#**Its Complicated(tm)

[galedekarios]

altonaufein & relationships 🌙

i saw this making the rounds on twitter and wanted to do it for my drow son.

i would like to see more people do it so i'll be tagging (with no pressure, of course):

@voliialpha, @lairofsentinel, @shibepetter, @rahabs, @thenightsong, @leopardmuffinxo, @utopianoverlord, @lokorum, @galfreybaenre, @poreyneel, @hawke, @zahra-hydris, @carusti, @fuzzy-set, @inkberrry, @polygone-moi, @bg3, @bigbraincel

🖤

#i'll expand on this at a later point but these are the Vibes(tm) for now #it was hard to settle on just one word to encompass a relationship and its development #it would have perhaps been more on brand for alton to put complicated on almost all of them but that's a cop out sdfksld #if minsc was on this template he'd prob be on neutral as well #or perhaps friends/complicated #i need to play more with him in the party #ch: altonaufein #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: personal

[thermodynamic-comedian]

My silly headcanon is that Jonah didn't know that Elias was a trans man (without bottom surgery) when he did the weird possession thing so he just went "Wait.. Where's my dick?? Why didn't I know about this??" And the eye went "Dude don't be transphobic"

this doesn't really go against elias' canon gender presentation, but i do like it. it's fun.

#and its also added complexity to my already incredibly complex jonah magnus gender headcanon #(transfem genderfluid otherkin she/he/it + they/them sometimes. #mild gender dysphoria about her chest and hands extreme species dysphoria about its mind and how it works.) #so accidentally possessing a trans man would. further complicate her Gender Feelings(tm) #tma #the magnus archives #tma headcanons

[iztopher]

on that note. a week or two ago i swapped out some info in my about to list my gender as genderqueer as a super low stakes way of feeling it out lol

ive spent pretty much my whole life w/ my gender on a sliding scale from "agender" to "gnc cis girl" and while i definitely still feel more connected to the former than the latter rn i like. really appreciate genderqueer as a term that captures every stage of that

#dear mel #i know its okay to change ur identity but i kind of am tired of feeling like i need a new way to describe my gender every year and a half #i like having a word that feels like its described me at every point in the last fifteen years & will for the forseeable future #if i wanna get more specific and granular at any point in time well i can do that too #and i also feel like the idea of queering gender is like. central to how i relate to it #how else do i describe feeling overall genderless but also such bitter disappointment at the idea of my gnc traits being explained away #as oh im not Really a Girl TM which is why i dont want these things girls want #like no. even if i was a cis woman i would not want to be a mother or a wife and i would want to dress masc and present masc/androgynous #which is i think why i have such issues w applying the idea of dysphoria to myself? #because for me its so much more complicated than (x) trait is associated with (y) gender im assumed to be and am not #and i know dysphoria is more complicated than that too but thats often how i see conceptualized and i dont want it applied that way to me y

[dapperrokyuu]

Hating the Four Levels Below arc but also enjoying it because it's made hateable with intention. Truly, "Wow, this place is a freakshow. I dont respect literally any of you people."

#dee p thoughts #majo to yajuu #I already dont really care about vampires and then All That #but its makes sense- theres also genuinely a lot of cool stuff in the arc- #but explicitly that level sucks. its really bad! its was made that way......... #arc made me feel really smart ngl between oscar and the reveal of the floors themselves whewww #dunward is...dunward its complicated but its neat that its not just Bad(TM)

[trainingdummyrabbit]

love making aus. ill be sitting here for hours w th digimon au like “ok but what are the Logistics of it how does it Happen how does it Lead Up To Happening and what does that mean for the theme or consistency of the whole story i have to have Every Detail Ever” and then canon just “yea they were just standing there and then water up and shoof’d em. yea they were at camp and the water got em. theyre in the digital world now, sorry.”

#'lemme rewatch t make sure im getting the vibes right its probably more complicated than i think' Nope. Water(tm) KFNDKJ #not a complaint btw. i completely forgot how silly th digikids were; i missed them :') #piktalk

[eldesperadont]

Cole @ Matt “did you think id forget what you did to me??”

I wonder when Kyle remembers what Cole did to him-

#👀 #in nxt at least #im less versed on the history between them beforehand but i know its complicated #wrestling thoughts tm #adam cole

[dhampir-dyke]

IVE FINALLY COME UP WITH NAMES FOR THE MAIN CHARACTERS IN MY STORY IM SO HAPPY

#their names are Tatzel and Rin!!!!!!!! theyre siblings and i wuv them like theyre my kids #Tatzel is a little girl* who was born with monster-ey features; specifically of the big cat variety #think less catgirl and more 'apex predator in the body of a small child' #Rin is a little boy* who was born with monstery bird-like features; not sure on a particular species yet #**Its Complicated(tm) #i also have ideas for adult/older characters who are also of the fucked up monster variety #particularly a little old moth-lady and a boar-person #theyre both adorable to me but i want very much for there to be an air of 'what the fuck is that thing' from others in the story #at least upon first meeting them #like okay imagine meeting a person with the most unsettling of animal features. eyes slightly too big with irises tht turn from wide saucers #to tiny slits #or someone that takes their hoody off and theyre a little /too/gangly and angular underneath. their bones r thin and hollow for flight #like have you ever seen a featherless owl?

