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thehusbandoden · 9 months

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You Flinch During an Argument -Amajiki Tamaki

A/n: so sorry this took so long! I had a good thing going but my power went out and it got erased </3

I do think this one's better though. Technically this is the third legitimate try <33

Edit: I'm trying out a new format for my info.. is it better or worse O.o

General info:

Wc: 1,176 words | angst to fluff/comfort | Character/s: Tamaki Amajiki

Warnings!: loneliness, snapping, flinching, a little bit of crying. Please let me know if I miss any! <3

The night was cold as you sleepily flipped through your journal, not wanting to write but knowing you should. The entries from the last three months have been short and filled with a dull ache of lonliness. They lacked the usual length and warmth you poured into the pages, ranting on about how sweet your timid Tamaki is and how much you adore him and his ever lasting warmth.

The rambling would go on and on, but now you wrote a paragraph or two about how your life has been 'fine' and that Tamaki has been super busy- if you wrote at all.

There was one or two that held multiple paragraphs of your frustration and not knowing who to blame- knowing that it wasn't Tamaki's fault that there weren't enough heroes to protect the innocent of your large city.

Tamaki was doing his best to protect the defenseless, and you admired that- but the dull ache that sat in the pit of your stomache couldn't go ignored much longer.

Sighing, you closed your journal, standing up from your desk to head to the living room, deciding to talk to Tamaki tonight.

Four hours later Tamaki walked through the front door, tall form drained from exhaustion as he made his way inside, already stripping off his hero gear.

"Tama?" You call, poking your head out from the living room to sadly smile at your Tamaki.

"Oh. Hey y/n." Tamaki yawned, dropping both his cape and mask onto the floor as he dragged his feet towards your room, tossing his belt onto the kitchen table before moving onto taking off his gear further.

"Wait, Tamaki!" You call, stopping at the bottom of the stairs as Tamaki paused, looking back at you.

"Yes bunny?"

"Ummm.. can we talk?" You ask, smiling at the nickname Tamaki gave you the first week into your marriage- though he later admitted that he thought of it when you two were simply friends but was too shy up until that point-.

"Baby, I'm really tired.. is it important?"

"Yes.. it'll only take five to ten mintues."

"Okay baby, where do you want to talk?" Tamaki yawned.

"How about the living room? I can give you a shoulder massage while we talk if you like." You smile, causing Tamaki's eyes to shine as he smiled down at you.

"I'd like that."

After you were both situated you started by squirting some lotion on your hands before spreading it onto Tamaki's left shoulder, immediately noticing his many knots.

"Okay bunny, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh.. so I know that you're working really hard and are really tired.. and I also know that we haven't had us time in a while.. so I was wondering if you could take a day or two off? Not much, just a day or two would be fine."

Tamaki was silent as you bit your lip in anticipation, hoping you didn't upset him somehow.

"Y/n.. are you serious?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you know how many people might be dying right now? I can't just laze about spending time with you because you're feeling lonely. Why don't you go hang out with some friends?"

"T-that's not the same.."

"How so?"

"I want to spend time with you Tamaki. You know, my husband?" You scoff, starting to get annoyed.

"And I want to spend time saving people y/n, why don't you stop being sensitve and start thinking about other people?"

"But I've been holding my feelings back for months! Please! I'm just asking for a day- even a few hours is fine!"

"Y/n. No. Now if you're done I'd like to get to bed."

Jerking his shoulder away from your touch, Tamaki started standing up.

"But wait Tama-"

"No. I'm disappointed in your selfishness y/n."

"Wai-"

"Stop."

"Pl-"

"I said stop!" Tamaki hissed, turning around to face you within a second.

At the sudden movement and change of tone you flinched back, tears gathering in your eyes as you stared up at Tamaki, eyes wide.

As Tamaki glared down at you he froze as you flinched, heart immediately breaking as he saw the tears in the corners of your eyes.

"Y-y-y/n I-"

"I-it's okay Tamaki.. you don't need to say anything. I get it. I-I'll just go to bed now."

"B-but y-y/n.." Tamaki whimpered, guilt consuming him as he watched you walk away.

"Y-y/n.. I'm sorry.."

You quickly got in bed after hurrying up the stairs, wiping at your eyes as you clung to your pillow, staying as far away from Tamaki's side as possible.

You awoke the next morning to the sun shining in your eyes.

Wincing, you turned around to feel for Tamaki, forgetting all about last night and the dreadful few months.

After feeling how cold Tamaki's side of the bed you sighed, memories coming to you in flashes as you stared at his side of the bed.

Wiping away the stray tears, you got out to get ready for a day worse than the one yesterday.

After getting dressed you made your way down stairs, deciding to get on top of your piling to-do list to help get your mind off of Tamaki.

Stepping into the kitchen, you stepped back at the sight of a lavish breakfast filled with all of your favorites spread across the newly cleaned kitchen table.

"T-Tamaki.." you whimper, looking at your beloved with tearful eyes as he guilty studied you with his indigo orbs.

"Y-y/n I-"

You interrupted Tamaki as you rushed into his arms, clutching the back of his shirt, desperate for comfort from the man you've grown to adore.

"Y/n I- I'm so so sorry." Tamaki mumbled, burying his face into your hair to mask the tears falling from his eyes.

"I forgive you Tamaki, I know you were just over worked and didn't mean to take it out on me."

"I promise you- I really didn't me an to, a-and I feel terrible about it."

"Shhh it's okay baby.. I already forgave you. We just need to reflect on what we did wrong tonight and make sure not to do it in the future. Next time, I'll wait until you're less exhausted, and you'll make sure to remind me that you're too tired, mkay?"

"O-okay.."

"Now baby.. why are you home? Don't you have work?"

"Nope, I took the next two weeks and a half off. I know that it won't make up for the months of loneliness, but I'll try to be better, I"ll take less shifts and make sure to only leave for emergencies when I'm off the clock.

"Alright, that's a good start."

"I may need today and possibly tomorrow to sleep.. but I cleaned the entire house -besides our room- and looked at your to- do list and did a few of the bigger things on there.. oh and I made us breakfast.."

"Tamaki. I love you. So, so much."

"I love you too bunny. I'm really rea-"

