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fangirl-dot-com · 4 months

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Incorrect Quotes

all of these were from Pinterest - cause I'm not this funny (I also couldn't wait for the next chapter to come out so here :D)

Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated <3

TAG LIST IS OPEN! - 26 spots still open! (please send me a direct message to be added!)

Y/n: I’m cool Oscar Y/n: I’m THEE coolest Y/n: In fact, I was once arrested for being too cool *puts on sunglasses* Oscar: The charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence. Also, your glasses are upside down.

Y/n: I have a very specific type Max: Oh yeah? Like what? Y/n: Y’know…polite, handsome, athletic…that sort of thing Arthur (on his fourth energy drink of the day) tripping over camera wires and holding his mic upside down: you little shit eating, damned pathetic piece of shit – now you listen here Y/n: *heart eyes* that one. I want that one. Max: *flabbergasted*

Lando: bet you’re standing in the corner because you’re scared that you’ll get turned down if you talk to anyone Y/n: please, I could fluster near everyone at this party if I chose to Oscar: oh yeah? Prove it. Go for someone borderline impossible and I’ll believe you Y/n, approaching Arthur: hey dumbass, hoodie looks kind of cute on you, wanna get out of here? Arthur: WH- I MEAN- UHHHH YEAH SURE Y/n: perfect Oscar and Lando:

Y/n: I brought a red bull Max: I don’t want a red bull Y/n: I didn’t bring this for you. This is my red bull. Max: then why are you telling me? Y/n: It’s a conversation starter. Max: That’s a lousy conversation starter Y/n: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate *sips red bull*

Y/n: *gently taps table* Logan: *taps back* Alex: what are they doing? George: morse code Y/n: *aggressively taps table* Logan: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Lewis: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated Y/n: Killed without hesitation Lewis: nO!

Y/n: Is stabbing someone immoral? Mitch: Not if they consent to it. Max: Depends on who you’re stabbing. Christian: YES?!

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Y/n: Shit Logan: Wait, three? Cop: yeah? Lando: OH MY GOSH OSCAR FELL OFF!!

Max: Time for plan G. Liam: Don’t you mean plan B? Daniel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Y/n: What about plan D? Daniel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Max: What about plan E? Liam: I’m hoping not to use it. I die in plan E Yuki: I like plan E.

Christian: Did none of you think this was a bad idea? *Y/n, Max, Charles, and Arthur covered in navy and red paint* Y/n: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway.

George: (in sunglasses and newest Tommy Hilfiger jumpsuit) *in the most posh accent* I’m too good for revenge Logan: (covered in bug spray, cowboy hat and overalls on, pumped full of Bang energy drink and high on freedom) *cocks shotgun* Well, I’m not. Give me the name.

Arthur: So what’s your type? Y/n: Kinda long blond hair, green eyes, dumb, dimples, funny, really thin waist Arthur: Huh, that kind of sounds like me! Too bad its not me! Y/n: did I mention dumb? Arthur: yeah, why? Y/n: just making sure

*Over Text*

Y/n: Hey pretty boy, what’re you up to? :) Arthur: Eating cereal in bed Y/n: And what would you be doing if I was in bed with you? Arthur:…I would still be eating my cereal?

Waitress: And what would you like to eat? Y/n: I wish to devour the unborn Fernando: Eggs, she would like eggs

Y/n: Do you think that when sheep go to sleep they count themselves? Lando: Or do they count humans? Y/n: Ooo, that’s a good question Oscar: GO TO SLEEP

Y/n to Max: because I am a mature adult *turns to see Mitch, Christian, and Vito shake their heads* *turns back to Max* Y/n: I am an adult

*Dinner with Max, Y/n, Charles, and Arthur*

Y/n: The food is too cute, I can’t eat it! Max: Charles: Arthur: You’re cute, but I’d still eat y- Max: ONE DINNER Charles: *sighs* here we go again Max: ONE NORMAL DINNER IS ALL I ASK Y/n: Charles, this pasta is also crunchy, I truly can’t eat this

Ollie: Good night everyone Arthur: Good night Lando: Good night Oscar: Good night Y/n: good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Tonight, imma fight until we see the sunlight. Tik tok on the clock, but the party don’t stop Oscar: I’M DONE

George (t-posing in the doorway): Greetings, parental figures and sister figure *Y/n, Lewis, and Toto walking past* Toto (not looking up from his coffee): Good morning, problem child

Christian: You see, Fernando, Y/n is at the age where she only has one thing on her mind Fernando (noticeably excited): Oh! Oh! Oh! Boys? Max (looking over at the dead tired rookie with revenge in her eyes as she looks at Esteban): No. Murder.

Y/n: Hey Liam, want some of this food? Liam: Sure, thanks! Yuki (storming in with the anger of the gods): WHO TF ATE MY LEFTOVERS THAT CLEARLY HAD MY NAME ON IT Y/n: WE did Liam: You surprisingly smart little mf

Y/n: Never have I ever…Been grounded by my parents! Arthur (exasperated): Every time. She makes disownment jokes every time and she always wins Max: Good one Kid. I always go for the ‘never had a dad who supported me.’ Charles: *stands up and walks away*

Y/n: I’ve only said I love you to four people. Christian, Vito, Arthur, and Max when I thought he died after he wouldn’t respond after a DNF. I only regret one of those Lando: Which one? Y/n: Max. He was just pressing the wrong button and walked out a few minutes later. He made me look like an idiot. Max: I let you win next race Y/n: still

(Y/n, Logan, Lando, and George trying to sneak into RB for more energy drinks after being banned from drinking more)

Logan: So what do you think Y/n will do as a distraction? Lando: She’ll probably, like, make a noise George: Or throw a rock. That’s what I would do *The door flings open and smoke follows. Screams of mechanics fill the air as they try to extinguish a small fire* Logan:…Or she could do that.

Y/n: When I die, donate my entire body to science Y/n: Except my middle finger, give that to Esteban

(max and y/n in a horror movie)

Max: QUICK YOU’RE LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? Y/n (bleeding out): tall, male, brown hair, dimples, caring, supportive, Monegasque Max: BLOOD TYPE DUMBASS Y/n: oh Y/n: (looks down at wound) Y/n: red

Lando: I wish we could block people in real life. Oscar: Restraining order Y/n: Murder

Christian: Y/n, we need to talk about your professionalism for media days Y/n (and a lot of media personelle she rounded up, all standing on chairs): those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava

Y/n (to Max while hiding behind some tires – regretting everything): and then I called him dad Christian (to Geri – trying not to cry while cameras are everywhere): and then she called me dad

Max: Christian, look what Y/n got me for father’s day *holds up generic #1 dad mug* Christian (glaring silently while sipping from his own #1 dad mug) Max: that lying rookie Vito (holding a worn down #1 dad mug): you guys are late to the party suckers

Criminals: We have your daughter and son Toto: I don’t have a daughter and Jack is right here Criminals: then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwiches? Christian: dear God, you have Y/n and George

Mitch: So Christian, you and Geri want to be a parents again someday? Christian: Someday? We’re parents right now. Mitch: Y/n is your employee Geri: She is our BLOOD

Christian: Max is late again Kelly: I woke him up at 8 and pretended it was 11 Y/n: I wrote a fake schedule saying we were starting at 9 instead of 12 Lando: I changed his clock from AM to PM Christian: I think you may have overdone it Max (bursting into the garage): WHAT YEAR IS IT?

Y/n: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an energy smoothie...would it kill me? Logan: *shrugs* only if you die Y/n (getting out the blender): you're so smart Logan Max (running into the room): y/N STOP!

Lance: I got Netflix like you asked! Y/n: OH that's amazing! I've been mooching off Max's and Arthur's accounts for a while. This will be nice! Lance: Wait, what do you mean accounts? Y/n: Their Netflix accounts? Lance: Y/n: Like their profiles? I wanted one of my own, they're like $12 Lance: Lance:....Oh....You meant the account on the service... Y/n: Yeah, what did you think I meant? Wait...What did you buy? Lance: Lance:....Netflix...

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12

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pettydollie · 5 months

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could you IMAGINE bakugou having a gf whos a teacher?? but not just any teacher, nono. a KINDERGARTEN TEACHER. lowkey when he sees u teaching a kid abt counting apples or something, he will think abt having children with you. just seeing you being so gentle nd sweet with little brats munchkins turns his brain into mush.

on one particular day, he went into your classroom wearing his hero costume for a little q/a type thing. everyone was so impressed just by looking at him, even if they didn't know who he was. they were all sat whispering to their friends at small desks as bakugou's large figure just strutted in LOL.

you give him a tiny little peck when he walked into the classroom, to which some kids let out "ooo"s and snickered. you clapped your hands together. "okay boys and girls, let's walk over to the magic carpet for circle time!" you led bakugou with you to the large rug where two chairs were set.

the kids were all sat in a circle, excitedly waiting to talk to the number two hero!! bakugou sat down somewhat awkwardly as for the first time in a while, he was a teeeensy bit nervous for whatever reason. "today we have a special guest joining us for circle time! does anyone know who he is?" you grinned as you saw many hands go up.

"yes, ryu?" you picked on an adorable little boy in the center. "that's mr. dynamite from the news!" he yelled.

"that's right, ryu! but let's use our inside voices, please." you smiled. "does anyone know what mr. dynamite does?" you questioned again. one little girl was squirming in her seat, hand held high. "go ahead, kanako." you nodded to the girl who sat up straighter upon being called on.

"he saves people, l/n-sensei!"

"damn right i do." bakugou smirked pridefully. you lightly nudged his shoulder. "no cursing." you whispered. he rolled his eyes but listened nonetheless. "okay, starting from this side of the rug," you pointed to the left. "you can ask anything you want to the hero, as long as you are kind. and if you don't have a question just say 'pass' and we'll go straight to the next person." you announced. all the children nodded in unison.

"start us off, please." you handed the 'talking mic' to the first kid. "mr. dynamite sir, where are your blasters?" he curiously turned his head to the side. "huh?-" bakugou looked down at his hands. "my gauntlets? left those guys at work. they're too powerful to be here." he answered.

the punks students continued to ask their questions and bakugou replied calmly like this was an everyday event. "you're big." a boy stated. bakugou quirked a brow. that's all this brat had to say? "i know." he replied nonchalantly. "why?" the kid blinked, keeping a straight face.

"uh, why?? i dunno, kid. jus' the way i am." he shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. the kid folded his arms and moved to sit on his knees. "it's my turn now.." a quiet girl next to him tapped on his shoulder, reaching out for the mic. the boy stuck out his tongue at her before turning away to look at bakugou again. "thas' not a real answer."

"kenji, that wasn't kind. you had your turn, now please give the mic to haru." you frowned. haru's eyes turned glossy and her lip began to quiver, but kenji still wasn't letting up. "thas' not fair, sensei!" kenji whined.

"hold it, kid." bakugou stepped in. kenji's attention turned to bakugou, an angry pout written all over his face. "ya ask me sum dumb question," he began. oh gosh, a dumb question? he's not wrong, but he can't say that to a 5 year old! "katsuki." you muttered, trying to get him to stop. but he kept going anyway.

"but i answered it, right? y'r not being a team player to y'r classmate, buddy." bakugou finished, waiting to see what would happen next. the room fell silent. kenji had listened, handed the microphone to haru. he was still upset though, everyone could see it.

"one minute, haru. kenji," you called out. the boy looked up with fat tears in his eyes. "is there something you want to say to your friend?" kenji wiped his eyes with the back of sleeve and mumbled "sorry." to haru. "is okay." haru accepted happily with a toothy grin.

bakugou leaned back in his chair, feeling satisfied with himself as the questions continued. huh, who knew right? you could get used to this.

when the period was over, bakugou waved goodbye to all the kids. however, he bent down in front of kenji and put his fist out. although the child was still somewhat annoyed, he couldn't hold in his grin as he fist bumped a pro hero. "let's all say 'thank you' to, mr. dynamite!" you stood up from your chair, folding your hands together.

"thank you, mr. dynamite!!"

bakugou kissed your cheek and walked to the door with you following behind. you opened the door and he adjusted his mask quickly. he ruffled your hair. "see ya at home, babe."

a/n: literally so rushed im so sorry i just had this thought and i had to get it out. will for sure be coming back to this later :D

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spirit-lanterns · 10 months

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IT'S THE ALCOHOL TALKING

synopsis: various hsr women when they're drunk.

featuring: serval, stelle, tingyun, fu xuan, asta, bronya

rating: sfw (anyone can interact)

warnings: fem reader, fluff, crack, mentions of alcohol and getting drunk (everyone is of drinking age). very ooc personalities for the girls as they are drunk. pet names, slight pet play (asta), feral tingyun, established relationships.

art credits: bloom into you

SERVAL

“And this so— (hic) is dedicated to my wonderful, beautiful, adorable, most bestest and kindest girlfriend ever—”

When Serval gets drunk, she sings. But the way she sings is less in a badass way and more in a “she took too many shots” kinda way, because your girlfriend was currently doing drunk karaoke at the bar with everyone cheering and shouting. Her body going through a whole workout plan as she was putting her heart and soul into this performance.

You knew you should stop her before she got hurt, but how could you when she was just so cute and screaming her love for you. “Yeahhhhh everyone scream for my girlfriend! She’s the best!” Serval would yell, accidentally causing the mic to screech but not caring because even in her less sober state, she still loved you unconditionally.

“Oh Aeons…” you laughed into your hand and blushed when the rockstar winked in your direction. Yelling the lyrics of some dumb love song while swaying back and forth with the mic. “You’re doing great, sweetie!”

Serval smiled broadly at your shout and raised her arms in the air, feeling like the luckiest woman in the world.

“Wooooo!”

Oh. Oh no…

And then Serval body slammed onto a table. A loud crash echoed throughout the bar as everyone stopped shouting while you ran over to check if she was okay.

“Serval? Serval!”

Your girlfriend swayed for a bit as she slowly looked up at you in a daze. Her body was still getting used to the crash and the alcohol, but even then, she looked up at you and gave you a lopsided grin.

“Oh…you’re pretty. But I have a girlfriend.” she murmured, giggling to herself while gently pushing your hand away.

“I am your girlfriend, silly.” You chuckle, gently lifting her up and brushing her hair back to make sure she wasn’t bruised. “Are you okay, baby?”

Drunk Serval paused, an even deeper blush growing on her face as she didn’t respond.

“…Oh.”

She seemed in awe at how she actually had a girlfriend, and you giggled before lifting her up to her feet. “Come on silly, let’s get you home. You drank too much.”

When you kissed her cheek, Serval blushed even more and looked at you with wide eyes. Seemingly falling in love with you all over again…

STELLE

“Baby…”

Stelle would cling to you needily and look up at you with big puppy dog-like eyes. Whimpering as she begged you to let her do the one thing she loved doing the most.

Dumpster diving.

“No Stelle, you just took a shower.” You hummed, tapping your girlfriend’s cheek and taking another sip of alcohol. “Besides, I let you dumpster dive earlier today. You emptied out three whole trash cans before we came out here.”

Stelle whined and looked over at the dumpster outside the bar. After having way too many sips of alcohol with you, Stelle began feeling the side effects as every dumpster and trash can she saw looked like a playground. That, and she started getting more and more clingy with you, wrapping her arms around your waist and nuzzling into your neck by the bar.

“Please…” she mumbled, practically smothering her body against you like a giant teddy bear. “I want…nnh…wanna jump in…”

Her speech was getting a little slurred and you sighed as you realized your precious Stelle was getting drunk, meaning you’d have to leave sooner or later anyways.

“…One. Dumpster.” You say with a sigh.

Stelle’s eyes lit up and she immediately started kissing your cheek. Usually Stelle would be too shy to do PDA with you in crowded areas, but she was just too drunk and too happy to care. “Thank you!” She mumbled against your cheek, giving it an affectionate little nibble before running off to dive headfirst into the trash.

You chuckled at the sight and made sure to keep watch so she wouldn’t hurt herself. Your girlfriend having a blast as she stumbles around in the dumpster pulling out various items she found interesting.

