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nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius · 1 year

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TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 9

Echo, comming Crosshair: Okay turn around. Echo: No, the other way. Echo: The other other way. Echo: Okay, one more time. Echo: A little to the left. Echo: No, your other left. Crosshair: OH MY GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?!? Echo: Oh, I'm not there yet. But the thought of you aimlessly spinning in circles amuses me.

Echo: Where are my fucking keys? Hunter: Echo, Omega is around, can you say it a little nicer? Echo: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

Tech: This is Hunter. He loves his personal space. *Omega latches herself onto Hunter* Tech: This is Omega. She also loves Hunter's personal space.

Hunter, texting Crosshair: Text me when you’re home safely. Crosshair: I’m home dangerously. Hunter: Stop it. Crosshair: I’m home lethally.

Wrecker: *shatters a window and climbs through it* Wrecker: *turns around and helps Omega through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Omega. Omega: Okay.

Tech: May luck (and this picture of Wrecker eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

Tech: Hello friends! The Squad: Tech: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling

Hunter: I am in charge of this disaster! Crosshair: I have a name, you know.

Echo: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce. Wrecker: What's wrong with you?? Echo: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention. Omega: No, he means other than that. Echo: Ohhhhhh. Echo: I haven't slept in 4 days.

Wrecker: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Hunter: I’m worried about you.

Tech: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight. Echo: Actually, Tech, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

Hunter: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks! Tech: Why would I do that? Hunter: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

Tech: Could you be anymore annoying? Crosshair: Yes.

Wrecker: We’re kind of missing something guys. Omega: Cohesion? Crosshair: Teamwork? Tech: A general sense of what we’re doing? Echo: And Hunter is not here. Omega: Oh, and that, yeah.

Tech: The adjective for metal is metallic. Tech: But not so for iron, which is ironic. Crosshair: It's 3am.

Crosshair: *sneaking in through the window* Echo: *turning in his chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night? Crosshair: I was with Hunter? Hunter: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

Echo: Let's get personal. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to say? Tech: I need help. Hunter: I'm sorry. Crosshair: I was wrong. Wrecker: Worcestershire sauce.

Omega, when Wrecker walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza. Omega: *accidentally smacks Tech in the face with the baking sheet*

Echo: What's gone wrong, Hunter? Hunter: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. Echo: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling? Hunter: Well... There’s a crisis.

Wrecker: Omega, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Omega, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than her size: Spooky.

Tech: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip! Hunter: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill! Echo: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out! Wrecker: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times! Omega: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up! Crosshair: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.

Tech: You're pathetic! Wrecker: You're pathetic-er! Crosshair: You're both losers.

Hunter walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Wrecker, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. Wrecker, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Tech: You need to stop swearing so much. Echo: Shut the fuck up. Tech: Yeah, that's not how you do it. Echo: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it. Tech: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine. Echo: Shit the beep up. Tech: Echo: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

Omega: If I run and leap at Hunter, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. Omega, running towards Hunter: Coming in! Hunter: No! I’m holding coffee! Hunter: *Drops coffee and catches Omega*

Wrecker: I think this might be a bad idea... Crosshair: Don't start thinking on me now!

Tech: Just be careful, Wrecker! Wrecker: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Tech! Wrecker: It's everything around me that's careless.

Hunter: I hope you have an explanation for this. Wrecker: We have three actually- Tech: Pick your favorite.

Echo: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Hunter: Please don’t get arrested. Echo: No promises! <3 Tech: Why not both? Get creative! Echo: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Hunter: Please don’t encourage them, Tech.

Crosshair & Omega: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Crosshair: We need an adult! Omega: Crosshair, you are an adult! Crosshair: We need an adultier adult! Get Hunter!

Tech, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Echo: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Echo: Here you go. Tech: Echo: Crosshair: Why am I here?

#incorrect bad batch quotes #incorrect quotes #the bad batch #tbb #star wars #echo chose chaos this time

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anopenbookunderlockandkey · 4 months

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The 118 Sauce Chat

Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop

Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?

Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot

Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.

Eddie: Cook on HIGH

Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green

Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese

Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Chim: Except in this case

Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule

Hen: Why? The spices.

Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts

Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*

Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.

Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.

Bobby: RIGHT????

Bobby: Please Eddie

Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means

Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first

Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???

Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this

Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point

Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground

-Athena

Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received

Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated

-Maddie

Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane

Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please

Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you

Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.

Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.

Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie

Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.

Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice

Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!

Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations

Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread

Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

Inspired by:

#things i decided i could make about 911 #Eddie diaz commits food crimes #Buck is his accomplice #buddie fic #911 fic #911 fanfic #text fic #incorrect 911 quotes #911 abc #911 fox

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detectivesvu · 2 years

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Exhaustion and Affection

Sonny Carisi x Fem! Reader

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 2.4k

“Of course. You need a decent meal that isn’t just a cup of coffee.”

Sonny hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Sonny was tired.

He felt the fatigue all the way to his bones as he shuffled to the front door of your apartment. The travel from his office to home had felt like an eternity, and sometimes with New York City traffic, it might as well have been. Sonny had the weekend off (technically – but there was always the chance of the infamous Olivia Benson phone call), and he was desperate for it. The past few weeks had been long for the esteemed counselor. He was strung out and spread thin with work, and he just didn’t have much juice left to give.

He had shed his blazer before he had even left his office for the night, and his tie had been loosened on the cab ride home. His hair that was usually neat and styled was wrecked on his head from his hand running through it throughout the day. He had officially clocked out until Monday morning (or unless prompted sooner).

Sonny felt a rush of relief when his feet landed at the mat in front of your apartment door. That was his signal that he had indeed made it, and his weekend off had officially begun. He reached for your spare key that you had gifted to him in his briefcase. Sonny felt like he never spent any time at his own apartment anymore.

He rummaged through papers and files before recognizing the cold brass on his fingertips. The key was rather worn for a spare, but it wasn’t surprising considering he used it practically every day. He put the key in the lock and turned it, alarmed when the click didn’t sound. There was hardly any real panic of a response because this was a regular occurrence.

Sonny scoffed under his breath, tossing the key back into his case and opening the already unlocked door. He entered your apartment, which offered warmth from the cool October air outside. He then noticed a certain smell, one of his favorite smells, that brought an audible rumble to his empty stomach. He closed the door (being sure to lock it behind him), and set his belongings by the front door. He followed the heavenly smell into the kitchen, and he was presented with a sight that nearly catapulted his heart out of his chest.

He saw you standing over your well-used stainless steel pot that was reserved for any and all pasta dishes that you knew how to make. He saw a separate pot with a lid over it, which he knew good and well was a tomato sauce. He knew the smell of good pasta, and he especially knew the smell of one of his mother’s recipes.

He noticed that you were still in your own work clothes, which let him know that you hadn’t been home very long yourself. The clicks of Sonny’s shoes hitting the tile caught your attention, and you turned around to greet him.

You gave him a happy hello, but he decided to get the hard business out of the way first.

“Sweetheart, you gotta start locking the door….even when you’re home.” Sonny warned, and this was not the first time that he had done so.