"Shh, I already said I forgive you. Now, let's eat!"

~~~

Series' masterlist | Tamaki's masterlist | Navigation

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Reblogs help spread and support my work, therefore they help me immensely but any support is appreciated <33

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liauditore · 9 months

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If only you would hate me, but it's too late for maybe. Acting like I just don't care and yet I'm feeling everything.

You say you've had enough, I thought Bad Boys like it rough?

inspired by these mikus 🥺

(suggestive lyrics for both the links, more details + some rambling under the cut)

cw for the song: you probably won't catch anything if you're just listening casually but both translations are pretty horny and use cannibalism (something something vampire) as a metaphor for sex so uh yeah 👍(micchi's cover's lyrics are ESPECIALLY UNSUBTLE abt it)

++ listening even deeper/going into lyrical analysis depending on how you see it the singer is either in a two-way toxic relationship or emotionally abusing/manipulating their partner. The singer themselves also def has some self-destructive tendencies.

SO UH this song's a bit on the "uh oh this is too horny for me to make an mv with" side BUT I did say I was gonna draw more rarepairs that only I see + these translyrics put together brainrot me so hard on these two and their respective 3L partnerships so I stole cherrifire's idea basically. Might do more of these (making full mvs is hard and I have too many ideas,.....,,,,,). weeb songs 👍

I can write like ten paragraphs explaining my thoughts but for the sake of not making this post any longer I'll spare you today. be warned if u ask i WILL ramble on abt it.

version w/o blood

#my art #scott smajor #grian #cw blood #trafficshipping #<-- kind of????#i never know what to tag as shipping sobs #trafficblr #the song itself to me alludes to flower husbands and desertduo #but also these two are uh.. they're a way with eachother #and the way i drew them has Vibes #but also everything i draw has Vibes #so uh yeah #also yes grian is That short to me #trafficvocabrainrot

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alexanderlightweight · 11 months

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I am IN LOVE with dragon Alec and snow leopard Magnus 🙈 They are so cuddly and so cute and adorable. I’d love to please see kinda jealous Alec when he meets Chairman….or maybe Alec realising his feelings for Magnus? (sexual or not, I think I saw he was demi somewhere?). Thank you! This mini fic is such a treat <3

i'm glad you love it so much! i also am loving writing it so i'm happy to write more! i love all my verses, mind you, but there is just something about character who can shift into animals that i just love. i also love predator/prey vibes as well so they tie in well together.

also i love exploring the difference in instincts etc.

(i write demi-alec into pretty much anything. it's actually the walls of adoration, claws of desperation. i mentioned he's 'super-demi' in that verse (kind of like i'm always ace but sometimes i'm super-ace - @saeths says this makes sense and agrees that this happens w/me frequently).

but yeah it's probably going to take Magnus to make a move because Alec is like just going to follow his lead and will probably wake up naked and curled up with Magnus at some point - and this will have been happening for weeks at this point - and realize he's incredibly sexually interested in Magnus. before that, he just wanted to have sex cause he enjoyed the intimacy of it and adores Magnus and thinks he's beautiful and likes being as close to him as possible and he also loves being able to help magnus feel good.

Magnus before Alec realizes he's sexually attracted to magnus: sleeping with alexander is amazing

magnus after alec realizes he's sexually attracted to magnus: sleeping with alexander is amazing but neither of us are going to be able to keep this pace

... yeah i started rambling again. oops. (saeth teases me because i wrote 'just one more sentence in one of my ask answers' and then proceeded to write paragraphs more)

but anyways, i hope you enjoy

<3 lumine

ps - ask your ace friends if they know if love game by lady gaga is a sex song. if they say no??? wdym??? they're super ace. -@saeths

It’s the screaming the alerts Magnus to a problem.

Well, the yowling really.

He looks up from his book and over to see if whatever cat fight on his balcony is happening has upset Alexander, except his boy is no longer there.

Magnus snaps the book shut with a scowl, because he’s Magnus Fucking Bane and yet he can’t even corral his own fucking dragon long enough to read a chapter.

If Alexander has once again slipped away to the roof, Magnus will be tempted to destroy the damn thing. Or, more likely, turn his entire loft into a garden so that Alexander won’t ever need to leave wherever Magnus is.

Before he can hunt down his dragon however, he has to deal with the still screaming cats.

Or at least, that is the plan until there is a sudden roar, the kind that makes even Magnus’ spine tingle with the promise of a powerful predator.

Magnus waits for a moment and then he sighs, pinching his nose before he walks around the balcony to the other side, where the cats are.

Or… where the cats should be.

Alexander is sitting, looking smug and caracal sized as he preens, watching the alley below. Magnus steps close and looks over, staring at the ten or so cats fleeing his building.

“Was that really necessary?” Magnus asks, intending it to be a tease and he’s given an affronted, irritated scowl. It’s adorable on Alexander in such a small form but Magnus winces mentally, because apparently it was necessary.

Alexander doesn’t normally look at him so seriously.

“They were encroaching.” Alexander bites out, shifting to human form, his scowl looking even more like a pout as he crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the railing. “Trespassing.”

Magnus would love to point out that Alexander was also originally a trespasser, but since he’s still trying to slowly figure out how to keep Alexander close, he chooses not to.

“They’re stray cats, treasure.” Magnus murmurs, because he’s noticed that Alexander enjoys specific terms of endearment.

Things that reference power, riches, hoards… all the things’ dragons adore.

“They’re vermin.” Alexander sulks, giving Magnus a petulant look, “they’ve been shedding all over you.”

Magnus pauses as he suddenly has a better understanding of the problem and it sends a thrill through him, at the idea that Alexander is jealous of all things.

“You’re absolutely correct,” Magnus snaps his fingers as he speaks, ignoring Alexander’s suddenly skeptical glower. “Absolute vermin, pests.” And then, because he knows exactly how to distract him, he adds, “do you know, darling? I think they might not be here for the milk, perhaps they’re actually after the koi.”

Alexander — who is incredibly protective of the magical fish who provide him snacks — turns back, glaring at the now empty alley below and he’s hissing.

Magnus wasn’t aware the human body was capable of making noises like that and he reminds himself to brew some good tea with honey.

“At least you’d never harm my koi,” Magnus teases, because he adores his little trespassing dragon. Alexander barely hears him, too focused on the street below. Magnus watches him for a minute and then sighs, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Come treasure, back inside.”

Alexander doesn’t turn, even though the soothing tone Magnus uses normally works to coax him. He shakes his head, still glaring with slightly glowing eyes at the street below.

“Alexander—” Magnus purrs as he presses a little closer, pressing the warmth of his body against his boy, “the fire is on. Come with me.”

“I’m staying here, to make sure whatever you did works.” Alexander looks stubbornly apologetic, and Magnus doesn’t even let the doubt bother him, too shocked to care.

“You are not staying out here all night, watching to make sure the cats don’t come back.”

“They’re after the koi, Magnus.” Alexander looks as if he’s ready to turn back into dragon form and go hunt them down and Magnus reminds himself — once again — to never underestimate a dragon’s devotion to their snacks.

“Alexander, they’re not going to come back. I fixed the tear that let them in.” Magnus doesn’t realize he’s said something wrong until Alexander turns, looking absolutely shocked.

“You were purposefully letting them in?” Alexander seems almost betrayed and a little horrified and he’s giving Magnus a look that Magnus isn’t sure he likes.

“You left a hole in your home, in your lairs defenses, on purpose?”

Magnus swallows because he’s very aware right now that Alexander is judging him and it’s not a feeling he finds he enjoys. Normally, the judgment of others slides off of his back, but he finds he feels rather helpless in this moment. Magnus is powerful enough that he doesn’t have to worry about such a little thing, but Alexander is looking at him with something that borders on mistrust.

It’s with a sinking feeling that Magnus remembers how ardently and viciously dragons protect their hoards. To have such an opening, purposefully no less, in the heart of Magnus’ lair must seem like the worst kind of incompetence.

—

Alec is fuming and not only because the little vermin stealing into his hoard’s home have been leaving their disgusting scent about.

Magnus is clearly unaware of how amazing and valuable he is.

If he had any idea, he wouldn’t leave any possible way into his lair, especially not purposefully.

It’s one thing for Alec to slip past Magnus’ amazing, beautiful and intricate wards — he’s traipsed through Idris enough times to bask in Lake Lynn to be assured that he’s never met a ward he can’t cross — but for vermin?

Magnus is leaving himself open to all sorts of danger and he doesn’t even seem to realize it.

You don’t leave treasures up to chance. You protect them, viciously, devotedly, obsessively.

You give your treasures all of yourself to hoard them and you leave nothing to fate.

Alec has seen how well guarded the things Magnus values are.

Out of all the treasures in his house, the one most in danger from such a flaw would be Magnus himself. Which means that Magnus doesn’t value himself the way Alec knows he deserves and should be.

It’s almost heartbreaking and Alec can’t help the soft croon that leaves his throat.

How is he ever going to be able to let Magnus leave his side, when he can’t trust Magnus to protect himself above all else.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #the taste of his magic #alec lightwood #malec #magnus bane #shadowhunters #shadowhunters au #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets

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elvenbeard · 4 months

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thanks for the tag for the WIP game!! man i wanna know about vince as much as the next guy but i also wanna hear more about your fantasy novel! what's it about or could you give your favorite paragraph, (even out of context would be fun to read!)

OOOHHHHH Thanks so much for asking!!! :DDD

Okay okay okay, where do I start... I haven't rambled about this in a while, but this story has like, not let go of me for over ten years now xD I had the first idea in 2012 just after I finished school and before I went to uni, and ever since it's gone through many changes and iterations and grown and developed.

Basically, it's set on this ancient continent that is deeply divided. On the one side you have one nation (vaguely fantasy humans) that came there as settlers, their leader really not a good guy at all. That was around 500 years ago, a long-ass time even for fantasy humans that live longer than we do, and the current generations are slowly beginning to make amends and try to make up on their ancestors' mistakes.

On the other side you have the natives of the land, amongst each other also divided into subgroups (vaguely fantasy elves and such), and they live super long. A lot of them were there when that original invasion happened, remember fighting in all the wars the humans brought them, and they're rightfully distrustful in the humans' intentions of wanting to make amends.

There is two rulers, the official king (human) who is in charge of the nation with his council and controls the larger portion of the land. On an island separate from the mainland is the other leader, not really a king but something a little more of a spiritual (although not religious - it's complicated) leader, who has no true political power but a very high standing and a lot of respect (usually at least... but his situation is special, too, and getting into details would really explode this post XD).

Then there's technically also a whole third nation who also is at home on that same continent, but they grew into their own people independently alongside for worldbuilding and lore reasons and have little contact to the two factions mentioned above - at least until the human king married one of their leader's daughters (and now it's getting really complicated).

So much to the political climate and general state of the world xD I intended it to be all very full of tension and side-eyeing each other, where you never really know whose intentions you can trust, and a lot of people really fear another war for definitive power over the land coming. But man, it's gonna be so much worse :D

As for the actual story, in the first book of the series (yes, this has gotten too complex by now to put it into one book XD) everything is told mostly through the eyes of two characters and their immediate friend groups/families on either side of the main conflict. On one side is Adoven, who is the son of the native spiritual-type leader, and he is basically an angsty teenager who cannot find his place in the world and goes against everything anyone with good intentions tries to tell him. He ends up becoming involved with a group of revolutionaries that want to incite a rebellion against the human king - or so he thinks at least. On the other side is Ricnan, who is a scholar and alchemy teacher at a prestigious school that actually is very inclusive and non-political in its policies. Everyone from all backgrounds is welcome. Ricnan himself is part of a native minority, but he has no problems with the human king (but he also recognizes that he is in a position of privilige compared to many others). All is well and he's leading a very calm and nice life until one day he saves a frightened young woman from some guards and realizes she has immense magical powers - and then, much to the dismay of his parter initially, brings her home and decides to raise her as his protége and daughter really xD

Shit majorly hits the fan the moment Adoven's and Ricnan's stories meet and basically cause a huge explosion and fallout that really threatens the peace substantially 👀

Apart from that I also have a couple of subplots going on, about soulmates, rebirth, ancient mistakes catching up to the present now, illegitimate children threatening thrones, world-shattering magic, shapeshifting, dragons, and all that fun stuff you encounter in fantasy novels occasionally that add to the already existing chaos xD Also, everyone is queer because I say so xD

I can share some paragraphs, maybe from some different characters viewpoints... Here's Ricnan and his partner, Elornan, sitting at the breakfast table and musing about the strange behavior of Neryssa, the young woman they sort of adopted xD

