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powerfultenderness · 11 months

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Jealous

Pairing: Adrian Chase x Reader (F)

Rated: Explicit 18+

Summary: Adrian’s jealousy leads to a peculiar discovery.

Warnings: PWP. Possessive!Adrian. smut including: Daddy kink, light choking, cum play/eating.

Word Count: 4918

A/N: Big shout out and thanks to @pretendfan for helping me through the seagull problem (mine! 😆) and for keeping me motivated on this one!

[Vigilante x Reader Masterlist]

The first thing Adrian heard as he walked through the door was your sweet voice calling out to him. “Aww, come here, baby.”

He didn’t even question how you knew he’d had a shitty day. He was just happy to finally get to relax and couldn’t wait to melt into your warm and soft embrace.

Before he got to the bedroom, however, he heard you giggling. "Such a good boy!" You cooed in a sickly sweet voice that he'd never heard before.

His brows furrowed and his face scrunched up as he quickly rounded the corner to the bed room. What he saw sent an angry, frustrated heat from his core to his face. That was HIS spot! No one else should be in that spot! And yet, there in your arms!- “What. The fuck?!”

“Adrian!” You jumped when you heard him yell as he stood glaring at you from the doorway. “I thought you said you were going to do Vigilante stuff after work?”

“I was.” He groaned and tossed his head back, “but I wanted to see you first!”

You couldn’t help but smile at his words. Adrian, despite his unusual quirks (mostly the murdering), was quite the loving partner. “Aww!” You hopped up from the bed and walked over to him.

You tried to kiss him, but he turned his head to the side so that your lips instead fell on his cheek.

“What’s wrong?” Didn’t he just say that he wanted to see you, and now he was pulling away?

“That’s my spot!” He mumbled and glared at the bed, more precisely, who was on the bed.

You blinked and turned around, “huh? Pretty sure that’s my side of the bed…?”

Honestly, Adrian was more a stickler for designated spots on the bed than you were.

As you were turned, his arms wrapped around you and he rested his chin on your shoulder. “I wasn't talking about that.” He mumbled into your neck.

You relaxed in his embrace, he was always warm and comforting, but voiced your confusion. “What do you mean?”

"I mean," he started, his hands dipping underneath your shirt, "that I'm the only one that belongs next to you like that."

You snorted at his words and ignored the warmth of his hands. “What?”

Adrian didn’t catch your incredulity and simply tried to clarify. “It’s not cool that I come home and you're cuddling him like you used to cuddle me!”

Your attempt at holding in a chuckle turned your laugh into an ugly snort. “Are you seriously jealous, Adrian?”

“What? No!” His first instinct was to deny, but you both knew that he was indeed jealous.

To say you were a little surprised by his reaction was an understatement. You had never seen him jealous before. Not even when that one guy at the bar couldn’t get a hint and blatantly tried to get you to go home with him, right in front of Adrian no less. Adrian even made a game out of it, how many free drinks could you get out of him! Nor did he ever care when Chris suggested the two of you hook up (of course, Adrian always turned that one into asking for a threesome...).

You turned and poked his chest as you teased him. “You are soo jealous!”

He snatched your wrist and frowned, “no! I- I just don’t think it’s fair that he gets to cuddle with you all day and then doesn’t move when I come home!”

“That sounds like jealousy to me!” You snickered, “besides, he doesn’t cuddle with me all day. I work too, you know!”

“I know that!”

"Do you really?”

“What! Of course! I’ve been to your work!”

“So you admit it? You’re being ridiculous.”

“NO! You’re being ridiculous! You always treat him like a baby!”

“He’s a puppy, Adrian!”

He groaned and raked a hand over his face, “I know that!”

“Do you really?”

“Stop asking me that!”

“Stop being ridiculous.”

“You stop being ridiculous!”

“Fine.”

Adrian paused his little frustrated tantrum and blinked a few times as he looked at you. “Uh, really?”

“Sure.” You shrugged then looked over your shoulder, “come, Birdie .”

Birdie barked happily and hopped off the bed, tail wagging the entire time as he trotted over to you.

“If Daddy doesn’t want us here, we’ll go watch the big TV in the living room!” Though you were speaking to the adorable pup, you looked directly at Adrian.

Adrian let out a strangled frustrated noise as you left the room, already once again, enthralled by the newest addition to the house.

Getting a puppy might have been the worst idea or the best idea he ever had.

You were half way through an episode of some silly sitcom when Adrian emerged from the bedroom. You had expected to see him in the Vigilante suit after an argument like that, instead he wore only a fitted muscle shirt and a pair of sweatpants. How in the world he managed to look that damn good in such a simple outfit was beyond you. Still, that wasn't going to stop you from teasing him a little.

"No Vigilante tonight?"

He only gave you a quick sharp look as he continued to walk past you to the kitchen. You made a face at him only to get distracted by the way his sweats clung to his ass. Adrian Chase had the most perfect ass and even if you were trying to prove a point to him, you were still going ogle.

When he reached the kitchen he opened up the pantry and grabbed a bag of dog treats, making Birdie perk his head up from your lap upon hearing the plastic crinkle.

“Birdie, come here, boy!” He sounded perfectly normal, no hint of anger or annoyance or frustration in his voice. And of course Birdie immediately abandoned you for the promise of bacon flavored treats.

You pouted, more performative than because you were actually hurt, as Adrian went through a round of tricks for the puppy to perform. Sit, shake, lay down, roll over, all tricks Birdie did perfectly. “Good boy,” Adrian gave him one of the treats and scratched his head.

He held a second treat out for Birdie to see and pointed at a corner in the living room, “go to your kennel.”

Birdie, tail wagging, trotted past you and sat down in his kennel. Adrian followed and gave him the second treat and another head scratch before closing the kennel.

He straightened out and turned to face you, “and you,” his voice dropped from the light jovial tone he used with the puppy to something darker. “Get back to the bedroom.”

“Excuse you?”

Not only did he interrupt your show, he took your cuddle buddy away! What gave him the idea-

“Do what you’re told, or Daddy is going to have to punish you.”

“Uh…What?” It took you a few seconds to remember that you called him daddy earlier. You hadn’t meant it like that! At all! You were just calling him daddy because he called Birdie a baby! But it seemed that little groan he let out after you called him that wasn’t him just getting annoyed with you. You weren't even aware that he liked to be called daddy. Maybe he hadn’t been entirely aware of it himself either…

“Hey,” his stern voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “Get up.” He demanded as he now towered over you.

You slowly stood up, eyes locked on his his as you tried to read what was going on. There was just the slightest hint of a smirk hidden in his otherwise serious expression. And that was enough. Besides, you already had a safe word established, what was the harm in playing along?

He nodded towards the bedroom and you rolled your eyes as you turned and started in that direction. As you walked past him, he lightly slapped your ass, “don’t roll your eyes at me.”

You hid a scoffed laugh behind one hand. Sure Adrian was often assertive in the bedroom (just as often as you were, in fact), but never in this kind of way. You had to admit, even though it felt a little silly, you were very curious to see how this would play out. You just had to keep yourself from giggling.

Once in the room, Adrian didn’t give you much time to think about, well anything, much less how to act. He’d spun you around before you even reached the bed and crashed his lips against yours, parting your lips with his tongue while he pulled you flush against his body.

One hand cradled your face as he pulled away just enough to rest his forehead against yours. He smirked seeing how his kiss left you slightly dazed, your pupils beginning to dilate. He ran his thumb a bit roughly across your bottom lip, mesmerizing you with his own heated gaze.

"Kneel."

He didn’t need to raise his voice, in fact it was almost quiet, but there was an edge to the dark fray of his voice that sent an excited thrill through you. It made you forget that you were just giggling at the novelty of the situation. You dropped to your knees so quickly that he noticed, of course he noticed, how eager you suddenly became.

If the way his cock sprung up as you pulled both his pants and boxers down was any indication, he was excited too. If this was about him, about how he didn't feel like you were paying enough attention to him, then you would show him just how much you loved him. You started off slow, gently taking the base of his cock in one hand, a quiet hum escaping you as he twitched in your hand as you pressed feather light kisses first to the head of his cock, barely brushing your lips down the shaft, around your hand until your lips landed on his pelvis. Adrian let out a little whine that turned into a sigh as your tongue glided up from the V of his hip to his abdomen while you pushed his shirt up with your free hand and started slow languid strokes on his cock.

He mumbled a few curses under his breath and hastily pulled off his shirt so you could touch more of his body. Your lips were so soft, and your breath was so warm, and the saliva you left on his body cooled his hot skin. Your hand wrapped around his cock was soft and gentle; you were always so gentle with him, afraid to agitate even the smallest bruise from his vigilante activities.

Sometimes, like now, he hated it.

“Fuck.” He hissed and wrapped a hand around your hand that was around his cock, “harder.” He squeezed your hand and quickly moved your hand up and down his shaft a few times before he felt you smile and giggle into his stomach.

He stilled and stopped using your hand to jerk himself off. “Wait. Stop.”

You sat back on your heels and looked up at him, your head tilted cutely to one side. “What’s wrong?”

“I,” he cleared his throat, dropping his voice and trying his best to glare down at you. “I’m supposed to be in charge!”

Your eyebrows scrunched up but you smiled at him anyways. “But, you are.”

Adrian frowned. Sure you were on your knees, you were touching his dick and kissing what parts of his body your mouth could reach, but he didn’t feel like he was in charge, with his shirt somewhere on the floor behind him and his pants and boxers bunched up in pool around his ankles while you were still fully clothed.

He needed this, he needed you. He needed to show you.

“Get up.”

A hint of confusion flashed across your face, but you would understand soon. He dropped your wrist and kicked off the rest of his clothes before giving you your first command. “Strip.”

You couldn’t help the little grin that started to pull your lips up, “do you want a whole routine?” You swayed your hips a little as your hands gripped the bottom of the oversized tee that you’d been using as a sleep shirt.

He quickly grabbed your jaw in a hard grip, “don’t talk back to me.”

You gasped, he had forced your mouth open and held it like that until you nodded and complied. There was a bit of a scowl painted on his face, not something cute that you could tease him for, a flash of something wild in his eyes that you’ve never seen before and you’re sure not even Vigilante victims have heard such a menacing tone before. You finished pulling your shirt over your head, now nude from the waist up as you hadn't been wearing a bra underneath.

He hummed in approval, his eyes slowly moving down your body until he was looking at the waistband on your shorts. “These too,” he pulled at the stretchy material of your shorts and lightly snapped the band.

You slid the rest of your clothes off under his intense gaze, to which he smirked. With one hand gripping the side of your face, he pulled you into another heated kiss that left you breathless when he pulled away. He dropped his hand down your face, to your jaw, and similar to your feather light touches from before, dragged just the back of his hand down your neck, stopping to run his thumb across your collarbone before moving down until he was touching your left breast.

His sweet mumbled praises of “beautiful” were short lived as he pinched your nipple, drawing out a little whine from you. He smirked and nodded at the bed, "on your back."

Of course. Adrian loved to eat you out, once he figured out what you liked, what had you squirming under his touch and panting out his name, he could hardly keep his mouth off of you.

He climbed over you once your head hit the pillow, slotting himself between your legs, and once again enveloped you in fiery kiss, hot tongue sliding against yours for a moment before he pulled his kisses down your jaw, to your neck, where he elicited a short squeal from you as he bit down and sucked and licked. You had one hand on his shoulder and tried to tangle the other in his hair, but he stopped and slapped your hands off of him.

“I didn’t say you could touch me.”

Your eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. He liked you touching him as much you liked touching him, usually. Besides, wasn’t he just complaining that you weren’t paying enough attention to him? “You don’t want me to touch you?”

It was Adrian who rolled his eyes this time, even growled a little as he answered you. “I want you to learn.”

“Oh? What do you want me to learn?”

He held your jaw and made sure you were looking into his eyes as he spoke, voice low but clear. “That you belong to me.”

His lips descended on yours again, capturing you in a soft passionate kiss, almost too slow for you to handle. Your heart quickened as you shifted underneath him, tempting him to move faster, harder. But he was not deterred.

You let out the quietest gasp of a whimper as he moved to kiss your neck, first gently, until he was biting and sucking and lapping at the skin as if the resulting bruise was a claim. You whined as he pressed his body harder onto you, his hard cock brushing against your clit and dragging down your lips as he moved further down your body.

His lips lingered over your heart, enough for him to feel the thump of a few quickened heartbeats against his lips before he laid claim there too. You sighed as his tongue lapped soothingly at the fresh bruise before he pressed a final kiss above your heart.

You felt him grin into your skin before he moved to your left breast, tongue swirling around your already hardened nipple. He shifts from slow soft licks to gentle sucking, while he gropes at your other breast with one hand, before biting down just shy of too hard. Your back arched into his touch, quiet whimpers falling from your lips as he expertly played your body.

He lifted his head and looked at you, “these gorgeous fucking tits belong to me, understand?”

You bit your lip, stopping the needy whine that threatened to bubble up, and nodded. He took off his glasses and tossed them on the nightstand before dipping his head back down to your breasts.

He mirrored his previous action, this time starting off rough before slowly and gently swirling his tongue around your nipple. You whimpered again, clutching at the sheets as he moved his kisses down your body, leaving bite marks on your skin. By the time he was between your thighs, you were already so worked up, squirming beneath him, and desperate to feel his mouth on your pussy.

He moved purposefully slow, delighting in all of your impatient whines and the cute way you gripped at the sheets instead of grabbing at his hair like you usually would. He grinned into the kiss he planted on your thigh, you were being good, you deserved a reward for that.

You panted out a wanton sigh as he finally touched your pussy, dragging his tongue up one side until he reached your clit. He circled your clit before sliding his tongue down to your entrance, lapping at the wetness your body was already offering him. He didn’t so much follow a pattern as chase what cute noises he could draw from you; sucking at your labia just enough to draw a whimper from you, flicking his tongue across your clit had you moaning quite loudly.

At one point he had to hold your thighs apart, his nose rubbing against your clit while his tongue continued to lick and slurp eagerly at your aching pussy.

“Ah! Adrian!” You cried out, trying to grind against his face, and let go of the sheets to grab his hair.

Adrian usually liked hearing you moan out his name, he liked when you could say nothing but his name until you were so fucked out that you were a mess with just the hint of his name in your warbled cries.

But as you moaned out his name, he firmly pushed your hips back against the bed and pushed himself up, away from your throbbing cunt.

Slap!

You were so close to cumming and the sudden sharp sting of his hand across your clit stopped your impending orgasm. You opened your eyes in time to see the wild look on his face, your cum shining on his face, as he quickly wrapped a hand around your neck and leered down at you. The threat of his hand against your neck, though he didn’t squeeze, was enough to make you whimper and your pussy twitch and pulse achingly around nothing.

“Did I give you permission to call me by my name?”

You bit your lip and swallowed, not even daring to shake your head the slightest. “No.”

“No, what?”

“No, Daddy.” You whined and panted.

“That’s right,” he grinned and released his grip on your neck.

His hands were on you again, rough and hot, as he hooked a hand under your knee and pulled you closer to him. You watched, biting your lip in a poor attempt to quiet the excited pants that still escaped you, as he fisted his own cock, smearing precum from the head to the thick veiny shaft that you were desperate to feel.

Combined with the sheen of sweat that covered his immaculate body, the bright blush that covered his face and the veins in his neck that visibly popped, you were certain that he was straining to keep control of himself, struggling to stop himself from wildly fucking you into the bed like you wanted.

He wanted more, though. He wanted to hear you say it.

He slowly dragged the tip of his cock up your lips and stopped right before he got to your clit and smirked at you as you whimpered. Your pussy clenched around nothing and you tried to buck your hips up, but his free hand went to your hip and kept you planted on the bed.

He chuckled and tapped his cock against your clit once and pulled back again, clicking his tongue at your pathetic whine. “Who am I?”

You were so desperate to be fucked, desperate for him, that you answered him without thinking. “Daddy!” You cried, one hand clutching to his left arm and the other clutching at the sheets.

He rewarded you by circling the head of his cock against your clit then dragging it down to your entrance. You gasped as he started to slowly enter you, the head of his cock sinking into you so deliciously that you could cry from the pleasure he promised, only for him to pull his cock out again and instead had you crying from frustration. You garbled “fuck!” only had him chuckling again.

“What’s that? What do you want?” He asked as he continued to tease you by dragging his cock up and down your pussy again.

You looked up at him, tears leaving glistening trails down the side of your face, and bit your bottom lip once again, this time remembering what he wanted to hear. “Daddy!” You answered in another whine.

He grinned, in any other circumstance you’d say it was cute, but now it was just devious. “Yes?”

You groaned, needy and pathetic, as you pussy throbbed and ached for the fat cock that was just out of reach. “I,” you paused and whined as you tried to think through the fog of lust that clouded your mind. “Need you, Daddy. Please, Daddy, fuck me.”

Adrian moaned, squeezing his eyes shut as your needy little cry sent a lewd excited rush through him and straight to his cock, he couldn’t stop himself from bucking his hips forward even if he wanted to. His cock dragged across your pussy once again, drawing another needy moan from you, “ffuck. Since you asked so nicely.” His left hand steadied you in a solid grip while he used his right hand to line his cock up to your pussy.

He slid completely into you with a quick deep thrust, both of you moaning together. Unable to hold back, driven by the enticing wet heat and chasing the impossibly sweet grip of your pussy, Adrian rocked back and forth. He dropped to one arm, his other hand clutching your ass, and dropped sloppy kisses on your mouth, down your neck, your chest, back to your mouth.

You moaned and cried as Adrian stretched and filled you, gasping as he pulled out almost completely only to slam his hard and thick cock into you. You writhed beneath him and hooked your legs around his waist, heels digging into his lower back and pushing him even deeper into your pussy.

Even as he continued to fuck you, even as he moaned loudly above you as you shifted positions, he chuckled at the way you pulled him closer without using your hands, one still tangled in the sheets. He let go of your ass, his hand roughly running up your thigh, your stomach, groping at your tits before landing on your face, forcing you to look into his eyes again.

“Who do you belong to?” He asked between grunts, never stopping his thrusts, the sound of skin hitting skin, of his cock pulling out and into your pussy over and over, an echo to his words.

You whined, your pussy pulsing wildly around his cock and looked up at him. His brow was furrowed, teeth biting his bottom lip, and his eyes were darkened with lust and yet still somehow shining with love. He came home because he wanted to spend time with you, he started this because he wanted you to want him as much as he wanted you. The realization warmed your already heated core, sped up your already fast beating heart, and your already throbbing pussy squeeze around his dick even more. He moaned and rolled his eyes for a moment as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him flush against you.

“You. Daddy!” You moaned into his ear, earning a moan from him in return as he mercilessly pounded into you.

“Daddy!” You cried over and over, every cry rewarded with praise from him, until you were a moaning mess, unable to form words.

Your world dissolved into aspects of Adrian. His weight on you was a comfort like no other, his sweat slick skin against yours, his moans and grunts and panted breath was all you could hear (not even your obscene sounds could break through), and the way his pelvis hit your clit just right while his thick cock filled your pussy sent you over the edge. You cried out again as you orgasmed with tears streaming down your face and drool spilling from the corners of your mouth. Your entire body would be shaking but for the fact that he was pinning you down to the bed. His own orgasm followed even before your pussy stopped spasming around him, his thrust turning from erratic to slow as he finished inside of you. His growls and grunts dissolved into whimpers as your pussy continued to pulse around his cock, and his whimper turned to a hoarse chuckle as he finally stopped moving his hips.

After a few moments to catch his breath, Adrian pushed himself up just enough to kiss you. It was sloppy, but you could not find the strength to coordinate more. “That was good,” he smiled brightly at you as he cradled your face in his left hand. “I think you deserve a treat for that.”

You hummed and giggled at that, thinking he was going to get up and grab you a snack. Instead he dragged his right hand down your body, never one to miss a chance to grope at your breasts and give your nipples a little pinch. You arched into his touch, quiet little whimpers turning into a loud gasp as he pulled his cock out of your pussy and stuffed three thick fingers inside of you before his cum could leak out onto the bed. You moaned as the palm of his hand rubbed your clit while thrust his fingers in and out of you.

“Come on, cum for me again.”

