#*❈ and i can go anywhere i want just not home — ( wishlist. ) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cloudy-cranium · 5 months

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What kind of wish list do you have? That'd be a great idea for me but I'm not sure how to organise one.

Oh I have several systems I use to make this time of the year less of a nightmare, I'd love to share! Unfortunately I do not have a "succinct" setting so here, sorry :) here's the short version, too much under the cut.

TL;DR: Steps to an easy gift list:

1, REUSE your lists each year.

1b, LONG LISTS! Yeah no. Longer than that.

2, Categories can help

2b, Steal gift ideas from others!!

3, for REAL change your options up

4, Be specific about what you actually want

Wishlists were a pain for me for a long time. Eventually I got lazy and then I got smart. I also listened to complaints people had about others' wishlists, and tried to avoid their issues. I've used like one list for I think the last 4 years now, just refreshed. I have it in categories mostly to help me.

Tip 1: Refresh it every year. Instead of starting from scratch every season, when people start asking for my new list I just pull up last year's and delete everything I received/bought myself/just don't really need anymore.

Tip 1b: Make your list long!! Too long to be able to get everything. That lets you refresh next year, but it also gives people more options to choose from (vital) and reduces their anxiety about getting you the same thing as someone else.

Tip 2: This is optional but I use categories. They help me get more specific ideas, organize my thoughts, can help people narrow ideas down or help with off-list gift inspiration, and can also help people add to their own lists.

**Categories: these are arbitrary and all include miscellaneous items automatically. It's just a tool. Mine are Dog Things, Hobby, Home/Personal, and Kitchen - the dog things are on their own because they don't fit anywhere else; 'Kitchen' has its own category because it's one of my biggest categories personally. Other than that, personalize it: Art Supplies. Programming. Sports & Outdoors. Tools. Books. Games. Whatever's good for you**

Tip 2b: ask all your family/friends to give you their list and then steal their ideas :) works like a charm. I'll add some of mine at the end.

Tip 3: VARIETY. IT'S IMPORTANT. Some people want to be able to drop a lot of money on something you'll definitely like - maybe all your siblings want to buy you that gaming system together. Include it (at least for inspiration). Ask for that weighted blanket you really want. Don't feel bad for including expensive options. Some people want less expensive things - you want a LOT of these, especially easy ones: candy or treats, bath bombs/nails/face masks, candles/wax melts/incense you like, stickers, fun note pads, socks etc. (When gifting, these are helpful to add with a smaller item so it brings a little extra bonus.)

Some people want to buy you something useful. Some people want to buy you something FUN! Some people want to help you by buying something you need anyway; some want to gift you something you can't justify buying yourself but still really want. Include all of these! Give people options!!

TELL PEOPLE WHERE TO GET GIFT CARDS YOU'LL ACTUALLY USE!!! These are such a helpful inclusion!!! Some people are just gift card people. If you don't want generic amaz*n/walmart/fast food gift cards, TELL PEOPLE what stores & restaurants you already go to, especially for things you enjoy. If they can give you 5 nice boba teas one one card, or gift you clothes by putting $50 on a piece of plastic for you instead of actually trying to pick out something you want themselves, they'll do it!

Tip 4: Specificity. Some things speak for themselves, but if you write one word per item on your list, expect to get some things that are technically what you wrote but definitely not what you wanted. To avoid this, list scents/colors/brands/qualities you like ('over-the-ear squishy headphones [noise-canceling?]' is better than 'headphones,' where once I got gifted a new pair of the exact set I hated and was trying to replace); the specific use of the item you need ('spice/food organizers,' 'room organizers,' 'closet organizers,' and several other things can't be substituted for each other); A LINK to an option you like (!!! I learned this from my sister-in-law, where every list item has "like this:" and a link to a model that she already likes. The links will also sho similar items, stores she trusts, more details than you could ever write down & more); okay I got tired of writing. You get the gist. BUT If you include CLOTHES YOU MUST INCLUDE SIZES. NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS. SIZES. Styles too if you don't wanna get fucked over (or!! gift cards!!!!)

Those are the things that do the most for making my life easier. I'll drop a list of examples to steal! Sorry this got away from me lol thanks for coming to my TEDtalk!!

Examples of things in my categories: Dog Stuff (toys she likes, sweater size, things like a better leash or big toy or bed); Hobby (DICE. game accessories. yarn & fibre tools. hair dye things, hard-to-find niche parts, nice markers/paper, art tools, materials, fan merch, new hobbies you want to try, instruction books, instruments, cards, GIFT CARDS to places I already go); Home/Personal (speakers/headphones/other tech, books [please god be specific here], albums, decor/organization, a new vacuum, tools you find yourself needing, stuff for your window/deck/garden, along with clothes I might want and relevant sizes, yoga mat, coats/hats/clothes for the weather, memberships or subscriptions); Kitchen (replacement dishes, nice appliances, accessories, high-quality ingredients, more tools I'd like but can't afford)

#hi i love talking. if u send me asks i will Answer whether I'm qualified or not #love to rant and hear my ideas #thank uuu for asks #answered asks #yes it took me a whole day to organize my thoughts #hope this is helpful to someone. it's just what ive learned im sure ill tweak the system over time #like if u want lol #okay to rb

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stopgapped · 5 months

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hello! welcome to stopgapped, my new roleplay blog. home to muses, wishlists, & advertisements. penned by bowie ( 21, they / them ) & currently searching. guidelines below the cut.

first and foremost, welcome to the blog! i'm here to search for some roleplay partners! i have all of my information and guidelines below, so if you're interested in any advertisement or post i've made, please read these before reaching out. thank you!

001. i am a literate / novella roleplayer and can write anywhere from 700 to 2,000 words. i tend to write a lot. i would prefer having a partner who can somewhat match length, being able to write at least 500+ words. i'm not policing this by any means, but i love getting inside of characters' heads and feel i can do that so much better through longer replies!

002. i will only roleplay with people 18 years or older. minors dni under any circumstances.

003. i don't have any triggers and i'm a bit of an angst whore. i love anything dark, gritty, and whumpy - let's put our characters through the wringer and see how they fare with a touch of hurt/comfort <3 of course, this doesn't mean i don't want fluffy and/or fun moments, i just really prefer exploring the darker side of the human experience and would love a partner who is also interested in that. with that being said, character-driven roleplays are my bread and butter!

004. i write in third person only and have a preference for past tense, but i'm not going to turn you away if you prefer writing in the present tense. i usually mirror the length and formatting of my partner's replies as well!

005. i dabble in all kinds of pairings, but my main one will always be mxm. almost all of my characters are queer and it's something i adore exploring!

006. ooc chatter is as important to me as the roleplay itself, if not more important! i want to become friends with my partner and be able to gush about our characters, create pinterest boards and aesthetics and playlists, all of that jazz. i want to hear all about your characters, paragraphs of details are always appreciated. i really would love a partner who shares equal enthusiasm about what we write and create.

007. i'm completely open to writing with ocs or canon characters ( if not otherwise stated in my ads ), and if i'm not sure who your canon character is, feel free to explain them and their lore to me! i see it the same as anyone describing their oc, and i most often dabble in writing canons anyway.

008. i'm a pretty busy person and sometimes i can run into the occasional creative slump, but i'll still be active ooc even if it takes me a bit to respond to our roleplay. if you're someone who needs rapid fire responses, i'm probably not the person for you. on my side, i'm always patient and can wait however long for a response! days, months, years. whatever. take your time, this is a fun hobby and i don't see the point in rushing art!

009. i'm cool with smut, but it's not a must and we can always fade to black if you're uncomfortable with that kind of thing. if you want a smut heavy plot, though, please look elsewhere.

010. triggering and dark themes can and will be present in pretty much all of my roleplays, simply because i enjoy exploring them and seeing how they affect my character(s). specific triggers will be placed in each ad, but note that the most common triggers that'll crop up are child abuse, suicidal thoughts, and depression.

that's about it, thanks so much for reading!