“What on earth was that?” Ricnan asked after a brief moment of silence, but tried to keep his voice low as he slowly turned to Elornan. Elornan took a bite from his bread and smiled at him slyly. “When I got home yesterday I saw her standing by the mailbox, even more red in her face than now,” he said, “I didn’t say anything, she didn’t mention it. But, oh well…” “I… still don’t quite understand I think. It’s too early in the morning,” Ricnan sighed. Elornan laughed. “Well, let’s say it like this,” he said, leaning in a little closer to Ricnan and lowering his voice ever so slightly, “Maybe she’s not hungry because her stomach is too full of butterflies already.” That woke Ricnan up properly. He looked at the door, to where they could hear Neryssa rummaging in her bag in the next room over. Then he turned back to Elornan. “You really think so? I mean… she never mentioned anyone special, she doesn’t seem too fond of the majority of her classmates even…” “I’m fairly sure,” Elornan said, taking another bun, “You know, I had someone else sitting at my table here quite some time ago, similarly bad at hiding his thoughts and feelings. It’s funny, you and Neryssa are not even related, but still alike in a lot of ways.” Now it was Ricnan’s cheeks to flush pink. “‘Quite some time ago’, I beg your pardon…” he mumbled with played offence. “Aaages,” Elornan continued to tease, “Actual Centuries… but time very well spent I’d say. Wouldn’t have wanted to spend it with someone else, either.” Ricnan chuckled as he cut open another warm, soft piece of bread. In the hallway Neryssa scurried past the kitchen door yelling a quick “Bye!” with one foot out the front door already before slamming it shut. Both Elornan and Ricnan couldn’t help but laugh out loud now. “Oh, to be young again, indeed,” Ricnan mused but Elornan shrugged. “Sure, some things are easier when you’re young, but admittedly, most aren’t,” he said, “Not for me at least.” “So you don’t mind me turning officially old tomorrow?” “'Officially old’,” Elornan snickered, “I’m still older than you.” “On paper, in numbers, yes,” Ricnan said, somewhat more sober now, “But physically, one day I’m gonna catch up and surpass you.” “That is still far in the future,” Elornan said, putting a hand on his arm, “and I prefer living in the here and now, not worrying about what might or might not happen someday.” “I like the sound of that,” Ricnan smiled.

And a very dramatic moment for Adoven:

His heart skipped a beat or two, and he felt like he fell forever, as slowly as a feather tossed into an endless abyss. He could only just make out the shock and disbelief on the open-mouthed face of the soldier standing above him, right before he stumbled backwards and disappeared into the office. He could still feel the rope, even though he clearly saw it dangling freely against the wall of the tower, but its sensation, its fibres had burned themselves into his palms. He fell backwards into nothingness, not even the winds able to hold him up anymore, seeming weak and insignificant compared to the violence they used to tear on their clothes, the contents of the office just minutes before. His distance to the wall of the tower grew, and he gained speed, could see his teardrops sparkling in the air above him as he fell further and further, beginning to question if this is how he'll be remembered. The wannabe-revolutionary that fell to his death from the Academy of Saratheas.

If you wanna snoop around a bit more, I have an (as of right now inactive) sideblog @ivendarea for this project with some stuff, and art and writing and everything else that sort of belongs into this world in its own tag on my main blog here: elvenbeard.tumblr.com/tagged/the%20king%20of%20ivendarea ("The King of Ivendarea" was the working title for this for the longest time until some time in 2022 I decided I will split this into several novels and referring to the first one "The Voice of the Voiceless" from there on!)

Thanks again so much for asking!! :D

#the king of ivendarea #the voice of the voiceless #original fantasy writing #my writing #answered asks #swearingcactus

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effervescentdragon · 6 months

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Hi! I just wanted to say that this week I chose to read some of the fics you have up in AO3 ( and by some of them I mean a lot) and I'm obsessed with your Sebchal Old Guard AU.

I haven't watched the movie yet, but I've been tempted in the past and your writing was the last reason I needed to do it.

That scene when Sebastian has apparently died and Charles holds him while praying in Latin, and he is so devastated about losing Sebastian because immortality is only a gift if Charles gets to share it with him.

That was..WOW..Yeah. No words. Tens across the board.

Those dreams of Lewis and Nico. The ending in Suzuka when Charles is wearing red again. People choosing to spend immortality together just really gets to me, I guess.

That fic really did something for me, and I have to thank you for it.

PS: your Nico/Jenson Soulmate fic made me see why people ship those two.

PS 2:"Red Gods of Old" is so phenomenal. I had to keep pausing to look at the wall and think about every paragraph.

PS 3: I was blown away when I saw you posted again, and blown away again because I had already read the Piarles piece, but didn't realize it was part of a series. I loved your first chapter. So angsty, and I hated the fact that you made me relate to Lando, but also thank for that.

Thank your for sharing your writing, and I know sending this right now seems so convenient because of your post earlier, but I really enjoyed the reading sprint I had on your stuff and I wanted to say so. Sorry for writing so much this got a little bit longer than the single paragraph I had intended it to be. :)

anon this made me so happy. like so so so happy, insanely happy. the answer is gonna get long because i cant not ramble about all this, so, cut.

my sebchal old guard au is my favourite thing ive ever written and i love it so much and people dont often go for it, though i do have some wonderful asks in my inbox that im saving for a rainy day and i just. thank you for coming here to tell me this and i hope you watched the movie because its MASTERFUL. i put so much into that fic, for example i tried to figure out how to make two white boys be joe and nicky without being insensitive or appropriative about race, and how not to apply the fundamentality of joe's loveliness of being an arab man (gentle and kind and a poet in his soul) to this german dude. that one kept me up for a while, so i decided not to mirror it perfectly but to apply seb and charles' personalities into the context, except adapting the other way around. it was a challenge to write, because i wove so much little ideas and nods to other people in there, not the least lewis and nico as andy and quynh, and then in the end i just really wanted them to come a full circle and somehow tie it in with f1. i always do this in my au's, give a little nod to f1 somehow, just to show my love for it. anyways, thank you so much for reading it and just. i love that you liked it.

oh god the princess cake soulmate fic - i saw the prompt and i couldnt resist! it turned out to be a prompt by a tumblr friend so that worked out even better. i love nico and i love him with jenson and i need to get back to writing him some more soon tbh. he is such a complicated and interesting character and he has twists and turns and i just love him insanely much. (if you liked the soulmate fic, i refer to this fic as my princess cake master thesis, so you may like that one too, maybe.)

oh my fucking god. this part. this part had me stopping in the middle of my corridor when i saw it because like. nobody reads that fic? nobody knows it and its my first proper rpf that i wrote and i love it so much and i just. im just heart-eyeing you now, because that was me trying to figure out some things about seb and about ferrari and to make it work in my head so i know how to proceed, so, thank you for reading it, and especially mentioning it!

thank you also so much for reading my carlando, im very excited about it because i never wrote them and im a bit nervous about the characterisation but so far it seems like it has a positive reception. i made it angsty on purpose because lando is just a ball of anxiety and i rly tried to show it. im super hyped about the next chapter two, but please keep all your limbs crossed for my uni work, which i have to do tomrrow on penalty of death.

please, never think its inconvenient to read something as lovely as this ask, no matter if its because of a post i made or just because, it literally doesnt matter, because you took the time to come and tell me these lovely things anyway. it made me happy and it made me hyped up and thank you. and there's never ever too much rambling, i dont see this as rambling i see this as something lovely. thank you <333

#can you tell how excited i am to talk about all of this?#THANK YOU #lovely anons <3 #wholesome wholesome wholesome #akira answers asks #about my writing. i ramble a LOT.#some shameless self promotion too bcs if i dont #who wil :D

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anonymooseforever007 · 10 months

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Random Life Ramble under cut about this weekend. You can skip this entirely or just cut to the last two paragraphs (in italics) to get the ghist of it if you want! Anything's cool!❤️

Ok, so I really planned to try to catch up on fics I wanted to read tonight and tomorrow, but I honestly don't think that's gonna happen until maybe Sunday now.

Because today, we moved my twin sister into her apartment and I honestly am not sure how I feel about it. It's not because she's been disowned or hates out family or she's leaving in a negative manner. She's literally moving 12 minutes away and I'm still going to see her all the time until I leave for college again. She moved to college back home after her freshman year elsewhere and has been living at home again. And while she loves my parents and is so much happier back here than where she was, she just wants to be able to try living out of the house like so may of our friends are and that's totally fine. My parents agree that like we're twenty and it's normal for people to want to do that during college and it could be a good experience for when we're out of it and we're both good kids. So that happens today and it all went well and I really an estancia for her that she finally gets to do this. And I think that this will be something she enjoys and will be good for her to be independent like she wants to be a bit more of. She'll still be super close to everything she knows but she also gets to try stuff she hasn't before. And I think she'll do great. Because I adore her so much and I want her to be happy so badly. She is my twin and my other half in every sense of the word. Which is funny because we look nothing a like and 80% of the time we are the literal definition of the whole "The Brawn and The Brain" one athletic and one nerdy twin stereotype. My parents put us in separate rooms at like a year and a half old because she'd fall asleep like sleeping beauty and I'd take much longer to fall asleep and would keep her up too much while just messing around in my crib and it just wasn't working out at all. But as different as we are I wouldn't change a single thing about her for anything in the world. She is and always will be my best friend and I know without a doubt I would choose her above anyone else right now. And I'm so happy to see she's happy....But there is a part of me that fucking hates this. And I'm not really sure what to do right now.

Because if it hasn't been noticed, I really am not good at expressing my feelings out loud. In life or when reading things I'll have so many thoughts in my head about it and how much I feel about it and what I think. But when someone asks about it or if I want to tell them how I felt about it, I have a very hard time saying more than "it was good" "it was fine" "I loved it." Because really in the backwards way my brain sometimes works, those words are all that's needed to express exactly how I feel and anything else just wouldn't make sense or would be repetitive and my brain also gets on to be about being too repetitive or rambley especially when I'm nervous or excited. And so while it isn't always a bad thing, and I am able to control my emotions relatively well in many situations, I also tend to bottle the worse things up and I know that's not always good.

But I have briefly cried at least five times today when I made sure no one was looking. And I really don't cry a lot. I don't like crying because honestly nine times out of ten it's doesn't makes sense to me to do. Either my brain says that crying would not be productive to the situation so let's find a better solution or I would rather set aside what's bothering me and make myself focus on something different because I don't want to be sad. I like being happy and I really would rather just forgive and forget most nonmajor inconveniences instead of letting them bring me down. I like being a glass half full kind of person and I don't think that's a bad thing. And once again, bottling things up isn't good even if I can't help it sometimes.

But when it comes to my sister I don't have that issue at all apparently. I like to joke that she's the biggest reason I ever cry and not because she's tossing the remote at me from across the couch. But it's also true because when it comes to her I can't actually hold stuff in and just the thought of something happening to her worries me so much at times even if I know she's going to be fine. I think the biggest thing this time is that she won't be as close to me anymore. Like us going to different colleges was one thing, but it also wasn't too bad because on top of texts and calls and stuff, I knew that when I came home from the holidays she'd still be sleeping right down the way like she'd been quiet literally since ever. And now that's not gonna happen anymore and while I understand that it will even have to happen one day and we will both move out and not live in the house we've grown up in. There's something about it that just makes me uncomfortable. Because I think the last thing in this world I want is to lose anything with my sister because we've move apart.

But yeah. So honestly today has been a good day. Work was good and her move in was easy and my family had pizza dinner at the apartment and this day really couldn't have gone smoother. And I've talked to a lot of great people today too. I think the biggest issue today has been the ten minute power outage that happens while writing this and tumblr being a little ass about me trying to edit a post and organise it the way I like. Like really? Why is it shoving over my bolded text to stuff I didn't chose and why is it shifting where my hyperlink? Though again. In the span of things those aren't really big deals. They won't affect me forever and all in all they didn't do anything to dampen the good that happens today.

But something about today has just drained me and so I want to wait until Sunday or Monday to read things when I can fully focus on them without my anxiety in the background. And I feel bad about it because I like everything y'all do and I want to see more of it but I just can't do that today and I don't want anyone to think I'm ignoring them or am not interested. I am, but I just don't think I'll be able to fully focus and respond and process on what I'm reading tonight and stuff.

Finally, I do however, have two things in my queue for this weekend but haven't gotten around to it until now. Mainly because I wasn't sure if anyone would be interested or if it would be worth it. But I've made them and I've been meaning to post them for a few days and don't want to let my self chicken out about it again But the first post is a WIP list of the stories I haven't published, the ones I've started writing, and some ideas I have planned next. I think it would maybe help people seen what I'm working on, and also be a place for me to semi store ideas that I make up. The second post is just something about tags list I'm going to start making. Because I haven't actually form that yet, and while I've had people asked to be tagged in stuff before, an actual for stuff didn't occur to me until recently and I was always worried that I would forget someone who asked. And I'm not sure how may people would want to be on them but I figured it could actually help me organise things a bit!

And yeah! That's it. If you've read this all or even a bit I'm sorry for rambling. But I love all of y'all, all of y'all are brilliant and amazing and I can't what to see what happens next with all of y'all lovely people! ❤️❤️ Have a good weekend!!

#Addy Rambles

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temporalbystander · 3 months

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So. I have, once again, come to the conclusion that the reason why we can't have the best in life is because people have copyrighted the good and refuse to let anyone make it better... This is gonna be a gaming ramble btw. A long one.

Anyway let's begin with what started the realisation this time. A few days back, probably prompted by my rebinge of TGSAnime's Yu-Gi-Oh videos, I was suggested to watch a couple videos of someone playing tag force. It was okay, not the greatest, but I liked how the character models of the duelists had an animation for everything from drawing, setting a card and activating a spell. It was cute.