After a few minutes of dumpster diving, your girlfriend tumbled out of the bin with trash sticking to her hair. “Oof!” Despite that however, she excitedly ran up to you and hugged you. “Baby look, look. I found a new blender…!”

You tried to keep your laughter in as she held up a blender that was not only broken, but was missing its blades. You didn’t have the heart to tell her it was useless, so you just patted her head and praised her. “Good job, baby. You did so well.”

She smiled and closed her eyes, nuzzling you as the effects of alcohol started taking over again and making her clingy. “Can we go home now? I want to add this to my collection…”

Before you could even respond, Stelle ends up slumping against your arms and sleepily kissing your neck. Heat building up in your face as Stelle was never this affectionate with you in public…

“Pfft, okay.” You chuckle, patting your girlfriend on the head, “Let's go home.”

TINGYUN

“Off! Back off!”

Tingyun hissed at yet another stray cat while her tail was raised high in the air. The most unholiest of feral fox sounds emitting from your girlfriend as she screamed at any animal that even so much as dared look at you.

“Tingyun dear, I think that’s enough soju for now…” you gently pulled the glass away from her and watched as she glared holes into the poor dog passing by on the street. Her teeth poked out from between her lips like she was getting ready to attack, nails gripping the hardwood table before you calmed her down with a hug.

“Tingyun, I’m right here.” you hummed into her ear, planting a comforting kiss on her cheek. “I’m not in any danger.”

“Yes, because I am protecting you…!” Tingyun slurred, her tail swaying back and forth before standing upright at the sight of a bird. “Away! Shoo! Shoo!”

Tingyun was definitely one of the most unique types of drunks you’d ever have the pleasure of seeing, as she would get awfully protective of you whenever there were animals present. It was like the foxian side of her had taken over once alcohol entered her system, and while it was entertaining, you did worry for Tingyun’s reputation…

“Pfft, alright dear. Thank you for protecting me from the scary bird,” you cupped her face and pulled her towards you, giggling at the sight of her scrunched up and pouty face. “You’re so brave. I am just simply awestruck at what an amazing girlfriend you are.”

You kiss the top of her nose and Tingyun’s face starts going pink, her tail slowly wagging in praise as she stares lovingly at your eyes.

“I love you…” she purrs out, her drunk-dazed eyes going half lidded like a cat.

“I love you too.” You giggle, cupping her face as you lean in to kiss her fully this time. Closing your eyes and ready to claim her lips when—

HISSSSS

Not again!

You grabbed Tingyun’s face before she could get up and pulled her down towards you. “Oh no you don’t, we are going home.” You quickly kiss her on the lips and distract her long enough to drag her away from the bar. Your foxian girlfriend whining and trying her best to squirm out of your grasp but to no avail.

“Let me go! Baby, let me go!”

She nibbled on your arm as you dragged her away and you sighed, patting her fluffy ears while taking her drunk ass all the way home.

FU XUAN

“Yeah that’s right, she’s (hic) mine…”

Fu Xuan was currently sitting on your lap and glaring at everyone like a feisty kitty who wouldn’t let go of a toy. She had her brows furrowed and tensed in an angry way while she gripped your shoulders to show ownership, her body swaying in a way that indicated to you that your girlfriend was getting drunk.

“Oh, Fu Xuan…” you chuckled, feeling her forehead to see if she was getting sweaty. “Are you getting tipsy?”

“Of course not. I’m (hic) perfectly sober, my love.”

You raised a brow and tried to hide the smirk growing on your face. My love? Since when did Fu Xuan get so affectionate? It was almost like she was lying straight to your face…

“Are you?” You teased, holding her tightly by the waist. “You’re hiccuping, little bunny…”

“I just need more water!” She quickly spat out, before taking another shot of soju which she thought was water. “Nngh! Why is water so bitter?”

“That’s soju, love.” You chuckled, pulling the shot glass away from her hand. “I think you’ve had enough to drink, why don’t we go home?” You pat Fu Xuan’s head and giggle when she starts to pout. “I don’t want to move…” she mumbles, plopping her head into your boobs. “Darling feels good…”

Your heart speeds up when she says this and you can’t help but hold in a squeal. How cute, perhaps drunk Fu Xuan can stay for a little while longer—

No, you shouldn’t. As her girlfriend, the right thing to do is to take her home and take care of her. You sigh and gently hoist her up in your arms, Fu Xuan panicking for a moment as she wraps her legs around your waist.

“Wha— darling the floor is falling—”

“I’m just standing up.”

She immediately clings to your neck and holds on to you tightly, slowly closing her eyes as she feels herself getting nauseous. “Don’t drop me. You hear?”

“Yes darling, I hear.” You chuckle, keeping your arms firmly under her thighs while you begin carrying her out of the bar. “Try not to look up too much, we don’t want you getting dizzy and throwing up on my back.”

Fu Xuan gives you a hissy glare and just blushes before hugging you close. “I won’t throw up…I never throw up…”

She begins grumbling to herself and you smile at the sight. Patting the back of her head while the two of you head home together.

ASTA

“Awe Peppy you’re so cute! Who’s a good boy? Oh who’s my good boy?”

Asta cooed and drunkenly squished your cheeks together while calling you Peppy and patting your head. You, her girlfriend. Her loving and doting girlfriend who was very much human and very much not a dog.

“Asta—” you chuckled, “I’m not Peppy.”

“My Peppy is so big and strong…!” Asta grinned, rubbing your cheeks together while peppering your face in sweet, gentle kisses. “The sweetest and cutest canine ever oh yes you are…”

You rolled your eyes at how silly your girlfriend was being and just went along with it. Deciding to tease her a bit by playing along with her little charade.

“Woof.”

Asta squealed and kissed your face even more, taking another swig of her alcoholic beverage while scratching underneath your chin. “Ohhh if only your other mommy could see you now…” Asta sighed, unaware that her girlfriend was literally right there. “Hm, perhaps I should send her a video.”

Asta whipped out her phone and began recording you while still believing you were Peppy. “Okay Peppy! Let’s send mommy a little video to show her how cute you are being. Come on, say hi to mommy!”

“…Woof.”

You couldn’t help but smile when Asta got so excited, patting your head in praise while going “good boy…!” Into the camera. Oh how embarrassed she will be once she finds the video in her camera roll the next morning, you couldn’t wait.

After a few more minutes of playing the little dog shenanigans with your girlfriend, you finally decided that it was getting late and Asta definitely needed to head back to bed.

“Sigh, okay Asta. I think it’s time we head back home, hm?” You chuckle, finally breaking out of your Peppy act charade. “You’ve had quite a few drinks already…”

Asta tilted her head when she saw you getting up to leave, and her mind instantly went to Peppy once more.

“Oh? Does Peppy want to go home now?” Asta hums, smiling and taking your hand. “Don’t forget your leash!”

Wait, what?

And then out of nowhere she whips out a leash and clips the collar to your neck, surprising you as you had no idea that Asta carried around a leash at all times.

“Come on boy! Let’s go home to mommy!”

She gave the leash a little tug and you sighed with no choice but to follow her. Asta skipping happily beside you with you chuckling beside her in return.

BRONYA

“…”

You were getting worried for your girlfriend as she had been staring at the wall in silence for the past six or so minutes. No pressure, Bronya was usually quiet when invited to bars like this one, but she never was this quiet and it was starting to worry you a little.

“…Bronya?”

You poke her cheek.

“Bronya?”

She blinks and slowly turns to you, eyes wide like a cat who got into some catnip as she seemed to be lost in another world.

“There is a train that can travel through universes.”

Ah, so it’s one of those nights. The kind of nights where Bronya would get lost in the dark abyss of her mind and say the most random, deep things that would have her questioning her sanity by the time you pull her out of the bar.

“Mhm, the Astral Express is capable of doing that.” You chuckle, trying to downplay how deep her thoughts really were. “Uhm…baby?”

Bronya was still staring in silence as she was now looking at the ice cubes melting in her drink. She usually got like this whenever she was sleep deprived or blanking out, but today it was especially prominent as Bronya took one too many sips of her beverage whilst sitting at the bar with you.

“Darling, do you think other universes could come to Belobog and fix our Fragmentum problem?” Bronya said while spacing out, the gears in her mind rolling as she slowly took another sip of her drink. “Aeons, we should’ve told the Astral Express crew to bring back some people. Perhaps the people at the Herta Space Station could help us. Or— I believe they are people…”

Bronya paused again and her eyes got wide.

“Darling…do aliens exist? Are the people at the Herta Space Station actually people?”

She gasped and suddenly turned to face you.

“The Astral Express crew. Do they count as aliens too?!”

You quickly shut her up with a kiss before she could get too deep in her alien vs human conspiracies. Your girlfriend squeaking and blushing before finally calming down in your hold.

“Bronya, sweetie. It’s very late, and as cute as you are rambling about aliens and conspiracy theories, I think it’s time we head back home.” You slowly pulled the drink away from her and helped her stand up from her seat. “Come on, you can borrow my coat. It’s cold out.”

Bronya flushed when you wrapped your coat around her while the two of you began walking back home. The Supreme Guardian leaning against your shoulder affectionately as a comfortable silence falls between you.

“…Do penguins have knees?”

“Oh Aeons.”

#serval x reader #serval x you #stelle x reader #stelle x you #tingyun x reader #tingyun x you #fu xuan x reader #fu xuan x you #asta x reader #asta x you #bronya x reader #bronya x you #hsr x reader #star rail x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr women x reader #star rail women x reader

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onlyseokmins · 10 months

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the devil wears baby blue • h.j.s.

Pairing: joshua hong x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors PLS dni!), strangers to fucking lol Warnings: joshua hong himself 🚩🚩, swearing, alcohol, reader is a menace and tease too i'm ngl, grinding, groping, slight exhibition kink, degradation, name-calling, objectification, FINGERS (all of it fingering, riding, etc), mentions of knife/surgery, choking, wbk but major hints to big cock josh 💔, marking, licking, alluding to devil imagery uwu, roleplay sort of but not really, kind of public sex acts + a mirror, manhandling, lil slaps, dangerous fashion decisions + "fun" clothing shenanigans during sex ig????, mentions of car sex and oral sex (male rec.), dirty talk (joshua won't stfu), edging, lil bit of pain kink if you squint ❤️‍🩹, and tons of banter/insults, is there a thing like a wealth kink??? - as always lmk if i missed smth WC: 7k A/N: *taps mic* would love to thank @onlymingyus and @duhnova for proofing, hyping, and supporting me on this. also ofc a huge honorary shout out to @hwanghyunjinenthusiast for the constant cheering and screeching at me in and out of dms - hope you enjoy this hehe. idk if jackie will see this but her watch post(s) helped re-inspire me to attack this wip. and finally blowing kisses to the joshushushus in my inbox, i hope you'll like this! ps if anyone recognizes where the last dialogue is from, you receive a kiss on the forehead from me and get to spend one night with joshua!! 😏

↪ this is a loosely based prequel to idiot

Seungkwan's hand lays steady on your back, guiding you through the crowd much more efficiently than you could have on your own. He has a way of navigating through the waves of people with practiced ease whereas you would rather just be swept away. It's why you enjoy going to the club with him, especially one as crazy as tonight's.

You would think you were still on the dance floor with how many people are bustling around you, mingling and giggling just as much on the sidelines as they do moving to the music. Drinks in hand, they chat and flirt with one another so it takes nearly twice as long to make it to the bar than you think it really should.

"This better be worth it," you shout directly into your friend's ear despite how close you are to him. "For the amount of times my feet have been stepped on!"

There's a sharp pinch from his fingers that snuck to your side. "Told you not to wear those stupid shoes."

Though you can't exactly hear it, you can see how his pouty lips purse out in a huff. He's also grumbling under his breath and you're able to catch bits and pieces. Things like, "won't matter" and "swept off your feet anyways" and "don't blame me" make you roll your eyes.

"Acting like this is my social debut with the prince of wales."

"Someone's been watching too much Bridgerton. And with how often you fail to come —" he's interrupted by the loud thumping of the bass, "makes sense."

"You can't possibly compare me against your standards, Mister Social Butterfly. You know everyone… and you've probably screwed a lot of them as well."

Seungkwan can only guess a gist of what you actually say and is therefore mildly tempted to let you get lost in the sea of people like he knows you'd rather prefer. But he's finally made it all the way over to what seems like an impenetrable social circle, though the group readily parts to make room for the two of you to squeeze in. So, he'll have to bring you along for the adventure.

"Hey there!"

"Hello!"

"Fancy seeing you here."

"I know, right?"

Greetings are easily interchanged. Most of them are familiar faces — friends of your own or people you've gotten to know simply through Seungkwan's ever-growing collection of new instagram posts.

Jeonghan's got some poor new soul to flirt with again and Seokmin looks like he'd rather be at home watching cooking videos. Vernon is wearing headphones of all things while Seungcheol has a shit-eating grin on his handsome face. And you instinctively know Mingyu has to be up to no good because you don't see or hear him.

Not that you're actually paying that much attention to the same-old-same people, focus naturally drawn to the tall man standing next to Wonwoo. Light brown hair curls just beneath his ears, shaggy enough that the urge to run your fingers through and imagine what the tug of strands between them might feel like consumes you. It comes as a shock, considering that Jeonghan's had the same style before and you've never felt like this.

You drink in the baby blue shirt that compliments the mystery man's skin tone, top buttons left undone to showcase the delicate silver around his throat and framed by collar bones. The fabric's elegance belies the strength of the body it clothes, material straining tastefully in the tiniest bit over a broad chest and wide shoulders. Sleeves rolled up to accentuate the flex of his forearm down to the long, long fingers wrapped all the way around the glass of alcohol held between them.

"That's Joshua Hong," Seungkwan supplies helpfully though he can't hide how smug he sounds observing you and shares a knowing look with Vernon who snickers.

"Joshua Hong," you repeat and enjoy how easy his name sounds and feels coming off your tongue. "Is that so?"

"Yeah and to my knowledge, he's extremely single."

"Don't tell me that's how you introduce me to other people."

He feigns innocence. "Can't recall but even if I did, bet it's going to work in your favor. Don't look now but it seems like you've caught a big fish."

Of course, when someone tells you not to look, the first thing you'd logically do is look. Glad you weren't caught staring earlier now that the very same man you were drooling over has noticed your existence and is staring directly at you.

Brown irises drop down to scan your figure and the suggestiveness of it lights something deep within you. You're quick to nudge off Seungkwan's arm around your waist when Joshua's eyes linger a second longer on it than you'd expect, ignoring your friend's sassy mutter of "hook, line, and sinker."

"I… I really don't like that implication, 'Kwan."

"Sure you don't."

Joshua Hong's intent gaze is far from unsavory. Even if it was more perverse in nature, you think you'd feel drunk off the same amount of power it fills you with and you haven't had a single drop of alcohol yet. A swear word escapes under your breath at the dampness of your back — and elsewhere — before sending the admiring man a demure smile of acknowledgement and turning once more to Seungkwan.

"You were criticizing my shoes earlier?"

"'Cause you can barely walk in them!"

"Then let's put these bad boys to good use."

Your friend can only shake his head as you stride away. He'll keep an occasional eye on you from afar for the rest of the night but he has a hunch things will be… fine. He hopes. Wonwoo did say Joshua was a decent man, after all.

He'll have to be… if he's willing to put up with you, Seungkwan thinks to himself with a cringe as he watches.

Vernon hands over a much appreciated beer and he sidles up to the unbothered man's side, jutting his chin out in your direction and asking, "Are you ready for some entertainment?"

"Yo, always bro."

"Cheers to that."

Meanwhile, you've made it to the new company without stumbling once — something you're very proud of. You nod at Joshua. Nothing more than a soft flutter of eyelashes, alerting him that you're aware of his presence but indulging in nothing more. Instead, you choose to lean comfortably into his companion's space.

"Hi Woo, care to share?"

