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#Also now that I'm reading what we said in the tags of that previous post- I hope it isn't read too much as a threat
funnierasafictive · 9 months
Note
about your most recent post, what do you mean by white people having to watch out and think about what they’re doing when it comes to introjecting?
Regarding this post
Specifically like, if white bodied people (reminder that white-passing people are still POC though!) want to change their name to a name that's for example traditionally Japanese, etc. (I'm not just pointing out that this "only applies to Asian names", this is just a common example!).
Obviously we (our system) can't stop anyone from doing what they want with their legal powers, but it's something we hope white systems really think about before they change their name so easily to something like that
Because of white privilege, white people most likely won't know what POC or SOC (systems of color) go through. People with less-white sounding names get racially profiled and/or deal with their names constantly being mispronounced to the point of changing their name legally to sound more white, or adopting an "English name". I don't think I have to explain the leaked Flight Ban/Watchlist and why the people on that list were there, for example
I hope that explains it! If white people want to change their name to something "different", I literally can't do anything abt that! In short, we brought that up because of racism, xenophobia, and bullying that's been done to people with less-white-sounding names.
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agender-witchery · 9 months
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On Project Moon
Hey, this is gonna be long, I'm putting most of it under the cut. This post is about the recent firing of VellMori from Project Moon, I know that it warrants some tags for triggers, but I have no idea what's commonly used, so if I miss something, please tell me.
Additionally, I have written this up in a way that if it escapes the target audience of Project Moon fans, it can still be understood, so with that in mind, there will be Library of Ruina spoilers.
The tl;dr for those who don't wanna read the full thing is that Project Moon was put in a very bad position with some violent extremists targeting them and that I'm not happy about any of what happened.
So, for those unaware, Project Moon has fired VellMori, the CG artist for Limbus Company. Now, a not inaccurate statement that can be made from this is "Project Moon fired a woman for being a feminist" but this is... somewhat reductive. Let's immediately get out of the way that VellMori did absolutely nothing wrong. Some people have said she is a TERF. I've seen no evidence of this. Some people have said she wished death on all men. I've seen no evidence of this.
What I HAVE seen is that VellMori thinks sexual abuse is bad. Now, why would this lead to a firing? The short answer is that a bunch of violent incels, one of which was literally dressed as a clown, came knocking at their office doors.
See, Limbus Company has a "beach" event coming up. In this event, we are getting a water themed outfit for two of the characters, one male and one female. For Sinclair, the guy, he has been given an EXTREMELY slutty mechanic's outfit. For Ishmael, the woman, she has been given a very skintight wet suit outfit. Now, I wanna take care to note that VellMori is the CG artist - she had no hand in these designs, a man made them. I would also like to mention that both outfit designs are amazing, and I will be including them at the end of this post for reference.
Now, upon revealing the wet suit design for Ishmael, a bunch of whiny incels on what is basically Korean 4chan got upset that Ishmael, instead of being in a bikini as is usual for gacha games, was wearing a wet suit. Nevermind that the designs in Limbus Company have always been conservative and that the Sinclair design is the most skin we've ever seen and it's just an open shirt. Again, the wet suit is still super revealing, it's skin tight and this is literally the first design of her that doesn't make her look flat chested. They're not rioting over the lack of sex appeal, they're specifically mad that it's not a bikini.
The incels come to the conclusion that the lack of any skin being shown on Ishmael's outfit is a result of evil feminism. No, I'm not exaggerating. They initially begin harassing the artist who is actually responsible for drawing the outfits, but upon learning that he is a man, set their sights on VellMori because she's a woman, and being an artist is good enough I guess. What they do from here is they start digging and digging and digging on VellMori's twitter, making use of archived pages because many of the "offensive" tweets had been deleted.
I'd like to take a moment to point out that VellMori never actually tweeted anything out here - it was all retweets from a 4-6 year old archive, and retweets that have been long deleted. These retweets contain such transgressive statements as "I'm sick of misogyny" and "If being against patriarchy makes me antisocial, then so be it" and just... mirroring back to men what those men were saying to women. Some people would like to have you think she was calling for death to all men. She wasn't. She ALSO retweeted all this stuff while she was a teenager and well before she worked for Project Moon.
Nonetheless, the incels had decided that feminism was the reason Ishmael had a wet suit and not a bikini and they had found a feminist working for Project Moon. It is at this point that we must take a brief detour and talk about Library of Ruina, Project Moon's previous game.
See, in Library of Ruina, one of the protagonists, Angela, has this whole arc about escaping her abuser and becoming a human. Yes, she is literally a robot, but Project Moon isn't exactly a stranger to symbolism in their stories and a feminist reading of Angela is ridiculously easy. The main antagonist in Library of Ruina is Argalia, the Blue Reverberation, and his crew is called the Reverberation Ensemble. Every member of the Reverberation Ensemble is a violent lunatic who each want to reinforce the status quo in their own unique shitty way. In addition to this, typically in order to reach the titular Library, you would need to be invited. The Reverb Ensemble are the "uninvited guests", the ones who managed to reach the Library and knock down the door without an invite.
Why am I talking about this? Well, the incels decided to start calling themselves the Reverb Ensemble, and referring to each other using names of the Reverb Ensemble members such as Pluto, Elena, and Oswald. Having taken on the moniker of the uninvited guests, they then showed up to Project Moon's office to protest. Over the lack of a bikini. Now, remember how I mentioned someone was dressed up as a clown? One of the Reverb Ensemble members, Oswald, is a clown with an extremely tenuous grip on reality. So much so, that his ideal world is one in which there is no meaning whatsoever. That is the character they chose to dress up as. This is either a case of extreme self awareness or extreme self unawareness.
Eventually, the incels were let into the office possibly as a form of damage mitigation to prevent the crowd of protestors from getting any bigger. This was a questionable decision, but they had a group of violent incels at their doorstep either way, and I don't exactly have full details on this. Regardless, Project Moon had on their hands a group of violent protesting incels, who they felt compelled to let into the building, and who had demands including the firing of their feminist employee. (7/28 update: a translation of the transcript posted to DCInside has surfaced. Please check the reblogs for it. Project Moon was verifiably threatened.)
So while "Project Moon fired a woman for being a feminist" isn't inaccurate it also isn't the full picture. More appropriately, it'd be "Project Moon fired a woman because a group of violent incels who weren't satisfied with a form fitting wet suit instead of a bikini showed up to their office demanding that an artist who did not make the wet suit design be fired because she retweeted some feminist stuff 5 years ago while she was a teenager".
I'm not happy with this. None of this is good. People are allowed to be feminists, and Project Moon stories have always presented progressive ideas to anyone with half a brain to do some basic literary analysis. I can understand why they would cave to the demands of people who were threatening them and showed up to their actual place of work, but at the same time, that's someone's livelihood gone and proof that in the future, the same sorts of people can use the same sorts of tactics to bully Project Moon into doing whatever they want. All of this sucks.
For those who would like to see the retweets in question alongside translations: https://twitter.com/danghwangs/status/1683884236888223744
And for people who would like reference as to what the artworks these incels were up in arms about, Ishmael in the wet suit and Sinclair in the mechanic's outfit.
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genshinluvr · 2 years
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Crave 4
Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader, Kamisato Ayato x Isekai'd!Reader, Thoma x Isekai'd!Reader, Kamisato Ayato x Isekai'd!Reader x Thoma
Summary: Ayato and Thoma have decided to take you to the Kamisato Estate to show you what they do in their day-to-day lives! At first, the other men did not agree to let you stay at the Kamisato Estate for two or three days just to see what the two men do on a daily basis but soon gave in. Instead of learning what Ayato and Thoma do, you find yourself being stuffed with their cocks instead.
Note: The longer this little mini Crave series goes, the more I'm going to be changing up the chapter index for each chapter instead of having to put "Read part [insert number here] - [here]!" It'll change the more I continue to add more parts. Speaking of adding more things; I am officially at my limit when it comes to tagging the story itself 💀 so the more characters are released in Genshin and are added to the harem, the more I won't be able to tag them since there's a tagging limit on Tumblr and AO3 🥲 As previously stated in the previous parts of Crave, I tried to keep the smut as gender-neutral as possible. Still, this smut (and every other smut I have written on this blog so far) will lean more towards AFAB!Reader/female-bodied reader. As usual, minors DO NOT INTERACT! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: Horribly written smut (as usual), threesome, cockwarming, creampie, hairpulling, sex in a pantry, sex on a desk, semi-public sex, dacryphilia, cervix fucking, double penetration, agoraphilia
Word Count: 15k
Crave "Chapters": [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7]
The entrance of the abode slams open, startling the men in the estate. They looked up from what they were doing, and their heads turned towards the direction of the entrance, alarmed and confused. There by the door, stood Ayato and Thoma. Thoma was carrying you in his arms bridal style while Ayato was holding onto the back of your shirt collar like a mother cat grabbing her kitten by the scruff of their neck. You stared at the men in front of you, deadpanned while not saying a single thing. 
Diluc raised his eyebrows at the two men beside you, “What are you two doing with [Y/N]?” 
“And why is Ayato holding [Y/N] like that?” Kaeya leans on the table behind him, his head tilted to the side while looking at the three of you with a questioning gaze.
Gorou chuckles, “He’s holding [Y/N] like how a mother cat would hold her kittens.” He shakes his head, looking up at you, Ayato, and Thoma with an amused smile on his face.
“That’s what I said!” You exclaimed, struggling to get out of Thoma and Ayato’s grasp with a small scowl on your face. “Unhand me, you oafs!” You groused, kicking your feet in the air. Ayato and Thoma ignore your comment and thrash, continuing to look at the other men in the room with straight faces. “We will be taking [Y/N] to the Kamisato Estate for the next two days. They will be keeping the both of us company as we tend to our duties at the Kamisato Estate.” Ayato says.
Childe immediately speaks up, “Hold on now! If [Y/N] is going to be at the Kamisato Estate to spend some time with the two of you while both of you are doing your duties, wouldn’t they be a distraction?” Childe narrows his eyes at the Kamisato heir and the Kamisato Clan’s housekeeper.
“A distraction? How so? I believe that [Y/N] learning and seeing how Lord Ayato and I work around the estate would be a great educational purpose!” Thoma says innocently, finally releasing you from his grasp. Ayato releases your shirt collar and helps you fix your clothes while you grumble under your breath about being manhandled.
“Educational purposes?! Do you guys want to bore [Y/N] to death by talking about political affairs and cleaning the estate?” Itto exclaims, looking at the two men incredulously. 
You laugh softly, “Other than me keeping Ayato and Thoma company; I will also be finally meeting Kamisato Ayaka!” You said, clapping your hands happily. “I’ve always wanted to meet her, but she’s either busy with her duties, or Ayato and Thoma would be against it!” You frowned, playfully glaring at the two men beside you from the corner of your eyes.
Zhongli quirks an eyebrow at your comment, “And why would the two be against you being able to meet Miss Kamisato?” Zhongli crosses his arms while looking over at Ayato and Thoma.
You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know! They never gave me a reason as to why they don’t want me to meet Ayaka!” You tap on your chin before thinking it over. “Perhaps they don’t want me to distract Ayaka from her duties as the Daughter of the Kamisato Clan!” You said.
Scaramouche makes a face, “Yes, that’s one of the reasons why they don’t want you meeting Kamisato Ayaka.” He looks away from you three before reaching over to Childe, shocking the ginger male in the ribs, causing him to jolt in his seat. Childe scowls at Scaramouche before throwing bread at Scaramouche’s head.
“Wait a minute, if Thoma and Ayato were against you meeting Ayaka, then why are they suddenly bringing you to the Kamisato Estate?” Dainsleif inquires, crossing his arms over his chest while giving Thoma and Ayato a skeptical look.
“Right, why are they bringing you back to the Kamisato Estate if they don’t want you to meet Ayato’s sister?” Venti narrows his eyes at Ayato and Thoma while stroking his chin. You shrugged your shoulders in response.
Albedo hums thoughtfully, “If those two can bring [Y/N] back to the Kamisato Estate for two days, then does that mean I can bring [Y/N] to Dragonspine with me to let them see how my experiments work?” Albedo raises his eyebrows at Ayato and Thoma before looking at the other men in the room.
“Dragonspine? Yeah, not going to happen! It’s freezing up there, and it’s dangerous for them to go up there unsupervised.” Xiao retorts, glaring at the chief alchemist sitting across from him. Xiao didn’t want you to go up to Dragonspine with Albedo, not because he doesn’t trust Albedo, but because he worries about your safety, and he knows that you’re not fond of Dragonspine or the sheer cold.
Kazuha chuckles while shaking his head, “Oh, Xiao. [Y/N] won’t be going up there unsupervised! I’m sure Albedo will keep a close eye out on [Y/N] and make sure that they wear plenty of layers while visiting Albedo’s lab.” 
Baizhu nods his head in agreement, “Plus, I believe that [Y/N] will be happy to assist the chief alchemist with his experiments! After all, they’ve always wanted to assist Albedo with his scientific procedures.” 
You nodded your head excitedly, “I also want to learn alchemy! I’ve always wanted to learn more about alchemy, but I never got the chance to learn the basics of alchemy.” You said. “I think going up to Dragonspine would be fun! I also want to experience Dragonspine in person. While it’s freezing and have a gloomy ambiance, I believe that being in a new environment would be a nice change of scenery for the day!” You explained, smiling at the men happily. 
Aether makes a face at you, “I like your optimism, [Y/N]. It’s adorable and too pure for this world! But Dragonspine is also teeming with hilichurls and Fatui Skirmishers.” 
You give Aether a look, “But not in Albedo’s campsite! I’m also sure that Albedo has a route up to his campsite that avoids the hilichurls and Fatui Skirmishers.” You reply, looking over at the chief alchemist, who nods his head at your comment.
Heizou lets out a dramatic sigh before getting up from his seat and approaching where you stood, “Alright, if you two want to take [Y/N] back to the Kamisato Estate for two days, at least return back to the abode when the day ends! I’m going to miss seeing their cute face.” Heizou pouts over at you; he reaches towards you and pinches your cheeks lightly.
“Not going to happen! [Y/N] won’t get to experience the Kamisato Estate if they don’t spend the night in a traditional Inazuman household.” Ayato huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Experience the Kamisato Estate?” Tighnari mutters to himself, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. How does one experience a residence by spending the night— or two nights— at said residence? Wouldn’t you be getting the experience while you’re keeping them company at the estate? Whatever Ayato was implying, it wasn’t adding up to Tighnari and the other men.
Al Haitham crossed leans on the armrest of the couch, “If the two of you want to be selfish and have [Y/N] for yourselves for two days, then I will get to take them for myself too to the Akademiya in Sumeru.”
Pantalone lets out a soft laugh, “If these men don’t let our precious [Y/N] visit the mansion where I, Pierro, Dottore, and Capitano reside, then they surely will not let any of you take [Y/N] for yourselves in another region of Teyvat for more than a day.” He clasped his hands together in his lap and shot a pointed look at the nineteen men. Pantalone wasn’t wrong at all; you have never visited the mansion where the four Harbingers reside, only because you weren’t allowed to for your “safety” and because Itto suggested that their mansion wouldn’t be as fun and lively as the main estate.
Diluc rolls his eyes, “We have plenty of reasons as to why we don’t want [Y/N] to be visiting your little estate.”
Dottore smirks, “Oh? And what would one of those reasons be? Pray tell; I am intrigued.” Dottore rests his chin on the palm of his hand, his elbow propped up on the table. Dottore and Diluc stared at one another for an extended period of time before Diluc looked away from Dottore, causing the man to smirk and lean back in his seat.
Capitano grumbles, “Of course, they wouldn’t say what their reasons are because they don’t have one! They don’t want us in the same room as [Y/N], quite simple to understand.” 
Pierro shakes his head, “If these two gentlemen want to take [Y/N] back to the Kamisato Estate to show them what usually goes on in that estate, then let them! After all, [Y/N] does need a change of scenery for a day or two; it’s not good to keep them cooped up like an animal in the abode.” 
Ayato and Thoma quietly cheered, giving each other a high-five before looking over at Pierro with a thankful smile. Ayato and Thoma linked their arms with yours before looking at the rest of the men in the abode with big triumphant smiles on their faces. You look over at Ayato and Thoma suspiciously; they look at you with sweet, charming, and innocent smiles on their faces as if they didn’t attempt to kidnap you moments ago before going to the abode. 
“Looks like you’ll be staying at the Kamisato Estate for the next two or three days starting tomorrow!” Thoma smiles widely, throwing his arms around your shoulders.
Itto’s eyes widen at Thoma’s comment. “Two or three days!? Both of you said two days, not three days! Where did the third day come from!?” Itto exclaims, throwing his hands in the air while looking at Thoma in disbelief.
Ayato huffs, “Business at the Kamisato Estate can vary. Some take a week-long, and some businesses take less than five days to complete.” Ayato crosses his arms over his chest before giving Itto a small glare.
Gorou’s ears twitch, “Well, since the teapot will be outside of the Kamisato Estate, then that means we can hang out with the three of you for lunch!” The men around him nod their heads in agreement with Gorou’s comment.
You perked up, “Oooh! That would be fun! Let’s definitely do that!” You said, nodding your head. Ayato and Thoma made a face before looking at one another from the corner of their eyes. As fun as it sounds to have the men have lunch at the Kamisato Estate with you, Ayato, and Thoma…. It sort of beats the purpose of what both Ayato and Thoma had in mind. Meaning they want to be selfish and have you for themselves without the other men hogging you or trying to steal you and your attention. Hence why they chose to snatch you up from the others for the next two or three days.
“Why did the two of you make that face?” Scaramouche asks, staring at the two men beside you with a glare.
Childe lets out a humorless laugh, “Isn’t it obvious, Scaramouche? These two don’t want us to show up at the Kamisato Estate to have lunch with the three of them! They want to be selfish and keep [Y/N] for themselves for the next two or three days.” Childe says, crossing his arms over his chest before glaring at the blonde and light blue-haired male. Ayato and Thoma feigned an innocent look before wrapping their arms over your shoulder and around your waist.
You let out a huff, “All of you seem possessive for the last few days. It’s strange.” You said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ears.
Al Haitham snorts, “Can you blame them? I heard these men have been releasing their frustrations and desires out on you.” Al Haitham shoots you a look, the corner of his lips quirking up slightly. 
You feel your face heat up before immediately attaching yourself to the closest person you could reach out to. Since Ayato and Thoma have their arms wrapped around you, you backed up and used the two men as a shield to cover you from Al Haitham’s gaze and comment. Since Al Haitham had brought that up, you definitely do not want to see the other’s reaction because you know they will agree with Al Haitham’s comment while grumbling over not getting a turn yet (aside from the ones that did get a turn with you).
Kaeya looks at Al Haitham with his eyebrows raised, “And how would the eight of you know about the thing that has been going on?” He pointed at Al Haitham, Tighnari, Aether, Heizou, and the four Fatui Harbingers that had been away for a few weeks.
Tighnari chuckles, “Did you know that gossip circulates around the abode quite regularly? With these ears, I am able to hear everything that happens within the abode.” Tighnari says, scratching his ears while Gorou’s eyes widen, and he nods his head rapidly in agreement with Tighnari’s comment. 
“Can I pet your ears?” Heizo asks, raising his hands up to reach for Tighnari’s ears. Heizou’s hands were immediately slapped away from Tighnari’s ears by both Aether and Tighnari. Aether gave Heizou a look before whispering into Heizou’s ears about how it’s rude to pet someone’s ears and that he was lucky that all Tighnari did was smack his hands away.
Aether sighs softly, “Other than Ayato and Thoma stealing [Y/N] from us, what is [Y/N] going to do there for the next two or three days?” Aether asks, crossing his arms over his stomach with narrowed eyes.
“Well, Ayato does have a sister! So maybe [Y/N] will be spending some time with Ayaka and getting to know the Kamisato daughter.” Venti commented, shrugging his shoulders.
Kazuha hums, “That is a possibility, but again, she also has responsibilities as the daughter of the Kamisato Clan.” You nodded your head in agreement. Even if you were to visit the Kamisato Estate, it seems like you’re more likely to be alone than keeping Ayato and Thoma (and maybe Ayaka) company. Perhaps instead of being alone at the Kamisato Estate, you’ll be at Komore Teahouse instead! But who knows?
“Don’t think about exploring Inazuma alone,” Albedo says, interrupting you from your thoughts. You blinked at Albedo before sighing and walking around Ayato and Thoma. 
“As much as it sounds fun to explore Inazuma alone, I was thinking that I can maybe hang out at Komore Teahouse while Ayato and Thoma are tending to their businesses at the estate.” You said, scratching the back of your neck.
“All alone?” Xiao asks, raising his eyebrows at you. 
You stuttered, “Not alone! They can drop me off at the nearest waypoint, and I will walk to Komore Teahouse until one of them come and pick me up!” You said, puckering your lips.
“It sounds like you’ll be alone instead. If that’s the case, then you might as well stay back at the abode, and Ayato and Thoma can return to the Kamisato Estate to tend to their duties.” Baizhu says, shaking his head.
Dainsleif hums, “I agree with Baizhu on this one. If you three were to go to the Kamisato Estate and [Y/N] is left to do nothing and is alone, they might as well just remain at the abode with the rest of us.” Dainsleif gives the two men a look.
You gasp, “But I wanna see Ayaka!” You whined, pouting dramatically and almost stomping your feet on the ground like a petulant child. You made eye contact with Ayato and Thoma, who looked at you as if you’d offended all of their ancestors just by letting those words come out of your mouth. “Listen, I love the both of you, but I also want to meet my future sister-in-law too.” You said.
“Dearest, are you sure you’d be okay with going to the Kamisato Estate? What if Lord Ayato has a meeting to attend with one of the Yashiro Commissioners while Thoma is helping the other servants of the Kamisato household?” Zhongli asks softly.
“Ah, ah, ah! You didn’t mention Ayaka! I can hang out with Ayaka if she’s not busy while Thoma and Ayato are busy!” You said, pointing your fingers at Zhongli.
“Either way, there’s a slight chance that you might be alone at the Kamisato Estate.” A voice interrupts. You slowly turned your head towards the staircase to see Cyno leaning on the railing with his arms over his chest. “Or should I say Aether way?” Cyno snorts, walking down the steps with a smile on his face.
“Cyno, that is the lamest joke I have ever heard!” Tighnari sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose while shaking his head in disapproval. Just when Tighnari thought he could get away from Cyno’s lame jokes, he was wrong.
Al Haitham sighs; his head falls back on the top cushion of the couch, his eyes closed and eyebrows furrowing. “Cyno, what a lovely surprise to see you here at the abode.” Al Haitham lifts his head up and gives the man a tired glare.
“Aw! Not happy to see the one and only? I knew this was going to happen!” Cyno pouted, plopping down on the couch beside Al Haitham before looking over in your direction and wiggling his eyebrows at you. You let out a huff and looked away from Cyno, feeling your face turning hot just from a small look from him. “Or…. should I say… Anubis was going to happen.” Cyno cackles and slaps his knees; the others around him groan in unison after hearing another one of Cyno’s pun jokes.
“May I please have permission to smack him?” Scaramouche asks, raising his hands before giving the electro user a slight glare; Cyno snorts and waves Scaramouche off. 
Pierro sighs, “No, you cannot smack him, Balladeer.” Pierro pinches the bridge of his nose before rubbing his temples.
Pantalone laughs lightly, “What, you want to smack the newest member of the group just because he was cracking a small joke or two? Lighten up, Balladeer!” Pantalone says, giving Scaramouche a look before leaning in his seat with an amused smile on his face.
“It’s getting late! I believe that we should all go to bed.” Gorou says, clapping his hands to grab everyone’s attention.
Your eyes widen before you turn to look at the other men, “Wait, it’s late already!? I thought it was early in the morning!” You said, peeking from between Ayato and Thoma to get a glimpse of the sky in the abode. Indeed the night has fallen in the teapot, but somehow you (and the others aside from Gorou) didn’t seem to notice that night has fallen at all. You turned around and scratched your head, “Huh, that’s strange. Last time I checked, the sun was still out.” You grumbled.
“Aw! If we go to bed now, that means we won’t be seeing [Y/N] tomorrow because they’ll be at the Kamisato Estate with Lord Ayato and Thoma!” Venti whines. He pushes through the crowd of men before jumping into your arms with his arms wrapped around your waist.
Thoma chuckles and pats Venti on the shoulders, “Don’t worry, Venti! The teapot will be outside of the Kamisato Estate! [Y/N] can visit any time they desire to while keeping us company at the Kamisato Estate!” 
Aether snorted, “Except, we know the two of you won’t let that happen because the both of you want to have [Y/N] for yourselves for the next two or three days away from the abode!” Aether points an accusing finger at the Kamisato heir and the Kamisato housekeeper.
“I mean, I would do it too. Maybe the both of us should do that next time!” Heizou whispers to Aether, nudging the blond male. Aether’s eyes widen at Heizou’s plan before thinking about it for a moment. He looks at the others from the corner of his eyes before nodding his head in agreement.
You shook your head, “I’m going to bed now. Goodnight, everyone!” You said, giving each person a hug and a kiss on the cheeks (which took a while because some would hold onto you while the others would shower you with affection and kisses in front of the other men out of spite) before walking up the stairs to your bedroom. You closed your bedroom door and collapsed onto your bed with a tired groan. Your eyes snap open after realizing that you still need to brush your teeth and take a shower. You begrudgingly got up from your bed and pulled your clean clothes and undergarments out from the dresser before sluggishly walking to the bathroom.
After taking a quick shower and brushing your teeth, you finally collapsed on your bed and bundled yourself up in the mountain of blankets on your bed. You snuggled against your pillow and plushies before drifting off to sleep. You woke up to movements, and you weren’t sure of what was causing said movements.
“Wow, the two of you must be desperate to snatch [Y/N] away from the abode.” You hear Kaeya chuckle. Someone suddenly bounces you lightly, making you come to a realization that you are being carried on someone’s back. You cracked your eyes open and looked around tiredly.
“What’s going on?” You mumble, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes before sitting up.
“Thoma and Ayato are kidnapping you to the Kamisato Estate,” Itto says, pouting at you with his arms crossed over his chest.
You blinked at Itto before laying back down on Ayato’s back, arms thrown over his shoulders. “I thought we were leaving in the morning, not in the middle of the night. I would appreciate it if you two woke me up instead of sneaking me out of the abode.” You grumbled, pressing your cheek against Ayato’s back with a small sigh.
“Oh, my! How deep asleep were you? Ayato and Thoma did try to wake you up, but you continued to sleep.” You hear Baizhu chuckle, fingers combing through your hair.
You grumbled and snuggled up against Ayato’s back, “It’s because it’s still in the middle of the night. Why would we go to the Kamisato Estate in the middle of the night?” You let out a dramatic sigh.
“It may be a shock to you, but it’s nine in the morning.” Albedo commented; your eyelids flew open, and you sat up and looked over at the nearest window. You squinted your eyes before burying your face into Ayato’s back.
“How in the world did the sun rise so fast? I was not informed of this at all.” You mumbled, peeking up from Ayato’s back, blinking at the brightness. “How long was I asleep for?” You ask, blinking at the men tiredly.
“You’ve been asleep for almost ten hours,” Xiao says, pressing his back up against the wall with his arms over his chest.
Diluc nods his head, “You must have been really exhausted because you did wake up when Lord Ayato and Thoma woke you up to get ready, but you were out like a light within two minutes of being woken up from your sleep.” 
“And you were mumbling about how much you love me more than you love the others! Isn’t that right, snookums? You love me more than the others!” Childe says, trotting up to you with a big smile on his face.
Dainsleif sighs, “Don’t start this now, Childe.” Dainsleif rolls his eyes and shakes his head with an annoyed look on his face. If Dainsleif could smack Childe with no consequences, he would do it in a heartbeat.
“We packed you some spare clothes to wear while you’re staying at the Kamisato Estate,” Zhongli says, holding up a small suitcase that contained your clothes, undergarments, and bathroom essentials.
You puckered your lips before giving the former archon a thankful smile, “Aw! Thank you, Zhongli! I really appreciate it!” You said, reaching out to the man before squeezing his hand lightly.
“Make sure to get plenty of rest while staying at the Kamisato Estate. If I can recall, you once told me that you have issues with sleeping in a foreign place. Do get some plenty of rest while away from the abode for the next two or three days,” Kazuha says, brushing his thumb over the apples of your cheeks.
“I’ll try.” You hum softly, giving Kazuha a small smile. Kazuha smiles back at you before leaning in to kiss your forehead. After that, each man began to bid you, Thoma, and Ayato a temporary goodbye while giving you a hug and a kiss. After leaving the teapot, the three of you are now standing in front of the Kamisato Estate. You leaned against Thoma with your arms linked with their arms, still trying to wake yourself.
“Big brother! Thoma! You’re home!” You three hear. You, Thoma, and Ayato look up, only to see the daughter of the Kamisato Clan run down the steps with a smile on her face. You and Ayaka made eye contact, her eyes lit up, and she stopped in front of you. “You must be the famous [Y/N]! My brother and Thoma talk about you all the time!” She says, grabbing onto your hands with a big smile on her face.
“Milady, it’s nice to finally meet you! I have wanted to meet you for ages, but for some reason, Ayato and Thoma wouldn’t let me!” You said, turning around to give the two men a look. Ayato and Thoma look away, acting like they didn’t hear what you just said.
“Please, just call me Ayaka! It’s great to meet you after hearing these two talk about you!” Ayaka says, squeezing your hands lightly. “Please, come on in! I bet the three of you are hungry!” Ayaka says, pulling you into the estate with Ayato and Thoma following behind.
“That’s nice of you, milady! But Lord Ayato and I have already had breakfast! It’s just [Y/N] that hasn’t eaten anything today. After all, we did rouse them from their sleep to bring them to the Kamisato Estate.” Said Thoma, waving to the other servants of the Kamisato Estate.
Ayaka’s eyes widen, “Is that so? No worries! The servants have prepared plenty of food for you to eat!” Ayaka says. 
“While the food is getting ready, Thoma and I will be showing you around the Kamisato Estate and where you will be staying,” Ayato says. Ayato wraps his right arm around your waist before guiding you deeper into the Kamisato Estate with Thoma walking beside you. While you were analyzing the interior decor of the Kamisato Estate, you failed to sense the tension that was rising within the mansion.
“Here is where you will be staying for the next two or three days! Please make yourself at home and get comfortable!” Ayato says, lightly squeezing your waist while Thoma places your luggage down beside the dresser.
You sit on the bed and feel yourself wanting to lay on the bed and sleep, “This bed is really comfortable.” You hummed. You stretched your limbs before laying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling before yawning. “After breakfast, I am going back to sleep.” You said, rubbing the tears that pooled around your eyes from yawning. You didn’t get a response from the two men; you lifted your head up to check why they weren’t responding, only to see that they were staring at you with a strange expression on their faces. Right when you were about to open your mouth to ask them what was wrong, the three of you heard one of the Kamisato Estate servants announcing that food was ready.
“Oh! It looks like breakfast and lunch are ready.” Thoma says; he held his hand out for you to take. 
You sat up and reached out to Thoma’s hand, letting him pull you up from the bed. The three of you approached the dining area, only to see all sorts of food placed on the table. You closed your eyes and breathed in the delicious aroma of food on the table. You feel your stomach beginning to growl. Breakfast and lunch consisted of Ayaka getting to know you more while Ayato and Thoma sat across from the both of you.
Ayato was only a few bites into his lunch (which was interesting because he and Thoma had eaten before leaving the abode); one of the Kamisato servants approached Ayato before whispering something into his ears. 
Ayato places his chopsticks down on the cloth napkin before letting out a quiet sigh, “It seems my attention is needed elsewhere. Duty calls.” Ayato says, getting up from his seat. Before he walks off, he stops in his tracks before turning to look at you, “I expect to see you in my office after you’re done with your food.”
Your eyes widen before nodding your head, “Alright! I’ll come to your office after I’m done eating.” You said. Ayato gives you a small smile before walking to where his office is located within the Kamisato Estate. 
“[Y/N], what do you think about the Kamisato Estate so far?” Ayaka asks, taking a sip from her teacup elegantly.
You hum softly, reaching for the cloth napkin before dabbing your lips lightly. “It’s pretty busy! Everyone in the estate has a responsibility that keeps them occupied throughout the entire day.” You said, reaching over to the plate of the tri-flavored skewer. “I’m curious what each individual’s day-to-day life is like at the Kamisato Estate.” You took a bite from the tri-flavored skewer and hummed in delight. The food that is presented on the table is delicious, and you would love to learn how to cook each dish for the men when you return to the abode. But knowing Thoma, he would much rather be the one to cook. Perhaps he wouldn’t mind teaching you how to cook some of the Inazuma dishes if you help him out with his duties.
“Well, since Lord Ayato is currently in his office filling out paperwork, you’ll be able to see what his day-to-day life is like! After that, I will show you what my day-to-day life is like as the housekeeper of the Kamisato Estate.” Thoma says, reaching over to wipe the corner of your lips with his thumb.
Ayaka perks up, “Before you go to visit my brother, I have ordered you a custom-made kimono to wear while you stay here! I hope you don’t mind.” She tucks a loose piece of hair behind her ears.
Your eyes widen, “O-Oh! Ayaka! You didn’t have to order me a custom-made kimono!” You said, grabbing onto Ayaka’s hands gently. “Also, how do you know my size?” You look at Ayaka curiously.
She giggles, “With the help of my brother and Thoma, of course! And I insisted!” Ayaka looks over at Thoma, who looks away from the both of you while taking a sip of his Dango milk. 
You shrugged your shoulders before continuing to eat your meal while conversing with Ayaka and Thoma. As breakfast and lunch came to an end, Thoma was called to help out the other servants at the Kamisato Estate. Thoma gives you and Ayaka a small smile before getting up to aid the other servants. A servant approaches you and Ayaka with a small gift box in their hands, bowing to the Kamisato daughter before handing the package to her.
“Here is your kimono! If you need any assistance, please don’t hesitate to ask me!” Ayaka says, giving you the package with a smile on her face. 
You thanked Ayaka with a bow before taking the box from her hands and turning around to walk to your temporary bedroom. You slid the door closed behind you and unboxed the kimono; the patterns are beautiful, the fabric feels luxurious, and the color is breathtaking. You couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty over the fact that Ayaka had spent a lot of mora on the kimonos for you to wear while you were staying at the Kamisato Estate.
You stripped off your clothes and changed into the beautiful kimono that Ayaka had graciously gifted to you. You managed to get the kimono on after what felt like ten minutes. The kimono was not too long, not too short; it was the perfect length and fitted you like a glove. You walked to the mirror that was hung up on the wall before examining your reflection. While you were looking at your reflection, you heard a faint knock coming from outside of the guest bedroom.
“[Y/N], it’s Ayaka! May I come in?” Her voice was muffled behind the shōji.
Forgetting that Ayaka couldn’t see you, you nodded your head. You smacked your forehead lightly before responding, “Yes, you may enter, Ayaka!” You hear the door slide open. A soft gasp came from behind you; you looked in the mirror and made eye contact with Ayaka. She had both of her hands covering her mouth while she analyzed you from head to toe.
“[Y/N]! You look beautiful in the kimono!” Ayaka says, slowly walking up to you while admiring you from head to toe. “I’m happy to see that I got the correct measurements for your kimono!” Ayaka smiles happily.
“The kimono fits like a glove! Thank you so much, Ayaka!” You said, bowing to the girl in front of you.
Ayaka laughs while shaking her head, “Don’t thank me! Thank my brother and Thoma! After all, they did help me get your measurements for the kimono ahead of time before your arrival!” Ayaka says.
You looked at her with surprise, “Ahead of time!? So what you’re implying is that both Thoma and Ayato have been planning on taking me to the Kamisato Estate for quite some time now?” You ask. 
Ayaka nods her head, “That is correct, [Y/N]! Now, let me help you get ready to meet my big brother in this office! We want you to look not only beautiful, but we want you to look breathtaking as well that’ll leave both Ayato and Thoma breathless!” Ayaka says, gesturing you to sit down at the vanity before pulling out a hairbrush with two other Kamisato servants entering the room.
The first servant, named Yuri, brushed and styled your hair while the other Kamisato servant, named Kyoko, put on light makeup on your face. While both Yuri and Kyoko were styling you, Ayaka was telling you embarrassing stories about Thoma and Ayato. Most of the stories caught you off guard because Ayato is a very refined man and doesn’t seem to be the type that has been put through many embarrassing situations.
“And you are done!” Kyoko says, taking a step away from you with a satisfied smile on her face. “What do you think, Milady?” Kyoko turns to the young girl beside her.
Ayaka’s eyes lit up, “[Y/N] looks lovely! You did an amazing job, Kyoko!” Ayaka praises the woman, who smiles and bows at Ayaka. Kyoko hands over the small hand mirror to you; you look in the mirror and are in awe of what you are seeing. 
“Wow! You did an amazing job, Kyoko! I look like a different person!” You said, looking up at the woman with wide eyes in awe.
Kyoko smiles pridefully, “Now you are ready to see the young master!” She claps her hands. You smile at Ayaka, Kyoko, and Yuri before getting up from the bed and adjusting the kimono. Yuri goes to open the door, revealing Ayato and Thoma standing at the door, waiting for you.
“Oh, Ayato and Thoma! Did I make you wait too long?” You ask, looking at the two men worriedly.
“We just wanted to see you,” Thoma says, shrugging his shoulders. “Might I say, you look lovely in that kimono, [Y/N]! Ayaka, Yuri, and Kyoko did a magnificent job.” Thoma says, admiring you from head to toe.
Ayato nods his head, “Indeed, [Y/N] does look magnificent in the elegant kimono and all dolled up for us.” Ayato says, giving you a soft smile before holding his arm out for you to take. “Shall we go to my office now? I want to show you what my day looks like as the head of the Kamisato Clan and the responsibilities that come with it.” 
You smiled and linked your arms with his, “We shall, Mister Kamisato. Or should I say, my Lord?” You said, quirking up an eyebrow at Ayato. Ayato gives you a look before escorting you out of your temporary bedroom.
Standing in front of Ayato’s office, Thoma presses a quick kiss on your cheeks before being dragged away by the other Kamisato servants that needed his assistance. Ayato slides the office door open and guides you into his office before sliding the door closed behind the two of you. 
You let go of Ayato’s arms and walked around the office, eyes scanning the room in awe. It was pretty spacious with beautiful Inazuman furniture. For someone that has a lot of paperwork to fill out, along with documents, his desk was quite neat. Ayato walks over to his desk and sits down on the cushioned chair before gesturing for you to come over. You walked over to where Ayato sat and stood beside his desk, looking down at him curiously. After a few seconds of standing there, you realize that there aren’t any extra chairs in the room for you to sit on.
“Where will I be sitting, Ayato? There aren’t any spare seats in your office.” You said, lacing your fingers together while trying not to feel out of place.
Ayato pushes his chair back from his desk and pats his lap, “You’ll be sitting on my lap as I fill out some documents.” Ayato stated. You stared at Ayato for a moment, assuming that he was just joking, only to realize that he wasn’t joking at all. 
“If that’s okay with you, then alright! As long as I’m not distracting you from your work.” You said, sitting down on his lap. 
Ayato chuckles and wraps his arms around your waist before scooting the chair closer to the wooden desk. “No need to worry. You won’t be a distraction at all, my love.” He says, pressing a delicate kiss on your cheeks. You feel your face become hot at the affection; you lean back against Ayato’s chest, examining the paperwork that he was filling out.
“How many things do you have to fill out?” You murmured, your eyes trailing over to the stack of documents on the right side of the table. “And do any of these have deadlines?” You added, taking a peek up at Ayato, only to see that he was already staring down at you.
He hums softly, “Most of the documents that I fill out are due within five to seven business days. Although, it does depend on how fast it’ll be delivered and how urgent the Clan needs the document.” Ayato replies, placing his pen down on the table.
“Ayato, you’re getting distracted.” You pointed out, poking his cheeks lightly with your index finger. “Don’t let me distract you from your important business.” You murmur. Ayato chuckles and cups your face in his right hand before peppering kisses on your neck.