And you did, body shaking without his weight to hold you down this time, your thighs squeezed around his hand, as your pussy squeezed around his fingers, but he roughly pushed your legs apart so he could watch as he slowly pulled his hand from you. His hand was soaked in your combined juices, he even curled his fingers a bit to gather extra, before bringing his hand to your mouth. He used his other hand to tilt your chin down, forcing your mouth open and putting his fingers in your mouth.

“Suck.” He demanded with a cocky grin.

You moaned around his fingers, at the slick salty invasion against your tongue. You sucked obscenely, cleaning his fingers, and nearly gagging as he pushed his fingers further into your mouth.

“Mmm, good girl.” He hummed as he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, strings of saliva coating his fingers now instead of cum.

Your pussy twitched at his praise, but you barely had time to gasp for a breath before his lips were on yours, tongue sliding into your mouth and against your own tongue as if he were trying to taste the combined essence that you swallowed from his hand.

He pulled away, grinning as you whimpered for him, and dropped another, soft and gentle, kiss against your neck, then your shoulder before he finally rolled onto his back. Without him hovering over you, you suddenly felt cold and a shiver ran down your spine. Adrian, ever attentive, noticed and wrapped an arm around you and pulled you against his chest. He was hot and sweaty and now that you weren’t fucking it felt a little uncomfortably sticky, but you relaxed in his embrace regardless.

As your breathing leveled out and your heart rate calmed down, you heard a familiar doggy whine. Oh! You looked up at Adrian, he had a relaxed goofy blissful look on his face as he too caught his breath.

“Daddy?” You started, voice a little hoarse.

He let out a faint chuckle and smiled as he looked at you, “yea?”

“You’re gonna get that, right?”

He looked confused for a second before he finally heard what you were talking about and sighed. “He can sleep there tonight!”

“He has to go out! I don’t want him peeing in his crate!”

“Fine.” Adrian grumbled and shifted enough to hover over you, “but I’m putting him back. No one else gets my spot, not even our puppy!”

…

After Adrian took care of the dog, and you cleaned up while he was out, you settled in bed, his arms wrapped around you from behind as he possessively held you close to him, with Birdie curled up next to you on your other side.

#adrian chase x reader #vigilante x reader #fuckofffluff

304 notes · View notes

idyllcy · 1 year

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the 52-hertz whale

Word count: 8.0k

Warnings: smut, trauma dumping

Summary: love is a choice, you suppose

Hajime Hinata never felt that he was neglected.

He grew up in a family; a family of three, specifically, and he never really felt the financial strain that other kids felt. He had the spare pocket change that most kids his age did, and he had parents. His family was one, perhaps. He doesn't think he has much to complain about when his parents weren't divorced. He had a relatively happy childhood, he thinks.

"Hinata," You fiddle with your fingers. "I know you're not the island's therapist... but I was wondering—"

Hinata welcomes your words that cut off his thoughts. He didn't want to overthink his family again. He has no reason to.

"Go ahead," He smiles. "Would you like to sit in the hospital?"

"Too scary," You pause. "Can we sit in one of our rooms instead?"

"Yours or mine?"

"I don't care," Your voice wavers. "I'm a bit overwhelmed, so maybe a walk instead? I need to sort it out; you can simply listen if you don't want to help."

"Of course," He smiles, following you as you start wandering. Hinata helps around the island with what he can, fixing pipes, lifting materials, even going as far as cooking on the days Teruteru goes a little insane. Hajime Hinata carries the weight of the entire island, so you don't like troubling him with things as simple as your thoughts. Yet, you find yourself staring at him more often, catching the way his brows furrow ever so slightly. He looks tired. Maybe he needed rest as much as you did. Hinata didn't have anyone to lean on without feeling guilty, so you suppose it's expected that the majority of the class acts first instead of him. It's nice to have other people help, even if they aren't aware of how much they are. Hinata takes off his shoes as he steps into the sand. Just yesterday, he was raking out the sharp objects from the sand. "So?"

"I was thinking," You pause. "Of my childhood."

"And?"

"I was a little overwhelmed, I suppose," You mumble. "I really have no reason to complain about it, you see."

Hinata stares at you, and you use a hand to push your hair back as the wind blows in your hair. You still, staring at the setting sun, heart heavy in your chest. Your lips form a pout, and Hinata reaches to ease the crease between your brows. You stare at him, biting your cheek as you do. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe, you should have just made up an excuse that didn't include trauma dumping on him. Maybe, you should've just—

"It's fine, you know?"

"I was thinking," You frown. "That I miss my best friend."

"Do you?"

"I also miss all the friends I cut off when I entered Hope's Peak," You mumble. "I cut them off because they were toxic for me, but I guess they thought I was stuck up and didn't feel I needed them anymore. They're all dead now, including my parents, yet I don't feel sad about it. Does that make me weird, Hinata?"

He shakes his head. "It depends on how you see it, but I'm sure there's a reason you aren't sad."

"Yes," You continue walking, eyes staring out at sea again. "But you see, I have no reason not to feel sad over the loss of my parents. I grew up with a loving mom and a dad that cheated but never was abusive. My mom made sure that I grew up educated, and my dad never backed out when I spent his card to the point of maxing out. I have no reason to hate them, yet I don't mourn for them at all. There's a bitterness, you see, but not sadness."

Hinata nods.

"But then again," You pause to stare at your stomach showing from the crop top. Reaching down to it, you squeeze the fat sticking out, and you chuckle. "I hated the skin that I sat in because of my mother."

In the distance, a seagull calls, and you step into the water, leaning down to pull the sand dollar out of the grains. Hinata steps next to you, staring at the fossil. Neither of you say a thing, and you grin. "That can go into my next story, granted I don't get sick of writing again."

Hinata turns to stare at you. "Did you hate your talent?"

"Yes," You hum, drying it off on your hip. "I despised the literature I created with my hands. I hated the worlds that were from my mind. I would stare at the documents and throw up all because I had overwritten during a period of time I should have been enjoying my life. I have nothing to complain about to my parents. It was my fault that I decided to go all in to get recruited, not because of them. I suppose I just wanted a way to save their marriage."

Hinata thinks that sounds familiar.

"I made it in," You pause. Hinata waits for the next line, but it never comes. Perhaps he had unconsciously hoped that your tale would play out differently from his. The child in his mind prayed that somehow, your tale would be better than his. Ah, he was having unrealistic thoughts again; Maybe he should have let the analyst talent stay with him; Maybe he hadn't matured that much. That wasn't good news.

In the distance, the wind blows against the trees, the ocean rising to your calf as you stare up at Hinata.

"And?"

"There is no and," You exhale, heart still heavy. "And then they divorced, and I never saw my dad ever again."

"Ah," Hinata mumbles. He presses a hand to your back, almost as if to try to comfort you. He should be better at this. Why isn't he better at this? "Are you..?"

"But that's not what matters," You drag Hinata out of the water. "What matters is that I feel nothing for my parents despite the lack of reason. My mom stayed with me throughout my years at Hope's Peak until the Tragedy. I have no reason to be so desensitized about them. The first person I killed when I became a remnant was my mom. Next was my dad, and then the rest is history." You stare at your hands, biting your bottom lip. "I found the answer."

"It is not the fact that you murdered them." Hinata pauses. "That much I can see."

"Is it not?" You grin at him. The breeze grows colder, and you glance at the palm trees. Five leaves. "I killed my parents with my bare hands, and then I recovered, but I never mourned. Did you see how devastated Teruteru was when he found out he killed his own mother? Sonia was mortified when she realized she destroyed her nation. The same holds for Akane and Nekomaru. I didn't feel anything when my memories were restored. I didn't even feel bad that I had killed my parents. I had been so insensitive when I brought it up that even Komaeda was worried."

Hinata holds his hand up for yours.

You give it to him.

He traces the lines in your palm, and he wonders if he should read them.

"Don't bother," You smile. "I've gotten it read before."

"Mm," He pauses. "Were you lonely?"

"Always," You mumble. "Were you? I remember you were an only child."

"Much more often than I like to admit." Hinata pauses. "What else?"

"Well," You mumble. "I remember my mom cursing about my dad when he wasn't home, and I remember my dad trying to explain to me that I'll understand when I'm older."

Hinata starts leading you back onto the road.

"He tried convincing me in the parking lot of a Home Depot that he had a reason to cheat." You mirror Hinata as he sits down on the bench. "I still don't get it."

"He had a reason, maybe," Hinata lets go of your hand. "But it was not justifiable."

"Yes," You grimace. "And part of growing up for me was the fact that I had to realize he did have a reason to cheat, but not one that could be justifiable. Instead of making a conscious effort to fix it, he just ran away from the problem. A relationship doesn't go a single way, so even when my mom was trying to fix the relationship, without my father cooperating, she was unable to fix it. Love is a choice, Hinata-kun."

Hinata stares at you. "Is that so?"

"I read that somewhere in high school," You brush the dried sand from your feet, pulling the sand dollar out of your pocket. "That is why arranged marriages last longer than willing ones. You can fall out of love for the same reason you can fall in love. The spontaniety of your lover can become recklessness in your eyes, and the smothering devotion they have for you can become suffocating. Love is a choice after you choose that person, perhaps. Is that desensitizing love?"

"No," Hinata slips his shoes on and bends down to brush the sand from your feet for you. "That is not, simply because if it was the case, then you would not see it in the people in love."

You smile as he slips your shoes on for you.

"If love were plainly emotion without choice, you would not see Sonia open her arms whenever she sees Gundham. Peko wouldn't have chosen to die instead of accidentally harm Fuyuhiko a second time. Kamukura wouldn't have chosen to place those flowers on Chiaki's desk. None of those choices would have been conscious if love were just an emotion." Hinata helps you up. "I would not be here listening to you after such a long day."

"I suppose," You grimace. "But you needed this just as much as I did."

He stares at you.

"You waited for me when I said I got in," You laugh dryly. "Did you think making it big would be able to save my parents' marriage? By getting into a fancy private school for the best of the best? If anything, it made it worse. My parents divorced three months into the semester on the day of thanksgiving. It was kind of funny."

"It shouldn't be."

"Yes," You grin. "But unlike your parents, mine split. I didn't feel hurt until I was sitting down and filling out paperwork for something, realizing that I don't have a father. That's when it kind of bites you, making you sit there and rethink your decisions. Then, Hinata, how about you?"

"Ah," Hinata stares at you, pausing. "I don't have much of a childhood to talk about."

"There has to be something," You tilt your head. "or else they would have no reason to sign your life away to a surgery."

"Well," He stares at you, unsure where to start. "It was fine, really, until I started to attend Hope's Peak."

You pat the empty bench. "Sit."

"Thank you," He pauses, face falling. "Then they just sort of... disappeared from my life."

"Is that so?" You lean forward to rest on your palm, staring at the trees ahead.

"They worked hard to be able to pay my tuition for the first year," Hinata chuckles. "And then... they couldn't afford a second year, but I wanted to attend a second year... so."

"You accepted the project," You exhale.

"Yes." He mumbles. "I don't remember much of the treatment other than the neurologist and psychologist. Kamukura's memories are blurry to me."

"Did it hurt?"

"They sedated me," He pauses. "Yeah."

You blink, lips pulled into a frown.

"Now you're frowning again."

"It's dehumanizing," You mumble. "A human made god was violated by its creators."

"My creators did nothing. Kamukura was used by the people he was made for."

"Youwere used by the people you trusted. That makes no difference." You stare at him. "It was still you who was used, and it was Kamukura who chose to sit there. He wasn't a human, unfortunately."

Hinata stares at you.

"But my parents loved me."

"So did mine." You pause. "Just because your parents loved you doesn't mean they couldn't harm you. Maybe their intention wasn't to hurt you, but surely they can still hurt people. A child isn't supposed to accommodate their parents when they are the younger one."

"I suppose, but—"

"There's no need to have a child to save a marriage. That's the weak way out. People who have children to fix their marriages are cowards. They focus all their attention on the child instead of the deteriorating relationship." You pause. "Distracting yourself from your own problems can only last for so long. But then again, human beings are complex, and I'm not Mi-chan, so it doesn't matter."

Hinata stares at you standing up, stepping out to the road, eyes closed. He pauses as you spread your arms out.

In the distance, the sound of the bedtime lullaby plays, and you spin along to Ibuki's music. It's calming, in a way. You're overcome with an unknown nostalgia each time the music plays, and you wonder if it used to be your lullaby. Your parents never sang or read you to sleep. You remember sprawling out on the bed with them, and you remember closing the lights at 12 when you were too tired to continue. You remember the low burn of your mom's desk light as she stayed up studying again, and you remember hating getting out of bed in the morning. You smell the oily sunny-side-up eggs as you stare at the moon, pretending you're still on that trampoline.

You still, realizing you've wandered too far from Hinata. He stands in the middle of the road, staring at you, hand out to reach you.

"Why are you standing there?"

"You look lonely."

"Well, get over here. You're calling and I'm receiving, right? There's no reason for you to be alone."

The moon stares in mild curiosity, wondering if she had seen this before. Perhaps she did. She dreamed of a sun that would touch her, yet she never questioned if the sun were lonely. The sun had no stars as the moon did, so perhaps he was. Well, not that it would worry over something as such. She stares down at the two of you, arms wrapped around each other. The warmth of the sun was enough to heal anyone, even the moon. So she supposed that you were being healed.

Hinata relishes in the coolness of your skin.

"Is that the only reason you called me out?"

"No," You let go of him as he does, and he takes a step back. "My real reason was to screw you over and force you to think over why you got here in the first place."

"I wanted to be an ultimate," He smiles amusedly.

"You? Or the inferiority complex your parents gave you?"

"Now you just sound like Mi-chan."

"That's what she does best," You shrug, starting back toward the rooms. "But she's right, you know? Was it you, or was it your parents? And then also... how can you heal it?"

"I have."

"But you do not process," You stare at the streetlight. "You built that with Souda's help. You water these roads when it gets dry here. You keep the pool together. You do everything around this island, Hinata-kun. You get no time to process things when you're so hyperfocused."

"Maybe."

"Also," You stretch your arms. "There's an unspoken pressure when you grow up alone."

"Maybe for you."

"For me!" You grin. "The unintended thought that my parents only have once chance to succeed plagues my mind daily, even with their death."

Hinata stops in front of your cottage. "Well?"

"Would you like to come in?" You blink up at him.

"Do you—"

"Yes. But it's up to you." You rock on your feet.

Hinata wants to, but the back of his mind tells him to rest.

"I'm going to go back," Hinata smiles.

"No worries!" You beam. "Rest well."

"Of course."

The moon makes way for the sun in the morning, and you blink lifelessly at the sun when you wake up. You feel like shit. Taking a walk at 8pm in the evening and walking in the cold ass ocean was not a smart choice. Maybe a warm shower will fix it? Who knows. You sit in the bath for a good moment, questioning your sanity. You'll stay in today.

It's half past three when Mikan comes in from a call. Hinata had created this weird communication device, and you were tired. Mikan would be quickest, her number being the only single-digit number. She checks your temperature and vitals, sighing when it's nothing more than a fever. It reminds you of when you were younger. You can't recall the last time you broke down with a fever. You thought you were taking care of yourself well.

"Um," Mikan helps you sit up, handing you the pills with water. "I also have liquid if you want..."

"It's fine," You mumble, taking the pills from her hand. They feel scratchy against your throat, and you cough once the water washes them down. "I just need to sleep it off, right?"

"Yes," She mumbles. "I'm so sorry!"

"No," You stare up. "That's on me for catching a fever again. Thank you."

"O-of course," She keeps the door unlocked as she leaves, and you fall back asleep. You're uncomfortable. Your whole body is freezing, yet you have two blankets on top of you. At times like this, you can't help but miss your mom. At least she had everything on hand and could tell when you were about to get sick. You don't remember the last time she had panicked over you, but you always remember the soup she made. Ugh, now you want some.

Sometime before the sun sets completely, the door opens again. You whimper at the breeze and pull the covers over you. The person walks around the room, opening the window, taking the finished soup from the bedside drawer, and turning on the water. You stay in a zone between consciousness and unconsciousness, and you whimper as they finally pull the covers off.

"Come on," You wrap your arms around their neck as you're lifted off the bed.

"I'm going to get you sick..."

"Doesn't matter."

"Wait," You squint at the figure and pause at the sight of Hinata. "I can bathe myself."

"I'm not going to violate you, if that's what you wanted to ask. I need to cool your skin down, and we don't have enough alcohol to wipe you down."

"My mom used to do that," You slur as he sits you in the tub. "She used to wipe be own with alcohol pads when I got sick."

Hinata turns the showerhead on, and you droop as he has the water run down your back.

Your eyes flutter from the warmth, and Hinata catches your head before you pass out.

"Sorry."

"I'll wash you, so don't worry about it."

You don't know how long you sit in the tub, but when your eyes open again, Hinata's sitting next to your bed, screwing at another piece of machinery. You turn your head to stare at him.

"Stop doing that."

"No."

"Stop tinkering with the old DS." You mumble. "You're not going to be able to load Chiaki on that."

"It's not to load her."

"It won't connect to internet."

"It will."

"You're like a child," You shift to stare back up at the ceiling.

"In a way, aren't you the same?"

"Yeah," You mumble. "The world hates children."

"Only those who don't understand the value." Hinata places the screwdriver down. "Chiaki was the one who called for Mikan."

"Thank you," You mumble into the air to no one in particular.

Your eyes flutter shut again.

When you wake up next, Hinata is eating dinner.

"I have your soup," He sets his bowl down on the drawer and helps you sit up.

"I'm not weak to that point." You mumble, but you don't fight him.

"I know," Hinata grabs your bowl, blowing on the spoon to cool the soup. "But it's what you need."

"What I want," You open your mouth and swallow as Hinata helps you drink. "Not what I need."

"What you need." Hinata mumbles. "Just like you had sat in my room until I woke up after the incidents."

"Which one?" You laugh dryly. "The one when the big TV fell on your head? The one where you almost cracked your head open and scared the shit out of everyone? The one where—"

"All of them," Hinata presses the spoon to your lips again. "Every single one of them, you took care of me like this."

"I know," You swallow. "Let me drink it myself."

"I'll hold the bowl," Hinata hands you the spoon, and you drink. Hinata's eyes stay fixated on your throat as you swallow. You're embarrassed. You're an adult now, for life's sake. You're supposed to take care of yourself when you're sick, not have someone else take care of you.

"What are we?"

Hinata stares at you.

"Unlabeled."

"Well no shit," You choke on the last syllable, and Hinata pats your back. "I'm asking for a reason."

"I don't know what we are," He stares at you. "You didn't give me a label either."

"Well," You pause. "vent buddies? No. We're not that. You're nothing like my other friend. I didn't want to fuck that friend."

"You want tofuckme?"

"Huh, I guess I've never told you," You stare into his soul. "Some days I think of you folding me in half over a restaurant table."

Hinata sputters at your straightforwardness as you lie back down in the bed.

"So what are we?"

"Mutual pining. That's the term, right?"

"You think about fucking me?"

"No." Hinata pauses. "Well, yes, but not the same way you do—"

"You want to get pegged?"

"Can you let me finish?" Hinata sighs. You bat your lashes at him, and he presses a hand to your forehead to check your temperature. "I don't, but there's a reason I'm always the one taking care of things in your room when it could be Souda fixing it."

"Ah," You stare at him, eyes wide. "You like me too."

"Sure." Hinata mumbles. "Now, go back to sleep. Your fever is reducing."

"That's good," You smile. "Does that mean we're dating?"

You don't hear Hinata's answer when you drift off.

Hinata stares at your resting form, and he glances at the clock on the wall. He could stay up the entire night, but you'd probably scold him for that. Well, not that it mattered. You'd be good to go in the morning. He has to go back to fixing the broken speaker in Komaeda's room that he left alone to sit with you. You seem drunk when sick. He finds that cute, he supposes.

The night passes as Hinata falls asleep in the chair, and you wake up to the male's head slipping. You slide a pillow between his neck and head and toss a blanket over him, heading off to shower. You feel better. You still feel like shit, but better. You'd have to thank him later. Hinata worked tirelessly around the island. He at least deserved someone who could take care of him.

You wonder, though, if he just wasn't hearing the call.

When you step out, Hinata's awake, staring at you owlishly.

"You know, it's a miracle you can control how aroused you get," You brush past him to change into actual clothes. Hinata takes the towel from you as he glances at your bare skin.