The bespectacled man wordlessly offers his nearly empty glass of wine, always easygoing and ever perceptive. Unlike his best friend who never fails to be endearing but can't take a hint to save his life. One of the many reasons why Mingyu has never succeeded as a wingman — unfathomably clumsy but still loveable in all aspects to steal everyone's heart involved.

You finish the rest of Wonwoo's drink off with a satisfied hiss at the taste but not without a snort. "I didn't mean that, silly."

He cracks a smile, returning the teasing with a fake, reproaching scold of your name. "Could've told me you wanted to steal my buddy and not drain all my alcohol!"

Joshua laughs — loud and clear above the din of noises surrounding you. It has an air of gracefulness to it and you're sure the club brightens in a way that's totally not from the strobe lights going crazy.

"So, this is Seungkwan's friend…"

You jab Wonwoo's side with a huff. "Hey, I'm much more than that!"

"If it's any consolation," Joshua cuts in with another laugh and a handshake, taking on a self introduction. "I'm just some guy named Joshua. Hope that doesn't disappoint."

"Just some guy, huh? One that wears a Royal Oak?"

He thrillingly doesn't let go of your hand, keeping a firm but gentle grasp when turning it with his to properly glance at the notorious status symbol wrapped around it. The steel casing glints just as fiercely as the sapphire glass over white gold hour-markers embedded on its face.

"Yep, still just some guy that's called Josh. Joshua Hong, to be exact. Scared you off yet?"

"I wear heels that have a one hundred percent chance of breaking my ankle to a place where there's a terrible combo of dancing and drinks. But you think I'd be scared by a pretty boy wearing thirty-some jewels around his wrist?"

He steals another appreciative look up and down your body. Not as fiery as the first one but still bold without shame, striking another bolt of heat that flashes through your veins and simmers in your lower abdomen.

"Taste. And bite. I'd expect nothing less from someone like you."

"Someone like me?" you scoff as he winks, taking a step back and extending your arm as far as it will go with the notion for you to follow.

"Dance with me?"

Wonwoo had quietly faded into the background and slipped away for another refill. Smart guy. There's no one to worry about leaving behind when you accept this unfamiliar man's invitation and let him whisk you in the direction of the dancefloor. But not before catching Seungkwan's mild and supportive yet watchful gaze before he raises his beer in a mock salute.

It's almost cute at how inept Joshua is maneuvering through the tumultuous flow and ebb of moving bodies compared to said good friend. The way his taller frame looks more like a poor cruise ship tossed helplessly in the waves of the ocean than the stationary lighthouse and its reassuring beacon you'd expect causes a chuckle.

"You're almost as bad at this as I am."

He shoots an apologetic smile at the same time someone once again jostles his shoulder, pushing him closer into you. "Nightclubs really aren't my scene."

You're not complaining about the aided proximity that lets you hear what he says without strain. Although you do try to match the beat as it changes to something more sensual yet still playful. Going along with the rhythm of the other dancers rather than against much smoother than Joshua's awkward attempt to mimic. He sticks behind you, failing to hide the blatant mesmerization at how you sway effortlessly to the beat.

"You're not bad at this at all."

You shrug. "I've been here often enough to blend in better than most. So tell me, what's a rich boy's usual scene then? Shanqin Bay's clubhouse?"

"Hah, you wanna come with me sometime and find out?"

"Only if you can promise a fun experience… oh," you throw a smirk at him over your shoulder, "and to cover all the costs, of course."

"A pretty thing like you would have anyone saying yes and wrapped around your little finger."

"Maybe, but only if they're worth my attention."

"Afraid to disappoint yet again when I spend most hours of the day in the operating room."

You turn abruptly to face him, grateful for the hand that shoots out to support your elbow despite his surprise at your dubious side-eye. "Are you a doctor?"

"Maybe."

"Director's son?"

"Cliché enough for you yet?"

"I recall someone who's wearing a Royal Oak saying I had good taste so I'm not going to complain. Though it would have been quite the story to hear you were the one under the knife," you take a step closer and slip a finger underneath his silver chain to tempt him closer, "to end up looking this good." When large hands hesitate to land on your hips, you raise an eyebrow. "Thought a surgeon would have a steadier grip."

"Oh." Brown eyes flicker with a carnal desire, focusing on your lips. "You expect me to be a rich, talented playboy and not be naturally handsome too?"

"Sorry, Doctor Hong but there has to be at least something wrong with you."

The polite smile he'd been wearing all night quirks up at the corners, changing into something more on edge. A little dangerous. Beckoning excitement. He spins you back around, hands solidly landing on your sides — this time without reserve — to prevent your lower bodies from touching and changes the subject back to when you approached Wonwoo and him.

"Do you always take drinks from guys?"

"Ah, hm. Just the good ones."

"Good alcohol?" His breath is hot against the ear he's speaking directly into. "Or… good boys?"

Biting your lower lip does nothing to hide the unfettered glee you're feeling. "Alcohol, of course." A breathy sigh and you take the leap. "Want a taste?"

There's no need to ask twice. It's like the right key turning its lock. The doctor's initial awkward movements are nowhere to be found as one hand smoothly leaves your hip, turning your chin toward him to meet you halfway with his lips ready to brush against yours.

At the last minute, he backs off and turns your chin to its original position of facing forward with a smirk you can't see. Who cares about a missed kiss when his other hand slides across your stomach? Urging you to press your ass backwards and grind against the very obvious bulge that his khakis do nothing to hide.

Its growing hardness and promising length cause you to automatically moan, arching your back with the feral need to feel more. Your head tilts to the side, hips swiveling and swaying not to the beat but the rise of his cock. The position willingly grants Joshua access to lick, suck, and bite at the exposed skin.

He hums along to the music with a melodic voice from what you can hear, though you find more enjoyment in the consistent vibrations against your neck. A naughty hand plays with the tucked-in hem of your blouse and an occasional finger teasingly slips under the waistline of your jeans.

You can now feel Joshua's smirk when in turn, your fingers tangle in the bottom hairs of his mullet. His lips curl up, moving to nibble behind your other ear and breathe in your scent. As delightfully predicted, there's a distinct pull by your rings when you tug them free from the strands that has him pausing. Eliciting a sharp hiss and equally as sharp — but appreciative — thrust against your backside.

In retaliation, the lax hand caressing your throat tightens around it ever so slightly while he growls in your ear, "You said there has to be something wrong with me, right?"

"Mhm, oh yeah. Totally."

"Wanna fuck around and find out, beautiful?"

Hook, line, and sinker was damn right, Boo Seungkwan. Of course, the devil would be wearing a shirt the same shade as the sky where heaven's clouds make their home.

And you eagerly take the forbidden fruit — his hand, once again — and teeter after him. The red flags are already starting to fly at full mast but into the dimly lit hallway you go, elated to find an empty and quiet corner right before the stairs leading down to the bathrooms.

Underneath the neon glow of the exit sign, Joshua pins you against the wall with your arms laying on his shoulders. If you thought the attacks from his mouth were rough on the dance floor, they turn ten times more animalistic now that he has something to support you with other than strong arms and big hands. A pair of soft lips and the warm wet tongue between them contrast with the digging in of his teeth that follow your necklace chain to its adorning pendant.

It hangs in the v-neck window of your blouse and he lets out a tiny grunt of displeasure at the breasts being concealed away by the fabric and its many buttons. That doesn't stop him from tugging the bottom of the shirt free like a petulant child, nothing preventing his fingers now free to tickle and feel up the bare skin beneath.

This man is good at distraction. You don't think much of the light grazing beneath your tits, only a fleeting and casual touch. It feels so good when he cups under them like an additional support for the bra you're wearing and squeezes, causing you to keen and push yourself further into him. Then quick as lightning, one hand sneaks around the back to unhook the bra's clasp and the other deftly unbuttons your jeans.

"Joshua!" you squeak in protest, stepping back and pressing flat against the wall. You're quick to rush and slap a hand against your chest to keep the beloved strapless bra that's served you well from falling to the ground. "Is your red flag undressing someone in public?"

"Only if you insist 'cause surely I would never decline such a request being the gentleman that I am." The doctor makes no further move despite the way he licks his lips and teases, only chuckling at the menacing way you squint. "Just know my full intentions are to be touching all over and especially under whatever layers you're wearing very shortly."

There's no use hiding the whine that escapes when he places a hand on the wall next to you and leans in with a smirk.

"However, sweetheart… "

You catch his line of sight dart off to the left and your heart plummets, the fear of being left high and dry (wet) setting in. "Josh — "

"You'll have to forgive this rich boy's schemes. You see, I've always been very spoiled and just have to take what I want right away. And you're much too irresistible…"

He speaks casually. Like your jeans weren't suddenly unzippered and he isn't currently running a tantalizing finger on the fabric below the waistband of your panties, causing them to soaken further down. Way more than they already had and almost where you need him but also not even close in the slightest.

"Though as a rich boy," he continues, "I'm more than familiar with providing a small courtesy here and there. Would this club's filthy bathroom offer enough privacy for you, gorgeous?"

"… Only if you make sure I'm presentable enough to get down there… and back up here after, for when I have to leave with my friends."

Joshua's eyes widen before he's throwing his head back and laughing, bright and cheery like he's not going to rearrange your guts. "So you don't expect to go home with me? Maybe I won't be such a walking red flag to you."

"Doubtful. Now fix me up, Doctor."

"With pleasure."

It's not like there are as many people milling about as in the main area. Still, it's good to be conscientious. The same adept hands re-fasten your top undergarment efficiently. When he ducks his head to kindly fix your pants — which is sort of hot — you take the opportunity to whisper in his ear for shit-and-giggles to gauge his reaction.

"You know there's a front clasp too."

He glances up from where he's eye-level with your covered breasts, eyes darkening. Bingo.

"What a little whore we have here, hm?"

The nonchalant, degrading question and burning desire in his gaze makes your knees weaken, arousal skyrocketing. Enough that you almost throw all caution to the wind for him to fuck you. Right here, right now. But then he's pulling away, offering a palm you can't seem to refrain from taking a hold of. And ever the true picture of being a gentleman — helps you descend down the dark stairwell.

Your killer heels really do nothing for you physically (besides the threat of rolling an ankle) because it doesn't matter how tall or short you end up with them on. It's the confidence and ego that are heightened exponentially, which is all that matters.

That's why you follow Joshua Hong into the sketchy bathroom, let him lock the door, and bat your eyelashes with a coy smile. Leaning against the sink and fussing with your blouse as he approaches like a predator eyeing up its prey. Greedily drinking in the bare skin revealed by each button that's undone until only one is still fastened — right across your tits — that the man can unclasp himself if he so chooses.

Barely anything stopped him before anyways.

And that's what also fuels you to put your arms around his neck, pressing your bodies close together. Even closer by hooking your right leg across his hip, the point of your heel digging intentionally into the back of his other thigh. It's hot and hard — the dick bulge that keeps growing pressed tightly into the snug warmth of your core — and Joshua lets you grind down and dampen his khakis for a few moments longer than expected.

"Desperate, aren't you? Didn't wanna fuck in public 'cause you're freakier behind closed doors?"

"Just a little." You fight back the urge to whimper or admit anything to him. Like you aren't humping his length that only swells more and feels achingly thicker the harder you rut against it, eyelids fluttering the few times it's able to deliciously spread your pussy lips just the slightest through your clothes. "I'm so wet — "

"The more of a mess you leave on my pants, the longer I'll have to edge you while waiting for them to dry." Joshua grins cockily at you trying to force your hips to stop themselves only to struggle pathetically in vain. "Think you'd like that. Haven't even gotten to fuck this hot little cunt yet and I'm already certain I wouldn't mind being buried in there for hours. But don't know if your friends will stick around for that long…"

"J-Josh, ah — Shua… mhm!"

"So I think you'd better behave if you know what's good for you," he stills your hips hard, "fuckin' slut."

You mewl at the hard, rude thrust that bumps your clit as if he was actually fucking you. Like goo, you let him manhandle you around so you're bent over and facing the smudged mirror, hands gripping tightly to each side of the sink basin. Aided by the reflections, you witness how he shamelessly ogles the tempting ass that's been rubbing all over him all night. And of course that means you have to perk up and wiggle your hips, giving him quite a show.

The small distance between you clears the lust cloud and you throw a smoldering glance over your shoulder. "If you fuck me with my heels on, I'll give you a chance with them off."

Joshua swats your ass — not very hard but you release a yelp of surprise. "Wasn't aware that you were running the show, sweetheart."

"It's my backside you're looking at."

"Knew you were mouthy the minute I saw you. You're aware of how kind I am, so let me give you a choice." He's anything but kind as he sighs and leans his weight over top of you. Despite the bracing strength of his arms, you feel suffocated by just being caged in between them and the overpowering scent of his cologne. "I shut you up with either my fingers in your mouth or around your throat."

Oh… decisions, decisions! Long fingers that would surely feel best deep inside your pussy but that wasn't one of the options. You purse your lips in thought and arch up, balancing the heavy cock supported by your ass and unconsciously pouting. Joshua has the audacity to look at the time while brushing back his hair and clicks his tongue.

"Wow, I'm letting you choose between sucking on my fingers like a slut or being choked like a whore and you still can't decide? What a high maintenance toy."

The urge to scoff is extremely strong. "Sucking it is then, Doctor Hong," you say sweetly and then add with a sneer, "like the perfect slut that I truly am."

"When your friends all said you were nothing but a gentle soul, I knew they were duped. Only one was partially truthful in saying you could be sassy which doesn't even come close. Little do they know there's a bratty cockwhore with quite a bite underneath all that charm."

"Haven't fucked any of them, that's why. No plans to either."

"Yeah, what was it you like — oh right, good boys?" He laughs — low, mean, and degrading. "Then what am I, sweetheart?"

"A doctor who's full of himself and needs taken down a few, ha, pegs."

"Ah, there it is." Joshua undoes the final button, slipping a curious finger beneath the bra's front hook pulling your tits together. You shiver when it snaps against your skin after he retracts, pointer finger tracing a lazy line up your throat to its final destination. "The attitude."

You willingly part your lips, lolling your tongue out mischievously to match the roll of your eyes. "Someone gets off on it."

"Is that so?" He smears the lipgloss on your lower lip by pulling it down before releasing it. "Do you think this is all a coincidence, darling?" Meeting the hardened gaze in the mirror, you shake your head. "The minute I saw such a sparkling gem on Wonwoo's story, I just had to have it for myself."

It's not hard to guess what he's referring to. A couple weeks ago, you wore enough scraps of fabric to just cover your nipples and the areas between your legs. Drinking far too much and hanging off of the WonGyu duo's broad frames while the whole gang partied it up together at Vernon's. You had even asked them to send you the videos and pictures after because damn, you did look hot as fuck.

Who knew it would be bait for an entitled pretty boy?

"At least you waited to find me when I wasn't drunk."

"Much more fun to break someone sober."

"Glad to know consensual exists in your vocabulary."

"How about it — will you let me destroy this little pussy of yours and ruin it to keep you crawling back to me for more?"

"Sure, if you ever stop talking and actually do something — "

Joshua's quick to shut you up, almost cracking your jaw with the harsh thumb that's jammed in the corner of your mouth to prop it open. The following two fingers are thrust cruelly inside as a replacement so it can move to keep your chin steady. They're able to reach so far when pinning down your tongue, ending up wedged near the back of your throat so you're already gagging around them.

"Most sluts behave the second I drop the nice guy act. But boy oh boy, it only makes you act up more, eh?"

He finally does away with your bra to allow those gorgeous tits to spill out and casually rips the garment from your body like it's personally offended him. Maybe it has. Shoving it away into his back pocket and then urgently tugging your jeans down. The binding position you're left in helps keep your shaky legs in place while you cling to the sink like it's a lifeline. Upper body supported only by the cruel hold he has on your face until he yanks it back so you're flush against him instead, the cool baby-blue silk of his shirt set ablaze by your shared body heat.