Well about an hour ago I stumbled across a video title that REALLY caught my attention. One that was talking about the Tag Force series, which holy shit there's more than one game, while also calling them dating Sims. As a romantic (read, guy who really crushed on Alexis Rhodes when GX first came out) I decided this video needed a watch through and.... Well damn if it wasn't the most amazing game I've ever heard of. Not only do you get to go through Duel Academy, and all the events of the show, as your own original character. But you get to interact with the characters and bond with them! Then, in the sequel, you get your own little unique story lines with them after the show plot is over! And in the third and final one (final GX one I mean)? All that growth from the first two games carries over into the final season 4 plot along with you, feeling like your own complete character, graduating duel academy.

Obviously this sounded like the most amazing thing I had ever heard of in my life so, of course, I immediately started googling to see if anyone had taken this idea and pushed a little further with it. Made it into more of a fleshed out dating sim with unique interactions. The results? Not only do Yu-Gi-Oh and dating sim only bring you right back to Tag Force. But Yu-Gi-Oh and rpg seems to be just as barren a search. I'm sorry but I find it incredibly hard to believe that Im the only one who's interested in hearing about the characters of an anime interacting with you as you join them on their journeys. If Konami made a series out of it then clearly there's a target audience.

But nope. All I got were card game simulations. As if people no longer care about the characters and the stories. Bull. The card game sucks, it's beyond broken and the obsession with meta is garbage. It's the same thing that ruined competitive Pokemon for me, the top ten in every tournament using almost the exact same team of six (some of whom have even admitted to using hacked perfect IV and evs because they don't give a damn about the game and see if as an easy way to make money. I don't know if that's still the case but the fact a competitive scene could ever let it get to that point? Is disgusting.)

Anyway, my hatred of competition meta ruining fun games not withstanding, let's talk about this realisation. Konami clearly owns the rights to developing bonds as you interact and play alongside your favourite duelists. (I know that's not how copyright works but I swear it makes sense eventually.) Because of this? There is no chance of finding any other fanwork using this same premise but pushing it a bit further. Giving you minigames or other events you can spend with your partner beyond simple dueling or talking... Or giving them eggwhiches (my brain practically overloaded when I heard that was a feature.) Anything to develop the relationship further. Nope. The best we will ever get is Tag Force. Which, I mean, is still amazing and raises the possibility of Konami doing a remaster some day which I am all for. I just heard this existed and it's the best thing ever. I would die for a remaster.

But, as pointed out in my first paragraph, this isn't the first time I've come to the realisation that a system, which would be beyond amazing if manipulated a bit, will forever remain stuck with the original creators who don't care to improve on it. The other examples? Fire Emblem and Persona. Both of these series are God-tier. The social links and affinity systems are amazing! So, of course, you can imagine my severe disappointment when, after my first encounter with both these series, I saw nobody else had done anything like it. No social links that affect the story beyond a few optional scenes (though P5 using all the confidants to boost gameplay mechanics? *Chefs kiss* brilliance.) And no games where affinity rank ups are more than a few lines of dialogue that are almost exactly the same in spite of who the characters interacting are (most noticeable when dealing with the scenes between parents and children. The parent with the same class would get an incredibly detailed scene while the other parent just got the generic other parent scenes with maybe a line or two different. I don't even think there's anything special about siblings.)

Seriously. That is three separate series, with three separate mechanics that have so much potential. And nobody else is doing anything with them. How can we possibly still be getting inspired fangames based on the Gameboy Pokemon era graphics and yet nobody has touched these ideas? It could be so good. But it won't. Because the copyright holders don't care about improving it.

#late night rambles #ooc #mun talks #outsideofcausality #not miraculous related #yugioh #persona 5 #fire emblem #game mechanics #gaming #so close yet so far

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primeministerofantarctica · 4 years

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extremely long paragraphs in small text that take up the entire screen: exist

my brain:

#astra rambles #idk what it is about long paragraphs but id rather die than read one #paragraphs should be ten sentences MAX any longer and my brain will preemptively shut down

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chrismerle · 2 years

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First and Last Lines Tag Game

thanks for the tag, @emelkae!

at first I was going to pick Brothers, but I’ve shown off the first paragraph before. and then I was going to do Threshold, but I’ve shown off the current last paragraphs before. so then I decided ... double feature?

FIRST

from Threshold

They creep carefully down the stairs, only because Mercy starts moving and no one is particularly keen on letting her go haring off on her own. There are a dozen stairs, made of crumbling brick, and at the bottom they lead to an equally crumbling path, the cracked bricks pitted and laced with weeds and grass.

Mercy peers upwards, squinting to try and see what's above them, but she can't make out the sky. No stars. No moon. No clouds. No sign that there's any sort of a roof or a cavern over them, either. It's as if the world simply gives up the ghost several hundred meters over the ground and stops existing.

"Guys...?"

Mercy jerks herself back to the present at the alarm in Avery's voice, and finds him staring back up the stairs. Where there should be a door at the top, instead they simply lead right into a wall. Brick, faded and crumbling, just like everything else.

Avery's voice is small as he asks, "Where'd the door go?"

from Brothers

They had grown up happy, or at least he had always assumed they had. Dad had crafted them—“From Earth and my own stubborn willpower,” he used to say—and raised them, and though they had moved too often and stayed too far away from people to have friends, they had always had each other. Maybe it hadn’t been a normal life, but it had been a good one. They had been happy.

Or at least Ash had always assumed they had been.

He had been ten—Ace and Archer nineteen and sixteen—when Dad had rounded them up in front of the caverns that had been home for the week. And he had handed Ash a piece of star sapphire and tightly closed his fingers around it. Archer got a sphere of sodalite and Ace a lapis lazuli worry stone.

“Should any of you lose your way and want to be found, then you will be able to seek each other out,” he promised them. “Take care of each other.” And then he left.

LAST

from Threshold

Jayne opens his mouth to reply, but pauses, and looks towards the fence again. It still looks like an ordinary picket fence. An ordinary picket fence, stretching on endlessly in both directions. An ordinary picket fence, that isn't actually fencing anything in or out. The sand and tall grass on the other side give way to scrub and trees that seem to stretch on infinitely. A shiver chases itself down his spine.

He jumps in surprise when Shai's hand lands on his shoulder. "That feeling?" They give him a brief jostle. "That is how you recognize the difference."

Jayne swallows. "Good to know."

from Brothers

It all goes silent once again, until North asks, “Will you be staying for dinner?”

“I may as well,” Ace replies.

After an awkward meal, they all turn in early. North liked to stress, from time to time, the importance of a good night’s rest, but he says nothing throughout the night despite undoubtedly knowing that no one is asleep.

The night passes slowly, one silent tick at a time. The sun is barely even turning the horizon pink when Ash gets to his feet and declares, “Well, seems like a good time to head back.”

North looks from one brother to the next to the next.

Archer makes no complaint. Ace pouts, but says nothing.

“Will you at least be eating breakfast?” North asks finally.

these are slightly longer than just ‘first and last lines’ but, uh, I couldn’t really help myself?

I think I will taaaag ... @viskafrer @ryns-ramblings @lanawritesalittle @garthcelyn. no pressure, of course, and if you wanna play along but haven’t been tagged, just say I tagged you.

#emelkae #writing #writeblr #writblr #meme #wip: threshold #wip: brothers

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dragonclaw29 · 4 years

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Top Ten Anime (Sorta)

Hello everyone it is that time of year again, time for my annual top ten anime list. In order not to be boring I have removed any repeats from any previous years. If you want to find those you can search my blog for top ten anime and they will come up. Well I know you didn’t come for my ramblings so here is the list.

10. Devilman Crybaby

This show I think reflects what sin actually looks like and what it does to a person. Akira is a high school boy whose friend has a mysterious past. A past which will come to dominate not only their friendship but the world as we know it. When demons are on the prowl one might find themselves stooping to their level.

9. Erased

How does the disappearance of a girl from a mans childhood have anything to do with his mothers death. A man must find out in order to prove his name, and stop tragedy from repeating itself. I would say more but I don’t want to ruin any surprises.

8. Darker than Black

BK201 a mysterious Contractor involved in the deaths of dozens of people. Ever since 4 gateways around the world appeared people with powers have started to manifest no more so deadly than BK201. With a great opening and a fun character cast from all over the world, Darker than black will keep you guessing and on the edge of your seat.

7. Demi-Chan wa Kataritai

In a world where human looking monsters exist it is up to teachers and parents to make sure that they can integrate successfully into society. This show is a cute story about a group of friends trying to fit in despite their differences. Demi-chan is adorable, funny, and has a great message and is a show I could recommend to every one.

6. Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood

If you have been on tumblr for longer than six seconds and were into anime you already have heard of this show. Its great.

5. Paranoia Agent

Japanese society is thrown off its hinges when a mysterious bat wielding man starts to terrorize Tokyo. A mascot designer lies at the heart of this. This show takes no prisoners with its mystery and I am certain you will not guess the twist. Ps. Best episode is number 10, objective fact.

4. Konosuba

If you were to actually isekai the average teenage boy this show is what I think you would get. I love this show its hilarious, the art style is great, the characters lifelike. Kazuma the main character suddenly finds himself dead and in front of a God. When asked what to bring to the other world he demands that the god comes with him, hilarity ensues. In short this two season show will make you cry laughing.

3. Tasogare Otome x Amnesia

The only romance anime on this list Tasogare amnesia tells the tale of a man and the ghost who fell in love with him. This show is surprisingly funny with some really emotional scenes. I fell in love with the shows heroine and her antics as she harasses the only person who can see her.

2. Shinsekai Yori

Oh god do I have so many thoughts about this show. I can’t sum them up in a short paragraph. If I had to say anything it would be that everything about this show is designed perfectly to have you stay up late at night thinking about it. This show is not for the faint of heart but it promises one of the best stories ever written. Only reason it wasn’t in my top ten last year was because I still wasn’t over it.

1. Ima soko ni iru boku

Why does man do evil? That question is explored in this show as the main character Shu is thrust into a world he doesn’t understand but is very much like our own. This show gave me whiplash between the first two episodes, and if you watch it you will know what I mean. I won’t say much on it, it will ruin the effect if I do but be ready to see both the cruelty and beauty of man.

So thats this years list done and dusted. As per usual feel free to message me to ask questions or tell me that I am wrong. If you have any anime recommendations send them my way. Big shout out to @drunkusaurelius for watching many of these shows with me and being just an awesome person. Also make sure to check out @sassymomfriend who will upload their own top ten list, tell her I say hi and that not all of my anime choices are life scaring just most of them.

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chrysalizzm · 3 years

Note

Do you have fic recs or head canons? please ramble for paragraphs im bored and looking for something to read.

oh boy do i have some fic recs for you (and everyone who sees this), my friend! this one is quite long because there are a lot of fics i like and this isn’t all of them, so if you’d like more, you can check out my bookmarks page ^^

The Run and Go by Numanum

“That’s not fair,” Bad protests. Dream raises an eyebrow at him and jerks his tied hands in emphasis, clearly saying that none of this is fair.

“Look, you keep running! Who runs if they’re not guilty?” Bad challenges, staring him down with obvious distrust from the generous distance of exactly five feet. It’s fair, as much as Dream hates to admit it; it’s not like he’s been the most honest hostage in the past, with all of his escaping and running and framing himself for his own murder, apparently.

“Only the good die young, and only the guilty run,” Technoblade chimes in, holding his own potato and sitting in the snow like it’s not cold at all.

A hot flash of irritation burns through him.

“Someone being chased?” he counters sarcastically, jerking his tied wrists up again to wave them in front of the group. Sapnap laughs so hard that he almost chokes on his potato, but it dies off when Dream gives him an icy stare.

Or: Dream is having a hard time, and the hunter just want to adopt him like a stray puppy that bites you at every opportunity.

multi-chapter, ongoing.

a manhunt with plot-style fic! exquisitely written, visceral in the emotions it evokes. it’s the kind of fic that makes me feel all shaky with anticipation, the kind that i have a physical reaction to; you can’t put it down.

pain. all-consuming pain. this one feels bad, man

and as he fell (you walked away) by Teahound

Once upon a time, there were three hunters.

They were good at what they did. If you wanted something-- or better yet, someone-- found, discovered, or destroyed, they were the people you asked. They didn’t have much to their name, besides a formidable reputation, but they were a team, and that was enough for them.

Once upon a time, there was a king in the forest.

He wore a mask, but it didn’t matter. That deep in the forest, in a hidden fortress, buried behind leaves and monsters and broken stone, no one could see his face anyway. He had been there a very long time, and he was alone.

Being a king can be a very lonely thing. So one day, the king left the fortress.

A Minecraft manhunt AU, with a fantasy twist. Dream is a cryptid, and Hunters are idiots.

multi-chapter (11), complete.

tea’s fic!! a manhunt-with-plot fic, featuring a forest spirit dream and circumstantial hunters and friendships that feel both intensely real and desperately melancholy because they can’t last.

or can they?

The Real World by Cinammonzoa and Fire_Fly464

"Ten, paces fire!"

Time stopped.

Tommy’s entire body went numb. He tried to open his mouth to say something, but his body was determined to keep him silent. His vision went dark, and he could no longer feel his headphones over his ears. The mouse in his hand. The slight breeze of his ceiling fan. For a few seconds, he couldn’t feel anything.

His senses came back to him all at once. The first thing Tommy noticed was the weight in his right hand -- a bow. His nostrils stung with the lingering scent of gunpowder. In front of him was a masked figure. Their right arm was bent, their elbow by their face. In their left hand was a bow, aiming directly at--