“Ah. I forgot. I need to start leaving a note on the inside of the door to remind me until I get in the habit,” You shrugged. “But even then I’d probably forget to look at it.”

“I know this is a well-secured building and all. And I know your neighbors are clean but-”

“-you never know.” You finished his sentence, and he couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah. Exactly.”

Sonny’s concern came from a good place. He had seen too many horrific things to not notice the small things that could potentially put you at risk to the evil of the outside world. It only made sense that he was so concerned.

“Now. How about a proper greeting?” You smirked. “Hi.”

“Hey, doll.” He laughed.

“You’re home somewhat early.” You noted, glancing at the clock that read 7:30 p.m. on the dot.

“I couldn’t take it anymore. There wasn’t anything that couldn’t wait until next week,” Sonny groaned. “Besides, I have the weekend off so why not start early?”

“Mm. Agreed.” You elbowed his side playfully, and he continued to peer over you as you stirred the spaghetti noodles.

“What are you making?” He asked.

“Carbonara. Nothing special,” You shrugged. “I just figured a simple dinner for tonight would be best. If you want something else, I can order takeout for you.”

“No, no. Carbonara is perfect,” He kissed your temple. “Smells great.”

Sonny really was hungry. It seemed that he had fallen into the ways of a real New York criminal prosecutor by skipping meals in order to get more done. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast that morning, and he had used the last of that energy long ago.

“I hope it tastes okay too. This is only the third time I’ve tried your Ma’s recipe.” You chuckled.

“It was delicious last time. Dare I say that it was….better.” He whispered the last word just below the shell of your ear, and your face ran hot.

“Dominick!” You gasped. “That is nearly blasphemous.”

He laughed a genuine, hearty laugh that brought some life back into his tired body.

“All I’m sayin’ is that my mother has taught you well.” He snickered. “You need help finishing up?”

“I don’t think so. Do you want to get washed up?” You suggested.

“You read my mind,” He joked. “Be right back.”

Sonny left the kitchen and took slow steps to the bedroom. He removed his shoes before stepping on the carpet, setting them next to the dresser so they would be out of the way. His socked feet felt better after being released from the confinement of Sonny’s leather work shoes. They had served him well, but no matter how much he wore them, they still weren’t the most comfortable shoes in the world.

Sonny’s blazer and tie were officially abandoned on the bed, and he’d be sure to take his jacket to be dry cleaned. He removed his belt and unbuttoned his shirt, stripping his clothes to prepare to change into something more comfortable. He was more than happy to change into a t-shirt and sweats, and he was even more glad that he didn’t have to wear his usual business professional attire until Monday morning.

Sonny padded into the bathroom, stopping at the sink and turning it on. He lathered his hands with soap, noticing how tired he visibly looked in the mirror. He knew that he had been working hard the last several weeks, so he wasn’t shocked that it had caught up with him. He rinsed his hands and splashed cold water on his face to wake himself up. All he wanted was a good meal and a night of leisure. God knows he needed it.

Sonny returned to the main area of the apartment, his excitement peaking when he saw that you had already plated dinner for him and were just finishing setting the table. Sonny sometimes felt guilty when you doted over him like this. He didn’t feel like he deserved it most of the time, but it made him only adore you more than he already did.

“You’re too good,” Sonny gushed, walking over to you for a quick kiss. “Thanks, doll.”

“Of course. You need a decent meal that isn’t just a cup of coffee.” You told him.

You were always on Sonny’s case about eating legitimate meals every day. You didn’t like when he came home late every day after skipping lunch. And even then Sonny usually only settled on a measly dinner.

The two of you sat across from each other at your dining room table. Sonny never complained, but he was far too tall for the small table. You had been meaning to search for one that didn’t cause his knees to be pressed up against the bottom of it. Sonny couldn’t have cared less though because he was only focused on the plate of pasta that was screaming his name.

Sonny barely even waited for you to sit before he began to dig in. Sonny was usually very polite and well-mannered at the table, but with the way he was slurping down his noodles – you would’ve thought he’d never been taught dinner table manners. He was chewing through the heat and hardly even chewing before he swallowed.

“Sonny, honey!” You stopped him from literally choking himself to death. “It’s not going anywhere, and I assure you I’m not going to take it from you.”

Sonny paused to actually chew his current mouthful and took a moment to compose himself before he spoke again.

“Sorry,” He chuckled, a little embarrassed. “I’m even hungrier than I thought.”

“There’s plenty more. Promise,” You caressed the calf of his leg with your foot from under the table. “How is it by the way?”

“Incredible. As expected,” He smiled. “Best meal I’ve had all week.”

“How would you feel if I told you that I have a coconut cream pie for afterwards?”

Sonny’s fork his hit plate with a clink, and his eyes went wide with surprise.

“You’re lying.” He gawked.

“I swear. I didn’t make it though. I bought it on my way home.” You admitted.

Sonny went quiet for a second. His eyes squinted in thought as he racked his brain.

“Did I miss something? Not our anniversary, not my birthday, not your birthday….” He listed off.

“Not at all,” You giggled. “I was saving it for tomorrow since I knew for sure you’d be here for dinner….but since you’re here now, I don’t see why we can’t have it tonight and tomorrow.”

Sonny was overwhelmed with love. It wasn’t that you didn’t shower him with affection like this often, but it definitely made it extra special considering he had been so rundown recently. Sonny was happy as could be sitting at that tiny dining room table, enjoying your food, and catching up with you. Sonny had missed seeing you and spending time with you — and it always reminded him how work could drag him away from you.

Once dinner was finished, and your chilled pie was being served, Sonny felt completely at ease. He had absolutely nothing to do until Monday morning, and he wasn’t even sure what to do himself.

“How’s the paperwork coming along?” You asked, scraping the last of the sweet cream from your dessert plate.

Sonny couldn’t help but groan.

“Babe, if you don’t mind, let’s not talk shop tonight,” He chuckled. “Please.”

Sonny’s request hadn’t been an irritated one. If anything, he was amused. He was usually more than willing to talk about work with you (considering that it was a great opportunity for him to vent to someone who could understand), but tonight he wanted to get as far away from it as possible. He was passionate about his work, but even then he could only take so much.

“I’m sorry,” You laughed. “Just a habit. Do you want more?” You asked, standing to retrieve his empty plate.

Sonny stood from his own chair, refusing to let you clean up alone.

“No, love. I’m good,” He kissed the crown of your head. “Thank you.”

Sonny helped you with the dishes, washing and drying and putting away to leave the kitchen clean for the night. Cleaning up with Sonny usually took double the time that it should’ve because he had a tendency to get distracted. You found it rather amusing because that was just how Sonny was. When the dishes were cleaned and stored away, Sonny pulled you into his chest for a kiss.

“You’re the best. You know that?” He hummed.

“I’ve been told a time or two.” You smiled against his lips.

Now that you were looking at him up close, you could see just how weary he looked. The lasting effects of stress were clear on his face.

“You’re tired.” You pointed out, burying a hand in his graying hair to scratch at his scalp.

“Very,” He nodded, his voice gone groggy. “How about a movie?” He kissed you again.