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realhankmccoy · 6 months

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It has come to my attention that the kids don't even know what a skill is. An Amazon Wishlist is not a skill. Putting a bunch of hustling lies on my Jeopardy! app that con their fellow idiot Americans into playing Solitaire all day and out of Money is not a skill.

Swill milk production is not a skill.

Asking me to fly you to America or fly you anywhere is not a skill.

Making a Smurf house of out Play Doh or Whoa-Oh-Oh 'music' or gobbledygook 'writing' in boo boo memaw ga ga babytalk is what I would call 'yearning in the direction of developing a skill' which is a start -- but time is running out, not to be bleak or demanding, and that stuff ultimately falls under participation trophy territory, mmkay? I can't wave a wand over that stuff and declare you superior to Shaw or whatever you'd like. I just can't. I have, you know, an ethics and integrity against dumbing down and the infantilisation of yourselves that you're begging for the validation of.

In many ways its not your fault, as the Boomers started a cult of youth and really wanted ya babied.

This is a skill:

I'm sorry, kids, if you don't want to hear it, and yes I have been there. It's now the entrance to a Target in Chicago, and there are lines in that Target, just like there are in New York City when you go to such stores. I'm not a fan of lines. It does seem absurd and tragicomic that such a beautiful entrance now leads to Target, yes.

That's all there is. I'm sorry. It's not exciting, I know. Why would you want to knock yourself out to build that when you could be playing with that Play Doh and channel-surfin' all day?

Nobody said being an adult was supposed to be fun. In fact, your parents probably made it clear just how unfun it is, too much, so that Peter Pan Syndrome took home.

Still, there is an adult world out there -- however nebulous, frightening and removed it might be from your unformed minds, which surely are incapable of grasping it and quick to deem it an antique.

Well, nobody's asking you to become an antique factory. Louis Sullivan was cutting edge new at the time.

Without an adult world, we're just rolling in the Play Doh.

Take the Millennial whoop, for example:

youtube

A dorky gay guy, rejected by his conservative family, one who died of AIDS at 37 -- even he did way way way way better than you when he alternated the notes.

What's that say about you that Jimmy McShane made far better art than the whole lot of you are able to whoop up together in your rat race bid for more money, more power?

I'm sorry, I don't write the rules -- I'm just the messenger. I just know art when I see it compared to schlock or amateur power hour.

If you're thinking like Trump, your art will come out sterile.

Jimmy McShane was an EMT before he made music. He got the fuck out of Ireland and went to Italy. My point is that if you're gonna sit around on your bum and preach freedom, you'd better stop castrating yourselves and have the balls to go experience it. I know what freedom looks like, and it sure doesn't look like whatever's going on in America. If you watch those movies on Ruby Ridge, whether the documentary or the re-enactment, you can see quite clearly how the American constructs its own prison in its misguided obsession with strength and freedom. What's an idiot American know? Not much, since they can't even come up with a tune like this... and this was done in 1985.

You're expected to do better than the past, not just be a humdrumb white nuclear photocopy hustling people out of money with fake music, fake writing and fake art. Perhaps since that's all people are anymore, there's an honesty to it, sure, but it's still not as quality as Baltimore is according to my aesthetic standards.

youtube

#baltimora #louis sullivan #tarzan boy #millennial #millennials #Youtube

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harvestingwholeness · 1 year

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5/7/2023 - 8 days until I own my house on 4 acres! I couldn’t be more excited and nervous. I’ve created so many Pinterest boards, Amazon wishlists, and Home Depot shopping lists. I know what I want and I can’t wait to jump in. With so many projects to work on, my ADHD brain is going to have a blast.

Most of my efforts this year will be transforming the interior of the home. Though I also plan to bring ducks into the mix this summer!

I considered getting chickens but to be honest, I’ve got a lot of chicken trauma. I cared for my family chickens from age 6 when we brought home our first chicks. At the most we had over 30 chickens and they were my full responsibility. Every rooster we owned was so mean. Like, jump on my shoulders mean. I know with care you can foster a kind flock, I just know I’d go in scared. Ducks though, no claws, rounded beaks, cute quacks, waddling. I’ll go in with love and I think that’s what matters most. Plus, my favorite farm in Belize serves duck eggs so I will get to pretend I’m sitting in the outdoor lounge eating my breakfast sipping coffee and reminiscing my great Belizean adventures. Or, that’s what I hope for anyway, I will see what happens when reality strikes.

I used to travel every week for work, Monday through Thursday. I had the added benefit that instead of flying home on weekends, I could go anywhere as long as the flights were cheaper than going home. I live on the west coast and for a year and a half I was flying to Boston. So many places around the world were cheaper than going home. I traveled to Belize over 20 times and it’s my greatest love. I spent a little bit of time in Europe, but Central America is really where my heart feels at home. If climate change doesn’t destroy the region, I would love to retire in Belize. Gotta have dreams, right?

While I feel my frequent international trips are no longer my greatest priority, I still have high hopes of traveling to Africa in my future. Egypt, Rwanda, Kenya ahhh I want to go so badly. The only reason I didn’t go while I was traveling for work, is that it would take the whole weekend just to get there haha the furthest I traveled was Australia, but I took two weeks off to enjoy that time. That was my craziest adventure yet, someday I share about my stranded with no water camping alone on an island experience while going through antidepressant withdrawals because I lost my luggage. Good times.

This morning I was thinking a lot about who I was before my childhood trauma hit me hard. When I was about 7 years old, I suppressed my memories of abuse and they began returning about 6 years ago. Last year one of my cousins was on trial for what he did to two younger girls. He hurt me as well, but until the week of the trial my memories were too foggy to report. However during the trial I panicked thinking if I was asked on the stand if I was a victim of this cousin, I wanted to have a clear and confident answer. That’s when my childhood memories returned full swing. I know I still have a lot more suppressed, but I now remember so much more. It was about two weeks where my memories we’re constantly returning, like I was watching a movie of my life. It sent me into a dark spiral and I ended up in a partial hospitalization program to recover. Anyway, I was such a confident person before the memories came back and before the abuse got to be too much. I was a bold adventurer, defiant, so much more social, and even though I was riddled with blights of deep depression, I felt solid. All of the abuse I endured as a child warped me into who I am today. I don’t know if I’m proud or depressed about that, depends on the day.

I have so much more to write but I think I will end for the day.

- Hannah

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servin-up-surveys · 1 year

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survey #127

What’s the best part about flying? The view.

Who did you last have a deep and meaningful conversation with? It wasn't like, MEGA deep, but Girt. He was confiding in me about something last night.

Any vacations planned? No, we basically never go on vacations. Doesn't mean I don't want to, traveling just isn't cheap, at all.

Which friend have you known the longest? That is still in my life in a way more than like, acquaintances by now, Summer.

Do you have a Facebook? I do.

What do you want for Christmas? That's quite a ways off, but at this moment I think my primary wishlist item will be a new phone. I'm just so done with the one I have.

How many people have you liked this year? I've only loved Girt, romantically.

Do you have any celebrity crushes? old German men apparently lmfao, still also love Markiplier as an individual tho, but that actual hyperfixation has passed.

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single? If they're both single and want to, sure, why not. What I DON'T like though is leading people on, like making them chase a relationship with you while you refuse to commit. Then of course there are platonic kisses, which I think is generally fine, but it does depend on various things.

Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Yes, two that I can think of. Neither is dangerous information or anything like that at all, they're just private things I don't share with anybody.

How many email accounts do you have? Two that I use.

Who is the best cook in your family? I wanna say my younger sis Nicole, honestly.

Which baby animal is your favorite? OBVIOUSLY meerkats. Very honorable mention to kittens though, I think they're also super fuckin cute.

Twitter or Tumblr? 100% Tumblr, I don't even use Twitter.

Favorite YouTuber? EVEN though I don't really watch him anymore (besides life update stuff), it's still Markiplier overall. Incredible and endlessly inspiring human being. I'm most into WATCHING either Game Grumps or John Wolfe these days, though.

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I would NEVER fucking tolerate that.

Was your first kiss romantic? I think it was. It was super fucking cute more than anything.

Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Girt. Oh, and Herb (grandmother's husband, not my mom's dad, and they were married for a super short period), the same night. I'm really glad Girt was here because it made me really uncomfortable that this random old man I don't consider family at all/barely know was sleeping directly across the hall from me... aaaaand it's happening again tonight, Herb literally popped up unannounced very shortly before I started this survey to stay here again for the night as a pitstop on his way back home. Mom had no idea this was the day he'd be here and isn't thrilled lmao, girl same.

What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? I'll go with just Jason here, as he's the only other guy I've seriously dated, and Sara is demi anyway so doesn't really fit this question. I'd be VERY surprised to learn this, but I mean, I'm sure he'd say the same about me being openly pan now. People are full of surprises.

How many people has your best friend had sex with? One.

When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? We "dated" LITERALLY less than 24 hours, but I guess in technicality Juan. Which I'm not stoked about. He randomly reached out to me close to a week ago (suspiciously under a COMPLETELY new FB name????) after years of not talking, and I have no idea what he even wants yet, since there's been so few replies between us so far. I have QUITE the list of reasons to not trust him, but I'm trying really hard to just be a nice person and give him the benefit of the doubt that he's grown as a person, but I'm remaining distant no matter what. If he wants to be in contact on there, fine, but it's not going ANYWHERE beyond that.

Are you currently “appearing offline” to anybody? No, I never do that honestly. I mean one, people can be busy and still attached to the Internet, so I just don't feel the need to try covering up me being online. That and the only people I really ever talk to KNOW I'm always on the computer or messing on my phone anyway lmao, I ain't foolin nobody.

Do your siblings text you? No, honestly, unless they need something (like if they can't reach Mom) or they're telling me happy birthday. I will say Ashley checks on me more than Nicole (which is very, VERY literally never), though.

Did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual? lmao yes

Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don't know or care. 2015 Brittany would have NEVER believed she'd be saying that (and especially confidently meaning it) one day.

Who did you last pinky promise with? Girt, I'm sure. He's the only person I really do it with these days, because he knows I like them.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? I grew up sharing a room with Nicole once she was born two years after me, yeah. Didn't get my own until I was already a teenager, when Ashley moved out for college.

What happened at the last party you went to? It was a three-year-old's bday party, so lots of kids yelling and stuff, haha.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? He's always had a charming smile, but beyond that, no. Especially as an adult now that realizes how fucked up it was that he even wanted a relationship with me when I was 15, I'm completely unattracted to him as an individual.

In your life, who is the person that seems to understand you the most? My mama.

Are you afraid of losing the person you like right now? I'd be absolutely devastated, but it's not something I actively think and worry about, but I accept it's always possible, and I'll survive if it unfortunately does. I will NEVER relive the Jason breakup situation, fucking ever.

Does anyone know your Facebook password? No. Well, Mom might have an old one logged somewhere; once upon a time she kept track of us kids' online accounts.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah, not for myself personally.

What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? I've learned through Nicole's career as a children's social worker that I CANNOT handle hearing about certain degrees of abuse towards children, especially when it includes sexual abuse. Like nobody WANTS to hear about that, ever, but she encounters the most batshit insane bullshit you could possibly even imagine, and she's learned that if she's telling Mom about various things that've happened at work, I generally can't be present because I get so fucking upset. It just blows my goddamn mind, the kind of beasts who can pop babies out left and right to ruin, and then there are couples who desperately want children to spoil the shit out of (we know a very specific couple that is this exact description), but can't manage to. It's literally evil.

What was the last thing you cleaned? Besides my own body, my keyboard, I think.

What’s something you have been putting off? I've been putting off finishing and putting stuff up on my Etsy for MAAAAANY months now. I want to do it, but I don't have my own bank account or cards of any sort, so I'm going to have to use my mom's, and idk, I just feel so weird talking to her about it so I just keep... not doing it.

What restaurants do you frequently eat at? Uh I'd say we get like, takeout most often from places like McDonald's or Sonic. We've both been more into Taco Bell than usual lately too, because we've started going to a new location that's super close to us and basically EVERYTHING they make is so much better than other locations we've been to.

Do you like banana pudding with a lot of bananas or more vanilla wafers? I actually really dislike banana pudding, and just banana-flavored things in general (usually).

How many books would you guess you’ve read in the last 5 years? Oh I have no idea, but a depressingly low number, I'm certain.

What was the last message you sent? Haha I was telling Girt about Herb just... Manifesting here

Is it currently warm where you are? UGH yes, at the moment I'm answering this question, it's 81*F out. This is the first day at PT where I really struggled with overheating (Mom's car doesn't have AC so I ALREADY came too warm), like the therapist for the day was really concerned. I just had to sit and drink water more than usual, and we eventually got a wet rag to help me cool off, because I just wasn't otherwise.

Have you ever fallen out of bed? Not that I remember, no.

What do you like on your hot dogs or burgers? I'm suuuuper basic with hot dogs, I generally just want ketchup and mustard. SOMETIMES a little bit of very finely diced onions is fine; they can get overwhelming fast. I'm more open to variety with burgers, but I generally go for ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions (once again, not too many at all), and occasionally bacon. I'm also fine with some amount of mayo on there, but not an overwhelming amount, and I never ask for it as an addition; I only have it if it comes with what I'm ordering.

Are you currently listening to anything? I've???????????? been bingeing that old "If I Had You" Adam Lambert song?????????????? like all day????????????????? fr there are just instances where my music interest for the day just throws me a total curveball, haha. I've been listening to more pop than I used to, for sure.

What’s something you like that is blue? The ocean, especially the really clear and aquamarine-looking ones!!

Have you ever traveled alone? Well I mean, I navigated airports/flew alone going to and coming back from Sara's.

Would you say you are toxic in any way? Let's be pure fuckin honest here: everybody, EVERYBODY, has been and is capable of being toxic in various situations. I myself handled the Jason breakup in an INCREDIBLY toxic manner, and I'm sure that's exactly why he blocked me online. Realistically, there's got to be more cases where I was toxic, that's just the big one that instantaneously comes to mind. We are all imperfect humans, and so we behave imperfectly regularly, and sometimes that includes behaving with toxicity, even when we entirely don't mean it. Now, do I think I as a whole am a generally toxic person, no, I don't at all. I at least try very hard to be the opposite.

What’s one of your favorite memories from the past year? Feeling my legs improve because of physical therapy. PT has been a fucking blessing, and I've still got more sessions to go.

What are some books you’d recommend to someone? My immediate go-to is probably ALWAYS going to be Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo, an anti-war novel that really gained popularity (this is also how I discovered it) when Metallica wrote a song, "One," based off of it; the music video is even full of clips from the movie that followed the book. Both are great, but the book is an especially soul-crushing experience that leaves you haunted as shit, like it is ART.

Are you a gold digger? Absolutely not.

Describe the last dream you had: Actually I won't, it was one of THE WEIRDEST dreams I've ever had and NOBODY needs to know the details lmfao, I wish I didn't.

Have you ever been screwed over relationship-wise? Explain: Prefacing: Jason wanting to leave me was fine. I was affecting his mental health. HOWEVER, refusing to communicate how you were struggling with dealing with my depression and breaking up with me after 3 1/2 years over Facebook Messenger and then wanting absolutely, positively nothing to do with me wasn't. It was such a sudden, abrupt split that he performed in an incredibly cowardly manner and showed NO interest in trying to ease the blow to me, someone he supposedly wanted to marry and have a family with. Interesting to note I didn't even BEGIN to heal from the trauma until we met around a year and a half later to actually talk and allow me to find any degree of closure, and I know even that alone wouldn't have done it if I wasn't going to 7-hour therapy sessions for over a month every single weekday at the same time.

Have you ever danced in the moonlight? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO THE ODDS OF THIS QUESTION COMING AFTER THAT^, we don't talk about this anymore<33333

Have you ever been with someone but wanted to be with someone else? That was the other part of the reason I left Girt the first time we tried dating, because I thought I liked Sara. The irony of that today, lmao.

