so hopeful when talking to Rex about the end of the war and she can come back to the Jedi in a way she trusts, she really thought there would be more time. Obi-Wan says they’re close to the end of the war, he’s off to defeat Grievous finally, this was supposed to be the end, there would be time for the slow, long repair of their relationships. They act the way they do because they weren’t ready to let everything go just yet, not because they didn’t care.  They thought there would be more time.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #meta #long post