“How could I focus on my paperwork when you’re a sight to behold?” Ayato murmurs against your neck. “Plus, the majority of my paperwork is just me signing approval of what the Kamisato Clan and other clans in Inazuma have gone over. It’s not as important as you.” Ayato says, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“I don’t want you to get into trouble, but at the same time, I don’t want you to stop.” You whisper, laying your head on Ayato’s shoulders, letting out a small gasp when you feel Ayato’s hands trailing up your bare legs inside of the kimono.
Ayato chuckles against your neck, lightly nibbling at it before squeezing the plush of your thighs. “You needn’t worry about anything, my love. No one will dare to walk into the office unless it is an emergency or another document has been delivered.” Ayato says, adjusting you on his lap. You let out a shaky gasp when you feel Ayato grind his now hardened cock up against your ass. “Do you want me to stop?” Ayato murmurs, his hands rubbing your hips as he buries his face into your neck.
You shake your head in response, “Please don’t stop.” You whisper, turning to look at Ayato.
Ayato looks up at you through his thick lashes with a smile; he leans forward and presses his lips against yours. Ayato grabs you by your waist before laying you down on his desk.
“I’m not sure if I should rush it or take my time with you.” Ayato hums, stroking his chin as he stares down at you. Ayato rubs his gloved hands on your bare legs and thighs, inching closer to your crotch. “Hmmm…. I guess we shall wait and see how it goes.” Ayato shrugged his shoulders before leaning over you to press his lips against yours. You immediately wrapped your arms around Ayato’s shoulders, pulling him close to your body and tangling your fingers in his soft, light blue hair. You feel Ayato’s hands creep further into your kimono, his slim index and middle fingers looping around the band of your underwear before slipping them down your legs. You lift your waist for him to slide your underwear off, not breaking the kiss that is shared between you two. 
After successfully taking your underwear off, Ayato reaches down and starts unzipping his pants, freeing his stiff cock out from the confinements of his underwear and pants. Ayato breaks the kiss between you two before biting the fingertip of his right glove, promptly taking the glove off. Ayato leans down and presses his lips against your neck, lightly nibbling on your neck. Ayato strokes his erect member, his breath beginning to quicken.
“Try not to be loud,” Ayato murmurs into your ears, his warm breath fanning your neck. You swallowed the lump in your throat when you felt the tip of his dick prodding and rubbing up against your heat. You gripped Ayato’s shoulders tightly, bracing yourself. Ayato slowly enters your warm entrance, his eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head when his cock is engulfed by the velvety walls of your hole.
“Oh, fuck.” You whispered, your head resting on the desk, feeling your body accommodate his size. You grit your teeth together, eyebrows furrowing, a small hiss coming from your mouth. A strained groan comes from Ayato’s throat, sinking further into your cavern.
“You’re so tight.” Ayato pants into your ears, lightly gripping onto your hair. “You would think that an oni like Itto would stretch you out, but it seems like he’s not as big as he claimed to be.” Ayato mused, sending a sharp thrust. A loud wail leaves your mouth; your eyes widen before you slap both of your hands over your mouth, your walls quivering around Ayato’s hot cock. Ayato sighs, a shiver shooting up his body when he feels you clench around his stiff member.
“I told you to try to keep it down,” Ayato murmurs, pulling his cock out of you, only leaving the tip of his dick inside of you.
You whimpered, “I-I’m sorry! It was so sudden! I didn’t have enough time to react.” You squeaked, gazing up at Ayato with tears in your eyes. Ayato feels something in him stir when he sees tears gathered in your eyes. Maybe he’s sadistic, but he wants to see you cry as he impales you with his fat cock.
“Don’t cry now; you’ll ruin your cute little makeup.” He coos, wiping the tear from the corner of your eyes with his thumb. Ayato lifts his thumb up to his lips before sucking on the teardrop. You look up at Ayato, thighs shaking. Ayato grabs onto your waist before plunging his cock back into your entrance. You dug your nails into his back, attempting to muffle your cries and yelps with your right hand. “Has anyone ever told you that you look cute whenever you cry?” Ayato groans into your ears, nibbling on your earlobe while languidly thrusting into your heat.
“Faster, you’re going too slow!” You whined, tugging at his coat. Ayato pauses his thrust before raising an eyebrow at your demand. 
Ayato chuckles, “Too slow, you say? Alright, you asked for it.” Ayato shrugs his shoulders. 
Ayato tightens his grip around your waist before pistoning his cock in and out of your entrance. You nearly shot up to the edge of the desk if it weren’t for the firm grip Ayato had on your waist. Your eyes are shut, your legs are wrapped tightly around his waist, nails digging into his wrist. Stars danced behind your eyelids; your legs were trembling with pleasure, your walls clenching around Ayato’s cock. You let out a quiet string of whimpers and gasps with each thrust Ayato was sending your way, pleasure shooting up your spine. You bite down on your lips, eyes rolling to the back of your head when you feel the bulbous tip of Ayato’s member repeatedly hit your cervix. Ayato grinds his pubic bone against your engorged bulb-shaped organ, causing you to let out a loud gasp; your back arches, walls squeezing around his cock. The sounds of skin slapping, labored breathing, an occasional whine, gasp, and moan fill the office air.
“It seems I found the cute little nerve of yours.” Ayato teases you, reaching down to pinch and roll between his fingertips. Your jaws drop, your tongue rolls out of your mouth, and a quiet squeal leaves your mouth while Ayato plunges his cock in and out of your entrance, squeezing and rolling the bundle of nerves between his thumb and index finger. A tight coil starts to form at the lower part of your stomach, causing your eyes to widen; you grab onto his wrist tightly, looking up at him, panicked.
“A-Ayato! I’m going to cum!” You whimpered softly, rolling your hips against his hips.
Ayato chuckles and leans down, sucking below your jaws, “Oh yeah? Do you want to cum on my cock?” Ayato teases, continuing to hammer his dick deep inside of your entrance. You squealed when Ayato lifted your right leg up, throwing it over his shoulders, his member striking the deepest part of your heat.
“Yes, please! Please let me cum on your cock.” You whined into his ears. Ayato chuckles and bites down on your shoulders, ramming his cock into your hole. Just when you were about to cum, the sound of knocking interrupted you two. Ayato pauses his thrusts and looks up at the door, his chest heaving with each breath.
Ayato reaches up and wipes the sweat from his forehead, “State your business.” Ayato says, trying to even out his breathing.
Both you and Ayato hear Thoma’s voice coming from behind the closed door, “My Lord, you have a visitor from the Kujou Clan.”
You and Ayato looked over at one another with wide eyes. You begin to push at Ayato’s chest, trying to get him off of you and out of your guts, but Ayato remains still. Ayato tightens his grip around your waist, pressing his cock deeper inside of you.
“Give me a moment to organize the desk. [Y/N] and I have been aimlessly flipping through documents and sorting them.” Ayato says, standing up.
“Alright, let me know when you’re ready, My Lord!” Thoma says, his voice still muffled behind the door. Ayato wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you up; his dick remains buried deep inside of your hole.
“What are you doing?!” You hissed as Ayato sat back down on his cushioned chair with you on his lap, his cock tucked inside of your quivering heat. Ayato turns you around to have your back pressed up against his chest; he helps you adjust your kimono and appearance, making sure that the both of you don’t look out of place or suspicious.
Ayato shrugs his shoulders, “Making sure that you and I don’t look suspicious to our visitor. What else does it look like?” Ayato asks, adjusting himself in his seat. Ayato’s sudden movement caused his cock to bury further into your heat. You bite your lips; your head falls back on Ayato’s shoulders. “Try to act like you don’t have my cock buried in the deepest part of your organs,” Ayato instructs, giving you a teasing smile.
You huffed, “As long as you don’t make it hard for me, then I got this.” You said, fixing your hair. Ayato smiles devilishly before thrusting up, the mushroom tip of his cock hitting your cervix. You let out a choked groan and slowly looked up at him with a small glare.
“Thoma, you may let the member of the Kujou Clan enter,” Ayato casually announces, reaching over to his right glove and putting it on. You silently gulped when the door slid open; the member of the Kujou Clan walked into the room with Thoma accompanying him.
“Oh! It seems you have a guest here with you too.” The man says, looking at you in surprise.
Ayato smiles, “Yes, I was showing my lover what I usually do in my office whenever I work. They were curious to see how busy I could get when it came to documents and paperwork to fill out. Not only that, but I am also teaching them what to look out for when signing documents if I am ever away.” Ayato explains, smiling at the man that stood before you and Ayato.
You nod your head with a fake smile on your face, “I’ve always wanted to know what Lord Ayato deals with when filling out paperwork. While I understand that these documents are confidential between the Kamisato Clan and the other clans, I only kept my eyes on Lord Ayato as he explained what to look for when signing documents.” You said, your nails digging into the palm of your hands beneath the desk.
“Interesting.” The man murmurs, stroking his chin. “I wasn’t aware that the Kamisato heir has a lover, but nonetheless, I am happy for the two of you! Shall we get started?” The man asks; Ayato nods his head at the man with a small smile while you give the man a stiff smile, trying your best to ignore the cock that is buried deep inside of you.
Needless to say, the meeting with the member of the Kujou Clan was tortuous for you. Frequently, Ayato would shift in his seat, making his dick drag in and out of your sopping wet hole. You would have to hold onto the desk really tightly while trying to keep a straight face as if you didn’t have the Kamisato heir’s cock buried deep inside of your cavern. 
Thoma would give you and Ayato a weird look each time either one of you shifted in your seats. What Thoma doesn’t know, or at least you hope he doesn’t, is the only reason why both you and Ayato would shift in your spots a lot is to find a way to relieve the tension where the both of you are connected. 
“And will that be all?” Ayato asks, looking at the member of the Kujou Clan curiously, placing his pen down on the desk next to the signed document.
The man smiles and shakes his head, “That will be it for today, Mister Kamisato!” The man gets up from the seat that Thoma had brought into the office. He bows to you and Ayato (you assumed that the man is mainly bowing at Ayato, but in order not to make it seem awkward, he ends up bowing to both you and Ayato) before leaving the room with Thoma following behind. The door slides shut, and the two of you wait for the footsteps to fade away.
After the footsteps are gone, you find yourself pinned to the desk with your chest on the table and Ayato towering over you from behind. When you open your mouth to speak, Ayato pulls his stiff member out from inside of you before plunging deep inside of you. You let out a choked gasp; your hands gripped the edge of the desk in front of you until your knuckles turned white.
Ayato presses his chest against your back, continuously ramming his fat cock deep inside of you. “You have no idea how much I have to hold myself back from fucking you on this desk in front of the member of the Kujou Clan and Thoma.” Ayato groans, picking up the pace of his thrust. “You drive me crazy.” He hisses, feeling his orgasm approaching.
“Ayato! Don’t stop! I’m about to cum.” You whined softly, tugging at his sleeves. 
The tight coil in your lower abdomen starts to form and tighten the more Ayato pistons his member inside of you. Ayato clenches his jaws together; his grip around your waist is so tight that you are sure that it will leave a mark the next day. Ayato’s thrust gets sloppier each thrust the more he gets closer to his high. Ayato threw his head back, sending one last sharp jab into your heat before thick ropes of hot cum spilled inside of you. You clenched around Ayato’s cock, milking his cock and cumming around him. You go limp on the desk, chest heaving, body covered in sweat. The kimono was sticking to your skin, and it was making you feel even hotter than you already were from your and Ayato’s activities.
“How are you feeling?” Ayato breathes, slowly pulling his now soft cock out from inside of you, putting his cock back into his underwear, pulling his pants up, and zipping up his pants. 
You sighed and glanced up at Ayato from over your shoulders, “I feel much better now that Thoma and the member of the Kujou Clan have left the office.” You said, slowly getting up from the desk, almost wincing when you feel your and Ayato’s mixed cum spilling out from your soiled entrance. “I’m going to need to clean that up.” You murmured, leaning over to grab your underwear from the ground behind the desk. It was a good thing that your underwear wasn’t lying out in the open for Thoma and the Kujou Clan member to see. That would have been a very awkward situation, and it’ll be hard for the both of you to come up with some sort of an excuse as to why your underwear is on the floor of Ayato’s office. 
“Ah, ah, ah!” Ayato says, walking over to where you stood. “I will be taking that as a souvenir for myself,” Ayato says, plucking your underwear from your grasp. 
You stared at Ayato with wide eyes, “If you wanted to keep one of my underwear as a souvenir, you could’ve chosen a clean one.” You pouted at Ayato, reaching up to grab the underwear in his grasp, only for Ayato to dodge from your grasp.
“No need, I am fine with these,” Ayato says, pocketing your underwear. You stared at Ayato with wide eyes before looking away from the man.
You mumble, “Well, how in the world am I going to be walking out of your office without looking suspicious? I’m leaking.” You said, gesturing to your lower half.
“Maybe I want other people to know our little activities behind closed doors,” Ayato says nonchalantly, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you to his chest with a sly grin on his face. You grumbled and pressed your face against his chest, letting out a soft sigh. How can you be mad at that sweet smile of his? That dang cute ass mole and endearing smile of his was making it hard for you to be upset with him.
You sighed dramatically, “You’re lucky I love you, Ayato. And that you’re cute.” You grumbled, glaring at the Kamisato heir playfully, who smiled down at you before pressing a kiss on your head.
The next day, you woke up to the window blinds in your temporary bedroom open—the sunlight shining in your eyes. You groaned and threw your blanket over your head, blocking out the sunlight that was shining through the window blinds. You hear someone approach where your lay. The bed beside you dipped, and before you knew it, someone ripped the blankets right off of your body. 
“Morning, [Y/N]! Are you ready for the day?” Thoma asks, peering down at you with the sweetest smile on his face.
You pouted up at Thoma, “As you can see, I am not ready for the day at all.” You grumbled, attempting to reach down and grab the blanket at the edge of the bed, only for Thoma to push it away from you further. You started at Thoma blankly, who stared back at you, his smile never faltering. “What are you doing?” You ask, staring up at the blond male quizzically.
Thoma chuckles, “Well, since you spent time with Ayato yesterday and got to see what he does in his daily life as the Kamisato Heir and the head of the Kamisato Clan! Today is the day where you get to see what I usually do as the housekeeper of the Kamisato Estate!” Thoma explains, combing his fingers through your bedhead, his fingers occasionally getting stuck in your tangled hair.
“What time is it?” You grumbled, slowly sitting up on the bed, rubbing your eyes to adjust to the brightness in your room.
“It is currently seven in the morning!” Thoma chirps; your head snaps in Thoma’s direction, eyes wide. You look out the window, and even though the sun is rising, it doesn’t look like it is seven in the morning at all. Heck, it seems like it could be eight or nine in the morning instead! Speaking of seven in the morning, does Thoma usually get up around this time to get ready for the day and start his duties as the housekeeper of the Kamisato Estate?
You pursed your lips for a moment, looking at Thoma with your hands in your lap. “Do you usually get up this early in the morning at the Kamisato Estate?” You inquired, tilting your head to the side while scratching your head.
Thoma nods his head, “I also usually get up around this time back at the abode as well.” Thoma replies. “Now, let's get up, shall we? We need to start the day and prepare some breakfast to eat!” Thoma says, reaching for your hand.
“Alright, but let me change into the other kimono that Ayaka got for me.” You said, getting up from the bed and walking over to the wooden dresser where the kimono was hung.
Thoma makes an uncertain noise, “Since you’re spending time with me and are seeing what I am doing in my day-to-day life at the Kamisato Estate, you won’t need to wear the kimono that Ayaka has gotten for you. After all, you will be helping me with some of my duties as well.” Thoma speaks up, walking up to where you stood.
“Oh! Then that makes things easier for me.” You said, walking over to your luggage and pulling out the clothes that Zhongli had packed for you. You’re very thankful that Zhongli had packed you comfortable yet cute clothes; he knows you so well. Depending on how tired you are, you could take a while in the bathroom. But since you know that Thoma is on a time crunch as the housekeeper of the Kamisato Estate, you knew you couldn’t and shouldn’t waste Thoma’s time.
You walked out of your bedroom, teeth brushed, dressed, and ready to go. You slowly walked around the estate, searching for the blond male.
“Thoma?” You call out softly, making sure to keep your voice at a minimum volume just in case someone is still sleeping. Your vision suddenly turns black when someone places their hands over your eyes, your back pressed up against someone’s chest.
“Guess who.” The person whispers, their breath tickling your neck, causing goosebumps to form on your arms.
You placed your hands over the person’s hand and began feeling their gloves. They were wearing fingerless gloves, and you could feel the intricate designs on the fingerless gloves. Ayato doesn’t wear fingerless gloves, and you’re not even sure if Ayaka wears any sort of gloves. Plus, you recognize these gloves.
You hum softly, “Thoma! I didn’t know you had time for a joke like this?” You said, grabbing onto the person’s hands and pulling them away from your face. You turned around to face Thoma, only to come face to face with Ayato, who was smiling down at you with one eyebrow raised. “Ayato!” You squeaked, eyes widening in surprise. You looked at Ayato’s hands, only to see that he was indeed wearing Thoma’s gloves. You narrowed your eyes at the Kamisato heir, who laughed at your reaction. He pulls his hands out from your grasp and pinches your cheeks while you continue to glare holes into his person.
“Ah! So that’s where my gloves went!” Thoma says, walking over to you and Ayato with his arms crossed over his chest. “I see that you have decided to wear my gloves to trick [Y/N].” Thoma mused, the corner of his lips quirking up as Ayato took Thoma’s gloves off before handing them over to the blond male. Thoma chuckled softly and began to slip his fingerless gloves into his hands.
“I wanted to see if [Y/N] was able to differentiate between the both of us if we swapped gloves,” Ayato says cooly, putting his gloves back on. 
You sputtered, “I was correct, but I was bamboozled!” You said, lightly hitting Ayato’s chest before walking over to Thoma’s side, linking your arms around his. “I believe that you and I have something to do.” You said, looking up at Thoma.
Thoma smiles and nods his head, “That is correct! If you’ll excuse us, My Lord, [Y/N] and I will be starting the day off!” Thoma says, giving the head of the Kamisato Clan a smile.
Ayato nods his head, “Alright! I will see you two at breakfast.” Ayato says, nodding to both you and Thoma before turning to walk in the direction of where his office is located. Ayato stops in his tracks for a moment before turning over to you; you give Ayato a questioning gaze as he approaches you. Ayato caresses your face in his hands before pressing his lips on your forehead before pulling away, giving you one last smile before walking off.
Thoma squeezes your hand. You look up at Thoma, who has a strange expression on his face. “Shall we begin the day together as the housekeeper of the Kamisato Estate?” Thoma asks, flashing you a fake smile.
“We shall!” You said, smiling at Thoma as he pulled you towards the direction of the kitchen and dining area of the estate. Ingredients were laid out on the kitchen island, ranging from salt, pepper, lavender melons, sakura blooms, seagrass, potatoes, tomatoes, flour, and eggs. Your eyes widened as you looked over at Thoma, who looked almost satisfied with your reaction. “How many things are we going to cook for breakfast?!” You ask.
Thoma shrugs his shoulders, “It depends on what we’re cooking! Each of these ingredients can make up about ten to fifteen dishes, depending on what we’re cooking and what ingredients are needed.” Thoma replies, reaching over to a bright red tomato, frowning before letting out a soft ‘huh.’
You look at Thoma curiously, walking over to where he stood. “What’s wrong, Thoma? Did something seem off about that tomato?” You ask, peeking over his shoulders to get a better look at the tomato.
“This tomato has mold on it,” Thoma murmurs. “Can you go look in the pantry for fresh tomatoes? It should be on the middle shelf with the other produce.” Thoma points over at the moderate-sized pantry room where the ingredients are held in. 
You nodded your head and walked to the pantry to look for the best fresh tomato. When you walked into the pantry, you flicked on the light switch of the pantry and walked into the deepest part of the pantry where the produce is located. You stopped in front of the produce and picked up the tomato that you think is perfect enough to be used as an ingredient. You hear footsteps following you to the pantry but ignore them.
“Hey, Thoma, are these tomatoes good? They seem to be perfectly fine to me, but I’m no expert.” You said, holding up the tomato to show Thoma the tomato that you’ve chosen. After not hearing a response from Thoma, you turned to look at Thoma. You almost bumped into Thoma’s chest; you backed up and looked at him with wide eyes.
“Ah, can you check to see if this is good enough?” You ask, holding up the red tomato. Thoma grabs your wrists and pulls you to his chest, causing you to stumble and drop the tomato, causing it to smash on the wooden floor of the pantry. You looked up at Thoma with wide eyes, blinking at him owlishly. 
“Was the tomato not good enough?” You ask, your gaze landing on the smashed tomato on the ground.
Thoma backs you up against the shelf, caging you in with his arms as he gazes down at you intently. He grabs your face with his right hand and tilts your head up so you can look into his eyes as he stares down at you. You couldn’t help but feel both intimidated and turned on by what he had done.
“I heard,” Thoma states, staring down at you.
You blinked at Thoma, “You heard what?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.
The corner of his lips quirked up, “I heard you and Ayato in his office yesterday.” Thoma replies. Your eyes widened in horror; your face felt like it was immediately engulfed in flames. 
“You knew?!” You squeaked; Thoma grabbed the end of your hair and twirled it in his fingers, slowly nodding his head.
Thoma leans his face close to yours before whispering, “I heard everything from start to finish.” You felt like you were going to faint; your knees wobbling, face hot and flustered, heart racing against your chest. “Since Ayato had his turn with you, it’s only fair that I get to have my turn with you,” Thoma says, pressing his lips against your neck. 
You gulped and pressed your hands against Thoma’s muscular chest, gripping onto his black shirt. You let your head fall back against the wooden shelf, giving some room for Thoma to lick and suck on your neck.
“So, are you okay with me having my way with you?” Thoma asks, pulling away from your neck, his thumb swiping over your lower lip while he bit down on his lips. “If not, I’ll stop, and we’ll continue to cook breakfast—” You cut Thoma off by pulling him by the collar of his shirt, pressing your lips against his. Thoma’s hands immediately reach up to the back of your head, deepening the kiss between the two of you. Your hands slowly trail down to his hips, wrapping both of your arms around his waist, the two of you stumbling back to the shelves, knocking over some of the vegetables off the shelf.
“We need to make this quick before Ayato and Ayaka start to question where we’re at and why breakfast isn’t at the table yet,” Thoma murmurs against your lips before breaking the kiss between the two of you.
You snorted and ran your fingers through Thoma’s hair, “Ayato said almost the same thing yesterday.” You said, tilting your head to the side.
Thoma sighs dramatically, “Unfortunately, if either of us wanted to take our time with you, we would have to go somewhere that isn’t the Kamisato Estate.” He ran his fingers through his blond hair.
You pat his head lightly, “Next time.” You said, giving the man a small smile. “Let’s make this quick because having both of the Kamisato siblings walk in on us having sex in the pantry is something I do not want to deal with.” You said, tugging on Thoma’s shirt.
Thoma chuckles and presses his lips against yours, pulling you to his chest by the waist before murmuring, “jump” against your lips. You jump, and Thoma wraps your legs around his waist, struggling to loosen his pants. Seeing that he was having a hard time with taking his pants off, you unwrapped your legs around his waist and helped him with slipping his pants and underwear down to his midthigh. You were glad that you chose to wear flowy loose shorts; you wouldn’t have to take your shorts off entirely for Thoma to rail you against the produce shelves in the pantry of the Kamisato Estate.
“Okay, you can jump now,” Thoma says; he places both of his hands on your hips, lifting you in the air as you jump and wrap your legs around his slim waist. 
You wrap both of your arms around his shoulders, fingers tangling in his soft, blond hair as he peppers your face and neck with kisses. Thoma reaches down and strokes his hardened cock, aligning it up to your entrance after pushing your underwear and shorts to the side, lubricating the tip of his member with your slick. You press your lips against Thoma’s lips, letting out a quiet gasp when his penis breaches your walls. Thoma digs his nails into your waist, letting his cock sink further into your heat until he was balls deep inside of your hole.
Thoma slowly pulls out your entrance, leaving only the tip of his cock inside of you before ramming it deep inside of you. You bite down on Thoma’s shoulders to muffle your cries, Thoma groans and begins to hammer his cock in and out of you repeatedly. The tip of Thoma’s cock was ramming your cervix with each thrust; you could see fireworks and stars dance behind your closed eyelids. 
Your head rolls back, your tongue lolls out of your mouth, your walls clenching around his cock with each thrust. Every time Thoma plunges his cock right back into your sopping wet hole, the walls of your entrance would squeeze around Thoma. Your inner thighs and Thoma’s pubic bone and lower abdomen would be coated in your slick each time he thrusts upwards into your awaiting cavern.
A deep groan comes from Thoma, “Fuck, baby. You’re so tight, and you feel so good around my cock.” Thoma pants; he leans down and nibbles on your bottom lip. “If I can spend the rest of my life buried deep inside of you, I would do it in a heartbeat.” Thoma grunts, thrusting deep into your entrance while rubbing his pubic bone against yours, making you jolt and shudder in Thoma’s grasp. You can feel your orgasm approaching by the feeling of the silky walls of your hole clenching and unclenching around Thoma’s thick cock.
You bite down on your lips, letting out a weak whine as you lightly pull at his blond hair, “Thoma, please, please. I want to cum.” You whispered, tugging at his black shirt as you rubbed your hips against his, trying to find relief. The already forming coil in your lower abdomen was beginning to feel unbearable. 
“Cum on my cock, baby.” Thoma groans; he has an iron grip on your waist as he forces you up and down on his cock, pistoning his throbbing member in and out of your entrance at a brutal pace. 
You let out a shaky sob, feeling your orgasm hit you like an angry boar. Your vision went white for a brief second before you came to your senses, feeling your hole convulse around Thoma’s cock, coating his cock with your slick. Thoma quickly pulls his cock out of you, turns you around, and bends you over on the shelf before shoving his cock deep inside your entrance. You let out a choked gasp and cry; you cover your mouth with your hands, your eyes rolling to the back of your head from the massive wave of pleasure washing over you as Thoma continues to thrust inside of you.
“I’m going to breed this pretty little hole of yours. Do you want that?” Thoma breathes, his chest pressed up against your back as he thrusts forward. 
You let out a squeal and nod your head, your head falling back on Thoma’s shoulders. Thoma tightens his grip around your waist and snakes his right hand up to your neck, sending one last thrust before cumming deep inside your entrance. Both you and Thoma panted, going limp against one another. Thoma pulls his now flaccid cock out from your heat, sighing in relief. You shuddered when you felt the mixture of your and Thoma’s cum drip out of your hole and onto your underwear.
You pouted and leaned against Thoma, trying to calm your racing heart. “I wish we could go on a bit longer.” You mumbled, playing with the accessories on Thoma’s person.
Thoma presses a kiss on your head, “I do too, sweetheart. But unfortunately, since both of us are preparing breakfast for everyone, we don’t have much time. But don’t worry, we can take our time next time, I promise.” He said, wiping the bead of sweat from your forehead with a small smile on his face.
You sigh, “You better keep that promise of yours, Thoma!” You said, tugging him down by his shirt collar, kissing his lips. 
Thoma smiles and kisses you back, “Don’t worry, [Y/N]. I always keep my promises.” Thoma states, deepening the kiss between the two of you. 
You and Thoma were able to clean the pantry up along with the smushed tomato off the floor of the pantry. Both you and Thoma opted to cook a mixture of breakfast from four different nations. You prepared the dining table, placing cutlery on the cloth napkins and filling teacups with tea. Thoma placed breakfast down in the middle of the table before calling both of the siblings to come to the dining table for breakfast. 
The four of you sat at the table, peacefully eating your breakfast. Your legs are still trembling from what you and Thoma have done in the pantry, and you’re just hoping that neither of the Kamisato siblings notices the way your legs would shake when you walk or stand in one place. You sat next to Ayaka while the two men sat across from you and Ayaka, silently eating their breakfast while occasionally trading small talk with each other.
“So!” Ayaka speaks up, looking over at you. “What are your thoughts on being in Thoma’s shoes for today so far?” Ayaka asks, lifting her teacup to her lips and blowing on the hot liquid before taking a small sip from it.
You sighed, “I don’t know how Thoma does it! I could barely get up this morning, and I’m still feeling tired.” You said, looking over at Thoma.
Thoma shrugs his shoulders, “You’d get used to it! I have been a housekeeper for the Kamisato Estate for quite a while now! It takes some time to get used to it.” Thoma says, scooping up the rice with his spoon.
“[Y/N]....” Ayato says slowly. You look over at Ayato before tilting your head to the side with curiosity. “You’re glowing today; have you noticed that?” Ayato asks, gazing at you curiously. 
Your eyes widen slightly, “Oh? I am?” You pressed both of your hands up against your face, eyebrows narrowing with puzzlement. You look over at Ayaka, whose eyes light up, and she nods her head in response. She places her teacup down before turning over to you; she cups your face in both of her hands while analyzing your face closely. Sometimes she would turn your head to the side to get a closer look.
“I always knew that you are beautiful, [Y/N], but today is different! It’s like your beauty is shining through even more!” Ayaka says.
You brushed her off and laughed shyly, “Oh, please, Ayaka! You’re stroking my ego there.” You said, feeling your face grow hot under Ayaka, Ayato, and Thoma’s gaze. “I think the amount of sleep I got last night is what’s causing me to glow.” You cleared your throat, hoping that they— mainly Ayaka, would believe your little lie.
“I’m thinking about taking a break from the paperwork for today and choosing to relax for the day,” Ayato speaks up, leaning back in his seat, his arms crossed over his chest. “The amount of documents I have to sign is a bit overwhelming, so I have chosen to take a break from them. Although I was able to complete the majority of them, unfortunately, the more I complete them, the more documents will show up out of thin air.” Ayato sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“As long as you give yourself a break, relaxing is a great way to destress and not overwork yourself!” You said, lifting the teacup to your lips and blowing on the steaming hot tea. “I remember I overworked myself so much to complete four different university assignments that I burned myself out. I could barely get myself to focus; all I wanted to do was to cry because of the amount of stress I was feeling.” 
“Sounds like you need to take a trip to the bathhouse down in Inazuma City!” Thoma says, giving you a small smile.
You sighed and nodded your head in agreement, “I do! But we have a bathhouse back at the abode.” You said, sipping the warm tea.
Ayaka looks at you curiously, “What is your university like?”
You placed the teacup down, “It’s huge and beautiful! But the amount of stress that I have garnered over the last two years has driven me insane.” You scratched your head, face pinching up when the realization hits you. “Oh dear archons, I’m going to be in debt once I complete university. Can you believe it? I’ll be almost forty thousand dollars— er, I meant forty million mora in debt, and I’m only in my twenties.” You chuckled while Ayaka looked at you in horror, almost dropping her teacup.
“You sound stressed out. I believe that after breakfast, we should all go down to the bathhouse to relax.” Ayato says.
Ayaka sighs in defeat, “As much as I would love to go, I have a meeting with Guuji Yae at Yae’s Publishing House about the upcoming festival in Inazuma.” Ayaka frowns, her shoulders slumping with disappointment.
You placed a gentle hand on Ayaka’s shoulders, “It’s okay, Ayaka! Hopefully, the next time we hang out, it’ll be at the upcoming festival you mentioned!” You said, giving the light-blue-haired girl a small smile.
Ayaka’s eyes lit up, “I would love that! Let’s go to a festival together in the future!” Ayaka chimes, giving you a wide smile.
After breakfast, you and Thoma cleaned up the table, washed the dishes, and placed them back in the cabinets. Ayaka left the estate with one of the servants, leaving you, Ayato, and Thoma almost alone at the Kamisato Estate. Since everyone was technically dressed for the day, the three of you went to the waypoint outside of the Kamisato Estate. You three teleported to Inazuma City, where the famous bathhouse, named Aisa Bathhouse, is located. You three stepped into the bathhouse, satisfied to see that it was empty. Great! Not only are you alone with your two boyfriends, but you won’t have to worry about seeing strangers roaming around the bathhouse in their birthday suits.
You couldn’t help but feel anxious about going to the bathhouse with Ayato and Thoma, mainly because you know that both Ayato and Thoma are dangerous when they’re together. It’s like they are always scheming something when they’re in the same room as each other. You, Ayato, and Thoma end up parting ways to go to your designated changing room close to the entrance of the bathhouse.
After stripping off your clothes, you put on the silky black robe and fluffy slippers and placed your clothes and shoes in a small locker before walking out of the changing room. You stepped into the main lobby of Aisa Bathhouse and almost automatically spotted Ayato and Thoma standing in the middle of the hall, waiting for you to show up. Both of them had white and blue towels wrapped around their waist, which you noticed were dangerously low at their hips.
“And there they are!” Thoma says as you approach where the two stand. “Are you ready to take a nice dip in the bathhouse to cool off some steam? I know you need it with all the stress you’ve accumulated over the last two years at your university.” Thoma says, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.
You nod your head, “I am! It’s very much needed since my time at the bathhouse back at the abode has been interrupted many times.” You said, narrowing your eyes slightly as you thought back to the time when the men interrupted your time at the bathhouse.
“How rude of them to interrupt you and your time at the bathhouse back at the abode!” Ayato says, fighting the urge to smile after knowing that he was one of the people that interrupted your peaceful dip back at the teapot. You grumbled and let the duo guide you to where the hotspring was located.
“Don’t bathhouses usually separate the patrons by gender?” You murmured, scratching the back of your head when you three stepped into the men’s section of the bathhouse.
“Oh, they do! But they let us have special access for today.” Thoma says, patting the top of your head as he continues to lead you toward the hotspring. “Now, we can all relax in the same room without people interrupting us and without any responsibility looming over our heads!” Thoma chirps happily.
“If we get into the hotspring, everyone better have their backs turned because I don’t want anyone to see me naked, nor do I want to see any of you naked!” You huffed.
Ayato laughs, “Whatever makes you happy.” He pinches your cheeks lightly.
The last thing you remembered was stripping off your robe, putting them on the hanger, and dipping your feet into the hotspring while Ayato and Thoma were waiting for you with their hands covering their eyes. You thought you were going to be able to finally relax in the hotspring, releasing your stress and letting the tension in your body melt away.
But instead, here you are: two cocks buried deep inside of your entrance while Ayato had his hands covering your mouth to prevent the sound of your whines and moans from echoing in the bathhouse. Thoma’s face was buried into the crook of your neck, sucking and leaving marks on your neck and chest while Ayato fondled your chest. You are sitting on Ayato’s lap, your back pressed against his chest, while Thoma stands in front of the two of you, pinning you against Ayato’s chest. The burning stretch you’re feeling in between your legs was almost unbearable; you knew that the human body could do unthinkable things, but you didn’t think that you would be able to withstand having two different dicks stuffing the same hole at once. You flinched when Ayato moved, causing Thoma to move, both of their cocks rubbing against each other inside of your heat.
“Take it easy! I’m still trying to adjust to the both of you!” You whined, lightly hitting both Ayato and Thoma’s shoulders, head resting on Ayato’s shoulders.
“We’ll be gentle; no need to fret,” Ayato says, turning your head to the side before connecting his lips with yours. Thoma rolls his eyes before sending a sharp thrust, causing you to break the kiss with Ayato and writhe in your spot.
“Thoma! I thought you were going to take it easy!” You whined, pulling at his damp blond hair.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’ll be gentle next time.” Thoma coos, leaning down to kiss your pouty lips before cupping your face in his hands.
Ayato huffs, “I believe that now is a good time to start moving. We don’t have all day, and quite frankly, I believe that the owner of Aisa Bathhouse wouldn’t like it if we stayed past our intended time.” Ayato says, reaching down and beginning to rib at the tiny pearl of nerves between your legs. You jolted and dug your nails into Ayato and Thoma’s biceps, trying your best to keep the noises down.
“Yes, please, just fuck me already! We don’t have all day.” You whined, biting down on your lips while keeping your eyes shut.
“It’s unfortunate how we always have to rush our activities, trying not to get caught in the act.” Ayato sighs in defeat, Thoma nodding his head in agreement.
Ayato and Thoma simultaneously pulled their cocks out from inside of you before ramming their cocks inside of you at once. The hot water in the hotspring provided extra lubricant, making it easy for the two to plunge their dicks inside of you at a different pace. While Ayato was rubbing the tiny nerve between your legs, Thoma kept your legs spread wide open while he and Ayato piston their pulsing, stiff member in and out of your entrance.
You clawed Thoma’s back and gasped out loud when Thoma hit your cervix; Thoma smiled in satisfaction. Ayato glares at Thoma before repeating Thoma’s actions, the bulbous tip of his cock striking your cervix. You squealed loudly; both Thoma and Ayato immediately reached up and covered your mouth with their hands, their eyes wide.
“Be quiet! We’ll get caught if you continue to moan, squeal, whine, and whimper out loud!” Thoma whispers, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
“H-How can I be quiet when the both of you are fucking my cervix!?” You hissed behind their hands, glaring at the two men that are balls deep inside of you. 
“Hey, Ayato.” Thoma says thoughtfully, rubbing his pubic bone between your legs.
Ayato raised an eyebrow at Thoma, “What is it, Thoma?” He sighs, continuing to thrust upward.
“Between you and me, who do you think will be the first one to get [Y/N] to cum?” Thoma asks innocently. “I believe that it’ll be me,” Thoma adds.
Ayato narrows his eyes at Thoma, “I believe that you’re wrong, Thoma. I will be the first one to get [Y/N] to cum, not you!” Ayato huffs, picking up the pace of his thrusts.
“Oh? It sounds like a competition, My Lord!” Thoma chuckles, giving Ayato an amused look. Ayato and Thoma locked gazes with each other for a moment, their thrusts coming to a stop. As if they were mentally communicating, they nod their heads at each other. You didn’t have much time to react when Thoma and Ayato began to ram their penises into you simultaneously. You let out a loud wail, writing in their grasp. At this point, Ayato and Thoma could barely give a shit about you letting out loud cries with each thrust. They were mainly focused on being the first ones to get you to cum around their cocks.
“Guys! Slow down! I’m going to cum!” You whine, your face scrunching up in pleasure when your impending release is fast approaching. Ayato and Thoma smirked at one another, continuing to drive their cocks deep inside of your heat. The tight coil in your stomach suddenly snaps, you clench down around both Ayato and Thoma’s dicks, your vision goes white, and you let out a loud cry. Ayato and Thoma groan in unison, filling your entrance to the brim with their thick ropes of cum. You lay in Ayato’s arms, limp and exhausted.
“So, who won?” Thoma breathes, looking up at you and Ayato. “I believe that I came out as the victor in the end!” Thoma boasted, his and Ayato’s cock still stuffed inside of you.
“You? The victor? How absurd! It is I that came out as the victor in the end, not you, Thoma.” Ayato huffs, tightening his grip around your waist.
“Do I hear a challenge for round two?” Thoma asks, narrowing his eyes at the head of the Kamisato Clan.
Ayato chuckles, “It seems so.” Ayato stated.
“Wait!” You perked up in Ayato’s arms. “There’s no way we’re going for another round in the bathhouse! Surely we have already spent our time here too long!” You exclaimed.
Before Ayato and Thoma could speak up, the doors of the hotspring opened up, revealing the owner of Aisa Bathhouse. When the door fully opened, the man’s jaws dropped to the ground at the sight in front of him. He was white as a ghost and pointed at the three of you in horror.
“Oh no.” You, Ayato, and Thoma said, looking at the man in fear and embarrassment. It seems like the three of you did end up getting caught in the act, and it seems like you, Ayato, and Thoma are most likely banned from Aisa Bathhouse for life.