What did you do last night? Girt and I finished the second season of Dark and then we were in bed until he needed to go home to get enough sleep to not be a zombie at work today.

Do you have a significant other? If you do, are you kind of crushing on someone else? Yeah, but I'm not even slightly into anyone else. If I was, I wouldn't stay in this relationship because that'd be completely unfair to him.

Have you ever had a threesome? No, I am way too monogamous for that.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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grazziella · 2 years

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tags, general

❈ — she is broken but won’t ask for help / * study.

❈ — and i can go anywhere i want just not home / * wishlist.

❈ — flames can look beautiful too / * dash game.

❈ — cause no one wants a fella with a social disease / * ooc.

❈ — she dug herself out of the dirt for a reason / * headcanon.

❈ — so much hides behind her smile / * aesthetic.

❈ — you swore to me we was gonna dance first / * queue.

❈ — she wants so desperately to be loved to be worthy of it / * edit.

❈ — even when the word falls apart she survives it / * starter call.

❈ — she hides more in herself then she even knows / * psa.

❈ — she opens her mouth but nothing comes out / * in character.

❈ — make sure you kiss your knuckles first / * self promo.

❈ — in some other life we were holding hands / * promo.

❈ — the world holds her hope like a throat / * meme.

❈ — led by dreams and visions / * open.

❈ — red lipstick stains on pearly white teeth / * visage.

#❈ — she is broken but won’t ask for help / * study.#❈ — and i can go anywhere i want just not home / * wishlist.#❈ — flames can look beautiful too / * dash game.#❈ — cause no one wants a fella with a social disease / * ooc.#❈ — she dug herself out of the dirt for a reason / * headcanon.#❈ — so much hides behind her smile / * aesthetic.#❈ — you swore to me we was gonna dance first / * queue.#❈ — she wants so desperately to be loved to be worthy of it / * edit.#❈ — even when the word falls apart she survives it / * starter call.#❈ — she hides more in herself then she even knows / * psa.#❈ — she opens her mouth but nothing comes out / * in character.#❈ — make sure you kiss your knuckles first / * self promo.#❈ — in some other life we were holding hands / * promo.#❈ — the world holds her hope like a throat / * meme.#❈ — led by dreams and visions / * open.#❈ — red lipstick stains on pearly white teeth / * visage.

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pinkhairedlily · 2 years

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Sakura wanted her last Christmas Party in high school to be memorable and best, but nothing seems to go her way today. The Christmas cookies she took a week to perfect the recipe got left on the train; it was her pride, her small token of courage the moment she works up the guts to finally confess to the love of her life – well, yes, the love of her up-to-high-school-life, school heartthrob and salutatorian, Uchiha Sasuke.

But she left it, it was gone, and now her courage was too.

She stood in front of Neji, holding out the store-bought cookies she got in a hurry just a kilometer outside their school. He scrunched his nose ever so slightly, but he knew that she caught it, and that she was well too aware that he didn’t appreciate it.

Mustering up a smile, she moved away to the sides, waiting for her turn to be given a gift. If it ends up being Naruto, she’d be lucky enough if he gave her an unopened ramen pack. If not, it might just be the seasoning left.

She was jolted out of her musings when Ino pushed her off the chair. “Go up there forehead! How many times does Sasuke have to call your name for you to go in front?”

Apart from the usual jeering that came with being in Sasuke alone at the front were the apologetic looks. Sasuke, after all, was notorious in giving the cheapest gifts; he was even heartless enough to give a piece of blank paper.

She waited for her eventual humiliation.

A large box and a quip of Merry Christmas.

When it was time to open it, she gasped out loud.

It was a gift set to prepare her for medical school, something that she did not tell anyone. Her wishlist posted in their class bulletin was only a stationery set so it can be easily found and purchased. It was only Ino who she confided her dreams to in the intimate confines of their sleepovers; and it was only during one sleepy afternoon in Biology class that she told their professor in passing that she wanted to go to medical school.

White shoes, stethoscope, cherry blossom head scrub, robe embroidered with her name, a set of ballpoint pens, a box of vitamins, and a pack of premium coffee. He also included a note hidden within the folds of the box – May these help you upstart your dreams. Good luck.

She caught him in the busy hallways at the end of the day, trailing slowly behind Naruto and his usual group of friends. She almost called out to him when she saw the familiar pink box in his hand.

“What are you doing with that?” Her question made him halt.

He heaved a sigh while turning back, instinctively straying his gaze anywhere but on her. “I promise I had a good excuse somewhere.”

“See that vomit-inducing pink plaid ribbon? That’s from leftover fabric scraps of my skirt. That box is mine, but I left it on the train.”

“I was on the train.”

Sakura stared at him dumbstruck. When she failed to continue with a response, Sasuke pinned his gaze on her – the same gaze anyone would duck out of due to sheer intimidation or pure fluster. Sakura was the latter as she felt the early signs of creeping flushness on her skin.

“It had my name so I just got it.”

“Why are you on the train?” She managed to get out. Sasuke never used public transport, he is always chauffeured to school, and more than that, his home is nowhere near the stations.

“I wanted to be the first…” he starts and then looks away, “to greet you Merry Christmas.”

It took minutes of deafening silence and maybe stretches of onlookers too had not Ino and Naruto shooed them away from an albeit awkward public moment in the middle of a busy hallway.

“Well, don’t you have anything to say?”

Sakura gasped, as if she finally remembered how to breathe, too caught up in the realization that she, a clumsy pink-haired nobody with nothing to brag but her grades, was in the center of his line of sight. And what did he exactly mean with the first to greet her a Merry Christmas? Wasn’t that something else?

Nevertheless, the courage she thought she lost came back in a sudden crash, like adrenaline seeping through every vein.

“I like you, Sasuke.”

He smirked, and she steeled herself for the nonchalant rejection. “That took you long enough.”

She couldn’t quite understand yet, but it was her friends’ cheering that led her out of her reverie. It must be a good thing – a Christmas wishlist she didn’t dream of coming true.

i'm late but here's my christmas gift to all my sasusaku moots! happy holidays - hope you enjoy it with your family, partner, furbabies, or alone. remember to take a break too and always be gentle with yourself. 🥰❤

#sssnippetaday #sasusaku #uchiha sasuke #haruno sakura #sasuke #sakura #merry christmas 2021 #pinkhairedlily

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greeksorceress · 2 years

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Omg I love your Outsiders headcanons! I looked in the tags and I would love for you to tell us more! (if you want to no pressure whatsoever!)

omg hello! thank you so so so much, honey! 💕 this made me smile so much! I wasn't expecting anyone to be interested in my headcanons! I am so happy you liked them! and yes of course, I will share more with you right in this moment <3

I don't know if you had any of the boys in mind or if you just wanted more general headcanons so I will add a few more about all of them!

Darry

He loves coffee, a lot. He also enjoys tea, specially if it's black tea, but coffee is his favorite drink to go. He loves black coffee too, mostly because he prefers bitter tastes to sweet ones, but will pretty much drink anything that is made of coffee. Except most of the Starbucks drinks that Soda enjoys, which are "pure sugar and no coffee" in Darry's words.

He loves Star Wars. His most precious possession is an Obi-Wan Kenobi figure his dad gifted him for his 11th birthday. He still keeps it in a safe place. He has seen every new generation Star Wars movie in theaters right in the night of the premier. He takes Ponyboy with him and they spend their way back home discussing everything about it.

Has a tattoo on his ribcage. It might look like a series of random numbers because there is no separation amongst all the digits, but they're actually the birthdates of all the Curtis family members.

Two-Bit

Has gone to various open mic nights to listen to new future comedians and tends to drag Johnny and Ponyboy with him. The rest of the boys are always supporting him and encouraging him to participate. He hasn't tried yet but he knows he will one day.

Gets very excited when a new animation movie premiers. He loves watching documentaries about the animation's making off and pays a lot of attention to the details. One of his favorite animated movies so far has been Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.

He has the ability to fall asleep anywhere and once he fell asleep in a Target. Darry and Sodapop spent two hours looking for him and almost had a heart attack.