~~~

Aka Dream and Tommy get transported into the SMP world and have no idea what the fuck is happening

multi-chapter (23), complete

you’ve probably seen this one if you haunt the video blogging rpf/minecraft tags of ao3 often! an irl!dream and tommy replace their smp counterparts type of beat, very upbeat in dynamic and fun to keep pace with, great read.

staying alive (though the city is dead) by Alice_Not_In_Wonderland

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't," Schlatt smirks, his words lilting, almost song-like. His eyes seem to glow brighter. "Tell me, Dream, when did you realize that you could talk and talk and talk and no one would ever believe you?"

---

or: if dream's damned to be a villain in every story he's in, then he's going to show them exactly how much of one he can be

one-shot, complete.

the gratuitous greek mythology references are truly everything and this fic is such a good dissection of dream and schlatt’s motivations and how their goals intersect, and dream’s likening to cassandra really hits different

Green & Gold by HognoseSnake

George’s legs ached.

His lungs felt tight and too small.

His breath was loud in his ears.

His pack bounced uncomfortably on his shoulders.

George, homeless and adrift, is an outlaw of the Mad King's reign. He'd spent the last two months being hunted across the wilderness at the fringe of society by a ruthless killer in a smiling mask and bright green coat. This, he understood.

What he didn't understand is why such a ruthless killer kept letting him go.

multi-chapter (8), complete. sequel ongoing.

a breathtaking pseudo-manhunt-with-plot fic, with george and dream running from a kingdom that wants them dead for perceived transgressions. this shit hurted, and the sequel hurts even worse ;-; snake please i beg

We’re Only Young series by ImperialKatwala

It's easy to forget amid the chaos and bloodshed how similar - and how young - Dream and Technoblade really are.

collection of both one-shots and ongoing multi-chapter fics.

((bangs on table)) please read this series it is dream and techno friendship fics that alternate between lighthearted and heartwrenchingly comforting and imperialkatwala’s characterisation of them and their respective groups of family and friends is so frickin’ good i read this series when i’m not having a good day and it never fails to make me crack a smile

kept promises and old ruins and names carved into stone by verecundiam

"Would you... would you want to stay here?" Bad wrings his hands, looking away. "Like, like actually stay? I know it's not, ah, not exactly comfortable, or all that homey, but I don't want you two to get hurt out there on your own, and I just... I think maybe you could stay? If you want?"

"That sounds nice," Sapnap says, because it does.

(Or: How four kids managed to build a family, against all odds.)

one-shot, complete.

muffinteers found family that makes me want to go to the smp writers and beg it to be made canon. unbelievably soft yet excellent at parsing out the younger counterparts of the four and creating backgrounds that feasibly form them into the people they grow up to be.

in the age of icons by BananasofThorns

“Yeah, keep digging,” Tommy crows.

The pickaxe hesitates on the downswing. The air shifts; Dream’s aura bursts into visibility, brilliant green and jagged. Ozone hums on Techno’s tongue and Bad stutters in the middle of his sentence. Up on the wall, silhouetted by the sun, Dream stands frozen and furious.

L'manberg messes with something it shouldn't. Techno watches the repercussions and tries not to laugh.

one-shot, complete.

i love deity aus (figures, i wrote one myself akjdfh), and this one hits. there’s something exquisitely delicate about how dream and the repercussions his godhood both on himself and on the people who are exposed to him in that moment of unbridled rage.

that's how we keep going (we make the best of things) by lieyuu

[ i can’t decide if this is heaven or hell. the walls keep closing in and we’re running out of space, but you’re pretty cute ]

“So, do you want to build a flower shop, a cottage, or a coffee shop?” Puffy asks, smiling like just Niki’s presence is enough to light up her world.

Niki looks at her, thinks, I want to bend nature to my will and weave tapestries in your name, says, “I think I might like the flower shop best.”

one-shot, complete.

a niki/puffy fic that crushed me in its hands in just six hundred words. the delicate love and wonder and beauty of this fic killed me softly and i welcomed it. it’s girls in love rendered by lieyuu’s masterful hand, what more could you want

i need it to be known that as i was typing up my thoughts midnight love by girl in red started playing from my playlist if that’s not a shining endorsement i don’t know what is

did i ruin the moment? by itisjosh

Ranboo drags himself through the snow, burn wounds going up and down his body. His suit is crumpled, half of it discarded as he crawls along the ground. His eyes are firmly pressed shut, and he refuses to open them, just in case he sees him, Dream, again. Ranboo sobs as the snow melts on his skin, the water scalding him as it trickles down his arms and chest.

one-shot, complete.

it’s character death, i do need to put it out there because it felt like i was punched in the stomach at the end even though i knew. josh knows exactly how to drag his readers kicking and screaming into angst hell, as always - a ranboo is rescued by phil fic wherein ranboo ends up convincing himself that the only reason for his presence in the nearly-empty anarchist commune is because phil sees him as a placeholder for his sons ;-; pain

Frame The Halves, And Call Them Brothers by MusicallyActive

"Let's go!" Quackity roared. "Let's fucking go!"

The anvil dropped, and Techno reached for his totem of undying. This was going to hurt like a bitch.

Phil screamed something, and instantly a crushing force struck Technoblade's skull. It rattled him to the core, doused his vision in red, and then all he knew was black.

He gasped awake moments later to the sound of his communicator pinging softly at his bedside table, and when Technoblade opened his eyes, New L'manburg was nowhere in sight.

one-shot, complete.

a techno timeloop fic that shows off the unintentional cruelty of the children who run l’manberg and techno’s own inability to allow the people he tries so hard not to love to come to harm. techno’s rendered in painstaking detail; this one was cathartic in the best way.

on i go (move to move) by Aenqa

If you ask someone whether they’ve ever experienced real, severe physical pain, you’ll learn a lot from their response.

Techno knows what it means to be in pain. He’s accepted it as a necessary consequence of keeping his family safe. But when the pain he's experiencing starts to become too much to bear alone, it takes his family to show him what it might mean to feel better.

one-shot, complete.

chronic pain fic featuring sbi!! it’s really good - aenqa wrote chronic pain well, and incorporated respawn mechanics into it well, and the dynamic between sbi is impeccable.

Yellow and Blue and- by nic_takes_Ls (nic_L)

It’s another gorgeous day in New L’Manberg. Tubbo’s stilted streets of deep toned spruce and honey-touched oaks are warm under his feet from the sun, and a sign and a small banner proclaim the country’s name in front of his face. Wilbur is so happy to let the ‘L’ roll of his tongue as he says it, ‘Manberg’ was harsh and too guttural, but the two extra syllables make it something that could fit on a melody, a four-note beat he could set the pace of his unbeating heart to.

The citizens of New L’Manberg track him with cautious eyes at first, until Tubbo changes his eyes to slightly sad ones, listening along to Wilbur’s rambles, warming up to the truly soot-grey sight of his face and sunshine yellow of his ever-present sweater. The rest of the population soon follow, laughing at Wilbur’s strange innocence and telling him what he’s done with only a little bit of spite in a pitying mask and fixing their mouths in a line when he suddenly forgets what he’s doing or stares into space or laughs at nothing.

But all the people who get sad when Wilbur starts laughing after shock-still silence are dumb.

Because Wilbur’s not laughing at nothing.

one-shot, complete.

a ghostbur fic from quite early on! it includes references to wilbur and schlatt’s older videos/smp experiences and has a super interesting take on the nature of wilbur’s amnesia i enjoyed this fic a lot ^^

east of eden series by subwaywalls

Philza protects his home.

(An angel with a singing blade of fire guards the gates to paradise.)

two one-shots, one ongoing multi-chapter fic.

READ IT READ IT READ IT. the eoe series is exquisite in both content and presentation, centering around sbi and the powers they all respectively have but also bringing in people like grian and dream, and subwaywalls is a master of packaging her words ever so delicately to create an experience that is ethereal.

#long post #fic recs #chrys rambles #asks

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myaekingheart · 3 years

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20 [Fanfic Writer] Questions Game

Thank you so much for tagging me, @lemony-snickers! This is tons of fun, I love answering these kinds of big questionnaires 😂💕 Also putting mine under a cut because there’s a lot of questions and I like to ramble.

Also gonna go ahead and just tag whoever wants to do this! 😅💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of August 27, 2021, I have a total of 77 works on my AO3!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Funny enough, I was just looking at this, specifically, earlier today and kind of laughing about it. Right now, my total word count across all my works is 1,148,941 😬

3. How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Apparently 12, but some of them I don’t really consider “big” in my fandom repertoire. Naruto is my greatest fandom with a total of 60 fics so far, followed by The Chronicles of Narnia and Rise of the Guardians. The rest are ones I either did crossover fics with or just did one-off little pieces with--The Incredibles, Tangled, Brave, How to Train Your Dragon, Arthurian Mythology, Disney Princesses, Fairy Tales and Related Fandoms, Back to the Future, and Frozen.