“Sure. Can you stay awake for it?” You asked.

“Very funny. ‘Course I can.”

Sonny had meant it. He wanted nothing more than to snuggle up with you on the couch under a blanket and spend the rest of the night doing nothing in particular. Sonny felt like he had been stuck at his desk or in the courtroom for weeks. Your apartment felt like the safest place on Earth to him right now. Sonny smiled lazily when you took his hand, prompting him to follow you into the living room. Sonny crashed on the couch, the plush pillows were a celebration to his tired muscles. He needed the rest.

“I’m going to change. How about you pick?” You suggested, offering the TV remote to him.

“Sure. Don’t be long.” He winked.

You tottered off to the bedroom to change into your own lounging attire, leaving Sonny in the silence of your living room. Sonny stared at the black screen of the television. The remote remained still in his hand. He hardly even had the energy to lift his thumb to hit the power button. It seemed ridiculous, but the thought of scrolling through Netflix to find a movie just seemed like too much work to him.

Sonny was sunken into the cushions, nearly being swallowed by the sofa as he stared at nothing. It was so quiet in the room. So still. So peaceful. He heard you rummaging around in the bedroom, but it was like white noise to him. Before he knew it, his eyelids were growing heavy, and his breathing was reaching a slower pace. Images of the last few weeks danced around in his head. The fast pace of his career had suddenly come to a stop, and he was basking in relief. Sonny had come home to a happy girlfriend who had fed him and taken care of him in his exhausted state. He had never felt more loved. And that was the best feeling to dream about.

When you returned to the living room clad in your most comfortable clothes, you weren’t surprised to see Sonny snoozing. You had a feeling that he wouldn’t have made it long once collapsing on the couch. He worked hard to pursue his passion, and that was something you never got in the way of. It wasn’t surprising that his work caught up to him at times. If anything, it was a reminder of how hard he worked.

It didn’t bother you in the slightest. Sonny needed the sleep.

After all, you knew that he hadn’t meant to fall asleep.

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x fem! reader #sonny carisi x female reader #sonny carisi x you #sonny carisi x y/n #sonny carisi one shot #sonny carisi oneshot #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi imagines #sonny carisi fluff #sonny carisi fanfiction #law and order: svu #law and order svu #law & order: special victims unit #law and order fanfiction #law and order svu fanfiction #detectivesvu

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bouncyballcitadel · 1 year

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“Small Things” - A Short Snippet

Something sweet and fluffy with Jean.

So, you didn't have your best moment today.

You scrub your face, your cheeks burning as you think back on this afternoon. You - rushing to the single stall bathroom Jean had showed you. You - barely closing the door before the ugliest sound had wrenched its way out of your throat. You - after texting Jean, cracking the door open to let them in before pouring out an absolute torrent of word vomit.

Fuck.

You press your heels against your eyes. After a warm shower, everything seems that much more embarrassing.

You know Jean, out of all people, would understand it. Everything built up, bottled up, shut up inside of you until something - any small, little thing - just makes it completely untenable. It's in these moments that make you want to change yourself - eat better, work out more, find a therapist finally - but you know how it is, that sooner or later you'll be back on your old shit, because if medicine is your daddy, you're one hell of a masochist.

The sound of your doorbell makes you jump, and you frown. Eli would've texted you if they had forgotten their key, and unless you complete forgot about ordering take-out, the person outside your door isn't a delivery driver. You peek through the peep hole and...don't see anyone. Instead, you just see three brown paper bags neatly on your doorstep.

You open the door cautiously. Did Eli order groceries without you? The two of you always put your grocery order in on Sunday (although given the week the two of you have had, that's gone over the way side), but maybe they went on a late night solo spree? You take the bags in and set them on the kitchen counter, about to message Eli, when your phone pings.

You mentioned you didn't have any food in your apartment, so I bought you some stuff. I hope it isn't too weird!!

Jean.

A smile forms on your face, widens as you unpack the haul. There's your favorite fruit, your favorite seltzer, a box of mac and cheese, pasta and sauce. Little snack wheels of cheese, olive oil crackers, sun-dried tomato spread. And, of course - a box of chamomile tea.

Not weird at all! you text back. Thanks so much!! You're beyond amazing.

And then you snap a selfie of you in front of the groceries, beaming like you've won the lottery - because, if you admit to yourself, you really have, having a friend like Jean, a friend that remembers you like tangerine seltzer, a friend that'll show up to hug you when you're having a breakdown in a single stall bathroom, a friend that you know has your back.

(And - if you thought more about it, it would be so easy, wouldn't it, to be with them. But - that, that's a thought for another day.)

#citadelwip #jean liu

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valerian-riverheart · 8 months

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The Taco Bell thing … go on….

OH MY GOODNESS I KEEP FORGETTING TO SIT DOWN AND ANSWER THIS AAAA

Okay so context I used to work at Taco Bell for about a year and a third, and my friend and I would make jokes about what kind of customer the characters of our shared interests would be like!

This wouldn't usually be about a specific order, since sometimes it's hard to say what Taco Bell meal a character would have. Instead, I base them off the types of customers I've interacted with. I'll try the professors in ravenwood for example:

Cyrus Drake: 100% the type to have an extremely specific order and would know IMMEDIATELY if you do it wrong. He won't even take a look in the bag. Would go inside the building just so he can stare directly into the kitchen from the counter. One of the only people who gives feedback in the surveys on the receipts.

Moolinda Wu: Only orders a veggie power bowl and water with a side of cinnabon delights. Though she doesn't worry much if the order happens to be wrong- except if there's meat on the power bowl. She doesn't really come around at all unless she's there with someone else. Prefers the cinnabon delights still frozen.

Uhhh I don't know if I should Mallistaire, Dworgyn, or Malorn- but I might come back to add all three of them in a reblog if I want to oops

Lydia Greyrose: So sweet and understanding, though she will be very particular about how long the food takes to be done and avoids going in during rush hours. Lydia also likes frozen cinnabon delights, was the one to introduce Moolinda to them. Asks for a cup of vanilla creamer, the managers say it's fine. Usually goes drive thru.

Dalia Falmea: Asks for extra diablo sauce, is delighted if you put a comically large amount in a small bag for her. Orders a side of tomatoes no matter what she gets. She would walk inside the building but gets her food to-go. Really she's a typical costumer, but what are you supposed to do when a literally hot woman is towering over you as she ponders about how many supreme dorito tacos she would like??

Halston Balestrom: Mexican Pizza Fiend. He was jumping for joy when he found out they were coming back. The only person to order a coffee in Taco Bell for who knows why. Uses the drive thru in the most elaborately built car you've ever seen in your life. Makes sure you put a utensil in the bag because frankly he doesn't think Taco Bell's pizza is exactly "finger food".

Sorry for the Balance teacher enjoyers too but I kinda lost steam rn I'm kinda sleepy but honestly that's the kind of stuff I would ponder COSLEMMFMF I might come back to add the rest of the professors but yeah you get the gist!