"I can't," He exhales. "I'm about to shower after you."

You cough, embarrassed. "You're gonna shower without me?"

"We can shower together next time," He ruffles your hair as he steps into the bathroom.

The sun's in the sky when you step out of the hut with Hinata. You stare up, holding a hand up to block the sun.

"A tropical storm is approaching in four days."

"You can smell it?"

Hinata pauses. "Well, kind of. It's also just from the storm patterns in the area."

"When's our next batch of supplies coming in?"

"This week," Hinata checks his phone, and you pause.

"We are..."

"We're dating," Hinata smiles. "We're dating now."

"Okay!" You yell, throwing fists into the air. "We're dating!"

"We're dating." Hinata imitates your fists.

You beam at him. "We're dating."

There's something strange about living with others. You don't remember the last time it felt like you lived with someone other than yourself, and you struggle to remember there are two people in the hut now. You stare at Hinata each morning, your stomach churning at the sight of him all vulnerable next to you. You could kill him if you wanted to. You could press a blade to his neck and wreak havoc on the island like a proper writer. You could learn so much just from a single person.

But your stomach churns for another reason.

You don't deserve Hinata.

You sit in bed each morning, staring at Hinata, counting the freckles on his face as the sun rises from the east, heart heavy, wondering when Hinata's going to realize you're a bad person. You sit there counting the acne on his back, counting the number of times you've messed up around him. You love Hinata like the moon loves the sun, but you could never have him for yourself. It feels heartbreaking to know that you didn't deserve someone like him. You were nothing compared to the ultimate hope. You wrote stories for a living, overthinking like it was your job. You think of every possibility, never leaving one behind. The only difference was you wrote them into stories.

"Good morning." You smile as Hinata smiles at you.

"Good morning." He presses a kiss to your hand. "Ready to start the day?"

"Yeah."

It cycles, you think. You wake up earlier than Hinata, stare out the window, cycle through those vicious thoughts, and then forget about everything when Hinata presses a morning kiss to your skin. Some days, you lie awake in bed, heart heavy with melancholy. You miss your friends. You miss the people who did everything in their power to make sure you were alright and safe. Maybe you shouldn't have cut them off when you needed to work on yourself.

"You're thinking again," Hinata hands you a coffee from the vending machine. "What's up?"

"Coffee at 9?"

"It's hot chocolate."

"I hope it tastes like the ones from Starbucks," You mumble, pressing the metal to your lips.

"You're thinking again." Hinata sits next to you on the bench.

"Missing my old friends," You open your mouth, only closing it when you realize you don't have the right words. "I miss a handful of them."

"I'm sure you do." Hinata smiles. "That's normal."

"Maybe," You pause. "But I don't miss any of them. I miss every single toxic friend in my life that I've ever made. I miss the people that cut me out too."

"Did you do something wrong?"

"Plenty of things," You laugh bitterly. "So many things."

Hinata stares at you. "Did you ever apologize?"

"No." You exhale, sinking into the bench. "I never had the humility to do it."

Hinata opens his mouth to speak. "Well—"

"Aren't I such a bad person?" You smile at him. "I bullied people as a child, never apologized to them, killed my parents, and cut so many innocent people out of my life. I left my friends, tricked everyone into thinking I'm a good person, and now I even tricked you into dating me. I truly am incredible. I'm such... a bad... person..."

Hinata takes your hand into his, drawing gentle circles. "Do you think I'm unable to tell good from bad?"

"No," You grimace. "I just... not worth it."

Hinata draws little shapes on your palm, smiling affectionately at your hand as he does. "I once read that love is a choice."

He's using your words against you.

"You choose the people you stay with, even if it isn't in a romantic relationship." Hinata taps your palm twice. "That is what love is. Choices."

Behind you, the waves crash against the rocks, and Hinata continues.

"It was a choice to love you, and it was a choice to stay with you even after hearing everything you've told me. I am in love with you as much as someone can be in love with someone." Hinata presses your fingers to his lips. "You like this, right?"

Your eyes are still distant.

"Do I have to fuck you to convince you that you're worthy?"

You shake your head. "There's no need for that. You couldn't possibly think of—"

Hinata bites your fingers with his canines, staring you in the eye as he does.

"That's weirdly out of character."

"Aaaand there goes the tension." Hinata takes your fingers out, laughing along with you.

"You don't need to fuck me," You stand up, stretching your arms. "for me to feel loved."

"You want it, though."

"Sure." You stare at the speakers. "Maybe another day."

"Maybe during the storm?"

"Yeah," You turn to stare at him. "Definitely during the storm. By that time, I'll be able to scream all I want!! I'll get to cry abt howgoodyour dick is, and how you're the only one who can split me in—"

"That's enough," Hinata covers your mouth with his hand, ears burning. "I'll keep that in mind when you actually get fucked."

"Hoaw bigh arhe you," You speak against his palm, and he stares at you.

"You'll find out eventually."

Hinata walks you home, slowly, maybe. The two of you share a home now. Your home is as much of a home to him as it's a home to you. You still wonder if you tricked him into falling for you. You're not someone particularly special, still. Your talent is useless on this island, even if you knew a million things in theory. What use are you if you like putting things off? God, it's just like when your mom made you retake your exams so you'd get a better score, but you only ended up scoring the same.

"Talk it out."

"It's just a fleeting thought." You pause in place. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"I still want to hear it," Hinata pauses with you.

"I was thinking about. I was thinking about my last year at Hope's Peak."

"Mhm?"

"And how my inner child was never satisfied." You pause. "Even though she was spoiled with whatever she wanted. She lacked love."

"Did she?"

"So she was stuck staring at herself in the mirror, asking if she was the problem. She's not, I don't think so, but I understand why she would think that." You pause. "I was lazy for refusing to take the AP tests that would send me to the United States during college. I don't regret it, but I suppose I would've liked an apology from my mom."

Hinata frowns when you exhale.

"But the past is the past, and they aren't things worth mulling over."

"But they are things that you need to process."

"The only thing I can figure out right now is that I'm almosthappymy mom died."

Hinata chuckles. "That's not good."

"definitely! but I... my mom never really felt like my mom after I moved the first time. You watch your family fall apart, and you wonder if maybe you were the reason."

"Yeah," He pauses. "I wondered that too. But that's not the case."

"Definitely!" You clasp your hands together. "But that's only myfamilytrauma. I have plenty of tangled emotions when it comes to friends as well."

"Wanna talk?"

"I want sleep." You start back up, pulling Hinata along. "You better fuck me until I'm braindead when the storm hits."

"Why so?"

"So I can forget about my first love instead of processing it."

Hinata chuckles as you pull him along. "Will do."

When the sun sets to make way for the moon, your mind goes back to the past, wandering, thinking, praying, crying for some way to be able to change something. You wanted to cut people out earlier. You wanted to kill yourself. You wanted to do so many things, yet you never did a single one. Maybe everything could have been avoided if you had just stabbed yourself in the neck like you wanted to.

On other days, you brace yourself for when Hinata's going to break up with you. It should be exhausting to date you, you think.

When the storm hits, you ignore all warnings and step out into the rain, soaking from head to toe. You stare at the clouds above, heart strangely calm. Hinata would beat you if he were with you, you think. Well, maybe not beat. He'd definitely be worried. You're tired of a lot of things. You miss no one and nothing, and you no longer have a purpose in life. Maybe your next goal would be to get married and settle down, but you couldn't possibly fathom getting married. It was another thing, perhaps.

"There you are," Hinata holds the umbrella over the two of you, and you stare at him.

"I'd like to stay in the rain."

"I'll stay with you, then," He stands to the side as you run down the cement, and he follows behind as you throw your shoes off to feel the sand between your toes. He holds them in his free hand as you spin and sprint through the sand. It feels strange to him, but you have your reasons. You're soaked from head to toe, laughter louder than anything he's heard before, and he wonders if this was just another part of you.

"It's like washing away all your worries."

"The rain?"

"Yes."

Hinata stares at you fondly under the slams of the water from the sky, and he wonders if this could wash you off incredibly quickly. Maybe you'd feel better after the rain. Well, the two of you would have to shower. The rain was cleaner, sure, but it still wasn't clean. The acid spills from the tragedy are still hard to clean up, and sure, the earth is damaged beyond repair, but it's liveable. Hinata's seen more than enough plants sprout to know that earth is still inhabitable. But that was just humankind, he supposes: finding a way to live even on the brink of destruction.

You lie down in the sand, and Hinata steps close to you, staring down at you.

"Feel better?"

"Yes," You smile.

"Let's get back before the storm gets even worse."

"Will it?"

"Yes," Hinata holds the umbrella over your head, handing you the shoes. "We need to be inside at that point. I scheduled an announcement."

"Alright," You stand up, slipping your feet into the sandals, "Can we fuck?"

"After you shower."

"Can we fuck in the shower?"

Hinata sighs, dragging you along. "Let's warm you up first before you think about fucking."

"Alright," You hold onto his upper arm as he holds the umbrella, and the two of you go home.

☾﹠☽

"I wonder how you don't get hard," You close your eyes as Hinata's nails dig into your scalp to clean. "Do you not think I'm hot?"

"If you had to sit through how many times I get hard from you in a day, I think you'd think differently." Hinata feels the showerhead for temperature before he runs the water down your head.

"Really?"

"Yeah," He holds a hand to avert the bubbles from your eyes. "Right?"

You jolt as Hinata presses your back to his chest, and your eyes widen at the feeling.

"You're hard!"

"Yeah," He hums, changing the showerhead setting. Once the bubbles are out of the way, he holds you close to him by the thigh, pressing the showerhead at your clit, causing you to squeak.

"A-ah," You sputter. "What's— huh? It feels—"

Hinata chuckles lowly next to your ear, your legs twitching from the pressure. You wonder if Hinata is doing this to get back at you.

"You," You gasp. "Asshole!"

"You wanted this."

Your nails dig into his wrist as he leans closer, hooking an arm under your knee to hold you up as your legs give out. His other hand holds the showerhead to your clit, forcing the water pressure to hit you. The coil in your stomach tightens as your head is thrown back onto Hinata's shoulder as you feel something coming. Your voice wavers as he bites into your collar, and your nails leave marks as your orgasm crashes down on you.

Hinata lowers the pressure of the water, and he presses a gentle kiss to the bite mark before putting the showerhead back up. You lean against his frame, and he lowers your leg slowly.

"I hate you," You whimper, legs shaking.

"Stay still. I still need to condition your hair."

You reach behind you to smack him as he does, and Hinata purses his lips in amusement once you retract your hand.

"Close your mouth," He hums. "You're going to get the conditioner in your hair."

"You're as hard as a rock!"

"Which part?" You can hear the smirk in his voice.

"Your chest," You rub your knuckles as Hinata finishes with your hair. "I keep forgetting you're built like a boulder."

Hinata chuckles.

"Sit down," You turn around, forcing Hinata to his knees.

"Gonna sit on me?" You stare at him, forcing him on his ass, straddling him.

"Maybe later." You reach for the shampoo, nails digging into Hinata's scalp. "Is it too rough?"

"No." Hinata's eyes are closed as you continue. "You know, I miss life before Hope's Peak sometimes."

"Mhm," You hum, reaching for the showerhead.

"My middle school years were nice. My parents got along back then." He tilts his head back as you press the showerhead to his hair. "Though, I still felt like I wasn't enough since my parents were both ultimates."

"What were they?"

"A ballroom dancer..." Hinata opens his eyes to look at you. "and a theologist."

"Awful pairing," You pause. "Though I can see how they would work."

"They didn't work. They were both hot after surgery, and then they gave birth to me."

"You're hot, though?"

"Maybe to you." Hinata chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist. "But remember, I was just some guy before I was operated on."

"Still hot, though," You mumble, squirming as Hinata rests his hands on your waist. "It's not like they changed your bone structure or your face. Unless they did, and I didn't know."

"If they did that then they'd have to rewrite all the plans," Hinata reaches behind him to turn the water on.

You kneel up, hand reaching for his cock, pressing the tip to your pussy.

"You want to go raw?"

"They sent us plan b this time around," You blink at him for confirmation.

"Not yet," Hinata moves you onto your back, closing the water behind him. He runs his thumb down your labia, sliding a finger in slowly. Your breath hitches as he does, and Hinata presses a gentle kiss to your clit. You shudder at the feeling, and Hinata glances at you. "This is alright, right?"

"Yeah," You mumble. "Embarassed, but fine."

"Good," Hinata slides a second finger in, pressing on your walls. You squirm and pulse around him, and Hinata spreads your labia with his fingers, pressing his tongue plat against you. His fingers curl inside you as you pull on his hair, and he finds a pattern that gets you arching your back. Your mind hazes as he does, and you whimper, mouth open. Your heel digs into his back as you cum, and Hinata pulls his fingers out slowly, staring at the way your cum connects his fingers to you. His dick twitches at the sight. "How lewd."

You smack him playfully, face warm with embarrassment.

"Now," Hinata mumbles. "You should be wet enough."

He sits back as he pulls you to him. You get on your knees again, and you sink down slowly. Hinata presses his fingers into your waist, biting his bottom lip as you lower yourself. You choke once you take all of him in."Ah, fuck, you're big.Gimme a minute,ahto adjust, please."

Hinata rubs gentle circles on your waist as you squirm. He's thick.

You're glad he got you wet beforehand, but you wonder if you'd actually get split in half from his cock. You pulse around Hinata from the thought. "Mhm." You exhale finally. "You're big."

"Am I?"

"Very," You wrap your arms around his neck. "You're really hot too."

"Well," Hinata reaches behind him to turn off the water, and you squeal as he lifts you. Your legs wrap around his waist instinctually, and he sighs. "If you really say so." He adjusts your arms over his shoulders and holds a hand under your ass to support you.

"Are we going to bed?"

"I'm going to fuck you stupid," He leans in next to your ear. "And you're going to be screaming louder than the storm outside, and everyone's going to hear how much of a whore you are for me." You clench around him, and Hinata hums. "You like it."

"Mhm," You're practically drooling at this point. His eyes follows yours to where the two of you are connected, and a smirk graces his face.

"What do you want me to do, sweetheart?"

You stare up at him, eyes wide. "You can't be serious."

"Hm?"

"Hinata, please."

He stares down at you. "Nothing? I can pull out right no—"

"No!" You tighten your arms around his shoulder. "I want... I want you to fuck me."

"Come on, use your words."

"I want you to fuck me stupid," You stare at him, desperate. "Rail me so good and pump me so full that the plan b won't even work. Please, please,please."

"There you go," He smiles. "Good job, precious."

You gasp as he pulls out and thrusts back in, and you shake as he finally places you in bed.

His thumbs dig into your hips as he holds your legs over his shoulders, folding you into the bed. You gasp as he forces himself deeper into you, and you grab at the sheets, knuckles turning white as he starts thrusting. Your lips part, words turning into incomprehensible noises. His cock's making it hard to think. Your mind blurs as you lay there, and your gasps turn sharp as you feel your stomach tightening again. There's no way he was making you cum this fast.

"S-slow down," You gasp, nails digging into the sheets. "'s, 's too much!"

"You can take it, right? I know you can, sweetheart." Hinata mumbles into your ear, and he hisses as you cum around him. He presses a kiss to your jaw, mumbling sweetly into your ear, "You're so good for me, right? Look at you, listening so well for me. I think you deserve a little reward, hm?"

You move your arms to warp around his neck, and Hinata smiles.

"You're so pretty," You mumble, whimpering as Hinata slides out slightly.

"Am I?"

"Gorgeous," You gasp as Hinata bounces you on his cock again, and you grimace from how sensitive you are. Your mind blanks, and you barely register what you're saying, even if Hinata understood. "Pretty, so pretty... you're so dazzling... hic, Hajime! hot... perfect! I,mm, don't think I could,hah, live with—out you!"

Hinata chuckles, smiling gently.

"Is that so?"

"MhM!" Your head digs into the crook of his neck, and you bite. "My pretty Haji."

Hinata hisses from the feeling of your teeth, and his thrusting grows erratic as he gets closer. "You're pretty too, precious. You're so good for me, you know? You're always there in the morning when I wake up, and you're always waiting for me to open up. God, you're gorgeous, you know?"

You whine as you clench around him harder.

"Only you, darling." Hinata digs his fingers into your waist as you cum, sending Hinata over the edge as well. His hips dig into yours, and he bites into your neck, you whimper into his neck, and Hinata sets you into the bed gently, almost as if handling a newborn.

Your eyes droop as Hinata leaves to grab the towel to wipe you down.

"Do you have energy to shower?"

"After four orgasms?" You stare at him.

"I'll carry you back. You're going to feel disgusting in the morning."

"Alright," You yawn, leaning on Hinata as he hooks his arms under your back and knees. "Can I suck your tits next time?"

Hinata chokes. "Really?"

"Really." You mumble. "Sorry for making you shower twice."

"Don't be," He smiles. "I wouldn't have gone along if I didn't want to."

"Mmk," You close your eyes. "You know, Hinata, I think I know what you are now."

"You didn't know what I was?"

"You're average," You grin, reaching up at him once he sets you in the water. "You're the most painfully average guy I know."

"Still?"

"No, you're average in the perfect way. In the end, perfect still suffers, so I suppose you're just as average as some superhuman can get," You lean on his chest as he rubs the bubbles down your back. "I wonder how we're dating."

"Because you're beautifully average in your own way," Hinata hums, the vibrations traveling down your skin. "You're just any other student on this island, and your background is what sent you here with the rest of us, right?"

"I suppose," You smile.

A silence covers the two of you as Hinata finishes washing you, and you sit back as you watch him scrub himself. You feel safe in this small hut. You missed the feeling of warmth spreading through your chest. Hinata was your home now. Just as he had chosen to stay when you were sick, you had chosen to stay with him. Hajime Hinata loved you vivaciously. His hands were warm on your skin, and his hands were warm holding onto yours. Hajime Hinata was the embodiment of the sun as you had adored him to pieces as the moon. Maybe he had heard you call. Perhaps the way he stood in front of you was proof of it.

You stretch your arms out as Hinata helps you into a robe, and you yawn. "Hinata, have you ever seen a whale?"

"In person?" He helps you close the robe.

"Yea." You hum.

"No," Hinata ties the belt around your waist and ties his own. "Do you want me to carry you?"

"No," You follow him as he leaves the bathroom, and he helps you into the bed. Pulling the covers over you, he pulls the string to turn the master light off. Sliding into bed next to you, he closes the lamp. You stare at the way his pecs peek from behind his robe. Next time.

"You know," You blink, realizing your exhaustion. "I once read about a whale who kept calling but never got an answer."

Hinata rolls on his side, tracing mindless circles on your skin. "The 52 hertz whale?"

"Yea," You hum. "It got a friend recently according to marine biologists."

"Really?"

"Another whale called back," You smile, rolling onto your side to smile at Hinata.

Hinata wraps his arms around you, eyes closing as he breathes in your skin. You're cool against his skin, and he welcomes the feeling.

"Thank you for responding," You mumble, eyes closing.

"Thank you for calling." He smiles, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your eye. "Good night, love. I'll see you in the morning."

"Sweet dreams, pretty boy." You lean into his chest. "Love you."

"Love you too."

#hajime hinata x reader #hajime hinata #hajime x reader #hinata x reader #sdr2 x reader #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa #☾.nsfw #☾.fics

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julieloves074 · 2 years

Text

Your Dance (Jeremiah Fisher x Y/n)

Summary: A Debutante Ball isn’t exactly what Y/n had in plac this summer but in the end she got to dacne with her Prince Charming

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, cancer, death, drinking, angst, fluff, sadness, happy ending

Words: 15K

(Not my GIF :) )

My mom died of cancer I was very little, when I was 5, and my dad was nowhere to be found, thankfully aunt Laurel was more than welcoming to me. She treated me like one of her own, I lived with her and my two cousins which also meant I got to spend every summer at Cousins beach with the Fishers.

“Hey let me control the music for once!” Belly screamed in the back of the car, Steven and I had finally found a few songs we both liked so we kept the cord from her and I think Laur was thankful.

“When you have your own car we’ll talk” Steven said proudly.

“This isn’t even your car, it’s mom’s” she answered back and I burst into a laugh, she wasn’t wrong, we all just used Laurel’s car.