"Next time, wear something that has easier access. Or better yet… maybe nothing at all or I'll be forced to rip it off." A piercing set of eyes attempt to glare into yours that roll back delightfully despite what's likely some snark ends up sounding all jumbled. "Oh yes, there will be a next time, sweetheart. I have to train this cunt to yearn for my cock — and you don't think you'll get it that easily, right?"

Joshua chuckles darkly knowing you can't reply. But liking to be full of surprises, you relax your upper jaw while his fingers trail across your pelvis and close your lips around the ones in your mouth. Suckling and swirling once the tension in them relaxes despite the naughty thought of biting. That doesn't eliminate the occasional graze of your teeth as a threat, responding to his words in your own way.

"Just look at yourself, slobbering all over… bet you suck cock like a champ. And prolly like it real messy. How well-trained you'd look trying to balance on these pointed heels while I fuck that bratty mouth."

You moan at the visual he's painted in your head.

"That's right, darling." There's a mean pinch to your clit followed by the man's groan at the ruined fabric squelching between his fingertips and how the covered little nub was already begging for friction. "Now tell me how long your cunt's been warming up and soaking these drenched panties?"

"Since the beginning…" you admit once he's freed your sore mouth and chooses to bully your breasts next. "When you looked at me."

He snickers, pushing your underwear to the side and petting at the bare slippery folds. Just able to barely see a small glimpse of where his actions play with your lower body in the mirror. At least your expressions make up for what he misses seeing.

"Aw, this soft pussy started drooling the minute I laid eyes on you? While I was imagining all the things I could do to these tits," the hand on one of them palms at the rounded flesh hard. "This ass," his pelvis grinds in a slow circle against it. "Mhm, and of course, this hidden gem."

At that, a thumb brutally rubs at your clit while plunging a finger inside the warm, wet walls that eagerly pulse around it. You weren't wrong about how good the digit would feel inside, the length and stretch of its bony knuckle feeling good enough to substitute as a mini-dick when Joshua starts a slow and methodical pace with it.

"Thought about having you spread out in the backseat of my Bugatti La Voiture Noire, you'd look like a vision laying across its leather seats. And the best thing? No one can see inside so you'll get your much desired privacy while being right out in the open."

Then he's adding another finger, longer than the first. And finally one more with an additional push in and out of the others. Clearly his experience on how to work a pussy is more than helpful. Alternating between stuffing your hole full of all three or changing up the pace and number each turn.

And of course, your chest is attended to as well. Both nipples tugged in iterations to match the rhythm of each finger spearing into your cunt, the pendant of your necklace bouncing in time. Without fail, he hits the bundle of nerves with a deadly precision that has you going slack against him.

"Maybe we should do that 'cause," he mumbles in your ear, "this filthy hole is awfully good at convincing me to spoil its owner like no one else. Let's see if it can tell me how much it'll want me to fill it up one day."

Your ears ring with the devastating screams of white noise at the sudden stop. The moans you were letting out trail off into a dissatisfied growl. His hand falls away from your upper body while the one in between your legs merely sits nice and snug, still inside but not moving. Far too relaxed, limp even.

"Joshua!"

"C'mon, weren't you listening? Convince me."

"Fuck you," is what you spit out, glaring at the challenging and impossibly smug reflection of the menace behind you.

"You didn't say fuck off, so… I'm waiting."

Another check at his watch like he's bored infuriates you enough to move your hips. Whining at how his fingers fail to stiffen and only follow your pitiful motions back and forth. Out of protest, you reach behind and take a harsh hold of the hard length you're able to grab.

"Watch it, darling!" Joshua flinches and the way his cock twitches dulls the venomous words that come next. "Or I'll leave you here all needy and by yourself, waiting for some other pathetic dick to hop onto in order to satiate just a little bit of this wet and slutty pussy's behaviors."

Well, that idea doesn't appeal to you whatsoever so you lean on the sink with a huff to do what needs done. It's a struggle to stay balanced on your heels while grabbing at his wrist but a small part of you knows he won't let you fall, a bicep supporting under your breasts. Revenge comes sweetly by digging your nails into the tense muscle of his forearm and leaving scratch marks that have him hissing.

And now you know for sure — despite the doctor's incredibly huge ego and big talk, Joshua Hong's no better than a painslut.

"Hah," you breathe out and start to slowly rock your hips. "Disrespectfully, go to hell."

Ignoring the abrasive insult — because he's a demon anyways — Joshua focuses on the wet suctioning sound growing louder the faster you move. The feeling of your tits and necklace hitting his arm to the beat of your hip bounces and enjoying the view of how his fingers disappear beyond the jiggle of your asscheeks. Up into the tight heat of velvety walls as you force his hand to behave and serve your needs like one of your dildos, though they've never been this uncooperative.

"That's it. Yeah, there we go… just like that. Go ahead and make yourself cum riding my fingers, beautiful. Uh-huh, now who's using me like a little whore to get off?"

You're already losing yourself. Waiting for that rising wave to crest because despite his annoying mouth, Joshua's fingers are more than skilled enough to hurl you into a delightful climax. As long as nothing interrupts it.

"Answer me — or I'll make you choke yourself."

"Mhm…"

He likes seeing how your face contorts, moans getting louder. It's too addicting which is why he growls out, "Do it."

It's a feat to let go of the sink but the reward is to move his arm around your bra-line to your throat, making his hand envelope it. The visual in the mirror is depraved — limbs all wrapped and tangled with each other — and your half-closed eyes taunt the searing gaze in the mirror, repeating his words right back.

"Why not do it yourself, Doctor?"

"Are you some sort of succubus or what?" He spits out the question like it's the germs on the toilet seat next to you. Freeing himself momentarily from the grip of your hand and your cunt, the man's at least nice enough to assuage the pissed off whine with a consoling lick up your neck and tugs impatiently at your pants. "Take these off."

"Go fuck yourself," you mutter darkly with half the mind to walk out of there. But you do as he says, quickly shimmying them off while your clit buzzes and twitches angrily at the neglect of stimulation again.

Joshua's eyes don't look away, his hands steadying your hips and your pussy aching when you hear how he slowly slurps on his fingers to clean them. Once you step back into your heels, he throws the jeans over his shoulder.

"Careful with the phone," you threaten.

Joshua snorts and bends over to secure a strap for you — sucking harshly on the skin of your thigh as a "you're welcome" but pulling away before your hands can tangle in his hair and keep him down there.

"Wrong thing to say to someone who likes broken and expensive things. Shouldn't you be warning me not to break something else?" Suddenly, your other shoe dangles precariously off your foot when he uses a strong hand to lift and support your leg onto the sink's surface. "Like this poor pussy?"

The straining burn in your muscles and the added chill of the porcelain is all alleviated by harsh rubbing at the tender skin of your entrance. Middle and pointer finger eagerly prying sloppy pussy lips apart once again.

"Ah, but I might enjoy that."

A clear glob of arousal drips from your hole fluttering and clenching around nothing. Joshua leers hungrily past your shoulder at the mirror's erotic display of your exposed cunt and the wetness shining under the buzz of the bathroom's fluorescent lights.

"Dirty and yet it's such a pretty little jewel. Sparkling and glistening so, so lovely that I can't wait to watch it shatter while playing with it."

Finally, all three fingers from before work in tandem to scissor repeatedly inside of your tight warmth without forgiveness. This time, the devil has nothing but good intentions to send you over the peak of pleasure. His eyes can't stop feasting on the raunchy way your greedy hole gobbles up his fingers. The loud squelches accompanying his motions echo around the small enclosed space, mixing with the warm breath hitting the side of his cheek from your gasping moans.

Joshua thinks it's mighty cute how puffy your outer pussy lips grow and struggle to spread around the thick and long digits shoved inside plus the onslaught of his thumb bullying your clit. The angle shows the slightest bulge of them relentlessly stroking the bundle of nerves that has your leg twitching from the sheer pleasure.

He focuses on bringing you there, all on what you're feeling rather than his own pleasure because you have the most convincing cunt ever that deserves to be ravaged by a large, girthy cock. A shame it has to wait because he cannot give in so easily. But you're definitely a piece of work. Joshua likes that.

"Gonna keep making a mess on my fingers, darling? Leave 'em all sweet and wet enough for me to wrap around my dick later and pretend it's your pussy instead."

You'll be the death of him when your head rolls into the crease of his neck, drool dampening the skin as you mouth senselessly at the vein protruding beneath. There's a sharp sting — the certain kind he hasn't felt in a very long time. A telltale warning of a hickey, the beautiful colors of red and purple already rushing to the surface and decorated by little nips of your teeth after you soothe the pain with your tongue.

No one marks up Joshua Hong. Sure, he's had lipstick stains before but those can easily be swiped off with a handkerchief and washed away in the shower. He can't help but smirk though, knowing when he eventually wipes your sticky lipgloss off, something of you will remain for a bit.

However you can't go without a little punishment. If you can even call it that when he returns to wrapping a hand around your throat. Anyone else who dared to leave a mark would be walked away from. But you — you simply lose enough oxygen causing your head to spin more pleasantly than it already is.

And you claw at his forearm, scratching it up ten times more to serve as a further reminder for Joshua to look at. You're by no means urging him to stop but to earnestly keep going while simultaneously searching for something — anything — to anchor you down as you float into an almost unconscious state of pure ecstasy.

It's by far the strongest, most intense orgasm you'd ever experienced. Becoming nothing but a bag of bones in his arms as your walls pulsate around his fingers and the fruitful expenditure of your release drips down his wrist.

He stays in that position, unable to move anyways with the vice-like grip of your spasming cunt cramping his fingers. Instead, drawing out the pleasure as much as possible by squeezing and releasing the pressure on your throat over and over again. The true picture of debauchery — heaven and sin mixed in one — and he kind of wishes for a third arm to take a photo for a keepsake.

Everything in your body aches deliciously. You feel both refreshed and exhausted when you finally come to and even then Joshua supports your weak body as you try to regain control over your wits and whereabouts.

"Pants," you croak out and wave him off when he tries to gentlemanly assist. Which he still kind of has to when you almost topple face-first on legs that feel like jelly. "Bra."

Joshua's a little less enthusiastic to hand that over, bitter sarcasm lacing his words. "Wow, won't even grant me a souvenir?"

"Boo-hoo," you gripe back and pretend not to notice the eyes glued to the way your tits bounce when adjusting the garment around them. Turning to look in the mirror, you work on dulling the "just got fingered in the bathroom" appearance. "It's not like you need one and it seems even less likely you'll keep anything from a stranger, especially lingerie."

"Hm, I like how well you read me."

"Of course you do, fuels that large privileged ego. Don't get used to it. But, want me to do something about that one though?"

He coughs at the rather suggestive insult, shifting his pants and shirt that does absolutely nothing to hide the messy boner you're referencing. "Guess I did a great job if you're begging for it already."

"Oh, for goodness sake I'm being courteous."

"Cute."

Joshua admits it almost like he's startled by the words that escape his mouth. Further surprising both of you with a clumsy, sloppy kiss to the cheek when he leans over to fasten the top button of your blouse. As if embarrassed, he's already halfway out the door when he remembers to mention, "I'll be thinking of you darling, look forward to your call!"

You're left staring at the saliva spot reflected on your cheek in shock. And then, you wipe it off with the rest of the accumulated sweat to make yourself a bit more presentable and then head back to the club as naturally as possible.

Dr. Hong is seemingly nowhere in sight as expected. You figure it would be hard to return with a raging boner despite the low lighting and he probably left through the back exit to likely jerk off in his ridiculously expensive car. The visual of white ropes of cum streaming past the steel band of the Royal Oak around his wrist haunts your mind, making your aching core buzz to life again and your sticky panties even grosser.

Out of pure spite, you hope he stains his shirt too.

Luckily, Seungkwan is still at the bar when you wobble over in search of him. He shouts your name in mock shock, assessing your appearance with pursed lips and eyeballing your figure dubiously.

"You look like hell."

"Yeah?" you laugh it off as nonchalantly as possible, unaware of the phone in your back pocket lighting up with a returned text message from a newly saved number and a scandalous picture attached. "I just got back."

onlyseokmins: July 2023 ©

#ez.creates #svthub #joshua hong smut #joshua smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #kpop smut #smut #hong joshua smut #hong jisoo smut #if this flops so does the hong schlong #i fist fought this joshua in the parking lot and WON #svt.smut

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mrswolffs-blog · 4 months

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Seeing his ex-wife again was the last thing he expected today. Lewis had been busy the whole week going back and forth, getting work done as usual, when Toto called him to be introduced to someone.

Upon arrival, at first the female’s back was turned to his face so he didn’t really see her face. Sniffing the air, he realised that he knew the scent and couldn’t help but take a couple of steps back, not believing that it was her. It wasn’t until Toto tapped her on the shoulder and she spun around did their eyes meet and immediately she looked down at her shoe still in hurt and feeling inferior to the champion before her.

“Lewis, this is your new physiotherapist. Her name is Y/n and she transferred from Ferrari as she was working with Carlos.” Toto explained yet stood quietly as he waited for the ex-partners to interact. “Hi” Y/n said lowly as she shyly waved. Lewis smiled at her weakly as he understood that she never changed even after everything he had put her through.

“Well, the both of you will be walking around today as he does interviews, so I’ll leave you both to it.” Toto said walking away briskly. “Why did you transfer teams?” Lewis asked. “I didn’t really have a choice, they found a replacement so I would’ve basically been left without a job. I thought that they’d give me George but put me here” she explained as they walked.

Entering her office, she went over everything that was supposed to be done before the media day started and they came to an understanding within what each person was supposed to do. Leaving n’s heading off to the media pen, joined by his press agent. They went from one mic to another, Lewis answering the questions yet seemed unfocused every now and then as he looked off to the side to make sure that Y/n wasn’t too far away.

Truth be told, Lewis never meant to hurt Y/n the way he did. It was a misunderstanding that spiralled. What happened was that while he was away for the last part of the F1 season, Y/n was at home and she had went out with friends; got drunk and was sexually harassed.

At the time, Y/n had no idea that it was a crime and so she thought that he she had cheated on him. Crying out her eyes that same night, she called Lewis and apologised constantly as she explained that she “cheated” on him. In shock n’s disbelief, Lewis cursed at her over the phone before hanging up and blocking her.

Through the rest of the week, Y/n woke up everyday to tabloids of pictures and news of Lewis being caught with different women out and about. Crying her heart out, Y/n felt like she deserved it and so she wasn’t mad at him.

When Lewis returned home for the winter break, he tortured her with harsh words, throwing things to scare her and even went as far as bringing bimbos into the house that they share. At the time, when she found out that she was three months pregnant, Lewis cursed at her to say that he wasn’t sure it was his so she should go elsewhere to find the father of her bastard.

Due to all the stress, Y/n ended up going through a miscarriage. During that time, Lewis sat and watched as she rolled about the floor in pain, begging him to help her get to the hospital yet he refused; Miles being the saviour, anonymously stopping by was appalled by his best friend’s behaviour as he took the bleeding woman to the hospital.

While recovering, Lewis served the suffering woman with divorced papers and disappeared from her life after they were signed. It wasn’t until a year later when he bumped into one of her friends who was present that night, that the situation was explained- immediately the dread of his actions dawning in him. He reflected on how he never allowed her to explain herself and all the horrible things he did instead of comforting her.

Being taken out of his trance, the journalist asked “If you were to get married right now, do you have anyone in mind? If so what would you say about them?” She asked gloomily. Smiling softly he answered as he stared across at the woman chatting softly with his boss. “Yeah, I do. She’s an amazing woman who had always been there for me through a lot of hard and good times. I never treated her right at the ending, but hopefully she would be willing to give me a second chance to make things right.” By now the media and fans were going crazy trying to figure out who the mystery lady was.

Toto on the other hand knew that Y/n had heard what he said judging by the tears in her eyes threatening to fall and so he quickly swept her behind to shield her from the cameras as she soaked the back of his white shirt in tears. He was the only one on the team who knew that Lewis took things too far with how badly he had treated the now 26 years old woman who wanted so bad to scream out her pain.