[locked-into-eternity]

«on todays episode of “heart and mind can only get along when theyre looking after the one person they dont hate”»

#«heart doesnt actually hate mind though» #«but at the same time he does» #«its Complicated(tm)» #«mind does hate heart though (WHICH IS COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED AND I AM NOT PORTRAYING MIND AS A BITCH FOR HATING THEM)»

[psycheros]

i keep thinking about changing my name irl but its sooooooo scary like i cannot even begin to think about telling anyone

#jo rambles #and like #jo is a name i keep coming back to on here specifically #but it hasnt felt right in a while #more like a hat #unfortunately i do want to go by psyche #which is like fine #i just have to negate myself from whatever cringe was instilled in me years ago #about like picking your own name #its also complicated bc like #im not A Woman tm #but it doesnt feel right to refer to myself as trans in any capacity #emotions are hard for me #anyway

[sing-me-under]

I��ve always hated how media needs to be “palatable.” I think it’s annoying because people and situations irl aren’t always “palatable” either. Hell, more often than not, real people don’t fit the narratives touted by media, and that creates unrealistic and often misleading expectations.

#personal #this is mostly in trailer to a lot of HB criticisms #but it applies to basically every fandom I’ve been in this past four years #which is basically DSMP and Batfam #some others but those three’s fandoms are the biggest offenders #like the creators and the stories themselves aren’t even trying to be Palatable #which is why I like them #but their fandoms always seem to try to make #everything more palatable and sanitized or shit #it’s weird af #like #a lot of fandom is embracing the weird and non-mainstream aspects #but somehow Weird also has its own expectations for palatability #otherwise it’s Problematic(tm) #people are complicated! #they fuck up! #they’re cruel and nasty #they don’t always lead with kindness and they may expect the worse from others #they’re not going to fit the picture perfect model you want them to fit #and that’s good because that’s what makes them compelling! #if you don’t like it don’t read it #or watch it #not everything needs to exemplify moral purity

[quartergremlin]

Sleepover.

what would a turtle top surgery look like? we have our answer.

I spent so long designing Donnie's room and then drew. none of it.

first/previous/next

transcript:

Leo: Heeey Don! Have fun on your special date?

Donnie: Move over.

L: It's been forever since we've had a sleepover!

D: Whatever satisfies your hyperactive nesting instinct.

L: ...

D: And stops you from stealing my stuff.

Meme: Donnie after sleeping in their mask

Instagram monologue:

It's trans Donnie hours. Currently batting around questions of turtle gender, kappa sexual dimorphism, and human vs yokai gender presentation. bc in regular turtles females are flat on bottom and males have a slight concave plastron (so they can valance on top of the shell when fucking) so I made it canon that in kappa (turtle yokai within the rottmnt canon, that the turtles are sometimes referred to as even though they are mutants (so I'm assuming they're similar enough plus the origins of yokai [is] basically the same, since kappa evolved through generations where the turtles took humanization steroids and speedran their evolution)) - gets read as masculine.

/however/being top-heavy like that reads as female to humans. the turtles were mostly socialized as humans and in human culture (as much as they could ve in kind-of hiding, but now they can very much belong in yokai culture

they /are/ afab (kind of, its a bit complicated - turtle chromosomes don't work like human chromosomes and if we run under the assumption that they /did/ get a sry gene from yoshi, something something something no matter how you look at it they're some flavor of intersex), but how much of their turtits situation is coming from their turtle or human side is up in the air

PAIRED. with the opposite yokai/human gender presentation scales here, can make being! any gender kind of complicated! nevermind a trans mutant ninja turtle. so the /real/ question kind of boils down to. when considering presenting a certain gender for society, which side do the turtles put more stock in? (plus the island question)

asking that with leo was easy - he asked what Top Surgery For Turtles^tm and donnie told him that he'd be transing in the wrong direction. Since Leo's never really had a problem with his body anyway he took it at face value and he's fine. Donnie, however. is nonbinary plus transmasc. if talking it from a purely yokai standpoint, he's doing pretty good. but donnie's always put a bit too much stock in others' approval. see: the purple dragons, big mama, etc. and being nonbinary under normal circumstances is shit like. usually.