4. What are your Top Five fics by kudos?

The Scarecrow and The Bell (Naruto) - 470 kudos The Day Kakashi’s Mask Slipped (Naruto) - 139 kudos Sunflowers (Naruto) - 92 kudos Sakumo the House Husband (Naruto) - 81 kudos Someone to Lean On (Naruto) - 67 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to comments, because I like to acknowledge when people respond to my work. I cherish comments like nobody’s business, especially when they’re kind and reactionary. I just really love seeing/hearing what people think of the way a story is progressing, or what they thought of a one-shot. Comments keep me going especially when it comes to longfic so I want to be able to let readers know that I do in fact see their comments, that I’m acknowledging what they’re saying, and that I appreciate them. Plus, it can be kind of fun to tease upcoming events in a fic through responses to people’s comments, too. Because I’m mean.

6. What fic have you written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Hothouse (Rise of the Guardians/The Incredibles; Jack Frost x Violet Parr; American Horror Story AU). This was the first multi-chaptered fic I ever wrote to completion and I honestly cringe when I remember it exists both because it’s so poorly organized (and full of nasty plot holes) and because I just went ham on the gore factor. It definitely has a really bittersweet and heartbreaking ending to it, too.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think I’ll definitely have to say Temptation. The story itself was kind of a ride, and it’s only the first installment in a series, but it follows the plot of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe but remixed due to the presence of an original character, but the ending is still roughly the same as the original: they defeat the evil, the Pevensies are all crowned kings and queens, happy days. Reading the last few paragraphs of the last chapter honestly still gets me all up in my feelings.

8. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I used to be more of a crossover writer due to one of my main ships being a crossover ship. They weren’t super crazy, though, because they were both CGI-animated films. The craziest crossover I’ve ever written is an in-progress/unfinished multichapter piece, Kakashi, Enchanted, that sees our favorite Copy Ninja get kamui’d into the Disney princess dimension and has to help the likes of Snow White, Cinderella, and Rapunzel on his journey to find a way back to his own world. It’s a super weird premise but definitely one of my more lighthearted works and fun to revisit when I need to decompress.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think I’ve ever received hate so much as I’ve received criticism. The closest I ever got to hate on a fic, I think, was someone left an overly personal and mentally disturbed comment on a chapter of my main fic that made me convinced they needed to seek therapy and deal with their own personal issues rather than take it out on a fanfic about animated ninjas.

10. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Maybe 👀 I’m super vanilla when it comes to smut, though. I think the wildest thing I’ve ever written in smut is breeding kink.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and I hope I never will.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet! I had someone ask to translate a one-shot of mine in Russian but I never got a response back when I laid out my terms and conditions.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not! I used to do paragraph-style roleplay which was kind of like cowriting fanfiction but writing is so personal and sacred to me that I don’t know if I could ever actually cowrite a fic with someone. I like brainstorming with other people, but writing for me is more of a deeply personal and independent endeavour.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god, this is a tricky question because it depends on fandom. I absolutely love New Dream (Rapunzel x Eugene, Tangled) and have for the past ten years, and my love for them as only grown since watching Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. I don’t write or even really read a ton of fanfiction for them, though. I’m also still highly dedicated to my favorite crossover crackship, Frostfield (Jack Frost x Violet Parr, Rise of the Guardians/The Incredibles) and to this day, if you search for that ship on AO3, I am the sole provider of every single fic about them so far. I’m not as active with them as I used to be, but they got me through some really rough times back in the day and still mean so much to me. A lot of my favorite ships across fandoms, though, are honestly canon x OC ships of mine because I am a self-indulgent bitch who needs to project. So Peter Pevensie x Eilonwy (The Chronicles of Narnia) and Kakashi Hatake x Rei Natsuki (Naruto) are really important to me and I’ve poured so much of myself specifically into their stories. I think it’s safe to say Kakashi and Rei is my all-time favorite ship across all fandoms, though, just because of how much their story means to me. The Scarecrow and The Bell is my magnum opus, my pride and joy, and I’m sure it will be my biggest fandom footprint of my entire life. I’ve dedicated the past three years to this story and these characters and I intend to continue doing it until it no longer brings me joy (which I hope it always will). There’s just so much I could say about this story and Kakashi and Rei’s relationship but I don’t think we have enough time or space in this post for that 😅 Just know that they mean the world to me and I will always hold them in the highest regard as a beautifully messy, flawed, passionate, soulmate-y ship that I love with all of my heart 🥺

EDIT: I also feel obligated to tack on some of my absolute favorite Naruto ships because I may not have written for all of them (yet) but they still make me unbelievably happy or I find them really compelling and enjoy the idea of exploring them:

Naruhina is precious happy sunshine and The Last honestly felt like a wonderful Disney princess movie to me, it was so cute and the romance was so on-point, Naruhina just makes me so incredibly happy and I love them with all my heart.

MinaKushi also gets me all up in my feels and I adore them with every fiber of my being. Their romance also gave me Disney princess movie vibes which I love, their story is just so damn sweet as is their character dynamic and I am still so heartbroken that they never got to be a happy family with Naruto because you know what? It’s what they deserved!

SasuSaku is so compelling to me and I really feel like we were cheated out of seeing their relationship develop and evolve postwar in the same way The Last did for Naruhina. They’re my favorite angst ship and while I don’t think they were written that well in canon, I love the possibility and potential of them together and am excited to explore them more in-depth in my own writing.

NejiTen is just too cute, I really love the way Neji and Tenten’s personalities compliment each other? I don’t have much else to say about them except that I really love them together and think they have so much untapped potential that I also can’t wait to explore in more depth in my own writing.

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Paper Hearts and Impromptu Bookmarks, probably. I love the premise of this story a lot and I have so many interesting ideas for it but at the same time, it also feels kind of cheap and cringey to me, in a way? It takes all of these ideas I probably would have had if I had been into Naruto when I was a kid and kind of compiles them all into one big story. Kakashi and Aiko’s relationship and story is still really important to me and I want to continue it someday but for right now, I just haven’t had the motivation or desire to write any more of it. I think I’m just so overwhelmingly preoccupied with writing Kakashi and Rei’s story that I can’t imagine writing any other Kakashi x OC fics right now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I want to say that I’m really good at capturing complex emotion? I don’t know, I write a lot of angst and mental upheaval in my fics which can be really difficult to try and capture, but I think I do a decent enough job of it? And just writing difficult subjects in general. I think it’s really important to address difficult topics such as mental illness and relationship difficulties and everything but I also want to try and write those topics in a way that is both authentic to the experience while also still tasteful. I don’t want to drive readers away with heavy subject matter but rather present a situation that feels real and authentic while also still being digestible. I may not be doing a very good job of that during the current arc of my fic that I’m working on, but I’m trying haha

EDIT 2: I also want to add onto this to say that I’m really proud of my organizational techniques for writing longfic. It’s not necessarily a strength in terms of the prose itself but it’s something that’s taken me years to really get a grasp on and find a method that works perfectly for me and so far, it’s been extremely helpful and beneficial to me. I don’t know where I would be now as a writer without these essential tools in my pocket.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I do a really bad job of the “show, don’t tell” thing. It can be really hard to balance descriptive prose with straightforward writing that moves things along. I don’t want to dwell on mental dialogue to the point where you lose track of what’s going on, but I also don’t want my stuff to read like “Character A did xyz. Character B said abc. They went to 123″, whatever. Another thing I struggle with is sentence variation. I always fall into the same patterns when I’m writing prose and I get really self-conscious about it because I don’t want to sound repetitive or disrupt the flow of the writing. One of my favorite things about prose is focusing on the cadence of the words, I think it’s one of the most beautiful things about writing in general, but it can just be really difficult to get a good grip on that. I’ve been told in the past that I apparently have a really good grasp/control of the language or whatever but sometimes I just find that really hard to believe when I look at my work with such scrutiny. I think one of my biggest pet peeves with my own writing, too, is feeling like I start all of my sentences the same five different ways. I’ll read other people’s works and they’ll write sentences like “Glass-blue water lapped against the shores of a deserted beach as a lonely woman gazed off into the distance” and I can just never figure out how to realistically write sentences that start like that in the context of my prose and it drives me fucking crazy, like I’m definitely jealous 😅

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never really thought much about it before, but I think there are pros and cons! For bilingual/multilingual readers, I think it can be a really enriching reading experience because they know what’s being said in both languages. For people who only know one language, however, unless a translation is provided, I feel like it can be really alienating. I think the best use of that for both worlds is using it as a means for miscommunication humor. Other than that, I think it can be a slippery slope that depends on what kind of reader you are and how it’s written.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Chronicles of Narnia! My very first fanfiction was a Narnia fanfic that I barely remember except that it laid the basis for Temptation and my Narnia fanfic series as a whole. I never posted this first iteration anyway, but I remember it was 2008/2009 and I wrote a solid 80 pages (which was wild for me at the time) and had gotten halfway through remixing the events of Prince Caspian when my computer crashed and I lost absolutely everything. I’m still heartbroken that it’s gone forever, not because I’d want to go back and read it necessarily (since I’m sure it was actually hot garbage) but at least for nostalgia’s sake. Either way, like I said, this long-lost fic laid the basis for the very first fanfiction I ever posted, the first published (and never finished) iteration of Temptation back in 2011 on deviantART and the since-defunct Figment. I fell out of the fandom around 2012/2013 and left the story alone for a while before ultimately deciding to completely redux and rewrite the story when the fixation swung back around again between 2016 and 2018.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Despite the fact that it’s still in-progress, definitely The Scarecrow and The Bell. This fic just genuinely means so damn much to me and I will cherish it for the rest of my life because of how much it’s given me, how much love and passion and time and even parts of myself that I have poured into this, and also just how expansive of a story this is. Not only does it touch on some very dark and heavy topics, but I’ve also created so much of my own characters and meta for this story that it’s almost an entire universe in and of itself. I’ve just contributed so much additional world-building and created so many new OCs to fill important roles in this story and in Rei’s life, and they’ve all become so deeply important to me as they’ve developed further over the years. I’ve come up with so many interesting ideas for everyone and their lives, which are all slowly becoming so rich and varied. Not to mention that it’s my most popular fic to date as well as my longest fic at 632k and counting. I’ve really just genuinely poured so much of my heart and soul into this story, it’s my absolute favorite thing I’ve ever done and I really mean it when I say that I will cherish it for the rest of my life.