Note: Goddamn, I'm pretty sure this part will be the only part in the Crave "series" that will be over 10k words long. I didn't plan for Crave 4 to be 15k words in total, to be honest. I'm just hoping that my skills in smut will improve because I'm just staring at it like 🧍🏻‍♀️ because most of the time, I don't know how to feel about the smuts that I type out 💀 Idk how long this overall "series" is going to go on for, to be honest 🤔 Anyway! As I have said in my past posts, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Taglist for "Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader" and my overall taglist (will be making a new taglist form very soon): @xxkatsusjinsux, @huboi, @plumpkie, @crazyrichdaughter, @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff, @patata52, @honeybedo, @thedivinepriestress, @pencil-of-ashes, @samarill, @bakuhve, @yukima, @chaosinanutshell, @emperatris-rinaka, @neilify, @ksjjkthpjm, @jaisithebird, @mouchie, @emerald-smile, @jixlem, @bananazzzen, @thelost-in-time, @kryloxen, @ayolk, @tomansimp, @lordbugs, @c-camellias, @chihawari, @lilliansstuff, @zhongloml, @sweethcnvy, @wolf-chan2134, @simp4-fictional-men, @dai-tsukki-desu, @trash-queen-af, @tamayakii, @spo0k-mxchii, @hispasian-otaku, @stygianoir, @crispynutduck (if you have not been tagged, it's because you have your settings turned off for people to tag you in posts)
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missmaywemeetagain · 1 year
Text
Pink Scarf - PART 18.2 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)
Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)
Requested: kinda
(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)
Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years.  [ Fem!Reader ]
TW: Sex. SO MUCH ANGST. Medication/drug use/overdose. Dub con (sort of?). References to medical trauma, miscarriage, infertility. Blood. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.  
Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact)        ||     Word Count: 16.3k (LOLOLOLOLOL)
A/N: Y'ALL, I'M SO SORRY, it's a monstrosity. I couldn't help it. There was just so much to be said while still in E's POV, so that's how we ended up here, over 16k. But we finally learn Elvis' BIG SECRET and experience the mighty fallout from that in his eyes, so hopefully it's worth it. This is my Thanksgiving gift to all of you, but you may want to pace yourselves. I feel like I had to rip my heart out a little bit to really get in E's headspace. Prepare yourselves emotionally. That's all I will say.
A quick note about the pictures...the first is actually from when he bought Graceland in March 1957 and it just works PERFECTLY for the beginning. I couldn't resist the pics from Red West's wedding in 1961, even though I know the timeline and the people don't match but the VIBES, the VIBES my friends, are oh so Jack and Reader's wedding so I just had to include them. The one for 1960 was taken the night of the Rollerdome. *sob*
If you so desire, you should now have the ability to tip my blog or different chapters in the story! Some of you have been asking about this, and of course, no one is obligated to do so! If you do choose to tip, thank you so much! I've never had anyone want to pay for my work before, so this is a big step towards my romance novelist dreams. 💜
Speaking of Thanksgiving, I am so FREAKIN' GRATEFUL for every single one of you babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY which is always evident but especially so when someone tried to steal PS last week and y'all went 'ride or die' for me instantly, without question, getting it taken down in record time. I didn't in a million years expect this kind of support and response for Pink Scarf, and your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments you've given me have been a blessing beyond expression. You all are the best community a writer could ask for! Thank you so much for your support. I am loving getting to know y'all better! I love every single reaction and comment and ask, and I'm sorry if I don't get back to them all as soon as I'd like but know that I love you all and am so excited to be making new friends! And a big "Hey, Y'all!" to our friends from Elvis Twitter, Elvis Discord, and Elvis Instagram--I see and appreciate you coming over to join us! 👀💋
If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks)! I think I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues or if I missed anyone. There seem to be some issues with tagging that I can't seem to fix, so please know I'm not leaving you out intentionally! Also, if you comment on a previous part that you want to be tagged, I might not always see it, so feel free to message me if I miss you!
I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat! 
Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch. 
(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my AO3 account, as well as my NEW Wattpad account. so if you are so inclined, you can check it out/support me over there with kudos and votes and whatnot!)
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(Elvis in March 1957, Graceland)
March 1957
Elvis parks in front of your house, his mind whirling with noise. He’s not exactly sure how he ended up here, but as soon as he’d gotten off that train, he knew he needed something that he couldn’t get from any of the guys or even his mama. So, he finds himself unexpectedly here.
Turning off the car, he seeks any sort of relief from the heartache he feels. He’s been holding it all in since the train stop in New Orleans, the one that sent the world crumbling under his feet, destroying the pretty picture he’d had for the future. But all that is gone now and here he sits, hands tapping on the steering wheel with nervous energy.
He nods to himself, finally leaping out of the car, and then he saunters down the walkway to the front door. The chime of the doorbell can be heard through the door, and he listens carefully, grateful to hear light footsteps from beyond.
When you open the door, it’s like he can breathe again for the first time since the train pulled away in New Orleans. You look surprised to see him, those big eyes of yours widening the slightest before you speak.
“Elvis, you’re home?” you ask with a hint of confusion, but overall, you seem pleased at finding him on your doorstep.
“Just got in, baby,” he says, that boyish smile curving up. He gathers you up into a big bear hug and instantly feels better as he breathes in the unique scent of your shampoo and lingering perfume. A scent that feels like home.
“And you came right here?” you ask, brow furrowing when he pulls away. He notices that you look a bit worn around the edges, darker circles rimming your eyes as if you haven’t been sleeping well.
You’re right to be confused. Of course, he hadn’t planned to see you right away. He’d planned to sweep June off her feet in New Orleans, wanting to show her Graceland immediately, the home he’d thought they’d share together for the rest of their lives. But all that had been dashed as soon as she’d blurted out that she was engaged to another man. Engaged. His June.
“I want to show ya something,” he blurts out instead of saying any of this. “It’s a surprise! Will ya come?” Oh, god, you have to come, he thinks. His heart might shatter if you don’t, though he’s not exactly sure why. You’re not his—you and Jack have been dating for nearly a year—so it’s not as though if you don’t come that it really means anything. Yet, still he hopes. He needs this. He needs to share this moment with someone he cares about.
Despite the fatigue in your eyes, you nod quickly, and then as if you can’t leave the house fast enough, you grab your purse and coat and shut the door behind you without a word.
He smiles gratefully, and relieved, he grabs your hand and practically skips to the car. Once he has you tucked in safely, he runs around the front of the Cadillac, jumps in, and peels away. It’s not too far of a drive, and he yammers on about the last few months he’s been away, the words flying out of him. You nod and ask all the right questions, but he notices that you are pensive, quieter than usual.
His verbal diarrhea halts for long enough for his brain to take into account that you don’t seem your usual self, and he asks, “Are you okay?”
You look down at your hands and then out the window, as if contemplating if and how much to share, which makes him a little nervous. Your fingers twist in your lap.
“Honestly? It’s been a hard few weeks, E,” you finally say, still unable to meet his eyes. “My nana passed last Tuesday.”
He’s mortified that he’d just been going on and on about himself and here you were dealing with such a loss. “Oh, darlin’, I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t know. I know how close you two were,” he says remorsefully, reaching his hand over to clasp one of yours.
You shake your head, sniffling back tears. “It’s okay, you’ve been away. There was no way for you to know. And I keep telling myself that she’s in a better place now, but that doesn’t really help all that much. I guess it still doesn’t seem real.”
He nods, because he can’t seem to think of anything to say that will make any of this better for you. “We can do this another time, baby, if you’re not feeling up to it,” he finally gets out.
“No, no. I need something to do instead of moping around the house. I’m worn from being sad and worrying about the rest of it. No, I’m glad you showed up, E. I can’t wait to see your surprise,” you add quickly, trying for a smile.
“The rest of it? What’re you so worried about, baby?” It’s obvious you don’t expect him to pick up on that because he sees the quick look of panic that flashes over your face at the question, so he’s quick to add, “I mean, you don’t hafta talk ‘bout it if ya don’t wanna, but I can tell somethin’ else is weighin’ on ya.”
“You could say that,” you sigh, raising your eyes to the roof and back down again. The twisting fingers are back. “God knows I haven’t been sleeping, and it’s giving me these terrible headaches.” You pinch the bridge of your nose for respite. “I…well, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to tell you, Elvis, because it’s about Jack, and I really don’t want him to think I’m running around telling everyone our business.”
A warning rush rolls over him at this because he suddenly and very desperately wants to know what has happened with Jack, and that is a dangerous game for all kinds of reasons, many of which he’s not ready to admit to himself.
“I swear and cross my heart I won’t say a word, if you wanna tell me,” he says instead, a little too eagerly, so he quickly adds, “If it’ll help ya feel better and all.”
He forces himself to watch the road and not you, but he can practically hear your mind whirring.
“Oh, fine, but not a word out of you to anyone, Elvis Presley, I mean it. I know how bad you are with secrets,” you glare at him.
“I promise, I promise!” he concedes, crossing his heart. “I swear on my mama!”
“Well, in the midst of all this with Nana, I found out that Jack was dating other women a while back while we were going together. Apparently, I thought we were exclusive, but he didn’t, and well…” you trail off bitterly.
Elvis has to bite his tongue and bite it hard because somehow this wasn’t what he expected, and oh, lord, he knows too much for comfort.
Thankfully, you take this as him listening intently, because you continue, “I know I shouldn’t be too mad at him. I suppose it’s an honest mistake, seeing as maybe we didn’t communicate clearly enough about where we stood with each other. But it was so obvious to me, and I don’t understand how it wasn’t obvious to him. It’s not like I was going around with other guys all the time! I know it was months ago, but damn if it doesn’t really sting. Part of me feels like such an idiot, you know? What else don’t I know about him and what he’s doing? It just makes it hard to trust him, even though he was truthful about it when I asked.” He can sense the conflict in you, as your voice fills and shakes with the emotion of your held-back tears.
His heart is beating fast now, and all he is seemingly able to do is nod furiously, as if agreeing vehemently with all you are saying. The problem is that Elvis is complicit in all this and you have no idea. You have no idea that he was the one who pushed the showgirls onto Jack when he came to visit him in Vegas in November. You have no idea that “dating” didn’t have much to do with it at all. And now he feels altogether shitty for being the one to put Jack in that position in the first place. He’d managed to spread his own unfaithfulness and debauchery right on over to Jack, and now you are the one paying for it.
Shit.
Although, knowing Jack, it’s also possible that there was other dating happening, too. Either way, Elvis knows he’s got to tread real careful here and needs to keep his trap shut.
But Elvis can’t stand that hurt look in your eyes when he dares to take his eyes off the road to glance at you. He hates how angry and sad you look, the blue-black circles under your eyes conveying your distress.
And his emotions feel complicated, too complicated for comfort. He suddenly wonders if he didn’t present Jack with those temptations on purpose because there is a very deep and selfish part of him that desperately wants you to kick Jack to the curb for this, and that terrible, selfish part of him wants you to finally see Elvis in the same way he sees you.
Maybe there’s a reason that things didn’t work out with June, that voice pokes at him hopefully.
Stop that shit right now.
All this is playing through his head and leaving him outwardly silent. He realizes he has to say something, anything, because you are waiting for him to do so.
“I-I’m sorry that happened, ‘specially finding out at the same time as all this with your Nana. W-What are you gonna do about Jack?” he says, trying not to gulp.
He watches your eyes narrow and then he quickly looks back at the road. He can feel you shift in your seat.
“I…well, right now, I wanna pummel his brains out, so I told him I need some space to figure out what I want to do. I just—I thought we…” you trail off dismally. “I don’t want to go through this again,” you add quietly.
Elvis knows you are talking about Ted. Stupid Teddy who stepped out and got Judy Cole knocked up and then left you brokenhearted in his wake. It still pisses him off, even though he knows he’s got no right to judge Ted, not now, not after all the foolin’ around he’s done.
But when it comes to you, he can’t help but be protective. It’s in his bones, the way he wants to take care of you. In fact, he wouldn’t mind punching Jack in the face right about now for hurting you like this. And he’s even more pissed at himself for his part in it all.
Elvis just wants you to be happy and to be with a man who deserves you, and deep down, he doesn’t know if that man is Jack, even though he loves Jack like a brother. But the real problem is he’s not sure if he thinks any man will ever be good enough for you.
But his brain is wary to dwell on the meaning of that, wanting to avoid anything else that feels uncomfortable, so instead, he lets the excitement of showing you his new home overshadow any other unwanted feelings he might be experiencing.
“Okay, baby, we’re almost there, so close your eyes,” he says excitedly, changing the subject abruptly, before pulling up the long drive.
“Alright, Elvis, this better be a big surprise with how hyped up you are,” you chuckle, letting the mood turn by doing as you are told.
“The biggest,” he breathes, sliding to a stop in front of the Colonial mansion. “Don’t open your eyes yet! I’ll come around!”
You wait until you hear the car door open and feel his hand take yours. He gently brings you out of the car to standing, an excited energy vibrating through him.
“Okay, darlin’, open!” he drawls dramatically.
You do, blinking out the early Spring sunlight. He watches your face light up as you take in the architecture.
“Oh my god, Elvis, it’s beautiful,” you say in awe. “Is it yours?”
“Yes, baby, it’ll be all mine very soon. And for Mama and Daddy, of course,” he adds hastily, as if you’d thought he’d abandon his parents.
“Of course,” you smile, looking at him with those pretty, though tired, eyes of yours. “Can we go inside?” you ask.
All he can do is nod excitedly. Elvis takes your hand, pulling you up the steps and past the huge white columns on either side. He can’t unlock the door fast enough, the keys rattling and shaking in his hands. Once inside, he pulls you through the house, mouth running a mile a minute about what he wants to do in each room, how he wants it to look.
Finally, you make it to the top level, the last room. “This is gonna be my bedroom,” he rambles on. “I’m gonna get the biggest bed you’ve ever seen in your life, made special.”
You gently pull your hand out of his, and he watches as you take a small pill bottle out of your purse and pop two of the pills before downing them dry. Aspirin, probably, for the headache you were talking about in the car.
“E, stop a minute,” you say. “This is all amazingly wonderful and beautiful, and I am so excited for you, but…well, what exactly am I doing here?” You look at him with curious and concerned eyes.
“I…uh…I…,” he stammers, unsure of what to say or how to say it, as it’s all been spinning inside for hours and hours. He looks away, unable to meet your eyes. He certainly doesn’t want to put any of his stuff onto you, not now, not after what you told him earlier. His hands fall to his sides, and he shakes them, wiggling his fingers like he does to come down after a show. It doesn’t help. There’s just too much emotion rolling through him all the sudden.
You step to him, first putting your hands on his shoulders, then you run them gently down his arms before grabbing his flailing hands, absorbing some of that wild energy. The feeling still manages to send little electric shocks through him, even after all this time. Only then does he finally still and dare to look at you.
“E, what’s wrong? You let me talk earlier, so why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?” you ask, your eyes searching his, open and concerned. He should’ve known you’d see right through him. Maybe that’s why you’re here, because he knew you’d understand, that you’d be able to tell he wasn’t okay when no one else cared to.
It takes a moment for him to gather his words as his emotions get in the way. Emotions he stoically hid from the guys the rest of the way to Memphis. Emotions he pushed down when he saw his mama because he just couldn’t bear to break her heart yet with the news. God, he’s spent so much time recently learning how to hide everything real about himself in order to become the man everyone wants him to be. But here, now, with you, it all begins to overflow.
“I-I-I told June to meet me in New Orleans. I-I w-w-was gonna bring her back here, to show her w-what I-I wanted to buy…for us,” he says, bouncing on his toes, tears welling and clouding his vision. He hates how it’s tearing him in two to say this.
You squeeze his hands, urging him to continue, and for you, he does.
“But when I-I got there, she was acting so strange. There w-wasn’t much time and, uh, she told me she’s engaged to someone else.” He blinks and the tears run over, finally spilling down his cheeks. Saying it out loud suddenly makes it feel all too real. His chest aches with betrayal, with loss.
You look at him with such care, though you do not look shocked at this news.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, E. I know you how much you loved her,” you say, squeezing his hands again gently.
‘Loved.’ As in past tense.
“Did you know?” he asks suddenly, stepping back, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
You take a conscious deep breath. “No, I didn’t. But she did call me a few times wondering where you were, if you were okay. She said she hadn’t heard from you in months…” you say awkwardly, petering off.
“Aw, shit,” he curses, running a hand through his greased hair. A wave of anger rolls through him, burning him from the inside, but as much as he wants to put it on June and her spiteful engagement, he knows the anger is mostly towards himself. He fucked up. He fucked around. And he’d expected June to just sit back and wait for him while he did it. He didn’t even make the time to call her.
And you know what he’s done. He can see it on your face. He looks down, unable to meet your eyes.
You don’t speak. You don’t lay into him or tell him he’s an asshole, although it might be better if you did. God knows he’s already thinking it. You just look at him with sadness and understanding and forgiveness, even though he doesn’t deserve it.
With that ache in his heart, he finally realizes that he couldn’t have loved June the way he said he did and then leave her hanging like that. But he did love her…at least, he had. They’d had such a beautiful summer together and he was sure he wanted to marry her, once his fame was settled. Three years, he’d told her.
Shit, I didn’t even make it six months, he thinks absently.
And then everything changed almost overnight. His fame exploded. There was Hollywood, then Vegas. And the girls, good god, there were so many beautiful girls who wanted him, needed him, who threw themselves at him. He’d been weak. He hated being alone. He couldn’t help it. It was just sex, he’d told himself, just a way to blow off steam as his world became smaller and smaller and nearly suffocated him. A thousand excuses run through his head, but in the end, it was his choice not to pick up the phone. It was his choice to screw around, to live this life.
It’s no wonder that June moved on, he thinks. I’m a first-rate asshole.
“Y/n, I messed it all up,” Elvis finally chokes out. The sob fully breaks the dam holding him together, the pressures of his fame and the realization hitting him like a truck: he is never going to be able to have that normal life with a wife and kids he’d once dreamed of. His knees buckle under the weight of all of it—his decisions, both good and bad, the fame he doesn’t know what to do with, the unexpected consequences of this privileged but isolating life he’s chosen.
He sinks to his knees, defeated, on the carpet of his future bedroom, the one he’ll probably never share with someone who loves him for who he truly is. Because he isn’t just Elvis Aron Presley anymore—he is “Elvis Presley,” the celebrity, the commodity, the fantasy.
While he relishes in the luxuries of it all, in being able to provide the life his family deserves, a small part of him cannot help but feel like he’s made a deal with the devil. That this talent he has been blessed with will also be the thing that damns him. He is overcome by the feeling that he’ll never know ever again if he is loved for who he really is, or if it is his fame and his image they love. And there is something about that that crushes his soul.
But he can’t say all this to you because it sounds dramatic and indulgent, and he knows there are very few people in this world who’d actually understand.  This is his cross to bear.
And yet you still comfort him. You are still here. “Oh, hon, I know. It’s okay, I know,” you say, kneeling down with him.
In the midst of all he’s achieved and gained these past few years, June is the representation of all that he stands to lose, all that he’s already lost. “She was my last chance, y/n. I’m never gonna be able to trust that a woman loves me for me and not for my fame after this. And I screwed it all up,” he says quietly, tears running freely. “I just feel so fucking alone.”
“Oh, that’s not true, Elvis, it’s not,” you say, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “You’ll find her, I know you will. And you have so many people who love you for just being you, not for the fancy cars or the mansion or the fame. You’ve got your family, you’ve got Jack and your true friends. And you’ve got me.”
The way you say it, so softly, yet so matter-of-fact hits him hard, so hard that his heart stops beating for a moment. If he wasn’t already kneeling, the honest way your tired yet beautiful eyes search his face might knock him right off his feet.
It’s you, it’s you, it’s always been you, he thinks suddenly. This is the feeling he was avoiding in the car. The feeling he’s been avoiding since he watched Jack kiss your cheek in the diner a year ago.
It takes his breath away. You take his breath away, you always have. He’s been enamored with you since you plowed into him all those years ago in the hallway at Humes High.
Suddenly, June is all but forgotten because you reach up, cupping his face in your cold little hands and wipe a tear off his cheek. He cannot help the way his eyelids flutter closed at the sensation of the pad of your thumb dragging softly across his face. His breathing, rapid from his cries is now labored for another reason entirely.
Opening his eyes slowly, he shouldn’t be shocked to see tears in yours, your grief and sorrow, not only for yourself, but for him, too, welling there, as if you are connected to him. In fact, Elvis feels like his brain is short-circuiting because you are too damn close and the tension in the room is suddenly so thick, he feels like he might suffocate.  
Every cell in his body feels on fire as you lean in closer and closer until your lips press against his forehead. You’ve never kissed him, not once in all these years, and this alone sends heat rushing through his young body. Then when you kiss his nose, and then one tear-stained cheek, he holds his breath, feeling like he might die from this chaste sensation.
Warning bells explode in his brain because suddenly he wants you more than anything in this world, always has. And now you are so close. This is Jack’s girl, he thinks, and she’s my dear friend. Don’t be an idiot.
But when you lean in to kiss his other cheek, you place your lips alarmingly close to his, his tears wet underneath your soft lips, and his body is on high alert as only a twenty-two-year-old’s could be. His heart flutters as you pull back just enough to look deeply into his eyes, tears shining in your own, and then you lean in once more.
This can’t be happening. This should not be happening, his mind screams, but then your lips are grazing his and all rational thought ceases to exist.
You taste so sweet.
Heat blooms through the ache in his chest, and in his disbelief, he freezes. Part of him wants to devour you whole, but he is terrified that if he moves, he might spook you and he cannot bear that.
His confusion is overridden when your hands, shaking but demanding, pull him closer. Your lips are soft and sure, and he cannot help but be swept away by them. He’s kissed so many girls, too many to count, all over the country, but not one has ever made him feel like this, like his heart is going to leap out of his damn chest.
But this is a betrayal of a monumental kind, for both of you. While he is no stranger to betrayal, he does not want this for you. As much as he wants you with every fiber of his being, he does not want to be the source of your regret or heartache. He’s already done enough in that regard already, though you don’t know it. Mustering up every ounce of his self-control, Elvis pulls out of your kiss.
“Y/n, baby, you don’t want this. I’m no good for you this way,” Elvis says in a hushed tone, his forehead resting against yours. “I-I can’t have you regretting me, I-I-I couldn’t bear it.”
You lean back the slightest bit, and he thinks you might be listening, reconsidering, making him feel mostly dismay but also a little relief. What he does not expect is for you to press your little pointer finger up against his lips, hushing him, as you stare into his eyes. It’s as though your soul is as weary and needy as his and it feels as though you see him, truly see him, which is a new feeling for him. This sends a welcoming shiver down his spine, and he knows that despite every scrap of logic and propriety he is trying to lean on, with you he is powerless.
When your finger drags down his lips, catching on the bottom one, it sends a bolt of pleasure straight to his groin. Yet still he resists (even though he wants more than anything to see where this is going), thinking you might realize your mistake, and this will all be over in an embarrassed, yet still salvageable, flash.
Instead, you very deliberately scoot closer, your knees bumping his on the carpet. You lean in again, your lips grazing his again with a yearning he cannot help but return in kind. It’s barely a kiss, but the intent is there and when you pull up, effectively opening your mouth to him, the way he can feel your warm breath mingling with his own has him struggling to control himself.
You are testing him, testing the waters, hesitant but somehow insistent at the same time. His long lashes flutter closed when your fingers brush his jaw then rake into his perfectly styled hair. But it’s when the tip of your tongue touches his, sending a hot shockwave through him, that he can stand it no longer and closes the gap between your mouths with a longing sigh.
Pressing his pliant lips to your yielding ones, he rolls his tongue softly but firmly against yours, earning him a quiet moan from you. This is like fuel on the fire, finally spurring him into action, and his hands fly to the back of your head, pulling you closer.
If there is one thing besides music that Elvis excels at and loves to do, it’s kissing. He plays with it the same way he plays a crowd, listening to you and adjusting his performance as necessary. The buzzy way it makes him feel, like every nerve is magnetic, is one of the only things in this world that is anything like how it feels for him to perform for an audience. He loves the way it makes him feel.
But kissing you is unlike anything Elvis has experienced before. It’s as though you are tuned to the exact same frequency, finding his rhythm immediately, adapting easily. The usual fumbling of people getting acquainted in this way does not seem to apply to the two of you, the ebb and flow so natural it’s as though you had done this with each other many times before.
But the passion of it stokes a fire that has been denied a long time. Intense heat crashes over him, sending tendrils of warmth through his limbs and deep into his belly. He drinks you in as deep as he can without being desperate, and oh how close he is to being desperate for you. His grief over June melts away the more he tastes you, and he wonders how he ever lived before having the taste of your lips on his.
It's all very dramatic and romantic, which he is both at heart. From just a few kisses, he suddenly knows that if he could kiss you and only you for the rest of his life, he would be a happy man indeed. This surprises him.
But what truly shocks him is when you lean so far into him that it pushes him over, his knees screaming a little, and he falls back into the wall with a thump. He scrambles backwards, maneuvering his long legs into a more comfortable seated position while you don’t even miss a beat or attempt to come up for air. And when you crawl into his lap, hoisting the flowing fabric of your dress up just enough so your warm, bare thighs are straddling his, his heart actually flies right out of his goddamned chest.
Speaking of which, you are currently running your hands down his, pulling his silky shirt up enough to dance your fingertips over his stomach. His breath hitches then hisses at that, his arms involuntarily encompassing you, large hands splaying across your back to draw you ever nearer.
And you go willingly, inching up his lap until you are straddling his hips. When you grind down into his lap, he thinks he might’ve died and gone to heaven, his blue eyes rolling back into his head with a low moan.
He'll admit he’s dreamed of this, fantasized about this, but nothing could truly prepare him for the reality of the way you are making him feel. A trickle of attraction that began six years ago is now a roaring river, and is so, so much more than anything he’s felt before with anyone else.
He doesn’t understand it. He loves women. He always falls in love too fast, enjoying the rapid descent into the madness of it all. There have only been a few that he feels were true, though every girl he’s with, he loves in his own way.
But you are not like any of them, not at all. With you, it has been slow, so gradual sometimes that he didn’t even realize it. A teenage crush turned into friendship, and within that has blossomed a love that he didn’t know he was capable of. It is not until this very instant that he realizes it truly for what it has become. He doesn’t just care for you. He loves you.
He is in love with you.
Fuck.
Realizing this as your hips begin to rock steadily over his crotch is not the best timing. He’s as hard as a rock, fighting both the swell of his physical need for you while wrestling with the emotional needs he’s quickly realizing at the same time.
If he didn’t love you, he might not care if this is just a quick fuck between friends, but he does care. And he’s worried about where this is coming from, likely your overall grief and your anger at Jack. No, he doesn’t like the messiness of that at all.
But another grind of your pelvis into his, coupled with your tongue down his throat has the physical quickly taking over any and all rational thought. He wants you, more than he’s ever wanted anyone. And he desperately wants to give you what you need, which based on the mewls escaping your lips, is a physical release, a connection.
God, he can feel the wet heat of your cunt now through your panties and his pants as you slide over his length, back and forth, again and again. He clings to you as your hands wind through his hair, burying his head in your neck, his lips taking in as much of your skin as he can. He revels in the scent of you, your perfume and your irresistible musk that is permeating the room. He is positively dizzy with it.
You are frantic in his lap now, chasing something he’s not entirely sure you’ve ever had. He knows about Ted, but he highly doubts Ted knew what to do with you. And with Jack, well, he’s not sure how far the two of you have gone, but he can only guess based on Jack’s recent actions and your desperation for no one to know that Ted had popped your cherry that you’ve been trying to be good and pure and wait.
But as you reach for his belt, pawing at him, for the first time in this whole event, he gets the distinct impression that you’re not sure what to do next, only that you are needy for something. And goddamn him, he is willing to give you what you need, but only if you really understand what it is you’re asking for.
“Wait, baby, just…wait,” Elvis pants, stilling your hips with one hand while grabbing the hand at his belt with the other. You whimper a little at the interruption, rolling your hips for emphasis, but despite the groan he can’t help, he’s having none of that.
“Baby, I need to know that you really want this,” he says, brushing your hair off your deliciously pink cheeks, your lips swollen from his kisses. He looks into your eyes, almost getting lost in them and forgetting what he set out to do. “You’re absolutely sure?”
“Yes,” you whisper, and then add, “Elvis, please,” in a begging tone that sets him completely aflame.
“Oh, damn, okay, baby, okay,” he breathes, barely able to contain himself with that. He’s only human, after all. He races to help you with his pants, pulling them over his hips and down his legs in record time, his erection springing free, precum already glistening the tip. You lift up on your knees, you move your panties aside, and touching the silky soft skin of his cock, you help him line up with your entrance. He can’t help but gasp at the feeling of your cool little fingers circling his shaft, losing it a little more when he feels how incredibly soaked you already are.
He can’t believe this is happening. It shouldn’t be happening. But all logic is gone from him, replaced by the sweetness of your mouth and the wetness of your pussy and his desperate need for whatever love you have to give him.
He watches as you bite your lip in concentration, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you try to take him in. You are incredibly tight around the sensitive tip of his cock, and he moans a little at the constriction. That’s when he knows for sure that no one else has touched you like this for a long time. You aren’t ready for him, not yet.
Reaching under your skirt, he deftly finds the delicate little bundle of nerves there and begins to work it ever so gently. He shifts his hips down, his cock regretfully released from your hold on it. Sliding his fingers through your folds (oh, god), he gently slips one finger into your tight heat, then two, allowing you to adjust around him before pumping them in and out. Your eyes go wide and you gasp with the intrusion, but then they flutter closed with a sigh, and then another, and another before your hips begin to rock again.
He watches you in your ecstasy, taking in every delectable reaction he can and committing it to memory. The way your brow scrunches and your mouth falls open into a little O. The feel of your thighs clenching around his hand as he massages and fingers your dripping pussy. Those alluring little breathy moans escaping your lips. Every part of you has him completely mesmerized and he knows it. He knows his mouth is agape and he is moaning softly right along with you. He is so aroused just by watching you, he feels like he could come without you even touching him.
“E, I need more…I need you,” you breathe with your eyes closed and brow concentrated, and oh sweet lord, those might be the best words in the English language with the way they come out of your mouth.
He is utterly unable to deny you this. He can’t even speak, he just pulls his fingers out of you, lifts your hips, and maneuvers his cock back to the place it wants to be most. And you are more ready for him now, your tightness yielding much more easily around the sensitive tip of him.
It’s in that moment, as you sink down ever-so-slowly onto him and he is enveloped by your wet heat, that Elvis realizes he is utterly ruined for any other woman, ever. They cannot and will not ever hold a candle to you. He should’ve known before. He should’ve stopped this while he still could. But as you finally settle in his lap, taking him in completely, your fingers relaxing and your eyes bright and glassy, he knows he is well and truly fucked in every way.
He kisses you deeply again and again, memorizing your mouth, as you begin to raise and lower yourself on his cock. You feel so good, so completely perfect, it’s as if you were made just for him. He is drunk on you, hands wandering your body, finding what makes you keen, and he’s unable to get enough of you.
But you are so needy and ready that unfortunately it doesn’t take very long of you riding him and him playing with your clit for you to begin falling apart at the seams. Based on your surprised gasps, he’s not sure you’ve ever come before, so he does his best to help you get there while holding on to his own release for dear life. You begin to shudder around him, clenching his length, and with a strangled moan you hit your peak. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, the way you are coming undone on top of him, around him, your eyelashes fluttering closed and then popping open, all wild-eyed and rosy cheeked as the hushed sound of his name falls out of your perfect mouth.
He's so fucking enraptured that his orgasm hits harder and faster than expected, chasing yours almost immediately, not giving him time to pull out like he should have. But he can’t bring himself to care because it’s all you. All he’s ever wanted or needed—it’s you.
Oh, sweet Christ, I love you, I love you, I love you, he chants in his mind as he follows you over the edge.
He clings to you, head pressed into your breasts as he pulses hard into your warmth with a grunt, then stays there as he comes down from the high. And then you are both gasping in the silence, and there is an air of disbelief that fills the room that the two of you just did that, together.
This is making love, he realizes suddenly. It must be, considering the incredibly overwhelming feelings he has for you that are pouring through him in unreasonable amounts. He never wants to let you go, not ever.
He pulls back enough to kiss you tenderly, lingering a little too long. There is a sinking, nearly unbearable feeling that this may never happen again, and it threatens to break him, so he pushes it as far away as it will go.
You press your forehead to his, silent, you still enveloping him as he eventually begins to soften inside you. Neither of you rushes to move. He cannot read what you are thinking and that makes him nervous.
“Are you okay?” he finally whispers, his thumb grazing your cheek.
You nod but say nothing.
“Okay, baby.”
You both sit there a while, simmering in what you have done, and he wishes you would say something, say anything at all to let him know what is going on in that head of yours. But you are quiet, unreadable.
Finally, you remove yourself from his lap and stumble your way into the ensuite bathroom to clean up.
Elvis runs a hand down his face, wiping away the mixture of salty tears and sweat that has collected there. He uses his handkerchief to wipe himself off and then puts himself back together. Blissed out in his refraction, he is so full of love for you that he almost can’t stand it. He thought he’d known love before, and perhaps he did, but this realization of love for you is so big that he doesn’t know what to do with it. God, he feels like with you by his side, he could conquer the damn world.
But you’re not his girl.
Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit.
His head falls back onto the wall with a thump.
Somehow, he’s both on top of the world and completely buried by it at the same time. You interrupt his thoughts, coming back in quietly and falling, exhausted, into his arms. He takes off his coat and puts it on top of you both. He can’t help but pull you closer, up into his lap, so your head rests against his chest. This is where you are supposed to be, he can’t help but think.
He knows the two of you need to talk about this. While he has been having his epiphany, he has absolutely no idea what you are thinking. He has no clue if you feel anything even close to what he feels for you. It is possible that all of this was just some sort of revenge on Jack, and that breaks his heart a little. And even if you did do it for that reason, you chose him. You felt safe enough with him to choose him.
But something deep inside him tells him it isn’t just that, not with the way you kissed him, not with the way he felt like his damn soul was connecting with yours. That deep connection he’s always felt to you, it can’t possibly be one-way.
But what if it is? a worried little voice creeps in.
He wants to ask you, but he looks down and sees you passed out on his chest. Fatigue begins to hit him, as he hasn’t slept in over a day.
It’s not long before he, too, falls into an exhausted slumber.
*
He’s not sure how long you sleep, but when he wakes, the sun has moved and the room is nearly dark. Disoriented, it takes a moment for him to realize that it’s you in his arms, and when he remembers why, his cheeks flame with heat.
Oh. Oh.
Drowsy, he rubs his eyes with one hand, trying to wake up. As the memories of your lovemaking resurface, his heart beats faster, and he knows the moment you wake you will both have to face what you’ve done. You’ll have to decide what comes next. And more than anything, the hopeful little voice inside him realizes that he wants to share this all with you—that’s why it is you he brought to Graceland today, and why it was so important to him that you like it.
“Y/n, honey, wake up,” he says quietly, not wanting to shock you awake, but you don’t even stir. He shifts under you, hoping that might get you moving, but you just lie there.
“Hey, baby, it’s time to wake up,” he says at full voice now, but you remain still, too still, and silent.
His heart starts to pound. Something isn’t right.
“Y/n! Honey, I need you to wake up!” He is getting frantic now, his hand gently tapping your face, which feels too cold. But still, you do not wake.
“Fuck. Fuck! Y/n, wake up!” He shakes you. Panic and confusion roll over him as he tries to figure out why you are knocked out. His sleep-addled brain runs through what happened before you both fell asleep, before you made love.
Her headache, he thinks. She took pills for her headache.
He had thought they were aspirin, but as he frantically rummages through her purse, pulling out the little prescription bottle, he reads “Percodan, one tablet every 6 hours for pain and sleep relief” on the label.
Elvis swears you took two tablets, not one, way too much for a girl your size. You hadn’t read the bottle.
Shit.
Having been in Hollywood, he knows that this happens. People overdose from taking these narcotics, usually to get high, but he knows that you did it on accident. Based on how full the bottle is, he’s guessing that you maybe hadn’t even taken the meds before today.
Regardless, he’s not taking any chances with you. There’s no phone hooked up at the house, so with his adrenaline now working overtime, he lifts your unconscious form and quickly carries you to the car. He peals out, driving to Baptist Memorial Hospital as fast as he possibly can.
The those few hours are some of the most terrifying of his life.
He bites every nail down to the quick in that waiting room, pacing there as your family sits, equally worried. He can’t help but feel that they are judging him for letting this happen, even though it was an accident.
He can’t bring himself to call Jack.
Guilt eats away at him, even though he knows he had no idea about the pills, but if he hadn’t fallen asleep, maybe he would’ve realized sooner that something was wrong. Part of him feels like this is punishment for his sins, for what he let happen in the house. He prays and prays to God, harder than he’s ever prayed before.
Please, God, I love her. I can’t lose her. Do what you want to me, just let her be okay.
His prayers work.
You wake up. The doctors say you are going to make a full recovery. His heart nearly explodes with relief.
He offers to stay while your family goes home to get some rest. It is past visiting hours, but being Memphis’ own superstar, the nurses take pity on him and let him stay, as long as he doesn’t keep you awake.
When you finally stir, it’s the middle of the night.
“E—Elvis?” you croak. “What happened? Where am I?”
He sits up straight and leans forward to take your cold little hand in his. “Y/n! Oh, baby, you took too many of your headache pills and I couldn’t wake you up. You scared the hell outta me. You’re in the hospital, but you’re gonna be okay,” he whispers, squeezing your hand.
“Wake me up? Why—why was I asleep?” your brow furrows in confusion.
His heart drops into his stomach, dread like ice in his veins. He doesn’t want to ask, but he knows he must:
“What’s the last thing you remember, honey?”
Obviously still groggy, you close your eyes for a moment to think. “Um, I remember you picked me up and took me to…to your new house,” you say, then your eyes pop open, “You were showing me your beautiful new house, and then my headache got really bad, so I took some of my pills, and then…” You stop, looking at him blankly. “And after that, I don’t remember. You said I fell asleep?”
Oh, God, no. No, no, no. He feels like he’s going to vomit.
The force of his dread hits him like a tsunami as he runs through what happened in his head again. You took the pills first and then he told you about June and then you kissed him.
But you don’t remember. You don’t remember because you were accidentally fucking high.
“Elvis, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” you say.
“Sorry, baby, I-I-I was just really worried about you, is all. I-I guess it’s all kinda hittin’ me at o-once, now that you’re o-o-okay,” he says, unable to keep his voice from shaking, unable to keep from stuttering through the half-truth.
“Please, go get some rest, E. I’ll be fine. I’m so tired, I feel like I could sleep for days…” you say, drowsily, eyes fluttering closed.
“Okay, okay, baby, I will…Get some rest,” he says, kissing you on the top of your head as you drift back into slumber.
In a panicked daze, he manages to make it down the hallway and to the men’s room before his stomach rolls and he is violently sick into the toilet.
Oh, sweet Lord, he took advantage of you. You were drugged and didn’t know what you were doing, and he had sex with you.
He vomits again, tears running down his face.
I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I wouldn’t have ever let it happen if I’d known! I would never hurt her! the reasonable part of his brain cries out.
Shame eats at him from deep inside, cutting him. He deserves it.
How could he do this? How could he let this happen?
I should’ve known. I should’ve known the moment she kissed me that she wasn’t in her right mind.
But he didn’t, and what the hell does that say about him? He’s fucking selfish and he took something from you that you weren’t in your right mind to give.
He dry heaves, wanting desperately to expel his regret but knowing that he never will, not until the day he dies.
And what’s even worse is that he is still left with the fact that he is desperately in love with you. You don’t remember what, up until a few minutes ago, was one of the most amazing moments of his young life. You can’t share that with him. And that makes him feel even more selfish because the last thing he should be thinking of is his own damn feelings.
Sitting there on the cold floor, he tries to convince himself it’s for the best. It’s much less complicated for you this way. For you, there was no betrayal. For you, making love with him can never be a mistake you once made in a moment of anger and desperation. For you, there is only the love of friendship between you two.
Yes, it’s better this way, he thinks. He can carry the burden for both of you. He deserves to.
Because he knows he cannot give you what you need. He cannot be there for you, day in and day out, holding you tight and keeping you safe. Especially not now. Not after what he’s done.
He has to lock this away. You can never know, not ever. He must protect you from this and from his guilt. He knows you wouldn’t be able to look at him if you knew.