Some people just. shoot for confusion. but how do you even start when both sides are pretty certain they're right in opposite directions. anyway the concludes my Trans Donnie Hours, thank you for coming to my TEDx talk.

#quarterdraws #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #clarification comic #rise leo #rise donnie

[everythingelseisextra]

David and Goliath

Part Sixteen: Cain (Tommy's POV)

Description: Tommy fucks up. :) Warnings: references to rape, references to suicide, language, minor self harm Word Count: 3490 Tag List: @theshelbyslimited  @ttaechi  @weaponizedvirtue  @Majesticcmey  @Optimisticsandwichgladiator  @zablife  @princesssterek  @mm0thie  @callsignvenus @ay0nha  @mgdixon  @fairytale07 @dreamy-caramel  @ce1iat  @algae-tm @dragonsondragons @trentknd @nothingofsimplicity @babayaga67 @shelbydelrey @globetrotter28 @look-at-the-soul @notalxx @chaengist

Arrow House sits in silence, only half sane. The ghosts of the Shelby family haunt the entrance, their shouts echoing in your ears. The commotion in the entryway reached you, even as you sat in the master bedroom, and Polly’s cries and Arthur’s yells and John’s indignant roars fill the quiet room. You close your eyes, and you can imagine the police, Moss in their midst, forcing them into the darkened, freezing cells that you yourself sat in only a few days ago. And Tommy at the edge of it, watching his family taken from him as a consequence of his own actions, an unforgivable choice he made. 

You expect him to join you when he’s ready. It tugs on you, the sense that you need to protect him from himself, but you have to trust that his ability to fight his own mind will hold out. You trust that your presence in the house is reason enough for him to keep the gun in its drawer.

You think that this will be another thing he buries so deep that he forgets there’s anything underground. This will be too painful for him to keep in his hands, and it will trickle out between the cracks of his fingers until there is nothing to hold. His family is his core, the glowing ember of warmth that lives next to the heart he likes to pretend is stone. Now, he’s lost them. Now, all he has is you.

It’s some time before he enters the room. He doesn’t look at you, just sweeps past, heading into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him and water runs softly from behind it. You wait in silence, leaning back in your chair and closing your eyes, listening to the impure silence. The water stops, the door creaks open, and his footsteps slowly walk across the room. You open your eyes to find him heading towards the door, eyes set on the wooden floor in front of him. Your eyes narrow. There’s a hesitation to each step he takes, a slight pause, a tilt of his head. You’re waiting for him. He’s waiting for you. 

“Tommy.” You stand and walk over to him, your bare feet cold on the wood. Part of you wants to inject some playfulness into your words, but the rest of you knows that, after something like this, that might be his breaking point. “Hey, come sit. Take a second to talk to me.” 

His gaze stays on the floor, but, almost imperceptibly, he nods. You step back and lead him over to the chair you’d been sitting in, in front of a small desk that you’d claimed as yours the past few days. You sit on the bed, facing him, hands on either side of you. Soft light flows from the window next to you, and the sunrays seem to gentle your gazes on each other, creating a sort of barrier. It’s warm on your face and reflects in his eyes, which refuse to look at you.

“I would give you a pep-talk,” you start, nervousness slowing your words. “I would tell you that you’ve had high highs and low lows, and that the pendulum will swing back up again, but I won’t. I respect you too much for that. You and I both know that life tends to kick you while you’re down. We know that there’s no such thing as rock bottom, it’s always possible to go lower. So, all I’ll say is this; I’m here. I’m not leaving. As complicated as I’m learning your life is, I’d like to try to be simple together. If you want to be alone, that’s okay. If you don’t, I can be with you.”

He leans back in his chair, sighing. Exhaustion tightens his skin over his bones, his face drawn, his eyes a little glassy. “You’re not leaving.”

“No.” You furrow your brow, confused. “Why would I?”

“My family is gone. My boy is back. I’m a new man.” He slides a small metal container from his pocket, opens it, and pulls out a cigarette. “I have no room in my life for a woman who sets no store for a man’s needs.”

You nod slowly, almost incredulous. “You’re telling me that, after all this, you want me to leave because I won’t fuck you.”

He inclines his head, reaching out to offer you a cigarette. Your jaw clenches and you ignore his hand. Your next words are clipped. “My horses are literally in your stables. I’m not sure what kind of crisis move you’re making here, but it feels like one that’ll be… how should I say this in a way you’ll understand? Bad for business.” 

He lights his cigarette and takes a long drag. He speaks on the exhale. “Bad for business is a woman I can’t explain living in my house. You’re not a whore, you’re not my wife, you’re not the mother of my son.” 

You chuckle. “So you’re telling me I either become your whore, marry you, or become a nanny for Charles.” 

“I’m telling you to leave.” 