Quickly excusing himself from the conversation with Guenther, he took her by the arm and led her to his office then closed the door for privacy. Immediately the door had shut, Y/n let out an ear piercing scream of a cry that shook the Mercedes building, everyone pausing on the outside who heard through the mic still attached to Toto’s shirt, as she started crying her heart out screaming into Toto’s chest “HE BROKE ME” continuously. Y/n’s head on Toto’s chested, he held her tightly rocking from side to side and she finally calmed down- falling asleep from exhaustion.

Lewis returned to the garage a couple of hours later with a knowing mind that the scream he heard was definitely from the woman he had demolished as he made a beeline for his boss’ office, just in time as Toto was exiting the room. “I just gave her something to eat, be gentle Lewis. I got her transferred here for a reason” Toto patted him on the shoulder before walking away.

Taking a deep breath to keep his emotions in control, he opened the door and slowly entered careful not to scare her. Taking a seat a few feet away from her, he took a minute to rationalise his thoughts before speaking. “I don’t know where to begin, but I just want to say that I’m deeply sorry. I should have allowed you to explain what happened before I went off doing whatever to hurt you. I was so inconsiderate due to the hurt I was feeling to the point that I denied my own child; May God above bless our would’ve been beautiful baby that is now in heaven… I pushed unnecessary anger towards you and it caused a lot of damage that I’m hoping that with time, you’ll reopen your heart piece by piece… and allow me to correct myself. We can date if you want to take it slow… or we could just get remarried and go to a marriage counsellor. We could try to conceive again as I really want a child of own.” Lewis said sadly as tears ran like a river down his trembling face.

“I’m very sorry. I hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I should have been rationale but instead I let my anger from work take over and I caused so much harm.” He cried as she gave him a side hug. “I understand. I was naive and didn’t know what happened to me. We both should have been careful of what was said” Y/n spoke shakily.

The rest of the day at the paddock was spent speaking over how they were going about their rekindling marriage.

A YEARS LATER

Lewis smiled brightly with tears in his eyes as he looked down at the pretty bundle of joy in his arms. Lewis and Y/n had been through counselling after getting remarried-once again in secret, as they have just welcome a beautiful baby boy. Lewis shed tears not only of joy but also of rapid regret for his actions towards his first child that didn’t make it into the world.

Y/n smiled with exhaustion as she noticed his reaction. “Lew be gentle with yourself, it wasn’t your fault. We just have to focus on the now and not then or what could have been” she coaxed him softly as they payed to lay ether, a united and happy family at last.

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x oc #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton fanfic

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mochiwrites · 6 months

Text

title: an act of kindness

co-author: @idioddyssey

warning(s): blood and injury

chapter(s): 1/1

relationship: scar/grian

summary:

With those threats made, the stranger goes slack in his hold. His face is still pressed into the cobbled brick wall of the alley, the two of them hidden by the shadow of night. Not an ounce of light hits them from the streetlamps or moon. Rain continues to pour down around them, slamming into the pavement with each drop of contact.

“What’ll it be, my moonlight attacker?” Scar questions. “Will your blood be joining mine?”

“You’re the mayor, right?” the man asks instead, red eyes glancing at him. “Are you sure you really wanna be taking out one of your own citizens on the street like this? Anyone could walk by and see. Not very smart if you ask me.” He shrugs in Scar’s hold.

read on ao3 here!

reblogs do more than likes!

taps mic. is this thing on? any crime au enjoyers hearing this? beCAUSE WE’RE BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER BABY!!!! CRIME AU RETURNS >:D

and oh man. oh man!!!!!!!!!!! I’m excited. there’s a lot in store, a lot of plans. this has been the HARDEST secret to keep oh my GOD. but welcome back crime au! I hope you’re all excited >:3

#good crimes au #mochi writes #scarian #hermitshipping #trafficshipping #WE’RE SO BACK!!!!!!!

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p8rasite · 11 months

Text

FINE. › SUNG HANBIN ݃ 0612

synopsis.. where hanbin says it too often, he starts to believe he is.. until he isn’t.

muses.. roommate! hanbin x gn! reader

pantone.. angst & comfort ft. and they were roommates

cw + tap the mic.. self-doubt, reader kinda dislikes hanbin & mention of drinks + first zb1 writing let’s gaur! this was a mix of request & word vomit so i hope this is good enough 🥺 also new layout : @/stealanity & @/chiyuv

“no one’s here, come again in four to seven business weeks.”

you bite the inside of your cheek. as clear as it is that hanbin doesn’t want to entertain anyone at the moment, you refuse to let him be. not when he’s isolating himself within those four walls. not when you can just tug that handle and let yourself in.

so you do.

the abrupt bang of the door against the wall was slightly.. over the top, but at least it got his attention. well, more like his frown, but you can be bothered about the details some other time.

“what are you doing in here?” he mumbles, voice lacking its usual coat of vibrancy. this time, it’s soft and fragile, just like its owner.

you shrug your shoulders. “the kitchen told me you haven’t visited it in a few days so i’m checking in on you on their behalf.”

he chuckles, but even that sounds so hollow. another sign that he isn’t your roommate, but a shell of him. and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re even more a tad bit worried.

“may i?” you gesture to the space next to him, shortly receiving a nod. sitting on the floor—legs stretched out and back slouched against the wall—isn’t ideal, especially not when there’s a queen sized bed just a few steps away. although, given why you’re here in the first place, you suppose you could refrain from complaining this time.

(singular—you’re already stressing that before your friends can make assumptions.)

the two of you let silence wrap around you like a blanket, one neither of you seem eager to remove. you excuse your awkwardness by claiming you want to take in your new surroundings before moving further. to which, in fairness, makes sense because this is your first time in his room.

weird, isn’t it? living in a place where you’re familiar with everything but your roommate and his space. there were times where he left his door ajar enough for you to catch glimpses inside, but nothing could have prepared you to see it in its entirety.

so tidy, so cozy, so.. hanbin.

the young man in question fidgets with his sweater’s sleeve, a loose thread in particular. a translucent pane of absentmindedness hovers over his cocoa-tinted irises as he twists the material between his lithe fingers.

“i don’t know what’s missing,” hanbin gauges your reaction (seemingly blank, actually surprised) before continuing. “i gave everything i had to them, constantly tried to do and be my best self to make up for the things i lack, yet they still left.”

you nervously rub your palms upon your thighs, unsure where to pick up after such a heavy confession. there’s also that guilt that chews on your soul as you come to realize that this little mister perfect persona of his isn’t just for attracting people.

it’s supposed to convince those he loves to stay.

with this newfound understanding, you finally speak up, “them leaving isn’t on you.”

his brows furrow, lips slightly parting to reject your words but you lift your hand to cover his mouth. probably not the best idea, ‘specially not when he can just make muffled sounds through the makeshift gag, but it’ll have to do. all you need is for him to listen to you, no interruptions allowed.

“you gave almost all of yourself to them, which isn’t wrong—almost every person who’s been in love has done that. but that isn’t enough to make the relationship work because there’s two of you. now, either it’s a responsibility that they can’t or don’t want to face, which is why they broke up with you.

whichever it is, the fault still lies with them. and that, binnie, is why you shouldn’t be beating yourself up on this. yes, it’s okay to grieve what has been lost. but at the end of the day, you should acknowledge and accept that it isn’t your fault.”

you’re completely winded by the end of your speech, you don’t realize your hand had pulled away halfway through it. but then you notice the upward curve of his lips, and your eyes instinctively narrow at the suspicious sight.

“did i say something funny?”

he shakes his head and points out, “you called me binnie.”

..damn. you were so caught up in your rant that you hadn’t noticed your mistake. with a light hit at his shoulder, you grumble, “don’t read too deep into it, i just heard one of your friends constantly call you that so it slipped.”

“are you sure~?”

“yes.”

“very sure~?”

“..‘right, that’s the end of our therapy session. i expect you to pay me with a cup of karak tea later.” a groan emerges from the deepest part of your tired soul as you get back on your feet, backside sore from maintaining the same position for at least 10 minutes.

right as you’re on your way out, hanbin calls your name. intrigued confused as to what else he’d need, you take the chance and turn around. those busy fingers you noticed earlier? now they’re put together to make a unique heart gesture.

“thank you for keeping me company and opening my eyes to the bigger picture.” the warmth and cheeriness hasn’t been fully restored yet, but you can hear a sliver. and regardless of whether you admit it or not, you feel proud of yourself for assisting in bringing it back.

“no need to thank me, matters like this are why roommates were made.”

(uh huh, sure..)

❀ ... ⃕ not sure if i’ll make a taglist but feel free to donate to my kofi ! now, would you like to return to the masterlist? yes / no.

#zb1 #zerobaseone #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone scenarios #zerobaseone imagines #sung hanbin #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #hanbin imagines #hanbin scenarios #sung hanbin imagines #sung hanbin scenarios #zerobaseone x reader #hanbin x reader #sung hanbin x reader

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agustd-png · 6 months

Text

*grabs mic* yo im back, this one goes out to all my fellow pwp loving friends out there 💋

Changbin/Jisung + Fem Reader. 2.6k. Smut (18+ Warnings under the cut)

Warnings: Oral (m. receiving), piv, public sex, a lil exhibitionism, a lil voyeurism, threesome-ish

Changbin really thought he had it in the bag with the number of times you'd flirted with him that night. A party with his best friends and you, the friend he couldn't help but lust after, had gone quite well for him, or so it had seemed. He knew you would probably be down to hook up if he asked; not that he thought you were a slut, but it was no secret that you were open to lots of sexual experiences and had quite a number of partners under your belt, including some of his friends. All he needed was the balls to suggest it. And between the way you talked and laughed with him all night, sat on his lap unprompted, and wore the shortest skirt he'd ever seen you wear, he felt this was the perfect time to ask you back to his place.

But when the party was winding down and he went to look for you to proposition what he had thought would be a sure thing, he found something more unexpected instead that threw him for a loop.

He checked every room in his best friend's apartment, then found the last one unable to be opened. Chan's room was locked, and when the handle rattled, his best friend's unmistakable accent came through the wood. "Room's taken!" he called. Damn, so it was definitely him in there. But what about you? Changbin pressed his ear to the door to listen for more, and a hot pit of frustration fell through him to his stomach when he heard what was definitely your voice moaning Chan's name. Fuck. Changbin bit hard on his lip and tried not to get too pissed. Why were you flirting with him so much if you were just gonna fuck his best friend? Whatever, you didn't belong to him or anything. And it wasn't like he even had a crush on you really; he just thought you were hot and would be on board to fuck him. So he couldn't blame you if you didn't want that too.

Although he had all the information he needed, Changbin couldn't quite get himself to walk away from the door. A crowd of people were still mingling in the other room, but here he could hear you, the girl that made his dick harder than anyone else, getting railed just feet away from where he stood. The semi he'd been rocking from your flirting twitched and was very quickly a full on boner.

"Fuck Chan, harder, fuck ahh--!" Although he couldn't hear them that well, still your moans sounded even better than he'd imagined. He knew he'd be replaying those sounds in his head for the next few weeks, at least.

Shit, he needed to get out of here. Swiftly grabbing his coat, Changbin left without saying goodbye to anyone and just went straight to his car. Sitting in the dark leather seat, he exhaled heavily. Your voice rang in his head and he was unable to shake it. Palming his throbbing dick, he let himself fall into the fantasy instead of getting too caught up in his disappointment. He looked out the dark windshield at the night sky, and noticed his other friend Minho getting to his car with a girl under his arm. Was everyone getting laid but him? Sure felt like it. His hand fished his dick out of his pants and stroked, just wanting to cum so he could get it over with and get home. It was rare for him to masturbate in his car, but he wanted to stop thinking about you if he could.

He let his eyes close as he concentrated on the muffled sounds of your voice he'd gotten through the door. Fuck you sounded good taking dick...

*tap tap tap*

Changbin jumped in surprise, eyes flying open at the sound of someone rapping on his car window. Covering his dick with his hands instinctively, his gaze snapped to the door.

Oh my God, it was you.

He struggled to cover himself and pretend unsuccessfully he wasn't just jerking off as he opened the door.

"Thought that was gonna be my job tonight," you quipped, smirking at his hands that lay at his crotch.

He wasn't quite sure what to say. "W-well, I heard you with Chan so I thought..."

You walked quickly around to the passenger door against the curb and climbed into his car, closing the door behind you. You were flirting with him all night because you did want to go home with him. But Chan had just beaten him to the punch with his straightforwardness. "He just asked for a quickie, so I said yes," you shrugged nonchalantly. You paused then smirked again, putting the pieces together. "That why you're jerking off in your car, Bin? You heard me getting fucked?"

He couldn't deny it; you were of course exactly right, so he just nodded. You chuckled and brought your hand down to replace his on his dick, spreading your legs at the same time and letting your short skirt ride up your thighs. He could see now that you weren't wearing panties and his cock twitched and leaked a bit at the sight. "You're so hot," he said matter-of-factly through a groan.

For you, it was heavenly getting so much attention from so many hot men tonight; you couldn't deny how sexy you felt. "Hm, well hot girls have plenty of time for hot guys like you." You pushed your breasts together with your arms and smiled sweetly, contrasting with your other actions. Chan had been good: a hard, quick fuck that made your head spin, and having Changbin here lusting after you as well was such a turn on. You were ready for a second round, no matter which one of them it was from.

You adjusted, getting up on your knees to lean over and drop your head. His cock slipped between your lips and you immediately bobbed your head, knowing it would drive him crazy and also that neither you of needed to take your time. You were both horny enough as it was.

"Yeah, like that..." he sighed, letting his head fall back and his hand rest on your head. Your mouth felt even better than he'd imagined. So fucking soft and warm...

You felt him stiffen even more in your mouth, the veins throbbing deliciously against your tongue and his precum mixing with your saliva until it was one sweet, wet mess. Your pussy clenched and you felt the wetness leftover from your hookup with Chan sticking to your skin. You felt absolutely filthy, in the very best way, and took a deep breath through your nose before taking Changbin's whole length into your throat. Your nose hit his pelvic bone that peaked out between his clothes and you focused on controlling your gag reflex, your pussy clenching at the loud moans he couldn't hold in. You pulled off breathlessly and stroked your hand quickly over his length, peering up at his face that was lined with a thin layer of sweat, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. You watched his expression and saw it change drastically suddenly, his gaze pulled away from yours by something out the passenger window. You turned and looked behind you, seeing your mutual friend Jisung at the window. You got up and went to roll it down.

"What do you want?"

"What the hell are you doing?" Jisung looked at you with an annoyed expression.

"What's it look like?"

You and Jisung hooked up from time to time, but just to blow off a little steam. He of all people should know your sex drive was quite high. Jisung leaned down and looked in at Changbin, who could just sit awkwardly, and Jisung gave him a nod.

"Hey, man."

"Hey," Changbin replied stiffly.

"So what do you want?" You repeated, getting annoyed at his interruption.

"You're my ride, girl. How else do you think I'm getting home? Besides, I thought you already fucked Chan, I didn't expect you out here sucking another dick. No offense," he added, addressing Changbin.

"Well, I d--" you started.

"You can stay," Changbin chimed in unexpectedly. He had to admit it was always hot to have an audience, and he was well aware you and Jisung hooked up occasionally.

"Yeah?" Jisung sounded intrigued, then looked at you expectantly.

You had no objections, so you just shrugged and turned back to Changbin to continue your task. You smiled at Changbin and gave him a wink as you dragged your tongue up his length, sending chills through him. Jisung stood at the window, craning his neck a bit to see over your ass and get a better view.

"You like to be watched?" You murmured to Changbin before swirling your tongue over the head of his dick.

Changbin glanced over at Jisung briefly, considering. "Well...I definitely don't hate it," he replied with a smirk pulling up one side of his mouth. Another groan escaped him when you pulled his cock back between your lips and sucked. "Especially if I get to be here." He stretched his arm across the top of the passenger seat and dug his nails into the leather, trying to stay composed if he could.