#w101 #wizard101 #taco bell headcanons #i unfortunately am too tired to try reading back at all of this so sorry for any mistakes and such lol #i did have to look up most of them to get a better idea of what they would be like but even then its rly hard #sorry to the necromancers and sorcerers 😭

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shitposthalf · 7 months

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Hey, here's a little one pot rice cooker recipe that is really tasty and makes for an easy meal.

I'll show you the version I make first, then put explanations and variations under the cut.

Serves 1-2, depending on portion size

Ingredients:

-1/2 Cup Jasmine Rice -About 1 cup vegetable stock (I used homemade) -Approx 1 tablespoon soy sauce -Approx 2 teaspoons mirin seasoning -1 diced carrot (about a 1/2 cup) -Diced celery (about a 1/2 cup) -Frozen Peas (about a 1/2 cup) -Frozen Corn (about a 1/2 cup) -Diced bacon (add to hearts desire) -Shredded dried seaweed (add to hearts desire, mind amount based on how salty the stock, bacon, and soy sauce are) -Minced garlic (use to hearts desire, I used jarred)

Method:

Put 1/2 cup rice in rice cooker, rinse or not idc

Add in rest of ingredients. I like to add the liquids first then the dry ingredients

Cook in rice cooker with lid on (except for stirring occasionally to prevent sticking/burning) until rice has absorbed the stock, the carrots are soft, and the bacon is hot.

Enjoy. Explanation and variations under the cut.

Explanations/FAQ/Variations I guess?

Q. Why use so much stock? A. The general ratio of cooking jasmine rice with water is 1:1.5. Meaning 1 cup of rice cooks with 1.5 cups of water. Ergo, half a cup rice needs 3/4 of a cup of water. The additional quarter cup of water is used to cook the rest of the ingredients. If I was using fresh peas/corn, I would probably add a bit more water.

Q. What can I use instead of these vegetables? A. Literally add whatever vegetables you want. You'll just have to adjust water content depending on what they are/how many vegetables you add. I recommend frozen veg, as non-frozen veg requires cutting up into small pieces so they cook through properly. But most frozen veg is pre-cut/already the right size.

This recipe uses about 2 cups of vegetables in it. That's about 4 serves of vegetables. So like, generally 2 cups veg total should be good. I dunno.

As for recommended vegetables? I dunno, I like broccoli so I'm planning on making it with broccoli in the future. Maybe cut up tomato?

Q. Its too salty? Why!? A. I used fresh stock, which has less salt in it than stock powders and bottles of stock. Either water your stock down, use less powder, or adjust your salty ingredients (such as soy sauce, seaweed, and bacon)

Q. What other meats/proteins can I use? A. I would recommend pre-cooked meat, as I don't believe the time in the cooker is long enough to cook through most meat unless cut very small. So I recommend meats such as ham, salami, bacon (although err on the side of caution with bacon!), pre-cooked chicken, etc.

If using pre-cooked meats (instead of cured), maybe add them in near the end so they don't dry out as much. Idk though, experiment with it!

Also, tofu would be tasty in it. Using firm: cut into cubes. Using silken, maybe stir in near the end.

Q. Do I have to use vegetable stock? A. No, you don't. Use whatever stock you want, just know different stocks will have different levels of salt, so you might have to adjust the recipe based on that.

Q. Do I have to use soy sauce + mirin? A. I mean, no. But I would recommend seasoning it in some other way, otherwise it'll probably be boring. At that point it won't be this recipe any more though.

Q. Do I have to use jasmine rice? A. No, could use any other rice. Again, will have to adjust water content depending on the type though. If you used basmati you could probably get away with using the same amount of water.

Q. Why share this recipe? A. It's the only hot meal I've had the energy to make the past 2 days. It has a good flavour, good amount of protein, carbs, nutrients, and veg. So like. It works. And it's quick + low on washing up (especially if you don't have to cut anything)

#recipe #savoury #cooking #easy #rice cooker #my recipe #quick food #quick recipe #food #rice #vegetables #bacon #soy sauce #mirin

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anonymous-dentist · 6 months

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your sister might actually have a tomato allergy i dont think people fine ketchup spicy unless its an allergy.

Things my family members find spicy, a non-comprehensive list:

Salt

Pepper

Garlic

Onion powder

Oregano

Basil

Ketchup

Mustard

Tomato sauce (pasta)

Tomato sauce (pizza)

Steak seasoning

Poultry seasoning

So yeah, no, she thinks ketchup is spicy. My dad won't eat food with anything stronger than a sprinkle of salt on it because he says it's too spicy. My mom... is fine, actually, but my dad and my sister? Wow. I'm not much better, but at least I can eat garlic without tearing up from how spicy it is. This is why I'm lowkey banned from cooking for the family lol, I add salt and pepper to things

You know. White people things! :D

#asks!#anon!#about a.d.#my family is so white the family tree has left never left northwest europe #mom's side is all from nordic countries and france. dad's side is all scotts-irish #combine that and you have the world's most embarrassing spice cabinet

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officialjamesflint · 3 months

Note

1-30. unless ur a coward

SCREAM LEXI THIS IS SO CHAOTIC <33 so of course i had to do it

chipotle order?

I'm the bane of all burrito bar workers because i get sooo many things 😭i get a burrito with: white rice, barbacoa usually but sometimes i mix it up, black beans, corn, sour cream, cheese, lettuce, sometimes i get mild salsa, guac if i have the dollars! and i usually get chips n guac on the side

2. thoughts on veganism?

you do you but i could never because i love dairy and eggs too much. i also have a crazy metabolism and meat alternatives don't always sate my Hunger (but i do LOVE tofu esp when it's cooked well <33)

3. a specific color that gives you the ick?

i legit couldn't think of any <33 i suppose like. really bright neons?? but they just hurt my eyes and they're also cool in certain contexts

4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

aliens i guess?? i want nessie to be real she is my friend <33

5. favorite form of potato?

TATER TOTS!!!

6. do you use a watch?

yes!! i have one of those cheap timex expedition watches because i can't read analog very quickly 😔

7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

answered here!

8. do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home?

nope! i lounge in my jeans because i'm evil

9. do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)?

sort of i guess?? i wash my face and put spf moisturizer on every morning

10. on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

ginger ale baybee!! or water sometimes because i'm a cool guy

11. anything from your childhood you've held on to?

lots of stuff!! books, stuffies, clothes (legit almost all of my winter gear is stuff i've had since elementary school). i love Objects <3

12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%?

uhh i'm not really a Brand Guy. but i like neutrogena for skin stuff. and cerave cause all my moisturizers are from them

13. first thing you're doing in the purge?

is the purge the one where laws don't exist?? i forgor. probably go hide in ikea i guess??

14. do you think you're dehydrated?

not at all i am obsessed with water

15. rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning

yikes! freezing/drowning/burning i Guess

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

YUM

17. an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

i don't even know...i guess? stick to my bedtime routine?? because if i don't i'm always scared i won't fall asleep??

18. your boba/tea order?

answered here!

19. the veggie you dislike the most?

hmm this is a good question. probably tomatoes (FIGHT me they're used as veggies in cooking) (sorry tomato lovers they simply make me feel sick in my heart. but i like them in sauce)

20. favorite disney princess movie?

mulan <33 but i also love moana and tangled

21. a number that weirds you out?

none of them all numbers are the same to me. except the funny ones

22. do you have an emotional support water bottle?