“And then, months later, hear that you’ve blown your brains out, because no one, including me, would pick up the phone.” 

“Curly will start moving your horses in the morning. I’ve covered the cost of transportation.”

“How kind of you.” 

“In the meantime, you’ll pack. You’ll prepare yourself to leave.” He wiggles his cigarette at you, eyes dull. 

“And what if I say no?” You lean forward, almost mocking. 

“If you say no, then, unfortunately, I may have to get the authorities involved.” 

“‘Yes, hello, I’d like to report that a woman who I said I’d protect and invited to live with me is living in my house. Has she committed a crime? Yes, she won’t fuck me when I want, because I’m a teenaged boy who needs to get off every thirty minutes.” You let anger slide into your voice, let it bite. “Jesus Christ, listen to yourself.” 

He blinks blankly at you, then rises with a soft groan. “There’s work to be done. Please collect your things.”

“Thomas.” You stand, hands curling into fists, then relaxing. “You send me away now, you’re sending me back to the life I used to live. If you understand that, you’re as bad as the men who sold and raped me.” 

His eyebrows raise in an infuriatingly bewildered expression, then he shakes his head. “I am. I apologize if that wasn’t clear from the start.” 

—

Night falls. Fog fills the air around you, rises from the warm bodies of the horses. Unlike your own barn, Tommy’s is lit, and you can see the confused, wide, liquid eyes staring at you from within the stalls. Draco nickers quietly, throwing his head. He’s been your rock, your shoulder to cry on, the only comfort to you on nights where your body felt as battered and broken and abused as it had during those awful years of horror. 

It’s not him you stand with, though. It’s not his mane you bury your tears in, not his warm body you lean against to carry your shivering weight. Iris had one more month of recovery before he would be able to be ridden again, and now, you have to apologize to him. You have to apologize to all of them, in time, for being unable to care for them. For forfeiting the safety you thought you had. For failing. 

You would be brought back to your own property in an hour. Your horses would trickle in after you. You’d feed them, slip back into the routine of caring for them, and the timer on your life would start to count down. You could fight. You would fight. You’d fight tooth and nail, use every bit of strength built up over years of manual labor, shoot straight and fast and confident, and still, you know you’ll lose. 

Iris turns his head to blink at you as you stand by his side, leaning your weight on his shoulder. You wipe your face of tears and draw yourself up, pulling your shoulders back and squaring your legs to your hips like a soldier. You stand strong. Right now, you’re a survivor. Your quiet claim to life is that you fought for it. Like David with Goliath, you stood against a gargantuan opponent and managed to live to tell the tale. And, here you are, with your bags packed, ready to walk yourself back to that Goliath and allow him to smash your skull. You have no slingshot. You have no rock. There is no God on your side. 

Your fingers gently pull through the knots in Iris’ mane. You should be angry. There should be a burning anger in you that threatens to overwhelm. You should feel it in your bones, in your heart and veins, and you should act in some sort of way on it. You should set fire to his garden, release his horses to the wild. 

Truth is, you don’t know how to be angry with someone. All your life, you’ve been taught to stand down, to take whatever comes without question, and to continue despite it all. You’ve been trained to cower, to take each hit without protest. A cornered animal will always bite, but an abused pet will flinch away, fearful, all the teeth beaten out of it. You weren’t meant to fight as hard as you do. 

You close your eyes, and like Tommy said for you to do, you prepare to leave. 

Your body has a master and it is not you, and it is not God. Caged by a twisted form of humanity, you will be an animal at a zoo. You will gawked and stared at, poked and prodded, and, behind the scenes, you will be used for all your worth. This body you were born in ripples with scars from the years of prostitution and mental torture, and it’s a cold sort of hell. So much touch and so little care. You are only worth so much. You know the literal price of your life. You know how much this body of yours sells for. 

When you open your eyes, the world is in black and white. You will not see the blood they rip from your veins. You will not see the color of their bare skin. Your hand moves from Iris’ mane to your upper arm, and you press down on it, your fingernails biting into your skin. There’s an echo of pain somewhere in you, but your skin is so thick that it’s separate, a step away from your consciousness. You will not feel the penetration. You will not feel the hands grabbing at your flesh, you will not feel their bodies pressed against you. A horse calls and the sound bounces away from you, not quite touching you, and you take a deep breath. You will not hear their moans or the heated lies they tell you in the dark. 

This body that is all you have will no longer be yours. It is only a matter of time. 

The rest of the night crawls past you as a blur. You know you are steady. You know that you step with purpose, your head held high, with no connection with what you feel or how you will survive this. You lift your suitcase and walk down the elegant, well-lit stairs, the portraits of Tommy’s late wife staring down at you with a gaze that tells you that you are lesser. You haven’t seen him since he left the master bedroom. There’s a murmur of emotion in you when you think of him, but you brush past it in your mind. There is no room for you in his life. 