But you had other plans; you were determined to see him come apart. So you went back to deep throating him, this time letting your hand play with his balls at the same time.

"Fuck--!" He spat, unable to contain it and tossing his head back.

"She's good, right?" Jisung piped up from behind you cockily.

"Really fucking good," Changbin praised, pushing your hair from your face and meeting your gaze. You did your best to smile with your mouth full, but he could see it in your eyes. You pulled off and jerked your hand quickly, glancing behind yourself to Jisung. He stood at the window with his hand down his pants and was rubbing his dick to the sight before him.

"Enjoying the view?" You teased with a little wiggle of your ass.

"You'd better stop unless you wanna get it hard again," he said with a shake of his head and a hard look at your ass. He always loved to take you from behind and you knew how much he loved your ass, so this was probably a perfect view for him. Besides, without your panties on and with a skirt that short, that view alone was a free show for him. Seeing you suck dick was the icing on the cake.

"Who says I don't?"

You turned back around to Changbin and smiled up, putting the focus back to him. He was here first after all. And you'd made him wait all night for you. So now you gave your best puppy eyes and tugged at his cock quickly. "I wanna see you cum, Bin. Cum for me, baby..." You murmured under your breath, this moment focusing solely on him, letting him see how into him you were.

Changbin bit hard on his lip and couldn't take his eyes off of you, his expression dark and colored by pure lust. He couldn't hold it back anymore, and with a loud, deep groan that was so satisfying to you, he hit his climax. Cum jumped from his tip and landed on his shirt. The last of it dripped down your fingers as your hand slowed, and your pussy clenched in desperation. You watched his expression as you licked his shaft and your fingers clean, feeling wonderfully filthy. His eyes clenched shut for a moment, another pleasured hum rumbling in that broad chest, and with a deep breath he relaxed into his seat.

"God that was good..."

You shrugged and smiled sweetly, licking your lips daintily as you sat back up in the passenger seat. "Hm, my pleasure."

You looked out the passenger window to Jisung, who was clearly desperately horny now. He had his pants undone and dick in his hand, and now you could see just how hard he was.

"Need a hand?" You quipped.

"If I can give you one." Jisung stared at your tits, that were practically out at this point. You pulled the daringly short crop top up over your breasts and let him touch, enjoying the attention. You remembered you were in public, in front of a friend's place no less, and looked out the windshield, but didn't see anything other than the calm, empty street.

You looked over at Changbin, wondering how he felt about two of his friends feeling each other up in his car. Luckily he still seemed pretty into it, sitting back with his arm still across the passenger seat, his strong hand resting right behind your head. Now it was his turn to watch. So you thought you might as well put on a show.

You grabbed Jisung's hand that groped your breast and pulled it down, under your skirt. "Fuck you're wet," Jisung noted, quickly sliding his fingers through your slit. You shuddered when he brushed your clit, then reached out for his dick, tugging it as best as you could at the angle.

"Mm, I can't--turn around," he demanded suddenly, popping the door open and swinging it out of the way, guiding you onto all fours again.

Your veins pumped with adrenaline as you climbed, the position putting you back with your head practically in Changbin's lap. "Sorry," you chuckled as you shimmied your skirt over your hips. You heard Jisung tearing open a condom, and in mere seconds he was inside you, making your eyes roll and nearly cross. "Shit--"

But Changbin didn't need to be apologized to; he wore an amused expression and was greatly enjoying this view, mainly to see your expressions and hear your sounds as you got fucked, this time with no door between him and you. He hoped one day to be the cause of those sounds.

Jisung grabbed the top of the car with one hand and your hip with the other, pounding into you relentlessly. He was not one to take his time, which could be a negative thing, but since you knew that about him, you mostly only fucked him when you wanted it hard and fast. You were getting tired, this being the third guy you hooked up with in the last hour alone. But at least Jisung was doing most of the work, so you gladly just relaxed and let him use your cunt to get off. It wasn't like you weren't enjoying it either anyway.

You glanced up at Changbin, your vision blurred by the speed you were being moved and by the hair that hung messily in your eyes. Still though, you could see the lust behind his gaze, the want he had for you. You clenched around Jisung just from that, making him spit out a curse behind you. His nails dug into your hips, and in only a few thrusts more you were tumbling over the edge, hitting your climax while still looking hazily into Changbin's eyes. Jisung moaned loudly and pulled out, tugging his cock until he came on your ass with a deep grunt. Changbin reached down and pulled your chin, roughly dragging you in to kiss him. You were still struggling to catch your breath and keep your head from swimming, but you happily kissed him back.

Jisung tapped you on your lower back a few seconds later, clearing his throat. "So we going now? You can make out with Changbin anytime. I wanna get home."

You pulled back and rolled your eyes, then addressed Changbin sincerely. "Thanks for a good time," you said simply, patting a hand on his broad chest. "It won't be the last."

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sydsaint · 10 months

Text

The reader has a hard time convincing her bosses that LA Knight is worth the push. She finds it especially hard when Pearce is up her ass about backing Knight. But it's all worth it to see Knight's grateful side.

It's a usual Friday night for the Smackdown roster, and you are hard at work backstage with Adam Pearce. Hunter and Shawn also happen to be backstage tonight, so the whole roster is buzzing with questions.

"So we've got our first four men for the United States Invitational," Hunter explains from his seat at the head of the table.

"And we're going to let you two pick the other four." Shawn chimes in. "You each get two picks. So think about it for a minute and let us know." He adds.

You nod and tap your pen on the table in thought. You wonder who Pearce will pick given that he doesn't seem to have any personal connections with anyone on the roster. Not like you do at least.

"Well?" Hunter prompts the two of you after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm going to go with Sheamus and Rey Mysterio." Pearce gives his two names.

Hunter nods and jots the names down. "What about you, Y/N?" He asks you.

"Im going to go with Cameron Grimes as my first." You answer which earns you a smile from Shawn. "And LA Knight for the other one."

"Pfft, big surprise there." Pearce scoffs at your second choice.

You turn in your chair and glare at Pearce from across the table. "Problem, Adam?" You challenge him.

"Nope. Not a thing." Adam scoffs again. "I just said I wasn't surprised by your choices. They're both NXT guys. And we all know that you and Shawn are close." He shrugs.

"Right." You roll your eyes. "I'm sure that's all it is. That's why you look like you're ready to explode."

Pearce huffs and uncrosses his arms. "Fine! Do you want me to say it, Y/N?" He asks you.

"Go ahead Pearce, say it!" You snap back at him.

Unable to keep his thoughts to himself, Pearce gets to his feet and points an accusing finger at you. "Hunter, Shawn, Y/N is clearly playing favorites here!"

"And there it is." You scoff.

"She pushed for Knight to be in the MITB match even though no one else wanted him in the match. And now she's trying to push him again! You two aren't here every week You don't see what I see. And if you did then you'd know what I was talking about." Pearce says his piece.

You roll your eyes again as Pearce snitches on you to Hunter and Shawn. "Y/N?" Shawn gives you a chance to defend yourself.

"He's a good wrestler." You reply in a calm and collected tone. "He's good on the mic. He's one of our biggest merch sellers. The crowds love him. Not to mention that even when he's not booked on the show, he still manages to be our biggest draw on social media. Even over The Bloodline. So you tell me, why wouldn't I want to push him?" You ask the room calmly.

Hunter and Shawn share a look and you know that you're winning. That is until Pearce speaks up again.

"Hunter, Shawn, may I speak with the two of you in private for a minute?" He asks the pair. "Regarding, Y/N?"

"Whatever." You scoff and head for the door before Shawn and Hunter can even agree.

You step out into the hall and lean against the wall while Pearce sits in the other room and gossips about you. The walls in the arena are pretty thin, so you can just make out what Pearce is saying if you listen real close.

"With all due respect, Hunter, Shawn. I like, Y/N, I do." Pearce plays it off as him being nice. "But truthfully, I think that she's sleeping with him. And I know that seems outlandish, but like I said earlier. The two of you aren't here every week. You don't see her with him every week. Talking to him, flirting with him. I've overheard some of their conversations. And they are more than friendly towards one another." He explains.

You scoff and lean back against the wall again. "Fucking snitch." You mumble to yourself while you wait.

A few minutes later, Hunter calls you back into the room. You come back in and sit down in your chair. Pearce wears a satisfied smile on his face and you mentally gag.

"Well?" You sit down and turn to Shawn. "What's the damage? Am I suspended? Demoted? Fired?" You ask them.

"Don't be dramatic, Y/N." Shawn shakes his head. "We're accepting LA Knight as your second pick for the match." He informs you.

You nod and fold your hands in front of you. "Good. It's a wise booking decision." You assure them. "Is there anything else?"

"No. The meeting will pick back up after the show. Where we'll decide who's winning both matches." Hunter informs everyone. "Shawn and I have some things to discuss. But you two can go get back to work." He dismisses you and Pearce.

"Right. Thank you, Hunter." You nod and get to your feet. "See you later tonight, Shawn." You add before you leave.

You and Pearce exit the conference room at the same time and head back to your offices at the same time. When you reach your shared office, Pearce can't help but speak up.

"I'm just doing what's best for the show, Y/N." He tries and reason with you.

"Sure." You nod plainly. "Whatever you say, Pearce." You shrug and pick up your walkie-talkie. "This is, Y/N. Can I get Cameron Grimes and LA Knight to my office asap, please?" You ask.

The room falls silent again until Cameron arrives at your request. He walks over to your desk and greets you with a smile. "Hey, boss." Cameron grins at you.

"Hey, Cameron. Thanks for coming down so quickly." You thank him and gesture to the empty seat by your desk. "I've got some exciting news for you." You inform him.

"Really now?" Cameron replies. "Sounds like fun. What's up?" He asks you.

You neaten a few papers on your desk to create some dramatic effect. "I'm adding you to the US champ invitational match next week." You inform Cameron. "It's a four-way with LA Knight, Rey Mysterio, and Sheamus as well."

"Yeah? That's great!" Cameron takes the news well. "Thanks for thinking of me, Y/N. I won't let you down." He assures you.

"I'm sure you won't, Cameron." You chuckle.

Cameron heads off to find something to do for the rest of the show. Pearce eventually walks off to go find Rey and Sheamus which leaves you alone in the office for a while. That is until LA Knight finally shows up.

"Y/N! Crew told me that you were looking for me?" Knight saunters into the room with his usual swagger. "What can I do for my favorite Smackdown GM?" He asks you.

"I'm putting you in the US champ invitational with Rey, Sheamus, and Cameron." You inform him.

Knight leans against the side of your desk with a cocky grin and chuckles. "Thank you!" He winks at you. "I can always count on you to make good decisions, sweetheart."

"Mhm." You roll your eyes playfully. "You know, Pearce thinks that we're sleeping together?" You add casually. "And he's snitching on us to Hunter and Shawn."

"Is that so?" Knight chuckles. "Was that an option this whole time? Because that sounds like a phenomenal improvement to what we've got going on right now." He teases you.

You laugh and shake your head. "God, why do I put up with you?" You ask yourself.

"Because I'm just that charismatic, sweetheart." Knight winks at you again. "You gonna work that sweet ass of yours off tonight so they'll let me win?" He asks you.

"Depends." You shrug. "What's in it for me?" You ask in a suggestive tone.

Knight licks his lips and looks you up and down. "Oh, I'll make it worth your wild, honey." He assures you.

"I'm sure you will." You giggle and push Knight by the chest when he starts leaning your way. "I'll let you know by the end of the night."

Knight nods and heads out before you get caught by Pearce not having sex. As Knight goes through the door, Pearce walks in with Shawn and Hunter.

"Y/N." Shawn narrows his eyes at you.

"Boss." You smile back at him. "Pearce."

#wrestling #la knight #wwe fanfiction #wwe #wwe smackdown #smackdown #wwe x reader #x reader #wrestling fanfiction #wrestling fic

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life-winners-liveblog · 5 months

Note

*taps mic* Hello? Can you hear me? (Except Martyn lol imagine going from the best listener to someone who is deaf)

Hi I just got here and am being very entertained by you guys

Gri I would try to help you work through your trauma but all efforts have been futile so far so instead take this leather jacket and sunglasses (to match timmy!), a sun holographic picture, as well as these cookies 🍪 (<- those are cookies shortbread is a biscuit)

Scott, be careful try not to burn yourself out, take these paints and easels, (fake) coral jewellery, a star/night sky holographic picture, and some poppies

Pearl, I would give you something, but someone is very mean and won't let me, so I'm sending you some sunflowers, a puppy and some bones, a moon holographic picture, and a clock

*If possible, I yank on Martyn's hair* *a note then appears with the following writing* Martyn, I don’t even care about the fact that you betrayed your Scott, it made sense for you, was a good ending moment and he didn't even mind (was probably his favourite version of events that could have happened). No, I'm mad at you because of how apathetic you are. I'm sorry that you find it "easy" to move on, but others feeling emotions about their past is not weak. It's human. You are quite literally my second-least favourite person and the other person has the same illness as you but worse. You get a pufferfish, a (toy) axe, a cake, and a holographic picture that seems to change images. Sometimes it shows the sea, sometimes it shows trees, sometimes Mars, sometimes a meteor, sometimes a black hole (ooc: etc etc just all the different Martyn winner interpretations lol I'm not writing all of them)

Jim-jam! Nice to see you! You get poppies, a wooden doll, a frog and bucket, and a holographic picture of a canary

Scar! It's been a while since anyone has sent you anything buddy so you get 3 more llamas, 15 more camels, 19 more pandas and 81 more jellie cats. Oh and a holographic picture of cacti

DL!Scott you fucker you are my least favourite you apathetic son of a bitch. You get the poison effect

SL!Jimmy you get cake for being the in-between person, as well as a ghost plushie and a holographic picture of a doggo (if you look closely there's a canary)

To the rest of the losers, I'll give them some weighted blankets. One for everyone :)

-Saph <3

LimL!Jimmy: This is still not Judge Judy and Executioner... But thank you...

~~~~~~

Grian: ugh... I don't know how other me can confortably wear this all day.

LimL!Jimmy: Grian why are you dressed like me?!?! Do this mean you want to join the Bad Boys??

Grian: Uhhhhh... not really? The whispers -

LimL!Jimmy: Why not?!? You could be an honorary Bad Boy!!!

Grian: ... Fine, whatever.

LimL!Jimmy: Yeah yeah yeah!

~~~~~

Pearl: Ooooh nice! Let's see, how does this holographic thing work?

Scott: Oh they sent me one of those as well! I think... you do it like... this!

Pearl: Mansplaining moment.

Scott: What!?!? I was just... you asked...and I...

Pearl: Calm down Scott, it was just a joke... why are you so jittery.