YES i've had the same water bottle since i was 16. yes i know that's gross but shh i love her i've replaced her cap like. 5 times.

23. do you wear jewelry?

i have 2 permanently attached friendship anklets! i need to repair my friendship bracelets they both had threads snap 😭

24. which do you find yourself using, american or british english?

uhh american i suppose. but also when i'm writing i accidentally spell things british style and google docs yells at me

25. would you say you have good taste in music?

yes <3 it is my job

26. how's your spice tolerance?

all right. i can handle like medium spice just fine <3 it's impressive for a midwesterner but i also didn't grow up here so it's just regular

27. what's your favorite or go-to outfit?

jeans. t-shirt. fun sweater. boots. i am a simple man (autistic)

28. last meal on earth?

BIG bowl of fried rice from a nice restaurant. fancy blue cheese. bubble tea. i can't think of a dessert but something delicious and chocolatey

29. preferred pasta noodle?

corkscrews <33 idk what they're actually called

30. ask me anything !

lexi i love you <33 this was so chaotic and also really fun to think about all of these

#tam answers #the thing about my burrito order is it's hypothetically like. what they're probably prepared to make #but i learned at my college burrito bar that if you're at all inexperienced at rolling burritos that the Tam Burrito will destroy you #sorry to all the freshmen i tortured over the years #no other commentary to provide. this was unhinged and also it's lucky lexi sent this on my day off <33

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mintymemesandrpshop · 3 months

Text

Tips from a grocery worker/foodsafe certified waiter!

The temperature 'danger zone' for food and drink is 40-140F, with 2 hours being the limit without refrigeration/cooking.

Open container, Public Intoxication, and Driving Under Influence are all separate broken laws. Establishments that serve alcohol in the US are required to cut you off the moment you are visibly drunk. 'Open container' can also be a misnomer and vary by state- bottles and cans in anything less than a glued blox may need to be in a bag.

Raw flour has E. Coli bacteria, factory farmed eggs will have salmonella due to poor hygiene (sitting in their own shit).

Speaking of eggs, grocery eggs are 2 weeks old due to needing to properly settle to a baking standard. Eggs from a local farmer may be safer, but will also be somewhat different and not have enough air for baking until they are also that age.

Steak is safe to eat rare due to its thickness and proximity away to any nasties in the body waste; hamburger is not. Burger is ground up with various cuts and intestines so needs to be cooked properly well done. Chickens are too small to have this effect, so salmonella is a risk no matter what. Pork is somewhat in between, as there is a risk for trichinosis, but the larvae are much easier to spot, making this start to go extinct in domestic pigs.

Dogs and Cats in general cannot have spices or seasonings, grapes, chocolate, or milk.

Most creatures are lactose intolerant due to the fact that they will not grow up into 1000 lb animals. Goats however, are closer to human size so their milk and cheese is more digestible. Smaller animals will need dilluted goat's milk, into a custom formula. (your grocery store may have this in a can, powdered.)

Pasta noodles mainly exist to hold sauce flavor in proportion; thicker noodles like rotini are usually recommended for thicker sauces such as tomato/marinara.

It is safer for pizza chefs to not wear gloves, actually! Gloves cannot be washed, only changed, and they are trained anyways to not touch someone's food once cooked. Cooking trays/pans, industrial sized knives, spatulas, and boxes all make this possible.

Humans are very dense and weighty creatures proportionally, that they can essentially tank a lot of poison damage that other animals cannot. This is one of many reasons we are not picky eaters as a whole!

Kids instinctively dislike bitter foods due to not having grown up into this said tankiness; vegetables and things that may be good for them can taste like poison, and they cannot tell the difference yet.

Electric Kettles are more efficient at boiling water than stovetops. I'll let the video guy speak for himself, but they boil water directly rather then heating a pot/pan which then heats the water. This is great for things such as small meals, partially unclogging drains, or heating bathwater.

Keurig or similar machines do not boil the water for your coffee! They heat to 100 degrees, so if your town has a boil order up, do not pour unboiled water into their tanks!

Large packs of water and soda often have bar codes on the top- you may not have to lift them if a laser-gun can get involved!

chicken nuggets from the golden arches are beer battered, the way fish are. They're fish-fried chicken.

Grocery Register Belts can have some really dumb design- with the computer /register itself taking up half the width of the goddamn belt. Keep your food safer by loading the belt heavy to light if you can- or light to heavy. Also, putting your food in a straight line towards the checker. You cannot trust the infared camera to stop the belt unless your items are opaque- your beer will crush your bananas in front of them unless they can slide over the scanner zone. You will prefer a fixable scan error until we can perform alchemy.

Fruits and Vegetables have 4 digit international trade codes! unless you know what breed your apple is or are bad with numbers, these are probably easier to input if you happen to be ringing these up yourself. It is perfectly possible for a self-check system to sell you the wrong kind. Same thing with the numbers on a bar code- they also work, if your code is faded or corrupted. (or, for whatever fucking reason a brand decides, light colors like silver, or cute shapes. those suck. looking at you, bud fucking weiser with your fucking ribbon.) The laser guns are a bit more accurate than the belt as a second resort.

#psa #food #long post #food safety #ask to tag

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caluski · 10 months

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If you were cooking for a dinner party (and money/space is not a problem), what would you cook? Would you make a playlist? Or maybe put some flowers on the table?

Ah I wishhhhhh I had more time to get into writing a long answer rn instead of getting ready for work bc I love planning imaginary parties so much........ But since money wouldn't be an issue, I'd definitely make baked salmon as main entrée. Just plain salmon I think, with tomatoes most importantly, but also other veggies that taste good baked on their own bc I think it's always fun to put up a plate where guests can just grab whichever veggie they like, as opposed to like... Them being mixed together, so u just grab a spoonful and then someone has to pick out something that they don't like (I always have that issue with onions...). Definitely a dressing on the side, maybe like a herbal/dill one since that goes well with salmon.

And then as an alternative meal, I think I'd serve a huge bowl of tagliatelle (it's such a dinner party pasta!!!) but sauce on the side (I feel like that's always more considerate of guests preference) , probably something with spinach and chicken and mushrooms? Id definitely have to think about what my guests like, and then think of something they'd enjoy too, obviously.... But I think I'd avoid meat in general. Definitely as little dairy as possible, too, so people don't feel too heavy after the meal. Nothing too spicy, either (unless I'm the only one in the company that doesn't like it).

And ah, obviously would prepare a bit of soup, too. I guess that depends on the season, but a good one is always green pea cream soup. It tends to feel a bit too bland in excess, but in small servings it's absolutely delicious, and so perfectly warm for the tummy. Maybe with croutons? I'm not sure.

And when it comes to dessert, that also depends on what my guests would enjoy bc I don't really eat cakes or whatever. If I really don't have the time/money limit, i think I'd like to try making the little tapioca puddings! I think they're fun and delicious, especially if I could serve them in like large shot/gazpacho glasses. Maybe alternate between fruity fillings at the bottom, perhaps cherry, raspberry, bilberry....