A car waits out front for you. You take a deep breath and look up at the stars. When you were younger, before the world turned against you, you thought you would reach out and touch them even if it burned. Now, you know you could, and the fire would eat away at you, and you would feel nothing. You thought you’d been as close to death as you could be without dying, but this emptiness in you, this blurred vision, this hollow chest is proof that you can stand hand in hand and not die. Maybe, you think, maybe you would rather die than become a commodity once again. There is a gun in the kitchen drawer. 

You slip into the back seat of the car, and, at least, it is warm. The driver glances back at you in the mirror. He says something that washes over you and away, and you turn to look out the window, then twist to look back at Arrow House. A single light shines from the drawing room, the curtain pulled back, and you know he is watching. Despicable and traitorous, he watches you crawl back to a life you said you would never live again. 

You turn back as the car begins to move out of the driveway. You close your eyes and a tear rolls out. You sit in the darkness and shrink into your mind, sitting in the back of it, watching through as your body breathes and shifts and lives apart from you, without you. You wipe the tear and, eyes still closed, you melt into the atmosphere and become nothing. 

The car jerks to a stop and you open your eyes. The driver lets out a slow breath and glances back at you, then looks back through the windshield. 

Lit by the headlights in sharp relief, Tommy stands, breathing hard as if he’d run to stop you. You watch him, expectation in his eyes, and you see a spoiled little boy who enjoys playing games. 

“Keep driving,” you say, voice hoarse.

“Ma’am, I can’t. He’s—”

“Go around.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Hesitantly, the driver inches the car forward, turning to move around Tommy, who’s eyes widen slightly. 

He reaches underneath his coat and pulls out his gun, pointing it at the driver. 

“Ma’am, I—” Panic fills the driver’s voice. “I’m sorry, this isn’t—”

“It’s okay. Stop the car.” 

He does as you say, and, slowly, you open the door and step out into the night. 

You stay where you are in the darkness, letting Tommy stay in the light. You wait for him to speak first. 

“You forgot something.” His voice carries over the sound of the engine. 

You cross your arms, trying to warm yourself from the cold. “Oh, did I? Please, enlighten me.” 

“Come into the light, and I’ll show you.” 

“No.” 

He looks up at the black sky, then steps out into the darkness, coming within a few feet of you. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small square box, rounded corners, velvet wrapped. Your heart goes cold. He opens it and holds it out. A sleek, silver ring glints in the light from the headlights, golden highlights sparking. You shiver and look up at him. 

“Not a whore, not a mother.” He smiles faintly. “Yet.”

You slap him. Not hard, but enough to make your point. Then, without a word, you turn and walk down the long driveway back to the house. In your periphery, you watch him reach up and touch his cheek where you hit him, then slowly close the box and place it back in his pocket. 

—

He waits an hour before he seeks you out. You’re curled in the fetal position, lying in one of the spare bedrooms. You stare blankly at the wall across from you. There’s no color to your vision. The pillow has long since dried from your tears. 

He knocks on the door, waits a full minute for a response. When he doesn’t get one, he quietly lets himself in. His footsteps are bare and light. He sits on the opposite side of the bed, sighing, and you close your eyes again. You’re not sure you want to hear what he has to say. 

“I’m not a good man.” His voice is quiet, almost shameful, and he speaks to the ground, faint to you. “I’ve made that clear tonight. You never heard about me cause you were never in Birmingham. If you had, you’d know, I’m not a good man.”

You clench your jaw and stay quiet, wait for him to say what he thinks will make up for the pain and terror he’s caused. 

He clicks his tongue, almost wincing. “Lost my family today. Decided that meant I needed a fresh start. Needed to move away from all this— this Peaky Blinders shit and focus on more gentlemanly matters. I felt possessed to get away from it all. From any reminder of it. That included you.” He takes a slow breath, sighing it out. “You reminded me, as you should have, that a better man would never send you away. I would be sending you and your horses to death or worse. It took me far too long to remember that, and for that, I am sorry.” 

You open your eyes, blinking hard, trying to stop tears from rolling out once more. 

“You saved my life. I can’t return the favor, not in the same way, but I can preserve yours. That I will do. I won’t try to send you away again. I understand now how misguided that was.” You feel his gaze on your back and you try to smooth out your breathing, steady yourself so he can’t see that you’re human, that you’re affected by him. 

He’s quiet for a moment, then, voice weak and childish, he manages two words you never truly expected him to say. “I’m sorry.” 

You sniffle and croak out a short, shaky sentence. “Am I worth anything to you?” 

“Yes.” His response comes immediately. “You are.”

“Then why don’t you act like it?” 