“Whatever, whenever you pass your driving test then we’ll talk” he adapted his sentence and this time no one could argue his case.

Bells didn’t try for the aux chord after that, we weren’t far from the summer house anyway. It was already in the air though, the smell of the ocean, the noise of the seagulls, and then finally: the house.

My heart jumped an extra few times whenever that house came into view, the only place I ever felt like I belonged but also the house where sometimes feeling like an outsider was inevitable. I pushed the second thought aside when I saw the blonde curly haired boy that sat on the front stairs. The door behind him wide open, he has been waiting for us just like he does every year. Conrad used to too, but he was being really off with everyone recently.

Him and I were always close, just like Belly and Jeremiah, that’s just the way it was, we told each other secrets no one else knew. Why? I don’t know it just kind of always clicked, but as the years passed by he distanced himself, and all I could do was respect his wishes. That’s when Jeremiah and I started to hang out a lot more, the summer his mom got sick was hard on everyone but I think Jere found a rock in me since that’s how I lost my mom too.

“They’re here!” I could hear Jere shout as Seven parked, I was first out of the door, he ran towards me like a mad man, his arms flew around me and he lifted me up into a spin.

“Finally you’re here!” He said into my hair which made me hold onto him tighter, I’m sure he had meant ‘us’ plural, the Conklins, but who said I couldn’t pretend that was meant for me and only me?

When he put me down I couldn’t help but look into his ocean blue eyes, and his now muscular body, he did say he was going to the gym but I wasn’t expecting this level of commitment. When his eyes met mine his lips pulled into a smirk, not that I was looking at his lips, I just noticed it in the corner of my eyes.

The charm was disenchanted when Belly jogged towards us and Jere ran to give her a bear hug.

“Look who’s all grown up?” He admired her with a huge smile, I guess that was true, I saw Belly every day, so she still looked the same to me as she always has but thinking back on last summer she really has flourished.

“Y/n my love come give me a hug!” That kind, carefree voice pulled me out of my thoughts, I walked in her direction fast, she wore another of her stunning sundresses, and her iconic sunglasses in her hair.

“Susannah! How have you been?” I asked, her fingers brushing down my hair,

“I’ve been missing you! I’m still upset that you didn’t come see us last month” she expressed. I was supposed to come visit Susannah in Boston last month to work on a charity event that was taking place this summer but one of my exams was moved to that week, I would have missed it but it equated to twenty-five of my grade for the year.

“I know, I was so angry when they moved the exam later, but I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to talk about all that stuff now that we’re here” I hugged her back.

“Beck get your ass over here and give me a hug!” Laurel called out from somewhere behind me. I wasn’t ready to let Susannah go- not yet.

“I do have a surprise for you later” she whispered in my ear before letting me go, her smile bright and I can’t shake off the sparkle in her eye. I nodded and grinned back at her.

Conrad had come out now too, “Y/n hey you alright?” He asked giving me a quick hug before jogging over to Steven.

After all our introductions, the moms went inside and it was time…

“BELLY FLOP!” Steven screamed and they all chased Belly, finally Conrad managed to grab onto her, they carried her all the way to the pool. I’ve always left them to it, even though they didn’t start doing this until she turned 6, on my second summer at Cousins it still felt like it wasn’t really my place.

I didn’t let that ruin the mood though, I followed shortly throwing my phone onto one of the lounge chairs, and rushing over to the pool side, I watched Belly pull Conrad in. Then I had an idea, the two other boys didn’t notice me behind them so I rushed into them and tackled them, “Welcome Summer!” I yelled, all of us ending in the pool laughing.

Steven poked his head out chocking out some water.

“Breathe Steven, we’re not dragging you to the bonfire in a hospital bed” I laughed, Jere came up from under the water, pushing his curls back with his hands, a cheeky grin covering half his face.

“Y/n/n come here right now,” he chucked coming towards me.

“I don’t think I want to!” I laughed going to turn away.

“Y/N RUN!” Belly shouted to me, I did as she said trying to push my way through the water to the other side of the pool, he swam after me though, grabbing me by my legs and dragging me down, I yelped before resurfacing.

“Payback,” he said and I splashed him with water, “Wow this how you treat me on your first day here, where has the attitude come from huh?” he was being sarcastic so I just rolled my eyes at him, “See I thought you’d run into my arms and beg me to kiss you now that I’ve got my new bod,”

“Don’t say bod ever again,” I cringed at his choice of wording.

“Whatever I know you’re madly in love with me anyway,” he said just brushing me off, I had to stop myself before I continued, my heart and head were in a conflict. My heart blocked out my logical thinking- I wanted nothing more than to kiss him then and there and yet my head knew this was just Jeremiah Fisher, biggest flirt of Cousins Beach.

“Whatever, you’ve got to accept that not everyone is obsessed with you Jere” I said finally, pretending not to care.

“Aw no, come on turn that frown upside down as mom says,” he smiles moving towards me again, using his fingers to lift the corner of my mouth into a smile, his eyes on my lips, my eyes scanning his whole face. “There much better, that’s what I like see,” then he looked back up to my eyes and I couldn’t help but smile for real, how could I not? It was Jeremiah. I don’t know how I wasn’t blushing like crazy.

“This summer is going to be so good,” he said swimming away from me slowly on his back, looking up as if he was imagining all the things that were going to happen, this is when I realised that everyone had gone back inside, I could see them all in the kitchen.

“Summers here are always good,” I replied making my way to the edge, splashing some more water on my face, hopefully cooling myself down.

“Yeah it’s my favourite time of the year,”

“Because you get to spend with meeeeee?” I asked sarcastically.

“Well I was going to say because the moms are too busy to pay attention to me so I get away with pretty much everything but-” he said swimming over.

I opened my mouth, fake offence hanging wide, “Huh- I see how it is Fisher,” I turned away getting out the pool.

“Hey-!” He got out behind me and jogged towards me laying an arm around my shoulder, “You know I’m kidding right?”.

I looked up to him, “You should be glad I like Susannah otherwise I would beat your ass,” I say confidently,

He chuckles and frows his brows, “Even if you didn’t like my mom- which is impossible- you would still beat my ass and she would probably cheer you on, she loves you more than any of us I swear to God,” I laughed back, it was true I did love her and she would be my number one supporter, I remember when we had a fake fighting competition in the living rooms one of the days when I was ten. She was cheering for her sons but when I came onto our DIY rink it was my name she called.

We walked like that towards the house, when we got to the glass doors Jere was about to step in before Laurel stopped him, “You’re not walking like that into your mother’s house you’re not, the floor’s have just been cleaned!” she expressed with a stern face.

“Could you possibly be able to get us towels then?” He pulled a puppy face, curling his lips and batting his eyelashes, he was so childish, but it was so cute even Laur couldn’t resist him- or it was because she really cared about these floors. Now that I’m thinking about it was probably the latter.

He didn’t take his arm away until my aunt passed us towels, then Suze rushed us to get changed for dinner, his room was right next to mine on one side of the corridor, on the other side of mine was Con’s and next to his was Steven’s, poor Belly had her room on the mom’s side of the house.

I didn’t put on anything fancy, just something nice enough for dinner and comfortable enough for the bonfire afterwards.

At the dinner table we all had our set seats, always have, Con and Susannah were at the heads of the table, I sat next to Susannah with Jere opposite me, Belly next to me across from Steven and Laurel sat next to her.

“So, I have a little bit of a surprise for the girls,” Susannah announces a little into the meal, Belly and I immediately turn towards her.

“No Beck how many times have I got to tell you- you don’t have to keep getting them anything-” Laurel expressed.

“Ow stop it- stop it! Don’t be silly,” she said getting up and going to open one of the draws, pulling out two small envelopes. My brows furrows together and a nervous smile snook it’s way onto my face. Belly looked beyond excited.

“Here you go,” she said handing Belly her’s first then mine. My eyes my Jere’s for a second in a questioning manner he just shrugged. By the time I managed to look back down at my envelope Belly had torn into hers and her eyes were sparkling.

“Wow Susannah this-” she started, then I looked down at the note. This was an invitation to be debutante at this year’s debutante ball, I took a deep breath before meeting a few eyes around the table, the last ones I focused on were Susannah’s- she looked so hopeful. Don’t get me wrong I loved a good chance to get dressed up and party but being a deb?

Susannah must have seen the seen the cogs turning in my head because she said, “Please at least consider it… for me?” Her voice pleading.

“Beck those things are expensive I’m not sure-” Laurel started before getting cut off.

“Like I said I this is on me don’t let Laurel sway your decisions, have a sleep on it and then we can talk at breakfast,” she announced confidently, it was going to be as she said it, no one dared to interfere with her.

“Please tell me you’re not actually considering this Deb ball thing,” Jere laughed on the way to the bonfire, Con was the designated driver for the night but I wanted to talk there, it was a beautiful night, the air wasn’t too stuffy and the stars were gleaming tonight. I wanted to take it all in, the sight, the smell, the feeling of the gentle breeze on my skin, naturally Jeremiah volunteered to go with me, the moms would not let me go alone.

“Why not?” My voice turned a little defensive, I didn’t turn to look at him, during the summer I was a lot more laid back then during everyday life, I would almost be one of the guys but I did like some girly things too which Jere seems to forget.

“You’re not like them, dressing up in those ridiculous dresses to impress some crowds,” he brushed the whole idea off.

I didn’t want to argue with him on the first night so I let it slide, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do but seeing Susannah’s excitement and hope was enough to convince me to do just about anything. I changed the topic of the conversation.

We arrived at the party fast, time flies when you walk and talk, Con and Steven were already there, and… Belly? She was sat next to some guy with dark curly hair, I don’t want to interrupt because she looked like she was having fun so I looked at my phone, I was going to message her but I saw a message waiting for me:

I’m at the party, please don’t get mad and tell mom! I’m just catching up with a friend and not drinking!!!! Ok love you!!!!

I laughed at the text and Jere looked over my shoulder to read it. “Laurel is going to kill her when she gets back, she doesn’t even know Belly’s here,” he explained.

“Yeah and then I’ll get in trouble for not telling her,” I continued the train of thought, he shook his head.

“Don’t be a party pooper, look she’s fine! Plus Con will probs have his hawk eyes on her like he always does and if something goes wrong- which it won’t- we blame it on Steven,” he laughed taking my hand and leading me into the heart of the party.

“Deal,” I said making my way to get some drinks, Jere was already getting in some conversation with a group of girls and I did not want to witness anymore of Gigi’s desperate flirting, like that boy has hooked up with more than half of the people our age in Cousins, if he wanted to get with her he would have done it by now. Then I felt a bit of a stab in my stomach, I don’t know whether that was meant for her or myself. I can’t recall when I started feeling this for Jere I mean he was just my best friend but I knew I had to shut the feeling down.

“You look stunning,” someone said, I turned to my left, it was Noah, at first I turned around thinking he was speaking to someone else, “Yes I meant you Y/n” he laughed and then pulled me into a hug. Noah was quite a close friend of Con’s so I knew him quite well, he had even kissed me once in a game of spin the bottle. Then last year we went out a few times because I couldn’t handle Jeremiah going out with different girls all the time. It made me feel horrible though, like I was using Noah. He was a lovely boy, he deserved to have everything with a girl, so we didn’t speak much after the summer.

“Thank you Noah, you don’t look too bad yourself- how have you been?” I asked taking him all in, he had grown a little taller, probably Con’s height, and his hair had grown out to a perfect length, and he had abs… he wasn’t wearing a shirt which was pretty distracting but I worked hard to keep my eyes trained on his face.

“Yeah I’ve been good, it’s great to see you- I’ve missed you over the year,” he said, I wasn’t sure whether he as just saying that for the sake of it but he sounded sincere enough, “I still wonder why you wanted to cut stuff off so abruptly last summer,” he said picking up his own drink, “Was there someone else?” he didn’t seem angry or annoyed just genuinely interested.

My throat dried up a little and for a second I wasn’t sure what white lie to use, “I just wasn’t sure what I wanted, summer was ending and we both have lives outside of Cousins if you know what I mean,” I ran my hand through my hair making it fall back onto my face, framing around my eyes, a certain blonde with blue eyes appearing in the forefront of my mind.

“Do you wanna like sit down, catch up a bit?” he asked pointing towards the sand a little closer to the water, I turned to Jeremiah automatically, he had his arm around two girls and he was smiling biting his bottom lip, his eyes on the girl’s to the left lips, with my best happy face I nodded to Noah.

We talked for what felt like hours, and we just kept drinking, taking turns to go get more for the both of us, it was Noah’s turn when I looked at my phone it had just hit midnight, brushing the hair out my face again I scanned the crowd finding Belly easily still sitting talking to that boy, wearing a hoodie that I’ve never seen before, Con was sat with a girl who was wearing a red cap but his eyes escaped to look at Bells every few seconds, they’re both oblivious twats. Then there was Jere slow dancing with a short haired brunette, keeping her close and cozy. I would have stared at them forever if Noah hadn’t brought me back to reality.

“This is nice huh? Listen I’m going to be honest, I want to give us another go, maybe if you’d be up for it? I only live an hour and a bit away from your actual house and I can always drive if we wanted to make us work,” his eyes lit up when they met mine, I’m unsure whether it was because the moon had found the perfect place or because he was hopeful I’d say yes.

I wasn’t expecting that to come out of tonight, It would be so easy to fall back into this routine, letting my heart race for the Fisher boy but escaping to Noah when the heartache became too big to carry anymore. That would mean I was using him and that wouldn’t be fair on him, unless I finally got over my silly little crush on Jere, which by the looks of it I really needed to.

I stared out into the water, there was small waves hitting the sand, the reflection of the moon was gleaming in the night sky, “Hey,” he said resting his fingers on my chin and making me look towards him, “if you don’t want to just say, but I just needed to get it off my chest, we could just try it, if you’re still not feeling it in a few days then we can stop,”

I opened my mouth to say something when I heard gasps behind me, naturally I strained to look at what had happened- there I was Belly on the floor and Conrad aiming his fists at some guy’s face, I flashed my eyes back to Noah.

“Sorry,” I said before standing up and running towards Belly, some girl from the country club helped me lift my cousin up from the sand. In no time Jere and Steven were over pulling Conrad away from the other guy, it was the weird man from the gas station. Steven put his arm around Belly while Jere led Con towards the car. This night was getting worse by the minute. I pointed the middle finger to that guy and began walking towards the car.

It was a few moments before I felt someone walking behind me, it was Noah.

“Look Noah right now is not a good time,” I tried to say, keeping a polite smile.

“I know, I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay, I know you tend to put everything that goes wrong on your shoulders but this isn’t on you,” he said, it brought a small smile to my face, he really did remember, maybe he did care.

“Thank you, but really I’m fine,”

“Okay, I’ll walk you to the car,” he reassured me, I was half thankful we were parked a few minutes walk away but I still didn’t feel quite safe walking there by myself in the dark so I just nodded to him and let him talk about a project he was doing over the summer. I could image myself with him, he was nice and not bad looking if I squinted and tried enough there could possibly be something there.

A lot faster than I thought the Fisher’s red jeep appeared in my sight, “The car is looking a bit full,” Noah said sheepishly, Conrad was in the back laying across the seats, his head on Steven’s shoulder, “I can always give you a ride,” he suggested and all of a sudden it didn’t seem like such a bad idea, everyone in the jeep seemed tense and I didn’t want to add that to my headache.

I was considering my answer when Jere spotted us, he had just gotten out the car, “I was just coming to get you, I didn’t know where we lost you,” his smile fell a little when he spotted Noah, “Hey Noah man! How you been? Thanks for walking Y/n to the car,” he said quickly putting an arm around me, I could tell he didn’t want to continue the conversation much longer.

“Hey- yeah it’s good to see you too it’s been a while huh? Yeah I didn’t want her to walk alone since you guys rushed off,” I could hear a sip of accusation in his voice, he knew how Jeremiah was, he was a caring boy but at the end of the day he was still a boy only thinking about having fun and nothing else.

“Yeah anyway,” Jere brushed him off pulling me closer towards me, “Ok lets get in the car Y/n”

“Jere-”

“Please get in the car,” he had a finality in his tone that I didn’t know he possessed, I didn’t appreciate him telling me what to do but I knew that Belly was waiting for me in there, everyone in that car was ready to get back to the summer house.

“It was good seeing you again Y/n/n” Noah started and the curly haired blonde frowned a bit at his use of the nickname, only close people ever used it, “Text me when you get home, andwhen you’ve thought about what I said,” he continued and stood stuck in place watching me go towards the car, he didn’t move until he saw that I was sat there with my belt on.

We all got yelled at when we got back into the house, Laurel was sat on the porch with her glass of wine, shaking her head as we pulled into the drive, but the anger in her face rose even more when she saw Belly and then Conrad.

“Belly are insane? Getting in what- some king of fight?” she started, firstly making eye contact with each of us before settling on Belly.

“It wasn’t her it was me,” Con’s voice rose in the air, Laurel’s eyes shifted to him immediately.

“You’re supposed to be the oldest Conrad I’m less than impressed with you tonight, with all of you in fact, you should be glad all of you are fine and alive who would have known what could have happened tonight. Everyone into bed now, we will talk about this in the morning,” her voice was stern. We all started heading inside.

“Y/n/n wait up for a second,” she said so I stopped in my tracks, she waited until everyone else was inside before she spoke up again.

“Let’s sit down for a minute huh? Just you and me,” Laurel said while taking her seat on the porch, I took a deep breath before lowering myself to the ground hoping she wasn’t going to comment on the stink of alcohol on me, suddenly I regretted drinking as much as I did. I look up to Laur, I always have and not just because she took me in but because she was a strong-willed but loving woman, her self-control and level headedness was something I wanted to achieve- I hated to disappoint her.

“Look I know that I haven’t always been able to provide everything for you, especially in the recent years with my divorce with your uncle, it’s just been pretty much me supporting you three growing monsters,” I chucked at her endearment, she didn’t look at me, she chose the drive instead.

I interrupt her before she continues, even though I know she hates when anyone does that, “You’ve done and are doing more than anyone could ever ask of you,” I say, have I acted ungrateful? “You’ve treated me like one of your own children and given me so much love- I don’t need anything more,” I reassure her, this time she does look at me, tears in the corners of her eyes, I want to know what has sparked this conversation.

She pulls my hands into her and places them into her lap, she rushes her fingers over mine, soothing me or maybe herself, “Oh Y/n I love you, you are growing into such a lovely young lady,” she said.

“I love you too, so much- and I only have you to thank, really, and well Susannah as well,” I add pulling a big smile, she pulls me in for a quick hug before getting back to her pervious position.

“Yes about that, I wanted to talk to you about the Debutante ball-”

“I know, I won’t do it, I just felt awful rejecting the invitation at the table when Susannah looked so excited, I know we don’t have the money, and that she offered to pay but-” I started ranting and this is when Laurel’s smile grew bigger than I had ever seen her since her divorce, apart from when she saw Susannah.

“I know I always say you shouldn’t rely on others for well, financial aid but I think it would make Susannah really happy if she had you and Belly do this, or even just one of you, so if you’re up I will be your number one supporter, and well-” she started and then looked back out into space. The silence wasn’t awkward but I hated to see my aunt struggle to say something, this happened so rarely, “I know your mom always wanted you to be a debutante, Amy was always into all that girly stuff,” she explained and I gave her hand a squeeze.

We didn’t talk about my mom often, Laurel’s last memories of her sister were sour especially that she nearly lost Susannah to cancer too.

“Ok lets get inside it’s really late we should both get some sleep,” she said wiping under her eyes, pretending that she wasn’t uspet, I knew better than to prod the matter, instead I took a deep breath before standing up and changing the topic, I told her I saw Noah and she wiggled her eyebrows at me.

She came to my room for a few minutes while I explained what he said to me at the bonfire, she asked, “Well are you going to give him another chance? He really was a lovely boy and from what he said tonight its clear that he genuinely likes you,” but I couldn’t reply, she was right that Noah was almost perfect and his parents too but I couldn’t lie to her when the person my heart beat for was in the room behind the wall. After this she went to her room too, and I laid there with all my windows open and the fan on looking at the ceiling wondering what to do, it was only the first day of the summer and I was already confused. The very thing I didn’t want to be.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

I got greeted with ‘good mornings’ as I walked into the kitchen the next morning, everyone seemed to already be mulling around, Susannah and Laurel were drinking their coffees at the table, Belly on the opposite side looking through some magazine. Con was laying on the couch in the other front room while Jeremiah and Steven were working on the magic hangover soup.