Scott: ...Maybe the whispers are right, I do need to relax a little.

~~~~~

Martyn: Well screw you too I guess, that hurt... and I never said that feeling about the past is weak, what I find weak is letting said emotions submerge you completely like Grian does, now I have seen how he was, I saw his passion but when I look at him now I see none of that, he is not weak because he misses Scar, who cares about that, he is weak because he wallows in his own self pity and misery constantly... He couldn't have done anything differently and he can't go back to change anything so why does he insist on acting like a wet wipe.

#asks #trafficblr #traffic series #grian #scott smajor #pearlescentmoon #martyn inthelittlewood #author answers #/I am afraid i can't allow you to poison me/#/And I also remember an oath between us that this behavior would stop/#/Now now... I'll let it go this once... It would be cruel to punish you for something under no ones control... like stupidity/#//Uh//#//Scott sure is a prick isn't he?//#//Well It's going to take a while to deliver all this blankets//#/Then go/

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holllandtrash · 11 months

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watching the austria post race and seeing lando and pierre being quite friendly w each other, thinking about the better series....

a short better series blurb, following the austria gp - 700 words

you stood off to the side and watched the F1TV post-race interview play out. pierre wasn't originally supposed to join lando but when his pr manager gave him the nod and handed him a mic, it was clear there was a change in plans.

pierre tapped lando on the shoulder, "bonjour."

lando smiled when he recognized it was another driver on the grid who had accompanied him, "bonjour, ça va?"

"Ça va," pierre nodded with a chuckle. they might not have been on the best of terms, but it always brought him joy when the non-french speaking drivers greeted him in his language.

they were friendly throughout the interview, taking turns responding to questions. from where you stood just behind Rosanna, leaning against the motorhome, you had direct line of site to Pierre.

Lando was blocked for the most part by Jolyon, but you could make out his arms crossed over his chest as he listened to pierre, nodding every so often.

he saw you, there was no way he didn't see you. even if he didn't see your face right away, the pink canvas converse. it was the only thing that stood out in your neutral outfit. a dead giveaway who you were here to support.

lando put more weight on his back and leg and subtly turned his head in your direction. it was only for a second, but you caught it. you caught his eyes. you saw the way the corner of his lips turned upwards and not at something pierre said but because you were there.

he was then pulled back into the conversation and lando stumbled over his words slightly. not enough that anyone passing by would notice, nor would the commentators. but you noticed. pierre noticed. pierre was smooth though and brought the mic back up to his lips to take over, to take some of the tension off lando.

"you didn't get a penalty though, did you?" jolyon asked the british driver for confirmation.

"no, no i've been a good boy," lando joked, that familiar cheeky grin returning to his cheeks. why did it make you smile too?

pierre laughed, "for once."

that comment could have been taken to heart. there was some underlying truth to it. a painful yet humorous reminder that lando had in fact, made mistakes in the past. of course, pierre's two cents wasn't in reference to his track performance. no, it was in direct reference to you.

you counted down the seconds until finally pierre put the mic down on the table. he patted lando on the back and his eyes instantly found you, face lighting up as he returned to your side.

"i heard that," you nudged your body against his. "your little for once."

pierre draped his arm over your shoulder, "if there is every an opportunity to remind lando how he messed up, i will take it, cherie."

"it's been months. we're all civil at this point."

but were you?

you still had yet to actually talk to lando face to face. still had yet to say any words to him that were't over his twitch stream over a friendly text here or there to congratulate him on his race results.

you glanced behind you as you walked down the paddock, spotting your old friend as he became surrounded by fans and people who wanted to take a photo or grab an autograph. he entertained them all, of course, that's who he was. but he kept glancing your way in the process.

there it was again. that shy smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. you smiled back, but you weren't even sure if he caught it with how many people were trying to get his attention.

feeling pierre kiss the side of your head, you turned and looked up at him.

"you okay?" pierre asked, feeling the tension in your shoulders

you nodded because you were okay, but that was it. just okay. you had been just okay for a while now. you were happy with pierre, there was no mistaking that but something was missing, something that prevented you from feeling more than okay on a regular basis.

but you didn't want to let yourself think that maybe lando's absence was the reason for it.

#better series #pg10 #ln4

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ahwp · 5 months

Text

This is the Sippy Saturday Podcast Brought to you by At Home With Piper and The Harrington Foundation.

Season 1 Episode 1: Life Be Lifin'

Piper smiles at the camera as she's given a countdown by her producer. As she’s given her cue, she parts her lips and begins her introduction from her seat on the blush pink couch.

Piper: Hey babes! Welcome to the inaugural episode of the Sippy Saturday Podcast, brought to you by At Home with Piper. Today’s episode is sponsored by The Harrington Foundation. I’m Piper, your host, and new bestie. As if you couldn’t tell by the sash and crown, it’s my fucking birthdayyyy!!! (She chuckles softly as she repositions the mic and opens a bottle of tequila, pouring a shot.) On tonight’s episode, it’s just me and you, talking about life and how it’s been whipping my ass for the past few years cause, baby, life has been lifing the fuck out of me. So grab a drink, if you’re smart, you’ve already made you a Sippy Saturday cocktail from my At Home With Piper website, grabbed your snacks, and are sitting comfy waiting on the tea. Let’s toast to a good night, the happiest of birthdays for myself and anyone else celebrating, and an amazing Episode.

(The scene cuts to a prerecorded clip of Piper making the drink of the night. )

Piper: Tonight’s Mocktail is one of my favs, the Spicy Paloma. The recipe will be linked below with some alcohol substitute for my drinkers out there. (She takes a sip and rocks side to side while tasting it. She taps the glass with her finger nails and smacks her lips) Mhm.. I’m telling you guys, you have to try it. It’s a must.

Piper: A few very important things to know about me, I’m a 28 year old entrepreneur and a mommy of 2. I’m in therapy weekly and it’s the only thing other than God, keeping me from ending a few mother fuckers. Praise God. My kids are my world. I love my babies with my whole being and wouldn’t trade them for the world. Now let’s circle back to therapy. Baby get you some! Okay? Okay! Cause listen, the shit I’ve experienced these past few years, was enough to make me lose my mind. I completely lost myself, I’m talking didn’t recognize myself in the mirror, lost. I was so sad and depressed and just pushed away everyone I loved. Looking back on my life, younger me never expected any of the things she has now. Not the money, the houses, the kids, the experiences, none of it. I didn’t expect a bad life, but I thought my life would be really simple. I’d still be back home, I’d own a modest house and I’d be a school teacher. I just wanted to be happy and content. Instead, I’m a single mom of two, and while I’m killing this shit, this shit is not for the faint of heart. Granted I do have more resources than some other moms and I’m not saying that it’s hard in that way, but let’s not act as though carrying, birthing, and then caring for life isn’t something hard that all moms struggle with despite finances. I had a solid plan for my life and while a lot of it has come to pass, this family dynamic is not what I expected.

I grew up going back and forth between Rhode Island and New York. I’m the oldest of 4 girls and I was the favorite. Sorry girls, but it’s true. Ask daddy. (She laughs.) Life wasn’t hard even when it was. My parents made sure we didn’t see or feel the hardships of a young married black couple living part time in uptown New York or the two bedroom flat in Rhode Island that they owned but could barely afford. It was during all the back and forth that I met my ex husband at 15. I plan to have him on here one day and we can tell that story then. But basically, we were together for 8 years before he moved to LA. I followed him months later. I was a kindergarten teacher and was in college getting my bachelor’s of nursing degree. I graduated and moved to LA and when I got here, all that sweet phone talk about what life would be if I moved out here turned into some “you need to find your self ” bullshit. (She lowers her voice to mimic her ex’s and laughs and takes another sip of her drink.) Granted, his arguments ended up being true. I had been with him since I was 15. I really didn’t know who I was as a woman without him. So we break up for a while and then get back to gather, have a kid and get married. This man was my first everything. The first man I ever loved no one could have told me, we wouldn’t have lasted. Not even a year into our marriage were we divorced. My life had become motherhood and trying to please him, while his life had become being our provider and protector and we lost one another. We both saw it and I thought we were working on it, and then I found out he had cheated. It was public. I was humiliated. I remember feeling like I had failed, my self, my son, my parents. I couldn’t understand how. I followed the rules. (She uses air quotes as she sets her glass on the table next to her) This was the first time i experienced depression. PPD and divorce was kicking my ass. I was hyper focused on my son to the point that I started to push away my friends, and I wouldn't even take care of myself. I would shower everyday and that was it. There were days that i didn't eat or sleep because I just couldn't bring myself to do anything that didn't involve taking care of Prince. When I finally snapped out of it and started to get a sense of myself again, I vowed to not date. Luckly, I had some friends talk some sense into me. This is when I met Greyson, my daughter's father. At the time, I was very new to dating. I hadn't been with anyone other than Caleb my entire life. I was naive and ignored key signs that this wasn't a good partnership simply because I felt wanted to feel loved and Greyson gave me that feeling. Let me take it a few steps back and reintroduce our story to you from the eyes of a whole woman. This is a part of my story and in no means do I mean to break Greyson down, but I will not lie. I was clearly in a manipulative relationship filled with gaslighting, and love bombing. In no way do I absolve myself of my poor choices in dating this man and then having a child with him, but I will not keep quiet or spare him simply to save face. I fucked up unintentionally, but his intentions were clearly malice from the start.

When I met him, I wasn’t trying or expecting to fall for anyone. I’d actually made up my mind that I’d be single and I just wanted to have some fun. Either way, we dated off and on for about 4 months before making it official. We took a trip together and we had sex for the first time. I ended up pregnant but I didn’t know that i was until until weeks later while I was dealing with the grief of losing my mom. I feel like this was the start of the major red flags in our relationship. This man would be extremely present and loving and then go missing for weeks at a time. Looking back on my pregnancy, I don’t have many fond memories. Was he there during my mom’s passing, yes, but beyond that it was very hit and miss. I didn’t get to enjoy it unless I was being celebrated by my friends. I had no shower, no gender reveal, and I only had a maternity shoot because I made myself do it. I really put on a happy face while going through hell. Not just because I’d lost my mom but because I was in an unplanned pregnancy with a man who would up and disappear on me with no warning and then come back and love bomb the fuck out of me and gaslight me to hell. I started to realize this in my pregnancy and for reasons known now, I thought I should hold on. I knew in my mind, that I could fix this. This was something minor. He wasn’t use to relationships and I was only use to the one that I’d been in for 10 years that had failed. So here I am, a year removed from a very long term relationship and in a very new relationship, unexpectedly pregnant, and my man was love bombing me. He was inconsistent and always in some shit. I put on a smile and took care of home. Things were not great but they weren’t bad. Thats what I kept telling myself. We had some work to do but nothing that couldn’t be repaired. That was my mindset, until I realized that I was in deed on some bullshit. My daughter barely knew her dad and I was okay with just dealing with that to save face. To hold out hope that he would fix things, that this relationship, wouldn’t be a failure. That I would get my happy ending. Well that shit ended in the fiery pits of hell. I was one foot out the door by the end of it and had left my own home and was staying with my sister Syx a few weeks before things ended. Do yall know this man had the audacity to ask me to change my name but wasn’t ready to marry me? Yeah. We had an entire argument about why I still have my ex’s last name and why he wouldn’t marry me because of it. Despite the fact that this was something discussed on one of our first dates. That moment was the defining moment for me. I knew things were done. How could you love me but have no regard for me or my son? A few weeks after we talked and were trying yet again, his disappeared and I havent seen or heard from him since. No calls to see his daughter, no desire to be a dad yet this child was something he wanted so bad. Needless to say, I was pissed. It was an anger I’d never felt before. It took me such a long time get myself out of that space but here we are. I was so angry that I wanted to physically hurt this man, not because of how he had done me but becauwe he abandoned his child. My daughter is the sweetest thing. She’s so loving and smart and I know we all say that about our kids but my babygirl is something so special and I’m so angry with myself for making the choice I made in her father because he’s just a sorry excuse of a man. I tried so hard to not talk down about him but how can you not tell the truth about a person? (She sighs and sits back) the honest truth is I feel like I’ve held myself back from moving forward by trying to protect him and his character. I’ve filmed this episode 5 or 6 times and each time has ended in me crying and cursing him out in the unholiest of ways. I’m talking certifiable unhinged behavior. My therapist got a big check after those sessions. What’s changed though is the fact that I know my kids are better off without him and his influence.

As I'm growing, I’m learning more and more about myself and just life in general. For years, basically my entire life, I felt like a child needed both parents, or that I had to follow the rules if I wanted to be happily married or raise amazing kids and that’s simply not true. My babies are well rounded, well traveled, respectful, honest, and loving. I’ve done an amazing job. I have an amazing family and support system that loves my children like their own. I couldn’t ask for a better village. I believed that I my marriage would be successful because I’m a good woman who cooks, cleans, makes her own money and has other great attributes and talents. (Piper winks at the camera as she sips from her glass.) It didn’t take me long to learned that you can be perfect for someone and that shit can still go wrong. You can do your part, be the most loyal, humblest person and people will still fuck you over and walk all over you. Shit happens. Is it okay? No, but what can you learn from it? What is God trying to teach you? I feel like this past year has been the most important year of my life. I don’t work as hard, I spend more time with my kids making memories, my sister and I moving together and we’re raising our kids as a family and it’s the most wholesome shit I’ve ever done. I feel so at peace knowing that this year brought me peace by any means necessary. God did not play about me. He taught me patience, made me more aware of my own weaknesses and strengths, granted me favor and peace of mind while navigating all the shit I mentioned prior to now and the things I didn’t. He taught me the importance of letting things go so that I can move on. I’m a very empathetic person and I carry so much weight on my shoulders to understand everyone and to be understood. In the past that has caused me more hurt than anything. Instead of walking away, I’d try to fix things that don’t serve me. I don’t want to be that girl anymore. I can’t be her. I have two kids that literally don’t eat unless I feed them. They depend on me and I refuse to let them down. I say all do this to say, if you’re in a season where you feel like it’s blow after to blow, attack after attack, it gets better. If you’re in a place where you can’t look yourself in the mirror without crying or feeling like you e lost yourself, then wipe your tears and remind yourself who the fuck you are. That shit it momentary. It gets better. I don’t care what anyone says. It gets better because it has to. No weapon formed against you can prosper against you, because it’s not strong enough to. We’re not meant to stay down. We’re meant to learn something and then use it to bring ourselves as the other people like us out of that hole we feel buried in. Sometimes you need a little help. Therapy was quintessential in helping me through my toughest times. Because I want this podcast to be focused on purging the negativity and creating a positive environment for growth and development, I’ve created a foundation focused on supplying resources for those who just need a little help in life.

The Harrington Foundation is a non profit organization that is partnering with local therapists to bring free therapy to those in need in our local communities. This foundation is not only meant to bring forth grief counseling and mental health services to the community but other outreach programs like feeding the hungry and housing the homeless. Too often do we hear the stories of someone needing help with no one willing to give it. I will not be that person. If you would like to help the cause, feel free to donate at the link below or visit theharringtonfound.org. If you are in need of assistance in any way, be it therapy, paying a bill, help finding a home, contact us at 1-888-8888. We have funds readily available to help those in need. Thank you all for listening to me rant about my troubles and passion for growth. This has been the Sippy Saturday Podcast. Thank you for joining means I hope I see you next week. Love yall now bye! I got to go feed these kids. I didn’t even finish my drink Chile. (Piper laughs as the scene cuts to the ad for the Harrington Foundation and her other businesses.)

#Ahwp #SSP #Sippy Saturday Pod #THF

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aliwritesfic · 1 year