“I told you that first night. Something in me has been broken since the war. Maybe since my mum. I don’t have the words for it. You’ve seen it, now. You’ve seen it.” 

You nod shakily. “You were ready to watch me drive off to my death.” 

“I would never have let you leave the driveway.” 

“But you let me think you would.” A tear leaks out and you angrily wipe it away. “You let me think that you cared so little about me that you would watch me go back to a life I couldn’t survive.”

“You know what I think?” He shifts towards you, turning his body so he faces your back.. “I think that you’re the first person to see the fucking rotten part of me and still stay in this house.”

“I have nowhere else to go, Tom.” Your voice breaks. “You realize that. I have nowhere else to go, and you can’t decide whether you want me or not, and I’m worthless unless I sleep with you or marry you.” 

His voice drops to a mere murmur. “I want you.” 

“You didn’t an hour ago.” 

“I told you I was sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t enough!” You sit up, fully crying now, and face him. “You fucked up, and I don’t know where there is to go from here.” 

“I do. I know where to go.” He reaches back into his pocket and pulls out the ring box. “I—”

“Stop! Stop with the fucking ring! I don’t want to belong to you, I don’t want—”

“Listen. You can say no. Just fucking listen.” His hand shakes slightly as he holds it in his lap. “I’m not a good man. I try to be, but I’m not. But you— you make me think I can be if I try. That’s a rare fucking thing. You will never belong to me. You will never belong to anyone. It’s a shot in the fucking dark, and things like this come and go as they please, but if I can, if I could, I’d like to be that shot in the dark. If it’s up to me, it’ll be us in the end. I’m not a good man, but I promise, I will be good to you and for you. Love is far, far away, but it gets closer when I’m with you. So, I’m asking you, because I need you with me, to look past the way I hurt you and see that I do care for you. I do think you’re worth something.” He reaches out and gently wipes a tear from your cheek, hand trembling. “I’m asking for a selfish thing. I’m asking for you to see the blood on my hands and love me anyway. I’m asking you to marry me.” 

He is broken promises and shaking fists, and you know, he did not mean to be cruel, but that doesn’t mean he was kind to you. So, you take a breath, trying to stay steady, and you open your mouth to reply.

#only the wild ones #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #peaker blinders fandom #peaky blinder imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby fanfic #peaky fucking blinders #peaky blinders fanfic

[lunar-wandering]

things about the Boboiboy series that drive me NUTS (this list is written solely from memory)

the fact that the first three elements, Wind, Earth, and Lightning, didn't really start out as having different personality's from Boboiboy himself (at least, not by much/it wasn't extremely noticable) but then, Lightning, after being split for too long, losing his memories completely, and achieving tier 2, becoming Thunderstorm, suddenly goes all Edgy(TM). and then Wind eats a mood-changing potion and goes manic, and not only does that unlock his tier 2, making him Cyclone but that becomes his personality. like. hello??? the implications.... and then later on, Fire, Water, Leaf, and Light manifest WITH their personalities pre-set. what??? the vague implication that the elements are sentient and the personalities started becoming more obvious when Boboiboy's mind started slipping/letting them have freer reign haunts me every day.

speaking of Fire's manifestation. he initially manifested from the stress of exams and walked around accidentally burning shit down in the middle of the night. what a mood tbh.

if the elements are sentient, the implications of Retak'ka stealing them from Boboiboy and using them- without having his personality change, is INSANE. like bro. he used them as a weapon instead of letting them be actual people..... and then later on in the comics Thunderstorm gets taken away AGAIN and is trapped in a sword, a literal weapon, and is used. again. HELLO????

both of the first times Thunderstorm gets summoned (both the obvious first time and the first time after they all got reset to tier 1 due to Complications) involving his phobia kills me every time why the FUCK did they do that. they didn't even address it the second time around but they animated Lightning looking like he was in distress anyways. WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO HIM. i know he's the fave but like. was this necessary.

BOBOIBOY JUST DECIDING "Y'KNOW WHAT??? I'M GONNA INVENT FUSIONS NOW HERE WE GO" IN THE SECOND MOVIE AND PROCEEDING TO ABSOLUTELY WIPE THE FLOOR WITH RETAK'KA

i could list so much Thunderstorm stuff tbh he's definitely the fave they give him so many cool bits of animation. he does the "teleports behind you" move SO OFTEN and it's SO GOOD

Leaf's deadpan "Fashion Tragedy" line

that one time Boboiboy split into Fire, Wind, and Leaf, and EVERYONE agreed he shouldn't have done that and should never do it again cause those three have negative braincells when in a group together

the songs??? like. the opening songs. the insert songs used in the movies. the OST. why the hell are they so good. i mean i know i personally like em cause they tend to use rock. but like. its SO GOOD.