I was feeling better than I expected after last night’s fiasco, Con’s fight sobered me up real quick, that’s when the emotions and events of last night started to flood in.

“Morning everyone,” I said sitting at the table, before I could say anything else I had a bowl of cereal and a drink placed in front of me. I didn’t need to turn around to know who had placed it there, he kissed the top of my head, “There you go sleepyhead,” Jere said walking back over to Steven. I couldn’t pull the smirk off of my face and I said “thanks” not that he heard it anyway.

“Susannah,” I started, her whole face lit up and she faced me with that beautiful smile of hers, “I have decided to be a Debutante this year,” her mouth opened wide I swear I could even hear as small gasp, she was out of her chair and pulling her arms around me in no time at all.

“Ah! This is so exciting! I’m so glad- we’re going to have so much fun! We have to shop and find you an escort! This is going to be wonderful!” she exclaimed, I looked towards Laurel who smiled too and gave me a supporting nod.

“Actually I have decided that I wanted to be a deb too,” Belly announced though she sounded unsure in her decision. This went from an expensive deal to a really expensive deal, I was sure that Belly would decide against it, that was one of the main reasons I agreed, so Susannah would have at least one of us but I just couldn’t let her pay for both of us.

“That’s amazing!” I exclaimed, I was happy for her truly, I was just going to have to tell Susnnah in private that I changed my mind or make up some other reason for backing out, even though a part of me actually really wanted to do it.

“Well, what a fantastic way to start the morning! So who’s going to be Y/n’s escort and who Belly’s?” Suze asked with much enthusiasm.

“I went last year!” Con announced, I remember the way me, Belly and Laurel looked through all the pictures Susannah sent to us after the ordeal last year, Belly flushed at each one while I laughted at how uncomfortable he looked in most of them.

“And I swore off balls!” Jere announced from behind me, I couldn’t turn to look at him, I wanted him to be my escort and he just crushed that, not that it mattered because I wasn’t going to do it anymore anyway.

“Steven?” Suze asked as a last resort.

He chuckled before answering, “I’m escorting someone else,” at this we all gasped and Jeremiah burst into a fit of laughter.

“Let me guess you let Shayla tangle you into this business,” he laughed.

“Who’s Shayla?” Laurel asked.

“Maybe she did, but who am I to say no to a pretty girl I like?” he asked pulling a ‘I’m a winner here’ face before walking out of the kitchen.

“Well it seems like all the Conklins are going to be involved this year, you Fisher boys have something to look up to,” Suze said.

“It doesn’t matter anyway because I’m planning on finding my own date,” Belly said standing up, dropping the magazine onto the table and heading upstairs. She was probably going to ask that guy from the bonfire last night.

“We’re off to thee country club, our first shift boys!” Jere announced sipping some more of his coffee, I couldn’t get my eyes off him, his aura intoxicating like a drug.

“Yeah bro!” Steven ran over and fist bumped Jere, “We’re gonna be so rich this summer!” he exclaimed grabbing the car keys off of the kitchen island.

“Don’t worry Y/n/n we’ll do something when I get back so don’t get too sad,” he messed up my hair by rushing his hand through it, an annoyed expression played out on my face.

“I was actually looking forward to some peace and quiet,” I said nonchalantly, he feigned shock and hurt, I burst into a laugher and closed my eyes in the progress.

“Yeah whatever, I finish at four so be ready by then,” he explained before kissing the top of my head, I felt my body go stiff at the motion, but it didn’t look like anyone else noticed thankfully. He’s done it before, that and pushing my hair behind my ears were his favourite hobbies during the summer, and probably to whatever girl he’s got at home for the rest of the year. But I didn’t want to think about that particularly.

“I’m going surfing,” Con announced dropping his now empty glass into the dishwasher and rushing up the stairs. And so all the boys from the summer house disappeared, it was much quieter without them. I was going to take a job up this summer too but Laurel seemed adamant that I should just take the time to enjoy myself this summer, next year I’ll be busy applying collages.

“Looks like it’s just us girls today then,” Susannah said before taking another sip of her drink and smiling at Laurel and I.

Quick footsteps rush downstairs we all turn our heads when Belly rushes in, wearing some of the new clothes she got specifically for this summer, to impress Conrad I thought, but he was going surfing and she was just going to be spending the day with us…

“Actually I’m meeting Cam today so it’ll just be you three, ok love youuuuu but I’ve got to go! I’ll message see you later!” she ran out the back door and grabbed her bike before any of us as much as moved a muscle.

“Who’s Cam?” Laurel asked confused, running her fingers over her forehead.

“A new boyyyyyy?” Suze asked leaning across the table towards me, Laur’s eyes followed to me too.

I chuckled grabbing my bowl and lifting up from my seat, “She met his last night at the bonfire- or well she actually met him at that Latin convention a few years ago for the first time or something, that’s what she told my yesterday anyway”

“Aww our Belly is growing up, do you think she’ll ask him to the dance?” Suze asked with hopeful eyes.

My aunt’s eyes tried their best to not travel in my direction, she had been sure, as had I, that Belly would decide against being a debutant. I wasn’t about to let any of this upset me, I put on a smile, I was excited for her. I pulled my eyes back to Susannah “Maybe!”

“Right let’s go shopping! We can pick some things out for Belly when we get there too,”

“She’s going to hate that,” I said with a devilish grin.

“As much as I love her growing into a beautiful young lady and finding a summer romance she still just blew us off for the boy, we are better company I can assure! So it’s her own fault,” she exclaimed also getting up and putting her mug in the dishwasher, “Well come on we don’t have all day!”

“Except that we do Susannah,” I pointed out

“Yes but not for waiting around! For shopping, come on!” she grabbed onto my arm and pulled me towards the door, grabbing hold of her sunhat and purse.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

We had been walking around the town for two hours when we stopped at a little café to grab some cold smoothies.

“I can’t believe we haven’t found anything you like yet! You looked gorgeous in so many things!” Susannah exclaimed sipping out of her straw, removing her iconic sunglasses.

That wasn’t exactly true I had loved a few bits and pieces that we found but things we picked out for Belly also had nice price tags, I had seen them but Laurel has not- thankfully- though she will probably make me relay them to her later.

“I’m just going to use the restroom before we continue,” Laurel excuses herself rushing to a nearby public toilet, I took this as a good time to talk to Susannah. I turn to her quickly opening my mouth to speak, but before I can she grabs my hand and stands up.

“Lets go!” she giggled jogging from the table, I quickly manage to grab my phone before we’re rushing off.

“But where are we going?” I ask laughing.

“To try on dresses of course!”

“But what about Aunt Laurel?” I ask frantically.

“She’ll find us- live a little!” she exclaimed, I took a deep breath and let out a full laugh as she pulled me behind her.

We were both out of breath when we arrive at a fancy looking shop, most of the dresses in the windows look like wedding dresses, they are all so beautiful. After a second of a breather she pulled my hand towards the entrance.

“Susannah before we go in we should really talk about something,” I say cautiously.

“We have plenty of time to talk, time to try on dresses is what we’re losing right now, Jere said he wanted to take you out at four so time is passing!” she exclaimed.

“Since when do you let the boys dictate your time?” I ask with a sly grin.

“I don’t usually but” she took a short pause, looking for her next words, “It’s summer,” she said.

We walked around, Suze was suggesting lots of dresses, when she noticed my pattern of ‘no’s and weary looks she started picking out dresses without waiting for my opinion, one of the workers came over. She greeted Susannah with a kind smile, Suze really does know everyone in Cousins Beach, and with no surprise everyone loves her.

“Here let me help you with these,” the young woman said and started to carry the dresses into one of the changing rooms. Susannah followed behind her, and I was behind her.

“Susannah I really appreciate this but we need to talk before I try these on,” I really didn’t want to try any of them on for the fear that I really would fall in love with one of them and that would just add to the little panful vein of jealously that ran through me.

“Y/n just go put one on Laurel is on her way to the shop now, we can surprise her with one!” she exclaimed, again before I could argue the shop assistant guided me to the changing room.

I felt stiff and uncomfortable in the first dress, by the time I had stepped out my aunt was sat in the seat next to Susannah, I was expecting to see some kind of angry expression but all I could see was a sad smile.

“No I can already see from the way that you’re walking that it’s not the one. Next!” the blonde exclaimed, I couldn’t help but smile at her. And so I did as she asked and went to put on the next one, and then the next and then the next. After about nine dresses I was exhausted.

“Laurel would you be a gem and go find out about their hat colour palettes?” Susannah asked her best friend, but I could see from the expression behind her eyes that there was some other motive, when my aunt disappeared Susannah stood up, I opened the changing room door to show her there were no other dresses.

“Is now the time to talk?” I asked with a hint of, not annoyance, but tired eagerness.

“No not yet, I saw this dress two years ago and asked them to store it away for a small fee, I remember that summer you had left earlier for some reason and I had come in here just looking around and it was centre of the shop of a mannequin. The second I saw it I thought of you, my little, well not so little anymore Y/n/n. It would mean I lot to me if you would try it on” her voice had turned so sincere, I couldn’t believe it, she didn’t actually have something put away for me… and she paid to have it put away, here was to hoping that Belly would like it.

A different worker, this one with short coppery hair brought out a black bag, her teeth shined a perfect white as she placed the bag in the changing room. She said she’d assist me as the back of the dress was a bit of ‘guess where this piece of material goes’ game.

Even as I was sliding the material on this one felt different to all the other dresses, maybe it was a placebo effect because of what Susannah had told me? I tried to shake the giddy feeling off. When the worker was done helping me out she said she’d announce me to Susannah.

I took a deep breath as the lady said my name, Suze started cheering and I stepped out onto the platform, the blonde looked like she was about to faint, or cry, or scream I couldn’t quite tell which and it was making me anxious.

“Turn around dear,” she encouraged standing up, for a second I couldn’t believe it was myself I was looking at, “You look beautiful,” she smiled, I closed my eyes and turned back around, Susannah looked a little taken aback.

“This is one of the most beautiful and luxurious things I’ve ever worn, or even laid my eyes on,” the dress material was quite simple but there was delicate lace details, and the back of the dress was open with thin criss-cross details where I definitely would have put my arms if not the assistant’s help.

“I knew you would love it! I will let you in on a little secret, it’s a newer model of my debutante dress, the one I wore was the designer’s first dress and this one was her last,” she looked reminiscent...

“But I need to speak to you about something important, and before you say now is not the time I really need to say it,” I let the words rush out of my mouth like a tsunami claiming land as its own, Susannah sat back down, I sat beside her. She looked concerned now, she nodded me to go on.

“Susannah I love you with all my heart and more and you know that,” I start.

“Yes,” She replied.

“And I would do everything in my power to make you happy and proud, but I can’t let you pay my way though this debutante ordeal.”

“Y/n I already said I was more than willing to pay for you and you had agreed, this is nothing, there is no price on seeing my girl in a white dress…” there was a pause before she continued in a hurry “alongside other beautiful, maturing young women,” she argued grabbing a hold of my hand.

“I know, and I will never be thankful enough that you see me in this kind of light, really, but I know you haven’t given back the invitations yet so you can give in Belly’s and we can just misplace mine, we’ve spent some pretty coins today on just outfits for Belly and that’s not even with her white dress, which I’m sure is not cheap.” Susannah let go of my hand I could feel my heart break to pieces, “Plus I think Belly would love this dress,”.

“This is not Belly’s dress,” she then took a deep breath whilst standing up, all of a sudden I felt like a nine year old again getting the ‘I’m not angry I’m just disappointed’ talk from Laurel and Susannah alongside Conrad and Jeremiah for breaking one of Susannah’s favourite glass vases. I stood up too, trying to eliminate that pesky feeling. She ran her delicate fingers over her forehead and exhaled another sigh.

Right then Laurel walked in, “What’s going on here?” she asked before realising what conversation must have just occurred.

“We are just getting ready to leave, I’m not feeling very well, I’m sure we can come back in tomorrow or the day after, maybe Belly will grant us some time of day too. Sandra could please have the dress put back for me I will be in contact with you in the next few days,” she gave a semi-convincing smile before rushing outside, Laurel followed behind her.

The ride home was painfully quiet, Susannah’s previous excitement was completely gone now, I felt horrible, it was all because of me, now I really wish I did take that summer job then maybe I could have scraped enough to pay for the clothes and the dress and make it to the ball like Cinderella. When we arrived back at the summer house it had just hit about four, both Susannah and I excused ourself to our rooms.

I fell onto my bed, I wanted to sink under the covers and disappear. I had been in bed for no longer than 20 minutes when my door was pushed widely open and footsteps came closer to my bed.

“Not now Belly,” I announced not looking up. Except it wasn’t Belly, when my duvet was ripped from my head it was Jeremiah who smiled at me.

“Good afternoon to you too sleephead!” he said grabbing onto my arm trying to lift me, when I wasn’t budging he sat down and brushed my hair out my face, “Aw no what happened?”

“I’ve just got a headache,”

“Well get rid of it because we’re going swimming! Plus I found this awesome spot the other day where we can have a picnic with all the good snacks I brought on the way home,” he smiled expectantly. Even though I disappointed Susannah today there was no way I couldn’t give in for Jere, at least I could take my mind off of everything else.

When he had said we’re going swimming I assumed the pool, but he had meant the lake, we took out a canoe, there was no one else on the lake, it was still the early days of summer so everyone was still settling in. It was all peaceful until Jere decided to start swaying the canoe back and forth really fast.

“Jere you’re going to tip us over,”

“That’s the plan, whoever gets back on the canoe first wins!” he announces before jumping out and flipping it over. I squeal the water freezing even under the boiling sun, I rushed to the canoe which he had already flipped over and shoved him out the way, holding tight onto the wood kicking my feet.

Jere splashed water into my face and managed to get in first, cheering in a triumphant noise. He stood up, what a fool, I stared shaking the canoe under him and he couldn’t find his balance, all I had to do was lean the wood upwards slightly and he was back in the water. This time I knew payback was coming so I started swimming further away from him. His legs and arms longer than mine, and stronger-he caught up with me fast. Picking me up bridal style, we hit the part of the lake where he was stood comfortably on the ground, water up to his neck. His muscles felt toned under my finger tips and I tried my best to keep my eyes focused on his face but the tingling in my stomach was a swarm of butterflies. He held me bridal style and gave his signature smirk before chucking himself backwards with me still in his arms, I held tight onto his neck.

While all this was happening we didn’t quite realise how far into the lake the canoe had drifted, “That’s your fault!” I announced splashing him again, when he let me go.

“No wayyyy! It was you who toppled me over and then left!” he splashed back before grabbing my arm and pulling me closer to him. Just because. He simply likes when I’m near- he admitted that to me over one of our late night calls, he had a little bit to drink but that’s when he’s the most honest. I never asked him about it again though- I couldn’t risk that being some drunk slur, instead I let myself drift towards him in every room, and allow him to pull me closer.

“Should have grabbed the canoe before chasing me then!” I said and he just shook his head before diving under, I look around for him but couldn’t see him until… Suddenly I was in the air on his shoulders, his hands on my thighs, I looked down at him, brushing his hair out his face. A tingly feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

“Last person to the canoe has to drive home!” he shouted before throwing me off. He knew I hated driving after swimming. He let me win of course. He didn’t mind driving plus he’d never let me do anything I hated… not really, unless it was actually necessary.

When the sun started to set we got back onto the bank, tied the canoe back onto the car and sat down on a blanket, pulling out some snacks and drinks out the mini fridge. The wind decided to be a pain in the ass this evening. I had only worn my shorts and a tank top which I was now regretting wearing.

Jere must have seen me shiver because he threw his grey hoodie at me, I took it with a quiet thanks, he did this a lot. So we sat and talked and talked and talked. We had finished all the food but it was too peaceful to ruin. We both ended up laying down eventually looking up at the colourful sky, there was shades of pinks, oranges and yellows.

“Hey Jere,” I said after a few minutes of quiet, he turned his face to look at me, “Did you- I mean, will you be my escort at the Deb ball?” my voice shaky, I knew I wasn’t going to go but I just wanted to know, if I was doing it would my asking him be enough to break his ‘no balls’ oath.

His face scrunched up and he let out a laugh, “Sorry I actually thought you were being serious for second!” he exclaimed sitting up.

I felt as though I had been punched in the stomach. Now I wish I hadn’t asked. He took a pause after I sat up, I was so tangled up in the hit that I forgot to laugh, to give into his joke.

“You were being serious?” he asked quickly, looking back onto the lake, “Y/n/n listen… I uh,”

“No it’s fine it was a stupid question, I’m not doing it anyway I just wanted to prank you!” I said in a lifting tone but I think he could see right through me, it felt as though he could see all under my skin, “We should get back though or Laurel might kill us, Belly’s friend Cam’s coming for that movie marathon tonight right?” I said with a smile, keeping the tone of my voice even.

He looked distracted when he replied, “Uh, yeah, yeah you’re right,” he replied.

We packed everything up quickly, we played music in the car as if nothing happened, but the tension still slightly hung in the air, we didn’t talk much. When we arrived everyone was already in the living room.

“Just in time!” Susannah said when we walked in, I met Steven’s eyes which lit up when he saw Jere. I said hello to everyone and excused myself to get changed, Jere followed behind me, on the way up the stairs I removed his jumper and went to pass it back to him, “Thank for this,” I said again but he didn’t take it.

“You can keep it I’ve got plenty,” he assured me with a smile. This he has never done, he always let my wear his hoodies whenever I want even here at home but never let me keep any. Maybe he feels guilty- I hated that.

We were halfway through the second movie, the moms sat together on one couch, Cam and Belly on the other squished up on side so I could sit on the other. Jere and Steven on the floor. Conrad left after the first movie, my intuition told me it had something to do with the cuddling pair next to me. My eyes were distracted from the movies too. Every so often travelling to a certain curly haired blonde. I sighed and got up, moving towards the kitchen. Susannah entered after me.

“Y/n/n dear,” she said sitting down next to me, I took a sip of water before looking towards her.

“What is it?” I asked with a smile.

“I can see right through that sad smile and you know it!” she whispered and took my hand, “I know you said that you didn’t want to be a debutante because of the expenses, but if it wasn’t because of that, and lets say it was due to a little ignorant blonde curly haired Fisher boy, don’t let him put you off. You’ve done plenty of things that would make you a wonderful debutante and think about how well it would look on collage applications,” I went to stop her but she pulled the ‘let me finish’ face, so I did, “You deserve this, a reward, you’re beautiful with a good heart, you have to live a little, every boy in cousins will want to be your escort,” she said with a smile, the smile that tugged at all my heart strings.

I could only nod at her, tears building up in the corners of my eyes, she pulled me into an embrace, I’ve been working so hard my whole life, trying so hard to give back for the amazing family I have, to make them proud, and my mom too and sometimes it still felt as though it wasn’t enough.

“Thank you Susannah,” that was for everything she had done for me not just the deb thing or today.

“Alright no need to be sad anymore, I’ll be taking Belly’s acceptance in the morning so let me know what you want to do then, just think that the dress will always be yours, now lets get back in there ok?” she smiled holding out her arms which I gladly fell.

I gave Susannah my acceptance response in the morning, I had agreed with her that I would pay back at least some of the money when I come stay with her in February to work on a series of charity events. She shook hands with me on it and embraced me, making me smile.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Few weeks had passed and whilst Jeremiah and I had found our center again I found myself spending more time with Noah than my best friend, and today he was coming over for dinner, during which Susannah had encouraged me to ask him to be my escort as dance lessons were beginning tomorrow. He was the obvious choice as we were seeing each other, and yet I was wary, it’s not like I even wanted Jere to be my escort anymore- even if he changed his mind. A Lie. I changed my outfit for the forth time before making my way downstairs.

Noah and I usually hung out around town, at the beach or his house. Not that I didn’t want to be at the summer house, I just didn’t want to see Jeremiah when I was with Noah, nervous about how I’d react and moreover how he would. He’d probably be nonchalant as he had been every time someone brought Noah up, or the few times we’d all hung out as a group.