Oh, God. Please forgive me.
He can’t stop crying. He has to stop crying because he has to go out there and he has to look fine. He has to be fine, for your sake. You’re alive and going to be okay, and it’s that which he latches onto as a mantra in order to slide into the persona that has made his name.  
He manages to make it to the car without losing it again, as the dawn starts to break on another day. He can’t bring himself to go home; he can’t look his mother in the eye right now. So, he drives aimlessly, for hours, his sins eating away at him until he finds himself at the church.
He waits for Reverend Hamill in a pew, his thoughts dark and churning. This is just the straw that broke him, for he knows that since his fame began two years ago, he has fallen so very far. He has been self-centered and vain. He has fornicated and broken hearts and caused pain to those he claimed to love, all in the name of this new life of his. And he’s pushed his friends to do the same. His stupid, selfish actions have had a ripple effect that has completely ruined lives.
Not only had he driven June away and into the arms of another man, he’d played with your life and Jack’s as well. If he hadn’t pushed Jack to cheat, you would never have needed those pills in the first place. You almost died because he didn’t want to be alone in his debauchery, and he knows that some sick part of him pushed Jack to it because he wanted to sabotage your relationship.
Then he realizes that, on top of all that, he did another incredibly selfish and stupid thing. He came inside you, which means that you could be pregnant. And that would ruin you completely, and you wouldn’t even know why, you wouldn’t understand. He would do the right thing, of course, and maybe, someday, you would learn to forgive him, but it would ruin you all in the process.
Oh, Lord. Oh, Jesus.
He thinks he might vomit again.
When the Reverend emerges, he looks surprised to find Elvis sitting there.
“Pastor, I am the most miserable man you’ve ever seen. I am doing the things you taught me not to, and I’m not doing the things you said I should,” he sobs, “Please, please pray for me.”
“Oh, son…come in,” Reverend Hamill says.
Deflated, consumed, and heavy with his guilt and the repercussions of his actions, he follows the pastor into his office. He can’t bring himself to admit what he’s done, to admit how horrible he is. He just cannot get the words out. Instead, he weeps and prays, over and over, the Reverend praying with him.
All he can whimper out is, “Please, please forgive me for my sins. Please.” He’s not sure if he’s asking the minister or God or both. He only knows he cannot live with himself for hurting you, even if you don’t know it.
After over an hour of this, by the grace of God, he finally calms some. His entire body and soul aches.
But he knows what he has to do now. He understands the deal he has made.
It doesn’t matter what he wants or needs. You being okay is all that matters. He has to make sure you’re taken care of. He has to make sure that you are happy.
In the days and weeks and months that follow, Elvis pretends he is having the time of his life, becoming every bit the budding superstar that the country insists that he is now. Sometimes, he even believes it; sometimes, he even forgets. Though every time he sees you, his heart breaks a little more, his love for you permeating him to the core.
But he knows he can’t have you. He knows he doesn’t deserve you.
Instead, he plants seeds in Jack’s ear. “You love her, don’t ya, Jacky Boy? When are ya gonna make an honest woman of her?” He pushes Jack to fully commit to you. He even goes with Jack to buy the ring, though he stops himself from paying for it. Jack has his pride, after all.
Instead, he throws himself into work, grateful for the grueling cycle of touring and recording and appearances and acting. He throws himself into fixing up Graceland for his family, building a life of extravagance that he never could’ve dreamed of.
And, God help him, he starts seeing other girls. He leans into the image of the playboy they all want him to be. He dates and he fucks, thinking that maybe, just maybe, one of these girls will make him forget the perfect way you fit into him, forget the way your face looked when you came undone around him. That maybe one of them will come close to the wonder that is you. That they will help him forget his past sins by cutting new ones. He cannot seem to help but do the sinful things he swore he wouldn’t do, lest he drown in his sorrows, but the girls help keep him from the one thing that is off limits: You.
When Jack finally pops the question in the summer, and you accept immediately, he can barely keep himself together. He convinces himself this is the right thing, that he is happy for the both of you as he stares into the night sky knowing deep in his soul that it should be him. He reminds himself that this is the deal, this is what he wanted, to see you happy and taken care of.
And he will damn himself for your salvation every time.
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December 28th, 1957, Graceland
Oh, God, what have I done?
The moment you appear down the aisle, looking ever the most beautiful, blushing bride, every part of him aches with love for you. He’d thought that by giving you the life you dreamed of, the life you needed, that it would be enough to let you go. But as Elvis stands by Jack’s side at the altar, he realizes that no matter what has happened, no matter what he has done, he is always going to love you and it’s never not going to hurt, especially not after this.
Not after the quick look you shoot him as you step up to meet Jack, your pretty, wide eyes full of excitement and emotion. Not after seeing you all in white and wishing to God that it was him marrying you right now. Not after he keeps his peace after the minister asks if there’s a reason these two should not be married.
He somehow manages to keep himself from openly weeping during the ceremony by biting the inside of his cheek repeatedly but still finds himself caught in your radiance more than once and must force himself to look away. During the wedding pictures, he cannot help but maneuver himself close to you to press a lingering kiss to your cheek, to be memorialized for all time on film. The press of his soft lips into your warm cheek sends that tell-tale shiver through him, one that drives in the fact that he still loves you. He gives himself this tiny thing, and no one questions it because they all know you are close friends, and a congratulatory cheek kiss on your wedding day is not strange.
Discretely, he makes sure to let the photographer know he wants copies of the pictures, with the excuse that he is paying for them and wants to make sure they are perfect. This, too, is not questioned, as if it is the most normal thing in the world.
To torture himself even more, he offers Graceland up for the reception. These are his two best friends, after all, now cleaved together in holy matrimony for the rest of their lives. No expense should be spared because they deserve all the happiness in the world.
And they do, he reminds himself throughout the day. They do deserve all the happiness in the world.
At least if you are with Jack, he thinks, he still has you in his life. He can still see those beautiful, wide eyes whenever he wants without question or suspicion.
He clings to this.
Even so, he feels as though he is being sucked into a riptide. It seems fated that his life is going in a much different direction than the newlyweds. The draft notice he received a week ago confirms this, weighing heavy on his heart and feeing like a nail in the coffin of his hopes and dreams.
God is testing him, he thinks. It is all a very clear and stark reminder that where he goes, you cannot follow. He cannot help but feel that God is punishing him for his sins by taking him away from the fame he has just settled into to, taking him from the people he loves and the things he loves to do. He wants to lament that it isn’t fair, but part of him knows that he deserves this, too, for what he’s done and for what he’s done to you.
And perhaps God works in mysterious ways, as while he is loathe to leave his parents and his career and his fans, he cannot help the small part of him that is relieved he doesn’t have to watch you and Jack in your newlywedded bliss for the next two years. It’s the only upshot to this entire disaster.
But he won’t let his sorrow overshadow your big day. With a smile plastered on his face, he gives a charming and loving speech of how wonderful it is to see his two best friends find such happiness with each other. He only stutters once or twice, which comes across as endearing rather than damning. But the thing is, even though he is miserable, he is still happy for you two. He wants more than anything for you to have everything you’ve ever wanted and more, and if that is with Jack, then so be it.
The only time he truly falters is during the dance.
Your little sister (who at 18 is not so little anymore), Rosie, as the Maid of Honor, dances with Jack, while he, the Best Man, dances with you. The moment he touches you, sparks fly through him and down his spine, and he cannot help but pull you in a little too close, even though everyone is looking. His large hand wraps around your smaller one and the other clings to your waist.
The thing is, you do not react to this at all, not outwardly, anyway. You let him hold you and press his cheek against your temple. You let him breathe in your scent and lean into you, as if memorizing everything about you. You let his hands contract, pulling you in closer. You let him lead because it’s like somehow you know, in your soul, that he needs this, even if you’re not exactly sure why.
And for that he is grateful. He is grateful as he takes in every bit of you, committing you to memory, knowing that soon that is all he will have of you. All you will be is a memory, imprinted on his heart, for the rest of time.
When the song comes to an end, he leans back slowly, his eyes searching your face for any recognition, any understanding of his plight, any feelings of your own that might linger in your subconscious. You stare back at him openly for a moment, and for a second he thinks he sees a glimmer of something in your eyes, but then Jack is pulling you away and the moment is gone.
As the party continues into the night, he feels like he is suffocating and escapes upstairs to his room. And as people know not to enter his bedroom without express permission, he feels safe to let out the shaking sob he’s been holding back for hours.
He’s not sure how long he cries before a tap at the door startles him into motion, frantically wiping at his face.
“Bewbie, sweet boy, can I come in? It’s just me,” his mama’s voice echoes through the door.
“Yeah, Mama, come in,” he croaks out, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. While he is relieved that it’s her and not one of the guys, or God forbid, you, he still doesn’t know how he’s going to explain the state he’s in.
His mama comes in quietly, shutting the door quickly behind her. She looks him over and in one fell swoop seems to understand, even though he’s said nothing, even though he’s spent months perfecting his nonchalantness for the world, what is going on.
But a mother knows.
His mama sits next to him on the edge of the bed, putting her arm comfortingly around his broad shoulders. “Oh, my wittle baby, it’s her, isn’t it? Our beautiful y/n. You love her,” she says, less of a question and more stating a fact.
That does him in, the way his secret is exposed so easily by his mama. It terrifies him that she knows him so well, and terrifies him that if she knows this, what else does she know? There’s no point in denying anything, so he curls into her like a child and lets go of it all, the tears streaming once again down his cheeks as his body shakes with quiet sobs.
His mama has always loved you, taking quickly to your genial ways and how you always made time to spend with her. Maybe she suspected something from the start, he doesn’t know, but she doesn’t judge or scold him now.
“H-hurts so bad, Satnin,” he hiccups out. And it does, now that he’s letting it. It feels like his heart is being ripped from his chest.
“I know, baby, I know,” she coos, rubbing his back. He can sense all the questions she wants to ask but doesn’t.
“I-I-I couldn’t…I-I ain’t w-w-what she needs or wants, Mama,” he stutters out. It’s as close as he’s willing to get to telling her the truth.
“It takes a brave man to let the girl he loves marry another, when he knows that’s what she wants, though I can’t say I wish it didn’t work out the other way,” his mama tuts.
“Y-you knew?”
“Course I knew, Bewbie. A mother always knows. To be fair, I been watchin’ the way ya look at that girl for the past few years and it didn’t take much t’put it all together, baby,” she says. “But the question is, does she know?”
He stills and stays silent for a moment, before answering truthfully, “I don’t know, Mama. I don’t think so.”
“Hmm,” she tuts, “I’m gonna trust you had good reason for lettin’ that wonderful girl go without tellin’ her how ya feel?”
His heart constricts, causing him to doubt his choices, but he can’t explain how he nearly killed you with his terrible decisions. He certainly can’t tell his mama that he made love to you when you weren’t yourself, no matter that it was you came on to him. And he knows his mama would balk if he told her how much he doesn’t deserve your love because of his sins.
“It’s better this way, Mama,” he says quietly, sitting up and staring at his hands. “And she’s happy, both she and Jack.”
His mama nods, resigned. “Alright, my sweet baby, puttin’ your friends’ happiness before your own…I know ya made the choice ya thought was best,” she says, wiping his face and pinching his cheeks, “but ya get yourself cleaned up now ‘n go be at least a ‘lil happy for your friends, okay?” She leaves the obvious unsaid—that he’s leaving to film in a few days and straight from there, it’ll be into the Army, so this will be one of the last times he can spend with them.
He nods. “O-okay, Satnin.”
And with that, he does as he’s told.
*
And then, in a blink of an eye, she’s gone. His mama is gone and his world fully collapses and it’s all his fault.
You are the only one who saves him from being completely swallowed in the blackness of his despair, and he’s not in his right mind to think or care how that looks. All he knows is you’re there when he needs you the most. You’re there to get him through the absolute worst of it before they send him a world away, and then, he loses you, too.
He loses everything that means anything to him—his mama, you, his career—and he wonders how long God will continue to punish him for his misdeeds, until he can’t bring himself to care much anymore about anything at all.
Germany feels like a cold fog that clouds his brain, even when he brings his Daddy and Dodger and Red over to live with him off base. In his haze, he writes Anita promises he wishes he could keep but deep down knows he won’t. Then, he turns around and does all the things he shouldn’t do because he can and what does it even matter if it’s all lost anyway? He takes the pills they give him to keep him awake in the field, and those make him feel pretty good, for a time anyway, and then he starts taking other pills they give him to bring him down after. In his off time, he screws and tries to forget the life he used to know.
And in those horrible quiet hours when he lies awake, trying to sleep when even the pills won’t let him, trying to escape and can’t, he thinks of you. He thinks of his love for you and your hold over him even now, a world away, and when he’s extra lonely, he imagines you on top of him, writhing and beautiful. And when he comes undone, there’s nothing left but a gaping hole in his heart and a mess in his hand.
*
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March 1960
Elvis bites his nails to the quick on the long journey home. It’s not just because of the planes and the exhaustion and not knowing if he’ll ever get back to being “Elvis Presley,” but he knows he’ll be seeing you in a matter of hours. Not years or months or weeks, but hours.
And he thinks that maybe he is finally over you, that maybe he’s healed enough from everything and that he’s on his way to start something new, something fresh.
But, God, somehow you are more beautiful now than before, but you act so strange around him, and his heart wants to leap and implode all at once. Somehow everything has changed…but you, you still own his heart.
Once he discovers your pregnancy, he is over the moon for you because he can sense how badly you want this. He doesn’t care that the baby is Jack’s—he loves it more than anything because he loves you and seeing you so happy brings him true joy for the first time in a long, long time.
His career is taking off again, his new image impressing those who denounced him a few years ago, and he already has appearances and recordings and films lined up to go. Life feels…almost good, like maybe he’s finally paid his karmic debt.
Then you almost bleed to death in his arms.
His terrified confession of love is spoken in an act of desperation, a singular hope that if you know he loves you, you won’t be able to go, that the string of fate that draws you both together cannot be broken, that he can somehow will you back to life with the power of his love.
He begs God, begs as he’s never begged before, an inner wail of blood-soaked prayer that does not cease as he rides with your near-lifeless form to the hospital, nor when he calls Jack and your parents, nor as paces the waiting room.
Singularly focused on his pleas to God, he doesn’t even realize he’s covered in your blood until Charlie and Jerry arrive shortly after the ambulance and look at him in shock.
“Jesus, EP,” Charlie gasps quietly, taking in the macabre scene, “We need to get you changed and cleaned up before Jack gets here.”
That’s when he looks down and sees your life’s blood staining his pants, his shirt, his arms, his hands. God, it’s even under my nails, he thinks as he watches his hands shake, feeling utterly disconnected from his body.
He’s frozen, unable to move, repeating his prayers again and again, until Charlie whisks him away and has to physically help him strip down and wash the blood from his body in the bathroom. As he watches the pink-tinged water swirl down the drain, he cannot bear the thought that maybe it’s the last thing he has of you, these stains, and that maybe he’s truly lost you.
He just got you back. He can’t lose you. He won’t.
No, his inner mantra of prayer doesn’t cease until he is absolutely sure you are going to be okay.
Though “okay” is relative, he learns quickly. You have a long recovery ahead of you, the surgeons say, wiping their sweating brows, and the next few days will be crucial. The baby is gone, and the doctors say that more tests need to be done once you are well to see if that is even an option in the future.
He is heartbroken for you, and for Jack. But you are alive. You are alive.
Lamar and Red have to physically drag him from the hospital in the morning to get him ready and put him on the train to Florida for Frank Sinatra’s special, which is the very last thing he wants to do. But it is absolutely pivotal in his career comeback, so he tells Rosie in no uncertain terms that she is to keep him posted about her sister and any developments.
As he showers and packs, exhaustion seeping into his bones, it suddenly hits him that he told you he loved you, and it’s likely there will be fallout from that. It makes him incredibly worried, and he is even more loathe to leave until he knows where he stands with you. It’s possible you won’t even want to see him again.
Or it’s possible she loves you, too, a little voice hopes. But he knows better than to feed that monster. You don’t love him, not like that, and it’s selfish of him to even consider at a time like this.
“It’ll take your mind off things, EP,” Jerry tries to convince him, seeing his trepidation, prodding him along to get on the train. “And it’ll give y/n and Jack and her family time to get situated.”
The message is clear. Elvis is not in the inner circle of your life, not anymore, not as he wants to be. This fact is both sobering and cutting at the same time. It reminds him yet again that where he goes, you cannot follow, and where you go, he is not always welcome or needed.
He nods solemnly, thinking he finally understands, yet again, the terms of his deal with God. You live and he keeps his distance, he keeps his sins from tainting you. You live and he lets you go.
He pops a couple of pills, brought over from Germany, to wake him up, to get him in the performing mindset, to rev him up to being THE Elvis Presley. “Anything she needs, anything at all, comes to me,” he tells Jerry, “Hospital bills, recovery costs…and I want the best doctors helping her figure out her pregnancy issues. Oh, and send flowers, every day.”
Jerry nods, eyes observant and keen. “Of course, EP. Anything for y/n and Jack.”
Yes, anything for you.
*
You don’t remember a thing from that night, he learns from Rosie, and most of him thinks it’s for the best. But a small, egotistical part of him thinks bitterly that you certainly have a knack for forgetting anything monumental that happens between the two of you.
But he is busy. So busy, in fact, that he barely has time to think of you at all after that.
Except half the songs he chooses for his comeback album have something to do with you, which he only consciously realizes when he steps up to the mic to sing. And just as he thought of you the night of the talent show, he thinks of you now, singing about the girl of his best friend and how it feels so right being with you. He pours his hopes and dreams and frustrations and sorrows right into that album.
Perhaps it will cleanse him of needing you. Perhaps it’ll help him let you go.
When you find out that children are likely not in the cards for you and Jack, he sends more flowers, every day for a week. Jack is devastated and practically begs to come out to Hollywood to escape the sadness, so he agrees.
Anything for his friend, right?
He takes care of you from afar. He takes care of everything. Anything you could possibly want or need is yours. But he keeps his distance.
That is the bargain.
He falters at Christmas, almost letting his grief and yours ruin everything. He swears that you feel something for him, that maybe your impulse to be with him was not entirely driven by the drugs all those years ago. That maybe you do somehow remember his confession. Part of him swears if he had let it happen, you would’ve been his once again.
But you are not his, you never really were.
And while he knows this on a logical level, the more he is away, the more he fills his days with mindless movie making and wooing his costars and taking pills that bring him up and more that pull him down, the more he lets himself imagine you are his. From a distance, he can take care of you. From a distance and in the deep recesses of his mind, you belong to him and him alone.
“Elvis Presley” becomes a household name, now with a clean-cut image, alluring to both housewives and teenagers alike. His fame and wealth grow, and so does his isolation and loneliness. So does the need for the pills and to bring the rest of the guys into it all with him. Even Jack.
Especially Jack.
But he doesn’t like to think about why that is.
He manages to destroy his relationship with Anita along the way. He loved her, in his way, he really did. But she was not you. Neither is Ann, though he thinks for a moment that she may be the answer to his prayers, but in the end, he screws that up, too.
As the years drag on, he thinks he finally understands why he sabotages every relationship he’s ever had—it’s you—none of them are YOU. So he flits from fling to fling without ever truly landing because all he really wants is your love. But he doesn’t deserve it, he never has.
He knows this as he watches Jack descend into alcohol and drugs and women, and a small, horrible part of him wants Jack to self-destruct, and even though he knows this hurts you, he is too selfish to stop it. And the guilt of this, coupled with the downturn in his career, pushes him to self-destruct, too.
Still, he keeps his distance. When he’s home, he tries not to shoot you too many lingering glances. He reins himself in, most of the time, but in moments of weakness, he allows himself to get too close. He catches you alone, he makes a pass. But because you are you, you always rebuke him with a laugh. Silly Elvis, ever the jokester.
But sometimes, in the dark of night, in your beautiful, wide eyes, he sees something else. That deeper connection that drew you together in the first place, mixed with a heat he has only seen once or twice. And it is that which keeps his hope alive.
In an attempt to bury it and fill the hole in his heart, he almost marries, but in the end, he can’t go through with it. He’s wildly unhappy and dissatisfied, and it’s not until he finally gains some control over his career again that things take a turn for the better. He finally starts to clean up his act. He seeks knowledge and spiritual clarity. He finally finds his passion for music and performing again after nearly a decade.
But it’s too late for Jack. He managed to drag Jack to hell and while he made it back, Jack has not. And you are miserable because of it. This breaks his heart.
He tried to give you everything you wanted and needed by stepping back to let Jack do so. He kept his distance. He did what he’d promised God, and yet life still destroyed your dreams.
Jack no longer makes you happy. Jack is no longer the man who can give you what you need.
And suddenly Elvis wonders if he was wrong all along. That perhaps he wasn’t the man you needed then, but he is now. Perhaps his sins have been forgiven. Perhaps the more he pushes you away, the worse things become for both of you because you are indeed supposed to be together.
You are his. You’ve always been his.
So, riding high from his first Vegas performance, he finally allows himself to pursue you. He pushes away a decade and a half of guilt and shame and lets his charm and confidence entice you. He lets the sparks fly between you, finally free after all this time, and more intense than ever. To his gleeful surprise, you accept him willingly, if not a bit hesitantly.
Maybe it is just sex, he thinks at first, this carnal need he has for you, but he knows better. As soon as he tastes you after all these years, he knows he can never let you go again. As soon as he coaxes, then watches you come undone again and again, he realizes that still, after all this time, this is it for him. You are it. You always have been. And he will do anything to keep you, to make sure you know that you are his.
He thinks you might remember it all after that first night, but you don’t, not right away. He senses your fear to let go, to let yourself have him, to have this affair. He knows you want this to be only sex. And maybe it is for you, at first.
But he will have you. He doesn’t care how many mountains he must move or what he has to do to convince you to stay, but he loves you more than anything in the world and he’s not willing to part with you, not anymore.
It’s true that his fame, wealth, and influence have spoiled him into always getting what he desires. Of course, what he truly desires always has been you. Now unlocked, his love and want and need for you is insatiable, and he will do anything to keep it that way.
Anything for you. Anything but letting you go.
*
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As the blackout of his rage starts to dissipate and he comes to, he assumes that his friends are holding him back from quite literally killing the disheveled and beaten man who used to be his best friend, and he watches with deep satisfaction as you slap the shit out of your husband.
He also feels the immense guilt of letting it get this far, of not knowing just how bad Jack was to you, and his part in all of it.
But when you vomit and promptly fall to an unconscious heap on the ground, his fear is what overshadows his rage and guilt. Something is wrong, he knows it.
Not again, not again, not again.
Triggered by your history, Elvis, with untold strength, wrenches himself from the four men holding him down and clamors to your side, everyone else forgotten.
Pulling your limp body into his lap, he screams for someone to call the doctor. His heart pounds so hard he thinks he might need one, too.
Please God, please God, please God. Not now, not after all we’ve been through.
That deep-seeded, old shame creeps back in as he rocks you: This is your fault. Your selfishness did this. You destroyed Jack, he took it out on her, and you’ve put her at risk, yet again. You are a scourge on this woman you claim to love so much. A pestilence.
He’s getting lost in this fearful despair, and then Jerry’s voice in his ear snaps him back: “EP. EP! You have to let her go, man. The doctor is here.” Jerry pulls his arms off her as the doctor examines her.
Elvis’ fingers go straight to his mouth, his obsessive habit of biting his nails taking over as he watches the doctor carefully.
The doctor looks up, taking in the scene. He looks at Elvis, then at Jack bleeding against the wall, and purses his lips. “Will somebody tell me what happened to this young lady?”
“There was an incident…” Jerry begins diplomatically.
“Her husband slammed his fist into her face!” Sandy yells over him, furious, earning scathing looks from the entourage. They knew better than to give details, knowing to keep things close to the chest and avoid any legal issues, to protect him at all costs.
“Sandy!” Jerry admonishes her.
“No, it’s okay, Jer,” Elvis says firmly, waving him off. “I’m sure the doctor knows to be discreet.”
The doctor looks up at his hovering, intimidating form, and says nothing for a moment. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I need to get her to a hospital and stabilized as soon as possible. She needs x-rays. It’s likely she has a serious concussion, Mr. Presley.”
The men start to argue, knowing that as soon as she leaves this room, a whole host of problems could fall down on them, but that’s the last thing he cares about right now. All that matters is you.
Elvis holds up his hand and everyone goes silent. “Do what you need to do, Doc. Anything she needs.”
The doctor nods and asks that someone phone for an ambulance.
Elvis looks up and sees that the men cleared the room at some point, leaving only the major players. Jack still sits, leaning on the wall next to Red, his face battered and bloody, watching the doctor. Elvis can’t tell if Jack is sorry or not. Elvis walks towards Jack, his anger tempered only by his concern for you.
“EP!” Jerry says in a warning tone, signaling for the men to flank him.
“I’m fine,” he commands, crouching at Jack’s side.
Jack flinches.
“Are you proud of yourself, Jacky Boy? Are you satisfied, seeing her laid out on the ground like that? Is this what you wanted?” he hisses.
Jack says nothing. He sees the tears in Jack’s eyes, the regret through the pain, and for a second, Elvis almost sees the man he used to know in there.
“Hmm,” he tuts, looking over his friend with disgust, shaking his head. “I’ll deal with you later. And you, too,” he says, with a low, deadly calm, pointedly to Red. Then he rises easily from the floor, his attention on the men with the stretcher who just entered the suite.
“It’s never enough with you, EP, you selfish motherfucker. The man who gets everything he wants, no matter how many lives he has to destroy to get it. The rules never apply to you, do they? Dammit, you coulda had anyone, anyone! Why did it have to be y/n?” Jack spits out mournfully from behind him.
Shame snakes through him, through the anger that continues to boil under just the surface, covering the sorrow that flows under that. There is truth in Jack’s words, he knows that, even though he wants to deny it.
“How long, Elvis?”
He supposes he owes Jack that much, though he doesn’t even turn his head.
“Opening night.”
“No, you bastard. How long have you been in love with my wife?”
The room goes silent yet again.
Elvis turns around, but he cannot bring himself to look Jack in the eyes for a moment. A lifetime of memories flashes through his head, of times much better than this, of times when they had each other’s backs. Ultimately, he knows what Jack has become is partially his fault. Ultimately, he knows it was wrong of him to want you when you weren’t his, wrong to have sex with you, even before the debacle of you and the pills. It was wrong of him to manipulate Jack into marrying you.
As much as he hates Jack right now, he once loved him, and still, he betrayed him.
Jack chuckles darkly, “That fucking long, huh?”
Elvis finally looks Jack in the eyes but says nothing. Nothing he can say will make any of this less of a fiasco. Nothing he can say with make it right, no matter how much he wants to jump in to defend himself, to tell Jack he saw you first, to tell him he wanted you first, to fucking explain that you’re his goddamn soulmate and he’s had to watch you be with someone else for almost two fucking decades.
“Ahhh, and she didn’t even know, did she?” A hint of a smile plays on Jack’s bloodied lips. “Didn’t even give the King the time of day! Well, at least I got that goin’ for me,” he laughs.  
His brow furrows as he fumes, and he steps towards Jack again. Lamar puts himself between the two men.
“It’s fine, Lamar, let him at me. What do I have to lose now anyways?” Jack laughs, which turn suddenly to sobs, “You were my brother. I gave up my life for you! I loved you, man!”
The words cut Elvis to the bone, flooding his fury with more guilt.
“And I love her,” Jack sobs.
“You don’t fucking love her,” Elvis says, infuriated, pushing past Lamar to grab Jack’s chin, wrenching his head to look at you being put on the stretcher. “You hurt her. You been hurtin’ her. And Jack, if she dies, I don’t care what brotherly love was between you and me—I will fucking kill you,” he says, low and vehement in Jack’s ear, for only him to hear.
He pulls back to stare Jack in the eye, to let him know just how serious he is, to make sure he understands that through the pain and the alcohol and whatever pills he might be on.
Jack blinks through his tears and nods his head once, shakily.
Elvis releases him.
Then he steps in behind you, still unconscious, on the stretcher as they take you out of the penthouse and to the elevator.
“EP, I really don’t think it’s a good idea to…” Charlie starts, hustling behind him.
He turns, seeing the stares of the men who have given him their lives to stand by his side. Some of them are befuddled, some understanding and resigned, some even a little suspicious after tonight’s events.
“I don’t give two shits if it’s a good idea or not, I’m goin’ with her. Anyone wanna argue with me about it?” he says impatiently, shooting up an eyebrow.
No one does.
It’s good it’s the middle of the night, otherwise he would’ve caused a huge scene at the hospital. But the nurses and doctors seem to gather by his demeanor that now is not the time for autographs. Instead of putting them in the waiting room, they set up an empty room at the end of the hall for the lot of them, a gruff old nurse warning them they best be quiet and not wake any of the patients before she closes the door on them.
And for the third time in his life, he waits to know your fate.
He waits for you, just as he’s been waiting for you for the last 18 years.
He waits and he prays, though this time, he makes no bargains with God.
He stills when the doctor finally comes to tell him that, yes, you do have a concussion and though you will likely experience symptoms as you recover, you should recover fully. He feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from his shoulders.
When the doctor leads him and him alone back to your room, the doctor mentions the other symptoms you’ll likely experience and that you might have issues with your memory leading up to the event. Elvis cannot help but chuckle at that.
“Oh, I’m betting she will,” he says under his breath, though this time, he thinks it might be best after what you went through tonight.
He sits by your side in the quiet, dimmed room, and is taken aback by the angry bruising already spreading over your beautiful face. His fury at Jack swells through him once more, followed immediately by sadness. You look so innocent and fragile lying there. Suddenly, he feels afraid to touch you, as though you might break.
So, he waits. He waits for you to wake and he prays. He thinks of the lifetime he’s had without you and the life he wants with you going forward. And this time, he knows he won’t be leaving your side for anyone or anything.
But his secrets still lay heavy and dark on his heart. There are those things he cannot tell you of that day at Graceland so long ago, and the things he still cannot bring himself to admit to, like his confession of love as you almost died in his arms and his meddling in your life. He doesn’t want to tell you how all of it has led to you lying here in this hospital, hurt and fragile but somehow still his, he hopes.
He doesn’t know what he’s going to do about it yet, so for now he just waits for you to come back to him.
He’s been too rough with you, he thinks, in his quest to show you how you are his. Pushing you too hard to keep up with his rockstar lifestyle and his insatiable need for you sexually has not been good for you. You’re exhausted, not eating, and have been on an emotional rollercoaster for days, and he was too consumed by his own selfishness to listen, so much so that he almost drove you away. The hurt, the feeling of pure panic that shot through him when you said you were leaving was enough to bring him to his knees, but of course, he could not tell you that. He couldn’t show you that weakness. Instead, he’d covered it with anger and passion, fucking you into submission.
He realizes his dominance, while fun in the bedroom, is perhaps masking his true feelings. He has told you in so many words how desperate he is for you, how he wants you to be with him, to let him take care of you, how he is yours, that he needs you. But in truth, he is afraid. Afraid that you don’t and never will feel the same towards him as he does towards you. That it is only his coercion, manipulation, and his sexual prowess that keeps you here with him. No matter how much you say you are his and that you will stay as he fucks it out of you, he’s not convinced that you’ll feel the same in the light of day, of your own accord.
Lord, the way you said you needed him tonight flashed him right back to that first time with you at Graceland. The time you don’t remember. He is putty in your hands now, just as he was then. But that need of yours was only sexual. If it is truly just sex for you and you are only staying for that…well, that scares him and makes him want to hold onto you so tightly that you can’t leave even if you wanted to.
If you don’t ever feel that same pull inside your heart, in your soul, that he has for you, he’s not sure what he will do.
Gone is the bravado and confidence gleaned from years of being Elvis Presley. Instead, he sits here at your bedside feeling stripped to his core: a nervous, stuttering boy with a funny name who loves you more than life itself. He is that boy who picked your books up off the ground, the one who you calmed backstage with your sweetness and wit. For you and you alone, he is just Elvis. And he’s worried he won’t recover if you don’t ever grow to love him.
Anxiety courses through him, a throbbing pulse that serves to remind him that for all he has and is in this world, he is still only a man. And you are the girl who has comforted him through some of his worst moments, yet now after all this time he’s still terrified to let you truly see him. If he lets you in, you will see him for all that he is and all the terrible parts of himself he’s ashamed of: his selfishness and possessiveness, his overindulgence, his obsessive tendencies, his goddamned vanity and ego. His secrets. If you know the things he’s kept from you, he’s not sure you’ll ever forgive him. Certainly, you could not love him.
His heart aches at that thought, flooding him with despair. He needs you so badly that he cannot bear to risk showing you everything; however, a deep part of him wants to flay himself bare to you, to expose himself in a way that he has never done before, not with anyone.
Elvis puts his head on the bed near your hand. He is going to be gentler with you, especially after tonight. He will prove to you that he is worthy of your love, that this is so much more than just sex. He’s going to take care of you and give you the life you’ve always deserved.
God has humbled him once again tonight, and he knows he must do better.
He loves you so deeply he can hardly breathe.
So, he waits. He prays.
And he hopes that one day, you will love him, too.
*
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ingravinoveritas · 3 months
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cloud-based-and-rainpilled replied to your post: 
Someone mentioned in a comment that Michael got ‘downgraded’ to boyfriend, so my tinfoil (again, could be wrong/insane) is that AL & GT referring to each other as wifey is to downplay the previous MS ‘wife’ jokes, since people keep commenting about a poly thing going on, moreso than the past. Also since MS is in London rn, he’s with DT more, so I think there’s a bit of insecurity going on. a lot of (doomed) poly couples have an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ rule, or think the swinging being gay 'doesn't count/isn't a threat,' which could be why the posts feel forced. (parasocial, creepy, bad person, etc., whatever, I calls it as I sees it and have seen it before 🤷‍♀️ )
lepqueen replied to your post: 
My biggest question on this was actually about the song choice, given that I am reasonably sure Sting said at some point Every Breath You Take is a stalker song.
@cloud-based-and-rainpilled I had a similar thought about the insecurity. I think Georgia and AL trying so hard to give the appearance of everything being "fine" and everyone getting along only makes it feel more like things in reality are not exactly what's being presented on social media. I personally did not see "boyfriend" as a downgrade (because from my perspective, "other wife" reads as more jokey/unserious, but boyfriend is...softer, somehow), but I can see why some folks could interpret it as a downgrade when it's actually a readjusting of whatever the dynamic is between all of them.
Going back to the insecurity, I had also wondered how things would play out while Michael was in London for such a long time during the run of Nye, and it makes all the sense in the world that things would change with Michael and David being able to see each other in person frequently. And you make a salient point about the gay swinging being seen as less threatening (which I think is why it's been easy for Georgia and AL to start up with that, and why we have never seen even one reference to David/Anna or Michael/Georgia and swinging). It could be that shipping Michael and David was also seen as less threatening and easier to play along with a few years ago, when it was all still new and Michael and David hadn't gotten as close as they have now. So yes, I do think something has changed, and though we may never be privy to what specifically, we can still see its aftereffects and reverberations in a variety of ways.
(I also wish the antis/people making vitriolic posts in the tags would understand your final point, which is that some of us have seen these things before and are speaking from a place of experience--unlike their assertions (and I have actually seen someone say this) that we have never had any close friendships or relationships like these, and therefore know nothing.)
To your comment, @lepqueen, I also found myself raising an eyebrow at the song choice. You are correct that Sting has described the song as being creepy, and I found one quote from him in particular attesting to this:
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I'm not really sure how this fits into the context of AL's post, though, or what made her choose it. Is the David pillow watching her every move? Is she watching the pillow? I have no idea. But that was certainly a choice, so there you go...
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marzgurl · 10 months
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Hi there, @katkit-42 , just saw your tags and thought, actually, that's not a bad thing to elaborate upon.
This is another kinda long post, which I think most people should read, too, but I'll be kind and put the bulk of this behind a cut here. Please do take the time to open it up and read it, though.
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The real answer is, this whole experience has been me balancing out being mortified by a lot of the things that have happened to me with the fact that everybody involved in the whole thing has also been a complete and utter moron. Any time I even slightly start to get scared, I have to remind myself (or even have my husband remind me) that these are the absolute stupidest people we're talking about, none of whom are wholly capable of completing something so horrific, no matter how serious about it they might be.
I hadn't said it in the previous longpost, but in 2019, it was very clear that Vic had intended to sue me along with Monica, Jamie, Ron, and Funimation (although that never happened). I had received an E-mail copy of a letter of preservation from Vic's very, very stupid lawyers. I'll go ahead and share that here.
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It was moronic for a number of reasons. One, I was told it was sent to two different E-mail addresses I have, one of which never arrived. Two, it's written REALLY badly. Three, it supposedly was also delivered via certified mail. Here's the problem: they mailed it to an address in Inglewood, California.
I have never lived in Inglewood, California.
But I know why they THOUGHT I did. Because in 2018, while walking from where I was living to my car to go to work, I got mugged! I had just recently moved and had been filling out paperwork for new jobs and things, and the bag they took still had my social security card, ID, and even my passport in it, which somebody later used to steal my identity. I remember the cops calling me back in a week or two after my mugging asking me questions because they believed they'd found people associated with who mugged me, and they asked me if I'd ever lived at an Inglewood address, and I told them no, and they were like, "Okay, great, pretty sure we know exactly where they are, thanks." So, I hope the guys who mugged me enjoyed having my identity and receiving a letter in the mail saying they were possibly gonna get sued. Thanks for taking one for me, muggers.
I mention this to say Vic has had me in his sights for a LONG time. A good four and a half years now at this point. Although I'm not the one that had any stories of him assaulting me, I was the one who made sure that people could SEE the stories of other people telling THEIR stories, and he HATES that. Clearly, he hates that a LOT.
Vic has vaguely mentioned me NUMEROUS times on his livestreams, saying, "I'm not gonna name names," but clearly intending everybody to know it's me he's talking about. In 2022, he referenced how I have a donation button on my Twitch channel and in the past have occasionally had drives to help me make ends meet. This is despite the fact that my husband and I were both working full time, but life in Los Angeles is hard. Despite this, Vic has this to say:
"These are people who start crowdfunding campaigns to pay their bills. What does that tell you about them? These are losers, everybody. These are people that are for whatever reason so disgusted with their lives--so unhappy with their lives, and instead of, like, working or going out there and, you know--and building something or creating something, they want to sit at home on their computer and look for ways to trash me an other people they don't like. And then they ask you to give them money to pay their bills. Pathetic. Pathetic. *weird snarl* Anyway--"
I feel like a donation bar isn't a "crowdfunding campaign", but we don't have to nitpick here. Vic has also expressed though private E-mails with various individuals that he believes I used crowdfunding to pay for a "cat funeral", which he also found to be distasteful. So, this was clearly a jab at me, but he got the details of it wrong. In 2019, my 14-year-old cat Siren was very sick. I was trying to get her healthcare and wasn't sure how I was going to pay for it. My friend--NOT ME, SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY--asked me if it was okay if THEY set up a GoFundMe to help me find a way to save my cat. THEY created the GoFundMe, and some people donated, and we did all we could to save Siren before it was clear that she was too far gone, and we lost her. We did NOT raise funds to have a funeral for her. Not in the slightest. The fact that this is what Vic is telling people is disgusting, and cruel to the idea of somebody who has ever had to deal with the loss of a beloved family member. On top of this, if you have ever struggled to make ends meet, let's not mince words here--Vic thinks you are "pathetic". He thinks if you don't make money, you just aren't working hard enough (even if it turns out you and your family all work full-time and take side gigs just to cover everything). Of course, he also seemed to believe that I didn't have a job at all (a long-running conspiracy theory among his fans, just because they couldn't figure out who my employer was), when I was providing hard evidence of being actively credited for my work as a subtitle and closed caption editor in the anime industry (the very same anime industry Vic was kicked out of).