Yaya and Ying being arguably the two most powerful/capable members of the friend group as they should

that one time Thunderstorm and Fang fought and they paused right before hitting each other and the objects behind both of them exploded from the force of the other's attack

in the first movie when it hinted that we'd see Boboiboy without his hat for the first time ever throughout the entire movie and then it FINALLY HAPPENED when he caught a giant hammer right before it could hit him and punched the dude away with a blast of energy. he has a white streak in his hair and it's visible in the series from this point onwards.

I KNOW IVE SAID A LOT OF THUNDERSTORM SCENES BUT THAT POINT IN GALAXY WHERE HE WAS USING TIER 2 BEFORE HE SHOULD'VE BEEN USING IT AND HE KEPT SWAPPING IN BETWEEN BOBOIBOY AND THUNDERSTORM THROUGHOUT THE FIGHT??? THAT WAS COOL AS FUCK I LOVED THAT

i could list so many of the really cool shots from this series tbh. that one time Light slow-mo backflipped over a bunch of debris and then activated laser eyes to shoot at the villain is a highlight.

literally everything about the fact the plot of this show went from "aliens come to earth to steal chocolate" to "boboiboy nearly fucking dies on an almost daily basis"

#Boboiboy

[maybeinanotherworld]

I've decided to provide the tumblr sphere with more Physics Major (TM) content for no reason other than I don't want to do my mathematical physics assignment so here are my thoughts as a Third Year (TM) in this program:

1) everything is linear algebra

2) no really, everything is linear algebra

3) amusement parks are a great source for problems in lagrangian mechanics

4) lasers are cool

5) everything is also a taylor series

6) A rectangular block falling over is surprisingly complicated

7) everything is a differential equation

8) differential equations are linear algebra

9) there is not a single physics person that is okay

10) astronomy killed math and is currently dancing on its corpse

11) astronomy is linear algebra

#physics #people seem to like my physics major content #and i love making it my personality #i am the target audience of this post #astrophysics #technically my major is astrophys but like #there's a lot of overlap #physics major #university #lasers are super cool though #I'm working in a laser lab this term #and I'm having the time of my life #math #linear algebra

[ambrosiagourmet]

I notice no one has asked yet so for the character thing: laios! Or if you want to go for a less common one: the winged lion

Laios!!!!!!

First impression

Honestly its hard to even limit this within the confines of starting the actual manga. I genuinely think I'd have to say my real first impression of Laios was the "autism be damned, my boy can work a grill" joke that gets passed around a lot 😭

Impression now

Older brother.

Loves his friends and family so much. Let him infodump!!!!! A guy that can character arc so hard he becomes a king because its the only way to deal with the things he can no longer let himself look away from. A guy who wants to eat a good meal. A guy who wants everyone to eat a good meal.

A guy who can be all that and still kind of pettily complain that he doesn't get to hang out with monsters anymore & can mope about it soooo annoyingly. A guy who decided to eat the concept of all-consuming hunger because it was the only way to deal with the problem so he might as well try. A guy who can completely change his life by deciding to share his special interest. A guy who can imitate a dog really well.

Favorite moment

Don't make me choooose... okay I'm gonna do three:

1. Assembling Falin's bones with Marcille

The humor. The patience. The slow realization that, despite how absurd of a task it is, it is actually all possible. The moments of admiration for the way skeletons work, the love of the details, the care of assembling all three skeletons just to make sure they get Falin right. Iconic scene.

2. Killing Falin

"Unable to make myself accept. Unable to make myself resist" lives in my soul now idk what else to say. Life is so vibrant and horrifying and raw and beautiful and to let yourself fully be a part of it you must take up space. You must consume. You must fight. You must take and be taken from. Ourgh

3. Talking Marcille down

I love that he looks so goofy on his way up to her. I love the context of how much he refuses to give up on her leading up to this, and how he refuses to give up on her now. I love how everyone is part of this scene, but he's the first one to cross the threshold. I love how she almost blows him up but can't do it (fun fact: this exact situation/post was how she killed Mithrun a couple of chapters ago. It was close).

I love the way he appeals to her mostly just with messy honesty, and I love the silly three rules callback. It's such a sweet chapter.

Also honorary mention for the final page of the story, which gets me every time.

Idea for a story

I'm actually currently fiddling with a longer story concept dealing with the question of Laios needing an heir. Dungeon Meshi is grounded enough in politics that it genuinely feels like a question that the characters will have to grapple with at some point. At the same time, there's no way that like arranged marriage and even having kids in general are not messy topics for Laios and I don't think anyone involved would want to force him to be miserable.

(I also don't personally like the idea of Falin as his heir ftr, bc I think forcing Falin into that role sucks and I don't think anyone would go for it)

So how DO they deal with the issue? Idk! I might write a long meandering story about it! Maybe! I want to, at least.