Steve

Uses Twitch a lot. He usually watches other people stream but sometimes, when he's in the mood, he streams his own content. At first, the only views he received came from Soda, Dally and Pony but with time he got a few nice hundreds following him.

He has almost all the types of driving licenses that exist. He can even drive a bus if he wants. He dreams with learning how to fly a plane one day.

Has many tattoos and one of them matches with Soda. It's a Stick-and-Poke tattoo and they got it secretly when they were fifteen. The work wasn't very good and it looks half-chipped, but Steve always looks at the little Cadillac line art on his hip and smiles.

Sodapop

Can dance, like, really dance. He's not very into the whole disco and party scene but he used to watch movies and imitate the dances at home. He was so good and liked it so much that his parent had to sign him up for some urban dance lessons. He used to want to be just like the Step Up characters (and he still wants to, but is too embarrassed to admit it.)

Has a playlist for everything. Driving? He has one. Jogging? He has one. Sleeping? He has one. Cooking? He has one. Showering? He has six. Sneaking inside the school at night with Steve and Dally to cover all the corridors with toilet paper? Well...

Thought that Santa Claus was real for the longest time ever. When he learned about the truth, he made it his personal mission to protect Pony's childhood and give him the chance to believe in Santa for longer, going as far as pretending to be Santa Claus in more than one phone call (Pony never had the heart to tell him that he found out about Santa even before Sodapop did).

Dally

Is terrible with presents. He never knows what to give the other person and gets frustrated too easily while shopping, so he always ends up asking for the Amazon wishlist and buying something random from there.

He tries his best, though, and has many ways of showing how much he cares without actually saying that. For example, whenever someone is sad or upset, he always sends them a little "u good?" and various memes. Sometimes, when he's specially worried about Johnny and his home situation, he calls him and stays on the phone until he makes sure Johnny is safe and sleeping peacefully.

He's an iPhone guy and an Apple lover. He hates himself for this, but he cannot help himself. He doesn't have a good relationship with his parents and they don't care much about what he does, so he loves getting the latest Apple products and charging the costs to his father's credit card.

Johnny

Loves vintage clothes a lot! Half of his wardrobe are pieces he has found in vintage stores that he tends to visit with Dally or Pony.

Another part of his wardrobe consists of clothing articles that the rest of the boys have given to him. He's everyone's favorite and the ultimate little brother of the group, so the rest of the boys always tend to give him clothes that they used to wear when they were smaller, just like real brothers would do. They know Johnny loves the sentiment behind this and it's one of the ways they can show him how important he is. Johnny takes care of every single thing they give him.

He loves photography. He saved up money for a long time and managed to get himself a Canon EOS 400D and takes it everywhere. He loves taking picture of the nature and making portraits of people. The boys are his favorite subject, and even though Pony (and occasionally Two-Bit) is the most willing and participative model, nobody can actually tell him no when he asks to take pictures of them. The group chat picture they have been using for years was one of the first pictures Johnny took of them.

Ponyboy

Write essays for fun and loves participating in writing contests. He has won a few of them and some of his poems and writings have been published in various webpages or amateur literature magazines. No matter how small they are, he always dedicates his works to the boys.

Knows about Soda and Steve's matching tattoos and wants to get one with Johnny too. He's a bit scared of needles, but gets very excited about the idea and spends hours trying to design the perfect tattoo for them.

Soda likes teasing him and calling him e-boy because of the way he dresses, and Pony is not actually mad at the idea. He loves wearing bucket hats and black cargo pants and chains. He's crazy about sneakers and shoes too, from Converse to Nike Air Force 1 to Vans, but his favorite pair of shoes are some black Dr. Martens that he found in a thrift store once with Johnny.

So, here it is! I hope you like these too! <3 I have even more but I didn't want to make it too long or too boring! adsgsdkd I'm always here to talk about headcanons and if you have any in particular that you want to ask about, shoot it! Also, I'm all ears if you want to share yours with me!

Thank you so much for your lovely ask <3333

#asks: mjmacchio1991 #aaaah this made me so happy <3 #the outsiders #my headcanons #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #dallas winston #two bit mathews

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i-live-in-my-bookshelf · 2 years

Text

What imagine/want in a relationship

(a wishlist written by someone who's never been in a relationship so her mind is clear from any kind of impact)

1. When I go home to my soulmate, it's the most natural thing in the world. Like there is no easier thing on this planet, because I don't even have to think about were I'm going, my legs just walk me there.

2. When I look up from what i'm doing, I see him do the same. Our minds working together. We wanted to look at each other at the same time.

3. When he's laying down, holding his phone or a book, I instantly go there, lay on him, listening to his heartbeat. He smiles and say how much he loves when I do this, and I'm glady continuing it throughout our relationship.

4. When one of us has a bad day, or something good happened, the first this is that we call or text each other. Because nothing matters if the other doesn't know.

5. We both are really annoying because we refer to each other in every other sentence.

6. We can't fight because we either start to laugh, or just have something we want to say when the fighting stops for a minute and so we can't continue.

7. We buy each other gifts almost every day because we just going about our day, walking next to shops then we see something in in the window or on the shelf of the groceries store, and we have to buy it. It could be a dress, our favorite cookie, or literally like a guitar lol.

8. We are literally know each other moles. I know he has a tiny one on his neck, and one on his arm, and he can recite all that i have. He sometimes counts them when we are cuddling and also has to find it all!

9. Movie nights are not complete without cuddles. In fact, they are cuddle nights actually, with a movie in the background.

10. I don't feel embarrassed when I am naked. I've forgot my towel when I went to shower, but I'm already naked and he is in the bedroom? Doesn't matter, because he knows my body more than I do.

11. We don't need to talk all the time. We think the same things. We know how the others feelings change by how they shift in the chair or how the other holds it's breath for a moment longer, or how he creases his eyebrows. There's no secrets.

12. We are holding each other all the time. All. The. Time. Hoding hand, holding the waist, touching our sholders, our knees, our shoes. I'm sitting on his lap, he rests his head on mine...constant contact.

13. Intimacy is safe. I don't have to be scared that he will hurt me in any way while we spend our private time together. We don't make each other do anything we don't want. It's safe and calm, and fully satisfying.

14. We also don't have to have sex all the time. It's not the only thing that bonds us. But also it is such a good experience, and it is definitely a way to show how much we love the other. It's sacred and soft, and the nicest feeling.

15. We can cry without feeling like we are over dramatic, or being afraid that we look ridiculous or ugly.

16. We could laugh together for hours. When we are talking we just make each other laugh so much!

17. Also we talk so much, we actually have to force ourselves to go to work, or sleep or anywhere. Don't tell anyone, but sometimes we cancel things so we can talk more!

18. We cannot imagine our life without the other. It's the most cliché thing, but it's true. We can't live without the other.

19. We are doing everything together. If one of us dies, the other goes to. If one hurts, the other hurts too, if one is happy, the other is happy too. If one hates someone... well, poor person has two enemies now. It's a package deal baby!

20. And lastly. We are the couple that no one thinks will broke up. The thought couldn't even cross their mind, because we are so perfect together, that it would be insane to even think about breaking up.

Ogh now i'm crying

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bokutosworld · 3 years

Text

hey, you’re warm | sakusa k.

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x f!reader

wc: 1.8k words, fluff. little bit of angst, reader is heartbroken on christmas that’s sad.

summary: You’ve accepted that you'd be alone for Christmas. It was a surprise to find your best friend standing right outside your doorsteps.

this is part of the winter wonderland collab! you may check out the other stories here!

---

"The busy streets of Shibuya seem to be livelier than usual as families, friends, and couples gather to celebrate the Christmas Eve. And it seems that the night will become even more special as we are expecting a beautiful snowfall. So be sure to bundle up if you're planning to spend the evening with your loved ones outside."

The news coming from the television is the only sound that fills the empty apartment. Who would've thought that you would be wasting away the merriest time of the year all alone and cocooned in your one-bedroom flat? You certainly didn't think that a week ago, when you were looking forward to the exciting festivities you have planned for you and your boyfriend. You certainly didn't see it coming when he abruptly ended things, leaving you heartbroken, confused, and insecure. At least he didn't just disappear out of the blue, you consoled yourself.