I think when it comes to alcohol, id make it vodka/beer-free :) if it's like my dream party then it would be probably a celebration of maybe a big promotion I'd get, or getting engaged, maybe welcome party to an apartment of my own.... And idk i just always found that vodka and beer don't really work with it you know? I'd serve wine. MAYBE coctails if there's space to make them (I guess then a little vodka would be okay but like, you know, no pure shots) bc it would be so much fun to make mojitos or margaritas for my loved ones. Everything in the fanciest glasses I could afford, looking lovely, stocked up on ice and slices of lemon on the rim.... Obviously non alcoholic drinks too, I think that goes without saying.

When it comes to music, i have my love and food playlist always ready to go :-) by now it's I think 13 hours long though, so I'd queue my favorite songs, like the more romantic/jazzy ones and avoid the tracks that are too sad. But with decor i am so so so bad 😭 so I'd probably just settle for something simple, like candle sticks in a cute color sticked into the two holders I bought on sale a while ago, and with flowers I'd probably end up asking for advice my mom or sister since they're so much better at this than I am.... Oh, I love how many different napkins they are in home decor stores tho, and I never get a chance to buy them and use them!!!! Sometimes they're like in rainbows or with kittens and puppies or with cute messages like "have a great day" and such..... I even bought a pack once, with a bus that was full of puppies, it was soooooo adorable and SO much more fun than the regular plain white/cream colored napkins. Even if they are cheaper :/ but again, this is like a big occasion so I'd splurge a little.

#I guess I ended up giving a long answer after all 😭😭😭 sorry #But this was so fun to think about thank u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love talking about this kind of dumb stuff even if it's unrealistic...#And I'm definitely not a very cultured person cuisine-wise so it probably wouldn't end up too fancy of a dinner #But like whatever lol #pogaduchy

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daimonclub · 4 months

Text

Quotes and aphorisms on food

Quotes on food Quotes and aphorisms on food by various and famous authors and writers, ideas and thoughts to a well balanced diet and food philosophy to eat and live better. I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead. Woody Allen We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. Jeff Arder A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart, who looks at her watch. James Beard Unbought feasts. (Lat., Dapes inemptae.) Latin Proverb An anonymous man from the 16th century always used to say: "There are many important things in life, the first is eating, I don't know the others." Carl William Brown Hunger is a good cook. Author Unknown Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good. Alice May Brock Eating is touch carried to the bitter end. Samuel Butler One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. Virginia Woolf I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. John Barrymore Only the pure in heart can make a good soup. Ludwig Van Beethoven

Aphorisms on food Yogi ordered a pizza. The waitress asked How many pieces do you want your pie cut? Yogi responded, Four. I don't think I could eat eight. Yogi Berra Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. Ambrose Bierce The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid, and my mother made me eat it. I am President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. George H. Bush The healthy stomach is nothing if it is not conservative. Few radicals have good digestions. Samuel Butler I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown What most moved him was a certain meal on beans. Robert Browning I just hate health food. Julia Child Life is too short to stuff a mushroom. Shirley Conran Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. Robert Byrne A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. Lord Byron The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter. Barbara Cartland

Aphorisms and quotes on food It is a difficult matter to argue with the belly since it has no ears. Cato The Elder For its merit I will knight it, and then it will be Sir-Loin. Charles II Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat. Marcus T. Cicero Although there is a great deal of controversy among scientists about the effects of ingested food on the brain, no one denies that you can change your cognition and mood by what you eat. Arthur Winter Food = joy ... guilt ... anger ... pain ... nurturing ... friendship ... hatred ... the way you look and feel.... Food = everything you can imagine. Susan Powter Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing. Fran Lebowitz Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soy beans. Fran Lebowitz More die in the United States of too much food than of too little. John Kenneth Galbraith Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly. M.F.K. Fisher Food was always a conduit in our family for storytelling, and it was a way for us to keep in touch and remember things. We're people that use food to keep each other together and to always cheer us up and make all of our days better. Rachel ray My favorite food city is wherever I happen to be eating. You know what they say, love the one you’re with! Pamela Anderson A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. Aesop The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it. William Collier The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life. Cyril Connolly

Salami Italian typical food To eat is human, to digest divine. Charles T. Copeland Square meals often make round people. Joseph E. Cossman I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield Let the stoics say what they please, we do not eat for the good of living, but because the meat is savory and the appetite is keen. Ralph Waldo Emerson When a man's stomach is full it makes no difference whether he is rich or poor. Euripides Cheese is milk's leap toward immortality. Cliff Fadiman Roast Beef, medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy. Seated at Life's Dining Table, with the menu of Morals before you, your eye wanders a bit over the entrees, the hors d'oeuvres, and the things a la though you know that Roast Beef, medium, is safe and sane, and sure. Edna Ferber I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. Totie Fields Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly. M. F. K. Fisher Food has it over sex for variety. Hedonistically, gustatory possibilities are much broader than copulatory ones. Joseph Epstein I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food. Erma Bombeck Food ... is the topmost taper on the golden candelabrum of existence. Donald Barthelme He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth; And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart. Bible, Psalms The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn't remind you of anything. Redd Foxx One should eat to live, not live to eat. Benjamin Franklin More die in the United States from too much food that from too little. John Kenneth Galbraith God comes to the hungry in the form of food. Mahatma Gandhi It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. W. S. Gilbert Meat eaten without either mirth or music is ill of digestion. Sir Walter Scott Mellow nuts have the hardest rind. Sir Walter Scott

Thoughts on the art of food Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. Oscar Wilde We ought to know about our culinary past. Food and identity is terribly important ... I don't mean we should go out and eat historic dishes, but we should know what makes us different ... self-confident nations have that sense of where they come from. Tom Jaine What is food to one, is to others bitter poison. Lucretius Food is much better off the hand than the fork. Mario Batali You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food. Kurt Vonnegut We need a quarter of the food we eat to live, the rest is used to fatten industrialists, advertisers, doctors and undertakers. (obviously for those dying of hunger the situation changes.) Carl William Brown Food - what is chosen from the possibilities available, how it is presented, how it is eaten, with whom and when, and how much time is allotted to cooking and eating it - is one of the means by which a society creates itself and acts out its aims and fantasies. Margaret Visser There is such a thing as food and such a thing as poison. But the damage done by those who pass off poison as food is far less than that done by those who generation after generation convince people that food is poison. Paul Goodman A gourmet is just a glutton with brains. Phillip H. Haberman Jr. As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it. Buddy Hackett A store of grain, Oh king is the best of treasures. A gem put in your mouth will not support life. Hitopadesa First rule of Economics 101: our desires are insatiable. Second rule: we can stomach only three Big Macs at a time. Doug Horton Most of us are either too thin to enjoy eating, or too fat to enjoy walking. Edgar Watson Howe A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. Kin Hubbard A man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner. Samuel Johnson He who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else. Samuel Johnson He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste. Nikita S. Khrushchev Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may diet. Harry Kurnitz I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee. Burt Lancaster The most dangerous food to eat is a wedding cake. Author Unknown