But it's weird that he thinks you're a loser if you crowdfund to pay your bills! Is that not precisely how you managed to sue the very women you assaulted, Vic? To this day, the "Vic Kicks Back" GoFundMe is still open, and has raised nearly $300,000 dollars--a significantly higher amount than anything I've ever earned via Twitch donations.
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In May of this year (which is exactly when Farah was ramping up her online harassment campaign against me), Vic once again vaguely talked about me, but got all the details wrong yet again. Since I can only embed one video, I'll link to this second clip here, which someone else has uploaded to Twitter.
Everybody knows Vic means me when he says that prior to 2019 I only had about 800 followers and now have more like 18,000, all because I was talking about him. Which he's very much over-inflating. I'd already had several years of a career of being an online content creator. By 2019 I had 16,000 followers. I've had my account for something like 14 years. I'm now over 19,000, pushing 20,000. That growth from 2019 to 2023 seems relatively normal to me. It was a very gradual growth that honestly doesn't look all that much different from the growth I'd had since 2009. Even one glance at Social Blade will confirm this is true.
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He also keeps saying we've never met (such as in the video clip linked above). But we have! We very much have! I have video of myself--video from EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO--walking up to Vic with a camcorder and him talking directly to me. Feel free to go and watch it for yourself. You can hear my voice and everything!
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AND SO! I say all this to say that I have long been aware of how much Vic Mignogna hates me. Vic Mignogna HATES ME SO. SO. SO. FUCKING. MUCH. He has done everything in his power to belittle and discredit me as somebody so much smaller and weaker and completely different from who I actually am, deliberately lying about facts of my life that I can actively prove false at any given moment with a plethora of receipts.
But you wanna hear the real eye-opening thing? In April of this year, just before Farah started going on the attack, Vic was on his livestream yet again making a very ominous statement. Once again, I link directly to it here since I can't embed it for you.
"I'm already in the middle of looking into some very aggressive retaliation and resources to deal with that."
Now, at the time, we all just thought he meant he was FINALLY gonna pursue a lawsuit against me, which, let's go bro, I'm fuckin' ready to go any time, man. But as it turns out, this sure does line up a whole lot more with the timing of Vic's Red Lobster dinner conversation with Farah about starting a cyber warfare campaign against me, on top of maybe possibly probably murder!?!?!? We know that Farah started her cyber warfare just later that very same month, so that sure sounds like convenient timing to me!
My husband and I had joked for a long, long time, like, "You know, he hates me SO damn much. You think he wants me dead?" And it was always kind of a, "Haha, yeah, we're joking, but what if for real?" And then when Farah started E-mailing me and telling me it was probably very real, I mean... yeah, katkit, that did shake me for a bit. I got the E-mail from Farah while my husband was at work, and it stopped my productivity for the day dead in its tracks. Even though it was clear that they had seriously overlooked really obvious facts (like the fact that I was literally not even going to be in the same state as Anime Expo, the event where Vic wanted me hurt), the fact that he wanted me hurt at all was concerning. Also, it was concerning to me that, if Vic at all stopped being a complete and utter fucking moron and realized I'd VERY PUBLICLY already been announced as a guest at a convention in Texas that very same weekend, it might actually be EASIER for him to have someone come to that event and hurt me, because Vic also still lives in Texas. He himself used to live in Houston, where the event was taking place, and likely still had connections there. Delta H Con is really little, without a lot of security. There was only one possible hotel for me to stay in. I was scheduled for panels and to be at my table all day, every day. Where I was going to be at all times was easily tracked for the entire weekend. To that extent, yes, I was very scared.
In fact, over that first weekend of July, I was very prepared to die.
I started trying to spend more time with my husband, trying to be more conscious of how I spoke or reacted to little things, just in general trying to be nicer and more loving. I started spending more time loving on my two cats who I love very dearly, wondering if I only had a limited time left with them. I started preparing folders of information I wanted to make sure my husband had if for some reason I didn't come back from Houston alive.
In the end, obviously, none of that was necessary. Though I guess I can't say that it was in any way a bad thing to spend more time focusing on and loving my family.
Ultimately, I guess I was saved by the stranger who sent me all those screenshots from Farah's Discord server. Surely, they have no idea what they did. To that person, I thank them. I had no idea it was going to save me, either. Had I not had those screenshots to post online and knock Farah loose from her war path, she might have continued to pursue me until she had something she really could have done to harm me for real.
Now, that's just disrupted that specific plan. Whether Vic will continue to want to pursue my death in some other way, I have no idea. I guess I am a little bit more on guard now than I was before. But also, I know there's only so much I can do. All I can do is just keep going and pretending there isn't this weird dude with a life that he could totally control all on his own and live in peace but instead wants his ability to prey on young women so badly that he would literally kill a woman to be able to continue to get away with doing it.
For right now, though, I'm mostly okay. I'm continuing to do my work, I'm going to see a movie tonight that I had a hand in localizing, and I'm feeling grateful for that success. Thank you for checking in on me. It's very kind of you. I hope you're doing well out there for yourself, too.
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itwoodbeprefect · 4 months
Text
Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈
i wanted to take a moment to reflect on the past year and bring it to a nice close, so i took to tumblr search and google to see if there was some sort of tag game going around. i frankensteined this list of questions from a few different versions of what was probably originally the same thing, but the nature of The Website of course makes it impossible to locate an original, so this is me just sort of, well, joining the fun by starting a parallel thread.
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Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚
words posted: 73,947, but this is a little deceptive because all the words for A flip-flop state of mind currently get counted for 2023, so it's probably something closer to 45-50k
fics posted: 21, which will eventually go down to 19 when i update the two multi-chapter works and they get sorted into the new year
first fic: Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream Throuple [Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)]
last fic: Bases loaded, do your dance [h50]
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Ships and Fandoms ⚓
ao3 tells me the following:
Starsky & Hutch (8)
Hawaii Five-0 (2010) (7)
Ted Lasso (TV) (2)
Stargate Atlantis (1)
Hard Core Logo (1996) (1)
Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948) (1)
Top Gun (Movies) (1)
and for each of those it's probably the ship you most expect if you know the thing (and the way fandom works), except maybe ted lasso (both fics are keeley/roy/jamie) and sga (a gen team fic, no ships).
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Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆
no big surprises here. ted lasso was easily the biggest fandom i've written for this year (not to mention that these two fics had the good fortune of being posted very soon after the finale), followed by h50 long before s&h comes on the scene:
How To Build A Triangle (or accidentally fall headlong into one, or whatever the fuck) [ted lasso]
Honey honey, how you thrill me (Honey honey, nearly kill me) [ted lasso]
A flip-flop state of mind [h50]
Oh, kiss me like the final meal (Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight) [h50]
Something old, something new [h50]
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Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖
these are in no particular order!
3 AM, the time when most people die - this is a hard core logo (1996 canadian movie) fic which just kind of Happened, and it hung around on ao3 for a solid few days in a 0 kudos 10 hits sort of state, which had me giggling every time i thought about it. 2023 goal of writing for me, myself & i achieved (0 kudos on a fic)! ✅ (that said, it does also bring me great joy to see that the number is upwards of zero now. lovely to see an obscure thing find its audience. <3)
Your hands in my back pockets - a starsky/hutch fic, and in some ways the opposite to the previous one. i had a "this is alright" sort of feeling about it when i hit post, and the (lovely! very flattering!) way people responded to it surprised me somewhat. reading it back now, i don't know what bothered me about it at first - it's nice, it flows, it's all good! plus, i really like the title. it's a good s/h title.
POV: It’s a lovely day, you’re sipping a refreshing cold drink on your 70s apartment balcony, and the upstairs neighbor who always waters the sago palm outside your front door when you forget about it has that one friend over and his windows wide open. - this is a starsky/hutch all dialogue fic, and it was just plain fun! very easy to write, thankfully not hard to read, and the title is completely ridiculous in a way that still gives me a kick.
How To Build A Triangle (or accidentally fall headlong into one, or whatever the fuck) - can't not mention this one, i think. it's the roy/jamie/keeley ted lasso fic i wrote in record time (for me), and i had a blast doing that and i think that's palpable in the end result. i have warm memories of this!
Oh, kiss me like the final meal (Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight) - h50! steve/danny! they'd gotten swamped by all the starsky/hutch in 2022, but they made a minor comeback this past year. and again, this fic was just plain fun - a scene that really needed the mcdanno rewrite, and i'm glad it happened, and that it decided to flow so smoothly it grew twice as long as intended. the gag with the gun is still good, the banter works, and i like "it tastes like a laugh".
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Fandom Fic Events 🤝
my knee-jerk first thought was none, which would have been a blatant lie for this year! i wrote a fic for the SHareCon (starsky/hutch con) zine, which is currently still zine-only but will appear on ao3 at some point in the future, and i also wrote something for this year's Starsky & Hutch Advent Calendar, which can be found here (which will also lead you to all the other lovely advent calendar gifts of 2023 and previous years!). neither of these things would have happened if starsky & hutch fandom hadn't been such a warm, welcoming, unbelievably well-organized space. <3
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Projects for 2024 👀
oh god. oh god i have so many things on the grill.
the end of 2023 was a stretch of time where i did write some, and at times even a very decent amount, but nothing seemed to be getting finished - which was annoying for a bit, and then sort of petered out into oh well. it'll happen, eventually, when it wants to. which means that currently i have a whole bunch of nearly finished things for a whole bunch of fandoms:
bad buddy - should this be top of the list? who knows. but oh, i need to write something for this - i have to, i need to, you know. it's just that it's turning out to be more of a challenge than most new things i start writing for, because i do feel i have a reasonable grip on the characters, but the fact that it's a thai series which i'm only consuming through fan-generated subtitles is clashing with some of the fundamentals of how i usually write fic, as it turns out. usually i watch a thing and then mimic character voices to write a section of (probably mostly, maybe only) dialogue, which then gets filled out with descriptions and an actual setting later on. the problem with bad buddy is that i love, love subtitles, and i love, love the people who write them, but they do (understandably! naturally!) lead to some very clunky english at times, and i just can't write things like "are you chickened out, fierce eyes". i cannot. which means i need to half-invent the right english character voice (and how that blends with the little i know of thai speaking patterns and customs), which takes away the thing i usually lean on way more heavily than i previously realized i did, so. it's a journey! it's an experiment! i'm learning things! i'm making choices! and i'm pumped about it but it's also REALLY slowing down the bad buddy fic production.
starsky & hutch - many things are happening! many many! they're just happening slowly. there's one particular fic about starsky and hutch comfortably out at a party and hutch fielding questions about names which has been 98% done for a month or two, but i need one (1) more connective paragraph to wrap things up, and apparently i'm in no hurry. and i love that for me, at the same time as i'm tempted to flick my brain and go Do It. Just Do It. oh god, and then there's a much older comedy fic stuck in close to the same situation only there it's 95% and the missing part is the end, which is at least a little more serious, and there are. i think literally a dozen probably. things that are cooking, bubbling, making interesting little noises. it's yet to be seen which of those turn out tasty.
h50 - there are some shorter wips here that have great potential to go somewhere, but mostly i want to finally (finally!) wrap up a flip-flop state of mind, which only needs finishing touches (albeit a bunch of them) on the final chapter, and then maybe 200 more words for the short epilogue to round things out. i had somewhat hoped to get that done before the new year, but it didn't work out that way, and i'm at peace with it - the longer this fic takes, the more comical my initial estimate of "i can probably get this done within the month" becomes. and after that's done, i can refocus my energy on Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola, another ill-fated plan which i Will see through (while also enjoying myself), dammit, but i think for that one i'll need to pre-write the whole thing before i start posting again or i'll just keep going in circles.
nashville - it's been a while since my rewatch, so i'm not sure it will ever really come together, but i have a fun little 5+1 will/gunnar thing which lives half in a google docs file and half in my heart. could be nice!
sga - there's One Fic that's near done and has a few turns of phrase in it that keep making me go "oh, this might be worth finishing, actually" every time i return to it, but i think i'll need to let that happen a few more times before we actually get there. there's also a light and comedy-ish aro/ace john fic (heavily featuring john&rodney and john&team) on a low boil. i think that one might need to wait for me to rewatch the show at some point so i'm correctly immersed in the Vibes of it all, but it's very dear to me, so it still gets a permanent In Progress label.
due south - there's one particular thing that i might get back to? maybe. it could happen. @redgoldblue's dedicated live reporting on their due south watch, as well as their ds fic, did stir something in my brain.
other - there's literally two paragraphs of hard core logo fic kicking around in my notes which might turn into something some day. (when i started writing 3AM those new words were intended to blend with the two existing paragraphs, but they never did.) there's some ted lasso that can still be considered wip, but my ted lasso fic moment burned bright and short, it seems, though it's nice to know the framework is there if i ever do a rewatch. oh man, and there's a weird homoerotic over the top (because that's what this canon is) tango & cash wip which i hope will make it across the finish line some day, but i wouldn't be surprised if in the end that's, like. coming to an ao3 page near you soon! in 2026.
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Tagging ✨
tag any number of people you want as far as i'm concerned (which can be zero! that's a valid number), but i haven't spotted this going around in my fandom circles yet, so i'll shoot for some good coverage: @redgoldblue @luredin @actingcamplibrarian @stephmcx @pterawaters @the-arya-silvertongue @logicgunn @incognito-insomniac @dedkake @spaceradars @spurious @sparrowsarus @flownwrong @theroseandthebeast @jimmyandthegiraffes @soleadita @ivycross @murphyhatesme @bgharison @thekristen999 @cowandcalf @msbeeinmybonnet @ruztyryan and you, reading this. i fully tagged myself to do this, so please don't feel shy about doing the same! i really do want to read your answers, if you feel like giving them.
obviously there's no pressure, and also feel free to modify this any way you want! give different stats, list top 5 by hits instead of kudos, name just one favorite fic, add in fics you only posted to tumblr rather than ao3, skip a category or invent a new one or throw the whole thing out and only reflect on a single piece of writing in more detail - it's all fair game, as long as it suits you.
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fanatic-writers · 8 months
Text
Adventures in Babysitting
Chapter Two: Finding Home
Previous | Masterlist | Next
A/n: Sorry this took so long, I'm going to try and update this every week or so. This part is heavily based off of season one, episode four. However, I tried to change it up a bit. The next chapter will likely focus more on some Tatooine shenanigans
Word Count: 4624
Pairing: (Eventual) Din Djarin x Mandalorian!Reader
Warnings: Canon levels of violence but it's very tame, lil bit o' angst I actually read this over once before posting it but I cannot promise that it doesn't have awful grammar
Summary: Reader is the Armorer's daughter and is also a foundling. She and Din have known each other for a long time but he was never quite able to break his shell. When the Mandalorians help Din escape with the child she is ordered to go to his ship to help him care for the thing.
Tag List: @theclassicvinyldragon
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“Where are we going?” The question was simple enough, but Din didn’t have the answer, not one that he knew would satisfy you. “Somewhere quiet.” Was all he said, he heard you mutter something about a plan but ignored it. You were tired of being cramped in the small space the Razor Crest provided. Sure, you had room to stretch your legs but that didn’t mean that the expanse of stars wasn’t getting boring. The kid seemed antsy too, babbling away in your lap as he held onto his silver ball. “I know Lil’ Bug, we’ll be somewhere soon.” You cooed down at the small child before taking him in your arms and leaving the cockpit, no doubt to make one of your many laps around the ship. Although Din supposed it was less making laps and more pacing in the ship’s hull.
He sighed when the door closed behind him, his head resting on the back of the chair. When he took this whole save the kid mission on, he never expected he’d have much company. But now, here you were, always right around the corner. You gave him his space and he was grateful for that but even he was beginning to want for an open expanse of nothingness just so he could be alone for a moment. He heard the door to his bunk slide open and a clink of a helmet before it shut again. The two of you had come to an agreement the first day you’d been on board. You’d take turns using his bunk to sleep, the other would know not to disturb you as you’d leave your helmet outside the door. If you were taking a nap, then that meant you’d managed to get the child to settle down and sleep too. Meaning, he’d have a moment of peace and quiet all to himself. He didn’t mind your company; it was nice to have a second set of hands to deal with the kid, but damn if he didn’t miss the quiet.
He hadn’t realized that he ended up dozing off himself until he heard you scolding the child for trying to crawl into his lap. “He’s sleeping.” You whispered at the small creature as you scooped him into your arms. “You can bug him later.” His eyes slipped open just in time to see you cradle the child in your arms and put him back in his seat, much to his protest. “I know little Bug, but we gotta be patient. Mando probably knows what he’s doing.” You glanced to the armor-clad man a slight teasing tone to your voice. He stirred a bit before letting himself fully wake up, stretching out a bit in the chair. “Morning.” You hummed as you watched his arms stretch over his head. “The kid is hungry and we’re starting to run out of rations.” “We’re almost there.” The Mandalorian sighed as he took the Razor Crest out of hyperdrive.
You ended up going back down to the storage area of the ship, doing your best to scavenge up some sort of snack for the kid. He had quite an appetite and sooner or later you were sure he’d eat you both out of house and home. That and he was much less likely to pester Din if his hands were full of food. The lights went out in the hull, and you frowned slightly before they flickered back on. A moment later the ship was rattling under your feet, almost knocking you over before settling once more. You heard Mando call your name from the cockpit and chuckled lightly to yourself before heading back up to the others. “I leave you alone for one second and you’re already getting yourself in trouble Bug.” You playfully scolded the child before taking him from Din and holding him in your lap as a blue-green planet came into view. You breathed a sigh of relief. “Should be far enough out that we’ll be safe. We can make the place home while we figure out what exactly we’re going to do with the kid.” He spoke to you before looking down at the kid. “You ready to lay low and stretch your legs for a couple of months you little womp rat?” Din spoke to the child, causing a soft chuckle to barely escape the modulator of your helm.
Not long after the ship was landing, you almost ran out of the thing before the doors opened, eager to get some fresh air in your system. The Mandalorian stayed behind for a moment before joining you outside “Stay close,” Mando hummed as you began to wander a bit. “The kid should stay in the ship, we’ll come back for him when we have lodging set up.” “It looks like there’s a small town up ahead, should have a cantina or something.” You spoke, turning back to him. “We can get the kid something to eat and maybe take something with us for later.” You suggested. Din just nodded and joined you in your search for food. Despite his earlier instructions, it wasn’t long before the little guy had appeared by his side. That led to you carrying the child once he started getting tired. Din watched as you seemed to make conversation with the kid. He would babble something, and you would respond with a series of I knows, makes sense to me, or you’re rights. He almost thought you understood him for a moment. Of course, you had no idea what the kid was trying to say but that didn’t stop you from trying to make him feel welcome and comfortable.
The three of you reached the small tavern in the town and ordered some stew from the kid, figuring you’d both eat later in the privacy of the Razor Crest. Din sat across from you, scanning the place before you saw him tense. “Stay here, watch the kid.” He ordered before getting up from the table and leaving. You frowned slightly and did what you were told, at least for the moment. You watched as the green child’s eyes followed Mando, letting out a sad coo. “Wait for your food and then we can go make sure he’s not doing anything stupid.” You spoke to him. True to your word, as soon as the kid had a bowl of soup in his hands you both were headed out the door and around the side where you heard a fight. The child walked in front of you, and you followed behind “Careful Little Bug.” You called after him, not too worried about his safety as you saw Din fighting someone who looked to be from the New Republic. They both paused and looked to the child before looking up at you. “Are you two done?” Din could hear the tinge of disapproval in your voice and pushed himself up, picking up the kid and moving back to the tavern, only this time the woman joined you.
The four of you all sat at a small table, you were far more focused on making sure the little one actually ate his food than the conversation at hand. Even when the two of you were younger Din had always been the one far more focused on the safety and practicality of the situation and planning for the safety of his and other’s futures. You, on the other hand, preferred to live in the moment and figure the rest out later. You only tuned back in when the woman, Cara, let you know that you’d have to move on. “Well I guess this planet is taken” Mando sighed as he looked between you and the kid. “You say that like we both haven’t spent most of our lives in hiding and like this is a small dinky planet where she be able to see us on the other side of it.” You grumbled, more so just wanting a couple more moments of not being trapped on his ship. “There isn’t anything on the other side of the planet.” Din countered and you sighed. “We’ll stay the night here, on the ship. We can pack up in the morning. There's other planets with no outposts and little business going on.” You simply nodded in response, once the kid had finished his food you ordered a couple of bowls to go and some cured meat before the three of you made your way back to the ship.
You spent the rest of the daylight outside of the Razor Crest, watching the kid wander around the area, laughing at how focused he was on Din. If you ever felt that you’d lost the little guy you could usually find him at Din’s feet, curiously watching whatever he was doing. “Go rest.” You spoke after a while. “I know you’re going to be up all night making sure everything is in order. I’ll watch the kid while you sleep.” You assured him, your gloved hand resting on his shoulder briefly. You almost thought you felt him tense under you slightly, but it was hard to tell with the beskar in the way “You have my word.” “I know I do,” Din muttered and you almost swore you heard a smile in his voice. “Don’t go too far.” You shook your head lightly “I won’t, but just so we’re clear, even if I did, we’d be fine.” You assured him. He didn’t react, just moved to stand up and make his way onto the ship to get some well-deserved sleep. As he rested you and the child played outside, making sure you were both quiet enough that nothing would disturb the Mandalorian.
When the sun started to set Din rejoined you and you gathered some of the bone broth from earlier. It wouldn’t be hot anymore, but it was still something of substance. You took him inside to eat and left a bowl of the broth and some of the cured meat for Din, hoping he’d actually eat the stuff once he was in private. You, however, didn’t eat until after the child had fallen asleep, sequestering yourself to the privacy of the small cabin area so you could take off your helmet without having to worry about anyone seeing you. Not long after you fell asleep yourself.
You were awoken a couple hours later by a soft knock on the door to the cabin “We got company” Din warned you. You waited till you heard the footsteps and voices leaving the ship before quickly slipping your helmet back over your head. You crawled out of the cabin, greeted by two men you hadn’t seen before. “We’re going to be working a job for them, clearing out some raiders.” The Mandalorian explained before handing you a box of supplies. You took them and followed him out of the ship, setting the box with the others. After a few more trips you secured the child into the vehicle you’d be using for passage and started off on your journey. But not before making a pit stop to pick up a familiar face. You waited with the child as Din convinced Cara to join the rest of you, once again keeping to yourself as they talked about the job that lay ahead of you. As they talked you laid back with the child on your stomach, pointing out constellations in the sky above you before you heard him begin to snore softly. The rest of you dozed off as well, waking up the next morning when the cart came to a stop.
You rolled your neck as you sat up, carefully placing the child next to you as you did so. You smiled to yourself at the sight of children running around, all of them interested in your small friend. You made sure to watch the child as Mando unloaded your supplies into a nearby hut. Once you were sure the child was safe you let yourself steal glances in his direction, catching him pull a blaster on one of the children that began to enter the hut. That’s one way to make an impression you thought to yourself before you slowly made your way closer to them. You kept your distance, listening closely to the conversation Din was having with the woman who was kind enough to set up a home for the three of you. As she and her child left the hut you joined Din, helping him set a few things up so you’d have an easy night. There were plans that needed to be discussed, rules that likely needed to be put in place, but for the moment you were just happy to be out of the ship and in a mostly safe place. You weren’t really concerned about the raiders; you knew Din had dealt with worse and you had the training to keep yourself and the others safe as well. With the added help of Cara, you doubted it would be much of a job. “Nice place.” You hummed as you moved about the small hut, trying to make some form of conversation with your bunkmate. Din nodded in agreement, passing you a sheet so you’d be able to section off part of the space from prying eyes. You both knew how curious children could be and doubted they understood the importance of your creed. You climbed onto a couple of boxes and made to pin the cloth where you could reach, feeling Din’s eyes on you the whole time. “You gonna stare or do you want to help?” You teased him as you stretched the cloth as far as it would go, able to section off a corner of the room where you’d be able to sleep safely knowing no one could see you. Din joined you at your side, helping to pin the fabric to the wall. His fingers brushed over yours for a moment and you tried to ignore the shiver that ran down your spine. You were here on a mission from your mother and you, and Din were just friends, you reminded yourself. Nothing more, nothing less. You sighed and ducked under the cloth, observing your handiwork from the other side “Should be good enough.” You spoke once more as you looked up at him. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to explore our surroundings a bit. Get an idea of what exactly we’re dealing with when it comes to our perimeter.” “I’ll be out in a minute with Cara to join you,” Din commented as he watched you walk out the door.
“We’re screwed.” Were the first words out of your mouth when Cara and Din joined you after their little town hall. “There's no way we manage to get everyone ready by the time those raiders come back.” You sighed as you looked between the two of them. “You heard them, they’re not leaving.” Din breathed “Better to do what we can than nothing at all. We did have a deal after all and-“ “And we can’t go back on our word.” You finished for him “This is the way.” He added “This is the way.” You replied, leaning against the walls of the hut you were gathered in “So what now?” “We get them ready.” Cara shrugged before leaving the two of you alone.
You spent the next weeks training the civilians of the town. Din and Cara focusing on fighting and shooting while you did your best to piece together some form of armor for them. You sat outside the hut you shared with Din, hammering some grommets into a piece of leather as you watched him at the makeshift shooting range. You couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy that began to brew in your chest as you saw him getting closer to Omara. You couldn’t blame him; she was beautiful and had a sharp eye. She picked up on the skills she needed easily, and you could tell she was a strong leader. The child babbled at you from your side, and you let out a breath. “What was that Bug?” You asked as you turned to look at the kid who held up a hammer towards you. You smiled under your helm and passed him a piece of scrap leather and some grommets so he could “help.” “You make a great assistant Little One.” You hummed as you got back to work, trying to push the thoughts of Din out of your head.
You were fitting the townspeople as the sun started to get lower in the sky. You’d manage to make enough chest pieces for everyone. It wasn’t your best work, but it was clear you’d put in the effort to do your best with what you had. You had a few more people to get ready before you’d start work on barricading one of the huts so the kids would stay safe during the battle. You were to stay back while Din and Cara went to make the first move. You’d be able to provide any structure they may need should Cara and Din get into trouble in the woods, or if the plan didn’t run as smoothly as you hoped it would. You were making your way back to Din, needing to fit only Omara, when you spotted the two of them at the entrance to your hut. You paused and watched them for a moment before Cara snuck up by your side. “You know you’re lucky you have a helmet covering your face.” She spoke up, causing you to jump slightly. “Can’t imagine you have the best poker face when you’re pretty much staring at him all the time.” “How do you know I’m not blinking?” You quipped back, you knew she was right, and she knew you knew, so there was no real reason to hide your feelings. “I can just tell.” She shot back before nudging you forward. “C’mon, someone’s gotta break up their little moment. We don’t have time for it, not yet anyway.” You rolled your eyes under your helm and joined her as she walked up to the two, letting them know it was time to go.
While Cara and Din made their way to the camp, you and Omara made sure everyone was in their proper positions. You stayed on the opposite side as her, the both of you able to keep an eye on the hut that housed the children should they need your help. You were hoping this would be easy, the mech would fall like it was supposed to and you, Din, and Cara could easily clear out the rest of the raiders with the help of the townspeople. Of course, things could never be easy for you. You heard Din and Cara making their way back to the barricades, giving your fellow Mandalorian a small nod that he returned. And then you waited with bated breath. You saw the glow of the eyes through the tree line, followed by thunderous crashes of the trees and the mech feet. You held your position as it crept closer and closer to the trap, and then it stopped. “Kriff” You muttered under your breath as you watched the mech scan the surroundings. As soon as its light flashed over the area you ducked behind the barricade, pulling down the people next to you. The hut behind you exploded with a blast from the AT-ST and you did your best to ignore the ringing in your ears as you and everyone else opened fire on it and the raiders that started to appear below its feet. “We need a change of plan!” You called over to Din and Cara “Working on it!” Cara yelled back. Seconds later you watched as she ran onto the battlefield before ducking into one of the pools of water. Din covered her and you made easy work of taking down as many of the raiders as you could from your spot before you realized this was going to get a tad hairy. You holstered your blaster, grabbing your vibroblade before charging in with the townspeople. You watched as one of them was knocked to the ground by a raider, slashing at him while he was busy gloating over his feeble victory. You knew you had a better chance of surviving a hit from one of them than anyone else that was out there so you had no problem putting yourself in harms way if it meant keeping as many of them alive as you could. While you were in the middle of grabbing another bandit you heard a large crash behind you. You quickly grabbed your blaster out of its spot and shot the raider before turning to look at the sight before you. The AT-ST had been taken down and the raiders took that as their sign to leave. You rolled your neck and shook the tension from your body as the field cleared. Most everyone had made it out and the village would be safe, at least for a while. You knew they at least had the skills to defend themselves now.
Din watched as you helped the villagers work, making sure everything was cleaned up. He took note of the way you always stole glances at the kid. It was peaceful here, the child was happy, and you seemed comfortable, he wouldn’t mind living like this. Omara brought a drink out to Cara, offering the same to him but he refused. “So, what happens if you do take that thing off?” Cara asked as she sipped her drink “Do they hunt you down or something?” “No, you just can’t ever put it back on again,” Din explained. “That’s it?” She looked unimpressed. “You’re telling me you can slip off that helmet, settle down with that beautiful widow, and raise your kid here sipping spotchka?” Din knew she didn’t understand fully what she was implying, but he had to admit it wasn’t a half bad idea. But then there was his creed, the kid, you. He knew he’d have to leave the planet after the commotion they’d made. He knew word would spread and people would come looking around. He could leave the kid behind; he’d be safe here. You’d give him hell for it, but it wasn’t like you couldn’t visit. He just knew that he couldn’t give the little guy the life he deserved and the safety that this planet could provide if he was traveling and taking on bounties again. You could stay if you wanted but he was sure you’d like to go home too, get back to your work and finish your training as a smith.
As he told this to Cara his eyes found you, you’d just finished something up and turned, meeting his gaze. You offered him a small wave and he acknowledged it with a nod. There was something about you that he always found intriguing, it’s why you’d gotten along as kids. You two seemed to bring balance to each other. In training he was always the one that had a plan while you’d just rush in, impatient to get things over with. You had the skills to be a great fighter if you only had a little more patience, at least that’s the way things were years ago. He wasn’t so sure now. You’d grown up, he had too, but seeing you in action the other day reminded him of your sparring sessions as children. You were always chastised for being reckless and he’d always get a comment about needing to act faster. Both of your mentors knew you could learn a thing or two from the other and so you’d often train together. It led to a sort of bond between the two of you that made for an easy friendship. For a moment you two were joined at the hip. When you’d each turned sixteen it was almost expected that he would take you to be his riduur, but life had other plans. You were both on your own paths at that point, you could be found in the forge most of the time and he was out fighting with his mentor. When he’d lost him, Din wasn’t really sure he wanted to be close to someone again and so he distanced himself from you. You tried to break through the walls he'd put up but he refused to let you in, he refused to lose someone he cared about again. And so, he convinced himself he didn’t care, that you two had grown apart. “You should probably make your plans known.” Cara’s voice pulled Din from his thoughts, and he nodded, eventually making his way out to Omara.
You had ended up joining the children at their request, they were attempting to catch frogs and other creatures from the pool of water, and they thought you might be able to help. It had been a long while since you’d allowed yourself that kind of luxury, but you were safe here, with no obligation to any sense of duty for the first time since you were found by the Mandalorians. You laughed along with them as a frog slipped from your grasp. Some of the kids ran after it while the others tried to coax the kid into catching one again. He looked to you as if asking for permission and you nodded. “Show ‘em whatcha got Little Bug.” You smiled, watching as Din made his way out into the fields. Your heart froze in its chest, a pit settling in your stomach as you watched Omara’s hands meet the side of his helmet, moving it upwards. Time seemed to move in slow motion, and you felt jealousy boil in your blood. You’d always thought he would be yours; you knew you had no right to claim him as your own, especially after how long it had been since the two of you had been close, but that didn’t stop the ache in your heart. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as his hands gripped her wrists, stopping her. If you two were to travel together you’d have to learn to push your old feelings aside. Your mother had always told you to be patient with Din, that he’d come around he just needed time and space. You’d given him that for the last 20 years and nothing seemed to change if anything he talked to you less. You’d gotten used to the fact that he hadn’t returned your feelings but seeing him with someone else almost made you feel like there was something wrong with you. Like you’d done something you didn’t know about that made him upset and that was why he had distanced himself from you.
The bang of a gunshot pulled you from your trance, your body instantly jumping into action as you grabbed the child and ushered the children around you into the nearest building. You left the kid with Winta, knowing she’d keep an eye on him as you moved out of the hut and began to round up the other children and get them to safety. Omara took over your place and you made your way to the woods where Din had gone, your blaster at the ready. When you spotted Din and Cara you lowered your weapon. “We have to go, they know he’s here,” Din spoke before moving past you and back to the village. You clenched your jaw, upset that you were losing your peace and the child was losing his safety. After taking a moment you followed the two of them back and began to pack up.  
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snowblossomreads · 1 year
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Verse Six: So I Gave Myself Over Willingly
Previous Chapter: I Never Knew My Killer Would Be Coming From Within
Summary: In where Severus opens a closed door, and [Y/n] closes it. (Or in where [Y/n] has the chance to escape but doesn't)
Pairing: Severus Snape x FemReader
Tag(s)/Warning(s): Angst (of course), Despair, Manipulation, Breaking Down, Smut [Dub-con/coercion, penetrative sex, oral (fem receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, pet names, begging]
Word Count: 12K (it's what you guys deserve)
A/N: Hits post and runs. Jk So that took waaaay longer than expected and I'm sorry 😭😭 Life has been doing some things so it's been tough to write but here we are!! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter though bc it was a tough binch to write because I had to wrap basically everything up in it so sorry if it feels a little discombobulated.. Buckle up though and make sure ur necks are sturdy so you don't get whiplash from this chapter (granted the previous one was more whiplashy i think, sorry?). But still, enjoy and I'll see you at the end!
A/N+: AND I know I said I would throw the last two chapters up at once but I lied 😅😅🤣 you guys have waited too long and deserve something so here you go!
MINORS DNI
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Something had changed after that night.
After spending all her time existing within the four walls of the room she had been stored in since she was taken, [Y/n] was now being allowed to take her meals in the kitchen. Still being supervised of course but nonetheless, she was out of that room even if only for a little while.
Snape had also given her permission to stay in the living room while he was there and at first, she had refused and made a hasty retreat back into the room unnerved by his presence.
Yet he was persistent, repeatedly asking her until she relented and found herself just sitting quietly on the sofa near him as he read or worked in that tall wingback chair of his.
Additionally, he had bought her some new clothes to wear only a few days after that incident saying a change of clothing may make her feel better. Considering that she only had the clothes that were on her back when she came it would have made sense.
Maybe it would make her feel better in the dizzying situation she was in. But it didn’t. Especially when each article of clothing fit her just right. It only made her more anxious, more nauseated.
The change of his demeanor towards her was absolutely bizarre, frightening in a way that she couldn’t put a finger on. Not only did he take her hostage and then force her into deprave acts, but now he was being pleasant, even kind to her like he didn’t do those fucked up things to her. 
And it hadn’t sat well with her, this inexplicable shift, and it caused her stomach to tighten in discomfort, a pang of nausea washing over her each time she awoke. Yet as the uncountable days started to pass and the strange sort of pleasantry became familiar, expected almost, she found that her already exhausted psyche was becoming more confused.
It became worse as he began to allow her to leave that room of her own accord. Granted she knew he was watching, and if not him then Wormtail was. She was at least thankful that she had hardly seen that particular man around since the earlier encounter with him. 
But even with that she still felt frightened at her situation. Who wouldn’t be knowing that they had nowhere else to go? Trapped with a person who seemed to have two sides to them and was seemingly manipulating everyone around them. 
Herself included. 
These thoughts of fear and wariness swirled in the depths of her mind every single day that she had been there and it was absolutely exhausting.
So it was when he brought up going outside with him at the kitchen table where they sat, him reading the Daily Prophet while she picked at her breakfast, that she couldn’t help but be stunned into silence. Though it wasn’t as if she was talkative in the first place with him.
“I’m going into a muggle village today for some items.”
“Oh.”
Head tilted downwards, she barely acknowledged what he had said as her eyes gazed blankly at the food in her bowl while she swirled it absentmindedly with her spoon. Why would she care that he would be gone? All it meant was that she would be locked up again within the four walls of that room.
“Would you like to accompany me?”
The circular motion of the spoon stopped immediately at his words and for a split second so did her breathing. Accompany him outside? What kind of sick game was he playing at? To dangle such an offer out to her knowing to be outside and free was the only thing she had wanted since she had been there. 
To offer such a thing only for it to probably be snatched away the moment she answered in the affirmative. It was cruel. But what more could she expect from him? Her silence had Snape peering over the paper in his hand one eyebrow raised as he studied her frozen form.
“Or would you prefer to be kept here?”
Yet, even those thoughts of him toying with her couldn’t stop the outburst that left her in a panic when he interrupted her spiraling. 
“No!”
Head shooting up from its bowed position, [Y/n] watched as his eyebrows quirked up at her and the uncharacteristically lively way she had answered. And if she could see behind the paper that was partially obscuring his face, she would have seen thin lips drawn up into a minuscule smirk. 
Warmth prickled at her skin as she dropped her head back down, trying to avoid his examining gaze that she could still feel on her. It almost made her wish that she was still in that room because the crawling sensation he made her feel was unbearable at times. This being one of those times
“No, I meant I would like to come,” she began while gingerly dragging her fingers up and down her thighs trying to soothe herself before more quietly adding, “it’s been a while.” 
Falling silent after giving him an answer, the only sound between them was him turning the page of the newspaper causing it to rustle, and the white noise that she had become all too used to in this place. 
Moments passed in that silence and each one had her stomach tightening, her heart dropping and fingers digging into her legs as the chance of going outside seemed to grow further and further away each second he didn’t acquiesce. Who was she playing though? Did she really think he would let her accompany him outside? Truly-
“If that’s so,” he muttered looking at her barely touched bowl of food, “I advise you to hurry along with your meal. We leave in ten minutes and I expect you’ll need all of your strength.”
Looking up and going to meet his gaze, [Y/n] was only met with the moving pictures on the front page of the newspaper before going to stare down at her food. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been actually hungry as her diet consisted mostly of fear that left her unwilling to eat. 
But with the promise of going outside, and maybe, just maybe having a chance of freeing herself, she forced herself to eat the meal that was empty of taste and warmth.
It had taken her almost the full ten minutes to finish her food, and Snape had no problem inserting a remark here or there as time ticked closer. 
‘Hm, to think the promise of a walk outside was all you needed to be more responsive. How quaint.’
‘I’m almost done with this page and I would hurry if I were you.’
And as much as it would rattle her when he vaguely threatened to take away that chance of freedom, it had worked because the moment he closed the newspaper, she was staring at him, bowl empty and eyes pleading.
“Well then,” he said, placing the paper down, getting up, and walking beside her seated form before looking down at her. “Shall we?
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The moment she felt the warm breeze fluttering across her face, [Y/n] felt a tight ball of emotion begin to work its way up from her stomach before it sat heavily in her chest. 
Tears that she had thought were long shed attempted to prick at her eyes again as even in the gloominess of wherever this house was, she could still see that there were trees that had bright greenery adorning them. 
Greenery that had not been on any plant the last time she had been outside. How long had passed since she had been gone? After the first few weeks, she could barely keep up with time as it had been the least worrying thing on her mind.
“Now,” Snape’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and she flinched when she felt his fingers tightly enveloping her wrist. Looking up at him she was met with a raised brow. “I’m sure I don’t have to remind you but for your sake know that any funny business will get you nowhere. Understand?”
Funny business? And if she attempted any of that, what would he do? Kill her in front of all the muggles? Surely even he couldn’t obliviate all those people if he wanted to and even so he wasn’t at all stupid to cause a scene. 
No, that would be too simple, and with the glint in his dark eyes, [Y/n] could tell that it indeed would not be the case. So she couldn’t help but nod in agreement, a timid,
“Yes,” leaving her as even in the warm air a chill seemed to run down her spine at the look he gave her. Something told her a quick death would not be in store for her if she did try to do anything.