The table was set, Taylor- who had come to visit for a few days- was sat at the table next to Belly, Steven sat next to her. Conrad was helping his mom bring some last bits before taking a seat at one side of the table opposite her. Jeremiah was sat opposite me, the seat next to mine empty and the one next to it was taken by Laurel.

“I’m so glad you did decide to invite Noah tonight,” Susannah announced taking her seat with a smile. I gave a weak one back as a reply. I didn’t really want to invite him but after days of pleas I couldn’t come up with anymore excuses, plus I needed to ask him to be my escort- Jeremiah had rejected the idea- and Noah would be hurt if I didn’t ask him. Things were good between us. Stable. Not adventurous like Jere and I were but it was good. It was ok.

“Yeah we’re all so glad to see him!” Jere said not meeting my eyes across the table, sarcasm dripping from him like paint off a brush.

“Are you asking him to be your escort tonight?” Belly asked and Taylor wiggled her brows at me, I felt my cheeks blush and I ran my finger through my hair. Belly had already asked Cam to be her escort a few days ago, she was updating me on all her Conrad gossip but I didn’t comment- they needed to figure it out themsleves.

“Yeah, I’ll take him for a walk to the beach after dinner, it’s simple but-”

“It’s a you thing and that’s what he’ll appreciate,” Susannah said, and just as she did the doorbell rang.

“Speaking of the devil,” Connie said, shuffling to get up, before he was fully stood I shot up from my chair and sped walk towards the door, I could hear him teasing me.

I twisted the key and opened the door, there he was, he leant down to give me a quick peck and I begged to feel something- anything! Still there was nothing, I felt as though I was kissing a mere friend, weirdly. He laid his hand of my lower back as I led him through to the dinning room.

Everyone greeted him with warm smiles and everyone quickly settled for food.

“So what are you planning to take at college?” Laurel asked and I wanted to shoot her dagger eyes, this really wasn’t the time for an interview.

“Uh so I’m currently deciding between medicine and law, but learning towards medicine, my aunt’s a doctor and she’d always been a huge inspiration of mine, she saved a little boy at the scene of an accident, when the ambulance arrived they said he wouldn’t have made it if she wasn’t there,” the candour in his voice giving him such sincerity.

“That’s amazing,” Susannah said taking a sip of her drink, I stopped, looking at Jeremiah rolling his eyes across the table- I tried my best to ignore him but at some point Noah started noticing the little stupid reactions too and I suddenly felt embarrassed of the blonde’s actions. If I hadn’t known better I would have said that Jeremiah was jealous but that couldn’t have been the case.

At his twentieth eyeroll I’d had enough, I took a deep breath and turned to Noah, “Hey did you want to take a walk down onto the beach?” I put on my biggest smile hoping he’d understand I wanted to leave.

He laid his hand on my thigh and his eyes looked clearly at me, he was reading my face and for a minute too long because Jere’s eyes followed Noah’s hand placement, “Yeah I’d like that,”

“Great let me just change into some leggings,” I said quickly getting up, getting away from Noah’s hand contact. It wasn’t cold so I didn’t really have to change but I needed a break from him- and Jeremiah.

I was half way up the stairs when I heard a voice say, “I’m just going to run to the toilet really fast,” I paused just to be greeted with the Blonde that decided to show his attitude tonight. At this I sped up my journey up.

“Y/n let me talk to you really quick,” he whispered following me.

“Later Jere I want to get to the beach before it gets too late,” I close my door behind me, searching through one of my draws when he barges in behind me, I scoff, he knows I hate when people come in without knocking.

“Ow come on please,” he begged, when I turned around he was showing his puppy eyes, lips pouting. This time I rolled my eyes, finding my leggings in my draw.

“After that show downstairs? No. We can talk when I get back,” I said more assured this time.

“Y/n/n come onnnnn,” he said grabbing my arms and pulling me towards him, I could smell some alcohol on him, had he been drinking before dinner?

I didn’t have the energy to pull out of his grip, “What do you need Fisher?” I huffed, I didn’t like calling him by his surname and he didn’t seem to like it either, it wasn’t personal enough, the sad expression on his face made me regret it even more.

“Don’t ask him to be your escort,” he stated simply, I took a double take before moving some hair out of my face.

“Why not?” I asked furrowing my brows, he just shrugged and looked down, “I need someone to go with, I asked you Jeremiah and you said no,” I reminded him and he took a deep breath as if the memory stung him, “Was there anything else you needed?” I asked quietly, it was so unlike him to be this unresponsive, it’s unnerving.

He shook his head but didn’t move, we just looked at each other, “Are you coming?” Noah’s voice echoed from downstairs, it brought me back to reality. Yet I didn’t want to be brought back into it not when I could have stayed and looked into Jeremiah’s eyes for a little longer.

“Yeah!” I shouted quickly, rushing to the bathroom. Jere was already downstairs at the table when I came down. We had been at the beach for about an hour before I asked Noah- his reaction was polar opposite to Jere’s and that felt more like a stab to the chest than my best friend’s rejection. Noah’s smile extended bigger than I thought possible, he lifted me into an embrace and swung me around like Jere had the day we arrived. When he put me down he answered, “Yes! Of course yes! I would be honoured,” he exclaimed.

The kitchen was empty upon our return, Noah kissed me goodbye by the front door and I watched as he drove out the driveway, an uneasy weight on my chest. I brushed my hand through my hair and made my way upstairs. Tomorrow was the first dance rehearsal and I need energy- at least that was my excuse to not watch a film with Susannah and Laurel.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Another two weeks had passed and the ball was becoming closer and closer which consequently meant so was the end of the summer. It was a strange feeling, it was the same feeling every year. These last three months we spent here were going to become just that, a few months spent here. I brushed the throught off as we were getting ready to leave for another party, this one was at Trevor’s house a couple of roads down.

Noah wasn’t going to be there, he was going with is parents to some convention a town over but he told me that I should go, that I shouldn’t miss out on the fun on his account. Jere was the one to convince me, he said there was going to be a bounce house and I had been suggesting we get one at a party for years.

There was an array of drinks all around the house, most people were already intoxicated when we arrived, not that any of us minded, that’s what made it all so much more entertaining. I was devastated to find out that there was no bounce house though.

“I had to get you out of the house somehow! You never come out to parties with us anymore unless Noah’s there,” he said with puppy eyes hanging onto my arm.

“I’ve been to very single party held this year,” I confront him, all the kids went to all the parties so naturally Noah did too, he had loads of friends here as well.

“Yeah whatever, but you’ve been neglecting partying with you best friend,” he argued.

“Jere whenever we went to parties together you ditched me for a hook-up,” I said raising my eyebrows, digging the knife deeper into my own heart, but I needed to say it because it was true, I needed to keep reminding myself.

“When have I done that?” he asked.

“Last year, at pretty much all the parties,” I said picking up a can of fruit beer.

“Yeah because you were too busy with Noah to see me,” he contradicted, but that wasn’t true, not exactly, Noah spoke to me for the first time when Jere ditched me for a hook up and I was stood like a loner because Con didn’t want to come to the party and Belly was too young (Steven was ill at time, in bed with summer fever). This happened another three times before I decided enough was enough. I had a perfectly perfect boy here, so I wouldn’t let Jere be the reason I hung out with him. I started dipping parties with Noah before Jere could tell me he was going, this way hurt less.

“Whatever, no matter what I say you’ll argue, I just want to have some fun,” I said taking a swing of a shot before walking over to where everyone was dancing. I think I ended up drinking too much because Jere and I ended up back on our private part of the beach behind the house. I had his hoodie on and his arms was around me and we just sat watching the waves in the night.

I was always more vulnerable when drunk, so when he Jere look at me, it felt like he was looking at me for the first time- properly. His eyes went to my lips and then back to my eyes. And then again.

“Jere-” I tried to put some power into my voice but it came out as a pathetic whisper, his hand travelled to the side of my face, brushing my cheek. Not saying a thing.

Suddenly I was feeling hot, and the air around us was warmer than before, the jumper suffocating me. He was inching towards me and I couldn’t push myself to stop him. I didn’t want this to happen like this, under the influence, I had to admit to myself that I wanted to him. But I wanted him sober, when he was actually in control of his actions.

“Jere” I tried again but he didn’t stop, I could feel his breath on my lips when my phone started ringing, he moved back slightly, his hand still on my cheek, I pulled my phone out the pocket of his jumper. It was Noah. This made Jeremiah moved completely away, the loss of warmth made me feel unsafe, alone against the world.

I hovered my thumb of the red ‘decline’ button, but then took a deep breath, I needed to be rational we weren’t eleven year olds anymore, now actions had real consequences. So without as much as a look towards Jere I answered.

“Hello,” I said, my voice still shaky, Jere turned to me, his eyes hurt, “Yeah no I’m fine, yes I’m home, we’re sat out back now, all of us just chilling, ok, yes I will do ok. Ok I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” I said before putting the phone back into my pocket. Now there was a silence.

“Jeremiah,” I started, my voice a whisper once again, he looked at me, looking a little sobered up, “Be my escort to the Deb ball?” before he could reply I rambled, “I know what you were about to do, and I’m not saying I don’t want to- in fact I do, and have wanted to for well… years but not like this. I asked you earlier at the start of summer, you had all of me and rejected me. And if you don’t want me then at least let me be with someone who does,” I announced not breaking the eye contacting for a second.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be your escort, or even about this stupid dance,” I tried not to wince at him calling something that means a lot to me stupid… “Listen I’m drunk and… and I’m glad the phone called what I almost did was a mistake, I just wanted to kiss someone but I didn’t want to ditch you and prove you right,” he said brushing a hand through his hair.

I just nodded, lips pushed together to not let myself fall apart. When saying those words he seemed sober enough. He didn’t want me, or this. Now I actually had my answer.

“Ok, well I’m glad we’ve got that out the way, and that you think so low of me that you were going to kiss me for the mere want to kiss someone, anyone,” I said getting up, I wasn’t annoyed that he rejected me. You can’t control your feelings, I was just angry that he had such little respect for me.

“Stop being such a baby about it Y/n it’s summer, I just want to live a little,” he said laying back on his arms, looking up at me with a grin.

“You’re right, summer’s all fun and no consequences, or at least no thoughts about consequences, sorry that we’re not all just living in your world,”

“I’m not saying it’s my world,”

“It never is,”

“Whatever Y/n you always argue when things aren’t your way, but you don’t see that your way is always the good way,”

“Like I said I’m glad we’re got everything in the air now, you’re a dick,” I said, ripping hid jumper off and throwing it at him and then walked off, I considered calling Noah and asking him to come to the house but I knew that wasn’t fair on him. Jeremiah didn’t follow when I left. When I got home I took all of his hoodies from my room and threw them on his bed, then I went to sleep.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

I was wearing the white dress, my white dress, my hair braided intricately into a bun with a small tiara nestled right in the centre, I couldn’t actually believe this was happening, with Belly by my side and Shayla on the other side. The one thing that couldn’t be more wrong was the fact that my best friend was still angry at me, in fairness I was still angry at him.

“Do you think Cam and I will stay in contact after the summer?” A nervous Belly asked from beside me, I haven’t seen her this stressed since the time she failed her third math test in a row and her teacher called Laurel.

“Do you want to stay in contact with him?” I ask lifting my brows.

Her lips curled together and she looked to the ground quickly before answering, “He’s a lovely boy and I’ve really had a good summer with him but- I don’t know how to put it- it’s just, he’s, he’s not-”

“He’s not Conrad?” I finished the sentence, her cheeks glowing a powdery pink, she let out a little sigh.

“It’s not like he’ll ever actually look at me like that anyway,” her smile became sad.

I was about to argue with her, how could she not see that she made his smile that much brighter, everyone looked over at the door when a frantic knocking came from outside.

“I need to talk to Y/n…” all the girls’ eyes looked to me, I swallowed down, “Now would be ideal,” the voice continued, I looked at Belly.

“Speak of the devil” I whispered with an uneasy smile, before rushing toward the door and opening it the smallest bit to make sure the other girls don’t get seen.

“What is it Conrad?” I ask frantically, he doesn’t answer for a second, he looks me up and down.

“You look beautiful Y/n” he says before he returns to reality looking frantic again.

“Thank you Connie but what is so urgent that…”

“Yes! Right- So our lovely Cam Cameron,” the moment he says that boy’s name my heart stops, what’s happened now?- “fell over on the whaling boat and broke his leg a few hours ago, he’s in hospital, his phone somewhere in the ocean...” he exclaims and the mouth falls opens. This has to be some kind of joke. Poor Belly. She must be frantic that he’s not answering her texts, and she’s not told any of us...

“You’re kidding right?” I ask, he wouldn’t joke about something like this, about something this important I know he wouldn’t.

“I wish I was, Laurel and mom don’t know, what are we going to do?”

“You know what has to be done,” I say digging my eyes into his, he shakes his head at first.

“No- she doesn’t want to see me, moreover for me to be her escort,” he whispers because there are definitely some debutante’s listening from the other side of the door.

“Are you insane! Will you two get a grip, she’s so in love with you and you know this! She’s looked up to you her whole life. And- and you look at her like she up the moon and the stars in the sky! There you go it’s all out in the open, you’re going to be her escort! Done and sorted!” I whisper-shouted, he was a bit taken aback but a smile was cracking under his worry, “I won’t tell her so she doesn’t get stressed out, but just be there, show up,” I chide him and he nods.

“Thank you Y/n, you’re amazing thank you so much,” he pulled me into a hug, I let out a relieved sigh.

“We’ve got this,” I say, but I don’t know if I’m reassuring Con or myself.

“I hope you get a grip too though, and Jere,” he announced still in a whisper

I pull away from him with shock in my eyes, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean you idiot, he loves you, has for years he just doesn’t think he’s enough for you,”

“I told him he was everything I needed at the beginning of summer Con, but he chose hook ups and parties so maybe I’m not enough for him, and that’s ok,” I tell him-

“Y/n he didn’t know what he was doing, he’s not that smart as you’ve noticed” he exclaimed trying to make me feel better so I put on my biggest smile.

“I asked him to be my escort, twice, once in the beginning and once a few days ago, and if he couldn’t commit to a few stupid dances maybe it’ll be better if we don’t try to commit to anything more huh?” I ask rhetorically, he look like he wants to argue but I continue, “Listen Con, I’m a straightforward person ok, we don’t lie to each other, I don’t know where the tide will take me next” or in other words I don’t know if I’ll ever be back in Cousins because this was never my place, not like theirs anyway, “but I know what I want, and I’m done fighting for this so please let’s move on from this and- and just have this one night altogether again. Please,” I said, tears prickling the corners of my eyes, he wraps me in a hug again before we hear the girls shouting my name, it was almost time.

Coming back into the room I have all the eyes on me again, all the girls asking what he wanted, but the only eyes I paid any attention to were Belly’s, she looked so hopeful, I just went up to her and hugged her, tonight one of he biggest birthday wishes was going to come true.

“It’s time!” Gigi exclaimed and all the girls followed her to rush out the door, Belly grabs a hold of my hand but I tell her I need to touch up some lip gloss before I leave, and that’s how get left alone in the dressing room. I look in the mirror and smile. Actually, genuinely smile for the first time in days. I wasn’t going to let anything ruin this moment, hopefully I would sort things out with Jere tonight or before we leave then I will feel complete.

I was last on the list for my name to be called out, while I was listening to all the other girls getting called out I couldn’t be more proud of each and every single one of those girls, we had be through a lot together this summer, they all deserve this moment.

Then there’s two people in front of my Gigi who was about to be announced and then Belly who turned around and looked like she has just seen a ghost.

“Cam broke his leg this afternoon so Connie’s stepping in?” my tone was more like a question and I gave her an ‘I’m sorry’ smile and even under her horror her eyes are sparkling, “He wanted to be the one to do this anyway,” I reassure her. She smiles at me and then turns to smile Con, they send each other an awkward little wave and my heart swells for them.

For a second I close my eyes and imagine it is Jeremiah who is waiting behind Conrad for me, I even let myself smile, hoping, praying that by some miracle when I opened them he would be there.

He wasn’t.

Of course.

Noah was.

Another deep breath, that was becoming a theme tonight, and a big exhale. And so Belly was gone, then I was eye to eye with Noah, he smiled and waved but I could only smile, tempted to just run away and hide but I wasn’t doing this for myself it was for Susannah.

“Now we have Y/n Conklin,” said the announcer, followed by a bunch of charity work I have completed and my hopes for college. I was walking out, I spot Susannah then Laurel and then him. Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ playing in my head the second my eyes meet his. His smile is weak but its there. The only spot left was right in front of our table, of course it was.

First was the boy’s dance, it was amazing Steven really went for it and Conrad who learned it in 10 minutes was shockingly impressive, Belly who was stood next to me clapped wildly. Then everything broke off for drinks and snacks.

Susannah runs over to me and pulls me into a hug, then Belly and Conrad. Noah stays on my arms and greets Laurel and Suze too, they compliment us and show their excitement about the boys’ dance.

“Yeah yeah good job boys, come on bring it in!” Jere exclaimed giving Steven and Con bear hugs, then complimenting Belly and turning to me, “Can we talk?” he asked stopping in front of me and pointing towards the doors. I could feel Noah’s hold on my tightening.

“Uh- yeah sure,” I removed my hand from his grip and gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be back in a sec ok? Get us some drinks?” Noah’s frown turned back to a smile real quick.

The cold air is nice of my skin, it feels like I’m breathing normally again.

“You look beautiful,” Jere says turning towards me, his back to the ball room, I want to smile but I can’t.

“And you couldn’t have said that inside?” I asked, I wasn’t prodding him or trying to be annoying I just didn’t want to argue.

“I’m sorry.” He announced and shakes his head, “I wish I could hit some magic ‘re-do’ button and let this summer play out again,” he continued.

“We’ve all been there, wondering whether if we did something differently the outcome would change, but like I like to say-”

“Don’t say everything happens for a reason-”

I give him a sympathetic smile, in that moment I mourn would could have been between us, “That magic button doesn’t exist,”

He steps closer and puts his hands on the sides of my face, “I know, but second chances exist, and well third…” I put all my effort into not leaning into his touch, “Give me a chance, I- Y/n I love you, and you can’t say anything to make me change my mind. I should have been the fucking one up there with you, I’ll never forgive myself for not being there for you, I was scared shitless that I would mess up, hurt you- that would affect both our families and-” his eyes have a tint of red in them.

“I know Jere, I love you too, you know that,” I put my hands on his wrists, “You will always have a piece of my heart, right here,” I say taking one of his hands and laying it on my chest.

“Let me have this dance, let me prove to you-”

“Jere I’m here with Noah, and he’s invited me to meet his parents when we get back, he’s been here all of last summer, planning all year on how he was going to win me back this summer and try harder when I was the one who pushed him away… for you,”

“I know, I know I was dick,”

“I can’t keep rereading the same story because the ending isn’t going to change Jere,” I say with finality and head back into the ball room, wiping the underneath of my eyes begging that my makeup hasn’t smudged.

Though I’m in for another dig when I enter, Noah looks less than impressed as I walk over to him, I looked for Susannah or Laurel or Belly for an escape but none of them are in my visual ground. Great.

“I can’t do this. I’m not doing it again,” he announces, I know exactly what he means but I act dumb- what else could I do?

“What do you mean? Do what again?” I ask frantically, he’s edging towards the exit.

“I can’t talk in here,” he says and I take a look around a few eyes have darted at us, I was so sick of everyone sticking their noses in my business. He rushes outside, I grab my dress and follow behind him, this time the hit of chilly air doesn’t make me better, it makes me feel sick.

“Last year you left me because you couldn’t get over Jeremiah, over the ‘what if?’ about him, I had to respect that. But he hurt you, left you in the dirt, I forgave that, because- because I really, really liked you,”

“Liked?”

“Liked, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me, who’s heart belongs to an undeserving boy,” that’s when it hit me, Noah could insult me and the beat of my heart all that he wanted but he did not have a right to insult him.

“Don’t call him an underserving boy, this is on me, not on him,”

“Why can’t you just give him up! He doesn’t treat you right! He won’t, I’ve ripped out my heart and laid it on a silver platter for you, made plans for the future,”

“Noah-”

“No, fuck this shit, and fuck him for stringing you along, and fuck you, for letting him,” that was the last thing he said before getting in his car and driving off. I deserve it a part of me thought.