Quotes on food and wine Food is our common ground, a universal experience. James Beard The fact is that this generation - yours, my generation ... we're the first generation that can look at poverty and disease, look across the ocean to Africa and say with a straight face, we can be the first to end this sort of stupid extreme poverty, where in the world of plenty, a child can die for lack of food in it's belly. Bono The act of putting into your mouth what the earth has grown is perhaps your most direct interaction with the earth. Frances Moore Lappe Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. Fran Lebowitz Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz If you're going to America, bring your own food. Fran Lebowitz Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. Fran Lebowitz I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. Joe E. Lewis If there were only turnips and potatoes in the world, someone would complain that plants grow the wrong way. Georg C. Lichtenberg Everything you see I owe to spaghetti. Sophia Loren Choose rather to punish your appetites than be punished by them. Tyrius Maximus It ain't what you eat, but the way how you chew it. Delbert McClinton You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread. Henry Miller Never eat more than you can lift. Miss Piggy We are digging our graves with our teeth. Thomas Moffett Lunch kills half of Paris, supper the other half. Charles De Montesquieu No man is lonely while eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. Christopher Morley You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed. Hector Hugh Munro He that eats till he is sick must fast till he is well. Hebrew Proverb There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. New England Proverb

Vegetarian food pyramid Want to learn to eat a lot? Here it is: Eat a little. That way, you will be around long enough to eat a lot. Anthony Robbins We know that ever woman wants to be thin. Our images of womanhood are almost synonymous with thinness. Susie Orbach We may find in the long run that tinned food is a deadlier weapon than the machine-gun. George Orwell Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody. Samuel Pepys Make food a very incidental part of your life by filling your life so full of meaningful things that you'll hardly have time to think about food. Peace Pilgrim He who eats alone chokes alone. Arabian Proverb It's better that it should make you sick than that you don't eat it at all. Catalan Proverb Don't dig your grave with your knife and fork. English Proverb A good meal ought to begin with hunger. French Proverb Appetite comes with eating; the more one has, the more one would have. French Proverb There is no such thing as a pretty good omelette. French Proverb Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love. Turkish Proverb When one has tasted it he knows what the angels eat. Mark Twain He who is a slave to his stomach seldom worships God. Saadi I have found it to be the most serious objection to coarse labors long continued, that they compelled me to eat and drink coarsely also. Henry David Thoreau There is nothing to which men, while they have food and drink, cannot reconcile themselves. George Santayana To eat is to appropriate by destruction. Jean-Paul Sartre Eating is not merely a material pleasure. Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and contributes immensely to goodwill and happy companionship. It is of great importance to the morale. Elsa Schiaparelli He jests at scars that never felt a wound. William Shakespeare There is no love sincerer than the love of food. George Bernard Shaw

Ideas and quotes on food Seven's a banquet nine a brawl. Author Unknown Worthless people love only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live. Socrates For much of the female half of the world, food is the first signal of our inferiority. It lets us know that our own families may consider female bodies to be less deserving, less needy, less valuable. Gloria Steinem Lunch is for wimps. Oliver Stone Man shall not live by bread alone. The Holy Bible Put a knife to thy throat, if you're a man given to appetite. The Holy Bible Much meat, much disease. Author Unknown Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. Phyllis Diller Do not arouse disdainful mind when you prepare a broth of wild grasses; do not arouse joyful mind when you prepare a fine cream soup. Dogen A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast. Izaak Walton Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks. Lin Yutang Find out more visiting these links: Good food for your diet (With Videos) Vegetarian food diets (With Videos) Thoughts and reflections on food Aforismi e citazioni sul cibo International and Italian recipes Enogastronomia e turismo Italian recipes, fashion and travels https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/easy https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes http://allrecipes.com/recipes/1947/everyday-cooking/quick-and-easy/ http://www.sjana.com/blogs/lifestyle/food-for-the-soul Cooking traditions in Lombardy, Italy Read the full article

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inlocusmads · 5 months

Note

Trystan & Nora, Hot Sauce for the 100 words.

thank you so much for sending me a prompt Kyra!

worchestershire ~ trystan x nora

100 word drabble challenge for clear skin

Wc: ..678. I'm SORRY okay this kind of spiralled into something and im too stubborn to edit it out.

(I'm definitely not having clear skin after this)

“Clearly it is capsaicin. Dosing more than 12 grams is enough to cause significant harm.” Ruby brought out the test results.

“But the victim seems to have had a high tolerance for pain, considering she ordered a virgin bloody mary.” Trystan pointed at the receipt. “Surely the capsaicin found in the Tabasco sauce consumed would be less than the lethal dosage, no? She is also Thai, which means she definitely must have more than the average person's spice tolerance. I should know. I went to Chiang Mai. They had this competition at this restaurant and I -- am happy to report I finished third.”

“But what if capsaicin was added to her drink?”

“Does not make any sense. Her drink was covered.” Trystan showed her the picture. “And she had no reason to -- well, open the lid or anything, considering the drink was a sizable portion and she carried it around before she fainted. Unless the bartender had some kind of personal vendetta against her, she would have had no reason to die.”

“Nora?” Ruby asked. “What are you doing?”

“Going through her medical records.”

“I have gone through it twice. Nowhere does it say she is allergic to capsaicin.”

“Trystan, you're our drink connoisseur. What does a Bloody Mary contain again?”

“Hot sauce definitely. Tomato juice or extract of some tomato variety. Vodka is a must. A twist of lemon. Worchesure sauce-”

“Wor-what?” Nora asked.

“Oh come on, don't tell me you haven't heard of Wor-chest-ur-shur sauce.”

“C-can you say that again? I didn't quite catch it.”

Trystan groaned. “Worsesshur sauce” , pronouncing it incorrectly and knowing full well of it.

“One more time, my ears might have missed-”

“Worces- '' Trystan struggled again, remembering a video wherein they'd put on this Cockney accent. Except his sounded like a duck getting strangled by another duck.

“She's messing with you.” Ruby exclaimed. “Goddamn it, Nora. A woman's dead!”

“Right, right yeah- just making sure.” Nora shot him a playful look. Trystan turned the other way. “And vodka, right?”

“Yes. Whatever will you do without vodka?”

“In this scenario, you die.” Nora grabbed a piece of paper from the file and slid it to them across the desk. “She’s allergic to grapes. Deathly, if I might add. Which is why she ordered a virgin bloody mary according to the receipt in the purse.”

“Vodka doesn't have grapes in them.” Ruby took a closer look at it.

“True but premium vodkas tend to have them. Especially the ones with fruit, such as the brand Ciroc.”

“Ciroc right here.” Nora pointed at a picture of the shelf of bottles she'd taken not long ago. “We don't have a large sample size of the drink to have another round of tests but we can go there and check out their employee handbook. Considering she specifically ordered virgin cocktails, it is safe to assume whoever worked there probably had a personal vendetta.”

“Ha! I was right!”

“Not so fast, Mr Worcestershire sauce.” Nora said, in perfect pronunciation of the word. “We’ll have to look for any discrepancies in the employee record. It was a crowded house last night. Anyone could've played bartender.”