Seemingly pleased by that answer, he pulled her with him into the alleyway that divided the two buildings, not paying attention to the way she stumbled behind him before stopping in place. It almost caused her to bump into him yet he didn’t seem at all phased as he glanced around the area for any other sight of life.
“Hold on tight.”
His words were the last thing she heard before a squeak fell from her lips as he dropped her hand from his hold only to wrap his arms tightly around her. 
Head snapping up to look at him she felt a wave of nausea replace the feeling in her stomach as the sound of wind shrilled in her ear and her body felt as if it was being squeezed tightly. 
The vision of trees, the sky, and muggle machines passed by her in a whirlwind before a barely audible pop rang in her ear and they were standing upright again on solid ground.
Feeling his arms release her, [Y/n] made a step forward before a wave of nausea had her stumbling a bit. 
‘Perks of not apparating for a long time.’
She thought to herself as her hand flew blindly to the side to grab onto the wall to keep herself from falling flat onto the ground.  But instead of meeting the hard stone of the ground, she felt an arm wrap around her waist pulling her back gently.
“Tsk, steady you silly thing,” Snape murmured as his hand drifted to her lower back causing a shiver to climb up her spine at his firm touch.
“I’m fine.” She lied, gulping down the uneasy feeling bubbling in her stomach and turning back to look at him. For a moment when her eyes laid on him, she swore she saw an amused smile tug at his lip before it fell.  
Letting her go, he watched her take another step forward, less unsteady this time and more grounded.
“Thank you.” Her words of gratitude held hesitation and he merely shrugged before walking past her not even looking to see if she would follow.
“Mhm, come along then.”
Watching his back face her she began to follow in his footsteps not once even thinking to turn the other direction or apparate herself away from the place mind still hung on his words from earlier.
Venturing out of the alleyway they apparated into and blending in with the muggles, she followed him silently toward the many stands that lined the area.
It was lively. Crowded with muggles of all ages as they spoke to the sellers behind tables or stands while looking at the different wares that were being sold and trading banter amongst each other.
The noise of the conversations in the area had her wincing a bit, her senses no longer used to so much racket as it had been forever since there had been so many people around her.
She wondered, just briefly as they stopped in front of a stand selling a variety of produce and herbs, what they would do if they knew that a witch and wizard were only feet from them. 
Buying items just as they would acting as if this was an everyday occurrence for them even though it was not. Because it wasn’t every day someone's captor willingly brought them out. 
Eyeing him for a second, [Y/n] began to look around the area. Taking in the sights and people silently as Snape droned on to the merchant standing at the stall. 
Everyone there seemed to be so happy, exuberant in the sunlight that was pounding down on them as they went about their business. Children playing around as parents tried to corral them together. Teenagers hanging out with others speaking loudly and laughing. 
There was a joyful mood all around her. Yet she felt none of that joy while scanning the horizon. Even when her eyes landed on a figure standing on the far opposite of the stall they were at. 
Hands placed in their pocket as they watched over the people going and coming. The person looked most out of place with how stiff and uncomfortable they were. 
It was written all over their body how they didn’t seem to know how to act around all the people. Additionally, the clothes they wore didn’t match any of the muggle styles that the other people had on. No, it was more something a witch or wizard would wear thinking muggles would wear the same. 
And it was the same mistake that a lot of the trainees made during her time in Auror training. Failing to disguise oneself probably. All that to say the person she was staring at and who was currently failing their training was an Auror. 
Not a full fledged Auror no. But one in training at least and probably currently working on their concealment and disguise ability considering how easy it was to spot how out of place they were. 
That also meant that a real Auror, one that she may have worked with before or known, was here. Watching the student and also paying attention to their surroundings. 
Knowing that, it was as if her brain had suddenly snapped back on, words written almost in big red letters scrawled across her mind telling her to:
Run.
She could do it if she truly wanted to. Escape. Make a scene and attract the Auror's attention. She didn’t have to stay with the man who at the moment was paying no mind to her.
Yes, if she could just get the attention of the trainee somehow without Snape noticing her she would be free! Her heart raced at the thought. Eyes almost welling up with tears yet doing her best to tamp down any emotion that would bring his attention to her.
Scanning the area she tried to determine who was who if there was at least a friend in the area that she had not seen and vice versa. Of course, she didn’t think it would be easy looking for a trained Auror who would be perfectly disguised yet as she looked and searched she saw nothing. 
Saw no one looking at her or paying her any mind. No, everyone continued to go on their way enjoying their time out as they passed by happy and unaware that danger lurked around the corner. 
And then a thought hit her square in the face. If she ran, if she made a scene. What would happen to the muggles around her? Surely Snape was not going to just let her go. She wasn’t naive to believe that considering if she was found he would be receiving a one way ticket to Azkaban.
No, he would make sure she didn’t leave here alive regardless of any of the muggles around. What were a few muggle lives to avoid being sent to probably one of the worst places a witch or wizard could go? As that thought came another reared its head. What would happen to her if she got away? 
There was no doubt in her mind she would be brought back to the Ministry and questioned about all she had seen and all that happened. But what then? 
Let her go and go on about her life? 
Go home?
To an empty house that had death soaked into its walls and floor? 
What about the large target on her back she was sure she would have the moment she ran for it? Even if she was lucky and escaped, she would have to hide from Death Eaters until a day when they were no longer a threat.
Sure she could have other Aurors around her protection, or maybe stay at the Ministry for an indefinite time until it was safe but when would that happen? What made her so sure that any of the Aurors could protect her even if they tried? She had seen how the Death Eaters wiped out her team with ease so how would just a few Aurors work against them? 
And if she stayed at the Ministry what would happen if  You-Know-Who got the reign of terror he wanted? It would have all been for nothing. 
These thoughts bounced in her brain over and over spinning tangled webs of scenarios of how her running would turn out. And the frightening part was that they all seemed to lead down a road of living in despair, fear, and every so often death.  
“[Y/n]?”
Having been drowning in those thoughts, she hadn’t recognized her name being called, eyes glazed over as she stared at the spot where the Auror to be once stood. 
But they were no longer occupying that spot, no longer close enough to see and she had realized at that moment she had missed her chance. Missed her way to freedom that had been so close yet held away from it by a fear that had seemed to come from nowhere.
“[Y/n].”
The firmness in his voice along with feeling his hand landing on her lower back jolted her out of her trance, her eyes landing on him as tears pricked at her eyes. 
“Yes?” She whispered, the fire and adrenaline of seemingly almost free leaving her and being replaced with a hollowed out feeling that made her feel almost ill.
“You seemed tired,” he started, eyebrow raised as he examined her features, no doubt seeing how glassy her eyes were, “I think that is enough, no?”  
For a moment there was a silence between them that seemed to suck all the noise around them away before she answered him.
“Yes…I think so too.”  
The hand that he had placed on her back slipped down and away from her before she felt his digits brush her limp ones. A sense of unease usually filled her whenever he touched her like this, yet now she felt nothing. 
Instead, she made no effort to pull away like usual when he went to envelop her trembling hand with his own steady and firm grip allowing him to guide them back to the alleyway they had arrived from and apparating back to his home. 
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When they returned, the rest of the day had been spent in a silence that was normal for them now. But they both knew another change had occurred. One that she didn’t want to acknowledge as it would make it real, and one he didn’t want to force out of her because well, there was no gain in that.
So when she was summoned from her room after skittering back into it almost voluntarily when they returned, Snape couldn’t help but truly examine her slumped form as she entered the kitchen. The longer she had been holed up in this place, the more her body language showed how physically tired she was. 
Dark circles had long painted themselves under her eyes from the tormenting nightmares that stayed with her from morning to night. Not even in her dreaming, where one should be able to at least forget what the day brought, had she been safe from his entrapment as she had found out quickly enough. 
Yet he still could tell that even through all of it, that there had been a fighting spirit in her. A defiance that burned and a naive hope that she would get out of the situation that she had landed herself in. 
But this weariness she showed to him at the moment seemed different. There was no light in her eyes. No amount of defiance radiated from her as she quietly sat across from him, not even acknowledging the food in front of her. 
There was nothing. Just her and him in a world that probably no longer acknowledged that she had been a part of it. Not when she had been missing for so long without as much of a trace of where she had gone to. 
Not that the Ministry would ever find one that is. 
It was Snape that broke the silence between them just as he had done that morning, eyes squarely on her as she finally began to pick at her food. 
“I hope that I can bring you out again.”
A simple statement that needed no responding to. Not that he was expecting one from her as she mindlessly brought a spoonful of food to her mouth.
“I don’t care for it but it seems to do you well.”  
He continued, bringing his cup up towards his lips to drink from while just taking in the sight of her sagging shoulders and how her eyes stared pointedly at the bowl in front of her. 
“Why didn’t you try to run?”
That finally seemed to have captured her attention as her hand froze midway through scooping up the food in her bowl. For a moment she stayed that way not looking up at him, eyes still glued on the meal in front of her. 
Not one to enjoy repeating himself, he waited, giving her time to fill the silence with her answer.
“What do you mean?”
Her voice was barely above a whisper as she kept her face low while the grip on her spoon tightened.
“Don’t play dumb with me,” he sneered, tone laced with annoyance yet devoid of any real malice towards her as he continued. “Do you not think I know an Auror when I see one? You all are hardly as inconspicuous as you try to make yourself be.”
Silence blanketed them again but this time there was a tension in it like a tightly wound knot that was about to unravel or an invisible crackle in the air that only needed a spark to ignite. And the spark came with his next words.
“You had your chance yet here you are still,” Snape pointed out eyes still on her, “surely a mind as brilliant as yours knows why.”
“I don’t know.” 
“You don’t…know?”
There was an incredulous quality in his tone as he repeated the weak response that she had given. 
“Is that all…you don’t know?” He asked, watching as her sagging shoulders tensed up as she placed the spoon that she had held so tightly down.
“Maybe,” she murmured almost inaudibly, lifting her head revealing a pointed glare at him while trying to hold in the tears that had been burning in her eyes since they had returned. “Maybe it was because I was worried about the muggles that were there who might get hurt if something happened,” she answered, voice shaking yet gaining in volume. 
“Or maybe it’s because if I ran, and managed to escape somehow  I wouldn’t even be able to sleep, wouldn’t be able to live because I’m scared some Death Eater is going to come barreling through my door trying to kill me like they did my parents and brother!”
A shrill tone had seeped its way into her voice as [Y/n] suddenly shot up from her chair, knocking it backward with a loud clatter that she ignored as she stomped over to him. Unflinchingly, he watched her approach him, his expression neutral as he watched a range of emotions twist her features before it stopped at one. 
Despair.
Slamming her hands on the edge of the table causing the dinnerware to shake she stood over him, tears beginning to stream down her face. “Or is it,” her breath hitched, “i-is it because I know when I go home, there will be no one? Absolutely no one there. Because of me.” 
“Does that make you happy?” She shouted her voice cracking from the intensity as her body trembled with the grief that she had been carrying for months at that point. 
Refusing to wipe the tears out of her eyes she stared at him with her blurred vision. His expression was fixed the entire time she had been screaming at him, unaffected by her cries and tears and it wasn’t unexpected. There was no twitch of his lips, no raise of a brow like he would usually have done. 
Nothing.
He just sat there cold and distant as she broke into a million pieces in front of him. It shouldn’t have hurt her so much yet she couldn’t help the sudden weakness that seized hold of her limbs. Weighing her down as any strength from her was sapped. 
“Is that what you wanted to hear me say?” She whispered before her shaking legs gave out causing her to collapse on the floor in a weeping pile. Hands coming up to bury her face in them as sob after choked sob was pulled out from her while she trembled and cried.
“My family,” she rasped, her voice loud and raw filled with the agony that maybe if she had been more careful all of this would have never happened and her family and friends would have been still alive. Gasping for air, she tried to speak yet it was too much, all of it was just too much.
Instead of words, a cry left her lips that was immensely piercing as she lunged forward, arms wrapping around herself as she wept. It had been so ear-splitting that it covered the sound of Snape’s chair scraping against the ground before he was next to her on the floor. 
Arms finding their place around [Y/n] he dragged her close to him in an embrace as his hand began to stroke circles on her lower back. Yet as comforting as embraces were supposed to be, this one only had her sobbing louder as she stayed in his arms too tired and distraught to try and fight him away.
“Why, why did this have to happen,” she gasped out trying to claw back as much air into her lungs as she could, “if I- if I would have just died that day they-they-.”
Unable to finish her thought as her mind swirled over and over with guilt about everything that had happened, another noisy cry left her body as she sunk completely into his embrace no longer caring that he was holding her.  
It was all just too much.
“Shh enough of that now.” Snape hummed as she shuddered with each shaky breath she took trying to regain some control over her emotions. 
Cooing at her, he continued to rub small circles on her lower back as if trying to comfort her, his voice low and silky as he whispered in her ear. “There was nothing you could have done to save your family [Y/n] you did your best. ” 
Had she been thinking clearly and not being strangled with the unrelenting thoughts of her failures, she would have cursed at him, hit him, and pushed him away yet all she did was continue to cry as she listened to him speak. 
“But even though they are no more,” he murmured softly, his lips ghosting against her ear causing her breath to become more uneven and her skin to prickle, “I would think they would prefer their daughter to be in capable hands, no? Someone who could take care of you and keep you from the same harm that came upon them,” he continued, lips caressing over the juncture of her neck as he spoke. “It would make them happy, wouldn’t it? And you’ve always done what you could to make them happy right?”
Pausing his speech, he pulled away to look at her yet her eyes stayed lowered as her mind reeled with the implications of his words. Without him, she would be alone having been her only contact with the world for a while not including today. 
Though even when she was out there she had felt utterly alone even when surrounded by those people. Even when she could have escaped, her thoughts always seemed to have ended back to Snape. Whether it be what he would do to others or what he would do to her to make her stay. 
So if she escaped, she would be in danger for an undetermined amount of time. But if she stayed at least she would be safe from the wrath of any Death Eater. He had also been kinder to her recently as if trying to wipe the memories of earlier on away. It was strange but it had been welcomed even if she had been on edge about it. 
But fighting him all this time didn’t work, it was never going to work and she knew that from the moment she was given to him and he refused to let her go. And she was utterly exhausted, waking up every day with little to no autonomy along with the fear of him just getting tired of her resistance and outright killing her once his patient facade ran out.
So it was okay, right? Okay, for her to accept it, to ease the suffering that was crushing her heart, suffocating her, and clouding her mind every day. Okay to do something to avoid the pain the future would no doubt bring if she didn’t accept it. Right?
You don’t have to fight anymore. Just stay. 
Dimmed eyes finally turned to look at him, tears still clinging to her eyelids as she gazed up at the concerned expression that he wore. That was a first. To see any other look from him other than contempt, or just pure uninterest.  
“Y-you, won’t let them hurt me?” She stuttered out, looking into his dark eyes that seemed to dig into her mind as she bargained with herself.
With a shake of his head, he leaned down slightly closing some distance between them before bringing a hand up to caress her tear-stained cheek softly. 
It was almost lovingly the way the back of his palm slid against her skin. Slowly, with no haste in his movement which caused a shiver to crawl up her spine and a knot to begin to grow in her stomach as he captured her attention with his words and actions.
“Never,” his voice was no louder than a murmur, it was deep, and dark as it vibrated inside her while his lips neared her ear. “No witch or wizard will ever be able to hurt you [Y/n],” he whispered, causing her breath to hitch at his closeness, at the way his voice seemed to seep deeper into her causing something in her body to awaken. “Let me keep you safe, isn’t that what you wanted all this time? To be safe?”
Safe. 
She had hardly known what that felt like for so long. To be safe. To not wake up and fall asleep worried about what would happen to her. To not have to consider what would happen to her if she did run away. 
No, if she stayed put at least she would have some idea of what was to come for her. At least in this hell, she knew the devil who ruled it, and what he wanted from her. 
If he had wanted to kill her, he would have done that months, weeks, or days ago. He had every chance to. However, here she was with his arms wrapped around her, body pressed against hers, and what seemed to be a sincere look on his face. 
One that lulled her into a stillness, had her shoulders slumping and had the last drops of tears being blinked away. As inaudible as the way her resolve shattered in front of them, it was the same as the word that fell quietly from her lips.
“Okay.” 
It was so hushed that had he not been close to her, had there been any other noise right before she spoke neither of them would have heard it. 
Her voice was unrecognizable to herself as she gazed up at him, the realization of her signing away her freedom to him long buried in the depth of her mind. Because what was signing something away that you didn’t have in the first place?
“I’ll stay, I won’t try to run or leave again,” [Y/n] whimpered, as she searched his face for any sign of understanding, “ so please just, just…” 
Her words trailed off as her mind replayed his vile words to her in the beginning. The assaults, the sleeplessness, and invading of her own mind to twist it and doubt the feelings she had. Yet somehow all of that began to be clouded over with a strange relief.
Relief born out of knowing that by accepting to stay she would never have to face that again. Never have to face danger again. Just stay and exist. 
The thought itself was pleasant. Something she had wanted even if this was not the way she thought she would get it.
As if he could understand her without words, Snape simply nodded. 
He went to stroke her cheek once more while the arm already wrapped around her drew her closer to him in a firm and protective grip. Warmth radiated from their bodies as they sat near each other, [Y/n] almost on his lap as she clinged to him like a sort of lifeline. 
A sight to behold for both of them if they saw it from another view, as Snape leaned his head down towards her, his lips skimming against her forehead ghosting over the skin before hovering just inches away from hers. 
There was a tremble in her, yet she didn’t pull away, didn’t try to rip herself from him in disgust and realization. Instead, her fingers tightened their grip on his shirt as she swallowed before tilting her head up just enough that their lips brushed against each other. 
Her movement was all it took before Snape was pressing his lips lightly against hers. Sealing their pact as he dropped the hand from her cheek and took hold of her with both arms. 
Their bodies were crushed together as a soft mewl caught in [Y/n] throat at the sensation of being held so tightly and protectively. 
Being kissed so lightly yet feeling a furious undercurrent right beneath it that took her breath away as her eyes fell close and she allowed herself to be pulled into his desires.  
“Let me keep you safe.” 
Words husked out as she looked at Snape with lidded eyes and swollen lips as he pulled away from her. Mind in a haze, she nodded at him and watched as he stood. 
And for a moment he hovered over her, eyes raking over her disheveled form that was practically laid out in front of him before going to help her up. Wobbly on her feet, she let him guide her out of the kitchen, past the living room, and up the stairs. 
Her eyes never left his form, as she trailed behind him. Their fingers entwined as they passed the room that she had reluctantly called hers for all this time. 
Its door stood open, light filtering in yet she paid no heed to it as they went past it. No, there was no light where she was going as they went deeper down the hallway before Snape was opening the door to another room.
His own.
Had she had time she would have observed all that was around her. From the items placed on shelves to the stack of chests that sat in the corner of the room.
But there was none as when they passed the threshold of the door, she was immediately being spun around to face him. His hands reached down, tugging at the hem of her skirt yanking it and her underwear off with little resistance from [Y/n] who made no move to stop him. 
Next was the blouse that he had brought to her a number of days ago. That and her bra were unceremoniously torn off her and discarded somewhere to the side causing her to shiver at the sudden cold air that kissed her skin. 
The discomfort was suddenly forgotten as she felt herself being engulfed in his arms, his lips finding the spot on her neck and a hand cupping her ass squeezing harshly and causing a low whimper to leave her. 
Slowly he walked them back, his mouth sucking and kissing at her bare skin as heat corded in her stomach from the way he squeezed and caressed her behind. 
With each step he took forward, she moved backward and before long, a surprised sound left her throat when the back of her legs hit the bed and she found herself tumbling onto the soft sheets and plush mattress that was his bed. 
For a second she couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by his scent that lingered on his bedspread. It was dark, intoxicating, and oddly sensual as she lay upon the silky sheets that felt so good against her skin. 
If she could stay there forever, she probably would as she never felt so immensely drawn to something so suddenly. Slowly she dragged herself further up the bed so that she was basically laying right in the middle of it. 
Peeking up at him with lidded eyes, dark eyes glittered when they met her own unsure ones, holding her attention as he began to shed his clothing. First, the frock coat was tossed to the ground, then the cravat that was nestled comfortably around his neck fell on top of it. 
The white button up dress shirt underneath came next, leaving his upper body bare as his digits began to slowly move down to his trousers. 
It was as if she was hypnotized as she watched him, his fingers brushing against the impression of his arousal. Stroking it languidly as he watched her stare at him. 
Her breath picked up slightly and her core throbbed when he began to unbutton himself and [Y/n] couldn’t stop her thighs from clenching together. 
Her body, already excited from his touches and kisses, was becoming even more aroused at the sight in front of her and what was to come. But she couldn't stop the way her eyes snapped close and how she turned her head away from him as he began to remove his trousers. 
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen his cock before. He had used her mouth more than once for his pleasure and her torture. Even fucked her in her dreams. 
However, all she could do now was listen to the sound of him shuffling his clothes off, a quiet groan filling the room before she felt the bed dip beneath her, and sensed his body hovering over hers. 
“Open your eyes,” he hummed, taking her chin gingerly into his hands and turning her so she was facing him. 
She couldn’t, even if she wanted to open them she couldn’t as it felt like there were weights holding them close. And had it been any other time before this, he would have probably forced them open to look at what he was doing to her body. 
Make her watch as he unraveled her knowing where exactly to touch and kiss to have her mind and body dueling each other for control. But he didn’t. 
Instead, he leaned down and pressed feathery kisses against her closed eyelids. Trailing down to take her lips in a brief kiss before he began to suck at her neck. A sigh escaped [Y/n] as he began to kiss and suck love marks into her skin that would no doubt be bruised the next day. 
The vision of her body being littered with marks from him made him groan into her skin as he felt his arousal become harder at the thought. 
Lips pressed against her neck one last time, he began to pepper hot kisses down her throat, sucking and licking all the way down until he reached the swell of her breast. Watching as her chest moved up and down with each shaky breath, Snape kissed her warm skin once more before looking up at her.
“[Y/n] open your eyes.” He commanded in that soft, yet domineering tone of his that had her eyes squeezing tighter and her fingers gripping the sheets underneath her. 
A whimper fell from her as she shook her head from side to side. No matter how much she tried, it just felt like her eyelids were glued shut not wanting to open and experience what was happening. She just couldn’t open them and maybe it was because somewhere in the back of her mind she was still holding out. Holding to some resistance that did not want to let go.
“I-I can’t.”
Expecting him to lose his patience with her, and preparing for the cruel man she had first met to come alive again she tensed as she felt him blow warm air against her nipples. In an instant, they tightened from the sensation and the temperature change causing goosebumps to rise on her skin.
His digits trailed up her body leaving a tingling sensation in its trail before he was cupping the round velvety flesh in his hands. Squeezing it between his digits before massaging the skin and leaving kisses all around it.
“Very well.” 
For a moment there was just stillness. Only the sound of their breaths mingled in the air as his fingers flicked at the hardened buds, rolling them in between each digit and pulling the sensitive flesh. 
A moan caught in her throat as the sensation had her heart feeling as if it would burst out of her chest while the feeling of want intensified in her stomach and had her throbbing. Over and over he rolled them causing her to sigh and arch until,
“Ah!” 
Eyes snapping open at the sharp pain that suddenly shocked her body replacing the pleasure that was coursing through her, a cry of surprise clawed itself out from her throat as she felt his teeth sink into her soft flesh. 
Craning her head to look at him, she was met with glittering eyes staring back at her shocked expression before the groan of pain died down to a whine as he began to suck at the tender flesh. 
His gaze was trained on her as his tongue swirled around the aching skin in an attempt to soothe the pain as his fingers rolled and pulled at her other nipple. 
With every suck, and pinch he watched her reactions, the way her eyes became lidded again, how she bit her bottom lip to keep a moan at bay. How she stared at him like she was caught in her own trance unable to break away from the pleasure that was churning in her body from his actions.
“Good girl.”
His praise came out as a growl, low, and guttural, causing the vibrations from it to sink into her skin, bury themselves into her bones and run up her spine as he continued to worship her soft chest. 
Broken whimpers and sighs formed and spilled from her lips as he moved to play with her other breast, giving it the same treatment as the other but this time only scraping the nipple with his teeth before taking it between his lips and sucking at it harshly. 
Feeling the hand that had found hold on her waist earlier begin to travel down her body, [Y/n] sucked in a harsh breath, stilling as his fingers stroked her lower stomach before slowly making their way in between her spread thighs that quivered.
Massaging the fleshy skin of her inner thigh, he squeezed the area lightly, while continuing to nibble at her hardened buds. Moving from one to the other making sure they were both tended to as his hand continued its journey upward before it was finally cupping her soaked opening.
“Mmph!” 
Feeling the palm of his hand come into contact with her entrance had her moaning out, her hips bucking down in his hold involuntarily as he began to grind his hand against her. 
Moan after strangled moan left her throat as she rolled her hips, mind forgetting about any sort of resistance she tried to hold on to as the pulsing in her cunt grew stronger with each press of her hips towards his palm.
Everything felt so dizzying and intoxicating and it only worsened as he released her sore and swollen nipple from his lips. A smirk grew on his expression as he leaned up to capture her bottom lip sucking at it before pressing their lips together in a heated kiss.
Tongue swiping at her lips, Snape wasted no time and removed the palm of his hand from her cunt, causing a whine to leave her and her hips to jerk, already missing his touch. 
But it was only for a second as a high pitch sound left her lips, parting them open and giving him entrance to her as his fingers began to rub her already sensitive clit which had begun to throb as soon as she started to grind against his hand. 
Pressing his fingers against her pearl, he began to rub harsh tight circles against it as he continued kissing her and drinking in her moans. His tongue encircling hers, stroked and teased it before he felt her shyly begin to move her own tongue against his. 
Her actions had him groaning into her mouth pressing down further into her and, stealing almost all the will he had not to ravage her body right then as she began to finally accept him. 
Tongue swirling around his, licking it, tasting him, and exploring just as he was doing to her, [Y/n] couldn’t help but sigh from his touch and his kiss. 
For a moment he let her have her fun, let her do some teasing before he began to bully her curious little appendage into submission and exploring the rest of her waiting mouth as she melted underneath him. 
Her body loosened completely to him as her eyes fluttered closed and her mind only thought of the pleasure his mouth and hands were bringing her. 
Each press into her clit had her moaning into him, legs tensing and stomach clenching while her cunt ached and fluttered around nothing. Waiting and wanting for something to fill it up to soothe the throbbing that had become incessant. 
He held her there for what felt like an eternity, kissing and stroking her, cording her pleasure tighter and tighter. Making her moan louder into his mouth and grind her wetness against him as she gave him what he had been looking for. 
And as the throbbing in her lower body became stronger, singling that she was reaching her end, she couldn’t help the sob that was ripped from her as he suddenly pulled his fingers away. 
“Becoming needy now aren’t we?” He teased, pulling away from her lips and taking in her quivering form beneath him as a whimper broke free from her. 
Wide eyes and dilated pupils stared back up at him with desire and need burning in them as her lips, swollen and wet from the heated kisses he had placed on them, trembled.  
Leaning down and pressing his lips against her cheek in a gentle kiss, he began to move down on her body. Leaving kisses down her chest and stomach until he settled between her legs, eyes landing on her swollen opening that glistened with her juices that almost seemed to be dripping out of her.
It made his stomach burn, and his cock throb as he took in the sight of what his teasing had done to her. His eyes stayed fixated on her opening, how it seemed to clench and unclench looking for something to fill the void that was there. 
The sight was utterly vulgar and utterly delicious as he licked his thin lips, fingers going to spread her open filling the air with a wet sticky noise and her moans as he exposed her.
Just staring at her wet entrance had him thinking about all the ways he could fill her up. With his tongue, fingers, cock. Oh yes, he would show her. Show her how good it felt, how good it could have always felt if she had just let it. A groan broke free from him just thinking about all the ways he would have her.
“P-please.” Her voice, tiny and unsure, jolted him out of his thoughts as he felt her fingers brush against his hand causing him to look at the bashful expression on her face. “Please don’t stare like that.” 
It was a request that was so innocent sounding, so shy and nothing like what he ever thought he would hear from her. Well, that wasn’t all true, it was something he never thought he would hear so soon. But it was asked so sweetly that he couldn’t help but to agree.
"Of course,” he murmured as she saw a glint cross his eyes, “why stare when I can just have a taste?”
Not having a second to react to his words, a broken shriek of,
“Oh my god!”
Tore through the air as he pressed his face against her opening, tongue darting into her as he collected beads of her wetness while his fingers held her open for him.
Each swirl of his tongue inside her has her gripping the sheets, moaning and grinding her hips against his face in an attempt to feel him deeper inside. 
Harsh puffs of air push out of her lungs as the slick sounds of him licking and sucking her mingle around with groans that she no longer could pinpoint to either one of them. 
It was debauched. The way she was letting him consume her body and mind when she had tried to fend that exact thing off from the beginning. But she couldn’t stop, not when he was making her feel so good that she could hardly breathe. Not with the way he was making her body throb and want more from him. 
A louder moan broke through her barging, hips arching up as the sudden intrusion of his digits sliding into her alongside his tongue had her crying out. Each thrust was met with a lap from his tongue as he drank the juices that she was spilling out.
“Mmm so wet [Y/n],” he groaned out, voice muffled as he pressed his lips against her folds sucking at them and licking up the juices that his fingers were pulling from her, “delicious little thing you are with those pretty sounds.” 
Any sentence or word that she tried to form in her mind would undoubtedly have made no sense as all she could think about was what his tongue and fingers were doing to her. 
How he was stretching and milking her cunt with talented fingers and causing the burning in her belly to become so strong that it was almost painful from the pleasure that was rapidly building in her. 
She was so close and she needed this. Needed the release that he had been building up inside her.  Needed the coil inside her to snap as she felt his fingers begin to travel up. She needed it, needed him. 
As if he could hear her thoughts, he gave her a taste of what she wanted. His tongue and fingers began plugging deeper inside her causing an elongated moan to leave her lips. His fingers moved at a rapid pace as he stroked the spongy spot deep inside her while lapping at her causing loud squelching sounds of her wetness to fill the air. 
Not only that, he had pressed his entire face against her core causing the ridge of his nose to nuzzle her clit. Massaging and pressing against it in tandem with the thrust of his fingers inside of her.
“Ah!”
Her entire body trembled as she clenched her hand into a fist, nails digging into her palms that would no doubt have crescent-shaped imprints in them when all was done. 
Telltale signs of her approaching orgasm began to wash over her as her cunt sucked his fingers in squeezing them and her clit throbbed with each nuzzle against it. 
Each thrust of his tongue and finger had her moans becoming higher and higher in pitch until all she could think about was the searing pleasure burning in her belly.
Her chest began to heave rapidly just as rapidly as the way he was plundering her body and soaking them both with her wetness. Feeling the cord in her belly tighten and tighten and her body trembling  her lips fell open a loud moan about to escape before it morphed in a sudden and choked out, 
“No!”
It was a desperate almost animalistic sound that left her throat as Snape suddenly pulled away from her. His fingers and tongue slipped out and away from her soaked cunt that was twitching uncontrollably and her clit that was swollen and throbbing. 
Tears that seemed to have come from nowhere threatened to spill as she squirmed underneath him,  hips wantonly chasing back after his digits and tongue as a dark chuckle filled her ears.
“Eager, are we?” He husked lowly, “you’ll have me in you again soon enough [Y/n] just be patient.” He continued as he began to move his way back up against her body, fingers trailing up her skin and stroking her warm skin before settling such an intense gaze upon her that it caused her to avert her own from him. 
“Mm, none of that now,” he murmured, gingerly taking her chin in between damp fingers and turning her head to face him even though her eyes were still averted. “Look at me.”
Biting her lips, [Y/n] hesitated for a moment but only for a moment because as her mind tried to give her reasons not to do as he asked, his voice was back in all its soft dark velvet that had her wanting to obey.
“Sweet girl,” he whispered in a sultry voice, pressing a kiss to her forehead and cheek, “look at me, be my good girl, and look at me. ”
Something about the way he called her ‘good girl’ had her stomach churning in pleasure, a tiny mewl leaving her as she let the hesitation she held melt allowing herself to obey his words.
When their eyes met, she felt her breath hitch for a moment as she looked into black gleaming eyes. She had never once looked this deep into his eyes and as she did it felt like she was being sucked into an unending dark sea that had no end.
As dark as it was, and as unending as it felt, there was a strange sensation of never wanting to be let go of it. For not only was the darkness not cold as she thought it would be, but it was actually warm, inviting almost.
“There she is,” his voice invaded her senses pulling her up from that abyss as she felt his lips brush against hers, “such a good girl for me.” He added before pressing his lips against hers once more for another kiss. 
To his surprise and delight, it was her who deepened the kiss this time around. Her arms wrapped around his shoulder while she leaned up a bit to press against him even more. 
A growl emitted from his throat as she parted her lips for him inviting him to taste her again with no resistance. And he did. Tongue swirling around in her mouth as her fingers carded through his hair as she let herself be dominated. 
It was absolutely alluring to him, the way she was giving herself to the pleasure now, no longer fighting. And who was he to not enjoy the obedience that she was giving him? 
Pulling away from the kiss and watching as lust shined in her eyes while she stared at him as if waiting for him to tell her what to do. He leaned down, kissing her once more before placing his lips near her ear and whispering, “Would you like me to take care of you [Y/n]?” 
Whimpering a little at the question and the underlying meaning, she could only nod her answer fearing her voice would fail if she tried to speak. Instead of acquiescing, Snape shook his own head at her nonverbal answer, a little smirk playing at his lips.
“No, let me hear you. I want to hear you say the words.”
Unlike the way she hesitated to look at him before, there was no hesitation in the words she spoke even if they had not been hurried either.
“Please,” she begged in a tiny voice unrecognizable to herself, her arms tightening around his shoulder bringing him closer to her. “Please take care of me.”
A pleasant almost kind smile grew on his lips at her word before he leaned down and pressed them against her cheek before murmuring a quiet, “of course.” 
Letting out an almost relieved sigh, [Y/n] felt herself sinking further into the bed as Snape nestled his body right between her spread thighs that seemed to fall open more. 
Welcoming him as he wrapped his fingers around his cock, guiding it to her entrance and slowly beginning to roll his hips against her. Each rocking motion caused her to gasp as his cock began to nudge her entrance open with each movement. 
He did this a couple of more times, pushing past the entrance of her folds teasingly before pulling out, groaning at sticky wet sounds and little whimpers that fell from her. 
Each press against her had his control slipping as he toyed with her by slowly inching more of him inside of her with each rock of his hips. He stretched her slowly as her cunt began throbbing around him each time he entered and pulled away. Teasing her folds, running his cock through her wetness before pressing back in and groaning as her whines became more vocal.
“Mmm please~.”
She whimpered breathlessly looking up at him, her hips rocking into his, only being stopped when he held her still causing her to almost want to cry. 
It was becoming too much. She needed something in her. Something to stop the incessant throbbing that was almost painful from the amount of teasing and waiting. Stop the wildfire that was burning in the pit of her stomach that was becoming uncontrollable at his point.
Staring up at him with pleading wet eyes, she was met with him giving her a heated look that had her breath hitching as if she could see all the things in his mind right now that he wanted to do to her. 
His gaze trapped her for a moment. Held her attention just enough so that when he finally gave her folds one last swipe before sheathing himself fully inside her with one thrust, he got to witness the way she fell apart. 
How her lips suddenly parted as a choked sob became silent as she felt him sink into her. How her eyes widened for a moment, her body tensing at the intrusion that had made its way into her.
The startled gasp became one elongated moan as her body accepted the intrusion of him. Throbbing and fluttering around him as he sank further into her making him groan as the spasms of her body massaged his cock.
Both of their breathing became uneven as he relished at how hot and wet she was. Enjoying how tightly her body wrapped around him, squeezing him and coaxing him inside. 
Pants filled the air as they both stilled, and he couldn’t help but appreciate the lustful sight of her beneath him. Lips parted, eyelids fluttering up at him with dilated pupils, and breath uneven while being full of cock. 
What was even better was how she lay there. Not resisting. Instead only moaning out and wiggling her hips downwards a little as she tried to press him deeper into her. Wanting to feel how good it could be if she could take all of him.
As much as he wanted to be gentle with her this time around, the thought of pounding her into the mattress was much more alluring as she twisted her body stimulating both of them. He could be gentle another day but right now, he wanted her writhing on his cock and begging him as she gave herself over willingly. 
Rocking his hips against hers at a steady pace, he pulled out of her completely before sinking himself completely back into her multiple times. Grinding his hips in small circles each time he entered her and pressing their hips closer.
Soft moans flew from her lips as she rocked her hips with his, chasing his cock each time he pulled out of her only to whimper out a soft ‘yes’ each time he sunk back inside stretching her completely. 
The amount of pleasure he was bringing her just by fucking her on his cock was insane. And when he began to speed up, burying himself deeper into her, it had her body tensing and clenching down wanting him to stay inside her longer with each thrust. 
Wet sounds of flesh slapping against each other filled the air alongside little whines that mingled with them whenever she felt him lean down to kiss her neck or cheek. 
Each time he would do this she could feel him sinking deeper into her and it had her gasping out, tightening her hold on him trying to draw him closer as waves of heat burned inside her.
Faster and faster his hips snapped, bullying the soft spot inside her that had her toes curling and stomach clenching with each stroke. The pleasure she felt from it was too much. Suffocating almost especially when she felt his hand begin to snake between them. 
She hadn’t paid any mind to his wandering hands too caught up in his cock filling her until the digits found what they had been looking for. With one harsh press against her clit, Snape began to rub tight circles around her causing her to choke and her hips to arch suddenly closing the distance.  And before she knew it a broken sob of,
“F-Faster!”
Fell from her lips wanting more of what he was giving to her as she shook and writhe. Her cry had his cock swelling, hardening even more inside of her and his hips stuttering for a second at how lusty she sounded. 
It surprised him only for a moment before he regained his rhythm thrusting, fingers leaving her pearl for a moment to gather the wetness that connected them before returning to the bead and rubbing it.
“Please faster it f-feels,” she gasped, feeling his fingers against her clit as it alternated between rubbing tight circles and pressing down on it causing her to almost choke on her words, “f-feels so, feels so!”
The words refused to come out instead a long moan took their place as he pressed deeper into her causing her breath to hitch.
“Feels what [Y/n]?” Snape hissed leaning down, pushing his cock further and further into her as his fingers continued to torture her clit. Her entire body convulsed at his touch as the throbbing of her insides became erratic and her mouth fell open even though no sound left her.  
“Tell me,” he crooned, snapping his hips against her again making her shout before it morphed into a half sob half moan as her legs wrapped around his waist dragging him closer to her. “Tell me tell me how it feels.”
“Feels good feels so good,” she squealed out as his hips began to increase in their rhythm. The sound of wet flesh meeting each other became louder and more intense as her cunt began to gush with her juices with each plunge of his cock inside her while his fingers played with her clit that felt incredibly tight and sensitive. 
Eyes rolling to the back of her head, her lips parted letting out streams of sobs and moans along with irregular puffs of air as her body began to wind itself up tight. Feeling the edge of her release come into view as he fucked her.
Amazed at just how ethereal she looked while drowning in pleasure, a tinge of excitement took hold of him at the thought of how she would look while coming on his cock. Coming undone on the man that had held her against her will until he wasn’t.
A loud groan tore from him at that thought, before he was snatching his hand away from her clit. Leaving her shaking and almost protesting before she was silenced with his lips smashing against hers and his pelvis tilting up just enough that it had her screaming into his mouth when he entered again. 
Caging her in with his arms, and laying his body fully on top of hers he relished at how she shook underneath him as he pounded into her. Drinking in her cries and stealing her breath with each thrust as her insides churned and churned with the stimulation. 
“You like that don’t you,” he rasped lowly, pulling away from her swollen lips and looking at her blissed out features as he continued to drag his cock in and out relentlessly. 
Kissing up her neck he began to nibble a trail up to her ear before whispering into it, voice low filled with lust and breathy from the exertion being put forth, “like how deep my cock is?” He moaned, puncturing the sentence with a slam of his hips into her causing her to squeal, digging her fingers into him. “Like how it’s taking care of you?”