But another part of was freaking out because he couldn’t even do this last dance with me, I wanted nothing more than to kneel down and sob but the dress was too nice… and expensive for me to do that. So I lifted my head high once again that night and walked back into the room but Susannah knew, the minute I came to the table. She knew exactly what happened. Before I even made it to the table all the Debs were lining up ready to dance with their partners, I don’t get in line with them I continue moving towards the table Belly meets my eyes Conrad is nowhere to be seen, I shrug my shoulders, some part of me couldn’t believe he was about to fuck up again and not show.

That’s when the Fisher brothers rushed through the door, Con pushed Jere towards the table before getting in line with Belly. I was sat now watching Jeremiah approach quick footed. He stood in front of me.

“Will you do me the honour?” He asks holding out his hands, Susannah gasps and it looks like her eyes are about to swell with tears, “This doesn’t have to change our conversation from earlier,” he reassured me. I’m thankful he doesn’t say it ‘doesn’t change’ instead he said it ‘doesn’t have to change’ giving me the option to give him the chance after this.

I tell myself I’m taking his hand and his offer because I didn’t want to stand out, to look like a Deb who had to sit out because her date dumped her. As we get into line a thought shoots through me… “But you don’t know the dance!” I whisper to him.

He glances back at me with those clear sky eyes, and that smile that put me at ease with such little effort, “Con just taught it to me, hence being a tiny bit late for Belly,” I want to laugh, to say more to him, to not miss out on anymore time that we have left but the song starts and were in the dance.

His hand moves over my arms and joins with my gloved hands, even through them I feel the rush of electricity from his touch, then he spins me and his fingers run along the open back of my dress, it sent shivers through me. Every time we were face to face our eyes didn’t leave each other, just like our hands, and when he dipped me down at the end of the song I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me, but he wouldn’t do it, because I said no to him.

The clapping and the cheers bring me back to reality and him too is seems in the way that he lifts me back up, everyone breaks back out into chatter, we stand there for a moment his hands still on my arms, his hold firm willing me to not leave his side.

“I’m so, so glad that it was me,” he whispered, as if speaking aloud would end this moment, my eyes shift between his eyes and his lips, his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, “Are you?”.

I don’t know what compelled me to do it there and then but I did it. My hands, almost like muscle memory, rushed to the back of his neck and pulled him down to me, my lips met his. His hands travelled to the sides of my face, then my neck and then my arms and then my waist, bringing me closer and closer.

I realise quickly where we are, pulling away fixing myself up a little, rushing a hand through his hair, “This was always your dance Jeremiah, you know that,”

He leaned down to peck my lips again, and I giggled into the kiss. His hand landed on the low of my back as he guided me back to the giddy table, of which I have no doubt, the participants have watched me kiss Jeremiah Fisher. Susannah stood up to hug me, then said she needs photos. She rushed all of us to the photo wall, it was just some blue silky fabric pinned to the wall, but it was everything it needed to be and more.

She made us take individual photos, then in our pairs, then all together, then her boys, then us Conklins, then the girls and then all the boys. Then Conrad and I had a special request for a photo. After half an hour of hogging the photo spot I’m pretty sure we had a photo of every combination.

Before I knew it we were all back home eating dinner and laughing in the around the table, then playing some silly card game I kept losing at but that didn’t matter because Jere would be beside me pulling adorable faces and trying to tickle me when I tried to sabotage his win.

I wanted it to be like this always, all of us, together.

Masterlist

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher x you #jeremiah fisher #jeremiah fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher x y/n #jeremiah fisher x you #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #tsitp x you #tsitp x reader #tsitp imagine #tsitp jeremiah #tsitp fanfic #the summer i turned pretty x you #the summer i turned pretty x reader #the summer i turned pretty imagine

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anamariamauricia · 3 months

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Anne: boyfriend texted me "my love, I am intoxicated" and then five minutes later, his best friend sends me a photo of him, passed out, phone in hand, and zoomed in on one of my selfies

#the musketeers #anne and aramis #annamis #incorrect quotes #muske memes #*seagull voice* mine #quote is from a tweet by user himbowithnofear which i believe was in reference to anakin skywalker but is also a great description of arami

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steverogersistheguy · 8 months

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The song of the waves Dark!surfer!Thor x f!reader

GIF NOT MINE, found it on Pinterest <3

Warnings: none, for this chapter, let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: Thor seems the nice guy, but don't let yourselves fooled so easily. Also, English is NOT my first language, so if there are any further mistakes, I apologize. Enjoy! xxx

<- Ch.1

The plane trip seemed to last forever, but you had the chance to actually enjoy all this thing when you landed. As soon as your feet touched the sand, you inhaled deeply the salty air. The ocean was more beautiful than the pictures you saw on Google last night when you typed: Tavarua Island.

You finally persuaded your friends to walk to your hotel, and not to take a car, wanting to see the surroundings more.

When you stepped in the hotel, you could only ask yourself how much could all this trip possibly have costed. You tried to swallow the weird gut feeling you had, putting all your uncomfortableness on the theme it was a new place.

You unpacked, and arranged all your stuff on the cupboard in your enormous room. Tyler suggested you all stay inside, but you really wanted to go for a walk.

Despite your whole mood, you decided you were just paranoid and you left the hotel, walking and admiring the places. Your friends remained in their rooms, but you didn't care. It was too beautiful outside just to stay indoors, having tons of drinks and flirting with the hotel stuff, in your opinion.

You enjoyed the seagulls cranking, and the sound of the waves brushing the sand.

As you were walking around, you jumped when you heard a crack under your sneaker. It was a hermit crab, and you have cracked his peachy, almost skull-colored shell.

"oh, nooo..." you mumbled, picking him up. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.." you whispered to the crab, hurrying to put it in a place where no one else could cause it more damage. You crouched down, your short dress reaching your thighs now.

As you were letting the crab go, you heard someone's step behind you. When you got up and turned on your heels, your face met a broad, muscular chest. Embarassed, you took a step back, finally looking at the man.

He seemed like a giant for you, and you felt so freaking infant in his presence. His piercing blue gaze made your words die in your throat, as you started fidgeting. He smiled, clearing his throat.

"Well, well...I haven't seen someone trying to save a poor creature so desperately." The man started. His voice sounded like thunder, deep and husky, sending shivers down your spine.

You looked down, cheeks flushing as you mumbled back akwardly "yeah, I-I...I like animals..."

He nodded in response, as he looked down at you. "I haven't seen you around before..." he declared, as you clenched your jaw, feeling his gaze burning holes through your skin.

"Y-yes, I'm on vacation with my friends" you admitted. You told him your name, as he hummed.

"I'm Thor. This island is quiet and we're not so many around... I live here, little one, I know everything" you blushed slightly at the nickname. "Maybe I can show you off this place, later today." Thor suggested. You nodded, as you opened your mouth to thank him. "We will come, sure..." You said. He arched his brows and asked "We...?" You nodded as he clenched his jaw, a possible hint of jealousness in his expression. "Y-yes, me and my friends...the ones I came with..." Thor looked at you deeply again, as a smirk curled his lips, but haven't reached his eyes. "Very well then, see you later, little one.."

You looked at him as he went further, putting on his suit and going in the ocean with his board. You started re-loading the conversation in your brain, as you returned to your hotel. All of a sudden, something else hit your mind. "Thor..." you thought "what an unusual name..."

You tried to fight the urge to ghost him and not come with your friend tonight, but he was just being nice....right?

🌩️🌩️🌩️

As Thor got in the water, he couldn't think of anything else besides you.

You were so innocent, so pure in your little dress, hair dancing in the wind. He groaned as he remember your legs, how the dress cupped your breasts perfectly, how sweet your smile was.

He felt himself getting harder, at the thought of you moaning his name, under him, bearing his children, having you all only to himself. From the moment he saw you walking on the beach, he wanted you, needed to have you. You were the one he wanted.

And he WILL have you, no matter what.

#dark!thor #black!y/n #fem!reader #marvel #black!reader #thor #dark!fic #dark!thor x reader

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strawheart-pirate · 5 months

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Letters

Shanks x gn!Reader

December 5th 2023 Words: 1009 CW: SFW / non/pre relationship, some rage, some alcohol, but most of all fluff

Writing a letter to Santa Claus. You were a pirate and Santa Claus was not even real. Why would you do that? Read and find out about a Christmas tradition of the Red Hair Pirates.

The Red Hair Pirates have a tradition. Everyone writes a letter to Santa Claus. Captain's orders. It was your first Christmas with them, and you frown as your captain stands on the railing and makes a solemn speech asking the crew to hand in their letters by tomorrow morning to be sent to Santa with a seagull. Shanks ends his speech with a toast, and everyone begins to cheer. Everyone except you. You stood there speechless. A bunch of grown men were happy when their captain told them to write letters? He must be joking. He must mean something else. A 'letter to Santa' has to be a code word for a special operation. I mean, we're talking about red-haired Shanks, one of the Emperors of the Seas. This can only be a bad joke...

"Captain, what does 'letter to Santa' mean?" You plucked up the courage to ask, but the moment you uttered your question, the crew fell silent. Everyone was silent except your captain. He laughed.

"It stands for a letter, written words on paper, a kind of wish list that we send to Santa Claus. Isn't that obvious?" He explained happily.

Your eyelid twitched. "Wait, you guys are serious? A letter to Santa Claus, the Santa Claus? How old are you all? He doesn't even exist!"

You were annoyed. They can't be serious. Why would an emperor's crew cling to such a childish tradition?

Your complaints fell on deaf ears, and your captain just laughed it off. He patted you on the shoulder as he walked past you. "I'll expect your letter by tomorrow morning, okay?" Before you could answer, he was gone, off to wherever. Your frown deepened and you clenched your hands. It wasn't that you didn't like Christmas, oh no, it was the pointlessness of the task.

"It's not that bad, you know." Lucky Roux came up to you, munching on a chicken wing.

"Are you listening to yourself? This is ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Why would I even write a letter to a fictional character? This is madness!" You were taking out your anger on him.

"You're taking it way too seriously. Even the captain writes one." Lucky Roux tried again, but you threw your hands in the air and stormed off. Maybe you shouldn't have joined them... there doesn't seem to be a single sane person on this ship...

Three hours later, you were panting and sweating from your workout. The bag took some strong blows and serotonin flooded your brain as exhaustion showed in your muscles. It felt good to throw punch after punch at the bag until your muscles refused to cooperate. With a smile on your face, you stepped into the bathroom. The warm water soothed your pain and eased your mind, and you felt like a new person when you stepped out of the shower.

As you walked back to your room, you saw that the door to Shanks' quarters was ajar, and you dared to peek inside. Shanks was sitting at his desk, a quill in his hand, and he seemed to be writing something. Maybe Lucky Roux was right... Thoughts flooded your mind and you found yourself knocking on his door.

"Captain?" You spoke, your voice barely above a whisper.

The moment Shanks heard your voice, he jumped out of his chair and opened the door to let you in. "Yes, it's me. Come on in." He led you to his sofa and you both sat down. "Would you like some sake?" He offered you his bottle.

You were taken aback. He was so friendly and welcoming, even though hours ago you had snapped at him in front of the entire crew. "Ah, no, thank you. I..." You were about to apologize and ask him your questions, but he interrupted.

"Have you finished your letter? I'm almost done with mine. I write one every year. And I always get what I want. I must be a good boy." He flashed his signature grin.

You couldn't help laughing. It amazed you how enthusiastic he was about the letter. No one would ever think that this strong man could act so childish.

"You want to talk about the letter, right? And don't worry, every member of the crew was just as confused and annoyed as you were." He smiled and took a sip of his sake.

"Oh... Yes, and I'm sorry." You wondered why he always seemed to know what was going on in your mind.

"It's all right." He laughed softly before becoming serious. "Look, I'm not going to force you to write a letter. If I did, it would defeat the purpose." He paused to take another sip of sake, and you wondered what intention he could have in asking his crew for letters. "Everyone on this ship is part of the crew, a family of sorts. Most of them had lives before they came to me, and they all dream and wish. They would never tell their captain, for the sake of the crew or the world, but everyone would tell Santa Claus. That's why I'm asking you to write letters. That's why even I am writing a letter," he explained, looking at you with a gentle gaze. He took another sip of sake.

You were speechless. You would never have thought of it, but he was right. You felt stupid for your outburst earlier, for cursing that letter and letting your anger get the better of you. You thanked your captain and went back to your room. As you lay down on your bed, you closed your eyes and welcomed sleep with open arms.

Later that night, you found yourself on your bed with a pad, paper, and a quill. The night light was on and you were in the process of writing your very own letter to Santa Claus. You were so deep in concentration that you didn't notice Shanks walking past your room. He was leaning against the doorframe, a gentle smile on his face as he watched you write your letter.

All content unless otherwise stated belongs to: ©Strawheart-pirate. Please do not copy / modify / translate / repost my writing, banners or art on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated! Snowflake banner by ©firefly-graphics

#one piece #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #shanks x reader #shanks x you #gn reader #fan fiction #sfw #strawheart-pirate.events #strawheart-pirate.christmas countdown 2023 #strawheart-pirate.writing

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brighter-by-the-daly · 8 months

Text

Rachel Daly x Reader

Part Twenty - On Top of the World

The team had settled into camp and were into the second week of training, the first game against Haiti was fast approaching. You had started a vlog to keep yourself busy while the girls were in training and often sat on the sidelines watching. After training you went to wait for Rachel outside, picking up a drink you laid down on the grass to soak up some sunshine while editing today’s videos. Flicking through the close ups of your girl, you didn’t see her approach until she slumped down beside you with a thud. Giving her thigh a squeeze she leant down to kiss you “you’re so sexy in your kit baby” you chimed showing her the videos you took of her, “look at those legs!” Zooming in on her muscles showing thanks to her new short socks trend, you rested your head on her thigh. “I can’t wait til they’re wrapped round my head again” looking up at her with a cheeky smile to see the reaction your statement had caused. Rachel instantly shot you a look with a serious expression trying to hide her smirk, “stop now” shutting you down bluntly. You giggled knowing you were both finding it hard not being intimate, it’ll be worth it though. It’s giving you time to get to know each other without every day starting or ending with sex, thus making your relationship stronger with every day.

“Aih up!” Millie’s voice turned both your heads away from the dirty thoughts in your minds. She threw her bag down next to you as she laid her head on your arm, “what we doing?” she asked rolling up the sleeves on her top. “Getting a tan, I’m not going back until I look like Beyoncé” you laughed, putting your arm next to theirs to compare skin colour. “What’s next on your agenda for today girls?” you asked, wondering if they had anything else scheduled for today “Nothing, we’re free to enjoy ourselves before the game tomorrow” Millie said delicately unfolding the time sheet in her pocket. The paper was barely held together and was on its last legs, you wondered how it was possible to even read it with how crumpled and faded it was. Throwing around ideas of how to spend their spare time, they asked you what you wanted to do. You’ve been on a few of Katie Zelem’s tours but haven’t explored with your people yet and asked to check out Sydney.

Walking along the harbour and seeing a seagull you couldn’t help but shout “MINE” repeatedly like the one in Finding Nemo which caused the others to start flying quotes from the Disney movie around too. All giggling your way along the harbour towards the Opera House arm in arm until you spotted a paraglider. Eyes flickered between each other’s face like you were thinking the same thing before sprinting towards the boat, climbing aboard and sailing out to sea. You were all strapped together before being lifted into the air - Rachel had her selfie stick, Millie had the go pro and you were just happy to be there. The driver dipped your toes in the water then lifted you all high up into the air so you could see for miles. Your spontaneity soon disappeared as the rope reached the full distance, Rachel and Millie were excitable until they noticed your silence and quickly clutched your hands to point out the dolphins down below. They reminded you it’ll be over soon and this is your only time to enjoy it, your hands in theirs blowing the anxiety away. “That was incredible! I can’t believe I just did that, in Australia of all places!!!” you screamed once you feet touched back down on the ground, your hands shaking from the adrenaline. You grabbed some dinner in a restaurant that over looked the harbour and watched the boats come and go until you spotted Mary, Jordan and Lucy getting on the paraglider too. Millie texted them when they came off to join you for a few mocktails, bringing with them an announcing that Sarina had planned a surprise at sunset.

Flagging down a taxi you bundled inside and headed over to the meeting place and were in shock as you turned into the car park. Seeing helicopters lined up in a row with Sarina standing next to them made her look even smaller than usual. Standing back to take photos of the girls with one of them you were shocked when the coach asked if you and Rach wanted to go alone or with Millie. “I’m not part of the team Sarina” you said to her, not expecting to be including in the club outing. “Maybe not, but you’re part of this family” she insisted as Millie shouted “I’ll go with you then boss!” dragging her over to one too. Sarina felt like a mother to the team and she wasn’t going to have one of her children left out.

Taking off felt a little wobbly but you couldn’t wait to see Sydney from above again! It was as mesmerising as you had imagined, higher up than you were earlier your fingers interlocked as Rachel pointed out where different things were. You tried to take everything in knowing you’d probably never do this again in your lifetime and wanted to be as present as possible.

Arriving back onto land Rachel held out her hand for you to jump from the helicopter back onto the ground. Stumbling a little as she steadied you, tucking your hair behind your ears that had flopped in front of your eyes. Rachel stroked your face then cupped your cheeks, sharing a silent intimate moment. Gazing up at your girl you have never felt more loved by a person, she made you the happiest you have ever been and you couldn’t imagine doing all these things with someone else. “I’m obsessed with you” she admitted resting her forehead on yours making a smile spread across your face. Losing yourself in her beautiful blue eyes, a wave of emotion washed over you making your eyes well up. “Hey what’s this?” she pouted cutely, lifting your chin so she could study your face. “I’m just so happy it makes me want to cry” you told her between little sobs. “I guess that’s allowed” she said wiping your tears away and kissing your forehead. Wrapping her arms around your shoulders she pulled you into her chest as your hands rested on her hips. And that’s where you stayed, for how long you’re unsure, it could have been seconds, minutes or hours but what you did know is that you wanted to spend the rest of your life in these arms. You turned your head to kiss her bicep then lifted your chin to kiss her deeply, never loosening her grip around you. “I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you (y/n)” she whispered between kisses. “I’ll love you forever Rachel Ann Daly” “til the world stops going round” she finished with a kiss on the tip of your nose.

You were both too wrapped up in each other to notice the club photographer was capturing your moment from afar. Neither of you were fans of PDA so as the rest of the team started to land you broke apart, switching to simply holding hands and joining the group who were reeling from the excitement. Thanking Sarina as everyone dispersed back to the bus the photographer approached you. “I hope you don’t mind but I thought these were beautiful” showing you her camera screen as she flicked through the photos of you both standing in front of the helicopter with the sunset in the background. “These are absolutely gorgeous!” you gasped in awe of her talent. On the drive back to the hotel she sent you the photos to admire, the bus was loud with chatter after an adrenaline filled day but Rach’s head was resting on your shoulder as you admired the candids in blissful silence.

Once back at the hotel you had made your way back to your room, laying on your bed you chose which photos to upload and captioned it “I’ve never felt more alive than I do with you 😍💜” As hundreds of comments flooded in thick and fast there was a knock at the door, opening it to see Rachel’s cute little face. “Hello love of my life” she said seductively stepping towards you which made your heart skip a beat and a sigh leave your lips in adoration for your girlfriend. “I can’t wait to go away just us after this” you pandered pulling her by her shirt into the room as she wrapped her limbs around your body. “Me neither, we still haven’t decided where” plastering your neck with kisses. Slipping out of her grasp to avoid being turned on you lead her to the sofa, draping her body on top of you to flick through holidays on the tablet. You landed on Jamaica which you both agreed on, booking it then and there making you both excited to spend some quality time with each other with no distractions. Stroking her hair she slowly succumbed to napping on your chest, watching her for a little while before giving in to your heavy eyelids too.

You awoke at a knock at the door and Millie shouting that it was dinner time from the other side, you both stretched and rolled off the sofa to get ready to go down. Spotting Mary you ran over to her showing her a tiktok dance you’ve learnt while they were training yesterday and asked if she wanted to do it. After dinner the four of you all filmed together, laughing at Rachel’s moves every time which took you ten times longer to film. “Are you feeling ready for Haiti tomorrow?” you asked after you all collapsed on a heap on the floor. “We’re ready for anything!” they chimed in unison, “Haiti ain’t gonna know what’s hit them!” Gathering yourselves up off the floor you made your way back to the rooms and congregated in Mary’s for a while before going back to your rooms for an early night. Rachel walked you back to your room talking about how her and a lot of girls stay off social media for the tournament but you can continue posting as normal. She asked if you’d manage her socials for her too which you agreed to.