“We can't rule out accidents either.”

“Exactly. Good work Ruby.”

“But I thought it was capsaicin.”

“Well now you know mistakes can be tackled-”

“-With my drinking knowledge around.”

The two shot him a look.

“What? I am not a feverish alcoholic. I happen to know a lot about them from this employee manual right here.” Trystan produced a book of cocktail recipes from his coat jacket.

“Where did you find this?”

“I stole it from the scene of the crime, obviously.” Trystan put it ever so nonchalantly. “As Nora was saying, mistakes can be tackled with me around.”

“You thought it was some Tabasco sauce drug.” Nora glared at him.

“Ignore her. Clearly I am being underpaid and overlooked for my services.” he said. “Can we go through our evidence now or are you going to continue to stall by flirting with me?”

“Say Worcestershire sauce five times in a row.”

“Shut up.”

***

#trystan x nora #100 word drabble exercise #w:inlocusmads #crimes of passion fics

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thessalian · 8 months

Text

Thess vs A Lack of Consideration

So there is literally no end to the absolute bloody cheek of my colleagues.

I spent most of the day looking at the typing queue and going, "The number of items typed hasn't gone up that much but the time stamps on the earliest items in the queue haven't changed; what the fuck is going on?"

I found out what the fuck was going on when I got to a certain point in the dictation and found out that everything from about 2pm to 6pm yesterday was typed, and the only things left besides today's typing were the earlier things - and every single one of them was either very long, dictated by someone with significant issues with the dictation, or both.

And then Milady came along and took the shortest and most reasonable of those, instead of taking them in order, which would have had her doing a long-ass monstrosity by a junior doctor who repeats herself an awful lot but instead left said monstrosity to me.

I mean, the unending nerve of these people. The rules are simple - you take the damn things in the order in which they were dictated when transcribing them, unless they're urgents and/or someone has asked specifically for them.

You know the worst part about this? It's that I would be a lot less angry and frustrated if someone came up to me and just said, "You're better at this than anyone in the department and we need you on these". I mean, I'd still be annoyed, because my colleagues are supposed to be fucking professionals and you learn to do this shit, you know? But at least I'd understand it - doctors expect a certain standard, even if they don't reach it themselves, and I'm probably the only one in the department who takes the word salad that comes out of the faces of the doctors and converts it into rational sentences. So yeah, I'd be annoyed that no one else was stepping up but at least I'd understand the necessity. Thing is, thre's no necessity here. It's not even a matter of lack of ability; it's simple laziness. It's saying, "These are awful. I don't like them. I don't want to do them. I'll make [Thess] do them instead, even if [Thess] struggles with them because of disability. I don't care if [she] suffers."

I'm tired of being the only one who steps up when we're swamped. I'm tired of being the only one Scruffman asks to do fiddly shit with sending reports to patients who referred cases to us (because somehow none of our new systems seem to send those reports directly to the people who asked for them in the first place, so we get emails from these people once a month, so ... what the fuck?). I'm tired of being left with the long and complicated bullshit to the point where they'll take a four-plus hour wodge of typing from the afternoon just so they don't have to touch the long complicated stuff that's normally done in the morning. I am tired of doing every single piece of shit work in the department. And I am really tired of knowing that Scruffman will not do anything about any of it because he's conflict-avoidant, I'm not there to physically get into his face, and he doesn't care so long as the work gets done and he doesn't look like he's in over his head in a managerial role that he's not actually qualified for.

I'm just tired. I was going to go out to pick up a few things but now everything feels like way, way too much work. It's not anything I actively need, but I thought "really nice but low-effort dinner plus glorious snackies and the assault of Moonrise Towers" would be a great way to spend a Friday night. I do have an alternative option but somehow "tuna broccoli lemon pasta" isn't as motivating as, like, "bacon mozzarella burger with hash browns and salad, maybe with actual decent tomatoes".

I miss being able to just order a burger. I mean, I can, but the options are "no bun at all; just whole thing wrapped in lettuce" or "kind of crappy bun", and both are expensive as fuck. Besides, I could make a better burger in my sleep. Even deprived of A1 sauce as I am.

...That reminds me; need to make up that list to send with Mum when she goes to North America in a few weeks. She's being kind enough to bring me maple syrup, expensive as that's become, but I want A1 sauce ... and, because Baking Yesteryear, I also require Jello and Jello pudding. I've checked and they are gluten-free.

Also flu vaccine before MCM Comic Con, if it can be arranged.

#Thess has a day job #Thess cooks

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strangertheories · 2 years

Note

Hello. I realize my question was not specific enough. I was indeed asking about their autism, not just the characters, but thank you for responding anyway.

No worries! This is a very late answer so apologies for that anon. I'm also a master at misinterpreting things anyways especially online so I just guessed what you wanted. I can give specific headcanons here though! I'll be going with autistic Robin, Dustin and Byers family (including Eleven) by the way and I reference some relationships (Ronance, Byler, Willel)

Dustin is a sensory seeker when it comes to food and loves eating spicy food.

Robin on the other hand is not and only likes very plain food, especially carbohydrates like pasta and bread.

Think I've said this before, but Robin taps out songs from her trumpet as a stim and hums along. Nancy noticed her doing this and now she sometimes joins in/harmonizes with her humming which Robin likes.

Will has a hyperfixation on comic books and often spent ages recapping the plots of his favourite ones, especially X-Men, to Johnathan, Joyce and Mike. Joyce tries to listen but doesn't understand, Johnathan just let's him talk and takes it all in and Mike geeks out with him and they have long debates over their opinions.

She generally doesn't like pasta sauce though except one tomato sauce (but only if it's cooked by Nancy).

When Robin is panicking, Nancy cuddles her and the compression as well as the fact it's Nancy hugging her calms her down.

I've said this before, but Robin loves movies and cinema so when Nancy and her tried to have a movie night, she spoke about her film choice so much that they never got to watch it.

Eggos are Eleven's comfort food and whenever she's upset, Will makes her some and they eat it together whilst watching TV. He doesn't talk to her though because he knows she just wants to be quiet.

Johnathan tried practicing smiling naturally in the mirror when he was a kid because he was always getting told that he looked sad and he didn't understand why as he was just neutral.

Dustin jumping up and down on the spot when he was happy was him stimming and it's something he does quite frequently. He also flaps his hands sometimes.

Robin is super sarcastic but struggles when people are sarcastic back unless they do that tone of voice thing (I can't describe it haha) so sometimes she'll nudge Steve is she's unsure and he'll whisper to her if it is or isn't sarcastic. Issue is that sometimes he has issues telling too.

Will masks a lot because he doesn't want to get bullied but he masks way less around his family or around Mike and he stims a lot when he's with them.

Joyce spends ages making sure that the clothes tags won't bother Eleven, Will or Johnathan (especially Johnathan as he's reluctant to let her know when it's making him uncomfy).

Hope these are alright! Thanks for the ask and sorry for the delay (:

#stranger things #will byers #johnathan byers #eleven hopper #byers family #robin buckley #dustin henderson #ronance #byler #willel

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