“Yes! I-it’s so good!” She shrieked as waves of pleasure began to drown and overwhelm her as his cock dragged against her spongy spot with each plunge inside of her. 
“So good please,” her voice broke and her fingers clawed his shoulder trying to find something to moor her down as she babbled out desperately. 
“Please, gonna come please!”
[Y/n] wailed loudly, her body twitching around him, desperately sucking him in and holding him close each time he tried to pull away signaling her body was about to fall over that euphoric ledge he was leading her to.
“You’re going to come?” He gritted out hips pounding into her fast and hard no doubt going to leave bruises on her skin as he ripped sob after sob out of her. “I’ll let you come,” he hissed, eyes glinting as he watched her eyes fluttering and tears begin to drip down her face from the pleasure that was churning in her. “But I want to hear you scream my name when you do understand?”
The thought of disobeying never passed her mind, the only thing on it was the impending release that was bubbling up quickly and about to reach the point of no return. So she nodded furiously, eyes wide and body already trembling as he didn’t let up his pace.
“Yes! Yes! I’ll do whatever you want, I'll do it!” Her sobs were almost incomprehensible as she thrashed her head against the bed as if she were out of her mind. “Please, please, please!”
Moaning at her words, Snape latched his lips onto her neck and sucked at the skin pressing into her as he shoved a hand between where they were connected holding himself over her with one arm. 
His mouth moved next to her ear panting, “then come,” he growled fingers pressing her bead that had her choking out and hips canting upward meeting his thrust, “come on my cock, my good girl.”
It felt as if fireworks had been lit in her belly. Her cunt spasmed once twice, and then over and over unrelenting as his fingers rubbed tight harsh circles against her in the same rhythm of his thrusts. 
“Severus!” 
He didn’t stop as his name left her lips in a scream that had him groaning out loud at the sound of it. No, he kept thrusting into her ignoring the way she sobbed and shook underneath as he abused her oversensitive cunt. 
Ignoring how she choked his name out saying it like a prayer as she looked at him with eyes glistening with tears and parted lips that were swollen and wet.
“Severus! S-Severus!” 
[Y/n] sobbed, not able to form any other coherent words or thoughts. All that was in her mind was him. How his fingers stayed on her clit, playing with the oversensitive bead as he continued to rail into her forcing her body to begin its climb to another orgasm just after the one she had.
It didn’t take long either for her to get there as his cock began to throb inside of her and his thrusts became sloppy yet still digging deep into her until the shout of her name rang around the room.
“[Y/n]!”
The sound of her name vibrated in the air as he slammed his lips harshly against hers in a desperate kiss. When he emptied himself inside her she could only moan into his mouth as he released inside her. Feeling his hot seed coating her and flooding her insides had her spasming again, causing a choked noise to leave her and her mind to blank as another orgasm hit her. 
The lack of oxygen from him kissing her had her feeling dizzy almost as if she was having an out of body experience. Her entire body quaked and she couldn’t control the moans and whimpers that escaped her as he stilled himself inside her. 
Cunt spasming and throbbing around him all she could feel was how warm she was. How wet and slick her insides felt as it pulsed from the unrelenting fucking that she had endured. 
Arms wrapping around her and pulling her close to him, it felt like an eternity passed before her body started to come down from the euphoric bliss that he had caused her to spiral down. 
Her eyes were wide open as she stared up at the ceiling, heavy pants becoming quiet whimpers as she tugged herself closer to him ignoring the stickiness and weight of him still in her. 
The high of having such an intense orgasm left her body high strung and needing the weight and comfort of another to calm her as wave after wave of emotions began to hit her.
Cooing at her actions, Severus kissed her cheek, wrapping his arms around her and just letting her be underneath him with her shivering form and her eyes closing before any tears could fall out of them. 
She didn’t know how much time had passed, or when she had fallen asleep. But when she reopened her eyes, darkness was the only thing that greeted her vision. A blanket was pulled over her preventing the chill from reaching her and the feeling of being cleaned was evident.
Her body, still weighed down from Severus' grip on her, was unmoving as her mind began to replay the moments that had led her up to this moment. How she laid underneath him, let him use her, even begged for it, begged for him to use her. 
And it felt good. It felt so good. He had taken care of her like he said he would, hadn’t hurt her and it was blissful for a split second as when she was rocked with her orgasm all she felt was relaxed bliss. 
The tears that rolled down her cheek went unnoticed as she clenched her eyes shut as her mind continued to replay it over and over.  In her spiral, she doesn’t capture the way her fingers grasp onto his nightshirt and how she pressed herself close to him with each passing thought. Nor did she register the sensation of his hand lightly pressing into her back. 
No, her mind was too caught up in something else. Caught up in the answer she had been too afraid of to admit out loud. It had been there much earlier than she wanted to believe. But it had been there floating around flashing every time something happened. 
Because if it was to save her, to keep her from becoming more damaged, from being lonely, or even dying. Then selfish, or not there had only been one answer from the start:
To give in.
A/N: Well well well if that wasn't a rollercoaster idk what is lol. I hope this chapter turned out okay and I do admit I had a hard time with it because the plot was not trying to plot but it is done and I'm not mad at it and I hope you guys aren't either :)!!!
Also, shout out to @renee561 for listening to me scream and complain about this chapter while also making me sprint for my life to get it done asap. Thank you, friend!!!
And thank you guys for reading this even though it took me a hot minute to write it! As usual, leave your thoughts (and if you see any errors) ^o^ and I hope to see you in the next chapter! (Which will not be nearly as plot focused as this so if you're just wanting a lot of smut that next one is for u 😘 whenever she writes it....)
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shall-we-die · 7 months
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"Give up on your dreams and die." He said.
but my dream was to Die! so...
{Shall we Die together?}
Your positive answer? Yes? Good!
Well then, welcome to my rose garden~
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⊱❁【About Me】❧
[Aria || 19 || she/her || INTJ || Apr.24th || Taurus ]࿐
↳ My OC
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⊱❁【About this blog】❧
➥ This surly is another writing blog.
➥ I'm not new here, I just deleted my previous blog cause of some problems...
➥ I may repost some of my works from my previous blog.
➥ It doesn't matter if I finished a game/manga or not, none of the posts will spoil anything.
➥ Requests are Open now || my inbox: 40/100
📍 Please pay attention, is the list you wanna request from closed or not? Because if it's closed, your request will be deleted.
📍 For now, requests are open, it means you can request your new ideas under any title (hcs/ scenarios/ fluff/ angst/ nsfw/ etc.). || But all other lists are closed (such as alphabet lists), so you can't request anything from them.
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꧁What I'll write࿐
↳ I usually write headcanons. They're easier to write. But you can also request scenarios.
↳ Character x Gn! or Fem! Reader
↳ Angst || Fluff || Hurt-Comfort
↳ Light! NSFW || Light! Yandere
📍I only write for characters that I feel comfortable with and understand better. I may write for all the characters in one fandom and choose only a few special characters in another one.
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꧁What I won't write࿐
↳ Male! Reader (sorry I have no clue)
↳ Character x Character
↳ Anything that makes me uncomfortable or not suitable for this blog...
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⊱❁【Notes】❧
➥ With the help of tags, you can access any post or list you like. Sometimes some parts may not contain links, this means that I haven't yet posted anything on that topic.
➥ Each fandom has a masterlist. You can become a member of that fandom's tag list by commenting. Every post from that fandom will be tagged with your name so you don't miss it.
➥ Please pay attention to the warning signs. If you read something that is not appropriate for your age, I do not accept responsibility for it.
📍I would appreciate it if you could inform me of any mistakes in grammar or special names in my posts ❤
➥ and please, do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.
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⊱❁【Masterlists】❧
꧁Anime࿐
↷[Bungo Stray Dogs]༄
↷[Moriarty the Patriot]༄
↷[Jujutsu Kaisen]༄
꧁Otome࿐
↷[Obey me!= 7Brothers & Side characters]༄
꧁Special Parts࿐
📍Requests for these parts are closed.
↷[Fluff Alphabet]༄
↷[Angst Alphabet]༄
↷[NSFW Alphabet]༄ (100+ followers event)
↷[Weekly Love Letters Masterlist]༄
↷[When you don't love them]༄
↷[Birthday Event]༄
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⊱❁【Tags】❧
➳ # 𝙰𝚛𝚒𝚊-𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗–[🐞]
➳ # 𝚀𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜–[❓]
➳ # 𝚂𝚞𝚋𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜–[📩]
➳ # 𝙰𝚛𝚒𝚊'𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚋𝚘𝚡–[📮]
➳ # 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝–[📕]
➳ # 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎–[🍓]
➳ # 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎–[❣]
➳ # 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎–[🚫]
➳ # 𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆–[💋]
➳ # 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜–[🍬]
➳ # 𝙱𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜–[🎂]
➳ # 𝚆𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚕𝚢 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜–[💌]
➳ # 𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝙸𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚜–[📢]
➳ # 𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚜–[💬]
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Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 23 Teaser
Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC
A/N: Good morning/afternoon my lovelies! It's time for a Chapter 23 teaser. Are you all still recovering from the previous chapter? I'm going to need you to hold it together for the next few chapters because Dieter hitting rock bottom is on the horizon. In a way, I guess Talia kind of does too. It's gonna be rough. Hopefully I can survive writing it. 😩 Chapter 23 is currently with the beta (@for-a-longlongtime) and will post as soon as we have final edits complete. I've made sure to include something a little special for her in this teaser because it gave her a good laugh and it will confuse the hell out of y'all. So of course, I'm here for it. With that said, anyone want a stray cat? 🤣 Now that I have gotten that out of my system...
So, in this chapter, we get asshole Dieter as I have previously hinted at here and here (You might find some more hints in those post comment sections😉). He is still up to his old tricks of pushing people away. That's all I will say about him for the time being. Talia is still doing her compartmentalization shit and living like the love of her life didn't just press the self-destruct button. She gets a surprise visit by someone from her past and is presented with a new opportunity that she will be indecisive about for a bit. She also gets a visit from Gabby where we get a small glimpse of what is going on in Talia's mind and how Gabby is dealing with things. Then there's Lauren and her antics...I'll stop there. 🤣 As always, share your thoughts, feelings, and predictions. They sustain me and keep me going. 🥰💜
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Series Rating: Explicit (18+)
Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 
Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.
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Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @weho2kcmo @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love
Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.
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ryuichirou · 6 months
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The mystery of the Ortho smut fic: the plot thickens
Since we’ve gotten a couple of asks about this topic, I’ll put all of them in one post.
It’s related to these two asks, by the way. I hope all the mentioned Anons find each other… Although I’m not sure if it’s possible + I’m now confused about just how many Anons we have in this particular conversation lol but hey, at least all of you are here!
Anonymous asked:
To answer the Ortho smut fic anon unfortunately no it wasn't your fic but from what I saw it was typed on discord and not ao3 so thankfully (?) it also wasn't your fic
But now I want to read an Ortho smut fic 😔
Just posting this one :)
Anonymous asked:
the anon who wrote ortho x reader smut and, yes, there is a huge lack of actual ortho x reader orz i feed from the four pixiv artists who draw yuu x ortho together with an app that translates pictures and shroudcest because Ortho looks so yummy. half of what you find in ortho x reader is him being a matchmaker for Idia, and i don't dislike Idia but oh god the flanderization. let the boy kiss his brother or kiss both his brother and me, fandom ;w; didn't he become his own person in book 6
btw all my ortho x reader is written with sharing Ortho with Idia in mind. i just can't believe in a world where Idia didn't touch the shota robot if not his flesh brother.
It really is sad that Ortho’s entire role just ends up being “someone who is a support team on the background”. Just like you said, he is his own person, and even if we don’t go to the smut territory, it’s interesting how no one seems to be interested in playing around with how he could act in a romantic setting.
(yaaay, Shroudcest found its way into the yuuships lol; I also feel like I know at least one pixiv artist that you’re talking about)
Anonymous asked:
In response to previous anon’s mention of Ortho x reader smut, I’m in the middle of Ao3’s first every Ortho x Vil fic (yeah you guessed it, it’s the OruVil/VilOrtho shipper 🤖👑).
If you want a link (as it’s a bit of a monster fic) I’ll gladly share with you and all the Ortho fans out there.
Time to combine our fangirling/fanboying and give him much deserved love!!
Yaaay, OruVil shipper Anon, hi! Please keep doing what you’re doing, this ship needs to exist on Ao3, it just has to. I’m not sure how we’ll handle this entire conversation from now on, it’s a bit chaotic, but you can still share your fic!
Anonymous asked:
I'm so disappointed I went looking through the Ortho x reader tag out of curiosity and it's all platonic
You’re in good company, Anon. I hope the situation changes soon lol
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roostercrowned · 5 days
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Realm of the Elderlings Ask Meme Thing
tagged by @tragediegh! \o/ Favorite RotE book: I'm also gonna have to say Fool's Fate though Ass Quest is a close second Why: Listen I will never forget the shrimp emotions I experienced in that tent or during the resurrection, and the reveal/healing of Fitz's forging re-contextualizing all his previous choices. This book pulls no punches. I don't think I would have survived it if I had read it back in 2003 with no guarantee of Beloved surviving. And the ending was devastating but honestly, upon reflection I accept it--not as a "happy" ending but as Fitz maladaptively retreating to his past and being unable to follow through on the character growth that was happening for him up to that point. It is NOT a happy ending for Molly. Top three favorite characters: Amber, Lord Golden, and the Fool. Haha ok no, favorite supporting characters: Patience, Paragon, and Chade, with honorable mention to Jek and Rapskal Top Three Least Favorite Characters: uhhh Tats "Friendzone" Last Name, and Lant--he had me at "poor terrorized kid," lost me at "mean to Bee," started winning me back a little, then lost me again at "dating the 14 year old (implicitly as part of her casting off her gender nonconformity)." Everyone else I was pretty much cool with Favorite Ship (of the floating kind): I already said Paragon so it's gonna have to be Ophelia, she was such a bawdy aunt and she got to slap some bad guys (I don't even remember who it was now but the slapping was important) Top Three Favorite Ships (of the people kind): I'm not really into shipping as like a recreational activity, I feel like Robin Hobb already put in all the work for me on the one I care about. That said: PATIENCE AND LACEY. ...Actually I also really love that one text post about how Chade and Jek definitely hooked up and were total bros about it. I'll try to find it after I post this Would you rather be Witted or Skilled? Witted 100% If you were Witted, what animal would you bond with? A cormorant, and I would regress into full Gollum mode just eating raw fish and wallowing in the sea as god intended Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six Duchies, Bingtown, The Rain Wilds, Kelsingra, Jamaillia, The Pirate Isles, or the Fool's Homeland? Hard not to choose the one of these locations that's presented only as an idealized memory. With NO WINTERS (I grew up in California). Mountain Kingdom might be nice but they need to work on their ableism How were you introduced to the books? A friend with good taste mentioned finishing Farseer and being obsessed with it, and I was like "Hey I like vintage fantasy, would like to get back into reading more, and am laid up with a fucked up shoulder that's keeping me from drawing." and now here we are Share a quote you love: there are so many beautiful profound quotes about changing the world and unconditional love but @tragediegh had those covered so I am gonna go with the only balm for my soul in the aftermath of Fitz eavesdropping on Jek and Amber:
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get his ass my mind blanks when it's time to tag people but uhhh @everywaythatmatters and @cicide76536 if you haven't been tagged yet!
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runnning-outof-time · 2 years
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Birmingham | Tommy Shelby x Reader (Part 6)
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Previous Part
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader
Summary: (Y/N) continues her communication with her mom, turns down a suggestion from Tommy, tries to reason with Matthew, and then receives some help from Ada.
Warnings: language
Word Count: 3645
A/N: so I finished what I thought would be one part, and it turned it to be like 6000 words, so I’ve decided to split it in two. I’m hoping to have the next part posted on Monday (9/26) so that y’all can find out what happens at the derby. Enjoy! :)
Let me know if you want to be tagged in this series!
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Dear (Y/N),
It is so good to be able to hear from you and to know how you are doing. Although it hurts me not to be able to see my only daughter in person, I will accept this as a sufficeable form of communication until we can see each other again.
You seem to have settled in nicely where you are living now. Upon your request, I have not shared your location with your brothers or father, although I think it may be beneficial if you allow me to. It felt rather secretive trying to hide the return address from them as I was gathering the mail. Until you tell me otherwise, I will continue to honor your request.
Matthew seems like a lovely man. You said you met him through work...what is it that you do? I find it incredible that you are able to put yourself out into the world like this, especially after the life your father made sure we had while you were growing up. I always knew you were destined for great things, (Y/N).
I also must ask...have you heard anything about the two of our men that came into Small Heath a few weeks back? Their names are Bradley and Steven. Maybe you've seen them around where you're staying. I ask this because they haven't come back to report to your brothers. I've heard some terrible things about Small Heath and Birmingham, and now I'm believing them to be true. Oh, (Y/N), please tell me you are safe.
With Love,
Mum
(Y/N) wasn't sure what she was feeling after she finished reading the letter she'd received from her mother. She was honestly surprised that she'd taken the time to write back, given that the letter she sent was rather vague. She figured she'd have to make it so that if her brothers intercepted it, not much would be given away about her new life...although them seeing the return address would give away the biggest secret; they wouldn't even have to read the letter.
It also worried her that her mother was bringing up questions about the two members of the Weller Boys who had arrived, and ultimately met their fate, in Birmingham about a month ago. She couldn't tell her what really happened to them. What mother would like to see 'oh yeah, those men?...I killed them' in a letter from her daughter?
She moved about her apartment, gathering the stationary that she used to write her letters on. Once her makeshift writing station at the dining table was set up, she uncapped the pen and started her letter:
Mum,
I am delighted that you are choosing to communicate with me in this form. I know it is not your first choice, but it is making me a great deal more comfortable in continuing with talking to you.
She paused, tapping the pen against her chin as she tried to decide what she'd address next. Go for the important things, she thought to herself.
I have not heard anything of those two men, nor have I seen their faces around...
A knocking on the door stopped her before she was able to finish her thought. "Coming!" she called, capping the pen before she quickly stood up and walked to the door. Upon opening it, she was greeted by Matthew's smiling face. "Hi," she greeted him with a smile.
"Hi," he repeated her greeting before he leaned in and kissed her lips quickly. "Are you ready to go?" he asked after pulling away.
"Is it that time already?" she asked with shock laced into her voice, her eyes widening slightly.
"It is," he grinned at her surprise, finding her response to his statement rather adorable.
"I'm sorry, I didn't notice. I was in the middle of writing something," she stated, jerking her thumb backwards into her apartment.
"That's alright, love," Matthew brushed her apology off, "we've still got time."
"I'll be quick," she told him, inviting him into the apartment then so that she could clean up her table and get the things she needed for work.
"Ready?" he asked once she came to his side again.
"Yes," she smiled at him, taking a deep breath to slow her heart rate down before they both exited her apartment in order to start the walk to the Garrison.
——
The day passed quickly, and nothing out of the ordinary happened. (Y/N) was busy stocking shelves and unpacking the wares that the pub needed to function. At the end of her shift, she worked hard to make sure that the crates she'd emptied were stacked properly in the corner so that Harry knew he could take them to the trash. Just as she was going to shut off the lights, she noticed Tommy standing in the doorway.
"Mr. Shelby...I'm sorry I didn't see you there," she apologized for leaving him waiting, "what can I do for you?"
"I wasn't waiting long," he brushed off her apology before stepping into the room. (Y/N)'s eyebrows furrowed at the reason behind his presence. She still wasn't sure what he wanted from her and at this point expected anything...given what he'd asked of her just a few days ago. "I was able to get my hands on this..." he continued before producing what looked to be a piece of red fabric from his pants pocket.
"What's that?" (Y/N) asked even though she knew that he'd tell her in a matter of seconds.
"It's the color that Kimber will be wearing to the derby," he explained before holding it out to her, "I wanted to give it to you...so that you could match your dress to him."
(Y/N) accepted the piece of fabric and stared at it for a moment. She flipped it around in her hands as she tried to think of how to word what she would say next. "Have it back," she finally said as she held her hand back out to Tommy.
"What?" Tommy was confused by her statement, his brows now furrowed.
"I will go to this derby with you, but I will not be dressed as a present for that man," she told him, her eyes locked onto his as she spoke so he knew that she was serious. Tommy's lips parted slightly as he tried to think of what to say in return. (Y/N) didn't let him speak. "You're a smart man, Tommy Shelby...you do not need to resort to that to initiate this business," she added, her eyes not wavering from his. She searched his eyes for a moment, seeing them widen slightly as he took in what she had to say.
With a slight nod, he took back the piece of fabric that was still extended between them so that he could return it to his pocket.
"Is there anything else you need from me?" (Y/N) asked after they'd been standing in silence for a few moments, their eyes not yet straying from each other’s.
"Not at the moment, no," he answered with a slight shake of his head.
"Am I free to leave?" was her next question. She knew that Matthew was waiting outside for her, and he'd promised her dinner after her shift was finished.
"Yes," Tommy nodded again, surprise still evident in his features. Truly, he'd been taken back by how (Y/N) responded to his ask. He thought that having her match her dress to Kimber’s handkerchief would be a surefire way to get a foot in the door with the man. Now he had to come up with a different avenue. He was sure that he would, but sometimes it was easier to take the blatant route.
"Goodnight, Mr. Shelby," she then said after she'd grabbed her things.
"Goodnight, (Y/N)," he repeated her farewell, allowing her to walk past him as he stood stagnant with a bit of a dumbfounded expression on his face. It'd been a while since someone other than a member of his family had stood up to him and shot down his idea...surprisingly, in this case at least, he wasn't at all mad about it.
(Y/N) tried to shake the conversation she'd just had as she walked through the bar's main area and out its doors. She must've not done a good job with it, because as soon as Matthew set his eyes on her, his brow was furrowed in concern. "What's happened, (Y/N)?" he asked as he walked over to her.
"Nothing, Matthew," she brushed his question off.
He wasn't satisfied by her response. "Tell me, please, baby," he gently prodded her to share what was on her mind with him, "you look like you've seen a ghost."
"I, uh..." she trailed off, furrowing her brows as she tried to think of how to say what she was going to tell him. "Mr. Shelby just asked a rather unusual thing of me."
Matthew's brows furrowed again, this time out of confusion, as he heard what she said, "what did he ask you?" he questioned, hoping she'd elaborate.
"He had a piece of fabric, the color that Kimber's wearing to the races. He wanted me to match my dress to it," she explained, watching as anger then flashed across his features.
"What?" he questioned, wanting to know if he'd heard her right.
"I guess he wanted to have me match Kimber so that I'd catch his eye...I turned him down, it's really nothing," she said then, trying to deflect the situation.
"He did fucking what?" the anger was fully apparent now, "I'm gonna go talk to him, (Y/N). Is he still in there?" he asked as he then began taking steps back to the doors of the Garrison.
"No, Matthew," (Y/N) grabbed hold of his arm to stop him from going any further, "please don't do that."
"He was going to make you a piece of bait, (Y/N)...that's disgusting," Matthew told her, at this point starting to become appalled at the fact that she didn't want him to go confront the other man.
"I know that it's disgusting, and that's why I told him no," she explained to him, trying to keep a calm head because she could see that he was getting riled up.
"You shouldn't have fucking agreed to this, (Y/N). You shouldn't have allowed him to take you to this."
"He's my boss, Matthew. I can't really tell him no when he asks something of me."
"You just did."
"You know what I mean," she said with a sigh, "I'm going to go with him, but I will do it on my terms."
"Yeah, well I'm coming with you now," Matthew said then, his frustration still apparent.
"What?" (Y/N) asked, confused by the sudden turn of events.
"I don't trust him with you...I'm coming so that you'll be protected," he insisted.
"That's not necessary Matthew and you know that," she disagreed with his idea.
"Tell me why you think that," he asked her to elaborate.
"Because Mr. Shelby hired you to be my protection. He most likely chose you because you could offer the same level of it that he can. He certainly knows what to be on the lookout for," she explained her reasoning, "I understand why you want to, Matthew, but please don't," she added, a pleading look on her face.
He stared at her with a straight face, her words playing on his mind for a few moments before he let out a sigh. Accepting her statement, he nodded his head. "If he lets something happen to you, (Y/N), I swear, I..."
"Do you really think he'll let something happen to me, Matthew?" she cut him off, raising her eyebrows slightly. A small smile formed on her face when she was only responded to with a slight shake of his head. "Can we go get dinner now, please?" she asked him, hoping to finally get past this topic.
"Yes, we can," he nodded, trying his best to put on a smile as he offered his arm for her to take. Her smile grew as she accepted it, and they began walking to their intended dinner spot.
——
"Thank you for coming along with me, Ada," (Y/N) said as the two women approached the doors of one of the more well-known boutiques in Small Heath. "I really don't know the first place to look when it comes to an appropriate dress for a derby."
"It's not a problem, (Y/N)...I'd do anything at this point to get out of the apartment. Freddie insists we stay here, but yet he's the only one who's able to go about his business. I just wish he would...see sense in all of this," Ada answered her, her stress shining through in her words.
"Men hardly ever see sense, do they?" (Y/N) stated as she sent Ada a knowing look, "they just see what benefits them and they run towards it with their blinders up and destination set."
"It was you who got through to Tommy you know, (Y/N). You made him change his mind...made him allow Freddie to marry me. Except we were supposed to marry in any place but here," Ada pointed out as she glanced over at the other woman.
Another knowing look formed on (Y/N)'s face before it faded into a small smile. She was happy that her friend had her lover, and also the father of her child, back in her life, but she hated to hear that there were still obvious tensions between him and Tommy. From what she'd heard about all of it, it seemed like Freddie was really pressing his luck.
"I never got to congratulate you on your marriage, Ada," (Y/N) said then, slightly changing the topic of conversation, "I'm sure you looked beautiful in white."
Ada snorted slightly before saying: "yeah, whatever white was left after I ran through the mud-covered streets."
"A proper Small Heath bride, I'm sure," (Y/N) cracked a smile, her statement making Ada laugh.
"Oh, most certainly," Ada responded, the two women sharing a laugh as they walked to the door of the boutique they decided on stopping in.
"Ok, you need to really help me here, Ada...I'm lost," (Y/N) said after taking in all of the articles of clothing that were hanging on display.
"You say that like I've been to my share of derbies in the past," Ada answered her with a chuckle.
"You've not?" (Y/N) questioned, her eyes widening slightly. Was this a lost cause?
"Derbies are solely the men's business, (Y/N). They'll only bring a woman along when the purpose suits them," Ada informed her friend, making the other woman sigh at her words.
"I seem to be finding that out a little too late," (Y/N) sighed, dropping her gaze to the ground as she shook her head slightly. Was agreeing to this the wrong choice?, she wondered as she looked at all of the dresses again. Between Ada's comment and Tommy's attempt to make her stand out, it was now blatantly obvious why she'd been asked to attend the derby. She couldn't go back on her commitment now though...the derby was only a handful of days away.
"It'll be fine, (Y/N)," Ada attempted to brush the other woman's worries aside.
"I can only hope," (Y/N) huffed, dropping her gaze to the ground for a moment before she took a deep breath to steady herself. Everything is going to be ok, she told herself before she looked up and around the room again. This time, she tried not to let the many choices overwhelm her.
"Is there any specific color you have in mind?" Ada asked after a few silent moments.
"No. I'll look at anything but red," she answered the brown-haired woman, trying hard not to allow a tone of distaste enter her words. Ada sent her a look that asked 'why not?' then, and (Y/N) weighed out whether or not she wanted to disclose the reason. "It's a long story," she settled with a vague response.
"Tell it when you're ready," Ada stated, and (Y/N) sent a silent 'thank you' for the fact that she didn't try to force out the details. She'd been lucky in finding Ada as a friend.
The two women got going on looking through the options, and searched through just about half of the store before their time spent started to get the best of them. "Try this on, Ada," (Y/N) said as she held a blue dress up into view, "I'm tired of being the only one going into the dressing rooms."
"You're the one looking for the dress though," Ada pointed out.
"Yeah, I know that, but...please?" the other woman asked, sending her friend the puppy dog look for good measure.
"I'll look like a whale," Ada continued to dispute the idea.
"You will not. You barely have a bump yet," (Y/N) wasn't falling for it.
Ada pursed her lips as she stared at her friend, who was still pouting dramatically. A few moments passed before she let out a sigh. "Fine. Give me it," she grumbled, reaching her hand out for the garment (Y/N) was holding. (Y/N) clapped her hands as best she could in excitement before she handed the dress over to Ada. "Don't laugh at me when I come out though," Ada stated as she moved back to the dressing rooms.
"Never," (Y/N) answered in all seriousness as she then waited for the other woman to get changed.
"Ok...how absurd do I look?" Ada asked a few moments later before she pushed the curtain aside.
"You look good, Ada!" (Y/N) said, her jaw just about dropping at how beautiful the dress looked on her friend.
"You think?" Ada questioned, looking at herself in the mirror.
"I know," (Y/N) flipped the woman's words around with a grin, "that dress is beautiful," she added.
"Maybe you should try it on," Ada suggested, her eyebrows raised slightly.
"That might be a good idea," (Y/N) agreed before she moved back to the racks where she'd originally gotten the dress to find one in her size. She then quickly changed out of her clothes and into the dress before coming back out to meet Ada again.
"What do you think?" Ada questioned as she looked her friend over.
"I really like it," (Y/N) said with a smile as she looked at herself in the mirror. The dress felt good on her. It wasn't too revealing, fit against her body nicely, and made her feel confident. The royal blue color beautifully contrasted with her features. This had to be the dress she picked.
"See...you would have never chosen it if you hadn't seen it on me first," Ada grinned, proud of herself that she helped her friend pick out the dress she'd be wearing.
"What until I tell your brother this one..." (Y/N) trailed off with a giggle, "if you like the dress, you'll have to give all of the credit to Ms. Ada Shelby," she then jokingly recited what she'd tell Tommy.
"That's Mrs. Ada Thorne, thank you," Ada corrected her, the two women bursting into a fit of giggles then. "So you and Tommy, yeah?" she asked once their laughter had subsided.
"No," (Y/N) responded rather quickly, her eyes widening slightly as what Ada said had sunk in. Ada sent her a look then that had her going even further into defending herself, "he's just asked me to come to the races as a part of business. That's really all."
"I think he'll like the dress," was all Ada said in response before she looked at herself in the mirror, "the dress that I've now got to take off because I'll be walking out of here with it too if I don't," she added before she walked away from (Y/N), leaving her looking at herself in the mirror with a rather dumbfounded expression.
——
(Y/N) was just finishing playing with her hair and making sure it was set properly when a knock sounded off of her door. She grabbed her purse and made her way to it, a smile on her face when she saw Matthew standing outside.
"Wow," he said as he looked over her figure.
"A good wow?" she asked, a hopeful smile on her face.
"A great wow," he corrected her with a grin, his words making her cheeks heat up. "Are you ready?" he asked then, to which (Y/N) nodded in response. "Let's go then," he stated, offering her his arm. She accepted it and they exited the apartment.
They made their way to the Garrison and stood out in front of it like Tommy had instructed her to the day prior. Soon enough, Tommy was approaching them in his car.
"Enjoy yourself," Matthew said to (Y/N), a smile on his face as he helped her into the passenger's side of the car. She smiled at him and he made sure she was situated before he looked at Tommy. "Make sure you keep an eye on her," he told him, sounding much like the child who was telling the adult what they should be doing.
Tommy only glanced between (Y/N) and Matthew before he nodded his head. Matthew, accepting the answer, stepped away from the car then. "Ready?" Tommy asked (Y/N), glancing her over after he spoke.
"Yes," (Y/N) responded with a smile and a slight nod. That was all Tommy needed to start up the car again so that they could begin the drive to the derby.
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Tagged: @mgcllovdrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @easilyobessedbutflighty @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @l1-l4 @chlorrox @lostgirl219 @woofgocows @bdudette @mrkdvidal1989 @stephhevring @hobothejuggalo @fictional-hooman @httyd-marauders @nataliewalker93 @rangerelik @thecraziestcrayon @lovemissyhoneybee
SERIES MASTERLIST
367 notes · View notes
ladysomething · 4 days
Note
hi hunnnnn. I have 3 things, maybe 4
1. what in the everloving fuck is chubes. I've been wreckling my mind for days because I for the love of the ch words cannot understand what it means.
2. do you have the list of the pro-anti omega drivers that another anon did? just wondering. I wanna read it out of curiosity.
3. anon (s?) with the top Charles fright. I feel you. and before you, my dear Mads (I didn't even know that was your name, so, hi Mads), try to convert me, I myself already tried. it work out like shit because now I have PTSD. I kinda tried to look it up but my knowlegde of how to use ao3 is nonexistent at worst and laughable at best so I kinda ended up in a Voltron with Charles Dickens as the name fic. just kinda. it was something. and then when I deciphered the tags I started reading Yours. and don't get me wrong. it's great, my love to the author. but in my mind fic Charles is just the biggest twink ever and it must remain as such. regardless of where. but y'all do yourselves
4. I was just wondering if in the future you would be open to make some Max POV's from past moments. what I want to say is that I really wanna know what went throw Max’s mind when he hear Fred speak about the bruises. but I mean it like. when you've finished WYGIG obviously.
+1. I have storted things out about myself with this fic. have you seen that funny ao3 wrapped post? the one that's like spotify wrapped but ao3 and goes something like you get a fav author, and then you stalk them, see they are into some weird shit and now you're into that too? that's me with breeding kink. I'm a different person now than I was before starting this fic. (thanks)
+2 anon that wanted to draw them, please I beg you do it. I wanna see some fanarts 😽
so obviously I did 6 things. wow
ok I'll go one by one!!!!
lmao I forget that people aren't like. seeing everything like I'm seeing everything hahaha. but basically the other day the forum was discussing what Charles would do if he got pregnant accidentally, and then somebody suggested Max get a vasectomy, and somebody else said "You can never trust a man, Charles should get his chubes tied." so chubes = Charles tubes. NOT pubes, in case that was an option you came up with hahah
I don't have it on hand, I'm sorry! but I THINK what I told people was Lewis is outwardly pro omega, we'd already discussed Daniel would be pro omega (I think???), Lando was in the publicly staying out of category (but has now been revealed to have nefarious intentions), and George would be completely anti-omega just for funsies.
look I'll ignore what is obviously a very underdeveloped palette from you to address the REAL issue here: how did you end up at a fic with Charles Dickens?????????? pls message me and I can give you a crash course on how to use ao3, because a beautiful world awaits you my friend.
hm well, I probably won't go over it COMPLETELY, but there are some insights into previous Charles chapters when we finally get back to a Max POV.
+ 1. I'll be honest, that was my reaction the first time I read a fic with breeding kink. I was like "oh. this is really something I've learnt about myself huh."
+ 2. SAME!!!! Many big loves to anybody willing to draw Max fucking Charles into oblivion while telling him he wants to get him pregnant. (jk ... but also ... 👀👀)
7 notes · View notes
chemistryread · 2 years
Text
disclaimers/tags: female oc. written as a reader insert but reader has a lot of backstory. slowburn. angst. implied domestic violence. minors dni.
a/n: some rash decisions on this one, get ready! if you love angst as much as me, this can be read as the ending, but there’s another chapter coming :) also very sorry at how long this post is, but i really wanted to make this story 4 chapters so ! anyways, enjoy and thanks all of u who have liked, rbed or commented in some way 🫶
right cowboy, wrong time
rhett abbott
part 1
part 2
summary: you’re not home and your boyfriend’s a dick. thankfully, not all cowboys are bad.
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"Did you sleep with someone else?"
"Did you?"
That was basically it.
(There was a lot of screaming and attempted emotional blackmailing you don’t bring up. What would be the point?)
You're retelling the events to Dani, working side by side with her.
A kid had joined the staff, and since he's still in school he needs the night shift. Now, you're bumped back to mornings alongside your friend. Things are looking up.
"I can't believe it was solved with one non-violent conversation."
She's actively ignoring the marks in your arms but you take her selective blindness as good-spirited. Focus on the good.
With that in mind, you don't mention how close you got to apologizing and taking it back when he questioned your ability to be alone. Saying you'd only fall on hard times once more and return to him for help. But...you were alone before him, and you were okay before him. It will work.
"I know. I mean, I'm not at all under the impression that he’s not planning some sort of revenge, mulling it over. He'll still be around for another two weeks. And we can't pretend that didn't play a huge part into how well he took it."
"Took it. Right." She laughs, handing you the clean menus to set on the counter. "Be honest. He was aware that this was the only way to do it without exhibiting lack of power. Like it was beyond anyone's control."
During your conversation, it was made clear that he did not yield, you agreed it was unsalvageable. Stupid to keep trying. And he wasn’t stupid. Dani’s right.
"Hey, I'm not disagreeing. Or complaining."
"Hey, I'm not disagreeing. Or complaining."
Her smile falters and you frown.
"I have to say, though, I was convinced you would not fall for him."
She shoves the pen and paper in your hands, along with three menus, and spins you around towards the tables.
If it isn't the little Abbotts and Amelia. Just your luck.
You do not regret it. At all. It would be spoiled of you to.
However, it obviously soured things between you and Rhett. Which is precisely what you did not want.
You meant it, when you said you didn't want to be one of his girls. In a way. You would either take him (yes, take him) out on a date and do the whole process with an open heart, or shut him out and remain nothing but the friendly waitress until you left for home and never saw him again.
The way things are right now, you can't possibly do either with an honest face.
And honesty is a huge thing for you. The motivator behind admitting to being unfaithful that night, putting yourself in a risky situation in front of your boyfriend. Ex.
Amy's smile when she sees you approach the table helps you believe in the good things again, even if only for a couple of minutes.
"Yes! I told my dad, if any of the other girls tried to serve us, I was gonna fake cry until we got you."
Rhett avoids you, taking a coin left as part of the tip from the previous seaters and flipping it between his fingers.
You wink at her and point your pen to Perry, before clicking it. "You're raising her right. What can I, and only I, get you guys?"
His cap is not wide enough to hide the circles under his eyes, and he orders a standard hangover breakfast. You exchange shy nods, but it's not confident.
Amelia’s next.
"And if I could have that with a side of that story your stupid boyfriend didn't want to read, please?"
Your jaw hangs open. She's a rockstar.
"Amy, she said no once, don't push it."
She glares at her uncle.
Perry adds, “And don't call people stupid."
"But he was! Stupid and rude."
Your giggle draws the table's eyes.
"No, he was. About time we broke up."
Her dad looks impressed, like he thought he would never see the day. It bothers you a little. You don't have the guts to look at Rhett, even if you can feel his eyes on you.
"Really?" She asks excited, and you nod. "Cool! So you can marry my dad or uncle Rhett and then you'll be in the family forever."
"Jesus."
"Amy!"
You laugh again. These men do not appreciate her humour and it's kind of sad.
"I'm too young to get married, kid! I'm not a child bride." It flies over her head but Perry laughs. You'll win him over someday. "About the story, I'm afraid I got rid of that one, it wasn't good. But when I start working on something new I'll ask you for help, deal?"
She nods with tight lips, silky straight hair shaking down her shoulders.
"Good. I'll be right back with your food."
It’s a busy morning, so they had no choice but to sit at an unclean table. You’re retrieving the plates, stacking them up against your left arm and shoving the bills into your apron’s pocket. That’s when Rhett taps the coin on the table three times, startling you.
Your eyes snap to his. Unreadable. Pupils large, deep blue flooding your insides. Nearly choking on it. He offers you the coin, you open your palm, and he drops it. All whilst maintaining eye contact. Honestly, you feared breaking it, as if the second you did your memories of each other would be erased. He doesn’t look away. Your eyebrows furrow, blinking a couple of times, clearing your throat and walking away with a weak step.
Dani mouths, what the fuck?
Your best guess is none, shrugging and taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen.
They eat peacefully, and you suspect Amelia got a talking to from her father because she sticks to polite smiles when you serve them.
They leave as you take another family's order. Back at the counter, Danielle kicks you in the calf.
"What?"