#tag games #ramblings

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relicshamecircle · 2 years

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First Line Tag Game - Pilgrimage Edition

rules: list the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. @hollow-dweller tagged me for this, so I’ll give it a shot! A Summer Swim It was hot, and they were alone, and the river was right there, so of course Diarmuid suggested that he and the Mute take a swim. No Noble Knight The man was a soldier. Bluebells and Daylillies and Wild Roses Running Rampant Rancher, bachelor, aged 36, requests correspondence with a man looking for companionship; object matrimony. Box 202, Larkspur Post Office, MT. to mend bone, muscle, soul The wind was different that morning. Love’s Sting One day, when he was quite young, Diarmuid shucked off his shoes and walked barefoot on the beach, delighting in how the waves tickled at his toes, the saltwater soothing and cool and the sand all wet and squishy. Novices Gone Wild It was, in hindsight, not the wisest decision they could have made. Love Drunk It wasn't his usual scene. Pillow Talk Winter brought with it the biting cold, the early night, and a quiet melancholy. A Boy, a Doll, and an Egg He could no longer stay at the monastery with the monks. In Practice Once he found his elder brother in possession of a book. Well, here’s the first lines for my last ten Pilgrimage fics! I’ll do my best to analyze my writing. I notice that most of them are fairly short and are an observation or a memory of some sort—the man was a soldier, it wasn’t his usual scene, he could no longer stay at the monastery with the monks, etc. I tend to start with that observation and the rest of the first paragraph is explaining the context of that statement. Which is just writing, I guess. Hm. The longest first line from Love’s Sting is a memory from Diarmuid’s childhood, so it’s a little bit more rambling. I seem to start the more humorous and lighthearted fics with a bit of a longer sentence. And Diarmuid is usually the POV for the lighter canon setting fics. The two shortest first lines are from No Noble Knight and Love Drunk. The former is my first canon setting Raymond POV, while the latter is from a Modern AU David POV. I actually did worry that my Raymond POV would be too similar to how I write David/the Mute’s. Both tend to have these blunt, clipped kind of thoughts, but in the David/the Mute’s case it’s more out of this no-nonsense yet awkward personality. He’s constantly unsure of and questioning himself (but heh unconsciously waxes poetic about certain topics, i.e., Diarmuid). But Raymond is more curt and rude—he’s biting when he speaks and in his thoughts. While writing I definitely tend to think of sections are “beginning,” “middle,” (and “more middle,” “even more middle”) and “end.” I think that organizational approach is a holdover from my college and grad school essay days, even now that I’m writing fic. I also tend to write the beginning last—so I have the body of the fic, the conclusion, and then I go back to the start and look it over and think, “How do I introduce the events of this fic?” And then you get something like, “Once he found his elder brother in possession of a book,” or “It was, in hindsight, not the wisest decision they could have made.” I think that was more about my writing process than patterns, but maybe you found it entertaining!

#tag game pilgrimage edition

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prfctparis · 3 years

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Red Jell-O and A Trip to the Healers

AO3 Link

summary: in which mace windu spends part of night with two of the most stubborn kids in the jedi order. if he had any hair, they might make him go gray within the hour.

a/n: ok so basically, lately my mind has been super duper focused on my star wars au (which exists solely in my head right now) where anakin doesn’t turn to the dark side mostly bc he has a little sister (aka my oc zariza) and other factors, and instead of rambling about that for paragraphs on end i’ll just say: this is a drabble/one shot thing that takes place in that au, but years before the clone wars begins. if you’re curious, and if i did my math right, anakin is 14 here and zariza is 10. but yeah, hope u enjoy reading this!

Master Jedi Mace Windu stares at the young girl with a carefully blank expression. The youngling – an initiate, no older than ten, if he remembers correctly – stares back, almost as if she is daring him to say something, which… Doesn’t surprise him. Not in the slightest. This is Skywalker Number Two, after all, and even though she is much quieter than her older brother, she no doubt causes as much mayhem as he does.

He just wants a snack. He ran out of them in his own quarters. Looking at the young girl, something tells him he won’t be getting the snack.

Mace refrains from sighing.

This is not how he thought his night was going to go.

“Initiate Skywalker,” he begins, hoping it comes off as a greeting than a silent reprimand. “What a coincidence it is seeing you here.”

Her dark eyes narrow the slightest bit. The expression simultaneously looks like Anakin yet nothing like him at all.

Honestly, though he is loath to admit it, sometimes he forgets the two are brother and sister. After all, they hardly look anything alike – different fathers, he remembers Master Healer Che explain to him and the Council members when they were wondering if they were actually related. Anakin has blond hair that is bleached light from his years on Tatooine yet now is slowly darkening with age, and bright blue eyes and tanned, fair skin, whereas his sister has wild and wavy dark brown hair that almost looks black with eyes to match, and light brown skin. She also has abnormally sharp canines for a human – no doubt a hint at whatever type of alien race that is in her blood; they have yet been able to figure it out.

They both do that damn stubborn chin tilt thing, though.

It can be…aggravating, to say the least, when someone is trying to get them to do something and they don’t want to.

Mace gives into sighing when she doesn’t budge. “Zariza,” he tries again, “what are you doing? It is midnight.”

The stubborn chin tilt stays. Kriff. “I could ask you the same thing,” she says.

“You should be sleeping.”

“…So should you.”

“Skywalker.”

“Window.”

Mace’s brow twitches. Okay. Okay, he can deal with a ten year old. He successfully taught Depa, didn’t he?

(Then again, Depa hadn’t been a child who was hell bent on infuriating him on purpose; she had also been thirteen, and the only chaos she brought and still brings are the occasional pranks on him and the jokes about his bald head; luckily the padawan drama ended with the beginning of her Knighthood.)

If only Master Rheba Toome was available – or Kenobi. They both have somehow managed to become the designated Skywalker Wranglers, as Master Koon had once said after an incident when a slightly murderous droid with a flesh eating plant attached to it got loose in the Temple last year.

An idea comes to him suddenly. “You tell me why you are in the Temple’s kitchens so late, and I will say nothing to your crèche master. I might even let you leave with what you came for–,” he doesn’t miss the subtle yet sudden jolt of suspicious relief, “–but if you don’t, I will take you out of here myself and speak to Crèche Master Aryn the moment we get back to your clan.”

There’s a long, tense silence where Zariza debates with herself in her head. So long that Mace wonders if he will have to repeat himself. Then, “Ani’s sick.”

That…is not what Mace had been expecting. He raises a brow. “He is?”

She nods, and points to the fridge a few feet away. “And he likes the red jell-o.”

“Is he in the Halls?” Mace asks, growing slightly concerned because Obi-Wan got sent out to a solo mission just the day before and Padawan Skywalker hadn’t been allowed to go. He didn’t put up much of a fight, which shocked yet pleased everyone. Now, he knows possibly why he didn’t, and that makes the situation slightly worrying.

Zariza opens her mouth, pauses, closes it with pursed lips, and shakes her head no.

“And why isn’t he?”

She shrugs, a bit defensively. “I dunno. Probably thinks he’s fine. He went to his lessons all day – Aayla tried talking him into going to Healer Bant but it didn’t work.”

Mace frowns with furrowed brows, but quickly smooths his expression when gets a sense of guilt and shame and a vague impression of an apology, though he doesn’t know what for. He kneels down without a second thought, and hates (that’s not the Jedi way–) how her chin is tilted down, eyes casted to the side, as if expecting some harsh punishment for…what? Caring for her brother? Telling Mace that he’s sick? If he was any less of a Jedi, the ones who enslaved the Skywalkers would be six feet under.

He makes sure to release the anger into the Force before speaking again; he will need to meditate later. “I am not upset with you, little one. Not anymore, at least. I’m simply concerned about your brother’s health right now,” he assures her.

Zariza huffs, still looking away, but she’s no longer tucking her chin into her chest. “So am I,” she mumbles petulantly. “S’why I want the red jell-o. He likes it.”

“So you have said. Can you tell me how he was feeling last time you saw him? Or in your Force bond, right now?”

“Uh… Sick.” A beat; Mace refrains from spouting a heavily sarcastic remark to a ten year old. “Um. He threw up once he got back to his and Obi-Wan’s rooms. Said something ‘bout being really, really tired earlier. He’s sleeping now.”

Mace hums, and stands up. “All right. Well then, let’s go. I want to check on him, and if needed I will be taking him to the Halls of Healing.”

Zariza frowns as she finally looks at him, but then her eyes travel to the fridge. There’s a silent question there. She goes to ask it but stops herself, and nods. “Okay,” she says instead, almost a mumble, and turns to leave.

He watches her for a second, glances at the fridge that holds the red jell-o, and then moves to walk beside her. “If I was sure it would not upset his stomach, I would let you take some jell-o to him now. But… Maybe tomorrow, if he is feeling better, you can.”

As she tilts her head to look up at Mace in surprise, he makes sure to stare straight ahead. “…Really?”

Mace nods. Then, looks down at her and gives her the barest of smiles. “Really.”

Zariza’s eyes narrow once again. “You promise?”

“I promise– but only if he feels better,” he emphasizes when she starts to grin. “No other time than that.”

“What if he asks for some and he doesn’t feel better?”

Patience, he reminds himself as they walk through the sun halls of the Temple. “Then ask Master Healer Che, or one of the other Healers.”

He gets silence as a response and he glances down to make sure she hasn’t suddenly run off. It’s happened before with her crèche master and Master Rheba Toome and Knight Kenobi – one could say she has a knack for simply sneaking off at the most random times – and he would very much dislike if she snuck away from him in the dark hallways. But, she’s still at his side, clearly thinking about something. Hopefully about what Mace just said and not about putting another flesh eating plant on a half working droid of Anakin’s.

“…What if there aren’t any Healers around?”

“There will be.”

“But what if there aren’t?” she presses.

Mace sighs quietly, hopefully enough to where Zariza doesn’t notice. “Then wait for one.”

More silence. Another glance. She’s still there.

“…I guess I can do that,” she says.

That is, well, kind of concerning. But better than the girl outright disagreeing with him, that’s for sure.

The rest of the walk to Knight Kenobi’s and Padawan Skywalker’s room is done in silence. Mace acknowledges the nocturnal Jedi with a nod, and Zariza shyly waves at the ones who notice her. When they get there Zariza let’s herself in, unlocking the quarters with zero problem, and hurries inside. Mace follows at more relaxed pace. He notices as she takes one look at the living area’s couch, frowns, and makes her way to the little hallway. Mace looks as well, and notices the padawan’s abandoned holopads for a few of his lessons, as well as just a general mess of the area that one would expect from a 14 year old when left alone.

Zariza speaking tears Mace’s attention away from the mess.

“Why the kark are you lying on the bathroom floor? ”

“E chu ta, Zari! None of your business.”

Ah. Huttese cuss words. Nothing unusual, but still.

“Watch your language, young ones,” Mace reprimands lightly, and makes his way to the bathroom where Anakin, indeed, lying on the bathroom floor.

Anakin groans. “Ah, chuba, why’d you bring him?” He sounds pitiful, so much so that it comes out as a whine more than anything. He’s sweating, too, and sickly pale, with visible bags under his eyes from where Mace and Zariza stand at the bathroom entrance. By the smell, Mace and tell that he’s thrown up again. None of is visible, so he’s sincerely hoping Anakin made it to the toilet in time and flushed.

“Because you’re a sick koochoo,” Zariza says.

“Language,” Mace says almost absentmindedly.

She huffs and crosses her arms. “I only called him an idiot.”

“I’m not sick,” the teen denies. It’s a weak argument. Mace can only raise an eyebrow. “And I’m not an idiot, either!” Raising his voice defensively sends Anakin into a coughing fit that ends rather quickly. He groans and curls into a ball, all the while keeping his face on the tile flooring.

Zariza rolls her eyes. “And I’m Jabba.”