But still that thought was enough to make you shake your head in sadness and take a sip from your chocolate drink that has now turned as cold as your heart. Clutching your robe closer to your body, you peered at the street below and looked at the number of people who were happily strolling. You see couples holding hands, families with their matching sweaters and mufflers, even groups of teenagers running about town and spreading the holiday cheer.

A glance at the wall clock tells you that it's only 8:45 PM, still a little early for you to hit the bed. But it wasn't as if you had anything eventful planned for the rest of the night. After you downed the rest of your drink in one go, you walked to the kitchen to wash your mug. You just turned off the lights in the living room when the ringing of the doorbell startled you from your forlorn thoughts.

You didn't think anything about it at first. Maybe it was the Christmas carolers wishing you a happy holidays and asking for some generous donations. You figured they would leave if you didn't pay them attention so you resigned yourself to your bedroom.

But the buzzing did not stop, even if you were already tucked in the comforts of your warm bed. You groaned and pulled yourself up, almost stomping on the way to the door to see who was so incessant on disturbing your peace on Christmas Eve. You didn't expect to see the masked face of your best friend, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

The two of you stood in the doorway for a few minutes, just staring at each other with blank looks on your faces. Kiyoomi shivers from the cold, his breathing ragged. His eyes narrowed at you, "Are you not going to invite me in? It's cold outside."

"Oh, right," you chuckled, moving to the side to make way for him. You closed the door and turned around to see him taking off his shoes and dusting some snowflakes that have fallen on his jacket. You extend a hand to take his scarf and jacket, hanging them on the rack near the door.

"Didn't you have a thing with your teammates tonight?" You asked when you notice the gym bag that he always carries around. As soon as he puts them down, Kiyoomi makes himself comfortable on your couch, stretching his legs and leaning back on the headrest with his eyes closed.

He hums, "Yeah. We had dinner at the izakaya downtown but I didn't want to go with them to the bar." When he sees the judging look on your face, he was quick to say, "Stop. You know how I hate crowds. And it's too cold for me to go anywhere."

"I wasn't saying anything." You toss him the remote to the television, a silent invitation for him to choose what he wants to watch. "Do you want a drink? I have orange juice, milk, and wine."

"I'll take wine, thanks." From the kitchen, you can hear him flipping through the channels, a dissatisfied grunt often leaving him when he sees that a cheesy holiday movie is showing. You go out to the living room, bringing two glasses of wine and a plate of some biscuits, just in time to see that he has opened Netflix. "Should we watch the new true crime documentary?"

You nod, "Yeah, sure. I'm down with whatever." As soon as the familiar ta-dum sound begins, you cozy up next to him on the couch, holding your wine glass and focusing your eyes on the screen. Nights like these weren't uncommon to you and Kiyoomi. For as long as you can remember, the two of you have been by each other sides all throughout high school and college. He's always been your constant support system, and you were the same to him.

So it wasn't that much of surprise to you when he nonchalantly throws an arm over your shoulders, bringing you closer to his body. You hum contentedly, leaning in to his warmth and you take in that familiar soft scent of vanilla and sandalwood. It's comforting and soon, you find yourself close to drifting off to sleep, your head falling to his chest and being lulled by the erratic beating of Kiyoomi's heart.

But the nap doesn't happen when Kiyoomi, out of nowhere, murmurs, "I'm disappointed with this setup. It's so lonely in here, there's not even a single mistletoe, ornament or stocking hung up." His statement completely pulls you out of your drowsy state and you muster all your energy to glare at him.

"I don't really feel like celebrating." Your voice weakens as you say the second part, "Besides, I'm all alone anyway." But of course, Kiyoomi doesn't miss it.

The movie serves as background noise at this point. He seems to ponder on something, his mind bringing him back to years ago when he would come to your family house whenever you felt upset. He reminisces on how his younger self used to cheer you up, his photographic memory pulling up scenes of you and him playing board games until the wee hours of the night. Until you finally felt happy again.

"Hey, do you still have that jenga with you? His question was puzzling, prompting you to look up at him with a perturbed look. He chuckles, his voice deep as he teases you, "Why are your eyebrows creased like that? It's not like I asked you a difficult question." A hand is raised, and before you know it, Kiyoomi has playfully hit your forehead.

"With that attitude, I am not bringing that game out." You grumble, pushing off him to massage the spot that he hit. He was giggling now, and it was a sight that only you have always been blessed with. It was only in your presence that he seemed to relax and show his true self. And this thought helps uplift your dampened spirit. "Alright, wait here. I'll get the jenga."

Five rounds in, zero wins for you, zero loses for Kiyoomi.

"Can't you show a girl some mercy, 'Omi," you complain after losing five straight games. Were you so unlucky in life that even in simple games you can't get a win? That thought drained you and you reach out for the bottle of wine to refill your glass.

Kiyoomi watches as you pour another serving. "It's because you are always drinking that you can't get your mind straight enough to play." You know he's just looking out for you and your low alcohol tolerance, so you find no ill intentions behind his words. He moves to snatch the wine from your grasp, but you were quicker to hide it behind your back. You stuck out your tongue at him.

He sighs, "Shall we go for another round?"

"Of wine or jenga?"

He stands up, going over to your side and offering a hand out to you. "Actually, that's enough of both for tonight." He drags you up to him, making you stand on wobbly feet and guiding you to the bedroom. You were whining almost all the way to your room, complaining like a little child who has not been given a gift from their Christmas wishlist.

Kiyoomi did not mind your playful punches and tugging on his shirt though. He was used to your antics. He didn't find it hard to tuck you in your bed, fluffing the pillow to make it comfortable and pulling the blanket over your body. He smiles when a contented expression takes over your features and he debates tucking the strand of hair that obstructs his clear view of your eyes.

Just when he thought you've finally calmed down, your eyes shoot open and it startles him a little. You grin, "Do you want to join me in bed, Kiyoomi?"

You always had a way with your words, sober or not. And at this moment, Kiyoomi has half a mind to jump in and cuddle with you until morning breaks. He almost says yes, but he remembers he was still in his outside clothes. He ruffles your hair, "Let me wash up first."

The hot shower that Kiyoomi takes in the bathroom allows him some time to think about the decisions he has made that led him in your apartment tonight. He recalls the first few hours he spent in the company of his teammates. But majority of that time was spent worrying over you.

Though you didn't outrightly mention it to him, Kiyoomi was not as oblivious to turn a blind eye to your heartbreak. When you texted him a week ago about your breakup, he constantly cursed the stupid jerk in his head. How could he have let go of such an amazing person like you? He lightly punches the wall, his fists curling as he remembers the face of your ex. As much as he'd like to drag his sorry ass to hell, he worried about you and it surprised him and his teammates when he immediately ran to the direction of your home.

After turning off the faucet, he steps out and steam fills the room. He dries his hair and wears the hoodie and shorts that he always keeps in your apartment. When he returns to your bedroom, he sees you sound asleep. He turns the rest of the lights off and carefully slides in to your side.

He's shocked when you turn and snuggle closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest. He gently strokes your head and the action stirs you lightly awake. "Hmm, you're warm," he hears you mumble.

Kiyoomi sighs in content and he thinks that he made the right decision coming to your aide tonight. He envelops you in his embrace and presses a kiss on the top your head, "You will never be alone. You'll always have me."

He doesn't mind spending Christmas like this with you. From now and forever.

FIN. taglist - @aii-channn @peteunderoos @jungtoast @nekoclysm @our-tall-slytherin-queen @isabella5 @slippinglasses @yhyucklee @rowley-with-ackerman @lilacnoodles @ineedsomefoodpls (can’t tag those in italics!)

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #sakusa x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuucreations #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fics #haikyuu x you #haikyuu one shot #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa fluff #haikyuu sakusa #haikyuu!!#[❄️] winter wonderland

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fiddlepickdouglas · 3 years

Text

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 14 - Unexpected Meeting

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, who will they run into?, 3.2k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

WARNINGS: death mention, emotional trauma

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

“Man, I need a break,” Reggie was saying as he strolled with Alex down an unfamiliar street in the early evening, stretching his arms. “I mean, being in the studio all the time has been good, but on top of everything else it’s just so much!”