She stood back to watch you open your door before losing control for a second, pushing you inside and against the wall kissing you passionately. Her hands roamed over your body making you forget where you were for a moment and enjoy the intense encounter. You had longed for this for weeks but you have to obey Sarina’s rules as you didn’t want to get kicked out. Reluctantly pushing Rachel off of you, “we shouldn’t be doing this” you said regretfully. “There’s nothing wrong with a kiss is there baby?” she said slowly between neck kisses making you smirk as you shook your head. Her lips finding yours again in an uncontrollable exchange until you both called it quits before you got carried away. “Good luck tomorrow, not that you need it” you poked her stomach, “I’ll see you at the game, score for me yeah?” planting a subtle kiss on her cheek. “Anything for you (y/n/n)” raising your hand to her lips and kissing it gently before heading back to her own room. Not long after she left your phone pinged that Rachel tagged you in a post, using photos from your trip already she explained she was passing over the controls to you for the tournament.

Sure enough the first game of the tournament, your girl scored 3 out of 5 goals against Haiti, Mary didn’t concede any which lead them to top their group. Rachel came away with the match ball and was interviewed after the game which was played out to the stadium, she thanked her team for allowing and assisting with her hatrick but your ears pricked up when you heard her cheeky voice over the tannoy - “this ball is for my girlfriend, she told me to score for her today so this is rightfully hers.” You chuckled to yourself knowing everyone back home would have seen that and messages would be flooding your phone soon. A short time later Rachel came skipping over, presenting the ball to you while leaning in for a kiss. You found out later than someone behind you had filmed the exchange and posted it to tiktok as ‘POV: Rachel Daly is your girlfriend’. As has come to be expected, Rachel took you back to the changing room with her where she was greeted with cheers, the party in full swing, the team recording on their phones which meant you were in the background of most making you more visible on social media. Sarina gave a match review and discussed the next game against Denmark - a team they know very well.

Back at the hotel, you joined Rachel and Millie in their room, tossing the match ball between your hands you asked what players do with them - you’d been wondering that for years! “Usually just stuffed in a cupboard” Millie laughed, “we should display them in our future house, we could get plaques for each one - what game, score, maybe get the team who played to sign? I think that’d make a cute display yknow” you pondered, flopping down on the bed. “Not a bad idea that, you don’t like my house then?” Rachel laughed “well that’s yours isn’t it, not ours” you said shyly, second guessing your words. “Oh I see, a ball isn’t enough for you anymore” she joked with a silly voice, “well I can’t wear a ball on my finger can I!” your announcement made everyone laugh, “she’s got a point there Rach” Millie backed you up.

Part 21 - Power Couple

#rachel daly #lionesses #woso x reader #woso masterlist #rachel daly x reader #millie bright #woso fanfics #lionesses x reader #england wnt x reader #mary earps

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daydreamgoddess14 · 10 months

Text

Landslide pt. 1

MASTERLIST here

Summary: Jason approaches a singer/songwriter about a request for Ted Lasso Season 3.

Jason Sudeikis/Reader Insert (OFC, no use of y,n/l,n)

Rating: General for now... we'll see how it goes 🤭

Disclaimer: I absolutely own none of these songs, I also don’t want to diminish Sam Ryder’s contribution in creating Fought and Lost. This is all completely fictional. I also know nothing about the music industry so this is drowning in artistic license!

Playlist Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1crFZfdqL1fspNXb80u5sK?si=e90f5f8f357b4647

It leans very Swift heavy but also has songs that I feel fit the main character and her style. I've never created a playlist for a fic before but it seemed appropriate given the main character's profession.

Songs used in Chapter 1:

If I had a gun - Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds (piano cover version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xvoxDXxdok)

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac (piano cover version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5JP43fk_SM)

Chapter 1

“Have you checked your emails yet?” A voice sounded through your apartment.

“Not yet, why - anything good in there?” You ask, your head deep in the fridge searching for eggs.

“Marcus wants to talk to you, he said he’s text you?”

“Yeah, he wanted me to show up at a couple of his Canadian dates but I’ll be in Spain. Or France... Europe, I’ll be somewhere in Europe.” You emerge somewhat triumphant, a two egg omlette will have to surfice.

“You’ll be in South America actually.” Your assistant Lily takes a seat at the counter and slides a coffee over to you.

“Oh. Well, I won’t be in Canada that’s for sure. I already told him I couldn’t do it, I wonder why he’s still asking.” Lily passes your phone over and goes back to attempting to tackle your inbox while you drop a message to Marcus.

Hey, sorry I missed you. Can’t do Canada - I’m in South America that week. Thought we’d talked about it already? Would love to catch up with you & Carey when you’re back in L.A though. Let me know xx

You’d actually met Carey long before Marcus. The same age, you’d crossed paths a lot in your early and mid twenties when she’d been an up-coming actress and you’d been a struggling musician. You’d drowned many, many sorrows together in dingy South London pubs, you’d been in the audience at her first performance of The Seagull in London and you’d followed her to New York to watch her Broadway debut. In contrast, she’d cheered you on in dark clubs and pubs for endless weeks and months. When she’d reconnected with Marcus, he’d tagged along to a couple of gigs and asked you to join the band for a number of their shows. Eventually you were added to the billing on your own, and supported them on a range of tour dates. From there, your career had really taken off. Now, you were regularly selling out arenas and festivals. Next on the masterplan was a worldwide stadium tour, but that was some way off. First you had music to write for a new album and a summer of festival appearances planned.

“Aha! Figured it out!”

“Did we miss an email?”

“Not entirely, it went to junk so it’s not really your fault. Or mine.”

“What is it?” You ask, pushing the eggs around the pan.

“Hang on, just reading now… It’s from a Tom Howe?” You look blankly in reply, the name sounds vaguely familiar but you’ve no idea where from. “Hi, I’m trying to get in contact with you regarding Ted Lasso season 3. Jason came across some of your older work and the sound is a great fit for the show. He asked if I could reach out to you to discuss further. You also come highly recommended by Marcus Mumford who I believe is a friend we all have in common. Don’t hesitate to give me a call on the number below or reach out via email. We don’t have too long on this so would appreciate speaking with you. Best, Tom” Lily finishes reading the email on her device just as your phone rings.

“Do you just not read your emails, or?”

“I’m a bit behind! It’s been a busy few weeks.” You dump the eggs onto a plate and team them with a toasted muffin.

“Ah yeah, the life of a superstar.”

“You should know, you’ve sold out more gigs than me.”

“Not true… maybe still true but not for much longer.”

“If you say so. How are you? How’s Carey and the kids?”

“All good here, they’re missing you though.”

“I’m back in a few weeks, we’ll have a day out. Lily just read me the email from Tom.” “What do you think?” “I’ve no idea, I need to hear it again. How on earth did you think of me?”

“I didn’t. Well, I did. I play your stuff all the time. We were working on Season 3 and it just so happened that Jason heard some of your really early stuff and liked it. He asked if I thought you’d work with us so I said I’d ask - or rather Tom would.”

“That makes sense. He said something about a tight timescale?”

“Kind of, the show premieres next month but we’re thinking of you for the back half of the season so wouldn’t need anything from you till early May.”

“Do I get an idea of what you need?” “That’s where you’re better off talking to Tom and Jason. I daren’t spill any secrets, I’m not getting in trouble.”

“Ok, I’ll get in touch with Tom and set something up. Is he based in L.A?”

“He’s there at the moment, yeah. Why, are you still in New York?”

“Yeah, I’m here til the 13th I think? But I might be able to get there early.” You reply, looking to Lily for confirmation who nodded, stealing the last bit of your muffin.

“Ok, definitely call Tom, cos if the timing won’t work then he’ll need to think of something else. Let me know. I’m in L.A at the same time as you so we’ll catch up.”

“Love to Carey and the babes.”

“See ya darlin’.”

“Right, I’d better read that email again properly before I call anyone else.” You sit next to Lily who opens the email back up for you. You can see that Marcus and what appears to be Jason have both been copied in. It had been sent earlier the following week so had been stagnating in your junk folder for about 6 days. “Shit.” You mumble, realising. “What’s the time in L.A?”

“Umm 8.30am.” Lily checks. “Acceptable enough for a work related call?”

“Fuck it, I’ll leave a message if it’s not.” You read the number from the email and dial it from your phone, taking a deep breath. “Hi, can I speak to Tom please?” Tom was, it turned out, really lovely. You’d grown up not a million miles away from each other in various parts of London and he was a similar age to your older brothers. You instantly felt at ease with his good humour and musical knowledge. He’d explained that they were looking for a specific song to be used towards the very end of the season in a highly emotional moment. Though he and Jason had heard your recent music, it wasn’t until they’d been with Marcus who was listening to your much older back catalogue that the penny had dropped for all of them. In the days that had followed, Marcus had given them a masterclass of sorts, sending them copies of your early work and showing them how it had grown as you had and how your new music still has similar themes and styles. You’d blushed furiously while pacing in your apartment. Marcus hadn’t exactly been telling the truth about just how in depth your music had been discussed in recent days. You admitted that you wouldn’t be in L.A for another two weeks and questioned whether it would be a problem, he thought not and you’d promised to respond to his email. You hung up feeling elated at the prospect of a new project to get stuck into.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected], [email protected]

Subject: New Project

Date: 27th February 2023

Hi Tom,

It was great to finally speak to you earlier, I apologise for missing your email - thankfully Marcus set me straight. From what you’ve said this project sounds really interesting, I’d love to hear more about it. As discussed, I’ll be in L.A from 13th March but can be there earlier if you have time? I know that’s pretty close to the premiere so I understand if you think we can’t fit this in - there’ll always be something else! On the off chance I am still in luck, I’m going to spend a couple of days binge watching 🙂

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

CC: [email protected], [email protected]

Subject: RE: New Project

Date: 27th February 2023

Hey,

Thanks for reaching out, I won’t speak for Tom on how much time we have, but I really want to make this work so happy to hang on for as long as possible. Here’s hoping you can turn a track around in 24hrs, I guess?! It would be great to meet with you as soon as you can make it to L.A, then you could also attend the premiere if that sounds OK? I'll get the details sent over to you. We can meet first and then figure out next steps. Don’t worry about timing, that's on me.

You’d received a reply within minutes. Literally minutes, and you were buzzing. It was from Jason himself. You’d only been half joking about binge watching, you’d done that already with Season 1 but had run out of time recently for Season 2. Now you were even more itching to watch it. Though you had no idea of storyline or what kind of song they were looking for, you could tinker with melodies and riffs. Tom had talked specifically about family, love and fighting for what you believe in so you could use those basic prompts to get you started. Over the following week, you'd worked on some new music and planned to bring your trip to L.A forward by a week. You were going to be there for up to 4 weeks. The information had come through inviting you to the season 3 premiere of Ted Lasso, so you'd made sure to catch up on season 2 just in time. But first came the initial meeting with Jason and Tom. You almost wished you could get away with waiting till the premiere but knew that wasn't realistic and you could totally understand why they'd want to get to know you sooner. L.A afforded you a little more anonymity than New York and with Tom's studio as the meeting place, you had a reasonable cover for being there if you were to get noticed by anyone. You slipped out of your Uber and followed a path through a pretty little courtyard. You'd gone for a denim skirt and Bon Jovi t-shirt, it felt miles warmer in L.A and you'd tricked your body into believing that Spring had fully arrived. You pressed the door buzzer and waited patiently. Lily had offered to go with you but you were still very much unused to having a real life assistant and still attended most meetings, interviews and events alone.

"Hey, you made it! Come in, I'm Tom. You're alone?"

"Yeah, it's easier to go unnoticed." You smiled stepping into the entryway.

"I wouldn't know, thankfully no one knows who I am."

"After the few months I've had, I'd wish the same thing." You follow Tom through the building, a handful of offices, a small kitchen and then into a corridor with a recording studio on either side.

"I don't pretend to keep up with gossip so I'll just have to take your word for it." He admits, you're grateful for that. It had been a rough 6 months or so. Your last relationship with a well known actor had ended abruptly - in that you'd escaped. He'd then leaked all over social media and outlets such as Deux Moi that you were 'emotionally unavailable', 'manipulative' and 'high maintenance'. He'd placed horrible, false comments that you'd supposedly made about your fans and friends, and he'd tried to alienate everyone against you. There had been a pile-on of negative press about you. Say nothing the management team had said, do nothing, stay calm and quiet they'd insisted it'll blow over. Bullshit. You'd gotten a little drunk and joined a friend in playing a dumb Tik Tok game where she'd asked what your 'Ick' was… you'd replied "Boyfriends who gaslight you and are emotionally and mentally abusive and then try to blame you in the media to make everyone hate you'' with an arched eyebrow and a knowing look. She'd posted it to Tik Tok and within minutes Twitter was ablaze with your retort. It had completely taken over the press tour for his new movie and overshon his interviews. Other exes of his had posted similar confirmations and praise of you on their socials. You’d then gone totally dark on the subject and not commented any further. Your team were still picking up the pieces from the escapade but you had so far been hailed a bit of a hero and it appeared that people were leaning more on your side now than they had been. It was only a matter of time before he’d produce some other lies though, at which point you fully expected that you’d have to go public and go all in on substantiating your initial comments. The how and the when preyed on your mind heavily. Tom led you into the studio on the right, a huge mixing desk took up much of the space but there were a couple of desks and sofas, space for downtime and collaboration. Beyond the mixing desk you could see into the studio itself with its acoustic panels and sound deadening equipment. Jason sat at the mixing desk, elbows up on the table typing on his phone. He turned and smiled at the sound of the door opening.

"Hey, glad you could make it. I'm Jason." You hold out your hand to shake his, his large hand engulfing yours. Your skin instantly felt like it had been set alight. He was tall, broad and ridiculously handsome. Binge watching the show had given you an almighty crush, so you'd sought out his other work too. Once you'd found out how funny he was, you were done for. Get a fucking hold of yourself you thought. It had not been so long since a man had touched you that you should be this affected by him. But, oh those eyes. And that smile is really something. He takes off his baseball cap and drags his fingers through his dark hair, greying at the temples and if you’d focused for any longer than half a second on that alone you couldn’t be held responsible for your actions. He greets you like he's known you for years and as Tom gets the meeting going, he's charming, attentive and so quick witted it makes your head spin a little. "I'm looking for a song specifically about the relationship between hope and failure and perseverance. That's the basic outline at least - I can't tell you much more than that." He apologises. You whip out your phone,

"Just taking some notes, that OK? I get it, you don't want some rando knowing the ending." He motions for you to go ahead, smiling as your fingers frantically move across the screen on your notes app.

"Yeah you might spill the beans on Twitter."

"It was Tik Tok actually."

"Ah how's it go? 'Tik Tok made me do it'?"

"And a lot of wine." You smirk, "Can I ask, how you feel about season 3 generally? For the song, I promise I'm not fawning over you to get information."

"I don't know if it's the end of the end, if that makes sense. It could carry on in different ways."

"I'm just trying to figure out if it’s a goodbye to the characters, or to this chapter of their lives… from what you've said the song needs to be really personal. I want to make sure the emotion is there. Are you really sure I'm the right person for this?"

"I'm sure. I've heard enough of your music to know that this is what we need, I know you're more than capable. Between what you can do and what Tom already knows I need, I'm completely confident." Tom nods in agreement having stayed silent for much of your conversation.

"So is this like The Voice? Do you guys have a list of people to see?" Tom laughed,

"Not at all, we're hoping you're it to be honest. Though since you're here it would be great to hear you sing if you're happy with that?"

"I didn't bring anything with me, so as long as you don't mind sharing your piano or a guitar?"

"It's all yours." He gestures into the other room and you head through nervously. They both join you, not wanting to listen via speakers. You stop for water first, and then flip through your notebook to find a suitable song, settling on something reasonably new but not so well known. You'd been performing for the best part of 20 years, you knew every note, every line, but performing in front of two people was about a million times more nerve wracking than two hundred people, or even two hundred thousand people which was exactly what you had lined up in the summer at Glastonbury. You closed your eyes, honed in on the piano at first, allowing yourself an extended intro to give you time to compose yourself.

If I had a gun,

I'd shoot a hole into the sun,

and love would burn this city down for you.

If I had the time,

I'd stop the world and make you mine,

and everyday would stay the same with you

Hope I didn't speak too soon,

my eyes have always followed you around the room.

'Cus you're the only God that I will ever need,

I'm holding on and waiting for the moment

for my heart to be unbroken by the sea

You didn't play the full song but it was one you were extremely proud of. You let the piano trail off and risked a glance at Jason and Tom who were grinning at each other. Jason let out a whistle,

"Y'know how you always wonder how people are gonna sound when they sing live and it sometimes doesn't live up to expectations?" He said mostly to Tom. You’re stomach dropped, oh god, were you about to fall into that camp?

"Yeah. Yeah that was pretty special." Tom agreed, vocalising Jason's thoughts. You breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank fuck for that. I haven't done that one for ages. You scared me then!” You said more to Jason.

"It's a beautiful song. I could just use that for the show to be honest, but I'd regret not working with you on something original." Tom said, as he did so, his phone rang so he left to take the call, “Sorry, be right back.”

“Any chance of another song?”

“I don’t see why not, while we’re waiting for Tom.” You flipped back through the notebook again, this time choosing a classic cover you’d done for years and years. It had been one of the first songs you’d learned and the lyrics seemed to change meaning for you in different chapters of your life so that it always fit you.

I took my love, I took it down

I climbed a mountain and I turned around

And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills

'Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky

What is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

“Holy shit.” He mumbled, sitting on the piano bench next to you. You could see through the glass that Tom was still on the phone. You run your hands over the keys playing mindless notes and melodies, no real intention behind, just filling the comfortable silence. You feel him leaning against you a little as he watches you play, the narrow bench not quite big enough for two.

“I played it with Stevie Nicks once.” You say quietly. “I actually thought I was going to die. It’s like I have this black hole in my memory, where I remember meeting her and then I remember coming off stage and we had a couple of drinks together, but I can’t for the life of me remember actually singing it with her.”

“I think that’s probably to be expected. Our brains do weird shit and make us feel like idiots.”

“That is definitely the truth.”

"I would really like to get to know you a little better while you work on this," Jason admitted almost hesitantly, "if that's OK with you?"

"I'd like that a lot." You smile, he returns it, relieved.

“So how did it go?” Lily asks when you call her from the Uber ride home. You’d stayed far longer than any of you had probably anticipated, throwing ideas around and experimenting with melodies. You can’t help but gush over just how much fun you’ve had - probably for the first time in weeks.

“I can’t wait to get started, they were both so welcoming.”

“And Jason?” Lily asked, knowing about your crush. You pause slightly, it’s been hard to know who you can actually talk to recently. With your ex on a campaign to smear your reputation, it’s hard to know who is really on your side. You know that the comments he’s made are all false but it still worries you that some people will believe him over you.

“He’s just… lovely. And my god he’s gorgeous, like up close in person? He’s insanely handsome. I felt like a creep staring at him!” Lily giggled along with you,

“Oh my god, I didn’t realise this crush was like a full on crush?!”

“Neither did I!” You admit. “Tom had to take a call so we were just mucking around at the piano for ages.”

“You had to sing?”

“Of course I did! They want to know that I’ll be the right fit for what they need.”

“What did you sing? How was it?” Lily knew you hadn’t sung properly for weeks, you were rusty and unprepared and it made you anxious just thinking about it.

“I did ‘If I had a gun’ and ‘Landslide’. It went ok, my voice is a bit rough, but nothing some decent exercises won’t help.”

“Classics! I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you. I wasn’t expecting this… connection. It’s weird, like he saw me immediately, like he’d known me forever. I feel like someone’s just plugged me back into real life.”

“You should write a song about that.” She teased.

“Well, I need to. They want to move forward with me so I need to bring my A game.” You reply, anticipation fizzing in your belly.

~~~~~~~~

Let me know what you think! I'm excited to get started on this 😊 As usual, my inbox is open!

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