Your coworker simply nods to the back. The butterflies in your stomach can only mean one person.
Stubbornly, you fight off the urge to fix yourself or take in your reflection off the windows before stepping outside to meet Rhett.
He looks cuddly in a hoodie.
"What are you smiling at?"
Hearing his mumbled teasing is like being lift straight out of hell and into heaven.
"What do you want?"
"Asked you first."
You bite the inside of your cheek, hands clasped behind your back, playing with your rings. Hiding your nerves from him.
"Cool hoodie you got on."
"Fuck off."
You two burst into outright gross, happy giggles.
"So?"
"Were you gonna tell me you broke up?"
Your answer is fire rapid, delighting in petty revenge. "No. It's not like I'm running away with you."
He tsks once, hit.
"Right. But if you'd like to-"
"Don't." No, don't look at me like that. "I can't. Not yet."
He takes a deep breath, as if entirely too used to your bullshit, and steps closer. You let him.
"Explain."
"Yes, well, one of his ventures sailed off in Montana. He's going to move there for a while. But not yet." He looks too hopeful, and the full story scratches up your throat. "He knows I slept with someone."
A more somber expression, but he still doesn't get it. Briefly, you wonder if 'sleeping with' was too formal for what you actually did together.
"He doesn't know it's you." Your arms fall back to your sides, nails digging into your palms. "If he finds out-"
"I can handle him. Trust me."
"Look, hotshot, it's not about that. Sure, he'd probably threaten to punch any other guy who had his way with me. But one of you? And it's not like you took advantage of me, I chose you. I- I seeked you out. I wanted you. That's a whole other…I've seen what he can do when he's actually mad. When he loses. He'll want to fucking kill you."
"He's not that dangerous. You're being ridiculous."
"Hey, don't tell me I'm being ridiculous when I have suffered in his hands." He doesn't say anything to that. "Just get this through your proud little thick skull…If he hurts you because of me, it'll hate myself. Spare me, okay?"
His features soften at your confession. You wish he would simply accept circumstances for his own well-being, but if he won't, you'll appeal to his sensitive side.
"When does he leave?"
"Two weeks. I'm moving in with Dani tonight."
You didn't protest when she offered the extra room at her place, wanting out of that house before his brothers could give you a piece of their minds.
Rhett squints at the sun, hands on his hips, worn gloves poking out of his pant's pockets. He looks so much younger in the green cap and a plain gray hoodie.
"I can wait two weeks."
You want to run up to him, kiss the breakfast grease off his lips until Danielle calls you back inside to help her, run your fingers through his hair, feel the fabric tasked with warming him up.
Instead, scared he doesn't want any of that, you roll your eyes amusedly and run up the steps. You should set a calendar reminder for two weeks from now.
——————————
Thirteen days. He leaves tomorrow, finally.
In the meantime, he uncharacteristically leaves you alone. It's a very peaceful time in your life.
Rhett comes to the diner from time to time. You bump into each other at the shop and he ends up helping you put away the groceries at Danielle's, where he sees the begonias in a vase by the window. He relocates them to a better spot.
He learns more about your university and you about his family.
You put that knowledge to test one afternoon, when he comes by during your break and asks if you want to have lunch at his house. Royal eats very little and quickly returns to work, just as you had been told he would. Amy skipped school because she woke up particularly down and missing her mother (probably why Rhett thought of inviting you), therefore Perry eats even less but spends more time at the table, just looking at his daughter. You feel for him, really.
Cecilia is the one who suggests you go rest under the shade while Perry helps her clean up. You get the sense his mood is entirely affected by his daughter's, so mother and son need a moment to talk.
Amelia sits between you and Rhett, all three quietly eating fresh strawberries.
"Grandpa did say somebody messed with them. They're not as good."
You disagree. They taste pretty delicious for you, who's in the midst of licking the juice off your lips, satisfied.
But you know what she means, unfortunately. So you purposefully avoid Rhett's eyes, leaning back against the tree trunk and guiltly keeping your mouth shut.
He assured you this has happened for as long as he remembers being neighbors with your ex and his brothers.
Trying to dissipate the tension in the air, you poke Amy on the side.
"I've been writing something. Wanna read it?"
She almost drools when she smiles, shoving the open jar on her uncle's stomach and getting him sticky with splashed strawberry juice.
Reaching for your phone, you remember something.
"Oh, I bought a really pretty vase to put the even prettier flowers you got me, look!"
Rhett sits up awkwardly beside his niece as you show her a picture of the golden hour sunlight shining on the pink begonias.
"I didn't get you any flowers." She matches your confused expression. "I've been told off by grandma way too many times from messing around in her garden to do it again. But it does look really pretty."
Rhett's cheeks are burning red, and your stomach is doing flips.
Completely lost for words, you switch from the photos app to a Google drive document and hand the little girl your phone with tremendous trust. Kids are brutally honest.
"Here. It's, uhm, a horror short."
She picks it up with toddler-like grabby hands and sits back to enjoy it like it's a new young adult best seller.
Your eyes are still on the boy next to her, who's holding your gaze in an electric back and forth.
"Can I read it?"
"No."
After devouring four-thousand words, Amelia runs back to the house, shaking your phone at her dad's face, practically bragging that you let her read something of yours. Her first impression is pretty positive, if not over-the-top, and she tells you she'll write down her ideas and 'get back to you'.
Everyone chuckles when you shake her hand as if this was a business meeting. Her being the big publishing agent, of course.
Cecilia makes a comment about rushing back home, there being a lot of work to be done, when you gather your stuff so Rhett can drive you back to the diner. You simply smile at her.
You're biting your tongue, busying yourself with lowering the passenger side's window, but Rhett's getting a little too good at reading you.
"Speak now or-"
"I'm not dumb, you don't have to protect me." He laughs, unphased by your random instances of snappiness. "Of course it has something to do with me, Rhett. You think people don't talk?"
"We're not even doing anything."
"But there's a 'we', that's enough to create gossip. And I told him I had been with someone. The fight at the bar, the 4th when you knocked on his door holding my coat…You really think he hasn't put everything together?"
He's quiet. Rhett is not stupid, what he is is inconsequential. He thinks everything will always be ok.
"We have fought over girls before, it's always been like this."
It stings, to be put in such a common role in his life.
"Well," He turns his head your way, hearing how your voice wavers, and you cross your arms defensively. "I'm glad they didn't worry like I do, but I do. Your family has nothing to do with this. Your dad shouldn't have this put on his plate too."
"He'll be fine, trust me, he likes the work. He lives for it. Always has, since we were little boys. He's fine."
You just don't want your ex-boyfriend and his brothers taking things too far.
"I think your mother doesn't like me anymore."
He cackles and you pout. Of course you sound silly, you know that. But maybe this is what it's all about. His family are good people. You don't want good people to dislike you, or go through anything bad because of you.
It's not their fault you cling to those who seem nice and helpful. Sometimes you forget yourself. That you have been and can be alone. Being single is a great moment to capitalize on your independence, accept it. At least that way you won’t take anyone down with you.
Fingers snapping pull you out of your self-reproach.
"Don't…Don't spiral over what she said, alright? She just wants me to stick to the work, be responsible and stuff. Not wander off."
"Maybe you should."
Blue eyes search yours for a sign that you're kidding. Infuriating that you can't trust yourself not to breakdown around Rhett, you look straight ahead. One block away from the diner.
Your body is free of the seatbelt before the light can turn green again. "I can get out here, it's fine."
He doesn't move, and you stare at each other for what feels like minutes. Then he swallows, looks down, and unlocks the doors.
You hop out, carefully stepping around the car and onto the sidewalk. He calls out your name and a shiver runs down your spine, both because of how heartbreakingly confused he sounds and because you're scared one of your ex-boyfriend's brothers or friends just heard Rhett Abbott yell for you from his truck.
Turning around, you glance up and down the street, sighing in relief when everyone seems to continue their lives without noticing you two. You want to say sorry for being weird, for not being a better liar or knowing how to mask your feelings. But it would serve you more than him, at this point.
Instead, you step up to his window, hand closing around his own that is hanging halfway out and squeezing it.
All you say is, "Thank you."
——————————
You're a mess all day.
Spilled drinks, dropped knives and even a broken glass.
Danielle has to pull you out of your own head every five minutes, she's exhausted by the end of your shift.
You felt childish, telling her boy gossip at work. Ridiculous even, since she scrunches her nose when reminded the boy is Rhett Abbott.
Nothing against him, per se, he was just always such a predictable choice in high school, she had said. Good heart, though.
She ruthlessly mocks your insecurities but dutifully listens to your ramblings. Your worries about harming his family, moving on too fast, disappointing Amelia.
A wet dishcloth fight starts in the kitchen when she suggests you're in a little deeper than you had assumed. You hit her right across the stomach before she can profess the term 'in love'.
Because no, you refuse. He's a good boy, and you are attracted to him. You like him, obviously. Too obvious to deny. But you have to hold back.
Actually, until tomorrow. Perhaps that's why you're freaking out. When your ex leaves, everything becomes more real between you and Rhett. Or it's allowed to. It's your choice.
Dani and you are handing the night shift waiters your aprons when your phone pings.
"When was your last fun Saturday night? We're at the same bar as always. Danielles welcome. First rounds on us"
Somewhere in your texts - texting Rhett all day long at work was starting to get on Lenny's nerves, you should watch out - you had mentioned it was bound to be a girl's night at home, since Shiree was staying at a friend's for the night.
It's her first time too, so you had imagined pizza and wine to be a good way to keep Dani's heart at ease. But this could work too.
You show her the text, and she immediately smiles. You know it's been a while.
Eighteen. That's how old you were the last time you got to dress up as a single woman for a night out.
You're aware this isn't Boston, however. Tricking an entitled Harvard Law alumni into paying for your drinks is not up for grabs tonight, so you don't go too overboard. Still, Dani is a little speechless when she comes out of the shower. Right back at her, honestly (even though she definitely looks local and you don't).
Danielle drives to the bar, and you're already having a great time critiquing her stiff driving, begging her to relax.
"Wait, Perry's not thinking that we…"
"No, I don't think so."
"Good, makes things less awkward when you and his little brother make your eventual escape."
"That's not going to happen." She looks at you like she really doesn't believe that. You point two other trucks in the parking lot, owned by your ex and his brothers. "Even if I wanted to, it's not a good idea."
"Shit, I'm sorry. Do you want to leave? We can still get pizza."
You smile at her, sincere. You'll miss her so much.
"It's fine, I figured. It's his last day. Hopefully, we will all stay on different sides of the room and he will be enjoying his going-away party too much to care about lil' old me."
Perry's hand comes up as soon as you step inside.
Both of them do a doubletake of your outfit, lingering on the bright red cliché cowboy boots, but you decide to pretend you don't feel their eyes on your bare legs. Rhett gets up to greet you (you honestly didn't expect him to) and your words slip out before you can contain them.
"You smell good." He laughs, and Dani groans a playful 'oh my God' behind you. He's pink. You pat him in the shoulder with a sympathetic smile. "Sorry."
"I'll get another round."
Perry gets up to greet you as well and struts to the bar.
Rhett finds it strange when you take the seat across from him, instead of by his side, but you decide to stick to a good behaviour tonight.
The four of you fall easily into conversation. It's nice when they speak about their school memories and you get to listen, watch them remember and cringe at their old selves.
Your legs are stretched under the table, incidentally in between Rhett's spread legs. He gives you a small kick whenever he catches you looking over the divider to guarantee your ex is not searching for you. So far, so breezy. It's weird.
The other two drink faster, which is why, you assume, Dani jumped at the opportunity to dance with an old flame the minute he recognized her. Perry went to the bathroom.
It's just you and him.
He looks mostly sober and his tanned skin is glowing nicely under the bar's scarce lighting. His hair looks especially droopy.
You smile at him sheepishly.
"I'm sorry, I have to ask. The begonias. What was that about?"
"Oh, God. C'mon. Do you have to?"
The words push through gritted teeth, his entire body recoils in embarrassment.
You simply nod, leaning forward with a teasing grin.
When you do, your legs draw back, but not too much. He doesn't let them. His boots trap your ankles, dragging them forward, closer again.
Rhett’s pupils darken at the way you jump and you bite your cheeks so hard your dimples cave impossibly deep.
It'd be stupid not to take advantage of the moment. You blink slowly. "Please?"
Teeth trap his lower lip, but he quickly rolls his shoulders back.
"It was me. You figured that much." He looks at your for confirmation. Amelia wasn't subtle, and he was even less. "Why did I lie? Uhm, I- Shit, after you said you used to hang out with street racers, well, I felt like a loser giving you flowers from my mother's garden."
You laught at his face. Unabashedly. A nice surprise when he actually laughs along.
"Stupid, right?"
You love when he acts shy. Mousy.
"No. I never got flowers before. I would've liked knowing they were from you."
Your heart beats faster at how wide open this moment is. He did something no one has ever done for you, and you liked it. You liked that he did. And you just told him that.
"More than if they were from Amy?"
You can't look away from his eyes.
"Yes. But don't tell her that."
Perry scares the two of you by slapping the table. He's very much drunk.
"Your turn to get the drinks."
He points at Rhett, who hesitates before awkwardly smiling at you and sliding out of his seat.
The older Abbott is kind of all over the place, so you return his favor from many nights ago and look away, turning your attention to a very relaxed Danielle enjoying the dancefloor.
"I just talked to them in the toilet, you know." The brother finally directs his words at you. He must think you were looking for your ex's table. "They're not happy about this. At all. And they don't like when folks think they're idiots."
"I know. I don't mean to-"
"Yeah, you never do. But all of you who get obssessed with my little brother did not grow up here. You haven't dealt with- You don't know what these lands are like. Consequently, you don't understand the people. Who can blame you?"
You think obssessed is mean.
"I'm sorry, Perry."
"Appreciate that. Still should leave him alone. You've played with him long enough, don't you agree?"
You sip your beer. His eyes are looking past you, venting to no one in particular. Not personal.
"Right."
As a reflex, you look for Rhett. The reason why he is taking so long leaning next to him, making him stutter and laugh.
"Oh, yeah, and then there's that." Perry points the bottom of his beer at Maria. "Sixteen. The first time I saw him look at her like that, and he still does. Not a difference. My folks believe he'll marry her, if he ever gets the chance to."
"What are you saying, Perry?"
You're running out of patience. You never liked people who only spoke their true feelings when intoxicated, while you made an effort to be honest all the time. Well, guess you haven't been doing much of that here.
"Look, you're fine. But who are we kidding? You want big things, you go to a fancy school, you probably drink cocktails during happy hour."
You feel small when he laughs. His attention turns to his brother letting the beer sweat on the counter, transfixed on Maria talking. That's all she's doing, and he looks gone for. Her hand is on his shoulder and he's leaning into it.
"Bless him. He's never gonna leave. And he deserves to find love here, with a nice girl who knows what this place is about, how to deal with a guy like him. And with his family."
If you had eaten anything, it would be coming up.
Did you embarrass yourself with his mother, with Royal? Was there something in the story Amy read that was inappropriate? Did they make fun of you behind your back, at Sunday lunch?
A million thoughts swarm your brain.
"Shit, I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry."
Perry laughs again, with his whole body, and it draws Rhett's attention from the bar. You look away.
"Don't worry about it."
His eyes widen, instant sobriety, seeing you stand up. Before Rhett can join you back at the table, you're fleeing to the bathroom.
When you reach the door, someone walks out of the men's. Your eyes meet, and your ex is the second guy to laugh at you in the span of sixty seconds.
A young girl leaves one of the stalls and lets you borrow her eyedrops, and in a record three minutes, you're walking to the table as if nothing happened.
Rhett is trying to convince Perry to finish the beer in front of him before getting another and Dani is nowhere to be seen.
You're happy for her, letting her hair down. Selfishly, you also think that if she were at the table she would see right through you and ask what's wrong, and you'd start crying all over again. These boys don't have the feeling for that sort of stuff. Good.
The youngest does search your face extensively, however, reaching for your hands under the table. You pull away, leaning your head on them.
You ask Perry about Amelia, a subject you know will make him go on for hours. Ten minutes in, Dani rejoins you with a bit of a flushed look. You smile at her and let the proud father continue.
With three other people there to react and respond, your mind takes the liberty to drag you out of the moment and consider what you've been told.
It isn't wrong.
You don't belong here. Maybe Rhett thinks you are his ticket out, but you don't want to take him away from his family. No, he doesn't want that either. He's better off with someone who, as said, knows this life. Their identity meshing with the dry air, blending in with the colorful streamers in the arena every weekend. Rolls with the punches, all the machismo, better. Can be happy with and despite.
Unfinished business waits for you in Boston. A life. Your life.
And Maria. You won't pretend to know her very well, but she seems liked wherever she goes. Fondly remembered and broadly welcomed. Nice, beautiful, educated and most of all familiar. Ran away from her hometown long enough to be interesting, returned in enough time to be seen as grateful. Prodigal daughter.
The way you have seen him look at her. Bask in her warmth.
It's a really sweet tale.
You think of how often you brought his peaceful mood down with your own paranoia. You took the prize he won to help yourself. How many times did he become anxious and upset when he was around you?
Standing in his way is the worst thing you can do to someone, a family who is kind.
You don't want him to think you were using him or to notice any changes (yet), so when Perry and Dani finish talking about their kids, you spark back to life to ask if anybody's hungry.
"It's early enough that we can still get that pizza."
The perfect comfort food. You nearly melt into her, the two of you holding hands and getting up. "Are you…?"
"Why wouldn't we?"
Rhett asks, and he seems apprehensive. Did you fail already?
Dani shoots you a weird, questioning look.
"I don- I don't know. Just asking."
Perry is still tipsy, heedless. "Want to ask Maria if she wants to come?"
Your hand is painfully squeezed by Dani, and you squeeze back to avoid any awkwardness.
"What?"
"Just saying."
They're standing nose to nose, and it's weird to watch.
You clear your throat, tugging Danielle forward. "We're going! Walking out the door now!"
It breaks your heart when Rhett jogs behind you, catching up and hugging you from behind, swinging your body to the side like he's going to pick you up. He notices your laugh is strained.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah-"
"Abbott!"
You should've made a more discreet exit.
"Yes?” His arms slip away from your form, turning towards your ex-boyfriend, and you enter a state of panic. “I'm all ears."
You almost move to pull him back before catching yourself. Filled by a weird feeling of deja vu. This is ridiculous.
"Did you think I wouldn't kick your ass on my last night?"
"Try me."
"Hey, don't touch-"
Big hands push Perry, and he stumbles back before you and Dani catch him.
Fed up, you place yourself in the line of sight of both men. Not exactly in between them, but close.
Rhett looks at you for a significant amount of time considering the tempers. It's a clear message. Go ahead, if you want, but I won't entertain it.
"Really, she's got you on a leash already? I have to hand it to ya, I never thought-"
You walk towards him, pulling on his arm for the last time, so you can talk. Eye to eye.
It's hard to say what the other three can hear. You're not whispering, but it's for you and him only.
"It's over. You and I are fucking free. Aren't you relieved? I am. And look at you-" You pat him on the chest, with a proud smile. "Big things in Montana. Lots to look forward to. And you're still stuck on this? Both of us are meant for greater things than this town and anyone in it. Let go."
Lying through your fucking teeth. This place has rotten you.
He smiles, hat casting a shadow over your eyes.
"See, I knew you never stopped being smart."
You return his grin. Sick.
"And you're smarter than your brothers. Tell them to stop messing with the Abbott land before you get a chunky lawsuit. It's not worth it."
Glossy eyes roll to the back of his head, hands on his hips. Doesn't admit it, but not arguing. You smile, self-satisfied.
"Have a good one."
Before you can walk away, he grabs your wrist. Rhett takes a step forward and Danielle tries to cuss him out but is scared of him too, and it dies in her throat.
"You know he's in love with the other girl, right?"
Two seconds ago, he was a big man ready to get physical. Now he's whispering in your ear, fighting dirty.
You sigh, and look straight into his eyes. Laying everything out for him, more than he deserves.
"I know."
He lets go of you, and you flash a last fake smile for him, before walking away.
"And you're okay with that?"
He yells. The others act as bystanders, trying to piece together your conversation.
"Don't worry." You exclaim already on your way to Dani's truck, loud enough for him to hear. "Didn't mean anything."
Readjusts his hat, shakes his head. Boisterous laugh. To Rhett, he says, “Another time. I feel sorry for you, now.”
You look past Rhett's puzzled face, shrugging. Your ex goes back inside.
"Can't believe that worked."
Dani comes up to you, tossing her keys into your hands. You grin. Smart woman.
"Pizza. Please." Perry mumbles like a sedated patient, Rhett helping him stay up.
"Try and keep up."
It's all you say before climbing behind the wheel, releasing a big exhale. Face muscles sore from the strain of forcing yourself to smile so many times in one conversation.
"Okay?" Dani caresses your arms. Smart fucking woman.
The taste in your mouth is revolting, stomach sinking as the words echo in your head. Sorry for him, what an asshole. And you propped him up to believe it, to say it to his face. Lying is taking a real toll on you.
"Will be."
Your emotions are behind your fast driving, as they have always been. Dani's tipsy fit of laughter is an added bonus to the experience.
Perry is just as delighted when you park.
"What the hell, woman?"
You clear the hair in your mouth, smiling wide at the brothers.
"Just showing off. Who's hungry? I'm starving."
Due to your recent change of plans, you have decided a night eating pizza with a group of nice people could be a good lasting memory.
No more overthinking and paranoia. For tonight.
They all look happier when you pretend everything's fine. (Rhett's smile is actually not reaching his eyes, and it concerns you over how much he heard, but you will not think about that tonight).
You'll leave when you're supposed to and they will recover very well.
——————————
The Abbotts come in for breakfast a few times. Even Royal.
Every time, you stash the tips they leave for you in Danielle's box.
You have enough money to go home, pay for your last year and support yourself until you find a job. Actually, you've had it for over a week.
It's hard to imagine leaving. Saying goodbye is terrible. You think about Amy. Part of you wants to pretend like you're way short just so you can stay a little longer.
To silence that part, you buy your ticket and call the university, arranging your schedule. There's a date. And a ridiculous cancel fee.
The following week is spent soaking up the familial nights with Dani and Shiree, watching Pixar movies and eating ice cream.
Giving Lenny a precocious Christmas present. An air freshener for his car, he kept mumbling about his husband asking for one but forgetting to buy it.
Visiting the Abbotts.
Cecilia and Royal appreciate the company of a new person not trying to steal, buy or camp on their land. You give Amy two of your favorite books, a horror novel and one on writing. She promises not to snitch on you.
Perry takes you on a horse walk and you forgive him. He has no recollection of telling you anything, instead, he talks about how much he loves his brother, wants the best for him. It eases your initial reaction that night.
Rhett asks for a date. Friday night. Drive-in movies. You have a whole argument about whether or not it should be official.
"If it's a racing movie, will you say yes?"
"Only if it's Tokyo Drift. I love Han."
(It isn't. It's Grease 2 for, what he says, the third time that year.)
He doesn't understand why you want to go 'as friends'. It's really hard, too, because you've secretly always dreamed about a small town drive-in date.
He gets the better of you.
You go, and hold hands, and he kisses you in his truck. You joke about the windows fogging up. He drops you off at Danielle's with another kiss. A proper goodbye, slow. Hands on your ass and wet noises that you hope the neighbors don't hear. (Danielle does and mocks you relentlessly.)
He invites you to have dinner with his family the next day. You leave on Tuesday morning.
You're washing the dishes while he dries them. Perry brings a sleepy Amelia in his arms to kiss you goodnight. She compliments your strawberry-patterned dress for the tenth time. Royal and Cecilia watch TV on the couch, nearly asleep themselves.
"I think he doesn't know how to tell you, but Perry likes having you around Amy. Like a big sister she never got."
The sponge slips out of your hands, thoughts of his brother's drunken words coming back to you. Actually, this is as good a segue as you're going to get.
"Mhm, I don't know."
"What?"
"I adore her, obviously. But I'm more like the young English teacher she apparently missed out on. Which is a real shame, those are important when you're growing up."
"Don't get a lot of young teachers around here."
He's watching you suspiciously as you hand him the last plate. Too used to your bullshit.
"I'm just saying, maybe I'm not the role model for a little girl like her. I have no family, no prospects, a regrettable love life. I'm an abandoned Bostonian, for crying out loud. Struggling to pay for school and a small apartment, for myself. Not really the poster child for a bright and respectable future in the western lands."
Rhett carries the dry plates back to the cupboard.
"I don't like it when you talk about yourself like that." Please, shut up. Don't be nice now, I'm trying to get at something. "You're just different from us. And, just 'cause she likes you doesn't mean she wants to be you."
You think about the writing book you gave her. What a hypocrite you are.
"Younger siblings tend to look up to the older." He smiles, as if you're personally attacking him. "Hey, you brought up the metaphorical sister stuff. I said teacher."
"So you're teaching her to be you?"
"No! I-" You groan and steal the cloth from his shoulder to slap him with. Folding it in your hand, you swallow your feelings to be able to muster your sentence. "All I mean is that, yes, she should have a good influence in her life that isn't related to her by blood. But it should be someone who is consistent, similar. Someone she can relate to but also trust. Possibly, someone she already knows. That all of you do."
You're struggling not to say her name.
"Are you or are you not talking about yourself?"
He's genuinely confused and you sigh into the folded dishtowel. "Nevermind."
The parents sleep soundly, leaning on each other. You think of how long they’ve been together, how much they’ve gone through. Still so supportive of each other and their family. It’s a nice reality you know nothing about.
Cautious not to wake the couple on the couch, you step carefully around the living room and pick up your discarded coat and purse. You're trying to quietly slip on your Vans when Rhett puts a hand behind your back to steady you.
"I was thinking you could stay."
Glad to have strong arms to hold onto, you nearly let yourself fall back into him, basking in the unapologetic seduction in his words. But you think of the disrespect of having sex while his family is sleeping, sneaking out of the room many girls have snuck out of before, just to move back home in three days.
"I really should go." You smile. "But I'm gonna need help walking in these to Dani's truck without falling on my ass."
He laughs. "Useless fuckin' shoes."
Light rain is still falling, rattling the leaves. It smells amazing. You see the dogs taking cover in the driveway.
You'll miss this so much.
The two of you walk like senior citizens, shuffling your feet to avoid an accident, to the car.
"Okay. Thanks."
You chuckle as he opens the door.
Quickly, you throw your stuff on the passenger seat and climb inside, very obviously avoiding saying a real, kiss-involving, goodbye to him.
He squints his eyes but opts for brushing it off, complimenting you instead.
"You look really pretty tonight."
Don't think about him saying it to her when you hand him over in a platter.
"Thank you. So do you."
You're smiling, but not moving to touch each other.
After a beat, he gives up.
"Alright, goodnight. Drive safe." He steps back, hands in his pockets. You think of a teenage Rhett saying goodbye to his dates. "Like a normal person would."
An awkward, disingenuous laugh. Turning the ignition. Calm before the storm.
"Night."
Your foot is on the pedal before you can regret everything. Before you can tell him that you're so sorry about leaving this way.
In the rearview mirror, you watch him wait until you're completely outside of the gate, then jog back inside.
The whole way home, you think you're going to cry. But you're empty. Resolute.
On Sunday, you ignore his calls, eventually texting him that you're busy with Danielle and you'll talk tomorrow.
It's all true.
Dani had been an unbelievable friend, so you figured she deserved to know that you were leaving before everyone else.
Truthfully, you expected a better reaction.
She had seen you save money, she knows you want to finish school and that if it weren't for her, you'd have nothing keeping you here. She pulls the full truth out of you and you agree that the Abbotts would be a reason to stay.
Except they aren't.
You tell her all about Perry's accidental revelation, the logic behind your sudden leave and why it is better this way.
"Don’t you think Perry would only say that if he was scared his brother is falling in love with you?"
You glared at her, then. Begging silently to not be encouraged in favor of optimism and romance.
"No. He made it clear he thought I was wasting his time, preventing him from being with the person he actually needs."
"Maria? They’ve had their chance and neither of them has ever done anything about it, that should say enough."
"Dani-"
"And, so what? Your feelings don’t matter, are not worth seeing through because he had a crush on the girl everyone had a crush on?"
Reinforcing how desired she is doesn’t help.
"Please. Stop."
It's safe to say she doesn't agree, and she calls you a moron a handful of times, but ultimately concedes when she sees you've made up your mind.
"I think you'll regret the way you're going about it. But I've also never seen you backtrack on a decision. For better or worse, we'll see."
She helps you pack and write your resignation letter, and you end the night watching another Pixar movie with Shiree and ice cream.
Your phone sits on the bedside table all day, untouched.
—————————
It's Monday, your last here.
Lenny is the most supportive, happy to hear you're going to finish school. He requests that you send graduation pictures, and it's a great idea.
You and Dani spend your entire shift attached to the hip as it's a slow day, talking about how she'll be miserable again at work and you will look for her in every diner you go to.
Like a storm to finish the day, a sweaty Amelia Abbott bursts through the doors. Did she run here?
"Is it true?"
"Amy, what are you-"
"Shiree said you're leaving tomorrow. Is it true?"
You look back at Danielle, who has an apologetic look on her face. Turning back to the little girl, you're ready to beg for forgiveness at the sight of her blue eyes filling up with tears.
"Oh, Amy, I was gonna say goodbye."
She turns and runs out of the diner. Danielle is already dialing Perry to let him know that he should drive past the school. Right after, she bolts out of the back door to go get her before she gets too far.
The heartbroken child sulks into her father's car, and you watch from the counter.
Dani comes back inside, walks past you into the lockeroom, and comes back again with her own keys.
"There's like an hour left."
"It's your last day, he won't even notice, go."
You sit there, picking your words, before starting the truck. For someone who calls herself a writer, you're often out of right things to say.
The quiet inside the house when you knock is daunting.
Perry opens the door, and he looks distressed, almost pleading for you to come in and explain.
Inside, Rhett is looking at you in disbelief.
"I was going to say goodbye, I promise."
"Can somebody, please, tell me what's going on?"
It's funny that Rhett, expert mutterer, is the one who understood what a crying Amelia was saying. Now, you can hear soft sobs from one of the rooms with the door closed.
"I'm going home tomorrow. Back to university. Quit today. I only told Danielle yesterday, but she told Shiree so she wouldn't have a shock and then she told Amelia at school."
The father looks unsurprised, which in turn surprises you.
You point to the closed bedroom door. "Can I try?"
He nods.
You sit down in front of the door, knocking first.
"Amy, it's me. I'm sorry. I was going to say goodbye. I'm sorry you found out this way, really." You breathe in. "Look, I have one year left. Remember when I showed you the campus pictures? I love that place. I love what I study. I want to be able to practice it. It's…who I am. I'm going after what I most want. We talked about doing things for ourselves, right? That's all this is, okay? My number stays the same, and you can send me any draft you write, anytime. Or questions your stubborn old English teachers don't want to answer. Any book report you need help with. I'm not too far away, Amy. It'll be fine."
Your eyes are closed, brows furrowed in hopes that she's actually listening instead of shoving her earbuds in like you used to when your foster parents tried to discipline you.
There's more that you wan't to promise her. That she can visit you, that you'll write letters to each other to practice, that you'll come see her. But that would make you too present in the Abbotts' life. You made sure she can reach out to you if she needs, and your communication will be direct. If you sent a letter, everyone at the house would be reminded of your existence. It's not what you're after.
There's no response, so you stand up, smoothing your clothes silently.
Rhett's chair screeches against the floor and he swings the front door wide open, stepping outside. It's your cue to follow. Perry stops you on the way to say he'll try and get Amy to come out and hug you goodbye, which you find oddly sympathetic.
You lean against the porch, watching him pace in front of you.
"I don't get it."
"C'mon. You funded part of my back to school campaign. Hardly a surprise that I'm going back to school, is it?"
"Don't be fucking sassy with me now."
You take a deep breath, preparing to fill the shoes of the asshole. It's deserving.
"Rhett-"
"What? How are you gonna defend this? Amy's heartbroken. Again. You think she likes to be left like this? Time after time. And with no warning. Swept off her feet."
You suspect he's not talking about his niece.
"I'm sorry."
"Sure, yeah." He finally stops pacing. You're standing in front of him, your hands clasped in front of your body, eyes burning against the sun. "I thought…"
"I apologize if I lead you on-"
"You didn't lead me on, kitten, you meant it. What happened to your honesty? Why are you lying to me?"
Right into your lap.
"That's the thing, Rhett. I don't know. Ever since I've been here, what I've done the most is lie. Sneak around. I don't like it. I don't belong here, and it shows."
"Bullshit! Who told you that? Was it one of those blonde fucking pricks?"
"Please, I can't have thoughts of my own?"
"Not insecure ones like this, no."
This is more hurtful than what you imagined. But it's good that he's being honest. You'll remember these words forever and probably be too embarrassed to return here.
"Like I said, I'm sorry."
He throws his hat on the ground, stepping right up to you, grabbing your hands in his.
"Stop fighting yourself."
It shakes you to your core, to hear what you needed to all your life. And from someone who you…
You can't.
"Jesus, Rhett! Wake up!" You push his hands away. "This is your life, your family. Doesn't it matter to you? It's not about me. You need to step up for them, and I'm not the girl who's going to get you there, I'm just not! So you need to find her. If you haven't already."
His blue eyes have never been icier. You can imagine what he thinks of you now. Manipulative. Spoiled. Deceiving.
In the background, Royal's sprinting on top of a horse, cussing angrily. You question Rhett.
"What's up with him?"
He runs a hand across his forehead, reluctant.
"Our dear neighbors are convinced we trespassed their property and are legally demanding we give it back. It's a, uh, considerable amount of good land."
You feel like snapping that useless piece of shit in two. Had it not been enough? To tell him that it meant nothing, that you weren't going to stay with him or feed into this silly rivalry…
You praised him while backstabbing Rhett for him to betray you one last time?
He notices your thousand-yard stare nearly setting fire to all the grass in your vicinity. He warns you, calling your name in a way that says 'don't'.
"Those shitheads- Son of a bitch! I asked him…"
Rhett finally closes the distance, fingers kneading the knots on your shoulders as you huff, exasperated.
"Relax. This shows it has nothing do with you."
His hands massage your neck, thumbs caressing the ends of your jawline, and you close your eyes for a second.
"How so?"
"I'm assuming that's what you pulled him aside the other night to talk about. Play the game. Boost his ego, ensure I'm no threat, and he'd leave us alone. Because you're smart. If it was about you, they would have stopped. It didn't work, so it's unrelated to you, right? It's business. You don't understand, forget it."
You let him pull you in for a hug, stroking your hair while your arms envelop his body.
But then, it hits you. You don't understand. Maybe you made things worse by talking to him, maybe he told his brothers to punch harder, or didn't talk to them at all. Once again, you're proven to be out of your element. You wonder if she would have made this mistake. Or if she would have known the right way to handle this, them. Part of you roots for her.
You push him off.
"Or I wasn't convincing enough. Leaving can still make things better."
"Is that why you're going?"
"Rhett-" You're tired. Can't he just yell, grab your arm, tell you to never show up here again. That, you know how to thread. "It's not why, but it's a damn good reason."
He laughs at you, incredulous. Like he can't take you seriously. Like his brother, when he was drunk. It's a nauseating sight.
"Ok. So, what, you're bad for me? Get over yourself."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me." He's in your face again. "You really think that works on me? Is that how stupid you think I am? You’re bullshitting."
How is he controlling the situation? How did this happen?
"What do I do with that?"
"Tell the truth."
"I am!"
"Not that. Just two weeks ago. Prick's last night in town. You said to him, it didn't mean nothing. What didn't?"
"I didn't know you heard that."
"Well?"
"You and I. It didn't mean anything, soon enough I'd go back to Boston and you'd stay here."
"Did you lie to him, or to me?"
"I have a ticket back to Boston so-"
"Did it mean nothing to you?"
He's staring you down, breathing fast on your face, eyes searching yours for any signs of weakness.
It's right in front of him. The answer.
All these years valuing honesty, putting it on a pedestal, clinging to it as the one virtue you can count on… It made you a terrible liar.
He knows. You realize, then, that his point isn't to hear that you cared for him and that it wasn't all meaningless. Your leaky eyes, heaving chest, gritted teeth, it shows him that you do care.
He's asking you to speak up. To fight for yourself, instead of against. He probably doesn't mind you going back to school, he helped you, even. All he wants is to hear it.
Are you going to let go, tell him how much he means to you and that you'll be back for him? Or will you cower and run, leaving him behind?
You swallow an entire speech.
Rhett backs off, side-eyeing you one last time as he walks towards the steps, before turning to you. "In that case, you're probably right."
Then, Amelia interrupts your moment, running past her uncle and almost knocking him down in the process. You almost tumble yourself with the force of her hug.
It's crushing, and wet from her tears. You smooth her hair.
As fast as she came, she goes. Her weight is missed.
She takes her uncle's hand as she goes up the porch's steps, Perry watching from the doorway.
You fish for the truck's keys in your pocket, hearing the wooden door of the house shut behind you.
—————————
It's an even quieter than usual morning for the Abbotts.
The goddamn dogs look disinterested.
Amy woke up asking to skip school again, but his brother said no. She has spoons under her eyes to try and downsize the puffiness.
He didn't cry. Why would she?
Danielle called, he's not sure why, to say that you were gone. And to relay that you sent Amy a hello, wished her a good day in school.
Life is swift.
They'll be fine.
But he doesn't get it. At first, he thought he could save you from a poor excuse of a man. He had stolen girls from the boys next door before.
Eventually, the obvious dawned on him. They're not teenagers anymore.
You weren't nice to him to be saved, you were just nice. Yourself. Even if you hid, guarded up, dipped your toes in the water before diving. It was only fair. You decided he was good enough to let in.
And then he had screwed it up by fucking you in a strange place against a wall. Coming inside you with no regard for your well-being despite telling you he wanted to make you feel good. Instead, he probably ended up making you feel like another notch under his belt.
He was terrified. That he had lowered your expectations on people even more, convincing you to stay with your boyfriend because it doesn’t look too much better out there; that he had shown you his worst side and you'd never want to look at him again.
But you smiled, just a few days after. Teased him like he noticed you only did with him. Told him he had nothing to worry about, while you worried sick for him and his family. Didn't let him ease your nerves. A no-good, infuriating tendency to be self-righteous.
He knows- He knew you. What he doesn't understand is why you couldn't break those vices for him. What else could he have done to make you feel safe enough to?
You'd sacrifice yourself if it meant his family would be alright.
Did he not make it clear that he doesn't want you to? That, as long as you're gone, he will not be alright? And if he's not alright, he can't step up or whatever you said.
Then, there was all that talk about Maria. Obviously, the woman still affects him. They never got their chance, it's bound to make him wonder…
But even after all these years, he has no clue who she is. What she likes, what she hates. He knows her story by accidentally being part of it, and even then, he doesn't know it that well.
In a few months you managed to leak into every bit of his life. He memorized all of the pieces that built you, made the effort to. And he wanted more. He wanted you everywhere.
Everyone but his niece was skeptical. They liked you despite how vastly different you are, it scared them. For a family who has been through enough hardships, change is always uncomfortable. He spent nights awake thinking about how he could sprinkle a good word about you every dinner, maybe recruiting Amy, so that you'd feel loved by them too. They could love you, he's sure of it.
He doesn't understand why he's not enough. You must have noticed his effort. Sure, he wasn't too good with romance but he never gave up on you. It's not entitlement, you don't owe him anything, he chose you. Like you had said once, that you chose him. What changed?
Why was he not enough?
His mother is frustrated, to put it lightly, that now her two sons brood around the house, and so does her granddaughter. His dad spends even more time working to avoid the off-putting energy in the house.
So she suggests no one goes to Lenny's diner for a while. And that they all go watch him ride on Friday. Then they'll get some good chicken wings on the way home. Together (she means no bar after, no drinking).
They obey dilligently.
The show that night is good, he scores a great time. Maria is there. Not surrounded by blonde assholes, just her friends, he notices. Approachable.
They'll be fine.
————————
last part coming soon :)
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