Unpopular opinion

Ughhhh I don't realllly want to poke this with a stick but yeah I definitely think my most generic (apparently????) Unpopular Opinion with Laios is just that his relationship with Marcille is meaningful and loving. I personally don't view it as romantic and they mean a lot to me as a platonic-life-partners kind of thing, but I also think that dividing relationships in general into Ships TM and Definitely Not Ships isn't really appealing to me personally. I just care them.

(at the same time I really do worry about trying to write about them and it being taken as romantic despite me very intentionally not framing it as such. idk, navigating this stuff is complicated.)

Favorite relationship

UGHHHH LIKE. It is probably him and Marcille. But it's so hard to rank that against him and Falin. Both relationships mean a lot to me and I love them and I love to think about them.

Because him and Marcille have more on the page interactions to dig into and because I don't see them discussed as much, I do tend to gravitate to Marcille & Laios stuff above all else. But like.... don't make me actually commit to picking.

Favorite headcanon

I can't think of a strong answer for this so I'm going to make one up on the spot: I think he giggled to himself soooo much when he included the winged lion in his king outfit but made it so that it looks like the wolf head is eating it. I think he continues to giggle about it years later. I think he gets dressed in the morning and puts on his cloak and goes "get ate, idiot" as he fastens it around his shoulders.

Oh actually for a more genuine headcanon related to the story thing I mentioned above: I think Laios is really good with kids but would be scared of having any of his own. I think he'd have trouble with the classic "I don't want to mess them up the way my dad messed me up" abused kid struggle.

#ask #ask meme #even though I thought of a more notable headcanon im leaving the winged lion one in there bc I like it

[lenaellsi]

Why does aziraphale tells crowley he forgives him??? I literally just finished it and its driving me insane

hello anon! hope you're doing okay after that ending!

that's a hell of a question. there are a few different answers, and i think a lot was going on in aziraphale's head at that particular moment, but this is what I took from it:

-this is a dance aziraphale and crowley have been doing for a long time.

there's some sort of moral conflict. aziraphale repeats heaven's party line. crowley asks a bunch of uncomfortable questions. aziraphale doubles down. crowley calls him an idiot. aziraphale forgives him. crowley storms away. pretty much half of their relationship is built on these kinds of destructive patterns at this point--of course they'd fall back into it during the worst fight they've ever had.

-aziraphale is angry.

he's heartbroken, and he doesn't understand why crowley has decided to abandon him in what should be (from his perspective) the happiest moment of their lives since the fall. he's lashing out, and intentionally hurting crowley in the same way he's been hurt. he's not stupid, no matter how much miscommunication is happening in this scene--telling someone "i forgive you" after they've kissed you is going to hurt, and he knows that.

this reading comes mostly from michael's performance. several people have noted that in the moments immediately after the kiss, aziraphale says "I l--" and then cuts himself off. then he goes on a Michael Sheen Face Journey TM and ends up angry, and that's when we get "I forgive you." whatever else is going on with aziraphale in this moment, he's pissed.

-forgiveness is what aziraphale does.

in aziraphale's very first (modern day) scene of the season, we learn that forgiveness is "one of his favorite things." he forgives maggie's rent, and he forgives gabriel enough to shelter him from heaven and hell while he's vulnerable. it's an instinct for aziraphale, for better or worse, whether it's because it's something he thinks he SHOULD do or something intrinsic to him as a person who desperately wants to do good. occasionally, it's even something he does for his own gain. (see: forgiving maggie was a kind action, but he himself admits that part of his motivation was that she always knows how to find his music.) it makes sense that he would fall back on forgiveness as a framework for understanding a mess of complicated and painful emotions. it makes him feel better, forgiving people, and he needs the comfort of that here.

-he means it.

he forgives crowley for saying no. he forgives crowley for breaking his heart. he forgives crowley for always asking 'damn fool' questions. he forgives crowley for kissing him at the worst possible time. he forgives crowley for falling. he forgives crowley for making him doubt. he forgives crowley for being kind, and clever, and ridiculous, and special, and someone he couldn't help but fall in love with, no matter how much it hurts them both.

and unfortunately, forgiveness is the one thing that will always make crowley walk away.

#gos2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #for what it's worth? crowley also meant to hurt aziraphale. that kiss was 40% hail mary temptation 10% a gesture of love and 50% 'fuck you' #and i love it like YES kiss him to hurt him YES tell him the worst thing he could possibly hear and then in 3 years save the world together #with the weight of everything said and unsaid between you!!! drama!!! i hate it here!!! (but i love it) #i hope any of this made sense. i have a lot of feelings about this moment and very few coherent thoughts #and i'll be the first to admit that i find it much easier to get into crowley's head than aziraphale's. i do love him though #asks