Unsure where they were headed, Alex walked a few paces ahead on the sidewalk, casually navigating for both of them. He squinted as he looked at Reggie.

“Reggie, you dropped, like, all of your classes once we signed on.”

“Nope!” his friend exclaimed, tilting his head in a proud manner. “I just needed two electives to graduate. It’s okay, though, man. Not everyone finishes their math requirements as a freshman.” Reggie patted Alex’s shoulder, as if it were any sort of consolation.

“No, good for you Reg,” Alex said. His parents had paid for all this private tutoring and even gotten him to take some college credits early. Of course, his only serious plan after high school had been the band so it was all wasted effort, but then all of their attempts with him amounted to that. He was learning to feel less guilty over it. It wasn’t his fault they never cared about what he wanted.

“How long do you think Luke and Bobby are gonna be workshopping their parts together?” Reggie asked.

“Long enough. Where are we going, exactly?”

“Oh, I was just kind of keeping an eye out for anywhere interesting.”

Alex blinked. “I thought we were headed somewhere specific.”

“I’ve only been to this side of L.A. like, once, so I don’t think I’d make a good tour guide,” Reggie stated.

And just like that, Alex’s mind thrust itself back into remembering Willie. He was getting better at not crumbling completely in the moment, but it still felt like his heart was temporarily dunked into a dark ocean of misery. It would remain waterlogged and heavy inside his chest for a while.

“Alex?” Reggie was saying, looking at him with concern. “You okay?”

Snapping his thoughts back to the present, Alex sighed as he looked back at Reggie.

“I’ll be fine.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket and pressed his arms against his sides. Shoulders hunched, he continued through the crowd. Focusing on walking would hopefully help it wear off. He made every step purposeful, trying to get the weight in his heart to fall through his feet. Reggie’s hand on his shoulder made him turn.

“It’s still rough, isn’t it?” he asked gently. “If I said something - ”

“It’s not your fault,” Alex tried to assure him. “Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere. Besides, I can’t make you and everyone else walk on eggshells.”

“Maybe not, but we’re in this with you. It may have been different for us, but we all met Willie. I’d never seen you warm up to anyone that fast. Even after a few months, it’s still fresh; don’t force yourself to be better for us.”

Pausing on the sidewalk, Alex looked up at Reggie. He tried to smile as gratitude edged its way in, relieving most of the heaviness in his chest.

“I appreciate that, Reg.”

“Of course, man.”

“So,” Alex took a deep breath to let everything else wash away as they kept wandering. “You made it sound like you had a lot going on. Is everything at home okay?”

Reggie shrugged. “Eh...no change there. My mom went to stay with her sister after the last fight, so my dad’s been trying his best to take care of everything, but he’s too upset to handle it well. My little sister has just been sleeping over with friends anyway, and I can handle myself, so - ” he shrugged again, “ - you know, I do what I can.”

Alex nodded. He had nothing really to comment, and Reggie knew he was always there to support him. This wasn’t anything unusual for him, but it still wasn’t right. Neither of them spent much time at their own homes, so wandering through the city like this kept them occupied when they weren’t with the rest of the band. Looking up at the store signs around them, he saw a record store about a block ahead.

“Hey, why don’t we check that out?” he suggested.

“Yeah!” Reggie said, dropping any ounce of gloom from the previous subject and skipping along to catch up with Alex.

A small bell rang as they came through the door, and they immediately began filtering through shelves of records and CDs. Peeking toward the back of the store, Alex could see a counter that offered a menu of food and drinks, some tables, as well as the smallest stage in the world. This seemed like a neat little place.

“Oh,” Reggie started after a while. “I got us a gig playing at my cousin’s wedding.”

“A wedding?” Alex said skeptically, turning from the Pansy Division vinyl he was checking out. “When we’re trying to finish a record and go on tour?”

“It’s Conrad, okay, he’s family! And he said we could make the setlist.”

Alex shrugged, considering that was fair.

“...with his approval.”

At that addition, Alex could only sigh and shake his head.

“And then maybe, you could, I don’t know, finally ask Bobby to be your date?”

Reggie put down the Mötley Crüe album he’d been examining and looked up at him in shock. Alex realized he’d possibly been too blunt. But immediately Reggie began to cover it up, laughing and shaking his head.

“What?” he said, his denial completely transparent. “Was that a...was that supposed to be a joke or something?”

Giving him a look of pity, Alex put his hands on his hips.

“You’re really gonna try to pull the wool over the eyes of your gay friend?”

Caught, Reggie looked back at him in defeat and bowed his head.

“I’m gonna guess you noticed a while ago?”

Nodding, Alex tried to soften his demeanor.

“There’s been something up with you two for months. How come you haven’t tried to talk to him about it?”

Reggie knit his brow and began fiddling with his fingers.

“Well, I’m a little confused by it, to be honest. Cuz, I mean...I like girls, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“But I like Bobby, too.”

“Okay.”

His friend looked up at him, expecting more of a reaction. Alex leaned against the shelf and folded his arms.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with you? Because you’re talking to the king of wrong feelings.”

“Well, sometimes I feel like that, but not really. It’s something else,” Reggie said.

“Like what?”

“Well...we’ve been friends for years. It just sort of crept up on me and I don’t know what to do. What if he rejects it? He’s one of my best friends.”

Thinking for a moment, Alex looked down at his feet. He didn’t blame Reggie for being worried. He’d had a mini crush on Bobby for a couple weeks back in ninth grade and had the same dilemma. It was easier for him to get over, though, simply because it had faded quickly.

“Well, I wish I could say if it’s meant to be it’ll happen, but sometimes…”

Sometimes it dies in a fire before there’s any chance of knowing.

He shook his head to get rid of the awful thought and ignored Reggie’s look of concern.

“But if I know Bobby, I don’t think it’s going to harm anything. I think you should go for it, Reg. I truly, honestly, will back you up on that.”

A smile spread wide across Reggie’s face.

“Thanks, man!”

Without fretting over it for another second, he turned back to the shelf of CDs he’d been perusing, and Alex did the same. There was a crazy good selection, and Alex wished he could get his hands on a record player. Playing CDs on a boombox worked for some things, but there was a level of charm in playing something on a vinyl record that appealed to him even more. He made a note to get a small notebook to carry in his fanny pack, hoping to return to this store and make a wishlist of sorts to work toward.

“Do I see Alex and Reggie of Sunset Curve?” A familiar voice said from behind.

Both of them turned to find Flynn standing in the aisle, braids tied up into a high ponytail and eyebrow arched in her usual smart fashion.

“Hey Flynn!” Reggie exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. Alex went in for one afterward, happily surprised.

“Hey guys!” she said, grinning.

“What are you up to?” Alex asked.

“Gonna be performing in a bit,” she said excitedly. “Just a warm up before the main group comes on. I’ve been working on some of my own stuff; I think you guys would love it! Got time to stick around?”

“Sweet!” Reggie raised a fist for her to bump. “I’m down. Alex, wanna stay?”

“Yeah, sounds great!”

He had yet to see what Flynn was capable of. If he were to judge only on knowing she’d been in a duo with Julie, he expected it to be good.

“Also, you should try the burritos here,” Flynn told them. “They are to die for!”

The endless click-rollll-click-click-click of his board filled his ears as Willie moved through the street, feeling the wind pass over him in the way that made freedom feel like he could clutch it in his hands. He’d actually spent today not worrying about Alex. It felt good not to dwell on what little past he had access to. Of course, he still had repetitive dreams about the few memories that had come back, but the backwards one with Caleb in it hadn’t come back ever since he’d gotten to LA. Moving forward felt...nice.