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The Wedding Date (Frankie Morales x F!Reader) (part 12)

*taps mic* is this thing on? um, i have literally no excuses. if you're still here, i love you, i cherish you, i dont deserve you. im sorry for the literal year long hiatus.

Previous Next The Beginning

“So this is it,” Frankie grinned shyly at you as he unlocked the door to his house.

“Your humble abode?” You stepped past him into an airy living room. Two dark couches were pushed against the wall, facing a large TV mounted opposite.

“That’s definitely a word for it,” Frankie closed the door behind you. “Here, gimme your bag.” You had come here straight from the airport, the both of you deciding on the flight back that you didn’t want the weekend to end yet.

“Sorry it’s a mess,” he said. “I wasn’t really expecting . . .” He burned red, avoiding your gaze. You reassured him you didn’t really give a fuck about the mess; what he considered a mess was cleaner than any other guy’s place you had ever been to. You wondered if that said more about your previous taste in men or men in general. You decided pretty quickly that it wasn’t a you thing.

Frankie gave you a quick tour, the kitchen and the bathroom and his daughter’s room, decorated to the nines in pink and purple, toys strewn across the ground. You took in the photos hung up on the wall in the hallway, recogising the boys in some of them. Others were of a little girl who could only be Laila.

Finally, came his bedroom.

“Is this where the magic happens?” You peered over Frankie’s broad shoulder and into his bedroom as he set your bag down on the carpeted floor.

“Slight of hand, mostly,” he said, “a couple of card tricks.”

You snorted, beelining for his bed. You were exhausted from the trip, and it just looked so damn inviting. You rolled onto your side, tucking your arm under a pillow. “I think you just made the biggest mistake of your life.”

“Hmm? How so?” The bed shifted with Frankie’s weight as he got in beside you. You scooted closer so you were touching.

“I’m in love with this mattress. Like, it’s stupid comfy.” You toyed with the buttons on his shirt as he spoke. “So, unfortunately for you, it’s going to take a lot to get me away from it.”

“You know what?” His lips brushed your collarbone. “I think I’m okay with that.”

You pulled him closer, hooking a leg around his waist. All words were lost as his lips met yours, devouring you with his kiss.

He groaned into your mouth as he pinned you beneath him, hardness pressing against your abdomen. His callouses scraped down your bare skin as his fingers toyed with the waistband of your pants, slipping down further until he was slick with you.

“Fuck,” you moaned. His lips left yours, trailing kisses down your stomach.

“Relax, baby,” he murmured. Somehow your pants were off and he was between your legs.

His tongue, god his fucking tongue. It teased your clit, his fingers curling inside you. Only the top of his curly hair was visible as your thighs squeezed around his head, back arching and hips bucking.

“Not yet,” he pulled away, unbuckling his belt, erection springing free.

“Fuck me, Frankie,” you pulled him back down against you, skin against skin.

“Say please,” his voice was low in your ear, cock pressing against your entrance.

“Please, please,” you moved your hips closer to his, desperate in your need for him.

“Good girl.”

Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered. Nothing beyond you and him.

You could barely concentrate on your data. You had been home for only a couple of days, and back at work for only a few hours, and you couldn’t focus. You were like a teenager all over again, with butterflies and blushing whenever you thought about Frankie, giggles bubbling up at random moments. You decided to take an early lunch, heading out to the shark tunnels.

The aquarium was quiet today - Tuesdays usually were. A nurse shark swam by, lazy in its course along the bottom of the tank.

You hadn’t told anyone yet about how your weekend away had went, dodging the question when Olivia had brought it up over FaceTime the day after you had gotten home (you had ignored her first call the night before, finding yourself preoccupied in a bed that wasn’t yours). You knew she suspected but was either too tactful or too proud to say anything. For now you decided to let her stew, enjoying the small bubble you and Frankie had created for yourselves. Of course, you knew that bubble couldn’t last forever - life always got in the way. But goddamn if you weren’t going to enjoy it while you could.

You opened your phone and took a quick selfie, being sure to capture the apex predators behind you. I’ve had better dates, you captioned it as you sent it to Frankie. You didn’t expect him to respond - his daughter was back and he was preparing to have her stay for a week.

He had told you a lot about Laila - his face positively lighting up when he described how she had chosen him for her latest art project about their personal heroes. You had seen more photos than you could count, able to pick out pieces of Frankie in her face, even the way she carried herself in some of them.

He had told you less about his ex, Ariel, simply stating that it had been a very messy break-up and left him feeling like he had made too many mistakes ever to be able to redeem himself. They had broken up not long after he had returned from Colombia, when Laila was still an infant. You remembered the conversation, how his voice had been thick with guilt.

“I went to therapy for a while,” Frankie admitted on your last night with him, drawing random shapes on your bare back with his finger. “It helped. I think I’m a better man than I was. I still have a lot to make up for, things I can’t make up for.”

“Why can’t you?” you turned your head to look at him through sleepy eyes. He was silhouetted by the silvery moonlight coming through his open window. Jeff Buckley played from your phone, Frankie’s choice for the album of the night.

It’s never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder.

You had immediately added the song to your playlist when you got home.

“Some things can’t be forgiven,” he said.

You wondered idly what he had meant by that as you wandered slowly back to the labs, detouring past the octopus tanks. You decided you wouldn’t press him about it, knowing that some things had to come out with time alone. If he trusted you, and you hoped he did, he would tell you what he thought you needed to know. Until then, you would have to make do.

The rest of the day passed by slowly; data from the tags you were tracking gave you nothing new, your phone was on silent and at the bottom of your bag, and anyone who you liked to chat with was out in the field that day.

“Tell me you also had a slow day,” you said, FaceTiming Olivia as soon as you got home.

“Fuck no,” Olivia said, “my day was fantastic.” You set your phone up so you could see her as you chopped Mr. Baldwin’s dinner. The tortoise in question was dressed in his shark fin, exploring the area around your feet

“Distract me,” you begged. “Oh, is someone a little lovesick?” Olivia teased. You rolled your eyes but didn’t answer - you weren’t one to lie outright to your best friend.

“Just do it.”

You listened as Olivia launched into a lengthy recap of her day, starting from breakfast (a really good acai bowl) to a significant breakthrough at work (something on a level your brain couldn’t understand). “Oh, and the best part?”

“If something can top molecular biology, I must hear it.”

“I’m not pregnant!”

“I didn’t realise that was something we were worrying about!” You cheered along with her.

She nodded, turning to pure pixels for a moment. “I was a week late, and you know me I’m like a fucking clock. I didn’t want to say anything to anyone.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, relieved mostly.” Olivia sighed, and you dropped a piece of carrot down to Mr. Baldwin. “It just reaffirmed what I already know.”

“No kids?”

“No kids,” she repeated firmly. “But also . . . I have to have a talk with Jeremy.” You bent and picked up the tortoise, carrying him, his bowl of food, and your phone outside to your backyard. “The relationship talk. I wanna be with him, but we need to know if we’re on the same page with everything.”

You nodded, half listening as your thoughts drifted to Frankie. You wanted it with him, everything you could have you wanted it. You weren’t afraid with him, weren’t worried that it was only going to be a matter of time before shit went south and you were left with a broken heart and an STD. From the moment you had met him, even though you had been too fucking blind to see it, he had been the one for you.

You would tell him that, you decided, when you saw him again. It wouldn’t be for another week, but you were feeling brave and reckless and you knew it could be a huge mistake and that maybe he didn’t feel the same. But. But.

But he might feel the same. You were almost entirely certain he did, and that it would be less like taking a chance and more like speeding up the inevitable.

“Are you listening to me?” Olivia’s voice cut your thoughts.

“No,” you said. “Sorry, were you saying anything important?”

“Not really,” she said, “I was just thinking we should get hammered this weekend. Maybe down at the Ivy?”

“The Ivy is for annoying twenty-one year olds now, how about you just come over and we drink til our faces are numb?”

“So long as we watch X Factor auditions and Come Dine With Me.”

“I think you’re my soul mate, Liv.”

She laughed. “I know you’re mine.”

You only heard from Frankie once that week, a simple message that made your heart flutter.

I miss you more every day.

You kept yourself busy, applying for a Winghead expedition in Northern Australia next year. Hammerheads and their subspecies were among some of your favourites, and the expedition had been one you applied to every single year without fail. You hadn’t gotten it yet, but you were feeling lucky.

That was until Friday.

Your phone pinged with a message as you lazed on your couch, your heart sinking as you read it.

I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think this is right. Please don’t contact me, I’m trying to make it work with Ariel.

“Oh.” You set your phone down on your coffee table, holding back the bile that had risen. Of course, of course this would happen. You should have expected it - at some point you had been stupid and stopped expecting it.

You read the message once, twice, three times over.

You decided to go to bed, to sleep and wake up and hopefully find that the message was gone, that you were still hopeful and stupid and lucky.

@laichka @paintlavillered @idreamofboobear @pjkimrn @gracie7209 @sunnshineeexoxo @lorosette @fangirl-316 @dihra-vesa @astoryisaloveaffair @theanothersherlockian @pedritobalmando @blub-senpai @maievdenoir @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @bobbydearest @icanbeyourjedi @goldielocks2004 @1800-fight-me @littledragonlady @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @ficsbynight @hotchlover @dobbyjen @athalien @vanered15

#frankie morales x f!reader #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales #triple frontier #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales fanfiction

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nokingsonlyfooles · 9 months

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WTYP: The Shandor Building, Part 1 [take 2, the long post vs Tumblr's formatting]

[Do you like the colour of the fanfic? This is long and if you expand it you're gonna get the whole thing, because Tumblr hates you. Don't say I didn't warn you!]

[Beware of strong language, mention of all kinds of death, gore, and Lovecraftian horror.]

Part 1: Hello and Welcome to Shandor Studios (it's weird)

[TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: The moon was waning and a raven was tapping on my window when I discovered a heretofore unknown tier at the WTYP Patreon page. It was called "Pazuzu" and cost $6.66 USD. It had one listed benefit "bonus bonus episode." I unlocked a single unnumbered bonus episode titled "Ibo Shanor" and subtitled "train bad actually." Judging from the dialogue, it dates to summer 2023. Since it lacked any closed-captioning, I took the liberty of transcribing it, and coping most of the slides for your edification. (Not really, this is a work of fiction.) I have styled Ms. Caldwell-Kelly as "Alice" since she still seems to be using that in podcast land at this time. Please support WTYP!]

[SLIDE: Shandor Studios, an art deco style building with some familiar-looking gargoyles perched on it, and poor JPEG compression, with an inset of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Captioned: Will the Real Ivo Shandor Please Stand Up?]

JUSTIN ROCZNIAK (R): Hello, and welcome to Well There’s Your Problem, a podcast about engineering disasters with…

LIAM ANDERSON (L) [chanting]: Studio! Studio! Studio!

R: …with slides.

L: Studio! Suck it, Discord!

ALICE CALDWELL-KELLY (A): It’s quite nice, actually. There’s a little break room, and somebody left us one of those edible arrangements, and a paperback Necronomicon…

DEVON (D) [text over slide]: IT WAS ACTUALLY VERY NICE. I HAD MY OWN CONTROL ROOM. BUT IT WAS NOT WORTH IT.

L [distorted, too close to the mic]: My audio sounds amazing! This bonus episode is about Liam’s cool mic!

A [obligingly]: Yay, Liam’s cool mic.

R: It’s made of meat, though.

L: What, my cool mic?

R: No, the edible arrangement in the break room. They’re usually made of fruit, this one is made of meat. Raw meat.

A: Yes, I was wondering if that was an American thing. [laughter] I’ve never been to Massachusetts before!

L: It’s Innsmouth, Alice. Nobody’s ever been to Innsmouth. It doesn’t technically exist.

R: It’s not even on Google Maps.

A: Is it sort of a, er, township? Unincorporated township?

R: It’s more of a, uh, cult.

A: Like an MLM?

L: Like Christianity!

R: Well, a bunch of fish people founded it in the late eighteen hundreds…

L: Fucking fish.

R: …and let’s say they got up to some questionable activities.

A: Anything I should be worried about?

R: Well…

A: I did travel here by interdimensional portal and that’s just a bit… off-putting? It’s very convenient, but…

L: Swimming, having gills…

R: I took the train.

L: Just breathe air, you little shits!

A: Did they not offer you an interdimensional portal, then?

R: No, they did, I just said I’d rather take the train.

A: How was it?

R: Not bad. It was made of meat, though. The train. Smooth ride. Turns out meat is an excellent shock absorber, just not very practical. There was a flock of ravens trying to eat us the whole way.

A: That’s… a bit odd.

L: Brian Phelps.

R: Brian Phelps is made of meat?

L: No, Brian Phelps is a fucking fish. [shouting, too close to mic again] You’re not fooling anyone, Brian! God, I could go for some salami. Is there any salami in the meat bouquet?

R: There is definitely not any salami in the meat bouquet.

L: I’m gonna make myself a sandwich!

[scraping sound, footsteps, door opens and closes]

A: It’s nice having a studio, though.

R: It’s not bad. I like these chairs with the wheels. Good lumbar support. How was the portal?

A: Terrifying, but brief. Very brief. It materialised right under me in the dairy aisle of Tesco’s, then I was in this howling green tunnel for about five seconds, and then I was here. On the one hand, I didn’t have to show my passport or go through security, but on the other hand, I’m just slightly concerned I might have cancer. Or a prion disease. [nervous laugh] Or maybe I’ll turn into a fish person. Did you mean literal fish people?

R: Yes.

A: I suppose… Someone got very lonely and fucked a fish, or…?

R: Yes.

A: What? Are you being serious? What kind of a fish… Do you mean mermaids?

R: No. In fact, mermaids have a notorious design flaw when it comes to sexual congress with us human types. What you’re after, as a lonely sailor, is an animal known as the “reverse-mermaid,” which is widely regarded as a joke, and depicted as the head and torso of a fish, with human legs, and presumably genitalia, underneath… [drawing a reverse-mermaid on the slide, with the mouse, badly] But which is in fact more of an elder god by the name of Dagon, which does indeed have legs and genitalia, but is more of a fully-anthropomorphic monstrous fish. [drawing monstrous legs and feet] He’s a bit larger and taller. Here, I’ll put a “D” for Dagon. [draws arrow] And the rest of him is up there.

A: As a lonely sailor myself, I don’t see how something like that is any more fuckable than a regular fish. Or a manatee. Frankly, I’d rather fuck a manatee. At least it’s a mammal.

R: Yeah, but you’d be violating the Endangered Species Act.

A [laughing]: I’m sorry, aren’t they endangered? We want them to fuck! You told me to save the manatees, well I’m out there doing it! And then I’m going to save the whales!

R: Debatable whether creating a race of half-human, half-manatee hybrids is saving the species…

A: Are you some kind of fucking manatee eugenicist? If the manatee and I are both consenting adults, and we fancy each other, then leave us the fuck alone! This is how evolution works!

R: In the mind of Donald Trump, yes.

[door opening and closing]

D [text over slide]: I COULD EDIT THAT OUT BUT I’M TOO TRAUMATISED AND DRUNK.

L: You guys… Is that supposed to be a fucking fish?

R: No. It’s the legendary reverse-mermaid.

L: Well, I only respect half of it! Here. The meat bouquet started screaming when I cut into it, so I grabbed some doughnuts.

A: Oh, are there doughnuts? The meat bouquet has a way of…

L: You didn’t hear it?

R: The meat bouquet?

A: …of arresting one’s attention…

L [excited]: The soundproofing in here is fucking incredible!

D [text over slide]: IN RETROSPECT, THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A RED FLAG.

A: Out of sheer, morbid curiosity, did the doughnut scream?

L: Doughnuts don’t scream.

R: Do the doughnuts scream in… in the UK?

A: …No, not usually. Perhaps, perhaps on the continent, but not usually in Britain. They’re very stuffy and well-behaved.

L: And transphobic.

A: Of course.

L: Do you want one of these?

A: Er, I rather think… I’d better not eat or drink anything until another portal opens up and sends me home. Just in case this is a Persephone sort of situation…

R: Probably a good idea.

L: Low blood sugar kills, Alice. [muffled, chewing]

R: You’ll wind up married to Hades and having to spend six months out of the year in Massachusetts.

L: I’m spending twelve months out of the year in this studio, I don’t care if it’s in Massachusetts. If I have to, I will marry Hades twice.

R: Nah, you see, that’s not legal in Massachusetts. You’d be in a bigamous relationship with yourself.

L: Well, then one of you has to do it. Daddy needs his new mic. These chairs are awesome too!

[rumbling, squeaking]

A: I’m already in a very committed relationship with the Mothman, actually. We go around collapsing bridges and making appearances just out of camera frame. It’s quite fun.

R: Alice is actually a cryptid wanted across several New England states.

A: Yes, I’d like very much to get back to it, and not get cancer or die! [nervous laughter] Ah, shall we get on with the episode?

L: I’m never leaving this studio. You will pry this microphone from my cold, dead hand.

A: Intros? Did we do intros?

R: It’s a bonus episode, they already know us.

D [text over slide]: HONESTLY IF WE’D JUST DONE THE INTROS, IT WOULD’VE SAVED US A LOT OF TROUBLE.

A: Right…

R: But we do have [news drop] the God Damn News.

Part 2 will be another post, give me a minute and I'll link it...

#wtyp #well there's your problem #ghostbusters #long reads #fanfic #fanfiction #crossover fic #gozer the gozerian #alice caldwell-kelly #liam anderson #justin roczniak #devon #engineering disasters #podcast

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