Mace sighs and enters the bathroom. He crouches down to Anakin, and places the back of his hand on the boy’s forehead. He jerks away just as quickly, though that doesn’t keep Anakin from making a pitiful sound at the loss of contact. Mace’s lips form a thin line. “I think it’s best if I take you to the Healers, Padawan Skywalker,” he says.

“Nooo, I’m not sick!”

Mace shakes his head. “You are – you have a fever, Skywalker, and it’s best we take you to the Halls of Healing since Knight Kenobi is off planet.”

He mumbles and groans something indiscernible.

Zariza walks over and nudges Anakin’s side with her foot. “Do you want some red jell-o?”

“Kriff no.”

Mace almost tells them to watch their language again, but decides that is a fight he will have with them another day. Preferably during daylight hours and not at midnight when they were all supposed to be healthy and sleeping. Preferably, it won’t be him having such conversations with them.

(Truthfully, he loves the children in the Order, the Skywalker siblings included – but right now in his exhausted, slightly hangry state, he can only spend so much time with them.)

She hums. “What about tomorrow?”

Anakin stills. “…Maybe.”

The initiate grins and looks at Mace, clearly pleased with the answer.

He nods and gives her a smile of acknowledgment, then refocuses on the task at hand. “Can you get up and walk? Or will I be carrying you?”

Anakin gives another response that might as well be in another language, and Mace closes his eyes as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He breathes in slowly a few times, centers himself, and opens his eyes again a few moments later.

“Okay. Carrying, it is.”

Anakin hardly protests – well, he tries, at least, but it can hardly be counted as anything – and Mace picks up him with not too much difficulty; one arm around the boy’s shoulders, the other under his knees. As Mace leaves the rooms, Zariza follows and turns off the lights along the way, and even locks the door once they are out into the hallway.

And then she starts talking. Continuously.

It’s a vast difference from earlier, and it catches Mace by surprise. Quickly, though, it dawns on him that she’s talking for her brother’s benefit. From droids to podraces to Master Yoda’s swamp stew to the names of new plants she has learned about, and so and so forth. Something about the rambling must help, because Anakin relaxes more as the walk to the Halls of Healing goes by. So much so that he gives up on holding his head up and rests it on Mace’s shoulder, almost passing out completely by the time they make it to the Halls, Zariza tapering off about a holoshow she heard one of the older initiates talk about the other day.

“Master Windu,” one of the Master Healers, a nocturnal species, greets with a bow. Dark, large eyes focus on the brother and sister once they stand straight. “Ah, and the Skywalkers,” they say, playfully flicking their tail in Zariza’s direction to get a giggle out of her.

“Hullo,” she says, smiling up at the Healer.

“Healer Rou,” Mace returns the greeting. “I’m afraid we have a sick padawan on our hands.”

“Hm, yes I see,” Healer Rou says, and moves closer to rest a hand on Anakin’s forehead just like Mace had done before. They remove it quickly, though not as fast Mace did. “He definitely has a fever. How long has he been feeling badly?”

The question is aimed to Mace, but he looks down at Zariza for the answer.

Her eyebrows raise at the realization. “What? Oh, uh… Last night, maybe?” She shrugs, shuffling awkwardly. “I dunno, really, I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize, little one,” Healer Rou assures her. They pat her head with a kind smile. “It is okay if you don’t know.”

Zariza nods, relaxing a little. “He, uh, he’s puked a couple of times.”

Healer Rou hums, and motions for them to follow them. They do. “It is most likely a stomach virus of sorts, nothing too serious and nothing we can’t handle. It has been going around this month, I’m afraid. Padawan Skywalker will be the fifth one to have gotten it. I am assuming the plan is to have him spend the time here while he gets better? Until Knight Kenobi returns, that is.”

Mace nods while they enter a medical room, and carefully sets Anakin on the bed after Zariza dashes forward to pull the covers back. “Yes, it is. And Initiate Skywalker wants to give him his favorite red jell-o tomorrow if able.”

Healer Rou smiles, amused. “Of course. Come by at lunch and if he can stomach it, whoever’s rotation it is should allow it. Now; I have got everything under control from here, Master Windu – I will be sure to keep you updated, and will send a message out to Knight Kenobi letting him now as well.”

“Thank you, Healer Rou,” Mace tells them.

“Yeah, thanks Healer Rou!” Zariza exclaims, and rushes to hug the Jedi.

Healer Rou chuckles, hugging the young girl back. “Of course. Head on off to bed, now; we don’t need two sick Skywalkers,” they tease.

“Fine, I guess,” she sighs, far too dramatically for a ten year old that has both adults stifling their laughs.

But unfortunately, it actually takes ten more minutes to leave. Master Vokara Che appears, and speaks to Mace about how long Anakin might have to stay while Healer Rou pulls up Anakin’s medical file. Mace signs what he needs to, double checks with Vokara Che and Rou what he knows about any medicinal allergies he might have, and then leaves. Zariza sticks like glue to him the entire time.

Two steps out of the Halls of Healing, Mace stops in his tracks and picks her up after she yawns three times in less than two minutes.

“Th’nks fo’ helpin’, Window,” she mumbles into his shoulder with muffled, half asleep words.

Mace sighs, but smiles despite himself. He gently pats her back. “Of course, Zariza. Let’s get you back to your clan, hm?”

The answering soft snore he gets in return has him chuckling.

He hadn’t planned on his night to go this way, but he would be lying if he said he regrets it.

#star wars oc #mace windu #anakin skywalker #oc: zariza #take the fear that i don’t need #my writing #star wars #star wars fanfiction

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snakeboistan · 3 years

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Hi, still active? Just wondering. Anyways, thoughts on Rio and Karma with the crossdressing thing? I honestly think it wasn't handled very well, and while I can see that they would do something like that before they knew any better, I believe they would've stopped or toned it down a lot with the gender jokes (getting rid off the crossdressing completely) after they learned why, and it's honestly upsetting they didn't to me (still love them, just hated the writing there and that arc in general).

Yeah, totally get you.

The whole cross-dressing thing is actually one of the reasons why Karma and Rio aren’t exactly my favourite characters. Like, to be honest, if you think about, what’s the difference between the way Hiromi makes Nagisa cross-dress and the devil duo make him cross dress? They both do it for selfish reasons (albeit

And you know what, there’s a really high chance that Karma knows that Nagisa’s insecure about his appearance. During the Civil War arc, when he’s provoking Nagisa to fight him, he comments ‘or do you have the mind and the body of a ten year old’ (which is a total low blow, dude - seeing that his ‘ten year old body’ was the product of abuse (-_-) ). Karma knew Nagisa longer than anyone so he must’ve known how badly that would sting. And also, how come Nagisa seems to be the only person that they prank and tease to that extent? I know that Karma’s got something with Terasaka but Nagisa is the one that get’s a lot of the brunt of their teasing? Even though there are characters like Okajima who have more comedic roles than him. But no, change Nagisa’s future career form to nurse and ask Nagisa if he plans to become trans (no offense to any trans people, please no that I didn’t mean that in a bad way I’m just really frustrated in how Karma jokes about Nagisa changing his gender in a way that’s mocking even though the other doesn’t like it. I’m really really sorry if that came out rude, that wasn’t my intention)

And what’s bad isn’t just the jokes and the cross-dressing, it’s the fact that even after the ‘apology’ (that Karma didn’t even do), they still made him wear a skirt and then held him down and forced a maid dress onto him - and sorry I’m just gonna go off on Koro-Sensei here: WHY THE HECK DID KORO-SENSEI DO NOTHING WHEN THEY PRACTICALLY FORCED HIM TO WEAR THAT THING. He was literally smiling in the background and taking a photograph of Nagisa, who looked very uncomfortable and actually distressed, even though he met Hiromi, he saw how badly her delusions hurt Nagisa, how she nearly made him commit arson. When he heard her talk about how she wished he was born a boy and how she likes him having long hair and how she was mad at him for tying it up because having it down makes him ‘pretty’ and more girlier (he even brushed and did his hair for him when he saw how upset he was when she undid it) yet he still just sat in the sidelines and watched them do this to his student, who he’s supposed to be protecting and looking after.

I’m sorry but if you continue to do the thing that you apologised for then that apology is absolutely worthless

And I know people say that Nagisa never says anything so it can’t really be that bad, but the thing is Nagisa lives in a household where speaking up about his feelings means that he gets hurt. He’s also really forgiving (like Terasaka forced him to commit suicide and he never held it against him. And he’s always brushing off other people’s apologies like when Karasuma hit him during Takaoka’s debut episode - he frickin bowed to Takaoka at the end of that episode even when nobody else did) and doesn’t like holding grudges. He’s the type of guy to forgive and move on then and there and . Plus he doesn’t have a lot of self-esteem. He literally calls himself a ‘nobody’ when Karma left him and says that it makes sense for someone as great as Karma to not want to share the stage with him. And he does have a habit of seeing the good in people so he doesn’t really acknowledge the way other’s hurt him. Anyway going back to the main point of this paragraph - Nagisa never says anything when his friends make jokes and cross-dress him but when we find out about his home life, he actually says that he doesn’t like it. He hates it when his mother talks about how he looks because ‘I’m not a girl, I’m not a girl’ and when he looks at the mirror to see him ‘wearing’ the dress, he literally sees himself in chains.

Also, can we talk about the other girls of 3-E during the Island Arc? First they make him stand in the front, despite his very vocal protests, then they make him hang out with some creepy dude that was hitting on them. Like I know that he’s an alright guy and that it’s because of the plot for the festival episode but what if he was actually really seedy and actually tried something with Nagisa - his dad is rich so he could’ve gotten away with it (not to mention during that one seen when Nagisa legitimately thinks that Yuuji was going to hurt him when he made that fist). Like, non of them noticed that he wasn’t enjoying any of this? Not even Kayano, one of his closest friends, could tell that he wasn’t comfortable at all. At least Isogai, being the gentleman he is, tried to make Nagisa feel better in a round about way by talking about how disguises are good for assassins - which Karma had to ruin with the ‘cut it off’ joke. I know for a fact that if Sugino wasn’t poisoned and was there with the rest of them, he wouldn’t let them get away with disrespecting his BFF like that (after I find Karma and force him to delete every single cross-dressing pic of Nagisa he has). Like Comic relief? Seriously dude? Because I saw Nagisa’s face when he saw that photo and ‘relief’ wasn’t exactly on it.

In conclusion, the anime did Nagisa way more dirty than the manga (if you read the manga’s version of Nagisa and Hiromi’s relationship then you’ll see what I’m talking about because whoo) but unless Karma, Nakamura and Yusei Matsui all give him a ten page letter of apology for all of the s*it they put him through with their ‘jokes’, then I will never let this go.

Sorry, this probably makes no sense or just looks like one convoluted ramble. I have a lot of feelings about this. And the fact that years worth of abuse is shoved under the rug during Hiromi’s ten minute ‘redemption’ - which is whole other kettle of fish.

And yeah, I’m still active. I’m just tied up with stuff and I’m a big procrastinator so feel free to send more asks if you want to 😊

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