He had spent the morning sketching at the beach, getting all sorts of practice in. The beautiful waves, seagulls, the different activities all around him. Somehow a group of young college kids had gotten him to join their volleyball tournament. Willie wasn’t sure if he’d ever played it before, but once he caught onto the game, he’d gotten surprisingly good. It felt nice to roll up the hem of his jeans and dig his toes into the warm sand while playing with a group of strangers. They’d nicknamed him Mowgli, whatever that meant. He liked the sound of it though.

Heading off to work after cleaning himself up, he realized he could spend all his free time that way. Peacefully sketching, meeting fun people, and enjoying his surroundings. Was that all it took to be happy? Willie chuckled at the thought of how much Caleb had stressed over rising to the top of his business game, never appearing to be satisfied with any of it. Leaving Vegas remained the best decision he’d ever made. Of course, he wasn’t always proud about his method of burning down the shed, but it had been one of those...heat of the moment things.

Willie skated up to the back entrance and shook his hair out after lifting off his helmet. Just a few short hours of making food, some chill entertainment, and he could peace out for the night. He headed inside the store and right into the small kitchen. Thankfully, the store didn’t fit too many patrons and it was never hard to keep up with orders, and Kyle had a system so he never had to leave the kitchen. This basically meant he could jam to the live music during the lulls between orders with no interruption.

Kyle entered the kitchen just as Willie was tying on his apron.

“Hey, dude, thanks for coming. We actually got two acts coming in, so it should be a full crowd. Katelyn can be the MC for the first bit, but do you mind taking over for the second half?”

A twinge of excitement came over Willie and he lit up. He’d never gotten to try being an MC before.

“Don’t mind at all!” he said.

“Alright, man!” Kyle exclaimed. “First two orders up: swamp style nachos and a bog burrito.”

“Got it.”

“We’re up for a big night with these performances,” the girl hosting hyped up the crowd. “Let’s give it up for our artist of the night: Flynn Taylor!”

Reggie cupped his hands over his mouth as he hollered along with everyone else’s applause. Alex clapped with a mouthful of nachos. Flynn stepped onto the stage behind a set of deejay turntables, smirking as she began flipping switches and turning knobs.

“Thanks for coming out here everyone,” she said into the mic. More applause and whistles echoed through the room. “We’re gonna make a lot of noise tonight, so let me hear you get pumped!”

As she began playing a beat, Alex bobbed along, immediately interested. He didn’t know a thing about mixing, so he was highly impressed with the different sounds she was using. Then Flynn picked up the mic and began rapping and the whole room cheered.

“...I’m a princess, I don’t need a prince, boy I’m priceless...I’m here to shut it down like a night shift…”

“Man,” Reggie leaned over to Alex. “She’s so good! I say we book her to open for us ASAP as possible.”

Alex merely snorted and chuckled at Reggie’s misuse of the acronym. He actually enjoyed the idea of having Flynn rapping to open for their rock shows. Gigs where all the bands sounded the same got a little flavorless sometimes.

“Also,” Reggie said as he took a huge bite into his burrito. “This is the best burrito I’ve ever had.”

“Lemme try some, you can try my nachos,” Alex said.

All Reggie could say was Mm! as he passed the burrito over.

The final beats of the first performer echoed in the kitchen where Willie had been dancing, waving various kitchen tools around. He’d thoroughly enjoyed the whole set, and wondered what sounded so familiar about the girl who was rapping. Before he could spend more time thinking about it, Kyle came in.

“Okay, you ready?” he asked.

“I just keep people busy and then announce the next group, right?” Willie guessed.

“Yeah, man, you’ve got this!”

“What’s the next group called?”

“Downslide. And they brought some merch, so it’s a good idea to mention that to the crowd as well.”

“Okay,” Willie nodded, slipping out of his apron. “Maybe I could put their t-shirt on or something, you know, sell the look?”

Kyle looked impressed. “Yeah! I’ll go see what they’ve got.”

He left the kitchen and hardly a minute later returned with a jacket.

“They said you could wear it for the night. Not gonna lie, I wish I could wear this, it’s a sweet jacket.”

Willie slipped it on, and turned around. He didn’t often wear jackets, but whatever it was made of was pretty soft.

“Guess I’m ready,” he said, giving Kyle a hand slide and fist bump before leaving the kitchen. He stepped up behind the microphone and looked out at the crowd, and further back, the empty store.

At that moment, he heard the bell of the store door ring and two guys walked outside. Through the window, a familiar leather jacket passed. Then, he saw a head of blonde hair follow, turning to look both ways to cross the street, and his heart grew to fill all the empty space in his chest. It was unmistakable. It had to be.

“Alex...” he breathed quietly into the microphone. Adrenaline immediately went out to his extremities. The crowd before him looked bewildered as they waited for him to announce the next group.

Glancing offstage, he saw Kyle give him a strange look. Willie shook his head, unclear what message he was sending but ultimately knowing he couldn’t stay at his current spot. Before he could think anything else, his legs were bounding out the door. It felt like every ounce of blood in his veins knew. The search was over.

Reggie and Alex had just reached the opposite corner. He wasn’t going to miss his chance.

“Alex!” he cried, running to meet them.

He immediately thrust his arms around a surprised Alex, gripping him tightly, burying his face into his shoulder.

“Oh my god, Alex!” he said, panting. “It’s so good to see you.”

He didn’t feel the hug didn’t reciprocate, and instead Alex grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away. The darkness of the street seemed to envelop him.

“What are you - ?” Alex started, staring back at Willie like he’d just been assaulted. Then shock wiped over his whole face. Then confusion. And then a pain came over all of it that made Willie’s concern grow.

“What - what is it?” he asked, all the excitement gone.

Alex wouldn’t look him in the eye, and he raised a hand to hold the side of his head.

“No, this isn’t real,” he whispered to himself, shrinking backward and shutting his eyes. “This can’t be real.”

Willie glanced over at Reggie, who also stared like he was seeing the impossible. He could see Alex shaking and heard a rattled breath, and felt tension grow thick in the air. Quickly, he went to take Alex’s face in his hands.

“Alex, hey, look, it’s me,” he soothed. He fought to get a look directly into his eyes. “It’s me, Willie.”

Finally, the green ocean gazed back at him, turbulent and restless. What once had been a grounding rhythm of waves had turned into a maelstrom of despair. Even worse were the tears welling up right before him. Willie watched the storm rage for a few seconds, seeking for a moment of calm.

“What’s wrong?” he murmured, lowering his hands. Alex looked so wounded it frightened him.

“How are you alive?” Alex begged to know.

Blinking, Willie sat back, astounded at those words. While he agreed it was a miracle he was still alive, he couldn’t fathom why Alex would ask such a question. He chuckled merely out of discomfort.

“I’m here.” Willie glanced at Reggie, looking for an explanation. “Flesh and bone. Why? What happened?”

Alex looked at him incredulously, jaw hanging open. He looked so tightly wound and so scattered all at once.

“Caleb told me you were dead.”

Willie blanched inwardly at the mention of Caleb, but even more so at the rest of that sentence he’d been utterly unprepared to hear.

“He...he - ” he stammered for a moment. “When would you have even talked to him?”

Sharing a look with Reggie, Alex took a deep breath. Then he looked back at Willie hesitantly.

“We see him all the time. We work for him now.”

It was Willie’s turn to drop his jaw.

“We’ve been signed to his record label for a few months now,” Reggie pitched in.

Directing his gaze to the ground, Willie puzzled for a minute.

“Why would I be dead?” he asked, looking back up at Alex.

For a minute Alex simply gazed at him wordlessly.

“I don’t know,” he said. There was a pause as both of them finally looked at each other, fully aware that this was real. And then Alex threw his arms around Willie to return the hug. Willie had to raise himself up on his toes to avoid falling over, and he tightened his grip to remain steady. He felt joy spread through his whole torso and breathed a sigh of relief as hands tangled into his hair. “But that doesn’t matter. I’m so happy to see you.”

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #fanfic #jatp fanfic #willex #alive au #sunset curve #alex mercer #willie #luke patterson #reggie peters #bobby wilson #julie molina #flynn taylor #caleb covington #viva las vegas #unexpected meeting #fiddlepickdouglas

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